Better Together

Let God Fight Your Battles | Better Together Episode 1159

April 23, 2026 | S8 E1159 | 50:59

God is always moving on your behalf and stands as your Defender! In Him, every victory has already been won. Striving stops. Rest and peace quiet the need for self-defense. When your confidence is in Him, you can stand firm in any trial. | TBN Prayer Line: 714-731-1000

#Victory #Faith #TrustGod #IdentityinChrist #Confidence #Peace #Trials-HardTimes #Strength #Freedom #Overcoming #Encouragement #Hope #Perseverance #Protection #Rest #Gossip #Betrayal #Idols #PersonalStory #Reputation #Surrender #Manipulation #Victim #LaurieCrouch #SheilaWalsh #DonnaPisani #AlexandraHoover #SusieLarson

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Better Together | Let God Fight Your Battles | Better Together Episode 1159 | April 23, 2026

(beeping sound)
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- god is your defender, and when false accusations
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Or injustice come your way, your heavenly father who sees
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And knows all things is already moving on your behalf.
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Come on, let's talk about it.
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♪ ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
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♪ ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
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♪ ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
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♪ ooh, ooh, ooh
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- so today, we are talking
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About letting god fight our battles.
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- [participant] hmm.
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- and i have to tell you that this past year
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Was probably the hardest year that i've ever gone through
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In my life, and i've been through some battles,
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So that's saying a lot.
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But in june, on june 18th of last year, my dad passed away
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And had not really been very ill very long in his life.
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But when he, towards the end, you know, it was at that point
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Where you're just like, lord, take him home
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So he stopped suffering.
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- [participant] yeah.
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- but he left with him, you know, here on the earth
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My mom who has alzheimer's, and she struggles a lot.
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Now, she knows who we are,
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But she can't remember
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A lot of other things. - yeah, right.
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- and so what that required was my sister
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And i having to figure out how to take care of my mom,
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Get her into assisted living, and it became,
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With some family members, an incredible battle to the point
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Where we had to call lawyers,
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Just was incredibly difficult.
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I wasn't sleeping at night.
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I have probably developed over the last few years
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This ability to be able to go to sleep with peace.
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I know what to declare over myself.
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I'm, when i, anytime i feel anxiety, i go into gratitude.
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I, i have all of these practices
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Or disciplines that i figured out.
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But this was one place that i couldn't,
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'cause it was so deeply touching a really deep place
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In my heart.
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And so in the middle of all of this, my sister
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And i were talking on the phone, we're praying,
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What are we gonna do with mom?
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What are we gonna do with the other people that are trying
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To do other things that at the end of the day,
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We're just trying to make sure that mom's okay?
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And so we had just gotten off the phone from praying
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And i was in starbucks as you do, right?
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Because after you pray, shouldn't you be at starbucks?
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- yeah, getting a coffee. - absolutely, yes, coffee.
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- so while i'm sitting there in the, in the starbucks line,
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I'm praying, i'm like, "lord, i don't know.
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It...
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I know you're good and you have a good result,
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But it feels like we're not able to move it forward.
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We're just stuck."
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And i felt like god said to look up.
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And when i looked up, the car in front of me
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Was a car that's called a defender.
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Well, i didn't even know there was cars called defenders.
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And so i thought, "well, that's great."
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And then i looked down and the license plate said, mom,
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And god said, "i'm the defender of your mom."
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- wow! - wow!
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- so now i believe god can speak to us
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Through anything anything, right?
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He used a donkey, but just, i always love confirming it
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In the word, and i had never done a word study
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On god being our defender.
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And so i thought, "well, let me see
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Where that is in the scripture."
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So psalms 68:5 says that, "he has a father to the fatherless
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And a defender of widows."
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- amen.
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- and i thought, "you, okay,
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You are the one who's gonna defend mom."
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And that word defender
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In the original language means kinsman redeemer.
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- yes.
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- in this specific scripture, it means judge.
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So god was basically telling me
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That i will handle the legalities
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Of making sure your mom
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Is taken care of. - wow!
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Wow!
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- you don't have to fight it.
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And then he said this, "stop using self-defense
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Because it's only delaying god's defense."
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- wow! - that's right.
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- and so i realized, you know,
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I've seen god do so many things in the battles
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In our lives through, through all kinds of things,
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With our marriage, with our ministry,
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With our kids, all kinds of things,
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But this one in particular, i have discovered
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This whole different side of god as the defender
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Consistently, even since that point from last year,
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Where he still will alert us to things that are happening
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That we shouldn't know about,
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But god's like either a dream or a vision,
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Or i'll just drop it in our spirit
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And then he confer, we'll go check it out.
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And at the end of the day, it wasn't whether we won or lost.
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- right.
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- it was whether god took care of my mom.
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- come on.
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- and i think at the end of the day, when we fight a battle,
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It's knowing who is our defender and whose battle it is.
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Like we talked this week about, he already said,
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It is finished 2,000 years ago.
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The battle's already been won,
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But yet we still wrestle as though it's up to us.
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(gentle music)
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I love that god invites us to let him fight our battles,
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Because we don't have the capacity to fight a battle
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And win in our own strength.
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We need his power.
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In fact, if we keep using self-defense,
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Then we almost prohibit god's defense.
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He is the defender.
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And i love this idea
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Of god overarching, over like embracing us,
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Watching over us.
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And while i could say, god, why did you let this happen
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Or that happen?
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Why is all of this happening around me?
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Probably the better question would be not why,
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But what do you wanna do with all this right now?
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Because i can guarantee god is moving on your behalf
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Even when you can't see it.
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He's working the victory even when you can't see it.
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So it's important because what god can do,
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'cause also he doesn't just have our view,
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He has like heaven's view, so he can see the end,
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The beginning, the middle.
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He sees all the pieces.
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And besides, you have no idea,
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The battle you're in right now,
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God's already won it 2,000 years ago on the cross,
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But your part of the story is part
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Of a much bigger story, right?
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From the beginning of time to the end,
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Our placeholder is releasing god's hands to work,
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Not just for us, but for the next generation.
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(gentle music continues)
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So talk to me, have you ever had a moment
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Where you've had to rely?
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I know you have,
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(participants laugh)
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Your time to rely on god.
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- well, i just love the scripture where he says,
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"vengeance is mine."
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- yes.
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- you know, there's not a whole lot of scripture
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Where he talks about something being mine.
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- yes. - hmm.
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- and i remember just one day being in a situation
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And i heard those words
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As this declarative, "vengeance is mine."
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And it was like, okay, then that means we can't touch it.
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That was a do not touch.
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- yeah.
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- that's, that belongs to me.
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- very good.
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- we get to rest in that.
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The battle belongs to him.
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He says, "vengeance is mine."
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So no matter what happens--
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- yeah.
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- [participant] what can man do to me?
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- right.
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- everything passes through him before it touches us.
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- yeah. - and so, again, i believe
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That everything that comes our way,
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Every circumstance, everything is a call, call to our faith,
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Abating our passion.
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What do i, what do i believe now?
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What do i believe today?
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- yeah. - who, who do you say
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That i am?
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I do remember a few years ago something happened
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And came from a friend and--
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- that's the hardest one.
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- i know. - that's so tough.
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- yeah. - talk tough trail statement.
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That's devastating, yeah.
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- and something i was completely unaware of.
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- [participant] yeah.
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- i remember hearing about it
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After it already hit the news and social media
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And it just, it just wrecked me
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Because i thought, "would people actually think that?"
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I didn't even know about this situation,
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You know, and now you're just all about it.
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- wow!
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- and even friends that have sat here since
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As well on this set
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Chimed in just-- - wow!
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- just being supportive of that person
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In their plight. - so sorry, lord.
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- and it was like, what the heck?
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You know?
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- [participant] yeah.
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- nothing against me, but just, you know, standing with you
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And it hurt my feelings.
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- yeah.
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- people started checking in on me.
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And i remember,
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And everybody was saying, you guys have to make a statement.
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And my husband was like, "i wouldn't reply to that for...
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I will not reply to that until me
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And him make a statement together."
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- wow!
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- you know, and he, he says,
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"nobody's gonna bully me into a statement of standing
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And defending myself, you know."
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Finally, about three days into it,
00:08:05.063 --> 00:08:07.399
Everybody's telling matt that he's got a reply
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And he's not doing it, and i'm going,
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"i don't want people ever thinking that about, you know?"
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And he looks at me, he goes, "what?
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What's wrong with you?"
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You know?
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And i said, "i don't want..."
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He goes, "you are the same person that you are,
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That you woke up sunday morning, you."
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- the same person that you are today.
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He said, "what is wrong with you? why would you?"
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You know?
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But i know what that feels like
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And i know what it feels like too.
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I don't want that person ever believing that stuff.
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- [donna] yeah. - [susie] right.
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- but letting god take care of that stuff
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And then it turns into a nothing.
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And then the truth comes out.
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God does such a more beautiful way of taking care
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Of things when you leave it to him, you know?
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And sometimes it takes a lot of patience
00:08:56.715 --> 00:08:59.351
Because it can keep happening and keep happening.
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I mean, we've all gone through stuff and you're like,
00:09:01.553 --> 00:09:04.255
"lord, why are you letting this continue?"
00:09:04.255 --> 00:09:06.191
But what god sees, that's the way i always see it.
00:09:06.191 --> 00:09:09.127
We'll all stand before god one day all by ourselves.
00:09:09.127 --> 00:09:12.297
There's no one to blame, there's no one to go,
00:09:12.297 --> 00:09:14.032
"well, they made, you know?"
00:09:14.032 --> 00:09:15.600
There's no, "the devil made me do it."
00:09:15.600 --> 00:09:17.636
There's none of that, you know,
00:09:17.636 --> 00:09:19.537
And we stand before the lord.
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So the lord sees it all
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And we can trust him to take care of it.
00:09:22.707 --> 00:09:24.709
- well, i think that's the whole thing,
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Living in light of eternity.
00:09:25.810 --> 00:09:27.245
Sometimes we're just like right here, right now,
00:09:27.245 --> 00:09:28.880
And it just feels like it's overwhelming.
00:09:28.880 --> 00:09:30.415
But we forget one day you're standing in front of him.
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And all of this is nothing.
00:09:34.152 --> 00:09:35.820
- yes.
00:09:35.820 --> 00:09:37.455
- letting god fight our battles first and foremost.
00:09:37.455 --> 00:09:39.691
I mean, we are to put on our armor every day.
00:09:39.691 --> 00:09:41.593
And to me, when you put on the armor, you put on jesus,
00:09:41.593 --> 00:09:44.729
You know, you put on the shoes of peace.
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He's the prince of peace.
00:09:46.164 --> 00:09:47.365
He equips you to fight your battles.
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He equips you to stand in battle.
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When you put on the belt of truth, he is the truth,
00:09:51.002 --> 00:09:53.471
And that belt holds all the armor together
00:09:53.471 --> 00:09:56.007
And it really stands for living up to what we already know.
00:09:56.007 --> 00:09:59.110
Living not a duplicit life, but a life of honor
00:09:59.110 --> 00:10:01.546
Because we're living in the truth.
00:10:01.546 --> 00:10:03.281
The breastplate of righteousness,
00:10:03.281 --> 00:10:05.183
We are the righteousness of god in christ jesus.
00:10:05.183 --> 00:10:07.585
Like what jesus did covers our life and our heart.
00:10:07.585 --> 00:10:10.955
It's just amazing to think about.
00:10:10.955 --> 00:10:12.557
We have the helmet of salvation,
00:10:12.557 --> 00:10:13.892
Which means we have the mind of christ
00:10:13.892 --> 00:10:15.760
And we have an eternal perspective
00:10:15.760 --> 00:10:17.462
And we get to have one because of what jesus did.
00:10:17.462 --> 00:10:20.165
We have the shield of faith.
00:10:20.165 --> 00:10:21.700
Psalm 18:35 says, "you give me your shield of victory.
00:10:21.700 --> 00:10:25.136
Your right hand sustains me.
00:10:25.136 --> 00:10:26.938
You stoop down to make me great."
00:10:26.938 --> 00:10:28.740
And then we have the sword. it's the word of god.
00:10:28.740 --> 00:10:31.109
John's gospel, it says, "in the beginning was the word
00:10:31.109 --> 00:10:33.311
And the word was god."
00:10:33.311 --> 00:10:34.379
The word was with god.
00:10:34.379 --> 00:10:35.680
The word became flesh and dwelt among it.
00:10:35.680 --> 00:10:37.082
So we put on the armor, we put on christ.
