Gary Chapman and Les & Leslie Parrott: The Love Language That Matters Most

January 10, 2026 | 29:33

Gary Chapman and Les & Leslie Parrott discuss the new book The Love Language That Matters the Most.

#Author #Relationships #Marriage #Communication #PersonalStory #Husband #Wife

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| Gary Chapman and Les & Leslie Parrott: The Love Language That Matters Most | January 10, 2026

Like, a way that people like to see, love and receive?
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Physical touch,
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Acts of service
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Quality time.
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Gifts.
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I think my mom█s love language is, gifts.
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It make her feel special every time i give her flowers.
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An example of how i speak
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My loved ones love languages is with acts of service.
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I would say quality of time.
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Time is important.
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We have to give them.
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My husband's love language
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I think it's words of affirmation.
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I didn█t know that.
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I guess... not really.
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I didn't really know
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About the personal dialects or accents,
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But now that i think about it, i like to have my words
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Written down.
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Save me time. yeah.
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Because, like, i do so much stuff and i'm like,
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You can just do this and you can save me time just to relax.
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Or something.
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His top one.
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Came up as touch.
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Probably comforting,
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I don't know,
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Comforting.. he has to answer that
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Playful. (laughter)
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Oh, okay.
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The love language that matters most.
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So, my love language is words of affirmation.
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And mine is physical touch.
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My number one love language is quality time.
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Mine is acts of service.
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My love language is acts of service.
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My love language is physical touch.
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My primary love language is physical touch.
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My top one is words of affirmation.
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You said yours was...
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Oh, touch and mine affirmation.
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My main primary love language is gift giving.
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Receiving gifts.
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The one that's kind of on the lower scale is gifts.
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I don't mind gifts.
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It was funny, i read this.
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I thought every time i come in and i, you know, tell you
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I love you and tell you what i appreciate about you.
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And all you really want for me is to, like, scratch your head.
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You know.
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Yeah, like
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Scratches my head, you know, like little head scratches.
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Like, if i'm rubbing his scalp, he'll, like, purr.
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Yeah. i mean, there's all types of.
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Yeah, there's all types of, physical touch.
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Touch in itself is just a normal response, but
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A touch with connection means a totally different thing to me.
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Both of us do have words of affirmation as,
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A foreign love language for us.
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I'm still pondering that, honestly.
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He just said, wait, what's mine?
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We literally just talked about it for an hour.
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So we're going to go back to the assessment.
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We're going to study it on the way home.
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My love language is... what is it?.
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Drawing a blank.
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Through the years, people have asked me, dr. chapman,
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You think there's only five love languages?
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And i say, well, i've never been dogmatic about that,
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But i'll tell you how i discovered
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The five love languages
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When someone said, i feel like my spouse doesn't love me.
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And i had many, many, many who said that.
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I asked myself, what did they want?
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What were they complaining about?
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And their answers fell into five categories.
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And i later called them the five love languages.
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And i've started using it in my counseling,
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Helping couples discover each other's love language.
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And they would come back rather shortly
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And say, gary, this is changing everything.
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The climate's different now,
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But i have had other suggestions.
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One man said, dr. chapman, the six love languages
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Chocolate.
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I said, well, if they bought it, it's a gift.
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If they made it, it's an act of service.
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So, so far, what people have suggested
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I have seen as a dialect of one of these languages.
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And that's why i think the new book, the love language
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That matters most, which deals with the dialects,
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Is going to help even more people be effective
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In communicating love in a meaningful way.
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The love language that matters most is upon us.
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I feel like you need to kind of,
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First of all, say happy new year
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To our audience and then set the stage
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For what we're going to unpack and get into, here.
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With all
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These new year's resolutions and all that kind of stuff.
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All right.
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Well, happy new year.
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You know, i will never forget the day
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It first dawned on me that what makes one person
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Feel loved doesn't make another person feel loved.
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They were sitting in my office.
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I found out they've been married to each other 30 years.
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Okay.
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And the wife said after we talked a bit.
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Well, dr. chapman
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I'm just going to tell you the main problem.
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I just don't feel any love coming from him.
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And she said,
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We're like roommates living in the same house.
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You know, he does his thing. i do my thing.
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We're not controversial.
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It's just
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I'm empty and i don't know how long i can go on like this.
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And i looked at her husband and he said,
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I don't understand her.
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I do everything i can to show her that i love her.
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I said, what do you do to show her that you love her?
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He said, well, i get home before she does.
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I start the evening meal.
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Sometimes i have it ready when she gets home.
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If not, she'll help me.
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And after we eat, i wash the dishes every night.
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On thursday, i vacuum the floor.
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On saturday, he said, i wash the car, i mow the grass.
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I help her with the laundry. and he went on.
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I was beginning to wonder, what does this woman do? yeah.
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Sounded to me like he was doing everything.
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And i look back at her and she said, he's right.
