Better Together

Who is the Proverbs 31 Woman? - Episode 1091

September 8, 2025 | S7 E1091 | 52:34

Proverbs 31 describes a superwoman who does it all--from making her own fabric to running a business. But God's purpose for this passage is not a "measure stick" to judge us. We were created to know God, rely on His wisdom, and rest in His grace. | TBN Prayer Line: 714-731-1000

#GodlyWoman #Overwhelming #Stress #Judgement #Wisdom #Strength #Grace #Stewardship #SpiritualGrowth #Generations #Inspirational #Character #FearoftheLord #Season #Parenting #RelationshipwithGod #IdentityinChrist #PersonalStory

Closed captions

Show Timecode

Better Together | Who is the Proverbs 31 Woman? - Episode 1091 | September 8, 2025

Laurie crouch: proverbs 31 describes a woman who is
00:00:00.824 --> 00:00:02.692
Virtuous, capable, and brave.
00:00:02.826 --> 00:00:04.761
We might be tempted to compare and try to see how we measure
00:00:04.894 --> 00:00:05.962
Up, but that's not how god treats his daughters.
00:00:08.064 --> 00:00:10.333
Come on, we need to talk about this.
00:00:10.333 --> 00:00:11.668
[music]
00:00:11.668 --> 00:00:40.163
Chrystal hurst: so i have this three-ring binder in my kitchen
00:00:21.678 --> 00:00:43.299
That is full of recipes.
00:00:43.299 --> 00:00:45.835
So i actually bought another binder off of amazon, and then
00:00:45.835 --> 00:00:49.239
It got fuller and fuller, and then the three rings started
00:00:49.239 --> 00:00:51.574
Not connecting.
00:00:51.574 --> 00:00:52.909
So then i just went and got from sam's club or whatever, like a
00:00:52.909 --> 00:00:55.678
Big three-ring and just put everything in it, and i've been
00:00:55.678 --> 00:00:57.981
Adding to it.
00:00:57.981 --> 00:00:59.315
It just sits on a shelf in my kitchen.
00:00:59.315 --> 00:01:02.085
And i recently had my daughter come over, and she commented
00:01:02.085 --> 00:01:05.522
On it.
00:01:05.522 --> 00:01:06.856
She said, "oh my gosh, why do you have so many recipes?"
00:01:06.856 --> 00:01:10.393
And i was like, well, i've just been collecting them, you know,
00:01:10.393 --> 00:01:12.428
Over time.
00:01:12.428 --> 00:01:13.796
You know, she's asked me before, sometimes when i'm throwing
00:01:13.796 --> 00:01:16.266
Something together, like, how do you know just to put this
00:01:16.266 --> 00:01:18.668
With this?
00:01:18.668 --> 00:01:20.036
Like you just made this up.
00:01:20.036 --> 00:01:21.371
And i'm like, it's because i've been cooking over time.
00:01:21.371 --> 00:01:23.206
I think often when we look at other christian women, or we
00:01:23.206 --> 00:01:27.644
Have in our own heads what the ideal of being a woman who loves
00:01:27.644 --> 00:01:31.814
God is like, we are looking at the recipe book that's been
00:01:31.814 --> 00:01:34.751
Collected over years, or we're looking at the flip of the
00:01:34.751 --> 00:01:37.954
Wrist, that's what i call it when you kind of just know what
00:01:37.954 --> 00:01:39.722
To do in the kitchen that's been developed over the years, and
00:01:39.722 --> 00:01:43.893
This is symbolic i think of what happens when women look at
00:01:43.893 --> 00:01:47.263
Proverbs chapter 31, and they go for real?
00:01:47.263 --> 00:01:50.066
All of that?
00:01:50.066 --> 00:01:51.434
Like, how are you supposed to do all of that?
00:01:51.434 --> 00:01:53.069
But really this is a collection of recipes that's been collected
00:01:53.069 --> 00:01:57.707
Over time.
00:01:57.707 --> 00:01:59.075
And if you arrive at the recipe book or you arrive at the
00:01:59.075 --> 00:02:01.644
Chapter and you say, well, i'm supposed to be able to do all
00:02:01.644 --> 00:02:04.447
That today, you missed the point of collecting and building
00:02:04.447 --> 00:02:07.884
Over time.
00:02:07.884 --> 00:02:09.219
So i know a lot of women have a complicated relationship with
00:02:09.219 --> 00:02:12.055
Proverbs chapter 31, because first of all, why do i have to
00:02:12.055 --> 00:02:15.091
Be the one that does all of that?
00:02:15.091 --> 00:02:16.426
You know what i'm saying?
00:02:16.426 --> 00:02:17.794
That's an incorrect assumption that you're doing all of that
00:02:17.794 --> 00:02:19.996
And specifically that you're doing all of it at the
00:02:19.996 --> 00:02:22.599
Same time.
00:02:22.599 --> 00:02:23.967
We've got to leave room for growth, development, and for the
00:02:23.967 --> 00:02:28.004
Skills that god wants us to use in different seasons of
00:02:28.004 --> 00:02:30.740
Our lives.
00:02:30.740 --> 00:02:32.075
So i'm curious for you all, do you have or have you had a
00:02:32.075 --> 00:02:35.645
Complicated relationship with that chapter of the bible?
00:02:35.645 --> 00:02:39.148
And if so, why?
00:02:39.148 --> 00:02:40.483
Sheila walsh: i actually love what you just shared, because
00:02:40.483 --> 00:02:43.853
That kind of puts some things in perspective for me.
00:02:43.853 --> 00:02:45.989
Because when i think of my own growing up, my grandmother, my
00:02:45.989 --> 00:02:49.058
Mom's mom lived two miles away from us, so she was with us
00:02:49.058 --> 00:02:52.729
Almost all the time, and like my mom never felt confident in her
00:02:52.729 --> 00:02:56.733
Ability to like throw a dinner party or something.
00:02:56.733 --> 00:02:59.435
You know, she would get very nervous, whereas my grandmother
00:02:59.435 --> 00:03:02.238
Was very comfortable, but i watched the way that they kind
00:03:02.238 --> 00:03:04.874
Of went together, and as the granddaughter and the daughter,
00:03:04.874 --> 00:03:08.845
I learned from both of them.
00:03:08.845 --> 00:03:11.414
So there's something about layer upon layer and time upon time
00:03:11.414 --> 00:03:14.784
And recipe upon recipe of how things are done in a family.
00:03:14.784 --> 00:03:18.187
'cause i used to read this and think, oh, for goodness sake.
00:03:18.187 --> 00:03:20.657
She makes her own bedspreads.
00:03:20.657 --> 00:03:22.392
Toni collier: oh, i don't even make my own bed, okay?
00:03:22.392 --> 00:03:27.163
Sheila: things like that, if you just think literally like, okay,
00:03:27.163 --> 00:03:29.866
I have to do all of this, i mean it's like when do you sleep?
00:03:29.866 --> 00:03:32.135
I think we have a misunderstanding of who this was
00:03:32.135 --> 00:03:35.538
Written by and who it was written for.
00:03:35.538 --> 00:03:38.708
Chrystal: i love proverbs 31, because i have learned to look
00:03:38.708 --> 00:03:41.944
At it like a template of possibilities.
00:03:41.944 --> 00:03:45.581
Just like in the word of god, we are told from genesis to
00:03:45.581 --> 00:03:49.285
Revelation what god is, who he is, what he's like, and what he
00:03:49.285 --> 00:03:53.389
Wants for us, and there's a plethora of things for us to
00:03:53.389 --> 00:03:55.925
Learn and do, but god does not expect us to do all of those
00:03:55.925 --> 00:03:59.595
Things perfectly all at the same time, and proverbs 31
00:03:59.595 --> 00:04:02.665
Is no different.
00:04:02.665 --> 00:04:04.033
It is a template, it is a picture of what's possible, but
00:04:04.033 --> 00:04:07.203
If you look at the template and then look towards the holy
00:04:07.203 --> 00:04:09.972
Spirit to guide you, he will show you what to put into action
00:04:09.972 --> 00:04:14.077
One step at a time.
00:04:14.077 --> 00:04:15.411
So don't be overwhelmed by all the options, just look to the
00:04:15.411 --> 00:04:18.014
Lord and say what part of this template do you want me to
00:04:18.014 --> 00:04:21.084
Follow this time?
00:04:21.084 --> 00:04:23.419
Toni: that's what's exciting for me.
00:04:23.419 --> 00:04:24.887
First of all, i'm gonna answer your question about having a
00:04:24.887 --> 00:04:26.723
Complicated relationship with proverbs 31.
00:04:26.723 --> 00:04:28.925
No, but it's because it took me a long time to get saved, so i
00:04:28.925 --> 00:04:31.594
Wasn't like in the church, and i didn't really feel the brunt of
00:04:31.594 --> 00:04:34.797
Like purity culture and proverbs 31 and this is the woman that
00:04:34.797 --> 00:04:37.734
You need to be.
00:04:37.734 --> 00:04:39.068
Honestly, i wish i had a little bit more.
00:04:39.068 --> 00:04:40.436
Maybe it wouldn't--maybe i would have gotten saved a little
00:04:40.436 --> 00:04:42.205
Bit sooner, but i like that, though, because i come into this
00:04:42.205 --> 00:04:45.675
Very green, and i'm looking at these words.
00:04:45.675 --> 00:04:47.677
Like, oh my goodness, what an amazing blueprint, like this is
00:04:47.677 --> 00:04:50.613
So great.
00:04:50.613 --> 00:04:51.948
I can aspire to this, because i think when you get saved a
00:04:51.948 --> 00:04:54.684
Little later in life, you kinda really build a faith of your
00:04:54.684 --> 00:04:57.387
Very own.
00:04:57.387 --> 00:04:58.755
No one's influencing me in my faith, so when i read this,
00:04:58.755 --> 00:05:01.391
I actually get excited.
00:05:01.391 --> 00:05:02.759
I'm like, well, thank you finally.
00:05:02.759 --> 00:05:04.227
I'm like, well, what are we supposed to do outside of not
00:05:04.227 --> 00:05:06.496
Working in the club?
00:05:06.496 --> 00:05:07.830
You know what i'm saying?
00:05:07.830 --> 00:05:09.165
It's like, oh, this.
00:05:09.165 --> 00:05:10.533
Like this is what i can aspire to.
00:05:10.533 --> 00:05:11.868
But even more than that, as i was studying proverbs chapter
00:05:11.868 --> 00:05:14.437
31, i started obviously at the beginning, but i feel like we
00:05:14.437 --> 00:05:17.573
Don't start at the beginning a whole bunch.
00:05:17.573 --> 00:05:19.041
We skip right on down to verse 10 where it's describing the
00:05:19.041 --> 00:05:22.612
Woman and we miss verses 1 through 9, which is about who
00:05:22.612 --> 00:05:25.081
The man is supposed to be in order to even be prepared for a
00:05:25.081 --> 00:05:29.652
Woman like this, and i love that, because again, it's
00:05:29.652 --> 00:05:33.055
Another thing that i have just missed for so many years because
00:05:33.055 --> 00:05:36.692
I'm so concerned about who i need to be.
00:05:36.692 --> 00:05:38.694
Elyse mahan: ooh, that's so good.
00:05:38.694 --> 00:05:40.062
Toni: right?
00:05:40.062 --> 00:05:41.397
Like i'm so concerned so i'm going verse 10, but verse 4, it
00:05:41.397 --> 00:05:43.232
Talks about this idea of men, of kings not being, you know, drunk
00:05:43.232 --> 00:05:47.603
And out of control that they would be loose and they would
00:05:47.603 --> 00:05:50.540
Perish, that they would actually bring anguish to their lives,
00:05:50.540 --> 00:05:54.110
That even the men are supposed to have self-control so that
00:05:54.110 --> 00:05:57.146
They can even be in a place where they deserve
00:05:57.146 --> 00:05:58.915
A woman like this.
