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Better Together

Trust God with Your Pain | Better Together Episode 1163

May 6, 2026 | S8 E1163 | 50:59

Trust God with Your Pain | Better Together Episode 1163
When adult children go astray, or your teenager is making mistake after mistake. When grief and pain feel unending—God is with you. We have constant access to comfort, supernatural strength, and eternal hope from a God who never leaves us alone. | TBN Prayer Line: 714-731-1000
#Pain #Mother #Suffering #Parenting #Faith #Prayer #Hope #Healing #Peace #Miscarriage #Prophecy #Forgiveness #Family #Grief #TrustGod #Trials-HardTimes #Resurrection #PersonalStory #Divorce #Bitterness #Visions/Dreams #LaurieCrouch #HollyWagner #DeeDeeFreeman #DebraFileta

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Better Together | Trust God with Your Pain | Better Together Episode 1163 | May 6, 2026
  • >> laurie crouch: motherhood brings the greatest joys,
  • 00:00:01.524 --> 00:00:03.126
  • And sometimes the deepest heartaches.
  • 00:00:03.126 --> 00:00:05.995
  • Today we're learning how to trust god with all of our pain.
  • 00:00:05.995 --> 00:00:08.898
  • Come on, let's talk about it.
  • 00:00:08.898 --> 00:00:13.336
  • ♪ music ♪
  • 00:00:13.336 --> 00:00:37.861
  • >> holly wagner: there are moments,
  • 00:00:22.579 --> 00:00:40.597
  • And we've talked about some just in being mom, that bring joy.
  • 00:00:40.597 --> 00:00:45.568
  • And they're fun.
  • 00:00:45.568 --> 00:00:46.369
  • And, you know, the first smile.
  • 00:00:46.369 --> 00:00:47.370
  • First time they walk.
  • 00:00:47.370 --> 00:00:49.105
  • There's great moments.
  • 00:00:49.105 --> 00:00:51.541
  • Then there's the moments that are really painful.
  • 00:00:51.541 --> 00:00:53.209
  • And for me, there are some, i guess when they were littler,
  • 00:00:53.209 --> 00:00:55.678
  • But i've got adult children.
  • 00:00:55.678 --> 00:00:57.280
  • The pain moments.
  • 00:00:57.280 --> 00:00:59.048
  • So, my daughter.
  • 00:00:59.048 --> 00:01:01.618
  • And if she were here, she would tell the story.
  • 00:01:01.618 --> 00:01:03.853
  • So i get to tell it.
  • 00:01:03.853 --> 00:01:04.821
  • My version of it.
  • 00:01:04.821 --> 00:01:07.891
  • Her best friend died when she was 14 of leukemia.
  • 00:01:07.891 --> 00:01:12.262
  • It was somebody that we had prayed for and trusted god for.
  • 00:01:12.262 --> 00:01:16.833
  • But in the hospital she spent days and nights in the hospital
  • 00:01:16.833 --> 00:01:19.536
  • With her.
  • 00:01:19.536 --> 00:01:21.137
  • So when this girl died, it was incredibly traumatic and
  • 00:01:21.137 --> 00:01:24.507
  • Heartbreaking.
  • 00:01:24.507 --> 00:01:30.346
  • And it kind of sent paris on a little bit of a journey that i
  • 00:01:30.346 --> 00:01:35.852
  • Feel like she felt like she needed to cram as much into her
  • 00:01:35.852 --> 00:01:38.121
  • Life-- like looking back, i can see what it is.
  • 00:01:38.121 --> 00:01:39.355
  • She needed to cram as much into her life as she could.
  • 00:01:39.355 --> 00:01:43.159
  • And so then there was a lot of things i think-- choices that
  • 00:01:43.159 --> 00:01:46.329
  • She made that were really painful for me to watch.
  • 00:01:46.329 --> 00:01:48.932
  • Then, i think she was maybe 19 or 20.
  • 00:01:48.932 --> 00:01:54.504
  • She starts dating this guy who she got very serious with very
  • 00:01:54.504 --> 00:01:58.508
  • Quickly.
  • 00:01:58.508 --> 00:01:59.142
  • And wanted to marry him.
  • 00:01:59.142 --> 00:02:02.312
  • And everybody said no.
  • 00:02:02.312 --> 00:02:04.013
  • Don't do this.
  • 00:02:04.013 --> 00:02:05.181
  • We said no.
  • 00:02:05.181 --> 00:02:06.816
  • Don't do this.
  • 00:02:06.816 --> 00:02:08.151
  • And all the women who would have been her big sisters said, no,
  • 00:02:08.151 --> 00:02:09.552
  • Don't do this.
  • 00:02:09.552 --> 00:02:12.555
  • But again, she's just gonna push through and do this.
  • 00:02:12.555 --> 00:02:13.890
  • I knew that it was going to get not good.
  • 00:02:13.890 --> 00:02:18.228
  • I knew that this was not going to be a healthy situation for
  • 00:02:18.228 --> 00:02:21.264
  • Her.
  • 00:02:21.264 --> 00:02:22.765
  • But here i was as a mom.
  • 00:02:22.765 --> 00:02:25.034
  • And she's an adult now.
  • 00:02:25.034 --> 00:02:27.203
  • And i have a choice to make here.
  • 00:02:27.203 --> 00:02:30.006
  • I either cut the relationship and say, okay, then, or,
  • 00:02:30.006 --> 00:02:34.744
  • I keep a bridge.
  • 00:02:34.744 --> 00:02:38.214
  • So, i'm wrestling this out.
  • 00:02:38.214 --> 00:02:40.483
  • Like, what do i do in this moment?
  • 00:02:40.483 --> 00:02:41.784
  • I remember just having this moment about my daughter going
  • 00:02:41.784 --> 00:02:45.221
  • In the room and just falling on my face and crying.
  • 00:02:45.221 --> 00:02:51.094
  • And god saying to me, will you trust me with her?
  • 00:02:51.094 --> 00:02:56.366
  • I don't know why it was so hard in that moment.
  • 00:02:56.366 --> 00:02:58.334
  • Maybe, because i knew if he was asking me that so specifically,
  • 00:02:58.334 --> 00:03:01.137
  • This was going to be a bumpy journey.
  • 00:03:01.137 --> 00:03:03.506
  • So, i'm like, yes, of course.
  • 00:03:03.506 --> 00:03:07.977
  • Again, i had this choice.
  • 00:03:07.977 --> 00:03:09.979
  • She wants to get married.
  • 00:03:09.979 --> 00:03:11.881
  • The great thing about her, she's a barefoot on the beach kind of
  • 00:03:11.881 --> 00:03:13.816
  • Girl.
  • 00:03:13.816 --> 00:03:15.184
  • So it was not going to be a big expense we were going to be out.
  • 00:03:15.184 --> 00:03:16.919
  • So, i went, we're gonna do this.
  • 00:03:16.919 --> 00:03:18.888
  • We're gonna have this wedding.
  • 00:03:18.888 --> 00:03:20.423
  • And we did.
  • 00:03:20.423 --> 00:03:21.057
  • And i knew.
  • 00:03:21.057 --> 00:03:22.258
  • Philip knew, we knew.
  • 00:03:22.258 --> 00:03:24.327
  • It was not going to be a great situation.
  • 00:03:24.327 --> 00:03:25.895
  • And it was so painful knowing that.
  • 00:03:25.895 --> 00:03:28.931
  • Here we are.
  • 00:03:28.931 --> 00:03:29.999
  • I'm watching this happen.
  • 00:03:29.999 --> 00:03:31.467
  • I knew it wasn't going to be great.
  • 00:03:31.467 --> 00:03:33.136
  • And it wasn't.
  • 00:03:33.136 --> 00:03:34.437
  • So, six, seven months later, it got abusive and bad and not
  • 00:03:34.437 --> 00:03:37.440
  • Good.
  • 00:03:37.440 --> 00:03:39.142
  • Which is all we knew was going to happen.
  • 00:03:39.142 --> 00:03:41.477
  • So, then she comes home.
  • 00:03:41.477 --> 00:03:43.846
  • And there's a little bit of broken-- humiliation.
  • 00:03:43.846 --> 00:03:45.748
  • A little bit of that.
  • 00:03:45.748 --> 00:03:48.718
  • That marriage ended.
  • 00:03:48.718 --> 00:03:50.720
  • And we had some years of working out issues in her soul,
  • 00:03:50.720 --> 00:03:52.722
  • And helping her do that.
  • 00:03:52.722 --> 00:03:55.425
  • And i just remember those moments when i knew this was a
  • 00:03:55.425 --> 00:03:59.195
  • Cliff.
  • 00:03:59.195 --> 00:03:59.929
  • I knew it.
  • 00:03:59.929 --> 00:04:04.267
  • And i just don't think i've ever cried so much.
  • 00:04:04.267 --> 00:04:06.235
  • Because i knew the pain that was coming her way.
  • 00:04:06.235 --> 00:04:10.907
  • I still had to make that choice to trust god with her.
  • 00:04:10.907 --> 00:04:14.811
  • And it's interesting, because i remember that even when we made
  • 00:04:14.811 --> 00:04:17.747
  • The decision to go ahead and have this wedding,
  • 00:04:17.747 --> 00:04:21.217
  • Barefoot on the beach.
  • 00:04:21.217 --> 00:04:22.218
  • I remember, i had some friends that said,
  • 00:04:22.218 --> 00:04:25.688
  • You should stand up and don't do this.
  • 00:04:25.688 --> 00:04:28.057
  • Don't have this wedding.
  • 00:04:28.057 --> 00:04:30.393
  • Because she's going against your will.
  • 00:04:30.393 --> 00:04:32.829
  • I went, i can't do that.
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  • I want her to have a place to come home to.
  • 00:04:33.863 --> 00:04:34.797
  • I want to keep that relationship.
  • 00:04:34.797 --> 00:04:36.532
  • Keep the bridge.
  • 00:04:36.532 --> 00:04:38.167
  • So i just feel like, sometimes we-- in our anger,
  • 00:04:38.167 --> 00:04:41.337
  • You want to do the cutting.
  • 00:04:41.337 --> 00:04:43.473
  • I wanted to keep the bridge.
  • 00:04:43.473 --> 00:04:45.174
  • Because i knew she would come home.
  • 00:04:45.174 --> 00:04:47.143
  • And obviously now, she's married to a great guy.
  • 00:04:47.143 --> 00:04:49.412
  • I've got four granddaughters.
  • 00:04:49.412 --> 00:04:51.180
  • It's a very different story.
  • 00:04:51.180 --> 00:04:53.282
  • But those years, 14 or 15 years ago,
  • 00:04:53.282 --> 00:04:56.886
  • Were incredibly hard and painful.
  • 00:04:56.886 --> 00:05:02.525
  • When i made that decision in that moment to trust god with my
  • 00:05:02.525 --> 00:05:07.897
  • Daughter, letting go of the control, as if i had it anyway.
  • 00:05:07.897 --> 00:05:13.536
  • It was an illusion in my own head that i had control.
  • 00:05:13.536 --> 00:05:17.340
  • But i think when i made that decision or that thought,
  • 00:05:17.340 --> 00:05:20.443
  • The first thing i did was cry really hard.
  • 00:05:20.443 --> 00:05:22.478
  • Because i thought, you know what,
  • 00:05:22.478 --> 00:05:24.881
  • If he's being that specific with me,
  • 00:05:24.881 --> 00:05:26.482
  • There must be a journey ahead here.
  • 00:05:26.482 --> 00:05:28.284
  • So i cried really hard.
  • 00:05:28.284 --> 00:05:29.952
  • And then, eventually i felt this weight lift.
  • 00:05:29.952 --> 00:05:33.389
  • He's got this.
  • 00:05:33.389 --> 00:05:36.292
  • And so i think that's the goal, right?
  • 00:05:36.292 --> 00:05:37.994
  • We are carrying yokes and burdens jesus told us we didn't
  • 00:05:37.994 --> 00:05:42.131
  • Need to carry.
  • 00:05:42.131 --> 00:05:43.733
  • So if you are carrying the weight,
  • 00:05:43.733 --> 00:05:46.035
  • I want to encourage you to release it to him.
  • 00:05:46.035 --> 00:05:48.271
  • Even now there is a situation with my son that i just have to
  • 00:05:48.271 --> 00:05:51.107
  • Go, okay, god, you love him.
  • 00:05:51.107 --> 00:05:53.443
  • You have a plan for his life.
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  • You know everything.
  • 00:05:55.077 --> 00:05:55.912
  • I have to just-- he's yours.
  • 00:05:55.912 --> 00:05:58.614
  • So the more we do that, then actually the freer we are to
  • 00:05:58.614 --> 00:06:01.184
  • Live our life filled with joy and peace,
  • 00:06:01.184 --> 00:06:03.319
  • Which is what was promised to us.