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He's a hard working man, but we don't ever talk.
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We haven't talked in 20 years.
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He's always mowing the grass,
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Washing the dishes, vacuuming floors.
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And i realized here was a sincere husband.
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He was loving his wife,
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But it wasn't connecting with her emotionally.
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And after that,
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I heard similar stories over and over in my office.
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And eventually i saw, you know, there's got to be
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A pattern to this, but i had no idea what it was
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Until i took time to sit down and read several
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Years of notes that i made when i was counseling,
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And asked myself the question.
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When someone said, i feel like my spouse doesn't love me.
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What did they want?
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And the answer fell into five categories
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I later call them the five love languages.
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And i started using that
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In my counseling. if you want her to feel love
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You've got to speak her language.
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You want him to feel love.
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You got to speak his language.
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And they would come back in a couple of weeks and say, gary,
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This is beginning to change things.
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The climate's different now.
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And then i started teaching it in small groups in my church.
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And the same thing would happen probably five years later.
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I thought, you know, if i could put this concept in a book,
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Write it in the language of the common person,
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Leave out psychological terms
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And even theological terms that people would not understand.
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Maybe i could help a lot
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Of couples that i would never have time to see in my office.
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Little did i know that the book would sell.
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Now, over 20 million copies
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Be published in over 50 languages all over the world.
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And many, many people.
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Every time i do a conference, they say, dr. chapman
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20 years ago or 15 years ago, that book saved our marriage.
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We were at the point of giving up.
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We read it, the lights came on.
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We realized they were missing each other
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And it just saved our marriage.
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So it's been absolutely incredible.
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But along the way, also, i've had people say to me, gary,
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How does the love language relate to people's personality?
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And, i said, well, i'm sure it does,
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But i've never done a deep dive into that, you know?
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And i just kept hearing that.
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And along the way,
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I remember my friend, les parrott, leslie parrott.
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And i thought, hey this guy
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He's good at this kind of stuff, you know?
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So we chatted about this,
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And then i asked him to team up with me and,
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We did a premium assessment, first of all.
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And it's on at five love languages.com,
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In which it gives the person's primary love language,
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But it also deals with the whole issue
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Of personality and how that relates.
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And then another big factor was sometimes people
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Are speaking the right language, but it's the wrong dialect.
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And i mentioned dialects
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In the original book, but i didn't go into it, you know.
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So what we're doing in this book that les and leslie,
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It really, really been a big part of doing is also helping
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People understand the primary dialect of that language.
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So they're going to tell you about it.
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I'm excited about it.
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I think this book's going to be even more effective in helping
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People genuinely meet each other's emotional need for love.
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The love language that matters most.
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You guys are, the same size
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Font there on the, the author stuff,
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So you better have something good to say, les.
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Wow you're really competitive.
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Where does this go from the original?
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Well, let's first of all, address the title,
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The love language that matters most. right.
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All of our viewers are going well. which one is it?
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Is it mine?
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You know, is it jesus's love language?
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Which one matters most?
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And the truth
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Is that the love language that matters most is
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The love language of the person you're in front of. right?
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Right now. right. wow. and that might be your spouse.
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It might be your kids.
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It might be your parents.
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It might be a friend. right? right.
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But that's where we start is because.
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And we've known gary for a long, long time.
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And pretty much since the book came out
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And we had books coming out at the same time, ours didn't sell
00:10:12.868 --> 00:10:16.672
20 million.
00:10:16.672 --> 00:10:19.141
Yeah.
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By the way, i
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Just have to say, has anybody in the last 30 years
00:10:25.347 --> 00:10:28.984
Been more effective at meeting the needs of more couples
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Than this man, right? right.
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It's incredible. we need to celebrate that.
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Yeah. so, but, yeah.
00:10:36.258 --> 00:10:38.494
So we
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We really wanted to get into this idea of helping gary
00:10:39.628 --> 00:10:43.065
Poll this question that you get more than any other.
00:10:43.065 --> 00:10:46.669
Right. how does personality factor into it?
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And then how do we really unpack the dialects.
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Right.
00:10:51.707 --> 00:10:52.742
Because we were missing each other on our own
00:10:52.742 --> 00:10:53.776
Love languages. bcause there's a lot of nuance.
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I mean, and here█s the thing that happens.
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It wasn't gary's intention,
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But often when we learn about the love languages,
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What we really internalize is my love language, right?
00:11:04.086 --> 00:11:09.024
And we get really good
00:11:09.024 --> 00:11:10.793
At understanding what we need to feel most loved.
00:11:10.793 --> 00:11:13.896
We're pretty good at pointing out, hey, you're not meeting.
00:11:13.896 --> 00:11:17.266
You're not speaking, my love. exactly.
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And that's that's just the human temptation.
00:11:19.235 --> 00:11:22.104
This focuses on becoming expert at the language of the person
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We're loving. right.
