Better Together

A Family Shaped by Love | Better Together Episode 1136

January 26, 2026 | S8 E1136 | 51:1

By birth or by choice, family is God's design! He intends for us to see His reflection in our closest loved ones. When His love is the foundation for your home, even the most sensitive hearts find safety, and relationships flourish! | TBN Prayer Line: 714-731-1000

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Better Together | A Family Shaped by Love | Better Together Episode 1136 | January 26, 2026

A loving family is a gift from god.
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Our experiences with family, good and bad, often shape how
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We see our heavenly father.
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But god's purpose for family is a reflection of his love
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Right here on earth.
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Come on, let's talk about it.
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♪♪
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I love talking about family.
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I always think back to it was always in god's design.
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You know, he even said it's not okay.
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That man be alone.
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He brought woman and that made family.
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And god's heart is for the family.
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I love today we're really talking about how love shapes
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Our family and ultimately, how god's love has shaped
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Each of our lives.
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So when i was praying about leading the program today, and
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I was thinking about love and how my life was shaped by my
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Family and by love, and i started thinking about, okay,
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God, show me all the ways that my life was shaped by love
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In my family.
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And of course, i was thinking like, okay, was it all these
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Trips that we took?
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I grew up in a, i grew up in a middle class family.
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My parents were both educators and they did great.
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We actually went on a lot of vacations.
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We went skiing every year, and they showed us lots of places
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Around the continental us.
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And but i was like, that's not landing.
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That's just not it.
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And i really started thinking, you know what?
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For me personally, my story is that i came from a home where
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My mom and dad both loved jesus, and we were very
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Involved in church.
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In fact, my mom worked for a church, and so my earliest
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Memories are like i knew every
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Nook and cranny of that church building.
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I would play hide and go seek in it, like i--
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I probably loved the church before i even loved god.
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Like i just loved being in that building.
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And my dad was a deacon and talking about god and and
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Understanding that church is what we do,
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And god's people are who we love,
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And all of that was very normal to me.
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And so for me, when i think back how love shaped my life,
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It was in those moments of consistency.
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I felt so safe as a child
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Because my parents were so consistent.
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I knew, i mean, even to the point where, coming home from
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Sunday there was a roast in the oven.
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I would lay on the sofa.
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I'd read the parade part of the newspaper, the parade
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And the family circus. like this was--
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And then we would all nap.
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I think for me, whenever i think about, you know, i
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Understand that some people may not have the same story and
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They may be listening this week, and they may not have
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That same filter for how they saw love.
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But for me, it was easy to naturally kind of see god as a
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Consistent, kind, loving father because i had that growing up
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In my mom and dad.
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And as a parent, now i have three grown children, but i
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Feel like so much of that transferred in how i wanted
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Them to feel in my home.
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I wanted my home to be a place that was consistent and safe
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And peaceful and joyful.
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And so it's interesting when we're talking about family.
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And i'm so thinking about maybe the single mom watching
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This week or i'm thinking about the child, maybe even watching
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The young adult who grew up in a broken home and how they
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Think about god maybe was formed by the family and the
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Home they grew up in, and that
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Might be a really positive experience
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Like i feel like i had, even
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Though by no means was my home perfect.
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I mean, we're all human.
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And my parents were, they were first time--
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I mean, they'd never been humans before either.
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So they were having their first human experience.
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And so i always think about that when i think about
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How hard i am on--
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When i was hard on my mom, i'm
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Like, she'd never been a mom before.
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This is her first experience. because i always want that
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Grace now as a mom with my kids.
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And i'm like, did i give that same grace to my mom?
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No. no, probably not.
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But it's that idea that i do believe we can take the
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Experiences we had growing up, and we can think about that,
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And it forms our thoughts about god.
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And so this week, i'm really hoping that someone watches.
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And if they have had a broken connection with god, or if
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They've had a misunderstanding about his love for them,
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That these programs would help heal that part of their heart
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Because where we come from and the family that shaped us does
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Matter, but also the encouragement there is, you can
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Be the one to shape your family now.
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You can be that first generation of showing god's
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Love to your children in a way
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That maybe you didn't experience.
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So my parents showed me the ultimate unconditional love.
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So i had that experience in my life.
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I know a lot of people don't, but i'm telling you, as much as
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A father and a mother love you, the love of god is so much
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Greater than that.
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And oftentimes i think about my
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Own kids. as much as i love them,
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God said that that's like nothing compared to the love
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That i have for you.
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And he loves you just that much.
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I'm curious as we're talking about how love shaped us and
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The families we came from,
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What was your experience growing up in your families,
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And how would you say that that shaped your your life?
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Well, my mom was a single mom.
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You know, after my dad died, she was 33 and she had three
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Children under seven, and she never remarried.
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But there was something about just who she was as a person.
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You know, she was just so kind of, my picture of her is her
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Sitting on the green chair by the fire, and beside her
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She had her bible.
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And i think of the wisdom that i gathered, even though we
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Didn't have my dad around.
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That's when i grew to love the church, because we were a small
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Church in a fishing town in scotland, and i had so many
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Aunts and uncles i now realize were not my aunts and uncles,
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But they were the people that moved in.
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You know, like if something needed a man to do something
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Around the house, my uncle jim would come over or my uncle
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Hugh would come over, and they were simply parts of the body
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Of christ who understood what it is to be there for a widow
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And to be there for their children.
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I think even though we had a very limited income, i never
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Felt poor growing up because we were surrounded by people who
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Just included us and made us feel like we were part of
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A bigger family. yeah.
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Now you've experienced what that is like,
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So i'm interested.
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Well, i was your mom.
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I mean, i was the 31 year old widow with two little kids and
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Trying to do it.
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And i think for me, blynda, honestly, like, who shaped my
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View of love growing up was a lot my parents, who were both
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Educators as well.
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And i think what i learned was sacrifice.
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They sacrificed for my sister and i.
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And the other thing is that my
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Grandparents had such an impact.
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And so i will say to any grandparent who's listening,
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You will never know the impact of your life and your story.
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And i always, it makes me sad when i meet people who didn't
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Know their grandparents because i'm just like, oh, they were--
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I spent the night with my grandparents every friday night
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So my parents could have a date night, which i didn't even know
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That was like a thing.
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I mean, you know, they didn't call it that.
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They were just having their time, right?
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And so my grandparents-- and honestly, like when i think of
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Father god, i always think of my granddaddy.
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It kind of skipped a generation.
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My dad was just nose to the grind.
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He was in the military and he was a teacher.
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And, you know, he was busy trying to provide and sacrifice
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So his kids could have what he didn't have.
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And so, man, i was shaped by love, though, by those four
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Sets of extra parents.
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And i will say, you know, there's a book about
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The happiest families,
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And one of those secrets is, is grandparents, which y'all are
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Doing right now.
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I mean, laurie, you're-- it's the best ever.
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The best. but it's a big deal.
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I mean, family, you know.
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I mean, i grew up thinking that was normal.
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And i realize now that it's not normal, but i do think--
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I mean, even in timothy it talks about that.
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He was really-- i mean, obviously he had parents who
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Loved the lord, you know, that
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Were growing him in things of god.
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But it says lois, his grandmother, and eunice, his
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Mom, were the ones that really, really taught him the precepts
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And the understandings of god.
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So that is so important. i love that.
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Having become a grandmother recently myself, i love the
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Thought that there is special purpose in grandparenting.
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And i look at my sweet little callaway grandson, and i just
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Think, you know, there is something really special,
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Obviously, that god did to have his parents, my daughter and my
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Son-in-law be his mom and dad.
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But with that special blessing comes the gift that i get
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To be his grandmother.
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And i think back in timothy, when we hear about lois,
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Timothy's grandmother, and how she imparted the word of god
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Into him, and she prayed for him.
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And i think we have the same opportunity as grandparents to
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Recognize that this is another legacy part of our generation
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That is going to be going on long after we are gone.
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And so we get the small opportunity while we're still
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On earth, to impart into them god's truth, god's wisdom.
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We get to pray for them.
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We get to believe for big things for them.
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We get to steer them in the direction of the lord.
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We don't have the responsibility like the parents
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Do, but we get to offer love freely.
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We get to love them unconditionally.
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We get to care for them.
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We even get to be really fun for them.
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I know it's we always hear that grandparenting is even more fun
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Than parenting, because the responsibility of
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Raising them is not on us.
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And so we get to kind of relax and really enjoy it.
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And so i can't even speak too much into what that looks like,
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Because he's an infant and was just born.
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But i know that i am so full of joy for the opportunity that's
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Before me and my husband to be grandparents and to instill in
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Them all the truth that the lord has shown us into
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These little hearts.
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There's a freedom with grandparenting that i don't
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Think my parents really could feel because they were working.
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I mean, my mom was a teacher, and then she would have to come
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Home and basically tutor my sister.
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And i remember them sitting till 9 p.m., and then she would
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Grade papers after that.
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I mean, hard work shaped me and, you know, and then that
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Sacrifice, it's like there is nothing, not a thing i wouldn't
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Do for my kids.
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I think it's shocking to me a lot of how many
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Grandparents are raising their grandchildren--
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Yes.
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In these days, and the importance of that.
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But my mom and dad were pastors and the church was our family's
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Ministry, and my parents
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Integrated us into that responsibility.
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From when we were little, i mean, we sang.
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I stood on the piano bench and
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Sang my little lungs out for a years.
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You know, funerals and weddings,
00:11:23.773 --> 00:11:25.407
It was always the orndorffs
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That came in and did everything.
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My mom played the organ, and but then i had my grandparents
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As well, and on both sides.
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And the i mean, i'm sitting here probably because of my
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Grandma, you know, and that story.
00:11:38.788 --> 00:11:41.857
But i think about all the, all the changes in the last years,
00:11:41.857 --> 00:11:45.594
How the family has been tried to just be destroyed.
00:11:45.594 --> 00:11:49.165
So this week, i know that people are going to glean a lot
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From the stories and just give hope.
00:11:52.768 --> 00:11:55.604
Give hope in life to brokenness and to bitterness and to all
00:11:55.604 --> 00:12:00.242
Those things and how we can get past that.
