Better Together

Stop Trying to Earn God's Love | Better Together Episode 1172

June 16, 2026 | S8 E1172 | 50:59

You don't have to earn what God has already given! Your value is not based on what you do for God. YOU are His child--already fully loved and accepted. He is more interested in the condition of your heart. | TBN Prayer Line: 714-731-1000

#Grace #IdentityinChrist #Freedom #Shame #Abuse #PersonalStory #Mentor #Culture #VoiceofGod #LoveofGod #ChildofGod #RestofGod #Surrender #Failure #NegativeThoughts #LaurieCrouch #SheilaWalsh #DonnaPisani #BlyndaLane

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Better Together | Stop Trying to Earn God's Love | Better Together Episode 1172 | June 16, 2026

I have good news for you today.
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There is no way to earn god's love.
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Your value is not tied up in your performance, your social
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Status, or your material possessions.
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God looks at your heart and he covers us with his grace.
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Come on, let's talk about that.
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♪♪
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When i was growing up, i remember being very different
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From the majority of the people around me.
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I grew up in seattle, washington, born and raised
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There, and i remember my-- english is my second language.
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And so cantonese is my first language.
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I know you can't tell, but i went to preschool and i
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Remember going to preschool and i didn't know any english.
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Oh. wow.
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So i, you know, as a child, you're confused.
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Your parents understand you.
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You understand them. also, you don't understand anything.
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And so i was in english as a second language all the way
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Through elementary school.
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But the first thing is you
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Don't understand what's going on.
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And then even as you start to understand,
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Because immersion, it helps,
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But i remember everything about us was different.
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We didn't have a lot of money.
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My mom worked really hard to make sure i was never hungry,
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But she made our lunches and i would go to school.
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And my dad was a part owner at a restaurant.
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And so we just made, you know, a lot of us did this, but our
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Parents put stuff in extra containers, old containers, you
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Know, that's just what we did.
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And so i would go to school and all the kids would have, you
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Know, their hot lunches or they would have fruit roll ups,
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Which delicious,
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But we didn't have that, you know, chinese american.
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And my mom packed our lunch and i remember, you know, pulling
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It out and the kids would be like, oh, that looks funny.
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That smells funny.
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And what is that?
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You know, just a lot of immigrant kids kind of
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Grow up with this.
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But i do remember growing up and thinking like, i don't
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Fit in, i don't belong.
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I wasn't necessarily invited to sleepovers or even a lot of
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Birthday parties.
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And then i felt embarrassed at one point to invite people over
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To my house too, because the
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Food smells a different way or whatever.
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And i was kind of ashamed of who i was.
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Like, there's just a little bit of self-hatred for a long time.
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And i've had to come into
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Who i am and understanding and believing,
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No, like there's a lot of
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Beauty in all of how i was created,
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The diversity and the differences.
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And i've learned to love my culture after i grew up and
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Went through a lot of therapy and just also seeing how rich
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Having multiple cultures, a chinese culture and an american
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Culture come together.
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And i get an experience that i don't usually get.
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And then on top of all of that,
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We're like first generation believers.
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My mother became a christian when my godmother
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Invited her to church finally. i think i was three,
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So none of her family before that, none of my father's
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Family before that.
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Still, to this day, i don't think really anybody. just us.
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And so i get to see
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Now, of course, you know, many decades later of how all of
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That insecurity and how all of those parts of me that didn't
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Understand my self-worth or felt like i didn't have any
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Social status or, uh, didn't have any material possessions
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Because we didn't have money,
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Just how i felt so less than for so long now actually gives
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Me an understanding into others, because i've had this
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Rich cultural experience that i didn't value before.
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And so i wonder, actually for viewers and also for you, what
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Are some of the things that you have in your life kind of gone
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Through something feeling like that wasn't valuable and maybe
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Someone else helped you kind of see the value in the worth in
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That in, in your life now?
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You know, it's so funny when-- i've had a job since i was 14.
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You know, because my dad died by suicide, my mom's income was
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Very limited.
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It was a widow's pension, so i
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Would have one pair of good shoes.
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She called them good shoes.
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I called them ugly shoes.
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They were, you know, just black lace up shoes.
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And everybody else would have the pretty ones.
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And so i started on a saturday taking a saturday job so that i
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Could earn some money, so that i could buy something
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That was a little bit nice.
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And my mom's work ethic was so incredible.
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I mean, our house was always spotless.
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She worked hard everything she did.
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And so that became me.
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I mean, i worked in a restaurant, i worked in a hotel
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Making up beds.
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I worked in a senior center cleaning toilets.
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And i'm telling you, there was not a cleaner toilet in
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Scotland than the ones--
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I mean, i cleaned those things so they were shining and never
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Thought about what anybody else was doing.
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My problem started when i got into ministry.
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Yeah.
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Because the interesting thing is, i mean, nobody's coming
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Over and saying, yeah, your toilet is cleaner than mine.
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I mean, you're just doing your job.
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Yeah, but suddenly you're in ministry and people are like
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Comparing what you're doing to what somebody else is doing.
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And that became the big challenge for me then,
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But what helped me was colossians 3:23.
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I love this. work willingly at whatever you do, as though you
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Were working for the lord rather than for people.
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Yeah. because i think the number of people that are
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Friends or family who watch this, who, you know, some
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People get a lot of applause and a lot of recognition, and
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Some people do the same stuff over and over and over, and
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Nobody even notices.
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But i just want to remind
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People that heaven misses nothing.
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Yeah. when we are doing-- because you can be in the worst
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Job in the world, but when you're saying,
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You know what, lord, i'm going to do this for your
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Glory, that heaven misses nothing.
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So there are several indicators that you have fallen into the
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Comparison trap, i would call it.
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Um, and that is this, is that if you're constantly feeling like
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Somebody else is further along than you are.
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Now, here's what i want you to understand.
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Comparison can be good and it can be used to build you, or it
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Can be wrong and it can be used to deplete you.
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Good comparison is if i'm going to go get a car, i'm going to
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Compare the prices.
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If somebody else is doing something great, i'm going to
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Go hear how they've done it.
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But if comparison leads you down a road where you start
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Feeling like you're not enough and you'll never do that, and
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You want to-- or you want to just totally do what they're
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Doing, then it has become a
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Weapon the enemy uses against you.
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So if you are constantly looking at others to be your
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Affirmation or constantly looking at others and trying to
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Be them, then you've fallen into a comparison trap because
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Who god's created you to be is uniquely you.
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It's going to be fit with your experiences, with your gifts,
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With your weaknesses.
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All of that is part of who you are.
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So don't try to hide it anymore.
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We all need the you, the unique you that god created you to be.
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And are you ever going to feel
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Like you fit into a specific space?
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Probably. maybe not, but that's okay.
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Be who god created you to be.
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It's so funny because to go back to high school
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Conversation or high school talk, you know, at my age kind
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Of seems kind of funny.
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But at the time it was the whole thing.
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But i had tried out for cheerleader.
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I have a pretty bubbly personality.
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I thought i'd be a great cheerleader.
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I think you would, too.
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Yeah. yeah.
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Thank you. i did too.
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Can you tell the judges? i would hire you.
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Yeah.
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So apparently, that was kind of on the cusp of cheerleading
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Where you actually had to be gifted at it.
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You had to be able to,
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You had to be able to tumble and jump.
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And i couldn't do any of that.
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I just could yell and cheer you on.
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That did not cut it.
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So in high school, i tried out for cheerleader.
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I guess my junior or senior year and didn't make it and
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Just kind of thought, man, what am i going to do?
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I mean, i want to do something in high school, but what am i
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Going to do?
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Well, they had started advertising for our city, which
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Is a smaller city.
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I didn't grow up in a huge metroplex, but a smaller city,
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They were starting a news broadcast that was going to be
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On the cable stations, and it was for the school district.
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So i thought, well, i don't
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Know, i'll just try that or whatever.
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And anyway, through this little thing that they did in our city
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Every night, i did the the high school news for the
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Whole city. i got to be, we had a game show.
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I mean, it was a whole thing. they did a whole thing.
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I got to be the game show host.
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And it's so silly to think back now.
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But what's so crazy is i had no
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Aspirations to do anything with television.
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I just fell into it because i didn't make cheerleader.
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Yeah, but i had no idea that god was planting some little
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Seeds that throughout my life, what really it was, it wasn't
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That, oh, now i'm going to be on tv.
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It was he was planting the seed that i really fell in love with
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The medium of television to proclaim the gospel.
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There's a lot of ways that god
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Uses for his gospel to go forth.
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And for me, he developed a love for the medium of
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Television to do that
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Having no idea how that would ever be used.
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But i sit here today and a lot of what i get to do is through
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The medium of television, to proclaim the name of jesus.
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And i think, wow, what seemed like a setback there, something
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That in high school, nobody was looking to be on the cable
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Channel to do the news.
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I'm sorry. nobody was.
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They were all wanting to be cheerleader.
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Right.
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At the time, but it was, so it was a setback, but it actually
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Set me up for something i wasn't looking for.
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And so i say that to say, i think in some ways, it's
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Allowing god to use the circumstances that you don't
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Even realize at the time are setting you up for something in
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Your future that is actually going to be the method or the
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Mechanism he uses for your gifting to share his gospel.
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Yeah.
00:10:00.345 --> 00:10:01.579
Leaning into our identity really does help us break free
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From our performance or our value of performance.
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Growing up, i only knew performance.
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I thought my worth was from how i showed up,
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What i did.
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Just excelling. excelling, excelling.
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But in the end, it didn't get me anything.
00:10:15.527 --> 00:10:18.263
And so it is really important to know our identity in jesus,
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Because it's rarely what we thought it was going to be.
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It is always going to be what he has created us for, and our
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Job is to figure out how to match up those skills and those
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Experiences to live out the calling he's given us.
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I love that you were the high school newscaster,
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But i love that you didn't even know that it was
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A gifting on your life. yeah.
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And i think god puts those desires in our heart.
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I'm so funny because when i was in high school, my notoriety
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Was class flirt.
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Oh. i know.
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Can you believe that?
00:10:52.697 --> 00:10:53.631
Have you used that donna, in your life?
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How has that been?
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No, i haven't used it.
00:10:58.236 --> 00:11:00.038
But back to what that worked in the reverse of was, well,
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That's all you'll ever be.
00:11:04.008 --> 00:11:05.176
And that goes back to the sexual abuse of being told
00:11:05.176 --> 00:11:08.546
Two lies.
00:11:08.546 --> 00:11:09.414
First, i was too beautiful to resist.
00:11:09.414 --> 00:11:11.649
Secondly, don't tell anybody.
00:11:11.649 --> 00:11:12.984
They won't believe you.
