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Rick Warren | Rick Warren - The Six Keys To Peace In Relatipnships (Part 2) | January 19, 2025
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- ♪♪♪
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- Pastor rick warren: now, the classic passage on wisdom and
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- Relationships is in the book of james chapter 3, verses 13 to
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- 18, let me read it to you.
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- It's there on your outline, it's here on the screen.
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- The bible says this.
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- "if you are wise and you understand
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- God's ways, you'll live a life
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- Of steady goodness so that only
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- Good deeds pour forth.
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- And if you don't brag about the
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- Good you do, then you will be
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- Truly wise!
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- But if you are bitterly jealous
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- And there's selfish ambition in
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- Your heart, don't brag about
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- Being wise.
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- That is the worst kind of lie.
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- For jealousy and selfishness are
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- Not god's kind of wisdom.
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- Such things are earthly and
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- Unspiritual and motivated by
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- The devil."
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- He says, "wherever you find
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- Jealousy and selfish ambition,
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- You'll find disorder and every
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- Kind of evil.
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- Now wisdom, the kind of wisdom
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- That comes from heaven is first
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- Of all pure.
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- It's also peace-loving, gentle
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- At all times, willing to yield
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- To others.
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- It's full of mercy and good
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- Deeds.
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- It shows no partiality and it's
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- Always sincere.
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- Now those who are peacemakers,"
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- He's talking about in
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- Relationships, "those who are
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- Peacemakers plant seeds of
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- Peace and they reap a harvest
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- Of goodness."
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- Every day, in every
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- Relationship, you are planting
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- Seeds and you're gonna reap what you sow.
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- Now, you're planting either seeds of trust or distrust.
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- You're planting seeds of anger or peace.
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- You're planting seeds of love or harmony.
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- You're planting seeds in every relationship in your life, every
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- Single day.
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- The question is what kinds of seeds?
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- How do i plant seeds of peace?
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- And the answer is, i got to be wise.
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- I've got to be wise.
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- I've got to do it the wise way.
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- Number three, if i want to be wise, i won't minimize
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- Your feelings.
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- I don't compromise my integrity,
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- I don't antagonize your anger, push your hot buttons, and i
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- Don't minimize your feelings.
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- Wisdom acknowledges your feelings and doesn't
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- Diminish them.
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- You see, the typical reaction when we don't feel what other
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- People feel, we do two things.
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- Number one, we belittle them.
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- If you had a brain, you would know that's just not true.
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- And you wouldn't feel that way.
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- We belittle, that doesn't help.
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- And the other thing, this is worse, is we play psychologists.
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- Now, the reason you feel this way is because your father, oh.
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- All right, you know, you are not a psychologist, and you are
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- Condescending when you try to tell people why they feel the
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- Way they feel.
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- You don't even know why you feel the way you feel.
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- You can't figure out your own motives half the time.
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- Why would you think you could figure out somebody else's?
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- The moment you start judging somebody else's motives, you're
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- Playing god and you're wrong.
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- That's a battle you're gonna lose.
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- Don't play psychologist.
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- Proverbs 15:4 says this in the bible, "kind words bring life,
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- But cruel words crush your spirit."
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- You ever come home from a day at work and play the game, my day
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- Was worse than your day?
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- Well, i had this problem, you know, and, you know, your
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- Husband or your wife or your roommate tells you all about
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- Things and instead of you sympathizing, empathizing and
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- Being considerate, you say, you think you had problems.
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- No, no, those are minor.
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- Let me tell you what a real problem is.
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- And you start telling your problem.
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- Is that actually helping the relationship?
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- No, it's foolish, it's dumb, it's not wise.
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- The bible says wisdom is gentle, wisdom is considerate.
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- Is it possible you both had a tough day?
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- Yes.
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- Is it possible that you could be considerate of their tough day
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- Without having to top it?
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- Yes.
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- What am i saying?
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- I'm saying, if you wanna be wise, if you wanna stop making
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- The same stupid relational mistakes over and over and over,
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- You need to stop minimizing other people's feelings.
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- You need to let your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your spouse,
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- Your parents, your children, whoever, you need to let them
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- Feel what they feel without minimizing it.
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- You need to let them feel tired when they're tired and not try
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- To talk them out of it.
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- You need to let them feel depressed when they're depressed
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- And not try to talk them out of it.
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- You need to let them feel angry or alone or scared when they
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- Feel that way.
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- Friends offer kind words, not remedies.
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- The other day, kay was being interviewed and they asked, they
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- Said, "do you wake up grumpy in the morning?"
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- She said, "no, i usually let him sleep."
