Your home is where ministry begins. Don’t neglect it!
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#ThePotter'sTouchwithT.D.Jakes
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The Potter's Touch with T.D. Jakes | T.D. Jakes - Winning at Home | January 28, 2025
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- ♪♪♪
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- Female announcer: coming up on "the potter's touch."
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- Bishop t.d. jakes: i don't care whether you're in the pulpit or
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- In corporate or in business, we are not winning at home.
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- We're making the money, we're climbing the corporate ladder,
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- We're in the c-suites of america, we're breaking in
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- And out.
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- We're doing stuff, but it is hard to have a stable
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- Relationship while you go after dreams.
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- ♪ the potter's touch, the potter's touch ♪♪
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- Bishop jakes: because once people respect you and then find
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- Out you are human, they reject you, am i talking good?
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- So winning at home implies it's a fight,
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- You can't win if it's not a fight.
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- And let me tell you something, i know you're sitting there
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- Looking all cute, grinning, sitting beside each other, but i
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- Know you don't grin every day like that at home.
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- Can we be real for a minute?
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- You can love somebody that gets on your last nerve, i mean your
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- Very last nerve.
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- My wife has a box in her bathroom, "mama's last nerve,"
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- Okay, they can get on your very last nerve.
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- It is difficult to hold it together and i'll tell you why.
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- Because you care, because you care.
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- I can have somebody weird at work or what i deem as weird
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- Because i leave.
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- My time at home is so little that, when i do get to get home,
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- That's a big deal, and what happens is when you're miserable
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- At home, you run from the house, which is exhausting, which means
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- You create work to avoid the fact that you're not winning
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- At home.
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- Can we be real for a minute?
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- And when it's stage time, we walk out on the stage, "praise
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- The lord everybody, praise the lord, oh bless the lord,
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- Oh glory to god, good to see you," but the reality is it's
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- Hard to raise your children.
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- I don't care whether you're in the pulpit or in corporate or in
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- Business, we are not winning at home.
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- We're making the money, we're climbing the corporate ladder,
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- We're in the c-suites of america, we're breaking in
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- And out.
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- We're starting businesses, we're starting companies, we're doing
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- Stuff, but it is hard to have a stable relationship while you go
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- After dreams,
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- Because everybody wants more of you and you don't
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- Always have enough to go around.
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- Demanding careers of any kind require great focus, and great
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- Focus is at the expense--kids require great focus.
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- The more children you have--i was talking to somebody, baby,
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- She said to me, "i made it through the hard part," she
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- Said, "they're out of diapers and stuff, i made it through the
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- Hard part."
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- I thought..."child, don't you get up here and teach that," you
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- See how everybody laughing at that?
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- Everybody laughing at that who got gray hair, dyed hair, or
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- Somewhere in between, they know you ain't seen nothing yet.
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- You gotta make it through adolescence, you gotta make it
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- Through all kinds of stuff that these preachers are testifying
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- About--that they were drug dealers and on drugs and selling
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- Drugs and crackheads, that was at an earlier age and stage
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- Of life.
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- You got to steer through that traffic feeling like their
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- Self-discovery is your failure, so whatever they experience, you
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- Blame yourself.
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- And so if you were busy working, building, doing, going,
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- Evolving, then you regret that.
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- If you're at home all the time, you say, "well, maybe i didn't
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- Give you the right advice, maybe i--" everything that goes wrong
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- Is not about you, everything that goes wrong is not
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- About you.
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- My wife had to learn every time i come home and...
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- Every time that i come home and i'm not talking, it doesn't mean
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- I don't like her, it doesn't mean that i'm mad at her, it
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- Doesn't mean--every time i flip out, freak out, get weird, act
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- Strange, it is not about you, so you don't need to fix nothing,
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- You don't need to fix--you don't need to change anything, you
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- Don't need to fix me.
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- It is not your job to fix me, it is not my job to fix you, it is
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- My job to love you broken because, if i can love you
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- Broken, maybe i can love me broken.
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- If i can't love you flawed, then i really don't love myself
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- Flawed, talk to us.
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- Serita jakes: wow, you said a mouthful.
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- You know, when you said that it's not your job to fix me nor
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- Mine to fix you, the thing that i realized that was most
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- Important to you was that i fixed our home.
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- He gave me a house and it wasn't what you wanted to give me, but
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- To me it was the world.
