Bobby Schuller | TBN

Bobby Schuller

Watch Bobby Schuller
February 1, 2017
27:32

A Simple Guide To Walking On Water: Vulnerability

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Bobby Schuller

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  • Bobby Schuller: Hold your hands up like this.
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  • It's a sign of receiving.
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  • I'm not what I do.
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  • I'm not what I have.
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  • I'm not what people say about me.
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  • I am the beloved of God.
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  • It's who I am.
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  • No one can take it from me.
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  • I don't have to worry.
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  • I don't have to hurry.
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  • I can trust my friend Jesus and share his love with the world.
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  • Thanks. You can be seated.
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  • Today is a little bit of a heavy topic in a way,
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  • but I believe that more than ever our people need faith,
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  • especially when it comes to being vulnerable about our
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  • weaknesses, enduring our weaknesses and challenges and
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  • stepping into the calling that God has for us.
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  • Very simply, today I want to say that,
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  • if you are coming today, maybe have experienced
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  • some tremendous loss.
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  • Maybe you come today and you are kind of like without hope,
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  • maybe you've been, you know, you've had some goal or
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  • something, and it just maybe months even years have gone by
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  • and you haven't attained victory.
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  • Today, I just want to tell you that,
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  • Paul's message to us is that when you are weak,
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  • you are strong.
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  • And one of the reasons I like this passage is it usually,
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  • the Bible usually says something like,
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  • "When I am weak, God is strong."
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  • But sometimes when I am feeling weak that's not exactly what I
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  • need, 'cause we all know that God is strong and that he
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  • invented the universe.
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  • That's pretty great!
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  • I need to know that in my weakness,
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  • it's going to be okay.
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  • And what we are going to learn today is that,
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  • by faith, in our weakest moments,
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  • we have available to us an opportunity
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  • for an eternal gift, to become a greater version of ourselves
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  • in Christ Jesus.
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  • So, I am going to basically say two things today.
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  • Basically, one, that we need to be vulnerable,
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  • and that, two, if you are at the end of your rope,
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  • it's going to be okay.
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  • You actually have great things coming to you.
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  • So, one, I want to first just say this.
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  • God likes using imperfect people.
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  • God likes using imperfect people.
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  • When you read the Scriptures,
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  • you see these guys over and over.
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  • I mean Abraham, the guy like sold his wife to Pharaoh.
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  • I mean, there are a lot of Bible characters.
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  • You look at these guys, they are messed up,
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  • and they have wounds.
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  • God continues to use them even though they have big mess-ups
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  • along the way.
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  • I can tell you that some of the greatest men of God whom I know
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  • personally are imperfect.
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  • And men and women of God, the women are usually a little bit
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  • better though, I am not going to lie.
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  • No, but, God like to use imperfect people,
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  • and the reason I say it that way is because all of us are
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  • imperfect, and when the people that you say,
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  • "he or she is imperfect."
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  • What you are really saying is they are honest.
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  • People that we say, well they are imperfect,
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  • what you are really saying is that they are honest.
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  • They are vulnerable about the fact that they have these
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  • imperfections, these wounds, these weaknesses,
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  • and that they need help.
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  • And those are just the kind of people that God likes to use to
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  • change the world.
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  • God likes to use imperfect people to do impossible things.
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  • If you say, "I'm imperfect.
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  • I am not qualified."
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  • Just because you are unqualified doesn't mean
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  • you're disqualified.
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  • God can use you.
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  • God wants to use you, and sometimes God uses you the most
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  • when you are most in tune with the fact that you have flaws,
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  • mistakes, and yes, even sins.
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  • And they don't need to be hidden,
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  • and that in the midst of your fear,
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  • your doubt, and your imperfection,
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  • there is actually an opportunity for God to do
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  • some amazing things.
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  • I mean, in ministry, trying harder has not made me
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  • a better pastor.
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  • Trusting and letting go has.
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  • Being tough, and being the strong guy hasn't made me a
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  • better friend or a better husband.
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  • Being honest, vulnerable, and being allowed to be seen deeply,
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  • and sometimes being weak in front of my friends and in front
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  • of my wife, has made me a better friend and a better husband.
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  • Being imperfect, and being honestly imperfect is a gift.
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  • God is going to make us perfect, but we have to be honest about
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  • our lack, honest about our need, honest about our flaws,
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  • if he is going to do something great through it.
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  • Sometimes all we need is to just be honest,
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  • vulnerable, and to be seen by God and others.
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  • In 2 Corinthians, Paul is writing,
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  • and one of the things I love about Paul,
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  • is he's just like, very raw, and he is very much himself.
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  • Sometimes when read Paul, it's easy to get offended and we are
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  • like, "That's a little abrasive, that's a little overly direct."
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  • But that's just who Paul is,
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  • and I think there's actually something
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  • to learn about holy living from Paul's style of communicating,
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  • and that he is that he is very honest about what he thinks and
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  • about what he believes, and he is very vulnerable.
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  • So Hannah read this morning from
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  • 2 Corinthians 12, verse 7.
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  • And Paul talks about this thorn.
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  • It is, "Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited.
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  • I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to
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  • torment me."
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  • "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.
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  • But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you,
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  • for my power is made perfect in your weakness."
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  • Actually I heard you, Lisa, say this one time.
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  • You were like, "this is one of those annoying verses that I
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  • don't like."
