Better Together LIVE | Episode 39 | TBN

Better Together LIVE | Episode 39

Watch Better Together LIVE | Episode 39
May 21, 2020
26:04

Indentifying emotional triggers. Reaching out for help. What can we expect on the journey to healing and recovery? | TBN Prayer Line: 1-888-731-1000

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Better Together LIVE | Episode 39

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  • - Laurie: TRAGEDY IS NOT THE
  • 00:00:01.495 --> 00:00:03.330
  • - Laurie: TRAGEDY IS NOT THEEND OF OUR STORY.
  • 00:00:03.330 --> 00:00:04.564
  • END OF OUR STORY.IT CAN BE TEMPTING TO SIT IN OUR
  • 00:00:04.564 --> 00:00:06.533
  • IT CAN BE TEMPTING TO SIT IN OURPAIN OR EVEN RUN AWAY.
  • 00:00:06.533 --> 00:00:08.135
  • PAIN OR EVEN RUN AWAY.BUT GOD CAN HEAL THE WOUNDS OF
  • 00:00:08.135 --> 00:00:09.436
  • BUT GOD CAN HEAL THE WOUNDS OFOUR HEARTS.
  • 00:00:09.436 --> 00:00:11.138
  • OUR HEARTS.LET'S TALK ABOUT FINDING HOPE IN
  • 00:00:11.138 --> 00:00:12.305
  • LET'S TALK ABOUT FINDING HOPE INTHE RECOVERY, NO MATTER HOW LONG
  • 00:00:12.305 --> 00:00:13.373
  • THE RECOVERY, NO MATTER HOW LONGIT TAKES.
  • 00:00:13.373 --> 00:00:16.543
  • IT TAKES.COME ON.
  • 00:00:16.543 --> 00:00:33.927
  • - Kayla: NONE OF US ARE EXEMPT
  • 00:00:35.962 --> 00:00:37.697
  • - Kayla: NONE OF US ARE EXEMPTFROM BROKENNESS OR PAIN.
  • 00:00:37.697 --> 00:00:39.499
  • FROM BROKENNESS OR PAIN.IT'S JUST PART OF LIFE.
  • 00:00:39.499 --> 00:00:42.235
  • IT'S JUST PART OF LIFE.WE ARE ALL EITHER GOING THROUGH,
  • 00:00:42.235 --> 00:00:43.403
  • WE ARE ALL EITHER GOING THROUGH,WILL GO THROUGH OR ARE IN THE
  • 00:00:43.403 --> 00:00:44.271
  • WILL GO THROUGH OR ARE IN THEMIDDLE OF GOING THROUGH
  • 00:00:44.271 --> 00:00:46.073
  • MIDDLE OF GOING THROUGHSOMETHING.
  • 00:00:46.073 --> 00:00:47.841
  • SOMETHING.WHEN WE WALK THROUGH HARD THINGS
  • 00:00:47.841 --> 00:00:49.643
  • WHEN WE WALK THROUGH HARD THINGSIT CHANGES US.
  • 00:00:49.643 --> 00:00:52.245
  • IT CHANGES US.SUFFERING IS A REFINING PROCESS.
  • 00:00:52.245 --> 00:00:53.880
  • SUFFERING IS A REFINING PROCESS.IT REMINDS US HOW LITTLE CONTROL
  • 00:00:53.880 --> 00:00:56.049
  • IT REMINDS US HOW LITTLE CONTROLWE ACTUALLY HAVE AND HOW GREAT
  • 00:00:56.049 --> 00:00:59.219
  • WE ACTUALLY HAVE AND HOW GREATOUR NEED FOR GOD ACTUALLY IS.
  • 00:00:59.219 --> 00:01:00.554
  • OUR NEED FOR GOD ACTUALLY IS.IT CHANGES US WHEN WE WALK
  • 00:01:00.554 --> 00:01:01.388
  • IT CHANGES US WHEN WE WALKTHROUGH THE FIRE.
  • 00:01:01.388 --> 00:01:03.290
  • THROUGH THE FIRE.WHEN WE EXPERIENCE TRAUMA OR
  • 00:01:03.290 --> 00:01:05.358
  • WHEN WE EXPERIENCE TRAUMA ORGRIEF OR LOSS IT CHANGES THE WAY
  • 00:01:05.358 --> 00:01:06.526
  • GRIEF OR LOSS IT CHANGES THE WAYWE SEE EVERYTHING.
  • 00:01:06.526 --> 00:01:08.028
  • WE SEE EVERYTHING.THE WAY WE INTERACT WITH THE
  • 00:01:08.028 --> 00:01:08.762
  • THE WAY WE INTERACT WITH THEWORLD.
  • 00:01:08.762 --> 00:01:09.996
  • WORLD.THE WAY WE INTERACT WITH OTHERS,
  • 00:01:09.996 --> 00:01:11.465
  • THE WAY WE INTERACT WITH OTHERS,THE WAY WE PROCESS INFORMATION.
  • 00:01:11.465 --> 00:01:13.200
  • THE WAY WE PROCESS INFORMATION.THE WAY WE RELATE TO OTHERS, IT
  • 00:01:13.200 --> 00:01:15.168
  • THE WAY WE RELATE TO OTHERS, ITCHANGES OUR FAITH.
  • 00:01:15.168 --> 00:01:16.603
  • CHANGES OUR FAITH.THE WAY WE DAILY WALK OUT AND
  • 00:01:16.603 --> 00:01:18.805
  • THE WAY WE DAILY WALK OUT ANDDEPEND ON GOD.
  • 00:01:18.805 --> 00:01:20.273
  • DEPEND ON GOD.IN MY 30 YEARS ON THIS EARTH,
  • 00:01:20.273 --> 00:01:23.243
  • IN MY 30 YEARS ON THIS EARTH,I'VE WALKED THROUGH NUMEROUS
  • 00:01:23.243 --> 00:01:24.878
  • I'VE WALKED THROUGH NUMEROUSWILDERNESS SEASONS WHERE MY PAIN
  • 00:01:24.878 --> 00:01:26.279
  • WILDERNESS SEASONS WHERE MY PAINWAS ABSOLUTELY OVERWHELMING AND
  • 00:01:26.279 --> 00:01:28.148
  • WAS ABSOLUTELY OVERWHELMING ANDI STRUGGLED TO KNOW WHAT DO WITH
  • 00:01:28.148 --> 00:01:29.883
  • I STRUGGLED TO KNOW WHAT DO WITHIT.
  • 00:01:29.883 --> 00:01:31.451
  • IT.WHAT I NOTICED EARLY ON,
  • 00:01:31.451 --> 00:01:33.086
  • WHAT I NOTICED EARLY ON,ESPECIALLY AFTER LOSING MY
  • 00:01:33.086 --> 00:01:33.820
  • ESPECIALLY AFTER LOSING MYHUSBAND WAS HOW HELPFUL IT WAS
  • 00:01:33.820 --> 00:01:35.222
  • HUSBAND WAS HOW HELPFUL IT WASTO TALK ABOUT IT.
  • 00:01:35.222 --> 00:01:36.456
  • TO TALK ABOUT IT.AFTER I EXPERIENCED THE TRAUMA
  • 00:01:36.456 --> 00:01:38.225
  • AFTER I EXPERIENCED THE TRAUMAOF SUICIDE AND LOSING MY HUSBAND
  • 00:01:38.225 --> 00:01:39.993
  • OF SUICIDE AND LOSING MY HUSBANDTO SUICIDE, MY THERAPIST
  • 00:01:39.993 --> 00:01:42.129
  • TO SUICIDE, MY THERAPISTDESCRIBED IT AS MY BRAIN HAD ALL
  • 00:01:42.129 --> 00:01:43.563
  • DESCRIBED IT AS MY BRAIN HAD ALLTHESE FILES.
  • 00:01:43.563 --> 00:01:46.099
  • THESE FILES.ALL OF A SUDDEN MY BRAIN HAD
  • 00:01:46.099 --> 00:01:48.535
  • ALL OF A SUDDEN MY BRAIN HADTHIS GREAT ORGANIZED SYSTEM.
  • 00:01:48.535 --> 00:01:50.237
  • THIS GREAT ORGANIZED SYSTEM.ALL OF A SUDDEN ALL THESE FILES
  • 00:01:50.237 --> 00:01:51.838
  • ALL OF A SUDDEN ALL THESE FILESTHAT WERE SCATTERED ALL OVER THE
  • 00:01:51.838 --> 00:01:54.107
  • THAT WERE SCATTERED ALL OVER THEPLACE AND ALL THESE NEW PAPERS
  • 00:01:54.107 --> 00:01:56.576
  • PLACE AND ALL THESE NEW PAPERSAND NO WHERE TO PUT IT.
  • 00:01:56.576 --> 00:01:58.345
  • AND NO WHERE TO PUT IT.SO ALL DAY EVERY DAY FOR THE
  • 00:01:58.345 --> 00:01:59.779
  • SO ALL DAY EVERY DAY FOR THEFIRST THREE MONTHS, EVEN WHEN I
  • 00:01:59.779 --> 00:02:01.248
  • FIRST THREE MONTHS, EVEN WHEN IWENT TO BED, I DIDN'T EVEN GET A
  • 00:02:01.248 --> 00:02:03.483
  • WENT TO BED, I DIDN'T EVEN GET ABREAK IN MY DREAMS, ALL DAY
  • 00:02:03.483 --> 00:02:05.118
  • BREAK IN MY DREAMS, ALL DAYEVERY DAY I WOULD CIRCULATE THE
  • 00:02:05.118 --> 00:02:06.753
  • EVERY DAY I WOULD CIRCULATE THETRAUMA.
  • 00:02:06.753 --> 00:02:08.588
  • TRAUMA.THE TRAUMA WOULD GO AROUND AND
  • 00:02:08.588 --> 00:02:10.824
  • THE TRAUMA WOULD GO AROUND ANDAROUND AND AROUND AND AROUND.
  • 00:02:10.824 --> 00:02:11.858
  • AROUND AND AROUND AND AROUND.AND MY BRAIN WAS JUST TRYING TO
  • 00:02:11.858 --> 00:02:15.729
  • AND MY BRAIN WAS JUST TRYING TOUNDERSTAND HOW DID THIS HAPPY TO
  • 00:02:15.729 --> 00:02:16.363
  • UNDERSTAND HOW DID THIS HAPPY TOMY LIFE?
  • 00:02:16.363 --> 00:02:17.063
  • MY LIFE?HOW DID THIS HAPPEN TO MY
  • 00:02:17.063 --> 00:02:18.498
  • HOW DID THIS HAPPEN TO MYHUSBAND?
  • 00:02:18.498 --> 00:02:21.268
  • HUSBAND?AND WHAT WAS SO HELPFUL, IT WAS
  • 00:02:21.268 --> 00:02:22.836
  • AND WHAT WAS SO HELPFUL, IT WASSO HELPFUL FOR ME TO THINK ABOUT
  • 00:02:22.836 --> 00:02:23.703
  • SO HELPFUL FOR ME TO THINK ABOUTIT THAT WAY AS THESE PAPERS
  • 00:02:23.703 --> 00:02:25.572
  • IT THAT WAY AS THESE PAPERSSCATTERED EVERYWHERE.
  • 00:02:25.572 --> 00:02:26.239
  • SCATTERED EVERYWHERE.IT GAVE ME A GOAL.
  • 00:02:26.239 --> 00:02:27.340
  • IT GAVE ME A GOAL.THE GOAL WAS TO CREATE A NEW
  • 00:02:27.340 --> 00:02:28.942
  • THE GOAL WAS TO CREATE A NEWFILING SYSTEM AND TO CREATE NEW
  • 00:02:28.942 --> 00:02:30.810
  • FILING SYSTEM AND TO CREATE NEWFILES TO STORE THAT TRAUMA IN.
  • 00:02:30.810 --> 00:02:32.779
  • FILES TO STORE THAT TRAUMA IN.IN ORDER TO CREATE THOSE NEW
  • 00:02:32.779 --> 00:02:34.981
  • IN ORDER TO CREATE THOSE NEWFILES I HAD TO TALK ABOUT THE
  • 00:02:34.981 --> 00:02:36.216
  • FILES I HAD TO TALK ABOUT THEPAIN AND I HAD TO PROCESS THE
  • 00:02:36.216 --> 00:02:37.517
  • PAIN AND I HAD TO PROCESS THETRAUMA AND I HAD TO SIT IN
  • 00:02:37.517 --> 00:02:39.486
  • TRAUMA AND I HAD TO SIT INTHERAPY AND I HAD TO SIT WITH A
  • 00:02:39.486 --> 00:02:42.088
  • THERAPY AND I HAD TO SIT WITH ACOUNSELOR AND RELIVE A LOT OF
  • 00:02:42.088 --> 00:02:43.623
  • COUNSELOR AND RELIVE A LOT OFTHOSE EXPERIENCES.
  • 00:02:43.623 --> 00:02:46.126
  • THOSE EXPERIENCES.WE TALKED ABOUT BEFORE WRITING
  • 00:02:46.126 --> 00:02:48.061
  • WE TALKED ABOUT BEFORE WRITINGIT DOWN AND JOURNALING WAS SO
  • 00:02:48.061 --> 00:02:50.697
  • IT DOWN AND JOURNALING WAS SOHEALING FOR ME JUST TO GET THOSE
  • 00:02:50.697 --> 00:02:52.332
  • HEALING FOR ME JUST TO GET THOSETHOUGHTS OUT OF MY HEAD AND ON
  • 00:02:52.332 --> 00:02:53.400
  • THOUGHTS OUT OF MY HEAD AND ONTO PAPER.
  • 00:02:53.400 --> 00:02:55.468
  • TO PAPER.BUT TRAUMA DOES SO MUCH TO OUR
  • 00:02:55.468 --> 00:02:57.737
  • BUT TRAUMA DOES SO MUCH TO OURWHOLE PHYSICAL BODY.
  • 00:02:57.737 --> 00:03:00.707
  • WHOLE PHYSICAL BODY.IT'S SUCH A PHYSICAL RESPONSE.
  • 00:03:00.707 --> 00:03:01.908
  • IT'S SUCH A PHYSICAL RESPONSE.OUR MINDS-- I REMEMBER FEELING
  • 00:03:01.908 --> 00:03:03.376
  • OUR MINDS-- I REMEMBER FEELINGLIKE I HAD AN ELEPHANT SITTING
  • 00:03:03.376 --> 00:03:07.214
  • LIKE I HAD AN ELEPHANT SITTINGON MY CHEST.
  • 00:03:07.214 --> 00:03:07.948
  • ON MY CHEST.IT WAS SO SUFFOCATING.
  • 00:03:07.948 --> 00:03:09.115
  • IT WAS SO SUFFOCATING.I REMEMBER THE KNOT IN MY
  • 00:03:09.115 --> 00:03:10.684
  • I REMEMBER THE KNOT IN MYSTOMACH WHERE I COULD NOT EAT.
  • 00:03:10.684 --> 00:03:11.952
  • STOMACH WHERE I COULD NOT EAT.I LITERALLY DID NOT EAT FOR TWO
  • 00:03:11.952 --> 00:03:13.520
  • I LITERALLY DID NOT EAT FOR TWOWEEKS.
  • 00:03:13.520 --> 00:03:14.688
  • WEEKS.I COULD NOT EAT.
  • 00:03:14.688 --> 00:03:15.422
  • I COULD NOT EAT.AND MY STOMACH WAS JUST IN
  • 00:03:15.422 --> 00:03:17.457
  • AND MY STOMACH WAS JUST INKNOTS.
