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Creflo Dollar

Creflo Dollar - The Fear Dance of Marriage (Part 2)

January 22, 2026 | 27:29

Creflo Dollar - The Fear Dance of Marriage (Part 2)
Join the dynamic leadership and teaching of Dr. Creflo and Taffi Dollar.
#Fear #Dance #Marriage #Husband #Wife #Relationships #PersonalStory #Testimony #Strength #Weakness #Peopleinyourlife #Struggle #Accountability #CrefloDollar

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Creflo Dollar | Creflo Dollar - The Fear Dance of Marriage (Part 2) | January 22, 2026
  • ...
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  • Male announcer: this program is brought to you in part by the
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  • Partners and friends of creflo dollar ministries.
  • 00:00:03.583 --> 00:00:04.951
  • Coming up next on "changing your world."
  • 00:00:08.855 --> 00:00:11.724
  • Creflo dollar: there were several business deals that i
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  • Handled one way, and you said, "think about it this way," and i
  • 00:00:13.693 --> 00:00:17.730
  • Looked back, and i'm--i could just pull my hair out because
  • 00:00:17.730 --> 00:00:20.867
  • Had i listened to you, oh, it would have been so much better.
  • 00:00:20.867 --> 00:00:25.672
  • ♪ this is your world, ♪
  • 00:00:29.242 --> 00:00:31.978
  • ♪ so let's vow to make it a better place. ♪
  • 00:00:31.978 --> 00:00:37.183
  • ♪ let every heart that needs to know, ♪
  • 00:00:37.183 --> 00:00:42.322
  • ♪ your love is here to stay. ♪
  • 00:00:42.322 --> 00:00:44.824
  • ♪ oh-oh, it's time we live a new life. ♪
  • 00:00:44.824 --> 00:00:48.561
  • ♪ oh-oh, let his love shine bright in you. ♪
  • 00:00:48.561 --> 00:00:52.699
  • ♪ oh-oh, we're saved by his grace, ♪
  • 00:00:52.699 --> 00:00:56.136
  • ♪ so we embrace your love today. ♪
  • 00:00:56.136 --> 00:00:59.405
  • ♪ we are changed. ♪
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  • Taffi dollar: welcome to "changing your world."
  • 00:01:05.211 --> 00:01:06.546
  • We are so excited about today's show.
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  • We want to share some things that we believe will be very,
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  • Very practical and able to be applied in your relationship.
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  • Creflo and i are just in this thing and want you to be able to
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  • Be successful, and so we're gonna start today and talk about
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  • Some real tools that you can use right now--not next year or
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  • Next week, but right now--to implement to break the fear
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  • Dance in your marriage.
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  • So the first one that we want to talk about today is name
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  • Your pattern.
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  • In the previous show, you were talking about the areas of
  • 00:01:42.015 --> 00:01:45.852
  • Vulnerability, just locating yourself.
  • 00:01:45.852 --> 00:01:48.655
  • You talked about how adam and eve and how adam had to cover
  • 00:01:48.655 --> 00:01:52.492
  • Himself up and there was a level of being fake and not really
  • 00:01:52.492 --> 00:01:56.796
  • Knowing himself, and as a result, he had to put up this
  • 00:01:56.796 --> 00:02:00.667
  • Cover and as a way to help men to even identify with the covers
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  • That often prevent him from being seen by his wife and maybe
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  • Other people.
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  • Creflo: yeah, i mean, you name your pattern, or you identify
  • 00:02:14.347 --> 00:02:18.117
  • Your tendencies.
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  • That could be a scary thing, the fact that, "all right, i have a
  • 00:02:20.587 --> 00:02:24.457
  • Tendency to exaggerate," or "i have a tendency to get loud when
  • 00:02:24.457 --> 00:02:30.863
  • I feel like i'm being attacked," or "i have a tendency to provoke
  • 00:02:30.863 --> 00:02:37.303
  • Fear," or "i have a tendency to believe the lie i'm
  • 00:02:37.303 --> 00:02:41.174
  • Telling myself."
  • 00:02:41.174 --> 00:02:42.942
  • So when we're talking about naming or identifying your
  • 00:02:42.942 --> 00:02:46.212
  • Pattern, you can't go forward until you locate yourself, even
  • 00:02:46.212 --> 00:02:51.751
  • When--"what is that, siri?"
  • 00:02:51.751 --> 00:02:54.053
  • I'll ask siri on the phone, you know, "siri, where is a place
  • 00:02:54.053 --> 00:02:58.258
  • Where they sell donuts?"
  • 00:02:58.258 --> 00:02:59.626
  • I'm really thinking about donuts, right?
  • 00:02:59.626 --> 00:03:01.561
  • And she would say, "first of all, you've got to
  • 00:03:01.561 --> 00:03:04.897
  • Unhook your--"
  • 00:03:04.897 --> 00:03:06.866
  • Taffi: "unlock your phone."
  • 00:03:06.866 --> 00:03:08.401
  • Creflo: yeah, so you can-- so i can--
  • 00:03:08.401 --> 00:03:10.837
  • You know, your locator or something like that,
  • 00:03:10.837 --> 00:03:12.639
  • So i can tell you where to go.
  • 00:03:12.639 --> 00:03:14.107
  • And i'm like, "i'm not unlocking my telephone."
  • 00:03:14.107 --> 00:03:16.175
  • You know, "all you wanna do is let the government know where i
  • 00:03:16.175 --> 00:03:18.444
  • Am," or something like that, you know, and just have an argument
  • 00:03:18.444 --> 00:03:21.281
  • With her, but it is true.
  • 00:03:21.281 --> 00:03:23.683
  • How can you go forward unless you locate yourself, you know?