00:12:00.242 --> 00:12:02.444
You know, when jesus died on the cross for us and shed his
00:12:02.444 --> 00:12:06.182
Blood, and then he said, it is finished,
00:12:06.182 --> 00:12:08.350
He took all the excuses away.
00:12:08.350 --> 00:12:10.386
And now we get to live free in jesus, where he comes in and he
00:12:10.386 --> 00:12:16.025
Transforms us, right, from the inside out.
00:12:16.025 --> 00:12:18.561
God is the mender of the brokenhearted, and he is the
00:12:18.561 --> 00:12:21.764
Restorer, and he is the redeemer, and he is the healer.
00:12:21.764 --> 00:12:25.134
But the brokenness in the world today, there is a cross that we
00:12:25.134 --> 00:12:31.507
Can all run to, but going through life is a challenge.
00:12:31.507 --> 00:12:36.779
I think those those challenges, all the trials, all the
00:12:36.779 --> 00:12:40.683
Tribulation, all the things that jesus said that we would
00:12:40.683 --> 00:12:43.586
Have in this earth are everything that builds the
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Character, right, and makes us more like him.
00:12:46.555 --> 00:12:50.159
I think we tend to think of evangelism as going out in the
00:12:50.159 --> 00:12:53.495
Street somewhere and talking to people or giving out leaflets
00:12:53.495 --> 00:12:56.165
Or, you know, speaking from a platform or stage.
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I don't think so.
00:12:58.968 --> 00:13:00.269
I think our lives are called to be the fragrance of christ and
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Our culture, and even just the way that we respect one another
00:13:04.273 --> 00:13:07.610
Within our family, that we love our husbands and our wives, the
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Way that we take care of our children, the way that we reach
00:13:10.379 --> 00:13:12.915
Out to other people,
00:13:12.915 --> 00:13:14.383
To me, all of that speaks about the kingdom of god, and it's a
00:13:14.383 --> 00:13:17.653
Way that we can share his love with other people.
00:13:17.653 --> 00:13:20.656
First, peter, i think it's chapter five says, always be
00:13:20.656 --> 00:13:23.392
Ready to give a reason for the hope that is within you.
00:13:23.392 --> 00:13:26.996
So that makes me think we're supposed to live a life
00:13:26.996 --> 00:13:29.198
That raises questions.
00:13:29.198 --> 00:13:31.834
As we share about family and unconditional love,
00:13:31.834 --> 00:13:35.537
I hear stories from generations past in my family of how great
00:13:35.537 --> 00:13:41.043
Grandma forgave or loved
00:13:41.043 --> 00:13:43.479
Anyway, some of my great uncles that were just
00:13:43.479 --> 00:13:48.150
Trouble, you know.
00:13:48.150 --> 00:13:49.952
And the unconditional love that runs through as this beautiful
00:13:49.952 --> 00:13:54.056
Thread, through history of just forgiveness and grace and that
00:13:54.056 --> 00:13:59.061
Unconditional love that came in and when it felt like i have
00:13:59.061 --> 00:14:04.400
Blown my life up right now--
00:14:04.400 --> 00:14:06.168
You know, as a teenager, those stupid little choices or things
00:14:06.168 --> 00:14:09.638
That we go through that seem like it's just earth
00:14:09.638 --> 00:14:12.441
Shattering, that solid and that consistency from a mom and dad
00:14:12.441 --> 00:14:16.545
Or from grandparents that say, you know what?
00:14:16.545 --> 00:14:18.881
You're going to be okay.
00:14:18.881 --> 00:14:20.115
You're just going to be better for this.
00:14:20.115 --> 00:14:21.650
This is what makes you grow.
00:14:21.650 --> 00:14:23.018
This is what changes your life and makes you focus on the
00:14:23.018 --> 00:14:27.122
Things of god and the faithfulness,
00:14:27.122 --> 00:14:31.060
His faithfulness through all
00:14:31.060 --> 00:14:32.261
The generations, which is just beautiful.
00:14:32.261 --> 00:14:35.931
You know, talk is cheap with your kids.
00:14:35.931 --> 00:14:38.467
We can tell them all day long how much we love them, but if
00:14:38.467 --> 00:14:41.904
We don't show it-- that's what
00:14:41.904 --> 00:14:44.073
God wants to see through our lives
00:14:44.073 --> 00:14:45.574
Is that love and that grace and our kids need to know that.
00:14:45.574 --> 00:14:49.778
And a lot of you grandmothers out there, sometimes you're the
00:14:49.778 --> 00:14:52.147
Only ones that can show,
00:14:52.147 --> 00:14:53.782
You're the only ones that do show the love of christ.
00:14:53.782 --> 00:14:56.418
And i love you for that.
00:14:56.418 --> 00:14:57.553
I love you for sharing god's love with your children
00:14:57.553 --> 00:15:00.255
And your grandkids.
00:15:00.255 --> 00:15:01.790
It's all so important.
00:15:01.790 --> 00:15:06.996
What legacy of love that i love
00:15:10.099 --> 00:15:12.067
To leave to the next generation?
00:15:12.067 --> 00:15:13.969
It's such a sweet question
00:15:13.969 --> 00:15:15.337
Because i just became a grandmother.
00:15:15.337 --> 00:15:17.172
So it's really i'm thinking about that next generation,
00:15:17.172 --> 00:15:20.542
Um, even after my own kids.
00:15:20.542 --> 00:15:22.811
And it would be that they didn't just see me talk about
00:15:22.811 --> 00:15:26.882
The lord and the things about god, but they saw me live it,
00:15:26.882 --> 00:15:30.619
That they understood that they were prayed for, that they
00:15:30.619 --> 00:15:33.989
Weren't just people in my life, but they were people i invested
00:15:33.989 --> 00:15:38.093
Spiritually into, and that they would also know that god is
00:15:38.093 --> 00:15:43.198
Real and that he has purpose for us.
00:15:43.198 --> 00:15:46.135
And so my desire would be that the legacy that i leave them is
00:15:46.135 --> 00:15:50.939
That when they would think of
00:15:50.939 --> 00:15:52.041
Me, they would know my grandmother,
00:15:52.041 --> 00:15:54.676
She prayed for me,
00:15:54.676 --> 00:15:56.111
She led me to things of god, and she always had faith that
00:15:56.111 --> 00:16:00.315
He would come through for her.
00:16:00.315 --> 00:16:02.684
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00:16:02.684 --> 00:16:04.253
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00:16:04.253 --> 00:16:06.255
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00:16:06.255 --> 00:16:07.623
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You know, i think for me, god's heart for family is
00:16:28.745 --> 00:16:32.482
Revealed through scripture
00:16:32.482 --> 00:16:34.384
When he created adam and eve. he was like, it's--
00:16:34.384 --> 00:16:38.555
Don't leave me alone.
00:16:38.555 --> 00:16:40.457
I need to be in a family.
00:16:40.457 --> 00:16:42.392
And then he said, be fruitful and multiply.
00:16:42.392 --> 00:16:44.527
And i think for me, nothing says i love family more than
00:16:44.527 --> 00:16:47.931
Seeing father, son, holy spirit
00:16:47.931 --> 00:16:49.899
And that he created adam and eve.
00:16:49.899 --> 00:16:51.734
And to me it just says, i think it's really important that you
00:16:51.734 --> 00:16:55.505
Have someone else and i'm going to set you in a family, and
00:16:55.505 --> 00:17:00.310
That is his heart for us, to set us
00:17:00.310 --> 00:17:02.445
In family. the lonely need of family.
00:17:02.445 --> 00:17:07.117
Like when i think of my mom.
00:17:10.153 --> 00:17:11.421
And i think of the things she went through, the struggles,
00:17:11.421 --> 00:17:14.591
And yet the faith she had in the midst of the struggles, i
00:17:14.591 --> 00:17:17.260
Think that set me up in a way a, to understand the life is not
00:17:17.260 --> 00:17:20.530
Always going to go the way you want it to,
00:17:20.530 --> 00:17:22.532
You know, that there are
00:17:22.532 --> 00:17:23.366
Surprises to us, but not to god.
00:17:23.366 --> 00:17:25.735
She would always say that to me.
00:17:25.735 --> 00:17:27.270
Um, no, i didn't see that coming.
00:17:27.270 --> 00:17:28.972
But god did.
00:17:28.972 --> 00:17:29.973
Yeah, and that was a huge thing.
00:17:29.973 --> 00:17:32.642
And honestly, it prepared me for when i then had in-laws
00:17:32.642 --> 00:17:36.746
Because i had a totally
00:17:36.746 --> 00:17:37.914
Different experience with my in--
00:17:37.914 --> 00:17:42.285
With my in-laws. like, barry's an only child, and they tried
00:17:42.285 --> 00:17:46.022
For 12 years to have a child and eventually had him.
00:17:46.022 --> 00:17:48.625
So he was just--
00:17:48.625 --> 00:17:50.293
Spoiled. spoiled and loved.
00:17:50.293 --> 00:17:52.395
And my father-in-law, william was just darling.
00:17:52.395 --> 00:17:55.198
He was just a lovely, sweet character.
00:17:55.198 --> 00:17:58.501
But my mother-in-law had a hard time with me because i was this
00:17:58.501 --> 00:18:01.137
Other woman in her son's, precious son's life.
00:18:01.137 --> 00:18:04.207
And you know, i tried so hard to do all the things i knew to
00:18:04.207 --> 00:18:08.578
Do, but the things i knew to do did not work because she just
00:18:08.578 --> 00:18:12.248
Had this wall up until she got
00:18:12.248 --> 00:18:15.018
Cancer, until she got liver cancer.
00:18:15.018 --> 00:18:17.520
And i got to be the one to nurse her through the last
00:18:17.520 --> 00:18:20.523
Four weeks of her life.
00:18:20.523 --> 00:18:22.358
And it was actually i mean, it was such a gift because i
00:18:22.358 --> 00:18:25.995
Remember one night i had given her, like, a little bit of
00:18:25.995 --> 00:18:28.965
Morphine, enough to help her sleep through the night, but
00:18:28.965 --> 00:18:30.900
Not enough to, because sometimes that can give you
00:18:30.900 --> 00:18:33.269
Horrible hallucinations.
