1. TBN
  2. Programs
  3. The Winning Walk with Dr. Ed Young
  4. Episodes
  5. Ed Young - Understanding God's Sacred Gift
The Winning Walk with Dr. Ed Young

Ed Young - Understanding God's Sacred Gift

February 6, 2025 | S25:E32

Ed Young - Understanding God's Sacred Gift
The Winning Walk with Dr. Ed Young is the international on-air and online teaching ministry of Dr. Ed Young. The Winning Walk proclaims the proven truth of God’s Word to give men and women the world over a winning way to live life.
#Salvation #Faith #TrustGod #WalkwithGod #RelationshipwithGod #LoveofGod #Christianity #Religion #inActive #Confidence #Gifting/Talent #EdYoung #TheWinningWalkwithDr.EdYoung #Genesis1:27-28

Closed captions

Show Timecode
The Winning Walk with Dr. Ed Young | Ed Young - Understanding God's Sacred Gift | February 6, 2025
  • ...
  • 00:00:00.633 --> 00:00:01.346
  • ♪♪♪
  • 00:00:01.814 --> 00:00:11.390
  • ♪♪♪
  • 00:00:11.523 --> 00:00:19.731
  • ♪♪♪
  • 00:00:19.865 --> 00:00:20.032
  • Pastor ed young: what's the first command god gave to human
  • 00:00:21.200 --> 00:00:26.105
  • Beings in all of history?
  • 00:00:26.105 --> 00:00:30.309
  • What is the first command?
  • 00:00:30.309 --> 00:00:31.977
  • I'm going to read it to you.
  • 00:00:31.977 --> 00:00:33.979
  • Genesis chapter number 1, verse 27, 28, "so god created man in
  • 00:00:33.979 --> 00:00:42.688
  • His own image: in the image of god he created him; male and
  • 00:00:42.688 --> 00:00:48.894
  • Female he created them.
  • 00:00:48.894 --> 00:00:51.997
  • Then god blessed them, and said to them, 'have sex.'"
  • 00:00:51.997 --> 00:00:59.138
  • That's not in your translation?
  • 00:00:59.138 --> 00:01:03.342
  • You've never read that before?
  • 00:01:03.342 --> 00:01:06.879
  • The first command god gave to human beings was to have sex.
  • 00:01:06.879 --> 00:01:14.253
  • "be fruitful and multiply."
  • 00:01:14.253 --> 00:01:18.590
  • Have sex.
  • 00:01:18.590 --> 00:01:21.293
  • And then in chapter number 2, god performed the first marriage
  • 00:01:21.293 --> 00:01:27.366
  • Ceremony so that adam and eve would be in covenant with him
  • 00:01:27.366 --> 00:01:32.804
  • And with one another.
  • 00:01:32.804 --> 00:01:34.139
  • We know the formula.
  • 00:01:34.139 --> 00:01:36.308
  • Leave, cleave, one flesh.
  • 00:01:36.308 --> 00:01:39.811
  • You are, as we say, buck naked with no shame, whoa.
  • 00:01:39.811 --> 00:01:49.188
  • You see, prudes do not like the bible.
  • 00:01:49.988 --> 00:01:55.360
  • The bible is very clear about human sexuality.
  • 00:01:55.360 --> 00:01:59.865
  • It is very open. it is very plain.
  • 00:01:59.865 --> 00:02:02.534
  • It is very, very vivid.
  • 00:02:02.534 --> 00:02:06.038
  • And so we in our culture somehow have got this all confused,
  • 00:02:06.038 --> 00:02:10.542
  • Because have you noticed something happen in american
  • 00:02:10.542 --> 00:02:15.714
  • Culture on the way to 21st century?
  • 00:02:15.714 --> 00:02:18.016
  • Did you notice it?
  • 00:02:18.016 --> 00:02:20.419
  • One of the main things is a total misunderstanding of
  • 00:02:20.419 --> 00:02:24.690
  • Human sexuality.
  • 00:02:24.690 --> 00:02:28.360
  • Guess what?
  • 00:02:28.360 --> 00:02:30.229
  • As i recently read, there are not 71 different genders.
  • 00:02:30.229 --> 00:02:35.234
  • Oh, yes.
  • 00:02:35.234 --> 00:02:37.469
  • There's only two. there's only two.
  • 00:02:37.469 --> 00:02:44.009
  • And so we turn to the scripture to understand this wonderful,
  • 00:02:44.009 --> 00:02:51.216
  • Beautiful, sacred gift of sex and sexuality.
  • 00:02:51.216 --> 00:02:57.889
  • God invented sex.
  • 00:02:57.889 --> 00:03:00.092
  • He gave it to us.
  • 00:03:00.092 --> 00:03:02.094
  • It is magnificent.
  • 00:03:02.094 --> 00:03:03.662
  • It is glorious.
  • 00:03:03.662 --> 00:03:06.198
  • And we need to understand this gift as we need to understand
  • 00:03:06.198 --> 00:03:11.270
  • All of his gifts in the context of the church.
  • 00:03:11.270 --> 00:03:16.642
  • We've made a serious mistake with our young people, a tragic
  • 00:03:16.642 --> 00:03:20.812
  • Mistake with our young people.
  • 00:03:20.812 --> 00:03:23.215
  • We have brought them up in a church and many times with
  • 00:03:23.215 --> 00:03:25.784
  • Christian parents.
  • 00:03:25.784 --> 00:03:27.486
  • We talk to them about being pure and celibate before they
  • 00:03:27.486 --> 00:03:31.556
  • Get married.
  • 00:03:31.556 --> 00:03:34.293
  • And they accept that, by and large.
  • 00:03:34.293 --> 00:03:37.796
  • They abstain, by and large.