00:11:12.984 --> 00:11:13.852
So attached to those two lies was now
00:11:13.852 --> 00:11:16.621
I believed it to be the truth over my life.
00:11:16.621 --> 00:11:18.890
So first of all, beauty is painful.
00:11:18.890 --> 00:11:21.392
So don't ever--
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If somebody would tell me i was beautiful, i'd be like,
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Oh no, no, i'm --
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Or i did something good. oh oh, whatever.
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I could never receive it.
00:11:26.998 --> 00:11:28.433
The second thing was that i didn't have a voice.
00:11:28.433 --> 00:11:30.401
Nobody wanted to hear me.
00:11:30.401 --> 00:11:31.770
So then you fast forward, i'm
00:11:31.770 --> 00:11:33.037
In high school and i get class flirt.
00:11:33.037 --> 00:11:34.839
How many of us save that as our
00:11:34.839 --> 00:11:37.208
The defining moment of our life?
00:11:37.208 --> 00:11:39.377
And it was never meant to define us.
00:11:39.377 --> 00:11:41.446
Our identity is not wrapped around the bad things that
00:11:41.446 --> 00:11:45.049
Happened, or even the good things that happened.
00:11:45.049 --> 00:11:47.752
God uses all of it.
00:11:47.752 --> 00:11:49.020
Now, when i tell that story of how i was sexually abused, i
00:11:49.020 --> 00:11:51.856
Have seen hundreds of men and women set free from the shame
00:11:51.856 --> 00:11:55.794
That has kept that lie silent.
00:11:55.794 --> 00:11:57.962
And so what was meant to
00:11:57.962 --> 00:11:59.430
Intimidate me became an indicator.
00:11:59.430 --> 00:12:01.533
But at the end of the day, all of that wrapped up into me
00:12:01.533 --> 00:12:05.103
Having this feeling that i had to earn something from god in
00:12:05.103 --> 00:12:09.274
Order for him to be pleased with me.
00:12:09.274 --> 00:12:10.742
I never felt-- i felt dirty, i wasn't pleasing him, and if i
00:12:10.742 --> 00:12:14.112
Didn't fast, pray, get in the word,
00:12:14.112 --> 00:12:16.648
And i felt like the spiritual disciplines were to please god
00:12:16.648 --> 00:12:20.351
And didn't realize i was already pleasing him.
00:12:20.351 --> 00:12:23.021
All they did was help shape me
00:12:23.021 --> 00:12:25.723
To get to know who he already was.
00:12:25.723 --> 00:12:29.127
Now that i'm older, i recognize what a gift it was in my life
00:12:29.127 --> 00:12:33.565
To have someone when i was younger that really spoke into
00:12:33.565 --> 00:12:36.935
Me, that really took me under their wing, and i was so
00:12:36.935 --> 00:12:40.305
Blessed to be mentored by a woman named valerie.
00:12:40.305 --> 00:12:44.576
And valerie was,
00:12:44.576 --> 00:12:46.578
I love her personality because she's a get-it-done girl.
00:12:46.578 --> 00:12:49.781
She is, um, servant at the
00:12:49.781 --> 00:12:53.318
Heart, at the core of who she is.
00:12:53.318 --> 00:12:55.119
But she's also kind of a
00:12:55.119 --> 00:12:56.521
No nonsense, like this is the truth.
00:12:56.521 --> 00:12:58.389
Let's go with it. let's go.
00:12:58.389 --> 00:12:59.691
So this was so good for me when i was younger to have someone
00:12:59.691 --> 00:13:01.726
Like that, because, you know, here i am, maybe a teenager and
00:13:01.726 --> 00:13:04.896
I'm caught up in, you know,
00:13:04.896 --> 00:13:07.632
Vanity and boys and all these things.
00:13:07.632 --> 00:13:10.168
And she's trying to hone in and get into my heart.
00:13:10.168 --> 00:13:13.371
And what i love about her is she's like, okay, these are
00:13:13.371 --> 00:13:16.107
Going to be the truths that we're going to live by,
00:13:16.107 --> 00:13:18.076
Blynda. you're going to
00:13:18.076 --> 00:13:19.010
Understand who you are in christ,
00:13:19.010 --> 00:13:21.012
Your identity.
00:13:21.012 --> 00:13:22.180
We're going to also learn that it's serving that we
00:13:22.180 --> 00:13:24.883
Have been called to do.
00:13:24.883 --> 00:13:26.417
And here as a teenager, i'm thinking, you know, i just kind
00:13:26.417 --> 00:13:30.088
Of want to be popular and have fluff in my life.
00:13:30.088 --> 00:13:33.925
And i had somebody calling me to deeper things.
00:13:33.925 --> 00:13:36.394
I did not recognize what a gift that was until i was older.
00:13:36.394 --> 00:13:40.298
But she set me on a path that truly, even today, i mean, i
00:13:40.298 --> 00:13:44.936
Still keep in touch with her.
00:13:44.936 --> 00:13:46.304
Like i love her, and i'm indebted to all the ways that
00:13:46.304 --> 00:13:49.641
She spoke into my life.
00:13:49.641 --> 00:13:50.875
But the thing that she pointed out to me is our service
00:13:50.875 --> 00:13:54.212
To god never ends.
00:13:54.212 --> 00:13:56.014
So we have to start developing in us at the age that you're at
00:13:56.014 --> 00:13:59.517
Right now, start developing in you the heart to love the lord
00:13:59.517 --> 00:14:04.355
With all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind,
00:14:04.355 --> 00:14:07.091
And then continue finding ways to serve him in your community
00:14:07.091 --> 00:14:12.230
And in your world, in your church.
00:14:12.230 --> 00:14:15.366
Because this is what the christian life is.
00:14:15.366 --> 00:14:17.635
It is two parts.
00:14:17.635 --> 00:14:18.903
It's loving him vertically and loving others horizontally.
00:14:18.903 --> 00:14:23.241
And i just really appreciate what valerie, how she spoke.
00:14:23.241 --> 00:14:27.278
She spoke so many things that i'm not even touching on today,
00:14:27.278 --> 00:14:30.181
But those were the things that i remember the most where she
00:14:30.181 --> 00:14:33.184
Just basically, uh, focused on me having a real authentic
00:14:33.184 --> 00:14:40.191
Relationship with jesus because she knew if i had a real
00:14:40.191 --> 00:14:43.561
Authentic relationship with jesus, no matter where life
00:14:43.561 --> 00:14:46.564
Took me, i would be blessed.
00:14:46.564 --> 00:14:49.634
My identity is not found in who i am, but whose i am.
00:14:49.634 --> 00:14:52.537
Right? absolutely.
00:14:52.537 --> 00:14:53.538
I will always be cliff orndorff's daughter.
00:14:53.538 --> 00:14:57.041
Mhm. nothing in this world will ever change that.
00:14:57.041 --> 00:15:02.513
Past, present, future,
00:15:02.513 --> 00:15:04.048
I am cliff orndorff's daughter.
00:15:04.048 --> 00:15:07.051
We are god's children.
00:15:07.051 --> 00:15:09.520
I am god's daughter.
00:15:09.520 --> 00:15:11.622
Nothing in this world, no circumstance, nothing is ever
00:15:11.622 --> 00:15:17.261
Going to change that.
00:15:17.261 --> 00:15:19.097
I can't earn it.
00:15:19.097 --> 00:15:20.732
I can't be good enough.
00:15:20.732 --> 00:15:22.533
I just am.
00:15:22.533 --> 00:15:23.534
Yeah, yeah.
00:15:23.534 --> 00:15:24.702
You know, and when we realize that that's who we are.
00:15:24.702 --> 00:15:28.172
Can't do anything--
00:15:28.172 --> 00:15:29.007
We can't do anything about that.
00:15:29.007 --> 00:15:30.508
So i don't have to do anything to get it.
00:15:30.508 --> 00:15:33.878
And i can't be bad enough to not receive it.
00:15:33.878 --> 00:15:39.283
There's so many verses in scripture that make it so clear
00:15:39.283 --> 00:15:43.087
That we cannot and do not need to earn god's love.
00:15:43.087 --> 00:15:46.090
Even if you look at one of the best known one john 3:16, for
00:15:46.090 --> 00:15:49.527
God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son,
00:15:49.527 --> 00:15:54.532
That whosoever believes in him should not perish but have
00:15:54.532 --> 00:15:57.769
Everlasting life.
00:15:57.769 --> 00:15:59.137
This was god's idea.
00:15:59.137 --> 00:16:00.938
If you don't have a bible, i really recommend you
00:16:00.938 --> 00:16:03.608
Get hold of one and read the new testament.
00:16:03.608 --> 00:16:05.676
So many verses make it really clear that jesus has already
00:16:05.676 --> 00:16:09.881
Paid the price on the cross.
00:16:09.881 --> 00:16:12.450
When he cried out, it is finished!
00:16:12.450 --> 00:16:14.519
He was saying, i paid sheila walsh's bill in full.
00:16:14.519 --> 00:16:18.056
You put your name in there too, because he did it all.
00:16:18.056 --> 00:16:25.263
Understanding your freedom in christ is so essential because
00:16:28.900 --> 00:16:32.537
It's very difficult to help somebody else be free if you're
00:16:32.537 --> 00:16:35.640
Not free first.
00:16:35.640 --> 00:16:37.008
So i would encourage you to do whatever you can.
00:16:37.008 --> 00:16:39.544
Read the bible, spend some time talking to jesus, invite him
00:16:39.544 --> 00:16:43.281
Into your life
00:16:43.281 --> 00:16:44.549
Because for me personally, i don't want you living as long
00:16:44.549 --> 00:16:47.018
As i did without experiencing the true freedom that jesus
00:16:47.018 --> 00:16:50.254
Already paid for.
00:16:50.254 --> 00:16:52.924
God wants us to do life
00:16:52.924 --> 00:16:54.258
Together because we are better together.
00:16:54.258 --> 00:16:56.894
Connect with us on social media and join a community that
00:16:56.894 --> 00:16:59.297
Encourages and prays for one another.
00:16:59.297 --> 00:17:01.966
We can't wait for you to join us.
00:17:01.966 --> 00:17:05.670
Let's keep the conversation going.
00:17:05.670 --> 00:17:07.939
You can find the better together podcast on your
00:17:07.939 --> 00:17:10.241
Favorite listening platform.
00:17:10.241 --> 00:17:12.110
Subscribe today.
00:17:12.110 --> 00:17:15.999
Subscribe today.
00:17:15.999 --> 00:17:20.586
I think sometimes we get caught up in thinking that god has a
00:17:24.223 --> 00:17:27.426
Kind of like a to do list for us that, you know, we're
00:17:27.426 --> 00:17:30.062
Supposed to be doing this and that and that for him rather
00:17:30.062 --> 00:17:32.798
Than who we are in him.
