The Winning Walk with Dr. Ed Young is the international on-air and online teaching ministry of Dr. Ed Young. The Winning Walk proclaims the proven truth of God’s Word to give men and women the world over a winning way to live life.
#Relationships
#Marriage
#Dedication/Devotion
#RelationshipwithGod
#Bible
#Religion
#inActive
#Commitment
#EdYoung
#MarriageSupperoftheLamb
#Unity
#Husband
#Wife
#Intimacy
#BrideofChrist
#TheWinningWalkwithDr.EdYoung
Closed captions
Show Timecode
The Winning Walk with Dr. Ed Young | Ed Young - A Biblical View of Marriage | May 6, 2025
- ...
- 00:00:00.633 --> 00:00:00.356
- ♪♪♪
- 00:00:00.824 --> 00:00:09.666
- ♪♪♪
- 00:00:09.799 --> 00:00:15.605
- ♪♪♪
- 00:00:15.738 --> 00:00:18.942
- Ed young: marriage.
- 00:00:20.810 --> 00:00:25.748
- Marriage.
- 00:00:25.748 --> 00:00:28.785
- From the beginning of the bible in genesis, the first real
- 00:00:29.986 --> 00:00:34.724
- Miracle that took place was when god gave us marriage.
- 00:00:34.724 --> 00:00:43.900
- The vows are there.
- 00:00:43.900 --> 00:00:45.502
- Leave, cleave, naked, one flesh, no shame.
- 00:00:45.502 --> 00:00:49.906
- So the bible begins with marriage.
- 00:00:49.906 --> 00:00:54.844
- The bible ends in revelation with marriage.
- 00:00:54.844 --> 00:01:00.216
- We graduate and go to heaven to be with the lord.
- 00:01:00.216 --> 00:01:03.720
- There's the marriage feast of the lamb, a banquet that takes
- 00:01:03.720 --> 00:01:08.391
- Place because the church, you and i, all of us, are the bride
- 00:01:08.391 --> 00:01:12.962
- Of christ and he is the bridegroom.
- 00:01:12.962 --> 00:01:15.832
- And therefore, there will be a marriage celebration when we
- 00:01:15.832 --> 00:01:20.503
- Graduate and go to be with the lord.
- 00:01:20.503 --> 00:01:22.772
- So the bible has a parentheses of marriage on both sides of it.
- 00:01:22.772 --> 00:01:29.212
- And right in the middle, jesus performed the first
- 00:01:29.212 --> 00:01:33.016
- Miracle, when?
- 00:01:33.016 --> 00:01:35.552
- Marriage feasts, cana of galilee.
- 00:01:35.552 --> 00:01:39.189
- And all the way through the scripture, we have marriage used
- 00:01:39.189 --> 00:01:43.293
- As the best metaphor of what it is to know god through jesus
- 00:01:43.293 --> 00:01:48.698
- Christ in this relationship we have vertically.
- 00:01:48.698 --> 00:01:52.802
- This is the best illustration we have for what happens
- 00:01:52.802 --> 00:01:56.806
- Horizontally is marriage.
- 00:01:56.806 --> 00:02:01.311
- Marriage is the most important, and vital, and significant
- 00:02:01.311 --> 00:02:07.250
- Human relationship.
- 00:02:07.250 --> 00:02:09.485
- Period, no debate, bottom line.
- 00:02:09.485 --> 00:02:13.289
- Marriage.
- 00:02:13.289 --> 00:02:14.857
- You say, "well, what about singles?"
- 00:02:14.857 --> 00:02:17.627
- Singles need to understand the beauty and the miracle
- 00:02:17.627 --> 00:02:21.197
- Of marriage.
- 00:02:21.197 --> 00:02:23.032
- If you're widowed, if you're divorced, if you've never
- 00:02:23.032 --> 00:02:26.736
- Married, how important it is when this is the figure
- 00:02:26.736 --> 00:02:31.841
- That is used to help us understand the relationship
- 00:02:31.841 --> 00:02:35.245
- We have with god,
- 00:02:35.245 --> 00:02:36.579
- The best physical understanding is marriage.
- 00:02:36.579 --> 00:02:39.949
- It is a sacred, holy gift.
- 00:02:39.949 --> 00:02:45.188
- Now, let me confess something.
- 00:02:45.188 --> 00:02:48.992
- When i first uttered those marriage vows,
- 00:02:48.992 --> 00:02:54.464
- I'll tell you something.
- 00:02:54.464 --> 00:02:55.798
- I didn't really follow through.
- 00:02:55.798 --> 00:02:58.301
- I didn't really comprehend.
- 00:02:58.301 --> 00:03:00.470
- I didn't know the depth of those vows.
- 00:03:00.470 --> 00:03:03.706
- Somehow i had forgotten or did not know that a vow is different
- 00:03:03.706 --> 00:03:09.045
- From a promise.
- 00:03:09.045 --> 00:03:12.181
- A vow is something we make to god, not in any other reference.
- 00:03:12.181 --> 00:03:17.787
- A vow is to god and a promise, or a contract, or a resolution
- 00:03:17.787 --> 00:03:24.327
- Is different than a vow.
- 00:03:24.327 --> 00:03:27.096
- And therefore, when you and i, if you've ever been married or
- 00:03:27.096 --> 00:03:30.466
- You are married, when you uttered those vows, they were to
- 00:03:30.466 --> 00:03:34.971
- God as well as to your wife or your husband.
- 00:03:34.971 --> 00:03:39.008
- Whoa.
