Robert Jeffress - How Can I Know How To Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt Me?

January 21, 2025 | S25:E35

Pathway to Victory offers a practical application of God’s Word to everyday life through the clear, biblical teaching of Pastor Jeffress.

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Dr. Robert Jeffress | Robert Jeffress - How Can I Know How To Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt Me? | January 21, 2025
  • ...
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  • ♪♪♪
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  • Male announcer: from the pulpit of the first baptist church
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  • Of dallas, texas, this is "pathway to victory,"
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  • With dr. robert jeffress.
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  • Dr. robert jeffress: hi, i'm robert jeffress and welcome,
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  • Again, to "pathway to victory."
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  • In theory, most of us would extol the virtues of
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  • Forgiveness, but unless you've personally experienced the pain
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  • Of a prodigal child, or a dishonest business partner, or a
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  • Cheating mate, it's hard to know what it truly means to forgive.
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  • Well, whether you've been hurt in big ways or small, i invite
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  • You to join me for this next half-hour as we discover the
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  • Physical, emotional, and spiritual benefits
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  • Of forgiveness.
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  • We're answering the question, "how can i know how to forgive
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  • Someone who has hurt me?"
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  • On today's edition of "pathway to victory."
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  • ♪♪♪
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  • Announcer: it's okay to have questions about your faith,
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  • But you need answers you can trust.
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  • In his book "how can i know?"
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  • Dr. robert jeffress addresses seven of life's
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  • Most important questions.
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  • If you've ever wondered how you can know the bible is true or
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  • How you can know if you're going to heaven,
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  • This book makes a compelling case for answers you
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  • Can embrace with confidence.
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  • Request your copy of "how can i know?"
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  • When you give a generous gift to support the ministry
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  • Of pathway to victory.
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  • Jeffress: c.s. lewis once said, "forgiveness is a beautiful word
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  • Until you have somebody to forgive."
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  • We all like the concept, the practice of it, maybe not
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  • So much.
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  • I think, right now, when i talk about forgiveness, somebody
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  • Comes to mind that has wronged you, that you know you
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  • Should forgive.
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  • And maybe an employer who has mistreated you.
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  • It may be a mate who abandoned you.
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  • It may be a parent who has neglected you.
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  • You know you're supposed to forgive, but in the back of your
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  • Mind, you're not sure you even should forgive.
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  • I mean, after all, doesn't justice demand that wrongs
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  • Be punished?
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  • In my experience as a pastor, there is no decision that is
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  • More crucial to our well-being than the choice to forgive.
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  • Author david augsberger says it this way, "forgiveness is hard,
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  • It hurts, and it costs."
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  • But not forgiving is even more costly.
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  • We're in a series, right now, entitled, "how can i know?
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  • Answers to life's seven most important questions," and today,
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  • We've come to the most practical of the questions we've looked at
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  • So far, and that is: how can i know how to forgive someone who
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  • Has hurt me?
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  • You know, it's interesting, the subject of forgiveness, until
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  • Fairly recently was, relegated to sunday school classes.
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  • I mean, people thought of the idea of "forgive one another"
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  • Kind of like they do, "turn the other cheek."
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  • It was a platitude that was universally accepted and
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  • Universally ignored.
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  • "oh, that stuff works in church, maybe, but not in the real
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  • World, where i live, forgive?"
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  • And yet, in recent years, researchers have discovered
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  • There are practical benefits to choosing to forgive.
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  • For example, there are physical benefits.
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  • There are health benefits to forgiving.
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  • In fact, bitterness, unforgiveness, has now been
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  • Directly linked to cardiovascular disease, to
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  • Hypertension, even to cancer.
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  • There are physical benefits to forgiving.
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  • There are emotional benefits of forgiving.
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  • When we refuse to forgive other people and, instead, rehearse
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  • That offense over and over in our mind, we are reliving that
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  • Pain and re-experiencing that pain.
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  • No, forgiveness is letting go.
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  • It's kind of like letting go of a rattlesnake.
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  • You know, if you let go of a rattlesnake, it benefits the
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  • Snake, but it benefits you more.
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  • Forgiveness is the way we let go of the past, but the physical
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  • And emotional benefits of forgiveness pale in comparison
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  • To the spiritual benefits of forgiveness.
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  • Jesus said it very matter of factly, very forcefully, in
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  • Matthew 6:14 to 15, he said, "for if you forgive others for
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  • Their transgressions, your heavenly father will also
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  • Forgive you.
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  • But if you do not forgive others, then your father will
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  • Not forgive your transgressions."
