Is healing possible after abuse? Join Joyce and friends for a powerful conversation with survivor Sandee Jo Crocker—her story offers real hope and strength.
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Joyce Meyer: Enjoying Everyday Life | Joyce Meyer - Escaping the Horrors of Domestic Violence (Part 1) | October 22, 2025
- >> sandee jo: i just
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- >> sandee jo: i just remember thinking,
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- >> sandee jo: i just remember thinking, "i'm gonna die.
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- Remember thinking, "i'm gonna die. this is the day when
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- "i'm gonna die. this is the day when it's all going to end."
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- This is the day when it's all going to end." and he walked out.
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- It's all going to end." and he walked out. i think he went outside,
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- And he walked out. i think he went outside, and i went over
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- I think he went outside, and i went over and tried to call 911.
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- And i went over and tried to call 911. and immediately,
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- And tried to call 911. and immediately, the call got disconnected,
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- And immediately, the call got disconnected, and i just knew.
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- The call got disconnected, and i just knew. and he told me.
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- And i just knew. and he told me. he's like,
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- And he told me. he's like, "you make them go away."
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- >> joyce: i'm joyce meyer,
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- >> joyce: i'm joyce meyer, and i believe that god can heal
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- >> joyce: i'm joyce meyer, and i believe that god can heal you everywhere you hurt.
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- >> ginger: hi everyone, welcome.
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- >> ginger: hi everyone, welcome. today we have a very important
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- >> ginger: hi everyone, welcome. today we have a very important discussion for you.
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- Today we have a very important discussion for you. imagine getting home from
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- Discussion for you. imagine getting home from your honeymoon, newly married,
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- Imagine getting home from your honeymoon, newly married, to discover that the man
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- Your honeymoon, newly married, to discover that the man you just tied your
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- To discover that the man you just tied your whole life to is not
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- Who you thought he was.
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- Who you thought he was. that was the reality
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- Who you thought he was. that was the reality for sandee joe crocker.
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- That was the reality for sandee joe crocker. but things only got
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- For sandee joe crocker. but things only got worse over the years.
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- But things only got worse over the years. in today's talk it out podcast,
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- Worse over the years. in today's talk it out podcast, sandee jo joins joyce, and erin,
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- In today's talk it out podcast, sandee jo joins joyce, and erin, and me, to talk about her
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- Sandee jo joins joyce, and erin, and me, to talk about her experience with domestic
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- And me, to talk about her experience with domestic violence and how god
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- Experience with domestic violence and how god can get you through
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- Violence and how god can get you through the darkest of times.
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- >> ginger: hey friends,
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- >> ginger: hey friends, welcome to joyce meyer's
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- >> ginger: hey friends, welcome to joyce meyer's talk it out podcast,
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- Welcome to joyce meyer's talk it out podcast, where we love to talk
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- Talk it out podcast, where we love to talk all about the love of god
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- Where we love to talk all about the love of god and the way living
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- All about the love of god and the way living with him makes such
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- And the way living with him makes such a difference in our lives.
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- With him makes such a difference in our lives. and today,
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- A difference in our lives. and today, we have joyce with us,
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- And today, we have joyce with us, of course, and erin,
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- We have joyce with us, of course, and erin, and a special guest
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- Of course, and erin, and a special guest who's going to talk
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- And a special guest who's going to talk about some difficult things.
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- So, we just wanna warn you,
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- So, we just wanna warn you, before you have little ears
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- So, we just wanna warn you, before you have little ears listening to this episode,
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- Before you have little ears listening to this episode, you might want to listen
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- Listening to this episode, you might want to listen to it yourself first,
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- You might want to listen to it yourself first, because we're talking about
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- To it yourself first, because we're talking about something that's so important,
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- Because we're talking about something that's so important, affects so many people,
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- Something that's so important, affects so many people, domestic violence.
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- Affects so many people, domestic violence. and we're going to talk
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- Domestic violence. and we're going to talk about it in a very real way
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- And we're going to talk about it in a very real way with a real situation and also
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- About it in a very real way with a real situation and also a real god who is big enough
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- With a real situation and also a real god who is big enough to handle even these problems.
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- A real god who is big enough to handle even these problems. so, come on in,
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- To handle even these problems. so, come on in, be a part of this very,
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- So, come on in, be a part of this very, very important conversation.
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- Be a part of this very, very important conversation. and we want to welcome
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- Very important conversation. and we want to welcome our lovely guest.
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- And we want to welcome our lovely guest. we're just so glad you're here.
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- Our lovely guest. we're just so glad you're here. this is sandee jo crocker.
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- We're just so glad you're here. this is sandee jo crocker. and sandee jo is one
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- This is sandee jo crocker. and sandee jo is one of those people who is brave
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- And sandee jo is one of those people who is brave enough to share some very
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- Of those people who is brave enough to share some very difficult things in her life
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- And to share it in a way that
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- And to share it in a way that is helping so many people
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- And to share it in a way that is helping so many people around the world to know
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- Is helping so many people around the world to know "i'm not alone in this."
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- Around the world to know "i'm not alone in this." "there are answers," that
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- "i'm not alone in this." "there are answers," that "god is there in the midst
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- "there are answers," that "god is there in the midst of the most terrible things."
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- "god is there in the midst of the most terrible things." and so, we're just really
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- Of the most terrible things." and so, we're just really glad that you're here.
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- And so, we're just really glad that you're here. it's an honor to have
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- Glad that you're here. it's an honor to have you here with us.
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- Thank you.
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- Thank you. >> sandee jo: thank you,
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- Thank you. >> sandee jo: thank you, ginger, for having me,
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- >> sandee jo: thank you, ginger, for having me, and i feel so honored
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- Ginger, for having me, and i feel so honored to be here,
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- And i feel so honored to be here, sitting with you ladies,
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- And especially, joyce and erin.
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- And especially, joyce and erin. just it's great to be here
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- And especially, joyce and erin. just it's great to be here to share my story.
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- Just it's great to be here to share my story. >> ginger: well, with what
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- To share my story. >> ginger: well, with what you went through,
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- >> ginger: well, with what you went through, and we're gonna dig
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- You went through, and we're gonna dig into your story deeper,
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- And we're gonna dig into your story deeper, but just to give everybody
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- Into your story deeper, but just to give everybody an idea of what we're
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- But just to give everybody an idea of what we're talking about today.
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- An idea of what we're talking about today. you and your family faced very,
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- Talking about today. you and your family faced very, very difficult,
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- You and your family faced very, very difficult, extreme domestic
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- Very difficult, extreme domestic violence in your home.
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- Extreme domestic violence in your home. you were married,
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- Violence in your home. you were married, and within a week,
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- You were married, and within a week, the violence started.
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- And within a week, the violence started. and before that time,
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- The violence started. and before that time, you had no idea, did you?
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- And before that time, you had no idea, did you? >> sandee jo: none whatsoever.
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- You had no idea, did you? >> sandee jo: none whatsoever. we dated for two years,
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- >> sandee jo: none whatsoever. we dated for two years, and he was wonderful to me.
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- We dated for two years, and he was wonderful to me. we did have--
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- And he was wonderful to me. we did have-- it was kind of a long-distance
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- We did have-- it was kind of a long-distance dating relationship,
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- It was kind of a long-distance dating relationship, so he was about
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- Dating relationship, so he was about an hour and a half away from me.
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- So he was about an hour and a half away from me. but the moments that
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- An hour and a half away from me. but the moments that we were together,
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- But the moments that we were together, he was a wonderful person,
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- We were together, he was a wonderful person, never did anything that would
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- He was a wonderful person, never did anything that would make me think that he had any
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- Never did anything that would make me think that he had any violent tendencies whatsoever.
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- Make me think that he had any violent tendencies whatsoever. >> joyce: and everybody
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- Violent tendencies whatsoever. >> joyce: and everybody outside your marriage
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- >> joyce: and everybody outside your marriage thought he was just wonderful.
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- Outside your marriage thought he was just wonderful. >> sandee jo: absolutely.
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- Thought he was just wonderful. >> sandee jo: absolutely. my family loved him.
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- >> sandee jo: absolutely. my family loved him. >> joyce: because he could
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- My family loved him. >> joyce: because he could turn it on and turn it off.
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- >> joyce: because he could turn it on and turn it off. >> sandee jo: yes.
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- Turn it on and turn it off. >> sandee jo: yes. >> ginger: and then after
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- >> sandee jo: yes. >> ginger: and then after many years of marriage,
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- >> ginger: and then after many years of marriage, four children?
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- Many years of marriage, four children? >> sandee jo: four children,
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- Four children? >> sandee jo: four children, 18 1/2 years later.
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- >> sandee jo: four children, 18 1/2 years later. >> ginger: wow.
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- 18 1/2 years later. >> ginger: wow. and then it all came
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- >> ginger: wow. and then it all came to a head on a very,
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- And then it all came to a head on a very, very violent day.
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- To a head on a very, very violent day. >> sandee jo: yes.
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- Very violent day. >> sandee jo: yes. yes.
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- >> sandee jo: yes. yes. and that's when our son,
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- Yes. and that's when our son, who was 17 years old,
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- And that's when our son, who was 17 years old, at the time,
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- Who was 17 years old, at the time, shot and killed
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- At the time, shot and killed his dad to protect
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- Shot and killed his dad to protect himself and our family.
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- His dad to protect himself and our family. and that day our lives
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- Himself and our family. and that day our lives changed forever.
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- And that day our lives changed forever. it really did.
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- Changed forever. it really did. it was--
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- It really did. it was-- you know, i had, at that point,
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- It was-- you know, i had, at that point, i had just accepted
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- You know, i had, at that point, i had just accepted that this was my life.
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- I had just accepted that this was my life. i couldn't leave.
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- That this was my life. i couldn't leave. he always told me
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- I couldn't leave. he always told me he would find me,
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- He always told me he would find me, and he would kill
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- He would find me, and he would kill me if i ever tried to leave.
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- And he would kill me if i ever tried to leave. >> joyce: and a lot of men do.
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- Me if i ever tried to leave. >> joyce: and a lot of men do. >> ginger: yeah.
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- >> joyce: and a lot of men do. >> ginger: yeah. yeah.
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- >> ginger: yeah. yeah. you had reason to believe...
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- Yeah. you had reason to believe... >> sandee jo: absolutely.
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- You had reason to believe... >> sandee jo: absolutely. >> ginger: he meant it.
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- >> sandee jo: absolutely. >> ginger: he meant it. >> sandee jo: i knew what
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- >> ginger: he meant it. >> sandee jo: i knew what he was capable of.
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- >> sandee jo: i knew what he was capable of. >> ginger: yeah.
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- He was capable of. >> ginger: yeah. >> sandee jo: so, i stayed.
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- >> ginger: yeah. >> sandee jo: so, i stayed. i stayed--
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- >> sandee jo: so, i stayed. i stayed-- >> joyce: but now god's
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- I stayed-- >> joyce: but now god's given her a great new
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- >> joyce: but now god's given her a great new husband and great new life.
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- Given her a great new husband and great new life. and he is our redeemer,
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- Husband and great new life. and he is our redeemer, our restorer.
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- And he is our redeemer, our restorer. and now,
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- Our restorer. and now, she can use what satan meant
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- And now, she can use what satan meant for harm and use it for good.
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- She can use what satan meant for harm and use it for good. >> ginger: that's right.
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- For harm and use it for good. >> ginger: that's right. and what we really wanna
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- >> ginger: that's right. and what we really wanna do today is just to give women
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- And what we really wanna do today is just to give women hope and to empower them
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- Do today is just to give women hope and to empower them to know that there are answers
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- Hope and to empower them to know that there are answers and that there's a god who
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- To know that there are answers and that there's a god who loves them so much when
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- And that there's a god who loves them so much when they feel so very hurt
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- Loves them so much when they feel so very hurt and alone and isolated.
