Mike Signorelli - The Dating Talk Every Christian Wishes Their Dad Gave Them

November 14, 2025 | 26:47

Pastor Mike Signorelli brings bold, Bible-based teaching to help believers walk faithfully in today’s often compromised world

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| Mike Signorelli - The Dating Talk Every Christian Wishes Their Dad Gave Them | November 14, 2025
  • How many people claim
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  • To get saved, but their cravings never change.
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  • You can scroll on your phone
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  • For four hours, but you can't spend four minutes in prayer.
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  • Something's gotta change because you say, if it was about me,
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  • I would keep scrolling.
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  • But it's about this density, so let me eat the scroll.
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  • Come on, somebody.
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  • Oh, oh.
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  • This is dating advice from dad.
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  • If you're watching this right now and you don't have a dad,
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  • Let me just be like a dad to you because i'm going to answer questions
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  • That my daughter has for me about dating and relationships.
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  • And there's just a lack of wisdom.
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  • And as somebody who's getting older and has some gray in my beard
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  • Has lost some hair.
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  • I believe that i've been through a lot of life and i can help you tremendously.
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  • And so i want to make myself available.
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  • Do me a favor, though.
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  • Share this video with someone who needs dating advice,
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  • Because sometimes you try to say something to them
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  • And they just, quite frankly, don't want to hear it from you.
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  • But they'll listen to me on youtube.
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  • So go ahead and share this video with someone who needs this.
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  • And then like down below there's a bar.
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  • And if you scrub through that bar, you'll see all the different questions.
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  • So you can skip around the video and see what the questions are.
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  • All right. so bella, you are my daughter.
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  • Hi guys.
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  • I am his daughter.
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  • Not by choice. no, no.
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  • By gods choice.
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  • Also, if you didn't already, you need to subscribe
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  • Because this is actually my favorite youtube channel ever. oh.
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  • Thank you.
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  • No, no, my daughter's idea was the blankets.
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  • And, you know, let's hold these.
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  • And this is gen z coded, as they would say.
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  • I do have a cozy moment, a cozy vibe. cozy.
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  • And then. yeah.
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  • And then we've got the, the tea, which i.
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  • This is sleepytime tea.
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  • So we're just really going to, you know, relax
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  • And talk about gen z dating topics.
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  • I have, yeah.
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  • Just for young people in general.
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  • Yeah.
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  • You might be in your 20s, 30s or even 40s in this case of you.
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  • So, bella, i had i had you, like, sit down and think about the top questions
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  • That you have or that your friends have, and then i'm going to try to answer them.
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  • So let's just like go, go right for it. okay.
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  • I think it's a funny one i found was
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  • Is ghosting ever really okay.
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  • Okay.
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  • So the term ghosting, the way i understand
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  • It means you're talking to somebody via text, the phone, whatever.
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  • And it gets to a certain point, and then you just stop all communications
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  • Without explicitly telling them you're going to do that.
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  • Right? right. okay.
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  • So i think that there is an appropriate time for ghosting.
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  • And let me tell you when when the person is crazy,
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  • Like sometimes you start to build a relationship
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  • With someone and you realize they're toxic.
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  • And so ghosting is the only thing that's
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  • Necessary because, let me tell you why.
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  • Sometimes there is no right way to end a relationship with someone
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  • That you're talking to other than to ghost them
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  • Because they're mentally and emotionally disturbed,
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  • And they're always going to have a counter point for whatever point you bring up.
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  • But this is like a really, really important point
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  • In this whole podcast relationship tips are like car crashes.
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  • The faster you go, the more damage is done.
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  • So if you ghost somebody after you've just been like talking
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  • Via text and keeping at surface level, there's less consequences for that
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  • Than getting so deep into a relationship with someone and then ghosting them.
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  • So it's like, take it slow, don't get.
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  • So because a lot of christians are like, well, like we're not sexually involved.
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  • And it's like, yeah, but there's emotional intimacy.
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  • You know, it's not just physical.
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  • So sometimes christians think, well, it's not a big deal for me to ghost.
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  • I'm going to break it off
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  • Because we never did anything physical, not realizing that what you did
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  • Emotionally has just as powerful implications.
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  • That's so true. especially in our digital age.
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  • We, like, are in constant contact all the time with like that
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  • Significant other.
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  • So it can sometimes be like talking to them every day.
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  • Like if you don't take some good morning, you're cooked like,
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  • Yeah, you're definitely cooked.
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  • So what would you say are the proper guidelines
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  • For like communication in an age where we're all connected constantly?
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  • Oh, that's so good.
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  • You're right.
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  • Because i didn't
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  • Have these pressures, you know, when when your mom and i were dating.
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  • But let me just say it's best to communicate upfront.
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  • And that's where, like, i think when you're in a relationship,
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  • You have to help that other person understand, hey,
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  • Just to set an expectation, i start my mornings with god.
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  • I don't even grab my phone.