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  • Jesus couldn't have been any more clear.
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  • There's an inseparable link between receiving god's
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  • Forgiveness and extending forgiveness to other people.
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  • If you don't extend forgiveness to others, god will not
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  • Forgive you.
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  • There's a link between receiving and giving forgiveness.
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  • Well, jesus told this story to tell why we're to
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  • Forgive others.
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  • You remember this story, it's about a king who had a slave who
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  • Owed him 10,000 talents, and so he called in the slave and said,
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  • "i want my money and i want it now."
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  • And the slave said, "well, i don't have the money right now,
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  • On me, $16 billion, but be patient and i will repay
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  • You everything!"
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  • And the king, the bible says, matthew 18:27,
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  • "felt compassion."
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  • He felt compassion, he didn't usually feel compassion.
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  • But as he saw that slave bowing before him, begging leniency,
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  • Saying, "i'll repay you if you'll give me some compassion,"
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  • The king released him and forgave him of the debt.
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  • That's what forgiveness is, it is letting go of a debt.
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  • That slave was so relieved he left the palace that day,
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  • Rehearsing over in his mind what the king had said,
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  • "you're forgiven.
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  • You're forgiven, your debt is forgiven."
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  • And that slave, as he thought that over, said, "hey, you
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  • Know what?
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  • Come to think of it, there's somebody who owes me
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  • Some money."
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  • And jesus said he went out and found a fellow slave who owed
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  • Him 100 denarii.
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  • Now denarius was about 16 cents, one day's wage.
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  • So 100 denarii would be $16.
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  • He went out and found this friend of his, a fellow slave
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  • Who owed him $16, he grabbed him by the neck and began to choke
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  • Him, saying, "repay me everything you owe me!"
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  • And the slave couldn't repay the $16, so the first slave had his
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  • Fellow slave thrown into prison until he should
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  • Repay everything.
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  • When the king heard what this first slave had done, he
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  • Was outraged.
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  • He called him in, verse 32, and said, "'you wicked slave, i
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  • Forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.
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  • Should you not have also had mercy on your fellow slave, in
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  • The same way that i had mercy on you?'
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  • And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers
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  • Until he should repay all that was owed him."
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  • And then, jesus adds the zinger in verse 35, "so shall my
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  • Heavenly father do to each of you, if you do not forgive your
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  • Brother from the heart."
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  • I think what he is saying is, if you find it impossible to
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  • Forgive another person and refuse to forgive them, it's not
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  • Because you haven't earned salvation, it's not because you
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  • Lose salvation, it's because you never had it to begin with.
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  • Because when you understand the tremendous debt that god has
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  • Forgiven you of, you'll find it relatively easy to forgive
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  • Other people.
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  • Listen to me this morning, especially those of
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  • You watching.
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  • God's not asking you to deny the hurt that you've experienced.
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  • That hurt is real, but he said, "whenever you are hurt by
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  • Another person, keep that wrong in perspective, because the
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  • Difference between how much somebody has hurt you and how
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  • Much you have hurt god is the difference between $16 and $16
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  • Billion dollars."
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  • Forgiveness is the obligation of those who have been forgiven.
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  • It's important for our physical, emotional, and our
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  • Spiritual well-being.
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  • So then, why do people have trouble forgiving?
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  • If we know what's good for us, both now and for eternity, why
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  • Do we have trouble forgiving others?
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  • You know, people wonder sometimes why i talk so much
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  • About forgiveness.
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  • Is it because i have some big hurt in my life that i'm trying
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  • To recover from?
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  • No, not at all.
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  • But i know how much the bible speaks about it, and i also know
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  • The downside of not forgiving, having witnessed it in people
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  • For many, many years.
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  • And one reason people have difficulty forgiving is they
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  • Don't understand what it is and what it isn't.
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  • For example, forgiveness is not ignoring or
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  • Rationalizing offenses.
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  • One reason people find it difficult to forgive is they
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  • Think, "well, isn't that diminishing the seriousness of
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  • What was done to me?
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  • Isn't that rationalizing it?"
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  • Not at all.
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  • In fact, just the opposite.
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  • Remember this, you can only forgive people you're willing
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  • To blame.
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  • You know, you see that illustrated in the life story
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  • Of joseph.
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  • Remember joseph from the old testament?
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  • He was sold into slavery by his 11 brothers and, through a
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  • Miraculous set of circumstances, joseph ended up as the prime
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  • Minister of egypt and was in a position to sell grain to his
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  • Brothers who approached him, not knowing who he was.
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  • And when he confronted his brothers, remember his words
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  • To them?
