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Dr. Robert Jeffress

Robert Jeffress - Say Goodbye To Marital Regrets

May 20, 2025 | 27:29

Robert Jeffress - Say Goodbye To Marital Regrets
Pathway to Victory offers a practical application of God’s Word to everyday life through the clear, biblical teaching of Pastor Jeffress.
#Relationships #Marriage #Religion #Plan #Dr.RobertJeffress #RobertJeffress #Regret #Divorce #Husband #Wife #HandofGod

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Dr. Robert Jeffress | Robert Jeffress - Say Goodbye To Marital Regrets | May 20, 2025
  • ...
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  • ♪♪♪
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  • Male announcer: from the pulpit of the first baptist church of
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  • Dallas, texas, this is "pathway to victory"
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  • With dr. robert jeffress.
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  • Dr. robert jeffress: hi, i'm robert jeffress and welcome
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  • Again to "pathway to victory."
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  • No relationship is more intimate and more sacred than the
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  • Lifelong commitment you make to your spouse.
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  • And while weddings are filled with joy and celebration, most
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  • Couples find the day to day realities to be far more
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  • Challenging than they anticipated.
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  • Today, i'm going to outline four decisions you can make right now
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  • To help rekindle the flame in your marriage.
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  • My message is titled, "say goodbye to marital regrets" on
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  • Today's edition of "pathway to victory."
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  • ♪♪♪
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  • Announcer: god doesn't want you to carry around the weight of
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  • Sins he's already forgiven.
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  • In his bestselling book, "say goodbye to regret," dr. robert
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  • Jeffress helps you live beyond the would-haves, could-haves,
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  • And should-haves to embrace the future god has planned for you.
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  • You can't undo the past, but there's plenty you can do to
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  • Reshape tomorrow and eternity.
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  • Discover the biblical secrets for regret-free living when you
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  • Request the book, "say goodbye to regret."
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  • Thank you for giving generously to "pathway to victory."
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  • ♪♪♪
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  • Jeffress: i wanna ask you who are married a very personal and
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  • Revealing question.
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  • If you were to lose your mate suddenly through divorce or
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  • Through death, would you have any regrets about your marriage?
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  • Perhaps you would look back on a heated argument you had with
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  • Your mate and, trying to gain the upper hand, you grabbed that
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  • Dagger, that insult, that criticism that you knew would
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  • Cut deepest into your mate's heart.
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  • And though you would try to apologize later for that
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  • Comment, your marriage was never the same after it.
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  • Maybe, as you think about regrets, you would think about
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  • That quality in your mate that first drew you to him or her,
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  • But you spent the rest of your marriage trying to fix--always
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  • Trying to fix your mate.
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  • Maybe you would think about missed opportunities you had to
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  • Spend together.
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  • "we were having such a great time in the mountains,
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  • Why did we feel like we had to rush home?
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  • Or why did we think it was necessary to have every dish
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  • Cleaned before we could take a walk after supper together?"
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  • Maybe for some of you, you would think back on an extramarital
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  • Relationship that changed the dynamics of your
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  • Marriage forever.
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  • Any kind of separation--the separation from a mate because
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  • Of death or divorce always causes grief.
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  • But that grief is compounded when it's mixed with regrets.
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  • I think about the story of abraham and the death of his
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  • Wife, sarah.
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  • It's recorded in genesis 23, verses 1 and 2, "now sarah lived
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  • 127 years; these were the years of the life of sarah.
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  • Sarah died in hebron in the land of canaan; and abraham went into
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  • The sepulcher," the grave, "to mourn for sarah and to weep
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  • For her."
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  • He wept because of the death of his wife, certainly because they
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  • Had been married together for 60 years, but i think part of his
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  • Grief was because of regrets he felt about the relationship.
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  • He remembered that situation with hagar that destroyed the
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  • Spirit of their marriage.
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  • He thought about, not just once but twice, that he had placed
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  • His own welfare, his own safety above the safety of sarah.
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  • You know, the fact is we cannot eliminate grief that comes from
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  • The death or divorce of a mate, but we can diminish that grief
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  • By committing to four decisions that lead to what i call a
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  • Regret-free marriage and that's what we're going to look
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  • At today.
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  • As we continue our series, "say goodbye to regret," we're going
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  • To talk about how to say goodbye to regrets about our most
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  • Important relationship in life, the relationship with our mate.
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  • If you have your bibles, turn to genesis chapter 2.
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  • Genesis chapter 2
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  • And then be ready to turn to matthew chapter 19.
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  • Of the most foundational decision we can make to
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  • Eliminate regrets in our marriage--the most foundational
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  • Decision is this: i will not divorce my mate.
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  • I will not divorce my mate.
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  • Let me tell you from the perspective of a pastor of more
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  • Than 40 years what i've seen about divorce and remarriage.
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  • I've seen that divorce and remarriage do not
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  • Eliminate problems.
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  • Why is that such an important decision?
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  • Why does god place an emphasis on that commitment to
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  • Remain married?
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  • Well, jesus explained why in the passage we read from in
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  • Matthew 19.