00:17:32.798 --> 00:17:34.800
I remember when i was in seminary telling one of my
00:17:34.800 --> 00:17:36.969
Professors i was going to leave because i felt what i was
00:17:36.969 --> 00:17:39.605
Learning was not relevant to the people dying in the world.
00:17:39.605 --> 00:17:42.774
And he said, sheila, have you ever considered that god is
00:17:42.774 --> 00:17:45.811
More interested in what he's doing in you than what he might
00:17:45.811 --> 00:17:48.814
Want to do through you?
00:17:48.814 --> 00:17:50.182
So if you find yourself in one
00:17:50.182 --> 00:17:51.450
Of those places, don't hurry on.
00:17:51.450 --> 00:17:53.552
Wait and see what god's doing.
00:17:53.552 --> 00:17:56.088
I think this is a stereotype, but it's very true.
00:17:59.558 --> 00:18:02.361
As an asian american, it's like your grades have to be a's.
00:18:02.361 --> 00:18:04.963
An a- is an f.
00:18:04.963 --> 00:18:06.832
Uh, i took piano, i took violin.
00:18:06.832 --> 00:18:09.301
I am the whole stereotype, right?
00:18:09.301 --> 00:18:11.003
But also, as women, we are we've always had to, like,
00:18:11.003 --> 00:18:14.072
Show up more, right?
00:18:14.072 --> 00:18:15.741
And so with each kind of layering of challenges, it gets
00:18:15.741 --> 00:18:19.511
Harder and harder and harder.
00:18:19.511 --> 00:18:20.746
And so i remember when i was younger, i think i was maybe
00:18:20.746 --> 00:18:24.416
Seven. i was seven, my friends, seven, and i was sitting at my
00:18:24.416 --> 00:18:28.987
Piano and practicing piano.
00:18:28.987 --> 00:18:31.356
And my mom very, very strict, but like i was practicing and
00:18:31.356 --> 00:18:34.860
It was getting late.
00:18:34.860 --> 00:18:36.795
And what can you do at seven
00:18:36.795 --> 00:18:39.798
Really, when you think about it?
00:18:39.798 --> 00:18:40.999
Right? and this is therapy helping me.
00:18:40.999 --> 00:18:42.801
But she would time me to practice and if i stopped, she
00:18:42.801 --> 00:18:46.171
Would stop the clock. wow.
00:18:46.171 --> 00:18:47.706
Right? and at that time,
00:18:47.706 --> 00:18:49.241
I mean, i'm not, i wasn't a super gifted--
00:18:49.241 --> 00:18:52.444
I was already like, compared to so many of her friends who were
00:18:52.444 --> 00:18:55.814
Honestly, like geniuses.
00:18:55.814 --> 00:18:57.883
And so i was just trying to practice and go to bed.
00:18:57.883 --> 00:19:00.819
And i don't know how late it was because i was seven, but i
00:19:00.819 --> 00:19:04.022
Ended up just laying down on
00:19:04.022 --> 00:19:06.491
The piano bench and falling asleep.
00:19:06.491 --> 00:19:08.860
[gasps of sadness] i know, i know. i was seven.
00:19:08.860 --> 00:19:12.331
Just a little lamb.
00:19:12.331 --> 00:19:13.498
I know, and i look at kids now.
00:19:13.498 --> 00:19:15.033
I'm like, that should never have happened.
00:19:15.033 --> 00:19:16.835
Right? right.
00:19:16.835 --> 00:19:18.003
And but then the next day we find out i'm very ill.
00:19:18.003 --> 00:19:21.607
Like i was so sick.
00:19:21.607 --> 00:19:23.041
Like, like i remember i think i
00:19:23.041 --> 00:19:25.077
Was in bed for a week after that.
00:19:25.077 --> 00:19:27.112
I don't know if it was flu.
00:19:27.112 --> 00:19:27.779
I don't know what it was.
00:19:27.779 --> 00:19:28.814
It might have been chicken pox. i'm not sure.
00:19:28.814 --> 00:19:30.449
Whichever way, i know my mom felt bad after that, but that
00:19:30.449 --> 00:19:34.086
Was a defining moment in my life of like, what i do, how i
00:19:34.086 --> 00:19:37.489
Practice, how i show up is my worth.
00:19:37.489 --> 00:19:40.525
And so in ephesians chapter two, starting in verse eight
00:19:40.525 --> 00:19:44.129
Says, for by grace you have been saved through faith.
00:19:44.129 --> 00:19:46.098
And this is not your own doing.
00:19:46.098 --> 00:19:47.966
It is the gift of god, not a result of works, so that
00:19:47.966 --> 00:19:50.369
No one may boast.
00:19:50.369 --> 00:19:51.903
For we are his workmanship, created in christ jesus for
00:19:51.903 --> 00:19:55.240
Good works, which god prepared beforehand, and we should
00:19:55.240 --> 00:19:58.510
Walk in them.
00:19:58.510 --> 00:19:59.778
And i don't know how many of us have these stories that are
00:19:59.778 --> 00:20:01.647
Defining moments that are lies.
00:20:01.647 --> 00:20:04.283
They're not truth.
00:20:04.283 --> 00:20:05.717
It's not what our value comes from. right.
00:20:05.717 --> 00:20:09.121
And i still remember that story. that does not define me
00:20:09.121 --> 00:20:12.257
Anymore, but i remember it.
00:20:12.257 --> 00:20:14.393
So when my version of it today happens, i can say, nope,
00:20:14.393 --> 00:20:18.563
That's not what defines me. so good.
00:20:18.563 --> 00:20:20.432
Not a b, not an a, not an f.
00:20:20.432 --> 00:20:22.501
It doesn't really matter if i don't practice right now.
00:20:22.501 --> 00:20:24.736
What am i supposed to be doing?
00:20:24.736 --> 00:20:25.771
How am i loving others?
00:20:25.771 --> 00:20:26.838
How am i showing up for the image of god?
00:20:26.838 --> 00:20:30.108
I am always loved. exactly right.
00:20:30.108 --> 00:20:32.477
I am always god's daughter.
00:20:32.477 --> 00:20:36.048
I love that that scripture says we're god's workmanship, right?
00:20:36.048 --> 00:20:39.217
Not that we've done it.
00:20:39.217 --> 00:20:40.252
We didn't do anything. we didn't do anything.
00:20:40.252 --> 00:20:42.020
He's the one that's promised to
00:20:42.020 --> 00:20:43.955
Complete the work he'd begun in us.
00:20:43.955 --> 00:20:45.691
Yeah i probably spent 20 to 30 years striving, struggling,
00:20:45.691 --> 00:20:53.799
Judging myself, trying to be better,
00:20:53.799 --> 00:20:56.234
Trying to be perfect.
00:20:56.234 --> 00:20:57.703
And on days when things went well,
00:20:57.703 --> 00:20:59.237
I thought god loved me more.
00:20:59.237 --> 00:21:00.739
And on days when i felt like i didn't do very well, i thought
00:21:00.739 --> 00:21:03.442
God loved me less.
00:21:03.442 --> 00:21:05.110
One of the greatest freedoms in my life now is knowing that god
00:21:05.110 --> 00:21:09.381
Does not change. we do.
00:21:09.381 --> 00:21:11.116
I do. you know, every morning i wake up in a slightly different
00:21:11.116 --> 00:21:14.653
Mood than i was the day before.
00:21:14.653 --> 00:21:16.355
God does not change. if you feel it right now that perhaps where
00:21:16.355 --> 00:21:20.759
You're at, god doesn't love you as much,
00:21:20.759 --> 00:21:22.461
I want you to know that's not true.
00:21:22.461 --> 00:21:24.262
He loves you because of the finished work of jesus.
00:21:24.262 --> 00:21:27.566
You are seen, you are loved, and you are held.
00:21:27.566 --> 00:21:31.570
I think there is this idea that something, a story like that
00:21:31.570 --> 00:21:35.841
Can create in you this works mentality where we're just
00:21:35.841 --> 00:21:39.211
Supposed to rest in who god made us.
00:21:39.211 --> 00:21:41.380
But then sometimes, maybe this is my,
00:21:41.380 --> 00:21:43.782
Sometimes more
00:21:43.782 --> 00:21:45.050
My default is i can rest so much in who god made me that i
00:21:45.050 --> 00:21:48.754
Don't know where my role is to participate and partner with
00:21:48.754 --> 00:21:52.424
Him to fulfill the purpose that he has for me.
00:21:52.424 --> 00:21:55.060
So it's this tension that sometimes i feel that i don't
00:21:55.060 --> 00:21:57.929
Want to have my identity wrapped up in what i do, and i
00:21:57.929 --> 00:22:01.333
Don't want it-- but i also don't want to be apathetic and not
00:22:01.333 --> 00:22:05.370
Work out all that he has for me to do while
00:22:05.370 --> 00:22:07.706
I'm on this earth. yeah.
00:22:07.706 --> 00:22:09.341
I honestly believe that's where the holy spirit comes in.
00:22:09.341 --> 00:22:11.543
It talks in james about if anybody lacks wisdom, let him
00:22:11.543 --> 00:22:15.614
Ask the lord and he will give generously.
00:22:15.614 --> 00:22:18.049
Yeah. because i've learned that
00:22:18.049 --> 00:22:19.484
Yes and no are complete sentences.
00:22:19.484 --> 00:22:22.788
I don't have to unpack and explain them all.
00:22:22.788 --> 00:22:25.123
I mean, i remember somebody asking me to do something, but
00:22:25.123 --> 00:22:27.359
I'd already committed to do something with my son.
00:22:27.359 --> 00:22:29.828
She thought her thing was far more spiritual.
00:22:29.828 --> 00:22:31.930
And i'm like, no.
00:22:31.930 --> 00:22:33.231
I told my son, you know, he was maybe ten at the time, i would
00:22:33.231 --> 00:22:35.834
Be doing this.
00:22:35.834 --> 00:22:36.935
And she was like, what kind of christian are you?
00:22:36.935 --> 00:22:39.037
And i remember letting her walk away and thinking, i don't have
00:22:39.037 --> 00:22:42.641
To unpack this anymore.
00:22:42.641 --> 00:22:44.209
You know, it's just the holy spirit will give us wisdom.
00:22:44.209 --> 00:22:47.779
And i wish i'd known that a lot earlier in life.
00:22:47.779 --> 00:22:50.649
I mean, i know it's in the word and i must have read it, but i
00:22:50.649 --> 00:22:53.485
Think i just thought it was a nice verse to, to read as
00:22:53.485 --> 00:22:56.588
Opposed to i do that all the time.