00:18:33.269 --> 00:18:34.871
And the hospice people worked
00:18:34.871 --> 00:18:36.105
With me to help me monitor that.
00:18:36.105 --> 00:18:38.174
And she sat up one night and she said, you know, if this
00:18:38.174 --> 00:18:41.344
Was you, god would have healed you.
00:18:41.344 --> 00:18:43.646
Wow.
00:18:43.646 --> 00:18:44.581
And i was like, mom, what do you mean?
00:18:44.581 --> 00:18:45.748
She said, well, you know,
00:18:45.748 --> 00:18:46.916
I've made some bad decisions in my life.
00:18:46.916 --> 00:18:48.818
And she said, i know i
00:18:48.818 --> 00:18:50.253
Haven't made life very easy for you.
00:18:50.253 --> 00:18:51.621
And i'm like, i'm sure i have no idea what you mean.
00:18:51.621 --> 00:18:53.389
I don't know what you-- really haven't noticed.
00:18:53.389 --> 00:18:57.093
But it was the most honest conversation we'd ever had.
00:18:57.093 --> 00:19:00.463
And by the time that she
00:19:00.463 --> 00:19:01.631
Actually passed, we were so close.
00:19:01.631 --> 00:19:03.666
Oh, wow.
00:19:03.666 --> 00:19:05.034
She told me everything that was going on in her life,
00:19:05.034 --> 00:19:06.703
All the things she thought, all the things she felt bad about.
00:19:06.703 --> 00:19:09.439
And i'll never forget one night, probably three in the
00:19:09.439 --> 00:19:11.975
Morning, she and i, in her bedroom, at home, in her
00:19:11.975 --> 00:19:15.078
Hospice bed, singing great is thy faithfulness.
00:19:15.078 --> 00:19:17.880
Wow.
00:19:17.880 --> 00:19:19.115
And i thought having a loving mother helped me to see a
00:19:19.115 --> 00:19:23.519
Mother who appeared not to be loving as a broken little girl
00:19:23.519 --> 00:19:26.522
Who just longed to be loved.
00:19:26.522 --> 00:19:28.891
And i think it is so important.
00:19:28.891 --> 00:19:30.126
I think we we are shaped by who knows what her story is.
00:19:30.126 --> 00:19:34.697
I wish we could hear what her story was because she was
00:19:34.697 --> 00:19:37.066
Shaped, and the way she knew to give love maybe was just the
00:19:37.066 --> 00:19:39.736
Only way she received love. exactly.
00:19:39.736 --> 00:19:41.537
And so it's the idea of how can we ask the lord to increase
00:19:41.537 --> 00:19:46.009
The love inside of us.
00:19:46.009 --> 00:19:47.510
I've always heard it said that love is the language of heaven.
00:19:47.510 --> 00:19:50.546
So when we give love to others,
00:19:50.546 --> 00:19:52.282
We give them a glimpse of heaven.
00:19:52.282 --> 00:19:54.484
How can we walk like that where we are offering our
00:19:54.484 --> 00:19:58.521
Unconditional love so that whatever broken pieces are in
00:19:58.521 --> 00:20:01.557
Them get healed on this side of heaven?
00:20:01.557 --> 00:20:05.094
I think all of us would love to think that we could give our
00:20:05.094 --> 00:20:07.897
Family a little glimpse of what it looks like to really be in
00:20:07.897 --> 00:20:11.200
Relationship with jesus, which means it's almost like a little
00:20:11.200 --> 00:20:14.137
Glimpse of heaven.
00:20:14.137 --> 00:20:15.138
And how do you do that?
00:20:15.138 --> 00:20:16.673
I think one of the ways that we do that is i think kindness is
00:20:16.673 --> 00:20:21.311
Underrated in our culture.
00:20:21.311 --> 00:20:23.212
I think there's something so
00:20:23.212 --> 00:20:24.414
Beautiful about kindness and grace.
00:20:24.414 --> 00:20:26.783
So often we use the word grace as believers, but we don't
00:20:26.783 --> 00:20:29.319
Often use the word kindness.
00:20:29.319 --> 00:20:30.853
I think when we can learn to show kindness, particularly
00:20:30.853 --> 00:20:33.956
When it's a difficult situation.
00:20:33.956 --> 00:20:36.292
Um, first corinthians 13 talks about what love looks like, but
00:20:36.292 --> 00:20:40.129
Then it tells us what it doesn't do.
00:20:40.129 --> 00:20:42.031
And it says love bears no record of wrongs.
00:20:42.031 --> 00:20:45.401
And there's something about that, about being able to
00:20:45.401 --> 00:20:48.037
Forgive and let go that will give people a little glimpse of
00:20:48.037 --> 00:20:51.341
What it's always going to be like one day.
00:20:51.341 --> 00:20:54.610
I've wondered about, um, even my dad passing back ten,
00:20:54.610 --> 00:20:58.815
11 years ago.
00:20:58.815 --> 00:21:00.183
I wish i could talk to him today.
00:21:00.183 --> 00:21:01.984
When you see broken parts, even of your of your parents--
00:21:01.984 --> 00:21:05.988
I think getting older, i think
00:21:05.988 --> 00:21:07.190
A lot of that just comes with maturity.
00:21:07.190 --> 00:21:09.125
Just to ask him some questions about his past.
00:21:09.125 --> 00:21:11.928
Oh yeah.
00:21:11.928 --> 00:21:13.162
Because it makes you feel, man, if i would have just had
00:21:13.162 --> 00:21:15.298
A little more grace.
00:21:15.298 --> 00:21:16.799
Um, you know, if we can catch that early of just having grace
00:21:16.799 --> 00:21:20.203
For people in your lives because we really don't know
00:21:20.203 --> 00:21:22.372
All that they walk through or the things that they--
00:21:22.372 --> 00:21:24.941
You know, what's your story about?
00:21:24.941 --> 00:21:27.043
What made you act like that or what caused that in you?
00:21:27.043 --> 00:21:31.581
You know, that you would pass down.
00:21:31.581 --> 00:21:33.049
So i think god's grace in our life can always be better.
00:21:33.049 --> 00:21:38.020
But you're right.
00:21:38.020 --> 00:21:39.455
I think when you get to like 50 or something, you wish you
00:21:39.455 --> 00:21:42.024
Could have a conversation with your mom when she was--
00:21:42.024 --> 00:21:44.160
When you were younger
00:21:44.160 --> 00:21:45.228
And she was-- because there's so many things
00:21:45.228 --> 00:21:47.063
Now i wish i'd asked my mom,
00:21:47.063 --> 00:21:48.965
But i just kind of took for granted.
00:21:48.965 --> 00:21:50.700
Like, you know, you're trusting god
00:21:50.700 --> 00:21:52.168
We're doing well, but i would love to know more of
00:21:52.168 --> 00:21:54.871
What her story was.
00:21:54.871 --> 00:21:56.339
Yeah, but-- doing the best that they can.
00:21:56.339 --> 00:21:59.142
Absolutely. absolutely. yeah.
00:21:59.142 --> 00:22:01.344
And i even remember, like, moving from california to texas
00:22:01.344 --> 00:22:04.881
For my family was a huge move when i was a kid.
00:22:04.881 --> 00:22:07.984
And i remember being so just upset with my parents, like,
00:22:07.984 --> 00:22:12.021
How could they move us to a whole new state?
00:22:12.021 --> 00:22:14.357
And i thought, everyone's going to ride horses, and there's
00:22:14.357 --> 00:22:16.492
Just going to be, you know, we're going to be living in a
00:22:16.492 --> 00:22:18.528
Western, you know, like, why would they do this to us?
00:22:18.528 --> 00:22:21.531
And what's so interesting when you say that, sheila, is as i've
00:22:21.531 --> 00:22:25.201
Gotten older and as i've had a family of my own, i start to
00:22:25.201 --> 00:22:28.304
Think of like, well, how old were my parents when we were
00:22:28.304 --> 00:22:31.908
Experiencing that?
00:22:31.908 --> 00:22:33.042
Or they had to make that difficult decision to uproot
00:22:33.042 --> 00:22:35.778
Their lives and move them here.
00:22:35.778 --> 00:22:38.014
And i think, man, i mean, they were probably human for the
00:22:38.014 --> 00:22:41.584
First time parents just trying to figure it out and say, what
00:22:41.584 --> 00:22:44.320
Are we doing?
00:22:44.320 --> 00:22:45.588
And and i will at times with my children, they'll get upset
00:22:45.588 --> 00:22:48.424
About something they're learning in school.
00:22:48.424 --> 00:22:50.593
You know, it's a really sweet time to learn new things.
00:22:50.593 --> 00:22:53.963
And i'm like, you've never been eight years old before.
00:22:53.963 --> 00:22:56.499
It's okay.
00:22:56.499 --> 00:22:57.400
Like, you're not supposed to know this.
00:22:57.400 --> 00:22:58.701
You're in school to learn it.
00:22:58.701 --> 00:22:59.902
And so i think when you extend that grace and you show
00:22:59.902 --> 00:23:02.905
People that love--
00:23:02.905 --> 00:23:04.173
We weren't surrounded by our grandparents physically here in
00:23:04.173 --> 00:23:07.743
Texas because they were in california still.
00:23:07.743 --> 00:23:10.279
But going back and seeing them, i could tell that, you know,
00:23:10.279 --> 00:23:13.649
The richness of having that multigenerational love of your
00:23:13.649 --> 00:23:16.819
Family does make such an impact.
00:23:16.819 --> 00:23:18.754
And i know what it's like to then have to live without it,
00:23:18.754 --> 00:23:21.924
Too, and, you know, kind of struggle through it.
00:23:21.924 --> 00:23:24.193
But i do think that we are so much more compassionate when we
00:23:24.193 --> 00:23:27.763
Consider where people have come from and what they've lived
00:23:27.763 --> 00:23:30.766
Through, and that we're able to show love more genuinely in
00:23:30.766 --> 00:23:34.070
Those moments.