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  • In verse 3, matthew records, "some pharisees came to jesus,
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  • Testing him and asking, 'is it lawful for a man to divorce his
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  • Wife for any reason at all?'"
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  • Divorce was a hot topic of debate in jesus's day.
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  • Half of the jews followed a rabbi named hillel who said you
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  • Can divorce for any reason, whatever.
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  • Your wife burns the toast?
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  • Get rid of her, you don't have to put up with that.
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  • Any reason at all, divorce your mate.
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  • Another half of the jews followed after another rabbi
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  • Named shammai who said you can't divorce for any reason
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  • Except adultery.
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  • So, the pharisees, wanting to discredit jesus, said, "okay,
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  • Which one do you choose, jesus?
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  • Which rabbi do you choose?"
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  • That's gonna guarantee you lose 50% of your followers, whichever
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  • One you mentioned.
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  • Jesus was too smart to answer that way.
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  • Instead, he said, "let's go back to the original marriage to
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  • Answer the question about divorce."
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  • And that's what he did in verse 4, "and jesus answered and said,
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  • 'have you not read,'" you pharisees claim to know the
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  • Scriptures backwards and forwards, let's see what the
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  • Scripture says.
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  • "'have you not read that he who created them from the beginning
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  • Made them male and female,' and said, 'for this reason a man
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  • Shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his
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  • Wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?"
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  • That was a quotation from genesis 2 and jesus concluded,
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  • "so they are no longer two but one flesh.
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  • What god has joined together, let no man separate."
  • 00:07:09.274 --> 00:07:13.645
  • Notice the three principles about marriage that explain why
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  • Jesus is against divorce.
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  • First of all, marriage is uniquely designed by god.
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  • That is, each person in a marriage relationship is
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  • Tailor-made, custom-made, by god to perfectly fit the
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  • Other partner.
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  • That's what verse 4 is about.
  • 00:07:32.797 --> 00:07:34.165
  • "and jesus answered and said, 'have you not read that he who
  • 00:07:34.165 --> 00:07:38.670
  • Created them from the beginning made them male and female?'"
  • 00:07:38.670 --> 00:07:44.643
  • And that helps answer the divorce question, do
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  • You understand?
  • 00:07:46.645 --> 00:07:47.979
  • First of all, marriage is uniquely designed by god, every
  • 00:07:47.979 --> 00:07:50.849
  • Mate is custom-made for the other one.
  • 00:07:50.849 --> 00:07:53.118
  • "secondly," jesus said, "marriage creates an
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  • Unbreakable bond."
  • 00:07:55.954 --> 00:07:58.290
  • When you marry, you create an unbreakable bond with the
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  • Other person.
  • 00:08:01.626 --> 00:08:02.961
  • Verse 5, matthew 19, "for this reason a man shall leave his
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  • Father and mother and be joined together to his wife, and the
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  • Two shall become one flesh."
  • 00:08:11.970 --> 00:08:15.974
  • There's the word, cleave.
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  • A man shall leave his father and mother.
  • 00:08:17.876 --> 00:08:20.211
  • He wasn't just talking about adam and eve.
  • 00:08:20.211 --> 00:08:22.380
  • In fact, adam and eve didn't have a father and mother
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  • To leave.
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  • This is a principle for all of us, moses said and jesus
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  • Repeated, we shall leave our mother and father and cleave to
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  • One another.
  • 00:08:32.324 --> 00:08:33.692
  • That word cleave means to create an unbreakable bond.
  • 00:08:33.692 --> 00:08:37.128
  • Interestingly, it's the same word that is used in ruth
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  • Chapter 1.
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  • Remember in the old testament, the story of ruth and
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  • Her mother-in-law, naomi?
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  • Both naomi and ruth lost their husbands and so naomi said to
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  • Her newly widowed daughter-in-law ruth and another
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  • Daughter-in-law orpha, he said to them--or naomi said to them,
  • 00:08:59.250 --> 00:09:08.093
  • "now that you're single, now that you're widowed, go back and
  • 00:09:08.093 --> 00:09:13.298
  • Find another mate in your home country.
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  • Our relationship is over."
  • 00:09:15.266 --> 00:09:17.602
  • Verse 14 of ruth 1, "and they lifted up their voices and wept
  • 00:09:17.602 --> 00:09:22.207
  • Again and orpah kissed her mother-in-law."
  • 00:09:22.207 --> 00:09:26.244
  • In other words, she was saying, "i'm out of here, i'm gone."
  • 00:09:26.244 --> 00:09:29.214
  • But ruth clung to her mother-in-law.
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  • There's that word cleave, there was an unbreakable bond.
  • 00:09:33.118 --> 00:09:36.788
  • And ruth said, "'do not urge me to leave you or to turn back
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  • From following you; for where you go, i will go and
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  • You're--where where you lodge, i will lodge.
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  • And your people shall be my people, and your god, my god.
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  • When you die, i will die, and there i will be buried.
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  • Thus, may the lord do to me, and worse, if anything but death
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  • Parts you and me."
