Bobby Schuller | TBN

Bobby Schuller

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March 6, 2017
27:31

The Narrow Rule - How To Be Alive: The Golden Rule

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Bobby Schuller

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  • Bobby Schuller: Will you stand with me?
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  • Hold your hands like this as a sign of receiving from God.
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  • And we're going to say this together,
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  • and God's going to touch your heart.
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  • I'm not what I do.
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  • I'm not what I have.
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  • I'm not what people say about me.
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  • I am the beloved of God.
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  • It's who I am.
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  • No one can take it from me.
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  • I don't have to worry.
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  • I don't have to hurry.
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  • I can trust my friend Jesus and share his love with the world.
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  • Thanks, be seated.
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  • Well, good morning.
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  • That's the fourth time I've said that.
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  • I want to begin by letting you know today, we're going to be
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  • talking about love and the golden rule.
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  • Today, we're continuing our series on "The Narrow Road."
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  • And "The Narrow Road" is this idea that Jesus placed before us
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  • that every human has a choice to choose the easy path to life or
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  • the difficult path.
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  • And the difficult path is the one that Christ lays before us.
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  • He says, "Truly to do what I tell you to do, to build your
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  • life on the rock that is my wisdom and me as a person, that
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  • to do that, it's hard, it's difficult, it's challenging,
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  • it's uphill, it's narrow, it's difficult.
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  • But if you do it, you will have eternal life."
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  • And eternal life in the Bible
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  • doesn't mean just going to heaven when you die,
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  • and it does mean that, but it means having full, rich,
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  • overflowing life right now.
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  • Joy is one of the fruits of the Spirit.
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  • Laughter is from God, mirth.
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  • These are things that I think are a part of choosing
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  • to do what Jesus commanded.
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  • One of the core teachings that I want to talk about today
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  • is the golden rule.
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  • The golden rule, anybody know it off of the top of their head?
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  • That's right...
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  • Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you.
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  • It's a famous saying.
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  • The golden rule you may not know
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  • is not original to Jesus in a way.
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  • It sort of is, but it isn't.
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  • He takes a very famous saying and flips it around.
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  • And I really want you to see this because the way that Jesus
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  • flips the saying around shows that he changes that
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  • the original saying missed it.
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  • So, there are two characters in the gospels who are there,
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  • they're present in the story,
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  • but their name is never mentioned.
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  • And these two characters are the two biggest influences on
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  • the Pharisees, who are a major character in the story of Jesus.
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  • And I'm going to introduce you to both of them.
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  • The first one is the second--probably the second most
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  • important Jewish character in all of Judaism, even today,
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  • second only to Moses.
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  • His name is Hillel the elder.
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  • Everybody say Hillel.
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  • Say, "Hello, Hillel." Okay, here's Hillel.
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  • And the other is Shammai.
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  • Here is Shammai.
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  • Say, "Hi Shammai." Shammai's a drag.
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  • All right, you got Hillel and you got Shammai.
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  • And both of these guys lived just before Jesus and a little
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  • bit during Jesus.
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  • Hillel the elder, picture Yoda.
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  • I mean, he was--he was born in Babylonia, he moved to Jerusalem
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  • when he was 40, and he spent 40 years studying Torah before he
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  • even taught.
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  • And then at the age of 80, he began teaching.
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  • And according to legend, taught from 80 to 120.
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  • That's a lot of wisdom, right?
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  • And this guy was framing Judaism.
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  • Hillel's teachings were, I believe, appropriate to
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  • the Old Testament, which is that Judaism, and according to
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  • Scripture this is true, that God created Judaism or the Jewish
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  • people as a way to reconcile the world.
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  • That the purpose of the Jewish people was not to be separated,
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  • but to reach out to others.
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  • To--that the ultimate purpose of God's covenant people was to
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  • bring this big, heavy word, "shalom."
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  • It's more than peace.
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  • It is peace, but it's God's everything.
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  • And I would say heaven to the whole world,
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  • bring it to the Gentiles, to everyone.
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  • And so, Hillel was very much like this it's about Shalom,
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  • it's about peace, it's about integrating, it's about
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  • reconciling, it's about helping.
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  • And he would still say, "It's holiness, it's cleanliness,
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  • it's--you still eat the right foods, and you do--"
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  • But for Hillel, his teachings were very much about being
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  • proactive and helping others.
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  • That's Hillel, the good guy, Yoda.
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  • Then you got Shammai.
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  • Hillel and Shammai were contemporaries, were friends,
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  • but they were always debating, and they disagreed.
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  • In fact, they created the two biggest houses of the Pharisees.
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  • The first house was the House of Hillel, and the second one's the
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  • House of Shammai, obviously.
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  • Shammai, Shammai is the yin to Hillel's yang.
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  • He is very strict, he's very like black and white.
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  • If you like the play "Les Mis," picture Javert.
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  • I mean, just very like, "This is how it is, perfection.
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  • You follow the Torah perfectly.
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  • You're in or you're out.
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  • And you're in based on what you do, and you're out if you don't
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  • do it right.
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  • And the better you do it, the more in you are."
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  • So, it's very much about separation in this kind of*.
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  • And these two guys formed what essentially became the main
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  • rabbinic schools in Jesus' day.
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  • Jesus, what's amazing to me, there hasn't been more written
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  • on Hillel and Jesus because Jesus probably would've been
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  • somewhere between 10 or 12 to 18 when Hillel the elder died,
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  • and for sure was influenced by Hillel's teachings and sayings.