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- They feel so very hurt and alone and isolated. so, we're gonna start with
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- And alone and isolated. so, we're gonna start with god's word because that's what
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- So, we're gonna start with god's word because that's what helps us through everything
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- God's word because that's what helps us through everything that we have to go through.
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- Helps us through everything that we have to go through. so, we're gonna start with
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- That we have to go through. so, we're gonna start with joyce and then we'll come
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- So, we're gonna start with joyce and then we'll come back and we'll talk more
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- Joyce and then we'll come back and we'll talk more with sandee jo.
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- >> joyce: "god, your god,
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- >> joyce: "god, your god, will restore everything
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- >> joyce: "god, your god, will restore everything you lost; he'll have
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- Will restore everything you lost; he'll have compassion on you; he'll come
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- You lost; he'll have compassion on you; he'll come back and pick up the pieces
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- Compassion on you; he'll come back and pick up the pieces from all the places you were
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- Back and pick up the pieces from all the places you were scattered.
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- From all the places you were scattered. no matter how far away you end
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- Scattered. no matter how far away you end up, god, your god, will get you
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- No matter how far away you end up, god, your god, will get you out of there and bring you back
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- Up, god, your god, will get you out of there and bring you back to the land that your ancestors
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- Out of there and bring you back to the land that your ancestors once possessed.
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- To the land that your ancestors once possessed. it will be yours again.
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- Once possessed. it will be yours again. he will give you a good life
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- It will be yours again. he will give you a good life and make you more numerous than
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- He will give you a good life and make you more numerous than your ancestors were."
- 00:05:11.267 --> 00:05:12.769
- And make you more numerous than your ancestors were." there's a couple of parts
- 00:05:12.835 --> 00:05:13.970
- Your ancestors were." there's a couple of parts of this i really like.
- 00:05:14.036 --> 00:05:15.872
- There's a couple of parts of this i really like. "god, your god, will restore
- 00:05:15.938 --> 00:05:16.639
- Of this i really like. "god, your god, will restore everything that you have lost."
- 00:05:16.706 --> 00:05:20.610
- "god, your god, will restore everything that you have lost." everything is everything.
- 00:05:20.676 --> 00:05:23.780
- Everything that you have lost." everything is everything. it's not everything except
- 00:05:23.846 --> 00:05:24.580
- Everything is everything. it's not everything except your thing.
- 00:05:24.647 --> 00:05:26.315
- It's not everything except your thing. >> [audience laughing]
- 00:05:26.382 --> 00:05:28.418
- Your thing. >> [audience laughing] >> joyce: and he'll come back,
- 00:05:28.484 --> 00:05:29.819
- >> [audience laughing] >> joyce: and he'll come back, no matter how far away you are.
- 00:05:29.886 --> 00:05:32.655
- >> joyce: and he'll come back, no matter how far away you are. he will come back and he'll find
- 00:05:32.722 --> 00:05:35.391
- No matter how far away you are. he will come back and he'll find you and he'll collect you
- 00:05:35.458 --> 00:05:37.660
- He will come back and he'll find you and he'll collect you and he'll bring you back to his
- 00:05:37.727 --> 00:05:38.928
- You and he'll collect you and he'll bring you back to his heart and he'll restore
- 00:05:38.995 --> 00:05:40.163
- And he'll bring you back to his heart and he'll restore everything in your life that
- 00:05:40.229 --> 00:05:41.731
- Heart and he'll restore everything in your life that has been broken.
- 00:05:41.798 --> 00:05:42.732
- Everything in your life that has been broken. >> [audience applauding]
- 00:05:42.799 --> 00:05:48.671
- >> joyce: the bible says that
- 00:05:50.473 --> 00:05:51.674
- >> joyce: the bible says that god gives us beauty for ashes,
- 00:05:51.741 --> 00:05:52.809
- >> joyce: the bible says that god gives us beauty for ashes, that he heals the brokenhearted.
- 00:05:52.875 --> 00:05:55.678
- Maybe there's somebody here
- 00:05:55.745 --> 00:05:56.979
- Maybe there's somebody here tonight that you need
- 00:05:57.046 --> 00:05:57.780
- Maybe there's somebody here tonight that you need restoration from a broken heart.
- 00:05:57.847 --> 00:06:01.417
- Tonight that you need restoration from a broken heart. somebody's hurt you, wounded
- 00:06:01.484 --> 00:06:02.318
- Restoration from a broken heart. somebody's hurt you, wounded you, a broken relationship,
- 00:06:02.385 --> 00:06:05.688
- Somebody's hurt you, wounded you, a broken relationship, somebody did something to you
- 00:06:05.755 --> 00:06:06.889
- You, a broken relationship, somebody did something to you that you would have never ever,
- 00:06:06.956 --> 00:06:08.024
- Somebody did something to you that you would have never ever, ever believed that that person
- 00:06:08.090 --> 00:06:10.092
- That you would have never ever, ever believed that that person would have done to you.
- 00:06:10.159 --> 00:06:11.961
- Ever believed that that person would have done to you. and right now, you feel like you
- 00:06:12.028 --> 00:06:13.029
- Would have done to you. and right now, you feel like you could never trust anybody again.
- 00:06:13.095 --> 00:06:15.031
- And right now, you feel like you could never trust anybody again. let me tell you something,
- 00:06:15.097 --> 00:06:16.165
- Could never trust anybody again. let me tell you something, don't ever let what one or two
- 00:06:16.232 --> 00:06:17.567
- Let me tell you something, don't ever let what one or two or three or four or five
- 00:06:17.633 --> 00:06:18.701
- Don't ever let what one or two or three or four or five mean people do to you get you
- 00:06:18.768 --> 00:06:23.639
- Or three or four or five mean people do to you get you into an area where you distrust
- 00:06:23.706 --> 00:06:25.675
- Mean people do to you get you into an area where you distrust every person out there.
- 00:06:25.741 --> 00:06:27.743
- Into an area where you distrust every person out there. it's miserable for you
- 00:06:27.810 --> 00:06:28.711
- Every person out there. it's miserable for you and it's not fair to them.
- 00:06:28.778 --> 00:06:30.580
- It's miserable for you and it's not fair to them. >> [audience applauding]
- 00:06:30.646 --> 00:06:35.551
- And it's not fair to them. >> [audience applauding] >> joyce: isaiah 61:7.
- 00:06:35.618 --> 00:06:38.688
- >> [audience applauding] >> joyce: isaiah 61:7. boy, when i was going through
- 00:06:38.754 --> 00:06:39.622
- >> joyce: isaiah 61:7. boy, when i was going through the healing process with god for
- 00:06:39.689 --> 00:06:41.824
- Boy, when i was going through the healing process with god for my sexual abuse from my father,
- 00:06:41.891 --> 00:06:44.794
- The healing process with god for my sexual abuse from my father, i hung on to this scripture.
- 00:06:44.861 --> 00:06:46.596
- Man, i hung on to this.
- 00:06:47.330 --> 00:06:48.130
- Man, i hung on to this. this was one of my favorite
- 00:06:48.197 --> 00:06:48.998
- Man, i hung on to this. this was one of my favorite go-to scriptures when i felt
- 00:06:49.065 --> 00:06:51.033
- This was one of my favorite go-to scriptures when i felt like i couldn't make it
- 00:06:51.100 --> 00:06:51.868
- Go-to scriptures when i felt like i couldn't make it one more day.
- 00:06:51.934 --> 00:06:53.803
- Like i couldn't make it one more day. isaiah 61:7: "instead of your
- 00:06:53.870 --> 00:06:55.238
- One more day. isaiah 61:7: "instead of your [former] shame you will have
- 00:06:55.304 --> 00:06:57.306
- Isaiah 61:7: "instead of your [former] shame you will have a double portion; and instead
- 00:06:57.373 --> 00:06:59.809
- [former] shame you will have a double portion; and instead of humiliation your people
- 00:06:59.876 --> 00:07:01.277
- A double portion; and instead of humiliation your people will shout for joy over
- 00:07:01.344 --> 00:07:04.146
- Of humiliation your people will shout for joy over their portion.
- 00:07:04.213 --> 00:07:05.248
- Will shout for joy over their portion. therefore in their land they
- 00:07:05.314 --> 00:07:06.516
- Their portion. therefore in their land they will possess double [what they
- 00:07:06.582 --> 00:07:08.384
- Therefore in their land they will possess double [what they forfeited]; and everlasting joy
- 00:07:08.451 --> 00:07:10.887
- Will possess double [what they forfeited]; and everlasting joy will be theirs."
- 00:07:10.953 --> 00:07:13.756
- Forfeited]; and everlasting joy will be theirs." i call it when you hang out with
- 00:07:13.823 --> 00:07:15.424
- God you get double for your
- 00:07:15.491 --> 00:07:16.559
- God you get double for your trouble, amen?
- 00:07:16.626 --> 00:07:18.628
- God you get double for your trouble, amen? >> [audience applauding]
- 00:07:18.694 --> 00:07:22.198
- Trouble, amen? >> [audience applauding] >> joyce: so i remember
- 00:07:22.265 --> 00:07:23.132
- >> [audience applauding] >> joyce: so i remember the shame.
- 00:07:23.199 --> 00:07:25.201
- >> joyce: so i remember the shame. [swallowing]
- 00:07:25.268 --> 00:07:27.270
- The shame. [swallowing] i remember the humiliation,
- 00:07:27.336 --> 00:07:28.838
- [swallowing] i remember the humiliation, the hiding, the feeling like
- 00:07:28.905 --> 00:07:31.607
- I remember the humiliation, the hiding, the feeling like i was always so different
- 00:07:31.674 --> 00:07:34.110
- The hiding, the feeling like i was always so different than everybody else.
- 00:07:34.176 --> 00:07:36.812
- I was always so different than everybody else. but you know what?
- 00:07:36.879 --> 00:07:37.513
- Than everybody else. but you know what? those things now,
- 00:07:37.580 --> 00:07:39.081
- But you know what? those things now, i have to really try
- 00:07:39.148 --> 00:07:39.982
- Those things now, i have to really try to go back and remember
- 00:07:40.049 --> 00:07:40.783
- I have to really try to go back and remember them because god has
- 00:07:40.850 --> 00:07:41.751
- To go back and remember them because god has given me such an amazing life
- 00:07:41.817 --> 00:07:43.553
- Them because god has given me such an amazing life and such an amazing opportunity
- 00:07:43.619 --> 00:07:45.621
- Given me such an amazing life and such an amazing opportunity to help so many people and so
- 00:07:45.688 --> 00:07:47.924
- And such an amazing opportunity to help so many people and so the devil thought he was winning
- 00:07:47.990 --> 00:07:49.191
- To help so many people and so the devil thought he was winning but actually he gave me
- 00:07:49.258 --> 00:07:50.726
- The devil thought he was winning but actually he gave me equipment to go around the world
- 00:07:50.793 --> 00:07:52.094
- But actually he gave me equipment to go around the world and help everybody else.
- 00:07:52.161 --> 00:07:53.262
- Equipment to go around the world and help everybody else. >> [audience applauding]
- 00:07:53.329 --> 00:07:54.497
- >> ginger: i love that.
- 00:07:55.531 --> 00:07:56.265
- >> ginger: i love that. the devil thought
- 00:07:56.332 --> 00:07:56.899
- >> ginger: i love that. the devil thought he was winning.
- 00:07:56.966 --> 00:07:57.633
- The devil thought he was winning. and what a great scripture
- 00:07:57.700 --> 00:07:59.035
- He was winning. and what a great scripture that you began with, joyce.
- 00:07:59.101 --> 00:08:00.236
- And what a great scripture that you began with, joyce. deuteronomy 30:3-5
- 00:08:00.303 --> 00:08:03.039
- That you began with, joyce. deuteronomy 30:3-5 "god, your god, will restore
- 00:08:03.105 --> 00:08:04.440
- Deuteronomy 30:3-5 "god, your god, will restore everything you lost.
