Joel Osteen

Joel Osteen - Breaking Control

July 13, 2026 | 27:29

Joel and Victoria Osteen's message of unconditional love and unending hope reaches everyone across the world.

#PersonalStory #Boundaries #Purpose #PeerPressure #Sacrifice #EmotionalHealth #Respect #Peace #Breakthrough #Change #JoelOsteen

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Joel Osteen | Joel Osteen - Breaking Control | July 13, 2026

>joel: god bless you. it's
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>joel: god bless you. it's great to be with you today. i
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Great to be with you today. i hope you'll stay connected
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Hope you'll stay connected with us during the week,
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With us during the week, through our daily podcast,
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Through our daily podcast, our youtube channel, social
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Our youtube channel, social media. and you can come visit
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Media. and you can come visit us in person. we'd love to
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Us in person. we'd love to have you be a part of one of
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Have you be a part of one of our services.
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Our services. i like to start with
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I like to start with something funny. i heard
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Something funny. i heard about these three sons that
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About these three sons that left home and went out and
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Left home and went out and prospered. they got back
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Prospered. they got back together to talk about the
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Together to talk about the gifts they'd gotten their
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Gifts they'd gotten their elderly mother. the first son
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Elderly mother. the first son said, “i built mom a big
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Said, “i built mom a big house.” the second son said,
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House.” the second son said, “i bought her a fancy car.”
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“i bought her a fancy car.” the third one said, “since
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The third one said, “since mom loves to read the bible
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Mom loves to read the bible but can barely see, i got her
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But can barely see, i got her a specially trained parrot
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A specially trained parrot that can quote the entire
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That can quote the entire bible.” a few weeks later,
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Bible.” a few weeks later, they received a letter from
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They received a letter from their mother. it said,
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Their mother. it said, “milton the house you built
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“milton the house you built me is way too big. gerald,
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Me is way too big. gerald, the car you got me is way too
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The car you got me is way too small. but my dearest donald,
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Small. but my dearest donald, your simple gift is my
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Your simple gift is my favorite. the chicken was
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Favorite. the chicken was delicious.”
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Delicious.” say it like yon mean it. this
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Say it like yon mean it. this is my bible. i am what it
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Is my bible. i am what it says i am. i have what it
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Says i am. i have what it says i have. i can do what it
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Says i have. i can do what it says i can do. today, i will
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Says i can do. today, i will be taught the word of god. i
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Be taught the word of god. i boldly confess: my mind is
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Boldly confess: my mind is alert. my heart is receptive.
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Alert. my heart is receptive. i will never be the same in
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I will never be the same in jesus' name. god bless you.
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Jesus' name. god bless you. i want to talk to you today
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I want to talk to you today about breaking control. it's
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About breaking control. it's easy to go through life doing
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Easy to go through life doing things out of guilt and
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Things out of guilt and pressure. a relative will get
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Pressure. a relative will get upset if we don't show up
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Upset if we don't show up every time they want. a
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Every time they want. a friend expects us to meet
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Friend expects us to meet every demand or they'll get
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Every demand or they'll get their feelings hurt. people
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Their feelings hurt. people use control and manipulation
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Use control and manipulation to get their way. it doesn't
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To get their way. it doesn't mean they're a bad person.
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Mean they're a bad person. sometimes they don't even
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Sometimes they don't even know they're doing it. they
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Know they're doing it. they expect us to perform, be
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Expect us to perform, be there every time they call,
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There every time they call, put our life on hold to make
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Put our life on hold to make sure they're taken care of.
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Sure they're taken care of. if not, they get sour, try to
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If not, they get sour, try to make you feel guilty, “why
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Make you feel guilty, “why weren't you here?” if we're
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Weren't you here?” if we're not careful, we'll take on
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Not careful, we'll take on this false sense of
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This false sense of responsibility thinking that
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Responsibility thinking that it's our job to keep them
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It's our job to keep them fixed. we have to keep them
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Fixed. we have to keep them happy, keep them encouraged,
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Happy, keep them encouraged, keep them entertained. but
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Keep them entertained. but here's a key, you are not
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Here's a key, you are not responsible for other
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Responsible for other people's happiness. you are
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People's happiness. you are responsible for your own
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Responsible for your own happiness. take that pressure
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Happiness. take that pressure off. some people don't want
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Off. some people don't want to be happy. they won't deal
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To be happy. they won't deal with their issues. they won't
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With their issues. they won't forgive. they won't keep a
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Forgive. they won't keep a good attitude. it's much
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Good attitude. it's much easier for them to rely on
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Easier for them to rely on you. if you continue giving
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You. if you continue giving in, you'll not only not have
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In, you'll not only not have the time and energy for your
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The time and energy for your dreams but you're enabling
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Dreams but you're enabling their dysfunction. as long as
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Their dysfunction. as long as they have you, they don't
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They have you, they don't have to change.
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Have to change. you have to set some
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You have to set some boundaries. you can be nice.
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Boundaries. you can be nice. you can be loving but you
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You can be loving but you have to be strong enough to
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Have to be strong enough to say, ‘no, i can't come
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Say, ‘no, i can't come running every time you call.
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Running every time you call. no, i'm not going to let you
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No, i'm not going to let you dump all your problems on me
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Dump all your problems on me and expect me to solve them.”
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And expect me to solve them.” here's the biggest one, “i'm
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Here's the biggest one, “i'm not going to feel guilty if i
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Not going to feel guilty if i can't meet all your demands.
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Can't meet all your demands. i'm not going to live down on
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I'm not going to live down on myself because i can't
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Myself because i can't perform up to your
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Perform up to your standards.” without healthy
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Standards.” without healthy boundaries, we won't have
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Boundaries, we won't have healthy relationships. “joel,
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Healthy relationships. “joel, what if they get their
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What if they get their feelings hurt?” what if you
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Feelings hurt?” what if you miss your destiny? “what if
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Miss your destiny? “what if they get upset and don't
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They get upset and don't speak to me anymore?” god
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Speak to me anymore?” god just answered your prayer.
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Just answered your prayer. say, “thank you jesus.”
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Say, “thank you jesus.” seriously, life is too short
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Seriously, life is too short to go through it being
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To go through it being controlled, doing things out
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Controlled, doing things out of guilt, thinking if we
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Of guilt, thinking if we don't, we'll fall out of
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Don't, we'll fall out of their good grace. that's not
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Their good grace. that's not a friendship, that's
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A friendship, that's manipulation. they're not
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Manipulation. they're not interested in you, they're
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Interested in you, they're interested in what you can do
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Interested in what you can do for them. a true friend
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For them. a true friend doesn't get upset when you
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Doesn't get upset when you say no. they don't try to
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Say no. they don't try to pressure you and make you
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Pressure you and make you feel guilty, so you do what
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Feel guilty, so you do what they want.
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They want. when my father passed and i
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When my father passed and i stepped up to minister, some
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Stepped up to minister, some of our pastor friends asked
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Of our pastor friends asked me to come speak for them. i
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Me to come speak for them. i was just learning how to
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Was just learning how to minister. it was taking all
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Minister. it was taking all my time and energy to speak
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My time and energy to speak here on the weekends. plus we
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Here on the weekends. plus we had a three month old baby. i
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Had a three month old baby. i told them i was honored but
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Told them i was honored but wasn't able to at the time.
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Wasn't able to at the time. they all understood except
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They all understood except this one man. he reminded me
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This one man. he reminded me how he had supported my
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How he had supported my father and how he'd always
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Father and how he'd always been to our conferences and
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Been to our conferences and how loyal he had been and it
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How loyal he had been and it seems like i could make an
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Seems like i could make an exception. all this pressure,
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Exception. all this pressure, this guilt. i felt bad about
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This guilt. i felt bad about it, for about twenty seconds.
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It, for about twenty seconds. but i also realized, that
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But i also realized, that wasn't a friend, that was a
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Wasn't a friend, that was a controller. he didn't care
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Controller. he didn't care about me, he cared about how
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About me, he cared about how i could help him. just as
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I could help him. just as strong as he was to me, i was
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Strong as he was to me, i was that strong going back to
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That strong going back to him. if you're being
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Him. if you're being controlled, it's not the
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Controlled, it's not the other person's fault, it's
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Other person's fault, it's your fault. you have to put
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Your fault. you have to put your foot down and say, “i'm
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Your foot down and say, “i'm sorry but i'm not going to
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Sorry but i'm not going to jump every time you call. i'm
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Jump every time you call. i'm not going to be able to meet
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Not going to be able to meet all your demands.”
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All your demands.” he got upset. he didn't
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He got upset. he didn't understand. but instead of
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Understand. but instead of letting them make you
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Letting them make you unhappy, why don't you let
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Unhappy, why don't you let them be unhappy. if they
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Them be unhappy. if they can't handle it, that's not
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Can't handle it, that's not your problem. don't take on
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Your problem. don't take on that false sense of
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That false sense of responsibility, thinking you
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Responsibility, thinking you have to please everyone,
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Have to please everyone, rescue everyone, keep them
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Rescue everyone, keep them encouraged.