00:23:34.070 --> 00:23:36.138
God has redeemed my definition for family with just showing me
00:23:36.138 --> 00:23:40.576
That it doesn't have to be perfect, that, you know, there
00:23:40.576 --> 00:23:43.579
Might be some messy parts to my family, and that's okay.
00:23:43.579 --> 00:23:46.682
That god can still use all the pieces and really tell a great
00:23:46.682 --> 00:23:50.319
Story and really create a
00:23:50.319 --> 00:23:51.687
Beautiful family that i have today.
00:23:51.687 --> 00:23:54.690
I have a lot of times look back and thought, okay, how old was
00:23:54.690 --> 00:23:58.160
My mom when they went through this?
00:23:58.160 --> 00:24:00.263
Yeah. when my parents were making that big, huge decision.
00:24:00.263 --> 00:24:04.333
Man, i'm my mom's age, you know, and you start, you start
00:24:04.333 --> 00:24:08.437
Thinking about stuff like that, and it's just true.
00:24:08.437 --> 00:24:11.507
You just kind of wish you could go back to that time
00:24:11.507 --> 00:24:14.176
And just be better.
00:24:14.176 --> 00:24:15.745
You know, as even a kid of the love for my parents, of the
00:24:15.745 --> 00:24:19.382
Decisions that they had to make and the choices and the dealing
00:24:19.382 --> 00:24:23.185
With and, you know, just think,
00:24:23.185 --> 00:24:25.087
Man, i'm that same age right now.
00:24:25.087 --> 00:24:27.823
And i think too, laurie,
00:24:27.823 --> 00:24:29.125
Like, we have such a unique opportunity for anyone
00:24:29.125 --> 00:24:32.194
Listening to to stop patterns
00:24:32.194 --> 00:24:35.398
That they've seen in their family.
00:24:35.398 --> 00:24:37.800
And my good friend susan, she always says up until now-- and
00:24:37.800 --> 00:24:42.138
You can say that for your family-- up until now, this was
00:24:42.138 --> 00:24:45.675
The pattern in my family, but i'm stopping that.
00:24:45.675 --> 00:24:48.778
And that is a really powerful stance.
00:24:48.778 --> 00:24:51.914
And, you know, things that we've seen that we don't want
00:24:51.914 --> 00:24:55.084
To repeat history because think how many families just keep
00:24:55.084 --> 00:24:58.487
Repeating the same issues and you can say, hey, you know what
00:24:58.487 --> 00:25:01.991
With me, the curse was broken over this family, whatever.
00:25:01.991 --> 00:25:05.962
Whatever that was, it stops with me because it
00:25:05.962 --> 00:25:07.997
Stopped at the cross.
00:25:07.997 --> 00:25:09.365
And i'm going to assume that in my family and up until now,
00:25:09.365 --> 00:25:12.702
You know, we're done. we're done with that.
00:25:12.702 --> 00:25:15.137
And because we're all moms, we know that we want
00:25:15.137 --> 00:25:18.007
Better for our kids than what
00:25:18.007 --> 00:25:19.809
We had anyway, so it's so worth it.
00:25:19.809 --> 00:25:23.012
You know, it's never too late to learn how to love each other
00:25:23.012 --> 00:25:25.548
Better inside of our families.
00:25:25.548 --> 00:25:26.916
If that means that you've got to make a change, if that means
00:25:26.916 --> 00:25:29.185
That there is a path that you're headed on and you need
00:25:29.185 --> 00:25:32.121
To turn the other direction, i would encourage you right now
00:25:32.121 --> 00:25:34.557
If you can identify one thing that you can do today that will
00:25:34.557 --> 00:25:38.127
Change your family for the better and show them love more
00:25:38.127 --> 00:25:41.397
Deeply, i would encourage you to do it because i know that it
00:25:41.397 --> 00:25:43.899
Will have a lasting impact.
00:25:43.899 --> 00:25:46.769
I remember so vividly i went on a walk with my mom.
00:25:46.769 --> 00:25:49.572
I was in my 30s and so it was a while ago.
00:25:49.572 --> 00:25:53.309
And she starts telling me, we're on this walk and she's
00:25:53.309 --> 00:25:56.579
Telling me things.
00:25:56.579 --> 00:25:57.847
She grew up as an only child, and she's telling me things
00:25:57.847 --> 00:25:59.782
About my grandmother and about the home that she grew up in
00:25:59.782 --> 00:26:02.151
That i never knew.
00:26:02.151 --> 00:26:04.253
You know, my mom, my mom just was my mom
00:26:04.253 --> 00:26:07.857
And i just knew her as that.
00:26:07.857 --> 00:26:10.059
I forget she was a daughter and she, you know, had--
00:26:10.059 --> 00:26:12.662
And so i all of these stories that she's telling me and some
00:26:12.662 --> 00:26:15.731
Of them really difficult and explained a lot of maybe the,
00:26:15.731 --> 00:26:20.169
The things that maybe probably frustrated me as a daughter
00:26:20.169 --> 00:26:23.539
About my mom made so much more sense.
00:26:23.539 --> 00:26:26.275
But i know as much as she endured, she also had this
00:26:26.275 --> 00:26:33.749
Thing about her of, i'm not
00:26:33.749 --> 00:26:35.751
Going to transfer this to my children.
00:26:35.751 --> 00:26:39.889
And so we all got a different experience because of
00:26:39.889 --> 00:26:44.193
Her choice to not--
00:26:44.193 --> 00:26:46.295
And so i think when we think about and those watching, you
00:26:46.295 --> 00:26:50.266
Have the opportunity to transfer something to your
00:26:50.266 --> 00:26:53.302
Children that can impact
00:26:53.302 --> 00:26:55.771
Eternity, that can impact generations.
00:26:55.771 --> 00:26:57.673
And it doesn't have to be all of the things that you, you
00:26:57.673 --> 00:27:01.777
Knew before or that your family experienced.
00:27:01.777 --> 00:27:04.213
Yeah, i always say my ceiling is my children's floor, and i
00:27:04.213 --> 00:27:08.417
Know we've probably heard that before, but honestly, we want
00:27:08.417 --> 00:27:11.220
Our children to go further,
00:27:11.220 --> 00:27:12.855
Faster, higher, do more, you know?
00:27:12.855 --> 00:27:15.424
And so how can i set them up for that future?
00:27:15.424 --> 00:27:19.261
You know, it's constantly in the back of my mind.
00:27:19.261 --> 00:27:22.098
I'm constantly thinking about that.
00:27:22.098 --> 00:27:23.733
Okay. so thinking about those watching and families and we're
00:27:23.733 --> 00:27:27.503
Talking generationally, what are ways or things that your
00:27:27.503 --> 00:27:31.273
Family does now that you feel like are really important ways
00:27:31.273 --> 00:27:36.078
That you're shaping your family for them to have eternal
00:27:36.078 --> 00:27:39.381
Impact, for them to think kingdom minded? because i know
00:27:39.381 --> 00:27:42.885
For me, like it was so important for todd and i when
00:27:42.885 --> 00:27:46.388
We were raising our kids, it was like, we don't want them
00:27:46.388 --> 00:27:49.825
To just think of themselves as people, kids who go to church.
00:27:49.825 --> 00:27:53.829
We want them to think of themselves as the church.
00:27:53.829 --> 00:27:56.732
Yes. because you'll live differently if you
00:27:56.732 --> 00:28:00.202
Know you are the church.
00:28:00.202 --> 00:28:01.470
You are who god set in place for kingdom work on this earth.
00:28:01.470 --> 00:28:05.775
Right. you know, we didn't do it perfectly, but that
00:28:05.775 --> 00:28:07.610
Was just how we felt. yeah.
00:28:07.610 --> 00:28:10.246
How would you say that that impacted your--
00:28:10.246 --> 00:28:12.615
I think therapy would be.
00:28:12.615 --> 00:28:16.619
I mean, it just wasn't a part, you know, for for 70 and 80
00:28:16.619 --> 00:28:20.689
Year olds, there were maybe one therapist in the town, and it
00:28:20.689 --> 00:28:23.793
Was probably the psychiatrist.
00:28:23.793 --> 00:28:25.094
And they were like, well, i don't need him, but i need
00:28:25.094 --> 00:28:27.263
Somebody, you know.
00:28:27.263 --> 00:28:28.564
So i do think, like, for me, i mean, i ended up in therapy for
00:28:28.564 --> 00:28:31.867
Two years because i didn't really grow up--
00:28:31.867 --> 00:28:35.271
My parents, they didn't know any better, but they didn't
00:28:35.271 --> 00:28:37.640
Really value emotional language.
00:28:37.640 --> 00:28:39.742
I didn't really know what i was feeling.
00:28:39.742 --> 00:28:41.811
I had to learn to feel again.
00:28:41.811 --> 00:28:43.546
I was just a little soldier in the lord's army,
00:28:43.546 --> 00:28:46.048
To be honest.
00:28:46.048 --> 00:28:46.782
And i knew the song and i could
00:28:46.782 --> 00:28:48.450
Sing it and all that was amazing.
00:28:48.450 --> 00:28:51.153
But i think to experience wholeness, you do have to
00:28:51.153 --> 00:28:54.557
Understand that you have an emotional component that is
00:28:54.557 --> 00:28:58.027
Very important to jesus.
00:28:58.027 --> 00:28:59.562
And so i think for 100%, i, you know, i feel like i was going
00:28:59.562 --> 00:29:04.600
To therapy for me, but that 100% transferred to my
00:29:04.600 --> 00:29:07.503
Children, and they see that as a normal part of life.
00:29:07.503 --> 00:29:11.340
And we just talk about things that are hard and we don't
00:29:11.340 --> 00:29:14.510
Sweep them under the rug.
00:29:14.510 --> 00:29:15.678
And we don't, you know, we don't not talk about them
00:29:15.678 --> 00:29:17.713
Because that was i will say, that was kind of the thing
00:29:17.713 --> 00:29:21.717
That generation did. it really was. they didn't know what
00:29:21.717 --> 00:29:24.453
They didn't know.
00:29:24.453 --> 00:29:25.788
But it is so true.
