Your walk of faith is a road map for the next generation! How we choose to face life's challenges can become demonstrations of generosity, vulnerability, and grace. May our stories become monuments to God's goodness and faithfulness to all to see. | TBN Prayer Line: 714-731-1000
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Better Together | Raising a Virtuous Generation - Episode 1095 | September 12, 2025
- Laurie crouch: we are called to raise up the next generation.
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- Today we're sharing our prayers for a virtuous generation that
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- Will know god and go farther in faith than we could
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- Ever imagine.
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- Come on, join us.
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- ♪♪♪
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- Blynda lane: i love that today we're gonna be talking about the
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- Next generation and how who we are and what we've learned and
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- How we walk this out actually impacts generations beyond us.
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- It's so sweet when i feel like i get the opportunity to talk
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- About my family or my kids because i'm just so blessed
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- By them.
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- So we have three kids and our oldest is 25, almost 25 i
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- Should say.
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- She's been married a couple of years and in october, i will be
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- A grandmother.
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- Toni collier: oh, we knew what you were gonna say, that big
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- Ol' smile.
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- Blynda: i know, i know, a little baby boy.
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- And just so sweet and then i've got a son who is graduating from
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- College in december and then i have a daughter who's a
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- Sophomore in college.
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- And so i've got very different things when we talk about
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- Applying proverbs 31.
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- I have a daughter who--not that i'm not her parent anymore, but
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- I have had the privilege of watching her grow into this
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- Virtuous woman who chose very well, has an amazing godly
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- Husband, and is now starting her family.
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- And as a parent, how rewarding that is to get to see the whole
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- Journey and kind of the culmination of everything i
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- Would have prayed for happened.
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- Now i've got a son, he is in a season where he's still trying
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- To figure out what next is for him, was in a relationship that
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- Ended and he thought was gonna be a future relationship and it
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- Ended up not being.
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- And so he's kind of getting himself back on his feet,
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- Figuring out what is next.
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- And i wouldn't necessarily include him in the story except
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- We started out the week talking about that, really, all of
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- Proverbs 31 is the mom talking to her son.
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- And so i'm including him because there's so much about this that
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- I'm prayerful for him.
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- And then i've got a daughter who is just because of her age she's
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- Not dating anybody, she's not at the place to think about her
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- Future marriage.
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- I mean, i guess she's probably thinking about it, but she
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- Doesn't know who that is or whatever.
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- So i have these kind of three different stages i can look at
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- As a parent.
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- And say one parenting never ends.
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- I mean, even though i've got one child who's about to have a baby
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- Of her own, parenting never ends.
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- As a mom i am always carrying her and her family in my heart.
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- So one, the task we're given as moms, it doesn't ever end.
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- But what is so sweet, i think when we're thinking about the
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- Next generation, is we have all of these hopes and dreams that
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- We placed before the lord when he gives us these
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- Beautiful children.
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- And we know that it's going to come with some tough times,
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- Maybe on their own doing, they may make some bad choices,
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- Whatever that is, there's just a myriad of ways that their life
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- Could go.
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- But what we know as thinking about this proverbs 31, i think
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- About this mother, and she was what it says here in the first
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- Couple of scriptures.
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- It says, "the sayings of king lemuel, an oracle his mother
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- Taught him."
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- And it just makes me realize how important the role of mom is and
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- What is going to happen in the next generation, how we see the
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- Next generation rise up.
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- And so i'm putting this beautiful story of my kids and
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- Having them at different places and still believing god for
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- Every part of their life even though they're at different
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- Places, knowing god has a great story for them.
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- Sheila walsh: from the moment that i discovered i was
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- Pregnant, i began to pray for this little lamb.
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- And once i discovered that it was a boy, barry and i went to
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- Like a big bookstore and we were looking through all these books
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- About names, you know, for children and you know, all these
- 00:04:07.326 --> 00:04:09.761
- Fancy different names.
- 00:04:09.761 --> 00:04:11.363
- But then i found this one copy, children's edition of "pilgrim's
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- Progress" by bunyan.
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- I don't know if you've ever read it, it's a great book, but this
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- Is just a children's version.
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- But i loved the fact that the boy was called christian.
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- And so i bought the book that night and i wrote in the front
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- Of it, "christian, this book is for you because i want you to
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- Understand you're on a journey.
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- Your dad and i will walk beside you, and we will love you, but
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- We want you to know you have a father who will always be with
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- You through the best days and the worst days.
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- And when you fall down, just get back up again.
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- And when you need help, ask for help.
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- And when you want to laugh until you want to fall apart, do that.
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- But life is an adventure and god is with you all the way."
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- Blynda: i'm equaling that with how i kind of have another baby
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- Of our own in a way that the church that we have attended for
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- A couple of years just in december, january, the lord
- 00:05:06.785 --> 00:05:09.755
- Placed it on our heart that there was a real gap in
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- The church.
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- It's a decent-sized church, about 2,500, but they just
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- Didn't have a strong young adults ministry.
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- The lord just put it on me and my husband's heart that we, you
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- Know, it's one of these things about being a believer is when
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- You see a gap or a hole, you need to pray about it if you're
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- Seeing it because god's giving you eyes to see it.
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- And he was giving us the eyes to see it because we were going to
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- Be the ones to help fill it.
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- And that's a big undertaking.
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- So we are currently on staff taking over the young adults
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- Ministry, just temporarily while they find a permanent pastor,
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- But when i say it's a baby, it is like an entire separate job
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- To, i mean it's a huge undertaking and it's been some
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- Of the most joy we have felt in so long.
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- Because it's so purposeful because we are seeing the next
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- Generation impacted.
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- And so i think it's important when we talk about all of what
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- Virtuous living is and we keep looking at am i checking off
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- The list, am i being the virtuous woman?
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- And the idea really is none of that matters whenever the very
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- Last scripture says verse 31, give her the reward she
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- Has earned.
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- It makes me wonder if we were to think about that in terms of our
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- Legacy, the next generation.
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- Give her the reward she has earned.
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- Does that mean we get the reward which would all of these
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- Characteristics and all of this idea that we talked about, even
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- If it's figuratively, all of that is for praise for me.
- 00:06:40.745 --> 00:06:45.383
- Well that's gonna feel empty, at least for me it would, but if
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- There's something about the character that i live my life
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- With impacted people beyond me, that starts feeling really worth
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- It to me.
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- And there is such an excitement in this.
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- That generation, y'all, let me just tell you, they
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- Authentically pursue, they go after the lord hard.
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- They go after the lord hard and i'm sitting there thinking i
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- Feel privileged to be a part of what they're doing like
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- It's amazing.
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- Blynda: i believe there's four ways that we can encourage the
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- Next generation to pursue god in virtuous living.
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- I think the first one, obviously, is going to be
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- Anchoring them in the word of god.
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- That i believe it's so important that bible literacy go to the
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- Next generation, that's kind of a big word, but basically it
- 00:07:31.363 --> 00:07:33.899
- Just means are we doing what we can to make sure the next
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- Generation understands the value of the word of god?
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- Not just the value, but truly like understanding that it is
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- Their lifeline, it is what will help map out the course of their
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- Life for them.
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- So getting them into the work, that would be the first thing.
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- The second one is really cultivating grace and truth in
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- Their hearts and minds, understanding that the world we
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- Live in is going to be throwing at them a lot of what they call
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- Truth and how can they discern truth?
- 00:08:01.860 --> 00:08:04.162
- And it actually goes out to my first point.
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- Do they know the word?
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- Because it's going to be hard to discern truth from falsities and
- 00:08:07.532 --> 00:08:11.469
- Falsehood if they don't know the word of god.
- 00:08:11.469 --> 00:08:14.005
- But then also encouraging them to live a life of grace.
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- That they exude the grace of god to others.
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- The third thing i would say is, are they building
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- Spiritual community?
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- I think it is so important.
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- We're working with young adults at our church and this is what i
- 00:08:27.018 --> 00:08:29.354
- Know, that age group, that next generation, they will
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- Build community.
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- It's just a matter of where will they build it?
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- And i want to be a part of encouraging them to build
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- Spiritual community.
- 00:08:38.964 --> 00:08:40.532
- Finding a church that they can go deep in, that they can get
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- Rooted in, that they can serve in because i believe when you're
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- Connected to the local church, it affects every area of
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- Your life.
- 00:08:50.041 --> 00:08:51.776
- Show me somebody who says they're on fire for the lord but
- 00:08:51.776 --> 00:08:54.746
- Doesn't get connected to their local church, and i say in about
- 00:08:54.746 --> 00:08:58.016
- Five years they're probably not walking with the lord.
- 00:08:58.016 --> 00:09:01.620
- You have to stay in community, especially in that
- 00:09:01.620 --> 00:09:05.056
- Next generation.
- 00:09:05.056 --> 00:09:06.424
- And then the final thing that i would encourage if i could speak
- 00:09:06.424 --> 00:09:09.594
- To a young adult or the next generation, i would say pursue
- 00:09:09.594 --> 00:09:12.897
- God's gifting and calling on your life, like really spend
- 00:09:12.897 --> 00:09:16.134
- Time with the lord asking him what is the gifting that i have,
- 00:09:16.134 --> 00:09:19.437
- What is the calling on my life?
- 00:09:19.437 --> 00:09:21.272
- And i heard somebody say it the other day and it was so good.
- 00:09:21.272 --> 00:09:24.709
- They said the best way to find your calling in life is to ask
- 00:09:24.709 --> 00:09:29.114
- God what is the cry that i hear?
- 00:09:29.114 --> 00:09:32.717
- Because when you lean in and ask what the cry is, you'll hear
- 00:09:32.717 --> 00:09:37.088
- God's heart for something and your heart will be moved to do
- 00:09:37.088 --> 00:09:40.792
- That thing.
- 00:09:40.792 --> 00:09:42.160
- So ask him what is the gifting and calling?
- 00:09:42.160 --> 00:09:43.628
- So these would be the things that i would want the next
- 00:09:43.628 --> 00:09:46.231
- Generation to be pursuing.
- 00:09:46.231 --> 00:09:48.433
- Blynda: but i just wonder how much of what we do in our life
- 00:09:48.433 --> 00:09:53.405
- To live by the principles and character that god has spoken in
- 00:09:53.405 --> 00:09:56.708
- These scriptures is really for what we leave behind when we're
- 00:09:56.708 --> 00:10:01.046
- Out of here?
- 00:10:01.046 --> 00:10:02.380
- What have we done to pour into the next generation?
- 00:10:02.380 --> 00:10:04.949
- So i just wanna talk about that today.
- 00:10:04.949 --> 00:10:06.284
- I wanna talk about how does it go beyond us into
- 00:10:06.284 --> 00:10:09.621
- Something else?
- 00:10:09.621 --> 00:10:10.989
- Toni: i really loved it.
- 00:10:10.989 --> 00:10:12.323
- My youth pastor heart is just like bursting.
- 00:10:12.323 --> 00:10:13.958
- I love young adults, i love the next generation, i always have.
- 00:10:13.958 --> 00:10:17.195
- But i like them because they're just raw.