00:10:37.082 --> 00:10:39.417
And i don't think you can see your battle clearly
00:10:39.417 --> 00:10:41.586
Or interpret it rightly without putting on christ
00:10:41.586 --> 00:10:44.556
Or really like stepping into the reality
00:10:44.556 --> 00:10:46.691
Of christ in me, my hope of glory.
00:10:46.691 --> 00:10:48.860
And then you just remind yourself of your identity.
00:10:48.860 --> 00:10:52.630
And then you discern, what does obedience look like here?
00:10:52.630 --> 00:10:55.333
What takes more faith for me?
00:10:55.333 --> 00:10:56.968
Because there'll be times where it takes more faith
00:10:56.968 --> 00:10:59.270
To step back, tuck yourself under his wing,
00:10:59.270 --> 00:11:01.639
And let him defend you.
00:11:01.639 --> 00:11:02.941
Other times, it'll take more faith to stand up
00:11:02.941 --> 00:11:05.744
And have a hard conversation.
00:11:05.744 --> 00:11:07.512
And i don't know that we do that so well
00:11:07.512 --> 00:11:09.380
In the body of christ,
00:11:09.380 --> 00:11:10.682
So i would say there's not a one size fits all.
00:11:10.682 --> 00:11:13.151
Put on christ, you align with him,
00:11:13.151 --> 00:11:15.520
You remember who you are in him,
00:11:15.520 --> 00:11:17.021
And then you take your cues from him.
00:11:17.021 --> 00:11:19.190
If jesus didn't make a move without the father's input,
00:11:19.190 --> 00:11:22.026
We must not either.
00:11:22.026 --> 00:11:23.661
So we let the spirit guide and guard and we follow his lead.
00:11:23.661 --> 00:11:26.631
- i remember years ago, somebody i really trusted,
00:11:27.632 --> 00:11:30.335
I actually thought they were a really good friend,
00:11:30.335 --> 00:11:32.771
Went to pat robertson while i was co-hosting "the 700 club"
00:11:32.771 --> 00:11:35.807
And said that i had made my whole story up.
00:11:35.807 --> 00:11:38.176
My father never died by suicide,
00:11:38.176 --> 00:11:40.345
That i was a pathological liar,
00:11:40.345 --> 00:11:42.347
And that he should know that.
00:11:42.347 --> 00:11:43.848
And pat called me up to his office
00:11:43.848 --> 00:11:45.917
Because he was really kind to me and told me.
00:11:45.917 --> 00:11:48.953
And i was just, i mean, i was devastated.
00:11:48.953 --> 00:11:51.422
- that's devastating.
00:11:51.422 --> 00:11:52.791
- and my immediate thought is, how can i get proof?
00:11:52.791 --> 00:11:54.259
Can i get my mom in the phone while i do?
00:11:54.259 --> 00:11:56.661
And he was like, "you know, sheila, you have
00:11:56.661 --> 00:11:58.062
To make a decision whether you're going to spend
00:11:58.062 --> 00:11:59.898
The rest of your life trying to put out little fires
00:11:59.898 --> 00:12:03.168
Or if you're going to say,
00:12:03.168 --> 00:12:04.536
I'm hiding myself under the shelter of his wings."
00:12:04.536 --> 00:12:07.472
And it was such a good thing for me because i wanted,
00:12:07.472 --> 00:12:11.176
I thought, "well, i need to find out
00:12:11.176 --> 00:12:12.577
How many people you've said it to so i can stop it."
00:12:12.577 --> 00:12:15.547
And it was like, "well, you can choose to do
00:12:15.547 --> 00:12:17.348
That if you want or"-
00:12:17.348 --> 00:12:18.783
- but you're going to spend the rest
00:12:18.783 --> 00:12:19.918
Of your life doing that. - yeah, exactly,
00:12:19.918 --> 00:12:21.519
Because there'll be somebody else, you know?
00:12:21.519 --> 00:12:23.321
- take a number. - and it's like,
00:12:23.321 --> 00:12:24.489
Is there truth in what they said?
00:12:24.489 --> 00:12:26.124
No, there's not. okay.
00:12:26.124 --> 00:12:27.759
So do you trust the lord? yes.
00:12:27.759 --> 00:12:29.928
And this is what it looks like.
00:12:29.928 --> 00:12:31.429
- wow.
00:12:31.429 --> 00:12:32.797
- and i love that question that matt asked you.
00:12:32.797 --> 00:12:34.432
Have you changed? - yeah.
00:12:34.432 --> 00:12:35.900
- yeah. the same person that you were.
00:12:35.900 --> 00:12:39.537
- and so in the middle of that,
00:12:39.537 --> 00:12:40.805
Did you and matt figure that out?
00:12:40.805 --> 00:12:43.041
Did you have other people supporting you?
00:12:43.041 --> 00:12:45.143
Like what did that look like? - oh yeah.
00:12:45.143 --> 00:12:46.477
Well, friends started calling us, you know,
00:12:46.477 --> 00:12:48.613
And it was just, you know what, we'll deal with him
00:12:48.613 --> 00:12:51.983
And we'll talk about it and just get it cleared up.
00:12:51.983 --> 00:12:54.819
You know?
00:12:54.819 --> 00:12:56.120
And it turned out to be a complete nothing
00:12:56.120 --> 00:12:58.756
After all that was said and done, you know?
00:12:58.756 --> 00:13:01.793
But i think we all have a opportunity there to trust god.
00:13:01.793 --> 00:13:06.331
Years ago, someone spoke to us and they said,
00:13:06.331 --> 00:13:09.267
"god will write your reputation.
00:13:09.267 --> 00:13:10.902
Don't you ever worry about your reputation."
00:13:10.902 --> 00:13:12.704
- beautiful. - yeah.
00:13:12.704 --> 00:13:14.172
- and so my reputation is in god's hands, you know?
00:13:14.172 --> 00:13:17.675
So you can just rest in that.
00:13:17.675 --> 00:13:20.778
- well, it also makes me think too about, you know,
00:13:20.778 --> 00:13:22.780
The other side of this, and it's gossiping.
00:13:22.780 --> 00:13:26.417
That in and of itself, there's such a heaviness
00:13:26.417 --> 00:13:29.320
To the delivery, right?
00:13:29.320 --> 00:13:32.590
Like that's gossiping, it's slander.
00:13:32.590 --> 00:13:34.792
And the lord speaks so clearly about that.
00:13:34.792 --> 00:13:36.961
And like the power of our words
00:13:36.961 --> 00:13:39.130
And the power of our delivery of our words, of our why.
00:13:39.130 --> 00:13:42.066
And you know, going back to that hurt people hurt people.
00:13:42.066 --> 00:13:44.602
It's such a true thing when you look at somebody
00:13:44.602 --> 00:13:46.504
Who is willing to slander someone
00:13:46.504 --> 00:13:50.041
Or gossip so viciously, right?
00:13:50.041 --> 00:13:52.977
And you know, of course, i'm sure i've definitely
00:13:52.977 --> 00:13:55.213
Had situations like that happened for me
00:13:55.213 --> 00:13:57.582
And i was not as wise as any of you.
00:13:57.582 --> 00:13:59.751
(everyone laughs)
00:13:59.751 --> 00:14:01.052
I did pick up the phone and chase people down.
00:14:01.052 --> 00:14:04.022
I didn't have someone to say like,
00:14:04.022 --> 00:14:05.256
"you don't have to do that."
00:14:05.256 --> 00:14:06.858
And i remember talking to my husband about our situation
00:14:06.858 --> 00:14:09.394
And he similarly said like, "do you know who you are?"
00:14:09.394 --> 00:14:12.697
And i think, you know, thinking about genesis, right?
00:14:12.697 --> 00:14:15.233
And the lord says, like, "where are you?"
00:14:15.233 --> 00:14:16.768
And your husband saying to you like, "did you forget?
00:14:16.768 --> 00:14:18.403
Are you not the same person?"
00:14:18.403 --> 00:14:19.671
In the same way, my husband mario was like,
00:14:19.671 --> 00:14:21.205
"do you not know who you are? do you not know the truth?
00:14:21.205 --> 00:14:23.441
Do you not know your identity?"
00:14:23.441 --> 00:14:25.043
And i think for me, it began a journey of doing the work
00:14:25.043 --> 00:14:29.280
Of identity work is what i call it,
00:14:29.280 --> 00:14:30.748
Like figuring out whose i am and who i am.
00:14:30.748 --> 00:14:33.084
And the lord in the midst of that season
00:14:33.084 --> 00:14:35.386
Revealed my deep need for approval
00:14:35.386 --> 00:14:38.990
And how i'd made the affirmation
00:14:39.624 --> 00:14:41.926
Of people an idol in my life.
00:14:41.926 --> 00:14:43.728
I mean, it was a vicious cycle of i need people to love me,
00:14:43.728 --> 00:14:47.165
I need them to know the truth, i need them to see me,
00:14:47.165 --> 00:14:49.167
I need them to accept me, i need to belong.
00:14:49.167 --> 00:14:51.869
And so this was like devastating when i felt the betrayal
00:14:51.869 --> 00:14:54.339
And it was somebody close to me too,
00:14:54.339 --> 00:14:55.573
Or somebody who i thought you could trust.
00:14:55.573 --> 00:14:57.475
And it always hurts more when it's somebody
00:14:57.475 --> 00:14:59.210
That you have proximity to
00:14:59.210 --> 00:15:00.545
And that you think should know you,
00:15:00.545 --> 00:15:03.181
But has chosen to misunderstand you.
00:15:03.181 --> 00:15:05.350
- and sometimes it feels like survival.
00:15:05.350 --> 00:15:07.618
Trying to defend yourself. - it does. yeah.
00:15:08.486 --> 00:15:10.722
I do think that there's an element of
00:15:10.722 --> 00:15:12.924
Do we know whose we are so that we can let
00:15:12.924 --> 00:15:15.426
God fight our battles?
00:15:15.426 --> 00:15:16.594
Like there was something there for me,
00:15:16.594 --> 00:15:17.862
A lesson of god really exposing my idol.
00:15:17.862 --> 00:15:21.766
And i think it's very difficult to allow god
00:15:21.766 --> 00:15:23.768
To fight your battles when you are idolizing the love
00:15:23.768 --> 00:15:26.504
Of people more than his love for you.
00:15:26.504 --> 00:15:28.539
It was incredibly difficult for me.
00:15:28.539 --> 00:15:30.408
I did not recognize god's love in the way
00:15:30.408 --> 00:15:33.911
That he would avenge for me or avenge the things of my life
00:15:33.911 --> 00:15:37.115
Because i was so consumed by wanting the approval of others.
00:15:37.115 --> 00:15:41.119
- if we don't know the root system
00:15:41.853 --> 00:15:44.756
Of our identity in christ,
00:15:44.756 --> 00:15:47.191
We will never be able to release to him the battle,
00:15:47.191 --> 00:15:52.163
The difficulty, the pain.
00:15:52.163 --> 00:15:53.765
So who god says you are is profound, powerful.
00:15:53.765 --> 00:15:58.436
I wonder how many of us actually have an inkling
00:15:58.436 --> 00:16:02.206
Of who god knows us to be and who he's created
00:16:02.206 --> 00:16:05.676
And called us to be.
00:16:05.676 --> 00:16:07.278
And so understanding your identity, honestly,
00:16:07.278 --> 00:16:10.148
It's only found in christ.
00:16:10.148 --> 00:16:11.916
Culture's going to try to tell you who you are.
00:16:12.850 --> 00:16:14.652
Experiences will try to tell you who you are.
00:16:14.652 --> 00:16:17.055
Failure will try to tell you who you are.
00:16:17.055 --> 00:16:19.490
You've got a million voices,
00:16:19.490 --> 00:16:21.426
But none of them are going to build into you
00:16:22.326 --> 00:16:23.795
The way god does.
00:16:23.795 --> 00:16:25.163
God's identity over you restores you, redeems you,
00:16:25.163 --> 00:16:28.666
And actually brings us to the space
00:16:29.467 --> 00:16:32.003
Of who he created us to be.
00:16:32.003 --> 00:16:33.805
You can only find your identity in him
00:16:34.639 --> 00:16:37.108
And what he says and speaks over you.
00:16:37.108 --> 00:16:40.044
(upbeat music)
00:16:40.044 --> 00:16:41.212
- we want to hear from you.
00:16:41.212 --> 00:16:43.548
- connect with us on social media
00:16:43.548 --> 00:16:45.183
To ask a question or share a prayer request.
00:16:45.183 --> 00:16:47.819
- let's encourage one another and get better together.
00:16:47.819 --> 00:16:51.122
- [narrator] let's keep the conversation going.
00:16:52.056 --> 00:16:54.292
You can find the "better together" podcast
00:16:54.292 --> 00:16:56.327
On your favorite listening platform.
