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Dr. Robert Jeffress

Robert Jeffress - Choosing Forgiveness Over Bitterness (Part 1)

March 16, 2026 | 27:29

Robert Jeffress - Choosing Forgiveness Over Bitterness (Part 1)
Pathway to Victory offers a practical application of God’s Word to everyday life through the clear, biblical teaching of Pastor Jeffress.
#WordofGod #Peace #Justification #LoveofGod #Righteousness #Forgiveness #Grace #Favor #RobertJeffress

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Dr. Robert Jeffress | Robert Jeffress - Choosing Forgiveness Over Bitterness (Part 1) | March 16, 2026
  • ♪ music ♪
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  • From the pulpit
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  • Of the first baptist church of dallas, texas,
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  • This is "pathway to victory"
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  • With dr. robert jeffress.
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  • Hi, i'm robert jeffress
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  • And welcome again to "pathway to victory."
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  • Many people believe that forgiveness depends
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  • On whether their offender comes asking for it,
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  • But in reality, forgiveness is an attitude,
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  • A choice that begins with you.
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  • Today i'm going to explain why it's better
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  • To let go of past offenses
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  • Than to burden ourselves with the weight of unforgiveness.
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  • My message is titled choosing forgiveness over bitterness.
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  • On today's edition of "pathway to victory."
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  • ♪ music ♪
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  • Life doesn't always go the way we plan.
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  • But here's the good news:
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  • We get to choose how we respond.
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  • In "choose your attitudes, change your life"
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  • Dr. robert jeffress shares 11 biblical attitude choices
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  • That can transform your health, your relationships,
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  • And even your eternity.
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  • You may not be able to control what happens to you,
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  • But you can learn how
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  • To make your circumstances strengthen you
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  • Rather than destroy you.
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  • Request "choose your attitudes, change your life"
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  • When you give a generous gift to "pathway to victory."
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  • ♪ music ♪
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  • While i was pastor in a previous church,
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  • I used to have a weekly newspaper column
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  • In our local newspaper called ask the doctor,
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  • And people would write in various questions
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  • About the bible, theology, the christian life,
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  • And one of the most frequently-asked questions
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  • Was this one:
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  • What is the worst sin a person can commit?
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  • What is the worst sin?
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  • And people were always surprised by my answer.
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  • They would expect that i would mention one of the big three,
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  • Murder, adultery, homosexuality.
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  • They would say, "surely that would be the worst sin."
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  • But that wasn't the worst sin that i would mention.
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  • Now we know that god doesn't grade sin.
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  • All sin is sin in god's eyes
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  • And any sin is enough to disqualify us from god's kingdom.
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  • We know that god doesn't grade sin,
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  • But the fact is there are some sins
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  • That have a greater consequence, in this life at least,
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  • Than other sins,
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  • And that's why i chose the sin of bitterness
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  • As the worst sin that somebody can commit.
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  • Bitterness, refusing to let go of hurts in your life,
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  • Refusing to forgive the offenses of others
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  • Has devastating results,
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  • Not only in our life but in the lives of those around us.
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  • You know, in hebrews 12:15, the writer says:
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  • See to it that no one of you
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  • Comes short of the grace of god,
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  • That no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble,
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  • And many of it, many be defiled.
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  • You know in our series
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  • "choose your attitudes, change your life"
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  • We're saying that we don't get
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  • To choose our circumstances in life,
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  • We don't get to change our circumstances in our life,
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  • But we can choose our response to the circumstances of life.
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  • You know, one common circumstance,
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  • Every one of us in this room
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  • Or watching this broadcast have is this:
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  • At some point in your life you're going to be hurt
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  • And hurt deeply by another person.
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  • Have you discovered that you can't control
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  • What other people do to you?
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  • Somebody's going to hurt you deeply.
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  • It may be a friend who betrays you, a mate who deserts you,
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  • A parent who abuses you,
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  • A business associate who cheats you.
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  • But the fact is we're all going to be hurt.
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  • That's a common experience.
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  • But we do have control
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  • Over how we respond to those hurts in life.
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  • We can hold onto them, and that's what bitterness is,
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  • Until that bitterness metastasizes into a tumor
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  • And destroys our life and those around us.
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  • The other choice we have is to forgive those offenses.
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  • The word forgive literally means to let go of.
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  • Forgiveness is actually an attitude choice
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  • That honestly acknowledges an offense and then releases it
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  • On the basis of god's forgiveness of us.
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  • Let me say it again.
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  • Forgiveness is an actually an attitude choice
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  • That honestly acknowledges an offense and then releases it
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  • On the basis of god's forgiveness of us.
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  • Today we're going to talk
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  • About why we ought to choose
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  • Forgiveness over bitterness.
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  • How can i let go of that deep wound in my life?
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  • How can i let go of it and why should i let go of it?
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  • Probably the passage to me in the bible
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  • That best answers those questions
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  • Is found in a familiar story that jesus told
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  • And is recorded in matthew 18.
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  • Turn to matthew 18
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  • As we look at first of all, forgiveness illustrated.
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  • Now, jesus told a lot of stories, a lot of parables,
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  • But to understand those parables
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  • You have to first of all
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  • Understand the context of the parable.
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  • What is it that led up to jesus
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  • Telling whatever particular story it is he told?
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  • It's true here as well.