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Encouraged. quit letting people
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Quit letting people call you all hours of the
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Call you all hours of the night and day and get you
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Night and day and get you stirred up and expect you to
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Stirred up and expect you to solve all their problems. you
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Solve all their problems. you have enough problems. next
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Have enough problems. next time they call, that's why
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Time they call, that's why god created voice mail. if
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God created voice mail. if they can't get you for a few
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They can't get you for a few times, maybe they'll go to
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Times, maybe they'll go to god. maybe they'll start
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God. maybe they'll start dealing with issues. maybe
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Dealing with issues. maybe they'll recognize you're not
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They'll recognize you're not the savior. but as long as
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The savior. but as long as you come running every time,
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You come running every time, you'll become a crutch.
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You'll become a crutch. that's a codependent
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That's a codependent relationship. they'll go
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Relationship. they'll go their whole life depending on
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Their whole life depending on you. that's not only going to
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You. that's not only going to limit your potential but it's
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Limit your potential but it's keeping them from getting
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Keeping them from getting whole and stepping up to who
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Whole and stepping up to who they were created to be. do
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They were created to be. do them a favor and break free
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Them a favor and break free from that control.
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From that control. i talked to a lady that was
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I talked to a lady that was raised in a very negative
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Raised in a very negative environment. from the time
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Environment. from the time she was a little girl, her
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She was a little girl, her mother was always blaming her
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Mother was always blaming her for everything that went
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For everything that went wrong. anytime she'd have a
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Wrong. anytime she'd have a bad day or some kind of
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Bad day or some kind of setback, it was always this
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Setback, it was always this girl's fault. she grew up
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Girl's fault. she grew up with this guilt, shame,
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With this guilt, shame, feeling like she was
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Feeling like she was responsible to keep her
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Responsible to keep her mother happy, fix her
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Mother happy, fix her problems. this mother was
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Problems. this mother was harsh and abusive. she had
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Harsh and abusive. she had issues she hadn't dealt with.
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Issues she hadn't dealt with. when people are hurting, when
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When people are hurting, when they have bitterness, anger,
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They have bitterness, anger, insecurity, often that pain
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Insecurity, often that pain comes out like poison on
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Comes out like poison on others. it doesn't have
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Others. it doesn't have anything to do with you. it
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Anything to do with you. it wasn't your fault. it's just
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Wasn't your fault. it's just pain they have bottled up
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Pain they have bottled up that's being released. they
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That's being released. they haven't dealt with it
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Haven't dealt with it properly. she would tell her
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Properly. she would tell her daughter how she wasn't going
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Daughter how she wasn't going to amount to anything, how
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To amount to anything, how unattractive she was, how she
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Unattractive she was, how she was the reason they had so
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Was the reason they had so many problems. she used all
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Many problems. she used all this guilt, shame and fear to
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This guilt, shame and fear to control her daughter.
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Control her daughter. now the daughter is a grown
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Now the daughter is a grown woman, in her forties, but
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Woman, in her forties, but nothing has changed. the
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Nothing has changed. the mother still calls and
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Mother still calls and berates her, tells her about
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Berates her, tells her about her problems, puts all these
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Her problems, puts all these demands on her. “you need to
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Demands on her. “you need to pay these bills, take me to
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Pay these bills, take me to the store, fix this problem
00:07:28.727 --> 00:07:30.328
The store, fix this problem at the house.” forty years
00:07:30.395 --> 00:07:32.430
At the house.” forty years later this daughter is still
00:07:32.497 --> 00:07:34.366
Later this daughter is still being controlled. she didn't
00:07:34.432 --> 00:07:36.067
Being controlled. she didn't know any better. she'd lived
00:07:36.134 --> 00:07:38.069
Know any better. she'd lived her whole life with this
00:07:38.136 --> 00:07:39.271
Her whole life with this controlling spirit. feeling
00:07:39.337 --> 00:07:41.473
Controlling spirit. feeling responsible to try to help
00:07:41.540 --> 00:07:43.275
Responsible to try to help her mother. some people don't
00:07:43.341 --> 00:07:45.544
Her mother. some people don't want to get help. they like
00:07:45.610 --> 00:07:47.579
Want to get help. they like the attention it brings them.
00:07:47.646 --> 00:07:49.714
The attention it brings them. they'll use it to manipulate,
00:07:49.781 --> 00:07:51.917
They'll use it to manipulate, make you feel guilty, where
00:07:51.983 --> 00:07:53.485
Make you feel guilty, where they can control you. don't
00:07:53.552 --> 00:07:55.487
They can control you. don't take that bait. be
00:07:55.554 --> 00:07:56.821
Take that bait. be respectful, but you're not
00:07:56.888 --> 00:07:58.623
Respectful, but you're not responsible for their
00:07:58.690 --> 00:07:59.925
Responsible for their happiness.
00:07:59.991 --> 00:08:01.560
Happiness. this daughter was so
00:08:01.626 --> 00:08:02.561
This daughter was so distraught, so confused. she
00:08:02.627 --> 00:08:05.063
Distraught, so confused. she thought, “maybe i am a bad
00:08:05.130 --> 00:08:06.398
Thought, “maybe i am a bad person.” she asked her
00:08:06.464 --> 00:08:08.066
Person.” she asked her husband, “why did i cause all
00:08:08.133 --> 00:08:09.868
Husband, “why did i cause all these problems?” it was
00:08:09.935 --> 00:08:11.403
These problems?” it was affecting her mental health
00:08:11.469 --> 00:08:12.871
Affecting her mental health and her reasoning. the enemy
00:08:12.938 --> 00:08:15.440
And her reasoning. the enemy loves to use all that guilt
00:08:15.507 --> 00:08:17.275
Loves to use all that guilt and shame, to try to destroy
00:08:17.342 --> 00:08:19.444
And shame, to try to destroy your self-worth and your
00:08:19.511 --> 00:08:21.079
Your self-worth and your sense of value, make you feel
00:08:21.146 --> 00:08:23.148
Sense of value, make you feel like you're the one to blame.
00:08:23.214 --> 00:08:25.116
Like you're the one to blame. don't believe those lies.
00:08:25.183 --> 00:08:26.351
Don't believe those lies. there is nothing wrong with
00:08:26.418 --> 00:08:27.686
There is nothing wrong with you. you are made in the
00:08:27.752 --> 00:08:29.354
You. you are made in the image of god. you are a
00:08:29.421 --> 00:08:30.889
Image of god. you are a masterpiece, healthy, whole,
00:08:30.956 --> 00:08:33.358
Masterpiece, healthy, whole, beautiful, talented, one of a
00:08:33.425 --> 00:08:35.327
Beautiful, talented, one of a kind.
00:08:35.393 --> 00:08:36.728
Kind. one day this daughter heard
00:08:36.795 --> 00:08:38.597
One day this daughter heard what we're talking about. how
00:08:38.663 --> 00:08:40.465
What we're talking about. how you're not supposed to live
00:08:40.532 --> 00:08:41.566
You're not supposed to live controlled by people, how
00:08:41.633 --> 00:08:43.435
Controlled by people, how it's not your responsibility
00:08:43.501 --> 00:08:44.936
It's not your responsibility to keep everyone happy, how
00:08:45.003 --> 00:08:46.671
To keep everyone happy, how you have to put up boundaries
00:08:46.738 --> 00:08:48.707
You have to put up boundaries to keep yourself healthy and
00:08:48.773 --> 00:08:50.809
To keep yourself healthy and whole. she decided to make a
00:08:50.875 --> 00:08:52.911
Whole. she decided to make a change. she told her mother
00:08:52.978 --> 00:08:55.313
Change. she told her mother that she loved her, but she
00:08:55.380 --> 00:08:57.282
That she loved her, but she couldn't meet all those
00:08:57.349 --> 00:08:58.116
Couldn't meet all those demands. she was going to
00:08:58.183 --> 00:08:59.751
Demands. she was going to care for her, but she wasn't
00:08:59.818 --> 00:09:01.553
Care for her, but she wasn't going to be able to do all
00:09:01.620 --> 00:09:03.154
Going to be able to do all she'd done in the past. the
00:09:03.221 --> 00:09:05.123
She'd done in the past. the mother got upset, went off on
00:09:05.190 --> 00:09:07.592
Mother got upset, went off on her, told her what a terrible
00:09:07.659 --> 00:09:09.361
Her, told her what a terrible daughter she was again. tried
00:09:09.427 --> 00:09:11.396
Daughter she was again. tried to guilt her and shame her.