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  • Some of you are getting convicted right now
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  • And you're like, hey, so i'm not going to i'm not going to text you good morning.
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  • Every morning because i'm with god in the morning.
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  • And hey, by the way, if i don't text you, it's because i'm busy.
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  • And i just want to let you know ahead of time.
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  • Like, i think
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  • Whatever you communicate on the front end is the best way to communicate it,
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  • Because then no one's guessing, like, oh, she told me she wasn't going to text me.
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  • Good morning.
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  • And then if i if you do it, it's a bonus.
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  • Not an expectation.
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  • And i think clear, like drawing clear boundaries on the front end
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  • Is what makes any relationship a good relationship, you know?
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  • And so especially with the digital age, it's like
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  • Even telling someone like, hey, i just want to set the expectation.
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  • I, i don't think we should be texting all day and night.
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  • I've got stuff i've got going on.
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  • And that, by the way, that doesn't mean i like you less.
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  • It just means that i've got stuff going on and and like even
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  • Telling the person i want, i want quality versus quantity,
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  • Because i think that's the problem with like dating in this era
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  • Is the phone produces quantity of interactions,
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  • But it also reduces the quality of interactions.
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  • And so people are like building relationships that feel deep,
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  • But they're not actually deep.
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  • And so i'm like analog old school.
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  • And i think that is needed in your generation as well.
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  • And so just setting all those expectations and talking it out loud,
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  • That is so true and so good to like quality over quantity.
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  • Yes. quality and quantity.
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  • But like oh that's good.
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  • You know, that's like what we're missing.
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  • Like how you were saying everything is so digital.
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  • Like you're having these deep conversations
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  • Over the phone, blah, blah blah, but there's no fruit coming out of it.
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  • You know, you need to have like in-person connection nowadays
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  • Because we're lacking that as a generation.
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  • So when we all get together, we're like, we don't even know how to interact
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  • With each other anymore.
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  • Like, i hang out with my friends
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  • And we're all on our phones and i'm like, guys, let's log in.
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  • Yeah, well, and i think also there's like chemistry.
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  • And one of the healthiest ways to find out if you have chemistry
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  • Is to be together, but also within a group.
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  • And i would suggest to anybody dating that you should consider group dates.
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  • And let me tell you why.
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  • How he treats you in front of other people
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  • Is how he's going to eventually treat you alone.
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  • So in other words, like if he's dissing you in front of other
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  • People, he's going to really diss you alone.
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  • But if he's like lifting you up and encouraging you, or he's with a group
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  • Of people but he's singling you out because it's like, no, this is my girl.
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  • Like, i'm opening the door for her.
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  • I'm taking care of her.
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  • It's giving you an indicator of that dynamic because like,
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  • What i noticed is that especially young guys,
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  • Because i observe
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  • Like the people that you're around and like the other teenagers, it's
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  • Like sometimes they are like, how do i put this?
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  • They're like starved for attention.
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  • And it's like, they don't just want the person's attention.
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  • They're dating, but they want everyone else's attention as well.
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  • So if you date in a group dynamic and you realize that, like, wait a second,
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  • He doesn't just want my attention, he needs everybody else's, you realize
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  • That, okay, watch is going to be a mic drop moment for somebody privately.
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  • He's still going to need your attention, plus other people's.
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  • And that's called infidelity.
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  • So like for real.
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  • Yeah.
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  • And that's because like i've noticed that where it's like, wait a second, bro.
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  • Like why is her attention not enough?
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  • Why are you acting like a fool to get everybody else's attention?
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  • Like, what's so broken in your ego that you need all eyes on you?
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  • Yeah, that is so true.
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  • So, like, how would you.
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  • What advice would you give me for, like, if i was going to ask a friend, like,
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  • How do you not date out of insecurity?
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  • What would be like the top three things you would tell them,
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  • Okay, i'm now we didn't do any notes. no.
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  • So like you're you're having me do like master's
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  • Level thesis for like, okay, just off the derby.
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  • Give me the three things.
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  • I'm like, okay.
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  • Psychologically proven right.
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  • Yeah. yeah. it's like your studies.
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  • So you so yeah.
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  • Exactly.
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  • I'm like oh so to not date out of insecurity.
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  • Yeah.
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  • Well let me just start by saying everybody is going to have insecurities.
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  • You know like i'm in my 40s and i still have insecurities.
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  • So we're we're all going to struggle
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  • With insecurities for, for our whole life to some degree.
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  • But when you date out of your insecurities,
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  • What that means is that you're choosing someone that you believe
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  • Is going to solve your insecurities, and that's toxic.
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  • So it's like, because i need to learn how
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  • To allow the holy spirit to help me with my insecurities.
  • 00:09:39.864 --> 00:09:44.269
  • The bible says a three fold cord is not easily broken,
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  • And so it's you, plus your mate, which is your spouse,
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  • Your ear, your covenanted in marriage, plus god.
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  • And i think what happens is
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  • People think that someone else is going to complete them.