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- She's considerate. she's considerate.
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- She lets me sleep in.
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- Number four, wisdom is willing to yield to others.
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- Pastor tom is gonna come and teach us on this fourth mark
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- Of wisdom.
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- Pastor tom: it's open to reason.
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- It allows discussion.
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- This greek word "eupeithes," it's the only time in the whole
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- Bible this word is used, and it's a great word for wisdom
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- And relationships.
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- It means you're not stubborn, you're not defensive.
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- How do you know that?
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- How do you know if you have this kind of quality in your life?
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- One of the main ways you know is how you listen.
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- That's one of the main ways that you see this willingness to
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- Yield to others.
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- The wiser you are, the better a listener you will be and the
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- More foolish you are, the less you will listen to others.
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- I've got to admit i do a very unwise thing all the time
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- In relationships.
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- It's totally unwise.
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- I tend to finish people's sentences for them.
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- Anybody else do this?
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- You know, they're saying something and i wanna move the
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- Conversation along so i like say the end of the sentence.
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- That's very unwise 'cause i'm not letting them say what they
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- Wanna say and i may not hear really what i need to hear
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- In that.
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- So if you're wise, you realize it's foolish to cut people off.
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- It's foolish to not let people have their say.
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- It's foolish to jump to conclusions.
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- So instead of that, you wanna be open to reason.
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- You wanna be willing to listen.
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- You wanna be willing to learn.
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- Now, if i asked you, are you a reasonable person?
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- I think most of us would say, yes, i'm reasonable.
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- Let me ask you, how do you know you're reasonable?
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- 'cause think about this if you were unreasonable, you wouldn't
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- Know you were unreasonable because you were unreasonable.
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- So how do you know if you're really a reasonable person?
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- One of the ways that you know is, do you listen to others?
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- Let me tell you one of the main ways you know if you're a
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- Reasonable person.
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- Can people you disagree with reason with you?
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- If you have people in your life, you disagree with them, but they
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- Can reason with you, you can talk through it,
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- That's one of the ways that you know that you're a
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- Reasonable person.
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- But a lot of us, we have this attitude, don't confuse me with
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- The facts.
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- My mind is made up.
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- When i want your opinion, i'll give it to you.
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- We have this kind of an attitude.
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- And so because of that, we're not wise in relationships and
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- Because of that we all struggle with this.
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- We have this oversensitivity when it comes to talking to
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- Other people with other people's suggestions because it's tough.
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- Let's just admit it.
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- It is tough to hear the suggestions of other people.
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- You have to put yourself out there like that new pastor who
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- Said to his church, first sermon he was preaching and he said,
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- "you know, i really want, i really want your honest
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- Suggestions afterwards."
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- So after the message, he was talking to one of the men in the
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- Church and he said, "okay, give me your honest suggestions."
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- And the guy said, "well, honestly, pastor, that
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- Sermon stunk."
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- And the guy looked at him and said he was trying to
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- Be reasonable.
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- He said, "well, okay, what exactly stunk about it?"
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- He really wanted to hear.
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- And he said, "well, there were three things that stunk
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- About it.
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- First, you read it.
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- Second, you read it poorly.
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- And third, it wasn't worth reading in the first place."
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- Now the next guy that came--talked to the pastor was
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- Trying to encourage him and said, "don't worry about
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- Old jim.
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- He just repeats what everybody else says.
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- So don't worry about, don't worry about that at all."
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- The tough thing about listening to other people and hearing
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- Their suggestions is you gotta put yourself out there and it
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- Can hurt sometimes, but if you're gonna be wise, in fact,
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- Write this in with me.
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- If i want to be wise, i won't criticize your suggestions.
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- I won't criticize your suggestions.
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- A wise person can learn from anybody.
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- Listen, even a broken clock is right twice a day, so people in
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- Your life, they're gonna be right.
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- And let me tell you something god does in my life and he's
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- Gonna do in your life to totally humble you when it comes to
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- Listening to other people's suggestions.
- 00:09:17.973 --> 00:09:19.708
- There are gonna be people in your life, the most irritating
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- People in your life that you drive me crazy kind of people
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- We're talking about, sometimes they're gonna have a
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- Good suggestion.
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- That person in your family that they're wrong about everything
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- Else, they're gonna be right about something.
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- That person at your office, that person at your school, it's the
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- Worst thing in the world when the very person that's driving
- 00:09:36.958 --> 00:09:40.328
- You crazy has a good suggestion for your life.
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- But let me ask you, can you learn from them?
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- Can you learn from anybody?
- 00:09:46.267 --> 00:09:47.769
- Look at this next verse in the outline, proverbs 18:15.
