Ed Young - Adultery

May 13, 2025 | S25:E115

The Winning Walk with Dr. Ed Young is the international on-air and online teaching ministry of Dr. Ed Young. The Winning Walk proclaims the proven truth of God’s Word to give men and women the world over a winning way to live life.

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The Winning Walk with Dr. Ed Young | Ed Young - Adultery | May 13, 2025
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  • What's in a thought?
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  • Just a thought-psht?
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  • A lot more than most of us would imagine.
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  • When you have a thought, when i have a thought,
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  • You know what takes place?
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  • Immediately, there is triggered in your brain and in my brain an
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  • Electrochemical response that surges throughout our body, and
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  • Electrical magnetic waves goes through every part of your being
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  • And every part of my being because it's all linked up
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  • Together when we have a single thought.
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  • In fact, when you and i have a single thought,
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  • Over five hundred billion reactions take
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  • Place just that instant with one thought.
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  • Now we've identified only about two thousand
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  • Of those reactions; but that's how
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  • Magnificently we are constructed.
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  • And if we could hear these chemical waves, and these
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  • Electric waves as they go through our body with every
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  • Thought, i think you would hear a mighty symphony being played.
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  • A thought-a single thought.
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  • In other words, it's almost like your brain and my brain is a
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  • Kind of laboratory, and when we have a single thought in your
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  • Brain and in my brain; chemicals are given off and electrical
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  • Impulses are given off that affect everything about you,
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  • And everything about me just with a
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  • Pwhoo-single thought-single thought...
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  • I have a little book someone gave me entitled,
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  • Who switched off my brain?
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  • The author of this book says it's so important how our brain
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  • Functions and what we think about; this author says that
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  • 87% of all physical and mental illnesses stem and
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  • Originate with our thoughts-87%.
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  • And her thesis, the author of this book, she says there's only
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  • 13% of your illness and my illness, physically, mentally,
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  • Emotionally, psychologically, etc...
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  • Comes from our environment, from the food we eat,
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  • Or from our dna makeup.
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  • Now i would debate with that study.
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  • I think you could reverse it and say, "well, what do we eat?"
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  • And our environment and our dna affects our health, and
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  • Therefore, that affects our thought process,
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  • So i think it's like arguing the chicken and the egg.
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  • Which is more important?
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  • The body to wholeness and health,
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  • Or the mind to wholeness and health?
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  • And i don't think anybody knows.
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  • The returns are not in.
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  • The truth is, we know more about saturn relates to mars way out
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  • There in the ionosphere, than we know of how your brain
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  • And my brain relates to our bodies.
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  • We still don't know very much about that,
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  • But we do know they are tied together.
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  • We know they are united, mind and body, and we've discovered
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  • That in marriage, it is the whole body and the whole life of
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  • A person engaging with someone of the opposite sex in marriage,
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  • And it takes place with a whole life,
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  • And the whole body of the other person.
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  • You can't just have body to body;
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  • You have also have to have life to life.
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  • Life to life, body to body is marriage.
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  • Body to body is adultery outside of marriage.
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  • And by the way, unless someone gets too pious here,
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  • Need to understand that every one of us here have broken
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  • Every one of the commandments.
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  • Anybody want to debate that?
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  • That's what jesus said.
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  • He took it away just from the physical act and said in our
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  • Minds-in our minds, we break this commandment, and he says if
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  • We don't clean up our minds, we need to take radical action.
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  • It's pretty radical to punch out one eye, isn't it?
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  • To cut off one hand...
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  • He did not mean that literally.
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  • He was saying there are things we have to run from; we have to
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  • Cut out of our lives in order to be pure; in order to have
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  • Marriages that grow and sizzle, that are relevant
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  • And practical for this 21st century.
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  • And so we're talking about adultery.
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  • There is mental adultery; there is physical adultery, and the
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  • Physical adultery is deadlier.
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  • We can't really rank sin, though mental adultery is also deadly.
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  • But physical adultery plays back into your body and into my body
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  • When we commit physical adultery.
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  • That's what paul says, see?
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  • That's what paul says...
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  • It, it affects who you are inside more than any
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  • Other sin-sexual immorality does.
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  • To show you how serious it is, there was a group of women.
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  • When their kids got in school,
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  • They decided they would study french.
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  • And so eleven women got in a french class together, and they
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  • Were one day at a meal, and one of women, they got close and
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  • They would share their thoughts and share a little extra,
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  • Extracurricular activity with the other women, and they
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  • Were, and one woman said, "well, how many of us..."
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  • (eleven of them) "how many of you women have been faithful to
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  • Your marriage, faithful to your husband
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  • All the time you've been married?"
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  • And one hand went up out of eleven.
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  • Now a woman went home and told her husband-said we were eating
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  • Together, and, and named the woman who asked how many had
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  • Been faithful and said only one hand went up, and she said,
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  • "that wasn't my hand."