00:09:11.463 --> 00:09:13.098
To guilt her and shame her. but this time, the daughter
00:09:13.164 --> 00:09:15.200
But this time, the daughter let it go in one ear and out
00:09:15.266 --> 00:09:16.901
Let it go in one ear and out the other. she had spent
00:09:16.968 --> 00:09:18.903
The other. she had spent years listening to how bad
00:09:18.970 --> 00:09:20.639
Years listening to how bad she was and how it was her
00:09:20.705 --> 00:09:22.273
She was and how it was her fault, how she wasn't
00:09:22.340 --> 00:09:23.808
Fault, how she wasn't attractive. you have to come
00:09:23.875 --> 00:09:25.944
Attractive. you have to come to that point where you say,
00:09:26.011 --> 00:09:27.379
To that point where you say, “enough is enough. i'm
00:09:27.445 --> 00:09:29.314
“enough is enough. i'm breaking free from this
00:09:29.381 --> 00:09:30.515
Breaking free from this bondage, from these lies,
00:09:30.582 --> 00:09:32.617
Bondage, from these lies, from this dysfunction.” you
00:09:32.684 --> 00:09:35.020
From this dysfunction.” you are not supposed to be a
00:09:35.086 --> 00:09:36.287
Are not supposed to be a doormat for people to walk
00:09:36.354 --> 00:09:38.123
Doormat for people to walk all over, control you, demean
00:09:38.189 --> 00:09:40.925
All over, control you, demean you, make you feel like
00:09:40.992 --> 00:09:42.360
You, make you feel like you're not good enough. god
00:09:42.427 --> 00:09:44.596
You're not good enough. god didn't create you to be in a
00:09:44.663 --> 00:09:45.964
Didn't create you to be in a toxic relationship, berated,
00:09:46.031 --> 00:09:49.034
Toxic relationship, berated, looked down on, abused,
00:09:49.100 --> 00:09:50.435
Looked down on, abused, manipulated. they may not
00:09:50.502 --> 00:09:52.671
Manipulated. they may not change. they like having you
00:09:52.737 --> 00:09:54.873
Change. they like having you as their pawn. you have to be
00:09:54.939 --> 00:09:56.841
As their pawn. you have to be the one to change. you have
00:09:56.908 --> 00:09:58.743
The one to change. you have to rise up. that's why god
00:09:58.810 --> 00:10:00.912
To rise up. that's why god has you hearing this today.
00:10:00.979 --> 00:10:02.714
Has you hearing this today. it's a day of freedom. a day
00:10:02.781 --> 00:10:04.549
It's a day of freedom. a day of breakthrough. a day where
00:10:04.616 --> 00:10:06.151
Of breakthrough. a day where those controlling,
00:10:06.217 --> 00:10:07.519
Those controlling, manipulating spirits are
00:10:07.585 --> 00:10:09.087
Manipulating spirits are being broken. that door is
00:10:09.154 --> 00:10:11.356
Being broken. that door is open, but you have to walk
00:10:11.423 --> 00:10:13.158
Open, but you have to walk out of it.
00:10:13.224 --> 00:10:14.626
Out of it. that's what this daughter
00:10:14.693 --> 00:10:15.560
That's what this daughter did. she told me how she felt
00:10:15.627 --> 00:10:17.829
Did. she told me how she felt all this pressure lift off of
00:10:17.896 --> 00:10:19.864
All this pressure lift off of her, all this heaviness. she
00:10:19.931 --> 00:10:22.033
Her, all this heaviness. she said, “i have not felt this
00:10:22.100 --> 00:10:23.501
Said, “i have not felt this kind of freedom, this kind of
00:10:23.568 --> 00:10:25.437
Kind of freedom, this kind of peace my whole life.” what's
00:10:25.503 --> 00:10:28.006
Peace my whole life.” what's interesting is the mother is
00:10:28.073 --> 00:10:29.708
Interesting is the mother is still the same, angry,
00:10:29.774 --> 00:10:31.676
Still the same, angry, bitter, upset, blaming her
00:10:31.743 --> 00:10:33.645
Bitter, upset, blaming her daughter, but this daughter
00:10:33.712 --> 00:10:35.346
Daughter, but this daughter is enjoying her life. are you
00:10:35.413 --> 00:10:37.916
Is enjoying her life. are you trying to keep someone happy
00:10:37.982 --> 00:10:39.584
Trying to keep someone happy that's never going to be
00:10:39.651 --> 00:10:40.485
That's never going to be happy? you have this false
00:10:40.552 --> 00:10:42.721
Happy? you have this false sense of responsibility that
00:10:42.787 --> 00:10:44.622
Sense of responsibility that you have to sacrifice your
00:10:44.689 --> 00:10:45.957
You have to sacrifice your happiness in order to fix
00:10:46.024 --> 00:10:47.659
Happiness in order to fix this other person. take that
00:10:47.726 --> 00:10:49.761
This other person. take that pressure off. that's not your
00:10:49.828 --> 00:10:51.596
Pressure off. that's not your job. your first priority is
00:10:51.663 --> 00:10:54.032
Job. your first priority is to take care of you. keep
00:10:54.099 --> 00:10:56.034
To take care of you. keep yourself healthy, whole,
00:10:56.101 --> 00:10:57.836
Yourself healthy, whole, free. this is especially hard
00:10:57.902 --> 00:11:00.905
Free. this is especially hard when it's someone close to
00:11:00.972 --> 00:11:02.073
When it's someone close to you, someone you love, a
00:11:02.140 --> 00:11:03.875
You, someone you love, a family member, a relative.
00:11:03.942 --> 00:11:06.044
Family member, a relative. always be kind but you have
00:11:06.111 --> 00:11:08.079
Always be kind but you have to be strong. if this
00:11:08.146 --> 00:11:09.914
To be strong. if this daughter had not made a
00:11:09.981 --> 00:11:11.082
Daughter had not made a change, she would have gone
00:11:11.149 --> 00:11:12.550
Change, she would have gone another twenty years,
00:11:12.617 --> 00:11:13.952
Another twenty years, depressed, overwhelmed,
00:11:14.018 --> 00:11:15.954
Depressed, overwhelmed, guilty, feeling wrong on the
00:11:16.020 --> 00:11:17.956
Guilty, feeling wrong on the inside, all because someone
00:11:18.022 --> 00:11:20.792
Inside, all because someone was putting unrealistic
00:11:20.859 --> 00:11:22.227
Was putting unrealistic demands on her.
00:11:22.293 --> 00:11:23.995
Demands on her. if you're going to break a
00:11:24.062 --> 00:11:24.996
If you're going to break a controlling spirit, you're
00:11:25.063 --> 00:11:26.631
Controlling spirit, you're going to have to be
00:11:26.698 --> 00:11:27.265
Going to have to be determined. because when you
00:11:27.332 --> 00:11:29.234
Determined. because when you don't do what you've been
00:11:29.300 --> 00:11:30.468
Don't do what you've been doing, what they expect,
00:11:30.535 --> 00:11:32.904
Doing, what they expect, they'll have a fit, get
00:11:32.971 --> 00:11:34.639
They'll have a fit, get upset, try to shame you, tell
00:11:34.706 --> 00:11:37.208
Upset, try to shame you, tell you all they've done for you,
00:11:37.275 --> 00:11:38.443
You all they've done for you, how could you not be there
00:11:38.510 --> 00:11:39.677
How could you not be there for them. don't buy into
00:11:39.744 --> 00:11:41.679
For them. don't buy into that. you have a destiny to
00:11:41.746 --> 00:11:43.381
That. you have a destiny to fulfill. god has given you an
00:11:43.448 --> 00:11:45.416
Fulfill. god has given you an assignment. but the enemy
00:11:45.483 --> 00:11:47.619
Assignment. but the enemy will use control,
00:11:47.685 --> 00:11:49.320
Will use control, manipulation, guilt, shame to
00:11:49.387 --> 00:11:51.723
Manipulation, guilt, shame to try to keep you from your
00:11:51.790 --> 00:11:52.724
Try to keep you from your purpose. it's time to break
00:11:52.791 --> 00:11:54.759
Purpose. it's time to break free. you have to put your
00:11:54.826 --> 00:11:56.361
Free. you have to put your foot down and say, “i love
00:11:56.427 --> 00:11:58.196
Foot down and say, “i love you, but i'm not going to let
00:11:58.263 --> 00:11:59.798
You, but i'm not going to let you control me. i love you,
00:11:59.864 --> 00:12:02.400
You control me. i love you, but i'm not going to
00:12:02.467 --> 00:12:03.234
But i'm not going to sacrifice my happiness to try
00:12:03.301 --> 00:12:05.603
Sacrifice my happiness to try to keep you happy.”
00:12:05.670 --> 00:12:07.272
To keep you happy.” that's not being selfish,
00:12:07.338 --> 00:12:09.107
That's not being selfish, that's being responsible with
00:12:09.174 --> 00:12:11.142
That's being responsible with the gift god has given you.
00:12:11.209 --> 00:12:12.544
The gift god has given you. he didn't create you to be
00:12:12.610 --> 00:12:14.579
He didn't create you to be controlled. yes, help others.
00:12:14.646 --> 00:12:16.714
Controlled. yes, help others. of course, be good to people
00:12:16.781 --> 00:12:18.817
Of course, be good to people don't let them control you.
00:12:18.883 --> 00:12:21.152
Don't let them control you. if they won't accept you
00:12:21.219 --> 00:12:22.720
If they won't accept you unless you perform up to
00:12:22.787 --> 00:12:24.122
Unless you perform up to their standards, meet all
00:12:24.189 --> 00:12:26.024
Their standards, meet all their expectations. no big
00:12:26.090 --> 00:12:27.625
Their expectations. no big deal. move on and god will
00:12:27.692 --> 00:12:29.828
Deal. move on and god will give you some real friends.