  • 00:06:03.319 --> 00:06:06.689
  • >> dr. deedee freeman: yeah, it could be pretty painful to see
  • 00:06:06.689 --> 00:06:08.958
  • Your children go through.
  • 00:06:08.958 --> 00:06:10.693
  • Because we wanna rescue them.
  • 00:06:10.693 --> 00:06:12.728
  • God has never called us to be the rescuer.
  • 00:06:12.728 --> 00:06:16.566
  • I think one of the most difficult times with me is
  • 00:06:16.566 --> 00:06:21.237
  • Probably-- well, i've probably had to-- with my son as a
  • 00:06:21.237 --> 00:06:24.040
  • Teenager and in my oldest, brit, going through a divorce.
  • 00:06:24.040 --> 00:06:28.744
  • That was very painful for me.
  • 00:06:28.744 --> 00:06:31.080
  • Because i wanted to control the outcome of that.
  • 00:06:31.080 --> 00:06:34.484
  • Because i've never seen divorce in my family.
  • 00:06:34.484 --> 00:06:40.156
  • We just toughed it out.
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  • You stay in there and make it work.
  • 00:06:41.891 --> 00:06:43.993
  • Wasn't that necessarily supposed to have been her outcome.
  • 00:06:43.993 --> 00:06:47.763
  • And, once i relinquished how i felt and what i thought,
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  • It helped me to be more present for her,
  • 00:06:56.372 --> 00:07:00.142
  • To allow her to go through it.
  • 00:07:00.142 --> 00:07:03.546
  • We don't ever want to see our children go through anything.
  • 00:07:03.546 --> 00:07:07.683
  • I heard a statement once about, children are like our heart
  • 00:07:07.683 --> 00:07:12.188
  • Outside of us walking around.
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  • Because we want to protect them.
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  • We want to be mom.
  • 00:07:16.492 --> 00:07:21.130
  • The dads are amazing, but dads are like, come on,
  • 00:07:21.130 --> 00:07:22.765
  • Get yourself together.
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  • We got this.
  • 00:07:23.566 --> 00:07:24.300
  • Let's go.
  • 00:07:24.300 --> 00:07:28.271
  • But moms, we want to be there, like, it's okay.
  • 00:07:28.271 --> 00:07:28.704
  • I got you.
  • 00:07:28.704 --> 00:07:29.739
  • >> holly: we're the defenders and protect.
  • 00:07:29.739 --> 00:07:31.140
  • I feel like that's probably my weakness too,
  • 00:07:31.140 --> 00:07:33.175
  • Wanting to-- not a few, but wanting to solve every problem.
  • 00:07:33.175 --> 00:07:37.647
  • Or rescue.
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  • A rescuer.
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  • There are some situations you can't do that.
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  • It's really painful.
  • 00:07:45.588 --> 00:07:46.923
  • >> in counseling we talk about the difference between natural
  • 00:07:46.923 --> 00:07:49.191
  • Consequences and induced consequences.
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  • So natural consequences would be,
  • 00:07:52.161 --> 00:07:54.931
  • When you go outside without a coat, you're gonna get cold.
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  • Things that happen naturally.
  • 00:07:58.501 --> 00:08:01.237
  • And i think those are sometimes the hardest consequences for us
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  • To manage without intervening.
  • 00:08:06.008 --> 00:08:09.011
  • Because we see the pain that the choice is going to cause.
  • 00:08:09.011 --> 00:08:12.081
  • We even see how we could intervene.
  • 00:08:12.081 --> 00:08:14.684
  • But it's in those natural consequences that often god does
  • 00:08:14.684 --> 00:08:18.321
  • His best work.
  • 00:08:18.321 --> 00:08:21.123
  • It's through the pain that our kids experience that they learn
  • 00:08:21.123 --> 00:08:24.927
  • Lessons.
  • 00:08:24.927 --> 00:08:28.030
  • And so, in so many ways, they're growing their faith through some
  • 00:08:28.030 --> 00:08:31.100
  • Of these natural consequences in ways that probably otherwise
  • 00:08:31.100 --> 00:08:33.703
  • Wouldn't have happened.
  • 00:08:33.703 --> 00:08:36.305
  • >> deedee: if you have some adult children and they a making
  • 00:08:36.305 --> 00:08:42.511
  • Mistakes, our tendency as a mom is, we want to rescue them.
  • 00:08:42.511 --> 00:08:46.415
  • And you cannot rescue them.
  • 00:08:46.415 --> 00:08:49.018
  • They have to make their own decisions.
  • 00:08:49.018 --> 00:08:52.555
  • So, you're gonna have to be encouraged to just pray,
  • 00:08:52.555 --> 00:08:55.524
  • To stand and to believe god.
  • 00:08:55.524 --> 00:08:57.560
  • To know everything you've sown into their lives,
  • 00:08:57.560 --> 00:09:01.397
  • It will come to pass, regardless of what it is.
  • 00:09:01.397 --> 00:09:04.266
  • So back up today and trust god with your children.
  • 00:09:04.266 --> 00:09:09.105
  • >> laurie: the bible says that every generation shall walk by
  • 00:09:09.105 --> 00:09:12.908
  • Faith.
  • 00:09:12.908 --> 00:09:14.343
  • So, they have to learn it, like we learned it.
  • 00:09:14.343 --> 00:09:17.213
  • And that is through stuff probably the worst thing that my
  • 00:09:17.213 --> 00:09:21.617
  • Kids, cody and audrey have gone through,
  • 00:09:21.617 --> 00:09:25.621
  • Is that three years ago audrey was pregnant.
  • 00:09:25.621 --> 00:09:29.125
  • She was 27 weeks pregnant.
  • 00:09:29.125 --> 00:09:31.894
  • They came over to jerusalem to be with us.
  • 00:09:31.894 --> 00:09:33.095
  • And she went into labor.
  • 00:09:33.095 --> 00:09:37.700
  • And the realization that we can't stop what's happening,
  • 00:09:37.700 --> 00:09:43.272
  • Or we're going to leave the hospital with or without a baby
  • 00:09:43.272 --> 00:09:44.674
  • This time.
  • 00:09:44.674 --> 00:09:45.441
  • And they did a c-section on her.
  • 00:09:45.441 --> 00:09:48.577
  • And he lived for a little while and then he passed away.
  • 00:09:48.577 --> 00:09:51.681
  • And going through that, watching my little boy,
  • 00:09:51.681 --> 00:09:54.617
  • Who i sat with while it was happening.
  • 00:09:54.617 --> 00:09:57.319
  • He wasn't with her.
  • 00:09:57.319 --> 00:09:58.654
  • She was by herself.
  • 00:09:58.654 --> 00:10:00.556
  • And going through that.
  • 00:10:00.556 --> 00:10:04.427
  • And i build my life on my faith.
  • 00:10:04.427 --> 00:10:05.461
  • My faith in god that he is a sovereign god.
  • 00:10:05.461 --> 00:10:08.264
  • He sees from the beginning to the end.
  • 00:10:08.264 --> 00:10:11.167
  • And i cannot question god's love.
  • 00:10:11.167 --> 00:10:13.736
  • Because he is love.
  • 00:10:13.736 --> 00:10:15.971
  • He is faithful.
  • 00:10:15.971 --> 00:10:17.673
  • When i need peace, i get jesus.
  • 00:10:17.673 --> 00:10:20.743
  • I get jesus.
  • 00:10:20.743 --> 00:10:23.479
  • Because jesus is my peace.
  • 00:10:23.479 --> 00:10:25.681
  • And when i need hope, i get jesus.
  • 00:10:25.681 --> 00:10:30.653
  • I get all of him.
  • 00:10:30.653 --> 00:10:33.756
  • And so, i will die believing in my faith.
  • 00:10:33.756 --> 00:10:39.962
  • And i remember cody, the first words out of his mouth when we
  • 00:10:39.962 --> 00:10:43.632
  • Knew it was bad, was, i made a mistake.
  • 00:10:43.632 --> 00:10:47.002
  • We shouldn't have come.
  • 00:10:47.002 --> 00:10:52.074
  • And all of a sudden, as the mom, i'm seeing the guilt and the
  • 00:10:52.074 --> 00:10:54.343
  • Pain coming on him.
  • 00:10:54.343 --> 00:10:55.511
  • It's me.
  • 00:10:55.511 --> 00:10:57.079
  • I did this.
  • 00:10:57.079 --> 00:10:58.180
  • And i turned to him and i said, cody, i said,
  • 00:10:58.180 --> 00:11:02.985
  • If the god i serve isn't sovereign, i said,
  • 00:11:02.985 --> 00:11:06.188
  • He knew that jessie marshall was going to be born in jerusalem
  • 00:11:06.188 --> 00:11:09.592
  • Today.
  • 00:11:09.592 --> 00:11:11.160
  • And we all just had to get here.
  • 00:11:11.160 --> 00:11:14.163
  • We had to get here, because that was the plan.
  • 00:11:14.163 --> 00:11:16.665
  • And i have to believe that.
  • 00:11:16.665 --> 00:11:19.702
  • And this is taking you somewhere in god.
  • 00:11:19.702 --> 00:11:22.872
  • This is what happens with pain.
  • 00:11:22.872 --> 00:11:25.808
  • So many people turn from god when he says,
  • 00:11:25.808 --> 00:11:29.211
  • I am close to the brokenhearted.
  • 00:11:29.211 --> 00:11:31.781
  • That's when we are in such pain we should run to god.
  • 00:11:31.781 --> 00:11:36.318
  • We should go and tell god everything.
  • 00:11:36.318 --> 00:11:39.789
  • Get it out to god.
  • 00:11:39.789 --> 00:11:45.661
  • Give it to god.
  • 00:11:45.661 --> 00:11:46.729
  • All the pain, all of what you have to say.
  • 00:11:46.729 --> 00:11:48.364
  • All of the internal turmoil.
  • 00:11:48.364 --> 00:11:50.199
  • Take it to god.
  • 00:11:50.199 --> 00:11:51.600
  • Because he is the healer and he is the mender of the
  • 00:11:51.600 --> 00:11:54.603
  • Brokenhearted.
  • 00:11:54.603 --> 00:11:55.971
  • And that grief and that pain he can carry for us in a way that
  • 00:11:55.971 --> 00:12:01.610
  • We cannot carry alone.
  • 00:12:01.610 --> 00:12:04.380
  • God will help us carry that.
  • 00:12:04.380 --> 00:12:05.981
  • Because he cares.
  • 00:12:05.981 --> 00:12:07.049
  • The bible says he was a man of great sorrow.
  • 00:12:07.049 --> 00:12:09.652
  • He understands.
  • 00:12:09.652 --> 00:12:12.054
  • So, when we are in pain like that,
  • 00:12:12.054 --> 00:12:15.891
  • Hurting-- it happened to me, but when it happens to my kid--
  • 00:12:15.891 --> 00:12:22.898
  • >> deedee: it's a different level of pain.
  • 00:12:22.898 --> 00:12:24.099
  • >> laurie: it's a different level.
  • 00:12:24.099 --> 00:12:25.801
  • I think the only one that can bring perspective to our pain is
  • 00:12:25.801 --> 00:12:28.304
  • Jesus.
  • 00:12:28.304 --> 00:12:30.072
  • There are so many unanswered questions when we walk through
  • 00:12:30.072 --> 00:12:34.510
  • Hard things, and we look for answers anywhere and everywhere.
  • 00:12:34.510 --> 00:12:38.080
  • But, the most important thing is to bring our questions and our
  • 00:12:38.080 --> 00:12:44.386
  • Pain to the feet of jesus.
  • 00:12:44.386 --> 00:12:45.821
  • It's okay to cry in his lap and let him know what we're
  • 00:12:45.821 --> 00:12:49.825
  • Experiencing.
  • 00:12:49.825 --> 00:12:51.227
  • And allow him to bring us comfort.
  • 00:12:51.227 --> 00:12:55.030
  • Allow him to change our perspective.
  • 00:12:55.030 --> 00:12:57.633
  • Allow him to speak truth.
  • 00:12:57.633 --> 00:12:59.702
  • Allow him to just hold us and comfort us and cry with us.
  • 00:12:59.702 --> 00:13:02.905
  • Whatever you are walking through right now,
  • 00:13:02.905 --> 00:13:07.276
  • You can bring it to jesus.
  • 00:13:07.276 --> 00:13:09.445
  • >> laurie: and what was so precious in the midst of that is
  • 00:13:09.445 --> 00:13:16.452
  • Matt and i had kind of crawled up on the bed next to them.
  • 00:13:16.452 --> 00:13:20.055
  • And cody was sitting with audrey
  • 00:13:20.055 --> 00:13:21.490
  • After it happened.
  • 00:13:21.490 --> 00:13:22.758
  • She's in grief that i can't even-- it was just so heavy.
  • 00:13:22.758 --> 00:13:29.665
  • And i hear a song playing across the room.