- 00:09:47.769 --> 00:09:50.872
- "intelligent people are always open to new ideas.
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- In fact, they look for them."
- 00:09:54.309 --> 00:09:57.012
- Anywhere and everywhere you look for these new ideas.
- 00:09:57.012 --> 00:10:00.015
- Now what if people have a stupid idea?
- 00:10:00.015 --> 00:10:02.817
- Well, you do the same thing with their stupid idea that you do
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- With your stupid ideas.
- 00:10:05.954 --> 00:10:07.689
- If it's a good idea, you listen to it and you learn.
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- If it's a stupid idea, then you ignore it and you forget it.
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- Stop wasting your life trying to prove a stupid idea right
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- Or wrong.
- 00:10:17.966 --> 00:10:19.334
- Just move on to the next good idea.
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- If i'm wise, i'm open to suggestions.
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- I won't criticize your suggestions.
- 00:10:23.204 --> 00:10:25.040
- Pastor rick: you know, i have spent much of my life hanging
- 00:10:28.209 --> 00:10:31.946
- Out with people i totally disagree with so i could share
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- The love of jesus with 'em and help them come to know christ,
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- Which means i've heard a lot of stupid ideas.
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- I've sat in groups of people who show me stuff that's the most
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- Off the wall crazy idea.
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- What do you do?
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- You just smile and you nod and you don't interrupt and you let
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- Them say their entire piece.
- 00:10:56.237 --> 00:10:59.074
- Because what i've learned is if you let people say their entire
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- Piece, they'll let you say your entire piece.
- 00:11:01.810 --> 00:11:05.447
- And then i can come back and say, well, here's what i think,
- 00:11:05.447 --> 00:11:08.049
- Here's what i believe, here's what the bible says, and people
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- Go, oh well, that makes sense.
- 00:11:10.752 --> 00:11:12.120
- I never thought about it that way.
- 00:11:12.120 --> 00:11:13.822
- But if you try to interrupt them in advance, you try to take them
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- Down point by point, you are being a fool.
- 00:11:16.858 --> 00:11:20.628
- It is foolish to try to take people down point by point.
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- You just make them mad.
- 00:11:23.998 --> 00:11:26.501
- Tom said, you just gotta listen.
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- You gotta be open to reason.
- 00:11:28.603 --> 00:11:30.405
- Now, number five, the bible says, wisdom is full of mercy
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- And good deeds.
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- Circle that word mercy.
- 00:11:36.644 --> 00:11:37.979
- If i'm gonna be wise, i'm gonna maximize mercy.
- 00:11:37.979 --> 00:11:41.683
- I'm gonna major on mercy in my relationships, full of mercy and
- 00:11:41.683 --> 00:11:45.420
- Good deeds.
- 00:11:45.420 --> 00:11:46.755
- In other words, it's wise to show grace to people when they
- 00:11:46.755 --> 00:11:49.891
- Mess up.
- 00:11:49.891 --> 00:11:51.226
- When they blow it, when they sin, when they fumble, when they
- 00:11:51.226 --> 00:11:54.028
- Flub up, when they have faults, when they fail, it's wise to
- 00:11:54.028 --> 00:11:57.832
- Show mercy when people show up.
- 00:11:57.832 --> 00:12:00.135
- It's wise to cut people slack when they mess up.
- 00:12:00.135 --> 00:12:05.039
- Let's just take it this way.
- 00:12:05.039 --> 00:12:06.474
- Who is the wisest person in the universe?
- 00:12:06.474 --> 00:12:10.044
- God.
- 00:12:10.044 --> 00:12:11.379
- Who is the most merciful person in the universe?
- 00:12:11.379 --> 00:12:15.316
- God.
- 00:12:15.316 --> 00:12:16.651
- You think there's any little connection there?
- 00:12:16.651 --> 00:12:18.086
- Yes, fools are judgmental, wise people are merciful.
- 00:12:18.086 --> 00:12:23.391
- Anytime i start judging you, i'm being foolish.
- 00:12:23.391 --> 00:12:26.728
- Anytime i'm being merciful, i'm being like god.
- 00:12:26.728 --> 00:12:30.932
- And that's wise.
- 00:12:30.932 --> 00:12:32.667
- It's wise to give people the benefit of the doubt.
- 00:12:32.667 --> 00:12:35.970
- It's wise to show grace, to show mercy, to be forgiving, to cut
- 00:12:35.970 --> 00:12:40.575
- People some slack.
- 00:12:40.575 --> 00:12:41.910
- God cuts me slack all the time.