  • 00:03:23.683 --> 00:03:29.656
  • And if you don't know where you are, if you don't know what your
  • 00:03:29.656 --> 00:03:33.359
  • Pattern is and the things that you have a tendency of doing,
  • 00:03:33.359 --> 00:03:38.831
  • Sometimes you can do it so much you don't even see yourself
  • 00:03:38.831 --> 00:03:42.435
  • Doing it.
  • 00:03:42.435 --> 00:03:43.770
  • You don't even recognize that you're doing that, and that's
  • 00:03:43.770 --> 00:03:45.805
  • When it gets really dangerous because now you've gotten
  • 00:03:45.805 --> 00:03:50.009
  • Yourself into something the bible calls lasciviousness, with
  • 00:03:50.009 --> 00:03:54.113
  • No restraints.
  • 00:03:54.113 --> 00:03:55.848
  • One more time becomes one more time becomes one more time, and
  • 00:03:55.848 --> 00:03:58.685
  • That can just damage a relationship.
  • 00:03:58.685 --> 00:04:00.386
  • "i'm sorry," one more time become you do it again, and then
  • 00:04:00.386 --> 00:04:03.389
  • You do it again, and you can't find the brakes.
  • 00:04:03.389 --> 00:04:06.693
  • That's why it's so important for you as an individual to locate
  • 00:04:06.693 --> 00:04:10.563
  • Yourself and to locate your pattern and then to deal with
  • 00:04:10.563 --> 00:04:14.801
  • That pattern, and you're gonna need some help to deal with that
  • 00:04:14.801 --> 00:04:16.936
  • Pattern, because most likely that pattern has become
  • 00:04:16.936 --> 00:04:19.472
  • Something that you've come accustomed to and probably
  • 00:04:19.472 --> 00:04:23.743
  • Discipline yourself to act that way.
  • 00:04:23.743 --> 00:04:26.245
  • And then before you know it, you're gonna start telling
  • 00:04:26.245 --> 00:04:28.781
  • Yourself there's nothing wrong with that.
  • 00:04:28.781 --> 00:04:31.784
  • You'll convince yourself there's nothing wrong with it.
  • 00:04:31.784 --> 00:04:33.619
  • And you're not paying attention to the people you injure, but
  • 00:04:33.619 --> 00:04:37.423
  • You say, "well, there's nothing wrong with my pattern, and if
  • 00:04:37.423 --> 00:04:39.692
  • You don't like it, you can--" now, see, now, you going
  • 00:04:39.692 --> 00:04:43.029
  • There, right?
  • 00:04:43.029 --> 00:04:44.364
  • And you're provoking anger and arguments and stuff like that.
  • 00:04:44.364 --> 00:04:46.866
  • Taffi: it's starting to escalate, it's starting to be
  • 00:04:46.866 --> 00:04:50.903
  • Intense, and perhaps it wasn't a good time to even have the
  • 00:04:50.903 --> 00:04:54.674
  • Conversation in the beginning.
  • 00:04:54.674 --> 00:04:56.042
  • But even to the point of naming your pattern, just owning what
  • 00:04:56.042 --> 00:05:01.581
  • You recognize about yourself, what you typically do, 'cause i
  • 00:05:01.581 --> 00:05:05.184
  • Would--in many instances, i would become defensive and we
  • 00:05:05.184 --> 00:05:13.793
  • Could find ourselves arguing about me being defensive or "you
  • 00:05:13.793 --> 00:05:20.666
  • Always do that" or--
  • 00:05:20.666 --> 00:05:22.034
  • Creflo: "always," or "you never."
  • 00:05:22.034 --> 00:05:23.369
  • Taffi: those words can also just escalate and take the
  • 00:05:23.369 --> 00:05:27.840
  • Conversation left as opposed to just "this is how i feel, and
  • 00:05:27.840 --> 00:05:33.780
  • This is what i'm dealing with, and i want you to help me to not
  • 00:05:33.780 --> 00:05:39.819
  • Go down the same way in which we have done in the past."
  • 00:05:39.819 --> 00:05:44.023
  • Creflo: you know, facing your issues, that's scary.
  • 00:05:44.023 --> 00:05:50.663
  • It's a lot easier to--
  • 00:05:50.663 --> 00:05:53.399
  • Taffi: it takes courage.
  • 00:05:53.399 --> 00:05:54.734
  • Creflo: it takes a lot of courage.
  • 00:05:54.734 --> 00:05:56.202
  • It takes courage to face your issue and say, "this is true
  • 00:05:56.202 --> 00:06:01.607
  • About me.
  • 00:06:01.607 --> 00:06:04.343
  • I don't like it, but that's the truth about me.
  • 00:06:04.343 --> 00:06:08.214
  • I'm argumentative, i'm provoking."
  • 00:06:08.214 --> 00:06:13.352
  • And nothing really happens until you can come face to face with
  • 00:06:13.352 --> 00:06:19.459
  • Those things.
  • 00:06:19.459 --> 00:06:20.793
  • And i can remember being--it being really scary that i had to
  • 00:06:20.793 --> 00:06:24.730
  • Admit to myself that i was fearful, because i would always
  • 00:06:24.730 --> 00:06:29.969
  • Put the fearful thing on you.
  • 00:06:29.969 --> 00:06:31.337
  • "of course, i'm not fearful, i'm courageous."
  • 00:06:31.337 --> 00:06:33.473
  • And to find out that i had just as much fear controlling my
  • 00:06:33.473 --> 00:06:38.110
  • Life, fear of raising my children.
  • 00:06:38.110 --> 00:06:42.682
  • Fear of their protection, so i would go overboard, fear of all
  • 00:06:42.682 --> 00:06:48.621
  • These kind of things, fear of being a provider.
