Praise | November 2, 2017 | TBN

Praise | November 2, 2017

Watch Praise | November 2, 2017
November 2, 2017
57:31

Bobby Schuller hosts Jefferson & Alyssa Bethke.

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Praise | November 2, 2017

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  • MUSIC
  • 00:00:01.080 --> 00:00:04.080
  • - COMING UP ON PRAISE...
  • 00:00:04.080 --> 00:00:05.220
  • - WELCOME TO PRAISE!
  • 00:00:05.220 --> 00:00:06.290
  • WE'RE SO GLAD YOU'RE JOINING US.
  • 00:00:06.290 --> 00:00:08.020
  • JEFFERSON AND ALYSSA BETHKE, WHO
  • 00:00:08.020 --> 00:00:09.220
  • HAVE FLOWN ALL THE WAY IN FROM
  • 00:00:09.220 --> 00:00:10.130
  • MAUI-
  • 00:00:10.130 --> 00:00:12.030
  • THIS VIDEO YOU DID, "WHY I HATE
  • 00:00:12.030 --> 00:00:13.110
  • RELIGION BUT LOVE JESUS" WENT
  • 00:00:13.110 --> 00:00:14.130
  • VIRAL.
  • 00:00:14.130 --> 00:00:15.250
  • - IT'S KIND OF CRAZY TO THINK
  • 00:00:15.250 --> 00:00:16.180
  • ABOUT HIM.
  • 00:00:16.180 --> 00:00:17.200
  • IT'S HARD TO CONCEPTUALIZE WHEN
  • 00:00:17.200 --> 00:00:18.120
  • IT'S JUST A LITTLE DOT ON A
  • 00:00:18.120 --> 00:00:19.030
  • SCREEN.
  • 00:00:19.030 --> 00:00:20.020
  • - YOU GUYS HAVE A NEW BOOK,
  • 00:00:20.020 --> 00:00:20.240
  • "LOVE THAT LASTS."
  • 00:00:20.240 --> 00:00:21.270
  • - STAYING VULNERABLE IN
  • 00:00:21.270 --> 00:00:23.030
  • MARRIAGE IS THE KEY.
  • 00:00:23.030 --> 00:00:24.020
  • AND THAT'S WHAT BUILDS TRUST.
  • 00:00:24.020 --> 00:00:24.290
  • - THE STRONGEST PART OF
  • 00:00:24.290 --> 00:00:25.250
  • COVENANT IS THE PROMISE.
  • 00:00:25.250 --> 00:00:27.130
  • - GOD MADE MARRIAGE THAT, NOT A
  • 00:00:27.130 --> 00:00:28.090
  • CONTRACT.
  • 00:00:28.090 --> 00:00:29.160
  • - FIND OUT HOW YOU CAN
  • 00:00:29.160 --> 00:00:31.000
  • EXPERIENCE LOVE THAT LASTS, WITH
  • 00:00:31.000 --> 00:00:32.110
  • JEFFERSON AND ALYSSA BETHKE AND
  • 00:00:32.110 --> 00:00:33.250
  • HOST, BOBBY SCHULLER...
  • 00:00:33.250 --> 00:00:35.000
  • NEXT ON PRAISE!
  • 00:00:35.000 --> 00:00:37.290
  • WELCOME TO PRAISE!
  • 00:00:59.280 --> 00:01:02.040
  • WE'RE SO GLAD YOU'RE JOINING US.
  • 00:01:02.040 --> 00:01:03.250
  • I'M BOBBY SCHULLER, HOST OF HOUR
  • 00:01:03.250 --> 00:01:05.050
  • OF POWER RIGHT HERE ON TBN EVERY
  • 00:01:05.050 --> 00:01:06.010
  • SATURDAY NIGHT.
  • 00:01:06.010 --> 00:01:08.030
  • AND, GOSH, WE'RE SO GLAD YOU'RE
  • 00:01:08.030 --> 00:01:08.250
  • JOINING US.
  • 00:01:08.250 --> 00:01:10.060
  • WE BELIEVE GOD HAS A WORD FOR
  • 00:01:10.060 --> 00:01:11.020
  • YOU TONIGHT.
  • 00:01:11.020 --> 00:01:12.250
  • FIRST OF ALL, LET ME JUST SAY TO
  • 00:01:12.250 --> 00:01:14.010
  • YOU, THAT YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU
  • 00:01:14.010 --> 00:01:15.120
  • DO, YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU HAVE,
  • 00:01:15.120 --> 00:01:16.110
  • AND YOU'RE NOT WHAT PEOPLE SAY
  • 00:01:16.110 --> 00:01:17.070
  • ABOUT YOU.
  • 00:01:17.070 --> 00:01:18.090
  • YOU ARE GOD'S BELOVED SON OR
  • 00:01:18.090 --> 00:01:19.040
  • BELOVED DAUGHTER.
  • 00:01:19.040 --> 00:01:20.280
  • AND WE WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT
  • 00:01:20.280 --> 00:01:22.040
  • GOD'S NOT GIVEN UP ON YOU.
  • 00:01:22.040 --> 00:01:24.020
  • MAYBE TONIGHT YOU'RE JUST
  • 00:01:24.020 --> 00:01:25.230
  • FLIPPING THE CHANNELS, AND YOU
  • 00:01:25.230 --> 00:01:26.260
  • WOUND UP HERE.
  • 00:01:26.260 --> 00:01:28.120
  • WELL, WE HAVE SOME ENCOURAGING
  • 00:01:28.120 --> 00:01:30.000
  • GUESTS I KNOW ARE GOING TO BRING
  • 00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:30.270
  • LIFE TO WHATEVER IT IS YOU'RE
  • 00:01:30.270 --> 00:01:31.190
  • GOING THROUGH.
  • 00:01:31.190 --> 00:01:33.100
  • TODAY WE ARE JUST SO EXCITED TO
  • 00:01:33.100 --> 00:01:34.260
  • HAVE JEFFERSON AND ALYSSA BETHKE
  • 00:01:34.260 --> 00:01:36.060
  • WHO HAVE FLOWN ALL THE WAY IN
  • 00:01:36.060 --> 00:01:36.270
  • FROM MAUI.
  • 00:01:36.270 --> 00:01:39.030
  • AND YOU GUYS HAVE A NEW BOOK,
  • 00:01:39.030 --> 00:01:40.160
  • "LOVE THAT LASTS," AN AWESOME
  • 00:01:40.160 --> 00:01:41.270
  • BOOK, I WAS READING IT THIS
  • 00:01:41.270 --> 00:01:42.220
  • MORNING.
  • 00:01:42.220 --> 00:01:44.220
  • BUT THE BOOK IS ABOUT SO MUCH
  • 00:01:44.220 --> 00:01:46.220
  • MORE THAN RELATIONSHIPS, IT'S
  • 00:01:46.220 --> 00:01:48.200
  • ABOUT REALLY YOUR RELATIONSHIP
  • 00:01:48.200 --> 00:01:50.070
  • WITH GOD, INTIMACY WITH GOD AND
  • 00:01:50.070 --> 00:01:51.230
  • INTIMACY WITH EACH OTHER.
  • 00:01:51.230 --> 00:01:53.140
  • AND WE'RE GONNA BE TALKING ABOUT
  • 00:01:53.140 --> 00:01:54.140
  • THAT TODAY.
  • 00:01:54.140 --> 00:01:55.230
  • SO, IF YOU'RE WATCHING AND
  • 00:01:55.230 --> 00:01:57.080
  • YOU'RE STRUGGLING IN YOUR
  • 00:01:57.080 --> 00:01:58.120
  • RELATIONSHIPS, MAYBE YOU'RE
  • 00:01:58.120 --> 00:01:59.260
  • STRUGGLING IN YOUR MARRIAGE, OR
  • 00:01:59.260 --> 00:02:00.260
  • MAYBE YOU'RE JUST STRUGGLING IN
  • 00:02:00.260 --> 00:02:01.270
  • YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD, YOU
  • 00:02:01.270 --> 00:02:02.290
  • DON'T FEEL GOD.
  • 00:02:02.290 --> 00:02:04.200
  • I BELIEVE THE LORD HAS A WORD
  • 00:02:04.200 --> 00:02:05.150
  • FOR YOU TODAY.
  • 00:02:05.150 --> 00:02:06.100
  • WELCOME, GUYS, WE'RE SO GLAD.
  • 00:02:06.100 --> 00:02:07.040
  • HOW WAS YOUR TRIP OUT HERE?
  • 00:02:07.040 --> 00:02:07.290
  • - IT WAS GOOD.
  • 00:02:07.290 --> 00:02:08.240
  • IT WAS ONE OF THE FIRST TRIPS
  • 00:02:08.240 --> 00:02:09.270
  • WE'VE DONE WITHOUT KIDS IN A
  • 00:02:09.270 --> 00:02:10.170
  • LONG TIME.
  • 00:02:10.170 --> 00:02:12.080
  • WE WERE SAYING THE PLANE FELT
  • 00:02:12.080 --> 00:02:13.040
  • LIKE DISNEYLAND FOR US.
  • 00:02:13.040 --> 00:02:14.000
  • WE COULD NAP.
  • 00:02:14.000 --> 00:02:14.270
  • WE COULD WATCH MOVIES.
  • 00:02:14.270 --> 00:02:15.250
  • - IT WAS AWESOME.
  • 00:02:15.250 --> 00:02:16.250
  • - YOU HAVE TWO KIDS, RIGHT?
  • 00:02:16.250 --> 00:02:17.180
  • - YEAH, 3 AND 1.
  • 00:02:17.180 --> 00:02:19.280
  • SO IT'S BUSY AND THEY'RE ACTIVE.
  • 00:02:19.280 --> 00:02:20.270
  • BUT SO FUN.
  • 00:02:20.270 --> 00:02:22.270
  • - WE ARE EXCITED YOU GUYS ARE
  • 00:02:22.270 --> 00:02:24.180
  • COMING OUT HERE TO TALK ABOUT
  • 00:02:24.180 --> 00:02:25.090
  • THIS ISSUE.
  • 00:02:25.090 --> 00:02:26.290
  • BEFORE WE DIG INTO IT, GIVE US
  • 00:02:26.290 --> 00:02:29.280
  • SOME BRIEF IDEA WHAT WE WILL BE
  • 00:02:29.280 --> 00:02:30.260
  • TALKING TO TONIGHT.
  • 00:02:30.260 --> 00:02:32.070
  • - DO YOU WANT TO GO AHEAD?
  • 00:02:32.070 --> 00:02:32.290
  • - NO, GO AHEAD.
  • 00:02:32.290 --> 00:02:35.090
  • - I THINK THE MAIN HEART OF THE
  • 00:02:35.090 --> 00:02:37.080
  • BOOK, IT'S KIND OF WHAT YOU
  • 00:02:37.080 --> 00:02:37.280
  • MENTIONED,
  • 00:02:37.280 --> 00:02:39.200
  • AT THE END OF THE DAY, YOU WILL
  • 00:02:39.200 --> 00:02:40.210
  • HEAR A LOT ABOUT HEALTHY
  • 00:02:40.210 --> 00:02:41.250
  • SEXUALITY IN MARRIAGE AND
  • 00:02:41.250 --> 00:02:43.030
  • RELATIONSHIPS, BUT AT THE END OF
  • 00:02:43.030 --> 00:02:45.070
  • DAY, A LOT OF TIMES THE CENTER
  • 00:02:45.070 --> 00:02:46.070
  • OF THAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP
  • 00:02:46.070 --> 00:02:47.040
  • WITH GOD.
  • 00:02:47.040 --> 00:02:48.110
  • IF THAT'S GOOD, IF THAT'S
  • 00:02:48.110 --> 00:02:49.180
  • HEALTHY, IF THAT'S ON A SOLID
  • 00:02:49.180 --> 00:02:50.250
  • PLACE KNOWING THAT YOUR BELOVED,
  • 00:02:50.250 --> 00:02:52.130
  • KNOWING IT'S NOT WHAT YOU DO,
  • 00:02:52.130 --> 00:02:54.130
  • BUT IT'S ACTUALLY ABOUT WHAT WHO
  • 00:02:54.130 --> 00:02:55.160
  • HE SAYS YOU ARE, THEN THAT WILL
  • 00:02:55.160 --> 00:02:56.190
  • FLOW OUT INTO YOUR
  • 00:02:56.190 --> 00:02:57.280
  • RELATIONSHIPS, NOT JUST
  • 00:02:57.280 --> 00:02:59.010
  • ROMANTICALLY, BUT PLATONICALLY
  • 00:02:59.010 --> 00:03:00.190
  • SPEAKING, AT WORK, WITH YOUR
  • 00:03:00.190 --> 00:03:01.100
  • KIDS, ALL THESE DIFFERENT
  • 00:03:01.100 --> 00:03:02.010
  • THINGS.
  • 00:03:02.010 --> 00:03:03.240
  • SO THE BOOK, WHILE IT MIGHT
  • 00:03:03.240 --> 00:03:04.160
  • CENTER ON THAT, I THINK IT'S
  • 00:03:04.160 --> 00:03:05.170
  • KIND OF A LITTLE BIT OF A TROJAN
  • 00:03:05.170 --> 00:03:06.220
  • HORSE IN REGARDS TO IT AFFECTS
  • 00:03:06.220 --> 00:03:07.220
  • ALL RELATIONSHIPS.
  • 00:03:07.220 --> 00:03:08.270
  • SO THAT'S WHAT WE'LL BE TALKING
  • 00:03:08.270 --> 00:03:10.060
  • ABOUT AND WE'RE REALLY EXCITED.
  • 00:03:10.060 --> 00:03:10.280
  • - THAT'S GOOD.
  • 00:03:10.280 --> 00:03:12.230
  • I REMEMBER, JEFFERSON, SEEING
  • 00:03:12.230 --> 00:03:14.060
  • YOU YEARS AGO, YOU WERE 22 ON
  • 00:03:14.060 --> 00:03:15.290
  • THIS VIDEO YOU DID, "WHY I HATE
  • 00:03:15.290 --> 00:03:17.000
  • RELIGION BUT LOVE JESUS" WENT
  • 00:03:17.000 --> 00:03:17.290
  • VIRAL.
  • 00:03:17.290 --> 00:03:19.070
  • THAT KIND OF LAUNCHED YOUR
  • 00:03:19.070 --> 00:03:19.280
  • MINISTRY.
  • 00:03:19.280 --> 00:03:20.210
  • THAT'S WHEN YOU WERE DOING
  • 00:03:20.210 --> 00:03:21.100
  • SPOKEN WORD.
  • 00:03:21.100 --> 00:03:22.000
  • YOU'RE NOT REALLY DOING MUCH OF
  • 00:03:22.000 --> 00:03:22.270
  • THAT ANYMORE, BUT I THINK IT
  • 00:03:22.270 --> 00:03:25.080
  • WOULD BE FUN FOR PEOPLE TO SEE
  • 00:03:25.080 --> 00:03:26.100
  • THAT VIDEO, AND COMING UP PRETTY
  • 00:03:26.100 --> 00:03:27.020
  • SOON, WE'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO
  • 00:03:27.020 --> 00:03:27.240
  • HEAR YOUR LOVE STORY.
  • 00:03:27.240 --> 00:03:28.160
  • IT WAS NOT ALWAYS EASY FOR YOU
  • 00:03:28.160 --> 00:03:29.070
  • GUYS.
  • 00:03:29.070 --> 00:03:30.010
  • - NO, IT STILL ISN'T.
  • 00:03:30.010 --> 00:03:31.120
  • - YEAH, IT'S CHALLENGING.
  • 00:03:31.120 --> 00:03:32.040
  • - TOTALLY.
  • 00:03:32.040 --> 00:03:32.240
  • - WE'RE GOING TO HEAR ABOUT
  • 00:03:32.240 --> 00:03:33.170
  • THAT.
  • 00:03:33.170 --> 00:03:34.080
  • A LOT OF TIMES YOU ONLY HEAR
  • 00:03:34.080 --> 00:03:35.010
  • ABOUT THE GOOD STUFF, BUT YOU
  • 00:03:35.010 --> 00:03:35.220
  • GUYS WENT THROUGH A LOT OF
  • 00:03:35.220 --> 00:03:36.170
  • CHALLENGES AND YOU'RE WRITING
  • 00:03:36.170 --> 00:03:37.220
  • ABOUT IT.
  • 00:03:37.220 --> 00:03:39.250
  • WE CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR MORE ABOUT
  • 00:03:39.250 --> 00:03:40.210
  • THAT STORY COMING UP RIGHT AFTER
  • 00:03:40.210 --> 00:03:41.130
  • THIS.
  • 00:03:41.130 --> 00:03:44.010
  • - WE'RE EXCITED.
  • 00:03:44.010 --> 00:03:45.160
  • - MUSIC
  • 00:03:47.260 --> 00:03:50.260
  • (VOCALIZING)
  • 00:03:58.280 --> 00:04:02.000
  • MUSIC
  • 00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:04.210
  • - WHAT IF I TOLD YOU JESUS CAME
  • 00:04:04.210 --> 00:04:06.270
  • TO ABOLISH RELIGION?
  • 00:04:06.270 --> 00:04:07.180
  • WHAT IF I TOLD YOU VOTING
  • 00:04:07.180 --> 00:04:09.110
  • REPUBLICAN REALLY WASN'T HIS
  • 00:04:09.110 --> 00:04:10.020
  • MISSION?
  • 00:04:10.020 --> 00:04:11.120
  • WHAT IF I TOLD YOU REPUBLICAN
  • 00:04:11.120 --> 00:04:12.150
  • DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY MEAN
  • 00:04:12.150 --> 00:04:13.090
  • CHRISTIAN?
  • 00:04:13.090 --> 00:04:14.260
  • AND JUST BECAUSE YOU CALL SOME
  • 00:04:14.260 --> 00:04:16.000
  • PEOPLE BLIND, DOES NOT
  • 00:04:16.000 --> 00:04:16.190
  • AUTOMATICALLY GIVE YOU VISION?
  • 00:04:16.190 --> 00:04:18.010
  • I MEAN, IF RELIGION IS SO GREAT,
  • 00:04:18.010 --> 00:04:19.250
  • WHY HAS IT STARTED SO MANY WARS?
  • 00:04:19.250 --> 00:04:22.210
  • WHY DOES IT BUILD HUGE CHURCHES
  • 00:04:22.210 --> 00:04:24.020
  • BUT FAILS TO FEED THE POOR?
  • 00:04:24.020 --> 00:04:26.090
  • TELL SINGLE MOMS GOD DOES NOT
  • 00:04:26.090 --> 00:04:27.060
  • LOVE THEM IF THEY EVER HAD A
  • 00:04:27.060 --> 00:04:28.160
  • DIVORCE, BUT IN THE OLD
  • 00:04:28.160 --> 00:04:29.270
  • TESTAMENT, GOD ACTUALLY CALLS
  • 00:04:29.270 --> 00:04:30.260
  • RELIGIOUS PEOPLE WHORES.
  • 00:04:30.260 --> 00:04:32.170
  • RELIGION MIGHT PREACH GRACE, BUT
  • 00:04:32.170 --> 00:04:35.150
  • ANOTHER THING THEY PRACTICE TEND
  • 00:04:35.150 --> 00:04:36.070
  • TO RIDICULE GOD'S PEOPLE, THEY
  • 00:04:36.070 --> 00:04:36.280
  • DID IT TO JOHN THE BAPTIST.
  • 00:04:36.280 --> 00:04:38.090
  • THEY CAN'T FIX THEIR PROBLEMS,
  • 00:04:38.090 --> 00:04:40.020
  • SO THEY JUST MASK IT NOT
  • 00:04:40.020 --> 00:04:41.170
  • REALIZING RELIGION IS LIKE
  • 00:04:41.170 --> 00:04:43.040
  • SPRAYING PERFUME ON A CASKET.
  • 00:04:43.040 --> 00:04:45.030
  • SEE THE PROBLEM WITH RELIGION IS
  • 00:04:45.030 --> 00:04:47.240
  • IT NEVER GETS TO THE CORE, IT'S
  • 00:04:47.240 --> 00:04:49.120
  • BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION LIKE A
  • 00:04:49.120 --> 00:04:50.100
  • LONG LIST OF CHORES.
  • 00:04:50.100 --> 00:04:52.170
  • LIKE, LET'S DRESS UP THE
  • 00:04:52.170 --> 00:04:53.260
  • OUTSIDE, MAKE IT LOOK NICE AND
  • 00:04:53.260 --> 00:04:54.240
  • NEAT.
  • 00:04:54.240 --> 00:04:56.030
  • BUT THAT'S FUNNY, THAT'S WHAT
  • 00:04:56.030 --> 00:04:57.120
  • THEY USED TO DO WITH MUMMIES
  • 00:04:57.120 --> 00:04:58.260
  • WHILE THE CORPSE ROTS
  • 00:04:58.260 --> 00:05:00.080
  • UNDERNEATH.
  • 00:05:00.080 --> 00:05:01.150
  • NOW I AIN'T JUDGING, I'M JUST
  • 00:05:01.150 --> 00:05:02.110
  • SAYING, QUIT PUTTING ON A FAKE
  • 00:05:02.110 --> 00:05:03.030
  • LOOK.
  • 00:05:03.030 --> 00:05:04.140
  • BECAUSE THERE'S A PROBLEM IF
  • 00:05:04.140 --> 00:05:05.040
  • PEOPLE ONLY KNOW THAT YOU'RE A
  • 00:05:05.040 --> 00:05:05.260
  • CHRISTIAN BY YOUR FACEBOOK.
  • 00:05:05.260 --> 00:05:07.040
  • I MEAN, IN EVERY OTHER ASPECT OF
  • 00:05:07.040 --> 00:05:08.060
  • LIFE, YOU KNOW THAT LOGIC'S
  • 00:05:08.060 --> 00:05:09.150
  • UNWORTHY.
  • 00:05:09.150 --> 00:05:10.130
  • IT IS LIKE SAYING YOU PLAY FOR
  • 00:05:10.130 --> 00:05:11.240
  • THE LAKERS JUST BECAUSE YOU
  • 00:05:11.240 --> 00:05:12.290
  • BOUGHT A JERSEY.
  • 00:05:12.290 --> 00:05:13.230
  • SEE, THIS WAS ME, TOO, BUT NO
  • 00:05:13.230 --> 00:05:14.280
  • ONE SEEMED TO BE ON TO ME.
  • 00:05:14.280 --> 00:05:16.030
  • ACTING LIKE A CHURCH KID WHILE
  • 00:05:16.030 --> 00:05:17.130
  • ADDICTED TO PORNOGRAPHY.
  • 00:05:17.130 --> 00:05:19.210
  • SEE, ON SUNDAY I'D GO TO CHURCH,
  • 00:05:19.210 --> 00:05:21.120
  • BUT SATURDAY GETTING FADED
  • 00:05:21.120 --> 00:05:22.280
  • ACTING AS IF I WAS SIMPLY
  • 00:05:22.280 --> 00:05:24.050
  • CREATED TO JUST HAVE SEX AND GET
  • 00:05:24.050 --> 00:05:24.270
  • WASTED.
  • 00:05:24.270 --> 00:05:27.070
  • SEE, I SPENT MY WHOLE LIFE
  • 00:05:27.070 --> 00:05:28.060
  • BUILDING THIS FACADE OF
  • 00:05:28.060 --> 00:05:29.010
  • NEATNESS.
  • 00:05:29.010 --> 00:05:30.150
  • BUT NOW THAT I KNOW JESUS, I
  • 00:05:30.150 --> 00:05:31.180
  • BOAST IN MY WEAKNESS.
  • 00:05:31.180 --> 00:05:33.120
  • BECAUSE IF GRACE AS WATER, THEN
  • 00:05:33.120 --> 00:05:36.120
  • THE CHURCH SHOULD BE AN OCEAN.
  • 00:05:36.120 --> 00:05:37.180
  • IT'S NOT A MUSEUM FOR GOOD
  • 00:05:37.180 --> 00:05:38.080
  • PEOPLE, IT'S A HOSPITAL FOR THE
  • 00:05:38.080 --> 00:05:39.250
  • BROKEN.
  • 00:05:39.250 --> 00:05:41.060
  • WHICH MEANS I DON'T HAVE TO HIDE
  • 00:05:41.060 --> 00:05:41.280
  • MY FAILURE.
  • 00:05:41.280 --> 00:05:43.130
  • I DON'T HAVE TO HIDE MY SIN.
  • 00:05:43.130 --> 00:05:44.210
  • BECAUSE IT DOES NOT DEPEND ON
  • 00:05:44.210 --> 00:05:45.120
  • ME.
  • 00:05:45.120 --> 00:05:46.120
  • IT DEPENDS ON HIM.
  • 00:05:46.120 --> 00:05:48.110
  • SEE, BECAUSE WHEN I WAS GOD'S
  • 00:05:48.110 --> 00:05:50.010
  • ENEMY AND CERTAINLY NOT A FAN,
  • 00:05:50.010 --> 00:05:51.170
  • HE LOOKED DOWN AND SAID, "I WANT
  • 00:05:51.170 --> 00:05:52.250
  • THAT MAN."
  • 00:05:52.250 --> 00:05:54.250
  • WHICH IS WHY JESUS HATED
  • 00:05:54.250 --> 00:05:56.190
  • RELIGION, AND FORWARD HE CALLED
  • 00:05:56.190 --> 00:05:57.110
  • THEM FOOLS.
  • 00:05:57.110 --> 00:05:59.180
  • DON'T YOU SEE SO MUCH BETTER
  • 00:05:59.180 --> 00:06:00.280
  • THAN JUST FOLLOWING SOME RULES?
  • 00:06:00.280 --> 00:06:03.020
  • NOW LET ME CLARIFY, I LOVE THE
  • 00:06:03.020 --> 00:06:03.280
  • CHURCH, I LOVE THE BIBLE, AND
  • 00:06:03.280 --> 00:06:06.090
  • YES, I BELIEVE IN SIN, BUT IF
  • 00:06:06.090 --> 00:06:07.290
  • JESUS CAME TO YOUR CHURCH, WOULD
  • 00:06:07.290 --> 00:06:08.290
  • THEY ACTUALLY LET HIM IN?
  • 00:06:08.290 --> 00:06:11.110
  • - YEAH, I MEAN, I REMEMBER WHEN
  • 00:06:11.110 --> 00:06:13.070
  • THAT VIDEO CAME OUT WATCHING IT.
  • 00:06:13.070 --> 00:06:14.080
  • AND I THINK MILLIONS OF PEOPLE
  • 00:06:14.080 --> 00:06:16.060
  • SAW THAT VIDEO AND THAT KIND OF
  • 00:06:16.060 --> 00:06:17.030
  • LAUNCHED YOUR MINISTRY, IN A
  • 00:06:17.030 --> 00:06:17.230
  • WAY.
  • 00:06:17.230 --> 00:06:18.120
  • HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE ACTUALLY
  • 00:06:18.120 --> 00:06:19.030
  • SEEN THAT VIDEO?
  • 00:06:19.030 --> 00:06:20.110
  • - I THINK WE WERE JUST TALKING,
  • 00:06:20.110 --> 00:06:21.180
  • I THINK IT IS CHOSE TO ONE
  • 00:06:21.180 --> 00:06:22.180
  • HUNDRED MILLION.
  • 00:06:22.180 --> 00:06:23.210
  • WHICH IS KIND OF CRAZY TO THINK
  • 00:06:23.210 --> 00:06:24.180
  • ABOUT, I MEAN, IT'S HARD TO
  • 00:06:24.180 --> 00:06:25.160
  • CONCEPTUALIZE WHEN IT IS A
  • 00:06:25.160 --> 00:06:26.180
  • LITTLE DOT ON A SCREEN.
  • 00:06:26.180 --> 00:06:28.150
  • IT IS CRAZY TO THINK ABOUT.
  • 00:06:28.150 --> 00:06:29.230
  • - WANT TO CHALLENGE YOU, TOO,
  • 00:06:29.230 --> 00:06:30.230
  • BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENS TO THE TYPE
  • 00:06:30.230 --> 00:06:31.150
  • OF PERSON WHO SEES THAT VIDEO
  • 00:06:31.150 --> 00:06:32.090
  • AND THEY'RE, LIKE, WELL, IT'S
  • 00:06:32.090 --> 00:06:33.170
  • JESUS AND NOT RELIGION, SO I CAN
  • 00:06:33.170 --> 00:06:34.130
  • SLEEP WITH MY GIRLFRIEND.
  • 00:06:34.130 --> 00:06:35.090
  • - TOTALLY.
  • 00:06:35.090 --> 00:06:36.110
  • THE HEART OF THE VIDEO IS
  • 00:06:36.110 --> 00:06:38.220
  • TALKING ABOUT HOW THE THINGS
  • 00:06:38.220 --> 00:06:40.230
  • THAT WILL SAVE YOU, THE THINGS
  • 00:06:40.230 --> 00:06:42.110
  • THAT WILL GIVE YOU THE PEACE AND
  • 00:06:42.110 --> 00:06:43.110
  • BLESSING AND IDENTITY YOU ARE
  • 00:06:43.110 --> 00:06:44.280
  • TRULY LOOKING FOR ARE NOT THE
  • 00:06:44.280 --> 00:06:46.060
  • RULES BUT THE RELATIONSHIP.
  • 00:06:46.060 --> 00:06:48.030
  • BUT, WHEN YOU HAVE THAT HEALTHY
  • 00:06:48.030 --> 00:06:49.060
  • RELATIONSHIP, THERE'S ALWAYS
  • 00:06:49.060 --> 00:06:49.290
  • RULES.
  • 00:06:49.290 --> 00:06:51.070
  • LIKE, I THINK ABOUT WITH A
  • 00:06:51.070 --> 00:06:52.270
  • MARRIAGE, YOU KNOW, I DON'T GO
  • 00:06:52.270 --> 00:06:54.130
  • TO ALYSSA WHEN I'M ABOUT TO
  • 00:06:54.130 --> 00:06:55.150
  • PROPOSE TO HER AT 21 AND SAY,
  • 00:06:55.150 --> 00:06:56.290
  • HOW MUCH CAN I TOTALLY SLEEP
  • 00:06:56.290 --> 00:06:57.240
  • AROUND?
  • 00:06:57.240 --> 00:06:59.070
  • HOW MUCH CAN I TOTALLY GET DRUNK
  • 00:06:59.070 --> 00:07:01.140
  • EVERY NIGHT THAT WE'RE MARRIED?