- 00:10:17.195 --> 00:10:19.698
- They're honest, they're open, they're authentic, they tell you
- 00:10:19.698 --> 00:10:22.300
- Like it is, like there's just no fluff with them, and i love that
- 00:10:22.300 --> 00:10:25.670
- So very much.
- 00:10:25.670 --> 00:10:27.005
- I remember reading a book when i was working at north point
- 00:10:27.005 --> 00:10:29.574
- Ministries under andy stanley.
- 00:10:29.574 --> 00:10:31.609
- It was a book on parenting and one of the things that he said
- 00:10:31.609 --> 00:10:35.280
- Was the most important thing you'll ever do or that you will
- 00:10:35.280 --> 00:10:38.349
- Even contribute to this world isn't maybe something that you
- 00:10:38.349 --> 00:10:41.586
- Will do, but someone you raise or someone you help raise.
- 00:10:41.586 --> 00:10:45.890
- And i, before i had kids, was like the youth pastor
- 00:10:45.890 --> 00:10:49.294
- Like homegirl.
- 00:10:49.294 --> 00:10:50.628
- Like i love middle schoolers, high schoolers, i just love them
- 00:10:50.628 --> 00:10:54.799
- So much.
- 00:10:54.799 --> 00:10:56.167
- And i remember i had this one girl in my 7th grade, a small
- 00:10:56.167 --> 00:10:58.336
- Group, and her name was christian.
- 00:10:58.336 --> 00:11:00.905
- And her mom is a real good friend and my hairdresser.
- 00:11:00.905 --> 00:11:04.075
- So she'd be telling me all the tea, okay?
- 00:11:04.075 --> 00:11:06.277
- Like doing my hair, telling me, girl, christian did this,
- 00:11:06.277 --> 00:11:08.146
- Christian did that.
- 00:11:08.146 --> 00:11:09.481
- So at the time she was in 7th grade and i remember my friend
- 00:11:09.481 --> 00:11:12.016
- Just like telling me all the crazy stuff that she did and
- 00:11:12.016 --> 00:11:15.754
- That she was doing.
- 00:11:15.754 --> 00:11:17.088
- She had these little boys, she's doing this, she's doing that.
- 00:11:17.088 --> 00:11:19.591
- And i remember her stopping to say like, is there any way that
- 00:11:19.591 --> 00:11:22.427
- You can, like, kind of help me?
- 00:11:22.427 --> 00:11:23.828
- She was a single mom, trying to get it together, we both went to
- 00:11:23.828 --> 00:11:27.065
- The same church, her daughter was in my small group and she
- 00:11:27.065 --> 00:11:29.367
- Just kind of like pulled on me a little bit.
- 00:11:29.367 --> 00:11:31.136
- But i remember starting to pray for christian.
- 00:11:31.136 --> 00:11:34.239
- This wasn't my kid, she was just in my small group.
- 00:11:34.239 --> 00:11:37.542
- And i mean, i guess, starting to mentor a little bit, just
- 00:11:37.542 --> 00:11:40.411
- Bringing her close, hanging out with her, all the things.
- 00:11:40.411 --> 00:11:43.548
- And then i used to do a lot of summer camps and i ended up
- 00:11:43.548 --> 00:11:47.452
- Getting pregnant with my daughter, dylan.
- 00:11:47.452 --> 00:11:48.820
- I had this little girl and i was like, i want to bring my
- 00:11:48.820 --> 00:11:50.989
- Daughter, but i need some childcare.
- 00:11:50.989 --> 00:11:52.624
- So i started bringing christian.
- 00:11:52.624 --> 00:11:54.125
- We would go to these summer camps, stay in these small
- 00:11:54.125 --> 00:11:56.294
- Little cabins, and dylan would just like give her a run for her
- 00:11:56.294 --> 00:11:59.864
- Money too.
- 00:11:59.864 --> 00:12:01.199
- Like, my daughter was from the beginning, in the beginning, she
- 00:12:01.199 --> 00:12:03.368
- Was a strong-willed blessing, crazy, throwing stuff like, oh
- 00:12:03.368 --> 00:12:07.172
- My goodness.
- 00:12:07.172 --> 00:12:08.506
- And it was so funny to watch christian trying to discipline
- 00:12:08.506 --> 00:12:11.109
- Her and like, say, girl, you out of control, this and that.
- 00:12:11.109 --> 00:12:14.212
- Because i think what was happening and cultivating in her
- 00:12:14.212 --> 00:12:16.848
- Was kind of a mirror of like what it looks like for me to be
- 00:12:16.848 --> 00:12:20.151
- Trying to work and live my life and my daughter's going crazy,
- 00:12:20.151 --> 00:12:23.021
- Throwing stuff all over the place.
- 00:12:23.021 --> 00:12:24.689
- And it's crazy because 10 years later now, christian is in
- 00:12:24.689 --> 00:12:32.163
- Colorado, helping little inner city babies with school and
- 00:12:32.163 --> 00:12:37.468
- Education, she's such a kind sweet girl.
- 00:12:37.468 --> 00:12:40.038
- She helps me still with my kids sometimes.
- 00:12:40.038 --> 00:12:42.240
- And me and latoya were just talking the other day, she was
- 00:12:42.240 --> 00:12:46.377
- Like--i was like, how's christian doing?
- 00:12:46.377 --> 00:12:47.779
- She still does my hair, everything.
- 00:12:47.779 --> 00:12:49.614
- And she was like, girl, she went on a hike and we're a little
- 00:12:49.614 --> 00:12:52.317
- Nervous because she's with her little ministry friends.
- 00:12:52.317 --> 00:12:55.520
- And latoya goes, she'll be fine, she knows what to do.
- 00:12:55.520 --> 00:12:59.257
- And i'm looking at this mother, who 10 years ago was like, help
- 00:12:59.257 --> 00:13:04.896
- Me, this girl is wow, this is crazy.
- 00:13:04.896 --> 00:13:07.832
- And because we decided to stand together in mothering as a
- 00:13:07.832 --> 00:13:12.303
- Village, like, i mean, not even my own kid because i decided to
- 00:13:12.303 --> 00:13:17.442
- Be a proverbs 31 woman to someone else's kid to help her
- 00:13:17.442 --> 00:13:22.480
- As she worked and tried to get her life together, we saw this
- 00:13:22.480 --> 00:13:26.417
- Girl rise up.
- 00:13:26.417 --> 00:13:27.819
- And i really think it's because her mom was not afraid to bring
- 00:13:27.819 --> 00:13:30.655
- In other women into her village.
- 00:13:30.655 --> 00:13:33.157
- Even if she didn't have the time and capacity to be a proverbs 31
- 00:13:33.157 --> 00:13:36.761
- Woman to her daughter, she was like, i don't have it.
- 00:13:36.761 --> 00:13:39.097
- I need other women to help me.
- 00:13:39.097 --> 00:13:40.932
- And she was okay with that and humble enough and it even says
- 00:13:40.932 --> 00:13:43.501
- This description is not just like of who she is, but it's
- 00:13:43.501 --> 00:13:47.005
- Also like how she does things.
- 00:13:47.005 --> 00:13:49.173
- She's got humble intention if you look at this proverbs 31
- 00:13:49.173 --> 00:13:52.477
- Woman, humble enough to ask for help, humble enough to give to
- 00:13:52.477 --> 00:13:55.880
- The needy and to go low instead of going so high and pompous.
- 00:13:55.880 --> 00:13:59.284
- And i just think like, it's such a beautiful reminder of who we
- 00:13:59.284 --> 00:14:02.287
- Get to be when we surround ourselves with women.
- 00:14:02.287 --> 00:14:06.157
- Chrystal evans hurst: one of the beautiful things that a friend
- 00:14:06.157 --> 00:14:08.326
- Of mine told me is that you never stop parenting.
- 00:14:08.326 --> 00:14:11.963
- How you parent changes.
- 00:14:11.963 --> 00:14:13.865
- You are directly responsible for them when they're small, and as
- 00:14:13.865 --> 00:14:16.601
- They get older, you become less of a director and more of a
- 00:14:16.601 --> 00:14:20.838
- Guide or a coach, but you have, as a mother, a role that no one
- 00:14:20.838 --> 00:14:26.077
- Else can fill, as a grandmother, as an aunt, as a godmother, as a
- 00:14:26.077 --> 00:14:30.748
- Person in the church, a spiritual mom.
- 00:14:30.748 --> 00:14:32.650
- There is a role that only you can fill and that role doesn't
- 00:14:32.650 --> 00:14:36.020
- Change, it just gets activated differently.
- 00:14:36.020 --> 00:14:39.590
- So if your children have grown up and they're now out of your
- 00:14:39.590 --> 00:14:42.293
- Home, if you didn't know what to do when they were in your home
- 00:14:42.293 --> 00:14:46.197
- And now you do, invite them to study the bible with you, let
- 00:14:46.197 --> 00:14:50.401
- Them know that you're praying for them, show up and sit with
- 00:14:50.401 --> 00:14:54.339
- Them, serve alongside them because it's never too late to
- 00:14:54.339 --> 00:14:57.542
- Make an imprint.
- 00:14:57.542 --> 00:14:58.910
- And god can do so many things when we are even working
- 00:14:58.910 --> 00:15:02.413
- With less.
- 00:15:02.413 --> 00:15:03.748
- So if you feel like i've lost time, you feel like i should
- 00:15:03.748 --> 00:15:06.217
- Have done this sooner, you're like, will my prayers and will
- 00:15:06.217 --> 00:15:09.454
- My time and attention even make a difference?
- 00:15:09.454 --> 00:15:11.789
- Bring what you have to the altar just so that you give god a
- 00:15:11.789 --> 00:15:15.193
- Little bit to work with because he doesn't need much when
- 00:15:15.193 --> 00:15:17.862
- We bring him what we have in faith.
- 00:15:17.862 --> 00:15:19.831
- What you need to know is if you're a mom of any variety,
- 00:15:19.831 --> 00:15:23.334
- It's never too late.
- 00:15:23.334 --> 00:15:27.171
- Toni: we want to hear from you.
- 00:15:27.171 --> 00:15:29.073
- Blynda: connect with us on social media to ask a question
- 00:15:29.073 --> 00:15:31.676
- Or share a prayer request.
- 00:15:31.676 --> 00:15:33.044
- Sheila: let's build up one another and get better together.
- 00:15:33.044 --> 00:15:37.281
- Female announcer: let's keep the conversation going.
- 00:15:37.281 --> 00:15:39.517
- You can find the "better together" podcast on your
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- Favorite listening platform.
- 00:15:41.886 --> 00:15:43.621
- Subscribe today.
- 00:15:43.621 --> 00:15:47.994
- Subscribe today.
- 00:15:47.994 --> 00:15:48.761
- Sheila: one of the things that was different from the way i was
- 00:15:51.530 --> 00:15:53.899
- Raised to the way that barry and i have raised christian is that
- 00:15:53.999 --> 00:15:57.736
- We just tell the truth in our family.
- 00:15:57.870 --> 00:16:00.472
- You know, when things are hard, we talk about them being hard,
- 00:16:00.572 --> 00:16:03.575
- Whereas in my family, and i don't blame my mom, my mom is an
- 00:16:03.675 --> 00:16:04.710
- Amazing mom.
