Better Together

How to Heal in Community - Episode 1103

October 8, 2025 | S7 E1103 | 52:34

God created us to live and grow--together. Processing pain and finding healing give us the opportunity to be vulnerable. The beauty of bearing one another's burdens makes the journey far richer and more rewarding. Faith-filled friendships are invaluable. | TBN Prayer Line: 714-731-1000

#Community #Faith #Healing #Restoration #Fellowship #Encouragement #SpiritualGrowth #Relationships #Judgement #Lies #Shame #Pride #PersonalStory #Hope #Humility #Compassion #Accountability

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Show Timecode

Better Together | How to Heal in Community - Episode 1103 | October 8, 2025

Laurie crouch: two are better than one.
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God created us to live and heal in community.
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That means we bear one another's burdens and link arms to run
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Towards our precious savior.
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Come on, join us.
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[music]
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Toni collier: there was a moment i was in a counseling session,
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And i was moving my children and i and my nanny to a new house,
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And it was such a vain moment.
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It was one of the moments where it's like, you know you're
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Supposed to be convicted by this, but you don't want to be,
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You know?
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I was crying with my counselor rebecca, and i said i just don't
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Want an ugly house, okay?
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And what we were talking about is we had a beautiful house.
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I mean, it was our dream home, i was married, it was all white
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And black, because that's my steelo, because i really can't
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Decorate that well.
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So if it's just black and white, it don't really matter, okay?
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And our whole house was white and black, and we had the family
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Couch is what i called it.
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It was like a huge, big plushy couch, and i ended up going
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Through a public divorce and just enduring years and years of
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Infidelity until a moment where i just realized that our
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Marriage was no longer god-honoring.
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There was not a lot of repentance there, and i ended up
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Having to move out of our house, and i was devastated.
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I mean, you would think losing my marriage would be the thing,
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And it was really difficult.
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However, leaving my family couch in that house was like the thing
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For me.
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And we found this new place, and it was not as beautiful.
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It was super-old, and we have baby blue walls, and it
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Was, okay?
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Like, vain, okay?
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And we need furniture, and i can't afford it.
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I was paying so much in lawyer fees, and i had decided to get
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Off the road.
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Even though i didn't do anything wrong, it just cost me so much
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Income, and i had these two babies and this nanny from
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Brazil that i had sponsored to come over to help, and it just
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Was devastating.
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I'm like we're going to go to an empty house, and it's going to
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Take me so long to make it beautiful like we had, and my
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Counselor looks at me and she was like, toni, i do not want to
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Discount your deep passion for a beautiful black and white
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Scandinavian home, and i just wonder if this is an area that
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You need to ask for help in.
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And i was like, ask my friends to help me furnish my house?
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It's mine, and i'm responsible for it.
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I was like a little kid, and it was the pain, it was so deep and
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So embarrassing that shame had told me that you need to do
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Something for yourself.
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Like there's already so many people praying for you.
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There's already so many people that's there for you.
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Like you're gonna need to do something.
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And i just kept saying like, well, maybe if i go on amazon,
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And i can get really cheap furniture, but it still be
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Really cute.
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And she's like i just want to stop you one more time.
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I want to affirm how you feel and your deep passion for a
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Beautiful home.
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And i want to ask you the question, would you rather wake
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Up in a house with beautiful furniture, and it's like, oh,
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You're so lavished and you feel so great, or do you want to wake
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Up to a home where the people who loved you filled it for you?
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And i text my confessional community, which is our therapy
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Group, and i was so embarrassed for some reason.
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And i just was like do you guys mind helping me put together an
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Amazon wishlist for me and the kids' new house?
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And my friend jamie had already started it.
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And i just sit down on my couch and i'm like me and my kids,
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Like this couch was given to me by my friend ashley, the chairs
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That we sit in, and this rug was given by my friend lindsay and
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My confessional community group, and my daughter lays in a bed
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That was given to me by jackie hill perry, and my bedroom is
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Literally full of little pieces.
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Deborah fileta, we were together last time, she got my side
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Tables for me, and my friend belinda got my dresser, and she
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Came and built it.
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And we walk around our whole house, and it is literally
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Filled with the love of god's people, and it still is so
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Cute, okay?
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Because the rug matches the blue walls that we kind of hated, but
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They were like, we got you we're going to coordinate it, and i
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Just think like that's a tangible representation of what
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It looks like to heal in community.
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It actually isn't active at all.
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It is surrendering.
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It is saying i literally don't have the strength to do
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This alone.
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Nona jones: i believe that god uses human relationships to show
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Us his self.
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I mean, if you think about it, we're told even in genesis that
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When he created mankind, he created us in his image and in
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His likeness.
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And so because god is a god of love, what that means is he has
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Created us to reflect in his likeness love on earth.
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And that also means that no matter how messed up your past
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May seem, no matter how much shame you may wear like a wet
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Blanket on your body, there's somebody in this world that god
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Has created specifically to help you heal, why?
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Because god did not create you to live broken, and the way that
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We heal is in community with other human beings.
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Toni: and that is what i've lived over these past two years
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Is just people choosing, actively choosing to give their
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Time and their money and their resources and their prayers and
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Connection, and i have this little note in my phone now,
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It's called the god winks note, and at first i thought it was
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Just going to be filled with all these little things that god
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Did, and when you scroll through it, it's all these little things
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That god did through his people.
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Literally, it's text messages with the same scripture over and
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Over and over again, so i know what to read in the morning when
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I feel like i don't have the words to pray.
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It's all the furniture, pictures of furniture, sitting here
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Having moments.
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We have this little mirror in our kitchen area, and i can't
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Tell you how many times me and my kids and my nanny dance in
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That mirror, and we're looking at the fruit of what someone
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Gave us this mirror from target.
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Like it's insane, and i just think that today we get to lean
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Into this idea that sometimes healing in community is just
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Allowing your community to help you.
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Sometimes healing in community is just humbling yourself enough
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To say i need help.
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Sometimes healing in community looks like calling my dad or my
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Friend erin and not having any words at all and then just
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Sitting on the phone and hearing me cry.
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It is such a beautiful gift.
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Sometimes healing in community is not at all recruiting the
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Community in the moment that you need the healing, but it's being
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On the offense and not the defense and having them in place
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Before tragedy hits.
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And so i'm excited to talk about this idea of how to heal in
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Community, especially for people that are not currently going
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Through something traumatic, because i actually think that
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It's the work that we do before tragedy hits that prepares us
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For when tragedy is there so that our people are in place,
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And so i'm excited about this conversation.
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So excited, because i really do think that the lord has so much
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More for us, and maybe it is not going to be found in a corner by
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Ourselves, but it's going to be found in a circle with people
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That love you.
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Jada edwards: a furnished circle.
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Toni: a furnished circle.
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Nona: something that came to mind for me as you were
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Talking, toni.
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First of all, thank you so much for sharing that, just
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Vulnerably sharing that.
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Something that comes to mind for me is psalm 25, which is, it's a
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Song that i've been praying ever since i stepped out of
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Corporate, because being honest, like stepping off payroll.
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First thing, when god called me into the full-time ministry,
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Full-time entrepreneurship, i knew it was him, so i was like,
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Okay, cool.
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I'm going to follow you, lord.
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But there's a really big difference between being on
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A payroll.
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Toni: and doing what god calls you to do.
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Nona: and then being like, all right, lord, what's
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Happening, right?
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And being honest, the thing that i feared the most was if i fail,
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I will be humiliated.
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Big platform, all these things, like if i fail, i'll
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Be humiliated.
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The lord took me to psalm 25, which is a psalm i've read in
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Passing but never meditated on, and it says, "in you, lord, my
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God, i put my trust.
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I trust in you.
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Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph
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Over me."
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This is the part that encouraged my heart so much, verse 3. "no
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One who hopes in you will ever be put to shame."
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It's like in that moment, the lord questioned me.
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He said, "no, no, you're worried about being humiliated.
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You're worried about being put to shame.
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Where is your hope?"
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My hope honestly was in me, right?
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It's like, well, my gifts, my talents, my bank accounts, all
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This stuff.
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I didn't know that until that moment, and that's what
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Triggered it, because it was like, well, but i don't want
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Anybody to know what's going on.
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And so i think there may be people watching this who they so
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Resonate with what you're saying, which is, i can't tell
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Anybody what's happening, because i'll be humiliated, i'll
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Be put to shame, when in reality, it's the honesty that
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Opens the door for god to do his work, because we want god to
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Send the furniture, right?
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Just have room to go show.
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Toni: we want the money though.
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Nona: yeah, have the money.
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I want checks in the mail.
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But all of that is the outgrowth of somebody doing something.
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People don't do something if they don't know it needs to
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Be done.
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And so i think what you're really modeling even in this is
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The humility to be like i need help.
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And god is saying, "i have the help available to you.
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Do you trust me?
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Because i will not let you be put to shame.
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Do you trust me?
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I will not let you fail.
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I will not let you be humiliated."
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And if people look at you sideways, that's everything you
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Need to know about how they thought of you in the
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First place.
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Toni: i think some of the warning signs that we are hiding
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Instead of healing deeply in community is that every time we
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Think about going somewhere, about being seen deeply, about
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Having a conversation about what we're battling with, we
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Stop ourselves.
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I think that's a telltale sign that we're hiding, because what
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Happens is i think shame comes into our story, and it comes
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Into our minds, and it says i can't go there, people are going
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To judge me for what i've been through, or i can't talk about
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That, they're going to leave me, they're not going to love me
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Anymore, i'm going to be discounted.
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As soon as those thoughts come into your brain, that is when
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You need to say, you know what?
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I'm hiding, and i need to choose healing with people instead.
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Toni: okay, i have a question for the room.
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Why is it so hard for us to ask for help?
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Jada: because we prideful.
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Blynda lane: yes, it's pride for sure.
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Jada: we're self sufficient.