- 00:12:41.910 --> 00:12:45.113
- So i better cut it to somebody else.
- 00:12:45.113 --> 00:12:47.849
- Everything you have in life is a sheer gift from god.
- 00:12:47.849 --> 00:12:52.086
- Your next breath is because of the mercy of god.
- 00:12:52.086 --> 00:12:55.156
- You wouldn't be alive if it weren't for the mercy of god.
- 00:12:55.156 --> 00:13:08.770
- Female announcer: one of the most popular bible study
- 00:13:12.874 --> 00:13:14.876
- Resources here at "daily hope" are the bible scripture cards.
- 00:13:14.876 --> 00:13:19.214
- And because so many people ask for them, pastor rick has
- 00:13:19.214 --> 00:13:22.517
- Developed a special set of 52 cards with verses selected
- 00:13:22.517 --> 00:13:26.588
- Specifically to help you develop relationships that are
- 00:13:26.588 --> 00:13:29.490
- Life-giving and filled with joy and purpose.
- 00:13:29.490 --> 00:13:34.229
- These stunning eye-catching cards will help you memorize the
- 00:13:34.229 --> 00:13:37.432
- Word of god so you have it when you need it most,
- 00:13:37.432 --> 00:13:41.202
- Something you hear pastor rick talking about all the time.
- 00:13:41.202 --> 00:13:45.540
- Today when you support pastor rick's daily hope with a gift to
- 00:13:45.540 --> 00:13:48.776
- Help share the hope of jesus christ with people around the
- 00:13:48.776 --> 00:13:52.413
- World, we'll send you the relationship scripture cards to
- 00:13:52.413 --> 00:13:55.750
- Say thanks for your financial support of this ministry.
- 00:13:55.750 --> 00:14:03.057
- Pastor rick: if i wanna be wise, my kids, my boyfriend, my
- 00:14:07.195 --> 00:14:10.331
- Girlfriend, my husband, my wife, if i wanna be wise, i won't
- 00:14:10.331 --> 00:14:13.568
- Emphasize your mistakes, because i am merciful.
- 00:14:13.568 --> 00:14:18.706
- Wise people don't rub it in.
- 00:14:18.706 --> 00:14:22.710
- Wise people rub it out.
- 00:14:22.710 --> 00:14:26.681
- Wise people are merciful.
- 00:14:26.681 --> 00:14:28.750
- So let me ask you, how high do you rate on mercy?
- 00:14:28.750 --> 00:14:32.220
- Do you jump on every fault or blunder?
- 00:14:32.220 --> 00:14:34.689
- You know, great move, klutzo.
- 00:14:34.689 --> 00:14:37.392
- You know, you're always picking at people, always pointing out
- 00:14:37.392 --> 00:14:39.894
- Their errors and mistakes.
- 00:14:39.894 --> 00:14:41.229
- Do you continually bring up the past?
- 00:14:41.229 --> 00:14:44.399
- And every little sin that your husband or your wife or your
- 00:14:44.399 --> 00:14:47.268
- Girlfriend or whoever has done, you file it back so you can pull
- 00:14:47.268 --> 00:14:50.838
- It out when you need to get a little leverage?
- 00:14:50.838 --> 00:14:54.876
- Heard about a high school kid recently came home from school
- 00:14:54.876 --> 00:14:57.578
- With a bad report card and his dad blew a gasket.
- 00:14:57.578 --> 00:15:01.449
- And next day, he went back to school and his friend at school
- 00:15:01.449 --> 00:15:05.720
- Said, "what did your dad think?"
- 00:15:05.720 --> 00:15:07.155
- He said, "oh, my dad got historical."
- 00:15:07.155 --> 00:15:10.959
- He said, "don't you mean hysterical?"
- 00:15:10.959 --> 00:15:12.560
- He said, "no, historical.
- 00:15:12.560 --> 00:15:13.928
- He told me everything i've ever done wrong."
- 00:15:13.928 --> 00:15:17.899
- Do you do that?
- 00:15:17.899 --> 00:15:19.334
- You know, you let it all pile up, you let it all dam up, and
- 00:15:19.334 --> 00:15:21.970
- Then when somebody hits you at the wrong spot, you just, you
- 00:15:21.970 --> 00:15:25.707
- Let it all out.
- 00:15:25.707 --> 00:15:27.208
- That is foolish because wisdom is full of mercy.
- 00:15:27.208 --> 00:15:31.913
- It's full of good deeds.
- 00:15:31.913 --> 00:15:33.281
- The bible says in proverbs 17:9, "love forgets mistakes: nagging
- 00:15:33.281 --> 00:15:37.919
- About them parts the best of friends."