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  • When Hillel dies, Shammai takes over and becomes the main guy
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  • that's leading Judaism.
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  • So, by the time Jesus becomes a Pharisee, Shammai has been in
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  • charge for like 20 years.
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  • And all of--most of the Pharisees are like Shammai.
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  • They were like, "You're in or you're out.
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  • You're in or you're out.
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  • There's this big gap here.
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  • You're in or you're out, and you got to be perfect." If you're
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  • poor, it's 'cause God's cursing you.
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  • If you're rich, it's 'cause God's blessing you.
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  • If you're healthy, it's because God's blessing you.
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  • If you're sick, it's because God's cursing you.
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  • So, this bizarre view.
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  • And so, much of what Jesus is preaching against is this
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  • House of Shammai Judaism.
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  • I think it's so important when you read it.
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  • And the reason it's important is because many of the quotes
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  • that Jesus is saying is anti-House of Shammai.
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  • And sometimes, what he does with Hillel is he, like,
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  • improves Hillel.
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  • So, one famous story from Hillel, that's the good guy,
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  • Yoda guy on this side.
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  • One day, there was a Gentile,
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  • and he came to Shammai and Hillel.
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  • And he said, "I will convert to Judaism if you can stand on one
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  • leg and in that short amount of time explain to me the gist of
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  • the Torah."
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  • Shammai gets angry, rebukes the man, storms out of the room.
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  • Hillel rebukes the man, but then says this on one leg.
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  • He says--from the Talmud.
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  • This is getting long.
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  • "What is hateful for you, do not do to your fellow.
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  • This is the whole Torah, the rest is the explanation.
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  • Now, go and learn," Hillel the elder.
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  • So, look at that, look how similar it is to
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  • the golden rule.
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  • That's actually called the silver rule of reciprocity.
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  • It's similar to the Hippocratic oath that doctors take,
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  • do no harm.
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  • And that's essentially the idea.
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  • Do not do to others what you wouldn't want them to do to you.
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  • And this became a core value of many of the rabbis of Jesus'
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  • day, that people would say it all the time, "The Torah is
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  • don't do what is hateful to yourself."
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  • In other words, don't do to others
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  • what you wouldn't want them to do to you.
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  • And if asked Jesus, "How could I be saved?"
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  • and he says, "Do unto others
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  • what you'd have them do unto you.
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  • This is the whole of the law." In another passage, a Pharisee
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  • asks him, "Rabbi, how am I to inherit eternal life?"
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  • And Jesus, he doesn't say, "You're a rabbi, tell me."
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  • But he says to this Pharisee, "Well, what do you say?"
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  • And the Pharisee says, "Love the Lord your God of all your heart,
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  • soul, mind, and strength.
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  • And love your neighbor as yourself."
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  • And Jesus says,
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  • "Do this and you will inherit eternal life."
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  • And then you think it'd be over, right?
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  • But then there's this awkward silence, and then the Pharisee
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  • says, "Well, who's my neighbor?"
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  • And then Jesus says to this rabbi, then he actually tells
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  • him this now famous story, the story of the good Samaritan,
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  • which is a story of a man who is dying on the road.
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  • And a pastor and a Bible scholar,
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  • they just walk over him.
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  • They ignore him, they go around him.
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  • But then a Samaritan, try to think of a contemporary version
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  • of Samaritan.
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  • Middle Eastern Muslim maybe, or some--think of some religious
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  • group that in mainline Christianity may be out--
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  • even more than that.
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  • Think of like--it was just like the Samaritan was such
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  • an outsider, a bad guy.
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  • And here it is, the Samaritan comes up and he saves the guy,
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  • and he helps him, and he rescues him, and he revives him even
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  • though the guy's Jewish.
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  • And Jesus says essentially that this is the man, not the pastor,
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  • not the religious teacher, not the rabbi, but the outsider who
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  • helps a hurting man on the road, this is the one who inherits
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  • eternal life.
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  • I'm just going to let that simmer for a sec.
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  • For Jesus, Christian love, to love like Christ, is not really
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  • about what you know unless you put it into action.
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  • So, for him, love was what you do.
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  • So, for him, the fulfillment of the law Jesus teaches his
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  • disciples, he turns the silver rule, which is already a good
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  • rule, don't do any harm, to a great rule.
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  • Do unto others what you'd have them do unto you.
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  • So, this idea that he's saying in such a brilliant way, "You've
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  • heard it said don't cause harm, but I tell you go
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  • and help others."
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  • And that's, in fact, what Leviticus says.
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  • Both Hillel and Jesus are drawing from Leviticus 19.
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  • If you have your Bibles, it's Leviticus 19, verse 17.
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  • It says this.
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  • Seventeen sounds like Hillel, "Do not hate a fellow Israelite
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  • in your heart.
  • 00:10:46.170 --> 00:10:47.240
  • Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share
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  • in their guilt."
  • 00:10:49.270 --> 00:10:51.050
  • Fair enough, but what does the next verse say?
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  • "Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your
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  • people," but what?
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  • "Love your neighbor as yourself.
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  • I am the Lord."
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  • That is the command of the Bible is to love
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  • others the way you be loved.
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  • And let me tell you, there are so many times when I'm hurting,
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  • and when you're hurting where you need a lot more in your life
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  • than people that just don't hurt you.
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  • You need people that reach out to you, that seek after you,
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  • that help you.
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  • And I'm so proud of you, that's what you do.
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  • You are the kind of person whose love is like the Samaritan.
