Better Together

Let God Redeem Your Past | Better Together Episode 1156

April 20, 2026 | S8 E1156 | 50:59

Nothing is beyond God’s redemption! He transforms pain into purpose and restores what was lost. Freedom comes when old thoughts and feelings no longer hold you back. Allowing God to redeem your past moves you forward! | TBN Prayer Line: 714-731-1000

#Freedom #Redemption #Healing #Restoration #Surrender #RenewingtheMind #Transformation #Forgiveness #Breakthrough #Purpose #Hope #Faithfulness #IdentityinChrist #SpiritualGrowth #TrustGod #Victory #Shame #Abuse #SexualAbuse #Past #Thoughts-Negative #Lies #LoveofGod #PersonalStory #Pornography #VoiceofGod #Trauma #Discipline #Pain #Reconciliation #LaurieCrouch #SheilaWalsh #DonnaPisani #AlexandraHoover #SusieLarson

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Better Together | Let God Redeem Your Past | Better Together Episode 1156 | April 20, 2026

When shame or guilt try to hold you back, remember that god's
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Forgiveness and his grace sets you free.
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Today, we're learning how to let go of the past and move
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Forward into all that god has for us.
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Come on, let's talk about it.
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♪♪
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I don't know if you ever feel you've gone through a season
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Where you feel stuck.
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2025 was like that for me. for a lot,
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I just felt stuck.
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Like i didn't know how to move forward. today,
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One of the things i want us to unpack is letting god
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Redeem your past.
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You might not know this about
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Me, but i am terrible at sports.
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I can't do anything. even like, even in school races in high
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School, i would never be--
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I wouldn't even be second last.
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I would be significantly last.
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I just, yeah. in fact, i remember a weekend i was
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Staying with bill and gloria gaither when their kids were
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Still all at home and we were
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Playing softball out in the yard.
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And i-- bill told me i swung at it and i really thought i
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Almost got it because i remember turning to him
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And saying, so close.
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And the only reason i remember that because every time i have
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Seen bill gaither since, he reminds me of this.
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And it's so close,
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You weren't even in the same zip code.
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Oh my gosh.
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But it brought me to one of my favorite verses.
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I love the book of philippians.
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I just love this.
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It's just like dripping with joy.
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I mean, he's in a terrible
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Place and it's dripping with joy.
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But then, you know, he's talked about all the things that to
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The people listening would seem to make him, you know, you've
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Got all the right credentials.
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You know, you've come from the best of the best.
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You've studied with the best of the best.
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But then he says in philippians three, know, dear brothers and
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Sisters, i've not achieved it, but i focus on this one thing
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Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.
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I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the
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Heavenly prize for which god, through christ jesus,
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Is calling us.
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There's something about just that phrase,
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I focus on this one thing that
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Has really helped me in my life.
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Even david, if you think you know psalm 119, one thing have
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I desired of the lord.
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And so when it comes to
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Redeeming your past, i was watching--
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I think it was in 19--
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I wasn't watching it in 1954.
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I wasn't born in 1954 because, you know, with the olympics,
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They're always coming up with new world records and new
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Olympic records.
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Well, back then it was nobody was able to run a mile in
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Under four minutes.
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You know, they would do like 4:02, 4:03.
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But then this british guy, roger bannister, he was the
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First one to break.
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He got to like 3:58, and he held the record for six weeks until
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This australian john landry did it in 3:57.
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Wow. so what they decided to do was to have both guys
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In the same race.
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You can watch it online.
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All the press from all the world were there because
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This was a huge deal.
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And i've watched the race.
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It's kind of black and white footage.
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And for most of the race, almost all the race
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John landry's in front.
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But when they get close to the finish in a moment, he turns
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And he looks over his shoulder
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To see where roger bannister was.
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And in that moment roger overtook him, and he won.
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And in--
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I think it's in vancouver there's a bronze statue of john
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Landry, and he said lot's wife
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Was turned into a pillar of salt.
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I must be the only one who was
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Turned into bronze for looking backwards.
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Wow, i love it.
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But i thought there's something about that, of not
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Looking back, forgetting.
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Because when you think,
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Well, paul, what are you forgetting?
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Well, he held the coats
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When people stoned stephen to death.
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I mean, there was so much.
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But his whole thing is you forget the places where you've
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Messed up, but you also forget the places where you think,
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Well, i really showed up there.
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But you have this one thing.
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I have this new little necklace that i wear, and it's the
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Hebrew word [hebrew]
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And it's that outrageous faithfulness, steadfast love
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Of the lord.
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And i think what keeps me focused is this one thing, on my
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Best days and my worst days,
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I am i'm outrageously loved by god.
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I think so many of us get stuck in a time where we get stuck in
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Our past on something that is just a repeat on in our brain,
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And you so wish you could delete it.
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Well, i have it.
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I have something. the bible says to renew your mind.
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Renew new your mind.
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That means change the way you're thinking about it.
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Change the way,
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Change your thoughts.
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You're the only person who gets to decide what you think about.
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And so when i go to the word of god, i can take those, those
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Regrets and that shame and all that, and i can just surrender
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It to the lord and just go, you
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Know what? i am called and i am chosen.
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Your grace is sufficient for me.
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I can do all seasons through christ
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That gives me strength.
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God is the author and the finisher of my faith.
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What you have started,
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You are going to complete in my
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Life, and focus your eyes on jesus.
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Fix your eyes on him, that he's paid it all.
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He's given to me life abundantly.
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I get to enjoy that today.
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Everlasting life.
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If you've received christ as your savior, you have
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Everlasting life and you have it right now.
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We can live in that everlasting, beautiful life
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Right now.
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And that is just fixing your eyes on the cross of christ and
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What he's done for you, what he
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Paid for, and then we can be free.
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And that's amazing news.
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So i just wanted to throw it open to all of you with
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Anything where redeeming your past has become really
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Significant for you.
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I love what god does.
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He says to remember what i have done.
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That's right, that's right.
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So we are to remember, but it's always remember what i've done,
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What i've-- the goodness and leading you out and what i did
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To get you here, the miracles of god.
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I found that the chains that we have aren't necessarily chains
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Around our wrist.
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They're in our brain, they're in our mind.
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And god is always calling us forward, always saying, come,
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Come this direction, come.
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And we have a tendency to get stuck in, in memories and
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Things that want to hold us captive, but we're told to
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Cast down those imaginations and all those thoughts that
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That are not of god, that does not say what god says we are or
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Who we are, and to always go forward.
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Beautiful. love that.
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Beautiful. i love what you said because over and over again
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Scripture talks about remember what god has done.
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Remember your history so you know that you have a future.
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That's right.
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But we don't default to that place.
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We default to remembering the ways we've messed up.
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We default to the trauma we've endured.
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That's right.
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So i remember one day just going, how do i, how do i not
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Keep going there?
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I mean, the weight of it is so significant.
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And the lord thundered in my heart, and he said, whenever
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I'm about to do a new thing, the devil will bring up an old
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Thing because he wants you looking back when you need
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To be looking up.
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And it got to the point where i'd start to notice a pattern
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When the old harassment and the old accusation would come and
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The old labels, then i would think, okay, god, you're
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Up to something new.
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And then i created, i cultivated an expectancy where before i
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Would come right under condemnation.
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Yes. and it's this,
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The lord wants us free so, so much.
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And i think if we can flip the script and get wise to the
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Enemy's schemes, we can shut them down a lot quicker.
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And one last thing i'd say about that is if it keeps
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Coming up, sometimes i think it means we need healing.
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You know, there might be some unresolved hurt in the middle
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Of the mess that the lord may--
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Don't you feel like--
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I feel like it's like a bow and arrow.
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He propels.
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He brings you back to propel you forward.
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And one of the ways, you know, is it's an invitation to
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Heal versus a condemnation to stay stuck.
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To me, that's-- those are such different things.
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That reminds me of second corinthians 5:17 where paul
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Talks about being made new. yes.
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I think that there is such an
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Invitation and it's like necessary.
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I don't think that we can walk forward in that newness if
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We're not walking in our identity in christ and a new
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Identity in christ, and an awareness of who we are in him.
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I mean, i in my own life, i think i spent years trying to
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Move forward with an old identity.
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Yeah. and it's so hard.
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Absolutely. right.
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So moving forward, not knowing who i am or really what
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God says about me has kept me stuck for years
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Walking forward in the old lives and the old patterns.
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And i do think that the lord will allow us to sometimes even
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Stay stuck so that we can heal and be transformed in some of
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The areas that we aren't fully healed yet, or some of the
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Areas where we are still looking back and walking in
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Our old identity. very good.
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I've seen that be so real in my life.
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And i mean, you know, one good example for me is one of the
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Lies i used to believe all the time was that he, that god was
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Good, just not to me. yes.
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And that particular lie, um, kind of weaved through my
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Entire kind of narrative and it became such an identity, right?
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So i lived incredibly rejected, incredibly abandoned.
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Um, and in comparison, right,
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So looking at everyone else to see what god was up to,
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Forgetting what he had done for me.
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And so he spent a long time chipping that away and saying,
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Hey, i want you to move forward, but i want you to want
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To move forward too. yeah. so good.
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And there's something there that i think when we unlock
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That identity where we're propelled into our new season
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With god, but i do think there's a grace there where he
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Won't allow it until we allow him--
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That's right. to renew us.
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One of the most deadly things we can ever do is comparison.
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I remember when i was invited to speak at a conference, it
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Was called women of faith.
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We actually went for 20 years and i was one of the speakers.
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But i'll never forget my first night because two of the other
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Women spoke before me, and one of them was just brilliant.
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I mean, she had all her notes and her study was brilliant.
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The second one was hilarious.
00:09:56.408 --> 00:09:58.076
I mean, i literally fallen off my chair laughing.
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And then there was a break, and then it was me and i went to
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The toilet and i locked myself in and i'm like, lord,
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I can't do this.
00:10:04.749 --> 00:10:06.151
I'm not brilliant like that, and i'm not funny like that.
00:10:06.151 --> 00:10:09.521
What do i do?
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And i honestly felt as if the lord said to me,
00:10:10.722 --> 00:10:12.757
Run in your own lane.
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I don't need you to be that,
00:10:14.392 --> 00:10:15.727
And i don't need you to be that.
00:10:15.727 --> 00:10:17.195
But i've made you, you.
00:10:17.195 --> 00:10:19.564
So i don't know, maybe you look at people in your study group
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Or your church or at work and you think, well, they're more
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Gifted than i am.
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All jesus asks of us is, what did you do with what i put
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In your hands?
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And when you do that, when you concentrate on what
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Jesus has given you, he will
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Bless it and break it and feed people.
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Even with lot's wife,
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I think, you know, god gives us all these directions and ways
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To go about how we can get unstuck,
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You know, and calling us forward.
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But then it becomes disobedience to look back like
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Lot's wife. and consequences.
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It's a choice.
00:10:57.869 --> 00:10:59.137
So, so i think we have to be careful getting stuck because
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Then you never walk in god's fullness.
00:11:03.608 --> 00:11:05.977
You never see god to who he really is.
00:11:05.977 --> 00:11:09.080
You don't ever have the fulfillment in your life
00:11:09.080 --> 00:11:11.916
If you get stuck and refuse to get out, you know, and our
00:11:11.916 --> 00:11:16.187
Choices of yesterday should never have any effect on our
00:11:16.187 --> 00:11:20.291
Decisions that we make now, from now on, because he has
00:11:20.291 --> 00:11:23.128
Made all things new.
00:11:23.128 --> 00:11:24.629
We are new creations in christ jesus.
00:11:24.629 --> 00:11:27.198
Old things are passed away.
00:11:27.198 --> 00:11:29.033
All things are new.
00:11:29.033 --> 00:11:30.301
Yeah. oh, i know it.
