Marriage Made EZ: The Donnie and Pam Simpson Story Part 2 | TBN

Marriage Made EZ: The Donnie and Pam Simpson Story Part 2

Watch Marriage Made EZ: The Donnie and Pam Simpson Story Part 2
September 7, 2017
28:15

Living by Faith with Mike & DeeDee Freeman

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Marriage Made EZ: The Donnie and Pam Simpson Story Part 2

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  • - Ladies and Gentleman, I believe
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  • it's a greater sin to not get back up and fight again.
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  • That's what God wants you to do.
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  • When you fall, he says rise up and go forward.
  • 00:00:12.080 --> 00:00:15.240
  • (clapping)
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  • - We don't just survive things,
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  • we overcome in every area of our lives.
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  • - God has some design the human mechanism,
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  • the spirit, soul, and body
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  • that your life begins to move in the direction
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  • of what you see.
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  • - You got to visualize.
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  • You gotta verbalize.
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  • You gotta internalize until it materializes.
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  • - If you see health, your body will move in that direction.
  • 00:00:46.280 --> 00:00:51.240
  • - Whew.
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  • They don't even know they got a good base.
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  • As a matter of fact, the scripture says,
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  • and have found favor when you identify your base.
  • 00:01:03.030 --> 00:01:07.050
  • - Yeah, wow.
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  • Wow.
  • 00:01:09.210 --> 00:01:10.220
  • Yeah, man.
  • 00:01:10.220 --> 00:01:11.210
  • Well, she is that.
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  • She is my rock, man.
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  • She's always been with me.
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  • As LL Cool J said, my "around the way girl."
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  • My ride or die.
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  • I know where she stands.
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  • I can count on that, man,
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  • for the rest of my life.
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  • I love her.
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  • I was telling a friend this just two days ago.
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  • I don't mean to dominate this, I'm sorry.
  • 00:02:05.170 --> 00:02:08.070
  • I was talking to Terry Lewis,
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  • Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis.
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  • And I was telling them--
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  • - I name drop, too.
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  • - Yeah, that's cool.
  • 00:02:13.210 --> 00:02:14.160
  • Yeah, yeah.
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  • - [Mike] Always dropping names.
  • 00:02:16.100 --> 00:02:17.110
  • - But I was telling Terry
  • 00:02:17.110 --> 00:02:18.260
  • that it's almost like I love her more now than I ever did.
  • 00:02:18.260 --> 00:02:23.120
  • It's like it's just growing.
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  • To see this woman who was...
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  • This person who was my high school sweetheart
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  • now in the role of grandmother,
  • 00:02:31.200 --> 00:02:34.120
  • it's just cool to see that much of someone's life.
  • 00:02:34.120 --> 00:02:37.110
  • And she's so good at it,
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  • and still just the cool person that I met 47 years ago.
  • 00:02:39.170 --> 00:02:44.040
  • - And that's the way at one point in time
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  • you talked about her on the radio.
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  • Her, your family, and then all of the sudden
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  • one day that just kinda stopped.
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  • And we didn't know, in fact,
  • 00:02:55.280 --> 00:02:58.080
  • that there had been some type of breakdown--
  • 00:02:59.220 --> 00:03:03.240
  • - You get into all of it, don't you?
  • 00:03:03.240 --> 00:03:05.150
  • - [Mike] Yeah, man!
  • 00:03:05.150 --> 00:03:07.120
  • - See, that's what you do.
  • 00:03:07.120 --> 00:03:08.250
  • - There was some kind of breakdown of the relationship.
  • 00:03:08.250 --> 00:03:12.120
  • - Smooth about it, too, y'all.
  • 00:03:12.120 --> 00:03:14.250
  • - No, I mean,
  • 00:03:14.250 --> 00:03:15.250
  • because you'll be amazed,
  • 00:03:15.250 --> 00:03:17.280
  • Donnie and Pam, how much you are going,
  • 00:03:19.280 --> 00:03:22.150
  • I already know.
  • 00:03:22.150 --> 00:03:23.230
  • I already know how much you
  • 00:03:24.230 --> 00:03:27.100
  • are going to bless couples in this room tonight.
  • 00:03:27.100 --> 00:03:31.190
  • I already know.
  • 00:03:31.190 --> 00:03:33.120
  • Already know that your story, your testimony,
  • 00:03:33.120 --> 00:03:37.040
  • is going to help heal some wounds
  • 00:03:37.040 --> 00:03:40.070
  • that have been given in a relationship
  • 00:03:40.070 --> 00:03:43.120
  • and now people are trying to restore.
  • 00:03:45.140 --> 00:03:47.170
  • Had a lot of growing to do.
  • 00:03:47.170 --> 00:03:48.220
  • We were married for 19 years,
  • 00:03:48.220 --> 00:03:50.190
  • and then we just started drifting apart,
  • 00:03:50.190 --> 00:03:52.110
  • like a lot of couples do.
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  • - After 19 years?
  • 00:03:53.280 --> 00:03:55.040
  • - Yeah, we were married for 19 years,
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  • and we had the two kids.
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  • They were teenagers at the time,
  • 00:03:57.210 --> 00:03:59.110
  • which was also a difficult thing,
  • 00:03:59.110 --> 00:04:02.040
  • you know, to have teenage kids and start going through that.
  • 00:04:02.040 --> 00:04:04.260
  • But I just felt like we needed a break.
  • 00:04:04.260 --> 00:04:08.060
  • We both had some growing to do,
  • 00:04:08.060 --> 00:04:09.250
  • and you know, just some things to figure out.
  • 00:04:09.250 --> 00:04:12.230
  • And we separated for three and a half years.
  • 00:04:12.230 --> 00:04:15.110
  • - You felt like you needed a break?
  • 00:04:15.110 --> 00:04:17.140
  • - [Pam] I think we both needed a break.
  • 00:04:17.140 --> 00:04:19.290
  • - But you felt like you needed a break.
  • 00:04:19.290 --> 00:04:22.070
  • - Well, things started happening,
  • 00:04:22.250 --> 00:04:24.060
  • and I'm like, this is not working.
  • 00:04:24.060 --> 00:04:26.150
  • - [Mike] Donnie, she quit you, man?
  • 00:04:26.150 --> 00:04:27.270
  • - No, it was a--
  • 00:04:27.270 --> 00:04:29.110
  • - You the GOAT!
  • 00:04:29.110 --> 00:04:30.180
  • - And that probably was the problem,
  • 00:04:32.030 --> 00:04:33.190
  • but that was really good.
  • 00:04:33.190 --> 00:04:35.190
  • (laughs)
  • 00:04:35.190 --> 00:04:37.220
  • No, no.
  • 00:04:38.180 --> 00:04:39.130
  • - You said that that was probably the problem.
  • 00:04:41.080 --> 00:04:43.020
  • - Uh-huh.
  • 00:04:43.020 --> 00:04:44.190
  • - The GOAT ain't always the GOAT in my house, okay?