  • 00:07:01.140 --> 00:07:02.210
  • HOW MUCH CAN I TOTALLY JUST LOSE
  • 00:07:02.210 --> 00:07:04.070
  • OUR JOB AND WASTE OUR FINANCES
  • 00:07:04.070 --> 00:07:05.230
  • AND YOU LIKE NOT DIVORCE ME?
  • 00:07:05.230 --> 00:07:07.030
  • SHE SAID WELL--
  • 00:07:07.030 --> 00:07:08.140
  • LET'S GET MARRIED.
  • 00:07:08.140 --> 00:07:10.170
  • THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS.
  • 00:07:10.170 --> 00:07:12.080
  • THE QUESTION ISN'T-- PEOPLE SAY,
  • 00:07:12.080 --> 00:07:14.100
  • HOW MUCH CAN I TOE THE LINE?
  • 00:07:14.100 --> 00:07:16.070
  • HOW FAR IS TOO FAR?
  • 00:07:16.070 --> 00:07:18.130
  • AND IF YOU'RE ASKING THAT
  • 00:07:18.130 --> 00:07:19.120
  • QUESTION, THAT IS A SMOKE SIGNAL
  • 00:07:19.120 --> 00:07:20.270
  • TO SAY, YOU ARE ALREADY ON THE
  • 00:07:20.270 --> 00:07:21.280
  • WRONG FOOTING.
  • 00:07:21.280 --> 00:07:23.170
  • THE RIGHT QUESTION IS, HOW MUCH
  • 00:07:23.170 --> 00:07:24.210
  • CLOSER CAN YOU GET TO THE
  • 00:07:24.210 --> 00:07:25.170
  • RELATIONSHIP?
  • 00:07:25.170 --> 00:07:26.290
  • NOT HOW CLOSE CAN I GET TO THE
  • 00:07:26.290 --> 00:07:27.220
  • LINE, BUT HOW CLOSE CAN I GET TO
  • 00:07:27.220 --> 00:07:28.160
  • THE RELATIONSHIP?
  • 00:07:28.160 --> 00:07:29.170
  • AND THAT'S TOTALLY DIFFERENT.
  • 00:07:29.170 --> 00:07:31.120
  • - I THINK IN OUR CULTURE, TOO,
  • 00:07:31.120 --> 00:07:32.200
  • THERE IS LIKE THIS NEW CHRISTIAN
  • 00:07:32.200 --> 00:07:34.100
  • SET WHERE WE KIND OF THINK THAT
  • 00:07:34.100 --> 00:07:35.220
  • OUR PHYSICAL BODY IS SEPARATE
  • 00:07:35.220 --> 00:07:36.200
  • FROM OUR SPIRITUAL BODY.
  • 00:07:36.200 --> 00:07:37.200
  • LIKE GOD DOES NOT REALLY GO INTO
  • 00:07:37.200 --> 00:07:39.190
  • OUR PHYSICAL.
  • 00:07:39.190 --> 00:07:41.020
  • WE CAN LIVE WITH OUR BOYFRIEND,
  • 00:07:41.020 --> 00:07:43.140
  • WE CAN SLEEP AROUND AND IT WON'T
  • 00:07:43.140 --> 00:07:44.160
  • AFFECT US, BUT LIKE OUR WHOLE
  • 00:07:44.160 --> 00:07:46.010
  • BODY IS ONE.
  • 00:07:46.010 --> 00:07:47.100
  • - WE ARE INTEGRATED BEINGS.
  • 00:07:47.100 --> 00:07:50.000
  • - SO EVERYTHING AFFECTS
  • 00:07:50.000 --> 00:07:50.200
  • EVERYTHING.
  • 00:07:50.200 --> 00:07:51.230
  • - THAT IS SUCH A GREAT POINT
  • 00:07:51.230 --> 00:07:54.080
  • BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I'VE NEVER
  • 00:07:54.080 --> 00:07:55.060
  • MADE THAT ASSOCIATION.
  • 00:07:55.060 --> 00:07:57.100
  • I'VE ALWAYS THEOLOGICALLY HAD AN
  • 00:07:57.100 --> 00:07:59.060
  • ISSUE WHERE MY SPIRIT MATTERS
  • 00:07:59.060 --> 00:08:00.030
  • BUT NOT MY BODY.
  • 00:08:00.030 --> 00:08:00.230
  • - TOTAL GNOSTICISM.
  • 00:08:00.230 --> 00:08:02.080
  • 1 JOHN WAS TALKING TO 2000 YEARS
  • 00:08:02.080 --> 00:08:03.180
  • AGO.
  • 00:08:03.180 --> 00:08:05.070
  • BUT IT COME AWAY IN LIKE THESE
  • 00:08:05.070 --> 00:08:06.050
  • NEW EXPRESSIONS, AND THAT IS
  • 00:08:06.050 --> 00:08:06.250
  • TOTALLY THE NEW EXPRESSION OF
  • 00:08:06.250 --> 00:08:07.160
  • IT.
  • 00:08:07.160 --> 00:08:08.200
  • - THIS IS OUR MILLENNIAL
  • 00:08:08.200 --> 00:08:09.110
  • EXPRESSION RIGHT NOW.
  • 00:08:09.110 --> 00:08:10.250
  • - IF YOU LOOK AT END OF TIMES
  • 00:08:10.250 --> 00:08:12.110
  • LITERATURE IN THE SCRIPTURES,
  • 00:08:12.110 --> 00:08:13.220
  • IT'S ALL ABOUT THE RESURRECTION
  • 00:08:13.220 --> 00:08:14.170
  • OF THE DEAD.
  • 00:08:14.170 --> 00:08:15.070
  • WE WILL HAVE THESE SAME
  • 00:08:15.070 --> 00:08:16.220
  • GLORIFIED BODIES, LIKE JESUS
  • 00:08:16.220 --> 00:08:17.270
  • DID, SO, PAUL, I MEAN, HE WRITES
  • 00:08:17.270 --> 00:08:19.050
  • ABOUT IT A LOT.
  • 00:08:19.050 --> 00:08:20.050
  • THIS IS THE TEMPLE OF THE
  • 00:08:20.050 --> 00:08:21.060
  • HOLY SPIRIT.
  • 00:08:21.060 --> 00:08:22.130
  • WE NEED TO TREAT IT LIKE A
  • 00:08:22.130 --> 00:08:23.100
  • TEMPLE.
  • 00:08:23.100 --> 00:08:25.140
  • THAT IS GREAT.
  • 00:08:25.140 --> 00:08:26.070
  • THAT IS A GREAT LEEWAY INTO OUR
  • 00:08:26.070 --> 00:08:27.260
  • TOPIC TODAY WHICH IS DATING,
  • 00:08:27.260 --> 00:08:30.070
  • MARRIAGE, INTIMACY WITH GOD AND
  • 00:08:30.070 --> 00:08:31.200
  • INTIMACY WITH FRIENDS AND
  • 00:08:31.200 --> 00:08:32.200
  • INTIMACY WITH YOUR SPOUSE.
  • 00:08:32.270 --> 00:08:35.270
  • AND, IF YOU HAVE A YOUNG PERSON
  • 00:08:35.270 --> 00:08:37.020
  • THAT'S WATCHING TODAY, I WANT TO
  • 00:08:37.020 --> 00:08:38.190
  • RECOMMEND YOU SHARE THIS ONLINE
  • 00:08:38.190 --> 00:08:41.040
  • OR SEND THIS TO THEM BECAUSE NOW
  • 00:08:41.040 --> 00:08:43.120
  • THIS IS GOING TO REALLY HELP A
  • 00:08:43.120 --> 00:08:44.050
  • LOT.
  • 00:08:44.050 --> 00:08:45.200
  • NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE, YOUNG
  • 00:08:45.200 --> 00:08:47.050
  • AND OLD, I'VE READ YOUR BOOK,
  • 00:08:47.050 --> 00:08:48.220
  • YOU GUYS ARE SO YOUNG, BUT
  • 00:08:48.220 --> 00:08:50.070
  • THERE'S SO MUCH WISDOM.
  • 00:08:50.070 --> 00:08:52.050
  • A LOT OF THAT WISDOM COMES FROM
  • 00:08:52.050 --> 00:08:53.060
  • YOUR PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.
  • 00:08:53.060 --> 00:08:53.260
  • - TOTALLY.
  • 00:08:53.260 --> 00:08:55.190
  • - TELL ME ABOUT IT.
  • 00:08:55.190 --> 00:08:56.140
  • HOW DID YOU GUYS MEET, FIRST OF
  • 00:08:56.140 --> 00:08:57.080
  • ALL?
  • 00:08:57.080 --> 00:08:58.260
  • - WELL, I HAVE JEFF ALWAYS SAY
  • 00:08:58.260 --> 00:08:59.250
  • IT, BECAUSE THERE'S LIKE THREE
  • 00:08:59.250 --> 00:09:00.270
  • JEFFS IN THE STORY.
  • 00:09:00.270 --> 00:09:01.270
  • SO IT GETS CONFUSING.
  • 00:09:01.270 --> 00:09:03.000
  • - IT REALLY DOES.
  • 00:09:03.000 --> 00:09:03.250
  • SO THE BRIEF STORY IS, I LIKE TO
  • 00:09:03.250 --> 00:09:04.270
  • SAY I MET HER ON MY FRIEND'S
  • 00:09:04.270 --> 00:09:05.210
  • FRIDGE.
  • 00:09:05.210 --> 00:09:07.080
  • WHAT I MEAN BY THAT, SHE WAS NOT
  • 00:09:07.080 --> 00:09:08.190
  • ON THE FRIDGE, A PICTURE OF HER
  • 00:09:08.190 --> 00:09:09.150
  • WAS ON THE FRIDGE.
  • 00:09:09.150 --> 00:09:10.160
  • - MY SENIOR PHOTO.
  • 00:09:10.160 --> 00:09:11.100
  • - HER SENIOR PHOTO FROM HIGH
  • 00:09:11.100 --> 00:09:12.030
  • SCHOOL.
  • 00:09:12.030 --> 00:09:12.250
  • SHE WAS ALREADY IN COLLEGE AT
  • 00:09:12.250 --> 00:09:13.160
  • THE TIME.
  • 00:09:13.160 --> 00:09:15.040
  • BUT HER FAMILY AND MY FRIEND'S
  • 00:09:15.040 --> 00:09:16.220
  • FAMILY KIND OF GREW UP TOGETHER.
  • 00:09:16.220 --> 00:09:18.050
  • THEY HAD THIS CLASSIC CHRISTIAN
  • 00:09:18.050 --> 00:09:19.130
  • FRIDGE WHICH, YOU KNOW WHAT I
  • 00:09:19.130 --> 00:09:20.050
  • MEAN BY THAT?
  • 00:09:20.050 --> 00:09:22.010
  • LIKE 900 PICTURES, YOU HAVE 70
  • 00:09:22.010 --> 00:09:23.030
  • MISSIONARIES YOU ARE SUPPORTING
  • 00:09:23.030 --> 00:09:24.070
  • ON THERE.
  • 00:09:24.070 --> 00:09:25.220
  • YOU HAVE YOUR FOUR SPONSORED
  • 00:09:25.220 --> 00:09:26.210
  • CHILDREN, AND YOU HAVE ALL THE
  • 00:09:26.210 --> 00:09:27.180
  • SENIOR PHOTOS FROM FRIENDS AND
  • 00:09:27.180 --> 00:09:28.090
  • ALL THAT.
  • 00:09:28.090 --> 00:09:29.240
  • SO IT WAS LIKE CLUTTER CRAZY.
  • 00:09:29.240 --> 00:09:31.190
  • I SAY THAT TO SAY, IT WAS NOT
  • 00:09:31.190 --> 00:09:33.150
  • EASY TO SPOT HER PICTURE AMIDST
  • 00:09:33.150 --> 00:09:34.200
  • ALL THE STUFF.
  • 00:09:34.200 --> 00:09:36.110
  • BUT IMMEDIATELY SHE CAUGHT MY
  • 00:09:36.110 --> 00:09:37.030
  • EYE--
  • 00:09:37.030 --> 00:09:38.010
  • - YOU'RE EXAGGERATING.
  • 00:09:38.010 --> 00:09:38.210
  • - NO.
  • 00:09:38.210 --> 00:09:39.210
  • SHE IMMEDIATELY CAUGHT MY EYE.
  • 00:09:39.210 --> 00:09:41.000
  • I WAS LIKE, MAN, THAT GIRL IS
  • 00:09:41.000 --> 00:09:42.020
  • CUTE.
  • 00:09:42.020 --> 00:09:43.230
  • THEN FROM THERE I REMEMBER
  • 00:09:43.230 --> 00:09:45.000
  • TALKING TO MY FRIEND SAYING,
  • 00:09:45.000 --> 00:09:46.200
  • HEY, I REALLY WANT TO MEET HER
  • 00:09:46.200 --> 00:09:47.170
  • AND TALK TO HER.
  • 00:09:47.170 --> 00:09:48.190
  • BUT IT WAS KIND OF A RUNNING
  • 00:09:48.190 --> 00:09:49.100
  • JOKE.
  • 00:09:49.100 --> 00:09:50.170
  • THEY MADE FUN OF ME IMMEDIATELY
  • 00:09:50.170 --> 00:09:51.260
  • BECAUSE I WAS RAISED-- THIS GETS
  • 00:09:51.260 --> 00:09:53.070
  • INTO OUR STORY -- REALLY, RAISED
  • 00:09:53.070 --> 00:09:54.290
  • WITH A SINGLE MOM, WELFARE,
  • 00:09:54.290 --> 00:09:56.110
  • SECTION 8, FOOD STAMPS, ALL
  • 00:09:56.110 --> 00:09:57.260
  • THESE DIFFERENT THINGS, A HARD
  • 00:09:57.260 --> 00:09:59.000
  • UPBRINGING, NO DAD AROUND.
  • 00:09:59.000 --> 00:10:00.090
  • I MADE SOME REALLY POOR CHOICES
  • 00:10:00.090 --> 00:10:01.020
  • IN HIGH SCHOOL.
  • 00:10:01.020 --> 00:10:02.150
  • SO I WAS COMING OUT OF A HARDER
  • 00:10:02.150 --> 00:10:03.070
  • TESTIMONY.
  • 00:10:03.070 --> 00:10:04.100
  • SHE IS BORN INTO THE BAPTISMAL.
  • 00:10:04.100 --> 00:10:05.280
  • LIKE THE ANGELS ARE SINGING,
  • 00:10:05.280 --> 00:10:08.180
  • STAY IN THAT DAY ONE, ONLY
  • 00:10:08.180 --> 00:10:09.280
  • CHILD, AMAZING PARENTS WITH LIKE
  • 00:10:09.280 --> 00:10:11.200
  • A 35 YEAR MARRIAGE.
  • 00:10:11.200 --> 00:10:13.120
  • - IS THAT TRUE, BY THE WAY?
  • 00:10:13.120 --> 00:10:14.050
  • OR IS HE EXAGGERATING?
  • 00:10:14.050 --> 00:10:14.230
  • - HE IS EXAGGERATING.
  • 00:10:14.230 --> 00:10:15.130
  • - NO.
  • 00:10:15.130 --> 00:10:16.220
  • - WHAT WAS IT LIKE GROWING UP
  • 00:10:16.220 --> 00:10:17.190
  • IN YOUR FAMILY, PRETTY
  • 00:10:17.190 --> 00:10:18.240
  • CONSERVATIVE?
  • 00:10:18.240 --> 00:10:20.080
  • - A LITTLE CONSERVATIVE.
  • 00:10:20.080 --> 00:10:22.020
  • BOTH MY PARENTS REALLY LOVE THE
  • 00:10:22.020 --> 00:10:22.290
  • LORD.
  • 00:10:22.290 --> 00:10:23.220
  • I GREW UP IN A CHURCH.
  • 00:10:23.220 --> 00:10:25.290
  • AND SO, YEAH, I REALLY LOVE THE
  • 00:10:25.290 --> 00:10:27.070
  • LORD.
  • 00:10:27.070 --> 00:10:29.250
  • I ALWAYS THOUGHT I WOULD END UP
  • 00:10:29.250 --> 00:10:31.090
  • MARRYING SOMEONE THAT CAME FROM
  • 00:10:31.090 --> 00:10:32.070
  • A CHRISTIAN FAMILY TOO.
  • 00:10:32.070 --> 00:10:33.160
  • - NOT THIS GUY.
  • 00:10:33.160 --> 00:10:34.030
  • - NOT QUITE THIS GUY.
  • 00:10:34.030 --> 00:10:34.260
  • - NO.
  • 00:10:34.260 --> 00:10:36.020
  • BUT I'M SO GLAD THE LORD GAVE ME
  • 00:10:36.020 --> 00:10:36.240
  • HIM.
  • 00:10:36.240 --> 00:10:37.090
  • - TOTALLY.
  • 00:10:37.090 --> 00:10:38.230
  • - YOUR FRIENDS ARE TEASING YOU
  • 00:10:38.230 --> 00:10:39.230
  • BECAUSE SHE IS THIS REALLY GREAT
  • 00:10:39.230 --> 00:10:40.160
  • CHRISTIAN GIRL--
  • 00:10:40.160 --> 00:10:41.020
  • - THEY WERE LIKE, WAY OUT OF
  • 00:10:41.020 --> 00:10:41.290
  • YOUR LEAGUE.
  • 00:10:41.290 --> 00:10:42.240
  • - ALSO BECAUSE HE WAS LIKE,
  • 00:10:42.240 --> 00:10:44.250
  • HEY, WHO IS THIS GIRL?
  • 00:10:44.250 --> 00:10:45.120
  • I WANT TO GET AT HER.
  • 00:10:45.120 --> 00:10:45.290
  • - THAT WAS NOT MY EXACT PHRASE.
  • 00:10:45.290 --> 00:10:46.290
  • IF YOU EVEN SAID THAT PHRASE
  • 00:10:46.290 --> 00:10:47.200
  • PEOPLE--
  • 00:10:47.200 --> 00:10:48.080
  • - I WANT TO GET AT HER?
  • 00:10:48.080 --> 00:10:49.000
  • - I THINK IT WAS A 19-YEAR-OLD
  • 00:10:49.000 --> 00:10:50.020
  • THING TO SAY, LIKE, YOU KNOW--
  • 00:10:50.020 --> 00:10:52.080
  • - A BASEBALL PLAYER THING TO
  • 00:10:52.080 --> 00:10:53.050
  • SAY.
  • 00:10:53.050 --> 00:10:53.240
  • - EXACTLY.
  • 00:10:53.240 --> 00:10:55.050
  • SO THEY WERE LIKE, YOU GUYS ARE
  • 00:10:55.050 --> 00:10:55.280
  • PROBABLY NOT GOING TO BE A GOOD
  • 00:10:55.280 --> 00:10:56.240
  • MATCH.
  • 00:10:56.240 --> 00:10:58.040
  • SO IT TURNED INTO A RUNNING
  • 00:10:58.040 --> 00:10:59.040
  • JOKE.
  • 00:10:59.040 --> 00:11:00.230
  • THEN MY FRIEND'S SISTER WAS
  • 00:11:00.230 --> 00:11:01.210
  • GETTING MARRIED.
  • 00:11:01.210 --> 00:11:02.290
  • THAT SISTER IS FRIENDS WITH
  • 00:11:02.290 --> 00:11:03.190
  • ALYSSA.
  • 00:11:03.190 --> 00:11:05.000
  • I WAS NOT GOING TO BE THERE
  • 00:11:05.000 --> 00:11:06.100
  • BECAUSE I'M NOT SUPER CLOSE TO
  • 00:11:06.100 --> 00:11:07.100
  • THERE, BUT THE MOM AND THE
  • 00:11:07.100 --> 00:11:08.090
  • FAMILY WAS PUTTING ON THE
  • 00:11:08.090 --> 00:11:09.090
  • WEDDING AT THE CHURCH AND DOING
  • 00:11:09.090 --> 00:11:10.090
  • ALL THE TABLES AND LINENS, SO
  • 00:11:10.090 --> 00:11:12.020
  • THEY HAD A LOT OF WORK TO DO.
  • 00:11:12.020 --> 00:11:13.030
  • SO THEY ARE, LIKE, IF YOU HELP
  • 00:11:13.030 --> 00:11:14.010
  • US CLEAN UP, YOU CAN COME.
  • 00:11:14.010 --> 00:11:14.280
  • WE WILL GIVE YOU AN INVITATION,
  • 00:11:14.280 --> 00:11:16.050
  • AND THAT INVITATION IS SOLELY
  • 00:11:16.050 --> 00:11:18.040
  • FOR YOU TO GO TRY TO FIGURE THIS
  • 00:11:18.040 --> 00:11:19.120
  • OUT AND STOP TALKING ABOUT IT
  • 00:11:19.120 --> 00:11:20.180
  • AFTER IN IT DOES NOT WORK.
  • 00:11:20.180 --> 00:11:21.130
  • SO YEAH, WE--
  • 00:11:21.130 --> 00:11:23.080
  • - SO YOU WERE OBSESSED.
  • 00:11:23.080 --> 00:11:23.280
  • - PRETTY MUCH.
  • 00:11:23.280 --> 00:11:25.040
  • FACEBOOK STALK, ALL THAT STUFF.
  • 00:11:25.040 --> 00:11:26.130
  • LONG STORY SHORT, WE MET AT THE
  • 00:11:26.130 --> 00:11:27.160
  • WEDDING.
  • 00:11:27.160 --> 00:11:29.110
  • - DID YOU JUST SNORT?
  • 00:11:29.110 --> 00:11:30.010
  • - I DID.
  • 00:11:30.010 --> 00:11:30.210
  • SORRY.
  • 00:11:30.210 --> 00:11:31.190
  • - AWESOME.
  • 00:11:31.190 --> 00:11:32.190
  • - SHE LITERALLY SNORTS, THAT
  • 00:11:32.190 --> 00:11:34.030
  • MEANS IT'S A GENUINE LAUGH WHEN
  • 00:11:34.030 --> 00:11:34.250
  • SHE SNORTS.
  • 00:11:34.250 --> 00:11:35.220
  • - OKAY.
  • 00:11:35.220 --> 00:11:37.080
  • I'M GOING TO HOPE TO HEAR LOTS
  • 00:11:37.080 --> 00:11:37.290
  • OF SNORTS.
  • 00:11:37.290 --> 00:11:38.130
  • - LONG STORY SHORT, WE MET AT
  • 00:11:38.130 --> 00:11:39.170
  • THE WEDDING, WE ACTUALLY HIT IT
  • 00:11:39.170 --> 00:11:40.130
  • OFF.
  • 00:11:40.130 --> 00:11:41.090
  • REALLY CONNECTED.
  • 00:11:41.090 --> 00:11:43.030
  • AND GOD WOVE OUR STORIES
  • 00:11:43.030 --> 00:11:44.130
  • TOGETHER IN THAT MOMENT.
  • 00:11:44.130 --> 00:11:45.140
  • WE DATED LONG DISTANCE FOR A
  • 00:11:45.140 --> 00:11:46.110
  • LITTLE BIT, BROKE UP FOR A
  • 00:11:46.110 --> 00:11:47.070
  • LITTLE BIT.
  • 00:11:47.070 --> 00:11:48.140
  • - SLOW IT DOWN.
  • 00:11:48.140 --> 00:11:50.160
  • YOU'RE TAKING OUT ALL THE GREAT
  • 00:11:50.160 --> 00:11:51.110
  • DETAILS.
  • 00:11:51.110 --> 00:11:52.050
  • SO YOU MEET THIS GUY AT A
  • 00:11:52.050 --> 00:11:53.000
  • WEDDING.
  • 00:11:53.000 --> 00:11:54.150
  • HAD YOU SEEN THIS VIRAL VIDEO?
  • 00:11:54.150 --> 00:11:55.150
  • - NO, THAT HAD NOT HAPPENED
  • 00:11:55.150 --> 00:11:56.070
  • YET.
  • 00:11:56.070 --> 00:11:56.180
  • - OKAY.
  • 00:11:56.180 --> 00:11:57.240
  • - THAT HAPPENED WHILE WE WERE
  • 00:11:57.240 --> 00:11:58.180
  • DATING.
  • 00:11:58.180 --> 00:11:58.280
  • - OKAY, THAT IS KIND OF COOL.
  • 00:11:58.280 --> 00:12:00.150
  • SO YOU GOT TO BE PART OF THAT
  • 00:12:00.150 --> 00:12:01.100
  • TOGETHER.
  • 00:12:01.100 --> 00:12:02.080
  • - TOTALLY.
  • 00:12:02.080 --> 00:12:03.100
  • - SO YOU JUST MEET AT THIS
  • 00:12:03.100 --> 00:12:04.020
  • WEDDING.
  • 00:12:04.020 --> 00:12:05.040
  • WHAT'S IT LIKE MEETING HIM IN?
  • 00:12:05.110 --> 00:12:08.110
  • - FIRST OF ALL, EVERYONE KNEW
  • 00:12:08.110 --> 00:12:09.190
  • THAT JEFF WAS COMING TO MEET ME.
  • 00:12:09.190 --> 00:12:11.290
  • SO LIKE ALL THE BRIDESMAIDS.
  • 00:12:11.290 --> 00:12:12.260
  • - NOW IT'S LIKE A --
  • 00:12:12.260 --> 00:12:14.060
  • - IT'S A CLASSIC CHURCH THING
  • 00:12:14.060 --> 00:12:14.290
  • WHERE LIKE ALL--
  • 00:12:14.290 --> 00:12:15.250
  • - EVERYONE KNEW.
  • 00:12:15.250 --> 00:12:17.070
  • - YEAH, AND I WAS THE ONLY ONE
  • 00:12:17.070 --> 00:12:18.110
  • THAT DIDN'T KNOW THAT EVERYONE
  • 00:12:18.110 --> 00:12:19.020
  • KNEW.
  • 00:12:19.020 --> 00:12:20.080
  • I WALK IN AND I'M LIKE, WHY IS
  • 00:12:20.080 --> 00:12:21.110
  • EVERYONE LOOKING AT ME?
  • 00:12:21.110 --> 00:12:21.290
  • IT'S HER WEDDING.
  • 00:12:21.290 --> 00:12:22.290
  • - SO ALL THE GIRLS WERE TALKING
  • 00:12:22.290 --> 00:12:23.230
  • ABOUT IT.
  • 00:12:23.230 --> 00:12:24.040
  • MY PARENTS KNEW.
  • 00:12:24.040 --> 00:12:25.280
  • SO I HAD SEEN JEFF WHEN HE FIRST
  • 00:12:25.280 --> 00:12:27.000
  • WALKED IN THE CHURCH IN THIS
  • 00:12:27.000 --> 00:12:28.030
  • BRIGHT BLUE POLO SHIRT.
  • 00:12:28.030 --> 00:12:29.210
  • - TALK ABOUT PRESSURE, THOUGH,
  • 00:12:29.210 --> 00:12:30.220
  • EVERYONE WAS LIKE, WHEN IS HE
  • 00:12:30.220 --> 00:12:31.150
  • GOING TO GO TALK TO HER?
  • 00:12:31.150 --> 00:12:32.030
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:12:32.030 --> 00:12:33.020
  • AND HE DIDN'T TALK TO ME THE
  • 00:12:33.020 --> 00:12:33.220
  • ENTIRE WEDDING.
  • 00:12:33.220 --> 00:12:35.010
  • I KEPT LOOKING OVER.
  • 00:12:35.010 --> 00:12:35.230
  • - WAIT, WAIT!
  • 00:12:35.230 --> 00:12:36.090
  • - I WAS NERVOUS.
  • 00:12:36.090 --> 00:12:37.240
  • - THAT WAS THE WHOLE REASON YOU
  • 00:12:37.240 --> 00:12:38.180
  • WERE THERE.
  • 00:12:38.180 --> 00:12:39.060
  • - I KNOW.
  • 00:12:39.060 --> 00:12:40.000
  • I'M THE GUY WHO WAITS UNTIL THE
  • 00:12:40.000 --> 00:12:40.220
  • LAST MINUTE.
  • 00:12:40.220 --> 00:12:42.000
  • I WAS, LIKE, OKAY, LAST FIVE
  • 00:12:42.000 --> 00:12:43.120
  • MINUTES OF THE RECEPTION WHEN
  • 00:12:43.120 --> 00:12:44.290
  • THE BRIDE AND GROOM ARE LEAVING,
  • 00:12:44.290 --> 00:12:45.280
  • I WANT TO GO.
  • 00:12:45.280 --> 00:12:46.290
  • - YEAH, SO I KEPT BEING LIKE,
  • 00:12:47.150 --> 00:12:50.150
  • IS HE EVER GOING TO COME TALK TO
  • 00:12:50.150 --> 00:12:51.070
  • ME?
  • 00:12:51.070 --> 00:12:51.230
  • SO EVENTUALLY, HE WENT OUT--
  • 00:12:51.230 --> 00:12:52.200
  • - YEAH, HER DAD KIND OF DID
  • 00:12:52.200 --> 00:12:53.130
  • LIKE A NAVY SEAL RECON MISSION,
  • 00:12:53.130 --> 00:12:54.110
  • I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS HER DAD.
  • 00:12:54.110 --> 00:12:56.040
  • THE WEDDING IS DONE AND THE
  • 00:12:56.040 --> 00:12:57.150
  • RECEPTION IS HAPPENING.
  • 00:12:57.150 --> 00:12:58.100
  • I'M OUTSIDE GETTING SOME AIR,
  • 00:12:58.100 --> 00:12:59.170
  • AND THIS OLDER GUY COMES UP TO
  • 00:12:59.170 --> 00:13:00.170
  • ME.
  • 00:13:00.170 --> 00:13:01.100
  • I PLAYED BASEBALL IN HIGH SCHOOL
  • 00:13:01.100 --> 00:13:02.190
  • AND COLLEGE, AND THE HIGH SCHOOL
  • 00:13:02.190 --> 00:13:04.030
  • TEAM WE PLAYED ON DECENTLY-- WE
  • 00:13:04.030 --> 00:13:05.100
  • DID WELL, WE WERE RANKED
  • 00:13:05.100 --> 00:13:06.010
  • NATIONALLY.
  • 00:13:06.010 --> 00:13:07.110
  • HE IS ONE OF THOSE GUYS, SMALL
  • 00:13:07.110 --> 00:13:08.090
  • TOWN, HE KNEW ABOUT IT.
