The Winning Walk with Dr. Ed Young is the international on-air and online teaching ministry of Dr. Ed Young. The Winning Walk proclaims the proven truth of God’s Word to give men and women the world over a winning way to live life.
#Relationships
#EmotionalHealth
#MentalHealth
#Marriage
#Faithfulness
#Forgiveness
#Religion
#Jesus
#Sin
#inActive
#EdYoung
#Sexuality
#Husband
#Wife
#Sex
#Adultery
#Pornography
#Cheating
#TheWinningWalkwithDr.EdYoung
#SexOutsideofMarriage
Closed captions
Show Timecode
The Winning Walk with Dr. Ed Young | Ed Young - Adultery | May 13, 2025
- ...
- 00:00:00.633 --> 00:00:00.356
- ♪♪♪
- 00:00:00.824 --> 00:00:10.333
- ♪♪♪
- 00:00:10.467 --> 00:00:15.171
- ♪♪♪
- 00:00:15.305 --> 00:00:17.407
- What's in a thought?
- 00:00:20.910 --> 00:00:27.183
- Just a thought-psht?
- 00:00:27.183 --> 00:00:29.986
- A lot more than most of us would imagine.
- 00:00:29.986 --> 00:00:34.023
- When you have a thought, when i have a thought,
- 00:00:34.023 --> 00:00:36.192
- You know what takes place?
- 00:00:36.192 --> 00:00:38.328
- Immediately, there is triggered in your brain and in my brain an
- 00:00:38.328 --> 00:00:43.733
- Electrochemical response that surges throughout our body, and
- 00:00:43.733 --> 00:00:50.173
- Electrical magnetic waves goes through every part of your being
- 00:00:50.173 --> 00:00:55.178
- And every part of my being because it's all linked up
- 00:00:55.178 --> 00:00:58.781
- Together when we have a single thought.
- 00:00:58.781 --> 00:01:03.419
- In fact, when you and i have a single thought,
- 00:01:03.419 --> 00:01:06.623
- Over five hundred billion reactions take
- 00:01:06.623 --> 00:01:11.528
- Place just that instant with one thought.
- 00:01:11.528 --> 00:01:18.134
- Now we've identified only about two thousand
- 00:01:18.134 --> 00:01:21.471
- Of those reactions; but that's how
- 00:01:21.471 --> 00:01:23.606
- Magnificently we are constructed.
- 00:01:23.606 --> 00:01:27.110
- And if we could hear these chemical waves, and these
- 00:01:27.110 --> 00:01:31.681
- Electric waves as they go through our body with every
- 00:01:31.681 --> 00:01:34.918
- Thought, i think you would hear a mighty symphony being played.
- 00:01:34.918 --> 00:01:42.091
- A thought-a single thought.
- 00:01:42.091 --> 00:01:45.962
- In other words, it's almost like your brain and my brain is a
- 00:01:45.962 --> 00:01:48.731
- Kind of laboratory, and when we have a single thought in your
- 00:01:48.731 --> 00:01:55.305
- Brain and in my brain; chemicals are given off and electrical
- 00:01:55.305 --> 00:01:59.776
- Impulses are given off that affect everything about you,
- 00:01:59.776 --> 00:02:04.514
- And everything about me just with a
- 00:02:04.514 --> 00:02:06.616
- Pwhoo-single thought-single thought...
- 00:02:06.616 --> 00:02:11.654
- I have a little book someone gave me entitled,
- 00:02:11.654 --> 00:02:13.990
- Who switched off my brain?
- 00:02:13.990 --> 00:02:18.127
- The author of this book says it's so important how our brain
- 00:02:18.127 --> 00:02:22.432
- Functions and what we think about; this author says that
- 00:02:22.432 --> 00:02:27.003
- 87% of all physical and mental illnesses stem and
- 00:02:27.003 --> 00:02:33.543
- Originate with our thoughts-87%.
- 00:02:33.543 --> 00:02:38.214
- And her thesis, the author of this book, she says there's only
- 00:02:38.214 --> 00:02:41.718
- 13% of your illness and my illness, physically, mentally,
- 00:02:41.718 --> 00:02:46.089
- Emotionally, psychologically, etc...
- 00:02:46.089 --> 00:02:48.591
- Comes from our environment, from the food we eat,
- 00:02:48.591 --> 00:02:52.028
- Or from our dna makeup.
- 00:02:52.028 --> 00:02:54.998
- Now i would debate with that study.
- 00:02:54.998 --> 00:02:57.667
- I think you could reverse it and say, "well, what do we eat?"
- 00:02:57.667 --> 00:03:00.737
- And our environment and our dna affects our health, and
- 00:03:00.737 --> 00:03:04.207
- Therefore, that affects our thought process,
- 00:03:04.207 --> 00:03:06.342
- So i think it's like arguing the chicken and the egg.
- 00:03:06.342 --> 00:03:09.479
- Which is more important?
- 00:03:09.479 --> 00:03:10.947
- The body to wholeness and health,
- 00:03:10.947 --> 00:03:13.082
- Or the mind to wholeness and health?
- 00:03:13.082 --> 00:03:15.051
- And i don't think anybody knows.
- 00:03:15.051 --> 00:03:18.121
- The returns are not in.
- 00:03:18.121 --> 00:03:19.455
- The truth is, we know more about saturn relates to mars way out
- 00:03:19.455 --> 00:03:25.962
- There in the ionosphere, than we know of how your brain
- 00:03:25.962 --> 00:03:30.366
- And my brain relates to our bodies.
- 00:03:30.366 --> 00:03:33.736
- We still don't know very much about that,
- 00:03:33.736 --> 00:03:37.540
- But we do know they are tied together.
- 00:03:37.540 --> 00:03:43.212
- We know they are united, mind and body, and we've discovered
- 00:03:43.212 --> 00:03:47.750
- That in marriage, it is the whole body and the whole life of
- 00:03:47.750 --> 00:03:53.990
- A person engaging with someone of the opposite sex in marriage,
- 00:03:53.990 --> 00:03:58.227
- And it takes place with a whole life,
- 00:03:58.227 --> 00:04:01.331
- And the whole body of the other person.
