Better Together

How Family Finds Joy | Better Together Episode 1138

January 28, 2026 | S8 E1138 | 50:59

Experience the JOY that can transform your family! Let laughter lift your hearts, and God’s goodness turn ordinary moments into memories that will never be forgotten. | TBN Prayer Line: 714-731-1000

#Joy #HolySpirit #Goodness #Family #Love #Unity #BodyofChrist #Mother #Healing #PersonalStory #Parenting #Grief #Humor #Shame #LaurieCrouch #SheilaWalsh #BlyndaLane #MichelleAguilar

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Better Together | How Family Finds Joy | Better Together Episode 1138 | January 28, 2026

- our god is the source of true joy, and when difficult seasons
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Come and laughter fades, families can find joy again.
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Come on, let's talk about it.
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♪ (music playing)
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- i love these kinds of very honest conversations about
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Family and the different places we've been and the lessons we've
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Learned or the things that we're still in.
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But today it's going to be kind of fun because we're talking
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About finding joy in a family.
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And what i was thinking about, was there a time in our family
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Where things were hard and somehow injecting some joy into
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That change?
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And it came back to me so clearly.
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We used to live in nashville.
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And when my mother-in-law, eleanor, passed, my father-in-
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-law, william, came and moved in with us, which was fantastic.
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He was 80 years old at the time and lived with us for two and a
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Half years before he passed.
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And it was just a blast.
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He was just a character.
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He sold his house, and we sold ours, and we were getting a
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House together, and it wasn't quite finished.
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And the builder, i discovered, i don't know what he did in the
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60s, but it wasn't good.
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And it definitely had affected a few brain cells.
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Because we would go over and check out the thing and there
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Would be like the ceiling leaked in the bathroom and there would
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Be nails everywhere.
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And we've got a little boy at this time.
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But the day we actually moved in, he said, i want to come over
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And just bring you some flowers.
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And i thought, oh, that's really lovely.
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So he came over and he said, i'm going to turn on the sprinkler
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System in the yard and show you how it works.
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And i'm like, oh, yeah, great.
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So i opened the front door because i wanted to look.
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It came over my head and into the kitchen.
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I mean, literally, it didn't touch any of the grass.
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It shot right over my head in the kitchen.
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But he was so kind of strangely chill about everything.
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Because i said to him, that actually came into the kitchen.
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And he said, yeah, that's too far.
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Too far.
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It wasn't supposed to be in the house at all.
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And honestly, it was like one thing after another went wrong
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With this house.
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I mean, we loved it.
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It could have been perfect.
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But i think he just couldn't quite be bothered to finish it.
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There were so many things that we would discover that were
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A disaster.
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And we sat down one evening and it's almost christmas time and
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We're talking it through.
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And my father-in-law said, you need to write a list.
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We need to have a list of every, because these are not little
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Things like it would be nice if that was a slightly
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Different yellow.
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These are things that, you know, that the ceiling might
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Come down here.
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So we're writing out this list, and christian's, i
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Don't know, five.
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And barry was talking about how disappointing this was, because
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When you build a house, you expect it to be a certain way.
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And christian said, do you want to know what i'm
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Disappointed in?
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And i was like, yes, i do.
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And he said, it's not snowing.
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And it was almost christmas, and it wasn't snowing.
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And i said, you know what, christian, there's some things
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In life that we don't have much control over.
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But there's other things in life where we can make some choices.
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I said, go and get that big bag of flour i got from costco.
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So he got this big bag of flour from costco.
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And i got william and barry, and i'm like, okay, we're going to
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Make it snow.
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And we literally threw up flour.
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I mean, like, how much messier could the house be?
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But we literally threw up flour.
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And i have such a memory still of the laughter of my
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Five-year-old son watching it snow in our kitchen on
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Christmas eve.
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I think somebody's laughter is a salvation almost in the midst of
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Things that are hard.
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- i think it's so important that children see us choose joy in
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Situations that maybe there's not a lot of happiness, maybe
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That the happenings around us aren't going the way we want.
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And so for us to choose joy in those times can be some of the
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Most priceless teaching moments because happiness, sometimes it
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Just doesn't work out.
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But there is an unspeakable joy for us.
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Find it and show your children how to find it.
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Because life's not going to be easy for them in a lot of ways.
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And so when they have a model, a role model that
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Said, you know what?
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I remember my mom in the hardest of times.
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She chose to be joy-filled.
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She chose to be grateful.
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She chose to be thankful.
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And i think a lot of our joy comes from being grateful
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And thankful.
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So show them how to do it.
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- christian and i wanted to go to the renaissance fair.
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And barry's like, i'm not going to the renaissance fair.
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We're like, oh, please go.
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Come on, barry.
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And so we go, and they do camel rides, which i don't know if
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They had camels during the renaissance.
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But anyway, they were doing camel rides.
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I think that was like, maybe jesus. yeah.
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And they have a whole line of little children all lined up to
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Ride the camel.
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And christian's like, mom, i have a plan.
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And he said, dad, let's get into line
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For the camel so we're standing in line and
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He's already not thrilled for being there and doesn't
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Like camels.
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So when it came to us christian asked his dad
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To get on first and then we said to the guy
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Ok we're good.
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And we stood there and watched as barry by himself
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And there's a line of little kids thinking why is that
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Dude on the camel?
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But there's times when tension can be relieved.
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- yes, totally.
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- when you can just laugh. - yeah.
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- so i'm wondering, how has that impacted you guys as families?
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Like moments where finding something fun to do or finding
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The funny in something that's not necessarily funny, how has
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That been a rescuing moment for any of you?
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- i think, you know, my kids are a little bit younger.
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And so there are seasons when they're this young age,
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Especially when they were like toddlers and kind of, you know,
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You're really trying to, you know, give them some guidance.
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They really need you a lot when they're little.
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And, you know, we've got two girls.
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And the second one is very spirited.
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She's got so much, so many words she has to say.
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And she wants to have arguments and she wants to do
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These things.
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And so we will, at times, as a way to just, like, break the
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Tension, just start, like, smiling and laughing because she
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Is so passionate and she so badly wants to tell you all the
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Things and all the words and she wants to make her argument for
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Why something needs to be her way.
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And we will look at each other and be like, these are the days,
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These are the days we're gonna miss because we understand that
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If we allow, like, her very spirited personality to just
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Dominate every conversation or, you know, if we just give into
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Her and just do whatever she wants to do, that we're all
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Going to be probably a little bit miserable because we're
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Going to be doing that of, you know, a child.
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And so my husband and i will often look at each other and be
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Like, these are the days.
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And then, but it's like, and it's like if we can calm down,
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If we can have joy in our hearts, then our kids will see
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That, okay, our parents have taken a deep breath.
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They're not so stressed out.
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They're not, you know, just having a total panic and we're
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Not gonna just give in every time, but we're gonna recognize
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That, you know, we can still smile.
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Our relationship matters at this moment.
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How we handle these situations is gonna make a huge impact on
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Their lives, you know.
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And they'll remember that, that their parents weren't just
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Constantly, like, on them all the time.
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Like, go, go, go, you know.
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- it has always been, i mean, there's a lot of things that i
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Want to be known for or i want my kids to think about.
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Joy, hands down, is at the top, one of the top for me.
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I just, one, i just love to have fun.
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And i just don't want to take life too seriously.
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There's so many things that are serious.
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So it's like, but i think it's a really important perspective to
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Have when you don't take life so seriously.
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And, but i know it comes from my side of the family.
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I mean, my side of the family, though i said in a different
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Episode, we're also very fractured too.
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We are a lot of fun, maybe a little in reference sometimes
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But i love it.
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And we're the kinds who will play games till 2 or 3 in the
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Morning, just it's who we are and my brother when he comes to
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Holidays you might bring a few games and carry in a few you
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Know taboo or something, whatever games there are, he
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Brings a wagon to our house full of games.
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And this is just how we are.
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The lane household likes to have fun.
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We are lovers of jesus, but we like to have a lot of fun.
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And so it's always been really important to me that my kids,
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That we have memories together of having fun.
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And it doesn't even have to be expensive.
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It doesn't have to be big.
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For me, togetherness is so important.
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I don't actually really care what we're doing, but i will say
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Some fun traditions for us if we kind of make a night of it.
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We'll probably start with a game that we will play together, then
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We'll pop the popcorn, we'll get the m&ms, and then we'll go
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Watch a family movie.
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That's something really fun that we do.
00:09:08.995 --> 00:09:10.329
We also love to travel, so we have a lot of fun vacations that
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We've done together, and we try to take at least one trip a year
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Where we can really just spend time together.
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But really, for me, it's where my kids are, where my husband
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Is, we're going to have fun.
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I mean, it would not be unlike us to just turn up the music,
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Kind of move the furniture, and put on a dance party in the
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Middle of the living room.
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I mean, this is just the kind of family we are.
00:09:31.884 --> 00:09:33.886
So we have a lot of fun traditions, but the main thing
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Is it doesn't really matter what we're doing.
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For me, it matters who i'm doing it with.
00:09:38.924 --> 00:09:41.360
But one christmas, and it's interesting how the lord can use
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Something painful, but because i know that he is a restorer, like
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We talked about, he can turn it into joy.
00:09:51.604 --> 00:09:54.807
He takes our mourning and can turn it to joy.
00:09:54.807 --> 00:09:57.677
So we didn't know this was going to be my dad's last christmas.
00:09:57.677 --> 00:09:59.679
And so, unfortunately, i know she's going to watch this.
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This is why i'm laughing.
00:10:06.452 --> 00:10:07.787
My mom, she loves watching the show, so sorry, mom, but it is a
00:10:07.787 --> 00:10:12.658
Joke amongst me and my siblings because my mother having expired
00:10:12.658 --> 00:10:19.565
Goods in her home is just a common thing.
00:10:19.565 --> 00:10:23.502
We found a pickle jar from 1982.
00:10:23.502 --> 00:10:28.741
We have found spices from the 70s.
00:10:28.741 --> 00:10:31.844
I mean, this is just, and amongst my siblings, even maybe
00:10:31.844 --> 00:10:37.349
In our own little group chat, we're like, what did you find
00:10:37.349 --> 00:10:38.584
When you were at moms today in the pantry?
00:10:38.584 --> 00:10:40.119
You know, it's just one of those things.