00:05:58.915 --> 00:06:00.249
Sheila: that's good.
00:06:00.249 --> 00:06:01.584
Toni: and i just love that, and i think that when we start to
00:06:01.584 --> 00:06:04.053
Study the bible for our very own, and we don't allow humanity
00:06:04.053 --> 00:06:07.723
To influence our relationship with god and our understanding
00:06:07.723 --> 00:06:10.126
Of his word, we ourselves in our health and strength and our
00:06:10.126 --> 00:06:14.130
Intentionality around our faith start to realize like, no,
00:06:14.130 --> 00:06:17.200
There's some balance here.
00:06:17.200 --> 00:06:18.601
There's some requirement of the men, there's some requirement
00:06:18.601 --> 00:06:21.304
And expectations of the woman.
00:06:21.304 --> 00:06:23.039
And i don't know, i think we build healthy relationships off
00:06:23.039 --> 00:06:26.008
Of proverbs 31.
00:06:26.008 --> 00:06:27.643
Blynda lane: that's powerful.
00:06:27.643 --> 00:06:29.345
In fact, i actually remember hearing that you should at some
00:06:29.345 --> 00:06:33.816
Point read it as a marriage scripture.
00:06:33.816 --> 00:06:36.018
Instead just we always think, yeah, there's all of proverbs,
00:06:36.018 --> 00:06:39.255
This wisdom literature, and then the last chapter's always for
00:06:39.255 --> 00:06:42.492
The women, you know?
00:06:42.492 --> 00:06:45.194
Elyse: chapters for the men.
00:06:45.194 --> 00:06:46.529
Blynda: women take note, i think especially when you read at the
00:06:46.529 --> 00:06:48.264
Very beginning, and it's a mom saying, hey, son of my womb,
00:06:48.264 --> 00:06:52.435
Take note of all of these things.
00:06:52.435 --> 00:06:55.104
You know, take note of how should you live as a righteous
00:06:55.104 --> 00:06:58.007
Man, and what kind of woman of noble character should you be
00:06:58.007 --> 00:07:01.010
Looking for?
00:07:01.010 --> 00:07:02.378
What does that even mean?
00:07:02.378 --> 00:07:03.713
I love it.
00:07:03.713 --> 00:07:05.081
Elyse: that's powerful right there.
00:07:05.081 --> 00:07:06.415
For me growing up in church, i had church growing up.
00:07:06.415 --> 00:07:08.084
I still landed in that same place.
00:07:08.084 --> 00:07:09.318
So even if you'd had a little bit of church, we might have
00:07:09.318 --> 00:07:11.120
Still had the similar journey.
00:07:11.120 --> 00:07:12.455
Do you know what i'm saying?
00:07:12.455 --> 00:07:13.789
But i think for me, growing up, i hadn't researched it either.
00:07:13.789 --> 00:07:16.592
And so i had these verses taken out of proverbs 31, spoken at me
00:07:16.592 --> 00:07:21.531
In different women's events, at youth events, like,
00:07:21.531 --> 00:07:24.033
Be like this.
00:07:24.033 --> 00:07:25.368
And i was like is she even like this?
00:07:25.368 --> 00:07:26.836
Like, i was so confused on how she was able to do all of this,
00:07:26.836 --> 00:07:30.940
And it wasn't until i was living in los angeles at oasis church
00:07:30.940 --> 00:07:35.111
With pastor holly wagner, who is one of us, that she was like,
00:07:35.111 --> 00:07:39.682
"elyse, have you ever actually studied this verse?"
00:07:39.682 --> 00:07:41.417
As holly would do.
00:07:41.417 --> 00:07:42.785
And i was like, no, of course i have, just remind me, obviously
00:07:42.785 --> 00:07:45.788
What it--what the, you know, just mentor, tell me.
00:07:45.788 --> 00:07:51.494
And she was like when it says that she rises while it is yet
00:07:51.494 --> 00:07:55.464
Night, 'cause that was the one for me that i had so much
00:07:55.464 --> 00:07:59.201
Problem with.
00:07:59.201 --> 00:08:00.536
I was like why doesn't she get to sleep ever?
00:08:00.536 --> 00:08:02.071
Where is the husband today?
00:08:02.071 --> 00:08:03.639
Like, when does she get to nap?
00:08:03.639 --> 00:08:05.474
She was like, "elyse, that isn't in context of the time of day
00:08:05.474 --> 00:08:08.311
That she gets up."
00:08:08.311 --> 00:08:09.645
That verse in the original, that word for night meant when it is
00:08:09.645 --> 00:08:12.782
Chaos and calamity around her, when she's in a storm, when the
00:08:12.782 --> 00:08:16.852
World is falling apart, she rises in the middle of that.
00:08:16.852 --> 00:08:20.156
And then i was like i'm gonna take that and actually study it,
00:08:20.156 --> 00:08:24.627
And when i realized that this whole speaking to me was from a
00:08:24.627 --> 00:08:29.098
Mother to a son and was also not this checklist for us, but was
00:08:29.098 --> 00:08:33.436
This celebration of all of the things that a woman could be and
00:08:33.436 --> 00:08:37.907
That it wasn't just talking to this martha stewart woman that
00:08:37.907 --> 00:08:41.210
Would bake casseroles.
00:08:41.210 --> 00:08:42.578
And if that is your thing, then more power to you.
00:08:42.578 --> 00:08:44.914
I wish i could bake a casserole, honestly.
00:08:44.914 --> 00:08:47.350
But that wasn't just for her.
00:08:47.350 --> 00:08:49.018
It was this chapter that was talking about a mighty
00:08:49.018 --> 00:08:52.188
Warrior woman.
00:08:52.188 --> 00:08:53.556
It wasn't--virtuous woman wasn't this sit in the kitchen
00:08:53.556 --> 00:08:56.892
Quietly and then come to church quietly and don't take up
00:08:56.892 --> 00:09:00.496
Too much space.
00:09:00.496 --> 00:09:01.864
It was a woman that needed to rise up and actually go
00:09:01.864 --> 00:09:04.467
To battle.
00:09:04.467 --> 00:09:05.835
And when that was the woman that i was reading about, i was like,
00:09:05.835 --> 00:09:08.838
Oh, i can aspire to that kind of woman.
00:09:08.838 --> 00:09:11.974
And so i think that for me, it was all about the context.
00:09:11.974 --> 00:09:14.944
Growing up in church has been often my own kryptonite, if you
00:09:14.944 --> 00:09:18.948
Will, of like when i didn't understand something, it was
00:09:18.948 --> 00:09:21.784
Really easy to push it away.
00:09:21.784 --> 00:09:23.653
But the second i started to research it, i realized more and
00:09:23.653 --> 00:09:27.089
More the love letter that this whole thing is.
00:09:27.089 --> 00:09:30.426
And it's a love letter to women.
00:09:30.426 --> 00:09:33.062
Proverbs 31 is actually a love letter to women celebrating us.
00:09:33.062 --> 00:09:36.365
And so that to me, i was like, listen, i can't do all the
00:09:36.365 --> 00:09:38.934
Things she does, but i'm not meant to.
00:09:38.934 --> 00:09:40.936
And that to me, changed everything.
00:09:40.936 --> 00:09:43.639
Blynda: what i would tell you if you're struggling with the
00:09:43.639 --> 00:09:46.308
Proverbs 31 example of womanhood is if you can think of it this
00:09:46.308 --> 00:09:50.813
Way, first thing i would say is grace.
00:09:50.813 --> 00:09:52.882
Let there just be a lot of grace when you read this scripture.
00:09:52.882 --> 00:09:56.185
Grace over your life, grace for what the lord has done
00:09:56.185 --> 00:09:58.821
In your life.
00:09:58.821 --> 00:10:00.189
But i would think if you could remember this, proverbs 31 is
00:10:00.189 --> 00:10:04.360
Meant to inspire, not to intimidate.
00:10:04.360 --> 00:10:07.963
So if you're reading it thinking i could never measure up, you're
00:10:07.963 --> 00:10:11.200
Reading through a lens of intimidation, that there's a
00:10:11.200 --> 00:10:13.769
Woman out there that's better than you, doing more than you,
00:10:13.769 --> 00:10:17.406
Hitting goals faster than you.
00:10:17.406 --> 00:10:19.775
But if you can think of it as terms of this is a character,
00:10:19.775 --> 00:10:22.745
They're talking about the character and the heart of a
00:10:22.745 --> 00:10:25.047
Woman, and if you can read it as an inspiration, that lord, i
00:10:25.047 --> 00:10:29.585
Just want to build my character that i reflect you, and if i can
00:10:29.585 --> 00:10:33.823
Live a life that reflects you, then i will in turn be a
00:10:33.823 --> 00:10:37.126
Proverbs 31 woman.
00:10:37.126 --> 00:10:39.128
Sheila: i love it as a word to mothers of sons.
00:10:39.128 --> 00:10:42.098
You know, because i've never really read it that way before,
00:10:42.098 --> 00:10:44.366
But as a mother of a son, to help us, a son, even when he's
00:10:44.366 --> 00:10:48.270
Younger understand, you know, there's some characteristics
00:10:48.270 --> 00:10:51.340
That you might want to look for in a wife.
00:10:51.340 --> 00:10:53.776
Because i think we just pray for our sons that they'll find
00:10:53.776 --> 00:10:56.078
The right person.
00:10:56.078 --> 00:10:57.413
But to see this as a kind of window through which our sons
00:10:57.413 --> 00:11:00.015
Could look, i think it's a gift really.
00:11:00.015 --> 00:11:02.418
Blynda: but i think it's important, too, to note that i
00:11:02.418 --> 00:11:05.387
Think when we read it, we have to remember it's not
00:11:05.387 --> 00:11:07.623
Prescriptive, it's descriptive, meaning the prescription would
00:11:07.623 --> 00:11:12.161
Be take one pill a day and do, you know, so do this every day
00:11:12.161 --> 00:11:15.931
And this is the kind of character, and this is the kind
00:11:15.931 --> 00:11:18.100
Of person you'll be.
00:11:18.100 --> 00:11:19.468
It's descriptive because it's wisdom literature.
00:11:19.468 --> 00:11:21.403
We have to remember that's what proverbs is.
00:11:21.403 --> 00:11:22.838
I said that earlier, but it's wisdom literature, and it speaks
00:11:22.838 --> 00:11:25.908
About lady wisdom throughout the scripture.
00:11:25.908 --> 00:11:28.711
And so we know lady wisdom, what it's talking about is there's
00:11:28.711 --> 00:11:32.915
Character built within a person who fears the lord.
00:11:32.915 --> 00:11:37.286
And when we fear the lord, there's character built within
00:11:37.286 --> 00:11:40.022
Us, and so it's descriptive of a person who fears the lord, who
00:11:40.022 --> 00:11:44.894
Walks with the lord, and who carries the wisdom of the lord.
00:11:44.894 --> 00:11:48.764
It's not prescriptive if you do a, b, c, you'll get this, or
00:11:48.764 --> 00:11:52.768
You'll be qualified to be this kind of wife or this kind
00:11:52.768 --> 00:11:55.104
Of woman.
00:11:55.104 --> 00:11:56.438
I think that's where it has become burdensome to the woman,
00:11:56.438 --> 00:11:59.608
Because it's like, well, i don't get up this time.
00:11:59.608 --> 00:12:01.877
I don't do this.
00:12:01.877 --> 00:12:03.212
I don't do that.
