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Rick Warren

Rick Warren - The Six Keys To Peace In Relatipnships (Part 2)

January 19, 2025 | S25:E3

Rick Warren - The Six Keys To Peace In Relatipnships (Part 2)
Pastor Rick shares biblical truth and practical tools for living the full life God desires for everyone.
#Faith #Peace #Relationships #Wisdom #Spirit #Selfishness #Religion #WordofGod #Kindness #inActive #RickWarren #Lies #Jealousy #James3

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Rick Warren | Rick Warren - The Six Keys To Peace In Relatipnships (Part 2) | January 19, 2025
  • ...
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  • ♪♪♪
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  • Pastor rick warren: now, the classic passage on wisdom and
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  • Relationships is in the book of james chapter 3, verses 13 to
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  • 18, let me read it to you.
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  • It's there on your outline, it's here on the screen.
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  • The bible says this.
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  • "if you are wise and you understand
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  • God's ways, you'll live a life
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  • Of steady goodness so that only
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  • Good deeds pour forth.
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  • And if you don't brag about the
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  • Good you do, then you will be
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  • Truly wise!
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  • But if you are bitterly jealous
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  • And there's selfish ambition in
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  • Your heart, don't brag about
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  • Being wise.
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  • That is the worst kind of lie.
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  • For jealousy and selfishness are
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  • Not god's kind of wisdom.
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  • Such things are earthly and
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  • Unspiritual and motivated by
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  • The devil."
  • 00:01:05.047 --> 00:01:06.381
  • He says, "wherever you find
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  • Jealousy and selfish ambition,
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  • You'll find disorder and every
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  • Kind of evil.
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  • Now wisdom, the kind of wisdom
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  • That comes from heaven is first
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  • Of all pure.
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  • It's also peace-loving, gentle
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  • At all times, willing to yield
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  • To others.
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  • It's full of mercy and good
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  • Deeds.
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  • It shows no partiality and it's
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  • Always sincere.
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  • Now those who are peacemakers,"
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  • He's talking about in
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  • Relationships, "those who are
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  • Peacemakers plant seeds of
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  • Peace and they reap a harvest
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  • Of goodness."
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  • Every day, in every
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  • Relationship, you are planting
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  • Seeds and you're gonna reap what you sow.
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  • Now, you're planting either seeds of trust or distrust.
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  • You're planting seeds of anger or peace.
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  • You're planting seeds of love or harmony.
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  • You're planting seeds in every relationship in your life, every
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  • Single day.
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  • The question is what kinds of seeds?
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  • How do i plant seeds of peace?
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  • And the answer is, i got to be wise.
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  • I've got to be wise.
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  • I've got to do it the wise way.
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  • Number three, if i want to be wise, i won't minimize
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  • Your feelings.
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  • I don't compromise my integrity,
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  • I don't antagonize your anger, push your hot buttons, and i
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  • Don't minimize your feelings.
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  • Wisdom acknowledges your feelings and doesn't
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  • Diminish them.
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  • You see, the typical reaction when we don't feel what other
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  • People feel, we do two things.
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  • Number one, we belittle them.
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  • If you had a brain, you would know that's just not true.
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  • And you wouldn't feel that way.
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  • We belittle, that doesn't help.
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  • And the other thing, this is worse, is we play psychologists.
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  • Now, the reason you feel this way is because your father, oh.
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  • All right, you know, you are not a psychologist, and you are
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  • Condescending when you try to tell people why they feel the
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  • Way they feel.
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  • You don't even know why you feel the way you feel.
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  • You can't figure out your own motives half the time.
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  • Why would you think you could figure out somebody else's?
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  • The moment you start judging somebody else's motives, you're
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  • Playing god and you're wrong.
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  • That's a battle you're gonna lose.
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  • Don't play psychologist.
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  • Proverbs 15:4 says this in the bible, "kind words bring life,
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  • But cruel words crush your spirit."
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  • You ever come home from a day at work and play the game, my day
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  • Was worse than your day?
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  • Well, i had this problem, you know, and, you know, your
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  • Husband or your wife or your roommate tells you all about
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  • Things and instead of you sympathizing, empathizing and
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  • Being considerate, you say, you think you had problems.
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  • No, no, those are minor.
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  • Let me tell you what a real problem is.
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  • And you start telling your problem.
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  • Is that actually helping the relationship?
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  • No, it's foolish, it's dumb, it's not wise.
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  • The bible says wisdom is gentle, wisdom is considerate.
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  • Is it possible you both had a tough day?
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  • Yes.
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  • Is it possible that you could be considerate of their tough day
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  • Without having to top it?
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  • Yes.
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  • What am i saying?
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  • I'm saying, if you wanna be wise, if you wanna stop making
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  • The same stupid relational mistakes over and over and over,
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  • You need to stop minimizing other people's feelings.
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  • You need to let your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your spouse,
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  • Your parents, your children, whoever, you need to let them
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  • Feel what they feel without minimizing it.
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  • You need to let them feel tired when they're tired and not try
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  • To talk them out of it.
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  • You need to let them feel depressed when they're depressed
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  • And not try to talk them out of it.
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  • You need to let them feel angry or alone or scared when they
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  • Feel that way.
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  • Friends offer kind words, not remedies.
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  • The other day, kay was being interviewed and they asked, they
  • 00:05:09.658 --> 00:05:12.060
  • Said, "do you wake up grumpy in the morning?"