00:22:56.588 --> 00:22:59.324
There is not a day in my life that i don't ask god for
00:22:59.324 --> 00:23:02.627
Wisdom and understanding.
00:23:02.627 --> 00:23:04.329
I find myself in a situation which is not what i expected,
00:23:04.329 --> 00:23:07.899
Holy spirit, give me
00:23:07.899 --> 00:23:08.800
Understanding and give me wisdom.
00:23:08.800 --> 00:23:10.602
Which is so good too, because
00:23:10.602 --> 00:23:11.803
I know we talked maybe yesterday about the word
00:23:11.803 --> 00:23:13.905
Assignment and it's like, how do you know if an assignment is
00:23:13.905 --> 00:23:17.275
From the lord, or if it's just because you feel obligated to
00:23:17.275 --> 00:23:20.712
Do something without asking him, without hearing from his
00:23:20.712 --> 00:23:24.115
Holy spirit, that this is an assignment i'm giving you.
00:23:24.115 --> 00:23:26.251
And then if it is, it's a wholehearted yes.
00:23:26.251 --> 00:23:29.020
And if it's this isn't an assignment,
00:23:29.020 --> 00:23:30.555
You're doing this out of pressure to to be liked or
00:23:30.555 --> 00:23:33.825
Fear of man or whatever,
00:23:33.825 --> 00:23:35.193
Then then that's a no.
00:23:35.193 --> 00:23:37.028
Yeah, it's really good.
00:23:37.028 --> 00:23:38.563
And there's no joy in that.
00:23:38.563 --> 00:23:40.098
You know, i wonder how many women there are out there who
00:23:40.098 --> 00:23:43.668
Say yes to things simply because they want to-- an
00:23:43.668 --> 00:23:47.572
Obligation and to keep everybody quiet.
00:23:47.572 --> 00:23:49.674
I still do.
00:23:49.674 --> 00:23:50.942
My question to you, though, is you said like, did you feel
00:23:50.942 --> 00:23:53.545
When you said no,
00:23:53.545 --> 00:23:55.313
Did you feel--
00:23:55.313 --> 00:23:56.615
I think i'm better at it now, but there's still times that i
00:23:56.615 --> 00:23:59.317
Feel terrible about it.
00:23:59.317 --> 00:24:00.685
But when you said no, were you just like, okay, like you were
00:24:00.685 --> 00:24:04.489
Fine with it?
00:24:04.489 --> 00:24:05.390
Did you have a little bit of like, oh?
00:24:05.390 --> 00:24:06.992
No, i honestly,
00:24:06.992 --> 00:24:08.260
I honestly, i wasn't, no, i wasn't even mad with the woman
00:24:08.260 --> 00:24:10.695
Because her whole thing was, she wanted me to hold a bible
00:24:10.695 --> 00:24:12.898
Study in my house, which i was willing to do,
00:24:12.898 --> 00:24:15.000
But she picked the night that
00:24:15.000 --> 00:24:16.101
My son and i were doing something.
00:24:16.101 --> 00:24:17.769
Well, first of all, she wanted
00:24:17.769 --> 00:24:18.870
To do it in your house and picked a night that--
00:24:18.870 --> 00:24:20.639
And then was upset. but she said she talked to all
00:24:20.639 --> 00:24:22.641
The neighbors and it worked for them.
00:24:22.641 --> 00:24:24.242
Well, that's nice.
00:24:24.242 --> 00:24:25.410
Yeah. but no, i didn't feel-- i wasn't angry with her.
00:24:25.410 --> 00:24:29.014
I could tell she was disappointed in me.
00:24:29.014 --> 00:24:31.616
Yeah. um, but i thought, no. to me, my responsibility as a
00:24:31.616 --> 00:24:36.388
Mom to keep my word toward my son--
00:24:36.388 --> 00:24:39.558
Yes.
00:24:39.558 --> 00:24:40.859
Was way more important than a bunch of my neighbors thinking,
00:24:40.859 --> 00:24:43.028
You know, i'm a holy person.
00:24:43.028 --> 00:24:45.463
I think the first step in getting freedom from really
00:24:45.463 --> 00:24:49.935
Looking for the approval of man,
00:24:49.935 --> 00:24:51.269
I would call it people pleasing,
00:24:51.269 --> 00:24:52.571
I lived by that for a long time in my life, and i still have to
00:24:52.571 --> 00:24:56.207
Be aware that that is a weapon the enemy uses against me, is
00:24:56.207 --> 00:25:00.946
That you are diligently daily looking to god
00:25:00.946 --> 00:25:05.584
And hearing what he says about you because he's
00:25:05.584 --> 00:25:08.520
Already approved you.
00:25:08.520 --> 00:25:09.821
So if you're hearing anything else, any other voices telling
00:25:09.821 --> 00:25:13.224
You, you have to do a, b, c, d to be approved by god,
00:25:13.224 --> 00:25:16.461
I can tell you right now, that's a lie from the pits of
00:25:16.461 --> 00:25:18.363
Hell, because anything god speaks has hope attached to it.
00:25:18.363 --> 00:25:21.633
Even when it's correction,
00:25:21.633 --> 00:25:22.801
When god speaks, there's hope attached to it.
00:25:22.801 --> 00:25:25.003
So any validation that you, that's going to fill your soul,
00:25:25.003 --> 00:25:29.007
That's going to transform you, that's going to change you, and
00:25:29.007 --> 00:25:31.977
Even change the way you think is going to come from god.
00:25:31.977 --> 00:25:34.479
So even if you google what the bible says-- i mean, really it's
00:25:34.479 --> 00:25:38.116
Better to just get in the bible.
00:25:38.116 --> 00:25:39.384
But even if you just start by googling, what does god say
00:25:39.384 --> 00:25:41.386
About me?
00:25:41.386 --> 00:25:42.687
Give me scripture and verse and then print it out and put it on
00:25:42.687 --> 00:25:44.889
Your mirror in the morning so that you're repeating that back
00:25:44.889 --> 00:25:47.025
To yourself when you, like, brush your teeth or put your
00:25:47.025 --> 00:25:49.294
Makeup on, it changes everything because you
00:25:49.294 --> 00:25:51.196
Can't stop a lie.
00:25:51.196 --> 00:25:52.564
You have to replace it with a truth.
00:25:52.564 --> 00:25:55.567
I also think it's the more you learn to be sensitive to the
00:25:55.567 --> 00:25:58.903
Holy spirit, the easier it becomes.
00:25:58.903 --> 00:26:01.506
So now if i hear a no, it's a super easy no because the times
00:26:01.506 --> 00:26:06.044
I've said yes when it was a no, the consequences were not worth,
00:26:06.044 --> 00:26:10.315
Not worth it, even if it just meant my personal exhaustion or
00:26:10.315 --> 00:26:14.686
I didn't have the bandwidth to do whatever it was.
00:26:14.686 --> 00:26:17.088
But now, the more you just-- and you may say yes or no to things
00:26:17.088 --> 00:26:21.259
That later you're like, maybe i shouldn't have done that.
00:26:21.259 --> 00:26:22.994
But you just learn as you go.
00:26:22.994 --> 00:26:24.496
And i think that it's practicing. with the brother
00:26:24.496 --> 00:26:26.998
Lawrence who says, practicing the presence of god.
00:26:26.998 --> 00:26:29.267
It's just practicing hearing the voice of god.
00:26:29.267 --> 00:26:31.636
And then for me, the quickest way i could learn to hear the
00:26:31.636 --> 00:26:35.273
Voice of god was when i first met jesus,
00:26:35.273 --> 00:26:38.076
My husband gave me a journal and a pen and said, now i want
00:26:38.076 --> 00:26:41.746
You to go ahead and pray and just write down whatever god
00:26:41.746 --> 00:26:44.182
Speaks to you.
00:26:44.182 --> 00:26:45.016
And, well, that was foreign to me.
00:26:45.016 --> 00:26:46.317
I was like, god speaks? like i didn't even-- we met like a week
00:26:46.317 --> 00:26:49.287
Later and he's like, okay, what have you written?
00:26:49.287 --> 00:26:50.889
I said nothing, he's not telling me anything.
00:26:50.889 --> 00:26:53.525
I haven't heard a thing.
00:26:53.525 --> 00:26:55.026
And because i don't know whether i thought it was going
00:26:55.026 --> 00:26:57.028
To be audible or whatever.
00:26:57.028 --> 00:26:58.296
So he said to me, he said, why don't you just every morning
00:26:58.296 --> 00:27:00.832
Get up and say, god, why don't
00:27:00.832 --> 00:27:01.966
You show me how much you love me?
00:27:01.966 --> 00:27:03.468
And then even if you think it's you talking to you,
00:27:03.468 --> 00:27:05.670
Write down what you hear.
00:27:05.670 --> 00:27:07.005
Oh, that's beautiful.
00:27:07.005 --> 00:27:08.139
And it was beautiful because that's, that began this
00:27:08.139 --> 00:27:10.675
Intimacy with jesus that wasn't based on what i did,
00:27:10.675 --> 00:27:13.878
But just who he was.
00:27:13.878 --> 00:27:16.047
And so every day-- and some days all i had was i went back and
00:27:16.047 --> 00:27:19.250
Found that journal a couple of years ago.
00:27:19.250 --> 00:27:21.352
And there are some pages that are just filled with, i love
00:27:21.352 --> 00:27:23.888
You because i love you, because i love you, because i love you.
00:27:23.888 --> 00:27:26.725
And it's the simplicity of just meeting jesus.
00:27:26.725 --> 00:27:29.527
But those days were shaping days for me.
00:27:29.527 --> 00:27:32.163
Yeah. that's amazing.
00:27:32.163 --> 00:27:33.398
It's like the when people say it's too good to be true,
00:27:33.398 --> 00:27:35.700
And the only thing in life that's not too good to be true
00:27:35.700 --> 00:27:37.902
Is believing how much god loves you.
00:27:37.902 --> 00:27:40.538
That performance, that toxic like you were talking about
00:27:40.538 --> 00:27:43.274
Growing up,
00:27:43.274 --> 00:27:44.008
Like i grew up in a performance
00:27:44.008 --> 00:27:45.276
Based, family performance based religion
00:27:45.276 --> 00:27:48.813
And then it bleeds into everything.
00:27:48.813 --> 00:27:51.116
And i think it's toxicity that we really-- like be alert to it.
00:27:51.116 --> 00:27:54.552
If something's telling you, you have to do something to please
00:27:54.552 --> 00:27:57.388
God, not you get to do that because he loves you,
00:27:57.388 --> 00:28:01.126
That's the defining definition between those two things.
00:28:01.126 --> 00:28:03.661
Don't you think?
00:28:03.661 --> 00:28:04.496
Our culture sets itself up for that
00:28:04.496 --> 00:28:06.498
Yeah.
