Ed Young - Unifying Marriage

February 23, 2025 | 27:29

Ed Young explores the concept of marriage and the importance of understanding it as a covenant between a couple and God. He emphasizes the need for communication and honesty in a marriage and encourages couples to both weed out negative aspects of their relationship and plant seeds of love and growth. Young also highlights the significance of praying together as a couple and allowing God to be the stabilizer in their union. Ultimately, he presents marriage as a powerful and transformative gift from God when approached with intention and commitment.

#Faith #Relationships #Love #Marriage #Religion #WordofGod #Resurrection #Divorce #EdYoung #Unity #Covenant #TheWinningWalkwithDr.EdYoung

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The Winning Walk with Dr. Ed Young | Ed Young - Unifying Marriage | February 23, 2025

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♪♪♪
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Ed young: how many times people would come to me and they said,
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"i've fallen in love."
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Well, i asked, you know, how it happened, and so many times, i
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Saw her and i knew she was the one.
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Now, i grant you that sometimes, rarely, this work's out a-okay,
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But normally those who say, "lightning struck and i knew and
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I fell in love," normally we have some problems there.
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Because the very word, to fall, right?
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It means usually to fall down.
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I know you can fall upstairs and you can maybe fall up a cliff,
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But generally to fall means you fall down and you're tripped up,
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You didn't see what was there and you have fallen.
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And so when somebody says they have fallen in love, usually, so
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Many times, tragically that love bottoms out and they fall, in
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Their words, out of love.
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We're talking about marriage, we've been talking about
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Marriage, we're talking about singleness.
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We'll talk about a lot of relationships in the coming
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Weeks as we sort of take 1 corinthians 7, and just walk
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Through it, and take other passages and enhance what god is
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Trying to say to you and me, especially and particularly,
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About marriage.
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And we understand, brand new, that when someone comes and says
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Something like, "well, what difference does a little piece
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Of paper make?"
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You ever heard that?
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Let me tell you the difference it makes; all of a sudden law is
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Involved, all of a sudden the lord is involved, and there is
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Marriage involved, and usually someone who says, "well, i'm not
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Gonna love you any more with just a little piece of paper,"
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What they're really saying, "i don't trust you with my heart
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And my emotions.
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As long as i feel like i love you, oh, we're going to
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Stay together."
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But we've already looked at the word feeling, feeling, "i can't
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Help how i feel."
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Remember that?
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And we used it as an excuse for something we do.
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Feelings are not positive or negative, they're not good or
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Bad, remember?
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Feelings come as a result of our emotions, our heart, "i just
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Can't help how i feel."
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We can't help how we feel but we certainly can help how we
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Respond to feelings.
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Free will, thought, reason, goes into the response to feeling.
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Therefore, to give an excuse, "well, i can't help how i feel,"
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That's what happens to people who think a piece of paper
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Doesn't make any difference, that's what happens to people
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Who doesn't understand that marriage is a covenant.
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Not so much a contract, not so much a legal thing, it is a
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Covenant between that couple and almighty god.
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And by the way, do you remember that we say vows only to god?
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If you got married, you were standing there, a male and
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Female, and the pastor stood up and said, "well, you give
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Yourself to one another, and you are to stay together good or
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Bad, for better, for worse."
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And you repeat after him, "for better, for worse, for rich or
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For poor, in sickness as in health."
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Do you so promise?
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"i do."
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Who are you saying those vows to?
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To your mate to be?
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Your husband, your wife?
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No, you're saying those vows to god, vows are made only to god,
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That's what makes it a covenant.
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So therefore, when you make this promise to god, say these vows
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To god, not to your mate, it's god, totally-totally different.
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And therefore the same thing happens in our
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Conversion experience.
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Therefore, we see that marriage and a new birth of becoming a
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Christian are a wonderful metaphor, marriage is a metaphor
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For that experience.
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For example, when you say, "i believe that jesus, christmas,
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Word became flesh, dwelt among us.
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I believe calvary, he died on the cross for our sins.
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I believe in resurrection, god raised him from the dead.
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I believe the basic historical facts about the good news of
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What god has done for man in jesus christ."
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Do you so believe?
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And you answer, "i do," but you're not a christian.
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No-no-no, that's not the christian experience, to believe
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The facts and to say, "i do," to those facts, that does not make
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Anybody a christian.
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It's when the question comes, "do you receive jesus christ in
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Your life as your savior, to salvage you, to save you, and as
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Your lord, to run your life?"
