Better Together

How God Equips Moms | Better Together Episode 1161

May 4, 2026 | S8 E1161 | 50:59

The societal pressure to get motherhood “right” can feel overwhelming, but God has a better way! He created you to be the mom for your baby and will equip you with the wisdom and strength to raise your children. Everything that you need is found in Him! | TBN Prayer Line: 714-731-1000

#Mother #Faith #Parenting #Encouragement #Prayer #Wisdom #Family #Children #HolySpirit #SpiritualGrowth #Hope #Strength #Surrender #Stewardship #Guilt #UnwedMothers #PersonalStory #Anointing #Help #Generations #IdentityinChrist #Adoption #SocialMedia #TrustGod #LaurieCrouch #HollyWagner #DeeDeeFreeman #DebraFileta

Closed captions

Show Timecode

Better Together | How God Equips Moms | Better Together Episode 1161 | May 4, 2026

Dear mom, god has equipped you for everything you're facing
00:00:00.557 --> 00:00:04.194
Right now.
00:00:00.557 --> 00:00:05.462
When you feel inadequate or wonder if you're being a good
00:00:05.462 --> 00:00:07.664
Mom, get ready to see god's
00:00:07.664 --> 00:00:09.532
Wisdom and his provision in action.
00:00:09.532 --> 00:00:11.468
Come on, let's talk about it.
00:00:11.468 --> 00:00:13.103
♪♪
00:00:13.103 --> 00:00:41.231
You know, there was a season in my life being a mother
00:00:41.231 --> 00:00:45.702
That was quite interesting.
00:00:45.702 --> 00:00:48.538
Only one? do tell.
00:00:48.538 --> 00:00:50.073
Well, it was, it was several
00:00:50.073 --> 00:00:52.709
But one really stands out the most.
00:00:52.709 --> 00:00:55.245
And i'll share that in a bit.
00:00:55.245 --> 00:00:57.614
But i think about being a mother,
00:00:57.614 --> 00:00:59.883
How unequipped, you know, i happened to be.
00:00:59.883 --> 00:01:04.154
I was very uninformed, even though being raised with a
00:01:04.154 --> 00:01:08.391
Mother, i still didn't see what i believed that a mother should
00:01:08.391 --> 00:01:14.764
Have, you know, seen or been taught, you know,
00:01:14.764 --> 00:01:18.401
Things growing up.
00:01:18.401 --> 00:01:20.136
And so when i became a mother, it was so intimidating for me.
00:01:20.136 --> 00:01:25.842
It was like i was so stretched to grow and had to learn
00:01:25.842 --> 00:01:30.113
A lot of things.
00:01:30.113 --> 00:01:31.581
I think on-the-job training, if you will, because a lot of
00:01:31.581 --> 00:01:35.852
Things that my mom probably dealt with, i didn't deal with,
00:01:35.852 --> 00:01:39.222
And then i didn't always have
00:01:39.222 --> 00:01:42.225
The confidence as an individual.
00:01:42.225 --> 00:01:44.661
So now when i take it over into
00:01:44.661 --> 00:01:46.729
Being a mother, i had a lot of insecurities.
00:01:46.729 --> 00:01:49.532
And so i was a little unsure about this whole mothering, but
00:01:49.532 --> 00:01:53.603
I was excited about being a mother.
00:01:53.603 --> 00:01:55.805
And i remember the incident that really, i think stood out
00:01:55.805 --> 00:02:00.109
For me the most is when i had my youngest child.
00:02:00.109 --> 00:02:05.181
Breland was the most challenging child.
00:02:05.181 --> 00:02:09.552
I love her.
00:02:09.552 --> 00:02:10.853
Don't you be talking bad about breland right now, because i'm
00:02:10.853 --> 00:02:13.356
Very biased toward breland.
00:02:13.356 --> 00:02:14.757
I know, but when i tell you
00:02:14.757 --> 00:02:17.026
She gave me a run for my money, honey.
00:02:17.026 --> 00:02:19.829
But i remember when she probably was about eight,
00:02:19.829 --> 00:02:24.200
I used to have to get her so much because she was, to me, so
00:02:24.200 --> 00:02:28.538
Defiant, so strong, so opinionated.
00:02:28.538 --> 00:02:32.575
I mean, always wanted to have something to say or just
00:02:32.575 --> 00:02:37.213
Always just different.
00:02:37.213 --> 00:02:39.048
Because brittany was so perfect.
00:02:39.048 --> 00:02:40.316
That's the oldest.
00:02:40.316 --> 00:02:41.117
Brittany was just so perfect.
00:02:41.117 --> 00:02:42.752
So then when you had these two girls, you're thinking, she's
00:02:42.752 --> 00:02:44.921
Supposed to be the same way, right?
00:02:44.921 --> 00:02:47.156
But i remember just trying to break her, trying to prove to
00:02:47.156 --> 00:02:52.028
Her like i'm in charge.
00:02:52.028 --> 00:02:55.131
I'm the mother here, and holy spirit had to get me.
00:02:55.131 --> 00:02:59.302
I remember hearing god tell me that i was about to destroy
00:02:59.302 --> 00:03:04.340
Something in her that she would need later in life.
00:03:04.340 --> 00:03:08.077
And i'm like, what?
00:03:08.077 --> 00:03:09.712
He said, yeah, you are about to create another you.
00:03:09.712 --> 00:03:13.716
Because i was so insecure because i was so
00:03:13.716 --> 00:03:17.287
Intimidated growing up,
00:03:17.287 --> 00:03:18.921
I was about to break that and make her that again.
00:03:18.921 --> 00:03:23.192
And i just didn't get it at the time, but i had to go
00:03:23.192 --> 00:03:26.029
And apologize to her.
00:03:26.029 --> 00:03:27.297
I'm like, who apologizes to an eight year old?
00:03:27.297 --> 00:03:30.066
Right? because here again, i mean, i never saw that.
00:03:30.066 --> 00:03:33.102
And so i had to go and apologized to her.
00:03:33.102 --> 00:03:35.505
And i told her, i said, i'm going to work with you.
00:03:35.505 --> 00:03:38.675
I said, god is going to lead me in how to raise you correctly.
00:03:38.675 --> 00:03:42.912
And when i look at her today-- mhm.
00:03:42.912 --> 00:03:45.648
Wow. yes.
00:03:45.648 --> 00:03:47.583
See? she's amazing.
00:03:47.583 --> 00:03:49.919
She's amazing. mhm.
00:03:49.919 --> 00:03:52.522
Look what the lord has done.
00:03:52.522 --> 00:03:53.923
Yes. i'm really so proud of her.
00:03:53.923 --> 00:03:56.225
And just to be able to see her boldness.
00:03:56.225 --> 00:03:59.228
Yeah.
00:03:59.228 --> 00:04:00.363
How she stands and ministers the word and travels.
00:04:00.363 --> 00:04:04.500
It's like i would have never wanted to mess that up.
00:04:04.500 --> 00:04:08.805
You know, i don't know that we can avoid projecting all our
00:04:08.805 --> 00:04:12.241
Issues onto our children, because at some point, it's
00:04:12.241 --> 00:04:15.478
Inevitably going to happen.
00:04:15.478 --> 00:04:16.879
I know that as a counselor, i see it in the life of my
00:04:16.879 --> 00:04:19.916
Clients, and i even see it in my own life.
00:04:19.916 --> 00:04:22.518
I think the key, though, is that when it happens, we have
00:04:22.518 --> 00:04:25.755
Insight and awareness.
00:04:25.755 --> 00:04:27.557
We can stop and pull back and say, okay, wait, this wasn't
00:04:27.557 --> 00:04:30.927
Actually about that.
00:04:30.927 --> 00:04:33.096
This is about what's going on inside of me.
00:04:33.096 --> 00:04:34.931
This is about what god is doing inside of me.
00:04:34.931 --> 00:04:38.301
And so i think the most important part is that we stop,
00:04:38.301 --> 00:04:42.572
Have insight and then do it differently, that we learn to
00:04:42.572 --> 00:04:46.576
Respond better, that we learn to apologize, that we learn to
00:04:46.576 --> 00:04:50.480
Recognize the patterns when they come up and start
00:04:50.480 --> 00:04:53.449
To change them.
00:04:53.449 --> 00:04:54.884
Sometimes parenting brings out those things in us that god
00:04:54.884 --> 00:04:59.122
Wants to heal.
00:04:59.122 --> 00:05:00.556
And it's important for us to respond when he reveals what
00:05:00.556 --> 00:05:03.793
He wants to heal.
00:05:03.793 --> 00:05:05.995
A lot of times we look at parenting like we have to be
00:05:05.995 --> 00:05:09.732
Perfect, and god is telling us all the time, you don't
00:05:09.732 --> 00:05:12.535
Have to be perfect.
00:05:12.535 --> 00:05:14.237
Just be present.
00:05:14.237 --> 00:05:15.505
Yeah. and i just wasn't present.
00:05:15.505 --> 00:05:17.106
I just wanted to be perfect.
00:05:17.106 --> 00:05:18.341
I just wanted to, like, prove to her that i had this,
00:05:18.341 --> 00:05:21.811
That i got this,
00:05:21.811 --> 00:05:23.079
That i'm gonna do this the right way.
00:05:23.079 --> 00:05:25.114
You're going to listen to me.
00:05:25.114 --> 00:05:26.649
And it was like, you don't have to do that.
00:05:26.649 --> 00:05:28.384
You just be present, and i will guide you.
00:05:28.384 --> 00:05:31.354
I will lead you, and i will show you how to mother this child.
00:05:31.354 --> 00:05:36.359
And so i thank god that that turned out correctly.
00:05:36.359 --> 00:05:39.128
But there were quite a bit of times that i just, i missed it.
00:05:39.128 --> 00:05:43.733
I mean, having three amazing kids,
00:05:43.733 --> 00:05:45.501
Now i look at it and i thank god that they are who they are,
00:05:45.501 --> 00:05:49.772
You know, today.
00:05:49.772 --> 00:05:50.940
But it wasn't always easy with that last one.
00:05:50.940 --> 00:05:55.578
You know, i would just say to all the moms who strive for
00:05:55.578 --> 00:05:58.381
Perfection, i think i did that for a while.
00:05:58.381 --> 00:06:00.783
I always wanted my house clean, to everything to be picked up.
00:06:00.783 --> 00:06:04.987
And, and i remember i would hear the boys upstairs laughing
00:06:04.987 --> 00:06:08.324
With their daddy,
00:06:08.324 --> 00:06:10.326
And i thought, why am i down here?
00:06:10.326 --> 00:06:12.528
Or why am i in the laundry room when they're actually all in
00:06:12.528 --> 00:06:16.632
There having a good time and i'm missing it?
00:06:16.632 --> 00:06:18.868
I'm telling you that those times fly by so fast and you
00:06:18.868 --> 00:06:22.472
Don't have to be perfect.
00:06:22.472 --> 00:06:23.739
You don't have to have it all together.
00:06:23.739 --> 00:06:26.175
God loves you just the way you are, and i encourage you to
00:06:26.175 --> 00:06:29.812
Spend those moments with your family.
00:06:29.812 --> 00:06:32.815
Spend those precious moments with your children, get all the
00:06:32.815 --> 00:06:36.552
Giggles and get all the laughs
00:06:36.552 --> 00:06:38.020
Because it goes by so fast
00:06:38.020 --> 00:06:41.557
And i don't want you to miss a moment.