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- He gave me a house and then we went to goodwill
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- And we went to salvation army, we went--
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- Bishop jakes: that was a long time ago.
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- Serita: yeah, this wasn't, but you know it was a long--
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- Bishop jakes: i just want to put it in context.
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- Serita: but it's relevant to where we are now, because if you
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- Hadn't been able to give me a house, i couldn't practice on
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- Making a home and so i found out that wherever you are, wherever
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- Your heart is, that's your home.
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- So to me, i had to make certain that wherever you went, you felt
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- Like you were still in a home safe environment.
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- And we didn't--let me tell you, i was teasing sarah because she
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- Was one of our wic babies, she and cora were our wic babies,
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- Jamar and jermaine were our cost right diapers with duct
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- Tape around them because they were falling apart.
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- You don't get to be a home because you've got everything
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- That you need, you get to be a home because you are committed
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- To creating a space of peace and tranquility, not just for
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- Somebody else, but for yourself.
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- I often wonder why david was on the rooftop and peeking at
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- Bathsheba, and i thought, "well, the scripture says, 'it's better
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- To be on the rooftop than dwell in the house with a
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- Brawling woman.'"
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- Dr. james, help me, could it be,
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- Could it be that he was on the rooftop
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- Because michal was raising?
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- I mean, you know, they were celebrating.
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- David, he was out killing lions and bears and and just going
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- Forth and the women were dancing, and he came home and
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- His wife was complaining because he was celebrated.
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- How often is your house not a home
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- For either of you because of the rivalry?
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- The voices from the outside have crept through the windows and
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- Made you discontented,
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- And this is your friend, you're my buddy,
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- And i want what's best for you, even if it's not me.
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- Now i'm gonna say, i'm not gonna leave the potter's house, i'm
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- Gonna sit in the balcony and roll my eyes and say, "but he
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- Can preach, but he ain't nothing."
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- But let me tell you, you've got to concentrate on making your
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- House a home, where you're comfortable with yourself.
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- Some people, you don't even like you, you don't even like
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- Yourself--not what you see in the mirror, but what life has
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- Done to you, has broken your house down, where the walls are
- 00:10:15.464 --> 00:10:21.937
- Leaning, the steps are collapsing because you don't
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- Like you, and so you make it miserable for everybody
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- Around you.
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- You act like the couch is broken.
- 00:10:37.186 --> 00:10:39.655
- All the time, they ask you, "where can i sit?"
- 00:10:39.655 --> 00:10:44.827
- You don't have anywhere to sit because you're so discontented,
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- And life has dealt a lot of you deadly lethal blows, i get it,
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- But let's do some renovating, let's do some renovating.
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- Babe talks about us not having anything, and to me that's why
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- We're here, because it's not the things, you know, it's not
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- The things.
- 00:11:20.029 --> 00:11:21.397
- I like it, but i don't have to have it.
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- I like it, i like to get gussied up and the ripley's are here,
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- They gave me my first designer purse.
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- All of those are things,
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- But who i am,
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- Things didn't make me who i am.
- 00:11:42.251 --> 00:11:49.391
- It was the struggle, pam, it was the no lights and no water and
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- Broken down shoes.
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- One of his ex-girlfriends gave me $5 because she saw runs in
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- My 'hose.
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- Do you not understand the opportunity that you have at
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- This leadership summit to make a home?
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- Male announcer: throughout the ages, history reveals a timeless
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- Truth--that the torch of leadership
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- Not only blazes trails,
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- But lights the path for those who follow.
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- Every era has its torch bearers who inspire, innovate, and take
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- Risks, and when the moment calls for the changing of the guard, a
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- New dawn rises and the flame multiplies.
- 00:13:02.431 --> 00:13:09.605
- This is the international leadership summit, a place
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- Where leaders from all walks are equipped to shape the future.
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- Will your legacy light the way?
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- Bishop jakes: you invested in your career.
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- Are you invested in your children?
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- I don't care whether they're in the church or not, i don't care
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- Whether they finish college or not, i don't care whether they
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- Did what you wanted them to do, i don't care if they went out
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- There and did something different that you don't approve
- 00:13:43.038 --> 00:13:44.940
- Of, i don't care if they in drag, i don't care if they
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- Broke, busted, and disgusted.