- 00:04:01.331 --> 00:04:03.900
- You can't just have body to body;
- 00:04:03.900 --> 00:04:06.235
- You have also have to have life to life.
- 00:04:06.235 --> 00:04:10.239
- Life to life, body to body is marriage.
- 00:04:10.239 --> 00:04:13.009
- Body to body is adultery outside of marriage.
- 00:04:13.009 --> 00:04:17.513
- And by the way, unless someone gets too pious here,
- 00:04:17.513 --> 00:04:20.183
- Need to understand that every one of us here have broken
- 00:04:20.183 --> 00:04:22.785
- Every one of the commandments.
- 00:04:22.785 --> 00:04:24.120
- Anybody want to debate that?
- 00:04:24.120 --> 00:04:26.989
- That's what jesus said.
- 00:04:26.989 --> 00:04:29.025
- He took it away just from the physical act and said in our
- 00:04:29.025 --> 00:04:34.130
- Minds-in our minds, we break this commandment, and he says if
- 00:04:34.130 --> 00:04:39.736
- We don't clean up our minds, we need to take radical action.
- 00:04:39.736 --> 00:04:44.140
- It's pretty radical to punch out one eye, isn't it?
- 00:04:44.140 --> 00:04:47.610
- To cut off one hand...
- 00:04:47.610 --> 00:04:48.945
- He did not mean that literally.
- 00:04:48.945 --> 00:04:51.581
- He was saying there are things we have to run from; we have to
- 00:04:51.581 --> 00:04:55.818
- Cut out of our lives in order to be pure; in order to have
- 00:04:55.818 --> 00:05:00.656
- Marriages that grow and sizzle, that are relevant
- 00:05:00.656 --> 00:05:05.027
- And practical for this 21st century.
- 00:05:05.027 --> 00:05:08.464
- And so we're talking about adultery.
- 00:05:08.464 --> 00:05:11.667
- There is mental adultery; there is physical adultery, and the
- 00:05:11.667 --> 00:05:16.339
- Physical adultery is deadlier.
- 00:05:16.339 --> 00:05:18.674
- We can't really rank sin, though mental adultery is also deadly.
- 00:05:18.674 --> 00:05:22.845
- But physical adultery plays back into your body and into my body
- 00:05:22.845 --> 00:05:27.984
- When we commit physical adultery.
- 00:05:27.984 --> 00:05:30.286
- That's what paul says, see?
- 00:05:30.286 --> 00:05:32.021
- That's what paul says...
- 00:05:32.021 --> 00:05:33.489
- It, it affects who you are inside more than any
- 00:05:33.489 --> 00:05:37.493
- Other sin-sexual immorality does.
- 00:05:37.493 --> 00:05:42.765
- To show you how serious it is, there was a group of women.
- 00:05:42.765 --> 00:05:47.270
- When their kids got in school,
- 00:05:47.270 --> 00:05:48.604
- They decided they would study french.
- 00:05:48.604 --> 00:05:51.541
- And so eleven women got in a french class together, and they
- 00:05:51.541 --> 00:05:55.478
- Were one day at a meal, and one of women, they got close and
- 00:05:55.478 --> 00:05:59.882
- They would share their thoughts and share a little extra,
- 00:05:59.882 --> 00:06:03.419
- Extracurricular activity with the other women, and they
- 00:06:03.419 --> 00:06:06.189
- Were, and one woman said, "well, how many of us..."
- 00:06:06.189 --> 00:06:08.891
- (eleven of them) "how many of you women have been faithful to
- 00:06:08.891 --> 00:06:12.762
- Your marriage, faithful to your husband
- 00:06:12.762 --> 00:06:14.797
- All the time you've been married?"
- 00:06:14.797 --> 00:06:16.666
- And one hand went up out of eleven.
- 00:06:16.666 --> 00:06:19.669
- Now a woman went home and told her husband-said we were eating
- 00:06:19.669 --> 00:06:22.905
- Together, and, and named the woman who asked how many had
- 00:06:22.905 --> 00:06:25.741
- Been faithful and said only one hand went up, and she said,
- 00:06:25.741 --> 00:06:28.277
- "that wasn't my hand."
- 00:06:28.277 --> 00:06:29.612
- And her husband said, wha, wha, what?
- 00:06:29.612 --> 00:06:32.281
- You've been unfaithful?" she said, "oh no!
- 00:06:32.281 --> 00:06:34.217
- I haven't been unfaithful, but i didn't raise my hand."
- 00:06:34.217 --> 00:06:36.385
- And the husband said, "well, why didn't you raise your hand?"
- 00:06:36.385 --> 00:06:39.655
- And she said, "i was ashamed."
- 00:06:39.655 --> 00:06:47.864
- That's like being ashamed that when there's a flu epidemic,
- 00:06:47.864 --> 00:06:51.234
- You don't have the flu!
- 00:06:51.234 --> 00:06:56.072
- This is our world, and there's so
- 00:06:56.072 --> 00:07:00.409
- Many kinds of deadly affairs.
- 00:07:00.409 --> 00:07:02.778
- Look up there.
- 00:07:02.778 --> 00:07:04.113
- I want you to see all the kinds of affairs.
- 00:07:04.113 --> 00:07:05.915
- We put some names-this is not original
- 00:07:05.915 --> 00:07:07.850
- With me-some names of, affairs.
- 00:07:07.850 --> 00:07:11.220
- There's the friendship affair-self-explanatory.
- 00:07:11.220 --> 00:07:14.657
- There's the office affair.
- 00:07:14.657 --> 00:07:17.493
- There's be a good neighbor affair.
- 00:07:17.493 --> 00:07:20.830
- There's a cup of coffee affair.
- 00:07:20.830 --> 00:07:23.699
- There's the seize the moment affair.
- 00:07:23.699 --> 00:07:27.136
- There's the people helper affair.
- 00:07:27.136 --> 00:07:30.973
- There's the old acquaintance fair, affair.
- 00:07:30.973 --> 00:07:32.909
- Stop right there for a minute.
- 00:07:32.909 --> 00:07:34.577
- We have a counseling service in our church
- 00:07:34.577 --> 00:07:36.546
- You may or may not know about.