  • 00:13:29.665 --> 00:13:35.404
  • It is well with my soul.
  • 00:13:35.404 --> 00:13:39.408
  • And cody's got that playing with audrey.
  • 00:13:39.408 --> 00:13:40.676
  • It is well.
  • 00:13:40.676 --> 00:13:42.144
  • It is well with my soul.
  • 00:13:42.144 --> 00:13:46.382
  • And so, going through those things.
  • 00:13:46.382 --> 00:13:47.983
  • I think of the shunamite woman that --
  • 00:13:47.983 --> 00:13:52.054
  • Here's the promise of god for you.
  • 00:13:52.054 --> 00:13:53.622
  • He's going to give you a son.
  • 00:13:53.622 --> 00:13:57.192
  • It's something she probably prayed for for so many years.
  • 00:13:57.192 --> 00:13:59.561
  • And then her son dies after a few years.
  • 00:13:59.561 --> 00:14:05.935
  • And she takes her baby
  • 00:14:05.935 --> 00:14:09.705
  • And she had built a room for the prophet elisha
  • 00:14:09.705 --> 00:14:13.542
  • And she goes up and she lays her son on elisha's bed.
  • 00:14:13.542 --> 00:14:14.877
  • And then she tells her husband, go get my donkey.
  • 00:14:14.877 --> 00:14:18.080
  • I'm going to get to the prophet elisha.
  • 00:14:18.080 --> 00:14:20.316
  • And she encounters a few people before she gets there.
  • 00:14:20.316 --> 00:14:24.119
  • And they go, are you okay?
  • 00:14:24.119 --> 00:14:25.421
  • Is everything well?
  • 00:14:25.421 --> 00:14:26.355
  • Elisha sends a servant out to them.
  • 00:14:26.355 --> 00:14:29.124
  • She says, all is well, all is well.
  • 00:14:29.124 --> 00:14:31.627
  • Until she gets to the prophet.
  • 00:14:31.627 --> 00:14:34.530
  • And she collapses.
  • 00:14:34.530 --> 00:14:35.564
  • And that's what we do with god.
  • 00:14:35.564 --> 00:14:38.867
  • We go, it is well, it is well.
  • 00:14:38.867 --> 00:14:40.736
  • And then we take it to our savior who can save me.
  • 00:14:40.736 --> 00:14:44.740
  • Who can help me.
  • 00:14:44.740 --> 00:14:48.410
  • Who can redeem this for me.
  • 00:14:48.410 --> 00:14:49.678
  • He's the only one that can redeem and restore and, renew.
  • 00:14:49.678 --> 00:14:52.247
  • And mend our hearts.
  • 00:14:52.247 --> 00:14:58.854
  • She's such a true reminder of that.
  • 00:14:58.854 --> 00:15:02.291
  • And then, her baby came back to life.
  • 00:15:02.291 --> 00:15:05.160
  • So we have to remember that at the end of maybe our children
  • 00:15:05.160 --> 00:15:11.367
  • Making really bad mistakes.
  • 00:15:11.367 --> 00:15:12.968
  • And you bury it.
  • 00:15:12.968 --> 00:15:15.137
  • She moves out.
  • 00:15:15.137 --> 00:15:16.772
  • The hardest day in the world.
  • 00:15:16.772 --> 00:15:18.007
  • It is over.
  • 00:15:18.007 --> 00:15:19.408
  • It is done.
  • 00:15:19.408 --> 00:15:20.743
  • The mistakes are made.
  • 00:15:20.743 --> 00:15:21.810
  • It's finished.
  • 00:15:21.810 --> 00:15:23.512
  • There is burial, but in the ground there is rebirth.
  • 00:15:23.512 --> 00:15:28.050
  • >> holly: resurrection only comes after death.
  • 00:15:28.050 --> 00:15:30.285
  • Only.
  • 00:15:30.285 --> 00:15:31.687
  • And i think sometimes for me it was-- i had to acknowledge that
  • 00:15:31.687 --> 00:15:34.957
  • Some of the grief was because this wasn't the picture i had.
  • 00:15:34.957 --> 00:15:38.227
  • This wasn't the wedding i had seen for my daughter who knew
  • 00:15:38.227 --> 00:15:44.533
  • Better.
  • 00:15:44.533 --> 00:15:45.467
  • I had to look here.
  • 00:15:45.467 --> 00:15:47.202
  • Like acknowledge where this was-- some of it was me.
  • 00:15:47.202 --> 00:15:52.674
  • I was grieving.
  • 00:15:52.674 --> 00:15:55.844
  • Grieving what could have been.
  • 00:15:55.844 --> 00:16:01.083
  • >> elyse: god created us to be in community.
  • 00:16:01.083 --> 00:16:02.284
  • We want you in ours.
  • 00:16:02.284 --> 00:16:05.454
  • >> debra: follow us on social media and join our conversation.
  • 00:16:05.454 --> 00:16:08.891
  • >> laurie: let's keep the conversation going.
  • 00:16:08.891 --> 00:16:11.193
  • You can find the "better together" podcast on your
  • 00:16:11.193 --> 00:16:14.263
  • Favorite listening platform.
  • 00:16:14.263 --> 00:16:14.963
  • Subscribe today.
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  • Subscribe today.
  • 00:16:19.005 --> 00:16:19.903
  • ♪ music ♪
  • 00:16:19.903 --> 00:16:23.406
  • >> debra: when you talked about resurrection,
  • 00:16:23.406 --> 00:16:26.009
  • I can't help but think of the moms who are like, well,
  • 00:16:26.009 --> 00:16:30.580
  • Resurrection doesn't happen here on earth when you lose a child.
  • 00:16:30.580 --> 00:16:32.849
  • The deep pain of that.
  • 00:16:32.849 --> 00:16:35.251
  • And i went through a traumatic miscarriage myself.
  • 00:16:35.251 --> 00:16:39.823
  • So in some ways i can relate.
  • 00:16:39.823 --> 00:16:43.326
  • It's a different story, but it was a miscarriage that i almost
  • 00:16:43.326 --> 00:16:48.598
  • Lost my life in the process.
  • 00:16:48.598 --> 00:16:50.233
  • So it was like a double whammy of trauma.
  • 00:16:50.233 --> 00:16:54.871
  • So, just navigating through that pain.
  • 00:16:54.871 --> 00:16:56.039
  • And that loss.
  • 00:16:56.039 --> 00:16:59.742
  • And the lord walking through that with me.
  • 00:16:59.742 --> 00:17:07.650
  • Most recently, i had a client in counseling who had gone through
  • 00:17:07.650 --> 00:17:09.018
  • Miscarriage after miscarriage.
  • 00:17:09.018 --> 00:17:11.221
  • I remember she called me from a cruise ship.
  • 00:17:11.221 --> 00:17:14.958
  • Because she had just lost her baby unexpectedly.
  • 00:17:14.958 --> 00:17:18.027
  • And so they zoomed in to talk because they are like,
  • 00:17:18.027 --> 00:17:20.797
  • How are we going to go through this?
  • 00:17:20.797 --> 00:17:24.834
  • As i'm processing with her, i felt the lord gave me a word,
  • 00:17:24.834 --> 00:17:28.338
  • In that, this is not a loss.
  • 00:17:28.338 --> 00:17:33.510
  • This is a preservation of joy.
  • 00:17:33.510 --> 00:17:34.577
  • Because you have not lost this child for good.
  • 00:17:34.577 --> 00:17:38.815
  • It has been preserved for you in the kingdom of god.
  • 00:17:38.815 --> 00:17:42.886
  • >> laurie: nothing's lost in the kingdom of god.
  • 00:17:42.886 --> 00:17:44.721
  • >> debra: nothing's lost in the kingdom of god.
  • 00:17:44.721 --> 00:17:48.158
  • There will be a day of rejoicing and connecting and being
  • 00:17:48.158 --> 00:17:51.895
  • Together again.
  • 00:17:51.895 --> 00:17:54.197
  • This child has not been lost.
  • 00:17:54.197 --> 00:17:55.965
  • It has just been preserved.
  • 00:17:55.965 --> 00:17:59.035
  • And that is the resurrection.
  • 00:17:59.035 --> 00:17:59.969
  • When you don't feel it in this world,
  • 00:17:59.969 --> 00:18:02.105
  • It doesn't mean it's not real and it's not true.
  • 00:18:02.105 --> 00:18:04.541
  • I believe that for me.
  • 00:18:04.541 --> 00:18:07.377
  • My kids and i talk about the baby that we lost as if she's
  • 00:18:07.377 --> 00:18:11.047
  • Part of our family.
  • 00:18:11.047 --> 00:18:12.081
  • Sometimes the kids will mention her by name.
  • 00:18:12.081 --> 00:18:15.285
  • And i really believe that to be true.
  • 00:18:15.285 --> 00:18:17.620
  • When we lose something here on earth, it's not lost.
  • 00:18:17.620 --> 00:18:21.224
  • It's preserved.
  • 00:18:21.224 --> 00:18:24.427
  • And that is a hope to hold on to in the midst of pain.
  • 00:18:24.427 --> 00:18:27.630
  • >> laurie: i believe that with all my heart.
  • 00:18:27.630 --> 00:18:28.598
  • Sometimes we walk through horrific pain.
  • 00:18:28.598 --> 00:18:32.802
  • Horrific loss.
  • 00:18:32.802 --> 00:18:33.937
  • Grieving.
  • 00:18:33.937 --> 00:18:37.607
  • All of it, for different reasons.
  • 00:18:37.607 --> 00:18:38.808
  • You lose a loved one, you lose a child.
  • 00:18:38.808 --> 00:18:41.277
  • You lose a home.
  • 00:18:41.277 --> 00:18:43.513
  • You lose your family.
  • 00:18:43.513 --> 00:18:46.349
  • There's so many things.
  • 00:18:46.349 --> 00:18:48.618
  • But i want you to know that god's grace is sufficient.
  • 00:18:48.618 --> 00:18:50.620
  • There's nothing lost in the kingdom of god.
  • 00:18:50.620 --> 00:18:53.690
  • He is a restorer.
  • 00:18:53.690 --> 00:18:58.962
  • He is a renewer.
  • 00:18:58.962 --> 00:18:59.529
  • He is salvation.
  • 00:18:59.529 --> 00:19:02.565
  • He is the mender of broken hearts.
  • 00:19:02.565 --> 00:19:05.201
  • And i am just telling you to keep your faith.
  • 00:19:05.201 --> 00:19:08.605
  • Keep your faith strong.
  • 00:19:08.605 --> 00:19:12.175
  • Get in his word daily.
  • 00:19:12.175 --> 00:19:14.911
  • The revelation from his word will come to you in ways that
  • 00:19:14.911 --> 00:19:16.813
  • You just never dreamed.
  • 00:19:16.813 --> 00:19:20.617
  • And, through that, the renewing of your mind and the peace that
  • 00:19:20.617 --> 00:19:23.786
  • Comes, and the comfort that comes,
  • 00:19:23.786 --> 00:19:25.054
  • Only god can do that for you.
  • 00:19:25.054 --> 00:19:27.790
  • So, i'm here to say, just remember,
  • 00:19:27.790 --> 00:19:30.860
  • There is no loss in god's kingdom,
  • 00:19:30.860 --> 00:19:32.862
  • Because it all belongs to him.
  • 00:19:32.862 --> 00:19:36.766
  • >> elyse mahan: the uniqueness of us in a blended family.
  • 00:19:36.766 --> 00:19:40.069
  • We have majority custody and have the girls most of the time.
  • 00:19:40.069 --> 00:19:43.339
  • Already stepping into a step mom role.
  • 00:19:43.339 --> 00:19:47.010
  • You're not the mom but you kind of are the mom.
  • 00:19:47.010 --> 00:19:49.412
  • But then having them full time means i'm very much the mum in
  • 00:19:49.412 --> 00:19:52.148
  • Their life.
  • 00:19:52.148 --> 00:19:54.017
  • So, for me, seeing the heartbreak of these two little
  • 00:19:54.017 --> 00:19:59.355
  • Girls, any time they would come back from a visit with their
  • 00:19:59.355 --> 00:20:04.560
  • Mom, as they get older, of just not understanding,
  • 00:20:04.560 --> 00:20:06.562
  • And me not having the words to be able to explain that,
  • 00:20:06.562 --> 00:20:12.168
  • But wishing i could take it away.
  • 00:20:12.168 --> 00:20:13.936
  • Wishing that words would fix heartbreak.
  • 00:20:13.936 --> 00:20:16.773
  • Because it wasn't god's design.
  • 00:20:16.773 --> 00:20:21.811
  • I think that is where i've wrestled with the tension of,
  • 00:20:21.811 --> 00:20:25.181
  • This was never god's design.
  • 00:20:25.181 --> 00:20:29.319
  • But yet this is also able to be redemptive.
  • 00:20:29.319 --> 00:20:30.920
  • But me saying, just watch.