00:06:41.557 --> 00:06:45.027
Have you all ever had times where you felt intimidated, or
00:06:45.027 --> 00:06:49.198
Times that you felt challenged, that you didn't know enough
00:06:49.198 --> 00:06:53.135
About being this mom?
00:06:53.135 --> 00:06:55.304
Yeah, well, i'm so thankful that inadequacy doesn't
00:06:55.304 --> 00:07:00.076
Disqualify us as a mother, right?
00:07:00.076 --> 00:07:02.612
But we get to joint venture with god.
00:07:02.612 --> 00:07:04.514
It positions us to do something that your grace is
00:07:04.514 --> 00:07:08.317
Sufficient for me.
00:07:08.317 --> 00:07:09.519
And we're not left alone to mother by ourselves.
00:07:09.519 --> 00:07:12.255
God is with us.
00:07:12.255 --> 00:07:13.456
Holy spirit is with us, to lead
00:07:13.456 --> 00:07:15.091
Us and to guide us in all truth.
00:07:15.091 --> 00:07:16.893
And if there's anything that i need his guidance for was
00:07:16.893 --> 00:07:19.862
Raising my kids, raising my boys and feeling so
00:07:19.862 --> 00:07:24.433
Insufficient at times, and so inadequate.
00:07:24.433 --> 00:07:28.170
And young people, especially on social media, watching these
00:07:28.170 --> 00:07:31.173
Families, just these perfect mothers, perfect families.
00:07:31.173 --> 00:07:34.610
This is what we got to do today,
00:07:34.610 --> 00:07:36.379
And we got to take these walks with our family.
00:07:36.379 --> 00:07:38.814
All the glamorized things. all the pictures.
00:07:38.814 --> 00:07:41.918
All the pictures and the glamorization of what family,
00:07:41.918 --> 00:07:45.821
You know, is supposed to look like.
00:07:45.821 --> 00:07:47.757
And boy, we can feel like we really fall short of that.
00:07:47.757 --> 00:07:51.928
So true.
00:07:51.928 --> 00:07:53.095
But i'm so glad that god doesn't leave us alone to make
00:07:53.095 --> 00:07:55.298
Us feel like we have to do it by ourselves.
00:07:55.298 --> 00:07:57.199
And i think of hagar.
00:07:57.199 --> 00:07:59.569
Hagar in the bible,
00:07:59.569 --> 00:08:00.536
I could just ball when i think of hagar.
00:08:00.536 --> 00:08:02.405
Me too.
00:08:02.405 --> 00:08:03.506
Because i just think of this poor enslaved woman.
00:08:03.506 --> 00:08:07.076
And i love when god saw her and she just puts the child down.
00:08:07.076 --> 00:08:12.214
She says, i just have to give him to you.
00:08:12.214 --> 00:08:14.684
Right? she leaves the child
00:08:14.684 --> 00:08:16.152
There to die and she walks over.
00:08:16.152 --> 00:08:18.521
And then the angel of the lord appears and says, hey,
00:08:18.521 --> 00:08:21.157
I hear someone crying.
00:08:21.157 --> 00:08:22.892
And he sees her.
00:08:22.892 --> 00:08:24.427
He remembers her, you know, and he helps her.
00:08:24.427 --> 00:08:27.997
And he is there for us, the least of the likely--
00:08:27.997 --> 00:08:31.367
I love it. was hagar.
00:08:31.367 --> 00:08:32.802
Yeah. you know, and and there god shows up to help.
00:08:32.802 --> 00:08:36.806
And that's what he does for us.
00:08:36.806 --> 00:08:39.809
I think maybe for all you moms and dads who maybe are going it
00:08:39.809 --> 00:08:44.113
Alone, you're a single mom,
00:08:44.113 --> 00:08:45.181
You're a single dad,
00:08:45.181 --> 00:08:46.616
I just want you to know that god sees you and god loves you.
00:08:46.616 --> 00:08:49.986
God has everything in store for you that anybody else would.
00:08:49.986 --> 00:08:54.523
He will take care of you.
00:08:54.523 --> 00:08:56.058
He said, i'll be a father to the fatherless.
00:08:56.058 --> 00:08:58.094
That means he has it covered for you and your children.
00:08:58.094 --> 00:09:01.864
He has provision.
00:09:01.864 --> 00:09:03.032
He has care.
00:09:03.032 --> 00:09:04.467
And when you think you can't make it, i know that there are
00:09:04.467 --> 00:09:07.503
Angels that will come alongside.
00:09:07.503 --> 00:09:10.072
The holy spirit will come alongside and help you.
00:09:10.072 --> 00:09:13.242
It is a partnership with god that that leads us and guides
00:09:13.242 --> 00:09:17.980
Us and takes care of us.
00:09:17.980 --> 00:09:20.249
Because they don't come with manuals, do they?
00:09:20.249 --> 00:09:21.884
And each child is different, to your point.
00:09:21.884 --> 00:09:24.887
Yeah, each child is different.
00:09:24.887 --> 00:09:26.188
And so i remember after having jordan, when he was nine months
00:09:26.188 --> 00:09:29.892
Old, i bought the book,
00:09:29.892 --> 00:09:31.727
Whatever, the difficult kids
00:09:31.727 --> 00:09:33.095
That kind of-- raise the spirited,
00:09:33.095 --> 00:09:34.864
Spirited children.
00:09:34.864 --> 00:09:36.132
Something spirited, something like that, how to read that.
00:09:36.132 --> 00:09:37.533
And i'm like, okay, i need this book.
00:09:37.533 --> 00:09:38.734
I was like devouring it.
00:09:38.734 --> 00:09:40.036
And when i had paris, i went, i need the one that's for the
00:09:40.036 --> 00:09:42.905
Harder kid than that.
00:09:42.905 --> 00:09:44.106
It's like, just like they're both--
00:09:44.106 --> 00:09:46.509
2.0. yeah, 2.0.
00:09:46.509 --> 00:09:47.977
Because they're, they're both like hot, strong willed.
00:09:47.977 --> 00:09:50.479
That's what it was, the strong-willed child.
00:09:50.479 --> 00:09:51.914
So i need the stronger willed kids book.
00:09:51.914 --> 00:09:53.816
Yeah. yeah.
00:09:53.816 --> 00:09:55.117
Because and so, so what worked with him did not work with her.
00:09:55.117 --> 00:09:57.553
You know, like some, like with your oldest daughter, you
00:09:57.553 --> 00:09:59.655
Probably could give her a look and she would behave.
00:09:59.655 --> 00:10:02.091
And then with breelyn, she's like, oh, she gave you the
00:10:02.091 --> 00:10:04.627
Look right back. yes, totally.
00:10:04.627 --> 00:10:06.429
And so i feel like that's what i had.
00:10:06.429 --> 00:10:07.563
I'm like, okay, yeah, right.
00:10:07.563 --> 00:10:09.832
Just like, because you don't want to destroy the will
00:10:09.832 --> 00:10:12.201
Because they're going to need it, right?
00:10:12.201 --> 00:10:15.471
To say no to things that the culture will throw at them.
00:10:15.471 --> 00:10:18.441
Right, right.
00:10:18.441 --> 00:10:19.475
But you need to try to get them on the path.
00:10:19.475 --> 00:10:21.444
And, and i just realized too, that, you know, fruit doesn't
00:10:21.444 --> 00:10:24.580
Fall far from the tree, right?
00:10:24.580 --> 00:10:26.315
So here i am complaining and i realize i'm pretty sure i was
00:10:26.315 --> 00:10:31.020
That girl, right?
00:10:31.020 --> 00:10:32.288
That i was the little problematic also.
00:10:32.288 --> 00:10:35.024
I'm pretty sure i was the sassy one.
00:10:35.024 --> 00:10:37.860
So yeah, but i just think they don't come with a manual.
00:10:37.860 --> 00:10:40.696
And so to your point, laurie and yours, it's just this is where
00:10:40.696 --> 00:10:43.599
You have to ask the holy spirit
00:10:43.599 --> 00:10:45.768
To-- how do you-- help me with this child?
00:10:45.768 --> 00:10:49.305
Yeah. because you love this child more than i do.
00:10:49.305 --> 00:10:53.242
Your plan for this child is perfect, right?
00:10:53.242 --> 00:10:55.878
I don't even see it yet.
00:10:55.878 --> 00:10:57.446
So yeah, help me steer them.
00:10:57.446 --> 00:11:00.382
And you know, and when the bible, when it says that, you
00:11:00.382 --> 00:11:02.451
Know, if you train up that child, that when they're old,
00:11:02.451 --> 00:11:04.487
They won't depart from it,
00:11:04.487 --> 00:11:05.721
But it doesn't say in the middle years. it just says when
00:11:05.721 --> 00:11:07.656
They're old, right?
00:11:07.656 --> 00:11:08.924
So like, what are you doing between?
00:11:08.924 --> 00:11:10.126
It's just like those in-between seasons.
00:11:10.126 --> 00:11:11.761
And that to me, was the trust god.
00:11:11.761 --> 00:11:13.796
Sure.
00:11:13.796 --> 00:11:14.764
Right. just the trust in god with the--
00:11:14.764 --> 00:11:16.398
You said each child is so different,
00:11:16.398 --> 00:11:18.400
And there's actually a study that explains how not only is
00:11:18.400 --> 00:11:24.406
Each child different, right?
00:11:24.406 --> 00:11:26.809
But we're different with each child.
00:11:26.809 --> 00:11:29.745
Mhm.
00:11:29.745 --> 00:11:30.780
So every child in your family has a completely
00:11:30.780 --> 00:11:33.849
Different childhood. different home.
00:11:33.849 --> 00:11:35.684
Because their parents are different.
00:11:35.684 --> 00:11:37.186
For example, me parenting in my 20s versus having a baby in my
00:11:37.186 --> 00:11:43.058
Late 30s, i was a completely different mom for that baby
00:11:43.058 --> 00:11:47.062
Versus baby number one.
00:11:47.062 --> 00:11:48.964
And so i think exactly, even if you had an instruction manual,
00:11:48.964 --> 00:11:53.169
It wouldn't work. wouldn't work for number two.
00:11:53.169 --> 00:11:54.870
Okay. well, good to know.
00:11:54.870 --> 00:11:56.005
You know, and so i, i really think, and god has been
00:11:56.005 --> 00:11:59.542
Convicting me lately.
00:11:59.542 --> 00:12:01.644
You know, whenever i go speak or whenever i'm counseling, i
00:12:01.644 --> 00:12:06.649
Am so aware that i need the lord's anointing.
00:12:06.649 --> 00:12:10.486
I'm like, i want to be under your anointing.
00:12:10.486 --> 00:12:12.555
I want to be aligned with your spirit.
00:12:12.555 --> 00:12:14.990
And i just remember specifically, the lord was
00:12:14.990 --> 00:12:17.660
Like, well, couldn't you have some more of that attitude in
00:12:17.660 --> 00:12:20.663
Your home, like everyday life? wow.
00:12:20.663 --> 00:12:23.933
So i've been trying to practice this, lord, i want to be
00:12:23.933 --> 00:12:27.837
Under your anointing.
00:12:27.837 --> 00:12:29.138
I want to be aligned with your spirit today in how i interact
00:12:29.138 --> 00:12:33.108
With my kids. yeah.
00:12:33.108 --> 00:12:34.577
You know, we're a homeschooling family, so we're
00:12:34.577 --> 00:12:37.580
Around each other a lot.
