Marriage Made EZ: Deny/Kill Yourself | TBN

Marriage Made EZ: Deny/Kill Yourself

Watch Marriage Made EZ: Deny/Kill Yourself
August 29, 2016
28:31

Living by Faith with Mike & DeeDee Freeman

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Marriage Made EZ: Deny/Kill Yourself

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  • If Cuba and United States can get together,
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  • why can't couples?
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  • There's reconciliation going on all over this world.
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  • And the only people ain't getting along
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  • is you and your spouse.
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  • Turn to your spouse and say we gonna get along baby.
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  • - And it's a new day.
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  • Let's get together
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  • - How do the boys say it?
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  • Let's stay together
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  • Loving you whether
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  • Whether
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  • Good or bad
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  • Or happy or sad
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  • Let's
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  • Let's stay together
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  • Woo stay together, would y'all stay together please?
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  • (DeeDee laughs)
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  • - Why is your wife getting on your nerve?
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  • Or why is your husband getting on your nerve?
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  • I promise you, you don't wanna miss
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  • this upcoming table talk discussion
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  • with Dr. Dee Dee.
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  • It's a reason why each other
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  • are getting on each others nerves
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  • and we're gon fix that today.
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  • Don't leave from where you are.
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  • principle that I've discovered.
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  • Now let me tell you what happened this past week.
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  • Are you interested in what happened this past week?
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  • (congregation responds)
  • 00:02:01.210 --> 00:02:03.030
  • Well at least let me tell you.
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  • I meet with
  • 00:02:06.000 --> 00:02:07.190
  • a group that I call Next Gen.
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  • Next Gen is a group
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  • of about 25 to 30,
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  • 25 to 35 year old couples.
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  • Did I say that right?
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  • - Mmm hmm, some of them may be a little bit older.
  • 00:02:26.160 --> 00:02:28.150
  • - Some of them may be a tad older.
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  • And not all are married.
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  • - Right.
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  • - Okay.
  • 00:02:34.220 --> 00:02:35.290
  • And I call them Next Gen because they represent
  • 00:02:36.150 --> 00:02:39.260
  • a generation of course that's gonna take the reigns
  • 00:02:39.260 --> 00:02:44.130
  • of what's happening in our society and in our world
  • 00:02:44.130 --> 00:02:48.140
  • and even of course in ministry.
  • 00:02:48.140 --> 00:02:50.220
  • And they approach their perspectives are quite different.
  • 00:02:52.050 --> 00:02:57.010
  • When are you gonna say anything tonight?
  • 00:02:57.010 --> 00:02:59.040
  • It's like, - [DeeDee] I'm not.
  • 00:02:59.040 --> 00:03:00.120
  • - [Pastor] I've been doing a lot of talking.
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  • - I know, you're doing so good.
  • 00:03:01.100 --> 00:03:02.210
  • This is great.
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  • Flow, just keep it going.
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  • I already told him he had this.
  • 00:03:07.250 --> 00:03:09.180
  • I knew this was in you.
  • 00:03:09.180 --> 00:03:11.020
  • You knew this.
  • 00:03:11.020 --> 00:03:12.100
  • I got a couple of little notes here,
  • 00:03:12.180 --> 00:03:14.050
  • if I get a chance to say something I will.
  • 00:03:14.050 --> 00:03:16.080
  • - Well did you even say hello and.
  • 00:03:16.080 --> 00:03:18.270
  • - Hello.
  • 00:03:18.270 --> 00:03:19.210
  • - Good evening.
  • 00:03:19.210 --> 00:03:20.110
  • - Good evening.
  • 00:03:20.110 --> 00:03:21.170
  • - Didn't they do well in the scripture.
  • 00:03:22.050 --> 00:03:23.140
  • - They did excellent, I thought it was good.
  • 00:03:23.140 --> 00:03:25.240
  • It was beautiful.
  • 00:03:25.240 --> 00:03:27.010
  • Continue.
  • 00:03:29.220 --> 00:03:30.130
  • - Okay.
  • 00:03:30.130 --> 00:03:31.130
  • So as I was speaking with them,
  • 00:03:33.110 --> 00:03:35.220
  • because of their perspective and the way they view things,
  • 00:03:37.200 --> 00:03:40.130
  • of course their perspective and perception of things
  • 00:03:40.130 --> 00:03:44.030
  • is quite different.
  • 00:03:44.030 --> 00:03:45.180
  • As long as we get to the same kinda results and conclusion
  • 00:03:45.180 --> 00:03:49.230
  • that we need to get to,
  • 00:03:50.040 --> 00:03:51.100
  • I don't care what angle they present
  • 00:03:51.100 --> 00:03:54.040
  • as long as we end up on the same page at the end of the day.
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  • Can I get an amen?
  • 00:03:58.170 --> 00:04:00.030
  • - [Congregation] Amen.
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  • - And so I discuss with them briefly,
  • 00:04:02.010 --> 00:04:04.230
  • and I was seeking and desiring their assistance,
  • 00:04:05.040 --> 00:04:09.010
  • and at least staying on the cutting edge
  • 00:04:09.010 --> 00:04:12.160
  • as it relates to my life.
  • 00:04:12.160 --> 00:04:13.220
  • Because I'm 54 years old right?
  • 00:04:13.220 --> 00:04:16.270
  • I'm 54 years old now, I'll be 55.
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  • The speed limit this year. - [DeeDee] Jesus.
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  • - [Pastor] Yeah, how about that, God.
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  • And the devil tried to kill me before I got to 54.
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  • But God.
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  • (Pastor speaks foreign word)
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  • Hey na na na na
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  • (DeeDee laughs)
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  • - Okay.