00:11:26.742 --> 00:11:28.144
And just like learning any language,
00:11:28.144 --> 00:11:30.746
There are a lot of nuances to that.
00:11:30.746 --> 00:11:32.448
I mean, if, if any of you have tried,
00:11:32.448 --> 00:11:34.316
Like me, later in life, to pick up another language
00:11:34.316 --> 00:11:37.286
For travel purposes or just to be a little more exotic
00:11:37.286 --> 00:11:40.589
And failed at it as miserably as i have,
00:11:40.589 --> 00:11:44.093
Then you realize, fail. oh yeah.
00:11:44.093 --> 00:11:46.395
I'm going to go to italy in three months.
00:11:46.395 --> 00:11:48.197
So why don't we learn italian?
00:11:48.197 --> 00:11:49.765
Exactly. we went to one class.
00:11:49.765 --> 00:11:51.834
That's it. paid for the whole thing.
00:11:51.834 --> 00:11:53.836
Thanks. duolingo.
00:11:53.836 --> 00:11:54.770
Yeah, and of course, this isn't that isn't
00:11:54.770 --> 00:11:57.106
To make this intimidating, but it is to say it's not just.
00:11:57.106 --> 00:12:01.210
Oh, okay, now i know what yours is or what mine is.
00:12:01.210 --> 00:12:04.346
Easy done. yeah. yeah.
00:12:04.346 --> 00:12:10.853
Our first date was quite memorable
00:12:11.587 --> 00:12:13.355
Because jono expresses his love in a very extravagant way.
00:12:13.355 --> 00:12:17.359
So extravagant that i wasn't sure if i should go.
00:12:17.359 --> 00:12:20.095
I, of course, said yes.
00:12:20.095 --> 00:12:21.597
It took a little pushing from some of my friends
00:12:21.597 --> 00:12:23.866
Because it was so extravagant.
00:12:23.866 --> 00:12:25.868
I don't like people touching me that much.
00:12:25.868 --> 00:12:28.671
I don't know, for me to go to a massage it█d just be weird.
00:12:28.671 --> 00:12:31.507
Maybe something traumatic
00:12:31.507 --> 00:12:32.775
Happened in childhood that i'm aware of.
00:12:32.775 --> 00:12:40.349
None needed.
00:12:40.649 --> 00:12:41.917
I mean, if you give it, it's.
00:12:41.917 --> 00:12:42.885
It's great.
00:12:42.885 --> 00:12:43.652
Certain friendships had conflict
00:12:43.652 --> 00:12:45.688
Where people really wanted more quality time.
00:12:45.688 --> 00:12:48.090
And then i'm over here, like, sending them, like,
00:12:48.090 --> 00:12:50.326
Little poems.
00:12:50.326 --> 00:12:51.560
My primary love language, as you know, is is physical touch.
00:12:51.560 --> 00:12:55.264
And it's maria's least.
00:12:55.264 --> 00:12:57.433
I'm always reminding her. i'm always like, okay, come here.
00:12:57.433 --> 00:12:59.702
I'll like. i'll start the physical touch.
00:12:59.702 --> 00:13:01.437
Yeah. to get it in return sometimes.
00:13:01.437 --> 00:13:03.639
He had invited me and a couple of my friends
00:13:03.639 --> 00:13:06.242
To put us up in a really beautiful hotel
00:13:06.242 --> 00:13:08.811
And treated us girls to a spa day.
00:13:08.811 --> 00:13:11.013
I came round to meet them
00:13:11.013 --> 00:13:12.414
The following morning and bought jasmine
00:13:12.414 --> 00:13:14.550
Some iv water like to hydrate, and that seemed to be the thing
00:13:14.550 --> 00:13:18.954
That stuck out after all the other things that we did.
00:13:18.954 --> 00:13:20.623
It was the the bottle of water in the morning.
00:13:20.623 --> 00:13:22.892
It was the fact that you were thinking about me in that way.
00:13:22.892 --> 00:13:25.461
It just kind of took me off guard.
00:13:25.461 --> 00:13:27.296
Maria said to me, you know my love language, right?
00:13:27.296 --> 00:13:30.199
And like, okay, i think i need.
00:13:30.199 --> 00:13:33.135
And it's it's an easy one.
00:13:33.135 --> 00:13:34.470
So as a single person,
00:13:34.470 --> 00:13:35.604
I really want to learn how can i love people better?
00:13:35.604 --> 00:13:38.807
After 51 years of marriage.
00:13:38.807 --> 00:13:40.876
We're still learning to speak each other's love
00:13:40.876 --> 00:13:43.012
Language, aren't we?
00:13:43.012 --> 00:13:46.515
I understand that a lot of people
00:13:47.182 --> 00:13:51.020
Have these nuances, and i think that that's really what
00:13:51.020 --> 00:13:54.924
The love language that matters most,
00:13:54.924 --> 00:13:58.694
Really kind of delves into.