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  • Those of us in the room who were married by dr. criswell
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  • Remember these words.
  • 00:10:05.050 --> 00:10:06.885
  • He would use it in every wedding ceremony because it was a
  • 00:10:06.885 --> 00:10:10.188
  • Picture of the commitment that a husband and wife make, that
  • 00:10:10.188 --> 00:10:13.591
  • Unbreakable bond, that cleaving.
  • 00:10:13.591 --> 00:10:16.728
  • And, unfortunately, today many people don't understand that
  • 00:10:16.728 --> 00:10:19.497
  • Unbreakable bond.
  • 00:10:19.497 --> 00:10:22.801
  • The husband gets an offer of a new job.
  • 00:10:22.801 --> 00:10:25.203
  • He says, "family, i think it's god's will for me to move and us
  • 00:10:25.203 --> 00:10:29.674
  • To move."
  • 00:10:29.674 --> 00:10:31.009
  • And the wife says, "well, you can move if you want to, but i'm
  • 00:10:31.009 --> 00:10:32.877
  • Not about to uproot our family and put them in a new school, a
  • 00:10:32.877 --> 00:10:35.947
  • New city we don't know about."
  • 00:10:35.947 --> 00:10:39.084
  • What a different spirit that is than, "wherever you go, i will
  • 00:10:39.084 --> 00:10:43.388
  • Go, wherever you lodge, i will lodge."
  • 00:10:43.388 --> 00:10:46.825
  • Or a wife says, "i just can't stand your in-laws any longer."
  • 00:10:46.825 --> 00:10:51.963
  • Her husband says, "i can't stand your parents any longer," and
  • 00:10:51.963 --> 00:10:55.266
  • They separate over in-law conflicts.
  • 00:10:55.266 --> 00:10:58.536
  • Again, what a far cry that is from the pledge, "your people
  • 00:10:58.536 --> 00:11:02.507
  • Shall be my people, your god shall be my god."
  • 00:11:02.507 --> 00:11:06.811
  • This word, cleave, means to have an unbreakable bond with
  • 00:11:06.811 --> 00:11:10.415
  • Another person.
  • 00:11:10.415 --> 00:11:11.750
  • Interestingly, in hebrew it's the same word that describes our
  • 00:11:11.750 --> 00:11:14.953
  • Relationship with god.
  • 00:11:14.953 --> 00:11:16.755
  • In deuteronomy 10:20 god said, "you shall fear the lord, your
  • 00:11:16.755 --> 00:11:21.192
  • God; you shall serve him, and you shall cleave to him, and you
  • 00:11:21.192 --> 00:11:26.531
  • Shall swear by his name."
  • 00:11:26.531 --> 00:11:28.733
  • We are to cleave to god.
  • 00:11:28.733 --> 00:11:30.368
  • Does god say to us, "i want you to serve me with all of your
  • 00:11:30.368 --> 00:11:33.271
  • Heart, but if you find another god you love more than you love
  • 00:11:33.271 --> 00:11:37.609
  • Me, you're free to serve that god as well"?
  • 00:11:37.609 --> 00:11:40.111
  • No, you are to serve god and no others.
  • 00:11:40.111 --> 00:11:43.581
  • You're to cleave to him and him alone.
  • 00:11:43.581 --> 00:11:46.251
  • Jesus said that is the same kind of bond in a
  • 00:11:46.251 --> 00:11:49.454
  • Marriage relationship.
  • 00:11:49.454 --> 00:11:51.556
  • Every marriage is designed by god, our mates are custom-made
  • 00:11:51.556 --> 00:11:55.460
  • By god.
  • 00:11:55.460 --> 00:11:56.795
  • Not only that, marriage creates an unbreakable bond.
  • 00:11:56.795 --> 00:11:59.931
  • And then he gives a third reason: we're not to divorce.
  • 00:11:59.931 --> 00:12:05.203
  • Every marriage is orchestrated by god.
  • 00:12:05.203 --> 00:12:08.039
  • Look at verse 6, "so they are no longer two, but one flesh.
  • 00:12:08.039 --> 00:12:13.678
  • What therefore god has joined together, let no man separate."
  • 00:12:13.678 --> 00:12:19.083
  • Did you know god is the divine matchmaker?
  • 00:12:19.083 --> 00:12:21.686
  • He's the one who designed and orchestrated that
  • 00:12:21.686 --> 00:12:24.956
  • First marriage.
  • 00:12:24.956 --> 00:12:26.291
  • Genesis 2:22 says after he built eve, he brought the woman to
  • 00:12:26.291 --> 00:12:33.064
  • The man.
  • 00:12:33.064 --> 00:12:34.399
  • He's the one who brought them together.
  • 00:12:34.399 --> 00:12:37.969
  • Number two, what are the decisions that lead
  • 00:12:37.969 --> 00:12:41.306
  • To a marriage without regrets?
  • 00:12:41.306 --> 00:12:43.575
  • Number two, i will make my mate's happiness a priority.
  • 00:12:43.575 --> 00:12:48.379
  • I will make my mate's happiness a priority.
