Better Together

How Family Finds Joy | Better Together Episode 1138

January 28, 2026 | S8 E1138 | 50:59

Experience the JOY that can transform your family! Let laughter lift your hearts, and God’s goodness turn ordinary moments into memories that will never be forgotten. | TBN Prayer Line: 714-731-1000

#Joy #HolySpirit #Goodness #Family #Love #Unity #BodyofChrist #Mother #Healing #PersonalStory #Parenting #Grief #Humor #Shame #LaurieCrouch #SheilaWalsh #BlyndaLane #MichelleAguilar

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Better Together | How Family Finds Joy | Better Together Episode 1138 | January 28, 2026

- our god is the source of true joy, and when difficult seasons
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Come and laughter fades, families can find joy again.
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Come on, let's talk about it.
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♪ (music playing) ♪
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- i love these kinds of very honest conversations about
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Family and the different places we've been and the lessons we've
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Learned or the things that we're still in.
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But today it's going to be kind of fun because we're talking
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About finding joy in a family.
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And what i was thinking about, was there a time in our family
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Where things were hard and somehow injecting some joy into
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That change?
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And it came back to me so clearly.
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We used to live in nashville.
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And when my mother-in-law, eleanor, passed, my father-in-
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-law, william, came and moved in with us, which was fantastic.
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He was 80 years old at the time and lived with us for two and a
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Half years before he passed.
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And it was just a blast.
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He was just a character.
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He sold his house, and we sold ours, and we were getting a
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House together, and it wasn't quite finished.
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And the builder, i discovered, i don't know what he did in the
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60s, but it wasn't good.
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And it definitely had affected a few brain cells.
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Because we would go over and check out the thing and there
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Would be like the ceiling leaked in the bathroom and there would
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Be nails everywhere.
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And we've got a little boy at this time.
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But the day we actually moved in, he said, i want to come over
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And just bring you some flowers.
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And i thought, oh, that's really lovely.
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So he came over and he said, i'm going to turn on the sprinkler
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System in the yard and show you how it works.
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And i'm like, oh, yeah, great.
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So i opened the front door because i wanted to look.
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It came over my head and into the kitchen.
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I mean, literally, it didn't touch any of the grass.
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It shot right over my head in the kitchen.
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But he was so kind of strangely chill about everything.
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Because i said to him, that actually came into the kitchen.
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And he said, yeah, that's too far.
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Too far.
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It wasn't supposed to be in the house at all.
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And honestly, it was like one thing after another went wrong
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With this house.
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I mean, we loved it.
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It could have been perfect.
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But i think he just couldn't quite be bothered to finish it.
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There were so many things that we would discover that were
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A disaster.
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And we sat down one evening and it's almost christmas time and
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We're talking it through.
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And my father-in-law said, you need to write a list.
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We need to have a list of every, because these are not little
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Things like it would be nice if that was a slightly
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Different yellow.
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These are things that, you know, that the ceiling might
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Come down here.
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So we're writing out this list, and christian's, i
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Don't know, five.
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And barry was talking about how disappointing this was, because
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When you build a house, you expect it to be a certain way.
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And christian said, do you want to know what i'm
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Disappointed in?
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And i was like, yes, i do.
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And he said, it's not snowing.
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And it was almost christmas, and it wasn't snowing.
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And i said, you know what, christian, there's some things
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In life that we don't have much control over.
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But there's other things in life where we can make some choices.
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I said, go and get that big bag of flour i got from costco.
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So he got this big bag of flour from costco.
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And i got william and barry, and i'm like, okay, we're going to
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Make it snow.
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And we literally threw up flour.
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I mean, like, how much messier could the house be?
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But we literally threw up flour.
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And i have such a memory still of the laughter of my
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Five-year-old son watching it snow in our kitchen on
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Christmas eve.
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I think somebody's laughter is a salvation almost in the midst of
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Things that are hard.
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- i think it's so important that children see us choose joy in
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Situations that maybe there's not a lot of happiness, maybe
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That the happenings around us aren't going the way we want.
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And so for us to choose joy in those times can be some of the
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Most priceless teaching moments because happiness, sometimes it
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Just doesn't work out.
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But there is an unspeakable joy for us.
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Find it and show your children how to find it.
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Because life's not going to be easy for them in a lot of ways.
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And so when they have a model, a role model that
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Said, you know what?
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I remember my mom in the hardest of times.
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She chose to be joy-filled.
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She chose to be grateful.
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She chose to be thankful.
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And i think a lot of our joy comes from being grateful
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And thankful.
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So show them how to do it.
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- christian and i wanted to go to the renaissance fair.
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And barry's like, i'm not going to the renaissance fair.
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We're like, oh, please go.
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Come on, barry.
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And so we go, and they do camel rides, which i don't know if
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They had camels during the renaissance.
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But anyway, they were doing camel rides.
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I think that was like, maybe jesus. yeah.
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And they have a whole line of little children all lined up to
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Ride the camel.
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And christian's like, mom, i have a plan.
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And he said, dad, let's get into line
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For the camel so we're standing in line and
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He's already not thrilled for being there and doesn't
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Like camels.
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So when it came to us christian asked his dad
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To get on first and then we said to the guy
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Ok we're good.
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And we stood there and watched as barry by himself
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And there's a line of little kids thinking why is that
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Dude on the camel?
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But there's times when tension can be relieved.
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- yes, totally.
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- when you can just laugh. - yeah.
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- so i'm wondering, how has that impacted you guys as families?
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Like moments where finding something fun to do or finding
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The funny in something that's not necessarily funny, how has
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That been a rescuing moment for any of you?
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- i think, you know, my kids are a little bit younger.
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And so there are seasons when they're this young age,
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Especially when they were like toddlers and kind of, you know,
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You're really trying to, you know, give them some guidance.
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They really need you a lot when they're little.
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And, you know, we've got two girls.
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And the second one is very spirited.
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She's got so much, so many words she has to say.
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And she wants to have arguments and she wants to do
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These things.
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And so we will, at times, as a way to just, like, break the
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Tension, just start, like, smiling and laughing because she
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Is so passionate and she so badly wants to tell you all the
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Things and all the words and she wants to make her argument for
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Why something needs to be her way.
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And we will look at each other and be like, these are the days,
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These are the days we're gonna miss because we understand that
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If we allow, like, her very spirited personality to just
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Dominate every conversation or, you know, if we just give into
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Her and just do whatever she wants to do, that we're all
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Going to be probably a little bit miserable because we're
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Going to be doing that of, you know, a child.
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And so my husband and i will often look at each other and be
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Like, these are the days.
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And then, but it's like, and it's like if we can calm down,
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If we can have joy in our hearts, then our kids will see
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That, okay, our parents have taken a deep breath.
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They're not so stressed out.
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They're not, you know, just having a total panic and we're
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Not gonna just give in every time, but we're gonna recognize
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That, you know, we can still smile.
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Our relationship matters at this moment.
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How we handle these situations is gonna make a huge impact on
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Their lives, you know.
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And they'll remember that, that their parents weren't just
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Constantly, like, on them all the time.
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Like, go, go, go, you know.
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- it has always been, i mean, there's a lot of things that i
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Want to be known for or i want my kids to think about.
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Joy, hands down, is at the top, one of the top for me.
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I just, one, i just love to have fun.
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And i just don't want to take life too seriously.
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There's so many things that are serious.
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So it's like, but i think it's a really important perspective to
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Have when you don't take life so seriously.
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And, but i know it comes from my side of the family.
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I mean, my side of the family, though i said in a different
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Episode, we're also very fractured too.
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We are a lot of fun, maybe a little in reference sometimes
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But i love it.
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And we're the kinds who will play games till 2 or 3 in the
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Morning, just it's who we are and my brother when he comes to
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Holidays you might bring a few games and carry in a few you
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Know taboo or something, whatever games there are, he
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Brings a wagon to our house full of games.
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And this is just how we are.
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The lane household likes to have fun.
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We are lovers of jesus, but we like to have a lot of fun.
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And so it's always been really important to me that my kids,
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That we have memories together of having fun.
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And it doesn't even have to be expensive.
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It doesn't have to be big.
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For me, togetherness is so important.
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I don't actually really care what we're doing, but i will say
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Some fun traditions for us if we kind of make a night of it.
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We'll probably start with a game that we will play together, then
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We'll pop the popcorn, we'll get the m&ms, and then we'll go
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Watch a family movie.
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That's something really fun that we do.
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We also love to travel, so we have a lot of fun vacations that
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We've done together, and we try to take at least one trip a year
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Where we can really just spend time together.
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But really, for me, it's where my kids are, where my husband
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Is, we're going to have fun.
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I mean, it would not be unlike us to just turn up the music,
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Kind of move the furniture, and put on a dance party in the
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Middle of the living room.
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I mean, this is just the kind of family we are.
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So we have a lot of fun traditions, but the main thing
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Is it doesn't really matter what we're doing.
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For me, it matters who i'm doing it with.
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But one christmas, and it's interesting how the lord can use
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Something painful, but because i know that he is a restorer, like
00:09:43.506 --> 00:09:49.845
We talked about, he can turn it into joy.
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He takes our mourning and can turn it to joy.
00:09:53.049 --> 00:09:55.918
So we didn't know this was going to be my dad's last christmas.
00:09:55.918 --> 00:09:57.920
And so, unfortunately, i know she's going to watch this.
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This is why i'm laughing.
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My mom, she loves watching the show, so sorry, mom, but it is a
00:10:06.028 --> 00:10:10.900
Joke amongst me and my siblings because my mother having expired
00:10:10.900 --> 00:10:17.807
Goods in her home is just a common thing.
00:10:17.807 --> 00:10:21.744
We found a pickle jar from 1982.
00:10:21.744 --> 00:10:26.982
We have found spices from the 70s.
00:10:26.982 --> 00:10:30.086
I mean, this is just, and amongst my siblings, even maybe
00:10:30.086 --> 00:10:35.591
In our own little group chat, we're like, what did you find
00:10:35.591 --> 00:10:36.826
When you were at moms today in the pantry?
00:10:36.826 --> 00:10:38.360
You know, it's just one of those things.
00:10:38.360 --> 00:10:40.496
And so it's always a thing because she had put out, this
00:10:40.496 --> 00:10:43.766
Was christmas and we were all together and she'd put out some
00:10:43.766 --> 00:10:47.436
Meat for some, we were going to do like a taco pile up
00:10:47.436 --> 00:10:49.872
Or whatever.