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  • Earlier in matthew 18,
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  • Jesus has been talking about church discipline.
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  • How should a congregation deal with members who sin
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  • And hurt that congregation or hurt the reputation of christ?
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  • And remember, jesus gave us a four-step process.
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  • You're to go to that person in private.
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  • If he repents, you've won a brother.
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  • If he doesn't repent, then take two or three with you.
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  • If he doesn't repent, then tell it to the church
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  • And have the church pray for the person.
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  • If he still doesn't repent,
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  • Then you're to turn him out of the church
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  • So that he doesn't become a cancer in the church.
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  • That's how you deal
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  • With people who are sinning against the church
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  • Or hurting the reputation of christ.
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  • But then beginning verse 21, peter changes topics.
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  • He says, peter came to him
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  • And said, "lord, how often shall my brother sin against me
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  • And i forgive him?
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  • Up to seven times?"
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  • You see peter's no longer talking
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  • About sins against the body of christ.
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  • He's talking about personal sins.
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  • "what am i to do about people who hurt me, lord?"
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  • Now peter had been around the lord long enough
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  • To know he was supposed to forgive.
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  • "should i forgive up to seven times?"
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  • Why did he choose seven?
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  • Well, there was a popular rabbi in jesus' day
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  • Who said, "if somebody wrongs you, forgive.
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  • If he wrongs you again, forgive.
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  • If he wrongs you a third time, forgive.
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  • If he wrongs you a fourth time, don't forgive.
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  • Three was the limit in jesus' day for forgiveness.
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  • And so when peter said,
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  • "should i forgive up to seven times?"
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  • He was being exceedingly generous.
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  • But how did jesus respond?
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  • Verse 22, "i do not say to you up to seven times,
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  • But up to 70 times 7."
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  • That was a way of saying
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  • You're to forgive and forgive and forgive
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  • And to keep on forgiving.
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  • Why should i do that?
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  • Why should i keep on forgiving somebody who hurts me?
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  • That is the question
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  • That resulted in this story that jesus told.
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  • Look at verse 23.
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  • "for this reason,
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  • Because you're supposed to forgive
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  • An unlimited number of times,
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  • Let me tell you a story," jesus said.
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  • "the kingdom of heaven can be compared
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  • To a certain king who wished
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  • To settle accounts with his slaves.
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  • And when he had begun to settle them,
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  • There was brought to him one who owed him 10,000 talents.
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  • Here was a king who needed some money
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  • And he needed it quickly.
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  • He was running short on cash.
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  • So he calls in all of his accounts receivable,
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  • People who owed him money, and he started, obviously,
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  • With the person who owed him the most money.
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  • It was a slave who owed him 10,000 talents.
  • 00:08:34.092 --> 00:08:38.630
  • Now, in jesus' day, a talent was a unit of measurement.
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  • It was about 80 pounds of gold. that was one talent.
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  • This slave owed the king 10,000 talents.
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  • You want to compute how much gold that that is?
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  • I did it one time
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  • And then i did it
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  • According to the current price of gold today.
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  • You know how much money that would be today?
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  • That would be $16 billion.
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  • Here is a slave who owed a king $16 billion.
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  • You say, "how could a measly slave end up
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  • Owing that much money?"
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  • Remember, this is a parable. it's a story jesus told.
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  • He was using exaggeration to say,
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  • "here is somebody who owed a debt
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  • He couldn't repay in 10,000 lifetimes if he wanted to."
  • 00:09:24.943 --> 00:09:29.314
  • But the king said, "you owe me this money. repay."
  • 00:09:29.314 --> 00:09:32.017
  • In verse 25: since the slave
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  • Did not have the means to repay,
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  • The king commanded him to be sold
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  • Along with his wife and children and all that he had
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  • And repayment to be made.
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  • The slave, therefore falling down,
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  • Prostrated himself before the king saying,
  • 00:09:45.897 --> 00:09:48.967
  • "have patience with me and i will repay you everything."
  • 00:09:48.967 --> 00:09:54.205
  • Now, how is he going to do that?
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  • Take a little bit out of his check every week
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  • Until it was repaid?
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  • $16 billion. i don't think so.
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  • It was impossible for him to repay the debt.
  • 00:10:03.448 --> 00:10:06.251
  • But the lord, verse 27:
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  • The king of that slave felt compassion
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  • And he released him and he forgave him the debt.
  • 00:10:11.389 --> 00:10:15.260
  • There is the meaning of forgiveness. it's a financial term.
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  • It means to release someone of a debt.
  • 00:10:19.064 --> 00:10:23.168
  • The king chose to forgive the debt,
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  • To absorb the loss himself.
  • 00:10:26.805 --> 00:10:29.774
  • Then this is where the story takes a twist.
  • 00:10:29.774 --> 00:10:31.710
  • But the slave,
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  • The one who had just been forgiven the $16 billion,
  • 00:10:33.178 --> 00:10:35.447
  • Went out and found his fellow slave
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  • Who owed him a 100 denarii.
  • 00:10:37.982 --> 00:10:41.619
  • Now a denarius in roman culture
  • 00:10:41.619 --> 00:10:44.989
  • Was 16 cents,
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  • One denarius, that was a day's wage.
  • 00:10:47.192 --> 00:10:50.762
  • This slave found a fellow slave
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  • Who owed him a hundred denarii,
  • 00:10:53.064 --> 00:10:55.600
  • That would be about $16.