- 00:07:36.546 --> 00:07:37.914
- We have twelve psychotherapists, godly men in trai,
- 00:07:37.914 --> 00:07:41.083
- Men and women-christians who, who work in counseling,
- 00:07:41.083 --> 00:07:44.453
- And they tell me that there is an epidemic of
- 00:07:44.453 --> 00:07:48.758
- Affairs that start with facebook.
- 00:07:48.758 --> 00:07:52.562
- They start online.
- 00:07:52.562 --> 00:07:53.896
- Someone runs down someone they went to college, they went to
- 00:07:53.896 --> 00:07:56.566
- High school with; someone they used to know in their hometown.
- 00:07:56.566 --> 00:07:59.569
- They begin to talk, and they, they exchange pictures with
- 00:07:59.569 --> 00:08:02.471
- Them, and they may even show them to their mate;
- 00:08:02.471 --> 00:08:05.575
- But said this has led to so much immorality,
- 00:08:05.575 --> 00:08:08.311
- You wouldn't believe it.
- 00:08:08.311 --> 00:08:09.645
- In fact, there, there's a lawyer's group that specialized
- 00:08:09.645 --> 00:08:12.915
- In divorce, and they just came out with this statistic.
- 00:08:12.915 --> 00:08:15.585
- Said, "81% of those who are trying to prove
- 00:08:15.585 --> 00:08:19.522
- Infidelity in their marriage have used facebook and the
- 00:08:19.522 --> 00:08:24.293
- Correspondence that took on there.
- 00:08:24.293 --> 00:08:26.495
- Therefore, in our counseling, you know what
- 00:08:26.495 --> 00:08:28.431
- We say to every married person?
- 00:08:28.431 --> 00:08:29.999
- Get off facebook!
- 00:08:29.999 --> 00:08:31.534
- Get out of all this junk because it leads you astray.
- 00:08:31.534 --> 00:08:34.837
- It's happening over and over again in our culture.
- 00:08:34.837 --> 00:08:37.239
- (audience applauds).
- 00:08:37.239 --> 00:08:42.445
- Another kind of affair-that's the old acquaintance.
- 00:08:42.445 --> 00:08:44.447
- The same interest affair.
- 00:08:44.447 --> 00:08:45.915
- You know, we like the same things, we're so luck mo...
- 00:08:45.915 --> 00:08:48.384
- Uh, the western affair.
- 00:08:48.384 --> 00:08:50.386
- Let me stop and explain that one.
- 00:08:50.386 --> 00:08:52.788
- The western affair is like, you know, the guy who puts
- 00:08:52.788 --> 00:08:57.560
- A notch in his gun every time he kills somebody,
- 00:08:57.560 --> 00:08:59.595
- The old westerns?
- 00:08:59.595 --> 00:09:00.930
- Well there's some men who put notches in their belt
- 00:09:00.930 --> 00:09:05.001
- Every time they sleep with a woman.
- 00:09:05.001 --> 00:09:07.970
- Oh yeah, very prominent in our culture.
- 00:09:07.970 --> 00:09:10.539
- Sure...
- 00:09:10.539 --> 00:09:11.874
- And then the last one, the pornographic affair.
- 00:09:11.874 --> 00:09:14.944
- Primarily men, some women.
- 00:09:14.944 --> 00:09:18.080
- Did you know that's an epidemic in america?
- 00:09:18.080 --> 00:09:21.984
- Listen carefully: the 7th largest business in
- 00:09:21.984 --> 00:09:26.789
- The united states is pornography.
- 00:09:26.789 --> 00:09:30.960
- And some believe it is the most
- 00:09:30.960 --> 00:09:32.528
- Profitable business in america today.
- 00:09:32.528 --> 00:09:36.499
- And it touches christians especially-all of us,
- 00:09:36.499 --> 00:09:40.670
- But christians especially because it is pleasurable,
- 00:09:40.670 --> 00:09:44.573
- And it is secret.
- 00:09:44.573 --> 00:09:47.410
- And we have the idea that it doesn't hurt anybody, forgetting
- 00:09:47.410 --> 00:09:51.147
- That pornography is an adulterous endeavor that rips
- 00:09:51.147 --> 00:09:55.451
- Out your soul and will destroy the heart of your marriage,
- 00:09:55.451 --> 00:09:59.789
- Your christian witness, and affect you and your family
- 00:09:59.789 --> 00:10:03.325
- For years, and years, and years to come.
- 00:10:03.325 --> 00:10:05.461
- It is highly addictive.
- 00:10:05.461 --> 00:10:09.065
- What we hear, what we see, and it is a devastating,
- 00:10:09.065 --> 00:10:14.804
- Devastating habit, and a deadly habit.
- 00:10:14.804 --> 00:10:17.807
- We have hundreds of men, right now in our church in
- 00:10:17.807 --> 00:10:21.444
- Support groups who are crying out for help,
- 00:10:21.444 --> 00:10:26.882
- Saying it's taken the very life and vitality out of them.
- 00:10:26.882 --> 00:10:32.455
- As young boys, it was masturbation, and now it moves
- 00:10:32.455 --> 00:10:35.424
- Into pornography and another area, and it is deadly
- 00:10:35.424 --> 00:10:39.095
- Gentlemen-don't think there's no harm, no foul.
- 00:10:39.095 --> 00:10:42.498
- It affects the deepest part of your soul.
- 00:10:42.498 --> 00:10:47.503
- Let's look at the three major causes.
- 00:10:47.503 --> 00:10:49.238
- These are big categories.
- 00:10:49.238 --> 00:10:50.573
- There, there are, there are hundreds of causes of adultery,
- 00:10:50.573 --> 00:10:53.242
- But i, i put them under three big categories.
- 00:10:53.242 --> 00:10:55.878
- I think you could put all the other
- 00:10:55.878 --> 00:10:57.813
- Causes as subsets under this.
- 00:10:57.813 --> 00:10:59.348
- Look at it on your screen.
- 00:10:59.348 --> 00:11:00.683
- First of all, undeveloped emotion, undeveloped emotions.