00:10:49.872 --> 00:10:51.240
And one by one, we're all kind of walking by and we're seeing,
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We don't know how old, how long this meat's been in the freezer,
00:10:53.375 --> 00:10:57.580
But we've been, none of us really said anything...
00:10:57.580 --> 00:11:00.449
Well, unfortunately, that christmas, like two days, one
00:11:00.449 --> 00:11:03.753
Day later, actually, the next day, hands down, me, my brother,
00:11:03.753 --> 00:11:08.357
My sister-in-law, my sister, my dad, my mom, we all came down
00:11:08.357 --> 00:11:11.927
With the stomach bug.
00:11:11.927 --> 00:11:13.129
The stomach bug that was so bad, we all had to disperse
00:11:13.129 --> 00:11:16.232
And go home.
00:11:16.232 --> 00:11:17.967
Like, we couldn't all be in the same house because we were all
00:11:17.967 --> 00:11:19.635
Needing the restroom.
00:11:19.635 --> 00:11:20.903
We were all needing everything.
00:11:20.903 --> 00:11:22.571
This is terrible.
00:11:22.571 --> 00:11:24.774
And, of course, at the time, we're thinking of a stomach bug.
00:11:24.774 --> 00:11:27.943
You know, this is a virus or whatever, and it's a
00:11:27.943 --> 00:11:31.113
Three-day recovery.
00:11:31.113 --> 00:11:32.481
It was bad for all of us.
00:11:32.481 --> 00:11:34.617
Well, the next year, sadly, we lost my dad in november, and
00:11:34.617 --> 00:11:35.918
We're just looking for any moments to restore that.
00:11:35.918 --> 00:11:39.622
I mean, we're just heartbroken.
00:11:39.622 --> 00:11:42.958
And we'd come back to my mom's.
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I don't know how many months after my dad had passed away,
00:11:45.661 --> 00:11:47.062
But my mom had some meat sitting on the counter because she was
00:11:47.062 --> 00:11:51.801
Going to make tacos or something again. oh.
00:11:51.801 --> 00:11:53.836
Me and all my siblings we were like crying laughing
00:11:53.836 --> 00:11:56.705
We're like nobody eat the meat, nobody eat the meat.
00:11:56.705 --> 00:12:01.443
And of course to this day it could've still been a
00:12:01.443 --> 00:12:04.313
Stomach bug, it might not have been food
00:12:04.313 --> 00:12:06.215
Poisoning, we don't know what sent us all home.
00:12:06.215 --> 00:12:09.819
But it is a moment now where even though we were in such
00:12:09.819 --> 00:12:13.722
Such sadness and such mourning that our family had changed.
00:12:13.722 --> 00:12:17.793
I mean, our great patriarch of our family was no longer there.
00:12:17.793 --> 00:12:20.930
The lord still found this kind of bonding moment of the
00:12:20.930 --> 00:12:24.533
Christmas that we had with him last.
00:12:24.533 --> 00:12:26.635
Unfortunately, we're all throwing up in all sorts.
00:12:26.635 --> 00:12:29.905
But it was this, it will forever be stamped in our hearts and
00:12:29.905 --> 00:12:35.044
Minds about that christmas.
00:12:35.044 --> 00:12:36.445
And so anytime moving forward, i know i'm going to get so much.
00:12:36.445 --> 00:12:39.081
She's going to be so mad.
00:12:39.081 --> 00:12:41.250
- the group text is going to be great.
00:12:41.250 --> 00:12:42.117
- she's going to be so bad.
00:12:42.117 --> 00:12:43.519
But any time, we'll see some frozen meat sitting on
00:12:43.519 --> 00:12:47.022
The counter...
00:12:47.022 --> 00:12:48.390
We'll just think back to, we'll reference the christmas, last
00:12:48.390 --> 00:12:49.325
Christmas with dad when we were all--
00:12:49.325 --> 00:12:52.061
And so, but it's those kinds of things.
00:12:52.061 --> 00:12:54.029
Somehow, i think if you're able to orient your heart toward, i
00:12:54.029 --> 00:12:57.266
Believe jesus, he's full of joy.
00:12:57.266 --> 00:13:02.071
Like there's moments that are hard.
00:13:02.071 --> 00:13:04.206
But i think if we have the ability to live in the world we
00:13:04.206 --> 00:13:08.711
Live in and choose joy, i think it is a commodity that
00:13:08.711 --> 00:13:13.249
Is so important.
00:13:13.249 --> 00:13:17.386
- joy is an interesting word.
00:13:17.386 --> 00:13:19.688
A lot of people think, well, isn't joy just, you know, when
00:13:19.688 --> 00:13:22.191
You're really laughing, you're watching a tv show, and it's
00:13:22.191 --> 00:13:24.293
Just so funny?
00:13:24.293 --> 00:13:25.594
Joy is much, much more than just joking and laughter, although it
00:13:25.594 --> 00:13:30.633
Can be part of that because i think it's really good for
00:13:30.633 --> 00:13:32.768
Us to laugh.
00:13:32.768 --> 00:13:34.136
But the kind of joy that christ promises is a joy that we can
00:13:34.136 --> 00:13:38.207
Have even when things are not going the way that we
00:13:38.207 --> 00:13:39.541
Wish they were.
00:13:39.541 --> 00:13:41.911
I can remember walking through a season where everything felt
00:13:41.911 --> 00:13:44.680
Very dark, but even underneath all of that, there was
00:13:44.680 --> 00:13:47.583
This assurance.
00:13:47.583 --> 00:13:48.951
God is in control, god is good, and so we can experience joy.
00:13:48.951 --> 00:13:52.154
That's our prayer for you at better together.
00:13:52.154 --> 00:13:54.857
So even if you're walking through a difficult time, you
00:13:54.857 --> 00:13:59.161
Would know that the joy of the lord is your strength.
00:13:59.161 --> 00:14:01.630
- we want to hear from you.
00:14:01.630 --> 00:14:04.934
- connect with us on social media to ask a question or share
00:14:04.934 --> 00:14:07.436
A prayer request.
00:14:07.436 --> 00:14:08.604
- let's build each other up and get better together.
00:14:08.604 --> 00:14:10.839
- let's keep the conversation going.
00:14:10.839 --> 00:14:14.677
You can find the better together podcast on your favorite
00:14:14.677 --> 00:14:17.479
Listening platform.
00:14:17.479 --> 00:14:19.048
Subscribe today.
00:14:19.048 --> 00:14:24.003
Subscribe today.
00:14:24.003 --> 00:14:25.488
- and i think grief and joy, like grief is right here, and
00:14:26.723 --> 00:14:29.759
Then here's joy.
00:14:29.759 --> 00:14:31.194
And they're in, you know, opposite hands, and you just
00:14:31.194 --> 00:14:34.030
Switch whichever one's dominant for the day.
00:14:34.030 --> 00:14:36.132
- they walk side by side.
00:14:36.132 --> 00:14:38.368
And i mean, my story is about christmas, too.
00:14:37.267 --> 00:14:40.036
So my, i'm in a blended family.
00:14:40.036 --> 00:14:43.206
I've been married for 12 years.
00:14:43.206 --> 00:14:44.574
The first christmas, my late husband's family had all four of
00:14:44.574 --> 00:14:48.345
His grandparents.
00:14:48.345 --> 00:14:49.279
They were all in their 90s.
00:14:49.279 --> 00:14:50.580
So we did, like, my husband, when he went to florence with
00:14:50.580 --> 00:14:53.216
Us, he said, this is like the craziest thing i've ever seen.
00:14:53.216 --> 00:14:55.952
It's like four christmases the movie and no one was
00:14:55.952 --> 00:14:59.122
Divorced when they were all these families because i still
00:14:59.122 --> 00:15:02.125
See my first in-laws because i'm widowed twice.
00:15:02.125 --> 00:15:04.694
And so anyway, we were just, i mean, truly, like, i think eight
00:15:04.694 --> 00:15:07.397
Christmases in.
00:15:07.397 --> 00:15:08.732
So my husband knows, like, i got to, i got to, like, get in the
00:15:08.732 --> 00:15:13.236
Right mindset, right?
00:15:13.236 --> 00:15:14.537
And so, i mean, it's so sad because i will say grief is
00:15:14.537 --> 00:15:17.407
Always present at the holidays.
00:15:17.407 --> 00:15:20.443
I mean, and there is just this, there's sadness to it.
00:15:20.443 --> 00:15:24.647
And we knew that going in that seat, even though my husband is
00:15:24.647 --> 00:15:28.852
Sitting in that seat, there should be somebody else there to
00:15:28.852 --> 00:15:31.087
My in-laws, right?
00:15:31.087 --> 00:15:33.490
And so rod gets there and he knows he's been to my
00:15:33.490 --> 00:15:37.894
In-law's house.
00:15:37.894 --> 00:15:39.262
This might be the second time, but he sits down and he's like,
00:15:39.262 --> 00:15:44.167
Well, i'm going to sit across from rachel's wedding picture
00:15:44.167 --> 00:15:48.304
That is still on the wall, right, with my late husband and
00:15:48.304 --> 00:15:51.975
Here's my new husband, and he sits down.
00:15:51.975 --> 00:15:55.578
He's so proud of himself because he sits and, you know, across
00:15:55.578 --> 00:15:57.914
The way so we didn't have to see it.
00:15:57.914 --> 00:16:00.984
And there's a mirror right there, reflecting the photo for
00:16:00.984 --> 00:16:02.919
Him to see the entire time he's eating christmas dinner.
00:16:02.919 --> 00:16:07.057
And we still laugh about it.
00:16:07.057 --> 00:16:09.459
First of all, he had to go to all these christmases.
00:16:09.459 --> 00:16:11.694
I mean, it was just like, he was like, can we just, like, not go
00:16:11.694 --> 00:16:14.431
To, like, three or four of them?
00:16:14.431 --> 00:16:16.299
Is there any way?
00:16:16.299 --> 00:16:17.367
And i'm like, yes, yes.
00:16:17.367 --> 00:16:18.501
And then he sits down.
00:16:18.501 --> 00:16:19.702
And, i mean, it's still just this christmas memory.
00:16:19.702 --> 00:16:22.105
We got food poisoning on christmas as well, so i totally
00:16:22.105 --> 00:16:25.208
Relate, but it is, i think grief and joy when you learn to live
00:16:25.208 --> 00:16:29.245
In both, joy is the rescue to the overwhelming feelings
00:16:29.245 --> 00:16:33.149
Of grief.