  • 00:04:44.190 --> 00:04:47.040
  • - I know that, I know that.
  • 00:04:47.040 --> 00:04:48.120
  • - Yeah, and that's a nugget right there.
  • 00:04:48.120 --> 00:04:49.230
  • Please let me jump on that nugget.
  • 00:04:49.230 --> 00:04:50.220
  • - Uh-uh, uh-uh.
  • 00:04:50.220 --> 00:04:52.040
  • - You didn't let her--
  • 00:04:52.040 --> 00:04:53.040
  • - [Mike] Okay, alright, alright.
  • 00:04:53.040 --> 00:04:55.010
  • - DeeDee. - Thank you.
  • 00:04:55.010 --> 00:04:56.180
  • - If I knew you were become the referee, Pam, I would...
  • 00:04:56.180 --> 00:04:59.140
  • - Nope, that's good.
  • 00:04:59.140 --> 00:04:59.220
  • (intense music)
  • 00:05:01.060 --> 00:05:03.260
  • - I would say, you don't end it.
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  • I've been married for it'll be five years in September,
  • 00:05:11.250 --> 00:05:14.060
  • October I'm sorry, and I've been with my wife
  • 00:05:14.060 --> 00:05:17.150
  • for nine years total.
  • 00:05:17.150 --> 00:05:19.120
  • But I think you have to find a way,
  • 00:05:19.120 --> 00:05:22.010
  • you have to make a way.
  • 00:05:22.010 --> 00:05:23.120
  • - But I think you would call it quits
  • 00:05:23.120 --> 00:05:24.250
  • when there's no other way out.
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  • - You have to make a way.
  • 00:05:26.110 --> 00:05:27.200
  • - There's no other way available to you.
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  • You wanna change something and
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  • your partner isn't willing to work on it.
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  • And it's intolerable to you.
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  • That's really the only time.
  • 00:05:38.110 --> 00:05:41.000
  • - Actually I feel probably never
  • 00:05:41.000 --> 00:05:43.270
  • because you've made a commitment to your spouse and God
  • 00:05:43.270 --> 00:05:47.030
  • and that you work everything out.
  • 00:05:47.030 --> 00:05:49.030
  • But I think if you have someone that's possibly gay
  • 00:05:49.030 --> 00:05:53.080
  • in a marriage.
  • 00:05:54.270 --> 00:05:56.130
  • - I would call it quits when it doesn't seem like
  • 00:05:56.130 --> 00:05:59.130
  • either party, one party or the other,
  • 00:05:59.130 --> 00:06:01.120
  • doesn't wanna work on it anymore regardless of
  • 00:06:01.120 --> 00:06:03.180
  • whatever the issue may be.
  • 00:06:03.180 --> 00:06:05.020
  • - When neither person is happy anymore,
  • 00:06:05.020 --> 00:06:07.240
  • when you don't enjoy being together, when,
  • 00:06:07.240 --> 00:06:11.090
  • when I don't know, when you
  • 00:06:14.250 --> 00:06:17.100
  • you argue or you can't seem to find,
  • 00:06:17.100 --> 00:06:20.100
  • you can't be, you're not happy together,
  • 00:06:23.120 --> 00:06:25.070
  • then that's when you should call it quits.
  • 00:06:25.070 --> 00:06:27.290
  • - Or if you find someone that is you know
  • 00:06:27.290 --> 00:06:30.120
  • definitely messing around constantly
  • 00:06:30.120 --> 00:06:33.240
  • after you've sought counseling and you know
  • 00:06:33.240 --> 00:06:36.230
  • stuff from your minister
  • 00:06:36.230 --> 00:06:38.030
  • because I've you know been through that.
  • 00:06:38.030 --> 00:06:39.290
  • So I think you know those are the two things
  • 00:06:39.290 --> 00:06:42.040
  • that I would say you know to call it quits on.
  • 00:06:42.040 --> 00:06:45.050
  • - If you say til death do us part,
  • 00:06:45.050 --> 00:06:47.090
  • the easy way is just to walk away,
  • 00:06:47.090 --> 00:06:49.010
  • but the challenge of marriage is
  • 00:06:49.010 --> 00:06:51.000
  • making that compromise and meeting each other halfway.
  • 00:06:51.000 --> 00:06:54.100
  • So I think ending a marriage is the easy way out
  • 00:06:54.100 --> 00:06:57.050
  • rather than fixing it,
  • 00:06:57.050 --> 00:06:59.000
  • reconciling the marriage.
  • 00:07:00.070 --> 00:07:02.090
  • And I think it's really up to the man
  • 00:07:02.090 --> 00:07:04.240
  • because the man's supposed to be the head of the household
  • 00:07:04.240 --> 00:07:07.030
  • so from a Biblical perspective,
  • 00:07:07.030 --> 00:07:09.110
  • I would say no because the man should be the one
  • 00:07:09.110 --> 00:07:12.240
  • that should anchor the relationship.
  • 00:07:12.240 --> 00:07:15.070
  • (intense music)
  • 00:07:15.070 --> 00:07:17.270
  • about the drift, how you can drift.
  • 00:07:20.280 --> 00:07:21.170
  • I've shared these things in here before about,
  • 00:07:21.270 --> 00:07:24.010
  • you know, there's what we consider a healthy drift,
  • 00:07:24.010 --> 00:07:27.050
  • meaning that it's not like you just...
  • 00:07:27.050 --> 00:07:30.250
  • Separate and get away from each other.
  • 00:07:30.250 --> 00:07:32.230
  • But it's a slow, anytime something is a drift, it's subtle.
  • 00:07:32.230 --> 00:07:36.150
  • It's like...
  • 00:07:36.150 --> 00:07:37.150
  • It goes under the radar.
  • 00:07:38.230 --> 00:07:40.210
  • Sometimes you don't even recognize it.
  • 00:07:40.210 --> 00:07:43.000
  • It's really one of the most dangerous things
  • 00:07:43.000 --> 00:07:45.060
  • that can happen in a relationship,
  • 00:07:45.060 --> 00:07:47.040
  • because it appears to be healthy.
  • 00:07:47.040 --> 00:07:49.070
  • When other people are around you,
  • 00:07:49.070 --> 00:07:50.280
  • they will look at you and say,
  • 00:07:50.280 --> 00:07:52.060
  • oh wow, they got a good relationship!
  • 00:07:52.060 --> 00:07:54.200
  • And so then when you separate, it shocks people.
  • 00:07:54.200 --> 00:07:58.080
  • Have you ever noticed anybody or know anyone
  • 00:07:58.080 --> 00:08:00.080
  • that's gone through that?
  • 00:08:00.080 --> 00:08:01.080
  • And you be like, what?
  • 00:08:01.080 --> 00:08:02.210
  • What happened?
  • 00:08:02.210 --> 00:08:04.060
  • They didn't even realize that they were separated.
  • 00:08:04.060 --> 00:08:06.210
  • Because just about...
