Pathway to Victory offers a practical application of God’s Word to everyday life through the clear, biblical teaching of Pastor Jeffress.
#inActive
#Marriage
#Regret
#Mistakes
#Husband
#Wife
#Divorce
#Relationships
#RelationshipwithGod
#HandofGod
#Plan
Closed captions
Show Timecode
Dr. Robert Jeffress | Robert Jeffress - Say Goodbye To Marital Regrets | August 26, 2025
- ...
- 00:00:00.633 --> 00:00:00.390
- ♪♪♪
- 00:00:00.857 --> 00:00:06.863
- Male announcer: from the pulpit of the first baptist church of
- 00:00:06.963 --> 00:00:09.032
- Dallas, texas, this is "pathway to victory"
- 00:00:09.165 --> 00:00:09.933
- With dr. robert jeffress.
- 00:00:11.868 --> 00:00:13.369
- Dr. robert jeffress: hi, i'm robert jeffress and welcome
- 00:00:14.671 --> 00:00:16.239
- Again to "pathway to victory."
- 00:00:16.239 --> 00:00:18.441
- No relationship is more intimate and more sacred than the
- 00:00:18.441 --> 00:00:22.045
- Lifelong commitment to your mate.
- 00:00:22.045 --> 00:00:24.714
- And while weddings are filled with joy and celebration, most
- 00:00:24.714 --> 00:00:28.184
- Couples find the day to day realities to be more
- 00:00:28.184 --> 00:00:31.488
- Challenging than they anticipated.
- 00:00:31.488 --> 00:00:34.257
- Today, i'm going to outline four decisions you can make right now
- 00:00:34.257 --> 00:00:38.728
- To help rekindle the flame in your marriage.
- 00:00:38.728 --> 00:00:41.831
- My message is titled, "say goodbye to marital regrets" on
- 00:00:41.831 --> 00:00:46.469
- Today's edition of "pathway to victory."
- 00:00:46.469 --> 00:00:50.006
- ♪♪♪
- 00:00:50.006 --> 00:00:55.211
- Announcer: god doesn't want you to carry around the weight of
- 00:00:56.846 --> 00:00:59.149
- Sins he's already forgiven.
- 00:00:59.149 --> 00:01:01.084
- In his bestselling book, "say goodbye to regret," dr. robert
- 00:01:01.084 --> 00:01:04.354
- Jeffress helps you live beyond the would-haves, could-haves,
- 00:01:04.354 --> 00:01:07.423
- And should-haves to embrace the future god has planned for you.
- 00:01:07.423 --> 00:01:11.327
- You can't undo the past, but there's plenty you can do to
- 00:01:11.327 --> 00:01:14.931
- Reshape tomorrow and eternity.
- 00:01:14.931 --> 00:01:17.167
- Discover the biblical secrets for regret-free living when you
- 00:01:17.167 --> 00:01:21.037
- Request the book, "say goodbye to regret."
- 00:01:21.037 --> 00:01:23.406
- Thank you for giving generously to "pathway to victory."
- 00:01:23.406 --> 00:01:27.076
- ♪♪♪
- 00:01:27.911 --> 00:01:35.652
- Jeffress: i wanna ask you who are married a very personal and
- 00:01:35.652 --> 00:01:39.322
- Revealing question.
- 00:01:39.322 --> 00:01:42.892
- If you were to lose your mate suddenly through divorce or
- 00:01:42.892 --> 00:01:47.330
- Through death, would you have any regrets about your marriage?
- 00:01:47.330 --> 00:01:53.303
- Perhaps you would look back on a heated argument you had with
- 00:01:53.303 --> 00:01:57.073
- Your mate and, trying to gain the upper hand, you grabbed that
- 00:01:57.073 --> 00:02:01.978
- Dagger, that insult, that criticism that you knew would
- 00:02:01.978 --> 00:02:07.517
- Cut deepest into your mate's heart.
- 00:02:07.517 --> 00:02:11.554
- And though you would try to apologize later for that
- 00:02:11.554 --> 00:02:14.891
- Comment, your marriage was never the same after it.
- 00:02:14.891 --> 00:02:19.796
- Maybe, as you think about regrets, you would think about
- 00:02:19.796 --> 00:02:23.233
- That quality in your mate that first drew you to him or her,
- 00:02:23.233 --> 00:02:28.905
- But you spent the rest of your marriage trying to fix--always
- 00:02:28.905 --> 00:02:32.775
- Trying to fix your mate.
- 00:02:32.775 --> 00:02:35.111
- Maybe you would think about missed opportunities you had to
- 00:02:35.111 --> 00:02:38.047
- Spend together.
- 00:02:38.047 --> 00:02:39.749
- "we were having such a great time in the mountains,
- 00:02:39.749 --> 00:02:42.118
- Why did we feel like we had to rush home?
- 00:02:42.118 --> 00:02:44.621
- Or why did we think it was necessary to have every dish
- 00:02:44.621 --> 00:02:47.957
- Cleaned before we could take a walk after supper together?"
- 00:02:47.957 --> 00:02:52.562
- Maybe for some of you, you would think back on an extramarital
- 00:02:52.562 --> 00:02:56.232
- Relationship that changed the dynamics of your
- 00:02:56.232 --> 00:02:59.669
- Marriage forever.
- 00:02:59.669 --> 00:03:02.472
- Any kind of separation--the separation from a mate because
- 00:03:02.472 --> 00:03:06.476
- Of death or divorce always causes grief.
- 00:03:06.476 --> 00:03:10.480
- But that grief is compounded when it's mixed with regrets.
- 00:03:10.480 --> 00:03:15.618
- I think about the story of abraham and the death of his
- 00:03:15.618 --> 00:03:18.288
- Wife, sarah.