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  • And her husband said, wha, wha, what?
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  • You've been unfaithful?" she said, "oh no!
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  • I haven't been unfaithful, but i didn't raise my hand."
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  • And the husband said, "well, why didn't you raise your hand?"
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  • And she said, "i was ashamed."
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  • That's like being ashamed that when there's a flu epidemic,
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  • You don't have the flu!
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  • This is our world, and there's so
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  • Many kinds of deadly affairs.
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  • Look up there.
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  • I want you to see all the kinds of affairs.
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  • We put some names-this is not original
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  • With me-some names of, affairs.
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  • There's the friendship affair-self-explanatory.
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  • There's the office affair.
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  • There's be a good neighbor affair.
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  • There's a cup of coffee affair.
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  • There's the seize the moment affair.
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  • There's the people helper affair.
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  • There's the old acquaintance fair, affair.
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  • Stop right there for a minute.
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  • We have a counseling service in our church
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  • You may or may not know about.
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  • We have twelve psychotherapists, godly men in trai,
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  • Men and women-christians who, who work in counseling,
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  • And they tell me that there is an epidemic of
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  • Affairs that start with facebook.
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  • They start online.
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  • Someone runs down someone they went to college, they went to
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  • High school with; someone they used to know in their hometown.
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  • They begin to talk, and they, they exchange pictures with
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  • Them, and they may even show them to their mate;
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  • But said this has led to so much immorality,
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  • You wouldn't believe it.
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  • In fact, there, there's a lawyer's group that specialized
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  • In divorce, and they just came out with this statistic.
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  • Said, "81% of those who are trying to prove
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  • Infidelity in their marriage have used facebook and the
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  • Correspondence that took on there.
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  • Therefore, in our counseling, you know what
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  • We say to every married person?
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  • Get off facebook!
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  • Get out of all this junk because it leads you astray.
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  • It's happening over and over again in our culture.
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  • (audience applauds).
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  • Another kind of affair-that's the old acquaintance.
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  • The same interest affair.
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  • You know, we like the same things, we're so luck mo...
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  • Uh, the western affair.
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  • Let me stop and explain that one.
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  • The western affair is like, you know, the guy who puts
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  • A notch in his gun every time he kills somebody,
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  • The old westerns?
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  • Well there's some men who put notches in their belt
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  • Every time they sleep with a woman.
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  • Oh yeah, very prominent in our culture.
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  • Sure...
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  • And then the last one, the pornographic affair.
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  • Primarily men, some women.
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  • Did you know that's an epidemic in america?
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  • Listen carefully: the 7th largest business in
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  • The united states is pornography.
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  • And some believe it is the most
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  • Profitable business in america today.
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  • And it touches christians especially-all of us,
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  • But christians especially because it is pleasurable,
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  • And it is secret.
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  • And we have the idea that it doesn't hurt anybody, forgetting
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  • That pornography is an adulterous endeavor that rips
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  • Out your soul and will destroy the heart of your marriage,
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  • Your christian witness, and affect you and your family
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  • For years, and years, and years to come.
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  • It is highly addictive.
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  • What we hear, what we see, and it is a devastating,
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  • Devastating habit, and a deadly habit.
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  • We have hundreds of men, right now in our church in
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  • Support groups who are crying out for help,
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  • Saying it's taken the very life and vitality out of them.
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  • As young boys, it was masturbation, and now it moves
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  • Into pornography and another area, and it is deadly
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  • Gentlemen-don't think there's no harm, no foul.
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  • It affects the deepest part of your soul.
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  • Let's look at the three major causes.
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  • These are big categories.
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  • There, there are, there are hundreds of causes of adultery,
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  • But i, i put them under three big categories.
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  • I think you could put all the other
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  • Causes as subsets under this.
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  • Look at it on your screen.
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  • First of all, undeveloped emotion, undeveloped emotions.
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  • If you marry somebody who's still adolescent.
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  • If you marry somebody like that,
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  • That's a setup for adultery.
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  • By the way, these causes doesn't mean,
  • 00:11:11.694 --> 00:11:14.196
  • "well, i have a license for adultery..."
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  • Don't, don't make it, don't make that mistake.
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  • I'm not saying that by any...
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  • I am saying these are general causes,
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  • General realms for adultery.
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  • So, undeveloped emotions, adolescent.
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  • What's an adolescent?
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  • Best definition i've ever heard-adolescent is someone
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  • Who's split right in the middle.
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  • Someone on this side is an adult; on that side is a child.
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  • Teenagers, right?
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  • One minute a teenage girl will make a decision.
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  • You'll say, "i'm so proud of her!
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  • She's made a big-time, adult decision..."
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  • And the next hour, she'll make a decision.
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  • You say, "you know, she acts like she's 9 years old!"
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  • That's an adolescent.
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  • And a lot of us have married adolescents.
