How Family Supports You | Better Together Episode 1140

January 30, 2026 | S8 E1140 | 50:59

No one is meant to walk alone! God demonstrates His care for us through family and community. When our biological family isn’t present--or relationships are rocky--God brings others alongside us to help us remember that we belong to His family. | TBN Prayer Line: 714-731-1000

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Better Together | How Family Supports You | Better Together Episode 1140 | January 30, 2026
  • Laurie crouch: you were not created to walk through this
  • 00:00:01.514 --> 00:00:03.683
  • Life alone.
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  • God promises to set the lonely in families.
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  • He knows how much we need each other to grow and to thrive.
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  • Come on, join us.
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  • [music]
  • 00:00:13.326 --> 00:00:40.653
  • Michelle aguilar: i can tell you about the support that i've
  • 00:00:23.336 --> 00:00:43.089
  • Received from my family, but it may not have as much of an
  • 00:00:43.089 --> 00:00:46.292
  • Impact if you don't know why.
  • 00:00:46.292 --> 00:00:48.928
  • So, for me, i can remember as a kid, the only thing that i
  • 00:00:48.928 --> 00:00:52.966
  • Wanted to be when i grew up was a mom.
  • 00:00:52.966 --> 00:00:55.235
  • Like, i thought i just want to be a mom, and not just, you
  • 00:00:55.235 --> 00:00:58.204
  • Know, because i had a baby doll or whatever.
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  • I really wanted my own little family.
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  • I wanted to, you know, be a soccer mom and, you know, have
  • 00:01:01.407 --> 00:01:04.210
  • My little white picket fence moment.
  • 00:01:04.210 --> 00:01:06.446
  • I wanted it all, and the second oldest of five kids, and the
  • 00:01:06.446 --> 00:01:10.683
  • Oldest daughter, so pretty much, motherhood is like you're in an
  • 00:01:10.683 --> 00:01:14.187
  • Internship program starting at like the age of five, you know?
  • 00:01:14.187 --> 00:01:17.090
  • It's like another kid's coming, so you've got to help out,
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  • You've got to, you know, do something to kind of help the
  • 00:01:19.759 --> 00:01:22.562
  • Family along in a very mothering kind of role, and i very much
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  • Had become that in my family and loved it.
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  • I loved all of those things.
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  • And all of that was great.
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  • I was raised in a christian home, and, you know, very
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  • Loving family.
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  • And like i said, lots of kids, so a big family.
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  • And for me, things changed when i was 18.
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  • I was still living at home, and my parents were going through
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  • Some things that i hadn't realized that they were really
  • 00:01:47.020 --> 00:01:49.389
  • Going through, because i got a call from my mother while i was
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  • At work, i'd started a new job, and she basically--i don't even
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  • Know that we had cell phones, so i think it was just a
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  • Desk phone.
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  • And she was like, "hey, i just need to let you know that when
  • 00:02:01.701 --> 00:02:04.504
  • You get home today, i won't be there."
  • 00:02:04.504 --> 00:02:07.173
  • And i thought, well, okay, sure.
  • 00:02:07.173 --> 00:02:09.175
  • You know, where will you be, you know?
  • 00:02:09.175 --> 00:02:11.211
  • And, she's like, "no, i don't think you understand.
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  • I'm leaving your father."
  • 00:02:14.314 --> 00:02:16.716
  • And i thought, wow.
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  • Like, this is a christian home.
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  • Like, you've raised me a certain way, and this doesn't
  • 00:02:21.888 --> 00:02:24.991
  • Sound right.
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  • What do you mean you're leaving?
  • 00:02:26.359 --> 00:02:27.694
  • Like you're leaving him, you guys are divorcing, this is
  • 00:02:27.694 --> 00:02:30.763
  • A lot.
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  • And, you know, i had this, like i said, i had this dream of
  • 00:02:32.398 --> 00:02:35.268
  • Becoming a mom and, you know, being a parent, and it's like
  • 00:02:35.268 --> 00:02:38.805
  • You see a kid standing holding a balloon and that balloon is like
  • 00:02:38.805 --> 00:02:41.874
  • Your hope and your dream, right?
  • 00:02:41.874 --> 00:02:43.843
  • And as she's saying that, you know, i could kind of feel and
  • 00:02:43.843 --> 00:02:46.246
  • Sense my grip loosening on this dream that i had.
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  • But she didn't stop there.
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  • There was more to share.
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  • And, she said, you know, "i also need to let you know that i'm
  • 00:02:55.021 --> 00:02:59.726
  • Going to be taking your two sisters with me, they're
  • 00:02:59.726 --> 00:03:02.629
  • Younger, and they need me, you know, so i'm gonna take them."
  • 00:03:02.629 --> 00:03:10.236
  • And it was in that moment that you let go.
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  • That dream that i thought i don't want to be a mom.
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  • I don't want to do this to another person, because what i
  • 00:03:20.980 --> 00:03:26.686
  • Began to believe about myself in that moment was that i wasn't
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  • Worth fighting for, that there was something about me that was
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  • Not good enough for her.
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  • And that's a hard thing.
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  • You know, you're like, as a kid, you're 18, you think i still
  • 00:03:40.066 --> 00:03:43.369
  • Need a mom, i still want my mom, i still need that relationship,
  • 00:03:43.369 --> 00:03:47.140
  • But that was her decision.
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  • And she and my dad, they struggled to try to reconcile
  • 00:03:49.175 --> 00:03:53.446
  • For a minute, and they--it didn't really work out, and they
  • 00:03:53.446 --> 00:03:55.982
  • Would ultimately end up divorcing, and it shattered
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  • My world.
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  • And when my parents decided to divorce, i spent the next six
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  • Years not speaking one word to my mother, completely gone.
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  • And every single day of those six years, i still needed my
  • 00:04:10.196 --> 00:04:16.169
  • Mom, i still wanted my mom, and there was just no relationship
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  • That i could have at that time, and so it was very difficult
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  • For me.
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  • Laurie: i think everybody's had the opportunity to let hope go
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  • And say, laurie, man, that ship sailed for me a long time ago.
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  • I have no hope of seeing my family restored.
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  • I want to encourage you to keep on praying, keep on believing.
  • 00:04:40.026 --> 00:04:45.698
  • The bible says to not be weary in well doing.
  • 00:04:45.698 --> 00:04:49.135
  • You stay faithful, trusting god for your family.
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  • You might not be here to see it.
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  • You might go on to be with the lord and be looking down from
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  • Heaven and watch your prayers being answered down here.
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  • God will send someone your way.
  • 00:05:01.080 --> 00:05:03.449
  • God will send your son or your daughter, that relationship, god
  • 00:05:03.449 --> 00:05:08.554
  • Will--god has an answer for you, and it might not be the way
  • 00:05:08.554 --> 00:05:12.925
  • We thought, but god will perfectly answer your prayers in
  • 00:05:12.925 --> 00:05:17.196
  • His time, in his season, in his way, and that's the best thing
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  • That we have.
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  • God is with us.
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  • That means we have hope, we have joy, we have peace, and all we
  • 00:05:24.604 --> 00:05:30.443
  • Need to do is open our arms to god and say, god, i receive
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  • All that.
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  • It's a free gift for us.
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  • It's all there for us.
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  • We just need to lean in and receive it from god, our
  • 00:05:40.720 --> 00:05:44.357
  • Beautiful heavenly father.
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  • Michelle: but that's not where my story ends.
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  • It's a very difficult part of my story, for sure, but that's not
  • 00:05:49.729 --> 00:05:53.566
  • Where it ends.
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  • In a way that only god could, he orchestrated it to where my mom
  • 00:05:54.901 --> 00:05:58.738
  • And i would reconnect, and we would begin to have small
  • 00:05:58.738 --> 00:06:03.009
  • Conversations, new conversations, but we would
  • 00:06:03.009 --> 00:06:05.278
  • Ultimately find ourselves smack in the middle of a reality
  • 00:06:05.278 --> 00:06:08.981
  • Tv show.
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  • And i know, super-unconventional.
  • 00:06:10.316 --> 00:06:11.918
  • Most people don't get thrown into a reality tv show with
  • 00:06:11.918 --> 00:06:16.189
  • Their parents.
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  • And so this was a family edition, and the mindset going
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  • Into that show was, oh, you know, we'll be fine, we'll make
  • 00:06:21.794 --> 00:06:24.964
  • New friends.
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  • I don't have to spend all my time with my mother.
  • 00:06:26.299 --> 00:06:27.767
  • The healing was still coming slowly.
  • 00:06:27.767 --> 00:06:31.170
  • But again, it was so interesting in that this was a family
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  • Edition, and when they announced it, i had a complete moment of
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  • Just shock, because i thought everyone here, it was husbands
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  • And wives against parents and children as far as the
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  • Teams went.
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  • Sheila walsh: and in case anybody missed it, this was "the
  • 00:06:48.554 --> 00:06:50.189
  • Biggest loser."
  • 00:06:50.189 --> 00:06:51.524
  • Michelle: this is "the biggest loser," that's right, reality
  • 00:06:51.524 --> 00:06:53.226
  • Weight loss competition show.
  • 00:06:53.226 --> 00:06:54.594
  • So my mom and i had the same struggle, which was needing and
  • 00:06:54.594 --> 00:06:57.463
  • Wanting to lose weight, to be healthier, to live healthier
  • 00:06:57.463 --> 00:07:00.199
  • Lives, and so we thought as we rebuild our relationship, we
  • 00:07:00.199 --> 00:07:03.469
  • Could rebuild our lives and our physical bodies too.
  • 00:07:03.469 --> 00:07:07.440
  • But it was, you know, very difficult to hear that, oh,
  • 00:07:07.440 --> 00:07:11.077
  • Gosh, everybody else here has their love and their support and
  • 00:07:11.077 --> 00:07:14.247
  • Somebody that they care very deeply about.
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  • And i remember looking over to my right and seeing my mom and
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  • Just thinking what have i done?
  • 00:07:20.353 --> 00:07:22.388
  • What have i done?
  • 00:07:22.388 --> 00:07:23.990
  • I don't know if i can fully trust my mom.
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  • I don't know if i can fully rely on her, because she left me.
  • 00:07:26.292 --> 00:07:32.932
  • There were some very difficult days in there, but when i tell
  • 00:07:32.932 --> 00:07:36.335
  • You that to be thrown into a reality tv show where you're cut
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  • Off from the outside world, and really all you have time to do
  • 00:07:39.505 --> 00:07:43.876
  • Is to work on a relationship was such a gift from the lord.
  • 00:07:43.876 --> 00:07:48.047
  • Yes, there were cameras, and there were microphones, and
  • 00:07:48.047 --> 00:07:51.050
  • There were all the things that come with the television
  • 00:07:51.050 --> 00:07:53.185
  • Production, but what was happening underneath and during
  • 00:07:53.185 --> 00:07:56.455
  • This time was the opportunity to see my mom in a different way,
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  • To have to be an encouragement to her in ways that i didn't
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  • Know if i was capable of.
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  • And i had to learn to love and support her in the place that
  • 00:08:08.701 --> 00:08:12.405
  • She was at.
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  • And we had this new foundation that we could grow on, that, you
  • 00:08:13.773 --> 00:08:18.311
  • Know, we were in an unfamiliar space, we were in an unfamiliar
  • 00:08:18.311 --> 00:08:21.681
  • Place, and so this place held no memories.
  • 00:08:21.681 --> 00:08:23.749
  • It had no, you know, baggage coming into it other than what
  • 00:08:23.749 --> 00:08:26.819
  • We brought with it, but we were in a new place, creating
  • 00:08:26.819 --> 00:08:29.355
  • New memories.
  • 00:08:29.355 --> 00:08:30.856
  • And i watched as my mom was supporting me in all these
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  • Different little, small ways, these tiny little steps in the
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  • Right direction.
  • 00:08:39.198 --> 00:08:40.600
  • And that has made such an impact on me and the person i am today.