  • 00:12:48.379 --> 00:12:52.317
  • I read somewhere that only 17% of marriages can be classified
  • 00:12:52.317 --> 00:12:57.422
  • As truly happy marriages.
  • 00:12:57.422 --> 00:13:00.758
  • What's the root cause of unhappiness in marriage?
  • 00:13:00.758 --> 00:13:04.395
  • In a word, selfishness.
  • 00:13:04.395 --> 00:13:07.932
  • Whenever you have people in a relationship and both are intent
  • 00:13:07.932 --> 00:13:13.238
  • On getting their way every time, you're gonna have friction in
  • 00:13:13.238 --> 00:13:17.709
  • That relationship.
  • 00:13:17.709 --> 00:13:19.477
  • By the way, that's the cause of conflicts in churches.
  • 00:13:19.477 --> 00:13:22.513
  • It doesn't have anything to do with theology with
  • 00:13:22.513 --> 00:13:24.549
  • Most churches.
  • 00:13:24.549 --> 00:13:25.884
  • It's selfishness.
  • 00:13:25.884 --> 00:13:27.785
  • One group likes contemporary music, the other group likes
  • 00:13:27.785 --> 00:13:31.789
  • Traditional music.
  • 00:13:31.789 --> 00:13:33.725
  • Some people think the pastor ought to preach doctrinal
  • 00:13:33.725 --> 00:13:36.427
  • Messages only, other people think he ought to preach
  • 00:13:36.427 --> 00:13:39.397
  • Application-oriented messages.
  • 00:13:39.397 --> 00:13:41.799
  • One group thinks the sanctuary is too hot, others think it is
  • 00:13:41.799 --> 00:13:45.737
  • Too cold, and everybody wants his or her own way.
  • 00:13:45.737 --> 00:13:49.874
  • Whenever you have that, you're going to have friction in a
  • 00:13:49.874 --> 00:13:54.412
  • Marriage or a church.
  • 00:13:54.412 --> 00:13:56.915
  • In james 4:1, james says, "what is the source of quarrels and
  • 00:13:56.915 --> 00:14:00.818
  • Conflicts among you?
  • 00:14:00.818 --> 00:14:02.220
  • Is not the source your own pleasures, your desires, that
  • 00:14:02.220 --> 00:14:06.057
  • Wage war in your members?"
  • 00:14:06.057 --> 00:14:08.760
  • What's the antidote to selfishness?
  • 00:14:08.760 --> 00:14:11.262
  • It's putting other people's interest ahead of your own.
  • 00:14:11.262 --> 00:14:15.633
  • Remember what paul said in philippians 2, verses 3 and 4,
  • 00:14:15.633 --> 00:14:19.437
  • "do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility
  • 00:14:19.437 --> 00:14:24.142
  • Of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;
  • 00:14:24.142 --> 00:14:28.680
  • Do not merely look out for your own interest, but the interest
  • 00:14:28.680 --> 00:14:32.116
  • Of others as well."
  • 00:14:32.116 --> 00:14:33.685
  • And then he goes on to say, "have this attitude in
  • 00:14:33.685 --> 00:14:36.821
  • Yourselves that was in christ jesus, who although he existed
  • 00:14:36.821 --> 00:14:40.925
  • In the form of god, he did regard his equality with god a
  • 00:14:40.925 --> 00:14:44.896
  • Thing to be grasped, held on to, but he emptied himself, he
  • 00:14:44.896 --> 00:14:48.533
  • Became obedient to the point of death, even death on the cross."
  • 00:14:48.533 --> 00:14:51.869
  • Why did jesus leave the throne room of heaven and come
  • 00:14:51.869 --> 00:14:55.406
  • To earth?
  • 00:14:55.406 --> 00:14:56.741
  • It's not to meet his needs.
  • 00:14:56.741 --> 00:14:58.242
  • His needs were being met in heaven.
  • 00:14:58.242 --> 00:15:00.044
  • He had it all, but he was willing to give it all up to
  • 00:15:00.044 --> 00:15:04.248
  • Come and meet the needs we have.
  • 00:15:04.248 --> 00:15:06.117
  • He put our interests above his own and we're to carry that same
  • 00:15:06.117 --> 00:15:11.689
  • Attitude into the church.
  • 00:15:11.689 --> 00:15:13.291
  • That's the context of philippians 2, there was a
  • 00:15:13.291 --> 00:15:16.461
  • Schism going on in the philippian church.
  • 00:15:16.461 --> 00:15:19.197
  • You know what the ironic thing is?
  • 00:15:19.197 --> 00:15:21.065
  • When we decide we're gonna have our way or the no way, it's
  • 00:15:21.065 --> 00:15:25.103
  • Gonna be our way or the highway--doesn't make us happy,
  • 00:15:25.103 --> 00:15:28.773
  • It just creates conflict that makes both parties miserable.
  • 00:15:28.773 --> 00:15:32.977
  • But when you put the interest of your mate, your mate's
  • 00:15:32.977 --> 00:15:36.381
  • Happiness, above your own, it not only creates happiness in
  • 00:15:36.381 --> 00:15:40.685
  • Them, it makes for a pleasant marriage as well.