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  • A lot of people marry adolescents.
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  • They've still got these emotional holds.
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  • All of us are not totally mature-i understand that.
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  • But some people are really, really
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  • Immature in so many, many areas.
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  • For example, the area of being spoiled.
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  • If you married somebody else-their mom and dad, they
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  • Just-the wo, the sun would rise and set on that son and
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  • Daughter-"boy, i'm going to give them anything and everything,
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  • And i want to provide for them
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  • And have the things i didn't have..."
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  • And they're totally spoiled.
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  • If you married someone like that and they've had
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  • A token of success in life, that's a setup.
  • 00:12:33.742 --> 00:12:39.348
  • They're, they're a setup for somebody who says,
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  • "well, i deserve this.
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  • I work hard, and i am successful..."
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  • I'm thinking of, of a couple, and he, he slept with a lot
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  • Of kids when he was in high school, and he married
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  • This beautiful, wonderful girl, and they joined the church,
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  • And they had a couple of children.
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  • After about three years, he began to sleep around and go
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  • Here and go there at meetings, and he became an adulterer.
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  • And finally it was discovered, and, and they asked him why in
  • 00:13:10.479 --> 00:13:16.051
  • A counseling environment, and he said, you know,
  • 00:13:16.051 --> 00:13:19.521
  • "is it a problem with the kids?" "we got great kids..."
  • 00:13:19.521 --> 00:13:22.424
  • "problem with your wife?" "oh no, i love her!
  • 00:13:22.424 --> 00:13:24.326
  • We have wonderful, uh, love relationship together."
  • 00:13:24.326 --> 00:13:26.795
  • "is it a problem with your job?" "oh no!
  • 00:13:26.795 --> 00:13:29.698
  • I'm doing fine there..." "is it a problem..."?
  • 00:13:29.698 --> 00:13:31.600
  • "no, no...everything was great."
  • 00:13:31.600 --> 00:13:33.535
  • "well then why do you, why are you unfaithful?"
  • 00:13:33.535 --> 00:13:35.471
  • And he finally said, "well, i guess it's
  • 00:13:35.471 --> 00:13:37.439
  • That forbidden fruit thing..."
  • 00:13:37.439 --> 00:13:41.710
  • Know about the forbidden fruit thing?
  • 00:13:41.710 --> 00:13:43.512
  • Here's adam and eve in the garden of eden.
  • 00:13:43.512 --> 00:13:45.314
  • They had-god said, "you can eat of the fruit of the trees of all
  • 00:13:45.314 --> 00:13:48.217
  • These garden, all these trees-thousands of trees!
  • 00:13:48.217 --> 00:13:51.353
  • Man, isn't that enough for you, adam?
  • 00:13:51.353 --> 00:13:53.489
  • Except one-just one.
  • 00:13:53.489 --> 00:13:56.592
  • Out of all the trees on the planet in a pristine
  • 00:13:56.592 --> 00:14:00.629
  • Environment, only one tree you can't eat out of, adam!"
  • 00:14:00.629 --> 00:14:05.768
  • "oh!
  • 00:14:05.768 --> 00:14:07.102
  • Just that one?"
  • 00:14:07.102 --> 00:14:08.637
  • It's the forbidden fruit thing...
  • 00:14:08.637 --> 00:14:10.706
  • Remember "candid camera"? some of us remember that.
  • 00:14:10.706 --> 00:14:12.675
  • Remember, they, sometime they'd walk down the street, and one
  • 00:14:12.675 --> 00:14:15.110
  • They had a wall there, and they had a big hole there and says,
  • 00:14:15.110 --> 00:14:18.213
  • "don't look through this hole..."
  • 00:14:18.213 --> 00:14:19.915
  • (audience laughs).
  • 00:14:19.915 --> 00:14:21.250
  • And they took pictures of people who walked by it.
  • 00:14:21.250 --> 00:14:23.252
  • Well normally you wouldn't look through the hole,
  • 00:14:23.252 --> 00:14:25.187
  • But the don't-and they would look...
  • 00:14:25.187 --> 00:14:29.258
  • Uh, the other day in, in the hall of the church, they, they'd
  • 00:14:29.258 --> 00:14:32.761
  • Painted, and they'd put up a sign, "wet paint."
  • 00:14:32.761 --> 00:14:35.898
  • And i walked by in the morning-"wet paint"-and i came
  • 00:14:35.898 --> 00:14:38.267
  • Back by about an hour later and it was still up, and i said,
  • 00:14:38.267 --> 00:14:40.769
  • "you know, i wonder if that paint's dried?"
  • 00:14:40.769 --> 00:14:43.205
  • (audience laughs).
  • 00:14:43.205 --> 00:14:47.276
  • It hadn't dried!
  • 00:14:47.276 --> 00:14:49.812
  • There's something about prohibitions, isn't it?