- 00:15:37.919 --> 00:15:43.091
- Last week i saw mike and sally kendall out here on the campus.
- 00:15:43.091 --> 00:15:45.860
- Mike has been on staff in facilities for many, many years.
- 00:15:45.860 --> 00:15:49.731
- And i happen to know that sally and mike had just had their 50th
- 00:15:49.731 --> 00:15:53.201
- Wedding anniversary.
- 00:15:53.201 --> 00:15:55.103
- And mike had kissed sally and she was getting ready to drive
- 00:15:55.103 --> 00:15:57.872
- Off and i walked over to sally's car.
- 00:15:57.872 --> 00:15:59.474
- She rolled the window down and i said, "congratulations, sally,
- 00:15:59.474 --> 00:16:02.643
- On 50 years of marriage."
- 00:16:02.643 --> 00:16:04.479
- I said, "what is the secret of a 50 year lasting marriage?"
- 00:16:04.479 --> 00:16:08.649
- She looked at me and said, "pastor, i never tried to
- 00:16:08.649 --> 00:16:11.586
- Change him."
- 00:16:11.586 --> 00:16:14.355
- She drove off, and i'm not making this up.
- 00:16:14.355 --> 00:16:16.758
- This is the exact truth and they had not colluded on this.
- 00:16:16.758 --> 00:16:20.061
- I walked up to mike.
- 00:16:20.061 --> 00:16:22.497
- He was further on up the way, and i said, "mike,
- 00:16:22.497 --> 00:16:25.133
- Congratulations on 50 years of marriage."
- 00:16:25.133 --> 00:16:28.669
- I said, "what's the secret of 50 years of marriage?"
- 00:16:28.669 --> 00:16:30.972
- He said, "i never tried to change her."
- 00:16:30.972 --> 00:16:35.209
- They had both said the exact same thing.
- 00:16:35.209 --> 00:16:41.749
- Wisdom is full of mercy.
- 00:16:41.749 --> 00:16:43.317
- Number six, the bible says that wisdom is impartial and
- 00:16:43.317 --> 00:16:49.157
- Always sincere.
- 00:16:49.157 --> 00:16:50.491
- Now this is interesting.
- 00:16:50.491 --> 00:16:51.859
- These two words in the greek in the original greek in the bible
- 00:16:51.859 --> 00:16:54.629
- Are the words adiakritos and anupokritos.
- 00:16:54.629 --> 00:16:58.766
- They're very similar words.
- 00:16:58.766 --> 00:17:00.501
- Impartial and sincere, adiakritos, anupokritos.
- 00:17:00.501 --> 00:17:06.074
- Let me explain it this way.
- 00:17:06.074 --> 00:17:07.408
- The greeks invented theater, comedies, tragedies, you know,
- 00:17:07.408 --> 00:17:12.213
- All plato, socrates, sophocles, all these guys wrote very
- 00:17:12.213 --> 00:17:16.751
- Famous plays.
- 00:17:16.751 --> 00:17:19.253
- And in greek plays, one guy would often be an actor and
- 00:17:19.253 --> 00:17:23.691
- Would play many parts.
- 00:17:23.691 --> 00:17:25.059
- He'd come out wearing a mask and he'd say his part, then he'd go
- 00:17:25.059 --> 00:17:28.596
- Back behind the stage, he'd get another mask, he'd come back out
- 00:17:28.596 --> 00:17:31.933
- And he'd play somebody else's part.
- 00:17:31.933 --> 00:17:34.035
- Then he'd go back behind the stage and he'd get another mask
- 00:17:34.035 --> 00:17:37.038
- And he'd come back out.
- 00:17:37.038 --> 00:17:38.372
- He's playing many roles and wearing many masks, and the word
- 00:17:38.372 --> 00:17:41.109
- In greek for that person, he was called a hippocritos.
- 00:17:41.109 --> 00:17:47.281
- We get the word hypocrite from it.
- 00:17:47.281 --> 00:17:49.717
- It means he wears a mask.
- 00:17:49.717 --> 00:17:51.886
- He's always acting a different role, hippocritos, always
- 00:17:51.886 --> 00:17:55.590
- Playing a role, always wearing a mask.
- 00:17:55.590 --> 00:17:57.792
- These words are the exact opposite.
- 00:17:57.792 --> 00:18:00.261
- Adiakritos, anupokritos, it means impartial and sincere.
- 00:18:00.261 --> 00:18:04.265
- It means you're genuine.
- 00:18:04.265 --> 00:18:06.300
- You're without hypocrisy.
- 00:18:06.300 --> 00:18:08.102
- You're the real deal.