  • 00:13:08.090 --> 00:13:09.290
  • SO WE STARTED HITTING IT OFF
  • 00:13:09.290 --> 00:13:10.260
  • THERE.
  • 00:13:10.260 --> 00:13:11.160
  • HE STARTED TALKING TO ME.
  • 00:13:11.160 --> 00:13:12.110
  • HE SAID, HEY, YOU PLAY FOR THE
  • 00:13:12.110 --> 00:13:13.020
  • TEAM?
  • 00:13:13.020 --> 00:13:13.170
  • AND WE KIND OF HIT IT OFF.
  • 00:13:13.170 --> 00:13:14.180
  • WE TALKED FOR LIKE 30 MINUTES.
  • 00:13:14.180 --> 00:13:15.090
  • AND HE WAS LIKE, "YOU SHOULD
  • 00:13:15.090 --> 00:13:16.020
  • COME IN AND MEET MY DAUGHTER."
  • 00:13:16.020 --> 00:13:16.280
  • I SAID COOL, I DIDN'T KNOW WHO
  • 00:13:16.280 --> 00:13:17.190
  • THIS GUY WAS.
  • 00:13:17.190 --> 00:13:19.010
  • - LITTLE DID YOU KNOW YOU WERE
  • 00:13:19.010 --> 00:13:19.250
  • BEING INTERVIEWED FOR THE PRE--
  • 00:13:19.250 --> 00:13:20.170
  • PRE INTERVIEW.
  • 00:13:20.170 --> 00:13:21.290
  • - HE KNEW WHO I WAS.
  • 00:13:21.290 --> 00:13:23.010
  • I DIDN'T HEAR ABOUT ANY OF THIS
  • 00:13:23.010 --> 00:13:23.230
  • UNTIL DAYS AFTER.
  • 00:13:23.230 --> 00:13:24.110
  • WHEN I REALIZED--
  • 00:13:24.110 --> 00:13:25.150
  • - IT'S A GOOD THING IT WASN'T
  • 00:13:25.150 --> 00:13:26.090
  • LIKE, YOU SHOULD LEAVE.
  • 00:13:26.090 --> 00:13:26.270
  • - EXACTLY.
  • 00:13:26.270 --> 00:13:28.130
  • - IT WAS A NICE CONVERSATION.
  • 00:13:28.130 --> 00:13:29.060
  • - EXACTLY.
  • 00:13:29.060 --> 00:13:30.190
  • THEN BASICALLY HE BROUGHT ME IN.
  • 00:13:30.270 --> 00:13:33.270
  • OH, THAT IS THE DAUGHTER YOU ARE
  • 00:13:33.270 --> 00:13:35.040
  • TALKING ABOUT.
  • 00:13:35.040 --> 00:13:36.130
  • I WAS LIKE-- IT WAS FORCED UPON
  • 00:13:36.130 --> 00:13:37.070
  • US.
  • 00:13:37.070 --> 00:13:39.220
  • - YOU DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS HER
  • 00:13:39.220 --> 00:13:40.210
  • DAD WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO
  • 00:13:40.210 --> 00:13:41.110
  • HIM.
  • 00:13:41.110 --> 00:13:41.210
  • - NO.
  • 00:13:41.210 --> 00:13:43.010
  • - SO ESSENTIALLY, YOUR DAD
  • 00:13:43.010 --> 00:13:43.230
  • INTRODUCED YOU GUYS.
  • 00:13:43.230 --> 00:13:44.090
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:13:44.090 --> 00:13:46.010
  • HE WAS PLAYING THE ROLE OF LIKE,
  • 00:13:46.010 --> 00:13:47.210
  • MAN, IF HE DOESN'T DO IT, I'M
  • 00:13:47.210 --> 00:13:48.290
  • GOING TO FORCE THIS.
  • 00:13:48.290 --> 00:13:49.180
  • - TOTALLY.
  • 00:13:49.180 --> 00:13:52.180
  • SO, THEN YOU STARTED DATING.
  • 00:13:52.180 --> 00:13:54.160
  • AND LONG DISTANCE.
  • 00:13:54.180 --> 00:13:57.180
  • - FIRST OF ALL, WHEN HE TALKED
  • 00:13:57.180 --> 00:13:59.000
  • TO ME I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING
  • 00:13:59.000 --> 00:13:59.260
  • DIFFERENT ABOUT THIS GUY.
  • 00:13:59.260 --> 00:14:01.100
  • BECAUSE IMMEDIATELY HE WAS JUST
  • 00:14:01.100 --> 00:14:02.020
  • HONEST, LIKE-- WELL, IT WAS
  • 00:14:02.020 --> 00:14:02.230
  • FUNNY.
  • 00:14:02.230 --> 00:14:03.210
  • BECAUSE HE TREATED ME AS IF WE
  • 00:14:03.210 --> 00:14:05.060
  • HAD KNOWN EACH OTHER, LIKE, HEY,
  • 00:14:05.060 --> 00:14:06.050
  • HOW'S IT BEEN THE LAST LIKE FOUR
  • 00:14:06.050 --> 00:14:06.280
  • YEARS?
  • 00:14:06.280 --> 00:14:07.260
  • - IT WAS OUR FIRST TIME
  • 00:14:07.260 --> 00:14:08.170
  • MEETING.
  • 00:14:08.170 --> 00:14:10.050
  • WE DID GET INTO A THING JUST
  • 00:14:10.050 --> 00:14:11.130
  • LIKE TALKING ABOUT OUR PAST.
  • 00:14:11.130 --> 00:14:13.190
  • - HOW LONG DID YOU ACTUALLY
  • 00:14:13.190 --> 00:14:14.150
  • DATE BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED?
  • 00:14:14.150 --> 00:14:15.090
  • - THREE YEARS TOTAL WITH A YEAR
  • 00:14:15.090 --> 00:14:17.090
  • BREAK UP.
  • 00:14:17.090 --> 00:14:18.160
  • SO ONE YEAR ON, ONE YEAR OFF,
  • 00:14:18.160 --> 00:14:19.070
  • ONE YEAR ON.
  • 00:14:19.070 --> 00:14:21.050
  • - OKAY, SO THE BREAK UP MIGHT
  • 00:14:21.050 --> 00:14:22.280
  • HAVE BEEN TOUGH, I'M SURE.
  • 00:14:22.280 --> 00:14:23.220
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:14:23.220 --> 00:14:25.040
  • - FOR WHO?
  • 00:14:25.040 --> 00:14:26.110
  • SHE BROKE UP WITH ME.
  • 00:14:26.110 --> 00:14:28.250
  • THAT'S A FUNNY STORY, TOO.
  • 00:14:28.250 --> 00:14:31.060
  • THAT'S SOMETHING WE CAN
  • 00:14:31.060 --> 00:14:32.220
  • DEFINITELY TALK ABOUT EVEN LATER
  • 00:14:32.220 --> 00:14:33.260
  • NOW IS,
  • 00:14:33.260 --> 00:14:35.120
  • THE BREAK UP WAS PIVOTAL FROM AN
  • 00:14:35.120 --> 00:14:36.190
  • ACTUAL SHAPING STANDPOINT FOR
  • 00:14:36.190 --> 00:14:38.020
  • US.
  • 00:14:38.020 --> 00:14:39.160
  • SHE IS TWO YEARS OLDER THAN ME.
  • 00:14:39.160 --> 00:14:41.040
  • SHE STARTED COLLEGE EARLIER.
  • 00:14:41.040 --> 00:14:42.160
  • SHE WAS WAY AHEAD OF ME IN LIFE
  • 00:14:42.160 --> 00:14:44.170
  • ALREADY BY LIKE 3 OR 4 YEARS.
  • 00:14:44.170 --> 00:14:45.120
  • SHE GRADUATED.
  • 00:14:45.120 --> 00:14:47.210
  • I WAS STILL IN COLLEGE.
  • 00:14:47.210 --> 00:14:48.090
  • SHE HAD BEEN WALKING WITH THE
  • 00:14:48.090 --> 00:14:49.000
  • LORD FOR A LONG TIME.
  • 00:14:49.000 --> 00:14:49.290
  • I HAD JUST STARTED WALKING WITH
  • 00:14:49.290 --> 00:14:50.210
  • THE LORD.
  • 00:14:50.210 --> 00:14:51.230
  • SO THERE IS A CHASM STARTING TO
  • 00:14:51.230 --> 00:14:52.220
  • SHAPE OF, LIKE, I'M TRYING TO
  • 00:14:52.220 --> 00:14:53.130
  • GET MY LIFE TOGETHER AND FIGURE
  • 00:14:53.130 --> 00:14:54.050
  • IT OUT.
  • 00:14:54.050 --> 00:14:54.260
  • SHE'S LIKE WAY BEYOND
  • 00:14:54.260 --> 00:14:55.170
  • OF ALREADY GOING ON WITH HER
  • 00:14:55.170 --> 00:14:56.070
  • LIFE.
  • 00:14:56.070 --> 00:14:57.090
  • - AND YOU HAD JUST COME OUT OF
  • 00:14:57.090 --> 00:14:58.190
  • A REALLY HARD RELATIONSHIP, TOO.
  • 00:14:58.190 --> 00:14:59.160
  • - AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP.
  • 00:14:59.160 --> 00:15:00.250
  • - SO HE WAS REALLY HEALING A
  • 00:15:00.250 --> 00:15:01.180
  • LOT.
  • 00:15:01.180 --> 00:15:01.270
  • - RIGHT.
  • 00:15:01.270 --> 00:15:03.100
  • SO THE BREAK UP WAS NECESSARY.
  • 00:15:03.100 --> 00:15:05.190
  • LOOKING BACK, WE REALLY-- I WAS
  • 00:15:05.190 --> 00:15:06.160
  • NOT RISKING, I WAS NOT BEING
  • 00:15:06.160 --> 00:15:07.260
  • VULNERABLE, I WAS NOT LEADING
  • 00:15:07.260 --> 00:15:08.210
  • WELL AS A MAN.
  • 00:15:08.210 --> 00:15:10.160
  • SHE IN HER MATURITY RECOGNIZED
  • 00:15:14.220 --> 00:15:17.220
  • THAT AND SAID, IT INSTIGATED IT
  • 00:15:17.220 --> 00:15:18.140
  • HOPING SOMETHING WOULD CHANGE.
  • 00:15:18.140 --> 00:15:19.110
  • AND THAT'S WHAT I ENCOURAGE
  • 00:15:19.110 --> 00:15:20.120
  • OTHER PEOPLE WATCHING.
  • 00:15:20.120 --> 00:15:21.140
  • IF YOU ARE DATING OR IN AN
  • 00:15:21.140 --> 00:15:23.050
  • ENGAGED SEASON, SOMETIMES THE
  • 00:15:23.050 --> 00:15:26.030
  • WOMAN HAS A GOOD GOD-GIVEN POWER
  • 00:15:26.160 --> 00:15:29.160
  • TO LIKE ACTUALLY GET THE GUY TO
  • 00:15:29.160 --> 00:15:30.130
  • LIKE DO SOMETHING AND CHANGE.
  • 00:15:30.130 --> 00:15:32.080
  • A LOT OF TIMES THE WOMEN SETTLE
  • 00:15:32.080 --> 00:15:33.230
  • WHICH THEN CREATES THE MAN NEVER
  • 00:15:33.230 --> 00:15:34.260
  • CHANGING.
  • 00:15:34.260 --> 00:15:37.000
  • AND YOU HAVE THE POWER TO--
  • 00:15:37.000 --> 00:15:37.210
  • SOMETIMES IT CAN BE THE ONLY
  • 00:15:37.210 --> 00:15:39.220
  • THING THAT CAN GET THEM
  • 00:15:39.220 --> 00:15:40.100
  • MOTIVATED.
  • 00:15:40.100 --> 00:15:41.220
  • - I ALWAYS BELIEVED THAT.
  • 00:15:41.220 --> 00:15:43.060
  • I BELIEVE THAT THE MAN AND THE
  • 00:15:43.060 --> 00:15:44.260
  • WOMAN, THAT RELATIONSHIP IS SO
  • 00:15:44.260 --> 00:15:45.230
  • IMPORTANT, I FEEL LIKE MARRIAGE
  • 00:15:45.230 --> 00:15:48.110
  • IS SO GOOD FOR MEN.
  • 00:15:48.110 --> 00:15:50.150
  • WOMEN SEEM-- I HATE TO PAINT
  • 00:15:50.150 --> 00:15:53.020
  • THIS BROAD STRIPE, IT SEEMS LIKE
  • 00:15:53.020 --> 00:15:54.130
  • WOMEN WANT TO GET MARRIED, IN
  • 00:15:54.130 --> 00:15:55.280
  • GENERAL, MORE THAN MEN.
  • 00:15:55.280 --> 00:15:57.020
  • AND YET IT SEEMS LIKE MEN ALMOST
  • 00:15:57.020 --> 00:15:58.230
  • BENEFIT WAY MORE THAN WOMEN DO.
  • 00:15:58.230 --> 00:16:00.220
  • BUT I THINK THE CHALLENGE IS
  • 00:16:02.090 --> 00:16:05.090
  • VERY OFTEN, THE BRIDE WANTS TO
  • 00:16:05.090 --> 00:16:06.000
  • CHANGE THE GROOM.
  • 00:16:07.210 --> 00:16:10.210
  • BUT SHE DOES NOT BREACH THAT
  • 00:16:10.210 --> 00:16:11.110
  • BEFORE A WEDDING.
  • 00:16:11.110 --> 00:16:13.270
  • AND A LOT OF TIMES I THINK THAT
  • 00:16:13.270 --> 00:16:15.290
  • DOING SOME OF THESE THINGS WHEN
  • 00:16:15.290 --> 00:16:17.100
  • YOU ARE DATING, BEING UP FRONT
  • 00:16:17.100 --> 00:16:20.020
  • BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED LIKE,
  • 00:16:20.020 --> 00:16:20.220
  • LOOK, THIS IS A PROBLEM FOR ME.
  • 00:16:20.220 --> 00:16:22.140
  • AND YOU NEED TO CHANGE THIS NOW
  • 00:16:22.140 --> 00:16:23.100
  • BEFORE WE GET MARRIED.
  • 00:16:23.100 --> 00:16:24.070
  • THAT IS A TRAP A LOT OF TIMES
  • 00:16:24.070 --> 00:16:25.240
  • WOMEN FALL INTO BECAUSE THEY
  • 00:16:25.240 --> 00:16:27.050
  • WANT TO GET MARRIED.
  • 00:16:27.050 --> 00:16:27.280
  • DON'T YOU THINK, ALYSSA?
  • 00:16:27.280 --> 00:16:28.270
  • - OH, YEAH.
  • 00:16:28.270 --> 00:16:30.060
  • I THINK A LOT OF TIMES WOMEN CAN
  • 00:16:30.060 --> 00:16:31.180
  • THINK, I'LL CHANGE HIM.
  • 00:16:31.180 --> 00:16:32.120
  • AND YOU CAN'T CHANGE HIM.
  • 00:16:32.120 --> 00:16:33.010
  • - THAT'S RIGHT.
  • 00:16:33.010 --> 00:16:35.090
  • - BUT I THINK WHEN YOU'RE
  • 00:16:35.090 --> 00:16:36.110
  • DATING, BEING REALLY HONEST
  • 00:16:36.110 --> 00:16:37.210
  • WITH, HEY, THESE ISSUES, I'M
  • 00:16:37.210 --> 00:16:39.050
  • GOING TO BREAK UP.
  • 00:16:39.050 --> 00:16:41.220
  • I'M NOT GOING TO PUT UP WITH
  • 00:16:41.220 --> 00:16:43.030
  • THIS, IT REALLY MAKES HIM THINK
  • 00:16:43.030 --> 00:16:44.070
  • TWICE AND CHANGE.
  • 00:16:44.070 --> 00:16:45.150
  • - YEAH, THE WOMAN SHOULD NEVER
  • 00:16:45.150 --> 00:16:48.130
  • BE IN A POSITION TO WANT TO
  • 00:16:48.130 --> 00:16:49.250
  • MOTHERLY CHANGE HIM.
  • 00:16:49.250 --> 00:16:52.150
  • BUT I THINK LIKE WHAT SHE SAID,
  • 00:16:52.150 --> 00:16:53.280
  • WHICH IS REALLY POWERFUL, AND
  • 00:16:53.280 --> 00:16:55.250
  • WHAT I WAS TRYING TO SAY, IS
  • 00:16:55.250 --> 00:16:57.160
  • THAT A WOMAN CAN LIVE WITH SUCH
  • 00:16:57.160 --> 00:16:59.050
  • INTEGRITY AND TRUTH THAT IT'S
  • 00:16:59.050 --> 00:17:00.150
  • LIKE YOU'VE EITHER GOT TO COME
  • 00:17:00.150 --> 00:17:01.130
  • ALONG OR YOU'RE NOT COMING WITH
  • 00:17:01.130 --> 00:17:02.150
  • ME, TYPE OF THING.
  • 00:17:02.150 --> 00:17:03.120
  • - ISN'T MARRIAGE -- I MEAN A
  • 00:17:03.120 --> 00:17:04.230
  • MARRIAGE IS LIKE BASICALLY YOUR
  • 00:17:04.230 --> 00:17:05.260
  • DEEPEST FRIENDSHIP.
  • 00:17:05.260 --> 00:17:06.150
  • - TOTALLY.
  • 00:17:06.150 --> 00:17:08.000
  • - AND AT THE HEART OF EVERY
  • 00:17:08.000 --> 00:17:09.130
  • GREAT FRIENDSHIP IS HELPING EACH
  • 00:17:09.130 --> 00:17:10.050
  • OTHER.
  • 00:17:10.050 --> 00:17:11.070
  • I FEEL LIKE, IT'S NOT LIKE ONE
  • 00:17:11.070 --> 00:17:12.020
  • SPOUSE IS THERE TO HELP THE
  • 00:17:12.020 --> 00:17:13.190
  • OTHER, IT'S THAT YOU'RE BOTH
  • 00:17:13.190 --> 00:17:14.160
  • THERE TO BUILD ONE ANOTHER,
  • 00:17:14.160 --> 00:17:15.230
  • SUPPORT EACH OTHER'S GIFTS,
  • 00:17:15.230 --> 00:17:16.270
  • SHARPEN EACH OTHER, CONFRONT
  • 00:17:16.270 --> 00:17:18.120
  • EACH OTHER, HOLD EACH OTHER
  • 00:17:18.120 --> 00:17:19.250
  • ACCOUNTABLE.
  • 00:17:19.250 --> 00:17:22.090
  • THAT WILL HAPPEN IN A MARRIAGE
  • 00:17:22.090 --> 00:17:24.250
  • AND I THINK SOMETIMES THE
  • 00:17:24.250 --> 00:17:26.290
  • ROUGHEST TIMES OF MARRIAGE.
  • 00:17:26.290 --> 00:17:28.270
  • TELL ME ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE.
  • 00:17:28.270 --> 00:17:29.180
  • HOW LONG HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN
  • 00:17:29.180 --> 00:17:30.080
  • MARRIED?
  • 00:17:30.080 --> 00:17:32.010
  • - WE JUST CELEBRATED OUR 5TH
  • 00:17:32.010 --> 00:17:32.240
  • ANNIVERSARY.
  • 00:17:32.240 --> 00:17:33.200
  • - CONGRATULATIONS.
  • 00:17:34.050 --> 00:17:37.050
  • TELL ME ABOUT SOME OF THE THINGS
  • 00:17:37.050 --> 00:17:39.200
  • IN YOUR MARRIAGE, OR IN YOUR
  • 00:17:39.200 --> 00:17:40.100
  • RELATIONSHIP THAT LED TO YOU
  • 00:17:40.100 --> 00:17:41.120
  • WRITING "LOVE THAT LASTS" AND
  • 00:17:41.120 --> 00:17:42.030
  • GOT YOU TO THIS BOOK?
  • 00:17:42.030 --> 00:17:43.070
  • - YOU GO AHEAD.
  • 00:17:43.070 --> 00:17:43.270
  • - YOU GO AHEAD.
  • 00:17:45.130 --> 00:17:48.130
  • - SO, I THINK, BECAUSE OF OUR
  • 00:17:48.130 --> 00:17:51.000
  • DIFFERENT UPBRINGING, WHICH WE
  • 00:17:51.000 --> 00:17:52.030
  • ALLUDED TO, I CALL IT MY
  • 00:17:52.030 --> 00:17:53.240
  • PRODIGAL SON LIFESTYLE, THE MORE
  • 00:17:53.240 --> 00:17:56.020
  • OF JUST LIKE WHATEVER, I DON'T
  • 00:17:56.020 --> 00:17:57.060
  • WANT ANYTHING DO-- A LITTLE BIT
  • 00:17:57.060 --> 00:17:58.100
  • BITTERNESS AND ALL THOSE THING,
  • 00:17:58.100 --> 00:17:59.260
  • WHICH LED TO SOME DAMAGE AND
  • 00:17:59.260 --> 00:18:01.020
  • HURT AND PAIN THAT WE--
  • 00:18:01.020 --> 00:18:02.030
  • - I REMEMBER READING IN YOUR
  • 00:18:02.030 --> 00:18:03.240
  • BOOK THIS MORNING, YOU SAID SHE
  • 00:18:03.240 --> 00:18:05.270
  • WAS A VIRGIN WHEN YOU GOT
  • 00:18:05.270 --> 00:18:06.160
  • MARRIED.
  • 00:18:06.160 --> 00:18:07.220
  • BUT YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY AT
  • 00:18:07.220 --> 00:18:08.290
  • 16 IN A CHURCH PARKING LOT?
  • 00:18:08.290 --> 00:18:09.190
  • - TOTALLY.
  • 00:18:09.190 --> 00:18:11.180
  • THAT'S THE FIRST THREE SENTENCES
  • 00:18:11.180 --> 00:18:12.100
  • OF THE BOOK.
  • 00:18:12.100 --> 00:18:13.090
  • SO ANYONE WHO WANTS TO SAY WHOA,
  • 00:18:13.090 --> 00:18:14.100
  • OKAY, THERE WE GO.
  • 00:18:14.100 --> 00:18:16.180
  • BUT THAT-- WE SPECIFICALLY
  • 00:18:16.180 --> 00:18:18.090
  • WANTED TO BE VULNERABLE AND
  • 00:18:18.090 --> 00:18:19.020
  • TRANSPARENT IN THIS BOOK.
  • 00:18:19.020 --> 00:18:21.030
  • BECAUSE I THINK THAT, AT LEAST
  • 00:18:21.030 --> 00:18:21.260
  • US, WE READ A LOT OF MARRIAGE
  • 00:18:21.260 --> 00:18:22.290
  • BOOKS WHERE I CAN'T RELATE
  • 00:18:22.290 --> 00:18:24.130
  • BECAUSE I'M NOT THAT PERFECT.
  • 00:18:24.130 --> 00:18:25.040
  • AND I FEEL SOMETIMES LIKE THE
  • 00:18:25.040 --> 00:18:26.170
  • MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP BOOKS ARE
  • 00:18:26.170 --> 00:18:27.100
  • LIKE THAT.
  • 00:18:27.100 --> 00:18:28.180
  • WE SAID NO, EVERYTHING WE
  • 00:18:28.180 --> 00:18:30.140
  • LEARNED IN OUR RELATIONSHIP IS
  • 00:18:30.140 --> 00:18:31.060
  • THROUGH A LOT OF TIMES THE
  • 00:18:31.060 --> 00:18:32.020
  • FAILURE.
  • 00:18:32.020 --> 00:18:32.260
  • LET'S SHARE THAT.
  • 00:18:32.260 --> 00:18:34.270
  • LET'S SHARE WHERE GOD REDEEMED
  • 00:18:34.270 --> 00:18:36.090
  • THESE MOMENTS AND THESE TIMES
  • 00:18:36.090 --> 00:18:38.010
  • AND TAUGHT US SOMETHING AND
  • 00:18:38.010 --> 00:18:39.120
  • BROUGHT US CLOSER TOGETHER.
  • 00:18:39.120 --> 00:18:40.200
  • SO WE KIND OF HAD TO BRIDGE THIS
  • 00:18:40.200 --> 00:18:41.160
  • GAP OF, LIKE, MAN, WE HAD SUCH
  • 00:18:41.160 --> 00:18:43.020
  • DIFFERENT UPBRINGINGS, SUCH
  • 00:18:43.020 --> 00:18:44.090
  • DIFFERENT THINGS, BUT REALIZING
  • 00:18:44.150 --> 00:18:47.150
  • THAT BOTH WAYS CAN STILL HAVE
  • 00:18:47.150 --> 00:18:48.160
  • PROBLEMATIC THINGS.
  • 00:18:48.160 --> 00:18:50.110
  • LIKE THE PRODIGAL SON LIFESTYLE
  • 00:18:50.110 --> 00:18:51.140
  • HAS OBVIOUS PROBLEMATIC THINGS,
  • 00:18:51.140 --> 00:18:53.220
  • YOU TRY TO LIVE THAT LIFE AND IT
  • 00:18:53.220 --> 00:18:54.270
  • DOES NOT SATISFY.
  • 00:18:54.270 --> 00:18:56.070
  • IT'S LIKE DRINKING TOILET WATER
  • 00:18:56.070 --> 00:18:57.260
  • WHERE IT MIGHT TASTE GOOD WHEN
  • 00:18:57.260 --> 00:18:59.060
  • YOU'RE IN A DESERT, BUT IT MAKES
  • 00:18:59.060 --> 00:19:00.070
  • YOU SICK THE NEXT DAY, RIGHT?
  • 00:19:00.070 --> 00:19:01.180
  • AND THERE IS THIS RELIGIOUS SIDE
  • 00:19:01.180 --> 00:19:03.200
  • OF CULTURE THAT SOMETIMES CAN BE
  • 00:19:03.200 --> 00:19:05.040
  • A LITTLE LEGALISTIC OR LIKE A
  • 00:19:05.040 --> 00:19:05.280
  • PURITY CULTURE WE CALL IT.
  • 00:19:05.280 --> 00:19:07.240
  • WHICH CAN SOMETIMES ELEVATE
  • 00:19:07.240 --> 00:19:08.260
  • SOMETHING LIKE VIRGINITY OR
  • 00:19:08.260 --> 00:19:11.010
  • SEXUALITY TO THE LEVEL OF
  • 00:19:11.010 --> 00:19:11.200
  • HOLINESS.
  • 00:19:11.200 --> 00:19:13.100
  • NO, THAT IS A STATURE OF THE
  • 00:19:13.100 --> 00:19:14.010
  • HEART.
  • 00:19:14.010 --> 00:19:15.190
  • OF COURSE YOU STILL WANT TO LIVE
  • 00:19:15.190 --> 00:19:17.130
  • IN HOLINESS AND WALK IN THAT,
  • 00:19:17.130 --> 00:19:18.190
  • BUT THAT AT THE END OF THE DAY
  • 00:19:18.190 --> 00:19:20.030
  • IS DEFINED BY FOLLOWING JESUS.
  • 00:19:20.030 --> 00:19:21.060
  • AND ALL THAT OTHER STUFF WILL
  • 00:19:21.060 --> 00:19:22.030
  • FOLLOW BEHIND.
  • 00:19:22.030 --> 00:19:24.060
  • - I FEEL LIKE, TOO, GROWING UP
  • 00:19:24.100 --> 00:19:27.100
  • IN THE CHRISTIAN CULTURE AND THE
  • 00:19:27.100 --> 00:19:28.120
  • I KISSED DATING GOODBYE, I HAD
  • 00:19:28.120 --> 00:19:29.240
  • THIS LIST OF WHAT I WANTED IN A
  • 00:19:29.240 --> 00:19:32.190
  • HUSBAND AND WHAT A RELATIONSHIP
  • 00:19:32.190 --> 00:19:33.140
  • SHOULD LOOK LIKE, BUT I ALSO
  • 00:19:33.140 --> 00:19:34.280
  • THINK A LOT OF IT WAS OUT OF
  • 00:19:34.280 --> 00:19:35.260
  • FEAR.
  • 00:19:35.260 --> 00:19:37.120
  • I DIDN'T WANT TO LOOK LIKE THE
  • 00:19:37.120 --> 00:19:38.200
  • CULTURE.
  • 00:19:38.200 --> 00:19:40.230
  • I WAS FEARFUL THAT IT WOULD FAIL
  • 00:19:40.230 --> 00:19:41.150
  • OR THERE WOULD BE CONFLICT OR
  • 00:19:41.150 --> 00:19:42.290
  • WHAT IF I LOST MY VIRGINITY?
  • 00:19:42.290 --> 00:19:44.200
  • INSTEAD OF, WHAT DOES GOD WANT
  • 00:19:44.200 --> 00:19:45.160
  • FOR ME?
  • 00:19:45.160 --> 00:19:46.100
  • WHAT IS HIS BEST AND WHAT IS THE
  • 00:19:46.100 --> 00:19:47.120
  • MOST FLOURISHING IN A
  • 00:19:47.120 --> 00:19:48.060
  • RELATIONSHIP?
  • 00:19:48.060 --> 00:19:48.280
  • WHAT IS A REAL RELATIONSHIP?
  • 00:19:48.280 --> 00:19:50.030
  • - IT ALMOST SOUNDS LIKE YOU
  • 00:19:50.030 --> 00:19:51.260
  • WERE THE PRODIGAL SON BUT YOU
  • 00:19:51.260 --> 00:19:53.070
  • WERE ALMOST LIKE A LITTLE
  • 00:19:53.070 --> 00:19:54.090
  • LEGALISTIC.
  • 00:19:54.090 --> 00:19:55.010
  • LIKE YOU BOTH HAD BAGGAGE ON
  • 00:19:55.010 --> 00:19:56.070
  • EITHER END.
  • 00:19:56.070 --> 00:19:57.000
  • WAS THAT A SOURCE OF CONFLICT
  • 00:19:57.000 --> 00:19:59.290
  • WHEN YOU GOT MARRIED?
  • 00:19:59.290 --> 00:20:01.260
  • OR HAD YOU WORKED THROUGH IT
  • 00:20:01.260 --> 00:20:02.210
  • BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED?
  • 00:20:02.210 --> 00:20:03.200
  • - I THINK WE WORKED THROUGH IT
  • 00:20:03.200 --> 00:20:04.140
  • WHILE DATING.