00:13:58.694 --> 00:14:00.296
But a lot of times.
00:14:00.296 --> 00:14:03.499
Doctor chapman, i was feeling like eddie
00:14:03.499 --> 00:14:08.237
Haskell from the, you know, leave it to beaver series, and,
00:14:08.237 --> 00:14:12.074
And and i knew that her love language
00:14:12.074 --> 00:14:15.678
Was words of affirmation, or i thought it was,
00:14:15.678 --> 00:14:18.280
You know that?
00:14:18.280 --> 00:14:19.181
Well, i thought it well,
00:14:19.181 --> 00:14:21.817
Apparently i don't. okay.
00:14:21.817 --> 00:14:24.119
But what she was telling me
00:14:24.119 --> 00:14:27.056
And what her assessment
00:14:27.056 --> 00:14:28.857
That you may bring out here in a little bit was proving
00:14:28.857 --> 00:14:32.061
Is that she didn't even know what her love language was,
00:14:32.061 --> 00:14:34.530
But she was telling me it was words of affirmation.
00:14:34.530 --> 00:14:37.533
This book clarified
00:14:37.533 --> 00:14:42.404
The practicality
00:14:42.771 --> 00:14:44.940
Of what i understood from the original book.
00:14:44.940 --> 00:14:47.810
Okay.
00:14:47.810 --> 00:14:48.744
20 million readers later and 50 languages.
00:14:48.744 --> 00:14:52.982
And i think everyone
00:14:52.982 --> 00:14:54.149
Needs to order this one, because it feels like
00:14:54.149 --> 00:14:57.920
If your brain works the way my brain works
00:14:57.920 --> 00:15:00.356
And i do have a brain and i get an opinion. he█s talking to les.
00:15:00.356 --> 00:15:04.360
Why are you looking at me?
00:15:04.360 --> 00:15:05.227
I don't know, i don't listen to you
00:15:05.227 --> 00:15:07.029
Because you're just naturally a selfish person.
00:15:07.029 --> 00:15:10.432
You said so in your own book.
00:15:11.066 --> 00:15:13.535
You have literally knocked it out of the park.
00:15:13.535 --> 00:15:16.972
I'm serious.
00:15:17.272 --> 00:15:18.807
You talk about feeling like there's a fresh thing
00:15:18.807 --> 00:15:22.111
For this fresh year.
00:15:22.111 --> 00:15:23.545
And, dear god, we all need something fresh in our lives,
00:15:23.545 --> 00:15:27.216
And and, you know, so bringing this out at this time.
00:15:27.216 --> 00:15:30.919
Bless your hearts.
00:15:31.353 --> 00:15:33.088
Thank you for doing it.
00:15:33.088 --> 00:15:34.690
First of all, let me just go to you real quick.
00:15:34.690 --> 00:15:37.726
What do you think you've done with this book?
00:15:37.726 --> 00:15:39.895
What do you think you've done to the original?
00:15:39.895 --> 00:15:42.531
Well, it's this is, kind of the next, step, right?
00:15:42.531 --> 00:15:47.369
It's not like. oh, you don't need the.
00:15:47.369 --> 00:15:49.805
We call it the purple book, right?
00:15:49.805 --> 00:15:51.106
And, it's not like we're saying that.
00:15:51.106 --> 00:15:53.742
No, that's like 101.
00:15:53.742 --> 00:15:55.778
This is kind of taking it
00:15:55.778 --> 00:15:57.346
The next step and really making it easy.
00:15:57.346 --> 00:16:01.316
Have you ever had this experience
00:16:01.316 --> 00:16:02.518
Where you feel like, hey, i'm speaking your love language?
00:16:02.518 --> 00:16:04.820
Why isn't your love tank full? yeah. right.
00:16:04.820 --> 00:16:07.389
And let me give you an example.
00:16:07.389 --> 00:16:09.091
Leslie's words of affirmation.
00:16:09.091 --> 00:16:11.060
Is that your number one love language?
00:16:11.060 --> 00:16:13.962
She says it is, but i think the assessment says
00:16:13.962 --> 00:16:16.598
Something else, which is perfect.
00:16:16.598 --> 00:16:18.500
The way for us.
00:16:18.500 --> 00:16:19.935
I think he is feeling so good about that.
00:16:19.935 --> 00:16:24.073
What is your problem? i don't know.
00:16:24.073 --> 00:16:25.808
I don't know, i'm nervous or something, but i always thought,
00:16:25.808 --> 00:16:30.079
You know, after reading the purple
00:16:30.079 --> 00:16:31.613
Book, words of affirmation, i'm going to encourage her.
00:16:31.613 --> 00:16:34.450
And man, yeah, you can do that.
00:16:34.450 --> 00:16:35.617
Oh, you want to write a children's book?
00:16:35.617 --> 00:16:36.819
You'd be great at doing that. you can't fight you.