00:12:37.580 --> 00:12:39.548
And i need a lot of anointing because it's like moment by
00:12:39.548 --> 00:12:43.586
Moment, frustration by
00:12:43.586 --> 00:12:45.387
Frustration, hardship by hardship.
00:12:45.387 --> 00:12:48.591
And just like, okay, even in this moment, i want to be
00:12:48.591 --> 00:12:51.427
Aligned with what you want me to say, what you want me to do.
00:12:51.427 --> 00:12:53.796
How do you want me to parent this guy?
00:12:53.796 --> 00:12:55.431
How do you want me to parent that guy?
00:12:55.431 --> 00:12:57.233
Like, it's just they're so different, and i just want to be
00:12:57.233 --> 00:13:02.071
Aligned with what he wants.
00:13:02.071 --> 00:13:03.906
And that takes intentionality
00:13:03.906 --> 00:13:05.808
Because when you wake up in the morning,
00:13:05.808 --> 00:13:07.910
I don't know about you guys, but that's not my typical like,
00:13:07.910 --> 00:13:11.113
Lord, here i am.
00:13:11.113 --> 00:13:12.281
Like, i have to get there.
00:13:12.281 --> 00:13:14.183
But when i do, i just feel like the lord just really
00:13:14.183 --> 00:13:18.053
Helps me through the day.
00:13:18.053 --> 00:13:20.756
How do we know that it's the holy spirit speaking to us
00:13:20.756 --> 00:13:24.026
In the moment?
00:13:24.026 --> 00:13:25.327
And i guess for my life, look, i don't have 100% strike rate
00:13:25.327 --> 00:13:29.899
Right now, to be honest with you.
00:13:29.899 --> 00:13:31.367
But i know the times when looking back, i know that it's
00:13:31.367 --> 00:13:35.938
Been the voice of the holy spirit. in the moment,
00:13:35.938 --> 00:13:38.941
It hasn't been a voice of shame or guilt.
00:13:38.941 --> 00:13:40.776
You shoulda, you woulda, you coulda, that kind of a voice.
00:13:40.776 --> 00:13:44.213
It doesn't put a weight on me.
00:13:44.213 --> 00:13:46.582
Even if it's the voice of conviction of the holy spirit,
00:13:46.582 --> 00:13:49.151
It's more of a, oh, i'm gonna go higher next time.
00:13:49.151 --> 00:13:52.855
I'm gonna do better next time.
00:13:52.855 --> 00:13:54.423
It's not a you are bad.
00:13:54.423 --> 00:13:56.125
So if that's the voice you're hearing, that, first of all,
00:13:56.125 --> 00:13:58.527
Is not god.
00:13:58.527 --> 00:14:00.529
And then honestly, it's usually something that i wouldn't think
00:14:00.529 --> 00:14:04.099
To do myself.
00:14:04.099 --> 00:14:05.534
It's not like elise wisdom.
00:14:05.534 --> 00:14:06.969
It's not how elise would act in a situation, because often it
00:14:06.969 --> 00:14:10.806
Is the thing that my flesh, my
00:14:10.806 --> 00:14:13.709
Body, my mind doesn't want to do.
00:14:13.709 --> 00:14:16.378
It's calling me to do something that takes self control, always
00:14:16.378 --> 00:14:20.649
Takes self control, takes
00:14:20.649 --> 00:14:22.084
Patience, takes kindness, takes love.
00:14:22.084 --> 00:14:25.087
And it does always align with this, the words in here.
00:14:25.087 --> 00:14:29.124
And so how do you know in the moment? it'll be a still small
00:14:29.124 --> 00:14:32.995
Voice, something that will probably come out of nowhere.
00:14:32.995 --> 00:14:37.833
And if you're honest and you weigh it up with the word of
00:14:37.833 --> 00:14:40.035
God, it'll align
00:14:40.035 --> 00:14:43.772
And it will give you peace after it.
00:14:43.772 --> 00:14:46.642
Those are some of the small ways in the midst of the chaos
00:14:46.642 --> 00:14:49.144
Of motherhood, that i can have check marks to say,
00:14:49.144 --> 00:14:52.414
Holy spirit, is this you?
00:14:52.414 --> 00:14:55.684
God wants us to do life
00:14:55.684 --> 00:14:57.219
Together because we are better together.
00:14:57.219 --> 00:14:59.855
So connect with us on social media and share your favorite
00:14:59.855 --> 00:15:03.258
Moments from today.
00:15:03.258 --> 00:15:04.793
We can't wait
00:15:04.793 --> 00:15:05.361
For you to join us.
00:15:05.361 --> 00:15:07.496
Let's keep the conversation going.
00:15:07.496 --> 00:15:09.698
You can find the better together podcast on your
00:15:09.698 --> 00:15:12.101
Favorite listening platform.
00:15:12.101 --> 00:15:13.902
Subscribe today.
00:15:13.902 --> 00:15:18.006
Subscribe today.
00:15:18.006 --> 00:15:18.140
I mean, many people watching maybe the show have heard about
00:15:21.744 --> 00:15:25.347
My story, whether it was like getting married and then
00:15:25.347 --> 00:15:28.517
Thinking i had it all together, getting divorced, and then
00:15:28.517 --> 00:15:32.121
Seven years of in between wondering when that's going to
00:15:32.121 --> 00:15:35.657
Happen, then meeting my husband, tim, who was a single
00:15:35.657 --> 00:15:37.993
Dad of two girls, meant that we are figuring out life as a
00:15:37.993 --> 00:15:42.931
Blended family, which today in our world is maybe more common
00:15:42.931 --> 00:15:48.203
Now than nuclear families than, you know, husband, wife,
00:15:48.203 --> 00:15:52.007
And 2.5 kids.
00:15:52.007 --> 00:15:53.575
And so there isn't-- if there wasn't an instruction manual
00:15:53.575 --> 00:15:57.212
For how to mother,
00:15:57.212 --> 00:15:58.547
There really isn't an instruction manual for how
00:15:58.547 --> 00:16:00.482
To be a stepmom.
00:16:00.482 --> 00:16:01.517
And we have majority custody of our kids.
00:16:01.517 --> 00:16:04.086
And so, um, got two daughters, zara and milan.
00:16:04.086 --> 00:16:07.790
Zara just turned eight.
00:16:07.790 --> 00:16:09.058
And then there's milan, who's five, about to go on to 25.
00:16:09.058 --> 00:16:12.494
And then our son lincoln, which we welcomed last year,
00:16:12.494 --> 00:16:15.964
Who is four months old.
00:16:15.964 --> 00:16:17.633
And so for me, when i stepped into-- i didn't just step into
00:16:17.633 --> 00:16:20.903
Marriage, i stepped into an instant family, which there is
00:16:20.903 --> 00:16:24.473
Nothing instant about it, let
00:16:24.473 --> 00:16:26.008
Me tell you that. it's instant love.
00:16:26.008 --> 00:16:28.177
Like, i loved those girls.
00:16:28.177 --> 00:16:30.012
But we got married and my husband and i stayed the night
00:16:30.012 --> 00:16:33.115
In our wedding night in a hotel.
00:16:33.115 --> 00:16:34.683
We weren't leaving for our honeymoon until the sunday.
00:16:34.683 --> 00:16:37.486
So then we came home and i remember waking up on sunday
00:16:37.486 --> 00:16:40.556
Morning, being married for 48 hours and having two girls
00:16:40.556 --> 00:16:43.525
Looking at me like, what are we having for breakfast?
00:16:43.525 --> 00:16:45.828
And i was like, oh, you guys don't make that?
00:16:45.828 --> 00:16:48.630
No. yeah.
00:16:48.630 --> 00:16:49.765
For sure. do you--
00:16:49.765 --> 00:16:50.766
Do you like coffee?
00:16:50.766 --> 00:16:52.034
Like, do you--
00:16:52.034 --> 00:16:53.502
What do we-- what do you want to do?
00:16:53.502 --> 00:16:54.770
Why is your hair not brushed? what happened there?
00:16:54.770 --> 00:16:56.738
Like, well, you brush my hair. and just this instant
00:16:56.738 --> 00:16:59.608
Realization of like, oh my goodness. like what?
00:16:59.608 --> 00:17:04.313
In a, in a sense, what have i gotten myself into
00:17:04.313 --> 00:17:07.149
In so many ways?
00:17:07.149 --> 00:17:08.317
And so there are so many moments of me just completely
00:17:08.317 --> 00:17:12.588
Feeling ill equipped.
00:17:12.588 --> 00:17:13.822
And then i would go to the place where we get our wisdom.
00:17:13.822 --> 00:17:17.860
And that was instagram.
00:17:17.860 --> 00:17:19.528
And i would scroll and see these pinterest quotey,
00:17:19.528 --> 00:17:25.000
You've got this mama thing, and i get it, but i've just found
00:17:25.000 --> 00:17:30.372
The more i've tried to got this, the less i have this and
00:17:30.372 --> 00:17:34.977
The more i come to jesus and say, i don't--
00:17:34.977 --> 00:17:38.180
You don't got this. i think you got the wrong girl.
00:17:38.180 --> 00:17:40.382
Mhm. like, i'm hiding in my pantry.
00:17:40.382 --> 00:17:42.918
And they keep asking me for dinner every night, or they're
00:17:42.918 --> 00:17:47.089
Crying and telling me they don't want me to be a part of
00:17:47.089 --> 00:17:50.125
This family because they're little girls that don't
00:17:50.125 --> 00:17:52.828
Understand emotions.
00:17:52.828 --> 00:17:54.129
Or i did this wrong again, or i yelled at them and i didn't
00:17:54.129 --> 00:17:57.466
Even birth them.
00:17:57.466 --> 00:17:58.834
So many moments where i go, why am i like this?
00:17:58.834 --> 00:18:01.837
My own humanity, my own fragility,
00:18:01.837 --> 00:18:04.506
My own inadequacy,
00:18:04.506 --> 00:18:07.442
That his grace has come into those moments and said, now i
00:18:07.442 --> 00:18:11.880
Can help you. when you got this,
00:18:11.880 --> 00:18:14.449
You don't need me. right?
00:18:14.449 --> 00:18:16.151
When you come to me and say, i
00:18:16.151 --> 00:18:17.953
Don't have this, i have just found
00:18:17.953 --> 00:18:21.356
Not only does his peace come in, not always the answer, but
00:18:21.356 --> 00:18:23.992
The peace first, and then the ability to say, okay,
00:18:23.992 --> 00:18:27.262
What's my next step?
00:18:27.262 --> 00:18:29.865
I understand that every parent goes through a phase or a
00:18:29.865 --> 00:18:34.970
Season of discouragement, and i
00:18:34.970 --> 00:18:38.040
Get it because i too have been there.
00:18:38.040 --> 00:18:40.709
But i realized that it is not my role and my responsibility
00:18:40.709 --> 00:18:45.180
For the outcome.
00:18:45.180 --> 00:18:46.648
My role and responsibility is to be led by the spirit of god.
00:18:46.648 --> 00:18:51.053
And so let me encourage you today, regardless of what's
00:18:51.053 --> 00:18:53.989
Going on, regardless of what you see, god's grace is
00:18:53.989 --> 00:18:58.660
Sufficient for you.
00:18:58.660 --> 00:19:01.063
And i think so much, so many times we're afraid to actually
00:19:01.063 --> 00:19:03.232
Ask for help.