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  • You're proactive, you go after people, you're empathetic,
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  • you're kind, you don't judge.
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  • You seek to understand and assess, and I'm so proud of you.
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  • That is Christian love.
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  • Christian love is proactive and empathetic,
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  • and man is that Jesus.
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  • Jesus is the culmination in everything he did of empathy
  • 00:11:40.110 --> 00:11:44.020
  • and proactive love, not reactive love.
  • 00:11:44.050 --> 00:11:48.220
  • God didn't say, "Come up to heaven."
  • 00:11:48.250 --> 00:11:50.130
  • Heaven came to earth in Jesus Christ.
  • 00:11:50.160 --> 00:11:53.010
  • He became a man and took on all of our temptations, and wounds,
  • 00:11:53.040 --> 00:11:57.020
  • and abandonment, and rejection, and betrayal.
  • 00:11:57.050 --> 00:11:59.270
  • He suffered all that and suffered the cross.
  • 00:12:00.020 --> 00:12:02.190
  • Empathy is, in and of itself, taking on the sufferings
  • 00:12:02.220 --> 00:12:06.250
  • of others upon yourself, and that is who Jesus is.
  • 00:12:06.280 --> 00:12:09.140
  • He modeled that.
  • 00:12:09.170 --> 00:12:11.020
  • And I'm so thankful that he did, aren't you?
  • 00:12:11.050 --> 00:12:14.060
  • He showed us that--he teaches us no servant, no servant
  • 00:12:14.090 --> 00:12:20.100
  • is greater than his master.
  • 00:12:20.130 --> 00:12:21.230
  • "I have served you, now serve and love one another."
  • 00:12:21.260 --> 00:12:25.090
  • And that's Christian love.
  • 00:12:25.120 --> 00:12:26.200
  • So, what is love?
  • 00:12:26.230 --> 00:12:28.180
  • What is love?
  • 00:12:28.210 --> 00:12:31.250
  • I did that in the 9:30 too.
  • 00:12:31.280 --> 00:12:33.100
  • I didn't mean to, both times when I said it.
  • 00:12:33.130 --> 00:12:35.270
  • That's all I hear, what is love?
  • 00:12:36.000 --> 00:12:41.150
  • I remember, you know, very often we'll turn around, we greet each
  • 00:12:41.180 --> 00:12:45.080
  • other, and we tell everybody, "Shake hands with
  • 00:12:45.110 --> 00:12:46.250
  • the other--somebody and say, 'God loves you, and so do I.'"
  • 00:12:46.280 --> 00:12:49.010
  • I feel like this is such a great discipline.
  • 00:12:49.040 --> 00:12:51.040
  • And here's the reason, because it teaches us that we can love
  • 00:12:51.070 --> 00:12:54.000
  • everybody, even if you don't know them.
  • 00:12:54.030 --> 00:12:56.030
  • In fact, I had a guy one time, and he asked me the question,
  • 00:12:56.060 --> 00:12:58.060
  • he said, "You always tell us to do that, but I'm, like,
  • 00:12:58.090 --> 00:13:01.050
  • turning around, shaking hands with some dude.
  • 00:13:01.080 --> 00:13:03.060
  • I don't know this guy.
  • 00:13:03.090 --> 00:13:05.070
  • And I'm telling him I love him, and I don't know him," right?
  • 00:13:05.100 --> 00:13:10.180
  • And I was really glad he asked that question.
  • 00:13:10.210 --> 00:13:13.200
  • Maybe you felt that way before in this understanding, and
  • 00:13:13.230 --> 00:13:15.210
  • that's a misunderstanding of what true--of what real love is.
  • 00:13:15.240 --> 00:13:20.230
  • Love, the definition of love is so simple.
  • 00:13:20.260 --> 00:13:23.090
  • It means that you just care about people, you just care.
  • 00:13:23.120 --> 00:13:26.200
  • You can love people you very much dislike.
  • 00:13:26.230 --> 00:13:29.200
  • If there's someone you really dislike, but you want good
  • 00:13:29.230 --> 00:13:33.270
  • in their life and not bad, you love them.
  • 00:13:34.000 --> 00:13:36.140
  • If it was like, you know, a video game or something, and it
  • 00:13:36.170 --> 00:13:41.000
  • was like you can choose that everything goes bad for them
  • 00:13:41.030 --> 00:13:43.100
  • or everything goes good for them, what would you choose?
  • 00:13:43.130 --> 00:13:45.190
  • And you choose good for them, then you love them, even though
  • 00:13:45.220 --> 00:13:47.090
  • you can't stand them.
  • 00:13:47.120 --> 00:13:48.260
  • So, Christian love is that you care about people's lives.
  • 00:13:48.290 --> 00:13:53.140
  • And all--and the Bible teaches us that when we face moral
  • 00:13:53.170 --> 00:13:57.270
  • dilemmas, and you will, one of the worst teachings that is not
  • 00:13:58.000 --> 00:14:02.160
  • Christian at all is all sins are equal.
  • 00:14:02.190 --> 00:14:04.110
  • That is not true.
  • 00:14:04.140 --> 00:14:05.260
  • All sin separates us from God and all sin is bad, but like,
  • 00:14:05.290 --> 00:14:10.030
  • lying about your taxes is not the same as, like,
  • 00:14:10.060 --> 00:14:12.240
  • killing somebody, okay?
  • 00:14:12.270 --> 00:14:14.150
  • The Bible never says it.
  • 00:14:14.180 --> 00:14:15.250
  • In fact, it says quite the opposite.