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  • And it's like, no, it's you plus god plus them that completes you.
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  • Because adam and eve, you know that story.
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  • Adam was like, i have god, but i still feel alone.
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  • That's literally the biblical narrative in genesis
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  • Three is like, i have a relationship with god.
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  • I have purpose through my work because god gave adam work,
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  • But because i don't have a woman, because i don't have my wife.
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  • I feel incomplete, but it's a three fold cord.
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  • It wasn't god, it wasn't. i'm sorry.
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  • It wasn't adam. plus eve.
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  • It was god and adam first and then eve.
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  • Hey, mike. signa rally here in the studio.
  • 00:10:40.158 --> 00:10:41.760
  • We're getting ready to jump back into the sermon,
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  • But just very briefly, i wanted to let you know
  • 00:10:44.195 --> 00:10:47.165
  • That i have a resource called the breakers mobile app,
  • 00:10:47.165 --> 00:10:51.202
  • And i have so many courses there that teach you supernatural ministry
  • 00:10:52.604 --> 00:10:56.274
  • And how you can unlock the gifts that god has given you.
  • 00:10:57.375 --> 00:10:59.344
  • I want you to download the mobile app and join a global community of people
  • 00:10:59.344 --> 00:11:03.815
  • Learning the narrow way, people learning how to operate
  • 00:11:03.815 --> 00:11:07.585
  • In the fullness of what god has for them, and the gifts of the spirit.
  • 00:11:07.585 --> 00:11:12.090
  • It's called the breakers of mobile app.
  • 00:11:12.891 --> 00:11:14.826
  • It's actually entirely free and you can download it now on your device.
  • 00:11:14.826 --> 00:11:18.963
  • I will see you there.
  • 00:11:19.464 --> 00:11:23.935
  • So like
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  • If you said, give me three things, it's like the three things is god.
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  • Plus you equals you becoming ready for the third?
  • 00:11:31.276 --> 00:11:34.779
  • Well, and that's what everybody leaves out.
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  • Now, if i was to give you like three things to, to know
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  • That you're not dating out of your insecurity, if i.
  • 00:11:41.286 --> 00:11:44.589
  • Because i could just try three more right now. let's do it.
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  • One would be, are you making progress mentally and emotionally
  • 00:11:47.459 --> 00:11:51.029
  • Through your own trauma and pain without another person?
  • 00:11:52.130 --> 00:11:54.833
  • Because some people think that a relationship's going to heal them,
  • 00:11:56.234 --> 00:11:58.203
  • But all the relationship does is expose your lack of healing.
  • 00:11:59.404 --> 00:12:02.373
  • So relationships don't heal you.
  • 00:12:03.007 --> 00:12:05.110
  • It just exposes your lack of healing.
  • 00:12:05.110 --> 00:12:07.879
  • So it's like if you're not making progress mentally and emotionally
  • 00:12:07.879 --> 00:12:11.049
  • Without somebody else, you're not going to make progress with them.
  • 00:12:11.049 --> 00:12:14.486
  • Actually, you're going to make you're going to regress.
  • 00:12:14.486 --> 00:12:16.755
  • You're going to go back. number two is,
  • 00:12:16.755 --> 00:12:20.425
  • You know, how do i know i'm not dating out of insecurities?
  • 00:12:21.593 --> 00:12:24.996
  • Let me let me put it like this.
  • 00:12:24.996 --> 00:12:27.732
  • If you can't be attracted to a healthy person, you're not healthy.
  • 00:12:27.732 --> 00:12:32.604
  • So number two, like, if you see, i know i'm
  • 00:12:33.505 --> 00:12:37.175
  • Doing this podcast for you to help you because i'm here.
  • 00:12:37.175 --> 00:12:41.646
  • Dad. yeah.
  • 00:12:41.646 --> 00:12:43.214
  • Let's just do as my danny is deliverance section right now.
  • 00:12:43.214 --> 00:12:45.717
  • But, like, if you can't be attracted to a healthy person, it's
  • 00:12:46.985 --> 00:12:48.753
  • Because you're not healthy.
  • 00:12:48.753 --> 00:12:50.255
  • And a lot of women are attracted
  • 00:12:50.255 --> 00:12:51.756
  • To bad boys because deep inside, they're a bad girl,
  • 00:12:51.756 --> 00:12:55.727
  • And they're looking for someone to fulfill a fantasy that they got
  • 00:12:57.061 --> 00:12:58.997
  • From their screen, not from scripture.
  • 00:12:58.997 --> 00:13:02.300
  • So it's like, that's really what it comes down to is like, did you get that?
  • 00:13:03.802 --> 00:13:06.004
  • Did you get a vision from scripture or did you get a fantasy from a screen?
  • 00:13:07.505 --> 00:13:10.809
  • Well, and so it's like what happens is when you get healthy,
  • 00:13:11.976 --> 00:13:14.479
  • You will be attracted to somebody who's healthy.
  • 00:13:14.479 --> 00:13:18.383
  • And because a lot of women are like, i know i always choose the wrong guys.