- 00:03:18.288 --> 00:03:19.622
- It's recorded in genesis 23, verses 1 and 2, "now sarah lived
- 00:03:19.622 --> 00:03:24.861
- 127 years; these were the years of the life of sarah.
- 00:03:24.861 --> 00:03:30.099
- Sarah died in hebron in the land of canaan; and abraham went into
- 00:03:30.099 --> 00:03:35.905
- The sepulcher," the grave, "to mourn for sarah and to weep
- 00:03:35.905 --> 00:03:41.477
- For her."
- 00:03:41.477 --> 00:03:42.979
- He wept because of the death of his wife, certainly because they
- 00:03:42.979 --> 00:03:46.549
- Had been married together for 60 years, but i think part of his
- 00:03:46.549 --> 00:03:50.687
- Grief was because of regrets he felt about the relationship.
- 00:03:50.687 --> 00:03:55.224
- He remembered that situation with hagar that destroyed the
- 00:03:55.224 --> 00:03:59.529
- Spirit of their marriage.
- 00:03:59.529 --> 00:04:01.431
- He thought about, not just once but twice, that he had placed
- 00:04:01.431 --> 00:04:04.767
- His own welfare, his own safety above the safety of sarah.
- 00:04:04.767 --> 00:04:10.473
- You know, the fact is we cannot eliminate grief that comes from
- 00:04:10.473 --> 00:04:15.011
- The death or divorce of a mate, but we can diminish that grief
- 00:04:15.011 --> 00:04:20.550
- By committing to four decisions that lead to what i call a
- 00:04:20.550 --> 00:04:24.520
- Regret-free marriage and that's what we're going to look
- 00:04:24.520 --> 00:04:28.691
- At today.
- 00:04:28.691 --> 00:04:30.059
- As we continue our series, "say goodbye to regret," we're going
- 00:04:30.059 --> 00:04:34.297
- To talk about how to say goodbye to regrets about our most
- 00:04:34.297 --> 00:04:38.935
- Important relationship in life, the relationship with our mate.
- 00:04:38.935 --> 00:04:43.439
- If you have your bibles, turn to genesis chapter 2.
- 00:04:43.439 --> 00:04:48.611
- Genesis chapter 2
- 00:04:48.611 --> 00:04:50.513
- And then be ready to turn to matthew chapter 19.
- 00:04:50.513 --> 00:04:55.017
- Of the most foundational decision we can make to
- 00:04:55.017 --> 00:04:58.421
- Eliminate regrets in our marriage--the most foundational
- 00:04:58.421 --> 00:05:02.492
- Decision is this: i will not divorce my mate.
- 00:05:02.492 --> 00:05:08.965
- I will not divorce my mate.
- 00:05:08.965 --> 00:05:11.434
- Let me tell you from the perspective of a pastor of more
- 00:05:11.434 --> 00:05:14.737
- Than 40 years what i've seen about divorce and remarriage.
- 00:05:14.737 --> 00:05:19.075
- I've seen that divorce and remarriage do not
- 00:05:19.075 --> 00:05:22.412
- Eliminate problems.
- 00:05:22.412 --> 00:05:24.514
- Why is that such an important decision?
- 00:05:24.514 --> 00:05:27.617
- Why does god place an emphasis on that commitment to
- 00:05:27.617 --> 00:05:31.320
- Remain married?
- 00:05:31.320 --> 00:05:32.855
- Well, jesus explained why in the passage we read from in
- 00:05:32.855 --> 00:05:36.325
- Matthew 19.
- 00:05:36.325 --> 00:05:37.960
- In verse 3, matthew records, "some pharisees came to jesus,
- 00:05:37.960 --> 00:05:42.265
- Testing him and asking, 'is it lawful for a man to divorce his
- 00:05:42.265 --> 00:05:46.836
- Wife for any reason at all?'"
- 00:05:46.836 --> 00:05:49.572
- Divorce was a hot topic of debate in jesus's day.
- 00:05:49.572 --> 00:05:53.176
- Half of the jews followed a rabbi named hillel who said you
- 00:05:53.176 --> 00:05:57.980
- Can divorce for any reason, whatever.
- 00:05:57.980 --> 00:06:00.950
- Your wife burns the toast?
- 00:06:00.950 --> 00:06:02.985
- Get rid of her, you don't have to put up with that.
- 00:06:02.985 --> 00:06:05.354
- Any reason at all, divorce your mate.
- 00:06:05.354 --> 00:06:07.790
- Another half of the jews followed after another rabbi
- 00:06:07.790 --> 00:06:10.660
- Named shammai who said you can't divorce for any reason
- 00:06:10.660 --> 00:06:14.630
- Except adultery.
- 00:06:14.630 --> 00:06:16.399
- So, the pharisees, wanting to discredit jesus, said, "okay,
- 00:06:16.399 --> 00:06:19.936
- Which one do you choose, jesus?
- 00:06:19.936 --> 00:06:21.504
- Which rabbi do you choose?"
- 00:06:21.504 --> 00:06:24.073
- "and jesus answered and said,
- 00:06:24.073 --> 00:06:26.075
- 'have you not read,'" you pharisees claim to know the
- 00:06:26.075 --> 00:06:30.279
- Scriptures backwards and forwards, let's see what the
- 00:06:30.279 --> 00:06:32.548
- Scripture says.
- 00:06:32.548 --> 00:06:33.916
- "'have you not read that he who created them from the beginning
- 00:06:33.916 --> 00:06:36.786
- Made them male and female,' and said, 'for this reason a man
- 00:06:36.786 --> 00:06:40.990
- Shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his
- 00:06:40.990 --> 00:06:43.159
- Wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?"
- 00:06:43.159 --> 00:06:45.995
- That was a quotation from genesis 2 and jesus concluded,
- 00:06:45.995 --> 00:06:49.732
- "so they are no longer two but one flesh.