00:29:25.788 --> 00:29:26.789
It just wasn't something--
00:29:26.789 --> 00:29:28.524
And it didn't mean they-- they just knew what they knew.
00:29:28.524 --> 00:29:31.393
Nobody was sitting around
00:29:31.393 --> 00:29:32.795
Talking about at my therapy session,
00:29:32.795 --> 00:29:34.797
I talked about--
00:29:34.797 --> 00:29:35.731
Attachment and attunement, and
00:29:35.731 --> 00:29:37.366
I'm like, no one knew any of that. no.
00:29:37.366 --> 00:29:39.435
Giving our kids a safe space to process our feelings
00:29:39.435 --> 00:29:43.706
Takes us processing our feelings with them.
00:29:43.706 --> 00:29:46.542
I feel like you cannot expect a child to know how to do that
00:29:46.542 --> 00:29:50.646
Unless you model it yourself.
00:29:50.646 --> 00:29:52.548
And this has been a journey for me.
00:29:52.548 --> 00:29:54.817
I paid a lot of money, two years of therapy to know how to
00:29:54.817 --> 00:29:58.888
Do that.
00:29:58.888 --> 00:30:00.189
And so my best suggestion for you at home, wanting to do that
00:30:00.189 --> 00:30:04.260
In your own life is model it first.
00:30:04.260 --> 00:30:06.829
And if you don't know how to do it, go learn how to do it and
00:30:06.829 --> 00:30:09.498
Then they will follow.
00:30:09.498 --> 00:30:11.934
Even just transparency within the family.
00:30:11.934 --> 00:30:14.303
That's right.
00:30:14.303 --> 00:30:15.604
That's the thing that i see a huge difference in mine because
00:30:15.604 --> 00:30:17.373
Within my family, after my father's suicide, i don't
00:30:17.373 --> 00:30:20.576
Remember one conversation until my mom died that we had about
00:30:20.576 --> 00:30:25.281
What happened.
00:30:25.281 --> 00:30:26.448
See, that is just-- what happens during that time, right?
00:30:26.448 --> 00:30:29.585
How did you process?
00:30:29.585 --> 00:30:31.086
I didn't process it, which is why i ended up in a psychiatric
00:30:31.086 --> 00:30:33.389
Hospital when i was 34.
00:30:33.389 --> 00:30:35.057
But one of the things i've been really intentional with, with
00:30:35.057 --> 00:30:37.793
Our son is transparency.
00:30:37.793 --> 00:30:39.695
We talk about hard things.
00:30:39.695 --> 00:30:41.330
And actually, when he was maybe, i don't know, 14 and
00:30:41.330 --> 00:30:46.135
Being an only child i think is challenging.
00:30:46.135 --> 00:30:47.970
It's why we got him a dog.
00:30:47.970 --> 00:30:49.071
He said to us one saturday, i need a dog.
00:30:49.071 --> 00:30:52.608
And i'm like, why do you need a dog?
00:30:52.608 --> 00:30:54.476
And he said, i need somebody to talk to.
00:30:54.476 --> 00:30:56.445
I said, you could talk to us.
00:30:56.445 --> 00:30:57.713
He said, about you.
00:30:57.713 --> 00:30:59.381
We got him a dog that weekend.
00:30:59.381 --> 00:31:01.283
He's always been so wild.
00:31:01.283 --> 00:31:03.118
It's awesome.
00:31:03.118 --> 00:31:04.386
When he was 14, we got him a few sessions with a therapist,
00:31:04.386 --> 00:31:06.488
And i went into the first two minutes and said, listen, dude,
00:31:06.488 --> 00:31:08.657
You need to know this is your space.
00:31:08.657 --> 00:31:10.392
And that's--
00:31:10.392 --> 00:31:11.694
I mean, he was over for dinner last night, and just to be able
00:31:11.694 --> 00:31:14.463
To talk about all of life is-- because then what i've noticed,
00:31:14.463 --> 00:31:18.901
In fact, barry and i were talking about it after he left.
00:31:18.901 --> 00:31:21.303
We all grow, you know, because it's not just like that
00:31:21.303 --> 00:31:25.207
He's learned, but it's like he'll share things with us that
00:31:25.207 --> 00:31:28.544
In a way that i hadn't seen before.
00:31:28.544 --> 00:31:30.312
And it's like you continue to grow together when there's
00:31:30.312 --> 00:31:32.548
Transparency in a family.
00:31:32.548 --> 00:31:34.316
So if it's not a part of your family now, how do you
00:31:34.316 --> 00:31:38.287
Start those communications?
00:31:38.287 --> 00:31:39.588
How do you start when if it hasn't been-- if sweeping under
00:31:39.588 --> 00:31:42.591
The rug is what you've done?
00:31:42.591 --> 00:31:44.560
Like how how do you start that in a family that maybe hasn't
00:31:44.560 --> 00:31:48.063
Had that kind of vulnerability?
00:31:48.063 --> 00:31:49.698
Do you want to go first or do
00:31:49.698 --> 00:31:51.066
You want to keep repeating history?
00:31:51.066 --> 00:31:52.701
And so i just my big thing is for everyone i meet, you cannot
00:31:52.701 --> 00:31:56.605
Give away what you don't have.
00:31:56.605 --> 00:31:58.440
And you absolutely--
00:31:58.440 --> 00:31:59.808
If you want to start that pattern, you've got
00:31:59.808 --> 00:32:03.178
To go after it yourself.
00:32:03.178 --> 00:32:04.480
And you've got to be the one to be brave and say, you know
00:32:04.480 --> 00:32:08.017
What, it's me, and i'm going to
00:32:08.017 --> 00:32:10.119
Go at least talk to a trusted friend.
00:32:10.119 --> 00:32:13.055
I think breaking the silence of i've done this
00:32:13.055 --> 00:32:16.992
And even-- i mean, i know for me, when i let go of shame at 32
00:32:16.992 --> 00:32:21.463
For a secret that had happened to me young, that broke this
00:32:21.463 --> 00:32:25.768
Shame of silence because there's shame around it,
00:32:25.768 --> 00:32:28.537
Like my family did this.
00:32:28.537 --> 00:32:29.838
And so i think even just a trusted friend can help.
00:32:29.838 --> 00:32:33.308
You don't have to go pay somebody.
00:32:33.308 --> 00:32:34.676
There's a lot of people who will listen to you.
00:32:34.676 --> 00:32:36.945
But i do think you've got to be willing. you know, if i
00:32:36.945 --> 00:32:40.115
Want a different life, i have to do something different.
00:32:40.115 --> 00:32:42.217
That's so true.
00:32:42.217 --> 00:32:43.786
Not everyone watching the show has grown up in a loving,
00:32:43.786 --> 00:32:46.855
Healthy home.
00:32:46.855 --> 00:32:48.123
And so for those of you who maybe would say i didn't have
00:32:48.123 --> 00:32:50.325
That opportunity to grow up in a loving or a healthy home, how
00:32:50.325 --> 00:32:54.863
Does god fill in the gaps here?
00:32:54.863 --> 00:32:56.432
And i want to tell you, first off, he sees you when when he
00:32:56.432 --> 00:32:59.701
Formed you from the beginning, he had a destiny for you.
00:32:59.701 --> 00:33:02.805
He had a future and a hope for you.
00:33:02.805 --> 00:33:04.740
And that is still true no matter where you come from.
00:33:04.740 --> 00:33:07.509
But god fills in the gap because he is the best father.
00:33:07.509 --> 00:33:11.713
That's what is so special about learning how to have a
00:33:11.713 --> 00:33:15.017
Relationship with him.
00:33:15.017 --> 00:33:16.218
He's not just this being up there that we can't know
00:33:16.218 --> 00:33:18.821
And we can't talk to.
00:33:18.821 --> 00:33:20.556
He is your friend and he is your father.
00:33:20.556 --> 00:33:23.025
And so if you didn't have a good mother or a good father,
00:33:23.025 --> 00:33:26.295
He fills in the gaps by loving you unconditionally.
00:33:26.295 --> 00:33:29.398
He's got compassion,
00:33:29.398 --> 00:33:30.799
Forgiveness, unconditional love.
00:33:30.799 --> 00:33:32.701
It's all these things that you
00:33:32.701 --> 00:33:34.136
Probably your heart always wanted.
00:33:34.136 --> 00:33:36.105
He can be the one to fill in the gap.
00:33:36.105 --> 00:33:38.140
If you're not involved in a strong bible believing church,
00:33:38.140 --> 00:33:41.110
I would say get involved there, because what god does is he
00:33:41.110 --> 00:33:45.581
Puts people around you who also will love on you in the way
00:33:45.581 --> 00:33:49.485
That jesus loves on people.
00:33:49.485 --> 00:33:51.386
And you can start feeling like a family is around you when you
00:33:51.386 --> 00:33:55.324
Have people of god loving on you.
00:33:55.324 --> 00:33:57.559
But let jesus be the the person in your life.
00:33:57.559 --> 00:34:02.231
If you don't feel like you have that mother or father or that
00:34:02.231 --> 00:34:05.701
Healthy family, start reading the word and falling in love
00:34:05.701 --> 00:34:09.505
With who jesus is and you will feel in your heart such joy and
00:34:09.505 --> 00:34:14.276
Peace that maybe you've never felt before.
00:34:14.276 --> 00:34:17.346
Me and my sister in law, who i've got, and my husband is
00:34:17.346 --> 00:34:20.649
The oldest of four,
00:34:20.649 --> 00:34:21.750
Just the greatest family.
00:34:21.750 --> 00:34:23.552
But i mean, we're loud and we're big.
00:34:23.552 --> 00:34:26.188
And you would think we're italian.
00:34:26.188 --> 00:34:27.489
We're not.
00:34:27.489 --> 00:34:28.390
But it's like that everywhere we go.
00:34:28.390 --> 00:34:30.559
But his sister, one of his sisters, she and i, we had
00:34:30.559 --> 00:34:34.396
Kids, similar ages.
00:34:34.396 --> 00:34:36.031
We were raising kids in the same proximity to each other,
00:34:36.031 --> 00:34:39.668
Always together.
00:34:39.668 --> 00:34:41.136
And we're very different personalities.