  • 00:04:37.120 --> 00:04:38.100
  • - And so as a 54 year old man
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  • speaking to a 25 year old man,
  • 00:04:41.090 --> 00:04:44.200
  • we may say the same things
  • 00:04:44.200 --> 00:04:46.140
  • but we have an entirely different view.
  • 00:04:46.140 --> 00:04:49.060
  • It's almost like the synoptic Gospels if you will.
  • 00:04:49.060 --> 00:04:53.090
  • If you look what Mark said.
  • 00:04:53.090 --> 00:04:55.050
  • Mark said something that Matthew didn't say
  • 00:04:55.050 --> 00:04:58.060
  • and Luke had a different kind of slang.
  • 00:04:58.060 --> 00:05:00.130
  • Luke was fast paced.
  • 00:05:00.130 --> 00:05:02.020
  • No it was Mark that always was fast and getting to.
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  • Matthew, if you look at Matthew in the beginning of Matthew
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  • he starts with a beat of genealogies.
  • 00:05:08.270 --> 00:05:12.050
  • And he said "This one begat this one."
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  • Mark just went right to it.
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  • He used terms like straightway and immediately.
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  • As a matter of fact, Matthew had 28 chapters,
  • 00:05:20.030 --> 00:05:23.140
  • Mark had 16.
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  • So Mark just got straight to the point.
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  • You following what I'm saying?
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  • And there are relationships as such.
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  • And you know what I was thinking today?
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  • Don't let me lose my point.
  • 00:05:32.220 --> 00:05:33.280
  • If Cuba and United States can get together,
  • 00:05:33.280 --> 00:05:36.220
  • why can't couples?
  • 00:05:36.220 --> 00:05:38.040
  • There's reconciliation going on all over this world.
  • 00:05:40.280 --> 00:05:45.140
  • And the only people ain't getting along
  • 00:05:46.040 --> 00:05:47.250
  • is you and your spouse.
  • 00:05:47.250 --> 00:05:49.090
  • Turn to your spouse and say we gonna get along baby.
  • 00:05:50.170 --> 00:05:53.010
  • - And it's a new day.
  • 00:05:53.010 --> 00:05:54.030
  • Let's get together
  • 00:05:54.030 --> 00:05:56.220
  • - How do the boys say it?
  • 00:05:56.220 --> 00:05:57.240
  • Let's stay together
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  • Loving you whether
  • 00:06:02.120 --> 00:06:05.230
  • Whether
  • 00:06:06.070 --> 00:06:08.060
  • Good or bad
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  • Or happy or sad
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  • Let's
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  • Let's stay together
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  • Woo stay together, would y'all stay together please?
  • 00:06:22.030 --> 00:06:25.100
  • (DeeDee laughs)
  • 00:06:25.100 --> 00:06:27.120
  • - But we want them to stay together and be happy.
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  • For real, there's so many people that are just together.
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  • You know you gotta get to the place
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  • where you don't just wanna be together.
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  • But you wanna produce what God
  • 00:06:44.150 --> 00:06:46.000
  • has commanded us to produce.
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  • We wanna be able to take dominion together
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  • and rule together.
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  • But you have to work on that.
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  • And I love what you've been teaching on that
  • 00:06:54.000 --> 00:06:55.220
  • whole denying yourself principle.
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  • - [Pastor] Have you?
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  • - Oh yes, totally.
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  • - Have y'all been enjoying it really?
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  • (congregation responds)
  • 00:07:01.170 --> 00:07:02.220
  • - Because this lesson is not a lesson
  • 00:07:02.220 --> 00:07:05.050
  • that you can listen to as a group.
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  • You have to listen to this individually.
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  • Meaning you have to hear it for yourselves.
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  • All messages should be like that.
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  • But this is a message, if you just come in
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  • and you just say "Oh he just taught a good word today."
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  • You're gonna miss it.
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  • This has to be "Oh he talked to me today."
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  • It's a difference.
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  • And this whole denying yourself principle,
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  • it has stretched me.
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  • - Really?
  • 00:07:32.270 --> 00:07:34.050
  • - Oh yeah, because I mean it's some things
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  • that I wanna say or certain things
  • 00:07:35.190 --> 00:07:39.220
  • that I may want to respond to
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  • that I'll hear the lesson and it automatically
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  • challenges me to just back up.
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  • (Pastor speaking foreign language)
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  • - I know you would like that.
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  • - Glory to God.
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  • Thank you Jesus.
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  • - But I believe that's the only way
  • 00:07:56.070 --> 00:07:57.040
  • we can really be--
  • 00:07:57.040 --> 00:07:58.100
  • - That's without me saying anything to you?
  • 00:07:58.100 --> 00:07:59.230
  • - Oh yea totally.
  • 00:07:59.230 --> 00:08:01.070
  • Because I have to hear you as my Pastor as well.
  • 00:08:01.070 --> 00:08:03.070
  • - All right now.
  • 00:08:03.070 --> 00:08:04.140
  • I'm not just your man, but I'm your Pastor.
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  • And you do a God job in switching roles.
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  • - [DeeDee] I think so.
  • 00:08:14.100 --> 00:08:15.170
  • - [Pastor] Do I do as equally a good job?
  • 00:08:15.170 --> 00:08:16.280
  • - You work on it real hard.
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  • (congregation laughs)
  • 00:08:18.220 --> 00:08:20.280
  • - Did she answer my question?
  • 00:08:20.280 --> 00:08:22.220
  • - [Audience member] That's a politician answer.
  • 00:08:23.280 --> 00:08:25.070
  • - That's a politician answer.
  • 00:08:26.160 --> 00:08:28.160
  • - I'm a wise woman.