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  • He said, "and as for you," genesis 50:20, "as for you, you
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  • Meant evil against me, but god used it for good to bring about
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  • This current situation to keep these people alive."
  • 00:10:33.122 --> 00:10:37.126
  • Secondly, forgiveness is not surrendering our desire
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  • For justice.
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  • Romans 12:19, "never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave
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  • Room for the wrath of god, for it is written, 'vengeance is
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  • Mine, i will repay,' says the lord."
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  • We're to give up our desire to settle the score, to hurt others
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  • For hurting us, but we can never give up our desire for justice.
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  • What is justice?
  • 00:11:03.285 --> 00:11:04.653
  • Justice is the payment god or others might demand from those
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  • Who have hurt us.
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  • We can give up vengeance, we can never give up justice.
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  • We don't want to give up justice.
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  • We're created in the image of a just god.
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  • The reason we want people to pay for what they've done is not
  • 00:11:20.636 --> 00:11:24.507
  • Because we're unlike god, it's because we're like god.
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  • Listen to psalm 82, verse 3. "vindicate the weak and the
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  • Fatherless; do justice to the afflicted and the destitute.
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  • Learn to do good; seek justice, reprove the ruthless."
  • 00:11:36.685 --> 00:11:40.756
  • Isaiah 1:17 says, "i give up my desire for vengeance.
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  • I don't give up my desire for justice."
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  • Justice is letting god settle the score.
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  • By the way, one way god settles the score is through government,
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  • Through the legal system.
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  • That's why capitol punishment is something god commands.
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  • It's his way of exacting justice.
  • 00:12:01.710 --> 00:12:04.313
  • In romans 13, verse 4, paul said, "government is a minister
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  • Of god, an avenger who brings wrath on the one who
  • 00:12:08.884 --> 00:12:13.656
  • Practices evil."
  • 00:12:13.656 --> 00:12:15.691
  • The reason this is important to understand is, a lot of people
  • 00:12:15.691 --> 00:12:19.595
  • Don't forgive because they think, "well, if i forgive, i'm
  • 00:12:19.595 --> 00:12:23.165
  • Surrendering my desire for justice."
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  • No, not at all.
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  • Thirdly, forgiveness is not forgetting offenses.
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  • He no longer holds our sin against us, why?
  • 00:12:31.807 --> 00:12:35.077
  • It's not because he's overlooked our sin.
  • 00:12:35.077 --> 00:12:37.213
  • A lot of people think, well, god forgiving means he just plays
  • 00:12:37.213 --> 00:12:40.115
  • Like it never happened, he overlooks it.
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  • A holy god cannot do that.
  • 00:12:42.551 --> 00:12:44.286
  • The old testament says, "god cannot overlook the sins of
  • 00:12:44.286 --> 00:12:47.723
  • The unrighteous."
  • 00:12:47.723 --> 00:12:49.491
  • No, what god does to our sin is he marks our sin "paid in full."
  • 00:12:49.491 --> 00:12:56.332
  • That's exactly what happened on the cross of jesus christ.
  • 00:12:56.332 --> 00:13:00.135
  • Remember paul's words in colossians 2, verses 13 and 14,
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  • "god, having forgiven us of all of our transgressions, having
  • 00:13:04.907 --> 00:13:09.178
  • Canceled out the certificate of debt consisting of decrees
  • 00:13:09.178 --> 00:13:13.415
  • Against us, which were hostile to us; he has taken it out of
  • 00:13:13.415 --> 00:13:17.052
  • The way, having nailed it to the cross."
  • 00:13:17.052 --> 00:13:20.289
  • Look, god is holy, he is just.
  • 00:13:20.289 --> 00:13:22.625
  • He cannot overlook sin.
  • 00:13:22.625 --> 00:13:24.593
  • Somebody has to pay for my sin, and that someone who's paid is
  • 00:13:24.593 --> 00:13:29.031
  • Jesus christ.
  • 00:13:29.031 --> 00:13:30.399
  • In paul's day, if you were put into prison, above your prison
  • 00:13:30.399 --> 00:13:33.769
  • Cell was listed a certificate of debt showing the offenses you
  • 00:13:33.769 --> 00:13:37.907
  • Committed that landed you in prison.
  • 00:13:37.907 --> 00:13:41.277
  • We have a certificate of debt, things we have done deserving of
  • 00:13:41.277 --> 00:13:45.314
  • God's punishment, but when we trust in jesus to be our savior,
  • 00:13:45.314 --> 00:13:49.718
  • The bible says god takes that certificate of debt that lists
  • 00:13:49.718 --> 00:13:53.122
  • All of our offenses, and what did god do with it?