- 00:03:39.008 --> 00:03:40.743
- Now, when i got married, i knew i was legally married.
- 00:03:40.743 --> 00:03:43.713
- I entered into a contract of the state.
- 00:03:43.713 --> 00:03:48.284
- But i had no idea that that emotion that i felt of love and
- 00:03:48.284 --> 00:03:55.258
- That chemistry that i felt which i could not separate from
- 00:03:55.258 --> 00:03:58.528
- That emotion.
- 00:03:58.528 --> 00:03:59.862
- Do you understand what i'm saying?
- 00:03:59.862 --> 00:04:01.197
- Did you listen?
- 00:04:01.197 --> 00:04:02.532
- Yeah?
- 00:04:02.532 --> 00:04:04.067
- But a vow, a vow.
- 00:04:04.067 --> 00:04:07.937
- And then as i studied these vows with the new depth of
- 00:04:07.937 --> 00:04:10.973
- Understanding that i prayed god would give to you and me, i
- 00:04:10.973 --> 00:04:14.911
- Said, "where did they come from?"
- 00:04:14.911 --> 00:04:16.245
- They began in the garden.
- 00:04:16.245 --> 00:04:17.580
- They've evolved through time.
- 00:04:17.580 --> 00:04:20.249
- And finally, the archbishop of canterbury had put down those
- 00:04:20.249 --> 00:04:23.953
- Classical vows you found in the common book of prayer, and
- 00:04:23.953 --> 00:04:27.757
- They've evolved.
- 00:04:27.757 --> 00:04:29.092
- And some people get married, they write their own vows, but
- 00:04:29.092 --> 00:04:31.160
- There are a basic overlook of vows.
- 00:04:31.160 --> 00:04:36.199
- Now, also to my surprise, as i studied these vows with new
- 00:04:36.199 --> 00:04:42.605
- Eyes, i realized that of all people, elvis presley, elvis
- 00:04:42.605 --> 00:04:51.481
- Presley in the song that was the theme of his life, really,
- 00:04:51.481 --> 00:04:59.789
- Encompassed these vows that are expressed biblically and have
- 00:04:59.789 --> 00:05:04.327
- Been retreated by people through the years.
- 00:05:04.327 --> 00:05:06.696
- And i would never have dreamed of this.
- 00:05:06.696 --> 00:05:10.333
- You remember "t.l.c."
- 00:05:10.333 --> 00:05:12.068
- Was what elvis gave out?
- 00:05:12.068 --> 00:05:13.403
- He gave out rings, and bracelets, and had on one of his
- 00:05:13.403 --> 00:05:16.806
- Many outfits that he wore of "t.l.c.", tender loving care.
- 00:05:16.806 --> 00:05:21.878
- But in the classic song that he sang over and over again,
- 00:05:21.878 --> 00:05:27.850
- Believe it or not, it encompasses the biblical view of
- 00:05:27.850 --> 00:05:32.655
- Marriage and the vows that are taken in marriage.
- 00:05:32.655 --> 00:05:37.693
- ♪ love me tender.
- 00:05:37.693 --> 00:05:40.363
- ♪ love me true.
- 00:05:40.363 --> 00:05:42.932
- ♪ never let me go.
- 00:05:42.932 --> 00:05:45.868
- ♪ you have made my life complete and i love you so. ♪
- 00:05:45.868 --> 00:05:53.042
- ♪ love me tender. ♪
- 00:05:53.042 --> 00:05:56.646
- You see, it's all there.
- 00:05:56.646 --> 00:05:58.481
- For example, you take the word "tender" and it can easily be
- 00:05:58.481 --> 00:06:02.185
- The word "cherish."
- 00:06:02.185 --> 00:06:03.586
- Ooh, big word.
- 00:06:03.586 --> 00:06:05.521
- And love is there and truth is there.
- 00:06:05.521 --> 00:06:09.959
- So when you think about the biblical context in which our
- 00:06:09.959 --> 00:06:14.831
- Vows are built, it's all there in a secular song.
- 00:06:14.831 --> 00:06:19.368
- So the secular world comes down and defines it, the biblical
- 00:06:19.368 --> 00:06:22.839
- World defines it, and we repeat those vows when we get married.
- 00:06:22.839 --> 00:06:29.378
- So we're going to see that when we get married, first of all,
- 00:06:29.445 --> 00:06:33.182
- There is a vow to truth, and then we'll see there is a vow to
- 00:06:33.182 --> 00:06:42.191
- Love, and there is a vow to cherish.
- 00:06:42.191 --> 00:06:46.529
- Remember now, to have means to possess.
- 00:06:46.529 --> 00:06:50.867
- To hold means to endure.
- 00:06:50.867 --> 00:06:54.170
- So what happens when we get married, we are actually
- 00:06:54.170 --> 00:06:58.074
- Fulfilling what the apostle paul in 1 corinthians 7:4, which he
- 00:06:58.074 --> 00:07:03.946
- Says, "hey wives, you don't own yourselves.
- 00:07:03.946 --> 00:07:07.083
- You don't own your body.
- 00:07:07.083 --> 00:07:08.784
- Husbands, guess what?
- 00:07:08.784 --> 00:07:10.119
- You don't own your body.
- 00:07:10.119 --> 00:07:11.954
- When you get married, the other person owns you."
- 00:07:11.954 --> 00:07:15.558
- Whoa, that's a big thing.
- 00:07:15.558 --> 00:07:18.194
- There has to be a lot of trust there, doesn't it?
