Fathers and Sons | Episode 10 | TBN

Fathers and Sons | Episode 10

Watch Fathers and Sons | Episode 10
July 8, 2018
26:41

Restoring the Shack

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Fathers and Sons | Episode 10

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  • - PAUL YOUNG: MY NAME IS PAUL YOUNG, AND I'M THE AUTHOR OF THE SHACK.
  • 00:00:03.020 --> 00:00:06.270
  • I WANT TO INVITE YOU ON AN ADVENTURE WITH ME AND
  • 00:00:06.290 --> 00:00:10.070
  • WITH THE BOOK.
  • 00:00:10.090 --> 00:00:11.210
  • A LOT OF YOU HAVE READ IT.
  • 00:00:11.230 --> 00:00:13.010
  • YOU HAVE QUESTIONS.
  • 00:00:13.030 --> 00:00:14.200
  • SOME OF YOU HAVE JUST HEARD ABOUT IT AND YOU
  • 00:00:14.220 --> 00:00:16.070
  • HAVE QUESTIONS.
  • 00:00:16.090 --> 00:00:18.050
  • THIS IS A BOOK THAT ALLOWS US TO EXPLORE RELATIONSHIP
  • 00:00:18.070 --> 00:00:21.230
  • WITH THE FATHER, SON AND HOLY SPIRIT, QUESTIONS THAT WE
  • 00:00:21.250 --> 00:00:24.200
  • HAVE ABOUT HURT AND LOSS AND GRIEF, QUESTIONS
  • 00:00:24.220 --> 00:00:29.150
  • ABOUT WONDER AND BEAUTY AND JOY.
  • 00:00:29.170 --> 00:00:33.180
  • WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO LIVE A LIFE OF FAITH?
  • 00:00:33.200 --> 00:00:36.260
  • WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT DEATH?
  • 00:00:36.280 --> 00:00:39.080
  • WHY DO TRAGIC THINGS HAPPEN TO US?
  • 00:00:39.100 --> 00:00:42.270
  • THESE ARE THE QUESTIONS THAT WE WANT TO EXPLORE,
  • 00:00:42.290 --> 00:00:47.010
  • AND I WOULD LOVE YOU TO COME WITH ME.
  • 00:00:47.030 --> 00:00:49.140
  • THIS IS AN INVITATION.
  • 00:00:49.160 --> 00:00:50.280
  • 00:00:51.000 --> 00:01:02.090
  • 00:01:02.090 --> 00:01:09.270
  • - I'M GOING TO READ TO YOU A LITTLE BIT OUT OF
  • 00:01:09.290 --> 00:01:11.180
  • THE CHAPTER CALLED A PIECE OF PIE.
  • 00:01:11.200 --> 00:01:16.050
  • AT THAT, PAPA PUT DOWN THE MIXING BOWL THAT HAD
  • 00:01:16.070 --> 00:01:18.060
  • BEEN CRADLED IN HER ARM AND LEAVING THE WOODEN
  • 00:01:18.080 --> 00:01:20.070
  • SPOON IN IT, SHE TURNED TOWARD MACK
  • 00:01:20.090 --> 00:01:22.180
  • WITH TENDER EYES.
  • 00:01:22.200 --> 00:01:24.150
  • SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO SAY IT.
  • 00:01:24.170 --> 00:01:26.110
  • HE KNEW SHE UNDERSTOOD WHAT WAS GOING ON INSIDE
  • 00:01:26.130 --> 00:01:28.270
  • OF HIM AND SOMEHOW HE KNEW SHE CARED ABOUT HIM
  • 00:01:28.290 --> 00:01:33.140
  • MORE THAN ANYONE EVER HAD.
  • 00:01:33.160 --> 00:01:35.180
  • IF YOU LET ME, MACK, I'LL BE THE PAPA YOU NEVER HAD.
  • 00:01:35.200 --> 00:01:40.070
  • THE OFFER WAS AT ONCE INVITING AND AT THE SAME
  • 00:01:40.090 --> 00:01:42.200
  • TIME REPULSIVE.
  • 00:01:42.220 --> 00:01:44.130
  • HE ALWAYS WANTED A PAPA HE COULD TRUST, BUT HE
  • 00:01:44.150 --> 00:01:48.000
  • WASN'T SURE HE'D FIND IT HERE ESPECIALLY IF THIS
  • 00:01:48.020 --> 00:01:51.220
  • ONE COULDN'T EVEN PROTECT HIS MISSY.
  • 00:01:51.240 --> 00:01:54.010
  • A LONG SILENCE HUNG BETWEEN THEM.
  • 00:01:54.030 --> 00:01:56.260
  • MACK WAS UNCERTAIN WHAT TO SAY,
  • 00:01:56.280 --> 00:01:59.120
  • AND SHE WAS IN NO HURRY TO LET THE MOMENT
  • 00:01:59.140 --> 00:02:02.080
  • PASS EASILY.
  • 00:02:02.100 --> 00:02:07.220
  • OUR PARENTS HAD A HUGE IMPACT ON US EITHER
  • 00:02:07.240 --> 00:02:12.180
  • BECAUSE OF THEIR PRESENCE OR BECAUSE OF
  • 00:02:12.200 --> 00:02:15.220
  • THEIR ABSENCE.
  • 00:02:15.240 --> 00:02:17.190
  • THOSE OF US WHO GREW UP AS ORPHANS OR THOSE OF US
  • 00:02:17.210 --> 00:02:19.260
  • WHO GREW UP LOSING A PARENT EARLY OR WITH
  • 00:02:19.280 --> 00:02:23.260
  • ABUSIVE PARENTS WERE GREATLY IMPACTED BY THEM.
  • 00:02:23.280 --> 00:02:28.070
  • THE RIPPLES OF THEIR CHOICES AND OUR
  • 00:02:28.090 --> 00:02:31.140
  • INTERACTION WITH THEM CONTINUE.
  • 00:02:31.160 --> 00:02:34.090
  • 00:02:34.110 --> 00:02:47.220
  • 00:02:47.220 --> 00:02:58.070
  • - AH. STONES.
  • 00:02:58.090 --> 00:03:01.250
  • THEY'RE LIKE WORDS.
  • 00:03:01.270 --> 00:03:04.080
  • IN A CREEK LIKE THIS, A LITTLE MINI RIVER, YOU
  • 00:03:04.100 --> 00:03:07.270
  • CAN'T EVEN SEE WHERE THE RIPPLES GO.
  • 00:03:07.290 --> 00:03:10.010
  • I DID SKIP IT A COUPLE TIMES, BUT IN A LAKE A
  • 00:03:10.030 --> 00:03:12.240
  • LOT EASIER.
  • 00:03:12.260 --> 00:03:15.080
  • THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN STONES AND WORDS IS THAT
  • 00:03:15.100 --> 00:03:17.180
  • WORDS WILL RIPPLE ON FOREVER.
  • 00:03:17.200 --> 00:03:19.280
  • WORDS MATTER.
  • 00:03:20.000 --> 00:03:21.200
  • WE GET TRAINED BY WORDS.
  • 00:03:21.220 --> 00:03:24.180
  • WORDS SHAPE THE WAY WE THINK ABOUT OURSELVES,
  • 00:03:24.200 --> 00:03:27.120
  • THE WAY WE THINK ABOUT GOD.
  • 00:03:27.140 --> 00:03:29.140
  • WORDS.
