No one is meant to walk alone! God demonstrates His care for us through family and community. When our biological family isn’t present--or relationships are rocky--God brings others alongside us to help us remember that we belong to His family. | TBN Prayer Line: 714-731-1000
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Closed captions
Show Timecode
Better Together | How Family Supports You | Better Together Episode 1140 | January 30, 2026
- Laurie crouch: you were not created to walk through this
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- Life alone.
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- God promises to set the lonely in families.
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- He knows how much we need each other to grow and to thrive.
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- Come on, join us.
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- [music]
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- Michelle aguilar: i can tell you about the support that i've
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- Received from my family, but it may not have as much of an
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- Impact if you don't know why.
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- So, for me, i can remember as a kid, the only thing that i
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- Wanted to be when i grew up was a mom.
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- Like, i thought i just want to be a mom, and not just, you
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- Know, because i had a baby doll or whatever.
- 00:00:58.204 --> 00:00:59.873
- I really wanted my own little family.
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- I wanted to, you know, be a soccer mom and, you know, have
- 00:01:01.407 --> 00:01:04.210
- My little white picket fence moment.
- 00:01:04.210 --> 00:01:06.446
- I wanted it all, and the second oldest of five kids, and the
- 00:01:06.446 --> 00:01:10.683
- Oldest daughter, so pretty much, motherhood is like you're in an
- 00:01:10.683 --> 00:01:14.187
- Internship program starting at like the age of five, you know?
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- It's like another kid's coming, so you've got to help out,
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- You've got to, you know, do something to kind of help the
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- Family along in a very mothering kind of role, and i very much
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- Had become that in my family and loved it.
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- I loved all of those things.
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- And all of that was great.
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- I was raised in a christian home, and, you know, very
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- Loving family.
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- And like i said, lots of kids, so a big family.
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- And for me, things changed when i was 18.
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- I was still living at home, and my parents were going through
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- Some things that i hadn't realized that they were really
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- Going through, because i got a call from my mother while i was
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- At work, i'd started a new job, and she basically--i don't even
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- Know that we had cell phones, so i think it was just a
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- Desk phone.
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- And she was like, "hey, i just need to let you know that when
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- You get home today, i won't be there."
- 00:02:04.504 --> 00:02:07.173
- And i thought, well, okay, sure.
- 00:02:07.173 --> 00:02:09.175
- You know, where will you be, you know?
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- And, she's like, "no, i don't think you understand.
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- I'm leaving your father."
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- And i thought, wow.
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- Like, this is a christian home.
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- Like, you've raised me a certain way, and this doesn't
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- Sound right.
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- What do you mean you're leaving?
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- Like you're leaving him, you guys are divorcing, this is
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- A lot.
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- And, you know, i had this, like i said, i had this dream of
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- Becoming a mom and, you know, being a parent, and it's like
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- You see a kid standing holding a balloon and that balloon is like
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- Your hope and your dream, right?
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- And as she's saying that, you know, i could kind of feel and
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- Sense my grip loosening on this dream that i had.
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- But she didn't stop there.
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- There was more to share.
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- And, she said, you know, "i also need to let you know that i'm
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- Going to be taking your two sisters with me, they're
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- Younger, and they need me, you know, so i'm gonna take them."
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- And it was in that moment that you let go.
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- That dream that i thought i don't want to be a mom.
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- I don't want to do this to another person, because what i
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- Began to believe about myself in that moment was that i wasn't
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- Worth fighting for, that there was something about me that was
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- Not good enough for her.
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- And that's a hard thing.
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- You know, you're like, as a kid, you're 18, you think i still
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- Need a mom, i still want my mom, i still need that relationship,
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- But that was her decision.
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- And she and my dad, they struggled to try to reconcile
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- For a minute, and they--it didn't really work out, and they
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- Would ultimately end up divorcing, and it shattered
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- My world.
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- And when my parents decided to divorce, i spent the next six
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- Years not speaking one word to my mother, completely gone.
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- And every single day of those six years, i still needed my
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- Mom, i still wanted my mom, and there was just no relationship
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- That i could have at that time, and so it was very difficult
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- For me.
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- Laurie: i think everybody's had the opportunity to let hope go
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- And say, laurie, man, that ship sailed for me a long time ago.
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- I have no hope of seeing my family restored.
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- I want to encourage you to keep on praying, keep on believing.
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- The bible says to not be weary in well doing.
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- You stay faithful, trusting god for your family.
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- You might not be here to see it.
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- You might go on to be with the lord and be looking down from
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- Heaven and watch your prayers being answered down here.
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- God will send someone your way.
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- God will send your son or your daughter, that relationship, god
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- Will--god has an answer for you, and it might not be the way
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- We thought, but god will perfectly answer your prayers in
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- His time, in his season, in his way, and that's the best thing
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- That we have.
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- God is with us.
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- That means we have hope, we have joy, we have peace, and all we
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- Need to do is open our arms to god and say, god, i receive
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- All that.
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- It's a free gift for us.
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- It's all there for us.
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- We just need to lean in and receive it from god, our
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- Beautiful heavenly father.
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- Michelle: but that's not where my story ends.
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- It's a very difficult part of my story, for sure, but that's not
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- Where it ends.
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- In a way that only god could, he orchestrated it to where my mom
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- And i would reconnect, and we would begin to have small
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- Conversations, new conversations, but we would
- 00:06:03.009 --> 00:06:05.278
- Ultimately find ourselves smack in the middle of a reality
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- Tv show.
- 00:06:08.981 --> 00:06:10.316
- And i know, super-unconventional.
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- Most people don't get thrown into a reality tv show with
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- Their parents.
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- And so this was a family edition, and the mindset going
- 00:06:17.557 --> 00:06:21.794
- Into that show was, oh, you know, we'll be fine, we'll make
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- New friends.
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- I don't have to spend all my time with my mother.
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- The healing was still coming slowly.
- 00:06:27.767 --> 00:06:31.170
- But again, it was so interesting in that this was a family
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- Edition, and when they announced it, i had a complete moment of
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- Just shock, because i thought everyone here, it was husbands
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- And wives against parents and children as far as the
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- Teams went.
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- Sheila walsh: and in case anybody missed it, this was "the
- 00:06:48.554 --> 00:06:50.189
- Biggest loser."
- 00:06:50.189 --> 00:06:51.524
- Michelle: this is "the biggest loser," that's right, reality
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- Weight loss competition show.
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- So my mom and i had the same struggle, which was needing and
- 00:06:54.594 --> 00:06:57.463
- Wanting to lose weight, to be healthier, to live healthier
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- Lives, and so we thought as we rebuild our relationship, we
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- Could rebuild our lives and our physical bodies too.
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- But it was, you know, very difficult to hear that, oh,
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- Gosh, everybody else here has their love and their support and
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- Somebody that they care very deeply about.
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- And i remember looking over to my right and seeing my mom and
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- Just thinking what have i done?
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- What have i done?
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- I don't know if i can fully trust my mom.
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- I don't know if i can fully rely on her, because she left me.
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- There were some very difficult days in there, but when i tell
- 00:07:32.932 --> 00:07:36.335
- You that to be thrown into a reality tv show where you're cut
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- Off from the outside world, and really all you have time to do
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- Is to work on a relationship was such a gift from the lord.
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- Yes, there were cameras, and there were microphones, and
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- There were all the things that come with the television
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- Production, but what was happening underneath and during
- 00:07:53.185 --> 00:07:56.455
- This time was the opportunity to see my mom in a different way,
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- To have to be an encouragement to her in ways that i didn't
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- Know if i was capable of.
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- And i had to learn to love and support her in the place that
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- She was at.
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- And we had this new foundation that we could grow on, that, you
- 00:08:13.773 --> 00:08:18.311
- Know, we were in an unfamiliar space, we were in an unfamiliar
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- Place, and so this place held no memories.
- 00:08:21.681 --> 00:08:23.749
- It had no, you know, baggage coming into it other than what
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- We brought with it, but we were in a new place, creating
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- New memories.
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- And i watched as my mom was supporting me in all these
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- Different little, small ways, these tiny little steps in the
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- Right direction.
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- And that has made such an impact on me and the person i am today.
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- That's now been, gosh, almost 18 years ago that that happened.
- 00:08:44.804 --> 00:08:50.109
- And i've watched as the lord has continued to build on that
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- Foundation, and the need for family and the need for support
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- Has impacted and changed the way that i love and support my
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- Children, because that desire was put on my heart from a very
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- Young age, and while it felt as though the little hope and the
- 00:09:06.592 --> 00:09:10.296
- Dream floated away, as i began to repair that relationship with
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- My mother, it's as though the balloon came back down, and it
- 00:09:14.767 --> 00:09:18.971
- Became within grasp, and i began to see that, you know, we are
- 00:09:18.971 --> 00:09:22.875
- All going to struggle through different things in our lives.
- 00:09:22.875 --> 00:09:27.279
- And i'm not sitting here today as someone saying i'm a victim
- 00:09:27.279 --> 00:09:30.549
- Of some circumstance, but know that god knew every little thing
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- That was going to happen.
- 00:09:33.986 --> 00:09:35.321
- This isn't a plan b life that i'm living.
- 00:09:35.321 --> 00:09:37.823
- God didn't hear me get that phone call and go, "wow, i'm
- 00:09:37.823 --> 00:09:40.292
- Going to have to figure out how i'm going to just get michelle
- 00:09:40.292 --> 00:09:43.529
- Out of this one."
- 00:09:43.529 --> 00:09:44.964
- But it was really--god still knew that these things were
- 00:09:44.964 --> 00:09:48.401
- Going to happen, and he still orchestrated them anyways.
- 00:09:48.401 --> 00:09:51.971
- And as a believer, to also think that god orchestrated this for
- 00:09:51.971 --> 00:09:56.976
- My good, and now i see that it's not just me but for my children,
- 00:09:56.976 --> 00:10:06.085
- That they get a different mom.
- 00:10:06.085 --> 00:10:07.887
- If i would have never had any hardship, if i had never
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- Experienced that distance, i would love them differently.
- 00:10:11.090 --> 00:10:15.594
- I wouldn't love them with the same tenacity.
- 00:10:15.594 --> 00:10:18.197
- I wouldn't give them a different reassurance than what i might
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- Have before.
- 00:10:22.001 --> 00:10:23.369
- And i look at the lives of my children, and they need the
- 00:10:23.369 --> 00:10:26.372
- Loving support of a family unit, and they get to see that because
- 00:10:26.372 --> 00:10:31.143
- I've lived through some things.
- 00:10:31.143 --> 00:10:34.246
- Michelle: if you feel like you have been abandoned and you have
- 00:10:34.246 --> 00:10:36.849
- No support, i want you to know that god still sees you, that
- 00:10:36.849 --> 00:10:40.553
- You are not forgotten, that you are not alone in whatever trial
- 00:10:40.553 --> 00:10:44.390
- You are facing today.