  • 00:03:37.796 --> 00:03:40.932
  • And then we spend $50,000 or $75,000 a year and send them to
  • 00:03:40.932 --> 00:03:45.237
  • Some college or university.
  • 00:03:45.237 --> 00:03:48.840
  • And while they're there, sex is so dominant, sex is so accepted,
  • 00:03:48.840 --> 00:03:53.712
  • You think that something's wrong with you if you have not had sex
  • 00:03:53.712 --> 00:03:56.782
  • With the opposite sex.
  • 00:03:56.782 --> 00:03:59.451
  • And therefore, they say, you know, the bible was wrong
  • 00:03:59.451 --> 00:04:04.423
  • Evidently as i was taught, as my father and mother tried to teach
  • 00:04:04.423 --> 00:04:08.193
  • Me about sex, and it is a wonderful, fabulous thing.
  • 00:04:08.193 --> 00:04:11.763
  • And then they have to go and listen into a secular class on,
  • 00:04:11.763 --> 00:04:17.135
  • Say, anthropology.
  • 00:04:17.135 --> 00:04:20.639
  • And the professor said, "well, there's no way they could be a
  • 00:04:20.639 --> 00:04:23.742
  • God of love because of all the suffering."
  • 00:04:23.742 --> 00:04:26.545
  • And they say, "oh, that's it."
  • 00:04:26.545 --> 00:04:30.048
  • When our kids no longer believe in god in church the way they
  • 00:04:30.048 --> 00:04:33.752
  • Were brought up to believe in god in church, we say, "well,
  • 00:04:33.752 --> 00:04:36.621
  • They're mixed up in their mind."
  • 00:04:36.621 --> 00:04:38.357
  • No, first of all, it came-- there came sexual promiscuity,
  • 00:04:38.357 --> 00:04:42.794
  • And then there was a theological problem, "i've got to get away
  • 00:04:42.794 --> 00:04:45.897
  • From the bible and that which i'm taught."
  • 00:04:45.897 --> 00:04:49.935
  • Aldous huxley, brilliant scholar, theologian, he's very
  • 00:04:49.935 --> 00:04:53.905
  • Honest about it.
  • 00:04:53.905 --> 00:04:55.674
  • He said, "i had to come to a posture that there is no god,
  • 00:04:55.674 --> 00:04:59.378
  • Because if there was a god it would interfere with my
  • 00:04:59.378 --> 00:05:02.614
  • Expression of my sexual life."
  • 00:05:02.614 --> 00:05:06.752
  • So this is where we are.
  • 00:05:06.752 --> 00:05:09.287
  • We have lost the purpose of sex and what sex is for.
  • 00:05:09.287 --> 00:05:13.091
  • Sex is given to human beings to be exercised gloriously,
  • 00:05:13.091 --> 00:05:19.498
  • Creatively, dynamically in the context of marriage.
  • 00:05:19.498 --> 00:05:26.371
  • Someone says, "well, you know, sex is just
  • 00:05:26.371 --> 00:05:28.240
  • Like a drive for food."
  • 00:05:28.240 --> 00:05:29.674
  • No, it's not.
  • 00:05:29.674 --> 00:05:31.410
  • A drive for food has to have some parameters.
  • 00:05:31.410 --> 00:05:35.046
  • If we would just eat and eat and eat and eat, all of us
  • 00:05:35.046 --> 00:05:37.716
  • Would weigh 600 pounds, and come forward, i'll sign your
  • 00:05:37.716 --> 00:05:41.286
  • Death certificate.
  • 00:05:41.286 --> 00:05:43.355
  • Food has to have parameters.
  • 00:05:43.355 --> 00:05:45.424
  • Sex, more than food, has to have parameters, and the parameters
  • 00:05:45.424 --> 00:05:49.861
  • For the expression of sex is within the sanctity and the
  • 00:05:49.861 --> 00:05:55.400
  • Holiness of marriage.
  • 00:05:55.400 --> 00:05:59.504
  • And then there's celebration.
  • 00:05:59.504 --> 00:06:02.107
  • What is the purpose of marriage?
  • 00:06:02.107 --> 00:06:05.777
  • Procreation, we got that.
  • 00:06:05.777 --> 00:06:08.613
  • Have children. have children.
  • 00:06:08.613 --> 00:06:12.050
  • Number two, it is for pleasure.
  • 00:06:12.050 --> 00:06:15.287
  • Now, some of our church fathers got confused at this point,
  • 00:06:15.287 --> 00:06:19.291
  • Namely augustine, namely aquinas, but it's
  • 00:06:19.291 --> 00:06:25.764
  • Also for pleasure.
  • 00:06:25.764 --> 00:06:27.098
  • I don't have to debate that. that's pretty clear, isn't it?
  • 00:06:27.098 --> 00:06:29.835
  • Also, it is a symbol, a reenactment of the covenant, if
  • 00:06:29.835 --> 00:06:35.607
  • You're a christian, that we have with god in jesus christ.
  • 00:06:35.607 --> 00:06:38.944
  • Read the bible and all the covenants are restated,
  • 00:06:38.944 --> 00:06:42.781
  • Restated, restated.
  • 00:06:42.781 --> 00:06:44.249
  • The covenant god has with abraham is stated over and
  • 00:06:44.249 --> 00:06:47.052
  • Over and over again.
  • 00:06:47.052 --> 00:06:48.820
  • The covenant with isaac and jacob, all the covenants in the
  • 00:06:48.820 --> 00:06:51.156
  • Bible are restated and restated to remind us of the relationship
  • 00:06:51.156 --> 00:06:57.128
  • And the promises of god.