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  • It's easy to feel that way, where grace is sufficient when
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  • we--one of the things we don't know about this thorn,
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  • theologians love to just kind of, you know,
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  • write about what they think this thorn was.
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  • Some think it was a sin, just some sin in Paul's life he
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  • couldn't overcome for whatever reason,
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  • or some personality flaw.
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  • Some even thought it was an actual person,
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  • that there was some guy in his life,
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  • whatever, that wouldn't leave him alone.
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  • Some people thought it was an actual physical ailment.
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  • But what everybody sort of agrees on is that it's good that
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  • he didn't say what the thorn was because all of us have this
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  • thing jutting in our right.
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  • Who here doesn't have a thorn, raise your hand.
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  • If you are thorn free, raise your hand.
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  • Right!
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  • All of us have these things.
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  • I'm so stoked that not one hand went up.
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  • Usually there is one lone ranger that's like...
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  • Yup! Yeah.
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  • We've all, all of us could say, "Well this is my thorn."
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  • Many of us, whether it's a sin, or if it's a physical ailment,
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  • or whether it's a person, all of us have a thorn in our side,
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  • and Paul says, "I pleaded with the Lord three times,
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  • take this thing away from me!
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  • And God said, 'Grace is sufficient for you.'"
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  • That wouldn't be encouraging to me,
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  • just to be honest with you.
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  • Thank you! But can you do both?
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  • Can you take away and--why do I have to choose?
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  • And my favorite part is when Paul says,
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  • "Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my
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  • weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me."
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  • You boast about your weaknesses?
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  • I am learning to do that, but I am not good at that.
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  • I love to boast about my successes.
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  • I love to not only to boast about,
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  • but exaggerate.
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  • That fish, it was big!
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  • And that's the world's way, isn't it?
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  • The world's way is not to boast about our thorns and our
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  • weaknesses, and our failures, and our insults.
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  • Boast about my insults, boast about the fact that I've been
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  • cast out, boast about the fact that people make fun of me.
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  • Listen, he says, "When I am honest about this thorn in my
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  • life, then my weakness actually becomes my strength."
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  • The world teaches not to do that, right?
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  • The world says, "Put your best foot forward.
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  • Show all of your strengths.
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  • Exaggerate your strengths, and do whatever you can to like PR
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  • the you know what out of your weaknesses.
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  • You know, just spin it and make people just try and understand,
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  • well I have these weaknesses, and they are not that bad,
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  • and the really bad ones, just hide those.
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  • Do not show anybody!"
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  • That is what worldly strength, or society's
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  • strength is, it teaches you, "Put your best foot
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  • forward and hide all the bad stuff."
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  • And that is rooted in the fear of abandonment.
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  • If people see this thing, or know this thing about me,
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  • I wouldn't be acceptable anymore.
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  • I wouldn't be allowed in somebody's circle.
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  • Some of my friends would reject me.
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  • But in the upside-down kingdom of God,
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  • God teaches us, "No, you show your weaknesses,
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  • and you allow me to work in that."
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  • We actually find that when you are vulnerable about your
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  • weaknesses, your sins, your mistakes,
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  • your pain, your loss with people that you love and with God,
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  • that's really when the Holy Spirit goes to work.
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  • Faith allows God to prove.
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  • God gets to be the prover. I don't have to prove anything.
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  • Faith allows God to do the pushing.
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  • I don't have to push anyone or anything along.
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  • Faith is so much more about relaxing than it
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  • is about leaping.
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  • Faith is very much about resting in the fact that this decision
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  • I've made by faith is a good decision,
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  • and I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna chill,
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  • let God do his thing.
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  • That's faith, and that is good!
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  • Faith says, "I don't have to prove anything to anybody.
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  • God already sees me as I am.
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  • I need to be honest and real about who I am truly,
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  • and I need to be seen deeply.
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  • I wanted to share a little bit of my story.
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  • You know I--some of you have known for years and years.
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  • Some of you were at the gathering,
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  • at the Crystal Cathedral, back when I first started ministry.
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  • I'd even been in seminary, I was out of ORU,
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  • ready to go--Hannah and I just--and this testimony is a
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  • living testimony, meaning I am still in this.
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  • I am not at the end of the story.
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  • When I was a kid, I was a very, I am a very tender person.
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  • But when I was a kid, I was so obviously tender.
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  • I would cry when people were hurting.
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  • I told everybody I loved them.
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  • Grocery store, "Here you go son!"
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  • "I love you!"
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  • I used to say when I was 5, I used to go around telling
  • 00:10:19.000 --> 00:10:21.010
  • people, "God loves you, and so do I!"
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  • And I wish I had a video of the 5-year-old version of me
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  • saying that, "God loves you, and so do I!"
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  • And men, you know, everybody gets bullied as kids,
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  • most people do.
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  • Most men and I, boys respond by getting tougher
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  • and more violent.
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  • And that's what I did.
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  • When, you know, my life has been hard.
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  • Everybody's life is hard, and everybody's life is hard in a
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  • different way, and some people's lives are harder than others.
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  • But one thing you can count on; it doesn't matter how rich,
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  • healthy, successful somebody has been,
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  • their life has been hard.
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  • And mine was hard.
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  • And people say, "Didn't you have a rich and famous grandpa?"
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  • I did.
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  • It didn't make my life easier.
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  • If anything, it made it harder.
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  • And I can tell you, my parents were divorced,
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  • and they, both my parents were so loving.