00:10:40.119 --> 00:10:42.254
And so it's always a thing because she had put out, this
00:10:42.254 --> 00:10:45.524
Was christmas and we were all together and she'd put out some
00:10:45.524 --> 00:10:49.195
Meat for some, we were going to do like a taco pile up
00:10:49.195 --> 00:10:51.630
Or whatever.
00:10:51.630 --> 00:10:52.998
And one by one, we're all kind of walking by and we're seeing,
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We don't know how old, how long this meat's been in the freezer,
00:10:55.134 --> 00:10:59.338
But we've been, none of us really said anything...
00:10:59.338 --> 00:11:02.208
Well, unfortunately, that christmas, like two days, one
00:11:02.208 --> 00:11:05.578
Day later, actually, the next day, hands down, me, my brother,
00:11:05.578 --> 00:11:10.182
My sister-in-law, my sister, my dad, my mom, we all came down
00:11:10.182 --> 00:11:13.753
With the stomach bug.
00:11:13.753 --> 00:11:14.954
The stomach bug that was so bad, we all had to disperse
00:11:14.954 --> 00:11:18.057
And go home.
00:11:18.057 --> 00:11:19.792
Like, we couldn't all be in the same house because we were all
00:11:19.792 --> 00:11:21.460
Needing the restroom.
00:11:21.460 --> 00:11:22.728
We were all needing everything.
00:11:22.728 --> 00:11:24.396
This is terrible.
00:11:24.396 --> 00:11:26.599
And, of course, at the time, we're thinking of a stomach bug.
00:11:26.599 --> 00:11:29.769
You know, this is a virus or whatever, and it's a
00:11:29.769 --> 00:11:32.938
Three-day recovery.
00:11:32.938 --> 00:11:34.306
It was bad for all of us.
00:11:34.306 --> 00:11:36.442
Well, the next year, sadly, we lost my dad in november, and
00:11:36.442 --> 00:11:37.743
We're just looking for any moments to restore that.
00:11:37.743 --> 00:11:41.447
I mean, we're just heartbroken.
00:11:41.447 --> 00:11:44.784
And we'd come back to my mom's.
00:11:44.784 --> 00:11:47.486
I don't know how many months after my dad had passed away,
00:11:47.486 --> 00:11:48.888
But my mom had some meat sitting on the counter because she was
00:11:48.888 --> 00:11:53.626
Going to make tacos or something again. oh.
00:11:53.626 --> 00:11:55.661
Me and all my siblings we were like crying laughing
00:11:55.661 --> 00:11:58.531
We're like nobody eat the meat, nobody eat the meat.
00:11:58.531 --> 00:12:03.335
And of course to this day it could've still been a
00:12:03.335 --> 00:12:06.205
Stomach bug, it might not have been food
00:12:06.205 --> 00:12:08.107
Poisoning, we don't know what sent us all home.
00:12:08.107 --> 00:12:11.710
But it is a moment now where even though we were in such
00:12:11.710 --> 00:12:15.614
Such sadness and such mourning that our family had changed.
00:12:15.614 --> 00:12:19.685
I mean, our great patriarch of our family was no longer there.
00:12:19.685 --> 00:12:22.822
The lord still found this kind of bonding moment of the
00:12:22.822 --> 00:12:26.425
Christmas that we had with him last.
00:12:26.425 --> 00:12:28.527
Unfortunately, we're all throwing up in all sorts.
00:12:28.527 --> 00:12:31.797
But it was this, it will forever be stamped in our hearts and
00:12:31.797 --> 00:12:36.936
Minds about that christmas.
00:12:36.936 --> 00:12:38.337
And so anytime moving forward, i know i'm going to get so much.
00:12:38.337 --> 00:12:40.973
She's going to be so mad.
00:12:40.973 --> 00:12:43.142
- the group text is going to be great.
00:12:43.142 --> 00:12:44.009
- she's going to be so bad.
00:12:44.009 --> 00:12:45.411
But any time, we'll see some frozen meat sitting on
00:12:45.411 --> 00:12:48.914
The counter...
00:12:48.914 --> 00:12:50.282
We'll just think back to, we'll reference the christmas, last
00:12:50.282 --> 00:12:51.217
Christmas with dad when we were all--
00:12:51.217 --> 00:12:53.953
And so, but it's those kinds of things.
00:12:53.953 --> 00:12:55.921
Somehow, i think if you're able to orient your heart toward, i
00:12:55.921 --> 00:12:59.158
Believe jesus, he's full of joy.
00:12:59.158 --> 00:13:04.029
Like there's moments that are hard.
00:13:04.029 --> 00:13:06.165
But i think if we have the ability to live in the world we
00:13:06.165 --> 00:13:10.669
Live in and choose joy, i think it is a commodity that
00:13:10.669 --> 00:13:15.207
Is so important.
00:13:15.207 --> 00:13:19.345
- joy is an interesting word.
00:13:19.345 --> 00:13:21.647
A lot of people think, well, isn't joy just, you know, when
00:13:21.647 --> 00:13:24.149
You're really laughing, you're watching a tv show, and it's
00:13:24.149 --> 00:13:26.252
Just so funny?
00:13:26.252 --> 00:13:27.553
Joy is much, much more than just joking and laughter, although it
00:13:27.553 --> 00:13:32.591
Can be part of that because i think it's really good for
00:13:32.591 --> 00:13:34.727
Us to laugh.
00:13:34.727 --> 00:13:36.095
But the kind of joy that christ promises is a joy that we can
00:13:36.095 --> 00:13:40.165
Have even when things are not going the way that we
00:13:40.165 --> 00:13:41.500
Wish they were.
00:13:41.500 --> 00:13:43.869
I can remember walking through a season where everything felt
00:13:43.869 --> 00:13:46.639
Very dark, but even underneath all of that, there was
00:13:46.639 --> 00:13:49.541
This assurance.
00:13:49.541 --> 00:13:50.910
God is in control, god is good, and so we can experience joy.
00:13:50.910 --> 00:13:54.113
That's our prayer for you at better together.
00:13:54.113 --> 00:13:56.815
So even if you're walking through a difficult time, you
00:13:56.815 --> 00:14:01.120
Would know that the joy of the lord is your strength.
00:14:01.120 --> 00:14:04.990
- we want to hear from you.
00:14:04.990 --> 00:14:06.659
- connect with us on social media to ask a question or share
00:14:06.659 --> 00:14:09.461
A prayer request.
00:14:09.461 --> 00:14:10.596
- let's build each other up and get better together.
00:14:10.596 --> 00:14:13.232
- let's keep the conversation going.
00:14:13.999 --> 00:14:16.435
You can find the better together podcast on your favorite
00:14:16.435 --> 00:14:19.238
Listening platform.
00:14:19.238 --> 00:14:20.806
Subscribe today.
00:14:20.806 --> 00:14:24.993
Subscribe today.
00:14:24.993 --> 00:14:27.579
- and i think grief and joy, like grief is right here, and
00:14:28.747 --> 00:14:31.784
Then here's joy.
00:14:31.784 --> 00:14:33.218
And they're in, you know, opposite hands, and you just
00:14:33.218 --> 00:14:36.055
Switch whichever one's dominant for the day.
00:14:36.055 --> 00:14:38.157
- they walk side by side.
00:14:38.157 --> 00:14:40.392
And i mean, my story is about christmas, too.
00:14:39.291 --> 00:14:42.061
So my, i'm in a blended family.
00:14:42.061 --> 00:14:45.230
I've been married for 12 years.
00:14:45.230 --> 00:14:46.598
The first christmas, my late husband's family had all four of
00:14:46.598 --> 00:14:50.369
His grandparents.
00:14:50.369 --> 00:14:51.303
They were all in their 90s.
00:14:51.303 --> 00:14:52.604
So we did, like, my husband, when he went to florence with
00:14:52.604 --> 00:14:55.240
Us, he said, this is like the craziest thing i've ever seen.
00:14:55.240 --> 00:14:57.977
It's like four christmases the movie and no one was
00:14:57.977 --> 00:15:01.146
Divorced when they were all these families because i still
00:15:01.146 --> 00:15:04.216
See my first in-laws because i'm widowed twice.
00:15:04.216 --> 00:15:06.785
And so anyway, we were just, i mean, truly, like, i think eight
00:15:06.785 --> 00:15:09.488
Christmases in.
00:15:09.488 --> 00:15:10.823
So my husband knows, like, i got to, i got to, like, get in the
00:15:10.823 --> 00:15:15.327
Right mindset, right?
00:15:15.327 --> 00:15:16.628
And so, i mean, it's so sad because i will say grief is
00:15:16.628 --> 00:15:19.498
Always present at the holidays.
00:15:19.498 --> 00:15:22.534
I mean, and there is just this, there's sadness to it.
00:15:22.534 --> 00:15:26.739
And we knew that going in that seat, even though my husband is
00:15:26.739 --> 00:15:30.943
Sitting in that seat, there should be somebody else there to
00:15:30.943 --> 00:15:33.178
My in-laws, right?
00:15:33.178 --> 00:15:35.581
And so rod gets there and he knows he's been to my
00:15:35.581 --> 00:15:39.985
In-law's house.
00:15:39.985 --> 00:15:41.353
This might be the second time, but he sits down and he's like,
00:15:41.353 --> 00:15:46.258
Well, i'm going to sit across from rachel's wedding picture
00:15:46.258 --> 00:15:50.396
That is still on the wall, right, with my late husband and
00:15:50.396 --> 00:15:54.066
Here's my new husband, and he sits down.
00:15:54.066 --> 00:15:57.669
He's so proud of himself because he sits and, you know, across
00:15:57.669 --> 00:16:00.005
The way so we didn't have to see it.
00:16:00.005 --> 00:16:03.142
And there's a mirror right there, reflecting the photo for
00:16:03.142 --> 00:16:05.077
Him to see the entire time he's eating christmas dinner.
00:16:05.077 --> 00:16:09.214
And we still laugh about it.
00:16:09.214 --> 00:16:11.617
First of all, he had to go to all these christmases.
00:16:11.617 --> 00:16:13.852
I mean, it was just like, he was like, can we just, like, not go
00:16:13.852 --> 00:16:16.588
To, like, three or four of them?
00:16:16.588 --> 00:16:18.457
Is there any way?
00:16:18.457 --> 00:16:19.525
And i'm like, yes, yes.
00:16:19.525 --> 00:16:20.659
And then he sits down.