  • 00:06:57.128 --> 00:06:59.364
  • Every time a married couple has sex together, they are restating
  • 00:06:59.364 --> 00:07:05.103
  • And re-establishing the covenant they have with god in christ.
  • 00:07:05.103 --> 00:07:09.908
  • It is a sacred covenant event.
  • 00:07:09.908 --> 00:07:12.811
  • Just like we go to the lord's table, the bread and the wine,
  • 00:07:12.811 --> 00:07:16.348
  • The cup, it is a restatement of the covenant we have with god in
  • 00:07:16.348 --> 00:07:22.153
  • Jesus christ in our personal salvation in his lordship over
  • 00:07:22.153 --> 00:07:26.124
  • Your life and my life.
  • 00:07:26.124 --> 00:07:27.792
  • So it is with sexual intimacy.
  • 00:07:27.792 --> 00:07:30.362
  • You see how fabulous this relationship is, and we have
  • 00:07:30.362 --> 00:07:37.068
  • Totally got it confused.
  • 00:07:37.068 --> 00:07:39.538
  • On one extreme, there is the playboy philosophy of
  • 00:07:39.538 --> 00:07:43.608
  • Anything goes.
  • 00:07:43.608 --> 00:07:45.377
  • Hey, anything goes.
  • 00:07:45.377 --> 00:07:48.914
  • On the other extreme, there is plato's philosophy.
  • 00:07:48.914 --> 00:07:53.418
  • Oh, sex is evil.
  • 00:07:53.418 --> 00:07:55.053
  • Doesn't matter, it's on the lower, lower level.
  • 00:07:55.053 --> 00:07:57.422
  • This thing about the body is nothing.
  • 00:07:57.422 --> 00:08:00.692
  • So one extreme, anything goes.
  • 00:08:00.692 --> 00:08:02.894
  • The other extreme, nothing goes.
  • 00:08:02.894 --> 00:08:06.131
  • But what is the posture we have as christians?
  • 00:08:06.131 --> 00:08:09.568
  • It is that in marriage, there is an openness, and we've already
  • 00:08:09.568 --> 00:08:13.672
  • Said it, there is a nakedness, and there is no shame.
  • 00:08:13.672 --> 00:08:19.778
  • Heard someone say that sex in marriage is like oil in
  • 00:08:19.778 --> 00:08:23.582
  • A machine.
  • 00:08:23.582 --> 00:08:25.617
  • It keeps all the parts working and there's no rusting.
  • 00:08:25.617 --> 00:08:31.923
  • So how do we handle sex?
  • 00:08:31.923 --> 00:08:34.826
  • The secular world would tell you that males give love in order to
  • 00:08:34.826 --> 00:08:41.600
  • Get sex.
  • 00:08:41.600 --> 00:08:46.771
  • On the other side of the coin, they say females give sex in
  • 00:08:46.771 --> 00:08:50.976
  • Order to get love.
  • 00:08:50.976 --> 00:08:54.546
  • Totally inaccurate. totally inaccurate.
  • 00:08:54.546 --> 00:08:58.750
  • So we come to look to the bible and get clear instructions as to
  • 00:08:58.750 --> 00:09:05.023
  • How this most sacred gift operates.
  • 00:09:05.023 --> 00:09:07.892
  • So we open the song of solomon, or the song of songs.
  • 00:09:07.892 --> 00:09:12.330
  • What does that mean?
  • 00:09:12.330 --> 00:09:14.032
  • It must mean that this book tells us how to sing the number
  • 00:09:14.032 --> 00:09:19.537
  • One song in life in the area of human sexuality.
  • 00:09:19.537 --> 00:09:25.677
  • It's the preeminent song, the song of songs.
  • 00:09:25.677 --> 00:09:31.983
  • So we're talking about, unashamedly, sexual intimacy.
  • 00:09:31.983 --> 00:09:39.324
  • The operative word for sexual intimacy is time, t-i-m-e.
  • 00:09:39.324 --> 00:09:46.731
  • The operative word for sexual intimacy is--
  • 00:09:46.731 --> 00:09:49.801
  • Congregation: time.
  • 00:09:49.801 --> 00:09:51.469
  • Pastor ed young: help me, choir.
  • 00:09:51.469 --> 00:09:53.204
  • All together, the operative word for sexual intimacy is time.
  • 00:09:53.204 --> 00:10:00.412
  • So we open the book of ecclesiastes, and i wish we had
  • 00:10:00.412 --> 00:10:04.582
  • The time to read all these passages, but i'm just going to
  • 00:10:04.582 --> 00:10:10.021
  • Make references to them.
  • 00:10:10.021 --> 00:10:12.924
  • And you can go back and check them out because
  • 00:10:12.924 --> 00:10:16.394
  • Time is important.
  • 00:10:16.394 --> 00:10:17.729
  • We study in 1 corinthians.
  • 00:10:17.729 --> 00:10:20.131
  • You read in 1 corinthians chapter number 7 a little verse
  • 00:10:20.131 --> 00:10:23.268
  • How in married life there are occasions when sex is not
  • 00:10:23.268 --> 00:10:27.972
  • Participated in by the husband and wife, because that happens
  • 00:10:27.972 --> 00:10:31.810
  • Only for a time, remember?
  • 00:10:31.810 --> 00:10:36.781
  • So we come to ecclesiastes and we see that sexual intimacy
  • 00:10:36.781 --> 00:10:41.853
  • Takes time.
  • 00:10:41.853 --> 00:10:43.555
  • You read about solomon.
  • 00:10:43.555 --> 00:10:47.292
  • He's attracted to the shulamite woman, shula, and solo,
  • 00:10:47.292 --> 00:10:53.298
  • Abbreviated names.