  • 00:15:40.685 --> 00:15:43.755
  • One key for a regret-free marriage is making your mate's
  • 00:15:43.755 --> 00:15:47.792
  • Happiness a priority.
  • 00:15:47.792 --> 00:15:50.094
  • Decision number three, and this is so important, i will refrain
  • 00:15:50.094 --> 00:15:54.932
  • From using hurtful words with my mate.
  • 00:15:54.932 --> 00:15:59.337
  • I read somewhere that for every negative comment you make to a
  • 00:15:59.337 --> 00:16:04.308
  • Family member, it takes four positive comments to reverse the
  • 00:16:04.308 --> 00:16:08.780
  • Effects of that one negative comment.
  • 00:16:08.780 --> 00:16:11.849
  • I don't believe that.
  • 00:16:11.849 --> 00:16:14.719
  • I don't believe you ever reverse the effects of hurtful speech.
  • 00:16:14.719 --> 00:16:20.091
  • Hurtful speech, those daggers that you know hurt your mate,
  • 00:16:20.091 --> 00:16:25.563
  • It's like putting a nail in a wall.
  • 00:16:25.563 --> 00:16:28.966
  • You can remove the nail, but the hole remains and that's the same
  • 00:16:28.966 --> 00:16:34.138
  • With hurtful words that we speak.
  • 00:16:34.138 --> 00:16:36.541
  • That's why we need to be very careful about the things we say
  • 00:16:36.541 --> 00:16:40.578
  • To our mate.
  • 00:16:40.578 --> 00:16:41.946
  • In james 3:6, the writer says, "the tongue is a fire, the very
  • 00:16:41.946 --> 00:16:45.750
  • World of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that
  • 00:16:45.750 --> 00:16:50.021
  • Which defiles the entire body and sets on fire the course of
  • 00:16:50.021 --> 00:16:54.392
  • Our life and is set on fire by hell."
  • 00:16:54.392 --> 00:16:57.628
  • Just as one spark can destroy an entire forest, so one hurtful
  • 00:16:57.628 --> 00:17:02.567
  • Word can destroy the spirit of a marriage.
  • 00:17:02.567 --> 00:17:07.305
  • How do you keep from doing that?
  • 00:17:07.305 --> 00:17:09.307
  • Use a filter.
  • 00:17:09.307 --> 00:17:11.175
  • Use a filter through which to think through what you're going
  • 00:17:11.175 --> 00:17:14.846
  • To say to your mate before you say it.
  • 00:17:14.846 --> 00:17:16.814
  • You can never retrieve something that you've said.
  • 00:17:16.814 --> 00:17:19.951
  • The filter is found in ephesians 4:29.
  • 00:17:19.951 --> 00:17:23.454
  • Paul wrote, "let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth,
  • 00:17:23.454 --> 00:17:27.892
  • But only such a word as is good for edification according to the
  • 00:17:27.892 --> 00:17:32.029
  • Need of the moment, that it will give grace to those who
  • 00:17:32.029 --> 00:17:35.766
  • Hear it."
  • 00:17:35.766 --> 00:17:37.135
  • Think before you speak.
  • 00:17:37.135 --> 00:17:40.271
  • The great bible teacher alan j. redpath uses that word, think,
  • 00:17:40.271 --> 00:17:44.842
  • As an acrostic for five questions to ask before you say
  • 00:17:44.842 --> 00:17:50.047
  • Anything, especially to your mate.
  • 00:17:50.047 --> 00:17:52.483
  • The t in think stands for true.
  • 00:17:52.483 --> 00:17:55.820
  • Is what you're saying true?
  • 00:17:55.820 --> 00:17:57.788
  • In ephesians 4, paul said, "lay aside all falsehood."
  • 00:17:57.788 --> 00:18:01.292
  • That means also things you say to your mate.
  • 00:18:01.292 --> 00:18:04.095
  • Is it true that you never do anything to help me around
  • 00:18:04.095 --> 00:18:08.132
  • The house?
  • 00:18:08.132 --> 00:18:10.034
  • Is it true to say you always have something negative to say
  • 00:18:10.034 --> 00:18:14.005
  • To me?
  • 00:18:14.005 --> 00:18:15.339
  • Words that begin with always and never are usually false.
  • 00:18:15.339 --> 00:18:19.911
  • It's not accurate.
  • 00:18:19.911 --> 00:18:21.379
  • Be sure what you're saying is true.
  • 00:18:21.379 --> 00:18:23.681
  • The h stands for helpful.
  • 00:18:23.681 --> 00:18:25.750
  • Our goal ought to be to help our mate, not to hinder him or her.
  • 00:18:25.750 --> 00:18:30.588
  • Number three, the i stands for inspiring.
  • 00:18:30.588 --> 00:18:33.624
  • Paul says our word should edify the other person.
  • 00:18:33.624 --> 00:18:36.827
  • That word, edify, oikodomé, means to build up.