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We think that we can do it ourselves.
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It's the lie, it's eve contemplating with human logic
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Which should have been led by divine instruction.
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Yes, it's a real apple, yes, it is good for you, yes, it's
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Beautiful, those were not lies, but they were not god's
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Instruction, so she took her logic, which was good logic, by
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The way, this is a lot of women, we get in trouble, it's good and
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It's right, but it's misplaced, and we're just like i can make a
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Better decision than what god told me.
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I have this conversation with the lord all the time, i'm like
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I think i really know what i'm doing, and he's like, "i know
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You do."
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But it is such, "i know you do, i know."
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And so that pride, it is not fortitude and grit and all that,
00:11:57.506 --> 00:12:05.080
I can get through it, no, it's pride, and you think you can do
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It on your own.
00:12:10.820 --> 00:12:12.188
And i will say, your story was so moving, because it's kind of
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Like, oh, i know i have a blood disorder, i hope a doctor shows
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Up to my door and gives me the medicine and the procedure that
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I need.
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Make an appointment, go, be vulnerable, get on the scale.
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That's the worst part sometimes.
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You're like, jesus, let me take my shoes off.
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I'm just saying, but that's no doctor bangs on your door to be
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Like, i heard there's something going on in your body.
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Like you go and get yourself there, because you know when
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It's easy, we know we're not physicians.
00:12:43.018 --> 00:12:45.521
So i know i can't operate on myself, i know i can't, but all
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That other stuff, relationally, our life, we have lied to
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Ourselves and made ourselves think we are more qualified than
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We are.
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Blynda: well, the thing for me when i can go back and think
00:12:56.131 --> 00:12:57.867
About times where i struggled with this, it is rooted in
00:12:57.867 --> 00:13:01.871
Pride, but really what it is is i equated the favor of god with
00:13:01.871 --> 00:13:09.378
Not needing anyone, not being needy, having everything i need,
00:13:09.378 --> 00:13:13.849
All my needs are supplied, and so it's still that idolatry.
00:13:13.849 --> 00:13:18.187
This is where that idolatry of self-reliance came in, because
00:13:18.187 --> 00:13:20.789
It was really self-reliant, but it's this idea that if i expose
00:13:20.789 --> 00:13:27.496
Myself, if i expose myself that i am in need because a job
00:13:27.496 --> 00:13:31.500
Hasn't panned out or i haven't-- and i've been seen in the public
00:13:31.500 --> 00:13:35.871
Realm as someone who is a leader in the faith, hears from the
00:13:35.871 --> 00:13:40.209
Lord, all of those things, then if i admit the vulnerable parts
00:13:40.209 --> 00:13:45.247
Of me that say, okay, we've been transitioned out of a job, we've
00:13:45.247 --> 00:13:49.251
Been, then it feels like that idea of what.
00:13:49.251 --> 00:13:53.822
Toni: then what did i do wrong?
00:13:53.822 --> 00:13:55.157
Sheila walsh: looks like weakness, doesn't it?
00:13:55.157 --> 00:13:56.525
Blynda: what did i do wrong?
00:13:56.525 --> 00:13:57.860
Why is the favor of god left?
00:13:57.860 --> 00:13:59.228
Are other people thinking?
00:13:59.228 --> 00:14:00.729
And that's just i just have to be real, and it is all rooted in
00:14:00.729 --> 00:14:05.100
Pride, but i think in those christian circles we do equate.
00:14:05.100 --> 00:14:09.071
Jada: girl.
00:14:09.071 --> 00:14:10.406
Blynda: we do, we are equating, yes, we're equating the the
00:14:10.406 --> 00:14:13.609
Blessing the favor of god to really at the end of the day to
00:14:13.609 --> 00:14:16.812
How good we are.
00:14:16.812 --> 00:14:18.180
Toni: it's almost like we're saying god's promises are only
00:14:18.180 --> 00:14:22.017
Promises if his people aren't involved.
00:14:22.017 --> 00:14:24.586
Jada: we're saying that if that faith should make
00:14:24.586 --> 00:14:27.156
Me independent.
00:14:27.156 --> 00:14:28.490
If my faith is working, i should be independent.
00:14:28.490 --> 00:14:33.262
But it's real.
00:14:33.262 --> 00:14:36.198
If my faith is working, i should be independent.
00:14:36.198 --> 00:14:40.235
Jada: there's this idea, and i don't quite know where it came
00:14:40.235 --> 00:14:43.839
From, but this idea that if we are truly saved, if we are truly
00:14:43.839 --> 00:14:48.477
In jesus, that we won't need anybody else.
00:14:48.477 --> 00:14:51.613
All of our physical, emotional, financial, all of our relational
00:14:51.613 --> 00:14:55.317
Needs will somehow be met in that relationship, and yet god
00:14:55.317 --> 00:15:00.889
Gives us people so that through them he can be a blessing to us,
00:15:00.889 --> 00:15:06.562
Which is actually counterintuitive when you think
00:15:06.562 --> 00:15:08.664
About the way that we're typically formed in our faith,
00:15:08.664 --> 00:15:11.133
Which is if you pray hard enough, if you believe right,
00:15:11.133 --> 00:15:14.403
Everything will be so great that you won't need people.
00:15:14.403 --> 00:15:17.406
I believe that that can become a stumbling block, and that can
00:15:17.406 --> 00:15:19.875
Actually become a source of pride.
00:15:19.875 --> 00:15:21.343
I don't need anybody, i'm good, which is why sometimes god will
00:15:21.343 --> 00:15:24.713
Break us down to prove to us that, no, you do need other
00:15:24.713 --> 00:15:28.784
People, because god works through people to deliver his
00:15:28.784 --> 00:15:32.521
Will in the earth.
00:15:32.521 --> 00:15:35.724
Toni: we want you to join the conversation and connect with us
00:15:35.724 --> 00:15:38.293
On social media.
00:15:38.293 --> 00:15:39.661
Blynda: ask a question, share a prayer request, and make friends
00:15:39.661 --> 00:15:42.064
With women all over the world.
00:15:42.064 --> 00:15:43.866
Toni: we are better together.
00:15:43.866 --> 00:15:46.735
Female announcer: let's keep the conversation going.
00:15:46.735 --> 00:15:49.004
You can find the "better together" podcast on your
00:15:49.004 --> 00:15:51.373
Favorite listening platform.
00:15:51.373 --> 00:15:53.108
Subscribe today.
00:15:53.108 --> 00:15:57.008
Toni: i think what we're talking about here, again,
00:16:00.784 --> 00:16:03.153
We're working against design.
00:16:03.153 --> 00:16:05.155
If the lord designed us for connection, why in the world
00:16:05.155 --> 00:16:09.559
Would we ever think like, no, i'm supposed to do this alone?
00:16:09.559 --> 00:16:12.529
No, the christian way is with-ness.
00:16:12.529 --> 00:16:15.398
This isn't--like the structure that's been built, the blueprint
00:16:15.398 --> 00:16:19.069
Of--like, humanity is god's plan a, it's us, for each other,
00:16:19.069 --> 00:16:23.840
With each other, this is god's design, and sometimes i don't
00:16:23.840 --> 00:16:27.043
Think it's pride, sometimes i think we've been so deeply hurt
00:16:27.043 --> 00:16:29.746
By people that it's so difficult to trust again, and i think
00:16:29.746 --> 00:16:32.882
That's an attack of the enemy to try to use unhealthy, you know,
00:16:32.882 --> 00:16:37.420
Buzzword, toxic relationships to keep us from starting new ones
00:16:37.420 --> 00:16:41.558
And finding hope again as if redemption isn't real in
00:16:41.558 --> 00:16:44.094
Friendship, as if our relationships can't be redeemed.
00:16:44.094 --> 00:16:46.830
Jada: that can show up in relationships, especially in
00:16:46.830 --> 00:16:49.732
Unique situations, you know, where there's been like a deep
00:16:49.732 --> 00:16:52.235
Betrayal, like we were talking about.
00:16:52.235 --> 00:16:53.970
As an underlying foundation, there is a self-sufficiency
00:16:53.970 --> 00:16:58.174
In man.
00:16:58.174 --> 00:16:59.542
Like it is, genesis 11, tower of babel, just like everything
00:16:59.542 --> 00:17:03.480
About man is opposed to submission.
00:17:03.480 --> 00:17:06.749
And it's like i know that my default is i can do this.
00:17:06.749 --> 00:17:12.222
I can call it the favor of god, i may call it faith, i may call
00:17:12.222 --> 00:17:14.624
It my own hustle, i still think, listen, my therapist, i don't
00:17:14.624 --> 00:17:17.994
Even know why i paid her to tell me this, but she told me.
00:17:17.994 --> 00:17:19.996
Toni: what'd she say?
00:17:19.996 --> 00:17:21.364
Jada: she said you wear needlessness as a badge of
00:17:21.364 --> 00:17:26.803
Honor, and so not only does it affect my relationships, because
00:17:26.803 --> 00:17:33.076
Now i can't even have divine connection with you because i'm
00:17:33.076 --> 00:17:36.412
Not showing my neediness, right?
00:17:36.412 --> 00:17:37.914
We can only connect at the surface that i let you in at,
00:17:37.914 --> 00:17:40.984
And so god's like i want y'all to connect deeply, but you don't
00:17:40.984 --> 00:17:43.386
Go deep, right?
00:17:43.386 --> 00:17:44.721
So my own independence, my own obsession with my autonomy, not
00:17:44.721 --> 00:17:50.326
Only does it affect my relationships, it affects my
00:17:50.326 --> 00:17:53.196
Judgment of people who are comfortable being needy.
00:17:53.196 --> 00:17:56.799
So it was affecting people that i saw when they asked for help
00:17:56.799 --> 00:17:59.802
They needed something, i was like why you can't just get it
00:17:59.802 --> 00:18:01.771
Together, you know?