00:12:03.212 --> 00:12:04.580
So now i don't qualify as a proverbs 31 woman when really
00:12:04.580 --> 00:12:07.516
We're talking about if you think of the whole book as wisdom
00:12:07.516 --> 00:12:10.486
Literature, it's telling you the wise way to live your life that
00:12:10.486 --> 00:12:13.789
You can walk in the fear of the lord.
00:12:13.789 --> 00:12:15.724
And so it's more descriptive of ways and suggestions.
00:12:15.724 --> 00:12:19.028
It's kind of a cohesive way, composite way to say this is the
00:12:19.028 --> 00:12:24.133
Kind of character that can be built within someone who has the
00:12:24.133 --> 00:12:27.803
Fear of the lord and then you can walk that out in the way
00:12:27.803 --> 00:12:30.940
That god has uniquely made you.
00:12:30.940 --> 00:12:32.708
Toni: yeah, and the truth is when you talk about fear, we
00:12:32.708 --> 00:12:35.544
Think about the fear of the lord it's like, oh, he's gonna like
00:12:35.544 --> 00:12:38.013
Put his wrath on us, like, oh my goodness.
00:12:38.013 --> 00:12:39.782
No, it's a healthy reverence.
00:12:39.782 --> 00:12:41.483
And it makes me think about my daughter, she is 11, which i
00:12:41.483 --> 00:12:45.654
Can't even, but she's changing.
00:12:45.654 --> 00:12:48.090
There's a part, and my parenting is having to change and adjust
00:12:48.090 --> 00:12:51.160
To her independence.
00:12:51.160 --> 00:12:52.661
Before when she was just a little girl, you know, i told
00:12:52.661 --> 00:12:56.265
Her who to be like, okay, dylan, like we wanna say please and
00:12:56.265 --> 00:13:00.469
Thank, we wanna say yes ma'am, no ma'am, yes sir, no sir, we
00:13:00.469 --> 00:13:03.772
Wanna share, we want to be generous, you need to do this,
00:13:03.772 --> 00:13:06.075
You need to do that you need to do that, and the truth is that
00:13:06.075 --> 00:13:08.110
You need language is not working no more.
00:13:08.110 --> 00:13:10.512
It's not.
00:13:10.512 --> 00:13:11.847
So now it's more of an invitation for her.
00:13:11.847 --> 00:13:14.016
How do we want to treat people?
00:13:14.016 --> 00:13:16.151
Who do you want to be?
00:13:16.151 --> 00:13:18.053
This is who i want to be.
00:13:18.053 --> 00:13:19.388
I'm describing myself, who i want to be, who i aspire to be,
00:13:19.388 --> 00:13:22.524
And i'm having to change my verbiage towards her from you
00:13:22.524 --> 00:13:26.028
Need to do this, this, this and that, you need to be this, this
00:13:26.028 --> 00:13:28.130
And that to who do you want to be?
00:13:28.130 --> 00:13:30.099
Do you want to be a generous person?
00:13:30.099 --> 00:13:31.433
Do you want to be a humble person?
00:13:31.433 --> 00:13:32.768
Do you want to be a person that decides to go second?
00:13:32.768 --> 00:13:35.070
Because that's the character of jesus that he would serve and,
00:13:35.070 --> 00:13:37.573
You know, not to be served and it's just interesting to me, and
00:13:37.573 --> 00:13:40.576
I now think about this word, and the truth is what we need to
00:13:40.576 --> 00:13:43.512
Know as believers, just like what you're saying, is that the
00:13:43.512 --> 00:13:46.215
The bible is not oppressive, it's uplifting, or it's supposed
00:13:46.215 --> 00:13:49.451
To be, and the way that we process these words could feel
00:13:49.451 --> 00:13:52.655
Like, well, there's a big mean god, and he's saying you need to
00:13:52.655 --> 00:13:55.524
Do this and you need to be this way versus who do you wanna be?
00:13:55.524 --> 00:14:00.162
These are some of the qualities that submitted underneath a
00:14:00.162 --> 00:14:03.599
Healthy fear and righteousness of the lord.
00:14:03.599 --> 00:14:05.935
Do you want this?
00:14:05.935 --> 00:14:07.269
Do you wanna be this?
00:14:07.269 --> 00:14:08.637
And i think the world has turned it into do this, you need this,
00:14:08.637 --> 00:14:12.708
You need that, you need this, but when we invite women into a
00:14:12.708 --> 00:14:16.979
Person that we get to be in the name of christ, i think it just
00:14:16.979 --> 00:14:20.215
Hits different.
00:14:20.215 --> 00:14:21.550
Sheila: see, that's beautiful.
00:14:21.550 --> 00:14:22.918
That's that owning it themselves as opposed to.
00:14:22.918 --> 00:14:24.286
Toni: i'm choosing to be this way.
00:14:24.286 --> 00:14:26.855
Elyse: if i'm writing a letter to someone, i know who i'm
00:14:26.855 --> 00:14:30.592
Writing to, right?
00:14:30.592 --> 00:14:31.961
Why?
00:14:31.961 --> 00:14:33.295
Because what's in that letter is dictated by the person that's
00:14:33.295 --> 00:14:35.731
Gonna read that letter.
00:14:35.731 --> 00:14:37.599
When it comes to fearing the lord as a preface for becoming a
00:14:37.599 --> 00:14:43.439
Type of this figurative proverbs 31 woman, it is important that
00:14:43.439 --> 00:14:47.076
We start with the fear of the lord.
00:14:47.076 --> 00:14:48.544
I mean, proverbs also talks about fear of the lord is the
00:14:48.544 --> 00:14:52.047
Beginning of wisdom.
00:14:52.047 --> 00:14:53.382
And remember, fear of the lord isn't to be afraid, it's this
00:14:53.382 --> 00:14:55.317
Reverence, it's this respect.
00:14:55.317 --> 00:14:56.819
It's the i'm gonna start being completely in awe of who god is
00:14:56.819 --> 00:15:02.124
And out of that.
00:15:02.124 --> 00:15:04.526
It's almost the inspiration that comes first.
00:15:04.526 --> 00:15:08.764
If i'm writing a letter, i'm not writing it generically to
00:15:08.764 --> 00:15:12.801
Everyone in the world.
00:15:12.801 --> 00:15:14.803
Who i'm writing to dictates what i write.
00:15:14.803 --> 00:15:19.074
When i start with the fear of the lord, he is who it's for.
00:15:19.074 --> 00:15:24.346
It's not so somebody else can admire me.
00:15:24.346 --> 00:15:26.815
It's not so i can keep up with the joneses or the kardashians
00:15:26.815 --> 00:15:30.319
Or the next tiktok trend on social media.
00:15:30.319 --> 00:15:33.188
It's not so i can be seen by my kids as the best mum or the best
00:15:33.188 --> 00:15:38.260
Wife or the best preacher.
00:15:38.260 --> 00:15:40.496
It's not for any of them.
00:15:40.496 --> 00:15:42.798
It's not to prove that person wrong that said that thing about
00:15:42.798 --> 00:15:45.601
You years ago.
00:15:45.601 --> 00:15:46.935
When we start with the fear of the lord, we remind our soul,
00:15:46.935 --> 00:15:52.474
This endeavor to be this woman isn't for anyone else but for an
00:15:52.474 --> 00:15:58.981
Audience of the one that i admire most, god.
00:15:58.981 --> 00:16:05.654
Toni: we want to hear from you.
00:16:05.654 --> 00:16:07.589
Blynda: connect with us on social media to ask a question
00:16:07.589 --> 00:16:10.192
Or share a prayer request.
00:16:10.192 --> 00:16:11.527
Sheila: let's build up one another and get better together.
00:16:11.527 --> 00:16:15.898
Female announcer: let's keep the conversation going.
00:16:15.898 --> 00:16:18.133
You can find the "better together" podcast on your
00:16:18.133 --> 00:16:20.502
Favorite listening platform.
00:16:20.502 --> 00:16:22.237
Subscribe today.
00:16:22.237 --> 00:16:26.010
Subscribe today.
00:16:26.010 --> 00:16:26.387
Sheila: one of the things i thought was interesting was, and
00:16:29.123 --> 00:16:31.158
This is with my son, but when he went to a christian school, and
00:16:31.158 --> 00:16:34.862
When he graduated from high school, and i knew all his
00:16:34.862 --> 00:16:36.730
Buddies, they would kind of come around.
00:16:36.730 --> 00:16:38.199
We decided to make our house the fun house.
00:16:38.199 --> 00:16:41.001
Elyse: that's my goal.
00:16:41.001 --> 00:16:42.336
That's my goal.
00:16:42.336 --> 00:16:43.704
Sheila: said we can get new carpet when they're all gone,
00:16:43.704 --> 00:16:45.172
But you know, we'll never get these years back.
00:16:45.172 --> 00:16:46.507
But when he went off to college, he went to texas a&m, and he
00:16:46.507 --> 00:16:50.311
Came home the first break and said, "you know what's
00:16:50.311 --> 00:16:52.947
Interesting, mom?
00:16:52.947 --> 00:16:54.315
Some of my friends who we went to church with or went to youth
00:16:54.315 --> 00:16:56.383
Group with, they've no desire to do that anymore."
00:16:56.383 --> 00:16:59.120
And he said, "i think it's because when they lived under
00:16:59.120 --> 00:17:01.922
Their parents' roof, this is what we do when we're under our
00:17:01.922 --> 00:17:04.692
Parents' roof, as opposed to this is what i have chosen."
00:17:04.692 --> 00:17:08.062
You're inviting your daughter into a relationship with jesus
00:17:08.062 --> 00:17:11.832
Where it's like, you know, who do you want to be rather than
00:17:11.832 --> 00:17:14.268
This is who you have to be.
00:17:14.268 --> 00:17:15.803
And i think when kids under our roof learn to own their own
00:17:15.803 --> 00:17:19.473
Faith and their own journey, then when they move out from
00:17:19.473 --> 00:17:23.777
Underneath that roof, that that's something that's
00:17:23.777 --> 00:17:25.813
Still strong.
00:17:25.813 --> 00:17:27.815
Chrystal: it's really, we've said this word multiple times,
00:17:27.815 --> 00:17:30.951
Invitation or invited, and, you know, just first of all, reminds
00:17:30.951 --> 00:17:34.955
Me of just the god that we serve.
00:17:34.955 --> 00:17:37.024
He's a gentleman, you know, he's knocking at the door.
00:17:37.024 --> 00:17:39.426
He's not breaking it down.
00:17:39.426 --> 00:17:40.794
Even adam and eve in the garden, it's like i've given all this to
00:17:40.794 --> 00:17:43.964
You, but you choose.
00:17:43.964 --> 00:17:45.566
So proverbs 31 is an invitation.
00:17:45.566 --> 00:17:48.002
It's a choice we get to make, but it's given to us from a god
00:17:48.002 --> 00:17:51.372
Who's like let me just give you a picture of what's possible.
00:17:51.372 --> 00:17:54.942
Apparently, my brain is on food today, but i think it's a
00:17:54.942 --> 00:17:58.979
Yoplait commercial where the girl hangs the swimsuit, and she
00:17:58.979 --> 00:18:02.183
Just keeps walking by it, like eating the the yogurt.
00:18:02.183 --> 00:18:04.451
Y'all remember this commercial?
00:18:04.451 --> 00:18:05.819
She would walk by it, and she--it was a swimsuit, and it
00:18:05.819 --> 00:18:08.556
Was like i'm working towards, yeah.
00:18:08.556 --> 00:18:10.391
I'm working towards losing weight so that i can get in the
00:18:10.391 --> 00:18:12.693
Swimsuit, but she just keeps walking by it like, you know,
00:18:12.693 --> 00:18:15.663
And she'll pause and she takes a bite of her yogurt and like you
00:18:15.663 --> 00:18:18.132
Can tell that the days change because the sunlight changes
00:18:18.132 --> 00:18:20.601
Outside the window, and she walks by, and it happens like
00:18:20.601 --> 00:18:22.736
Three or four times, and then eventually she takes it down.