00:11:30.301 --> 00:11:31.636
Such freedom.
00:11:31.636 --> 00:11:32.437
I feel like we
00:11:32.437 --> 00:11:33.404
If we're not careful, we can build an--
00:11:33.404 --> 00:11:36.307
Rather than just keeping it as a memorial to the past,
00:11:36.307 --> 00:11:39.477
We can keep it almost as an altar.
00:11:39.477 --> 00:11:40.912
So we keep going back to that same space.
00:11:40.912 --> 00:11:43.681
I think probably all of us have maybe faced the same thing.
00:11:43.681 --> 00:11:47.018
Like i was sexually abused as a child and told that the reason
00:11:47.018 --> 00:11:50.655
I was sexually abused was i was too beautiful to resist, and
00:11:50.655 --> 00:11:53.858
Nobody would believe me if i told anybody.
00:11:53.858 --> 00:11:56.461
So then immediately two lies attached themselves.
00:11:56.461 --> 00:11:59.964
That became truth to me.
00:11:59.964 --> 00:12:01.065
That's right.
00:12:01.065 --> 00:12:02.100
Beauty is painful and you don't have a voice.
00:12:02.100 --> 00:12:05.370
And so throughout my life, no matter-- even in ministry, even
00:12:05.370 --> 00:12:09.174
Like in my 30s, still couldn't understand why
00:12:09.174 --> 00:12:13.011
It was almost like a bungee cord that kept pulling me back.
00:12:13.011 --> 00:12:16.014
Because you would be in a situation filled with a
00:12:16.014 --> 00:12:19.350
Room full of people, but nobody sees me or i'm not valued
00:12:19.350 --> 00:12:22.987
In this space. shame comes.
00:12:22.987 --> 00:12:24.923
You don't even realize why
00:12:24.923 --> 00:12:25.757
Sometimes you're in a room,
00:12:25.757 --> 00:12:26.858
There's nothing you've done but you feel unclean.
00:12:26.858 --> 00:12:29.294
It's because those lies were still navigating and narrating
00:12:29.294 --> 00:12:33.832
And defining me.
00:12:33.832 --> 00:12:35.300
And when, when god spoke to me a number of years ago and said,
00:12:35.300 --> 00:12:38.303
You decide if the lie is an indicator or an intimidator,
00:12:38.303 --> 00:12:43.508
It's an indicator.
00:12:43.508 --> 00:12:44.809
It's like if you see it through my eyes, i'm indicating to you
00:12:44.809 --> 00:12:47.378
That behind that lie, that fear, that insecurity and that
00:12:47.378 --> 00:12:49.848
Shame is something i want to do.
00:12:49.848 --> 00:12:51.950
And as long as the lie, the shame, the insecurity is hiding
00:12:51.950 --> 00:12:54.686
It, you're going to stay stuck.
00:12:54.686 --> 00:12:56.387
But if you'll instead see it as the indicator, don't let it
00:12:56.387 --> 00:12:59.524
Intimidate you,
00:12:59.524 --> 00:13:00.692
Look beyond that.
00:13:00.692 --> 00:13:01.926
And that shifted everything, because that's when i could
00:13:01.926 --> 00:13:04.095
Allow the word to actually begin to transform me.
00:13:04.095 --> 00:13:07.498
I mean, i was still reading the word every morning, but it
00:13:07.498 --> 00:13:09.868
Wasn't going in because i was still holding to the past and
00:13:09.868 --> 00:13:14.172
Allowed that to be the filter.
00:13:14.172 --> 00:13:15.506
But when i finally changed and allowed the truth to seep in,
00:13:15.506 --> 00:13:20.245
Everything began to change.
00:13:20.245 --> 00:13:22.013
Rooms began to change the way i saw myself, but ultimately the
00:13:22.013 --> 00:13:25.450
Way i saw god, that he's good.
00:13:25.450 --> 00:13:27.619
You know, you were reading in philippians, and i love how
00:13:27.619 --> 00:13:30.555
Paul says, you know, forgetting the past,
00:13:30.555 --> 00:13:32.790
Reaching towards,
00:13:32.790 --> 00:13:33.892
But he also says that i hold on to that for which
00:13:33.892 --> 00:13:36.661
I'm being held onto for.
00:13:36.661 --> 00:13:38.796
God never stops holding on to us.
00:13:38.796 --> 00:13:41.666
The only way you're going to forget the past is to remember
00:13:41.666 --> 00:13:43.568
Who's holding you. yeah, i love that. yeah.
00:13:43.568 --> 00:13:45.303
So for me, i didn't fully understand what shame was to
00:13:45.303 --> 00:13:49.407
Begin with.
00:13:49.407 --> 00:13:50.408
I just thought that was part of who i was.
00:13:50.408 --> 00:13:52.010
I should hide that. the sexual abuse was dirty, i was unclean,
00:13:52.010 --> 00:13:56.648
And if people didn't know that, then i would be safer.
00:13:56.648 --> 00:13:59.150
But if you have experienced this, if you're a survivor of
00:13:59.150 --> 00:14:02.720
Sexual abuse, i can't encourage you enough to be able to share
00:14:02.720 --> 00:14:07.325
That with somebody safe.
00:14:07.325 --> 00:14:08.793
Obviously, you're not just going to, you know, tell it
00:14:08.793 --> 00:14:10.628
From the mountaintops, but share it with somebody safe
00:14:10.628 --> 00:14:13.264
Because it wasn't your fault.
00:14:13.264 --> 00:14:14.999
Somebody took advantage of you.
00:14:14.999 --> 00:14:16.968
Whether you were a child or a teenager or whatever that
00:14:16.968 --> 00:14:19.103
Looked like.
00:14:19.103 --> 00:14:20.371
And i am sorry that your life has been marked in that way.
00:14:20.371 --> 00:14:23.341
But what i do know this is that when you present it to god,
00:14:23.341 --> 00:14:27.545
Surrender to god,
00:14:27.545 --> 00:14:28.546
Talk to god about-- god's--
00:14:28.546 --> 00:14:30.014
I used to think god was embarrassed of this dirty thing
00:14:30.014 --> 00:14:33.184
That had happened to me, but god's not.
00:14:33.184 --> 00:14:35.019
God wants to heal it, restore it.
00:14:35.019 --> 00:14:37.188
And the more now
00:14:37.188 --> 00:14:38.323
That i share about it, i see people's, men and women,
00:14:38.323 --> 00:14:42.293
Lives being set free because what the enemy wants to keep
00:14:42.293 --> 00:14:45.563
Hidden, you can't heal from.
00:14:45.563 --> 00:14:47.398
You only heal when you're able to present it to god and begin
00:14:47.398 --> 00:14:50.668
To talk about it.
00:14:50.668 --> 00:14:53.404
Psalm 103 verses 11 through 12.
00:14:53.404 --> 00:14:55.840
I'm reading from the nlt version.
00:14:55.840 --> 00:14:58.042
For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great
00:14:58.042 --> 00:15:01.713
As the height of the heavens above the earth.
00:15:01.713 --> 00:15:05.083
He has removed our sins as far
00:15:05.083 --> 00:15:08.252
As from the east is from the west.
00:15:08.252 --> 00:15:12.156
Guys, when we are redeeming from our past or walking
00:15:12.156 --> 00:15:15.893
Through seasons of healing, it is god's unfailing love that
00:15:15.893 --> 00:15:19.897
Reaches back to the places where we feel that are the most
00:15:19.897 --> 00:15:23.101
Painful, and he heals us and
00:15:23.101 --> 00:15:25.470
Meets us in it because of his love.
00:15:25.470 --> 00:15:27.071
His love is what restores us.
00:15:27.071 --> 00:15:28.539
His love is what mends us and pieces us back together.
00:15:28.539 --> 00:15:32.276
Maybe you don't know this kind of love.
00:15:32.276 --> 00:15:34.612
Maybe you don't know that his
00:15:34.612 --> 00:15:36.114
Love is what puts back together
00:15:36.114 --> 00:15:38.182
The pieces of your life that feel like are completely too
00:15:38.182 --> 00:15:41.119
Far gone to restore you.
00:15:41.119 --> 00:15:43.121
Know that his love is for you.
00:15:43.121 --> 00:15:44.922
And that his love is the thing
00:15:44.922 --> 00:15:46.290
That stitches you back together
00:15:46.290 --> 00:15:47.558
And mends us even when we feel like nothing else can.
00:15:47.558 --> 00:15:51.562
God wants us to do life
00:15:51.562 --> 00:15:52.764
Together because we are better together.
00:15:52.764 --> 00:15:55.400
You can connect with us on social media and join a
00:15:55.400 --> 00:15:57.935
Community that encourages and prays for one another.
00:15:57.935 --> 00:16:00.671
We can't wait for you to join us.
00:16:00.671 --> 00:16:03.441
Let's keep the conversation going.
00:16:03.441 --> 00:16:05.710
You can find the better together podcast on your
00:16:05.710 --> 00:16:08.146
Favorite listening platform.
00:16:08.146 --> 00:16:09.947
Subscribe today.
00:16:09.947 --> 00:16:13.997
Subscribe today.
00:16:13.997 --> 00:16:14.685
It's like joseph, the thing
00:16:17.722 --> 00:16:19.057
The enemy intended for evil,
00:16:19.057 --> 00:16:20.691
God intended for good.
00:16:20.691 --> 00:16:21.993
And i think that's the way god redeems our past.
00:16:21.993 --> 00:16:24.662
You know, the things that we think, well, let's just cover
00:16:24.662 --> 00:16:26.531
That up and forget about that,
00:16:26.531 --> 00:16:27.999
Nobody needs to know about that,
00:16:27.999 --> 00:16:29.734
When those are given to god-- yes.
00:16:29.734 --> 00:16:31.869
I have this kind of paving stone, garden stone in our
00:16:31.869 --> 00:16:34.739
Backyard that our son made for me when he was little and he
00:16:34.739 --> 00:16:39.544
Got the cement, he put all the different pieces of china and
00:16:39.544 --> 00:16:42.547
Different things in it.
00:16:42.547 --> 00:16:43.781
And then he wrote with his little finger, i love you, mom,
00:16:43.781 --> 00:16:46.651
And i love it.
00:16:46.651 --> 00:16:47.885
I mean, obviously because christian made it.
00:16:47.885 --> 00:16:49.821
But the second reason is because it's a beautiful thing
00:16:49.821 --> 00:16:52.123
That god will do with a broken
00:16:52.123 --> 00:16:53.491
Life if you give him all the pieces.
00:16:53.491 --> 00:16:55.560
Because i mean, i've talked about this before, but when i
00:16:55.560 --> 00:16:58.129
Spend a month in a psychiatric hospital diagnosed with severe
00:16:58.129 --> 00:17:01.232
Clinical depression,
00:17:01.232 --> 00:17:02.500
I think that's not something you ever talk about, you know,
00:17:02.500 --> 00:17:04.836
Because that's something to be ashamed of.
00:17:04.836 --> 00:17:06.404
And i'll never forget the first time i actually publicly spoke
00:17:06.404 --> 00:17:09.140
About it, it was to a pastor's wife.
00:17:09.140 --> 00:17:12.043
He had called me and said, i know i'm probably not supposed
00:17:12.043 --> 00:17:15.146
To know this, but i do know that you have struggled
00:17:15.146 --> 00:17:18.082
With mental illness.
00:17:18.082 --> 00:17:19.617
My wife takes medication.
00:17:19.617 --> 00:17:21.152
Nobody in our church knows because she feels ashamed.
00:17:21.152 --> 00:17:24.021
Is there any way you could spend a little time with her?
00:17:24.021 --> 00:17:26.357
And i was like, absolutely.
00:17:26.357 --> 00:17:27.458
If she's willing to,
00:17:27.458 --> 00:17:28.726
Absolutely. so she came and met me at my hotel, and at first
00:17:28.726 --> 00:17:31.362
She wouldn't even make eye contact with me.