  • 00:10:55.600 --> 00:10:59.137
  • And he seized him and he began to choke him,
  • 00:10:59.137 --> 00:11:02.240
  • Saying, "pay back what you owe."
  • 00:11:02.240 --> 00:11:05.043
  • So his fellow slave fell down
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  • And began to entreat him, saying,
  • 00:11:06.778 --> 00:11:08.179
  • "have patience with me, i will repay you."
  • 00:11:08.179 --> 00:11:11.382
  • Sound familiar?
  • 00:11:11.382 --> 00:11:13.118
  • That's exactly what the first slave had said to the king,
  • 00:11:13.118 --> 00:11:15.253
  • "have patience with me and i will repay you."
  • 00:11:15.253 --> 00:11:17.822
  • But unlike the king, this first slave was unwilling.
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  • Verse 30 says,
  • 00:11:21.593 --> 00:11:23.094
  • "and he went and he threw his fellow slave into prison
  • 00:11:23.094 --> 00:11:25.830
  • Until he should pay back what was owed.
  • 00:11:25.830 --> 00:11:28.633
  • So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened,
  • 00:11:28.633 --> 00:11:32.337
  • They were deeply grieved
  • 00:11:32.337 --> 00:11:34.072
  • And came and reported to their lord all that had happened.
  • 00:11:34.072 --> 00:11:37.609
  • Then, summoning him, the king said to him,
  • 00:11:37.609 --> 00:11:39.544
  • 'you wicked slave.
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  • I forgave you all that debt because you entreated me.
  • 00:11:42.413 --> 00:11:46.251
  • Should you not have also had mercy on your fellow slave,
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  • Even as i had mercy on you?'
  • 00:11:49.821 --> 00:11:54.626
  • And the king moved with anger,
  • 00:11:54.626 --> 00:11:56.828
  • Handed him over to the torturers
  • 00:11:56.828 --> 00:11:59.497
  • Until he should repay all that was owed him."
  • 00:11:59.497 --> 00:12:04.035
  • And then jesus adds the zinger in verse 35,
  • 00:12:04.035 --> 00:12:07.105
  • "so shall my heavenly father also do to you
  • 00:12:07.105 --> 00:12:11.743
  • If each of you does not forgive his brother
  • 00:12:12.644 --> 00:12:15.914
  • From your heart."
  • 00:12:15.914 --> 00:12:19.751
  • Make no mistake about it,
  • 00:12:20.318 --> 00:12:22.220
  • This second slave who owed a $16 debt owed a very real debt.
  • 00:12:23.388 --> 00:12:28.626
  • This was not an imaginary debt.
  • 00:12:29.260 --> 00:12:31.696
  • Just like the first slave owed
  • 00:12:31.696 --> 00:12:33.231
  • A very real $16 billion debt to the king
  • 00:12:33.231 --> 00:12:36.634
  • That was real as well.
  • 00:12:36.634 --> 00:12:38.770
  • This slave had every legal right
  • 00:12:39.404 --> 00:12:42.941
  • To collect his $16,
  • 00:12:42.941 --> 00:12:46.277
  • But he had no moral right to collect it
  • 00:12:46.277 --> 00:12:51.049
  • Because of the great debt he had just been forgiven.
  • 00:12:51.049 --> 00:12:54.586
  • Listen to what jesus is saying to us about forgiveness.
  • 00:12:55.653 --> 00:12:59.824
  • He's not asking you to deny
  • 00:12:59.824 --> 00:13:01.893
  • That you've been hurt or wronged.
  • 00:13:01.893 --> 00:13:04.162
  • He's not asking you to sweep that hurt under the rug
  • 00:13:04.162 --> 00:13:06.664
  • And play like it's never happened.
  • 00:13:06.664 --> 00:13:09.167
  • He's not denying the pain you have suffered
  • 00:13:09.167 --> 00:13:11.736
  • Because of that wrong.
  • 00:13:11.736 --> 00:13:13.504
  • All he's asking you to do
  • 00:13:13.504 --> 00:13:14.772
  • Is to keep your hurt in perspective.
  • 00:13:14.772 --> 00:13:18.810
  • You see, the difference
  • 00:13:19.310 --> 00:13:20.578
  • Between how much somebody has wronged you,
  • 00:13:20.578 --> 00:13:24.215
  • The worst thing they've ever done to you,
  • 00:13:24.215 --> 00:13:26.150
  • The difference between how much somebody has wronged you
  • 00:13:26.150 --> 00:13:29.320
  • And how much you have wronged god
  • 00:13:29.988 --> 00:13:33.057
  • Is the difference between $16 and $16 billion.
  • 00:13:34.025 --> 00:13:40.632
  • Forgiveness is the obligation
  • 00:13:41.266 --> 00:13:44.936
  • Of those who have truly been forgiven.
  • 00:13:44.936 --> 00:13:47.872
  • That's what jesus is saying in this parable.
  • 00:13:47.872 --> 00:13:51.442
  • You know, in the bible there is an inseparable link
  • 00:13:52.477 --> 00:13:57.048
  • Between our receiving god's forgiveness
  • 00:13:57.048 --> 00:13:59.851
  • And our willingness to grant that forgiveness to others.