  • 00:03:29.160 --> 00:03:31.180
  • I WANT TO TALK TO YOU TODAY ABOUT ONE OF THE
  • 00:03:31.200 --> 00:03:34.080
  • MOST IMPORTANT THINGS THAT I THINK THAT I CAN
  • 00:03:34.100 --> 00:03:37.050
  • EVER TELL YOU ABOUT, AND IT HAS TO DO WITH THE
  • 00:03:37.070 --> 00:03:39.270
  • IDEA OF WHOLENESS.
  • 00:03:39.290 --> 00:03:42.100
  • W-H-O-L-E-N-E-S-S, WHOLENESS.
  • 00:03:42.120 --> 00:03:48.010
  • AN INTEGRATED PERSON.
  • 00:03:48.030 --> 00:03:50.160
  • GOD IS WHOLE.
  • 00:03:50.180 --> 00:03:52.220
  • GOD IS HOLY.
  • 00:03:52.240 --> 00:03:54.220
  • HOLY IS OTHERNESS
  • 00:03:54.240 --> 00:03:57.010
  • THAT IS COMPLETELY INTEGRATED WITHIN GOD'S
  • 00:03:57.030 --> 00:04:00.240
  • VERY BEING, AND WE'RE DESIGNED TO BE WHOLE PEOPLE.
  • 00:04:00.260 --> 00:04:03.290
  • BUT HOW DO WE EVEN BEGIN TO I UNDERSTAND IT?
  • 00:04:04.010 --> 00:04:07.190
  • WHOLENESS IS WHEN THE WAY OF YOUR BEING MATCHES THE
  • 00:04:07.210 --> 00:04:12.080
  • TRUTH OF YOUR BEING.
  • 00:04:12.100 --> 00:04:14.070
  • LET ME SAY IT AGAIN.
  • 00:04:14.090 --> 00:04:15.260
  • WHOLENESS IS WHEN THE WAY OF YOUR BEING, HOW YOU
  • 00:04:15.280 --> 00:04:19.250
  • LIVE YOUR LIFE, THE CHOICES THAT YOU MAKE,
  • 00:04:19.270 --> 00:04:23.260
  • WHEN THE WAY OF YOUR BEING MATCHES THE TRUTH
  • 00:04:23.280 --> 00:04:26.250
  • OF YOUR BEING, SO THE QUESTION THEN IS, WHAT IS
  • 00:04:26.270 --> 00:04:30.260
  • THE TRUTH OF YOUR BEING?
  • 00:04:30.280 --> 00:04:33.020
  • 00:04:33.040 --> 00:04:34.270
  • - CAR LEAVES IN 20 SECONDS.
  • 00:04:34.290 --> 00:04:37.010
  • - WE GOT TO GO.
  • 00:04:37.030 --> 00:04:37.230
  • LET'S GO.
  • 00:04:37.250 --> 00:04:40.040
  • - DO YOU THINK THE PRINCESS SHOULD HAVE A RED DRESS
  • 00:04:40.060 --> 00:04:42.090
  • LIKE MINE?
  • 00:04:42.110 --> 00:04:43.130
  • - RED IT IS.
  • 00:04:43.150 --> 00:04:46.000
  • 00:04:46.020 --> 00:04:47.000
  • - WHERE'S MISSY?
  • 00:04:47.020 --> 00:04:48.200
  • - MISSY!
  • 00:04:48.220 --> 00:04:50.010
  • - WHERE'S MISSY?
  • 00:04:50.030 --> 00:04:51.060
  • - SORRY, MACK. THEY HAVEN'T SEEN HER.
  • 00:04:51.080 --> 00:04:52.170
  • - MISSY! MISSY!
  • 00:04:52.190 --> 00:04:55.070
  • [ SIREN BLARES ]
  • 00:04:55.090 --> 00:04:57.090
  • - I WAS SCARED, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
  • 00:04:57.110 --> 00:04:59.190
  • - GROUND TEAMS FOUND A TRUCK IN THE MOUNTAINS!
  • 00:04:59.210 --> 00:05:04.000
  • I'M REALLY SORRY, MR. PHILLIPS.
  • 00:05:04.020 --> 00:05:07.200
  • [ SCREAMING ]
  • 00:05:07.220 --> 00:05:10.250
  • 00:05:10.270 --> 00:05:13.100
  • - WANT SOME HELP OVER THERE?
  • 00:05:13.120 --> 00:05:14.150
  • - I'M OKAY.
  • 00:05:14.170 --> 00:05:15.260
  • - HOW ABOUT SOME DINNER TONIGHT?
  • 00:05:15.280 --> 00:05:16.290
  • - MAYBE NEXT TIME.
  • 00:05:17.010 --> 00:05:19.120
  • [ SCREAMING ]
  • 00:05:19.140 --> 00:05:22.060
  • [SOBBING] I'M SORRY.
  • 00:05:22.080 --> 00:05:23.060
  • I'M SO SORRY.
  • 00:05:23.080 --> 00:05:24.220
  • - WE'VE LOST SO MUCH ALREADY.
  • 00:05:24.240 --> 00:05:26.160
  • I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU, TOO.
  • 00:05:26.180 --> 00:05:30.110
  • - A LETTER SHOWED UP IN MY MAILBOX WITH NO TRACKS
  • 00:05:30.130 --> 00:05:32.060
  • IN THE SNOW.
  • 00:05:32.080 --> 00:05:33.180
  • - YOU'RE NOT THINKING ABOUT GOING BACK THERE,
  • 00:05:33.200 --> 00:05:34.170
  • ARE YOU?
  • 00:05:34.190 --> 00:05:35.110
  • - I GOT TO DO SOMETHING.
  • 00:05:35.130 --> 00:05:37.010
  • - YOU KNOW THIS ISN'T A GOOD IDEA.
  • 00:05:37.030 --> 00:05:38.130
  • - IT'S CRAZY, BUT THIS IS ALL I GOT.
  • 00:05:38.150 --> 00:05:42.080
  • 00:05:42.100 --> 00:05:44.040
  • - GOT A FIRE GOING INSIDE IF YOU WANT TO WARM UP.
  • 00:05:44.060 --> 00:05:46.290
  • 00:05:47.010 --> 00:05:49.270
  • - MACKENZIE ALLEN PHILLIPS.
  • 00:05:49.290 --> 00:05:52.240
  • I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS.
  • 00:05:52.260 --> 00:05:54.260
  • - DO I KNOW YOU?
  • 00:05:54.280 --> 00:05:56.020
  • - NOT VERY WELL, BUT WE CAN WORK ON THAT.
  • 00:05:56.040 --> 00:05:59.210
  • - THIS IS INCREDIBLE.
  • 00:05:59.230 --> 00:06:01.040
  • - ARE YOU STILL HAVING A HARD TIME BELIEVING
  • 00:06:01.060 --> 00:06:02.100
  • THIS IS REAL?
  • 00:06:02.120 --> 00:06:03.210
  • - WHY DID YOU BRING ME HERE?
  • 00:06:03.230 --> 00:06:05.110
  • - THERE'S NO EASY ANSWER THAT WILL TAKE YOUR PAIN AWAY.
  • 00:06:05.130 --> 00:06:07.270
  • - WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU?
  • 00:06:07.290 --> 00:06:09.200
  • - I NEVER LEFT YOU.
  • 00:06:09.220 --> 00:06:11.030
  • I NEVER LEFT MISSY.
  • 00:06:11.050 --> 00:06:12.190
  • AIN'T IT JUST LIKE A TEAR TO GO AND BLUR ...
  • 00:06:12.210 --> 00:06:16.000
  • YOU WANT ME TO FORGIVE HIM.