- 00:06:49.732 --> 00:06:53.169
- What god has joined together, let no man separate."
- 00:06:53.169 --> 00:06:57.540
- Notice the three principles about marriage that explain why
- 00:06:57.540 --> 00:07:01.544
- Jesus is against divorce.
- 00:07:01.544 --> 00:07:03.546
- First of all, marriage is uniquely designed by god.
- 00:07:03.546 --> 00:07:07.583
- That is, each person in a marriage relationship is
- 00:07:07.583 --> 00:07:11.287
- Tailor-made, custom-made, by god to perfectly fit the
- 00:07:11.287 --> 00:07:15.358
- Other partner.
- 00:07:15.358 --> 00:07:16.692
- That's what verse 4 is about.
- 00:07:16.692 --> 00:07:18.060
- "and jesus answered and said, 'have you not read that he who
- 00:07:18.060 --> 00:07:22.565
- Created them from the beginning made them male and female?'"
- 00:07:22.565 --> 00:07:28.538
- And that helps answer the divorce question, do
- 00:07:28.538 --> 00:07:30.540
- You understand?
- 00:07:30.540 --> 00:07:31.874
- First of all, marriage is uniquely designed by god, every
- 00:07:31.874 --> 00:07:34.744
- Mate is custom-made for the other one.
- 00:07:34.744 --> 00:07:37.013
- "secondly," jesus said, "marriage creates an
- 00:07:37.013 --> 00:07:39.849
- Unbreakable bond."
- 00:07:39.849 --> 00:07:42.184
- When you marry, you create an unbreakable bond with the
- 00:07:42.184 --> 00:07:45.521
- Other person.
- 00:07:45.521 --> 00:07:46.856
- Verse 5, matthew 19, "for this reason a man shall leave his
- 00:07:46.856 --> 00:07:50.493
- Father and mother and be joined together to his wife, and the
- 00:07:50.493 --> 00:07:55.865
- Two shall become one flesh."
- 00:07:55.865 --> 00:07:59.869
- There's the word, cleave.
- 00:07:59.869 --> 00:08:01.771
- A man shall leave his father and mother.
- 00:08:01.771 --> 00:08:04.106
- He wasn't just talking about adam and eve.
- 00:08:04.106 --> 00:08:06.275
- In fact, adam and eve didn't have a father and mother
- 00:08:06.275 --> 00:08:08.010
- To leave.
- 00:08:08.010 --> 00:08:09.378
- This is a principle for all of us, moses said and jesus
- 00:08:09.378 --> 00:08:11.647
- Repeated, we shall leave our mother and father and cleave to
- 00:08:11.647 --> 00:08:16.218
- One another.
- 00:08:16.218 --> 00:08:17.587
- That word cleave means to create an unbreakable bond.
- 00:08:17.587 --> 00:08:21.023
- Interestingly, it's the same word that is used in ruth
- 00:08:21.023 --> 00:08:24.327
- Chapter 1.
- 00:08:24.327 --> 00:08:25.661
- Remember in the old testament, the story of ruth and
- 00:08:25.661 --> 00:08:28.464
- Her mother-in-law, naomi?
- 00:08:28.464 --> 00:08:30.199
- Both naomi and ruth lost their husbands and so naomi said to
- 00:08:30.199 --> 00:08:38.107
- Her newly widowed daughter-in-law ruth and another
- 00:08:38.107 --> 00:08:43.145
- Daughter-in-law orpah, naomi said to them,
- 00:08:43.145 --> 00:08:46.415
- "now that you're widowed, go back and
- 00:08:46.415 --> 00:08:50.252
- Find another mate in your home country.
- 00:08:50.252 --> 00:08:52.321
- Our relationship is over."
- 00:08:52.321 --> 00:08:54.924
- Verse 14 of ruth 1, "and they lifted up their voices and wept
- 00:08:54.924 --> 00:08:59.528
- Again and orpah kissed her mother-in-law."
- 00:08:59.528 --> 00:09:03.566
- In other words, she was saying, "i'm out of here, i'm gone."
- 00:09:03.566 --> 00:09:06.535
- But ruth clung to her mother-in-law.
- 00:09:06.535 --> 00:09:10.439
- There's that word cleave, there was an unbreakable bond.
- 00:09:10.439 --> 00:09:14.110
- And ruth said, "'do not urge me to leave you or to turn back
- 00:09:14.110 --> 00:09:18.614
- From following you; for where you go, i will go and
- 00:09:18.614 --> 00:09:22.051
- Where you lodge, i will lodge.
- 00:09:22.051 --> 00:09:23.853
- And your people shall be my people, and your god, my god.
- 00:09:23.853 --> 00:09:27.189
- When you die, i will die, and there i will be buried.
- 00:09:27.189 --> 00:09:31.260
- Thus, may the lord do to me, and worse, if anything but death
- 00:09:31.260 --> 00:09:35.598
- Parts you and me."
- 00:09:35.598 --> 00:09:38.234
- Those of us in the room who were married by dr. criswell
- 00:09:38.234 --> 00:09:41.704
- Remember these words.
- 00:09:41.704 --> 00:09:43.539
- He would use it in every wedding ceremony because it was a
- 00:09:43.539 --> 00:09:46.842
- Picture of the commitment that a husband and wife make, that
- 00:09:46.842 --> 00:09:50.246
- Unbreakable bond, that cleaving.
- 00:09:50.246 --> 00:09:53.382
- And, unfortunately, today many people don't understand that
- 00:09:53.382 --> 00:09:56.152
- Unbreakable bond.
- 00:09:56.152 --> 00:09:59.455
- The husband gets an offer of a new job.
- 00:09:59.455 --> 00:10:01.857
- He says, "family, i think it's god's will for me to move and us
- 00:10:01.857 --> 00:10:06.328
- To move."