00:16:33.149 --> 00:16:36.286
And when i learned that you can only experience a strong emotion
00:16:36.286 --> 00:16:39.389
For 90 seconds.
00:16:39.389 --> 00:16:43.059
So 90 seconds, you can experience, like, intense grief,
00:16:43.059 --> 00:16:47.130
You know, like intense sadness and i'm just like the levity to
00:16:47.130 --> 00:16:51.234
That is laughter, right?
00:16:51.234 --> 00:16:52.936
Laughter is great and laughter's good medicine.
00:16:52.936 --> 00:16:55.572
It's good medicine.
00:16:55.572 --> 00:16:56.906
- it is.
00:16:56.906 --> 00:16:58.241
- that is so great and it can also break the tension because
00:16:58.241 --> 00:16:59.509
It could sound terrible that we put barry on a camel and
00:16:59.509 --> 00:17:01.644
Abandoned him but he was he was in a bit of a bad mood, he
00:17:01.644 --> 00:17:06.649
Wasn't thrilled to be at the renaissance fair.
00:17:06.649 --> 00:17:08.518
And there was something about christian and i, we were just we
00:17:08.518 --> 00:17:11.588
Were literally we were on the ground laughing.
00:17:11.588 --> 00:17:13.923
It was so hilarious seeing this grown adult not happy on a camel
00:17:13.923 --> 00:17:16.960
And all these little children waiting in line.
00:17:16.960 --> 00:17:19.762
And when he saw us, he started to laugh.
00:17:19.762 --> 00:17:25.802
So by the time we got back around the whole thing, he was
00:17:25.802 --> 00:17:27.370
Crying and laughing.
00:17:27.370 --> 00:17:29.339
And it was just, i think it is a gift to us.
00:17:29.339 --> 00:17:31.074
I am a big believer in the power of laughter.
00:17:31.074 --> 00:17:34.844
Even if you ever bump into me at the airport, sit down beside me
00:17:34.844 --> 00:17:37.714
With my ipad and i'll show you i have all these british comedies
00:17:37.714 --> 00:17:41.451
On my ipad because life is too serious and too hard but i
00:17:41.451 --> 00:17:45.255
Really believe in infusing joy into our family as well because
00:17:45.255 --> 00:17:48.892
You know life's hard and life can you know you can have
00:17:48.892 --> 00:17:52.095
Conflict but there's something about when you're able to just
00:17:52.095 --> 00:17:54.898
Laugh about something or lighten the moment it helps everybody
00:17:54.898 --> 00:17:58.234
Out because none of us want to walk around be mad with each
00:17:58.234 --> 00:18:01.738
Other but sometimes it just makes one person to say, i'm
00:18:01.738 --> 00:18:04.407
Going to be the person that's going to lighten this moment.
00:18:04.407 --> 00:18:07.210
A lot of times in my family, that's my son.
00:18:07.210 --> 00:18:09.679
He's just so hilariously funny.
00:18:09.679 --> 00:18:13.082
And, but why not you?
00:18:13.082 --> 00:18:14.551
Why couldn't it be you?
00:18:14.551 --> 00:18:15.852
You could be the one that can inject joy into your family.
00:18:15.852 --> 00:18:18.454
It's pretty infectious.
00:18:18.454 --> 00:18:20.123
When you talk about grief and joy going hand in hand, i
00:18:20.123 --> 00:18:22.959
Remember when i was nursing my mother-in-law in the last maybe
00:18:22.959 --> 00:18:27.664
Three days of her life.
00:18:27.664 --> 00:18:29.899
And so we know that she's getting ready to be with jesus.
00:18:29.899 --> 00:18:32.468
And it's hard because she doesn't want to.
00:18:32.468 --> 00:18:35.438
She's only 64.
00:18:35.438 --> 00:18:36.306
And she has a grandson.
00:18:36.306 --> 00:18:39.776
You know, she doesn't want to die.
00:18:39.776 --> 00:18:40.777
I've taken her to so many healing meetings.
00:18:40.777 --> 00:18:43.213
And we went to some wacky meetings.
00:18:43.213 --> 00:18:44.781
But i took her to everywhere she wanted to go, we went and
00:18:44.781 --> 00:18:47.283
Believed in that.
00:18:47.283 --> 00:18:48.751
It was clear that god had taken her home.
00:18:48.751 --> 00:18:50.687
And i remember i'm sitting beside her on the bed and i'm
00:18:50.687 --> 00:18:53.389
Holding her hand.
00:18:53.389 --> 00:18:54.591
I'm talking to her, but what she wants me to do at her
00:18:54.591 --> 00:18:58.061
Memorial service.
00:18:58.061 --> 00:18:59.162
And i look out the window and there's christian
00:18:59.162 --> 00:19:00.663
Playing with the neighbor's cat, having this in depth
00:19:00.663 --> 00:19:02.765
Conversation with the cat, listen cat, i'm serious.
00:19:02.765 --> 00:19:05.902
You come over here now, there will be no more snacks
00:19:05.902 --> 00:19:08.171
For me, and it's incredible and i'm thinking this is life.
00:19:08.171 --> 00:19:12.609
It's like on one hand, you're saying goodbye, and
00:19:12.609 --> 00:19:16.879
On the other you're opening your hand to new things that
00:19:16.879 --> 00:19:18.681
Are happening.
00:19:18.681 --> 00:19:19.682
- i just don't think we are designed.
00:19:19.682 --> 00:19:21.818
We couldn't carry the pain of this world without the
00:19:21.818 --> 00:19:24.254
Relief of joy.
00:19:24.254 --> 00:19:26.456
We just, we're not designed to be able to carry that
00:19:26.456 --> 00:19:28.992
Kind of pain.
00:19:28.992 --> 00:19:30.293
- i think christians are the only ones that can rejoice and
00:19:30.293 --> 00:19:31.361
Have joy at the same time.
00:19:31.361 --> 00:19:32.729
Because that's a character of god.
00:19:32.729 --> 00:19:33.930
Joy to the world, the lord has come.
00:19:33.930 --> 00:19:37.333
The joy of the lord is my strength.
00:19:37.333 --> 00:19:40.270
So your joy comes from knowing god.
00:19:40.270 --> 00:19:43.840
And so, and that's such a gift.
00:19:43.840 --> 00:19:45.775
My husband always told me that in the hardest time of building
00:19:45.775 --> 00:19:50.546
This network, you know, when you're pioneers, you dig it out
00:19:50.546 --> 00:19:56.286
Of the dirt with your fingernails.
00:19:56.286 --> 00:19:57.987
And that's what my in-laws were doing 53 years ago,
00:19:57.987 --> 00:20:03.559
Just in hardships.
00:20:03.559 --> 00:20:04.327
And no one was on their side.
00:20:04.327 --> 00:20:05.728
You know, churches and pastors weren't for them because
00:20:05.728 --> 00:20:08.865
Suddenly christian television is going to take away my church and
00:20:08.865 --> 00:20:12.335
My congregation and our tithe and you know so nobody was for
00:20:12.335 --> 00:20:16.572
Them building tbn and some of their dearest friends where i
00:20:16.572 --> 00:20:21.811
Could mention names right now which people would just be blown
00:20:21.811 --> 00:20:24.480
Away by some of the pillars of the church back-- back in the
00:20:24.480 --> 00:20:29.852
Day were shaking their fingers in paul's face saying one
00:20:29.852 --> 00:20:32.288
Station is enough for you, you know, and people trying to gain
00:20:32.288 --> 00:20:37.627
Control of tbn.
00:20:37.627 --> 00:20:40.096
And just the stories were just heartbreaking.
00:20:40.096 --> 00:20:42.799
And they said, sure enough, time and time again, this little head
00:20:42.799 --> 00:20:49.072
Would pop up in between us in the car with his socks on his
00:20:49.072 --> 00:20:51.574
Hands, and he would, you know, be this person that was in the
00:20:51.574 --> 00:20:56.079
Room just now, and this person, and he would make a story and it
00:20:56.079 --> 00:20:59.082
Would just fill the car with joy and it was matthew and he is the
00:20:59.082 --> 00:21:03.019
One that always is the one that shows up even on the way to i
00:21:03.019 --> 00:21:07.590
Can't remember what happened but even on the way in this morning
00:21:07.590 --> 00:21:10.860
He was just lit all morning i told you guys he had a dream
00:21:10.860 --> 00:21:15.298
That he was he was having to take barry and me and sheila on
00:21:15.298 --> 00:21:20.670
A spartan race he said i'd get up and go to the bathroom, come
00:21:20.670 --> 00:21:24.974
Back and go back into that dream about carrying you guys through
00:21:24.974 --> 00:21:26.476
A spartan race.
00:21:26.476 --> 00:21:28.745
And he goes, sheila was like a tour guide.
00:21:28.745 --> 00:21:31.013
And all of a sudden, i'd look back and you guys were missing
00:21:31.013 --> 00:21:33.649
And i'd have to climb down the mountain.
00:21:33.649 --> 00:21:35.685
And i'm telling you, when he woke up, he was like literally
00:21:35.685 --> 00:21:37.720
In the middle of a spartan race.
00:21:37.720 --> 00:21:40.556
And i'm like going, you're not supposed to be up for the next
00:21:40.556 --> 00:21:42.525
Couple hours.
00:21:42.525 --> 00:21:43.493
You know, i need some time here.
00:21:43.493 --> 00:21:44.827
But he's so cute because if you ever have a moment where you
00:21:44.827 --> 00:21:47.964
Could get at each other, he'll go, you know, your eyes with
00:21:47.964 --> 00:21:51.634
That sweater on, your eyes turn steel gray and it looks
00:21:51.634 --> 00:21:55.238
So pretty on you and he always deflects stuff or says
00:21:55.238 --> 00:21:59.075
Something funny and you know i think we all
00:21:59.075 --> 00:22:02.945
Need to lighten up a little bit and that is a gift and
00:22:02.945 --> 00:22:06.516
Let things not be so serious.
00:22:06.516 --> 00:22:08.951
Because joy is god's character.
00:22:08.951 --> 00:22:12.755
- we can ask god for joy anytime because god has promised us that
00:22:12.755 --> 00:22:16.492
The joy of the lord will be our strength.