  • 00:03:17.457 --> 00:03:18.458
  • KNOTS.THIS WHOLE BODY REACTION TO
  • 00:03:18.458 --> 00:03:20.760
  • THIS WHOLE BODY REACTION TOTRAUMA CAN BE VERY DIFFICULT TO
  • 00:03:20.760 --> 00:03:23.163
  • TRAUMA CAN BE VERY DIFFICULT TOKNOW WHAT TO DO WITH OUR PAIN.
  • 00:03:23.163 --> 00:03:25.131
  • KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH OUR PAIN.SO I THINK RIGHT AWAY WHAT WAS
  • 00:03:25.131 --> 00:03:26.733
  • SO I THINK RIGHT AWAY WHAT WASSO HELPFUL FOR ME WAS TO SEEK
  • 00:03:26.733 --> 00:03:29.135
  • SO HELPFUL FOR ME WAS TO SEEKTHERAPY AND TO BE WILLING TO
  • 00:03:29.135 --> 00:03:30.704
  • THERAPY AND TO BE WILLING TOTALK ABOUT IT AND TO BE WILLING
  • 00:03:30.704 --> 00:03:32.005
  • TALK ABOUT IT AND TO BE WILLINGTO GO THERE EVEN THOUGH IT WAS
  • 00:03:32.005 --> 00:03:34.474
  • TO GO THERE EVEN THOUGH IT WASPAINFUL.
  • 00:03:34.474 --> 00:03:35.308
  • PAINFUL.TO BE WILLING TO GO BACK TO
  • 00:03:35.308 --> 00:03:37.043
  • TO BE WILLING TO GO BACK TOTHOSE MOMENTS AND RELIVE THOSE
  • 00:03:37.043 --> 00:03:39.246
  • THOSE MOMENTS AND RELIVE THOSETRAUMATIC EVENTS AND TALK ABOUT
  • 00:03:39.246 --> 00:03:40.280
  • TRAUMATIC EVENTS AND TALK ABOUTIT AND CREATE NEW FILES.
  • 00:03:40.280 --> 00:03:41.915
  • IT AND CREATE NEW FILES.AND OVER TIME I DID.
  • 00:03:41.915 --> 00:03:44.651
  • AND OVER TIME I DID.TODAY IT'S BEEN A YEAR AND A
  • 00:03:44.651 --> 00:03:46.186
  • TODAY IT'S BEEN A YEAR AND AHALF.
  • 00:03:46.186 --> 00:03:47.654
  • HALF.I THINK IT'S BEEN TWENTY MONTHS
  • 00:03:47.654 --> 00:03:48.555
  • I THINK IT'S BEEN TWENTY MONTHSSINCE HE PASSED AWAY.
  • 00:03:48.555 --> 00:03:51.091
  • SINCE HE PASSED AWAY.AND MY BRAIN NOW HAS THESE NEW
  • 00:03:51.091 --> 00:03:53.226
  • AND MY BRAIN NOW HAS THESE NEWFILES.
  • 00:03:53.226 --> 00:03:55.328
  • FILES.IF I WANT TO GO BACK AND I WANT
  • 00:03:55.328 --> 00:03:56.196
  • IF I WANT TO GO BACK AND I WANTTO THINK ABOUT SOMETHING, I PULL
  • 00:03:56.196 --> 00:03:57.530
  • TO THINK ABOUT SOMETHING, I PULLIT OUT AND I CAN THINK ABOUT IT
  • 00:03:57.530 --> 00:03:59.199
  • IT OUT AND I CAN THINK ABOUT ITAND REFLECT ON IT AND SIT IN IT
  • 00:03:59.199 --> 00:04:00.667
  • AND REFLECT ON IT AND SIT IN ITFOR AWHILE AND I CAN PUT IT BACK
  • 00:04:00.667 --> 00:04:02.035
  • FOR AWHILE AND I CAN PUT IT BACKIN AND IT HAS A SAFE SPACE TO
  • 00:04:02.035 --> 00:04:04.104
  • IN AND IT HAS A SAFE SPACE TOGO.
  • 00:04:04.104 --> 00:04:05.739
  • GO.SO THAT'S BEEN SUPER HELPFUL FOR
  • 00:04:05.739 --> 00:04:08.575
  • SO THAT'S BEEN SUPER HELPFUL FORME IN MY JOURNEY OF EXPERIENCING
  • 00:04:08.575 --> 00:04:10.710
  • ME IN MY JOURNEY OF EXPERIENCINGTRAUMA AND NOW HEALING.
  • 00:04:10.710 --> 00:04:12.746
  • TRAUMA AND NOW HEALING.I'M ON THIS HEALING JOURNEY OF
  • 00:04:12.746 --> 00:04:14.414
  • I'M ON THIS HEALING JOURNEY OFLEARNING HOW TO REBUILD MY LIFE
  • 00:04:14.414 --> 00:04:15.982
  • LEARNING HOW TO REBUILD MY LIFEAFTER TRAUMA.
  • 00:04:15.982 --> 00:04:18.351
  • AFTER TRAUMA.AND I KNOW, CHRYSTAL, THAT YOUR
  • 00:04:18.351 --> 00:04:19.019
  • AND I KNOW, CHRYSTAL, THAT YOURFAMILY HAS WALKED THROUGH SO
  • 00:04:19.019 --> 00:04:21.721
  • FAMILY HAS WALKED THROUGH SOMUCH GRIEF AND PAIN IN THESE
  • 00:04:21.721 --> 00:04:22.555
  • MUCH GRIEF AND PAIN IN THESELAST FEW YEARS, MULTIPLE FAMILY
  • 00:04:22.555 --> 00:04:23.690
  • LAST FEW YEARS, MULTIPLE FAMILYMEMBERS.
  • 00:04:23.690 --> 00:04:24.924
  • MEMBERS.AND I WONDER HOW YOU HAVE DEALT
  • 00:04:24.924 --> 00:04:29.729
  • AND I WONDER HOW YOU HAVE DEALTWITH YOUR GRIEF AND YOUR TRAUMA.
  • 00:04:29.729 --> 00:04:31.097
  • WITH YOUR GRIEF AND YOUR TRAUMA.- Chrystal: YEAH, I MEAN, AND
  • 00:04:31.097 --> 00:04:33.266
  • - Chrystal: YEAH, I MEAN, ANDTHERE ARE PEOPLE THEY ARE STILL,
  • 00:04:33.266 --> 00:04:34.334
  • THERE ARE PEOPLE THEY ARE STILL,OF COURSE, ASKING ME HOW I'M
  • 00:04:34.334 --> 00:04:36.569
  • OF COURSE, ASKING ME HOW I'MDOING BECAUSE THEY ARE TRYING TO
  • 00:04:36.569 --> 00:04:37.304
  • DOING BECAUSE THEY ARE TRYING TOFIGURE OUT HOW IN THE MIDST OF
  • 00:04:37.304 --> 00:04:37.937
  • FIGURE OUT HOW IN THE MIDST OFWALKING THROUGH IT AND
  • 00:04:37.937 --> 00:04:39.139
  • WALKING THROUGH IT ANDCONTINUING TO LIVE A LOT OF THE
  • 00:04:39.139 --> 00:04:42.008
  • CONTINUING TO LIVE A LOT OF THELIVING THAT WE DO, THAT I DO,
  • 00:04:42.008 --> 00:04:43.109
  • LIVING THAT WE DO, THAT I DO,THAT MY FAMILY DOES IS IN FRONT
  • 00:04:43.109 --> 00:04:44.477
  • THAT MY FAMILY DOES IS IN FRONTOF OTHER PEOPLE.
  • 00:04:44.477 --> 00:04:45.378
  • OF OTHER PEOPLE.WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE?
  • 00:04:45.378 --> 00:04:46.579
  • WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE?AND ARE YOU REALLY OKAY?
  • 00:04:46.579 --> 00:04:50.150
  • AND ARE YOU REALLY OKAY?I LOVE HOW YOU EXPLAIN THIS IDEA
  • 00:04:50.150 --> 00:04:52.185
  • I LOVE HOW YOU EXPLAIN THIS IDEAOF HAVING ALL THESE FILES AND NO
  • 00:04:52.185 --> 00:04:54.020
  • OF HAVING ALL THESE FILES AND NOWHERE TO PUT THEM AND YOU'RE
  • 00:04:54.020 --> 00:04:56.122
  • WHERE TO PUT THEM AND YOU'RECREATING NEW FILES.
  • 00:04:56.122 --> 00:04:58.091
  • CREATING NEW FILES.I DEFINITELY THINK THAT A PART
  • 00:04:58.091 --> 00:04:59.759
  • I DEFINITELY THINK THAT A PARTOF THAT HAS BEEN FIGURING OUT
  • 00:04:59.759 --> 00:05:01.628
  • OF THAT HAS BEEN FIGURING OUTWHAT TO DO WITH THE THINGS YOU
  • 00:05:01.628 --> 00:05:02.996
  • WHAT TO DO WITH THE THINGS YOUDIDN'T HAVE A PLACE FOR.
  • 00:05:02.996 --> 00:05:04.731
  • DIDN'T HAVE A PLACE FOR.MY MOTHER, OF COURSE, SHE PASSED
  • 00:05:04.731 --> 00:05:06.266
  • MY MOTHER, OF COURSE, SHE PASSEDAWAY IN DECEMBER, SHE ALWAYS
  • 00:05:06.266 --> 00:05:08.401
  • AWAY IN DECEMBER, SHE ALWAYSWANTED TO LIVE A VERY, VERY LONG
  • 00:05:08.401 --> 00:05:09.869
  • WANTED TO LIVE A VERY, VERY LONGLIFE.
  • 00:05:09.869 --> 00:05:11.871
  • LIFE.AND MY GRANDPARENTS, HER PARENTS
  • 00:05:11.871 --> 00:05:13.773
  • AND MY GRANDPARENTS, HER PARENTSDID.
  • 00:05:13.773 --> 00:05:15.308
  • DID.HER MOTHER PASSED AWAY JUST A
  • 00:05:15.308 --> 00:05:16.242
  • HER MOTHER PASSED AWAY JUST AFEW YEARS BEFORE AT THE AGE OF
  • 00:05:16.242 --> 00:05:18.178
  • FEW YEARS BEFORE AT THE AGE OF97.
  • 00:05:18.178 --> 00:05:19.746
  • 97.AND MY MOTHER HAVING NOT HAD ANY
  • 00:05:19.746 --> 00:05:24.050
  • AND MY MOTHER HAVING NOT HAD ANYREAL MAJOR HEALTH CHALLENGES,
  • 00:05:24.050 --> 00:05:25.051
  • REAL MAJOR HEALTH CHALLENGES,PRETTY HEALTHY, DOING ALL THE
  • 00:05:25.051 --> 00:05:26.186
  • PRETTY HEALTHY, DOING ALL THETHINGS, WORKING OUT, EATING
  • 00:05:26.186 --> 00:05:27.454
  • THINGS, WORKING OUT, EATINGORGANIC, IT FELT LIKE BEING
  • 00:05:27.454 --> 00:05:29.222
  • ORGANIC, IT FELT LIKE BEINGBLINDSIDED.
  • 00:05:29.222 --> 00:05:32.459
  • BLINDSIDED.AND YOU FIND YOURSELF SAYING,
  • 00:05:32.459 --> 00:05:34.594
  • AND YOU FIND YOURSELF SAYING,HOW DID THIS HAPPEN TO US?
  • 00:05:34.594 --> 00:05:36.796
  • HOW DID THIS HAPPEN TO US?WELL, REALLY, WHY WOULDN'T IT
  • 00:05:36.796 --> 00:05:37.964
  • WELL, REALLY, WHY WOULDN'T ITHAVE HAPPENED TO US?
  • 00:05:37.964 --> 00:05:39.733
  • HAVE HAPPENED TO US?EVERYBODY WHO IS BLINDSIDED BY
  • 00:05:39.733 --> 00:05:42.202
  • EVERYBODY WHO IS BLINDSIDED BYANYTHING DIFFICULT THAT RESULTS
  • 00:05:42.202 --> 00:05:44.104
  • ANYTHING DIFFICULT THAT RESULTSIN A TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE,
  • 00:05:44.104 --> 00:05:45.305
  • IN A TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE,PARTICULARLY WITH LOSS IS GOING
  • 00:05:45.305 --> 00:05:46.573
  • PARTICULARLY WITH LOSS IS GOINGTO HAVE THAT THOUGHT, BECAUSE WE
  • 00:05:46.573 --> 00:05:47.841
  • TO HAVE THAT THOUGHT, BECAUSE WEDON'T EXPECT IT.
  • 00:05:47.841 --> 00:05:50.243
  • DON'T EXPECT IT.SO A LARGE PART OF THE JOURNEY
  • 00:05:50.243 --> 00:05:51.878
  • SO A LARGE PART OF THE JOURNEYFOR ME IS ADJUSTING MY
  • 00:05:51.878 --> 00:05:53.980
  • FOR ME IS ADJUSTING MYEXPECTATIONS, ADJUSTING MY
  • 00:05:53.980 --> 00:05:55.315
  • EXPECTATIONS, ADJUSTING MYEXPECTATIONS FOR MY LIFE.
  • 00:05:55.315 --> 00:05:57.751
  • EXPECTATIONS FOR MY LIFE.WHAT THAT LOOKS LIKE, ADJUSTING
  • 00:05:57.751 --> 00:05:58.918
  • WHAT THAT LOOKS LIKE, ADJUSTINGTHE EXPECTATIONS OF WHAT I
  • 00:05:58.918 --> 00:06:00.286
  • THE EXPECTATIONS OF WHAT IASSUME, ADJUSTING THE
  • 00:06:00.286 --> 00:06:02.822
  • ASSUME, ADJUSTING THEEXPECTATIONS HOW I HONOR HER,
  • 00:06:02.822 --> 00:06:04.624
  • EXPECTATIONS HOW I HONOR HER,FOR EXAMPLE, ONE OF THE THOUGHTS
  • 00:06:04.624 --> 00:06:06.025
  • FOR EXAMPLE, ONE OF THE THOUGHTSTHAT I HAVE HAD, IT MAKES ME SAD
  • 00:06:06.025 --> 00:06:07.861
  • THAT I HAVE HAD, IT MAKES ME SADBECAUSE I THINK THAT SHE HAD 25
  • 00:06:07.861 --> 00:06:11.731
  • BECAUSE I THINK THAT SHE HAD 25YEARS, MORE THAN THAT, REALLY,
  • 00:06:11.731 --> 00:06:14.634
  • YEARS, MORE THAN THAT, REALLY,TO LIVE IN A SEASON OF EMPTY
  • 00:06:14.634 --> 00:06:16.569
  • TO LIVE IN A SEASON OF EMPTYNESTING, WHERE SHE ALSO HAD THE
  • 00:06:16.569 --> 00:06:19.606
  • NESTING, WHERE SHE ALSO HAD THEBANDWIDTH, THE TIME, THE
  • 00:06:19.606 --> 00:06:20.373
  • BANDWIDTH, THE TIME, THERESOURCES AND THE KNOWLEDGE TO
  • 00:06:20.373 --> 00:06:22.675
  • RESOURCES AND THE KNOWLEDGE TOHONOR HER MOTHER WELL.
  • 00:06:22.675 --> 00:06:23.810
  • HONOR HER MOTHER WELL.AND I'M JUST AT THE BEGINNING OF
  • 00:06:23.810 --> 00:06:24.477
  • AND I'M JUST AT THE BEGINNING OFTHAT.
  • 00:06:24.477 --> 00:06:25.779
  • THAT.MY KIDS ARE JUST GETTING OUT OF
  • 00:06:25.779 --> 00:06:26.880
  • MY KIDS ARE JUST GETTING OUT OFTHE HOUSE.