- 00:16:06.111 --> 00:16:07.446
- I think she felt like she needed to protect us and, you know, it
- 00:16:07.446 --> 00:16:10.816
- Was just different back then.
- 00:16:10.816 --> 00:16:12.785
- Growing up in scotland you just kind of, so when something was
- 00:16:12.785 --> 00:16:15.988
- Painful we all coped with it in our own way behind closed doors.
- 00:16:15.988 --> 00:16:20.359
- But what i've watched with my son is, you know, he and i were
- 00:16:20.359 --> 00:16:24.096
- The only ones home the night that my father-in-law died.
- 00:16:24.096 --> 00:16:26.365
- William moved in with us after my mother-in-law died, and he
- 00:16:26.365 --> 00:16:29.501
- Lived with us for two years, which we loved.
- 00:16:29.501 --> 00:16:32.037
- He was an absolutely darling man.
- 00:16:32.037 --> 00:16:34.740
- And so christian and i were the only two home with him the night
- 00:16:34.740 --> 00:16:37.576
- That william passed.
- 00:16:37.576 --> 00:16:38.911
- And christian went through all the stages of being, you know,
- 00:16:38.911 --> 00:16:41.180
- He wept because he missed him so much, but then he was angry.
- 00:16:41.180 --> 00:16:44.283
- And i talked to him about it,
- 00:16:44.283 --> 00:16:45.617
- You know, what are you angry about?
- 00:16:45.617 --> 00:16:46.952
- And he said, well, you told me god answers prayers.
- 00:16:46.952 --> 00:16:49.088
- And he's five and i'm like, i asked, don't take my papa, and
- 00:16:49.088 --> 00:16:51.857
- He did, so i don't like god and i'm not gonna speak to
- 00:16:51.857 --> 00:16:54.059
- Him anymore.
- 00:16:54.059 --> 00:16:55.427
- And i'm like, yeah, i totally get that.
- 00:16:55.427 --> 00:16:56.762
- But we walked through that.
- 00:16:56.762 --> 00:16:58.130
- You know, i told this before we bought him boxing gloves and a
- 00:16:58.130 --> 00:17:01.200
- Punching bag.
- 00:17:01.200 --> 00:17:02.534
- And i said, babe, when you're angry, you hit that thing till
- 00:17:02.534 --> 00:17:04.536
- You're exhausted.
- 00:17:04.536 --> 00:17:05.871
- But then you get to fall into the arms of a god who's big
- 00:17:05.871 --> 00:17:08.006
- Enough for you to be angry and still love you.
- 00:17:08.006 --> 00:17:10.909
- But it's watching little things, like now he's a clinical
- 00:17:10.909 --> 00:17:13.345
- Psychologist, he's in his own practice, and he's such empathy
- 00:17:13.345 --> 00:17:17.349
- And he specializes in trauma.
- 00:17:17.349 --> 00:17:19.618
- But i think back to when he was like 10, and we're driving home
- 00:17:19.618 --> 00:17:23.455
- From school, barry and i are both in the car, christian's in
- 00:17:23.455 --> 00:17:25.390
- The back.
- 00:17:25.390 --> 00:17:26.725
- And in their class, he'd had a little bit of a hard time
- 00:17:26.725 --> 00:17:29.261
- Because one of the mums and dads had gone through a really messy
- 00:17:29.261 --> 00:17:32.931
- Divorce, i mean, really ugly, and they were both dating people
- 00:17:32.931 --> 00:17:35.701
- That weren't much older than their kids.
- 00:17:35.701 --> 00:17:37.136
- It was just like one of those situations.
- 00:17:37.136 --> 00:17:40.072
- And the girl who was in christian's class was
- 00:17:40.072 --> 00:17:43.475
- His friend.
- 00:17:43.475 --> 00:17:44.843
- But she was just starting to act out a little bit, you know, that
- 00:17:44.843 --> 00:17:47.012
- She was hurting and she was starting to act out.
- 00:17:47.012 --> 00:17:48.914
- And so barry, and i knew where he was coming from, but he said
- 00:17:48.914 --> 00:17:51.950
- To christian on the way home, babe, i just think that maybe at
- 00:17:51.950 --> 00:17:54.453
- The moment you should just distance yourself a little bit
- 00:17:54.453 --> 00:17:57.789
- From, you know, name the girl, just because, you know, she's in
- 00:17:57.789 --> 00:18:00.893
- A kind of hard place.
- 00:18:00.893 --> 00:18:02.261
- And christian was quiet for a minute and he said...how would i
- 00:18:02.261 --> 00:18:06.732
- Square that with the lord?
- 00:18:06.732 --> 00:18:09.234
- And i'm like, how would i square that with the lord?
- 00:18:09.234 --> 00:18:10.802
- Well, that's an excellent question.
- 00:18:10.802 --> 00:18:12.538
- But it was just, i saw then, there's something about the
- 00:18:12.538 --> 00:18:16.542
- Lessons that you go through in your own life, and the pain, and
- 00:18:16.542 --> 00:18:19.845
- The lessons god teaches you, and the perseverance, and the
- 00:18:19.845 --> 00:18:23.649
- Valuing honesty and integrity, not being afraid of the hard
- 00:18:23.649 --> 00:18:26.718
- Things 'cause they won't destroy you, you actually might come
- 00:18:26.718 --> 00:18:29.087
- Out stronger.
- 00:18:29.087 --> 00:18:30.455
- And then watching that in the life of my son, who was angry,
- 00:18:30.455 --> 00:18:34.493
- And was all sorts of things.
- 00:18:34.493 --> 00:18:35.928
- But then and i watch who he is at the moment, and i think
- 00:18:35.928 --> 00:18:41.233
- I'm just--
- 00:18:41.233 --> 00:18:42.568
- I said to him the other night, you know, when i get to heaven
- 00:18:42.568 --> 00:18:44.703
- After i tell jesus thank you for a million years for everything,
- 00:18:44.703 --> 00:18:48.340
- I'm gonna thank him for letting me be your mom.
- 00:18:48.340 --> 00:18:51.276
- Sheila: i think one of the greatest privileges in life is
- 00:18:51.276 --> 00:18:54.112
- Being able to kind of pass on the things that god has taught
- 00:18:54.112 --> 00:18:58.083
- You to the younger generation.
- 00:18:58.083 --> 00:19:00.319
- Now we only have one child, we have one son, but i can't tell
- 00:19:00.319 --> 00:19:03.789
- You how i have grown spiritually in just understanding the
- 00:19:03.789 --> 00:19:08.627
- Privilege of sharing some things.
- 00:19:08.627 --> 00:19:11.096
- And one of the things that my husband, barry and my son,
- 00:19:11.096 --> 00:19:13.498
- Christian and i do is, we tell the truth to one another.
- 00:19:13.498 --> 00:19:16.802
- And there's something about being able to see if him, even
- 00:19:16.802 --> 00:19:20.872
- When he was a little boy, grasp hold of what it meant to tell
- 00:19:20.872 --> 00:19:25.110
- The truth, what it meant to take your anger to god.
- 00:19:25.110 --> 00:19:28.513
- All the things that when i was his age, i hid because i thought
- 00:19:28.513 --> 00:19:32.751
- Those are not good things.
- 00:19:32.751 --> 00:19:34.086
- I need to be a good christian.
- 00:19:34.086 --> 00:19:35.587
- But showing my son, you know what, you get to come to god
- 00:19:35.587 --> 00:19:39.191
- Exactly as you are.
- 00:19:39.191 --> 00:19:40.525
- You don't clean yourself up to come to your father.
- 00:19:40.525 --> 00:19:43.262
- And i think that that's been one of the greatest lessons there.
- 00:19:43.262 --> 00:19:45.831
- I don't know how many young people are in your life, but
- 00:19:45.831 --> 00:19:49.334
- Whoever it is, something about living a life of integrity in
- 00:19:49.334 --> 00:19:53.972
- Front of them, being open to questions, being open to what
- 00:19:53.972 --> 00:19:57.576
- They're going through, being open to their own individual
- 00:19:57.576 --> 00:20:00.979
- Adventures with the ultimate trust in god that god has a plan
- 00:20:00.979 --> 00:20:04.416
- For their life.
- 00:20:04.416 --> 00:20:05.817
- But you and i get to be a part of it.
- 00:20:05.817 --> 00:20:08.453
- Blynda: and you know, what i love about that generation, the
- 00:20:08.453 --> 00:20:10.989
- Generations even after christians, they really
- 00:20:10.989 --> 00:20:14.459
- Crave authenticity.
- 00:20:14.459 --> 00:20:16.128
- They want to say the hard thing if the hard thing is the truth.
- 00:20:16.128 --> 00:20:19.431
- So i find it interesting because i feel like i kind of grew up in
- 00:20:19.431 --> 00:20:22.267
- A generation where it was a little bit more about
- 00:20:22.267 --> 00:20:24.536
- Appearance, you make sure you said the right thing, and you
- 00:20:24.536 --> 00:20:27.973
- Didn't really get down to the nitty gritty of what was really
- 00:20:27.973 --> 00:20:30.108
- Going on, definitely not in front of anyone.
- 00:20:30.108 --> 00:20:32.678
- And my kids, they can smell that a mile away.
- 00:20:32.678 --> 00:20:35.414
- They don't want anything to do with it.
- 00:20:35.414 --> 00:20:37.215
- You know i just really appreciate about--because what i
- 00:20:37.215 --> 00:20:40.886
- Feel about that is then their struggle about where they are
- 00:20:40.886 --> 00:20:44.489
- With the lord is real as well.
- 00:20:44.489 --> 00:20:46.325
- And once you can name it or call the struggle that you're having
- 00:20:46.325 --> 00:20:50.595
- With your relationship with the lord, i believe that's a faster
- 00:20:50.595 --> 00:20:53.365
- Way to have a mended relationship with what is broken
- 00:20:53.365 --> 00:20:56.168
- With the lord, you know?
- 00:20:56.168 --> 00:20:57.703
- Toni: one of the things that the lord has redeemed for our family
- 00:20:57.703 --> 00:21:00.472
- Over the last two years is my extrovertism and hospitality.
- 00:21:00.472 --> 00:21:04.476
- Like i love a full house.
- 00:21:04.476 --> 00:21:07.713
- I just, i think i grew up seeing it with my parents, family
- 00:21:07.713 --> 00:21:11.483
- Coming over, sunday dinners, and for years, and years, and years
- 00:21:11.483 --> 00:21:15.454
- When i was married, that was just like a no-no.
- 00:21:15.454 --> 00:21:17.322
- Like people don't come to our house, we're private,
- 00:21:17.322 --> 00:21:19.758
- Da-da-da-da, and that's just not who i am at all.
- 00:21:19.758 --> 00:21:22.027
- I'm like, open the front door, just let the people in,
- 00:21:22.027 --> 00:21:24.196
- You know?