  • 00:10:53.298 --> 00:10:55.300
  • And solomon was attracted to her, and in chapter number 1, he
  • 00:10:55.300 --> 00:10:59.437
  • Describes for us how he saw her.
  • 00:10:59.437 --> 00:11:03.241
  • Chapter 1.
  • 00:11:03.241 --> 00:11:04.576
  • And mind, in that day, the body was totally covered and
  • 00:11:04.576 --> 00:11:07.445
  • All he saw was her face.
  • 00:11:07.445 --> 00:11:10.148
  • And so in chapter 1, when he saw this shulamite girl, he
  • 00:11:10.148 --> 00:11:14.185
  • Describes her face.
  • 00:11:14.185 --> 00:11:16.521
  • Man, her eyes, her cheeks, her lips, her neck.
  • 00:11:16.521 --> 00:11:20.258
  • That's all he could see.
  • 00:11:20.258 --> 00:11:22.293
  • That was the introductory part.
  • 00:11:22.293 --> 00:11:25.163
  • That was the first step in time with her.
  • 00:11:25.163 --> 00:11:28.767
  • And then there's a little bit about courtship.
  • 00:11:28.767 --> 00:11:32.303
  • And then on their wedding night, we move into chapter number 4,
  • 00:11:32.303 --> 00:11:37.909
  • He describes more of her body.
  • 00:11:37.909 --> 00:11:41.212
  • He describes her eyes, her neck.
  • 00:11:41.212 --> 00:11:43.414
  • He describes her breasts.
  • 00:11:43.414 --> 00:11:44.916
  • You see, there's a development there in intimacy on the
  • 00:11:44.916 --> 00:11:48.586
  • Wedding night.
  • 00:11:48.586 --> 00:11:50.121
  • And then years go by and you go to chapter 7, he describes his
  • 00:11:50.121 --> 00:11:55.493
  • Wife, the shulamite girl, from the top of her head to the
  • 00:11:55.493 --> 00:11:58.930
  • Bottom of her feet.
  • 00:11:58.930 --> 00:12:00.265
  • He starts with their feet and said, "boy, your feet sure
  • 00:12:00.265 --> 00:12:03.001
  • Look," paraphrase, "sexual in those sandals."
  • 00:12:03.001 --> 00:12:07.572
  • Yeah.
  • 00:12:07.572 --> 00:12:09.874
  • So you see, as they were married, their relationship grew
  • 00:12:09.874 --> 00:12:14.579
  • And grew, and developed from just knowing this part, knowing
  • 00:12:14.579 --> 00:12:18.349
  • This part, and knowing all of the body parts of one another.
  • 00:12:18.349 --> 00:12:23.588
  • You see, the operative word in sexual intimacy is--
  • 00:12:23.588 --> 00:12:26.691
  • Congregation: time.
  • 00:12:26.691 --> 00:12:28.026
  • Pastor ed young: it takes time.
  • 00:12:28.026 --> 00:12:29.894
  • And also the operative word in sexual intimacy is time, but
  • 00:12:29.894 --> 00:12:35.200
  • Sexual intimacy takes timing.
  • 00:12:35.200 --> 00:12:40.104
  • Timing, right?
  • 00:12:40.104 --> 00:12:41.940
  • Not going too fast for anybody, am i?
  • 00:12:41.940 --> 00:12:43.675
  • Are you with me?
  • 00:12:43.675 --> 00:12:45.310
  • You see it in ecclesiastes.
  • 00:12:45.310 --> 00:12:48.012
  • There in chapter number 5, solomon gets up.
  • 00:12:48.012 --> 00:12:52.750
  • He says, "man, i feel like making love to shula may," and
  • 00:12:52.750 --> 00:12:56.855
  • He goes and knocks on the door of her bedroom.
  • 00:12:56.855 --> 00:13:00.458
  • And she says, "what?"
  • 00:13:00.458 --> 00:13:03.695
  • And he says, "open the door.
  • 00:13:03.695 --> 00:13:06.064
  • Man, i want to come and make love to you."
  • 00:13:06.064 --> 00:13:08.499
  • Young's paraphrase, it's right there.
  • 00:13:08.499 --> 00:13:12.270
  • And shula says, "you know, i'm just waking up and i'm not
  • 00:13:12.270 --> 00:13:17.642
  • Ready," and she makes little excuses there.
  • 00:13:17.642 --> 00:13:20.478
  • And by the way, there you have a biblical grounds for the
  • 00:13:20.478 --> 00:13:24.549
  • Headache, right there, right in song of songs.
  • 00:13:24.549 --> 00:13:31.923
  • And she says, "no, no, no," and then she kinda wakes up.
  • 00:13:31.923 --> 00:13:35.293
  • She said, "you know, it's unscheduled.
  • 00:13:35.293 --> 00:13:37.962
  • It's not the timing," but man, she went and opens the door, and
  • 00:13:37.962 --> 00:13:41.633
  • Solomon has left.
  • 00:13:41.633 --> 00:13:44.502
  • He's gone. "solomon, come back!
  • 00:13:44.502 --> 00:13:46.337
  • Hey, i'm reconsidering here your proposition.
  • 00:13:46.337 --> 00:13:49.107
  • We're married."
  • 00:13:49.107 --> 00:13:51.009
  • And remember, we've already studied in 1 corinthians a very
  • 00:13:51.009 --> 00:13:53.978
  • Devastating passage.
  • 00:13:53.978 --> 00:13:56.281
  • God says, "wives, you don't own your bodies any longer.
  • 00:13:56.281 --> 00:13:59.617
  • Your husband owns them.
  • 00:13:59.617 --> 00:14:01.352
  • Husbands, you don't own your bodies any longer.