  • 00:06:26.880 --> 00:06:27.914
  • THE HOUSE.THAT SEASON WHERE, THEY'RE NOT
  • 00:06:27.914 --> 00:06:29.616
  • THAT SEASON WHERE, THEY'RE NOTBUYING, YOU'RE BUYING, THEY'RE
  • 00:06:29.616 --> 00:06:30.884
  • BUYING, YOU'RE BUYING, THEY'RENOT TAKING YOU ON SOMETHING,
  • 00:06:30.884 --> 00:06:32.285
  • NOT TAKING YOU ON SOMETHING,YOU'RE TAKING THEM.
  • 00:06:32.285 --> 00:06:34.287
  • YOU'RE TAKING THEM.AND THIS SEASON WHERE THE ROLES
  • 00:06:34.287 --> 00:06:36.222
  • AND THIS SEASON WHERE THE ROLESSTART TO FLIP IN A VERY HEALTHY
  • 00:06:36.222 --> 00:06:38.191
  • START TO FLIP IN A VERY HEALTHYWAY WHERE YOU CAN SERVE THEM.
  • 00:06:38.191 --> 00:06:40.493
  • WAY WHERE YOU CAN SERVE THEM.I FELT ROBBED OF THAT.
  • 00:06:40.493 --> 00:06:42.529
  • I FELT ROBBED OF THAT.I HAD TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT, MAN,
  • 00:06:42.529 --> 00:06:44.130
  • I HAD TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT, MAN,I FELT ROBBED.
  • 00:06:44.130 --> 00:06:44.964
  • I FELT ROBBED.I'M SURE YOU CAN IDENTIFY WITH
  • 00:06:44.964 --> 00:06:46.766
  • I'M SURE YOU CAN IDENTIFY WITHTHAT TOO, KAYLA, WHERE THIS IS
  • 00:06:46.766 --> 00:06:47.934
  • THAT TOO, KAYLA, WHERE THIS ISNOT HOW FAMILY WAS SUPPOSED TO
  • 00:06:47.934 --> 00:06:48.868
  • NOT HOW FAMILY WAS SUPPOSED TOBE.
  • 00:06:48.868 --> 00:06:49.636
  • BE.THIS IS NOT HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO
  • 00:06:49.636 --> 00:06:51.438
  • THIS IS NOT HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TOGO AND JUST BEING HONEST ABOUT
  • 00:06:51.438 --> 00:06:52.138
  • GO AND JUST BEING HONEST ABOUTTHAT.
  • 00:06:52.138 --> 00:06:54.307
  • THAT.BEING HONEST ABOUT IT AND BEING
  • 00:06:54.307 --> 00:06:55.909
  • BEING HONEST ABOUT IT AND BEINGOKAY WITH NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO
  • 00:06:55.909 --> 00:06:56.943
  • OKAY WITH NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DOWITH IT.
  • 00:06:56.943 --> 00:06:57.911
  • WITH IT.NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO.
  • 00:06:57.911 --> 00:06:59.979
  • NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO.BECAUSE WHILE TIME DOESN'T HEAL
  • 00:06:59.979 --> 00:07:01.247
  • BECAUSE WHILE TIME DOESN'T HEALALL WOUNDS, IT CERTAINLY MAKES
  • 00:07:01.247 --> 00:07:02.415
  • ALL WOUNDS, IT CERTAINLY MAKESTHEM MORE PALATABLE.
  • 00:07:02.415 --> 00:07:05.585
  • THEM MORE PALATABLE.YOU LEARN THIS WAY OF LIVING
  • 00:07:05.585 --> 00:07:07.520
  • YOU LEARN THIS WAY OF LIVINGWITH THE THING THAT'S BEEN HARD
  • 00:07:07.520 --> 00:07:08.721
  • WITH THE THING THAT'S BEEN HARDAND ACCEPTING THAT IT'S A PART
  • 00:07:08.721 --> 00:07:10.690
  • AND ACCEPTING THAT IT'S A PARTOF YOU.
  • 00:07:10.690 --> 00:07:11.724
  • OF YOU.WHEN I HAD A C-SECTION WITH ONE
  • 00:07:11.724 --> 00:07:13.159
  • WHEN I HAD A C-SECTION WITH ONEOF MY KIDS, I REMEMBER BEING
  • 00:07:13.159 --> 00:07:15.762
  • OF MY KIDS, I REMEMBER BEINGHORRIFIED.
  • 00:07:15.762 --> 00:07:18.298
  • HORRIFIED.AFTER THE FACT WHERE I GOT
  • 00:07:18.298 --> 00:07:22.035
  • AFTER THE FACT WHERE I GOTSLICED OPEN, WHERE THE BABY WAS
  • 00:07:22.035 --> 00:07:23.937
  • SLICED OPEN, WHERE THE BABY WASTAKEN FROM ME AND BORN, AND I'M
  • 00:07:23.937 --> 00:07:24.971
  • TAKEN FROM ME AND BORN, AND I'MSO GRATEFUL THAT WE HAVE
  • 00:07:24.971 --> 00:07:26.272
  • SO GRATEFUL THAT WE HAVETECHNOLOGY TO MAKE THOSE THINGS
  • 00:07:26.272 --> 00:07:27.974
  • TECHNOLOGY TO MAKE THOSE THINGSHAPPEN WHEN BIRTH IS HARD, BUT I
  • 00:07:27.974 --> 00:07:29.442
  • HAPPEN WHEN BIRTH IS HARD, BUT IWAS, I'M NUMB THERE, NOBODY TOLD
  • 00:07:29.442 --> 00:07:30.310
  • WAS, I'M NUMB THERE, NOBODY TOLDME THAT.
  • 00:07:30.310 --> 00:07:33.246
  • ME THAT.OF COURSE IT MAKES SENSE THAT
  • 00:07:33.246 --> 00:07:35.682
  • OF COURSE IT MAKES SENSE THATNERVES GET CUT AND YOUR BODY IS
  • 00:07:35.682 --> 00:07:37.350
  • NERVES GET CUT AND YOUR BODY ISNOT GONNA BE THE SAME.
  • 00:07:37.350 --> 00:07:38.751
  • NOT GONNA BE THE SAME.BUT THERE WERE SO MANY THINGS
  • 00:07:38.751 --> 00:07:40.186
  • BUT THERE WERE SO MANY THINGSABOUT CHILD BIRTH AND SO MANY
  • 00:07:40.186 --> 00:07:41.554
  • ABOUT CHILD BIRTH AND SO MANYTHINGS ABOUT THAT C-SECTION.
  • 00:07:41.554 --> 00:07:43.189
  • THINGS ABOUT THAT C-SECTION.I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT.
  • 00:07:43.189 --> 00:07:46.426
  • I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT.SO ON TOP OF THE ACUTE PAIN OF
  • 00:07:46.426 --> 00:07:48.728
  • SO ON TOP OF THE ACUTE PAIN OFTHIS STILL HURTS, LIKE I'M
  • 00:07:48.728 --> 00:07:50.830
  • THIS STILL HURTS, LIKE I'MTRYING TO CARE FOR A NEWBORN
  • 00:07:50.830 --> 00:07:52.699
  • TRYING TO CARE FOR A NEWBORNWHILE I PHYSICALLY DON'T HAVE MY
  • 00:07:52.699 --> 00:07:55.702
  • WHILE I PHYSICALLY DON'T HAVE MYFULL PHYSICALITY BACK AND THERE
  • 00:07:55.702 --> 00:07:57.804
  • FULL PHYSICALITY BACK AND THEREARE ALL THESE THINGS THAT CAME
  • 00:07:57.804 --> 00:07:58.905
  • ARE ALL THESE THINGS THAT CAMEWITH THAT THAT I DID NOT KNOW
  • 00:07:58.905 --> 00:07:59.639
  • WITH THAT THAT I DID NOT KNOWABOUT.
  • 00:07:59.639 --> 00:08:01.908
  • ABOUT.AND I WOULD HEAR PEOPLE SAY TO
  • 00:08:01.908 --> 00:08:02.709
  • AND I WOULD HEAR PEOPLE SAY TOME, AND MANY OF YOU MAY HAVE
  • 00:08:02.709 --> 00:08:03.977
  • ME, AND MANY OF YOU MAY HAVEHEARD, IT TAKES NINE MONTHS TO
  • 00:08:03.977 --> 00:08:05.078
  • HEARD, IT TAKES NINE MONTHS TOBAKE A BABY.
  • 00:08:05.078 --> 00:08:06.913
  • BAKE A BABY.IT TAKES NINE MONTHS PLUS TO
  • 00:08:06.913 --> 00:08:09.315
  • IT TAKES NINE MONTHS PLUS TORECOVER FROM HAVING ONE.
  • 00:08:09.315 --> 00:08:11.251
  • RECOVER FROM HAVING ONE.JUST BE OKAY IN THE MIDDLE WITH
  • 00:08:11.251 --> 00:08:12.418
  • JUST BE OKAY IN THE MIDDLE WITHALL OF THE UNEXPECTED THINGS
  • 00:08:12.418 --> 00:08:13.720
  • ALL OF THE UNEXPECTED THINGSTHAT ARE COMING.
  • 00:08:13.720 --> 00:08:15.188
  • THAT ARE COMING.YOU KNEW YOU WEREN'T GONNA GET
  • 00:08:15.188 --> 00:08:16.022
  • YOU KNEW YOU WEREN'T GONNA GETANY SLEEP.
  • 00:08:16.022 --> 00:08:17.757
  • ANY SLEEP.YOU KNEW YOUR BODY WAS NOT GONNA
  • 00:08:17.757 --> 00:08:19.125
  • YOU KNEW YOUR BODY WAS NOT GONNABE YOUR OWN, BUT YOU MAY NOT
  • 00:08:19.125 --> 00:08:19.859
  • BE YOUR OWN, BUT YOU MAY NOTHAVE REALIZED POST BABY HAVING
  • 00:08:19.859 --> 00:08:22.128
  • HAVE REALIZED POST BABY HAVINGWHAT THAT EXPERIENCE WAS GONNA
  • 00:08:22.128 --> 00:08:23.129
  • WHAT THAT EXPERIENCE WAS GONNABE LIKE FOR YOU.
  • 00:08:23.129 --> 00:08:24.430
  • BE LIKE FOR YOU.AND THAT'S WHAT I THINK I'M
  • 00:08:24.430 --> 00:08:25.932
  • AND THAT'S WHAT I THINK I'MLEARNING TO DO.
  • 00:08:25.932 --> 00:08:26.933
  • LEARNING TO DO.IS LEARNING WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE
  • 00:08:26.933 --> 00:08:29.002
  • IS LEARNING WHAT IT LOOKS LIKETO HAVE ALL OF THE EMOTIONS, TO
  • 00:08:29.002 --> 00:08:30.937
  • TO HAVE ALL OF THE EMOTIONS, TOHAVE ALL OF THE GRATITUDE.
  • 00:08:30.937 --> 00:08:32.805
  • HAVE ALL OF THE GRATITUDE.BEING REALLY INTENTIONAL ABOUT
  • 00:08:32.805 --> 00:08:35.542
  • BEING REALLY INTENTIONAL ABOUTWHAT WAS GOOD AND WHAT I DID GET
  • 00:08:35.542 --> 00:08:37.243
  • WHAT WAS GOOD AND WHAT I DID GETTO HAVE AND NOT WHAT I LOST AND
  • 00:08:37.243 --> 00:08:37.977
  • TO HAVE AND NOT WHAT I LOST ANDLEARNING TO HOLD THOSE TWO
  • 00:08:37.977 --> 00:08:40.446
  • LEARNING TO HOLD THOSE TWOTHINGS IN TANDEM AND TO SAY, AS
  • 00:08:40.446 --> 00:08:43.383
  • THINGS IN TANDEM AND TO SAY, ASI FIGURE OUT WHAT THAT LOOKS
  • 00:08:43.383 --> 00:08:45.752
  • I FIGURE OUT WHAT THAT LOOKSLIKE FOR ME, TO HOLD THOSE
  • 00:08:45.752 --> 00:08:47.353
  • LIKE FOR ME, TO HOLD THOSETHINGS IN TANDEM, GIVING MYSELF
  • 00:08:47.353 --> 00:08:49.222
  • THINGS IN TANDEM, GIVING MYSELFGRACE TO REALIZE ONE DAY I
  • 00:08:49.222 --> 00:08:50.823
  • GRACE TO REALIZE ONE DAY IDIDN'T EXPECT THAT.
  • 00:08:50.823 --> 00:08:52.425
  • DIDN'T EXPECT THAT.ANOTHER DAY I DIDN'T KNOW THIS
  • 00:08:52.425 --> 00:08:53.960
  • ANOTHER DAY I DIDN'T KNOW THISWAS GONNA BE NUMB.
  • 00:08:53.960 --> 00:08:55.028
  • WAS GONNA BE NUMB.ANOTHER DAY I DIDN'T KNOW THAT
  • 00:08:55.028 --> 00:08:56.729
  • ANOTHER DAY I DIDN'T KNOW THATTHIS WAS THE PAIN I WAS GONNA
  • 00:08:56.729 --> 00:08:57.297
  • THIS WAS THE PAIN I WAS GONNAFEEL.
  • 00:08:57.297 --> 00:08:58.665
  • FEEL.ANOTHER DAY I HAD NO IDEA.
  • 00:08:58.665 --> 00:09:00.400
  • ANOTHER DAY I HAD NO IDEA.I KNEW I WOULD MISS HER, BUT I
  • 00:09:00.400 --> 00:09:01.501
  • I KNEW I WOULD MISS HER, BUT IDIDN'T KNOW I WOULD MISS HER
  • 00:09:01.501 --> 00:09:02.769
  • DIDN'T KNOW I WOULD MISS HERWHEN I THOUGHT ABOUT THAT.
  • 00:09:02.769 --> 00:09:04.137
  • WHEN I THOUGHT ABOUT THAT.OR I DIDN'T KNOW THAT THERE WAS
  • 00:09:04.137 --> 00:09:05.038
  • OR I DIDN'T KNOW THAT THERE WASSOMETHING I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT
  • 00:09:05.038 --> 00:09:05.705
  • SOMETHING I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUTTHIS.
  • 00:09:05.705 --> 00:09:09.576
  • THIS.AND IN THE CHAOS, THE AFTERMATH
  • 00:09:09.576 --> 00:09:11.945
  • AND IN THE CHAOS, THE AFTERMATHOF LOSS AND GRIEF, SAYING, IT'S
  • 00:09:11.945 --> 00:09:13.913
  • OF LOSS AND GRIEF, SAYING, IT'SOKAY FOR ME NOT TO KNOW AND IT'S
  • 00:09:13.913 --> 00:09:16.115
  • OKAY FOR ME NOT TO KNOW AND IT'SOKAY FOR THOSE EMOTIONS THAT
  • 00:09:16.115 --> 00:09:17.817
  • OKAY FOR THOSE EMOTIONS THATCOME ALONG WITH THE TRAUMA OF
  • 00:09:17.817 --> 00:09:19.986
  • COME ALONG WITH THE TRAUMA OFLOSS TO ARREST ME WHEN I LEAST
  • 00:09:19.986 --> 00:09:22.822
  • LOSS TO ARREST ME WHEN I LEASTEXPECT IT AND IF I'M CRYING IN
  • 00:09:22.822 --> 00:09:24.057
  • EXPECT IT AND IF I'M CRYING INTHE MIDDLE OF A THING I'M DOING
  • 00:09:24.057 --> 00:09:25.825
  • THE MIDDLE OF A THING I'M DOINGONLINE OR IF TODAY I CAN'T
  • 00:09:25.825 --> 00:09:27.527
  • ONLINE OR IF TODAY I CAN'TFUNCTION AND I'M TELLING MY
  • 00:09:27.527 --> 00:09:28.928
  • FUNCTION AND I'M TELLING MYCHILDREN I REALLY MISS MY MOM
  • 00:09:28.928 --> 00:09:30.229
  • CHILDREN I REALLY MISS MY MOMTODAY, BUT THAT'S OKAY.