- 00:13:47.343 --> 00:13:49.144
- I don't care if they got a girlfriend, a dog, and slept
- 00:13:49.144 --> 00:13:51.647
- With a cat, when you get covid and you're hooked up to a
- 00:13:51.647 --> 00:13:56.118
- Respirator, let me tell you what, girlfriend is coming in
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- There to wipe your head.
- 00:13:59.488 --> 00:14:02.324
- Be glad to see 'em, don't be so self-righteous just because
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- Their sin is different than yours that you mess around and
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- Alienate your children and lock them up.
- 00:14:11.267 --> 00:14:14.737
- I'm talking about winning at a home is not about winning
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- On stage.
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- Winning at home is about winning at home, it's not about winning
- 00:14:20.876 --> 00:14:27.082
- On stage, it's not about using your kids as props in your play.
- 00:14:27.082 --> 00:14:35.257
- So if they don't go to church, you're still my son.
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- If they do go to church, you're still my son.
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- If you sing in the choir, you're still my daughter.
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- If you preach, you're still my daughter.
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- I don't love sarah because she can preach, i don't care whether
- 00:14:45.634 --> 00:14:49.505
- She can preach or not, i love sarah because she's my child.
- 00:14:49.505 --> 00:14:53.108
- I loved her in dirty drawls--
- 00:14:53.108 --> 00:14:58.514
- Sorry.
- 00:14:58.514 --> 00:15:03.218
- Performance based love is not winning,
- 00:15:03.218 --> 00:15:07.656
- Performance based love is not winning, and we're
- 00:15:07.656 --> 00:15:13.095
- Tempted in the church to try to script our children for a photo
- 00:15:13.095 --> 00:15:18.000
- Op, and then if they're not photo ready, you're embarrassed
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- By somebody who would die for you.
- 00:15:26.875 --> 00:15:31.480
- So what we're saying as we close today is that god wants you to
- 00:15:31.480 --> 00:15:36.618
- Get the victory, yes, in the building fund.
- 00:15:36.618 --> 00:15:39.822
- Get the victory as an entrepreneur, that's wonderful.
- 00:15:39.822 --> 00:15:43.192
- Get the victory and get your doctorate degree,
- 00:15:43.192 --> 00:15:45.394
- That's wonderful.
- 00:15:45.394 --> 00:15:46.729
- Get the victory and climb your mountains, get the victory.
- 00:15:46.729 --> 00:15:50.265
- The rumor that i don't support women in power is insane, my
- 00:15:50.265 --> 00:15:55.504
- Mother was a woman in power, my wife is a woman in power, my
- 00:15:55.504 --> 00:16:00.876
- Daughters are women in power.
- 00:16:00.876 --> 00:16:03.145
- You could not know my daughters and think that, because both of
- 00:16:03.145 --> 00:16:06.415
- Them got opinions about everything.
- 00:16:06.415 --> 00:16:08.917
- I have no problem with women in power, i want--half of my
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- Executives are women in power, my cfo is a woman in power, my
- 00:16:12.988 --> 00:16:18.494
- New ceo is a woman in power, i don't have no issues with women
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- In power.
- 00:16:22.498 --> 00:16:23.866
- I was preaching women when other folks said women weren't
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- Supposed to preach.
- 00:16:26.635 --> 00:16:27.970
- I founded woman, thou art loosed, get out of my face.
- 00:16:27.970 --> 00:16:31.040
- Just because somebody says something that you don't like,
- 00:16:31.040 --> 00:16:34.109
- Don't let people tell you who somebody is that has got 30
- 00:16:34.109 --> 00:16:38.047
- Years and 40 years and 50 years of support.
- 00:16:38.047 --> 00:16:41.283
- I founded woman, thou art loosed, i raised up women that
- 00:16:41.283 --> 00:16:44.987
- You never saw and never heard of in your life.
- 00:16:44.987 --> 00:16:47.890
- How dare you say that i don't support women in power?
- 00:16:47.890 --> 00:16:51.360
- It's a lie from the pits of hell, that's why i don't defend
- 00:16:51.360 --> 00:16:55.164
- It, because a lie always got an expiration date, but a truth is
- 00:16:55.164 --> 00:17:01.070
- Gonna live forever.