00:16:56.327 --> 00:16:58.396
Subscribe today.
00:16:58.396 --> 00:17:02.993
(gentle music)
00:17:03.202 --> 00:17:06.238
- and i think that's so important
00:17:06.238 --> 00:17:07.506
Because i think there's times, like for myself,
00:17:07.506 --> 00:17:09.875
Same battles, is that you go into a room
00:17:09.875 --> 00:17:12.077
And you assume that you know what people
00:17:12.077 --> 00:17:14.012
Are thinking about you.
00:17:14.012 --> 00:17:15.481
So i remember coming back from whatever event it was
00:17:15.481 --> 00:17:17.616
And saying to my husband,
00:17:17.616 --> 00:17:18.917
"well, i felt like so and so leveled me."
00:17:18.917 --> 00:17:20.185
Have you ever heard that terminology before?
00:17:20.185 --> 00:17:22.020
Like i walked in there and they just leveled me
00:17:22.020 --> 00:17:23.789
With whatever.
00:17:23.789 --> 00:17:25.057
And dennis said, "well, why'd you let them?
00:17:25.057 --> 00:17:27.126
Their opinion of you doesn't matter.
00:17:27.126 --> 00:17:29.361
You have to know who you are."
00:17:29.995 --> 00:17:31.263
It's going back to, you have to know who you are
00:17:31.263 --> 00:17:34.266
In the core of who you are.
00:17:34.266 --> 00:17:36.168
I think it was eleanor roosevelt who said,
00:17:36.168 --> 00:17:37.903
"nobody can make you feel insecure without your permission."
00:17:37.903 --> 00:17:40.472
- that's right. that's true.
00:17:40.472 --> 00:17:41.673
- so i think that's the whole thing.
00:17:41.673 --> 00:17:42.908
It's going back to my defender is god.
00:17:42.908 --> 00:17:46.278
And i'm a connector, i love connecting.
00:17:46.278 --> 00:17:48.113
I love people, i love a party, i love all of it.
00:17:48.113 --> 00:17:52.117
And if i haven't felt a connection with you,
00:17:52.117 --> 00:17:54.253
Then i'm irritated.
00:17:54.253 --> 00:17:55.521
- instantly you're like, "what's going on?"
00:17:55.521 --> 00:17:56.655
- [donna] yeah. - yeah, for sure.
00:17:56.655 --> 00:17:57.956
- it must be you and i can become offended
00:17:57.956 --> 00:18:00.659
By the lack of what i consider lack of connection.
00:18:00.659 --> 00:18:04.596
So again, it goes back to asking clarifying questions.
00:18:04.596 --> 00:18:07.933
- and we're wired for love, though.
00:18:07.933 --> 00:18:09.268
I mean, god made you to be loved and so,
00:18:09.268 --> 00:18:11.737
I had a friend say this to me
00:18:11.737 --> 00:18:12.771
That i would like to say to you,
00:18:12.771 --> 00:18:14.373
If when you're around people,
00:18:14.373 --> 00:18:15.774
They just don't think you're the most precious,
00:18:15.774 --> 00:18:17.743
Sweet, amazing thing,
00:18:17.743 --> 00:18:19.178
They're not seeing you through jesus' eyes.
00:18:19.178 --> 00:18:21.180
And you wonder, because we're wired for love,
00:18:21.180 --> 00:18:23.248
And yet when there's an embedded lie,
00:18:23.248 --> 00:18:24.850
I'm rejectable, i have people abandon me,
00:18:24.850 --> 00:18:27.719
Then the need for love, it's never filled.
00:18:27.719 --> 00:18:30.155
- right, and it's through imperfect people.
00:18:31.089 --> 00:18:32.324
But i think of, even in the scripture,
00:18:32.324 --> 00:18:33.692
How often you see, like paul was just so anointed,
00:18:33.692 --> 00:18:35.961
It excited the jealousies of others,
00:18:35.961 --> 00:18:37.696
And so they incited a mob against him.
00:18:37.696 --> 00:18:39.131
- yeah.
00:18:39.131 --> 00:18:40.232
- like what in the world motivated-
00:18:40.232 --> 00:18:41.033
- quite literally a mob.
00:18:41.033 --> 00:18:42.100
- yeah. - to stone him.
00:18:42.100 --> 00:18:43.502
To death. (chuckles) - right. exactly.
00:18:43.502 --> 00:18:44.469
Yeah, not just metaphorically.
00:18:44.469 --> 00:18:45.871
- wasn't just metaphorically.
00:18:45.871 --> 00:18:47.039
- a real mob. - it was a literal mob.
00:18:47.039 --> 00:18:49.641
- as long as i've known you, which has been a long time,
00:18:49.641 --> 00:18:51.743
There, i mean, for lack of a better word,
00:18:51.743 --> 00:18:53.178
There's a clear anointing on your life
00:18:53.178 --> 00:18:55.314
And i would attribute it to your humility before the lord.
00:18:55.314 --> 00:18:58.350
So what would excite the jealousy of someone
00:18:58.350 --> 00:19:00.552
To say such a thing to your boss?
00:19:00.552 --> 00:19:03.155
You know, except that they're not dealing with their hearts.
00:19:03.155 --> 00:19:05.991
You know?
00:19:05.991 --> 00:19:07.526
- most of us like to be liked, you know?
00:19:07.526 --> 00:19:09.995
It's just something that's in us.
00:19:09.995 --> 00:19:11.196
It's our human nature that we want
00:19:11.196 --> 00:19:12.831
To be liked by other people.
00:19:12.831 --> 00:19:14.433
And that's good.
00:19:14.433 --> 00:19:15.734
I mean, honestly, it just means we want to be
00:19:15.734 --> 00:19:17.202
The kind of people that people would want to be around.
00:19:17.202 --> 00:19:19.705
You know, we want to be, like, i think kindness
00:19:19.705 --> 00:19:22.407
Is something that is undervalued in our culture
00:19:22.407 --> 00:19:25.010
And undervalued in our church.
00:19:25.010 --> 00:19:27.079
I think being kind is something that's really beautiful.
00:19:27.079 --> 00:19:30.215
But, ultimately, do we make our decisions
00:19:30.215 --> 00:19:32.584
Based on what we think other people will like,
00:19:32.584 --> 00:19:35.254
Or what we think will honor god?
00:19:35.254 --> 00:19:37.522
I remember when my son was little and he'd asked if,
00:19:37.522 --> 00:19:41.026
On every wednesday night, he said,
00:19:41.026 --> 00:19:42.327
"mom, do you think just for a few weeks,
00:19:42.327 --> 00:19:43.829
"every wednesday night, you and i could shoot hoops?"
00:19:43.829 --> 00:19:46.331
And i'm like, "totally, i would love that."
00:19:46.331 --> 00:19:48.634
And then a lady from my neighborhood knocked on the door
00:19:48.634 --> 00:19:50.535
And said, "hey, we were wondering,
00:19:50.535 --> 00:19:52.104
"would you be willing to hold a bible study in your home?"
00:19:52.104 --> 00:19:54.539
And i was like, "actually, i'd love to do that."
00:19:54.539 --> 00:19:56.508
And they said, "well, i've talked to all the other neighbors
00:19:56.508 --> 00:19:57.976
"and wednesday works for us."
00:19:57.976 --> 00:19:59.911
And i said, "actually, i can't do wednesday."
00:19:59.911 --> 00:20:02.080
And she said, "oh, why can't you do wednesday?"
00:20:02.080 --> 00:20:04.349
I said, "because that's when
00:20:04.349 --> 00:20:05.517
"i'm shooting hoops with my son."
00:20:05.517 --> 00:20:07.619
And she said, "are you telling me that it's more important
00:20:07.619 --> 00:20:10.322
"to shoot hoops with your son
00:20:10.322 --> 00:20:11.757
"than it is to have a bible study in your home?"
00:20:11.757 --> 00:20:13.859
And i said, "yeah, actually,
00:20:13.859 --> 00:20:15.127
"that's exactly what i'm telling you."
00:20:15.127 --> 00:20:17.129
Sometimes, you know, when we give our word,
00:20:17.129 --> 00:20:19.531
When we've made a commitment to the lord
00:20:19.531 --> 00:20:20.899
Or to someone in our family,
00:20:20.899 --> 00:20:22.401
Honoring that is way more important
00:20:22.401 --> 00:20:24.770
Than what your neighbors think of you.
00:20:24.770 --> 00:20:27.205
- i had the same idol.
00:20:27.205 --> 00:20:28.607
I don't think you always know it's an idol, though.
00:20:28.607 --> 00:20:30.342
I think it's-
00:20:30.342 --> 00:20:31.310
- i want you to speak to that.
00:20:31.310 --> 00:20:32.277
- yeah. - it's important.
00:20:32.277 --> 00:20:33.578
- i was a young mom and i had a lot of trauma
00:20:33.578 --> 00:20:36.048
And a lot of, you know, people pleasing
00:20:36.048 --> 00:20:38.016
And i had a lot of fear of man.
00:20:38.016 --> 00:20:39.584
I could never have articulated that, but i was never free.
00:20:39.584 --> 00:20:42.254
I was never at home in my body.
00:20:42.254 --> 00:20:44.122
And we were talking in the car on the way over here,
00:20:44.122 --> 00:20:46.458
There's a study note about saul,
00:20:46.458 --> 00:20:48.327
And the commentator said
00:20:48.327 --> 00:20:50.395
Because saul never let god's love give rest to saul's heart,
00:20:50.395 --> 00:20:55.334
He never became, fully became, god's man.
00:20:55.334 --> 00:20:57.669
He never allowed god's love to bring rest to his heart,
00:20:57.669 --> 00:21:00.105
So he never fully, like- - wow. that's powerful.
00:21:00.105 --> 00:21:01.640
- and even the fact that god said through samuel,
00:21:01.640 --> 00:21:04.509
"i would've done so much more with you and for you."
00:21:04.509 --> 00:21:07.045
- wow.
00:21:07.045 --> 00:21:08.313
- so for me, the honest truth was i wasn't free.
00:21:08.313 --> 00:21:10.282
I was insecure. - yeah.
00:21:10.282 --> 00:21:11.383
- i assumed people were, you know-
00:21:11.383 --> 00:21:13.518
- yeah.
00:21:13.518 --> 00:21:14.820
- gonna stab me in the back or i wasn't enough,
00:21:14.820 --> 00:21:16.154
And i was a young mom and i had some friends
00:21:16.154 --> 00:21:18.557
And i was sensing a duplicity,
00:21:18.557 --> 00:21:19.958
And, i mean, i just like, is everything okay?
00:21:19.958 --> 00:21:22.194
Oh yeah, we're good.
00:21:22.194 --> 00:21:23.328
Sure everything's okay?
00:21:23.328 --> 00:21:24.196
No, we're good.
00:21:24.196 --> 00:21:25.163
And i just, i could sense it
00:21:25.163 --> 00:21:26.765
And in due time people would come up to me.
00:21:26.765 --> 00:21:28.633
You know what they're saying about you?
00:21:28.633 --> 00:21:29.901
- yeah.
00:21:29.901 --> 00:21:31.269
- and some of the stuff they were saying was true.
00:21:31.269 --> 00:21:32.404
Like, you have weird hair, you know.
00:21:32.404 --> 00:21:34.606
(panelists laughing) i had bad hair then, you know?
00:21:34.606 --> 00:21:35.941
- i know. - yeah, i know.
00:21:35.941 --> 00:21:38.043
- it's on my head. - i'm fully aware of that.
00:21:38.043 --> 00:21:40.512
- if you'd just said it to my face, we would've agreed
00:21:40.512 --> 00:21:42.447
And, you know- - yeah. (laughs)
00:21:42.447 --> 00:21:43.849
- but i mean, and they were just, you talk too fast,
00:21:43.849 --> 00:21:45.417
And they were picking me apart
00:21:45.417 --> 00:21:47.219
And it just morphed into things that were lies.
00:21:47.219 --> 00:21:49.354
- so true. - and i had so much,
00:21:49.354 --> 00:21:51.456
I couldn't even believe strangers were coming up to me
00:21:51.456 --> 00:21:54.025
And they were making assessments about me and about my kids
00:21:54.025 --> 00:21:56.862
And it was a nightmare come true.
00:21:56.862 --> 00:21:59.231
And looking back, i mean,
00:21:59.231 --> 00:22:00.565
I really do believe i needed that to happen.
00:22:00.565 --> 00:22:02.467
I don't think god sent it, but somebody once said,
00:22:02.467 --> 00:22:05.103
God will either bless or afflict you
00:22:05.103 --> 00:22:07.005
With people according to your need.