- 00:07:18.194 --> 00:07:20.263
- A lot of trust.
- 00:07:20.263 --> 00:07:23.366
- And then he says, "to have and to hold."
- 00:07:23.366 --> 00:07:28.838
- "have" means to totally own, to totally possess.
- 00:07:28.838 --> 00:07:32.875
- You say, "now, wait a minute."
- 00:07:32.875 --> 00:07:34.210
- Yep, that's it.
- 00:07:34.210 --> 00:07:35.678
- And to hold?
- 00:07:35.678 --> 00:07:37.013
- You can hold someone up.
- 00:07:37.013 --> 00:07:38.981
- You can hold and push them down.
- 00:07:38.981 --> 00:07:41.083
- You can lead them out.
- 00:07:41.083 --> 00:07:42.418
- You can pull them back.
- 00:07:42.418 --> 00:07:43.819
- And that is all in the hands of the wife and the hands of
- 00:07:43.819 --> 00:07:46.589
- The husband.
- 00:07:46.589 --> 00:07:50.192
- Well, i don't know--oh yes, this is biblical marriage,
- 00:07:50.192 --> 00:07:54.864
- Ladies and gentlemen.
- 00:07:54.864 --> 00:07:57.033
- To have and to hold.
- 00:07:57.033 --> 00:07:58.434
- And therefore, this is the very foundation of marriage because
- 00:07:58.434 --> 00:08:01.971
- That is a total reliability and a dependence on that person that
- 00:08:01.971 --> 00:08:06.475
- You said, "i do and i will," to, as well as almighty god who is
- 00:08:06.475 --> 00:08:11.847
- Built in those vows.
- 00:08:11.847 --> 00:08:14.750
- To have and to hold from this day forward.
- 00:08:14.750 --> 00:08:18.521
- That sounds like forever to me.
- 00:08:18.521 --> 00:08:20.323
- I don't know about you.
- 00:08:20.323 --> 00:08:22.758
- And that is the foundation of truth.
- 00:08:22.758 --> 00:08:25.928
- Truth is all in and through marriage.
- 00:08:25.928 --> 00:08:33.502
- Truth comes out.
- 00:08:33.502 --> 00:08:35.905
- And we discover that when we're married, we wake up sometime and
- 00:08:35.905 --> 00:08:40.476
- Say, "oh, i didn't know he was so prideful.
- 00:08:40.476 --> 00:08:46.616
- I didn't see that.
- 00:08:46.616 --> 00:08:48.417
- Oh, i didn't know she was so vengeful.
- 00:08:48.417 --> 00:08:52.822
- I didn't see that.
- 00:08:52.822 --> 00:08:54.657
- I didn't know that he was so unforgiving.
- 00:08:54.657 --> 00:08:58.027
- I didn't know that she pouted."
- 00:08:58.027 --> 00:08:59.895
- And all of this and all in between, the little bitty things
- 00:08:59.895 --> 00:09:03.866
- That we saw when we were dating or talking about getting
- 00:09:03.866 --> 00:09:07.370
- Married, now they're put on steroids.
- 00:09:07.370 --> 00:09:10.806
- Those little things become gigantic things and you wake up
- 00:09:10.806 --> 00:09:15.711
- And say, "i've married a stranger."
- 00:09:15.711 --> 00:09:19.749
- In the morning, you look over there and there's gorilla
- 00:09:19.749 --> 00:09:22.318
- Breath, and the hair looks like you put your finger in a socket
- 00:09:22.318 --> 00:09:28.391
- Or something.
- 00:09:28.391 --> 00:09:30.226
- And he gets up and puts on those old dirty sweats, and he goes to
- 00:09:30.226 --> 00:09:34.196
- The bathroom, and makes noises you never heard before.
- 00:09:34.196 --> 00:09:40.102
- You see, there's no place to hide in marriage.
- 00:09:40.102 --> 00:09:42.738
- The truth comes out.
- 00:09:42.738 --> 00:09:45.041
- It is seen in this most intimate relationship.
- 00:09:45.041 --> 00:09:49.111
- It is all there and it's startling to some people.
- 00:09:49.111 --> 00:09:54.684
- "man, you mean i've given myself to have and to hold to her or
- 00:09:54.684 --> 00:09:59.021
- To him?"
- 00:09:59.021 --> 00:10:00.656
- But it's based on truth.
- 00:10:00.656 --> 00:10:03.993
- Soren kierkegaard, the philosopher, talking about
- 00:10:03.993 --> 00:10:07.329
- Marriage, he said, it's like that when you get married,
- 00:10:07.329 --> 00:10:10.499
- You've gone to a costume ball, and you're totally masked and
- 00:10:10.499 --> 00:10:15.705
- You have a complete different costume.
- 00:10:15.705 --> 00:10:17.573
- Nobody can possibly recognize who you are.
- 00:10:17.573 --> 00:10:20.276
- And you dance, and you eat, and you have activities, and
- 00:10:20.276 --> 00:10:23.679
- Celebration, and it's a wonderful time 'til midnight.
- 00:10:23.679 --> 00:10:28.417
- I either--story of cinderella, we would say, and you take off
- 00:10:28.417 --> 00:10:32.788
- The mask.
- 00:10:32.788 --> 00:10:34.423
- Whoa!
- 00:10:34.423 --> 00:10:36.425
- And everybody knows who you are.
- 00:10:36.425 --> 00:10:39.195
- You're identified.