00:16:36.819 --> 00:16:39.588
Oh my goodness.
00:16:39.588 --> 00:16:40.689
I just wanted to encourage, encourage, encourage.
00:16:40.689 --> 00:16:43.158
And it wasn't filling up her love tank.
00:16:43.158 --> 00:16:45.994
You were so mystified.
00:16:45.994 --> 00:16:47.262
Yes, i was having panic attacks because the more encouragement
00:16:47.262 --> 00:16:50.966
I got, the more pressure
00:16:50.966 --> 00:16:52.167
I felt to somehow rise to the occasion.
00:16:52.167 --> 00:16:54.670
So you were mrs. cleaver?
00:16:54.670 --> 00:16:56.371
He was eddie haskel
00:16:56.371 --> 00:16:58.273
Wow, you're really hung up on tv shows from the 60s man.
00:16:58.273 --> 00:17:01.343
(laughter)
00:17:01.343 --> 00:17:03.445
But yes, that's that's right.
00:17:03.445 --> 00:17:04.980
It was actually depleting your love tank, right?
00:17:04.980 --> 00:17:08.117
Because it was putting pressure on you. oh, wow.
00:17:08.117 --> 00:17:10.352
And that's interesting. yeah.
00:17:10.352 --> 00:17:12.221
And it was so well intentioned.
00:17:12.221 --> 00:17:13.922
So it feels really paradoxical.
00:17:13.922 --> 00:17:15.657
It wasn't
00:17:15.657 --> 00:17:16.458
Until we began doing the research
00:17:16.458 --> 00:17:17.659
With gary and developing this premium assessment
00:17:17.659 --> 00:17:21.430
That we realized, okay, when it comes to words
00:17:21.430 --> 00:17:24.766
Of affirmation, there's, several dialects within it.
00:17:24.766 --> 00:17:28.537
Oh, wow.
00:17:28.537 --> 00:17:29.371
And encouragement is one of them.
00:17:29.371 --> 00:17:31.373
I agree.
00:17:31.373 --> 00:17:31.974
That is not her dialect.
00:17:31.974 --> 00:17:33.542
Oh, okay. hello.
00:17:33.542 --> 00:17:35.277
But guess what is compliments.
00:17:35.277 --> 00:17:37.813
Okay. and i hadn't been.
00:17:37.813 --> 00:17:40.549
You are beautiful.
00:17:40.549 --> 00:17:42.151
Let me just say.
00:17:42.151 --> 00:17:43.685
And here's the truth.
00:17:43.685 --> 00:17:45.053
Since the day we got married,
00:17:45.053 --> 00:17:47.156
Whenever i would give her, i would, like, compliment, like.
00:17:47.156 --> 00:17:49.424
You know, you look great in that sweater.
00:17:49.424 --> 00:17:51.326
Well, then i'd see the sweater for the next seven days.
00:17:51.326 --> 00:17:53.695
You know what i mean?
00:17:53.695 --> 00:17:54.930
It's just, like, kind of has to hold off on the compliments.
00:17:54.930 --> 00:17:56.899
Yeah, a little too powerful, you know? but.
00:17:56.899 --> 00:17:59.835
But that's true because that, you know, if he said your eyes
00:17:59.835 --> 00:18:03.338
Sparkle on that sweater, right, i wouldn't even be aware of it.
00:18:03.338 --> 00:18:06.642
I would just wear it all the time.
00:18:06.642 --> 00:18:08.277
Oh my goodness.
00:18:08.277 --> 00:18:09.111
But it filled up her love tank.
00:18:09.111 --> 00:18:10.712
So just the change in the dialect.
00:18:10.712 --> 00:18:12.681
Same love language, but a different dialect.
00:18:12.681 --> 00:18:15.551
And just in case you're curious,
00:18:15.551 --> 00:18:17.085
Kind of curious encouragement, appreciation and compliments.
00:18:17.085 --> 00:18:22.324
So in the in the premium assessment,
00:18:22.324 --> 00:18:24.493
We show you exactly the percentage of how much of you.
00:18:24.493 --> 00:18:28.397
And by the way, this is how god made you, right.
00:18:28.397 --> 00:18:30.465
It's not like you sat down and,
00:18:30.465 --> 00:18:31.433
Well, what am i going to be, right?
00:18:31.433 --> 00:18:32.935
It's just in your hard wiring, in your dna.
00:18:32.935 --> 00:18:36.004
So, so.
00:18:36.271 --> 00:18:37.105
But but for
00:18:37.105 --> 00:18:38.307
For leslie, compliments far outweighs the rest of them.
00:18:38.307 --> 00:18:45.180
I think what was interesting
00:18:45.747 --> 00:18:47.316
In taking this test
00:18:47.316 --> 00:18:48.750
And learning a little bit more about each other,
00:18:48.750 --> 00:18:50.652
It became clear that i like just a sentimental gift.
00:18:50.652 --> 00:18:54.056
I'm definitely unscheduled.