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  • She said, "no, i usually let him sleep."
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  • She's considerate. she's considerate.
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  • She lets me sleep in.
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  • Number four, wisdom is willing to yield to others.
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  • Pastor tom is gonna come and teach us on this fourth mark
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  • Of wisdom.
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  • Pastor tom: it's open to reason.
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  • It allows discussion.
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  • This greek word "eupeithes," it's the only time in the whole
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  • Bible this word is used, and it's a great word for wisdom
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  • And relationships.
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  • It means you're not stubborn, you're not defensive.
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  • How do you know that?
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  • How do you know if you have this kind of quality in your life?
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  • One of the main ways you know is how you listen.
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  • That's one of the main ways that you see this willingness to
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  • Yield to others.
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  • The wiser you are, the better a listener you will be and the
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  • More foolish you are, the less you will listen to others.
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  • I've got to admit i do a very unwise thing all the time
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  • In relationships.
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  • It's totally unwise.
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  • I tend to finish people's sentences for them.
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  • Anybody else do this?
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  • You know, they're saying something and i wanna move the
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  • Conversation along so i like say the end of the sentence.
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  • That's very unwise 'cause i'm not letting them say what they
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  • Wanna say and i may not hear really what i need to hear
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  • In that.
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  • So if you're wise, you realize it's foolish to cut people off.
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  • It's foolish to not let people have their say.
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  • It's foolish to jump to conclusions.
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  • So instead of that, you wanna be open to reason.
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  • You wanna be willing to listen.
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  • You wanna be willing to learn.
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  • Now, if i asked you, are you a reasonable person?
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  • I think most of us would say, yes, i'm reasonable.
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  • Let me ask you, how do you know you're reasonable?
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  • 'cause think about this if you were unreasonable, you wouldn't
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  • Know you were unreasonable because you were unreasonable.
  • 00:07:01.269 --> 00:07:04.806
  • So how do you know if you're really a reasonable person?
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  • One of the ways that you know is, do you listen to others?
  • 00:07:07.876 --> 00:07:11.480
  • Let me tell you one of the main ways you know if you're a
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  • Reasonable person.
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  • Can people you disagree with reason with you?
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  • If you have people in your life, you disagree with them, but they
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  • Can reason with you, you can talk through it,
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  • That's one of the ways that you know that you're a
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  • Reasonable person.
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  • But a lot of us, we have this attitude, don't confuse me with
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  • The facts.
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  • My mind is made up.
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  • When i want your opinion, i'll give it to you.
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  • We have this kind of an attitude.
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  • And so because of that, we're not wise in relationships and
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  • Because of that we all struggle with this.
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  • We have this oversensitivity when it comes to talking to
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  • Other people with other people's suggestions because it's tough.
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  • Let's just admit it.
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  • It is tough to hear the suggestions of other people.
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  • You have to put yourself out there like that new pastor who
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  • Said to his church, first sermon he was preaching and he said,
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  • "you know, i really want, i really want your honest
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  • Suggestions afterwards."
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  • So after the message, he was talking to one of the men in the
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  • Church and he said, "okay, give me your honest suggestions."
  • 00:08:07.836 --> 00:08:10.939
  • And the guy said, "well, honestly, pastor, that
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  • Sermon stunk."
  • 00:08:13.742 --> 00:08:15.877
  • And the guy looked at him and said he was trying to
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  • Be reasonable.
  • 00:08:17.979 --> 00:08:19.347
  • He said, "well, okay, what exactly stunk about it?"
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  • He really wanted to hear.
  • 00:08:22.884 --> 00:08:24.486
  • And he said, "well, there were three things that stunk
  • 00:08:24.486 --> 00:08:26.955
  • About it.
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  • First, you read it.
  • 00:08:28.290 --> 00:08:29.658
  • Second, you read it poorly.
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  • And third, it wasn't worth reading in the first place."
  • 00:08:31.026 --> 00:08:35.163
  • Now the next guy that came--talked to the pastor was
  • 00:08:35.163 --> 00:08:37.465
  • Trying to encourage him and said, "don't worry about
  • 00:08:37.465 --> 00:08:38.800
  • Old jim.
  • 00:08:38.800 --> 00:08:40.168
  • He just repeats what everybody else says.
  • 00:08:40.168 --> 00:08:41.503
  • So don't worry about, don't worry about that at all."
  • 00:08:41.503 --> 00:08:45.006
  • The tough thing about listening to other people and hearing
  • 00:08:45.006 --> 00:08:48.243
  • Their suggestions is you gotta put yourself out there and it
  • 00:08:48.243 --> 00:08:52.047
  • Can hurt sometimes, but if you're gonna be wise, in fact,
  • 00:08:52.047 --> 00:08:54.482
  • Write this in with me.
  • 00:08:54.482 --> 00:08:55.817
  • If i want to be wise, i won't criticize your suggestions.
  • 00:08:55.817 --> 00:09:00.789
  • I won't criticize your suggestions.
  • 00:09:00.789 --> 00:09:02.324
  • A wise person can learn from anybody.
  • 00:09:02.324 --> 00:09:06.161
  • Listen, even a broken clock is right twice a day, so people in
  • 00:09:06.161 --> 00:09:11.466
  • Your life, they're gonna be right.