  • 00:06:48.621 --> 00:06:52.725
  • "am i going to be able to successfully provide for
  • 00:06:52.725 --> 00:06:56.829
  • My family?"
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  • Fear of waking up one day and it's all over with.
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  • Taffi: it's all over with.
  • 00:07:02.235 --> 00:07:03.603
  • Creflo: yeah, fear of not being accepted, that approval
  • 00:07:03.603 --> 00:07:05.771
  • Addiction, those are not--i don't wanna put people in a
  • 00:07:05.771 --> 00:07:11.544
  • Situation where they're thinking, "well, this is just
  • 00:07:11.544 --> 00:07:12.912
  • Really easy," neither i want them to think that because it's
  • 00:07:12.912 --> 00:07:16.682
  • Hard, then you don't do it, okay?
  • 00:07:16.682 --> 00:07:18.417
  • We do hard things, you know?
  • 00:07:18.417 --> 00:07:21.554
  • But i do want people, especially men, to know, yeah, it's gonna
  • 00:07:21.554 --> 00:07:26.425
  • Sting a little bit, but do it.
  • 00:07:26.425 --> 00:07:29.028
  • Do it anyway.
  • 00:07:29.028 --> 00:07:30.363
  • You're gonna be better off when you stop believing the stuff you
  • 00:07:30.363 --> 00:07:36.002
  • Tell yourself to believe.
  • 00:07:36.002 --> 00:07:38.004
  • Taffi: that's good, because sometimes i remember where your
  • 00:07:38.004 --> 00:07:43.743
  • Volume would get loud, and then i would get lower and eventually
  • 00:07:43.743 --> 00:07:49.782
  • Just turn the knob off or walk off, and that would infuriate
  • 00:07:49.782 --> 00:07:55.254
  • You even more.
  • 00:07:55.254 --> 00:07:56.656
  • And so that was the fear dance.
  • 00:07:56.656 --> 00:07:59.058
  • And you'd say, "well, why are you walking away?
  • 00:07:59.058 --> 00:08:02.395
  • You're always walking away."
  • 00:08:02.395 --> 00:08:04.397
  • And i recognize, "okay, why am i walking away?
  • 00:08:04.397 --> 00:08:08.601
  • What is it that i can use in terms of communicating so that
  • 00:08:08.601 --> 00:08:13.906
  • It will identify what i'm trying to suppress and to acknowledge
  • 00:08:13.906 --> 00:08:20.379
  • Those things?"
  • 00:08:20.379 --> 00:08:21.714
  • So, number two, the second--
  • 00:08:21.714 --> 00:08:23.282
  • Creflo: before you go to number two, i remember you--you have
  • 00:08:23.282 --> 00:08:25.084
  • To remind me, but i think you said something to the fact that
  • 00:08:25.084 --> 00:08:32.124
  • Whatever you rehearse and do at home, you'll do with other
  • 00:08:32.124 --> 00:08:35.561
  • People, 'cause my volume was loud with other people.
  • 00:08:35.561 --> 00:08:38.531
  • My volume was loud with my staff and people at church.
  • 00:08:38.531 --> 00:08:43.035
  • My volume was loud, and my volume being loud with you, it
  • 00:08:43.035 --> 00:08:48.274
  • Was--i had justified that.
  • 00:08:48.274 --> 00:08:51.577
  • Somehow, somebody told me that that's what you do to be a
  • 00:08:51.577 --> 00:08:56.415
  • Strong leader, and then later on it just dawned on me, i'm like,
  • 00:08:56.415 --> 00:09:00.119
  • "that ain't what you do to be a strong leader."
  • 00:09:00.119 --> 00:09:03.122
  • And you--you know, you start facing yourself.
  • 00:09:03.122 --> 00:09:04.557
  • You don't have to have your volume high.
  • 00:09:04.557 --> 00:09:07.526
  • And then one time it got--my volume got high one time i
  • 00:09:07.526 --> 00:09:09.996
  • Thought i was having a heart attack.
  • 00:09:09.996 --> 00:09:12.031
  • I mean, it's like somebody was saying, "see there, you better
  • 00:09:12.031 --> 00:09:13.966
  • Turn your volume down."
  • 00:09:13.966 --> 00:09:15.768
  • But the love is the basis for changes that you make in your
  • 00:09:15.768 --> 00:09:22.642
  • Life, so you better believe whatever you kinda see somebody
  • 00:09:22.642 --> 00:09:27.346
  • Doing in public, probably doing it at home too.
  • 00:09:27.346 --> 00:09:31.017
  • Yeah, so, anyway, next.
  • 00:09:31.017 --> 00:09:33.686
  • Taffi: okay, number two.
  • 00:09:33.686 --> 00:09:35.287
  • Second thing is to call out the cycle, not each other.
  • 00:09:35.287 --> 00:09:40.092
  • Creflo: explain that.
  • 00:09:40.092 --> 00:09:41.861
  • Taffi: well, i think it's important--as we mentioned,
  • 00:09:41.861 --> 00:09:45.531
  • Sometimes we think that "why do you do something always?"
  • 00:09:45.531 --> 00:09:50.536
  • Or just in a place of, as we've mentioned, you know, if you get
  • 00:09:50.536 --> 00:09:57.309
  • Loud, then i feel the need to call out your volume, "bring
  • 00:09:57.309 --> 00:10:03.949
  • Your tone down."
  • 00:10:03.949 --> 00:10:05.518
  • And you get loud--
  • 00:10:05.518 --> 00:10:07.820
  • Creflo: then i'll say, "i'm not your child.