  • 00:08:06.210 --> 00:08:08.200
  • Statistics say that most relationships,
  • 00:08:08.200 --> 00:08:10.270
  • well really, it says all,
  • 00:08:10.270 --> 00:08:12.050
  • but I would choose to disagree with this part,
  • 00:08:12.050 --> 00:08:15.060
  • that all relationships
  • 00:08:15.060 --> 00:08:16.140
  • go through some type of dissatisfaction
  • 00:08:16.140 --> 00:08:19.080
  • because they haven't surveyed everybody,
  • 00:08:19.080 --> 00:08:21.090
  • so there's no way to just make that a blanket statement.
  • 00:08:21.090 --> 00:08:24.120
  • But dissatisfaction will occur in some relationships,
  • 00:08:24.120 --> 00:08:28.150
  • and if you don't deal with that, you will get to the place
  • 00:08:28.150 --> 00:08:31.100
  • where you'll say,
  • 00:08:31.100 --> 00:08:32.110
  • you know, I need a break.
  • 00:08:32.110 --> 00:08:34.260
  • I need to separate because you have separated really
  • 00:08:34.260 --> 00:08:38.090
  • in your heart the whole time.
  • 00:08:38.090 --> 00:08:41.040
  • - You're together but you're not together.
  • 00:08:41.040 --> 00:08:42.240
  • - Wow. - Yeah, exactly.
  • 00:08:42.240 --> 00:08:43.050
  • - Terry Lewis again.
  • 00:08:43.260 --> 00:08:45.270
  • Terry's like my conscience,
  • 00:08:45.270 --> 00:08:47.040
  • he's like that little Gazoo on your shoulder.
  • 00:08:47.040 --> 00:08:50.070
  • Saying, "Brother, hey man,
  • 00:08:50.070 --> 00:08:51.260
  • "you can go on, do what you wanna do, have fun.
  • 00:08:51.260 --> 00:08:54.040
  • "Do it, but if you wanna know how this ends,
  • 00:08:54.040 --> 00:08:56.140
  • "I'll tell you that now.
  • 00:08:56.140 --> 00:08:58.140
  • "This ends with you back home.
  • 00:08:59.200 --> 00:09:02.080
  • "You can't do what you're trying to do.
  • 00:09:02.080 --> 00:09:03.210
  • "If you can do what you're trying to do, I don't know you.
  • 00:09:03.210 --> 00:09:06.110
  • "Your makeup won't allow it."
  • 00:09:06.110 --> 00:09:08.230
  • That's what Terry said to me.
  • 00:09:10.190 --> 00:09:11.230
  • I'll never forget it.
  • 00:09:11.230 --> 00:09:13.230
  • And he was absolutely right.
  • 00:09:13.230 --> 00:09:15.010
  • My makeup wouldn't allow it, man.
  • 00:09:15.010 --> 00:09:16.180
  • I need to be with my family, bruh.
  • 00:09:16.180 --> 00:09:19.000
  • This is what I do.
  • 00:09:19.000 --> 00:09:20.000
  • (applause)
  • 00:09:20.000 --> 00:09:21.230
  • - And you guys were talking about friendship earlier?
  • 00:09:21.230 --> 00:09:25.010
  • We watching you,
  • 00:09:25.010 --> 00:09:25.260
  • and Terry managed,
  • 00:09:25.260 --> 00:09:27.110
  • there are very few people
  • 00:09:28.090 --> 00:09:30.120
  • during a period of what Donnie and I were going through
  • 00:09:31.230 --> 00:09:34.070
  • that can manage to be friends with both of us.
  • 00:09:34.070 --> 00:09:38.000
  • - [Mike] Terry's that guy.
  • 00:09:38.000 --> 00:09:39.060
  • - Yeah, Terry's that guy,
  • 00:09:39.060 --> 00:09:40.120
  • because usually people pick a side, okay?
  • 00:09:40.120 --> 00:09:42.120
  • He didn't pick a side.
  • 00:09:42.120 --> 00:09:44.100
  • If I needed to pick the phone up
  • 00:09:44.100 --> 00:09:45.170
  • and call Terry in the middle of the night,
  • 00:09:45.170 --> 00:09:46.250
  • he was there for me.
  • 00:09:46.250 --> 00:09:48.110
  • And we have another friend, Donnie's best friend George,
  • 00:09:48.110 --> 00:09:50.260
  • he managed to do the same thing, too,
  • 00:09:50.260 --> 00:09:52.180
  • that he was friends for both of us,
  • 00:09:52.180 --> 00:09:55.110
  • that they knew that we needed that,
  • 00:09:55.110 --> 00:09:56.270
  • that common friendship.
  • 00:09:56.270 --> 00:09:59.180
  • - Here's the objective through our discussion.
  • 00:09:59.180 --> 00:10:04.000
  • I'm always interested in getting the nuggets
  • 00:10:04.000 --> 00:10:08.010
  • out of what you are discussing.
  • 00:10:08.010 --> 00:10:10.180
  • Successful people are always leaving clues.
  • 00:10:12.060 --> 00:10:16.040
  • I don't want to pry or I don't wanna get too far,
  • 00:10:16.040 --> 00:10:20.090
  • I don't wanna make you uncomfortable
  • 00:10:20.090 --> 00:10:22.090
  • about what you discuss here today.
  • 00:10:22.090 --> 00:10:25.040
  • However, just like that nugget,
  • 00:10:26.030 --> 00:10:28.100
  • Terry is a friend who will not be biased
  • 00:10:28.100 --> 00:10:31.200
  • in his friendship.
  • 00:10:33.270 --> 00:10:35.120
  • There are some couples here
  • 00:10:36.080 --> 00:10:38.030
  • who have friends that are biased,
  • 00:10:38.030 --> 00:10:41.030
  • and either the husband or the wife
  • 00:10:41.030 --> 00:10:43.200
  • can't stand them having any input
  • 00:10:43.200 --> 00:10:46.240
  • in the relationship because they're one-sided.
  • 00:10:46.240 --> 00:10:50.190
  • Already I've discovered through just what you have shared,
  • 00:10:52.000 --> 00:10:55.240
  • if DeeDee and I are gonna have a friend,
  • 00:10:55.240 --> 00:10:58.010
  • we need a friend that knows
  • 00:10:58.010 --> 00:10:59.130
  • how to go straight up the middle of the road
  • 00:10:59.130 --> 00:11:02.060
  • and pledge allegiance to the truth.
  • 00:11:02.060 --> 00:11:04.120
  • - [Pam] Exactly, exactly.
  • 00:11:04.120 --> 00:11:05.120
  • Because I don't wanna be in that area.
  • 00:11:05.120 --> 00:11:05.290
  • So in the three and a half years,
  • 00:11:06.070 --> 00:11:07.090
  • were you all talking a lot?
  • 00:11:07.090 --> 00:11:10.020
  • - Well, we have kids together,
  • 00:11:10.020 --> 00:11:11.020
  • so we had to communicate.
  • 00:11:11.020 --> 00:11:13.050
  • - What kind of communicating, though?