  • 00:09:30.229 --> 00:09:31.164
  • TODAY, BUT THAT'S OKAY.AND I THINK A PART OF THE TRAUMA
  • 00:09:31.164 --> 00:09:34.534
  • AND I THINK A PART OF THE TRAUMAOF LOSS IS SAYING, MAN, THIS
  • 00:09:34.534 --> 00:09:38.037
  • OF LOSS IS SAYING, MAN, THISHURTS AND IT HURTS ME IN WAYS I
  • 00:09:38.037 --> 00:09:40.406
  • HURTS AND IT HURTS ME IN WAYS INEVER COULD HAVE ANTICIPATED OR
  • 00:09:40.406 --> 00:09:44.611
  • NEVER COULD HAVE ANTICIPATED OREXPECTED, BUT BEING LOST IN THE
  • 00:09:44.611 --> 00:09:47.280
  • EXPECTED, BUT BEING LOST IN THEMIDDLE OF THE LOSS IS OKAY.
  • 00:09:47.280 --> 00:09:49.682
  • MIDDLE OF THE LOSS IS OKAY.IT'S OKAY.
  • 00:09:49.682 --> 00:09:50.650
  • IT'S OKAY.AND ME LEARNING HOW TO DEAL WITH
  • 00:09:50.650 --> 00:09:52.085
  • AND ME LEARNING HOW TO DEAL WITHALL THE UNEXPECTED THINGS THAT
  • 00:09:52.085 --> 00:09:54.387
  • ALL THE UNEXPECTED THINGS THATCOME WITH IT IS A PROCESS, AND
  • 00:09:54.387 --> 00:09:56.656
  • COME WITH IT IS A PROCESS, ANDTHAT'S OKAY.
  • 00:09:56.656 --> 00:09:58.358
  • THAT'S OKAY.AS I LEARN WHAT THE NEW FILING
  • 00:09:58.358 --> 00:09:59.025
  • AS I LEARN WHAT THE NEW FILINGSYSTEM IS.
  • 00:09:59.025 --> 00:10:01.127
  • SYSTEM IS.ONE OF THE THINGS I'VE HAD TO
  • 00:10:01.127 --> 00:10:02.362
  • ONE OF THE THINGS I'VE HAD TOLEARN AND I LOVE THAT ANALOGY,
  • 00:10:02.362 --> 00:10:03.930
  • LEARN AND I LOVE THAT ANALOGY,ONE OF THE THINGS I'VE HAD TO
  • 00:10:03.930 --> 00:10:07.900
  • ONE OF THE THINGS I'VE HAD TOLEARN IS THAT MY INITIAL GO TO,
  • 00:10:07.900 --> 00:10:09.535
  • LEARN IS THAT MY INITIAL GO TO,LIKE I SAID WAS, FEELING ROBBED.
  • 00:10:09.535 --> 00:10:10.403
  • LIKE I SAID WAS, FEELING ROBBED.SO I'M HAVING TO LEARN HOW TO
  • 00:10:10.403 --> 00:10:12.839
  • SO I'M HAVING TO LEARN HOW TOTAKE THAT FEELING, WHICH, IT'S A
  • 00:10:12.839 --> 00:10:15.008
  • TAKE THAT FEELING, WHICH, IT'S AREAL FEELING, BUT TO SAY, EVERY
  • 00:10:15.008 --> 00:10:18.778
  • REAL FEELING, BUT TO SAY, EVERYTIME I FEEL THAT FEELING, I GET
  • 00:10:18.778 --> 00:10:20.813
  • TIME I FEEL THAT FEELING, I GETTO REPLACE IT WITH, BUT MAN,
  • 00:10:20.813 --> 00:10:23.149
  • TO REPLACE IT WITH, BUT MAN,LOOK AT ALL THE STUFF I GOT TO
  • 00:10:23.149 --> 00:10:25.084
  • LOOK AT ALL THE STUFF I GOT TODO.
  • 00:10:25.084 --> 00:10:26.452
  • DO.LOOK AT THE RELATIONSHIP, GREAT
  • 00:10:26.452 --> 00:10:28.354
  • LOOK AT THE RELATIONSHIP, GREATRELATIONSHIP I HAD WITH MY MOM,
  • 00:10:28.354 --> 00:10:29.889
  • RELATIONSHIP I HAD WITH MY MOM,LOOK AT ALL THE THINGS WE DID DO
  • 00:10:29.889 --> 00:10:31.624
  • LOOK AT ALL THE THINGS WE DID DOTOGETHER.
  • 00:10:31.624 --> 00:10:32.725
  • TOGETHER.SHE WAS THERE FOR THE BIRTH OF
  • 00:10:32.725 --> 00:10:33.793
  • SHE WAS THERE FOR THE BIRTH OFALL OF MY CHILDREN.
  • 00:10:33.793 --> 00:10:35.695
  • ALL OF MY CHILDREN.SHE WAS THERE AND ABLE TO SPEAK
  • 00:10:35.695 --> 00:10:36.529
  • SHE WAS THERE AND ABLE TO SPEAKINTO MY LIFE, TO ENCOURAGE ME IN
  • 00:10:36.529 --> 00:10:37.130
  • INTO MY LIFE, TO ENCOURAGE ME INMINISTRY.
  • 00:10:37.130 --> 00:10:40.500
  • MINISTRY.ALL OF THESE THINGS, WE WENT
  • 00:10:40.500 --> 00:10:41.634
  • ALL OF THESE THINGS, WE WENTOFF, JUST SHE AND I, ON SOME
  • 00:10:41.634 --> 00:10:42.602
  • OFF, JUST SHE AND I, ON SOMETRIPS.
  • 00:10:42.602 --> 00:10:43.703
  • TRIPS.WE HAD THE HARD CONVERSATIONS,
  • 00:10:43.703 --> 00:10:45.571
  • WE HAD THE HARD CONVERSATIONS,LIKE, I GOT TO DO A LOT.
  • 00:10:45.571 --> 00:10:47.240
  • LIKE, I GOT TO DO A LOT.BUT THERE'S A NEW FILING SYSTEM
  • 00:10:47.240 --> 00:10:50.743
  • BUT THERE'S A NEW FILING SYSTEMTHAT I'M BUILDING, WHICH IS WHEN
  • 00:10:50.743 --> 00:10:52.178
  • THAT I'M BUILDING, WHICH IS WHENI HAVE A RAW EMOTION TO REPLACE
  • 00:10:52.178 --> 00:10:53.980
  • I HAVE A RAW EMOTION TO REPLACEIT, TO FEEL IT BUT TO REPLACE IT
  • 00:10:53.980 --> 00:10:55.882
  • IT, TO FEEL IT BUT TO REPLACE ITWITH TRUTH AND THAT'S NEW.
  • 00:10:55.882 --> 00:10:58.418
  • WITH TRUTH AND THAT'S NEW.AND I'M NOT BUILT THAT WAY.
  • 00:10:58.418 --> 00:11:00.086
  • AND I'M NOT BUILT THAT WAY.I'M NOT A GLASS HALF FULL KIND
  • 00:11:00.086 --> 00:11:01.087
  • I'M NOT A GLASS HALF FULL KINDOF PERSON.
  • 00:11:01.087 --> 00:11:02.155
  • OF PERSON.I'M ALWAYS GONNA SEE WHAT'S
  • 00:11:02.155 --> 00:11:03.823
  • I'M ALWAYS GONNA SEE WHAT'SWRONG, SO IT'S ALLOWING ME TO
  • 00:11:03.823 --> 00:11:05.591
  • WRONG, SO IT'S ALLOWING ME TOCREATE NEW SLOTS FOR NEW EMOTION
  • 00:11:05.591 --> 00:11:08.327
  • CREATE NEW SLOTS FOR NEW EMOTIONAND TO ATTACH NEW THOUGHTS AND
  • 00:11:08.327 --> 00:11:10.630
  • AND TO ATTACH NEW THOUGHTS ANDPROCESS WITHIN IT SLOWLY AND I
  • 00:11:10.630 --> 00:11:12.465
  • PROCESS WITHIN IT SLOWLY AND ITHINK WE HAVE TO GIVE OURSELVES
  • 00:11:12.465 --> 00:11:15.702
  • THINK WE HAVE TO GIVE OURSELVESGRACE TO DO ALL OF THIS SLOWLY.
  • 00:11:15.702 --> 00:11:19.572
  • GRACE TO DO ALL OF THIS SLOWLY.IT'S OKAY TO TAKE YOUR TIME.
  • 00:11:19.572 --> 00:11:21.541
  • IT'S OKAY TO TAKE YOUR TIME.- Sheila: THAT'S SO RAW AND SO
  • 00:11:21.541 --> 00:11:22.942
  • - Sheila: THAT'S SO RAW AND SOREAL, CHRYSTAL.
  • 00:11:22.942 --> 00:11:24.777
  • REAL, CHRYSTAL.I THINK THAT'S A GIFT.
  • 00:11:24.777 --> 00:11:26.779
  • I THINK THAT'S A GIFT.THANK YOU.
  • 00:11:26.779 --> 00:11:28.147
  • THANK YOU.IT'S A GIFT TO BE ABLE TO SAY TO
  • 00:11:28.147 --> 00:11:31.050
  • IT'S A GIFT TO BE ABLE TO SAY TOOTHER PEOPLE THIS IS NOT OKAY.
  • 00:11:31.050 --> 00:11:32.618
  • OTHER PEOPLE THIS IS NOT OKAY.SO OFTEN WE FEEL WITHIN THE
  • 00:11:32.618 --> 00:11:34.153
  • SO OFTEN WE FEEL WITHIN THECHRISTIAN COMMUNITY THAT WE HAVE
  • 00:11:34.153 --> 00:11:35.722
  • CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY THAT WE HAVETO BE OKAY.
  • 00:11:35.722 --> 00:11:37.156
  • TO BE OKAY.THAT WE HAVE TO SOMEHOW BE LIKE
  • 00:11:37.156 --> 00:11:39.625
  • THAT WE HAVE TO SOMEHOW BE LIKEPR AGENTS FOR GOD.
  • 00:11:39.625 --> 00:11:42.895
  • PR AGENTS FOR GOD.WHICH WE DON'T HAVE TO DO.
  • 00:11:42.895 --> 00:11:44.664
  • WHICH WE DON'T HAVE TO DO.AND FOR ME IN MY OWN LIFE, IT'S
  • 00:11:44.664 --> 00:11:47.533
  • AND FOR ME IN MY OWN LIFE, IT'SLIKE REALIZING THAT SCARS ARE
  • 00:11:47.533 --> 00:11:49.102
  • LIKE REALIZING THAT SCARS AREPROOF THAT GOD HEALS.
  • 00:11:49.102 --> 00:11:49.802
  • PROOF THAT GOD HEALS.THERE'S A DIFFERENT BETWEEN A
  • 00:11:49.802 --> 00:11:55.341
  • THERE'S A DIFFERENT BETWEEN AWOUND AND A SCAR.
  • 00:11:55.341 --> 00:11:56.175
  • WOUND AND A SCAR.I HAD A REALLY OPEN WOUND FOR
  • 00:11:56.175 --> 00:11:58.344
  • I HAD A REALLY OPEN WOUND FORYEARS AFTER MY FATHER COMMITTED
  • 00:11:58.344 --> 00:12:00.146
  • YEARS AFTER MY FATHER COMMITTEDSUICIDE.
  • 00:12:00.146 --> 00:12:00.980
  • SUICIDE.AND THERE WERE SO MANY THINGS I
  • 00:12:00.980 --> 00:12:04.050
  • AND THERE WERE SO MANY THINGS ITHOUGHT, GOD, HE LOVED YOU.
  • 00:12:04.050 --> 00:12:06.352
  • THOUGHT, GOD, HE LOVED YOU.HE SERVED YOU.
  • 00:12:06.352 --> 00:12:08.721
  • HE SERVED YOU.WHEN HE SANG SOMETIMES PEOPLE
  • 00:12:08.721 --> 00:12:11.491
  • WHEN HE SANG SOMETIMES PEOPLEWOULD GIVE THEIR LIVES TO YOU
  • 00:12:11.491 --> 00:12:13.126
  • WOULD GIVE THEIR LIVES TO YOUBECAUSE THERE WAS SUCH AN
  • 00:12:13.126 --> 00:12:14.527
  • BECAUSE THERE WAS SUCH ANANOINTING IN MY FATHER'S LIFE.
  • 00:12:14.527 --> 00:12:16.496
  • ANOINTING IN MY FATHER'S LIFE.WHY WEREN'T YOU THERE WHEN HE
  • 00:12:16.496 --> 00:12:18.164
  • WHY WEREN'T YOU THERE WHEN HEWENT THROUGH ALL OF THAT?
  • 00:12:18.164 --> 00:12:19.732
  • WENT THROUGH ALL OF THAT?AND KNOWING THAT HE WOULD NEVER
  • 00:12:19.732 --> 00:12:22.034
  • AND KNOWING THAT HE WOULD NEVERWALK ME DOWN THE AISLE.
  • 00:12:22.034 --> 00:12:24.036
  • WALK ME DOWN THE AISLE.I ALWAYS-- PEOPLE HAVE A HARD
  • 00:12:24.036 --> 00:12:25.171
  • I ALWAYS-- PEOPLE HAVE A HARDTIME WITH SOME OF THIS STUFF
  • 00:12:25.171 --> 00:12:26.038
  • TIME WITH SOME OF THIS STUFFBECAUSE THEY THINK, YOU LIKE
  • 00:12:26.038 --> 00:12:26.939
  • BECAUSE THEY THINK, YOU LIKEFINE.
  • 00:12:26.939 --> 00:12:28.274
  • FINE.BUT I FELT REALLY UGLY GROWING
  • 00:12:28.274 --> 00:12:29.575
  • BUT I FELT REALLY UGLY GROWINGUP.
  • 00:12:29.575 --> 00:12:30.676
  • UP.I WAS ONE OF THOSE KIDS THAT-- I
  • 00:12:30.676 --> 00:12:32.612
  • I WAS ONE OF THOSE KIDS THAT-- IHAD GREASY HAIR AND I HAD BAD
  • 00:12:32.612 --> 00:12:34.747
  • HAD GREASY HAIR AND I HAD BADSKIN.
  • 00:12:34.747 --> 00:12:35.882
  • SKIN.WHICH IS GOOD NOW, BECAUSE NOW
  • 00:12:35.882 --> 00:12:37.583
  • WHICH IS GOOD NOW, BECAUSE NOWTHAT I'M 60, MY SKIN'S BETTER.
  • 00:12:37.583 --> 00:12:40.052
  • THAT I'M 60, MY SKIN'S BETTER.BUT, YOU KNOW, IN THE YEARS I
  • 00:12:40.052 --> 00:12:41.020
  • BUT, YOU KNOW, IN THE YEARS INEEDED IT TO BE BETTER IT
  • 00:12:41.020 --> 00:12:42.021
  • NEEDED IT TO BE BETTER ITWASN'T.
  • 00:12:42.021 --> 00:12:45.224
  • WASN'T.I HAD SUCH A HARD TIME.