00:16:20.659 --> 00:16:21.860
And, i mean, it's still just this christmas memory.
00:16:21.860 --> 00:16:24.263
We got food poisoning on christmas as well, so i totally
00:16:24.263 --> 00:16:27.366
Relate, but it is, i think grief and joy when you learn to live
00:16:27.366 --> 00:16:31.403
In both, joy is the rescue to the overwhelming feelings
00:16:31.403 --> 00:16:35.307
Of grief.
00:16:35.307 --> 00:16:38.444
And when i learned that you can only experience a strong emotion
00:16:38.444 --> 00:16:41.547
For 90 seconds.
00:16:41.547 --> 00:16:45.217
So 90 seconds, you can experience, like, intense grief,
00:16:45.217 --> 00:16:49.288
You know, like intense sadness and i'm just like the levity to
00:16:49.288 --> 00:16:53.392
That is laughter, right?
00:16:53.392 --> 00:16:55.094
Laughter is great and laughter's good medicine.
00:16:55.094 --> 00:16:57.729
It's good medicine.
00:16:57.729 --> 00:16:59.064
- it is.
00:16:59.064 --> 00:17:00.399
- that is so great and it can also break the tension because
00:17:00.399 --> 00:17:01.667
It could sound terrible that we put barry on a camel and
00:17:01.667 --> 00:17:03.869
Abandoned him but he was he was in a bit of a bad mood, he
00:17:03.869 --> 00:17:08.874
Wasn't thrilled to be at the renaissance fair.
00:17:08.874 --> 00:17:10.742
And there was something about christian and i, we were just we
00:17:10.742 --> 00:17:13.812
Were literally we were on the ground laughing.
00:17:13.812 --> 00:17:16.148
It was so hilarious seeing this grown adult not happy on a camel
00:17:16.148 --> 00:17:19.184
And all these little children waiting in line.
00:17:19.184 --> 00:17:21.987
And when he saw us, he started to laugh.
00:17:21.987 --> 00:17:28.026
So by the time we got back around the whole thing, he was
00:17:28.026 --> 00:17:29.595
Crying and laughing.
00:17:29.595 --> 00:17:31.563
And it was just, i think it is a gift to us.
00:17:31.563 --> 00:17:33.298
I am a big believer in the power of laughter.
00:17:33.298 --> 00:17:37.069
Even if you ever bump into me at the airport, sit down beside me
00:17:37.069 --> 00:17:39.938
With my ipad and i'll show you i have all these british comedies
00:17:39.938 --> 00:17:43.675
On my ipad because life is too serious and too hard but i
00:17:43.675 --> 00:17:47.479
Really believe in infusing joy into our family as well because
00:17:47.479 --> 00:17:51.116
You know life's hard and life can you know you can have
00:17:51.116 --> 00:17:54.319
Conflict but there's something about when you're able to just
00:17:54.319 --> 00:17:57.122
Laugh about something or lighten the moment it helps everybody
00:17:57.122 --> 00:18:00.459
Out because none of us want to walk around be mad with each
00:18:00.459 --> 00:18:04.029
Other but sometimes it just makes one person to say, i'm
00:18:04.029 --> 00:18:06.698
Going to be the person that's going to lighten this moment.
00:18:06.698 --> 00:18:09.501
A lot of times in my family, that's my son.
00:18:09.501 --> 00:18:11.970
He's just so hilariously funny.
00:18:11.970 --> 00:18:15.374
And, but why not you?
00:18:15.374 --> 00:18:16.842
Why couldn't it be you?
00:18:16.842 --> 00:18:18.143
You could be the one that can inject joy into your family.
00:18:18.143 --> 00:18:20.746
It's pretty infectious.
00:18:20.746 --> 00:18:22.414
When you talk about grief and joy going hand in hand, i
00:18:22.414 --> 00:18:25.250
Remember when i was nursing my mother-in-law in the last maybe
00:18:25.250 --> 00:18:29.955
Three days of her life.
00:18:29.955 --> 00:18:32.191
And so we know that she's getting ready to be with jesus.
00:18:32.191 --> 00:18:34.760
And it's hard because she doesn't want to.
00:18:34.760 --> 00:18:37.729
She's only 64.
00:18:37.729 --> 00:18:38.597
And she has a grandson.
00:18:38.597 --> 00:18:42.067
You know, she doesn't want to die.
00:18:42.067 --> 00:18:43.068
I've taken her to so many healing meetings.
00:18:43.068 --> 00:18:45.504
And we went to some wacky meetings.
00:18:45.504 --> 00:18:47.072
But i took her to everywhere she wanted to go, we went and
00:18:47.072 --> 00:18:49.575
Believed in that.
00:18:49.575 --> 00:18:51.043
It was clear that god had taken her home.
00:18:51.043 --> 00:18:52.978
And i remember i'm sitting beside her on the bed and i'm
00:18:52.978 --> 00:18:55.681
Holding her hand.
00:18:55.681 --> 00:18:56.882
I'm talking to her, but what she wants me to do at her
00:18:56.882 --> 00:19:00.352
Memorial service.
00:19:00.352 --> 00:19:01.453
And i look out the window and there's christian
00:19:01.453 --> 00:19:03.021
Playing with the neighbor's cat, having this in depth
00:19:03.021 --> 00:19:05.123
Conversation with the cat, listen cat, i'm serious.
00:19:05.123 --> 00:19:08.260
You come over here now, there will be no more snacks
00:19:08.260 --> 00:19:10.529
For me, and it's incredible and i'm thinking this is life.
00:19:10.529 --> 00:19:14.967
It's like on one hand, you're saying goodbye, and
00:19:14.967 --> 00:19:19.238
On the other you're opening your hand to new things that
00:19:19.238 --> 00:19:21.039
Are happening.
00:19:21.039 --> 00:19:22.040
- i just don't think we are designed.
00:19:22.040 --> 00:19:24.176
We couldn't carry the pain of this world without the
00:19:24.176 --> 00:19:26.612
Relief of joy.
00:19:26.612 --> 00:19:28.814
We just, we're not designed to be able to carry that
00:19:28.814 --> 00:19:31.350
Kind of pain.
00:19:31.350 --> 00:19:32.651
- i think christians are the only ones that can rejoice and
00:19:32.651 --> 00:19:33.719
Have joy at the same time.
00:19:33.719 --> 00:19:35.087
Because that's a character of god.
00:19:35.087 --> 00:19:36.288
Joy to the world, the lord has come.
00:19:36.288 --> 00:19:39.691
The joy of the lord is my strength.
00:19:39.691 --> 00:19:42.628
So your joy comes from knowing god.
00:19:42.628 --> 00:19:46.198
And so, and that's such a gift.
00:19:46.198 --> 00:19:48.133
My husband always told me that in the hardest time of building
00:19:48.133 --> 00:19:52.904
This network, you know, when you're pioneers, you dig it out
00:19:52.904 --> 00:19:58.644
Of the dirt with your fingernails.
00:19:58.644 --> 00:20:00.345
And that's what my in-laws were doing 53 years ago,
00:20:00.345 --> 00:20:05.917
Just in hardships.
00:20:05.917 --> 00:20:06.685
And no one was on their side.
00:20:06.685 --> 00:20:08.086
You know, churches and pastors weren't for them because
00:20:08.086 --> 00:20:11.223
Suddenly christian television is going to take away my church and
00:20:11.223 --> 00:20:14.693
My congregation and our tithe and you know so nobody was for
00:20:14.693 --> 00:20:18.930
Them building tbn and some of their dearest friends where i
00:20:18.930 --> 00:20:24.169
Could mention names right now which people would just be blown
00:20:24.169 --> 00:20:26.838
Away by some of the pillars of the church back-- back in the
00:20:26.838 --> 00:20:32.210
Day were shaking their fingers in paul's face saying one
00:20:32.210 --> 00:20:34.646
Station is enough for you, you know, and people trying to gain
00:20:34.646 --> 00:20:39.985
Control of tbn.
00:20:39.985 --> 00:20:42.454
And just the stories were just heartbreaking.
00:20:42.454 --> 00:20:45.157
And they said, sure enough, time and time again, this little head
00:20:45.157 --> 00:20:51.430
Would pop up in between us in the car with his socks on his
00:20:51.430 --> 00:20:53.932
Hands, and he would, you know, be this person that was in the
00:20:53.932 --> 00:20:58.437
Room just now, and this person, and he would make a story and it
00:20:58.437 --> 00:21:01.440
Would just fill the car with joy and it was matthew and he is the
00:21:01.440 --> 00:21:05.444
One that always is the one that shows up even on the way to i
00:21:05.444 --> 00:21:10.015
Can't remember what happened but even on the way in this morning
00:21:10.015 --> 00:21:13.285
He was just lit all morning i told you guys he had a dream
00:21:13.285 --> 00:21:17.723
That he was he was having to take barry and me and sheila on
00:21:17.723 --> 00:21:23.095
A spartan race he said i'd get up and go to the bathroom, come
00:21:23.095 --> 00:21:27.399
Back and go back into that dream about carrying you guys through
00:21:27.399 --> 00:21:28.900
A spartan race.
00:21:28.900 --> 00:21:31.169
And he goes, sheila was like a tour guide.
00:21:31.169 --> 00:21:33.438
And all of a sudden, i'd look back and you guys were missing
00:21:33.438 --> 00:21:36.074
And i'd have to climb down the mountain.
00:21:36.074 --> 00:21:38.110
And i'm telling you, when he woke up, he was like literally
00:21:38.110 --> 00:21:40.145
In the middle of a spartan race.
00:21:40.145 --> 00:21:42.981
And i'm like going, you're not supposed to be up for the next
00:21:42.981 --> 00:21:44.950
Couple hours.
00:21:44.950 --> 00:21:45.917
You know, i need some time here.
00:21:45.917 --> 00:21:47.252
But he's so cute because if you ever have a moment where you
00:21:47.252 --> 00:21:50.389
Could get at each other, he'll go, you know, your eyes with
00:21:50.389 --> 00:21:54.059
That sweater on, your eyes turn steel gray and it looks
00:21:54.059 --> 00:21:57.662
So pretty on you and he always deflects stuff or says
00:21:57.662 --> 00:22:01.500
Something funny and you know i think we all
00:22:01.500 --> 00:22:05.437
Need to lighten up a little bit and that is a gift and
00:22:05.437 --> 00:22:09.007
Let things not be so serious.