  • 00:13:59.851 --> 00:14:03.321
  • We read it just a few moments ago in ephesians 4:32,
  • 00:14:03.321 --> 00:14:07.759
  • Paul said, "and be kind to one another, tenderhearted,
  • 00:14:07.759 --> 00:14:11.596
  • Forgiving each other
  • 00:14:11.596 --> 00:14:13.097
  • Just as god in christ also has forgiven you."
  • 00:14:13.097 --> 00:14:17.602
  • We are to forgive just as god has forgiven us,
  • 00:14:18.503 --> 00:14:23.541
  • In the same way that god has forgiven us.
  • 00:14:24.409 --> 00:14:25.376
  • Well, how has god forgiven us?
  • 00:14:25.376 --> 00:14:28.012
  • I want you to turn over to romans 5.
  • 00:14:28.012 --> 00:14:31.182
  • This chapter, perhaps more than any other,
  • 00:14:31.182 --> 00:14:33.785
  • Clearly explains two principles
  • 00:14:33.785 --> 00:14:36.354
  • About how god forgives you and me
  • 00:14:36.354 --> 00:14:38.356
  • And therefore how we should forgive others.
  • 00:14:38.356 --> 00:14:41.693
  • Look at romans 5:1.
  • 00:14:41.693 --> 00:14:43.861
  • "therefore, having been justified
  • 00:14:43.861 --> 00:14:46.097
  • That is declared not guilty by faith,
  • 00:14:46.097 --> 00:14:48.866
  • We have peace with god through our lord jesus christ."
  • 00:14:48.866 --> 00:14:51.703
  • Verse 6.
  • 00:14:51.703 --> 00:14:52.804
  • "for while we were still helpless,
  • 00:14:52.804 --> 00:14:54.372
  • At the right time christ died for the ungodly."
  • 00:14:54.372 --> 00:14:58.710
  • Verse 8.
  • 00:14:58.710 --> 00:15:00.044
  • "but god demonstrates his own love toward us
  • 00:15:00.044 --> 00:15:01.579
  • And that while we were yet sinners, christ died for us."
  • 00:15:01.579 --> 00:15:05.450
  • My point out to you just two simple principles
  • 00:15:05.450 --> 00:15:08.519
  • About how god forgives us.
  • 00:15:08.519 --> 00:15:10.121
  • First of all, god forgave us
  • 00:15:10.121 --> 00:15:12.023
  • When we didn't deserve forgiveness.
  • 00:15:12.023 --> 00:15:16.060
  • God forgave us when we didn't deserve forgiveness.
  • 00:15:16.060 --> 00:15:19.530
  • We have this funny idea that somehow god only forgives
  • 00:15:19.530 --> 00:15:22.633
  • Those who deserve to be forgiven.
  • 00:15:22.633 --> 00:15:25.336
  • God came to forgive the righteous,
  • 00:15:25.336 --> 00:15:29.374
  • Not the unrighteous,
  • 00:15:29.374 --> 00:15:31.442
  • But no, it's not the healthy who need a doctor.
  • 00:15:31.442 --> 00:15:35.246
  • It's the sick who need a doctor. matthew 9:12.
  • 00:15:35.246 --> 00:15:37.849
  • In the same way, it's not the righteous who need a savior,
  • 00:15:37.849 --> 00:15:40.518
  • It is the unrighteous.
  • 00:15:40.518 --> 00:15:42.854
  • God didn't just forgive those who deserve to be forgiven,
  • 00:15:42.854 --> 00:15:45.890
  • He came to forgive sinners, all of the unrighteous,
  • 00:15:45.890 --> 00:15:49.761
  • And that would be you and i.
  • 00:15:49.761 --> 00:15:52.130
  • In romans 3:10, paul says,
  • 00:15:52.130 --> 00:15:53.831
  • "for there is none righteous among us."
  • 00:15:53.831 --> 00:15:55.767
  • No, not even one. there is no one who does good.
  • 00:15:55.767 --> 00:15:59.037
  • Psalm 14:3, no, not even one.
  • 00:15:59.037 --> 00:16:03.174
  • Romans 5:6 says, "god forgave us when we were helpless,
  • 00:16:03.174 --> 00:16:07.612
  • When we were apart from christ.
  • 00:16:07.612 --> 00:16:10.181
  • He didn't forgive us when we deserved to be forgiven."
  • 00:16:10.181 --> 00:16:14.318
  • Secondly, god forgave us
  • 00:16:14.318 --> 00:16:16.821
  • On the basis of grace, not works.
  • 00:16:16.821 --> 00:16:20.958
  • God forgave us on the basis of grace, not works.
  • 00:16:20.958 --> 00:16:24.395
  • In other words, he didn't make us to do anything
  • 00:16:24.395 --> 00:16:27.365
  • To earn his forgiveness.
  • 00:16:27.365 --> 00:16:30.234
  • He granted it to us.
  • 00:16:30.234 --> 00:16:32.703
  • Why did he do that?
  • 00:16:32.703 --> 00:16:34.405
  • Remember our verses in romans 4:4-5,
  • 00:16:34.405 --> 00:16:38.242
  • Paul explains, "to the one who works,
  • 00:16:38.242 --> 00:16:40.378
  • His wage is not reckoned as a favor, but what is due."