  • 00:12:45.224 --> 00:12:45.992
  • I HAD SUCH A HARD TIME.I DON'T THINK-- I DIDN'T DATE
  • 00:12:45.992 --> 00:12:46.959
  • I DON'T THINK-- I DIDN'T DATEMUCH ALL THE WAY THROUGH COLLEGE
  • 00:12:46.959 --> 00:12:47.727
  • MUCH ALL THE WAY THROUGH COLLEGEBECAUSE I JUST FELT SO BAD ABOUT
  • 00:12:47.727 --> 00:12:49.729
  • BECAUSE I JUST FELT SO BAD ABOUTMYSELF.
  • 00:12:49.729 --> 00:12:52.064
  • MYSELF.AND I THOUGHT, IF MY DAD HAD
  • 00:12:52.064 --> 00:12:52.799
  • AND I THOUGHT, IF MY DAD HADBEEN HERE, HE WOULD HAVE TOLD
  • 00:12:52.799 --> 00:12:55.401
  • BEEN HERE, HE WOULD HAVE TOLDME, NO, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.
  • 00:12:55.401 --> 00:12:57.069
  • ME, NO, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.BUT AS I LEARNED TO PROCESS ALL
  • 00:12:57.069 --> 00:12:58.171
  • BUT AS I LEARNED TO PROCESS ALLTHAT PAIN IN GOD'S PRESENCE,
  • 00:12:58.171 --> 00:12:59.972
  • THAT PAIN IN GOD'S PRESENCE,IT'S NOT AN OPEN WOUND ANYMORE.
  • 00:12:59.972 --> 00:13:01.541
  • IT'S NOT AN OPEN WOUND ANYMORE.IT'S A SCAR.
  • 00:13:01.541 --> 00:13:03.743
  • IT'S A SCAR.AND TO ME A SCAR IS PROOF THAT
  • 00:13:03.743 --> 00:13:05.444
  • AND TO ME A SCAR IS PROOF THATGOD HEALS.
  • 00:13:05.444 --> 00:13:06.712
  • GOD HEALS.IT DOESN'T HURT AS MUCH ANYMORE.
  • 00:13:06.712 --> 00:13:07.713
  • IT DOESN'T HURT AS MUCH ANYMORE.IT'S STILL THERE.
  • 00:13:07.713 --> 00:13:09.448
  • IT'S STILL THERE.YOU SEE IT.
  • 00:13:09.448 --> 00:13:10.483
  • YOU SEE IT.BUT I OFTEN THINK OF THE FACT
  • 00:13:10.483 --> 00:13:13.419
  • BUT I OFTEN THINK OF THE FACTTHAT CHRIST COULD HAVE CHOSEN TO
  • 00:13:13.419 --> 00:13:14.720
  • THAT CHRIST COULD HAVE CHOSEN TORISE FROM THE DEAD AND NOT ONLY
  • 00:13:14.720 --> 00:13:16.789
  • RISE FROM THE DEAD AND NOT ONLYLEAVE THE CLOTHS HE WAS WRAPPED
  • 00:13:16.789 --> 00:13:19.058
  • LEAVE THE CLOTHS HE WAS WRAPPEDIN IN THE TOMB, HE COULD HAVE
  • 00:13:19.058 --> 00:13:20.359
  • IN IN THE TOMB, HE COULD HAVELEFT THE SCARS AS WELL.
  • 00:13:20.359 --> 00:13:21.627
  • LEFT THE SCARS AS WELL.BUT HE DIDN'T.
  • 00:13:21.627 --> 00:13:22.361
  • BUT HE DIDN'T.HE KEPT THE MARKS OF
  • 00:13:22.361 --> 00:13:24.764
  • HE KEPT THE MARKS OFCRUCIFIXION.
  • 00:13:24.764 --> 00:13:26.732
  • CRUCIFIXION.IN OUR ETERNAL HOME, TO ME THE
  • 00:13:26.732 --> 00:13:29.135
  • IN OUR ETERNAL HOME, TO ME THEONLY SIGNS OF HUMAN PAIN WILL
  • 00:13:29.135 --> 00:13:31.971
  • ONLY SIGNS OF HUMAN PAIN WILLSTILL BE THE SCARS OF CHRIST.
  • 00:13:31.971 --> 00:13:34.040
  • STILL BE THE SCARS OF CHRIST.AND I THINK IF HE'S OUR
  • 00:13:34.040 --> 00:13:36.342
  • AND I THINK IF HE'S OURSHEPHERD.
  • 00:13:36.342 --> 00:13:37.076
  • SHEPHERD.IF HE IS THE ONE THAT'S GONNA
  • 00:13:37.076 --> 00:13:38.110
  • IF HE IS THE ONE THAT'S GONNAWALK YOU AND ME ALL THE WAY
  • 00:13:38.110 --> 00:13:39.712
  • WALK YOU AND ME ALL THE WAYHOME.
  • 00:13:39.712 --> 00:13:41.180
  • HOME.AND HE CHOSE TO KEEP THESE
  • 00:13:41.180 --> 00:13:43.149
  • AND HE CHOSE TO KEEP THESESCARS.
  • 00:13:43.149 --> 00:13:44.317
  • SCARS.THEN WE CAN LEARN TO BRING OUR
  • 00:13:44.317 --> 00:13:46.185
  • THEN WE CAN LEARN TO BRING OURWOUNDS TO HIM.
  • 00:13:46.185 --> 00:13:47.887
  • WOUNDS TO HIM.AND OVER TIME ALLOW HIM TO BRING
  • 00:13:47.887 --> 00:13:50.156
  • AND OVER TIME ALLOW HIM TO BRINGENOUGH HEALING.
  • 00:13:50.156 --> 00:13:51.324
  • ENOUGH HEALING.I WAS SPEAKING AT A WOMAN'S
  • 00:13:51.324 --> 00:13:53.059
  • I WAS SPEAKING AT A WOMAN'SCONFERENCE BACK WHEN WE COULD
  • 00:13:53.059 --> 00:13:53.659
  • CONFERENCE BACK WHEN WE COULDSTILL SPEAK AT WOMEN'S
  • 00:13:53.659 --> 00:13:54.894
  • STILL SPEAK AT WOMEN'SCONFERENCES.
  • 00:13:54.894 --> 00:13:56.729
  • CONFERENCES.I NOTICED THERE WAS ONE
  • 00:13:56.729 --> 00:13:58.197
  • I NOTICED THERE WAS ONEGENTLEMAN IN THE AUDIENCE.
  • 00:13:58.197 --> 00:13:59.298
  • GENTLEMAN IN THE AUDIENCE.I WONDERED IF HE WAS MAYBE THE
  • 00:13:59.298 --> 00:14:00.766
  • I WONDERED IF HE WAS MAYBE THEPASTOR AND HE JUST WANTED TO
  • 00:14:00.766 --> 00:14:01.467
  • PASTOR AND HE JUST WANTED TOHEAR WHAT I WAS SHARING WITH
  • 00:14:01.467 --> 00:14:02.702
  • HEAR WHAT I WAS SHARING WITHTHESE WOMEN.
  • 00:14:02.702 --> 00:14:03.903
  • THESE WOMEN.BUT AT THE END WHEN EVERYTHING
  • 00:14:03.903 --> 00:14:04.837
  • BUT AT THE END WHEN EVERYTHINGWAS OVER AND EVERYONE ELSE HAD
  • 00:14:04.837 --> 00:14:06.439
  • WAS OVER AND EVERYONE ELSE HADGONE HOME, HE WAS STILL THERE
  • 00:14:06.439 --> 00:14:07.740
  • GONE HOME, HE WAS STILL THEREAND HE WAS STANDING WITH A
  • 00:14:07.740 --> 00:14:09.041
  • AND HE WAS STANDING WITH ABEAUTIFUL YOUNG GIRL WHICH I
  • 00:14:09.041 --> 00:14:09.842
  • BEAUTIFUL YOUNG GIRL WHICH ILEARNED WAS HIS DAUGHTER.
  • 00:14:09.842 --> 00:14:11.143
  • LEARNED WAS HIS DAUGHTER.HE CAME OVER TO ME AND HE TURNED
  • 00:14:11.143 --> 00:14:12.111
  • HE CAME OVER TO ME AND HE TURNEDHIS WHOLE FACE.
  • 00:14:12.111 --> 00:14:15.248
  • HIS WHOLE FACE.I SAW HALF OF HIS FACE WAS
  • 00:14:15.248 --> 00:14:19.118
  • I SAW HALF OF HIS FACE WASPRETTY MUCH GONE AND HE SAID TO
  • 00:14:19.118 --> 00:14:20.586
  • PRETTY MUCH GONE AND HE SAID TOME THAT WHEN HE WAS 15 YEARS OLD
  • 00:14:20.586 --> 00:14:22.255
  • ME THAT WHEN HE WAS 15 YEARS OLDHE WAS GOING THROUGH A TIME OF
  • 00:14:22.255 --> 00:14:24.557
  • HE WAS GOING THROUGH A TIME OFINCREDIBLE AGONY AND SUICIDAL
  • 00:14:24.557 --> 00:14:26.125
  • INCREDIBLE AGONY AND SUICIDALDESPAIR, AND HE TOOK A GUN AND
  • 00:14:26.125 --> 00:14:27.994
  • DESPAIR, AND HE TOOK A GUN ANDHE PUT IT UNDER HIS CHIN AND HE
  • 00:14:27.994 --> 00:14:29.295
  • HE PUT IT UNDER HIS CHIN AND HESAID IN THAT MILLISECOND BETWEEN
  • 00:14:29.295 --> 00:14:31.397
  • SAID IN THAT MILLISECOND BETWEENWHEN HIS FINGER PRESSED THE
  • 00:14:31.397 --> 00:14:32.531
  • WHEN HIS FINGER PRESSED THETRIGGER AND THE BULLET WENT INTO
  • 00:14:32.531 --> 00:14:35.001
  • TRIGGER AND THE BULLET WENT INTOHIS BRAIN, HE HEARD CHRIST SAY,
  • 00:14:35.001 --> 00:14:37.436
  • HIS BRAIN, HE HEARD CHRIST SAY,DO YOU WANT TO LIVE?
  • 00:14:37.436 --> 00:14:41.274
  • DO YOU WANT TO LIVE?AND HE SAID, YES.
  • 00:14:41.274 --> 00:14:42.041
  • AND HE SAID, YES.AND HE IS NOW MARRIED WITH THREE
  • 00:14:42.041 --> 00:14:42.642
  • AND HE IS NOW MARRIED WITH THREECHILDREN.
  • 00:14:42.642 --> 00:14:43.809
  • CHILDREN.I ASKED HIM THIS.
  • 00:14:43.809 --> 00:14:45.444
  • I ASKED HIM THIS.I SAID, WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE
  • 00:14:45.444 --> 00:14:46.879
  • I SAID, WHEN YOU LOOK IN THEMIRROR, IS THAT A DAILY REMINDER
  • 00:14:46.879 --> 00:14:49.682
  • MIRROR, IS THAT A DAILY REMINDEROF A PROCHOICE YOU MADE?
  • 00:14:49.682 --> 00:14:52.385
  • OF A PROCHOICE YOU MADE?HE SAID, NO, NO, SHEILA.
  • 00:14:52.385 --> 00:14:53.152
  • HE SAID, NO, NO, SHEILA.MY SCARS ARE A DAILY REMINDER OF
  • 00:14:53.152 --> 00:14:55.454
  • MY SCARS ARE A DAILY REMINDER OFTHE GRACE OF GOD.
  • 00:14:55.454 --> 00:14:57.089
  • THE GRACE OF GOD.I HAVE THIS LIFE.
  • 00:14:57.089 --> 00:14:58.157
  • I HAVE THIS LIFE.AND NOW HE SPENDS HIS WHOLE LIFE
  • 00:14:58.157 --> 00:15:00.426
  • AND NOW HE SPENDS HIS WHOLE LIFEMINISTERING TO TEENAGERS WHO ARE
  • 00:15:00.426 --> 00:15:01.727
  • MINISTERING TO TEENAGERS WHO ARESTRUGGLING WITH MENTAL ILLNESS.
  • 00:15:01.727 --> 00:15:05.464
  • STRUGGLING WITH MENTAL ILLNESS.THERE'S SOMETHING REDEMPTIVE,
  • 00:15:05.464 --> 00:15:06.933
  • THERE'S SOMETHING REDEMPTIVE,EVERYTHING ABOUT GOD IS
  • 00:15:06.933 --> 00:15:08.467
  • EVERYTHING ABOUT GOD ISREDEMPTIVE.
  • 00:15:08.467 --> 00:15:10.102
  • REDEMPTIVE.BUT THERE'S SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL
  • 00:15:10.102 --> 00:15:11.404
  • BUT THERE'S SOMETHING BEAUTIFULHE WILL DO WITH OUR WOUNDS.
  • 00:15:11.404 --> 00:15:13.072
  • HE WILL DO WITH OUR WOUNDS.AND WHEN THEY BECOME SCARS THEY
  • 00:15:13.072 --> 00:15:14.140
  • AND WHEN THEY BECOME SCARS THEYARE PROOF TO OTHER PEOPLE THAT
  • 00:15:14.140 --> 00:15:16.709
  • ARE PROOF TO OTHER PEOPLE THATGOD HEALS.
  • 00:15:16.709 --> 00:15:21.580
  • GOD HEALS.- Laurie: THAT IS SO GOOD.
  • 00:15:21.580 --> 00:15:24.116
  • - Laurie: THAT IS SO GOOD.THAT IS A PARADIGM SHIFT OF YOUR
  • 00:15:24.116 --> 00:15:26.719
  • THAT IS A PARADIGM SHIFT OF YOURMIND AND OF YOUR THINKING OF THE
  • 00:15:26.719 --> 00:15:29.188
  • MIND AND OF YOUR THINKING OF THEGRATEFULNESS THAT COMES OUT AT
  • 00:15:29.188 --> 00:15:31.357
  • GRATEFULNESS THAT COMES OUT ATTIMES LIKE THAT.
  • 00:15:31.357 --> 00:15:33.225
  • TIMES LIKE THAT.WHEN YOU HEAR ABOUT A LOSS LIKE
  • 00:15:33.225 --> 00:15:36.028
  • WHEN YOU HEAR ABOUT A LOSS LIKEKAYLA, THAT COULD JUST RIP MY
  • 00:15:36.028 --> 00:15:39.832
  • KAYLA, THAT COULD JUST RIP MYHEART OUT, OR A LOSS OF A CHILD,
  • 00:15:39.832 --> 00:15:42.001
  • HEART OUT, OR A LOSS OF A CHILD,YOU THINK OF WHAT'S MISSING NOW,
  • 00:15:42.001 --> 00:15:46.205
  • YOU THINK OF WHAT'S MISSING NOW,BUT THEN TO TURN THAT AROUND AND
  • 00:15:46.205 --> 00:15:49.475
  • BUT THEN TO TURN THAT AROUND ANDTO BE GRATEFUL FOR THE TWO YEARS
  • 00:15:49.475 --> 00:15:51.477
  • TO BE GRATEFUL FOR THE TWO YEARSTHAT I HAD WITH THAT BABY OR THE
  • 00:15:51.477 --> 00:15:53.412
  • THAT I HAD WITH THAT BABY OR THEFEW MONTHS THAT THAT BABY GOT TO
  • 00:15:53.412 --> 00:15:54.847
  • FEW MONTHS THAT THAT BABY GOT TOCHANGE MY LIFE AND NOW HE'S WITH
  • 00:15:54.847 --> 00:15:56.749
  • CHANGE MY LIFE AND NOW HE'S WITHTHE LORD, THAT KIND OF STUFF IS
  • 00:15:56.749 --> 00:16:00.019
  • THE LORD, THAT KIND OF STUFF ISGOD'S GRACE FOR THE TIME WHEN WE
  • 00:16:00.019 --> 00:16:01.354
  • GOD'S GRACE FOR THE TIME WHEN WENEED IT, THAT'S GOD'S GRACE FOR
  • 00:16:01.354 --> 00:16:02.421
  • NEED IT, THAT'S GOD'S GRACE FORTHE DAY.