  • 00:13:19.851 --> 00:13:21.252
  • It's like, yes, because you need to become healthy.
  • 00:13:21.252 --> 00:13:24.522
  • You plus god equals them.
  • 00:13:24.522 --> 00:13:26.324
  • And then the third thing about how do you know if i'm dating, out of it?
  • 00:13:26.324 --> 00:13:30.094
  • How do i know if i'm dating out of an insecurity?
  • 00:13:30.094 --> 00:13:33.498
  • I think that the thing that i've seen the most, like,
  • 00:13:34.566 --> 00:13:38.436
  • People who are dating out of insecurities is i'm just going to drop a bomb.
  • 00:13:38.436 --> 00:13:42.540
  • People are going to be so mad at me for this,
  • 00:13:42.540 --> 00:13:44.442
  • But they're also going to be thanking me in the comments section right now.
  • 00:13:44.442 --> 00:13:47.545
  • You settle for what you know is not god's best,
  • 00:13:48.479 --> 00:13:51.850
  • And that could be an insecurity about your age.
  • 00:13:52.784 --> 00:13:55.486
  • A lot of women, a lot of men. oh, i'm getting older.
  • 00:13:55.486 --> 00:13:57.755
  • They're the only one.
  • 00:13:57.755 --> 00:13:58.990
  • It makes the most sense. and they settle.
  • 00:13:58.990 --> 00:14:01.359
  • Or they just think that, like, well, they've got two out of the three things
  • 00:14:01.359 --> 00:14:05.430
  • That i'm looking for, three out of the five things, and they settle and that.
  • 00:14:05.430 --> 00:14:10.001
  • And what that shows is it's
  • 00:14:10.001 --> 00:14:11.803
  • Not just an insecurity in yourself or it's an insecurity in god.
  • 00:14:11.803 --> 00:14:15.340
  • Like you don't trust that god, if you're a woman, is going to cause a man
  • 00:14:15.340 --> 00:14:19.210
  • To pursue you. that's a real man.
  • 00:14:19.210 --> 00:14:21.646
  • So i would think that, you know,
  • 00:14:21.646 --> 00:14:24.349
  • People need to go back and be like, no, god, this is what you said.
  • 00:14:24.349 --> 00:14:28.553
  • And i'm not settling because i'm not insecure in what you told me
  • 00:14:29.754 --> 00:14:32.757
  • And what you promise me.
  • 00:14:32.757 --> 00:14:34.025
  • Well, that is so good.
  • 00:14:34.025 --> 00:14:36.094
  • So it's like inviting the holy spirit into a space
  • 00:14:36.094 --> 00:14:40.331
  • Where you're almost scared to, you know, when you think about an open wound,
  • 00:14:40.331 --> 00:14:44.802
  • You have to, you have to put the alcohol on it.
  • 00:14:44.802 --> 00:14:48.239
  • And sometimes that can burn, but it produces healing,
  • 00:14:48.239 --> 00:14:51.175
  • You know, with the wound.
  • 00:14:51.175 --> 00:14:53.044
  • So it's like you're inviting god into this open wound of insecurity.
  • 00:14:53.044 --> 00:14:55.146
  • You're like, i don't want to do it. i don't want to do it.
  • 00:14:55.146 --> 00:14:56.748
  • But then you realize, oh, wait, this is actually helping me
  • 00:14:56.748 --> 00:14:59.584
  • Not only in my relationships, but in every aspect of your life.
  • 00:14:59.584 --> 00:15:02.987
  • Because when you stop, like functioning out of insecurity,
  • 00:15:02.987 --> 00:15:06.491
  • You start coming into god's perfect will and what he wants for you.
  • 00:15:06.491 --> 00:15:09.894
  • So i think that is so good.
  • 00:15:09.894 --> 00:15:11.729
  • Okay, so that have a good i love that i have a question as someone who,
  • 00:15:11.729 --> 00:15:14.666
  • Dated in the 90s, right.
  • 00:15:14.666 --> 00:15:17.702
  • So you did a mom in the 90s.
  • 00:15:17.702 --> 00:15:20.038
  • I do, i actually started dating your mom in the early 2000.
  • 00:15:20.038 --> 00:15:23.775
  • Yeah, how things were a lot different back then.
  • 00:15:24.742 --> 00:15:26.244
  • But i'm not calling you old or anything.
  • 00:15:26.244 --> 00:15:27.979
  • But at the turn of the century,
  • 00:15:27.979 --> 00:15:30.481
  • I still get tripped out thinking that i would.
  • 00:15:31.416 --> 00:15:33.484
  • The statement of i was born in the 20th century.
  • 00:15:33.484 --> 00:15:36.988
  • That's a true that's weird to think about,
  • 00:15:37.889 --> 00:15:39.824
  • But okay.
  • 00:15:39.824 --> 00:15:43.094
  • So there's
  • 00:15:43.394 --> 00:15:44.529
  • This whole term, called a situationship.