  • 00:18:36.827 --> 00:18:41.432
  • Is what you're saying something that is building up your mate or
  • 00:18:41.432 --> 00:18:45.102
  • Tearing him or her down?
  • 00:18:45.102 --> 00:18:47.371
  • The n in think stands for necessary.
  • 00:18:47.371 --> 00:18:50.374
  • Paul says, "only speak according to the need of the moment."
  • 00:18:50.374 --> 00:18:55.646
  • Let me tell you a simple truth that i'm learning--trying to
  • 00:18:55.646 --> 00:18:59.483
  • Learn more and more.
  • 00:18:59.483 --> 00:19:00.851
  • Not every thought has to be expressed.
  • 00:19:00.851 --> 00:19:04.922
  • You know, everything that comes into your mind doesn't need to
  • 00:19:04.922 --> 00:19:07.825
  • Be verbalized, necessarily.
  • 00:19:07.825 --> 00:19:10.061
  • That's what paul says, "only speak according to the need of
  • 00:19:10.061 --> 00:19:14.298
  • The moment necessary."
  • 00:19:14.298 --> 00:19:16.067
  • And k stands for kind.
  • 00:19:16.067 --> 00:19:18.135
  • Is what you're saying kind?
  • 00:19:18.135 --> 00:19:21.038
  • That is, even if it's a confrontation that's necessary,
  • 00:19:21.038 --> 00:19:24.909
  • Is it in the spirit of grace and kindness?
  • 00:19:24.909 --> 00:19:27.912
  • Ephesians 4:32 says, "be kind to one another, tenderhearted,
  • 00:19:27.912 --> 00:19:33.618
  • Forgiving one another just as god in christ has forgiven you."
  • 00:19:33.618 --> 00:19:38.723
  • And then decision number four to build a regret-free marriage: i
  • 00:19:38.723 --> 00:19:43.861
  • Will build memories, pleasant memories, with my mate.
  • 00:19:43.861 --> 00:19:48.566
  • I will build memories with my mate.
  • 00:19:48.566 --> 00:19:50.201
  • A happily married couple was once asked the secret of their
  • 00:19:50.201 --> 00:19:53.771
  • Happiness in marriage.
  • 00:19:53.771 --> 00:19:55.139
  • The husband spoke up quickly.
  • 00:19:55.139 --> 00:19:56.474
  • He said, "i'll tell you the secret to happiness.
  • 00:19:56.474 --> 00:19:59.043
  • We dine out twice a week.
  • 00:19:59.043 --> 00:20:01.379
  • Champagne, violins, candlelight.
  • 00:20:01.379 --> 00:20:06.517
  • Her night is tuesday, mine is thursday."
  • 00:20:06.517 --> 00:20:12.590
  • Now, a lot of couples live that way.
  • 00:20:12.590 --> 00:20:15.826
  • They just live separate lives.
  • 00:20:15.826 --> 00:20:17.561
  • That was never god's plan.
  • 00:20:17.561 --> 00:20:19.497
  • Now, that doesn't mean you have to do everything together.
  • 00:20:19.497 --> 00:20:21.666
  • Remember, your mate's opposite you, they're not to be like you.
  • 00:20:21.666 --> 00:20:25.036
  • Just because you enjoy playing golf doesn't mean your mate
  • 00:20:25.036 --> 00:20:27.872
  • Wants to swing a 9 iron.
  • 00:20:27.872 --> 00:20:30.241
  • They may enjoy opera, doesn't mean you have to salivate over
  • 00:20:30.241 --> 00:20:35.246
  • "madame butterfly."
  • 00:20:35.246 --> 00:20:36.580
  • You don't need to be alike in everything, but you've got to
  • 00:20:36.580 --> 00:20:39.784
  • Spend some time together.
  • 00:20:39.784 --> 00:20:41.819
  • That's why god made marriage, for companionship.
  • 00:20:41.819 --> 00:20:45.856
  • And yet, many people miss that point.
  • 00:20:45.856 --> 00:20:48.326
  • In ecclesiastes 9, verse 9, solomon spoke wise words when he
  • 00:20:48.326 --> 00:20:52.630
  • Said, "enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of
  • 00:20:52.630 --> 00:20:58.202
  • Your fleeting life which he has given to you under the sun, for
  • 00:20:58.202 --> 00:21:02.840
  • This is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have
  • 00:21:02.840 --> 00:21:06.977
  • Labored under the sun."
  • 00:21:06.977 --> 00:21:09.714
  • I see so many couples that are just marking time, waiting for
  • 00:21:09.714 --> 00:21:16.454
  • Their child to get out of diapers, waiting for their
  • 00:21:16.454 --> 00:21:18.923
  • Children to get out of school, waiting for their children to
  • 00:21:18.923 --> 00:21:21.559
  • Graduate, waiting for the mortgage to be paid off, waiting
  • 00:21:21.559 --> 00:21:26.230
  • For the retirement years to come, waiting, waiting,
  • 00:21:26.230 --> 00:21:29.600
  • Waiting, waiting.