00:19:03.232 --> 00:19:04.166
Right. so i know, like you talk
00:19:04.166 --> 00:19:05.434
To my daughter multiple times because
00:19:05.434 --> 00:19:07.469
My daughter-- yes. paris is on speed dial.
00:19:07.469 --> 00:19:08.503
I mean, similar ages and she stepped into a step
00:19:08.503 --> 00:19:11.139
Parenting situation a few years before you did.
00:19:11.139 --> 00:19:13.875
Same ages of kids,
00:19:13.875 --> 00:19:15.143
And so you guys have, she's been a big help to you in one--
00:19:15.143 --> 00:19:18.747
And because you-- but you asked.
00:19:18.747 --> 00:19:20.048
And i feel like so many times we get ourselves in
00:19:20.048 --> 00:19:22.718
Situations with our kids.
00:19:22.718 --> 00:19:24.086
And perhaps it's just the unfortunate pressure that we
00:19:24.086 --> 00:19:29.791
Put on each other as christians to have our life look a certain
00:19:29.791 --> 00:19:34.096
Way that we're afraid to go,
00:19:34.096 --> 00:19:35.797
You know what? i need help.
00:19:35.797 --> 00:19:37.733
My son is wigging out.
00:19:37.733 --> 00:19:40.168
My daughter's going through a hard time.
00:19:40.168 --> 00:19:41.870
I need help.
00:19:41.870 --> 00:19:43.038
Give me wisdom.
00:19:43.038 --> 00:19:43.905
You've been through this. help me.
00:19:43.905 --> 00:19:45.607
And i just think if we felt
00:19:45.607 --> 00:19:46.742
More free to do that, we might actually--
00:19:46.742 --> 00:19:50.112
Absolutely.
00:19:50.112 --> 00:19:51.380
Some of the anxiety would go because it would normalize some
00:19:51.380 --> 00:19:53.649
Of the struggles
00:19:53.649 --> 00:19:54.816
Perhaps, or the thoughts that we're all having, but we
00:19:54.816 --> 00:19:57.452
Still want to put on that christian face, right,
00:19:57.452 --> 00:19:59.354
That we don't ask.
00:19:59.354 --> 00:20:00.355
Try to look like we're perfect
00:20:00.355 --> 00:20:01.556
And we got it all together
00:20:01.556 --> 00:20:02.724
When we don't, we're falling apart.
00:20:02.724 --> 00:20:04.559
And that's one of the things that i had to do.
00:20:04.559 --> 00:20:06.762
I started seeking help.
00:20:06.762 --> 00:20:08.764
I realized that god never intended for any of us to do
00:20:08.764 --> 00:20:11.933
Life alone, right?
00:20:11.933 --> 00:20:13.468
Like, why do we try to, you know, act like we got it all
00:20:13.468 --> 00:20:16.938
Together? and we talk about, i know you all have been saying,
00:20:16.938 --> 00:20:19.775
You know, we don't have a manual, but i mean, he did give
00:20:19.775 --> 00:20:23.545
Us like a book, you know, of instructions.
00:20:23.545 --> 00:20:26.948
The word of god.
00:20:26.948 --> 00:20:27.749
Yes, he did give us his word.
00:20:27.749 --> 00:20:30.285
And i mean, it may not just say, okay, put the pamper
00:20:30.285 --> 00:20:33.322
On like this, but he does say, seek me first.
00:20:33.322 --> 00:20:36.858
Yeah, yeah.
00:20:36.858 --> 00:20:37.893
You know, and then all things, acknowledged me
00:20:37.893 --> 00:20:39.661
In all your ways.
00:20:39.661 --> 00:20:40.962
So he does tell us to come to him, you know, to ask for the
00:20:40.962 --> 00:20:44.700
Help or ask for instructions.
00:20:44.700 --> 00:20:46.168
And then all through the scriptures he talks about like,
00:20:46.168 --> 00:20:49.971
You know, being one, working in harmony.
00:20:49.971 --> 00:20:53.608
Working in unity.
00:20:53.608 --> 00:20:54.876
You know, that's with each
00:20:54.876 --> 00:20:56.044
Other as far as the body is concerned.
00:20:56.044 --> 00:20:57.713
And fail not to assemble yourselves together.
00:20:57.713 --> 00:20:59.815
Pray for one another.
00:20:59.815 --> 00:21:01.283
Those are our powerful scriptures that people can use
00:21:01.283 --> 00:21:04.753
For parenting or for mothering.
00:21:04.753 --> 00:21:07.723
And i thank god for my sister in law.
00:21:07.723 --> 00:21:10.292
I remember one time i had to go to her.
00:21:10.292 --> 00:21:12.394
This was about breland again, because breland,
00:21:12.394 --> 00:21:15.630
I'd give-- breland would say, like if you would say, okay,
00:21:15.630 --> 00:21:19.301
Breland, no, you cannot go outside today.
00:21:19.301 --> 00:21:21.670
Well, i don't understand why i can't go outside.
00:21:21.670 --> 00:21:23.638
I want to go outside.
00:21:23.638 --> 00:21:24.906
And so you're going to have to explain to me.
00:21:24.906 --> 00:21:26.675
To wear you down.
00:21:26.675 --> 00:21:27.342
She would just-- ooh woo.
00:21:27.342 --> 00:21:29.644
And so i went to my sister in law.
00:21:29.644 --> 00:21:31.313
I said, okay, i just need to know how to handle this.
00:21:31.313 --> 00:21:34.116
And she said, okay, what you do is you tell her it's okay for
00:21:34.116 --> 00:21:38.754
Her to say what she wants to say, but tell her to
00:21:38.754 --> 00:21:41.690
Say it a different way.
00:21:41.690 --> 00:21:43.759
Mhm. ooh, when i started doing that
00:21:43.759 --> 00:21:45.861
With breland, breland, she would just--
00:21:45.861 --> 00:21:47.929
It would take her a long time to get used to it.
00:21:47.929 --> 00:21:49.965
To figure it out. and figure it out.
00:21:49.965 --> 00:21:51.600
But then she started figuring it out.
00:21:51.600 --> 00:21:53.802
And it's so funny now to watch her with her daughters.
00:21:53.802 --> 00:21:57.339
Yeah. like, and she's telling them,
00:21:57.339 --> 00:21:59.341
Okay, now say that a different way.
00:21:59.341 --> 00:22:00.909
I'm like, oh, what did you get that one from?
00:22:00.909 --> 00:22:03.612
It is funny. that's a good idea.
00:22:03.612 --> 00:22:05.747
That's a good idea.
00:22:05.747 --> 00:22:07.549
And so, i mean, you don't you don't have to figure it out,
00:22:07.549 --> 00:22:11.186
You know, alone. we can get the help that we need because
00:22:11.186 --> 00:22:14.489
Help is available.
00:22:14.489 --> 00:22:16.391
Somebody else has gone through
00:22:16.391 --> 00:22:18.827
What all of us go through, right?
00:22:18.827 --> 00:22:21.830
Yeah. like there's nothing new under the sun.
00:22:21.830 --> 00:22:24.466
The same things that, you know, your mom experienced, you will
00:22:24.466 --> 00:22:28.470
Experience, you know, or maybe not your mom, somebody else.
00:22:28.470 --> 00:22:32.774
And then we can just come together and say, hey, this is
00:22:32.774 --> 00:22:35.310
A better way to handle this
00:22:35.310 --> 00:22:37.512
Situation so you don't destroy them.
00:22:37.512 --> 00:22:39.848
It's like, none of us are perfect.
00:22:39.848 --> 00:22:42.584
None of us are going to get it, you know,
00:22:42.584 --> 00:22:44.953
Exactly, you know, the correct way, the way that we think
00:22:44.953 --> 00:22:48.223
We should have to.
00:22:48.223 --> 00:22:50.425
You've heard the saying, it
00:22:50.425 --> 00:22:51.526
Takes a village to raise a child.
00:22:51.526 --> 00:22:54.329
And that saying is so true
00:22:54.329 --> 00:22:56.331
Whether you come from a family with two parents or one.
00:22:56.331 --> 00:23:00.368
But all the more reason for you to invest in asking for help
00:23:00.368 --> 00:23:05.740
And trusting that god will
00:23:05.740 --> 00:23:07.509
Provide people to fill in the gaps.
00:23:07.509 --> 00:23:10.345
You cannot be all things to your children.
00:23:10.345 --> 00:23:14.816
You never were meant to be all things to your children, but it
00:23:14.816 --> 00:23:19.287
Really is an important step for you to take, to reach out, ask
00:23:19.287 --> 00:23:23.725
For help, ask for someone to come in and fill in the gaps.
00:23:23.725 --> 00:23:27.929
And remember that by asking for help, you're not failing, but
00:23:27.929 --> 00:23:32.200
Asking for help
00:23:32.200 --> 00:23:33.535
You're inviting people in to
00:23:33.535 --> 00:23:35.570
Your children's lives, to your life
00:23:35.570 --> 00:23:38.406
Because it really does take a village.
00:23:38.406 --> 00:23:41.209
I'm watching now my son at 32, train their one year old and
00:23:41.209 --> 00:23:47.816
His name is shai alexander.
00:23:47.816 --> 00:23:49.317
Just the cutest thing i've ever seen.
00:23:49.317 --> 00:23:50.852
But now he's getting to where you get that little arched back
00:23:50.852 --> 00:23:54.789
And that, that might not make me happy right now.
00:23:54.789 --> 00:23:58.593
Yes. and it's so funny because cody will just kind of look
00:23:58.593 --> 00:24:01.363
Over at me and i'll go, you'll have to deal with that soon.
00:24:01.363 --> 00:24:04.733
Yeah. you know, but watching what you've taught, go to the
00:24:04.733 --> 00:24:10.105
Next generation to see how--
00:24:10.105 --> 00:24:12.040
And i'm going-- wow. hopefully he's not you.
00:24:12.040 --> 00:24:15.644
Yeah. because you're--
00:24:15.644 --> 00:24:16.878
Yeah. good luck with that.
00:24:16.878 --> 00:24:18.947
But what's so funny as grandparents,
00:24:17.913 --> 00:24:20.549
Okay, so my kids for dinner time when i was raising my
00:24:20.549 --> 00:24:23.818
Kids, there was dinner and it's on the table and you either
00:24:23.818 --> 00:24:26.555
Eat it or you don't.
00:24:26.555 --> 00:24:29.090
And now, as a grandmother, i'm looking at my little baby
00:24:29.090 --> 00:24:31.259
Granddaughters and i'm going,
00:24:31.259 --> 00:24:32.360
Do you want me to cut that into, stars or squares?
00:24:32.360 --> 00:24:35.664
And my kids are going, who are you?
00:24:35.664 --> 00:24:38.033
Yes, yes. where was she when i was a kid?
00:24:38.033 --> 00:24:40.535
Exactly. she was not that.
00:24:40.535 --> 00:24:41.503
She's the grandmother, and it's
00:24:41.503 --> 00:24:42.771
A very different vibe i have now.
00:24:42.771 --> 00:24:44.673
Yeah, that's the fun part. yep.
00:24:44.673 --> 00:24:46.942
Well, i think for me, some of those moments of talking to
00:24:46.942 --> 00:24:50.579
Moms, not like-- again, listening to the tapes because
00:24:50.579 --> 00:24:53.315
I think if there was a manual, it would just make me feel more
00:24:53.315 --> 00:24:56.685
Like i wasn't doing it right.