  • 00:20:04.140 --> 00:20:05.170
  • - AND THE COOL PART, WE SAW THE
  • 00:20:05.170 --> 00:20:06.110
  • EPIPHANY OF IT.
  • 00:20:06.110 --> 00:20:07.080
  • WE WORKED THROUGH IT IN DATING
  • 00:20:07.080 --> 00:20:08.210
  • AND IN MARRIAGE WE SAID, OH,
  • 00:20:08.210 --> 00:20:10.010
  • THERE IS A BETTER THIRD WAY.
  • 00:20:10.010 --> 00:20:10.260
  • NO MATTER WHAT KIND OF SIDE YOU
  • 00:20:10.260 --> 00:20:11.230
  • COME--
  • 00:20:11.230 --> 00:20:12.130
  • - WHAT IS THE THIRD WAY?
  • 00:20:12.130 --> 00:20:14.270
  • - IT IS KIND OF THAT ANALOGY I
  • 00:20:14.270 --> 00:20:16.260
  • USED IN THE BEGINNING, LIKE, THE
  • 00:20:16.260 --> 00:20:17.250
  • RULES ARE STILL OKAY, BUT THERE
  • 00:20:17.250 --> 00:20:18.180
  • HAS TO BE INTIMACY AND
  • 00:20:18.180 --> 00:20:19.250
  • RELATIONSHIP AT THE CENTER AND
  • 00:20:19.250 --> 00:20:20.160
  • FOLLOWING JESUS WITH THIS
  • 00:20:20.160 --> 00:20:21.170
  • VITALITY AND THIS BEAUTIFULNESS.
  • 00:20:21.170 --> 00:20:22.250
  • LIKE WHAT SHE SAID, THE THIRD
  • 00:20:22.250 --> 00:20:24.200
  • WAY IS DOING IT BECAUSE YOU KNOW
  • 00:20:24.200 --> 00:20:26.110
  • IT'S THE BEST WAY.
  • 00:20:26.110 --> 00:20:27.160
  • IT'S GOD'S BETTER WAY FOR SEX,
  • 00:20:27.160 --> 00:20:28.150
  • DATING, MARRIAGE AND LOVE.
  • 00:20:28.150 --> 00:20:29.040
  • NOT FEAR.
  • 00:20:29.040 --> 00:20:30.260
  • AND THAT IS WHERE RELIGION
  • 00:20:30.260 --> 00:20:31.160
  • SOMETIMES THRIVES, IS THAT WE
  • 00:20:31.200 --> 00:20:34.200
  • DON'T REALIZE THAT GOD IS THE
  • 00:20:34.200 --> 00:20:36.220
  • ONE SETTING THE TONE FROM THE
  • 00:20:36.220 --> 00:20:37.220
  • SCRIPTURE AND SATAN IS THE ONE
  • 00:20:37.220 --> 00:20:39.010
  • COMING AND STEALING HIS IDEAS,
  • 00:20:39.010 --> 00:20:40.080
  • AND WE FLIP THAT WHERE WE LOOK
  • 00:20:40.080 --> 00:20:41.270
  • AT CULTURE AND WE SAY, THAT'S
  • 00:20:41.270 --> 00:20:42.290
  • MAKING ME REALLY SCARED.
  • 00:20:42.290 --> 00:20:44.160
  • I'M GOING TO RESPOND OUT OF FEAR
  • 00:20:44.160 --> 00:20:46.000
  • AND ALL THESE THINGS.
  • 00:20:46.000 --> 00:20:46.220
  • NO, NO, THEY CAN DO WHATEVER
  • 00:20:46.220 --> 00:20:48.160
  • THEY WANT.
  • 00:20:48.160 --> 00:20:49.220
  • I'M GOING AHEAD WITH WHAT JESUS
  • 00:20:49.220 --> 00:20:50.140
  • SAID IS HIS WAY.
  • 00:20:50.140 --> 00:20:51.150
  • - SO, ALYSSA, WHAT WOULD YOU
  • 00:20:51.150 --> 00:20:52.210
  • SAY, THEN, IN YOUR MARRIAGE IS
  • 00:20:52.210 --> 00:20:54.030
  • PROBABLY THE NUMBER ONE THING
  • 00:20:54.030 --> 00:20:56.030
  • YOU'VE LEARNED THROUGH THIS
  • 00:20:56.030 --> 00:20:57.260
  • PROCESS THAT'S BEEN PROBABLY THE
  • 00:20:57.260 --> 00:20:58.280
  • BIGGEST REVELATION YOU BROUGHT
  • 00:20:58.280 --> 00:20:59.190
  • TO THE BOOK?
  • 00:20:59.190 --> 00:21:00.280
  • - I THINK FOR ME, I NATURALLY
  • 00:21:00.280 --> 00:21:02.130
  • DON'T LIKE CONFLICTS.
  • 00:21:02.130 --> 00:21:04.270
  • THAT IS ONE OF THE REASONS WE
  • 00:21:04.270 --> 00:21:05.290
  • FIRST BROKE UP IN THE FIRST
  • 00:21:05.290 --> 00:21:07.030
  • PLACE.
  • 00:21:07.030 --> 00:21:08.150
  • I NEVER WANTED TO SAY ANYTHING
  • 00:21:08.150 --> 00:21:09.120
  • THAT BOTHERED ME, BECAUSE I
  • 00:21:09.120 --> 00:21:10.190
  • DIDN'T WANT THERE TO BE
  • 00:21:10.190 --> 00:21:11.070
  • CONFLICT.
  • 00:21:11.070 --> 00:21:12.150
  • I WANTED IT TO BE PERFECT.
  • 00:21:12.150 --> 00:21:13.130
  • THEN WHEN WE GOT MARRIED, THERE
  • 00:21:13.130 --> 00:21:14.130
  • HAS TO BE CONFLICT.
  • 00:21:14.130 --> 00:21:15.260
  • YOU GET IN FIGHTS.
  • 00:21:15.260 --> 00:21:17.110
  • I REMEMBER OUR FIRST YEAR OF
  • 00:21:17.110 --> 00:21:18.180
  • MARRIAGE WE GOT IN THIS TERRIBLE
  • 00:21:18.180 --> 00:21:19.190
  • FIGHT AND I WAS BAWLING IN THE
  • 00:21:19.190 --> 00:21:21.120
  • BATHROOM AND JUST LIKE WHAT HAVE
  • 00:21:21.120 --> 00:21:22.040
  • I DONE?
  • 00:21:22.040 --> 00:21:23.140
  • AND WHO DID I MARRY?
  • 00:21:23.140 --> 00:21:25.140
  • - I THOUGHT IT WAS A FOUR ON
  • 00:21:25.140 --> 00:21:26.240
  • THE FIGHT SCALE.
  • 00:21:26.240 --> 00:21:27.190
  • - IT'S A TEN.
  • 00:21:27.190 --> 00:21:30.100
  • I THINK JEFF COMING TO ME AND
  • 00:21:30.100 --> 00:21:32.050
  • BEING LIKE, BABE, I'M NOT GOING
  • 00:21:32.050 --> 00:21:33.080
  • ANYWHERE, LIKE, I'M HERE FOR
  • 00:21:33.080 --> 00:21:34.090
  • GOOD.
  • 00:21:34.090 --> 00:21:35.260
  • AND I LOVE YOU.
  • 00:21:35.260 --> 00:21:36.270
  • WE ARE GOING TO WORK THROUGH
  • 00:21:36.270 --> 00:21:37.170
  • THIS.
  • 00:21:37.170 --> 00:21:38.170
  • I THINK THAT IS THE MOST
  • 00:21:38.170 --> 00:21:39.200
  • BEAUTIFUL THING IN MARRIAGE, NO
  • 00:21:39.200 --> 00:21:41.060
  • MATTER HOW MESSY YOU ARE, HE
  • 00:21:41.140 --> 00:21:44.140
  • SEES ALL OF ME AND HE LOVES ALL
  • 00:21:44.240 --> 00:21:47.240
  • OF ME AND WE ARE GOING TO LIKE
  • 00:21:47.240 --> 00:21:49.010
  • PUSH THROUGH IT TOGETHER.
  • 00:21:49.010 --> 00:21:49.250
  • SO BEING VULNERABLE, BEING
  • 00:21:49.250 --> 00:21:50.220
  • MESSY, BUT YOUR GRACE WAS SO
  • 00:21:50.220 --> 00:21:52.170
  • BEAUTIFUL AND SUCH A PICTURE OF
  • 00:21:52.170 --> 00:21:53.120
  • GOD'S GRACE TO ME.
  • 00:21:53.120 --> 00:21:54.070
  • - THAT IS A GREAT SEGUE.
  • 00:21:54.070 --> 00:21:56.080
  • COMING UP NEXT, WE ARE GOING TO
  • 00:21:56.080 --> 00:21:59.020
  • BE TALKING ABOUT DATING.
  • 00:21:59.020 --> 00:21:59.290
  • WE ARE GOING TO BE TALK GOING
  • 00:21:59.290 --> 00:22:01.130
  • SEX, AND EVEN THINGS LIKE
  • 00:22:01.130 --> 00:22:02.020
  • PORNOGRAPHY AND SEX BEFORE
  • 00:22:02.220 --> 00:22:05.220
  • MARRIAGE.
  • 00:22:05.220 --> 00:22:06.190
  • I WOULD EVEN LIKE TO ASK YOU
  • 00:22:06.190 --> 00:22:07.190
  • GUYS HOW DO YOU TALK TO
  • 00:22:07.190 --> 00:22:10.130
  • TEENAGERS OR COLLEGE STUDENTS,
  • 00:22:10.130 --> 00:22:11.110
  • THERE ARE A LOT OF PARENTS
  • 00:22:11.110 --> 00:22:12.080
  • WATCHING TODAY, GRANDPARENTS,
  • 00:22:12.080 --> 00:22:13.000
  • HOW DO WE TALK TO YOUNG PEOPLE
  • 00:22:13.000 --> 00:22:15.040
  • IN OUR LIVES IF WE WANT TO
  • 00:22:15.040 --> 00:22:16.160
  • MENTOR THAT SEE US AS PRUDE IN
  • 00:22:16.160 --> 00:22:18.020
  • THIS WAY AND TO BE LIKE, NO,
  • 00:22:18.020 --> 00:22:19.260
  • THIS IS GOD'S BEST FOR YOUR
  • 00:22:19.260 --> 00:22:20.160
  • LIFE.
  • 00:22:20.160 --> 00:22:21.050
  • WE WILL BE TALKING ABOUT THAT
  • 00:22:21.050 --> 00:22:22.030
  • COMING UP RIGHT AFTER THIS.
  • 00:22:22.030 --> 00:22:24.180
  • - MUSIC
  • 00:22:25.290 --> 00:22:28.290
  • THE QUESTION I THINK ABOUT OFTEN
  • 00:22:28.290 --> 00:22:30.200
  • IS, IF THERE IS A GROUP OF
  • 00:22:30.200 --> 00:22:33.110
  • PEOPLE AND ALL OF THEM ARE SICK,
  • 00:22:33.110 --> 00:22:35.280
  • DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY KNOW THAT
  • 00:22:35.280 --> 00:22:37.170
  • THEY ARE SICK?
  • 00:22:37.170 --> 00:22:40.040
  • I THINK IT SPECIFICALLY RELATES
  • 00:22:40.040 --> 00:22:42.100
  • TO OUR WORLD RIGHT NOW WITH
  • 00:22:42.100 --> 00:22:43.170
  • LOVE, SEXUALITY, DATING,
  • 00:22:43.170 --> 00:22:45.160
  • MARRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIPS.
  • 00:22:45.160 --> 00:22:47.280
  • WE ARE INFECTED WITH THIS
  • 00:22:47.280 --> 00:22:49.140
  • DISEASE OF FAKE LOVE.
  • 00:22:49.140 --> 00:22:50.290
  • OF A BAD VIEW OF LOVE, OF LIES
  • 00:22:50.290 --> 00:22:52.150
  • WE BELIEVE ABOUT SEXUALITY AND
  • 00:22:52.150 --> 00:22:53.080
  • MARRIAGE.
  • 00:22:53.080 --> 00:22:55.130
  • AND IT IS KILLING US AND IT IS
  • 00:22:55.130 --> 00:22:56.050
  • HURTING US.
  • 00:22:56.050 --> 00:22:57.130
  • I KNOW THAT WAS MY STORY.
  • 00:22:57.130 --> 00:22:59.100
  • PORN ADDICTION STARTING AT AGE
  • 00:22:59.100 --> 00:23:00.080
  • ELEVEN OR TWELVE, HOOK-UPS, AND
  • 00:23:00.080 --> 00:23:02.050
  • SEEING GIRLS AS OBJECTS STARTING
  • 00:23:02.050 --> 00:23:04.230
  • IN HIGH SCHOOL, AND YOU DON'T
  • 00:23:04.230 --> 00:23:06.290
  • REALIZE UNTIL LATER THAT THE
  • 00:23:06.290 --> 00:23:07.230
  • SYMPTOMS ACTUALLY START TO SHOW.
  • 00:23:07.230 --> 00:23:09.220
  • I THINK THAT IS A LOT OF
  • 00:23:09.220 --> 00:23:10.110
  • PEOPLE'S STORIES.
  • 00:23:10.110 --> 00:23:12.040
  • I FIND IT INTERESTING THAT THE
  • 00:23:12.230 --> 00:23:15.230
  • VERY THING ALMOST ALL OF US ARE
  • 00:23:15.230 --> 00:23:16.260
  • PURSUING MOST, OR THE THING WE
  • 00:23:16.260 --> 00:23:18.130
  • WANT THE MOST, INTIMACY, ROMANCE
  • 00:23:18.130 --> 00:23:20.020
  • AND LOVE AND ANOTHER PERSON TO
  • 00:23:20.020 --> 00:23:21.250
  • CONNECT WITH, WEIRDLY BECOMES
  • 00:23:21.250 --> 00:23:24.190
  • THE CENTER OF ALMOST ALL OF OUR
  • 00:23:24.190 --> 00:23:26.030
  • PAIN AND HURT AND SHAME AND
  • 00:23:26.030 --> 00:23:27.260
  • ANGST.
  • 00:23:27.260 --> 00:23:29.230
  • WHAT IF THERE IS A BETTER WAY?
  • 00:23:29.230 --> 00:23:31.180
  • - I THINK A LOT OF TIMES IN THE
  • 00:23:31.200 --> 00:23:34.200
  • CHRISTIAN CULTURE WE MAKE A LOT
  • 00:23:34.200 --> 00:23:35.180
  • OF DECISIONS OUT OF FEAR.
  • 00:23:35.180 --> 00:23:37.240
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:23:37.240 --> 00:23:39.020
  • - AND NOT WANTING TO LOOK LIKE
  • 00:23:39.020 --> 00:23:40.270
  • THE CULTURE OR MAKE THOSE
  • 00:23:40.270 --> 00:23:42.190
  • MISTAKES, THAT IS NOT WHAT THE
  • 00:23:42.190 --> 00:23:44.000
  • LORD WANTS FOR US EITHER.
  • 00:23:44.000 --> 00:23:46.270
  • I REALLY WANTED TO BE MARRIED.
  • 00:23:46.270 --> 00:23:49.020
  • THAT IS A GOOD DESIRE.
  • 00:23:49.020 --> 00:23:51.010
  • BUT I WANTED IT SO MUCH THAT IT
  • 00:23:51.010 --> 00:23:52.130
  • BECAME AN IDOL IN MY LIFE.
  • 00:23:52.130 --> 00:23:55.130
  • AND THEN I THINK BECAUSE I
  • 00:23:55.130 --> 00:23:56.240
  • REALIZED IT WAS NOT HAPPENING,
  • 00:23:56.240 --> 00:23:58.260
  • THERE WEREN'T GUYS PURSUING ME,
  • 00:23:58.260 --> 00:24:00.270
  • I STARTED TO HAVE AN EATING
  • 00:24:00.270 --> 00:24:01.250
  • DISORDER.
  • 00:24:01.250 --> 00:24:03.260
  • IT STARTED BECAUSE I WOULD LOOK
  • 00:24:03.260 --> 00:24:05.080
  • AROUND AND SEE ALL THESE
  • 00:24:05.080 --> 00:24:07.050
  • BEAUTIFUL GIRLS DATING GUYS AND
  • 00:24:07.050 --> 00:24:08.120
  • MOST OF THEM WERE SKINNY.
  • 00:24:08.120 --> 00:24:10.020
  • SO I STARTED TO BELIEVE THIS LIE
  • 00:24:10.020 --> 00:24:11.200
  • THAT SKINNY EQUALS BEAUTIFUL.
  • 00:24:11.200 --> 00:24:13.250
  • AND SO I BECAME IN BONDAGE OF
  • 00:24:13.250 --> 00:24:16.060
  • THIS EATING DISORDER FOR YEARS.
  • 00:24:16.060 --> 00:24:18.140
  • HE WANTS US TO HAVE FREEDOM AND
  • 00:24:18.140 --> 00:24:20.030
  • JOY TO LIVE THIS ABOUNDING LIFE
  • 00:24:20.030 --> 00:24:22.040
  • AND RELATIONSHIPS AND SEXUALITY,
  • 00:24:22.050 --> 00:24:25.050
  • LIKE, ARE A GOOD THING, AND HE
  • 00:24:25.050 --> 00:24:26.010
  • CREATED IT.
  • 00:24:26.010 --> 00:24:27.020
  • SO I HAD TO HAVE WISDOM IN IT
  • 00:24:27.020 --> 00:24:28.100
  • AND JOY IN IT, BUT NOT LIVING IN
  • 00:24:28.100 --> 00:24:30.020
  • FEAR.
  • 00:24:32.180 --> 00:24:35.180
  • - AT WHAT POINT CAN WE FINALLY
  • 00:24:35.180 --> 00:24:37.070
  • ADMIT IT IS NOT WORKING?
  • 00:24:37.070 --> 00:24:38.000
  • IS THERE A BETTER WAY?
  • 00:24:38.000 --> 00:24:38.210
  • IS THERE A THIRD WAY?
  • 00:24:38.210 --> 00:24:40.030
  • IS THERE A WAY THAT LEADS TO
  • 00:24:40.030 --> 00:24:41.270
  • JOY, INTIMACY, LIFE, VITALITY,
  • 00:24:41.270 --> 00:24:43.160
  • PEACE AND BLESSING AND
  • 00:24:43.160 --> 00:24:44.080
  • FLOURISHING.
  • 00:24:44.080 --> 00:24:46.150
  • AND WHETHER IT'S THE RELIGIOUS
  • 00:24:46.150 --> 00:24:48.200
  • CIRCLES OR THE LIES WE BELIEVE
  • 00:24:48.200 --> 00:24:50.000
  • IN CULTURE, I THINK THE PROBLEM
  • 00:24:50.000 --> 00:24:50.250
  • IS THE SAME.
  • 00:24:50.250 --> 00:24:53.010
  • IT IS THIS MICRO FOCUS ON THE
  • 00:24:53.010 --> 00:24:54.270
  • FACT THAT WE THINK MARRIAGE
  • 00:24:54.270 --> 00:24:56.030
  • SELF-TERMINATES ON US.
  • 00:24:56.030 --> 00:24:57.190
  • IT IS JUST ABOUT US.
  • 00:24:57.190 --> 00:24:59.130
  • AND TO ME, THAT IS THE ANTIDOTE
  • 00:24:59.130 --> 00:25:01.080
  • FOR THAT SICKNESS OF REALIZING
  • 00:25:01.080 --> 00:25:03.100
  • THAT TWO PEOPLE BECOMING ONE IN
  • 00:25:03.100 --> 00:25:04.290
  • THE PROMISE OF MARRIAGE IS
  • 00:25:04.290 --> 00:25:07.000
  • ACTUALLY AN INVITATION INTO THE
  • 00:25:07.000 --> 00:25:07.220
  • DIVINE DRAMA.
  • 00:25:07.220 --> 00:25:09.210
  • YOU ARE ACTUALLY BEING CALLED
  • 00:25:10.040 --> 00:25:13.040
  • INTO THIS GREATER STORY WHERE IT
  • 00:25:13.040 --> 00:25:14.010
  • IS NOT JUST ABOUT MAKING ME FEEL
  • 00:25:14.010 --> 00:25:15.160
  • BETTER, BUT IT IS ACTUALLY ABOUT
  • 00:25:15.160 --> 00:25:16.180
  • GIVING, WHY?
  • 00:25:16.180 --> 00:25:17.280
  • BECAUSE IT IS A GREATER STORY
  • 00:25:17.280 --> 00:25:20.040
  • AND I GIVE BECAUSE HE GAVE TO US
  • 00:25:20.040 --> 00:25:22.200
  • FIRST.
  • 00:25:22.200 --> 00:25:23.100
  • AND THAT'S A STORY WORTH LIVING,
  • 00:25:23.100 --> 00:25:24.190
  • THAT'S A STORY WORTH TELLING.
  • 00:25:24.190 --> 00:25:26.160
  • WHEN YOU LIVE IN DIVINE DRAMA,
  • 00:25:26.160 --> 00:25:28.000
  • YOU LIVE IN WHAT MARRIAGE IS
  • 00:25:28.000 --> 00:25:30.170
  • ACTUALLY FOR, THAT'S WHEN THINGS
  • 00:25:30.170 --> 00:25:31.090
  • CLICK TOGETHER.
  • 00:25:31.090 --> 00:25:33.050
  • THAT'S WHEN YOU FIND THE PEACE
  • 00:25:33.050 --> 00:25:35.010
  • AND FLOURISHING IN YOUR MARRIAGE
  • 00:25:35.010 --> 00:25:36.090
  • THAT YOU HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR
  • 00:25:36.090 --> 00:25:37.060
  • THIS WHOLE TIME.
  • 00:25:37.060 --> 00:25:39.230
  • - MUSIC
  • 00:25:46.030 --> 00:25:49.030
  • - HEY, I'M BOBBY SCHULLER.
  • 00:25:49.030 --> 00:25:51.050
  • WE'RE SO GLAD YOU ARE JOINING US
  • 00:25:51.050 --> 00:25:52.060
  • HERE ON PRAISE.
  • 00:25:52.060 --> 00:25:53.240
  • I'M THE HOST OF HOUR OF POWER.
  • 00:25:53.240 --> 00:25:55.240
  • AND THIS MORNING I WAS READING
  • 00:25:55.240 --> 00:25:57.220
  • THIS GREAT BOOK, "LOVE THAT
  • 00:25:57.220 --> 00:25:59.000
  • LASTS," AND IT IS BY JEFFERSON
  • 00:25:59.000 --> 00:26:00.250
  • AND ALYSSA BETHKE WHO ARE WITH
  • 00:26:00.250 --> 00:26:01.250
  • US TODAY, OUR GUESTS.
  • 00:26:01.250 --> 00:26:04.130
  • THIS HAS BEEN SO FAR SUCH A
  • 00:26:04.130 --> 00:26:05.030
  • GREAT CONVERSATION.
  • 00:26:05.030 --> 00:26:06.160
  • THERE IS A LOT I WANT TO TALK
  • 00:26:06.160 --> 00:26:08.090
  • ABOUT, SOME GREAT JEWELS IN THIS
  • 00:26:08.090 --> 00:26:10.120
  • BOOK THAT YOU HAVE TO OFFER IN
  • 00:26:10.120 --> 00:26:11.140
  • PARTICULAR ABOUT DATING, SEX, A
  • 00:26:11.140 --> 00:26:12.290
  • LOT OF MYTHS THEREIN, AND A
  • 00:26:12.290 --> 00:26:14.190
  • LITTLE BIT LATER WE ARE GOING TO
  • 00:26:14.190 --> 00:26:17.120
  • BE TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE AND
  • 00:26:17.120 --> 00:26:18.030
  • WHAT YOU HAVE LEARNED.
  • 00:26:18.030 --> 00:26:19.210
  • YOU ARE BOTH PARENTS.
  • 00:26:19.210 --> 00:26:20.210
  • YOU HAVE A 3 YEAR OLD AND A 1
  • 00:26:20.210 --> 00:26:22.000
  • YEAR OLD.
  • 00:26:22.000 --> 00:26:22.170
  • YOU LIVE IN MAUI.
  • 00:26:22.170 --> 00:26:24.020
  • WE ARE SO GLAD YOU ARE HERE
  • 00:26:24.020 --> 00:26:24.220
  • TODAY.
  • 00:26:24.220 --> 00:26:26.210
  • AND LET'S JUST BEGIN BY TALKING
  • 00:26:26.210 --> 00:26:28.110
  • ABOUT DATING AND SOME OF THOSE
  • 00:26:28.110 --> 00:26:29.020
  • MYTHS.
  • 00:26:29.020 --> 00:26:31.190
  • HOW IS DATING-- I MEAN DATING
  • 00:26:31.190 --> 00:26:33.240
  • HAS CHANGED QUITE A BIT SINCE I
  • 00:26:33.240 --> 00:26:36.100
  • WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL, THE LAST
  • 00:26:36.100 --> 00:26:37.280
  • MAYBE 10, 15 YEARS FOR YOU GUYS,
  • 00:26:37.280 --> 00:26:39.190
  • VERY DIFFERENT.
  • 00:26:39.190 --> 00:26:41.040
  • WHAT ARE SOME THINGS YOU THINK
  • 00:26:41.040 --> 00:26:42.140
  • TEENAGERS AND PEOPLE IN THEIR
  • 00:26:42.140 --> 00:26:43.160
  • TWENTIES ARE REALLY STRUGGLING
  • 00:26:44.070 --> 00:26:47.070
  • WITH TODAY IN THE DATING WORLD?
  • 00:26:47.070 --> 00:26:47.290
  • - DATING HAS EVEN CHANGED FROM
  • 00:26:47.290 --> 00:26:49.130
  • WHEN WE DATED FIVE YEARS AGO.
  • 00:26:49.130 --> 00:26:51.040
  • - YEAH, 7 YEARS AGO.
  • 00:26:51.040 --> 00:26:52.060
  • - I HAVE NEVER BEEN ON TINDER.
  • 00:26:52.060 --> 00:26:54.040
  • - IT IS THE SOCIAL MEDIA
  • 00:26:54.040 --> 00:26:55.090
  • REVOLUTION HAS CHANGED THING
  • 00:26:55.090 --> 00:26:56.100
  • DRAMATICALLY.
  • 00:26:57.250 --> 00:27:00.270
  • IT IS NONVERBAL MARRIAGE EYE
  • 00:27:00.270 --> 00:27:01.240
  • CONTACT.
  • 00:27:01.240 --> 00:27:03.100
  • WHO IS GOING TO TALK?
  • 00:27:03.100 --> 00:27:04.260
  • I WOULD SAY, YEAH, I THINK THAT
  • 00:27:04.260 --> 00:27:07.140
  • IS PART OF IT, THE SOCIAL MEDIA
  • 00:27:07.140 --> 00:27:08.060
  • REVOLUTION.
  • 00:27:08.060 --> 00:27:10.200
  • WHAT THAT-- IF YOU KEEP DIGGING
  • 00:27:10.200 --> 00:27:12.090
  • DOWN FARTHER, WHETHER-- I
  • 00:27:12.090 --> 00:27:14.000
  • BELIEVE HER NAME IS SHERRY
  • 00:27:14.000 --> 00:27:15.150
  • TURKLE, "ALONE TOGETHER," HAS
  • 00:27:15.150 --> 00:27:17.090
  • DONE SOME AMAZING RESEARCH,
  • 00:27:17.090 --> 00:27:18.090
  • AMAZING BOOKS ON THE LACK OF
  • 00:27:18.090 --> 00:27:19.160
  • INTIMACY THAT ACTUAL TECHNOLOGY
  • 00:27:19.160 --> 00:27:20.150
  • AND INTERNET IS CAUSING,
  • 00:27:20.150 --> 00:27:21.070
  • RELATIONAL.
  • 00:27:21.070 --> 00:27:22.180
  • - SAY THAT AGAIN, I THINK THAT
  • 00:27:22.180 --> 00:27:23.120
  • IS SO IMPORTANT.
  • 00:27:23.120 --> 00:27:23.270
  • - TOTALLY.
  • 00:27:23.270 --> 00:27:26.060
  • IT IS BASICALLY WHAT I MEAN,
  • 00:27:26.060 --> 00:27:27.070
  • SOCIAL MEDIA, EVERYTHING HAS A
  • 00:27:27.070 --> 00:27:28.260
  • DARK SIDE.
  • 00:27:28.260 --> 00:27:30.020
  • SOCIAL MEDIA IS AMAZING,
  • 00:27:30.020 --> 00:27:31.160
  • INNOVATION AND TECHNOLOGY AND
  • 00:27:31.160 --> 00:27:32.100
  • SILICON VALLEY IS AMAZING.
  • 00:27:32.100 --> 00:27:34.200
  • THE DARK SIDE IS THE SHALLOWNESS
  • 00:27:34.200 --> 00:27:36.010
  • OF HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS IT IS
  • 00:27:36.140 --> 00:27:39.140
  • CREATING.
  • 00:27:39.140 --> 00:27:40.040
  • IT IS AMAZING FOR CONNECTING AND
  • 00:27:40.040 --> 00:27:40.260
  • COMMUNICATING.
  • 00:27:40.260 --> 00:27:42.090
  • IT IS NOT GOOD FOR BEING KNOWN.
  • 00:27:42.090 --> 00:27:43.010
  • IT IS NOT GOOD FOR INTIMACY.
  • 00:27:43.010 --> 00:27:44.050
  • THE HARD PART IS, THIS
  • 00:27:44.050 --> 00:27:46.140
  • GENERATION, US, MILLENNIALS
  • 00:27:46.140 --> 00:27:48.130
  • THAT, IS US IS IT YOU, THAT IS
  • 00:27:48.130 --> 00:27:50.050
  • EVERYONE UNDER 30 IS GOING TO
  • 00:27:50.050 --> 00:27:52.160
  • IT, NOT FOR COMMUNICATING, BUT
  • 00:27:52.160 --> 00:27:54.110
  • FOR INTIMACY AND BEING KNOWN.
  • 00:27:54.110 --> 00:27:55.230
  • ONCE YOU GO, THERE IT STARTS
  • 00:27:57.130 --> 00:28:00.150
  • SHORT CIRCUITING, IT STARTS
  • 00:28:00.150 --> 00:28:01.070
  • MISFIRING, THAT IS WHERE A LOT
  • 00:28:01.070 --> 00:28:02.160
  • OF DAMAGE IS BEING DONE.