  • 00:21:29.600 --> 00:21:31.402
  • And one day, they awaken and realize most of their life is
  • 00:21:31.402 --> 00:21:34.972
  • Already gone, or there's a tragedy they experience the loss
  • 00:21:34.972 --> 00:21:39.176
  • Of their mate and they are filled with regrets.
  • 00:21:39.176 --> 00:21:43.280
  • Solomon says don't make that mistake.
  • 00:21:43.280 --> 00:21:46.484
  • Is there a hobby you'd like to do with your mate?
  • 00:21:46.484 --> 00:21:48.419
  • Start it today.
  • 00:21:48.419 --> 00:21:50.020
  • Is there a trip you've been dreaming of taking together?
  • 00:21:50.020 --> 00:21:52.723
  • Go ahead and go today while you're still able.
  • 00:21:52.723 --> 00:21:55.159
  • If you have to borrow the money, do so.
  • 00:21:55.159 --> 00:21:56.927
  • There is no promise that you're going to have a tomorrow.
  • 00:21:56.927 --> 00:22:02.299
  • I've dealt with lots of people.
  • 00:22:02.299 --> 00:22:05.336
  • I've tried to minister to people, some of you who have
  • 00:22:05.336 --> 00:22:07.805
  • Lost their mate, and there's nothing, nothing that can erase
  • 00:22:07.805 --> 00:22:12.943
  • The grief you feel when you lose a life partner.
  • 00:22:12.943 --> 00:22:16.914
  • But i've seen that those who deal best with grief are those
  • 00:22:16.914 --> 00:22:21.752
  • Who have a storehouse, a museum of memories they can draw from,
  • 00:22:21.752 --> 00:22:26.157
  • With their mate.
  • 00:22:26.157 --> 00:22:28.259
  • Not long ago, i conducted a funeral service for a man who
  • 00:22:28.259 --> 00:22:31.395
  • Had suddenly dropped dead of a heart attack.
  • 00:22:31.395 --> 00:22:35.199
  • And, as i usually do, i stood at the head of the casket as people
  • 00:22:35.199 --> 00:22:40.137
  • Passed by to pay their respects.
  • 00:22:40.137 --> 00:22:42.740
  • And as usual, the wife, the mate, was the last person to
  • 00:22:42.740 --> 00:22:47.144
  • Pass by and she looked into the face of the person to whom she
  • 00:22:47.144 --> 00:22:51.148
  • Had loved for more than 50 years and she began to
  • 00:22:51.148 --> 00:22:56.554
  • Sob uncontrollably.
  • 00:22:56.554 --> 00:23:00.024
  • And, you know, i should have been thinking just about that
  • 00:23:00.024 --> 00:23:03.761
  • Woman, but i couldn't help but ask myself the question, if i
  • 00:23:03.761 --> 00:23:08.799
  • Face that same circumstance, and there's a 50/50 chance i'll
  • 00:23:08.799 --> 00:23:12.670
  • Outlive my mate, if i face that same situation, how am i
  • 00:23:12.670 --> 00:23:18.242
  • Gonna feel?
  • 00:23:18.242 --> 00:23:20.611
  • How are you going to feel if you face that situation?
  • 00:23:20.611 --> 00:23:25.549
  • You know, nothing will erase the pain of the loss of a mate, but
  • 00:23:25.549 --> 00:23:28.986
  • I've committed, and i hope you'll join me in committing, to
  • 00:23:28.986 --> 00:23:32.189
  • Making these four biblical commitments that will ensure
  • 00:23:32.189 --> 00:23:37.394
  • A marriage without regret.
  • 00:23:37.394 --> 00:23:41.265
  • Jeffress: these four biblical commitments will transform a
  • 00:23:45.369 --> 00:23:48.472
  • Marriage, healthy ones and broken ones, no matter the case.
  • 00:23:48.472 --> 00:23:52.476
  • Well, i'm pleased to tell you that this has been another
  • 00:23:52.476 --> 00:23:56.013
  • Record-setting season of growth for "pathway to victory."
  • 00:23:56.013 --> 00:23:59.350
  • In fact, in recent months, we've expanded our television coverage
  • 00:23:59.350 --> 00:24:03.320
  • Into 50 new cities including boston, cleveland, detroit,
  • 00:24:03.320 --> 00:24:07.691
  • Minneapolis, saint paul, seattle, anchorage, and
  • 00:24:07.691 --> 00:24:10.594
  • Las vegas.
  • 00:24:10.594 --> 00:24:12.129
  • Our goal through all of this growth is not to lift up the
  • 00:24:12.129 --> 00:24:14.932
  • Name of "pathway to victory," but to bring biblical hope and
  • 00:24:14.932 --> 00:24:18.669
  • Truth to a world that desperately needs it.
  • 00:24:18.669 --> 00:24:21.739
  • So please, keep up the good work so that we can continue to
  • 00:24:21.739 --> 00:24:25.743
  • Pierce the darkness with the light of god's word.
  • 00:24:25.743 --> 00:24:29.113
  • Now, stay right there, i'll be back with more "pathway to
  • 00:24:29.113 --> 00:24:31.749
  • Victory" in just a moment.