- 00:10:44.390 --> 00:10:45.925
- You may feel distant from the lord, you may feel far away, but
- 00:10:45.925 --> 00:10:48.694
- I want to assure you, you are not alone.
- 00:10:48.694 --> 00:10:51.530
- I want to encourage you to get back in your bible, ask god to
- 00:10:51.530 --> 00:10:54.767
- Speak to you through the bible.
- 00:10:54.767 --> 00:10:56.469
- And if not, start with a simple prayer, asking the lord to
- 00:10:56.469 --> 00:10:59.505
- Reveal himself to you or to bring a friend along that will
- 00:10:59.505 --> 00:11:02.274
- Help encourage you in your journey.
- 00:11:02.274 --> 00:11:04.844
- I don't know, for anyone watching that, you know, you
- 00:11:04.844 --> 00:11:08.047
- Think that maybe because things didn't go the way you thought
- 00:11:08.047 --> 00:11:10.750
- They would, or your family doesn't look the way that you
- 00:11:10.750 --> 00:11:13.452
- Think that it should, like i said, this was a christian home.
- 00:11:13.452 --> 00:11:17.957
- I thought if anything, like this couldn't happen to my family.
- 00:11:17.957 --> 00:11:21.427
- My family had dedicated its life to ministry.
- 00:11:21.427 --> 00:11:23.696
- This was not supposed to happen, and it did.
- 00:11:23.696 --> 00:11:27.199
- And yet i'm sitting here today saying and it was yet still for
- 00:11:27.199 --> 00:11:31.303
- My good, and god is continuing to use it to bless not only my
- 00:11:31.303 --> 00:11:36.408
- Life, but the lives of my children.
- 00:11:36.408 --> 00:11:38.744
- And so, you know, i have this very loving and supportive
- 00:11:38.744 --> 00:11:41.747
- Family who has all of its bumps and bruises, and it is by no
- 00:11:41.747 --> 00:11:45.584
- Means perfect, but i feel like that's what families should be.
- 00:11:45.584 --> 00:11:49.922
- They should have a little bit of everything in there.
- 00:11:49.922 --> 00:11:52.391
- We should have some life that we can draw from and some
- 00:11:52.391 --> 00:11:55.094
- Experiences that we can show each other this is where god can
- 00:11:55.094 --> 00:11:59.565
- Bring us through, you know?
- 00:11:59.565 --> 00:12:01.433
- Laurie: thank you for sharing that, first of all.
- 00:12:01.433 --> 00:12:03.769
- I think every family has-- nobody's perfect, nobody.
- 00:12:03.769 --> 00:12:08.274
- You know, we all have situations in our life that we just have to
- 00:12:08.274 --> 00:12:14.146
- Hand over to the lord, and i think we look to people and put
- 00:12:14.146 --> 00:12:20.286
- Our hope and our trust and our faith and all of that
- 00:12:20.286 --> 00:12:24.223
- Into people.
- 00:12:24.223 --> 00:12:26.692
- And of course, we can sit here and say how easy it is that god
- 00:12:26.692 --> 00:12:30.963
- Wants all of that trust and god wants all that, you know?
- 00:12:30.963 --> 00:12:34.333
- And i know it's easy to say, but walking through stuff is very
- 00:12:34.333 --> 00:12:39.338
- Real and heartbreaking, but the redemption of christ.
- 00:12:39.338 --> 00:12:44.476
- You know, i talked to even to some of our team here at "better
- 00:12:44.476 --> 00:12:47.680
- Together," and i've got the sweetest girls here, and you
- 00:12:47.680 --> 00:12:52.551
- Know, a lot of them have gone through stuff, they've gone
- 00:12:52.551 --> 00:12:55.221
- Through abusive marriages with children, and one of them said
- 00:12:55.221 --> 00:13:01.260
- To me the other day, she said, i just have to tell you that
- 00:13:01.260 --> 00:13:05.698
- There's such redemption in what i have now, what god has
- 00:13:05.698 --> 00:13:10.469
- Restored to me with a beautiful husband that loves my kids.
- 00:13:10.469 --> 00:13:14.607
- And you know, god is the redeemer of not only things
- 00:13:14.607 --> 00:13:19.245
- But people.
- 00:13:19.245 --> 00:13:20.913
- You know, if we'll trust him.
- 00:13:20.913 --> 00:13:23.482
- Sheila: one of the things that's hard in life to learn is that
- 00:13:23.482 --> 00:13:25.751
- You cannot make somebody change.
- 00:13:25.751 --> 00:13:28.354
- I think sometimes as women, we think we've got this, you know,
- 00:13:28.354 --> 00:13:31.590
- That we'll marry you, and then you'll change or, you know, our
- 00:13:31.590 --> 00:13:34.827
- Kids, we'll do this, and then you'll change.
- 00:13:34.827 --> 00:13:36.962
- And really, honestly, the greatest gift you can give
- 00:13:36.962 --> 00:13:39.498
- Somebody who doesn't want to change is to pray for them,
- 00:13:39.498 --> 00:13:42.968
- Because only the holy spirit can really work real change in our
- 00:13:42.968 --> 00:13:46.639
- Life, in anyone else's life.
- 00:13:46.639 --> 00:13:48.941
- So if you find yourself in a situation where you think, well,
- 00:13:48.941 --> 00:13:51.844
- I'm having conflict in my family right now, and they're not even
- 00:13:51.844 --> 00:13:55.014
- Willing to change, then make it a matter of prayer between you
- 00:13:55.014 --> 00:13:59.051
- And the lord.
- 00:13:59.051 --> 00:14:00.386
- A, make the lord your best friend, because he loves you so
- 00:14:00.386 --> 00:14:02.955
- Much, and then pray that god will do what only he can do in
- 00:14:02.955 --> 00:14:06.325
- Someone else's life.
- 00:14:06.325 --> 00:14:07.726
- But don't get frustrated by the fact that you can't make someone
- 00:14:07.726 --> 00:14:10.696
- Change, because that really is the holy spirit's job.
- 00:14:10.696 --> 00:14:14.833
- Sheila: our "better together" community is built on love and
- 00:14:14.833 --> 00:14:17.369
- Friendship, and we want you to join us.
- 00:14:17.369 --> 00:14:19.338
- Laurie: follow us on social media to make friends with women
- 00:14:19.338 --> 00:14:22.441
- All over the world.
- 00:14:22.441 --> 00:14:25.044
- Female announcer: let's keep the conversation going.
- 00:14:25.044 --> 00:14:27.246
- You can find the better together podcast on your favorite
- 00:14:27.246 --> 00:14:30.049
- Listening platform, subscribe today.
- 00:14:30.049 --> 00:14:35.991
- Listening platform, subscribe today.
- 00:14:35.991 --> 00:14:36.555
- [music]
- 00:14:36.789 --> 00:14:39.191
- Laurie: they say that family is described as the glue which
- 00:14:39.191 --> 00:14:43.862
- Holds the fabric of society together, and that's true, and
- 00:14:43.862 --> 00:14:50.102
- It's the way god created it to be.
- 00:14:50.102 --> 00:14:52.938
- And so i think, you know, all the situations when you think
- 00:14:52.938 --> 00:14:56.842
- About people watching today, you have every story in the world,
- 00:14:56.842 --> 00:15:01.547
- And every story is different.
- 00:15:01.547 --> 00:15:03.816
- You know, there's single mothers, there are people that
- 00:15:03.816 --> 00:15:06.585
- Don't have families.
- 00:15:06.585 --> 00:15:08.287
- What do you do without your family?
- 00:15:08.287 --> 00:15:10.255
- You know, there's people maybe feeling like they're walking
- 00:15:10.255 --> 00:15:14.093
- Alone, and i don't have that support, but god says, "i put
- 00:15:14.093 --> 00:15:19.164
- The lonely in families," you know?
- 00:15:19.164 --> 00:15:21.767
- And there are people-- look at your ministry.
- 00:15:21.767 --> 00:15:25.771
- Your ministry is the widows.
- 00:15:25.771 --> 00:15:28.440
- You know, some of those little ladies probably don't have
- 00:15:28.440 --> 00:15:32.478
- Anything, and they're alone, you know?
- 00:15:32.478 --> 00:15:35.781
- But god has a way of bringing people around you to support in
- 00:15:35.781 --> 00:15:40.686
- Powerful ways.
- 00:15:40.686 --> 00:15:42.054
- I know you had that so many times and saw that in your own
- 00:15:42.054 --> 00:15:44.690
- Life, but situations of now caretaking for your parents, you
- 00:15:44.690 --> 00:15:51.397
- Know, all the different things that life brings us god is such
- 00:15:51.397 --> 00:15:56.902
- A redeemer of hope.
- 00:15:56.902 --> 00:15:59.505
- Laurie: you might be feeling lonely today.
- 00:15:59.505 --> 00:16:01.540
- You might think there's nobody for me, there's nobody to care
- 00:16:01.540 --> 00:16:04.510
- And nobody to help me.
- 00:16:04.510 --> 00:16:06.311
- God has a plan for you.
- 00:16:06.311 --> 00:16:07.946
- God has a plan for your life.
- 00:16:07.946 --> 00:16:09.348
- Sometimes we just have to get busy, we have to step out
- 00:16:09.348 --> 00:16:12.751
- In faith.
- 00:16:12.751 --> 00:16:14.086
- Go find a community, go to church, open your life up, find
- 00:16:14.086 --> 00:16:17.656
- A friend, be friendly to somebody else, give what you
- 00:16:17.656 --> 00:16:21.293
- Need, give what you need away.
- 00:16:21.293 --> 00:16:24.730
- You need a smile, you give a smile.
- 00:16:24.730 --> 00:16:27.699
- God has a plan for you.
- 00:16:27.699 --> 00:16:29.701
- He says, "i'll never leave you, i'll never forsake you," but
- 00:16:29.701 --> 00:16:32.704
- There are people ready to surround you with god's love.
- 00:16:32.704 --> 00:16:36.909
- And so i just encourage you to find a community.
- 00:16:36.909 --> 00:16:39.611
- We're a community, "better together," right here.
- 00:16:39.611 --> 00:16:42.047
- We love you, and we support you, we pray for you here, and so
- 00:16:42.047 --> 00:16:46.618
- That's one thing, but for you to go out and you to do what you
- 00:16:46.618 --> 00:16:50.656
- Know to do, and god will fill your life with beautiful people
- 00:16:50.656 --> 00:16:55.527
- And joy unspeakable.
- 00:16:55.527 --> 00:16:57.963
- Sheila: but then what i think matters so much with your story,
- 00:16:57.963 --> 00:17:01.733
- Michelle, and with what you're saying, too, is stewardship.
- 00:17:01.733 --> 00:17:06.171
- How do you steward your suffering?