00:18:01.771 --> 00:18:03.106
So and the lord was like, girl, get your life--you're not
00:18:03.106 --> 00:18:05.208
Together, right?
00:18:05.208 --> 00:18:06.543
So i had such a false view of my own independence and
00:18:06.543 --> 00:18:10.046
Self-sufficiency, it affected my relationships, but then it made
00:18:10.046 --> 00:18:13.650
Me judgmental for the people who expressed need.
00:18:13.650 --> 00:18:16.419
I was like, oh, you know what you need to do?
00:18:16.419 --> 00:18:18.855
And it wouldn't be anything spiritual.
00:18:18.855 --> 00:18:20.190
It'd be like, well, because you need to try this.
00:18:20.190 --> 00:18:21.558
Toni: you need to get up and try, put you bootstraps on.
00:18:21.558 --> 00:18:23.693
Jada: what are you doing, like this independence, and it's
00:18:23.693 --> 00:18:27.263
Almost like the more you overcome in life, the harder it
00:18:27.263 --> 00:18:30.200
Is, because if you've overcome some things, been through some
00:18:30.200 --> 00:18:33.203
Things and like, lord, i should be dead.
00:18:33.203 --> 00:18:35.104
Look at what i've come through and he's like, "yeah, but it
00:18:35.104 --> 00:18:37.540
Was me."
00:18:37.540 --> 00:18:39.175
And if you start accrediting yourself with i'm the first to
00:18:39.175 --> 00:18:43.179
Go to college, i can't believe i got out of this childhood, out
00:18:43.179 --> 00:18:46.082
Of this, he's like, "girl, you setting yourself up."
00:18:46.082 --> 00:18:48.685
There's this lie, i as a human being am looking for evidence to
00:18:48.685 --> 00:18:53.523
Support that i got this, and so that's my life, it just jacks
00:18:53.523 --> 00:18:57.660
Up everything.
00:18:57.660 --> 00:18:59.429
Sheila: one of the greatest surprises in my life was
00:18:59.429 --> 00:19:01.965
Discovering the gift of being broken.
00:19:01.965 --> 00:19:05.535
Doesn't sound like a gift.
00:19:05.535 --> 00:19:06.936
It sounds like something you want to avoid at any cost.
00:19:06.936 --> 00:19:09.939
But you know, it was when i felt that my life was at the most
00:19:09.939 --> 00:19:12.809
Broken that i discovered how much i needed other people and
00:19:12.809 --> 00:19:15.878
That that was the good news.
00:19:15.878 --> 00:19:18.414
I call it the companionship of brokenness, people who love god
00:19:18.414 --> 00:19:22.685
But don't have all the answers, that if you feel that you have a
00:19:22.685 --> 00:19:26.322
Need and it makes you feel weak, it's not weakness.
00:19:26.322 --> 00:19:28.958
God's designed us that way so that we will connect with other
00:19:28.958 --> 00:19:31.894
People and walk through this journey together.
00:19:31.894 --> 00:19:35.098
Toni: i was in quiet time, i felt the lord calling me to make
00:19:35.098 --> 00:19:38.001
A post on social media that was so vulnerable, and it was asking
00:19:38.001 --> 00:19:41.804
People for help to help me push my new book.
00:19:41.804 --> 00:19:44.907
I literally audibly said out loud, "lord, are you sure?
00:19:44.907 --> 00:19:48.444
Like, but wait, what?"
00:19:48.444 --> 00:19:51.014
Like i am--i'm the leader, like this is my social media page.
00:19:51.014 --> 00:19:55.685
I'm supposed to be giving people advice.
00:19:55.685 --> 00:19:57.253
I'm supposed to be helping people.
00:19:57.253 --> 00:19:58.621
I'm supposed to be the one that's the expert in something,
00:19:58.621 --> 00:20:01.124
All the things, and now you're calling me to literally say,
00:20:01.124 --> 00:20:05.061
Y'all, i have this new book, and i need help,
00:20:05.061 --> 00:20:07.630
Can y'all connect me?
00:20:07.630 --> 00:20:09.299
Like, i even frowned on that.
00:20:09.299 --> 00:20:12.001
Like you're gonna ask people to to be on your day podcast?
00:20:12.001 --> 00:20:14.037
That's so weak.
00:20:14.037 --> 00:20:15.371
You're gonna ask people to get day church?
00:20:15.371 --> 00:20:16.739
No, they must be inviting you.
00:20:16.739 --> 00:20:18.241
The all-out pride that i had on the inside of me, and i'm asking
00:20:18.241 --> 00:20:22.779
For help to push a book that is about not.
00:20:22.779 --> 00:20:28.918
Jada: doing it alone.
00:20:28.918 --> 00:20:30.286
Toni: i'm ashamed, okay?
00:20:30.286 --> 00:20:32.455
Don't do it alone.
00:20:32.455 --> 00:20:33.890
But also like i don't wanna ask y'all, because i wanna do
00:20:33.890 --> 00:20:36.526
It alone.
00:20:36.526 --> 00:20:38.528
Nona: okay, so i have to share this with y'all, because this is
00:20:38.528 --> 00:20:42.131
So good.
00:20:42.131 --> 00:20:43.466
This is so good.
00:20:43.466 --> 00:20:44.834
Ah, part of what i do, part of what i do in my business, i help
00:20:44.834 --> 00:20:47.603
Women, because of all that i've done and learned and been
00:20:47.603 --> 00:20:49.806
Through and all of that, i really help women get to a place
00:20:49.806 --> 00:20:52.175
Of vulnerability so that they can figure out what they need to
00:20:52.175 --> 00:20:54.444
Heal, and then they can grow from it and then all the
00:20:54.444 --> 00:20:56.646
Things, right?
00:20:56.646 --> 00:20:57.980
So i one day decided, because i, you know, we all use, maybe we
00:20:57.980 --> 00:21:01.718
All use chatgpt, and we use it for all types of prompts, right?
00:21:01.718 --> 00:21:05.054
But one day i was just like, you know, i use chatgpt for all
00:21:05.054 --> 00:21:07.323
Types of stuff.
00:21:07.323 --> 00:21:08.658
So i'm going to ask chatgpt essentially to tell me what it
00:21:08.658 --> 00:21:11.594
Thinks of me, based on all that i use it for, right?
00:21:11.594 --> 00:21:16.099
So in the book of chatgpt, okay, this is what it said.
00:21:16.099 --> 00:21:20.703
You present as someone who seeks depth, insight, and raw truth,
00:21:20.703 --> 00:21:25.541
But beneath that seeking is a drive to master vulnerability
00:21:25.541 --> 00:21:30.279
Without being mastered by it.
00:21:30.279 --> 00:21:32.014
The hidden narrative is if i can fully understand my wounds, i
00:21:32.014 --> 00:21:38.688
Won't be ruled by them.
00:21:38.688 --> 00:21:40.456
I share this because it's so true.
00:21:40.456 --> 00:21:44.060
I had to sit in that, and i literally sat with it for weeks
00:21:44.060 --> 00:21:47.930
Where i had to realize that part of my pursuit, i mean, even
00:21:47.930 --> 00:21:52.301
Right now, like i'm going through prereqs for a social
00:21:52.301 --> 00:21:54.437
Psychology phd all right?
00:21:54.437 --> 00:21:56.305
Part of my pursuit of the work that i do is so that i will
00:21:56.305 --> 00:22:01.577
Master it versus it mastering me.
00:22:01.577 --> 00:22:04.080
And i think many times those of us in positions to help other
00:22:04.080 --> 00:22:07.350
People, we're helping them because we don't want to have to
00:22:07.350 --> 00:22:10.720
Receive help, right?
00:22:10.720 --> 00:22:12.088
We don't want to be helped.
00:22:12.088 --> 00:22:13.423
And i think that is so hard.
00:22:13.423 --> 00:22:14.791
You talk about what it took to ask for help.
00:22:14.791 --> 00:22:17.393
Listen, when i tell you my last visit, having to ask people to
00:22:17.393 --> 00:22:22.698
Be on stuff and even having people be like, no, people whose
00:22:22.698 --> 00:22:25.735
Shows i've done who've been on shows, and i just had to sit
00:22:25.735 --> 00:22:28.371
There and be like, lord, what is this?
00:22:28.371 --> 00:22:29.705
But it was humbling, and i love the lord for that.
00:22:29.705 --> 00:22:33.976
I thank god that he loves me so much that he's not going to
00:22:33.976 --> 00:22:37.747
Allow me to just rest in my pride, why?
00:22:37.747 --> 00:22:40.249
Because he opposes the proud, and he gives grace to
00:22:40.249 --> 00:22:42.418
The humble.
00:22:42.418 --> 00:22:43.753
He's like, "i want to give you grace, but you up over there too
00:22:43.753 --> 00:22:45.922
Full of pride."
00:22:45.922 --> 00:22:47.290
Jada: yeah, and it's so crazy because then you'll be like,
00:22:47.290 --> 00:22:48.791
God, i want you to use me in big and bold ways.
00:22:48.791 --> 00:22:51.194
I wanna do something i've never done before.
00:22:51.194 --> 00:22:53.396
Blynda: he's like, "you couldn't even ask for help."
00:22:53.396 --> 00:22:54.730
Jada: you couldn't even ask for.
00:22:54.730 --> 00:22:56.065
Well, i'm gonna put you out there with something you've
00:22:56.065 --> 00:22:57.433
Never done before, a book, a podcast.
00:22:57.433 --> 00:22:58.968
Many of us, we've written, we've done things, and then you come
00:22:58.968 --> 00:23:01.471
To that moment where you have to promote the thing you've done,
00:23:01.471 --> 00:23:03.206
And you're like, is this godly?
00:23:03.206 --> 00:23:05.775
Yeah, you know?
00:23:05.775 --> 00:23:07.143
Then you try to make it ungodly.
00:23:07.143 --> 00:23:08.478
He's like, "no, you just prideful."