  • 00:08:40.600 --> 00:08:44.804
  • That's now been, gosh, almost 18 years ago that that happened.
  • 00:08:44.804 --> 00:08:50.109
  • And i've watched as the lord has continued to build on that
  • 00:08:50.109 --> 00:08:53.579
  • Foundation, and the need for family and the need for support
  • 00:08:53.579 --> 00:08:58.117
  • Has impacted and changed the way that i love and support my
  • 00:08:58.117 --> 00:09:02.788
  • Children, because that desire was put on my heart from a very
  • 00:09:02.788 --> 00:09:06.592
  • Young age, and while it felt as though the little hope and the
  • 00:09:06.592 --> 00:09:10.296
  • Dream floated away, as i began to repair that relationship with
  • 00:09:10.296 --> 00:09:14.767
  • My mother, it's as though the balloon came back down, and it
  • 00:09:14.767 --> 00:09:18.971
  • Became within grasp, and i began to see that, you know, we are
  • 00:09:18.971 --> 00:09:22.875
  • All going to struggle through different things in our lives.
  • 00:09:22.875 --> 00:09:27.279
  • And i'm not sitting here today as someone saying i'm a victim
  • 00:09:27.279 --> 00:09:30.549
  • Of some circumstance, but know that god knew every little thing
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  • That was going to happen.
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  • This isn't a plan b life that i'm living.
  • 00:09:35.321 --> 00:09:37.823
  • God didn't hear me get that phone call and go, "wow, i'm
  • 00:09:37.823 --> 00:09:40.292
  • Going to have to figure out how i'm going to just get michelle
  • 00:09:40.292 --> 00:09:43.529
  • Out of this one."
  • 00:09:43.529 --> 00:09:44.964
  • But it was really--god still knew that these things were
  • 00:09:44.964 --> 00:09:48.401
  • Going to happen, and he still orchestrated them anyways.
  • 00:09:48.401 --> 00:09:51.971
  • And as a believer, to also think that god orchestrated this for
  • 00:09:51.971 --> 00:09:56.976
  • My good, and now i see that it's not just me but for my children,
  • 00:09:56.976 --> 00:10:06.085
  • That they get a different mom.
  • 00:10:06.085 --> 00:10:07.887
  • If i would have never had any hardship, if i had never
  • 00:10:07.887 --> 00:10:11.090
  • Experienced that distance, i would love them differently.
  • 00:10:11.090 --> 00:10:15.594
  • I wouldn't love them with the same tenacity.
  • 00:10:15.594 --> 00:10:18.197
  • I wouldn't give them a different reassurance than what i might
  • 00:10:18.197 --> 00:10:22.001
  • Have before.
  • 00:10:22.001 --> 00:10:23.369
  • And i look at the lives of my children, and they need the
  • 00:10:23.369 --> 00:10:26.372
  • Loving support of a family unit, and they get to see that because
  • 00:10:26.372 --> 00:10:31.143
  • I've lived through some things.
  • 00:10:31.143 --> 00:10:34.246
  • Michelle: if you feel like you have been abandoned and you have
  • 00:10:34.246 --> 00:10:36.849
  • No support, i want you to know that god still sees you, that
  • 00:10:36.849 --> 00:10:40.553
  • You are not forgotten, that you are not alone in whatever trial
  • 00:10:40.553 --> 00:10:44.390
  • You are facing today.
  • 00:10:44.390 --> 00:10:45.925
  • You may feel distant from the lord, you may feel far away, but
  • 00:10:45.925 --> 00:10:48.694
  • I want to assure you, you are not alone.
  • 00:10:48.694 --> 00:10:51.530
  • I want to encourage you to get back in your bible, ask god to
  • 00:10:51.530 --> 00:10:54.767
  • Speak to you through the bible.
  • 00:10:54.767 --> 00:10:56.469
  • And if not, start with a simple prayer, asking the lord to
  • 00:10:56.469 --> 00:10:59.505
  • Reveal himself to you or to bring a friend along that will
  • 00:10:59.505 --> 00:11:02.274
  • Help encourage you in your journey.
  • 00:11:02.274 --> 00:11:04.844
  • I don't know, for anyone watching that, you know, you
  • 00:11:04.844 --> 00:11:08.047
  • Think that maybe because things didn't go the way you thought
  • 00:11:08.047 --> 00:11:10.750
  • They would, or your family doesn't look the way that you
  • 00:11:10.750 --> 00:11:13.452
  • Think that it should, like i said, this was a christian home.
  • 00:11:13.452 --> 00:11:17.957
  • I thought if anything, like this couldn't happen to my family.
  • 00:11:17.957 --> 00:11:21.427
  • My family had dedicated its life to ministry.
  • 00:11:21.427 --> 00:11:23.696
  • This was not supposed to happen, and it did.
  • 00:11:23.696 --> 00:11:27.199
  • And yet i'm sitting here today saying and it was yet still for
  • 00:11:27.199 --> 00:11:31.303
  • My good, and god is continuing to use it to bless not only my
  • 00:11:31.303 --> 00:11:36.408
  • Life, but the lives of my children.
  • 00:11:36.408 --> 00:11:38.744
  • And so, you know, i have this very loving and supportive
  • 00:11:38.744 --> 00:11:41.747
  • Family who has all of its bumps and bruises, and it is by no
  • 00:11:41.747 --> 00:11:45.584
  • Means perfect, but i feel like that's what families should be.
  • 00:11:45.584 --> 00:11:49.922
  • They should have a little bit of everything in there.
  • 00:11:49.922 --> 00:11:52.391
  • We should have some life that we can draw from and some
  • 00:11:52.391 --> 00:11:55.094
  • Experiences that we can show each other this is where god can
  • 00:11:55.094 --> 00:11:59.565
  • Bring us through, you know?
  • 00:11:59.565 --> 00:12:01.433
  • Laurie: thank you for sharing that, first of all.
  • 00:12:01.433 --> 00:12:03.769
  • I think every family has-- nobody's perfect, nobody.
  • 00:12:03.769 --> 00:12:08.274
  • You know, we all have situations in our life that we just have to
  • 00:12:08.274 --> 00:12:14.146
  • Hand over to the lord, and i think we look to people and put
  • 00:12:14.146 --> 00:12:20.286
  • Our hope and our trust and our faith and all of that
  • 00:12:20.286 --> 00:12:24.223
  • Into people.
  • 00:12:24.223 --> 00:12:26.692
  • And of course, we can sit here and say how easy it is that god
  • 00:12:26.692 --> 00:12:30.963
  • Wants all of that trust and god wants all that, you know?
  • 00:12:30.963 --> 00:12:34.333
  • And i know it's easy to say, but walking through stuff is very
  • 00:12:34.333 --> 00:12:39.338
  • Real and heartbreaking, but the redemption of christ.
  • 00:12:39.338 --> 00:12:44.476
  • You know, i talked to even to some of our team here at "better
  • 00:12:44.476 --> 00:12:47.680
  • Together," and i've got the sweetest girls here, and you
  • 00:12:47.680 --> 00:12:52.551
  • Know, a lot of them have gone through stuff, they've gone
  • 00:12:52.551 --> 00:12:55.221
  • Through abusive marriages with children, and one of them said
  • 00:12:55.221 --> 00:13:01.260
  • To me the other day, she said, i just have to tell you that
  • 00:13:01.260 --> 00:13:05.698
  • There's such redemption in what i have now, what god has
  • 00:13:05.698 --> 00:13:10.469
  • Restored to me with a beautiful husband that loves my kids.
  • 00:13:10.469 --> 00:13:14.607
  • And you know, god is the redeemer of not only things
  • 00:13:14.607 --> 00:13:19.245
  • But people.
  • 00:13:19.245 --> 00:13:20.913
  • You know, if we'll trust him.
  • 00:13:20.913 --> 00:13:23.482
  • Sheila: one of the things that's hard in life to learn is that
  • 00:13:23.482 --> 00:13:25.751
  • You cannot make somebody change.
  • 00:13:25.751 --> 00:13:28.354
  • I think sometimes as women, we think we've got this, you know,
  • 00:13:28.354 --> 00:13:31.590
  • That we'll marry you, and then you'll change or, you know, our
  • 00:13:31.590 --> 00:13:34.827
  • Kids, we'll do this, and then you'll change.
  • 00:13:34.827 --> 00:13:36.962
  • And really, honestly, the greatest gift you can give
  • 00:13:36.962 --> 00:13:39.498
  • Somebody who doesn't want to change is to pray for them,
  • 00:13:39.498 --> 00:13:42.968
  • Because only the holy spirit can really work real change in our
  • 00:13:42.968 --> 00:13:46.639
  • Life, in anyone else's life.
  • 00:13:46.639 --> 00:13:48.941
  • So if you find yourself in a situation where you think, well,
  • 00:13:48.941 --> 00:13:51.844
  • I'm having conflict in my family right now, and they're not even
  • 00:13:51.844 --> 00:13:55.014
  • Willing to change, then make it a matter of prayer between you
  • 00:13:55.014 --> 00:13:59.051
  • And the lord.
  • 00:13:59.051 --> 00:14:00.386
  • A, make the lord your best friend, because he loves you so
  • 00:14:00.386 --> 00:14:02.955
  • Much, and then pray that god will do what only he can do in
  • 00:14:02.955 --> 00:14:06.325
  • Someone else's life.
  • 00:14:06.325 --> 00:14:07.726
  • But don't get frustrated by the fact that you can't make someone
  • 00:14:07.726 --> 00:14:10.696
  • Change, because that really is the holy spirit's job.
  • 00:14:10.696 --> 00:14:14.833
  • Sheila: our "better together" community is built on love and
  • 00:14:14.833 --> 00:14:17.369
  • Friendship, and we want you to join us.
  • 00:14:17.369 --> 00:14:19.338
  • Laurie: follow us on social media to make friends with women
  • 00:14:19.338 --> 00:14:22.441
  • All over the world.
  • 00:14:22.441 --> 00:14:25.044
  • Female announcer: let's keep the conversation going.
  • 00:14:25.044 --> 00:14:27.246
  • You can find the better together podcast on your favorite
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  • Listening platform, subscribe today.
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  • Listening platform, subscribe today.
  • 00:14:35.991 --> 00:14:36.555
  • [music]
  • 00:14:36.789 --> 00:14:39.191
  • Laurie: they say that family is described as the glue which
  • 00:14:39.191 --> 00:14:43.862
  • Holds the fabric of society together, and that's true, and
  • 00:14:43.862 --> 00:14:50.102
  • It's the way god created it to be.
  • 00:14:50.102 --> 00:14:52.938
  • And so i think, you know, all the situations when you think
  • 00:14:52.938 --> 00:14:56.842
  • About people watching today, you have every story in the world,
  • 00:14:56.842 --> 00:15:01.547
  • And every story is different.
  • 00:15:01.547 --> 00:15:03.816
  • You know, there's single mothers, there are people that
  • 00:15:03.816 --> 00:15:06.585
  • Don't have families.
  • 00:15:06.585 --> 00:15:08.287
  • What do you do without your family?
  • 00:15:08.287 --> 00:15:10.255
  • You know, there's people maybe feeling like they're walking
  • 00:15:10.255 --> 00:15:14.093
  • Alone, and i don't have that support, but god says, "i put
  • 00:15:14.093 --> 00:15:19.164
  • The lonely in families," you know?
  • 00:15:19.164 --> 00:15:21.767
  • And there are people-- look at your ministry.
  • 00:15:21.767 --> 00:15:25.771
  • Your ministry is the widows.
  • 00:15:25.771 --> 00:15:28.440
  • You know, some of those little ladies probably don't have
  • 00:15:28.440 --> 00:15:32.478
  • Anything, and they're alone, you know?
  • 00:15:32.478 --> 00:15:35.781
  • But god has a way of bringing people around you to support in
  • 00:15:35.781 --> 00:15:40.686
  • Powerful ways.