  • 00:08:29.010 --> 00:08:30.170
  • - So I was talking to them, and I'm glad you mentioned that.
  • 00:08:32.250 --> 00:08:37.070
  • Because I want certain...
  • 00:08:37.070 --> 00:08:40.260
  • What's the word?
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  • I want certain,
  • 00:08:45.230 --> 00:08:47.060
  • trigger words.
  • 00:08:49.130 --> 00:08:51.010
  • I want certain triggers.
  • 00:08:51.100 --> 00:08:53.130
  • I want certain things to trigger a certain statement
  • 00:08:54.000 --> 00:08:58.020
  • that can remind you of what
  • 00:08:58.130 --> 00:09:02.230
  • your responsibility and God given role is
  • 00:09:02.230 --> 00:09:06.160
  • as a husband and of course wife.
  • 00:09:06.160 --> 00:09:09.160
  • And so I asked them I said, "You all have a very unique
  • 00:09:10.140 --> 00:09:14.230
  • "way of..."
  • 00:09:14.230 --> 00:09:17.240
  • How did I? - [DeeDee] Communicating?
  • 00:09:18.160 --> 00:09:20.010
  • - [DeeDee] I don't know how you said it
  • 00:09:20.010 --> 00:09:21.080
  • but coming up - [Pastor] Communicating given?
  • 00:09:21.080 --> 00:09:22.160
  • - [DeeDee] with certain things, communicating.
  • 00:09:22.160 --> 00:09:24.130
  • Just communicating.
  • 00:09:24.130 --> 00:09:25.270
  • - So I asked them to take the denying yourself principle
  • 00:09:25.270 --> 00:09:29.220
  • and give me the way you would present it
  • 00:09:29.220 --> 00:09:32.260
  • to your generation.
  • 00:09:32.260 --> 00:09:35.140
  • And one guy, I think it was Mark Keys,
  • 00:09:35.290 --> 00:09:38.160
  • Mark Keys says "Kill yourself."
  • 00:09:38.160 --> 00:09:40.250
  • I said "What?"
  • 00:09:44.060 --> 00:09:45.220
  • He said "That's how we talk, kill yourself.
  • 00:09:46.120 --> 00:09:48.150
  • "The denying yourself principle is kill yourself.
  • 00:09:48.150 --> 00:09:51.000
  • "You need to kill yourself."
  • 00:09:51.000 --> 00:09:52.150
  • And I sat there and I listened for a while.
  • 00:09:54.060 --> 00:09:56.160
  • I said "That's pretty cool."
  • 00:09:56.160 --> 00:09:58.080
  • So tonight I'm gonna be discussing killing yourself.
  • 00:09:58.080 --> 00:10:02.290
  • Turn to your neighbor and say
  • 00:10:03.200 --> 00:10:04.180
  • you just need to kill yourself.
  • 00:10:04.180 --> 00:10:05.290
  • That's what you need to do.
  • 00:10:05.290 --> 00:10:07.170
  • (DeeDee laughs)
  • 00:10:10.060 --> 00:10:11.280
  • (Pastor stutters)
  • 00:10:11.280 --> 00:10:14.230
  • My objective, or my endeavor, or my desire,
  • 00:10:15.210 --> 00:10:19.190
  • that's a better word.
  • 00:10:19.190 --> 00:10:21.010
  • My desire is that
  • 00:10:21.010 --> 00:10:23.090
  • this will register or resonate
  • 00:10:26.210 --> 00:10:30.200
  • in your spirit, in your soul
  • 00:10:30.200 --> 00:10:33.160
  • when it's time for you to exercise
  • 00:10:33.160 --> 00:10:37.060
  • or to execute this particular principle of denying yourself.
  • 00:10:37.060 --> 00:10:40.280
  • - You know while you were making that point about
  • 00:10:50.090 --> 00:10:52.160
  • how now, I no longer get on your nerves
  • 00:10:52.160 --> 00:10:56.130
  • because you have made some decisions
  • 00:10:56.130 --> 00:10:58.240
  • to change and I love that.
  • 00:10:58.240 --> 00:11:00.260
  • I mean because that's evident.
  • 00:11:00.260 --> 00:11:03.110
  • You have definitely changed your position,
  • 00:11:03.110 --> 00:11:06.090
  • your disposition towards me
  • 00:11:06.090 --> 00:11:10.210
  • and with everybody in that regard.
  • 00:11:10.210 --> 00:11:13.020
  • But I was thinking, you know how we're always
  • 00:11:13.020 --> 00:11:16.040
  • talking about when your spouse has something
  • 00:11:16.040 --> 00:11:20.170
  • that they're encountering that you disagree with
  • 00:11:20.170 --> 00:11:24.070
  • or you are having challenges with,
  • 00:11:24.070 --> 00:11:26.010
  • how I can just pray about it and leave it alone.
  • 00:11:26.010 --> 00:11:29.220
  • There is something that I pray about you everyday.
  • 00:11:29.220 --> 00:11:32.240
  • That you would be even tempered,
  • 00:11:32.240 --> 00:11:34.080
  • that you would love me the way Christ loves the church,
  • 00:11:34.080 --> 00:11:36.200
  • and that you would be affectionate towards me,
  • 00:11:36.200 --> 00:11:40.000
  • that you would understand me.
  • 00:11:40.000 --> 00:11:41.050
  • These are things that I pray
  • 00:11:41.050 --> 00:11:43.010
  • and even when you are irritated with something that I do,
  • 00:11:43.010 --> 00:11:47.190
  • it would change your position on how you would treat me
  • 00:11:47.190 --> 00:11:52.190
  • and how you would feel.
  • 00:11:52.290 --> 00:11:54.030
  • - So, you're responsible for this change
  • 00:11:54.030 --> 00:11:55.130
  • that has taken place?