- 00:18:08.102 --> 00:18:09.871
- The word we would use today is the word authentic, authentic.
- 00:18:09.871 --> 00:18:13.941
- Now, here's the sixth key.
- 00:18:13.941 --> 00:18:16.110
- If i wanna be wise in my relationships, i won't disguise
- 00:18:16.110 --> 00:18:21.282
- My intentions.
- 00:18:21.282 --> 00:18:24.118
- I won't wear a mask.
- 00:18:24.118 --> 00:18:26.354
- I won't fake it.
- 00:18:26.354 --> 00:18:28.122
- I won't pretend.
- 00:18:28.122 --> 00:18:30.458
- I won't try to be somebody that i'm not.
- 00:18:30.458 --> 00:18:33.161
- I won't lie to you, i won't cheat you, i won't trick you, i
- 00:18:33.161 --> 00:18:36.497
- Won't fake you out.
- 00:18:36.497 --> 00:18:38.099
- I won't take advantage of you.
- 00:18:38.099 --> 00:18:40.067
- I won't deliberately mislead you.
- 00:18:40.067 --> 00:18:42.036
- The point is this, fools are fakes.
- 00:18:42.036 --> 00:18:46.340
- Wise people are authentic.
- 00:18:46.340 --> 00:18:48.543
- They're the real deal.
- 00:18:48.543 --> 00:18:49.877
- They aren't phonies.
- 00:18:49.877 --> 00:18:51.245
- They're genuine, they're authentic.
- 00:18:51.245 --> 00:18:52.580
- They're warts and all.
- 00:18:52.580 --> 00:18:53.948
- What you see is what you get.
- 00:18:53.948 --> 00:18:56.184
- Now, there are two places today where people fake it more than
- 00:18:56.184 --> 00:19:01.255
- Anywhere else, where people are phony.
- 00:19:01.255 --> 00:19:04.225
- They don't show their true selves more than anywhere else.
- 00:19:04.225 --> 00:19:06.561
- Two places.
- 00:19:06.561 --> 00:19:08.196
- Online and on dates.
- 00:19:08.196 --> 00:19:13.834
- They don't show their true selves.
- 00:19:13.834 --> 00:19:16.103
- They're always trying to make themselves look better than they
- 00:19:16.103 --> 00:19:19.307
- Really are online and on dates.
- 00:19:19.307 --> 00:19:24.779
- Proverbs 10:18, "the lips of a liar conceal hostility and
- 00:19:24.779 --> 00:19:29.016
- Whoever spreads accusations is a fool."
- 00:19:29.016 --> 00:19:31.118
- Let me read you psalm 12:2.
- 00:19:31.118 --> 00:19:33.187
- "everyone lies to his neighbor, their flattering lips speak
- 00:19:33.187 --> 00:19:36.591
- With deception."
- 00:19:36.591 --> 00:19:39.727
- You know, dating actually sets up relationships to be phony
- 00:19:39.727 --> 00:19:44.599
- Because dating in itself is an artificial relationship.
- 00:19:44.599 --> 00:19:48.436
- You look your best, you act your best, you talk your best, you
- 00:19:48.436 --> 00:19:53.040
- Dress your best, shoot, you smell your best on a date.
- 00:19:53.040 --> 00:19:56.844
- It's not the real you.
- 00:19:56.844 --> 00:19:59.447
- Just passing gas and burping, you know.
- 00:19:59.447 --> 00:20:03.918
- No, no, you're just super cool and you're not really real.
- 00:20:03.918 --> 00:20:10.191
- On dates, you know, no man would ever actually go to the opera
- 00:20:10.191 --> 00:20:14.996
- Except on a date.
- 00:20:14.996 --> 00:20:17.265
- Okay, ladies, you just need to realize, no man likes opera.
- 00:20:17.265 --> 00:20:20.501
- Okay, okay, really.
- 00:20:20.501 --> 00:20:21.902
- In fact, you laugh at things on dates that aren't even funny.
- 00:20:21.902 --> 00:20:26.807
- It's, you know, somebody says it and your date says something
- 00:20:26.807 --> 00:20:29.510
- And you, "ha, ha, ha, ha."
- 00:20:29.510 --> 00:20:32.146
- It was the stupidest thing you ever heard, but you laughed at
- 00:20:32.146 --> 00:20:34.582
- It anyway, okay.
- 00:20:34.582 --> 00:20:36.617
- It is a phony fake relationship.
- 00:20:36.617 --> 00:20:39.053
- In fact, no place on the planet earth is more inauthentic, more
- 00:20:39.053 --> 00:20:43.658
- Phony than a singles bar.