00:17:31.362 --> 00:17:33.731
And we sat down and i said, listen, you don't have to tell
00:17:33.731 --> 00:17:36.134
Me anything about your life.
00:17:36.134 --> 00:17:37.635
But if you don't mind, i'd love to tell you something.
00:17:37.635 --> 00:17:39.470
And i told her about this journey, and i--
00:17:39.470 --> 00:17:42.707
Wow.
00:17:42.707 --> 00:17:43.975
I'll never forget us both on our knees, just weeping at the
00:17:43.975 --> 00:17:48.112
Throne of grace and mercy.
00:17:48.112 --> 00:17:49.981
And when i saw her run out of the room into her husband's
00:17:49.981 --> 00:17:53.017
Arms, i thought, lord, i would go through all of that again,
00:17:53.017 --> 00:17:55.486
Just even for that one woman, that god wants to redeem, not
00:17:55.486 --> 00:17:58.990
Cover our past.
00:17:58.990 --> 00:17:59.757
I mean, our sins are covered,
00:17:59.757 --> 00:18:01.425
But he wants to redeem our past. that's right.
00:18:01.425 --> 00:18:03.761
And then we get to stand up in the lives of someone else.
00:18:03.761 --> 00:18:06.364
Well, that's when it matters.
00:18:06.364 --> 00:18:07.498
You know, i feel like one of
00:18:07.498 --> 00:18:08.566
The threats of the enemy is exposure.
00:18:08.566 --> 00:18:10.701
You know, don't talk about your past.
00:18:10.701 --> 00:18:12.136
Carry it with you.
00:18:12.136 --> 00:18:13.037
Let it absolutely give you an ulcer.
00:18:13.037 --> 00:18:14.705
But don't talk about it because he's so terrified of exposure.
00:18:14.705 --> 00:18:18.509
But the thing is, we need to know that his threat against us
00:18:18.509 --> 00:18:21.779
Is very connected to our threat against him.
00:18:21.779 --> 00:18:24.115
And when we go to those places and see god redeem it, we bring
00:18:24.115 --> 00:18:27.084
It into the light.
00:18:27.084 --> 00:18:28.319
He's the one who's exposed, because now you've taken his
00:18:28.319 --> 00:18:30.454
Power away, and now god can use it for so much good.
00:18:30.454 --> 00:18:34.158
And i wonder how many christians are walking through
00:18:34.158 --> 00:18:36.794
Life with so much trauma. come on.
00:18:36.794 --> 00:18:38.696
It's a no talk issue.
00:18:38.696 --> 00:18:39.530
I'm not willing to talk about it,
00:18:39.530 --> 00:18:40.731
Right. and god's like, no, it's an invitation.
00:18:40.731 --> 00:18:43.334
I want to redeem it so that you can help many.
00:18:43.334 --> 00:18:46.003
And oh, if we could get free to that point,
00:18:46.003 --> 00:18:48.272
What an incredible thing.
00:18:48.272 --> 00:18:50.641
We don't realize how often shame impacts how we show up,
00:18:50.641 --> 00:18:54.645
How we see people.
00:18:54.645 --> 00:18:56.013
We're to be conduits of the kingdom. were to be conduits
00:18:56.013 --> 00:18:59.016
Of god's love.
00:18:59.016 --> 00:19:00.318
And i would say that often his love gets lost in translation
00:19:00.318 --> 00:19:03.654
When we don't live loved, when we don't realize how profoundly
00:19:03.654 --> 00:19:06.958
And deeply he loves us and what he paid for to set us free.
00:19:06.958 --> 00:19:11.128
So one of the ways that you know you're walking in shame
00:19:11.128 --> 00:19:13.564
Is if you over apologize, if you feel like you're taking up
00:19:13.564 --> 00:19:16.500
Space in the room, if you feel like you don't belong.
00:19:16.500 --> 00:19:19.704
Jesus would never say any of those things to you,
00:19:19.704 --> 00:19:21.939
But guess who would? the devil.
00:19:21.939 --> 00:19:23.741
So there's some lie that you believe.
00:19:23.741 --> 00:19:25.710
And there's a truth that you need.
00:19:25.710 --> 00:19:27.345
And if you trust god, ask him.
00:19:27.345 --> 00:19:29.146
Shine the light on this part of my story.
00:19:29.146 --> 00:19:30.881
Where did i pick up this lie
00:19:30.881 --> 00:19:33.050
When life let me down?
00:19:33.050 --> 00:19:34.252
And then lead me on the path of life.
00:19:34.252 --> 00:19:36.053
And he will do that for you.
00:19:36.053 --> 00:19:37.421
He's the healer, he's the advocate.
00:19:37.421 --> 00:19:39.523
He's the prince of peace.
00:19:39.523 --> 00:19:40.891
This is what he does.
00:19:40.891 --> 00:19:42.126
And this is who he is.
00:19:42.126 --> 00:19:42.893
He can do that for you.
00:19:42.893 --> 00:19:45.463
Shame is the worst
00:19:45.463 --> 00:19:46.998
Because i don't think you
00:19:46.998 --> 00:19:48.266
Realize shame is talking to you
00:19:48.266 --> 00:19:50.468
Because it's become a normal voice that you listen to
00:19:50.468 --> 00:19:52.803
All the time.
00:19:52.803 --> 00:19:54.038
But if shame is talking to you and there's condemnation,
00:19:54.038 --> 00:19:57.074
Here's the difference.
00:19:57.074 --> 00:19:58.209
When god speaks, there's always hope attached to it.
00:19:58.209 --> 00:20:01.112
So if you're hearing a voice that does not have hope
00:20:01.112 --> 00:20:03.714
Attached to it, it's a lie from the pit of hell.
00:20:03.714 --> 00:20:06.350
And you're right.
00:20:06.350 --> 00:20:07.251
So those lies that were told to
00:20:07.251 --> 00:20:08.486
Me were indicators of a calling.
00:20:08.486 --> 00:20:10.021
I have a voice. yes.
00:20:10.021 --> 00:20:11.555
Beauty is not painful.
00:20:11.555 --> 00:20:13.291
Yes. right.
00:20:13.291 --> 00:20:14.659
So all of that was the battle over the calling and an
00:20:14.659 --> 00:20:19.297
Indicator of what god was doing.
00:20:19.297 --> 00:20:21.098
And i wonder how many people are just like you said, hiding.
00:20:21.098 --> 00:20:24.268
I mean, the first way that god defines adam and eve is he
00:20:24.268 --> 00:20:28.372
Created them, and they had no shame.
00:20:28.372 --> 00:20:31.375
It could have been no fear.
00:20:31.375 --> 00:20:32.910
It could have been
00:20:32.910 --> 00:20:33.678
They were happy.
00:20:33.678 --> 00:20:35.112
Why shame?
00:20:35.112 --> 00:20:36.047
It was the original creations design.
00:20:36.047 --> 00:20:38.849
That's really part--
00:20:38.849 --> 00:20:39.784
But here's what's interesting.
00:20:39.784 --> 00:20:41.152
I had it this morning.
00:20:41.152 --> 00:20:42.687
I mean, before i come to the studio to come and sit with
00:20:42.687 --> 00:20:45.156
Some of my dearest sisters in the world, i'm walking my
00:20:45.156 --> 00:20:47.958
Little dog maggie around the lake.
00:20:47.958 --> 00:20:50.061
And i'd made this kind of commitment in this new year to
00:20:50.061 --> 00:20:53.030
Do a particular way of studying the word of god.
00:20:53.030 --> 00:20:55.866
And i'm walking and what i hear in my head is, well, you've
00:20:55.866 --> 00:20:59.503
Really blown that.
00:20:59.503 --> 00:21:00.705
You know, you're not very faithful on that, you know.
00:21:00.705 --> 00:21:03.441
And god's disappointed in you.
00:21:03.441 --> 00:21:05.543
And i mean, that's this morning.
00:21:05.543 --> 00:21:07.111
Yes. and so at that point, i just, i literally, i mean, i
00:21:07.111 --> 00:21:11.282
Pulled my dog up and i said, hang on a minute, maggie.
00:21:11.282 --> 00:21:13.551
And i literally said, the steadfast love of the
00:21:13.551 --> 00:21:16.020
Lord never fails.
00:21:16.020 --> 00:21:17.655
His mercies are new every morning.
00:21:17.655 --> 00:21:20.191
That's right.
00:21:20.191 --> 00:21:21.459
The only way i can counter that is by replacing it with the
00:21:21.459 --> 00:21:23.661
Truth of the word of god.
00:21:23.661 --> 00:21:25.162
Out loud. but you--
00:21:25.162 --> 00:21:26.130
Out loud. yeah. out loud.
00:21:26.130 --> 00:21:27.665
I'm sure my neighbors think i'm nuts.
00:21:27.665 --> 00:21:29.200
I talk out loud a lot in my walks, but it's just there's
00:21:29.200 --> 00:21:32.770
Something about
00:21:32.770 --> 00:21:33.504
Until we see jesus face to face,
00:21:33.504 --> 00:21:35.539
We're still going to face some of those things, but it's
00:21:35.539 --> 00:21:38.209
Learning how to counter that.
00:21:38.209 --> 00:21:41.679
If you think that your past disqualifies you, then that
00:21:41.679 --> 00:21:44.782
Means we're all disqualified.
00:21:44.782 --> 00:21:47.284
But we cannot save ourselves.
00:21:47.284 --> 00:21:49.153
That's why jesus came.
00:21:49.153 --> 00:21:50.921
Jesus came to pay for it all.
00:21:50.921 --> 00:21:53.424
Everything that disqualifies you,
00:21:53.424 --> 00:21:56.961
Jesus came and bought you back with a price.
00:21:56.961 --> 00:22:00.598
He laid his life down for you.
00:22:00.598 --> 00:22:02.867
There is nothing that we can do that is outside of god's grace
00:22:02.867 --> 00:22:07.371
And outside of his compassion for us that
00:22:07.371 --> 00:22:10.708
He didn't die for.
00:22:10.708 --> 00:22:12.710
That's what he came.
00:22:12.710 --> 00:22:13.677
He gave new life.
00:22:13.677 --> 00:22:15.746
Old things are passed away.
00:22:15.746 --> 00:22:17.748
All things are new.
00:22:17.748 --> 00:22:19.350
His mercies are new every morning.
00:22:19.350 --> 00:22:21.018
That means you can get up every day and you can start afresh
00:22:21.018 --> 00:22:25.389
Every day.
00:22:25.389 --> 00:22:26.123
Yeah, maybe i blew it yesterday.
00:22:26.123 --> 00:22:27.992
But you know what?
00:22:27.992 --> 00:22:29.360
God's mercies go on forever and ever.
00:22:29.360 --> 00:22:32.196
And today is a new day.
00:22:32.196 --> 00:22:33.497
And his mercies and his grace is mine today.
00:22:33.497 --> 00:22:38.102
I remember a time when i was growing up, seven kids.
00:22:38.102 --> 00:22:40.938
My dad was the mayor of our city and so there was a sense
00:22:40.938 --> 00:22:43.741
We needed to behave.
00:22:43.741 --> 00:22:45.009
You know, my brothers didn't get the memo, but the girls we
00:22:45.009 --> 00:22:46.777
All knew were supposed to behave.
00:22:46.777 --> 00:22:48.379
But we went through times of financial hardship, but my dad
00:22:48.379 --> 00:22:51.215
Would never let us admit it.
00:22:51.215 --> 00:22:52.683
You know, bless his heart, he's in heaven now.
00:22:52.683 --> 00:22:55.019
I didn't know where he'd come from, so i didn't know why the
00:22:55.019 --> 00:22:57.221
Appearance thing was so big for him.