  • 00:14:15.280 --> 00:14:17.110
  • God seems to get more angry at certain sins than others.
  • 00:14:17.140 --> 00:14:19.220
  • So, it's part of our responsibility to not be
  • 00:14:19.250 --> 00:14:21.240
  • lazy moral thinkers.
  • 00:14:21.270 --> 00:14:23.130
  • When we have a moral dilemma, to weigh--when it feels like
  • 00:14:23.160 --> 00:14:28.130
  • we have to make a choice, to weigh which is better.
  • 00:14:28.160 --> 00:14:30.210
  • And the way Christians do it is love becomes the great--
  • 00:14:30.240 --> 00:14:33.080
  • the great equalizer.
  • 00:14:33.110 --> 00:14:35.080
  • So, here's a great question.
  • 00:14:35.110 --> 00:14:36.230
  • If you have a brother, or a friend, or a sister who
  • 00:14:36.260 --> 00:14:39.190
  • has addiction and they come asking you for money,
  • 00:14:39.220 --> 00:14:43.020
  • do you give them money?
  • 00:14:43.050 --> 00:14:44.120
  • I mean, the Bible says to be generous if somebody asks you or
  • 00:14:44.150 --> 00:14:46.250
  • is in need, you give to them.
  • 00:14:46.280 --> 00:14:48.080
  • What's the answer?
  • 00:14:48.110 --> 00:14:49.180
  • The answer is no because if you actually care about them, then
  • 00:14:49.210 --> 00:14:51.200
  • you're not going to give them money to harm themselves
  • 00:14:51.230 --> 00:14:55.060
  • or others.
  • 00:14:55.090 --> 00:14:57.000
  • Giving to an addict is enabling.
  • 00:14:57.030 --> 00:15:00.080
  • It's coming from a place of fear,
  • 00:15:00.110 --> 00:15:02.070
  • not from a place of compassion.
  • 00:15:02.100 --> 00:15:04.060
  • You're too afraid to confront your neighbor, so you either
  • 00:15:04.090 --> 00:15:08.000
  • give in or avoid them, and that's not love.
  • 00:15:08.030 --> 00:15:11.030
  • You guys know I'm a Sermon on the Mount guy.
  • 00:15:11.060 --> 00:15:14.230
  • I totally believe in turning the cheek and loving your enemy, but
  • 00:15:14.260 --> 00:15:17.290
  • is there ever a time when love is violent?
  • 00:15:18.020 --> 00:15:20.280
  • Absolutely, absolutely.
  • 00:15:21.010 --> 00:15:24.090
  • Love can cause feelings of affection, but we all know we
  • 00:15:24.120 --> 00:15:27.080
  • don't always have feelings of affections
  • 00:15:27.110 --> 00:15:30.020
  • for the people we love.
  • 00:15:30.050 --> 00:15:31.210
  • You still love them.
  • 00:15:31.240 --> 00:15:33.130
  • How many marriages have been robbed of joy because there's
  • 00:15:33.160 --> 00:15:37.040
  • this idea that you always have to have feelings of affection
  • 00:15:37.070 --> 00:15:40.180
  • for it to be true love?
  • 00:15:40.210 --> 00:15:42.040
  • What a lie.
  • 00:15:42.070 --> 00:15:43.150
  • Loving someone means you care about them.
  • 00:15:43.180 --> 00:15:45.250
  • I had a guy that once told me he was caring for his mom
  • 00:15:45.280 --> 00:15:50.110
  • and had been caring her for years.
  • 00:15:50.140 --> 00:15:52.030
  • She was sick and elderly, and kind of in that in between,
  • 00:15:52.060 --> 00:15:55.070
  • between life and death.
  • 00:15:55.100 --> 00:15:56.250
  • And it was affecting his personal life.
  • 00:15:56.280 --> 00:15:58.240
  • You know, he's with his mom all the time, she needed him, she
  • 00:15:58.270 --> 00:16:01.020
  • couldn't afford anything else.
  • 00:16:01.050 --> 00:16:02.150
  • It doesn't seem like there was any other answer, so he's caring
  • 00:16:02.180 --> 00:16:04.000
  • about her, caring for her, but was resenting her, and feeling
  • 00:16:04.030 --> 00:16:08.030
  • angry towards her, and feeling angry towards God.
  • 00:16:08.060 --> 00:16:11.150
  • And he thought that he didn't love his mom because of that,
  • 00:16:11.180 --> 00:16:14.270
  • and it's quite the opposite.
  • 00:16:15.000 --> 00:16:16.270
  • How much you love your mom in spite of those emotions.
  • 00:16:17.000 --> 00:16:20.280
  • To still care for someone even though you have feelings of
  • 00:16:21.010 --> 00:16:24.110
  • resentment is incredibly loving.
  • 00:16:24.140 --> 00:16:27.100
  • That's the hardest time to love someone is when you don't feel
  • 00:16:27.130 --> 00:16:29.040
  • those feelings for them.
  • 00:16:29.070 --> 00:16:31.270
  • And I said, "Did you--do you harm her?
  • 00:16:32.000 --> 00:16:33.290
  • Do you say nasty things to her?"
  • 00:16:34.020 --> 00:16:35.170
  • "No, I always care for her, I always make sure she's okay.
  • 00:16:35.200 --> 00:16:37.240
  • She cared for me." Like, "You love her.
  • 00:16:37.270 --> 00:16:40.120
  • And God's proud of what you're doing."