00:22:09.007 --> 00:22:11.443
Because joy is god's character.
00:22:11.443 --> 00:22:15.247
- we can ask god for joy anytime because god has promised us that
00:22:15.247 --> 00:22:18.984
The joy of the lord will be our strength.
00:22:18.984 --> 00:22:21.586
And so that means that it's available to each and every
00:22:21.586 --> 00:22:24.222
One of us.
00:22:24.222 --> 00:22:25.524
So if you are lacking that today, let that be your prayer.
00:22:25.524 --> 00:22:27.225
Let that be your cry.
00:22:27.225 --> 00:22:28.560
Whether you're driving to work or you're, you know, sending a
00:22:28.560 --> 00:22:30.996
Tough email, ask the lord for joy.
00:22:30.996 --> 00:22:33.732
Ask the lord for that strength.
00:22:33.732 --> 00:22:35.333
- it's a great thing to model for our kids.
00:22:35.333 --> 00:22:38.970
I remember when barry and i were out in california and he'd
00:22:38.970 --> 00:22:42.174
Ordered something that was going to come for me that needed a
00:22:42.174 --> 00:22:44.276
Signature, and we weren't going to be home.
00:22:44.276 --> 00:22:46.845
So he'd said to our son, you know, do you mind coming over to
00:22:46.845 --> 00:22:49.815
The house and waiting for this fedex package?
00:22:49.815 --> 00:22:51.149
And i had no idea, christian was gonna have to wait six hours for
00:22:51.149 --> 00:22:54.486
This fedex package.
00:22:54.486 --> 00:22:56.054
But what he did was he took a series of photos.
00:22:56.054 --> 00:22:57.789
It was close to christmas time, and on the tree we had these
00:22:57.789 --> 00:23:00.058
Little birds that you just clip onto the tree.
00:23:00.058 --> 00:23:02.160
So in the first photograph, christian is at the front door
00:23:02.160 --> 00:23:05.597
With one bird in his hair.
00:23:05.597 --> 00:23:06.598
In the final photo, it's like an aviary.
00:23:06.598 --> 00:23:09.734
He's got like 12 birds on his head.
00:23:09.734 --> 00:23:11.703
And it was just, i just think it's a gift when you have
00:23:11.703 --> 00:23:15.340
Somebody in the family that can point out the silly little
00:23:15.340 --> 00:23:18.443
Moments and make you laugh.
00:23:18.443 --> 00:23:20.579
Like they went ziplining.
00:23:20.579 --> 00:23:22.280
Lisa harper took barry and christian ziplining.
00:23:22.280 --> 00:23:25.417
And christian did great.
00:23:25.417 --> 00:23:28.253
Barry gets stuck.
00:23:28.253 --> 00:23:30.155
And so i've got the video.
00:23:30.155 --> 00:23:31.690
I showed it to them last night, where he just got stuck halfway.
00:23:31.690 --> 00:23:33.525
He's not going anywhere.
00:23:33.525 --> 00:23:35.694
He's hanging over a mountain, and christian's yelling up,
00:23:35.694 --> 00:23:37.562
"don't worry, dad, i'm getting it all on film.'" i just, i
00:23:37.562 --> 00:23:40.365
Honestly think laughter is one of the things that's been the
00:23:40.365 --> 00:23:45.437
Greatest gift in our family, because there have been
00:23:45.437 --> 00:23:48.440
Hard things. yes.
00:23:48.440 --> 00:23:50.275
But when you get to laugh, it just diffuses now.
00:23:50.275 --> 00:23:52.344
- yes, yes.
00:23:52.344 --> 00:23:54.379
- i was in college when i remember somebody, it was kind
00:23:54.379 --> 00:23:55.881
Of being passed around.
00:23:55.881 --> 00:23:57.549
We didn't have the internet back then.
00:23:57.549 --> 00:23:59.217
I'm that old.
00:23:59.217 --> 00:24:00.452
But it was a picture that people had, and i don't know how
00:24:00.452 --> 00:24:03.154
Things were.
00:24:03.154 --> 00:24:04.122
It's so funny.
00:24:04.122 --> 00:24:05.056
I'm like, what did we do before phones?
00:24:05.056 --> 00:24:06.157
How did i get information?
00:24:06.157 --> 00:24:07.459
Whatever that was that we passed things around, i don't know.
00:24:07.459 --> 00:24:10.362
But somebody had rendered a drawing of jesus laughing. yes.
00:24:10.362 --> 00:24:14.032
Have you seen that picture?
00:24:14.032 --> 00:24:16.968
It is so beautiful.
00:24:16.968 --> 00:24:20.639
And, but what i loved about it, i think, why it kind of took off
00:24:20.639 --> 00:24:23.775
People is we don't think of him necessarily.
00:24:23.775 --> 00:24:26.444
We see him, we've seen images of him on the cross, that grueling
00:24:26.444 --> 00:24:30.615
Death that he, that he suffered.
00:24:30.615 --> 00:24:33.885
And we've seen the gentle come to me, like the children.
00:24:33.885 --> 00:24:37.322
Like, we've seen kindness and gentleness.
00:24:37.322 --> 00:24:39.190
But for somebody to render a print of him laughing
00:24:39.190 --> 00:24:42.160
Hysterically, and it's still 30 -plus years later, i can see it
00:24:42.160 --> 00:24:47.332
Like that because i hadn't really ever thought of him in
00:24:47.332 --> 00:24:49.467
That way.
00:24:49.467 --> 00:24:51.469
And i think it's so beautiful because i do, i
00:24:51.469 --> 00:24:54.839
Think the chosen.
00:24:54.839 --> 00:24:56.841
I love that series, but they depict moments of him where he's
00:24:56.841 --> 00:25:00.111
Just hanging with his friends and he's laughing.
00:25:00.111 --> 00:25:02.781
And i don't know if in the world we live in, we can see all the
00:25:02.781 --> 00:25:08.286
Things that are hard.
00:25:08.286 --> 00:25:11.056
And i think it's a choice to think of him in that way.
00:25:11.056 --> 00:25:15.860
But i know for me, when i think of him that way, it makes me
00:25:15.860 --> 00:25:18.530
Want to live more joyfully when i think of that characteristic
00:25:18.530 --> 00:25:21.533
Of him. yeah.
00:25:21.533 --> 00:25:23.768
- you know, sometimes when i've been broken-hearted or things
00:25:24.970 --> 00:25:28.607
Haven't worked out the way, i know that i have joy on the
00:25:28.607 --> 00:25:31.676
Inside because i have god.
00:25:31.676 --> 00:25:33.945
He is the joy of the world.
00:25:33.945 --> 00:25:36.047
Joy to the world the lord has come.
00:25:36.047 --> 00:25:39.284
Having the lord in my life.
00:25:39.284 --> 00:25:41.987
There is nothing that can get me in a pit of despair
00:25:41.987 --> 00:25:44.723
Because i have a joy unspeakable and it comes from
00:25:44.723 --> 00:25:47.492
Christ and christ alone.
00:25:47.492 --> 00:25:49.494
- i think too, we do this a lot with the widows when they come
00:25:49.494 --> 00:25:53.732
On retreats and conferences because when you're in grief
00:25:53.732 --> 00:25:57.502
And you're in hard things...
00:25:57.502 --> 00:25:58.637
- so you set up a whole conference that's part of
00:25:58.637 --> 00:26:00.939
Your ministry?
00:26:00.939 --> 00:26:01.840
- for widows, yes, yes.
00:26:01.840 --> 00:26:05.777
But you don't realize that in grief and in pain, your circuits
00:26:05.777 --> 00:26:07.812
For joy are dimmed.
00:26:07.812 --> 00:26:10.582
And so jim wilder's done a lot of brain science work, and so he
00:26:10.582 --> 00:26:14.252
Helps you reconnect the brain to joy.
00:26:14.252 --> 00:26:16.755
- oh, wow.
00:26:16.755 --> 00:26:19.357
And the way you do it is you go into a joy-filled memory that's
00:26:19.357 --> 00:26:22.093
Not splintered.
00:26:22.093 --> 00:26:23.928
It's not like involving your husband who passed away, or
00:26:23.928 --> 00:26:26.765
Your, you know, kid who's in treatment, whatever it is.
00:26:26.765 --> 00:26:29.067
And so you go into a joyful memory.
00:26:29.067 --> 00:26:31.102
It can be really simple, just a moment, like you're talking
00:26:31.102 --> 00:26:34.039
About with barry and the kid, you know, and the camel and the
00:26:34.039 --> 00:26:36.508
Whole thing.
00:26:36.508 --> 00:26:37.842
You go into that memory, and then you see it, you taste it,
00:26:37.842 --> 00:26:40.178
You feel it, you know, all the things.
00:26:40.178 --> 00:26:42.547
You go through your senses, and then you invite jesus into that
00:26:42.547 --> 00:26:44.749
Picture, and it reconnects the brain to joy, because joy is a
00:26:44.749 --> 00:26:48.319
Reset for the brain, right?
00:26:48.319 --> 00:26:50.355
But it's hard to get there when you're in grief and in pain, and
00:26:50.355 --> 00:26:52.991
It's such a weapon.
00:26:52.991 --> 00:26:55.560
- i love that.
00:26:55.560 --> 00:26:56.494
That is really cool.
00:26:56.494 --> 00:26:57.595
- it's something anybody listening can do at home.
00:26:57.595 --> 00:26:59.497
You just go into that joyful memory, and then you just see
00:26:59.497 --> 00:27:02.867
It, and you go through all your senses, and you go slowly, you
00:27:02.867 --> 00:27:06.371
Know, like, what did the air feel like?
00:27:06.371 --> 00:27:08.540
What did i, you know, what did i taste?
00:27:08.540 --> 00:27:10.308
What was i seeing?
00:27:10.308 --> 00:27:12.077
You know, who was there?
00:27:12.077 --> 00:27:13.211
It's really powerful.
00:27:13.211 --> 00:27:14.612
It is very powerful.
00:27:14.612 --> 00:27:15.547
And that's what we do.
00:27:15.547 --> 00:27:16.881
And i do it with anybody who's struggling to experience joy.
00:27:16.881 --> 00:27:21.720
I think joy is a weapon.
00:27:21.720 --> 00:27:24.089
And for us, we are a family that loves to laugh.