00:22:07.005 --> 00:22:08.807
And i- - i think that's true.
00:22:08.807 --> 00:22:10.208
- i needed the gap to widen- - absolutely.
00:22:10.208 --> 00:22:11.810
- between how god affected me and people affected me.
00:22:11.810 --> 00:22:13.879
I had a true fear of man and it was devastating me,
00:22:13.879 --> 00:22:17.449
And god's like, "well, are you gonna bless them
00:22:17.449 --> 00:22:19.117
"or are you not?"
00:22:19.117 --> 00:22:20.652
And i got up and just started to pray blessing on them.
00:22:20.652 --> 00:22:22.187
And the more that i did that, the more that i felt like-
00:22:22.187 --> 00:22:24.289
- exactly. - yes.
00:22:24.289 --> 00:22:25.857
- they don't know what they're doing, god, forgive them.
00:22:25.857 --> 00:22:27.125
- they really, really- - compassion.
00:22:27.125 --> 00:22:28.093
- don't know what they're doing.
00:22:28.093 --> 00:22:29.394
And i wouldn't play whack-a-mole either.
00:22:29.394 --> 00:22:30.529
I thought, i'm not gonna run around
00:22:30.529 --> 00:22:31.696
And try to defend my reputation.
00:22:31.696 --> 00:22:33.365
- whack-a-mole. that's good. - yeah.
00:22:33.365 --> 00:22:34.599
- that's exactly what it is.
00:22:34.599 --> 00:22:35.801
- yeah, and that's what i wanted to,
00:22:35.801 --> 00:22:38.036
Because i wanted to defend my honor,
00:22:38.036 --> 00:22:39.938
But he could do it so much better, as you were saying.
00:22:39.938 --> 00:22:42.240
So i will just say, in due time, i rose up victorious
00:22:42.240 --> 00:22:46.445
Before they ever stopped gossiping.
00:22:46.445 --> 00:22:48.079
And it was, one woman came to me years later
00:22:48.079 --> 00:22:49.815
And she goes, "i don't know what happened,"
00:22:49.815 --> 00:22:51.917
But she said, "we just found that we loved to hate you."
00:22:51.917 --> 00:22:55.086
- oh! - and she said,
00:22:55.086 --> 00:22:56.221
And it just picked up steam. - ouch.
00:22:56.221 --> 00:22:57.355
- wow. - and, but i'm like,
00:22:57.355 --> 00:22:58.757
"well, you gave me a great gift."
00:22:58.757 --> 00:23:00.592
- yeah. - because it helped me
00:23:00.592 --> 00:23:01.993
Break free from the of others' opinions.
00:23:01.993 --> 00:23:05.430
- it's such a natural thing to stand up
00:23:05.430 --> 00:23:07.999
And defend yourself, to stand up and make it right.
00:23:07.999 --> 00:23:11.036
I've gotta make it right.
00:23:11.036 --> 00:23:12.404
People can't think this about me, all that stuff.
00:23:12.404 --> 00:23:14.940
And that can be just torment.
00:23:14.940 --> 00:23:16.475
It can be for me, anyway.
00:23:16.475 --> 00:23:18.076
I want people to love me (laughs) and
00:23:18.076 --> 00:23:21.480
Think good about me,
00:23:21.480 --> 00:23:22.781
But not everybody does.
00:23:22.781 --> 00:23:25.684
I think the best thing to do
00:23:26.284 --> 00:23:28.520
Is to always be quiet. (chuckles)
00:23:28.520 --> 00:23:31.156
I mean, i know that there's things that we,
00:23:31.156 --> 00:23:33.925
For righteousness sake, we can stand up for,
00:23:33.925 --> 00:23:37.062
But as far as slander and people saying, you know,
00:23:37.062 --> 00:23:41.700
It just doesn't matter.
00:23:41.700 --> 00:23:43.235
It doesn't matter what man says.
00:23:43.235 --> 00:23:45.003
It does not matter.
00:23:45.003 --> 00:23:47.772
What can man do to you?
00:23:47.772 --> 00:23:50.475
Nothing.
00:23:50.475 --> 00:23:51.343
God is in control.
00:23:51.343 --> 00:23:52.978
God sees the beginning, from the beginning to the end.
00:23:52.978 --> 00:23:56.515
God knows, god will be your defender
00:23:56.515 --> 00:23:59.951
And god will take care of it.
00:23:59.951 --> 00:24:02.020
God will move on people's hearts.
00:24:02.020 --> 00:24:04.489
Even if they don't, it's okay.
00:24:04.489 --> 00:24:06.691
God has you and god will make your reputation for you.
00:24:06.691 --> 00:24:09.828
So you think about the people, the children of god,
00:24:10.862 --> 00:24:13.899
The israelites at the red sea.
00:24:13.899 --> 00:24:16.835
So they've been delivered.
00:24:16.835 --> 00:24:18.570
They're at the red sea and the enemy is coming.
00:24:18.570 --> 00:24:23.842
He's closing in. (chuckles)
00:24:24.442 --> 00:24:26.278
And god says, "just be still.
00:24:26.278 --> 00:24:29.614
"i'll fight your battle. just be still."
00:24:29.614 --> 00:24:32.918
Well, still's the last thing that they want,
00:24:32.918 --> 00:24:35.320
'cause they're coming, they're...
00:24:35.320 --> 00:24:36.755
You know, and for him to say be still,
00:24:36.755 --> 00:24:39.591
And i think so, so much of the time,
00:24:39.591 --> 00:24:41.593
That's what we need to do.
00:24:41.593 --> 00:24:42.794
We need to be still. - so good.
00:24:42.794 --> 00:24:44.496
- and let god- - absolutely.
00:24:44.496 --> 00:24:45.797
- because just because you're being still,
00:24:45.797 --> 00:24:46.932
It doesn't mean nothing's happening.
00:24:46.932 --> 00:24:48.667
- yes. - right.
00:24:48.667 --> 00:24:49.801
God's getting ready to do something
00:24:49.801 --> 00:24:52.203
And that's probably the last thing
00:24:52.203 --> 00:24:54.239
That they were thinking about is being still.
00:24:54.239 --> 00:24:56.541
- yeah. - and then it says
00:24:56.541 --> 00:24:57.842
That they walked across on dry ground.
00:24:57.842 --> 00:25:01.279
- yeah. - stillness is not weakness.
00:25:01.279 --> 00:25:03.014
It's trust under pressure.
00:25:03.014 --> 00:25:04.683
- yeah. - so good.
00:25:04.683 --> 00:25:05.884
- isn't that good? - it's beautiful.
00:25:05.884 --> 00:25:06.685
- yes.
00:25:06.685 --> 00:25:08.119
- and so trusting god in those times that we want to...
00:25:08.119 --> 00:25:11.056
I'm quick. i can be quick.
00:25:11.056 --> 00:25:12.591
I'm a fighter, so i can be quick with my tongue.
00:25:12.591 --> 00:25:15.493
That's our most dangerous weapon, is our tongue.
00:25:15.493 --> 00:25:19.030
And so i think walking in obedience
00:25:19.030 --> 00:25:22.000
A lot of times means shut up.
00:25:22.000 --> 00:25:23.768
- yeah. - yeah.
00:25:23.768 --> 00:25:24.636
- right? - no, truly.
00:25:24.636 --> 00:25:25.870
- right. - just shut your mouth.
00:25:25.870 --> 00:25:27.472
Because sometimes i have felt, if i say something right now,
00:25:27.472 --> 00:25:32.177
I'm gonna curse myself.
00:25:32.177 --> 00:25:33.578
- yeah. - yeah.
00:25:33.578 --> 00:25:34.646
- wow. - right. that's true.
00:25:34.646 --> 00:25:35.780
- and so i have got to be quiet.
00:25:35.780 --> 00:25:38.350
Just shut it and let god take care of it.
00:25:39.217 --> 00:25:41.119
'cause god sees, god knows.
00:25:41.119 --> 00:25:42.787
God knows how it makes me feel, too.
00:25:42.787 --> 00:25:44.522
- yeah. - that's true.
00:25:44.522 --> 00:25:45.523
- he does. - he does.
00:25:45.523 --> 00:25:46.725
- it's not lost on him, and he cares.
00:25:46.725 --> 00:25:47.826
- god cares about it and wants to-
00:25:47.826 --> 00:25:49.094
- [laurie] yeah, and he will take care of this.
00:25:49.094 --> 00:25:50.695
- yeah. - but that being still
00:25:50.695 --> 00:25:53.298
Is trusting god.
00:25:53.298 --> 00:25:56.234
- you know, i did a word study on psalm 46 10,
00:25:56.234 --> 00:25:58.370
"be still and know that he is god,
00:25:58.370 --> 00:25:59.804
"cease striving and know that he is god."
00:25:59.804 --> 00:26:01.272
And that cease striving, be still means let go,
00:26:01.272 --> 00:26:04.476
Sink down, relax and be quiet.
00:26:04.476 --> 00:26:06.411
That's what it means. - yes.
00:26:06.411 --> 00:26:07.679
- and so in any area of, that you feel restless,
00:26:07.679 --> 00:26:09.848
Where you wanna take matters into your own hands,
00:26:09.848 --> 00:26:11.750
You let go, and if you're hyper responsible,
00:26:11.750 --> 00:26:13.952
That feels irresponsible, doesn't it?
00:26:13.952 --> 00:26:15.520
To let go. - yeah.
00:26:15.520 --> 00:26:16.821
- but you're not tossing it into the universe.
00:26:16.821 --> 00:26:18.323
You're handing it over to the lord.
00:26:18.323 --> 00:26:19.924
You sink down,
00:26:19.924 --> 00:26:21.292
Meaning you put your roots down into his love,
00:26:21.292 --> 00:26:22.894
You relax, which is an act of warfare, i think,
00:26:22.894 --> 00:26:25.697
When you really can learn to rest and relax in the lord.
00:26:25.697 --> 00:26:28.333
And if your own mouth is bearing witness
00:26:28.333 --> 00:26:30.535
Against the promises of god, then be quiet.
00:26:30.535 --> 00:26:32.303
Stop talking.
00:26:32.303 --> 00:26:33.571
So in that place where you wanna strive,
00:26:33.571 --> 00:26:35.006
If you let go, sink down, relax, be quiet-
00:26:35.006 --> 00:26:37.042
- that's beautiful. - and then encounter god
00:26:37.042 --> 00:26:38.109
In that place.
00:26:38.109 --> 00:26:39.644
And what a beautiful recipe for when you're under fire.
00:26:39.644 --> 00:26:43.281
Say, oh, this is an opportunity
00:26:43.281 --> 00:26:44.816
For me to cultivate intimacy with god.
00:26:44.816 --> 00:26:46.685
- right. - he'll deal with you.
00:26:46.685 --> 00:26:47.886
- yeah. yeah. - i'm humbling myself
00:26:47.886 --> 00:26:49.454
And, you know, it's a terrible thing
00:26:49.454 --> 00:26:51.289
To fall into the hands of the living god,
00:26:51.289 --> 00:26:52.857
So good luck with that.
00:26:52.857 --> 00:26:54.659
Anyway. (panelists laughing)
00:26:54.659 --> 00:26:56.194
- yeah, right.
00:26:56.194 --> 00:26:57.729
I do think that it is a matter of learning to surrender.
00:26:57.729 --> 00:27:01.066
- yeah.
00:27:01.066 --> 00:27:02.233
- i love this thought that we decide,
00:27:02.233 --> 00:27:03.768
We choose whether we carry the burden of the outcome,
00:27:03.768 --> 00:27:06.571
Like, i wanna see god defend me.
00:27:06.571 --> 00:27:08.106
I wanna see him take care of this battle.
00:27:08.106 --> 00:27:09.641
- right.
00:27:09.641 --> 00:27:10.909
- i'd like to see that person, you know,
00:27:10.909 --> 00:27:12.444
Sometimes david prayed, you know, do this to my enemies.
00:27:12.444 --> 00:27:14.212
Sometimes we'd like to pray that over them, you know?
00:27:14.212 --> 00:27:17.015
But if we can release the burden of the outcome to god
00:27:17.015 --> 00:27:20.452
And just carry the burden of obedience,
00:27:20.452 --> 00:27:22.487
And when i'm facing a battle-
00:27:22.487 --> 00:27:24.322
- or optics.
00:27:24.322 --> 00:27:25.623
- oh, optics, that's a- - what it looks like.
00:27:25.623 --> 00:27:26.891
- yes. right. - speak to it, laurie.
00:27:26.891 --> 00:27:28.593
Yep, that's right.