  • 00:16:40.150 --> 00:16:43.020
  • And I added that God will bless him for that, for being faithful
  • 00:16:43.050 --> 00:16:46.190
  • and honoring his mother as the Scriptures teach us.
  • 00:16:46.220 --> 00:16:49.240
  • So, to love people doesn't mean it's about a feeling.
  • 00:16:49.270 --> 00:16:53.050
  • To love people doesn't mean that you are passive or you just sort
  • 00:16:53.080 --> 00:16:58.170
  • of let it happen.
  • 00:16:58.200 --> 00:16:59.280
  • To love people doesn't enable because love has boundaries
  • 00:17:00.030 --> 00:17:03.150
  • and principles.
  • 00:17:03.180 --> 00:17:04.290
  • To love people means you stay present even though you disagree
  • 00:17:05.020 --> 00:17:07.280
  • with them because love integrates, doesn't segregate.
  • 00:17:08.010 --> 00:17:11.080
  • Love holds people together, it doesn't push them away.
  • 00:17:11.110 --> 00:17:15.040
  • And when that happens, things don't get easier,
  • 00:17:15.070 --> 00:17:17.070
  • they get worse.
  • 00:17:17.100 --> 00:17:18.240
  • They get messier, that's what love does.
  • 00:17:18.270 --> 00:17:20.140
  • Love makes things messy.
  • 00:17:20.170 --> 00:17:22.180
  • And so, when we're perfectionists, we want to say,
  • 00:17:22.210 --> 00:17:25.010
  • "I want this clean." And there's for sure times when we need
  • 00:17:25.040 --> 00:17:27.210
  • boundaries.
  • 00:17:27.240 --> 00:17:29.050
  • There's some times you have to make a break with people.
  • 00:17:29.080 --> 00:17:31.070
  • For the most part, love doesn't--Christian love does not
  • 00:17:31.100 --> 00:17:34.020
  • pull away because it gets difficult.
  • 00:17:34.050 --> 00:17:36.050
  • It understands in wisdom that love is messy.
  • 00:17:36.080 --> 00:17:39.160
  • And you understand that.
  • 00:17:39.190 --> 00:17:41.110
  • That's why you're so devoted and so loyal.
  • 00:17:41.140 --> 00:17:43.200
  • You understand that love is proactive.
  • 00:17:43.230 --> 00:17:47.100
  • Love is brave, love is brave.
  • 00:17:47.130 --> 00:17:54.210
  • Whereas many people in society see love as,
  • 00:17:54.240 --> 00:17:57.230
  • "They feel something for me, so they'll come for me."
  • 00:17:57.260 --> 00:18:00.270
  • You say, "I care about them.
  • 00:18:01.000 --> 00:18:03.120
  • I'm going to help them."
  • 00:18:03.150 --> 00:18:05.030
  • And whether it's your spouse, or the stranger
  • 00:18:05.060 --> 00:18:07.110
  • on the street, or some kid you mentor, or whatever it
  • 00:18:07.140 --> 00:18:10.080
  • is that you do, your love is brave, it's proactive,
  • 00:18:10.110 --> 00:18:12.280
  • and I'm proud of you.
  • 00:18:13.010 --> 00:18:14.280
  • Keep doing it.
  • 00:18:15.010 --> 00:18:16.120
  • You're not the kind of person that says, "I got angry.
  • 00:18:16.150 --> 00:18:18.160
  • I got burned. I got upset.
  • 00:18:18.190 --> 00:18:20.150
  • I disagree with this person religiously.
  • 00:18:20.180 --> 00:18:21.250
  • I disagree with them politically.
  • 00:18:21.280 --> 00:18:23.130
  • So, that's it, I'm done with them." That's not you.
  • 00:18:23.160 --> 00:18:25.180
  • You integrate, you don't segregate.
  • 00:18:25.210 --> 00:18:28.000
  • You live with people that are hard to be with sometimes.
  • 00:18:28.030 --> 00:18:31.100
  • And you probably know you're hard to be with sometimes too,
  • 00:18:31.130 --> 00:18:34.040
  • and that's okay.
  • 00:18:34.070 --> 00:18:35.140
  • You--just because you're difficult doesn't mean
  • 00:18:35.170 --> 00:18:38.100
  • you're not worthy of love and affection.
  • 00:18:38.130 --> 00:18:40.110
  • You are.
  • 00:18:40.140 --> 00:18:41.210
  • Every ounce of you is worth being loved.
  • 00:18:41.240 --> 00:18:43.210
  • I'm proud of you.
  • 00:18:43.240 --> 00:18:45.030
  • And you just continue to allow your love to be brave.
  • 00:18:45.060 --> 00:18:48.160
  • Love is always brave.
  • 00:18:48.190 --> 00:18:50.160
  • I remember when Hannah was--when we met, this picture.
  • 00:18:50.190 --> 00:18:56.140
  • So Hannah, so, I was--I had a crush on Hannah for years,
  • 00:18:56.170 --> 00:19:02.240
  • Hannah Presley at the time.
  • 00:19:02.270 --> 00:19:04.210
  • And she was dating some guy.
  • 00:19:04.240 --> 00:19:07.180
  • Anyway.
  • 00:19:07.210 --> 00:19:10.120
  • And I was waiting for them to break up so that I could
  • 00:19:10.150 --> 00:19:13.220
  • sort of swoop in.
  • 00:19:13.250 --> 00:19:15.070
  • But when they broke up, I didn't really swoop in.
  • 00:19:15.100 --> 00:19:17.180
  • I kind of like...