  • 00:15:40.686 --> 00:15:42.054
  • I know you had that so many times and saw that in your own
  • 00:15:42.054 --> 00:15:44.690
  • Life, but situations of now caretaking for your parents, you
  • 00:15:44.690 --> 00:15:51.397
  • Know, all the different things that life brings us god is such
  • 00:15:51.397 --> 00:15:56.902
  • A redeemer of hope.
  • 00:15:56.902 --> 00:15:59.505
  • Laurie: you might be feeling lonely today.
  • 00:15:59.505 --> 00:16:01.540
  • You might think there's nobody for me, there's nobody to care
  • 00:16:01.540 --> 00:16:04.510
  • And nobody to help me.
  • 00:16:04.510 --> 00:16:06.311
  • God has a plan for you.
  • 00:16:06.311 --> 00:16:07.946
  • God has a plan for your life.
  • 00:16:07.946 --> 00:16:09.348
  • Sometimes we just have to get busy, we have to step out
  • 00:16:09.348 --> 00:16:12.751
  • In faith.
  • 00:16:12.751 --> 00:16:14.086
  • Go find a community, go to church, open your life up, find
  • 00:16:14.086 --> 00:16:17.656
  • A friend, be friendly to somebody else, give what you
  • 00:16:17.656 --> 00:16:21.293
  • Need, give what you need away.
  • 00:16:21.293 --> 00:16:24.730
  • You need a smile, you give a smile.
  • 00:16:24.730 --> 00:16:27.699
  • God has a plan for you.
  • 00:16:27.699 --> 00:16:29.701
  • He says, "i'll never leave you, i'll never forsake you," but
  • 00:16:29.701 --> 00:16:32.704
  • There are people ready to surround you with god's love.
  • 00:16:32.704 --> 00:16:36.909
  • And so i just encourage you to find a community.
  • 00:16:36.909 --> 00:16:39.611
  • We're a community, "better together," right here.
  • 00:16:39.611 --> 00:16:42.047
  • We love you, and we support you, we pray for you here, and so
  • 00:16:42.047 --> 00:16:46.618
  • That's one thing, but for you to go out and you to do what you
  • 00:16:46.618 --> 00:16:50.656
  • Know to do, and god will fill your life with beautiful people
  • 00:16:50.656 --> 00:16:55.527
  • And joy unspeakable.
  • 00:16:55.527 --> 00:16:57.963
  • Sheila: but then what i think matters so much with your story,
  • 00:16:57.963 --> 00:17:01.733
  • Michelle, and with what you're saying, too, is stewardship.
  • 00:17:01.733 --> 00:17:06.171
  • How do you steward your suffering?
  • 00:17:06.171 --> 00:17:08.574
  • Because i think that there's things we all go through that we
  • 00:17:08.574 --> 00:17:12.211
  • Think, wow, no, i would not have chosen that lord, but how do i
  • 00:17:12.211 --> 00:17:16.315
  • Steward that?
  • 00:17:16.315 --> 00:17:17.683
  • Because of the fact that now that you reach out, you're about
  • 00:17:17.683 --> 00:17:19.818
  • To have conference with over 500 widows, that's gotta make heaven
  • 00:17:19.818 --> 00:17:24.490
  • So happy.
  • 00:17:24.490 --> 00:17:25.858
  • If you think about it, it's like the joseph thing, the very thing
  • 00:17:25.858 --> 00:17:28.494
  • You intended for evil, god intended for good.
  • 00:17:28.494 --> 00:17:31.730
  • So i'm just thinking of anybody watching and thinking, this part
  • 00:17:31.730 --> 00:17:34.233
  • Of my story is broken, and this part didn't work, but it's
  • 00:17:34.233 --> 00:17:38.070
  • Amazing what god will do with a broken life when you give him
  • 00:17:38.070 --> 00:17:40.739
  • All the pieces.
  • 00:17:40.739 --> 00:17:42.074
  • It's amazing how he will shine through those places.
  • 00:17:42.074 --> 00:17:44.443
  • Rachel brown: viktor frankl said suffering ceases to become
  • 00:17:44.443 --> 00:17:47.713
  • Suffering when it finds meaning, and i think it's so true.
  • 00:17:47.713 --> 00:17:51.450
  • I think so many people just really--they just continually
  • 00:17:51.450 --> 00:17:55.454
  • Suffer, because they just haven't found meaning.
  • 00:17:55.454 --> 00:17:58.957
  • But yeah, and i didn't even know that's what i was doing.
  • 00:17:58.957 --> 00:18:02.027
  • You know, i didn't even know i was making meaning or making
  • 00:18:02.027 --> 00:18:05.297
  • Purpose out of suffering.
  • 00:18:05.297 --> 00:18:06.899
  • I mean, i had no idea.
  • 00:18:06.899 --> 00:18:08.233
  • I was just trying to love on the younger version of myself.
  • 00:18:08.233 --> 00:18:10.636
  • And you know, i always--i really feel like the lord showed
  • 00:18:10.636 --> 00:18:14.706
  • Me this in mark 5 when he was in the boat and people are always,
  • 00:18:14.706 --> 00:18:18.577
  • You know, all about the storm and how he calmed the storm, but
  • 00:18:18.577 --> 00:18:21.079
  • I--when i read mark 5, i'm thinking about the demoniac on
  • 00:18:21.079 --> 00:18:24.550
  • The other side.
  • 00:18:24.550 --> 00:18:25.884
  • And for me, looking at that guy who jesus knew he was on the
  • 00:18:25.884 --> 00:18:29.555
  • Other side, and he goes across, he calms the storm, he's like,
  • 00:18:29.555 --> 00:18:33.625
  • Oh, just wait, that was just like a little taste.
  • 00:18:33.625 --> 00:18:36.495
  • He calms the storm, and then he goes to the other side, and then
  • 00:18:36.495 --> 00:18:38.530
  • He, you know, releases that man, and then that man goes and leads
  • 00:18:38.530 --> 00:18:43.268
  • Ten cities to jesus, right?
  • 00:18:43.268 --> 00:18:46.305
  • I mean, like, is the person who demonstrates the gospel, repeats
  • 00:18:46.305 --> 00:18:51.343
  • The gospel and says this man did this for me.
  • 00:18:51.343 --> 00:18:53.645
  • And i think about that, because we wanna ask why did this
  • 00:18:53.645 --> 00:18:57.549
  • Happen, right?
  • 00:18:57.549 --> 00:18:58.884
  • We try to, you know, build resilience, like asking why will
  • 00:18:58.884 --> 00:19:02.554
  • Not build resilience.
  • 00:19:02.554 --> 00:19:05.057
  • That will absolutely take you out.
  • 00:19:05.057 --> 00:19:06.992
  • And the way you build resilience to me is you look for the who.
  • 00:19:06.992 --> 00:19:13.265
  • Who is on the other side of this pain?
  • 00:19:13.265 --> 00:19:15.667
  • And i think for me that has been an overarching theme that i
  • 00:19:15.667 --> 00:19:21.573
  • Didn't even know i was doing.
  • 00:19:21.573 --> 00:19:23.842
  • I mean, you know, you don't know it till--you really don't know
  • 00:19:23.842 --> 00:19:26.378
  • Till you look back so many times.
  • 00:19:26.378 --> 00:19:28.080
  • And so for anyone who's listening, and they're like in
  • 00:19:28.080 --> 00:19:30.482
  • It, you won't see it clearly till it's behind you, you know?
  • 00:19:30.482 --> 00:19:35.454
  • But i think for so many of us, if you can just look for a who
  • 00:19:35.454 --> 00:19:39.491
  • And you activate yourself to who's on the other side just
  • 00:19:39.491 --> 00:19:42.628
  • Like jesus did, he was totally activated to that man, to
  • 00:19:42.628 --> 00:19:45.797
  • The demoniac.
  • 00:19:45.797 --> 00:19:47.132
  • Blynda lane: and i think sometimes you're just holding
  • 00:19:47.132 --> 00:19:49.701
  • On, right?
  • 00:19:49.701 --> 00:19:51.036
  • Depending on where you are in that story.
  • 00:19:51.036 --> 00:19:52.471
  • If you're in the messy middle, you might just be holding on for
  • 00:19:52.471 --> 00:19:55.440
  • Dear life.
  • 00:19:55.440 --> 00:19:56.775
  • You don't even see purpose in it yet, you're just trying to
  • 00:19:56.775 --> 00:19:59.077
  • Figure out how to take your next breath or survive, but i think
  • 00:19:59.077 --> 00:20:02.714
  • That's why in one of our conversations we were talking
  • 00:20:02.714 --> 00:20:05.250
  • About consistency and how even with your program, "the biggest
  • 00:20:05.250 --> 00:20:09.621
  • Loser," weight loss journey, so much of getting to the goal you
  • 00:20:09.621 --> 00:20:14.192
  • Wanted was the consistency, and i think if you can just get it
  • 00:20:14.192 --> 00:20:18.130
  • In your spirit that he's the greatest hope you have, so don't
  • 00:20:18.130 --> 00:20:23.068
  • Give up on hope, don't give up, just hold on.
  • 00:20:23.068 --> 00:20:25.604
  • Through the messy middle there may be on the other side a full
  • 00:20:25.604 --> 00:20:28.740
  • Ministry waiting for you.
  • 00:20:28.740 --> 00:20:30.075
  • There may be--there's gonna be children legacy on the other
  • 00:20:30.075 --> 00:20:32.911
  • Side, but in that hard moment it may feel like the easier thing
  • 00:20:32.911 --> 00:20:38.050
  • To do is to just give up when we know you couldn't--i mean,
  • 00:20:38.050 --> 00:20:42.387
  • You'd be in a completely different place had you just
  • 00:20:42.387 --> 00:20:45.857
  • Given up hope, had you walked away from the lord, had you
  • 00:20:45.857 --> 00:20:48.460
  • Asked the why too many times that you fell victim to
  • 00:20:48.460 --> 00:20:52.631
  • Victim mentality.
  • 00:20:52.631 --> 00:20:53.999
  • And the encouragement there is if you're finding yourself in
  • 00:20:53.999 --> 00:20:57.602
  • That messy middle, just keep going, don't lose hope.
  • 00:20:57.602 --> 00:21:01.606
  • Rachel: yeah, yes, absolutely.
  • 00:21:01.606 --> 00:21:03.375
  • I think seeing it, too, like in my daughter going through an
  • 00:21:03.375 --> 00:21:06.411
  • Eating disorder on the other side of the trauma we've already
  • 00:21:06.411 --> 00:21:09.348
  • Lived, i'm like, lord, i have enough stories, i don't need
  • 00:21:09.348 --> 00:21:11.683
  • Another story.
  • 00:21:11.683 --> 00:21:13.051
  • We've all said that.
  • 00:21:13.051 --> 00:21:14.386
  • But i mean, i think watching her and watching her draw from what
  • 00:21:14.386 --> 00:21:18.890
  • She'd seen, even though i wasn't teaching her this is how you be
  • 00:21:18.890 --> 00:21:22.794
  • Resilient, campbell, you know?
  • 00:21:22.794 --> 00:21:24.629
  • But really teaching her every day, one day at a time, you
  • 00:21:24.629 --> 00:21:28.700
  • Know, the discipline of getting up and, you know, doing the
  • 00:21:28.700 --> 00:21:31.870
  • Things when she got out of treatment that she knew this is
  • 00:21:31.870 --> 00:21:33.972
  • Gonna lead to a long, beautiful life.
  • 00:21:33.972 --> 00:21:36.541
  • And those old patterns aren't gonna serve me, but just seeing
  • 00:21:36.541 --> 00:21:39.745
  • Her resilience, he just like, oh my goodness, i mean, and
  • 00:21:39.745 --> 00:21:43.048
  • Thinking how much more--i mean, how thrilled the lord is when he
  • 00:21:43.048 --> 00:21:48.754
  • Can see that in the generations, you know?