00:22:57.221 --> 00:22:58.589
But he would come from such poverty.
00:22:58.589 --> 00:23:00.491
All that to say, i went with my mom to the grocery store was,
00:23:00.491 --> 00:23:03.894
You know, feeding a family of nine.
00:23:03.894 --> 00:23:05.629
She's loading up.
00:23:05.629 --> 00:23:06.931
You know, the conveyor belt with all the groceries.
00:23:06.931 --> 00:23:09.099
And, you know, we get to the end and the cashier says, i'm
00:23:09.099 --> 00:23:12.102
Sorry, mrs. erickson, your last check bounced, so we can't
00:23:12.102 --> 00:23:16.073
Take these groceries.
00:23:16.073 --> 00:23:17.308
There's people in line, and my mom's just this darling,
00:23:17.308 --> 00:23:20.544
Precious thing.
00:23:20.544 --> 00:23:21.545
And i had to help her put everything back.
00:23:21.545 --> 00:23:23.914
And we got out in the car.
00:23:23.914 --> 00:23:25.182
She put her head on the
00:23:25.182 --> 00:23:26.016
Steering wheel and she just wailed.
00:23:26.016 --> 00:23:27.751
She just cried.
00:23:27.751 --> 00:23:28.519
And i just was this young girl.
00:23:28.519 --> 00:23:29.920
And i was just like, i never
00:23:29.920 --> 00:23:30.921
Want to go through that ever, ever.
00:23:30.921 --> 00:23:32.823
Well, then you jump ahead.
00:23:32.823 --> 00:23:33.991
I'm a young mom battling lyme disease.
00:23:33.991 --> 00:23:35.726
Our medical debt was higher than our income.
00:23:35.726 --> 00:23:38.062
I mean, we came into our marriage with good credit.
00:23:38.062 --> 00:23:39.763
We had decent jobs, but our lives were flipped upside down
00:23:39.763 --> 00:23:42.666
With three little babies and this wretched disease.
00:23:42.666 --> 00:23:45.135
And so suddenly we had more medical debt than income.
00:23:45.135 --> 00:23:48.038
And so we had bill collectors, which was humiliating.
00:23:48.038 --> 00:23:50.474
I mean, we had bill collectors calling us.
00:23:50.474 --> 00:23:52.042
And one of them, she told me, you're pathetic.
00:23:52.042 --> 00:23:54.044
You're a piece of work because we didn't have enough to pay
00:23:54.044 --> 00:23:56.480
Off that particular bill.
00:23:56.480 --> 00:23:58.382
And i brought the little boys to the doctor's office, and
00:23:58.382 --> 00:24:01.485
It's a busy waiting room.
00:24:01.485 --> 00:24:03.153
And you know this woman,
00:24:03.153 --> 00:24:04.688
The receptionist yells, uh, mrs. larsen.
00:24:04.688 --> 00:24:07.124
I'm like, that's me thinking i'm next.
00:24:07.124 --> 00:24:08.526
And she goes, i'm sorry, we can't see you today.
00:24:08.526 --> 00:24:11.762
She said, we need a little more
00:24:11.762 --> 00:24:12.796
Than $5 a month on your account.
00:24:12.796 --> 00:24:15.432
And everybody looked at me and i packed up my boys, went out
00:24:15.432 --> 00:24:19.637
Into the car, buckled them up, put my head on the steering
00:24:19.637 --> 00:24:22.172
Wheel and i thought, here i am.
00:24:22.172 --> 00:24:24.275
And, you know, when ministry opportunities started
00:24:24.275 --> 00:24:26.076
To come up, i--
00:24:26.076 --> 00:24:27.645
Because we had hardship and i had some things to say, but i
00:24:27.645 --> 00:24:30.381
Was terrified of exposure.
00:24:30.381 --> 00:24:32.249
I was just like, i cannot do this.
00:24:32.249 --> 00:24:34.385
I cannot do this.
00:24:34.385 --> 00:24:35.286
I don't want to be humiliated.
00:24:35.286 --> 00:24:37.021
And i was sitting in my sink putting on my makeup.
00:24:37.021 --> 00:24:39.456
That's another show, another time.
00:24:39.456 --> 00:24:40.724
But so sitting in the sink, doing my mascara, getting ready
00:24:40.724 --> 00:24:44.094
For an event--
00:24:44.094 --> 00:24:45.095
And again, like you said, i love the lord.
00:24:45.095 --> 00:24:47.364
I was in the word, i worshiped him, but i had sick feeling,
00:24:47.364 --> 00:24:50.668
Like there was a mistrust in me.
00:24:50.668 --> 00:24:52.636
And the voice of the lord thundered in my spirit.
00:24:52.636 --> 00:24:55.039
And he just said, i expose the wicked.
00:24:55.039 --> 00:24:57.141
I defend, deliver and establish the righteous, not because
00:24:57.141 --> 00:25:00.711
They're perfect, but because they're mine, and you are mine.
00:25:00.711 --> 00:25:03.881
And i'm like, what?
00:25:03.881 --> 00:25:05.616
And i heard it again, louder.
00:25:05.616 --> 00:25:07.151
In my spirit, i exposed the wicked.
00:25:07.151 --> 00:25:09.153
I defend, deliver and establish the righteous.
00:25:09.153 --> 00:25:11.355
Not because they're perfect, because they're mine,
00:25:11.355 --> 00:25:13.324
And you are mine.
00:25:13.324 --> 00:25:15.159
And i cried my eyes out, but it was like something just flipped
00:25:15.159 --> 00:25:19.096
In me and i realized, okay, he has our back, you know?
00:25:19.096 --> 00:25:23.000
I mean, it's not to say the enemy's not going to take
00:25:23.000 --> 00:25:24.868
Potshots or people aren't going to let us down, but the
00:25:24.868 --> 00:25:27.605
Steadfast love of the lord never ceases.
00:25:27.605 --> 00:25:29.340
And if he calls us out, he will hold us up.
00:25:29.340 --> 00:25:32.977
Love is what heals us. because he loved us first,
00:25:32.977 --> 00:25:35.813
That first time,
00:25:35.813 --> 00:25:36.714
He loves us first every single day.
00:25:36.714 --> 00:25:39.116
And you know, there was a brain scientist on my radio show, and
00:25:39.116 --> 00:25:42.019
I was trying to get my brain back because i'd had a massive
00:25:42.019 --> 00:25:44.288
Relapse that affected me cognitively.
00:25:44.288 --> 00:25:46.657
So i was really interested in
00:25:46.657 --> 00:25:48.792
Brain science and neuroplasticity.
00:25:48.792 --> 00:25:50.194
And this, this guy said, i'm going to give a challenge to
00:25:50.194 --> 00:25:53.030
Your listeners and i'm going to give this challenge to you.
00:25:53.030 --> 00:25:55.132
He said, susie, if every one of your listeners did this for 15
00:25:55.132 --> 00:25:58.535
Minutes a day, for the next 30 minutes a day, it would change
00:25:58.535 --> 00:26:01.238
Their body, their labs, their perspective and their faith.
00:26:01.238 --> 00:26:03.974
And here it is.
00:26:03.974 --> 00:26:05.275
If you spend 15 minutes a day for the next 30 days meditating
00:26:05.275 --> 00:26:08.579
On the love god has for you, not on the love you have for
00:26:08.579 --> 00:26:11.348
Him, you can use a different 15 minutes for that because
00:26:11.348 --> 00:26:14.151
It's not that you loved god, it's that he loves you.
00:26:14.151 --> 00:26:16.520
Now your love is important, but he loved you first.
00:26:16.520 --> 00:26:19.256
So he said, meditate for 15 minutes.
00:26:19.256 --> 00:26:21.358
That could be a worship playlist.
00:26:21.358 --> 00:26:22.793
It could be paraphrasing scripture.
00:26:22.793 --> 00:26:24.862
It could be writing love
00:26:24.862 --> 00:26:25.729
Letters of just god, you love me.
00:26:25.729 --> 00:26:27.364
You've been so good.
00:26:27.364 --> 00:26:28.532
I'm writing down evidences all the ways you've shown
00:26:28.532 --> 00:26:30.501
Your love to me.
00:26:30.501 --> 00:26:31.735
You could really create a journal of remembrance because
00:26:31.735 --> 00:26:34.638
His handiwork is in your
00:26:34.638 --> 00:26:36.040
History more than you can imagine.
00:26:36.040 --> 00:26:37.641
15 minutes a day for 30 days, he says.
00:26:37.641 --> 00:26:40.010
What would happen at the end is your brain,
00:26:40.010 --> 00:26:42.146
If you scanned your brain before and after, your brain
00:26:42.146 --> 00:26:44.281
Scan would look different. if you took a blood draw,
00:26:44.281 --> 00:26:46.650
Your inflammatory markers would go down.
00:26:46.650 --> 00:26:49.086
Your immune system would rise up
00:26:49.086 --> 00:26:50.921
Not to mention what it would do to your faith perspective.
00:26:50.921 --> 00:26:53.724
We're wired by love.
00:26:53.724 --> 00:26:54.925
We're wired for love.
00:26:54.925 --> 00:26:56.160
And we are in sync with god when we're living as deeply
00:26:56.160 --> 00:26:59.363
Loved children of god.
00:26:59.363 --> 00:27:00.864
That really should be our aim every day,
00:27:00.864 --> 00:27:03.367
Because you can't impart what you don't possess.
00:27:03.367 --> 00:27:05.769
You're not going to love very well if you hold yourself in
00:27:05.769 --> 00:27:08.205
Contempt, and if you keep bracing for impact thinking,
00:27:08.205 --> 00:27:11.308
He's sort of a cosmic killjoy, he's mostly disappointed in
00:27:11.308 --> 00:27:14.411
You, or he sometimes loses your address.
00:27:14.411 --> 00:27:16.513
None of that's true.
00:27:16.513 --> 00:27:18.048
The steadfast love of the lord endures forever.
00:27:18.048 --> 00:27:21.318
He's the same yesterday, today, and forever.
00:27:21.318 --> 00:27:24.154
And you can't fathom the love he has for you.
00:27:24.154 --> 00:27:26.523
So as you try to grasp it, to know his character and you live
00:27:26.523 --> 00:27:30.894
Accordingly, no shame will darken your face because
00:27:30.894 --> 00:27:34.264
There's no condemnation for you who are in christ jesus.
00:27:34.264 --> 00:27:37.434
God not only wants us to live free from shame, he wants us to
00:27:37.434 --> 00:27:40.070
Live powerful lives.
00:27:40.070 --> 00:27:42.740
I got a text from a woman.
00:27:42.740 --> 00:27:44.808
I've never met her, but she was talking about better together.
00:27:44.808 --> 00:27:48.512
And she said, you know how much this program really helps her.
00:27:48.512 --> 00:27:51.348
And she said the thing that she struggled with, she said, i'm a
00:27:51.348 --> 00:27:53.917
Woman who struggled with pornography.
00:27:53.917 --> 00:27:55.819
And she said, that's like a huge--
00:27:55.819 --> 00:27:58.288
It's such a real thing for
00:27:58.288 --> 00:27:59.123
Women that they don't talk about.
00:27:59.123 --> 00:28:00.224
Yeah. and i said, you know, if men can get go to
00:28:00.224 --> 00:28:02.860
Help groups or things.
00:28:02.860 --> 00:28:04.161
But she said, i decided one day in my little bible study group
00:28:04.161 --> 00:28:07.564
To just kind of take a little, put my toe in the water of
00:28:07.564 --> 00:28:10.701
Trying to get some help.
00:28:10.701 --> 00:28:11.969
And she said, i was so shamed
00:28:11.969 --> 00:28:15.606
By their responses that she said, i shut up.
00:28:15.606 --> 00:28:19.143
And for a year i've got no help and said nothing.