  • 00:11:14.070 --> 00:11:15.050
  • You know, it's a difference.
  • 00:11:15.050 --> 00:11:17.170
  • Did you just talk kid talk,
  • 00:11:17.170 --> 00:11:19.120
  • or did you talk like opportunities--
  • 00:11:19.120 --> 00:11:22.060
  • - Well, it was about the kids,
  • 00:11:22.060 --> 00:11:23.220
  • and then towards the end of the three and a half years...
  • 00:11:23.220 --> 00:11:28.030
  • It was three years, and that's when we started talking
  • 00:11:28.030 --> 00:11:30.200
  • about getting back together,
  • 00:11:30.200 --> 00:11:32.020
  • and yeah, so it took about six months
  • 00:11:32.020 --> 00:11:34.130
  • for us to actually get back together.
  • 00:11:34.130 --> 00:11:36.270
  • - So who made the first move in that respect?
  • 00:11:36.270 --> 00:11:40.200
  • Okay, what were you thinking?
  • 00:11:41.200 --> 00:11:44.190
  • - I thought this wasn't going to be like Maury Povich.
  • 00:11:44.190 --> 00:11:46.200
  • (laughter)
  • 00:11:46.200 --> 00:11:48.070
  • - Or Jerry Springer.
  • 00:11:48.070 --> 00:11:49.280
  • - [Donnie] Whoever you said.
  • 00:11:49.280 --> 00:11:52.080
  • - [Mike] I said Jerry Springer, man.
  • 00:11:54.020 --> 00:11:55.220
  • - Jerry Springer. - Yeah.
  • 00:11:55.220 --> 00:11:56.240
  • - You start getting Springer.
  • 00:11:56.240 --> 00:11:58.010
  • You just bringing on the edge of your seat.
  • 00:11:58.010 --> 00:11:59.160
  • So what--
  • 00:11:59.160 --> 00:12:00.130
  • - Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!
  • 00:12:00.130 --> 00:12:02.290
  • (laughter)
  • 00:12:02.290 --> 00:12:05.000
  • - And you got to hear-- - We just, we're ask,
  • 00:12:05.000 --> 00:12:06.200
  • oh, go ahead.
  • 00:12:06.200 --> 00:12:07.280
  • - You have to hear it in a positive,
  • 00:12:07.280 --> 00:12:10.110
  • because you know most of the majority of the couples here
  • 00:12:10.110 --> 00:12:13.240
  • are married, or they either have to be married or engaged.
  • 00:12:13.240 --> 00:12:17.180
  • And it's so important sometimes to hear information
  • 00:12:17.180 --> 00:12:20.180
  • about others because it's like,
  • 00:12:20.180 --> 00:12:22.130
  • how can we not go through that?
  • 00:12:22.130 --> 00:12:25.120
  • We tell our story all the time
  • 00:12:25.120 --> 00:12:26.280
  • because we don't want people to have to go through
  • 00:12:26.280 --> 00:12:28.250
  • what we went through.
  • 00:12:28.250 --> 00:12:30.040
  • It's like it's a fool to me to have to experience
  • 00:12:30.040 --> 00:12:33.050
  • the troubles that somebody else experienced,
  • 00:12:33.050 --> 00:12:35.140
  • especially if we can put it out there to say,
  • 00:12:35.140 --> 00:12:37.250
  • don't do that.
  • 00:12:37.250 --> 00:12:39.000
  • Don't jump in that hole.
  • 00:12:39.000 --> 00:12:40.160
  • But then you jump in the hole and say, how did we get here?
  • 00:12:40.160 --> 00:12:43.040
  • - You can learn from other people's mistakes.
  • 00:12:43.040 --> 00:12:45.100
  • - And so that's what I'm really asking of you,
  • 00:12:45.100 --> 00:12:47.010
  • to just share so that we don't have to encounter...
  • 00:12:47.010 --> 00:12:50.170
  • I yield.
  • 00:12:50.170 --> 00:12:51.130
  • - Really, but that's why we have you here,
  • 00:12:51.160 --> 00:12:52.240
  • because of where you are today.
  • 00:12:52.240 --> 00:12:55.230
  • Because we got enough stories in here
  • 00:12:55.230 --> 00:12:58.200
  • that we can talk about what we have gone through.
  • 00:12:58.200 --> 00:13:01.190
  • We wanna know how you overcame,
  • 00:13:01.190 --> 00:13:03.190
  • and what pushed you to the point of reconciliation?
  • 00:13:03.190 --> 00:13:07.070
  • And then did you have challenges
  • 00:13:07.070 --> 00:13:09.060
  • once you decided to come back together?
  • 00:13:09.060 --> 00:13:11.170
  • Because surely, I would be thinking there,
  • 00:13:11.170 --> 00:13:13.280
  • okay, so who have you been with
  • 00:13:13.280 --> 00:13:15.160
  • and how many women?
  • 00:13:15.160 --> 00:13:16.250
  • - Okay, DeeDee, DeeDee.
  • 00:13:16.250 --> 00:13:18.010
  • - No, really. - DeeDee, DeeDee.
  • 00:13:18.010 --> 00:13:20.160
  • DeeDee.
  • 00:13:21.190 --> 00:13:23.010
  • You should have let me talk.
  • 00:13:23.010 --> 00:13:24.120
  • (laughter)
  • 00:13:24.120 --> 00:13:26.190
  • - No, but you know what I'm saying.
  • 00:13:30.120 --> 00:13:31.200
  • - So who have you been with, Donnie?
  • 00:13:31.200 --> 00:13:33.290
  • Donnie, who you been with?
  • 00:13:33.290 --> 00:13:36.240
  • - No, and I'm not asking you to tell--
  • 00:13:36.240 --> 00:13:38.130
  • - I don't think I ever been to church like this.
  • 00:13:38.130 --> 00:13:40.000
  • (laughter)
  • 00:13:40.000 --> 00:13:42.130
  • - This ain't church!
  • 00:13:42.130 --> 00:13:44.010
  • - We're talking about some keep-it-real stuff up in here.
  • 00:13:44.010 --> 00:13:47.100
  • - But you know what I'm talking about
  • 00:13:47.100 --> 00:13:48.190
  • because the enemy comes to your mind
  • 00:13:48.190 --> 00:13:51.070
  • to cast blame and fault so you can separate again.
  • 00:13:51.070 --> 00:13:55.060
  • And so how did you deal with--
  • 00:13:55.060 --> 00:13:57.110
  • - [Pam] It's called forgiveness.
  • 00:13:57.110 --> 00:13:59.140
  • - That's it, talk about it.
  • 00:13:59.140 --> 00:14:01.230
  • - You don't forget, and you don't, you know,
  • 00:14:03.080 --> 00:14:05.260
  • put your head in the sand somewhere
  • 00:14:05.260 --> 00:14:07.200
  • and act like something didn't happen,
  • 00:14:07.200 --> 00:14:09.220
  • but life is not just about forgiving him.