- 00:08:04.507 --> 00:08:05.408
- "god, your god, will restore everything you lost. he'll have compassion on you.
- 00:08:05.474 --> 00:08:06.642
- Everything you lost. he'll have compassion on you. he'll come back and pick up
- 00:08:06.709 --> 00:08:07.977
- He'll have compassion on you. he'll come back and pick up the pieces from all the places
- 00:08:08.044 --> 00:08:09.445
- He'll come back and pick up the pieces from all the places where you were scattered."
- 00:08:09.512 --> 00:08:10.313
- The pieces from all the places where you were scattered." just so many
- 00:08:10.379 --> 00:08:11.881
- Wonderful promises.
- 00:08:11.948 --> 00:08:13.182
- Wonderful promises. >> joyce: i love that.
- 00:08:13.249 --> 00:08:14.417
- Wonderful promises. >> joyce: i love that. >> ginger: when you're
- 00:08:14.483 --> 00:08:15.051
- >> joyce: i love that. >> ginger: when you're in that situation,
- 00:08:15.117 --> 00:08:16.352
- >> ginger: when you're in that situation, however, sandee jo,
- 00:08:16.419 --> 00:08:17.553
- In that situation, however, sandee jo, you have to wonder
- 00:08:17.620 --> 00:08:19.221
- However, sandee jo, you have to wonder "when, how is this
- 00:08:19.288 --> 00:08:21.123
- You have to wonder "when, how is this going to happen?"
- 00:08:21.190 --> 00:08:23.793
- "when, how is this going to happen?" tell us a little bit about how
- 00:08:23.859 --> 00:08:26.629
- Going to happen?" tell us a little bit about how things progressed for you,
- 00:08:26.696 --> 00:08:28.197
- Tell us a little bit about how things progressed for you, how you found yourself
- 00:08:28.264 --> 00:08:30.333
- Things progressed for you, how you found yourself in a situation that you
- 00:08:30.399 --> 00:08:31.300
- How you found yourself in a situation that you never imagined you'd be in.
- 00:08:31.367 --> 00:08:33.436
- In a situation that you never imagined you'd be in. >> sandee jo: well, i married
- 00:08:33.502 --> 00:08:34.670
- Never imagined you'd be in. >> sandee jo: well, i married when i was 18,
- 00:08:34.737 --> 00:08:35.471
- >> sandee jo: well, i married when i was 18, so very young.
- 00:08:35.538 --> 00:08:37.673
- When i was 18, so very young. and then, when we returned
- 00:08:37.740 --> 00:08:39.275
- So very young. and then, when we returned home from our honeymoon,
- 00:08:39.342 --> 00:08:40.643
- And then, when we returned home from our honeymoon, that was the first day that
- 00:08:40.710 --> 00:08:41.510
- Home from our honeymoon, that was the first day that he put his hands on me.
- 00:08:41.577 --> 00:08:43.012
- That was the first day that he put his hands on me. and i just remember thinking,
- 00:08:43.079 --> 00:08:44.280
- He put his hands on me. and i just remember thinking, when he apologized,
- 00:08:44.347 --> 00:08:45.781
- And i just remember thinking, when he apologized, "okay," i forgave him.
- 00:08:45.848 --> 00:08:47.049
- When he apologized, "okay," i forgave him. i had never seen
- 00:08:47.116 --> 00:08:47.984
- "okay," i forgave him. i had never seen the side of him.
- 00:08:48.050 --> 00:08:48.651
- I had never seen the side of him. and so, i just thought,
- 00:08:48.718 --> 00:08:49.385
- The side of him. and so, i just thought, "okay, something happened,"
- 00:08:49.452 --> 00:08:50.686
- And so, i just thought, "okay, something happened," maybe he was stressed.
- 00:08:50.753 --> 00:08:52.254
- "okay, something happened," maybe he was stressed. but, you know, it just--
- 00:08:52.321 --> 00:08:53.823
- Maybe he was stressed. but, you know, it just-- from that point on, the years--
- 00:08:53.889 --> 00:08:57.193
- But, you know, it just-- from that point on, the years-- he--it just escalated.
- 00:08:57.259 --> 00:08:58.761
- From that point on, the years-- he--it just escalated. so, from then,
- 00:08:58.828 --> 00:09:00.196
- He--it just escalated. so, from then, it wasn't just him shoving me,
- 00:09:00.262 --> 00:09:01.530
- So, from then, it wasn't just him shoving me, now it's him choking me,
- 00:09:01.597 --> 00:09:03.165
- It wasn't just him shoving me, now it's him choking me, or throwing me into a wall,
- 00:09:03.232 --> 00:09:04.900
- Now it's him choking me, or throwing me into a wall, or taking me by my hair
- 00:09:04.967 --> 00:09:06.402
- Or throwing me into a wall, or taking me by my hair and slamming me against objects,
- 00:09:06.469 --> 00:09:08.170
- Or taking me by my hair and slamming me against objects, and then guns and knives,
- 00:09:08.237 --> 00:09:10.973
- And slamming me against objects, and then guns and knives, and speeding vehicles,
- 00:09:11.040 --> 00:09:12.408
- And then guns and knives, and speeding vehicles, and just anything that he could
- 00:09:12.475 --> 00:09:15.311
- And speeding vehicles, and just anything that he could use to maintain the control.
- 00:09:15.378 --> 00:09:16.545
- And just anything that he could use to maintain the control. and he--and he did.
- 00:09:16.612 --> 00:09:19.649
- Use to maintain the control. and he--and he did. he maintained that control
- 00:09:19.715 --> 00:09:20.516
- And he--and he did. he maintained that control for years because i was
- 00:09:20.583 --> 00:09:21.717
- He maintained that control for years because i was literally afraid of him.
- 00:09:21.784 --> 00:09:22.685
- For years because i was literally afraid of him. >> joyce: did you have
- 00:09:22.752 --> 00:09:23.619
- Literally afraid of him. >> joyce: did you have to do anything to anger him,
- 00:09:23.686 --> 00:09:25.388
- >> joyce: did you have to do anything to anger him, or did--what set him off?
- 00:09:25.454 --> 00:09:27.490
- To do anything to anger him, or did--what set him off? >> sandee jo: it could
- 00:09:27.556 --> 00:09:28.658
- Or did--what set him off? >> sandee jo: it could be anything.
- 00:09:28.724 --> 00:09:29.191
- >> sandee jo: it could be anything. it could be the baby crying.
- 00:09:29.258 --> 00:09:30.526
- Be anything. it could be the baby crying. it could be we made a wrong
- 00:09:30.593 --> 00:09:32.728
- It could be the baby crying. it could be we made a wrong turn when we were on a way
- 00:09:32.795 --> 00:09:33.963
- It could be we made a wrong turn when we were on a way to go somewhere.
- 00:09:34.030 --> 00:09:34.897
- Turn when we were on a way to go somewhere. just anything, what would seem
- 00:09:34.964 --> 00:09:37.500
- To go somewhere. just anything, what would seem simple to you and i, was huge.
- 00:09:37.566 --> 00:09:40.136
- Just anything, what would seem simple to you and i, was huge. and that's--
- 00:09:40.202 --> 00:09:41.003
- Simple to you and i, was huge. and that's-- and then just like that,
- 00:09:41.070 --> 00:09:42.271
- And that's-- and then just like that, he would change.
- 00:09:42.338 --> 00:09:42.905
- And then just like that, he would change. but yeah, i would fight
- 00:09:42.972 --> 00:09:45.041
- He would change. but yeah, i would fight back in the beginning,
- 00:09:45.107 --> 00:09:46.709
- But yeah, i would fight back in the beginning, which i was embarrassed of.
- 00:09:46.776 --> 00:09:47.977
- Back in the beginning, which i was embarrassed of. i was embarrassed to think,
- 00:09:48.044 --> 00:09:48.978
- Which i was embarrassed of. i was embarrassed to think, "this is what's going
- 00:09:49.045 --> 00:09:49.712
- I was embarrassed to think, "this is what's going on behind closed doors,"
- 00:09:49.779 --> 00:09:50.813
- "this is what's going on behind closed doors," but i would protect myself
- 00:09:50.880 --> 00:09:52.548
- On behind closed doors," but i would protect myself and i would fight back.
- 00:09:52.615 --> 00:09:53.716
- But i would protect myself and i would fight back. but what changed was
- 00:09:53.783 --> 00:09:54.617
- And i would fight back. but what changed was when i became pregnant
- 00:09:54.684 --> 00:09:55.451
- But what changed was when i became pregnant with our first child and then
- 00:09:55.518 --> 00:09:58.020
- When i became pregnant with our first child and then i was no longer fighting back,
- 00:09:58.087 --> 00:09:59.622
- With our first child and then i was no longer fighting back, but i was trying
- 00:09:59.689 --> 00:10:00.489
- I was no longer fighting back, but i was trying to protect my baby.
- 00:10:00.556 --> 00:10:01.657
- But i was trying to protect my baby. and then there was baby number
- 00:10:01.724 --> 00:10:03.759
- To protect my baby. and then there was baby number two, and then there was baby
- 00:10:03.826 --> 00:10:04.927
- And then there was baby number two, and then there was baby number three, and then four.
- 00:10:04.994 --> 00:10:05.761
- Two, and then there was baby number three, and then four. and so now i'm just,
- 00:10:05.828 --> 00:10:07.129
- Number three, and then four. and so now i'm just, i'm feeling trapped.
- 00:10:07.196 --> 00:10:08.097
- And so now i'm just, i'm feeling trapped. whereas, at one point i thought,
- 00:10:08.164 --> 00:10:09.865
- I'm feeling trapped. whereas, at one point i thought, "well, if he does it again,
- 00:10:09.932 --> 00:10:10.766
- Whereas, at one point i thought, "well, if he does it again, i'll just leave."
- 00:10:10.833 --> 00:10:11.233
- "well, if he does it again, i'll just leave." even though i wanted to break
- 00:10:11.300 --> 00:10:12.468
- I'll just leave." even though i wanted to break the cycle of the divorce
- 00:10:12.535 --> 00:10:15.104
- Even though i wanted to break the cycle of the divorce rate in my family,
- 00:10:15.171 --> 00:10:16.305
- The cycle of the divorce rate in my family, in my extended family.
- 00:10:16.372 --> 00:10:17.273
- Rate in my family, in my extended family. so, i stayed in those
- 00:10:17.339 --> 00:10:19.175
- In my extended family. so, i stayed in those early years.
- 00:10:19.241 --> 00:10:19.909
- So, i stayed in those early years. but then i felt trapped
- 00:10:19.975 --> 00:10:21.377
- Early years. but then i felt trapped after i had so many kids.
- 00:10:21.444 --> 00:10:23.079
- But then i felt trapped after i had so many kids. i was like, "okay,
- 00:10:23.145 --> 00:10:23.646
- After i had so many kids. i was like, "okay, i really can't leave."
- 00:10:23.713 --> 00:10:24.413
- I was like, "okay, i really can't leave." and he told me, "you'll never
- 00:10:24.480 --> 00:10:25.815
- I really can't leave." and he told me, "you'll never separate me from my kids.
- 00:10:25.881 --> 00:10:27.216
- And he told me, "you'll never separate me from my kids. you'll never try to leave me.
- 00:10:27.283 --> 00:10:28.951
- Separate me from my kids. you'll never try to leave me. we don't divorce in my family."
- 00:10:29.018 --> 00:10:30.653
- You'll never try to leave me. we don't divorce in my family." and because i was
- 00:10:30.720 --> 00:10:31.821
- We don't divorce in my family." and because i was also a new christian,
- 00:10:31.887 --> 00:10:33.122
- And because i was also a new christian, he would use the spiritual--
- 00:10:33.189 --> 00:10:35.057
- Also a new christian, he would use the spiritual-- he would use scripture.