  • 00:10:07.820 --> 00:10:09.889
  • You don't tell me to bring my tone down."
  • 00:10:09.889 --> 00:10:12.124
  • Taffi: and then, you know, i'm responding, "i'm not trying to
  • 00:10:12.124 --> 00:10:15.661
  • Be x, y, and z," and--
  • 00:10:15.661 --> 00:10:17.530
  • Creflo: there's that dance.
  • 00:10:17.530 --> 00:10:18.898
  • Taffi: yeah, so here we're dancing.
  • 00:10:18.898 --> 00:10:21.233
  • Yeah, so there's this cycle that's going on, and it just--
  • 00:10:21.233 --> 00:10:27.039
  • It starts building over and over again.
  • 00:10:27.039 --> 00:10:30.976
  • Creflo: that is so good, because if people would recognize this
  • 00:10:30.976 --> 00:10:35.881
  • Area of what's your cycle, you would say, "okay, well,
  • 00:10:35.881 --> 00:10:42.054
  • Normally, when this happens, then this is how i
  • 00:10:42.054 --> 00:10:45.725
  • Respond," okay?
  • 00:10:45.725 --> 00:10:47.593
  • "and when that happens, this is how i respond."
  • 00:10:47.593 --> 00:10:50.596
  • That is a dance, because your cycle is the essence of that
  • 00:10:50.596 --> 00:10:55.401
  • Fear dance, and until you break the cycle of whatever it is you
  • 00:10:55.401 --> 00:10:59.972
  • Do--you scream, i walk out.
  • 00:10:59.972 --> 00:11:03.642
  • You walk out, i'm offended.
  • 00:11:03.642 --> 00:11:06.345
  • You say, "lower your volume," i'm like, "you're not gonna
  • 00:11:06.345 --> 00:11:11.317
  • Disrespect me."
  • 00:11:11.317 --> 00:11:12.685
  • Taffi: "i'm not your child."
  • 00:11:12.685 --> 00:11:14.019
  • Creflo: "i'm not your child."
  • 00:11:14.019 --> 00:11:15.387
  • Ain't nobody said you was your child.
  • 00:11:15.387 --> 00:11:16.722
  • Why--there's a dance that's going on, and that dance
  • 00:11:16.722 --> 00:11:19.759
  • Continues until you identify the cycle.
  • 00:11:19.759 --> 00:11:24.363
  • That's really good.
  • 00:11:24.363 --> 00:11:26.165
  • Yeah, really good.
  • 00:11:26.165 --> 00:11:27.533
  • Taffi: the third thing to do is use a safe word or phrase,
  • 00:11:27.533 --> 00:11:30.536
  • Because sometimes you just have to pause and just say, "okay,
  • 00:11:30.536 --> 00:11:35.641
  • Let's take a minute, this is going left.
  • 00:11:35.641 --> 00:11:38.110
  • Let's just--this isn't going the direction that we intended
  • 00:11:38.110 --> 00:11:42.782
  • For it to go in, so maybe it's not a good time, maybe you're
  • 00:11:42.782 --> 00:11:47.186
  • Tired, maybe the day that you had was more than what you're
  • 00:11:47.186 --> 00:11:52.858
  • Able to provide in this conversation.
  • 00:11:52.858 --> 00:11:54.827
  • Let's talk about it tomorrow.
  • 00:11:54.827 --> 00:11:56.162
  • Let's plan a date night.
  • 00:11:56.162 --> 00:11:57.530
  • Let's go out somewhere and have a conversation."
  • 00:11:57.530 --> 00:11:59.832
  • And being able to recognize those things, too, because if
  • 00:11:59.832 --> 00:12:06.305
  • Not, it will just get out of hand, and--
  • 00:12:06.305 --> 00:12:12.745
  • Creflo: you said something one time, and it really ministers to
  • 00:12:12.745 --> 00:12:15.748
  • Me and a lot of my friends.
  • 00:12:15.748 --> 00:12:18.751
  • You need to always be concerned about showing the best version
  • 00:12:18.751 --> 00:12:23.422
  • Of yourself.
  • 00:12:23.422 --> 00:12:25.558
  • And if you know that you're not about to show the best version
  • 00:12:25.558 --> 00:12:30.095
  • Of yourself, this may not be a good time.
  • 00:12:30.095 --> 00:12:35.134
  • And that has been just so helpful to me, the fact that,
  • 00:12:35.134 --> 00:12:40.239
  • You know what?
  • 00:12:40.239 --> 00:12:42.942
  • Maybe i'm tired, or maybe i've got too much on my
  • 00:12:42.942 --> 00:12:48.414
  • Mind, and, you know, you taught me this, you've got to
  • 00:12:48.414 --> 00:12:53.152
  • Understand your capacity.
  • 00:12:53.152 --> 00:12:55.120
  • And when you've reached your capacity, you need to cut off,
  • 00:12:55.120 --> 00:12:58.224
  • Because i would push way, way past my capacity.
  • 00:12:58.224 --> 00:13:01.126
  • But the thing that's always motivated me in this area of not
  • 00:13:01.126 --> 00:13:04.930
  • Only finding out is this a good time to talk, what have i gone
  • 00:13:04.930 --> 00:13:08.934
  • Through through the day, but also communicating what
  • 00:13:08.934 --> 00:13:14.006
  • Irritated me, what hurt me, what challenge do i have that day?
  • 00:13:14.006 --> 00:13:19.912
  • A lot of times, men, you keep that stuff in, and you have a
  • 00:13:19.912 --> 00:13:24.984
  • Partner that's ready to support and bring things to you if
  • 00:13:24.984 --> 00:13:29.922
  • You're not the silent partner.