  • 00:19:17.210 --> 00:19:19.290
  • I was like, "Hey, how are you?"
  • 00:19:20.020 --> 00:19:22.000
  • You know, and it was like this for a while.
  • 00:19:22.030 --> 00:19:23.260
  • And finally, one day, I just decided, I was like,
  • 00:19:23.290 --> 00:19:27.090
  • "I'm going to go for it.
  • 00:19:27.120 --> 00:19:28.270
  • I'm going to go for it."
  • 00:19:29.000 --> 00:19:30.130
  • So it was her brother's wedding, and I said--we'd been talking.
  • 00:19:30.160 --> 00:19:35.140
  • It's a long story, but I said to her, "I'll come out to your
  • 00:19:35.170 --> 00:19:38.130
  • brother's wedding if you either give me the first dance
  • 00:19:38.160 --> 00:19:41.070
  • or the last dance."
  • 00:19:41.100 --> 00:19:43.030
  • That was me really throwing it out there.
  • 00:19:43.060 --> 00:19:45.150
  • And guess what she said?
  • 00:19:45.180 --> 00:19:48.000
  • "I'll give you both."
  • 00:19:48.030 --> 00:19:53.190
  • Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
  • 00:19:53.220 --> 00:19:56.150
  • So, I threw it out there, right?
  • 00:19:56.180 --> 00:19:58.050
  • And I got the first and last dance.
  • 00:19:58.080 --> 00:19:59.240
  • And I remember being at that wedding, there were a lot of
  • 00:19:59.270 --> 00:20:02.220
  • guys that had a crush on that hot girl.
  • 00:20:02.250 --> 00:20:04.240
  • And I would, like, kind of stand back, and I would see these guys
  • 00:20:04.270 --> 00:20:07.190
  • kind of like wanting to ask to dance with her,
  • 00:20:07.220 --> 00:20:10.150
  • and they wouldn't.
  • 00:20:10.180 --> 00:20:12.180
  • So, then I would just swoop in again, and we danced all night.
  • 00:20:12.210 --> 00:20:15.250
  • Three years later, we got married.
  • 00:20:15.280 --> 00:20:18.280
  • We didn't even--we weren't even dating there.
  • 00:20:19.010 --> 00:20:20.250
  • We like barely knew each other.
  • 00:20:20.280 --> 00:20:22.160
  • That's crazy.
  • 00:20:22.190 --> 00:20:23.280
  • But I look so good.
  • 00:20:24.010 --> 00:20:25.090
  • I'm such a--look so young, though.
  • 00:20:25.120 --> 00:20:27.110
  • Look at me, my punk-like spiky 90s hair.
  • 00:20:27.140 --> 00:20:30.050
  • Anyway, you know, so many men today, especially young men
  • 00:20:30.080 --> 00:20:35.060
  • today are so scared, you know?
  • 00:20:35.090 --> 00:20:37.110
  • Women too.
  • 00:20:37.140 --> 00:20:39.010
  • Everybody's scared.
  • 00:20:39.040 --> 00:20:40.190
  • If you're a young guy, be brave, you know?
  • 00:20:40.220 --> 00:20:42.170
  • Just ask girls for their numbers, and ask them to dance,
  • 00:20:42.200 --> 00:20:45.140
  • and do brave things.
  • 00:20:45.170 --> 00:20:47.100
  • Men are getting a little cowardly, and it's kind of
  • 00:20:47.130 --> 00:20:49.100
  • bugging me.
  • 00:20:49.130 --> 00:20:50.200
  • And I really believe that that's attractive,
  • 00:20:50.230 --> 00:20:53.030
  • you know, for everybody.
  • 00:20:53.060 --> 00:20:54.210
  • But everybody's attracted to that, whether it's romantic
  • 00:20:54.240 --> 00:20:56.110
  • or whatever.
  • 00:20:56.140 --> 00:20:57.210
  • People like--people like it when you dive into love bravely,
  • 00:20:57.240 --> 00:21:02.010
  • with abandon.
  • 00:21:02.040 --> 00:21:05.000
  • I'm going to choose to help this person or connect with
  • 00:21:05.030 --> 00:21:08.040
  • this person, that's great.
  • 00:21:08.070 --> 00:21:09.180
  • That brings life to people, and that's what you do.
  • 00:21:09.210 --> 00:21:12.040
  • So, keep doing it.
  • 00:21:12.070 --> 00:21:13.180
  • I'm proud of you, I'm proud of you.
  • 00:21:13.210 --> 00:21:15.180
  • Your love is brave.
  • 00:21:15.210 --> 00:21:17.030
  • Everyone, everyone needs to feel pursued, huh?
  • 00:21:17.060 --> 00:21:21.000
  • There's nothing worse than feeling like uninvited,
  • 00:21:21.030 --> 00:21:24.200
  • unpursued, unwanted.
  • 00:21:24.230 --> 00:21:26.200
  • Can I get an amen?
  • 00:21:26.230 --> 00:21:28.010
  • And I'm not just talking about women, I'm talking about
  • 00:21:28.040 --> 00:21:29.230
  • everybody, men too.
  • 00:21:29.260 --> 00:21:31.120
  • Everybody likes to feel wanted, to feel invited.
  • 00:21:31.150 --> 00:21:35.170
  • Even if you say no, it's still nice to be thought of.
  • 00:21:35.200 --> 00:21:39.200
  • So, be proactive in your love.
  • 00:21:39.230 --> 00:21:42.030
  • So, your love is proactive and it's empathetic.