00:18:22.736 --> 00:18:25.873
But in this commercial, it's this concept of i'm just keeping
00:18:25.873 --> 00:18:30.344
Something in front of me.
00:18:30.344 --> 00:18:31.745
I'm just keeping in front of me what's possible sheila:
00:18:31.745 --> 00:18:34.348
I like that.
00:18:34.348 --> 00:18:35.683
Chrystal: you know, i'm kind of working on who i am today, i'm
00:18:35.683 --> 00:18:37.952
Not sitting in front of it crying, i'm not sitting in front
00:18:37.952 --> 00:18:39.954
Of it lamenting, i'm just reminding myself of what i'm
00:18:39.954 --> 00:18:42.957
Working on and what's possible, and i think that's what proverbs
00:18:42.957 --> 00:18:45.993
31 does.
00:18:45.993 --> 00:18:47.328
It gives us a view of what's possible and gives us an
00:18:47.328 --> 00:18:50.364
Invitation so that while we're living our life and walking back
00:18:50.364 --> 00:18:53.834
And forth, we can keep our eyes on the possibilities.
00:18:53.834 --> 00:18:56.537
And the other key thing about the proverbs 31 for me that has
00:18:56.537 --> 00:18:59.306
Helped me a lot with the invitation is it's an invitation
00:18:59.306 --> 00:19:02.843
That does not have to be accepted all at the same time.
00:19:02.843 --> 00:19:06.347
And you mentioned that when you were talking about her getting
00:19:06.347 --> 00:19:08.515
Up at night or staying awake at night, and i love the picture of
00:19:08.515 --> 00:19:12.319
It's not just about the time of day, it's about a season.
00:19:12.319 --> 00:19:15.422
Because if you think about that, there have been times whether
00:19:15.422 --> 00:19:17.625
We're single or married where, yeah, you're up late at night.
00:19:17.625 --> 00:19:20.694
You're up late at night working on a final project in
00:19:20.694 --> 00:19:22.596
High school.
00:19:22.596 --> 00:19:23.931
You're up late at night studying for finals in college.
00:19:23.931 --> 00:19:25.299
You're up late at night with a presentation that you have to do
00:19:25.299 --> 00:19:27.334
At work.
00:19:27.334 --> 00:19:28.702
You're up late at night maybe in pain or in grief, but you're not
00:19:28.702 --> 00:19:30.571
Doing that every day.
00:19:30.571 --> 00:19:31.939
You know, it's a part of an invitation when the season
00:19:31.939 --> 00:19:35.309
Demands it.
00:19:35.309 --> 00:19:36.644
And we can look at our own lives and say what does--and we can
00:19:36.644 --> 00:19:39.780
Ask the lord, what does this season demand of me?
00:19:39.780 --> 00:19:43.617
What do you require of me in this season?
00:19:43.617 --> 00:19:46.287
And then look at the invitation and say, okay,
00:19:46.287 --> 00:19:49.590
Then what do i do?
00:19:49.590 --> 00:19:50.924
But it's not all of that, it's not all of that.
00:19:50.924 --> 00:19:52.593
Blynda: that's gonna bring so much freedom to someone
00:19:52.593 --> 00:19:53.927
Listening, because i think there's there's like a young
00:19:53.927 --> 00:19:56.030
Mom, you know, who's, yeah, there's a young mom watching who
00:19:56.030 --> 00:19:59.967
Is feeling like i can't even get in the shower every day.
00:19:59.967 --> 00:20:04.171
How in the world am i going to--
00:20:04.171 --> 00:20:06.407
Sheila: make a bedspread.
00:20:06.407 --> 00:20:07.741
Blynda: yes, be making a bedspread or going out and
00:20:07.741 --> 00:20:09.109
Getting my food and, you know, i just think that brings a lot of
00:20:09.109 --> 00:20:11.712
Freedom, because it's back to that point that we've been
00:20:11.712 --> 00:20:14.448
Making that it's not a checklist, but god has put you
00:20:14.448 --> 00:20:17.685
In the season you're in.
00:20:17.685 --> 00:20:19.053
He's ordained that season, so he's not begrudging you in
00:20:19.053 --> 00:20:22.323
That season.
00:20:22.323 --> 00:20:23.691
As you're living in that season, he's not like, why aren't you
00:20:23.691 --> 00:20:25.793
Doing more in this season?
00:20:25.793 --> 00:20:27.328
It's like as long as you're doing exactly what i've asked
00:20:27.328 --> 00:20:29.730
You to do in the season you're in, then that's all that's
00:20:29.730 --> 00:20:33.267
Required of you.
00:20:33.267 --> 00:20:35.035
Sheila: so you might be in a place right now where you're
00:20:35.035 --> 00:20:37.404
Raising young children, and you're not going to be able to
00:20:37.404 --> 00:20:39.940
Go out and do all sorts of other things, but what you're doing is
00:20:39.940 --> 00:20:42.543
Holy ground.
00:20:42.543 --> 00:20:43.877
I mean, that is so incredible.
00:20:43.877 --> 00:20:46.547
I'm in a different season in life, you know, where i'm able
00:20:46.547 --> 00:20:49.049
To travel some and speak to women and, but i think all that
00:20:49.049 --> 00:20:52.786
Really matters is every single day, i mean, this is how i
00:20:52.786 --> 00:20:57.091
Start my days.
00:20:57.091 --> 00:20:58.425
I always start my day with, you know, lord, good morning.
00:20:58.425 --> 00:21:00.961
I don't have what i need for today.
00:21:00.961 --> 00:21:02.830
I know that, but i know you do.
00:21:02.830 --> 00:21:05.299
So for everything that you've called me to do today, thank you
00:21:05.299 --> 00:21:08.836
That you give me the strength and the grace.
00:21:08.836 --> 00:21:11.071
And don't compare yourself to other women, because we're all
00:21:11.071 --> 00:21:14.241
Different, we're in different seasons, and that's a
00:21:14.241 --> 00:21:16.577
Good thing.
00:21:16.577 --> 00:21:18.178
Chrystal: i wonder how much of our relationship with proverbs
00:21:18.178 --> 00:21:20.314
31 is due to the cultural norms.
00:21:20.314 --> 00:21:24.818
So when we look at proverbs 31, we don't see an invitation to do
00:21:24.818 --> 00:21:29.356
Something small.
00:21:29.356 --> 00:21:30.924
We see, well, if everything's laid out before me, then i'm
00:21:30.924 --> 00:21:34.061
Supposed to do all of it.
00:21:34.061 --> 00:21:35.396
Like we've been groomed to what could you achieve, how far could
00:21:35.396 --> 00:21:40.000
You go, and how fast can you do it?
00:21:40.000 --> 00:21:42.803
And so we bring that with us to the reading, and we can't
00:21:42.803 --> 00:21:46.473
Separate our cultural expectations from what
00:21:46.473 --> 00:21:49.076
The bible says.
00:21:49.076 --> 00:21:50.411
Elyse: as i'm sitting here thinking back to when i was a
00:21:50.411 --> 00:21:52.079
Little girl hearing this, i think part of the issues i've
00:21:52.079 --> 00:21:56.083
Had with the proverbs 31 perhaps aren't the issues that you had
00:21:56.083 --> 00:22:00.187
Or that you had, and that whole, the way you see the world often
00:22:00.187 --> 00:22:03.690
Says more about what you tell yourself than what anyone else
00:22:03.690 --> 00:22:06.160
Is telling you.
00:22:06.160 --> 00:22:07.528
And i think because my nature is a go-getter, activator, achieve
00:22:07.528 --> 00:22:12.032
It all at the same time, how fast can we get there?
00:22:12.032 --> 00:22:14.334
I'm like, let's go.
00:22:14.334 --> 00:22:15.836
Like, hello warrior spirit.
00:22:15.836 --> 00:22:17.204
I'm like, let's do it.
00:22:17.204 --> 00:22:18.539
But when i did read her, i was like, i wanna throw her out
00:22:18.539 --> 00:22:21.608
Because it doesn't even feel possible.
00:22:21.608 --> 00:22:23.477
I get so overwhelmed by her rather than being like, lord,
00:22:23.477 --> 00:22:27.481
What could i focus on today?
00:22:27.481 --> 00:22:29.349
Like, what are you asking me to do with this today?
00:22:29.349 --> 00:22:31.685
And i think rather than somebody else throwing proverbs 31 woman
00:22:31.685 --> 00:22:35.722
On me, i think i threw her on myself and the pressure and the
00:22:35.722 --> 00:22:40.360
Expectation and the if you're gonna be worthy of the love of
00:22:40.360 --> 00:22:44.198
God, you have to look like her, which has been that thing that
00:22:44.198 --> 00:22:47.434
I've always had to unravel, which is god doesn't need me to
00:22:47.434 --> 00:22:50.437
Perform to love me.
00:22:50.437 --> 00:22:51.872
But i think it can show us the issues that you have with this
00:22:51.872 --> 00:22:56.910
Woman may actually show you the way that you see god's love
00:22:56.910 --> 00:23:02.082
For you.
00:23:02.082 --> 00:23:03.450
Because to me, if my really internal thought has been for a
00:23:03.450 --> 00:23:06.019
Long time, if i don't perform for god, then am i even worthy,
00:23:06.019 --> 00:23:10.357
Or am i, like, i've got almost pay him back for the
00:23:10.357 --> 00:23:14.027
Sacrifice, right?
00:23:14.027 --> 00:23:15.395
Which obviously is not true.
00:23:15.395 --> 00:23:16.730
But when i come to this, it reveals in me those bits that
00:23:16.730 --> 00:23:19.700
Still need healing of god saying, "i don't need you."
00:23:19.700 --> 00:23:23.070
This is meant to be a celebration, not a burden.
00:23:23.070 --> 00:23:25.806
And so the second that we can maybe pinpoint the complication
00:23:25.806 --> 00:23:29.042
That we have with her, we kind of expose the enemy's plan to
00:23:29.042 --> 00:23:33.947
Lie to us by realizing the areas that god's trying to heal in us.
00:23:33.947 --> 00:23:38.919
Elyse: when i was in france when i was about 18 years old, my
00:23:38.919 --> 00:23:42.155
Parents took me and my brother and my sister to the louvre, and
00:23:42.155 --> 00:23:45.592
We saw the mona lisa, very, very famous painting.
00:23:45.592 --> 00:23:48.328
And one of the most famous things about the mona lisa is
00:23:48.328 --> 00:23:51.365
That wherever you're at in the room, her eyes follow you.
00:23:51.365 --> 00:23:54.635
And that was like all i cared about as an 18 year old.
00:23:54.635 --> 00:23:56.670
I was like this can't be real, this magic trick.
00:23:56.670 --> 00:23:59.940
And would you believe it?
00:23:59.940 --> 00:24:01.542
I walked into the room and noticed two things.
00:24:01.542 --> 00:24:03.243
One, the mona lisa is way smaller than you think it's
00:24:03.243 --> 00:24:05.979
Gonna be in person, but more importantly, that it was true.
00:24:05.979 --> 00:24:10.551
You better believe i walked to the left and to the right.
00:24:10.551 --> 00:24:14.187
And wherever i went, her eyes followed me.
00:24:14.187 --> 00:24:17.491
Why am i telling you that story?
00:24:17.491 --> 00:24:18.859
Well, because i think sometimes we think that the proverbs 31
00:24:18.859 --> 00:24:22.062
Woman is either one woman, and we're all competing to try to be
00:24:22.062 --> 00:24:24.898
Her, or it's just a type of woman that i could never be,
00:24:24.898 --> 00:24:27.668
So i'm not even gonna try.