  • 00:14:49.812 --> 00:14:53.382
  • That, that's like kids, teenagers, adolescents.
  • 00:14:53.382 --> 00:14:56.752
  • "don't you smoke!"
  • 00:14:56.752 --> 00:14:58.087
  • Well, you get a chance to smoke, and you know,
  • 00:14:58.087 --> 00:15:00.356
  • Well, you're gonna do it!
  • 00:15:00.356 --> 00:15:01.690
  • Paul tournier, the psychotherapist said that
  • 00:15:01.690 --> 00:15:04.360
  • Children begin to grow up when they begin to do things in
  • 00:15:04.360 --> 00:15:07.162
  • Secret, not necessarily bad thi...
  • 00:15:07.162 --> 00:15:08.564
  • Secret from their parents; when they begin to have things they
  • 00:15:08.564 --> 00:15:12.468
  • Don't tell their parents, like a little girl.
  • 00:15:12.468 --> 00:15:14.636
  • The parents said, "now when you go and walk across the street,
  • 00:15:14.636 --> 00:15:16.839
  • Make sure you walk on this side and not on that side..."
  • 00:15:16.839 --> 00:15:19.675
  • But her friend took her and she walked on the street on that
  • 00:15:19.675 --> 00:15:22.011
  • Side, and she didn't tell her parents.
  • 00:15:22.011 --> 00:15:24.079
  • See, that's a part of growing up.
  • 00:15:24.079 --> 00:15:25.914
  • That's childishness, and a lot of people
  • 00:15:25.914 --> 00:15:28.083
  • In marriages are still adolescents.
  • 00:15:28.083 --> 00:15:31.153
  • "oh, i, i can't do that!
  • 00:15:31.153 --> 00:15:32.488
  • That's wrong!"
  • 00:15:32.488 --> 00:15:33.822
  • Oh, it has unusual appeal as they begin to play that
  • 00:15:33.822 --> 00:15:37.793
  • Pornograph in your mind, and you play it out in reality and have
  • 00:15:37.793 --> 00:15:41.897
  • Some rationalization-"well, my marriage isn't all that
  • 00:15:41.897 --> 00:15:44.800
  • I thought it was gonna be!"
  • 00:15:44.800 --> 00:15:46.602
  • You married a kid, an adolescent.
  • 00:15:46.602 --> 00:15:51.006
  • Look at the next one.
  • 00:15:51.006 --> 00:15:53.242
  • Unresolved conflict.
  • 00:15:53.242 --> 00:15:56.345
  • You know, in a lot of families, the way conflict is handled,
  • 00:15:56.345 --> 00:15:58.080
  • Usually the male-they just, "i'm not going to argue.
  • 00:15:58.080 --> 00:16:00.249
  • I'm through..."
  • 00:16:00.249 --> 00:16:01.583
  • Then we just go into our cocoon; we go into our shell.
  • 00:16:01.583 --> 00:16:03.519
  • We're not gonna argue.
  • 00:16:03.519 --> 00:16:04.853
  • "just go ahead-you have your problem.
  • 00:16:04.853 --> 00:16:06.655
  • I'm not gonna get with it..."
  • 00:16:06.655 --> 00:16:07.990
  • And a lot of marriages, when there's unresolved conflict, you
  • 00:16:07.990 --> 00:16:11.994
  • Know, they, they, they're in the ring together, and they're
  • 00:16:11.994 --> 00:16:13.929
  • Boxing, and finally the husband goes in his corner, and the wife
  • 00:16:13.929 --> 00:16:18.700
  • Goes in her corner, and they stay in their corner.
  • 00:16:18.700 --> 00:16:22.104
  • You live your life; i live my life, and they never do really
  • 00:16:22.104 --> 00:16:26.809
  • Relate until they come in the middle of the ring,
  • 00:16:26.809 --> 00:16:28.744
  • Exchange a few blows now and then.
  • 00:16:28.744 --> 00:16:30.712
  • Then they go back in their corner...
  • 00:16:30.712 --> 00:16:34.216
  • Am i speaking to anybody?
  • 00:16:34.216 --> 00:16:38.120
  • What should happen?
  • 00:16:38.120 --> 00:16:40.823
  • Ii corinthians 5:18 says, "we are reconciled with god."
  • 00:16:40.823 --> 00:16:45.794
  • Jesus christ gets you and me right with god.
  • 00:16:45.794 --> 00:16:48.964
  • Isn't that terrific?
  • 00:16:48.964 --> 00:16:50.299
  • And therefore, because we get right with god, then we are to
  • 00:16:50.299 --> 00:16:53.669
  • Be in the business of reconciliation.
  • 00:16:53.669 --> 00:16:56.305
  • What needs to happen to this man or woman in the corner-they need
  • 00:16:56.305 --> 00:16:59.575
  • To say, "o' god, revive my marriage, my heart."