  • 00:21:42.060 --> 00:21:44.250
  • Empathetic means--empathy is medicine for the soul.
  • 00:21:44.280 --> 00:21:50.180
  • Empathy is--empathy is the idea that you really put yourself
  • 00:21:50.210 --> 00:21:57.130
  • in someone's shoes.
  • 00:21:57.160 --> 00:21:59.190
  • Empathy says, "I'm going to understand this person, and I'm
  • 00:21:59.220 --> 00:22:04.150
  • going to do my best to see what it's like, to feel
  • 00:22:04.180 --> 00:22:09.040
  • what they're feeling."
  • 00:22:09.070 --> 00:22:10.220
  • Empathy chooses to be in another's shoes.
  • 00:22:10.250 --> 00:22:14.160
  • Empathy says, "I will give you a piece of my heart,
  • 00:22:14.190 --> 00:22:17.210
  • not a piece of my mind."
  • 00:22:17.240 --> 00:22:21.130
  • Empathy comes from your imagination, understanding
  • 00:22:21.160 --> 00:22:23.260
  • that this person is hurting or suffering.
  • 00:22:23.290 --> 00:22:28.120
  • Hannah and I were going through a hard time with Cohen years
  • 00:22:28.150 --> 00:22:32.290
  • ago, still are.
  • 00:22:33.020 --> 00:22:34.210
  • Cohen hasn't had a seizure in a year, which is great,
  • 00:22:34.240 --> 00:22:36.250
  • but he's still delayed and he has challenges.
  • 00:22:36.280 --> 00:22:39.090
  • But a few years ago, he was--he had a major seizure,
  • 00:22:39.120 --> 00:22:44.240
  • and we thought he'd died actually.
  • 00:22:44.270 --> 00:22:48.010
  • And it was incredibly traumatic for Hannah.
  • 00:22:48.040 --> 00:22:50.270
  • I wasn't there.
  • 00:22:51.000 --> 00:22:52.070
  • I was on a plane to Israel with Chad.
  • 00:22:52.100 --> 00:22:54.250
  • And when we landed in Newark at midnight to catch our connecting
  • 00:22:54.280 --> 00:22:58.010
  • flight, both of us got texts and voicemails on our phones.
  • 00:22:58.040 --> 00:23:02.000
  • And we didn't know if everything was okay, and it was hard to get
  • 00:23:02.030 --> 00:23:05.030
  • a hold of others.
  • 00:23:05.060 --> 00:23:06.240
  • And the long and short of it was I sent Chad onto Israel
  • 00:23:06.270 --> 00:23:09.230
  • to lead that group, and I was going to come back home.
  • 00:23:09.260 --> 00:23:13.160
  • So, that night, it was midnight, the airline gave me a free
  • 00:23:13.190 --> 00:23:16.290
  • ticket home, which was terrific.
  • 00:23:17.020 --> 00:23:19.100
  • It's United Airlines, you're the best.
  • 00:23:19.130 --> 00:23:23.000
  • It's not Airline X.
  • 00:23:23.030 --> 00:23:25.210
  • And--but the plane didn't leave till five.
  • 00:23:25.240 --> 00:23:30.050
  • So, I decided to get some sleep.
  • 00:23:30.080 --> 00:23:32.160
  • I went to this motel.
  • 00:23:32.190 --> 00:23:35.150
  • It was the only place that was available.
  • 00:23:35.180 --> 00:23:37.250
  • There was a big pile, a huge pile of trash in the lot.
  • 00:23:37.280 --> 00:23:40.270
  • And I was exhausted, I hadn't slept at all.
  • 00:23:41.000 --> 00:23:45.020
  • I'm worrying, I'm scared.
  • 00:23:45.050 --> 00:23:47.050
  • I don't know what's going on.
  • 00:23:47.080 --> 00:23:49.110
  • I go to my room, and as I'm walking there, there's like kind
  • 00:23:49.140 --> 00:23:52.050
  • of a gang of guys looking at me in a dangerous way.
  • 00:23:52.080 --> 00:23:55.150
  • There's a woman of the night smoking a cigarette on
  • 00:23:55.180 --> 00:23:57.230
  • the stairway above my room.
  • 00:23:57.260 --> 00:24:00.090
  • I go into my room and there's cracks on the walls,
  • 00:24:00.120 --> 00:24:02.090
  • and the sheets are starchy.
  • 00:24:02.120 --> 00:24:05.100
  • And as I lay there trying to get some sleep, I'm just staring at
  • 00:24:05.130 --> 00:24:08.210
  • the ceiling, kind of teary-eyed, exhausted, worried, trying to
  • 00:24:08.240 --> 00:24:13.160
  • sleep, can't sleep at all.
  • 00:24:13.190 --> 00:24:16.130
  • A couple hours go by, and I just decide I'm going to go back to
  • 00:24:16.160 --> 00:24:19.080
  • the airport.
  • 00:24:19.110 --> 00:24:20.260
  • So, I do, and I fly home.
  • 00:24:20.290 --> 00:24:22.210
  • And coming into the hospital at CHOC
  • 00:24:22.240 --> 00:24:24.250
  • my knuckles dragging on the ground, all I can think about
  • 00:24:24.280 --> 00:24:27.220
  • is Hannah and Cohen.
  • 00:24:27.250 --> 00:24:29.090
  • I'm not thinking about me, I'm thinking about them.
  • 00:24:29.120 --> 00:24:32.070
  • And I see my sister-in-law Bonnie.