00:12:29.894 --> 00:12:31.729
Give you some real friends. that's not a friend. that's a
00:12:31.796 --> 00:12:32.764
That's not a friend. that's a manipulator. you don't need
00:12:32.831 --> 00:12:34.833
Manipulator. you don't need them for your destiny. the
00:12:34.899 --> 00:12:36.801
Them for your destiny. the sooner you move forward the
00:12:36.868 --> 00:12:38.236
Sooner you move forward the better you'll be. don't waste
00:12:38.303 --> 00:12:40.738
Better you'll be. don't waste time trying to play up to
00:12:40.805 --> 00:12:42.106
Time trying to play up to people, win them over. if you
00:12:42.173 --> 00:12:44.943
People, win them over. if you do good enough, they'll let
00:12:45.009 --> 00:12:46.311
Do good enough, they'll let you in their group, they'll
00:12:46.377 --> 00:12:47.846
You in their group, they'll approve you. if they don't
00:12:47.912 --> 00:12:49.747
Approve you. if they don't recognize the gift that you
00:12:49.814 --> 00:12:51.249
Recognize the gift that you are, you need to go somewhere
00:12:51.316 --> 00:12:52.817
Are, you need to go somewhere else. you don't have to
00:12:52.884 --> 00:12:54.953
Else. you don't have to convince people what you have
00:12:55.019 --> 00:12:56.921
Convince people what you have to offer, work hard enough,
00:12:56.988 --> 00:12:59.591
To offer, work hard enough, hoping they'll like you.
00:12:59.657 --> 00:13:00.725
Hoping they'll like you. maybe they'll show you favor.
00:13:00.792 --> 00:13:02.827
Maybe they'll show you favor. that's letting them control
00:13:02.894 --> 00:13:04.262
That's letting them control you. god has people he's
00:13:04.329 --> 00:13:06.631
You. god has people he's already lined up for you that
00:13:06.698 --> 00:13:08.466
Already lined up for you that will celebrate you, approve
00:13:08.533 --> 00:13:10.501
Will celebrate you, approve you, think that you're
00:13:10.568 --> 00:13:11.636
You, think that you're awesome. but until you get
00:13:11.703 --> 00:13:14.138
Awesome. but until you get rid of the wrong people,
00:13:14.205 --> 00:13:15.840
Rid of the wrong people, you'll never meet the right
00:13:15.907 --> 00:13:16.808
You'll never meet the right people. until you get rid of
00:13:16.875 --> 00:13:18.776
People. until you get rid of those jerks, i mean those
00:13:18.843 --> 00:13:19.844
Those jerks, i mean those controllers, you will never
00:13:19.911 --> 00:13:21.746
Controllers, you will never meet the divine connections.
00:13:21.813 --> 00:13:24.382
Meet the divine connections. if you're being controlled,
00:13:24.449 --> 00:13:25.750
If you're being controlled, manipulated, that's taking
00:13:25.817 --> 00:13:27.352
Manipulated, that's taking your valuable time and
00:13:27.418 --> 00:13:28.753
Your valuable time and energy. you need to do like
00:13:28.820 --> 00:13:30.788
Energy. you need to do like this daughter, recognize
00:13:30.855 --> 00:13:32.457
This daughter, recognize what's happening and make a
00:13:32.523 --> 00:13:33.858
What's happening and make a change. break that
00:13:33.925 --> 00:13:35.593
Change. break that controlling spirit. don't go
00:13:35.660 --> 00:13:37.395
Controlling spirit. don't go the next twenty years letting
00:13:37.462 --> 00:13:39.030
The next twenty years letting that take your joy and keep
00:13:39.097 --> 00:13:40.832
That take your joy and keep you from the amazing future
00:13:40.899 --> 00:13:42.634
You from the amazing future god has for you.
00:13:42.700 --> 00:13:44.469
God has for you. years ago, there was this man
00:13:44.535 --> 00:13:46.271
Years ago, there was this man i knew from school, we had
00:13:46.337 --> 00:13:48.139
I knew from school, we had the same group of friends.
00:13:48.206 --> 00:13:50.074
The same group of friends. anytime he had a problem,
00:13:50.141 --> 00:13:51.676
Anytime he had a problem, something dealing with a
00:13:51.743 --> 00:13:52.577
Something dealing with a relationship, he would look
00:13:52.644 --> 00:13:54.379
Relationship, he would look to me to correct it. every
00:13:54.445 --> 00:13:56.447
To me to correct it. every couple of weeks, i would get
00:13:56.514 --> 00:13:57.515
Couple of weeks, i would get a text. it was always an
00:13:57.582 --> 00:13:59.183
A text. it was always an emergency. “this has happened
00:13:59.250 --> 00:14:01.552
Emergency. “this has happened and it's not right. i'm upset
00:14:01.619 --> 00:14:03.721
And it's not right. i'm upset and you need to figure it
00:14:03.788 --> 00:14:04.589
And you need to figure it out.” for some reason, i took
00:14:04.656 --> 00:14:07.625
Out.” for some reason, i took this responsibility to become
00:14:07.692 --> 00:14:09.761
This responsibility to become his personal problem solver.
00:14:09.827 --> 00:14:12.430
His personal problem solver. i'm nice. my personality is a
00:14:12.497 --> 00:14:14.565
I'm nice. my personality is a peacemaker. i want to keep
00:14:14.632 --> 00:14:15.967
Peacemaker. i want to keep everyone happy. so, i would
00:14:16.034 --> 00:14:17.635
Everyone happy. so, i would drop what i was doing and go
00:14:17.702 --> 00:14:18.870
Drop what i was doing and go to work. i've got to fix this
00:14:18.937 --> 00:14:21.039
To work. i've got to fix this and straighten out this,
00:14:21.105 --> 00:14:22.540
And straighten out this, convince this person. i would
00:14:22.607 --> 00:14:24.742
Convince this person. i would get one thing solved and a
00:14:24.809 --> 00:14:26.244
Get one thing solved and a week later, he'd call back
00:14:26.311 --> 00:14:27.712
Week later, he'd call back more upset. “so and so said
00:14:27.779 --> 00:14:29.948
More upset. “so and so said this and if this happens
00:14:30.014 --> 00:14:31.516
This and if this happens again, i'm going to do this.”
00:14:31.582 --> 00:14:32.617
Again, i'm going to do this.” i thought, “oh man, this is
00:14:32.684 --> 00:14:33.785
I thought, “oh man, this is bad. i've got to get right on
00:14:33.851 --> 00:14:35.586
Bad. i've got to get right on this.” i lived on edge, just
00:14:35.653 --> 00:14:38.122
This.” i lived on edge, just waiting for the next text,
00:14:38.189 --> 00:14:39.624
Waiting for the next text, the next crisis. i would get
00:14:39.691 --> 00:14:41.359
The next crisis. i would get one thing worked out, but it
00:14:41.426 --> 00:14:43.027
One thing worked out, but it would never be enough. there
00:14:43.094 --> 00:14:44.796
Would never be enough. there was always something he was
00:14:44.862 --> 00:14:46.230
Was always something he was unhappy about. when i would
00:14:46.297 --> 00:14:48.166
Unhappy about. when i would see his name come up on my
00:14:48.232 --> 00:14:49.667
See his name come up on my phone, a text or a call, my
00:14:49.734 --> 00:14:51.803
Phone, a text or a call, my heart would sink. i dreaded
00:14:51.869 --> 00:14:53.604
Heart would sink. i dreaded it. this went on for two
00:14:53.671 --> 00:14:55.106
It. this went on for two years.
00:14:55.173 --> 00:14:56.607
Years. be aware of high maintenance
00:14:56.674 --> 00:14:58.609
Be aware of high maintenance people. high maintenance
00:14:58.676 --> 00:15:00.178
People. high maintenance people are almost always
00:15:00.244 --> 00:15:01.546
People are almost always controllers. they're always
00:15:01.612 --> 00:15:03.581
Controllers. they're always having an emergency. they
00:15:03.648 --> 00:15:05.483
Having an emergency. they blow everything out of
00:15:05.550 --> 00:15:06.417
Blow everything out of proportion, create all this
00:15:06.484 --> 00:15:08.386
Proportion, create all this drama. if you don't have a
00:15:08.453 --> 00:15:10.321
Drama. if you don't have a boundary up, they'll pull you
00:15:10.388 --> 00:15:11.990
Boundary up, they'll pull you into that drama. all that is
00:15:12.056 --> 00:15:14.559
Into that drama. all that is is a distraction from your
00:15:14.625 --> 00:15:16.160
Is a distraction from your purpose. you're carrying all
00:15:16.227 --> 00:15:17.962
Purpose. you're carrying all this weight and pressure,
00:15:18.029 --> 00:15:19.630
This weight and pressure, trying to fix things that
00:15:19.697 --> 00:15:21.099
Trying to fix things that don't have anything to do
00:15:21.165 --> 00:15:22.166
Don't have anything to do with you, trying to appease
00:15:22.233 --> 00:15:23.835
With you, trying to appease someone that doesn't have
00:15:23.901 --> 00:15:25.603
Someone that doesn't have your best interest at heart.