- 00:21:24.196 --> 00:21:25.530
- And i'm looking at proverbs chapter 31 verses 15 and 20, it
- 00:21:25.530 --> 00:21:28.834
- Says, "she gets up while it's still night, she provides food
- 00:21:28.834 --> 00:21:31.002
- For her family and portions for her female servants.
- 00:21:31.002 --> 00:21:34.106
- Verse 20 says, "she opens her arms to the poor and extends her
- 00:21:34.106 --> 00:21:36.842
- Hands to the needy."
- 00:21:36.842 --> 00:21:38.176
- And i think about the many times over these last two years we've
- 00:21:38.176 --> 00:21:41.446
- Come up with two annual events that we do.
- 00:21:41.446 --> 00:21:43.882
- Our family wingsgiving, so the wednesday before thanksgiving,
- 00:21:43.882 --> 00:21:47.119
- We do a big wingsgiving and we invite everybody.
- 00:21:47.119 --> 00:21:49.221
- Bring your family like random people from our gym, like
- 00:21:49.221 --> 00:21:51.957
- Anybody and everybody, and we do a christmas eve eve party.
- 00:21:51.957 --> 00:21:55.660
- I mean my house is full.
- 00:21:55.660 --> 00:21:56.995
- For christmas eve eve, we had 25 just kids, like 25 children.
- 00:21:56.995 --> 00:22:02.167
- Now we don't have a big old house, okay?
- 00:22:02.167 --> 00:22:04.136
- It's like a little two-story, everything is just small, we
- 00:22:04.136 --> 00:22:07.506
- Don't even really have a big backyard, but my friend has like
- 00:22:07.506 --> 00:22:10.175
- A party company and she gave us a moonwalk.
- 00:22:10.175 --> 00:22:12.210
- We squeezed that sucker in the backyard, kids were everywhere.
- 00:22:12.210 --> 00:22:15.313
- It is like amazing.
- 00:22:15.313 --> 00:22:18.116
- I was driving with my daughter the other day and we saw this
- 00:22:18.116 --> 00:22:21.820
- Beautiful house and like we kind of all--me, my daughter and my
- 00:22:21.820 --> 00:22:24.890
- Nanny, we all have this vision, this dream that the lord will
- 00:22:24.890 --> 00:22:29.594
- Give us land and like a big old, like, just this white house,
- 00:22:29.594 --> 00:22:33.965
- Where we could put a trampoline in the backyard, and we just
- 00:22:33.965 --> 00:22:36.701
- Have people over all the time.
- 00:22:36.701 --> 00:22:38.036
- Like it's like our dream.
- 00:22:38.036 --> 00:22:39.404
- It's been hard for me to believe, you know?
- 00:22:39.404 --> 00:22:41.573
- It's like, i mean, how?
- 00:22:41.573 --> 00:22:42.908
- Like what--all the debt, all the everything, how?
- 00:22:42.908 --> 00:22:46.111
- And me and my daughter were driving, literally last week,
- 00:22:46.111 --> 00:22:49.548
- And we passed by this house that kind of looks like our
- 00:22:49.548 --> 00:22:51.850
- Dream house.
- 00:22:51.850 --> 00:22:53.185
- Like we all kind of have a vision of it.
- 00:22:53.185 --> 00:22:54.553
- It's white, it's kind of square, it's like modern chic country.
- 00:22:54.553 --> 00:22:56.288
- And she was like, oh, mom, look at that one.
- 00:22:56.288 --> 00:22:58.757
- It's so nice, oh my goodness.
- 00:22:58.757 --> 00:23:00.725
- I was like, oh, that is a good one for sure.
- 00:23:00.725 --> 00:23:02.594
- She was like, god's going to give us one.
- 00:23:02.594 --> 00:23:04.896
- And she was like, yeah.
- 00:23:04.896 --> 00:23:07.466
- Yeah, i believe it.
- 00:23:07.466 --> 00:23:08.834
- God's going to give us one.
- 00:23:08.834 --> 00:23:10.168
- And i'm just sitting there like, i don't know what type of faith
- 00:23:10.168 --> 00:23:13.271
- That is.
- 00:23:13.271 --> 00:23:14.806
- It's the faith of a child, who is not afraid to dream because
- 00:23:14.806 --> 00:23:19.077
- Shame hasn't settled into her story yet.
- 00:23:19.077 --> 00:23:21.346
- Sheila: and it won't.
- 00:23:21.346 --> 00:23:23.215
- Toni: and it won't.
- 00:23:23.215 --> 00:23:24.549
- Sheila: and it won't.
- 00:23:24.549 --> 00:23:25.917
- Toni: because i think what i'm modeling to her in this season,
- 00:23:25.917 --> 00:23:29.187
- Or trying to at least, is that god gives seed to the sower.
- 00:23:29.187 --> 00:23:34.526
- When we're intentional about providing food for your family
- 00:23:34.526 --> 00:23:39.331
- And making sure that there are portions for complete strangers,
- 00:23:39.331 --> 00:23:42.300
- Or those that people may not celebrate.
- 00:23:42.300 --> 00:23:45.337
- When we extend our hands out no matter what we have, i just
- 00:23:45.337 --> 00:23:49.107
- Think god gives us more.
- 00:23:49.107 --> 00:23:50.876
- And it was so cool to watch my daughter just believe.
- 00:23:50.876 --> 00:23:54.613
- Like, no, like, we don't want a big house because we think it's
- 00:23:54.613 --> 00:23:58.383
- Cool, or we want to be flashy and show the world.
- 00:23:58.383 --> 00:24:01.253
- We're trying to love people really well, and we want more
- 00:24:01.253 --> 00:24:04.422
- Space and room to do that.
- 00:24:04.422 --> 00:24:06.958
- And those are the virtues for me at least.
- 00:24:06.958 --> 00:24:09.961
- I don't need to be a cool entrepreneur like
- 00:24:09.961 --> 00:24:12.497
- Proverbs 31 girl.
- 00:24:12.497 --> 00:24:13.832
- I don't need to go into trading and profitability, and i don't
- 00:24:13.832 --> 00:24:16.401
- Even need that.
- 00:24:16.401 --> 00:24:17.769
- But i would like more space to love people.
- 00:24:17.769 --> 00:24:21.606
- And i feel like even those tiny little dreams shape the
- 00:24:21.606 --> 00:24:26.077
- Character of the children that are around us, whether they're
- 00:24:26.077 --> 00:24:28.446
- Ours or other people, i don't know maybe one of the virtues
- 00:24:28.446 --> 00:24:31.850
- That i think my daughter will have now is that a generosity.
- 00:24:31.850 --> 00:24:35.387
- It's like if we have it to give let's just give it.
- 00:24:35.387 --> 00:24:39.558
- Elyse mahan: my prayer for my kids, both my two stepdaughters
- 00:24:39.558 --> 00:24:46.398
- And the boy i have growing in my womb right now, as they grow in
- 00:24:46.398 --> 00:24:52.003
- Their faith and maturity, is that they would simply be who
- 00:24:52.003 --> 00:24:58.143
- God designed them to be.
- 00:24:58.143 --> 00:25:00.412
- That they would be uninhibited by things that held me and
- 00:25:00.412 --> 00:25:06.217
- Their dad back, but that they would be able to stand on the
- 00:25:06.217 --> 00:25:11.089
- Shoulders of the things that we have laid a foundation for and
- 00:25:11.089 --> 00:25:16.661
- The generations before us have laid a foundation for.
- 00:25:16.661 --> 00:25:20.498
- My prayer for my family is that god would be at the center and
- 00:25:20.498 --> 00:25:28.974
- There is nothing that they believed would stop them if they
- 00:25:28.974 --> 00:25:35.614
- Listened to their father, took it one step at a time, and
- 00:25:35.614 --> 00:25:39.818
- Truly, truly believed that god had a future designed for them
- 00:25:39.818 --> 00:25:46.958
- That was better than anything they could design
- 00:25:46.958 --> 00:25:48.927
- For themselves.
- 00:25:48.927 --> 00:25:50.862
- Chrystal: one of the things my mom used to say, this was a
- 00:25:50.862 --> 00:25:54.199
- Conversation that we would have around christmas because
- 00:25:54.199 --> 00:25:56.001
- Basically she was mrs. claus.
- 00:25:56.001 --> 00:25:58.970
- Blynda: i love it.
- 00:25:58.970 --> 00:26:00.338
- Chrystal: she is, was christmas.
- 00:26:00.338 --> 00:26:02.140
- The outside's decorated, the inside's decorated, you know,
- 00:26:02.140 --> 00:26:04.876
- All these just the house is exploding with things, and
- 00:26:04.876 --> 00:26:07.779
- Memories, and smells, and good food, and all that.
- 00:26:07.779 --> 00:26:10.148
- And the thing is, she loved all of it so much.
- 00:26:10.148 --> 00:26:14.786
- Which meant i was stressed out trying to do it.
- 00:26:14.786 --> 00:26:18.757
- I was like, no, we're not eating on christmas china.
- 00:26:18.757 --> 00:26:21.593
- I don't even have enough real china for y'all, much less
- 00:26:21.593 --> 00:26:24.229
- Christmas china.
- 00:26:24.229 --> 00:26:25.563
- Elyse: you got seasonal chinas?
- 00:26:25.563 --> 00:26:26.898
- Chrystal: yeah, and she would cook.
- 00:26:26.898 --> 00:26:28.400
- We even still have to this day like first sunday dinners
- 00:26:28.400 --> 00:26:30.769
- Because she started that, and it'll be 25, 30 people
- 00:26:30.769 --> 00:26:33.638
- Come over.
- 00:26:33.638 --> 00:26:35.006
- So but she was cooking every sunday, for everyone.
- 00:26:35.006 --> 00:26:38.576
- She did all of it.
- 00:26:38.576 --> 00:26:39.911
- Homemade rising yeast rolls and the whole nine yards, which
- 00:26:39.911 --> 00:26:43.148
- Meant that when i thought, okay, i'm grown, and so people are
- 00:26:43.148 --> 00:26:46.818
- Supposed to come to my house, i was completely stressed out.
- 00:26:46.818 --> 00:26:50.588
- So one of the things that she would say, and she started
- 00:26:50.588 --> 00:26:53.658
- Saying it about christmas and then she would say it about
- 00:26:53.658 --> 00:26:55.326
- Sunday dinner is she said, chrystal, i love christmas and i
- 00:26:55.326 --> 00:27:01.232
- Love cooking.
- 00:27:01.232 --> 00:27:02.567
- So these things that i've been doing to ultimately have the
- 00:27:02.567 --> 00:27:06.471
- Effect of hospitality and generosity, and to create
- 00:27:06.471 --> 00:27:09.574
- Memories are out of an overflow of my design.
- 00:27:09.574 --> 00:27:13.812
- Legacy, i think when we try to figure out what are we going to
- 00:27:13.812 --> 00:27:17.549
- Do to create legacy of faith, legacy of memories, legacy of
- 00:27:17.549 --> 00:27:22.587
- Togetherness, legacy in emotional health and wellbeing,
- 00:27:22.587 --> 00:27:25.857
- They come out of an overflow, you know, not out of copying
- 00:27:25.857 --> 00:27:30.462
- Somebody else.