  • 00:21:48.754 --> 00:21:51.056
  • And that it's transferring.
  • 00:21:51.056 --> 00:21:53.325
  • I mean, you know, it's just--
  • 00:21:53.325 --> 00:21:54.693
  • Blynda: it's not just i think for her to go through something
  • 00:21:54.693 --> 00:21:57.462
  • So hard at such a young age, her faith became hers.
  • 00:21:57.462 --> 00:22:01.066
  • It's not she wasn't borrowing your faith that she watched her
  • 00:22:01.066 --> 00:22:04.770
  • Mom walk through hard things and saw her mom have this faith
  • 00:22:04.770 --> 00:22:07.506
  • In god.
  • 00:22:07.506 --> 00:22:08.840
  • She had to walk through something hard that she had to
  • 00:22:08.840 --> 00:22:10.675
  • Make the decision this is now my faith, and i've seen god move on
  • 00:22:10.675 --> 00:22:14.613
  • My behalf in my life.
  • 00:22:14.613 --> 00:22:16.448
  • And that for her actually sets her up for so much success in
  • 00:22:16.448 --> 00:22:20.018
  • Her life, you know?
  • 00:22:20.018 --> 00:22:22.020
  • Rachel: but really walked away like in that hard place.
  • 00:22:22.020 --> 00:22:25.290
  • I'm so mad at god, you know what i mean?
  • 00:22:25.290 --> 00:22:27.726
  • And so and then came back, and i just go back to train up a
  • 00:22:27.726 --> 00:22:31.296
  • Child, when they're old, they will not depart from it.
  • 00:22:31.296 --> 00:22:33.799
  • And she was older, and yet it was still the guiding light,
  • 00:22:33.799 --> 00:22:38.670
  • You know?
  • 00:22:38.670 --> 00:22:40.005
  • And i just, oh, thank you, lord, for your word that i can stand
  • 00:22:40.005 --> 00:22:43.508
  • On it, and it never comes back void.
  • 00:22:43.508 --> 00:22:45.243
  • Because truly, i was just like, when she is old, when she is
  • 00:22:45.243 --> 00:22:48.780
  • Old, i would say that to myself over and over and over, because
  • 00:22:48.780 --> 00:22:51.550
  • I knew, i mean, that will not return void.
  • 00:22:51.550 --> 00:22:55.687
  • Blynda: i mean, it's so true, though, finding maybe one
  • 00:22:55.687 --> 00:22:58.857
  • Scripture, too, that you can just repeat over and over that
  • 00:22:58.857 --> 00:23:02.928
  • Just brings peace to your heart.
  • 00:23:02.928 --> 00:23:05.063
  • I know there's been seasons for me that was isaiah 26:3 for me,
  • 00:23:05.063 --> 00:23:09.568
  • He will keep me in perfect peace, those whose minds are
  • 00:23:09.568 --> 00:23:11.736
  • Steadfast on him for those they trust in him.
  • 00:23:11.736 --> 00:23:14.005
  • I mean, like, i just know i will be in perfect peace because i'm
  • 00:23:14.005 --> 00:23:16.675
  • Trusting you god.
  • 00:23:16.675 --> 00:23:18.009
  • Like, if you can find one scripture and just put that on
  • 00:23:18.009 --> 00:23:21.847
  • Repeat, if that's all you can do, then do that, then say it,
  • 00:23:21.847 --> 00:23:25.584
  • Speak it out loud.
  • 00:23:25.584 --> 00:23:26.952
  • I think there's such importance in speaking the word out loud,
  • 00:23:26.952 --> 00:23:30.155
  • Speaking over your family, speaking generational blessing
  • 00:23:30.155 --> 00:23:34.493
  • Over your family, there's such importance in that.
  • 00:23:34.493 --> 00:23:37.729
  • Michelle: as a family, it's important that we stay
  • 00:23:37.729 --> 00:23:39.631
  • Encouraged each and every day, because there are so many things
  • 00:23:39.631 --> 00:23:42.701
  • In life where disappointments come.
  • 00:23:42.701 --> 00:23:44.903
  • And so i have two young girls, and i want to constantly be
  • 00:23:44.903 --> 00:23:48.607
  • Their cheerleader.
  • 00:23:48.607 --> 00:23:49.941
  • One thing i do each and every day is let them know that i love
  • 00:23:49.941 --> 00:23:53.411
  • Them, that i'm cheering for them, and that i believe
  • 00:23:53.411 --> 00:23:56.114
  • In them.
  • 00:23:56.114 --> 00:23:57.449
  • And i feel like that's one way that i encourage them, but my
  • 00:23:57.449 --> 00:24:00.652
  • Children in turn, because they see that modeled in me, are able
  • 00:24:00.652 --> 00:24:03.688
  • To encourage me.
  • 00:24:03.688 --> 00:24:05.056
  • They have seen me sad, they have seen me upset, and they are the
  • 00:24:05.056 --> 00:24:08.026
  • First ones to respond with a love, a loving kind word, or
  • 00:24:08.026 --> 00:24:11.863
  • They will come and embrace me.
  • 00:24:11.863 --> 00:24:13.198
  • And i feel like because it's been modeled to them, they are
  • 00:24:13.198 --> 00:24:15.734
  • Able to then in turn model that to me.
  • 00:24:15.734 --> 00:24:18.770
  • Blynda: i'm thinking about i talked about my father-in-law
  • 00:24:18.770 --> 00:24:21.973
  • About how he kind of as the grand patriarch he kind of has
  • 00:24:21.973 --> 00:24:24.442
  • This, you know, thing to protect our family.
  • 00:24:24.442 --> 00:24:27.245
  • And so, todd is the oldest of 4 kids, and so when the youngest
  • 00:24:27.245 --> 00:24:31.616
  • Got married in 2008, he was waiting for the youngest to get
  • 00:24:31.616 --> 00:24:35.453
  • Married, because what he wanted to do everybody needed to be
  • 00:24:35.453 --> 00:24:37.789
  • Married, because they needed to know who their partner was.
  • 00:24:37.789 --> 00:24:39.791
  • So when everybody was married, and everybody had their person,
  • 00:24:39.791 --> 00:24:42.994
  • We put out a lane family values statement, and i almost
  • 00:24:42.994 --> 00:24:48.667
  • Brought it.
  • 00:24:48.667 --> 00:24:50.001
  • Because we all had it framed, because we all had to sign it.
  • 00:24:50.001 --> 00:24:51.736
  • I mean, it was almost like a contract, and it's framed, and i
  • 00:24:51.736 --> 00:24:54.472
  • Actually almost brought it and thought can i show that?
  • 00:24:54.472 --> 00:24:56.174
  • Because it's just--it's so truly like amazing, but we came
  • 00:24:56.174 --> 00:24:59.911
  • Up as a family of our lane family value statements, we all
  • 00:24:59.911 --> 00:25:03.882
  • Agreed upon them, we all read them together, and then we all
  • 00:25:03.882 --> 00:25:06.651
  • Signed on this date, you know we're all--
  • 00:25:06.651 --> 00:25:08.687
  • Yeah, what it did for us is, you know, when you think about
  • 00:25:08.687 --> 00:25:11.856
  • Standing up in your--on your wedding day, and you're with a
  • 00:25:11.856 --> 00:25:15.360
  • Crowd of people, and you're standing before god, but you're
  • 00:25:15.360 --> 00:25:18.196
  • Also standing before others, and you're making this vow and this
  • 00:25:18.196 --> 00:25:21.166
  • Commitment before god and others that this is how you will live.
  • 00:25:21.166 --> 00:25:25.370
  • In the same way, that's what we were all doing as a family,
  • 00:25:25.370 --> 00:25:28.840
  • We're standing up saying we're committing to living by these
  • 00:25:28.840 --> 00:25:32.611
  • Values for the rest of our days, and because you're family, and
  • 00:25:32.611 --> 00:25:36.247
  • You've signed, we're holding you all accountable to that, to the
  • 00:25:36.247 --> 00:25:39.684
  • Same thing, you know?
  • 00:25:39.684 --> 00:25:41.019
  • And we all have them hung up in our home, we all, you know, can
  • 00:25:41.019 --> 00:25:44.656
  • Read them often.
  • 00:25:44.656 --> 00:25:45.991
  • Our kids have grown up knowing these are the lane family
  • 00:25:45.991 --> 00:25:49.427
  • Values, this is what--
  • 00:25:49.427 --> 00:25:51.129
  • And i think those kind of intentional acts from my
  • 00:25:51.129 --> 00:25:55.600
  • Father-in-law to set in motion generational blessing and to
  • 00:25:55.600 --> 00:26:00.839
  • Take it seriously, hey, as a family we're committed, we're
  • 00:26:00.839 --> 00:26:05.243
  • Committed to god and to each other, we're committed to make
  • 00:26:05.243 --> 00:26:08.046
  • Kingdom impact, we're committed to being married for the rest of
  • 00:26:08.046 --> 00:26:11.016
  • Our lives, we're committed to being a part of a congregation
  • 00:26:11.016 --> 00:26:14.486
  • Church of believers.
  • 00:26:14.486 --> 00:26:15.854
  • I mean, like, these are all part of the statements, and i just
  • 00:26:15.854 --> 00:26:18.523
  • Think that it's--i don't know if people are armoring up as
  • 00:26:18.523 --> 00:26:24.329
  • Much as we should in today's world to say the enemy will not
  • 00:26:24.329 --> 00:26:28.500
  • Have my family, absolutely not.
  • 00:26:28.500 --> 00:26:30.301
  • He will not have my grandchildren, my great
  • 00:26:30.301 --> 00:26:31.770
  • Grandchildren, my great great grandchildren, like we're
  • 00:26:31.770 --> 00:26:33.805
  • Putting a stake in the ground.
  • 00:26:33.805 --> 00:26:36.107
  • Sheila: paul really talks about that in his letter to the church
  • 00:26:36.107 --> 00:26:38.109
  • In ephesus, because that spiritual armor chapter, chapter
  • 00:26:38.109 --> 00:26:40.912
  • 6, where he talks about take the sword of the spirit, which is
  • 00:26:40.912 --> 00:26:43.815
  • The word of god.
  • 00:26:43.815 --> 00:26:45.150
  • The word that he uses there for sword isn't like a long sword,
  • 00:26:45.150 --> 00:26:47.819
  • It's like a dagger, it's short, and the word for word of god is,
  • 00:26:47.819 --> 00:26:51.656
  • You'll notice when it's word of god in scripture, it's
  • 00:26:51.656 --> 00:26:53.758
  • Capitalized, this isn't, it's little w, so it's not logos,
  • 00:26:53.758 --> 00:26:57.162
  • It's not the word, it's rheam, a word, and he's saying find those
  • 00:26:57.162 --> 00:27:01.433
  • Verses so that when the enemy comes against you, find those
  • 00:27:01.433 --> 00:27:04.369
  • Verses that you are--you have ready for warfare so that you
  • 00:27:04.369 --> 00:27:08.773
  • Can stand.
  • 00:27:08.773 --> 00:27:10.108
  • I mean, i remember barry and i having to do that with our son
  • 00:27:10.108 --> 00:27:12.277
  • With a girl he was dating at one point that we just knew wasn't
  • 00:27:12.277 --> 00:27:16.247
  • The right person.
  • 00:27:16.247 --> 00:27:18.216
  • Not that--i mean she was a lovely person, but we just--it
  • 00:27:18.216 --> 00:27:20.485
  • Wasn't good, it wasn't right.
  • 00:27:20.485 --> 00:27:22.153
  • And but that's what i did.
  • 00:27:22.153 --> 00:27:23.488
  • It was like i took that really seriously, you know?
  • 00:27:23.488 --> 00:27:26.691
  • To take scriptures and take it, this is a word from god for us
  • 00:27:26.691 --> 00:27:30.729
  • And for our family, and we will pray over them.