  • 00:20:30.920 --> 00:20:32.488
  • This will be redemptive to them in their little, at the time,
  • 00:20:32.488 --> 00:20:34.924
  • Five and seven year old brains.
  • 00:20:34.924 --> 00:20:38.728
  • They don't even know what that word means.
  • 00:20:38.728 --> 00:20:41.364
  • So how do you explain something to a little girl who just knows,
  • 00:20:41.364 --> 00:20:44.233
  • Who just wonders why we all can't live under the same roof.
  • 00:20:44.233 --> 00:20:46.969
  • I've gone to god with that.
  • 00:20:46.969 --> 00:20:49.505
  • I don't know what to do.
  • 00:20:49.505 --> 00:20:50.640
  • I don't know how to explain that.
  • 00:20:50.640 --> 00:20:52.075
  • And any attempts have just felt like they failed.
  • 00:20:52.075 --> 00:20:59.148
  • So this one day she came home.
  • 00:20:59.148 --> 00:21:01.084
  • And sometimes they'll be a little disobedient when they
  • 00:21:01.084 --> 00:21:03.353
  • Come home, just different houses.
  • 00:21:03.353 --> 00:21:04.454
  • Figuring out that kind of stuff.
  • 00:21:04.454 --> 00:21:07.323
  • Sometimes it's anger and frustration, and i get it.
  • 00:21:07.323 --> 00:21:09.125
  • And this one day she was really angry.
  • 00:21:09.125 --> 00:21:10.126
  • She wouldn't talk to me.
  • 00:21:10.126 --> 00:21:11.894
  • I was like, okay.
  • 00:21:11.894 --> 00:21:13.463
  • But she would talk at me.
  • 00:21:13.463 --> 00:21:15.732
  • If that makes sense.
  • 00:21:15.732 --> 00:21:16.632
  • So, i was really upset.
  • 00:21:16.632 --> 00:21:20.203
  • My natural reaction wanted to be like, just go into time out.
  • 00:21:20.203 --> 00:21:23.072
  • This is not how we act in this house.
  • 00:21:23.072 --> 00:21:25.108
  • I did this thing where i went into my pantry.
  • 00:21:25.108 --> 00:21:29.379
  • We always joke about hiding in the pantry, but i really do.
  • 00:21:29.379 --> 00:21:32.048
  • I was like, holy spirit, what's going on?
  • 00:21:32.048 --> 00:21:34.517
  • And it's almost like, in this moment,
  • 00:21:34.517 --> 00:21:40.056
  • He showed me how much her heart was breaking and the confusion
  • 00:21:40.056 --> 00:21:44.093
  • In her brain was almost like this numbers equation kind of
  • 00:21:44.093 --> 00:21:49.399
  • Stuff that was to show me, that's what's going on.
  • 00:21:49.399 --> 00:21:50.433
  • She's so overwhelmed.
  • 00:21:50.433 --> 00:21:52.435
  • And she can't talk to her mum or her dad about it,
  • 00:21:52.435 --> 00:21:55.538
  • Because she feels like if she does that,
  • 00:21:55.538 --> 00:21:58.441
  • She's putting something on them.
  • 00:21:58.441 --> 00:21:59.542
  • She's also the oldest child.
  • 00:21:59.542 --> 00:22:01.577
  • She doesn't want to guilt her parents.
  • 00:22:01.577 --> 00:22:04.080
  • You're the one.
  • 00:22:04.080 --> 00:22:05.281
  • So putting aside how i should be treated, or whatever,
  • 00:22:05.281 --> 00:22:09.619
  • I just had this idea of, zara, do you want to go to the talking
  • 00:22:09.619 --> 00:22:12.855
  • Room?
  • 00:22:12.855 --> 00:22:13.689
  • She goes, what's the talking room?
  • 00:22:13.689 --> 00:22:14.991
  • I was able to just make an imaginative room on the spot.
  • 00:22:14.991 --> 00:22:19.395
  • Any mom that has tried to hide an elf on the shelf in two
  • 00:22:19.395 --> 00:22:22.565
  • Minutes knows how to go on the run.
  • 00:22:22.565 --> 00:22:24.200
  • You don't know the talking room?
  • 00:22:24.200 --> 00:22:27.370
  • You have never been to the talking room?
  • 00:22:27.370 --> 00:22:29.572
  • Suddenly her curiosity sparked.
  • 00:22:29.572 --> 00:22:30.740
  • She was like, where is it?
  • 00:22:30.740 --> 00:22:34.811
  • I was like, do you want me to take you?
  • 00:22:34.811 --> 00:22:37.747
  • She was like, does milan get to go?
  • 00:22:37.747 --> 00:22:39.749
  • No, it's just you.
  • 00:22:39.749 --> 00:22:43.085
  • She was immediately like, yeah, can you take me?
  • 00:22:43.085 --> 00:22:45.655
  • So we go up the stairs to our guest room.
  • 00:22:45.655 --> 00:22:50.793
  • The shoes have to be outside.
  • 00:22:50.793 --> 00:22:53.996
  • So shoes off, we sit on the bed.
  • 00:22:53.996 --> 00:22:55.231
  • I said, hey, welcome to the talking room.
  • 00:22:55.231 --> 00:22:58.267
  • I said this room is where zara gets to talk and i get to
  • 00:22:58.267 --> 00:23:03.139
  • Listen.
  • 00:23:03.139 --> 00:23:03.906
  • >> deedee: that was brilliant.
  • 00:23:03.906 --> 00:23:05.708
  • >> elyse: and it was this moment where you all know i would never
  • 00:23:05.708 --> 00:23:09.712
  • Have been able to come up with that if i had thought at a desk
  • 00:23:09.712 --> 00:23:12.982
  • With a pen in my hand for ten hours.
  • 00:23:12.982 --> 00:23:15.017
  • It was this moment of, god, i don't know how to fix her pain.
  • 00:23:15.017 --> 00:23:18.087
  • And i can't.
  • 00:23:18.087 --> 00:23:19.222
  • But in these moments with her, this talking room.
  • 00:23:19.222 --> 00:23:23.292
  • And she tested me the next day.
  • 00:23:23.292 --> 00:23:26.562
  • I told her you can come and ask me any moment,
  • 00:23:26.562 --> 00:23:28.297
  • Can we go to the talking room?
  • 00:23:28.297 --> 00:23:29.665
  • So next day i'm on a work call.
  • 00:23:29.665 --> 00:23:31.367
  • She goes, i need to go to the talking room.
  • 00:23:31.367 --> 00:23:36.038
  • And the holy spirit is like, you better go.
  • 00:23:36.038 --> 00:23:37.707
  • Because i promised.
  • 00:23:37.707 --> 00:23:39.175
  • I'm going to have to call you back.
  • 00:23:39.175 --> 00:23:40.943
  • We go to the talking room.
  • 00:23:40.943 --> 00:23:42.712
  • Suddenly in this moment, she just realized,
  • 00:23:42.712 --> 00:23:46.349
  • There is somewhere i can go.
  • 00:23:46.349 --> 00:23:47.283
  • And there's not answers, but i feel seen.
  • 00:23:47.283 --> 00:23:50.419
  • >> holly: and heard.
  • 00:23:50.419 --> 00:23:51.754
  • >> elyse: and i feel heard.
  • 00:23:51.754 --> 00:23:53.356
  • And i think for me, just in this season with the blended family
  • 00:23:53.356 --> 00:23:56.659
  • Complexity, it was this holy spirit moment,
  • 00:23:56.659 --> 00:23:58.528
  • I can't fix your pain, but can i listen.
  • 00:23:58.528 --> 00:24:00.563
  • >> deedee: that's the whole thing.
  • 00:24:00.563 --> 00:24:02.532
  • Acknowledging god, and god gives you the wisdom.
  • 00:24:02.532 --> 00:24:06.135
  • If any man lacks wisdom, let him ask of him,
  • 00:24:06.135 --> 00:24:10.172
  • For he gives it to us liberally.
  • 00:24:10.172 --> 00:24:11.641
  • That's one of those moments.
  • 00:24:11.641 --> 00:24:17.179
  • That's what a lot of people are probably looking for.
  • 00:24:17.179 --> 00:24:19.015
  • Because sometimes you just need some practical applications.
  • 00:24:19.015 --> 00:24:21.551
  • Some practical tools.
  • 00:24:21.551 --> 00:24:23.352
  • How to implement all of this.
  • 00:24:23.352 --> 00:24:27.456
  • Because we have been talking about moses' mom putting him in
  • 00:24:27.456 --> 00:24:29.859
  • This basket.
  • 00:24:29.859 --> 00:24:31.761
  • And god controls the river.
  • 00:24:31.761 --> 00:24:35.665
  • So how does that look, practically speaking?
  • 00:24:35.665 --> 00:24:38.734
  • How do we tell people that?
  • 00:24:38.734 --> 00:24:41.537
  • Give him to god.
  • 00:24:41.537 --> 00:24:42.872
  • Relinquishing your own rights and your own authority over this
  • 00:24:42.872 --> 00:24:47.877
  • Child to be able to acknowledge god.
  • 00:24:47.877 --> 00:24:51.013
  • He gives you something like that spot on.
  • 00:24:51.013 --> 00:24:53.649
  • I'm going to use that for my grandkids.
  • 00:24:53.649 --> 00:24:55.952
  • >> debra: the most brilliant part of that story,
  • 00:24:55.952 --> 00:24:59.855
  • As amazing as the talking room is, we should all use that,
  • 00:24:59.855 --> 00:25:02.892
  • Is the part before.
  • 00:25:02.892 --> 00:25:06.295
  • Where you went to the pantry, and made space for the holy
  • 00:25:06.295 --> 00:25:09.865
  • Spirit in a moment of chaos.
  • 00:25:09.865 --> 00:25:12.001
  • That's where the power is.
  • 00:25:12.001 --> 00:25:16.572
  • And i think oftentimes in the middle of the situation,
  • 00:25:16.572 --> 00:25:20.276
  • In the middle of the pain, we're trying to make it go away as
  • 00:25:20.276 --> 00:25:23.145
  • Fast as possible, instead of, how can i make space?
  • 00:25:23.145 --> 00:25:26.782
  • How can i pause?
  • 00:25:26.782 --> 00:25:29.518
  • How can i make room for the spirit of god right now,
  • 00:25:29.518 --> 00:25:32.388
  • Right here in this moment of guilt, of sorrow,
  • 00:25:32.388 --> 00:25:34.991
  • Of frustration, of overwhelm?
  • 00:25:34.991 --> 00:25:37.760
  • I'm just going to pause and see this emotion as a signal that i
  • 00:25:37.760 --> 00:25:41.764
  • Need to stop and pay attention to what god is doing.
  • 00:25:41.764 --> 00:25:44.834
  • What he wants me to reframe.
  • 00:25:44.834 --> 00:25:47.470
  • What he wants me to shift.
  • 00:25:47.470 --> 00:25:49.939
  • What he wants me to know that i otherwise wouldn't know if i did
  • 00:25:49.939 --> 00:25:53.042
  • Not check in with him in this moment.
  • 00:25:53.042 --> 00:25:54.310
  • I think that's the practical of parenting and mothering.
  • 00:25:54.310 --> 00:25:56.946
  • How do you invite the holy spirit in?
  • 00:25:56.946 --> 00:25:58.948
  • You pause.
  • 00:25:58.948 --> 00:26:01.517
  • You don't react so quickly to make it go away as fast as
  • 00:26:00.249 --> 00:26:05.788
  • Possible.
  • 00:26:05.788 --> 00:26:07.289
  • You pullback and you give him room.
  • 00:26:07.289 --> 00:26:09.925
  • And he will show up.
  • 00:26:09.925 --> 00:26:11.594
  • He will show up.
  • 00:26:11.594 --> 00:26:13.496
  • If he has space, if he is invited, he will show up.
  • 00:26:13.496 --> 00:26:16.132
  • >> debra: when we're walking through pain and loss,
  • 00:26:16.132 --> 00:26:18.868
  • I think it is a natural tendency to want to pull away from god,
  • 00:26:18.868 --> 00:26:22.805
  • Because we feel hurt.
  • 00:26:22.805 --> 00:26:24.140
  • We feel disappointed.
  • 00:26:24.140 --> 00:26:26.442
  • We feel let down.
  • 00:26:26.442 --> 00:26:29.045
  • But the bigger picture is that god is walking through that pain
  • 00:26:29.045 --> 00:26:33.349
  • With us.
  • 00:26:33.349 --> 00:26:35.751
  • Just like he grieved with martha and mary at the loss of their
  • 00:26:35.751 --> 00:26:40.589
  • Brother.
  • 00:26:40.589 --> 00:26:41.590
  • He grieves with us.
  • 00:26:41.590 --> 00:26:45.361
  • Instead of pulling away from him, he wants us to draw close.