  • 00:16:02.421 --> 00:16:06.192
  • THE DAY.AND ALL OF THAT.
  • 00:16:06.192 --> 00:16:08.561
  • AND ALL OF THAT.BUT, THE OTHER DAY I WAS
  • 00:16:08.561 --> 00:16:09.862
  • BUT, THE OTHER DAY I WASTHINKING ABOUT SOMETHING, JUST
  • 00:16:09.862 --> 00:16:11.464
  • THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING, JUSTMY ONLY PERSONAL LIFE, NO BIG
  • 00:16:11.464 --> 00:16:12.331
  • MY ONLY PERSONAL LIFE, NO BIGDEAL.
  • 00:16:12.331 --> 00:16:13.766
  • DEAL.IT WAS SOMETHING I WANTED TO DO.
  • 00:16:13.766 --> 00:16:17.703
  • IT WAS SOMETHING I WANTED TO DO.SOMETHING THAT I CAN'T DO THAT I
  • 00:16:17.703 --> 00:16:18.904
  • SOMETHING THAT I CAN'T DO THAT IWOULD LOVE TO DO.
  • 00:16:18.904 --> 00:16:20.373
  • WOULD LOVE TO DO.SO I MIGHT AS WELL GET REAL
  • 00:16:20.373 --> 00:16:21.707
  • SO I MIGHT AS WELL GET REALSINCE WE DO THAT ON "BETTER
  • 00:16:21.707 --> 00:16:22.375
  • SINCE WE DO THAT ON "BETTERTOGETHER."
  • 00:16:22.375 --> 00:16:25.277
  • TOGETHER."I LOVE TO PLAY THE PIANO.
  • 00:16:25.277 --> 00:16:27.146
  • I LOVE TO PLAY THE PIANO.AND I'VE GOT THIS BEAUTIFUL
  • 00:16:27.146 --> 00:16:28.247
  • AND I'VE GOT THIS BEAUTIFULPIANO MY HUSBAND BOUGHT ME YEARS
  • 00:16:28.247 --> 00:16:30.783
  • PIANO MY HUSBAND BOUGHT ME YEARSAGO.
  • 00:16:30.783 --> 00:16:32.051
  • AGO.AND I WILL NOT PLAY THAT PIANO
  • 00:16:32.051 --> 00:16:32.985
  • AND I WILL NOT PLAY THAT PIANOIN FRONT OF ANYBODY BUT MY
  • 00:16:32.985 --> 00:16:34.020
  • IN FRONT OF ANYBODY BUT MYCHILDREN AND MY HUSBAND.
  • 00:16:34.020 --> 00:16:34.954
  • CHILDREN AND MY HUSBAND.IF THEY ARE IN THE HOUSE, IT'S
  • 00:16:34.954 --> 00:16:36.155
  • IF THEY ARE IN THE HOUSE, IT'SALL RIGHT.
  • 00:16:36.155 --> 00:16:39.992
  • ALL RIGHT.BUT I JUST-- THERE IS LIKE, ALL
  • 00:16:39.992 --> 00:16:43.396
  • BUT I JUST-- THERE IS LIKE, ALLOF MY FAMILY, THERE ARE THESE
  • 00:16:43.396 --> 00:16:47.733
  • OF MY FAMILY, THERE ARE THESEAMAZING MUSICIANS.
  • 00:16:47.733 --> 00:16:49.535
  • AMAZING MUSICIANS.AND MY BROTHER CAN PICK UP ANY
  • 00:16:49.535 --> 00:16:52.171
  • AND MY BROTHER CAN PICK UP ANYMUSICAL INSTRUMENTS AND PLAY IT.
  • 00:16:52.171 --> 00:16:54.206
  • MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS AND PLAY IT.IT'S NATURAL FOR HIM.
  • 00:16:54.206 --> 00:16:58.711
  • IT'S NATURAL FOR HIM.AND I AM THE FRUSTRATED LITTLE
  • 00:16:58.711 --> 00:17:00.179
  • AND I AM THE FRUSTRATED LITTLESISTER WHO JUST SEEMS LIKE
  • 00:17:00.179 --> 00:17:02.248
  • SISTER WHO JUST SEEMS LIKETHERE'S A LITTLE SWITCH IN MY
  • 00:17:02.248 --> 00:17:03.416
  • THERE'S A LITTLE SWITCH IN MYBRAIN THAT HAS NOT EVER FLIPPED.
  • 00:17:03.416 --> 00:17:05.418
  • BRAIN THAT HAS NOT EVER FLIPPED.DOES ANYBODY EVER DO THAT?
  • 00:17:05.418 --> 00:17:07.953
  • DOES ANYBODY EVER DO THAT?I JUST DON'T GET IT BUT I CAN
  • 00:17:07.953 --> 00:17:10.423
  • I JUST DON'T GET IT BUT I CANPLAY A LITTLE BIT BUT I CAN'T
  • 00:17:10.423 --> 00:17:13.059
  • PLAY A LITTLE BIT BUT I CAN'TREAD MUSIC, GOD HELP ME.
  • 00:17:13.059 --> 00:17:15.428
  • READ MUSIC, GOD HELP ME.BUT THAT'S ONE DESIRE THAT I
  • 00:17:15.428 --> 00:17:17.963
  • BUT THAT'S ONE DESIRE THAT IJUST WISH-- THE OTHER DAY, I'M
  • 00:17:17.963 --> 00:17:19.698
  • JUST WISH-- THE OTHER DAY, I'MTHINKING ABOUT IT AND I'M GOING
  • 00:17:19.698 --> 00:17:21.901
  • THINKING ABOUT IT AND I'M GOINGON MY MERRY WAY AND THE LORD
  • 00:17:21.901 --> 00:17:22.701
  • ON MY MERRY WAY AND THE LORDSAYS, YOU'VE NEVER ASKED ME TO
  • 00:17:22.701 --> 00:17:26.272
  • SAYS, YOU'VE NEVER ASKED ME TOHELP YOU.
  • 00:17:26.272 --> 00:17:29.008
  • HELP YOU.AND I THOUGHT, THAT WOULD SOUND
  • 00:17:29.008 --> 00:17:30.309
  • AND I THOUGHT, THAT WOULD SOUNDFUNNY THAT MAYBE I WOULD ASK YOU
  • 00:17:30.309 --> 00:17:32.244
  • FUNNY THAT MAYBE I WOULD ASK YOUTO HELP ME PLAY THE PIANO OR
  • 00:17:32.244 --> 00:17:34.513
  • TO HELP ME PLAY THE PIANO ORHELP THAT SWITCH FLIP.
  • 00:17:34.513 --> 00:17:35.347
  • HELP THAT SWITCH FLIP.HE SAID YOU HAVE NOT BECAUSE YOU
  • 00:17:35.347 --> 00:17:36.215
  • HE SAID YOU HAVE NOT BECAUSE YOUASK NOT.
  • 00:17:36.215 --> 00:17:37.450
  • ASK NOT.WE HEAR THAT SO MUCH.
  • 00:17:37.450 --> 00:17:41.720
  • WE HEAR THAT SO MUCH.BUT I THINK THAT THAT SCRIPTURE
  • 00:17:41.720 --> 00:17:46.759
  • BUT I THINK THAT THAT SCRIPTUREIN THESE AREAS OF GOD ASKING GOD
  • 00:17:46.759 --> 00:17:49.862
  • IN THESE AREAS OF GOD ASKING GODTO COME IN AND TO FILL THOSE
  • 00:17:49.862 --> 00:17:51.330
  • TO COME IN AND TO FILL THOSEWOUNDS, FILL THOSE EMPTY PLACES
  • 00:17:51.330 --> 00:17:54.967
  • WOUNDS, FILL THOSE EMPTY PLACESIN OUR LIVES WHERE, MAN, THERE
  • 00:17:54.967 --> 00:17:58.437
  • IN OUR LIVES WHERE, MAN, THEREIS A LOSS, THERE IS WOUND THAT'S
  • 00:17:58.437 --> 00:17:59.939
  • IS A LOSS, THERE IS WOUND THAT'STHE SIZE OF TEXAS AND TO ASK FOR
  • 00:17:59.939 --> 00:18:04.710
  • THE SIZE OF TEXAS AND TO ASK FORGOD'S HELP AND TO ASK FOR HIM TO
  • 00:18:04.710 --> 00:18:07.113
  • GOD'S HELP AND TO ASK FOR HIM TOFILL THOSE WOUNDS.
  • 00:18:07.113 --> 00:18:11.417
  • FILL THOSE WOUNDS.LESLIE, YOU KNOW, WE'RE TALKING
  • 00:18:11.417 --> 00:18:13.953
  • LESLIE, YOU KNOW, WE'RE TALKINGABOUT TRAUMA AND RECOVERY TODAY.
  • 00:18:13.953 --> 00:18:16.722
  • ABOUT TRAUMA AND RECOVERY TODAY.WHAT SHOULD WE EXPECT DURING A
  • 00:18:16.722 --> 00:18:19.625
  • WHAT SHOULD WE EXPECT DURING ARECOVERY PROCESS GETTING PAST
  • 00:18:19.625 --> 00:18:23.462
  • RECOVERY PROCESS GETTING PASTTHE TRAUMA AND THE PAIN?
  • 00:18:23.462 --> 00:18:24.230
  • THE TRAUMA AND THE PAIN?- Leslie: WELL, LAURIE, THANK
  • 00:18:24.230 --> 00:18:25.931
  • - Leslie: WELL, LAURIE, THANKYOU FOR YOUR GENUINENESS.
  • 00:18:25.931 --> 00:18:27.299
  • YOU FOR YOUR GENUINENESS.THESE LOSSES.
  • 00:18:27.299 --> 00:18:28.067
  • THESE LOSSES.I'M REELING IN IT.
  • 00:18:28.067 --> 00:18:29.435
  • I'M REELING IN IT.THAT IS LIFE.
  • 00:18:29.435 --> 00:18:31.937
  • THAT IS LIFE.EVERY LIFE HOLDS TRAGEDY.
  • 00:18:31.937 --> 00:18:33.606
  • EVERY LIFE HOLDS TRAGEDY.ONE OF THE THINGS THAT IS SO
  • 00:18:33.606 --> 00:18:34.940
  • ONE OF THE THINGS THAT IS SOHELPFUL TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT
  • 00:18:34.940 --> 00:18:37.643
  • HELPFUL TO UNDERSTAND ABOUTTRAUMA AND THE WAY IT AFFECTS
  • 00:18:37.643 --> 00:18:39.778
  • TRAUMA AND THE WAY IT AFFECTSUS, WE DON'T NECESSARILY FEEL
  • 00:18:39.778 --> 00:18:42.414
  • US, WE DON'T NECESSARILY FEELTHE TRAUMA IN THE MOMENT WHERE
  • 00:18:42.414 --> 00:18:45.251
  • THE TRAUMA IN THE MOMENT WHEREWE ARE BEING WOUNDED.
  • 00:18:45.251 --> 00:18:46.252
  • WE ARE BEING WOUNDED.IN OTHER WORDS, SOMETIMES WE ARE
  • 00:18:46.252 --> 00:18:47.453
  • IN OTHER WORDS, SOMETIMES WE ARESUPER SURPRISED WHEN WE THINK
  • 00:18:47.453 --> 00:18:48.654
  • SUPER SURPRISED WHEN WE THINKWE'VE RECOVERED, WE'VE
  • 00:18:48.654 --> 00:18:50.422
  • WE'VE RECOVERED, WE'VEREGROUPED, WE'VE GONE ON WITH
  • 00:18:50.422 --> 00:18:52.391
  • REGROUPED, WE'VE GONE ON WITHLIFE AND OUT OF THE BLUE
  • 00:18:52.391 --> 00:18:53.859
  • LIFE AND OUT OF THE BLUESOMETHING TRIGGERS US AND ALL OF
  • 00:18:53.859 --> 00:18:54.960
  • SOMETHING TRIGGERS US AND ALL OFA SUDDEN NOW WE'RE FEELING THE
  • 00:18:54.960 --> 00:18:56.228
  • A SUDDEN NOW WE'RE FEELING THETRAUMA.
  • 00:18:56.228 --> 00:18:58.097
  • TRAUMA.WELL, ONE OF THE THINGS THAT GOD
  • 00:18:58.097 --> 00:18:59.832
  • WELL, ONE OF THE THINGS THAT GODHAS GIVEN US IS THE CAPACITY TO
  • 00:18:59.832 --> 00:19:03.602
  • HAS GIVEN US IS THE CAPACITY TOSURVIVE A CRISIS.
  • 00:19:03.602 --> 00:19:04.703
  • SURVIVE A CRISIS.IT IS NOT UNTIL WE'RE MORE WHOLE
  • 00:19:04.703 --> 00:19:07.573
  • IT IS NOT UNTIL WE'RE MORE WHOLEAND SETTLED IN SECURE, JUST LIKE
  • 00:19:07.573 --> 00:19:09.008
  • AND SETTLED IN SECURE, JUST LIKESOLDIERS WHO HAVE BEEN FIGHTING
  • 00:19:09.008 --> 00:19:10.643
  • SOLDIERS WHO HAVE BEEN FIGHTINGAND HAVE HAD TO COMPARTMENTALIZE
  • 00:19:10.643 --> 00:19:11.844
  • AND HAVE HAD TO COMPARTMENTALIZETRAUMA, THEY COME HOME AND IT'S
  • 00:19:11.844 --> 00:19:13.445
  • TRAUMA, THEY COME HOME AND IT'SNOT UNTIL THEY'RE TRULY SAFE
  • 00:19:13.445 --> 00:19:15.648
  • NOT UNTIL THEY'RE TRULY SAFETHAT THEY'RE ABLE TO START
  • 00:19:15.648 --> 00:19:16.882
  • THAT THEY'RE ABLE TO STARTDEALING WITH SOME OF THE
  • 00:19:16.882 --> 00:19:18.250
  • DEALING WITH SOME OF THEHEALING.
  • 00:19:18.250 --> 00:19:19.285
  • HEALING.AND THE SAME THINGS HAPPENS TO
  • 00:19:19.285 --> 00:19:21.187
  • AND THE SAME THINGS HAPPENS TOUS EMOTIONALLY.
  • 00:19:21.187 --> 00:19:22.721
  • US EMOTIONALLY.WE GET SHOCKED THAT OUT OF THE
  • 00:19:22.721 --> 00:19:23.756
  • WE GET SHOCKED THAT OUT OF THEBLUE SOMETHING CAN TRIGGER OUR
  • 00:19:23.756 --> 00:19:24.924
  • BLUE SOMETHING CAN TRIGGER OURTRAUMA.
  • 00:19:24.924 --> 00:19:25.658
  • TRAUMA.WE REALIZE THERE'S A LITTLE PART
  • 00:19:25.658 --> 00:19:26.525
  • WE REALIZE THERE'S A LITTLE PARTIN OUR BRAIN CALLED THE
  • 00:19:26.525 --> 00:19:27.826
  • IN OUR BRAIN CALLED THEAMYGDALA.
  • 00:19:27.826 --> 00:19:30.029
  • AMYGDALA.AND IT GETS HIJACKED AND WE
  • 00:19:30.029 --> 00:19:30.896
  • AND IT GETS HIJACKED AND WECAN'T FEEL THINGS RATIONALLY.