- 00:20:43.658 --> 00:20:46.494
- I mean, it is the epitome of fake, phony,
- 00:20:46.494 --> 00:20:50.097
- Inauthentic relationships.
- 00:20:50.097 --> 00:20:52.133
- Nowhere else on the planet can a total stranger come up to you
- 00:20:52.133 --> 00:20:55.736
- And offer to buy you something.
- 00:20:55.736 --> 00:20:58.639
- Can i buy you a drink?
- 00:20:58.639 --> 00:21:00.941
- You don't even know me.
- 00:21:00.941 --> 00:21:02.310
- I mean, were you in sears?
- 00:21:02.310 --> 00:21:03.644
- A guy walks up and says, "can i give you your toaster?"
- 00:21:03.644 --> 00:21:05.680
- I mean, really, you're in albertson's, "care for a box of
- 00:21:09.817 --> 00:21:13.521
- Cap'n crunch?
- 00:21:13.521 --> 00:21:15.790
- You're kind of cute, you know?
- 00:21:15.790 --> 00:21:17.692
- Can i get you some pickles?"
- 00:21:17.692 --> 00:21:20.761
- It's so phony, it's so fake.
- 00:21:20.761 --> 00:21:26.267
- If i'm honest, if i'm real, if i'm wise, i'm not gonna disguise
- 00:21:26.267 --> 00:21:33.974
- Who i really am.
- 00:21:33.974 --> 00:21:35.309
- Now, let's review.
- 00:21:35.309 --> 00:21:36.677
- How wise are you in your relationships?
- 00:21:36.677 --> 00:21:39.647
- Do you ever compromise your integrity?
- 00:21:39.647 --> 00:21:42.983
- That's not wise.
- 00:21:42.983 --> 00:21:44.852
- Do you antagonize other people's anger and push their buttons
- 00:21:44.852 --> 00:21:48.255
- Intentionally just to get even?
- 00:21:48.255 --> 00:21:50.491
- Dumb, not wise.
- 00:21:50.491 --> 00:21:53.527
- Do you minimize feelings?
- 00:21:53.527 --> 00:21:54.929
- You shouldn't feel that way.
- 00:21:54.929 --> 00:21:56.597
- Do you criticize suggestions?
- 00:21:56.597 --> 00:21:58.132
- That's a dumb idea.
- 00:21:58.132 --> 00:21:59.867
- Do you emphasize mistakes and you rub it in rather than out?
- 00:21:59.867 --> 00:22:05.106
- Do you disguise your intention?
- 00:22:05.106 --> 00:22:06.540
- Friends, as your pastor who loves you, if you don't wise up,
- 00:22:06.540 --> 00:22:13.147
- If you don't wise up, if you don't learn some godly wisdom,
- 00:22:13.147 --> 00:22:18.853
- You're gonna go through your entire life making the same
- 00:22:18.853 --> 00:22:21.589
- Relational mistakes over and over and over and over and
- 00:22:21.589 --> 00:22:25.693
- You're not gonna get what you want out of that relationship,
- 00:22:25.693 --> 00:22:28.629
- An intimate, satisfying, soul satisfying relationship, the
- 00:22:28.629 --> 00:22:34.635
- Kind that god intended for you to have.
- 00:22:34.635 --> 00:22:38.038
- How do i get the wisdom to stop making foolish mistakes
- 00:22:38.038 --> 00:22:42.576
- In relationships?
- 00:22:42.576 --> 00:22:44.378
- Well, there's only two places you get wisdom.
- 00:22:44.378 --> 00:22:46.947
- You don't get it from college, you don't get it from online,
- 00:22:46.947 --> 00:22:51.919
- You know, blogs, you don't get it from tv shows, you get wisdom
- 00:22:51.919 --> 00:22:56.857
- From knowing god and doing what he says to do, doing his word.
- 00:22:56.857 --> 00:23:01.595
- Knowing god and doing his word.
- 00:23:01.595 --> 00:23:03.164
- You can get intelligence, you can get facts, you can get
- 00:23:03.164 --> 00:23:06.567
- Information, you can get smarts, you can get technical skills
- 00:23:06.567 --> 00:23:09.937
- From going to school, but you don't get wisdom from going
- 00:23:09.937 --> 00:23:12.907
- To school.
- 00:23:12.907 --> 00:23:14.275
- You get wisdom from knowing god and doing what he says to do
- 00:23:14.275 --> 00:23:18.179
- 'cause he is the source of all wisdom.