00:28:19.143 --> 00:28:21.879
And she was actually saying that's why bettertogether was
00:28:21.879 --> 00:28:24.081
Helping, because we talk about honest, real things.
00:28:24.081 --> 00:28:27.217
Because when things are left in the shadows, in the dark,
00:28:27.217 --> 00:28:29.987
That's where the enemy has his power.
00:28:29.987 --> 00:28:32.256
When my son was in, i think it was while he was at a&m, he was
00:28:32.256 --> 00:28:35.859
Sharing a house with four other boys.
00:28:35.859 --> 00:28:37.694
They were just the best.
00:28:37.694 --> 00:28:39.096
I loved these boys, but one of them was honest enough to say
00:28:39.096 --> 00:28:43.000
To the others, hey, you know what?
00:28:43.000 --> 00:28:44.334
I really struggle with pornography.
00:28:44.334 --> 00:28:45.869
So they're like, okay, cool, we've got you, dude.
00:28:45.869 --> 00:28:47.905
So they took his bedroom door off.
00:28:47.905 --> 00:28:49.973
Wow. and they copied out scriptures and they put them
00:28:49.973 --> 00:28:51.975
All over his wall and all over his ceiling.
00:28:51.975 --> 00:28:54.111
And it was like, surely as christians, we should be able
00:28:54.111 --> 00:28:57.014
To be the most honest, the most vulnerable, the most open.
00:28:57.014 --> 00:29:00.050
But so often we're so afraid of what other people think.
00:29:00.050 --> 00:29:03.053
We forget the father saying, and you are mine, which is
00:29:03.053 --> 00:29:06.390
Louder than any other voice.
00:29:06.390 --> 00:29:08.125
Yeah, i think we lose sight of what we've been redeemed from.
00:29:08.125 --> 00:29:11.662
Yeah. isn't it funny how we can look at somebody else's sin?
00:29:11.662 --> 00:29:14.231
And we're like, that's horrific.
00:29:14.231 --> 00:29:15.699
But mine is just a weakness.
00:29:15.699 --> 00:29:17.501
Yeah, you know. that's true.
00:29:17.501 --> 00:29:20.070
So yeah, the way we frame it is so incorrect.
00:29:20.070 --> 00:29:22.573
Yes, exactly.
00:29:22.573 --> 00:29:23.841
But i do think it's a proper perspective of who god is.
00:29:23.841 --> 00:29:26.977
I think we forget how loved we are.
00:29:26.977 --> 00:29:30.447
I found it very powerful when i was able to share my story of
00:29:30.447 --> 00:29:34.618
The sexual abuse with somebody the first time.
00:29:34.618 --> 00:29:37.087
And they had empathy.
00:29:37.087 --> 00:29:38.856
They had compassion for me.
00:29:38.856 --> 00:29:41.225
They weren't looking at me in shock and almost disciplining
00:29:41.225 --> 00:29:45.062
Me, because i was told in the beginning that the reason why
00:29:45.062 --> 00:29:48.432
The abuse was happening was my fault.
00:29:48.432 --> 00:29:50.801
And so it was very difficult to talk about it.
00:29:50.801 --> 00:29:52.903
But if somebody comes to you with that and they're
00:29:52.903 --> 00:29:54.738
Struggling, maybe it's sexual abuse, maybe they're struggling
00:29:54.738 --> 00:29:57.241
With pornography, maybe there's other addictions
00:29:57.241 --> 00:29:59.243
That they're struggling with,
00:29:59.243 --> 00:30:01.178
The best way to approach that is with the love that jesus
00:30:01.178 --> 00:30:05.549
Already is showing towards them.
00:30:05.549 --> 00:30:07.017
Become that invitation to invite them into that
00:30:07.017 --> 00:30:10.287
Relationship with god where he can heal and restore it.
00:30:10.287 --> 00:30:12.923
We get to be his hands and feet and his mouthpiece.
00:30:12.923 --> 00:30:16.093
But can i just encourage you, don't be part of speaking into
00:30:16.093 --> 00:30:21.098
The shame they're already hearing, but be the safe place
00:30:21.098 --> 00:30:24.668
And then don't tell anybody else.
00:30:24.668 --> 00:30:26.937
Like, keep it to yourself unless they have given you
00:30:26.937 --> 00:30:29.773
Permission to do it, because
00:30:29.773 --> 00:30:30.774
It's not something to gossip about.
00:30:30.774 --> 00:30:32.042
It's something holy and something sacred because
00:30:32.042 --> 00:30:34.912
They're presenting it to you.
00:30:34.912 --> 00:30:36.213
And then it becomes almost like an altar where god can heal it.
00:30:36.213 --> 00:30:39.583
I think that for me, as actually as you guys were
00:30:39.583 --> 00:30:41.785
Sharing stories, there was a moment in my life where i had
00:30:41.785 --> 00:30:44.554
Decided to finally share with my mom that i'd been sexually
00:30:44.554 --> 00:30:47.224
Abused when i was young, too,
00:30:47.224 --> 00:30:48.225
And we were at a starbucks, which
00:30:48.225 --> 00:30:49.660
Terrible idea to share that with your mom at a starbucks.
00:30:49.660 --> 00:30:53.230
I was like, don't ever do-- really private moment.
00:30:53.230 --> 00:30:56.066
And i have a really, which i've talked about this before,
00:30:56.066 --> 00:30:58.335
I have a really contentious
00:30:58.335 --> 00:30:59.236
Relationship with my with my mom.
00:30:59.236 --> 00:31:00.537
And so we hadn't seen each other for a while.
00:31:00.537 --> 00:31:02.472
There were some boundaries that were drawn, and i decided to
00:31:02.472 --> 00:31:04.441
Share that with her.
00:31:04.441 --> 00:31:05.542
And i was pregnant with my oldest daughter, layla,
00:31:05.542 --> 00:31:08.011
Who is now 14.
00:31:08.011 --> 00:31:09.980
Wow. so beautiful.
00:31:09.980 --> 00:31:11.081
So it was a long time ago, but not really, right.
00:31:11.081 --> 00:31:13.050
I was pregnant with layla, 14 years ago was when i finally
00:31:13.050 --> 00:31:15.118
Decided to share this with my mom.
00:31:15.118 --> 00:31:17.254
So i want us to kind of think that through.
00:31:17.254 --> 00:31:18.922
I'm 36 years old.
00:31:18.922 --> 00:31:20.290
Yeah, it took me that long to
00:31:20.290 --> 00:31:22.192
Come to her and share that with her.
00:31:22.192 --> 00:31:23.894
And so i remember telling my husband, mario, like, hey, i
00:31:23.894 --> 00:31:26.029
Think i'm gonna, i think i'm gonna share with my mom what
00:31:26.029 --> 00:31:28.298
Happened when i was six years old.
00:31:28.298 --> 00:31:30.400
And, um, it was a friend of a family and it was just a really
00:31:30.400 --> 00:31:34.304
Awful situation. i ended up sharing with her and i don't
00:31:34.304 --> 00:31:38.575
Think it was--
00:31:38.575 --> 00:31:39.543
You know, we were surrounded by people.
00:31:39.543 --> 00:31:40.410
It was-- it felt like a safe
00:31:40.410 --> 00:31:41.645
Place to be with her and to share.
00:31:41.645 --> 00:31:42.946
And her response was devastating.
00:31:42.946 --> 00:31:45.315
And i remember thinking to myself, like, if i, if i can't--
00:31:45.315 --> 00:31:49.853
It took me this long to share.
00:31:49.853 --> 00:31:51.421
If i can't share it with vulnerability and honesty, the
00:31:51.421 --> 00:31:54.491
Things that have happened to me with my own mom--
00:31:54.491 --> 00:31:56.927
Yeah. then who can i share with?
00:31:56.927 --> 00:31:58.495
And so that reaffirmed or reconfirmed a narrative, right,
00:31:58.495 --> 00:32:02.599
That i couldn't trust anyone to walk with me.
00:32:02.599 --> 00:32:06.269
And i, you know, i'd been walking with jesus now for i
00:32:06.269 --> 00:32:09.006
Was, gosh, since i was 18 and i was relearning
00:32:09.006 --> 00:32:14.644
Who god was and allowing him to father me.
00:32:14.644 --> 00:32:16.646
And so i was already kind of walking through that process of
00:32:16.646 --> 00:32:19.249
Who god is as father.
00:32:19.249 --> 00:32:20.350
That was really important for me, too.
00:32:20.350 --> 00:32:21.718
So all that to say, it was kind of complicated.
00:32:21.718 --> 00:32:23.553
I shared with her.
00:32:23.553 --> 00:32:24.287
It didn't go the way i thought.
00:32:24.287 --> 00:32:25.555
And so i got in my car and i remember sitting-- uh, i think,
00:32:25.555 --> 00:32:28.759
You know, that steering wheel must be a special place.
00:32:28.759 --> 00:32:31.461
The front seat of the car, the driver's seat for women.
00:32:31.461 --> 00:32:33.730
Right? i remember sitting there and before i called mario, i
00:32:33.730 --> 00:32:37.300
Remember saying to god, like, i don't think, i don't think i'll
00:32:37.300 --> 00:32:40.203
Ever be free from this.
00:32:40.203 --> 00:32:41.571
Like, i don't think i'll ever
00:32:41.571 --> 00:32:42.406
Be free from the weight of this.
00:32:42.406 --> 00:32:45.308
And now not only do i carry the shame of my childhood, but the
00:32:45.308 --> 00:32:48.211
Shame that rejection will just always be a part of my story,
00:32:48.211 --> 00:32:51.548
Even from the women who i felt like, man, she really--
00:32:51.548 --> 00:32:54.151
And of course, i'm very careful with what i share about my mom.
00:32:54.151 --> 00:32:57.654
And i think in her own pain, she was giving me
00:32:57.654 --> 00:32:59.689
What she could, right?
00:32:59.689 --> 00:33:01.491
She was giving me what she had access to.
00:33:01.491 --> 00:33:03.160
And so i spent years learning how to show up in rooms, not
00:33:03.160 --> 00:33:07.330
Allowing that narrative to become me.
00:33:07.330 --> 00:33:09.266
And i think what shifted for me was when the lord said, i am
00:33:09.266 --> 00:33:12.536
Both father and mother to you, and i need you to learn my
00:33:12.536 --> 00:33:16.273
Voice for you, and i need you to learn who i am and what i
00:33:16.273 --> 00:33:19.276
Have said about you.
00:33:19.276 --> 00:33:20.110
And so he took me through.
00:33:20.110 --> 00:33:21.645
He actually walked me back through a lot of these core
00:33:21.645 --> 00:33:24.347
Memories. like, a lot of the things i remember about my
00:33:24.347 --> 00:33:26.616
Childhood in my life, it's just hardship.
00:33:26.616 --> 00:33:29.286
Even when i go to share stories, it's just often asked
00:33:29.286 --> 00:33:31.922
Him like, help me, help me
00:33:31.922 --> 00:33:32.923
Remember some of the good things.
00:33:32.923 --> 00:33:34.291
And he's-- for a season,
00:33:34.291 --> 00:33:35.725
He just said, i really want you to go back to these moments
00:33:35.725 --> 00:33:37.828
Where you thought you were defined, and i want to
00:33:37.828 --> 00:33:39.463
Speak life over that.
00:33:39.463 --> 00:33:40.897
And so i wasn't until about maybe ten years ago or so,
00:33:40.897 --> 00:33:44.935
Where the lord began to help me
00:33:44.935 --> 00:33:46.937
Hear his voice and hear his word.
00:33:46.937 --> 00:33:48.405
And that changed everything for
00:33:48.405 --> 00:33:49.840
Me because it became the narrative.
00:33:49.840 --> 00:33:51.308
And it's almost like he taught me to audit myself.
00:33:51.308 --> 00:33:54.478
What am i believing? what am i hearing?