- 00:11:00.683 --> 00:11:06.055
- If you marry somebody who's still adolescent.
- 00:11:06.055 --> 00:11:08.657
- If you marry somebody like that,
- 00:11:08.657 --> 00:11:09.992
- That's a setup for adultery.
- 00:11:09.992 --> 00:11:11.694
- By the way, these causes doesn't mean,
- 00:11:11.694 --> 00:11:14.196
- "well, i have a license for adultery..."
- 00:11:14.196 --> 00:11:15.931
- Don't, don't make it, don't make that mistake.
- 00:11:15.931 --> 00:11:18.234
- I'm not saying that by any...
- 00:11:18.234 --> 00:11:19.635
- I am saying these are general causes,
- 00:11:19.635 --> 00:11:21.704
- General realms for adultery.
- 00:11:21.704 --> 00:11:25.641
- So, undeveloped emotions, adolescent.
- 00:11:25.641 --> 00:11:28.844
- What's an adolescent?
- 00:11:28.844 --> 00:11:30.279
- Best definition i've ever heard-adolescent is someone
- 00:11:30.279 --> 00:11:32.448
- Who's split right in the middle.
- 00:11:32.448 --> 00:11:34.183
- Someone on this side is an adult; on that side is a child.
- 00:11:34.183 --> 00:11:38.087
- Teenagers, right?
- 00:11:38.087 --> 00:11:39.755
- One minute a teenage girl will make a decision.
- 00:11:39.755 --> 00:11:41.857
- You'll say, "i'm so proud of her!
- 00:11:41.857 --> 00:11:45.060
- She's made a big-time, adult decision..."
- 00:11:45.060 --> 00:11:47.830
- And the next hour, she'll make a decision.
- 00:11:47.830 --> 00:11:50.666
- You say, "you know, she acts like she's 9 years old!"
- 00:11:50.666 --> 00:11:54.203
- That's an adolescent.
- 00:11:54.203 --> 00:11:56.806
- And a lot of us have married adolescents.
- 00:11:56.806 --> 00:11:58.741
- A lot of people marry adolescents.
- 00:11:58.741 --> 00:12:00.643
- They've still got these emotional holds.
- 00:12:00.643 --> 00:12:02.578
- All of us are not totally mature-i understand that.
- 00:12:02.578 --> 00:12:06.215
- But some people are really, really
- 00:12:06.215 --> 00:12:08.150
- Immature in so many, many areas.
- 00:12:08.150 --> 00:12:11.987
- For example, the area of being spoiled.
- 00:12:11.987 --> 00:12:18.060
- If you married somebody else-their mom and dad, they
- 00:12:18.060 --> 00:12:19.795
- Just-the wo, the sun would rise and set on that son and
- 00:12:19.795 --> 00:12:22.865
- Daughter-"boy, i'm going to give them anything and everything,
- 00:12:22.865 --> 00:12:26.101
- And i want to provide for them
- 00:12:26.101 --> 00:12:27.503
- And have the things i didn't have..."
- 00:12:27.503 --> 00:12:29.438
- And they're totally spoiled.
- 00:12:29.438 --> 00:12:31.106
- If you married someone like that and they've had
- 00:12:31.106 --> 00:12:33.742
- A token of success in life, that's a setup.
- 00:12:33.742 --> 00:12:39.348
- They're, they're a setup for somebody who says,
- 00:12:39.348 --> 00:12:42.384
- "well, i deserve this.
- 00:12:42.384 --> 00:12:43.719
- I work hard, and i am successful..."
- 00:12:43.719 --> 00:12:48.224
- I'm thinking of, of a couple, and he, he slept with a lot
- 00:12:48.224 --> 00:12:52.094
- Of kids when he was in high school, and he married
- 00:12:52.094 --> 00:12:56.832
- This beautiful, wonderful girl, and they joined the church,
- 00:12:56.832 --> 00:13:00.102
- And they had a couple of children.
- 00:13:00.102 --> 00:13:01.971
- After about three years, he began to sleep around and go
- 00:13:01.971 --> 00:13:06.342
- Here and go there at meetings, and he became an adulterer.
- 00:13:06.342 --> 00:13:10.479
- And finally it was discovered, and, and they asked him why in
- 00:13:10.479 --> 00:13:16.051
- A counseling environment, and he said, you know,
- 00:13:16.051 --> 00:13:19.521
- "is it a problem with the kids?" "we got great kids..."
- 00:13:19.521 --> 00:13:22.424
- "problem with your wife?" "oh no, i love her!
- 00:13:22.424 --> 00:13:24.326
- We have wonderful, uh, love relationship together."
- 00:13:24.326 --> 00:13:26.795
- "is it a problem with your job?" "oh no!
- 00:13:26.795 --> 00:13:29.698
- I'm doing fine there..." "is it a problem..."?
- 00:13:29.698 --> 00:13:31.600
- "no, no...everything was great."
- 00:13:31.600 --> 00:13:33.535
- "well then why do you, why are you unfaithful?"
- 00:13:33.535 --> 00:13:35.471
- And he finally said, "well, i guess it's
- 00:13:35.471 --> 00:13:37.439
- That forbidden fruit thing..."
- 00:13:37.439 --> 00:13:41.710
- Know about the forbidden fruit thing?
- 00:13:41.710 --> 00:13:43.512
- Here's adam and eve in the garden of eden.
- 00:13:43.512 --> 00:13:45.314
- They had-god said, "you can eat of the fruit of the trees of all
- 00:13:45.314 --> 00:13:48.217
- These garden, all these trees-thousands of trees!
- 00:13:48.217 --> 00:13:51.353
- Man, isn't that enough for you, adam?
- 00:13:51.353 --> 00:13:53.489
- Except one-just one.
- 00:13:53.489 --> 00:13:56.592
- Out of all the trees on the planet in a pristine
- 00:13:56.592 --> 00:14:00.629
- Environment, only one tree you can't eat out of, adam!"
- 00:14:00.629 --> 00:14:05.768
- "oh!
- 00:14:05.768 --> 00:14:07.102
- Just that one?"
- 00:14:07.102 --> 00:14:08.637
- It's the forbidden fruit thing...