  • 00:11:55.130 --> 00:11:56.270
  • - Of course, I would like to say that you know women
  • 00:11:56.270 --> 00:11:59.200
  • - Pride
  • 00:11:59.200 --> 00:12:00.260
  • - Pride, pride, call it what you may
  • 00:12:00.260 --> 00:12:02.160
  • - How in God's name are you gonna take credit for that?
  • 00:12:02.160 --> 00:12:05.270
  • - However this transpired.
  • 00:12:06.260 --> 00:12:09.130
  • - Yeah, I'm not taking credit for that,
  • 00:12:09.130 --> 00:12:11.070
  • my whole point is this, it's like
  • 00:12:11.070 --> 00:12:13.120
  • you don't have to murmur and complain,
  • 00:12:13.120 --> 00:12:16.230
  • you don't have to get worked up,
  • 00:12:16.230 --> 00:12:18.240
  • you don't have to loose it,
  • 00:12:18.280 --> 00:12:20.220
  • all you have to do is trust God through this whole process.
  • 00:12:20.220 --> 00:12:22.250
  • - And watch and pray that, yeah.
  • 00:12:22.250 --> 00:12:24.120
  • You know because, it's like I can pray about some things
  • 00:12:24.120 --> 00:12:27.140
  • and I can leave it alone,
  • 00:12:27.140 --> 00:12:29.070
  • walk away from it and allow God to minister to your heart.
  • 00:12:29.070 --> 00:12:32.180
  • So, regardless of how you got there
  • 00:12:32.180 --> 00:12:35.080
  • - Right.
  • 00:12:35.080 --> 00:12:36.060
  • - You know, you've gotten there
  • 00:12:36.060 --> 00:12:37.250
  • and I wanted to use that as a point
  • 00:12:37.250 --> 00:12:39.280
  • to say OK, we don't have to just loose it all the time
  • 00:12:39.280 --> 00:12:42.280
  • when we don't agree, or when we get on each others nerves
  • 00:12:42.280 --> 00:12:45.240
  • or when we do stuff that irritate each other.
  • 00:12:45.270 --> 00:12:49.100
  • We can pray about it, leave it alone,
  • 00:12:49.100 --> 00:12:52.020
  • walk away from it and allow
  • 00:12:52.020 --> 00:12:53.220
  • Holy Spirit to do the work because ultimately
  • 00:12:53.220 --> 00:12:56.190
  • the Holy Spirit is the one.
  • 00:12:56.190 --> 00:12:57.240
  • - Well, if your prayers are that potent
  • 00:12:57.240 --> 00:13:00.220
  • and that powerful, why haven't you prayed about
  • 00:13:00.220 --> 00:13:04.290
  • not doing what you do to get on my nerves?
  • 00:13:04.290 --> 00:13:08.070
  • - Because
  • 00:13:08.070 --> 00:13:09.100
  • - We coulda reversed this two ways.
  • 00:13:09.100 --> 00:13:10.090
  • - Totally.
  • 00:13:10.090 --> 00:13:11.200
  • - God change his heart, no,
  • 00:13:11.200 --> 00:13:14.050
  • you pray about your own heart so that
  • 00:13:14.050 --> 00:13:19.050
  • you won't do the things you do
  • 00:13:19.140 --> 00:13:21.290
  • that were getting on my nerves.
  • 00:13:21.290 --> 00:13:23.210
  • - No, but it's not necessarily things that I was doing
  • 00:13:23.210 --> 00:13:26.220
  • that was getting on your nerves
  • 00:13:26.220 --> 00:13:28.090
  • it was the things that you expect to be done.
  • 00:13:28.090 --> 00:13:30.230
  • - And allowed.
  • 00:13:30.230 --> 00:13:31.190
  • - And allowed.
  • 00:13:31.190 --> 00:13:32.220
  • - Yeah
  • 00:13:32.220 --> 00:13:34.030
  • Because, just because somebody put the toothpaste
  • 00:13:34.030 --> 00:13:36.020
  • in a different spot doesn't mean that it was wrong
  • 00:13:36.020 --> 00:13:40.090
  • it was just that it irritated you
  • 00:13:40.090 --> 00:13:41.280
  • because that's not what you're accustomed too.
  • 00:13:41.280 --> 00:13:43.180
  • - And it's not my spot.
  • 00:13:43.180 --> 00:13:44.240
  • - And it's not your spot.
  • 00:13:44.240 --> 00:13:45.290
  • - Right.
  • 00:13:45.290 --> 00:13:47.040
  • - And so that's the whole pride thing
  • 00:13:47.040 --> 00:13:48.090
  • so it's like, OK, God let me just pray
  • 00:13:48.090 --> 00:13:50.280
  • that we can come together and get along
  • 00:13:50.280 --> 00:13:53.060
  • and have some type of agreement.
  • 00:13:53.060 --> 00:13:55.260
  • - And all you had to do was pray
  • 00:13:55.260 --> 00:13:58.050
  • for God to remind you to put the toothpaste in my spot.
  • 00:13:58.050 --> 00:14:00.220
  • - (laughing)
  • 00:14:00.220 --> 00:14:01.170
  • - (laughing)
  • 00:14:01.170 --> 00:14:02.290
  • - Well I don't know what got you there,
  • 00:14:02.290 --> 00:14:05.000
  • but I thank God that you're there.
  • 00:14:05.000 --> 00:14:07.010
  • - I am here.
  • 00:14:07.010 --> 00:14:07.290
  • - And you too can get there.