  • 00:27:30.729 --> 00:27:33.031
  • Because my mum did that for me when i was little.
  • 00:27:33.031 --> 00:27:35.567
  • After my father's suicide, i walked in my sleep till i was
  • 00:27:35.567 --> 00:27:38.436
  • Almost 18 years old.
  • 00:27:38.436 --> 00:27:40.271
  • But once i was asleep in bed at night, my mum would come in, and
  • 00:27:40.271 --> 00:27:43.007
  • She would lay hands on me.
  • 00:27:43.007 --> 00:27:44.709
  • And she's a wee baptist woman, but she would come in and lay
  • 00:27:44.709 --> 00:27:48.913
  • Hands on me and pray, "lord, for this one, this least likely, i
  • 00:27:48.913 --> 00:27:52.684
  • Offer her to you and ask for your covering and
  • 00:27:52.684 --> 00:27:55.186
  • Your protection."
  • 00:27:55.186 --> 00:27:56.554
  • And i often think, gosh, i wonder when i get to heaven,
  • 00:27:56.554 --> 00:28:00.658
  • What we'll all see of the different prayers that our
  • 00:28:00.658 --> 00:28:02.927
  • Families prayed and the difference it made and.
  • 00:28:02.927 --> 00:28:06.498
  • Laurie: i think as men and women of god, we have the
  • 00:28:06.498 --> 00:28:09.667
  • Responsibility to speak life into our homes and into our
  • 00:28:09.667 --> 00:28:13.705
  • Families and into our relationships, into those,
  • 00:28:13.705 --> 00:28:16.941
  • Especially the ones closest to us, your husband, your children,
  • 00:28:16.941 --> 00:28:21.412
  • Your wife.
  • 00:28:21.412 --> 00:28:22.781
  • Speak life, speak love, speak.
  • 00:28:22.781 --> 00:28:26.584
  • It will change the atmosphere of your home in such a
  • 00:28:26.584 --> 00:28:30.622
  • Dramatic way.
  • 00:28:30.622 --> 00:28:31.956
  • It might take a few days, but i promise you death and life are
  • 00:28:31.956 --> 00:28:36.227
  • In the power of the tongue.
  • 00:28:36.227 --> 00:28:37.562
  • You can have whatever you say.
  • 00:28:37.562 --> 00:28:39.564
  • If you choose just the negative to talk about all the time or
  • 00:28:39.564 --> 00:28:44.636
  • The negative things to say over people, you're gonna get that.
  • 00:28:44.636 --> 00:28:48.273
  • You're gonna get that back.
  • 00:28:48.273 --> 00:28:49.808
  • But if you choose to speak words of life and love, you're gonna
  • 00:28:49.808 --> 00:28:55.613
  • Receive that, you're gonna reap from that.
  • 00:28:55.613 --> 00:28:57.649
  • Those are seeds planted in the ground, the words of your mouth,
  • 00:28:57.649 --> 00:29:01.119
  • And so i encourage you today that if you don't have anything
  • 00:29:01.119 --> 00:29:04.556
  • Good to say, you don't have a lovely tone, you don't have--
  • 00:29:04.556 --> 00:29:07.725
  • You need silence is golden.
  • 00:29:07.725 --> 00:29:10.161
  • Choose your words wisely, and then speak love and life into
  • 00:29:10.161 --> 00:29:13.598
  • Your home.
  • 00:29:13.598 --> 00:29:15.099
  • Rachel: i wanna say, too, i feel like so many times when you're
  • 00:29:15.099 --> 00:29:18.503
  • Single parenting or you're divorced or something terrible's
  • 00:29:18.503 --> 00:29:22.140
  • Happened in your family, you don't feel like a
  • 00:29:22.140 --> 00:29:24.742
  • Family anymore.
  • 00:29:24.742 --> 00:29:26.110
  • It's a really common thing with the widows.
  • 00:29:26.110 --> 00:29:28.313
  • And, you know, even for me, it was just me and the kids, i
  • 00:29:28.313 --> 00:29:31.883
  • Didn't feel like a unit, you know?
  • 00:29:31.883 --> 00:29:33.718
  • And so i can hear people, it's like i feel the lord's
  • 00:29:33.718 --> 00:29:37.188
  • Tenderness towards people who are like we're not really a
  • 00:29:37.188 --> 00:29:40.325
  • Family anymore.
  • 00:29:40.325 --> 00:29:41.659
  • And i just--i say to you, just declaratively, you are still a
  • 00:29:41.659 --> 00:29:46.531
  • Family, and you have the choice to move forward as a solo
  • 00:29:46.531 --> 00:29:50.702
  • Parent, single parent, widow, divorced mom, whatever, and
  • 00:29:50.702 --> 00:29:54.672
  • Create family values for yourself, even without a husband
  • 00:29:54.672 --> 00:29:57.942
  • Or without, you know, not feeling whole, because there is
  • 00:29:57.942 --> 00:30:01.246
  • That tendency to feel like we're less than, we're not that, we're
  • 00:30:01.246 --> 00:30:04.249
  • Not as spiritual as the lanes or, you know, whatever.
  • 00:30:04.249 --> 00:30:07.452
  • And that's just the enemy.
  • 00:30:07.452 --> 00:30:09.254
  • That is the enemy's attack on the family, because he wants you
  • 00:30:09.254 --> 00:30:12.490
  • To not feel like a family.
  • 00:30:12.490 --> 00:30:14.192
  • So you just--you're apathetic towards your future and the
  • 00:30:14.192 --> 00:30:18.229
  • Destiny over your family.
  • 00:30:18.229 --> 00:30:19.564
  • So i'm so encouraged hearing you.
  • 00:30:19.564 --> 00:30:21.432
  • I'm like, man, i love having friends like blynda.
  • 00:30:21.432 --> 00:30:24.102
  • I'm like, i need some family values.
  • 00:30:24.102 --> 00:30:26.771
  • This is awesome.
  • 00:30:26.771 --> 00:30:28.239
  • Michelle: well, and i think that the support of a family comes in
  • 00:30:28.239 --> 00:30:30.875
  • Different forms.
  • 00:30:30.875 --> 00:30:32.210
  • It's not always your biological family, it's not--
  • 00:30:32.210 --> 00:30:35.046
  • Rachel: that is so true.
  • 00:30:35.046 --> 00:30:36.381
  • Laurie: the family of god.
  • 00:30:36.381 --> 00:30:37.715
  • Michelle: yeah, the family of god is still your family.
  • 00:30:37.715 --> 00:30:39.083
  • I had wonderful women who spoke into my life during a season
  • 00:30:39.083 --> 00:30:42.553
  • Where i felt like i was in a desert, and so--but god used
  • 00:30:42.553 --> 00:30:46.324
  • These other women, because to your point, it can feel shameful
  • 00:30:46.324 --> 00:30:50.762
  • If women or men or families are facing divorce and things like
  • 00:30:50.762 --> 00:30:54.432
  • That, where you think, well, we're not good enough, we're not
  • 00:30:54.432 --> 00:30:56.935
  • The same, and that surely god can't use this life now.
  • 00:30:56.935 --> 00:31:00.271
  • I mean, it's just a mess, you know?
  • 00:31:00.271 --> 00:31:02.440
  • And but yet he does, and he brings people into your life if
  • 00:31:02.440 --> 00:31:05.710
  • You allow them to be there and to give them space for them to,
  • 00:31:05.710 --> 00:31:09.580
  • You know, lovingly help guide and mentor you and help you to
  • 00:31:09.580 --> 00:31:14.185
  • Grow into the person that god's called you to be.
  • 00:31:14.185 --> 00:31:17.255
  • Blynda: i think there's practical things we can do to
  • 00:31:17.255 --> 00:31:19.023
  • Spur one another on.
  • 00:31:19.023 --> 00:31:20.358
  • I think, first off, pretty simple, but sometimes we just
  • 00:31:20.358 --> 00:31:23.027
  • Don't take time to do it, is just give someone an
  • 00:31:23.027 --> 00:31:25.196
  • Encouraging word.
  • 00:31:25.196 --> 00:31:26.564
  • I know for me, when somebody has taken time out of their day to
  • 00:31:26.564 --> 00:31:29.500
  • Send me an encouraging text or to give me a call or to just
  • 00:31:29.500 --> 00:31:32.103
  • Tell me an encouraging word, it changes my whole perspective on
  • 00:31:32.103 --> 00:31:34.939
  • The day.
  • 00:31:34.939 --> 00:31:36.274
  • So, i would say, if you--if the lord puts someone on your heart,
  • 00:31:36.274 --> 00:31:39.043
  • Send them a text, encourage them.
  • 00:31:39.043 --> 00:31:40.945
  • It might just be the exact word they need.
  • 00:31:40.945 --> 00:31:43.281
  • I think also spending time with people.
  • 00:31:43.281 --> 00:31:45.383
  • I think in a busy world, it's really easy to say i don't have
  • 00:31:45.383 --> 00:31:47.852
  • Time, i can't do that, but if you can carve out time with
  • 00:31:47.852 --> 00:31:51.823
  • Someone, it could be the thing that literally spurs them on to
  • 00:31:51.823 --> 00:31:55.693
  • Keep them going for them to keep pursuing relationship with jesus
  • 00:31:55.693 --> 00:31:59.263
  • And pursuing relationship with others.
  • 00:31:59.263 --> 00:32:01.099
  • And then, finally, the best way to spur someone on is to pray
  • 00:32:01.099 --> 00:32:04.569
  • For them.
  • 00:32:04.569 --> 00:32:05.937
  • And i just would say find a few people that the lord could put
  • 00:32:05.937 --> 00:32:08.373
  • On your heart that you consistently pray for and reach
  • 00:32:08.373 --> 00:32:11.843
  • Out to them asking them how you can pray for them, and i tell
  • 00:32:11.843 --> 00:32:14.879
  • You that will be one of the greatest ways that continue
  • 00:32:14.879 --> 00:32:18.449
  • Spurring them on in their walk with christ.
  • 00:32:18.449 --> 00:32:22.086
  • Michelle: and it's still going to be messy at times.
  • 00:32:22.086 --> 00:32:24.055
  • You know, with my mom and i, we have a great relationship today,
  • 00:32:24.055 --> 00:32:27.692
  • But it's not to say that there aren't some days where it goes a
  • 00:32:27.692 --> 00:32:30.428
  • Little sideways or, you know, you're like, well, i'm not
  • 00:32:30.428 --> 00:32:32.930
  • Answering her in the text or whatever it might be.
  • 00:32:32.930 --> 00:32:35.566
  • But i made a decision while i was there on the show, i really
  • 00:32:35.566 --> 00:32:39.570
  • Had this come to jesus kind of moment.
  • 00:32:39.570 --> 00:32:41.606
  • I was already a believer, but there was a moment of surrender
  • 00:32:41.606 --> 00:32:44.675
  • For me on the show, because i did try to leave it, i tried to
  • 00:32:44.675 --> 00:32:47.278
  • Quit, it became too much, and i really just laid there in the
  • 00:32:47.278 --> 00:32:52.283
  • Middle of, you know, a tv set type moment and just said, god,
  • 00:32:52.283 --> 00:32:57.155
  • I don't know what i'm doing here.
  • 00:32:57.155 --> 00:32:58.890
  • Can you use this environment to change my life?
  • 00:32:58.890 --> 00:33:02.593
  • I don't know, but i'm tired of fighting.
  • 00:33:02.593 --> 00:33:05.530
  • I'm tired of fighting against myself, against my mom, against
  • 00:33:05.530 --> 00:33:09.267
  • All these feelings.
  • 00:33:09.267 --> 00:33:10.601
  • I'm just tired, and god, i just give you my life, and if you can
  • 00:33:10.601 --> 00:33:14.372
  • Do anything with it, then do it, and i'll stay here in this crazy
  • 00:33:14.372 --> 00:33:19.043
  • Little show as long as you want me to, and i'll quit trying to
  • 00:33:19.043 --> 00:33:23.114
  • Quit it.