00:15:25.670 --> 00:15:27.672
Your best interest at heart. one day i realized what i'm
00:15:27.739 --> 00:15:29.273
One day i realized what i'm telling you, that was a
00:15:29.340 --> 00:15:30.708
Telling you, that was a controlling spirit. i was
00:15:30.775 --> 00:15:33.244
Controlling spirit. i was doing it out of guilt. “i
00:15:33.311 --> 00:15:34.912
Doing it out of guilt. “i can't let him down, what will
00:15:34.979 --> 00:15:36.848
Can't let him down, what will he think, he may get upset,
00:15:36.914 --> 00:15:38.916
He think, he may get upset, he may not be my friend.” all
00:15:38.983 --> 00:15:41.386
He may not be my friend.” all this pressure trying to keep
00:15:41.452 --> 00:15:43.121
This pressure trying to keep him happy, and at the same
00:15:43.187 --> 00:15:44.956
Him happy, and at the same time i wasn't happy. i was
00:15:45.023 --> 00:15:47.525
Time i wasn't happy. i was sacrificing my joy, my peace,
00:15:47.592 --> 00:15:49.794
Sacrificing my joy, my peace, my emotional well-being to
00:15:49.861 --> 00:15:52.363
My emotional well-being to please him. i did what i'm
00:15:52.430 --> 00:15:54.465
Please him. i did what i'm asking you to do. the next
00:15:54.532 --> 00:15:56.601
Asking you to do. the next time he called, i was
00:15:56.667 --> 00:15:58.069
Time he called, i was respectful, but i said, “i'm
00:15:58.136 --> 00:15:59.604
Respectful, but i said, “i'm so sorry but i can't help you
00:15:59.670 --> 00:16:01.606
So sorry but i can't help you this time. my plate is full.
00:16:01.672 --> 00:16:04.275
This time. my plate is full. i have commitments. you're
00:16:04.342 --> 00:16:05.710
I have commitments. you're going to have to work this
00:16:05.777 --> 00:16:06.577
Going to have to work this out.” you would have thought
00:16:06.644 --> 00:16:08.880
Out.” you would have thought i took his wife and children.
00:16:08.946 --> 00:16:10.782
I took his wife and children. he got upset and angry, told
00:16:10.848 --> 00:16:13.684
He got upset and angry, told me how i wasn't a friend and
00:16:13.751 --> 00:16:15.353
Me how i wasn't a friend and how could i let him down. the
00:16:15.420 --> 00:16:17.188
How could i let him down. the funny thing is that didn't
00:16:17.255 --> 00:16:19.057
Funny thing is that didn't bother me at all. i thought i
00:16:19.123 --> 00:16:20.825
Bother me at all. i thought i would feel bad, wrong, it's
00:16:20.892 --> 00:16:22.727
Would feel bad, wrong, it's be so hard. but it was just
00:16:22.794 --> 00:16:24.429
Be so hard. but it was just the opposite. i felt peace, i
00:16:24.495 --> 00:16:26.664
The opposite. i felt peace, i felt joy, i felt relieved. i
00:16:26.731 --> 00:16:28.966
Felt joy, i felt relieved. i hung up the phone and went
00:16:29.033 --> 00:16:30.168
Hung up the phone and went and played with my children,
00:16:30.234 --> 00:16:31.669
And played with my children, laughed with victoria, had a
00:16:31.736 --> 00:16:33.137
Laughed with victoria, had a fun time with my family.
00:16:33.204 --> 00:16:35.406
Fun time with my family. instead of me being unhappy,
00:16:35.473 --> 00:16:37.442
Instead of me being unhappy, i decided to let him be
00:16:37.508 --> 00:16:38.976
I decided to let him be unhappy.
00:16:39.043 --> 00:16:40.445
Unhappy. maybe it's time for you to be
00:16:40.511 --> 00:16:42.113
Maybe it's time for you to be happy and let that other
00:16:42.180 --> 00:16:43.881
Happy and let that other person be unhappy. you cannot
00:16:43.948 --> 00:16:46.350
Person be unhappy. you cannot keep everyone fixed. don't be
00:16:46.417 --> 00:16:49.020
Keep everyone fixed. don't be guilted into that false sense
00:16:49.087 --> 00:16:50.822
Guilted into that false sense of responsibility. i'm not
00:16:50.888 --> 00:16:53.157
Of responsibility. i'm not saying to not help others. be
00:16:53.224 --> 00:16:55.126
Saying to not help others. be kind. be giving, but don't
00:16:55.193 --> 00:16:57.161
Kind. be giving, but don't live under a controlling
00:16:57.228 --> 00:16:58.796
Live under a controlling spirit. people will take as
00:16:58.863 --> 00:17:01.299
Spirit. people will take as much as you allow. he tried
00:17:01.365 --> 00:17:03.501
Much as you allow. he tried to guilt me, shame me, not
00:17:03.568 --> 00:17:05.103
To guilt me, shame me, not loyal, not a friend. but i
00:17:05.169 --> 00:17:06.904
Loyal, not a friend. but i knew the only way to break
00:17:06.971 --> 00:17:08.239
Knew the only way to break that controlling spirit was
00:17:08.306 --> 00:17:09.640
That controlling spirit was to be strong. i quit
00:17:09.707 --> 00:17:11.609
To be strong. i quit responding to his text. i
00:17:11.676 --> 00:17:13.711
Responding to his text. i didn't answer the phone. for
00:17:13.778 --> 00:17:15.513
Didn't answer the phone. for me to do that, that was a
00:17:15.580 --> 00:17:16.481
Me to do that, that was a miracle. but if i had not
00:17:16.547 --> 00:17:18.749
Miracle. but if i had not done it, i'd still be dealing
00:17:18.816 --> 00:17:20.218
Done it, i'd still be dealing with it. there are
00:17:20.284 --> 00:17:21.919
With it. there are controlling spirits that want
00:17:21.986 --> 00:17:23.921
Controlling spirits that want to keep you from your
00:17:23.988 --> 00:17:25.022
To keep you from your purpose. to where you waste
00:17:25.089 --> 00:17:26.791
Purpose. to where you waste your valuable time on things
00:17:26.858 --> 00:17:28.793
Your valuable time on things that are not a part of your
00:17:28.860 --> 00:17:29.794
That are not a part of your destiny, trying to keep
00:17:29.861 --> 00:17:31.796
Destiny, trying to keep someone happy, letting guilt
00:17:31.863 --> 00:17:33.898
Someone happy, letting guilt and manipulation keep you
00:17:33.965 --> 00:17:35.800
And manipulation keep you where you're not supposed to
00:17:35.867 --> 00:17:36.834
Where you're not supposed to be. why don't you break free?
00:17:36.901 --> 00:17:39.871
Be. why don't you break free? those things you don't feel
00:17:39.937 --> 00:17:41.105
Those things you don't feel good about, ask yourself why
00:17:41.172 --> 00:17:42.807
Good about, ask yourself why you are doing it. is it
00:17:42.874 --> 00:17:44.242
You are doing it. is it guilt? “what are they going
00:17:44.308 --> 00:17:45.977
Guilt? “what are they going to think? they expect me to
00:17:46.043 --> 00:17:47.545
To think? they expect me to do it. i hope to win their
00:17:47.612 --> 00:17:48.946
Do it. i hope to win their favor.” those are all signs
00:17:49.013 --> 00:17:51.315
Favor.” those are all signs of control and manipulation.
00:17:51.382 --> 00:17:53.151
Of control and manipulation. in genesis 12, god told
00:17:53.217 --> 00:17:56.187
In genesis 12, god told abraham to leave his
00:17:56.254 --> 00:17:57.355
Abraham to leave his relatives, leave his father's
00:17:57.421 --> 00:17:59.390
Relatives, leave his father's house and go to a land that
00:17:59.457 --> 00:18:01.125
House and go to a land that he would show him. god
00:18:01.192 --> 00:18:02.627
He would show him. god promised he would bless him
00:18:02.693 --> 00:18:03.728
Promised he would bless him in a great way. abraham left.
00:18:03.794 --> 00:18:06.397
In a great way. abraham left. he was being obedient but he
00:18:06.464 --> 00:18:08.399
He was being obedient but he took his nephew lot and all
00:18:08.466 --> 00:18:10.434
Took his nephew lot and all of his family and his herds.
00:18:10.501 --> 00:18:12.670
Of his family and his herds. god just specifically told
00:18:12.737 --> 00:18:14.071
God just specifically told him to leave his relatives.
00:18:14.138 --> 00:18:15.273
Him to leave his relatives. but i can imagine abraham
00:18:15.339 --> 00:18:17.408
But i can imagine abraham thought, “i can't leave lot.
00:18:17.475 --> 00:18:19.744
Thought, “i can't leave lot. he may get his feelings hurt.
00:18:19.810 --> 00:18:21.145
He may get his feelings hurt. he may not understand.” he
00:18:21.212 --> 00:18:23.381
He may not understand.” he felt responsible to keep lot
00:18:23.447 --> 00:18:25.750
Felt responsible to keep lot happy, to take care of his
00:18:25.816 --> 00:18:27.518
Happy, to take care of his family, make sure they were
00:18:27.585 --> 00:18:28.819
Family, make sure they were okay. abraham had good
00:18:28.886 --> 00:18:31.189
Okay. abraham had good intentions but it wasn't what
00:18:31.255 --> 00:18:32.990
Intentions but it wasn't what god called him to do.