00:27:28.593 --> 00:27:29.828
- and i want the outcome to look like this.
00:27:29.828 --> 00:27:31.563
And it has to be in my timeline,
00:27:31.563 --> 00:27:33.331
'cause this really hurts right here.
00:27:33.331 --> 00:27:35.467
But the burden of the obedience is me learning to surrender,
00:27:35.467 --> 00:27:39.170
'cause i think that's a whole thing that you have to,
00:27:39.170 --> 00:27:41.573
Because if we're not careful,
00:27:41.573 --> 00:27:42.741
We can build a memorial to the pain
00:27:42.741 --> 00:27:45.110
Instead of an altar of surrender to what god's gonna do.
00:27:45.110 --> 00:27:48.780
- you know, i think surrender is such a beautiful word.
00:27:49.914 --> 00:27:51.883
It's letting go.
00:27:51.883 --> 00:27:54.052
It's i'm not gonna, i can't carry this anymore.
00:27:54.052 --> 00:27:56.755
God has not called you to carry anything.
00:27:56.755 --> 00:27:58.623
He said, "cast your cares on me."
00:27:58.623 --> 00:28:00.892
All those things that torment you,
00:28:00.892 --> 00:28:03.194
All those things that run around in your head,
00:28:03.194 --> 00:28:05.997
All that stuff that you cannot control,
00:28:05.997 --> 00:28:08.266
And you know it. (laughs)
00:28:08.266 --> 00:28:10.435
To cast all of that on christ, because he cares.
00:28:10.435 --> 00:28:13.905
He's the one who cares for you.
00:28:13.905 --> 00:28:16.074
And so that surrendering of control is a big deal
00:28:16.074 --> 00:28:20.612
Because we wanna make sure it happens
00:28:20.612 --> 00:28:23.214
And we don't have the ability.
00:28:23.214 --> 00:28:24.649
Only god has that capability, only he has the answer.
00:28:24.649 --> 00:28:28.920
He has.
00:28:28.920 --> 00:28:30.155
- he has everything that we need
00:28:30.789 --> 00:28:32.323
To take care of everything that we need (chuckles).
00:28:32.323 --> 00:28:35.560
And so surrendering our life,
00:28:35.560 --> 00:28:37.896
Surrendering our cares,
00:28:37.896 --> 00:28:39.631
Casting all those things
00:28:39.631 --> 00:28:41.499
That would bear down on me today in my mind and my heart,
00:28:41.499 --> 00:28:46.137
And try to steal the life that god has for me today
00:28:46.137 --> 00:28:49.607
To walk in freedom, to walk in rest,
00:28:49.607 --> 00:28:52.610
To walk in all the peace that god has for you.
00:28:52.610 --> 00:28:55.446
The kingdom of god is righteousness,
00:28:55.446 --> 00:28:56.948
Peace, and it's joy,
00:28:56.948 --> 00:28:58.750
And it's yours to live in.
00:28:58.750 --> 00:29:00.585
- i think oftentimes when i've walked through battles,
00:29:01.686 --> 00:29:03.955
I've seen, a, first seen god in a completely different way.
00:29:03.955 --> 00:29:08.026
So i didn't know god as my defender, fully,
00:29:08.026 --> 00:29:10.628
Till i walked through this thing.
00:29:10.628 --> 00:29:12.096
I've learned god in a whole new way
00:29:12.096 --> 00:29:13.898
Walking through this past year.
00:29:13.898 --> 00:29:15.600
And i've known him for over 40 years.
00:29:15.600 --> 00:29:17.502
So that means there's so many facets of god
00:29:17.502 --> 00:29:19.237
That we're still learning.
00:29:19.237 --> 00:29:20.271
- wow.
00:29:20.271 --> 00:29:21.706
- but the other thing i discovered was things about me.
00:29:21.706 --> 00:29:23.708
What is it that you're doing in me?
00:29:23.708 --> 00:29:25.076
So i think sometimes you walk through a battle
00:29:25.076 --> 00:29:26.845
'cause god's exposing something.
00:29:26.845 --> 00:29:28.546
Like you were talking about: people pleasing.
00:29:28.546 --> 00:29:30.548
And i'm a very mercy-driven person.
00:29:30.548 --> 00:29:33.084
So my mercy side would like to show mercy to the people
00:29:33.084 --> 00:29:36.654
That are making it difficult for my mom,
00:29:36.654 --> 00:29:39.023
Which that's not what was needed.
00:29:39.023 --> 00:29:40.692
It needed to be strength.
00:29:40.692 --> 00:29:42.227
It needed to be like, "we're drawing a line in the sand.
00:29:42.227 --> 00:29:43.928
"this is what we're gonna do, thus far and no farther."
00:29:43.928 --> 00:29:46.831
So god will work out of you whatever it is
00:29:46.831 --> 00:29:50.301
That's holding you back from...
00:29:50.301 --> 00:29:51.803
Whatever you said, that line about saul was fantastic.
00:29:51.803 --> 00:29:54.706
Do you remember what that was?
00:29:55.340 --> 00:29:56.608
- oh, it was a commentator had said that.
00:29:56.608 --> 00:29:58.176
Because saul never let god's love bring rest to his heart,
00:29:58.176 --> 00:30:01.246
He never fully became god's man.
00:30:01.246 --> 00:30:02.780
- so how powerful is that, though?
00:30:02.780 --> 00:30:04.349
Because then that rest to his heart is surrender.
00:30:04.349 --> 00:30:06.417
- yeah - yes.
00:30:06.417 --> 00:30:07.252
- like, at what point?
00:30:07.252 --> 00:30:08.519
When i feel the least like surrendering
00:30:08.519 --> 00:30:10.121
Is when i need to surrender the most.
00:30:10.121 --> 00:30:11.489
- that's right. - and i love
00:30:11.489 --> 00:30:13.324
How when jesus was speaking,
00:30:13.324 --> 00:30:15.159
It was at the last supper, he's speaking to peter.
00:30:15.159 --> 00:30:17.629
And he says to him:
00:30:17.629 --> 00:30:19.430
"satan has desire to sift you like wheat.
00:30:19.430 --> 00:30:22.767
But i have prayed that your faith fail not.
00:30:22.767 --> 00:30:25.737
And then go and strengthen your brothers."
00:30:25.737 --> 00:30:28.806
Okay, so right?
00:30:28.806 --> 00:30:30.074
So i would've been like irritated
00:30:30.074 --> 00:30:31.743
'cause he didn't pray the sifting would stop.
00:30:31.743 --> 00:30:34.078
- mm-hmm.
00:30:34.078 --> 00:30:35.013
- but the sifting was there
00:30:35.013 --> 00:30:36.247
Because peter was a people pleaser.
00:30:36.247 --> 00:30:39.017
And peter was gonna be leading the church.
00:30:39.017 --> 00:30:40.618
And peter had to know that there was that stuff in him-
00:30:40.618 --> 00:30:43.221
- that had to be sifted.
00:30:43.221 --> 00:30:44.656
- and the rest of his ministry, you see threads of it.
00:30:44.656 --> 00:30:47.759
And god didn't stop using him.
00:30:47.759 --> 00:30:49.627
But it was this beautiful picture
00:30:49.627 --> 00:30:51.029
Of i love you too much and i'm praying for you.
00:30:51.029 --> 00:30:54.432
So i think we lose sight,
00:30:54.432 --> 00:30:55.733
2/3 of the trinity is praying for us.
00:30:55.733 --> 00:30:58.403
- wow. - the holy spirit and jesus.
00:30:58.403 --> 00:31:00.538
Right now, whatever battle you are walking through,
00:31:00.538 --> 00:31:03.207
God is interceding for you that your faith fail not.
00:31:03.207 --> 00:31:05.743
- i gotta ask about your faith.
00:31:05.743 --> 00:31:07.145
Do you feel that if you're preempting an outcome
00:31:07.145 --> 00:31:09.547
Or controlling or even putting an expectation on god,
00:31:09.547 --> 00:31:12.116
It has to look like this.
00:31:12.116 --> 00:31:13.718
But you're standing in the way of god fighting your battles,
00:31:13.718 --> 00:31:15.486
At least from you being able to see-
00:31:15.486 --> 00:31:16.654
- absolutely.
00:31:16.654 --> 00:31:18.156
- it seems like you're throwing yourself in the way.
00:31:18.156 --> 00:31:19.424
And i think you miss what he's doing,
00:31:19.424 --> 00:31:21.092
Because he's already working; he never stops working.
00:31:21.092 --> 00:31:23.161
But i'm gonna miss what he's doing
00:31:23.161 --> 00:31:24.595
'cause i want it to look like this.
00:31:24.595 --> 00:31:26.064
- and, you know, going through stuff like that, though,
00:31:26.064 --> 00:31:27.699
It does, it changes your heart.
00:31:27.699 --> 00:31:29.701
We say stay on your knees so you're never driven, you know?
00:31:29.701 --> 00:31:32.837
And sometimes we're driven to our knees.
00:31:32.837 --> 00:31:35.440
God will allow something.
00:31:35.440 --> 00:31:36.975
And so this is happening over here.
00:31:36.975 --> 00:31:39.210
God, what am i missing?
00:31:39.210 --> 00:31:41.312
And so create in me a clean heart, oh god, in whatever.
00:31:41.312 --> 00:31:46.017
You know, i think just staying...
00:31:46.017 --> 00:31:48.586
And it humbles you,
00:31:48.586 --> 00:31:51.022
You know, in the most beautiful way.
00:31:51.789 --> 00:31:54.826
But it gives you such compassion and it humbles you.
00:31:54.826 --> 00:31:58.429
And god works through all of that.
00:31:58.429 --> 00:32:00.665
- yeah. - the trying of your faith.
00:32:00.665 --> 00:32:03.134
The tribulation that we go through,
00:32:03.134 --> 00:32:05.303
What we call tribulation in the trials,
00:32:05.303 --> 00:32:08.773
To count it all joy,
00:32:08.773 --> 00:32:10.441
Because it's working something on the inside
00:32:10.441 --> 00:32:12.543
Of transforming us.
00:32:12.543 --> 00:32:14.178
And it's giving us endurance and patience
00:32:14.178 --> 00:32:16.547
To where you're not lacking anything from god.
00:32:16.547 --> 00:32:18.683
- that's so good. - that's beautiful.
00:32:18.683 --> 00:32:19.951
- which can be accomplished no other way.
00:32:19.951 --> 00:32:21.486
- about anything that comes our way, any circumstance,
00:32:21.486 --> 00:32:25.656
Anything that allows us to get over ourselves.
00:32:25.656 --> 00:32:29.827
So god works it all for our good,
00:32:29.827 --> 00:32:31.896
And he's the one that's writing the final verdict.
00:32:31.896 --> 00:32:34.198
- that's good. - yeah, right. exactly.
00:32:34.198 --> 00:32:35.433
- and when we know that,
00:32:35.433 --> 00:32:37.168
We can get through things much better.
00:32:37.168 --> 00:32:38.903
But i think the humbling part in the self searching,
00:32:38.903 --> 00:32:43.808
Searching inside of me god.
00:32:43.808 --> 00:32:45.510
Whatever i'm supposed to be learning through this,
00:32:45.510 --> 00:32:48.212
Let me get every ounce of it,
00:32:48.212 --> 00:32:49.614
- yeah. - you know,
00:32:49.614 --> 00:32:51.115
And learn it so i don't have to go through this again.
00:32:51.115 --> 00:32:52.650
- amen. - and don't you think
00:32:52.650 --> 00:32:53.618
Like it's intimacy too with god?
00:32:53.618 --> 00:32:55.753
- oh yeah. - like at the end.
00:32:55.753 --> 00:32:56.587
Isn't that the gift?
00:32:56.587 --> 00:32:57.989
Like, after following jesus as long as i have been,
00:32:57.989 --> 00:33:00.825
To me, whether i saw the outcome i wanted or not,
00:33:00.825 --> 00:33:04.462
What i've gained in my intimacy
00:33:04.462 --> 00:33:07.031
And my relationship with jesus,
00:33:07.031 --> 00:33:08.666
And there's nothing better.
00:33:08.666 --> 00:33:11.335
Like, in the mornings when i'm talking to him,
00:33:11.335 --> 00:33:13.404
During the day,
00:33:13.404 --> 00:33:14.839
There's nothing better than having that assurance.
00:33:14.839 --> 00:33:17.175
- how can we continue to trust that god is our defender
00:33:18.242 --> 00:33:20.812
When everything else on the outside tells us otherwise?
00:33:20.812 --> 00:33:24.282
Well, i'd say start reading stories from scripture,
00:33:24.282 --> 00:33:26.651
Because you'll see it over and over again.