  • 00:14:09.220 --> 00:14:13.050
  • I have forgiven a lot of people in my life.
  • 00:14:15.170 --> 00:14:18.200
  • - [Mike] I've forgiven DeeDee.
  • 00:14:18.200 --> 00:14:20.040
  • - (laughs) But that's the power within me: forgiveness.
  • 00:14:20.040 --> 00:14:24.000
  • That's what you have to do - I love it.
  • 00:14:26.160 --> 00:14:27.230
  • - Because forgiveness is for me, not for him.
  • 00:14:27.230 --> 00:14:31.290
  • I do it for myself.
  • 00:14:31.290 --> 00:14:33.030
  • (triumphant music)
  • 00:14:33.250 --> 00:14:36.140
  • - Yes, you don't want to sweep things under the rug
  • 00:14:44.070 --> 00:14:47.130
  • and not address relevant issues.
  • 00:14:47.130 --> 00:14:49.170
  • So I would say certain stuff, or like on a case by case
  • 00:14:49.170 --> 00:14:53.080
  • situation, but in my marriage,
  • 00:14:53.080 --> 00:14:55.230
  • how we do it, we talk things out.
  • 00:14:56.210 --> 00:14:59.100
  • And majority of the time, us talking it out, like,
  • 00:14:59.100 --> 00:15:03.090
  • communication's key.
  • 00:15:03.090 --> 00:15:04.240
  • If you don't have communication in your relationship
  • 00:15:04.240 --> 00:15:07.000
  • and your marriage, then it's gonna fail.
  • 00:15:07.000 --> 00:15:09.230
  • - I address them all.
  • 00:15:09.230 --> 00:15:11.200
  • Some habits, as you know, as time grows, you have to ignore,
  • 00:15:11.200 --> 00:15:15.280
  • but I usually address any issues immediately head on,
  • 00:15:15.280 --> 00:15:19.150
  • so that the problem won't surface later.
  • 00:15:19.150 --> 00:15:23.030
  • - I think you gotta ignore some things, like the little
  • 00:15:23.030 --> 00:15:26.080
  • annoyances that the other person may have.
  • 00:15:26.080 --> 00:15:28.150
  • But as far as big issues, if you don't attack those, then
  • 00:15:28.150 --> 00:15:31.080
  • you're gonna screw it all up and won't be worth it.
  • 00:15:31.080 --> 00:15:35.110
  • - Probably somewhere in the middle.
  • 00:15:36.230 --> 00:15:38.110
  • (laughter)
  • 00:15:38.110 --> 00:15:39.060
  • I mean, the big--
  • 00:15:39.060 --> 00:15:40.040
  • - Somewhere in the middle.
  • 00:15:40.040 --> 00:15:41.110
  • We address most issues. - Yeah, we address it.
  • 00:15:41.110 --> 00:15:42.180
  • - Sometimes you have to let things go.
  • 00:15:42.180 --> 00:15:43.270
  • - Smaller things, maybe.
  • 00:15:43.270 --> 00:15:46.130
  • Ignore smaller things that aren't so important.
  • 00:15:46.130 --> 00:15:48.150
  • Like, if it's not hugely important to you,
  • 00:15:48.150 --> 00:15:50.240
  • like the toothpaste tube being squeezed from the bottom
  • 00:15:50.240 --> 00:15:54.290
  • instead of whatever.
  • 00:15:56.140 --> 00:15:58.250
  • - So I would say important issues, address those.
  • 00:15:58.250 --> 00:16:02.290
  • The minor issues, happy wife, happy life, let her win.
  • 00:16:04.100 --> 00:16:07.170
  • But yeah, that's how you do it.
  • 00:16:07.170 --> 00:16:10.040
  • (laughter)
  • 00:16:16.260 --> 00:16:17.230
  • I've had my base so early.
  • 00:16:17.230 --> 00:16:19.280
  • It's so good to have a good base so early.
  • 00:16:21.110 --> 00:16:24.130
  • And some cats don't even know they got a good base.
  • 00:16:24.130 --> 00:16:28.020
  • (laughter)
  • 00:16:28.020 --> 00:16:29.150
  • They don't even know they got a good base.
  • 00:16:29.150 --> 00:16:31.050
  • As a matter of fact, the scripture says,
  • 00:16:31.050 --> 00:16:33.110
  • and have found favor when you identify your base.
  • 00:16:33.110 --> 00:16:37.130
  • - Yeah, wow.
  • 00:16:38.150 --> 00:16:39.290
  • Wow.
  • 00:16:39.290 --> 00:16:41.000
  • Yeah, man.
  • 00:16:41.000 --> 00:16:41.290
  • Well, she is that.
  • 00:16:41.290 --> 00:16:43.060
  • She is my rock, man.
  • 00:16:43.060 --> 00:16:45.170
  • She's always been with me.
  • 00:16:45.170 --> 00:16:47.110
  • As LL Cool J said, my "around the way girl."
  • 00:16:47.110 --> 00:16:51.150
  • My ride or die.
  • 00:16:51.150 --> 00:16:52.220
  • I know where she stands.
  • 00:16:54.070 --> 00:16:56.240
  • I can count on that, man,
  • 00:16:56.240 --> 00:16:58.080
  • for the rest of my life.
  • 00:16:58.080 --> 00:16:58.240
  • I have total faith in that.
  • 00:16:58.280 --> 00:17:00.170
  • I look at the woman that she has become.
  • 00:17:00.170 --> 00:17:04.080
  • It's all a learning process.
  • 00:17:04.080 --> 00:17:06.180
  • I remember I had a guy coming on my show,
  • 00:17:07.220 --> 00:17:09.150
  • I don't remember his name, but he wrote the book,
  • 00:17:09.150 --> 00:17:12.080
  • Women Are from Venus and Men Are from Mars
  • 00:17:12.080 --> 00:17:14.010
  • or whatever it was.
  • 00:17:14.010 --> 00:17:15.120
  • - Gary Smalley. - Right.
  • 00:17:15.120 --> 00:17:17.120
  • So I remember one of the sections in there
  • 00:17:17.120 --> 00:17:20.160
  • he was talking about how when a woman tells you...
  • 00:17:20.160 --> 00:17:25.150
  • She's telling you what she's going through
  • 00:17:25.150 --> 00:17:27.290
  • at work or whatever, I've got these issues,
  • 00:17:27.290 --> 00:17:29.160
  • then she doesn't want you to fix it.
  • 00:17:29.160 --> 00:17:32.220
  • She just wants to tell you.
  • 00:17:32.220 --> 00:17:34.140
  • She's gonna fix it.
  • 00:17:34.140 --> 00:17:35.250
  • - Just want you to listen.
  • 00:17:35.250 --> 00:17:37.030
  • - Just want you to listen, that's all.
  • 00:17:37.030 --> 00:17:38.170
  • And I was that,
  • 00:17:38.170 --> 00:17:40.090
  • I wanted to be her superhero, you know.