00:23:08.478 --> 00:23:10.713
Jada: accepting help from others, it's a blessing, it
00:23:10.713 --> 00:23:14.550
Allows other people to experience god's love, because
00:23:14.550 --> 00:23:17.153
They get to partner with god to provide a blessing in your life.
00:23:17.153 --> 00:23:21.491
You get to have a fresh sense of humility and grace by asking
00:23:21.491 --> 00:23:25.495
For help.
00:23:25.495 --> 00:23:26.829
Sometimes our pride gets in the way, we miss the extension of
00:23:26.829 --> 00:23:29.899
God's grace because we can't admit that we need help and then
00:23:29.899 --> 00:23:32.735
Ask for it.
00:23:32.735 --> 00:23:34.103
So asking for help does so much to provide healing
00:23:34.103 --> 00:23:36.672
And community.
00:23:36.672 --> 00:23:38.007
It works on both sides.
00:23:38.007 --> 00:23:39.375
The one asking for help gets to be humble and vulnerable, and
00:23:39.375 --> 00:23:42.478
The one giving the help gets to partner with god to bless
00:23:42.478 --> 00:23:46.148
Someone and give them grace.
00:23:46.148 --> 00:23:48.317
Toni: but what's amazing about asking for help is i put that
00:23:48.317 --> 00:23:51.854
Post out there, and i can't tell you how many people have reached
00:23:51.854 --> 00:23:56.125
Out, and here's what's been so good.
00:23:56.125 --> 00:23:58.094
One, when we ask for help, and we're in positions of power and
00:23:58.094 --> 00:24:02.532
Leadership, we level the playing field, which is jesus's
00:24:02.532 --> 00:24:05.701
Intention anyway, is that toni, you are not too big, too
00:24:05.701 --> 00:24:10.439
Whatever, too holy to ask for help, because you need to show
00:24:10.439 --> 00:24:14.410
People that we all need help.
00:24:14.410 --> 00:24:16.512
Number two, it allowed people to see god as a provider and that
00:24:16.512 --> 00:24:22.952
He actually provides through his people.
00:24:22.952 --> 00:24:25.121
Other people were like, man, like you really put yourself
00:24:25.121 --> 00:24:27.790
Out there.
00:24:27.790 --> 00:24:29.125
Like, how's it been going?
00:24:29.125 --> 00:24:30.459
Like, i'm like i've actually gotten further faster in 48
00:24:30.459 --> 00:24:33.029
Hours than i have been in the last 3 months trying to push my
00:24:33.029 --> 00:24:35.631
Own bill.
00:24:35.631 --> 00:24:36.999
People have reached out.
00:24:36.999 --> 00:24:38.334
We want to help, toni.
00:24:38.334 --> 00:24:39.669
We've been figuring, we've been praying for you, we've been
00:24:39.669 --> 00:24:41.037
Wanting to help, we just didn't know how.
00:24:41.037 --> 00:24:42.371
Blynda: or didn't think you needed it.
00:24:42.371 --> 00:24:43.739
Toni: or didn't think you needed the help and struggling
00:24:43.739 --> 00:24:46.809
In silence.
00:24:46.809 --> 00:24:48.144
And struggling in silence.
00:24:48.144 --> 00:24:49.478
And here's what i love so much is that when we choose to heal
00:24:49.478 --> 00:24:53.015
In community and do hard things in community and ask for help in
00:24:53.015 --> 00:24:56.485
Community, we start to see how god's not wasting the pain.
00:24:56.485 --> 00:25:01.390
Sheila: yes, absolutely.
00:25:01.390 --> 00:25:02.725
Toni: my goodness, and i've seen it in both ways these past
00:25:02.725 --> 00:25:04.327
Two years.
00:25:04.327 --> 00:25:05.661
My whole world fell apart september 2023 and not even 6
00:25:05.661 --> 00:25:08.831
Months later, i had a really close friend who went through
00:25:08.831 --> 00:25:12.101
Something very similar, public embarrassment, shame, moral
00:25:12.101 --> 00:25:15.404
Failure, all these things, and i was able to step into her story
00:25:15.404 --> 00:25:19.375
And help her, because i was vulnerable enough to be honest
00:25:19.375 --> 00:25:22.278
About mine, so she reached out.
00:25:22.278 --> 00:25:24.113
Jada: come on, mary and elizabeth.
00:25:24.113 --> 00:25:25.448
Toni: she was like, hey, and i can't even tell you, i can't
00:25:25.448 --> 00:25:28.751
Tell you how many women have reached out to me via dm because
00:25:28.751 --> 00:25:31.687
I put out my weakness, and they're like i'm going through
00:25:31.687 --> 00:25:35.024
That, and i'm going through this, and to even see you still
00:25:35.024 --> 00:25:37.460
Standing, toni, gives me hope that god's gonna do it for
00:25:37.460 --> 00:25:40.329
Me too.
00:25:40.329 --> 00:25:41.864
Toni: i think my life has been deeply impacted by walking with
00:25:41.864 --> 00:25:44.800
Other people in their healing journey, because it begins to
00:25:44.800 --> 00:25:47.470
Show me the ways that god has used my past pain and turned it
00:25:47.470 --> 00:25:51.407
Into purpose.
00:25:51.407 --> 00:25:52.875
I just think it's such a privilege to say i've been
00:25:52.875 --> 00:25:55.778
Through this and this and this and this, and now i'm walking
00:25:55.778 --> 00:25:59.281
With a person who have been through similar things, and i
00:25:59.281 --> 00:26:02.785
Get to now help them find hope again, because i'm still
00:26:02.785 --> 00:26:05.821
Standing, because i went through the pain, and i am still happy
00:26:05.821 --> 00:26:10.226
And whole, now that i get to do that for someone else, gosh, it
00:26:10.226 --> 00:26:14.030
Just--it brings fulfillment to all the pain that we've
00:26:14.030 --> 00:26:16.832
Been through.
00:26:16.832 --> 00:26:18.167
Jada: what i love about your story, and this is what we have
00:26:18.167 --> 00:26:21.270
All experienced, the healing was not the furniture.
00:26:21.270 --> 00:26:25.474
The healing is i'm gonna show you where one person created a
00:26:25.474 --> 00:26:30.246
Deficit instead of betrayal, i'm gonna show you people who are
00:26:30.246 --> 00:26:33.349
Present for you, who show up.
00:26:33.349 --> 00:26:34.684
So it's not even the furniture.
00:26:34.684 --> 00:26:36.185
Toni: just redeem it so quick.
00:26:36.185 --> 00:26:37.620
Jada: he's just like i wanna show you--because people, yeah,
00:26:37.620 --> 00:26:40.289
People disappoint.
00:26:40.289 --> 00:26:41.857
It is scary.
00:26:41.857 --> 00:26:43.225
I get that all the time.
00:26:43.225 --> 00:26:44.560
What if they hurt?
00:26:44.560 --> 00:26:45.928
What if they--i said, listen, let me take you to the garden of
00:26:45.928 --> 00:26:48.030
Gethsemane, because that's always my go-to.
00:26:48.030 --> 00:26:50.733
It's my go-to.
00:26:50.733 --> 00:26:52.101
I'm like jesus took these crazy dudes who he didn't need but
00:26:52.101 --> 00:26:57.339
Chose to be in a deeper community, them jokers
00:26:57.339 --> 00:27:01.444
Fell asleep.
00:27:01.444 --> 00:27:02.812
Toni: not once.
00:27:02.812 --> 00:27:04.146
Jada: this is not like i got a job interview or, it's the
00:27:04.146 --> 00:27:06.849
Cross, y'all.
00:27:06.849 --> 00:27:08.217
I'm about to die.
00:27:08.217 --> 00:27:09.552
That's like your friend be like i'm terminal, i probably got
00:27:09.552 --> 00:27:11.821
Three days, can you come sit in my room with me?
00:27:11.821 --> 00:27:14.824
And you're like let me run by cane's real quick, let me get
00:27:14.824 --> 00:27:17.460
Some fries first, and let me--
00:27:17.460 --> 00:27:19.729
What is happening?
00:27:19.729 --> 00:27:21.063
They fell asleep not once, not twice, but three times, and
00:27:21.063 --> 00:27:24.867
Jesus was like, you know what?
00:27:24.867 --> 00:27:26.235
I couldn't even, my gosh, but here's what i love, the story
00:27:26.235 --> 00:27:30.372
Does not show us that jesus was "like, i'm cutting y'all off,
00:27:30.372 --> 00:27:34.443
Through with y'all, unfriended, blocking you."
00:27:34.443 --> 00:27:37.012
Listen, community, they're not god, they're not gonna be
00:27:37.012 --> 00:27:41.817
Perfect, but god is showing us over and over again through
00:27:41.817 --> 00:27:44.720
Scripture that you need to give the effort that says that we
00:27:44.720 --> 00:27:48.290
Need people even in their imperfections that being with
00:27:48.290 --> 00:27:51.627
Imperfect people is better than being alone.
00:27:51.627 --> 00:27:54.663
That garden scene hits me every time.
00:27:54.663 --> 00:27:56.799
Blynda: if you even add on to that, that jesus already
00:27:56.799 --> 00:27:59.969
Befriended judas knowing he was gonna betray him.
00:27:59.969 --> 00:28:03.939
Jada: all the time, and when i there's a whole series i did on
00:28:03.939 --> 00:28:06.275
Trust, and i was like, do y'all understand that my bible doesn't
00:28:06.275 --> 00:28:09.411
Tell me he washed everybody's feet but judas, that everybody
00:28:09.411 --> 00:28:12.615
Ate but judas.
00:28:12.615 --> 00:28:13.949
Like this man is at the table breaking bread, getting his feet
00:28:13.949 --> 00:28:17.453
Washed, and jesus, he knows, and he's like it's okay, because
00:28:17.453 --> 00:28:21.323
Your failure has nothing to do with god's assignment for me,
00:28:21.323 --> 00:28:24.827
Nor what i'm about to model for these men, nor what i'm about
00:28:24.827 --> 00:28:27.930
To model.