  • 00:11:13.050 --> 00:11:15.130
  • They married people who were loving,
  • 00:11:15.140 --> 00:11:18.190
  • but I constantly was moving and struggled with belonging
  • 00:11:18.200 --> 00:11:23.050
  • in my place.
  • 00:11:23.060 --> 00:11:24.230
  • And, where do I find my place in two families with new kids and,
  • 00:11:24.240 --> 00:11:27.200
  • and then being bullied in school.
  • 00:11:27.210 --> 00:11:31.250
  • When I started playing sports, I finally got tall.
  • 00:11:31.260 --> 00:11:34.100
  • I got a little bigger, and I started fighting.
  • 00:11:34.110 --> 00:11:36.240
  • I found an incredible strength in being tough
  • 00:11:36.250 --> 00:11:41.040
  • and strong and direct.
  • 00:11:41.050 --> 00:11:45.110
  • And what started to happen unfortunately was,
  • 00:11:45.120 --> 00:11:48.070
  • I would withdraw.
  • 00:11:48.080 --> 00:11:50.160
  • You know, like if I was hurt or wounded,
  • 00:11:50.170 --> 00:11:52.060
  • I would withdraw, and I would shut people out,
  • 00:11:52.070 --> 00:11:55.040
  • and I learned very quickly how to cope with disrespect,
  • 00:11:55.050 --> 00:11:59.240
  • being an outsider by becoming numb.
  • 00:11:59.250 --> 00:12:05.190
  • Some of you are this way.
  • 00:12:05.200 --> 00:12:07.020
  • And the first time I realized that,
  • 00:12:07.030 --> 00:12:08.180
  • I was 16 or 17, someone very close to me was dying of cancer.
  • 00:12:08.190 --> 00:12:13.050
  • And they didn't die, but it looked like
  • 00:12:13.060 --> 00:12:14.220
  • they were going to die.
  • 00:12:14.230 --> 00:12:16.250
  • And I felt nothing.
  • 00:12:16.260 --> 00:12:19.020
  • And I knew in my head there was a problem with that.
  • 00:12:19.030 --> 00:12:21.260
  • I was like, I should be really upset about this,
  • 00:12:21.270 --> 00:12:24.240
  • but emotionally it was nothing.
  • 00:12:24.250 --> 00:12:27.260
  • And I actually found that for years,
  • 00:12:27.270 --> 00:12:30.210
  • through adolescence and even my early 20s,
  • 00:12:30.220 --> 00:12:32.220
  • I was very often, though I was a happy guy,
  • 00:12:32.230 --> 00:12:37.230
  • and I think I had joy, there was still a part of my life that was
  • 00:12:37.240 --> 00:12:42.240
  • emotionally numb.
  • 00:12:42.250 --> 00:12:45.090
  • I never cried.
  • 00:12:45.100 --> 00:12:48.040
  • And, I started hanging out with a colleague,
  • 00:12:48.050 --> 00:12:51.040
  • Bill Altier, who is actually a licensed therapist,
  • 00:12:51.050 --> 00:12:54.080
  • but he worked in our counseling center,
  • 00:12:54.090 --> 00:12:57.060
  • and we became friends.
  • 00:12:57.070 --> 00:12:58.170
  • He was an ORU grad like me, another whole man,
  • 00:12:58.180 --> 00:13:00.280
  • you know, and so we, you know, I think he is
  • 00:13:00.290 --> 00:13:03.270
  • 15 years older than me.
  • 00:13:03.280 --> 00:13:05.220
  • And so we started just hanging out getting coffee.
  • 00:13:05.230 --> 00:13:08.050
  • And for like a year and a half we were doing this
  • 00:13:08.060 --> 00:13:10.210
  • before I realized I'd been tricked into therapy.
  • 00:13:10.220 --> 00:13:14.100
  • I didn't know it, but I was getting therapy.
  • 00:13:14.110 --> 00:13:16.200
  • We were going on walks, getting coffee,
  • 00:13:16.210 --> 00:13:18.250
  • and he was actually teaching me to be honest about my wounds and
  • 00:13:18.260 --> 00:13:23.180
  • to be open about my struggles with him,
  • 00:13:23.190 --> 00:13:26.280
  • a person that I loved and trusted.
  • 00:13:26.290 --> 00:13:29.200
  • And he started to teach me how to do this with close friends
  • 00:13:29.210 --> 00:13:32.050
  • and with Hannah, and it took a long time,
  • 00:13:32.060 --> 00:13:36.160
  • but I started, I developed as a discipline,
  • 00:13:36.170 --> 00:13:38.230
  • and it is a discipline.
  • 00:13:38.240 --> 00:13:40.060
  • It's a learned skill.
  • 00:13:40.070 --> 00:13:42.130
  • I learned how first, how to be open and honest about the stuff
  • 00:13:42.140 --> 00:13:48.070
  • that bothered me.
  • 00:13:48.080 --> 00:13:49.180
  • I learned very quickly--learned very slowly that Hannah didn't
  • 00:13:49.190 --> 00:13:54.030
  • need me to just worry for her and not tell her things so that
  • 00:13:54.040 --> 00:13:56.240
  • I could be strong but instead tell her that
  • 00:13:56.250 --> 00:13:58.220
  • I was really worried about these things.
  • 00:13:58.230 --> 00:14:01.010
  • And it took about 6 years probably,
  • 00:14:01.020 --> 00:14:03.250
  • maybe 8 even, where I started to come back to life
  • 00:14:03.260 --> 00:14:07.150
  • emotionally, where I could physically feel it.