  • 00:16:40.378 --> 00:16:44.949
  • When you go to work and receive a paycheck,
  • 00:16:44.949 --> 00:16:47.151
  • Your employer is not doing you a favor.
  • 00:16:47.151 --> 00:16:50.455
  • You earned that. you deserve that money.
  • 00:16:50.455 --> 00:16:53.558
  • If god allows us to work for our salvation,
  • 00:16:53.558 --> 00:16:56.094
  • Then we deserve salvation.
  • 00:16:56.094 --> 00:16:59.397
  • He refuses to owe any man or woman salvation
  • 00:16:59.397 --> 00:17:02.733
  • And that's why verse 5 says,
  • 00:17:02.733 --> 00:17:04.702
  • "but to the one who does not work
  • 00:17:04.702 --> 00:17:07.572
  • But believes in him who justifies the ungodly,
  • 00:17:07.572 --> 00:17:10.875
  • His faith is counted as righteousness."
  • 00:17:10.875 --> 00:17:15.179
  • God forgave us not based on our works,
  • 00:17:15.179 --> 00:17:19.884
  • But based on his grace.
  • 00:17:19.884 --> 00:17:21.519
  • Now let's review what we've seen.
  • 00:17:21.519 --> 00:17:24.222
  • God forgives those who don't deserve to be forgiven.
  • 00:17:24.222 --> 00:17:27.458
  • God forgives on the basis of grace, not works.
  • 00:17:27.458 --> 00:17:31.329
  • Isn't that exactly what you saw
  • 00:17:31.329 --> 00:17:33.131
  • In that parable about the king and the two debtors?
  • 00:17:33.131 --> 00:17:36.634
  • The king forgave that first slave of his $16 billion debt,
  • 00:17:36.634 --> 00:17:40.905
  • Not because he deserved to be forgiven,
  • 00:17:40.905 --> 00:17:44.108
  • He deserved to go to prison
  • 00:17:44.108 --> 00:17:45.576
  • If he couldn't pay back the debt.
  • 00:17:45.576 --> 00:17:47.111
  • That's what he deserved, but the king forgave him anyway.
  • 00:17:47.111 --> 00:17:51.048
  • And secondly, the king forgave the first slave
  • 00:17:51.048 --> 00:17:53.484
  • On the basis of grace, not works.
  • 00:17:53.484 --> 00:17:56.787
  • He refused to allow the slave
  • 00:17:56.787 --> 00:17:58.990
  • To try to earn the forgiveness of the debt.
  • 00:17:58.990 --> 00:18:01.659
  • Why? 'cause he was totally incapable of earning it.
  • 00:18:01.659 --> 00:18:04.829
  • The king realized he had to grant
  • 00:18:04.829 --> 00:18:07.298
  • The forgiveness of that debt.
  • 00:18:07.298 --> 00:18:10.434
  • Now, paul is saying,
  • 00:18:10.434 --> 00:18:11.936
  • "you and i are to forgive others
  • 00:18:11.936 --> 00:18:13.638
  • Just as god has forgiven us."
  • 00:18:13.638 --> 00:18:15.873
  • Listen to this.
  • 00:18:15.873 --> 00:18:17.808
  • First of all, we're to forgive those
  • 00:18:17.808 --> 00:18:19.377
  • Who don't deserve to be forgiven.
  • 00:18:19.377 --> 00:18:22.780
  • In our minds,
  • 00:18:23.147 --> 00:18:24.549
  • Most of us have people we are willing to forgive
  • 00:18:24.549 --> 00:18:27.852
  • And people we are unwilling to forgive.
  • 00:18:27.852 --> 00:18:30.621
  • In our mind, there are what we call unforgivable sins.
  • 00:18:30.621 --> 00:18:34.458
  • Thank god that's not in his mind. (chuckles)
  • 00:18:34.458 --> 00:18:37.728
  • We're to forgive those who don't deserve to be forgiven.
  • 00:18:37.728 --> 00:18:42.500
  • And secondly, we forgive on the basis of grace, not works.
  • 00:18:42.500 --> 00:18:47.772
  • We refuse to require somebody to earn our forgiveness.
  • 00:18:48.873 --> 00:18:52.543
  • We grant it as a gift just as it was granted to us.
  • 00:18:52.543 --> 00:18:57.515
  • And yet, in spite of that clear teaching of scripture,
  • 00:18:57.515 --> 00:19:01.085
  • There are many even in christian circles
  • 00:19:01.085 --> 00:19:03.054
  • Who teach what i call conditional forgiveness.
  • 00:19:03.054 --> 00:19:06.457
  • They teach that there are some categories of sin
  • 00:19:06.457 --> 00:19:10.061
  • That just can't be forgiven
  • 00:19:10.061 --> 00:19:11.629
  • And we can't expect a wronged person to forgive those sins
  • 00:19:11.629 --> 00:19:15.967
  • Or they teach that somebody has to earn your forgiveness
  • 00:19:15.967 --> 00:19:19.704
  • Before you can grant it.
  • 00:19:19.704 --> 00:19:21.973
  • And the result is people stay
  • 00:19:21.973 --> 00:19:23.975
  • In a prison of bitterness all their lives
  • 00:19:23.975 --> 00:19:26.844
  • Because of those two misunderstandings.