  • 00:15:44.529 --> 00:15:47.031
  • I don't know if you've heard of that word.
  • 00:15:47.031 --> 00:15:48.633
  • I think i know what it means.
  • 00:15:48.633 --> 00:15:50.568
  • So, basically, a situationship is like, you're kind of dating this person,
  • 00:15:50.568 --> 00:15:55.306
  • But kind of not like you're talking to them,
  • 00:15:56.240 --> 00:15:57.809
  • But you're not really like talking to anybody else.
  • 00:15:57.809 --> 00:16:00.178
  • It's on the low, like it's super like, you know, complicated.
  • 00:16:00.178 --> 00:16:04.615
  • Yeah.
  • 00:16:04.849 --> 00:16:06.250
  • And, gen z especially love to have situationship.
  • 00:16:06.250 --> 00:16:09.454
  • So i've learned that. yeah.
  • 00:16:09.454 --> 00:16:11.456
  • So it's like kind of like the stage right before you get into a relationship,
  • 00:16:11.456 --> 00:16:14.392
  • You know?
  • 00:16:14.392 --> 00:16:16.260
  • So it's i guess you would call it like the dating phase, but it's messy.
  • 00:16:16.260 --> 00:16:19.130
  • So as a pastor and as someone who dated in an era
  • 00:16:20.164 --> 00:16:23.768
  • Where there really wasn't situationship, so it was
  • 00:16:23.768 --> 00:16:25.570
  • Either you're dating or not dating, i would say. right.
  • 00:16:25.570 --> 00:16:28.039
  • Yeah, yeah, more or less like 25 years ago.
  • 00:16:28.039 --> 00:16:31.676
  • Yeah.
  • 00:16:31.909 --> 00:16:33.644
  • I mean, at least amongst all my friends, like you would ask somebody out,
  • 00:16:33.644 --> 00:16:35.913
  • You would go on dates.
  • 00:16:35.913 --> 00:16:37.782
  • Now, it was possible to date multiple people like me meeting like this.
  • 00:16:37.782 --> 00:16:42.653
  • Well, yeah, but i mean, i like the way i wanted to word that was
  • 00:16:43.921 --> 00:16:46.324
  • It was possible to take multiple people on dates.
  • 00:16:46.324 --> 00:16:49.694
  • Right. so that's the way we looked at it.
  • 00:16:50.561 --> 00:16:52.130
  • But then once we started to like, go steady with someone.
  • 00:16:52.130 --> 00:16:55.033
  • Yeah.
  • 00:16:55.266 --> 00:16:56.667
  • You know, that was a clearly defined thing. yeah.
  • 00:16:56.667 --> 00:16:57.935
  • So like when you're in a situationship,
  • 00:16:57.935 --> 00:16:59.704
  • It's like if you see someone else, you're lowkey cheating again.
  • 00:16:59.704 --> 00:17:02.440
  • Yeah.
  • 00:17:02.673 --> 00:17:04.075
  • So i want to ask you from a pastor's perspective,
  • 00:17:04.075 --> 00:17:07.045
  • What do you think about situation shifts in gen z?
  • 00:17:08.079 --> 00:17:10.148
  • Like what is your opinion on them?
  • 00:17:10.148 --> 00:17:11.816
  • As a dad to two girls, i never would want one
  • 00:17:11.816 --> 00:17:15.853
  • Of my precious daughters to be some other man's situation.
  • 00:17:15.853 --> 00:17:20.191
  • Like, men don't make situations, they make covenants,
  • 00:17:21.225 --> 00:17:24.462
  • They make commitments and i think the problem with this
  • 00:17:25.596 --> 00:17:27.465
  • Situation is it's like you don't, you don't test drive a girl like a car.
  • 00:17:27.465 --> 00:17:32.670
  • You don't.
  • 00:17:32.970 --> 00:17:34.272
  • That's this is not how you respect a woman.
  • 00:17:34.272 --> 00:17:36.207
  • Like a situation and ship like to me that actually that term makes me angry.
  • 00:17:36.207 --> 00:17:41.345
  • It's like because let me put it like this.
  • 00:17:42.246 --> 00:17:43.981
  • If you have a plan b, you will always take it.
  • 00:17:43.981 --> 00:17:47.251
  • And so how do you get go on the road to marriage when it's predicated
  • 00:17:48.619 --> 00:17:52.757
  • On the idea that you said, you know what i'm going to do?
  • 00:17:53.891 --> 00:17:56.060
  • It's like gambling on horses, like i'm going to put my money
  • 00:17:57.261 --> 00:17:59.197
  • On three horses at the same time and see which one wins.
  • 00:17:59.197 --> 00:18:02.633
  • It's like, dude, that's how you treat horses, not humans.
  • 00:18:03.801 --> 00:18:05.937
  • Like, you don't bet on six girls at the same time.
  • 00:18:06.938 --> 00:18:08.272
  • And then see which one wins.