- 00:10:35.124 --> 00:10:36.125
- He would use the spiritual-- he would use scripture. >> ginger: and you met
- 00:10:36.192 --> 00:10:37.593
- He would use scripture. >> ginger: and you met him in church.
- 00:10:37.660 --> 00:10:38.494
- >> ginger: and you met him in church. >> sandee jo: yes.
- 00:10:38.561 --> 00:10:40.062
- Him in church. >> sandee jo: yes. and he would say--
- 00:10:40.129 --> 00:10:40.629
- >> sandee jo: yes. and he would say-- but i was a new christian.
- 00:10:40.696 --> 00:10:41.530
- And he would say-- but i was a new christian. he had been raised,
- 00:10:41.597 --> 00:10:42.098
- But i was a new christian. he had been raised, you know, his father was
- 00:10:42.164 --> 00:10:42.832
- He had been raised, you know, his father was the pastor of a church.
- 00:10:42.898 --> 00:10:43.966
- You know, his father was the pastor of a church. >> ginger: yeah.
- 00:10:44.033 --> 00:10:44.400
- The pastor of a church. >> ginger: yeah. >> sandee jo: and he would say,
- 00:10:44.467 --> 00:10:45.434
- >> ginger: yeah. >> sandee jo: and he would say, "i'm the head of the house.
- 00:10:45.501 --> 00:10:46.302
- >> sandee jo: and he would say, "i'm the head of the house. you have to submit to me.
- 00:10:46.368 --> 00:10:47.937
- "i'm the head of the house. you have to submit to me. god hates divorce."
- 00:10:48.003 --> 00:10:49.138
- You have to submit to me. god hates divorce." and then i would hear it again
- 00:10:49.205 --> 00:10:51.307
- God hates divorce." and then i would hear it again from my father-in-law,
- 00:10:51.373 --> 00:10:52.341
- And then i would hear it again from my father-in-law, who is a very godly man.
- 00:10:52.408 --> 00:10:53.709
- From my father-in-law, who is a very godly man. and i love him,
- 00:10:53.776 --> 00:10:54.510
- Who is a very godly man. and i love him, still to this day.
- 00:10:54.577 --> 00:10:56.245
- And i love him, still to this day. and i know he would say,
- 00:10:56.312 --> 00:10:57.313
- Still to this day. and i know he would say, you know, "god hates divorce."
- 00:10:57.379 --> 00:10:58.180
- And i know he would say, you know, "god hates divorce." so, i'm hearing all
- 00:10:58.247 --> 00:10:59.381
- You know, "god hates divorce." so, i'm hearing all this and i'm like,
- 00:10:59.448 --> 00:11:00.015
- So, i'm hearing all this and i'm like, "okay, i have to stay."
- 00:11:00.082 --> 00:11:00.850
- This and i'm like, "okay, i have to stay." >> ginger: but your husband
- 00:11:00.916 --> 00:11:01.951
- "okay, i have to stay." >> ginger: but your husband was using that as manipulation
- 00:11:02.017 --> 00:11:03.519
- >> ginger: but your husband was using that as manipulation to get what he wanted.
- 00:11:03.586 --> 00:11:05.187
- Was using that as manipulation to get what he wanted. >> sandee jo: yes.
- 00:11:05.254 --> 00:11:05.821
- To get what he wanted. >> sandee jo: yes. and so, this just years
- 00:11:05.888 --> 00:11:07.189
- >> sandee jo: yes. and so, this just years upon years would, you know.
- 00:11:07.256 --> 00:11:08.090
- And so, this just years upon years would, you know. >> joyce: did he threaten
- 00:11:08.157 --> 00:11:08.891
- Upon years would, you know. >> joyce: did he threaten to kill you if you left him?
- 00:11:08.958 --> 00:11:11.060
- >> joyce: did he threaten to kill you if you left him? >> sandee jo: yes.
- 00:11:11.127 --> 00:11:11.694
- To kill you if you left him? >> sandee jo: yes. he threatened to kill me
- 00:11:11.761 --> 00:11:12.428
- >> sandee jo: yes. he threatened to kill me so many times i lost track.
- 00:11:12.495 --> 00:11:14.497
- He threatened to kill me so many times i lost track. and he would just tell me,
- 00:11:14.563 --> 00:11:15.364
- So many times i lost track. and he would just tell me, he said--and if anybody--
- 00:11:15.431 --> 00:11:16.699
- And he would just tell me, he said--and if anybody-- "if you leave and i come
- 00:11:16.766 --> 00:11:19.001
- He said--and if anybody-- "if you leave and i come after you, i'll kill anybody
- 00:11:19.068 --> 00:11:19.869
- "if you leave and i come after you, i'll kill anybody that gets in the way."
- 00:11:19.935 --> 00:11:20.703
- After you, i'll kill anybody that gets in the way." so, whether that was my family
- 00:11:20.770 --> 00:11:22.037
- That gets in the way." so, whether that was my family or a friend, or just anybody
- 00:11:22.104 --> 00:11:24.173
- So, whether that was my family or a friend, or just anybody that was going to get
- 00:11:24.240 --> 00:11:24.907
- Or a friend, or just anybody that was going to get in the way of his, you know--
- 00:11:24.974 --> 00:11:26.175
- That was going to get in the way of his, you know-- and it was control.
- 00:11:26.242 --> 00:11:28.110
- In the way of his, you know-- and it was control. >> ginger: yeah.
- 00:11:28.177 --> 00:11:28.778
- And it was control. >> ginger: yeah. >> joyce: people control
- 00:11:28.844 --> 00:11:29.411
- >> ginger: yeah. >> joyce: people control you with fear.
- 00:11:29.478 --> 00:11:29.945
- >> joyce: people control you with fear. i know that's what my dad did.
- 00:11:30.012 --> 00:11:31.013
- You with fear. i know that's what my dad did. he never like physically
- 00:11:31.080 --> 00:11:32.782
- I know that's what my dad did. he never like physically forced me to do anything,
- 00:11:32.848 --> 00:11:33.783
- He never like physically forced me to do anything, but he controlled me with fear.
- 00:11:33.849 --> 00:11:38.554
- Forced me to do anything, but he controlled me with fear. and so, i understand
- 00:11:38.621 --> 00:11:39.421
- But he controlled me with fear. and so, i understand from a different viewpoint.
- 00:11:39.488 --> 00:11:40.923
- And so, i understand from a different viewpoint. >> sandee jo: yeah.
- 00:11:40.990 --> 00:11:41.557
- From a different viewpoint. >> sandee jo: yeah. and i understand when you--
- 00:11:41.624 --> 00:11:42.558
- >> sandee jo: yeah. and i understand when you-- you say so often about--
- 00:11:42.625 --> 00:11:44.260
- And i understand when you-- you say so often about-- you talk about the shame.
- 00:11:44.326 --> 00:11:46.362
- You say so often about-- you talk about the shame. and i love that you talk
- 00:11:46.428 --> 00:11:47.429
- You talk about the shame. and i love that you talk about hard things, which,
- 00:11:47.496 --> 00:11:49.031
- And i love that you talk about hard things, which, you know, the world
- 00:11:49.098 --> 00:11:49.965
- About hard things, which, you know, the world is talking about abuse.
- 00:11:50.032 --> 00:11:50.699
- You know, the world is talking about abuse. so, i feel like the church
- 00:11:50.766 --> 00:11:51.600
- Is talking about abuse. so, i feel like the church needs to talk about abuse.
- 00:11:51.667 --> 00:11:53.669
- So, i feel like the church needs to talk about abuse. and you are a mouthpiece
- 00:11:53.736 --> 00:11:55.571
- Needs to talk about abuse. and you are a mouthpiece for abuse.
- 00:11:55.638 --> 00:11:57.706
- And you are a mouthpiece for abuse. you put it out there,
- 00:11:57.773 --> 00:11:58.674
- For abuse. you put it out there, and you say, "this is what
- 00:11:58.741 --> 00:11:59.575
- You put it out there, and you say, "this is what happened to me."
- 00:11:59.642 --> 00:12:00.242
- And you say, "this is what happened to me." and this is, you know,
- 00:12:00.309 --> 00:12:01.510
- Happened to me." and this is, you know, "this is what i used--"
- 00:12:01.577 --> 00:12:02.545
- >> joyce: i don't think
- 00:12:03.145 --> 00:12:03.813
- >> joyce: i don't think we have any idea how many
- 00:12:03.879 --> 00:12:04.747
- >> joyce: i don't think we have any idea how many people are being abused,
- 00:12:04.814 --> 00:12:06.148
- We have any idea how many people are being abused, whether it's just control
- 00:12:06.215 --> 00:12:09.418
- People are being abused, whether it's just control or being put down all the time.
- 00:12:09.485 --> 00:12:13.756
- They can never
- 00:12:13.823 --> 00:12:14.390
- They can never do anything right.
- 00:12:14.456 --> 00:12:15.658
- They can never do anything right. anything to belittle them.
- 00:12:15.724 --> 00:12:17.626
- Do anything right. anything to belittle them. i don't think we have any idea
- 00:12:17.693 --> 00:12:18.828
- Anything to belittle them. i don't think we have any idea how many people are suffering
- 00:12:18.894 --> 00:12:20.529
- I don't think we have any idea how many people are suffering with that behind the scenes.
- 00:12:20.596 --> 00:12:22.164
- How many people are suffering with that behind the scenes. and i wanna say something,
- 00:12:22.231 --> 00:12:26.068
- With that behind the scenes. and i wanna say something, but i don't want--
- 00:12:26.135 --> 00:12:27.469
- And i wanna say something, but i don't want-- i hope people take it right.
- 00:12:27.536 --> 00:12:28.904
- But i don't want-- i hope people take it right. you know, god wants to help
- 00:12:28.971 --> 00:12:30.272
- I hope people take it right. you know, god wants to help us, but he can't do anything
- 00:12:30.339 --> 00:12:33.943
- You know, god wants to help us, but he can't do anything if we won't do anything.
- 00:12:34.009 --> 00:12:37.179
- Us, but he can't do anything if we won't do anything. and so, you had to--
- 00:12:37.246 --> 00:12:38.347
- If we won't do anything. and so, you had to-- you know, your situation
- 00:12:38.414 --> 00:12:41.450
- And so, you had to-- you know, your situation was different in that what
- 00:12:41.517 --> 00:12:45.221
- You know, your situation was different in that what your son was driven to do,
- 00:12:45.287 --> 00:12:46.555
- Was different in that what your son was driven to do, which certainly
- 00:12:46.622 --> 00:12:47.556
- Your son was driven to do, which certainly was not his fault.
- 00:12:47.623 --> 00:12:48.357
- Which certainly was not his fault. you can only put
- 00:12:48.424 --> 00:12:49.058
- Was not his fault. you can only put up with so much.
- 00:12:49.124 --> 00:12:50.559
- You can only put up with so much. but, like, i look back even
- 00:12:50.626 --> 00:12:53.796
- Up with so much. but, like, i look back even at my younger life and,
- 00:12:53.863 --> 00:12:56.131
- But, like, i look back even at my younger life and, i mean, i tried to get help
- 00:12:56.198 --> 00:12:58.434
- At my younger life and, i mean, i tried to get help from a couple of people,
- 00:12:58.500 --> 00:13:00.269
- I mean, i tried to get help from a couple of people, and they didn't wanna
- 00:13:00.336 --> 00:13:00.970
- From a couple of people, and they didn't wanna get involved.
- 00:13:01.036 --> 00:13:02.137
- And they didn't wanna get involved. and abuse was just so not
- 00:13:02.204 --> 00:13:03.873
- Get involved. and abuse was just so not talked about then.