  • 00:26:45.361 --> 00:26:49.899
  • So whenever grief you are walking through right now,
  • 00:26:49.899 --> 00:26:52.368
  • I want you to know that jesus understands.
  • 00:26:52.368 --> 00:26:54.370
  • He feels it with you.
  • 00:26:54.370 --> 00:26:58.240
  • He cries with you.
  • 00:26:58.240 --> 00:27:03.946
  • And he wants you to draw near to him so that he can be your
  • 00:27:03.946 --> 00:27:05.548
  • Greatest source of comfort no matter what you're walking
  • 00:27:05.548 --> 00:27:09.385
  • Through.
  • 00:27:09.385 --> 00:27:10.486
  • >> elyse: because it's so rare to do a story room.
  • 00:27:10.486 --> 00:27:12.421
  • That was a good one.
  • 00:27:12.421 --> 00:27:14.523
  • Usually i'm like, that was a bad one.
  • 00:27:14.523 --> 00:27:15.458
  • (laughter)
  • 00:27:15.458 --> 00:27:16.726
  • I try to fail alone.
  • 00:27:16.726 --> 00:27:18.194
  • Because a couple weeks before that happened.
  • 00:27:18.194 --> 00:27:21.664
  • There was this moment with zara where she came home again and i
  • 00:27:21.664 --> 00:27:23.332
  • Was angry.
  • 00:27:23.332 --> 00:27:24.967
  • I was angry that she was sad, because it was about me,
  • 00:27:24.967 --> 00:27:26.469
  • Not about her.
  • 00:27:26.469 --> 00:27:27.236
  • And i was really short with her.
  • 00:27:27.236 --> 00:27:29.538
  • And i looked at the symptom, looked at the behavior and tried
  • 00:27:29.538 --> 00:27:34.276
  • To discipline the behavior rather than doing that.
  • 00:27:34.276 --> 00:27:36.779
  • And i remember the shame that came on me of like,
  • 00:27:36.779 --> 00:27:41.150
  • I messed it up, but i'm just so angry.
  • 00:27:41.150 --> 00:27:44.386
  • I'm not angry at her.
  • 00:27:44.386 --> 00:27:45.121
  • I'm angry at the situation.
  • 00:27:45.121 --> 00:27:47.823
  • And it was a monday morning.
  • 00:27:47.823 --> 00:27:50.159
  • And there were meltdowns after meltdowns on the way to school.
  • 00:27:50.159 --> 00:27:51.093
  • I yelled at her.
  • 00:27:51.093 --> 00:27:55.131
  • I acted in a way that was like, elyse,
  • 00:27:55.131 --> 00:27:58.968
  • I know that you're the youngest child, but in this house now,
  • 00:27:58.968 --> 00:28:00.269
  • You are the mom.
  • 00:28:00.269 --> 00:28:01.470
  • You can't be acting like youngest child energy when i'm
  • 00:28:01.470 --> 00:28:04.840
  • Asking you to be a mum right now.
  • 00:28:04.840 --> 00:28:05.841
  • And i was.
  • 00:28:05.841 --> 00:28:06.742
  • >> laurie: people need to hear that.
  • 00:28:06.742 --> 00:28:07.710
  • >> elyse: that was reality.
  • 00:28:07.710 --> 00:28:09.545
  • >> holly: you are the mom.
  • 00:28:09.545 --> 00:28:12.948
  • >> elyse: you have to be the mom.
  • 00:28:12.948 --> 00:28:13.849
  • I don't want to be a mom.
  • 00:28:13.849 --> 00:28:14.517
  • You have to be right now.
  • 00:28:14.517 --> 00:28:15.985
  • You asked for this.
  • 00:28:15.985 --> 00:28:16.886
  • And i was on the way.
  • 00:28:16.886 --> 00:28:19.488
  • I was really mad.
  • 00:28:19.488 --> 00:28:21.991
  • So, this is probably the piece i did well.
  • 00:28:21.991 --> 00:28:24.493
  • With my husband tim, i was like, i'm just so mad.
  • 00:28:24.493 --> 00:28:27.229
  • I really messed it up.
  • 00:28:27.229 --> 00:28:28.697
  • I know i'm mad at myself.
  • 00:28:28.697 --> 00:28:29.865
  • He was kind of like, you're allowed to apologize.
  • 00:28:29.865 --> 00:28:31.200
  • And it was this crazy thought.
  • 00:28:31.200 --> 00:28:35.337
  • This revelation.
  • 00:28:35.337 --> 00:28:36.172
  • That i was like, i can?
  • 00:28:36.172 --> 00:28:40.709
  • What if-- no, you are allowed to apologize.
  • 00:28:40.709 --> 00:28:42.478
  • This is why i love my husband.
  • 00:28:42.478 --> 00:28:44.680
  • He's just amazing.
  • 00:28:44.680 --> 00:28:45.347
  • It was school holidays.
  • 00:28:45.347 --> 00:28:50.486
  • And she was in the school holiday program attached to our
  • 00:28:50.486 --> 00:28:52.855
  • Workplace.
  • 00:28:52.855 --> 00:28:54.223
  • I remember going to the window and seeing her in there playing
  • 00:28:54.223 --> 00:28:56.659
  • With her friends.
  • 00:28:56.659 --> 00:28:59.562
  • And i'm like a nervous kid about to ask someone on a date or
  • 00:28:59.562 --> 00:29:02.398
  • Something.
  • 00:29:02.398 --> 00:29:02.865
  • Do i go?
  • 00:29:02.865 --> 00:29:03.966
  • No, i don't want to go yet.
  • 00:29:03.966 --> 00:29:05.067
  • Do i-- no, not yet.
  • 00:29:05.067 --> 00:29:07.036
  • She's busy.
  • 00:29:07.036 --> 00:29:07.736
  • Do it another time.
  • 00:29:07.736 --> 00:29:09.038
  • Just the conviction of the holy spirit.
  • 00:29:09.038 --> 00:29:10.639
  • Like now.
  • 00:29:10.639 --> 00:29:11.607
  • So i walk in.
  • 00:29:11.607 --> 00:29:14.743
  • I talked to the teacher.
  • 00:29:14.743 --> 00:29:15.945
  • I said, can i borrow zara for a second?
  • 00:29:15.945 --> 00:29:16.912
  • I take her to the side.
  • 00:29:16.912 --> 00:29:18.180
  • Hey, sweetie.
  • 00:29:18.180 --> 00:29:19.715
  • I don't think i've ever been nervous in my whole life,
  • 00:29:19.715 --> 00:29:21.851
  • As nervous as i was in this moment.
  • 00:29:21.851 --> 00:29:23.285
  • Talking to her and apologizing.
  • 00:29:23.285 --> 00:29:25.187
  • I just saw it lift off of her.
  • 00:29:25.187 --> 00:29:29.058
  • Not only was it a memory i pray i never forget to remember,
  • 00:29:29.058 --> 00:29:33.729
  • Like what lifted off her.
  • 00:29:33.729 --> 00:29:37.800
  • Because i don't want to put it on her again.
  • 00:29:37.800 --> 00:29:39.802
  • But it was just like, if parents are listening i should have done
  • 00:29:39.802 --> 00:29:42.404
  • The talking room.
  • 00:29:42.404 --> 00:29:43.239
  • No, no, no.
  • 00:29:43.239 --> 00:29:44.206
  • I messed up so many times before that.
  • 00:29:44.206 --> 00:29:45.307
  • I'm just realizing you're allowed to say sorry?
  • 00:29:45.307 --> 00:29:46.942
  • What that also can do for a child if you messed up.
  • 00:29:46.942 --> 00:29:51.213
  • >> deedee: absolutely.
  • 00:29:51.213 --> 00:29:58.420
  • Nobody ever really wants to apologize to a child.
  • 00:29:58.420 --> 00:30:00.089
  • You don't think about that.
  • 00:30:00.089 --> 00:30:01.891
  • That was the first thing i had to do with brelyn,
  • 00:30:01.891 --> 00:30:07.363
  • You just apologize.
  • 00:30:07.363 --> 00:30:08.364
  • You own it.
  • 00:30:08.364 --> 00:30:09.765
  • We are not perfect.
  • 00:30:09.765 --> 00:30:12.401
  • We're going to mess up.
  • 00:30:12.401 --> 00:30:14.136
  • Your children know exactly what you're going through even when
  • 00:30:14.136 --> 00:30:19.041
  • You're trying to protect them and trying to prevent them from
  • 00:30:19.041 --> 00:30:21.310
  • Seeing your pain, or seeing your failure.
  • 00:30:21.310 --> 00:30:23.812
  • They see it.
  • 00:30:23.812 --> 00:30:26.515
  • So it is important to be vulnerable with them.
  • 00:30:26.515 --> 00:30:28.918
  • To allow them to know.
  • 00:30:28.918 --> 00:30:31.387
  • This is what's happening right now.
  • 00:30:31.387 --> 00:30:32.554
  • This is what i'm feeling.
  • 00:30:32.554 --> 00:30:34.189
  • This is what i'm dealing with.
  • 00:30:34.189 --> 00:30:36.692
  • That way they can see the victory and not just rejoice
  • 00:30:36.692 --> 00:30:40.296
  • About the victory, but be able to see it and identify with the
  • 00:30:40.296 --> 00:30:44.500
  • Struggle, the pain or the discouragement that you may be
  • 00:30:44.500 --> 00:30:46.001
  • Going through.
  • 00:30:46.001 --> 00:30:47.236
  • Because it allowed them to stand whenever they may have a
  • 00:30:47.236 --> 00:30:50.773
  • Challenge themselves.
  • 00:30:50.773 --> 00:30:51.407
  • So be vulnerable today.
  • 00:30:51.407 --> 00:30:54.076
  • It is funny when you said when god told you,
  • 00:30:54.076 --> 00:30:55.945
  • You're the mom now.
  • 00:30:55.945 --> 00:30:57.379
  • You're the mom.
  • 00:30:57.379 --> 00:30:59.381
  • >> elyse: i'm the mom.
  • 00:30:59.381 --> 00:31:00.382
  • I was like, i don't want to be the mom.
  • 00:31:00.382 --> 00:31:02.985
  • >> laurie: i think so many people do treat things like,
  • 00:31:02.985 --> 00:31:05.154
  • It's about me.
  • 00:31:05.154 --> 00:31:06.689
  • Their attitude is about me being here.
  • 00:31:06.689 --> 00:31:09.058
  • We have to remember that we are the adults.
  • 00:31:09.058 --> 00:31:11.093
  • That is real.
  • 00:31:11.093 --> 00:31:13.696
  • And how am i acting right now, and choosing to act?
  • 00:31:13.696 --> 00:31:17.967
  • It is not about me anymore.
  • 00:31:17.967 --> 00:31:19.735
  • It's about my kid.
  • 00:31:19.735 --> 00:31:22.237
  • Or their friends.
  • 00:31:22.237 --> 00:31:24.873
  • And to actually change the way we are responding.
  • 00:31:24.873 --> 00:31:31.447
  • >> holly: in moments like, in that moment that was so painful
  • 00:31:31.447 --> 00:31:34.016
  • With paris, i still had to lead a church.
  • 00:31:34.016 --> 00:31:38.854
  • Right?
  • 00:31:38.854 --> 00:31:39.521
  • I'm still leading people.
  • 00:31:39.521 --> 00:31:40.923
  • Sometimes we feel like the grief, which is very real,
  • 00:31:40.923 --> 00:31:44.927
  • Takes over our whole life.
  • 00:31:44.927 --> 00:31:48.797
  • I want to say, it's possible for sorrow and hope to live
  • 00:31:48.797 --> 00:31:51.667
  • Together.
  • 00:31:51.667 --> 00:31:52.634
  • It's possible for that to live together.
  • 00:31:52.634 --> 00:31:55.871
  • So, even like, just a few months ago, my mom passed away.
  • 00:31:55.871 --> 00:31:59.675
  • It was pretty sudden.
  • 00:31:59.675 --> 00:32:00.943
  • The beautiful part was all the grandkids got to be there.
  • 00:32:00.943 --> 00:32:03.812
  • We called immediately when we realized it was happening.
  • 00:32:03.812 --> 00:32:05.481
  • We were all around her bed.
  • 00:32:05.481 --> 00:32:11.453
  • And we're all singing amazing grace.
  • 00:32:11.453 --> 00:32:12.588
  • And i can only imagine, as she breathed her last.
  • 00:32:12.588 --> 00:32:14.123
  • So, it's a beautiful moment.
  • 00:32:14.123 --> 00:32:15.791
  • So there is the grieving.
  • 00:32:15.791 --> 00:32:18.093
  • Then there was those moments afterwards,
  • 00:32:18.093 --> 00:32:19.528
  • Like those little things.
  • 00:32:19.528 --> 00:32:21.130
  • Like she taught me to play cards.