  • 00:13:29.922 --> 00:13:31.891
  • Now, you got some terms that you call that.
  • 00:13:31.891 --> 00:13:34.326
  • It's like--you know, i think about things that--decisions
  • 00:13:34.326 --> 00:13:37.930
  • I've made, and while you were trying to figure out submission,
  • 00:13:37.930 --> 00:13:42.334
  • I needed a partner that would confront me to think about
  • 00:13:42.334 --> 00:13:46.505
  • Something before i do.
  • 00:13:46.505 --> 00:13:48.307
  • There were several business deals that i handled one way,
  • 00:13:48.307 --> 00:13:51.911
  • And you said, "think about it this way."
  • 00:13:51.911 --> 00:13:53.946
  • And i looked back, and i could just pull my hair out, because
  • 00:13:53.946 --> 00:13:57.516
  • Had i listened to you, oh, it would have been so much better.
  • 00:13:57.516 --> 00:14:02.388
  • And i--and it took me a while to just get that out of my
  • 00:14:02.388 --> 00:14:04.657
  • System, but it also trained me: "dude, you need to make sure
  • 00:14:04.657 --> 00:14:09.428
  • That you're hearing her, let her have her place to speak into
  • 00:14:09.428 --> 00:14:15.334
  • Your situation, 'cause it could be saving you from something."
  • 00:14:15.334 --> 00:14:19.838
  • And--but a silent partner, i don't know how you dealt
  • 00:14:19.838 --> 00:14:23.809
  • With that.
  • 00:14:23.809 --> 00:14:25.177
  • Maybe you'll do it in a minute, but it really doesn't help.
  • 00:14:25.177 --> 00:14:27.212
  • Are you really helping out by being silent like you're just
  • 00:14:27.212 --> 00:14:32.251
  • This--you know, you call it submission, but it could be
  • 00:14:32.251 --> 00:14:35.888
  • Hurting or hurtful because i'm not getting the other part of
  • 00:14:35.888 --> 00:14:42.161
  • This covenant relationship, and in covenant relationship, you
  • 00:14:42.161 --> 00:14:46.732
  • Exchange strengths for weaknesses.
  • 00:14:46.732 --> 00:14:48.801
  • And wherever you're weak and i'm strong, i'd give you my strength
  • 00:14:48.801 --> 00:14:52.037
  • And take your weaknesses, and vice-versa.
  • 00:14:52.037 --> 00:14:54.873
  • So this is something that has really motivated me: i want to
  • 00:14:54.873 --> 00:14:59.611
  • Present the best version of me.
  • 00:14:59.611 --> 00:15:03.148
  • And if i'm not able to do that, then this is not a good time,
  • 00:15:03.148 --> 00:15:08.053
  • And i draw boundaries between what may be happening and the
  • 00:15:08.053 --> 00:15:13.692
  • Version that i wanna present, the best version of myself i
  • 00:15:13.692 --> 00:15:16.362
  • Wanna present.
  • 00:15:16.362 --> 00:15:17.730
  • Taffi: that's good, and i think back to my upbringing in the
  • 00:15:17.730 --> 00:15:23.802
  • Fact that it was where when you are, in a sense,
  • 00:15:23.802 --> 00:15:30.843
  • Kind of shut down to a certain degree or suppressed,
  • 00:15:34.613 --> 00:15:37.750
  • You can become more accustomed to doing that.
  • 00:15:37.750 --> 00:15:40.753
  • I remember a saying that my mom would say, "it's better to
  • 00:15:40.753 --> 00:15:45.491
  • Be thought a fool than to open up your mouth and confirm it
  • 00:15:45.491 --> 00:15:49.995
  • For everybody."
  • 00:15:49.995 --> 00:15:51.330
  • And so it was almost as if to be quiet, you know?
  • 00:15:51.330 --> 00:15:56.502
  • And so i think through me coming into ministry by your side and
  • 00:15:56.502 --> 00:16:04.076
  • Being your wife, it was always as if pastors' wives were
  • 00:16:04.076 --> 00:16:09.114
  • Quiet--seen but not really vocal or saying anything.
  • 00:16:09.114 --> 00:16:14.286
  • And so, i think religion has taken the voice of women, and,
  • 00:16:14.286 --> 00:16:20.225
  • In some homes, and maybe depending on the upbringing, it
  • 00:16:20.225 --> 00:16:23.429
  • Could do the same thing if you were not encouraged to use your
  • 00:16:23.429 --> 00:16:27.499
  • Voice and to express yourself and to be vocal.
  • 00:16:27.499 --> 00:16:30.969
  • And so i think it's vital to continue to cultivate and speak
  • 00:16:30.969 --> 00:16:39.645
  • To every situation, particularly things that impact both of you,
  • 00:16:39.645 --> 00:16:45.150
  • Because it wasn't just impacting you alone, but your decisions
  • 00:16:45.150 --> 00:16:50.089
  • Were impacting me, it impacted the children, impacted business,
  • 00:16:50.089 --> 00:16:53.425
  • Impacted a lot of other things.
  • 00:16:53.425 --> 00:16:55.694
  • And so, i recognize that now just in looking back because it
  • 00:16:55.694 --> 00:17:00.833
  • Was just the way in which we believed that that was what the
  • 00:17:00.833 --> 00:17:06.939
  • Wife was supposed to do was to be quiet and pray.
  • 00:17:06.939 --> 00:17:10.442
  • Creflo: yeah, that's just-- and, to me, that sounds so--
  • 00:17:10.442 --> 00:17:14.980
  • I don't--
  • 00:17:14.980 --> 00:17:16.348
  • Taffi: take it to god.
  • 00:17:16.348 --> 00:17:17.683
  • Creflo: you know, i know this is a strong word, but egregious.