  • 00:09:11.466 --> 00:09:13.168
  • And let me tell you something god does in my life and he's
  • 00:09:13.168 --> 00:09:15.437
  • Gonna do in your life to totally humble you when it comes to
  • 00:09:15.437 --> 00:09:17.973
  • Listening to other people's suggestions.
  • 00:09:17.973 --> 00:09:19.708
  • There are gonna be people in your life, the most irritating
  • 00:09:19.708 --> 00:09:22.410
  • People in your life that you drive me crazy kind of people
  • 00:09:22.410 --> 00:09:25.213
  • We're talking about, sometimes they're gonna have a
  • 00:09:25.213 --> 00:09:27.515
  • Good suggestion.
  • 00:09:27.515 --> 00:09:28.883
  • That person in your family that they're wrong about everything
  • 00:09:28.883 --> 00:09:31.786
  • Else, they're gonna be right about something.
  • 00:09:31.786 --> 00:09:33.154
  • That person at your office, that person at your school, it's the
  • 00:09:33.154 --> 00:09:36.958
  • Worst thing in the world when the very person that's driving
  • 00:09:36.958 --> 00:09:40.328
  • You crazy has a good suggestion for your life.
  • 00:09:40.328 --> 00:09:43.665
  • But let me ask you, can you learn from them?
  • 00:09:43.665 --> 00:09:46.267
  • Can you learn from anybody?
  • 00:09:46.267 --> 00:09:47.769
  • Look at this next verse in the outline, proverbs 18:15.
  • 00:09:47.769 --> 00:09:50.872
  • "intelligent people are always open to new ideas.
  • 00:09:50.872 --> 00:09:54.309
  • In fact, they look for them."
  • 00:09:54.309 --> 00:09:57.012
  • Anywhere and everywhere you look for these new ideas.
  • 00:09:57.012 --> 00:10:00.015
  • Now what if people have a stupid idea?
  • 00:10:00.015 --> 00:10:02.817
  • Well, you do the same thing with their stupid idea that you do
  • 00:10:02.817 --> 00:10:05.954
  • With your stupid ideas.
  • 00:10:05.954 --> 00:10:07.689
  • If it's a good idea, you listen to it and you learn.
  • 00:10:07.689 --> 00:10:10.291
  • If it's a stupid idea, then you ignore it and you forget it.
  • 00:10:10.291 --> 00:10:13.962
  • Stop wasting your life trying to prove a stupid idea right
  • 00:10:13.962 --> 00:10:17.966
  • Or wrong.
  • 00:10:17.966 --> 00:10:19.334
  • Just move on to the next good idea.
  • 00:10:19.334 --> 00:10:20.702
  • If i'm wise, i'm open to suggestions.
  • 00:10:20.702 --> 00:10:23.204
  • I won't criticize your suggestions.
  • 00:10:23.204 --> 00:10:25.040
  • Pastor rick: you know, i have spent much of my life hanging
  • 00:10:28.209 --> 00:10:31.946
  • Out with people i totally disagree with so i could share
  • 00:10:31.946 --> 00:10:35.850
  • The love of jesus with 'em and help them come to know christ,
  • 00:10:35.850 --> 00:10:40.288
  • Which means i've heard a lot of stupid ideas.
  • 00:10:40.288 --> 00:10:43.525
  • I've sat in groups of people who show me stuff that's the most
  • 00:10:43.525 --> 00:10:47.796
  • Off the wall crazy idea.
  • 00:10:47.796 --> 00:10:49.731
  • What do you do?
  • 00:10:49.731 --> 00:10:51.066
  • You just smile and you nod and you don't interrupt and you let
  • 00:10:51.066 --> 00:10:56.237
  • Them say their entire piece.
  • 00:10:56.237 --> 00:10:59.074
  • Because what i've learned is if you let people say their entire
  • 00:10:59.074 --> 00:11:01.810
  • Piece, they'll let you say your entire piece.
  • 00:11:01.810 --> 00:11:05.447
  • And then i can come back and say, well, here's what i think,
  • 00:11:05.447 --> 00:11:08.049
  • Here's what i believe, here's what the bible says, and people
  • 00:11:08.049 --> 00:11:10.752
  • Go, oh well, that makes sense.
  • 00:11:10.752 --> 00:11:12.120
  • I never thought about it that way.
  • 00:11:12.120 --> 00:11:13.822
  • But if you try to interrupt them in advance, you try to take them
  • 00:11:13.822 --> 00:11:16.858
  • Down point by point, you are being a fool.
  • 00:11:16.858 --> 00:11:20.628
  • It is foolish to try to take people down point by point.
  • 00:11:20.628 --> 00:11:23.998
  • You just make them mad.
  • 00:11:23.998 --> 00:11:26.501
  • Tom said, you just gotta listen.
  • 00:11:26.501 --> 00:11:28.603
  • You gotta be open to reason.
  • 00:11:28.603 --> 00:11:30.405
  • Now, number five, the bible says, wisdom is full of mercy
  • 00:11:30.405 --> 00:11:35.310
  • And good deeds.
  • 00:11:35.310 --> 00:11:36.644
  • Circle that word mercy.
  • 00:11:36.644 --> 00:11:37.979
  • If i'm gonna be wise, i'm gonna maximize mercy.
  • 00:11:37.979 --> 00:11:41.683
  • I'm gonna major on mercy in my relationships, full of mercy and
  • 00:11:41.683 --> 00:11:45.420
  • Good deeds.