- 00:27:30.462 --> 00:27:31.896
- And so there are some things, of course, that are biblical, and
- 00:27:31.896 --> 00:27:34.566
- They are about walking in righteousness and obedience.
- 00:27:34.566 --> 00:27:37.802
- But we've all heard the statement that more is caught
- 00:27:37.802 --> 00:27:40.872
- Than taught.
- 00:27:40.872 --> 00:27:42.207
- And it's the overflow of us learning, and growing, and
- 00:27:42.207 --> 00:27:45.477
- Living out loud.
- 00:27:45.477 --> 00:27:46.845
- It's the overflow of being intentional about spending time
- 00:27:46.845 --> 00:27:49.647
- With the lord, yes, out where your kids can see you.
- 00:27:49.647 --> 00:27:52.450
- It's the overflow.
- 00:27:52.450 --> 00:27:53.785
- My grandmother used to talk to herself and we would make fun of
- 00:27:53.785 --> 00:27:56.721
- Her because she was usually frustrated and she was talking
- 00:27:56.721 --> 00:28:00.291
- About us, you know, like she would be like we were you know
- 00:28:00.291 --> 00:28:03.528
- Like yeah those kids, i can't believe they're just ungrateful,
- 00:28:03.528 --> 00:28:05.797
- But she'd be talking out loud, she was hard of hearing.
- 00:28:05.797 --> 00:28:08.266
- And we were like, does she not realize how loud she's talking
- 00:28:08.266 --> 00:28:10.735
- And we can hear her?
- 00:28:10.735 --> 00:28:12.070
- But here's the thing, it was really, you know, as a kid it
- 00:28:12.070 --> 00:28:16.741
- Felt like frustration.
- 00:28:16.741 --> 00:28:18.543
- Now that i think back on what she was saying, she wasn't
- 00:28:18.543 --> 00:28:21.613
- Whining and complaining, she was praying.
- 00:28:21.613 --> 00:28:23.815
- It was praying out loud.
- 00:28:23.815 --> 00:28:25.183
- So i have this legacy of the overflow of i can't wait until i
- 00:28:25.183 --> 00:28:30.155
- Get to my quiet time tonight.
- 00:28:30.155 --> 00:28:31.723
- I've got to have this conversation with jesus as i
- 00:28:31.723 --> 00:28:33.758
- Wipe these kitchen counters.
- 00:28:33.758 --> 00:28:35.160
- I have a legacy of i love to cook so i'm gonna invite
- 00:28:35.160 --> 00:28:38.062
- Everyone over.
- 00:28:38.062 --> 00:28:39.397
- Now my mother did give me the freedom and i think this is what
- 00:28:39.397 --> 00:28:42.233
- We have to do as moms, as daughters, as friends is give
- 00:28:42.233 --> 00:28:47.605
- Each other the freedom to express overflow, out of what
- 00:28:47.605 --> 00:28:51.342
- God is doing in us.
- 00:28:51.342 --> 00:28:52.877
- And the legacy is not in copy me, the legacy is in what was i
- 00:28:52.877 --> 00:28:57.916
- Doing in my relationship with the lord and how can you mimic
- 00:28:57.916 --> 00:29:01.553
- My response to the lord?
- 00:29:01.553 --> 00:29:04.189
- Toni: we deeply want the message of proverbs 31 to empower the
- 00:29:04.189 --> 00:29:07.859
- Next generation and not make anyone feel like there's
- 00:29:07.859 --> 00:29:11.496
- Pressure on them.
- 00:29:11.496 --> 00:29:12.864
- And i think one of the ways that we do that is that we just
- 00:29:12.864 --> 00:29:15.600
- Remind everyone of verse 30.
- 00:29:15.600 --> 00:29:18.069
- The idea that the virtuous woman, the proverbs 31 woman,
- 00:29:18.069 --> 00:29:21.906
- Above everything that she does for her family, for her
- 00:29:21.906 --> 00:29:25.310
- Community, she is submitted to the fear of god.
- 00:29:25.310 --> 00:29:29.414
- She is righteous because she loves god.
- 00:29:29.414 --> 00:29:32.951
- She is performing for her family because she loves god.
- 00:29:32.951 --> 00:29:35.854
- She's building as an entrepreneur because she
- 00:29:35.854 --> 00:29:38.056
- Loves god.
- 00:29:38.056 --> 00:29:39.424
- I think that if we can focus more on being and less on doing,
- 00:29:39.424 --> 00:29:43.461
- We can empower the next generation to know that if they
- 00:29:43.461 --> 00:29:46.097
- Make a pit stop at jesus's cross, that's where they'll get
- 00:29:46.097 --> 00:29:49.701
- Their strength and that's where they'll get their virtue.
- 00:29:49.701 --> 00:29:52.971
- Blynda: we each have a bent.
- 00:29:52.971 --> 00:29:54.305
- We have our own giftings, our own personalities, he uses who
- 00:29:54.305 --> 00:29:57.709
- We are and then we walk that out in a different way.
- 00:29:57.709 --> 00:30:01.246
- It's gonna look different.
- 00:30:01.246 --> 00:30:02.614
- Chrystal: which means we have to be brave enough to give what
- 00:30:02.614 --> 00:30:04.315
- We have.
- 00:30:04.315 --> 00:30:05.683
- That's why it's so important to not compare.
- 00:30:05.683 --> 00:30:08.586
- Because you will never be able to create legacy borrowing
- 00:30:08.586 --> 00:30:11.356
- Somebody else's gifting.
- 00:30:11.356 --> 00:30:13.091
- Sheila: no, that's for sure.
- 00:30:13.091 --> 00:30:14.425
- Chrystal: you've gotta be able to create legacy with your
- 00:30:14.425 --> 00:30:16.761
- Friends, with your family and your church in your home, out of
- 00:30:16.761 --> 00:30:20.064
- What you have to give.
- 00:30:20.064 --> 00:30:21.432
- God will multiply what he's given you and legacy is about
- 00:30:21.432 --> 00:30:24.869
- The dripping of something.
- 00:30:24.869 --> 00:30:26.571
- It's the oozing of something, you know, it's like the
- 00:30:26.571 --> 00:30:29.407
- Chocolate fountain, you know, it pours into one cup and then it
- 00:30:29.407 --> 00:30:34.012
- Overflows to every layer after that.
- 00:30:34.012 --> 00:30:36.381
- Toni: it's like the chocolate "wonderfall."
- 00:30:36.381 --> 00:30:37.849
- Chrystal: exactly, legacy is about flowing.
- 00:30:37.849 --> 00:30:41.686
- It's not about perfection, it's not about do as i say, it is
- 00:30:41.686 --> 00:30:46.991
- About catch what god is doing in me and then let it sit in your
- 00:30:46.991 --> 00:30:51.763
- Pot the way god has designed you.
- 00:30:51.763 --> 00:30:53.798
- Blynda: oh, it makes me think of like transfer paper, you know,
- 00:30:53.798 --> 00:30:55.967
- Like transfer paper that if you can trace it, you know, so
- 00:30:55.967 --> 00:31:00.171
- There's a transference so the principles, and the ideals, and
- 00:31:00.171 --> 00:31:05.510
- The scriptures, those are transferred to the
- 00:31:05.510 --> 00:31:07.445
- Next generation.
- 00:31:07.445 --> 00:31:08.780
- But how they then, when they take the paper off, how they
- 00:31:08.780 --> 00:31:11.249
- Color it, it's going to be their--they're going to color it
- 00:31:11.249 --> 00:31:16.220
- The way that they want to, they're gonna add in the lines,
- 00:31:16.220 --> 00:31:18.623
- Then they may even color outside the lines a little, which might
- 00:31:18.623 --> 00:31:22.694
- Be hard to watch.
- 00:31:22.694 --> 00:31:24.162
- You know, that's one thing we have to think about.
- 00:31:24.162 --> 00:31:25.496
- Chrystal: that's what we have to release.
- 00:31:25.496 --> 00:31:26.831
- That's what you have to remove in your children's
- 00:31:26.831 --> 00:31:29.067
- Lives from this parent, to this coach, and this guidance.
- 00:31:29.067 --> 00:31:30.868
- Because yes, i have given you an outline, but the way god tells
- 00:31:30.868 --> 00:31:34.172
- You to color it, the way he wants you to express yourself,
- 00:31:34.172 --> 00:31:38.876
- It might be different than how i did it.
- 00:31:38.876 --> 00:31:40.411
- Toni: yeah, i think about my mom, on saturdays, she used to
- 00:31:40.411 --> 00:31:44.115
- Walk around the house, cleaning up, but she would sing hymns,
- 00:31:44.115 --> 00:31:47.485
- Like the whole time, and we would be so annoyed.
- 00:31:47.485 --> 00:31:51.489
- ♪ walk with me, lord. ♪♪
- 00:31:51.489 --> 00:31:54.392
- Elyse: she got the singing in. she got it in.
- 00:31:54.392 --> 00:31:56.594
- Toni: i mean, truly i only know that song because of my mom.
- 00:31:56.594 --> 00:32:00.431
- But you best believe there's worship playing in my house
- 00:32:00.431 --> 00:32:03.134
- Every day, all the time.
- 00:32:03.134 --> 00:32:05.303
- You best believe i'm saturating my children with the songs
- 00:32:05.303 --> 00:32:08.773
- Of jesus.
- 00:32:08.773 --> 00:32:10.141
- You better believe it.
- 00:32:10.141 --> 00:32:11.476
- Now it may not be "walk with me, lord," okay, but my mom
- 00:32:11.476 --> 00:32:16.147
- Transferred without even saying a word.
- 00:32:16.147 --> 00:32:19.117
- Actually she didn't say no words, she sang them, okay?
- 00:32:19.117 --> 00:32:22.186
- She transferred the power of saturating your home, your
- 00:32:22.186 --> 00:32:27.125
- Children, your environment with the blood of jesus.
- 00:32:27.125 --> 00:32:30.261
- Blynda: okay, deuteronomy 6, i have to read this.
- 00:32:30.261 --> 00:32:31.896
- It says, "these commandments that i give you today are to be
- 00:32:31.896 --> 00:32:34.599
- Upon your hearts, impress them on your children.
- 00:32:34.599 --> 00:32:38.269
- Talk about them when you sit at home, when you walk along the
- 00:32:38.269 --> 00:32:41.205
- Road, when you lie down, and when you get up.
- 00:32:41.205 --> 00:32:43.474
- Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on
- 00:32:43.474 --> 00:32:45.743
- Your forehead.
- 00:32:45.743 --> 00:32:47.111
- Write them on the door frames of your houses."
- 00:32:47.111 --> 00:32:48.713
- But it keeps going, i know it's long, but just--
- 00:32:48.713 --> 00:32:50.948
- Toni: no, we want it. come on.