  • 00:14:07.160 --> 00:14:10.070
  • And I mention it as akin to like,
  • 00:14:10.080 --> 00:14:12.210
  • if you are sleeping on your arm and you wake up to go to the
  • 00:14:12.220 --> 00:14:16.060
  • bathroom or something and it just like,
  • 00:14:16.070 --> 00:14:17.230
  • your arm is like, and it's like, "I hate that feeling."
  • 00:14:17.240 --> 00:14:22.010
  • And you constantly start to rub it.
  • 00:14:22.020 --> 00:14:24.120
  • If you can move it, you move it.
  • 00:14:24.130 --> 00:14:25.250
  • And the first, you get a little bit of tingling,
  • 00:14:25.260 --> 00:14:27.270
  • but usually the first feeling is what,
  • 00:14:27.280 --> 00:14:29.130
  • it's pain isn't it.
  • 00:14:29.140 --> 00:14:31.070
  • That whoosh, it's like, "It hurts,
  • 00:14:31.080 --> 00:14:32.260
  • it hurts bad," and it hurts for several minutes.
  • 00:14:32.270 --> 00:14:35.150
  • And it's just like, "Man, this hurts!"
  • 00:14:35.160 --> 00:14:37.090
  • And then the tingling, and then it kind of cools off,
  • 00:14:37.100 --> 00:14:39.240
  • and then you're like, "Ah, I got it back!"
  • 00:14:39.250 --> 00:14:41.080
  • And, even still, it can feel sore around the elbows,
  • 00:14:41.090 --> 00:14:43.030
  • around the muscles.
  • 00:14:43.040 --> 00:14:44.250
  • And that's what it was like for me.
  • 00:14:44.260 --> 00:14:46.060
  • It was painful.
  • 00:14:46.070 --> 00:14:48.020
  • By learning over years to be open and honest about who I was,
  • 00:14:48.030 --> 00:14:52.080
  • and open and honest about my trials,
  • 00:14:52.090 --> 00:14:53.290
  • my fears, my challenges, I started to come to life
  • 00:14:54.000 --> 00:14:56.190
  • emotionally, and it was doing it in very embarrassing ways.
  • 00:14:56.200 --> 00:15:01.020
  • So the first time,
  • 00:15:01.030 --> 00:15:03.260
  • actually the first time I was in a car telling a funny story from
  • 00:15:03.270 --> 00:15:06.260
  • my past, I started weeping uncontrollably,
  • 00:15:06.270 --> 00:15:10.150
  • and I didn't know what was going on.
  • 00:15:10.160 --> 00:15:12.180
  • So I went on like to pray and then kept weeping.
  • 00:15:12.190 --> 00:15:14.280
  • I was very confused.
  • 00:15:14.290 --> 00:15:16.170
  • And then, around the same time, I was in Holland,
  • 00:15:16.180 --> 00:15:23.110
  • and I was in, I think it was Houda,
  • 00:15:23.120 --> 00:15:25.230
  • preaching in a gigantic cathedral a thousand years old,
  • 00:15:25.240 --> 00:15:30.020
  • and it was filled.
  • 00:15:30.030 --> 00:15:31.250
  • Every seat was filled.
  • 00:15:31.260 --> 00:15:33.070
  • Four thousand people, they came out just to hear me preach.
  • 00:15:33.080 --> 00:15:36.220
  • And it was amazing.
  • 00:15:36.230 --> 00:15:39.060
  • And I had Jan here translating for me.
  • 00:15:39.070 --> 00:15:41.240
  • And I started to tell a fun light-hearted story about my
  • 00:15:41.250 --> 00:15:47.070
  • grandma who had just died.
  • 00:15:47.080 --> 00:15:50.180
  • And I was talking about her as a 26- year-old,
  • 00:15:50.190 --> 00:15:53.120
  • pregnant, new mother.
  • 00:15:53.130 --> 00:15:56.180
  • My sister Christina, who kind of looks like my grandmother when
  • 00:15:56.190 --> 00:15:59.040
  • she was young, was pregnant at the time,
  • 00:15:59.050 --> 00:16:01.090
  • too, and was also 26 or 28, or something.
  • 00:16:01.100 --> 00:16:03.200
  • And something about that combination of images and that
  • 00:16:03.210 --> 00:16:07.260
  • story, I just locked up because I'd never even thought of my
  • 00:16:07.270 --> 00:16:12.210
  • grandma as a young woman.
  • 00:16:12.220 --> 00:16:14.110
  • So there was this vivid, it was weird,
  • 00:16:14.120 --> 00:16:17.180
  • like I used Christina's, the picture of Christina in my head,
  • 00:16:17.190 --> 00:16:21.110
  • to make it like, that's what my grandma looked like,
  • 00:16:21.120 --> 00:16:23.160
  • and that this image of my grandma who just passed,
  • 00:16:23.170 --> 00:16:26.180
  • being pregnant just overwhelmed me with grief and sorrow in a
  • 00:16:26.190 --> 00:16:32.280
  • good way, and I locked up, and I wept in front of 4.000
  • 00:16:32.290 --> 00:16:38.240
  • Dutch people who are very stoic.
  • 00:16:38.250 --> 00:16:41.070
  • If you know the Dutch, men especially,
  • 00:16:41.080 --> 00:16:43.100
  • they were like, they were probably embarrassed for me.