00:33:26.651 --> 00:33:28.619
You gotta think the long game. you gotta play the long game.
00:33:28.619 --> 00:33:31.522
Never make a permanent decision in a temporary trial.
00:33:31.522 --> 00:33:34.826
I would say step back and get to know the character of god.
00:33:34.826 --> 00:33:38.162
Ideally, you don't want to wait for the trial
00:33:38.162 --> 00:33:39.931
To get to know his character,
00:33:39.931 --> 00:33:41.466
But if you find yourself in a trial, now's a great time.
00:33:41.466 --> 00:33:43.701
Get in the word and see what god is like.
00:33:43.701 --> 00:33:46.104
He's a god of justice.
00:33:46.104 --> 00:33:47.505
He's a god of righteousness, and he's a god of mercy.
00:33:47.505 --> 00:33:50.074
When you get to know who he is, you can start to decide.
00:33:50.074 --> 00:33:53.611
I'm walking through this trial.
00:33:53.611 --> 00:33:55.313
Anyway the devil comes against me,
00:33:55.313 --> 00:33:57.148
God is going to bless me.
00:33:57.148 --> 00:33:58.749
Anything he allows, he redeems.
00:33:58.749 --> 00:34:01.018
And when i come through this,
00:34:01.018 --> 00:34:02.453
I will be richer, wiser, grounded in the things of god.
00:34:02.453 --> 00:34:05.723
When i say richer, i mean richer in the word of god,
00:34:05.723 --> 00:34:07.825
Richer in the things of god.
00:34:07.825 --> 00:34:09.360
And the devil will have less real estate in my life.
00:34:09.360 --> 00:34:11.996
You'll start to see a pattern in your life,
00:34:11.996 --> 00:34:13.965
A pattern of theft and a pattern of redemption.
00:34:13.965 --> 00:34:16.534
And the quicker you can trust god with your trials
00:34:16.534 --> 00:34:18.970
And trust the outcome to him,
00:34:18.970 --> 00:34:20.771
The quicker you'll get through the valley.
00:34:20.771 --> 00:34:23.574
(gentle music)
00:34:23.574 --> 00:34:28.346
- i think one of the things
00:34:28.946 --> 00:34:30.181
That every single one of us longs for
00:34:30.181 --> 00:34:32.183
Is to be fully known and fully loved.
00:34:32.183 --> 00:34:34.886
But so often we're so afraid that if we were fully known,
00:34:34.886 --> 00:34:37.288
We wouldn't be fully loved.
00:34:37.288 --> 00:34:38.556
Sometimes we back away from being known.
00:34:38.556 --> 00:34:42.460
And maybe you've been hurt by somebody in the past,
00:34:42.460 --> 00:34:44.729
Or maybe people have said things about you.
00:34:44.729 --> 00:34:46.597
I mean, how do you find a place of rest
00:34:46.597 --> 00:34:49.734
In knowing that other people
00:34:49.734 --> 00:34:51.636
Might not understand everything that's true?
00:34:51.636 --> 00:34:53.504
But god does.
00:34:53.504 --> 00:34:55.006
I think it comes, in my own life,
00:34:55.006 --> 00:34:56.941
It comes from developing a deeper
00:34:56.941 --> 00:34:58.676
And deeper and deeper relationship with jesus.
00:34:58.676 --> 00:35:01.379
Honestly, you will never ever search the world.
00:35:01.379 --> 00:35:05.416
You will never find anybody who loves you
00:35:05.416 --> 00:35:07.318
As much as the lord,
00:35:07.318 --> 00:35:08.719
Or who has a better plan for you or a better future.
00:35:08.719 --> 00:35:11.489
Trust god with the outcome.
00:35:11.489 --> 00:35:13.291
You know, god can sometimes do things
00:35:13.291 --> 00:35:14.926
That you just didn't see coming.
00:35:14.926 --> 00:35:16.427
When you try, determine not to defend yourself.
00:35:16.427 --> 00:35:18.930
You let the lord be your defender.
00:35:18.930 --> 00:35:20.565
It might be surprising what god will do.
00:35:20.565 --> 00:35:23.401
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(tranquil music)
00:35:32.376 --> 00:35:35.479
- there's also, i think, an element
00:35:35.479 --> 00:35:37.582
To really finding true rest.
00:35:37.582 --> 00:35:40.618
Like, i think when we are able to release it,
00:35:40.618 --> 00:35:42.553
For me, at least,
00:35:42.553 --> 00:35:43.955
As i've walked through these types of situations
00:35:43.955 --> 00:35:45.823
And seasons of my life,
00:35:45.823 --> 00:35:47.592
Stillness has been a lesson of surrender,
00:35:47.592 --> 00:35:50.728
Of consistently surrendering.
00:35:50.728 --> 00:35:52.363
The word that comes up for me is, i think,
00:35:52.363 --> 00:35:54.098
For a long time in my life,
00:35:54.098 --> 00:35:56.033
Because of the pain and offense i think i've held onto,
00:35:56.033 --> 00:35:58.302
And just things, i think i spent a lot of my time
00:35:58.302 --> 00:36:02.006
Trying to manipulate the outcomes of things.
00:36:02.006 --> 00:36:04.375
That's the word the lord gave me, at least.
00:36:04.375 --> 00:36:06.043
It wasn't control.
00:36:06.043 --> 00:36:07.278
It was manipulation of things and situations.
00:36:08.212 --> 00:36:10.915
And the words sound so yucky, but i think it's the truth.
00:36:10.915 --> 00:36:13.551
I think, for a lot of us,
00:36:13.551 --> 00:36:15.253
We do try to manipulate certain circumstances and things
00:36:15.253 --> 00:36:18.155
So that the outcome can be the most pleasing to us,
00:36:18.155 --> 00:36:20.825
Out of fear and out of pain.
00:36:20.825 --> 00:36:22.159
And so, i don't know,
00:36:22.159 --> 00:36:23.494
I think, as i think about jesus
00:36:23.494 --> 00:36:26.097
Standing before pontius pilate,
00:36:26.097 --> 00:36:27.465
I think there is such an act of rest,
00:36:27.465 --> 00:36:29.867
For him to know who his defender was.
00:36:29.867 --> 00:36:31.702
And such a versus,
00:36:31.702 --> 00:36:33.070
Thinking about the contrast of the israelites
00:36:33.070 --> 00:36:34.872
Who weren't able to enter into god's rest.
00:36:34.872 --> 00:36:37.708
They were, you know, the people of striving.
00:36:37.708 --> 00:36:40.378
They were the people of distrust.
00:36:40.378 --> 00:36:41.779
They were the people of legalism and what can i do?
00:36:41.779 --> 00:36:44.415
And god, where are you?
00:36:44.415 --> 00:36:45.883
And so, i think, for me, as i think about it,
00:36:45.883 --> 00:36:47.785
There's a lot to be said
00:36:47.785 --> 00:36:49.086
About the peace and the rest that happens
00:36:49.086 --> 00:36:51.222
When we're able to say, like, "oh.
00:36:51.222 --> 00:36:53.658
God loves me. god cares for me.
00:36:53.658 --> 00:36:55.293
God defends me."
00:36:55.293 --> 00:36:56.193
And there's this likeness
00:36:56.193 --> 00:36:59.130
That comes over us too,
00:36:59.130 --> 00:37:00.298
Of there's less anxiety and less worry
00:37:00.298 --> 00:37:02.533
Around what people are thinking or assuming.
00:37:02.533 --> 00:37:04.635
So i think there's a connection to it: rest.
00:37:04.635 --> 00:37:06.704
Rest comes when we are able to release.
00:37:06.704 --> 00:37:08.639
- that's right. - you know,
00:37:08.639 --> 00:37:09.907
My mentor said to me about 25 years ago,
00:37:09.907 --> 00:37:11.509
She said, "susie, you gotta discern the difference
00:37:11.509 --> 00:37:13.377
Between expectation and expectancy."
00:37:13.377 --> 00:37:15.713
She said, "expectation is premeditated disappointment
00:37:15.713 --> 00:37:18.749
Because you're creating a bullseye."
00:37:18.749 --> 00:37:20.151
And she said, "god is not bound by your dictate.
00:37:20.151 --> 00:37:22.219
So you're not gonna create a little hoop
00:37:22.219 --> 00:37:23.888
For him to jump through.
00:37:23.888 --> 00:37:25.256
And most people will approach prayer that way,
00:37:25.256 --> 00:37:27.024
Or even life that, their faith journey.
00:37:27.024 --> 00:37:29.160
I had this idea of what god should do.
00:37:29.160 --> 00:37:30.661
He didn't do it. and then i'm disappointed with god.
00:37:30.661 --> 00:37:33.531
And then they walk away,
00:37:33.531 --> 00:37:34.699
And it's the opposite of intimacy.
00:37:34.699 --> 00:37:36.233
But she said, "expectancy," she said,
00:37:36.233 --> 00:37:37.935
"is living with open-handed, wide-eyed wonder,
00:37:37.935 --> 00:37:40.204
Going, 'his ways are higher, his thoughts are deeper.
00:37:40.204 --> 00:37:43.307
There's a mystery to his ways.
00:37:43.307 --> 00:37:45.076
So i don't know how, i don't know when,
00:37:45.076 --> 00:37:47.278
But somehow, some way,
00:37:47.278 --> 00:37:48.579
Any day, i'm going to see him break through.'"
00:37:48.579 --> 00:37:51.615
- for a long time i thought that peace was just a feeling.
00:37:52.783 --> 00:37:56.854
And i would feel really upset with god, if i'm honest,
00:37:57.955 --> 00:38:02.927
And with god and with myself, with my circumstance,
00:38:03.994 --> 00:38:05.262
When, as a believer, you are promised peace.
00:38:05.262 --> 00:38:08.666
You are promised that you will experience
00:38:08.666 --> 00:38:10.968
The peace of christ, right?
00:38:10.968 --> 00:38:12.570
Have the mind of christ and the peace of christ,
00:38:12.570 --> 00:38:14.305
Because we have the spirit indwelling within us.
00:38:14.305 --> 00:38:16.807
And so when i would look at circumstances
00:38:16.807 --> 00:38:19.543
And experience restlessness and anxiety,
00:38:19.543 --> 00:38:22.680
I would look at god and say, "what's going on here?
00:38:22.680 --> 00:38:25.883
Help me make sense of it."
00:38:25.883 --> 00:38:28.018
Peace, shalom, when we read about it in scripture,
00:38:28.018 --> 00:38:31.122
Is a posture with jesus.
00:38:31.122 --> 00:38:33.491
It's not only receiving what god has given us as a gift,
00:38:33.491 --> 00:38:36.994
The faith that we have in him,
00:38:37.628 --> 00:38:38.996
But also it's a position that we get to live from.
00:38:38.996 --> 00:38:41.565
And that changed my life.
00:38:41.565 --> 00:38:42.867
I get to live from my identity in christ.
00:38:42.867 --> 00:38:46.704
I have shalom because i am found in christ.
00:38:46.704 --> 00:38:50.474
You might be saying to yourself:
00:38:50.474 --> 00:38:51.742
"what does identity have to do with peace?"
00:38:51.742 --> 00:38:52.977
Everything.
00:38:52.977 --> 00:38:54.145
Because if we know who we are,
00:38:54.145 --> 00:38:56.447
We are god's beloved,
00:38:56.447 --> 00:38:58.149
That we are taken care of,
00:38:58.149 --> 00:39:00.184
That god is fighting for us;
00:39:00.184 --> 00:39:01.886
If that is clear in our hearts and in our minds,
00:39:01.886 --> 00:39:05.055
Then peace, shalom, begins to be an expression,
00:39:05.055 --> 00:39:08.626
An overflow of how we're living.
00:39:08.626 --> 00:39:10.227
Because we trust that god is not only fighting our battles,
00:39:10.227 --> 00:39:13.998
But has already overcome, which is incredibly important.
00:39:13.998 --> 00:39:17.067
And so it's a change of your mindset.
00:39:17.067 --> 00:39:19.470
God has already overcome.
00:39:19.470 --> 00:39:21.205
And so i get to walk in the posture of peace.
00:39:21.205 --> 00:39:23.774
I get to walk in shalom, because he has already won,
00:39:23.774 --> 00:39:26.577
And he is good and will continue to be good, even.
00:39:26.577 --> 00:39:29.280
- when our circumstances don't say so.
00:39:29.280 --> 00:39:31.549
You know, and the bible also, proverbs warns us
00:39:32.483 --> 00:39:35.853
That when our words are many, that sin is close.
00:39:35.853 --> 00:39:39.790
You know, when we're ruminating over and over,
00:39:39.790 --> 00:39:43.127
And things to say back, you know.