- 00:10:39.195 --> 00:10:41.497
- Kierkegaard, that's exactly what happens in marriage, isn't it?
- 00:10:41.497 --> 00:10:44.700
- Everybody here, "oh, yeah."
- 00:10:44.700 --> 00:10:47.269
- Isn't it?
- 00:10:47.269 --> 00:10:48.604
- To have and to hold?
- 00:10:48.604 --> 00:10:50.973
- Can i hope for a little less?
- 00:10:50.973 --> 00:10:52.508
- Can i have her or have him-- 'til death do us part.
- 00:10:52.508 --> 00:10:58.481
- Say, "well, let me tell you about marriage."
- 00:10:58.481 --> 00:11:00.449
- It's like a bridge.
- 00:11:00.449 --> 00:11:02.384
- You take a bridge.
- 00:11:02.384 --> 00:11:03.886
- It looks steady and strong.
- 00:11:03.886 --> 00:11:07.089
- It's painted and it looks great, but you take an 18-wheeler and
- 00:11:07.089 --> 00:11:11.327
- Put it on that bridge, what happens?
- 00:11:11.327 --> 00:11:13.129
- The stress of the 18-wheeler reveals all the flaws.
- 00:11:13.129 --> 00:11:17.933
- And they begin to come out and they begin to
- 00:11:17.933 --> 00:11:20.736
- Display themselves.
- 00:11:20.736 --> 00:11:22.138
- Now, did the mack truck or the 18-wheeler cause those flaws?
- 00:11:22.138 --> 00:11:26.942
- No, that mack truck just revealed those flaws that were
- 00:11:26.942 --> 00:11:31.080
- Already in the bridge.
- 00:11:31.080 --> 00:11:32.548
- That's what marriage does, folks.
- 00:11:32.548 --> 00:11:36.085
- It reveals who we are.
- 00:11:36.085 --> 00:11:38.354
- There's an openness.
- 00:11:38.354 --> 00:11:39.688
- There's a revelation of truth.
- 00:11:39.688 --> 00:11:43.959
- Marriage, based on truth.
- 00:11:43.959 --> 00:11:49.498
- So we make a vow to truth and all of a sudden, that person
- 00:11:49.498 --> 00:11:56.939
- Knows more about you than your mom or dad, your brother,
- 00:11:56.939 --> 00:11:59.475
- Your sister, your best friend.
- 00:11:59.475 --> 00:12:01.177
- It's all there, 24/7.
- 00:12:01.177 --> 00:12:04.780
- It's the most important relationship, the most
- 00:12:04.780 --> 00:12:07.216
- Sacred relationship.
- 00:12:07.216 --> 00:12:08.551
- Not parents and children, or children and parents, or brother
- 00:12:08.551 --> 00:12:11.987
- And sister, or friends.
- 00:12:11.987 --> 00:12:13.322
- It is marriage, for there's no place to hide.
- 00:12:13.322 --> 00:12:18.794
- There's no place to run.
- 00:12:18.794 --> 00:12:22.264
- And therefore, marriage always needs to be--have an open
- 00:12:22.264 --> 00:12:26.368
- Door policy.
- 00:12:26.368 --> 00:12:27.703
- There should never be any locked doors in marriage, never.
- 00:12:27.703 --> 00:12:32.608
- So in marriage, you have to-- well, i call it the
- 00:12:32.608 --> 00:12:35.711
- Beautiful triplet.
- 00:12:35.711 --> 00:12:38.113
- In marriage, you have to talk, talk, talk; listen, listen,
- 00:12:38.113 --> 00:12:43.085
- Listen; and pray, pray, pray.
- 00:12:43.085 --> 00:12:49.491
- Otherwise, you're gonna stay there.
- 00:12:49.491 --> 00:12:51.026
- "well, our marriage is okay."
- 00:12:51.026 --> 00:12:52.595
- There's a lot of okay marriages and that is a tremendous
- 00:12:52.595 --> 00:12:56.065
- Tragedy, ladies and gentlemen.
- 00:12:56.065 --> 00:12:57.499
- "well, we're okay.
- 00:12:57.499 --> 00:12:59.468
- We're doing all right.
- 00:12:59.468 --> 00:13:01.704
- You know, she sorta does everything."
- 00:13:01.704 --> 00:13:03.672
- This is a terrible, terrible thing and really it's a marriage
- 00:13:03.672 --> 00:13:07.843
- In form and not in magnificent reality.
- 00:13:07.843 --> 00:13:13.916
- Talk, talk, talk.
- 00:13:13.916 --> 00:13:15.651
- Listen, listen, listen.
- 00:13:15.651 --> 00:13:17.920
- And particularly, let me say a word to the guys.
- 00:13:17.920 --> 00:13:21.090
- I've said this many, many times, but somehow i forget it.
- 00:13:21.090 --> 00:13:25.261
- Gentlemen, we're not good listeners.
- 00:13:25.261 --> 00:13:28.430
- And when your wife comes to you with a problem, listen, listen,
- 00:13:28.430 --> 00:13:32.167
- Listen, but do not try to solve the problem.
- 00:13:32.167 --> 00:13:36.405
- That's something men don't understand.
- 00:13:36.405 --> 00:13:39.341
- They come with a problem, "well, let me tell ya, you need to do
- 00:13:39.341 --> 00:13:41.911
- This, and stop doing this, and go there."
- 00:13:41.911 --> 00:13:44.079
- Oh no, no, no, no, no, guys.