00:28:06.498 --> 00:28:07.799
And even within the christian church, that we've set people up
00:28:07.799 --> 00:28:10.702
To expect things and to
00:28:10.702 --> 00:28:12.771
Overcome and do this and do that.
00:28:12.771 --> 00:28:14.506
I remember when christian was little, and he's smart.
00:28:14.506 --> 00:28:17.976
If i hadn't been there at his birth, i would doubt he's mine.
00:28:17.976 --> 00:28:20.345
He's really smart.
00:28:20.345 --> 00:28:21.880
And he came home with a report card and i looked at it
00:28:21.880 --> 00:28:24.682
And it was amazing.
00:28:24.682 --> 00:28:25.717
It was all a's, but he had a b
00:28:25.717 --> 00:28:28.019
In one thing and all he could see
00:28:28.019 --> 00:28:30.522
Was the b. was the b.
00:28:30.522 --> 00:28:32.223
I took a chair from the kitchen and i put it in the middle of
00:28:32.223 --> 00:28:34.526
The room and i said to him, i want you to sit there.
00:28:34.526 --> 00:28:37.362
And he sat down thinking, my mother is
00:28:37.362 --> 00:28:39.731
Totally losing the plot here.
00:28:39.731 --> 00:28:41.800
And i went upstairs to where we had this dress up box, and i
00:28:41.800 --> 00:28:45.170
Had feather boas and a plastic trumpet, and i came downstairs
00:28:45.170 --> 00:28:49.541
And i started marching around him and celebrating.
00:28:49.541 --> 00:28:52.010
And he's like, mom, what are you doing?
00:28:52.010 --> 00:28:54.379
And i'm like, darling, all you see is, is what you didn't get.
00:28:54.379 --> 00:28:58.449
Yeah. all i see is what you did.
00:28:58.449 --> 00:29:00.585
And it was amazing.
00:29:00.585 --> 00:29:02.020
You're such a good mom. oh.
00:29:02.020 --> 00:29:04.856
When we sit and can meditate on how much god loves us, it
00:29:04.856 --> 00:29:08.960
Changes our life because we see things differently.
00:29:08.960 --> 00:29:13.498
You know, we can we can meditate.
00:29:13.498 --> 00:29:16.334
And it's something that humbles us greatly.
00:29:16.334 --> 00:29:19.671
That humbles me to the core
00:29:19.671 --> 00:29:21.606
When i think that the god of the universe chose me, died for
00:29:21.606 --> 00:29:25.577
Me, loves me, calls me his own. man,
00:29:25.577 --> 00:29:28.947
That's humbling and empowering all at the same time.
00:29:28.947 --> 00:29:33.084
And so to sit in that and to-- and you kind of have to do it
00:29:33.084 --> 00:29:39.057
Every day, because sometimes i think it's easy to get lost on
00:29:39.057 --> 00:29:42.260
Us, and we get caught up in
00:29:42.260 --> 00:29:44.429
Doing things and thinking other things.
00:29:44.429 --> 00:29:46.097
And sometimes we just got to steel ourselves and say, okay,
00:29:46.097 --> 00:29:49.267
I just need to meditate on the love of god for a minute
00:29:49.267 --> 00:29:52.904
Because it changes everything about my disposition, the way
00:29:52.904 --> 00:29:56.107
I treat people,
00:29:56.107 --> 00:29:57.809
What i think about. it changes everything in my heart, in my
00:29:57.809 --> 00:30:01.546
Mind, and in my soul.
00:30:01.546 --> 00:30:04.015
You know, we teach people how to pray, especially here at tbn,
00:30:04.015 --> 00:30:08.553
From victory.
00:30:08.553 --> 00:30:09.687
Yes. instead of for victory.
00:30:09.687 --> 00:30:11.422
It's the same with acceptance.
00:30:11.422 --> 00:30:13.458
We work from being already accepted.
00:30:13.458 --> 00:30:16.895
Yeah. not for acceptance.
00:30:16.895 --> 00:30:18.930
And that changes the rules up here in your mind
00:30:18.930 --> 00:30:22.533
Where i'm already accepted, i'm already--
00:30:22.533 --> 00:30:24.936
I remember this story that, um,
00:30:24.936 --> 00:30:26.938
Max lucado, who i just love and adore,
00:30:26.938 --> 00:30:29.941
His daughter was going to
00:30:29.941 --> 00:30:31.576
School and she was just failing.
00:30:31.576 --> 00:30:34.412
She failed in one of these classes.
00:30:34.412 --> 00:30:37.415
And so she had asked him, would you come to my teachers
00:30:37.415 --> 00:30:42.020
Meeting with me?
00:30:42.020 --> 00:30:42.921
It was just her and the teacher.
00:30:42.921 --> 00:30:44.355
So max took his daughter and the teacher looked at her and
00:30:44.355 --> 00:30:47.525
She said, laura.
00:30:47.525 --> 00:30:48.660
She said, what if i already told you that you have
00:30:48.660 --> 00:30:50.528
An a in this class?
00:30:50.528 --> 00:30:52.597
She said, what?
00:30:52.597 --> 00:30:53.698
She said, i'm telling you, you already have an a.
00:30:53.698 --> 00:30:57.702
What do you think about that?
00:30:57.702 --> 00:30:58.937
How does that make you feel?
00:30:58.937 --> 00:31:00.204
She was i already have an a? you know, and it just changed.
00:31:00.204 --> 00:31:03.474
We already have an a. we're already accepted,
00:31:03.474 --> 00:31:07.378
You know, with god.
00:31:07.378 --> 00:31:08.646
We can't deny that.
00:31:08.646 --> 00:31:10.348
You know, i think so many times we base our life on that
00:31:10.348 --> 00:31:14.118
Applause, you know, and we live on that and we get addicted
00:31:14.118 --> 00:31:18.056
To the applause.
00:31:18.056 --> 00:31:19.157
And then when we miss the mark, we just spiral.
00:31:19.157 --> 00:31:21.726
Yeah. you know, because we think, boy, we've missed it,
00:31:21.726 --> 00:31:25.096
But not in god's eyes we haven't.
00:31:25.096 --> 00:31:27.298
Yeah. no.
00:31:27.298 --> 00:31:28.132
You know, we're always his child.
00:31:28.132 --> 00:31:30.468
Mhm. yeah.
00:31:30.468 --> 00:31:31.402
It's always, it's okay.
00:31:31.402 --> 00:31:33.104
You already have an a.
00:31:33.104 --> 00:31:34.372
Yeah, yeah.
00:31:34.372 --> 00:31:35.273
Get up. let's go.
00:31:35.273 --> 00:31:36.674
You know? that's beautiful.
00:31:36.674 --> 00:31:37.709
I love when people can get this early in their
00:31:37.709 --> 00:31:41.045
Age, that we,
00:31:41.045 --> 00:31:42.313
We say it all the time,
00:31:42.313 --> 00:31:44.048
We live for the audience of one.
00:31:44.048 --> 00:31:46.784
But truly, you know what i said about my dad,
00:31:46.784 --> 00:31:50.054
My dad is always going to be my dad.
00:31:50.054 --> 00:31:52.523
I'm always going to be cliff
00:31:52.523 --> 00:31:54.325
Orndorff's daughter now and for eternity.
00:31:54.325 --> 00:31:57.161
I am cliff orndorff's daughter here on earth,
00:31:57.161 --> 00:32:00.431
But something that even trumps that is god is my father.
00:32:00.431 --> 00:32:05.803
I am a child of the living god and nothing is ever
00:32:05.803 --> 00:32:10.174
Going to change that.
00:32:10.174 --> 00:32:12.343
It's always going to be your story.
00:32:12.343 --> 00:32:14.812
You are a child of the most high god.
00:32:14.812 --> 00:32:18.182
He loves you. you're accepted.
00:32:18.182 --> 00:32:21.019
You already have the name written across your heart.
00:32:21.019 --> 00:32:25.123
You already have an a in the class.
00:32:25.123 --> 00:32:27.658
You're all already victorious.
00:32:27.658 --> 00:32:30.361
You're already accepted.
00:32:30.361 --> 00:32:32.363
You're already loved.
00:32:32.363 --> 00:32:34.932
You've got everything going for you right now, and to just
00:32:34.932 --> 00:32:38.403
Realize that and live with that and meditate in that, that i am
00:32:38.403 --> 00:32:42.740
A child of god and nothing can ever separate me
00:32:42.740 --> 00:32:45.543
From the love of god.
00:32:45.543 --> 00:32:48.146
John 1:12 says, yet to all who received him, to those who
00:32:48.146 --> 00:32:52.216
Believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of
00:32:52.216 --> 00:32:56.788
God, children born not of natural descent, nor of human
00:32:56.788 --> 00:33:00.691
Decision or a husband's will, but born of god.
00:33:00.691 --> 00:33:04.729
I mean, when you think of it in terms like that, i mean,
00:33:04.729 --> 00:33:07.532
We're born of god.
00:33:07.532 --> 00:33:08.599
We're children of god.
00:33:08.599 --> 00:33:10.501
I mean, you sit in that identity.
00:33:10.501 --> 00:33:13.371
And how different would it be if we, everything that we did
00:33:13.371 --> 00:33:16.974
Came from that, that i'm walking into this, you know,
00:33:16.974 --> 00:33:21.112
School or i'm walking into this arena or whatever god puts me
00:33:21.112 --> 00:33:25.183
And i'm coming from a place of, i'm his child.
00:33:25.183 --> 00:33:29.554
I'm already accepted.
00:33:29.554 --> 00:33:31.355
It's funny that we were even saying this because it is to,
00:33:31.355 --> 00:33:34.725
Some of it is maybe some personality bent, because me
00:33:34.725 --> 00:33:38.129
And my sister in law have different personalities, and
00:33:38.129 --> 00:33:40.364
She's a little bit more introverted.
00:33:40.364 --> 00:33:42.033
And we used to talk about that.
00:33:42.033 --> 00:33:43.668
I would walk into a room and i would just assume everybody in
00:33:43.668 --> 00:33:48.673
That room loves me.
00:33:48.673 --> 00:33:51.375
And i would just assume i-- we do! we do.
00:33:51.375 --> 00:33:55.113
And i loved everybody.
00:33:55.113 --> 00:33:56.581
And the reason being, not because of anything me. it was
00:33:56.581 --> 00:33:59.217
Just how i thought of why,
00:33:59.217 --> 00:34:00.651
Why wouldn't i love everybody
00:34:00.651 --> 00:34:02.153
And why wouldn't everybody love me?
00:34:02.153 --> 00:34:03.588
Like what? what?
00:34:03.588 --> 00:34:04.789
Do i have to do something to-- like, what standard do
00:34:04.789 --> 00:34:08.426
You guys all have that i would have to do something
00:34:08.426 --> 00:34:09.894
To earn your love.