- 00:17:01.070 --> 00:17:02.571
- I have--women, hear me--i got your back,
- 00:17:02.571 --> 00:17:12.614
- But rest assured,
- 00:17:14.016 --> 00:17:17.352
- Just cause i don't call you don't mean i don't love you,
- 00:17:17.352 --> 00:17:19.955
- Just because i don't call you just means that i stay in my
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- Place, i stay in my place.
- 00:17:23.725 --> 00:17:28.664
- Are you staying in your place?
- 00:17:28.664 --> 00:17:33.836
- Are you standing your ground?
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- You're talking about buying land, are you standing
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- Your ground?
- 00:17:39.675 --> 00:17:41.710
- Your house is your ground, it's a ground wire.
- 00:17:41.710 --> 00:17:48.917
- Are you standing your ground, are you gonna give up your
- 00:17:48.917 --> 00:17:51.920
- Ground wire?
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- Serita: no.
- 00:18:00.796 --> 00:18:06.602
- Bishop jakes: somebody holler, no, go get your daughter, go get
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- Your daughter, i don't care if she's rude and disrespectful, be
- 00:18:13.509 --> 00:18:16.311
- The bigger person.
- 00:18:16.311 --> 00:18:17.713
- Don't pull out your ak-47 on her just because she got mad.
- 00:18:17.713 --> 00:18:22.851
- Sometimes i have to bite my tongue almost in two 'cause my
- 00:18:22.851 --> 00:18:26.688
- Gut reaction, if you come at me wrong or i perceive it to be
- 00:18:26.688 --> 00:18:31.793
- Wrong, or it's got the wrong voice inflection, because of the
- 00:18:31.793 --> 00:18:37.132
- Multitude of diapers that i changed, i participated, i
- 00:18:37.132 --> 00:18:40.736
- Changed diapers, i burped people, i carried my grown son
- 00:18:40.736 --> 00:18:45.407
- On my back.
- 00:18:45.407 --> 00:18:47.409
- He had surgery and he was in pain and he was crying, he's
- 00:18:47.409 --> 00:18:50.779
- 6'4, i'm old, i put him on my back like he was a baby because
- 00:18:50.779 --> 00:18:55.851
- He's my child, and i was patting on him and trying to help him
- 00:18:55.851 --> 00:18:59.788
- Because i love him.
- 00:18:59.788 --> 00:19:02.724
- I flew from nigeria to get back home to get by my oldest son's
- 00:19:02.724 --> 00:19:07.563
- Bed because he had a heart attack, i'm gonna be there.
- 00:19:07.563 --> 00:19:13.168
- Why in the world would i cut you up?
- 00:19:13.168 --> 00:19:18.140
- Why would i turn my weapons loose on you even if you turn
- 00:19:18.140 --> 00:19:22.844
- Yours on me?
- 00:19:22.844 --> 00:19:27.349
- I'm not saying i won't defend myself, but i won't go where i
- 00:19:27.349 --> 00:19:31.553
- Could go, because once you go where you could go, either them
- 00:19:31.553 --> 00:19:37.125
- Toward me or me toward them, you can't get that back.
- 00:19:37.125 --> 00:19:43.031
- Once you start really letting me have it, don't you think "i'm
- 00:19:43.031 --> 00:19:46.735
- Sorry" is gonna make me get amnesia because i--you know
- 00:19:46.735 --> 00:19:52.608
- What i'm gonna be thinking?
- 00:19:52.608 --> 00:19:54.009
- "so that's how you really feel.
- 00:19:54.009 --> 00:19:57.145
- Which one of you is the real you?"
- 00:19:57.145 --> 00:19:58.680
- You know--i'm talking about internal conflict, this is hard,
- 00:19:58.680 --> 00:20:07.089
- This is hard, what i'm talking about is hard.
- 00:20:07.089 --> 00:20:10.826
- Winning at home is hard, the devil would rather you win
- 00:20:10.826 --> 00:20:14.529
- Anywhere than win at home.
- 00:20:14.529 --> 00:20:18.233
- Can you imagine being jesus's mother?
- 00:20:18.233 --> 00:20:25.941
- She raised him, she hid him, she moved, she went down into egypt
- 00:20:25.941 --> 00:20:32.948
- To keep them from killing him, she carried a controversial baby
- 00:20:32.948 --> 00:20:39.621
- In her womb even when joseph was gonna get rid of her.