  • 00:14:01.352 --> 00:14:03.288
  • Your wife owns--" oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
  • 00:14:03.288 --> 00:14:06.090
  • And so now she gets up and gets dressed, and she's running all
  • 00:14:06.090 --> 00:14:08.960
  • Over everywhere tryin' to find solomon.
  • 00:14:08.960 --> 00:14:12.297
  • By the way, the song of solomon is an amazing book in a lot of
  • 00:14:12.297 --> 00:14:16.467
  • Fashions, but it pictures the shulamite girl seeking to be
  • 00:14:16.467 --> 00:14:22.540
  • Intimate with her husband more than solomon is seeking to be
  • 00:14:22.540 --> 00:14:25.443
  • Intimate with her.
  • 00:14:25.443 --> 00:14:26.778
  • It is an aggressive female.
  • 00:14:26.778 --> 00:14:29.847
  • Read it.
  • 00:14:29.847 --> 00:14:32.016
  • Oh, i've never heard of such a thing.
  • 00:14:32.016 --> 00:14:34.118
  • Can you think how that would go off way back there in antiquity?
  • 00:14:34.118 --> 00:14:39.390
  • You see, it's a celebration and it takes timing.
  • 00:14:39.390 --> 00:14:45.063
  • Go on the internet and look up something like the danger of
  • 00:14:45.063 --> 00:14:51.336
  • Poor timing.
  • 00:14:51.336 --> 00:14:53.671
  • You know, the danger of timing.
  • 00:14:53.671 --> 00:14:56.474
  • You'd probably get references to something in space that doesn't
  • 00:14:56.474 --> 00:15:00.244
  • Work and has to come together, and that's what i thought.
  • 00:15:00.244 --> 00:15:03.481
  • But you get in there, you know what it takes you to?
  • 00:15:03.481 --> 00:15:07.151
  • A bmw.
  • 00:15:07.151 --> 00:15:09.554
  • A bmw, according to ward's automotive magazine, which is
  • 00:15:09.554 --> 00:15:13.958
  • Preeminent, evidently, in understanding of engines and
  • 00:15:13.958 --> 00:15:16.961
  • Magazines, for 26 years has said the bmw makes the best engine of
  • 00:15:16.961 --> 00:15:24.602
  • Any manufacturer of automobiles, bmw.
  • 00:15:24.602 --> 00:15:28.606
  • In 26 years, bmw engine has finished number one.
  • 00:15:28.606 --> 00:15:33.111
  • Only two years, they finished number two.
  • 00:15:33.111 --> 00:15:35.446
  • It is the most delicate tuned engine of anything that's made
  • 00:15:35.446 --> 00:15:40.885
  • On the planet according to this automotive magazine, which is
  • 00:15:40.885 --> 00:15:44.088
  • Considered to be definitive.
  • 00:15:44.088 --> 00:15:46.824
  • And so you look up and you talk about the danger of poor timing,
  • 00:15:46.824 --> 00:15:50.962
  • And you read there about how when somebody tinkers with the
  • 00:15:50.962 --> 00:15:55.867
  • Motor the slightest bit, the engine of a bmw, you have to go
  • 00:15:55.867 --> 00:15:59.704
  • Back and get the ignition adjusted and it has to be
  • 00:15:59.704 --> 00:16:05.576
  • Re-timed, huh.
  • 00:16:05.576 --> 00:16:10.848
  • And if this body is the engine god has given to you and me for
  • 00:16:10.848 --> 00:16:14.585
  • Sexual expression in marriage, timing is very important because
  • 00:16:14.585 --> 00:16:19.757
  • It's more intricate than even a bmw engine.
  • 00:16:19.757 --> 00:16:25.329
  • What are we saying, folks?
  • 00:16:25.329 --> 00:16:27.598
  • With symbol and metaphor, we understand a finely
  • 00:16:27.598 --> 00:16:31.002
  • Tuned engine.
  • 00:16:31.002 --> 00:16:32.870
  • There has to be timing there at the ignition.
  • 00:16:32.870 --> 00:16:35.373
  • And that's true in all the love-making we have in a
  • 00:16:35.373 --> 00:16:38.509
  • Marriage relationship.
  • 00:16:38.509 --> 00:16:40.244
  • Am i goin' too fast for anybody?
  • 00:16:40.244 --> 00:16:43.448
  • Apply it to yourself.
  • 00:16:43.448 --> 00:16:45.817
  • Apply it to your own life.
  • 00:16:45.817 --> 00:16:48.853
  • And so we understand the operative word in sexual
  • 00:16:48.853 --> 00:16:52.857
  • Intimacy is--
  • 00:16:52.857 --> 00:16:54.625
  • Congregation: time.
  • 00:16:54.625 --> 00:16:55.960
  • Pastor ed young: and it takes time and it takes timing.
  • 00:16:55.960 --> 00:17:00.565
  • Also it takes something else.
  • 00:17:00.565 --> 00:17:04.335
  • Sexual intimacy requires timely communication.
  • 00:17:04.335 --> 00:17:13.811
  • Read this book and you'll see that solomon and the shulamite,
  • 00:17:13.811 --> 00:17:19.884
  • They talk all the time.
  • 00:17:19.884 --> 00:17:21.853
  • It's just full of talking and conversation.
  • 00:17:21.853 --> 00:17:24.088
  • They talk, they talk, they talk when they were making love,
  • 00:17:24.088 --> 00:17:27.391
  • Before they made love, while they made love.
  • 00:17:27.391 --> 00:17:29.460
  • Read it, all in between, they're talking.
  • 00:17:29.460 --> 00:17:31.162
  • They're communicating.
  • 00:17:31.162 --> 00:17:32.830
  • It's important that we communicate; that we do not let
  • 00:17:32.830 --> 00:17:38.369
  • Things build up in a marriage relationship.