00:18:54.056 --> 00:18:55.891
When it comes to quality time and that being most meaningful
00:18:55.891 --> 00:18:59.027
To me, luke is truly all about the future.
00:18:59.027 --> 00:19:02.598
He lives in the future. he lives in the plan.
00:19:02.598 --> 00:19:05.234
And he literally scored zero
00:19:05.234 --> 00:19:07.769
On being present in the moment.
00:19:07.769 --> 00:19:11.240
I was aware, of course, and affirmation is my primary
00:19:11.240 --> 00:19:14.142
Love language, but realizing my dialect is appreciation
00:19:14.142 --> 00:19:19.581
That just opened up something new for me.
00:19:19.581 --> 00:19:21.683
I mean, and i realize, yeah, i do like the more specific
00:19:21.683 --> 00:19:25.254
Appreciation words of appreciation.
00:19:25.254 --> 00:19:27.456
My main priority with gift
00:19:27.456 --> 00:19:30.425
Giving was, heartfelt.
00:19:30.425 --> 00:19:33.562
So that that takes, you know, all the pressure off my friends,
00:19:33.562 --> 00:19:36.898
Lets them off the hook where they have to spend
00:19:36.898 --> 00:19:39.234
Hundreds of dollars on this crazy gift.
00:19:39.234 --> 00:19:41.303
I love gifts around hobbies.
00:19:41.303 --> 00:19:43.505
I like to cycle. i like to play hockey.
00:19:43.505 --> 00:19:45.774
I love playing drums.
00:19:45.774 --> 00:19:46.975
So anything in that realm, anything that supports something
00:19:46.975 --> 00:19:50.712
That i like to do with my time.
00:19:50.712 --> 00:19:55.851
Completely.
00:19:56.184 --> 00:19:57.853
Some of the most thoughtful things jono has done for me
00:19:57.853 --> 00:20:01.156
Is write in a card.
00:20:01.156 --> 00:20:03.025
His genuine thoughts towards me.
00:20:03.025 --> 00:20:04.793
Affirming...
00:20:04.793 --> 00:20:05.994
It could be a pat on the back. you're doing a great job.
00:20:05.994 --> 00:20:08.063
But appreciation is more specific to the job
00:20:08.063 --> 00:20:10.799
You're doing.
00:20:10.799 --> 00:20:11.867
When you're able to have that undivided attention.
00:20:11.867 --> 00:20:15.137
That's just spontaneous
00:20:15.137 --> 00:20:17.039
Without phones, without any distractions, even without kids.
00:20:17.039 --> 00:20:20.676
If we can.
00:20:20.676 --> 00:20:21.576
But that just means a whole lot to me.
00:20:21.576 --> 00:20:24.780
And it feels like we're able
00:20:24.780 --> 00:20:26.515
To have a deeper, richer connection.
00:20:26.515 --> 00:20:28.550
The love language that matters most.
00:20:28.550 --> 00:20:39.061
Hello, i'm doctor gary
00:20:39.561 --> 00:20:40.562
Chapman, author of the five love languages.
00:20:40.562 --> 00:20:43.699
For 33 years, i've watched love languages change
00:20:43.699 --> 00:20:47.469
Lives and heal relationships all around the world.
00:20:47.469 --> 00:20:51.039
That discovery has led me to write a brand new book,
00:20:51.039 --> 00:20:54.309
The love language that matters most.
00:20:54.309 --> 00:20:57.179
This powerful resource is our.
00:20:57.179 --> 00:20:58.780
Thank you for your gift of $20 or more to tbn.
00:20:58.780 --> 00:21:01.883
With the gift of $55 or more, you'll receive a bundle offer
00:21:01.883 --> 00:21:05.287
The newly released ebook the love language
00:21:05.287 --> 00:21:07.389
That matters most, along with an access card
00:21:07.389 --> 00:21:09.725
To take the love language premium assessment.
00:21:09.725 --> 00:21:11.893
The assessment gives you a detailed 15 page report
00:21:11.893 --> 00:21:14.863
Tailored to your unique love language profile.
00:21:14.863 --> 00:21:17.232
Discover how you are uniquely wired for connection.
00:21:17.232 --> 00:21:20.035
Call (800)█301-8755 or visit tbn.org.
00:21:20.035 --> 00:21:25.340
Forward slash matters most today.
00:21:25.340 --> 00:21:27.943
I believe this message has the power to transform
00:21:27.943 --> 00:21:31.480
Not only how we love, but why we love.
00:21:31.480 --> 00:21:35.484
I'm thrilled to invite you on the journey.
00:21:35.484 --> 00:21:42.424
Let me just kind of
00:21:42.891 --> 00:21:44.393
Read one thing that feels like it might be our ability
00:21:44.393 --> 00:21:48.997
To kind of start wrapping up this episode
00:21:48.997 --> 00:21:52.834
Of how we, you know,
00:21:53.268 --> 00:21:56.538
Have largely talked about this five love languages
00:21:56.538 --> 00:21:59.875
2.0 book.