- 00:13:03.939 --> 00:13:05.374
- And abuse was just so not talked about then. it was like--
- 00:13:05.441 --> 00:13:06.709
- Talked about then. it was like-- so, i didn't--
- 00:13:06.775 --> 00:13:08.577
- It was like-- so, i didn't-- but i wonder sometimes,
- 00:13:08.644 --> 00:13:09.545
- So, i didn't-- but i wonder sometimes, should i have just kept
- 00:13:09.612 --> 00:13:10.646
- But i wonder sometimes, should i have just kept it up until i got some help?
- 00:13:10.713 --> 00:13:13.782
- Should i have just kept it up until i got some help? and so, i think sometimes,
- 00:13:13.849 --> 00:13:15.117
- It up until i got some help? and so, i think sometimes, even when you stay,
- 00:13:15.184 --> 00:13:16.252
- And so, i think sometimes, even when you stay, there's a guilt
- 00:13:16.318 --> 00:13:16.886
- Even when you stay, there's a guilt attached to that.
- 00:13:16.952 --> 00:13:19.421
- It's like, you know,
- 00:13:20.089 --> 00:13:20.623
- It's like, you know, you should go.
- 00:13:20.689 --> 00:13:21.223
- It's like, you know, you should go. and i think that it's one
- 00:13:21.290 --> 00:13:23.158
- You should go. and i think that it's one of the things i would like
- 00:13:23.225 --> 00:13:24.059
- And i think that it's one of the things i would like to leave with people today.
- 00:13:24.126 --> 00:13:25.261
- Of the things i would like to leave with people today. and i'm not an expert
- 00:13:25.327 --> 00:13:26.729
- To leave with people today. and i'm not an expert in domestic abuse,
- 00:13:26.795 --> 00:13:27.763
- And i'm not an expert in domestic abuse, but i think probably
- 00:13:27.830 --> 00:13:32.067
- In domestic abuse, but i think probably the sooner you go,
- 00:13:32.134 --> 00:13:33.602
- But i think probably the sooner you go, the better off you are.
- 00:13:33.669 --> 00:13:35.638
- The sooner you go, the better off you are. because if somebody starts,
- 00:13:35.704 --> 00:13:37.606
- The better off you are. because if somebody starts, like my mom and dad,
- 00:13:37.673 --> 00:13:38.641
- Because if somebody starts, like my mom and dad, he hit her when they
- 00:13:38.707 --> 00:13:39.608
- Like my mom and dad, he hit her when they were still engaged.
- 00:13:39.675 --> 00:13:43.379
- He hit her when they were still engaged. so, that should have been
- 00:13:43.445 --> 00:13:45.581
- Were still engaged. so, that should have been a signal right there that
- 00:13:45.648 --> 00:13:47.316
- So, that should have been a signal right there that "i'm not going any
- 00:13:47.383 --> 00:13:48.083
- A signal right there that "i'm not going any further with this."
- 00:13:48.150 --> 00:13:48.884
- "i'm not going any further with this." because the longer
- 00:13:48.951 --> 00:13:49.952
- Further with this." because the longer you put up with it,
- 00:13:50.019 --> 00:13:51.687
- Because the longer you put up with it, the harder it is to break
- 00:13:51.754 --> 00:13:52.988
- You put up with it, the harder it is to break free from it.
- 00:13:53.055 --> 00:13:53.455
- The harder it is to break free from it. >> erin: i thought it was
- 00:13:53.522 --> 00:13:54.623
- Free from it. >> erin: i thought it was interesting in your book
- 00:13:54.690 --> 00:13:55.925
- That when you shared that--
- 00:13:55.991 --> 00:13:57.059
- That when you shared that-- i believe, was it his parents
- 00:13:57.126 --> 00:13:58.394
- That when you shared that-- i believe, was it his parents that came over to your home?
- 00:13:58.460 --> 00:13:59.728
- I believe, was it his parents that came over to your home? it was before you guys
- 00:13:59.795 --> 00:14:00.496
- That came over to your home? it was before you guys had kids, i believe or--
- 00:14:00.562 --> 00:14:02.598
- It was before you guys had kids, i believe or-- >> sandee jo: i think
- 00:14:02.665 --> 00:14:03.365
- Had kids, i believe or-- >> sandee jo: i think we went to their house.
- 00:14:03.432 --> 00:14:04.133
- >> sandee jo: i think we went to their house. >> erin: you went
- 00:14:04.199 --> 00:14:04.767
- We went to their house. >> erin: you went to their house.
- 00:14:04.833 --> 00:14:05.401
- >> erin: you went to their house. >> sandee jo: yeah.
- 00:14:05.467 --> 00:14:06.068
- To their house. >> sandee jo: yeah. that was usually
- 00:14:06.135 --> 00:14:06.735
- >> sandee jo: yeah. that was usually how it happened.
- 00:14:06.802 --> 00:14:07.236
- That was usually how it happened. we would go to their house.
- 00:14:07.303 --> 00:14:08.070
- >> erin: and you
- 00:14:08.604 --> 00:14:09.204
- >> erin: and you shared that you--
- 00:14:09.271 --> 00:14:09.705
- >> erin: and you shared that you-- i think they were
- 00:14:09.772 --> 00:14:10.272
- Shared that you-- i think they were checking on you,
- 00:14:10.339 --> 00:14:10.739
- I think they were checking on you, but it seemed like it was
- 00:14:10.806 --> 00:14:11.707
- Checking on you, but it seemed like it was an opportunity where you--
- 00:14:11.774 --> 00:14:12.474
- But it seemed like it was an opportunity where you-- where you guys could have--
- 00:14:12.541 --> 00:14:13.776
- An opportunity where you-- where you guys could have-- or you could have been
- 00:14:13.842 --> 00:14:14.576
- Where you guys could have-- or you could have been honest about it, but you
- 00:14:14.643 --> 00:14:15.444
- Or you could have been honest about it, but you just--you weren't ready.
- 00:14:15.511 --> 00:14:17.313
- >> sandee jo: i didn't share.
- 00:14:17.379 --> 00:14:18.447
- >> sandee jo: i didn't share. and i was, again,
- 00:14:18.514 --> 00:14:20.449
- >> sandee jo: i didn't share. and i was, again, i was afraid to, and he--
- 00:14:20.516 --> 00:14:21.684
- And i was, again, i was afraid to, and he-- and it was because
- 00:14:21.750 --> 00:14:22.318
- I was afraid to, and he-- and it was because of the threats.
- 00:14:22.384 --> 00:14:22.952
- And it was because of the threats. he would--
- 00:14:23.018 --> 00:14:23.752
- Of the threats. he would-- you know, tell me--
- 00:14:23.819 --> 00:14:24.453
- He would-- you know, tell me-- "you can't tell anyone,
- 00:14:24.520 --> 00:14:25.621
- You know, tell me-- "you can't tell anyone, you can't tell a soul."
- 00:14:25.688 --> 00:14:27.056
- "you can't tell anyone, you can't tell a soul." but then, he was
- 00:14:27.122 --> 00:14:28.290
- You can't tell a soul." but then, he was also so repentant,
- 00:14:28.357 --> 00:14:29.692
- But then, he was also so repentant, or he seemed to be.
- 00:14:29.758 --> 00:14:30.659
- Also so repentant, or he seemed to be. he was so--
- 00:14:30.726 --> 00:14:31.293
- Or he seemed to be. he was so-- in the early days, you know,
- 00:14:31.360 --> 00:14:33.028
- He was so-- in the early days, you know, he seemed so sorry
- 00:14:33.095 --> 00:14:33.896
- In the early days, you know, he seemed so sorry for what he did,
- 00:14:33.963 --> 00:14:34.563
- He seemed so sorry for what he did, and he would cry,
- 00:14:34.630 --> 00:14:35.197
- For what he did, and he would cry, and then i would feel bad.
- 00:14:35.264 --> 00:14:36.799
- And he would cry, and then i would feel bad. but what you said is so true.
- 00:14:36.865 --> 00:14:39.301
- And then i would feel bad. but what you said is so true. the longer that you put
- 00:14:39.368 --> 00:14:40.169
- But what you said is so true. the longer that you put up with it, the more
- 00:14:40.235 --> 00:14:41.136
- The longer that you put up with it, the more control that they have.
- 00:14:41.203 --> 00:14:42.137
- Up with it, the more control that they have. because the longer
- 00:14:42.204 --> 00:14:43.238
- Control that they have. because the longer that i stayed,
- 00:14:43.305 --> 00:14:44.673
- Because the longer that i stayed, the more that he knew
- 00:14:44.740 --> 00:14:45.708
- That i stayed, the more that he knew that i wasn't going to tell.
- 00:14:45.774 --> 00:14:48.310
- The more that he knew that i wasn't going to tell. and he was right.
- 00:14:48.377 --> 00:14:49.044
- That i wasn't going to tell. and he was right. i mean, you know, i didn't tell.
- 00:14:49.111 --> 00:14:50.713
- And he was right. i mean, you know, i didn't tell. and then the kids didn't tell,
- 00:14:50.779 --> 00:14:51.947
- I mean, you know, i didn't tell. and then the kids didn't tell, just because we knew
- 00:14:52.014 --> 00:14:53.682
- And then the kids didn't tell, just because we knew that this is what we had
- 00:14:53.749 --> 00:14:55.417
- Just because we knew that this is what we had to do to not make--you know,
- 00:14:55.484 --> 00:14:56.919
- That this is what we had to do to not make--you know, so that dad didn't get mad.
- 00:14:56.986 --> 00:14:58.921
- To do to not make--you know, so that dad didn't get mad. >> [ladies agreeing]
- 00:14:58.988 --> 00:15:00.789
- So that dad didn't get mad. >> [ladies agreeing] >> sandee jo: and but i--
- 00:15:00.856 --> 00:15:01.824
- >> [ladies agreeing] >> sandee jo: and but i-- you say something also
- 00:15:01.890 --> 00:15:02.691
- >> sandee jo: and but i-- you say something also that i've heard you say
- 00:15:02.758 --> 00:15:03.525
- You say something also that i've heard you say over the years is that
- 00:15:03.592 --> 00:15:04.927
- That i've heard you say over the years is that "take your pain
- 00:15:04.994 --> 00:15:05.728
- Over the years is that "take your pain and do something good with it."
- 00:15:05.794 --> 00:15:07.029
- "take your pain and do something good with it." >> joyce: yeah.
- 00:15:07.096 --> 00:15:07.596
- And do something good with it." >> joyce: yeah. >> sandee jo: and "don't
- 00:15:07.663 --> 00:15:08.330
- >> joyce: yeah. >> sandee jo: and "don't park at your pain."
- 00:15:08.397 --> 00:15:09.131
- >> sandee jo: and "don't park at your pain." >> joyce: yeah.
- 00:15:09.198 --> 00:15:09.765
- Park at your pain." >> joyce: yeah. and i just know that that
- 00:15:09.832 --> 00:15:10.933
- >> joyce: yeah. and i just know that that resonates with me because i know
- 00:15:11.000 --> 00:15:13.369
- And i just know that that resonates with me because i know from your personal story,
- 00:15:13.435 --> 00:15:15.304
- Resonates with me because i know from your personal story, what you've been through.
- 00:15:15.371 --> 00:15:16.005
- From your personal story, what you've been through. and abuse, you know, just like
- 00:15:16.071 --> 00:15:17.840
- What you've been through. and abuse, you know, just like you said, it's slightly
- 00:15:17.906 --> 00:15:19.408
- And abuse, you know, just like you said, it's slightly different, the abuse,
- 00:15:19.475 --> 00:15:20.409
- You said, it's slightly different, the abuse, but it's still abuse,
- 00:15:20.476 --> 00:15:22.344
- Different, the abuse, but it's still abuse, and you feel like you
- 00:15:22.411 --> 00:15:23.278
- But it's still abuse, and you feel like you can't get away from it.