00:24:27.668 --> 00:24:29.002
But the beautiful thing is there's room for all of us.
00:24:29.002 --> 00:24:32.272
This proverbs 31 woman, her eyes follow us, that we can connect
00:24:32.272 --> 00:24:36.810
With her wherever we're at on our journey, and whatever design
00:24:36.810 --> 00:24:42.316
That god created us, there's room for all of us in this
00:24:42.316 --> 00:24:45.786
Celebration of women.
00:24:45.786 --> 00:24:47.854
Toni: okay, so i'm glad you said this, because i've been just
00:24:47.854 --> 00:24:50.691
Staring at verse 30, and it just simply reads, "charm is
00:24:50.691 --> 00:24:55.696
Deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears
00:24:55.696 --> 00:24:59.032
The lord is to be praised."
00:24:59.032 --> 00:25:00.367
Now, the charm part i do think is about personality, it's about
00:25:00.367 --> 00:25:03.704
Character, it's how are you treating people?
00:25:03.704 --> 00:25:06.039
Are you using your charm to manipulate, et cetera?
00:25:06.039 --> 00:25:09.176
So that's character.
00:25:09.176 --> 00:25:10.544
Beauty is fleeting i think could both be assigned to like beauty,
00:25:10.544 --> 00:25:15.882
Like the exterior, but also the things that we create, right?
00:25:15.882 --> 00:25:18.919
The things that we put out into the world.
00:25:18.919 --> 00:25:20.487
I think women have been designed to create beauty in the world.
00:25:20.487 --> 00:25:23.557
Beautiful homes, food, meals, all the things for people, and
00:25:23.557 --> 00:25:27.160
I'm looking at this list, and i'm like, wow, there's so many
00:25:27.160 --> 00:25:29.563
Things that she has put beauty into.
00:25:29.563 --> 00:25:32.265
She sets about her work, she's doing tasks, she's even serving
00:25:32.265 --> 00:25:35.569
Those that are serving her.
00:25:35.569 --> 00:25:36.937
I mean, all of these things create some sort of beauty in
00:25:36.937 --> 00:25:39.339
The community that she's over.
00:25:39.339 --> 00:25:41.108
What i love about that is the scripture says, "charm is
00:25:41.108 --> 00:25:44.311
Deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears
00:25:44.311 --> 00:25:47.514
The lord is to be praised."
00:25:47.514 --> 00:25:49.049
What i love about that line that i think the writer is saying
00:25:49.049 --> 00:25:52.219
Here is that charm is great, like, cool, your personality,
00:25:52.219 --> 00:25:57.424
You don't wanna use it to manipulate because it's
00:25:57.424 --> 00:25:59.259
Deceptive, and the beauty that she creates is awesome.
00:25:59.259 --> 00:26:02.496
I love that you're able to do all those things, but what i'm
00:26:02.496 --> 00:26:05.666
Really looking for is a woman who fears the lord.
00:26:05.666 --> 00:26:09.403
That woman is worthy to be praised.
00:26:09.403 --> 00:26:10.971
And without that, all of this other stuff doesn't really
00:26:10.971 --> 00:26:14.908
Matter, right?
00:26:14.908 --> 00:26:16.943
And i'm like, oh, now that'll set some people free, but that's
00:26:16.943 --> 00:26:20.280
Because i am personally sitting here saying okay, lord, what do
00:26:20.280 --> 00:26:23.917
You want me to pull out of this?
00:26:23.917 --> 00:26:25.986
And this is a great list, but if i'm not meeting with my father
00:26:25.986 --> 00:26:29.189
Every day, if i don't have an intentional relationship with
00:26:29.189 --> 00:26:31.825
Him, if i am not inviting the holy spirit to righteously
00:26:31.825 --> 00:26:34.594
Convict me, all of this other stuff don't even matter, baby
00:26:34.594 --> 00:26:37.264
Girl, which means that maybe we start with posture and
00:26:37.264 --> 00:26:40.467
Positioning our surrender before we go through the checklist, and
00:26:40.467 --> 00:26:44.638
I think that's what gives us the freedom to say this is about
00:26:44.638 --> 00:26:47.607
God, not about what i can do.
00:26:47.607 --> 00:26:48.975
Elyse: because the danger of trying to do all the things on
00:26:48.975 --> 00:26:50.977
Here is that you've missed that final verse, is that i'm so busy
00:26:50.977 --> 00:26:54.548
Doing for god, i'm so busy trying to become the proverbs 31
00:26:54.548 --> 00:26:57.250
Woman, i'm so busy getting up while it's still dark, i'm so
00:26:57.250 --> 00:27:00.554
Busy that i am--and how many times have i missed my
00:27:00.554 --> 00:27:04.691
Appointment with my father?
00:27:04.691 --> 00:27:06.526
Toni: doing stuff.
00:27:06.526 --> 00:27:07.894
Elyse: because i had another appointment, hello toni: martha.
00:27:07.894 --> 00:27:10.931
Blynda: doing good things.
00:27:10.931 --> 00:27:12.299
Toni: doing really good things.
00:27:12.299 --> 00:27:14.067
One of the commentaries i read says the fact that she truly
00:27:14.067 --> 00:27:16.703
Fears the lord shows that she had a real relationship
00:27:16.703 --> 00:27:19.372
With him.
00:27:19.372 --> 00:27:20.707
First of all, fear, righteous fear equates to good
00:27:20.707 --> 00:27:24.244
Relationship when it comes in the context of god.
00:27:24.244 --> 00:27:27.214
She was not only a martha, busy with service, but she was also a
00:27:27.214 --> 00:27:30.584
Mary walking in fear and reverence toward the lord.
00:27:30.584 --> 00:27:34.321
Chrystal: which is freeing for the marthas, who, you know, kind
00:27:34.321 --> 00:27:38.291
Of get demonized when we talk about martha and mary.
00:27:38.291 --> 00:27:40.761
Like this woman is full of doing, she's just balanced
00:27:40.761 --> 00:27:43.663
With the being.
00:27:43.663 --> 00:27:44.998
It's not one or the other, you know?
00:27:44.998 --> 00:27:46.833
And i was thinking, you know, as you were talking, when you fear
00:27:46.833 --> 00:27:49.136
The lord, you will, without a checklist, fulfill the
00:27:49.136 --> 00:27:54.174
Principles that are espoused in proverbs 31.
00:27:54.174 --> 00:27:56.943
Sheila: it comes out of a relationship.
00:27:56.943 --> 00:27:58.278
Chrystal: it's not about checking the list that i did
00:27:58.278 --> 00:28:00.347
These things.
00:28:00.347 --> 00:28:01.681
It is about the fact that if i fear the lord, i will be a good
00:28:01.681 --> 00:28:04.184
Steward, which she was.
00:28:04.184 --> 00:28:05.652
If i fear the lord, then i'm gonna maximize my resources,
00:28:05.652 --> 00:28:09.189
Which is a principle of operation.
00:28:09.189 --> 00:28:10.857
It's not about real estate.
00:28:10.857 --> 00:28:12.192
It's about being so honoring of other people because they hold
00:28:12.192 --> 00:28:15.395
The image of god, that wherever they show up that they have been
00:28:15.395 --> 00:28:20.000
Painted in the picture that you are giving them because you're
00:28:20.000 --> 00:28:22.469
Constantly celebrating god's design in them.
00:28:22.469 --> 00:28:25.372
If i'm a person who fears the lord, i am doing these things
00:28:25.372 --> 00:28:28.508
Out of relationship, and that is an example of the application.
00:28:28.508 --> 00:28:32.512
So the application for me, yeah, the application for me may not
00:28:32.512 --> 00:28:36.716
Be that i'm buying a vineyard, but it may be that i am able to
00:28:36.716 --> 00:28:40.787
Use the resources that god has given me for things
00:28:40.787 --> 00:28:42.756
That produce.
00:28:42.756 --> 00:28:44.090
Toni: i run a cohort in my house.
00:28:44.090 --> 00:28:45.458
I'm taking kids to the park for other moms that don't have
00:28:45.458 --> 00:28:48.361
The capacity or the time.
00:28:48.361 --> 00:28:49.696
Like the list goes on and on and on, and the holy spirit will
00:28:49.696 --> 00:28:52.098
Give you the discernment to know what your real estate is in your
00:28:52.098 --> 00:28:56.203
Area if you're going to him first.
00:28:56.203 --> 00:28:58.605
If this is more about your relationship with god than how
00:28:58.605 --> 00:29:01.474
You can look to the outside world because you're
00:29:01.474 --> 00:29:04.077
A proverbs 31 woman.
00:29:04.077 --> 00:29:05.712
Toni: building our relationship with christ is the only way that
00:29:05.712 --> 00:29:08.582
We can actually understand our identity in christ, because we
00:29:08.582 --> 00:29:12.686
Can get distracted by all of the descriptive words that we hear
00:29:12.686 --> 00:29:15.856
From the world, on social media, on the news magazines, et
00:29:15.856 --> 00:29:18.592
Cetera, but if we actually want to know who we are, we have to
00:29:18.592 --> 00:29:22.629
Know whose we are, and we are christ's, and he is the one that
00:29:22.629 --> 00:29:26.766
Gets to name us, he gets to describe us and gets to bring us
00:29:26.766 --> 00:29:30.503
To a life of beauty that this world just can't give us.
00:29:30.503 --> 00:29:34.875
Toni: i would love to talk about flaws for a quick second,
00:29:34.875 --> 00:29:37.077
Because you've got women that are like, oh, man, i can't be a
00:29:37.077 --> 00:29:39.813
Virtuous woman if i used to be in the club a little bit.
00:29:39.813 --> 00:29:43.283
Like, what what do we do now?
00:29:43.283 --> 00:29:44.651
Like what do we do with the flaws as it pertains to being
00:29:44.651 --> 00:29:48.021
A proverbs 31 woman?
00:29:48.021 --> 00:29:49.356
Does it make us less of one?
00:29:49.356 --> 00:29:50.724
Blynda: and, okay, this is what's fascinating about
00:29:50.724 --> 00:29:53.393
Proverbs 31.
00:29:53.393 --> 00:29:54.728
Okay, the way it was written is it's actually written in an
00:29:54.728 --> 00:29:57.430
Acrostic poem.
00:29:57.430 --> 00:29:59.032
Okay, we know, but somebody may not know that.
00:29:59.032 --> 00:30:01.234
An acrostic poem in hebrew means that from a to z, start with
00:30:01.234 --> 00:30:05.071
Aleth is, i think the the a, and so every line of proverbs 31 is
00:30:05.071 --> 00:30:11.444
An acrostic poem designed for memorization.
00:30:11.444 --> 00:30:14.814
That was the reason, part of the reason they wrote it is so that
00:30:14.814 --> 00:30:17.918
You could grab on to these principles and memorize them and
00:30:17.918 --> 00:30:21.254
Put them in your heart, so they weren't meant to be--because to
00:30:21.254 --> 00:30:24.524
Make the poem, it actually takes it, if you will let me, into a
00:30:24.524 --> 00:30:28.361
Figurative language instead of a literal language.
00:30:28.361 --> 00:30:31.998
So if you're thinking of it in terms of figurative, then all of
00:30:31.998 --> 00:30:35.435
A sudden you're now able to say, okay, i was in the club, and
00:30:35.435 --> 00:30:39.572
I've done x-y-z that i'm not proud of, but if you're
00:30:39.572 --> 00:30:43.410
Understanding the principles they're trying to give you from
00:30:43.410 --> 00:30:45.078
This acrostic poem, it's okay, do you understand that you're
00:30:45.078 --> 00:30:49.549
Chosen and you're redeemed and you're loved by a god who gives
00:30:49.549 --> 00:30:53.787
Second chances?