  • 00:17:17.683 --> 00:17:19.918
  • It's just like--it's like, are you serious?
  • 00:17:19.918 --> 00:17:22.387
  • I can't believe i used to even think that way.
  • 00:17:22.387 --> 00:17:25.424
  • I mean, why even get married if you're just gonna operate by
  • 00:17:25.424 --> 00:17:29.261
  • Your opinion, or, you know, that you don't use the partner?
  • 00:17:29.261 --> 00:17:34.366
  • And that's so true with the holy spirit too.
  • 00:17:34.366 --> 00:17:36.735
  • We have an unseen partner, and we don't listen to him either,
  • 00:17:36.735 --> 00:17:39.338
  • And we don't give him an opportunity to speak into
  • 00:17:39.338 --> 00:17:41.807
  • Our lives.
  • 00:17:41.807 --> 00:17:43.175
  • Taffi: well, thank god for the new testament, where we can get
  • 00:17:43.175 --> 00:17:45.110
  • Over into understanding more about how jesus and how god
  • 00:17:45.110 --> 00:17:53.252
  • Wants us to use our voices and to recognize that our influence
  • 00:17:53.252 --> 00:17:58.190
  • Is beyond being quiet but to, yeah, use--using our
  • 00:17:58.190 --> 00:18:04.630
  • Words, and--
  • 00:18:04.630 --> 00:18:06.398
  • Creflo: i just think that's so controlling for any man,
  • 00:18:06.398 --> 00:18:11.403
  • Especially a pastor, to want his wife to be a prop and to not use
  • 00:18:11.403 --> 00:18:18.377
  • Her words.
  • 00:18:18.377 --> 00:18:19.745
  • But even another level is preventing your children to use
  • 00:18:19.745 --> 00:18:24.516
  • Their words.
  • 00:18:24.516 --> 00:18:25.851
  • You know, i was talking to my girls, i said if i had to do it
  • 00:18:25.851 --> 00:18:27.986
  • All over again, i would do it differently because i see the
  • 00:18:27.986 --> 00:18:31.757
  • Importance and the vitalness of you being able to use your words
  • 00:18:31.757 --> 00:18:36.361
  • So that we can come let us reason together and--
  • 00:18:36.361 --> 00:18:39.831
  • Taffi: use your emotions, use every part of you.
  • 00:18:39.831 --> 00:18:43.502
  • Use your words, use everything that is on the inside, because
  • 00:18:43.502 --> 00:18:48.807
  • Otherwise, we really don't tap into--
  • 00:18:48.807 --> 00:18:52.644
  • Creflo: who you really are and the making of who you really are
  • 00:18:52.644 --> 00:18:55.480
  • And the wiring that you really are.
  • 00:18:55.480 --> 00:18:57.716
  • And i'm--you know how i feel about it.
  • 00:18:57.716 --> 00:18:59.818
  • I'm just so fed up with the propaganda of religion, using
  • 00:18:59.818 --> 00:19:07.659
  • Fear to try to motivate people to obey god or to try to
  • 00:19:07.659 --> 00:19:13.899
  • Accomplish what jesus-- it's just not right.
  • 00:19:13.899 --> 00:19:17.502
  • And, you know, i'm not talking like this to have it so people
  • 00:19:17.502 --> 00:19:22.140
  • Can say, "oh, i love you.
  • 00:19:22.140 --> 00:19:24.176
  • I agree with you."
  • 00:19:24.176 --> 00:19:25.544
  • I really don't care, and not in a bad way.
  • 00:19:25.544 --> 00:19:29.581
  • But what i'm saying is that i have to be free from people in
  • 00:19:29.581 --> 00:19:34.419
  • Order to serve god, and i've got to be able to say what i believe
  • 00:19:34.419 --> 00:19:40.125
  • In order to serve god.
  • 00:19:40.125 --> 00:19:41.493
  • And at the end of the day, if you ask me how it's working for
  • 00:19:41.493 --> 00:19:45.397
  • Me, i'm like, "it's working better than ever."
  • 00:19:45.397 --> 00:19:48.233
  • I wonder if you'll be able to say the same thing, that if
  • 00:19:48.233 --> 00:19:50.702
  • You're still, you know, requiring to have a prop in your
  • 00:19:50.702 --> 00:19:54.840
  • Relationship, to be silenced, how's that working for you?
  • 00:19:54.840 --> 00:19:58.310
  • They'll say, "okay."
  • 00:19:58.310 --> 00:19:59.645
  • I'll say, "well, keep living."
  • 00:19:59.645 --> 00:20:01.013
  • 'cause that ain't gonna keep working, because you're dealing
  • 00:20:01.013 --> 00:20:03.348
  • With somebody who's a free moral agent, and after a while, you
  • 00:20:03.348 --> 00:20:07.719
  • Keep pushing that person back against the wall, they're gonna
  • 00:20:07.719 --> 00:20:09.988
  • Come out like a cat ready to fight.
  • 00:20:09.988 --> 00:20:12.190
  • Taffi: and at the end of the day, you know, some people are
  • 00:20:12.190 --> 00:20:14.660
  • Okay with that.
  • 00:20:14.660 --> 00:20:15.994
  • We talk a lot of times about male domination--
  • 00:20:15.994 --> 00:20:18.964
  • Creflo: i wonder, though.
  • 00:20:18.964 --> 00:20:20.299
  • I wonder if they're really okay with it, or are they using
  • 00:20:20.299 --> 00:20:22.334
  • A cover?
  • 00:20:22.334 --> 00:20:23.702
  • Taffi: and female subordination.