- 00:10:06.328 --> 00:10:07.663
- And the wife says, "well, you can move if you want to, but i'm
- 00:10:07.663 --> 00:10:09.532
- Not about to uproot our family and put them in a new school, a
- 00:10:09.532 --> 00:10:12.601
- New city we don't know about."
- 00:10:12.601 --> 00:10:15.738
- What a different spirit that is than, "wherever you go, i will
- 00:10:15.738 --> 00:10:20.042
- Go, wherever you lodge, i will lodge."
- 00:10:20.042 --> 00:10:23.479
- Or a wife says, "i just can't stand your in-laws any longer."
- 00:10:23.479 --> 00:10:28.617
- Her husband says, "i can't stand your parents any longer," and
- 00:10:28.617 --> 00:10:31.921
- They separate over in-law conflicts.
- 00:10:31.921 --> 00:10:35.191
- Again, what a far cry that is from the pledge, "your people
- 00:10:35.191 --> 00:10:39.161
- Shall be my people, your god shall be my god."
- 00:10:39.161 --> 00:10:43.466
- This word, cleave, means to have an unbreakable bond with
- 00:10:43.466 --> 00:10:47.069
- Another person.
- 00:10:47.069 --> 00:10:48.404
- Interestingly, in hebrew it's the same word that describes our
- 00:10:48.404 --> 00:10:51.607
- Relationship with god.
- 00:10:51.607 --> 00:10:53.409
- In deuteronomy 10:20 god said, "you shall fear the lord, your
- 00:10:53.409 --> 00:10:57.847
- God; you shall serve him, and you shall cleave to him, and you
- 00:10:57.847 --> 00:11:03.185
- Shall swear by his name."
- 00:11:03.185 --> 00:11:05.387
- We are to cleave to god.
- 00:11:05.387 --> 00:11:07.022
- Does god say to us, "i want you to serve me with all of your
- 00:11:07.022 --> 00:11:09.925
- Heart, but if you find another god you love more than you love
- 00:11:09.925 --> 00:11:13.429
- Me, you're free to serve that god as well"?
- 00:11:13.429 --> 00:11:15.931
- No, you are to serve god and no others.
- 00:11:15.931 --> 00:11:19.401
- You're to cleave to him and him alone.
- 00:11:19.401 --> 00:11:22.071
- Jesus said that is the same kind of bond in a
- 00:11:22.071 --> 00:11:25.274
- Marriage relationship.
- 00:11:25.274 --> 00:11:27.376
- Every marriage is designed by god, our mates are custom-made
- 00:11:27.376 --> 00:11:31.280
- By god.
- 00:11:31.280 --> 00:11:32.615
- Not only that, marriage creates an unbreakable bond.
- 00:11:32.615 --> 00:11:35.751
- And then he gives a third reason: we're not to divorce.
- 00:11:35.751 --> 00:11:41.023
- Every marriage is orchestrated by god.
- 00:11:41.023 --> 00:11:43.859
- Look at verse 6, "so they are no longer two, but one flesh.
- 00:11:43.859 --> 00:11:49.131
- What therefore god has joined together, let no man separate."
- 00:11:49.131 --> 00:11:54.537
- Did you know god is the divine matchmaker?
- 00:11:54.537 --> 00:11:57.139
- He's the one who designed and orchestrated that
- 00:11:57.139 --> 00:12:00.409
- First marriage.
- 00:12:00.409 --> 00:12:01.744
- Genesis 2:22 says after he built eve, he brought the woman to
- 00:12:01.744 --> 00:12:08.517
- The man.
- 00:12:08.517 --> 00:12:09.852
- He's the one who brought them together.
- 00:12:09.852 --> 00:12:13.122
- Number two, what are the decisions that lead
- 00:12:13.122 --> 00:12:16.458
- To a marriage without regrets?
- 00:12:16.458 --> 00:12:18.727
- Number two, i will make my mate's happiness a priority.
- 00:12:18.727 --> 00:12:23.532
- I will make my mate's happiness a priority.
- 00:12:23.532 --> 00:12:27.469
- I read somewhere that only 17% of marriages can be classified
- 00:12:27.469 --> 00:12:32.575
- As truly happy marriages.
- 00:12:32.575 --> 00:12:35.911
- What's the root cause of unhappiness in marriage?
- 00:12:35.911 --> 00:12:39.548
- In a word, selfishness.
- 00:12:39.548 --> 00:12:43.085
- Whenever you have people in a relationship and both are intent
- 00:12:43.085 --> 00:12:48.390
- On getting their way every time, you're gonna have friction in
- 00:12:48.390 --> 00:12:52.862
- That relationship.
- 00:12:52.862 --> 00:12:54.630
- By the way, that's the cause of conflicts in churches.
- 00:12:54.630 --> 00:12:57.666
- It doesn't have anything to do with theology with
- 00:12:57.666 --> 00:12:59.702
- Most churches.
- 00:12:59.702 --> 00:13:01.036
- It's selfishness.
- 00:13:01.036 --> 00:13:02.938
- One group likes contemporary music, the other group likes
- 00:13:02.938 --> 00:13:06.942
- Traditional music.
- 00:13:06.942 --> 00:13:08.878
- Some people think the pastor ought to preach doctrinal
- 00:13:08.878 --> 00:13:11.580
- Messages only, other people think he ought to preach
- 00:13:11.580 --> 00:13:14.550
- Application-oriented messages.
- 00:13:14.550 --> 00:13:16.952
- One group thinks the sanctuary is too hot, others think it is
- 00:13:16.952 --> 00:13:20.890
- Too cold, and everybody wants his or her own way.
- 00:13:20.890 --> 00:13:25.027
- Whenever you have that, you're going to have friction in a
- 00:13:25.027 --> 00:13:29.565
- Marriage or a church.