00:22:16.492 --> 00:22:19.095
And so that means that it's available to each and every
00:22:19.095 --> 00:22:21.731
One of us.
00:22:21.731 --> 00:22:23.032
So if you are lacking that today, let that be your prayer.
00:22:23.032 --> 00:22:24.734
Let that be your cry.
00:22:24.734 --> 00:22:26.068
Whether you're driving to work or you're, you know, sending a
00:22:26.068 --> 00:22:28.504
Tough email, ask the lord for joy.
00:22:28.504 --> 00:22:31.240
Ask the lord for that strength.
00:22:31.240 --> 00:22:32.842
- it's a great thing to model for our kids.
00:22:32.842 --> 00:22:36.479
I remember when barry and i were out in california and he'd
00:22:36.479 --> 00:22:39.682
Ordered something that was going to come for me that needed a
00:22:39.682 --> 00:22:41.784
Signature, and we weren't going to be home.
00:22:41.784 --> 00:22:44.353
So he'd said to our son, you know, do you mind coming over to
00:22:44.353 --> 00:22:47.323
The house and waiting for this fedex package?
00:22:47.323 --> 00:22:48.658
And i had no idea, christian was gonna have to wait six hours for
00:22:48.658 --> 00:22:51.994
This fedex package.
00:22:51.994 --> 00:22:53.563
But what he did was he took a series of photos.
00:22:53.563 --> 00:22:55.298
It was close to christmas time, and on the tree we had these
00:22:55.298 --> 00:22:57.567
Little birds that you just clip onto the tree.
00:22:57.567 --> 00:22:59.669
So in the first photograph, christian is at the front door
00:22:59.669 --> 00:23:03.039
With one bird in his hair.
00:23:03.039 --> 00:23:04.040
In the final photo, it's like an aviary.
00:23:04.040 --> 00:23:07.176
He's got like 12 birds on his head.
00:23:07.176 --> 00:23:09.145
And it was just, i just think it's a gift when you have
00:23:09.145 --> 00:23:12.782
Somebody in the family that can point out the silly little
00:23:12.782 --> 00:23:15.885
Moments and make you laugh.
00:23:15.885 --> 00:23:18.020
Like they went ziplining.
00:23:18.020 --> 00:23:19.722
Lisa harper took barry and christian ziplining.
00:23:19.722 --> 00:23:22.859
And christian did great.
00:23:22.859 --> 00:23:25.695
Barry gets stuck.
00:23:25.695 --> 00:23:27.597
And so i've got the video.
00:23:27.597 --> 00:23:29.131
I showed it to them last night, where he just got stuck halfway.
00:23:29.131 --> 00:23:30.967
He's not going anywhere.
00:23:30.967 --> 00:23:33.135
He's hanging over a mountain, and christian's yelling up,
00:23:33.135 --> 00:23:35.004
"don't worry, dad, i'm getting it all on film.'" i just, i
00:23:35.004 --> 00:23:37.807
Honestly think laughter is one of the things that's been the
00:23:37.807 --> 00:23:42.879
Greatest gift in our family, because there have been
00:23:42.879 --> 00:23:45.882
Hard things. yes.
00:23:45.882 --> 00:23:47.717
But when you get to laugh, it just diffuses now.
00:23:47.717 --> 00:23:49.785
- yes, yes.
00:23:49.785 --> 00:23:51.821
- i was in college when i remember somebody, it was kind
00:23:51.821 --> 00:23:53.322
Of being passed around.
00:23:53.322 --> 00:23:54.991
We didn't have the internet back then.
00:23:54.991 --> 00:23:56.659
I'm that old.
00:23:56.659 --> 00:23:57.894
But it was a picture that people had, and i don't know how
00:23:57.894 --> 00:24:00.530
Things were.
00:24:00.530 --> 00:24:01.497
It's so funny.
00:24:01.497 --> 00:24:02.431
I'm like, what did we do before phones?
00:24:02.431 --> 00:24:03.533
How did i get information?
00:24:03.533 --> 00:24:04.834
Whatever that was that we passed things around, i don't know.
00:24:04.834 --> 00:24:07.737
But somebody had rendered a drawing of jesus laughing. yes.
00:24:07.737 --> 00:24:11.407
Have you seen that picture?
00:24:11.407 --> 00:24:14.343
It is so beautiful.
00:24:14.343 --> 00:24:18.014
And, but what i loved about it, i think, why it kind of took off
00:24:18.014 --> 00:24:21.150
People is we don't think of him necessarily.
00:24:21.150 --> 00:24:23.819
We see him, we've seen images of him on the cross, that grueling
00:24:23.819 --> 00:24:27.990
Death that he, that he suffered.
00:24:27.990 --> 00:24:31.260
And we've seen the gentle come to me, like the children.
00:24:31.260 --> 00:24:34.697
Like, we've seen kindness and gentleness.
00:24:34.697 --> 00:24:36.566
But for somebody to render a print of him laughing
00:24:36.566 --> 00:24:39.535
Hysterically, and it's still 30 -plus years later, i can see it
00:24:39.535 --> 00:24:44.707
Like that because i hadn't really ever thought of him in
00:24:44.707 --> 00:24:46.842
That way.
00:24:46.842 --> 00:24:48.844
And i think it's so beautiful because i do, i
00:24:48.844 --> 00:24:52.214
Think the chosen.
00:24:52.214 --> 00:24:54.216
I love that series, but they depict moments of him where he's
00:24:54.216 --> 00:24:57.486
Just hanging with his friends and he's laughing.
00:24:57.486 --> 00:25:00.156
And i don't know if in the world we live in, we can see all the
00:25:00.156 --> 00:25:05.595
Things that are hard.
00:25:05.595 --> 00:25:08.364
And i think it's a choice to think of him in that way.
00:25:08.364 --> 00:25:13.169
But i know for me, when i think of him that way, it makes me
00:25:13.169 --> 00:25:15.838
Want to live more joyfully when i think of that characteristic
00:25:15.838 --> 00:25:18.841
Of him. yeah.
00:25:18.841 --> 00:25:20.977
- you know, sometimes when i've been broken-hearted or things
00:25:22.278 --> 00:25:25.915
Haven't worked out the way, i know that i have joy on the
00:25:25.915 --> 00:25:28.985
Inside because i have god.
00:25:28.985 --> 00:25:31.253
He is the joy of the world.
00:25:31.253 --> 00:25:33.356
Joy to the world the lord has come.
00:25:33.356 --> 00:25:36.592
Having the lord in my life.
00:25:36.592 --> 00:25:39.295
There is nothing that can get me in a pit of despair
00:25:39.295 --> 00:25:42.031
Because i have a joy unspeakable and it comes from
00:25:42.031 --> 00:25:44.800
Christ and christ alone.
00:25:44.800 --> 00:25:46.802
- i think too, we do this a lot with the widows when they come
00:25:46.802 --> 00:25:51.040
On retreats and conferences because when you're in grief
00:25:51.040 --> 00:25:54.810
And you're in hard things...
00:25:54.810 --> 00:25:55.945
- so you set up a whole conference that's part of
00:25:55.945 --> 00:25:58.247
Your ministry?
00:25:58.247 --> 00:25:59.148
- for widows, yes, yes.
00:25:59.148 --> 00:26:03.019
But you don't realize that in grief and in pain, your circuits
00:26:03.019 --> 00:26:05.054
For joy are dimmed.
00:26:05.054 --> 00:26:07.823
And so jim wilder's done a lot of brain science work, and so he
00:26:07.823 --> 00:26:11.494
Helps you reconnect the brain to joy.
00:26:11.494 --> 00:26:13.996
- oh, wow.
00:26:13.996 --> 00:26:16.599
And the way you do it is you go into a joy-filled memory that's
00:26:16.599 --> 00:26:19.335
Not splintered.
00:26:19.335 --> 00:26:21.170
It's not like involving your husband who passed away, or
00:26:21.170 --> 00:26:24.006
Your, you know, kid who's in treatment, whatever it is.
00:26:24.006 --> 00:26:26.308
And so you go into a joyful memory.
00:26:26.308 --> 00:26:28.344
It can be really simple, just a moment, like you're talking
00:26:28.344 --> 00:26:31.280
About with barry and the kid, you know, and the camel and the
00:26:31.280 --> 00:26:33.749
Whole thing.
00:26:33.749 --> 00:26:35.084
You go into that memory, and then you see it, you taste it,
00:26:35.084 --> 00:26:37.420
You feel it, you know, all the things.
00:26:37.420 --> 00:26:39.789
You go through your senses, and then you invite jesus into that
00:26:39.789 --> 00:26:41.991
Picture, and it reconnects the brain to joy, because joy is a
00:26:41.991 --> 00:26:45.561
Reset for the brain, right?
00:26:45.561 --> 00:26:47.596
But it's hard to get there when you're in grief and in pain, and
00:26:47.596 --> 00:26:50.232
It's such a weapon.
00:26:50.232 --> 00:26:52.802
- i love that.
00:26:52.802 --> 00:26:53.736
That is really cool.
00:26:53.736 --> 00:26:54.837
- it's something anybody listening can do at home.
00:26:54.837 --> 00:26:56.739
You just go into that joyful memory, and then you just see
00:26:56.739 --> 00:27:00.109
It, and you go through all your senses, and you go slowly, you
00:27:00.109 --> 00:27:03.546
Know, like, what did the air feel like?
00:27:03.546 --> 00:27:05.715
What did i, you know, what did i taste?
00:27:05.715 --> 00:27:07.483
What was i seeing?
00:27:07.483 --> 00:27:09.251
You know, who was there?
00:27:09.251 --> 00:27:10.386
It's really powerful.
00:27:10.386 --> 00:27:11.787
It is very powerful.
00:27:11.787 --> 00:27:12.722
And that's what we do.
00:27:12.722 --> 00:27:14.056
And i do it with anybody who's struggling to experience joy.
00:27:14.056 --> 00:27:18.894
I think joy is a weapon.
00:27:18.894 --> 00:27:21.263
And for us, we are a family that loves to laugh.
00:27:21.263 --> 00:27:24.967
And i believe that the most spiritual thing you can do
00:27:24.967 --> 00:27:28.671
Sometimes is just laugh about the problem.
00:27:28.671 --> 00:27:31.140
Sometimes taking a nap and laughing about it are just
00:27:31.140 --> 00:27:33.876
Absolutely healing.
00:27:33.876 --> 00:27:36.746
And it is and has been for us.