00:18:33.057 --> 00:18:35.193
God called him to do. sometimes like abraham, we're
00:18:35.259 --> 00:18:37.361
Sometimes like abraham, we're doing things because we're
00:18:37.428 --> 00:18:38.596
Doing things because we're good hearted, we want to help
00:18:38.663 --> 00:18:40.898
Good hearted, we want to help this relative. we need to put
00:18:40.965 --> 00:18:42.667
This relative. we need to put our dream on hold to take
00:18:42.733 --> 00:18:44.035
Our dream on hold to take care of this friend. this
00:18:44.101 --> 00:18:45.703
Care of this friend. this coworker's struggling, so we
00:18:45.770 --> 00:18:47.538
Coworker's struggling, so we sacrifice our goals to be
00:18:47.605 --> 00:18:49.307
Sacrifice our goals to be good to someone else. but
00:18:49.373 --> 00:18:51.509
Good to someone else. but your dream has an expiration
00:18:51.576 --> 00:18:53.544
Your dream has an expiration date. your assignment isn't
00:18:53.611 --> 00:18:55.846
Date. your assignment isn't going to last forever. there
00:18:55.913 --> 00:18:57.682
Going to last forever. there are windows of opportunities
00:18:57.748 --> 00:18:59.383
Are windows of opportunities that god presents us with. it
00:18:59.450 --> 00:19:01.619
That god presents us with. it is not selfish to run your
00:19:01.686 --> 00:19:03.354
Is not selfish to run your race. you can't help
00:19:03.421 --> 00:19:05.223
Race. you can't help everyone. you can't fix every
00:19:05.289 --> 00:19:07.458
Everyone. you can't fix every problem. you can't keep all
00:19:07.525 --> 00:19:09.360
Problem. you can't keep all your family and friends
00:19:09.427 --> 00:19:10.628
Your family and friends happy. we should always be
00:19:10.695 --> 00:19:12.863
Happy. we should always be good to people, but you have
00:19:12.930 --> 00:19:14.665
Good to people, but you have to know your assignment, so
00:19:14.732 --> 00:19:16.567
To know your assignment, so you don't get distracted,
00:19:16.634 --> 00:19:18.569
You don't get distracted, taking responsibility for
00:19:18.636 --> 00:19:20.071
Taking responsibility for something you're not
00:19:20.137 --> 00:19:21.472
Something you're not responsible for.
00:19:21.539 --> 00:19:23.241
Responsible for. abraham and lot arrived at
00:19:23.307 --> 00:19:24.675
Abraham and lot arrived at their new property. it was
00:19:24.742 --> 00:19:26.444
Their new property. it was beautiful. they were excited.
00:19:26.510 --> 00:19:28.980
Beautiful. they were excited. the problem was, with all
00:19:29.046 --> 00:19:30.715
The problem was, with all their flocks, all their
00:19:30.781 --> 00:19:31.916
Their flocks, all their herds, the land wasn't big
00:19:31.983 --> 00:19:33.784
Herds, the land wasn't big enough to sustain them both.
00:19:33.851 --> 00:19:36.354
Enough to sustain them both. their shepherds started
00:19:36.420 --> 00:19:37.355
Their shepherds started arguing. there was strife and
00:19:37.421 --> 00:19:39.557
Arguing. there was strife and contention, this big mess. it
00:19:39.624 --> 00:19:42.059
Contention, this big mess. it could have all been avoided,
00:19:42.126 --> 00:19:43.995
Could have all been avoided, if abraham would have left
00:19:44.061 --> 00:19:45.830
If abraham would have left who god told him to leave.
00:19:45.896 --> 00:19:48.099
Who god told him to leave. when we hang on to things
00:19:48.165 --> 00:19:49.600
When we hang on to things that god tells us to leave,
00:19:49.667 --> 00:19:51.636
That god tells us to leave, it always causes problems.
00:19:51.702 --> 00:19:53.938
It always causes problems. sometimes we won't walk away
00:19:54.005 --> 00:19:56.107
Sometimes we won't walk away from a relationship even
00:19:56.173 --> 00:19:57.875
From a relationship even though we know it's not good
00:19:57.942 --> 00:19:59.043
Though we know it's not good for us. we know we're being
00:19:59.110 --> 00:20:00.911
For us. we know we're being controlled. we know they're
00:20:00.978 --> 00:20:02.747
Controlled. we know they're not treating us with respect.
00:20:02.813 --> 00:20:04.849
Not treating us with respect. they don't value who we are,
00:20:04.915 --> 00:20:06.350
They don't value who we are, but we keep thinking, we'll
00:20:06.417 --> 00:20:07.551
But we keep thinking, we'll change their mind. the longer
00:20:07.618 --> 00:20:09.920
Change their mind. the longer you stay, the more difficult
00:20:09.987 --> 00:20:11.722
You stay, the more difficult it's going to be, the more
00:20:11.789 --> 00:20:13.357
It's going to be, the more struggle, the more
00:20:13.424 --> 00:20:14.258
Struggle, the more frustration. when we hang on
00:20:14.325 --> 00:20:16.627
Frustration. when we hang on to lot, the problem is,
00:20:16.694 --> 00:20:18.763
To lot, the problem is, there's no blessing on what
00:20:18.829 --> 00:20:20.598
There's no blessing on what god told us to leave. there's
00:20:20.665 --> 00:20:22.767
God told us to leave. there's no grace on what we were
00:20:22.833 --> 00:20:24.435
No grace on what we were supposed to walk away from.
00:20:24.502 --> 00:20:26.737
Supposed to walk away from. one reason we don't want to
00:20:26.804 --> 00:20:28.139
One reason we don't want to leave lot, is we think we
00:20:28.205 --> 00:20:29.607
Leave lot, is we think we won't have any friends. we'll
00:20:29.674 --> 00:20:31.409
Won't have any friends. we'll be lonely. we'll never meet
00:20:31.475 --> 00:20:33.110
Be lonely. we'll never meet anyone. you may be lonely for
00:20:33.177 --> 00:20:35.513
Anyone. you may be lonely for a season, but god will bring
00:20:35.579 --> 00:20:37.281
A season, but god will bring you new friends, better
00:20:37.348 --> 00:20:39.016
You new friends, better friends. friends that push
00:20:39.083 --> 00:20:40.685
Friends. friends that push you up, and not pull you
00:20:40.751 --> 00:20:41.819
You up, and not pull you down. friends that bring out
00:20:41.886 --> 00:20:43.387
Down. friends that bring out the best, cause you to
00:20:43.454 --> 00:20:44.822
The best, cause you to blossom, not people that
00:20:44.889 --> 00:20:46.724
Blossom, not people that hinder you, and cause you to
00:20:46.791 --> 00:20:48.326
Hinder you, and cause you to shrink back.
00:20:48.392 --> 00:20:49.860
Shrink back. is god asking you to leave
00:20:49.927 --> 00:20:51.329
Is god asking you to leave lot? but you keep making
00:20:51.395 --> 00:20:52.830
Lot? but you keep making excuses, taking him with you.
00:20:52.897 --> 00:20:55.900
Excuses, taking him with you. lot may be the people at work
00:20:55.966 --> 00:20:57.902
Lot may be the people at work that sit around at lunch and
00:20:57.968 --> 00:20:59.203
That sit around at lunch and gossip, talk bad about the
00:20:59.270 --> 00:21:01.072
Gossip, talk bad about the company. why don't you eat
00:21:01.138 --> 00:21:02.873
Company. why don't you eat somewhere else? you can't
00:21:02.940 --> 00:21:04.675
Somewhere else? you can't reach your destiny hanging
00:21:04.742 --> 00:21:06.110
Reach your destiny hanging around people like that. lot
00:21:06.177 --> 00:21:08.346
Around people like that. lot may be that friend that
00:21:08.412 --> 00:21:09.914
May be that friend that causes you to compromise,
00:21:09.980 --> 00:21:11.716
Causes you to compromise, that neighbor that brings out
00:21:11.782 --> 00:21:13.017
That neighbor that brings out the worst in you, that cousin
00:21:13.084 --> 00:21:15.152
The worst in you, that cousin that's not going anywhere.
00:21:15.219 --> 00:21:17.355
That's not going anywhere. you need people around you
00:21:17.421 --> 00:21:18.356
You need people around you that inspire you, people that
00:21:18.422 --> 00:21:20.758
That inspire you, people that cause you to dream bigger,
00:21:20.825 --> 00:21:22.393
Cause you to dream bigger, people that honor god, that
00:21:22.460 --> 00:21:24.061
People that honor god, that love their family, that treat
00:21:24.128 --> 00:21:25.863
Love their family, that treat their spouse with respect,
00:21:25.930 --> 00:21:27.698
Their spouse with respect, people that are going places,
00:21:27.765 --> 00:21:29.567
People that are going places, making a difference, setting
00:21:29.633 --> 00:21:31.068
Making a difference, setting new standards. if you won't
00:21:31.135 --> 00:21:33.237
New standards. if you won't separate yourself from
00:21:33.304 --> 00:21:34.739
Separate yourself from unhealthy relationships, from
00:21:34.805 --> 00:21:37.041
Unhealthy relationships, from people you know are not good
00:21:37.108 --> 00:21:38.275
People you know are not good for you, that's where you'll
00:21:38.342 --> 00:21:39.777
For you, that's where you'll get stuck. god has something
00:21:39.844 --> 00:21:42.079
Get stuck. god has something better, the problem is you
00:21:42.146 --> 00:21:43.914
Better, the problem is you still have lot. that's wherer
00:21:43.981 --> 00:21:45.716
Still have lot. that's wherer there's conflict, struggle,
00:21:45.783 --> 00:21:47.318
There's conflict, struggle, mediocrity. do yourself a
00:21:47.385 --> 00:21:49.019
Mediocrity. do yourself a favor, get rid of lot.