  • 00:17:38.369 --> 00:17:41.172
  • And we haven't dealt with this, and we haven't dealt with this,
  • 00:17:41.172 --> 00:17:43.508
  • We haven't dealt with this.
  • 00:17:43.508 --> 00:17:45.009
  • And there's a verse there in the 2nd chapter of song of solomon,
  • 00:17:45.009 --> 00:17:50.681
  • "catch the little foxes because they spoil the vines."
  • 00:17:50.681 --> 00:17:55.186
  • Great little verse.
  • 00:17:55.186 --> 00:17:56.821
  • I thought about that in terms of communication.
  • 00:17:56.821 --> 00:17:59.123
  • It's those little bitty irritating things.
  • 00:17:59.123 --> 00:18:03.327
  • He just keeps on criticizing.
  • 00:18:03.327 --> 00:18:05.363
  • She just keeps on harping.
  • 00:18:05.363 --> 00:18:07.198
  • She just keeps on dogging.
  • 00:18:07.198 --> 00:18:09.000
  • And those little bitty foxes-- in that day in a vineyard, the
  • 00:18:09.000 --> 00:18:13.304
  • Little foxes would go in and they would go and attack the
  • 00:18:13.304 --> 00:18:16.207
  • Very roots of the vine that wants to produce fruit.
  • 00:18:16.207 --> 00:18:20.978
  • They'd attack the roots and then,
  • 00:18:20.978 --> 00:18:22.380
  • No, there would not be any fruit.
  • 00:18:22.380 --> 00:18:23.714
  • There wouldn't be any production.
  • 00:18:23.714 --> 00:18:25.316
  • That's what happens, ladies and gentlemen, in marriage
  • 00:18:25.316 --> 00:18:28.319
  • Relationships and families when there's little peep,
  • 00:18:28.319 --> 00:18:31.155
  • Peep, peep, peep.
  • 00:18:31.155 --> 00:18:32.490
  • Well, no big thing. peep, peep, peep.
  • 00:18:32.490 --> 00:18:34.759
  • And but suddenly, the roots are attacked and there's no joy and
  • 00:18:34.759 --> 00:18:39.230
  • Fruition and growth and development in the
  • 00:18:39.230 --> 00:18:41.632
  • Marriage relationship.
  • 00:18:41.632 --> 00:18:42.967
  • Check those little foxes. it takes communication.
  • 00:18:42.967 --> 00:18:47.371
  • Communication is very important.
  • 00:18:47.371 --> 00:18:50.374
  • What is communication about?
  • 00:18:50.374 --> 00:18:53.277
  • How do we communicate?
  • 00:18:53.277 --> 00:18:55.613
  • Most of us would say with words, right?
  • 00:18:55.613 --> 00:18:59.884
  • We communicate with words.
  • 00:18:59.884 --> 00:19:02.019
  • Not really.
  • 00:19:02.019 --> 00:19:03.955
  • Only 7% of communication has to do with words.
  • 00:19:03.955 --> 00:19:11.829
  • Boy, when i read that and realized it was true, i said,
  • 00:19:11.829 --> 00:19:14.999
  • You know, i've spent a lot of time with words.
  • 00:19:14.999 --> 00:19:18.469
  • I'm a semi-wordsmith.
  • 00:19:18.469 --> 00:19:21.105
  • Every week, i write out a manuscript, 32, 52 pages.
  • 00:19:21.105 --> 00:19:26.978
  • You hope it will be 32.
  • 00:19:26.978 --> 00:19:30.982
  • Impossible to preach a bad short sermon, people keep
  • 00:19:30.982 --> 00:19:33.784
  • Reminding me.
  • 00:19:33.784 --> 00:19:36.020
  • But i work at words.
  • 00:19:36.020 --> 00:19:38.089
  • I do not memorize, particularly.
  • 00:19:38.089 --> 00:19:39.757
  • It's just the overflow of what i've gotten and what i work.
  • 00:19:39.757 --> 00:19:42.827
  • Every thursday, i write out a manuscript.
  • 00:19:42.827 --> 00:19:46.364
  • That's what i do, words. but words are not big.
  • 00:19:46.364 --> 00:19:49.467
  • Only 7% of what we communicate with one another has to do
  • 00:19:49.467 --> 00:19:52.603
  • With words.
  • 00:19:52.603 --> 00:19:54.705
  • Well, that's kinda strange.
  • 00:19:54.705 --> 00:19:57.408
  • Kinda strange.
  • 00:19:57.408 --> 00:19:59.176
  • Thirty-eight percent has to do with tone of voice.
  • 00:19:59.176 --> 00:20:05.016
  • Words.
  • 00:20:05.016 --> 00:20:06.751
  • Well, there's a lot left. what's left?
  • 00:20:06.751 --> 00:20:08.486
  • You've got words and your tone of voice.
  • 00:20:08.486 --> 00:20:11.656
  • Well, there's a lot left in this communication package.
  • 00:20:11.656 --> 00:20:14.959
  • Fifty-five percent has to do with body language
  • 00:20:14.959 --> 00:20:20.331
  • And expression.
  • 00:20:20.331 --> 00:20:22.600
  • Whoa!
  • 00:20:22.600 --> 00:20:24.235
  • Have you ever thought about that?
  • 00:20:24.235 --> 00:20:27.705
  • So here we go.
  • 00:20:27.705 --> 00:20:29.040
  • Let me prove that to you right now.
  • 00:20:29.040 --> 00:20:32.710
  • Let's take the word "yes."
  • 00:20:32.710 --> 00:20:36.380
  • Why, yes.
  • 00:20:36.380 --> 00:20:38.215
  • Tone of voice.