- 00:13:44.079 --> 00:13:46.448
- Listen to me.
- 00:13:46.448 --> 00:13:47.783
- When they come with their problem, merely restate the
- 00:13:47.783 --> 00:13:51.186
- Problem to them.
- 00:13:51.186 --> 00:13:53.322
- "well, you say you're having a problem with that friend who's
- 00:13:53.322 --> 00:13:56.959
- Sort of betrayed you."
- 00:13:56.959 --> 00:13:58.727
- You know, restate the problem.
- 00:13:58.727 --> 00:14:01.430
- Don't try to solve it.
- 00:14:01.430 --> 00:14:03.465
- Gentlemen, trust me.
- 00:14:03.465 --> 00:14:05.434
- You try to solve it, all of a sudden you're in the middle
- 00:14:05.434 --> 00:14:07.169
- Of it.
- 00:14:07.169 --> 00:14:09.571
- So in marriage, you listen, listen, listen; you talk, talk,
- 00:14:09.571 --> 00:14:14.476
- Talk; and you pray, pray, pray.
- 00:14:14.476 --> 00:14:16.812
- And all of a sudden, a marriage that's just okay.
- 00:14:16.812 --> 00:14:20.950
- And a lot of marriage is just okay.
- 00:14:20.950 --> 00:14:23.452
- I've read a lot of surveys about marriage, and the one that seems
- 00:14:23.452 --> 00:14:27.589
- To be overwhelmingly true is that about 62%, 63% of married
- 00:14:27.589 --> 00:14:33.796
- People say in confidence, "if i had to do over, i wouldn't marry
- 00:14:33.796 --> 00:14:37.766
- Him or her again."
- 00:14:37.766 --> 00:14:39.802
- About 60%.
- 00:14:39.802 --> 00:14:41.503
- And only about, you know, 5% to 8% marriages say, "our marriage
- 00:14:41.503 --> 00:14:47.910
- Is fabulous."
- 00:14:47.910 --> 00:14:50.612
- Only about 5%, 8%.
- 00:14:50.612 --> 00:14:53.349
- So something's wrong with all of this.
- 00:14:53.349 --> 00:14:55.050
- I think it's the fact we don't understand the vows.
- 00:14:55.050 --> 00:14:59.488
- We don't understand the sacredness of it.
- 00:14:59.488 --> 00:15:03.058
- And first of all, there is a vow to truth.
- 00:15:03.058 --> 00:15:08.731
- To truth.
- 00:15:08.731 --> 00:15:10.065
- And the next part of our vow, there is a vow to love.
- 00:15:10.065 --> 00:15:15.571
- We're gonna be dealing with love in weeks, and weeks, and weeks
- 00:15:15.571 --> 00:15:18.273
- To come, and i will not exhaust that most vital, pregnant,
- 00:15:18.273 --> 00:15:22.911
- Meaningful word.
- 00:15:22.911 --> 00:15:24.780
- But we're gonna deal with it, but i'm going to sort of touch
- 00:15:24.780 --> 00:15:27.716
- On love.
- 00:15:27.716 --> 00:15:29.618
- First of all, you read in the scripture a very clear word in 1
- 00:15:29.618 --> 00:15:36.392
- John 4:16 that god is love.
- 00:15:36.392 --> 00:15:41.964
- Now, well, i knew that.
- 00:15:41.964 --> 00:15:43.298
- Well, think about it.
- 00:15:43.298 --> 00:15:44.633
- God, god's essence, god's totality with all of his other
- 00:15:44.633 --> 00:15:49.271
- Attributes, is totally, complete, pure love.
- 00:15:49.271 --> 00:15:55.344
- And that scripture in 1 john says if we love god, therefore
- 00:15:55.344 --> 00:16:00.816
- God loves us, and there's that love relationship between you
- 00:16:00.816 --> 00:16:06.155
- And i to god.
- 00:16:06.155 --> 00:16:07.656
- And god's love is unending.
- 00:16:07.656 --> 00:16:12.127
- You can't do anything, say anything to get away from the
- 00:16:12.127 --> 00:16:16.265
- Totality of god, because god's essence is love.
- 00:16:16.265 --> 00:16:20.102
- You and i, as we abide in god, that means take up residence in
- 00:16:20.102 --> 00:16:25.441
- Godly understanding, then we have the capacity to love.
- 00:16:25.441 --> 00:16:29.378
- Some people have a tough time loving sacrificially and with
- 00:16:29.378 --> 00:16:32.714
- That big, pregnant, agape type of love because we don't realize
- 00:16:32.714 --> 00:16:37.653
- God loves us unconditionally, and therefore we have not
- 00:16:37.653 --> 00:16:41.557
- Experienced sometimes love in our family, love in
- 00:16:41.557 --> 00:16:44.626
- Relationships, and therefore we do not--we're not able to
- 00:16:44.626 --> 00:16:48.797
- Powerfully to give off love.
- 00:16:48.797 --> 00:16:51.266
- You see, because i have been loved and the proportion by
- 00:16:51.266 --> 00:16:54.436
- Which i understand god has loved me and i have been loved by
- 00:16:54.436 --> 00:16:57.806
- Others, then i have love in me and i can give off love.
- 00:16:57.806 --> 00:17:03.145
- And love is not a feeling.
- 00:17:03.145 --> 00:17:07.449
- To god, love is a noun.
- 00:17:07.449 --> 00:17:10.219
- He is love.
- 00:17:10.219 --> 00:17:11.887
- But to you and i, love is a verb.