  • 00:11:45.420 --> 00:11:46.755
  • In other words, it's wise to show grace to people when they
  • 00:11:46.755 --> 00:11:49.891
  • Mess up.
  • 00:11:49.891 --> 00:11:51.226
  • When they blow it, when they sin, when they fumble, when they
  • 00:11:51.226 --> 00:11:54.028
  • Flub up, when they have faults, when they fail, it's wise to
  • 00:11:54.028 --> 00:11:57.832
  • Show mercy when people show up.
  • 00:11:57.832 --> 00:12:00.135
  • It's wise to cut people slack when they mess up.
  • 00:12:00.135 --> 00:12:05.039
  • Let's just take it this way.
  • 00:12:05.039 --> 00:12:06.474
  • Who is the wisest person in the universe?
  • 00:12:06.474 --> 00:12:10.044
  • God.
  • 00:12:10.044 --> 00:12:11.379
  • Who is the most merciful person in the universe?
  • 00:12:11.379 --> 00:12:15.316
  • God.
  • 00:12:15.316 --> 00:12:16.651
  • You think there's any little connection there?
  • 00:12:16.651 --> 00:12:18.086
  • Yes, fools are judgmental, wise people are merciful.
  • 00:12:18.086 --> 00:12:23.391
  • Anytime i start judging you, i'm being foolish.
  • 00:12:23.391 --> 00:12:26.728
  • Anytime i'm being merciful, i'm being like god.
  • 00:12:26.728 --> 00:12:30.932
  • And that's wise.
  • 00:12:30.932 --> 00:12:32.667
  • It's wise to give people the benefit of the doubt.
  • 00:12:32.667 --> 00:12:35.970
  • It's wise to show grace, to show mercy, to be forgiving, to cut
  • 00:12:35.970 --> 00:12:40.575
  • People some slack.
  • 00:12:40.575 --> 00:12:41.910
  • God cuts me slack all the time.
  • 00:12:41.910 --> 00:12:45.113
  • So i better cut it to somebody else.
  • 00:12:45.113 --> 00:12:47.849
  • Everything you have in life is a sheer gift from god.
  • 00:12:47.849 --> 00:12:52.086
  • Your next breath is because of the mercy of god.
  • 00:12:52.086 --> 00:12:55.156
  • You wouldn't be alive if it weren't for the mercy of god.
  • 00:12:55.156 --> 00:13:08.770
  • Female announcer: one of the most popular bible study
  • 00:13:12.874 --> 00:13:14.876
  • Resources here at "daily hope" are the bible scripture cards.
  • 00:13:14.876 --> 00:13:19.214
  • And because so many people ask for them, pastor rick has
  • 00:13:19.214 --> 00:13:22.517
  • Developed a special set of 52 cards with verses selected
  • 00:13:22.517 --> 00:13:26.588
  • Specifically to help you develop relationships that are
  • 00:13:26.588 --> 00:13:29.490
  • Life-giving and filled with joy and purpose.
  • 00:13:29.490 --> 00:13:34.229
  • These stunning eye-catching cards will help you memorize the
  • 00:13:34.229 --> 00:13:37.432
  • Word of god so you have it when you need it most,
  • 00:13:37.432 --> 00:13:41.202
  • Something you hear pastor rick talking about all the time.
  • 00:13:41.202 --> 00:13:45.540
  • Today when you support pastor rick's daily hope with a gift to
  • 00:13:45.540 --> 00:13:48.776
  • Help share the hope of jesus christ with people around the
  • 00:13:48.776 --> 00:13:52.413
  • World, we'll send you the relationship scripture cards to
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  • Say thanks for your financial support of this ministry.
  • 00:13:55.750 --> 00:14:03.057
  • Pastor rick: if i wanna be wise, my kids, my boyfriend, my
  • 00:14:07.195 --> 00:14:10.331
  • Girlfriend, my husband, my wife, if i wanna be wise, i won't
  • 00:14:10.331 --> 00:14:13.568
  • Emphasize your mistakes, because i am merciful.
  • 00:14:13.568 --> 00:14:18.706
  • Wise people don't rub it in.
  • 00:14:18.706 --> 00:14:22.710
  • Wise people rub it out.
  • 00:14:22.710 --> 00:14:26.681
  • Wise people are merciful.
  • 00:14:26.681 --> 00:14:28.750
  • So let me ask you, how high do you rate on mercy?
  • 00:14:28.750 --> 00:14:32.220
  • Do you jump on every fault or blunder?
  • 00:14:32.220 --> 00:14:34.689
  • You know, great move, klutzo.
  • 00:14:34.689 --> 00:14:37.392
  • You know, you're always picking at people, always pointing out
  • 00:14:37.392 --> 00:14:39.894
  • Their errors and mistakes.
  • 00:14:39.894 --> 00:14:41.229
  • Do you continually bring up the past?
  • 00:14:41.229 --> 00:14:44.399
  • And every little sin that your husband or your wife or your
  • 00:14:44.399 --> 00:14:47.268
  • Girlfriend or whoever has done, you file it back so you can pull
  • 00:14:47.268 --> 00:14:50.838
  • It out when you need to get a little leverage?
  • 00:14:50.838 --> 00:14:54.876
  • Heard about a high school kid recently came home from school
  • 00:14:54.876 --> 00:14:57.578
  • With a bad report card and his dad blew a gasket.