  • 00:06:16.020 --> 00:06:17.110
  • I WANT HIM TO HURT LIKE HE HURT ME.
  • 00:06:17.130 --> 00:06:21.090
  • - YOU WANT THE PROMISE OF A PAIN FREE LIFE.
  • 00:06:21.110 --> 00:06:23.180
  • - YEAH.
  • 00:06:23.200 --> 00:06:24.160
  • - THERE ISN'T ONE.
  • 00:06:24.180 --> 00:06:26.100
  • 00:06:26.120 --> 00:06:27.150
  • - YOU CAN DO THIS.
  • 00:06:27.170 --> 00:06:28.120
  • - I CAN'T.
  • 00:06:28.140 --> 00:06:29.110
  • - ON YOUR OWN YOU CAN'T.
  • 00:06:29.130 --> 00:06:31.010
  • - THIS IS YOUR FLYING LESSON.
  • 00:06:31.030 --> 00:06:32.170
  • 00:06:32.190 --> 00:06:38.290
  • 00:06:38.290 --> 00:06:46.150
  • - I BELIEVE IN YOU.
  • 00:06:46.170 --> 00:06:47.270
  • KEEP YOUR EYES ON ME ...
  • 00:06:47.290 --> 00:06:51.280
  • 00:06:52.000 --> 00:07:03.010
  • 00:07:03.010 --> 00:07:10.190
  • - HERE I THINK IS WHERE WESTERN THEOLOGY HAS DONE
  • 00:07:10.210 --> 00:07:14.110
  • US A TREMENDOUS DISSERVICE.
  • 00:07:14.130 --> 00:07:18.120
  • WE HAVE BEEN TOLD FROM THE TIME WE WERE LITTLE
  • 00:07:18.140 --> 00:07:21.050
  • THE LAST FEW HUNDRED YEARS THAT THE TRUTH OF
  • 00:07:21.070 --> 00:07:24.030
  • OUR BEING IS WORTHLESSNESS, OR DEPRAVITY IS A
  • 00:07:24.050 --> 00:07:28.280
  • COMMON WORD THAT IS USED.
  • 00:07:29.000 --> 00:07:32.020
  • IT IS LIKE WE'RE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
  • 00:07:32.040 --> 00:07:36.170
  • AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW THAT THE TRUTH OF YOUR
  • 00:07:36.190 --> 00:07:42.010
  • BEING IS ANYTHING GOOD, THEN YOU'RE GOING TO LIVE
  • 00:07:42.030 --> 00:07:45.120
  • YOUR LIFE AS AN EXPRESSION OF WHAT YOU
  • 00:07:45.140 --> 00:07:47.230
  • BELIEVE IS THE TRUTH OF YOUR BEING.
  • 00:07:47.250 --> 00:07:50.250
  • AND IF YOU THINK YOU'RE WORTHLESS AND YOU THINK
  • 00:07:50.270 --> 00:07:53.130
  • YOU'RE DEPRAVED AND YOU THINK YOU'RE JUST A
  • 00:07:53.150 --> 00:07:55.110
  • WRETCH, DON'T BE SURPRISED IF YOUR LIFE
  • 00:07:55.130 --> 00:07:58.260
  • BEGINS TO EXHIBIT THOSE KINDS OF PATTERNS.
  • 00:07:58.280 --> 00:08:02.090
  • HERE'S THE PROBLEM.
  • 00:08:02.110 --> 00:08:04.020
  • IF THAT'S THE TRUTH OF MY BEING, THAT I'M A
  • 00:08:04.040 --> 00:08:07.060
  • WORTHLESS PIECE OF-- THAT MEANS THAT WHEN I TRY TO
  • 00:08:07.080 --> 00:08:12.070
  • PRESENT TO GOD OR TO ANYBODY ELSE
  • 00:08:12.090 --> 00:08:14.270
  • RIGHTEOUSNESS OR RIGHT LIVING, I'M FAKING IT.
  • 00:08:14.290 --> 00:08:19.140
  • I'M TRYING TO PUT ON SOME KIND OF CLOTHES OF
  • 00:08:19.160 --> 00:08:22.290
  • PERFORMANCE TO COVER UP THAT I REALLY THINK AND
  • 00:08:23.010 --> 00:08:26.110
  • BELIEVE THAT I'M A PIECE OF CRAP.
  • 00:08:26.130 --> 00:08:28.280
  • THIS IS PIECE OF CRAP THEOLOGY THAT, THE TRUTH
  • 00:08:29.000 --> 00:08:32.110
  • OF OUR BEING IS SOMETHING THAT IS DEPLORABLE,
  • 00:08:32.130 --> 00:08:36.030
  • DESTROYED, WORTHLESS, SHAMEFUL.
  • 00:08:36.050 --> 00:08:42.090
  • AND WE HAVE BEEN TAUGHT THAT.
  • 00:08:42.110 --> 00:08:44.130
  • ANOTHER PIECE THAT COMES INTO THIS IS YES, YOU'RE
  • 00:08:44.150 --> 00:08:49.080
  • WRETCHED AND NOTHING IS GOOD IN YOU.
  • 00:08:49.100 --> 00:08:52.150
  • WE EVEN HAVE SONGS, RIGHT?
  • 00:08:52.170 --> 00:08:54.160
  • GOD YOU ARE GOOD, YOU ARE GOOD, BUT THERE'S
  • 00:08:54.180 --> 00:08:55.280
  • NOTHING GOOD IN ME...
  • 00:08:56.000 --> 00:08:58.050
  • REALLY?
  • 00:08:58.070 --> 00:08:59.250
  • WELL, IF THAT'S TRUE THERE'S ALSO NO HOPE FOR
  • 00:08:59.270 --> 00:09:02.120
  • ME, AND WE HAVE THIS SENSE THAT WELL, JESUS
  • 00:09:02.140 --> 00:09:06.080
  • CAN COVER UP THE FACT THAT YOU'RE A PIECE OF
  • 00:09:06.100 --> 00:09:08.120
  • CRAP SO THAT GOD THE FATHER DOESN'T REALLY SEE
  • 00:09:08.140 --> 00:09:10.190
  • YOU FOR THE WORTHLESS BEING THAT YOU ARE.
  • 00:09:10.210 --> 00:09:14.050
  • THIS KIND OF THEOLOGY DRIVES US RIGHT INTO THE
  • 00:09:14.070 --> 00:09:18.070
  • GROUND, AND WE BECOME ABSOLUTELY HOPELESS.
  • 00:09:18.090 --> 00:09:22.120
  • AS A PERSON THINKS IN THEIR HEART SO ARE THEY,
  • 00:09:22.140 --> 00:09:28.050
  • SO THE QUESTION IS, WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE ABOUT THE
  • 00:09:28.070 --> 00:09:31.220
  • DEEPEST TRUTH OF YOURSELF?
  • 00:09:31.240 --> 00:09:33.280
  • FOR A LOT OF US, IT FEELS WRONG TO SAY THERE'S
  • 00:09:34.000 --> 00:09:36.230
  • SOMETHING GOOD IN ME, BUT LET ME ASK YOU, DOES GOD
  • 00:09:36.250 --> 00:09:41.000
  • CREATE ANYTHING THAT'S NOT GOOD?
  • 00:09:41.020 --> 00:09:43.070
  • IF YOU READ GENESIS, IT'S GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD,
  • 00:09:43.090 --> 00:09:46.200
  • VERY GOOD.
  • 00:09:46.220 --> 00:09:49.290
  • THERE HAS TO BE A VERY GOOD CREATION BEFORE
  • 00:09:50.010 --> 00:09:53.270
  • ANYTHING GOT BROKEN.