  • 00:18:08.272 --> 00:18:10.074
  • You're the possibility to be in relationship.
  • 00:18:10.074 --> 00:18:12.844
  • As a matter of fact, it makes me want to fight
  • 00:18:12.844 --> 00:18:14.345
  • Somebody live on camera right now, right?
  • 00:18:14.345 --> 00:18:16.380
  • No, because i'm speaking, you know what i mean?
  • 00:18:16.380 --> 00:18:18.850
  • Like, as somebody who has daughters, it's like,
  • 00:18:18.850 --> 00:18:22.220
  • No, no, no, my daughter is not your situation.
  • 00:18:22.220 --> 00:18:25.590
  • Now, if you want to call her now, that would be the civil way to do this,
  • 00:18:27.024 --> 00:18:29.727
  • Which means a singular focus only on my daughter,
  • 00:18:29.727 --> 00:18:34.499
  • Only on this other woman, you know, or like whoever you're choosing.
  • 00:18:35.800 --> 00:18:37.268
  • I'm just putting out there like you.
  • 00:18:37.268 --> 00:18:38.936
  • You just choose the single person and you're like,
  • 00:18:38.936 --> 00:18:41.939
  • I am going to see if god is in this, if there's chemistry,
  • 00:18:41.939 --> 00:18:46.310
  • If we're made for each other and we're going to court.
  • 00:18:47.378 --> 00:18:48.146
  • What is courting?
  • 00:18:48.146 --> 00:18:49.680
  • Courting is getting to know each other without an obligation.
  • 00:18:49.680 --> 00:18:53.384
  • It's the it's the righteous way of doing a situationship.
  • 00:18:54.519 --> 00:18:57.622
  • Come on. it's like i would.
  • 00:18:58.222 --> 00:18:59.123
  • Let's let me take you out.
  • 00:18:59.123 --> 00:19:01.159
  • Let's do it in a group because we can't be accountable alone because stuff happens.
  • 00:19:01.159 --> 00:19:06.564
  • So let's go out with the group.
  • 00:19:07.198 --> 00:19:09.000
  • You know, let's go out in public.
  • 00:19:09.000 --> 00:19:10.568
  • Let's get to know each other. let's be around each other.
  • 00:19:10.568 --> 00:19:13.171
  • You know what i mean? there's like ways to do these things.
  • 00:19:13.171 --> 00:19:15.907
  • And then you can get enough data to be like, this is not going to be the one.
  • 00:19:15.907 --> 00:19:20.344
  • Yeah, but what you don't do is get yourself into 15 situation
  • 00:19:21.546 --> 00:19:24.549
  • Ships and start betting on women like their horses to see which one.
  • 00:19:24.549 --> 00:19:28.586
  • It's crazy facts, facts.
  • 00:19:28.586 --> 00:19:30.755
  • So all you guys in the comment section.
  • 00:19:30.755 --> 00:19:33.991
  • But are we taking notes on this?
  • 00:19:34.625 --> 00:19:35.860
  • That is so good though.
  • 00:19:35.860 --> 00:19:37.128
  • Like situation ships are not like let's take out
  • 00:19:37.128 --> 00:19:40.131
  • Situation ships in 2025 and bring back court ships.
  • 00:19:40.131 --> 00:19:43.301
  • Can i get in.
  • 00:19:43.301 --> 00:19:43.935
  • Yeah.
  • 00:19:43.935 --> 00:19:45.503
  • Court ships instead of situation ships do it because they think
  • 00:19:45.503 --> 00:19:47.438
  • It says something especially for like this high value male.
  • 00:19:47.438 --> 00:19:50.641
  • Let's say he's attractive, he's got a great job.
  • 00:19:50.641 --> 00:19:53.377
  • He's got status. people respect him.
  • 00:19:53.377 --> 00:19:56.013
  • You know, for someone like that to be like, hey, i could ask out
  • 00:19:56.013 --> 00:20:00.251
  • Multiple women, but like, i been praying
  • 00:20:00.251 --> 00:20:04.322
  • And i really see something in you and i would like to just court you
  • 00:20:05.690 --> 00:20:07.725
  • And let's take this slow and, you know, hey, i got a group of friends going out.
  • 00:20:07.725 --> 00:20:11.329
  • I'd love for you to be around my friends.
  • 00:20:11.329 --> 00:20:13.264
  • I want to be around your friends
  • 00:20:13.264 --> 00:20:14.932
  • And a guy doing something like that is so admirable.
  • 00:20:14.932 --> 00:20:18.436
  • And then if it doesn't work out,
  • 00:20:18.436 --> 00:20:20.338
  • You keep it amicable where it's like, yeah, you know what?
  • 00:20:20.338 --> 00:20:22.740
  • There's just not chemistry. you're amazing.
  • 00:20:22.740 --> 00:20:25.376
  • But i'm not feeling it.
  • 00:20:25.376 --> 00:20:26.911
  • But like, what happens is you're you're you're breaking off
  • 00:20:26.911 --> 00:20:30.281
  • Of courtship, not breaking off a soul tie.