- 00:20:39.621 --> 00:20:45.027
- And then she followed him all the way to the end, and when she
- 00:20:45.027 --> 00:20:53.902
- Came to church, they said, "your mother's at the door," and jesus
- 00:20:53.902 --> 00:20:59.007
- Said, "who is my mother?"
- 00:20:59.007 --> 00:21:04.146
- How do you think that felt?
- 00:21:04.146 --> 00:21:10.886
- Yet when he is bleeding on the cross, she is standing there,
- 00:21:10.886 --> 00:21:16.558
- Watching him bleed on the cross, not just as a person in need
- 00:21:16.558 --> 00:21:22.064
- Of redemption.
- 00:21:22.064 --> 00:21:25.767
- She was saying, "he's your lord, he's your savior, he's your
- 00:21:25.767 --> 00:21:33.475
- Wonderful counselor, your kinsman, redeemer, your day
- 00:21:33.475 --> 00:21:36.912
- Star, your bulwark, your trumpets, your peace.
- 00:21:36.912 --> 00:21:41.149
- He's a constellation of israel,
- 00:21:41.149 --> 00:21:45.520
- But to me,
- 00:21:45.520 --> 00:21:51.460
- That's my baby on the cross.
- 00:21:51.460 --> 00:21:58.333
- For you, it's who's gonna sit on his right side and who's gonna
- 00:21:58.333 --> 00:22:01.403
- Sit on the left,
- 00:22:01.403 --> 00:22:08.677
- But that's my son on the cross."
- 00:22:08.677 --> 00:22:12.147
- May i never know what that feels like, i don't even want to
- 00:22:12.147 --> 00:22:17.586
- Feel that, i want to live and die and never see my
- 00:22:17.586 --> 00:22:23.325
- Children bleed.
- 00:22:23.325 --> 00:22:26.928
- Some of you have lost your children
- 00:22:26.928 --> 00:22:30.999
- And you know the pain,
- 00:22:30.999 --> 00:22:38.240
- And sometimes we find out too late how valuable people are and
- 00:22:38.240 --> 00:22:44.045
- We love them better dead than we do alive.
- 00:22:44.045 --> 00:22:47.916
- And we come to the funeral screaming over things we should
- 00:22:47.916 --> 00:22:52.020
- Have said when they were living.
- 00:22:52.020 --> 00:22:55.857
- And when the bible says, "neither give place to the
- 00:22:55.857 --> 00:22:58.427
- Devil," it means territory, and family is territory.
- 00:22:58.427 --> 00:23:03.565
- I can't imagine, i can't imagine after 41 years, i can't imagine.
- 00:23:03.565 --> 00:23:10.839
- I'm not perfect, i'm flawed, i'm weird, i'm strange,
- 00:23:10.839 --> 00:23:15.210
- She peculiar,
- 00:23:15.210 --> 00:23:20.382
- I can't imagine living without her,
- 00:23:20.382 --> 00:23:29.024
- I can't even think about it.
- 00:23:29.024 --> 00:23:34.696
- I don't need her talent, i don't need her career, i don't need
- 00:23:34.696 --> 00:23:37.766
- Her money, i need her.
- 00:23:37.766 --> 00:23:47.809
- Anybody who thinks she's a prop, you don't know me.
- 00:23:50.078 --> 00:23:54.816
- My wife passed out, i almost had a seizure, paramedics in our
- 00:23:54.816 --> 00:23:59.554
- Bedroom, they said, "you can follow in the car,"
- 00:23:59.554 --> 00:24:03.358
- I said, "the devil is a liar.
- 00:24:03.358 --> 00:24:06.995
- If anybody gonna be in this ambulance,
- 00:24:06.995 --> 00:24:08.897
- I'mma be in this ambulance in case she need me
- 00:24:08.897 --> 00:24:12.801
- Say something."
- 00:24:12.801 --> 00:24:17.005
- Life is hard, it takes both of you to get through it,
- 00:24:17.005 --> 00:24:24.179
- Not perfect you.
- 00:24:24.179 --> 00:24:25.647
- Broken, flawed you is still valuable.
- 00:24:25.647 --> 00:24:28.617
- If you messed up, you still got value.
- 00:24:28.617 --> 00:24:32.254
- If you blew it, you still got value.