00:33:54.478 --> 00:33:56.146
What am i--
00:33:56.146 --> 00:33:57.047
How am i filtering my life?
00:33:57.047 --> 00:33:58.281
Am i filtering my moments
00:33:58.281 --> 00:33:59.683
Through my pain, through my trauma?
00:33:59.683 --> 00:34:02.419
And that, i think, allowed me to enter rooms and say, no, i
00:34:02.419 --> 00:34:07.424
Know who i am.
00:34:07.424 --> 00:34:08.458
I know i'm beloved.
00:34:08.458 --> 00:34:09.326
I know i'm a daughter of the king.
00:34:09.326 --> 00:34:10.460
I know that i'm an heir to this throne with him.
00:34:10.460 --> 00:34:13.864
And not to say that it went away right away, but my faith
00:34:13.864 --> 00:34:17.167
Muscle of walking in identity and victory grew more and more
00:34:17.167 --> 00:34:21.705
The more that i was able to kind of draw a line in the sand
00:34:21.705 --> 00:34:23.640
And say, no, in jesus' name,
00:34:23.640 --> 00:34:24.741
Satan, you don't get to have my mind.
00:34:24.741 --> 00:34:26.276
That's right.
00:34:26.276 --> 00:34:27.043
You don't get to have my victory.
00:34:27.043 --> 00:34:28.145
You don't get to have who you've called me to be.
00:34:28.145 --> 00:34:30.280
And it was true that the more i was able to allow god to
00:34:30.280 --> 00:34:33.884
Reveal, the less shame there was, the less power there was
00:34:33.884 --> 00:34:38.121
In those moments, and the more victory i had in my ability to
00:34:38.121 --> 00:34:41.791
Walk in love, even with the people who had wounded me.
00:34:41.791 --> 00:34:44.294
Yeah, yeah.
00:34:44.294 --> 00:34:45.529
It's beautiful. it's powerful.
00:34:45.529 --> 00:34:48.832
Be the first to know all the latest better together updates.
00:34:48.832 --> 00:34:52.636
Visit bettertogether.tv to sign up for our weekly emails and
00:34:52.636 --> 00:34:56.673
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00:34:56.673 --> 00:34:59.992
It is amazing to me every time i share my story
00:35:03.247 --> 00:35:06.250
How many women and men are set free because they'll come up to
00:35:06.250 --> 00:35:09.987
Me afterwards if it's in a church and they'll be,
00:35:09.987 --> 00:35:12.056
I've never told anybody, but your story is my story.
00:35:12.056 --> 00:35:15.226
And there's freedom because you shared it.
00:35:15.226 --> 00:35:17.061
It just--
00:35:17.061 --> 00:35:18.296
When we share what god's done with us, it sheds light on
00:35:18.296 --> 00:35:20.865
Other people to feel free to do--
00:35:20.865 --> 00:35:23.367
Yeah. god never wastes surrendered pain.
00:35:23.367 --> 00:35:26.671
That's right.
00:35:26.671 --> 00:35:27.939
You know, when we give it to him, that takes the shame away.
00:35:27.939 --> 00:35:30.741
Yes.
00:35:30.741 --> 00:35:31.909
He was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised
00:35:31.909 --> 00:35:33.544
For our iniquities.
00:35:33.544 --> 00:35:34.679
Iniquities is the shame and the guilt of everything.
00:35:34.679 --> 00:35:37.515
So good. you know,
00:35:37.515 --> 00:35:38.683
And when you do shine a light on things, it frees you
00:35:38.683 --> 00:35:42.186
From your past.
00:35:42.186 --> 00:35:43.888
And what happens is, he says, i make all things new.
00:35:43.888 --> 00:35:47.658
And so this week we're all going forward.
00:35:47.658 --> 00:35:50.561
We're moving on. that's right.
00:35:50.561 --> 00:35:52.029
With god.
00:35:52.029 --> 00:35:52.763
So we're giving him the pain.
00:35:52.763 --> 00:35:54.031
We're surrendering that to him.
00:35:54.031 --> 00:35:56.000
And then he turns all of it around for our good, right?
00:35:56.000 --> 00:35:59.303
We've all heard your prison can become your platform.
00:35:59.303 --> 00:36:01.839
Your mess can become a message.
00:36:01.839 --> 00:36:03.341
All those little phrases.
00:36:03.341 --> 00:36:04.575
That's what god does, though.
00:36:04.575 --> 00:36:06.010
He redeems it, but it becomes a discipline.
00:36:06.010 --> 00:36:08.779
Yes. for us.
00:36:08.779 --> 00:36:09.981
That's right. so here's the lie.
00:36:09.981 --> 00:36:12.583
Here's the truth of what
00:36:12.583 --> 00:36:14.018
God's word-- yeah.
00:36:14.018 --> 00:36:15.119
You know, you're not enough.
00:36:15.119 --> 00:36:16.087
I think women struggle with
00:36:16.087 --> 00:36:17.588
Just basically you're not enough.
00:36:17.588 --> 00:36:19.090
You're not pretty enough.
00:36:19.090 --> 00:36:20.324
You're not talented enough, you're not organized enough.
00:36:20.324 --> 00:36:23.261
You're not all the nots.
00:36:23.261 --> 00:36:24.895
You're-- you don't deserve this.
00:36:24.895 --> 00:36:26.597
Not organic enough.
00:36:26.597 --> 00:36:27.665
Yeah. yeah, exactly.
00:36:27.665 --> 00:36:29.367
I never thought that. not healthy enough.
00:36:29.367 --> 00:36:31.235
You'll never get past this moment.
00:36:31.235 --> 00:36:33.271
God wants to free us from that moment.
00:36:33.271 --> 00:36:35.906
You know, those moments that the enemy of our soul would
00:36:35.906 --> 00:36:38.643
Love to keep us stuck in,
00:36:38.643 --> 00:36:40.378
But when god redeems it and he has already and we surrender
00:36:40.378 --> 00:36:44.749
That to him, we shine a light on that,
00:36:44.749 --> 00:36:47.551
That becomes such encouragement for people coming alongside.
00:36:47.551 --> 00:36:52.189
Yeah. and behind us. we're set free.
00:36:52.189 --> 00:36:54.292
To me is also so prophetic,
00:36:54.292 --> 00:36:56.394
One thing i've learned is that when you have a lot of trauma
00:36:56.394 --> 00:36:58.529
In your backstory, your story, like if you picture your life
00:36:58.529 --> 00:37:00.865
Story of pages of a book with no spines, they're just
00:37:00.865 --> 00:37:03.501
Floating in the air.
00:37:03.501 --> 00:37:04.769
Trauma compresses your story and suddenly you don't remember
00:37:04.769 --> 00:37:07.505
Your good memories anymore.
00:37:07.505 --> 00:37:08.839
And they do this with human trafficking victims to
00:37:08.839 --> 00:37:11.042
Help them heal,
00:37:11.042 --> 00:37:12.343
Is there like, if you can think of one memory, one redemptive
00:37:12.343 --> 00:37:15.313
Memory, because it actually does something in your brain to
00:37:15.313 --> 00:37:18.049
Remember it, where god was with you, where god was good, and it
00:37:18.049 --> 00:37:21.352
Unleashes just the capacity to remember other memories because
00:37:21.352 --> 00:37:24.889
Some think, well, to to move on
00:37:24.889 --> 00:37:27.158
Is to not even talk about my past,
00:37:27.158 --> 00:37:28.893
To act like i don't have a past. that's right.
00:37:28.893 --> 00:37:30.795
But part of true redemption, i think, is to
00:37:30.795 --> 00:37:33.064
Start remembering your good memories.
00:37:33.064 --> 00:37:34.632
Absolutely.
00:37:34.632 --> 00:37:35.333
Seeing jesus in your story.
00:37:35.333 --> 00:37:36.434
And then they decompress
00:37:36.434 --> 00:37:37.435
And then you can look at the hard ones and
00:37:37.435 --> 00:37:40.338
Surrender those to god.
00:37:40.338 --> 00:37:41.605
And then you can have a new narrative about those as well.
00:37:41.605 --> 00:37:43.741
But everybody has a backstory, and there's glory in it.
00:37:43.741 --> 00:37:47.745
I think i lived a lot of my life, um, discouraged when i
00:37:47.745 --> 00:37:53.250
Would feel feelings of pain or shame, uh, rejection kind of
00:37:53.250 --> 00:37:59.590
Come back up.
00:37:59.590 --> 00:38:00.891
And i used to think that that was kind of, um, that it would
00:38:00.891 --> 00:38:03.227
Kind of set me back right in the journey of my faith and my
00:38:03.227 --> 00:38:06.697
Healing and my growth, right?
00:38:06.697 --> 00:38:07.965
So my spiritual maturity and my emotional maturity would be
00:38:07.965 --> 00:38:10.134
Challenged by that.
00:38:10.134 --> 00:38:11.535
Um, and i would go to god and he would always say to me,
00:38:11.535 --> 00:38:14.138
Listen, just because you are feeling these things does not
00:38:14.138 --> 00:38:17.074
Mean that you are not healing from these things.
00:38:17.074 --> 00:38:19.877
I think for us, it's important to remember that our feelings
00:38:19.877 --> 00:38:22.613
Are an indicator, right?
00:38:22.613 --> 00:38:24.415
But our feelings cannot inform our faith.
00:38:24.415 --> 00:38:26.884
Our faith is what drives us and moves us forward.
00:38:26.884 --> 00:38:29.453
And so if those feelings come up for you,
00:38:29.453 --> 00:38:31.088
If you are in a
00:38:31.088 --> 00:38:33.424
Strong season of faith and you're like, man, i cannot
00:38:33.424 --> 00:38:35.726
Believe i got triggered by that thing, or the enemy kind of
00:38:35.726 --> 00:38:38.729
Brought this thing back up,
00:38:38.729 --> 00:38:39.897
Remember that the lord sometimes will allow things to
00:38:39.897 --> 00:38:42.400
Come back up so that we can heal from them.
00:38:42.400 --> 00:38:44.635
So be encouraged.
00:38:44.635 --> 00:38:45.936
Know that in the midst of your spiritual faith journey, you're
00:38:45.936 --> 00:38:48.272
Going to have moments where you feel like, man, i've taken two
00:38:48.272 --> 00:38:50.875
Steps back, but god is saying, no, no, listen. sometimes it's
00:38:50.875 --> 00:38:53.744
Necessary to take a few steps back.
00:38:53.744 --> 00:38:56.013
Heal. remember who you are, and then you keep moving forward
00:38:56.013 --> 00:38:58.649
Even more healed with him.
00:38:58.649 --> 00:39:01.118
Well, you know that anxiety--
00:39:01.118 --> 00:39:02.953
So all that brings anxiety, right?
00:39:02.953 --> 00:39:05.489
All of the past and all the stuff that happens to us in
00:39:05.489 --> 00:39:08.826
Your life is anxiety.
00:39:08.826 --> 00:39:10.394
Well, anxiety is always attached to the past and it's
00:39:10.394 --> 00:39:14.331
Always attached to the future. so good.
00:39:14.331 --> 00:39:16.767
But gratitude-- yes.
00:39:16.767 --> 00:39:19.303
And remembering the good things of god and being thankful
00:39:19.303 --> 00:39:22.706
Keeps me present.
00:39:22.706 --> 00:39:24.008
That's right, that's right.
00:39:24.008 --> 00:39:24.909
Keeps me in the here and now.
00:39:24.909 --> 00:39:26.410
Keeps me moving forward is my grateful heart.
00:39:26.410 --> 00:39:29.447
And that becomes a, it's a discipline.
00:39:29.447 --> 00:39:31.715
Yes, absolutely.