  • 00:19:30.896 --> 00:19:34.066
  • CAN'T FEEL THINGS RATIONALLY.OUR BODIES FEEL THE CRISIS.
  • 00:19:34.066 --> 00:19:35.968
  • OUR BODIES FEEL THE CRISIS.SO WHEN YOU'RE IN THAT MOMENT OF
  • 00:19:35.968 --> 00:19:38.103
  • SO WHEN YOU'RE IN THAT MOMENT OFHOLDING TRAUMA, BE GRACIOUS TO
  • 00:19:38.103 --> 00:19:39.939
  • HOLDING TRAUMA, BE GRACIOUS TOYOURSELF.
  • 00:19:39.939 --> 00:19:41.607
  • YOURSELF.DO THE THINGS THAT CALM YOUR
  • 00:19:41.607 --> 00:19:44.510
  • DO THE THINGS THAT CALM YOURSOUL AND AS WE'VE TALKED ABOUT,
  • 00:19:44.510 --> 00:19:48.047
  • SOUL AND AS WE'VE TALKED ABOUT,FIND A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN PUT
  • 00:19:48.047 --> 00:19:51.183
  • FIND A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN PUTTHAT RAW FEELING OUT IN A SAFE
  • 00:19:51.183 --> 00:19:52.985
  • THAT RAW FEELING OUT IN A SAFEWAY AND LET SOMEBODY HELP YOU
  • 00:19:52.985 --> 00:19:56.088
  • WAY AND LET SOMEBODY HELP YOUORGANIZE THOSE FILES.
  • 00:19:56.088 --> 00:19:57.423
  • ORGANIZE THOSE FILES.GOD'S SPIRIT WILL DO THAT, BUT
  • 00:19:57.423 --> 00:19:58.958
  • GOD'S SPIRIT WILL DO THAT, BUTDO THAT IN THE PRESENCE OF
  • 00:19:58.958 --> 00:19:59.892
  • DO THAT IN THE PRESENCE OFSOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU.
  • 00:19:59.892 --> 00:20:03.095
  • SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU.AND, THE MOST AMAZING THING IS,
  • 00:20:03.095 --> 00:20:05.331
  • AND, THE MOST AMAZING THING IS,KAYLA, I JUST HAVE TO SAY AS
  • 00:20:05.331 --> 00:20:06.432
  • KAYLA, I JUST HAVE TO SAY ASYOU'RE SHARING YOUR STORY, IN
  • 00:20:06.432 --> 00:20:09.001
  • YOU'RE SHARING YOUR STORY, INYOUR PAIN, YOU HAVE BECOME SO
  • 00:20:09.001 --> 00:20:11.103
  • YOUR PAIN, YOU HAVE BECOME SOGENEROUS.
  • 00:20:11.103 --> 00:20:13.772
  • GENEROUS.AND SHEILA, AS YOU'RE TALKING
  • 00:20:13.772 --> 00:20:14.707
  • AND SHEILA, AS YOU'RE TALKINGABOUT YOURS AND CHRYSTAL, YOUR
  • 00:20:14.707 --> 00:20:17.710
  • ABOUT YOURS AND CHRYSTAL, YOURLOSS AND TRULY, LAURIE, EVEN IN
  • 00:20:17.710 --> 00:20:21.046
  • LOSS AND TRULY, LAURIE, EVEN INYOUR LOSS OF BEING ABLE TO BE
  • 00:20:21.046 --> 00:20:22.748
  • YOUR LOSS OF BEING ABLE TO BEMUSICAL, WHICH, BY THE WAY, I
  • 00:20:22.748 --> 00:20:23.882
  • MUSICAL, WHICH, BY THE WAY, ICAN'T CARRY A TUNE, IN YOUR
  • 00:20:23.882 --> 00:20:27.253
  • CAN'T CARRY A TUNE, IN YOURPAIN, YOU'RE AUTHENTICITY IS
  • 00:20:27.253 --> 00:20:27.987
  • PAIN, YOU'RE AUTHENTICITY ISWHAT DRAWS ME TO YOU.
  • 00:20:27.987 --> 00:20:29.154
  • WHAT DRAWS ME TO YOU.I'M ALMOST NEVER DRAWN TO ANYONE
  • 00:20:29.154 --> 00:20:30.489
  • I'M ALMOST NEVER DRAWN TO ANYONEWHO'S PERFECT.
  • 00:20:30.489 --> 00:20:31.690
  • WHO'S PERFECT.I'M DRAWN TO PEOPLE WHO ARE
  • 00:20:31.690 --> 00:20:34.960
  • I'M DRAWN TO PEOPLE WHO AREAUTHENTIC.
  • 00:20:34.960 --> 00:20:36.395
  • AUTHENTIC.AND THAT IS LIKE A HIGHWAY FOR
  • 00:20:36.395 --> 00:20:38.497
  • AND THAT IS LIKE A HIGHWAY FORCONNECTION.
  • 00:20:38.497 --> 00:20:39.865
  • CONNECTION.AND THAT CREATES HEALING IN ME.
  • 00:20:39.865 --> 00:20:40.799
  • AND THAT CREATES HEALING IN ME.AND WITHOUT YOU EVEN KNOWING IT,
  • 00:20:40.799 --> 00:20:43.068
  • AND WITHOUT YOU EVEN KNOWING IT,YOU'RE TRAUMA AND YOUR PAIN
  • 00:20:43.068 --> 00:20:45.671
  • YOU'RE TRAUMA AND YOUR PAINBECOMES A ROAD TO HEALING IN MY
  • 00:20:45.671 --> 00:20:46.538
  • BECOMES A ROAD TO HEALING IN MYHEART FOR MY OWN TRAUMA AND
  • 00:20:46.538 --> 00:20:50.175
  • HEART FOR MY OWN TRAUMA ANDPAIN.
  • 00:20:50.175 --> 00:20:50.909
  • PAIN.AND WHAT A BEAUTIFUL THING GOD'S
  • 00:20:50.909 --> 00:20:53.779
  • AND WHAT A BEAUTIFUL THING GOD'SCONNECTED US THAT WAY.
  • 00:20:53.779 --> 00:20:58.150
  • CONNECTED US THAT WAY.- Kayla: I LOVE THAT, LESLIE.
  • 00:20:58.150 --> 00:20:59.351
  • - Kayla: I LOVE THAT, LESLIE.AND I THINK THAT'S THE BEAUTIFUL
  • 00:20:59.351 --> 00:21:00.853
  • AND I THINK THAT'S THE BEAUTIFULMYSTERY OF PAIN IS THAT PAIN CAN
  • 00:21:00.853 --> 00:21:01.887
  • MYSTERY OF PAIN IS THAT PAIN CANBE BEAUTIFUL AND PAIN CAN BE
  • 00:21:01.887 --> 00:21:03.155
  • BE BEAUTIFUL AND PAIN CAN BEYOUR SUPER POWER.
  • 00:21:03.155 --> 00:21:03.922
  • YOUR SUPER POWER.AND THAT GOD CAN USE OUR PAIN TO
  • 00:21:03.922 --> 00:21:04.657
  • AND THAT GOD CAN USE OUR PAIN TOREACH INTO OTHER PEOPLE'S PAIN
  • 00:21:04.657 --> 00:21:08.527
  • REACH INTO OTHER PEOPLE'S PAINAND GOD CAN USE OUR PAIN TO BE A
  • 00:21:08.527 --> 00:21:09.428
  • AND GOD CAN USE OUR PAIN TO BE AFRIEND TO OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE
  • 00:21:09.428 --> 00:21:11.063
  • FRIEND TO OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARESITTING IN PAIN.
  • 00:21:11.063 --> 00:21:12.298
  • SITTING IN PAIN.AND I THINK WHAT'S BEEN SO
  • 00:21:12.298 --> 00:21:14.600
  • AND I THINK WHAT'S BEEN SOSPECIAL TO ME ON MY JOURNEY IS
  • 00:21:14.600 --> 00:21:15.634
  • SPECIAL TO ME ON MY JOURNEY ISTO SEE HOW GOD DID THAT RIGHT
  • 00:21:15.634 --> 00:21:17.970
  • TO SEE HOW GOD DID THAT RIGHTAWAY.
  • 00:21:17.970 --> 00:21:19.271
  • AWAY.I MEAN, IT WAS WITHIN DAYS OF
  • 00:21:19.271 --> 00:21:21.240
  • I MEAN, IT WAS WITHIN DAYS OFANDREW'S DEATH THAT GOD WAS
  • 00:21:21.240 --> 00:21:22.941
  • ANDREW'S DEATH THAT GOD WASALREADY AT WORK REDEEMING THE
  • 00:21:22.941 --> 00:21:25.110
  • ALREADY AT WORK REDEEMING THETRAGEDY, REDEEMING THE TRAUMA
  • 00:21:25.110 --> 00:21:28.347
  • TRAGEDY, REDEEMING THE TRAUMAAND IT WAS ALL BECAUSE WE WERE
  • 00:21:28.347 --> 00:21:29.915
  • AND IT WAS ALL BECAUSE WE WEREWILLING TO TALK ABOUT WHAT
  • 00:21:29.915 --> 00:21:31.817
  • WILLING TO TALK ABOUT WHATHAPPENED AND WE WERE WILLING TO
  • 00:21:31.817 --> 00:21:32.785
  • HAPPENED AND WE WERE WILLING TOSAY THE WORD SUICIDE AND WE WERE
  • 00:21:32.785 --> 00:21:35.220
  • SAY THE WORD SUICIDE AND WE WEREWILLING TO SHARE OUR PAIN WITH
  • 00:21:35.220 --> 00:21:36.922
  • WILLING TO SHARE OUR PAIN WITHOTHERS AND TO WRITE BLOGS, OUR
  • 00:21:36.922 --> 00:21:38.357
  • OTHERS AND TO WRITE BLOGS, OURWHOLE FAMILY, TO WRITE BLOGS AND
  • 00:21:38.357 --> 00:21:39.725
  • WHOLE FAMILY, TO WRITE BLOGS ANDTO SHARE ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
  • 00:21:39.725 --> 00:21:41.827
  • TO SHARE ON SOCIAL MEDIA.AND I THINK THAT PAIN HAS BECOME
  • 00:21:41.827 --> 00:21:43.429
  • AND I THINK THAT PAIN HAS BECOMEMY PURPOSE NOW AS I MOVE
  • 00:21:43.429 --> 00:21:45.431
  • MY PURPOSE NOW AS I MOVEFORWARD.
  • 00:21:45.431 --> 00:21:48.000
  • FORWARD.AND FOR THE FIRST YEAR I HELD ON
  • 00:21:48.000 --> 00:21:49.702
  • AND FOR THE FIRST YEAR I HELD ONTO THAT PAIN AND I WAS JUST SO
  • 00:21:49.702 --> 00:21:53.439
  • TO THAT PAIN AND I WAS JUST SOOVERCOME AND SO OVERTAKEN AND IN
  • 00:21:53.439 --> 00:21:55.641
  • OVERCOME AND SO OVERTAKEN AND INTHIS DARKNESS OF THE PAIN AND
  • 00:21:55.641 --> 00:21:57.409
  • THIS DARKNESS OF THE PAIN ANDNOW AS I'M MOVING FORWARD AND
  • 00:21:57.409 --> 00:21:59.745
  • NOW AS I'M MOVING FORWARD ANDI'M HEADED TOWARDS THE TWO-YEAR
  • 00:21:59.745 --> 00:22:01.914
  • I'M HEADED TOWARDS THE TWO-YEARMARK, IT'S LIKE NOW I HAVE THIS
  • 00:22:01.914 --> 00:22:04.483
  • MARK, IT'S LIKE NOW I HAVE THISREVERENCE AND THIS AWE AND
  • 00:22:04.483 --> 00:22:06.919
  • REVERENCE AND THIS AWE ANDRESPECT FOR THE PAIN.
  • 00:22:06.919 --> 00:22:09.621
  • RESPECT FOR THE PAIN.AND WHO IT'S MAKING ME BECOME
  • 00:22:09.621 --> 00:22:11.690
  • AND WHO IT'S MAKING ME BECOMEAND WHO I'M BECOMING BECAUSE OF
  • 00:22:11.690 --> 00:22:13.258
  • AND WHO I'M BECOMING BECAUSE OFTHE PAIN AND WHO IT'S PUSHING ME
  • 00:22:13.258 --> 00:22:15.527
  • THE PAIN AND WHO IT'S PUSHING METOWARDS BEING AND HOW IT'S
  • 00:22:15.527 --> 00:22:16.495
  • TOWARDS BEING AND HOW IT'SPUSHED ME TOWARDS GOD.
  • 00:22:16.495 --> 00:22:19.298
  • PUSHED ME TOWARDS GOD.THE PRESENCE OF GOD AFTER PAIN,
  • 00:22:19.298 --> 00:22:22.568
  • THE PRESENCE OF GOD AFTER PAIN,I MISS, I MISS THAT INTIMACY
  • 00:22:22.568 --> 00:22:24.169
  • I MISS, I MISS THAT INTIMACYTHAT I HAD WITH GOD RIGHT AFTER
  • 00:22:24.169 --> 00:22:25.971
  • THAT I HAD WITH GOD RIGHT AFTERANDREW DIED.
  • 00:22:25.971 --> 00:22:27.940
  • ANDREW DIED.LIKE, GOD WAS SO NEAR AND HE WAS
  • 00:22:27.940 --> 00:22:29.174
  • LIKE, GOD WAS SO NEAR AND HE WASSO CLOSE.
  • 00:22:29.174 --> 00:22:30.476
  • SO CLOSE.LIKE THAT VERSE SAYS, THE LORD
  • 00:22:30.476 --> 00:22:32.044
  • LIKE THAT VERSE SAYS, THE LORDIS NEAR TO THE BROKEN HEARTED
  • 00:22:32.044 --> 00:22:33.412
  • IS NEAR TO THE BROKEN HEARTEDAND COMFORTS THOSE WHO ARE
  • 00:22:33.412 --> 00:22:34.680
  • AND COMFORTS THOSE WHO ARECRUSHED IN SPIRIT.
  • 00:22:34.680 --> 00:22:35.681
  • CRUSHED IN SPIRIT.IT'S JUST SO TRUE AND GOD WAS SO
  • 00:22:35.681 --> 00:22:38.050
  • IT'S JUST SO TRUE AND GOD WAS SOCLOSE AND I FELT HIS PRESENCE SO
  • 00:22:38.050 --> 00:22:39.651
  • CLOSE AND I FELT HIS PRESENCE SOTANGIBLY.
  • 00:22:39.651 --> 00:22:42.287
  • TANGIBLY.NOW I FIND MYSELF MISSING-- I
  • 00:22:42.287 --> 00:22:44.490
  • NOW I FIND MYSELF MISSING-- IMISS THAT CLOSENESS WITH GOD AND
  • 00:22:44.490 --> 00:22:47.126
  • MISS THAT CLOSENESS WITH GOD ANDI'M SO GRATEFUL THAT I HAD THAT
  • 00:22:47.126 --> 00:22:49.194
  • I'M SO GRATEFUL THAT I HAD THATAND THAT WAS MY MANNA THAT I
  • 00:22:49.194 --> 00:22:51.029
  • AND THAT WAS MY MANNA THAT INEEDED FOR THAT SEASON AND NOW
  • 00:22:51.029 --> 00:22:53.432
  • NEEDED FOR THAT SEASON AND NOWAS I'M MOVING IT'S LIKE I CAN
  • 00:22:53.432 --> 00:22:55.067
  • AS I'M MOVING IT'S LIKE I CANLOOK BACK AND I KNOW GOD WAS
  • 00:22:55.067 --> 00:22:57.503
  • LOOK BACK AND I KNOW GOD WASWITH ME BEFORE ANDREW DIED.