- 00:32:50.948 --> 00:32:52.283
- Blynda: --"when the lord your god brings
- 00:32:52.283 --> 00:32:53.618
- You into the land he swore to your fathers, abraham, isaac,
- 00:32:53.618 --> 00:32:55.186
- And jacob, to give you a land with large, flourishing cities,
- 00:32:55.186 --> 00:32:59.457
- All kinds of good things that you did not provide, wells you
- 00:32:59.457 --> 00:33:01.959
- Did not dig and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant,
- 00:33:01.959 --> 00:33:05.630
- Then when you eat and are satisfied, be careful that you
- 00:33:05.630 --> 00:33:09.934
- Do not forget the lord, who brought you out of egypt, out of
- 00:33:09.934 --> 00:33:12.737
- The land of slavery."
- 00:33:12.737 --> 00:33:14.072
- So even in all of these moments that we are going around our
- 00:33:14.072 --> 00:33:17.308
- Houses and we're either singing it, or we're preaching it, or
- 00:33:17.308 --> 00:33:19.677
- We're saying it, or we're not saying a word and we're just
- 00:33:19.677 --> 00:33:22.380
- Doing it, and we're cooking the meal, and we're--
- 00:33:22.380 --> 00:33:24.615
- All of these things transfer.
- 00:33:24.615 --> 00:33:27.385
- And then the lord says, and you just watch what i'm gonna do.
- 00:33:27.385 --> 00:33:30.388
- I'm gonna give you things that you didn't even--i mean, right
- 00:33:30.388 --> 00:33:33.357
- Here, i mean this is what's amazing.
- 00:33:33.357 --> 00:33:35.693
- "i will fill your houses with all kinds of good things that
- 00:33:35.693 --> 00:33:38.329
- You did not provide."
- 00:33:38.329 --> 00:33:40.765
- Chrystal: come on.
- 00:33:40.765 --> 00:33:42.133
- Blynda: he fills the houses with things that we did not provide.
- 00:33:42.133 --> 00:33:43.935
- And then all we're supposed to do is just not forget him.
- 00:33:43.935 --> 00:33:48.206
- That's what he says, just don't forget me.
- 00:33:48.206 --> 00:33:49.574
- I'm the one that brought you out of slavery.
- 00:33:49.574 --> 00:33:52.009
- Don't forget.
- 00:33:52.009 --> 00:33:53.778
- Blynda: i know for my life, i've had mentors, i've had people
- 00:33:53.778 --> 00:33:58.349
- Ahead of me in the faith.
- 00:33:58.349 --> 00:34:00.051
- And having a blueprint to look at and to watch has been
- 00:34:00.051 --> 00:34:03.287
- So helpful.
- 00:34:03.287 --> 00:34:04.622
- One, with wisdom, i look at some of their mistakes and it helps
- 00:34:04.622 --> 00:34:09.193
- Me avoid mistakes.
- 00:34:09.193 --> 00:34:10.628
- And so that would be what wisdom would do by looking at
- 00:34:10.628 --> 00:34:13.097
- Someone else.
- 00:34:13.097 --> 00:34:14.432
- But also seeing where there's been fruitfulness in their life.
- 00:34:14.432 --> 00:34:16.467
- When i've seen somebody who has been further in the faith in me
- 00:34:16.467 --> 00:34:19.837
- And i've seen them walk faithfully with the lord, and
- 00:34:19.837 --> 00:34:23.007
- I've seen their life have ups and downs, and trials, and
- 00:34:23.007 --> 00:34:26.511
- Sorrow, and joy, and all of that yet what remains the same is
- 00:34:26.511 --> 00:34:30.748
- That god remains faithful to them and they remain faithful to
- 00:34:30.748 --> 00:34:33.951
- God, what it did for me is it encouraged me, okay, no matter
- 00:34:33.951 --> 00:34:37.555
- What life throws at me, i can stay faithful to god and he will
- 00:34:37.555 --> 00:34:40.558
- Stay faithful to me.
- 00:34:40.558 --> 00:34:41.893
- He will always come through for me.
- 00:34:41.893 --> 00:34:43.227
- The victory is mine because i'm a child of his.
- 00:34:43.227 --> 00:34:45.329
- So then when i'm encouraging the next generation, and why it is
- 00:34:45.329 --> 00:34:48.332
- So important is because we have a generation truly that needs
- 00:34:48.332 --> 00:34:52.803
- The hope of jesus christ.
- 00:34:52.803 --> 00:34:55.239
- They need to know that there is real salvation, that there is a
- 00:34:55.239 --> 00:34:58.843
- Life beyond this, and i know that there's kind of an epidemic
- 00:34:58.843 --> 00:35:03.014
- Of depression, and anxiety, and things that they're dealing
- 00:35:03.014 --> 00:35:05.716
- With, and they need to see real authentic faith.
- 00:35:05.716 --> 00:35:08.686
- They need to know, yeah, it's not gonna be roses.
- 00:35:08.686 --> 00:35:11.122
- We know that it says in this world we will have trouble, but,
- 00:35:11.122 --> 00:35:15.560
- "behold, i have overcome the world."
- 00:35:15.560 --> 00:35:17.695
- They need to see that we live as people who believe that jesus
- 00:35:17.695 --> 00:35:22.099
- Has overcome the world.
- 00:35:22.099 --> 00:35:25.336
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- 00:35:25.336 --> 00:35:27.605
- Together" updates.
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- 00:35:35.996 --> 00:35:36.982
- Elyse: it's a different seat, i feel like all season that i'm
- 00:35:39.718 --> 00:35:42.287
- In, raising kids whose story i didn't start.
- 00:35:42.421 --> 00:35:47.292
- And for so many years, i grew up in church, so when i was 12, i
- 00:35:47.392 --> 00:35:53.031
- Was leading a bible study of 12-year-olds because that was
- 00:35:53.165 --> 00:35:55.767
- What i knew.
- 00:35:55.901 --> 00:35:56.101
- I grew up with life groups, and church, and being youth leaders
- 00:35:57.336 --> 00:36:01.573
- Even before i was too young to be in youth.
- 00:36:01.573 --> 00:36:04.209
- Like, that's all i had known was one generation to another, even
- 00:36:04.209 --> 00:36:07.279
- When i was still the next generation type of thing.
- 00:36:07.279 --> 00:36:09.448
- And so i'd always grown up with that.
- 00:36:09.448 --> 00:36:11.984
- But there was that 7-year gap where i was like, god, am i
- 00:36:11.984 --> 00:36:14.653
- Gonna have kids of my own?
- 00:36:14.653 --> 00:36:16.655
- And that's a real question that many women ask god.
- 00:36:16.655 --> 00:36:20.892
- And so being brought so quickly into this now season where a lot
- 00:36:20.892 --> 00:36:24.730
- Of other families are, with a blended family, where there are
- 00:36:24.730 --> 00:36:27.966
- Stories that you're stepping into in chapter 5 and 7, and
- 00:36:27.966 --> 00:36:32.571
- There are already patterns that are there, there are already
- 00:36:32.571 --> 00:36:35.507
- Experiences that you wish you could have hidden your
- 00:36:35.507 --> 00:36:38.143
- Children from.
- 00:36:38.143 --> 00:36:39.711
- What do you do to then say, god, i didn't choose the beginning of
- 00:36:39.711 --> 00:36:44.216
- This, but how do i walk them out?
- 00:36:44.216 --> 00:36:47.352
- It makes me think of the israelites when they were
- 00:36:47.352 --> 00:36:50.122
- Walking out of egypt and were in that wilderness and god was
- 00:36:50.122 --> 00:36:53.058
- Still using ways to be able to heal them before they would get
- 00:36:53.058 --> 00:36:56.295
- To the promised land.
- 00:36:56.295 --> 00:36:57.629
- And for me, it's been a really interesting season of having to
- 00:36:57.629 --> 00:37:00.332
- Let go of control, and having to surrender in so many ways.
- 00:37:00.332 --> 00:37:04.136
- And like i said, my husband was a single dad for a few years
- 00:37:04.136 --> 00:37:06.838
- Before, and the women in our community now, at the church,
- 00:37:06.838 --> 00:37:10.575
- Stepped in, which i think in itself is the beautiful picture
- 00:37:10.575 --> 00:37:14.212
- Of raising the next generation and of the church.
- 00:37:14.212 --> 00:37:16.948
- And they have so many mums, it's crazy, like, it's incredible.
- 00:37:16.948 --> 00:37:21.119
- And yet stepping into this role has just been this, like, then
- 00:37:21.119 --> 00:37:25.190
- You become an instant mom.
- 00:37:25.190 --> 00:37:26.525
- And so it's like, okay, this is the answer to my prayer, but
- 00:37:26.525 --> 00:37:28.393
- Also, what the heck am i doing, and how do you be a mom?
- 00:37:28.393 --> 00:37:31.063
- How does one "mom," like, how do you do that?
- 00:37:31.063 --> 00:37:32.764
- And so i had known how to "big-sister."
- 00:37:32.764 --> 00:37:34.666
- I had known how to pastor, but how do you mom?
- 00:37:34.666 --> 00:37:37.502
- And so i remember just thinking back to like, what do i know?
- 00:37:37.502 --> 00:37:41.106
- What did my mom do?
- 00:37:41.106 --> 00:37:42.708
- Chrystal: you know what, as you're talking, all i can hear
- 00:37:42.708 --> 00:37:45.310
- And see is exodus 3 and 4, when moses was like, "but what if?
- 00:37:45.310 --> 00:37:50.882
- But i'm not. but what do i say?
- 00:37:50.882 --> 00:37:53.685
- You know, i stutter."
- 00:37:53.685 --> 00:37:55.220
- Like all the questions that we have when god says in exodus
- 00:37:55.220 --> 00:37:59.324
- 3:10, he says, "come now, i'm telling you when."
- 00:37:59.324 --> 00:38:02.461
- "go where?"
- 00:38:02.461 --> 00:38:03.795
- "you're going to go talk to pharaoh."
- 00:38:03.795 --> 00:38:05.130
- "who am i talking to?" "pharaoh."
- 00:38:05.130 --> 00:38:06.565
- "what am i saying?" "let my people go."
- 00:38:06.565 --> 00:38:07.999
- There's a prescription to step into.
- 00:38:07.999 --> 00:38:09.868
- And then moses spends 3:10 to the beginning of chapter 4 with
- 00:38:09.868 --> 00:38:13.872
- All the questions.
- 00:38:13.872 --> 00:38:15.207
- And one of the things that god said to moses was, what do you
- 00:38:15.207 --> 00:38:18.577
- Have in your hand?
- 00:38:18.577 --> 00:38:19.945
- So what we do is we go, "how can i?" and we see the bigness of
- 00:38:19.945 --> 00:38:24.116
- Something that we are stepping into or stepping back into
- 00:38:24.116 --> 00:38:28.854
- Or coming.
- 00:38:28.854 --> 00:38:30.222
- And god is like, don't worry about all that.
- 00:38:30.222 --> 00:38:32.591
- What did i give you?
- 00:38:32.591 --> 00:38:34.760
- Half of the battle of legacy being such a big word is that we
- 00:38:34.760 --> 00:38:39.264
- Feel like we have to be able to step into whatever the shoes are
- 00:38:39.264 --> 00:38:44.202
- That we envision legacy should be.
- 00:38:44.202 --> 00:38:46.304
- Blynda: because so much is at stake, it feels like.