00:34:41.136 --> 00:34:43.205
And so as that was happening, there were some conflicts in
00:34:43.205 --> 00:34:48.577
Our living life together.
00:34:48.577 --> 00:34:51.013
And my father in law started noticing because we're together
00:34:51.013 --> 00:34:54.750
All the time.
00:34:54.750 --> 00:34:55.851
He started noticing, okay, blynda's pulling away or
00:34:55.851 --> 00:34:58.854
Lisa's not coming to this or what's kind of happening, and
00:34:58.854 --> 00:35:02.658
Kind of as like the patriarch of the family
00:35:02.658 --> 00:35:05.527
He just felt this is my responsibility because
00:35:05.527 --> 00:35:09.631
We are--
00:35:09.631 --> 00:35:11.166
He felt like he was the protector of the family, and the
00:35:11.166 --> 00:35:14.436
The dream that he had in his heart of what he wanted his
00:35:14.436 --> 00:35:16.805
Family to look like for generations and generations,
00:35:16.805 --> 00:35:19.975
You can't let these little things happen without
00:35:19.975 --> 00:35:22.177
Taking care of them.
00:35:22.177 --> 00:35:23.378
So he and my mother-in-law called a mediation meeting.
00:35:23.378 --> 00:35:26.648
And lisa and her husband and me and my husband came
00:35:26.648 --> 00:35:30.719
And we kind of duked it out,
00:35:30.719 --> 00:35:33.021
All the things that-- the thing i had said or done that i had
00:35:33.021 --> 00:35:36.291
No idea offended her.
00:35:36.291 --> 00:35:37.626
And the thing that she had said or done that she had no idea
00:35:37.626 --> 00:35:41.063
Hurt me because we were-- we aren't--
00:35:41.063 --> 00:35:42.731
We're very different personalities.
00:35:42.731 --> 00:35:44.132
And so we had to learn how to live together, work together,
00:35:44.132 --> 00:35:49.037
You know, love together.
00:35:49.037 --> 00:35:50.572
And what i appreciate is that was i mean, my goodness, our
00:35:50.572 --> 00:35:54.409
Boys were little.
00:35:54.409 --> 00:35:55.377
So i mean, that was maybe 20 years ago.
00:35:55.377 --> 00:35:58.013
And today she's easily one of my best friends.
00:35:58.013 --> 00:36:00.716
I mean, she's not just a sister- in-law, she's a sister and
00:36:00.716 --> 00:36:03.785
She's a friend.
00:36:03.785 --> 00:36:05.520
And i don't know where that relationship would have been
00:36:05.520 --> 00:36:08.991
Had he not stepped in and said, i feel like as god has put me
00:36:08.991 --> 00:36:13.895
In this position, as the dad of this family, the patriarch of
00:36:13.895 --> 00:36:17.799
This family, i have to do what i can do to open up the
00:36:17.799 --> 00:36:21.603
Conversation, the lines of conversation, so that in 20
00:36:21.603 --> 00:36:24.373
Years time, where we are now, we're living in abundance and
00:36:24.373 --> 00:36:27.276
Blessing instead of division.
00:36:27.276 --> 00:36:29.378
Being willing to have those hard conversations.
00:36:29.378 --> 00:36:32.914
Sometimes it's hard if you have
00:36:32.914 --> 00:36:34.483
To have one of those difficult conversations.
00:36:34.483 --> 00:36:37.085
Can you be loving and also confront?
00:36:37.085 --> 00:36:40.155
Absolutely. sometimes it's much easier not to to bring
00:36:40.155 --> 00:36:43.392
Something up just to kind of brush it under the carpet, but
00:36:43.392 --> 00:36:46.194
Then you end up with a very lumpy carpet.
00:36:46.194 --> 00:36:48.497
I think when we love enough to have those difficult
00:36:48.497 --> 00:36:50.999
Conversations, one of the things that we do in our family
00:36:50.999 --> 00:36:54.136
Is that if i have something to share, i'll share it and i say,
00:36:54.136 --> 00:36:56.905
Let me hear, what did you hear me say there?
00:36:56.905 --> 00:36:59.508
Because sometimes we hear things differently, and then we
00:36:59.508 --> 00:37:02.144
Get a chance to unpack it a little bit more.
00:37:02.144 --> 00:37:04.446
But when they know that you love them and that's the
00:37:04.446 --> 00:37:07.316
Place that's coming from,
00:37:07.316 --> 00:37:08.250
I think that makes all the difference.
00:37:08.250 --> 00:37:11.520
You know, in those early days of my family, the love was all
00:37:11.520 --> 00:37:14.523
About presence.
00:37:14.523 --> 00:37:15.524
It was all about the closeness of my family.
00:37:15.524 --> 00:37:17.893
There was a time where that got broken.
00:37:17.893 --> 00:37:20.362
I very easily was able to think
00:37:20.362 --> 00:37:23.332
That this was the way god was too,
00:37:23.332 --> 00:37:25.534
That if you're close and then something bad happens, that
00:37:25.534 --> 00:37:28.737
Maybe god would be far away and that his love would be distant.
00:37:28.737 --> 00:37:31.740
But as i've grown older and closer to the lord, i've
00:37:31.740 --> 00:37:34.543
Realized that that is not true,
00:37:34.543 --> 00:37:36.278
That god's love is there for us.
00:37:36.278 --> 00:37:37.746
No matter what happens, no matter what we go through, we
00:37:37.746 --> 00:37:40.082
Can always tap back into god's love.
00:37:40.082 --> 00:37:43.919
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00:37:43.919 --> 00:37:47.723
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00:37:47.723 --> 00:37:51.393
And never miss the latest news!
00:37:51.393 --> 00:37:55.005
And never miss the latest news!
00:37:55.005 --> 00:37:57.901
I think one of the hardest things when we talk about
00:38:01.405 --> 00:38:03.607
Family and we talk about home is if you look at your own life
00:38:03.607 --> 00:38:06.710
And you think, you know what?
00:38:06.710 --> 00:38:07.611
That wasn't my story.
00:38:07.611 --> 00:38:09.146
I didn't grow up in a loving home.
00:38:09.146 --> 00:38:10.881
I didn't grow up in a together family.
00:38:10.881 --> 00:38:14.084
So i don't think that's an option for me.
00:38:14.084 --> 00:38:16.153
That is not true.
00:38:16.153 --> 00:38:17.521
That's the amazing thing.
00:38:17.521 --> 00:38:18.622
When jesus christ comes into
00:38:18.622 --> 00:38:20.257
Your life, it changes everything.
00:38:20.257 --> 00:38:22.793
Isn't it incredible to think you could be the first person
00:38:22.793 --> 00:38:25.229
To start something new for generations?
00:38:25.229 --> 00:38:28.165
You could be the one who says, you know what?
00:38:28.165 --> 00:38:30.434
From this point on, we're going to be a loving family.
00:38:30.434 --> 00:38:32.903
And it's going to start with me.
00:38:32.903 --> 00:38:36.306
Before you and i were friends,
00:38:39.376 --> 00:38:40.744
I watched you on the biggest loser.
00:38:40.744 --> 00:38:42.713
But it was a season where it was you and your mom.
00:38:42.713 --> 00:38:45.015
It wasn't just an individual going.
00:38:45.015 --> 00:38:47.651
And i can remember watching it thinking, this has got to be so
00:38:47.651 --> 00:38:50.020
Hard because you had to deal with some tough issues, but in
00:38:50.020 --> 00:38:53.891
Front of a live television, well, a television audience.
00:38:53.891 --> 00:38:56.760
Right. and what i didn't realize when i signed up to do
00:38:56.760 --> 00:39:00.697
It was that it was going to be a family situation.
00:39:00.697 --> 00:39:03.700
And i went in really naive thinking, oh, well, we'll just
00:39:03.700 --> 00:39:07.771
We'll make new friends when we get there.
00:39:07.771 --> 00:39:09.139
You know, we don't have to just hang out with each other.
00:39:09.139 --> 00:39:11.208
Surely not.
00:39:11.208 --> 00:39:12.176
You know, um, and silly me, i didn't know.
00:39:12.176 --> 00:39:14.978
And when they made the announcement on the day, you
00:39:14.978 --> 00:39:17.981
Know, we're taping, we're going, this is happening,
00:39:17.981 --> 00:39:20.417
They're like, this is the family edition.
00:39:20.417 --> 00:39:22.085
And i went, oh, okay, well this is different.
00:39:22.085 --> 00:39:24.988
Okay. and so we would spend
00:39:24.988 --> 00:39:27.157
Every minute of every day together.
00:39:27.157 --> 00:39:29.259
And we had some things that, you know, we hadn't dealt with
00:39:29.259 --> 00:39:32.095
That we needed to work through.
00:39:32.095 --> 00:39:34.264
And so there was a time where i tried to to quit the show.
00:39:34.264 --> 00:39:37.701
I was like, well, that's it, i'm leaving.
00:39:37.701 --> 00:39:39.069
And i was like, mom, you're going to have to go tell
00:39:39.069 --> 00:39:41.672
Jillian michaels that i'm leaving.
00:39:41.672 --> 00:39:43.140
And, you know, mainly because i was afraid of her.
00:39:43.140 --> 00:39:45.609
And i thought, well, mom-- understandable. what moms do.
00:39:45.609 --> 00:39:48.712
You're going to have to go tell her i don't want to.
00:39:48.712 --> 00:39:50.547
But it was the time together.
00:39:50.547 --> 00:39:52.549
And that time when you are able
00:39:52.549 --> 00:39:54.284
To, you know, get away from the busyness.
00:39:54.284 --> 00:39:57.120
The thing about, you know, a reality tv experience like that
00:39:57.120 --> 00:40:00.924
Was that you're completely cut off from everything else.
00:40:00.924 --> 00:40:04.127
You know, we didn't have cell phones, we didn't watch any tv.
00:40:04.127 --> 00:40:06.897
You didn't watch any news, you
00:40:06.897 --> 00:40:07.931
Didn't get a newspaper, you got nothing.
00:40:07.931 --> 00:40:09.500
You had no information from the outside world.