  • 00:13:53.122 --> 00:13:55.791
  • "he nailed it to the cross of jesus christ."
  • 00:13:55.791 --> 00:13:59.061
  • Remember what jesus said in the cross?
  • 00:13:59.061 --> 00:14:01.363
  • "it is finished," literally "tetelestai" in greek, "paid
  • 00:14:01.363 --> 00:14:06.936
  • In full."
  • 00:14:06.936 --> 00:14:10.039
  • No, forgiveness is not about forgetting, we can't forget.
  • 00:14:10.039 --> 00:14:15.177
  • Fourth, forgiveness is not about reconciling with other people,
  • 00:14:15.177 --> 00:14:20.482
  • And this is what trips a lot of people up.
  • 00:14:20.482 --> 00:14:23.285
  • They think forgiveness always results in reconciliation.
  • 00:14:23.285 --> 00:14:27.189
  • And, "if i have to be reconciled to that numbskull, i am not
  • 00:14:27.189 --> 00:14:31.260
  • Gonna forgive them."
  • 00:14:31.260 --> 00:14:33.128
  • I mean, seriously, here's a woman who's been physically
  • 00:14:33.128 --> 00:14:36.865
  • Abused by her husband, and rightly, she moves out of the
  • 00:14:36.865 --> 00:14:40.836
  • House to protect herself or her children.
  • 00:14:40.836 --> 00:14:44.540
  • And she hears some pastor talking about forgiveness, and
  • 00:14:44.540 --> 00:14:48.477
  • She thinks, "i can forgive him, but does that mean i have to
  • 00:14:48.477 --> 00:14:52.047
  • Move back into the house and threaten my own life or the life
  • 00:14:52.047 --> 00:14:55.818
  • Of my children?"
  • 00:14:55.818 --> 00:14:57.186
  • You can understand why she would be reluctant to do that.
  • 00:14:57.186 --> 00:15:00.856
  • But forgiveness and reconciliation are not the
  • 00:15:00.856 --> 00:15:03.425
  • Same thing.
  • 00:15:03.425 --> 00:15:04.793
  • Forgiveness has no strings attached to it.
  • 00:15:04.793 --> 00:15:07.296
  • Reconciliation has a number of strings attached to it.
  • 00:15:07.296 --> 00:15:12.167
  • In summary, remember these differences between forgiveness
  • 00:15:12.167 --> 00:15:15.437
  • And reconciliation: forgiveness has no conditions,
  • 00:15:15.437 --> 00:15:19.742
  • Reconciliation has several conditions.
  • 00:15:19.742 --> 00:15:23.312
  • Secondly, forgiveness can be offered to those who never admit
  • 00:15:23.312 --> 00:15:26.582
  • They're wrong.
  • 00:15:26.582 --> 00:15:27.950
  • Reconciliation can be offered only to those who admit
  • 00:15:27.950 --> 00:15:31.253
  • They're wrong.
  • 00:15:31.253 --> 00:15:32.788
  • Thirdly, forgiveness depends upon me, but reconciliation
  • 00:15:32.788 --> 00:15:37.760
  • Depends upon us.
  • 00:15:37.760 --> 00:15:40.329
  • "well, you've talked about what forgiveness isn't, what is
  • 00:15:40.329 --> 00:15:43.999
  • Authentic forgiveness?"
  • 00:15:43.999 --> 00:15:47.136
  • I grew up hearing my parents argue, occasionally.
  • 00:15:47.136 --> 00:15:51.607
  • Did you ever have parents who argued?
  • 00:15:51.607 --> 00:15:54.143
  • And a source of argument with my parents was money.
  • 00:15:54.143 --> 00:15:57.813
  • Have you ever noticed, in a marriage, there was usually a
  • 00:15:57.813 --> 00:16:00.049
  • Spender and a saver, and they get unequally yoked together,
  • 00:16:00.049 --> 00:16:04.520
  • Sometimes, and there's friction.
  • 00:16:04.520 --> 00:16:05.921
  • And i remember hearing my dad say to my mom, "if you keep on
  • 00:16:05.921 --> 00:16:09.792
  • Spending, you're gonna spend us into the poor house."
  • 00:16:09.792 --> 00:16:13.996
  • Now, i remember, as a little boy, wondering what a
  • 00:16:13.996 --> 00:16:16.465
  • "poorhouse" was.