- 00:38:46.304 --> 00:38:47.906
- Chrystal: so much is at stake.
- 00:38:47.906 --> 00:38:49.241
- So whether that's a mother, your mother, whether that's your
- 00:38:49.241 --> 00:38:52.177
- Husband's mother, you know, the way she did all the things,
- 00:38:52.177 --> 00:38:54.646
- Whether that's your children's mother, if you're stepping into
- 00:38:54.646 --> 00:38:57.883
- A blended family situation.
- 00:38:57.883 --> 00:38:59.885
- When all god has ever asked us to do is to use what he already
- 00:38:59.885 --> 00:39:04.189
- Gave us and anything else we needed, he would hand us.
- 00:39:04.189 --> 00:39:07.426
- Elyse: and so that's where i literally was at.
- 00:39:07.426 --> 00:39:09.528
- I was overwhelming myself.
- 00:39:09.528 --> 00:39:10.862
- At first it was great and i was like, okay my mom used to have
- 00:39:10.862 --> 00:39:12.864
- Quiet times in the kitchen, i can do that, that's good.
- 00:39:12.864 --> 00:39:14.866
- And then my mom used to do this, and then my mom used to do that.
- 00:39:14.866 --> 00:39:17.202
- And the very thing you were talking about where you'd get
- 00:39:17.202 --> 00:39:19.037
- Overwhelmed at christmas.
- 00:39:19.037 --> 00:39:20.405
- 'cause that's not necessarily part of your makeup.
- 00:39:20.405 --> 00:39:22.441
- I was like, all right, and then i'm gonna do these things, and
- 00:39:22.441 --> 00:39:24.576
- Then i'm gonna do this, and then i'm probably gonna preach to
- 00:39:24.576 --> 00:39:26.812
- Them, but i'll do it in their kids' language, and i just
- 00:39:26.812 --> 00:39:28.647
- Overwhelmed myself that i almost missed, like i almost missed
- 00:39:28.647 --> 00:39:33.618
- Their like nighttime routine that night.
- 00:39:33.618 --> 00:39:35.253
- Like and at the end of the day, i just got this, the next
- 00:39:35.253 --> 00:39:39.157
- Morning i woke up cause it was like this night, and then i got
- 00:39:39.157 --> 00:39:41.126
- Into a fight with them, as you do.
- 00:39:41.126 --> 00:39:42.761
- And like, i was like, see, what am i doing?
- 00:39:42.761 --> 00:39:46.765
- Like i wasn't--maybe god was trying to save me by not having
- 00:39:46.765 --> 00:39:51.470
- Me be a mom.
- 00:39:51.470 --> 00:39:52.804
- And then i just went and did i make this happen?
- 00:39:52.804 --> 00:39:54.272
- Like, i spiraled real quick, and this was a quintessentially
- 00:39:54.272 --> 00:39:58.009
- Spiraling moment.
- 00:39:58.009 --> 00:39:59.578
- I just went to bed feeling like a failure, like overwhelmed,
- 00:39:59.578 --> 00:40:02.781
- Failing before i'd even started in a sense.
- 00:40:02.781 --> 00:40:04.549
- And i'm waking up the next morning just talking to the lord
- 00:40:04.549 --> 00:40:06.751
- About it and felt almost like this moment where god was like,
- 00:40:06.751 --> 00:40:10.789
- "i knew who i chose.
- 00:40:10.789 --> 00:40:12.524
- I knew who i chose.
- 00:40:12.524 --> 00:40:14.759
- Stop looking at all the things that you think you're meant to
- 00:40:14.759 --> 00:40:18.463
- Be and trust that they're instilled into you and will come
- 00:40:18.463 --> 00:40:22.200
- Out when i need them to come out."
- 00:40:22.200 --> 00:40:25.504
- Elyse: when i think of the practical ways that we can teach
- 00:40:25.504 --> 00:40:29.474
- The next generation about this proverbs 31 woman, i think it's
- 00:40:29.474 --> 00:40:34.179
- Less about making them memorize scripture--
- 00:40:34.179 --> 00:40:37.182
- Although memorizing scripture is incredible, and i'm a big fan of
- 00:40:37.182 --> 00:40:39.885
- It, and maybe that is one of the practical ways to do it.
- 00:40:39.885 --> 00:40:42.921
- I think it's more about showing people how to show up in
- 00:40:42.921 --> 00:40:47.225
- The world.
- 00:40:47.225 --> 00:40:48.560
- Because really that's what we're talking about, the woman of
- 00:40:48.560 --> 00:40:49.928
- Valor is the woman that showed up in the mess of life, trusted
- 00:40:49.928 --> 00:40:53.999
- In god, and did what she could to co-labor with him.
- 00:40:53.999 --> 00:40:57.969
- So when i think about my daughters, i'm not teaching them
- 00:40:57.969 --> 00:41:02.407
- By necessarily telling them this is what the proverbs 31 woman
- 00:41:02.407 --> 00:41:05.076
- Would do 'cause they would probably look at me at 5 or
- 00:41:05.076 --> 00:41:07.512
- 7-years-old and be like, what are you talking about?
- 00:41:07.512 --> 00:41:11.483
- But i teach them at when they see me pray, i teach them at
- 00:41:11.483 --> 00:41:17.155
- When instead of listening to gossip on the radio, we turn
- 00:41:17.155 --> 00:41:20.692
- Worship music on.
- 00:41:20.692 --> 00:41:22.193
- I teach them how to be the woman of valor by showing them how to
- 00:41:22.193 --> 00:41:28.033
- Show up even when i don't feel like it.
- 00:41:28.033 --> 00:41:30.535
- We are constantly teaching the next generation, and this
- 00:41:30.535 --> 00:41:33.572
- Generation, the people around us, how they can act and show up
- 00:41:33.572 --> 00:41:37.442
- In the world by how we can act and show up in the world.
- 00:41:37.442 --> 00:41:40.078
- And what would be so much easier was if i could tell you the five
- 00:41:40.078 --> 00:41:43.415
- Different things that i do to make sure that they learn that.
- 00:41:43.415 --> 00:41:46.885
- But i honestly think the biggest thing i'm learning is the
- 00:41:46.885 --> 00:41:49.721
- Greatest lesson and practical piece of advice i can give
- 00:41:49.721 --> 00:41:53.358
- My daughters
- 00:41:53.358 --> 00:41:56.227
- Is by letting them watch a life of a woman that showed up not
- 00:41:56.227 --> 00:41:59.965
- Perfectly, but authentically,
- 00:41:59.965 --> 00:42:04.102
- That prayed consistently, that worshiped god both in song and
- 00:42:04.102 --> 00:42:09.007
- In the life that i lived, that prioritized the meeting with the
- 00:42:09.007 --> 00:42:12.577
- Saints, going to church, serving one another.
- 00:42:12.577 --> 00:42:17.148
- I practice being kind, being patient, the fruits of the
- 00:42:17.148 --> 00:42:20.652
- Spirit, maybe the greatest practical tool i can give them
- 00:42:20.652 --> 00:42:26.291
- Is the way i live my life and it's kind of the hardest one,
- 00:42:26.291 --> 00:42:31.129
- Isn't it?
- 00:42:31.129 --> 00:42:32.497
- But it's what we're called to do.
- 00:42:32.497 --> 00:42:34.633
- Elyse: so often we can overwhelm ourselves with this idea of
- 00:42:34.633 --> 00:42:38.203
- Legacy, or this idea of, i haven't been equipped, i didn't
- 00:42:38.203 --> 00:42:41.439
- Have a great mom, or i didn't have--i haven't had the
- 00:42:41.439 --> 00:42:43.908
- Generations of ministry, or christians, or whatever.
- 00:42:43.908 --> 00:42:46.678
- I couldn't be possibly equipped.
- 00:42:46.678 --> 00:42:48.480
- But at the end of the day, do we trust that what the people that
- 00:42:48.480 --> 00:42:52.617
- God has asked us to raise, the people in our sphere of
- 00:42:52.617 --> 00:42:55.687
- Influence, whether they're biological or not, that he
- 00:42:55.687 --> 00:42:59.457
- Hasn't equipped us that when we need to do the task in front of
- 00:42:59.457 --> 00:43:04.229
- Us, that he will strengthen us, that he will gird us--all of the
- 00:43:04.229 --> 00:43:08.233
- Things we've been talking about this week.
- 00:43:08.233 --> 00:43:09.567
- And so for me, it has been a lot less about like, hey god, how do
- 00:43:09.567 --> 00:43:13.605
- I raise the next generation?
- 00:43:13.605 --> 00:43:14.939
- 'cause we're actually really comfortable with that before, to
- 00:43:14.939 --> 00:43:17.275
- Like, okay, what do i make for dinner tonight?
- 00:43:17.275 --> 00:43:19.678
- Okay, they're still on their screens.
- 00:43:19.678 --> 00:43:22.147
- I feel like maybe that's like a lot of time.
- 00:43:22.147 --> 00:43:24.215
- So maybe we start.
- 00:43:24.215 --> 00:43:26.184
- It has been coming down legacy decisions for me in this season,
- 00:43:26.184 --> 00:43:30.588
- Look a lot more like, how about we switch this to some worship
- 00:43:30.588 --> 00:43:34.893
- Music on the way to church, or on the way to school?
- 00:43:34.893 --> 00:43:38.396
- How about like these little moments with god, that they're
- 00:43:38.396 --> 00:43:42.734
- Now asking for worship music when they get in the car--
- 00:43:42.734 --> 00:43:44.936
- They're now--these little things that i'm noticing that like,
- 00:43:44.936 --> 00:43:47.605
- Elyse, legacy looks a lot more like day-to-day decisions and
- 00:43:47.605 --> 00:43:53.778
- Trusting me with, god, "what do i do with this moment?" than i
- 00:43:53.778 --> 00:43:58.817
- Ever thought it would look like.
- 00:43:58.817 --> 00:44:00.151
- Chrystal: legacy is in the layers of the lasagna, it's in
- 00:44:00.151 --> 00:44:02.687
- The folding of the bed linens, and it's in laying down together
- 00:44:02.687 --> 00:44:05.924
- At night, rubbing a kid's back.
- 00:44:05.924 --> 00:44:07.859
- And we make legacy about did they find their purpose?
- 00:44:07.859 --> 00:44:12.530
- Are they going to remember and hold on to this memory?
- 00:44:12.530 --> 00:44:15.066
- Yeah, and it can be that too, but i think when you're in the
- 00:44:15.066 --> 00:44:18.470
- Trenches, you know, it's just in the little things.
- 00:44:18.470 --> 00:44:23.641
- It's in showing up as you can in your own skin, giving what
- 00:44:23.641 --> 00:44:28.179
- You have.
- 00:44:28.179 --> 00:44:29.547
- Blynda: and that is one thing that i love about about this
- 00:44:29.547 --> 00:44:31.649
- Proverbs 31 is it gives us if we're like, what are the little
- 00:44:31.649 --> 00:44:35.286
- Things we can be doing?
- 00:44:35.286 --> 00:44:36.721
- We can take these literally.