- 00:17:06.171 --> 00:17:08.574
- Because i think that there's things we all go through that we
- 00:17:08.574 --> 00:17:12.211
- Think, wow, no, i would not have chosen that lord, but how do i
- 00:17:12.211 --> 00:17:16.315
- Steward that?
- 00:17:16.315 --> 00:17:17.683
- Because of the fact that now that you reach out, you're about
- 00:17:17.683 --> 00:17:19.818
- To have conference with over 500 widows, that's gotta make heaven
- 00:17:19.818 --> 00:17:24.490
- So happy.
- 00:17:24.490 --> 00:17:25.858
- If you think about it, it's like the joseph thing, the very thing
- 00:17:25.858 --> 00:17:28.494
- You intended for evil, god intended for good.
- 00:17:28.494 --> 00:17:31.730
- So i'm just thinking of anybody watching and thinking, this part
- 00:17:31.730 --> 00:17:34.233
- Of my story is broken, and this part didn't work, but it's
- 00:17:34.233 --> 00:17:38.070
- Amazing what god will do with a broken life when you give him
- 00:17:38.070 --> 00:17:40.739
- All the pieces.
- 00:17:40.739 --> 00:17:42.074
- It's amazing how he will shine through those places.
- 00:17:42.074 --> 00:17:44.443
- Rachel brown: viktor frankl said suffering ceases to become
- 00:17:44.443 --> 00:17:47.713
- Suffering when it finds meaning, and i think it's so true.
- 00:17:47.713 --> 00:17:51.450
- I think so many people just really--they just continually
- 00:17:51.450 --> 00:17:55.454
- Suffer, because they just haven't found meaning.
- 00:17:55.454 --> 00:17:58.957
- But yeah, and i didn't even know that's what i was doing.
- 00:17:58.957 --> 00:18:02.027
- You know, i didn't even know i was making meaning or making
- 00:18:02.027 --> 00:18:05.297
- Purpose out of suffering.
- 00:18:05.297 --> 00:18:06.899
- I mean, i had no idea.
- 00:18:06.899 --> 00:18:08.233
- I was just trying to love on the younger version of myself.
- 00:18:08.233 --> 00:18:10.636
- And you know, i always--i really feel like the lord showed
- 00:18:10.636 --> 00:18:14.706
- Me this in mark 5 when he was in the boat and people are always,
- 00:18:14.706 --> 00:18:18.577
- You know, all about the storm and how he calmed the storm, but
- 00:18:18.577 --> 00:18:21.079
- I--when i read mark 5, i'm thinking about the demoniac on
- 00:18:21.079 --> 00:18:24.550
- The other side.
- 00:18:24.550 --> 00:18:25.884
- And for me, looking at that guy who jesus knew he was on the
- 00:18:25.884 --> 00:18:29.555
- Other side, and he goes across, he calms the storm, he's like,
- 00:18:29.555 --> 00:18:33.625
- Oh, just wait, that was just like a little taste.
- 00:18:33.625 --> 00:18:36.495
- He calms the storm, and then he goes to the other side, and then
- 00:18:36.495 --> 00:18:38.530
- He, you know, releases that man, and then that man goes and leads
- 00:18:38.530 --> 00:18:43.268
- Ten cities to jesus, right?
- 00:18:43.268 --> 00:18:46.305
- I mean, like, is the person who demonstrates the gospel, repeats
- 00:18:46.305 --> 00:18:51.343
- The gospel and says this man did this for me.
- 00:18:51.343 --> 00:18:53.645
- And i think about that, because we wanna ask why did this
- 00:18:53.645 --> 00:18:57.549
- Happen, right?
- 00:18:57.549 --> 00:18:58.884
- We try to, you know, build resilience, like asking why will
- 00:18:58.884 --> 00:19:02.554
- Not build resilience.
- 00:19:02.554 --> 00:19:05.057
- That will absolutely take you out.
- 00:19:05.057 --> 00:19:06.992
- And the way you build resilience to me is you look for the who.
- 00:19:06.992 --> 00:19:13.265
- Who is on the other side of this pain?
- 00:19:13.265 --> 00:19:15.667
- And i think for me that has been an overarching theme that i
- 00:19:15.667 --> 00:19:21.573
- Didn't even know i was doing.
- 00:19:21.573 --> 00:19:23.842
- I mean, you know, you don't know it till--you really don't know
- 00:19:23.842 --> 00:19:26.378
- Till you look back so many times.
- 00:19:26.378 --> 00:19:28.080
- And so for anyone who's listening, and they're like in
- 00:19:28.080 --> 00:19:30.482
- It, you won't see it clearly till it's behind you, you know?
- 00:19:30.482 --> 00:19:35.454
- But i think for so many of us, if you can just look for a who
- 00:19:35.454 --> 00:19:39.491
- And you activate yourself to who's on the other side just
- 00:19:39.491 --> 00:19:42.628
- Like jesus did, he was totally activated to that man, to
- 00:19:42.628 --> 00:19:45.797
- The demoniac.
- 00:19:45.797 --> 00:19:47.132
- Blynda lane: and i think sometimes you're just holding
- 00:19:47.132 --> 00:19:49.701
- On, right?
- 00:19:49.701 --> 00:19:51.036
- Depending on where you are in that story.
- 00:19:51.036 --> 00:19:52.471
- If you're in the messy middle, you might just be holding on for
- 00:19:52.471 --> 00:19:55.440
- Dear life.
- 00:19:55.440 --> 00:19:56.775
- You don't even see purpose in it yet, you're just trying to
- 00:19:56.775 --> 00:19:59.077
- Figure out how to take your next breath or survive, but i think
- 00:19:59.077 --> 00:20:02.714
- That's why in one of our conversations we were talking
- 00:20:02.714 --> 00:20:05.250
- About consistency and how even with your program, "the biggest
- 00:20:05.250 --> 00:20:09.621
- Loser," weight loss journey, so much of getting to the goal you
- 00:20:09.621 --> 00:20:14.192
- Wanted was the consistency, and i think if you can just get it
- 00:20:14.192 --> 00:20:18.130
- In your spirit that he's the greatest hope you have, so don't
- 00:20:18.130 --> 00:20:23.068
- Give up on hope, don't give up, just hold on.
- 00:20:23.068 --> 00:20:25.604
- Through the messy middle there may be on the other side a full
- 00:20:25.604 --> 00:20:28.740
- Ministry waiting for you.
- 00:20:28.740 --> 00:20:30.075
- There may be--there's gonna be children legacy on the other
- 00:20:30.075 --> 00:20:32.911
- Side, but in that hard moment it may feel like the easier thing
- 00:20:32.911 --> 00:20:38.050
- To do is to just give up when we know you couldn't--i mean,
- 00:20:38.050 --> 00:20:42.387
- You'd be in a completely different place had you just
- 00:20:42.387 --> 00:20:45.857
- Given up hope, had you walked away from the lord, had you
- 00:20:45.857 --> 00:20:48.460
- Asked the why too many times that you fell victim to
- 00:20:48.460 --> 00:20:52.631
- Victim mentality.
- 00:20:52.631 --> 00:20:53.999
- And the encouragement there is if you're finding yourself in
- 00:20:53.999 --> 00:20:57.602
- That messy middle, just keep going, don't lose hope.
- 00:20:57.602 --> 00:21:01.606
- Rachel: yeah, yes, absolutely.
- 00:21:01.606 --> 00:21:03.375
- I think seeing it, too, like in my daughter going through an
- 00:21:03.375 --> 00:21:06.411
- Eating disorder on the other side of the trauma we've already
- 00:21:06.411 --> 00:21:09.348
- Lived, i'm like, lord, i have enough stories, i don't need
- 00:21:09.348 --> 00:21:11.683
- Another story.
- 00:21:11.683 --> 00:21:13.051
- We've all said that.
- 00:21:13.051 --> 00:21:14.386
- But i mean, i think watching her and watching her draw from what
- 00:21:14.386 --> 00:21:18.890
- She'd seen, even though i wasn't teaching her this is how you be
- 00:21:18.890 --> 00:21:22.794
- Resilient, campbell, you know?
- 00:21:22.794 --> 00:21:24.629
- But really teaching her every day, one day at a time, you
- 00:21:24.629 --> 00:21:28.700
- Know, the discipline of getting up and, you know, doing the
- 00:21:28.700 --> 00:21:31.870
- Things when she got out of treatment that she knew this is
- 00:21:31.870 --> 00:21:33.972
- Gonna lead to a long, beautiful life.
- 00:21:33.972 --> 00:21:36.541
- And those old patterns aren't gonna serve me, but just seeing
- 00:21:36.541 --> 00:21:39.745
- Her resilience, he just like, oh my goodness, i mean, and
- 00:21:39.745 --> 00:21:43.048
- Thinking how much more--i mean, how thrilled the lord is when he
- 00:21:43.048 --> 00:21:48.754
- Can see that in the generations, you know?
- 00:21:48.754 --> 00:21:51.056
- And that it's transferring.
- 00:21:51.056 --> 00:21:53.325
- I mean, you know, it's just--
- 00:21:53.325 --> 00:21:54.693
- Blynda: it's not just i think for her to go through something
- 00:21:54.693 --> 00:21:57.462
- So hard at such a young age, her faith became hers.
- 00:21:57.462 --> 00:22:01.066
- It's not she wasn't borrowing your faith that she watched her
- 00:22:01.066 --> 00:22:04.770
- Mom walk through hard things and saw her mom have this faith
- 00:22:04.770 --> 00:22:07.506
- In god.
- 00:22:07.506 --> 00:22:08.840
- She had to walk through something hard that she had to
- 00:22:08.840 --> 00:22:10.675
- Make the decision this is now my faith, and i've seen god move on
- 00:22:10.675 --> 00:22:14.613
- My behalf in my life.
- 00:22:14.613 --> 00:22:16.448
- And that for her actually sets her up for so much success in
- 00:22:16.448 --> 00:22:20.018
- Her life, you know?
- 00:22:20.018 --> 00:22:22.020
- Rachel: but really walked away like in that hard place.
- 00:22:22.020 --> 00:22:25.290
- I'm so mad at god, you know what i mean?
- 00:22:25.290 --> 00:22:27.726
- And so and then came back, and i just go back to train up a
- 00:22:27.726 --> 00:22:31.296
- Child, when they're old, they will not depart from it.
- 00:22:31.296 --> 00:22:33.799
- And she was older, and yet it was still the guiding light,
- 00:22:33.799 --> 00:22:38.670
- You know?
- 00:22:38.670 --> 00:22:40.005
- And i just, oh, thank you, lord, for your word that i can stand
- 00:22:40.005 --> 00:22:43.508
- On it, and it never comes back void.
- 00:22:43.508 --> 00:22:45.243
- Because truly, i was just like, when she is old, when she is
- 00:22:45.243 --> 00:22:48.780
- Old, i would say that to myself over and over and over, because
- 00:22:48.780 --> 00:22:51.550
- I knew, i mean, that will not return void.