  • 00:16:43.110 --> 00:16:47.200
  • And it wasn't like single preacher tear,
  • 00:16:47.210 --> 00:16:52.010
  • you know.
  • 00:16:52.020 --> 00:16:53.200
  • It was like, crying, I can't talk...
  • 00:16:53.210 --> 00:16:59.160
  • It had to be a good 5 or 10 minutes,
  • 00:16:59.170 --> 00:17:05.090
  • but I had to say, "Thank you, Lord!"
  • 00:17:05.100 --> 00:17:07.000
  • And it was actually maybe 2 years ago,
  • 00:17:07.010 --> 00:17:08.100
  • in this building, not even that long ago,
  • 00:17:08.110 --> 00:17:10.060
  • maybe a year and a half ago, I remember crying
  • 00:17:10.070 --> 00:17:13.050
  • in a sermon about something,
  • 00:17:13.060 --> 00:17:15.000
  • and the whole time as I was crying,
  • 00:17:15.010 --> 00:17:16.190
  • I was apologizing to you.
  • 00:17:16.200 --> 00:17:18.010
  • "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
  • 00:17:18.020 --> 00:17:19.150
  • I never cry, I never cry."
  • 00:17:19.160 --> 00:17:21.210
  • And what was that? It was shame.
  • 00:17:21.220 --> 00:17:24.100
  • I was feeling shame about, I was feeling shame about
  • 00:17:24.110 --> 00:17:28.160
  • the fact that I could actually have grief or emotions.
  • 00:17:28.170 --> 00:17:33.220
  • And I just want to say to you that I am
  • 00:17:35.190 --> 00:17:37.120
  • still learning to do this.
  • 00:17:37.130 --> 00:17:38.260
  • But I've learned that vulnerability and receiving
  • 00:17:38.270 --> 00:17:44.240
  • empathy has completely, radically transformed my
  • 00:17:44.250 --> 00:17:51.130
  • discipleship.
  • 00:17:51.140 --> 00:17:53.090
  • It's made me a better friend, a better husband,
  • 00:17:53.100 --> 00:17:55.110
  • a better leader, and a better pastor.
  • 00:17:55.120 --> 00:17:57.130
  • And I learned very quickly that the people don't need to see the
  • 00:17:57.140 --> 00:18:03.020
  • tough version of me, they need to see the real me,
  • 00:18:03.030 --> 00:18:05.220
  • and I'm a very tender-hearted person.
  • 00:18:05.230 --> 00:18:09.010
  • I found that, when I try to be strong,
  • 00:18:09.020 --> 00:18:11.060
  • I'm actually very weak and wimpy.
  • 00:18:11.070 --> 00:18:13.150
  • When I am weak, I'm actually very strong,
  • 00:18:13.160 --> 00:18:15.240
  • and so are you.
  • 00:18:15.250 --> 00:18:17.040
  • In your weakness you're going to find your greatest strengths.
  • 00:18:17.050 --> 00:18:20.010
  • In your honesty and vulnerability,
  • 00:18:20.020 --> 00:18:22.180
  • in allowing yourself to be seen deeply by the people you love in
  • 00:18:22.190 --> 00:18:26.190
  • this life, only then will you connect deeply with them.
  • 00:18:26.200 --> 00:18:30.100
  • Allow yourself not to be seen by everybody,
  • 00:18:30.110 --> 00:18:33.020
  • but by the people you want to connect deeply with.
  • 00:18:33.030 --> 00:18:35.270
  • Allow yourself to be seen by others.
  • 00:18:35.280 --> 00:18:37.210
  • Be vulnerable!
  • 00:18:37.220 --> 00:18:39.090
  • Be honest!
  • 00:18:39.100 --> 00:18:41.030
  • Open your life!
  • 00:18:41.040 --> 00:18:42.210
  • Open your heart!
  • 00:18:42.220 --> 00:18:44.060
  • Open your mind to the people you do life with.
  • 00:18:44.070 --> 00:18:46.250
  • When you start to do that, you will remove shame from your
  • 00:18:46.260 --> 00:18:50.110
  • life, and trust me shame is the number one thing that is robbing
  • 00:18:50.120 --> 00:18:55.110
  • your life of joy.
  • 00:18:55.120 --> 00:18:57.120
  • Shame is the number one thing that is keeping you from
  • 00:18:57.130 --> 00:19:00.150
  • connecting deeply with others.
  • 00:19:00.160 --> 00:19:02.110
  • Shame is the thing that is robbing you most from victory
  • 00:19:02.120 --> 00:19:05.240
  • and from connecting deeply with God and others.
  • 00:19:05.250 --> 00:19:08.250
  • And shame is not guilt.
  • 00:19:08.260 --> 00:19:10.060
  • I doesn't say, "I messed up!"
  • 00:19:10.070 --> 00:19:11.180
  • Shame says, "I am a mess up!"
  • 00:19:11.190 --> 00:19:13.100
  • Shame says, "People wouldn't accept me if they knew
  • 00:19:13.110 --> 00:19:15.230
  • who I really am."
  • 00:19:15.240 --> 00:19:17.080
  • Abandon that shame because shame is the greatest barrier to
  • 00:19:17.090 --> 00:19:21.030
  • connecting deeply and living in victory.
  • 00:19:21.040 --> 00:19:24.150
  • Brene Brown is an expert on this subject and he said,
  • 00:19:24.160 --> 00:19:27.090
  • "If I were to create a petri dish to make a person feel
  • 00:19:27.100 --> 00:19:31.120
  • shame, it would be these three things: silence,
  • 00:19:31.130 --> 00:19:34.260
  • secrecy, and judgement."