  • 00:28:02.160 --> 00:28:03.120
  • AND YOU GET A LOT OF THESE
  • 00:28:03.120 --> 00:28:04.030
  • NONCOMMITTAL THINGS.
  • 00:28:04.030 --> 00:28:05.110
  • PEOPLE LIKE-- THE DATING CULTURE
  • 00:28:05.110 --> 00:28:06.210
  • NOW IS LIKE YOU NEVER WANT TO
  • 00:28:06.210 --> 00:28:08.170
  • EXPOSE YOURSELF TO
  • 00:28:08.170 --> 00:28:10.050
  • VULNERABILITIES, SO IT'S KIND OF
  • 00:28:10.050 --> 00:28:10.270
  • THE, "HEY, DO YOU WANT TO HANG
  • 00:28:10.270 --> 00:28:11.190
  • OUT?"
  • 00:28:11.190 --> 00:28:12.240
  • AND THAT IS SUPPOSEDLY CODE FOR,
  • 00:28:12.240 --> 00:28:13.210
  • DO YOU WANT TO GO ON A DATE WITH
  • 00:28:13.210 --> 00:28:14.140
  • ME?
  • 00:28:14.140 --> 00:28:16.020
  • I'D LIKE FOR YOU TO BE MY
  • 00:28:16.020 --> 00:28:16.210
  • GIRLFRIEND.
  • 00:28:16.210 --> 00:28:17.090
  • THAT IS THE CULTURE WE ARE IN.
  • 00:28:17.090 --> 00:28:20.050
  • I THINK WALKING THROUGH THAT AND
  • 00:28:20.050 --> 00:28:21.180
  • PARENTS TALKING TO THEIR KIDS,
  • 00:28:21.180 --> 00:28:23.040
  • AND EVEN YOUNG ADULTS AND YOUNG
  • 00:28:23.040 --> 00:28:23.280
  • PROFESSIONALS, THIS IS THE WORLD
  • 00:28:23.280 --> 00:28:24.230
  • WE ARE LIVING IN NOW.
  • 00:28:24.230 --> 00:28:25.200
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:28:25.200 --> 00:28:27.000
  • AND I FEEL LIKE PEOPLE JUST
  • 00:28:27.000 --> 00:28:28.270
  • DON'T KNOW QUITE HOW TO HAVE
  • 00:28:28.270 --> 00:28:30.100
  • GOOD RELATIONSHIPS ANYMORE.
  • 00:28:30.100 --> 00:28:31.090
  • BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO
  • 00:28:31.090 --> 00:28:32.020
  • BE VULNERABLE.
  • 00:28:32.020 --> 00:28:33.080
  • THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO LOOK
  • 00:28:33.080 --> 00:28:34.130
  • PEOPLE IN THE EYE BECAUSE THEY
  • 00:28:34.130 --> 00:28:35.090
  • ARE ALWAYS ON THEIR PHONE.
  • 00:28:35.090 --> 00:28:37.080
  • AND WHEN YOU PUT IT IN A
  • 00:28:37.080 --> 00:28:38.020
  • RELATIONSHIP, IT'S HOW DO WE DO
  • 00:28:38.020 --> 00:28:38.240
  • THIS?
  • 00:28:38.240 --> 00:28:40.010
  • - EVEN YOU MENTIONED PHONE.
  • 00:28:40.010 --> 00:28:41.060
  • I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS IN HIGH
  • 00:28:41.060 --> 00:28:42.140
  • SCHOOL, A PHONE WAS USED TO CALL
  • 00:28:42.140 --> 00:28:43.200
  • PEOPLE.
  • 00:28:43.200 --> 00:28:44.170
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:28:44.170 --> 00:28:45.140
  • - ISN'T THAT A FUNNY SENTENCE?
  • 00:28:45.140 --> 00:28:46.110
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:28:46.110 --> 00:28:47.040
  • I MEAN, IF YOU CALL AND LEAVE A
  • 00:28:47.040 --> 00:28:47.260
  • VOICE MAIL-- DON'T CALL ME.
  • 00:28:47.260 --> 00:28:49.160
  • - IF YOU COMPARE TALKING TO
  • 00:28:49.160 --> 00:28:52.070
  • SOMEONE ON THE PHONE OR TEXTING
  • 00:28:52.070 --> 00:28:55.010
  • SOMEONE, CLEARLY, THE PHONE IS
  • 00:28:55.010 --> 00:28:56.090
  • WAY MORE INTIMATE AND PERSONAL.
  • 00:28:56.090 --> 00:28:57.260
  • - YOU GET THE--
  • 00:28:57.260 --> 00:28:58.260
  • - INTONATIONS.
  • 00:28:58.260 --> 00:29:01.200
  • - AND SITTING DOWN AND VISITING
  • 00:29:01.200 --> 00:29:03.140
  • WITH SOMEONE OR GOING ON A WALK
  • 00:29:03.140 --> 00:29:05.040
  • WITH SOMEONE.
  • 00:29:05.040 --> 00:29:06.270
  • EVEN THOSE THINGS THAT HAPPENED
  • 00:29:06.270 --> 00:29:08.150
  • WHEN THEY DO HAPPEN, I FEEL
  • 00:29:08.150 --> 00:29:09.260
  • CONSTANTLY INTERRUPTED BY THE
  • 00:29:09.260 --> 00:29:11.060
  • PHONE.
  • 00:29:11.060 --> 00:29:13.020
  • SO YOU COULD HAVE MEANINGFUL
  • 00:29:13.020 --> 00:29:14.050
  • CONVERSATION AND YOU SAY WAIT A
  • 00:29:14.050 --> 00:29:15.170
  • SECOND AND ARE TEXTING SOMEONE.
  • 00:29:15.170 --> 00:29:17.100
  • I NOTICED THE OTHER NIGHT WHEN I
  • 00:29:17.100 --> 00:29:19.080
  • WAS OUT TO DINNER WITH MY WIFE,
  • 00:29:19.080 --> 00:29:20.190
  • SHE GOT UP TO GO TO THE
  • 00:29:20.190 --> 00:29:21.100
  • BATHROOM.
  • 00:29:21.100 --> 00:29:22.220
  • AND I WAS SITTING AT THE TABLE
  • 00:29:22.220 --> 00:29:23.130
  • ALONE.
  • 00:29:23.130 --> 00:29:24.100
  • WHAT IS THE FIRST THING I DID?
  • 00:29:24.100 --> 00:29:25.020
  • I GRABBED MY PHONE.
  • 00:29:25.020 --> 00:29:26.030
  • IT WAS TOTALLY COMPULSIVE.
  • 00:29:26.030 --> 00:29:27.230
  • I DIDN'T NEED-- NOBODY TEXTED ME
  • 00:29:27.230 --> 00:29:28.270
  • OR ANYTHING.
  • 00:29:28.270 --> 00:29:31.020
  • IT WAS LIKE INSTAGRAM.
  • 00:29:31.020 --> 00:29:32.250
  • MAYBE EMAIL, MAYBE SHE IS STILL
  • 00:29:32.250 --> 00:29:34.080
  • TAKING AWHILE, MAYBE GOOGLE,
  • 00:29:34.080 --> 00:29:36.040
  • TEXT SOMEBODY.
  • 00:29:36.040 --> 00:29:38.000
  • - THERE WAS ANOTHER BOOK I WAS
  • 00:29:38.000 --> 00:29:39.280
  • READING THAT REMINDED ME OF.
  • 00:29:39.280 --> 00:29:41.260
  • MORE RESEARCH-BASED JOURNALIST
  • 00:29:41.260 --> 00:29:43.010
  • WAS WRITING, I THINK HE WAS
  • 00:29:43.010 --> 00:29:44.170
  • TALKING ABOUT HOW WE HAVE TO
  • 00:29:44.170 --> 00:29:46.100
  • REALIZE THE GRAVITY OF THE FACT
  • 00:29:46.100 --> 00:29:48.210
  • THAT THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN
  • 00:29:48.210 --> 00:29:50.060
  • HUMAN HISTORY WHERE THE LITTLE
  • 00:29:50.060 --> 00:29:51.220
  • MICRO MOMENTS THROUGHOUT THE
  • 00:29:51.220 --> 00:29:54.070
  • DAY, WHETHER IT IS YOUR WALK--
  • 00:29:54.070 --> 00:29:55.230
  • BACK IN THE DAY YOUR WALK TO GET
  • 00:29:55.230 --> 00:29:57.090
  • WATER OR STANDING IN LINE IN THE
  • 00:29:57.090 --> 00:29:59.200
  • GROCERIES, THIS IS A FIRST TIME
  • 00:29:59.200 --> 00:30:00.290
  • IN HUMAN HISTORY WHERE THOSE
  • 00:30:00.290 --> 00:30:02.160
  • LITTLE MOMENTS DON'T EXIST
  • 00:30:02.160 --> 00:30:03.050
  • ANYMORE.
  • 00:30:03.050 --> 00:30:03.240
  • THEY LITERALLY-- JUST THE
  • 00:30:03.240 --> 00:30:04.140
  • NOTHINGNESS.
  • 00:30:04.140 --> 00:30:05.150
  • THEY DON'T EXIST.
  • 00:30:05.150 --> 00:30:06.290
  • THAT IS IMPACTING US AND THE
  • 00:30:06.290 --> 00:30:08.010
  • BOOK TALKS ABOUT IT IN TERMS OF
  • 00:30:08.010 --> 00:30:09.150
  • RELATIONSHIPS, CREATIVITY, THAT
  • 00:30:09.150 --> 00:30:11.120
  • IS WHERE A LOT OF CREATIVITY
  • 00:30:11.120 --> 00:30:12.020
  • HAPPENS.
  • 00:30:12.020 --> 00:30:13.240
  • AND THAT IS ONE CHALLENGE I
  • 00:30:13.240 --> 00:30:15.120
  • WOULD SAY TO ANYONE OUT THERE.
  • 00:30:15.120 --> 00:30:16.090
  • I WAS NOT THINKING OF THIS UNTIL
  • 00:30:16.090 --> 00:30:17.140
  • YOU JUST MENTIONED IT, BUT IF
  • 00:30:17.140 --> 00:30:18.130
  • YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP,
  • 00:30:18.130 --> 00:30:19.250
  • MARRIED 30 YEARS, MAYBE YOU ARE
  • 00:30:19.250 --> 00:30:21.290
  • MARRIED ONE YEAR, MAYBE YOU ARE
  • 00:30:21.290 --> 00:30:23.030
  • MARRIED-- MAYBE YOU ARE ENGAGED
  • 00:30:23.030 --> 00:30:23.280
  • OR DATING, MAKE HARD FAST RULES
  • 00:30:23.280 --> 00:30:25.100
  • ABOUT THE PHONE.
  • 00:30:25.100 --> 00:30:28.080
  • MAKE THEM AND PUT THEM DOWN ON
  • 00:30:28.080 --> 00:30:28.290
  • PAPER.
  • 00:30:28.290 --> 00:30:30.180
  • WE HAVE THIS THING WE TALK
  • 00:30:30.180 --> 00:30:32.150
  • ABOUT, OUR TECHNOLOGY MANIFESTO.
  • 00:30:32.150 --> 00:30:34.160
  • IT IS LIKE YOU HAVE TO HAVE
  • 00:30:34.160 --> 00:30:36.150
  • BELIEFS AND SYSTEMS ABOUT HOW
  • 00:30:36.150 --> 00:30:37.230
  • YOU ARE GOING TO CURB THIS.
  • 00:30:37.230 --> 00:30:39.220
  • THOSE COMPANIES IN SILICON
  • 00:30:39.220 --> 00:30:41.200
  • VALLEY, THEY WANT TO BE IN YOUR
  • 00:30:41.200 --> 00:30:42.120
  • BEDROOM.
  • 00:30:42.120 --> 00:30:43.040
  • THEY WANT TO DISTURB YOUR
  • 00:30:43.040 --> 00:30:44.080
  • RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE THEY MAKE
  • 00:30:44.080 --> 00:30:45.030
  • MONEY.
  • 00:30:45.030 --> 00:30:46.010
  • WE ALWAYS SAY, OURS IS, MY PHONE
  • 00:30:46.010 --> 00:30:47.130
  • DOES NOT COME IN THE BEDROOM.
  • 00:30:47.130 --> 00:30:48.070
  • THAT IS A HARD RULE.
  • 00:30:48.070 --> 00:30:49.110
  • IT GOES IN A CABINET.
  • 00:30:49.110 --> 00:30:51.210
  • - YOU DON'T BRING YOUR CELL
  • 00:30:51.210 --> 00:30:53.090
  • PHONE IN YOUR BEDROOM?
  • 00:30:53.090 --> 00:30:53.270
  • - I DO.
  • 00:30:53.270 --> 00:30:54.160
  • - WE ARE DIFFERENT, SHE IS NOT
  • 00:30:54.160 --> 00:30:55.100
  • AS ADDICTED AS I AM.
  • 00:30:55.100 --> 00:30:58.080
  • SETTING THE TONES FOR DIFFERENT
  • 00:30:58.080 --> 00:31:00.040
  • PERSONALITIES.
  • 00:31:00.040 --> 00:31:02.030
  • FOR ME, IT'S MORE MY JOB.
  • 00:31:02.030 --> 00:31:03.060
  • I GOT TO RESPOND TO PEOPLE.
  • 00:31:03.060 --> 00:31:04.160
  • I GOT TO DO E-MAILS, THERE IS A
  • 00:31:04.160 --> 00:31:05.150
  • RULE.
  • 00:31:05.150 --> 00:31:06.150
  • IT DOES NOT COME IN THE BEDROOM.
  • 00:31:06.150 --> 00:31:07.290
  • I LITERALLY AT NIGHT IT GETS
  • 00:31:07.290 --> 00:31:09.130
  • TURNED OFF AND GETS PUT IN A
  • 00:31:09.130 --> 00:31:10.090
  • CABINET IN MY OFFICE.
  • 00:31:10.090 --> 00:31:11.240
  • THAT IS SO LIKE 70 YEAR OLD
  • 00:31:11.240 --> 00:31:12.140
  • STATUS.
  • 00:31:12.140 --> 00:31:13.220
  • I'M 28 AND I DO THAT.
  • 00:31:13.220 --> 00:31:15.080
  • YOU HAVE DO THINGS LIKE THAT.
  • 00:31:15.080 --> 00:31:16.200
  • IT DOES NOT GET BROUGHT OUT ON
  • 00:31:16.200 --> 00:31:17.260
  • TABLES OR MEALS.
  • 00:31:17.260 --> 00:31:19.010
  • - WE PUT IT AWAY FOR DINNER.
  • 00:31:19.010 --> 00:31:20.060
  • - DATE NIGHT IT GETS PUT AWAY.
  • 00:31:20.060 --> 00:31:21.070
  • YOU HAVE TO MAKE CERTAIN THINGS
  • 00:31:21.070 --> 00:31:22.110
  • OR IT WILL START CONSUMING YOU.
  • 00:31:22.110 --> 00:31:24.110
  • - BECAUSE IT IS AFFECTING
  • 00:31:24.110 --> 00:31:25.030
  • MARRIAGES, TOO, NOT BEING ABLE
  • 00:31:25.030 --> 00:31:26.220
  • TO HAVE INTIMATE CONNECTIONS OR
  • 00:31:26.220 --> 00:31:28.100
  • CONVERSATIONS, SO HAVING THOSE
  • 00:31:28.100 --> 00:31:29.100
  • RULES IN YOUR MARRIAGE ARE
  • 00:31:29.100 --> 00:31:30.060
  • REALLY IMPORTANT.
  • 00:31:30.060 --> 00:31:31.220
  • - BECAUSE IF YOU SAY YES TO
  • 00:31:31.220 --> 00:31:32.230
  • SOMETHING, YOU ARE SAYING NO TO
  • 00:31:32.230 --> 00:31:33.220
  • SOMETHING ELSE.
  • 00:31:33.220 --> 00:31:34.280
  • A LOT OF TIMES WHAT WE SAY YES
  • 00:31:34.280 --> 00:31:35.280
  • TO IS THE SHALLOW
  • 00:31:35.280 --> 00:31:37.090
  • MICRO RELATIONSHIPS ON THE
  • 00:31:37.090 --> 00:31:38.080
  • PHONE, WHAT YOU DON'T REALIZE
  • 00:31:38.080 --> 00:31:39.150
  • YOU ARE SAYING NO TO IS THE
  • 00:31:39.150 --> 00:31:40.050
  • PERSON SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO
  • 00:31:40.050 --> 00:31:40.250
  • YOU.
  • 00:31:40.250 --> 00:31:42.010
  • - SO, I THINK ADDICTION IS AN
  • 00:31:42.010 --> 00:31:42.250
  • ALL TIME HIGH.
  • 00:31:42.250 --> 00:31:43.230
  • - TOTALLY.
  • 00:31:43.230 --> 00:31:44.160
  • - CAN YOU ADDRESS THIS ISSUE?
  • 00:31:44.160 --> 00:31:45.270
  • NOT ONLY ALCOHOL, BUT ESPECIALLY
  • 00:31:45.270 --> 00:31:46.200
  • PORNOGRAPHY.
  • 00:31:46.200 --> 00:31:48.210
  • OTHER THINGS LIKE THAT THAT WE
  • 00:31:48.210 --> 00:31:51.090
  • STUDIED IT IN PSYCHOLOGY ARE
  • 00:31:51.090 --> 00:31:52.240
  • 100% LINKED WITH INTIMACY WITH
  • 00:31:52.240 --> 00:31:54.200
  • OTHER PEOPLE.
  • 00:31:54.200 --> 00:31:55.180
  • - YES.
  • 00:31:55.180 --> 00:31:56.230
  • - WHEN YOU HAVE MEANINGFUL
  • 00:31:56.230 --> 00:31:58.060
  • FRIENDSHIPS, YOU ARE CONNECTING
  • 00:31:58.060 --> 00:32:00.140
  • DEEPLY IN YOUR MARRIAGE OR WITH
  • 00:32:00.140 --> 00:32:02.160
  • YOUR FAMILY, THE URGE FOR THOSE
  • 00:32:02.250 --> 00:32:05.250
  • TYPES OF THINGS GOES AWAY.
  • 00:32:05.250 --> 00:32:07.120
  • THERE IS A QUOTE YOU SAID IN
  • 00:32:07.120 --> 00:32:08.280
  • YOUR BOOK.
  • 00:32:08.280 --> 00:32:10.180
  • I CAN'T REMEMBER WHICH ONE OF
  • 00:32:10.180 --> 00:32:11.140
  • YOU SAID IT.
  • 00:32:11.140 --> 00:32:13.000
  • THE GREAT THING ABOUT THE BOOK,
  • 00:32:13.000 --> 00:32:13.270
  • IT GOES BACK AND FORTH.
  • 00:32:13.270 --> 00:32:14.230
  • JEFF, ALYSSA, JEFF, ALYSSA.
  • 00:32:14.230 --> 00:32:16.020
  • YOU HAVE BANDS.
  • 00:32:16.020 --> 00:32:17.030
  • I STILL DON'T KNOW WHY THE
  • 00:32:17.030 --> 00:32:18.020
  • BANDS-- LIKE BLACK EYED PEAS IS
  • 00:32:18.020 --> 00:32:19.140
  • THE FIRST ONE.
  • 00:32:19.140 --> 00:32:21.010
  • - SO EVERY CHAPTER IS A SONG
  • 00:32:21.010 --> 00:32:21.240
  • TITLE.
  • 00:32:21.240 --> 00:32:22.260
  • LIKE A LOVE SONG TITLE AND THEN
  • 00:32:22.260 --> 00:32:23.180
  • THE BAND.
  • 00:32:23.180 --> 00:32:24.260
  • - I DIDN'T GET IT WAS THE SONG
  • 00:32:24.260 --> 00:32:25.230
  • TITLE OF THE BAND.
  • 00:32:25.230 --> 00:32:26.260
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:32:26.260 --> 00:32:27.130
  • - GOT IT.
  • 00:32:27.130 --> 00:32:28.120
  • - YOU HAVE DO THAT FOR
  • 00:32:28.120 --> 00:32:29.020
  • COPYRIGHT PURPOSES.
  • 00:32:29.020 --> 00:32:30.090
  • BUT BASICALLY, WE NAMED EACH
  • 00:32:30.090 --> 00:32:31.060
  • CHAPTER AFTER A POPULAR
  • 00:32:31.060 --> 00:32:31.270
  • MILLENNIAL SONG.
  • 00:32:31.270 --> 00:32:33.080
  • - IT WAS GREAT.
  • 00:32:33.080 --> 00:32:34.160
  • YOU WERE SO CREATIVE.
  • 00:32:34.160 --> 00:32:35.030
  • - THANK YOU.
  • 00:32:35.030 --> 00:32:37.070
  • - THIS IS AT CORE OF ADDICTION.
  • 00:32:37.070 --> 00:32:38.050
  • THAT IS WHAT PEOPLE DON'T
  • 00:32:38.050 --> 00:32:39.090
  • UNDERSTAND IS THAT NOT ONLY IS--
  • 00:32:39.090 --> 00:32:41.150
  • IT IS A CYCLE.
  • 00:32:41.150 --> 00:32:44.100
  • SO, PORNOGRAPHY IS PROBABLY ONE
  • 00:32:44.100 --> 00:32:45.220
  • OF THE BIGGEST.
  • 00:32:45.220 --> 00:32:47.120
  • YOU TALK ABOUT THIS A LOT.
  • 00:32:49.200 --> 00:32:52.200
  • THE QUOTE I MENTIONED IN THE
  • 00:32:52.200 --> 00:32:54.060
  • BOOK, IS SOMETHING LIKE EVERY
  • 00:32:54.060 --> 00:32:55.150
  • TIME A MAN KNOCKS ON A BROTHEL
  • 00:32:55.150 --> 00:32:56.280
  • HE IS LOOKING FOR GOD.
  • 00:32:56.280 --> 00:32:58.030
  • - I LOVE THAT QUOTE.
  • 00:32:58.260 --> 00:33:01.280
  • - AT THE END OF THE DIZ-AY, AT
  • 00:33:01.280 --> 00:33:03.100
  • THE END OF THE DAY - THIS IS
  • 00:33:03.100 --> 00:33:04.050
  • WHAT I SOMETIMES THINK OF THE
  • 00:33:04.050 --> 00:33:04.280
  • RELIGIOUS CULTURE.
  • 00:33:04.280 --> 00:33:05.280
  • - THE SPOKEN WORD CAME THROUGH.
  • 00:33:05.280 --> 00:33:06.250
  • YOU SAID AT THE END OF THE
  • 00:33:06.250 --> 00:33:07.170
  • DIZ-AY.
  • 00:33:07.170 --> 00:33:08.190
  • - I KNOW, RIGHT?
  • 00:33:08.190 --> 00:33:10.210
  • AT THE END OF THE DAY, WHAT WE
  • 00:33:10.210 --> 00:33:12.250
  • NEED TO RECOGNIZE, THIS IS
  • 00:33:12.250 --> 00:33:14.060
  • SOMETHING RELIGIOUS CULTURE GETS
  • 00:33:14.060 --> 00:33:15.210
  • WRONG SOMETIME, IS DESIRES IN
  • 00:33:15.270 --> 00:33:18.270
  • THEIR FUNDAMENTAL NATURE ARE
  • 00:33:18.270 --> 00:33:20.010
  • FROM THE LORD.
  • 00:33:20.010 --> 00:33:21.110
  • THEY ARE FROM EDEN, THEY HAVE
  • 00:33:21.110 --> 00:33:23.040
  • BEEN DISTORTED AND WARPED AND
  • 00:33:23.040 --> 00:33:25.010
  • HURT AND BROKEN AND SHATTERED,
  • 00:33:25.010 --> 00:33:27.090
  • BUT YOUR DESIRE FOR INTIMACY
  • 00:33:27.090 --> 00:33:29.210
  • THAT PLAYS OUT IN SEXUAL ONENESS
  • 00:33:29.210 --> 00:33:30.230
  • IS FROM THE LORD.
  • 00:33:30.230 --> 00:33:32.230
  • YOU CAN DISTORT THAT AND TAKE IT
  • 00:33:32.230 --> 00:33:33.150
  • THE WRONG WAY.
  • 00:33:33.150 --> 00:33:35.030
  • YOUR DESIRE FOR FOOD, THESE
  • 00:33:35.030 --> 00:33:36.180
  • THINGS GOD WANTS US TO ENJOY HIS
  • 00:33:36.180 --> 00:33:37.210
  • BEAUTIFUL WORLD.
  • 00:33:37.210 --> 00:33:40.020
  • THAT IS WHAT THAT IS GETTING AT.
  • 00:33:40.020 --> 00:33:41.200
  • LIKE, MAN, WHEN YOU ARE GOING
  • 00:33:41.200 --> 00:33:43.270
  • AND LOOKING AT IT IN THESE
  • 00:33:43.270 --> 00:33:45.170
  • PLACES YOU ARE LOOKING FOR THE
  • 00:33:45.170 --> 00:33:46.100
  • LORD BUT YOU ARE LOOKING IN ALL
  • 00:33:46.100 --> 00:33:47.020
  • THE WRONG PLACES.
  • 00:33:47.020 --> 00:33:48.140
  • SO, YEAH, I THINK PORNOGRAPHY
  • 00:33:48.140 --> 00:33:49.130
  • AND INTIMACY IS A HUGE, HUGE
  • 00:33:49.130 --> 00:33:50.050
  • TOPIC.
  • 00:33:50.050 --> 00:33:51.190
  • BECAUSE YOU ARE TRYING TO HAVE
  • 00:33:51.190 --> 00:33:53.060
  • WHAT IT CAN'T DELIVER.
  • 00:33:53.060 --> 00:33:54.270
  • WHAT PEOPLE ARE DYING FOR IN
  • 00:33:54.270 --> 00:33:57.250
  • THOSE MOMENTS OF PORN ADDICTION
  • 00:33:57.280 --> 00:34:01.000
  • OR OTHER THINGS, WHETHER IT IS
  • 00:34:01.000 --> 00:34:02.280
  • IN REAL LIFE WITH PROSTITUTES OR
  • 00:34:02.280 --> 00:34:03.280
  • SOMETHING OF THIS NATURE, OR
  • 00:34:03.280 --> 00:34:05.240
  • EVEN JUST MORE CASUAL SEX IN
  • 00:34:05.240 --> 00:34:07.050
  • COLLEGE AND HOOK-UPS, AND ALL
  • 00:34:07.050 --> 00:34:08.220
  • THESE THINGS, YOU ARE LOOKING
  • 00:34:08.220 --> 00:34:10.020
  • FOR THAT INTIMACY, YOU ARE
  • 00:34:10.020 --> 00:34:11.160
  • LOOKING TO BE KNOWN.
  • 00:34:11.160 --> 00:34:12.110
  • YOU ARE LOOKING FOR THAT OTHER
  • 00:34:12.110 --> 00:34:13.100
  • PERSON TO SAY I KNOW YOU, I LOVE
  • 00:34:13.100 --> 00:34:14.170
  • YOU, I WANT YOU.
  • 00:34:14.170 --> 00:34:16.250
  • BUT SPECIFICALLY WITH PORN THE
  • 00:34:16.250 --> 00:34:18.060
  • REASON IT IS SO DAMAGING, IT
  • 00:34:18.060 --> 00:34:19.160
  • CAN'T ACTUALLY DELIVER ON THAT.
  • 00:34:19.160 --> 00:34:21.070
  • BECAUSE YOU NEED THIS COVENANT
  • 00:34:21.070 --> 00:34:22.160
  • OF MARRIAGE TO HAVE THAT
  • 00:34:22.160 --> 00:34:24.070
  • BEAUTIFUL POWER THAT CAN SUSTAIN
  • 00:34:24.070 --> 00:34:26.220
  • THE FIRE OF SEX AND PORN CAN'T--
  • 00:34:26.220 --> 00:34:28.280
  • THERE IS NO ONE THERE.
  • 00:34:28.280 --> 00:34:30.150
  • IT IS A COMPUTER SCREEN SO YOU
  • 00:34:30.150 --> 00:34:31.070
  • CAN'T HAVE THAT.
  • 00:34:31.070 --> 00:34:32.250
  • - I THINK THE OTHER GOOD POINT
  • 00:34:32.250 --> 00:34:34.020
  • YOU MAKE IN THE BOOK, IT IS INTO
  • 00:34:34.020 --> 00:34:35.110
  • THE JUST ABOUT CONNECTING WITH
  • 00:34:35.110 --> 00:34:36.210
  • GOD, IT IS ABOUT THAT PERSONAL
  • 00:34:36.210 --> 00:34:37.120
  • CONNECTION, TOO.
  • 00:34:37.120 --> 00:34:38.180
  • AS CHRISTIANS, WE WOULD SAY,
  • 00:34:38.180 --> 00:34:40.280
  • THAT THE NUMBER ONE DOCTRINE
  • 00:34:40.280 --> 00:34:43.260
  • SAYS THE WAY WE CONNECT WITH GOD
  • 00:34:43.260 --> 00:34:44.220
  • IS THROUGH PEOPLE.
  • 00:34:44.220 --> 00:34:45.290
  • IT'S CALLED THE INCARNATIONAL
  • 00:34:45.290 --> 00:34:47.000
  • THEOLOGY.
  • 00:34:47.000 --> 00:34:48.220
  • SO THAT IS WHY THE CHURCH IS SO
  • 00:34:48.220 --> 00:34:50.140
  • IMPORTANT BECAUSE THE CHURCH,
  • 00:34:50.140 --> 00:34:51.150
  • NOT THE CHURCH SERVICE, BUT A
  • 00:34:51.150 --> 00:34:53.060
  • COMMUNITY OF PEOPLE DOING LIFE
  • 00:34:53.060 --> 00:34:55.210
  • TOGETHER IN THE FULLNESS OF THE
  • 00:34:55.210 --> 00:34:56.130
  • KINGDOM OF GOD.
  • 00:34:56.130 --> 00:34:58.270
  • ONE OF THE THINGS WE LEARN,
  • 00:34:59.040 --> 00:35:02.060
  • THERE IS THIS ADDICTION CYCLE.
  • 00:35:02.060 --> 00:35:02.270
  • YOU LEARN IT IN COUNSELING.
  • 00:35:02.270 --> 00:35:05.100
  • IT STARTS WITH EMPTINESS IS AN
  • 00:35:05.100 --> 00:35:07.160
  • EMOTIONAL TRIGGER.