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Then when you say, "i will," you become a christian.
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You see the parallel between the covenant we make with our bride
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And with the groom in marriage, "i do, i will," is a metaphor of
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The covenant we make with god when we receive him as jesus
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Christ, "i believe these facts and i will receive him into
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My life."
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So we're in the covenant, let's look at what a covenant looks
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Like, look at this little triangle up here, i love it.
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Marriage is god's gift.
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Where did marriage come from?
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God, in the beginning, and when a man and woman come together
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And they're married, and notice something very-very powerful.
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When the wife grows closer to jesus and when the husband goes
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Closer to jesus, notice that as they are growing closer to
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Jesus, they're getting closer to each other.
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See?
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Look at it.
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As they grow, as they grow and they meet in jesus christ, and
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Therefore we have a topsy-turvy understanding of salvation and
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Of marriage.
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We have the idea that we receive jesus christ and someday we're
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Going to heaven.
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We've got that backwards, ladies and gentlemen.
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Now, when a sperm and egg come together, bang,
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There's conception.
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When we receive jesus christ as lord and savior, bang, there's
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Conception, there's a new birth and we're already in heaven if
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You've done that.
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"yeah, i was crucified with christ," that sounds like death
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To me.
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"nevertheless, i live; yet not i, but christ lives in me."
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Therefore, we are already in heaven, we're already in the
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Throne room of god at the right hand of the lord, we're already
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There right now.
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Therefore, getting to heaven is not climbing, "i'm working to
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Get to heaven."
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Oh no, it is a realized fact today, we're in heaven.
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And now we're just in this life, as christians, discovering,
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Listen carefully, what we've already become, what we
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Already have.
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Whoa, we're discovering who we are in christ, what we already
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Have, that's our christian life, that's the excitement of it.
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The same way a metaphor in marriage.
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When do we become one?
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"two shall become one."
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We get that in genesis 2, don't we?
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Leave, cleave, one flesh, naked, no shame, one.
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We get the same thing from jesus.
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In matthew, he said two have become one...
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"let no man put asunder...
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What god has joined together," matthew.
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We get the same thing in ephesians, by paul, "two
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Become one."
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When does that happen?
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When you say, "i do," and, "i will," bang, you're married,
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Right then you become one.
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Now, in the process, we have to grow and develop in that
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Oneness, discovering afresh who we really are with this new
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Person that has come into being.
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Therefore, when a death takes place in marriage, that's
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Divorce, it's suicide.
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A new life that had been created when two became one, there's a
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New creation there, and when that marriage ends in divorce,
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That is a suicide.
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And we'll talk about this clearly, biblically, when we
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Start dealing with divorce and healing, etcetera.
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Don't get all tangled up, we're just gonna deal on
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Biblical truth.
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So therefore, we see two become one instantly with, "i do," and,
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"i will."
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And therefore, we have the wonderful privilege of marriage.
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I've already talked about the only three kind of marriages:
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There are bad marriages, there are okay marriages and there are
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Great marriages.
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Now, what kind would you like to have?
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God gives us principles to have great marriage.
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Are you and i willing to follow his principles and have a great
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Marriage or not?
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That's the question.
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And by the way, it always works.
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I've got two personal examples in my own life of what a great
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Marriage is all about and i can give plenty of proof and
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Validity to it.
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Do you wanna have a great marriage?
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Or just, "hang on, okay, you know, we've been married a while
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And i just," what kind of marriage do you want?
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What kind of marriage do you want?
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We have to understand marriage consist of two dimensions.
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First of all, there is the horizontal dimension, that's
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Everyday life, that's here and there, everyday life.
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And for this marriage to grow, and grow in more oneness, it's
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Already one, and a realization of that oneness and a
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Fulfillment of that oneness, what has to take place?
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There has to be weeds, you have to weed and you have to plant.
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Weed and plant, weed and plant, that's always the ministry and
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The work of marriage, you weed and you plant.
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We had a garden almost all of my life in our backyard, my dad
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Required that i worked in it.
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I hated it, i'm not a gardening kinda guy; some people are, more
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Power to you.
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But when you have a garden, you have to break up the soil and
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You plant and you weed, you weed, you weed.
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In life, you have to do some weeding.
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What are some of the weeds we have to pull up?
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I challenge you that when you get home with your wife, your
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Husband, in a quiet time, and both of you say, "look, whatever
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You say, i'm not going to have the lawyer in me operating."