00:30:53.787 --> 00:30:55.155
And that is the whole language.
00:30:55.155 --> 00:30:56.957
So we put her in a literal sense, and i know there are some
00:30:56.957 --> 00:30:59.659
Commentaries that say maybe it was a literal person.
00:30:59.659 --> 00:31:02.595
When i read it, i think of it more as a figurative language
00:31:02.595 --> 00:31:06.299
That says to me wherever i am in my life, when i come to the
00:31:06.299 --> 00:31:09.903
Table with all the mistakes, all the flaws, all of those things.
00:31:09.903 --> 00:31:13.306
There's a place for me here.
00:31:13.306 --> 00:31:15.175
There's a place, because it was just intended to be some almost
00:31:15.175 --> 00:31:18.645
Like how we do scripture memory for our kids.
00:31:18.645 --> 00:31:21.081
Like we're gonna instill the word in them.
00:31:21.081 --> 00:31:22.916
My kids, the scriptures they know best it's because we put
00:31:22.916 --> 00:31:25.085
Them to song.
00:31:25.085 --> 00:31:26.419
Okay, so here they put them into a poem, an acrostic poem where
00:31:26.419 --> 00:31:28.922
It goes a to z and memorize these things that's helpful to
00:31:28.922 --> 00:31:33.193
Them, to the people to understand the principles, but
00:31:33.193 --> 00:31:37.030
It doesn't exclude anybody.
00:31:37.030 --> 00:31:40.100
Toni: i absolutely believe that a virtuous woman can have flaws,
00:31:40.100 --> 00:31:43.470
And i actually think that it's just the truth, right?
00:31:43.470 --> 00:31:46.673
We are imperfect, we are wired for struggle, we live in a
00:31:46.673 --> 00:31:49.075
Sinful world, and the truth is we all have flaws.
00:31:49.075 --> 00:31:52.946
So when we paint this picture that virtue somehow comes with
00:31:52.946 --> 00:31:56.249
Perfection, we're really just lying to ourselves and setting
00:31:56.249 --> 00:31:58.952
Ourselves up for goals that we just can't reach.
00:31:58.952 --> 00:32:01.855
When a virtuous woman is honest about her flaws, she leaves room
00:32:01.855 --> 00:32:06.192
For us to see the glory of god in his perfection.
00:32:06.192 --> 00:32:09.629
God becomes bigger, and she becomes more virtuous.
00:32:09.629 --> 00:32:13.400
Toni: but i love that so much, and i do love that it's poetic,
00:32:13.400 --> 00:32:15.735
And we see it all throughout it.
00:32:15.735 --> 00:32:17.070
Like verse 14, she's like the merchant ships.
00:32:17.070 --> 00:32:19.639
I'm like i don't wanna be called no ship, you know?
00:32:19.639 --> 00:32:23.043
But you know what i'm saying?
00:32:23.043 --> 00:32:24.411
Like, i love that, and i do think that does free some
00:32:24.411 --> 00:32:27.213
People, because it's like do i have to be hustling and bustling
00:32:27.213 --> 00:32:29.416
In the winery fields?
00:32:29.416 --> 00:32:30.784
What they call them, the vineyards.
00:32:30.784 --> 00:32:32.152
Do i, you know, do i need to be like a ship?
00:32:32.152 --> 00:32:34.254
Do i need to be a ship?
00:32:34.254 --> 00:32:35.722
No.
00:32:35.722 --> 00:32:37.090
Elyse: you don't want to be a ship, toni.
00:32:37.090 --> 00:32:38.425
Toni: right, but it's like she's--but she's like a ship in
00:32:38.425 --> 00:32:40.093
That she's bringing food from afar, is that she will actually
00:32:40.093 --> 00:32:42.462
Travel to take care of the people that she loves, that she
00:32:42.462 --> 00:32:45.131
Will actually get up when it's really hard to get up and keep
00:32:45.131 --> 00:32:49.402
It pushing for the people that she loves.
00:32:49.402 --> 00:32:51.204
Chrystal: see, even that, depending on how you look at it,
00:32:51.204 --> 00:32:53.740
It's rarely regular, because the price of eggs has been crazy,
00:32:53.740 --> 00:32:58.545
But listen, most women even now could identify with trying to
00:32:58.545 --> 00:33:02.916
Figure out how to keep their grocery bill under control.
00:33:02.916 --> 00:33:04.984
Like, it doesn't have to mean that, okay, i've gone, and i've
00:33:04.984 --> 00:33:07.587
Grown it in the, you know, in the pasture.
00:33:07.587 --> 00:33:09.789
It could just mean i'm trying to make sure that i'm feeding
00:33:09.789 --> 00:33:13.293
Myself, my kids, my family for the budget that we have, and
00:33:13.293 --> 00:33:16.796
Every woman can identify with that.
00:33:16.796 --> 00:33:18.765
So, instead of looking for this ideal for something that we
00:33:18.765 --> 00:33:22.836
Can't reach, it's a principle for us, and in different seasons
00:33:22.836 --> 00:33:27.407
We're already reaching it if we're trying to operate in the
00:33:27.407 --> 00:33:30.643
Fear of the lord.
00:33:30.643 --> 00:33:32.011
Elyse: and that right there, plus take an actual woman in
00:33:32.011 --> 00:33:35.615
The bible.
00:33:35.615 --> 00:33:36.950
So this is a figurative woman.
00:33:36.950 --> 00:33:38.318
There was a woman in the bible named ruth in the old testament.
00:33:38.318 --> 00:33:41.621
She is called a woman of valor by boaz.
00:33:41.621 --> 00:33:44.591
And so this is what we're talking about.
00:33:44.591 --> 00:33:45.925
Proverbs 31, this woman of valor is the word we're talking
00:33:45.925 --> 00:33:48.795
About, right?
00:33:48.795 --> 00:33:50.130
But what i think will free people, club or no club, is the
00:33:50.130 --> 00:33:53.933
Fact that ruth wasn't married to boaz when she was called this.
00:33:53.933 --> 00:33:57.470
She wasn't--she hadn't had all this.
00:33:57.470 --> 00:33:59.472
She was in the middle of the field, sweaty and working and
00:33:59.472 --> 00:34:03.843
Gleaning from not even her field, and boaz looked at her in
00:34:03.843 --> 00:34:08.081
What everyone else would say, god has left you, you have no
00:34:08.081 --> 00:34:11.217
Success in this world, all of these other things, when she was
00:34:11.217 --> 00:34:14.854
Still there, when she was still widowed, when she was still
00:34:14.854 --> 00:34:18.424
Doing things for her mother-in-law and staying and
00:34:18.424 --> 00:34:21.361
Being loyal and trusting god, but it did not look like
00:34:21.361 --> 00:34:25.198
Anything in this chapter, that was the woman in that season
00:34:25.198 --> 00:34:29.936
That boaz said you are a woman of valor, and i think it's
00:34:29.936 --> 00:34:32.939
Because, again, it's not because she had these things to show, it
00:34:32.939 --> 00:34:36.342
Was because she was a woman that stood up, that refused to stand
00:34:36.342 --> 00:34:41.047
Down, that said i'm gonna leave what is comfortable and
00:34:41.047 --> 00:34:44.050
Familiar, i'm gonna walk away from that.
00:34:44.050 --> 00:34:46.986
So even some women today, that decision to walk away from
00:34:46.986 --> 00:34:50.423
Something that you feel in your gut, god has been challenging in
00:34:50.423 --> 00:34:54.561
You, you've been feeling this wrestling of leaving something
00:34:54.561 --> 00:34:57.564
Familiar behind that either is harmful to you in your life,
00:34:57.564 --> 00:35:01.634
That you can feel convicted, that god is like, hey, let's put
00:35:01.634 --> 00:35:03.970
This down now, or just something as simple as distractions or
00:35:03.970 --> 00:35:07.106
Whatever it is, in that decision to leave familiar, you are
00:35:07.106 --> 00:35:12.212
Called a woman of valor.
00:35:12.212 --> 00:35:14.948
Announcer: be the first to know all the latest
00:35:14.948 --> 00:35:16.883
"better together" updates.
00:35:16.883 --> 00:35:18.818
Visit bettertogether.tv to sign up for our weekly emails and
00:35:18.818 --> 00:35:22.922
Never miss the latest news.
00:35:22.922 --> 00:35:26.011
Never miss the latest news.
00:35:26.011 --> 00:35:26.559
Chrystal: i think it's so important that we remember that
00:35:29.195 --> 00:35:31.264
Our identity precedes our productivity.
00:35:31.264 --> 00:35:34.167
And so when you look at proverbs 31, if instead of looking for
00:35:34.167 --> 00:35:37.503
What she did, you look for what kind of woman was she at her
00:35:37.503 --> 00:35:41.608
Core to be able to produce that, then what god wants from us in
00:35:41.608 --> 00:35:46.512
Terms of production changes based on our season of life.
00:35:46.512 --> 00:35:50.083
But what doesn't change is who he wants to grow us to be, and
00:35:50.083 --> 00:35:53.119
That always is in the image of his son.
00:35:53.119 --> 00:35:55.321
It's always about sanctification.
00:35:55.321 --> 00:35:57.156
And so i think where we get caught up is what did
00:35:57.156 --> 00:35:59.959
We produce?
00:35:59.959 --> 00:36:02.161
Because before ruth was married to boaz, and before she lay at
00:36:02.161 --> 00:36:05.498
His feet, she was becoming something, and you can cultivate
00:36:05.498 --> 00:36:09.302
That, whether you're single, married, divorced, retired, a
00:36:09.302 --> 00:36:13.072
Teenager, can always ask, lord, who do i need to be before i can
00:36:13.072 --> 00:36:18.311
Hear clearly about what that means i'm supposed to do?
00:36:18.311 --> 00:36:22.081
Blynda: i think in our society, we can all struggle, maybe
00:36:22.081 --> 00:36:25.118
Especially women, with the idea that we get our value or our
00:36:25.118 --> 00:36:29.822
Worth from what we do.
00:36:29.822 --> 00:36:31.791
And i've always loved that the kind of cliche thing i've heard
00:36:31.791 --> 00:36:35.895
Before is that we're human beings, not human doings, which
00:36:35.895 --> 00:36:39.232
Means from the very existence, god expected us to just be.
00:36:39.232 --> 00:36:43.136
And i think in our world, it's very countercultural to think
00:36:43.136 --> 00:36:46.673
That we can just be, but in the spirit world, in the spirit
00:36:46.673 --> 00:36:50.043
Realm, when we sit as daughters and sons of the king, we already
00:36:50.043 --> 00:36:56.482
Sit from a position of being chosen, of being loved,
00:36:56.482 --> 00:37:00.753
Of being accepted.
00:37:00.753 --> 00:37:02.088
That's the identity that we wear.
00:37:02.088 --> 00:37:03.890
He chose us, he pursued our hearts, he calls us sons and
00:37:03.890 --> 00:37:08.795
Daughters, so when we sit from a position of we are worthy
00:37:08.795 --> 00:37:13.433
Because he called us worthy, we're enough because he calls us
00:37:13.433 --> 00:37:17.070
Enough, not in our own flesh, we aren't enough, we aren't worthy,
00:37:17.070 --> 00:37:19.706
But he, what he did for us to redeem us makes us worthy, then
00:37:19.706 --> 00:37:24.277
We can sit in a position that everything that we do in life,
00:37:24.277 --> 00:37:27.814
The job we have, the calling we have, the gifting we have, all
00:37:27.814 --> 00:37:31.084
Of those things are an overflow of the identity that we wear as
00:37:31.084 --> 00:37:35.755
Sons and daughters of the king.