- 00:14:08.637 --> 00:14:10.706
- Remember "candid camera"? some of us remember that.
- 00:14:10.706 --> 00:14:12.675
- Remember, they, sometime they'd walk down the street, and one
- 00:14:12.675 --> 00:14:15.110
- They had a wall there, and they had a big hole there and says,
- 00:14:15.110 --> 00:14:18.213
- "don't look through this hole..."
- 00:14:18.213 --> 00:14:19.915
- (audience laughs).
- 00:14:19.915 --> 00:14:21.250
- And they took pictures of people who walked by it.
- 00:14:21.250 --> 00:14:23.252
- Well normally you wouldn't look through the hole,
- 00:14:23.252 --> 00:14:25.187
- But the don't-and they would look...
- 00:14:25.187 --> 00:14:29.258
- Uh, the other day in, in the hall of the church, they, they'd
- 00:14:29.258 --> 00:14:32.761
- Painted, and they'd put up a sign, "wet paint."
- 00:14:32.761 --> 00:14:35.898
- And i walked by in the morning-"wet paint"-and i came
- 00:14:35.898 --> 00:14:38.267
- Back by about an hour later and it was still up, and i said,
- 00:14:38.267 --> 00:14:40.769
- "you know, i wonder if that paint's dried?"
- 00:14:40.769 --> 00:14:43.205
- (audience laughs).
- 00:14:43.205 --> 00:14:47.276
- It hadn't dried!
- 00:14:47.276 --> 00:14:49.812
- There's something about prohibitions, isn't it?
- 00:14:49.812 --> 00:14:53.382
- That, that's like kids, teenagers, adolescents.
- 00:14:53.382 --> 00:14:56.752
- "don't you smoke!"
- 00:14:56.752 --> 00:14:58.087
- Well, you get a chance to smoke, and you know,
- 00:14:58.087 --> 00:15:00.356
- Well, you're gonna do it!
- 00:15:00.356 --> 00:15:01.690
- Paul tournier, the psychotherapist said that
- 00:15:01.690 --> 00:15:04.360
- Children begin to grow up when they begin to do things in
- 00:15:04.360 --> 00:15:07.162
- Secret, not necessarily bad thi...
- 00:15:07.162 --> 00:15:08.564
- Secret from their parents; when they begin to have things they
- 00:15:08.564 --> 00:15:12.468
- Don't tell their parents, like a little girl.
- 00:15:12.468 --> 00:15:14.636
- The parents said, "now when you go and walk across the street,
- 00:15:14.636 --> 00:15:16.839
- Make sure you walk on this side and not on that side..."
- 00:15:16.839 --> 00:15:19.675
- But her friend took her and she walked on the street on that
- 00:15:19.675 --> 00:15:22.011
- Side, and she didn't tell her parents.
- 00:15:22.011 --> 00:15:24.079
- See, that's a part of growing up.
- 00:15:24.079 --> 00:15:25.914
- That's childishness, and a lot of people
- 00:15:25.914 --> 00:15:28.083
- In marriages are still adolescents.
- 00:15:28.083 --> 00:15:31.153
- "oh, i, i can't do that!
- 00:15:31.153 --> 00:15:32.488
- That's wrong!"
- 00:15:32.488 --> 00:15:33.822
- Oh, it has unusual appeal as they begin to play that
- 00:15:33.822 --> 00:15:37.793
- Pornograph in your mind, and you play it out in reality and have
- 00:15:37.793 --> 00:15:41.897
- Some rationalization-"well, my marriage isn't all that
- 00:15:41.897 --> 00:15:44.800
- I thought it was gonna be!"
- 00:15:44.800 --> 00:15:46.602
- You married a kid, an adolescent.
- 00:15:46.602 --> 00:15:51.006
- Look at the next one.
- 00:15:51.006 --> 00:15:53.242
- Unresolved conflict.
- 00:15:53.242 --> 00:15:56.345
- You know, in a lot of families, the way conflict is handled,
- 00:15:56.345 --> 00:15:58.080
- Usually the male-they just, "i'm not going to argue.
- 00:15:58.080 --> 00:16:00.249
- I'm through..."
- 00:16:00.249 --> 00:16:01.583
- Then we just go into our cocoon; we go into our shell.
- 00:16:01.583 --> 00:16:03.519
- We're not gonna argue.
- 00:16:03.519 --> 00:16:04.853
- "just go ahead-you have your problem.
- 00:16:04.853 --> 00:16:06.655
- I'm not gonna get with it..."
- 00:16:06.655 --> 00:16:07.990
- And a lot of marriages, when there's unresolved conflict, you
- 00:16:07.990 --> 00:16:11.994
- Know, they, they, they're in the ring together, and they're
- 00:16:11.994 --> 00:16:13.929
- Boxing, and finally the husband goes in his corner, and the wife
- 00:16:13.929 --> 00:16:18.700
- Goes in her corner, and they stay in their corner.
- 00:16:18.700 --> 00:16:22.104
- You live your life; i live my life, and they never do really
- 00:16:22.104 --> 00:16:26.809
- Relate until they come in the middle of the ring,
- 00:16:26.809 --> 00:16:28.744
- Exchange a few blows now and then.
- 00:16:28.744 --> 00:16:30.712
- Then they go back in their corner...
- 00:16:30.712 --> 00:16:34.216
- Am i speaking to anybody?
- 00:16:34.216 --> 00:16:38.120
- What should happen?
- 00:16:38.120 --> 00:16:40.823
- Ii corinthians 5:18 says, "we are reconciled with god."
- 00:16:40.823 --> 00:16:45.794
- Jesus christ gets you and me right with god.
- 00:16:45.794 --> 00:16:48.964
- Isn't that terrific?
- 00:16:48.964 --> 00:16:50.299
- And therefore, because we get right with god, then we are to
- 00:16:50.299 --> 00:16:53.669
- Be in the business of reconciliation.
- 00:16:53.669 --> 00:16:56.305
- What needs to happen to this man or woman in the corner-they need
- 00:16:56.305 --> 00:16:59.575
- To say, "o' god, revive my marriage, my heart."