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You know all of us have lawyers in us?
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In us there's that prosecuting lawyer, "let me tell you what's
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Wrong with you, honey," there's a prosecutor.
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In all of us there's a defense lawyer, where we
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Defend ourselves.
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If you're gonna do some effective weeding, get the
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Lawyer out of your life and ask your mate what could you do or
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What could you change to be a better husband and a
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Better wife.
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Now remember, the lawyer has been taken out of the question,
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You have to remember that, don't, "ooh, i didn't
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Know that."
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No-no-no, just listen, just listen and you will run into
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Some weeds because your wife, your husband knows more about
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You and more about me, and really, in marriage, if it works
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At all, there's no place to hide.
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You know, all the phoniness is there, all the pretense is
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There, reality is there, that's the way it is.
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Marriage is a mirror in which are forced to look at yourself
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All the time.
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It can be beneficial and helpful, but you wanna do
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Some weeding?
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Go ask your partner, "what would you like to change about me?
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Where am i not getting it?"
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And you may run into some weeds that have been there for a long
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Time that's keeping that marriage from singing.
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I like a marriage that sings, a marriage that when you get
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Together you are thrilled and when you're apart you can't wait
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To get back together again.
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I had a marriage like that for 58 years, i've got a marriage
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Like that two years now in december.
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Let me tell you something, folks.
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This isn't just preacher stuff, this is reality.
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So we gotta do some weeding, some have more weeding to do
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Than others, and if your mate doesn't tell you about those
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Weeds spend a little time with god and listen to him and he'll
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Tell you some things you need to pull up and kill and root out of
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Your life.
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You say, "it's too late."
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No, it's not, are you still breathing?
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Everybody breathing?
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Anybody stop breathing?
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Oh, we're all breathing, it's not too late, god works,
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God heals.
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So in marriage you gotta always be weeding and you got to always
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Be planting, you can't just clear out of space, you
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Gotta plant-plant-plant.
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And on that plant you have a little tripod there, what do
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You plant?
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I thought about sat scores.
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What is your sat score in marriage?
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Husband and wife.
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The s, i think, would stand for sensitivity.
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Are you sensitive to your marriage partner?
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Are you sensitive, tuned in, alert?
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Are you sensitive?
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That's the s. are you attentive?
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Hello?
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Are you attentive to him, attentive to her?
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If you're sensitive, the follow-through is be attentive.
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And then, are you trustworthy?
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Are you a man or woman that can be trusted all times,
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All places?
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See, that's the tripod upon which planting must be there.
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"well, i'm just not like that, i'm not geared like," yes,
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You are.
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God works miracles when we're born again, he works miracles
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When we die and we graduate finally into that which we
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Already have, and he'll work a miracle in your marriage if a
00:16:31.246 --> 00:16:35.284
Lot of people would wake up, look up.
00:16:35.284 --> 00:16:41.323
Marriages that are successful, exciting, creative in everything
00:16:41.323 --> 00:16:46.361
You can imagine, their marriage, where there is weeding and where
00:16:46.361 --> 00:16:50.933
There is planting.
00:16:50.933 --> 00:16:52.835
You weed and you plant and you weed and you plant, and you wake
00:16:52.835 --> 00:16:58.040
Up one day and say, "i am amazed what god is doing in my life."
00:16:58.040 --> 00:17:06.014
So marriage is horizontal but marriage also is vertical,
00:17:06.014 --> 00:17:11.420
It's vertical.
00:17:11.420 --> 00:17:12.754
Let me say something, listen carefully to what i'm saying.
00:17:12.754 --> 00:17:19.695
If you do not pray with your wife, your husband, that is as
00:17:19.695 --> 00:17:27.002
Serious if you decide not to sleep with your wife or
00:17:27.002 --> 00:17:30.672
Your husband.
00:17:30.672 --> 00:17:32.674
Did you hear what i said?
00:17:32.674 --> 00:17:36.044
If you do not pray with your wife or your husband, that is at
00:17:36.044 --> 00:17:39.882
Least as serious as if you decide, "i'm not going to sleep
00:17:39.882 --> 00:17:43.485
With my wife or my husband."
00:17:43.485 --> 00:17:46.188
Why is that?