- 00:22:51.550 --> 00:22:55.687
- Blynda: i mean, it's so true, though, finding maybe one
- 00:22:55.687 --> 00:22:58.857
- Scripture, too, that you can just repeat over and over that
- 00:22:58.857 --> 00:23:02.928
- Just brings peace to your heart.
- 00:23:02.928 --> 00:23:05.063
- I know there's been seasons for me that was isaiah 26:3 for me,
- 00:23:05.063 --> 00:23:09.568
- He will keep me in perfect peace, those whose minds are
- 00:23:09.568 --> 00:23:11.736
- Steadfast on him for those they trust in him.
- 00:23:11.736 --> 00:23:14.005
- I mean, like, i just know i will be in perfect peace because i'm
- 00:23:14.005 --> 00:23:16.675
- Trusting you god.
- 00:23:16.675 --> 00:23:18.009
- Like, if you can find one scripture and just put that on
- 00:23:18.009 --> 00:23:21.847
- Repeat, if that's all you can do, then do that, then say it,
- 00:23:21.847 --> 00:23:25.584
- Speak it out loud.
- 00:23:25.584 --> 00:23:26.952
- I think there's such importance in speaking the word out loud,
- 00:23:26.952 --> 00:23:30.155
- Speaking over your family, speaking generational blessing
- 00:23:30.155 --> 00:23:34.493
- Over your family, there's such importance in that.
- 00:23:34.493 --> 00:23:37.729
- Michelle: as a family, it's important that we stay
- 00:23:37.729 --> 00:23:39.631
- Encouraged each and every day, because there are so many things
- 00:23:39.631 --> 00:23:42.701
- In life where disappointments come.
- 00:23:42.701 --> 00:23:44.903
- And so i have two young girls, and i want to constantly be
- 00:23:44.903 --> 00:23:48.607
- Their cheerleader.
- 00:23:48.607 --> 00:23:49.941
- One thing i do each and every day is let them know that i love
- 00:23:49.941 --> 00:23:53.411
- Them, that i'm cheering for them, and that i believe
- 00:23:53.411 --> 00:23:56.114
- In them.
- 00:23:56.114 --> 00:23:57.449
- And i feel like that's one way that i encourage them, but my
- 00:23:57.449 --> 00:24:00.652
- Children in turn, because they see that modeled in me, are able
- 00:24:00.652 --> 00:24:03.688
- To encourage me.
- 00:24:03.688 --> 00:24:05.056
- They have seen me sad, they have seen me upset, and they are the
- 00:24:05.056 --> 00:24:08.026
- First ones to respond with a love, a loving kind word, or
- 00:24:08.026 --> 00:24:11.863
- They will come and embrace me.
- 00:24:11.863 --> 00:24:13.198
- And i feel like because it's been modeled to them, they are
- 00:24:13.198 --> 00:24:15.734
- Able to then in turn model that to me.
- 00:24:15.734 --> 00:24:18.770
- Blynda: i'm thinking about i talked about my father-in-law
- 00:24:18.770 --> 00:24:21.973
- About how he kind of as the grand patriarch he kind of has
- 00:24:21.973 --> 00:24:24.442
- This, you know, thing to protect our family.
- 00:24:24.442 --> 00:24:27.245
- And so, todd is the oldest of 4 kids, and so when the youngest
- 00:24:27.245 --> 00:24:31.616
- Got married in 2008, he was waiting for the youngest to get
- 00:24:31.616 --> 00:24:35.453
- Married, because what he wanted to do everybody needed to be
- 00:24:35.453 --> 00:24:37.789
- Married, because they needed to know who their partner was.
- 00:24:37.789 --> 00:24:39.791
- So when everybody was married, and everybody had their person,
- 00:24:39.791 --> 00:24:42.994
- We put out a lane family values statement, and i almost
- 00:24:42.994 --> 00:24:48.667
- Brought it.
- 00:24:48.667 --> 00:24:50.001
- Because we all had it framed, because we all had to sign it.
- 00:24:50.001 --> 00:24:51.736
- I mean, it was almost like a contract, and it's framed, and i
- 00:24:51.736 --> 00:24:54.472
- Actually almost brought it and thought can i show that?
- 00:24:54.472 --> 00:24:56.174
- Because it's just--it's so truly like amazing, but we came
- 00:24:56.174 --> 00:24:59.911
- Up as a family of our lane family value statements, we all
- 00:24:59.911 --> 00:25:03.882
- Agreed upon them, we all read them together, and then we all
- 00:25:03.882 --> 00:25:06.651
- Signed on this date, you know we're all--
- 00:25:06.651 --> 00:25:08.687
- Yeah, what it did for us is, you know, when you think about
- 00:25:08.687 --> 00:25:11.856
- Standing up in your--on your wedding day, and you're with a
- 00:25:11.856 --> 00:25:15.360
- Crowd of people, and you're standing before god, but you're
- 00:25:15.360 --> 00:25:18.196
- Also standing before others, and you're making this vow and this
- 00:25:18.196 --> 00:25:21.166
- Commitment before god and others that this is how you will live.
- 00:25:21.166 --> 00:25:25.370
- In the same way, that's what we were all doing as a family,
- 00:25:25.370 --> 00:25:28.840
- We're standing up saying we're committing to living by these
- 00:25:28.840 --> 00:25:32.611
- Values for the rest of our days, and because you're family, and
- 00:25:32.611 --> 00:25:36.247
- You've signed, we're holding you all accountable to that, to the
- 00:25:36.247 --> 00:25:39.684
- Same thing, you know?
- 00:25:39.684 --> 00:25:41.019
- And we all have them hung up in our home, we all, you know, can
- 00:25:41.019 --> 00:25:44.656
- Read them often.
- 00:25:44.656 --> 00:25:45.991
- Our kids have grown up knowing these are the lane family
- 00:25:45.991 --> 00:25:49.427
- Values, this is what--
- 00:25:49.427 --> 00:25:51.129
- And i think those kind of intentional acts from my
- 00:25:51.129 --> 00:25:55.600
- Father-in-law to set in motion generational blessing and to
- 00:25:55.600 --> 00:26:00.839
- Take it seriously, hey, as a family we're committed, we're
- 00:26:00.839 --> 00:26:05.243
- Committed to god and to each other, we're committed to make
- 00:26:05.243 --> 00:26:08.046
- Kingdom impact, we're committed to being married for the rest of
- 00:26:08.046 --> 00:26:11.016
- Our lives, we're committed to being a part of a congregation
- 00:26:11.016 --> 00:26:14.486
- Church of believers.
- 00:26:14.486 --> 00:26:15.854
- I mean, like, these are all part of the statements, and i just
- 00:26:15.854 --> 00:26:18.523
- Think that it's--i don't know if people are armoring up as
- 00:26:18.523 --> 00:26:24.329
- Much as we should in today's world to say the enemy will not
- 00:26:24.329 --> 00:26:28.500
- Have my family, absolutely not.
- 00:26:28.500 --> 00:26:30.301
- He will not have my grandchildren, my great
- 00:26:30.301 --> 00:26:31.770
- Grandchildren, my great great grandchildren, like we're
- 00:26:31.770 --> 00:26:33.805
- Putting a stake in the ground.
- 00:26:33.805 --> 00:26:36.107
- Sheila: paul really talks about that in his letter to the church
- 00:26:36.107 --> 00:26:38.109
- In ephesus, because that spiritual armor chapter, chapter
- 00:26:38.109 --> 00:26:40.912
- 6, where he talks about take the sword of the spirit, which is
- 00:26:40.912 --> 00:26:43.815
- The word of god.
- 00:26:43.815 --> 00:26:45.150
- The word that he uses there for sword isn't like a long sword,
- 00:26:45.150 --> 00:26:47.819
- It's like a dagger, it's short, and the word for word of god is,
- 00:26:47.819 --> 00:26:51.656
- You'll notice when it's word of god in scripture, it's
- 00:26:51.656 --> 00:26:53.758
- Capitalized, this isn't, it's little w, so it's not logos,
- 00:26:53.758 --> 00:26:57.162
- It's not the word, it's rheam, a word, and he's saying find those
- 00:26:57.162 --> 00:27:01.433
- Verses so that when the enemy comes against you, find those
- 00:27:01.433 --> 00:27:04.369
- Verses that you are--you have ready for warfare so that you
- 00:27:04.369 --> 00:27:08.773
- Can stand.
- 00:27:08.773 --> 00:27:10.108
- I mean, i remember barry and i having to do that with our son
- 00:27:10.108 --> 00:27:12.277
- With a girl he was dating at one point that we just knew wasn't
- 00:27:12.277 --> 00:27:16.247
- The right person.
- 00:27:16.247 --> 00:27:18.216
- Not that--i mean she was a lovely person, but we just--it
- 00:27:18.216 --> 00:27:20.485
- Wasn't good, it wasn't right.
- 00:27:20.485 --> 00:27:22.153
- And but that's what i did.
- 00:27:22.153 --> 00:27:23.488
- It was like i took that really seriously, you know?
- 00:27:23.488 --> 00:27:26.691
- To take scriptures and take it, this is a word from god for us
- 00:27:26.691 --> 00:27:30.729
- And for our family, and we will pray over them.
- 00:27:30.729 --> 00:27:33.031
- Because my mum did that for me when i was little.
- 00:27:33.031 --> 00:27:35.567
- After my father's suicide, i walked in my sleep till i was
- 00:27:35.567 --> 00:27:38.436
- Almost 18 years old.
- 00:27:38.436 --> 00:27:40.271
- But once i was asleep in bed at night, my mum would come in, and
- 00:27:40.271 --> 00:27:43.007
- She would lay hands on me.
- 00:27:43.007 --> 00:27:44.709
- And she's a wee baptist woman, but she would come in and lay
- 00:27:44.709 --> 00:27:48.913
- Hands on me and pray, "lord, for this one, this least likely, i
- 00:27:48.913 --> 00:27:52.684
- Offer her to you and ask for your covering and
- 00:27:52.684 --> 00:27:55.186
- Your protection."
- 00:27:55.186 --> 00:27:56.554
- And i often think, gosh, i wonder when i get to heaven,
- 00:27:56.554 --> 00:28:00.658
- What we'll all see of the different prayers that our
- 00:28:00.658 --> 00:28:02.927
- Families prayed and the difference it made and.
- 00:28:02.927 --> 00:28:06.498
- Laurie: i think as men and women of god, we have the
- 00:28:06.498 --> 00:28:09.667
- Responsibility to speak life into our homes and into our
- 00:28:09.667 --> 00:28:13.705
- Families and into our relationships, into those,
- 00:28:13.705 --> 00:28:16.941
- Especially the ones closest to us, your husband, your children,
- 00:28:16.941 --> 00:28:21.412
- Your wife.
- 00:28:21.412 --> 00:28:22.781
- Speak life, speak love, speak.