  • 00:14:57.578 --> 00:15:01.449
  • And next day, he went back to school and his friend at school
  • 00:15:01.449 --> 00:15:05.720
  • Said, "what did your dad think?"
  • 00:15:05.720 --> 00:15:07.155
  • He said, "oh, my dad got historical."
  • 00:15:07.155 --> 00:15:10.959
  • He said, "don't you mean hysterical?"
  • 00:15:10.959 --> 00:15:12.560
  • He said, "no, historical.
  • 00:15:12.560 --> 00:15:13.928
  • He told me everything i've ever done wrong."
  • 00:15:13.928 --> 00:15:17.899
  • Do you do that?
  • 00:15:17.899 --> 00:15:19.334
  • You know, you let it all pile up, you let it all dam up, and
  • 00:15:19.334 --> 00:15:21.970
  • Then when somebody hits you at the wrong spot, you just, you
  • 00:15:21.970 --> 00:15:25.707
  • Let it all out.
  • 00:15:25.707 --> 00:15:27.208
  • That is foolish because wisdom is full of mercy.
  • 00:15:27.208 --> 00:15:31.913
  • It's full of good deeds.
  • 00:15:31.913 --> 00:15:33.281
  • The bible says in proverbs 17:9, "love forgets mistakes: nagging
  • 00:15:33.281 --> 00:15:37.919
  • About them parts the best of friends."
  • 00:15:37.919 --> 00:15:43.091
  • Last week i saw mike and sally kendall out here on the campus.
  • 00:15:43.091 --> 00:15:45.860
  • Mike has been on staff in facilities for many, many years.
  • 00:15:45.860 --> 00:15:49.731
  • And i happen to know that sally and mike had just had their 50th
  • 00:15:49.731 --> 00:15:53.201
  • Wedding anniversary.
  • 00:15:53.201 --> 00:15:55.103
  • And mike had kissed sally and she was getting ready to drive
  • 00:15:55.103 --> 00:15:57.872
  • Off and i walked over to sally's car.
  • 00:15:57.872 --> 00:15:59.474
  • She rolled the window down and i said, "congratulations, sally,
  • 00:15:59.474 --> 00:16:02.643
  • On 50 years of marriage."
  • 00:16:02.643 --> 00:16:04.479
  • I said, "what is the secret of a 50 year lasting marriage?"
  • 00:16:04.479 --> 00:16:08.649
  • She looked at me and said, "pastor, i never tried to
  • 00:16:08.649 --> 00:16:11.586
  • Change him."
  • 00:16:11.586 --> 00:16:14.355
  • She drove off, and i'm not making this up.
  • 00:16:14.355 --> 00:16:16.758
  • This is the exact truth and they had not colluded on this.
  • 00:16:16.758 --> 00:16:20.061
  • I walked up to mike.
  • 00:16:20.061 --> 00:16:22.497
  • He was further on up the way, and i said, "mike,
  • 00:16:22.497 --> 00:16:25.133
  • Congratulations on 50 years of marriage."
  • 00:16:25.133 --> 00:16:28.669
  • I said, "what's the secret of 50 years of marriage?"
  • 00:16:28.669 --> 00:16:30.972
  • He said, "i never tried to change her."
  • 00:16:30.972 --> 00:16:35.209
  • They had both said the exact same thing.
  • 00:16:35.209 --> 00:16:41.749
  • Wisdom is full of mercy.
  • 00:16:41.749 --> 00:16:43.317
  • Number six, the bible says that wisdom is impartial and
  • 00:16:43.317 --> 00:16:49.157
  • Always sincere.
  • 00:16:49.157 --> 00:16:50.491
  • Now this is interesting.
  • 00:16:50.491 --> 00:16:51.859
  • These two words in the greek in the original greek in the bible
  • 00:16:51.859 --> 00:16:54.629
  • Are the words adiakritos and anupokritos.
  • 00:16:54.629 --> 00:16:58.766
  • They're very similar words.
  • 00:16:58.766 --> 00:17:00.501
  • Impartial and sincere, adiakritos, anupokritos.
  • 00:17:00.501 --> 00:17:06.074
  • Let me explain it this way.
  • 00:17:06.074 --> 00:17:07.408
  • The greeks invented theater, comedies, tragedies, you know,
  • 00:17:07.408 --> 00:17:12.213
  • All plato, socrates, sophocles, all these guys wrote very
  • 00:17:12.213 --> 00:17:16.751
  • Famous plays.
  • 00:17:16.751 --> 00:17:19.253
  • And in greek plays, one guy would often be an actor and
  • 00:17:19.253 --> 00:17:23.691
  • Would play many parts.
  • 00:17:23.691 --> 00:17:25.059
  • He'd come out wearing a mask and he'd say his part, then he'd go
  • 00:17:25.059 --> 00:17:28.596
  • Back behind the stage, he'd get another mask, he'd come back out
  • 00:17:28.596 --> 00:17:31.933
  • And he'd play somebody else's part.
  • 00:17:31.933 --> 00:17:34.035
  • Then he'd go back behind the stage and he'd get another mask
  • 00:17:34.035 --> 00:17:37.038
  • And he'd come back out.
  • 00:17:37.038 --> 00:17:38.372
  • He's playing many roles and wearing many masks, and the word
  • 00:17:38.372 --> 00:17:41.109
  • In greek for that person, he was called a hippocritos.