00:40:09.500 --> 00:40:11.535
And so you really just had time.
00:40:11.535 --> 00:40:14.137
And i think so often we don't
00:40:14.137 --> 00:40:16.206
Take time to to work on an issue.
00:40:16.206 --> 00:40:19.076
The fact that, you know, he saw what was coming years ahead
00:40:19.076 --> 00:40:21.745
That you couldn't see,
00:40:21.745 --> 00:40:22.980
And he said, we need to take time now so that it doesn't
00:40:22.980 --> 00:40:25.482
Fester and it doesn't grow.
00:40:25.482 --> 00:40:26.950
And for my mom and i, we really were able to take the time in
00:40:26.950 --> 00:40:30.687
This very odd environment to really have some hard
00:40:30.687 --> 00:40:34.491
Conversations to, you know, walk through some, you know,
00:40:34.491 --> 00:40:38.228
Showing love and support where,
00:40:38.228 --> 00:40:39.963
You know, maybe there was none before.
00:40:39.963 --> 00:40:41.598
And so it was it's really a thing, if you really think
00:40:41.598 --> 00:40:44.401
About it, that our time is so short.
00:40:44.401 --> 00:40:46.470
And so if we let things go and we just kind of keep sweeping
00:40:46.470 --> 00:40:49.306
It under, you know, we talk about the generation before us
00:40:49.306 --> 00:40:52.709
And how this generation is so polar opposite
00:40:52.709 --> 00:40:54.711
If you think of those, and a lot of it is that we're just
00:40:54.711 --> 00:40:57.414
Not taking time to stop, to look up. whenever i have
00:40:57.414 --> 00:41:01.518
Something to say to my youngest, she is very bright,
00:41:01.518 --> 00:41:04.821
Very sharp, and her mind is going all the time, and so much
00:41:04.821 --> 00:41:09.526
So that i think it's given her a bit of a stutter from time to
00:41:09.526 --> 00:41:11.929
Time, because she's just like has so many words.
00:41:11.929 --> 00:41:14.498
I got to tell you all these things, so many words.
00:41:14.498 --> 00:41:16.133
And when i talk to her, i have to stop what i'm doing, and i
00:41:16.133 --> 00:41:19.269
Have to look her in the eye and say, okay, i'm listening,
00:41:19.269 --> 00:41:22.673
Because i need her to connect.
00:41:22.673 --> 00:41:24.141
I need her to slow down, and i need her to understand that i
00:41:24.141 --> 00:41:27.411
Hear you and i see you, and i'm
00:41:27.411 --> 00:41:29.413
Not just busy doing all the things.
00:41:29.413 --> 00:41:31.415
And i feel like that's so important for children, but
00:41:31.415 --> 00:41:35.118
It's also important for our friendships.
00:41:35.118 --> 00:41:36.653
We're so busy on our phones and all the distractions that we
00:41:36.653 --> 00:41:40.424
Have that we're not stopping
00:41:40.424 --> 00:41:41.592
And looking and saying, i hear you.
00:41:41.592 --> 00:41:43.827
I see what you're saying.
00:41:43.827 --> 00:41:45.495
I mean, it's so true that like the way that i know when i
00:41:45.495 --> 00:41:48.432
Think about how would i feel loved, it's to be known.
00:41:48.432 --> 00:41:51.702
It's to be seen, to be heard.
00:41:51.702 --> 00:41:54.171
You know, that would be--
00:41:54.171 --> 00:41:55.706
And so as a child for sure, because i need that even
00:41:55.706 --> 00:41:58.075
As an adult, you know.
00:41:58.075 --> 00:41:59.643
And the first people that you would think would do that would
00:41:59.643 --> 00:42:03.180
Be your parents and your family, you know.
00:42:03.180 --> 00:42:06.183
So i think the intentionality of what you just said of just
00:42:06.183 --> 00:42:09.519
I need you to stop a minute, take that away.
00:42:09.519 --> 00:42:12.022
You know, and i'm here
00:42:12.022 --> 00:42:13.290
And i'm listening and look them in the eye.
00:42:13.290 --> 00:42:17.027
As a mom of two little kids, i know how important it is that
00:42:17.027 --> 00:42:20.464
My kids feel both seen and heard.
00:42:20.464 --> 00:42:23.400
The busyness of life can take over every single moment of my
00:42:23.400 --> 00:42:26.670
Day if i allow it to.
00:42:26.670 --> 00:42:28.271
But when my kids need me, it's important that i stop, that i
00:42:28.271 --> 00:42:31.141
Look them in the eye, that i give them the attention for
00:42:31.141 --> 00:42:34.177
Those moments, that they're having these conversations with
00:42:34.177 --> 00:42:36.279
Me, because i know that it has an impact, and it lets them
00:42:36.279 --> 00:42:38.782
Know that whatever they're experiencing is important to me
00:42:38.782 --> 00:42:41.685
As it is to them.
00:42:41.685 --> 00:42:42.953
And so if you've got little ones, i want to encourage you
00:42:42.953 --> 00:42:45.222
To really lock in when they're having those dialogs with you.
00:42:45.222 --> 00:42:48.191
Really try to press into those moments and really savor
00:42:48.191 --> 00:42:50.560
Those sweet conversations.
00:42:50.560 --> 00:42:53.163
I think the intentionality of what we can think about
00:42:53.163 --> 00:42:58.068
Today as mothers, as single people, with, with families,
00:42:58.068 --> 00:43:02.539
You know, is that grace that that we can extend even when--
00:43:02.539 --> 00:43:07.611
You know, it's always surprising as well to think
00:43:07.611 --> 00:43:11.248
About how many years can pass between people, no matter who
00:43:11.248 --> 00:43:16.920
It is that you believe a lie. that's so true.
00:43:16.920 --> 00:43:20.190
It's just a lie.
00:43:20.190 --> 00:43:22.092
Yeah. and boy, if we communicated better,
00:43:22.092 --> 00:43:25.395
The wasted time, the wasted--
00:43:25.395 --> 00:43:28.999
And that gets really tangible sometimes just
00:43:28.999 --> 00:43:31.468
When you think about it
00:43:31.468 --> 00:43:33.003
Because life is a vapor and it's that waste, you know,
00:43:33.003 --> 00:43:36.373
All those years,
00:43:36.373 --> 00:43:38.308
I believed this about her or she believed that about me.
00:43:38.308 --> 00:43:41.778
And it was like, i have never thought that a day in my
00:43:41.778 --> 00:43:44.748
Life, you know, and getting that, getting the air clean.
00:43:44.748 --> 00:43:47.684
I remember my dad, he didn't know how to count.
00:43:47.684 --> 00:43:50.120
So there was no one, two, three.
00:43:50.120 --> 00:43:52.589
There was there was no time outs.
00:43:52.589 --> 00:43:56.226
It was like i said that once.
00:43:56.226 --> 00:43:58.361
And now get to your room and i'll be there in a second.
00:43:58.361 --> 00:44:02.132
Yeah, he was a second--
00:44:02.132 --> 00:44:04.468
We probably need more of that.
00:44:04.468 --> 00:44:05.335
Yeah, a little. bit.
00:44:05.335 --> 00:44:06.336
And i knew what was coming, you know.
00:44:06.336 --> 00:44:08.338
But i remember after being spanked--
00:44:08.338 --> 00:44:11.541
Yes, i was spanked good, i was spanked good.
00:44:11.541 --> 00:44:14.711
And the air was just clean.
00:44:14.711 --> 00:44:17.814
It was just like, i have a new lease on life now because there
00:44:17.814 --> 00:44:21.351
Are guide rails, there are boundaries.
00:44:21.351 --> 00:44:24.287
And my dad was teaching me the way of the lord
00:44:24.287 --> 00:44:27.023
One way or the other.
00:44:27.023 --> 00:44:28.825
You're either going to get this on your own or i'm going to
00:44:28.825 --> 00:44:30.827
Help you, you know? yeah.
00:44:30.827 --> 00:44:32.562
And and i just remember that the air being--
00:44:32.562 --> 00:44:36.366
Yeah. that's a fresh start, isn't it?
00:44:36.366 --> 00:44:38.468
It's a clean slate.
00:44:38.468 --> 00:44:39.469
As a little girl, i remember that feeling.
00:44:39.469 --> 00:44:41.772
And the air was just cleared.
00:44:41.772 --> 00:44:43.473
And so how many of us today could just make a phone call or
00:44:43.473 --> 00:44:47.144
Have that conversation that would just clear the air and
00:44:47.144 --> 00:44:50.313
Just clean up? mhm.
00:44:50.313 --> 00:44:52.783
Take all the trash out, take the lies away
00:44:52.783 --> 00:44:55.585
And those things that we have been so offended by.
00:44:55.585 --> 00:44:59.623
I want to encourage you that where you are today, your new
00:44:59.623 --> 00:45:04.895
Legacy can start today and you may be single, you might not
00:45:04.895 --> 00:45:08.698
Even be married.
00:45:08.698 --> 00:45:09.432
But you can believe right now.
00:45:09.432 --> 00:45:11.668
You can begin setting your heart on the disciplines
00:45:11.668 --> 00:45:14.371
And on the precepts and the understanding of god in your
00:45:14.371 --> 00:45:17.607
Life, and growing in him, being a disciple of christ.
00:45:17.607 --> 00:45:21.711
And you can begin doing that today to set in motion a
00:45:21.711 --> 00:45:25.448
Future, that your future legacy will not be like your former,
00:45:25.448 --> 00:45:29.286
And that you will be able to start new.
00:45:29.286 --> 00:45:31.188
And you will-- your legacy,
00:45:31.188 --> 00:45:32.989
The generational blessing starts today with you.
00:45:32.989 --> 00:45:36.626
Love has no offense.
00:45:36.626 --> 00:45:38.028
Love doesn't just write down, keep writing down.
00:45:38.028 --> 00:45:40.664
And i think so many people are just looking for the negative.
00:45:40.664 --> 00:45:43.300
You say one thing to me,
00:45:43.300 --> 00:45:44.401
Oh, she meant that. ledger.
00:45:44.401 --> 00:45:46.369
Okay. you know, and we need to stop.