- 00:28:22.781 --> 00:28:26.584
- It will change the atmosphere of your home in such a
- 00:28:26.584 --> 00:28:30.622
- Dramatic way.
- 00:28:30.622 --> 00:28:31.956
- It might take a few days, but i promise you death and life are
- 00:28:31.956 --> 00:28:36.227
- In the power of the tongue.
- 00:28:36.227 --> 00:28:37.562
- You can have whatever you say.
- 00:28:37.562 --> 00:28:39.564
- If you choose just the negative to talk about all the time or
- 00:28:39.564 --> 00:28:44.636
- The negative things to say over people, you're gonna get that.
- 00:28:44.636 --> 00:28:48.273
- You're gonna get that back.
- 00:28:48.273 --> 00:28:49.808
- But if you choose to speak words of life and love, you're gonna
- 00:28:49.808 --> 00:28:55.613
- Receive that, you're gonna reap from that.
- 00:28:55.613 --> 00:28:57.649
- Those are seeds planted in the ground, the words of your mouth,
- 00:28:57.649 --> 00:29:01.119
- And so i encourage you today that if you don't have anything
- 00:29:01.119 --> 00:29:04.556
- Good to say, you don't have a lovely tone, you don't have--
- 00:29:04.556 --> 00:29:07.725
- You need silence is golden.
- 00:29:07.725 --> 00:29:10.161
- Choose your words wisely, and then speak love and life into
- 00:29:10.161 --> 00:29:13.598
- Your home.
- 00:29:13.598 --> 00:29:15.099
- Rachel: i wanna say, too, i feel like so many times when you're
- 00:29:15.099 --> 00:29:18.503
- Single parenting or you're divorced or something terrible's
- 00:29:18.503 --> 00:29:22.140
- Happened in your family, you don't feel like a
- 00:29:22.140 --> 00:29:24.742
- Family anymore.
- 00:29:24.742 --> 00:29:26.110
- It's a really common thing with the widows.
- 00:29:26.110 --> 00:29:28.313
- And, you know, even for me, it was just me and the kids, i
- 00:29:28.313 --> 00:29:31.883
- Didn't feel like a unit, you know?
- 00:29:31.883 --> 00:29:33.718
- And so i can hear people, it's like i feel the lord's
- 00:29:33.718 --> 00:29:37.188
- Tenderness towards people who are like we're not really a
- 00:29:37.188 --> 00:29:40.325
- Family anymore.
- 00:29:40.325 --> 00:29:41.659
- And i just--i say to you, just declaratively, you are still a
- 00:29:41.659 --> 00:29:46.531
- Family, and you have the choice to move forward as a solo
- 00:29:46.531 --> 00:29:50.702
- Parent, single parent, widow, divorced mom, whatever, and
- 00:29:50.702 --> 00:29:54.672
- Create family values for yourself, even without a husband
- 00:29:54.672 --> 00:29:57.942
- Or without, you know, not feeling whole, because there is
- 00:29:57.942 --> 00:30:01.246
- That tendency to feel like we're less than, we're not that, we're
- 00:30:01.246 --> 00:30:04.249
- Not as spiritual as the lanes or, you know, whatever.
- 00:30:04.249 --> 00:30:07.452
- And that's just the enemy.
- 00:30:07.452 --> 00:30:09.254
- That is the enemy's attack on the family, because he wants you
- 00:30:09.254 --> 00:30:12.490
- To not feel like a family.
- 00:30:12.490 --> 00:30:14.192
- So you just--you're apathetic towards your future and the
- 00:30:14.192 --> 00:30:18.229
- Destiny over your family.
- 00:30:18.229 --> 00:30:19.564
- So i'm so encouraged hearing you.
- 00:30:19.564 --> 00:30:21.432
- I'm like, man, i love having friends like blynda.
- 00:30:21.432 --> 00:30:24.102
- I'm like, i need some family values.
- 00:30:24.102 --> 00:30:26.771
- This is awesome.
- 00:30:26.771 --> 00:30:28.239
- Michelle: well, and i think that the support of a family comes in
- 00:30:28.239 --> 00:30:30.875
- Different forms.
- 00:30:30.875 --> 00:30:32.210
- It's not always your biological family, it's not--
- 00:30:32.210 --> 00:30:35.046
- Rachel: that is so true.
- 00:30:35.046 --> 00:30:36.381
- Laurie: the family of god.
- 00:30:36.381 --> 00:30:37.715
- Michelle: yeah, the family of god is still your family.
- 00:30:37.715 --> 00:30:39.083
- I had wonderful women who spoke into my life during a season
- 00:30:39.083 --> 00:30:42.553
- Where i felt like i was in a desert, and so--but god used
- 00:30:42.553 --> 00:30:46.324
- These other women, because to your point, it can feel shameful
- 00:30:46.324 --> 00:30:50.762
- If women or men or families are facing divorce and things like
- 00:30:50.762 --> 00:30:54.432
- That, where you think, well, we're not good enough, we're not
- 00:30:54.432 --> 00:30:56.935
- The same, and that surely god can't use this life now.
- 00:30:56.935 --> 00:31:00.271
- I mean, it's just a mess, you know?
- 00:31:00.271 --> 00:31:02.440
- And but yet he does, and he brings people into your life if
- 00:31:02.440 --> 00:31:05.710
- You allow them to be there and to give them space for them to,
- 00:31:05.710 --> 00:31:09.580
- You know, lovingly help guide and mentor you and help you to
- 00:31:09.580 --> 00:31:14.185
- Grow into the person that god's called you to be.
- 00:31:14.185 --> 00:31:17.255
- Blynda: i think there's practical things we can do to
- 00:31:17.255 --> 00:31:19.023
- Spur one another on.
- 00:31:19.023 --> 00:31:20.358
- I think, first off, pretty simple, but sometimes we just
- 00:31:20.358 --> 00:31:23.027
- Don't take time to do it, is just give someone an
- 00:31:23.027 --> 00:31:25.196
- Encouraging word.
- 00:31:25.196 --> 00:31:26.564
- I know for me, when somebody has taken time out of their day to
- 00:31:26.564 --> 00:31:29.500
- Send me an encouraging text or to give me a call or to just
- 00:31:29.500 --> 00:31:32.103
- Tell me an encouraging word, it changes my whole perspective on
- 00:31:32.103 --> 00:31:34.939
- The day.
- 00:31:34.939 --> 00:31:36.274
- So, i would say, if you--if the lord puts someone on your heart,
- 00:31:36.274 --> 00:31:39.043
- Send them a text, encourage them.
- 00:31:39.043 --> 00:31:40.945
- It might just be the exact word they need.
- 00:31:40.945 --> 00:31:43.281
- I think also spending time with people.
- 00:31:43.281 --> 00:31:45.383
- I think in a busy world, it's really easy to say i don't have
- 00:31:45.383 --> 00:31:47.852
- Time, i can't do that, but if you can carve out time with
- 00:31:47.852 --> 00:31:51.823
- Someone, it could be the thing that literally spurs them on to
- 00:31:51.823 --> 00:31:55.693
- Keep them going for them to keep pursuing relationship with jesus
- 00:31:55.693 --> 00:31:59.263
- And pursuing relationship with others.
- 00:31:59.263 --> 00:32:01.099
- And then, finally, the best way to spur someone on is to pray
- 00:32:01.099 --> 00:32:04.569
- For them.
- 00:32:04.569 --> 00:32:05.937
- And i just would say find a few people that the lord could put
- 00:32:05.937 --> 00:32:08.373
- On your heart that you consistently pray for and reach
- 00:32:08.373 --> 00:32:11.843
- Out to them asking them how you can pray for them, and i tell
- 00:32:11.843 --> 00:32:14.879
- You that will be one of the greatest ways that continue
- 00:32:14.879 --> 00:32:18.449
- Spurring them on in their walk with christ.
- 00:32:18.449 --> 00:32:22.086
- Michelle: and it's still going to be messy at times.
- 00:32:22.086 --> 00:32:24.055
- You know, with my mom and i, we have a great relationship today,
- 00:32:24.055 --> 00:32:27.692
- But it's not to say that there aren't some days where it goes a
- 00:32:27.692 --> 00:32:30.428
- Little sideways or, you know, you're like, well, i'm not
- 00:32:30.428 --> 00:32:32.930
- Answering her in the text or whatever it might be.
- 00:32:32.930 --> 00:32:35.566
- But i made a decision while i was there on the show, i really
- 00:32:35.566 --> 00:32:39.570
- Had this come to jesus kind of moment.
- 00:32:39.570 --> 00:32:41.606
- I was already a believer, but there was a moment of surrender
- 00:32:41.606 --> 00:32:44.675
- For me on the show, because i did try to leave it, i tried to
- 00:32:44.675 --> 00:32:47.278
- Quit, it became too much, and i really just laid there in the
- 00:32:47.278 --> 00:32:52.283
- Middle of, you know, a tv set type moment and just said, god,
- 00:32:52.283 --> 00:32:57.155
- I don't know what i'm doing here.
- 00:32:57.155 --> 00:32:58.890
- Can you use this environment to change my life?
- 00:32:58.890 --> 00:33:02.593
- I don't know, but i'm tired of fighting.
- 00:33:02.593 --> 00:33:05.530
- I'm tired of fighting against myself, against my mom, against
- 00:33:05.530 --> 00:33:09.267
- All these feelings.
- 00:33:09.267 --> 00:33:10.601
- I'm just tired, and god, i just give you my life, and if you can
- 00:33:10.601 --> 00:33:14.372
- Do anything with it, then do it, and i'll stay here in this crazy
- 00:33:14.372 --> 00:33:19.043
- Little show as long as you want me to, and i'll quit trying to
- 00:33:19.043 --> 00:33:23.114
- Quit it.
- 00:33:23.114 --> 00:33:24.482
- You know, i'll just show up every day, i'll do the work with
- 00:33:24.482 --> 00:33:26.684
- Both my mom and with the trainer, and i will work towards
- 00:33:26.684 --> 00:33:30.822
- Whatever you have for me in my future.
- 00:33:30.822 --> 00:33:33.057
- And god honored that each and every day.
- 00:33:33.057 --> 00:33:34.892
- It was just one foot in front of the other.
- 00:33:34.892 --> 00:33:36.961
- So many of the things we've been talking about this week has been
- 00:33:36.961 --> 00:33:39.363
- About consistency or about building a foundation, and we
- 00:33:39.363 --> 00:33:43.034
- All feel like it has to look a certain way for it to be the
- 00:33:43.034 --> 00:33:46.904
- Will and the plan of god, but it might go a little crazy.
- 00:33:46.904 --> 00:33:50.007
- My life verse is, you know, proverbs 3:5 and 6, trust in the
- 00:33:50.007 --> 00:33:53.678
- Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understandings,
- 00:33:53.678 --> 00:33:56.280
- In all your ways acknowledge him, and he, he makes the
- 00:33:56.280 --> 00:33:59.250
- Path straight.