  • 00:20:30.281 --> 00:20:33.584
  • And that's, to me, the wisdom in it where it's like you can stop courting,
  • 00:20:35.019 --> 00:20:38.656
  • But to stop dating, you have to actually break up, not break it off.
  • 00:20:39.991 --> 00:20:43.361
  • And it's like, it's so it's like two pieces of paper that you glue together.
  • 00:20:44.862 --> 00:20:48.065
  • Once you get into a relationship, the only way to separate
  • 00:20:49.267 --> 00:20:50.635
  • Them is to rip them both.
  • 00:20:50.635 --> 00:20:52.503
  • Yeah, but it's like courtship is like a paper clip where it's like,
  • 00:20:52.503 --> 00:20:56.040
  • You could just take the paper clip off and both go their separate ways.
  • 00:20:56.040 --> 00:20:59.410
  • So to me, there's wisdom in this, but people don't do this
  • 00:20:59.410 --> 00:21:03.381
  • Because hormones, selfish ambition, desire.
  • 00:21:03.381 --> 00:21:06.917
  • And really the deeper you go
  • 00:21:07.518 --> 00:21:09.053
  • It's like, listen, you couldn't wait for this thing to develop.
  • 00:21:09.053 --> 00:21:12.256
  • If you're near one of our campuses, i want to give you
  • 00:21:13.324 --> 00:21:15.159
  • A personal invitation to check out v1 church.
  • 00:21:15.159 --> 00:21:19.163
  • There's no way i can describe the atmosphere of revival in the experience.
  • 00:21:20.631 --> 00:21:23.801
  • If you've never driven up or driven in, you know,
  • 00:21:24.802 --> 00:21:27.371
  • Let me just tell you it's a powerful atmosphere
  • 00:21:28.339 --> 00:21:30.207
  • And a bunch of people who really love the lord and want to get to know you.
  • 00:21:30.207 --> 00:21:34.345
  • So let us know when you're coming and i'll see you at v1 church.
  • 00:21:35.680 --> 00:21:41.786
  • You know what i mean?
  • 00:21:42.286 --> 00:21:44.322
  • Like think about being someone's like, think about being grandparents together.
  • 00:21:44.322 --> 00:21:48.092
  • Think about the story you want to tell your grandchildren about how you met.
  • 00:21:49.593 --> 00:21:52.797
  • And if you can't tell your grandkids the story because it's that raunchy,
  • 00:21:54.231 --> 00:21:56.500
  • Then you did it the wrong way.
  • 00:21:57.134 --> 00:21:58.669
  • You didn't get a far cry emoji in the comments right now.
  • 00:21:58.669 --> 00:22:03.374
  • Nasty.
  • 00:22:03.607 --> 00:22:06.143
  • She is.
  • 00:22:06.143 --> 00:22:08.813
  • Hey, i just i do this.
  • 00:22:08.813 --> 00:22:10.848
  • I'm just saying i'm sad. after hours i will.
  • 00:22:10.848 --> 00:22:14.118
  • I'm such happy times.
  • 00:22:14.618 --> 00:22:16.287
  • This is his sleepy time with the camomile.
  • 00:22:16.287 --> 00:22:19.990
  • Oh no, i'm just laughing because if you know me,
  • 00:22:20.958 --> 00:22:22.960
  • I am like a testosterone driven, psychopathic male.
  • 00:22:22.960 --> 00:22:27.064
  • The fact that god gave me two daughters and she's got me with a blanket
  • 00:22:28.499 --> 00:22:30.634
  • And it's sleepy time, is.
  • 00:22:30.634 --> 00:22:32.536
  • I'm ashamed of myself. right now. okay.
  • 00:22:32.536 --> 00:22:35.539
  • Do you want to do a rapid fire?
  • 00:22:35.539 --> 00:22:36.941
  • Last question, guys, if you got this far, by the way,
  • 00:22:36.941 --> 00:22:40.211
  • Your real one, make sure you hit subscribe and you join the channel.
  • 00:22:41.579 --> 00:22:44.115
  • And we're so glad that you're here.
  • 00:22:44.915 --> 00:22:46.784
  • As a matter of fact, in the description, we've put the links to marriage
  • 00:22:46.784 --> 00:22:50.054
  • And relationship podcast and different episodes between my wife and i,
  • 00:22:50.054 --> 00:22:54.258
  • And there's so much there for you.
  • 00:22:55.025 --> 00:22:56.527
  • And then i'd love to know your questions in the comments.
  • 00:22:56.527 --> 00:22:58.329
  • And if you want bella and i to do this more, so let us know,
  • 00:22:58.329 --> 00:23:02.800
  • Because this might be a thing that we do more.
  • 00:23:02.800 --> 00:23:05.169
  • Okay, last question. okay.
  • 00:23:05.169 --> 00:23:06.670
  • So we we you told them what not to do, right?