  • 00:09:53.290 --> 00:09:56.030
  • THERE IS A TRUTH ABOUT WHO YOU ARE, AND THE FACT
  • 00:09:56.050 --> 00:10:00.240
  • THAT YOU ARE A VERY GOOD CREATION AND WORTHY OF
  • 00:10:00.260 --> 00:10:03.210
  • BEING LOVED THAT IS MORE FUNDAMENTAL THAN ANY OF
  • 00:10:03.230 --> 00:10:07.060
  • THE DAMAGE IN YOUR LIFE, ANY OF THE ABUSE THAT
  • 00:10:07.080 --> 00:10:10.030
  • YOU'VE EXPERIENCED, ANY OF THE SENSE OF LOSTNESS
  • 00:10:10.050 --> 00:10:13.160
  • AND CONFUSION, DARKNESS AND DESPAIR.
  • 00:10:13.180 --> 00:10:17.160
  • THERE IS SOMETHING DEEPER AND MORE FUNDAMENTALLY
  • 00:10:17.180 --> 00:10:19.240
  • TRUE ABOUT YOU, AND THAT'S A PLACE THAT YOU
  • 00:10:19.260 --> 00:10:22.040
  • CAN STAND AND GROW WITH.
  • 00:10:22.060 --> 00:10:24.140
  • 00:10:24.160 --> 00:10:35.280
  • 00:10:35.280 --> 00:10:43.140
  • - LET ME EXPLAIN THIS IN TERMS OF MY RELATIONSHIP
  • 00:10:43.160 --> 00:10:45.120
  • WITH MY DAD.
  • 00:10:45.140 --> 00:10:47.240
  • WHEN MY DAD WOULD COME AT ME WITH HIS FURY, AND HE
  • 00:10:47.260 --> 00:10:50.120
  • WAS A STRICT DISCIPLINARIAN, I TRIED TO DEFEND
  • 00:10:50.140 --> 00:10:56.280
  • MYSELF BY YELLING THREE WORDS, AND I DON'T EVEN
  • 00:10:57.000 --> 00:11:00.180
  • KNOW WHY THIS ORIGINATED BUT IT WAS MY ONLY
  • 00:11:00.200 --> 00:11:03.230
  • DEFENSE, AND THOSE THREE WORDS WERE, "I'LL BE GOOD."
  • 00:11:03.250 --> 00:11:11.220
  • AND AS HE WOULD COME AT ME, I'D YELL IT OVER AND
  • 00:11:11.240 --> 00:11:14.100
  • OVER, "I'LL BE GOOD, I'LL BE GOOD, I'LL BE GOOD!"
  • 00:11:14.120 --> 00:11:20.070
  • AND EVERY TIME I SAID IT, I WAS MAKING A
  • 00:11:20.090 --> 00:11:22.230
  • DECLARATION TO MYSELF AND THE UNIVERSE THAT I'M NOT
  • 00:11:22.250 --> 00:11:25.260
  • GOOD, AND I'M SAYING IF YOU COULD JUST GIVE ME
  • 00:11:25.280 --> 00:11:28.230
  • ANOTHER CHANCE, IF YOU COULD JUST GIVE ME ONE
  • 00:11:28.250 --> 00:11:34.150
  • MORE OPPORTUNITY, I WILL TRY TO DO WHAT'S
  • 00:11:34.170 --> 00:11:36.130
  • NECESSARY IN ORDER TO WIN YOUR AFFECTION
  • 00:11:36.150 --> 00:11:38.220
  • AND APPROVAL.
  • 00:11:38.240 --> 00:11:40.110
  • HOW MANY OF US HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD
  • 00:11:40.130 --> 00:11:42.160
  • THAT LOOKS JUST LIKE THAT?
  • 00:11:42.180 --> 00:11:46.010
  • WE KEEP REDEDICATING OURSELVES OVER AND OVER.
  • 00:11:46.030 --> 00:11:48.070
  • WE KEEP TRYING TO PRODUCE A RIGHTEOUSNESS THAT IS
  • 00:11:48.090 --> 00:11:51.050
  • BASED ON SELF-DISCIPLINE AND PERFORMANCE, AND IT
  • 00:11:51.070 --> 00:11:54.190
  • LITERALLY DRIVES US INTO THE GROUND.
  • 00:11:54.210 --> 00:11:59.120
  • SO WHAT IS THE TRUTH OF OUR BEING?
  • 00:11:59.140 --> 00:12:01.160
  • JESUS CAME TO REVEAL TO THE UNIVERSE THE TRUTH
  • 00:12:01.180 --> 00:12:06.000
  • OF OUR BEING.
  • 00:12:06.020 --> 00:12:07.120
  • HE IS THE TRUTH OF OUR BEING.
  • 00:12:07.140 --> 00:12:09.140
  • WHEN IT TALKS ABOUT THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT, IT
  • 00:12:09.160 --> 00:12:12.240
  • IS DESCRIBING WHAT WE'RE DESIGNED TO BE IN THE
  • 00:12:12.260 --> 00:12:16.230
  • IMAGE OF GOD.
  • 00:12:16.250 --> 00:12:19.060
  • THE TRUTH OF MY BEING, I'M KIND, I'M PATIENT,
  • 00:12:19.080 --> 00:12:24.070
  • I'M PURE OF HEART, AND ONCE I BEGIN TO BELIEVE
  • 00:12:24.090 --> 00:12:28.080
  • THESE THINGS ABOUT MYSELF WHICH I DO BELIEVE IS THE
  • 00:12:28.100 --> 00:12:31.000
  • TRUTH, THE WAY OF MY BEING BEGINS TO
  • 00:12:31.020 --> 00:12:34.080
  • NATURALLY MATCH IT.
  • 00:12:34.100 --> 00:12:36.050
  • THIS IS WHY NOBODY PRAYS FOR PATIENCE IN THE NEW
  • 00:12:36.070 --> 00:12:39.220
  • TESTAMENT AND AGAIN, WE HAVE A CONCEPT OF GOD WHO
  • 00:12:39.240 --> 00:12:42.060
  • IS DISTANT AND READY TO BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF US, RIGHT?
  • 00:12:42.080 --> 00:12:46.180
  • SO WE DON'T PRAY FOR PATIENCE BECAUSE WE'RE
  • 00:12:46.200 --> 00:12:49.280
  • AFRAID GOD IS GOING TO SET UP A SET OF
  • 00:12:50.000 --> 00:12:51.270
  • CIRCUMSTANCES THAT WILL HURT US.
  • 00:12:51.290 --> 00:12:54.150
  • PEOPLE LAUGH, DON'T PRAY FOR PATIENCE.
  • 00:12:54.170 --> 00:12:56.050
  • WELL, IN THE NEW TESTAMENT THEY DIDN'T
  • 00:12:56.070 --> 00:12:58.200
  • PRAY FOR PATIENCE.
  • 00:12:58.220 --> 00:13:00.030
  • YOU KNOW WHY?
  • 00:13:00.050 --> 00:13:01.290
  • BECAUSE THEY KNEW WHAT THE TRUTH OF THEIR BEING WAS.
  • 00:13:02.010 --> 00:13:03.190
  • WHY SHOULD THEY PRAY FOR SOMETHING THAT THEY
  • 00:13:03.210 --> 00:13:05.210
  • ALREADY KNEW WAS TRUE ABOUT THEMSELVES?