  • 00:32:21.130 --> 00:32:22.431
  • Every time i would hear a deck or shuffle a deck of cards.
  • 00:32:22.431 --> 00:32:23.298
  • It would make me think of my mom.
  • 00:32:23.298 --> 00:32:24.166
  • Those things.
  • 00:32:24.166 --> 00:32:25.434
  • But then there's the moments, the funny ones.
  • 00:32:25.434 --> 00:32:26.935
  • I remember the random nonsense like she told me how to,
  • 00:32:26.935 --> 00:32:28.871
  • This is how you need to cut an avocado.
  • 00:32:28.871 --> 00:32:31.173
  • As if there is one way.
  • 00:32:31.173 --> 00:32:32.975
  • We would laugh about it.
  • 00:32:32.975 --> 00:32:33.709
  • It is just the little things.
  • 00:32:33.709 --> 00:32:36.078
  • The grief and the hope.
  • 00:32:36.078 --> 00:32:36.845
  • I know where she is.
  • 00:32:36.845 --> 00:32:38.313
  • It's the grief and the hope.
  • 00:32:38.313 --> 00:32:39.248
  • So i think in parenting did is the same.
  • 00:32:39.248 --> 00:32:43.685
  • There are moments of sorrow and pain and grief.
  • 00:32:43.685 --> 00:32:47.322
  • And what coexists at the same time,
  • 00:32:47.322 --> 00:32:49.024
  • That this isn't the end of the story.
  • 00:32:49.024 --> 00:32:50.092
  • It's not the end of the story.
  • 00:32:50.092 --> 00:32:52.294
  • I had to say that to myself a thousand times as i was on my
  • 00:32:52.294 --> 00:32:58.300
  • Knees crying about what was about to happen with my
  • 00:32:58.300 --> 00:33:00.702
  • Daughter.
  • 00:33:00.702 --> 00:33:02.538
  • Crying about that.
  • 00:33:02.538 --> 00:33:04.640
  • I've had to say it a number of times through my parenting
  • 00:33:04.640 --> 00:33:05.941
  • Years.
  • 00:33:05.941 --> 00:33:06.809
  • This is not the end of the story.
  • 00:33:06.809 --> 00:33:07.810
  • It's not the end of the story.
  • 00:33:07.810 --> 00:33:09.611
  • The sorrow and the hope can be on the same plane for a minute.
  • 00:33:09.611 --> 00:33:15.050
  • But only in jesus.
  • 00:33:15.050 --> 00:33:18.053
  • >> laurie: choose hope.
  • 00:33:18.053 --> 00:33:21.156
  • >> holly: i can't will myself there.
  • 00:33:21.156 --> 00:33:24.960
  • It's only because my faith, to your point, my faith,
  • 00:33:24.960 --> 00:33:29.698
  • My entire faith rests on who he is.
  • 00:33:29.698 --> 00:33:32.201
  • >> deedee: so many people think that you can't be in pain and
  • 00:33:32.201 --> 00:33:37.973
  • Still have hope.
  • 00:33:37.973 --> 00:33:38.874
  • But you can.
  • 00:33:38.874 --> 00:33:40.375
  • Pain just doesn't rule the situation.
  • 00:33:40.375 --> 00:33:42.010
  • Pain just doesn't be the deciding factor whether you are
  • 00:33:42.010 --> 00:33:46.181
  • Going to stand and believe god.
  • 00:33:46.181 --> 00:33:49.451
  • You may be in pain.
  • 00:33:49.451 --> 00:33:50.419
  • You may be going through something.
  • 00:33:50.419 --> 00:33:51.820
  • But let me give you this.
  • 00:33:51.820 --> 00:33:53.856
  • God is a god of hope.
  • 00:33:53.856 --> 00:33:54.957
  • God is a god of yes.
  • 00:33:54.957 --> 00:33:57.993
  • God is a god of restoration.
  • 00:33:57.993 --> 00:34:00.162
  • God will restore whatever it is you feel like you have lost.
  • 00:34:00.162 --> 00:34:02.464
  • So, regardless of what you are feeling.
  • 00:34:02.464 --> 00:34:07.202
  • Regardless of what you are dealing with.
  • 00:34:07.202 --> 00:34:08.971
  • You can know and you can trust in god always.
  • 00:34:08.971 --> 00:34:13.475
  • Because he will and he has worked it out on your behalf.
  • 00:34:13.475 --> 00:34:21.850
  • >> elyse: i think there is something really significant
  • 00:34:21.850 --> 00:34:25.120
  • That i learned from my mom when it comes to processing emotions
  • 00:34:25.120 --> 00:34:26.321
  • And grief.
  • 00:34:26.321 --> 00:34:30.025
  • When i became an adult, it was actually when i was walking
  • 00:34:30.025 --> 00:34:33.295
  • Through my divorce, i spent a few months back in australia
  • 00:34:33.295 --> 00:34:35.230
  • From california just to heal.
  • 00:34:35.230 --> 00:34:35.964
  • Get good therapy.
  • 00:34:35.964 --> 00:34:37.466
  • Hang around with my family.
  • 00:34:37.466 --> 00:34:40.002
  • But it was a formative time for me and my mom.
  • 00:34:40.002 --> 00:34:43.372
  • Because she began to share with me pieces of her journey,
  • 00:34:43.372 --> 00:34:45.941
  • Of her own divorce that i had never known about.
  • 00:34:45.941 --> 00:34:48.877
  • There was something the age i was at going through what i was
  • 00:34:48.877 --> 00:34:52.381
  • Going through when i realized that my mom having told me this
  • 00:34:52.381 --> 00:34:57.052
  • Journey of grief and processing emotions any earlier,
  • 00:34:57.052 --> 00:34:58.687
  • It probably wouldn't have been appropriate.
  • 00:34:58.687 --> 00:35:01.256
  • But being able to see my mom not just as my mom and one of my
  • 00:35:01.256 --> 00:35:04.426
  • Heroes, but as a woman, as a human,
  • 00:35:04.426 --> 00:35:07.663
  • That took these emotions to god.
  • 00:35:07.663 --> 00:35:11.466
  • That said out loud every single day, be strong and courageous.
  • 00:35:11.466 --> 00:35:14.269
  • Do not be afraid or dismayed.
  • 00:35:14.269 --> 00:35:16.171
  • For the lord your god is with you everywhere you go.
  • 00:35:16.171 --> 00:35:18.774
  • That woman that got to be my mom,
  • 00:35:18.774 --> 00:35:21.710
  • Look what i learned from her.
  • 00:35:21.710 --> 00:35:25.547
  • Is that i may not see the journey of grief or processing
  • 00:35:25.547 --> 00:35:28.150
  • Emotions in the moment.
  • 00:35:28.150 --> 00:35:30.652
  • But i'll always see the fruit of it afterwards.
  • 00:35:30.652 --> 00:35:32.221
  • Though i don't have to tell my kids the grief i'm going through
  • 00:35:32.221 --> 00:35:36.191
  • In real time or the difficult complex emotions that i'm
  • 00:35:36.191 --> 00:35:38.727
  • Processing with god.
  • 00:35:38.727 --> 00:35:40.662
  • They will always see the fruit of it.
  • 00:35:40.662 --> 00:35:41.997
  • Even in the moment they can't quite put their finger on what
  • 00:35:41.997 --> 00:35:44.366
  • It is, there will be a day where, god willing,
  • 00:35:44.366 --> 00:35:47.603
  • I'll be able to share with them some of the real journey behind
  • 00:35:47.603 --> 00:35:51.206
  • The scenes.
  • 00:35:51.206 --> 00:35:52.274
  • And it won't be them looking at me going, wow!
  • 00:35:52.274 --> 00:35:55.110
  • That's a whole different person than you presented.
  • 00:35:55.110 --> 00:35:56.745
  • It will just back up with authority who i have been to
  • 00:35:56.745 --> 00:35:59.815
  • Them.
  • 00:35:59.815 --> 00:36:00.816
  • That's what my mom was able to teach me.
  • 00:36:00.816 --> 00:36:02.451
  • And i guess that's my prayer that you'll be able to teach
  • 00:36:02.451 --> 00:36:05.120
  • Your kids too.
  • 00:36:05.120 --> 00:36:07.623
  • >> laurie: be the first to know all the latest better together
  • 00:36:07.623 --> 00:36:09.825
  • Updates.
  • 00:36:09.825 --> 00:36:11.193
  • Visit bettertogether.tv to sign up with our weekly emails and
  • 00:36:11.193 --> 00:36:14.296
  • Never miss the latest news.
  • 00:36:14.296 --> 00:36:18.005
  • Never miss the latest news.
  • 00:36:18.005 --> 00:36:22.004
  • >> holly: so i think about even another woman in the bible,
  • 00:36:22.004 --> 00:36:24.373
  • We are going through them all now,
  • 00:36:24.373 --> 00:36:24.973
  • (laughter)
  • 00:36:24.973 --> 00:36:26.341
  • Like naomi.
  • 00:36:26.341 --> 00:36:29.011
  • What is interesting in that story.
  • 00:36:29.011 --> 00:36:31.179
  • They were living in bethlehem.
  • 00:36:31.179 --> 00:36:31.880
  • There was a famine.
  • 00:36:31.880 --> 00:36:33.248
  • The family leaves,.
  • 00:36:33.248 --> 00:36:35.951
  • >> laurie: her and her sons and husband.
  • 00:36:35.951 --> 00:36:36.852
  • >> holly: and they leave.
  • 00:36:36.852 --> 00:36:38.553
  • And i don't know that god told them to leave.
  • 00:36:38.553 --> 00:36:40.289
  • But they left.
  • 00:36:40.289 --> 00:36:40.922
  • I don't know.
  • 00:36:40.922 --> 00:36:43.292
  • So now they are living in a pagan area.
  • 00:36:43.292 --> 00:36:47.195
  • With people who don't know god.
  • 00:36:47.195 --> 00:36:49.464
  • So they live there.
  • 00:36:49.464 --> 00:36:51.667
  • The sons marry women from this land.
  • 00:36:51.667 --> 00:36:54.236
  • And at one point, all of the men in the family die.
  • 00:36:54.236 --> 00:36:58.206
  • It does not actually tell us why.
  • 00:36:58.206 --> 00:37:00.509
  • I can't even imagine the emotion of that.
  • 00:37:00.509 --> 00:37:05.013
  • I'm in a place that isn't my community.
  • 00:37:05.013 --> 00:37:08.984
  • That isn't mine.
  • 00:37:08.984 --> 00:37:11.553
  • And my husband just died.
  • 00:37:11.553 --> 00:37:12.954
  • And my sons just died.
  • 00:37:12.954 --> 00:37:15.123
  • It is one of those verses you read past.
  • 00:37:15.123 --> 00:37:18.260
  • Hold on here.
  • 00:37:18.260 --> 00:37:20.362
  • She just lost every man in her family.
  • 00:37:20.362 --> 00:37:26.301
  • Which is emotionally-- i can't even imagine how you would get
  • 00:37:26.301 --> 00:37:29.571
  • Through that.
  • 00:37:29.571 --> 00:37:30.839
  • And, this is a culture which doesn't help that situation.
  • 00:37:30.839 --> 00:37:36.345
  • There's no hope for the widows.
  • 00:37:36.345 --> 00:37:37.846
  • >> debra: a downgrade.
  • 00:37:37.846 --> 00:37:41.450
  • >> holly: yeah, it's a very patriarchal culture.
  • 00:37:41.450 --> 00:37:42.751
  • Then she makes the decision to go back to the land of her
  • 00:37:42.751 --> 00:37:47.022
  • Forefathers.
  • 00:37:47.022 --> 00:37:47.622
  • She begins this journey.
  • 00:37:47.622 --> 00:37:50.058
  • Again, we just read that.
  • 00:37:50.058 --> 00:37:51.393
  • I'm thinking, hang on, they just lost the men in their family.
  • 00:37:51.393 --> 00:37:56.231
  • Now they are on their own.
  • 00:37:56.231 --> 00:37:57.566
  • Daughters in law go with her.
  • 00:37:57.566 --> 00:38:00.268
  • They are on their own.
  • 00:38:00.268 --> 00:38:01.436
  • Three women making an incredibly-- i can't imagine
  • 00:38:01.436 --> 00:38:04.740
  • Like the snot that would have fallen,
  • 00:38:04.740 --> 00:38:07.309
  • The tears and the heartbreak.
  • 00:38:07.309 --> 00:38:09.578
  • I don't even know how all the emotion-- the fear.
  • 00:38:09.578 --> 00:38:15.550
  • Because who is going to take care of us,
  • 00:38:15.550 --> 00:38:17.486
  • All of that on that journey.
  • 00:38:17.486 --> 00:38:18.587
  • But at least she's headed back to where home is.
  • 00:38:18.587 --> 00:38:21.957
  • Right?
  • 00:38:21.957 --> 00:38:22.991
  • She's headed there.