  • 00:17:40.090 --> 00:17:42.120
  • And she would sometimes think
  • 00:17:42.120 --> 00:17:43.280
  • that I was not listening
  • 00:17:43.280 --> 00:17:46.040
  • because I've already shifted into fix-it mode.
  • 00:17:46.040 --> 00:17:50.090
  • I'mma fix this for you, baby.
  • 00:17:50.090 --> 00:17:52.090
  • I got this.
  • 00:17:52.090 --> 00:17:53.090
  • But when I read that excerpt,
  • 00:17:53.090 --> 00:17:54.190
  • that was so significant to me
  • 00:17:54.190 --> 00:17:56.090
  • because it taught me to listen and to back up,
  • 00:17:56.090 --> 00:17:59.000
  • that she's woman enough.
  • 00:17:59.000 --> 00:18:00.170
  • She's got this, she can handle this.
  • 00:18:00.170 --> 00:18:02.190
  • She doesn't need me to handle this.
  • 00:18:02.190 --> 00:18:03.240
  • She's got it.
  • 00:18:03.240 --> 00:18:04.260
  • But with that, the bigger thing
  • 00:18:06.090 --> 00:18:08.060
  • was that that took my level of respect for her
  • 00:18:08.060 --> 00:18:12.010
  • to a whole different level.
  • 00:18:14.010 --> 00:18:16.030
  • And then I respected her for who she was.
  • 00:18:16.030 --> 00:18:19.240
  • She didn't have to have me.
  • 00:18:19.240 --> 00:18:20.280
  • She's got this.
  • 00:18:20.280 --> 00:18:22.020
  • She's woman on her own.
  • 00:18:22.020 --> 00:18:23.290
  • She can handle on it.
  • 00:18:25.010 --> 00:18:26.070
  • And it's just a really cool place to be.
  • 00:18:26.070 --> 00:18:29.110
  • There was a lot of growth in that for me.
  • 00:18:30.150 --> 00:18:31.220
  • One of the reasons why my ministry, along with my wife,
  • 00:18:32.190 --> 00:18:36.240
  • is so successful: we are so transparent.
  • 00:18:38.000 --> 00:18:40.290
  • First of all, I've divorced myself
  • 00:18:46.010 --> 00:18:47.190
  • from the opinions of people.
  • 00:18:47.190 --> 00:18:49.290
  • And what people say about us doesn't even matter,
  • 00:18:51.120 --> 00:18:55.150
  • 'cause I'm still jumping on private jets,
  • 00:18:55.150 --> 00:18:58.090
  • I'm still living in my home,
  • 00:18:58.090 --> 00:18:59.270
  • I'm still driving the way I wanna drive,
  • 00:18:59.270 --> 00:19:02.020
  • eat like I wanna eat, live like I wanna live.
  • 00:19:02.020 --> 00:19:05.100
  • I'm not concerned.
  • 00:19:05.100 --> 00:19:06.100
  • People are gonna talk about you
  • 00:19:06.100 --> 00:19:07.250
  • whether you're doing good, bad, or nothing at all.
  • 00:19:07.250 --> 00:19:11.090
  • God knows my heart,
  • 00:19:11.090 --> 00:19:12.220
  • and it is my intent to really bring people
  • 00:19:12.220 --> 00:19:16.110
  • and especially their relationship to another level
  • 00:19:16.110 --> 00:19:20.020
  • through our experience.
  • 00:19:20.020 --> 00:19:21.210
  • That's why I talk about the puredee hell
  • 00:19:21.210 --> 00:19:24.220
  • that DeeDee and I have been through,
  • 00:19:24.220 --> 00:19:26.250
  • some of the nights where we didn't get any sleep,
  • 00:19:26.250 --> 00:19:30.020
  • tossing and turning, I'm throwing stuff,
  • 00:19:30.020 --> 00:19:32.000
  • she's screaming, hollering, acting the cold fool.
  • 00:19:32.000 --> 00:19:34.170
  • This girl from southeast Washington, DC.
  • 00:19:34.170 --> 00:19:38.020
  • - 'Nuff said.
  • 00:19:38.020 --> 00:19:39.020
  • (laughter)
  • 00:19:39.020 --> 00:19:41.100
  • Mine from Detroit.
  • 00:19:42.250 --> 00:19:44.100
  • - D Style!
  • 00:19:45.240 --> 00:19:46.190
  • (laughs)
  • 00:19:46.190 --> 00:19:48.210
  • - And so inside of this,
  • 00:19:50.190 --> 00:19:52.270
  • Donnie, your book would be such an incredible inspiration.
  • 00:19:52.270 --> 00:19:57.020
  • Like in the article you mentioned,
  • 00:19:59.100 --> 00:20:02.010
  • going back home is more than just packing your bags
  • 00:20:02.010 --> 00:20:04.200
  • and showing up.
  • 00:20:04.200 --> 00:20:06.080
  • - That's good.
  • 00:20:06.080 --> 00:20:08.070
  • - You just can't pack your bags, put some stuff together,
  • 00:20:08.070 --> 00:20:10.230
  • say, baby, I'm coming home.
  • 00:20:10.230 --> 00:20:11.270
  • - Oh, I'm back!
  • 00:20:11.270 --> 00:20:12.270
  • - You talked about the work--
  • 00:20:12.270 --> 00:20:14.020
  • - But you know, that's what I thought.
  • 00:20:14.020 --> 00:20:15.200
  • I'mma tell you that.
  • 00:20:15.200 --> 00:20:17.130
  • - Yeah, let's talk, Donnie!
  • 00:20:17.130 --> 00:20:18.140
  • Donnie, let's talk!
  • 00:20:18.140 --> 00:20:20.020
  • - I really did.
  • 00:20:21.080 --> 00:20:23.000
  • You want the pain?
  • 00:20:23.000 --> 00:20:24.140
  • First of all, I'll say this without all the details.
  • 00:20:24.140 --> 00:20:26.260
  • This, without doubt, was the most...
  • 00:20:26.260 --> 00:20:29.260
  • Frustrating and difficult and depressing period in my life.
  • 00:20:31.100 --> 00:20:35.060
  • Without Pam.
  • 00:20:37.040 --> 00:20:38.170
  • No question about it.
  • 00:20:38.170 --> 00:20:39.280
  • It was awful.
  • 00:20:39.280 --> 00:20:41.000
  • And I was going to therapy, I'm not ashamed of that.
  • 00:20:42.120 --> 00:20:44.030
  • - [Mike] That's good.
  • 00:20:44.030 --> 00:20:45.250
  • - But thank God
  • 00:20:45.250 --> 00:20:47.100
  • I was going to therapy-- - DeeDee going to therapy.
  • 00:20:47.100 --> 00:20:48.130
  • When's your therapist's next session?
  • 00:20:48.130 --> 00:20:49.200
  • (laughter)
  • 00:20:49.200 --> 00:20:52.200
  • - But when I decided I wanted to go back home,
  • 00:20:52.200 --> 00:20:56.050
  • I just so happened to have a session
  • 00:20:56.050 --> 00:20:58.270
  • scheduled that morning, right?