  • 00:16:59.575 --> 00:17:03.278
  • And they need to see where there involvement in silence, or
  • 00:17:03.278 --> 00:17:06.148
  • Whatever the situation and get right with god on their knees,
  • 00:17:06.148 --> 00:17:09.785
  • And then get up and go and walk in the middle of the ring
  • 00:17:09.785 --> 00:17:13.188
  • -if necessary, walk on the other side of the ring and
  • 00:17:13.188 --> 00:17:16.325
  • Try to find mutual reconciliation.
  • 00:17:16.325 --> 00:17:19.995
  • There'll be conflicts.
  • 00:17:19.995 --> 00:17:21.330
  • We've got to know how to resolve those conflicts in marriage, and
  • 00:17:21.330 --> 00:17:25.701
  • The way to do it is not to bury it
  • 00:17:25.701 --> 00:17:27.636
  • And cover it up and push it down.
  • 00:17:27.636 --> 00:17:31.640
  • This is what happens.
  • 00:17:31.640 --> 00:17:33.509
  • And a way to handle some of these confli...
  • 00:17:33.509 --> 00:17:35.978
  • What are the conflicts over?
  • 00:17:35.978 --> 00:17:37.312
  • Children, money, sex, schedule -i mean,
  • 00:17:37.312 --> 00:17:44.520
  • A lot of things, a lot of things conflict.
  • 00:17:44.520 --> 00:17:48.891
  • And how do we avoid some of that?
  • 00:17:48.891 --> 00:17:51.026
  • Ephesians 4-"don't let the sun go down on your wrath."
  • 00:17:51.026 --> 00:17:56.932
  • Man, don't, don't go to sleep until you begin to talk, begin
  • 00:17:56.932 --> 00:18:01.537
  • To get your hearts and lives together.
  • 00:18:01.537 --> 00:18:03.472
  • Now you have to stay up late a lot of nights.
  • 00:18:03.472 --> 00:18:06.275
  • Jo beth and i have.
  • 00:18:06.275 --> 00:18:08.343
  • Don't go to sleep.
  • 00:18:08.343 --> 00:18:09.678
  • Don't let the sun go down on your wrath.
  • 00:18:09.678 --> 00:18:11.380
  • When you let the sun,
  • 00:18:11.380 --> 00:18:12.714
  • Your heart is bruised over a conflict.
  • 00:18:12.714 --> 00:18:15.918
  • One mate is bruised.
  • 00:18:15.918 --> 00:18:17.252
  • You sleep on it.
  • 00:18:17.252 --> 00:18:18.587
  • The next morning, that bruised heart becomes a cold heart.
  • 00:18:18.587 --> 00:18:23.392
  • You know how that is -you're nice, but,
  • 00:18:23.392 --> 00:18:25.627
  • You're just too nice, you know...
  • 00:18:25.627 --> 00:18:29.431
  • Cold.
  • 00:18:29.431 --> 00:18:30.766
  • Don't look so pious!
  • 00:18:30.766 --> 00:18:32.100
  • You know exactly what i'm talking about,
  • 00:18:32.100 --> 00:18:34.570
  • Every married person here...
  • 00:18:34.570 --> 00:18:36.138
  • It, in a bruised heart, you spend the night with that;
  • 00:18:36.138 --> 00:18:38.373
  • It becomes a cold heart.
  • 00:18:38.373 --> 00:18:39.708
  • You stay with it a week or so, it becomes a hard heart.
  • 00:18:39.708 --> 00:18:43.345
  • Now you've intensified the problem.
  • 00:18:43.345 --> 00:18:45.814
  • You stay longer than that, it becomes an apathetic heart.
  • 00:18:45.814 --> 00:18:49.084
  • By the way, when a couple comes and they're fighting and
  • 00:18:49.084 --> 00:18:51.186
  • Arguing, that's an encouragement.
  • 00:18:51.186 --> 00:18:53.088
  • It's when they come and they, they're apathetic.
  • 00:18:53.088 --> 00:18:55.023
  • They'll say, "you know, i don't really care-psht!
  • 00:18:55.023 --> 00:18:56.758
  • Hah-i'm just-psht!
  • 00:18:56.758 --> 00:18:58.093
  • I, i don't have-it doesn't matter, whatever she does,
  • 00:18:58.093 --> 00:19:00.896
  • Whatever he does-makes no difference..."
  • 00:19:00.896 --> 00:19:03.365
  • You see, that's when the holy spirit really has to do a work.
  • 00:19:03.365 --> 00:19:06.368
  • So a lot of unresolved conflict, when someone can be with someone
  • 00:19:08.237 --> 00:19:11.974
  • Else and, and, and there's not conflict, no matter what the
  • 00:19:11.974 --> 00:19:16.245
  • Situation, and there can be intimacy there.
  • 00:19:16.245 --> 00:19:18.413
  • There can be sharing there.
  • 00:19:18.413 --> 00:19:19.948
  • All of a sudden they end up in bed.