- 00:15:23.345 --> 00:15:25.147
- And you feel like you can't get away from it. >> joyce: now, my dad,
- 00:15:25.214 --> 00:15:27.416
- Can't get away from it. >> joyce: now, my dad, he would come home drunk
- 00:15:27.483 --> 00:15:28.450
- >> joyce: now, my dad, he would come home drunk and slap my mother around,
- 00:15:28.517 --> 00:15:30.386
- He would come home drunk and slap my mother around, and a couple of times
- 00:15:30.452 --> 00:15:32.287
- And slap my mother around, and a couple of times he beat her so bad she
- 00:15:32.354 --> 00:15:33.322
- And a couple of times he beat her so bad she couldn't get off the floor,
- 00:15:33.389 --> 00:15:34.390
- He beat her so bad she couldn't get off the floor, but he never was
- 00:15:34.456 --> 00:15:37.826
- Couldn't get off the floor, but he never was physically violent with me,
- 00:15:37.893 --> 00:15:39.828
- But he never was physically violent with me, except one time when i ran
- 00:15:39.895 --> 00:15:40.996
- Physically violent with me, except one time when i ran away from home, and then
- 00:15:41.063 --> 00:15:41.797
- Except one time when i ran away from home, and then he beat the tar out of me.
- 00:15:41.864 --> 00:15:45.501
- Away from home, and then he beat the tar out of me. but that fear, you almost
- 00:15:45.567 --> 00:15:47.202
- He beat the tar out of me. but that fear, you almost have to experience
- 00:15:47.269 --> 00:15:48.303
- But that fear, you almost have to experience it to understand...
- 00:15:48.370 --> 00:15:51.040
- Have to experience it to understand... >> sandee jo: it's paralyzing.
- 00:15:51.106 --> 00:15:51.840
- It to understand... >> sandee jo: it's paralyzing. >> joyce: how bad that fear is.
- 00:15:51.907 --> 00:15:52.975
- >> sandee jo: it's paralyzing. >> joyce: how bad that fear is. it's just like you, you know.
- 00:15:53.042 --> 00:15:56.412
- >> joyce: how bad that fear is. it's just like you, you know. i tried.
- 00:15:56.478 --> 00:15:57.079
- It's just like you, you know. i tried. i wrote my dad a letter,
- 00:15:57.146 --> 00:15:58.180
- I tried. i wrote my dad a letter, one time.
- 00:15:58.247 --> 00:15:59.281
- I wrote my dad a letter, one time. he worked nights,
- 00:15:59.348 --> 00:16:00.082
- One time. he worked nights, and my mother
- 00:16:00.149 --> 00:16:00.749
- He worked nights, and my mother was in the hospital.
- 00:16:00.816 --> 00:16:01.483
- And my mother was in the hospital. so, he'd get home
- 00:16:01.550 --> 00:16:03.252
- Was in the hospital. so, he'd get home around midnight,
- 00:16:03.318 --> 00:16:03.886
- So, he'd get home around midnight, and i wrote a letter
- 00:16:03.952 --> 00:16:04.653
- Around midnight, and i wrote a letter and left it,
- 00:16:04.720 --> 00:16:06.088
- And i wrote a letter and left it, by where he sat and ate,
- 00:16:06.155 --> 00:16:07.256
- And left it, by where he sat and ate, telling him how awful
- 00:16:07.322 --> 00:16:09.091
- By where he sat and ate, telling him how awful it made me feel,
- 00:16:09.158 --> 00:16:09.825
- Telling him how awful it made me feel, what he was doing,
- 00:16:09.892 --> 00:16:10.526
- It made me feel, what he was doing, and, you know,
- 00:16:10.592 --> 00:16:11.160
- What he was doing, and, you know, would he please stop.
- 00:16:11.226 --> 00:16:12.161
- And, you know, would he please stop. and he came and got me out
- 00:16:12.227 --> 00:16:14.163
- Would he please stop. and he came and got me out of bed and just scared me more.
- 00:16:14.229 --> 00:16:18.067
- And he came and got me out of bed and just scared me more. and so, every time i would
- 00:16:18.133 --> 00:16:19.935
- Of bed and just scared me more. and so, every time i would try to do anything or say
- 00:16:20.002 --> 00:16:22.504
- And so, every time i would try to do anything or say anything to get him to quit,
- 00:16:22.571 --> 00:16:25.074
- Try to do anything or say anything to get him to quit, that would just make him madder.
- 00:16:25.140 --> 00:16:26.542
- Anything to get him to quit, that would just make him madder. >> ginger: yeah.
- 00:16:26.608 --> 00:16:27.176
- That would just make him madder. >> ginger: yeah. well, as an example,
- 00:16:27.242 --> 00:16:28.410
- >> ginger: yeah. well, as an example, there was a time that you
- 00:16:28.477 --> 00:16:29.711
- Well, as an example, there was a time that you called the police for help,
- 00:16:29.778 --> 00:16:32.381
- There was a time that you called the police for help, and he put a stop
- 00:16:32.448 --> 00:16:34.116
- Called the police for help, and he put a stop to that right away.
- 00:16:34.183 --> 00:16:35.050
- And he put a stop to that right away. tell us what happened.
- 00:16:35.117 --> 00:16:36.652
- To that right away. tell us what happened. >> sandee jo: i had never
- 00:16:36.718 --> 00:16:37.553
- Tell us what happened. >> sandee jo: i had never called the police before that,
- 00:16:37.619 --> 00:16:38.921
- >> sandee jo: i had never called the police before that, and i never called
- 00:16:38.987 --> 00:16:39.755
- Called the police before that, and i never called the police again after that.
- 00:16:39.822 --> 00:16:40.889
- And i never called the police again after that. and that's because
- 00:16:40.956 --> 00:16:42.958
- The police again after that. and that's because that day was--
- 00:16:43.025 --> 00:16:44.493
- And that's because that day was-- had just--
- 00:16:44.560 --> 00:16:46.028
- That day was-- had just-- was horrible.
- 00:16:46.095 --> 00:16:46.862
- Had just-- was horrible. he was burning all my stuff,
- 00:16:46.929 --> 00:16:48.964
- Was horrible. he was burning all my stuff, my treasured pictures from
- 00:16:49.031 --> 00:16:50.699
- He was burning all my stuff, my treasured pictures from my grandma and my nana,
- 00:16:50.766 --> 00:16:53.001
- My treasured pictures from my grandma and my nana, and just everything.
- 00:16:53.068 --> 00:16:54.703
- My grandma and my nana, and just everything. and i took his beloved cowboy
- 00:16:54.770 --> 00:16:57.172
- And just everything. and i took his beloved cowboy hat and i tossed it in the fire.
- 00:16:57.239 --> 00:16:58.607
- And i took his beloved cowboy hat and i tossed it in the fire. and i knew even as i did that,
- 00:16:58.674 --> 00:16:59.842
- Hat and i tossed it in the fire. and i knew even as i did that, that this was really
- 00:16:59.908 --> 00:17:00.976
- And i knew even as i did that, that this was really going to set him off.
- 00:17:01.043 --> 00:17:02.277
- That this was really going to set him off. i mean, even worse
- 00:17:02.344 --> 00:17:03.312
- Going to set him off. i mean, even worse than he already was.
- 00:17:03.378 --> 00:17:04.346
- I mean, even worse than he already was. and it did.
- 00:17:04.413 --> 00:17:05.147
- Than he already was. and it did. and he brought a chainsaw
- 00:17:05.214 --> 00:17:06.381
- And it did. and he brought a chainsaw in and started chopping
- 00:17:06.448 --> 00:17:07.449
- And he brought a chainsaw in and started chopping up our furniture.
- 00:17:07.516 --> 00:17:08.250
- And then i was hiding,
- 00:17:08.917 --> 00:17:09.651
- And then i was hiding, crouching in a corner.
- 00:17:09.718 --> 00:17:10.686
- And then i was hiding, crouching in a corner. anyway, he got a hold
- 00:17:10.752 --> 00:17:12.087
- Crouching in a corner. anyway, he got a hold of me and he--again, by the hair
- 00:17:12.154 --> 00:17:14.223
- Anyway, he got a hold of me and he--again, by the hair and drug me room to room,
- 00:17:14.289 --> 00:17:16.091
- Of me and he--again, by the hair and drug me room to room, slamming me into walls
- 00:17:16.158 --> 00:17:17.025
- And drug me room to room, slamming me into walls and then kicking me,
- 00:17:17.092 --> 00:17:18.660
- Slamming me into walls and then kicking me, pounding on me.
- 00:17:18.727 --> 00:17:19.495
- And then kicking me, pounding on me. and i just remember thinking,
- 00:17:19.561 --> 00:17:21.864
- Pounding on me. and i just remember thinking, "i'm going to die.
- 00:17:21.930 --> 00:17:22.598
- And i just remember thinking, "i'm going to die. this is the day when
- 00:17:22.664 --> 00:17:24.166
- "i'm going to die. this is the day when it's all going to end."
- 00:17:24.233 --> 00:17:25.734
- This is the day when it's all going to end." and he walked out.
- 00:17:25.801 --> 00:17:26.969
- It's all going to end." and he walked out. i think he went outside,
- 00:17:27.035 --> 00:17:27.903
- And he walked out. i think he went outside, and i went over
- 00:17:27.970 --> 00:17:28.670
- I think he went outside, and i went over and tried to call 911.
- 00:17:28.737 --> 00:17:30.139
- And i went over and tried to call 911. and immediately, the call got
- 00:17:30.205 --> 00:17:33.008
- And tried to call 911. and immediately, the call got disconnected, and i just knew.
- 00:17:33.075 --> 00:17:36.178
- And immediately, the call got disconnected, and i just knew. and he told me.
- 00:17:36.245 --> 00:17:37.246
- Disconnected, and i just knew. and he told me. he's like,
- 00:17:37.312 --> 00:17:37.913
- And he told me. he's like, "you make them go away.
- 00:17:37.980 --> 00:17:39.314
- He's like, "you make them go away. and if you don't
- 00:17:39.381 --> 00:17:39.982
- "you make them go away. and if you don't make them go away,
- 00:17:40.048 --> 00:17:40.649
- And if you don't make them go away, i'm gonna kill you,
- 00:17:40.716 --> 00:17:42.117
- Make them go away, i'm gonna kill you, i'm gonna kill them,
- 00:17:42.184 --> 00:17:42.851
- I'm gonna kill you, i'm gonna kill them, and then i'm gonna kill myself.
- 00:17:42.918 --> 00:17:44.353
- I'm gonna kill them, and then i'm gonna kill myself. and i knew he was unstable
- 00:17:44.419 --> 00:17:46.088
- Enough to do that.
- 00:17:46.155 --> 00:17:47.356
- Enough to do that. so, he stood behind
- 00:17:47.422 --> 00:17:48.090
- Enough to do that. so, he stood behind a door where he could
- 00:17:48.157 --> 00:17:49.658
- So, he stood behind a door where he could see the front door,
- 00:17:49.725 --> 00:17:50.392
- A door where he could see the front door, and he had a loaded
- 00:17:50.459 --> 00:17:51.260
- See the front door, and he had a loaded rifle in his hand.
- 00:17:51.326 --> 00:17:52.794
- And he had a loaded rifle in his hand. and he said,
- 00:17:52.861 --> 00:17:53.795
- Rifle in his hand. and he said, "you make them go away."
- 00:17:53.862 --> 00:17:54.563
- And he said, "you make them go away." and so, i just opened
- 00:17:54.630 --> 00:17:55.631
- "you make them go away." and so, i just opened the door pretty much in terror,
- 00:17:55.697 --> 00:17:56.999
- And so, i just opened the door pretty much in terror, and kind of fixed
- 00:17:57.065 --> 00:17:59.201
- The door pretty much in terror, and kind of fixed my hair a little bit
- 00:17:59.268 --> 00:17:59.935
- And kind of fixed my hair a little bit and opened the door.