- 00:33:59.250 --> 00:34:00.585
- I've tried for six years in my little desert season of not
- 00:34:00.585 --> 00:34:04.222
- Speaking to my mother to make my little path straight, and it
- 00:34:04.222 --> 00:34:06.991
- Just kept going crooked.
- 00:34:06.991 --> 00:34:08.359
- It just kept going off afar, because i wanted so badly to fix
- 00:34:08.359 --> 00:34:11.963
- It on my own and to not deal with those things, but i needed,
- 00:34:11.963 --> 00:34:15.800
- You know, this love and the support of my family, which i
- 00:34:15.800 --> 00:34:18.569
- Got in many ways, and i'm grateful for, but i continue
- 00:34:18.569 --> 00:34:23.241
- To--when i deal with the relationship with my mom or with
- 00:34:23.241 --> 00:34:26.811
- Anybody that i have a difficult relationship, is i've decided
- 00:34:26.811 --> 00:34:30.481
- That i trust jesus with my heart more than i trust anyone else.
- 00:34:30.481 --> 00:34:35.253
- And i trust that he has me no matter what.
- 00:34:35.253 --> 00:34:38.723
- And that because i've given my life, and i've surrendered my
- 00:34:38.723 --> 00:34:41.692
- Life to him, that it doesn't matter what happens.
- 00:34:41.692 --> 00:34:44.729
- I can be disappointed, i can be upset, but i cannot ever
- 00:34:44.729 --> 00:34:49.066
- Question his love for me.
- 00:34:49.066 --> 00:34:50.735
- And so with that power, i move forward.
- 00:34:50.735 --> 00:34:52.870
- With that strength, that joy, i move forward in it, and so,
- 00:34:52.870 --> 00:34:57.308
- Whatever your family looks like, however misshapen or, you know,
- 00:34:57.308 --> 00:35:01.312
- Maybe it's a picture-perfect little box, and to that, you
- 00:35:01.312 --> 00:35:04.615
- Know, you are a witness, too, in that.
- 00:35:04.615 --> 00:35:06.584
- That is a testimony to others who need to know that, you know,
- 00:35:06.584 --> 00:35:10.054
- God works in all the ways that he's promised to work, and
- 00:35:10.054 --> 00:35:13.925
- You're not forgotten at whatever stage you're in, you know?
- 00:35:13.925 --> 00:35:18.029
- That god is the author of all of it, and you can just really
- 00:35:18.029 --> 00:35:21.933
- Trust and lean on the support of those that he gives you
- 00:35:21.933 --> 00:35:24.569
- As family.
- 00:35:24.569 --> 00:35:25.870
- [music]
- 00:35:25.870 --> 00:35:32.610
- Rachel: if you do not have family members who are
- 00:35:32.610 --> 00:35:35.813
- Believers, and you feel like totally alone, i would say lean
- 00:35:35.813 --> 00:35:40.318
- Into your community.
- 00:35:40.318 --> 00:35:42.353
- Community is everything.
- 00:35:42.353 --> 00:35:43.721
- Community is healing.
- 00:35:43.721 --> 00:35:45.056
- I believe we need our friends, we need our communities.
- 00:35:45.056 --> 00:35:47.158
- And i would say more than anything else.
- 00:35:47.158 --> 00:35:48.693
- If you're not a part of the local church, get one, find one,
- 00:35:48.693 --> 00:35:52.630
- Do the hard thing.
- 00:35:52.630 --> 00:35:53.965
- Push through your fear, push through your anxiety.
- 00:35:53.965 --> 00:35:55.766
- I promise, at some point you will be so glad when you look
- 00:35:55.766 --> 00:36:00.104
- Back and go, "i did the hard thing.
- 00:36:00.104 --> 00:36:01.973
- I pushed into community, and it made all the difference."
- 00:36:01.973 --> 00:36:06.210
- Announcer: be the first to know all the latest "better
- 00:36:06.210 --> 00:36:08.479
- Together" updates.
- 00:36:08.479 --> 00:36:10.715
- Visit bettertogether.tv to sign up for our weekly emails and
- 00:36:10.715 --> 00:36:14.218
- Never miss the latest news.
- 00:36:14.218 --> 00:36:16.996
- Never miss the latest news.
- 00:36:16.996 --> 00:36:18.122
- [music]
- 00:36:18.356 --> 00:36:24.161
- Blynda: i heard someone say that there's four things that you
- 00:36:24.161 --> 00:36:26.931
- Should always do with your parents, especially if you're
- 00:36:26.931 --> 00:36:30.534
- Like me and my parents, my mom is older.
- 00:36:30.534 --> 00:36:32.570
- There's four things they wanna hear from you every day or
- 00:36:32.570 --> 00:36:34.705
- Whenever you talk.
- 00:36:34.705 --> 00:36:36.040
- They wanna know you're healthy, they wanna know you're happy,
- 00:36:36.040 --> 00:36:38.709
- And then they wanna know that you love them and that you
- 00:36:38.709 --> 00:36:41.212
- Appreciate them.
- 00:36:41.212 --> 00:36:42.580
- If you tell them those things all the time, your relationship
- 00:36:42.580 --> 00:36:44.615
- Will continue to grow.
- 00:36:44.615 --> 00:36:45.983
- I think one thing you could add to that as you're asking those
- 00:36:45.983 --> 00:36:49.053
- Things, and you're telling them i'm happy, mom, i'm healthy.
- 00:36:49.053 --> 00:36:52.390
- I appreciate you, and i love you.
- 00:36:52.390 --> 00:36:53.758
- I think one thing you could add to that is, is there anything in
- 00:36:53.758 --> 00:36:56.260
- Your life that i can pray for?
- 00:36:56.260 --> 00:36:57.962
- How are you doing spiritually?
- 00:36:57.962 --> 00:36:59.463
- Is there anything in your relationship with the lord you
- 00:36:59.463 --> 00:37:01.432
- Wanna talk about?
- 00:37:01.432 --> 00:37:02.800
- This is kind of an interesting role reversal that you would be
- 00:37:02.800 --> 00:37:05.269
- Asking your older parent that, but i think it could be really a
- 00:37:05.269 --> 00:37:08.873
- Sweet way to connect you even more than you already are is to
- 00:37:08.873 --> 00:37:13.711
- See them as someone that is still growing in the lord and to
- 00:37:13.711 --> 00:37:16.981
- Encourage them just like they've encouraged you.
- 00:37:16.981 --> 00:37:20.084
- [music]
- 00:37:20.084 --> 00:37:23.587
- Rachel: i think, too, we're in a loneliness epidemic, and, you
- 00:37:23.587 --> 00:37:28.025
- Know, i heard a statistic this past week that loneliness is the
- 00:37:28.025 --> 00:37:32.163
- Equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
- 00:37:32.163 --> 00:37:35.499
- And i was like, are you serious?
- 00:37:35.499 --> 00:37:37.501
- I mean, that was just so mind-blowing to me, and
- 00:37:37.501 --> 00:37:40.171
- I think--
- 00:37:40.171 --> 00:37:41.539
- Blynda: like the effects on your health?
- 00:37:41.539 --> 00:37:42.873
- Rachel: yeah, the effect on your health of loneliness.
- 00:37:42.873 --> 00:37:44.241
- And so, you know, he sets the lonely in families.
- 00:37:44.241 --> 00:37:46.777
- You mentioned that scripture earlier, and i was just thinking
- 00:37:46.777 --> 00:37:49.046
- About my husband was 45 and single, you know, he was single
- 00:37:49.046 --> 00:37:52.516
- His whole life till he was 45.
- 00:37:52.516 --> 00:37:54.218
- So, and he created a family.
- 00:37:54.218 --> 00:37:56.954
- You know, he created holidays that were meaningful and special
- 00:37:56.954 --> 00:38:01.158
- And invited people who didn't have a place to go.
- 00:38:01.158 --> 00:38:04.061
- And i'm just like, you know, if you don't have it, create it,
- 00:38:04.061 --> 00:38:06.997
- You know?
- 00:38:06.997 --> 00:38:08.366
- I mean, it's such a--because it's so important for the soul.
- 00:38:08.366 --> 00:38:11.235
- It's so important, and i just-- we're more connected than we've
- 00:38:11.235 --> 00:38:16.073
- Ever been, and yet more lonely than we've ever been.
- 00:38:16.073 --> 00:38:19.009
- And so you're just like, what?
- 00:38:19.009 --> 00:38:21.379
- How does that happen?
- 00:38:21.379 --> 00:38:22.713
- That didn't even make sense.
- 00:38:22.713 --> 00:38:24.081
- But yet family is such a good piece of it.
- 00:38:24.081 --> 00:38:25.850
- Michelle: and i think all too often people stay silent, and i
- 00:38:25.850 --> 00:38:29.420
- Think they don't want to say anything.
- 00:38:29.420 --> 00:38:30.855
- They don't wanna, you know, reach out, and i feel like it's
- 00:38:30.855 --> 00:38:34.258
- In the silence that, you know, for those who are depressed,
- 00:38:34.258 --> 00:38:37.661
- That it grows deeper.
- 00:38:37.661 --> 00:38:39.230
- You know, if you're anxious, it gets even more heightened.
- 00:38:39.230 --> 00:38:41.932
- If you're fearful, you get even more scared.
- 00:38:41.932 --> 00:38:43.801
- And the moment that you say the words, the moment that you
- 00:38:43.801 --> 00:38:46.871
- Release them, they become less scary.
- 00:38:46.871 --> 00:38:49.173
- You know, again, my sweet little girls, my ruby, at night, she'll
- 00:38:49.173 --> 00:38:54.211
- Be like, "mom, i'm afraid of this, i'm afraid--"
- 00:38:54.211 --> 00:38:56.180
- I'm like, well, what is it that you're afraid of?
- 00:38:56.180 --> 00:38:57.815
- Say the thing that you're afraid of.
- 00:38:57.815 --> 00:38:59.984
- Because the moment you say it, it no longer can be that scary,
- 00:38:59.984 --> 00:39:03.387
- Because we can talk about it.
- 00:39:03.387 --> 00:39:04.989
- And in families and in relationships, we have that
- 00:39:04.989 --> 00:39:07.658
- Opportunity to share one another's burdens and to say let
- 00:39:07.658 --> 00:39:10.861
- Me share this with you.
- 00:39:10.861 --> 00:39:12.196
- Let me help educate you that there isn't a monster in
- 00:39:12.196 --> 00:39:15.666
- Your closet.
- 00:39:15.666 --> 00:39:17.034
- We can look under the bed together, we can do
- 00:39:17.034 --> 00:39:18.369
- This together.
- 00:39:18.369 --> 00:39:19.703
- And so if you have a friend or somebody who's like a family
- 00:39:19.703 --> 00:39:22.640
- Member to you that you need to lean on for support because your
- 00:39:22.640 --> 00:39:25.910
- Family might be broken, then do it, just say it.