  • 00:13:05.230 --> 00:13:07.260
  • I AM BY NATURE IN CHRIST BECAUSE OF NOT ONLY BEING
  • 00:13:07.280 --> 00:13:13.110
  • A VERY GOOD CREATION TO BEGIN WITH BUT A NEW
  • 00:13:13.130 --> 00:13:16.230
  • CREATION, I AM PATIENT BY NATURE.
  • 00:13:16.250 --> 00:13:19.290
  • FOR ME TO ACT IMPATIENTLY IS TO ACTUALLY GO
  • 00:13:20.010 --> 00:13:22.200
  • CONTRARY TO MY NATURE.
  • 00:13:22.220 --> 00:13:24.110
  • THAT'S WHY IT CREATES THIS SENSE OF
  • 00:13:24.130 --> 00:13:26.030
  • TENSION WITHIN ME.
  • 00:13:26.050 --> 00:13:27.240
  • FOR ME TO ACT RIGHTEOUSLY,
  • 00:13:27.260 --> 00:13:30.200
  • AUTHENTICALLY, HONESTLY, OPENLY IS THE MOST
  • 00:13:30.220 --> 00:13:35.020
  • NATURAL THING FOR ME IF I KNOW WHO I AM.
  • 00:13:35.040 --> 00:13:38.150
  • 00:13:38.170 --> 00:13:51.280
  • 00:13:51.280 --> 00:13:59.240
  • - NONE OF US DOESN'T PASS ALONG A LITTLE
  • 00:13:59.260 --> 00:14:02.240
  • BAGGAGE TO OUR CHILDREN.
  • 00:14:02.260 --> 00:14:05.160
  • NOBODY'S A PERFECT PARENT, AND WE CAN
  • 00:14:05.180 --> 00:14:08.010
  • TRY OUR BEST.
  • 00:14:08.030 --> 00:14:09.140
  • I'M A BETTER GRANDPARENT THAN I EVER WAS A PARENT
  • 00:14:09.160 --> 00:14:12.010
  • AND THAT'S NOT AN UNCOMMON EXPERIENCE.
  • 00:14:12.030 --> 00:14:15.190
  • RELIGIOUS IDEAS CAN ALSO PARENT US, SOMETIMES WITH
  • 00:14:15.210 --> 00:14:18.270
  • DEVASTATING IMPACT, SOMETIMES
  • 00:14:18.290 --> 00:14:20.260
  • INCREDIBLY HELPFULLY.
  • 00:14:20.280 --> 00:14:23.060
  • OUR IDEAS MATTER AND THE WORDS THAT WE'VE BEEN
  • 00:14:23.080 --> 00:14:27.150
  • TAUGHT MATTER.
  • 00:14:27.170 --> 00:14:29.140
  • I WANT TO USE AN EXAMPLE THAT IS A LITTLE BIT
  • 00:14:29.160 --> 00:14:32.030
  • EXTREME, BUT I THINK YOU'LL GET THE POINT, AND
  • 00:14:32.050 --> 00:14:35.050
  • I THINK IT WILL BE VERY HELPFUL.
  • 00:14:35.070 --> 00:14:39.070
  • IT'S THE ISSUE OF PORNOGRAPHY.
  • 00:14:39.090 --> 00:14:41.250
  • PORNOGRAPHY IS RAMPANT ESPECIALLY WITHIN THE
  • 00:14:41.270 --> 00:14:46.000
  • REALM OF RELIGIOUS AND REALLY
  • 00:14:46.020 --> 00:14:48.290
  • LEGALISTICALLY RELIGIOUS ENVIRONMENTS.
  • 00:14:49.010 --> 00:14:51.270
  • IT SEEMS THAT THE MORE WE GET LOST IN OUR HEADS THE
  • 00:14:51.290 --> 00:14:55.170
  • GREATER OUR SUSCEPTIBILITY TO THINGS
  • 00:14:55.190 --> 00:14:58.000
  • LIKE PORNOGRAPHY.
  • 00:14:58.020 --> 00:15:00.090
  • PARTLY DUE TO MY OWN HISTORY OF SEXUAL ABUSE
  • 00:15:00.110 --> 00:15:02.150
  • AND ALL THAT KIND OF STUFF I WAS AN EASY
  • 00:15:02.170 --> 00:15:05.070
  • TARGET, AND I WAS HORRIBLY ADDICTED.
  • 00:15:05.090 --> 00:15:10.000
  • I DRAGGED IT INTO MY MARRIAGE.
  • 00:15:10.020 --> 00:15:12.000
  • KIM WAS UNAWARE OF IT, AND I DIDN'T DEAL WITH IT
  • 00:15:12.020 --> 00:15:15.070
  • UNTIL MY WHOLE WORLD BLEW UP.
  • 00:15:15.090 --> 00:15:19.130
  • I HAVEN'T HAD ANY ISSUE WITH PORN FOR 20 SOME
  • 00:15:19.150 --> 00:15:22.010
  • YEARS, AND I'M NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT KIND OF
  • 00:15:22.030 --> 00:15:25.120
  • AN ISSUE.
  • 00:15:25.140 --> 00:15:27.120
  • IT DOESN'T HAVE AN IMPACT ON ME WHATSOEVER, AND I
  • 00:15:27.140 --> 00:15:30.100
  • COULDN'T GET PAST IT AS A YOUNGER MAN,
  • 00:15:30.120 --> 00:15:35.110
  • SO WHAT HAPPENED?
  • 00:15:35.130 --> 00:15:37.120
  • DID I FINALLY GET A HOLD OF SELF-DISCIPLINE AND
  • 00:15:37.140 --> 00:15:40.080
  • SELF-DISCIPLINE MYSELF TO SUCH A DEGREE THAT IT WAS
  • 00:15:40.100 --> 00:15:43.270
  • NO LONGER AN ISSUE?
  • 00:15:43.290 --> 00:15:45.240
  • NO. SELF-DISCIPLINE IS A WORK OF THE FLESH.
  • 00:15:45.260 --> 00:15:48.230
  • IT COMES FROM THE OUTSIDE IN, AND THOSE OF US WHO
  • 00:15:48.250 --> 00:15:50.260
  • ARE BROKEN WE DON'T EVEN STAND A CHANCE THAT WE'RE
  • 00:15:50.280 --> 00:15:53.040
  • GOING TO HOLD ONTO SELF-DISCIPLINE FOR VERY LONG.
  • 00:15:53.060 --> 00:15:56.190
  • IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME.
  • 00:15:56.210 --> 00:15:58.100
  • SELF-CONTROL, FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT COMES FROM
  • 00:15:58.120 --> 00:16:00.280
  • THE INSIDE OUT.
  • 00:16:01.000 --> 00:16:02.210
  • THAT'S VERY DIFFERENT.
  • 00:16:02.230 --> 00:16:04.000
  • IT WASN'T SELF-DISCIPLINE.
  • 00:16:04.020 --> 00:16:05.130
  • WAS IT THAT I GOT SO SCARED OF GOD THAT I WAS
  • 00:16:05.150 --> 00:16:08.050
  • AFRAID THAT I WAS GOING TO END UP IN HELL IF I
  • 00:16:08.070 --> 00:16:10.040
  • DIDN'T DEAL WITH THIS ADDICTION? NO.
  • 00:16:10.060 --> 00:16:13.100
  • YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND PORN IS THE IMAGINATION
  • 00:16:13.120 --> 00:16:16.220
  • OF A RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT THE RISK OF A REAL ONE.
  • 00:16:16.240 --> 00:16:19.230
  • PORN IS DEVASTATING.
  • 00:16:19.250 --> 00:16:21.280
  • YOU DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH AN ACTUAL PERSON.