  • 00:19:19.948 --> 00:19:21.883
  • It's because they go home and
  • 00:19:21.883 --> 00:19:23.919
  • There's so much conflict there...
  • 00:19:23.919 --> 00:19:27.689
  • You gotta deal with it. bring it out in the open.
  • 00:19:27.689 --> 00:19:29.424
  • Turn the lights on!
  • 00:19:29.424 --> 00:19:32.294
  • Third thing: unmet needs.
  • 00:19:32.294 --> 00:19:35.330
  • Everybody has needs.
  • 00:19:35.330 --> 00:19:40.502
  • The difference between the creator
  • 00:19:38.100 --> 00:19:42.571
  • And the creature is needs.
  • 00:19:42.571 --> 00:19:44.506
  • The creator, god the father, god the son,
  • 00:19:44.506 --> 00:19:46.675
  • God the holy spirit-they are a self-contained entity,
  • 00:19:46.675 --> 00:19:51.847
  • The god is.
  • 00:19:51.847 --> 00:19:53.415
  • The god head is self-contained.
  • 00:19:53.415 --> 00:19:55.117
  • There is all there to give the fullness.
  • 00:19:55.117 --> 00:19:57.886
  • God doesn't need anything.
  • 00:19:57.886 --> 00:20:00.489
  • God is a self-contingent being.
  • 00:20:00.489 --> 00:20:05.027
  • We are contingent beings as human beings.
  • 00:20:05.027 --> 00:20:07.729
  • Though we're made in the image of god, we all have needs.
  • 00:20:07.729 --> 00:20:10.599
  • A new-born babe has more needs than any
  • 00:20:10.599 --> 00:20:13.568
  • Other animal, remember, on this earth?
  • 00:20:13.568 --> 00:20:15.771
  • A baby needs a longer time of care than any other animal, and
  • 00:20:15.771 --> 00:20:18.740
  • When that child is growing, the little girl says,
  • 00:20:18.740 --> 00:20:21.343
  • "did i do good, mom"?
  • 00:20:21.343 --> 00:20:22.678
  • "you did good, sarah!"
  • 00:20:22.678 --> 00:20:24.980
  • "dad, would, would i-i'm sorry..."
  • 00:20:24.980 --> 00:20:27.416
  • "oh, it's all right, billy."
  • 00:20:27.416 --> 00:20:28.984
  • They need support, and they have needs
  • 00:20:28.984 --> 00:20:30.852
  • -all kinds of physical, emotional needs.
  • 00:20:30.852 --> 00:20:33.221
  • We have to be there to hug, and to help, and to counsel,
  • 00:20:33.221 --> 00:20:35.457
  • And to laugh, and to tease, and to discipline.
  • 00:20:35.457 --> 00:20:37.292
  • All those needs...
  • 00:20:37.292 --> 00:20:38.627
  • When we grow up, do we have needs no longer?
  • 00:20:38.627 --> 00:20:40.929
  • Certainly we have needs.
  • 00:20:40.929 --> 00:20:44.599
  • Certainly we have needs, and we need appreciation.
  • 00:20:44.599 --> 00:20:49.871
  • Wives, i want you to listen to me: you need appreciation,
  • 00:20:49.871 --> 00:20:54.543
  • But your husband, men need about five times
  • 00:20:54.543 --> 00:20:57.713
  • More appreciation than women.
  • 00:20:57.713 --> 00:20:59.047
  • I don't know why -we're just a weaker sex.
  • 00:20:59.047 --> 00:21:02.818
  • We are!
  • 00:21:02.818 --> 00:21:04.453
  • Gentlemen, we need more appreciation than the women-not
  • 00:21:04.453 --> 00:21:07.122
  • That we shouldn't appreciate and admire women.
  • 00:21:07.122 --> 00:21:09.157
  • Certainly that's a part of meeting their need; but men
  • 00:21:09.157 --> 00:21:11.293
  • Really need it, and when they come and feel like it's only
  • 00:21:11.293 --> 00:21:14.529
  • Man, what i can get out of you, what i want you to do,
  • 00:21:14.529 --> 00:21:16.598
  • How you want...
  • 00:21:16.598 --> 00:21:17.933
  • Also, in your wife or your husband,
  • 00:21:17.933 --> 00:21:20.502
  • Accept them the way they are.
  • 00:21:20.502 --> 00:21:23.572
  • I thought for years i married the only woman in
  • 00:21:23.572 --> 00:21:25.741
  • The world that couldn't be trained.
  • 00:21:25.741 --> 00:21:31.446
  • We've got to quit trying to train them-man and women,
  • 00:21:31.446 --> 00:21:33.882
  • Men and women.
  • 00:21:33.882 --> 00:21:35.217
  • Accept them!