  • 00:35:07.160 --> 00:35:09.240
  • THAT CAUSES YOU TO GET CLOSE TO
  • 00:35:11.110 --> 00:35:14.110
  • THE EDGE.
  • 00:35:14.110 --> 00:35:16.140
  • WHAT IS THE WORD?
  • 00:35:16.140 --> 00:35:17.020
  • I CAN'T REMEMBER.
  • 00:35:17.020 --> 00:35:19.280
  • LIKE WHEN YOU ARE AN ALCOHOLIC
  • 00:35:19.280 --> 00:35:21.170
  • YOU DRIVE DOWN THE ROAD NEAR
  • 00:35:21.170 --> 00:35:23.050
  • YOUR FAVORITE BAR JUST TO LOOK
  • 00:35:23.050 --> 00:35:23.260
  • AT IT.
  • 00:35:23.260 --> 00:35:25.050
  • YOUR BUDDIES SAY, "COME ON IN
  • 00:35:25.210 --> 00:35:28.210
  • AND CHECK IT OUT,: OH, RITUAL.
  • 00:35:28.210 --> 00:35:30.180
  • YOU FALL INTO THAT RITUAL.
  • 00:35:30.180 --> 00:35:32.120
  • PEOPLE WILL SAY COME ON, AND YOU
  • 00:35:32.120 --> 00:35:33.160
  • SAY I'LL JUST GO IN AND SAY HI.
  • 00:35:33.160 --> 00:35:34.260
  • AND THEY SAY HAVE A DRINK.
  • 00:35:34.260 --> 00:35:36.110
  • AND THEY SAY, HAVE ONE ON US, SO
  • 00:35:36.110 --> 00:35:37.260
  • YOU GET DRUNK, SO THAT IS USING
  • 00:35:37.260 --> 00:35:39.070
  • AND USING CREATES SHAME.
  • 00:35:39.070 --> 00:35:41.130
  • AND SHAME BECOMES A TRIGGER.
  • 00:35:41.130 --> 00:35:43.050
  • IT GOES OVER AND OVER, IN TERMS
  • 00:35:43.050 --> 00:35:45.100
  • OF LIKE PORNOGRAPHY OR ANY
  • 00:35:45.100 --> 00:35:48.000
  • ADDICTION, THE WAY YOU BREAK
  • 00:35:48.000 --> 00:35:50.140
  • THAT FREE IS DEEPLY CONNECTING
  • 00:35:50.140 --> 00:35:51.200
  • WITH PEOPLE AND BEING VULNERABLE
  • 00:35:51.200 --> 00:35:52.160
  • ABOUT YOUR ADDICTION.
  • 00:35:53.080 --> 00:35:56.080
  • IN OTHER WORDS, YOU CANNOT BREAK
  • 00:35:56.080 --> 00:35:57.140
  • ADDICTION ALONE.
  • 00:35:57.140 --> 00:35:59.120
  • YOU NEED MEANINGFUL
  • 00:35:59.120 --> 00:36:00.110
  • RELATIONSHIP.
  • 00:36:00.110 --> 00:36:01.290
  • THAT IS IMPORTANT, ISN'T IT,
  • 00:36:01.290 --> 00:36:03.000
  • ALYSSA?
  • 00:36:03.000 --> 00:36:03.170
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:36:03.170 --> 00:36:04.240
  • - A REALLY IMPORTANT PART OF
  • 00:36:04.240 --> 00:36:06.030
  • MANY OF THESE ISSUES.
  • 00:36:06.030 --> 00:36:06.200
  • - TOTALLY.
  • 00:36:06.270 --> 00:36:09.270
  • ESPECIALLY PORN, I DON'T KNOW
  • 00:36:09.270 --> 00:36:10.280
  • WHY I'M SOMETIMES SURPRISED, BUT
  • 00:36:10.280 --> 00:36:12.260
  • LITERALLY EVERYONE IS STRUGGLING
  • 00:36:12.260 --> 00:36:13.190
  • WITH IT.
  • 00:36:13.190 --> 00:36:14.240
  • IT IS ALL OVER.
  • 00:36:14.240 --> 00:36:16.180
  • AND IN MARRIAGES TOO.
  • 00:36:16.180 --> 00:36:19.040
  • AND HAVING THOSE CONVERSATIONS
  • 00:36:19.040 --> 00:36:20.150
  • AND ASKING THE REALLY HARD
  • 00:36:20.150 --> 00:36:21.270
  • QUESTIONS, SOMETIMES, TOO, MEN
  • 00:36:21.270 --> 00:36:24.020
  • CAN THINK THEY ARE NOT ADDICTED
  • 00:36:24.020 --> 00:36:25.150
  • TO IT BECAUSE MAYBE IT IS ONCE A
  • 00:36:25.150 --> 00:36:26.130
  • MONTH OR TWICE EVERY 3 MONTHS.
  • 00:36:26.130 --> 00:36:27.220
  • - YEAH, LIKE THEY HAVE IT UNDER
  • 00:36:27.220 --> 00:36:28.160
  • CONTROL.
  • 00:36:28.160 --> 00:36:29.050
  • - THEY HAVE IT UNDER CONTROL SO
  • 00:36:29.050 --> 00:36:30.120
  • THEY DON'T NEED TO SHARE IT WITH
  • 00:36:30.120 --> 00:36:31.050
  • THEIR WIFE.
  • 00:36:31.050 --> 00:36:32.210
  • IF IT IS JUST ONE TIME YOU NEED
  • 00:36:32.210 --> 00:36:34.130
  • TO SHARE IT WITH YOUR WIFE AND
  • 00:36:34.130 --> 00:36:35.230
  • WORK THROUGH THIS AND HEAL.
  • 00:36:35.230 --> 00:36:37.110
  • BECAUSE IT IS NOT GOD'S BEST.
  • 00:36:37.110 --> 00:36:38.280
  • IT IS NOT WHAT GOD WANTS FOR YOU
  • 00:36:38.280 --> 00:36:40.230
  • AS A HUSBAND, AS A MAN, AS YOUR
  • 00:36:41.280 --> 00:36:44.280
  • MARRIAGE, SO WORKING THROUGH
  • 00:36:44.280 --> 00:36:45.190
  • THAT TOGETHER.
  • 00:36:46.030 --> 00:36:49.030
  • - IF YOU ARE HAVING A THRIVING
  • 00:36:49.030 --> 00:36:51.230
  • MARRIAGE AND IF YOU ARE HAVING
  • 00:36:51.230 --> 00:36:53.280
  • DEEP GOOD FRIENDSHIPS AND YOU
  • 00:36:53.280 --> 00:36:55.150
  • HAVE A DEEP RELATIONSHIP WITH
  • 00:36:55.150 --> 00:36:57.140
  • GOD, THE URGES FOR ANY ADDICTION
  • 00:36:57.140 --> 00:36:58.100
  • WHETHER IT IS PORNOGRAPHY OR
  • 00:36:58.100 --> 00:37:01.070
  • DRUGS OR ANYTHING, IT GOES DOWN,
  • 00:37:01.070 --> 00:37:02.090
  • BECAUSE YOU ARE FINDING
  • 00:37:02.090 --> 00:37:03.180
  • FULFILLMENT IN YOUR LIFE.
  • 00:37:03.180 --> 00:37:04.220
  • - TOTALLY.
  • 00:37:04.220 --> 00:37:06.150
  • - TALK ABOUT THE ISSUE OF-- I
  • 00:37:06.250 --> 00:37:09.250
  • THINK THIS IS ALSO IMPORTANT,
  • 00:37:09.250 --> 00:37:10.250
  • THIS ISSUE OF CASUAL SEX.
  • 00:37:10.250 --> 00:37:12.250
  • IT IS AT AN ALL TIME HIGH AS
  • 00:37:12.250 --> 00:37:14.210
  • WELL.
  • 00:37:14.210 --> 00:37:15.290
  • COLLEGES AND STUFF.
  • 00:37:15.290 --> 00:37:17.280
  • PEOPLE SLEEPING TOGETHER.
  • 00:37:17.280 --> 00:37:19.240
  • AND A LOT OF CHRISTIANS NOW, I
  • 00:37:19.270 --> 00:37:22.270
  • KNOW HARDCORE, THEY SEEM LIKE
  • 00:37:22.270 --> 00:37:24.150
  • HARDCORE CHRISTIANS THAT SEEM TO
  • 00:37:24.150 --> 00:37:27.080
  • BE FINE WITH SLEEPING WITH YOUR
  • 00:37:27.080 --> 00:37:29.040
  • BOYFRIEND, SLEEPING WITH YOUR
  • 00:37:29.040 --> 00:37:30.210
  • GIRLFRIEND, OR IT IS LIKE, I
  • 00:37:30.210 --> 00:37:31.240
  • JUST MESSED UP.
  • 00:37:31.240 --> 00:37:33.070
  • I'M NOT GOING TO DO IT AGAIN.
  • 00:37:33.070 --> 00:37:34.170
  • TALK ABOUT THAT A LITTLE BIT,
  • 00:37:34.170 --> 00:37:35.080
  • TOO.
  • 00:37:35.080 --> 00:37:36.210
  • BECAUSE I THINK YOU HAD SOME
  • 00:37:36.210 --> 00:37:37.200
  • GOOD POINTS.
  • 00:37:37.200 --> 00:37:38.040
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:37:38.040 --> 00:37:40.210
  • LIKE I MENTIONED BEFORE, IT
  • 00:37:40.210 --> 00:37:42.250
  • REALLY IS AN IDEA I FEEL LIKE IN
  • 00:37:42.250 --> 00:37:44.290
  • OUR CULTURE, OUR BODIES ARE
  • 00:37:44.290 --> 00:37:46.270
  • SEPARATE FROM OUR SOULS, FROM
  • 00:37:46.270 --> 00:37:47.250
  • OUR EMOTIONS, IT DOES NOT AFFECT
  • 00:37:47.250 --> 00:37:48.240
  • US.
  • 00:37:48.240 --> 00:37:49.160
  • THE CULTURE GIVES US THIS LIE
  • 00:37:49.160 --> 00:37:50.290
  • THAT IT IS ALL PHYSICAL.
  • 00:37:50.290 --> 00:37:52.010
  • AND IT IS JUST THIS PHYSICAL
  • 00:37:52.010 --> 00:37:54.080
  • URGE WE HAVE TO GET OUT AND IT
  • 00:37:54.080 --> 00:37:56.170
  • IS A TOTAL LIE.
  • 00:37:56.170 --> 00:37:58.280
  • IT IS LIKE CRAP.
  • 00:37:58.280 --> 00:38:00.270
  • BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS CONNECTED.
  • 00:38:00.270 --> 00:38:02.050
  • WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR BODY
  • 00:38:02.050 --> 00:38:03.000
  • AFFECTS YOUR MIND, AFFECTS YOUR
  • 00:38:03.000 --> 00:38:04.000
  • HEART.
  • 00:38:04.010 --> 00:38:07.010
  • THERE REALLY IS A DISCONNECT.
  • 00:38:07.010 --> 00:38:09.020
  • AND IT IS HURTING A LOT OF
  • 00:38:09.020 --> 00:38:10.070
  • PEOPLE AND THEY ARE NOT
  • 00:38:10.070 --> 00:38:10.250
  • REALIZING IT.
  • 00:38:10.250 --> 00:38:11.150
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:38:11.150 --> 00:38:13.130
  • PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT WHAT HAPPENS
  • 00:38:13.130 --> 00:38:14.100
  • IN YOUR BODY DOES NOT AFFECT
  • 00:38:14.100 --> 00:38:15.000
  • YOUR SPIRIT.
  • 00:38:15.000 --> 00:38:15.230
  • - RIGHT.
  • 00:38:15.230 --> 00:38:18.170
  • - SO YOU HAVE MYTHS ABOUT
  • 00:38:18.170 --> 00:38:19.180
  • SEXUALITY AND PORNOGRAPHY, TELL
  • 00:38:19.180 --> 00:38:21.060
  • ME ABOUT SOME MYTHS ABOUT
  • 00:38:21.060 --> 00:38:21.250
  • DATING.
  • 00:38:21.250 --> 00:38:24.050
  • - I THINK ONE WE TALK ABOUT IN
  • 00:38:24.050 --> 00:38:26.100
  • THE BOOK THAT GOES DATING AND
  • 00:38:26.100 --> 00:38:27.290
  • MARRIAGE, OR AFFECTS BOTH IN A
  • 00:38:27.290 --> 00:38:29.080
  • DIFFERENT WAY, IS BELIEVING
  • 00:38:29.080 --> 00:38:31.030
  • THERE IS ONE PERSON OUT THERE
  • 00:38:31.030 --> 00:38:31.240
  • FOR YOU.
  • 00:38:31.240 --> 00:38:32.220
  • WHAT DO WE MEAN BY THAT?
  • 00:38:32.220 --> 00:38:33.280
  • A LOT OF TIMES BECAUSE YOUR
  • 00:38:33.280 --> 00:38:34.260
  • SOULMATE OR THERE IS--
  • 00:38:34.260 --> 00:38:36.130
  • - YOU DON'T THINK THERE IS A
  • 00:38:36.130 --> 00:38:37.060
  • SOULMATE?
  • 00:38:37.060 --> 00:38:37.170
  • - NO.
  • 00:38:37.170 --> 00:38:37.280
  • NOT AT ALL.
  • 00:38:37.280 --> 00:38:39.070
  • HERE IS WHY.
  • 00:38:39.070 --> 00:38:40.170
  • IT IS NOT IN SCRIPTURE.
  • 00:38:40.170 --> 00:38:41.260
  • YOU CANNOT FIND ONE SCRIPTURE
  • 00:38:41.260 --> 00:38:43.040
  • THAT SAYS LIKE GOD HAS THAT WIFE
  • 00:38:43.040 --> 00:38:44.120
  • RIGHT THERE FOR YOU.
  • 00:38:44.120 --> 00:38:46.050
  • - THAT PERSON WATCHING TONIGHT
  • 00:38:46.050 --> 00:38:48.040
  • AND THEY ARE LIKE, I MISSED OUT
  • 00:38:48.040 --> 00:38:49.230
  • ON MY SOULMATE TWENTY YEARS AGO.
  • 00:38:49.230 --> 00:38:50.150
  • AND I'M STUCK IN THIS.
  • 00:38:50.150 --> 00:38:51.080
  • - HERE IS WHY.
  • 00:38:51.080 --> 00:38:53.020
  • THAT IS WHY IT IS SO DAMAGING.
  • 00:38:53.020 --> 00:38:54.010
  • THAT IS ONE OF THE REASONS, IT
  • 00:38:54.010 --> 00:38:55.220
  • PUTS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE ON
  • 00:38:55.220 --> 00:38:56.130
  • IT.
  • 00:38:56.130 --> 00:38:58.050
  • LOGICALLY SPEAKING, IF THERE WAS
  • 00:38:58.050 --> 00:39:00.080
  • ONE PERSON FOR EVERYONE OUT
  • 00:39:00.080 --> 00:39:02.040
  • THERE, IF JOE SCHMO 2.000 YEARS
  • 00:39:02.040 --> 00:39:03.070
  • AGO MARRIED THE WRONG ONE, THAT
  • 00:39:03.070 --> 00:39:04.090
  • IS A DOMINO EFFECT THAT WOULD
  • 00:39:04.090 --> 00:39:05.150
  • HAVE AFFECTED ALL OF US AND NO
  • 00:39:05.150 --> 00:39:06.260
  • ONE CAN MARRY THEIR ONE BECAUSE
  • 00:39:06.260 --> 00:39:08.040
  • HE DIDN'T.
  • 00:39:08.040 --> 00:39:08.290
  • SO LOGICALLY IT DOES NOT MAKE
  • 00:39:08.290 --> 00:39:09.270
  • SENSE.
  • 00:39:09.270 --> 00:39:11.140
  • ALSO, IT PUTS TOO MUCH PRESSURE
  • 00:39:11.140 --> 00:39:12.090
  • ON IT.
  • 00:39:12.090 --> 00:39:14.080
  • AND WHAT HAPPENS, A LOT OF US
  • 00:39:14.080 --> 00:39:15.150
  • DON'T REALIZE, IT IS LESS ABOUT
  • 00:39:15.150 --> 00:39:17.020
  • TRYING TO FIND THE ONE AND IT'S
  • 00:39:17.020 --> 00:39:18.170
  • MORE ABOUT BEING THE ONE.
  • 00:39:18.170 --> 00:39:21.160
  • A LOT OF US PUT TOO MUCH
  • 00:39:21.160 --> 00:39:23.020
  • PRESSURE ON, I WANT TO FIND THE
  • 00:39:23.020 --> 00:39:24.190
  • PERSON THAT WILL MAKE MY LIFE
  • 00:39:24.190 --> 00:39:25.100
  • EASIER, THAT WON'T CALL OUT MY
  • 00:39:25.100 --> 00:39:26.090
  • SIN, THAT WON'T--
  • 00:39:26.090 --> 00:39:27.000
  • - THEY WILL COMPLETE ME.
  • 00:39:27.000 --> 00:39:28.050
  • - THEY WILL COMPLETE ME RATHER
  • 00:39:28.050 --> 00:39:29.040
  • THAN, NO, MARRIAGE ACTUALLY DOES
  • 00:39:29.040 --> 00:39:30.010
  • THE OPPOSITE WHERE THEY CALL YOU
  • 00:39:30.010 --> 00:39:31.000
  • OUT.
  • 00:39:31.000 --> 00:39:31.160
  • THEY EXPOSE YOU.
  • 00:39:31.160 --> 00:39:32.230
  • YOU REALIZE, OH, THERE IS MY
  • 00:39:32.230 --> 00:39:33.270
  • STUFF I NEED TO DEAL WITH.
  • 00:39:33.270 --> 00:39:35.160
  • AND ON TOP OF THE WAY IT AFFECTS
  • 00:39:35.160 --> 00:39:37.000
  • MARRIAGE, BECAUSE-- BY THE WAY,
  • 00:39:37.000 --> 00:39:38.220
  • THE REASON I KNOW ALYSSA --
  • 00:39:38.220 --> 00:39:40.140
  • ALYSSA IS THE ONE, I THINK.
  • 00:39:40.140 --> 00:39:41.140
  • THE REASON I KNOW IS BECAUSE I
  • 00:39:41.140 --> 00:39:42.240
  • SIGNED A PIECE OF PAPER THAT
  • 00:39:42.240 --> 00:39:43.170
  • SAID I MARRIED HER.
  • 00:39:43.170 --> 00:39:44.140
  • THAT IS THE DIFFERENCE.
  • 00:39:44.140 --> 00:39:45.110
  • - YOU KNOW IT IS THE ONE WHEN
  • 00:39:45.110 --> 00:39:46.100
  • YOU SAY I DO.
  • 00:39:46.100 --> 00:39:47.280
  • - THERE IS NO MYTHICAL MYSTIC
  • 00:39:47.280 --> 00:39:49.130
  • ONE.
  • 00:39:49.130 --> 00:39:51.010
  • BUT I DO BELIEVE GOD CALLS YOU
  • 00:39:51.010 --> 00:39:52.200
  • TO ONE PERSON FOR THE REST OF
  • 00:39:52.200 --> 00:39:53.140
  • YOUR LIFE.
  • 00:39:53.140 --> 00:39:55.210
  • AND THAT IS A-- IT IS MORE ABOUT
  • 00:39:55.210 --> 00:39:56.220
  • THE COMMITMENT THAN THE MYSTICAL
  • 00:39:56.220 --> 00:39:57.170
  • PART.
  • 00:39:57.170 --> 00:39:58.270
  • AND WHEN YOU GET MARRIED, THE
  • 00:39:58.270 --> 00:40:00.090
  • LIE YOU CAN BELIEVE IF YOU
  • 00:40:00.090 --> 00:40:01.030
  • BELIEVE THERE IS ONE OUT THERE
  • 00:40:01.030 --> 00:40:02.060
  • IN THE MYSTICAL WAY STILL, I
  • 00:40:02.060 --> 00:40:03.180
  • HEAR THAT A LOT OF TIMES FOR
  • 00:40:03.180 --> 00:40:04.190
  • JUSTIFICATION FOR DIVORCE,
  • 00:40:04.190 --> 00:40:05.100
  • RIGHT?
  • 00:40:05.100 --> 00:40:06.230
  • YOU GET TEN YEARS DOWN THE ROAD
  • 00:40:06.230 --> 00:40:07.230
  • AND GO, WELL, THEY JUST WEREN'T
  • 00:40:07.230 --> 00:40:08.270
  • THE ONE FOR ME.
  • 00:40:08.270 --> 00:40:09.160
  • SO I CAN WRITE OFF EVERYTHING.
  • 00:40:09.160 --> 00:40:11.220
  • - OR YOUR MARRIAGE GETS HARD,
  • 00:40:11.220 --> 00:40:12.230
  • IT GETS UNHEALTHY.
  • 00:40:12.230 --> 00:40:14.040
  • YOU ARE LIKE THIS IS NOT GOD'S
  • 00:40:14.040 --> 00:40:15.170
  • PLAN, I MUST HAVE A PLAN B.
  • 00:40:15.170 --> 00:40:16.220
  • SOMEWHERE.
  • 00:40:16.220 --> 00:40:17.270
  • - WE ARE TALKING WITH JEFFERSON
  • 00:40:17.270 --> 00:40:19.090
  • AND ALYSSA BETHKE.
  • 00:40:19.090 --> 00:40:21.110
  • AND THIS BOOK "LOVE THAT LASTS."
  • 00:40:21.110 --> 00:40:22.170
  • IT IS AN AWESOME BOOK.
  • 00:40:22.170 --> 00:40:24.280
  • WE HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT
  • 00:40:24.280 --> 00:40:26.180
  • DATING, SOME OF THOSE MYTHS.
  • 00:40:26.180 --> 00:40:27.200
  • PRETTY SOON I THINK WE SHOULD
  • 00:40:27.200 --> 00:40:28.180
  • TALK ABOUT MARRIAGE.
  • 00:40:28.180 --> 00:40:30.040
  • SOME OF THESE MYTHS THAT ARE
  • 00:40:30.040 --> 00:40:31.260
  • HARMING OUR MARRIAGE LIFE AND
  • 00:40:31.260 --> 00:40:34.160
  • WHAT WE CAN DO TO BRING FIXES TO
  • 00:40:34.160 --> 00:40:36.080
  • OUR MARRIAGES SO THEY ARE
  • 00:40:36.080 --> 00:40:37.200
  • LIFE-GIVING, GODLY, ORIENTED IN
  • 00:40:37.200 --> 00:40:38.280
  • THE WORD OF GOD, AND YOU GUYS
  • 00:40:38.280 --> 00:40:40.160
  • HAVE AMAZING THINGS TO SAY ABOUT
  • 00:40:40.160 --> 00:40:42.200
  • THIS AND THINGS I'M GOING TO
  • 00:40:42.200 --> 00:40:43.190
  • APPLY TO MY OWN MARRIAGE.
  • 00:40:43.190 --> 00:40:44.150
  • AND WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT
  • 00:40:44.150 --> 00:40:45.060
  • THAT, COMING UP RIGHT AFTER
  • 00:40:45.060 --> 00:40:45.270
  • THIS.
  • 00:40:45.270 --> 00:40:48.120
  • (FIRE BURNING SOUND)
  • 00:40:49.110 --> 00:40:52.110
  • (VOCALIZING)
  • 00:41:04.020 --> 00:41:07.020
  • - YOU MIGHT SAY I DON'T BELIEVE
  • 00:41:07.020 --> 00:41:08.270
  • IN GOD, BUT THE BIBLE SAYS, NOT
  • 00:41:08.270 --> 00:41:10.110
  • POSSIBLE.
  • 00:41:11.170 --> 00:41:14.170
  • EVERYONE HAS A GOD, WHETHER OR
  • 00:41:14.170 --> 00:41:16.010
  • NOT IT IS THE GOD OF THE GOSPEL.
  • 00:41:16.010 --> 00:41:17.060
  • YOU MIGHT NOT BELIEVE IN GOD,
  • 00:41:17.060 --> 00:41:18.190
  • BUT EVERYONE HAS THAT ONE THING
  • 00:41:18.190 --> 00:41:19.120
  • THAT'S KING.
  • 00:41:19.120 --> 00:41:20.170
  • EVEN THE DICTIONARY DEFINES GOD
  • 00:41:20.170 --> 00:41:22.170
  • AS WHATEVER WE MAKE SUPREME.
  • 00:41:22.170 --> 00:41:23.190
  • IT IS A THEME, IT IS A THREAD.
  • 00:41:23.190 --> 00:41:25.150
  • YOU SEE IT INSIDE ALL HUMAN
  • 00:41:25.150 --> 00:41:27.010
  • BEINGS, THE FACT THAT WE ALL
  • 00:41:27.010 --> 00:41:27.270
  • WORSHIP.
  • 00:41:27.270 --> 00:41:29.080
  • NO, IT IS NOT JUST ABOUT
  • 00:41:29.080 --> 00:41:30.050
  • SINGING.
  • 00:41:30.050 --> 00:41:31.150
  • I KNOW YOU'RE LIKE, JEFF, I
  • 00:41:31.150 --> 00:41:33.250
  • DON'T WORSHIP, I PUT THAT ON THE
  • 00:41:33.250 --> 00:41:34.280
  • SHELF, BUT I SAY TECHNICALLY WE
  • 00:41:34.280 --> 00:41:36.060
  • ALL WORSHIP.
  • 00:41:36.060 --> 00:41:37.200
  • WE JUST WORSHIP OURSELVES.
  • 00:41:37.200 --> 00:41:39.280
  • SEE, WE ALL WORSHIP SOMETHING.
  • 00:41:39.280 --> 00:41:41.260
  • TO AN OBJECT WE ARE ALL LIABLE.
  • 00:41:41.260 --> 00:41:44.080
  • LADIES, TO SOME YOUR BOYFRIEND
  • 00:41:44.080 --> 00:41:45.290
  • IS YOUR GOD AND COSMO IS YOUR
  • 00:41:45.290 --> 00:41:46.220
  • BIBLE.
  • 00:41:46.220 --> 00:41:48.190
  • YET, WE MOCK AND WE LAUGH AT THE
  • 00:41:48.190 --> 00:41:50.160
  • ISRAELITES GOLDEN CALF.
  • 00:41:50.160 --> 00:41:51.270
  • WE DO THE SAME THING RIGHT BACK,
  • 00:41:51.270 --> 00:41:53.250
  • IT JUST LOOKS A LITTLE DIFFERENT
  • 00:41:53.250 --> 00:41:54.180
  • THAN THAT.
  • 00:41:54.180 --> 00:41:56.080
  • SO QUESTION, WHAT IS ON YOUR
  • 00:41:56.080 --> 00:41:57.050
  • THRONE?
  • 00:41:57.050 --> 00:41:59.270
  • SEE, WHAT ARE YOU CHASING YOU
  • 00:41:59.270 --> 00:42:01.000
  • DON'T FEEL ALONE?
  • 00:42:01.000 --> 00:42:02.190
  • WHAT DEFINES YOU?
  • 00:42:02.190 --> 00:42:04.050
  • WHAT DO YOU GIVE ULTIMATE WORTH
  • 00:42:04.050 --> 00:42:06.150
  • AND WHAT IF TAKEN WOULD BRING
  • 00:42:06.150 --> 00:42:07.130
  • ULTIMATE HURT?
  • 00:42:07.130 --> 00:42:09.120
  • NOW SEE, THAT IS YOUR GOD.
  • 00:42:10.120 --> 00:42:13.120
  • AND ALL OF US WE SACRIFICED DEEP
  • 00:42:13.120 --> 00:42:15.130
  • JOY FOR SHALLOW HAPPINESS.
  • 00:42:15.130 --> 00:42:16.260
  • TO BE HONEST, WE LOOK LIKE
  • 00:42:16.260 --> 00:42:18.060
  • FOOLS, WE ARE LIKE FULL GROWN
  • 00:42:18.060 --> 00:42:19.190
  • ADULTS IN THE KIDDIE POOL GOING
  • 00:42:19.190 --> 00:42:20.280
  • OH, MY GOODNESS, GUYS, THIS IS
  • 00:42:20.280 --> 00:42:22.030
  • LIKE SO COOL.
  • 00:42:22.030 --> 00:42:24.140
  • BECAUSE WE ARE SLAVES TO OUR
  • 00:42:24.140 --> 00:42:25.040
  • POSSESSIONS.
  • 00:42:25.040 --> 00:42:27.030
  • WE ARE CRAVING SOMETHING NEW,
  • 00:42:27.030 --> 00:42:28.160
  • REALITY CHECK, IF YOU CAN'T GIVE
  • 00:42:28.160 --> 00:42:29.230
  • IT UP, YOU DON'T OWN IT.
  • 00:42:29.230 --> 00:42:30.150
  • IT OWNS YOU.
  • 00:42:30.150 --> 00:42:33.020
  • AND THAT IS WHY THE BIBLE, IT
  • 00:42:33.020 --> 00:42:35.100
  • SAYS WE ARE SPIRITUAL
  • 00:42:35.100 --> 00:42:38.020
  • PROSTITUTES, IT EVEN SAYS WE ARE
  • 00:42:38.020 --> 00:42:39.160
  • WORSE.
  • 00:42:39.160 --> 00:42:41.110
  • BECAUSE AT LEAST PROSTITUTES GET
  • 00:42:41.110 --> 00:42:43.090
  • PAID FOR THEIR WORKS, ALL WE GET
  • 00:42:43.090 --> 00:42:44.100
  • PAID IS OUR HURTS, THAT IS WHY
  • 00:42:44.100 --> 00:42:46.080
  • WORSHIP IT'S NOT JUST BEHAVIOR,
  • 00:42:46.080 --> 00:42:47.210
  • IT GOES WAY INTO OUR CORE.
  • 00:42:47.210 --> 00:42:49.110
  • SO ASK, WHAT IS YOUR GOD?
  • 00:42:49.110 --> 00:42:52.080
  • WHAT DO YOU BOW DOWN BEFORE?
  • 00:42:52.080 --> 00:42:55.050
  • FOR EXAMPLE, SOME OF US, WE
  • 00:42:55.050 --> 00:42:56.100
  • DON'T WORSHIP GOD, BUT WE
  • 00:42:56.100 --> 00:42:58.200
  • WORSHIP WHAT HE SAID.