  • 00:16:22.000 --> 00:16:24.110
  • YOU'RE JUST FINDING A WAY TO LOVE YOURSELF THROUGH
  • 00:16:24.130 --> 00:16:27.210
  • AN IMAGINATION.
  • 00:16:27.230 --> 00:16:29.180
  • IT WASN'T FEAR.
  • 00:16:29.200 --> 00:16:31.000
  • IT WASN'T SELF-DISCIPLINE.
  • 00:16:31.020 --> 00:16:33.130
  • THEN WHY DON'T I HAVE A PROBLEM NOW?
  • 00:16:33.150 --> 00:16:38.010
  • BECAUSE I LEARNED THE TRUTH ABOUT WHO I AM.
  • 00:16:38.030 --> 00:16:40.210
  • [ MUSIC ]
  • 00:16:40.230 --> 00:16:51.220
  • [ MUSIC ]
  • 00:16:51.220 --> 00:16:59.120
  • - LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE BIT MORE ABOUT MY DAD.
  • 00:16:59.140 --> 00:17:01.200
  • WHEN I WAS GROWING UP, I DIDN'T WANT ANYTHING TO
  • 00:17:01.220 --> 00:17:03.190
  • DO WITH HIM.
  • 00:17:03.210 --> 00:17:04.220
  • HE SCARED ME.
  • 00:17:04.240 --> 00:17:06.080
  • LIVING WITH HIM WAS LIKE WALKING ON A MINE FIELD
  • 00:17:06.100 --> 00:17:09.020
  • WHERE SOMEBODY CHANGED THE PLACES OF THE MINES
  • 00:17:09.040 --> 00:17:11.090
  • EVERY NIGHT, AND I NEVER KNEW WHAT WAS GOING TO
  • 00:17:11.110 --> 00:17:15.140
  • SET HIM OFF, AND OVER THE YEARS MY DAD WHO WAS A
  • 00:17:15.160 --> 00:17:19.000
  • PREACHER AND A MISSIONARY, HE HELPED
  • 00:17:19.020 --> 00:17:20.180
  • THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE.
  • 00:17:20.200 --> 00:17:22.150
  • THERE WERE JUST ELEMENTS OF HIS LIFE THAT HAD
  • 00:17:22.170 --> 00:17:24.100
  • NEVER BEEN INTEGRATED. ONE OF THE THINGS I KNEW
  • 00:17:24.120 --> 00:17:26.270
  • ABOUT MY DAD THAT HE DIDN'T KNOW THAT I KNEW,
  • 00:17:26.290 --> 00:17:29.090
  • HE WANTED TO BECOME A WRITER.
  • 00:17:29.110 --> 00:17:31.280
  • HE WANTED TO WRITE WESTERNS, AND HE WOULD
  • 00:17:32.000 --> 00:17:34.110
  • SECRETLY WRITE AWAY TO CORRESPONDENCE SCHOOLS TO
  • 00:17:34.130 --> 00:17:38.120
  • LEARN HOW TO BE AN AUTHOR.
  • 00:17:38.140 --> 00:17:41.030
  • I WOULD SNEAK INTO HIS OFFICE WHEN I WAS A
  • 00:17:41.050 --> 00:17:44.120
  • TEENAGER, AND I WOULD READ THESE WESTERNS THAT
  • 00:17:44.140 --> 00:17:45.290
  • HE HAD STARTED TO WRITE, AND THEY WERE REALLY GOOD.
  • 00:17:46.010 --> 00:17:48.020
  • MY FATHER'S ALWAYS BEEN A GOOD STORY TELLER.
  • 00:17:48.040 --> 00:17:52.070
  • AND I COULDN'T TELL HIM THAT I READ THEM BECAUSE
  • 00:17:52.090 --> 00:17:55.200
  • I HAD TO SNEAK INTO HIS OFFICE, AND THERE WOULD
  • 00:17:55.220 --> 00:17:57.230
  • BE HELL TO PAY, AND HE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO BE A
  • 00:17:57.250 --> 00:18:00.070
  • FATHER, AND I'D NEVER HAD A FATHER-SON CONVERSATION
  • 00:18:00.090 --> 00:18:03.240
  • WITH MY DAD.
  • 00:18:03.260 --> 00:18:05.100
  • HE JUST DIDN'T HAVE THE CAPACITY TO DO IT.
  • 00:18:05.120 --> 00:18:07.090
  • SO THERE WAS ALWAYS THIS HUGE BLANK SPOT IN TERMS
  • 00:18:07.110 --> 00:18:11.030
  • OF RELATIONSHIP.
  • 00:18:11.050 --> 00:18:13.030
  • WHEN I WROTE CHAPTER 15, FESTIVAL OF FRIENDS IN
  • 00:18:13.050 --> 00:18:15.250
  • THE SHACK , THAT CHAPTER I BURIED MY HOPE FOR MY
  • 00:18:15.270 --> 00:18:19.240
  • RELATIONSHIP WITH MY OWN DAD.
  • 00:18:19.260 --> 00:18:22.170
  • MACKENZIE HAS THIS MASSIVE RECONCILIATION.
  • 00:18:22.190 --> 00:18:24.290
  • THAT HASN'T HAPPENED FOR ME YET, AND PRIOR TO THAT
  • 00:18:25.010 --> 00:18:28.240
  • I'D ASK HIM ABOUT HIS WESTERNS, AND HE
  • 00:18:28.260 --> 00:18:31.090
  • IMMEDIATELY SAID THEY WERE JUST TRASH.
  • 00:18:31.110 --> 00:18:34.060
  • I THREW THEM ALL AWAY WHICH ENDED
  • 00:18:34.080 --> 00:18:36.030
  • THAT CONVERSATION.
  • 00:18:36.050 --> 00:18:38.030
  • BUT AT THANKSGIVING I WENT UP TO TELL HIM ONE THING.
  • 00:18:38.050 --> 00:18:41.090
  • IT WAS ON MY HEART TO SAY TO HIM, AND IT WAS ONE OF
  • 00:18:41.110 --> 00:18:46.000
  • THOSE THINGS WHERE YOU ARE A LITTLE BIT SCARED
  • 00:18:46.020 --> 00:18:48.200
  • TO EVEN BROACH THE SUBJECT, AND I GOT THERE,
  • 00:18:48.220 --> 00:18:51.080
  • A MOMENT OPENED UP, AND I SAID DAD, I WANT YOU TO
  • 00:18:51.100 --> 00:18:56.200
  • KNOW THAT I THINK I GOT MY CREATIVITY FROM YOU.
  • 00:18:56.220 --> 00:19:01.270
  • AND I SAW IT PENETRATE FOR LIKE NOT EVEN A WHOLE
  • 00:19:01.290 --> 00:19:09.010
  • SECOND BEFORE THE WALL DROPPED BACK DOWN, BUT I
  • 00:19:09.030 --> 00:19:11.240
  • SAW IT GET THROUGH FOR JUST A SPLIT SECOND, AND
  • 00:19:11.260 --> 00:19:15.070
  • THEN THE WALL COMES DOWN AND HE TURNS TO ME AND HE
  • 00:19:15.090 --> 00:19:17.200
  • SAYS, "WELL, THEN I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU."
  • 00:19:17.220 --> 00:19:21.290
  • SEE, MY DAD BELIEVES THAT HE IS UTTERLY A WRETCH.
  • 00:19:22.010 --> 00:19:27.160
  • HE BELIEVES THE THEOLOGY THAT HE PASSED ONTO ME.