  • 00:33:23.114 --> 00:33:24.482
  • You know, i'll just show up every day, i'll do the work with
  • 00:33:24.482 --> 00:33:26.684
  • Both my mom and with the trainer, and i will work towards
  • 00:33:26.684 --> 00:33:30.822
  • Whatever you have for me in my future.
  • 00:33:30.822 --> 00:33:33.057
  • And god honored that each and every day.
  • 00:33:33.057 --> 00:33:34.892
  • It was just one foot in front of the other.
  • 00:33:34.892 --> 00:33:36.961
  • So many of the things we've been talking about this week has been
  • 00:33:36.961 --> 00:33:39.363
  • About consistency or about building a foundation, and we
  • 00:33:39.363 --> 00:33:43.034
  • All feel like it has to look a certain way for it to be the
  • 00:33:43.034 --> 00:33:46.904
  • Will and the plan of god, but it might go a little crazy.
  • 00:33:46.904 --> 00:33:50.007
  • My life verse is, you know, proverbs 3:5 and 6, trust in the
  • 00:33:50.007 --> 00:33:53.678
  • Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understandings,
  • 00:33:53.678 --> 00:33:56.280
  • In all your ways acknowledge him, and he, he makes the
  • 00:33:56.280 --> 00:33:59.250
  • Path straight.
  • 00:33:59.250 --> 00:34:00.585
  • I've tried for six years in my little desert season of not
  • 00:34:00.585 --> 00:34:04.222
  • Speaking to my mother to make my little path straight, and it
  • 00:34:04.222 --> 00:34:06.991
  • Just kept going crooked.
  • 00:34:06.991 --> 00:34:08.359
  • It just kept going off afar, because i wanted so badly to fix
  • 00:34:08.359 --> 00:34:11.963
  • It on my own and to not deal with those things, but i needed,
  • 00:34:11.963 --> 00:34:15.800
  • You know, this love and the support of my family, which i
  • 00:34:15.800 --> 00:34:18.569
  • Got in many ways, and i'm grateful for, but i continue
  • 00:34:18.569 --> 00:34:23.241
  • To--when i deal with the relationship with my mom or with
  • 00:34:23.241 --> 00:34:26.811
  • Anybody that i have a difficult relationship, is i've decided
  • 00:34:26.811 --> 00:34:30.481
  • That i trust jesus with my heart more than i trust anyone else.
  • 00:34:30.481 --> 00:34:35.253
  • And i trust that he has me no matter what.
  • 00:34:35.253 --> 00:34:38.723
  • And that because i've given my life, and i've surrendered my
  • 00:34:38.723 --> 00:34:41.692
  • Life to him, that it doesn't matter what happens.
  • 00:34:41.692 --> 00:34:44.729
  • I can be disappointed, i can be upset, but i cannot ever
  • 00:34:44.729 --> 00:34:49.066
  • Question his love for me.
  • 00:34:49.066 --> 00:34:50.735
  • And so with that power, i move forward.
  • 00:34:50.735 --> 00:34:52.870
  • With that strength, that joy, i move forward in it, and so,
  • 00:34:52.870 --> 00:34:57.308
  • Whatever your family looks like, however misshapen or, you know,
  • 00:34:57.308 --> 00:35:01.312
  • Maybe it's a picture-perfect little box, and to that, you
  • 00:35:01.312 --> 00:35:04.615
  • Know, you are a witness, too, in that.
  • 00:35:04.615 --> 00:35:06.584
  • That is a testimony to others who need to know that, you know,
  • 00:35:06.584 --> 00:35:10.054
  • God works in all the ways that he's promised to work, and
  • 00:35:10.054 --> 00:35:13.925
  • You're not forgotten at whatever stage you're in, you know?
  • 00:35:13.925 --> 00:35:18.029
  • That god is the author of all of it, and you can just really
  • 00:35:18.029 --> 00:35:21.933
  • Trust and lean on the support of those that he gives you
  • 00:35:21.933 --> 00:35:24.569
  • As family.
  • 00:35:24.569 --> 00:35:25.870
  • [music]
  • 00:35:25.870 --> 00:35:32.610
  • Rachel: if you do not have family members who are
  • 00:35:32.610 --> 00:35:35.813
  • Believers, and you feel like totally alone, i would say lean
  • 00:35:35.813 --> 00:35:40.318
  • Into your community.
  • 00:35:40.318 --> 00:35:42.353
  • Community is everything.
  • 00:35:42.353 --> 00:35:43.721
  • Community is healing.
  • 00:35:43.721 --> 00:35:45.056
  • I believe we need our friends, we need our communities.
  • 00:35:45.056 --> 00:35:47.158
  • And i would say more than anything else.
  • 00:35:47.158 --> 00:35:48.693
  • If you're not a part of the local church, get one, find one,
  • 00:35:48.693 --> 00:35:52.630
  • Do the hard thing.
  • 00:35:52.630 --> 00:35:53.965
  • Push through your fear, push through your anxiety.
  • 00:35:53.965 --> 00:35:55.766
  • I promise, at some point you will be so glad when you look
  • 00:35:55.766 --> 00:36:00.104
  • Back and go, "i did the hard thing.
  • 00:36:00.104 --> 00:36:01.973
  • I pushed into community, and it made all the difference."
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  • Announcer: be the first to know all the latest "better
  • 00:36:06.210 --> 00:36:08.479
  • Together" updates.
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  • Never miss the latest news.
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  • [music]
  • 00:36:18.356 --> 00:36:24.161
  • Blynda: i heard someone say that there's four things that you
  • 00:36:24.161 --> 00:36:26.931
  • Should always do with your parents, especially if you're
  • 00:36:26.931 --> 00:36:30.534
  • Like me and my parents, my mom is older.
  • 00:36:30.534 --> 00:36:32.570
  • There's four things they wanna hear from you every day or
  • 00:36:32.570 --> 00:36:34.705
  • Whenever you talk.
  • 00:36:34.705 --> 00:36:36.040
  • They wanna know you're healthy, they wanna know you're happy,
  • 00:36:36.040 --> 00:36:38.709
  • And then they wanna know that you love them and that you
  • 00:36:38.709 --> 00:36:41.212
  • Appreciate them.
  • 00:36:41.212 --> 00:36:42.580
  • If you tell them those things all the time, your relationship
  • 00:36:42.580 --> 00:36:44.615
  • Will continue to grow.
  • 00:36:44.615 --> 00:36:45.983
  • I think one thing you could add to that as you're asking those
  • 00:36:45.983 --> 00:36:49.053
  • Things, and you're telling them i'm happy, mom, i'm healthy.
  • 00:36:49.053 --> 00:36:52.390
  • I appreciate you, and i love you.
  • 00:36:52.390 --> 00:36:53.758
  • I think one thing you could add to that is, is there anything in
  • 00:36:53.758 --> 00:36:56.260
  • Your life that i can pray for?
  • 00:36:56.260 --> 00:36:57.962
  • How are you doing spiritually?
  • 00:36:57.962 --> 00:36:59.463
  • Is there anything in your relationship with the lord you
  • 00:36:59.463 --> 00:37:01.432
  • Wanna talk about?
  • 00:37:01.432 --> 00:37:02.800
  • This is kind of an interesting role reversal that you would be
  • 00:37:02.800 --> 00:37:05.269
  • Asking your older parent that, but i think it could be really a
  • 00:37:05.269 --> 00:37:08.873
  • Sweet way to connect you even more than you already are is to
  • 00:37:08.873 --> 00:37:13.711
  • See them as someone that is still growing in the lord and to
  • 00:37:13.711 --> 00:37:16.981
  • Encourage them just like they've encouraged you.
  • 00:37:16.981 --> 00:37:20.084
  • [music]
  • 00:37:20.084 --> 00:37:23.587
  • Rachel: i think, too, we're in a loneliness epidemic, and, you
  • 00:37:23.587 --> 00:37:28.025
  • Know, i heard a statistic this past week that loneliness is the
  • 00:37:28.025 --> 00:37:32.163
  • Equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
  • 00:37:32.163 --> 00:37:35.499
  • And i was like, are you serious?
  • 00:37:35.499 --> 00:37:37.501
  • I mean, that was just so mind-blowing to me, and
  • 00:37:37.501 --> 00:37:40.171
  • I think--
  • 00:37:40.171 --> 00:37:41.539
  • Blynda: like the effects on your health?
  • 00:37:41.539 --> 00:37:42.873
  • Rachel: yeah, the effect on your health of loneliness.
  • 00:37:42.873 --> 00:37:44.241
  • And so, you know, he sets the lonely in families.
  • 00:37:44.241 --> 00:37:46.777
  • You mentioned that scripture earlier, and i was just thinking
  • 00:37:46.777 --> 00:37:49.046
  • About my husband was 45 and single, you know, he was single
  • 00:37:49.046 --> 00:37:52.516
  • His whole life till he was 45.
  • 00:37:52.516 --> 00:37:54.218
  • So, and he created a family.
  • 00:37:54.218 --> 00:37:56.954
  • You know, he created holidays that were meaningful and special
  • 00:37:56.954 --> 00:38:01.158
  • And invited people who didn't have a place to go.
  • 00:38:01.158 --> 00:38:04.061
  • And i'm just like, you know, if you don't have it, create it,
  • 00:38:04.061 --> 00:38:06.997
  • You know?
  • 00:38:06.997 --> 00:38:08.366
  • I mean, it's such a--because it's so important for the soul.
  • 00:38:08.366 --> 00:38:11.235
  • It's so important, and i just-- we're more connected than we've
  • 00:38:11.235 --> 00:38:16.073
  • Ever been, and yet more lonely than we've ever been.
  • 00:38:16.073 --> 00:38:19.009
  • And so you're just like, what?
  • 00:38:19.009 --> 00:38:21.379
  • How does that happen?
  • 00:38:21.379 --> 00:38:22.713
  • That didn't even make sense.
  • 00:38:22.713 --> 00:38:24.081
  • But yet family is such a good piece of it.
  • 00:38:24.081 --> 00:38:25.850
  • Michelle: and i think all too often people stay silent, and i
  • 00:38:25.850 --> 00:38:29.420
  • Think they don't want to say anything.
  • 00:38:29.420 --> 00:38:30.855
  • They don't wanna, you know, reach out, and i feel like it's
  • 00:38:30.855 --> 00:38:34.258
  • In the silence that, you know, for those who are depressed,
  • 00:38:34.258 --> 00:38:37.661
  • That it grows deeper.
  • 00:38:37.661 --> 00:38:39.230
  • You know, if you're anxious, it gets even more heightened.
  • 00:38:39.230 --> 00:38:41.932
  • If you're fearful, you get even more scared.
  • 00:38:41.932 --> 00:38:43.801
  • And the moment that you say the words, the moment that you
  • 00:38:43.801 --> 00:38:46.871
  • Release them, they become less scary.
  • 00:38:46.871 --> 00:38:49.173
  • You know, again, my sweet little girls, my ruby, at night, she'll
  • 00:38:49.173 --> 00:38:54.211
  • Be like, "mom, i'm afraid of this, i'm afraid--"
  • 00:38:54.211 --> 00:38:56.180
  • I'm like, well, what is it that you're afraid of?
  • 00:38:56.180 --> 00:38:57.815
  • Say the thing that you're afraid of.
  • 00:38:57.815 --> 00:38:59.984
  • Because the moment you say it, it no longer can be that scary,
  • 00:38:59.984 --> 00:39:03.387
  • Because we can talk about it.
  • 00:39:03.387 --> 00:39:04.989
  • And in families and in relationships, we have that
  • 00:39:04.989 --> 00:39:07.658
  • Opportunity to share one another's burdens and to say let
  • 00:39:07.658 --> 00:39:10.861
  • Me share this with you.