- 00:13:29.565 --> 00:13:32.067
- In james 4:1, james says, "what is the source of quarrels and
- 00:13:32.067 --> 00:13:35.971
- Conflicts among you?
- 00:13:35.971 --> 00:13:37.373
- Is not the source your own pleasures, your desires, that
- 00:13:37.373 --> 00:13:41.210
- Wage war in your members?"
- 00:13:41.210 --> 00:13:43.913
- What's the antidote to selfishness?
- 00:13:43.913 --> 00:13:46.415
- It's putting other people's interest ahead of your own.
- 00:13:46.415 --> 00:13:50.786
- Remember what paul said in philippians 2, verses 3 and 4,
- 00:13:50.786 --> 00:13:54.590
- "do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility
- 00:13:54.590 --> 00:13:59.295
- Of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;
- 00:13:59.295 --> 00:14:03.832
- Do not merely look out for your own interest, but the interest
- 00:14:03.832 --> 00:14:07.269
- Of others as well."
- 00:14:07.269 --> 00:14:08.837
- And then he goes on to say, "have this attitude in
- 00:14:08.837 --> 00:14:11.573
- Yourselves that was in christ jesus, who although he existed
- 00:14:11.573 --> 00:14:15.678
- In the form of god, he did regard his equality with god a
- 00:14:15.678 --> 00:14:19.648
- Thing to be grasped, held on to, but he emptied himself, he
- 00:14:19.648 --> 00:14:23.285
- Became obedient to the point of death, even death on the cross."
- 00:14:23.285 --> 00:14:26.622
- Why did jesus leave the throne room of heaven and come
- 00:14:26.622 --> 00:14:30.159
- To earth?
- 00:14:30.159 --> 00:14:31.493
- It's not to meet his needs.
- 00:14:31.493 --> 00:14:32.995
- His needs were being met in heaven.
- 00:14:32.995 --> 00:14:34.797
- He had it all, but he was willing to give it all up to
- 00:14:34.797 --> 00:14:39.001
- Come and meet the needs we have.
- 00:14:39.001 --> 00:14:40.869
- He put our interests above his own and we're to carry that same
- 00:14:40.869 --> 00:14:46.442
- Attitude into the church.
- 00:14:46.442 --> 00:14:48.043
- That's the context of philippians 2, there was a
- 00:14:48.043 --> 00:14:51.213
- Schism going on in the philippian church.
- 00:14:51.213 --> 00:14:53.949
- You know what the ironic thing is?
- 00:14:53.949 --> 00:14:55.818
- When we decide we're gonna have our way or the highway,
- 00:14:55.818 --> 00:14:59.388
- It doesn't make us happy,
- 00:14:59.388 --> 00:15:00.889
- It just creates conflict that makes both parties miserable.
- 00:15:00.889 --> 00:15:05.094
- But when you put the interest of your mate, your mate's
- 00:15:05.094 --> 00:15:08.497
- Happiness, above your own, it not only creates happiness in
- 00:15:08.497 --> 00:15:12.801
- Them, it makes for a pleasant marriage as well.
- 00:15:12.801 --> 00:15:15.871
- One key for a regret-free marriage is making your mate's
- 00:15:15.871 --> 00:15:19.908
- Happiness a priority.
- 00:15:19.908 --> 00:15:22.311
- Decision number three, and this is so important, i will refrain
- 00:15:22.311 --> 00:15:27.149
- From using hurtful words with my mate.
- 00:15:27.149 --> 00:15:31.553
- I read somewhere that for every negative comment you make to a
- 00:15:31.553 --> 00:15:36.525
- Family member, it takes four positive comments to reverse the
- 00:15:36.525 --> 00:15:40.996
- Effects of that one negative comment.
- 00:15:40.996 --> 00:15:44.066
- I don't believe that.
- 00:15:44.066 --> 00:15:46.935
- I don't believe you ever reverse the effects of hurtful speech.
- 00:15:46.935 --> 00:15:52.307
- Hurtful speech, those daggers that you know hurt your mate,
- 00:15:52.307 --> 00:15:57.780
- It's like putting a nail in a wall.
- 00:15:57.780 --> 00:16:01.183
- You can remove the nail, but the hole remains and that's the same
- 00:16:01.183 --> 00:16:06.355
- With hurtful words that we speak.
- 00:16:06.355 --> 00:16:08.757
- That's why we need to be very careful about the things we say
- 00:16:08.757 --> 00:16:12.795
- To our mate.
- 00:16:12.795 --> 00:16:14.163
- In james 3:6, the writer says, "the tongue is a fire, the very
- 00:16:14.163 --> 00:16:17.966
- World of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that
- 00:16:17.966 --> 00:16:22.237
- Which defiles the entire body and sets on fire the course of
- 00:16:22.237 --> 00:16:26.608
- Our life and is set on fire by hell."
- 00:16:26.608 --> 00:16:29.845
- Just as one spark can destroy an entire forest, so one hurtful
- 00:16:29.845 --> 00:16:34.783
- Word can destroy the spirit of a marriage.
- 00:16:34.783 --> 00:16:39.521
- How do you keep from doing that?
- 00:16:39.521 --> 00:16:41.523
- Use a filter.
- 00:16:41.523 --> 00:16:43.392
- Use a filter through which to think through what you're going
- 00:16:43.392 --> 00:16:47.062
- To say to your mate before you say it.
- 00:16:47.062 --> 00:16:49.031
- You can never retrieve something that you've said.
- 00:16:49.031 --> 00:16:52.167
- The filter is found in ephesians 4:29.
- 00:16:52.167 --> 00:16:55.671
- Paul wrote, "let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth,
- 00:16:55.671 --> 00:17:00.109
- But only such a word as is good for edification according to the
- 00:17:00.109 --> 00:17:04.246
- Need of the moment, that it will give grace to those who
- 00:17:04.246 --> 00:17:07.983
- Hear it."