00:27:36.746 --> 00:27:39.482
I know when we do things that bring us joy, whether it's doing
00:27:39.482 --> 00:27:43.652
Something together, whether it's something simple, like a joy
00:27:43.652 --> 00:27:48.324
Filled experience of just getting ice cream together, i
00:27:48.324 --> 00:27:54.196
Mean, just the silly things in life, it absolutely heals
00:27:54.196 --> 00:27:56.832
All of us.
00:27:56.832 --> 00:27:58.167
I read a thing the other day about children in some country,
00:27:58.167 --> 00:28:02.505
I can't remember, but they would teach them that if you go to
00:28:02.505 --> 00:28:07.276
Sleep every night, and so as this can happen too, so much can
00:28:07.276 --> 00:28:11.847
Be on your mind when you go to bed, you know, that can keep you
00:28:11.847 --> 00:28:15.184
Awake or whatever.
00:28:15.184 --> 00:28:16.519
They say, think of something in your day that was happy and
00:28:16.519 --> 00:28:19.455
Whatever, whatever it is or something or a memory that is
00:28:19.455 --> 00:28:24.560
Full of joy and let that be your last thoughts.
00:28:24.560 --> 00:28:28.230
And they say that sleeping and all of that was just off the
00:28:28.230 --> 00:28:32.468
Charts for kids. wow.
00:28:32.468 --> 00:28:34.603
You know, instead of talking about the bad things in your
00:28:34.603 --> 00:28:37.907
Day, talk about the fun and the good things and go to sleep
00:28:37.907 --> 00:28:41.744
Like that.
00:28:41.744 --> 00:28:42.478
And i've started doing that.
00:28:42.478 --> 00:28:43.345
I love that.
00:28:43.345 --> 00:28:44.680
It's not like you go to bed with negative thoughts every night,
00:28:44.680 --> 00:28:46.816
But i just thought, you know what?
00:28:46.816 --> 00:28:48.784
I'm just going to start thinking about that because i can think
00:28:48.784 --> 00:28:51.020
About my two boys and things that they've done that i can
00:28:51.020 --> 00:28:53.455
Just drop on the ground funny, you know.
00:28:53.455 --> 00:28:55.057
And so i just think of that, and i'm telling you that
00:28:55.057 --> 00:28:59.929
Has changed.
00:28:59.929 --> 00:29:01.664
And also i wanted to say, my mother, you mentioned my mother
00:29:01.664 --> 00:29:04.300
In law a while ago. - yes.
00:29:04.300 --> 00:29:06.001
- jane crouch suffered terrible depression for a couple years.
00:29:06.001 --> 00:29:15.010
She had two boys, two younger boys, and they were maybe eight
00:29:15.010 --> 00:29:19.148
And 10, and she would just stay in her bedroom for days.
00:29:19.148 --> 00:29:22.451
She wouldn't cook.
00:29:22.451 --> 00:29:23.786
She wouldn't, you know, and matt says, i just remember her just
00:29:23.786 --> 00:29:26.188
Kind of being gone and my dad taking care of us for a while.
00:29:26.188 --> 00:29:28.557
And she one night went to bed.
00:29:28.557 --> 00:29:32.094
And of course, they're christians and they're building
00:29:32.094 --> 00:29:34.296
Tbn and they're doing their thing.
00:29:34.296 --> 00:29:36.832
And she went to sleep one night.
00:29:36.832 --> 00:29:39.668
And she had always thought about just walking into the ocean, you
00:29:39.668 --> 00:29:42.004
Know, just those thoughts and stuff.
00:29:42.004 --> 00:29:44.306
And she said, i went into a dream, and she said, i was
00:29:44.306 --> 00:29:47.810
Walking along the sea of galilee. - wow.
00:29:47.810 --> 00:29:51.080
- and she said, i saw some people as i'm just walking.
00:29:51.080 --> 00:29:55.050
And she says, i see some men way up in front.
00:29:55.050 --> 00:29:57.686
And she says, as i walked and got closer, she said, it was
00:29:57.686 --> 00:30:01.957
Jesus and his disciples.
00:30:01.957 --> 00:30:03.859
And they were all just sitting on the beach there at the sea of
00:30:03.859 --> 00:30:08.464
Galilee, and they were laughing.
00:30:08.464 --> 00:30:12.534
And you could hear the laughter and then the talk and then
00:30:12.534 --> 00:30:15.437
The laughter.
00:30:15.437 --> 00:30:16.739
And she says, as i got closer, she said, jesus turned to me
00:30:16.739 --> 00:30:19.041
Laughing and just looked at me and stared at me, but he
00:30:19.041 --> 00:30:22.878
Was laughing.
00:30:22.878 --> 00:30:24.680
And she said, when i woke up, i was crying with joy.
00:30:24.680 --> 00:30:26.916
And she hadn't been able to cry.
00:30:26.916 --> 00:30:29.985
She hadn't been able to...
00:30:29.985 --> 00:30:31.553
And she said that was absolute healing and she never suffered
00:30:31.553 --> 00:30:35.357
With it again.
00:30:35.357 --> 00:30:36.258
She never had it again.
00:30:36.258 --> 00:30:37.626
She said, jesus, looking at me, just head back, laughing, you
00:30:37.626 --> 00:30:43.465
Know, and so...
00:30:43.465 --> 00:30:45.601
- that's a beautiful picture.
00:30:45.601 --> 00:30:46.936
- that's something we can all just think about and take to
00:30:46.936 --> 00:30:48.938
Heart, you know.
00:30:48.938 --> 00:30:50.039
I think sometimes people think our circumstances
00:30:50.039 --> 00:30:55.077
Have to change.
00:30:55.077 --> 00:30:56.445
If i'm going to experience joy, then this has to change and that
00:30:56.445 --> 00:30:58.714
Has to change.
00:30:58.714 --> 00:31:00.049
And, you know, that's the kind of joy or happiness you would
00:31:00.049 --> 00:31:03.819
Seek if you didn't know the lord at all.
00:31:03.819 --> 00:31:05.854
But he has promised joy to those of us who love him, that it's
00:31:05.854 --> 00:31:09.358
Available to you right now.
00:31:09.358 --> 00:31:11.026
You might be in some of the most difficult days of your life.
00:31:11.026 --> 00:31:14.730
You might be facing a situation right now where you're thinking,
00:31:14.730 --> 00:31:18.300
How can i possibly know joy?
00:31:18.300 --> 00:31:21.470
What joy really is is this quiet, confidence that god's in
00:31:21.470 --> 00:31:26.342
Control, he sees you, he's got hold of your situation, and
00:31:26.342 --> 00:31:29.211
He is with you, you are not alone.
00:31:29.211 --> 00:31:32.047
And because of that, even now, you can begin to give thanks
00:31:32.047 --> 00:31:35.918
Because god's got this.
00:31:35.918 --> 00:31:37.820
Because, i mean, think about when you even mentioned, you
00:31:37.820 --> 00:31:41.557
Know, children in other countries, when i went to india
00:31:41.557 --> 00:31:44.893
In the 90s, part of what we did was minister, we straight
00:31:44.893 --> 00:31:49.598
Evangelized to children and we worked in schools and we, and,
00:31:49.598 --> 00:31:52.301
You know, you find out really quickly that joy is not
00:31:52.301 --> 00:31:55.537
Circumstantial.
00:31:55.537 --> 00:31:58.273
- that's right.
00:31:58.273 --> 00:32:00.109
- that you don't have to have everything going well for you to
00:32:00.109 --> 00:32:02.311
Find joy.
00:32:02.311 --> 00:32:03.679
In fact, it's often when things aren't because these children
00:32:03.679 --> 00:32:06.448
Had nothing.
00:32:06.448 --> 00:32:08.250
I mean, really nothing.
00:32:08.250 --> 00:32:11.920
And they were the most joyful joyful children.
00:32:11.920 --> 00:32:15.090
And i think almost maybe in our western culture, we struggle
00:32:15.090 --> 00:32:18.460
More to find the joy when we have so much offered to us.
00:32:18.460 --> 00:32:23.265
We have so much at our fingertips.
00:32:23.265 --> 00:32:24.600
I think maybe that's even why jesus says, come like a child.
00:32:24.600 --> 00:32:27.236
Because they haven't been tainted with the cares of
00:32:27.236 --> 00:32:31.740
The world.
00:32:31.740 --> 00:32:32.374
They're still so joyful.
00:32:32.374 --> 00:32:33.308
For such is the kingdom of heaven.
00:32:33.308 --> 00:32:35.477
I think we all look for happiness.
00:32:35.477 --> 00:32:37.379
Well, happiness is what happens to us that gives happiness, but
00:32:37.379 --> 00:32:40.215
Joy comes from the lord.
00:32:40.215 --> 00:32:44.620
- and there's the strength that comes with that and
00:32:44.620 --> 00:32:47.556
We often forget, or we think it is just a smile
00:32:47.556 --> 00:32:50.426
On our face or that if i can just look happy.
00:32:50.426 --> 00:32:53.595
But it's really from within and what the lord gives to us.
00:32:53.595 --> 00:32:58.267
And so there have been many times in my life
00:32:58.267 --> 00:33:00.669
Where you don't feel happy and you don't feel
00:33:00.669 --> 00:33:03.372
Like doing something, but if you could just get to yourself and
00:33:03.372 --> 00:33:08.143
Say, okay, well, the joy of the lord is my strength, and i can
00:33:08.143 --> 00:33:09.812
Do this if i can do it with the lord, and you know, under his
00:33:09.812 --> 00:33:14.183
Strength and not on my own, that i can get through to
00:33:14.183 --> 00:33:17.252
The other side.
00:33:17.252 --> 00:33:18.087
And people see that.
00:33:18.087 --> 00:33:19.588
They see when your countenance is, you know, this world has
00:33:19.588 --> 00:33:23.459
Kind of beat people down and they kind of, you know, kind of
00:33:23.459 --> 00:33:26.195
Your shoulder shrugged and you're kind walking that way and
00:33:26.195 --> 00:33:28.797
You don't carry yourself with the, you know, the light of the
00:33:28.797 --> 00:33:31.834
World on the inside of you.
00:33:31.834 --> 00:33:33.168
But when we're filled with, you know, the spirit and we, you
00:33:33.168 --> 00:33:36.004
Know, have this relationship with the lord, it will just ooze
00:33:36.004 --> 00:33:39.942
Out of us.