00:34:09.894 --> 00:34:10.628
Like we just love each other.
00:34:10.628 --> 00:34:11.796
And that's not how she would walk into a room.
00:34:11.796 --> 00:34:14.232
She would walk into a room and say, i'll find two people that,
00:34:14.232 --> 00:34:16.601
That i might want to like in my life, you know?
00:34:16.601 --> 00:34:19.737
But it's that idea and not from vain,
00:34:19.737 --> 00:34:22.707
Like, i think everybody likes me.
00:34:22.707 --> 00:34:23.975
It was more of a pure thought of why--
00:34:23.975 --> 00:34:26.878
You like everybody.
00:34:26.878 --> 00:34:28.513
You love everybody.
00:34:28.513 --> 00:34:29.280
I love everybody.
00:34:29.280 --> 00:34:30.248
What if we could all have a dose of that
00:34:30.248 --> 00:34:32.250
Would we think about how god thinks of us?
00:34:32.250 --> 00:34:34.552
Yeah. yeah.
00:34:34.552 --> 00:34:35.319
Why wouldn't he love us?
00:34:35.319 --> 00:34:36.554
He created us.
00:34:36.554 --> 00:34:37.655
Yeah. we're his children.
00:34:37.655 --> 00:34:38.890
We don't have to do anything.
00:34:38.890 --> 00:34:40.158
I mean, i'm a mom and now a grandmother.
00:34:40.158 --> 00:34:42.660
Yeah. and i'm telling you, if you think from a parental--
00:34:42.660 --> 00:34:47.165
Right. love perspective,
00:34:47.165 --> 00:34:48.933
My kids don't have to do anything to earn my love.
00:34:48.933 --> 00:34:52.069
Right.
00:34:52.069 --> 00:34:53.337
Nothing. and i do love it when they, you know, do something
00:34:53.337 --> 00:34:56.207
That they're, they've put in hard work and they're proud of
00:34:56.207 --> 00:34:59.210
Their work.
00:34:59.210 --> 00:34:59.877
And so i can applaud that.
00:34:59.877 --> 00:35:01.179
Right. but it doesn't change if the outcome had been different.
00:35:01.179 --> 00:35:04.348
It doesn't change my love for them.
00:35:04.348 --> 00:35:06.050
So we should operate out of that all the time.
00:35:06.050 --> 00:35:09.887
I think seeing ourselves through god's eyes is always
00:35:09.887 --> 00:35:12.623
Hard because we aren't god, but i think we can maybe emulate it
00:35:12.623 --> 00:35:17.061
In seeing the people or the things that we love most in
00:35:17.061 --> 00:35:20.364
This world, and transferring just even a portion of that to
00:35:20.364 --> 00:35:24.635
How god might see us.
00:35:24.635 --> 00:35:26.103
And so we can imagine the thing that you love the most, the
00:35:26.103 --> 00:35:29.240
Moment you love the most, the person you love the most in all
00:35:29.240 --> 00:35:32.109
Of its perfection.
00:35:32.109 --> 00:35:33.477
That's how god feels about you.
00:35:33.477 --> 00:35:36.013
So don't talk yourself out of something that is great to sit
00:35:36.013 --> 00:35:40.551
At a space that's somewhere lower. live in your full space
00:35:40.551 --> 00:35:44.755
And your full created purpose.
00:35:44.755 --> 00:35:48.492
I don't know if you've read the letter of james recently.
00:35:48.492 --> 00:35:51.262
James was christ's little brother and there's so much
00:35:51.262 --> 00:35:54.131
Wisdom in it.
00:35:54.131 --> 00:35:54.966
I wanted to read one verse to you.
00:35:54.966 --> 00:35:56.267
This is james chapter two and it's verse 26, and this is what
00:35:56.267 --> 00:36:00.338
He writes, just as the body is dead without breath, so also
00:36:00.338 --> 00:36:05.076
Faith is dead without good works.
00:36:05.076 --> 00:36:07.845
And some people have talked to me about that and it's like,
00:36:07.845 --> 00:36:09.780
Well, i thought we were saved by faith.
00:36:09.780 --> 00:36:11.616
I thought it was by grace that we were saved.
00:36:11.616 --> 00:36:13.985
Absolutely. but there's something about when you fall
00:36:13.985 --> 00:36:16.787
In love with jesus, it changes how you live your life.
00:36:16.787 --> 00:36:20.424
It's like you see people differently.
00:36:20.424 --> 00:36:22.093
You see situations differently.
00:36:22.093 --> 00:36:23.794
You want to.
00:36:23.794 --> 00:36:24.829
It's not a case of making god love you more.
00:36:24.829 --> 00:36:27.632
He could not love you more than he loves you right now.
00:36:27.632 --> 00:36:30.901
That's for sure.
00:36:30.901 --> 00:36:32.169
But the more we fall in love with him, the more we want to
00:36:32.169 --> 00:36:35.172
Be like him.
00:36:35.172 --> 00:36:36.173
And that's why we want to do
00:36:36.173 --> 00:36:37.808
The things that would make him happy.
00:36:37.808 --> 00:36:41.178
Join the conversation on our bettertogether youtube channel.
00:36:41.178 --> 00:36:44.749
Subscribe today and never miss a new upload.
00:36:44.749 --> 00:36:48.994
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00:36:48.994 --> 00:36:53.759
The reality is we say, you
00:36:56.762 --> 00:36:58.497
Know, we here, we're more than enough,
00:36:58.497 --> 00:36:59.698
But the truth is we're not enough unless we have jesus.
00:36:59.698 --> 00:37:02.567
So jesus makes us enough and success comes out of living out
00:37:02.567 --> 00:37:08.240
The calling that he gave us.
00:37:08.240 --> 00:37:09.574
And so if you're not living the calling, that's probably the
00:37:09.574 --> 00:37:11.877
First thing we need to think through.
00:37:11.877 --> 00:37:13.945
But other than that, i think the bigger question is what is
00:37:13.945 --> 00:37:17.349
Your aim towards success?
00:37:17.349 --> 00:37:18.884
Is it a god-given success or is
00:37:18.884 --> 00:37:21.253
It our own manmade version of it?
00:37:21.253 --> 00:37:24.423
I think when you begin to understand how you're loved by
00:37:27.993 --> 00:37:31.630
God, it changes how you see other people.
00:37:31.630 --> 00:37:34.700
One of the things i'm most grateful for in my life is
00:37:34.700 --> 00:37:37.602
When my life fell apart,
00:37:37.602 --> 00:37:39.538
Um, and i ended up in a psychiatric hospital.
00:37:39.538 --> 00:37:42.341
Up until that point, you could come in--
00:37:42.341 --> 00:37:44.543
I was full time ministry.
00:37:44.543 --> 00:37:45.777
You could come to me and tell me anything you were going
00:37:45.777 --> 00:37:48.714
Through, and i would pray for you.
00:37:48.714 --> 00:37:50.882
Um, but i would already have a verse for you.
00:37:50.882 --> 00:37:52.884
I would have something.
00:37:52.884 --> 00:37:53.752
I would know how to fix you. yeah.
00:37:53.752 --> 00:37:56.021
When my life fell apart,
00:37:56.021 --> 00:37:57.456
I feel like the guy who was blind.
00:37:57.456 --> 00:38:00.859
And jesus put mud in his eyes and washed.
00:38:00.859 --> 00:38:03.328
And he said, i see people where they're kind of like trees.
00:38:03.328 --> 00:38:06.231
And he said, go wash again.
00:38:06.231 --> 00:38:08.033
And i feel like in god's mercy, taking me to the place of my
00:38:08.033 --> 00:38:11.403
Greatest nightmares, because
00:38:11.403 --> 00:38:12.604
That's where my father took his life,
00:38:12.604 --> 00:38:14.406
He washed my eyes and suddenly i no longer saw people as
00:38:14.406 --> 00:38:18.076
Shapes or as people to be fixed.
00:38:18.076 --> 00:38:20.779
I saw people who were loved by god because i suddenly began to
00:38:20.779 --> 00:38:24.750
Understand how loved i was based on nothing
00:38:24.750 --> 00:38:27.886
I brought to the table.
00:38:27.886 --> 00:38:30.088
Because when you're in a place like that, i mean, the jig's
00:38:30.088 --> 00:38:32.157
Pretty well up, right?
00:38:32.157 --> 00:38:33.625
But i remember writing in the back of my bible
00:38:33.625 --> 00:38:36.528
Actually, i never knew you lived so close to the floor.
00:38:36.528 --> 00:38:39.731
Wow. wow.
00:38:39.731 --> 00:38:41.233
When you find yourself in the lowest place in life, that
00:38:41.233 --> 00:38:44.169
Christ is right there. wow.
00:38:44.169 --> 00:38:45.737
And it definitely changed how i saw other people.
00:38:45.737 --> 00:38:48.640
Yeah.
00:38:48.640 --> 00:38:49.541
Sheila, what was like the foundational
00:38:49.541 --> 00:38:50.842
Thing you did? because you had to, like, rewire your identity.
00:38:50.842 --> 00:38:53.712
What was the key?
00:38:53.712 --> 00:38:55.814
Because it was pretty broken.
00:38:55.814 --> 00:38:58.283
Oh, yeah. oh, gosh.
00:38:58.283 --> 00:38:59.618
And it was, i mean, i understand it now as an adult.
00:38:59.618 --> 00:39:02.487
I mean, i was my, i was the closest one to my father
00:39:02.487 --> 00:39:05.390
With three children.
00:39:05.390 --> 00:39:06.324
I just adored him.
00:39:06.324 --> 00:39:07.726
So his brain injury, which changed his personality and he
00:39:07.726 --> 00:39:11.129
Became very violent with me, made me understand love
00:39:11.129 --> 00:39:14.499
Is not a guarantee.
00:39:14.499 --> 00:39:16.601
You can win it and you can lose it, right?
00:39:16.601 --> 00:39:19.604
So i'd better keep getting it all right.
00:39:19.604 --> 00:39:22.474
And it's interesting because after i'd spent a month in a
00:39:22.474 --> 00:39:25.343
Hospital, pat robertson, who i adored, he was like a dad to
00:39:25.343 --> 00:39:30.115
Me, said, do you want to come back on to the 700 club or do
00:39:30.115 --> 00:39:33.718
You want to work at regent university for a while?
00:39:33.718 --> 00:39:36.354
And i said, no, i want to go back to seminary, because i went
00:39:36.354 --> 00:39:39.891
To seminary the first time at 19 to write down every single
00:39:39.891 --> 00:39:43.361
Thing i had to do to make sure god wouldn't stop loving me.