00:24:56.685 --> 00:24:58.486
But these-- no time
00:24:58.486 --> 00:24:59.254
Time to read the manual
00:24:59.254 --> 00:25:00.088
When you're trying to raise them.
00:25:00.088 --> 00:25:01.323
It has to be on audible because i really don't have time
00:25:01.323 --> 00:25:02.891
To read the book.
00:25:02.891 --> 00:25:03.892
Um, but i think yes,
00:25:03.892 --> 00:25:05.894
The conversations with other moms, um, that have
00:25:05.894 --> 00:25:08.630
Been through it, just as the freedom that i need in this
00:25:08.630 --> 00:25:11.733
Season to know, like we've been there too.
00:25:11.733 --> 00:25:14.436
We get it too.
00:25:14.436 --> 00:25:15.737
We were in japan with my whole family last year and we had the
00:25:15.737 --> 00:25:18.273
Girls with us.
00:25:18.273 --> 00:25:19.507
I was pregnant with leika, and we're in the lobby of the
00:25:19.507 --> 00:25:22.110
Hotel, and our family is huge and huge and loud and
00:25:22.110 --> 00:25:25.080
Australian and obnoxious.
00:25:25.080 --> 00:25:26.181
And we were there about to go out for the day.
00:25:26.181 --> 00:25:28.283
And your husband is so not that.
00:25:28.283 --> 00:25:29.551
My husband is the gift from the god for our whole murphy
00:25:29.551 --> 00:25:32.387
Side of the family. he is.
00:25:32.387 --> 00:25:34.189
And we were about to go out for the day and milan decided that
00:25:34.189 --> 00:25:37.559
That was the best time--
00:25:37.559 --> 00:25:38.727
Because don't they always decide that the time when
00:25:38.727 --> 00:25:41.196
Everyone needs to get together and do something is the time
00:25:41.196 --> 00:25:43.298
That they should throw the tantrum?
00:25:43.298 --> 00:25:44.833
She's like, this feels like a good time.
00:25:44.833 --> 00:25:46.735
Like, we're already running late for the train.
00:25:46.735 --> 00:25:48.770
How about i throw a tantrum now and just throws the tantrum of
00:25:48.770 --> 00:25:52.040
All tantrums in the middle of this japanese hotel lobby.
00:25:52.040 --> 00:25:55.644
And japanese people are the kindest,
00:25:55.644 --> 00:25:58.513
Most polite, quiet,
00:25:58.513 --> 00:26:00.882
Polite people on the planet,
00:26:00.882 --> 00:26:03.518
And my child is not.
00:26:03.518 --> 00:26:06.488
And so i am like, oh my gosh.
00:26:06.488 --> 00:26:08.356
And then already as a stepmom, you have this feeling of like,
00:26:08.356 --> 00:26:11.092
What do i, what do i do now?
00:26:11.092 --> 00:26:12.527
Not only people watching, but you have the innate thing of
00:26:12.527 --> 00:26:14.696
Like, how do, how do i handle this one?
00:26:14.696 --> 00:26:16.631
So she calmed down after a while.
00:26:16.631 --> 00:26:18.333
Tim did an amazing job of just parenting her through it, but i
00:26:18.333 --> 00:26:20.902
Am walking out of the hotel just feeling like
00:26:20.902 --> 00:26:23.271
No one else's kids do this.
00:26:23.271 --> 00:26:24.973
No one-- like, this is ridiculous.
00:26:24.973 --> 00:26:27.175
And we walk out of the hotel and i kid you not, in the
00:26:27.175 --> 00:26:30.378
Middle of the street is this beautiful japanese woman with
00:26:30.378 --> 00:26:35.083
Two children throwing an even better tantrum than milan had
00:26:35.083 --> 00:26:39.554
Just thrown in the middle of the hotel lobby.
00:26:39.554 --> 00:26:42.757
And it was just this--
00:26:42.757 --> 00:26:43.992
It almost it felt like this moment from god because she
00:26:43.992 --> 00:26:45.760
Looked up, looked at me and smiled and just goes and takes
00:26:45.760 --> 00:26:50.565
Her children and starts walking off.
00:26:50.565 --> 00:26:52.400
And i just had this moment of--
00:26:52.400 --> 00:26:54.269
I see you.
00:26:54.269 --> 00:26:55.303
Doesn't matter where we are in the world, right?
00:26:55.303 --> 00:26:56.571
Moms have this way of looking at each other as a gift from
00:26:56.571 --> 00:27:00.341
God in these moments to be like, i have it too.
00:27:00.341 --> 00:27:02.977
Yeah.
00:27:02.977 --> 00:27:03.978
And i just think it's the most beautiful,
00:27:03.978 --> 00:27:04.979
It was the most beautiful moment.
00:27:04.979 --> 00:27:06.514
Cross cultures on the other side of the world to be like,
00:27:06.514 --> 00:27:10.351
We all have these moments, and it's okay.
00:27:10.351 --> 00:27:12.854
And it was just--
00:27:12.854 --> 00:27:14.022
Here's a scripture to lean into, second corinthians--
00:27:14.022 --> 00:27:16.891
Thanks for keeping us on track.
00:27:16.891 --> 00:27:17.892
9:8, and god is able to make all grace abound
00:27:17.892 --> 00:27:24.432
Toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency
00:27:24.432 --> 00:27:30.872
In all things, may have an abundance for every good work.
00:27:30.872 --> 00:27:36.544
That is a promise from god that
00:27:36.544 --> 00:27:38.913
I have all sufficiency in all things.
00:27:38.913 --> 00:27:42.617
I can do this.
00:27:42.617 --> 00:27:44.819
The area that i feel most unqualified in when it comes to
00:27:44.819 --> 00:27:48.256
Being a mom, really depends on the day of the week that it is,
00:27:48.256 --> 00:27:52.026
And even to the time of day.
00:27:52.026 --> 00:27:53.661
I may have felt qualified in something the day before, and
00:27:53.661 --> 00:27:56.397
Suddenly the next day i'm doing the exact same thing, having
00:27:56.397 --> 00:27:59.134
The exact same conversation in the exact same scenario.
00:27:59.134 --> 00:28:01.770
And it feels like there's a whole different me.
00:28:01.770 --> 00:28:03.605
I feel like i am the liability sometimes when it comes to
00:28:03.605 --> 00:28:06.941
Mothering, honestly.
00:28:06.941 --> 00:28:08.510
And yeah, i think that's the place where god met me, the
00:28:08.510 --> 00:28:11.246
Understanding that i need him in a different way today than i
00:28:11.246 --> 00:28:14.482
Needed him yesterday.
00:28:14.482 --> 00:28:15.750
And so not expecting to have all the right answers to have
00:28:15.750 --> 00:28:19.254
All the right reactions.
00:28:19.254 --> 00:28:21.222
I think it's in the very areas where i feel inadequate, that
00:28:21.222 --> 00:28:25.860
God wants me to meet him there, and i've seen him work the most
00:28:25.860 --> 00:28:30.698
In his grace, be the most sufficient.
00:28:30.698 --> 00:28:33.234
Not when i was like, i got this, but actually in the
00:28:33.234 --> 00:28:36.004
Moments where the most spiritual thing i can say is,
00:28:36.004 --> 00:28:39.407
Jesus, help me.
00:28:39.407 --> 00:28:40.875
And i think specifically when it comes to being a blended
00:28:40.875 --> 00:28:43.912
Family and a stepmom, it's in these moments where i'm trying
00:28:43.912 --> 00:28:48.483
To figure out what to say to
00:28:48.483 --> 00:28:50.385
Questions that don't have good answers.
00:28:50.385 --> 00:28:53.822
And i take a moment to ask the holy spirit
00:28:53.822 --> 00:28:57.826
That he gives me words that i could have never come up with
00:28:57.826 --> 00:29:00.929
On my own.
00:29:00.929 --> 00:29:02.163
So i feel inadequate in, um, every possible situation in
00:29:02.163 --> 00:29:07.235
Motherhood depending on the day.
00:29:07.235 --> 00:29:08.603
But i think it's actually in that very place that i have
00:29:08.603 --> 00:29:12.207
Seen jesus meet me the most.
00:29:12.207 --> 00:29:14.709
You know, it's been shocking to me to watch how motherhood is
00:29:14.709 --> 00:29:19.948
Looked at now, all these people
00:29:19.948 --> 00:29:22.350
Saying what a pain children are.
00:29:22.350 --> 00:29:24.586
And it's just heartbreaking to me because it's so outside of
00:29:24.586 --> 00:29:27.789
The design of what god created earth and us to do or to
00:29:27.789 --> 00:29:32.794
Procreate, you know, be fruitful and multiply,
00:29:32.794 --> 00:29:37.031
God's gift to us.
00:29:37.031 --> 00:29:38.466
Bible says children are a gift from god.
00:29:38.466 --> 00:29:42.370
He wouldn't allow us to do this alone.
00:29:42.370 --> 00:29:44.873
This is what he's wanted us to do from day one was to be
00:29:44.873 --> 00:29:49.110
Fruitful and multiply.
00:29:49.110 --> 00:29:51.112
Subdue the earth.
00:29:51.112 --> 00:29:52.547
Train up your children in the way.
00:29:52.547 --> 00:29:54.349
He wouldn't tell us to train them up if he didn't give us
00:29:54.349 --> 00:29:56.885
The ability to do it. right.
00:29:56.885 --> 00:29:58.686
The assets, the tools to do it.
00:29:58.686 --> 00:30:00.889
And so we can have when you feel like that, when they're on
00:30:00.889 --> 00:30:04.192
The floor, when they're doing their thing, i understand that.
00:30:04.192 --> 00:30:08.296
And it's that god will give you the grace and the sufficiency
00:30:08.296 --> 00:30:13.368
In all things to get through, because we all go through it.
00:30:13.368 --> 00:30:17.405
And i think that part of motherhood is such a beautiful
00:30:17.405 --> 00:30:20.775
Thing because we all have something inside of us.
00:30:20.775 --> 00:30:23.912
You cry at the drop of a hat when you're talking.
00:30:23.912 --> 00:30:26.948
You do, too. i do, too.
00:30:26.948 --> 00:30:28.816
You do, too. we can talk about our kids.
00:30:28.816 --> 00:30:31.052
And man, that's something we all have in common.
00:30:31.052 --> 00:30:34.389
Whether you're biologically a mom,
00:30:34.389 --> 00:30:38.159
You're mentoring people.
00:30:38.159 --> 00:30:39.761
You are looked up to some way somehow by someone.
00:30:39.761 --> 00:30:44.332
And in that motherhood thing that god put on the inside of
00:30:44.332 --> 00:30:49.170
Each and every one of us, that
00:30:49.170 --> 00:30:51.139
We're all linked in, that somehow.
00:30:51.139 --> 00:30:53.508
And we can carry each other's burdens because we know and we
00:30:53.508 --> 00:30:57.345
Can bear each other and we can glean from each other.
00:30:57.345 --> 00:31:00.114
And i think that's so important to, to find community.
00:31:00.114 --> 00:31:03.751
And, and like you said, women that are in the same stage as
00:31:03.751 --> 00:31:07.655
You are with little ones and just glean and live life and
00:31:07.655 --> 00:31:11.659
Know that i am sufficient in all things, even when it
00:31:11.659 --> 00:31:15.029
Doesn't look like it.
00:31:15.029 --> 00:31:16.230
You might be seeing what's going on right now, but you
00:31:16.230 --> 00:31:19.133
Know what? i'm sufficient.