00:17:46.188 --> 00:17:48.257
Because a little bit of prayer with god and listening to god
00:17:48.257 --> 00:17:52.194
Together, if you've been a jerk, if you've been greedy, if you
00:17:52.194 --> 00:17:59.101
Hold grudges, if you've brought back some old problem that
00:17:59.101 --> 00:18:02.538
Happened way back here, listen, you can't really pray.
00:18:02.538 --> 00:18:06.975
Remember when you get naked and not ashamed?
00:18:06.975 --> 00:18:09.711
When we pray, we get naked before god.
00:18:09.711 --> 00:18:11.980
If you don't, he knows anyway.
00:18:11.980 --> 00:18:15.651
So when you pray together, exciting things happen,
00:18:15.651 --> 00:18:19.488
Wonderful things happen, all the phoniness, all the masks go away
00:18:19.488 --> 00:18:24.726
When you really go to the lord god and say, "lord, i've got
00:18:24.726 --> 00:18:27.896
This and that and the other."
00:18:27.896 --> 00:18:29.331
Man, it is magnificent.
00:18:29.331 --> 00:18:32.801
So there's horizontal, we weed and we plant, we weed and we
00:18:32.801 --> 00:18:36.572
Plant, and there's vertical, that's when we go to him and
00:18:36.572 --> 00:18:40.709
We pray.
00:18:40.709 --> 00:18:42.077
And in the process what begins to happen to men and women
00:18:42.077 --> 00:18:45.214
In marriage?
00:18:45.214 --> 00:18:46.548
They begin to unconditionally love each other as god
00:18:46.548 --> 00:18:50.986
Unconditionally, god loves every one of us regardless of anything
00:18:50.986 --> 00:18:55.624
We've done or will do or have done.
00:18:55.624 --> 00:18:57.726
His love is permanent and it does not change, it does not
00:18:57.726 --> 00:19:01.129
Vary, he just, in every situation, loves us.
00:19:01.129 --> 00:19:05.968
We get to that point with our mate, we just love them, because
00:19:05.968 --> 00:19:10.606
We are honest with god and honest with one another and
00:19:10.606 --> 00:19:14.676
There's weeding and there's planting and there's
00:19:14.676 --> 00:19:17.112
Praying together.
00:19:17.112 --> 00:19:18.447
And wonderful things happen and we realize we're going up that
00:19:18.447 --> 00:19:22.284
Triangle, we're becoming more and more literally one, we are
00:19:22.284 --> 00:19:27.689
One, but we're discovering what that oneness is all about and
00:19:27.689 --> 00:19:31.593
How magnificent it is.
00:19:31.593 --> 00:19:34.496
Paul says, ephesians 5, that, "nobody hates a part of their
00:19:34.496 --> 00:19:38.600
Body," you don't hate your body.
00:19:38.600 --> 00:19:41.403
The second great commandment, "love the lord thy god with all
00:19:41.403 --> 00:19:43.872
Of our heart, soul, mind, body, love your neighbor."
00:19:43.872 --> 00:19:46.208
Who is your closest neighbor?
00:19:46.208 --> 00:19:47.576
It's your mate, it's your spouse, "love your neighbor as
00:19:47.576 --> 00:19:50.946
You love yourself."
00:19:50.946 --> 00:19:52.281
Paul says nobody hates themselves, and therefore we're
00:19:52.281 --> 00:19:56.652
To love them because they're a part of us, we are one.
00:19:56.652 --> 00:20:01.757
I ran into a word that i did not know a couple of weeks ago,
00:20:01.757 --> 00:20:07.763
Emulsion, emulsion, i didn't know the meaning of that word.
00:20:07.763 --> 00:20:14.102
Now be careful, how many know the meaning of that word?
00:20:14.102 --> 00:20:17.739
Would you lift your hand and hold it there?
00:20:17.739 --> 00:20:20.609
If you know what emulsion, i didn't know, maybe you do, lift
00:20:20.609 --> 00:20:23.245
Your hand, hold it there if you know what emulsion means.
00:20:23.245 --> 00:20:27.282
Little, timid hand, way, hold it way up, if you know what
00:20:27.282 --> 00:20:29.751
Emulsion means, lift your hand.
00:20:29.751 --> 00:20:33.055
Now, a lot of the wives know that it's sort of a cooking
00:20:33.055 --> 00:20:35.691
Word, i have discovered that, emulsion is a beautiful word.