- 00:44:36.721 --> 00:44:38.890
- I mean we've talked about it being more figurative, but we
- 00:44:38.890 --> 00:44:40.825
- Can take them literally and say, okay, well i don't know, maybe i
- 00:44:40.825 --> 00:44:43.661
- Will, you know, go get my food from afar.
- 00:44:43.661 --> 00:44:45.630
- I'll go to the grocery store today, you know, i'll just go
- 00:44:45.630 --> 00:44:47.832
- Grocery shopping.
- 00:44:47.832 --> 00:44:49.167
- Chrystal: instead of ordering it in, go pick my own apples.
- 00:44:49.167 --> 00:44:52.337
- Blynda: maybe i'll go to the grocery store.
- 00:44:52.337 --> 00:44:54.105
- Toni: maybe i'll include my kids in the feast tonight.
- 00:44:54.105 --> 00:44:59.711
- Toni: i love this idea that we get to walk step-in-step with
- 00:44:59.711 --> 00:45:02.447
- Someone as they build a faith of their very own.
- 00:45:02.447 --> 00:45:05.383
- And i think the role that we get to play as the older generation
- 00:45:05.383 --> 00:45:09.187
- To a new generation is that we can disciple them by walking
- 00:45:09.187 --> 00:45:12.390
- With them, but not walking for them, not telling them who they
- 00:45:12.390 --> 00:45:16.027
- Should be, but showing them who they could be in christ.
- 00:45:16.027 --> 00:45:19.664
- Toni: it's interesting, again, i want us to go back really
- 00:45:19.664 --> 00:45:22.433
- Quickly to the fact that proverbs 31 is this beautiful
- 00:45:22.433 --> 00:45:27.038
- Description of a woman-- not a checklist--description.
- 00:45:27.038 --> 00:45:30.742
- And it also is instruction for the boy, for the son.
- 00:45:30.742 --> 00:45:36.047
- And i was looking at verse 3 and trying to unpack what she meant
- 00:45:36.047 --> 00:45:42.253
- By, "do not spend your strength on women, your vigor on those
- 00:45:42.253 --> 00:45:46.658
- Who ruin kings."
- 00:45:46.658 --> 00:45:48.026
- And i was like, i mean, isn't she--okay, he's trying to find
- 00:45:48.026 --> 00:45:52.330
- A wife.
- 00:45:52.330 --> 00:45:53.698
- What do you mean do not spend your strength on women?
- 00:45:53.698 --> 00:45:55.166
- And in context, that scripture is about sexual
- 00:45:55.166 --> 00:45:58.770
- Desires, obsessiveness.
- 00:45:58.770 --> 00:46:01.372
- A lot of times strength could be translated into wealth, what
- 00:46:01.372 --> 00:46:05.743
- Gives a king strength and power, and you don't want to be
- 00:46:05.743 --> 00:46:09.581
- Obsessing over women, sexualizing them, all those
- 00:46:09.581 --> 00:46:13.585
- Different things, which i just thought was very interesting.
- 00:46:13.585 --> 00:46:16.721
- I don't want us to skip the fact that we also are trying our best
- 00:46:16.721 --> 00:46:21.359
- To instill new morals into our sons and daughters.
- 00:46:21.359 --> 00:46:24.762
- We live in a very sexualized society, and i got to tell you,
- 00:46:24.762 --> 00:46:28.967
- Protecting my daughter who's almost 11 from all of the things
- 00:46:28.967 --> 00:46:33.872
- Of this world is scary.
- 00:46:33.872 --> 00:46:36.007
- And i realize that i had been raising my daughter to protect
- 00:46:36.007 --> 00:46:39.377
- Her from men and instill morals in her, which i needed to do.
- 00:46:39.377 --> 00:46:43.281
- And then i had a son and i started to instill these values
- 00:46:43.281 --> 00:46:46.618
- In him that are around protecting women and being
- 00:46:46.618 --> 00:46:50.521
- Honest because i'm like, fighting against society.
- 00:46:50.521 --> 00:46:54.225
- And i just think like the bible sets us up for all of these
- 00:46:54.225 --> 00:46:57.896
- Virtues not just for women here.
- 00:46:57.896 --> 00:47:00.365
- I just, i wanna make sure we keep the conversation balanced
- 00:47:00.365 --> 00:47:03.001
- Because this is for men too, it's talking about treating
- 00:47:03.001 --> 00:47:05.403
- Women with dignity, and respect, and not letting your sexual
- 00:47:05.403 --> 00:47:07.772
- Desires actually steal your successes because you're so
- 00:47:07.772 --> 00:47:11.442
- Obsessed with women and you're so obsessed with sexuality that
- 00:47:11.442 --> 00:47:14.545
- You miss that you've been called to be a leader and a king.
- 00:47:14.545 --> 00:47:17.548
- And it's just interesting to me because i'm like, i feel
- 00:47:17.548 --> 00:47:21.920
- Honestly more confident that my daughter is picking up virtues
- 00:47:21.920 --> 00:47:25.957
- And she can go on about her business than my son.
- 00:47:25.957 --> 00:47:28.927
- And i think it's society.
- 00:47:28.927 --> 00:47:30.361
- I think, in a way, we've left the boys behind.
- 00:47:30.361 --> 00:47:32.997
- We are uplifting women, we are telling them that they can be
- 00:47:32.997 --> 00:47:35.800
- Great and virtuous, and amazing.
- 00:47:35.800 --> 00:47:37.268
- That they can just be and not do.
- 00:47:37.268 --> 00:47:39.470
- And also we need to be telling our sons you've got leadership
- 00:47:39.470 --> 00:47:43.908
- On the inside of you.
- 00:47:43.908 --> 00:47:45.643
- Be a king.
- 00:47:45.643 --> 00:47:47.211
- This is how you treat women, this is how you view them, this
- 00:47:47.211 --> 00:47:49.580
- Is how you manage power, and pride, and success like.
- 00:47:49.580 --> 00:47:53.952
- Blynda: what i think is really special about ending on that is
- 00:47:53.952 --> 00:47:56.587
- We started out the week pointing out that we've always maybe
- 00:47:56.587 --> 00:47:59.624
- Heard proverbs 31
- 00:47:59.624 --> 00:48:00.992
- Being about this checklist of things for women to become and
- 00:48:00.992 --> 00:48:04.996
- To do, whatever.
- 00:48:04.996 --> 00:48:06.331
- And then we made this little nuanced revelation that this was
- 00:48:06.331 --> 00:48:09.968
- A mom talking to her son about you need to have virtue so that
- 00:48:09.968 --> 00:48:15.106
- You can see and understand how to get a virtuous woman.
- 00:48:15.106 --> 00:48:19.577
- And so it's a beautiful way to end it because i think what i
- 00:48:19.577 --> 00:48:23.281
- Hope people get from this week as we wrap up, is when you think
- 00:48:23.281 --> 00:48:28.086
- Of proverbs 31, if anything still in you, kind of rises up
- 00:48:28.086 --> 00:48:31.689
- To, oh, i'll never be a proverbs 31 woman.
- 00:48:31.689 --> 00:48:33.758
- Oh, i'll never be able to raise up to that standard.
- 00:48:33.758 --> 00:48:36.427
- I hope these conversations have kind of put an end to
- 00:48:36.427 --> 00:48:39.697
- That thinking.
- 00:48:39.697 --> 00:48:41.032
- And that instead what it's brought up is we put a real
- 00:48:41.032 --> 00:48:44.202
- Emphasis on really what we want is hearts that fear the lord and
- 00:48:44.202 --> 00:48:49.607
- When we fear the lord, whether it's our children, whether it's
- 00:48:49.607 --> 00:48:52.643
- Our sons, our daughters, whether it's ourselves, when we fear the
- 00:48:52.643 --> 00:48:56.481
- Lord, when we choose to obey him, he will take the bent, and
- 00:48:56.481 --> 00:49:01.285
- The giftings, and the personalities, and he will begin
- 00:49:01.285 --> 00:49:04.589
- To put those into situations where the character that he's
- 00:49:04.589 --> 00:49:08.526
- Built in us can be shown.
- 00:49:08.526 --> 00:49:10.628
- And then people will be able to maybe look and go, oh, her
- 00:49:10.628 --> 00:49:12.997
- Children rise and call her blessed.
- 00:49:12.997 --> 00:49:14.966
- But it's really because she just walks with a fear of the lord
- 00:49:14.966 --> 00:49:17.869
- And a heart of obedience.
- 00:49:17.869 --> 00:49:19.570
- And so i just want to end on that.
- 00:49:19.570 --> 00:49:21.406
- I'm gonna pray us out, but it's been such a fun week.
- 00:49:21.406 --> 00:49:24.442
- Really, i always learn whenever i'm with you, girls.
- 00:49:24.442 --> 00:49:26.411
- God, we thank you.
- 00:49:26.411 --> 00:49:28.212
- We thank you that you gave us the scriptures never to put
- 00:49:28.212 --> 00:49:32.450
- Pressure on us, never to make us feel less than, but lord, to
- 00:49:32.450 --> 00:49:36.354
- Show us our value and worth is found in you.
- 00:49:36.354 --> 00:49:39.590
- You are everything.
- 00:49:39.590 --> 00:49:41.325
- And lord, when we put our hearts turned toward you, you help us,
- 00:49:41.325 --> 00:49:44.796
- Lord, walk out this calling and purpose in our life.
- 00:49:44.796 --> 00:49:47.298
- So lord, we just ask for every person this week that
- 00:49:47.298 --> 00:49:49.734
- Has watched.
- 00:49:49.734 --> 00:49:51.102
- Lord, that when they think about proverbs 31 and they meditate on
- 00:49:51.102 --> 00:49:53.971
- All 31 verses, lord, that you would do something in their
- 00:49:53.971 --> 00:49:57.275
- Hearts to show them exactly the the personal god that you are,
- 00:49:57.275 --> 00:50:01.913
- The personal nature that you have that god, each one of us
- 00:50:01.913 --> 00:50:05.316
- Can interpret and understand these scriptures in a way that
- 00:50:05.316 --> 00:50:07.852
- We can walk it out in a purposeful way without feeling
- 00:50:07.852 --> 00:50:10.588
- Pressure, without feeling like it's something that we have to
- 00:50:10.588 --> 00:50:14.659
- Do, but more something that we just can be.
- 00:50:14.659 --> 00:50:17.862
- So lord, we thank you for this week, thank you for all of
- 00:50:17.862 --> 00:50:20.264
- Your blessings.
- 00:50:20.264 --> 00:50:21.632
- And lord, we just pray for the person watching who needs to
- 00:50:21.632 --> 00:50:23.701
- Hear that you see them and you love them.
- 00:50:23.701 --> 00:50:26.070
- Lord, would you speak to them now, would you speak to their
- 00:50:26.070 --> 00:50:28.906
- Hearts, would you minister love to them right now.
- 00:50:28.906 --> 00:50:31.742
- In jesus's name.
- 00:50:31.742 --> 00:50:33.111
- Amen.
- 00:50:33.111 --> 00:50:34.479
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- Our team can pray for you.
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- 00:50:42.487 --> 00:50:44.755
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