  • 00:16:16.465 --> 00:16:18.233
  • I've never seen a poorhouse, i couldn't imagine what it was
  • 00:16:18.233 --> 00:16:21.503
  • Like, but i sure knew i never wanted to go there, to
  • 00:16:21.503 --> 00:16:24.273
  • A poorhouse.
  • 00:16:24.273 --> 00:16:25.774
  • Well, what a poorhouse was, what my dad was alluding to, was
  • 00:16:25.774 --> 00:16:29.178
  • Something that existed hundreds of years before, called "the
  • 00:16:29.178 --> 00:16:33.549
  • Debtor's prison."
  • 00:16:33.549 --> 00:16:35.317
  • There was a time in our country's history that, if you
  • 00:16:35.317 --> 00:16:37.820
  • Couldn't pay your bills, you went to prison.
  • 00:16:37.820 --> 00:16:40.355
  • That really didn't make a lot of sense, to go to a debtor's
  • 00:16:40.355 --> 00:16:43.425
  • Prison, because a person who goes to a debtor prison, he
  • 00:16:43.425 --> 00:16:47.062
  • Can't earn any money in the prison, so he ends up
  • 00:16:47.062 --> 00:16:50.666
  • Dying there.
  • 00:16:50.666 --> 00:16:52.034
  • He can't support his family while he's in prison, so
  • 00:16:52.034 --> 00:16:54.303
  • They starve.
  • 00:16:54.303 --> 00:16:55.671
  • And if that's not enough, the person who holds the debt, goes
  • 00:16:55.671 --> 00:16:58.307
  • Unpaid, because there's no money to give to him.
  • 00:16:58.307 --> 00:17:02.010
  • That is, i think, an unspoken motivation for why that king
  • 00:17:02.010 --> 00:17:07.483
  • Forgave that $16 billion debt.
  • 00:17:07.483 --> 00:17:11.186
  • Why not have that slave thrown into debtor's prison?
  • 00:17:11.186 --> 00:17:15.591
  • Because he knew he had an account receivable that
  • 00:17:15.591 --> 00:17:18.994
  • Was worthless.
  • 00:17:18.994 --> 00:17:20.462
  • He knew that that slave could never pay him the $16 billion
  • 00:17:20.462 --> 00:17:24.700
  • And, if he threw him into prison, he would never be able
  • 00:17:24.700 --> 00:17:27.769
  • To repay him.
  • 00:17:27.769 --> 00:17:30.606
  • So what did he do?
  • 00:17:30.606 --> 00:17:32.141
  • Again, verse 27 of matthew 18 says, "the lord of that slave
  • 00:17:32.141 --> 00:17:36.378
  • Felt compassion and released him and forgave him of the debt."
  • 00:17:36.378 --> 00:17:41.850
  • And there you see the three components of
  • 00:17:41.850 --> 00:17:44.219
  • Authentic forgiveness.
  • 00:17:44.219 --> 00:17:45.921
  • Quickly, genuine forgiveness acknowledges the offense.
  • 00:17:45.921 --> 00:17:51.493
  • Notice, twice in this parable, you hear the word "owed."
  • 00:17:51.493 --> 00:17:55.364
  • The slave owed the king.
  • 00:17:55.364 --> 00:17:58.500
  • The second slave owed the first slave.
  • 00:17:58.500 --> 00:18:02.938
  • This wasn't an imaginary debt, this was a very real debt that
  • 00:18:02.938 --> 00:18:06.675
  • Was owed.
  • 00:18:06.675 --> 00:18:08.010
  • Remember, you can't forgive those you're not willing
  • 00:18:08.010 --> 00:18:10.345
  • To blame.
  • 00:18:10.345 --> 00:18:11.713
  • Secondly, genuine forgiveness calculates the debt.
  • 00:18:11.713 --> 00:18:15.250
  • It not only acknowledges the debt, it calculates the debt.
  • 00:18:15.250 --> 00:18:19.821
  • Before we can forgive somebody, we need to know exactly what
  • 00:18:19.821 --> 00:18:23.225
  • We're forgiving them of.
  • 00:18:23.225 --> 00:18:26.028
  • For example, joseph said to his brothers, "come near and do
  • 00:18:26.028 --> 00:18:32.301
  • Not fear."
  • 00:18:32.301 --> 00:18:34.036
  • Why did he say "don't fear?"
  • 00:18:34.036 --> 00:18:35.604
  • Because they had every right to fear, they deserved to lose
  • 00:18:35.604 --> 00:18:38.273
  • Their life over what had happened.