00:21:49.086 --> 00:21:51.722
Favor, get rid of lot. there's a calling on your
00:21:51.789 --> 00:21:52.923
There's a calling on your life, an assignment that only
00:21:52.990 --> 00:21:55.025
Life, an assignment that only you can accomplish. you
00:21:55.092 --> 00:21:56.961
You can accomplish. you cannot reach it with
00:21:57.027 --> 00:21:57.962
Cannot reach it with critical, jealous, bitter,
00:21:58.028 --> 00:22:00.231
Critical, jealous, bitter, controlling people. could it
00:22:00.297 --> 00:22:02.566
Controlling people. could it be that your one friendship
00:22:02.633 --> 00:22:04.668
Be that your one friendship away from going to a new
00:22:04.735 --> 00:22:06.103
Away from going to a new level? if you'll just get rid
00:22:06.170 --> 00:22:08.239
Level? if you'll just get rid of lot, you'll see new doors
00:22:08.305 --> 00:22:09.607
Of lot, you'll see new doors open, greater favor,
00:22:09.673 --> 00:22:11.876
Open, greater favor, relationships better than
00:22:11.942 --> 00:22:13.344
Relationships better than you've ever imagined.
00:22:13.411 --> 00:22:15.379
You've ever imagined. because the land couldn't
00:22:15.446 --> 00:22:16.714
Because the land couldn't sustain them both, they had
00:22:16.781 --> 00:22:18.482
Sustain them both, they had to separate. abraham didn't
00:22:18.549 --> 00:22:20.751
To separate. abraham didn't leave lot when god first told
00:22:20.818 --> 00:22:22.620
Leave lot when god first told him to, but god always gets
00:22:22.686 --> 00:22:24.755
Him to, but god always gets his way. sooner or later, lot
00:22:24.822 --> 00:22:27.925
His way. sooner or later, lot is going to go. they went
00:22:27.992 --> 00:22:29.193
Is going to go. they went their separate ways. lot and
00:22:29.260 --> 00:22:31.028
Their separate ways. lot and all of his family got
00:22:31.095 --> 00:22:32.496
All of his family got captured by bandits. more
00:22:32.563 --> 00:22:34.598
Captured by bandits. more trouble. abraham had to go
00:22:34.665 --> 00:22:36.567
Trouble. abraham had to go rescue lot. he spent all this
00:22:36.634 --> 00:22:38.502
Rescue lot. he spent all this time and energy fighting
00:22:38.569 --> 00:22:40.404
Time and energy fighting battles he would have never
00:22:40.471 --> 00:22:41.472
Battles he would have never had to fight if he had just
00:22:41.539 --> 00:22:43.274
Had to fight if he had just left lot in the first place.
00:22:43.340 --> 00:22:46.143
Left lot in the first place. paul said in 1 corinthians 9,
00:22:46.210 --> 00:22:47.878
Paul said in 1 corinthians 9, “i am free in every way from
00:22:47.945 --> 00:22:50.714
“i am free in every way from anyone's control.” that's my
00:22:50.781 --> 00:22:53.150
Anyone's control.” that's my prayer for you. that you're
00:22:53.217 --> 00:22:54.718
Prayer for you. that you're not going to live controlled
00:22:54.785 --> 00:22:56.120
Not going to live controlled by people, manipulated into
00:22:56.187 --> 00:22:58.522
By people, manipulated into doing things out of guilt,
00:22:58.589 --> 00:23:00.424
Doing things out of guilt, thinking you're responsible
00:23:00.491 --> 00:23:01.725
Thinking you're responsible to keep everyone happy, but
00:23:01.792 --> 00:23:03.527
To keep everyone happy, but that you will live your life
00:23:03.594 --> 00:23:04.795
That you will live your life free. now do your part and
00:23:04.862 --> 00:23:07.498
Free. now do your part and put some boundaries up. quit
00:23:07.565 --> 00:23:09.633
Put some boundaries up. quit acquiescing to everyone's
00:23:09.700 --> 00:23:11.202
Acquiescing to everyone's demands, thinking you may
00:23:11.268 --> 00:23:12.837
Demands, thinking you may hurt their feelings.
00:23:12.903 --> 00:23:14.238
Hurt their feelings. remember, if someone is
00:23:14.305 --> 00:23:15.306
Remember, if someone is controlling you, it's not
00:23:15.372 --> 00:23:16.941
Controlling you, it's not their fault, it's yours. you
00:23:17.007 --> 00:23:19.109
Their fault, it's yours. you have to take action. don't go
00:23:19.176 --> 00:23:21.445
Have to take action. don't go the next twenty years weighed
00:23:21.512 --> 00:23:23.280
The next twenty years weighed down in unhealthy
00:23:23.347 --> 00:23:24.348
Down in unhealthy relationships, toxic
00:23:24.415 --> 00:23:26.217
Relationships, toxic relationships, giving in to
00:23:26.283 --> 00:23:28.152
Relationships, giving in to unrealistic demands. it's
00:23:28.219 --> 00:23:30.488
Unrealistic demands. it's time to break free. today can
00:23:30.554 --> 00:23:32.756
Time to break free. today can be a turning point. you have
00:23:32.823 --> 00:23:34.592
Be a turning point. you have a destiny to fulfill. god is
00:23:34.658 --> 00:23:36.861
A destiny to fulfill. god is counting on you to take your
00:23:36.927 --> 00:23:38.395
Counting on you to take your family to a new level. get
00:23:38.462 --> 00:23:40.231
Family to a new level. get focused, get free and get
00:23:40.297 --> 00:23:42.233
Focused, get free and get ready. if you'll do this, i
00:23:42.299 --> 00:23:44.435
Ready. if you'll do this, i believe and declare, that
00:23:44.502 --> 00:23:46.337
Believe and declare, that spirit of control and
00:23:46.403 --> 00:23:47.872
Spirit of control and manipulation is being broken
00:23:47.938 --> 00:23:50.307
Manipulation is being broken right now. you're going to
00:23:50.374 --> 00:23:51.876
Right now. you're going to have a new grace, a new
00:23:51.942 --> 00:23:53.744
Have a new grace, a new boldness to step up to who
00:23:53.811 --> 00:23:56.046
Boldness to step up to who you were created to be.
00:23:56.113 --> 00:23:57.715
You were created to be. greater favor is coming, new
00:23:57.781 --> 00:23:59.783
Greater favor is coming, new relationships, new
00:23:59.850 --> 00:24:01.118
Relationships, new opportunities, the fullness
00:24:01.185 --> 00:24:03.120
Opportunities, the fullness of your destiny, in jesus'
00:24:03.187 --> 00:24:05.489
Of your destiny, in jesus' name. if you receive it, can
00:24:05.556 --> 00:24:07.591
Name. if you receive it, can you say amen?
00:24:07.658 --> 00:24:09.593
Some of us have been carrying
00:24:10.127 --> 00:24:11.662
Some of us have been carrying the same weight for years:
00:24:11.729 --> 00:24:13.631
The same weight for years: mistakes, regrets,
00:24:13.697 --> 00:24:15.499
Mistakes, regrets, what people said.
00:24:15.566 --> 00:24:16.767
What people said. what if you were never meant to
00:24:16.834 --> 00:24:18.369
What if you were never meant to carry any of it?
00:24:18.435 --> 00:24:20.137
Carry any of it? it's easy
00:24:20.204 --> 00:24:20.771
It's easy in life to wear labels.
00:24:20.838 --> 00:24:22.139
In life to wear labels. mistakes we've made
00:24:22.206 --> 00:24:23.173
Mistakes we've made and what people have said.
00:24:23.240 --> 00:24:24.708
And what people have said. disappointments we face.
00:24:24.775 --> 00:24:26.510
Disappointments we face. those labels can diminish
00:24:26.577 --> 00:24:28.145
Those labels can diminish our sense of value
00:24:28.212 --> 00:24:29.179
Our sense of value and cause us to forget
00:24:29.246 --> 00:24:30.548
And cause us to forget who we really are.
00:24:30.614 --> 00:24:31.582
I have a new book called
00:24:31.682 --> 00:24:32.917
Made by god: know it,led
00:24:33.017 --> 00:24:34.618
Receive it and live it.
00:24:34.718 --> 00:24:36.220
It'll help and live it.
00:24:36.320 --> 00:24:36.820
It'll help and live it. you see yourself
00:24:36.887 --> 00:24:37.621
You see yourself the way god sees you:
00:24:37.688 --> 00:24:38.856
The way god sees you: valuable, talented, worthy,
00:24:38.923 --> 00:24:41.325
Valuable, talented, worthy, a masterpiece.