- 00:39:25.910 --> 00:39:28.212
- Sheila: i think that's what paul meant when he wrote in
- 00:39:28.212 --> 00:39:29.680
- Galatians, "bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law
- 00:39:29.680 --> 00:39:32.817
- Of christ," because that greek word there for burden is like a
- 00:39:32.817 --> 00:39:35.920
- Ship's load.
- 00:39:35.920 --> 00:39:37.254
- Because two verses later he says, "but each man must carry
- 00:39:37.254 --> 00:39:39.990
- His own load," and i'm like, well, hang on a minute.
- 00:39:39.990 --> 00:39:42.593
- But they're two totally different words.
- 00:39:42.593 --> 00:39:44.595
- It's like you walk through situations where it's just too
- 00:39:44.595 --> 00:39:46.864
- Much, you know, and we're not supposed to do life by
- 00:39:46.864 --> 00:39:49.066
- Ourselves, that we need someone you can reach out to and say i'm
- 00:39:49.066 --> 00:39:51.702
- Not doing so great, would you pray for me here?
- 00:39:51.702 --> 00:39:54.472
- And i mean, we all still carry our own stuff, but there's times
- 00:39:54.472 --> 00:39:58.242
- When it's just too much.
- 00:39:58.242 --> 00:40:01.045
- Michelle: god has placed such a high importance on family, and
- 00:40:01.045 --> 00:40:04.014
- It's because this life is hard.
- 00:40:04.014 --> 00:40:06.383
- The things that we go through are difficult, and it's
- 00:40:06.383 --> 00:40:09.053
- Difficult to go through on our own.
- 00:40:09.053 --> 00:40:11.188
- You know, we can't just carry all these burdens by ourselves.
- 00:40:11.188 --> 00:40:16.026
- We're meant to share the load with each other.
- 00:40:16.026 --> 00:40:18.662
- And so god placing such a high importance on our family unit is
- 00:40:18.662 --> 00:40:23.033
- Really just evidence of that.
- 00:40:23.033 --> 00:40:24.401
- And so, you might be facing a hardship, and you're not sure
- 00:40:24.401 --> 00:40:27.538
- Which way to turn.
- 00:40:27.538 --> 00:40:28.906
- Turn to a family member.
- 00:40:28.906 --> 00:40:30.274
- And if you don't have a family member, turn to, like, a member
- 00:40:30.274 --> 00:40:32.543
- Of the family of god.
- 00:40:32.543 --> 00:40:34.044
- That is who we're meant to share our burdens with.
- 00:40:34.044 --> 00:40:37.181
- Sheila: plus, there's something, it does something in you when
- 00:40:37.181 --> 00:40:39.316
- You make yourself vulnerable to say--because before my life
- 00:40:39.316 --> 00:40:43.554
- Crashed when i was 34, if you needed anything, i would get it
- 00:40:43.554 --> 00:40:47.925
- For you 10 minutes ago.
- 00:40:47.925 --> 00:40:49.293
- I mean, but i would have the hardest time in the world asking
- 00:40:49.293 --> 00:40:52.997
- For anything for myself, because i wanted to be useful so that
- 00:40:52.997 --> 00:40:56.100
- God wouldn't stop loving me.
- 00:40:56.100 --> 00:40:57.968
- And when my life kind of crashed, i realized that i'd
- 00:40:57.968 --> 00:41:00.571
- Joined those who, as my friend brennan manning said, whose
- 00:41:00.571 --> 00:41:04.074
- Cheese kept falling off their crackers, you know, people who
- 00:41:04.074 --> 00:41:07.545
- Loved god and didn't have all the answers, but the truth is
- 00:41:07.545 --> 00:41:09.847
- That's all of us.
- 00:41:09.847 --> 00:41:11.482
- And some of us look more like we've got it all together, but
- 00:41:11.482 --> 00:41:13.951
- We're all on this journey home.
- 00:41:13.951 --> 00:41:16.120
- And christ has promised that he will never leave us.
- 00:41:16.120 --> 00:41:19.189
- I love in hebrews where it says--if you look at the actual
- 00:41:19.189 --> 00:41:22.159
- Language, never will i leave you.
- 00:41:22.159 --> 00:41:23.928
- No, seriously, i mean it, not never, i mean <it's> like five
- 00:41:23.928 --> 00:41:27.498
- Negatives, you know?
- 00:41:27.498 --> 00:41:30.000
- Do you get it, do you get it?
- 00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:31.335
- I will never, ever, ever leave you.
- 00:41:31.335 --> 00:41:33.871
- Blynda: i think it's really important to create spaces of
- 00:41:33.871 --> 00:41:36.206
- Vulnerability for people in your family or in circles of
- 00:41:36.206 --> 00:41:40.344
- Relationship that you have, because i think it's really hard
- 00:41:40.344 --> 00:41:43.514
- For people to share their hurting or broken hearts, but i
- 00:41:43.514 --> 00:41:46.650
- Think it's so important that we create kind of a no judgment
- 00:41:46.650 --> 00:41:50.220
- Zone with this safety net of grace that they can fall into.
- 00:41:50.220 --> 00:41:54.224
- I think so often people feel like they have to put on a mask
- 00:41:54.224 --> 00:41:58.562
- Of perfection, and if we can be a safe place to land for people,
- 00:41:58.562 --> 00:42:02.933
- We'll find that we'll be around people more often that can open
- 00:42:02.933 --> 00:42:06.403
- Up and share their vulnerable parts of their heart because
- 00:42:06.403 --> 00:42:10.140
- They know that with us there's love, there's grace, there's
- 00:42:10.140 --> 00:42:13.844
- Kindness, and there's patience, and i think that's what god asks
- 00:42:13.844 --> 00:42:16.380
- Of us.
- 00:42:16.380 --> 00:42:17.715
- Blynda: but i love the idea that we're even expanding the family
- 00:42:17.715 --> 00:42:21.952
- Term to the people of god, because, like my sister,
- 00:42:21.952 --> 00:42:26.790
- Sometimes even we may have a great family but proximity keeps
- 00:42:26.790 --> 00:42:29.760
- You from being able to actually meet felt needs, like
- 00:42:29.760 --> 00:42:32.529
- Real needs.
- 00:42:32.529 --> 00:42:33.864
- And so my sister, when my sister's husband was diagnosed 2
- 00:42:33.864 --> 00:42:36.767
- Years ago with stage 4 colorectal cancer, they live in
- 00:42:36.767 --> 00:42:39.570
- Frisco, which isn't, you may not know dallas, texas if you're
- 00:42:39.570 --> 00:42:42.640
- Listening, but it's not that far away, but it'd be really hard
- 00:42:42.640 --> 00:42:46.610
- For me to be there all the time for my sister, and my sister was
- 00:42:46.610 --> 00:42:50.114
- Really connected in her church, and so she comes home from the
- 00:42:50.114 --> 00:42:55.352
- Hospital with her husband who now has an ostomy, has been
- 00:42:55.352 --> 00:42:58.489
- Given a year to live.
- 00:42:58.489 --> 00:42:59.823
- I mean, it's been a traumatic, terrible experience, and
- 00:42:59.823 --> 00:43:02.726
- Thankfully he's on year--he's like 2 1/2 years in when he was
- 00:43:02.726 --> 00:43:06.196
- Given less than a year to live, so the lord's doing an
- 00:43:06.196 --> 00:43:08.165
- Amazing work.
- 00:43:08.165 --> 00:43:09.500
- Thank you jesus.
- 00:43:09.500 --> 00:43:10.868
- But for her, they came home from the hospital, and her friends
- 00:43:10.868 --> 00:43:14.905
- Who had already been around her at the hospital, you know, he's
- 00:43:14.905 --> 00:43:17.908
- In surgery, he's recovering but she's in the waiting room, and
- 00:43:17.908 --> 00:43:20.444
- So it was a revolving door, you know, we were all there with
- 00:43:20.444 --> 00:43:23.047
- Her, but her friends never left her side either, and they're all
- 00:43:23.047 --> 00:43:26.417
- Asking me, you know, how can we help?
- 00:43:26.417 --> 00:43:27.918
- What can we do?
- 00:43:27.918 --> 00:43:29.253
- She gets home, and you know, she's--you know, her life's
- 00:43:29.253 --> 00:43:33.090
- Kind of upside down, so probably when they left the house and had
- 00:43:33.090 --> 00:43:36.860
- The emergency at the hospital, you know, her house wasn't
- 00:43:36.860 --> 00:43:38.696
- Clean, and you know, things weren't--and so the idea of
- 00:43:38.696 --> 00:43:41.765
- People coming in and kind of seeing that moment, it was like
- 00:43:41.765 --> 00:43:46.170
- No way, she never would have.
- 00:43:46.170 --> 00:43:47.771
- But in that desperate moment, it was, okay, i'll kind of receive
- 00:43:47.771 --> 00:43:51.008
- Any help i can.
- 00:43:51.008 --> 00:43:52.476
- In a normal moment, she wouldn't have.
- 00:43:52.476 --> 00:43:54.211
- And she comes home to a refrigerator stocked full of
- 00:43:54.211 --> 00:43:59.950
- Groceries, a pantry stocked full of groceries, laundry done, like
- 00:43:59.950 --> 00:44:04.788
- Her friends had come in and just rallied and set them up, put
- 00:44:04.788 --> 00:44:08.959
- Them on a meal train.
- 00:44:08.959 --> 00:44:10.327
- I mean it was just--and i watched just the hands and feet
- 00:44:10.327 --> 00:44:13.163
- Of jesus happen right there.
- 00:44:13.163 --> 00:44:15.099
- And of course, as family, we're meeting all the needs we can,
- 00:44:15.099 --> 00:44:18.068
- We're carrying it, though, also, because he's our brother.
- 00:44:18.068 --> 00:44:20.237
- I mean, this is our family, so we're devastated as well.
- 00:44:20.237 --> 00:44:24.007
- And it's we actually needed the family of god to come in and
- 00:44:24.007 --> 00:44:28.112
- Hold our arms up a little.
- 00:44:28.112 --> 00:44:29.480
- So sometimes it may be that you don't recognize that god is
- 00:44:29.480 --> 00:44:35.052
- Needing you to step up, to go arm in arm with somebody.
- 00:44:35.052 --> 00:44:39.256
- Like you meeting these needs of the widows, like there's
- 00:44:39.256 --> 00:44:42.493
- Somebody who's thinking i don't know that i have any value, what
- 00:44:42.493 --> 00:44:47.464
- Can i offer?
- 00:44:47.464 --> 00:44:48.932
- You, you can do something.
- 00:44:48.932 --> 00:44:50.834
- Laurie: and normally it's what you need.
- 00:44:50.834 --> 00:44:52.402
- Blynda: yes, very often.