00:33:39.942 --> 00:33:41.076
And the way that we treat people will be different.
00:33:41.076 --> 00:33:42.211
The way that we treat our children, our family, our
00:33:42.211 --> 00:33:44.780
Friends, strangers on the street, they will know us by our
00:33:44.780 --> 00:33:47.349
Fruits and, you know, the joy of the lord, you know, is
00:33:47.349 --> 00:33:50.085
Definitely one of them.
00:33:50.085 --> 00:33:51.954
And everyone can experience that joy through you, through your
00:33:51.954 --> 00:33:55.924
Connections, whether it's at the grocery store or it's at the
00:33:55.924 --> 00:33:59.495
Park or wherever it is, if you just remind yourself of that,
00:33:59.495 --> 00:34:03.332
That whatever is happening in the world is gonna happen, but
00:34:03.332 --> 00:34:05.968
That you can still find strength in the joy that comes from
00:34:05.968 --> 00:34:09.338
The lord.
00:34:09.338 --> 00:34:10.639
- it was a song we used to sing about the joy of the lord.
00:34:10.639 --> 00:34:12.674
The world doesn't have it, the world can't give it, and the
00:34:12.674 --> 00:34:15.310
World can't take it away.
00:34:15.310 --> 00:34:16.678
And you know, as believers were called on in a lot of ways to
00:34:16.678 --> 00:34:20.082
Offer other things.
00:34:20.082 --> 00:34:22.317
If there's grieving, we're called on for our empathy and
00:34:22.317 --> 00:34:25.721
For our care and our compassion.
00:34:25.721 --> 00:34:27.689
So it's actually being called upon us sometimes to offer joy
00:34:27.689 --> 00:34:32.327
To someone.
00:34:32.327 --> 00:34:33.996
I think as a widow, i always felt too busy, and i always felt
00:34:33.996 --> 00:34:38.233
Too tired to make moments of joy happen.
00:34:38.233 --> 00:34:40.469
But i look back, and this is how we learn, right?
00:34:40.469 --> 00:34:44.139
You look back on your life, and when i did push through to
00:34:44.139 --> 00:34:46.842
Muster up the energy, to not think about how tired i was, but
00:34:46.842 --> 00:34:50.479
To think about the memory that i was making for my kids, those
00:34:50.479 --> 00:34:53.282
Are the moments that my kids still talk about.
00:34:53.282 --> 00:34:57.486
It's the silly little things.
00:34:57.486 --> 00:34:59.521
It really wasn't those big trips, like the big trip to
00:34:59.521 --> 00:35:02.457
Disney world that i thought was going to solve all of
00:35:02.457 --> 00:35:04.026
Our problems.
00:35:04.026 --> 00:35:05.394
It was the little small moments of, you know, getting ice cream,
00:35:05.394 --> 00:35:09.231
Going to the park, going to mcdonald's, and going through
00:35:09.231 --> 00:35:11.533
The drive-thru, you know, and singing a silly song and waving
00:35:11.533 --> 00:35:14.203
Our hands up with worship music.
00:35:14.203 --> 00:35:16.939
Those are the things that they remember.
00:35:16.939 --> 00:35:19.308
And so i will say, pushing through when you're tired is the
00:35:19.308 --> 00:35:22.945
Greatest gift that you'll ever give your kids.
00:35:22.945 --> 00:35:25.180
I see joy and fun as an expression of god's character in
00:35:25.180 --> 00:35:33.755
Our home by truly just being together and realizing that our
00:35:33.755 --> 00:35:37.960
Home is is not just a place filled with responsibility
00:35:37.960 --> 00:35:41.697
Filled with work but it's a place of joy, it's a place of
00:35:41.697 --> 00:35:45.033
Rest, it's a place of peace.
00:35:45.033 --> 00:35:46.702
So it is truly like my heart as a mom that i want the people
00:35:46.702 --> 00:35:50.372
Who enter my home, whether that is my children, my husband,
00:35:50.372 --> 00:35:52.941
Or even guests, i want them to feel the joy of the lord
00:35:52.941 --> 00:35:55.944
Because i know jesus is full of joy
00:35:55.944 --> 00:35:59.081
As much as he's also full of grace and
00:35:59.081 --> 00:36:02.251
Compassion he is full of joy and i want to reflect the heart of
00:36:02.251 --> 00:36:05.554
Christ so there will be joy in my home.
00:36:05.554 --> 00:36:07.723
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♪ (music playing) ♪
00:36:21.005 --> 00:36:27.109
- i believe it is never too late to start creating joy in
00:36:27.109 --> 00:36:29.311
Your home.
00:36:29.311 --> 00:36:31.179
Maybe you didn't grow up in a family where there was a lot of
00:36:31.179 --> 00:36:33.448
Joy, but don't you think it'd be amazing if you were the one who
00:36:33.448 --> 00:36:35.584
Began something?
00:36:35.584 --> 00:36:37.185
And it's just, you don't even have to have great
00:36:37.185 --> 00:36:39.554
Creative ideas.
00:36:39.554 --> 00:36:40.722
You can start with little things.
00:36:40.722 --> 00:36:42.724
I remember when my son came home from school with a bad report
00:36:42.724 --> 00:36:44.559
Card, well, he thought it was bad, and i did not.
00:36:44.559 --> 00:36:46.595
He had one b, all the rest were a's.
00:36:46.595 --> 00:36:50.165
So i sat in a chair right in the middle of the kitchen, asked him
00:36:50.165 --> 00:36:52.834
To sit down, and i went upstairs, and i got a trumpet.
00:36:52.834 --> 00:36:55.070
And i marched around and played the trumpet, and i said, that's
00:36:55.070 --> 00:36:57.706
How i'm going to feel about you for the rest of your life.
00:36:57.706 --> 00:36:59.841
You can be the one who decides from now on there's going to be
00:36:59.841 --> 00:37:03.845
Joy within these four walls.
00:37:03.845 --> 00:37:08.917
I'm thinking, i mean, it's making me laugh in my mind
00:37:10.052 --> 00:37:14.623
Thinking about this particular story, how the lord used it.
00:37:14.623 --> 00:37:15.824
You know, we're talking about family this week.
00:37:15.824 --> 00:37:17.693
And as a mom, i was carrying this desire to be closer
00:37:17.693 --> 00:37:21.229
To my son.
00:37:21.229 --> 00:37:24.399
He was at that age where, you know, with girls, i think
00:37:24.399 --> 00:37:26.368
You're, as the mom, you're close forever with all your kids.
00:37:26.368 --> 00:37:29.037
But as the girls grow up, i feel like i got closer to them
00:37:29.037 --> 00:37:32.140
Because i'm teaching them how to be a young woman.
00:37:32.140 --> 00:37:34.776
I'm teaching.
00:37:34.776 --> 00:37:36.178
But as my son grew up, he really needed his father more in a lot
00:37:36.178 --> 00:37:39.614
Of areas.
00:37:39.614 --> 00:37:40.949
And i was, it was in that age, i think he was 15, 16, that i felt
00:37:40.949 --> 00:37:43.285
The pulling away.
00:37:43.285 --> 00:37:44.886
And my mama's heart couldn't handle it.
00:37:44.886 --> 00:37:47.356
I was just, i just didn't want it.
00:37:47.356 --> 00:37:49.191
I just adored him.
00:37:49.191 --> 00:37:51.727
And he wasn't pulling away from us as a family, just growing up
00:37:51.727 --> 00:37:54.329
And needed his dad more.
00:37:54.329 --> 00:37:56.898
And so i had just kind of even prayed, you know, just give me
00:37:56.898 --> 00:37:59.668
Something that i can share with him or that i can have with him.
00:37:59.668 --> 00:38:02.437
I did not know the story i'm about to tell you.
00:38:02.437 --> 00:38:04.473
I did not know this is what god would do.
00:38:04.473 --> 00:38:05.941
But so we had gone on a trip to mexico as an all-inclusive that
00:38:05.941 --> 00:38:10.445
We took all the kids on.
00:38:10.445 --> 00:38:12.314
And they had one of those surfing things where you, you
00:38:12.314 --> 00:38:15.283
Know, the simulated surfer and you can get on and you can do
00:38:15.283 --> 00:38:18.086
The little boogie board.
00:38:18.086 --> 00:38:19.721
And somebody had told me, make sure you wear a one piece
00:38:19.721 --> 00:38:22.591
Because if not, it'll take your bottoms right off, which
00:38:22.591 --> 00:38:24.226
Is fine.
00:38:24.226 --> 00:38:26.395
Yeah, i'm sorry, i'm sorry.
00:38:26.395 --> 00:38:27.829
And so, because there's a lot of force, i'm so sorry.
00:38:27.829 --> 00:38:30.165
And so i get up, and there's a long line.
00:38:30.165 --> 00:38:34.169
And so it's me and harrison in the line with a bunch of other
00:38:34.169 --> 00:38:38.507
People waiting to go.
00:38:38.507 --> 00:38:40.208
And it's my turn.
00:38:40.208 --> 00:38:41.576
I go before him.
00:38:41.576 --> 00:38:42.844
And i have on a little one shoulder, one piece, super cute.
00:38:42.844 --> 00:38:45.147
And i get it.
00:38:45.147 --> 00:38:47.115
Of course.
00:38:47.115 --> 00:38:48.183
If i do say so much.
00:38:48.183 --> 00:38:49.451
And they coach me, you know, they're holding me, and i'm
00:38:49.451 --> 00:38:51.586
Feeling it.
00:38:51.586 --> 00:38:52.587
And i'm like, okay, i think i can do it.
00:38:52.587 --> 00:38:53.722
And so the instructor kind of lets off his hand.
00:38:53.722 --> 00:38:55.791
And i immediately, i mean, it takes me under.
00:38:55.791 --> 00:38:57.559
I have zero ability to surf.
00:38:57.559 --> 00:39:01.062
It takes me under.
00:39:01.062 --> 00:39:02.397
It devils me over.
00:39:02.397 --> 00:39:03.632
And it sends me up on this ledge.
00:39:03.632 --> 00:39:05.434
And i'm coming up.
00:39:05.434 --> 00:39:07.736
And i'm like, i mean, i can't see anything.
00:39:07.736 --> 00:39:09.104
My hair's in front of my face.
00:39:09.104 --> 00:39:11.273
I'm blowing water out of my nose and my mouth.