- 00:16:59.575 --> 00:17:03.278
- And they need to see where there involvement in silence, or
- 00:17:03.278 --> 00:17:06.148
- Whatever the situation and get right with god on their knees,
- 00:17:06.148 --> 00:17:09.785
- And then get up and go and walk in the middle of the ring
- 00:17:09.785 --> 00:17:13.188
- -if necessary, walk on the other side of the ring and
- 00:17:13.188 --> 00:17:16.325
- Try to find mutual reconciliation.
- 00:17:16.325 --> 00:17:19.995
- There'll be conflicts.
- 00:17:19.995 --> 00:17:21.330
- We've got to know how to resolve those conflicts in marriage, and
- 00:17:21.330 --> 00:17:25.701
- The way to do it is not to bury it
- 00:17:25.701 --> 00:17:27.636
- And cover it up and push it down.
- 00:17:27.636 --> 00:17:31.640
- This is what happens.
- 00:17:31.640 --> 00:17:33.509
- And a way to handle some of these confli...
- 00:17:33.509 --> 00:17:35.978
- What are the conflicts over?
- 00:17:35.978 --> 00:17:37.312
- Children, money, sex, schedule -i mean,
- 00:17:37.312 --> 00:17:44.520
- A lot of things, a lot of things conflict.
- 00:17:44.520 --> 00:17:48.891
- And how do we avoid some of that?
- 00:17:48.891 --> 00:17:51.026
- Ephesians 4-"don't let the sun go down on your wrath."
- 00:17:51.026 --> 00:17:56.932
- Man, don't, don't go to sleep until you begin to talk, begin
- 00:17:56.932 --> 00:18:01.537
- To get your hearts and lives together.
- 00:18:01.537 --> 00:18:03.472
- Now you have to stay up late a lot of nights.
- 00:18:03.472 --> 00:18:06.275
- Jo beth and i have.
- 00:18:06.275 --> 00:18:08.343
- Don't go to sleep.
- 00:18:08.343 --> 00:18:09.678
- Don't let the sun go down on your wrath.
- 00:18:09.678 --> 00:18:11.380
- When you let the sun,
- 00:18:11.380 --> 00:18:12.714
- Your heart is bruised over a conflict.
- 00:18:12.714 --> 00:18:15.918
- One mate is bruised.
- 00:18:15.918 --> 00:18:17.252
- You sleep on it.
- 00:18:17.252 --> 00:18:18.587
- The next morning, that bruised heart becomes a cold heart.
- 00:18:18.587 --> 00:18:23.392
- You know how that is -you're nice, but,
- 00:18:23.392 --> 00:18:25.627
- You're just too nice, you know...
- 00:18:25.627 --> 00:18:29.431
- Cold.
- 00:18:29.431 --> 00:18:30.766
- Don't look so pious!
- 00:18:30.766 --> 00:18:32.100
- You know exactly what i'm talking about,
- 00:18:32.100 --> 00:18:34.570
- Every married person here...
- 00:18:34.570 --> 00:18:36.138
- It, in a bruised heart, you spend the night with that;
- 00:18:36.138 --> 00:18:38.373
- It becomes a cold heart.
- 00:18:38.373 --> 00:18:39.708
- You stay with it a week or so, it becomes a hard heart.
- 00:18:39.708 --> 00:18:43.345
- Now you've intensified the problem.
- 00:18:43.345 --> 00:18:45.814
- You stay longer than that, it becomes an apathetic heart.
- 00:18:45.814 --> 00:18:49.084
- By the way, when a couple comes and they're fighting and
- 00:18:49.084 --> 00:18:51.186
- Arguing, that's an encouragement.
- 00:18:51.186 --> 00:18:53.088
- It's when they come and they, they're apathetic.
- 00:18:53.088 --> 00:18:55.023
- They'll say, "you know, i don't really care-psht!
- 00:18:55.023 --> 00:18:56.758
- Hah-i'm just-psht!
- 00:18:56.758 --> 00:18:58.093
- I, i don't have-it doesn't matter, whatever she does,
- 00:18:58.093 --> 00:19:00.896
- Whatever he does-makes no difference..."
- 00:19:00.896 --> 00:19:03.365
- You see, that's when the holy spirit really has to do a work.
- 00:19:03.365 --> 00:19:06.368
- So a lot of unresolved conflict, when someone can be with someone
- 00:19:08.237 --> 00:19:11.974
- Else and, and, and there's not conflict, no matter what the
- 00:19:11.974 --> 00:19:16.245
- Situation, and there can be intimacy there.
- 00:19:16.245 --> 00:19:18.413
- There can be sharing there.
- 00:19:18.413 --> 00:19:19.948
- All of a sudden they end up in bed.
- 00:19:19.948 --> 00:19:21.883
- It's because they go home and
- 00:19:21.883 --> 00:19:23.919
- There's so much conflict there...
- 00:19:23.919 --> 00:19:27.689
- You gotta deal with it. bring it out in the open.
- 00:19:27.689 --> 00:19:29.424
- Turn the lights on!
- 00:19:29.424 --> 00:19:32.294
- Third thing: unmet needs.
- 00:19:32.294 --> 00:19:35.330
- Everybody has needs.
- 00:19:35.330 --> 00:19:40.502
- The difference between the creator
- 00:19:38.100 --> 00:19:42.571
- And the creature is needs.
- 00:19:42.571 --> 00:19:44.506
- The creator, god the father, god the son,
- 00:19:44.506 --> 00:19:46.675
- God the holy spirit-they are a self-contained entity,
- 00:19:46.675 --> 00:19:51.847
- The god is.
- 00:19:51.847 --> 00:19:53.415
- The god head is self-contained.
- 00:19:53.415 --> 00:19:55.117
- There is all there to give the fullness.
- 00:19:55.117 --> 00:19:57.886
- God doesn't need anything.
- 00:19:57.886 --> 00:20:00.489
- God is a self-contingent being.
- 00:20:00.489 --> 00:20:05.027
- We are contingent beings as human beings.
- 00:20:05.027 --> 00:20:07.729
- Though we're made in the image of god, we all have needs.