00:28:27.930 --> 00:28:29.265
Like we have to have such an anchoring in god, because even
00:28:29.265 --> 00:28:31.767
In your pursuit of community, sometimes you're gonna call and
00:28:31.767 --> 00:28:34.403
Reach out and text and they're not gonna respond, or they're
00:28:34.403 --> 00:28:36.705
Not gonna have the right words to say, or they may betray your
00:28:36.705 --> 00:28:39.708
Confidence, and that cannot be your excuse to never try again.
00:28:39.708 --> 00:28:42.545
Blynda: because nobody else can carry the weight of your worth.
00:28:42.545 --> 00:28:45.147
Nobody else can, and one of my favorite definitions of
00:28:45.147 --> 00:28:49.385
Vulnerability i've ever heard is that it's the comparison between
00:28:49.385 --> 00:28:52.855
What is transparency and what is vulnerability.
00:28:52.855 --> 00:28:55.457
And transparency is when you let people know something about you.
00:28:55.457 --> 00:29:00.529
You let them know what you want them to know about you.
00:29:00.529 --> 00:29:02.798
Vulnerability is letting them know something that they could
00:29:02.798 --> 00:29:07.002
Hurt you with and still telling them anyway, and that's what
00:29:07.002 --> 00:29:10.873
Jesus did with judas.
00:29:10.873 --> 00:29:12.608
He knew the risk was there, and he did it anyway, and he modeled
00:29:12.608 --> 00:29:17.513
For us take the risk in relationship, even if the
00:29:17.513 --> 00:29:21.750
Vulnerability means they could turn around and hurt you
00:29:21.750 --> 00:29:24.553
With it.
00:29:24.553 --> 00:29:25.888
Sheila: jesus on that night says to all of them, satan is asked
00:29:25.888 --> 00:29:28.457
To sift you all like wheat.
00:29:28.457 --> 00:29:31.093
But then he turns individually to peter and says, but when you
00:29:31.093 --> 00:29:35.064
Return, it's like peter, you're gonna fall.
00:29:35.064 --> 00:29:38.968
It was like satan's asked for all of you, peter, when you
00:29:38.968 --> 00:29:41.804
Return, feed your brothers.
00:29:41.804 --> 00:29:45.241
Jada: i know the return's coming.
00:29:45.241 --> 00:29:46.775
Toni: jesus just knew that the betrayal of one was not--it was
00:29:46.775 --> 00:29:50.746
Nothing in comparison to the beauty of the eleven, like the
00:29:50.746 --> 00:29:53.582
Beauty of the others.
00:29:53.582 --> 00:29:54.950
He's like i'm not going to not trust in people.
00:29:54.950 --> 00:29:57.119
I'm not going to not partner with humanity because i am aware
00:29:57.119 --> 00:30:01.557
That a few people are gonna hurt me, or they're gonna turn.
00:30:01.557 --> 00:30:03.559
Jada: and by the way, we hurt people.
00:30:03.559 --> 00:30:05.961
I don't know why we think that only people hurt us.
00:30:05.961 --> 00:30:08.597
You've been somebody's judas probably, you've been somebody's
00:30:08.597 --> 00:30:10.966
Peter, and your heart was janky and the lord was like i redeemed
00:30:10.966 --> 00:30:15.070
You from that, and so don't judge, because we've all been
00:30:15.070 --> 00:30:18.240
The person that has caused some pain, and so i just think
00:30:18.240 --> 00:30:20.676
There's a reality of that tension.
00:30:20.676 --> 00:30:22.511
Toni: and how much more should we not be, right?
00:30:22.511 --> 00:30:24.713
If we know that our gossip, our instigating, our hurting people
00:30:24.713 --> 00:30:30.119
Is going to impact their future relationships, how much more we
00:30:30.119 --> 00:30:33.656
Stop being messy and janky and rude so that people have a fair
00:30:33.656 --> 00:30:38.160
Chance at healthy relationships without us standing in the way
00:30:38.160 --> 00:30:40.996
Of that?
00:30:40.996 --> 00:30:42.564
Jada: so i don't know that there's a guaranteed way to find
00:30:42.564 --> 00:30:45.034
Safe community.
00:30:45.034 --> 00:30:46.402
I mean, i think about jesus in the garden of gethsemane with
00:30:46.402 --> 00:30:48.971
The men he knew would fail him, but he still brought them in to
00:30:48.971 --> 00:30:51.840
His most vulnerable place anyway.
00:30:51.840 --> 00:30:54.143
So i think we do our best to pursue it, but we trust god with
00:30:54.143 --> 00:30:57.680
Our deepest, darkest pains and dreams and secrets.
00:30:57.680 --> 00:31:01.216
A person can never handle all of that perfectly.
00:31:01.216 --> 00:31:03.986
Community won't be perfect, but it's necessary, because god
00:31:03.986 --> 00:31:07.323
Called us to grow together and not alone.
00:31:07.323 --> 00:31:10.292
And so we ask god for wisdom to show us people's hearts, like
00:31:10.292 --> 00:31:15.097
What are their intentions, and god will reveal it, and we have
00:31:15.097 --> 00:31:17.933
To make decisions accordingly.
00:31:17.933 --> 00:31:19.301
So it won't be perfect, but it is definitely necessary.
00:31:19.301 --> 00:31:23.439
Sheila: i'm thinking of people who are stuck, like who're just
00:31:23.439 --> 00:31:25.774
Stuck, who've listened to all of this, and they're like, yeah,
00:31:25.774 --> 00:31:28.143
Truth, truth, truth, but i'm stuck.
00:31:28.143 --> 00:31:30.112
One of the greatest lessons that god showed me is when the pain
00:31:30.112 --> 00:31:33.315
Of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change, then
00:31:33.315 --> 00:31:37.386
You're ready to change.
00:31:37.386 --> 00:31:39.188
You know, when the pain of remaining the same, i mean
00:31:39.188 --> 00:31:40.823
That's the place i came to, because when my life fell apart,
00:31:40.823 --> 00:31:44.059
I was alone, but i was alone because i'd chosen that, and it
00:31:44.059 --> 00:31:48.364
Was like i was very happy to reach out to you when i'm the
00:31:48.364 --> 00:31:52.134
Co-host of a television program, but what was the challenge for
00:31:52.134 --> 00:31:55.871
Me was when you're none of that, when you've just been released
00:31:55.871 --> 00:31:58.841
From a psychiatric hospital and you don't have a job and you're
00:31:58.841 --> 00:32:01.110
Filling your prescription for your medication, will you reach
00:32:01.110 --> 00:32:04.313
Out then?
00:32:04.313 --> 00:32:05.647
So when the pain of remaining the same is greater than the
00:32:05.647 --> 00:32:08.350
Pain, it's like, you know, this is gonna hurt telling people
00:32:08.350 --> 00:32:11.053
This is who i really am.
00:32:11.053 --> 00:32:12.755
I remember i was doing a radio interview in la, and this--it
00:32:12.755 --> 00:32:15.591
Was a call-in show, and i could tell the guy didn't want to take
00:32:15.591 --> 00:32:17.893
A particular caller that lit up on the screen, and i said,
00:32:17.893 --> 00:32:20.562
"what's the deal?"
00:32:20.562 --> 00:32:21.897
When we went to break, and he said, "well, it's somebody
00:32:21.897 --> 00:32:23.465
Who's, you know, is very disappointed in you because they
00:32:23.465 --> 00:32:25.834
Think you ended up in a psych hospital and had to
00:32:25.834 --> 00:32:27.703
Take medication."
00:32:27.703 --> 00:32:29.071
I'm like, "no, put them through, put them through."
00:32:29.071 --> 00:32:30.639
And the question was, is this true?
00:32:30.639 --> 00:32:33.575
Did you end up in a psych hospital?
00:32:33.575 --> 00:32:34.943
I said, "yes, i did.
00:32:34.943 --> 00:32:36.278
I spent a month there."
00:32:36.278 --> 00:32:37.646
And they said, "okay, this is my other question.
00:32:37.646 --> 00:32:40.115
Did you take medication, and do you still take medication?"
00:32:40.115 --> 00:32:42.684
And i said, "yeah, i take my pill every morning with a prayer
00:32:42.684 --> 00:32:44.920
Of thanksgiving."
00:32:44.920 --> 00:32:46.255
And she said, "then i'm done with you."
00:32:46.255 --> 00:32:48.357
And i said to the guy that was fielding the calls, "would you
00:32:48.357 --> 00:32:51.894
Get this person's number and ask if i can call them when i
00:32:51.894 --> 00:32:54.363
Get home?"
00:32:54.363 --> 00:32:55.697
And so when when i got home, i called that person, and we were
00:32:55.697 --> 00:32:58.600
On the phone for like probably two hours.
00:32:58.600 --> 00:33:03.338
She was in so much pain, but it was almost like, you know, i
00:33:03.338 --> 00:33:07.743
Need to deal with stuff, and i can't deal with it, and if you
00:33:07.743 --> 00:33:09.912
Make me look at it, i don't want to look at it, and so that's why
00:33:09.912 --> 00:33:13.982
My overall prayer in terms of community is, lord, today give
00:33:13.982 --> 00:33:18.454
Me eyes to see, give me ears to hear behind all the noise and
00:33:18.454 --> 00:33:23.092
The everything else to what's actually going on in somebody's
00:33:23.092 --> 00:33:26.462
Heart, and i think you can only do that when you've been brought
00:33:26.462 --> 00:33:29.865
So low yourself that you just see people differently,
00:33:29.865 --> 00:33:34.069
You know?
00:33:34.069 --> 00:33:36.472
Announcer: be the first to know all the latest "better
00:33:36.472 --> 00:33:38.740
Together" updates.