  • 00:19:34.270 --> 00:19:38.050
  • Silence, secrecy, and judgement.
  • 00:19:38.060 --> 00:19:42.050
  • I think there are three movements that you can make.
  • 00:19:42.060 --> 00:19:45.100
  • To walk in victory and walk in faith and feel completely alive
  • 00:19:45.110 --> 00:19:50.230
  • in the Holy Spirit, first move from silence to honesty.
  • 00:19:50.240 --> 00:19:56.100
  • Some of you are trying to be peace makers too much.
  • 00:19:58.200 --> 00:20:04.240
  • If you never feel angry, or never feel anger,
  • 00:20:04.250 --> 00:20:07.290
  • you probably feel a lot of shame.
  • 00:20:08.000 --> 00:20:10.160
  • And don't feel shame about feeling shame, by the way.
  • 00:20:10.170 --> 00:20:12.150
  • That should only make it worse.
  • 00:20:12.160 --> 00:20:14.060
  • So Hannah is a peace maker, and I asked her if
  • 00:20:14.070 --> 00:20:16.270
  • I could tell this story.
  • 00:20:16.280 --> 00:20:18.210
  • Hannah is a peace maker and I think,
  • 00:20:18.220 --> 00:20:21.160
  • and sort of her own self-discovery,
  • 00:20:21.170 --> 00:20:24.000
  • what I think she realized is that she probably felt a lot of
  • 00:20:24.010 --> 00:20:27.000
  • shame and didn't feel okay telling people when she was
  • 00:20:27.010 --> 00:20:32.160
  • upset, or sticking up for herself, or even telling
  • 00:20:32.170 --> 00:20:34.130
  • me or friends that she felt disrespected.
  • 00:20:34.140 --> 00:20:37.170
  • So she was learning that she needed to do that more.
  • 00:20:37.180 --> 00:20:40.130
  • So she employed this, and it's so cute,
  • 00:20:40.140 --> 00:20:43.250
  • I love that kind of like.
  • 00:20:43.260 --> 00:20:45.110
  • She employed this discipline where,
  • 00:20:45.120 --> 00:20:46.240
  • like, when somebody did something rude to her during the
  • 00:20:46.250 --> 00:20:49.130
  • day, like bumped into her, like a little cut in line or
  • 00:20:49.140 --> 00:20:53.240
  • something, she wouldn't say it, but she'd think in her head,
  • 00:20:53.250 --> 00:20:56.190
  • "Don't mess with me!"
  • 00:20:56.200 --> 00:21:00.130
  • I love it.
  • 00:21:00.140 --> 00:21:01.240
  • "Don't mess with me!"
  • 00:21:01.250 --> 00:21:03.140
  • And actually, since she started to do this,
  • 00:21:03.150 --> 00:21:04.280
  • it allowed to just basically take a minute and recognize,
  • 00:21:04.290 --> 00:21:08.050
  • "I feel angry about that, and that's okay!"
  • 00:21:08.060 --> 00:21:10.030
  • When you stop doing that, if you don't say,
  • 00:21:10.040 --> 00:21:13.100
  • "I feel angry."
  • 00:21:13.110 --> 00:21:15.060
  • What you're really doing is, that shame is actually anger
  • 00:21:15.070 --> 00:21:16.230
  • turned inward, and when somebody bumps into you and spills coffee
  • 00:21:16.240 --> 00:21:20.130
  • on your dress, then you say to them,
  • 00:21:20.140 --> 00:21:23.150
  • "Oh sorry!"
  • 00:21:23.160 --> 00:21:25.080
  • Like, why would you do that?
  • 00:21:25.090 --> 00:21:28.140
  • It was their fault!
  • 00:21:28.150 --> 00:21:30.130
  • This is a challenge we're talking.
  • 00:21:30.140 --> 00:21:31.240
  • I don't have this problem.
  • 00:21:31.250 --> 00:21:33.050
  • I go the other way. I need to be more meek.
  • 00:21:33.060 --> 00:21:35.150
  • But there is a sort of like, I think for all of us when we do
  • 00:21:35.160 --> 00:21:40.280
  • that, there's a sort of like shame component to that.
  • 00:21:40.290 --> 00:21:44.250
  • This person is more important than me,
  • 00:21:44.260 --> 00:21:47.210
  • and they are not.
  • 00:21:47.220 --> 00:21:49.220
  • You are very important. Did you know that?
  • 00:21:49.230 --> 00:21:51.130
  • You are very important to God.
  • 00:21:51.140 --> 00:21:53.120
  • You deserve dignity, and you deserve respect.
  • 00:21:53.130 --> 00:21:55.240
  • You do.
  • 00:21:55.250 --> 00:21:57.060
  • My deepest belief is that every human being deserves dignity and
  • 00:21:57.070 --> 00:22:00.140
  • is loved by God.
  • 00:22:00.150 --> 00:22:02.170
  • So have faith.
  • 00:22:02.180 --> 00:22:04.100
  • And finally, move away from judgement.
  • 00:22:04.110 --> 00:22:07.280
  • Move from judgement to grace and empathy.
  • 00:22:07.290 --> 00:22:11.180
  • Grace is not mercy, by the way.
  • 00:22:11.190 --> 00:22:13.190
  • Did you know that?