- 00:17:11.887 --> 00:17:16.592
- It's like somebody's like, "well, i fell in love and i can
- 00:17:16.592 --> 00:17:19.228
- Fall out of love."
- 00:17:19.228 --> 00:17:20.662
- Nonsense.
- 00:17:20.662 --> 00:17:23.398
- You are a sinner, and you married a sinner, and there'll
- 00:17:23.398 --> 00:17:26.735
- Be sin in the relationship, and we can't escape it.
- 00:17:26.735 --> 00:17:30.038
- We can be forgiven from it.
- 00:17:30.038 --> 00:17:32.741
- We fell in love in a fallen world that has already fallen.
- 00:17:32.741 --> 00:17:39.081
- So we're talking about this fabulous relationship and we
- 00:17:39.081 --> 00:17:44.486
- Take a vow to love.
- 00:17:44.486 --> 00:17:47.489
- Have you ever said, "well, i can't help how i feel"?
- 00:17:47.489 --> 00:17:53.729
- Let me give you a little wake up call about feelings.
- 00:17:53.729 --> 00:17:57.166
- Feelings are not good and they're not bad.
- 00:17:57.166 --> 00:18:01.970
- Feelings are not moral or feelings are not immoral.
- 00:18:01.970 --> 00:18:06.808
- It is true that we can't help how we feel, but a lot of people
- 00:18:06.808 --> 00:18:11.980
- Use feelings as an excuse for lust, as an excuse for how we
- 00:18:11.980 --> 00:18:19.788
- Relate to somebody.
- 00:18:19.788 --> 00:18:21.123
- Well, i can't help how i feel.
- 00:18:21.123 --> 00:18:24.259
- And that brings you into two big, old, broad
- 00:18:24.259 --> 00:18:27.462
- Philosophical areas.
- 00:18:27.462 --> 00:18:28.797
- Don't get lost in it.
- 00:18:28.797 --> 00:18:31.166
- You say, "i can't help how i feel."
- 00:18:31.166 --> 00:18:33.035
- In one sense, you can't, but feelings cannot be determinative
- 00:18:33.035 --> 00:18:37.573
- Of what we do.
- 00:18:37.573 --> 00:18:39.675
- It doesn't work like that.
- 00:18:39.675 --> 00:18:42.277
- There's a whole school of thought called stoicism.
- 00:18:42.277 --> 00:18:46.048
- Need to know that word.
- 00:18:46.048 --> 00:18:47.382
- It means i don't recognize feelings.
- 00:18:47.382 --> 00:18:49.351
- I try to stomp down any emotions i have.
- 00:18:49.351 --> 00:18:52.187
- I don't want to live on the basis of emotion.
- 00:18:52.187 --> 00:18:54.489
- I'm just gonna be sterile, and static, and cold, and not
- 00:18:54.489 --> 00:18:59.194
- Recognize any feelings, just deny them.
- 00:18:59.194 --> 00:19:04.633
- That's immanuel kant, if you are a philosopher.
- 00:19:04.633 --> 00:19:07.369
- Stomp out feelings.
- 00:19:07.369 --> 00:19:08.704
- Stomp out emotions.
- 00:19:08.704 --> 00:19:10.038
- Don't let the heart rule.
- 00:19:10.038 --> 00:19:11.773
- Don't deal with that.
- 00:19:11.773 --> 00:19:13.108
- That's one extreme.
- 00:19:13.108 --> 00:19:14.810
- The other extreme, i can't help how i feel, therefore i act on
- 00:19:14.810 --> 00:19:19.348
- The basis of how i feel, and that is rousseau.
- 00:19:19.348 --> 00:19:22.684
- That is as stupid as tryin' to kill feelings as to say, "i'm
- 00:19:22.684 --> 00:19:26.955
- Going to respond because how i feel."
- 00:19:26.955 --> 00:19:30.359
- Ladies and gentlemen, i've got a news flash for some people.
- 00:19:30.359 --> 00:19:37.766
- You know what it is?
- 00:19:37.766 --> 00:19:40.102
- Feelings do not determine our action.
- 00:19:40.102 --> 00:19:45.941
- Our actions come through our free will and our reason.
- 00:19:45.941 --> 00:19:51.480
- We don't just live on the basis of our heart.
- 00:19:51.480 --> 00:19:54.216
- There is the mind and the reason that superintends and controls
- 00:19:54.216 --> 00:20:00.289
- Our feelings.
- 00:20:00.289 --> 00:20:01.623
- You got it?
- 00:20:01.623 --> 00:20:03.692
- It's a little whiney thing.
- 00:20:03.692 --> 00:20:05.327
- I can't help how i feel.
- 00:20:05.327 --> 00:20:06.895
- Feelings are not moral, they're not immoral.
- 00:20:06.895 --> 00:20:09.164
- They're not right, they're not wrong.
- 00:20:09.164 --> 00:20:10.732
- Now, we do something that is right and good, we have good
- 00:20:10.732 --> 00:20:14.436
- Feelings and it follows with happiness.
- 00:20:14.436 --> 00:20:16.405
- If we do something that is wrong and unseemly, we have guilt that
- 00:20:16.405 --> 00:20:20.108
- It comes which leads to unhappiness.
- 00:20:20.108 --> 00:20:22.244
- But feelings do not control.
- 00:20:22.244 --> 00:20:23.912
- We cannot help how we feel, but how we respond comes through our
- 00:20:23.912 --> 00:20:28.116
- Free will and our reason.