  • 00:22:57.503 --> 00:22:59.738
  • WITH ME BEFORE ANDREW DIED.I KNOW GOD WAS WITH ME AFTER,
  • 00:22:59.738 --> 00:23:01.173
  • I KNOW GOD WAS WITH ME AFTER,RIGHT AFTER ANDREW DIED.
  • 00:23:01.173 --> 00:23:03.075
  • RIGHT AFTER ANDREW DIED.AND I KNOW GOD IS WITH ME NOW AS
  • 00:23:03.075 --> 00:23:04.076
  • AND I KNOW GOD IS WITH ME NOW ASI CONTINUE MOVING FORWARD WITH
  • 00:23:04.076 --> 00:23:08.113
  • I CONTINUE MOVING FORWARD WITHMY PAIN AND CONTINUE LEARNING
  • 00:23:08.113 --> 00:23:09.248
  • MY PAIN AND CONTINUE LEARNINGWHAT TO DO WITH MY PAIN AND HOW
  • 00:23:09.248 --> 00:23:13.886
  • WHAT TO DO WITH MY PAIN AND HOWTO LIVE WITH THIS PAIN.
  • 00:23:13.886 --> 00:23:15.020
  • TO LIVE WITH THIS PAIN.BECAUSE THE PAIN WILL ALWAYS BE
  • 00:23:15.020 --> 00:23:17.122
  • BECAUSE THE PAIN WILL ALWAYS BETHERE.
  • 00:23:17.122 --> 00:23:17.689
  • THERE.LIKE WE SAID BEFORE.
  • 00:23:17.689 --> 00:23:18.390
  • LIKE WE SAID BEFORE.THE PAIN WILL ALWAYS BE A PART
  • 00:23:18.390 --> 00:23:19.825
  • THE PAIN WILL ALWAYS BE A PARTOF MY LIFE AND A PART OF MY
  • 00:23:19.825 --> 00:23:21.293
  • OF MY LIFE AND A PART OF MYCHILDREN'S LIFE AND SO, IT'S
  • 00:23:21.293 --> 00:23:22.461
  • CHILDREN'S LIFE AND SO, IT'SLEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH THAT
  • 00:23:22.461 --> 00:23:26.165
  • LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH THATPAIN AND BUILDING A BEAUTIFUL
  • 00:23:26.165 --> 00:23:30.536
  • PAIN AND BUILDING A BEAUTIFULLIFE AROUND IT AND I TRULY
  • 00:23:30.536 --> 00:23:32.337
  • LIFE AROUND IT AND I TRULYBELIEVE WITH GOD, THAT BUILDING
  • 00:23:32.337 --> 00:23:33.405
  • BELIEVE WITH GOD, THAT BUILDINGA BEAUTIFUL LIFE IS POSSIBLE.
  • 00:23:33.405 --> 00:23:34.273
  • A BEAUTIFUL LIFE IS POSSIBLE.AND SO I WANT TO PRAY FOR OUR
  • 00:23:34.273 --> 00:23:35.073
  • AND SO I WANT TO PRAY FOR OURFRIENDS THAT ARE SITTING IN
  • 00:23:35.073 --> 00:23:35.808
  • FRIENDS THAT ARE SITTING INTRAUMA OR SITTING IN GRIEF OR
  • 00:23:35.808 --> 00:23:37.242
  • TRAUMA OR SITTING IN GRIEF ORSITTING IN LOSS AND ARE
  • 00:23:37.242 --> 00:23:38.444
  • SITTING IN LOSS AND ARESTRUGGLING TO SEE THE BEAUTY IN
  • 00:23:38.444 --> 00:23:40.479
  • STRUGGLING TO SEE THE BEAUTY INIT AND ARE STRUGGLING TO FIND
  • 00:23:40.479 --> 00:23:42.281
  • IT AND ARE STRUGGLING TO FINDGOD IN IT AND ARE OVERWHELMED
  • 00:23:42.281 --> 00:23:44.082
  • GOD IN IT AND ARE OVERWHELMEDWITH PAIN, LET'S PRAY TOGETHER.
  • 00:23:44.082 --> 00:23:45.818
  • WITH PAIN, LET'S PRAY TOGETHER.GOD, I THANK YOU FOR YOUR
  • 00:23:45.818 --> 00:23:46.485
  • GOD, I THANK YOU FOR YOURPRESENCE.
  • 00:23:46.485 --> 00:23:50.055
  • PRESENCE.I THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMFORT.
  • 00:23:50.055 --> 00:23:52.958
  • I THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMFORT.I THANK YOU FOR YOUR PEACE.
  • 00:23:52.958 --> 00:23:54.827
  • I THANK YOU FOR YOUR PEACE.GOD, I THANK YOU THAT YOU KNOW
  • 00:23:54.827 --> 00:23:57.162
  • GOD, I THANK YOU THAT YOU KNOWTHE PAIN BECAUSE YOU LIVED THE
  • 00:23:57.162 --> 00:23:58.163
  • THE PAIN BECAUSE YOU LIVED THEPAIN, GOD, YOU SENT YOUR SON
  • 00:23:58.163 --> 00:24:00.065
  • PAIN, GOD, YOU SENT YOUR SONJESUS TO SAVE US ALL FOREVER,
  • 00:24:00.065 --> 00:24:01.733
  • JESUS TO SAVE US ALL FOREVER,LORD, AND THAT HE ENDURED THE
  • 00:24:01.733 --> 00:24:03.869
  • LORD, AND THAT HE ENDURED THEMOST AMOUNT OF PAIN, GOD, AND HE
  • 00:24:03.869 --> 00:24:05.871
  • MOST AMOUNT OF PAIN, GOD, AND HEUNDERSTANDS OUR PAIN.
  • 00:24:05.871 --> 00:24:07.873
  • UNDERSTANDS OUR PAIN.AND WE SERVE A GOD THAT
  • 00:24:07.873 --> 00:24:08.674
  • AND WE SERVE A GOD THATUNDERSTANDS OUR PAIN, GOD AND
  • 00:24:08.674 --> 00:24:11.610
  • UNDERSTANDS OUR PAIN, GOD ANDI'M SO GRATEFUL, SO LORD, I PRAY
  • 00:24:11.610 --> 00:24:13.178
  • I'M SO GRATEFUL, SO LORD, I PRAYFOR OUR FRIENDS WHO ARE SITTING
  • 00:24:13.178 --> 00:24:14.947
  • FOR OUR FRIENDS WHO ARE SITTINGIN THE TRENCHES OF IT RIGHT NOW.
  • 00:24:14.947 --> 00:24:16.949
  • IN THE TRENCHES OF IT RIGHT NOW.GOD, WHERE IT'S A DARK CLOUD AND
  • 00:24:16.949 --> 00:24:19.751
  • GOD, WHERE IT'S A DARK CLOUD ANDTHEY DON'T KNOW WHEN THE LIGHT
  • 00:24:19.751 --> 00:24:21.553
  • THEY DON'T KNOW WHEN THE LIGHTIS GOING TO BREAK THROUGH AND
  • 00:24:21.553 --> 00:24:23.021
  • IS GOING TO BREAK THROUGH ANDTHEY'RE SEARCHING FOR IT AND
  • 00:24:23.021 --> 00:24:24.423
  • THEY'RE SEARCHING FOR IT ANDTHEY'RE LOOKING FOR YOU AND
  • 00:24:24.423 --> 00:24:25.624
  • THEY'RE LOOKING FOR YOU ANDTHEY'RE WANTING THE LIGHT TO
  • 00:24:25.624 --> 00:24:26.825
  • THEY'RE WANTING THE LIGHT TOBREAK THROUGH, GOD, AND I PRAY
  • 00:24:26.825 --> 00:24:27.960
  • BREAK THROUGH, GOD, AND I PRAYTHAT YOU WOULD JUST BREAK
  • 00:24:27.960 --> 00:24:29.161
  • THAT YOU WOULD JUST BREAKTHROUGH TO THEM.
  • 00:24:29.161 --> 00:24:30.429
  • THROUGH TO THEM.I PRAY THAT YOU WOULD SEND
  • 00:24:30.429 --> 00:24:31.730
  • I PRAY THAT YOU WOULD SENDSOMEBODY TO DROP OFF A MEAL,
  • 00:24:31.730 --> 00:24:33.398
  • SOMEBODY TO DROP OFF A MEAL,THAT YOU WOULD SEND A TEXT
  • 00:24:33.398 --> 00:24:35.133
  • THAT YOU WOULD SEND A TEXTMESSAGE, THAT YOU WOULD SEND A
  • 00:24:35.133 --> 00:24:36.768
  • MESSAGE, THAT YOU WOULD SEND AWORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT, MAYBE
  • 00:24:36.768 --> 00:24:39.171
  • WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT, MAYBETHROUGH A PODCAST OR A SONG OR A
  • 00:24:39.171 --> 00:24:41.373
  • THROUGH A PODCAST OR A SONG OR ASCRIPTURE THAT THEY WOULD JUST
  • 00:24:41.373 --> 00:24:42.608
  • SCRIPTURE THAT THEY WOULD JUSTKNOW THAT YOU ARE NEAR.
  • 00:24:42.608 --> 00:24:43.876
  • KNOW THAT YOU ARE NEAR.AND THAT YOU CARE.
  • 00:24:43.876 --> 00:24:46.845
  • AND THAT YOU CARE.AND THAT THEY ARE NOT A BURDEN
  • 00:24:46.845 --> 00:24:47.713
  • AND THAT THEY ARE NOT A BURDENAND THAT THEY ARE NOT FORGOTTEN
  • 00:24:47.713 --> 00:24:49.648
  • AND THAT THEY ARE NOT FORGOTTENAND THAT THEIR PAIN WILL NOT
  • 00:24:49.648 --> 00:24:51.183
  • AND THAT THEIR PAIN WILL NOTLAST FOREVER, GOD, AND THAT YOU
  • 00:24:51.183 --> 00:24:52.317
  • LAST FOREVER, GOD, AND THAT YOUWANT TO INVADE THE PAIN WITH
  • 00:24:52.317 --> 00:24:54.386
  • WANT TO INVADE THE PAIN WITHYOUR PEACE.
  • 00:24:54.386 --> 00:24:56.688
  • YOUR PEACE.GOD, I THANK YOU FOR THAT HOPE.
  • 00:24:56.688 --> 00:24:58.624
  • GOD, I THANK YOU FOR THAT HOPE.I THANK YOU THAT WE HAVE HOPE.
  • 00:24:58.624 --> 00:25:00.893
  • I THANK YOU THAT WE HAVE HOPE.I THANK YOU THAT WE HAVE HEAVEN.
  • 00:25:00.893 --> 00:25:03.462
  • I THANK YOU THAT WE HAVE HEAVEN.I THANK YOU THAT THIS IS JUST
  • 00:25:03.462 --> 00:25:04.630
  • I THANK YOU THAT THIS IS JUSTTHE FIRST INCH OF LIFE AND THAT
  • 00:25:04.630 --> 00:25:08.700
  • THE FIRST INCH OF LIFE AND THATETERNAL JOY IS WAITING FOR US
  • 00:25:08.700 --> 00:25:12.471
  • ETERNAL JOY IS WAITING FOR USFOREVER, GOD, SO I PRAY THAT YOU
  • 00:25:12.471 --> 00:25:13.238
  • FOREVER, GOD, SO I PRAY THAT YOUWOULD HELP US CLING TO YOU WHEN
  • 00:25:13.238 --> 00:25:13.972
  • WOULD HELP US CLING TO YOU WHENWE ARE IN PAIN, THAT YOU WOULD
  • 00:25:13.972 --> 00:25:16.141
  • WE ARE IN PAIN, THAT YOU WOULDHELP US RUN TO YOU AND SIT WITH
  • 00:25:16.141 --> 00:25:17.509
  • HELP US RUN TO YOU AND SIT WITHYOU AND ASK FOR YOUR HELP, GOD.
  • 00:25:17.509 --> 00:25:18.443
  • YOU AND ASK FOR YOUR HELP, GOD.AND I THANK YOU FOR THE WAY THAT
  • 00:25:18.443 --> 00:25:19.411
  • AND I THANK YOU FOR THE WAY THATYOU ALWAYS COME THROUGH.
  • 00:25:19.411 --> 00:25:21.313
  • YOU ALWAYS COME THROUGH.IN YOUR MIGHTY NAME I PRAY,
  • 00:25:21.313 --> 00:25:26.351
  • IN YOUR MIGHTY NAME I PRAY,AMEN.
  • 00:25:26.351 --> 00:25:28.921
  • AMEN.- Laurie: AMEN.
  • 00:25:28.921 --> 00:25:30.355
  • - Laurie: AMEN.SO GOOD.
  • 00:25:30.355 --> 00:25:30.923
  • SO GOOD.THANK YOU, KAYLA.
  • 00:25:30.923 --> 00:25:32.124
  • THANK YOU, KAYLA.YOU KNOW OUR "BETTER TOGETHER"
  • 00:25:32.124 --> 00:25:32.824
  • YOU KNOW OUR "BETTER TOGETHER"COMMUNITY IS ALWAYS HERE FOR
  • 00:25:32.824 --> 00:25:33.458
  • COMMUNITY IS ALWAYS HERE FORYOU.
  • 00:25:33.458 --> 00:25:34.159
  • YOU.YOU CAN CONNECT WITH US ON
  • 00:25:34.159 --> 00:25:34.927
  • YOU CAN CONNECT WITH US ONSOCIAL MEDIA AND LET US KNOW HOW
  • 00:25:34.927 --> 00:25:35.661
  • SOCIAL MEDIA AND LET US KNOW HOWWE CAN PRAY FOR YOU.
  • 00:25:35.661 --> 00:25:36.395
  • WE CAN PRAY FOR YOU.THANK YOU FOR JOINING US TODAY.
  • 00:25:36.395 --> 00:25:38.263
  • THANK YOU FOR JOINING US TODAY.AS MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS WEEK
  • 00:25:38.263 --> 00:25:40.899
  • AS MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS WEEKCOMES TO AN END, IT DOES NOT
  • 00:25:40.899 --> 00:25:42.100
  • COMES TO AN END, IT DOES NOTMEAN OUR WORK IS OVER.
  • 00:25:42.100 --> 00:25:43.735
  • MEAN OUR WORK IS OVER.TOGETHER WE CAN OFFER SUPPORT
  • 00:25:43.735 --> 00:25:46.204
  • TOGETHER WE CAN OFFER SUPPORTAND CREATE POSITIVE CHANGE.
  • 00:25:46.204 --> 00:25:47.272
  • AND CREATE POSITIVE CHANGE.TOMORROW WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT
  • 00:25:47.272 --> 00:25:48.774
  • TOMORROW WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUTHOW TO CONTINUE THIS
  • 00:25:48.774 --> 00:25:51.076
  • HOW TO CONTINUE THISCONVERSATION IN OUR HOMES, OUR
  • 00:25:51.076 --> 00:25:52.277
  • CONVERSATION IN OUR HOMES, OURCOMMUNITIES AND OUR CHURCHES.
  • 00:25:52.277 --> 00:25:52.978
  • COMMUNITIES AND OUR CHURCHES.WE'LL SEE YOU THEN.
  • 00:25:52.978 --> 00:25:55.514
  • WE'LL SEE YOU THEN.WE LOVE YOU, BYE BYE.
  • 00:25:55.514 --> 00:26:05.000