  • 00:17:41.109 --> 00:17:47.281
  • We get the word hypocrite from it.
  • 00:17:47.281 --> 00:17:49.717
  • It means he wears a mask.
  • 00:17:49.717 --> 00:17:51.886
  • He's always acting a different role, hippocritos, always
  • 00:17:51.886 --> 00:17:55.590
  • Playing a role, always wearing a mask.
  • 00:17:55.590 --> 00:17:57.792
  • These words are the exact opposite.
  • 00:17:57.792 --> 00:18:00.261
  • Adiakritos, anupokritos, it means impartial and sincere.
  • 00:18:00.261 --> 00:18:04.265
  • It means you're genuine.
  • 00:18:04.265 --> 00:18:06.300
  • You're without hypocrisy.
  • 00:18:06.300 --> 00:18:08.102
  • You're the real deal.
  • 00:18:08.102 --> 00:18:09.871
  • The word we would use today is the word authentic, authentic.
  • 00:18:09.871 --> 00:18:13.941
  • Now, here's the sixth key.
  • 00:18:13.941 --> 00:18:16.110
  • If i wanna be wise in my relationships, i won't disguise
  • 00:18:16.110 --> 00:18:21.282
  • My intentions.
  • 00:18:21.282 --> 00:18:24.118
  • I won't wear a mask.
  • 00:18:24.118 --> 00:18:26.354
  • I won't fake it.
  • 00:18:26.354 --> 00:18:28.122
  • I won't pretend.
  • 00:18:28.122 --> 00:18:30.458
  • I won't try to be somebody that i'm not.
  • 00:18:30.458 --> 00:18:33.161
  • I won't lie to you, i won't cheat you, i won't trick you, i
  • 00:18:33.161 --> 00:18:36.497
  • Won't fake you out.
  • 00:18:36.497 --> 00:18:38.099
  • I won't take advantage of you.
  • 00:18:38.099 --> 00:18:40.067
  • I won't deliberately mislead you.
  • 00:18:40.067 --> 00:18:42.036
  • The point is this, fools are fakes.
  • 00:18:42.036 --> 00:18:46.340
  • Wise people are authentic.
  • 00:18:46.340 --> 00:18:48.543
  • They're the real deal.
  • 00:18:48.543 --> 00:18:49.877
  • They aren't phonies.
  • 00:18:49.877 --> 00:18:51.245
  • They're genuine, they're authentic.
  • 00:18:51.245 --> 00:18:52.580
  • They're warts and all.
  • 00:18:52.580 --> 00:18:53.948
  • What you see is what you get.
  • 00:18:53.948 --> 00:18:56.184
  • Now, there are two places today where people fake it more than
  • 00:18:56.184 --> 00:19:01.255
  • Anywhere else, where people are phony.
  • 00:19:01.255 --> 00:19:04.225
  • They don't show their true selves more than anywhere else.
  • 00:19:04.225 --> 00:19:06.561
  • Two places.
  • 00:19:06.561 --> 00:19:08.196
  • Online and on dates.
  • 00:19:08.196 --> 00:19:13.834
  • They don't show their true selves.
  • 00:19:13.834 --> 00:19:16.103
  • They're always trying to make themselves look better than they
  • 00:19:16.103 --> 00:19:19.307
  • Really are online and on dates.
  • 00:19:19.307 --> 00:19:24.779
  • Proverbs 10:18, "the lips of a liar conceal hostility and
  • 00:19:24.779 --> 00:19:29.016
  • Whoever spreads accusations is a fool."
  • 00:19:29.016 --> 00:19:31.118
  • Let me read you psalm 12:2.
  • 00:19:31.118 --> 00:19:33.187
  • "everyone lies to his neighbor, their flattering lips speak
  • 00:19:33.187 --> 00:19:36.591
  • With deception."
  • 00:19:36.591 --> 00:19:39.727
  • You know, dating actually sets up relationships to be phony
  • 00:19:39.727 --> 00:19:44.599
  • Because dating in itself is an artificial relationship.
  • 00:19:44.599 --> 00:19:48.436
  • You look your best, you act your best, you talk your best, you
  • 00:19:48.436 --> 00:19:53.040
  • Dress your best, shoot, you smell your best on a date.
  • 00:19:53.040 --> 00:19:56.844
  • It's not the real you.
  • 00:19:56.844 --> 00:19:59.447
  • Just passing gas and burping, you know.
  • 00:19:59.447 --> 00:20:03.918
  • No, no, you're just super cool and you're not really real.
  • 00:20:03.918 --> 00:20:10.191
  • On dates, you know, no man would ever actually go to the opera
  • 00:20:10.191 --> 00:20:14.996
  • Except on a date.
  • 00:20:14.996 --> 00:20:17.265
  • Okay, ladies, you just need to realize, no man likes opera.
  • 00:20:17.265 --> 00:20:20.501
  • Okay, okay, really.
  • 00:20:20.501 --> 00:20:21.902
  • In fact, you laugh at things on dates that aren't even funny.
  • 00:20:21.902 --> 00:20:26.807
  • It's, you know, somebody says it and your date says something
  • 00:20:26.807 --> 00:20:29.510
  • And you, "ha, ha, ha, ha."
  • 00:20:29.510 --> 00:20:32.146
  • It was the stupidest thing you ever heard, but you laughed at
  • 00:20:32.146 --> 00:20:34.582
  • It anyway, okay.