00:39:43.127 --> 00:39:45.496
I mean, i do that.
00:39:45.496 --> 00:39:46.864
I have conversations that, like i said before,
00:39:46.864 --> 00:39:49.366
I'll never have.
00:39:49.366 --> 00:39:50.534
I'm thinking, "what what am i..."
00:39:50.534 --> 00:39:52.203
- arguing with the other person in your head.
00:39:52.203 --> 00:39:54.572
- right? - totally.
00:39:54.572 --> 00:39:55.840
When it comes to letting god fight your battles,
00:39:55.840 --> 00:39:57.041
I think it doesn't always have to be
00:39:57.041 --> 00:39:59.210
What somebody else is doing.
00:39:59.210 --> 00:40:00.711
It can be something you're walking through yourself inside.
00:40:00.711 --> 00:40:03.848
Yeah, i remember i was filming a bible study
00:40:03.848 --> 00:40:06.450
And i was in this little ranch
00:40:06.450 --> 00:40:08.452
And i'd gone for my physical checkup
00:40:08.452 --> 00:40:11.455
And my doctor had run some extra tests.
00:40:11.455 --> 00:40:14.124
It's maybe, i guess, i've got one more day of filming,
00:40:14.124 --> 00:40:16.927
Friday.
00:40:16.927 --> 00:40:18.496
It's thursday night and my doctor calls me and she said,
00:40:18.496 --> 00:40:20.064
"we're going to need you in surgery on monday morning."
00:40:20.064 --> 00:40:22.466
They'd found a tumor and she was pretty sure it was cancer.
00:40:22.466 --> 00:40:25.402
So i was like, "okay."
00:40:25.402 --> 00:40:26.604
And so that next morning,
00:40:26.604 --> 00:40:28.639
I got up really early, before the sun rose,
00:40:28.639 --> 00:40:30.541
'cause i was staying in this really nice little ranchy place
00:40:30.541 --> 00:40:33.777
Where i could watch the sunrise over the water.
00:40:33.777 --> 00:40:35.880
And it became one of those...
00:40:35.880 --> 00:40:37.414
You know one of those moments
00:40:37.414 --> 00:40:38.649
Where you just have the most personal,
00:40:38.649 --> 00:40:41.051
Intimate conversation with the lord.
00:40:41.051 --> 00:40:43.888
'cause i was like, "well, lord, i did not see this coming."
00:40:43.888 --> 00:40:46.557
But just the sense of...
00:40:46.557 --> 00:40:48.325
That's why i love the way david says,
00:40:48.325 --> 00:40:50.728
"the lord is my shepherd."
00:40:50.728 --> 00:40:52.196
He's not just a shepherd. "the lord is my shepherd."
00:40:52.196 --> 00:40:55.866
And it just became this whole thing of,
00:40:55.866 --> 00:40:57.868
"sheila, do you trust me?"
00:40:57.868 --> 00:40:59.637
You know, "you don't know what the outcome's going to be,
00:40:59.637 --> 00:41:01.939
But do you trust me?"
00:41:01.939 --> 00:41:04.375
And there's something about being quiet in god's presence.
00:41:04.375 --> 00:41:08.312
- yeah. - of just sitting there.
00:41:08.312 --> 00:41:09.914
And rather than having my list of things, of just being...
00:41:09.914 --> 00:41:14.285
Like, when i think i want an answer,
00:41:14.285 --> 00:41:16.253
What i actually want is his presence.
00:41:16.253 --> 00:41:17.888
Because this presence changes everything.
00:41:17.888 --> 00:41:20.691
- yeah. - and i went ahead
00:41:20.691 --> 00:41:22.426
And had the surgery
00:41:22.426 --> 00:41:23.861
And it was a tumor the size of a grapefruit,
00:41:23.861 --> 00:41:25.162
But it wasn't cancerous.
00:41:25.162 --> 00:41:26.463
I mean, i'm thinking of people right now
00:41:26.463 --> 00:41:28.165
Who are in the middle of something
00:41:28.165 --> 00:41:29.700
And it's like they don't know the outcome.
00:41:29.700 --> 00:41:32.436
- yeah.
00:41:32.436 --> 00:41:33.404
- but so what can you rest in
00:41:33.404 --> 00:41:34.338
When you don't know the outcome?
00:41:34.338 --> 00:41:36.006
You can rest in the presence.
00:41:36.006 --> 00:41:37.474
- yeah. - the presence of god
00:41:37.474 --> 00:41:38.375
Changes everything for me.
00:41:38.375 --> 00:41:39.743
- yeah.
00:41:39.743 --> 00:41:40.911
- because he's already in our future...
00:41:40.911 --> 00:41:42.846
- [sheila] yes. - and his future is good
00:41:42.846 --> 00:41:44.715
- and he's good.
00:41:44.715 --> 00:41:45.783
- yes. - yeah.
00:41:45.783 --> 00:41:47.184
- i think so often we have learned as a culture,
00:41:47.184 --> 00:41:49.653
Maybe every culture knew that, self-reliance.
00:41:49.653 --> 00:41:52.623
But i know right now... - oh, yeah.
00:41:52.623 --> 00:41:54.391
- self-reliance is a...
00:41:54.391 --> 00:41:55.693
Independence is a huge part of who we are.
00:41:55.693 --> 00:41:57.795
And you're applauded and celebrated
00:41:57.795 --> 00:41:59.830
When you come to self-reliance.
00:41:59.830 --> 00:42:01.632
And i'm not talking about, like, not doing things
00:42:01.632 --> 00:42:03.934
For yourself in life,
00:42:03.934 --> 00:42:05.636
But it is also that wrestle of learning how to rely on god.
00:42:05.636 --> 00:42:10.574
Whether it's fighting your battles, whether it's provision,
00:42:10.574 --> 00:42:13.410
Whether it's healing,
00:42:13.410 --> 00:42:14.979
Whether it's, you know, for a husband you're waiting for,
00:42:14.979 --> 00:42:17.181
Or for a husband you already have.
00:42:17.181 --> 00:42:18.649
You know, whatever that looks like,
00:42:18.649 --> 00:42:20.250
What is the one thing that you lean on when it comes to...
00:42:20.250 --> 00:42:23.954
You're trying to rely on yourself for the answer,
00:42:23.954 --> 00:42:27.358
That shifts you to leaning on god.
00:42:27.358 --> 00:42:28.859
'cause one of the things i love, the best descriptor
00:42:28.859 --> 00:42:30.194
That john, the apostle john, did of himself
00:42:30.194 --> 00:42:32.796
Was at the end of his book.
00:42:32.796 --> 00:42:34.865
He could be known for anything.
00:42:34.865 --> 00:42:36.433
He could be known for every miracle, could be known for...
00:42:36.433 --> 00:42:38.936
He was a fisherman, he was a leader in the church.
00:42:38.936 --> 00:42:41.205
But what he said was,
00:42:41.205 --> 00:42:42.573
"i'm the one who was leaning on jesus' breast."
00:42:42.573 --> 00:42:45.843
- yeah.
00:42:45.843 --> 00:42:47.311
- [speaker] so he was like a self-proclaimed leaner.
00:42:47.311 --> 00:42:48.746
- [sheila] yeah. - so, for me,
00:42:48.746 --> 00:42:50.848
To go from self-reliance to leaning,
00:42:50.848 --> 00:42:53.350
I constantly am checking what i feel in my spirit.
00:42:53.350 --> 00:42:57.187
So if i feel this tension,
00:42:57.187 --> 00:43:00.024
Sometimes there's a tension to rely on him.
00:43:00.024 --> 00:43:02.459
But eventually there's peace.
00:43:02.459 --> 00:43:04.094
So if i'm working it manipulating...
00:43:04.094 --> 00:43:05.896
I'm also like a grand manipulator when it comes to,
00:43:05.896 --> 00:43:09.199
"let me figure out every possible scenario,
00:43:09.199 --> 00:43:10.734
Every single outcome..."
00:43:10.734 --> 00:43:12.002
You know, just in case. just in case, right?
00:43:12.002 --> 00:43:14.204
- i think if you have... - [speaker] yes.
00:43:14.204 --> 00:43:15.639
- i mean, i love when paul says in ephesians
00:43:15.639 --> 00:43:18.142
About the sword of the spirit, which is the word of god.
00:43:18.142 --> 00:43:21.078
I love that when he talks about the word of god,
00:43:21.078 --> 00:43:22.646
It's that small w.
00:43:22.646 --> 00:43:24.515
It's not logos, it's not the whole of scripture.
00:43:24.515 --> 00:43:27.384
It's like rhema.
00:43:27.384 --> 00:43:28.719
It's like what work from god do you hold onto?
00:43:28.719 --> 00:43:30.554
- that's really good.
00:43:30.554 --> 00:43:31.855
- and so, for me, one of my favorite texts
00:43:31.855 --> 00:43:33.757
That i meditate on and ruminate on is psalm 27.
00:43:33.757 --> 00:43:38.228
"i believe i will live to see the goodness of the lord..."
00:43:38.228 --> 00:43:42.399
- [speaker] yeah. - "in the land of the living."
00:43:42.399 --> 00:43:44.034
- [speaker] yeah. - i mean, i prayed that
00:43:44.034 --> 00:43:45.302
Over myself when i was in a place
00:43:45.302 --> 00:43:47.137
Where i thought i would not continue to live.
00:43:47.137 --> 00:43:49.139
I wasn't sure i could...
00:43:49.139 --> 00:43:50.574
Somebody asked me the other day
00:43:50.574 --> 00:43:51.675
Why i had tattoos on my wrist,
00:43:51.675 --> 00:43:53.877
'cause i've got one that says "the cross equals love"
00:43:53.877 --> 00:43:55.779
And i've got one that says, "yes, lord."
00:43:55.779 --> 00:43:58.082
And it was like, because if you've come through a dark place
00:43:58.082 --> 00:44:02.186
Where life was challenging...
00:44:02.186 --> 00:44:04.088
- yeah.
00:44:04.088 --> 00:44:05.189
- i now i offer my arms in worship
00:44:05.189 --> 00:44:08.625
Because i believe i will live to see
00:44:08.625 --> 00:44:11.195
The goodness of the lord in the land of the living.
00:44:11.195 --> 00:44:13.864
- i love that you lean on that. that's your go-to.
00:44:13.864 --> 00:44:16.734
Mine is "for with god, nothing is impossible."
00:44:16.734 --> 00:44:19.503
It's my life...
00:44:19.503 --> 00:44:21.238
Actually, i think a life scripture often is what we lean on,
00:44:21.238 --> 00:44:23.674
Is what god spoke over me.
00:44:23.674 --> 00:44:25.109
- [speaker] yeah. - yeah.
00:44:25.109 --> 00:44:26.610
I don't think it's a verse for me.
00:44:26.610 --> 00:44:27.811
I think it's when the lord taught me
00:44:27.811 --> 00:44:29.346
The theology of remembrance.
00:44:29.346 --> 00:44:30.681
I think whenever i get to the end of myself,
00:44:30.681 --> 00:44:32.282
I think about the moment where he was able
00:44:32.282 --> 00:44:34.251
To show me the moments in my life where he's been for me.
00:44:34.251 --> 00:44:37.287
So his faithfulness, his constant faithfulness,
00:44:37.287 --> 00:44:39.022
Where he said to me, "i've never left you.
00:44:39.022 --> 00:44:40.891
I've never forsaken you, alex."
00:44:40.891 --> 00:44:42.092
And the spirit brings that up
00:44:42.092 --> 00:44:45.329
Whenever i'm starting to strive.
00:44:45.329 --> 00:44:47.231
- [sheila] yeah. - i love that.
00:44:47.231 --> 00:44:48.499
- he's like, "hey, these memorial stones," right?
00:44:48.499 --> 00:44:50.300
"don't forget what i have done. don't forget..."
00:44:50.300 --> 00:44:53.070
You know, just like israelites
00:44:53.070 --> 00:44:54.171
Were really great at forgetting,
00:44:54.171 --> 00:44:55.639
And the lord just whispers it to me,
00:44:55.639 --> 00:44:57.241
"don't forget. don't forget what i've done for you."
00:44:57.241 --> 00:44:59.543
- [speaker] good. - [speaker] yeah. i love that.
00:44:59.543 --> 00:45:00.511
- living stones, you know?
00:45:00.511 --> 00:45:01.779
A ton of living stones all over my life
00:45:01.779 --> 00:45:03.347
And i can sense it when it comes up for me.
00:45:03.347 --> 00:45:05.315
- yeah. - my life verses psalm 16:9.