- 00:17:07.983 --> 00:17:09.351
- Think before you speak.
- 00:17:09.351 --> 00:17:12.488
- The great bible teacher alan j. redpath uses that word, think,
- 00:17:12.488 --> 00:17:17.059
- As an acrostic for five questions to ask before you say
- 00:17:17.059 --> 00:17:22.264
- Anything, especially to your mate.
- 00:17:22.264 --> 00:17:24.700
- The t in think stands for true.
- 00:17:24.700 --> 00:17:28.036
- Is what you're saying true?
- 00:17:28.036 --> 00:17:30.005
- In ephesians 4, paul said, "lay aside all falsehood."
- 00:17:30.005 --> 00:17:33.509
- That means also things you say to your mate.
- 00:17:33.509 --> 00:17:36.311
- Is it true that you never do anything to help me around
- 00:17:36.311 --> 00:17:40.349
- The house?
- 00:17:40.349 --> 00:17:42.251
- Is it true to say you always have something negative to say
- 00:17:42.251 --> 00:17:46.221
- To me?
- 00:17:46.221 --> 00:17:47.556
- Words that begin with always and never are usually false.
- 00:17:47.556 --> 00:17:52.127
- It's not accurate.
- 00:17:52.127 --> 00:17:53.595
- Be sure what you're saying is true.
- 00:17:53.595 --> 00:17:55.898
- The h stands for helpful.
- 00:17:55.898 --> 00:17:57.966
- Our goal ought to be to help our mate, not to hinder him or her.
- 00:17:57.966 --> 00:18:02.804
- Number three, the i stands for inspiring.
- 00:18:02.804 --> 00:18:05.841
- Paul says our word should edify the other person.
- 00:18:05.841 --> 00:18:09.044
- That word, edify, oikodomé, means to build up.
- 00:18:09.044 --> 00:18:13.649
- Is what you're saying something that is building up your mate or
- 00:18:13.649 --> 00:18:17.319
- Tearing him or her down?
- 00:18:17.319 --> 00:18:19.588
- The n in think stands for necessary.
- 00:18:19.588 --> 00:18:22.591
- Paul says, "only speak according to the need of the moment."
- 00:18:22.591 --> 00:18:27.863
- Let me tell you a simple truth that i'm learning--trying to
- 00:18:27.863 --> 00:18:31.700
- Learn more and more.
- 00:18:31.700 --> 00:18:33.068
- Not every thought has to be expressed.
- 00:18:33.068 --> 00:18:37.139
- You know, everything that comes into your mind doesn't need to
- 00:18:37.139 --> 00:18:40.042
- Be verbalized, necessarily.
- 00:18:40.042 --> 00:18:42.277
- That's what paul says, "only speak according to the need of
- 00:18:42.277 --> 00:18:46.515
- The moment necessary."
- 00:18:46.515 --> 00:18:48.283
- And k stands for kind.
- 00:18:48.283 --> 00:18:50.352
- Is what you're saying kind?
- 00:18:50.352 --> 00:18:53.255
- That is, even if it's a confrontation that's necessary,
- 00:18:53.255 --> 00:18:57.125
- Is it in the spirit of grace and kindness?
- 00:18:57.125 --> 00:19:00.128
- Ephesians 4:32 says, "be kind to one another, tenderhearted,
- 00:19:00.128 --> 00:19:05.834
- Forgiving one another just as god in christ has forgiven you."
- 00:19:05.834 --> 00:19:10.939
- And then decision number four to build a regret-free marriage: i
- 00:19:10.939 --> 00:19:16.078
- Will build memories, pleasant memories, with my mate.
- 00:19:16.078 --> 00:19:20.782
- I will build memories with my mate.
- 00:19:20.782 --> 00:19:22.417
- A happily married couple was once asked the secret of their
- 00:19:22.417 --> 00:19:25.988
- Happiness in marriage.
- 00:19:25.988 --> 00:19:27.356
- The husband spoke up quickly.
- 00:19:27.356 --> 00:19:28.690
- He said, "i'll tell you the secret to happiness.
- 00:19:28.690 --> 00:19:31.260
- We dine out twice a week.
- 00:19:31.260 --> 00:19:33.595
- Champagne, violins, candlelight.
- 00:19:33.595 --> 00:19:38.734
- Her night is tuesday, mine is thursday."
- 00:19:38.734 --> 00:19:44.806
- Now, a lot of couples live that way.
- 00:19:44.806 --> 00:19:48.043
- They just live separate lives.
- 00:19:48.043 --> 00:19:49.778
- That was never god's plan.
- 00:19:49.778 --> 00:19:51.713
- Now, that doesn't mean you have to do everything together.
- 00:19:51.713 --> 00:19:53.882
- Remember, your mate's opposite you, they're not to be like you.
- 00:19:53.882 --> 00:19:57.252
- Just because you enjoy playing golf doesn't mean your mate
- 00:19:57.252 --> 00:20:00.088
- Wants to swing a 9 iron.
- 00:20:00.088 --> 00:20:02.457
- They may enjoy opera, doesn't mean you have to salivate over
- 00:20:02.457 --> 00:20:07.462
- "madame butterfly."
- 00:20:07.462 --> 00:20:08.797
- You don't need to be alike in everything, but you've got to
- 00:20:08.797 --> 00:20:12.000
- Spend some time together.
- 00:20:12.000 --> 00:20:14.036
- That's why god made marriage, for companionship.
- 00:20:14.036 --> 00:20:18.073
- And yet, many people miss that point.
- 00:20:18.073 --> 00:20:20.542
- In ecclesiastes 9, verse 9, solomon spoke wise words when he
- 00:20:20.542 --> 00:20:24.846
- Said, "enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of
- 00:20:24.846 --> 00:20:30.419
- Your fleeting life which he has given to you under the sun, for
- 00:20:30.419 --> 00:20:35.057
- This is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have
- 00:20:35.057 --> 00:20:39.194
- Labored under the sun."