00:27:24.089 --> 00:27:27.792
And i believe that the most spiritual thing you can do
00:27:27.792 --> 00:27:31.496
Sometimes is just laugh about the problem.
00:27:31.496 --> 00:27:33.965
Sometimes taking a nap and laughing about it are just
00:27:33.965 --> 00:27:36.701
Absolutely healing.
00:27:36.701 --> 00:27:39.571
And it is and has been for us.
00:27:39.571 --> 00:27:42.307
I know when we do things that bring us joy, whether it's doing
00:27:42.307 --> 00:27:46.478
Something together, whether it's something simple, like a joy
00:27:46.478 --> 00:27:51.149
Filled experience of just getting ice cream together, i
00:27:51.149 --> 00:27:57.021
Mean, just the silly things in life, it absolutely heals
00:27:57.021 --> 00:27:59.657
All of us.
00:27:59.657 --> 00:28:00.992
I read a thing the other day about children in some country,
00:28:00.992 --> 00:28:05.396
I can't remember, but they would teach them that if you go to
00:28:05.396 --> 00:28:10.168
Sleep every night, and so as this can happen too, so much can
00:28:10.168 --> 00:28:14.739
Be on your mind when you go to bed, you know, that can keep you
00:28:14.739 --> 00:28:18.076
Awake or whatever.
00:28:18.076 --> 00:28:19.410
They say, think of something in your day that was happy and
00:28:19.410 --> 00:28:22.347
Whatever, whatever it is or something or a memory that is
00:28:22.347 --> 00:28:27.452
Full of joy and let that be your last thoughts.
00:28:27.452 --> 00:28:31.122
And they say that sleeping and all of that was just off the
00:28:31.122 --> 00:28:35.360
Charts for kids. wow.
00:28:35.360 --> 00:28:37.495
You know, instead of talking about the bad things in your
00:28:37.495 --> 00:28:40.799
Day, talk about the fun and the good things and go to sleep
00:28:40.799 --> 00:28:44.636
Like that.
00:28:44.636 --> 00:28:45.370
And i've started doing that.
00:28:45.370 --> 00:28:46.237
I love that.
00:28:46.237 --> 00:28:47.572
It's not like you go to bed with negative thoughts every night,
00:28:47.572 --> 00:28:49.707
But i just thought, you know what?
00:28:49.707 --> 00:28:51.676
I'm just going to start thinking about that because i can think
00:28:51.676 --> 00:28:53.912
About my two boys and things that they've done that i can
00:28:53.912 --> 00:28:56.347
Just drop on the ground funny, you know.
00:28:56.347 --> 00:28:57.949
And so i just think of that, and i'm telling you that
00:28:57.949 --> 00:29:02.887
Has changed.
00:29:02.887 --> 00:29:04.622
And also i wanted to say, my mother, you mentioned my mother
00:29:04.622 --> 00:29:07.258
In law a while ago. - yes.
00:29:07.258 --> 00:29:08.960
- jane crouch suffered terrible depression for a couple years.
00:29:08.960 --> 00:29:17.969
She had two boys, two younger boys, and they were maybe eight
00:29:17.969 --> 00:29:22.106
And 10, and she would just stay in her bedroom for days.
00:29:22.106 --> 00:29:25.410
She wouldn't cook.
00:29:25.410 --> 00:29:26.744
She wouldn't, you know, and matt says, i just remember her just
00:29:26.744 --> 00:29:29.147
Kind of being gone and my dad taking care of us for a while.
00:29:29.147 --> 00:29:31.516
And she one night went to bed.
00:29:31.516 --> 00:29:35.053
And of course, they're christians and they're building
00:29:35.053 --> 00:29:37.255
Tbn and they're doing their thing.
00:29:37.255 --> 00:29:39.791
And she went to sleep one night.
00:29:39.791 --> 00:29:42.627
And she had always thought about just walking into the ocean, you
00:29:42.627 --> 00:29:44.963
Know, just those thoughts and stuff.
00:29:44.963 --> 00:29:47.265
And she said, i went into a dream, and she said, i was
00:29:47.265 --> 00:29:50.768
Walking along the sea of galilee. - wow.
00:29:50.768 --> 00:29:54.038
- and she said, i saw some people as i'm just walking.
00:29:54.038 --> 00:29:58.009
And she says, i see some men way up in front.
00:29:58.009 --> 00:30:00.645
And she says, as i walked and got closer, she said, it was
00:30:00.645 --> 00:30:04.916
Jesus and his disciples.
00:30:04.916 --> 00:30:06.818
And they were all just sitting on the beach there at the sea of
00:30:06.818 --> 00:30:11.422
Galilee, and they were laughing.
00:30:11.422 --> 00:30:15.493
And you could hear the laughter and then the talk and then
00:30:15.493 --> 00:30:18.396
The laughter.
00:30:18.396 --> 00:30:19.697
And she says, as i got closer, she said, jesus turned to me
00:30:19.697 --> 00:30:22.000
Laughing and just looked at me and stared at me, but he
00:30:22.000 --> 00:30:25.837
Was laughing.
00:30:25.837 --> 00:30:27.639
And she said, when i woke up, i was crying with joy.
00:30:27.639 --> 00:30:29.874
And she hadn't been able to cry.
00:30:29.874 --> 00:30:32.944
She hadn't been able to...
00:30:32.944 --> 00:30:34.512
And she said that was absolute healing and she never suffered
00:30:34.512 --> 00:30:38.316
With it again.
00:30:38.316 --> 00:30:39.217
She never had it again.
00:30:39.217 --> 00:30:40.585
She said, jesus, looking at me, just head back, laughing, you
00:30:40.585 --> 00:30:46.424
Know, and so...
00:30:46.424 --> 00:30:48.559
- that's a beautiful picture.
00:30:48.559 --> 00:30:49.894
- that's something we can all just think about and take to
00:30:49.894 --> 00:30:51.896
Heart, you know.
00:30:51.896 --> 00:30:52.997
I think sometimes people think our circumstances
00:30:52.997 --> 00:30:56.367
Have to change.
00:30:56.367 --> 00:30:57.635
If i'm going to experience joy, then this has to change and that
00:30:57.635 --> 00:31:00.204
Has to change.
00:31:00.204 --> 00:31:01.539
And, you know, that's the kind of joy or happiness you would
00:31:01.539 --> 00:31:05.376
Seek if you didn't know the lord at all.
00:31:05.376 --> 00:31:07.412
But he has promised joy to those of us who love him, that it's
00:31:07.412 --> 00:31:10.915
Available to you right now.
00:31:10.915 --> 00:31:14.385
You might be in some of the most difficult days of your life.
00:31:14.385 --> 00:31:17.221
You might be facing a situation right now where you're thinking,
00:31:17.221 --> 00:31:20.792
How can i possibly know joy?
00:31:20.792 --> 00:31:23.962
What joy really is is this quiet, confidence that god's in
00:31:23.962 --> 00:31:28.833
Control, he sees you, he's got hold of your situation, and
00:31:28.833 --> 00:31:31.703
He is with you, you are not alone.
00:31:31.703 --> 00:31:34.539
And because of that, even now, you can begin to give thanks
00:31:34.539 --> 00:31:38.409
Because god's got this.
00:31:38.409 --> 00:31:40.311
Because, i mean, think about when you even mentioned, you
00:31:40.311 --> 00:31:44.048
Know, children in other countries, when i went to india
00:31:44.048 --> 00:31:47.385
In the 90s, part of what we did was minister, we straight
00:31:47.385 --> 00:31:52.090
Evangelized to children and we worked in schools and we, and,
00:31:52.090 --> 00:31:54.792
You know, you find out really quickly that joy is not
00:31:54.792 --> 00:31:58.029
Circumstantial.
00:31:58.029 --> 00:32:00.765
- that's right.
00:32:00.765 --> 00:32:02.600
- that you don't have to have everything going well for you to
00:32:02.600 --> 00:32:04.869
Find joy.
00:32:04.869 --> 00:32:06.237
In fact, it's often when things aren't because these children
00:32:06.237 --> 00:32:09.007
Had nothing.
00:32:09.007 --> 00:32:10.808
I mean, really nothing.
00:32:10.808 --> 00:32:14.479
And they were the most joyful joyful children.
00:32:14.479 --> 00:32:16.547
And i think almost maybe in our western culture, we struggle
00:32:16.547 --> 00:32:20.251
More to find the joy when we have so much offered to us.
00:32:20.251 --> 00:32:24.422
We have so much at our fingertips.
00:32:24.422 --> 00:32:26.391
I think maybe that's even why jesus says, come like a child.
00:32:26.391 --> 00:32:29.027
Because they haven't been tainted with the cares of
00:32:29.027 --> 00:32:32.430
The world.
00:32:32.430 --> 00:32:34.165
They're still so joyful.
00:32:34.165 --> 00:32:35.099
For such is the kingdom of heaven.
00:32:35.099 --> 00:32:37.268
I think we all look for happiness.
00:32:37.268 --> 00:32:39.170
Well, happiness is what happens to us that gives happiness, but
00:32:39.170 --> 00:32:42.006
Joy comes from the lord.
00:32:42.006 --> 00:32:46.411
- and there's the strength that comes with that and
00:32:46.411 --> 00:32:49.347
We often forget, or we think it is just a smile
00:32:49.347 --> 00:32:52.216
On our face or that if i can just look happy.
00:32:52.216 --> 00:32:55.386
But it's really from within and what the lord gives to us.
00:32:55.386 --> 00:33:00.058
And so there have been many times in my life
00:33:00.058 --> 00:33:02.527
Where you don't feel happy and you don't feel
00:33:02.527 --> 00:33:05.229
Like doing something, but if you could just get to yourself and
00:33:05.229 --> 00:33:10.001
Say, okay, well, the joy of the lord is my strength, and i can
00:33:10.001 --> 00:33:11.669
Do this if i can do it with the lord, and you know, under his
00:33:11.669 --> 00:33:16.040
Strength and not on my own, that i can get through to
00:33:16.040 --> 00:33:19.110
The other side.
00:33:19.110 --> 00:33:19.944
And people see that.
00:33:19.944 --> 00:33:21.446
They see when your countenance is, you know, this world has
00:33:21.446 --> 00:33:25.316
Kind of beat people down and they kind of, you know, kind of
00:33:25.316 --> 00:33:28.052
Your shoulder shrugged and you're kind walking that way and
00:33:28.052 --> 00:33:30.655
You don't carry yourself with the, you know, the light of the
00:33:30.655 --> 00:33:33.691
World on the inside of you.