00:31:19.133 --> 00:31:20.134
God made me that child's mom.
00:31:20.134 --> 00:31:22.036
Yeah. and i am the best mom for that kid.
00:31:22.036 --> 00:31:24.839
And it's just like, to me, that's why it's important that
00:31:24.839 --> 00:31:27.408
We know who we are. yeah.
00:31:27.408 --> 00:31:29.377
Right? because if i'm looking for my child and their
00:31:29.377 --> 00:31:33.748
Behavior to validate who i am--
00:31:33.748 --> 00:31:36.417
Good luck with that then. good luck with that.
00:31:36.417 --> 00:31:38.653
And so i just think the healthier i am--
00:31:38.653 --> 00:31:40.588
You're right. --the more i know i'm loved by god, the more
00:31:40.588 --> 00:31:44.225
I know i'm created in god's image,
00:31:44.225 --> 00:31:46.694
Then the more, you know, confident or just trust i have
00:31:46.694 --> 00:31:51.499
In god to take care of the family and the situation.
00:31:51.499 --> 00:31:55.503
Our identity is such an important part of who we are
00:31:55.503 --> 00:31:58.873
And how we function, because everything that we do flows out
00:31:58.873 --> 00:32:03.511
Of who we are and onto our family.
00:32:03.511 --> 00:32:05.546
And this is why knowing who we are in christ, who god has made
00:32:05.546 --> 00:32:11.085
Us to be, helps us have confidence in how we parent.
00:32:11.085 --> 00:32:16.891
And it helps us to avoid comparison because we're not
00:32:16.891 --> 00:32:20.395
Looking to the left or to the right at how everybody else
00:32:20.395 --> 00:32:23.031
Is doing it.
00:32:23.031 --> 00:32:24.232
We're focused on doing it the way that god has
00:32:24.232 --> 00:32:27.168
Called us to do it.
00:32:27.168 --> 00:32:28.836
So finding our identity first is a key component to being the
00:32:28.836 --> 00:32:33.775
Mom that god has called us to be.
00:32:33.775 --> 00:32:36.577
That's where being equipped is solidified.
00:32:36.577 --> 00:32:40.481
I'm not equipped because of my
00:32:40.481 --> 00:32:42.016
Talents, my abilities, my personality.
00:32:42.016 --> 00:32:45.286
I'm equipped because he has called me to do this.
00:32:45.286 --> 00:32:49.057
And this is kingdom work.
00:32:49.057 --> 00:32:51.793
You know, i remember when i was struggling with morning
00:32:51.793 --> 00:32:54.829
Sickness, three out of four kids.
00:32:54.829 --> 00:32:56.697
I did not have morning sickness.
00:32:56.697 --> 00:32:58.032
I didn't even know what it was. oh, wow.
00:32:58.032 --> 00:32:59.801
And then the fourth, it was like--
00:32:59.801 --> 00:33:01.736
We'll show you what morning sickness is.
00:33:01.736 --> 00:33:04.172
And i remember a friend of mine texted me some encouragement
00:33:04.172 --> 00:33:07.642
That day and she said, remember, this is kingdom work.
00:33:07.642 --> 00:33:11.345
And even the thought of being pregnant and going through
00:33:11.345 --> 00:33:15.016
Morning sickness as kingdom work changed my perspective and
00:33:15.016 --> 00:33:20.655
Thinking about the temper tantrum and the diaper changes
00:33:20.655 --> 00:33:24.826
And the behavior time and time again.
00:33:24.826 --> 00:33:26.828
Okay, back in, time out.
00:33:26.828 --> 00:33:27.929
Let's do this again.
00:33:27.929 --> 00:33:28.996
Try that again.
00:33:28.996 --> 00:33:30.531
You know, the day in, day out,
00:33:30.531 --> 00:33:33.568
It's kingdom work.
00:33:33.568 --> 00:33:34.735
Yeah. that's powerful.
00:33:34.735 --> 00:33:35.903
And the lord equips us for that because of who he is.
00:33:35.903 --> 00:33:39.107
You were talking about in our weakness,
00:33:39.107 --> 00:33:41.542
And that's exactly when god's strength is made perfect.
00:33:41.542 --> 00:33:46.280
If i'm not weak, if i have no weakness to acknowledge, then
00:33:46.280 --> 00:33:50.418
Where's the invitation for his strength to come in?
00:33:50.418 --> 00:33:53.955
So it's almost when we i acknowledge that i'm not able,
00:33:53.955 --> 00:33:59.060
Then he's like, okay, good job.
00:33:59.060 --> 00:34:00.728
It's time for me to do this.
00:34:00.728 --> 00:34:01.963
It's time for me to help you out.
00:34:01.963 --> 00:34:03.231
Teach that to your kids.
00:34:03.231 --> 00:34:05.333
Let them see you do that. lean in.
00:34:05.333 --> 00:34:07.802
That's powerful when you realize this is kingdom work.
00:34:07.802 --> 00:34:11.339
Yeah. i mean, god has given us the responsibility to steward
00:34:11.339 --> 00:34:16.644
Our children.
00:34:16.644 --> 00:34:18.045
It's for him.
00:34:18.045 --> 00:34:19.347
So if it's for him, we have to go to him for the instructions
00:34:19.347 --> 00:34:24.552
Because i was that one who didn't know who i was.
00:34:24.552 --> 00:34:29.724
I mean, the insecurities, the
00:34:29.724 --> 00:34:31.392
Lack of identity and all of that,
00:34:31.392 --> 00:34:33.728
And i did project that.
00:34:33.728 --> 00:34:35.530
You know, so it's like, you're not going to be me and i'm
00:34:35.530 --> 00:34:40.268
Going to, you know, raise you different, but i couldn't raise
00:34:40.268 --> 00:34:42.770
You to be different than what i am.
00:34:42.770 --> 00:34:44.939
Right? you know, so i had to
00:34:44.939 --> 00:34:46.307
Start increasing me by going to him.
00:34:46.307 --> 00:34:49.477
God, show me who i am.
00:34:49.477 --> 00:34:51.579
Allow me to see myself in you, and then allow me to let my
00:34:51.579 --> 00:34:56.050
Child get the overflow of my relationship with you, because
00:34:56.050 --> 00:34:59.720
I was trying to make her something that i was never
00:34:59.720 --> 00:35:03.157
Supposed to, you know, make her to be.
00:35:03.157 --> 00:35:06.060
I didn't create her, but i did,
00:35:06.060 --> 00:35:07.895
I tried to make her be something that i wanted her to
00:35:07.895 --> 00:35:10.865
Be, and that was never the plan of god.
00:35:10.865 --> 00:35:13.634
And so i had to get instructions from him.
00:35:13.634 --> 00:35:15.970
I'm like, okay, god, you gave me this child.
00:35:15.970 --> 00:35:18.105
You know more about her than i do.
00:35:18.105 --> 00:35:20.274
I don't know what she's called to do.
00:35:20.274 --> 00:35:22.810
And when i learned that though, that's what i had to learn.
00:35:22.810 --> 00:35:25.112
I had to understand what her
00:35:25.112 --> 00:35:27.114
Purpose would be here in the earth.
00:35:27.114 --> 00:35:28.983
And when i learned that, that's how i started to guide her.
00:35:28.983 --> 00:35:32.119
Yeah. instead of trying to talk her out of something, just
00:35:32.119 --> 00:35:35.256
Trying to teach her how to do it better.
00:35:35.256 --> 00:35:38.125
We all want to have a healthy home and a healthy family, and
00:35:38.125 --> 00:35:41.829
We want to raise kids with healthy souls.
00:35:41.829 --> 00:35:44.031
And the first step toward that is you having a healthy soul.
00:35:44.031 --> 00:35:48.402
And i just want to encourage you to do the work.
00:35:48.402 --> 00:35:51.038
So i don't know what background you came from.
00:35:51.038 --> 00:35:53.007
Maybe your background was one of abuse or pain or suffering.
00:35:53.007 --> 00:35:58.212
Well, that will spill over into this family unless you do the
00:35:58.212 --> 00:36:02.316
Work of your, of getting healthy in your own soul.
00:36:02.316 --> 00:36:04.719
So whether that's seeing a counselor or, you know, talking
00:36:04.719 --> 00:36:07.989
To a pastor, like do the steps to get healthy in your own
00:36:07.989 --> 00:36:10.958
Soul, uh, because that will make you a healthier mom.
00:36:10.958 --> 00:36:14.428
And so for me to be a healthy mom, i have to know who i am.
00:36:14.428 --> 00:36:18.165
Who i am, i'm a daughter of the king.
00:36:18.165 --> 00:36:20.601
I'm loved, i'm called.
00:36:20.601 --> 00:36:22.470
And so i have to know who i am because the enemy will come
00:36:22.470 --> 00:36:25.373
With a bunch of lies and he's going to challenge that.
00:36:25.373 --> 00:36:27.775
He's like, did god say that's who you are?
00:36:27.775 --> 00:36:29.277
And if i don't know who who i am, then i'm going to listen
00:36:29.277 --> 00:36:32.146
To the lies.
00:36:32.146 --> 00:36:33.447
So i just want to encourage you to do the work of discovering
00:36:33.447 --> 00:36:35.883
Who you are in jesus, who you are.
00:36:35.883 --> 00:36:38.386
Do the work of getting healthy in your soul because that will
00:36:38.386 --> 00:36:40.988
Help create a healthy home.
00:36:40.988 --> 00:36:44.125
Be the first to know all the latest better together updates.
00:36:44.125 --> 00:36:47.928
Visit bettertogether.tv to sign up for our weekly emails and
00:36:47.928 --> 00:36:51.932
Never miss the latest news!
00:36:51.932 --> 00:36:55.005
Never miss the latest news!
00:36:55.005 --> 00:36:55.070
Some of my best friends are adopted, and some of the people
00:36:58.674 --> 00:37:04.313
I know and love have adopted children.
00:37:04.313 --> 00:37:06.315
Yeah. have chosen, which is
00:37:06.315 --> 00:37:09.084
Beautiful and amazing and complicated.
00:37:09.084 --> 00:37:11.353
Yeah. right?
00:37:11.353 --> 00:37:12.587
Because you don't know the history that's coming into the
00:37:12.587 --> 00:37:15.624
Family and so doing the work,
00:37:15.624 --> 00:37:17.626
And so i have so much
00:37:17.626 --> 00:37:18.460
Compassion on like that situation.
00:37:18.460 --> 00:37:20.996
It's like step parenting beyond, right?
00:37:20.996 --> 00:37:23.899
Because you don't know the circumstances that led them to
00:37:23.899 --> 00:37:27.502
Be in that place.
00:37:27.502 --> 00:37:28.337
And i have three adopted grandkids.
00:37:28.337 --> 00:37:31.006
I know.
00:37:31.006 --> 00:37:32.307
Right. so, so then it becomes asking god for a different kind
00:37:32.307 --> 00:37:36.111
Of wisdom, even like just give the wisdom to parent this, but
00:37:36.111 --> 00:37:39.181
To understand who they are and where they've come from.
00:37:39.181 --> 00:37:41.450
Right. right.
00:37:41.450 --> 00:37:42.551
And having a different eye and compassion on that.
00:37:42.551 --> 00:37:44.286
I'm sure there are people watching that
00:37:44.286 --> 00:37:45.987
That's their story, right?
00:37:45.987 --> 00:37:47.422
They've chosen to adopt, which is beautiful.