- 00:20:39.194 --> 00:20:41.930
- I see so many couples that are just marking time, waiting for
- 00:20:41.930 --> 00:20:48.670
- Their child to get out of diapers, waiting for their
- 00:20:48.670 --> 00:20:51.139
- Children to get out of school, waiting for their children to
- 00:20:51.139 --> 00:20:53.775
- Graduate, waiting for the mortgage to be paid off, waiting
- 00:20:53.775 --> 00:20:58.447
- For the retirement years to come, waiting, waiting,
- 00:20:58.447 --> 00:21:01.817
- Waiting, waiting.
- 00:21:01.817 --> 00:21:03.618
- And one day, they awaken and realize most of their life is
- 00:21:03.618 --> 00:21:07.189
- Already gone, or there's a tragedy they experience the loss
- 00:21:07.189 --> 00:21:11.393
- Of their mate and they are filled with regrets.
- 00:21:11.393 --> 00:21:15.497
- Solomon says don't make that mistake.
- 00:21:15.497 --> 00:21:18.700
- Is there a hobby you'd like to do with your mate?
- 00:21:18.700 --> 00:21:20.635
- Start it today.
- 00:21:20.635 --> 00:21:22.237
- Is there a trip you've been dreaming of taking together?
- 00:21:22.237 --> 00:21:24.940
- Go ahead and go today while you're still able.
- 00:21:24.940 --> 00:21:27.376
- If you have to borrow the money, do so.
- 00:21:27.376 --> 00:21:29.144
- There is no promise that you're going to have a tomorrow.
- 00:21:29.144 --> 00:21:34.516
- I've dealt with lots of people.
- 00:21:34.516 --> 00:21:37.552
- I've tried to minister to people, some of you who have
- 00:21:37.552 --> 00:21:40.021
- Lost their mate, and there's nothing, nothing that can erase
- 00:21:40.021 --> 00:21:45.160
- The grief you feel when you lose a life partner.
- 00:21:45.160 --> 00:21:49.131
- But i've seen that those who deal best with grief are those
- 00:21:49.131 --> 00:21:53.969
- Who have a storehouse, a museum of memories they can draw from,
- 00:21:53.969 --> 00:21:58.373
- With their mate.
- 00:21:58.373 --> 00:22:00.475
- Not long ago, i conducted a funeral service for a man who
- 00:22:00.475 --> 00:22:03.612
- Had suddenly dropped dead of a heart attack.
- 00:22:03.612 --> 00:22:07.416
- And, as i usually do, i stood at the head of the casket as people
- 00:22:07.416 --> 00:22:12.354
- Passed by to pay their respects.
- 00:22:12.354 --> 00:22:14.956
- And as usual, the wife, the mate, was the last person to
- 00:22:14.956 --> 00:22:19.361
- Pass by and she looked into the face of the person to whom she
- 00:22:19.361 --> 00:22:23.365
- Had loved for more than 50 years and she began to
- 00:22:23.365 --> 00:22:28.770
- Sob uncontrollably.
- 00:22:28.770 --> 00:22:32.240
- And, you know, i should have been thinking just about that
- 00:22:32.240 --> 00:22:35.977
- Woman, but i couldn't help but ask myself the question, if i
- 00:22:35.977 --> 00:22:41.016
- Face that same circumstance, and there's a 50/50 chance i'll
- 00:22:41.016 --> 00:22:44.886
- Outlive my mate, if i face that same situation, how am i
- 00:22:44.886 --> 00:22:50.459
- Gonna feel?
- 00:22:50.459 --> 00:22:52.828
- How are you going to feel if you face that situation?
- 00:22:52.828 --> 00:22:57.766
- You know, nothing will erase the pain of the loss of a mate, but
- 00:22:57.766 --> 00:23:01.203
- I've committed, and i hope you'll join me in committing, to
- 00:23:01.203 --> 00:23:04.406
- Making these four biblical commitments that will ensure
- 00:23:04.406 --> 00:23:09.611
- A marriage without regret.
- 00:23:09.611 --> 00:23:13.448
- Jeffress: these four biblical commitments will transform
- 00:23:17.619 --> 00:23:20.655
- Any marriage.
- 00:23:20.655 --> 00:23:22.891
- Well, i'm pleased to tell you that this has been another
- 00:23:22.891 --> 00:23:26.228
- Record-setting season of growth for "pathway to victory."
- 00:23:26.228 --> 00:23:30.065
- In fact, in recent months, we've expanded our television coverage
- 00:23:30.065 --> 00:23:34.236
- In 50 new cities including boston, cleveland, detroit,
- 00:23:34.236 --> 00:23:39.074
- Minneapolis, saint paul, seattle, anchorage, and
- 00:23:39.074 --> 00:23:42.210
- Las vegas.
- 00:23:42.210 --> 00:23:43.645
- Our goal through all this growth is not to lift up the
- 00:23:43.645 --> 00:23:46.281
- Name of "pathway to victory" or robert jeffress, but to bring
- 00:23:46.281 --> 00:23:50.318
- Biblical hope and truth to a world that desperately needs it.
- 00:23:50.318 --> 00:23:55.390
- So please, keep up the good work so that we can continue to
- 00:23:55.390 --> 00:23:59.628
- Pierce the darkness with the light of god's word.
- 00:23:59.628 --> 00:24:02.898
- Now, please stay right there, i'll be back with more "pathway
- 00:24:02.898 --> 00:24:06.001
- To victory" in just a moment.
- 00:24:06.001 --> 00:24:09.070
- Male announcer: what if your doctor were to say you had only
- 00:24:09.137 --> 00:24:11.673
- Six months left to live?
- 00:24:11.673 --> 00:24:13.375
- Would you have any regrets in your life?