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00:33:40.342 --> 00:33:44.446
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00:33:47.006 --> 00:33:47.216
Toni: when i look over my life,
00:33:50.886 --> 00:33:53.088
And if i decided to get a big old white board
00:33:53.088 --> 00:33:55.824
And put all of the real crazy things i've been through,
00:33:55.824 --> 00:33:58.894
Sexual abuse and manipulation, porn addiction, drugs, alcohol,
00:33:58.894 --> 00:34:04.466
Suffered with bulimia in college, i mean, so much trauma
00:34:04.466 --> 00:34:08.704
In my first marriage, very aggressive verbal abuse,
00:34:08.704 --> 00:34:12.641
Physical abuse, doors ripped off the hinges, all the things like
00:34:12.641 --> 00:34:16.211
Church hurt, got saved, thought it was like the best thing ever,
00:34:16.211 --> 00:34:19.982
Realized that everybody's a person, humanity, it is what it
00:34:19.982 --> 00:34:24.019
Is, so much poverty as a single mom with my daughter, got
00:34:24.019 --> 00:34:27.556
Remarried, went through years and years and years of
00:34:27.556 --> 00:34:29.858
Infidelity over and over and over again.
00:34:29.858 --> 00:34:31.894
When i look back over my life, i'm like, wow, this sucks, and i
00:34:31.894 --> 00:34:37.466
Can assign so many faces and so many names to all of those
00:34:37.466 --> 00:34:42.137
Things i went through.
00:34:42.137 --> 00:34:43.572
Everything, everything has been made purposeful because of
00:34:43.572 --> 00:34:48.677
The lord.
00:34:48.677 --> 00:34:50.045
And because i have decided that i'm just going to tell people i
00:34:50.045 --> 00:34:52.714
Went through this, i was on drugs, i was drinking, smoking,
00:34:52.714 --> 00:34:56.218
Twerking, all kinds of things, i slept with over 20 men by the
00:34:56.218 --> 00:34:59.021
Time i was 20 years old, when i tell people those things, and
00:34:59.021 --> 00:35:02.257
Then i get all of the people that have been through them, i
00:35:02.257 --> 00:35:05.794
Literally get the opportunity to say the pain is not worth it,
00:35:05.794 --> 00:35:10.132
But it's also not wasted.
00:35:10.132 --> 00:35:11.967
The lord absolutely takes all of the things that we go through,
00:35:11.967 --> 00:35:16.738
And he allows us to connect with people that are going through
00:35:16.738 --> 00:35:19.875
It, have been through it, and have no hope so that we can be
00:35:19.875 --> 00:35:23.679
Living, breathing hope.
00:35:23.679 --> 00:35:25.013
And that's the power of healing out loud with people, of saying
00:35:25.013 --> 00:35:28.550
I am so deeply broken, i've got so much stuff, i wanna share it
00:35:28.550 --> 00:35:32.654
With you, because i wanna give you hope that you can actually
00:35:32.654 --> 00:35:35.857
Still stand and sit on "better together."
00:35:35.857 --> 00:35:38.227
Sheila: our brokenness is a far greater bridge to other people
00:35:38.227 --> 00:35:41.096
Than our pretend wholeness ever is.
00:35:41.096 --> 00:35:43.899
Nona: well, it's that saying that we're only as sick as our
00:35:43.899 --> 00:35:46.068
Secrets, and it's very, very true.
00:35:46.068 --> 00:35:48.270
And i think that that is why, even we were talking about pride
00:35:48.270 --> 00:35:51.773
Earlier, i think at the root of pride is shame, right?
00:35:51.773 --> 00:35:54.810
It's like i build this fortress on top of my shame so that
00:35:54.810 --> 00:35:58.247
Nobody can get to that part.
00:35:58.247 --> 00:36:00.549
But when we are just honest, i'll never forget, i had a woman
00:36:00.549 --> 00:36:04.152
Come preach at our church.
00:36:04.152 --> 00:36:05.487
This was many years ago, and she was an amazing bible teacher,
00:36:05.487 --> 00:36:09.124
She just did a phenomenal job.
00:36:09.124 --> 00:36:10.559
She had been married three times, and she talked about it
00:36:10.559 --> 00:36:14.296
From the pulpit about, you know, being married three times, how
00:36:14.296 --> 00:36:16.698
God is a god of favor and grace.
00:36:16.698 --> 00:36:18.133
Well, this one woman in our church, she called me after
00:36:18.133 --> 00:36:20.435
Service and she was like, i can't believe you would have
00:36:20.435 --> 00:36:22.604
That jezebel come up there and preach and that.
00:36:22.604 --> 00:36:25.207
And what was funny was, because i knew the woman, like the
00:36:25.207 --> 00:36:29.244
Reason why she'd been married three times is she had horrible
00:36:29.244 --> 00:36:31.813
Experiences in her first two marriages, like beating, many of
00:36:31.813 --> 00:36:34.116
Things that you were talking about, i laughed because as the
00:36:34.116 --> 00:36:36.418
Woman was talking, she didn't know i knew her story.
00:36:36.418 --> 00:36:39.288
She didn't know that i knew that the reason she had gotten
00:36:39.288 --> 00:36:41.423
Married to her husband was because she had a child with
00:36:41.423 --> 00:36:43.859
Him, got pregnant before they were married.
00:36:43.859 --> 00:36:45.661
She didn't know that i knew that she had a criminal record.
00:36:45.661 --> 00:36:48.463
She didn't know that i knew about her, but those are things
00:36:48.463 --> 00:36:51.199
She never talks about publicly, never.
00:36:51.199 --> 00:36:54.336
I just happened to know because i was told that information.
00:36:54.336 --> 00:36:57.105
And i laughed, because i said it's so funny that when we
00:36:57.105 --> 00:37:01.009
Talked about the difference between judgment and compassion
00:37:01.009 --> 00:37:03.312
In the previous episode, the people who tend to be the most
00:37:03.312 --> 00:37:06.148
Judgmental are the ones who need the most compassion.
00:37:06.148 --> 00:37:09.351
It's hard to judge someone when you remember what god has done.
00:37:12.554 --> 00:37:18.093
Oh my gosh, are you kidding?
00:37:18.093 --> 00:37:20.095
Even people who hurt me deeply, it's hard for me to remain
00:37:20.095 --> 00:37:23.865
Bitter and resentful, because i'm like, lord, other people--
00:37:23.865 --> 00:37:27.202
You said earlier, other people could feel that same way.
00:37:27.202 --> 00:37:30.072
There are very few things others have done to me that i haven't
00:37:30.072 --> 00:37:32.174
Done to somebody, very few things, but i thank god for
00:37:32.174 --> 00:37:36.011
His forgiveness.
00:37:36.011 --> 00:37:37.346
I thank him for his grace.
00:37:37.346 --> 00:37:38.714
I thank him for his mercy.
00:37:38.714 --> 00:37:40.415
And that is, i think that's what frees us.
00:37:40.415 --> 00:37:42.684
That's how we heal is by being honest about what the lord has
00:37:42.684 --> 00:37:47.222
Done in our life.
00:37:47.222 --> 00:37:50.258
Blynda: when i think about being compassionate and even the why
00:37:50.258 --> 00:37:54.029
Behind being compassionate, it kind of makes me think about a
00:37:54.029 --> 00:37:56.832
Few things.
00:37:56.832 --> 00:37:58.166
I know in my life, if i've had someone that i maybe has been a
00:37:58.166 --> 00:38:02.871
Harder relationship or someone that's maybe harder to work with
00:38:02.871 --> 00:38:08.043
Or live with, i know that when i hear their story and where
00:38:08.043 --> 00:38:12.314
They're from, i have this kind of visceral feeling inside.
00:38:12.314 --> 00:38:16.785
Well, that is compassion rising up in me.
00:38:16.785 --> 00:38:19.488
There's something unique that happens when you know where
00:38:19.488 --> 00:38:22.624
Someone has been, because then you start to understand that
00:38:22.624 --> 00:38:26.862
Their current actions are a reflection of their past.
00:38:26.862 --> 00:38:30.832
And when you understand that, and you probably understand that
00:38:30.832 --> 00:38:34.770
Maybe what they're doing to you was done to them, it does create
00:38:34.770 --> 00:38:39.007
Compassion, and the why we would want to show compassion is
00:38:39.007 --> 00:38:43.812
Simply this.
00:38:43.812 --> 00:38:45.447
In matthew 5:43 it says, "you have heard that it was said love
00:38:45.447 --> 00:38:50.952
Your neighbor and hate your enemy, but i tell you, love your
00:38:50.952 --> 00:38:54.990
Enemies and pray for those who persecute you that you may be
00:38:54.990 --> 00:38:58.393
Sons of your father in heaven.
00:38:58.393 --> 00:39:00.328
He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain
00:39:00.328 --> 00:39:03.765
On the righteous and the unrighteous.
00:39:03.765 --> 00:39:05.567
If you love those who love you, what reward will you get?"
00:39:05.567 --> 00:39:09.337
It's simply telling us that, of course, the whole actual idea of
00:39:09.337 --> 00:39:14.109
Unconditional love is that it's going to be difficult in some
00:39:14.109 --> 00:39:18.079
Ways, if you think about it, because what reward--it's easy
00:39:18.079 --> 00:39:21.082
To love those who love you, it's easy to love those who are nice
00:39:21.082 --> 00:39:23.718
To you, it's easy to love those who are kind to you, but it is
00:39:23.718 --> 00:39:26.855
Harder to love those that are hard to you or are, you know,
00:39:26.855 --> 00:39:31.326
Create dissension with you.
00:39:31.326 --> 00:39:34.029
But they're really the ones that god is calling us to love
00:39:34.029 --> 00:39:37.599
The most.
00:39:37.599 --> 00:39:38.934
And so for me, why would i live out of compassion is because
00:39:38.934 --> 00:39:43.438
Everything that i just spoke about is really me to god.