  • 00:21:35.217 --> 00:21:36.752
  • And that leads people into affairs because the mate is not
  • 00:21:36.752 --> 00:21:39.755
  • Accepting them, warts and all, and know that
  • 00:21:39.755 --> 00:21:42.791
  • God will continue to do a work with them.
  • 00:21:42.791 --> 00:21:45.160
  • God's not finished with them;
  • 00:21:45.160 --> 00:21:46.695
  • He's not finished with you or me.
  • 00:21:46.695 --> 00:21:48.830
  • There has to be acceptance, and there has to be affection,
  • 00:21:48.830 --> 00:21:52.367
  • Genuine affection with one another.
  • 00:21:52.367 --> 00:21:55.036
  • So, so this is the unmet needs that are there, and when these
  • 00:21:55.036 --> 00:22:00.475
  • Needs are not met, it sets anybody up for somebody else to
  • 00:22:00.475 --> 00:22:04.713
  • Come in and to destroy, and to undercurt,
  • 00:22:04.713 --> 00:22:08.350
  • Undercut that relationship.
  • 00:22:08.350 --> 00:22:11.920
  • I want to say two things.
  • 00:22:11.920 --> 00:22:15.190
  • I want to say these two things as dogmatically, as simply,
  • 00:22:15.190 --> 00:22:21.530
  • But as powerfully as i can state them-two things.
  • 00:22:21.530 --> 00:22:27.035
  • Write it in steel in your heart and your mind.
  • 00:22:27.035 --> 00:22:32.174
  • I'm not going to stumble.
  • 00:22:32.174 --> 00:22:35.377
  • I want to say simply two things to everybody here: number one,
  • 00:22:35.377 --> 00:22:44.219
  • Adultery is a cosmic sin,
  • 00:22:44.219 --> 00:22:51.493
  • Because someone who destroys
  • 00:22:51.493 --> 00:22:54.796
  • The trust in a marriage and the commitment of a marriage one
  • 00:22:54.796 --> 00:23:00.302
  • Time, ten times, or whatever; you have committed a cosmic sin,
  • 00:23:00.302 --> 00:23:04.906
  • And you're saying that your pleasure, or this moment in time
  • 00:23:04.906 --> 00:23:08.977
  • Goes against everything god has taught,
  • 00:23:08.977 --> 00:23:12.214
  • And everything god holds sacred.
  • 00:23:12.214 --> 00:23:14.382
  • Adultery is a cosmic sin.
  • 00:23:14.382 --> 00:23:17.586
  • It's no little peccadillo or a little casual kind
  • 00:23:17.586 --> 00:23:20.956
  • Of liaison-not at all!
  • 00:23:20.956 --> 00:23:23.124
  • It's a cosmic sin.
  • 00:23:23.124 --> 00:23:26.928
  • Number two: adultery is not the unpardonable sin.
  • 00:23:26.928 --> 00:23:33.134
  • Isn't that terrific?
  • 00:23:33.134 --> 00:23:35.570
  • We've got to clean up our mind
  • 00:23:35.570 --> 00:23:37.105
  • -there's that mental adultery.
  • 00:23:37.105 --> 00:23:38.907
  • Some have to clean up their whole bodies...
  • 00:23:38.907 --> 00:23:41.076
  • There is that physical adultery;
  • 00:23:41.076 --> 00:23:42.911
  • But god is in the cleansing business.
  • 00:23:42.911 --> 00:23:45.547
  • If we confess our sin, he is able and just to forgive our sin
  • 00:23:45.547 --> 00:23:51.520
  • And to cleanse us of all the trash,
  • 00:23:51.520 --> 00:23:55.156
  • Including adultery in our lives.
  • 00:23:55.156 --> 00:23:57.692
  • That's the grace of god.
  • 00:23:57.692 --> 00:23:59.327
  • Adultery is a cosmic sin, but it is not the unpardonable sin.
  • 00:23:59.327 --> 00:24:06.568
  • And the bible says about sexual sin-run!
  • 00:24:06.568 --> 00:24:11.373
  • Don't tarry; don't explain away; don't back off a little bit-run!
  • 00:24:11.373 --> 00:24:16.511
  • Get out of there!
  • 00:24:16.511 --> 00:24:17.846
  • Flee!
  • 00:24:17.846 --> 00:24:20.081
  • That's what joseph did.
  • 00:24:20.081 --> 00:24:22.317
  • That's what paul told timothy to do,
  • 00:24:22.317 --> 00:24:24.553
  • And that's what we have to do.
  • 00:24:24.553 --> 00:24:27.088
  • You don't cut back, cut down, wean myself off of whatever this
  • 00:24:27.088 --> 00:24:31.026
  • Is and whatever relationship is there,
  • 00:24:31.026 --> 00:24:33.295
  • Whether its mental or physical-cut and run!
  • 00:24:33.295 --> 00:24:36.164
  • Take no prisoners!
  • 00:24:36.164 --> 00:24:37.499
  • Get out of there!