- 00:18:00.002 --> 00:18:01.303
- My hair a little bit and opened the door. and i just said,
- 00:18:01.370 --> 00:18:02.171
- And opened the door. and i just said, "oh, i'm so sorry.
- 00:18:02.237 --> 00:18:03.105
- And i just said, "oh, i'm so sorry. it must have been a mistake,"
- 00:18:03.172 --> 00:18:04.173
- "oh, i'm so sorry. it must have been a mistake," and, "i apologize."
- 00:18:04.239 --> 00:18:05.774
- It must have been a mistake," and, "i apologize." and they kind of looked
- 00:18:05.841 --> 00:18:07.009
- And, "i apologize." and they kind of looked over my shoulder.
- 00:18:07.075 --> 00:18:07.543
- And they kind of looked over my shoulder. they couldn't see
- 00:18:07.609 --> 00:18:08.010
- Over my shoulder. they couldn't see the room where he had just
- 00:18:08.076 --> 00:18:08.877
- They couldn't see the room where he had just chopped up all the furniture.
- 00:18:08.944 --> 00:18:10.546
- The room where he had just chopped up all the furniture. and they said,
- 00:18:10.612 --> 00:18:13.348
- Chopped up all the furniture. and they said, "what's going on out back?"
- 00:18:13.415 --> 00:18:14.683
- And they said, "what's going on out back?" and i said, "oh, my husband's
- 00:18:14.750 --> 00:18:15.651
- "what's going on out back?" and i said, "oh, my husband's just burning some trash
- 00:18:15.717 --> 00:18:16.852
- And i said, "oh, my husband's just burning some trash or burning some stuff."
- 00:18:16.919 --> 00:18:18.554
- Just burning some trash or burning some stuff." and that was it.
- 00:18:18.620 --> 00:18:20.155
- Or burning some stuff." and that was it. and as i watched
- 00:18:20.222 --> 00:18:21.323
- And that was it. and as i watched him drive away,
- 00:18:21.390 --> 00:18:22.057
- And as i watched him drive away, i just remember thinking,
- 00:18:22.124 --> 00:18:24.493
- Him drive away, i just remember thinking, "that was my chance."
- 00:18:24.560 --> 00:18:25.494
- I just remember thinking, "that was my chance." >> ginger: yeah.
- 00:18:25.561 --> 00:18:25.961
- "that was my chance." >> ginger: yeah. >> sandee jo: that was
- 00:18:26.028 --> 00:18:26.728
- >> ginger: yeah. >> sandee jo: that was my chance.
- 00:18:26.795 --> 00:18:27.429
- >> sandee jo: that was my chance. >> ginger: like you had to feel
- 00:18:27.496 --> 00:18:28.463
- My chance. >> ginger: like you had to feel a bit, not just helpless,
- 00:18:28.530 --> 00:18:31.300
- >> ginger: like you had to feel a bit, not just helpless, but like there is no answer.
- 00:18:31.366 --> 00:18:32.868
- A bit, not just helpless, but like there is no answer. >> joyce: yeah.
- 00:18:32.935 --> 00:18:33.302
- But like there is no answer. >> joyce: yeah. >> sandee jo: i felt very
- 00:18:33.368 --> 00:18:34.203
- >> joyce: yeah. >> sandee jo: i felt very helpless at that moment.
- 00:18:34.269 --> 00:18:35.437
- >> sandee jo: i felt very helpless at that moment. and then, of course,
- 00:18:35.504 --> 00:18:36.772
- Helpless at that moment. and then, of course, just like you said,
- 00:18:36.838 --> 00:18:37.406
- And then, of course, just like you said, i paid for that.
- 00:18:37.472 --> 00:18:39.141
- Just like you said, i paid for that. you know, as a result
- 00:18:39.208 --> 00:18:40.209
- I paid for that. you know, as a result of what i did, you know,
- 00:18:40.275 --> 00:18:42.878
- You know, as a result of what i did, you know, i paid for that.
- 00:18:42.945 --> 00:18:43.679
- Of what i did, you know, i paid for that. and the next day,
- 00:18:43.745 --> 00:18:44.580
- I paid for that. and the next day, i had a black eye and i had
- 00:18:44.646 --> 00:18:46.048
- And the next day, i had a black eye and i had to cover up all these marks.
- 00:18:46.114 --> 00:18:46.915
- I had a black eye and i had to cover up all these marks. >> joyce: now, how did you
- 00:18:46.982 --> 00:18:47.783
- To cover up all these marks. >> joyce: now, how did you hide all the bruises?
- 00:18:47.849 --> 00:18:48.417
- >> joyce: now, how did you hide all the bruises? >> sandee jo: the main bruises
- 00:18:48.483 --> 00:18:49.318
- Hide all the bruises? >> sandee jo: the main bruises that i had were on my body.
- 00:18:49.384 --> 00:18:50.452
- >> sandee jo: the main bruises that i had were on my body. and because of the conservative
- 00:18:50.519 --> 00:18:51.920
- That i had were on my body. and because of the conservative church that we belonged to,
- 00:18:51.987 --> 00:18:55.557
- And because of the conservative church that we belonged to, it was very easy to hide.
- 00:18:55.624 --> 00:18:57.092
- Church that we belonged to, it was very easy to hide. i wore long skirts,
- 00:18:57.159 --> 00:18:58.327
- It was very easy to hide. i wore long skirts, and my arms were covered.
- 00:18:58.393 --> 00:19:01.296
- I wore long skirts, and my arms were covered. so, he would usually--
- 00:19:01.363 --> 00:19:02.097
- And my arms were covered. so, he would usually-- that's where i would
- 00:19:02.164 --> 00:19:02.898
- So, he would usually-- that's where i would get the beatings were
- 00:19:02.965 --> 00:19:04.199
- That's where i would get the beatings were on my arms and my body.
- 00:19:04.266 --> 00:19:05.901
- Get the beatings were on my arms and my body. but every once in a while,
- 00:19:05.968 --> 00:19:07.035
- On my arms and my body. but every once in a while, he would strike me in my face.
- 00:19:07.102 --> 00:19:08.637
- But every once in a while, he would strike me in my face. and so, i had black eyes,
- 00:19:08.704 --> 00:19:10.439
- He would strike me in my face. and so, i had black eyes, but that i would just
- 00:19:10.505 --> 00:19:11.206
- And so, i had black eyes, but that i would just cover with makeup.
- 00:19:11.273 --> 00:19:12.741
- But that i would just cover with makeup. and i remember that that
- 00:19:12.808 --> 00:19:14.409
- Cover with makeup. and i remember that that particular occasion when
- 00:19:14.476 --> 00:19:16.245
- And i remember that that particular occasion when i went to work the next day,
- 00:19:16.311 --> 00:19:17.546
- Particular occasion when i went to work the next day, we had a school at the church.
- 00:19:17.613 --> 00:19:19.248
- I went to work the next day, we had a school at the church. and i remember
- 00:19:19.314 --> 00:19:20.515
- We had a school at the church. and i remember somebody saying,
- 00:19:20.582 --> 00:19:21.350
- And i remember somebody saying, "what happened to your eye?"
- 00:19:21.416 --> 00:19:22.851
- Somebody saying, "what happened to your eye?" and i just kind
- 00:19:22.918 --> 00:19:24.319
- "what happened to your eye?" and i just kind of brushed it off.
- 00:19:24.386 --> 00:19:25.454
- And i just kind of brushed it off. i don't even remember
- 00:19:25.520 --> 00:19:26.088
- Of brushed it off. i don't even remember what i said, but i got very
- 00:19:26.154 --> 00:19:27.389
- I don't even remember what i said, but i got very skilled at coming up with,
- 00:19:27.456 --> 00:19:29.157
- What i said, but i got very skilled at coming up with, you know, accidents.
- 00:19:29.224 --> 00:19:32.194
- Skilled at coming up with, you know, accidents. >> ginger: well, sandee jo's
- 00:19:32.261 --> 00:19:33.829
- You know, accidents. >> ginger: well, sandee jo's book is called
- 00:19:33.895 --> 00:19:34.563
- >> ginger: well, sandee jo's book is called "if walls could talk."
- 00:19:34.630 --> 00:19:35.564
- Book is called "if walls could talk." and i think that the subtitle
- 00:19:35.631 --> 00:19:37.766
- "if walls could talk." and i think that the subtitle is so poignant.
- 00:19:37.833 --> 00:19:38.634
- And i think that the subtitle is so poignant. it's "the high price
- 00:19:38.700 --> 00:19:40.168
- Is so poignant. it's "the high price of a picture-perfect family."
- 00:19:40.235 --> 00:19:41.637
- It's "the high price of a picture-perfect family." and that really is,
- 00:19:41.703 --> 00:19:44.273
- Of a picture-perfect family." and that really is, talking about how many
- 00:19:44.339 --> 00:19:45.474
- And that really is, talking about how many christians are in a situation
- 00:19:45.540 --> 00:19:48.510
- Talking about how many christians are in a situation where something terrible
- 00:19:48.577 --> 00:19:49.978
- Christians are in a situation where something terrible is happening in their home
- 00:19:50.045 --> 00:19:51.079
- Where something terrible is happening in their home that nobody knows about.
- 00:19:51.146 --> 00:19:52.814
- Is happening in their home that nobody knows about. and we do hide so much
- 00:19:52.881 --> 00:19:56.351
- That nobody knows about. and we do hide so much because of shame,
- 00:19:56.418 --> 00:19:57.786
- And we do hide so much because of shame, because of embarrassment,
- 00:19:57.853 --> 00:19:58.954
- Because of shame, because of embarrassment, because of fear,
- 00:19:59.021 --> 00:20:00.422
- Because of embarrassment, because of fear, whatever it may be.
- 00:20:00.489 --> 00:20:01.490
- Because of fear, whatever it may be. and you have to get very
- 00:20:01.556 --> 00:20:03.191
- Whatever it may be. and you have to get very good at it after a while.
- 00:20:03.258 --> 00:20:04.893
- >> sandee jo: unfortunately.
- 00:20:05.794 --> 00:20:06.328
- >> sandee jo: unfortunately. >> ginger: it makes you wonder,
- 00:20:06.395 --> 00:20:07.195
- >> sandee jo: unfortunately. >> ginger: it makes you wonder, you know, how many
- 00:20:07.262 --> 00:20:08.030
- >> ginger: it makes you wonder, you know, how many people are suffering?
- 00:20:08.096 --> 00:20:10.499
- You know, how many people are suffering? >> joyce: how did your
- 00:20:10.565 --> 00:20:11.233
- People are suffering? >> joyce: how did your children respond to all this?
- 00:20:11.300 --> 00:20:13.335
- >> joyce: how did your children respond to all this? >> sandee jo: so, growing up
- 00:20:13.402 --> 00:20:14.703
- Children respond to all this? >> sandee jo: so, growing up that was all they knew, sadly.
- 00:20:14.770 --> 00:20:16.905
- >> sandee jo: so, growing up that was all they knew, sadly. i remember my daughter
- 00:20:16.972 --> 00:20:18.407
- That was all they knew, sadly. i remember my daughter telling me, years later,
- 00:20:18.473 --> 00:20:19.908
- When i told her,
- 00:20:19.975 --> 00:20:21.443
- When i told her, in the beginning, that i was
- 00:20:21.510 --> 00:20:22.444
- When i told her, in the beginning, that i was gonna write the book,
- 00:20:22.511 --> 00:20:24.413
- In the beginning, that i was gonna write the book, i remember her saying,
- 00:20:24.479 --> 00:20:26.715
- Gonna write the book, i remember her saying, "you know, mom,
- 00:20:26.782 --> 00:20:27.949
- I remember her saying, "you know, mom, this is all we ever knew."
- 00:20:28.016 --> 00:20:29.785
- "you know, mom, this is all we ever knew." and i had never actually
- 00:20:29.851 --> 00:20:30.786
- This is all we ever knew." and i had never actually thought about it.