  • 00:14:07.290 --> 00:14:09.270
  • - Yeah, however you get there
  • 00:14:09.270 --> 00:14:11.090
  • whether you're praying about a situation
  • 00:14:11.090 --> 00:14:13.230
  • that your husband is doing
  • 00:14:13.230 --> 00:14:15.240
  • or you're praying about a situation for yourself.
  • 00:14:15.240 --> 00:14:19.170
  • Just like she mentioned, prayer will assist you
  • 00:14:19.170 --> 00:14:24.050
  • in changing everything you need to have changed.
  • 00:14:24.050 --> 00:14:27.180
  • It's just amazing and your lives will never be the same.
  • 00:14:27.180 --> 00:14:31.010
  • - It takes the struggle out.
  • 00:14:31.010 --> 00:14:32.270
  • - That's how marriage is made easy.
  • 00:14:32.270 --> 00:14:34.180
  • You gotta get our book too, it'll bless your life.
  • 00:14:34.180 --> 00:14:36.190
  • Amen.
  • 00:14:36.190 --> 00:14:36.270
  • this will register or resonate
  • 00:14:40.190 --> 00:14:44.180
  • in your spirit, in your soul
  • 00:14:44.180 --> 00:14:47.140
  • when it's time for you to exercise
  • 00:14:47.140 --> 00:14:51.040
  • or to execute this particular principle of denying yourself.
  • 00:14:51.040 --> 00:14:55.000
  • And when you are about to go
  • 00:14:55.000 --> 00:14:59.050
  • contrary to what Jesus said "What's the prerequisite
  • 00:14:59.050 --> 00:15:03.110
  • "of following Him?"
  • 00:15:03.110 --> 00:15:05.020
  • You will hear inwardly "Kill yourself."
  • 00:15:05.020 --> 00:15:08.230
  • - [DeeDee] Mmm hmm, mmm hmm.
  • 00:15:08.230 --> 00:15:12.080
  • - Look at your neighbor and say
  • 00:15:15.060 --> 00:15:16.120
  • you seem suicidal anyway sometimes.
  • 00:15:16.120 --> 00:15:18.260
  • (congregation laughs)
  • 00:15:18.260 --> 00:15:20.230
  • Now that may be a very serious
  • 00:15:22.120 --> 00:15:25.110
  • connotation.
  • 00:15:28.030 --> 00:15:29.150
  • I don't mean to
  • 00:15:29.250 --> 00:15:32.010
  • connote or denote something negative that is
  • 00:15:33.160 --> 00:15:38.160
  • a potential reality in your life.
  • 00:15:38.210 --> 00:15:42.250
  • You understand what I'm saying.
  • 00:15:44.120 --> 00:15:45.260
  • Because there are some who are in the Body of Christ
  • 00:15:46.050 --> 00:15:50.020
  • who are unfortunately
  • 00:15:50.020 --> 00:15:53.160
  • potentially suicidal.
  • 00:15:53.290 --> 00:15:56.020
  • But in order to
  • 00:15:57.040 --> 00:15:59.170
  • be suicidal or the processes
  • 00:16:02.020 --> 00:16:05.170
  • in being suicidal,
  • 00:16:05.170 --> 00:16:08.130
  • is the whole process that the apostle Paul
  • 00:16:08.130 --> 00:16:13.110
  • mentioned through the scriptures about dying daily.
  • 00:16:13.110 --> 00:16:17.150
  • Now here's what I discovered.
  • 00:16:21.220 --> 00:16:24.270
  • And here's the linking ingredient to a successful marriage
  • 00:16:24.270 --> 00:16:29.200
  • as it relates to
  • 00:16:29.200 --> 00:16:32.040
  • this principle of killing yourself.
  • 00:16:32.200 --> 00:16:35.040
  • Because what I've discovered,
  • 00:16:35.040 --> 00:16:37.160
  • that in marriage,
  • 00:16:38.160 --> 00:16:40.070
  • if you don't seek your way, you will be successful.
  • 00:16:40.070 --> 00:16:44.210
  • - That's good, that's the truth.
  • 00:16:46.090 --> 00:16:49.160
  • - Jesus. - [DeeDee] That's the truth.
  • 00:16:49.160 --> 00:16:51.030
  • - If you don't seek for your own way in marriage
  • 00:16:51.030 --> 00:16:54.250
  • you will be successful.
  • 00:16:54.250 --> 00:16:56.260
  • - But that doesn't even sound right.
  • 00:16:57.260 --> 00:16:59.240
  • - I know.
  • 00:16:59.240 --> 00:17:00.240
  • - It doesn't even sound right.
  • 00:17:00.240 --> 00:17:01.290
  • How many of y'all already know
  • 00:17:01.290 --> 00:17:02.270
  • that doesn't even sound right?
  • 00:17:02.270 --> 00:17:04.100
  • It doesn't does it?
  • 00:17:04.100 --> 00:17:05.140
  • Come on tell the truth.
  • 00:17:05.140 --> 00:17:06.260
  • You know it doesn't sound right.
  • 00:17:06.260 --> 00:17:08.200
  • We all wanna seek our way.
  • 00:17:09.050 --> 00:17:11.030
  • - And there's a perception that this principle
  • 00:17:12.060 --> 00:17:16.100
  • puts you at the short end of the stick.
  • 00:17:16.180 --> 00:17:19.110
  • Like there are no benefits towards
  • 00:17:19.110 --> 00:17:22.230
  • your not putting up for yourself.
  • 00:17:22.230 --> 00:17:24.270
  • Because there are some SPS's.
  • 00:17:24.270 --> 00:17:27.030
  • There are some self preservation statements,
  • 00:17:27.030 --> 00:17:30.050
  • that we become accustomed to in our society.
  • 00:17:31.090 --> 00:17:35.210
  • Like okay, you finish this.