- 00:20:28.116 --> 00:20:29.718
- So you have to have the heart and the head.
- 00:20:29.718 --> 00:20:31.586
- You have to have both.
- 00:20:31.586 --> 00:20:33.021
- It's not either/or, it's both/and.
- 00:20:33.021 --> 00:20:35.924
- So don't say to anybody, "oh, i can't help how i feel.
- 00:20:35.924 --> 00:20:40.429
- I act on the basis of how i feel."
- 00:20:40.429 --> 00:20:42.931
- I've heard that so much in marriage conflicts.
- 00:20:42.931 --> 00:20:47.803
- You don't really fall in love and you don't really fall out
- 00:20:47.803 --> 00:20:50.639
- Of love.
- 00:20:50.639 --> 00:20:51.973
- And when we're married, we take those vows not just to our
- 00:20:51.973 --> 00:20:57.012
- Partner, our spouse, our mate, but to almighty god because vows
- 00:20:57.012 --> 00:21:02.651
- Are made to god.
- 00:21:02.651 --> 00:21:08.190
- This is gettin' heavy, isn't it?
- 00:21:08.256 --> 00:21:11.193
- But it is so real and so practical.
- 00:21:11.193 --> 00:21:16.365
- Now, we love to say, "well, i just love everybody.
- 00:21:16.365 --> 00:21:20.035
- Oh, i just--i'm just a lover.
- 00:21:20.035 --> 00:21:21.903
- I love everybody."
- 00:21:21.903 --> 00:21:23.338
- But you know, in the bible you find that god loves the world
- 00:21:23.338 --> 00:21:26.608
- And there is a universal understanding of love that
- 00:21:26.608 --> 00:21:29.878
- Certainly we need to be a part of, but yet love really
- 00:21:29.878 --> 00:21:34.082
- Effectively administered or operated in your life and my
- 00:21:34.082 --> 00:21:37.819
- Life is very personal.
- 00:21:37.819 --> 00:21:40.822
- It begins very small.
- 00:21:40.822 --> 00:21:44.593
- God loved abram, right?
- 00:21:44.593 --> 00:21:46.395
- Know your bible?
- 00:21:46.395 --> 00:21:48.363
- And he said, "abram, i'm gonna make out of you a great nation."
- 00:21:48.363 --> 00:21:53.402
- Couldn't god have loved a lot more people beside abraham?
- 00:21:53.402 --> 00:21:55.937
- No, he just started off with old abraham.
- 00:21:55.937 --> 00:21:59.040
- And out of abraham, he made a nation, but it was a small,
- 00:21:59.040 --> 00:22:03.278
- Insignificant nation of israelites, of jews in the
- 00:22:03.278 --> 00:22:06.882
- Backside of nowhere as far as the world is concerned.
- 00:22:06.882 --> 00:22:10.819
- But god took that small nation and loved it uniquely, tryin' to
- 00:22:10.819 --> 00:22:15.257
- Build into them through progressive revelation what life
- 00:22:15.257 --> 00:22:19.227
- Is all about and the meaning of life.
- 00:22:19.227 --> 00:22:21.363
- He loved that little, small nation.
- 00:22:21.363 --> 00:22:24.599
- And then he sent his son into the world, fulfilling prophecy
- 00:22:24.599 --> 00:22:28.904
- In that small nation.
- 00:22:28.904 --> 00:22:30.405
- And jesus primarily poured himself into just a little group
- 00:22:30.405 --> 00:22:34.142
- Of guys, didn't he?
- 00:22:34.142 --> 00:22:36.111
- Couldn't he have loved more people?
- 00:22:36.111 --> 00:22:38.680
- Couldn't he have had other plans?
- 00:22:38.680 --> 00:22:40.015
- No, he just poured himself into those men.
- 00:22:40.015 --> 00:22:44.453
- And what happened?
- 00:22:44.453 --> 00:22:46.154
- Those men in their lives, their love explained who jesus was to
- 00:22:46.154 --> 00:22:51.593
- The world blew up the whole world.
- 00:22:51.593 --> 00:22:56.231
- See, the most important thing we can do right now probably,
- 00:22:56.231 --> 00:23:00.602
- Probably most important thing we can do personally, individually
- 00:23:00.602 --> 00:23:04.139
- Is to love our mate, to love our wife and our husband as god in
- 00:23:04.139 --> 00:23:09.277
- Christ has loved us.
- 00:23:09.277 --> 00:23:11.913
- Well, that seems so small.
- 00:23:11.913 --> 00:23:14.483
- It's not really small.
- 00:23:14.483 --> 00:23:16.518
- Love is not a river that's surrounded by banks.
- 00:23:16.518 --> 00:23:20.622
- When a man loves a woman and a woman loves a man as christ
- 00:23:20.622 --> 00:23:24.926
- Loved the church and gave himself for it, in that intimacy
- 00:23:24.926 --> 00:23:28.897
- Of married love, that love flows outside the banks and that love
- 00:23:28.897 --> 00:23:36.238
- Begins to flood and grow.
- 00:23:36.238 --> 00:23:38.940
- And therefore, because in our marriage relationship we have
- 00:23:38.940 --> 00:23:42.244
- Such a love relationship with god in christ and with our wife
- 00:23:42.244 --> 00:23:46.348
- Or a husband, now everywhere we go in the world, we have the
- 00:23:46.348 --> 00:23:50.619
- Capacity to love.