00:37:35.755 --> 00:37:37.757
So i just want to encourage you, if you're wondering how to walk
00:37:37.757 --> 00:37:41.961
Out these proverbs 31 verses and how do we make it where it
00:37:41.961 --> 00:37:46.733
Doesn't feel overwhelming, come from a place of knowing that he
00:37:46.733 --> 00:37:50.403
Is worthy, and because of his worthiness, he seated you in a
00:37:50.403 --> 00:37:55.675
Place where you are a son or daughter of the king.
00:37:55.675 --> 00:37:59.679
Sheila: so interesting, chrystal, you kicked off today
00:37:59.679 --> 00:38:02.115
Asking like the proverbs 31 woman, who has she been in your
00:38:02.115 --> 00:38:06.252
Life, you know, what has that conjured up, and it brought back
00:38:06.252 --> 00:38:08.588
This memory for me that when i was in seminary when i was maybe
00:38:08.588 --> 00:38:11.524
19, i was probably the youngest girl.
00:38:11.524 --> 00:38:14.193
It was like two-thirds guys, and a third were girls.
00:38:14.193 --> 00:38:17.563
Most of us headed for the mission field.
00:38:17.563 --> 00:38:19.799
And i remember one day walking across campus and seeing a group
00:38:19.799 --> 00:38:23.102
Of the other women that were praying together,
00:38:23.102 --> 00:38:26.305
That were in a circle praying.
00:38:26.305 --> 00:38:27.640
And i thought, oh, yay.
00:38:27.640 --> 00:38:28.975
So i went to go over and join them.
00:38:28.975 --> 00:38:30.309
And then i realized they were praying about me.
00:38:30.309 --> 00:38:34.180
Because i was, i mean, i was young, i was maybe more into
00:38:34.180 --> 00:38:38.151
Fashion than they were.
00:38:38.151 --> 00:38:39.485
Some of them were quite a bit older than me, and i had this
00:38:39.485 --> 00:38:41.754
Pair of red leather boots which a friend had given me, and i
00:38:41.754 --> 00:38:44.090
Thought they were lovely.
00:38:44.090 --> 00:38:45.458
But i heard somebody say, "father, she's clearly not
00:38:45.458 --> 00:38:48.761
A proverbs 31 woman."
00:38:48.761 --> 00:38:50.129
I mean, i turned and i left and i went back to my dorm, and i
00:38:50.129 --> 00:38:52.765
Just wept because i thought, i'm never gonna be what i need to
00:38:52.765 --> 00:38:55.468
Be, because i felt so judged by other women.
00:38:55.468 --> 00:38:58.070
I think one of the things i love about this, and i'm encouraged
00:38:58.070 --> 00:39:00.306
About this week, is it will show us where we're all at in this
00:39:00.306 --> 00:39:03.776
Different journey with the lord of becoming more like jesus.
00:39:03.776 --> 00:39:07.046
'cause i remember i actually went to the head of seminary,
00:39:07.046 --> 00:39:09.549
And i sat down, and i was in tears, and i was like, "i think
00:39:09.549 --> 00:39:11.884
I need to leave."
00:39:11.884 --> 00:39:13.219
And he said, "why?"
00:39:13.219 --> 00:39:14.554
And i said, 'cause, you know, i told him what i'd heard
00:39:14.554 --> 00:39:16.222
And that.
00:39:16.222 --> 00:39:17.557
And he said, "sheila, don't you think god is more interested in
00:39:17.557 --> 00:39:19.158
Who you're becoming than what you're doing?"
00:39:19.158 --> 00:39:21.494
He spoke these words of kindness over me.
00:39:21.494 --> 00:39:24.330
And i just don't want any woman this week to think, gosh, i'm
00:39:24.330 --> 00:39:27.166
Not this, and i'm not that, and i'm not that.
00:39:27.166 --> 00:39:29.101
I love the perspective you've given, chrystal, of it being for
00:39:29.101 --> 00:39:32.271
Different things in different seasons, but when you make the
00:39:32.271 --> 00:39:35.308
Becoming more like jesus the priority rather than the list of
00:39:35.308 --> 00:39:38.144
Things, to me those are an outflowing.
00:39:38.144 --> 00:39:40.947
Chrystal: so when we feel the pressure from ourselves or from
00:39:40.947 --> 00:39:45.184
Other people, how then do we give ourselves or give other
00:39:45.184 --> 00:39:49.522
People grace?
00:39:49.522 --> 00:39:50.890
What does that look like?
00:39:50.890 --> 00:39:52.391
Toni: i don't care what nobody thinks about me, and it's not
00:39:52.391 --> 00:39:58.130
Because i am prideful, and i feel like i'm just the best
00:39:58.130 --> 00:40:02.502
Thing that ever happened to this earth, but because i am so
00:40:02.502 --> 00:40:06.639
Deeply rooted in my love, the love that the lord has given me,
00:40:06.639 --> 00:40:12.445
That i just--something has happened in my brain where i'm
00:40:12.445 --> 00:40:16.115
Just like i genuinely don't care.
00:40:16.115 --> 00:40:18.150
People are like, toni, you're so loud, you're so crazy, how are
00:40:18.150 --> 00:40:21.454
You just like walking in a room and being completely yourself?
00:40:21.454 --> 00:40:24.257
I can remember this season in 2020, i just got so close with
00:40:24.257 --> 00:40:28.394
The lord, and i just put all my eggs in that basket, whatever he
00:40:28.394 --> 00:40:33.199
Thinks of me, because if i am postured to please the lord from
00:40:33.199 --> 00:40:37.403
That place, the overflowing will be everything i need to be
00:40:37.403 --> 00:40:41.107
To everybody else.
00:40:41.107 --> 00:40:42.441
I'll be honoring, i'll be respectful, i'll be kind, i will
00:40:42.441 --> 00:40:44.377
Be everything i need to be to this earth, but if i am first
00:40:44.377 --> 00:40:47.647
Deeply rooted in my love for god and his just matchless love for
00:40:47.647 --> 00:40:52.218
Me, oh, i just don't care.
00:40:52.218 --> 00:40:54.220
I literally--i don't care.
00:40:54.220 --> 00:40:56.188
I'm being who i need to be, and i know it because the lord is
00:40:56.188 --> 00:40:59.525
Approving of my steps every day.
00:40:59.525 --> 00:41:01.627
Elyse: i do care what people think about me, but i think
00:41:01.627 --> 00:41:07.466
There is this other side of that of like for someone that for so
00:41:07.466 --> 00:41:11.237
Long in my life didn't even realize that the filter in which
00:41:11.237 --> 00:41:16.142
I saw god's love was through my productivity, was through look,
00:41:16.142 --> 00:41:20.046
Dad, look at all the things i'm doing.
00:41:20.046 --> 00:41:21.414
Dad, look at me do this cartwheel.
00:41:21.414 --> 00:41:22.949
Look at me do this.
00:41:22.949 --> 00:41:24.317
Dad, dad, are you looking?
00:41:24.317 --> 00:41:25.651
Are you looking?
00:41:25.651 --> 00:41:27.019
For me, this chapter has had to change and pivot, that this was
00:41:27.019 --> 00:41:31.624
Not all the ways to be worthy of his love.
00:41:31.624 --> 00:41:34.794
This is a list of some of the things he loves about me.
00:41:34.794 --> 00:41:39.765
Now, my favorite game is one thing i love about elyse is.
00:41:39.765 --> 00:41:44.971
Anyone that knows me knows that at this point.
00:41:44.971 --> 00:41:49.375
It's kind of like god's version of one thing i love about you is
00:41:49.375 --> 00:41:55.414
This, and rather than it being something we're meant to do
00:41:55.414 --> 00:41:58.718
Better, it gets to be what do you love about me today?
00:41:58.718 --> 00:42:03.289
'cause i love you, and then it just gets to be this back and
00:42:03.289 --> 00:42:05.658
Forth with our father who's like i see you and celebrate you.
00:42:05.658 --> 00:42:10.596
This is one of those ways, and when you see it, for me at
00:42:10.596 --> 00:42:15.534
Least, as that, there's a freedom in that to also become
00:42:15.534 --> 00:42:19.338
All the things even more than i'm not yet.
00:42:19.338 --> 00:42:23.643
Blynda: and when i look at the scriptures as a whole, you know,
00:42:23.643 --> 00:42:26.545
We know that they're a gift to us.
00:42:26.545 --> 00:42:28.581
I mean, god gave us the scriptures to show us how to
00:42:28.581 --> 00:42:33.052
Live, how to love, how to show grace.
00:42:33.052 --> 00:42:36.455
And so i feel like if you're ever reading the scripture, and
00:42:36.455 --> 00:42:39.325
It conjures up a feeling of insecurity or of not good enough
00:42:39.325 --> 00:42:45.164
Or whatever, then you have to pause, i think, and say what
00:42:45.164 --> 00:42:49.068
Part of my identity in you hasn't been fully secured?
00:42:49.068 --> 00:42:54.040
Because there's nothing in here when i read it that should make
00:42:54.040 --> 00:42:57.576
Me feel less than or insecure.
00:42:57.576 --> 00:43:00.046
So if i feel that way, it's kind of a signal for me to start
00:43:00.046 --> 00:43:05.518
Asking questions about what part of my identity am i struggling
00:43:05.518 --> 00:43:10.189
With and understanding exactly who i am in christ as a daughter
00:43:10.189 --> 00:43:14.126
Of the king.
00:43:14.126 --> 00:43:15.461
If it's making me feel that way, then there might just be some
00:43:15.461 --> 00:43:17.463
Tweaking i think that needs to happen to be assured that when
00:43:17.463 --> 00:43:21.400
He's giving us this kind of roadmap of things to do, it's
00:43:21.400 --> 00:43:25.071
Out of a love and a grace so that we can live on this earth
00:43:25.071 --> 00:43:29.675
And be conduits of his love and grace to others.
00:43:29.675 --> 00:43:32.244
It's never meant to make us feel shame.
00:43:32.244 --> 00:43:34.580
Toni: it's not oppressive, it's uplifting.
00:43:34.580 --> 00:43:38.017
Sheila: i don't know when you hear the title proverbs 31
00:43:38.017 --> 00:43:41.387
Woman, i don't know what kind of images that conjures up for you.
00:43:41.387 --> 00:43:44.990
When i was younger, it always made me think of somebody who
00:43:44.990 --> 00:43:48.294
Just could do everything, and i knew i wasn't that kind
00:43:48.294 --> 00:43:51.230
Of person.
00:43:51.230 --> 00:43:52.598
But i hear it so differently now.
00:43:52.598 --> 00:43:54.166
I see it as this great invitation to become more
00:43:54.166 --> 00:43:58.070
Like jesus.
00:43:58.070 --> 00:43:59.405
And some days that'll mean you'll get all your tasks done,
00:43:59.405 --> 00:44:02.041
And some days it will mean that you don't, and that's where the
00:44:02.041 --> 00:44:04.543
Grace of god comes in, that we bring god our best every day,
00:44:04.543 --> 00:44:08.414
And when we fall down, we receive his best, which is his
00:44:08.414 --> 00:44:11.784
Grace to forgive us.
00:44:11.784 --> 00:44:13.719
Toni: i also want to say that i think the proverbs 31 woman
00:44:13.719 --> 00:44:16.355
Is a girl's girl.
00:44:16.355 --> 00:44:17.923
I think she's a girl's girl, because.
00:44:17.923 --> 00:44:20.826
Chrystal: define girl's girl.
00:44:20.826 --> 00:44:22.461
Toni: so i'm young, so we say things like that.
00:44:22.461 --> 00:44:25.698
Just kidding, my daughter told me, but a girl's girl simply is
00:44:25.698 --> 00:44:29.702
A woman that is just after the success of other women, like you
00:44:29.702 --> 00:44:32.872
Are just down for the cause, and this is--i'll just end with
00:44:32.872 --> 00:44:34.774
This, because i know we need to pray.