00:20:35.691 --> 00:20:43.598
Emulsion, well, i'll give an illustration: if you have oil
00:20:43.598 --> 00:20:51.340
And you have vinegar, and you mix them together and you shake
00:20:51.340 --> 00:20:55.777
Them hard enough, there is emulsion there.
00:20:55.777 --> 00:21:00.415
But what happens when the shaking stops?
00:21:00.415 --> 00:21:03.352
It begins to separate again, doesn't it?
00:21:03.352 --> 00:21:07.522
You see, oil, primarily, is fat, doesn't have any taste.
00:21:07.522 --> 00:21:13.028
Vinegar is an acidity type solution and it has a strong,
00:21:13.028 --> 00:21:17.833
Sharp taste.
00:21:17.833 --> 00:21:19.534
But you mix them together, you have oil and vinegar, and man,
00:21:19.534 --> 00:21:22.938
That's a pretty good thing, emulsion takes place, but if
00:21:22.938 --> 00:21:27.409
Cold comes, immediately they divide; if hot comes, just
00:21:27.409 --> 00:21:34.383
Almost immediately they divide.
00:21:34.383 --> 00:21:36.885
What a beautiful picture of marriage, of oneness.
00:21:36.885 --> 00:21:40.989
We come together, there's emulsion, but let some conflict
00:21:40.989 --> 00:21:46.261
Come, a little heat come, we begin to step away.
00:21:46.261 --> 00:21:51.566
Let some coldness come, ooh, we begin to divide.
00:21:51.566 --> 00:21:57.406
So what keeps emulsion there?
00:21:57.406 --> 00:22:01.777
We know that these are molecules that are opposite ends of the
00:22:01.777 --> 00:22:06.348
Pole and what is it that takes those molecules, what are the
00:22:06.348 --> 00:22:11.153
Hands that are used to bring emulsion together so that the
00:22:11.153 --> 00:22:15.457
Oil and vinegar stay together?
00:22:15.457 --> 00:22:17.526
Because you go to the grocery store and there's oil and
00:22:17.526 --> 00:22:20.462
Vinegar and it's not divided.
00:22:20.462 --> 00:22:22.464
What happened?
00:22:22.464 --> 00:22:24.299
Why is it different when we mix oil and vinegar?
00:22:24.299 --> 00:22:26.301
What's happened?
00:22:26.301 --> 00:22:27.636
Emulsion, and why is that oil and vinegar staying together?
00:22:27.636 --> 00:22:32.874
It's because there is a stabilizer that's added.
00:22:32.874 --> 00:22:37.479
Ah, added stabilizer.
00:22:37.479 --> 00:22:40.315
And that stabilizer, it just brings those different molecules
00:22:40.315 --> 00:22:46.421
From different polls, polar opposites together like a man
00:22:46.421 --> 00:22:49.191
And a woman, and brings them together and that stabilizer
00:22:49.191 --> 00:22:53.395
Keeps them as one.
00:22:53.395 --> 00:22:59.901
If you don't know you'll never guess what that stabilizer
00:22:59.901 --> 00:23:07.309
Normally is.
00:23:07.309 --> 00:23:10.745
In marriage, it's the lord jesus christ, ladies and gentlemen, it
00:23:10.745 --> 00:23:17.185
Is the lord jesus christ that takes these two polar opposites,
00:23:17.185 --> 00:23:21.089
Male and female, and brings them together in his principles, and
00:23:21.089 --> 00:23:24.860
That vertical relationship, that horizontal relationship, that
00:23:24.860 --> 00:23:28.296
Oneness is sealed together by god in jesus christ.
00:23:28.296 --> 00:23:31.900
And we seek to live together according to his principles,
00:23:31.900 --> 00:23:35.203
Where there's plenty of forgiveness, there's plenty of
00:23:35.203 --> 00:23:37.706
Loving, there's plenty of opportunity to really celebrate
00:23:37.706 --> 00:23:41.810
The sacred gift of marriage.
00:23:41.810 --> 00:23:43.445
The stabilizer is jesus.
00:23:43.445 --> 00:23:46.147
What is the stabilizer with oil and vinegar?
00:23:46.147 --> 00:23:54.222
Honey.
00:23:54.222 --> 00:23:56.391
Honey, is that terrific?
00:23:56.391 --> 00:24:00.529
Remember i told you your marriage can just stay there and
00:24:00.529 --> 00:24:05.767
You can have a bad marriage?
00:24:05.767 --> 00:24:07.903
You know, the marriage that's okay, sometimes good, sometimes
00:24:07.903 --> 00:24:12.240
Bad, we're just hanging on.