  • 00:19:27.180 --> 00:19:32.000
  • SO A LITTLE OVER A YEAR AGO MY MOTHER WENT INTO
  • 00:19:32.020 --> 00:19:34.040
  • CARE FOR A FEW MONTHS.
  • 00:19:34.060 --> 00:19:35.270
  • NOW, MY DAD SORT OF GOES NUTS.
  • 00:19:35.290 --> 00:19:39.030
  • I MEAN FOR THE LAST TEN YEARS HE'S BEEN A
  • 00:19:39.050 --> 00:19:40.220
  • CAREGIVER, AND NOW HE'S GOT ALL THIS EMPTY SPACE,
  • 00:19:40.240 --> 00:19:44.180
  • AND HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT, AND I GET
  • 00:19:44.200 --> 00:19:46.070
  • A CALL FROM DEBBIE, MY SISTER, AND SHE SAYS,
  • 00:19:46.090 --> 00:19:48.150
  • "WE'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT DAD.
  • 00:19:48.170 --> 00:19:50.200
  • HE'S KIND OF DRIVING ME CRAZY."
  • 00:19:50.220 --> 00:19:52.100
  • AND SHE SAID, "YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR
  • 00:19:52.120 --> 00:19:55.060
  • THESE WESTERN NOVELS BY L. P. HOLMES,"
  • 00:19:55.080 --> 00:19:58.010
  • OUR DAD'S FAVORITE AUTHOR.
  • 00:19:58.030 --> 00:20:00.110
  • I SAID, "L. P. HOLMES?"
  • 00:20:00.130 --> 00:20:02.000
  • I HAD NO CLUE, BUT THEN WHY SHOULD I KNOW WHAT MY
  • 00:20:02.020 --> 00:20:05.290
  • DAD'S FAVORITE AUTHOR IS?
  • 00:20:06.010 --> 00:20:07.130
  • I ON LIVED WITH THE MAN FOR 60 YEARS.
  • 00:20:07.150 --> 00:20:10.050
  • I SAID "WELL, LET ME SEE WHAT I CAN DO."
  • 00:20:10.070 --> 00:20:12.030
  • SO I SCOUR THE INTERNET, AND I FIND 44 L.P. HOLMES NOVELS.
  • 00:20:12.050 --> 00:20:16.240
  • NOW, THEY'RE IN PLACES LIKE WICHITA, COWBOY USED
  • 00:20:16.260 --> 00:20:20.060
  • BOOKSTORE, PLACES LIKE THAT, SO I ORDER ALL
  • 00:20:20.080 --> 00:20:23.260
  • THESE BOOKS, AND THEY ARRIVE AT MY HOUSE, AND I
  • 00:20:23.280 --> 00:20:25.210
  • PUT THEM IN A BOX.
  • 00:20:25.230 --> 00:20:27.200
  • AND JUST BEFORE I TAPE THE BOX UP, I WRITE A
  • 00:20:27.220 --> 00:20:30.010
  • NOTE ON A THREE BY FIVE CARD AND I SEND IT UP
  • 00:20:30.030 --> 00:20:32.120
  • WITH THE BOX.
  • 00:20:32.140 --> 00:20:34.260
  • COUPLE DAYS LATER, THREE OR FOUR, I'M SPEAKING IN
  • 00:20:34.280 --> 00:20:38.140
  • SEATTLE, WASHINGTON, AND I GET A PHONE CALL, AND
  • 00:20:38.160 --> 00:20:41.280
  • IT'S MY DAD, AND I THINK SOMETHING'S HAPPENED TO MOM.
  • 00:20:42.000 --> 00:20:49.270
  • I PICK IT UP. "DAD?"
  • 00:20:49.290 --> 00:20:54.110
  • HERE'S WHAT HE SAYS, "SON, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT
  • 00:20:54.130 --> 00:21:01.060
  • ALL THE L. P. HOLMES NOVELS IN THE WORLD WOULD MEAN NOTHING
  • 00:21:01.080 --> 00:21:06.200
  • TO ME COMPARED WITH THE NOTE YOU WROTE AND PUT
  • 00:21:06.220 --> 00:21:09.170
  • IN THE BOX."
  • 00:21:09.190 --> 00:21:13.000
  • AND I'M THINKING, WHAT DID I WRITE?
  • 00:21:13.020 --> 00:21:18.040
  • AND THAT STARTS LIKE A 40 MINUTE CONVERSATION, THE
  • 00:21:18.060 --> 00:21:21.100
  • FIRST FATHER-SON CONVERSATION THAT I CAN REMEMBER.
  • 00:21:21.120 --> 00:21:26.080
  • IT'S THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE THAT MY FATHER TOLD
  • 00:21:26.100 --> 00:21:29.060
  • ME THAT HE LOVES MY MOTHER.
  • 00:21:29.080 --> 00:21:31.120
  • FIRST TIME.
  • 00:21:31.140 --> 00:21:33.260
  • WE STRUGGLED, LIKE THIS IS ALL NEW TERRITORY.
  • 00:21:33.280 --> 00:21:37.200
  • I SAY GOODBYE, I FLY BACK TO PORTLAND.
  • 00:21:37.220 --> 00:21:39.190
  • I HAVE AN E-MAIL WAITING FOR ME FROM MY MOM, AND
  • 00:21:39.210 --> 00:21:43.000
  • SHE SAID, "I WISH YOU COULD HAVE SEEN THE LOOK ON
  • 00:21:43.020 --> 00:21:45.190
  • YOUR FATHER'S FACE WHEN HE BROUGHT YOUR GIFT OF
  • 00:21:45.210 --> 00:21:47.170
  • BOOKS, AND ESPECIALLY THE BEAUTIFUL NOTE YOU WROTE.
  • 00:21:47.190 --> 00:21:51.180
  • PAUL, I NEVER EXPECTED MY LIFETIME TO SEE
  • 00:21:51.200 --> 00:21:55.040
  • THE LOOK OF SELF-LOATHING AND SHAME BE LIFTED FROM
  • 00:21:55.060 --> 00:21:59.140
  • YOUR FATHER'S FACE.
  • 00:21:59.160 --> 00:22:01.190
  • PAUL, YOU HAVE CHANGED YOUR FATHER INTO A
  • 00:22:01.210 --> 00:22:05.120
  • NEW PERSON."
  • 00:22:05.140 --> 00:22:07.290
  • AND I'M STILL THINKING, WHAT DID I WRITE IN THE NOTE?
  • 00:22:08.010 --> 00:22:12.010
  • AND THEN I REMEMBER IN THE COURSE OF MY LIFE I
  • 00:22:12.030 --> 00:22:16.130
  • DID SOMETHING AND WROTE TO HIM SOMETHING THAT HAS
  • 00:22:16.150 --> 00:22:19.080
  • BECOME NATURAL TO ME.
  • 00:22:19.100 --> 00:22:21.220
  • IT WAS SORT OF THE NEXT STEP.
  • 00:22:21.240 --> 00:22:24.030
  • ON THE BOTTOM OF THE NOTE, I WROTE, "DAD, I
  • 00:22:24.050 --> 00:22:29.130
  • KNOW YOUR HISTORY AND I KNOW WHAT A BIG STEP AWAY
  • 00:22:29.150 --> 00:22:32.080
  • FROM IT YOU TOOK SO THAT I COULD TAKE A BIGGER
  • 00:22:32.100 --> 00:22:34.230
  • STEP AWAY FROM MINE," AND THEN I WROTE, "I WANT YOU
  • 00:22:34.250 --> 00:22:38.280
  • TO KNOW THAT I BELIEVE YOU ARE A GOOD MAN."