00:33:33.691 --> 00:33:35.026
But when we're filled with, you know, the spirit and we, you
00:33:35.026 --> 00:33:37.862
Know, have this relationship with the lord, it will just ooze
00:33:37.862 --> 00:33:41.799
Out of us.
00:33:41.799 --> 00:33:42.934
And the way that we treat people will be different.
00:33:42.934 --> 00:33:44.068
The way that we treat our children, our family, our
00:33:44.068 --> 00:33:46.637
Friends, strangers on the street, they will know us by our
00:33:46.637 --> 00:33:49.207
Fruits and, you know, the joy of the lord, you know, is
00:33:49.207 --> 00:33:51.943
Definitely one of them.
00:33:51.943 --> 00:33:53.811
And everyone can experience that joy through you, through your
00:33:53.811 --> 00:33:57.782
Connections, whether it's at the grocery store or it's at the
00:33:57.782 --> 00:34:01.352
Park or wherever it is, if you just remind yourself of that,
00:34:01.352 --> 00:34:05.256
That whatever is happening in the world is gonna happen, but
00:34:05.256 --> 00:34:07.892
That you can still find strength in the joy that comes from
00:34:07.892 --> 00:34:11.262
The lord.
00:34:11.262 --> 00:34:12.563
- it was a song we used to sing about the joy of the lord.
00:34:12.563 --> 00:34:14.599
The world doesn't have it, the world can't give it, and the
00:34:14.599 --> 00:34:17.235
World can't take it away.
00:34:17.235 --> 00:34:18.603
And you know, as believers were called on in a lot of ways to
00:34:18.603 --> 00:34:22.006
Offer other things.
00:34:22.006 --> 00:34:24.242
If there's grieving, we're called on for our empathy and
00:34:24.242 --> 00:34:27.645
For our care and our compassion.
00:34:27.645 --> 00:34:29.614
So it's actually being called upon us sometimes to offer joy
00:34:29.614 --> 00:34:34.252
To someone.
00:34:34.252 --> 00:34:35.920
I think as a widow, i always felt too busy, and i always felt
00:34:35.920 --> 00:34:40.158
Too tired to make moments of joy happen.
00:34:40.158 --> 00:34:42.393
But i look back, and this is how we learn, right?
00:34:42.393 --> 00:34:46.063
You look back on your life, and when i did push through to
00:34:46.063 --> 00:34:48.766
Muster up the energy, to not think about how tired i was, but
00:34:48.766 --> 00:34:52.403
To think about the memory that i was making for my kids, those
00:34:52.403 --> 00:34:55.206
Are the moments that my kids still talk about.
00:34:55.206 --> 00:34:59.410
It's the silly little things.
00:34:59.410 --> 00:35:01.445
It really wasn't those big trips, like the big trip to
00:35:01.445 --> 00:35:04.448
Disney world that i thought was going to solve all of
00:35:04.448 --> 00:35:06.017
Our problems.
00:35:06.017 --> 00:35:07.385
It was the little small moments of, you know, getting ice cream,
00:35:07.385 --> 00:35:11.222
Going to the park, going to mcdonald's, and going through
00:35:11.222 --> 00:35:13.524
The drive-thru, you know, and singing a silly song and waving
00:35:13.524 --> 00:35:16.194
Our hands up with worship music.
00:35:16.194 --> 00:35:18.930
Those are the things that they remember.
00:35:18.930 --> 00:35:21.299
And so i will say, pushing through when you're tired is the
00:35:21.299 --> 00:35:24.936
Greatest gift that you'll ever give your kids.
00:35:24.936 --> 00:35:30.975
I see joy and fun as an expression of god's character in
00:35:32.076 --> 00:35:35.413
Our home by truly just being together and realizing that our
00:35:35.413 --> 00:35:39.617
Home is is not just a place filled with responsibility
00:35:39.617 --> 00:35:43.354
Filled with work but it's a place of joy, it's a place of
00:35:43.354 --> 00:35:46.691
Rest, it's a place of peace.
00:35:46.691 --> 00:35:48.359
So it is truly like my heart as a mom that i want the people
00:35:48.359 --> 00:35:52.029
Who enter my home, whether that is my children, my husband,
00:35:52.029 --> 00:35:54.599
Or even guests, i want them to feel the joy of the lord
00:35:54.599 --> 00:35:57.602
Because i know jesus is full of joy
00:35:57.602 --> 00:36:00.738
As much as he's also full of grace and
00:36:00.738 --> 00:36:03.975
Compassion he is full of joy and i want to reflect the heart of
00:36:03.975 --> 00:36:07.278
Christ so there will be joy in my home.
00:36:07.278 --> 00:36:09.480
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♪ (music playing)
00:36:22.560 --> 00:36:27.898
- i believe it is never too late to start creating joy in
00:36:27.898 --> 00:36:31.702
Your home.
00:36:31.702 --> 00:36:33.571
Maybe you didn't grow up in a family where there was a lot of
00:36:33.571 --> 00:36:35.840
Joy, but don't you think it'd be amazing if you were the one who
00:36:35.840 --> 00:36:37.975
Began something?
00:36:37.975 --> 00:36:39.577
And it's just, you don't even have to have great
00:36:39.577 --> 00:36:41.946
Creative ideas.
00:36:41.946 --> 00:36:43.114
You can start with little things.
00:36:43.114 --> 00:36:45.116
I remember when my son came home from school with a bad report
00:36:45.116 --> 00:36:46.951
Card, well, he thought it was bad, and i did not.
00:36:46.951 --> 00:36:48.986
He had one b, all the rest were a's.
00:36:48.986 --> 00:36:52.556
So i sat in a chair right in the middle of the kitchen, asked him
00:36:52.556 --> 00:36:55.226
To sit down, and i went upstairs, and i got a trumpet.
00:36:55.226 --> 00:36:57.461
And i marched around and played the trumpet, and i said, that's
00:36:57.461 --> 00:37:00.097
How i'm going to feel about you for the rest of your life.
00:37:00.097 --> 00:37:02.300
You can be the one who decides from now on there's going to be
00:37:02.300 --> 00:37:06.304
Joy within these four walls.
00:37:06.304 --> 00:37:10.541
I'm thinking, i mean, it's making me laugh in my mind
00:37:11.609 --> 00:37:15.046
Thinking about this particular story, how the lord used it.
00:37:15.046 --> 00:37:16.247
You know, we're talking about family this week.
00:37:16.247 --> 00:37:19.583
And as a mom, i was carrying this desire to be closer
00:37:19.583 --> 00:37:23.120
To my son.
00:37:23.120 --> 00:37:26.290
He was at that age where, you know, with girls, i think
00:37:26.290 --> 00:37:28.259
You're, as the mom, you're close forever with all your kids.
00:37:28.259 --> 00:37:30.928
But as the girls grow up, i feel like i got closer to them
00:37:30.928 --> 00:37:34.031
Because i'm teaching them how to be a young woman.
00:37:34.031 --> 00:37:36.667
I'm teaching.
00:37:36.667 --> 00:37:38.069
But as my son grew up, he really needed his father more in a lot
00:37:38.069 --> 00:37:41.505
Of areas.
00:37:41.505 --> 00:37:42.840
And i was, it was in that age, i think he was 15, 16, that i felt
00:37:42.840 --> 00:37:45.176
The pulling away.
00:37:45.176 --> 00:37:46.777
And my mama's heart couldn't handle it.
00:37:46.777 --> 00:37:49.246
I was just, i just didn't want it.
00:37:49.246 --> 00:37:51.082
I just adored him.
00:37:51.082 --> 00:37:53.617
And he wasn't pulling away from us as a family, just growing up
00:37:53.617 --> 00:37:56.220
And needed his dad more.
00:37:56.220 --> 00:37:58.789
And so i had just kind of even prayed, you know, just give me
00:37:58.789 --> 00:38:01.625
Something that i can share with him or that i can have with him.
00:38:01.625 --> 00:38:04.395
I did not know the story i'm about to tell you.
00:38:04.395 --> 00:38:06.430
I did not know this is what god would do.
00:38:06.430 --> 00:38:07.898
But so we had gone on a trip to mexico as an all-inclusive that
00:38:07.898 --> 00:38:12.403
We took all the kids on.
00:38:12.403 --> 00:38:14.271
And they had one of those surfing things where you, you
00:38:14.271 --> 00:38:17.241
Know, the simulated surfer and you can get on and you can do
00:38:17.241 --> 00:38:20.044
The little boogie board.
00:38:20.044 --> 00:38:21.679
And somebody had told me, make sure you wear a one piece
00:38:21.679 --> 00:38:24.548
Because if not, it'll take your bottoms right off, which
00:38:24.548 --> 00:38:26.183
Is fine.
00:38:26.183 --> 00:38:28.352
Yeah, i'm sorry, i'm sorry.
00:38:28.352 --> 00:38:29.787
And so, because there's a lot of force, i'm so sorry.
00:38:29.787 --> 00:38:32.123
And so i get up, and there's a long line.
00:38:32.123 --> 00:38:36.127
And so it's me and harrison in the line with a bunch of other
00:38:36.127 --> 00:38:40.464
People waiting to go.
00:38:40.464 --> 00:38:42.166
And it's my turn.
00:38:42.166 --> 00:38:43.534
I go before him.
00:38:43.534 --> 00:38:44.802
And i have on a little one shoulder, one piece, super cute.
00:38:44.802 --> 00:38:47.104
And i get it.
00:38:47.104 --> 00:38:49.073
Of course.
00:38:49.073 --> 00:38:50.141
If i do say so much.
00:38:50.141 --> 00:38:51.409
And they coach me, you know, they're holding me, and i'm
00:38:51.409 --> 00:38:53.544
Feeling it.
00:38:53.544 --> 00:38:54.545
And i'm like, okay, i think i can do it.
00:38:54.545 --> 00:38:55.679
And so the instructor kind of lets off his hand.
00:38:55.679 --> 00:38:57.748
And i immediately, i mean, it takes me under.
00:38:57.748 --> 00:38:59.517
I have zero ability to surf.
00:38:59.517 --> 00:39:03.087
It takes me under.
00:39:03.087 --> 00:39:04.422
It devils me over.
00:39:04.422 --> 00:39:05.656
And it sends me up on this ledge.