- 00:24:32.254 --> 00:24:34.289
- We gotta teach this in the house because if the children don't
- 00:24:34.289 --> 00:24:38.860
- See this, if they see how easily you can throw people away, when
- 00:24:38.860 --> 00:24:43.331
- You need them, they're gonna throw you away, you're gonna die
- 00:24:43.331 --> 00:24:46.701
- In a nursing home by yourself because you didn't teach
- 00:24:46.701 --> 00:24:50.171
- Stability to children.
- 00:24:50.171 --> 00:24:52.173
- My son tells me, "i'm gonna take care of my momma because i saw
- 00:24:52.173 --> 00:24:55.577
- You take care of yours, and i saw you feed grandma in the
- 00:24:55.577 --> 00:24:59.047
- Middle of the night, and he said, "it's in my nature to be a
- 00:24:59.047 --> 00:25:01.816
- Caretaker because you modeled it in front of me."
- 00:25:01.816 --> 00:25:04.753
- Don't you be surprised if you get old and you don't have
- 00:25:04.753 --> 00:25:07.789
- Nobody by your bed because you never invested in winning
- 00:25:07.789 --> 00:25:12.694
- At home.
- 00:25:12.694 --> 00:25:14.062
- I don't care what you build, i don't care how many millions of
- 00:25:14.062 --> 00:25:17.399
- Dollars you make.
- 00:25:17.399 --> 00:25:18.733
- I don't care if you get a billion dollars, a billion
- 00:25:18.733 --> 00:25:20.769
- Dollars can't wipe your mouth, a billion dollars can't clean your
- 00:25:20.769 --> 00:25:25.073
- Behind, a billion dollars can't take your temperature, a billion
- 00:25:25.073 --> 00:25:29.144
- Dollars can't see about you if you're in need, a billion
- 00:25:29.144 --> 00:25:32.113
- Dollars will not argue with the doctors and say, "no, that's my
- 00:25:32.113 --> 00:25:35.517
- Daddy, and why is he dirty,
- 00:25:35.517 --> 00:25:37.619
- And you gonna do something about that?"
- 00:25:37.619 --> 00:25:48.129
- So figure it out, because i believe that family is the
- 00:25:48.196 --> 00:25:55.136
- Gymnasium that god gave us for love to exercise in.
- 00:25:55.136 --> 00:26:05.013
- Bishop jakes: good soil is us building us.
- 00:26:05.013 --> 00:26:11.586
- Male: it's about integration, not competition.
- 00:26:11.586 --> 00:26:14.089
- You are the change makers.
- 00:26:14.089 --> 00:26:17.125
- Bishop jakes: we don't have to be monolithic in order to
- 00:26:17.125 --> 00:26:20.695
- Be united.
- 00:26:20.695 --> 00:26:22.030
- Mellody hobson: we can transform business in america.
- 00:26:22.030 --> 00:26:24.799
- Vusi thembekwayo: think scale.
- 00:26:24.799 --> 00:26:26.534
- John hope bryant: it's not a reboot, it's a reset.
- 00:26:26.534 --> 00:26:29.571
- Bishop jakes: all of us have seeds of potential in us.
- 00:26:32.774 --> 00:26:37.178
- Male: you got all the dna for success right inside of you.
- 00:26:37.178 --> 00:26:40.448
- Janell stephens: i started in my kitchen, actually, yes.
- 00:26:40.448 --> 00:26:43.385
- Female: i wanna change the idea of what a minority business is.
- 00:26:43.385 --> 00:26:46.855
- Male: the world's shifting.
- 00:26:50.492 --> 00:26:53.895
- Bishop jakes: tomorrow's up for grabs, right now is the moment.
- 00:26:53.895 --> 00:27:00.669
- This is just the beginning.
- 00:27:00.669 --> 00:27:03.204
- Female announcer: feel free to reach out to us on social media
- 00:27:04.606 --> 00:27:06.675
- And share your story of how god is impacting your life.
- 00:27:06.675 --> 00:27:09.978
- We look forward to seeing you next time on
- 00:27:09.978 --> 00:27:12.180
- "the potter's touch."
- 00:27:12.180 --> 00:27:13.581
- ♪ the potter's touch, the potter's touch ♪♪
- 00:27:13.581 --> 00:27:19.688
- Cc by aberdeen captioning 1-800-688-6621 www.aberdeen.io
- 00:27:23.858 --> 00:27:23.858