  • 00:20:58.270 --> 00:21:01.170
  • So that morning, I know this sounds crazy,
  • 00:21:01.170 --> 00:21:05.110
  • but this is what I did.
  • 00:21:05.110 --> 00:21:07.100
  • I decided I wanted to go home.
  • 00:21:07.100 --> 00:21:09.010
  • I went out to buy a makeup gift.
  • 00:21:09.010 --> 00:21:11.290
  • I bought this brand new red convertible Mercedes two-seater.
  • 00:21:11.290 --> 00:21:16.040
  • - Come on home, Donnie!
  • 00:21:19.240 --> 00:21:22.140
  • How many of ladies say, come on home?
  • 00:21:22.140 --> 00:21:26.110
  • - You don't bring no two-seater home.
  • 00:21:26.110 --> 00:21:27.230
  • Come home to the house and kids.
  • 00:21:27.230 --> 00:21:29.040
  • - I bought a dozen,
  • 00:21:29.040 --> 00:21:30.040
  • a gross of roses.
  • 00:21:30.110 --> 00:21:31.260
  • Put 'em in the car.
  • 00:21:31.260 --> 00:21:33.100
  • And I'm all ready.
  • 00:21:33.100 --> 00:21:34.230
  • I'm gonna drive over there, she's gonna see this,
  • 00:21:34.230 --> 00:21:38.060
  • man, I'm back in.
  • 00:21:38.060 --> 00:21:39.150
  • I'm in there tonight, sitting in my drawers,
  • 00:21:39.150 --> 00:21:41.260
  • watching Andy Griffith!
  • 00:21:41.260 --> 00:21:43.080
  • (laughter)
  • 00:21:43.080 --> 00:21:45.150
  • - Not too dark, Donnie, not too dark.
  • 00:21:46.180 --> 00:21:49.200
  • - Well, you asked!
  • 00:21:51.050 --> 00:21:51.220
  • - That was good.
  • 00:21:51.220 --> 00:21:52.170
  • - They were transparent.
  • 00:21:52.170 --> 00:21:53.200
  • They were see-through drawers.
  • 00:21:53.200 --> 00:21:55.070
  • Y'all transparent here, right?
  • 00:21:55.070 --> 00:21:58.010
  • - But we don't say drawers in church.
  • 00:21:58.010 --> 00:22:00.180
  • We say underwear.
  • 00:22:00.180 --> 00:22:02.000
  • No, go right ahead.
  • 00:22:04.210 --> 00:22:05.220
  • - So that's where my head was.
  • 00:22:05.220 --> 00:22:09.000
  • Wow, she's gonna,
  • 00:22:09.000 --> 00:22:10.070
  • aw, I'm so happy to have you back.
  • 00:22:10.070 --> 00:22:13.140
  • I, again, had this therapy session.
  • 00:22:13.140 --> 00:22:15.020
  • I go to my therapist.
  • 00:22:15.020 --> 00:22:17.020
  • I told him what I did, what I'm getting ready to do,
  • 00:22:17.020 --> 00:22:19.000
  • and he said, "Well, hold on, wait a minute, wait a minute.
  • 00:22:19.000 --> 00:22:22.150
  • "You don't know how she feels about this."
  • 00:22:22.150 --> 00:22:25.250
  • I was like, "What?
  • 00:22:25.250 --> 00:22:28.040
  • "I'm the GOAT!"
  • 00:22:28.040 --> 00:22:29.050
  • (laughter)
  • 00:22:29.050 --> 00:22:32.020
  • - Not in my house.
  • 00:22:32.020 --> 00:22:33.000
  • - You don't know who I am1
  • 00:22:33.000 --> 00:22:34.030
  • - Enough said.
  • 00:22:34.030 --> 00:22:36.020
  • - You know who I think I am?
  • 00:22:36.020 --> 00:22:38.210
  • - Right?
  • 00:22:38.210 --> 00:22:39.270
  • So we had this whole conversation about, man,
  • 00:22:39.270 --> 00:22:43.010
  • you talk about God putting people in place
  • 00:22:43.010 --> 00:22:45.090
  • for giving you what you need when you need it.
  • 00:22:45.090 --> 00:22:48.000
  • That's exactly what I needed,
  • 00:22:48.000 --> 00:22:49.040
  • just tap on the brakes here.
  • 00:22:49.040 --> 00:22:51.010
  • And he tapped on the brakes for me,
  • 00:22:51.010 --> 00:22:52.080
  • said slow my expectations down.
  • 00:22:52.080 --> 00:22:55.170
  • And when I went over there
  • 00:22:55.170 --> 00:22:56.230
  • and gave her the card and everything,
  • 00:22:56.230 --> 00:22:58.050
  • she's like, I mean, just like, wow!
  • 00:22:58.050 --> 00:23:00.290
  • Whoa.
  • 00:23:00.290 --> 00:23:01.240
  • You know.
  • 00:23:01.240 --> 00:23:03.130
  • It wasn't like, oh, come on back home tonight.
  • 00:23:03.130 --> 00:23:06.010
  • It's like, well, let's talk about this.
  • 00:23:06.010 --> 00:23:08.060
  • - I said,
  • 00:23:08.060 --> 00:23:09.210
  • "I'll take the car."
  • 00:23:09.210 --> 00:23:11.020
  • (laughter)
  • 00:23:11.020 --> 00:23:12.100
  • "Okay, I'm not stupid.
  • 00:23:12.100 --> 00:23:14.000
  • "But we'll talk, okay?"
  • 00:23:14.000 --> 00:23:15.280
  • And that was the beginning of the six months
  • 00:23:17.080 --> 00:23:19.190
  • that it took for us to work it out
  • 00:23:19.190 --> 00:23:21.180
  • with some therapy and came back home.
  • 00:23:21.180 --> 00:23:23.000
  • (intense music)
  • 00:23:23.180 --> 00:23:25.280
  • - A tip,
  • 00:23:33.100 --> 00:23:34.050
  • listen to your wife, listen to your wife.
  • 00:23:35.140 --> 00:23:37.270
  • Say yes, but allow each other your differences
  • 00:23:37.270 --> 00:23:41.050
  • because no relationship is perfect,
  • 00:23:41.050 --> 00:23:43.150
  • and what worked for my relationship,
  • 00:23:43.150 --> 00:23:45.130
  • it might not work for you,
  • 00:23:45.130 --> 00:23:46.210
  • or it might not work for you, vice versa.
  • 00:23:46.210 --> 00:23:48.160
  • And try to keep the communication within your household
  • 00:23:48.160 --> 00:23:52.060
  • instead of letting other people outside
  • 00:23:52.060 --> 00:23:54.050
  • of your relationship dictate what's going on.
  • 00:23:54.050 --> 00:23:56.200
  • - I think also it helps to have a sense of humor,
  • 00:23:56.200 --> 00:23:59.240
  • and not sometimes take things too seriously.