- 00:20:07.729 --> 00:20:10.599
- A new-born babe has more needs than any
- 00:20:10.599 --> 00:20:13.568
- Other animal, remember, on this earth?
- 00:20:13.568 --> 00:20:15.771
- A baby needs a longer time of care than any other animal, and
- 00:20:15.771 --> 00:20:18.740
- When that child is growing, the little girl says,
- 00:20:18.740 --> 00:20:21.343
- "did i do good, mom"?
- 00:20:21.343 --> 00:20:22.678
- "you did good, sarah!"
- 00:20:22.678 --> 00:20:24.980
- "dad, would, would i-i'm sorry..."
- 00:20:24.980 --> 00:20:27.416
- "oh, it's all right, billy."
- 00:20:27.416 --> 00:20:28.984
- They need support, and they have needs
- 00:20:28.984 --> 00:20:30.852
- -all kinds of physical, emotional needs.
- 00:20:30.852 --> 00:20:33.221
- We have to be there to hug, and to help, and to counsel,
- 00:20:33.221 --> 00:20:35.457
- And to laugh, and to tease, and to discipline.
- 00:20:35.457 --> 00:20:37.292
- All those needs...
- 00:20:37.292 --> 00:20:38.627
- When we grow up, do we have needs no longer?
- 00:20:38.627 --> 00:20:40.929
- Certainly we have needs.
- 00:20:40.929 --> 00:20:44.599
- Certainly we have needs, and we need appreciation.
- 00:20:44.599 --> 00:20:49.871
- Wives, i want you to listen to me: you need appreciation,
- 00:20:49.871 --> 00:20:54.543
- But your husband, men need about five times
- 00:20:54.543 --> 00:20:57.713
- More appreciation than women.
- 00:20:57.713 --> 00:20:59.047
- I don't know why -we're just a weaker sex.
- 00:20:59.047 --> 00:21:02.818
- We are!
- 00:21:02.818 --> 00:21:04.453
- Gentlemen, we need more appreciation than the women-not
- 00:21:04.453 --> 00:21:07.122
- That we shouldn't appreciate and admire women.
- 00:21:07.122 --> 00:21:09.157
- Certainly that's a part of meeting their need; but men
- 00:21:09.157 --> 00:21:11.293
- Really need it, and when they come and feel like it's only
- 00:21:11.293 --> 00:21:14.529
- Man, what i can get out of you, what i want you to do,
- 00:21:14.529 --> 00:21:16.598
- How you want...
- 00:21:16.598 --> 00:21:17.933
- Also, in your wife or your husband,
- 00:21:17.933 --> 00:21:20.502
- Accept them the way they are.
- 00:21:20.502 --> 00:21:23.572
- I thought for years i married the only woman in
- 00:21:23.572 --> 00:21:25.741
- The world that couldn't be trained.
- 00:21:25.741 --> 00:21:31.446
- We've got to quit trying to train them-man and women,
- 00:21:31.446 --> 00:21:33.882
- Men and women.
- 00:21:33.882 --> 00:21:35.217
- Accept them!
- 00:21:35.217 --> 00:21:36.752
- And that leads people into affairs because the mate is not
- 00:21:36.752 --> 00:21:39.755
- Accepting them, warts and all, and know that
- 00:21:39.755 --> 00:21:42.791
- God will continue to do a work with them.
- 00:21:42.791 --> 00:21:45.160
- God's not finished with them;
- 00:21:45.160 --> 00:21:46.695
- He's not finished with you or me.
- 00:21:46.695 --> 00:21:48.830
- There has to be acceptance, and there has to be affection,
- 00:21:48.830 --> 00:21:52.367
- Genuine affection with one another.
- 00:21:52.367 --> 00:21:55.036
- So, so this is the unmet needs that are there, and when these
- 00:21:55.036 --> 00:22:00.475
- Needs are not met, it sets anybody up for somebody else to
- 00:22:00.475 --> 00:22:04.713
- Come in and to destroy, and to undercurt,
- 00:22:04.713 --> 00:22:08.350
- Undercut that relationship.
- 00:22:08.350 --> 00:22:11.920
- I want to say two things.
- 00:22:11.920 --> 00:22:15.190
- I want to say these two things as dogmatically, as simply,
- 00:22:15.190 --> 00:22:21.530
- But as powerfully as i can state them-two things.
- 00:22:21.530 --> 00:22:27.035
- Write it in steel in your heart and your mind.
- 00:22:27.035 --> 00:22:32.174
- I'm not going to stumble.
- 00:22:32.174 --> 00:22:35.377
- I want to say simply two things to everybody here: number one,
- 00:22:35.377 --> 00:22:44.219
- Adultery is a cosmic sin,
- 00:22:44.219 --> 00:22:51.493
- Because someone who destroys
- 00:22:51.493 --> 00:22:54.796
- The trust in a marriage and the commitment of a marriage one
- 00:22:54.796 --> 00:23:00.302
- Time, ten times, or whatever; you have committed a cosmic sin,
- 00:23:00.302 --> 00:23:04.906
- And you're saying that your pleasure, or this moment in time
- 00:23:04.906 --> 00:23:08.977
- Goes against everything god has taught,
- 00:23:08.977 --> 00:23:12.214
- And everything god holds sacred.
- 00:23:12.214 --> 00:23:14.382
- Adultery is a cosmic sin.
- 00:23:14.382 --> 00:23:17.586
- It's no little peccadillo or a little casual kind
- 00:23:17.586 --> 00:23:20.956
- Of liaison-not at all!
- 00:23:20.956 --> 00:23:23.124
- It's a cosmic sin.
- 00:23:23.124 --> 00:23:26.928
- Number two: adultery is not the unpardonable sin.
- 00:23:26.928 --> 00:23:33.134
- Isn't that terrific?
- 00:23:33.134 --> 00:23:35.570
- We've got to clean up our mind
- 00:23:35.570 --> 00:23:37.105
- -there's that mental adultery.
- 00:23:37.105 --> 00:23:38.907
- Some have to clean up their whole bodies...
- 00:23:38.907 --> 00:23:41.076
- There is that physical adultery;
- 00:23:41.076 --> 00:23:42.911
- But god is in the cleansing business.