  • 00:39:10.861 --> 00:39:12.196
  • Let me help educate you that there isn't a monster in
  • 00:39:12.196 --> 00:39:15.666
  • Your closet.
  • 00:39:15.666 --> 00:39:17.034
  • We can look under the bed together, we can do
  • 00:39:17.034 --> 00:39:18.369
  • This together.
  • 00:39:18.369 --> 00:39:19.703
  • And so if you have a friend or somebody who's like a family
  • 00:39:19.703 --> 00:39:22.640
  • Member to you that you need to lean on for support because your
  • 00:39:22.640 --> 00:39:25.910
  • Family might be broken, then do it, just say it.
  • 00:39:25.910 --> 00:39:28.212
  • Sheila: i think that's what paul meant when he wrote in
  • 00:39:28.212 --> 00:39:29.680
  • Galatians, "bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law
  • 00:39:29.680 --> 00:39:32.817
  • Of christ," because that greek word there for burden is like a
  • 00:39:32.817 --> 00:39:35.920
  • Ship's load.
  • 00:39:35.920 --> 00:39:37.254
  • Because two verses later he says, "but each man must carry
  • 00:39:37.254 --> 00:39:39.990
  • His own load," and i'm like, well, hang on a minute.
  • 00:39:39.990 --> 00:39:42.593
  • But they're two totally different words.
  • 00:39:42.593 --> 00:39:44.595
  • It's like you walk through situations where it's just too
  • 00:39:44.595 --> 00:39:46.864
  • Much, you know, and we're not supposed to do life by
  • 00:39:46.864 --> 00:39:49.066
  • Ourselves, that we need someone you can reach out to and say i'm
  • 00:39:49.066 --> 00:39:51.702
  • Not doing so great, would you pray for me here?
  • 00:39:51.702 --> 00:39:54.472
  • And i mean, we all still carry our own stuff, but there's times
  • 00:39:54.472 --> 00:39:58.242
  • When it's just too much.
  • 00:39:58.242 --> 00:40:01.045
  • Michelle: god has placed such a high importance on family, and
  • 00:40:01.045 --> 00:40:04.014
  • It's because this life is hard.
  • 00:40:04.014 --> 00:40:06.383
  • The things that we go through are difficult, and it's
  • 00:40:06.383 --> 00:40:09.053
  • Difficult to go through on our own.
  • 00:40:09.053 --> 00:40:11.188
  • You know, we can't just carry all these burdens by ourselves.
  • 00:40:11.188 --> 00:40:16.026
  • We're meant to share the load with each other.
  • 00:40:16.026 --> 00:40:18.662
  • And so god placing such a high importance on our family unit is
  • 00:40:18.662 --> 00:40:23.033
  • Really just evidence of that.
  • 00:40:23.033 --> 00:40:24.401
  • And so, you might be facing a hardship, and you're not sure
  • 00:40:24.401 --> 00:40:27.538
  • Which way to turn.
  • 00:40:27.538 --> 00:40:28.906
  • Turn to a family member.
  • 00:40:28.906 --> 00:40:30.274
  • And if you don't have a family member, turn to, like, a member
  • 00:40:30.274 --> 00:40:32.543
  • Of the family of god.
  • 00:40:32.543 --> 00:40:34.044
  • That is who we're meant to share our burdens with.
  • 00:40:34.044 --> 00:40:37.181
  • Sheila: plus, there's something, it does something in you when
  • 00:40:37.181 --> 00:40:39.316
  • You make yourself vulnerable to say--because before my life
  • 00:40:39.316 --> 00:40:43.554
  • Crashed when i was 34, if you needed anything, i would get it
  • 00:40:43.554 --> 00:40:47.925
  • For you 10 minutes ago.
  • 00:40:47.925 --> 00:40:49.293
  • I mean, but i would have the hardest time in the world asking
  • 00:40:49.293 --> 00:40:52.997
  • For anything for myself, because i wanted to be useful so that
  • 00:40:52.997 --> 00:40:56.100
  • God wouldn't stop loving me.
  • 00:40:56.100 --> 00:40:57.968
  • And when my life kind of crashed, i realized that i'd
  • 00:40:57.968 --> 00:41:00.571
  • Joined those who, as my friend brennan manning said, whose
  • 00:41:00.571 --> 00:41:04.074
  • Cheese kept falling off their crackers, you know, people who
  • 00:41:04.074 --> 00:41:07.545
  • Loved god and didn't have all the answers, but the truth is
  • 00:41:07.545 --> 00:41:09.847
  • That's all of us.
  • 00:41:09.847 --> 00:41:11.482
  • And some of us look more like we've got it all together, but
  • 00:41:11.482 --> 00:41:13.951
  • We're all on this journey home.
  • 00:41:13.951 --> 00:41:16.120
  • And christ has promised that he will never leave us.
  • 00:41:16.120 --> 00:41:19.189
  • I love in hebrews where it says--if you look at the actual
  • 00:41:19.189 --> 00:41:22.159
  • Language, never will i leave you.
  • 00:41:22.159 --> 00:41:23.928
  • No, seriously, i mean it, not never, i mean <it's> like five
  • 00:41:23.928 --> 00:41:27.498
  • Negatives, you know?
  • 00:41:27.498 --> 00:41:30.000
  • Do you get it, do you get it?
  • 00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:31.335
  • I will never, ever, ever leave you.
  • 00:41:31.335 --> 00:41:33.871
  • Blynda: i think it's really important to create spaces of
  • 00:41:33.871 --> 00:41:36.206
  • Vulnerability for people in your family or in circles of
  • 00:41:36.206 --> 00:41:40.344
  • Relationship that you have, because i think it's really hard
  • 00:41:40.344 --> 00:41:43.514
  • For people to share their hurting or broken hearts, but i
  • 00:41:43.514 --> 00:41:46.650
  • Think it's so important that we create kind of a no judgment
  • 00:41:46.650 --> 00:41:50.220
  • Zone with this safety net of grace that they can fall into.
  • 00:41:50.220 --> 00:41:54.224
  • I think so often people feel like they have to put on a mask
  • 00:41:54.224 --> 00:41:58.562
  • Of perfection, and if we can be a safe place to land for people,
  • 00:41:58.562 --> 00:42:02.933
  • We'll find that we'll be around people more often that can open
  • 00:42:02.933 --> 00:42:06.403
  • Up and share their vulnerable parts of their heart because
  • 00:42:06.403 --> 00:42:10.140
  • They know that with us there's love, there's grace, there's
  • 00:42:10.140 --> 00:42:13.844
  • Kindness, and there's patience, and i think that's what god asks
  • 00:42:13.844 --> 00:42:16.380
  • Of us.
  • 00:42:16.380 --> 00:42:17.715
  • Blynda: but i love the idea that we're even expanding the family
  • 00:42:17.715 --> 00:42:21.952
  • Term to the people of god, because, like my sister,
  • 00:42:21.952 --> 00:42:26.790
  • Sometimes even we may have a great family but proximity keeps
  • 00:42:26.790 --> 00:42:29.760
  • You from being able to actually meet felt needs, like
  • 00:42:29.760 --> 00:42:32.529
  • Real needs.
  • 00:42:32.529 --> 00:42:33.864
  • And so my sister, when my sister's husband was diagnosed 2
  • 00:42:33.864 --> 00:42:36.767
  • Years ago with stage 4 colorectal cancer, they live in
  • 00:42:36.767 --> 00:42:39.570
  • Frisco, which isn't, you may not know dallas, texas if you're
  • 00:42:39.570 --> 00:42:42.640
  • Listening, but it's not that far away, but it'd be really hard
  • 00:42:42.640 --> 00:42:46.610
  • For me to be there all the time for my sister, and my sister was
  • 00:42:46.610 --> 00:42:50.114
  • Really connected in her church, and so she comes home from the
  • 00:42:50.114 --> 00:42:55.352
  • Hospital with her husband who now has an ostomy, has been
  • 00:42:55.352 --> 00:42:58.489
  • Given a year to live.
  • 00:42:58.489 --> 00:42:59.823
  • I mean, it's been a traumatic, terrible experience, and
  • 00:42:59.823 --> 00:43:02.726
  • Thankfully he's on year--he's like 2 1/2 years in when he was
  • 00:43:02.726 --> 00:43:06.196
  • Given less than a year to live, so the lord's doing an
  • 00:43:06.196 --> 00:43:08.165
  • Amazing work.
  • 00:43:08.165 --> 00:43:09.500
  • Thank you jesus.
  • 00:43:09.500 --> 00:43:10.868
  • But for her, they came home from the hospital, and her friends
  • 00:43:10.868 --> 00:43:14.905
  • Who had already been around her at the hospital, you know, he's
  • 00:43:14.905 --> 00:43:17.908
  • In surgery, he's recovering but she's in the waiting room, and
  • 00:43:17.908 --> 00:43:20.444
  • So it was a revolving door, you know, we were all there with
  • 00:43:20.444 --> 00:43:23.047
  • Her, but her friends never left her side either, and they're all
  • 00:43:23.047 --> 00:43:26.417
  • Asking me, you know, how can we help?
  • 00:43:26.417 --> 00:43:27.918
  • What can we do?
  • 00:43:27.918 --> 00:43:29.253
  • She gets home, and you know, she's--you know, her life's
  • 00:43:29.253 --> 00:43:33.090
  • Kind of upside down, so probably when they left the house and had
  • 00:43:33.090 --> 00:43:36.860
  • The emergency at the hospital, you know, her house wasn't
  • 00:43:36.860 --> 00:43:38.696
  • Clean, and you know, things weren't--and so the idea of
  • 00:43:38.696 --> 00:43:41.765
  • People coming in and kind of seeing that moment, it was like
  • 00:43:41.765 --> 00:43:46.170
  • No way, she never would have.
  • 00:43:46.170 --> 00:43:47.771
  • But in that desperate moment, it was, okay, i'll kind of receive
  • 00:43:47.771 --> 00:43:51.008
  • Any help i can.
  • 00:43:51.008 --> 00:43:52.476
  • In a normal moment, she wouldn't have.
  • 00:43:52.476 --> 00:43:54.211
  • And she comes home to a refrigerator stocked full of
  • 00:43:54.211 --> 00:43:59.950
  • Groceries, a pantry stocked full of groceries, laundry done, like
  • 00:43:59.950 --> 00:44:04.788
  • Her friends had come in and just rallied and set them up, put
  • 00:44:04.788 --> 00:44:08.959
  • Them on a meal train.
  • 00:44:08.959 --> 00:44:10.327
  • I mean it was just--and i watched just the hands and feet
  • 00:44:10.327 --> 00:44:13.163
  • Of jesus happen right there.
  • 00:44:13.163 --> 00:44:15.099
  • And of course, as family, we're meeting all the needs we can,
  • 00:44:15.099 --> 00:44:18.068
  • We're carrying it, though, also, because he's our brother.
  • 00:44:18.068 --> 00:44:20.237
  • I mean, this is our family, so we're devastated as well.
  • 00:44:20.237 --> 00:44:24.007
  • And it's we actually needed the family of god to come in and
  • 00:44:24.007 --> 00:44:28.112
  • Hold our arms up a little.
  • 00:44:28.112 --> 00:44:29.480
  • So sometimes it may be that you don't recognize that god is
  • 00:44:29.480 --> 00:44:35.052
  • Needing you to step up, to go arm in arm with somebody.
  • 00:44:35.052 --> 00:44:39.256
  • Like you meeting these needs of the widows, like there's
  • 00:44:39.256 --> 00:44:42.493
  • Somebody who's thinking i don't know that i have any value, what
  • 00:44:42.493 --> 00:44:47.464
  • Can i offer?
  • 00:44:47.464 --> 00:44:48.932
  • You, you can do something.
  • 00:44:48.932 --> 00:44:50.834
  • Laurie: and normally it's what you need.
  • 00:44:50.834 --> 00:44:52.402
  • Blynda: yes, very often.