  • 00:19:26.844 --> 00:19:29.880
  • You know a good illustration of that
  • 00:19:29.880 --> 00:19:31.382
  • Was in a letter i saw, again,
  • 00:19:31.382 --> 00:19:34.018
  • In ann landers, the advice columnist, years ago,
  • 00:19:34.018 --> 00:19:37.989
  • And i clipped it out and put it in my file on forgiveness
  • 00:19:37.989 --> 00:19:42.026
  • Because it really demonstrates the problem
  • 00:19:42.026 --> 00:19:46.130
  • With making your forgiveness conditional.
  • 00:19:46.130 --> 00:19:50.101
  • This lady wrote, "dear ann landers,
  • 00:19:50.835 --> 00:19:52.870
  • Thank you for educating millions of people about incest.
  • 00:19:52.870 --> 00:19:57.408
  • I'm 42 and still recovering from my nightmarish childhood.
  • 00:19:57.408 --> 00:20:02.313
  • The molester was my father and it started at age seven
  • 00:20:02.313 --> 00:20:05.883
  • And continued until i was 12.
  • 00:20:05.883 --> 00:20:08.919
  • I was the victim of my parents sadomasochistic marriage.
  • 00:20:08.919 --> 00:20:12.957
  • My father was a sex addict and an alcoholic.
  • 00:20:12.957 --> 00:20:16.127
  • My mother was a codependent and a sex addict
  • 00:20:16.127 --> 00:20:18.929
  • And an alcoholic enabler.
  • 00:20:18.929 --> 00:20:21.232
  • In the eyes of the community we were the perfect family.
  • 00:20:21.232 --> 00:20:24.535
  • No one would've believed
  • 00:20:24.535 --> 00:20:25.836
  • What went on behind those closed doors.
  • 00:20:25.836 --> 00:20:28.739
  • The childhood sexual abuse caused me
  • 00:20:28.739 --> 00:20:31.108
  • To have severe health problems
  • 00:20:31.108 --> 00:20:32.943
  • As well as troubles in my school
  • 00:20:32.943 --> 00:20:35.046
  • And employment and social relationships.
  • 00:20:35.046 --> 00:20:38.349
  • I felt crazy and couldn't understand why.
  • 00:20:38.349 --> 00:20:41.886
  • Strange as it seems, i never made the connection.
  • 00:20:41.886 --> 00:20:45.990
  • My father died in 1972 and i didn't share a tear.
  • 00:20:45.990 --> 00:20:51.362
  • His tombstone should have said 'child molester'.
  • 00:20:52.330 --> 00:20:55.866
  • Thank you, ann.
  • 00:20:55.866 --> 00:20:57.501
  • Writing this letter has helped me
  • 00:20:57.501 --> 00:20:59.470
  • To dissipate some of my anger."
  • 00:20:59.470 --> 00:21:04.108
  • Now, we all sympathize with the woman in that situation,
  • 00:21:05.242 --> 00:21:10.481
  • But just imagine what her life is sentenced to
  • 00:21:11.415 --> 00:21:16.687
  • If she is taught conditional forgiveness.
  • 00:21:17.488 --> 00:21:21.092
  • There would be some who would say to this woman,
  • 00:21:22.026 --> 00:21:23.427
  • "well, you could never forgive your dad of that.
  • 00:21:23.427 --> 00:21:25.930
  • You can't ever forgive.
  • 00:21:25.930 --> 00:21:27.264
  • Nobody deserves to be forgiven of that sin."
  • 00:21:27.264 --> 00:21:31.068
  • Or suppose somebody said to her,
  • 00:21:31.702 --> 00:21:33.070
  • "well, you cannot forgive your dad
  • 00:21:33.070 --> 00:21:35.706
  • Until he asks for your forgiveness."
  • 00:21:35.706 --> 00:21:39.009
  • That'd be a little difficult
  • 00:21:39.009 --> 00:21:40.244
  • Since he's in the cemetery right now.
  • 00:21:40.244 --> 00:21:42.613
  • If that woman buys into conditional forgiveness,
  • 00:21:43.547 --> 00:21:46.250
  • She is a prisoner of bitterness the rest of her life.
  • 00:21:46.250 --> 00:21:51.188
  • There are two problems
  • 00:21:51.689 --> 00:21:53.124
  • With teaching conditional forgiveness.
  • 00:21:53.124 --> 00:21:56.494
  • First of all,
  • 00:21:56.494 --> 00:21:57.928
  • Conditional forgiveness misinterprets the bible itself.
  • 00:21:57.928 --> 00:22:01.699
  • One of the favorite passages people turn to
  • 00:22:01.699 --> 00:22:03.901
  • To say you can't forgive those who don't ask for it
  • 00:22:03.901 --> 00:22:07.705
  • Is luke 17:3-4:
  • 00:22:07.705 --> 00:22:10.574
  • Jesus said, "be on your guard.
  • 00:22:10.574 --> 00:22:13.344
  • If your brother sins, rebuke him,
  • 00:22:13.344 --> 00:22:15.813
  • And if he repents, forgive him.
  • 00:22:15.813 --> 00:22:18.482
  • And if he sins against you seven times a day
  • 00:22:18.482 --> 00:22:21.619
  • And returns to you seven times
  • 00:22:21.619 --> 00:22:23.387
  • Saying, 'i repent,' forgive him."
  • 00:22:23.387 --> 00:22:25.756
  • People say, "well, see, pastor, there it is.