00:45:46.369 --> 00:45:49.139
We need to stop doing that and give some grace
00:45:49.139 --> 00:45:52.509
Because i think people try hard.
00:45:52.509 --> 00:45:54.511
Maybe, maybe other people don't.
00:45:54.511 --> 00:45:56.947
But you know what?
00:45:56.947 --> 00:45:57.814
They'll stand before god one day.
00:45:57.814 --> 00:45:59.382
Yeah. you know, but i'm responsible for my reaction
00:45:59.382 --> 00:46:02.352
Or my action towards people.
00:46:02.352 --> 00:46:05.422
And i have a choice. and so do you.
00:46:05.422 --> 00:46:06.990
Everybody has a choice of how we we respond to people and to
00:46:06.990 --> 00:46:12.362
Things and to conversations.
00:46:12.362 --> 00:46:14.364
And we need to just start
00:46:14.364 --> 00:46:16.366
Learning to to make the right choice.
00:46:16.366 --> 00:46:18.335
And words are like, honey, yes.
00:46:18.335 --> 00:46:20.637
Or they are a sword in your back.
00:46:20.637 --> 00:46:23.039
Yes. and we need to stop because, uh, silence is golden.
00:46:23.039 --> 00:46:28.111
It really is
00:46:28.111 --> 00:46:29.379
And a lot of times, and we need to just watch our words and
00:46:29.379 --> 00:46:31.815
What we speak out of our mouths
00:46:31.815 --> 00:46:33.917
And start learning to bless people.
00:46:33.917 --> 00:46:35.552
Yeah.
00:46:35.552 --> 00:46:36.720
And remembering that, especially as parents, so much
00:46:36.720 --> 00:46:38.922
Is caught, not taught.
00:46:38.922 --> 00:46:40.390
So you've got little, little ones watching how you
00:46:40.390 --> 00:46:43.827
Responded to that person.
00:46:43.827 --> 00:46:45.028
Monkey see. monkey do.
00:46:45.028 --> 00:46:46.363
Yes.
00:46:46.363 --> 00:46:47.631
And if you want, if you that transference that i was talking
00:46:47.631 --> 00:46:50.567
About is like if you're wanting to transfer to them that they
00:46:50.567 --> 00:46:53.136
Know how to walk in grace, you have to then yourself
00:46:53.136 --> 00:46:56.840
Walk in grace.
00:46:56.840 --> 00:46:58.074
First corinthians 13, when it talks about love, keeps no
00:46:58.074 --> 00:47:00.777
Record of wrongs,
00:47:00.777 --> 00:47:02.078
That has been such a challenge to me in my life, because it's
00:47:02.078 --> 00:47:05.215
So easy for me to keep a record of wrongs.
00:47:05.215 --> 00:47:07.317
Yes, but.
00:47:07.317 --> 00:47:08.518
But grace says no.
00:47:08.518 --> 00:47:10.153
That gets washed away.
00:47:10.153 --> 00:47:12.489
You've heard it said,
00:47:12.489 --> 00:47:13.390
More is caught than taught.
00:47:13.390 --> 00:47:14.891
And so the way we show love in our home is the way our kids
00:47:14.891 --> 00:47:19.396
Perceive love.
00:47:19.396 --> 00:47:20.497
That's what happens at your house too.
00:47:20.497 --> 00:47:22.532
You show love to your kids.
00:47:22.532 --> 00:47:23.867
You show that unconditional love.
00:47:23.867 --> 00:47:25.535
You go through hardships and trials and even love
00:47:25.535 --> 00:47:29.506
Sometimes is tough.
00:47:29.506 --> 00:47:31.641
And so, with god's help, we show that unconditional love in
00:47:31.641 --> 00:47:36.646
Every season, every situation, and just pray for god's grace
00:47:36.646 --> 00:47:41.451
And mercy on our lives to be able to show his ultimate love.
00:47:41.451 --> 00:47:46.022
For me, it's like also as christian women, as women who
00:47:46.022 --> 00:47:50.126
Have been, our lives have been covered in grace, in the blood,
00:47:50.126 --> 00:47:53.496
It's like, why not be the first one to say something?
00:47:53.496 --> 00:47:57.100
Sometimes we're always waiting
00:47:57.100 --> 00:47:58.034
For someone else to say something.
00:47:58.034 --> 00:48:00.036
And i just think, wouldn't it be great if we didn't just
00:48:00.036 --> 00:48:03.139
Start keeping our list, or if we just remembered, you know
00:48:03.139 --> 00:48:06.309
Who we are in christ and say, i'm going to be the first one
00:48:06.309 --> 00:48:08.411
To reach out to them, because maybe, maybe it's all the
00:48:08.411 --> 00:48:11.147
Things i'm thinking in my head, but maybe it's not.
00:48:11.147 --> 00:48:13.316
And i'm not going to wait.
00:48:13.316 --> 00:48:14.617
Like, don't wait. that's so good.
00:48:14.617 --> 00:48:17.520
But i do want to, you know, invite those who are watching
00:48:17.520 --> 00:48:20.991
To just have a moment, even right now, to just let their
00:48:20.991 --> 00:48:23.960
Heart be open, that god could start ministering the love and
00:48:23.960 --> 00:48:26.463
Grace that maybe they've never felt and they could feel for
00:48:26.463 --> 00:48:29.165
The first time.
00:48:29.165 --> 00:48:29.799
So let's pray.
00:48:29.799 --> 00:48:30.900
Father god, we just thank you.
00:48:30.900 --> 00:48:32.602
We thank you that you ultimately are the one that has
00:48:32.602 --> 00:48:35.071
Shown us the most unconditional love, the grace that goes
00:48:35.071 --> 00:48:39.476
Beyond anything we could ever imagine,
00:48:39.476 --> 00:48:41.611
You have shown that. you displayed that god when you
00:48:41.611 --> 00:48:44.014
Sent your son for us to die for us.
00:48:44.014 --> 00:48:46.983
Lord, we thank you for that.
00:48:46.983 --> 00:48:48.651
Thank you, lord, that we are washed clean.
00:48:48.651 --> 00:48:51.388
We get the clean slate because of you.
00:48:51.388 --> 00:48:54.491
And so, lord, we just pray right now for every heart
00:48:54.491 --> 00:48:57.260
Watching, for the ones who have come from brokenness, for the
00:48:57.260 --> 00:49:00.930
Ones who are walking in freedom,
00:49:00.930 --> 00:49:02.332
Lord, there is something that you want to say and do this
00:49:02.332 --> 00:49:05.502
Week in every heart.
00:49:05.502 --> 00:49:07.137
And so we ask, father, that you would move among us, that you
00:49:07.137 --> 00:49:11.074
Would speak truth to a lie, and that you would restore our
00:49:11.074 --> 00:49:15.712
Understanding of your purpose for family and your your
00:49:15.712 --> 00:49:19.249
Purpose for us and the role that we play in the family
00:49:19.249 --> 00:49:22.052
That you've placed us in.
00:49:22.052 --> 00:49:23.787
So, god, we surrender to you this week.
00:49:23.787 --> 00:49:25.955
We thank you so much for these
00:49:25.955 --> 00:49:27.524
Friends and for these loved ones.
00:49:27.524 --> 00:49:29.359
And we ask that you bless us.
00:49:29.359 --> 00:49:30.727
In jesus' name,
00:49:30.727 --> 00:49:32.262
Amen, amen.
00:49:32.262 --> 00:49:33.730
Amen. amen.
00:49:33.730 --> 00:49:35.799
Connect with us on social media and let us know
00:49:35.799 --> 00:49:37.901
How our team can pray for you.
00:49:37.901 --> 00:49:41.805
In psalm 68 verse six, it says
00:49:41.805 --> 00:49:44.374
This, god places the lonely in families.
00:49:44.374 --> 00:49:47.377
That's obviously god's heart for us.
00:49:47.377 --> 00:49:49.279
We were not meant to do life by ourselves.
00:49:49.279 --> 00:49:51.448
We're not designed to do life alone.
00:49:51.448 --> 00:49:54.184
And perhaps you have a family where you feel loved and cared
00:49:54.184 --> 00:49:57.187
For, but maybe that's not your life.
00:49:57.187 --> 00:49:59.556
Maybe you're in a situation that's very challenging, but
00:49:59.556 --> 00:50:02.125
You know, there's other ways to find our family.
00:50:02.125 --> 00:50:04.794
Maybe there's a perhaps the church that you belong to,
00:50:04.794 --> 00:50:07.530
Maybe a small group that you can join.
00:50:07.530 --> 00:50:09.766
And sometimes one of the greatest things you can do is
00:50:09.766 --> 00:50:12.902
Simply to reach out for help.
00:50:12.902 --> 00:50:14.404
And that's hard.
00:50:14.404 --> 00:50:15.605
None of us wants to say, hey, i need some help.
00:50:15.605 --> 00:50:17.774
But that's what i did when i first went to seminary, and i
00:50:17.774 --> 00:50:20.944
Didn't know anybody in that town.
00:50:20.944 --> 00:50:22.745
I went to a little church and i
00:50:22.745 --> 00:50:25.315
Asked, are there any small groups?
00:50:25.315 --> 00:50:26.783
And they said, well, yeah, there's this small group.
00:50:26.783 --> 00:50:28.585
And so i went up to them and i
00:50:28.585 --> 00:50:30.153
Said, do you think i could join?
00:50:30.153 --> 00:50:31.855
And they became some of my closest friends through the
00:50:31.855 --> 00:50:35.225
Whole three years i was there.
00:50:35.225 --> 00:50:37.060
Just ask god to show you what
00:50:37.060 --> 00:50:38.761
To do and then take a step of faith.
00:50:38.761 --> 00:50:42.432
Watch better together on the go.
00:50:42.432 --> 00:50:44.400
Download the free tbn+ app
00:50:44.400 --> 00:50:46.769
To stream all of your favorite conversations.
00:50:46.769 --> 00:50:50.073
♪♪
00:50:50.073 --> 00:50:50.073

A Family Shaped by Love | Better Together Episode 1136

January 26, 2026 | S8 E1136 | 51:1

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