  • 00:22:13.200 --> 00:22:15.050
  • Grace is merciful, but grace is an overflow of God's love and
  • 00:22:15.060 --> 00:22:18.260
  • power, and compassion in my life.
  • 00:22:18.270 --> 00:22:21.110
  • Jesus experienced grace when he was baptized.
  • 00:22:21.120 --> 00:22:24.000
  • If you don't understand that, you don't understand grace.
  • 00:22:24.010 --> 00:22:26.180
  • Jesus, when he was baptized, the heavens opened and the Father
  • 00:22:26.190 --> 00:22:31.010
  • said, "This is my Beloved Son in whom I am well pleased."
  • 00:22:31.020 --> 00:22:35.230
  • God says that over you.
  • 00:22:35.240 --> 00:22:37.190
  • You are his beloved sons and his beloved daughters.
  • 00:22:37.200 --> 00:22:40.120
  • He is pleased in you.
  • 00:22:40.130 --> 00:22:43.030
  • You know, I take pleasure in my children and they haven't really
  • 00:22:43.040 --> 00:22:45.260
  • done anything.
  • 00:22:45.270 --> 00:22:47.220
  • They haven't done anything.
  • 00:22:47.230 --> 00:22:49.090
  • They are 4 and 6.
  • 00:22:49.100 --> 00:22:50.230
  • They haven't done, you know, some pictures and stuff.
  • 00:22:50.240 --> 00:22:53.040
  • Right?
  • 00:22:53.050 --> 00:22:55.090
  • But I am pleased with them.
  • 00:22:55.100 --> 00:22:57.140
  • I am really pleased with them.
  • 00:22:57.150 --> 00:22:58.240
  • They are great!
  • 00:22:58.250 --> 00:23:00.100
  • Not because of what they do, not because of what they have,
  • 00:23:00.110 --> 00:23:03.080
  • not because of their reputations.
  • 00:23:03.090 --> 00:23:04.250
  • I just love them.
  • 00:23:04.260 --> 00:23:06.080
  • Would you stand with me?
  • 00:23:06.090 --> 00:23:07.190
  • Band would you come forward.
  • 00:23:07.200 --> 00:23:09.000
  • We're going to pray together.
  • 00:23:09.010 --> 00:23:10.170
  • Please close your eyes.
  • 00:23:10.180 --> 00:23:12.000
  • Turn your chin up. Don't put your head down.
  • 00:23:12.010 --> 00:23:14.210
  • Chin down is a sign of repentance.
  • 00:23:14.220 --> 00:23:18.080
  • We're not her--we repent of our sins,
  • 00:23:18.090 --> 00:23:20.230
  • but today we are going to receive God's grace.
  • 00:23:20.240 --> 00:23:23.000
  • Can we just receive it from you Lord?
  • 00:23:23.010 --> 00:23:24.100
  • We thank you.
  • 00:23:24.110 --> 00:23:25.200
  • Your grace is sufficient.
  • 00:23:25.210 --> 00:23:27.020
  • The very overflow of your Person is here.
  • 00:23:27.030 --> 00:23:29.180
  • So we receive that.
  • 00:23:29.190 --> 00:23:30.280
  • We're not worrying, We're not going to hurry.
  • 00:23:30.290 --> 00:23:33.050
  • We're not going to be stressed out.
  • 00:23:33.060 --> 00:23:34.150
  • We're going to trust God, that you will carry us through to
  • 00:23:34.160 --> 00:23:37.160
  • victory, that every day matters, and that we are uniquely loved
  • 00:23:37.170 --> 00:23:40.210
  • by you.
  • 00:23:40.220 --> 00:23:42.040
  • And we just say, "Thank you!"
  • 00:23:42.050 --> 00:23:43.160
  • We're so grateful for that, and we love you God,
  • 00:23:43.170 --> 00:23:45.230
  • in Jesus' name.
  • 00:23:45.240 --> 00:23:47.040
  • And all God's people said, "Amen!"
  • 00:23:47.050 --> 00:23:50.070
  • Bobby: Here's another letter that we got,
  • 00:23:53.110 --> 00:23:54.220
  • thanks to your support.
  • 00:23:54.230 --> 00:23:56.120
  • female: "Dear Bobby, at 19,
  • 00:23:56.130 --> 00:23:59.120
  • my life collapsed.
  • 00:23:59.130 --> 00:24:00.250
  • I was in an unhealthy relationship with an older man,
  • 00:24:00.260 --> 00:24:03.170
  • and then my father died from cancer.
  • 00:24:03.180 --> 00:24:05.180
  • They were my darkest days.
  • 00:24:05.190 --> 00:24:07.200
  • I felt paralyzed and apathetic.
  • 00:24:07.210 --> 00:24:10.020
  • When I was at my lowest, my boyfriend started to use me.
  • 00:24:10.030 --> 00:24:13.240
  • He complains about me, and in the name of spicing up our
  • 00:24:13.250 --> 00:24:16.250
  • relationship, he pressed me to be intimate with other men.
  • 00:24:16.260 --> 00:24:19.160
  • I felt numb and worthless.
  • 00:24:19.170 --> 00:24:23.010
  • Even as I write this, I feel that shame for allowing him
  • 00:24:23.020 --> 00:24:25.280
  • to do this.
  • 00:24:25.290 --> 00:24:28.030
  • I fantasized about ending my life to escape the suffering.