00:24:41.392 --> 00:24:42.459
A masterpiece. you've been fearfully
00:24:42.526 --> 00:24:43.494
You've been fearfully and wonderfully made.
00:24:43.561 --> 00:24:45.062
And wonderfully made. i would love to send you
00:24:45.129 --> 00:24:45.829
I would love to send you my new book,
00:24:45.896 --> 00:24:46.630
My new book, plus the made by god t-shirt
00:24:46.697 --> 00:24:48.532
Plus the made by god t-shirt from our good friends
00:24:48.599 --> 00:24:49.500
From our good friends at copper fit.
00:24:49.567 --> 00:24:50.634
At copper fit. when you know who you are
00:24:50.701 --> 00:24:51.969
When you know who you are and whose you are,
00:24:52.036 --> 00:24:53.270
And whose you are, a child of the most high,
00:24:53.337 --> 00:24:54.872
A child of the most high, you can live with confidence
00:24:54.939 --> 00:24:56.373
You can live with confidence and step in
00:24:56.440 --> 00:24:57.474
And step in to who you were created to be.
00:24:57.575 --> 00:24:59.743
To who you were created to be. as our way of saying thank you
00:24:59.843 --> 00:25:01.645
As our way of saying thank you for your gift of any amount
00:25:01.712 --> 00:25:03.213
For your gift of any amount this month,
00:25:03.280 --> 00:25:03.948
This month, we would like to send you
00:25:04.014 --> 00:25:05.049
We would like to send you a copy of joel's
00:25:05.115 --> 00:25:06.183
A copy of joel's brand new book,
00:25:06.250 --> 00:25:07.418
Brand new book, made by god: know it.
00:25:07.484 --> 00:25:09.420
Receive it. live it.
00:25:09.520 --> 00:25:11.088
You were not made by
00:25:11.188 --> 00:25:12.256
You were not made by your mistakes.
00:25:12.323 --> 00:25:13.390
Your mistakes. you were not made by
00:25:13.457 --> 00:25:14.458
You were not made by what people said.
00:25:14.525 --> 00:25:15.793
What people said. you were not made by
00:25:15.859 --> 00:25:16.894
You were not made by your hardest season.
00:25:16.961 --> 00:25:18.295
Your hardest season. you were made
00:25:18.362 --> 00:25:19.096
You were made by god
00:25:19.163 --> 00:25:20.097
By god on purpose, with purpose.
00:25:20.164 --> 00:25:22.099
On purpose, with purpose. and nothing can change that.
00:25:22.166 --> 00:25:24.101
And nothing can change that. this powerful book
00:25:24.168 --> 00:25:25.569
This powerful book will help you
00:25:25.636 --> 00:25:26.270
Will help you silence
00:25:26.337 --> 00:25:26.770
Silence the labels life has put on you,
00:25:26.837 --> 00:25:28.706
The labels life has put on you, and finally see yourself
00:25:28.772 --> 00:25:30.608
And finally see yourself the way
00:25:30.674 --> 00:25:31.075
The way god sees you:
00:25:31.141 --> 00:25:32.676
God sees you: valuable,
00:25:32.743 --> 00:25:33.711
Valuable, talented, a masterpiece.
00:25:33.777 --> 00:25:35.779
Talented, a masterpiece. and when you request your copy,
00:25:35.846 --> 00:25:37.915
And when you request your copy, we also want to send you
00:25:37.982 --> 00:25:39.249
We also want to send you the exclusive
00:25:39.316 --> 00:25:40.284
The exclusive made by god t-shirt
00:25:40.351 --> 00:25:41.819
Made by god t-shirt from our friends at copper fit.
00:25:41.885 --> 00:25:43.687
From our friends at copper fit. a daily reminder
00:25:43.754 --> 00:25:44.888
You can wear
00:25:44.989 --> 00:25:45.756
As a declaration of who you are
00:25:45.856 --> 00:25:47.658
As a declaration of who you are and whose you are.
00:25:47.725 --> 00:25:49.293
And whose you are. set down what was never yours
00:25:49.360 --> 00:25:51.228
Set down what was never yours to carry.
00:25:51.295 --> 00:25:51.929
To carry. request your copy today.
00:25:51.996 --> 00:25:54.331
Request your copy today. you are not your past.
00:25:54.398 --> 00:25:55.933
You are not labels
00:25:56.033 --> 00:25:57.167
Life has put on you.
00:25:57.267 --> 00:25:58.636
Life has put on you. you are made by god
00:25:58.702 --> 00:26:00.304
You are made by god on purpose, for a purpose,
00:26:00.371 --> 00:26:02.506
On purpose, for a purpose, and nothing
00:26:02.573 --> 00:26:03.173
And nothing can change your value.
00:26:03.240 --> 00:26:05.009
Can change your value. victoria and i pray for
00:26:05.075 --> 00:26:06.210
Victoria and i pray for you and your family every day
00:26:06.276 --> 00:26:07.945
You and your family every day believing
00:26:08.012 --> 00:26:08.345
Believing you're going to have
00:26:08.412 --> 00:26:08.946
A blessed summer.
00:26:09.046 --> 00:26:10.247
Thank you so much
00:26:10.347 --> 00:26:11.148
Thank you so much for your prayer and support.
00:26:11.215 --> 00:26:13.117
For your prayer and support. your generosity
00:26:13.183 --> 00:26:14.251
Your generosity helps us
00:26:14.318 --> 00:26:14.852
Helps us take this message of hope
00:26:14.918 --> 00:26:16.253
Take this message of hope to people around the world.
00:26:16.320 --> 00:26:18.055
To people around the world. a special
00:26:18.122 --> 00:26:18.589
A special thank you to our champion
00:26:18.656 --> 00:26:19.690
Thank you to our champion of hope partners
00:26:19.757 --> 00:26:20.624
Of hope partners for all you do
00:26:20.691 --> 00:26:21.525
For all you do to make the ministry possible.
00:26:21.625 --> 00:26:23.694
To make the ministry possible. until we meet again,
00:26:23.761 --> 00:26:24.795
Until we meet again, may the lord bless
00:26:24.862 --> 00:26:25.729
May the lord bless you and keep you.
00:26:25.796 --> 00:26:27.498
Be sure to request
00:26:27.598 --> 00:26:28.565
Your copy of made by god
00:26:28.666 --> 00:26:30.534
Your copy of made by god plus your exclusive copper fit
00:26:30.634 --> 00:26:32.703
Plus your exclusive copper fit made by god tee, available
00:26:32.770 --> 00:26:34.772
Made by god tee, available this month by
00:26:34.838 --> 00:26:35.739
This month by visiting us at joelosteen.com
00:26:35.806 --> 00:26:38.175
Or call 888-567-joel.
00:26:38.275 --> 00:26:40.544
With an additional gift,
00:26:40.644 --> 00:26:43.213
With an additional gift, you can also receive
00:26:43.280 --> 00:26:44.381
You can also receive the complete
00:26:44.448 --> 00:26:45.182
The complete made by god designed
00:26:45.249 --> 00:26:46.550
Made by god designed with purpose collection
00:26:46.617 --> 00:26:47.985
With purpose collection featuring the made by god tee,
00:26:48.085 --> 00:26:50.087
Featuring the made by god tee, the designed with purpose hat,
00:26:50.187 --> 00:26:51.889
The designed with purpose hat, and the made by god tote.
00:26:51.955 --> 00:26:53.891
And the made by god tote. each piece
00:26:53.957 --> 00:26:54.725
Each piece is more than something
00:26:54.792 --> 00:26:55.793
You wear or carry.
00:26:55.893 --> 00:26:57.194
It is a declaration,
00:26:57.294 --> 00:26:58.696
It is a declaration, a statement of faith,
00:26:58.762 --> 00:27:00.297
A statement of faith, a daily reminder
00:27:00.364 --> 00:27:01.532
A daily reminder that your life is not random.
00:27:01.598 --> 00:27:03.834
That your life is not random. god has a plan for you.
00:27:03.901 --> 00:27:05.669
God has a plan for you. wherever your day takes you,
00:27:05.736 --> 00:27:07.404
Wherever your day takes you, you will carry a message
00:27:07.471 --> 00:27:08.872
You will carry a message that speaks life
00:27:08.939 --> 00:27:10.074
That speaks life not only over yourself,
00:27:10.140 --> 00:27:11.709
Not only over yourself, but to everyone around you.
00:27:11.775 --> 00:27:13.711
You can request
00:27:13.811 --> 00:27:14.578
These inspiring resources
00:27:14.678 --> 00:27:16.180
These inspiring resources by calling 888-567-joel
00:27:16.246 --> 00:27:19.416
Or logging on to joelosteen.com
00:27:19.583 --> 00:27:22.019
Or logging on to joelosteen.com today.
00:27:22.086 --> 00:27:22.886
Today. call or click anytime,
00:27:22.953 --> 00:27:24.555
Call or click anytime, 24 hours a day.
00:27:24.621 --> 00:27:27.491

Joel Osteen - Breaking Control

July 13, 2026 | 27:29

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