  • 00:20:23.702 --> 00:20:26.171
  • They will ebb and flow and work together,
  • 00:20:26.171 --> 00:20:31.777
  • Because some men in their ego and pride
  • 00:20:31.777 --> 00:20:38.884
  • Are good with that and don't want any spouse
  • 00:20:38.884 --> 00:20:42.854
  • Or anyone else telling them anything about their choices.
  • 00:20:42.854 --> 00:20:46.625
  • Creflo: i just don't think that that's--i don't think they'll
  • 00:20:46.625 --> 00:20:49.161
  • Ever see the best version of themselves doing that, and i'm--
  • 00:20:49.161 --> 00:20:52.197
  • This is strictly my opinion.
  • 00:20:52.197 --> 00:20:53.732
  • I mean, whatever works for you, you do whatever works for you.
  • 00:20:53.732 --> 00:20:56.702
  • I'm not the guy that can tell you, but what--but i'm just
  • 00:20:56.702 --> 00:21:00.272
  • Saying that it's just so important to me, my children,
  • 00:21:00.272 --> 00:21:03.875
  • You, to make sure that you have a voice.
  • 00:21:03.875 --> 00:21:08.613
  • And that's probably one of my biggest regrets, is that i
  • 00:21:08.613 --> 00:21:13.385
  • Became the voice for everybody without having an intimate place
  • 00:21:13.385 --> 00:21:18.290
  • To hear the voices of those who god put into my intimate space
  • 00:21:18.290 --> 00:21:23.595
  • To help me to be the very best that i could be.
  • 00:21:23.595 --> 00:21:25.597
  • And right now, today, i feel like i'm better than i've ever
  • 00:21:25.597 --> 00:21:28.467
  • Been before, but it's because of those voices, your voice being
  • 00:21:28.467 --> 00:21:33.271
  • Able to speak and to share and to give me things to look at,
  • 00:21:33.271 --> 00:21:38.243
  • Think about, and maybe jerk the slack out of me sometimes to be
  • 00:21:38.243 --> 00:21:42.280
  • The best version and to present the best version of myself.
  • 00:21:42.280 --> 00:21:46.418
  • Taffi: that's awesome.
  • 00:21:46.418 --> 00:21:47.786
  • So the last one is pray together, and that's something
  • 00:21:47.786 --> 00:21:50.422
  • That we do a lot, just recognizing areas of weaknesses
  • 00:21:50.422 --> 00:21:55.761
  • And triggers that we both have.
  • 00:21:55.761 --> 00:21:58.029
  • Creflo: yeah, i mean, we pray together but not in a
  • 00:21:58.029 --> 00:22:00.098
  • Religious sense.
  • 00:22:00.098 --> 00:22:01.466
  • Some people have taken it too far, that "oh, come on, give me
  • 00:22:01.466 --> 00:22:04.736
  • Your hand.
  • 00:22:04.736 --> 00:22:06.104
  • Let's get in the same room, and let's just pray together so we
  • 00:22:06.104 --> 00:22:08.106
  • Can tell people we pray together."
  • 00:22:08.106 --> 00:22:11.877
  • I kinda get weirded out over that.
  • 00:22:11.877 --> 00:22:13.912
  • I think that, you know, you need to pray in a place where you
  • 00:22:13.912 --> 00:22:19.284
  • Feel comfortable praying, i need to pray in a place where--and
  • 00:22:19.284 --> 00:22:22.954
  • Then we do come together and we pray about things, but we don't
  • 00:22:22.954 --> 00:22:26.591
  • Pray together every day.
  • 00:22:26.591 --> 00:22:28.693
  • There are things that we agree on, and, you know, we pray
  • 00:22:28.693 --> 00:22:32.164
  • Together for our children, we pray together for situations
  • 00:22:32.164 --> 00:22:35.534
  • That come, but this little thing of, you know, "i pray with my
  • 00:22:35.534 --> 00:22:39.871
  • Wife everyday," and then that's fine too.
  • 00:22:39.871 --> 00:22:41.540
  • I mean, please don't think i'm like the spiritual holy ghost
  • 00:22:41.540 --> 00:22:44.342
  • Police or nothing.
  • 00:22:44.342 --> 00:22:45.710
  • I'm just saying, you know, i'm talking about me and you.
  • 00:22:45.710 --> 00:22:48.547
  • I feel comfortable having my vulnerable time with the lord,
  • 00:22:48.547 --> 00:22:52.250
  • You feel comfortable having your vulnerable time with god, and
  • 00:22:52.250 --> 00:22:54.653
  • Then we feel comfortable coming together than having our times
  • 00:22:54.653 --> 00:22:58.256
  • Together, and that's perfectly fine.
  • 00:22:58.256 --> 00:23:01.593
  • However people wanna do it is perfectly fine, but i do think
  • 00:23:01.593 --> 00:23:04.629
  • We just need to open ourselves up to hear, to evaluate, and to
  • 00:23:04.629 --> 00:23:11.136
  • Just kinda, you know, roll it over in your head and just see,
  • 00:23:11.136 --> 00:23:15.240
  • "well, what i've been doing has not been working," you know, "so
  • 00:23:15.240 --> 00:23:19.244
  • Let me be open to a fresh way of viewing this and looking
  • 00:23:19.244 --> 00:23:24.249
  • At this."
  • 00:23:24.249 --> 00:23:25.617
  • It's still biblical, but i think sometimes, you know, to me,
  • 00:23:25.617 --> 00:23:28.753
  • Taffi, the whole--it's become so religious, we're always doing
  • 00:23:28.753 --> 00:23:32.190
  • Something to try to get god to do what he's already done, and
  • 00:23:32.190 --> 00:23:35.727
  • You know that freaks me out.