00:21:59.875 --> 00:22:02.978
And, and it basically says
00:22:03.545 --> 00:22:05.781
“as we work together on the five love languages
00:22:05.781 --> 00:22:09.584
Premium assessment,” that
00:22:09.584 --> 00:22:10.886
We are kind of referencing here that laurie and i did.
00:22:10.886 --> 00:22:13.955
“they began to show me our hardwiring
00:22:14.823 --> 00:22:18.994
Or personality traits shape
00:22:18.994 --> 00:22:22.063
How we hear words of affirmation,
00:22:22.063 --> 00:22:25.567
What we want from quality time.
00:22:25.567 --> 00:22:28.637
The way we interpret the meaning of a gift,
00:22:28.637 --> 00:22:32.140
How an act of service can resonate the most, and
00:22:32.140 --> 00:22:36.077
Even the kind of physical touch that feels most meaningful.”
00:22:36.077 --> 00:22:39.881
Isn't that what we're trying to say?
00:22:39.881 --> 00:22:42.717
There's complexity to us.
00:22:42.717 --> 00:22:44.553
God created us.
00:22:44.553 --> 00:22:46.254
There's a lot of mystery in that, right?
00:22:46.254 --> 00:22:48.790
And this helps us to feel deeply loved and to make
00:22:48.790 --> 00:22:53.562
The people that are connected to us feel deeply loved.
00:22:53.562 --> 00:22:57.399
To me, that is everything, right?
00:22:57.399 --> 00:23:00.669
And that's what we're called to.
00:23:00.669 --> 00:23:02.304
This is a tool for empathy.
00:23:02.304 --> 00:23:03.905
It just makes it
00:23:03.905 --> 00:23:05.207
So much easier to do this thing that is so difficult to do for
00:23:05.207 --> 00:23:08.477
Most of us,
00:23:08.810 --> 00:23:09.511
Most of the time,
00:23:09.511 --> 00:23:10.612
Put ourselves in somebody else's shoes and see them.
00:23:10.612 --> 00:23:13.682
And that's why the love language that matters most
00:23:13.682 --> 00:23:16.952
Is the love language of the person in front of you.
00:23:16.952 --> 00:23:19.855
Right? beautiful. beautiful.
00:23:19.855 --> 00:23:21.690
Final thoughts?
00:23:21.690 --> 00:23:22.491
No, i just think it's amazing.
00:23:22.491 --> 00:23:24.459
And it was i loved how it
00:23:24.459 --> 00:23:28.096
Starts out with tell us who's important to you.
00:23:28.096 --> 00:23:31.466
The top 4 or 5.
00:23:31.466 --> 00:23:33.168
And we had the same ones. and i think the family is
00:23:33.168 --> 00:23:39.207
It's so good to know your, your daughters
00:23:39.207 --> 00:23:42.277
In laws and your, your son in law as and what their,
00:23:42.277 --> 00:23:45.547
What their love language is.
00:23:45.547 --> 00:23:46.715
And to learn that and and knowing that my love
00:23:46.715 --> 00:23:49.885
Language isn't his love language right or his isn't mine.
00:23:49.885 --> 00:23:54.256
And so what i love, you know, isn't necessarily what he needs.
00:23:54.256 --> 00:23:58.593
And to just start being bilingual.
00:23:58.593 --> 00:24:02.497
But you are the man of the hour.
00:24:02.497 --> 00:24:05.967
Well, i think
00:24:06.334 --> 00:24:07.636
That the 20 million people who have read the original book
00:24:07.636 --> 00:24:11.273
Are going to find this book to be super, super helpful.
00:24:11.273 --> 00:24:14.276
Yeah, because many of them need this added information
00:24:14.276 --> 00:24:18.880
That's going to make them
00:24:18.880 --> 00:24:19.848
Even more effective in communicating love.
00:24:19.848 --> 00:24:22.751
You know, feels like, you know, you could count on one hand.
00:24:22.751 --> 00:24:27.756
The books that have had the impact
00:24:27.756 --> 00:24:31.426
Of the five love language.
00:24:31.426 --> 00:24:32.527
You know, you think of purpose driven life
00:24:32.527 --> 00:24:34.296
And jesus calling.
00:24:34.296 --> 00:24:35.664
Yeah, look, there's,
00:24:35.664 --> 00:24:37.265
Of course, the bible is the number one selling book,
00:24:37.265 --> 00:24:39.834
You know, in the history of mankind.
00:24:39.834 --> 00:24:41.269
And that, you know, is is unbelievable.