  • 00:17:35.210 --> 00:17:38.020
  • If you don't look out for yourself.
  • 00:17:39.060 --> 00:17:41.110
  • (congregation responds)
  • 00:17:41.110 --> 00:17:43.230
  • How do you all know that?
  • 00:17:45.190 --> 00:17:47.090
  • And so unconsciously
  • 00:17:49.110 --> 00:17:53.040
  • you are in a marriage
  • 00:17:53.040 --> 00:17:54.260
  • where you are now fighting for
  • 00:17:54.260 --> 00:17:58.090
  • a postural position
  • 00:17:58.090 --> 00:18:00.180
  • that creates now this self preservation mode.
  • 00:18:00.270 --> 00:18:05.200
  • That is going to protect you because
  • 00:18:06.180 --> 00:18:09.180
  • most people in marriage when they get fed up
  • 00:18:10.100 --> 00:18:13.110
  • will say "I gotta look out for myself."
  • 00:18:13.110 --> 00:18:16.240
  • Jesus it's getting tight in here.
  • 00:18:18.120 --> 00:18:20.270
  • Look at your neighbor and say it's gonna get tight
  • 00:18:20.270 --> 00:18:22.280
  • but it's gonna loosen up.
  • 00:18:22.280 --> 00:18:24.110
  • It's gonna get tight again,
  • 00:18:24.110 --> 00:18:26.020
  • but we gonna be better when we leave.
  • 00:18:26.020 --> 00:18:27.210
  • Tell em tell em.
  • 00:18:27.210 --> 00:18:28.260
  • - So I have a question.
  • 00:18:29.210 --> 00:18:31.060
  • - I gotta take care of me.
  • 00:18:31.060 --> 00:18:32.120
  • - I gotta take care of me.
  • 00:18:32.120 --> 00:18:33.130
  • - I just gotta take care of me.
  • 00:18:33.130 --> 00:18:35.060
  • 'Cause if you haul off and leave me.
  • 00:18:35.200 --> 00:18:38.200
  • - This is good.
  • 00:18:39.200 --> 00:18:41.000
  • So really--
  • 00:18:41.000 --> 00:18:41.250
  • - I know this is good.
  • 00:18:41.250 --> 00:18:43.130
  • I know this is good by the spirit of God.
  • 00:18:43.130 --> 00:18:46.070
  • And guess what?
  • 00:18:46.070 --> 00:18:47.120
  • I wish I would've gotten this like
  • 00:18:47.120 --> 00:18:50.120
  • 11.025 days ago.
  • 00:18:50.120 --> 00:18:53.160
  • (congregation applauds)
  • 00:18:53.160 --> 00:18:56.180
  • Because I've been married for 11.024 days.
  • 00:19:00.030 --> 00:19:04.100
  • And if I would of gotten this at 11.025 days ago
  • 00:19:04.180 --> 00:19:09.020
  • I would of been prepared for marriage.
  • 00:19:09.020 --> 00:19:11.030
  • And we wouldn't have had that mess
  • 00:19:11.030 --> 00:19:13.050
  • that we had because I've been fighting
  • 00:19:13.050 --> 00:19:15.150
  • for a position on my own to make you,
  • 00:19:15.150 --> 00:19:19.040
  • to put you in submission to what I wanted
  • 00:19:19.270 --> 00:19:23.040
  • in the relationship.
  • 00:19:23.040 --> 00:19:24.170
  • But the whole principle about killing myself
  • 00:19:24.170 --> 00:19:27.190
  • would have gotten that accomplished without
  • 00:19:27.190 --> 00:19:29.220
  • my lifting my voice.
  • 00:19:29.220 --> 00:19:31.280
  • Come on, say something.
  • 00:19:36.260 --> 00:19:38.040
  • - It's good, I have a question.
  • 00:19:39.000 --> 00:19:40.180
  • - Question.
  • 00:19:40.180 --> 00:19:42.000
  • - So basically, if we could go back and look at
  • 00:19:42.000 --> 00:19:46.020
  • the root of most divorce,
  • 00:19:46.140 --> 00:19:49.150
  • it wouldn't be marriage.
  • 00:19:49.260 --> 00:19:52.190
  • I mean it wouldn't be money, sex, and communication.
  • 00:19:52.190 --> 00:19:56.110
  • - I've been looking into that.
  • 00:19:56.280 --> 00:19:58.180
  • I've been looking into that very extensively
  • 00:19:59.110 --> 00:20:02.160
  • because even with money, sex, and communication,
  • 00:20:02.160 --> 00:20:06.150
  • somebody wanted their way in those three.
  • 00:20:06.150 --> 00:20:09.260
  • And because somebody didn't get their way,
  • 00:20:12.130 --> 00:20:14.270
  • the sex, the money, and communication,
  • 00:20:14.270 --> 00:20:17.120
  • just happened to be the thing that was used
  • 00:20:17.120 --> 00:20:20.180
  • to trigger the lack of participation
  • 00:20:20.180 --> 00:20:24.120
  • of this principle in the relationship.
  • 00:20:24.120 --> 00:20:26.240
  • - You know, because there's this thing
  • 00:20:27.130 --> 00:20:29.180
  • that I've noticed that it's not the object
  • 00:20:29.180 --> 00:20:33.150
  • of what has happened, - [Pastor] Absolutely.
  • 00:20:33.150 --> 00:20:35.220
  • - [DeeDee] that has caused, - [Pastor] Absolutely.
  • 00:20:35.220 --> 00:20:38.000
  • - [DeeDee] the pain, the hurt, - [Pastor] The breakdown.
  • 00:20:38.000 --> 00:20:39.140
  • - [DeeDee] the breakdown. - [Pastor] Absolutely.