- 00:44:52.402 --> 00:44:53.771
- Laurie: a lot of times when, you know, if you need a friend, you
- 00:44:53.771 --> 00:44:56.707
- Need to be a friend, you know, step out and do something if
- 00:44:56.707 --> 00:45:00.110
- You're needing something.
- 00:45:00.110 --> 00:45:01.478
- The bible says give, and it shall be given and a lot of
- 00:45:01.478 --> 00:45:04.882
- Times we think that's about money.
- 00:45:04.882 --> 00:45:07.084
- But that's about kind of everything, everything.
- 00:45:07.084 --> 00:45:10.554
- If you need friendship, show yourself friendly.
- 00:45:10.554 --> 00:45:13.290
- You know, if you need some love, show some love to people, grace,
- 00:45:13.290 --> 00:45:18.362
- Give grace away.
- 00:45:18.362 --> 00:45:19.696
- Blynda: because there's no shortage of needs.
- 00:45:19.696 --> 00:45:21.064
- Laurie: no, no, and sometimes we're the answer to our
- 00:45:21.064 --> 00:45:23.667
- Own prayer.
- 00:45:23.667 --> 00:45:25.502
- If god sends someone, and then all of a sudden you realize
- 00:45:25.502 --> 00:45:28.372
- That's fulfilled in your life somehow, you just think, man,
- 00:45:28.372 --> 00:45:31.375
- That just took that step of obedience and that faithfulness.
- 00:45:31.375 --> 00:45:35.512
- If we stay faithful, that's who god is, but sometimes our
- 00:45:35.512 --> 00:45:40.350
- Obedience is just taking that next faithful step of what i
- 00:45:40.350 --> 00:45:44.822
- Know to do right, you know?
- 00:45:44.822 --> 00:45:47.658
- And to reach out to others and be mercy and be grace and be the
- 00:45:47.658 --> 00:45:54.031
- Answer to somebody else's prayer.
- 00:45:54.031 --> 00:45:56.333
- Sheila: that's the whole theme of our show, isn't it?
- 00:45:56.333 --> 00:45:58.602
- Better together.
- 00:45:58.602 --> 00:45:59.937
- Laurie: pretty much.
- 00:45:59.937 --> 00:46:01.305
- Sheila: that's why i love that jan put that vision in your
- 00:46:01.305 --> 00:46:04.842
- Heart, that call in your heart, and that matt saw a vision of
- 00:46:04.842 --> 00:46:08.579
- What this should be.
- 00:46:08.579 --> 00:46:09.947
- And, like, the thing i love is like we've got sisters in south
- 00:46:09.947 --> 00:46:13.283
- Africa who never miss the show.
- 00:46:13.283 --> 00:46:15.519
- First time i was there, we were like, oh, we know you, we see
- 00:46:15.519 --> 00:46:17.621
- "better together," and it's just--that's a beautiful thing
- 00:46:17.621 --> 00:46:21.558
- That we get to share our lives together with sisters all over
- 00:46:21.558 --> 00:46:24.027
- The world.
- 00:46:24.027 --> 00:46:25.762
- Rachel: i will say that my family, they didn't move in with
- 00:46:25.762 --> 00:46:31.368
- Me, but they would have had i needed them to, but i really
- 00:46:31.368 --> 00:46:35.806
- Experienced the love of god through my family's support
- 00:46:35.806 --> 00:46:38.542
- After my husband died.
- 00:46:38.542 --> 00:46:39.910
- My mom providentially had just retired from teaching after
- 00:46:39.910 --> 00:46:43.380
- 34 years.
- 00:46:43.380 --> 00:46:45.549
- She was retiring one month after my husband passed away.
- 00:46:45.549 --> 00:46:48.252
- And so i just saw the lord providing ways of support for me
- 00:46:48.252 --> 00:46:54.191
- And my children, because i was completely overwhelmed with a
- 00:46:54.191 --> 00:46:57.094
- Baby and a two year old, and my parents were there anytime i
- 00:46:57.094 --> 00:47:01.665
- Needed them and providing, you know, not only physical support
- 00:47:01.665 --> 00:47:06.169
- In the home, but my mom would do the hard things when she
- 00:47:06.169 --> 00:47:08.705
- Was there.
- 00:47:08.705 --> 00:47:10.040
- She would wash the clothes, she'd clean the house, she would
- 00:47:10.040 --> 00:47:12.342
- Physically work so that i could just be with my kids.
- 00:47:12.342 --> 00:47:16.313
- And i'm still, to this day, so grateful for that.
- 00:47:16.313 --> 00:47:20.450
- Michelle: well, and i think, you know, god's designed us this
- 00:47:20.450 --> 00:47:22.653
- Way, that he's designed us to need each other, that, you know,
- 00:47:22.653 --> 00:47:26.223
- Because we're not meant to do it on our own, that, you know, i
- 00:47:26.223 --> 00:47:29.226
- Think oftentimes people say, oh, well, you know, so-and-so's
- 00:47:29.226 --> 00:47:32.863
- Busy, or it's like just reach out.
- 00:47:32.863 --> 00:47:36.099
- If someone--if god puts someone on your heart, send them a quick
- 00:47:36.099 --> 00:47:39.169
- Text, send them a, you know, a quick little i'm thinking of
- 00:47:39.169 --> 00:47:41.872
- You, and i promise you it will make their day, because, you
- 00:47:41.872 --> 00:47:45.208
- Know, we're all, to your point, we're lonelier than we've ever
- 00:47:45.208 --> 00:47:48.045
- Been and yet more connected.
- 00:47:48.045 --> 00:47:49.579
- And so, you know, i think if you get those moments, a little--if
- 00:47:49.579 --> 00:47:54.084
- Someone's name pops up, if you aren't sure if you're hearing
- 00:47:54.084 --> 00:47:56.453
- From the lord, that's a good time to, like, send them a text
- 00:47:56.453 --> 00:47:58.889
- And be like i don't know what you got going on, but i just
- 00:47:58.889 --> 00:48:01.325
- Want to know that, you know, i love you, and i'm praying for
- 00:48:01.325 --> 00:48:03.193
- You today.
- 00:48:03.193 --> 00:48:04.561
- And i think, you know, it goes a long way in showing support
- 00:48:04.561 --> 00:48:07.597
- However you can, when you can.
- 00:48:07.597 --> 00:48:09.399
- You know, it's not always, you know, sometimes it's really big,
- 00:48:09.399 --> 00:48:12.536
- And it's, you know, a whole house, and it's a whole team
- 00:48:12.536 --> 00:48:14.905
- Rallying, but sometimes it is just a quick text.
- 00:48:14.905 --> 00:48:17.441
- It is just something to let people know that, you know, we
- 00:48:17.441 --> 00:48:20.844
- See you.
- 00:48:20.844 --> 00:48:22.179
- We see you right where you are.
- 00:48:22.179 --> 00:48:23.513
- Sheila: yeah, that's beautiful.
- 00:48:23.513 --> 00:48:25.115
- Blynda: i've gotten into the habit where, you know, i hate to
- 00:48:25.115 --> 00:48:28.352
- Admit this, but there had been times when we would be--todd
- 00:48:28.352 --> 00:48:31.555
- Would be talking to friends, and it would be, you know, hey, i'll
- 00:48:31.555 --> 00:48:34.157
- Pray for you, i'll pray for you, and then i would realize, oh
- 00:48:34.157 --> 00:48:37.027
- Wait, i forgot to pray, and so i would--i've gotten now where i
- 00:48:37.027 --> 00:48:40.263
- Will just put the prayer in text, you know, and i will send
- 00:48:40.263 --> 00:48:43.700
- It right then and say, you know?
- 00:48:43.700 --> 00:48:46.069
- So just a practical way, as we're ending and going
- 00:48:46.069 --> 00:48:48.472
- Into prayer.
- 00:48:48.472 --> 00:48:49.806
- You know, when you say you're gonna pray for someone, just do
- 00:48:49.806 --> 00:48:51.408
- It right then.
- 00:48:51.408 --> 00:48:53.176
- Michelle: that's a good word.
- 00:48:53.176 --> 00:48:54.511
- All right, well, if i could, i'm gonna pray for us and for
- 00:48:54.511 --> 00:48:57.681
- Everyone else watching.
- 00:48:57.681 --> 00:48:59.049
- Lord, we just thank you for this time.
- 00:48:59.049 --> 00:49:01.051
- We just thank you for the opportunity to come together,
- 00:49:01.051 --> 00:49:03.854
- Lord, and just to share our hearts and to share what it is
- 00:49:03.854 --> 00:49:06.957
- We're going through and how you have made an impact on
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- Our lives.
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- God, the families that are represented here and those that
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- Are watching online, god, i just ask that you would be present
- 00:49:14.231 --> 00:49:17.768
- For them, that they would feel your presence wherever they are.
- 00:49:17.768 --> 00:49:22.005
- God, you know every need that they have, and i just ask that
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- You would bring it to them as they need it.
- 00:49:24.908 --> 00:49:27.944
- Father, through friends, through family, through the body of
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- Christ, lord, help each and every person who is on the other
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- Side get to where you need them to be, father.
- 00:49:34.718 --> 00:49:38.021
- We just are so grateful for our families that we do have, and
- 00:49:38.021 --> 00:49:42.392
- Help us to show love, help us to be the hands and feet of jesus
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- To our family each and every day, lord.
- 00:49:46.430 --> 00:49:48.865
- It's such a gift to be able to impact those around us and the
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- Next generation, father.
- 00:49:52.636 --> 00:49:54.838
- Help us to be a witness wherever we go.
- 00:49:54.838 --> 00:49:56.740
- And it's in your name we pray, amen.
- 00:49:56.740 --> 00:50:01.478
- Announcer: connect with us on social media and let us know how
- 00:50:01.478 --> 00:50:03.914
- Our team can pray for you.
- 00:50:03.914 --> 00:50:07.350
- Laurie: i think with our children, we can remind them who
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- They are in christ.
- 00:50:10.520 --> 00:50:11.855
- They're not grandkids to god, they are children of god, and
- 00:50:11.855 --> 00:50:16.093
- Jesus paid the price for them, and every season of their life
- 00:50:16.093 --> 00:50:19.596
- They can come out victorious that god is with them, god is
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- For them, god is there to be the peace in the storm.
- 00:50:23.066 --> 00:50:28.839
- He's there to still their troubled little minds, to keep
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- Them at peace that passes all understanding.
- 00:50:33.009 --> 00:50:35.345
- It's theirs because jesus paid for it at the cross, and he did
- 00:50:35.345 --> 00:50:39.382
- It for them.
- 00:50:39.382 --> 00:50:41.685
- Announcer: be the first to know all the latest "better
- 00:50:41.685 --> 00:50:43.954
- Together" updates.
- 00:50:43.954 --> 00:50:46.189
- Visit bettertogether.tv to sign up for our weekly emails and
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- Never miss the latest news.
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- [music]
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