00:39:05.656 --> 00:39:07.458
And i'm coming up.
00:39:07.458 --> 00:39:09.760
And i'm like, i mean, i can't see anything.
00:39:09.760 --> 00:39:11.128
My hair's in front of my face.
00:39:11.128 --> 00:39:13.297
I'm blowing water out of my nose and my mouth.
00:39:13.297 --> 00:39:15.499
And all i see, i look over it.
00:39:15.499 --> 00:39:17.735
And all i see is my son.
00:39:17.735 --> 00:39:19.103
His eyes are this big.
00:39:19.103 --> 00:39:20.304
And he's like, mom, mom, mom, mom.
00:39:20.304 --> 00:39:21.639
That's all i can hear him yelling.
00:39:21.639 --> 00:39:23.240
Mom, mom, mom, mom.
00:39:23.240 --> 00:39:24.942
All i can hear and i look down and my swimsuit has completely
00:39:24.942 --> 00:39:30.714
Come down and there's a line of people and i'm standing up
00:39:30.714 --> 00:39:34.852
Trying to get the water out i have no idea and all i can see
00:39:34.852 --> 00:39:38.823
Is my son going mom, mom, mom!
00:39:38.823 --> 00:39:40.624
This is nothing you dream your son will have to do.
00:39:40.624 --> 00:39:43.127
It's the worst nightmare ever of my life, ever.
00:39:43.127 --> 00:39:47.097
At that moment, i literally thought, just take me to heaven.
00:39:47.097 --> 00:39:50.734
I cannot.
00:39:50.734 --> 00:39:51.802
He can't unsee this.
00:39:51.802 --> 00:39:52.570
He cannot unsee this.
00:39:52.570 --> 00:39:53.804
Nor will all the other people ever unsee this moment.
00:39:53.804 --> 00:39:56.941
Just take me to heaven.
00:39:56.941 --> 00:39:58.209
I had to do the walk of shame.
00:39:58.209 --> 00:39:59.443
I had to get off and walk in front of everybody to leave.
00:39:59.443 --> 00:40:02.146
The worst scenario ever.
00:40:02.146 --> 00:40:03.814
But i'm telling you to this day, he'll walk in a room and he'll
00:40:03.814 --> 00:40:09.119
Be like, mom, mom, mom.
00:40:09.119 --> 00:40:11.322
I mean, he'll just, i mean, we'll just, and i literally, i
00:40:11.322 --> 00:40:13.924
Will cry laughing.
00:40:13.924 --> 00:40:16.126
The moment is so seared into a memory, and it is a moment,
00:40:16.126 --> 00:40:18.362
Though i wish it never would have happened.
00:40:18.362 --> 00:40:20.664
And that way, he and i, it's our little hilarious thing that did
00:40:20.664 --> 00:40:23.901
Not want to happen, but it is, and in the weirdest way, it's
00:40:23.901 --> 00:40:29.707
Joy-filled, not because i wish that would have happened.
00:40:29.707 --> 00:40:33.244
Because it connected us, and it's now this kind of thing that
00:40:33.244 --> 00:40:36.180
I have with him.
00:40:36.180 --> 00:40:37.414
Dad doesn't have that.
00:40:37.414 --> 00:40:38.749
You know, that experience was lived alone with us and 10 other
00:40:38.749 --> 00:40:42.653
People, unfortunately.
00:40:42.653 --> 00:40:43.888
He will say it's one of the worst moments of his life.
00:40:43.888 --> 00:40:45.956
I mean, hands down, easy.
00:40:45.956 --> 00:40:48.025
Whatever it takes.
00:40:48.025 --> 00:40:49.527
But whatever it takes.
00:40:49.527 --> 00:40:50.861
This is, when we surrender to the lord, we say, lord, whatever
00:40:50.861 --> 00:40:53.264
It takes.
00:40:53.264 --> 00:40:54.231
Whatever it takes to bond our children.
00:40:54.231 --> 00:40:56.100
I don't know why embarrassing moments have to happen.
00:40:56.100 --> 00:40:58.536
But i do believe, well, god will use them for good because it did
00:40:58.536 --> 00:41:01.205
Something that is just funny.
00:41:01.205 --> 00:41:04.675
And i think god knew for me to relate to my son.
00:41:04.675 --> 00:41:07.344
I have to relate to him on a funny level now.
00:41:07.344 --> 00:41:09.380
Now he's 22.
00:41:09.380 --> 00:41:11.181
And i can't mother him in the same way.
00:41:11.181 --> 00:41:14.451
So looking for those points of joy are a really good connector.
00:41:14.451 --> 00:41:19.523
So that story, unfortunately, is just to encourage someone
00:41:19.523 --> 00:41:24.028
That's listening.
00:41:24.028 --> 00:41:25.362
But, you know, there may be a moment in your parenting that
00:41:25.362 --> 00:41:27.231
You think is a terrible moment, but maybe in hindsight, you'll
00:41:27.231 --> 00:41:30.668
Be able to see god using it for something.
00:41:30.668 --> 00:41:33.037
- my family's had its fair share of difficult times and difficult
00:41:34.238 --> 00:41:37.541
Moments, and i'm really quick to try to look in the eyes of my
00:41:37.541 --> 00:41:42.179
Children and see if they're kind of carrying the weight of the
00:41:42.179 --> 00:41:44.782
World on them.
00:41:44.782 --> 00:41:47.051
And when i see that and when i can identify that, i try to find
00:41:47.051 --> 00:41:48.686
These moments where my kids can have a dance break, have a
00:41:48.686 --> 00:41:51.722
Worship moment, and really put that smile back on their faces,
00:41:51.722 --> 00:41:55.059
Whether that's because of a bad sports game or maybe a
00:41:55.059 --> 00:41:57.895
Bad test score.
00:41:57.895 --> 00:41:59.463
If i could just turn that around with a little bit of joy, i can
00:41:59.463 --> 00:42:02.766
See that those children of mine are going to shape the way that
00:42:02.766 --> 00:42:06.437
They handle hardships in the future.
00:42:06.437 --> 00:42:08.172
- but also, it can be something that's healing with your
00:42:08.172 --> 00:42:11.442
Husband, too.
00:42:11.442 --> 00:42:13.611
You can have those moments because before we were married,
00:42:13.611 --> 00:42:14.612
Barry would tease me.
00:42:14.612 --> 00:42:16.914
I'm very modest.
00:42:16.914 --> 00:42:18.248
I mean, i would never wear anything even
00:42:18.248 --> 00:42:20.384
Slightly revealing.
00:42:20.384 --> 00:42:21.452
He would try to get me to wear shorter dresses.
00:42:21.452 --> 00:42:22.453
And i'm like, absolutely not.
00:42:22.453 --> 00:42:24.121
I've got scottish knees.
00:42:24.121 --> 00:42:25.122
You don't need to see them.
00:42:25.122 --> 00:42:26.457
And so he would just, he would tease me constantly about how
00:42:26.457 --> 00:42:30.995
Modest i was.
00:42:30.995 --> 00:42:32.997
And so i decided to do something, which i thought was
00:42:32.997 --> 00:42:37.534
Going to be a statement.
00:42:37.534 --> 00:42:39.069
And it was just not the statement i intended to make.
00:42:39.069 --> 00:42:41.305
I decided for our honeymoon, i was going to order a
00:42:41.305 --> 00:42:45.042
Catwoman suit.
00:42:45.042 --> 00:42:46.477
And so i had them send it just to the hotel where we would be.
00:42:46.477 --> 00:42:49.780
So after the wedding, which was so much fun with our family and
00:42:49.780 --> 00:42:54.084
Stuff, we went to the hotel and i took that box, and i opened
00:42:54.084 --> 00:42:57.888
It up.
00:42:57.888 --> 00:42:58.789
And what they'd sent me was garfield.
00:42:58.789 --> 00:43:00.524
It was a big orange cat suit.
00:43:00.524 --> 00:43:04.395
This is really not kind of the vibe i was trying to
00:43:04.395 --> 00:43:08.766
Create here.
00:43:08.766 --> 00:43:10.968
And but i had a moment where i was like, because so many
00:43:10.968 --> 00:43:14.371
Moments in my childhood, i felt shamed by the fact i didn't have
00:43:14.371 --> 00:43:17.374
The right clothes.
00:43:17.374 --> 00:43:18.509
My mom couldn't afford to buy me the right shoes.
00:43:18.509 --> 00:43:20.511
I couldn't go to the senior dance because my mom couldn't
00:43:20.511 --> 00:43:23.047
Afford the dress.
00:43:23.047 --> 00:43:24.181
And so that's always been a kind of shameful thing.
00:43:24.181 --> 00:43:26.483
And i had this moment when i stood and i'm looking at myself
00:43:26.483 --> 00:43:29.153
In the mirror and i look ridiculous i mean like a 500 ton
00:43:29.153 --> 00:43:32.356
Cat and i'm like lord what and i felt the lord say you know what
00:43:32.356 --> 00:43:38.295
The person in the next room loves you and i love you and why
00:43:38.295 --> 00:43:42.966
Don't you just let that sink in as deep as you can and you can
00:43:42.966 --> 00:43:46.036
Ask barry, i mean i went out in my garfield outfit and and we
00:43:46.036 --> 00:43:49.640
Laughed but for me honestly it was healing to be able to laugh
00:43:49.640 --> 00:43:53.911
About something that would have been embarrassing to me before.
00:43:53.911 --> 00:43:58.015
Like when i used to watch the movie pretty woman, i hated the
00:43:58.015 --> 00:44:01.318
Bit where he buys her the long dress and she has to go into the
00:44:01.318 --> 00:44:05.089
Bathroom and wear it, because i'm thinking, it won't fit me,
00:44:05.089 --> 00:44:06.690
The zip won't go up.
00:44:06.690 --> 00:44:07.891
All those thoughts were in my mind that some are just
00:44:07.891 --> 00:44:10.127
Thinking, you know what, it can be not right, it can be
00:44:10.127 --> 00:44:14.398
Everything you don't want.
00:44:14.398 --> 00:44:15.766
But because of the healing love of jesus, who loves you in all
00:44:15.766 --> 00:44:19.036
Your moments, you can laugh there too.
00:44:19.036 --> 00:44:21.338
I can think of many funny or embarrassing moments that have
00:44:22.506 --> 00:44:25.843
Happened over time in my family.