00:44:34.774 --> 00:44:36.308
But verse 15 says she gets up while it is still night.
00:44:36.308 --> 00:44:38.677
She's okay with going into the chaos, and she does it not only
00:44:38.677 --> 00:44:41.914
To provide food for her family, but also portions for her
00:44:41.914 --> 00:44:44.950
Female servants.
00:44:44.950 --> 00:44:46.652
And when i think about that story that you told sheila
00:44:46.652 --> 00:44:48.854
About, you know, these other women talking down on you,
00:44:48.854 --> 00:44:51.991
Behind your back, all the things, i'm just like that's not
00:44:51.991 --> 00:44:54.393
Who she is.
00:44:54.393 --> 00:44:55.828
She is not--she is working not only for herself to make sure
00:44:55.828 --> 00:44:59.064
That she's strong enough to be able to pour out not only for
00:44:59.064 --> 00:45:01.801
Her family but for women that are around her that others would
00:45:01.801 --> 00:45:04.837
Deem servants, the least, et cetera, she's like, no, i'm not
00:45:04.837 --> 00:45:09.875
Just building something for myself, but the women
00:45:09.875 --> 00:45:12.645
That are around me.
00:45:12.645 --> 00:45:13.979
Sheila: that's so good.
00:45:13.979 --> 00:45:15.314
Chrystal: well, i know that there are so many women who have
00:45:15.314 --> 00:45:17.850
A complicated relationship, even if it's not with proverbs 31
00:45:17.850 --> 00:45:21.420
Literally, just this concept of what a christian woman is
00:45:21.420 --> 00:45:24.590
Supposed to be or what a woman who loves god is supposed to be,
00:45:24.590 --> 00:45:28.494
And they're out in the streets not giving themselves grace, not
00:45:28.494 --> 00:45:32.097
Giving their girls grace, and trying to measure up, and so i
00:45:32.097 --> 00:45:36.135
Just want to pray for us as we wrestle and walk this out, but
00:45:36.135 --> 00:45:41.073
Also for the women who are watching who are starting to
00:45:41.073 --> 00:45:43.242
Feel maybe a little bit of relief because of the
00:45:43.242 --> 00:45:45.845
Conversation that we're going to have this week.
00:45:45.845 --> 00:45:47.780
Lord, we are, first of all, so grateful that you in your grace
00:45:47.780 --> 00:45:52.718
And mercy provided a way for us to get to know you, to have
00:45:52.718 --> 00:45:55.988
Fellowship with you, to spend eternity in your presence, and
00:45:55.988 --> 00:45:59.792
You did that at whatever stage of development we were at when
00:45:59.792 --> 00:46:02.728
We found you.
00:46:02.728 --> 00:46:04.063
The invitation to salvation was ours to take, and then you
00:46:04.063 --> 00:46:07.900
Decide every day to sit and wait for us.
00:46:07.900 --> 00:46:10.436
James 4:8 says that if we draw nigh to you that you will draw
00:46:10.436 --> 00:46:13.939
Nigh to us, that you are just waiting with an invitation for
00:46:13.939 --> 00:46:16.842
Us to get closer to you, to be more like you, and to grow in
00:46:16.842 --> 00:46:20.012
Grace and wisdom based on our lord and jesus christ and how
00:46:20.012 --> 00:46:22.948
He lived.
00:46:22.948 --> 00:46:24.283
So, lord, may we bring that spirit of invitation to proverbs
00:46:24.283 --> 00:46:26.952
31, that you are not sitting there with a stick or something
00:46:26.952 --> 00:46:30.956
To pop our hand if we don't rise early or stay up late, that you
00:46:30.956 --> 00:46:34.393
Are not grading us on whether or not we sew or we do real estate,
00:46:34.393 --> 00:46:38.597
That you are not measuring us against a standard that was only
00:46:38.597 --> 00:46:42.735
Designed to give an example of what's possible and what flows
00:46:42.735 --> 00:46:46.171
Out of a woman whose heart is turned towards you.
00:46:46.171 --> 00:46:48.908
Lord, may we position ourselves to simply sit at your feet to
00:46:48.908 --> 00:46:54.013
Receive the grace that you are always offering, and then, god,
00:46:54.013 --> 00:46:57.316
As we receive your grace and we grow in relationship with you,
00:46:57.316 --> 00:47:01.020
Would we have overflow and outflow that looks like you that
00:47:01.020 --> 00:47:05.124
Makes us the woman that you want us to be?
00:47:05.124 --> 00:47:07.226
And may we also experience the joy that comes when we're
00:47:07.226 --> 00:47:11.230
Willing to grow in season and not feel rushed to be some ideal
00:47:11.230 --> 00:47:16.135
All at once.
00:47:16.135 --> 00:47:17.503
Lord, give us patience with ourselves to reflect the
00:47:17.503 --> 00:47:19.872
Patience that you already have with us, in jesus's name we
00:47:19.872 --> 00:47:22.741
Pray, amen.
00:47:22.741 --> 00:47:25.778
Announcer: connect with us on social media and let us know how
00:47:25.778 --> 00:47:28.180
Our team can pray for you.
00:47:28.180 --> 00:47:30.182
[music]
00:47:30.182 --> 00:47:37.389
Sheila: hi, i'm sheila, and i'm here with chrystal, and i
00:47:37.389 --> 00:47:39.391
Thought let's talk about this proverbs 31 woman.
00:47:39.391 --> 00:47:42.094
Chrystal: who we all love.
00:47:42.094 --> 00:47:44.697
Sheila: don't you think it's a shame, though, that we've
00:47:44.697 --> 00:47:46.365
Somehow put her in this place of this woman that threatens
00:47:46.365 --> 00:47:49.601
All of us?
00:47:49.601 --> 00:47:50.936
Because i don't think that was ever the intent.
00:47:50.936 --> 00:47:52.304
Chrystal: no, but i think, you know, as humans, that's what we
00:47:52.304 --> 00:47:54.373
Tend to do.
00:47:54.373 --> 00:47:55.708
We tend to put people on pedestals, we tend to make our
00:47:55.708 --> 00:47:57.876
Golden calves, we tend to want to say what do we aspire to?
00:47:57.876 --> 00:48:01.113
And since she was doing a lot, it seems like she was
00:48:01.113 --> 00:48:03.983
Accomplishing a lot, the only place to to put her is up, which
00:48:03.983 --> 00:48:08.153
Then makes us feel like we're not measuring up.
00:48:08.153 --> 00:48:11.523
Sheila: yeah, no, that's true.
00:48:11.523 --> 00:48:12.858
But the thing that i love about it, when you really kind of read
00:48:12.858 --> 00:48:15.394
Through the passage and think about everything that's being
00:48:15.394 --> 00:48:18.998
Said, i see it more as an invitation.
00:48:18.998 --> 00:48:22.468
Chrystal: agreed.
00:48:22.468 --> 00:48:23.802
Sheila: you know?
00:48:23.802 --> 00:48:25.170
No here's what you have to, you have to do this, this, this, and
00:48:25.170 --> 00:48:27.039
This to make god happy.
00:48:27.039 --> 00:48:28.374
I see it as this invitation and to just everything god might
00:48:28.374 --> 00:48:30.976
Have called us to.
00:48:30.976 --> 00:48:32.344
I mean, there's things i'm doing now, like speaking.
00:48:32.344 --> 00:48:34.580
I, gosh, when i was younger, i would never have
00:48:34.580 --> 00:48:37.816
Considered that.
00:48:37.816 --> 00:48:39.151
Standing up with a microphone in front of anyone would have
00:48:39.151 --> 00:48:40.753
Terrified me.
00:48:40.753 --> 00:48:42.087
But sometimes you just hear god's invitation to step into
00:48:42.087 --> 00:48:45.858
Something and realize it's something that he's put in you.
00:48:45.858 --> 00:48:48.193
Chrystal: that's right, that's right.
00:48:48.193 --> 00:48:49.561
And i think god is always inviting us to expand our
00:48:49.561 --> 00:48:53.599
Capacity, and certainly the proverbs 31 woman has an
00:48:53.599 --> 00:48:57.202
Expanded capacity.
00:48:57.202 --> 00:48:58.804
I think the problem is, is we get stressed out by that.
00:48:58.804 --> 00:49:01.840
I could never, i will never, i have never, instead of taking it
00:49:01.840 --> 00:49:05.844
Like he's inviting us to maybe learn more about ourselves and
00:49:05.844 --> 00:49:09.615
Learn more about what he sees when he looks at us.
00:49:09.615 --> 00:49:11.917
Sheila: yeah, because i think when i think back in my own
00:49:11.917 --> 00:49:14.386
Childhood, i saw things that i couldn't do.
00:49:14.386 --> 00:49:17.623
That was--i saw all the negatives, as opposed to
00:49:17.623 --> 00:49:20.559
Thinking with, you know, with god, anything is possible.
00:49:20.559 --> 00:49:24.263
I mean, but i think of some of our friends and viewers who
00:49:24.263 --> 00:49:27.466
Maybe watch and they think, you know, i'm not in a place in my
00:49:27.466 --> 00:49:29.802
Life where i'm able to do much.
00:49:29.802 --> 00:49:33.172
But it's kind of an interesting adventure too.
00:49:33.172 --> 00:49:36.141
I just at one point to get a book and write down all the
00:49:36.141 --> 00:49:39.545
Things that potentially i could do in life and ask god is there
00:49:39.545 --> 00:49:44.650
Anything here you want me to do?
00:49:44.650 --> 00:49:46.518
Sometimes it's just having an open heart.
00:49:46.518 --> 00:49:49.488
But, you know, the word that i love most, that's in the
00:49:49.488 --> 00:49:51.623
Proverbs 31?
00:49:51.623 --> 00:49:52.991
Comes toward the end, it's maybe four verses from the end.
00:49:52.991 --> 00:49:55.727
It talks about speaking with kindness.
00:49:55.727 --> 00:49:58.163
Chrystal: there's power that we have as women of god,
00:49:58.163 --> 00:50:01.600
As proverbs 31 women for accomplishing things and
00:50:01.600 --> 00:50:05.737
Building things up.
00:50:05.737 --> 00:50:07.072
I mean, that's what's so overwhelming about her life, all
00:50:07.072 --> 00:50:08.740
The things she was able to do but when you look at it like
00:50:08.740 --> 00:50:11.510
This is actually the gifting of influence god has given me, it's
00:50:11.510 --> 00:50:14.446
The gifting of capacity he's given me, then it's just a
00:50:14.446 --> 00:50:17.749
Matter of choosing to use what we can as we're given the
00:50:17.749 --> 00:50:20.652
Opportunity to do so.
00:50:20.652 --> 00:50:22.020
Sheila: so if you love jesus, you are a proverbs 31 woman.
00:50:22.020 --> 00:50:25.491
Chrystal: that's right, and whatever he needs you to do, or
00:50:25.491 --> 00:50:27.960
However he needs you to be stretched, as long as you're
00:50:27.960 --> 00:50:30.662
Willing to be obedient and surrender, he actually is simply
00:50:30.662 --> 00:50:34.399
Inviting you to do and be what he knows you can do
00:50:34.399 --> 00:50:39.104
And you can be.
00:50:39.104 --> 00:50:41.140
Announcer: stream full episodes of "better together" on demand.
00:50:41.140 --> 00:50:44.977
Go to bettertogether.tv
00:50:44.977 --> 00:50:46.578
To stream all of our latest conversations.
00:50:46.578 --> 00:50:50.415
[music]
00:50:50.415 --> 00:50:50.415

Who is the Proverbs 31 Woman? - Episode 1091

September 8, 2025 | S7 E1091 | 52:34

Closed captions

Share