  • 00:38:22.991 --> 00:38:23.625
  • As you know the story.
  • 00:38:23.625 --> 00:38:28.096
  • One of them, daughter decide to go back to what was comfortable.
  • 00:38:28.096 --> 00:38:31.733
  • Because this would be her home would be back there.
  • 00:38:31.733 --> 00:38:33.101
  • But ruth is the one who stays the course with her.
  • 00:38:33.101 --> 00:38:34.903
  • I'll go where you go.
  • 00:38:34.903 --> 00:38:35.871
  • And what's interesting.
  • 00:38:35.871 --> 00:38:39.408
  • Her name changes.
  • 00:38:39.408 --> 00:38:43.011
  • She goes from hurting to like bitter.
  • 00:38:43.011 --> 00:38:44.746
  • >> laurie: marah.
  • 00:38:44.746 --> 00:38:46.681
  • >> holly: because that is how she saw herself.
  • 00:38:46.681 --> 00:38:48.550
  • So the grief and the pain made her bitter.
  • 00:38:48.550 --> 00:38:51.119
  • And i just think there have been so many seasons for me,
  • 00:38:51.119 --> 00:38:54.489
  • If i'm not careful, that's what the pain will do.
  • 00:38:54.489 --> 00:38:57.692
  • The pain of parenting, or pain of leaving people.
  • 00:38:57.692 --> 00:39:03.231
  • That pain is real.
  • 00:39:03.231 --> 00:39:06.401
  • And so, you either have to make the choice to let sorrow and
  • 00:39:06.401 --> 00:39:11.640
  • Hope live together.
  • 00:39:11.640 --> 00:39:13.708
  • Or you just choose the sorrow.
  • 00:39:13.708 --> 00:39:16.845
  • And that's where you sink, and that is where the tree of
  • 00:39:16.845 --> 00:39:20.248
  • Bitterness grows and you want to change your name and your face
  • 00:39:20.248 --> 00:39:23.718
  • Looks different, and all that.
  • 00:39:23.718 --> 00:39:24.986
  • So, i think it was ruth that actually saved her from what
  • 00:39:24.986 --> 00:39:30.525
  • Could have become this full downward spiral into
  • 00:39:30.525 --> 00:39:35.096
  • Bitterness and anger and frustration.
  • 00:39:35.096 --> 00:39:36.264
  • Who you choose along the way matters too.
  • 00:39:36.264 --> 00:39:39.801
  • Who you choose when you are in the middle of pain matters.
  • 00:39:39.801 --> 00:39:45.507
  • Because you can choose people who will help you justify that
  • 00:39:45.507 --> 00:39:48.810
  • Pain.
  • 00:39:48.810 --> 00:39:49.578
  • You should stay that way.
  • 00:39:49.578 --> 00:39:52.013
  • Why do you trust god anyway?
  • 00:39:52.013 --> 00:39:53.482
  • You can choose.
  • 00:39:53.482 --> 00:39:55.250
  • Or you can choose the people that somehow,
  • 00:39:55.250 --> 00:40:00.455
  • Some way help you carry the load a little bit and put hope in
  • 00:40:00.455 --> 00:40:02.123
  • You.
  • 00:40:02.123 --> 00:40:04.159
  • >> elyse: i think it's so important in seasons of
  • 00:40:04.159 --> 00:40:07.128
  • Heartbreak, disappoint.
  • 00:40:07.128 --> 00:40:10.198
  • Confusion, just those seasons when life is lifing.
  • 00:40:10.198 --> 00:40:13.502
  • I think that's so important to have people that help us hold on
  • 00:40:13.502 --> 00:40:17.539
  • To hope, the vision, the promise god has give us.
  • 00:40:17.539 --> 00:40:20.075
  • Because, honestly, it's too easy to let it go.
  • 00:40:20.075 --> 00:40:22.310
  • I've had so many seasons where god didn't do the thing that i
  • 00:40:22.310 --> 00:40:26.948
  • Thought he was going to do, and my temptation was just to lay
  • 00:40:26.948 --> 00:40:27.883
  • Down faith.
  • 00:40:27.883 --> 00:40:29.084
  • To stop believing in that thing.
  • 00:40:29.084 --> 00:40:30.719
  • To get bitter, cynical, sarcastic.
  • 00:40:30.719 --> 00:40:32.687
  • Sometimes we call sarcasm my sense of humor,
  • 00:40:32.687 --> 00:40:36.958
  • If we are really honest, it is a root of bitterness to it.
  • 00:40:36.958 --> 00:40:41.696
  • It has been so important for me personally in those seasons to
  • 00:40:41.696 --> 00:40:46.635
  • Have friends and family that would come alongside and say
  • 00:40:46.635 --> 00:40:48.603
  • That's not who you are.
  • 00:40:48.603 --> 00:40:49.504
  • What's really going on?
  • 00:40:49.504 --> 00:40:50.472
  • Would listen to me.
  • 00:40:50.472 --> 00:40:52.140
  • Not just say a one-liner to fix everything, as if it could.
  • 00:40:52.140 --> 00:40:57.345
  • But would really listen to me.
  • 00:40:57.345 --> 00:41:00.181
  • See me, know me, hear me, and then, point me back to jesus.
  • 00:41:00.181 --> 00:41:04.386
  • And then, remind me of all the ways he has been faithful in the
  • 00:41:04.386 --> 00:41:08.423
  • Past, and challenge me and encourage me to believe again,
  • 00:41:08.423 --> 00:41:11.693
  • Which really, might feel the most vulnerable in seasons that
  • 00:41:11.693 --> 00:41:17.566
  • Are difficult, is to believe again,
  • 00:41:17.566 --> 00:41:19.901
  • Especially if we have been disappointed in the past.
  • 00:41:19.901 --> 00:41:22.504
  • If you don't have people like that today.
  • 00:41:22.504 --> 00:41:24.506
  • Allow me to be that person.
  • 00:41:24.506 --> 00:41:25.674
  • Hold on to hope.
  • 00:41:25.674 --> 00:41:29.811
  • Hold on to the word of god.
  • 00:41:29.811 --> 00:41:32.147
  • Hold on to the promise that he gave you.
  • 00:41:32.147 --> 00:41:34.583
  • Write it down.
  • 00:41:34.583 --> 00:41:36.418
  • Habakkuk says, make it plain.
  • 00:41:36.418 --> 00:41:38.954
  • The vision.
  • 00:41:38.954 --> 00:41:40.288
  • If god said it, the bible says he is not a man that he should
  • 00:41:40.288 --> 00:41:42.524
  • Lie.
  • 00:41:42.524 --> 00:41:44.225
  • If he said it he will do it.
  • 00:41:44.225 --> 00:41:46.962
  • You are in the waiting.
  • 00:41:46.962 --> 00:41:47.796
  • In between.
  • 00:41:47.796 --> 00:41:49.664
  • You don't want to look back at this season and say,
  • 00:41:49.664 --> 00:41:52.734
  • I wish i held on to hope.
  • 00:41:52.734 --> 00:41:54.369
  • I'm gonna believe for you today that god that said it will do
  • 00:41:54.369 --> 00:41:55.971
  • It.
  • 00:41:55.971 --> 00:41:56.705
  • So come on, pick yourself up.
  • 00:41:56.705 --> 00:41:59.140
  • Hold your head high.
  • 00:41:59.140 --> 00:42:01.743
  • And put a death grip on that faith.
  • 00:42:01.743 --> 00:42:03.678
  • Hold on to hope.
  • 00:42:03.678 --> 00:42:05.547
  • That is something you can white knuckle.
  • 00:42:05.547 --> 00:42:08.383
  • Because the god who said it will do it.
  • 00:42:08.383 --> 00:42:10.652
  • I want you to be someone faithful that holds on to faith
  • 00:42:10.652 --> 00:42:13.488
  • In the process.
  • 00:42:13.488 --> 00:42:15.724
  • >> laurie: but with naomi, her bitterness distorted the way she
  • 00:42:15.724 --> 00:42:19.427
  • Even saw the redemption coming through ruth.
  • 00:42:19.427 --> 00:42:22.397
  • Staying with her.
  • 00:42:22.397 --> 00:42:24.099
  • So, it can cloud your vision.
  • 00:42:24.099 --> 00:42:27.435
  • >> holly: the miracle is that ruth stayed the course.
  • 00:42:27.435 --> 00:42:31.106
  • >> laurie: sometimes we think if you have faith it takes all the
  • 00:42:31.106 --> 00:42:34.009
  • Pain away and all the trouble and all the trials.
  • 00:42:34.009 --> 00:42:36.911
  • It just put you in position.
  • 00:42:36.911 --> 00:42:38.813
  • Even when jacobed placed moses in the nile.
  • 00:42:38.813 --> 00:42:42.417
  • She did that out of obedience for his protection and his
  • 00:42:42.417 --> 00:42:47.222
  • Influence.
  • 00:42:47.222 --> 00:42:49.791
  • That's what came after that step of faith.
  • 00:42:49.791 --> 00:42:54.896
  • After naomi and ruth, that action of receiving and letting
  • 00:42:54.896 --> 00:42:59.401
  • Ruth come.
  • 00:42:59.401 --> 00:43:00.568
  • It changes everything for history.
  • 00:43:00.568 --> 00:43:03.104
  • >> holly: jesus was born in that lineage.
  • 00:43:03.104 --> 00:43:04.305
  • Right?
  • 00:43:04.305 --> 00:43:06.274
  • >> deedee: i think, if we as moms would go to the father and
  • 00:43:06.274 --> 00:43:10.779
  • Ask for vision.
  • 00:43:10.779 --> 00:43:12.814
  • When you look over there in habakkuk,
  • 00:43:12.814 --> 00:43:15.050
  • And you look the word vision, when it talks about write your
  • 00:43:15.050 --> 00:43:17.986
  • Vision and make it plain, that vision was a prophetic word that
  • 00:43:17.986 --> 00:43:20.422
  • Came from god.
  • 00:43:20.422 --> 00:43:21.790
  • Whenever you get a word from god, it brings hope.
  • 00:43:21.790 --> 00:43:26.027
  • Because you know, you already know the end.
  • 00:43:26.027 --> 00:43:28.763
  • You don't even have to-- even though you got to,
  • 00:43:28.763 --> 00:43:31.366
  • We live by faith i understand that.
  • 00:43:31.366 --> 00:43:32.367
  • But if i told you it was water out here.
  • 00:43:32.367 --> 00:43:36.604
  • You are going to go out here.
  • 00:43:36.604 --> 00:43:38.106
  • You are not going to have to believe it is out there.
  • 00:43:38.106 --> 00:43:40.508
  • You already know it's there.
  • 00:43:40.508 --> 00:43:41.676
  • So that vision gives you a knowing.
  • 00:43:41.676 --> 00:43:45.013
  • And that knowing is what brings you hope to be able to endure
  • 00:43:45.013 --> 00:43:48.283
  • Whatever it is you have to go through.
  • 00:43:48.283 --> 00:43:50.618
  • Okay, i have to go through this.
  • 00:43:50.618 --> 00:43:52.487
  • I've been through some tough things in my life.
  • 00:43:52.487 --> 00:43:54.589
  • Because i've gotten a word from god.
  • 00:43:54.589 --> 00:43:56.825
  • Because i've seen the vision, it has given me hope to be able to
  • 00:43:56.825 --> 00:43:59.828
  • Endure it.
  • 00:43:59.828 --> 00:44:00.829
  • >> laurie: so good.
  • 00:44:00.829 --> 00:44:02.097
  • >> debra: someone once asked me at a seminar,
  • 00:44:02.097 --> 00:44:06.901
  • How do you not be as sad as your saddest child?
  • 00:44:06.901 --> 00:44:12.373
  • Because when your kids are suffering or walking through
  • 00:44:12.373 --> 00:44:15.877
  • Mental health issues, depression, anxiety.
  • 00:44:15.877 --> 00:44:20.915
  • There are some serious things people are walking through.
  • 00:44:20.915 --> 00:44:23.151
  • How do you not be as sad as your saddest child?
  • 00:44:23.151 --> 00:44:29.124
  • And i really had to think about that for a minute.
  • 00:44:29.124 --> 00:44:31.760
  • Kind of what we are talking about here is the idea of
  • 00:44:31.760 --> 00:44:39.634
  • Emotionally unhooking from the person, the pain, and instead,
  • 00:44:39.634 --> 00:44:42.070
  • Hooking on to jesus.
  • 00:44:42.070 --> 00:44:45.573
  • My emotions are not hooked on the emotional roller coaster
  • 00:44:45.573 --> 00:44:51.579
  • That my kids are going through.
  • 00:44:51.579 --> 00:44:53.481
  • And they have to go through it in life.
  • 00:44:53.481 --> 00:44:55.183
  • Or a family member, or whoever, i have to unhook from them,
  • 00:44:55.183 --> 00:44:59.220
  • And hook and to jesus.