  • 00:23:35.727 --> 00:23:37.128
  • It's like, no, i don't wanna-- i wanna--i want to operate in
  • 00:23:37.128 --> 00:23:41.299
  • Redeemed effort, and i wanna operate from the finished works
  • 00:23:41.299 --> 00:23:46.571
  • Of jesus christ.
  • 00:23:46.571 --> 00:23:48.073
  • I want to do what's gonna enhance my intimacy with god, my
  • 00:23:48.073 --> 00:23:51.543
  • Relationship with god, and i want to partner with the holy
  • 00:23:51.543 --> 00:23:56.047
  • Spirit in keeping me in alignment with what jesus has
  • 00:23:56.047 --> 00:24:00.752
  • Already accomplished.
  • 00:24:00.752 --> 00:24:02.320
  • Okay, so i went way away from that.
  • 00:24:02.320 --> 00:24:05.023
  • Taffi: that's okay.
  • 00:24:05.023 --> 00:24:06.358
  • Well, we are so out of time, and i hope you got something out of
  • 00:24:06.358 --> 00:24:11.596
  • Today's broadcast.
  • 00:24:11.596 --> 00:24:12.964
  • And remember, marriage is not about perfection, it's
  • 00:24:12.964 --> 00:24:16.434
  • About partnership.
  • 00:24:16.434 --> 00:24:18.270
  • And in every partnership, you'll face seasons where fear tries to
  • 00:24:18.270 --> 00:24:21.840
  • Take the lead, but the good news is, you don't have to keep
  • 00:24:21.840 --> 00:24:25.076
  • Dancing that same fear dance.
  • 00:24:25.076 --> 00:24:28.046
  • Remember that god loves you and he offers a new rhythm, and that
  • 00:24:28.046 --> 00:24:31.349
  • Rhythm is one of grace, security, and truth.
  • 00:24:31.349 --> 00:24:34.853
  • It starts with one step, honesty, being honest.
  • 00:24:34.853 --> 00:24:39.024
  • And the next step is humility, and then the final step is hope.
  • 00:24:39.024 --> 00:24:43.595
  • So, remember, you're not powerless today, you are
  • 00:24:43.595 --> 00:24:46.064
  • Not alone.
  • 00:24:46.064 --> 00:24:47.566
  • And your marriage, no matter how broken it is, it can be healed.
  • 00:24:47.566 --> 00:24:52.404
  • God bless.
  • 00:24:52.404 --> 00:24:54.439
  • Announcer: in "the fear dance in marriage," creflo and taffi
  • 00:24:56.908 --> 00:24:59.611
  • Dollar offer christ-centered guidance for moving from fear to
  • 00:24:59.611 --> 00:25:03.281
  • Lasting freedom.
  • 00:25:03.281 --> 00:25:04.616
  • This two-message series equips couples with practical,
  • 00:25:04.616 --> 00:25:07.719
  • Heart-level tools for strong relationships.
  • 00:25:07.719 --> 00:25:10.422
  • With a love gift of $6 or more, you can receive your
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  • Digital downloads today.
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  • Call the number on your screen, scan the qr code, or visit
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  • Creflodollarministries.org and click e-store,
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  • And flourishing in intimacy.
  • 00:25:22.500 --> 00:25:24.703
  • Female announcer: join taffi dollar for the 2026 radical
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  • Women's conference, march 19 and 20, two days designed to awaken
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  • Your purpose and ignite your faith with guest speakers
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  • Dr. octavia roberts,
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  • Krislyn mcnair,
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  • Shardae orr
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  • Alyssa worrell,
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  • Gospel-recording artist kierra sheard,
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  • And special guest creflo dollar.
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  • Register now.
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  • Creflo: salvation is the beginning of a new life for
  • 00:25:57.068 --> 00:25:59.504
  • A believer.
  • 00:25:59.504 --> 00:26:00.872
  • It is from this point that we can move into the fullness of
  • 00:26:00.872 --> 00:26:04.376
  • Who god has called us to be and see the manifestation of the
  • 00:26:04.376 --> 00:26:08.813
  • Finished works of jesus.
  • 00:26:08.813 --> 00:26:11.082
  • It is one of my greatest pleasures to help people to
  • 00:26:11.082 --> 00:26:15.320
  • Understand who christ is and to lead people to christ.
  • 00:26:15.320 --> 00:26:18.189
  • If you would like salvation today, pray this prayer with me,
  • 00:26:18.189 --> 00:26:21.159
  • Very simple prayer: heavenly father, i believe in jesus.
  • 00:26:21.159 --> 00:26:26.364
  • I believe that he died, that he rose again, and that he
  • 00:26:26.364 --> 00:26:30.502
  • Lives today.
  • 00:26:30.502 --> 00:26:31.970
  • Come into my life, save me.
  • 00:26:31.970 --> 00:26:34.739
  • I receive you as my savior.
  • 00:26:34.739 --> 00:26:37.008
  • In jesus's name, amen.
  • 00:26:37.008 --> 00:26:40.111
  • Listen, if you prayed that prayer with me, that's how
  • 00:26:40.111 --> 00:26:42.681
  • Simple it is.
  • 00:26:42.681 --> 00:26:44.015
  • Welcome to the family of god.
  • 00:26:44.015 --> 00:26:46.785
  • Male announcer: because of you, creflo dollar ministries is
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  • Providing a new understanding of grace and empowering change in
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  • The lives of millions of people every day.
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  • Thank you, partners and friends, your love and financial support
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  • 00:27:03.768 --> 00:27:07.605
  • All across the globe.
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  • The preceding program was brought to you in part by the
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  • Partners and friends of creflo dollar ministries.
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  • ♪♪♪
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