  • 00:20:34.582 --> 00:20:36.617
  • It is a phony fake relationship.
  • 00:20:36.617 --> 00:20:39.053
  • In fact, no place on the planet earth is more inauthentic, more
  • 00:20:39.053 --> 00:20:43.658
  • Phony than a singles bar.
  • 00:20:43.658 --> 00:20:46.494
  • I mean, it is the epitome of fake, phony,
  • 00:20:46.494 --> 00:20:50.097
  • Inauthentic relationships.
  • 00:20:50.097 --> 00:20:52.133
  • Nowhere else on the planet can a total stranger come up to you
  • 00:20:52.133 --> 00:20:55.736
  • And offer to buy you something.
  • 00:20:55.736 --> 00:20:58.639
  • Can i buy you a drink?
  • 00:20:58.639 --> 00:21:00.941
  • You don't even know me.
  • 00:21:00.941 --> 00:21:02.310
  • I mean, were you in sears?
  • 00:21:02.310 --> 00:21:03.644
  • A guy walks up and says, "can i give you your toaster?"
  • 00:21:03.644 --> 00:21:05.680
  • I mean, really, you're in albertson's, "care for a box of
  • 00:21:09.817 --> 00:21:13.521
  • Cap'n crunch?
  • 00:21:13.521 --> 00:21:15.790
  • You're kind of cute, you know?
  • 00:21:15.790 --> 00:21:17.692
  • Can i get you some pickles?"
  • 00:21:17.692 --> 00:21:20.761
  • It's so phony, it's so fake.
  • 00:21:20.761 --> 00:21:26.267
  • If i'm honest, if i'm real, if i'm wise, i'm not gonna disguise
  • 00:21:26.267 --> 00:21:33.974
  • Who i really am.
  • 00:21:33.974 --> 00:21:35.309
  • Now, let's review.
  • 00:21:35.309 --> 00:21:36.677
  • How wise are you in your relationships?
  • 00:21:36.677 --> 00:21:39.647
  • Do you ever compromise your integrity?
  • 00:21:39.647 --> 00:21:42.983
  • That's not wise.
  • 00:21:42.983 --> 00:21:44.852
  • Do you antagonize other people's anger and push their buttons
  • 00:21:44.852 --> 00:21:48.255
  • Intentionally just to get even?
  • 00:21:48.255 --> 00:21:50.491
  • Dumb, not wise.
  • 00:21:50.491 --> 00:21:53.527
  • Do you minimize feelings?
  • 00:21:53.527 --> 00:21:54.929
  • You shouldn't feel that way.
  • 00:21:54.929 --> 00:21:56.597
  • Do you criticize suggestions?
  • 00:21:56.597 --> 00:21:58.132
  • That's a dumb idea.
  • 00:21:58.132 --> 00:21:59.867
  • Do you emphasize mistakes and you rub it in rather than out?
  • 00:21:59.867 --> 00:22:05.106
  • Do you disguise your intention?
  • 00:22:05.106 --> 00:22:06.540
  • Friends, as your pastor who loves you, if you don't wise up,
  • 00:22:06.540 --> 00:22:13.147
  • If you don't wise up, if you don't learn some godly wisdom,
  • 00:22:13.147 --> 00:22:18.853
  • You're gonna go through your entire life making the same
  • 00:22:18.853 --> 00:22:21.589
  • Relational mistakes over and over and over and over and
  • 00:22:21.589 --> 00:22:25.693
  • You're not gonna get what you want out of that relationship,
  • 00:22:25.693 --> 00:22:28.629
  • An intimate, satisfying, soul satisfying relationship, the
  • 00:22:28.629 --> 00:22:34.635
  • Kind that god intended for you to have.
  • 00:22:34.635 --> 00:22:38.038
  • How do i get the wisdom to stop making foolish mistakes
  • 00:22:38.038 --> 00:22:42.576
  • In relationships?
  • 00:22:42.576 --> 00:22:44.378
  • Well, there's only two places you get wisdom.
  • 00:22:44.378 --> 00:22:46.947
  • You don't get it from college, you don't get it from online,
  • 00:22:46.947 --> 00:22:51.919
  • You know, blogs, you don't get it from tv shows, you get wisdom
  • 00:22:51.919 --> 00:22:56.857
  • From knowing god and doing what he says to do, doing his word.
  • 00:22:56.857 --> 00:23:01.595
  • Knowing god and doing his word.
  • 00:23:01.595 --> 00:23:03.164
  • You can get intelligence, you can get facts, you can get
  • 00:23:03.164 --> 00:23:06.567
  • Information, you can get smarts, you can get technical skills
  • 00:23:06.567 --> 00:23:09.937
  • From going to school, but you don't get wisdom from going
  • 00:23:09.937 --> 00:23:12.907
  • To school.
  • 00:23:12.907 --> 00:23:14.275
  • You get wisdom from knowing god and doing what he says to do
  • 00:23:14.275 --> 00:23:18.179
  • 'cause he is the source of all wisdom.
  • 00:23:18.179 --> 00:23:22.983
  • Now, this book, the bible, this is filled with relational wisdom
  • 00:23:22.983 --> 00:23:29.423
  • For you and if you'll stick with me for the next six weeks, we're
  • 00:23:29.423 --> 00:23:34.595
  • Gonna help revolutionize your relationships.