00:24:41.269 --> 00:24:43.605
But when it comes to us mortals who are just
00:24:43.605 --> 00:24:46.775
Trying to get help out to people,
00:24:46.775 --> 00:24:50.045
This is a top three book,
00:24:50.045 --> 00:24:53.448
You know, kind of largely in history and modern history
00:24:53.448 --> 00:24:57.218
For, for this and the 2.0 version
00:24:57.218 --> 00:25:01.089
Is adding a nuance
00:25:01.089 --> 00:25:04.292
Or a dialect factor to this.
00:25:04.292 --> 00:25:07.862
You can be doing the right thing
00:25:07.862 --> 00:25:11.066
And you can think you're
00:25:11.066 --> 00:25:12.734
Doing the right thing, and you can be doing it.
00:25:12.734 --> 00:25:16.638
You know, kind of, you know, how about i love lucy?
00:25:16.638 --> 00:25:19.708
If we're going to go back to a tv show, ricky and lucy,
00:25:19.708 --> 00:25:22.677
You know, kind of you know, his, his dialect and her
00:25:22.677 --> 00:25:26.748
And they were, you know, kind of,
00:25:26.748 --> 00:25:28.650
You know, the, opposites attract, kind of the thing.
00:25:28.650 --> 00:25:32.954
It feels like this gives the guideposts
00:25:32.954 --> 00:25:37.726
To that, that there are dialects inside of this.
00:25:37.726 --> 00:25:41.630
And for that,
00:25:41.997 --> 00:25:43.064
I am forever grateful, because that would have been
00:25:43.064 --> 00:25:46.968
One of the things i wouldn't have known how to articulate.
00:25:46.968 --> 00:25:49.871
If we we could have we could have sat all day one day.
00:25:49.871 --> 00:25:53.108
And i would have never said to you,
00:25:53.108 --> 00:25:55.143
Are there dialects inside of these,
00:25:55.143 --> 00:25:57.245
Or am i just not getting it?
00:25:57.245 --> 00:25:59.014
And so it feels like you've written this,
00:25:59.014 --> 00:26:03.184
For john q. public.
00:26:03.184 --> 00:26:05.820
Where laurie and i get to sit.
00:26:05.820 --> 00:26:07.222
You guys are sitting as experts in this field.
00:26:07.222 --> 00:26:10.859
You're all psychologists, and we're not.
00:26:10.859 --> 00:26:13.228
So the way that i perceive this is it
00:26:13.228 --> 00:26:16.498
Made five love languages more understandable for me.
00:26:16.498 --> 00:26:20.301
Yeah, that's that's my testimony to absolutely that that's my
00:26:20.301 --> 00:26:24.873
And our sincere desire because we really believe
00:26:24.873 --> 00:26:28.643
This is going to help people be even more effective
00:26:28.643 --> 00:26:31.913
In meeting each other's emotional need for love.
00:26:31.913 --> 00:26:34.449
You know, thank you guys.
00:26:34.449 --> 00:26:36.851
Gary chapman, leslie, les, thank you for being a part.
00:26:36.851 --> 00:26:42.090
What is your problem with me, man?
00:26:42.857 --> 00:26:44.859
Let's go. let's go right now.
00:26:44.859 --> 00:26:47.195
We'll see you next time. bye bye.
00:26:47.195 --> 00:26:59.407
Hello, i'm doctor gary
00:26:59.908 --> 00:27:00.909
Chapman, author of the five love languages.
00:27:00.909 --> 00:27:04.045
For 33 years, i've watched love languages change
00:27:04.045 --> 00:27:07.816
Lives and heal relationships all around the world.
00:27:07.816 --> 00:27:11.386
That discovery has led me to write a brand new book,
00:27:11.386 --> 00:27:14.656
The love language that matters most.
00:27:14.656 --> 00:27:17.525
This powerful resource is our.
00:27:17.525 --> 00:27:19.127
Thank you for your gift of $20 or more to tbn.
00:27:19.127 --> 00:27:22.230
With the gift of $55 or more, you'll receive a bundle offer
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The newly released ebook the love language
00:27:25.633 --> 00:27:27.736
That matters most, along with an access card
00:27:27.736 --> 00:27:30.071
To take the love language premium assessment.
00:27:30.071 --> 00:27:32.240
The assessment gives you a detailed 15 page report
00:27:32.240 --> 00:27:35.210
Tailored to your unique love language profile.
00:27:35.210 --> 00:27:37.579
Discover how you are uniquely wired for connection.
00:27:37.579 --> 00:27:40.381
Call (800)█301-8755 or visit tbn.org.
00:27:40.381 --> 00:27:45.687
Forward slash matters most today.
00:27:45.687 --> 00:27:48.289
I believe this message has the power to transform
00:27:48.289 --> 00:27:51.826
Not only how we love, but why we love.
00:27:51.826 --> 00:27:55.830
I'm thrilled to invite you on the journey.
00:27:55.830 --> 00:27:55.830

Gary Chapman and Les & Leslie Parrott: The Love Language That Matters Most

January 10, 2026 | 29:33

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