  • 00:24:28.040 --> 00:24:31.080
  • During this time, I met a guy who saw me as a person and made
  • 00:24:31.090 --> 00:24:35.020
  • me happy.
  • 00:24:35.030 --> 00:24:36.140
  • Because of him, I finally left my abusive boyfriend.
  • 00:24:36.150 --> 00:24:39.150
  • We started a new life in a new town,
  • 00:24:39.160 --> 00:24:41.050
  • and he proposed months later, but still inside
  • 00:24:41.060 --> 00:24:44.150
  • I felt really hurt.
  • 00:24:44.160 --> 00:24:46.110
  • I struggled because I didn't deserve this life.
  • 00:24:46.120 --> 00:24:48.210
  • When someone was kind to me, it hurt me as much as it healed me.
  • 00:24:48.220 --> 00:24:52.130
  • I felt I made too many mistakes to be loved.
  • 00:24:52.140 --> 00:24:54.260
  • My life had turned around, but my spirit was broken.
  • 00:24:54.270 --> 00:24:57.290
  • I was curious about religion but didn't dare pray
  • 00:24:58.000 --> 00:25:01.080
  • or go to church.
  • 00:25:01.090 --> 00:25:02.280
  • What God would want me as his follower?
  • 00:25:02.290 --> 00:25:05.120
  • Then I found "Hour of Power."
  • 00:25:05.130 --> 00:25:08.130
  • Your sermons healed my spirit and lifted the burden
  • 00:25:08.140 --> 00:25:10.210
  • of my past.
  • 00:25:10.220 --> 00:25:12.080
  • I still remember tears of relief running down my cheeks when you
  • 00:25:12.090 --> 00:25:14.220
  • said that every sinner has a future and every saint has a
  • 00:25:14.230 --> 00:25:17.080
  • past and that God does not love us as we should be
  • 00:25:17.090 --> 00:25:20.150
  • but just as we are.
  • 00:25:20.160 --> 00:25:22.120
  • I realized that God always loved me and would forgive me.
  • 00:25:22.130 --> 00:25:25.110
  • It still thrills me that he is so good.
  • 00:25:25.120 --> 00:25:28.020
  • After we married, my first wish I ever prayed for was fulfilled
  • 00:25:28.030 --> 00:25:31.200
  • with the birth of our son Hendrik.
  • 00:25:31.210 --> 00:25:33.290
  • I pray for him every night.
  • 00:25:34.000 --> 00:25:36.010
  • He is a precious gift from God.
  • 00:25:36.020 --> 00:25:37.270
  • I no longer feel like a bad person.
  • 00:25:37.280 --> 00:25:40.170
  • I feel beloved and that I'm allowed to experience happiness.
  • 00:25:40.180 --> 00:25:43.170
  • I am so, so grateful.
  • 00:25:43.180 --> 00:25:46.220
  • Thank you."
  • 00:25:46.230 --> 00:25:49.260
  • Hannah Schuller: We're not using your name on air,
  • 00:25:49.270 --> 00:25:51.110
  • but one highlight of my Holland trip was getting to meet you and
  • 00:25:51.120 --> 00:25:53.160
  • your husband.
  • 00:25:53.170 --> 00:25:54.290
  • You are brave, and we are honored to have you as part of
  • 00:25:55.000 --> 00:25:58.090
  • the "Hour of Power" family.
  • 00:25:58.100 --> 00:26:00.120
  • Bobby: That's right. It was a highlight for me too.
  • 00:26:00.130 --> 00:26:02.210
  • And for everybody else that's watching,
  • 00:26:02.220 --> 00:26:04.060
  • this is just one of many stories of people that are deeply
  • 00:26:04.070 --> 00:26:06.260
  • touched because of your generosity.
  • 00:26:06.270 --> 00:26:08.260
  • If people stopped giving to this ministry,
  • 00:26:08.270 --> 00:26:10.100
  • this goes off the air.
  • 00:26:10.110 --> 00:26:11.280
  • We don't help people anymore, but because of you,
  • 00:26:11.290 --> 00:26:13.220
  • we're changing the world.
  • 00:26:13.230 --> 00:26:15.050
  • Hannah: Yes, thank you for your faithfulness.
  • 00:26:15.060 --> 00:26:17.140
  • And even if you can't give, write to us.
  • 00:26:17.150 --> 00:26:19.100
  • Be brave!
  • 00:26:19.110 --> 00:26:20.220
  • We want to hear your story.
  • 00:26:20.230 --> 00:26:22.260
  • And remember that God loves you, and so do we.
  • 00:26:22.270 --> 00:26:25.100
  • male announcer: To celebrate the 60th anniversary of our
  • 00:26:25.110 --> 00:26:27.250
  • ministry, we have remade this beloved "God loves you and so do
  • 00:26:27.260 --> 00:26:32.090
  • I" necklace.
  • 00:26:32.100 --> 00:26:33.200
  • Today, when you donate $60 or more,
  • 00:26:33.210 --> 00:26:36.210
  • we'll send you one as a small thank you
  • 00:26:36.220 --> 00:26:38.250
  • for supporting our ministry.
  • 00:26:38.260 --> 00:26:40.180
  • We hope it reminds you that you are loved and valued
  • 00:26:40.190 --> 00:26:43.240
  • by God and us.
  • 00:26:43.250 --> 00:26:46.140
  • Call, write, or go online now.
  • 00:26:46.150 --> 00:26:51.190
  • [music]
  • 00:26:55.230 --> 00:27:10.020