  • 00:23:34.595 --> 00:23:38.399
  • And my goal for this series is that you'll learn what god says
  • 00:23:38.399 --> 00:23:41.569
  • To do and then you'll do it.
  • 00:23:41.569 --> 00:23:44.738
  • Two verses.
  • 00:23:44.738 --> 00:23:46.073
  • Look up here on the screen.
  • 00:23:46.073 --> 00:23:47.441
  • Psalm 111:10, "respect for the lord is the beginning
  • 00:23:47.441 --> 00:23:52.713
  • Of wisdom."
  • 00:23:52.713 --> 00:23:54.048
  • You want wisdom in your relationship?
  • 00:23:54.048 --> 00:23:55.416
  • You gotta start with the relationship to the lord.
  • 00:23:55.416 --> 00:23:57.918
  • And the bible says in colossians chapter 2, "jesus is the key
  • 00:23:57.918 --> 00:24:03.190
  • That opens all the hidden treasures of god's wisdom
  • 00:24:03.190 --> 00:24:08.128
  • And knowledge."
  • 00:24:08.128 --> 00:24:09.864
  • You gotta get to know jesus.
  • 00:24:09.864 --> 00:24:11.632
  • I got a letter a while back where a guy told me he said,
  • 00:24:11.632 --> 00:24:14.001
  • "rick, all my relationships constantly fell apart until i
  • 00:24:14.001 --> 00:24:19.006
  • Met jesus and i began to learn the wisdom he gave me."
  • 00:24:19.006 --> 00:24:23.777
  • Have you met jesus?
  • 00:24:23.777 --> 00:24:25.746
  • Let's bow our heads.
  • 00:24:25.746 --> 00:24:29.650
  • Father, i thank you for your word, that you want us to be
  • 00:24:29.650 --> 00:24:33.220
  • Wise, not foolish in our relationships.
  • 00:24:33.220 --> 00:24:36.557
  • And i pray that even today everyone here will make a
  • 00:24:36.557 --> 00:24:39.226
  • Commitment to be with us for these six weeks as we talk about
  • 00:24:39.226 --> 00:24:43.731
  • How to strengthen our good relationships, how to heal our
  • 00:24:43.731 --> 00:24:48.068
  • Bad ones, how to deal with the crazy makers in our lives.
  • 00:24:48.068 --> 00:24:52.439
  • But lord, today we start with us.
  • 00:24:52.439 --> 00:24:56.677
  • Why don't you pray this prayer, "dear jesus, help me to not
  • 00:24:56.677 --> 00:24:59.046
  • Compromise my integrity.
  • 00:24:59.046 --> 00:25:02.983
  • Help me not to antagonize people's anger.
  • 00:25:02.983 --> 00:25:08.088
  • Help me not to minimize people's feelings.
  • 00:25:08.088 --> 00:25:13.027
  • Help me not to criticize people's suggestions or
  • 00:25:13.027 --> 00:25:16.964
  • Emphasize their mistakes.
  • 00:25:16.964 --> 00:25:20.734
  • Help me not to disguise who i really am.
  • 00:25:20.734 --> 00:25:24.872
  • Help me to be authentic and real and genuine."
  • 00:25:24.872 --> 00:25:29.710
  • Say, "god, i need your wisdom.
  • 00:25:29.710 --> 00:25:32.379
  • I wanna know you, jesus christ, and i wanna do your word."
  • 00:25:32.379 --> 00:25:38.152
  • If you've never invited christ in our life, say, "jesus christ,
  • 00:25:38.152 --> 00:25:41.288
  • Come into my heart in life right now and take control of my life.
  • 00:25:41.288 --> 00:25:45.793
  • I want to learn to trust you and love you.
  • 00:25:45.793 --> 00:25:48.829
  • In your name i pray, amen."
  • 00:25:48.829 --> 00:25:52.700
  • ♪♪♪
  • 00:25:52.700 --> 00:26:08.782
  • Female announcer: one of the most popular bible study
  • 00:26:02.710 --> 00:26:10.784
  • Resources here at daily hope are the bible scripture cards.
  • 00:26:10.784 --> 00:26:15.122
  • And because so many people ask for them, pastor rick has
  • 00:26:15.122 --> 00:26:18.425
  • Developed a special set of 52 cards with verses selected
  • 00:26:18.425 --> 00:26:22.529
  • Specifically to help you develop relationships that are
  • 00:26:22.529 --> 00:26:25.399
  • Life-giving and filled with joy and purpose.
  • 00:26:25.399 --> 00:26:30.170
  • These stunning eye-catching cards will help you memorize the
  • 00:26:30.170 --> 00:26:33.340
  • Word of god so you have it when you need it most,
  • 00:26:33.340 --> 00:26:37.077
  • Something you hear pastor rick talking about all the time.
  • 00:26:37.077 --> 00:26:41.448
  • Today when you support pastor rick's "daily hope" with a gift
  • 00:26:41.448 --> 00:26:44.685
  • To help share the hope of jesus christ with people around the
  • 00:26:44.685 --> 00:26:48.322
  • World, we'll send you the relationship scripture cards to
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  • Say thanks for your financial support of this ministry.
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  • ♪♪♪
  • 00:26:55.129 --> 00:27:01.035
  • ♪♪♪
  • 00:27:01.035 --> 00:27:01.035