  • 00:23:06.670 --> 00:23:09.707
  • You told them the red flags. what to stay away from.
  • 00:23:09.707 --> 00:23:12.276
  • Now, how do you know that you are with the person that god has called you to be?
  • 00:23:12.276 --> 00:23:17.848
  • Like, what are the biggest signs?
  • 00:23:18.582 --> 00:23:20.985
  • Oh, man, you know, cause you ask me the hardest question.
  • 00:23:20.985 --> 00:23:25.256
  • You're really good at.
  • 00:23:25.756 --> 00:23:27.458
  • So here's the thing.
  • 00:23:27.458 --> 00:23:30.127
  • At the end of the day, you don't you don't know definitively.
  • 00:23:30.127 --> 00:23:34.999
  • You know, i think about faith is the evidence of things hoped for.
  • 00:23:36.333 --> 00:23:38.436
  • It's the substance of things not seen.
  • 00:23:39.270 --> 00:23:41.005
  • And it's like instead of me hoping that julie is the right one,
  • 00:23:41.005 --> 00:23:45.676
  • The question is, have i become the right one for her?
  • 00:23:46.744 --> 00:23:49.980
  • And is she becoming the right one for me?
  • 00:23:50.881 --> 00:23:52.316
  • And every season of our life? and i have faith.
  • 00:23:52.316 --> 00:23:55.119
  • It's the evidence of things.
  • 00:23:55.119 --> 00:23:56.554
  • Hope for it and the substance of things not seen.
  • 00:23:56.554 --> 00:23:59.457
  • So it's like my i have faith in our relationship and, and
  • 00:23:59.457 --> 00:24:02.960
  • And what god is and does through me and through her.
  • 00:24:04.028 --> 00:24:06.464
  • And we're becoming instead of being.
  • 00:24:07.231 --> 00:24:09.733
  • So i think like everyone's like, oh, they they are they are my soulmate.
  • 00:24:11.202 --> 00:24:14.939
  • And it's like, no, no, erase that.
  • 00:24:15.706 --> 00:24:17.241
  • We are becoming soulmates and we're getting better.
  • 00:24:17.241 --> 00:24:21.178
  • We're not being, we're becoming.
  • 00:24:21.178 --> 00:24:23.314
  • Because let me tell you this, i've actually had to marry
  • 00:24:23.314 --> 00:24:26.784
  • 19 versions of your mother so far,
  • 00:24:27.551 --> 00:24:30.688
  • Because every year she becomes someone new,
  • 00:24:31.589 --> 00:24:34.091
  • And i've had to marry 19 versions of her so far, and it's going to be 20 versions
  • 00:24:35.659 --> 00:24:38.929
  • Because the the version of her that when i met her,
  • 00:24:39.964 --> 00:24:42.733
  • Actually one year older than you now, which is so weird and kind of scary.
  • 00:24:42.733 --> 00:24:47.171
  • And so she was 19 years old, which we've been together for like 21 years,
  • 00:24:48.639 --> 00:24:51.876
  • I think.
  • 00:24:51.876 --> 00:24:53.410
  • And you know, that that girl was i won't be becoming a woman.
  • 00:24:53.410 --> 00:24:57.281
  • You're 19 years old.
  • 00:24:57.281 --> 00:24:59.049
  • And then i think we got married at like 21 and then, you know, onwards.
  • 00:24:59.049 --> 00:25:03.153
  • So my point is i've had to become her soulmate over and over and over again.
  • 00:25:03.153 --> 00:25:08.459
  • She's had to become mine over and over again.
  • 00:25:09.360 --> 00:25:10.895
  • And people who think that way stay married.
  • 00:25:10.895 --> 00:25:13.597
  • And the people who think, oh, they're not.
  • 00:25:14.465 --> 00:25:16.534
  • I don't know if they're the one always go looking for the one and never find it,
  • 00:25:16.534 --> 00:25:21.772
  • Because they don't realize that's not the way it works.
  • 00:25:22.873 --> 00:25:25.175
  • So fire emoji that was fired.
  • 00:25:25.809 --> 00:25:28.746
  • Come on.
  • 00:25:29.013 --> 00:25:30.314
  • That was that cost me thousands of dollars
  • 00:25:30.314 --> 00:25:31.982
  • In marriage counseling almost ruining my marriage.
  • 00:25:31.982 --> 00:25:35.586
  • And now we can laugh about it over camomile tea.
  • 00:25:35.586 --> 00:25:39.256
  • Hey, guys, tune in in the next one.
  • 00:25:39.990 --> 00:25:41.992
  • And, can't wait to see you in the next video.
  • 00:25:41.992 --> 00:25:44.495
  • Thank you. bella, you did so much.
  • 00:25:44.495 --> 00:25:46.363
  • Want to know what, chow?
  • 00:25:46.363 --> 00:25:48.599
  • What a sad, yeah, well, he said one for marriage, so we'll see in the next one.
  • 00:25:48.599 --> 00:25:48.599