00:39:43.438 --> 00:39:47.375
I am the person who has dishonored god.
00:39:47.375 --> 00:39:50.745
I am the one who has sinned against him.
00:39:50.745 --> 00:39:52.647
I am the one who was an enemy to him, because while i was in my
00:39:52.647 --> 00:39:55.984
Sin, he loved me.
00:39:55.984 --> 00:39:57.452
So the very reason i'm compassionate is simply because
00:39:57.452 --> 00:40:01.523
God was compassionate toward me, and i want to give to others the
00:40:01.523 --> 00:40:06.394
Same gift god has given me.
00:40:06.394 --> 00:40:09.231
Blynda: i think maybe we tell ourselves that if everyone knew,
00:40:09.231 --> 00:40:14.002
We could be--it's gonna disqualify us from being able to
00:40:14.002 --> 00:40:16.905
Be used by god.
00:40:16.905 --> 00:40:18.306
We were in a a church for a while on staff, and they went
00:40:18.306 --> 00:40:22.577
Through a season of where they really wanted a confessional
00:40:22.577 --> 00:40:25.714
Type community, just really where it's like, okay, i don't
00:40:25.714 --> 00:40:28.416
Want people on this staff who are secretly doing things that
00:40:28.416 --> 00:40:31.753
They shouldn't, so but what they found is as they tried to kind
00:40:31.753 --> 00:40:35.924
Of create this real vulnerable, transparent environment for
00:40:35.924 --> 00:40:40.495
Employees, what they found is what stopped them from doing
00:40:40.495 --> 00:40:45.767
That is, well, this thing i'm struggling with isn't biblical,
00:40:45.767 --> 00:40:50.472
And so it's grounds for firing.
00:40:50.472 --> 00:40:52.908
So if i can confess something i'm struggling with, i could be
00:40:52.908 --> 00:40:57.312
Fired from my job.
00:40:57.312 --> 00:40:58.680
And so it literally stopped vulnerability, but the point is
00:40:58.680 --> 00:41:03.618
I'm gonna get disqualified if people really know what i
00:41:03.618 --> 00:41:05.987
Struggle with, and maybe not even disqualified like fired
00:41:05.987 --> 00:41:08.123
From a job, but even just in people's perception, i won't
00:41:08.123 --> 00:41:11.293
Carry the influence that i want versus, because that's a lie,
00:41:11.293 --> 00:41:15.564
Versus the truth is the humanity that you show them is actually
00:41:15.564 --> 00:41:19.901
What qualifies you to do what you're doing.
00:41:19.901 --> 00:41:22.304
Jada: and i think toni's point about finding that community
00:41:22.304 --> 00:41:25.874
Before the crisis, because here's the thing, especially in
00:41:25.874 --> 00:41:31.146
Christianity, whether you're in ministry, leading, or just
00:41:31.146 --> 00:41:34.049
Serving in your church, doesn't matter, that by the time people
00:41:34.049 --> 00:41:38.219
Reach some level of addictive or compulsive or something where
00:41:38.219 --> 00:41:42.724
They feel stuck, there was a first infraction that they felt
00:41:42.724 --> 00:41:46.061
Like they couldn't tell anybody.
00:41:46.061 --> 00:41:47.562
And so it happens for ministers, it happens for women, it happens
00:41:47.562 --> 00:41:50.632
For kids.
00:41:50.632 --> 00:41:52.000
You talk to students who are caught in these things.
00:41:52.000 --> 00:41:53.535
You couldn't tell anyone the first time, and so then you just
00:41:53.535 --> 00:41:56.037
Learn how to make it part of your life, and by the time you
00:41:56.037 --> 00:42:00.208
Get to this end, it's something that's disqualifying and
00:42:00.208 --> 00:42:03.345
Horrible, and it's like but who--you didn't create
00:42:03.345 --> 00:42:06.247
Community so that you could tell someone the first time you had
00:42:06.247 --> 00:42:10.151
The thought or stayed out too late or the conversation went
00:42:10.151 --> 00:42:13.488
Too long or whatever it was, and so, you know, if you're, for
00:42:13.488 --> 00:42:17.759
Those watching, if you're in a crisis, the lord can still
00:42:17.759 --> 00:42:20.295
Do it.
00:42:20.295 --> 00:42:21.630
He will show you the people, but man, if you're not, don't think
00:42:21.630 --> 00:42:24.165
That you don't need community.
00:42:24.165 --> 00:42:25.500
Find it now and make a commitment to say when do i--
00:42:25.500 --> 00:42:30.205
I'm gonna let people in as soon as the enemy is trying to
00:42:30.205 --> 00:42:33.908
Whisper something different, as soon as my own flesh is leaning
00:42:33.908 --> 00:42:37.112
Toward this other direction, because the sooner the better.
00:42:37.112 --> 00:42:41.016
Nona: i think it's really important to prayerfully
00:42:41.016 --> 00:42:43.585
Consider who is it that god has placed within your life to be an
00:42:43.585 --> 00:42:48.123
Agent of your healing?
00:42:48.123 --> 00:42:50.392
I believe that there is someone in your life, whether it's a
00:42:50.392 --> 00:42:52.827
Parent, a sibling, it might be a literal physical neighbor, it
00:42:52.827 --> 00:42:55.964
Might be a colleague at work, god has placed somebody in your
00:42:55.964 --> 00:42:58.833
Life that you may not even be aware of who not only has the
00:42:58.833 --> 00:43:03.371
Love and the compassion that you need to begin healing, but they
00:43:03.371 --> 00:43:07.342
Share your story, and they're in a place of victory that will
00:43:07.342 --> 00:43:10.245
Inspire your change.
00:43:10.245 --> 00:43:13.014
I need you, though, to prayerfully consider who that
00:43:13.014 --> 00:43:15.383
Will be, because one of the worst things that we can do is
00:43:15.383 --> 00:43:18.586
We could just invite somebody into our healing journey who
00:43:18.586 --> 00:43:21.056
They themselves are not healed, which means they will most
00:43:21.056 --> 00:43:23.725
Likely reinjure us, but i can guarantee you there's somebody
00:43:23.725 --> 00:43:27.295
In your circle, somebody who is proximate to you that god has
00:43:27.295 --> 00:43:30.899
Placed there to help you.
00:43:30.899 --> 00:43:32.333
Pray about it, and when god reveals who that is, take the
00:43:32.333 --> 00:43:36.137
First step.
00:43:36.137 --> 00:43:37.772
Toni: so i've been in a confessional community group for
00:43:37.772 --> 00:43:40.408
Almost four years now.
00:43:40.408 --> 00:43:41.743
It'll be four years in just a month, and when we originally
00:43:41.743 --> 00:43:45.180
Started it, it was super-scary, because we got a call from our
00:43:45.180 --> 00:43:47.582
Friend jessica, and she was like, "i really wanna go deep
00:43:47.582 --> 00:43:50.251
With community, and i just."
00:43:50.251 --> 00:43:52.153
I mean, she's like, "so if you're in, let's do it, like
00:43:52.153 --> 00:43:54.823
Let's share all of our secrets, let's hold each
00:43:54.823 --> 00:43:56.658
Other accountable."
00:43:56.658 --> 00:43:57.992
And i won't lie, everybody was like mmm.
00:43:57.992 --> 00:44:01.796
What's interesting is that she called all of us that have
00:44:01.796 --> 00:44:04.232
Platforms, speakers, authors, podcasters, all the things, and
00:44:04.232 --> 00:44:07.802
So we were really afraid that like, man, if any of this stuff
00:44:07.802 --> 00:44:12.607
Gets out, we could lose everything.
00:44:12.607 --> 00:44:15.543
And then i think we got together in the same room, and we
00:44:15.543 --> 00:44:19.147
Realized that this is what the lord has called us to as
00:44:19.147 --> 00:44:21.449
Leaders, that we actually are supposed to have real
00:44:21.449 --> 00:44:24.886
Accountability in place.
00:44:24.886 --> 00:44:26.554
And not just leaders of platforms and podcasts and
00:44:26.554 --> 00:44:29.457
Books, but of our lives, that the christian way is to be in a
00:44:29.457 --> 00:44:34.662
Community that is able to actually sharpen you.
00:44:34.662 --> 00:44:37.499
And that whole scripture, like we're not just talking about
00:44:37.499 --> 00:44:39.701
Some random human being condemning you for what you've
00:44:39.701 --> 00:44:42.470
Done, we're talking about an actual sharpening that is close
00:44:42.470 --> 00:44:45.707
In proximity, that has relationship built over time,
00:44:45.707 --> 00:44:49.210
And that has authority because they earned it, and there's
00:44:49.210 --> 00:44:52.180
Trust because they earned it.
00:44:52.180 --> 00:44:53.515
And so we've been meeting, every single year we do a retreat
00:44:53.515 --> 00:44:56.918
In-person, and we really unpack kind of a year and everything
00:44:56.918 --> 00:44:59.921
That we've been through, but every single month for three
00:44:59.921 --> 00:45:01.890
Hours we confess on a little zoom call, and we're not all in
00:45:01.890 --> 00:45:05.093
The same state, and it is beautiful, because what we're
00:45:05.093 --> 00:45:09.564
Doing is we're practicing with-ness.
00:45:09.564 --> 00:45:11.132
We don't give anyone any type of solution, which is even harder
00:45:11.132 --> 00:45:14.803
As leaders, because we're just like i have about five
00:45:14.803 --> 00:45:16.838
Solutions, and i got a counselor.
00:45:16.838 --> 00:45:18.540
You want a psychiatrist?
00:45:18.540 --> 00:45:19.874
Nona got her phd, what you trying to do?
00:45:19.874 --> 00:45:21.609
You know what i'm saying?