00:39:11.273 --> 00:39:13.475
And all i see, i look over it.
00:39:13.475 --> 00:39:15.710
And all i see is my son.
00:39:15.710 --> 00:39:17.078
His eyes are this big.
00:39:17.078 --> 00:39:18.280
And he's like, mom, mom, mom, mom.
00:39:18.280 --> 00:39:19.614
That's all i can hear him yelling.
00:39:19.614 --> 00:39:21.216
Mom, mom, mom, mom.
00:39:21.216 --> 00:39:22.918
All i can hear and i look down and my swimsuit has completely
00:39:22.918 --> 00:39:28.690
Come down and there's a line of people and i'm standing up
00:39:28.690 --> 00:39:32.828
Trying to get the water out i have no idea and all i can see
00:39:32.828 --> 00:39:36.798
Is my son going mom, mom, mom!
00:39:36.798 --> 00:39:38.600
This is nothing you dream your son will have to do.
00:39:38.600 --> 00:39:41.102
It's the worst nightmare ever of my life, ever.
00:39:41.102 --> 00:39:45.073
At that moment, i literally thought, just take me to heaven.
00:39:45.073 --> 00:39:48.710
I cannot.
00:39:48.710 --> 00:39:49.778
He can't unsee this.
00:39:49.778 --> 00:39:50.545
He cannot unsee this.
00:39:50.545 --> 00:39:51.780
Nor will all the other people ever unsee this moment.
00:39:51.780 --> 00:39:54.916
Just take me to heaven.
00:39:54.916 --> 00:39:56.184
I had to do the walk of shame.
00:39:56.184 --> 00:39:57.419
I had to get off and walk in front of everybody to leave.
00:39:57.419 --> 00:40:00.121
The worst scenario ever.
00:40:00.121 --> 00:40:01.790
But i'm telling you to this day, he'll walk in a room and he'll
00:40:01.790 --> 00:40:07.095
Be like, mom, mom, mom.
00:40:07.095 --> 00:40:09.297
I mean, he'll just, i mean, we'll just, and i literally, i
00:40:09.297 --> 00:40:11.900
Will cry laughing.
00:40:11.900 --> 00:40:14.102
The moment is so seared into a memory, and it is a moment,
00:40:14.102 --> 00:40:16.338
Though i wish it never would have happened.
00:40:16.338 --> 00:40:18.640
And that way, he and i, it's our little hilarious thing that did
00:40:18.640 --> 00:40:21.877
Not want to happen, but it is, and in the weirdest way, it's
00:40:21.877 --> 00:40:27.682
Joy-filled, not because i wish that would have happened.
00:40:27.682 --> 00:40:31.219
Because it connected us, and it's now this kind of thing that
00:40:31.219 --> 00:40:34.155
I have with him.
00:40:34.155 --> 00:40:35.390
Dad doesn't have that.
00:40:35.390 --> 00:40:36.725
You know, that experience was lived alone with us and 10 other
00:40:36.725 --> 00:40:40.629
People, unfortunately.
00:40:40.629 --> 00:40:41.863
He will say it's one of the worst moments of his life.
00:40:41.863 --> 00:40:43.932
I mean, hands down, easy.
00:40:43.932 --> 00:40:46.001
Whatever it takes.
00:40:46.001 --> 00:40:47.502
But whatever it takes.
00:40:47.502 --> 00:40:48.837
This is, when we surrender to the lord, we say, lord, whatever
00:40:48.837 --> 00:40:51.239
It takes.
00:40:51.239 --> 00:40:52.207
Whatever it takes to bond our children.
00:40:52.207 --> 00:40:54.075
I don't know why embarrassing moments have to happen.
00:40:54.075 --> 00:40:56.511
But i do believe, well, god will use them for good because it did
00:40:56.511 --> 00:40:59.114
Something that is just funny.
00:40:59.114 --> 00:41:02.584
And i think god knew for me to relate to my son.
00:41:02.584 --> 00:41:05.253
I have to relate to him on a funny level now.
00:41:05.253 --> 00:41:07.289
Now he's 22.
00:41:07.289 --> 00:41:09.090
And i can't mother him in the same way.
00:41:09.090 --> 00:41:12.360
So looking for those points of joy are a really good connector.
00:41:12.360 --> 00:41:17.432
So that story, unfortunately, is just to encourage someone
00:41:17.432 --> 00:41:21.937
That's listening.
00:41:21.937 --> 00:41:23.271
But, you know, there may be a moment in your parenting that
00:41:23.271 --> 00:41:25.140
You think is a terrible moment, but maybe in hindsight, you'll
00:41:25.140 --> 00:41:28.577
Be able to see god using it for something.
00:41:28.577 --> 00:41:30.712
- my family's had its fair share of difficult times and difficult
00:41:30.712 --> 00:41:35.450
Moments, and i'm really quick to try to look in the eyes of my
00:41:35.450 --> 00:41:40.088
Children and see if they're kind of carrying the weight of the
00:41:40.088 --> 00:41:42.691
World on them.
00:41:42.691 --> 00:41:44.960
And when i see that and when i can identify that, i try to find
00:41:44.960 --> 00:41:46.595
These moments where my kids can have a dance break, have a
00:41:46.595 --> 00:41:49.631
Worship moment, and really put that smile back on their faces,
00:41:49.631 --> 00:41:52.968
Whether that's because of a bad sports game or maybe a
00:41:52.968 --> 00:41:55.804
Bad test score.
00:41:55.804 --> 00:41:57.372
If i could just turn that around with a little bit of joy, i can
00:41:57.372 --> 00:42:00.609
See that those children of mine are going to shape the way that
00:42:00.609 --> 00:42:04.279
They handle hardships in the future.
00:42:04.279 --> 00:42:06.014
- but also, it can be something that's healing with your
00:42:06.014 --> 00:42:09.284
Husband, too.
00:42:09.284 --> 00:42:11.453
You can have those moments because before we were married,
00:42:11.453 --> 00:42:12.454
Barry would tease me.
00:42:12.454 --> 00:42:14.756
I'm very modest.
00:42:14.756 --> 00:42:16.091
I mean, i would never wear anything even
00:42:16.091 --> 00:42:18.226
Slightly revealing.
00:42:18.226 --> 00:42:19.294
He would try to get me to wear shorter dresses.
00:42:19.294 --> 00:42:20.295
And i'm like, absolutely not.
00:42:20.295 --> 00:42:21.963
I've got scottish knees.
00:42:21.963 --> 00:42:22.964
You don't need to see them.
00:42:22.964 --> 00:42:24.299
And so he would just, he would tease me constantly about how
00:42:24.299 --> 00:42:28.837
Modest i was.
00:42:28.837 --> 00:42:30.839
And so i decided to do something, which i thought was
00:42:30.839 --> 00:42:35.377
Going to be a statement.
00:42:35.377 --> 00:42:36.911
And it was just not the statement i intended to make.
00:42:36.911 --> 00:42:39.147
I decided for our honeymoon, i was going to order a
00:42:39.147 --> 00:42:42.884
Catwoman suit.
00:42:42.884 --> 00:42:44.319
And so i had them send it just to the hotel where we would be.
00:42:44.319 --> 00:42:47.622
So after the wedding, which was so much fun with our family and
00:42:47.622 --> 00:42:51.926
Stuff, we went to the hotel and i took that box, and i opened
00:42:51.926 --> 00:42:55.730
It up.
00:42:55.730 --> 00:42:56.631
And what they'd sent me was garfield.
00:42:56.631 --> 00:42:58.366
It was a big orange cat suit.
00:42:58.366 --> 00:43:02.170
This is really not kind of the vibe i was trying to
00:43:02.170 --> 00:43:06.541
Create here.
00:43:06.541 --> 00:43:08.743
And but i had a moment where i was like, because so many
00:43:08.743 --> 00:43:12.147
Moments in my childhood, i felt shamed by the fact i didn't have
00:43:12.147 --> 00:43:15.150
The right clothes.
00:43:15.150 --> 00:43:16.284
My mom couldn't afford to buy me the right shoes.
00:43:16.284 --> 00:43:18.286
I couldn't go to the senior dance because my mom couldn't
00:43:18.286 --> 00:43:20.822
Afford the dress.
00:43:20.822 --> 00:43:21.956
And so that's always been a kind of shameful thing.
00:43:21.956 --> 00:43:24.259
And i had this moment when i stood and i'm looking at myself
00:43:24.259 --> 00:43:26.928
In the mirror and i look ridiculous i mean like a 500 ton
00:43:26.928 --> 00:43:30.131
Cat and i'm like lord what and i felt the lord say you know what
00:43:30.131 --> 00:43:36.071
The person in the next room loves you and i love you and why
00:43:36.071 --> 00:43:40.742
Don't you just let that sink in as deep as you can and you can
00:43:40.742 --> 00:43:43.812
Ask barry, i mean i went out in my garfield outfit and and we
00:43:43.812 --> 00:43:47.415
Laughed but for me honestly it was healing to be able to laugh
00:43:47.415 --> 00:43:51.686
About something that would have been embarrassing to me before.
00:43:51.686 --> 00:43:55.790
Like when i used to watch the movie pretty woman, i hated the
00:43:55.790 --> 00:43:59.094
Bit where he buys her the long dress and she has to go into the
00:43:59.094 --> 00:44:02.797
Bathroom and wear it, because i'm thinking, it won't fit me,
00:44:02.797 --> 00:44:04.399
The zip won't go up.
00:44:04.399 --> 00:44:05.600
All those thoughts were in my mind that some are just
00:44:05.600 --> 00:44:07.836
Thinking, you know what, it can be not right, it can be
00:44:07.836 --> 00:44:12.107
Everything you don't want.
00:44:12.107 --> 00:44:13.475
But because of the healing love of jesus, who loves you in all
00:44:13.475 --> 00:44:16.745
Your moments, you can laugh there too.
00:44:16.745 --> 00:44:18.913
I can think of many funny or embarrassing moments that have
00:44:18.913 --> 00:44:23.551
Happened over time in my family.
00:44:23.551 --> 00:44:24.886
And really what is interesting about it is it becomes more of a
00:44:24.886 --> 00:44:28.656
Connector after the fact.
00:44:28.656 --> 00:44:31.192
Like in the moment, it is funny.
00:44:31.192 --> 00:44:32.527
But so much of what connects us is in the past, over time, us
00:44:32.527 --> 00:44:36.798
Talking about it and remembering back.