  • 00:24:32.100 --> 00:24:36.070
  • And Bonnie comes up to me, and she just gives me this big old
  • 00:24:36.100 --> 00:24:40.000
  • sister hug.
  • 00:24:40.030 --> 00:24:41.130
  • And she looks at me and she says, "Bobby, you have been
  • 00:24:41.160 --> 00:24:45.100
  • through so much.
  • 00:24:45.130 --> 00:24:47.260
  • You've been through so much, and we're so glad you're here.
  • 00:24:47.290 --> 00:24:53.030
  • And we want you to know we're going to be there for you.
  • 00:24:53.060 --> 00:24:56.010
  • You've been up all night, your son is sick,
  • 00:24:56.040 --> 00:24:58.080
  • and your wife is worried.
  • 00:24:58.110 --> 00:25:00.210
  • You've been through so much."
  • 00:25:00.240 --> 00:25:02.170
  • And can I tell you I hadn't even really thought about myself?
  • 00:25:02.200 --> 00:25:06.060
  • But in that moment, it was like--it was like pulling poison
  • 00:25:06.090 --> 00:25:09.100
  • from a wound.
  • 00:25:09.130 --> 00:25:10.280
  • It's like the wound was still there, but there was something
  • 00:25:11.010 --> 00:25:13.170
  • that came out of me that gave me the strength in the midst of
  • 00:25:13.200 --> 00:25:18.100
  • the tragedy to be there for my wife and my son.
  • 00:25:18.130 --> 00:25:22.290
  • Empathy does that, so don't be afraid.
  • 00:25:23.020 --> 00:25:26.010
  • He loves you.
  • 00:25:26.040 --> 00:25:28.010
  • He's bringing these things to you.
  • 00:25:28.040 --> 00:25:29.150
  • If you want it, say amen.
  • 00:25:29.180 --> 00:25:31.030
  • All right.
  • 00:25:31.060 --> 00:25:34.220
  • male announcer: God is moving in miraculous ways
  • 00:25:34.250 --> 00:25:36.180
  • through "Hour of Power."
  • 00:25:36.210 --> 00:25:38.100
  • Thanks to our faithful Eagle Partners who
  • 00:25:38.130 --> 00:25:40.150
  • provide the foundational support our ministry needs, we're able
  • 00:25:40.180 --> 00:25:43.200
  • to continue sharing God's love and dignity with the world.
  • 00:25:43.230 --> 00:25:47.060
  • Please prayerfully consider becoming an Eagle Partner today
  • 00:25:47.090 --> 00:25:50.230
  • with a monthly gift of $50, or a one-time gift of $600.
  • 00:25:50.260 --> 00:25:55.200
  • As a thank you for your gift, Bobby will send you our recent
  • 00:25:55.230 --> 00:25:58.200
  • book, "Releasing Joy."
  • 00:25:58.230 --> 00:26:00.080
  • This leather-bound 52-week devotional
  • 00:26:00.110 --> 00:26:02.190
  • book feature inspirational Scripture and teachings
  • 00:26:02.220 --> 00:26:05.170
  • from Bobby for every week of the year.
  • 00:26:05.200 --> 00:26:08.000
  • As a Golden Eagle partner, with your gift of $100 a month
  • 00:26:08.030 --> 00:26:11.190
  • or a one-time gift of $1200, Bobby will send you a copy of
  • 00:26:11.220 --> 00:26:15.200
  • "Releasing Joy" with your name
  • 00:26:15.230 --> 00:26:17.260
  • beautifully embossed on the cover.
  • 00:26:17.290 --> 00:26:20.090
  • Your steadfast support enables our ministry to maintain
  • 00:26:20.120 --> 00:26:23.060
  • and extend its reach around the world.
  • 00:26:23.090 --> 00:26:26.000
  • Call, write, or go online to become an Eagle partner today.
  • 00:26:26.030 --> 00:26:29.190
  • We are so thankful for you.
  • 00:26:29.220 --> 00:26:34.090
  • Bobby: Hi, friends.
  • 00:26:34.120 --> 00:26:35.240
  • Here at Shepherd's Grove and "Hour of Power," we're
  • 00:26:35.270 --> 00:26:37.200
  • passionate about sharing God's love and dignity with the people
  • 00:26:37.230 --> 00:26:40.110
  • in our community, both here in Orange County
  • 00:26:40.140 --> 00:26:42.130
  • and throughout the world.
  • 00:26:42.160 --> 00:26:43.250
  • And we consider you a valuable part of that community.
  • 00:26:43.280 --> 00:26:46.170
  • Today, I hope you'll consider joining our mailing list so we
  • 00:26:46.200 --> 00:26:49.080
  • can better encourage and connect with you.
  • 00:26:49.110 --> 00:26:51.010
  • We love you, and we're rooting for you.
  • 00:26:51.040 --> 00:26:52.260
  • announcer: To join our mailing list, please call
  • 00:26:52.290 --> 00:26:55.200
  • right or go online today.
  • 00:26:55.230 --> 00:26:58.130
  • To thank you for joining, we'll send you back a special
  • 00:26:58.160 --> 00:27:01.080
  • bookmark featuring the creed of the beloved.
  • 00:27:01.110 --> 00:27:04.070
  • We hope it will remind you how much we love and appreciate
  • 00:27:04.100 --> 00:27:07.000
  • having you as part of our community.
  • 00:27:07.030 --> 00:27:09.080
  • Please call, write, or go online today.
  • 00:27:09.110 --> 00:27:13.200
  • [music]
  • 00:27:13.230 --> 00:27:25.070