- 00:23:50.619 --> 00:23:53.088
- Love is small, intimate, and then it becomes a forest fire.
- 00:23:53.088 --> 00:23:56.725
- Then it begins to spread everywhere.
- 00:23:56.725 --> 00:23:58.560
- And we can only be effective in your job, in your vocation, in
- 00:23:58.560 --> 00:24:02.230
- Relationships as we have loved our wife.
- 00:24:02.230 --> 00:24:04.833
- Now we have an explosive love.
- 00:24:04.833 --> 00:24:08.537
- You see how god works?
- 00:24:08.537 --> 00:24:11.840
- So we have a vow to truth, marriage.
- 00:24:11.840 --> 00:24:17.679
- We have a vow to love, marriage.
- 00:24:17.679 --> 00:24:22.450
- And we have a vow to something else.
- 00:24:22.450 --> 00:24:27.923
- T.l.c., and that c is "cherish."
- 00:24:27.923 --> 00:24:34.462
- You are to cherish that person.
- 00:24:34.462 --> 00:24:36.932
- What does it mean to cherish?
- 00:24:36.932 --> 00:24:38.266
- It's to give high value.
- 00:24:38.266 --> 00:24:41.202
- To cherish someone means that you support, you encourage, you
- 00:24:41.202 --> 00:24:45.907
- Cheer, you let them know that they are of the highest
- 00:24:45.907 --> 00:24:51.513
- Importance in your human life.
- 00:24:51.513 --> 00:24:54.983
- They're way up there and they can do nothing or say nothing
- 00:24:54.983 --> 00:24:59.688
- That will violate the fact that you have made a vow to truth,
- 00:24:59.688 --> 00:25:04.859
- And to love, and to cherish, and to honor them.
- 00:25:04.859 --> 00:25:09.197
- Ed: at some point, every marriage will run into
- 00:25:10.532 --> 00:25:13.234
- Tough times.
- 00:25:13.234 --> 00:25:14.736
- Whether it's miscommunication, money, sex, or in-laws, every
- 00:25:14.736 --> 00:25:18.340
- Marriage goes through a rocky patch.
- 00:25:18.340 --> 00:25:21.142
- Far too often, those rocky patches end up ruining otherwise
- 00:25:21.142 --> 00:25:24.813
- Great, potentially super marriages.
- 00:25:24.813 --> 00:25:28.016
- But it does not have to be that way.
- 00:25:28.016 --> 00:25:31.353
- God designed marriage, and he gave us the keys to have a
- 00:25:31.353 --> 00:25:35.290
- Marriage that works, a marriage that sizzles.
- 00:25:35.290 --> 00:25:38.293
- In my book, "the ten commandments of marriage", i lay
- 00:25:38.293 --> 00:25:41.563
- Out ten practical principles to make your marriage super.
- 00:25:41.563 --> 00:25:46.101
- I hope that you will get this resource today.
- 00:25:46.101 --> 00:25:51.373
- Female announcer: to get your copy, call the number on your
- 00:25:51.373 --> 00:25:53.308
- Screen or go online at winningwalk.org.
- 00:25:53.308 --> 00:25:56.511
- It's our gift to you for your financial support
- 00:25:56.511 --> 00:25:59.014
- Of this ministry.
- 00:25:59.014 --> 00:26:00.749
- Marriage may not always be bliss, but with god's help, it
- 00:26:00.749 --> 00:26:04.285
- Can be amazing.
- 00:26:04.285 --> 00:26:06.554
- Ed: how would you like to have a marriage
- 00:26:10.025 --> 00:26:11.459
- That lasts? one that is strong and stable and withstands
- 00:26:11.459 --> 00:26:15.363
- Those times when you experience the worse
- 00:26:15.363 --> 00:26:18.199
- Instead of a better, or sickness instead of health?
- 00:26:18.199 --> 00:26:22.704
- The answer is to recognize that your marriage is a triangle.
- 00:26:22.704 --> 00:26:27.175
- Marriage is really between a husband and wife,
- 00:26:27.175 --> 00:26:30.578
- But it is also a covenant that you make with your spouse
- 00:26:30.578 --> 00:26:33.782
- And make with almighty god.
- 00:26:33.782 --> 00:26:36.985
- The vows you make were a sacred covenant
- 00:26:36.985 --> 00:26:39.654
- Before god, a promise that you will keep him
- 00:26:39.654 --> 00:26:42.757
- As the very foundation of your marriage and your home.
- 00:26:42.757 --> 00:26:46.828
- Now, listen,
- 00:26:46.828 --> 00:26:48.163
- If you'd like to talk to someone about making christ
- 00:26:48.163 --> 00:26:50.498
- The very center of your marriage,
- 00:26:50.498 --> 00:26:52.400
- The very center of your life,
- 00:26:52.400 --> 00:26:54.269
- You need somebody to pray with you or give you counsel.
- 00:26:54.269 --> 00:26:57.338
- Just please call the number on your screen.
- 00:26:57.338 --> 00:27:00.141
- We are here, and we'd love to speak personally with you.
- 00:27:00.141 --> 00:27:04.145
- Let me thank you for watching today.
- 00:27:04.145 --> 00:27:06.147
- And i look forward to our time together next week,
- 00:27:06.147 --> 00:27:09.150
- Right on the winning walk
- 00:27:09.150 --> 00:27:12.020
- With jesus christ.
- 00:27:12.020 --> 00:27:14.389
- ♪♪♪
- 00:27:17.459 --> 00:27:17.459