  • 00:23:59.240 --> 00:24:02.220
  • And the other thing is to understand sometimes
  • 00:24:02.220 --> 00:24:04.170
  • that it's not all about you.
  • 00:24:04.170 --> 00:24:06.120
  • If your partner does something you don't like,
  • 00:24:06.120 --> 00:24:08.090
  • sometimes it's not a reflection of you,
  • 00:24:08.090 --> 00:24:10.180
  • it's just the way they've been brought up,
  • 00:24:10.180 --> 00:24:12.240
  • or something other than you.
  • 00:24:12.240 --> 00:24:15.040
  • And so you just have to realize that
  • 00:24:16.210 --> 00:24:18.130
  • and work around it or let it go.
  • 00:24:18.130 --> 00:24:21.030
  • - How to have a lasting long marriage,
  • 00:24:23.010 --> 00:24:24.160
  • I would say meet the person that is your friend, one,
  • 00:24:24.160 --> 00:24:28.200
  • and a person that makes you laugh
  • 00:24:29.250 --> 00:24:31.050
  • about something every day.
  • 00:24:31.050 --> 00:24:33.100
  • - I have no idea, I've never been married, so.
  • 00:24:34.150 --> 00:24:37.130
  • - Once you start having outsiders coming in
  • 00:24:37.130 --> 00:24:39.170
  • your relationship and giving you advice,
  • 00:24:39.170 --> 00:24:42.260
  • they don't understand the whole magnitude
  • 00:24:42.260 --> 00:24:44.240
  • of your relationship, so communication is key,
  • 00:24:44.240 --> 00:24:47.210
  • stick to it, and pray to God and talk to your pastor.
  • 00:24:47.210 --> 00:24:51.230
  • Those are a few tips, I gave you more than one,
  • 00:24:51.230 --> 00:24:54.190
  • but those are a few tips.
  • 00:24:54.190 --> 00:24:56.160
  • - I would imagine going back to communication,
  • 00:24:56.160 --> 00:24:59.270
  • and lots of other fun activities
  • 00:24:59.270 --> 00:25:02.200
  • with each other at all times.
  • 00:25:05.030 --> 00:25:08.010
  • Sorry for your church that I just said that.
  • 00:25:08.230 --> 00:25:12.110
  • God has taken our relationship as a trophy in His hand
  • 00:25:22.140 --> 00:25:27.100
  • to show the world what He intended
  • 00:25:27.100 --> 00:25:29.090
  • for marriage to look like.
  • 00:25:29.090 --> 00:25:31.070
  • 43 years.
  • 00:25:31.070 --> 00:25:32.020
  • You understand what I'm saying?
  • 00:25:34.220 --> 00:25:36.060
  • That is so powerful,
  • 00:25:36.060 --> 00:25:38.120
  • and we wanted to highlight those
  • 00:25:38.120 --> 00:25:40.240
  • who have not done it perfectly,
  • 00:25:40.240 --> 00:25:43.110
  • but look at the results now.
  • 00:25:46.030 --> 00:25:49.050
  • You know what I mean?
  • 00:25:49.050 --> 00:25:50.050
  • (applause)
  • 00:25:50.050 --> 00:25:51.230
  • And we're grateful, go ahead.
  • 00:25:51.230 --> 00:25:54.110
  • - Well, I just wanna say two things
  • 00:25:54.110 --> 00:25:56.140
  • in closing for me.
  • 00:25:56.140 --> 00:25:58.030
  • And that is that I've always looked at marriage
  • 00:25:58.030 --> 00:26:00.110
  • as a tennis match.
  • 00:26:00.110 --> 00:26:02.110
  • You can lose a point and not lose the game.
  • 00:26:02.110 --> 00:26:05.120
  • You can lose a game and not lose the set.
  • 00:26:05.120 --> 00:26:08.030
  • You can lose a set and not lose the match.
  • 00:26:08.030 --> 00:26:10.230
  • So you got to keep playing.
  • 00:26:10.230 --> 00:26:13.210
  • So that's one,
  • 00:26:13.210 --> 00:26:14.270
  • and the other thing that I wanna say
  • 00:26:14.270 --> 00:26:15.290
  • is you talk about the blessing
  • 00:26:15.290 --> 00:26:18.210
  • that we may bring to you guys.
  • 00:26:18.210 --> 00:26:20.070
  • I just want you to know that you've also brought
  • 00:26:20.070 --> 00:26:23.020
  • a blessing to us tonight.
  • 00:26:23.020 --> 00:26:25.050
  • We were in the back watching earlier and,
  • 00:26:26.200 --> 00:26:28.200
  • for real.
  • 00:26:28.200 --> 00:26:29.150
  • I love people, I love stories,
  • 00:26:32.120 --> 00:26:34.100
  • and to hear your stories and to feel the love
  • 00:26:34.100 --> 00:26:37.110
  • that's in this church tonight
  • 00:26:37.110 --> 00:26:39.050
  • is a blessing for us, too.
  • 00:26:39.050 --> 00:26:40.180
  • So thank you for what you've given us tonight.
  • 00:26:40.180 --> 00:26:43.040
  • Appreciate you.
  • 00:26:43.040 --> 00:26:43.290
  • (applause)
  • 00:26:43.290 --> 00:26:46.090
  • Voiceover: Thank you for viewing Living By Faith.
  • 00:26:50.210 --> 00:26:53.040
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  • 00:26:53.040 --> 00:26:55.180
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  • 00:26:57.110 --> 00:27:04.180
  • Voiceover: If you are ever in the Washington
  • 00:27:05.090 --> 00:27:06.200
  • - Ladies and Gentleman, I believe
  • 00:27:13.070 --> 00:27:14.220
  • it's a greater sin to not get back up and fight again.
  • 00:27:14.220 --> 00:27:18.230
  • That's what God wants you to do.
  • 00:27:20.000 --> 00:27:21.120
  • When you fall, he says rise up and go forward.
  • 00:27:21.120 --> 00:27:24.280
  • (clapping)
  • 00:27:24.280 --> 00:27:26.200
  • - We don't just survive things,
  • 00:27:26.200 --> 00:27:29.100
  • we overcome in every area of our lives.
  • 00:27:29.100 --> 00:27:32.170
  • - God has some design the human mechanism,
  • 00:27:35.010 --> 00:27:38.110
  • the spirit, soul, and body
  • 00:27:38.110 --> 00:27:40.000
  • that your life begins to move in the direction
  • 00:27:40.000 --> 00:27:43.280
  • of what you see.
  • 00:27:43.280 --> 00:27:45.210
  • - You got to visualize.
  • 00:27:45.210 --> 00:27:47.120
  • You gotta verbalize.
  • 00:27:47.120 --> 00:27:49.060
  • You gotta internalize until it materializes.
  • 00:27:49.060 --> 00:27:52.270
  • - If you see health, your body will move in that direction.
  • 00:27:56.020 --> 00:28:01.000
  • - Whew.
  • 00:28:01.000 --> 00:28:01.250