00:39:43.361 --> 00:39:46.231
Wow.
00:39:46.231 --> 00:39:47.532
I said, i want to go back and i want to learn everything jesus
00:39:47.532 --> 00:39:49.334
Has already done. it is finished.
00:39:49.334 --> 00:39:51.169
It is finished. it is finished.
00:39:51.169 --> 00:39:52.471
So good. that's so good.
00:39:52.471 --> 00:39:54.072
So powerful.
00:39:54.072 --> 00:39:55.340
I think about it the way that we've been talking about it.
00:39:55.340 --> 00:39:57.642
It's so much of as a parent, right,
00:39:57.642 --> 00:40:00.445
You're looking at your kids and yes, we are supposed to work
00:40:00.445 --> 00:40:04.349
While we're here.
00:40:04.349 --> 00:40:05.550
We can't just sit around and laze around, but also the
00:40:05.550 --> 00:40:07.118
Work we're doing,
00:40:07.118 --> 00:40:08.487
Is it, like we've been talking about,
00:40:08.487 --> 00:40:09.888
Is it being good stewards?
00:40:09.888 --> 00:40:10.922
Are we-- is it for eternity, toward eternity?
00:40:10.922 --> 00:40:14.292
I can't imagine--
00:40:14.292 --> 00:40:15.894
I mean, i have a child that's in college and one that is
00:40:15.894 --> 00:40:18.830
About to go to college, and i would not have loved my life if
00:40:18.830 --> 00:40:23.468
I had worked all that away and didn't get time with them,
00:40:23.468 --> 00:40:27.672
Because you don't get time back, right?
00:40:27.672 --> 00:40:29.841
You don't.
00:40:29.841 --> 00:40:31.009
And so you don't have to have kids to understand that,
00:40:31.009 --> 00:40:32.577
But all of us understand that
00:40:32.577 --> 00:40:34.145
Time comes quickly for us, right?
00:40:34.145 --> 00:40:37.949
And so what can we do in the time?
00:40:37.949 --> 00:40:39.684
What can we do to steward this time now, the best that we can
00:40:39.684 --> 00:40:43.688
To do what we're called to do, not what our past has told us
00:40:43.688 --> 00:40:48.326
We have to do, and we don't have to work toward it.
00:40:48.326 --> 00:40:50.328
But what are we doing to just be, be still and know
00:40:50.328 --> 00:40:53.532
That he is god? we're so terrible at that.
00:40:53.532 --> 00:40:57.302
How can we be still every day in parts of the day, to bring
00:40:57.302 --> 00:41:01.540
Us back to our purpose and our calling,
00:41:01.540 --> 00:41:03.441
To what we're supposed to do?
00:41:03.441 --> 00:41:05.076
I love that the hebrew root of be still is let go.
00:41:05.076 --> 00:41:08.246
Let go. let go.
00:41:08.246 --> 00:41:10.015
Wow. and know that i am god.
00:41:10.015 --> 00:41:11.716
Let go of everything that you
00:41:11.716 --> 00:41:13.118
Think makes you valuable to god.
00:41:13.118 --> 00:41:15.120
Yeah. let go!
00:41:15.120 --> 00:41:16.655
So good.
00:41:16.655 --> 00:41:18.189
Psalm 46:10 says, cease striving and know that i am god.
00:41:18.189 --> 00:41:24.029
And i think a lot of times we can read scriptures like that
00:41:24.029 --> 00:41:27.399
And it's going to be yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:41:27.399 --> 00:41:28.800
Cease striving.
00:41:28.800 --> 00:41:29.467
Okay. but i want to get to
00:41:29.467 --> 00:41:32.103
Where every word of that has weight.
00:41:32.103 --> 00:41:35.674
Cease means to stop means it should not exist anymore.
00:41:35.674 --> 00:41:40.412
Striving, holding on and grabbing, grasping for things
00:41:40.412 --> 00:41:44.916
That you cannot attain anyway
00:41:44.916 --> 00:41:47.586
Because in our own strength we can do nothing.
00:41:47.586 --> 00:41:50.288
Know that i am god.
00:41:50.288 --> 00:41:52.223
There's a knowing in our soul and in our spirit that he is
00:41:52.223 --> 00:41:56.595
God and we are not.
00:41:56.595 --> 00:41:57.963
And so everything in our life is orchestrated by him.
00:41:57.963 --> 00:42:01.266
So if we put that all together,
00:42:01.266 --> 00:42:03.702
He's saying, listen, child, i am god. i created you.
00:42:03.702 --> 00:42:08.640
I've given you a purpose.
00:42:08.640 --> 00:42:10.875
I've given you a plan on this earth.
00:42:10.875 --> 00:42:13.345
Nothing that you can do will derail that plan.
00:42:13.345 --> 00:42:16.648
So could you take a step back and rest?
00:42:16.648 --> 00:42:19.184
Take a deep breath
00:42:19.184 --> 00:42:21.820
And just sit in my presence.
00:42:21.820 --> 00:42:24.656
And as you sit in my presence,
00:42:24.656 --> 00:42:27.459
Let the striving go away
00:42:27.459 --> 00:42:28.827
Because the striving tells us,
00:42:28.827 --> 00:42:31.029
Work harder, hustle, make it happen.
00:42:31.029 --> 00:42:34.766
But the resting in god says, i surrender to you that i can
00:42:34.766 --> 00:42:40.205
Trust that my life is better in your hands than in mine.
00:42:40.205 --> 00:42:44.909
And so i just want to encourage you as you're listening today,
00:42:44.909 --> 00:42:48.046
Maybe even put your hands open, say, god, i, i cease striving.
00:42:48.046 --> 00:42:53.218
I'm going to stop striving for things that i don't have any
00:42:53.218 --> 00:42:56.221
Control over, and i'm going to surrender them to you.
00:42:56.221 --> 00:42:59.057
And i'm going to give you full control of my life. in the small
00:42:59.057 --> 00:43:02.727
Things and in the big things, you have control.
00:43:02.727 --> 00:43:07.532
I love what you've been sharing, jenny.
00:43:07.532 --> 00:43:09.367
It's so powerful.
00:43:09.367 --> 00:43:11.136
And similarly, i think you just
00:43:11.136 --> 00:43:13.171
Have to be present in the moment.
00:43:13.171 --> 00:43:14.706
Yeah. you know, like, um, we have destination addiction
00:43:14.706 --> 00:43:17.742
In our culture.
00:43:17.742 --> 00:43:19.110
So when i get there, then i can do whatever.
00:43:19.110 --> 00:43:21.546
So we don't sit in this moment and don't realize that this
00:43:21.546 --> 00:43:25.283
Moment is what god's using.
00:43:25.283 --> 00:43:27.385
Um, and i think what i had to
00:43:27.385 --> 00:43:28.920
Overcome was this pass/fail mentality.
00:43:28.920 --> 00:43:31.923
Yeah. like if i don't do it right, then i'm--
00:43:31.923 --> 00:43:34.125
And literally what that does in our brains is it
00:43:34.125 --> 00:43:37.095
Shuts our brains down.
00:43:37.095 --> 00:43:39.297
Um, rather than living in a not yet because i'm on a journey,
00:43:39.297 --> 00:43:42.934
So what he's doing in this moment is, i can't miss this
00:43:42.934 --> 00:43:46.738
Moment because this moment-- the next moment needs this moment.
00:43:46.738 --> 00:43:50.108
I need to be present here,
00:43:50.108 --> 00:43:51.843
Um, because they've done brain studies and people who think in
00:43:51.843 --> 00:43:55.146
Terms of not yet, they're building new neural pathways.
00:43:55.146 --> 00:43:59.584
If pass/fail is a very rigid mindset where you're just
00:43:59.584 --> 00:44:03.254
Stuck in the moment.
00:44:03.254 --> 00:44:04.689
So i've just failed,
00:44:04.689 --> 00:44:05.724
There's no hope for me. or i've just passed,
00:44:05.724 --> 00:44:08.159
Great. i don't need to learn anything else.
00:44:08.159 --> 00:44:10.161
But somebody who's consistently thinking, not yet--
00:44:10.161 --> 00:44:12.997
They've done these studies on school children and they've
00:44:12.997 --> 00:44:15.433
Studied their brains.
00:44:15.433 --> 00:44:16.601
And so some of the most underserved communities, they
00:44:16.601 --> 00:44:19.104
Switched up the way they graded the classrooms, and those kids
00:44:19.104 --> 00:44:22.507
Became the top grades in the state when they changed it from
00:44:22.507 --> 00:44:26.644
Pass/fail to not yet. wow.
00:44:26.644 --> 00:44:28.680
And so in our culture, we pass or we fail.
00:44:28.680 --> 00:44:32.417
And if you fail, then you're out.
00:44:32.417 --> 00:44:33.651
But god's not a pass fail god.
00:44:33.651 --> 00:44:35.820
He's a not yet god.
00:44:35.820 --> 00:44:37.288
And so it's a continual journey of, well, what did i learn in
00:44:37.288 --> 00:44:40.658
The past? what am i learning right now?
00:44:40.658 --> 00:44:42.127
And i think because of destination addiction, we are
00:44:42.127 --> 00:44:45.663
Never right here in this moment.
00:44:45.663 --> 00:44:47.532
So you just told us all of this, and i'm wondering, you've
00:44:47.532 --> 00:44:51.269
Given us a few things to do.
00:44:51.269 --> 00:44:52.570
What would be one practical way that you say, okay, how do we
00:44:52.570 --> 00:44:56.307
Practice out, today for our viewers,
00:44:56.307 --> 00:44:59.244
What's one way we can practice a real way to get out of that
00:44:59.244 --> 00:45:04.415
Mentality of that pass-fail?
00:45:04.415 --> 00:45:06.151
The pass/fail. very good.
00:45:06.151 --> 00:45:07.852
When you start feeling like you
00:45:07.852 --> 00:45:09.587
Are failing at something, reconsider.
00:45:09.587 --> 00:45:11.856
It's an indication that god has got something beyond that fear,
00:45:11.856 --> 00:45:15.794
Something beyond that failure.
00:45:15.794 --> 00:45:17.428
So the failure doesn't define me.
00:45:17.428 --> 00:45:19.531
Failure is not--
00:45:19.531 --> 00:45:20.265
Failure is a situation.
00:45:20.265 --> 00:45:22.066
I'm not the failure.
00:45:22.066 --> 00:45:23.268
And i think the difference between pass/fail is that we
00:45:23.268 --> 00:45:26.371
Tend to define ourselves.
00:45:26.371 --> 00:45:27.806
We put failure on ourselves.
00:45:27.806 --> 00:45:29.641
To be honest with you, jenny, curiosity.
00:45:29.641 --> 00:45:31.810
That's so good.