00:45:21.609 --> 00:45:22.944
And here's six books, and here's all the things that i've read,
00:45:22.944 --> 00:45:25.346
And it's like, no, no, no, like we're just practicing being with
00:45:25.346 --> 00:45:29.484
Each other, being seen, as dan siegel says, being seen and
00:45:29.484 --> 00:45:32.654
Soothed and safe and secure, and that's actually enough to help
00:45:32.654 --> 00:45:37.759
You not only be accountable to other people but also to know
00:45:37.759 --> 00:45:41.830
That you are not alone, that you can actually face anything this
00:45:41.830 --> 00:45:45.700
World throws your way because you have god and his people.
00:45:45.700 --> 00:45:48.136
They will not leave the room, they are with you, and any time
00:45:48.136 --> 00:45:51.005
Any one of us, i had a real struggle with alcohol through
00:45:51.005 --> 00:45:53.541
This divorce for a couple of months, and i told them, i was
00:45:53.541 --> 00:45:56.845
Like before it gets bad, i just want everybody to know
00:45:56.845 --> 00:45:58.646
I can feel it.
00:45:58.646 --> 00:46:00.348
The lord has convicted me, and i brought it to his people.
00:46:00.348 --> 00:46:02.717
So that's a confessional community, and that's what i've
00:46:02.717 --> 00:46:04.552
Been in, and it has saved me, and i think truly i do believe
00:46:04.552 --> 00:46:08.022
That anyone on this whole planet deserves to have people that see
00:46:08.022 --> 00:46:12.861
You for who you actually are, the good, the bad, and
00:46:12.861 --> 00:46:15.430
Everything ugly, because when we look at the bible, moses had an
00:46:15.430 --> 00:46:19.100
Aaron to hold his arms up, naomi had a ruth, and ruth had
00:46:19.100 --> 00:46:24.239
A naomi.
00:46:24.239 --> 00:46:26.507
Tabitha had a peter who was responsible for raising her back
00:46:26.507 --> 00:46:29.744
From the dead.
00:46:29.744 --> 00:46:31.112
For the dead things in your life, it may take another person
00:46:31.112 --> 00:46:34.415
And their strength and their holy spirit to call you out and
00:46:34.415 --> 00:46:38.419
Give you real freedom.
00:46:38.419 --> 00:46:40.021
And so i'm excited about this conversation.
00:46:40.021 --> 00:46:41.956
I'm excited about us just continuing in the week to really
00:46:41.956 --> 00:46:45.493
Talk about god's design, and it's a design that leaves his
00:46:45.493 --> 00:46:49.764
People connected to each other.
00:46:49.764 --> 00:46:51.599
So let me pray for that.
00:46:51.599 --> 00:46:53.201
Lord, jesus, we thank you so much that when you created
00:46:53.201 --> 00:46:58.706
Humanity, you created us with the idea that you did not want
00:46:58.706 --> 00:47:03.177
Us to be alone.
00:47:03.177 --> 00:47:04.512
What a god, so gentle, so kind.
00:47:04.512 --> 00:47:07.482
You literally planned for our pain by putting people on this
00:47:07.482 --> 00:47:11.619
Earth to do life with us.
00:47:11.619 --> 00:47:13.688
We are so grateful for that.
00:47:13.688 --> 00:47:15.723
Lord, i just pray against the spirit of shame.
00:47:15.723 --> 00:47:18.226
I pray against the spirit of betrayal and of not trusting
00:47:18.226 --> 00:47:21.429
Again, god, and i just call forth a generation of people
00:47:21.429 --> 00:47:25.934
That would be bold and brave like children, like being on the
00:47:25.934 --> 00:47:30.405
Playground again, trusting again, putting ourselves out
00:47:30.405 --> 00:47:34.242
There again, being like children and asking people to be our
00:47:34.242 --> 00:47:38.947
Friends again.
00:47:38.947 --> 00:47:40.315
Lord, i pray for a spirit of boldness when it comes to
00:47:40.315 --> 00:47:42.884
Our prayers.
00:47:42.884 --> 00:47:44.218
God, would you just allow us not to be put to shame in our
00:47:44.218 --> 00:47:47.155
Prayers for good friends, for people to really see us and know
00:47:47.155 --> 00:47:50.892
Us for who we are?
00:47:50.892 --> 00:47:52.627
God i pray that we just would be hopeful people, hopeful for our
00:47:52.627 --> 00:47:57.465
Relationships, hopeful that health will come again,
00:47:57.465 --> 00:48:00.368
Redemption is on the way, hopeful that you are the god
00:48:00.368 --> 00:48:04.572
That is in charge of our deep connections and that you'll
00:48:04.572 --> 00:48:09.444
Protect us because you're in charge and you'll redeem
00:48:09.444 --> 00:48:12.146
Everything because you're in charge.
00:48:12.146 --> 00:48:13.915
We love you, and we thank you in jesus's name, amen.
00:48:13.915 --> 00:48:19.354
Announcer: connect with us on social media and let us know how
00:48:19.354 --> 00:48:21.756
Our team can pray for you.
00:48:21.756 --> 00:48:26.127
Sheila: hey, this is sheila, i'm here with toni, and we're
00:48:30.264 --> 00:48:32.533
Answering your questions behind the scenes at "better together."
00:48:32.533 --> 00:48:35.136
So let me read this is from patricia.
00:48:35.136 --> 00:48:37.505
She asked us to clarify some things.
00:48:37.505 --> 00:48:39.574
I've heard some ladies on "better together" say things
00:48:39.574 --> 00:48:41.876
Like you can't heal alone in the dark or that you need community.
00:48:41.876 --> 00:48:46.514
Well, jesus went to the garden of gethsemane to pray to his
00:48:46.514 --> 00:48:48.850
Father in heaven all alone.
00:48:48.850 --> 00:48:50.618
Many people pray alone every day.
00:48:50.618 --> 00:48:52.720
What do you mean by this?
00:48:52.720 --> 00:48:54.489
Hmm, first of all, i would say actually that's not
00:48:54.489 --> 00:48:57.191
Completely true.
00:48:57.191 --> 00:48:58.559
Toni: it's not, who did he bring?
00:48:58.559 --> 00:48:59.894
Sheila: yeah, i mean, jesus brought, as well as all the
00:48:59.894 --> 00:49:01.562
Disciples being there, he brought those three closest,
00:49:01.562 --> 00:49:04.532
Peter, james, and john.
00:49:04.532 --> 00:49:05.900
They're the closest to him.
00:49:05.900 --> 00:49:07.335
He invited them into his place of suffering.
00:49:07.335 --> 00:49:10.204
I mean, and i love the fact that luke, because he's a doctor,
00:49:10.204 --> 00:49:13.007
Tells us that one detail, you know, where jesus sweat blood,
00:49:13.007 --> 00:49:17.378
And i've read what that, it's called hematohydrosis, and it
00:49:17.378 --> 00:49:20.648
Still happens every now and again, and do you know where it
00:49:20.648 --> 00:49:23.251
Shows up?
00:49:23.251 --> 00:49:24.619
When people are being walked to their execution.
00:49:24.619 --> 00:49:26.187
The stress is so incredible that i think christ was in incredible
00:49:26.187 --> 00:49:30.358
Distress and invited his friends to join him, and they just
00:49:30.358 --> 00:49:33.394
Weren't able to stay awake.
00:49:33.394 --> 00:49:35.329
Toni: gosh, not once, not once, but three times.
00:49:35.329 --> 00:49:38.299
And i also think it's so interesting that i mean jesus
00:49:38.299 --> 00:49:41.469
Displayed, you know, these friendship circles.
00:49:41.469 --> 00:49:43.671
He showed us what it looked like to have a very close and
00:49:43.671 --> 00:49:45.907
Intimate relationship with god and that be the foundation and
00:49:45.907 --> 00:49:48.976
The core of all of his relationships, and then outside
00:49:48.976 --> 00:49:52.480
Of that, he had peter, james, and john who he brought close on
00:49:52.480 --> 00:49:54.849
A few occasions, not just the garden and in the garden of
00:49:54.849 --> 00:49:58.252
Gethsemane in his most vulnerable moment, he brought
00:49:58.252 --> 00:50:01.622
Them there, i think, because he was trying to show us what it
00:50:01.622 --> 00:50:04.158
Looked like to surrender to god and to have his people just
00:50:04.158 --> 00:50:08.496
Along the way.
00:50:08.496 --> 00:50:09.831
Just along the way to help us when we feel lonely, to help us
00:50:09.831 --> 00:50:12.733
When we feel discouraged, that's what we bring people close for,
00:50:12.733 --> 00:50:16.104
And i just think, yeah, we have to have an intimate circle with
00:50:16.104 --> 00:50:18.406
The lord, and we have to have as people too.
00:50:18.406 --> 00:50:20.842
Sheila: and i love what it says in hebrews 12, where it says
00:50:20.842 --> 00:50:22.777
Keep your eyes on jesus, who both began and finished this
00:50:22.777 --> 00:50:25.379
Race that we're in.
00:50:25.379 --> 00:50:26.714
Study how he did it.
00:50:26.714 --> 00:50:28.082
And one of the things that was really important to jesus was
00:50:28.082 --> 00:50:30.318
Including other people.
00:50:30.318 --> 00:50:31.686
Yeah, and if the lord needed to be with other people, how much
00:50:31.686 --> 00:50:33.921
More so do you and i? toni: and there you go.
00:50:33.921 --> 00:50:36.624
Thanks for asking that question.
00:50:36.624 --> 00:50:38.126
Sheila: bye, patricia.
00:50:38.126 --> 00:50:41.028
Announcer: stream full episodes of "better together" on demand.
00:50:41.028 --> 00:50:44.799
Go to bettertogether.tv
00:50:44.799 --> 00:50:46.367
To stream all of our latest conversations.
00:50:46.367 --> 00:50:46.367

How to Heal in Community - Episode 1103

October 8, 2025 | S7 E1103 | 52:34

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