  • 00:20:39.140 --> 00:20:40.130
  • - [Pastor] Absolutely.
  • 00:20:40.130 --> 00:20:41.260
  • - It's our perception of the thing that has happened.
  • 00:20:41.260 --> 00:20:43.290
  • How we think of it, how we see it,
  • 00:20:43.290 --> 00:20:46.030
  • how we perceive it.
  • 00:20:46.030 --> 00:20:47.180
  • Because how we look at it and how we see it all the time
  • 00:20:47.180 --> 00:20:50.180
  • doesn't necessarily mean that's how it is.
  • 00:20:50.180 --> 00:20:53.100
  • - Absolutely.
  • 00:20:56.200 --> 00:20:57.270
  • - You was gonna say something about Jesus.
  • 00:21:00.100 --> 00:21:02.060
  • - I got 10.000 thoughts going on right now.
  • 00:21:04.170 --> 00:21:08.090
  • Stick a pin in what Jesus wanted to say,
  • 00:21:11.040 --> 00:21:15.250
  • that I was gonna say that Jesus said.
  • 00:21:16.120 --> 00:21:18.000
  • - Okay.
  • 00:21:18.000 --> 00:21:18.280
  • - It is the inability
  • 00:21:21.060 --> 00:21:23.110
  • to deny yourself
  • 00:21:27.070 --> 00:21:28.190
  • of the feelings that you have when something occurs.
  • 00:21:28.190 --> 00:21:32.060
  • Which is literally
  • 00:21:35.120 --> 00:21:39.000
  • fueled by pride.
  • 00:21:39.000 --> 00:21:41.170
  • It's fueled by pride.
  • 00:21:42.100 --> 00:21:43.160
  • You gotta put all of the linking ingredients
  • 00:21:43.160 --> 00:21:48.120
  • to the inability to kill yourself.
  • 00:21:48.260 --> 00:21:51.240
  • Because being suicidal takes a process.
  • 00:21:52.010 --> 00:21:56.000
  • And you gotta go through this litany of thoughts
  • 00:21:56.000 --> 00:22:00.180
  • of processes to get to the place
  • 00:22:01.010 --> 00:22:03.280
  • of literally pulling the trigger.
  • 00:22:03.280 --> 00:22:06.040
  • "So nobody cares for me."
  • 00:22:06.040 --> 00:22:09.160
  • What are some of the other thoughts?
  • 00:22:11.180 --> 00:22:13.110
  • - Just the whole thing.
  • 00:22:15.150 --> 00:22:16.190
  • Rejection, yeah. - [Pastor] Hopelessness,
  • 00:22:16.190 --> 00:22:18.010
  • - [Pastor] Rejection. - [DeeDee] Rejection.
  • 00:22:18.010 --> 00:22:19.140
  • - [Pastor] You go through a litany of those things
  • 00:22:19.140 --> 00:22:20.280
  • in considering that process.
  • 00:22:21.120 --> 00:22:23.140
  • I'm telling you that the denying of yourself principal
  • 00:22:23.140 --> 00:22:27.170
  • the kill yourself principle.
  • 00:22:27.170 --> 00:22:29.040
  • It is the same process that you have to go through
  • 00:22:29.040 --> 00:22:32.030
  • to move you out of the way.
  • 00:22:32.030 --> 00:22:34.060
  • Now what happens in that,
  • 00:22:34.060 --> 00:22:36.210
  • selfishness becomes supreme.
  • 00:22:36.210 --> 00:22:39.250
  • And selfishness is not living as one...
  • 00:22:41.110 --> 00:22:46.050
  • How did I state that sweetie?
  • 00:22:51.000 --> 00:22:52.200
  • Selfishness is not living as one.
  • 00:22:54.070 --> 00:22:57.210
  • Selfishness is not living as one which is to live,
  • 00:23:02.170 --> 00:23:07.060
  • it is asking others to live as one which is
  • 00:23:07.190 --> 00:23:11.050
  • for them to live.
  • 00:23:11.050 --> 00:23:13.010
  • In other words,
  • 00:23:14.120 --> 00:23:15.250
  • I want you to do everything for me.
  • 00:23:16.250 --> 00:23:20.030
  • I want your world to step into my world
  • 00:23:22.200 --> 00:23:27.000
  • and become what I want you to become,
  • 00:23:27.000 --> 00:23:30.160
  • opposed to denying yourself
  • 00:23:30.160 --> 00:23:32.270
  • and not fighting for what you want.
  • 00:23:32.270 --> 00:23:35.160
  • Now, to resist that feeling is a big deal.
  • 00:23:35.160 --> 00:23:39.290
  • Now we move into big girl and big boy panties.
  • 00:23:39.290 --> 00:23:44.270
  • I guess boys don't wear panties.
  • 00:23:45.140 --> 00:23:47.080
  • Drawers.
  • 00:23:47.190 --> 00:23:48.180
  • Big boys wear drawers right?
  • 00:23:49.290 --> 00:23:51.190
  • Y'all wear drawers?
  • 00:23:52.010 --> 00:23:53.050
  • Or do you go commando?
  • 00:23:53.140 --> 00:23:55.060
  • - Too much TV.
  • 00:23:56.210 --> 00:23:57.240
  • - That's what I'm talking about.
  • 00:23:57.240 --> 00:23:59.000
  • Pardon the drawers, pardon the panties.
  • 00:24:03.030 --> 00:24:05.120
  • I wanna share where we all live.
  • 00:24:06.030 --> 00:24:08.100
  • It's putting on another
  • 00:24:09.240 --> 00:24:12.160
  • disposition because
  • 00:24:12.160 --> 00:24:15.050
  • the entire system our society
  • 00:24:17.000 --> 00:24:20.100
  • has been set up for us to take care of ourselves.