00:39:31.715 --> 00:39:32.783
And that's what paul said,
00:39:32.783 --> 00:39:33.951
Be anxious for nothing, but with everything,
00:39:33.951 --> 00:39:36.053
Prayer and supplication with thanksgiving.
00:39:36.053 --> 00:39:39.089
Yeah. and here's paul in prison when he's writing this.
00:39:39.089 --> 00:39:43.327
And he said, then you will be connected to peace.
00:39:43.327 --> 00:39:46.530
I remember the exact wording.
00:39:46.530 --> 00:39:47.631
You know what i'm saying?
00:39:47.631 --> 00:39:48.299
So he's chained to a roman
00:39:48.299 --> 00:39:49.366
Guard and then god's like, no, no.
00:39:49.366 --> 00:39:51.802
Now you're going to be connected to peace.
00:39:51.802 --> 00:39:54.438
Yes. but that thanksgiving, to me, that was one of the biggest
00:39:54.438 --> 00:39:57.508
Things for my healing and redemption of god
00:39:57.508 --> 00:40:00.377
Redeeming that story was just daily,
00:40:00.377 --> 00:40:02.613
What am i thankful for?
00:40:02.613 --> 00:40:04.181
And that's what neuroplasticity is in our brain.
00:40:04.181 --> 00:40:07.351
Like, you can go south or you can go north.
00:40:07.351 --> 00:40:10.254
Like today, you can be thinking about all the things in the
00:40:10.254 --> 00:40:13.123
Past, or you can shift and start thanking god for how
00:40:13.123 --> 00:40:16.360
You're still here and you're breathing.
00:40:16.360 --> 00:40:17.728
And all of a sudden you're having conversations in your
00:40:17.728 --> 00:40:20.130
Head that you're never going to have.
00:40:20.130 --> 00:40:21.699
That's right.
00:40:21.699 --> 00:40:22.833
You know, you're rehearsing, you're replaying, you're
00:40:22.833 --> 00:40:25.202
Giving life to it because you're replaying and you're--
00:40:25.202 --> 00:40:27.571
You've got to stop because nobody,
00:40:27.571 --> 00:40:30.541
Nobody has the power of what i think about.
00:40:30.541 --> 00:40:32.576
Exactly.
00:40:32.576 --> 00:40:33.277
Except me. that's right.
00:40:33.277 --> 00:40:34.445
So it's my choice today.
00:40:34.445 --> 00:40:35.946
So am i going to be free in the word of god and say, no,
00:40:35.946 --> 00:40:39.583
I get to cast down all of that?
00:40:39.583 --> 00:40:41.318
I don't have to think about that.
00:40:41.318 --> 00:40:43.120
I can think that i am the loved of the lord and that he has
00:40:43.120 --> 00:40:46.290
Good plans for me, and that the old is gone and the new has
00:40:46.290 --> 00:40:49.560
Come, and i'm going to live in that moment, you know.
00:40:49.560 --> 00:40:52.463
So it's a choice of our, of our will.
00:40:52.463 --> 00:40:55.599
So i don't think you can just stop negative thoughts. the way
00:40:55.599 --> 00:41:00.004
Our brain functions, you have to replace them.
00:41:00.004 --> 00:41:02.640
In fact, that's what science calls neuroplasticity.
00:41:02.640 --> 00:41:06.010
And that simply means that whatever thought you keep
00:41:06.010 --> 00:41:08.812
Repeating or ruminating on
00:41:08.812 --> 00:41:11.282
Almost becomes like a neural pathway.
00:41:11.282 --> 00:41:13.384
And so that's why sometimes you can be thinking negative
00:41:13.384 --> 00:41:15.519
Thoughts and you're like, i can't stop.
00:41:15.519 --> 00:41:17.288
Well, you can't just stop them.
00:41:17.288 --> 00:41:18.522
You have to replace it with truth.
00:41:18.522 --> 00:41:20.291
And so it is actually exercising this ability to
00:41:20.291 --> 00:41:25.162
Declare god's truth over your life.
00:41:25.162 --> 00:41:26.997
And i can't tell you enough how essential that is.
00:41:26.997 --> 00:41:30.034
It can't be somebody else declaring it over you,
00:41:30.034 --> 00:41:32.202
Although that's helpful.
00:41:32.202 --> 00:41:33.437
It's got to be you declaring it over you, you taking the
00:41:33.437 --> 00:41:36.206
Ownership of what's running through your brain.
00:41:36.206 --> 00:41:38.642
And so we have the choice, positive or negative.
00:41:38.642 --> 00:41:41.312
Well, i choose positive.
00:41:41.312 --> 00:41:42.513
I'm going to speak what god speaks.
00:41:42.513 --> 00:41:44.114
And is it a process?
00:41:44.114 --> 00:41:45.215
Yes. is it done overnight?
00:41:45.215 --> 00:41:47.851
No. usually it's going to take several days, weeks, and months
00:41:47.851 --> 00:41:51.555
Before all of a sudden that becomes a new neural pathway
00:41:51.555 --> 00:41:54.692
That becomes natural to you.
00:41:54.692 --> 00:41:56.327
So i can't encourage you enough.
00:41:56.327 --> 00:41:58.062
Repeat the positive of what god speaks over you and watch how
00:41:58.062 --> 00:42:03.968
God begins to transform your life.
00:42:03.968 --> 00:42:06.904
One of the things the lord said to me about freedom, this was
00:42:06.904 --> 00:42:09.540
Really important for me, was i think i waited a long time
00:42:09.540 --> 00:42:12.343
To feel free. yeah.
00:42:12.343 --> 00:42:14.178
And you know, romans 6:22, there was this reminder that i may
00:42:14.178 --> 00:42:18.115
Not feel free, but i am free, right?
00:42:18.115 --> 00:42:20.551
So freedom, freedom is positional before it is
00:42:20.551 --> 00:42:23.020
Experiential, right?
00:42:23.020 --> 00:42:24.288
You're not going to experience freedom right away, but your
00:42:24.288 --> 00:42:26.457
Position is free.
00:42:26.457 --> 00:42:27.925
Like free as daughter. free as co-heir.
00:42:27.925 --> 00:42:30.394
And so he had to say like, hey, alexandra, you may not feel
00:42:30.394 --> 00:42:33.297
Free today from that particular moment in your life,
00:42:33.297 --> 00:42:35.833
But in me you are.
00:42:35.833 --> 00:42:37.368
And so i had to consistently remind myself what moves me
00:42:37.368 --> 00:42:39.770
Forward is my position in christ, is my position in the
00:42:39.770 --> 00:42:43.040
Kingdom of god.
00:42:43.040 --> 00:42:44.308
And it helped me kind of reorient my feelings.
00:42:44.308 --> 00:42:47.011
Like, if i didn't feel free
00:42:47.011 --> 00:42:48.012
Today, it didn't mean i wasn't free.
00:42:48.012 --> 00:42:49.580
Yeah, because feelings don't have brains.
00:42:49.580 --> 00:42:51.148
They don't have brains.
00:42:51.148 --> 00:42:52.416
But so often we think we allow the feelings to come in and
00:42:52.416 --> 00:42:54.852
Influence everything. right.
00:42:54.852 --> 00:42:56.320
Whereas i'd rather depend on is the covenantal love of god.
00:42:56.320 --> 00:43:01.625
Steadfast, faithful love of god that never changes.
00:43:01.625 --> 00:43:05.162
You know, even thinking about the love of god.
00:43:05.162 --> 00:43:07.798
When you ask me, like, what changed for me walking in rooms
00:43:07.798 --> 00:43:10.000
And being able to walk in that identity and freedom,
00:43:10.000 --> 00:43:12.603
It just is the love of god. yeah.
00:43:12.603 --> 00:43:14.538
I mean, to put it just as simply like at the end of the
00:43:14.538 --> 00:43:16.907
Day, it was the love that that transformed me, that
00:43:16.907 --> 00:43:20.978
Redeemed me, that set me free, that healed me, that was able
00:43:20.978 --> 00:43:24.381
To look back with me in the moments that felt incredibly
00:43:24.381 --> 00:43:27.384
Overwhelming, incredibly painful, and say, i was with
00:43:27.384 --> 00:43:30.120
You from the very beginning of
00:43:30.120 --> 00:43:31.188
This and my heart breaks for you.
00:43:31.188 --> 00:43:32.923
And i think what helped me move forward too, and get unstuck
00:43:32.923 --> 00:43:35.526
Was remembering, and this was important that, you know, i'd
00:43:35.526 --> 00:43:38.562
Always asked the question like, god, where were you?
00:43:38.562 --> 00:43:40.564
Yeah, i think we, we kind of stay in the season of stuck and
00:43:40.564 --> 00:43:45.202
Lack the ability because we're
00:43:45.202 --> 00:43:46.403
Still trying to find that closure.
00:43:46.403 --> 00:43:48.672
Yeah.
00:43:48.672 --> 00:43:49.907
And trying to ask god, like, where were you when he spoke
00:43:49.907 --> 00:43:52.509
Such sweetness and gentleness over me.
00:43:52.509 --> 00:43:54.511
And i remember the words kind of falling over me in one of
00:43:54.511 --> 00:43:57.314
The hardest seasons in my life where i just didn't believe
00:43:57.314 --> 00:43:59.249
That he was there. yeah.
00:43:59.249 --> 00:44:00.884
And it's hard to reconcile the goodness of god
00:44:00.884 --> 00:44:03.520
With pain, right?
00:44:03.520 --> 00:44:04.788
Like we're asking women to move forward, but they're looking
00:44:04.788 --> 00:44:07.091
Back and they're saying, all right, fine, but help me here.
00:44:07.091 --> 00:44:09.426
Yeah. because that was
00:44:09.426 --> 00:44:10.294
Traumatic and incredibly painful.
00:44:10.294 --> 00:44:12.362
And so i want to say, you know, for the women who are, who are,
00:44:12.362 --> 00:44:14.732
Who are experiencing that and
00:44:14.732 --> 00:44:15.999
Feeling that like, where was god--
00:44:15.999 --> 00:44:17.601
Yeah. god was not only with you, but his heart broke every
00:44:17.601 --> 00:44:22.239
Moment that broke you.
00:44:22.239 --> 00:44:23.807
That's right.
00:44:23.807 --> 00:44:25.075
And he sent his son jesus to die and redeem that, that very
00:44:25.075 --> 00:44:27.511
Moment that you can't make sense of, like jesus died
00:44:27.511 --> 00:44:30.013
To redeem that. right.
00:44:30.013 --> 00:44:31.515
And when he said that to me, he said, like i died, i, i shed
00:44:31.515 --> 00:44:34.251
Blood for that moment for you. yeah.
00:44:34.251 --> 00:44:36.620
My tears were wept with you. when you grieved,
00:44:36.620 --> 00:44:39.089
I grieved. when you broke,
00:44:39.089 --> 00:44:40.657
I was broken for you.
00:44:40.657 --> 00:44:42.025
Yeah. and then all of a sudden.
00:44:42.025 --> 00:44:43.360
Jesus became a shepherd to me.
00:44:43.360 --> 00:44:45.562
Yeah. right.
00:44:45.562 --> 00:44:46.530
And a father and a friend and a counselor.
00:44:46.530 --> 00:44:48.298
And i was able to move forward with confidence that he'd
00:44:48.298 --> 00:44:51.135
Always been there.
00:44:51.135 --> 00:44:52.936
It's really crazy
00:44:52.936 --> 00:44:54.004
To hear that i am a survivor of sexual abuse.
00:44:54.004 --> 00:44:56.140
It took a long time for me to get there, and as a 36 year old
00:44:56.140 --> 00:45:00.410
Woman, i still have a lot of shame
00:45:00.410 --> 00:45:02.613
Sometimes that comes up for me.
00:45:02.613 --> 00:45:03.881
And so i want to be honest with you that it's not something
00:45:03.881 --> 00:45:05.616
That is easy for me still.