  • 00:18:38.273 --> 00:18:41.276
  • The same way with your offender, determine what they owe for what
  • 00:18:41.276 --> 00:18:45.814
  • They've done to you.
  • 00:18:45.814 --> 00:18:47.182
  • They might deserve divorce, they might deserve prison, they may
  • 00:18:47.182 --> 00:18:51.853
  • Deserve even death.
  • 00:18:51.853 --> 00:18:53.855
  • But you can't forgive a debt until you calculate what that
  • 00:18:53.855 --> 00:18:57.893
  • Debt is.
  • 00:18:57.893 --> 00:18:59.228
  • In jesus's parable, it was a specific debt, 10,000 talents,
  • 00:18:59.228 --> 00:19:03.131
  • 100 denarii.
  • 00:19:03.131 --> 00:19:04.933
  • Figure out what the person owes you before you forgive them.
  • 00:19:04.933 --> 00:19:09.037
  • Genuine forgiveness calculates the debt.
  • 00:19:09.037 --> 00:19:11.773
  • And thirdly, genuine forgiveness releases our debtor to god.
  • 00:19:11.773 --> 00:19:18.180
  • Remember that first slave?
  • 00:19:18.180 --> 00:19:20.115
  • He found the guy who owed him $16 and what he did-- what did
  • 00:19:20.115 --> 00:19:23.952
  • He do?
  • 00:19:23.952 --> 00:19:25.287
  • He grabbed him, choked him, and would not let him go.
  • 00:19:25.287 --> 00:19:30.726
  • Perfect picture of unforgiveness.
  • 00:19:30.726 --> 00:19:33.061
  • Unforgiveness refuses to let go.
  • 00:19:33.061 --> 00:19:37.366
  • You know, the question i'm asked most often about forgiveness is
  • 00:19:37.366 --> 00:19:41.436
  • This, "can i forgive somebody who never says, 'i'm sorry,' who
  • 00:19:41.436 --> 00:19:46.475
  • Never asked for my forgiveness?"
  • 00:19:46.475 --> 00:19:48.844
  • And the answer is "yes," not only can you, you must.
  • 00:19:48.844 --> 00:19:53.415
  • Jesus said, in mark 11:25, "whenever you stand praying,
  • 00:19:53.415 --> 00:19:59.087
  • Forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your
  • 00:19:59.087 --> 00:20:02.891
  • Father who is in heaven might forgive you of
  • 00:20:02.891 --> 00:20:05.894
  • Your transgressions."
  • 00:20:05.894 --> 00:20:07.629
  • Now, some people get this mixed up with jesus's words in matthew
  • 00:20:07.629 --> 00:20:11.433
  • 6, another passage, in which he says, "if you're worshiping and
  • 00:20:11.433 --> 00:20:15.003
  • You remember that your brother has something against you, leave
  • 00:20:15.003 --> 00:20:20.108
  • Your sacrifice, leave the worship service, go out and be
  • 00:20:20.108 --> 00:20:23.412
  • Reconciled to your brother."
  • 00:20:23.412 --> 00:20:25.180
  • But that's not the case he's talking about mark 11.
  • 00:20:25.180 --> 00:20:27.783
  • He's saying you're singing a hymn in church, or you're
  • 00:20:27.783 --> 00:20:30.686
  • Listening to the pastor talk about forgiveness, and you
  • 00:20:30.686 --> 00:20:33.655
  • Suddenly remember you've got something against somebody else.
  • 00:20:33.655 --> 00:20:38.260
  • What are you supposed to do?
  • 00:20:38.260 --> 00:20:40.595
  • You don't walk out of the church.
  • 00:20:40.595 --> 00:20:43.865
  • Right there in your pew, you let go of it.
  • 00:20:43.865 --> 00:20:47.569
  • You forgive your brother or sister.
  • 00:20:47.569 --> 00:20:50.772
  • You don't have to have a conversation with them.
  • 00:20:50.772 --> 00:20:53.108
  • You don't have to confront them.
  • 00:20:53.108 --> 00:20:55.210
  • They may be not even living close by.
  • 00:20:55.210 --> 00:20:58.313
  • They could be in another city, state, country, or they may be
  • 00:20:58.313 --> 00:21:01.483
  • In the cemetery.
  • 00:21:01.483 --> 00:21:03.385
  • But you don't need them.
  • 00:21:03.385 --> 00:21:04.753
  • You can unilaterally forgive.
  • 00:21:04.753 --> 00:21:08.757
  • "why should i do that?"
  • 00:21:08.757 --> 00:21:10.659
  • Because of the consequences of not forgiving.