  • 00:20:38.215 --> 00:20:41.152
  • Yes!
  • 00:20:41.152 --> 00:20:44.355
  • Yes.
  • 00:20:44.355 --> 00:20:46.691
  • Well, 38%.
  • 00:20:46.691 --> 00:20:49.727
  • What's that 55%? expression.
  • 00:20:49.727 --> 00:20:53.164
  • It is, "yes!
  • 00:20:53.164 --> 00:20:55.900
  • Yes!"
  • 00:20:55.900 --> 00:20:57.535
  • It is, "yes.
  • 00:20:57.535 --> 00:20:59.870
  • Yes."
  • 00:20:59.870 --> 00:21:01.972
  • The expression, the smile, that is the 55% of when we try to
  • 00:21:01.972 --> 00:21:07.545
  • Communicate with one another.
  • 00:21:07.545 --> 00:21:10.781
  • All right, let's just show how many steps involved
  • 00:21:10.781 --> 00:21:12.883
  • In communication.
  • 00:21:12.883 --> 00:21:14.952
  • Here's a husband wants to communicate with his wife.
  • 00:21:14.952 --> 00:21:17.455
  • This is what he wants to say to his wife.
  • 00:21:17.455 --> 00:21:20.791
  • He thinks about what he wants to say, okay.
  • 00:21:20.791 --> 00:21:24.628
  • Thinks about, and then he expresses that to his wife, what
  • 00:21:24.628 --> 00:21:28.332
  • He wants to say, which is something different than he
  • 00:21:28.332 --> 00:21:31.168
  • Thought about saying, right?
  • 00:21:31.168 --> 00:21:34.138
  • Then his wife hears what he says.
  • 00:21:34.138 --> 00:21:37.174
  • Then his wife takes what he has said and applies it to her.
  • 00:21:37.174 --> 00:21:42.246
  • And then she thinks about what she wants to say back to her
  • 00:21:42.246 --> 00:21:45.449
  • Husband, okay.
  • 00:21:45.449 --> 00:21:47.685
  • And she states it and he hears it, and he applies that
  • 00:21:47.685 --> 00:21:52.490
  • To himself.
  • 00:21:52.490 --> 00:21:54.859
  • And then he thinks about what he wants to say back to her.
  • 00:21:54.859 --> 00:21:57.828
  • Ladies and gentlemen, there are eight steps in just a bam of
  • 00:21:57.828 --> 00:22:02.733
  • Communication between a husband and wife.
  • 00:22:02.733 --> 00:22:04.969
  • You got it?
  • 00:22:04.969 --> 00:22:06.303
  • At any of those steps, there could be all kinds of confusion
  • 00:22:06.303 --> 00:22:12.443
  • With words, a little bit; tone of voice, bigger; body language,
  • 00:22:12.443 --> 00:22:20.985
  • Body language, 55%.
  • 00:22:20.985 --> 00:22:26.724
  • We need to learn how to communicate and don't let those
  • 00:22:26.724 --> 00:22:29.627
  • Little foxes spoil the vine if there's going to be sexual
  • 00:22:29.627 --> 00:22:33.030
  • Intimacy, communication.
  • 00:22:33.030 --> 00:22:38.269
  • And then not only sexual intimacy, the
  • 00:22:38.269 --> 00:22:43.040
  • Operative word is--
  • 00:22:43.040 --> 00:22:44.375
  • Congregation: time.
  • 00:22:44.375 --> 00:22:45.709
  • Pastor ed young: and then that takes-- sexual intimacy involves
  • 00:22:45.709 --> 00:22:47.778
  • Being timely.
  • 00:22:47.778 --> 00:22:49.680
  • And then sexual intimacy involves timely communication.
  • 00:22:49.680 --> 00:22:56.187
  • And then finally, it takes time away.
  • 00:22:56.187 --> 00:23:02.927
  • Cut out everything else.
  • 00:23:02.927 --> 00:23:04.728
  • Shut off computers and phones and activities, and times away
  • 00:23:04.728 --> 00:23:09.066
  • With a husband or wife.
  • 00:23:09.066 --> 00:23:10.501
  • Doesn't matter where you go, how you go.
  • 00:23:10.501 --> 00:23:12.169
  • Shut the door, get away.
  • 00:23:12.169 --> 00:23:13.938
  • Time away.
  • 00:23:13.938 --> 00:23:16.740
  • We're talking about sexual intimacy.
  • 00:23:16.740 --> 00:23:18.943
  • We talkin' about a relationship that is growing and developing
  • 00:23:18.943 --> 00:23:22.413
  • Sweeter and better, year by year by year by year.
  • 00:23:22.413 --> 00:23:27.985
  • Thrilling thing, don't miss on that.
  • 00:23:27.985 --> 00:23:30.888
  • It's exceedingly important, all of this, in having a marriage
  • 00:23:30.888 --> 00:23:35.392
  • That solomon would say sings, having a great marriage.
  • 00:23:35.392 --> 00:23:41.866
  • Let's just say, and i could illustrate this but i'll not,
  • 00:23:41.866 --> 00:23:47.004
  • That you were invited to go to a meeting of the top wealthiest,
  • 00:23:47.004 --> 00:23:52.376
  • Most successful executives in america.
  • 00:23:52.376 --> 00:23:56.981
  • Say there were about 12 people there and all 12 people were
  • 00:23:56.981 --> 00:24:00.417
  • Asked to tell the group their secret of success and what
  • 00:24:00.417 --> 00:24:07.791
  • They've done.