  • 00:24:20.100 --> 00:24:24.220
  • Because nobody else will.
  • 00:24:24.220 --> 00:24:27.120
  • - But that's the whole flesh.
  • 00:24:27.250 --> 00:24:29.290
  • That's what the flesh is. - [Pastor] Oh man.
  • 00:24:29.290 --> 00:24:31.080
  • - [DeeDee] The flesh wants to be satisfied,
  • 00:24:31.080 --> 00:24:33.140
  • and our spirit man wants to satisfy.
  • 00:24:33.140 --> 00:24:35.280
  • - And so what's so powerful,
  • 00:24:35.280 --> 00:24:37.140
  • here is what God shared with me.
  • 00:24:37.140 --> 00:24:39.250
  • It was almost like the challenge
  • 00:24:40.120 --> 00:24:43.210
  • with Job in chapter 38.
  • 00:24:43.210 --> 00:24:45.210
  • I believe it's 38 in Job.
  • 00:24:45.210 --> 00:24:47.270
  • You preachers should know.
  • 00:24:47.270 --> 00:24:49.110
  • Where God said "Where were you."
  • 00:24:49.110 --> 00:24:51.170
  • Is that 38?
  • 00:24:52.060 --> 00:24:53.200
  • He said "Where were you when I put all of this in place?"
  • 00:24:54.000 --> 00:24:56.230
  • So the Lord asked me "Who took care of you
  • 00:24:56.230 --> 00:25:00.250
  • "for the five weeks you didn't know you were dead or alive?"
  • 00:25:00.250 --> 00:25:04.100
  • Five weeks I laid in one spot.
  • 00:25:07.100 --> 00:25:09.270
  • I actually have the mark of a bed sore
  • 00:25:09.270 --> 00:25:14.120
  • that they could not risk moving my head
  • 00:25:14.120 --> 00:25:17.120
  • out of that position because of the hoses
  • 00:25:17.120 --> 00:25:20.080
  • that was in my neck that was attached.
  • 00:25:20.080 --> 00:25:22.190
  • Sophia you can explain that a little bit.
  • 00:25:22.190 --> 00:25:24.200
  • I had a tube going in my neck that went where?
  • 00:25:24.200 --> 00:25:28.120
  • Down into my vein into my heart.
  • 00:25:30.250 --> 00:25:33.210
  • That was to get blood out of my system.
  • 00:25:34.010 --> 00:25:38.280
  • - [DeeDee] It gave your lungs a rest.
  • 00:25:39.270 --> 00:25:41.210
  • It oxygenated your lungs.
  • 00:25:41.210 --> 00:25:43.170
  • - [Pastor] So the machine took the place of my lungs
  • 00:25:43.170 --> 00:25:46.050
  • and my heart.
  • 00:25:46.210 --> 00:25:48.010
  • So my heart didn't operate for five weeks?
  • 00:25:49.050 --> 00:25:52.010
  • It was working.
  • 00:25:52.290 --> 00:25:54.000
  • - [DeeDee] Yeah it worked.
  • 00:25:54.050 --> 00:25:55.110
  • - [Pastor] But it was working small.
  • 00:25:55.110 --> 00:25:57.010
  • That is so cool.
  • 00:25:57.120 --> 00:25:58.210
  • That's not cool, but it's cool.
  • 00:25:59.120 --> 00:26:03.260
  • How many of y'all know it's cool.
  • 00:26:04.150 --> 00:26:05.190
  • If your heart ain't working they got
  • 00:26:05.190 --> 00:26:06.220
  • something to work your heart.
  • 00:26:06.220 --> 00:26:08.150
  • Okay whatever.
  • 00:26:09.170 --> 00:26:10.230
  • My point is, is God said to me,
  • 00:26:11.190 --> 00:26:14.140
  • "Who took care of you for those five weeks?"
  • 00:26:14.140 --> 00:26:18.290
  • Make marriage easy.
  • 00:26:22.260 --> 00:26:23.090
  • - [Voiceover] Thank you for viewing Marriage Made Easy.
  • 00:26:24.020 --> 00:26:25.210
  • If you would like to obtain a copy of today's lesson
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  • - All right, your next counseling session
  • 00:26:36.040 --> 00:26:37.250
  • will be on communication.
  • 00:26:37.250 --> 00:26:37.260
  • Oh man. - [DeeDee] That's good.
  • 00:26:38.260 --> 00:26:39.160
  • - [Pastor] This is moving beyond just marriage.
  • 00:26:39.280 --> 00:26:41.120
  • But I'm trying to show you how God
  • 00:26:41.120 --> 00:26:44.010
  • wants to take care of every area of your life.
  • 00:26:44.010 --> 00:26:48.100
  • You better come here.
  • 00:26:48.100 --> 00:26:49.180
  • And some of your blood pressures are driving
  • 00:26:49.180 --> 00:26:51.250
  • through the ceiling because you have not denied yourself.
  • 00:26:51.250 --> 00:26:56.060
  • But tonight.
  • 00:26:59.250 --> 00:27:01.040
  • I said but tonight.
  • 00:27:01.230 --> 00:27:03.260
  • I said but tonight.
  • 00:27:04.040 --> 00:27:05.190
  • Turn to your neighbor and say you're gonna kill yourself.
  • 00:27:05.190 --> 00:27:07.140
  • - [DeeDee and Congregation] You're gonna kill yourself.
  • 00:27:07.140 --> 00:27:09.230
  • - [Voiceover] We would love for you
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  • to become a partner of purpose with us today.
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  • When you join, you will have the opportunity
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  • to make your marriage easy
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  • while helping thousands of marriages
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  • around the world at the same time.
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