00:45:31.810 --> 00:45:32.811
Because i've talked about this previously.
00:45:32.811 --> 00:45:34.879
Jesus asked over 300 recorded questions.
00:45:34.879 --> 00:45:37.615
Not because he didn't--
00:45:37.615 --> 00:45:38.616
He didn't need an answer.
00:45:38.616 --> 00:45:39.818
Right? right.
00:45:39.818 --> 00:45:41.085
He asked questions because he knew our brains would start
00:45:41.085 --> 00:45:42.821
Firing new neural pathways because we would become
00:45:42.821 --> 00:45:46.124
Part of the solution.
00:45:46.124 --> 00:45:47.992
The truth would become-- we'd become saturated with it.
00:45:47.992 --> 00:45:51.462
And so if you're in a pass/fail
00:45:51.462 --> 00:45:53.464
Mindset, start asking questions,
00:45:53.464 --> 00:45:55.667
What am i supposed to see here?
00:45:55.667 --> 00:45:57.468
What are you trying to teach me?
00:45:57.468 --> 00:45:59.037
What's beyond this?
00:45:59.037 --> 00:46:00.772
Because i'm not the failure, right?
00:46:00.772 --> 00:46:02.841
Because i do think if you have a pass/fail mentality without
00:46:02.841 --> 00:46:04.776
Realizing it, you've probably become self-critical and
00:46:04.776 --> 00:46:07.445
Critical of others. yes.
00:46:07.445 --> 00:46:08.713
Because you just draw drawn a very distinct line.
00:46:08.713 --> 00:46:11.850
You know, where that comes from, though, is-- because i
00:46:11.850 --> 00:46:14.786
Don't i don't want to be critical of others.
00:46:14.786 --> 00:46:16.521
I don't want to be looking at others with a critical eye
00:46:16.521 --> 00:46:19.357
Doubting motive and all that.
00:46:19.357 --> 00:46:21.092
That's a terrible way to go.
00:46:21.092 --> 00:46:22.694
And where it starts is, if i'm self-critical.
00:46:22.694 --> 00:46:24.796
That's really good.
00:46:24.796 --> 00:46:25.897
You know, and a pass/fail is like, man, you just
00:46:25.897 --> 00:46:29.067
Beat yourself up.
00:46:29.067 --> 00:46:30.802
And that's exhausting for one, but it's just never how god
00:46:30.802 --> 00:46:34.172
Intended us to live.
00:46:34.172 --> 00:46:35.173
God doesn't think about us like that.
00:46:35.173 --> 00:46:36.541
He doesn't think that way.
00:46:36.541 --> 00:46:37.942
And so i love what you're saying about this new idea of,
00:46:37.942 --> 00:46:42.981
Hey, there's something beyond the moment you're in.
00:46:42.981 --> 00:46:46.117
So learn what you need to.
00:46:46.117 --> 00:46:47.719
It's, i think being self aware without being self-critical.
00:46:47.719 --> 00:46:51.422
Oh, say that again.
00:46:51.422 --> 00:46:52.390
Self-aware-- yeah.
00:46:52.390 --> 00:46:53.625
Being self-aware without being self-critical, i think is
00:46:53.625 --> 00:46:56.995
Important because there is something to learn in the
00:46:56.995 --> 00:46:59.397
Moment you're in if you didn't hit the mark.
00:46:59.397 --> 00:47:02.133
So good.
00:47:02.133 --> 00:47:03.401
And that's when we live for one. that's when what matters,
00:47:03.401 --> 00:47:06.404
I think we get so caught up in
00:47:06.404 --> 00:47:08.072
This shallow affirmation from people.
00:47:08.072 --> 00:47:10.074
Yes.
00:47:10.074 --> 00:47:11.175
And when when we have the deepest one, we've got
00:47:11.175 --> 00:47:13.611
God's applause on our life.
00:47:13.611 --> 00:47:16.247
And that is a, a, an identity that failure can't erase and
00:47:16.247 --> 00:47:20.885
Success can't improve.
00:47:20.885 --> 00:47:22.253
Right. right.
00:47:22.253 --> 00:47:23.021
We are fully loved.
00:47:23.021 --> 00:47:24.455
We're fully known, and we're fully loved.
00:47:24.455 --> 00:47:27.258
Yeah. already.
00:47:27.258 --> 00:47:28.526
And when that changes in our hearts and lives, then we can
00:47:28.526 --> 00:47:32.530
Give that to other people.
00:47:32.530 --> 00:47:34.098
And it's not that pass and fail thing.
00:47:34.098 --> 00:47:36.801
It's a get up and keep going.
00:47:36.801 --> 00:47:38.970
Yeah. that's life.
00:47:38.970 --> 00:47:40.071
Come on, let's go.
00:47:40.071 --> 00:47:41.105
Yeah. right.
00:47:41.105 --> 00:47:42.106
You know, and go on with god knowing that,
00:47:42.106 --> 00:47:47.245
That his grace is sufficient for everybody.
00:47:47.245 --> 00:47:51.115
I am actually my own biggest critic.
00:47:51.115 --> 00:47:53.117
I think we all kind of have that in ourselves.
00:47:53.117 --> 00:47:55.553
And here's the thing.
00:47:55.553 --> 00:47:56.754
It is the opposite.
00:47:56.754 --> 00:47:58.056
It's a counterfeit to what has what god has called us to be,
00:47:58.056 --> 00:48:01.125
What god has said that we are.
00:48:01.125 --> 00:48:02.860
Why would he create us in his image if we were just
00:48:02.860 --> 00:48:06.130
Supposed to be trash.
00:48:06.130 --> 00:48:08.132
That doesn't even make sense.
00:48:08.132 --> 00:48:09.600
Like, i would not-- i've wanted a child for so long.
00:48:09.600 --> 00:48:12.136
Why would i just toss him to the side?
00:48:12.136 --> 00:48:14.339
Right? and so you have to remember that you were called.
00:48:14.339 --> 00:48:17.976
You were created.
00:48:17.976 --> 00:48:19.210
You're so loved.
00:48:19.210 --> 00:48:20.478
You're delighted in.
00:48:20.478 --> 00:48:22.113
Don't let your own voice or the enemy's voice or anyone else's
00:48:22.113 --> 00:48:25.583
Voice tell you something greater than what god
00:48:25.583 --> 00:48:27.452
Has said that you are.
00:48:27.452 --> 00:48:29.620
I think for us, this is always going to be an ongoing,
00:48:29.620 --> 00:48:33.324
You know, challenge.
00:48:33.324 --> 00:48:34.625
And we're learning forever and ever.
00:48:34.625 --> 00:48:36.627
And that's the beauty that we get to do this.
00:48:36.627 --> 00:48:38.463
But let's, let's pray over how
00:48:38.463 --> 00:48:41.699
To invite god into more of this.
00:48:41.699 --> 00:48:43.634
Yeah. yeah.
00:48:43.634 --> 00:48:44.702
Father, we just thank you so much.
00:48:44.702 --> 00:48:46.237
I thank you for my friends.
00:48:46.237 --> 00:48:47.705
I just thank you that we've had this conversation of
00:48:47.705 --> 00:48:50.375
Understanding better how your love is not something we need
00:48:50.375 --> 00:48:53.911
To earn because we already have it.
00:48:53.911 --> 00:48:56.247
God, nothing we do or don't do
00:48:56.247 --> 00:48:58.416
Will change how much you love us.
00:48:58.416 --> 00:49:00.952
So god, i just pray that you would help us see more and more
00:49:00.952 --> 00:49:04.322
Our identity in the image that you have made in us our
00:49:04.322 --> 00:49:08.826
Self-worth, our performance, our status, our possessions,
00:49:08.826 --> 00:49:12.930
What we have, what we don't have, god, that it is all tied
00:49:12.930 --> 00:49:16.601
Into you, not ourselves.
00:49:16.601 --> 00:49:18.770
And help us give up any control
00:49:18.770 --> 00:49:22.407
That we might be trying to steal.
00:49:22.407 --> 00:49:24.142
God, we thank you.
00:49:24.142 --> 00:49:25.243
We love you.
00:49:25.243 --> 00:49:25.943
We bless you.
00:49:25.943 --> 00:49:26.944
In jesus name, amen.
00:49:26.944 --> 00:49:28.312
Amen, amen.
00:49:28.312 --> 00:49:31.082
Connect with us on social media and let us know how our team
00:49:31.082 --> 00:49:33.885
Can pray for you.
00:49:33.885 --> 00:49:38.890
I think one of the very simple ways that i try to ask myself
00:49:42.527 --> 00:49:47.865
Is this critical self-talk,
00:49:47.865 --> 00:49:49.767
Is this the lord, is
00:49:49.767 --> 00:49:50.635
I just say, does this sound like god?
00:49:50.635 --> 00:49:53.271
If there has been something negative that i've let my mind
00:49:53.271 --> 00:49:56.007
Sit on, something negative, i'm telling myself i have to be
00:49:56.007 --> 00:49:59.811
Really honest and say, god wouldn't talk to me that way.
00:49:59.811 --> 00:50:02.914
So i think that's one way is if it doesn't sound like god,
00:50:02.914 --> 00:50:05.883
It's not god,
00:50:05.883 --> 00:50:06.617
Because you know that god is
00:50:06.617 --> 00:50:08.019
Loving. his love for you is unconditional,
00:50:08.019 --> 00:50:10.288
His acceptance of you, his value in you and of you.
00:50:10.288 --> 00:50:14.025
And so i think we have to be careful that we don't let our
00:50:14.025 --> 00:50:17.528
Mind race with negative self-talk.
00:50:17.528 --> 00:50:19.730
I think it's more important that when we have that
00:50:19.730 --> 00:50:21.933
Temptation to hear negative that we get in the word, maybe
00:50:21.933 --> 00:50:24.936
Even google scripture that says, god, how do you see me?
00:50:24.936 --> 00:50:28.639
And let the word wash over you with how he sees you
00:50:28.639 --> 00:50:31.943
Because we can't trust our thoughts or our feelings.
00:50:31.943 --> 00:50:36.047
Watch better together on the go.
00:50:36.047 --> 00:50:38.015
Download the free tbn+ app
00:50:38.015 --> 00:50:40.384
To stream all of your favorite conversations.
00:50:40.384 --> 00:50:44.155
Stream full episodes of better together on demand.
00:50:44.155 --> 00:50:47.859
Go to bettertogether.tv to
00:50:47.859 --> 00:50:50.094
Stream all of our latest conversations.
00:50:50.094 --> 00:50:54.398
♪♪
00:50:54.398 --> 00:50:54.398

Stop Trying to Earn God's Love | Better Together Episode 1172

June 16, 2026 | S8 E1172 | 50:59

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