  • 00:21:10.659 --> 00:21:13.295
  • You will never be free from that hurt until you separate yourself
  • 00:21:13.295 --> 00:21:18.633
  • From it.
  • 00:21:18.633 --> 00:21:19.968
  • You know, often think of the analogy of a three-legged race.
  • 00:21:19.968 --> 00:21:23.739
  • Have you ever been to one of those old town-- old timey
  • 00:21:23.739 --> 00:21:27.943
  • Picnics, old fashioned picnics, and seen the three-legged race?
  • 00:21:27.943 --> 00:21:32.748
  • You voluntarily tie your leg to the leg of your partner and,
  • 00:21:32.748 --> 00:21:37.552
  • Together, you hobble toward the finish line and people laugh
  • 00:21:37.552 --> 00:21:41.289
  • Because it's so ludicrous.
  • 00:21:41.289 --> 00:21:43.325
  • And if you've ever done one of those three-legged races, you
  • 00:21:43.325 --> 00:21:46.928
  • Probably had the same sensation i have, you know, "if only i
  • 00:21:46.928 --> 00:21:50.298
  • Could get free from this idiot, i could go a lot faster and win
  • 00:21:50.298 --> 00:21:54.336
  • The contest."
  • 00:21:54.336 --> 00:21:55.704
  • But you see, three-legged races don't allow for solo contenders.
  • 00:21:55.704 --> 00:22:01.009
  • You can never travel any faster, or farther, than the person you
  • 00:22:01.009 --> 00:22:05.313
  • Are bound to.
  • 00:22:05.313 --> 00:22:07.416
  • When you refuse to forgive somebody, you're emotionally
  • 00:22:07.416 --> 00:22:10.685
  • Bound to that other person.
  • 00:22:10.685 --> 00:22:13.221
  • You can go no farther, or faster, in life than he or she
  • 00:22:13.221 --> 00:22:17.058
  • Is willing to go, when you make your forgiveness depending on
  • 00:22:17.058 --> 00:22:20.762
  • What they do.
  • 00:22:20.762 --> 00:22:22.397
  • But forgiveness is the way we separate ourselves from
  • 00:22:22.397 --> 00:22:25.133
  • Our offender.
  • 00:22:25.133 --> 00:22:26.501
  • It's a way that we say, "god, what this person did to me
  • 00:22:26.501 --> 00:22:29.738
  • Was wrong.
  • 00:22:29.738 --> 00:22:31.106
  • They deserve to pay for it, you deal with it.
  • 00:22:31.106 --> 00:22:34.843
  • I'm letting go so i can be free to get on with my life."
  • 00:22:34.843 --> 00:22:41.550
  • Lewis smedes said it best, "when we forgive, we set a prisoner
  • 00:22:41.550 --> 00:22:47.722
  • Free and the prisoner we set free is us."
  • 00:22:47.722 --> 00:22:53.462
  • ♪♪♪
  • 00:22:53.462 --> 00:22:59.301
  • Jeffress: in this moment of reflection, perhaps you've come
  • 00:22:59.301 --> 00:23:01.970
  • To realize that your offender has held you in bondage,
  • 00:23:01.970 --> 00:23:05.540
  • Long enough.
  • 00:23:05.540 --> 00:23:06.975
  • Release that offense and begin living in the freedom
  • 00:23:06.975 --> 00:23:10.545
  • God intended.
  • 00:23:10.545 --> 00:23:12.614
  • In closing, i wanna say a word of thanks to our valued "pathway
  • 00:23:12.614 --> 00:23:16.551
  • Partners," today.
  • 00:23:16.551 --> 00:23:18.086
  • This circle of friends give a generous gift every month, and
  • 00:23:18.086 --> 00:23:22.224
  • Their consistent gifts are reaping eternal rewards.
  • 00:23:22.224 --> 00:23:26.161
  • For example, i heard from a college student who said, "i was
  • 00:23:26.161 --> 00:23:29.831
  • Listening to a christian station as i was driving out of town
  • 00:23:29.831 --> 00:23:33.768
  • About an hour-and-a-half away.
  • 00:23:33.768 --> 00:23:35.837
  • I started to lose the signal, so i turned around and pulled over
  • 00:23:35.837 --> 00:23:39.908
  • So i could finish your message, and what i heard was
  • 00:23:39.908 --> 00:23:43.144
  • Truly beautiful.
  • 00:23:43.144 --> 00:23:44.880
  • I needed to hear in that moment what jesus was saying to me,
  • 00:23:44.880 --> 00:23:49.251
  • That he is the only way to salvation."