  • 00:42:58.200 --> 00:43:00.100
  • WE GOT THEOLOGY IN OUR HEAD BUT
  • 00:43:00.100 --> 00:43:01.220
  • IN OUR HEARTS POOR, PITIFUL,
  • 00:43:01.220 --> 00:43:03.110
  • NAKED AND DEAD.
  • 00:43:03.110 --> 00:43:04.290
  • OR, SOME OF US WORSHIP IN
  • 00:43:04.290 --> 00:43:05.220
  • STADIUMS WHILE SOME OF US
  • 00:43:05.220 --> 00:43:06.260
  • WORSHIP IN BARS.
  • 00:43:06.260 --> 00:43:08.010
  • SOME OF US WORSHIP OUR
  • 00:43:08.010 --> 00:43:10.010
  • POSSESSIONS WHILE SOME OF US
  • 00:43:10.010 --> 00:43:11.050
  • WORSHIP OUR CARS.
  • 00:43:11.050 --> 00:43:12.150
  • SOME OF US WORSHIP SCIENCE WHILE
  • 00:43:12.150 --> 00:43:13.200
  • SOME OF US WORSHIP THE ARTS.
  • 00:43:13.200 --> 00:43:15.170
  • I DON'T CARE WHAT CLOTHES YOUR
  • 00:43:15.170 --> 00:43:16.200
  • IDOL IS WEARING, THE DISEASE IS
  • 00:43:16.200 --> 00:43:17.280
  • THE HEART.
  • 00:43:17.280 --> 00:43:20.040
  • OR MY FAVORITE IS THOSE GUYS WHO
  • 00:43:20.040 --> 00:43:21.260
  • SAY, JEFF, I'M A MAN BECAUSE I'M
  • 00:43:21.260 --> 00:43:23.200
  • IN CONTROL.
  • 00:43:23.200 --> 00:43:24.180
  • OKAY, THEN, TELL ME WHY CAN'T
  • 00:43:24.180 --> 00:43:26.000
  • YOU STOP HAVING SEX WITH YOUR
  • 00:43:26.000 --> 00:43:27.060
  • HAND WHILE SAVING YOUR MAC BOOK
  • 00:43:27.060 --> 00:43:28.290
  • PRO?
  • 00:43:28.290 --> 00:43:30.240
  • OR WHAT ABOUT THOSE GUYS WHO
  • 00:43:30.240 --> 00:43:32.130
  • TRADE THEIR WIVES FOR THEIR JOBS
  • 00:43:32.130 --> 00:43:33.050
  • AT WORK, GIVE MORE TIME TO THEIR
  • 00:43:33.050 --> 00:43:35.040
  • BOSS THAN THEIR ACTUAL WIVES
  • 00:43:35.040 --> 00:43:36.140
  • NEEDS OR HURTS?
  • 00:43:36.140 --> 00:43:38.190
  • AND LADIES, NO GUY CAN LOVE YOU
  • 00:43:38.190 --> 00:43:40.160
  • MORE THAN JESUS ALREADY HAS.
  • 00:43:40.160 --> 00:43:41.200
  • STOP PUTTING YOUR WORTH IN MAGIC
  • 00:43:41.200 --> 00:43:43.050
  • MIKE.
  • 00:43:43.050 --> 00:43:43.250
  • HE IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT.
  • 00:43:45.070 --> 00:43:48.070
  • - WELL, IT HAS BEEN SUCH A
  • 00:43:48.070 --> 00:43:49.040
  • GREAT INTERVIEW.
  • 00:43:49.040 --> 00:43:50.180
  • I HAVE BEEN TALKING WITH
  • 00:43:50.180 --> 00:43:51.220
  • JEFFERSON AND ALYSSA BETHKE.
  • 00:43:51.220 --> 00:43:52.250
  • I'M BOBBY SCHULLER FROM HOUR OF
  • 00:43:52.250 --> 00:43:54.040
  • POWER HERE ON TBN EVERY SATURDAY
  • 00:43:54.040 --> 00:43:55.180
  • NIGHT.
  • 00:43:55.180 --> 00:43:57.180
  • IT'S SUCH A JOY TO TALK TO YOU
  • 00:43:57.180 --> 00:43:58.160
  • GUYS.
  • 00:43:58.160 --> 00:43:59.060
  • I FEEL LIKE I'M GETTING ALL OF
  • 00:43:59.060 --> 00:44:00.200
  • THESE TIDBITS EVEN JUST HOW TO
  • 00:44:00.200 --> 00:44:02.100
  • TEACH PASTORALLY TO PEOPLE WHO
  • 00:44:02.100 --> 00:44:04.070
  • ARE DATING, BUT EVEN APPLY SOME
  • 00:44:04.070 --> 00:44:05.050
  • THINGS TO MY OWN MARRIAGE.
  • 00:44:05.050 --> 00:44:06.120
  • I WAS READING THIS BOOK THIS
  • 00:44:06.120 --> 00:44:07.220
  • MORNING, LOVE THAT LASTS, IT IS
  • 00:44:07.220 --> 00:44:09.080
  • SUPER GOOD.
  • 00:44:09.080 --> 00:44:10.080
  • VERY FUN, YOU GUYS WROTE IT
  • 00:44:10.080 --> 00:44:11.230
  • TOGETHER AND-- HOW WAS THAT, BY
  • 00:44:11.230 --> 00:44:13.270
  • THE WAY, WRITING THE BOOK
  • 00:44:13.270 --> 00:44:14.160
  • TOGETHER?
  • 00:44:14.160 --> 00:44:16.140
  • IS THIS THE FIRST BOOK YOU'VE
  • 00:44:16.140 --> 00:44:17.160
  • DONE AS A COUPLE?
  • 00:44:17.160 --> 00:44:19.190
  • - KIND OF SECOND, I GUESS.
  • 00:44:19.190 --> 00:44:21.100
  • - WE HAVE DONE FUN PROJECTS,
  • 00:44:21.100 --> 00:44:22.230
  • BUT THIS IS THE FIRST FULL BOOK
  • 00:44:22.230 --> 00:44:23.150
  • WE HAVE DONE TOGETHER.
  • 00:44:23.150 --> 00:44:24.060
  • IT WAS FUN.
  • 00:44:24.060 --> 00:44:26.200
  • WE DID NOT READ EACH OTHER'S
  • 00:44:26.200 --> 00:44:27.100
  • SECTIONS.
  • 00:44:27.100 --> 00:44:28.120
  • WE JUST FOUND THAT OUT A COUPLE
  • 00:44:28.120 --> 00:44:29.060
  • WEEKS AGO.
  • 00:44:29.060 --> 00:44:30.080
  • WE WERE LAUGHING, I DIDN'T READ
  • 00:44:30.080 --> 00:44:31.000
  • YOUR PART.
  • 00:44:31.000 --> 00:44:32.020
  • - OH, YOU WROTE ABOUT THAT?
  • 00:44:32.020 --> 00:44:32.240
  • - THE FUNNY PART IS, WE TALK
  • 00:44:32.240 --> 00:44:34.050
  • ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME AT DINNER.
  • 00:44:34.050 --> 00:44:35.280
  • BUT IT WAS FUN.
  • 00:44:35.280 --> 00:44:37.220
  • - SO ONE OF THE THINGS THAT I
  • 00:44:37.220 --> 00:44:40.150
  • THINK IS SO IMPORTANT WHEN WE
  • 00:44:40.150 --> 00:44:42.100
  • TALK ABOUT MARRIAGE IS THIS
  • 00:44:42.100 --> 00:44:43.040
  • ISSUE OF VULNERABILITY.
  • 00:44:43.040 --> 00:44:45.060
  • READING THIS BOOK IS A GREAT
  • 00:44:45.060 --> 00:44:46.120
  • QUOTE IT SAYS, WE ARE TERRIFIED
  • 00:44:46.120 --> 00:44:48.120
  • OF BEING KNOWN NOT REALIZING
  • 00:44:48.120 --> 00:44:50.040
  • THAT IS EXACTLY WHERE THE JOY IS
  • 00:44:50.040 --> 00:44:52.190
  • HIDING.
  • 00:44:52.190 --> 00:44:54.110
  • TALK ABOUT THAT A LITTLE BIT IN
  • 00:44:54.110 --> 00:44:55.170
  • A MARRIAGE, THAT VULNERABILITY
  • 00:44:55.170 --> 00:44:57.250
  • AND THIS NEED TO FEEL THERE ARE
  • 00:44:57.250 --> 00:45:00.180
  • SOME THINGS ABOUT YOUR LIFE YOU
  • 00:45:00.180 --> 00:45:01.110
  • HAVE TO HIDE.
  • 00:45:01.110 --> 00:45:02.030
  • HOW IMPORTANT IS THAT IN
  • 00:45:02.030 --> 00:45:02.230
  • MARRIAGE TO BE VULNERABLE?
  • 00:45:02.230 --> 00:45:04.140
  • - YEAH, WELL, I FEEL LIKE BEING
  • 00:45:04.140 --> 00:45:06.140
  • VULNERABLE IN MARRIAGE IS THE
  • 00:45:06.140 --> 00:45:08.250
  • KEY, THAT IS WHAT BUILDS TRUST.
  • 00:45:08.250 --> 00:45:11.210
  • I KNOW SOMETIMES IN OUR MARRIAGE
  • 00:45:11.210 --> 00:45:13.160
  • WHERE JEFF MAY BE STRUGGLING
  • 00:45:13.160 --> 00:45:15.100
  • WITH SOMETHING OR HE LOOKED AT
  • 00:45:15.100 --> 00:45:16.240
  • SOMETHING THE NIGHT BEFORE AND
  • 00:45:16.240 --> 00:45:19.040
  • IF HE COMES TO ME RIGHT AFTER OR
  • 00:45:19.040 --> 00:45:20.090
  • THE NEXT MORNING AND HE TELLS
  • 00:45:20.090 --> 00:45:21.280
  • ME, IT IS LIKE THIS BEAUTIFUL--
  • 00:45:21.280 --> 00:45:23.150
  • I FEEL SO SECURE.
  • 00:45:23.150 --> 00:45:25.000
  • OKAY, HE TRUSTS ME.
  • 00:45:25.000 --> 00:45:26.260
  • WE ARE DOING THIS TOGETHER.
  • 00:45:26.260 --> 00:45:28.120
  • HE IS DEALING IN THE LIGHT.
  • 00:45:28.120 --> 00:45:29.190
  • I ALWAYS THINK OF THAT VERSE,
  • 00:45:29.190 --> 00:45:31.000
  • DEALING IN THE LIGHT.
  • 00:45:31.000 --> 00:45:33.130
  • - ONE VERSE WE TALK ABOUT IN
  • 00:45:33.130 --> 00:45:34.200
  • THE MARRIAGE, I THINK IT IS SONG
  • 00:45:34.200 --> 00:45:35.280
  • OF SOLOMON, LITTLE FOXES THAT
  • 00:45:35.280 --> 00:45:36.270
  • EAT THE VINEYARD.
  • 00:45:36.270 --> 00:45:38.060
  • WE SAY WE ARE GOING TO BRING THE
  • 00:45:38.060 --> 00:45:39.030
  • LITTLE FOXES TO THE CONVERSATION
  • 00:45:39.030 --> 00:45:40.110
  • FIRST AND ASK FOR FORGIVENESS
  • 00:45:40.110 --> 00:45:41.190
  • FOR THOSE BEFORE OF VINEYARD IS
  • 00:45:41.260 --> 00:45:44.260
  • DESTROYED.
  • 00:45:44.260 --> 00:45:46.050
  • WHAT HAPPENS IS THE BIG ONES
  • 00:45:46.050 --> 00:45:47.100
  • DON'T EVER COME BECAUSE OF THAT.
  • 00:45:47.100 --> 00:45:48.170
  • WHEN YOU GO IN THE LIGHT WITH
  • 00:45:48.170 --> 00:45:49.100
  • THE LITTLE ONES, IT KIND OF
  • 00:45:49.100 --> 00:45:50.040
  • DISSIPATES.
  • 00:45:50.040 --> 00:45:51.150
  • - OR EVEN ME SOMETIMES, I WILL
  • 00:45:51.150 --> 00:45:52.180
  • JUST THROUGHOUT THE DAY I WILL
  • 00:45:52.180 --> 00:45:54.270
  • REALIZE I'M BELIEVING THIS LIE,
  • 00:45:54.270 --> 00:45:56.010
  • OR I'M FEARFUL OF SOMETHING OR
  • 00:45:56.010 --> 00:45:56.220
  • ANXIOUS.
  • 00:45:56.220 --> 00:45:57.070
  • I'M GOING TO THE LORD, AND IF I
  • 00:45:57.070 --> 00:45:58.160
  • GO TO HIM AND SAY, HEY, BABE,
  • 00:45:58.160 --> 00:45:59.200
  • THIS IS WHAT I'M THINKING.
  • 00:45:59.200 --> 00:46:00.200
  • CAN YOU PRAY FOR ME?
  • 00:46:00.200 --> 00:46:02.030
  • HE WILL SPEAK TRUTH TO IT AND I
  • 00:46:02.030 --> 00:46:04.050
  • WILL IMMEDIATELY COME OUT OF IT.
  • 00:46:04.050 --> 00:46:07.040
  • SO YOUR HUSBAND AND YOU, YOU ARE
  • 00:46:07.040 --> 00:46:08.140
  • TOGETHER FOR A REASON, YOU ARE
  • 00:46:08.140 --> 00:46:09.070
  • BETTER TOGETHER THAN APART.
  • 00:46:09.070 --> 00:46:11.000
  • YOU ARE A TEAM.
  • 00:46:11.000 --> 00:46:11.200
  • SO GOD WANTS YOU TO BE
  • 00:46:11.200 --> 00:46:12.070
  • VULNERABLE.
  • 00:46:12.070 --> 00:46:15.070
  • SO THAT STRONG STRAND YOU CANNOT
  • 00:46:15.070 --> 00:46:16.100
  • BREAK.
  • 00:46:17.100 --> 00:46:20.100
  • - ONE THING I WILL ADD TO THAT,
  • 00:46:20.100 --> 00:46:21.040
  • THE POWER OF MARRIAGE, MEANING
  • 00:46:21.040 --> 00:46:23.090
  • THE WAY GOD GAVE IT TO BE THIS
  • 00:46:23.090 --> 00:46:24.120
  • RECONCILING AGENT IN THE WORLD
  • 00:46:24.120 --> 00:46:25.030
  • IS THE VULNERABILITY.
  • 00:46:25.030 --> 00:46:26.140
  • WHAT I MEAN BY THAT, GOD MADE
  • 00:46:26.140 --> 00:46:28.210
  • MARRIAGE A COVENANT.
  • 00:46:28.210 --> 00:46:30.240
  • A COVENANT IS DIFFERENT THAN
  • 00:46:30.240 --> 00:46:31.140
  • CONTRACT.
  • 00:46:31.140 --> 00:46:32.190
  • A QUICK WAY TO SUMMARIZE THAT,
  • 00:46:32.190 --> 00:46:33.260
  • CONTRACT IS ANY RELATIONSHIP YOU
  • 00:46:33.260 --> 00:46:34.290
  • HAVE WHERE THE BEHAVIOR IS
  • 00:46:34.290 --> 00:46:35.260
  • STRONGER THAN THE PROMISE.
  • 00:46:35.260 --> 00:46:36.150
  • RIGHT?
  • 00:46:36.150 --> 00:46:37.120
  • I PROMISE-- A JOB IS A CONTRACT.
  • 00:46:37.120 --> 00:46:38.290
  • I PROMISE TO GIVE YOU A JOB.
  • 00:46:38.290 --> 00:46:40.100
  • IF YOU MESS UP BAD ENOUGH, YOUR
  • 00:46:40.100 --> 00:46:42.220
  • BEHAVIOR, YOU WILL GET FIRED.
  • 00:46:42.220 --> 00:46:44.050
  • A COVENANT IS FLIPPED.
  • 00:46:44.050 --> 00:46:46.080
  • COVENANT IS NOT ABOUT THE
  • 00:46:46.080 --> 00:46:47.220
  • BEHAVIOR, THE STRONGEST PART
  • 00:46:47.220 --> 00:46:49.110
  • ABOUT COVENANT IS THE PROMISE.
  • 00:46:49.110 --> 00:46:50.130
  • SO THAT MEANS NO MATTER WHAT
  • 00:46:50.130 --> 00:46:52.020
  • BEHAVIOR HAPPENS, THE PROMISE IS
  • 00:46:52.020 --> 00:46:53.210
  • GOING TO KEEP THAT RELATIONSHIP
  • 00:46:53.210 --> 00:46:54.270
  • TOGETHER.
  • 00:46:54.270 --> 00:46:56.110
  • AND GOD MADE MARRIAGE THAT, NOT
  • 00:46:56.110 --> 00:46:57.160
  • A CONTRACT.
  • 00:46:57.160 --> 00:46:58.090
  • AND WHAT IS POWERFUL ABOUT THAT,
  • 00:46:58.090 --> 00:47:00.220
  • THEN WHEN YOU ARE IN A COVENANT,
  • 00:47:00.220 --> 00:47:02.220
  • WHEN YOU KNOW THE PROMISE IS
  • 00:47:02.220 --> 00:47:04.130
  • STRONGER THAN ANY BEHAVIOR THAT
  • 00:47:04.130 --> 00:47:05.240
  • CAN HAPPEN, THEN YOU CAN BE
  • 00:47:05.240 --> 00:47:07.080
  • FULLY NAKED.
  • 00:47:07.080 --> 00:47:08.030
  • I MEAN THAT METAPHORICALLY
  • 00:47:08.030 --> 00:47:09.020
  • SPEAKING.
  • 00:47:09.020 --> 00:47:09.250
  • YOU CAN BE FULLY NAKED
  • 00:47:09.250 --> 00:47:10.260
  • EMOTIONALLY, MENTALLY,
  • 00:47:10.260 --> 00:47:12.040
  • SPIRITUALLY.
  • 00:47:12.100 --> 00:47:15.100
  • NOW THAT I KNOW THAT NOTHING I
  • 00:47:15.100 --> 00:47:16.180
  • CAN DO COULD BREAK THIS, I WILL
  • 00:47:16.180 --> 00:47:18.030
  • BE ABLE TO FULLY, FREELY EXPOSE
  • 00:47:18.030 --> 00:47:20.220
  • MYSELF TO YOU AND YOU WILL SAY
  • 00:47:20.220 --> 00:47:22.160
  • I'M STILL HERE.
  • 00:47:22.160 --> 00:47:23.240
  • I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE, I LOVE
  • 00:47:23.240 --> 00:47:24.150
  • YOU.
  • 00:47:24.150 --> 00:47:26.040
  • AND THEN ON TOP OF THAT SEX
  • 00:47:26.040 --> 00:47:27.130
  • BECOMES THIS BEAUTIFUL EXTRA
  • 00:47:27.130 --> 00:47:28.030
  • LAYER.
  • 00:47:28.030 --> 00:47:29.150
  • SEX THEN BECOMES THIS PICTURE OF
  • 00:47:29.150 --> 00:47:30.080
  • THAT ACTUAL IN REAL LIFE.
  • 00:47:30.080 --> 00:47:32.060
  • I SEE ALL THAT YOU ARE.
  • 00:47:32.060 --> 00:47:33.130
  • I SEE YOUR SHORTCOMINGS, YOUR
  • 00:47:33.130 --> 00:47:34.170
  • FRAILTIES, ALL THE SHAME, ALL
  • 00:47:34.170 --> 00:47:36.060
  • THE PAST, ALL THE STUFF, AND I
  • 00:47:36.060 --> 00:47:37.230
  • STILL WANT TO BE ONE WITH YOU.
  • 00:47:37.230 --> 00:47:39.110
  • SO SEX BECOMES THIS OUTPLAY OF
  • 00:47:39.110 --> 00:47:40.190
  • ALL THE OTHER THINGS YOU SHOULD
  • 00:47:40.190 --> 00:47:42.040
  • BE DOING IN YOUR MARRIAGE
  • 00:47:42.040 --> 00:47:43.220
  • METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING.
  • 00:47:43.220 --> 00:47:45.050
  • - YOU DO A GOOD JOB OF TAKING
  • 00:47:45.050 --> 00:47:47.260
  • THIS IDEA, WHAT YOU TALKING
  • 00:47:47.260 --> 00:47:49.000
  • ABOUT IN COVENANT, I MEAN, THAT
  • 00:47:49.000 --> 00:47:50.270
  • AS BELIEVERS THAT IS WHAT WE
  • 00:47:50.270 --> 00:47:52.030
  • TALK ABOUT IN OUR SALVATION.
  • 00:47:52.030 --> 00:47:52.290
  • IT IS NOT BY OUR WORKS, IT IS BY
  • 00:47:52.290 --> 00:47:54.130
  • THE WORK OF JESUS THAT MADE THIS
  • 00:47:54.130 --> 00:47:56.050
  • NEW TESTIMONY FOR US SO THAT IT
  • 00:47:56.050 --> 00:47:57.260
  • IS LIKE -- EVERY OTHER RELIGION
  • 00:47:57.260 --> 00:48:00.060
  • IN THE WORLD SAYS DO THIS RIGHT
  • 00:48:00.060 --> 00:48:01.240
  • AND YOU WILL GO TO HEAVEN,
  • 00:48:01.240 --> 00:48:02.190
  • RIGHT?
  • 00:48:02.190 --> 00:48:05.010
  • AND INSTEAD, CHRISTIANITY SAYS
  • 00:48:05.010 --> 00:48:06.140
  • MAKE A COVENANT THROUGH
  • 00:48:06.140 --> 00:48:07.240
  • JESUS CHRIST NOT ON ANYTHING YOU
  • 00:48:07.240 --> 00:48:09.140
  • DO AND BUILD YOUR LIFE AROUND
  • 00:48:09.140 --> 00:48:10.270
  • THAT COVENANT.
  • 00:48:10.270 --> 00:48:12.220
  • - IT IS SECURE AND FREE, IT
  • 00:48:12.220 --> 00:48:13.160
  • IS--
  • 00:48:13.160 --> 00:48:14.170
  • - GRACE-FILLED, LIFE-GIVING.
  • 00:48:14.170 --> 00:48:15.240
  • THAT IS THE ANALOGY SCRIPTURE
  • 00:48:15.240 --> 00:48:16.270
  • GIVES US FOR MARRIAGE IS TO
  • 00:48:16.270 --> 00:48:18.140
  • APPLY THAT SAME COVENANTAL
  • 00:48:19.060 --> 00:48:22.060
  • THINKING WHERE WE ARE THROUGH
  • 00:48:22.060 --> 00:48:23.280
  • THIS THICK AND THIN, IT IS NOT
  • 00:48:23.280 --> 00:48:24.250
  • ABOUT DOING EVERYTHING
  • 00:48:24.250 --> 00:48:27.050
  • PERFECTLY, SO WE WILL HAVE A LOT
  • 00:48:27.050 --> 00:48:28.080
  • OF GRACE AND THAT WAY WE CAN BE
  • 00:48:28.080 --> 00:48:29.020
  • VULNERABLE WE CAN BE SEEN.
  • 00:48:29.020 --> 00:48:29.230
  • - I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T
  • 00:48:29.230 --> 00:48:30.180
  • TAP IN, LIKE IT IS THIS JOY
  • 00:48:30.180 --> 00:48:31.110
  • FILLED POWER.
  • 00:48:31.110 --> 00:48:32.080
  • YOU TAP INTO THAT COVENANTAL
  • 00:48:32.080 --> 00:48:33.200
  • POWER.
  • 00:48:33.200 --> 00:48:34.110
  • IF MARRIAGES WERE ACTUALLY
  • 00:48:34.110 --> 00:48:37.080
  • CONTRACT-BASED, THAT WOULD BE
  • 00:48:37.080 --> 00:48:38.100
  • THE THING YOU DATE FOR 99 YEARS
  • 00:48:38.100 --> 00:48:39.020
  • AND WHEN YOU ARE A LOT MORE HOLY
  • 00:48:39.020 --> 00:48:40.200
  • AND PERFECT AT ONE HUNDRED, THEN
  • 00:48:40.200 --> 00:48:41.120
  • YOU CAN GET MARRIED.
  • 00:48:41.120 --> 00:48:42.020
  • THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS, YOU
  • 00:48:42.020 --> 00:48:43.010
  • DON'T HAVE TO PROVE YOURSELF AND
  • 00:48:43.010 --> 00:48:44.120
  • THEN YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH TO GET
  • 00:48:44.120 --> 00:48:45.040
  • MARRIED.
  • 00:48:45.040 --> 00:48:45.290
  • YOU GET MARRIED YOUNG AND YOU
  • 00:48:45.290 --> 00:48:46.200
  • WILL HAVE A LOST SHORTCOMINGS
  • 00:48:46.200 --> 00:48:47.150
  • AND FAILURES BUT YOU ARE UNDER
  • 00:48:47.150 --> 00:48:48.060
  • HIS COVENANT.
  • 00:48:48.060 --> 00:48:49.210
  • - SO AT THE HEART OF IT ALL,
  • 00:48:49.210 --> 00:48:50.240
  • WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE NUMBER
  • 00:48:50.240 --> 00:48:52.100
  • ONE THING MARRIED PEOPLE TODAY,
  • 00:48:52.100 --> 00:48:54.050
  • LET'S SAY YOU HAVE BEEN MARRIED
  • 00:48:54.050 --> 00:48:55.160
  • 30 YEARS AND YOU ALMOST FEEL
  • 00:48:55.160 --> 00:48:57.140
  • LIKE ARE YOU ROOMMATES, YOU FEEL
  • 00:48:57.140 --> 00:48:58.220
  • LIKE YOU LOST THAT LOVE IN YOUR
  • 00:48:58.220 --> 00:48:59.140
  • RELATIONSHIP.
  • 00:48:59.140 --> 00:49:01.130
  • WHAT DO YOU THINK IS MAYBE THE
  • 00:49:01.130 --> 00:49:02.290
  • NUMBER ONE THINGS PEOPLE CAN DO
  • 00:49:03.230 --> 00:49:06.230
  • TO TODAY TO BRING SOME LIFE OR
  • 00:49:06.230 --> 00:49:07.280
  • HEALTH TO THEIR MARRIAGE?
  • 00:49:08.010 --> 00:49:11.010
  • - I THINK HONESTLY IT IS ALL
  • 00:49:11.010 --> 00:49:13.030
  • THE LITTLE THINGS, IT IS SO
  • 00:49:13.030 --> 00:49:14.130
  • SIMPLE THAT WE MISS IT.
  • 00:49:14.130 --> 00:49:16.130
  • IT IS LIKE WRITING A LITTLE LOVE
  • 00:49:16.130 --> 00:49:17.250
  • NOTE IN THEIR LUNCH WHEN THEY GO
  • 00:49:17.250 --> 00:49:20.020
  • TO WORK, OR, GIVING THEM THEIR
  • 00:49:20.020 --> 00:49:22.070
  • FAVORITE SNACK WHEN YOU GO TO
  • 00:49:22.070 --> 00:49:23.040
  • THE GROCERY STORE, JUST ALL
  • 00:49:23.040 --> 00:49:24.160
  • THESE THINGS THAT SHOWS HIM
  • 00:49:24.160 --> 00:49:26.080
  • LIKE, HEY, I'M THINKING OF YOU,
  • 00:49:26.080 --> 00:49:27.000
  • I LOVE YOU.
  • 00:49:27.000 --> 00:49:27.120
  • I KNOW YOU, I KNOW WHAT YOU
  • 00:49:27.120 --> 00:49:28.020
  • LIKE.
  • 00:49:28.020 --> 00:49:30.140
  • IT IS FUNNY BECAUSE WE WRITE
  • 00:49:30.140 --> 00:49:32.100
  • THEM OFF LIKE, NO, IT NEEDS TO
  • 00:49:32.100 --> 00:49:33.190
  • BE BIG, IT NEEDS TO BE THIS BIG
  • 00:49:33.190 --> 00:49:35.010
  • DATE OR THIS OVERNIGHT THING.
  • 00:49:35.010 --> 00:49:36.140
  • IT IS JUST THE LITTLE THINGS
  • 00:49:36.140 --> 00:49:37.190
  • THAT SAY, HEY, I LOVE YOU.
  • 00:49:37.190 --> 00:49:38.220
  • - IT COMES DOWN TO PURSUIT.
  • 00:49:38.220 --> 00:49:40.090
  • PURSUIT IS THE STRENGTH OR THE
  • 00:49:41.040 --> 00:49:44.040
  • SECRET SAUCE OF A MARRIAGE.
  • 00:49:44.040 --> 00:49:46.130
  • I DON'T KNOW ANY MARRIAGES THAT
  • 00:49:46.130 --> 00:49:48.210
  • ARE FAILING THAT ARE PURSUING
  • 00:49:48.210 --> 00:49:49.170
  • EACH OTHER REALLY WELL.
  • 00:49:49.170 --> 00:49:51.020
  • I KNOW A LOT OF MARRIAGES THAT
  • 00:49:51.020 --> 00:49:52.290
  • ARE SUCCEEDING THAT ARE PURSUING
  • 00:49:52.290 --> 00:49:53.220
  • EACH OTHER REALLY WELL.
  • 00:49:53.220 --> 00:49:55.020
  • THAT IS THE SECRET SAUCE.
  • 00:49:55.020 --> 00:49:57.010
  • WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TO OFFER TO
  • 00:49:57.010 --> 00:49:57.230
  • ANYONE THAT IS MARRIED THAT
  • 00:49:57.230 --> 00:49:59.010
  • LONG.
  • 00:49:59.010 --> 00:50:00.160
  • I WOULD RATHER HAVE COFFEE WITH
  • 00:50:00.160 --> 00:50:01.080
  • THEM AND HAVE THEM TELL US.
  • 00:50:01.170 --> 00:50:04.170
  • BUT, I THINK IN ONE SENSE I
  • 00:50:04.170 --> 00:50:05.270
  • THINK OF, YEAH, YOU HAVE TO
  • 00:50:05.270 --> 00:50:07.040
  • UNDERSTAND THAT THAT PURSUIT IS
  • 00:50:07.040 --> 00:50:08.220
  • WHAT IT IS ABOUT.