00:37:47.422 --> 00:37:49.291
Yes. and it's not romantic.
00:37:49.291 --> 00:37:52.194
It comes with its own set of of things to deal with.
00:37:52.194 --> 00:37:55.297
And so i think just being compassionate, right, for that.
00:37:55.297 --> 00:37:59.134
And having grace with ourselves. yes.
00:37:59.134 --> 00:38:01.103
You know, i work with adopted families a lot as a
00:38:01.103 --> 00:38:05.073
Counselor and sometimes they feel ill equipped.
00:38:05.073 --> 00:38:09.378
But the reminder is, honey, we all feel ill equipped.
00:38:09.378 --> 00:38:12.681
That's right.
00:38:12.681 --> 00:38:13.515
You know, and that's okay.
00:38:13.515 --> 00:38:15.517
It's part of the journey.
00:38:15.517 --> 00:38:17.085
And it's an invitation for god to help us do what he's
00:38:17.085 --> 00:38:21.223
Called us to do, so
00:38:21.223 --> 00:38:22.891
I think we're all in the same boat in so many ways.
00:38:22.891 --> 00:38:25.427
Yeah. i think some of the things that also complicated my
00:38:25.427 --> 00:38:28.063
Parenting journey was this
00:38:28.063 --> 00:38:30.165
Pressure to say yes to things, everything.
00:38:30.165 --> 00:38:35.904
So whether it's this trip or this sporting event or this
00:38:35.904 --> 00:38:40.175
Thing, it's just like, so then and because you see all these
00:38:40.175 --> 00:38:42.277
Other moms doing it, right.
00:38:42.277 --> 00:38:43.979
So then you go, oh, i guess i need to do that.
00:38:43.979 --> 00:38:45.647
And then you realize you, you're so fried and frazzled.
00:38:45.647 --> 00:38:50.085
And maybe what's more important is cooking a meal every now and
00:38:50.085 --> 00:38:53.288
Then or whatever it would be.
00:38:53.288 --> 00:38:54.456
But it's just like, i just saw
00:38:54.456 --> 00:38:56.291
Everybody else doing this, right?
00:38:56.291 --> 00:38:58.059
Like, maybe we don't need to
00:38:58.059 --> 00:38:58.894
Play six sports at one time, right?
00:38:58.894 --> 00:39:00.862
You know? yeah. the calling is unique.
00:39:00.862 --> 00:39:03.198
Yeah. when we think about kingdom work, not everybody has
00:39:03.198 --> 00:39:06.568
The same task in the kingdom. right.
00:39:06.568 --> 00:39:09.304
And i think mothering is very similar.
00:39:09.304 --> 00:39:12.240
Not every mother has the same task or calling.
00:39:12.240 --> 00:39:16.244
And if you become my measuring stick,
00:39:16.244 --> 00:39:18.447
I'm going to go off course. right.
00:39:18.447 --> 00:39:20.715
So as important as it is to have moms speaking into our
00:39:20.715 --> 00:39:24.219
Lives and helping to normalize things, for us to know who we
00:39:24.219 --> 00:39:27.722
Are so that we stay on course with what god has called us to
00:39:27.722 --> 00:39:31.426
Do, and not try to do everything that everybody else
00:39:31.426 --> 00:39:33.895
Is doing, otherwise we'll fail.
00:39:33.895 --> 00:39:36.731
Something that helps me stay focused on who god's calling me
00:39:36.731 --> 00:39:41.102
To be as a mom, rather than comparing myself with the other
00:39:41.102 --> 00:39:44.539
Moms in my world and even the other moms not in my world, is
00:39:44.539 --> 00:39:49.377
Honestly practically the reminder that everything that's
00:39:49.377 --> 00:39:53.114
Posted on the internet always has a behind the scenes to it.
00:39:53.114 --> 00:39:56.751
So if you are scrolling for tips and tricks, first of all,
00:39:56.751 --> 00:39:59.254
Sometimes that's great.
00:39:59.254 --> 00:40:00.455
But you know you. you know your areas of vulnerability.
00:40:00.455 --> 00:40:03.291
And if that for you causes comparison, maybe you stop
00:40:03.291 --> 00:40:06.495
Scrolling for a while.
00:40:06.495 --> 00:40:08.296
But if you can scroll, just remind yourself that everyone
00:40:08.296 --> 00:40:12.467
That's doing a reel on how to parent probably had to do
00:40:12.467 --> 00:40:14.936
2 or 3 takes of them.
00:40:14.936 --> 00:40:17.038
Everyone has to wake up in the morning and wants coffee.
00:40:17.038 --> 00:40:20.308
Everyone has to feed children that want to spit up their
00:40:20.308 --> 00:40:23.411
Food or milk.
00:40:23.411 --> 00:40:25.113
Everyone has a behind the scenes.
00:40:25.113 --> 00:40:26.781
And then the other thing that i remember
00:40:26.781 --> 00:40:30.218
Is that god has created me uniquely, which means
00:40:30.218 --> 00:40:35.390
That he hasn't created the other moms the same, which
00:40:35.390 --> 00:40:38.593
Means he has different ways for me to mother than he has for
00:40:38.593 --> 00:40:42.764
Them, simply because he created me uniquely.
00:40:42.764 --> 00:40:45.400
Why would the god of heaven and earth, who created all of us
00:40:45.400 --> 00:40:49.137
Uniquely, have a uniform way of parenting?
00:40:49.137 --> 00:40:52.874
He wouldn't. why? because we're all
00:40:52.874 --> 00:40:55.176
Different and our kids are different.
00:40:55.176 --> 00:40:57.245
What maybe worked for somebody
00:40:57.245 --> 00:40:58.980
Else's kids might not work for yours.
00:40:58.980 --> 00:41:02.183
One of the ways that i stopped comparing is to remember,
00:41:02.183 --> 00:41:05.520
Again, that there is no formula to faith, which means i need to
00:41:05.520 --> 00:41:09.891
Be dependent on god, not on social media, not on honestly
00:41:09.891 --> 00:41:15.130
Everybody else's expectations or ways of their parenting.
00:41:15.130 --> 00:41:19.134
Because if there was a formula to parenting, don't you think
00:41:19.134 --> 00:41:22.203
We would have figured it out by now?
00:41:22.203 --> 00:41:23.505
No. but being dependent on god going to him every single day
00:41:23.505 --> 00:41:27.776
Reminds me that he is my
00:41:27.776 --> 00:41:30.211
Source, not the people around me.
00:41:30.211 --> 00:41:33.381
Part of the not feeling equipped is especially just in
00:41:33.381 --> 00:41:36.785
My life.
00:41:36.785 --> 00:41:37.986
In my season right now has been after coming back from
00:41:37.986 --> 00:41:40.288
Maternity leave.
00:41:40.288 --> 00:41:41.957
My son is in daycare, which i'm very grateful is attached to
00:41:41.957 --> 00:41:46.461
The church that we work at.
00:41:46.461 --> 00:41:48.229
Our daughters go to school across the road.
00:41:48.229 --> 00:41:49.764
So in so many ways, i'm so, so grateful.
00:41:49.764 --> 00:41:52.701
And it has just changed like my brain.
00:41:52.701 --> 00:41:56.404
And so i come into work and things that didn't used to be
00:41:56.404 --> 00:41:58.707
Difficult tasks,
00:41:58.707 --> 00:41:59.708
I'm like, how did i do-- what? how did i?
00:41:59.708 --> 00:42:02.010
And also, what day is it?
00:42:02.010 --> 00:42:03.278
Like you just have this real time of like your physical body
00:42:03.278 --> 00:42:06.815
Coming back from it and being very used to traveling in
00:42:06.815 --> 00:42:09.918
Ministry and having a fast
00:42:09.918 --> 00:42:11.119
Paced, um, full life is still full.
00:42:11.119 --> 00:42:15.724
It just looks so different, and it's very easy for me to feel
00:42:15.724 --> 00:42:19.561
Like a failure in a season where i have so much fruit,
00:42:19.561 --> 00:42:22.998
Because i'm not keeping up in the way that somebody else is
00:42:22.998 --> 00:42:25.667
In a very different season.
00:42:25.667 --> 00:42:27.002
And i was sitting in a staff meeting last week, last monday.
00:42:27.002 --> 00:42:31.539
This is not like months ago, like last monday.
00:42:31.539 --> 00:42:33.908
And they're doing a training on
00:42:33.908 --> 00:42:36.211
Just like ministry stuff, leadership.
00:42:36.211 --> 00:42:37.912
And one of the questions for the panel on the front was, who
00:42:37.912 --> 00:42:42.751
Are you raising up right now?
00:42:42.751 --> 00:42:44.319
Who are you delegating to?
00:42:44.319 --> 00:42:45.854
Who are you multiplying?
00:42:45.854 --> 00:42:47.222
In most of the seasons?
00:42:47.222 --> 00:42:48.590
I, in my head, as i'm thinking through the question, would
00:42:48.590 --> 00:42:51.026
Have been like, oh, this person or that person.
00:42:51.026 --> 00:42:53.228
And i was blank.
00:42:53.228 --> 00:42:54.496
And i'd already had a tough morning with the girls and with
00:42:54.496 --> 00:42:56.865
My son, just feeling like i'd forgotten so many things.
00:42:56.865 --> 00:42:59.901
And just just one of those mornings where you just one of
00:42:59.901 --> 00:43:02.270
Them forgot a school bag and so had to go back and get that
00:43:02.270 --> 00:43:04.806
Just one of those mornings.
00:43:04.806 --> 00:43:06.074
And i'm sitting there, can feel the tears right here and the
00:43:06.074 --> 00:43:09.244
Anger, the anger in me of like, you don't understand my season.
00:43:09.244 --> 00:43:13.548
Of course i don't have some and i'm sitting in the back.
00:43:13.548 --> 00:43:15.350
No one would know it because obviously i don't wear it on my
00:43:15.350 --> 00:43:18.386
Face in that moment.
00:43:18.386 --> 00:43:20.121
And the girl on the panel, chelsea, she sits up straight
00:43:20.121 --> 00:43:23.391
And she said, i'm raising my kids.
00:43:23.391 --> 00:43:25.193
They're my next leaders.
00:43:25.193 --> 00:43:26.561
She said, so right now, here's what that looks like.
00:43:26.561 --> 00:43:29.197
I just lose it in the back.
00:43:29.197 --> 00:43:30.832
Like you can hear me crying.
00:43:30.832 --> 00:43:32.133
One of those cries, not silent cute.
00:43:32.133 --> 00:43:34.169
Like [sobs] that's good.
00:43:34.169 --> 00:43:37.572
So conscious of it.
00:43:37.572 --> 00:43:38.807
But in that moment, something broke over me and the holy
00:43:38.807 --> 00:43:41.209
Spirit was just like, elyse, you are raising leaders.
00:43:41.209 --> 00:43:44.779
They just can't tie their shoelaces yet.
00:43:44.779 --> 00:43:47.215
And it was this reminder i needed that
00:43:47.215 --> 00:43:50.785
I'm in a different season right now and that is kingdom work.
00:43:50.785 --> 00:43:54.222
And i wasn't even giving myself-- permission.
00:43:54.222 --> 00:43:58.093
Permission in a season to count that.
00:43:58.093 --> 00:44:02.964
I don't know why i did that, but it was this reminder of
00:44:02.964 --> 00:44:05.433
Like, yes, life changes and how beautiful that this is your
00:44:05.433 --> 00:44:10.171
Current season and harvest and field to work in that you get
00:44:10.171 --> 00:44:14.743
To be doing this.