00:45:05.315 --> 00:45:07.317
"and so i walk in the lord's presence
00:45:07.317 --> 00:45:08.819
As i live here on earth."
00:45:08.819 --> 00:45:10.420
But i would say my go-to is all of psalm 18.
00:45:10.420 --> 00:45:13.524
- yeah. - because you go
00:45:13.524 --> 00:45:14.424
From victim to victor.
00:45:14.424 --> 00:45:15.559
If you see the arc of that story,
00:45:15.559 --> 00:45:17.394
You know, "i cried out,
00:45:17.394 --> 00:45:18.662
The enemy attacked me at a moment i was weakest."
00:45:18.662 --> 00:45:19.897
You know, "the cords wrapped around me.
00:45:19.897 --> 00:45:21.565
I thought i was going down.
00:45:21.565 --> 00:45:23.367
In my distress, i called to the lord,
00:45:23.367 --> 00:45:25.235
My cry reached ears,
00:45:25.235 --> 00:45:26.937
He reached down and grabbed hold of me."
00:45:26.937 --> 00:45:29.640
And it even showed his anger.
00:45:29.640 --> 00:45:31.175
And when i was young in the faith,
00:45:31.175 --> 00:45:32.576
I thought, "he's mad 'cause i'm calling on him."
00:45:32.576 --> 00:45:34.111
But it's true that he's mad at my enemy.
00:45:34.111 --> 00:45:37.080
He's like, "you've done this to my child again?
00:45:37.080 --> 00:45:39.483
You're not doing it again,"
00:45:39.483 --> 00:45:40.851
And to reach down from on high to grab hold of me
00:45:40.851 --> 00:45:42.486
Because he delights me.
00:45:42.486 --> 00:45:44.021
And it says that, like, "he put me in a spacious place"
00:45:44.021 --> 00:45:46.323
And you kind of get a sense there's a pause.
00:45:46.323 --> 00:45:48.325
But then he trains your hands for battle.
00:45:48.325 --> 00:45:50.127
He strengthens your arms to bend a bow of bronze.
00:45:50.127 --> 00:45:52.529
He lets you walk on high places.
00:45:52.529 --> 00:45:54.164
So there's this whole progression from
00:45:54.164 --> 00:45:55.866
Victim to victor.
00:45:55.866 --> 00:45:57.267
And i go to it all the time, because i want to remember
00:45:57.267 --> 00:45:59.870
Who i was and who he's making me to be.
00:45:59.870 --> 00:46:02.372
So, that's been very helpful.
00:46:02.372 --> 00:46:04.541
- i think that when we are walking in the midst of betrayal
00:46:04.541 --> 00:46:08.979
Or disappointment and delayed prayers,
00:46:08.979 --> 00:46:12.149
It can be easy to become a victim because of our pain.
00:46:12.149 --> 00:46:15.919
And so i want to encourage us to audit
00:46:15.919 --> 00:46:18.388
What we are believing.
00:46:18.388 --> 00:46:19.823
Because what we believe becomes how we live our lives.
00:46:19.823 --> 00:46:23.560
What we think, what we believe becomes how we live.
00:46:23.560 --> 00:46:26.897
And for many of us, being a victim has felt comfortable.
00:46:26.897 --> 00:46:30.734
Being a victim has felt like the way that we only know.
00:46:30.734 --> 00:46:33.770
But god's inviting us into a new way,
00:46:33.770 --> 00:46:36.373
Which is a way of victory,
00:46:36.373 --> 00:46:38.308
A way of walking with our overcomer,
00:46:38.308 --> 00:46:41.011
Even in the midst of things that feel impossible.
00:46:41.011 --> 00:46:44.081
We are not victims because of our past friends.
00:46:44.081 --> 00:46:46.717
We are victors because of him.
00:46:46.717 --> 00:46:48.952
- so i love that
00:46:49.319 --> 00:46:50.854
Because what the lord spoke to me when i was coming out
00:46:50.854 --> 00:46:52.589
Of sexual abuse was that i'm no longer a victim
00:46:52.589 --> 00:46:55.525
Of my circumstances but i am a leader of change.
00:46:55.525 --> 00:46:58.595
And that leader of change is only when i surrender...
00:46:58.595 --> 00:47:00.697
- [speaker] yeah. - to god
00:47:00.697 --> 00:47:01.765
And realize he is my defender.
00:47:01.765 --> 00:47:04.334
And here i am, 40-plus years in,
00:47:04.334 --> 00:47:06.403
Still needing to be reminded that he is my defender.
00:47:06.403 --> 00:47:08.872
- yeah. - [speaker] so good.
00:47:08.872 --> 00:47:10.340
- and so i'm sure there's people watching right now
00:47:10.340 --> 00:47:12.943
That you are going through the battle of your life.
00:47:12.943 --> 00:47:15.145
And you're wondering, "where is god?"
00:47:15.145 --> 00:47:17.347
And we just want to remind you through our stories.
00:47:17.347 --> 00:47:20.284
He has never left you.
00:47:20.284 --> 00:47:21.685
And even if it doesn't feel like he's defending you,
00:47:21.685 --> 00:47:24.087
He is defending you. - absolutely.
00:47:24.087 --> 00:47:25.322
- he is with you. he has never stopped.
00:47:25.322 --> 00:47:27.424
Whether you feel his presence or not,
00:47:27.424 --> 00:47:29.259
He's with you wherever you are right now.
00:47:29.259 --> 00:47:30.460
- come on.
00:47:30.460 --> 00:47:31.662
- and so i want to pray for you today
00:47:31.662 --> 00:47:33.330
Because i think you need to know the reality of where he is.
00:47:33.330 --> 00:47:38.669
And we can't wait to hear the miracles of what god does...
00:47:39.836 --> 00:47:40.837
- amen. - [speaker] after today.
00:47:40.837 --> 00:47:42.072
- amen. - beautiful.
00:47:42.072 --> 00:47:43.440
- so god, in the name of jesus, we are so grateful,
00:47:43.440 --> 00:47:46.810
So grateful that you've never left us,
00:47:46.810 --> 00:47:49.179
That you hear us, that you are consistently,
00:47:49.179 --> 00:47:52.282
We are on your mind.
00:47:52.282 --> 00:47:54.051
Lord, that your thoughts about us
00:47:54.051 --> 00:47:55.319
Are more than the grains of sand in the sea.
00:47:55.319 --> 00:47:58.055
Lord, we thank you that your love for us never stops,
00:47:58.055 --> 00:48:00.590
That today it's like an invitation from you
00:48:00.590 --> 00:48:03.360
That you're saying, "come home,"
00:48:03.360 --> 00:48:05.562
That you're saying, "come to me."
00:48:05.562 --> 00:48:06.930
And that you're saying, "let me handle the battle
00:48:06.930 --> 00:48:09.333
That you're walking through,"
00:48:09.333 --> 00:48:10.934
Because you're already working in places that we cannot see.
00:48:10.934 --> 00:48:13.370
So, right now, in the name of jesus,
00:48:13.370 --> 00:48:15.038
We silence every lie that has been spoken,
00:48:15.038 --> 00:48:17.641
That doesn't line up with what god's truth is.
00:48:17.641 --> 00:48:20.310
And we declare the truth of god over you.
00:48:20.310 --> 00:48:22.779
That nothing is impossible with god.
00:48:22.779 --> 00:48:24.915
That god is working things out
00:48:24.915 --> 00:48:26.850
Beyond what you could ever imagine.
00:48:26.850 --> 00:48:28.385
He's breaking strongholds, he's releasing miracles,
00:48:28.385 --> 00:48:31.488
He's healing bodies, he's fixing marriages.
00:48:31.488 --> 00:48:34.591
That he's...
00:48:34.591 --> 00:48:36.193
All of those things that feel overwhelming to you right now,
00:48:36.193 --> 00:48:38.328
We release to you the burden of the outcome.
00:48:38.328 --> 00:48:41.832
And we say, "lord, we surrender to you."
00:48:41.832 --> 00:48:44.801
So let blessing, blessing, blessing flow to your people.
00:48:44.801 --> 00:48:49.706
Kiss them with your grace. in jesus' name, amen.
00:48:49.706 --> 00:48:53.343
- [speakers] amen.
00:48:53.343 --> 00:48:54.611
- [announcer] connect with us on social media
00:48:55.545 --> 00:48:57.014
And let us know how our team can pray for you.
00:48:57.014 --> 00:48:59.583
(uplifting music)
00:48:59.583 --> 00:49:04.988
- hi, everyone. i'm sheila and here with alexandra.
00:49:06.023 --> 00:49:08.358
And we're behind the scenes of "better together"
00:49:08.358 --> 00:49:10.627
Answering some of our viewer questions.
00:49:10.627 --> 00:49:12.029
So, let start with this one. this is from peggy.
00:49:12.029 --> 00:49:15.332
- hi, peggy. - hello, peggy.
00:49:15.332 --> 00:49:17.567
She says, "how do you handle getting angry
00:49:17.567 --> 00:49:20.037
And speaking your mind when you're accused of something
00:49:20.037 --> 00:49:22.072
You know you didn't do,
00:49:22.072 --> 00:49:23.573
But you're not believed so you react,
00:49:23.573 --> 00:49:25.575
Then you're hurt and ashamed of how you reacted?
00:49:25.575 --> 00:49:28.311
It weighs on me for days. what is god trying to tell me?"
00:49:28.311 --> 00:49:31.748
- oh, man. i'd love to take a stab at answering that.
00:49:31.748 --> 00:49:35.052
I think first give yourself so much grace
00:49:35.052 --> 00:49:37.320
In the midst of you learning how to deal
00:49:37.320 --> 00:49:39.389
With accusations that they doesn't feel good,
00:49:39.389 --> 00:49:42.392
It's not fair, but know that in the midst of your anger,
00:49:42.392 --> 00:49:44.594
The bible tells us to sin not, right?
00:49:44.594 --> 00:49:46.329
And so when that does happen, we can take it to god
00:49:46.329 --> 00:49:49.766
And say, "lord, help me to not only deal with the anger,
00:49:49.766 --> 00:49:52.169
Which is so justified
00:49:52.169 --> 00:49:53.470
When you're betrayed and accused of something.
00:49:53.470 --> 00:49:54.905
- [sheila] yeah.
00:49:54.905 --> 00:49:56.506
- and ask him to exchange the anger with peace, with shalom,
00:49:56.506 --> 00:49:58.108
To remind you who you are.
00:49:58.108 --> 00:49:59.943
And know that the lord will handle
00:49:59.943 --> 00:50:02.712
The situation in his time.
00:50:02.712 --> 00:50:04.114
And it may not be the way that you want it, peggy,
00:50:04.114 --> 00:50:05.582
But the lord will redeem it and restore you
00:50:05.582 --> 00:50:07.617
In the midst of how you learn to know
00:50:07.617 --> 00:50:10.087
Who you are in him outside of what people say.
00:50:10.087 --> 00:50:12.389
- and if i could just add to that,
00:50:12.389 --> 00:50:13.690
One of the lessons i've learned in my own life,
00:50:13.690 --> 00:50:14.958
Peggy, is there's a difference between
00:50:14.958 --> 00:50:16.460
When i react and when i respond.
00:50:16.460 --> 00:50:19.329
- that's right. - when i react,
00:50:19.329 --> 00:50:20.964
It's a fast thing.
00:50:20.964 --> 00:50:21.898
It's like if something...
00:50:21.898 --> 00:50:23.600
It's usually triggering something,
00:50:23.600 --> 00:50:24.868
And i just want to react straight away.
00:50:24.868 --> 00:50:26.303
I've done that with my husband through the years.
00:50:26.303 --> 00:50:28.004
- [alexandra] yeah. - and it's not good.
00:50:28.004 --> 00:50:29.840
So i found when i've find myself in that place
00:50:29.840 --> 00:50:32.109
Where i feel like i want to react, i just...
00:50:32.109 --> 00:50:34.845
I give myself a little time out.
00:50:34.845 --> 00:50:36.046
- that's right. yes.
00:50:36.046 --> 00:50:37.347
- even if i go lock myself in the bathroom
00:50:37.347 --> 00:50:38.348
Just for a couple of minutes...
00:50:38.348 --> 00:50:39.516
- take a beat. - yeah, just take a beat
00:50:39.516 --> 00:50:40.884
And take it to the lord, and then you can respond.
00:50:40.884 --> 00:50:43.787
And sometimes when we respond,
00:50:43.787 --> 00:50:45.088
It's not out of anger the way reacting is.
00:50:45.088 --> 00:50:48.358
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Let God Fight Your Battles | Better Together Episode 1159

April 23, 2026 | S8 E1159 | 50:59

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