  • 00:23:49.251 --> 00:23:51.720
  • Well, thank you for that testimony.
  • 00:23:52.687 --> 00:23:54.923
  • And friends, thank you for your generous support of "pathway to
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  • Victory" and thanks, especially, to our "pathway partners" who
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  • Give a monthly gift to support the ministry of "pathway
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  • To victory."
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  • Now, please stay right there.
  • 00:24:07.435 --> 00:24:08.803
  • I'll be back with more in just a moment.
  • 00:24:08.803 --> 00:24:11.640
  • Announcer: if a friend or one of your children came up to you
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  • 00:24:15.410 --> 00:24:17.612
  • Is the right religion?"
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  • 00:24:19.180 --> 00:24:21.950
  • We'd like to send you a book from dr. robert jeffress
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  • Containing answers to life's seven most important questions.
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  • It's titled "how can i know?"
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  • Jeffress: if we're honest, every one of us has questions
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  • About our faith, questions like:
  • 00:24:33.428 --> 00:24:35.330
  • How can i know the bible is true?
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  • Or: how can i know god exists?
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  • In my book "how can i know?"
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  • I tackle seven important questions and provide
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  • Biblically-based answers
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  • You can embrace with confidence.
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  • Announcer: seven straightforward answers
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  • To seven pressing questions.
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  • The book "how can i know?"
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  • Jeffress: it's not a sin to have doubts.
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  • Sometimes doubt is a prerequisite to genuine faith.
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  • Announcer: thank you for investing financially
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  • Biblical teaching of god's word.
  • 00:25:37.058 --> 00:25:39.361
  • Jeffress: right now, it's possible you're thinking about a
  • 00:25:42.664 --> 00:25:45.433
  • Spouse, a parent, or a child who has wronged you.
  • 00:25:45.433 --> 00:25:49.938
  • Yes, what they did to you was wrong and hurtful, but because
  • 00:25:49.938 --> 00:25:53.808
  • We've experienced god's amazing forgiveness, we can release our
  • 00:25:53.808 --> 00:25:58.246
  • Pain and let god deal with our offender.
  • 00:25:58.246 --> 00:26:01.750
  • Well, as much as we try, every one of us makes mistakes.
  • 00:26:01.750 --> 00:26:05.754
  • So is there any way to recover from major blunders in our life?
  • 00:26:05.754 --> 00:26:10.358
  • Stay tuned for a preview of what's coming up next in our
  • 00:26:10.358 --> 00:26:13.128
  • Series, "how can i know?"
  • 00:26:13.128 --> 00:26:16.364
  • Jeffress: well, i've got some bad news and some good news
  • 00:26:16.431 --> 00:26:19.668
  • For you.
  • 00:26:19.668 --> 00:26:21.202
  • The bad news is, life has no rewind button on it.
  • 00:26:21.202 --> 00:26:25.974
  • You can't erase the past.
  • 00:26:25.974 --> 00:26:28.209
  • That's the bad news.
  • 00:26:28.209 --> 00:26:29.844
  • The good news is, your failure doesn't have to be the final
  • 00:26:29.844 --> 00:26:33.882
  • Chapter of your life.
  • 00:26:33.882 --> 00:26:35.984
  • God says you can have a new beginning.
  • 00:26:35.984 --> 00:26:40.021
  • Male announcer: set your dvr and join us, next time, for the
  • 00:26:40.088 --> 00:26:42.490
  • Message, "how can i know how to start over when i've blown it?"
  • 00:26:42.490 --> 00:26:46.428
  • Here on "pathway to victory."
  • 00:26:46.428 --> 00:26:47.996
  • Announcer: join dr. robert jeffress on
  • 00:26:50.899 --> 00:26:52.701
  • "pathway to victory's" journeys of paul mediterranean cruise.
  • 00:26:52.701 --> 00:26:56.037
  • Jeffress: i want to take you to the very places where god's word
  • 00:26:56.104 --> 00:26:59.574
  • Was written and seek the one who sought us first in his creation.
  • 00:26:59.574 --> 00:27:04.479
  • Announcer: experience world-class accommodations
  • 00:27:04.479 --> 00:27:06.347
  • Aboard the luxurious, "celebrity ascent" in beautiful island
  • 00:27:06.347 --> 00:27:10.018
  • Destinations like santorini, mykonos, and crete.
  • 00:27:10.018 --> 00:27:13.288
  • To book your reservation now, call...
  • 00:27:13.288 --> 00:27:17.959
  • Or visit ptv.org.
  • 00:27:17.959 --> 00:27:27.235