- 00:23:42.911 --> 00:23:45.547
- If we confess our sin, he is able and just to forgive our sin
- 00:23:45.547 --> 00:23:51.520
- And to cleanse us of all the trash,
- 00:23:51.520 --> 00:23:55.156
- Including adultery in our lives.
- 00:23:55.156 --> 00:23:57.692
- That's the grace of god.
- 00:23:57.692 --> 00:23:59.327
- Adultery is a cosmic sin, but it is not the unpardonable sin.
- 00:23:59.327 --> 00:24:06.568
- And the bible says about sexual sin-run!
- 00:24:06.568 --> 00:24:11.373
- Don't tarry; don't explain away; don't back off a little bit-run!
- 00:24:11.373 --> 00:24:16.511
- Get out of there!
- 00:24:16.511 --> 00:24:17.846
- Flee!
- 00:24:17.846 --> 00:24:20.081
- That's what joseph did.
- 00:24:20.081 --> 00:24:22.317
- That's what paul told timothy to do,
- 00:24:22.317 --> 00:24:24.553
- And that's what we have to do.
- 00:24:24.553 --> 00:24:27.088
- You don't cut back, cut down, wean myself off of whatever this
- 00:24:27.088 --> 00:24:31.026
- Is and whatever relationship is there,
- 00:24:31.026 --> 00:24:33.295
- Whether its mental or physical-cut and run!
- 00:24:33.295 --> 00:24:36.164
- Take no prisoners!
- 00:24:36.164 --> 00:24:37.499
- Get out of there!
- 00:24:37.499 --> 00:24:38.900
- And you'll be amazed, a day, or two, or three, and it's one day
- 00:24:38.900 --> 00:24:42.070
- At a time, god begins to set you free.
- 00:24:42.070 --> 00:24:45.540
- If, if we had hymnals here-the old hymn books, you can find a
- 00:24:45.540 --> 00:24:49.277
- Theme in hymn after hymn-he breaks the power of cancelled
- 00:24:49.277 --> 00:24:53.949
- Sin and sets the sinner free!
- 00:24:53.949 --> 00:24:57.552
- Freedom!
- 00:24:57.552 --> 00:24:58.887
- Freedom, forgiveness, his grace.
- 00:24:58.887 --> 00:25:02.290
- Dr. young: at some point, every marriage will
- 00:25:02.357 --> 00:25:04.492
- Run into tough times.
- 00:25:04.492 --> 00:25:06.227
- Whether it's miscommunication, money,
- 00:25:06.227 --> 00:25:08.196
- Sex, or in-laws, every marriage goes through a rocky patch.
- 00:25:08.196 --> 00:25:12.500
- Far too often, those rocky patches end up ruining
- 00:25:12.500 --> 00:25:15.737
- Otherwise great, potentially super marriages.
- 00:25:15.737 --> 00:25:19.441
- But it does not have to be that way.
- 00:25:19.441 --> 00:25:22.911
- God designed marriage, and he gave us the keys to have
- 00:25:22.911 --> 00:25:26.781
- A marriage that works, a marriage that sizzles.
- 00:25:26.781 --> 00:25:29.818
- In my book, "the 10 commandments of marriage," i lay out ten
- 00:25:29.818 --> 00:25:33.388
- Practical principles to make your marriage super.
- 00:25:33.388 --> 00:25:37.659
- I hope that you will get this resource today.
- 00:25:37.659 --> 00:25:42.564
- Female announcer: to get your copy,
- 00:25:42.564 --> 00:25:44.199
- Call the number on your screen, or go online at winningwalk.org.
- 00:25:44.199 --> 00:25:48.103
- It's our gift to you for your financial support
- 00:25:48.103 --> 00:25:50.639
- Of this ministry.
- 00:25:50.639 --> 00:25:52.407
- Marriage may not always be bliss,
- 00:25:52.407 --> 00:25:54.709
- But with god's help, it can be amazing.
- 00:25:54.709 --> 00:25:58.246
- Did you know the winning walk is seen literally all around the
- 00:26:00.548 --> 00:26:04.319
- World; on every continent - virtually in every nation?
- 00:26:04.319 --> 00:26:08.857
- And i am always encouraged to hear the reports of what god is
- 00:26:08.857 --> 00:26:12.761
- Doing through this program week by week by week.
- 00:26:12.761 --> 00:26:17.065
- I am especially excited to hear the reports of
- 00:26:17.065 --> 00:26:20.035
- Changed lives in the country of india.
- 00:26:20.035 --> 00:26:23.738
- Through our partnership with the good shepherd community church
- 00:26:23.738 --> 00:26:26.641
- In india, we get hundreds of calls each week with stories of
- 00:26:26.641 --> 00:26:30.545
- Changed lives, changed homes,
- 00:26:30.545 --> 00:26:32.947
- Changed families, changed communities.
- 00:26:32.947 --> 00:26:36.685
- We will never fully know the impact of what god is doing in
- 00:26:36.685 --> 00:26:39.888
- The lives of those who watch this broadcast.
- 00:26:39.888 --> 00:26:43.224
- Thank you for your support of this program.
- 00:26:43.224 --> 00:26:45.927
- It is your prayers and financial support that make this possible.
- 00:26:45.927 --> 00:26:51.266
- Also, today we want to pray for you
- 00:26:51.266 --> 00:26:54.903
- - call that number on your screen.
- 00:26:54.903 --> 00:26:57.405
- Godly men and women are standing by who want to talk with you and
- 00:26:57.405 --> 00:27:01.776
- Listen to you and most of all, pray for you.
- 00:27:01.776 --> 00:27:06.381
- And i personally want to thank you for watching today.
- 00:27:06.381 --> 00:27:09.617
- Join us again next week as we take another step on the
- 00:27:09.617 --> 00:27:14.189
- Winning walk with jesus christ!
- 00:27:14.189 --> 00:27:17.292
- ♪♪♪
- 00:27:17.292 --> 00:27:24.232
- Cc by aberdeen captioning 1-800-688-6621 www.aberdeen.io
- 00:27:24.232 --> 00:27:24.232