- 00:23:18.179 --> 00:23:22.983
- Now, this book, the bible, this is filled with relational wisdom
- 00:23:22.983 --> 00:23:29.423
- For you and if you'll stick with me for the next six weeks, we're
- 00:23:29.423 --> 00:23:34.595
- Gonna help revolutionize your relationships.
- 00:23:34.595 --> 00:23:38.399
- And my goal for this series is that you'll learn what god says
- 00:23:38.399 --> 00:23:41.569
- To do and then you'll do it.
- 00:23:41.569 --> 00:23:44.738
- Two verses.
- 00:23:44.738 --> 00:23:46.073
- Look up here on the screen.
- 00:23:46.073 --> 00:23:47.441
- Psalm 111:10, "respect for the lord is the beginning
- 00:23:47.441 --> 00:23:52.713
- Of wisdom."
- 00:23:52.713 --> 00:23:54.048
- You want wisdom in your relationship?
- 00:23:54.048 --> 00:23:55.416
- You gotta start with the relationship to the lord.
- 00:23:55.416 --> 00:23:57.918
- And the bible says in colossians chapter 2, "jesus is the key
- 00:23:57.918 --> 00:24:03.190
- That opens all the hidden treasures of god's wisdom
- 00:24:03.190 --> 00:24:08.128
- And knowledge."
- 00:24:08.128 --> 00:24:09.864
- You gotta get to know jesus.
- 00:24:09.864 --> 00:24:11.632
- I got a letter a while back where a guy told me he said,
- 00:24:11.632 --> 00:24:14.001
- "rick, all my relationships constantly fell apart until i
- 00:24:14.001 --> 00:24:19.006
- Met jesus and i began to learn the wisdom he gave me."
- 00:24:19.006 --> 00:24:23.777
- Have you met jesus?
- 00:24:23.777 --> 00:24:25.746
- Let's bow our heads.
- 00:24:25.746 --> 00:24:29.650
- Father, i thank you for your word, that you want us to be
- 00:24:29.650 --> 00:24:33.220
- Wise, not foolish in our relationships.
- 00:24:33.220 --> 00:24:36.557
- And i pray that even today everyone here will make a
- 00:24:36.557 --> 00:24:39.226
- Commitment to be with us for these six weeks as we talk about
- 00:24:39.226 --> 00:24:43.731
- How to strengthen our good relationships, how to heal our
- 00:24:43.731 --> 00:24:48.068
- Bad ones, how to deal with the crazy makers in our lives.
- 00:24:48.068 --> 00:24:52.439
- But lord, today we start with us.
- 00:24:52.439 --> 00:24:56.677
- Why don't you pray this prayer, "dear jesus, help me to not
- 00:24:56.677 --> 00:24:59.046
- Compromise my integrity.
- 00:24:59.046 --> 00:25:02.983
- Help me not to antagonize people's anger.
- 00:25:02.983 --> 00:25:08.088
- Help me not to minimize people's feelings.
- 00:25:08.088 --> 00:25:13.027
- Help me not to criticize people's suggestions or
- 00:25:13.027 --> 00:25:16.964
- Emphasize their mistakes.
- 00:25:16.964 --> 00:25:20.734
- Help me not to disguise who i really am.
- 00:25:20.734 --> 00:25:24.872
- Help me to be authentic and real and genuine."
- 00:25:24.872 --> 00:25:29.710
- Say, "god, i need your wisdom.
- 00:25:29.710 --> 00:25:32.379
- I wanna know you, jesus christ, and i wanna do your word."
- 00:25:32.379 --> 00:25:38.152
- If you've never invited christ in our life, say, "jesus christ,
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- Come into my heart in life right now and take control of my life.
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- I want to learn to trust you and love you.
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- In your name i pray, amen."
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- ♪♪♪
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- Female announcer: one of the most popular bible study
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- Resources here at daily hope are the bible scripture cards.
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- And because so many people ask for them, pastor rick has
- 00:26:15.122 --> 00:26:18.425
- Developed a special set of 52 cards with verses selected
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- Specifically to help you develop relationships that are
- 00:26:22.529 --> 00:26:25.399
- Life-giving and filled with joy and purpose.
- 00:26:25.399 --> 00:26:30.170
- These stunning eye-catching cards will help you memorize the
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- Word of god so you have it when you need it most,
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- Something you hear pastor rick talking about all the time.
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- Today when you support pastor rick's "daily hope" with a gift
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- To help share the hope of jesus christ with people around the
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- World, we'll send you the relationship scripture cards to
- 00:26:48.322 --> 00:26:51.659
- Say thanks for your financial support of this ministry.
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- ♪♪♪
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- ♪♪♪
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