  • 00:44:59.220 --> 00:45:02.490
  • I can't jump in the water and rescue them when they're
  • 00:45:02.490 --> 00:45:06.828
  • Drowning.
  • 00:45:06.828 --> 00:45:07.829
  • Because i might drown.
  • 00:45:07.829 --> 00:45:09.798
  • But what i can do is throw them the lifesaver and stay grounded
  • 00:45:09.798 --> 00:45:12.367
  • In jesus.
  • 00:45:12.367 --> 00:45:13.268
  • Trusting that he is the lifesaver.
  • 00:45:13.268 --> 00:45:17.806
  • He is the one that's gonna do the work of salvation.
  • 00:45:17.806 --> 00:45:19.707
  • And my job is, as best as i'm able to,
  • 00:45:19.707 --> 00:45:24.612
  • To continue to hook my emotions on him.
  • 00:45:24.612 --> 00:45:27.182
  • It does not mean i don't experience sadness and sorrow
  • 00:45:27.182 --> 00:45:30.418
  • And grief.
  • 00:45:30.418 --> 00:45:32.353
  • It just means my reality is him and what he's doing.
  • 00:45:32.353 --> 00:45:36.958
  • That's where i stay grounded.
  • 00:45:36.958 --> 00:45:40.762
  • I feel that is something in seasons of suffering,
  • 00:45:40.762 --> 00:45:43.798
  • And when your kids are suffering.
  • 00:45:43.798 --> 00:45:48.336
  • Sometimes as moms we can be co-dependent and we don't
  • 00:45:48.336 --> 00:45:49.170
  • Realize it.
  • 00:45:49.170 --> 00:45:50.171
  • Our happiness, our joy, our fulfillment,
  • 00:45:50.171 --> 00:45:51.973
  • Our purpose is connected to them.
  • 00:45:51.973 --> 00:45:54.209
  • Rather than to him.
  • 00:45:54.209 --> 00:45:56.878
  • >> laurie: okay, now you're preaching.
  • 00:45:56.878 --> 00:45:58.980
  • >> holly: you can say that again for the people in the back.
  • 00:45:58.980 --> 00:45:59.881
  • (laughter)
  • 00:45:59.881 --> 00:46:01.382
  • >> debra: doesn't it happen sometimes so subtly,
  • 00:46:01.382 --> 00:46:04.419
  • The shift happens so subtly that we don't even realize it's
  • 00:46:04.419 --> 00:46:07.188
  • Happening.
  • 00:46:07.188 --> 00:46:08.523
  • So i think each day there has to be this reset.
  • 00:46:08.523 --> 00:46:10.859
  • Who am i rooted in?
  • 00:46:10.859 --> 00:46:12.760
  • Who am i grounded in?
  • 00:46:12.760 --> 00:46:14.095
  • >> laurie: grab the little ropes and hook it on to the same hope.
  • 00:46:14.095 --> 00:46:18.399
  • >> debra: exactly.
  • 00:46:18.399 --> 00:46:20.101
  • >> holly: we are talking about motherhood,
  • 00:46:20.101 --> 00:46:21.336
  • But that also applies to marriage.
  • 00:46:21.336 --> 00:46:22.170
  • The same thing.
  • 00:46:22.170 --> 00:46:23.238
  • >> laurie: god is the source of everything.
  • 00:46:23.238 --> 00:46:25.707
  • We have to look to him for your joy, satisfaction, your peace.
  • 00:46:25.707 --> 00:46:29.577
  • >> debra: i think it even happens more subtly in
  • 00:46:29.577 --> 00:46:34.048
  • Parenting.
  • 00:46:34.048 --> 00:46:35.750
  • >> holly: i think you're right.
  • 00:46:35.750 --> 00:46:37.051
  • >> debra: in marriage you kind of know.
  • 00:46:37.051 --> 00:46:39.554
  • He is not supposed to be my god.
  • 00:46:39.554 --> 00:46:40.688
  • >> deedee: i didn't know that.
  • 00:46:40.688 --> 00:46:41.322
  • I'm just saying.
  • 00:46:41.322 --> 00:46:41.990
  • I didn't know that.
  • 00:46:41.990 --> 00:46:48.863
  • I mean, it was real subtle for me with him.
  • 00:46:48.863 --> 00:46:50.398
  • It was like, he is the source of my satisfaction.
  • 00:46:50.398 --> 00:46:52.800
  • He is everything.
  • 00:46:52.800 --> 00:46:54.836
  • If he was not happy.
  • 00:46:54.836 --> 00:46:55.603
  • I was not happy.
  • 00:46:55.603 --> 00:46:56.671
  • If he didn't smile, i didn't smile.
  • 00:46:56.671 --> 00:46:58.273
  • If he said something wrong.
  • 00:46:58.273 --> 00:46:59.173
  • It just ruined my whole day.
  • 00:46:59.173 --> 00:47:00.275
  • Because i didn't have a clue.
  • 00:47:00.275 --> 00:47:02.710
  • When i started developing my relationship with the word,
  • 00:47:02.710 --> 00:47:04.913
  • I was like, oh, i'm expecting him to give me something he was
  • 00:47:04.913 --> 00:47:09.150
  • Never equipped to give me.
  • 00:47:09.150 --> 00:47:12.353
  • When i learned that, jesus is the source of my satisfaction,
  • 00:47:12.353 --> 00:47:14.822
  • It was like, okay, let me cast that care.
  • 00:47:14.822 --> 00:47:17.625
  • Let me develop who i am.
  • 00:47:17.625 --> 00:47:19.427
  • It goes back to me not knowing who i happen to be coming from
  • 00:47:19.427 --> 00:47:23.831
  • The home i came from.
  • 00:47:23.831 --> 00:47:25.967
  • So, it affected every area of my life.
  • 00:47:25.967 --> 00:47:29.370
  • Me as a wife.
  • 00:47:29.370 --> 00:47:30.104
  • Me as a mom.
  • 00:47:30.104 --> 00:47:31.272
  • Me as a business owner.
  • 00:47:31.272 --> 00:47:33.341
  • Every area of my life, it just, you know, impacted.
  • 00:47:33.341 --> 00:47:35.510
  • I had to get--
  • 00:47:35.510 --> 00:47:36.811
  • >> laurie: it all comes down to that unmet expectations.
  • 00:47:36.811 --> 00:47:39.280
  • >> deedee: yes.
  • 00:47:39.280 --> 00:47:44.953
  • >> laurie: those unmet expectations,
  • 00:47:44.953 --> 00:47:45.920
  • And the way we should have it.
  • 00:47:45.920 --> 00:47:46.688
  • And again.
  • 00:47:46.688 --> 00:47:48.389
  • >> holly: unrealistic.
  • 00:47:48.389 --> 00:47:49.724
  • >> laurie: and again, that surrender to god where we give
  • 00:47:49.724 --> 00:47:53.528
  • Power over for your power.
  • 00:47:53.528 --> 00:47:55.630
  • >> deedee: unrealistic.
  • 00:47:55.630 --> 00:47:57.432
  • >> holly: unrealistic expectations for our kids too,
  • 00:47:57.432 --> 00:48:00.501
  • To your point.
  • 00:48:00.501 --> 00:48:01.970
  • Our happiness we think comes from them,
  • 00:48:01.970 --> 00:48:04.439
  • Or-- i can't take the blame or the credit.
  • 00:48:04.439 --> 00:48:08.743
  • I'm just going to trust god.
  • 00:48:08.743 --> 00:48:10.511
  • And then they get to work out the rest of their salvation with
  • 00:48:10.511 --> 00:48:14.315
  • God too.
  • 00:48:14.315 --> 00:48:17.719
  • >> holly: in life we will all go through seasons that are hard.
  • 00:48:17.719 --> 00:48:20.755
  • And some seasons that are really painful.
  • 00:48:20.755 --> 00:48:24.592
  • Oftentimes in those seasons perhaps we are tempted to
  • 00:48:24.592 --> 00:48:32.633
  • Withdraw, or shake our fist at god and get angry.
  • 00:48:32.633 --> 00:48:34.035
  • I want to encourage you, in the middle of those painful seasons,
  • 00:48:34.035 --> 00:48:36.871
  • This is the time when we can trust god with it.
  • 00:48:36.871 --> 00:48:40.141
  • Whether it's coming to him crying like i did with the
  • 00:48:40.141 --> 00:48:43.478
  • Situation with my daughter.
  • 00:48:43.478 --> 00:48:44.879
  • Like crying because you don't know what's going to happen.
  • 00:48:44.879 --> 00:48:48.750
  • He is not afraid of your tears.
  • 00:48:48.750 --> 00:48:50.518
  • He is not afraid of your emotions.
  • 00:48:50.518 --> 00:48:51.519
  • He is not afraid of your pain.
  • 00:48:51.519 --> 00:48:53.087
  • He wants to take it with you.
  • 00:48:53.087 --> 00:48:54.455
  • He wants to be present with you.
  • 00:48:54.455 --> 00:48:55.990
  • I think the more honest we are, the better.
  • 00:48:55.990 --> 00:48:59.060
  • So, bring your pain to god.
  • 00:48:59.060 --> 00:49:01.029
  • Bring your pain to him.
  • 00:49:01.029 --> 00:49:05.633
  • What i do know, he will sustain you through this.
  • 00:49:05.633 --> 00:49:12.707
  • Father, i know that just cuz we are all human,
  • 00:49:12.707 --> 00:49:15.176
  • Many of us are just in really challenging situations with our
  • 00:49:15.176 --> 00:49:17.111
  • Children, maybe, even with our moms,
  • 00:49:17.111 --> 00:49:19.714
  • Really in painful situations.
  • 00:49:19.714 --> 00:49:22.717
  • We've gone through heartbreak, whether it's the loss of a child
  • 00:49:22.717 --> 00:49:24.886
  • Or the loss of a relationship.
  • 00:49:24.886 --> 00:49:28.489
  • Even think right now, there are kids who are not talking to
  • 00:49:28.489 --> 00:49:30.825
  • Their parents.
  • 00:49:30.825 --> 00:49:31.559
  • They separated themselves.
  • 00:49:31.559 --> 00:49:33.227
  • It brings its own level of pain.
  • 00:49:33.227 --> 00:49:35.630
  • Father, i ask that you would intervene.
  • 00:49:35.630 --> 00:49:40.101
  • That you would do what only you can do in relationships.
  • 00:49:40.101 --> 00:49:43.304
  • That you would bring restoration.
  • 00:49:43.304 --> 00:49:44.705
  • That you would bring wisdom.
  • 00:49:44.705 --> 00:49:45.473
  • We thank you for that wisdom.
  • 00:49:45.473 --> 00:49:46.607
  • That you give generously.
  • 00:49:46.607 --> 00:49:47.408
  • We thank you for that wisdom.
  • 00:49:47.408 --> 00:49:49.677
  • And i just thank you, god, for peace.
  • 00:49:49.677 --> 00:49:51.646
  • Just peace and relationships.
  • 00:49:51.646 --> 00:49:55.183
  • I thank you, that whether it's a parent or a child,
  • 00:49:55.183 --> 00:49:59.554
  • Or grandparent, there is a humility that every person in
  • 00:49:59.554 --> 00:50:02.256
  • The relationship humbles themselves so they can hear from
  • 00:50:02.256 --> 00:50:05.426
  • You to get direction.
  • 00:50:05.426 --> 00:50:08.029
  • I thank you god for that ultimate restoration.
  • 00:50:08.029 --> 00:50:11.365
  • In jesus' name.
  • 00:50:11.365 --> 00:50:13.067
  • Amen.
  • 00:50:13.067 --> 00:50:15.837
  • >> laurie: connect with us on social media and let us know how
  • 00:50:15.837 --> 00:50:17.872
  • Our team can pray for you.
  • 00:50:17.872 --> 00:50:25.813
  • >> deedee: going through a life of faith doesn't mean that you
  • 00:50:25.813 --> 00:50:28.916
  • Are exempt from experiencing challenges.
  • 00:50:28.916 --> 00:50:31.853
  • So regardless of what it is that you're going through,
  • 00:50:31.853 --> 00:50:34.789
  • Trust the process.
  • 00:50:34.789 --> 00:50:37.024
  • Trust god for the outcome.
  • 00:50:37.024 --> 00:50:39.827
  • It's okay that you're hurting.
  • 00:50:39.827 --> 00:50:42.630
  • But this hurt won't last forever.
  • 00:50:42.630 --> 00:50:45.967
  • >> laurie: stream full episodes of "better together" on demand.
  • 00:50:45.967 --> 00:50:48.970
  • Go to bettertogether.tv to stream all of our latest
  • 00:50:48.970 --> 00:50:52.840
  • Conversations.
  • 00:50:52.840 --> 00:50:57.044
  • ♪ music ♪
  • 00:50:57.044 --> 00:50:57.044