00:44:14.743 --> 00:44:15.977
And it was just this shift for me that went from, i'm not
00:44:15.977 --> 00:44:19.180
Doing it right to, oh, my
00:44:19.180 --> 00:44:21.883
Energy and focus should be here.
00:44:21.883 --> 00:44:23.384
And that's a good thing. yeah.
00:44:23.384 --> 00:44:25.019
So i love that motherhood is a partnership with god.
00:44:25.019 --> 00:44:28.890
It's like anything else.
00:44:28.890 --> 00:44:30.158
It's like you working at the church, your partnership with
00:44:30.158 --> 00:44:33.828
The lord for your work at the church, your work at the
00:44:33.828 --> 00:44:36.765
Church, whatever, whatever we do.
00:44:36.765 --> 00:44:39.100
Co-laborers, aren't we?
00:44:39.100 --> 00:44:40.401
Co-laborers in everything and especially motherhood, i think
00:44:40.401 --> 00:44:45.206
For the mothers out there,
00:44:45.206 --> 00:44:46.541
So there's never a day
00:44:46.541 --> 00:44:49.778
That we need to feel despair
00:44:49.778 --> 00:44:52.547
Because god has it all in his hands.
00:44:52.547 --> 00:44:55.216
And if i trust god-- there were there were days that i felt i
00:44:55.216 --> 00:44:59.053
Had to take my kids out of school at third grade and sixth
00:44:59.053 --> 00:45:02.490
Grade just so that we could travel.
00:45:02.490 --> 00:45:04.159
I wasn't going to leave my kids home when we traveled, and so
00:45:04.159 --> 00:45:06.895
We were out of the country six months of the year,
00:45:06.895 --> 00:45:10.265
And we're all going.
00:45:10.265 --> 00:45:11.533
And so let's go.
00:45:11.533 --> 00:45:13.234
But that meant homeschool.
00:45:13.234 --> 00:45:14.736
And i didn't want to travel with a nanny or a tutor, and i
00:45:14.736 --> 00:45:18.907
Didn't want to be a science teacher, all of the things.
00:45:18.907 --> 00:45:21.743
So i didn't want anything except my kids to just, you
00:45:21.743 --> 00:45:25.814
Know, by osmosis, learn.
00:45:25.814 --> 00:45:28.082
Sleep on the textbook.
00:45:28.082 --> 00:45:29.117
I know, and, and i remember it became such a,
00:45:29.117 --> 00:45:34.022
A challenge for me because here, and my, my youngest wanted
00:45:34.022 --> 00:45:39.027
To be in school.
00:45:39.027 --> 00:45:40.562
He needed that.
00:45:40.562 --> 00:45:41.930
He's a social guy, social stuff.
00:45:41.930 --> 00:45:44.265
Our kids went to school together.
00:45:44.265 --> 00:45:45.733
And so they were very kind of excluded from having a lot of
00:45:45.733 --> 00:45:51.039
Relationships with kids their age and stuff.
00:45:51.039 --> 00:45:53.675
And man, there were times that not only did i kind of get it
00:45:53.675 --> 00:45:57.478
From him, like, i want to be have my friends, and i would
00:45:57.478 --> 00:46:00.982
Think, god, you have got to help me.
00:46:00.982 --> 00:46:03.318
And i was the worst homeschool mother on the planet. i am she.
00:46:03.318 --> 00:46:07.622
I win the award for that,
00:46:07.622 --> 00:46:10.592
But i felt so insufficient as the word and and thinking, my
00:46:10.592 --> 00:46:15.430
Kids aren't even getting an education here, except that
00:46:15.430 --> 00:46:18.233
They're traveling the world.
00:46:18.233 --> 00:46:20.735
And so they're learning so much more intangible real life ways.
00:46:20.735 --> 00:46:27.475
And they're at work with us.
00:46:27.475 --> 00:46:29.611
They're, you know, watching the things that.
00:46:29.611 --> 00:46:32.247
And so they're growing up and the things they're going to be
00:46:32.247 --> 00:46:35.116
Doing here and taking over in a while.
00:46:35.116 --> 00:46:38.119
And, and i just had to rely on god and say, god, you've got to
00:46:38.119 --> 00:46:44.425
Help me raise my kids in what they're supposed to do and
00:46:44.425 --> 00:46:48.997
Teach them what i can't when,
00:46:48.997 --> 00:46:51.566
When i feel so unable to do that.
00:46:51.566 --> 00:46:54.469
And god did that for me.
00:46:54.469 --> 00:46:57.038
That is god working on my behalf as a mother to raise my
00:46:57.038 --> 00:47:02.343
Kids, and he'll do it for me.
00:47:02.343 --> 00:47:03.945
If he does it for me, he'll do it for you, i promise you.
00:47:03.945 --> 00:47:07.882
All of us feel unqualified, unqualified to do
00:47:07.882 --> 00:47:13.154
Whatever it is god's asked us to do.
00:47:13.154 --> 00:47:14.722
And sometimes, like when we're
00:47:14.722 --> 00:47:17.325
A parent, we definitely feel unqualified.
00:47:17.325 --> 00:47:19.894
And then i, i felt unqualified the first time i was going to
00:47:19.894 --> 00:47:24.232
Teach a message. i felt unqualified
00:47:24.232 --> 00:47:26.801
The first time i was going to
00:47:26.801 --> 00:47:27.902
Write a book. i felt unqualified
00:47:27.902 --> 00:47:30.071
The first time i was hosting a conference. i just i felt
00:47:30.071 --> 00:47:32.273
Unqualified in all of them.
00:47:32.273 --> 00:47:34.108
And the thing that's great about that is then when it all
00:47:34.108 --> 00:47:38.746
Turns out, he gets the glory, right?
00:47:38.746 --> 00:47:40.748
He gets the credit, he gets the glory.
00:47:40.748 --> 00:47:42.283
So i just want to encourage you that if you're in a situation
00:47:42.283 --> 00:47:44.919
And you feel unqualified, you're in great company or
00:47:44.919 --> 00:47:48.022
You're in great company, because then we have the honor
00:47:48.022 --> 00:47:50.358
And the privilege to put our our trust in god, which is the
00:47:50.358 --> 00:47:54.762
Only place our trust belongs, right?
00:47:54.762 --> 00:47:56.831
We get a chance to put our trust in god that that he's
00:47:56.831 --> 00:47:59.133
Going to see us through it, and he will give us the abilities
00:47:59.133 --> 00:48:02.337
That we need to fulfill what he's asked us to do.
00:48:02.337 --> 00:48:05.707
So don't beat yourself up for feeling unqualified,
00:48:05.707 --> 00:48:07.675
Because we all do.
00:48:07.675 --> 00:48:09.711
But isn't it a beautiful thing
00:48:09.711 --> 00:48:11.446
That god will never leave us alone?
00:48:11.446 --> 00:48:13.681
That's right. he'll never forsake us.
00:48:13.681 --> 00:48:15.783
He's right there with us, to guide us and to direct us,
00:48:15.783 --> 00:48:19.253
To cause us to win in every area of life.
00:48:19.253 --> 00:48:23.257
All we have to do is acknowledge him.
00:48:23.257 --> 00:48:25.693
Yeah. i mean, again, it's not about any mom being perfect,
00:48:25.693 --> 00:48:30.331
But just being present, being a faithful mom, being committed
00:48:30.331 --> 00:48:34.335
To the assignment because it's an assignment and you gotta
00:48:34.335 --> 00:48:38.039
Enjoy the assignment.
00:48:38.039 --> 00:48:39.540
If you don't enjoy it, you're not going to do your best.
00:48:39.540 --> 00:48:42.110
But you got to determine, i'm going to enjoy this process
00:48:42.110 --> 00:48:46.080
Regardless of how it looks, because the end can always come
00:48:46.080 --> 00:48:49.817
Out better than the process, right?
00:48:49.817 --> 00:48:52.120
And so i think we should just pray for those that are
00:48:52.120 --> 00:48:54.756
Viewing, because i'm sure there are some moms that are going
00:48:54.756 --> 00:48:57.492
Through some things.
00:48:57.492 --> 00:48:58.593
They're feeling inadequate..
00:48:58.593 --> 00:48:59.794
They're feeling it's like, yes, help, lord jesus, help!
00:48:59.794 --> 00:49:03.131
So father, in the name of jesus, we give you praise,
00:49:03.131 --> 00:49:05.833
Glory and honor.
00:49:05.833 --> 00:49:06.768
We lift up every mom.
00:49:06.768 --> 00:49:08.870
Father, we thank you that you will allow her to know that she
00:49:08.870 --> 00:49:12.140
Is equipped because you will guide her.
00:49:12.140 --> 00:49:15.243
You have already placed in each and every last one of us all
00:49:15.243 --> 00:49:19.680
Those things that pertain to life and godliness.
00:49:19.680 --> 00:49:23.885
Father, i thank you that you are perfecting those things
00:49:23.885 --> 00:49:26.788
That concerns us.
00:49:26.788 --> 00:49:28.623
We cast every care upon you, father.
00:49:28.623 --> 00:49:32.260
Allow them to have a vision of how their in will be.
00:49:32.260 --> 00:49:37.165
That way they will be able to endure whatever it is that they
00:49:37.165 --> 00:49:40.868
Have to endure.
00:49:40.868 --> 00:49:42.236
Father and i thank you for
00:49:42.236 --> 00:49:43.504
Kingdom work for this kingdom assignment.
00:49:43.504 --> 00:49:46.474
And we give you praise, glory, and honor,
00:49:46.474 --> 00:49:48.810
For your joy is our strength, and your grace is sufficient.
00:49:48.810 --> 00:49:53.781
In jesus' name, amen.
00:49:53.781 --> 00:49:56.517
Amen, amen.
00:49:56.517 --> 00:49:59.754
Connect with us on social media and let us know how
00:49:59.754 --> 00:50:02.290
Our team can pray for you.
00:50:02.290 --> 00:50:06.394
It's funny because you can have
00:50:09.497 --> 00:50:11.032
All of the education in the world.
00:50:11.032 --> 00:50:13.201
I mean, i have my master's in counseling, but nothing
00:50:13.201 --> 00:50:16.137
Prepares you for being a mom and all of the complexities.
00:50:16.137 --> 00:50:21.309
And thank god we don't have to rely on our resume'.
00:50:21.309 --> 00:50:25.413
We only need to rely on the holy spirit.
00:50:25.413 --> 00:50:28.416
And i would say that has been the guiding light in my life.
00:50:28.416 --> 00:50:31.385
Not my education, not my textbooks, but the holy spirit
00:50:31.385 --> 00:50:37.859
At work in my life and god's unchanging truth.
00:50:37.859 --> 00:50:41.295
So keep that at the forefront.
00:50:41.295 --> 00:50:43.798
It's your guiding light.
00:50:43.798 --> 00:50:46.601
Stream full episodes of better together on demand.
00:50:46.601 --> 00:50:50.338
Go to bettertogether.tv to
00:50:50.338 --> 00:50:52.507
Stream all of our latest conversations.
00:50:52.507 --> 00:50:56.043
♪♪
00:50:56.043 --> 00:50:56.043

How God Equips Moms | Better Together Episode 1161

May 4, 2026 | S8 E1161 | 50:59

Closed captions

Share