  • 00:22:25.756 --> 00:22:28.259
  • Jesus said, 'if he repents, forgive him.'
  • 00:22:28.259 --> 00:22:31.695
  • Isn't that conditional forgiveness?"
  • 00:22:31.695 --> 00:22:34.231
  • Notice what jesus didn't say.
  • 00:22:34.865 --> 00:22:36.467
  • Yes, jesus said, "if he repents, forgive him."
  • 00:22:36.467 --> 00:22:39.103
  • Jesus didn't say, "if he doesn't repent, don't forgive him."
  • 00:22:39.103 --> 00:22:43.641
  • He wasn't addressing that situation.
  • 00:22:43.641 --> 00:22:45.843
  • He was saying if somebody comes to you and asks forgiveness,
  • 00:22:45.843 --> 00:22:48.679
  • You are to grant it.
  • 00:22:48.679 --> 00:22:50.181
  • ♪ music ♪
  • 00:22:50.181 --> 00:22:54.652
  • Maybe you feel like you've been running a three-legged race
  • 00:22:55.820 --> 00:22:58.756
  • With somebody you can't seem to forgive.
  • 00:22:58.756 --> 00:23:01.425
  • I hope today's message inspires you
  • 00:23:01.425 --> 00:23:03.494
  • To give up that fight and move on with your life.
  • 00:23:03.494 --> 00:23:07.097
  • And be sure to tune in next time
  • 00:23:07.097 --> 00:23:08.699
  • For the remainder of this important message
  • 00:23:08.699 --> 00:23:11.202
  • Because i'll conclude with practical ways
  • 00:23:11.202 --> 00:23:13.871
  • To apply what we've learned
  • 00:23:13.871 --> 00:23:15.339
  • About choosing forgiveness over bitterness.
  • 00:23:15.339 --> 00:23:19.376
  • Well, i'm pleased to report that more people
  • 00:23:19.376 --> 00:23:21.579
  • Are responding to "pathway to victory"
  • 00:23:21.579 --> 00:23:23.714
  • On television and radio than ever before,
  • 00:23:23.714 --> 00:23:26.717
  • And that's great news
  • 00:23:26.717 --> 00:23:27.985
  • Because there's never been a better time
  • 00:23:27.985 --> 00:23:30.221
  • To be sharing the love of jesus christ than right now.
  • 00:23:30.221 --> 00:23:34.258
  • So thank you for partnering with us
  • 00:23:34.258 --> 00:23:36.427
  • So that we can continue to reach people on a daily basis
  • 00:23:36.427 --> 00:23:40.064
  • With the hope of the gospel
  • 00:23:40.064 --> 00:23:41.765
  • Both here in america and around the world.
  • 00:23:41.765 --> 00:23:44.969
  • Stay right there.
  • 00:23:44.969 --> 00:23:46.270
  • I'll be back with more "pathway to victory"
  • 00:23:46.270 --> 00:23:48.539
  • In just a moment.
  • 00:23:48.539 --> 00:23:50.341
  • ♪ music ♪
  • 00:23:50.674 --> 00:23:52.309
  • When unexpected challenges hit,
  • 00:23:52.309 --> 00:23:54.512
  • It's easy to feel defeated and robbed of joy.
  • 00:23:54.512 --> 00:23:57.648
  • But while we can't always choose our circumstances,
  • 00:23:57.648 --> 00:24:00.451
  • We can always choose how we respond to them.
  • 00:24:00.451 --> 00:24:03.187
  • In "choose your attitudes, change your life,"
  • 00:24:03.187 --> 00:24:05.689
  • Dr. robert jeffress shares 11 proven attitude choices
  • 00:24:05.689 --> 00:24:09.093
  • That will help you experience
  • 00:24:09.093 --> 00:24:10.494
  • The abundant life god desires for you.
  • 00:24:10.494 --> 00:24:13.097
  • The bible tells us
  • 00:24:13.097 --> 00:24:14.465
  • That as a person thinks within himself, so is he.
  • 00:24:14.465 --> 00:24:18.302
  • Our attitudes impact everything:
  • 00:24:18.302 --> 00:24:20.538
  • Our health, our relationships, our work,
  • 00:24:20.538 --> 00:24:22.973
  • And even our eternity.
  • 00:24:22.973 --> 00:24:24.875
  • In my book, "choose your attitudes, change your life,"
  • 00:24:24.875 --> 00:24:28.012
  • I walk you through 11 essential choices
  • 00:24:28.012 --> 00:24:31.181
  • Like purpose over aimlessness,
  • 00:24:31.181 --> 00:24:33.384
  • Perseverance over defeat, and faith over worry.
  • 00:24:33.384 --> 00:24:37.555
  • These biblical principles have transformed countless lives
  • 00:24:37.555 --> 00:24:41.125
  • And they can transform yours as well.
  • 00:24:41.125 --> 00:24:43.661
  • Request your copy
  • 00:24:43.661 --> 00:24:44.995
  • Of "choose your attitudes, change your life"
  • 00:24:44.995 --> 00:24:46.997
  • When you give a generous gift
  • 00:24:46.997 --> 00:24:48.265
  • To support "pathway to victory,"
  • 00:24:48.265 --> 00:24:50.334
  • And when your ministry gift is $75 or more,
  • 00:24:50.334 --> 00:24:53.470
  • We'll also send you the companion study guide
  • 00:24:53.470 --> 00:24:56.106
  • Along with the complete teaching series on cd and dvd.