  • 00:44:52.402 --> 00:44:53.771
  • Laurie: a lot of times when, you know, if you need a friend, you
  • 00:44:53.771 --> 00:44:56.707
  • Need to be a friend, you know, step out and do something if
  • 00:44:56.707 --> 00:45:00.110
  • You're needing something.
  • 00:45:00.110 --> 00:45:01.478
  • The bible says give, and it shall be given and a lot of
  • 00:45:01.478 --> 00:45:04.882
  • Times we think that's about money.
  • 00:45:04.882 --> 00:45:07.084
  • But that's about kind of everything, everything.
  • 00:45:07.084 --> 00:45:10.554
  • If you need friendship, show yourself friendly.
  • 00:45:10.554 --> 00:45:13.290
  • You know, if you need some love, show some love to people, grace,
  • 00:45:13.290 --> 00:45:18.362
  • Give grace away.
  • 00:45:18.362 --> 00:45:19.696
  • Blynda: because there's no shortage of needs.
  • 00:45:19.696 --> 00:45:21.064
  • Laurie: no, no, and sometimes we're the answer to our
  • 00:45:21.064 --> 00:45:23.667
  • Own prayer.
  • 00:45:23.667 --> 00:45:25.502
  • If god sends someone, and then all of a sudden you realize
  • 00:45:25.502 --> 00:45:28.372
  • That's fulfilled in your life somehow, you just think, man,
  • 00:45:28.372 --> 00:45:31.375
  • That just took that step of obedience and that faithfulness.
  • 00:45:31.375 --> 00:45:35.512
  • If we stay faithful, that's who god is, but sometimes our
  • 00:45:35.512 --> 00:45:40.350
  • Obedience is just taking that next faithful step of what i
  • 00:45:40.350 --> 00:45:44.822
  • Know to do right, you know?
  • 00:45:44.822 --> 00:45:47.658
  • And to reach out to others and be mercy and be grace and be the
  • 00:45:47.658 --> 00:45:54.031
  • Answer to somebody else's prayer.
  • 00:45:54.031 --> 00:45:56.333
  • Sheila: that's the whole theme of our show, isn't it?
  • 00:45:56.333 --> 00:45:58.602
  • Better together.
  • 00:45:58.602 --> 00:45:59.937
  • Laurie: pretty much.
  • 00:45:59.937 --> 00:46:01.305
  • Sheila: that's why i love that jan put that vision in your
  • 00:46:01.305 --> 00:46:04.842
  • Heart, that call in your heart, and that matt saw a vision of
  • 00:46:04.842 --> 00:46:08.579
  • What this should be.
  • 00:46:08.579 --> 00:46:09.947
  • And, like, the thing i love is like we've got sisters in south
  • 00:46:09.947 --> 00:46:13.283
  • Africa who never miss the show.
  • 00:46:13.283 --> 00:46:15.519
  • First time i was there, we were like, oh, we know you, we see
  • 00:46:15.519 --> 00:46:17.621
  • "better together," and it's just--that's a beautiful thing
  • 00:46:17.621 --> 00:46:21.558
  • That we get to share our lives together with sisters all over
  • 00:46:21.558 --> 00:46:24.027
  • The world.
  • 00:46:24.027 --> 00:46:25.762
  • Rachel: i will say that my family, they didn't move in with
  • 00:46:25.762 --> 00:46:31.368
  • Me, but they would have had i needed them to, but i really
  • 00:46:31.368 --> 00:46:35.806
  • Experienced the love of god through my family's support
  • 00:46:35.806 --> 00:46:38.542
  • After my husband died.
  • 00:46:38.542 --> 00:46:39.910
  • My mom providentially had just retired from teaching after
  • 00:46:39.910 --> 00:46:43.380
  • 34 years.
  • 00:46:43.380 --> 00:46:45.549
  • She was retiring one month after my husband passed away.
  • 00:46:45.549 --> 00:46:48.252
  • And so i just saw the lord providing ways of support for me
  • 00:46:48.252 --> 00:46:54.191
  • And my children, because i was completely overwhelmed with a
  • 00:46:54.191 --> 00:46:57.094
  • Baby and a two year old, and my parents were there anytime i
  • 00:46:57.094 --> 00:47:01.665
  • Needed them and providing, you know, not only physical support
  • 00:47:01.665 --> 00:47:06.169
  • In the home, but my mom would do the hard things when she
  • 00:47:06.169 --> 00:47:08.705
  • Was there.
  • 00:47:08.705 --> 00:47:10.040
  • She would wash the clothes, she'd clean the house, she would
  • 00:47:10.040 --> 00:47:12.342
  • Physically work so that i could just be with my kids.
  • 00:47:12.342 --> 00:47:16.313
  • And i'm still, to this day, so grateful for that.
  • 00:47:16.313 --> 00:47:20.450
  • Michelle: well, and i think, you know, god's designed us this
  • 00:47:20.450 --> 00:47:22.653
  • Way, that he's designed us to need each other, that, you know,
  • 00:47:22.653 --> 00:47:26.223
  • Because we're not meant to do it on our own, that, you know, i
  • 00:47:26.223 --> 00:47:29.226
  • Think oftentimes people say, oh, well, you know, so-and-so's
  • 00:47:29.226 --> 00:47:32.863
  • Busy, or it's like just reach out.
  • 00:47:32.863 --> 00:47:36.099
  • If someone--if god puts someone on your heart, send them a quick
  • 00:47:36.099 --> 00:47:39.169
  • Text, send them a, you know, a quick little i'm thinking of
  • 00:47:39.169 --> 00:47:41.872
  • You, and i promise you it will make their day, because, you
  • 00:47:41.872 --> 00:47:45.208
  • Know, we're all, to your point, we're lonelier than we've ever
  • 00:47:45.208 --> 00:47:48.045
  • Been and yet more connected.
  • 00:47:48.045 --> 00:47:49.579
  • And so, you know, i think if you get those moments, a little--if
  • 00:47:49.579 --> 00:47:54.084
  • Someone's name pops up, if you aren't sure if you're hearing
  • 00:47:54.084 --> 00:47:56.453
  • From the lord, that's a good time to, like, send them a text
  • 00:47:56.453 --> 00:47:58.889
  • And be like i don't know what you got going on, but i just
  • 00:47:58.889 --> 00:48:01.325
  • Want to know that, you know, i love you, and i'm praying for
  • 00:48:01.325 --> 00:48:03.193
  • You today.
  • 00:48:03.193 --> 00:48:04.561
  • And i think, you know, it goes a long way in showing support
  • 00:48:04.561 --> 00:48:07.597
  • However you can, when you can.
  • 00:48:07.597 --> 00:48:09.399
  • You know, it's not always, you know, sometimes it's really big,
  • 00:48:09.399 --> 00:48:12.536
  • And it's, you know, a whole house, and it's a whole team
  • 00:48:12.536 --> 00:48:14.905
  • Rallying, but sometimes it is just a quick text.
  • 00:48:14.905 --> 00:48:17.441
  • It is just something to let people know that, you know, we
  • 00:48:17.441 --> 00:48:20.844
  • See you.
  • 00:48:20.844 --> 00:48:22.179
  • We see you right where you are.
  • 00:48:22.179 --> 00:48:23.513
  • Sheila: yeah, that's beautiful.
  • 00:48:23.513 --> 00:48:25.115
  • Blynda: i've gotten into the habit where, you know, i hate to
  • 00:48:25.115 --> 00:48:28.352
  • Admit this, but there had been times when we would be--todd
  • 00:48:28.352 --> 00:48:31.555
  • Would be talking to friends, and it would be, you know, hey, i'll
  • 00:48:31.555 --> 00:48:34.157
  • Pray for you, i'll pray for you, and then i would realize, oh
  • 00:48:34.157 --> 00:48:37.027
  • Wait, i forgot to pray, and so i would--i've gotten now where i
  • 00:48:37.027 --> 00:48:40.263
  • Will just put the prayer in text, you know, and i will send
  • 00:48:40.263 --> 00:48:43.700
  • It right then and say, you know?
  • 00:48:43.700 --> 00:48:46.069
  • So just a practical way, as we're ending and going
  • 00:48:46.069 --> 00:48:48.472
  • Into prayer.
  • 00:48:48.472 --> 00:48:49.806
  • You know, when you say you're gonna pray for someone, just do
  • 00:48:49.806 --> 00:48:51.408
  • It right then.
  • 00:48:51.408 --> 00:48:53.176
  • Michelle: that's a good word.
  • 00:48:53.176 --> 00:48:54.511
  • All right, well, if i could, i'm gonna pray for us and for
  • 00:48:54.511 --> 00:48:57.681
  • Everyone else watching.
  • 00:48:57.681 --> 00:48:59.049
  • Lord, we just thank you for this time.
  • 00:48:59.049 --> 00:49:01.051
  • We just thank you for the opportunity to come together,
  • 00:49:01.051 --> 00:49:03.854
  • Lord, and just to share our hearts and to share what it is
  • 00:49:03.854 --> 00:49:06.957
  • We're going through and how you have made an impact on
  • 00:49:06.957 --> 00:49:10.160
  • Our lives.
  • 00:49:10.160 --> 00:49:11.495
  • God, the families that are represented here and those that
  • 00:49:11.495 --> 00:49:14.231
  • Are watching online, god, i just ask that you would be present
  • 00:49:14.231 --> 00:49:17.768
  • For them, that they would feel your presence wherever they are.
  • 00:49:17.768 --> 00:49:22.005
  • God, you know every need that they have, and i just ask that
  • 00:49:22.005 --> 00:49:24.908
  • You would bring it to them as they need it.
  • 00:49:24.908 --> 00:49:27.944
  • Father, through friends, through family, through the body of
  • 00:49:27.944 --> 00:49:30.981
  • Christ, lord, help each and every person who is on the other
  • 00:49:30.981 --> 00:49:34.718
  • Side get to where you need them to be, father.
  • 00:49:34.718 --> 00:49:38.021
  • We just are so grateful for our families that we do have, and
  • 00:49:38.021 --> 00:49:42.392
  • Help us to show love, help us to be the hands and feet of jesus
  • 00:49:42.392 --> 00:49:46.430
  • To our family each and every day, lord.
  • 00:49:46.430 --> 00:49:48.865
  • It's such a gift to be able to impact those around us and the
  • 00:49:48.865 --> 00:49:52.636
  • Next generation, father.
  • 00:49:52.636 --> 00:49:54.838
  • Help us to be a witness wherever we go.
  • 00:49:54.838 --> 00:49:56.740
  • And it's in your name we pray, amen.
  • 00:49:56.740 --> 00:50:01.478
  • Announcer: connect with us on social media and let us know how
  • 00:50:01.478 --> 00:50:03.914
  • Our team can pray for you.
  • 00:50:03.914 --> 00:50:07.350
  • Laurie: i think with our children, we can remind them who
  • 00:50:07.350 --> 00:50:10.520
  • They are in christ.
  • 00:50:10.520 --> 00:50:11.855
  • They're not grandkids to god, they are children of god, and
  • 00:50:11.855 --> 00:50:16.093
  • Jesus paid the price for them, and every season of their life
  • 00:50:16.093 --> 00:50:19.596
  • They can come out victorious that god is with them, god is
  • 00:50:19.596 --> 00:50:23.066
  • For them, god is there to be the peace in the storm.
  • 00:50:23.066 --> 00:50:28.839
  • He's there to still their troubled little minds, to keep
  • 00:50:28.839 --> 00:50:33.009
  • Them at peace that passes all understanding.
  • 00:50:33.009 --> 00:50:35.345
  • It's theirs because jesus paid for it at the cross, and he did
  • 00:50:35.345 --> 00:50:39.382
  • It for them.
  • 00:50:39.382 --> 00:50:41.685
  • Announcer: be the first to know all the latest "better
  • 00:50:41.685 --> 00:50:43.954
  • Together" updates.
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  • [music]
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