  • 00:24:37.499 --> 00:24:38.900
  • And you'll be amazed, a day, or two, or three, and it's one day
  • 00:24:38.900 --> 00:24:42.070
  • At a time, god begins to set you free.
  • 00:24:42.070 --> 00:24:45.540
  • If, if we had hymnals here-the old hymn books, you can find a
  • 00:24:45.540 --> 00:24:49.277
  • Theme in hymn after hymn-he breaks the power of cancelled
  • 00:24:49.277 --> 00:24:53.949
  • Sin and sets the sinner free!
  • 00:24:53.949 --> 00:24:57.552
  • Freedom!
  • 00:24:57.552 --> 00:24:58.887
  • Freedom, forgiveness, his grace.
  • 00:24:58.887 --> 00:25:02.290
  • Dr. young: at some point, every marriage will
  • 00:25:02.357 --> 00:25:04.492
  • Run into tough times.
  • 00:25:04.492 --> 00:25:06.227
  • Whether it's miscommunication, money,
  • 00:25:06.227 --> 00:25:08.196
  • Sex, or in-laws, every marriage goes through a rocky patch.
  • 00:25:08.196 --> 00:25:12.500
  • Far too often, those rocky patches end up ruining
  • 00:25:12.500 --> 00:25:15.737
  • Otherwise great, potentially super marriages.
  • 00:25:15.737 --> 00:25:19.441
  • But it does not have to be that way.
  • 00:25:19.441 --> 00:25:22.911
  • God designed marriage, and he gave us the keys to have
  • 00:25:22.911 --> 00:25:26.781
  • A marriage that works, a marriage that sizzles.
  • 00:25:26.781 --> 00:25:29.818
  • In my book, "the 10 commandments of marriage," i lay out ten
  • 00:25:29.818 --> 00:25:33.388
  • Practical principles to make your marriage super.
  • 00:25:33.388 --> 00:25:37.659
  • I hope that you will get this resource today.
  • 00:25:37.659 --> 00:25:42.564
  • Female announcer: to get your copy,
  • 00:25:42.564 --> 00:25:44.199
  • Call the number on your screen, or go online at winningwalk.org.
  • 00:25:44.199 --> 00:25:48.103
  • It's our gift to you for your financial support
  • 00:25:48.103 --> 00:25:50.639
  • Of this ministry.
  • 00:25:50.639 --> 00:25:52.407
  • Marriage may not always be bliss,
  • 00:25:52.407 --> 00:25:54.709
  • But with god's help, it can be amazing.
  • 00:25:54.709 --> 00:25:58.246
  • Did you know the winning walk is seen literally all around the
  • 00:26:00.548 --> 00:26:04.319
  • World; on every continent - virtually in every nation?
  • 00:26:04.319 --> 00:26:08.857
  • And i am always encouraged to hear the reports of what god is
  • 00:26:08.857 --> 00:26:12.761
  • Doing through this program week by week by week.
  • 00:26:12.761 --> 00:26:17.065
  • I am especially excited to hear the reports of
  • 00:26:17.065 --> 00:26:20.035
  • Changed lives in the country of india.
  • 00:26:20.035 --> 00:26:23.738
  • Through our partnership with the good shepherd community church
  • 00:26:23.738 --> 00:26:26.641
  • In india, we get hundreds of calls each week with stories of
  • 00:26:26.641 --> 00:26:30.545
  • Changed lives, changed homes,
  • 00:26:30.545 --> 00:26:32.947
  • Changed families, changed communities.
  • 00:26:32.947 --> 00:26:36.685
  • We will never fully know the impact of what god is doing in
  • 00:26:36.685 --> 00:26:39.888
  • The lives of those who watch this broadcast.
  • 00:26:39.888 --> 00:26:43.224
  • Thank you for your support of this program.
  • 00:26:43.224 --> 00:26:45.927
  • It is your prayers and financial support that make this possible.
  • 00:26:45.927 --> 00:26:51.266
  • Also, today we want to pray for you
  • 00:26:51.266 --> 00:26:54.903
  • - call that number on your screen.
  • 00:26:54.903 --> 00:26:57.405
  • Godly men and women are standing by who want to talk with you and
  • 00:26:57.405 --> 00:27:01.776
  • Listen to you and most of all, pray for you.
  • 00:27:01.776 --> 00:27:06.381
  • And i personally want to thank you for watching today.
  • 00:27:06.381 --> 00:27:09.617
  • Join us again next week as we take another step on the
  • 00:27:09.617 --> 00:27:14.189
  • Winning walk with jesus christ!
  • 00:27:14.189 --> 00:27:17.292
  • ♪♪♪
  • 00:27:17.292 --> 00:27:24.232
  • Cc by aberdeen captioning 1-800-688-6621 www.aberdeen.io
  • 00:27:24.232 --> 00:27:24.232