  • 00:24:31.749 --> 00:24:33.884
  • Male announcer: what if your doctor were to say you had only
  • 00:24:35.185 --> 00:24:37.721
  • Six months left to live?
  • 00:24:37.721 --> 00:24:39.423
  • Would you have any regrets in your life?
  • 00:24:39.423 --> 00:24:41.559
  • In his best selling book, "say goodbye to regret," dr.
  • 00:24:41.559 --> 00:24:44.695
  • Robert jeffress shares biblical principles for dealing with
  • 00:24:44.695 --> 00:24:47.631
  • Regrets from your past and preventing regrets in
  • 00:24:47.631 --> 00:24:50.367
  • The future.
  • 00:24:50.367 --> 00:24:51.735
  • Jeffress: regret is one of life's most painful and
  • 00:24:51.735 --> 00:24:54.738
  • Unnecessary emotions.
  • 00:24:54.738 --> 00:24:56.607
  • And in my best selling book, "say goodbye to regret," i'll
  • 00:24:56.607 --> 00:24:59.877
  • Help you turn those if-onlys into successful lessons
  • 00:24:59.877 --> 00:25:03.981
  • In living.
  • 00:25:03.981 --> 00:25:05.349
  • Announcer: it's time to move forward satisfied with
  • 00:25:05.349 --> 00:25:08.118
  • The life you're living.
  • 00:25:08.118 --> 00:25:09.486
  • Request your copy of "say goodbye to regret" when you give
  • 00:25:09.486 --> 00:25:11.889
  • A generous gift to "pathway to victory."
  • 00:25:11.889 --> 00:25:14.491
  • In the pages of this highly practical book, you'll discover
  • 00:25:14.491 --> 00:25:17.795
  • The biblical keys to leaving behind regrets about
  • 00:25:17.795 --> 00:25:20.464
  • Relationships, your marriage, finances, and more.
  • 00:25:20.464 --> 00:25:24.068
  • And when you give $75 or more, we'll also send you the complete
  • 00:25:24.068 --> 00:25:29.340
  • "say goodbye to regret" teaching series
  • 00:25:29.340 --> 00:25:31.442
  • On dvd video and mp3 format audio disc.
  • 00:25:31.442 --> 00:25:35.646
  • Jeffress: one of the heaviest weights other than sin
  • 00:25:35.713 --> 00:25:38.849
  • Is regret.
  • 00:25:38.849 --> 00:25:40.351
  • Regrets are not the problem in and of themselves.
  • 00:25:40.351 --> 00:25:42.987
  • They are an indicator of a problem that needs to be
  • 00:25:42.987 --> 00:25:46.490
  • Dealt with.
  • 00:25:46.490 --> 00:25:48.058
  • Announcer: thank you for helping "pathway to victory"
  • 00:25:48.058 --> 00:25:50.227
  • Proclaim the redemptive power of jesus christ to a world in need.
  • 00:25:50.227 --> 00:25:54.431
  • Together, we are broadcasting the message of god's love
  • 00:25:54.431 --> 00:25:57.601
  • And forgiveness, biblical hope, and life transforming power
  • 00:25:57.601 --> 00:26:01.105
  • Across the country and around the world.
  • 00:26:01.105 --> 00:26:03.707
  • Jeffress: maybe i've spoken to someone today who needs to make
  • 00:26:06.877 --> 00:26:09.880
  • Some, or all, of these four commitments.
  • 00:26:09.880 --> 00:26:12.549
  • Don't let another day pass without making a resolve
  • 00:26:12.549 --> 00:26:16.020
  • To change.
  • 00:26:16.020 --> 00:26:17.388
  • You will never regret investing more time and effort into this
  • 00:26:17.388 --> 00:26:21.325
  • Most important relationship with your mate.
  • 00:26:21.325 --> 00:26:24.795
  • Well, few topics are more practical than the issue
  • 00:26:24.795 --> 00:26:27.898
  • Of forgiveness.
  • 00:26:27.898 --> 00:26:29.266
  • And next time i'm going to share three principles to help you
  • 00:26:29.266 --> 00:26:32.336
  • Exercise genuine biblical forgiveness in your life.
  • 00:26:32.336 --> 00:26:37.241
  • Stay tuned for a preview of what's coming up next in our
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  • Series, "say goodbye to regret."
  • 00:26:39.643 --> 00:26:42.846
  • Jeffress: earning forgiveness is really impossible when you think
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  • About it.
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  • Remember what jesus said in the sermon on the mount?
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  • "you've heard it say, "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a
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  • Tooth," but i say to you, don't resist the one who does evil,"
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  • And so forth.
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  • You know, we think of that as a barbaric rule, an eye for an
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  • Eye, a tooth for a tooth, but really, it was a law.
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  • We call it lex talionis, the law of retribution, that was given
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  • To keep order in society.
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  • Male announcer: set your dvr and join us next time for the
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  • Message, "say goodbye to relationship regrets" here on
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  • "pathway to victory."
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