- 00:24:13.375 --> 00:24:15.510
- In his best selling book, "say goodbye to regret," dr.
- 00:24:15.510 --> 00:24:18.647
- Robert jeffress shares biblical principles for dealing with
- 00:24:18.647 --> 00:24:21.583
- Regrets from your past and preventing regrets in
- 00:24:21.583 --> 00:24:24.319
- The future.
- 00:24:24.319 --> 00:24:25.687
- Jeffress: regret is one of life's most painful and
- 00:24:25.687 --> 00:24:28.690
- Unnecessary emotions.
- 00:24:28.690 --> 00:24:30.559
- And in my best selling book, "say goodbye to regret," i'll
- 00:24:30.559 --> 00:24:33.828
- Help you turn those if-onlys into successful lessons
- 00:24:33.828 --> 00:24:37.933
- In living.
- 00:24:37.933 --> 00:24:39.301
- Announcer: it's time to move forward satisfied with
- 00:24:39.301 --> 00:24:42.070
- The life you're living.
- 00:24:42.070 --> 00:24:43.438
- Request your copy of "say goodbye to regret" when you give
- 00:24:43.438 --> 00:24:45.840
- A generous gift to "pathway to victory."
- 00:24:45.840 --> 00:24:48.443
- In the pages of this highly practical book, you'll discover
- 00:24:48.443 --> 00:24:51.746
- The biblical keys to leaving behind regrets about
- 00:24:51.746 --> 00:24:54.416
- Relationships, your marriage, finances, and more.
- 00:24:54.416 --> 00:24:58.019
- And when you give $75 or more, we'll also send you the complete
- 00:24:58.019 --> 00:25:03.291
- "say goodbye to regret" teaching series
- 00:25:03.291 --> 00:25:05.393
- On dvd video and mp3 format audio disc.
- 00:25:05.393 --> 00:25:09.598
- Jeffress: one of the heaviest weights other than sin
- 00:25:09.664 --> 00:25:12.801
- Is regret.
- 00:25:12.801 --> 00:25:14.302
- Regrets are not the problem in and of themselves.
- 00:25:14.302 --> 00:25:16.938
- They are an indicator of a problem that needs to be
- 00:25:16.938 --> 00:25:20.442
- Dealt with.
- 00:25:20.442 --> 00:25:22.010
- Announcer: thank you for helping "pathway to victory"
- 00:25:22.010 --> 00:25:24.179
- Proclaim the redemptive power of jesus christ to a world in need.
- 00:25:24.179 --> 00:25:28.383
- Together, we are broadcasting the message of god's love
- 00:25:28.383 --> 00:25:31.553
- And forgiveness, biblical hope, and life transforming power
- 00:25:31.553 --> 00:25:35.056
- Across the country and around the world.
- 00:25:35.056 --> 00:25:37.659
- Jeffress: maybe i've spoken to someone today who needs to make
- 00:25:39.494 --> 00:25:42.430
- Some, or all, of these four commitments.
- 00:25:42.430 --> 00:25:45.667
- Don't let another day pass without making a resolve
- 00:25:45.667 --> 00:25:49.204
- To change.
- 00:25:49.204 --> 00:25:50.538
- You will never regret investing more time and effort into
- 00:25:50.538 --> 00:25:54.743
- Your marriage.
- 00:25:54.743 --> 00:25:56.311
- Well, few topics are more practical than the issue
- 00:25:56.311 --> 00:25:59.247
- Of forgiveness.
- 00:25:59.247 --> 00:26:00.649
- And next time i'm going to share three principles to help you
- 00:26:00.649 --> 00:26:03.718
- Exercise genuine biblical forgiveness in your life.
- 00:26:03.718 --> 00:26:08.890
- Stay tuned for a preview of what's coming up next in our
- 00:26:08.890 --> 00:26:11.359
- Series, "say goodbye to regret."
- 00:26:11.359 --> 00:26:15.730
- Jeffress: earning forgiveness is really impossible when you think
- 00:26:15.797 --> 00:26:18.633
- About it.
- 00:26:18.633 --> 00:26:20.001
- Remember what jesus said in the sermon on the mount?
- 00:26:20.001 --> 00:26:22.504
- "you've heard it say, "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a
- 00:26:22.504 --> 00:26:25.807
- Tooth," but i say to you, don't resist the one who does evil,"
- 00:26:25.807 --> 00:26:29.244
- And so forth.
- 00:26:29.244 --> 00:26:30.578
- You know, we think of that as a barbaric rule, an eye for an
- 00:26:30.578 --> 00:26:33.982
- Eye, a tooth for a tooth, but really, it was a law.
- 00:26:33.982 --> 00:26:37.986
- We call it lex talionis, the law of retribution, that was given
- 00:26:37.986 --> 00:26:42.490
- To keep order in society.
- 00:26:42.490 --> 00:26:45.593
- Male announcer: set your dvr and join us next time for the
- 00:26:45.593 --> 00:26:48.063
- Message, "say goodbye to relationship regrets" here on
- 00:26:48.063 --> 00:26:52.033
- "pathway to victory."
- 00:26:52.033 --> 00:26:54.469
- Announcer: take a journey through alaska's awe inspiring
- 00:26:56.171 --> 00:26:58.640
- Wilderness on the 2026 "pathway to victory" cruise to alaska.
- 00:26:58.640 --> 00:27:02.577
- ♪♪♪
- 00:27:02.577 --> 00:27:13.988
- Announcer: make plans to set sail for an
- 00:27:10.585 --> 00:27:15.623
- Unforgettable week of adventure, june 13 through 20, 2026.
- 00:27:15.623 --> 00:27:20.195
- Call...
- 00:27:20.195 --> 00:27:23.298
- Or visit ptv.org.
- 00:27:23.298 --> 00:27:23.298