00:24:12.240 --> 00:24:16.011
Or you can have a marriage that is a perpetual honeymoon.
00:24:16.011 --> 00:24:27.022
Jesus christ keeps that oneness, that emulsion there.
00:24:31.059 --> 00:24:37.766
In marriage, therefore, in a human sense, is the most
00:24:37.766 --> 00:24:41.603
Fulfilling, meaningful and exciting gift that god has given
00:24:41.603 --> 00:24:49.844
To humanity.
00:24:49.844 --> 00:24:52.347
Female: we have the promise that god
00:24:52.347 --> 00:24:53.848
Will direct all our paths.
00:24:53.848 --> 00:24:55.884
Male: plus the guarantee of a long life.
00:24:55.884 --> 00:24:57.953
Female: the assurance of our family's protection.
00:24:57.953 --> 00:25:00.255
Male: the promise of creative wisdom.
00:25:00.255 --> 00:25:01.790
Female: and he will never leave us or forsake us.
00:25:01.790 --> 00:25:05.060
Male announcer: the promises of god are available
00:25:05.060 --> 00:25:06.561
For all believers in christ.
00:25:06.561 --> 00:25:08.830
Each day is an opportunity to live in the fullness of what
00:25:08.830 --> 00:25:11.333
He's already pledged to us in his word.
00:25:11.333 --> 00:25:13.935
Now in this beautiful hard-bound edition,
00:25:13.935 --> 00:25:16.504
Dr. young shares a full year of inspirational thoughts with a
00:25:16.504 --> 00:25:19.841
Daily promise from god's word.
00:25:19.841 --> 00:25:22.344
In a few minutes each day, you'll see just how much god has
00:25:22.344 --> 00:25:25.413
Already provided for you and your family.
00:25:25.413 --> 00:25:28.516
It's a wonderful book of encouragement for you,
00:25:28.516 --> 00:25:30.986
Or the perfect gift for someone else.
00:25:30.986 --> 00:25:33.622
To get your copy, call the number on your screen,
00:25:33.622 --> 00:25:36.091
Or go online at winningwalk.org.
00:25:36.091 --> 00:25:38.960
It's our gift to you for your financial
00:25:38.960 --> 00:25:40.729
Support of this ministry.
00:25:40.729 --> 00:25:42.931
Live each day to its fullest, standing on the
00:25:42.931 --> 00:25:45.967
Promises of god's word.
00:25:45.967 --> 00:25:48.236
♪♪♪
00:25:50.572 --> 00:26:07.989
Ed young: in today's message, we learned that god uses marriage
00:25:59.581 --> 00:26:11.026
As a mirror.
00:26:11.026 --> 00:26:12.360
Our mates know more about us than anyone else so they can
00:26:12.360 --> 00:26:16.631
Force us to look at ourselves and see what needs to change.
00:26:16.631 --> 00:26:20.869
God also uses his word as a mirror; the bible doesn't just
00:26:20.869 --> 00:26:25.040
Show us who we are, it leads us to a transforming experience.
00:26:25.040 --> 00:26:30.045
You see, the secret of a joy-filled relationship with god
00:26:30.045 --> 00:26:34.716
Is not only hearing his word, but then, putting it into
00:26:34.716 --> 00:26:38.353
Your heart.
00:26:38.353 --> 00:26:39.688
My suggestion, don't just glance in the mirror god has placed
00:26:39.688 --> 00:26:43.992
Before you, take a good long look, then ask him what he wants
00:26:43.992 --> 00:26:49.197
You to see.
00:26:49.197 --> 00:26:50.732
If you would like to know more about the steps you can take in
00:26:50.732 --> 00:26:53.635
Your growing relationship with your spouse and with the lord,
00:26:53.635 --> 00:26:57.472
Please take a moment to call the number on your screen.
00:26:57.472 --> 00:27:00.675
We'd love to speak with you and to pray with you.
00:27:00.675 --> 00:27:03.411
And let me say personally, thank you for watching.
00:27:03.411 --> 00:27:06.614
Join us next time right here on the "winning walk" with
00:27:06.614 --> 00:27:11.453
Jesus christ.
00:27:11.453 --> 00:27:13.354
♪♪♪
00:27:13.354 --> 00:27:13.354

Ed Young - Unifying Marriage

February 23, 2025 | 27:29

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