  • 00:24:07.791 --> 00:24:09.560
  • One guy stands up and he said, "well, you know, before i was 21
  • 00:24:09.560 --> 00:24:12.630
  • Years old, i came from nothing but i'd made my first million
  • 00:24:12.630 --> 00:24:16.600
  • Dollars and now i'm ceo of a company and it's worth--"
  • 00:24:16.600 --> 00:24:20.738
  • Next guy stands up and says, "well, i went to school.
  • 00:24:20.738 --> 00:24:23.307
  • You know, i got a phd, and i went out
  • 00:24:23.307 --> 00:24:26.043
  • And i made this contribution.
  • 00:24:26.043 --> 00:24:27.411
  • I won a nobel prize."
  • 00:24:27.411 --> 00:24:29.613
  • And they give all their stories of success.
  • 00:24:29.613 --> 00:24:31.882
  • And this average guy in there, you say, "what am i going
  • 00:24:31.882 --> 00:24:35.886
  • To say?
  • 00:24:35.886 --> 00:24:37.788
  • I'm just average."
  • 00:24:37.788 --> 00:24:40.824
  • And he said to those other men, he said, "you know, i've been
  • 00:24:40.824 --> 00:24:48.532
  • Married to a great gal for 32 years.
  • 00:24:48.532 --> 00:24:54.104
  • We have four super children, three girls and a boy, and
  • 00:24:54.104 --> 00:25:00.611
  • I love my wife today now more than i did when we got married.
  • 00:25:00.611 --> 00:25:03.447
  • Our children, all but one are married, and they have children,
  • 00:25:03.447 --> 00:25:06.917
  • And they love the lord jesus christ, and they're faithful,
  • 00:25:06.917 --> 00:25:10.454
  • And their lives are full of glory and honor of god."
  • 00:25:10.454 --> 00:25:13.724
  • He said, "that's my success."
  • 00:25:13.724 --> 00:25:17.861
  • Female: we have the promise that god
  • 00:25:19.563 --> 00:25:21.131
  • Will direct all our paths.
  • 00:25:21.131 --> 00:25:23.100
  • Male: plus the guarantee of a long life.
  • 00:25:23.100 --> 00:25:25.035
  • Female: the assurance of our family's protection.
  • 00:25:25.035 --> 00:25:27.304
  • Male: the promise of creative wisdom.
  • 00:25:27.304 --> 00:25:28.906
  • Female: and he will never leave us or forsake us.
  • 00:25:28.906 --> 00:25:32.176
  • Male announcer: the promises of god are available
  • 00:25:32.176 --> 00:25:33.644
  • For all believers in christ.
  • 00:25:33.644 --> 00:25:35.713
  • Each day is an opportunity to live in the fullness of what
  • 00:25:35.713 --> 00:25:38.248
  • He's already pledged to us in his word.
  • 00:25:38.248 --> 00:25:41.285
  • Now in this beautiful hard-bound edition,
  • 00:25:41.285 --> 00:25:43.587
  • Dr. young shares a full year of inspirational thoughts with a
  • 00:25:43.587 --> 00:25:46.957
  • Daily promise from god's word.
  • 00:25:46.957 --> 00:25:49.159
  • In a few minutes each day, you'll see just how much god has
  • 00:25:49.159 --> 00:25:52.429
  • Already provided for you and your family.
  • 00:25:52.429 --> 00:25:55.165
  • It's a wonderful book of encouragement for you,
  • 00:25:55.165 --> 00:25:58.035
  • Or the perfect gift for someone else.
  • 00:25:58.035 --> 00:26:00.537
  • To get your copy, call the number on your screen,
  • 00:26:00.537 --> 00:26:03.173
  • Or go online at winningwalk.org.
  • 00:26:03.173 --> 00:26:06.143
  • It's our gift to you for your financial
  • 00:26:06.143 --> 00:26:07.811
  • Support of this ministry.
  • 00:26:07.811 --> 00:26:10.180
  • Live each day to its fullest,
  • 00:26:10.180 --> 00:26:12.516
  • Standing on the promises of god's word.
  • 00:26:12.516 --> 00:26:15.185
  • Pastor ed young: marriage is like a dance.
  • 00:26:17.221 --> 00:26:19.223
  • There's a rhythm and beauty when husband and wife work together
  • 00:26:19.223 --> 00:26:21.959
  • In concert with almighty god.
  • 00:26:21.959 --> 00:26:24.762
  • It paints a beautiful picture to the watching world that god is
  • 00:26:24.762 --> 00:26:28.666
  • Orchestrating this relationship.
  • 00:26:28.666 --> 00:26:31.135
  • There's timing, balance, and teamwork as husband and wife
  • 00:26:31.135 --> 00:26:36.407
  • Become more and more like christ.
  • 00:26:36.407 --> 00:26:39.476
  • Do you want a marriage that is growing and beautiful
  • 00:26:39.476 --> 00:26:41.745
  • And alive?
  • 00:26:41.745 --> 00:26:43.280
  • It requires both individuals to be submissive to the
  • 00:26:43.280 --> 00:26:46.684
  • Choreographer, god himself.
  • 00:26:46.684 --> 00:26:49.586
  • He wants you to experience the kind of marriage he designed for
  • 00:26:49.586 --> 00:26:53.123
  • You and for me to have.
  • 00:26:53.123 --> 00:26:55.125
  • Let us help you begin this journey.
  • 00:26:55.125 --> 00:26:57.461
  • Call the number on your screen.
  • 00:26:57.461 --> 00:27:00.364
  • We'd love to speak with you and pray with you.
  • 00:27:00.364 --> 00:27:04.001
  • And i hope you'll make plans to join us again next time right
  • 00:27:04.001 --> 00:27:07.404
  • Here on "the winning walk" with jesus christ.
  • 00:27:07.404 --> 00:27:11.809
  • ♪♪♪
  • 00:27:11.809 --> 00:27:11.809