  • 00:24:56.106 --> 00:24:59.944
  • Our attitude determines our destiny.
  • 00:24:59.944 --> 00:25:02.846
  • Attitudes profoundly impact our life, our death,
  • 00:25:02.846 --> 00:25:07.785
  • And our eternal destiny.
  • 00:25:07.785 --> 00:25:09.720
  • Thank you for your generous support
  • 00:25:09.720 --> 00:25:11.455
  • Of "pathway to victory."
  • 00:25:11.455 --> 00:25:12.957
  • Your partnership helps us
  • 00:25:12.957 --> 00:25:14.458
  • Bring practical life-changing biblical truth
  • 00:25:14.458 --> 00:25:16.994
  • Into homes across the nation and around the world.
  • 00:25:16.994 --> 00:25:21.398
  • ♪ music ♪
  • 00:25:21.732 --> 00:25:23.133
  • Conditional forgiveness is a common practice
  • 00:25:23.133 --> 00:25:25.836
  • Among some christians,
  • 00:25:25.836 --> 00:25:27.671
  • But conditional forgiveness
  • 00:25:27.671 --> 00:25:29.540
  • Is not only impractical, it's wrong.
  • 00:25:29.540 --> 00:25:32.810
  • So next time we'll continue to explore the dysfunction
  • 00:25:32.810 --> 00:25:36.347
  • Of giving someone forgiveness with strings attached.
  • 00:25:36.347 --> 00:25:40.084
  • Then we will look at a biblical case study
  • 00:25:40.084 --> 00:25:42.419
  • That reveals how to extend proper forgiveness.
  • 00:25:42.419 --> 00:25:46.190
  • And we'll also learn
  • 00:25:46.190 --> 00:25:47.458
  • Why forgiveness is personally beneficial.
  • 00:25:47.458 --> 00:25:50.661
  • Stay tuned for a preview of what's coming up next
  • 00:25:50.661 --> 00:25:53.030
  • In our series "choose your attitudes, change your life."
  • 00:25:53.030 --> 00:25:57.835
  • I've found that those people who have a hard time forgiving
  • 00:25:57.835 --> 00:26:01.438
  • Really have an inflated view of their own righteousness.
  • 00:26:01.438 --> 00:26:05.476
  • They really don't understand in god's eyes
  • 00:26:05.476 --> 00:26:09.446
  • What sinners they are
  • 00:26:09.446 --> 00:26:10.948
  • And how much they need his grace and his mercy.
  • 00:26:10.948 --> 00:26:14.551
  • We forgive because we have been forgiven.
  • 00:26:14.551 --> 00:26:18.789
  • Set your dvr and join us next time
  • 00:26:18.789 --> 00:26:21.058
  • For part two of the message,
  • 00:26:21.058 --> 00:26:22.660
  • Choosing forgiveness over bitterness,
  • 00:26:22.660 --> 00:26:25.229
  • Here on "pathway to victory."
  • 00:26:25.229 --> 00:26:28.332
  • ♪ music ♪
  • 00:26:28.666 --> 00:26:30.134
  • Join us on the "pathway to victory" cruise to alaska,
  • 00:26:30.134 --> 00:26:32.503
  • June 13th through 20, 2026.
  • 00:26:32.503 --> 00:26:35.339
  • Let me paint a picture for you.
  • 00:26:35.339 --> 00:26:37.241
  • You're standing on the deck of a beautiful cruise ship,
  • 00:26:37.241 --> 00:26:40.511
  • Coffee in hand,
  • 00:26:40.511 --> 00:26:41.845
  • Watching a glacier calve into the pristine waters
  • 00:26:41.845 --> 00:26:45.382
  • While bald eagles circle overhead.
  • 00:26:45.382 --> 00:26:48.285
  • That's going to be us this coming june.
  • 00:26:48.285 --> 00:26:50.988
  • You've got to see alaska with your own eyes to believe it.
  • 00:26:50.988 --> 00:26:54.558
  • Seven days of pure luxury
  • 00:26:54.558 --> 00:26:56.527
  • Where every meal is prepared for you.
  • 00:26:56.527 --> 00:26:58.762
  • The world-class service
  • 00:26:58.762 --> 00:27:00.030
  • Means you never have to think about the details.
  • 00:27:00.030 --> 00:27:02.599
  • Instead, you can focus on casual conversations
  • 00:27:02.599 --> 00:27:05.836
  • With like-minded christians,
  • 00:27:05.836 --> 00:27:07.738
  • Laughing, telling stories,
  • 00:27:07.738 --> 00:27:09.440
  • While surrounded by god's breathtaking creation.
  • 00:27:09.440 --> 00:27:12.543
  • This is purposeful travel at its finest,
  • 00:27:12.543 --> 00:27:15.846
  • Refreshing your soul
  • 00:27:15.846 --> 00:27:17.414
  • In god's stunning cathedral of natural wonders.
  • 00:27:17.414 --> 00:27:21.485
  • Call 888-280-6747
  • 00:27:21.485 --> 00:27:24.888
  • Or visit ptv.org.
  • 00:27:24.888 --> 00:27:24.888