00:44:36.798 --> 00:44:40.101
And the tears start going again out of laughter because it's so
00:44:40.101 --> 00:44:42.570
Funny and sometimes you know how like stories we hear about like
00:44:42.570 --> 00:44:45.974
You caught a fish this big but by the time you tell the story
00:44:45.974 --> 00:44:48.276
The fish was this big usually that's what happens in these
00:44:48.276 --> 00:44:50.445
Stories too they definitely become more exaggerated the more
00:44:50.445 --> 00:44:53.515
You tell them and but what i love about it is, it's
00:44:53.515 --> 00:44:57.218
Reflective of how much our hearts need connection and how
00:44:57.218 --> 00:45:00.355
Much joy actually seals connection in our hearts and i
00:45:00.355 --> 00:45:06.027
Love it because god designed us that way.
00:45:06.027 --> 00:45:07.896
He designed us to connect in a lot of ways, but for me, some of
00:45:07.896 --> 00:45:11.065
The most special memories, some of the most special connections
00:45:11.065 --> 00:45:14.769
I have with my kids were through laughter and joy.
00:45:14.769 --> 00:45:17.172
We were on a marriage retreat about a month ago, and we were
00:45:17.172 --> 00:45:21.476
On a boat, and there were four couples plus us, so there were
00:45:21.476 --> 00:45:26.981
Five, but there were only four good bedrooms.
00:45:26.981 --> 00:45:30.919
It was one of those catamaranes where you, you know, sleep in
00:45:30.919 --> 00:45:32.520
The hole or whatever.
00:45:32.520 --> 00:45:33.855
So it's already a little bit campy, let's be honest.
00:45:33.855 --> 00:45:36.658
Well, we get on the boat and i'm, we're staying in like the
00:45:36.658 --> 00:45:41.563
Captain's quarters, which is basically like, it's like the
00:45:41.563 --> 00:45:46.034
Space for a bed for eight days on this boat.
00:45:46.034 --> 00:45:48.636
And i am, i mean, i'm like, this is not what i signed up for.
00:45:48.636 --> 00:45:52.907
I'm like, can i just jump off the back of the boat?
00:45:52.907 --> 00:45:55.510
Can we just get a hotel on land and let all of our friends go on
00:45:55.510 --> 00:45:58.446
This marriage adventure that we're leading, oh, by the way,
00:45:58.446 --> 00:46:01.816
Let me say that.
00:46:01.816 --> 00:46:04.118
And we're provisioning the boat, we go on, there's a gangplank,
00:46:04.118 --> 00:46:07.922
It's really rocky and weighty and, i mean, the wavy and all
00:46:07.922 --> 00:46:11.492
The things.
00:46:11.492 --> 00:46:13.261
Well, the captain's holding my hand, he slips and falls.
00:46:13.261 --> 00:46:15.163
We both end up in the water.
00:46:15.163 --> 00:46:17.465
This is literally not even 10 minutes after i saw this
00:46:17.465 --> 00:46:20.568
Bedroom, which i was absolutely like, my life has ended right
00:46:20.568 --> 00:46:23.972
Now, you know?
00:46:23.972 --> 00:46:25.540
And i fell in, it was like this...
00:46:25.540 --> 00:46:27.475
Hilarious total reset, i mean i was like did the lord know
00:46:27.475 --> 00:46:31.980
I needed to get my attitude right?
00:46:31.980 --> 00:46:34.916
I mean really i was completely out of control, which he didn't
00:46:34.916 --> 00:46:37.886
But i was like he probably should have but i have this
00:46:37.886 --> 00:46:43.291
Moment but it's going from worse to worse and worse and really
00:46:43.291 --> 00:46:49.030
Bad. and at the end of the week, i was just, you know, crying
00:46:49.030 --> 00:46:53.134
Telling everyone, i'm so sorry i needed so much grace on this
00:46:53.134 --> 00:46:55.703
Trip, because i was just, it was just not my best moment, let me
00:46:55.703 --> 00:46:58.907
Just say, because i was just really upset about the whole,
00:46:58.907 --> 00:47:01.209
The whole thing had been hard.
00:47:01.209 --> 00:47:02.944
And rod said to me at the end of the week, he said, rachel, he
00:47:02.944 --> 00:47:05.813
Said, your 20% is better than most 100%.
00:47:05.813 --> 00:47:09.250
And i'm telling you, it healed something in me because i was
00:47:09.250 --> 00:47:14.856
Feeling so much shame for how horrible i'd acted and just, you
00:47:14.856 --> 00:47:19.761
Know, i was just not myself.
00:47:19.761 --> 00:47:21.195
It was just very, everything about it was hard.
00:47:21.195 --> 00:47:23.965
That comment, i mean, it brought so much joy and it healed so
00:47:23.965 --> 00:47:26.734
Much in me.
00:47:26.734 --> 00:47:28.236
And i think that's the thing with joy.
00:47:28.236 --> 00:47:30.905
It brings absolute healing.
00:47:30.905 --> 00:47:32.507
And sometimes the first person willing to laugh is the healer
00:47:32.507 --> 00:47:35.843
In the room. yes.
00:47:35.843 --> 00:47:36.711
I'm serious.
00:47:36.711 --> 00:47:37.779
I mean, it's true.
00:47:37.779 --> 00:47:39.047
Let it be me, lord.
00:47:39.047 --> 00:47:40.081
Yes, amen.
00:47:40.081 --> 00:47:41.182
- let's be honest, life is hard.
00:47:41.182 --> 00:47:43.851
And if it's not hard right now, it's getting ready to be hard.
00:47:43.851 --> 00:47:47.455
And so if you can stop where you're at and take a moment and
00:47:47.455 --> 00:47:50.258
Find joy in just the littlest of things, it really does shape
00:47:50.258 --> 00:47:54.696
Your perspective.
00:47:54.696 --> 00:47:56.030
It helps you to see things more clearly when you're able to
00:47:56.030 --> 00:47:58.633
Laugh and not take all of it so seriously because this life that
00:47:58.633 --> 00:48:02.337
We're living is so short, and it's in us to enjoy it to
00:48:02.337 --> 00:48:06.007
The fullest.
00:48:06.007 --> 00:48:07.075
God wants the joy of the lord to be our strength.
00:48:07.075 --> 00:48:09.544
And so if you're feeling run down, if you're facing a
00:48:09.544 --> 00:48:11.579
Hardship today, find that joy of the lord today.
00:48:11.579 --> 00:48:14.749
- yeah, i'm loving this week, girls.
00:48:14.749 --> 00:48:17.151
So let's just pray for anyone who's joining us who's sitting
00:48:17.151 --> 00:48:20.555
Around the circle with us, who maybe doesn't have much joy in
00:48:20.555 --> 00:48:23.825
Their life right now.
00:48:23.825 --> 00:48:25.226
Then maybe they'll be the first one, maybe god will use them to
00:48:25.226 --> 00:48:27.662
Be the first person to light a little candle in the room and
00:48:27.662 --> 00:48:30.932
Make somebody laugh, that'd be great.
00:48:30.932 --> 00:48:32.967
- there you go.
00:48:32.967 --> 00:48:34.135
Thank you, lord.
00:48:34.135 --> 00:48:35.470
- lord jesus, we just don't even have words adequate to express
00:48:35.470 --> 00:48:38.539
How grateful we are for you, how much we love you, how silenced
00:48:38.539 --> 00:48:43.211
We are by your beauty and your magnificence, and yet your warm
00:48:43.211 --> 00:48:47.448
Embrace, you come unto me.
00:48:47.448 --> 00:48:49.717
And lord, i just want to pray right now for any sisters or
00:48:49.717 --> 00:48:52.787
Brothers who are watching, whose joy seems like a stranger at
00:48:52.787 --> 00:48:57.025
The moment.
00:48:57.025 --> 00:48:58.292
But lord, we believe that you are the source of our joy.
00:48:58.292 --> 00:49:00.862
So i ask, lord jesus, that they would just be something today,
00:49:00.862 --> 00:49:06.134
Something this evening, something tangible, that it's
00:49:06.134 --> 00:49:09.570
Like this little moment that we think, lord, you
00:49:09.570 --> 00:49:12.740
Sent that along.
00:49:12.740 --> 00:49:14.008
You knew that would make me smile.
00:49:14.008 --> 00:49:15.543
And lord, just light a little candle in our hearts so that
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Perhaps we could be the ones to start bringing some joy
00:49:18.980 --> 00:49:22.483
In our circle and i ask in jesus name, amen.
00:49:22.483 --> 00:49:29.524
- connect with us on social media and let us know how our
00:49:29.524 --> 00:49:31.292
Team can pary for you.
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♪ (music playing) ♪
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- to the busy mom with littles, i want you to know that
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If you are finding, you know, it difficult to have joy in
00:49:42.937 --> 00:49:45.807
Parenting, each season is so short.
00:49:45.807 --> 00:49:49.110
Really try to look for ways that you can enjoy it right now
00:49:49.110 --> 00:49:52.847
Because i promise you the next season is coming and you will
00:49:52.847 --> 00:49:56.084
Miss the one that you're currently in, but i promise you
00:49:56.084 --> 00:49:58.953
That each season gets better.
00:49:58.953 --> 00:50:00.721
- for any single mom who's out there drowning in their grief or
00:50:00.721 --> 00:50:04.592
Their hard or just the tension of living life on the earth
00:50:04.592 --> 00:50:08.729
Today, i would say do one little thing a week that sparks joy.
00:50:08.729 --> 00:50:13.668
And for me, that was going to sonic and splitting an ice cream
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With my kids because that just, like, brought them so much joy.
00:50:17.805 --> 00:50:22.443
It seems like something so simple, but they still talk
00:50:22.443 --> 00:50:24.812
About it today.
00:50:24.812 --> 00:50:25.880
So it wasn't much.
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It cost $1.25, but it meant the world to my kids.
00:50:27.148 --> 00:50:29.984
So do one thing a week, one thing a week to bring joy.
00:50:29.984 --> 00:50:34.322
Stream full episodes of better together on demand.
00:50:35.423 --> 00:50:37.959
Go to bettertogether.tv stream all of our latest conversations.
00:50:37.959 --> 00:50:44.499
♪ (music playing) ♪
00:50:44.499 --> 00:50:44.499

How Family Finds Joy | Better Together Episode 1138

January 28, 2026 | S8 E1138 | 50:59

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