00:44:25.843 --> 00:44:27.177
And really what is interesting about it is it becomes more of a
00:44:27.177 --> 00:44:30.948
Connector after the fact.
00:44:30.948 --> 00:44:33.484
Like in the moment, it is funny.
00:44:33.484 --> 00:44:34.818
But so much of what connects us is in the past, over time, us
00:44:34.818 --> 00:44:39.089
Talking about it and remembering back.
00:44:39.089 --> 00:44:42.392
And the tears start going again out of laughter because it's so
00:44:42.392 --> 00:44:44.862
Funny and sometimes you know how like stories we hear about like
00:44:44.862 --> 00:44:48.265
You caught a fish this big but by the time you tell the story
00:44:48.265 --> 00:44:50.567
The fish was this big usually that's what happens in these
00:44:50.567 --> 00:44:52.736
Stories too they definitely become more exaggerated the more
00:44:52.736 --> 00:44:55.806
You tell them and but what i love about it is, it's
00:44:55.806 --> 00:44:59.510
Reflective of how much our hearts need connection and how
00:44:59.510 --> 00:45:02.713
Much joy actually seals connection in our hearts and i
00:45:02.713 --> 00:45:08.385
Love it because god designed us that way.
00:45:08.385 --> 00:45:10.254
He designed us to connect in a lot of ways, but for me, some of
00:45:10.254 --> 00:45:13.423
The most special memories, some of the most special connections
00:45:13.423 --> 00:45:17.127
I have with my kids were through laughter and joy.
00:45:17.127 --> 00:45:19.530
We were on a marriage retreat about a month ago, and we were
00:45:19.530 --> 00:45:23.834
On a boat, and there were four couples plus us, so there were
00:45:23.834 --> 00:45:29.339
Five, but there were only four good bedrooms.
00:45:29.339 --> 00:45:33.277
It was one of those catamaranes where you, you know, sleep in
00:45:33.277 --> 00:45:34.878
The hole or whatever.
00:45:34.878 --> 00:45:36.213
So it's already a little bit campy, let's be honest.
00:45:36.213 --> 00:45:39.016
Well, we get on the boat and i'm, we're staying in like the
00:45:39.016 --> 00:45:43.921
Captain's quarters, which is basically like, it's like the
00:45:43.921 --> 00:45:48.392
Space for a bed for eight days on this boat.
00:45:48.392 --> 00:45:50.994
And i am, i mean, i'm like, this is not what i signed up for.
00:45:50.994 --> 00:45:55.265
I'm like, can i just jump off the back of the boat?
00:45:55.265 --> 00:45:57.868
Can we just get a hotel on land and let all of our friends go on
00:45:57.868 --> 00:46:00.804
This marriage adventure that we're leading, oh, by the way,
00:46:00.804 --> 00:46:04.241
Let me say that.
00:46:04.241 --> 00:46:06.543
And we're provisioning the boat, we go on, there's a gangplank,
00:46:06.543 --> 00:46:10.347
It's really rocky and weighty and, i mean, the wavy and all
00:46:10.347 --> 00:46:13.917
The things.
00:46:13.917 --> 00:46:15.686
Well, the captain's holding my hand, he slips and falls.
00:46:15.686 --> 00:46:17.588
We both end up in the water.
00:46:17.588 --> 00:46:19.890
This is literally not even 10 minutes after i saw this
00:46:19.890 --> 00:46:22.993
Bedroom, which i was absolutely like, my life has ended right
00:46:22.993 --> 00:46:26.396
Now, you know?
00:46:26.396 --> 00:46:27.965
And i fell in, it was like this...
00:46:27.965 --> 00:46:29.900
Hilarious total reset, i mean i was like did the lord know
00:46:29.900 --> 00:46:34.404
I needed to get my attitude right?
00:46:34.404 --> 00:46:37.341
I mean really i was completely out of control, which he didn't
00:46:37.341 --> 00:46:40.310
But i was like he probably should have but i have this
00:46:40.310 --> 00:46:45.716
Moment but it's going from worse to worse and worse and really
00:46:45.716 --> 00:46:51.455
Bad. and at the end of the week, i was just, you know, crying
00:46:51.455 --> 00:46:55.559
Telling everyone, i'm so sorry i needed so much grace on this
00:46:55.559 --> 00:46:58.128
Trip, because i was just, it was just not my best moment, let me
00:46:58.128 --> 00:47:01.331
Just say, because i was just really upset about the whole,
00:47:01.331 --> 00:47:03.700
The whole thing had been hard.
00:47:03.700 --> 00:47:05.435
And rod said to me at the end of the week, he said, rachel, he
00:47:05.435 --> 00:47:08.305
Said, your 20% is better than most 100%.
00:47:08.305 --> 00:47:11.742
And i'm telling you, it healed something in me because i was
00:47:11.742 --> 00:47:17.347
Feeling so much shame for how horrible i'd acted and just, you
00:47:17.347 --> 00:47:22.252
Know, i was just not myself.
00:47:22.252 --> 00:47:23.687
It was just very, everything about it was hard.
00:47:23.687 --> 00:47:26.456
That comment, i mean, it brought so much joy and it healed so
00:47:26.456 --> 00:47:29.226
Much in me.
00:47:29.226 --> 00:47:30.727
And i think that's the thing with joy.
00:47:30.727 --> 00:47:33.397
It brings absolute healing.
00:47:33.397 --> 00:47:34.998
And sometimes the first person willing to laugh is the healer
00:47:34.998 --> 00:47:38.335
In the room. yes.
00:47:38.335 --> 00:47:39.202
I'm serious.
00:47:39.202 --> 00:47:40.270
I mean, it's true.
00:47:40.270 --> 00:47:41.538
Let it be me, lord.
00:47:41.538 --> 00:47:42.572
Yes, amen.
00:47:42.572 --> 00:47:44.007
- let's be honest, life is hard.
00:47:44.007 --> 00:47:46.343
And if it's not hard right now, it's getting ready to be hard.
00:47:46.343 --> 00:47:49.947
And so if you can stop where you're at and take a moment and
00:47:49.947 --> 00:47:52.749
Find joy in just the littlest of things, it really does shape
00:47:52.749 --> 00:47:57.187
Your perspective.
00:47:57.187 --> 00:47:58.522
It helps you to see things more clearly when you're able to
00:47:58.522 --> 00:48:01.124
Laugh and not take all of it so seriously because this life that
00:48:01.124 --> 00:48:04.895
We're living is so short, and it's in us to enjoy it to
00:48:04.895 --> 00:48:08.565
The fullest.
00:48:08.565 --> 00:48:09.633
God wants the joy of the lord to be our strength.
00:48:09.633 --> 00:48:12.102
And so if you're feeling run down, if you're facing a
00:48:12.102 --> 00:48:14.137
Hardship today, find that joy of the lord today.
00:48:14.137 --> 00:48:17.307
- yeah, i'm loving this week, girls.
00:48:17.307 --> 00:48:19.710
So let's just pray for anyone who's joining us who's sitting
00:48:19.710 --> 00:48:23.113
Around the circle with us, who maybe doesn't have much joy in
00:48:23.113 --> 00:48:26.383
Their life right now.
00:48:26.383 --> 00:48:27.784
Then maybe they'll be the first one, maybe god will use them to
00:48:27.784 --> 00:48:30.220
Be the first person to light a little candle in the room and
00:48:30.220 --> 00:48:33.490
Make somebody laugh, that'd be great.
00:48:33.490 --> 00:48:35.525
- there you go.
00:48:35.525 --> 00:48:36.693
Thank you, lord.
00:48:36.693 --> 00:48:38.028
- lord jesus, we just don't even have words adequate to express
00:48:38.028 --> 00:48:41.098
How grateful we are for you, how much we love you, how silenced
00:48:41.098 --> 00:48:45.769
We are by your beauty and your magnificence, and yet your warm
00:48:45.769 --> 00:48:50.007
Embrace, you come unto me.
00:48:50.007 --> 00:48:52.275
And lord, i just want to pray right now for any sisters or
00:48:52.275 --> 00:48:55.345
Brothers who are watching, whose joy seems like a stranger at
00:48:55.345 --> 00:48:59.583
The moment.
00:48:59.583 --> 00:49:00.851
But lord, we believe that you are the source of our joy.
00:49:00.851 --> 00:49:03.487
So i ask, lord jesus, that they would just be something today,
00:49:03.487 --> 00:49:08.759
Something this evening, something tangible, that it's
00:49:08.759 --> 00:49:12.195
Like this little moment that we think, lord, you
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Sent that along.
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You knew that would make me smile.
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And lord, just light a little candle in our hearts so that
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Perhaps we could be the ones to start bringing some joy
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In our circle and i ask in jesus name, amen.
00:49:25.108 --> 00:49:30.580
- connect with us on social media and let us know how our
00:49:30.580 --> 00:49:33.316
Team can pary for you.
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♪ (music playing)
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- to the busy mom with littles, i want you to know that
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If you are finding, you know, it difficult to have joy in
00:49:45.562 --> 00:49:48.432
Parenting, each season is so short.
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Really try to look for ways that you can enjoy it right now
00:49:51.735 --> 00:49:55.472
Because i promise you the next season is coming and you will
00:49:55.472 --> 00:49:58.708
Miss the one that you're currently in, but i promise you
00:49:58.708 --> 00:50:01.578
That each season gets better.
00:50:01.578 --> 00:50:03.346
- for any single mom who's out there drowning in their grief or
00:50:03.346 --> 00:50:07.217
Their hard or just the tension of living life on the earth
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Today, i would say do one little thing a week that sparks joy.
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And for me, that was going to sonic and splitting an ice cream
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With my kids because that just, like, brought them so much joy.
00:50:20.430 --> 00:50:25.068
It seems like something so simple, but they still talk
00:50:25.068 --> 00:50:27.437
About it today.
00:50:27.437 --> 00:50:28.505
So it wasn't much.
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It cost $1.25, but it meant the world to my kids.
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So do one thing a week, one thing a week to bring joy.
00:50:32.609 --> 00:50:35.779
Stream full episodes of better together on demand.
00:50:36.813 --> 00:50:40.584
Go to bettertogether.tv stream all of our latest conversations.
00:50:40.584 --> 00:50:45.722
♪ (music playing)
00:50:45.722 --> 00:50:45.722

How Family Finds Joy | Better Together Episode 1138

January 28, 2026 | S8 E1138 | 50:59

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