00:45:05.616 --> 00:45:07.785
But i do want to encourage you in the midst of even my own
00:45:07.785 --> 00:45:10.220
Seasons where it feels difficult to reconcile the pain
00:45:10.220 --> 00:45:14.158
And the memories.
00:45:14.158 --> 00:45:15.592
I want to encourage you to remember that god is, in fact,
00:45:15.592 --> 00:45:18.262
Doing a new thing, even in the midst of our memories, and even
00:45:18.262 --> 00:45:21.265
In the midst of the pain that we endured at the hands of
00:45:21.265 --> 00:45:24.501
Somebody who didn't deserve to do that to us.
00:45:24.501 --> 00:45:27.471
And we didn't deserve to go through that either.
00:45:27.471 --> 00:45:29.973
And so be encouraged today, for i know that the lord can take
00:45:29.973 --> 00:45:32.876
Even the worst of moments, the worst of your memories, the
00:45:32.876 --> 00:45:36.180
Most of the things that we can't reconcile and know that
00:45:36.180 --> 00:45:39.283
They've been reconciled at the foot of the cross.
00:45:39.283 --> 00:45:41.084
That's something i want to speak to, and i'll unpack it
00:45:41.084 --> 00:45:43.287
A little bit.
00:45:43.287 --> 00:45:44.521
Um, women used to always say to me like, well, how can i
00:45:44.521 --> 00:45:46.456
Reconcile this really terrible thing?
00:45:46.456 --> 00:45:49.293
I would go to god and say, how can i reconcile this
00:45:49.293 --> 00:45:51.495
Really ugly thing?
00:45:51.495 --> 00:45:53.030
And he said to me, i want you to look at the cross and know
00:45:53.030 --> 00:45:56.099
That the things that have happened to you, i took care of
00:45:56.099 --> 00:45:59.436
When i died for you, and i took care of even the person that
00:45:59.436 --> 00:46:02.773
Wounded us, which is so difficult.
00:46:02.773 --> 00:46:04.775
So know that the lord has you, friend.
00:46:04.775 --> 00:46:07.211
He's covering you and he's healing you even when you feel
00:46:07.211 --> 00:46:09.413
Like he may not be.
00:46:09.413 --> 00:46:11.448
I think we get so upset with god because we think, why did
00:46:11.448 --> 00:46:15.352
He allow that to happen?
00:46:15.352 --> 00:46:16.720
Yeah, and i'm sure they're asking that question, right?
00:46:16.720 --> 00:46:18.889
Yeah. because we all know good and well that god would
00:46:18.889 --> 00:46:21.491
Do us no wrong.
00:46:21.491 --> 00:46:22.793
God will never do us wrong.
00:46:22.793 --> 00:46:24.595
That's right.
00:46:24.595 --> 00:46:25.329
But yet we want to accuse him.
00:46:25.329 --> 00:46:26.463
Why did you let it happen?
00:46:26.463 --> 00:46:27.965
Where were you?
00:46:27.965 --> 00:46:28.799
All those things.
00:46:28.799 --> 00:46:29.833
And he says, my grace is sufficient for you.
00:46:29.833 --> 00:46:33.103
My grace will cover, you know.
00:46:33.103 --> 00:46:34.905
And so he,
00:46:34.905 --> 00:46:35.639
He gives us everything we need.
00:46:35.639 --> 00:46:38.008
Yeah. to where we can't--
00:46:38.008 --> 00:46:39.643
God's the last person we should ever be mad at.
00:46:39.643 --> 00:46:42.012
Right? he's the one that we run to for healing
00:46:42.012 --> 00:46:44.114
For everything.
00:46:44.114 --> 00:46:45.382
Yeah. you know, because he's got, he's got the best for us.
00:46:45.382 --> 00:46:48.452
Yeah. i love the way
00:46:48.452 --> 00:46:50.020
God will go back into our past and redeem moments.
00:46:50.020 --> 00:46:53.156
One of my most shameful moments, when i was 12 years
00:46:53.156 --> 00:46:55.559
Old and about to graduate from elementary school and
00:46:55.559 --> 00:46:57.728
Go to high school,
00:46:57.728 --> 00:46:59.029
It was a senior dance, and the fashion that year was for these
00:46:59.029 --> 00:47:02.132
Little straight dresses.
00:47:02.132 --> 00:47:03.500
I mean, it was just short, straight dresses.
00:47:03.500 --> 00:47:05.936
And i knew my mom could not
00:47:05.936 --> 00:47:07.070
Afford-- you know, she was a widow.
00:47:07.070 --> 00:47:08.605
She worked on a widow's pension.
00:47:08.605 --> 00:47:09.973
I knew she couldn't afford a new dress, so i just decided
00:47:09.973 --> 00:47:12.242
I wouldn't go.
00:47:12.242 --> 00:47:13.710
And then i came home from school one day and she said,
00:47:13.710 --> 00:47:15.679
Sheila, i got you a dress.
00:47:15.679 --> 00:47:17.981
And i was so excited.
00:47:17.981 --> 00:47:19.016
I ran upstairs and it was so the wrong dress.
00:47:19.016 --> 00:47:23.320
It was like sticky outy with a big bow in the back.
00:47:23.320 --> 00:47:27.257
I still remember it was blue with little white cornflowers
00:47:27.257 --> 00:47:29.626
On it and it was so wrong.
00:47:29.626 --> 00:47:31.628
But i remember thinking, what can i do?
00:47:31.628 --> 00:47:33.330
And i went downstairs and i said to my mom, it's perfect,
00:47:33.330 --> 00:47:35.866
I love it.
00:47:35.866 --> 00:47:37.334
So on the night of the dance, i got dressed in this horrible
00:47:37.334 --> 00:47:40.103
Dress, and i took the back way to the school, and i stayed in
00:47:40.103 --> 00:47:44.107
The field behind the school for the whole of the dance.
00:47:44.107 --> 00:47:46.543
And i watched my friends go in and they were all wearing
00:47:46.543 --> 00:47:49.279
The right dress.
00:47:49.279 --> 00:47:50.814
And i just stayed there.
00:47:50.814 --> 00:47:52.015
And then maybe, i don't know, 10:00, i went home and
00:47:52.015 --> 00:47:54.651
Basically lied and told my mom had had a great time.
00:47:54.651 --> 00:47:57.487
But at that moment, that image stuck with me for years.
00:47:57.487 --> 00:48:01.058
And then not so many years ago, i had this dream.
00:48:01.058 --> 00:48:04.294
And i don't get a lot of dreams or visions,
00:48:04.294 --> 00:48:07.331
But i'm having this dream and i'm with the lord, and i'm
00:48:07.331 --> 00:48:11.868
Young and i'm in a field and i'm like, oh no,
00:48:11.868 --> 00:48:14.504
I've got that dress on.
00:48:14.504 --> 00:48:16.974
But in that moment, i felt him taking me by the hands
00:48:16.974 --> 00:48:19.977
And swinging me around. oh.
00:48:19.977 --> 00:48:22.045
And we're both laughing.
00:48:22.045 --> 00:48:23.947
And i thought, gosh, you were with me in that field.
00:48:23.947 --> 00:48:26.984
I wasn't by myself at all.
00:48:26.984 --> 00:48:28.452
You were right there.
00:48:28.452 --> 00:48:29.753
Beautiful. i love that.
00:48:29.753 --> 00:48:31.688
I love how god does that.
00:48:31.688 --> 00:48:33.390
I know. to the point of like when we ask why--
00:48:33.390 --> 00:48:36.727
I mean, god said to me, why
00:48:36.727 --> 00:48:38.161
Don't you ask what rather than why?
00:48:38.161 --> 00:48:40.964
What do you want to do?
00:48:40.964 --> 00:48:42.132
What do i want to do with whatever you walk through?
00:48:42.132 --> 00:48:44.368
Because when we sit in the pain, we lose sight of the fact,
00:48:44.368 --> 00:48:47.871
I'm a testimony.
00:48:47.871 --> 00:48:48.739
I think each one of us are.
00:48:48.739 --> 00:48:50.040
God heals that pain, restores it, and you're stronger, now,
00:48:50.040 --> 00:48:55.278
Why it happened, i don't know, except for now,
00:48:55.278 --> 00:48:57.981
The what,
00:48:57.981 --> 00:48:59.182
I get to share that story everywhere and the healing
00:48:59.182 --> 00:49:01.318
And the restoration,
00:49:01.318 --> 00:49:03.020
I now have a really tender heart towards anybody else that
00:49:03.020 --> 00:49:06.757
Has ever walked through anything that is even slightly
00:49:06.757 --> 00:49:09.693
Close to what i did.
00:49:09.693 --> 00:49:10.761
I have compassion. i think at
00:49:10.761 --> 00:49:13.697
The end of the day, it costs something.
00:49:13.697 --> 00:49:16.066
But what god gave me far
00:49:16.066 --> 00:49:17.768
Exceeds what i could have ever imagined.
00:49:17.768 --> 00:49:21.605
So beautiful.
00:49:21.605 --> 00:49:22.606
I can't believe i'm sitting here right now.
00:49:22.606 --> 00:49:25.008
Yeah, absolutely.
00:49:25.008 --> 00:49:25.909
It's going to be a great week. it is.
00:49:25.909 --> 00:49:28.245
I feel like this is just god wants his daughters and his
00:49:28.245 --> 00:49:31.148
Sons to be able to move on.
00:49:31.148 --> 00:49:32.716
So let's pray. yes.
00:49:32.716 --> 00:49:35.452
Father, each one of us here and those who are joining us, lord,
00:49:35.452 --> 00:49:39.790
This community of faith, we're so grateful for you.
00:49:39.790 --> 00:49:43.627
Thank you, lord, for the way
00:49:43.627 --> 00:49:45.362
That you didn't leave us in our brokenness.
00:49:45.362 --> 00:49:48.632
But you came and you experienced everything that we
00:49:48.632 --> 00:49:51.601
Experience, yet without sinning.
00:49:51.601 --> 00:49:54.171
You walk through everything betrayal, temptation,
00:49:54.171 --> 00:49:56.640
Whatever it was,
00:49:56.640 --> 00:49:58.175
Pain that we'll never understand, so that we could
00:49:58.175 --> 00:50:01.445
Find a way back home to our father.
00:50:01.445 --> 00:50:04.114
So, lord, as five sisters right now, we pray for every single
00:50:04.114 --> 00:50:07.717
Person who is watching, who is struggling with their past, who
00:50:07.717 --> 00:50:11.621
Thinks that somehow their past disqualifies them from being
00:50:11.621 --> 00:50:14.925
Fully present right now.
00:50:14.925 --> 00:50:17.160
Lord, i ask that by your holy spirit that you would speak
00:50:17.160 --> 00:50:21.131
Into their lives right now and
00:50:21.131 --> 00:50:22.933
Let them know that we are forgiven.
00:50:22.933 --> 00:50:25.135
We are free.
00:50:25.135 --> 00:50:26.269
We are loved.
00:50:26.269 --> 00:50:27.304
We are seen, we are held.
00:50:27.304 --> 00:50:29.739
And you say to us, you are mine.
00:50:29.739 --> 00:50:33.210
In jesus' name, amen. amen.
00:50:33.210 --> 00:50:38.148
Connect with us on social media and let us know how
00:50:38.148 --> 00:50:40.517
Our team can pray for you.
00:50:40.517 --> 00:50:42.185
Stream full episodes of better together on demand.
00:50:45.589 --> 00:50:49.326
Go to bettertogether.tv to
00:50:49.326 --> 00:50:51.328
Stream all of our latest conversations.
00:50:51.328 --> 00:50:53.497
♪♪
00:50:53.497 --> 00:50:53.497

Let God Redeem Your Past | Better Together Episode 1156

April 20, 2026 | S8 E1156 | 50:59

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