  • 00:22:39.000 --> 00:22:44.230
  • MY MOTHER HAD SAID IN THE E-MAIL, HE CAME INTO ME
  • 00:22:44.250 --> 00:22:46.150
  • AND SAID, "I DIDN'T KNOW OR EVER THINK OUR SON
  • 00:22:46.170 --> 00:22:51.030
  • PAUL WOULD THINK THIS WAY ABOUT ME."
  • 00:22:51.050 --> 00:22:54.250
  • YOU KNOW WHAT I DID?
  • 00:22:54.270 --> 00:22:56.170
  • I TOLD MY DAD THE TRUTH OF HIS BEING.
  • 00:22:56.190 --> 00:23:00.240
  • I TOLD HIM THAT HE WAS A GOOD MAN, AND I DON'T
  • 00:23:00.260 --> 00:23:03.140
  • THINK THERE'S ANYBODY ELSE ON THE PLANET THAT
  • 00:23:03.160 --> 00:23:05.250
  • COULD HAVE SAID THAT TO HIM IN A WAY THAT HE
  • 00:23:05.270 --> 00:23:08.130
  • COULD HAVE HEARD IT.
  • 00:23:08.150 --> 00:23:11.230
  • AND IT GOT THROUGH, AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HIS
  • 00:23:11.250 --> 00:23:15.020
  • LIFE HE HEARD THAT MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING
  • 00:23:15.040 --> 00:23:17.270
  • GOOD IN HIM.
  • 00:23:17.290 --> 00:23:19.230
  • IF WE DON'T KNOW THAT THERE'S SOMETHING GOOD IN
  • 00:23:19.250 --> 00:23:23.120
  • US, THAT WE ARE WORTHY BEING LOVED, WE'LL BE
  • 00:23:23.140 --> 00:23:25.160
  • CAUGHT IN A CYCLE OF RELIGION TRYING TO
  • 00:23:25.180 --> 00:23:28.150
  • PERFORM OUR WAY INTO THE APPROVAL AND THE
  • 00:23:28.170 --> 00:23:31.060
  • AFFECTION OF GOD.
  • 00:23:31.080 --> 00:23:32.290
  • WHOLENESS, HOLINESS IS WHEN THE WAY OF OUR BEING
  • 00:23:33.010 --> 00:23:38.180
  • MATCHES THE TRUTH OF OUR BEING, AND IF YOU WANT TO
  • 00:23:38.200 --> 00:23:41.260
  • KNOW THE TRUTH OF OUR BEING, LOOK TO JESUS.
  • 00:23:41.280 --> 00:23:44.260
  • LOOK TO THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT.
  • 00:23:44.280 --> 00:23:46.280
  • LOOK TO THE CHARACTER AND NATURE OF GOD THE FATHER
  • 00:23:47.000 --> 00:23:49.290
  • AS IT TRULY IS, NOT THE WAY RELIGION HAS TAUGHT US.
  • 00:23:50.010 --> 00:23:53.040
  • RECENTLY I DID AN INTERVIEW WITH MARIA
  • 00:23:53.060 --> 00:23:56.020
  • SHRIVER, AND DURING THE CAMERA PART, AND IT
  • 00:23:56.040 --> 00:23:59.090
  • ACTUALLY MADE IT TO THE TODAY SHOW, SHE ASKED ME,
  • 00:23:59.110 --> 00:24:02.190
  • "SO WHO IS PAUL YOUNG?"
  • 00:24:02.210 --> 00:24:06.030
  • MY FIRST RESPONSE WAS, "I'M FINALLY A CHILD.
  • 00:24:06.050 --> 00:24:09.290
  • IT TOOK ME MY WHOLE LIFE TO BECOME A CHILD."
  • 00:24:10.010 --> 00:24:13.080
  • AND THEN I SAID, "BUT LET ME TELL YOU WHO I AM.
  • 00:24:13.100 --> 00:24:15.260
  • I'M PATIENT. I'M KIND. I'M GENEROUS.
  • 00:24:15.280 --> 00:24:21.220
  • I'M FURIOUS AT THE THINGS THAT ARE WRONG AND KEEP
  • 00:24:21.240 --> 00:24:24.220
  • PEOPLE LOCKED INTO BONDAGE THAT ARE HURTING THEM.
  • 00:24:24.240 --> 00:24:28.180
  • AND I AM PURE OF HEART."
  • 00:24:28.200 --> 00:24:32.000
  • SEE, I DIDN'T GROW UP KNOWING THAT.
  • 00:24:32.020 --> 00:24:34.140
  • I GREW UP THINKING THAT I WAS WORTHLESS.
  • 00:24:34.160 --> 00:24:37.000
  • I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS PURE OF HEART.
  • 00:24:37.020 --> 00:24:39.150
  • AND WHEN I BEGAN TO HEAR THE TRUTH OF MY BEING IS
  • 00:24:39.170 --> 00:24:43.160
  • THAT PAUL, YOU ARE PURE OF HEART.
  • 00:24:43.180 --> 00:24:47.000
  • THE WAY OF MY BEING BEGAN TO MATCH IT, AND FROM
  • 00:24:47.020 --> 00:24:50.150
  • WITHIN ME CAME THE BOUNDARIES.
  • 00:24:50.170 --> 00:24:52.220
  • I AM PURE OF HEART.
  • 00:24:52.240 --> 00:24:56.230
  • THAT IS THE TRUTH OF MY BEING, AND THAT'S THE
  • 00:24:56.250 --> 00:24:58.210
  • TRUTH OF YOUR BEING.
  • 00:24:58.230 --> 00:25:01.000
  • WE HAVE TO LEARN TO AGREE WITH IT, AND THAT'S THE
  • 00:25:01.020 --> 00:25:04.130
  • CHALLENGE IS LISTENING TO THE VOICE OF THE HOLY
  • 00:25:04.150 --> 00:25:08.030
  • SPIRIT AND LEARNING TO AGREE WITH THE TRUTH OF
  • 00:25:08.050 --> 00:25:12.030
  • WHO WE ARE, AND ONCE WE DO THAT, THE WAY OF OUR
  • 00:25:12.050 --> 00:25:15.260
  • BEING WILL NATURALLY MATCH IT.
  • 00:25:15.280 --> 00:25:20.200
  • WHOLENESS IS WHEN THE WAY OF YOUR BEING MATCHES THE
  • 00:25:20.220 --> 00:25:26.170
  • TRUTH OF YOUR BEING, SO THE QUESTION IS, WHAT DO
  • 00:25:26.190 --> 00:25:29.190
  • YOU BELIEVE IS THE TRUTH OF YOUR BEING?
  • 00:25:29.210 --> 00:25:34.100
  • DO YOU BELIEVE, CAN YOU TRUST THAT YOU ARE
  • 00:25:34.120 --> 00:25:40.190
  • FUNDAMENTALLY A VERY GOOD CREATION, BUT THAT IS
  • 00:25:40.210 --> 00:25:44.160
  • WHAT THE CORE OF YOUR BEING IS.
  • 00:25:44.180 --> 00:25:47.170
  • AND THEN CAN YOU MAKE THE CHOICE TO AGREE WITH THAT
  • 00:25:47.190 --> 00:25:52.230
  • AND LET IT IMPACT THE WAY OF YOUR BEING?
  • 00:25:52.250 --> 00:25:58.090
  • WHAT WOULD IT COST YOU TO DO THAT?
  • 00:25:58.110 --> 00:26:03.100
  • 00:26:03.120 --> 00:26:03.290