  • 00:50:08.220 --> 00:50:10.110
  • WHEN-- ANOTHER WAY TO PUT IT,
  • 00:50:10.210 --> 00:50:13.210
  • MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE FACING--
  • 00:50:13.210 --> 00:50:15.030
  • HERE IS WHAT I SAY, A LOT OF
  • 00:50:15.030 --> 00:50:16.220
  • MARRIAGES THAT GET DEAD OR DRY,
  • 00:50:16.220 --> 00:50:18.220
  • THEY ARE MISSING ONE OF THESE
  • 00:50:18.220 --> 00:50:20.140
  • TWO THINGS, A GOOD MARRIAGE
  • 00:50:20.140 --> 00:50:21.230
  • SHOULD BE FACING EACH OTHER EYE
  • 00:50:21.230 --> 00:50:22.250
  • TO EYE AND ALSO FACING OUT INTO
  • 00:50:22.250 --> 00:50:24.010
  • THE WORLD SHOULDER TO SHOULDER
  • 00:50:24.010 --> 00:50:26.020
  • YOU ARE ON MISSION TOGETHER IN
  • 00:50:26.020 --> 00:50:27.110
  • THE WORLD, THAT SHOULDER TO
  • 00:50:27.110 --> 00:50:28.100
  • SHOULDER.
  • 00:50:28.100 --> 00:50:29.180
  • YOU GUYS ARE DOING SOMETHING
  • 00:50:29.180 --> 00:50:30.110
  • TOGETHER.
  • 00:50:30.110 --> 00:50:31.290
  • YOU ARE CULTIVATING CREATING
  • 00:50:31.290 --> 00:50:33.010
  • BEAUTY AND ORDER OUT OF CHAOS IN
  • 00:50:33.010 --> 00:50:34.180
  • THE WORLD AS YOUR GOD-GIVEN
  • 00:50:34.180 --> 00:50:35.190
  • MISSION.
  • 00:50:35.190 --> 00:50:37.060
  • BUT YOU ALSO NEED TO BE EYE TO
  • 00:50:37.060 --> 00:50:38.140
  • EYE, YOU NEED TO HAVE INTIMACY
  • 00:50:38.140 --> 00:50:39.100
  • RELATIONALLY.
  • 00:50:39.100 --> 00:50:40.240
  • AND IF ONE OF THOSE IS MISSING,
  • 00:50:40.240 --> 00:50:41.290
  • IF YOU DON'T HAVE A MISSION, AND
  • 00:50:41.290 --> 00:50:43.110
  • YOU ARE JUST EYE TO EYE AND THAT
  • 00:50:43.110 --> 00:50:45.080
  • JUST GETS FUZZY ROMANTIC AND IT
  • 00:50:45.080 --> 00:50:46.160
  • SELF-TERMINATES, AND IF YOU ARE
  • 00:50:46.160 --> 00:50:48.010
  • ON A MISSION WITH NO INTIMACY,
  • 00:50:48.010 --> 00:50:49.090
  • THAT BECOMES YOU BURNOUT.
  • 00:50:49.090 --> 00:50:50.060
  • SOMETIMES THE THIRD WAY IS
  • 00:50:50.060 --> 00:50:51.200
  • BACK-TO-BACK, THAT IS USUALLY
  • 00:50:51.200 --> 00:50:52.240
  • THE ROOMMATE ONE.
  • 00:50:52.240 --> 00:50:54.100
  • YOU NEED TO TOTALLY TURN THAT
  • 00:50:54.100 --> 00:50:55.210
  • AROUND.
  • 00:50:55.210 --> 00:50:56.220
  • IF YOU PUT THOSE TWO IN YOUR
  • 00:50:56.220 --> 00:50:57.210
  • MARRIAGE, IT USUALLY HELPS.
  • 00:50:57.210 --> 00:50:58.110
  • - THAT IS GREAT.
  • 00:50:58.110 --> 00:50:59.000
  • I LOVE THAT IDEA OF PURSUIT.
  • 00:50:59.000 --> 00:50:59.240
  • YOU ARE 100% RIGHT.
  • 00:50:59.240 --> 00:51:01.100
  • I HAVE SEEN THAT.
  • 00:51:01.100 --> 00:51:02.130
  • I'VE NEVER NOTICED IT OR PHRASED
  • 00:51:02.130 --> 00:51:03.090
  • IT THAT WAY.
  • 00:51:03.090 --> 00:51:05.000
  • THE LITTLE THINGS, THAT IS
  • 00:51:05.000 --> 00:51:07.230
  • EXACTLY RIGHT.
  • 00:51:07.230 --> 00:51:08.140
  • A PRACTICAL PURSUIT.
  • 00:51:08.140 --> 00:51:10.100
  • A PURSUIT BY THESE TINY THINGS
  • 00:51:10.100 --> 00:51:12.060
  • EVERY DAY THAT SAYS I'M THINKING
  • 00:51:12.060 --> 00:51:14.000
  • ABOUT YOU, I LOVE YOU, I CARE
  • 00:51:14.000 --> 00:51:15.140
  • ABOUT YOU, CAN I HELP YOU?
  • 00:51:15.140 --> 00:51:16.120
  • CAN I DO SOMETHING FOR YOU?
  • 00:51:16.120 --> 00:51:17.280
  • - THE BEST WAY, THINK OF A
  • 00:51:17.280 --> 00:51:19.020
  • MARRIAGE LIKE A GARDEN, RIGHT?
  • 00:51:19.020 --> 00:51:21.110
  • A LOT OF MARRIAGES TRY TO SAVE
  • 00:51:21.110 --> 00:51:22.090
  • THEIR MARRIAGES BY DOING, LIKE
  • 00:51:22.090 --> 00:51:24.010
  • SHE SAID, WE ARE GOING TO GET
  • 00:51:24.010 --> 00:51:25.170
  • AWAY FOR A WEEK, AND WE ARE
  • 00:51:25.170 --> 00:51:27.020
  • GOING TO-- IT WILL BE THE BEST
  • 00:51:27.020 --> 00:51:28.010
  • BLOW-OUT GETAWAY RESORT, SPEND
  • 00:51:28.010 --> 00:51:29.160
  • ALL THE MONEY AND DO ALL THESE
  • 00:51:29.160 --> 00:51:30.070
  • THINGS.
  • 00:51:30.070 --> 00:51:31.040
  • FIRST OF ALL, WHEN YOU DO THAT,
  • 00:51:31.040 --> 00:51:32.090
  • THAT PRESSURE IS INSANE.
  • 00:51:32.090 --> 00:51:33.070
  • ALL YOU DO IS ARGUE AND FIGHT
  • 00:51:33.070 --> 00:51:33.280
  • THE WHOLE WEEK.
  • 00:51:33.280 --> 00:51:35.220
  • BUT, IF YOU DO THAT WITH A
  • 00:51:35.220 --> 00:51:36.180
  • GARDEN.
  • 00:51:36.180 --> 00:51:37.160
  • - THAT HAPPENED TO US ONE TIME
  • 00:51:37.160 --> 00:51:38.200
  • THAT EXACT THING.
  • 00:51:38.200 --> 00:51:40.090
  • - EVERY MARRIAGE HAS THAT.
  • 00:51:40.090 --> 00:51:42.180
  • IMAGINE IF YOU DID THAT WITH A
  • 00:51:42.180 --> 00:51:43.120
  • GARDEN.
  • 00:51:43.120 --> 00:51:45.030
  • IMAGINE IF YOU SAID, I'M NEVER
  • 00:51:45.030 --> 00:51:46.090
  • GOING TO TAKE CARE OF THIS
  • 00:51:46.090 --> 00:51:46.280
  • GARDEN.
  • 00:51:46.280 --> 00:51:48.050
  • I'M NEVER GOING TO WATER IT FOR
  • 00:51:48.050 --> 00:51:48.270
  • FIVE MINUTES EACH DAY.
  • 00:51:48.270 --> 00:51:49.280
  • OR I'M NEVER GOING TO TAKE ANY
  • 00:51:49.280 --> 00:51:51.120
  • OF THE WEEDS OUT OF THE DIRT AND
  • 00:51:51.120 --> 00:51:52.280
  • AT END OF THE YEAR YOU ARE LIKE,
  • 00:51:52.280 --> 00:51:54.040
  • YOU WATER IT AND GIVE IT THIS
  • 00:51:54.040 --> 00:51:55.260
  • NUTRITIOUS FOOD, YOU ARE NOT
  • 00:51:55.260 --> 00:51:57.260
  • GETTING ANY GOOD FOOD OFF THAT
  • 00:51:57.260 --> 00:51:59.060
  • GARDEN.
  • 00:51:59.060 --> 00:52:02.080
  • THAT GARDEN WILL NOT NOURISH YOU
  • 00:52:02.080 --> 00:52:03.020
  • BACK.
  • 00:52:03.020 --> 00:52:03.190
  • THE WAY YOU GET A GARDEN THAT
  • 00:52:03.190 --> 00:52:04.190
  • NOURISHES YOU BACK IS THE LITTLE
  • 00:52:04.190 --> 00:52:06.050
  • THINGS EVERY DAY WHERE YOU TAKE
  • 00:52:06.050 --> 00:52:06.270
  • CARE OF THAT GARDEN.
  • 00:52:06.270 --> 00:52:08.020
  • - THAT IS SO GOOD, YOU GUYS.
  • 00:52:08.020 --> 00:52:08.290
  • THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE
  • 00:52:08.290 --> 00:52:10.070
  • TONIGHT WATCHING THAT ARE
  • 00:52:10.070 --> 00:52:11.220
  • DIVORCED, HAVE BEEN DIVORCED A
  • 00:52:11.220 --> 00:52:12.140
  • LONG TIME.
  • 00:52:12.140 --> 00:52:14.270
  • OR JUST DON'T WANT TO GET
  • 00:52:14.270 --> 00:52:15.160
  • MARRIED.
  • 00:52:15.160 --> 00:52:16.170
  • THERE ARE SOME THINGS YOU WRITE
  • 00:52:16.170 --> 00:52:18.260
  • ABOUT WITH SINGLENESS.
  • 00:52:18.260 --> 00:52:19.140
  • LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT A LITTLE
  • 00:52:19.140 --> 00:52:20.050
  • BIT.
  • 00:52:20.050 --> 00:52:21.220
  • - WE LOVE THIS BOOK BECAUSE A
  • 00:52:21.220 --> 00:52:23.060
  • LOT OF PEOPLE THAT ARE SINGLE OR
  • 00:52:23.060 --> 00:52:24.080
  • DIVORCED THEY ARE LIKE, THAT'S A
  • 00:52:24.080 --> 00:52:25.100
  • NICE BOOK, BUT I DON'T WANT TO
  • 00:52:25.100 --> 00:52:26.200
  • REALLY READ IT BECAUSE IT'S
  • 00:52:26.200 --> 00:52:28.010
  • ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS AND I'M NOT
  • 00:52:28.010 --> 00:52:28.230
  • THERE.
  • 00:52:28.230 --> 00:52:29.130
  • - BUT THEY HAVE BEEN READING IT
  • 00:52:29.130 --> 00:52:30.070
  • AND LOVING IT.
  • 00:52:30.070 --> 00:52:31.070
  • - THEY HAVE BEEN READING IT AND
  • 00:52:31.070 --> 00:52:32.200
  • WE HAVE GOTTEN SO MUCH FEEDBACK
  • 00:52:32.200 --> 00:52:33.120
  • ABOUT HOW IT HAS BEEN SO
  • 00:52:33.120 --> 00:52:34.090
  • ENCOURAGING TO THEM.
  • 00:52:34.090 --> 00:52:35.160
  • I HAVE ONE CHAPTER IN THERE
  • 00:52:35.160 --> 00:52:36.080
  • ABOUT SINGLENESS AND MY STORY.
  • 00:52:36.080 --> 00:52:37.250
  • SOMETIME I FEEL SO SILLY TALKING
  • 00:52:38.000 --> 00:52:41.000
  • ABOUT IT CUZ HERE I WAS, I
  • 00:52:41.000 --> 00:52:42.040
  • DIDN'T DATE ANYONE UNTIL I WAS
  • 00:52:42.040 --> 00:52:43.170
  • 22, GOT MARRIED AT 25, NOW
  • 00:52:43.170 --> 00:52:46.020
  • LOOKING BACK, I WAS ACTUALLY
  • 00:52:46.020 --> 00:52:47.100
  • STILL REALLY YOUNG.
  • 00:52:47.100 --> 00:52:48.170
  • BUT I REMEMBER BEING IN THAT
  • 00:52:48.170 --> 00:52:50.070
  • SEASON.
  • 00:52:50.070 --> 00:52:51.250
  • AND BEING SINGLE, AND IN HIGH
  • 00:52:51.250 --> 00:52:53.150
  • SCHOOL AND COLLEGE AND SEEING
  • 00:52:53.150 --> 00:52:55.190
  • ALL MY FRIENDS DATE AND GET
  • 00:52:55.190 --> 00:52:56.090
  • ENGAGED.
  • 00:52:56.090 --> 00:52:57.070
  • I'M LIKE, WOW! NO ONE HAS EVEN
  • 00:52:57.070 --> 00:52:58.010
  • ASKED ME ON A DATE.
  • 00:52:58.010 --> 00:52:59.010
  • I NEVER GOT ASKED TO PROM.
  • 00:52:59.010 --> 00:53:00.130
  • I NEVER GOT ASKED TO HOMECOMING.
  • 00:53:00.130 --> 00:53:02.060
  • IT WAS REALLY HARD.
  • 00:53:02.060 --> 00:53:03.020
  • I THINK IN SINGLENESS THERE ARE
  • 00:53:03.020 --> 00:53:04.110
  • DIFFERENT SEASONS.
  • 00:53:04.110 --> 00:53:05.240
  • THERE ARE SEASONS WHERE YOU ARE
  • 00:53:05.240 --> 00:53:06.290
  • LIKE, YEAH, I'M LOVING THIS,
  • 00:53:06.290 --> 00:53:08.070
  • THIS IS SO FUN, I'M PURSUING MY
  • 00:53:08.070 --> 00:53:09.190
  • DREAMS, I'M TRAVELING THE WORLD,
  • 00:53:09.190 --> 00:53:11.110
  • OR WHATEVER IT MAY BE.
  • 00:53:11.110 --> 00:53:12.270
  • THERE ARE SEASONS THAT ARE LIKE
  • 00:53:12.270 --> 00:53:14.030
  • SO HARD WHERE YOU LITERALLY FEEL
  • 00:53:14.030 --> 00:53:15.170
  • LIKE I CAN'T TAKE ONE MORE
  • 00:53:15.170 --> 00:53:17.150
  • BREATH BECAUSE I CAN'T WAIT ONE
  • 00:53:17.150 --> 00:53:19.080
  • SECOND LONGER.
  • 00:53:19.080 --> 00:53:21.030
  • YOU ALMOST FEEL SUFFOCATED.
  • 00:53:21.030 --> 00:53:22.080
  • LORD, IF YOU MAKE ME WAIT ONE
  • 00:53:22.080 --> 00:53:24.030
  • MORE DAY, I DON'T THINK I WILL
  • 00:53:24.030 --> 00:53:25.070
  • BE ABLE TO SURVIVE.
  • 00:53:25.070 --> 00:53:26.150
  • - OR IT IS JUST NEVER WORKING.
  • 00:53:26.150 --> 00:53:28.030
  • NOBODY COMES ALONG OR A GIRL
  • 00:53:28.030 --> 00:53:29.160
  • COMES ALONG.
  • 00:53:29.160 --> 00:53:30.160
  • - YEAH, SO IT CAN BE REALLY
  • 00:53:30.160 --> 00:53:31.090
  • HARD.
  • 00:53:31.090 --> 00:53:33.100
  • I THINK IN CHRISTIAN CULTURE IT
  • 00:53:33.100 --> 00:53:34.200
  • IS REALLY HARD SOMETIMES BECAUSE
  • 00:53:34.200 --> 00:53:35.240
  • WE TREAT SINGLENESS ALMOST LIKE
  • 00:53:35.240 --> 00:53:37.050
  • WE HAVE NOT ARRIVED.
  • 00:53:37.050 --> 00:53:38.180
  • TO BE A VARSITY CHRISTIAN YOU
  • 00:53:38.180 --> 00:53:40.160
  • NEED TO BE MARRIED.
  • 00:53:40.160 --> 00:53:41.130
  • THAT IS SO NOT TRUE AT ALL.
  • 00:53:41.130 --> 00:53:43.170
  • AND, WHATEVER SEASON YOU ARE IN,
  • 00:53:43.170 --> 00:53:45.270
  • IT IS RIGHT WHERE GOD HAS FOR
  • 00:53:45.270 --> 00:53:47.290
  • YOU.
  • 00:53:47.290 --> 00:53:49.170
  • I LOVE PSALM 84:11, "NO GOOD
  • 00:53:50.020 --> 00:53:53.020
  • THING DOES HE WITHHOLD FROM
  • 00:53:53.020 --> 00:53:54.210
  • THOSE WHO WALK UPRIGHTLY."
  • 00:53:54.210 --> 00:53:56.140
  • - TOTALLY.
  • 00:53:56.140 --> 00:53:58.070
  • - SO IN THIS SEASON OF YOUR
  • 00:53:58.070 --> 00:53:59.040
  • LIFE, AT THIS VERY MOMENT, GOD
  • 00:53:59.040 --> 00:54:00.120
  • IS GIVING YOU HIS ABSOLUTE BEST,
  • 00:54:00.120 --> 00:54:01.170
  • HE IS NOT WITHHOLDING ANYTHING
  • 00:54:01.170 --> 00:54:02.280
  • FROM YOU.
  • 00:54:02.280 --> 00:54:03.200
  • SO TO TRUST THAT AND ALSO TO BE
  • 00:54:03.200 --> 00:54:06.070
  • HONEST WITH HIM ABOUT WHERE YOU
  • 00:54:06.070 --> 00:54:07.270
  • ARE AND WHERE YOUR DESIRE IS AND
  • 00:54:07.270 --> 00:54:09.130
  • HOW YOU MAY NEED TO GRIEVE A
  • 00:54:09.130 --> 00:54:11.100
  • SEASON BECAUSE YOUR LIFE DOES
  • 00:54:11.100 --> 00:54:13.090
  • NOT LOOK LIKE YOU THOUGHT IT
  • 00:54:13.090 --> 00:54:14.200
  • WOULD.
  • 00:54:14.200 --> 00:54:16.090
  • SO BEING HONEST AND INTIMATE
  • 00:54:16.090 --> 00:54:17.120
  • WITH THE LORD AND CRYING OUT TO
  • 00:54:17.120 --> 00:54:19.050
  • HIM BECAUSE HE KNOWS YOUR HEART
  • 00:54:19.050 --> 00:54:19.290
  • AND HE KNOWS YOUR DESIRES.
  • 00:54:20.000 --> 00:54:23.000
  • - DON'T YOU THINK, I REALLY
  • 00:54:23.000 --> 00:54:24.100
  • BELIEVE GOD LOVES FAMILIES, GOD
  • 00:54:24.100 --> 00:54:25.250
  • WANTS US TO BE MARRIED AND HAVE
  • 00:54:25.250 --> 00:54:27.200
  • CHILDREN, BUT NOT ALL OF US.
  • 00:54:27.200 --> 00:54:29.160
  • YOU READ PAUL WHO WAS SINGLE.
  • 00:54:29.160 --> 00:54:32.000
  • THIS IS JUST PAUL TALKING, BUT I
  • 00:54:32.000 --> 00:54:34.230
  • THINK IT IS BETTER THAT YOU BE
  • 00:54:34.230 --> 00:54:35.170
  • SINGLE.
  • 00:54:35.170 --> 00:54:36.090
  • AND THE BIBLE--
  • 00:54:36.090 --> 00:54:37.200
  • - I WAS GOING TO SAY, IF THERE
  • 00:54:37.200 --> 00:54:39.050
  • IS ANY ARGUMENT FOR A VARSITY
  • 00:54:39.050 --> 00:54:40.120
  • CHRISTIAN IT IS PROBABLY THE
  • 00:54:40.120 --> 00:54:41.030
  • SINGLE PERSON.
  • 00:54:41.030 --> 00:54:41.210
  • - THE SINGLE GUY OR GAL.
  • 00:54:41.210 --> 00:54:43.090
  • A LOT OF PEOPLE, I THINK IT IS
  • 00:54:43.090 --> 00:54:44.240
  • EXACTLY RIGHT.
  • 00:54:44.240 --> 00:54:47.100
  • THE PERSON WHO IS OLDER THAT IS
  • 00:54:47.100 --> 00:54:49.240
  • SINGLE, IT IS LIKE, THEY SHOULD
  • 00:54:49.240 --> 00:54:51.010
  • BE-- IT IS GOOD IF THAT IS WHAT
  • 00:54:51.010 --> 00:54:51.260
  • GOD CALLED YOU TO DO.
  • 00:54:51.260 --> 00:54:54.000
  • YOU NOW ARE FREE TO DO SO MANY
  • 00:54:54.000 --> 00:54:55.190
  • OTHER THINGS THAT WHEN YOU HAVE
  • 00:54:55.190 --> 00:54:57.010
  • CHILDREN AND WHEN YOU HAVE ALL
  • 00:54:57.010 --> 00:54:58.250
  • THAT STUFF, IT REALLY-- CHILDREN
  • 00:54:58.250 --> 00:55:00.140
  • IS A TIME ENERGY SUCK.
  • 00:55:00.140 --> 00:55:02.210
  • IT DRAINS YOUR LIFE.
  • 00:55:02.210 --> 00:55:04.120
  • - HASHTAG BLESSING.
  • 00:55:04.120 --> 00:55:06.130
  • - I GET IT.
  • 00:55:06.130 --> 00:55:08.010
  • - SO I TOTALLY FELT THAT.
  • 00:55:08.110 --> 00:55:11.110
  • IN A LOT OF CHURCHES NOT ALL
  • 00:55:11.110 --> 00:55:13.200
  • CHURCHES, YOU GET A FEELING LIKE
  • 00:55:13.200 --> 00:55:15.210
  • YOU ARE NOT AS GOOD AS EVERYBODY
  • 00:55:15.210 --> 00:55:17.100
  • ELSE IF YOU ARE NOT MARRIED OR
  • 00:55:17.100 --> 00:55:18.130
  • HAVE KIDS.
  • 00:55:18.130 --> 00:55:19.000
  • - HAVE YOU MET ANYONE YET?
  • 00:55:19.000 --> 00:55:19.220
  • OH, NO.
  • 00:55:19.220 --> 00:55:20.180
  • I'M IN CHARGE OF MY LIFE RIGHT
  • 00:55:20.180 --> 00:55:21.140
  • NOW.
  • 00:55:21.140 --> 00:55:22.070
  • - THAT IS THE IDOLATRY OF THE
  • 00:55:22.070 --> 00:55:23.150
  • AMERICAN DREAM, LIKE THE FAMILY,
  • 00:55:23.150 --> 00:55:24.240
  • THE WHITE PICKET FENCE, THE JOB.
  • 00:55:24.240 --> 00:55:26.000
  • IN REALITY SCRIPTURE SAYS THERE
  • 00:55:26.000 --> 00:55:28.060
  • ARE TWO CALLINGS, YOU CAN HAVE A
  • 00:55:28.060 --> 00:55:30.040
  • MARRIED CALLING OR A SINGLE
  • 00:55:30.040 --> 00:55:31.290
  • CALLING, AND YOU NEED TO CRUSH
  • 00:55:31.290 --> 00:55:33.040
  • IT IN WHATEVER ONE YOU ARE
  • 00:55:33.040 --> 00:55:34.200
  • LIVING IN, NOT TRY TO WISH YOU
  • 00:55:34.200 --> 00:55:35.240
  • ARE THE OTHER CALLING, IF YOU
  • 00:55:35.240 --> 00:55:38.080
  • ARE SINGLE, LIVE IN THAT, IF YOU
  • 00:55:38.080 --> 00:55:39.110
  • ARE MARRIED, LIVE IN THAT.
  • 00:55:39.110 --> 00:55:40.090
  • - AT THE HEART OF IT, IT SEEMS
  • 00:55:40.090 --> 00:55:41.180
  • LIKE GOD HAS CALLED US TO SIMPLY
  • 00:55:41.180 --> 00:55:42.250
  • BE AT PEACE WITH WHERE WE ARE.
  • 00:55:42.250 --> 00:55:44.180
  • IF YOU ARE SINGLE BE WITH PEACE
  • 00:55:44.180 --> 00:55:45.110
  • WITH THAT.
  • 00:55:45.110 --> 00:55:46.020
  • IF YOU ARE MARRIED BE AT PEACE
  • 00:55:46.020 --> 00:55:46.230
  • WITH THAT.
  • 00:55:46.230 --> 00:55:47.110
  • - AND BE FAITHFUL.
  • 00:55:47.110 --> 00:55:48.020
  • - YEAH TOTALLY.
  • 00:55:48.020 --> 00:55:50.100
  • - WELL, GUYS, THIS HAS BEEN
  • 00:55:50.100 --> 00:55:51.060
  • SUCH AN AWESOME INTERVIEW.
  • 00:55:51.060 --> 00:55:53.010
  • AND AS WE WRAP IT UP IN THIS
  • 00:55:53.010 --> 00:55:54.250
  • DISCUSSION, ARE THERE ANY WORDS
  • 00:55:54.250 --> 00:55:56.120
  • OF ENCOURAGEMENT YOU CAN GIVE TO
  • 00:55:56.120 --> 00:55:57.210
  • OUR AUDIENCE THAT ARE WATCHING,
  • 00:55:57.210 --> 00:55:58.270
  • JUST A LAST THING THE LORD IS
  • 00:55:58.270 --> 00:56:00.240
  • PRESSED ON YOUR HEART?
  • 00:56:02.180 --> 00:56:05.180
  • - I THINK, YEAH, TO END, THE
  • 00:56:05.180 --> 00:56:06.170
  • HEART OF THE BOOK WHICH IS HOW
  • 00:56:06.170 --> 00:56:08.020
  • WE DISCOVER GOD'S BETTER WAY FOR
  • 00:56:08.020 --> 00:56:09.010
  • LOVE, DATING, MARRIAGE AND SEX,
  • 00:56:09.010 --> 00:56:10.100
  • AND THAT WOULD BE MY
  • 00:56:10.100 --> 00:56:11.010
  • ENCOURAGEMENT, IS THAT GOD'S WAY
  • 00:56:11.010 --> 00:56:12.200
  • IS THE BETTER WAY AND NOT THAT
  • 00:56:12.200 --> 00:56:14.120
  • YOU WOULD LIVE IN GOD'S WAY OF
  • 00:56:14.120 --> 00:56:16.250
  • SEX, MARRIAGE AND LOVE BECAUSE
  • 00:56:16.250 --> 00:56:19.250
  • HE IS GOING TO THROW A LIGHTNING
  • 00:56:19.250 --> 00:56:21.120
  • BOLT ON YOU IF YOU DON'T, BUT IT
  • 00:56:21.120 --> 00:56:22.160
  • IS ACTUALLY GOING TO GO BETTER
  • 00:56:22.160 --> 00:56:24.280
  • FOR YOU.
  • 00:56:24.280 --> 00:56:25.230
  • THERE IS THIS QUOTE THAT ALWAYS
  • 00:56:25.230 --> 00:56:26.160
  • HAPPENS IN THE TORAH, LATER IN
  • 00:56:26.160 --> 00:56:28.110
  • ISRAEL'S NARRATIVE WHERE HE
  • 00:56:28.110 --> 00:56:29.230
  • ALWAYS-- IT SAYS THIS PHRASE,
  • 00:56:29.230 --> 00:56:32.030
  • OBEY IN THIS WAY, AND IT SAYS,
  • 00:56:32.030 --> 00:56:33.120
  • SO THAT IT MAY GO WELL WITH YOU.
  • 00:56:33.120 --> 00:56:34.170
  • HE DESIGNED IT.
  • 00:56:35.160 --> 00:56:38.160
  • HE KNOWS HOW IT IS MEANT TO WORK
  • 00:56:38.180 --> 00:56:41.180
  • AND HOW IT IS MEANT TO OPERATE.
  • 00:56:41.180 --> 00:56:43.080
  • WE SHOULD LIVE IN THAT SO IT MAY
  • 00:56:43.080 --> 00:56:44.160
  • GO WELL WITH US.
  • 00:56:44.160 --> 00:56:45.150
  • AND THAT IS WHAT THE HEART OF
  • 00:56:45.150 --> 00:56:46.110
  • THE BOOK IS.
  • 00:56:46.110 --> 00:56:47.150
  • - THAT IS GOOD.
  • 00:56:47.150 --> 00:56:48.140
  • I APPRECIATE YOU GUYS SO MUCH.
  • 00:56:48.140 --> 00:56:50.120
  • AND, THE BOOK IS CALLED "LOVE
  • 00:56:50.120 --> 00:56:51.090
  • THAT LASTS."
  • 00:56:51.090 --> 00:56:52.130
  • WE HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT
  • 00:56:52.180 --> 00:56:55.180
  • JEFFERSON AND ALYSSA BETHKE.
  • 00:56:55.180 --> 00:56:56.080
  • THE BOOK IS OUT NOW.
  • 00:56:56.080 --> 00:56:57.120
  • I WANT TO RECOMMEND YOU GET IT.
  • 00:56:57.120 --> 00:56:58.210
  • MORE THAN ANYTHING, THE 3 OF US
  • 00:56:58.210 --> 00:57:00.120
  • WANT YOU TO KNOW YOU ARE LOVED
  • 00:57:00.120 --> 00:57:01.250
  • RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE.
  • 00:57:01.250 --> 00:57:03.100
  • GOD LOVES YOU JUST AS YOU ARE,
  • 00:57:03.100 --> 00:57:04.290
  • NOT AS YOU SHOULD BE AND WE
  • 00:57:04.290 --> 00:57:06.160
  • BELIEVE HE CALLED YOU TO GREAT
  • 00:57:06.160 --> 00:57:07.080
  • THINGS.
  • 00:57:07.080 --> 00:57:07.290
  • I'M BOBBY SCHULLER, AND I THANK
  • 00:57:07.290 --> 00:57:08.210
  • YOU FOR JOINING US TONIGHT ON
  • 00:57:08.210 --> 00:57:09.120
  • PRAISE.
  • 00:57:09.120 --> 00:57:10.060
  • GOD BLESS YOU.
  • 00:57:12.050 --> 00:57:15.050
  • MUSIC
  • 00:57:19.240 --> 00:57:22.240
  • MUSIC
  • 00:57:25.230 --> 00:57:28.230