- 00:20:30.852 --> 00:20:31.820
- And i had never actually thought about it. she said, "you grew up with
- 00:20:31.887 --> 00:20:32.888
- Thought about it. she said, "you grew up with gram," which is my mom.
- 00:20:32.954 --> 00:20:34.656
- She said, "you grew up with gram," which is my mom. she's got a very
- 00:20:34.723 --> 00:20:35.991
- Gram," which is my mom. she's got a very vibrant personality.
- 00:20:36.058 --> 00:20:37.359
- She's got a very vibrant personality. love my mom.
- 00:20:37.426 --> 00:20:38.660
- Vibrant personality. love my mom. she was the hostess
- 00:20:38.727 --> 00:20:40.395
- Love my mom. she was the hostess for all the family parties.
- 00:20:40.462 --> 00:20:42.597
- She was the hostess for all the family parties. and she said,
- 00:20:42.664 --> 00:20:43.231
- For all the family parties. and she said, "you knew a different life."
- 00:20:43.298 --> 00:20:44.700
- And she said, "you knew a different life." but she says,
- 00:20:44.766 --> 00:20:45.367
- "you knew a different life." but she says, "this is all we ever knew."
- 00:20:45.434 --> 00:20:46.635
- But she says, "this is all we ever knew." so, when the abuse ended
- 00:20:46.702 --> 00:20:49.538
- "this is all we ever knew." so, when the abuse ended and their dad was dead
- 00:20:49.604 --> 00:20:50.672
- So, when the abuse ended and their dad was dead and we moved on with
- 00:20:50.739 --> 00:20:51.673
- And their dad was dead and we moved on with our life, they still had
- 00:20:51.740 --> 00:20:53.275
- And we moved on with our life, they still had so many struggles.
- 00:20:53.342 --> 00:20:54.042
- Our life, they still had so many struggles. they had all the emotional
- 00:20:54.109 --> 00:20:56.378
- So many struggles. they had all the emotional trauma that you have to work
- 00:20:56.445 --> 00:20:57.579
- They had all the emotional trauma that you have to work through and try to figure
- 00:20:57.646 --> 00:20:59.915
- Trauma that you have to work through and try to figure out because they are kids
- 00:20:59.981 --> 00:21:01.249
- Through and try to figure out because they are kids going through it, whereas,
- 00:21:01.316 --> 00:21:02.417
- Out because they are kids going through it, whereas, i'm an adult going through it.
- 00:21:02.484 --> 00:21:04.152
- Going through it, whereas, i'm an adult going through it. and i've had a different--
- 00:21:04.219 --> 00:21:05.687
- I'm an adult going through it. and i've had a different-- i know that there's
- 00:21:05.754 --> 00:21:06.521
- And i've had a different-- i know that there's a different life.
- 00:21:06.588 --> 00:21:08.190
- I know that there's a different life. so, when she pointed
- 00:21:08.256 --> 00:21:08.990
- A different life. so, when she pointed that out to me,
- 00:21:09.057 --> 00:21:09.658
- So, when she pointed that out to me, i tried to be extra
- 00:21:09.725 --> 00:21:11.326
- That out to me, i tried to be extra sensitive to that,
- 00:21:11.393 --> 00:21:12.260
- I tried to be extra sensitive to that, to understand that
- 00:21:12.327 --> 00:21:13.328
- Sensitive to that, to understand that i guess i had really hadn't
- 00:21:13.395 --> 00:21:14.896
- To understand that i guess i had really hadn't thought of it like that,
- 00:21:14.963 --> 00:21:16.398
- I guess i had really hadn't thought of it like that, but they've all had their own
- 00:21:16.465 --> 00:21:18.834
- Thought of it like that, but they've all had their own individual journeys in life.
- 00:21:18.900 --> 00:21:20.569
- But they've all had their own individual journeys in life. they've had to heal, you know,
- 00:21:20.635 --> 00:21:24.439
- Individual journeys in life. they've had to heal, you know, what hurts me as a mom
- 00:21:24.506 --> 00:21:25.774
- They've had to heal, you know, what hurts me as a mom is i can't heal for them.
- 00:21:25.841 --> 00:21:27.309
- What hurts me as a mom is i can't heal for them. you know, it's been
- 00:21:27.376 --> 00:21:28.009
- Is i can't heal for them. you know, it's been a lot for them.
- 00:21:28.076 --> 00:21:28.744
- You know, it's been a lot for them. >> joyce: right.
- 00:21:28.810 --> 00:21:29.611
- A lot for them. >> joyce: right. >> sandee jo: but i did explain
- 00:21:29.678 --> 00:21:30.879
- >> joyce: right. >> sandee jo: but i did explain to them this is what
- 00:21:30.946 --> 00:21:32.013
- >> sandee jo: but i did explain to them this is what i feel like i have to do
- 00:21:32.080 --> 00:21:33.515
- To them this is what i feel like i have to do and i'll keep you guys out
- 00:21:33.582 --> 00:21:35.250
- I feel like i have to do and i'll keep you guys out of it as much as i possibly can,
- 00:21:35.317 --> 00:21:36.651
- And i'll keep you guys out of it as much as i possibly can, but you are part of the story.
- 00:21:36.718 --> 00:21:38.453
- Of it as much as i possibly can, but you are part of the story. and so, as adult children,
- 00:21:38.520 --> 00:21:40.689
- But you are part of the story. and so, as adult children, now grown, and i see that
- 00:21:40.756 --> 00:21:42.190
- And so, as adult children, now grown, and i see that the struggles that they've had,
- 00:21:42.257 --> 00:21:43.492
- Now grown, and i see that the struggles that they've had, it's why i tell other women,
- 00:21:43.558 --> 00:21:46.928
- The struggles that they've had, it's why i tell other women, "i know you're afraid,
- 00:21:46.995 --> 00:21:48.463
- It's why i tell other women, "i know you're afraid, but you have to get
- 00:21:48.530 --> 00:21:50.265
- "i know you're afraid, but you have to get those kids and separate
- 00:21:50.332 --> 00:21:52.100
- But you have to get those kids and separate yourself from the abuser
- 00:21:52.167 --> 00:21:53.101
- Those kids and separate yourself from the abuser because you should be more
- 00:21:53.168 --> 00:21:54.636
- Yourself from the abuser because you should be more afraid of what's going
- 00:21:54.703 --> 00:21:55.504
- Because you should be more afraid of what's going to happen to them as adults
- 00:21:55.570 --> 00:21:57.839
- Afraid of what's going to happen to them as adults when they're trying to heal
- 00:21:57.906 --> 00:22:00.709
- To happen to them as adults when they're trying to heal and they're looking sometimes
- 00:22:00.776 --> 00:22:02.277
- When they're trying to heal and they're looking sometimes at destructive paths to heal,
- 00:22:02.344 --> 00:22:04.780
- And they're looking sometimes at destructive paths to heal, and they don't realize that,
- 00:22:04.846 --> 00:22:05.981
- At destructive paths to heal, and they don't realize that, you know, that's not really
- 00:22:06.047 --> 00:22:06.915
- And they don't realize that, you know, that's not really gonna heal them.
- 00:22:06.982 --> 00:22:07.582
- You know, that's not really gonna heal them. that's going to hurt them."
- 00:22:07.649 --> 00:22:08.817
- Gonna heal them. that's going to hurt them." >> ginger: well, and what
- 00:22:08.884 --> 00:22:09.551
- That's going to hurt them." >> ginger: well, and what your family went through,
- 00:22:09.618 --> 00:22:11.486
- >> ginger: well, and what your family went through, not even just
- 00:22:11.553 --> 00:22:12.287
- Your family went through, not even just the physical abuse,
- 00:22:12.354 --> 00:22:13.288
- Not even just the physical abuse, but the secrets
- 00:22:13.355 --> 00:22:14.956
- The physical abuse, but the secrets and the spiritual
- 00:22:15.023 --> 00:22:16.691
- But the secrets and the spiritual and emotional abuse,
- 00:22:16.758 --> 00:22:18.093
- And the spiritual and emotional abuse, your husband would buy them
- 00:22:18.160 --> 00:22:21.830
- And emotional abuse, your husband would buy them pets to kind of be the hero,
- 00:22:21.897 --> 00:22:23.398
- Your husband would buy them pets to kind of be the hero, and then, at times,
- 00:22:23.465 --> 00:22:25.133
- Pets to kind of be the hero, and then, at times, would kill their pets as well.
- 00:22:25.200 --> 00:22:27.135
- And then, at times, would kill their pets as well. >> sandee jo: yes.
- 00:22:27.202 --> 00:22:27.769
- Would kill their pets as well. >> sandee jo: yes. >> ginger: so, you look at what
- 00:22:27.836 --> 00:22:31.706
- >> sandee jo: yes. >> ginger: so, you look at what a person goes through,
- 00:22:31.773 --> 00:22:32.741
- >> ginger: so, you look at what a person goes through, and you just see the brokenness
- 00:22:32.808 --> 00:22:34.810
- A person goes through, and you just see the brokenness that that must cause.
- 00:22:34.876 --> 00:22:36.344
- And you just see the brokenness that that must cause. and yet, here you are,
- 00:22:36.411 --> 00:22:38.580
- That that must cause. and yet, here you are, and god has done wonderful,
- 00:22:38.647 --> 00:22:41.850
- And yet, here you are, and god has done wonderful, miraculous things.
- 00:22:41.917 --> 00:22:42.984
- And god has done wonderful, miraculous things. and when you look at it from
- 00:22:43.051 --> 00:22:44.686
- Miraculous things. and when you look at it from the outside, you would think,
- 00:22:44.753 --> 00:22:45.954
- And when you look at it from the outside, you would think, "how did you survive?
- 00:22:46.021 --> 00:22:47.422
- The outside, you would think, "how did you survive? how are you here
- 00:22:47.489 --> 00:22:49.357
- "how did you survive? how are you here today to share this,
- 00:22:49.424 --> 00:22:51.059
- How are you here today to share this, to help other people?"
- 00:22:51.126 --> 00:22:52.227
- Today to share this, to help other people?" so, you had a relationship
- 00:22:52.294 --> 00:22:54.763
- To help other people?" so, you had a relationship with christ.
- 00:22:54.830 --> 00:22:55.497
- So, you had a relationship with christ. you were "a new christian,"
- 00:22:55.564 --> 00:22:57.165
- With christ. you were "a new christian," as you said, going into this,
- 00:22:57.232 --> 00:22:58.500
- You were "a new christian," as you said, going into this, but you said there was a time
- 00:22:58.567 --> 00:23:00.669
- As you said, going into this, but you said there was a time that you just needed the word
- 00:23:00.735 --> 00:23:02.304
- But you said there was a time that you just needed the word of god more than anything else.
- 00:23:02.370 --> 00:23:03.972
- That you just needed the word of god more than anything else. like it was the only thing
- 00:23:04.039 --> 00:23:05.574
- Of god more than anything else. like it was the only thing sustaining you.
- 00:23:05.640 --> 00:23:06.508
- Like it was the only thing sustaining you. >> sandee jo: it was.
- 00:23:06.575 --> 00:23:07.609
- >> announcer: you've lived
- 00:23:09.778 --> 00:23:10.779
- >> announcer: you've lived long enough to know:
- 00:23:10.846 --> 00:23:11.813
- Long enough to know: the day won't always
- 00:23:11.880 --> 00:23:12.781
- The day won't always go as planned.
- 00:23:12.848 --> 00:23:13.582
- Go as planned. but peace isn't found
- 00:23:13.648 --> 00:23:15.050
- But peace isn't found in control.
- 00:23:15.116 --> 00:23:15.784
- In control. it's found in quiet
- 00:23:15.851 --> 00:23:16.685
- It's found in quiet moments with god.
- 00:23:16.751 --> 00:23:18.553
- >> joyce: "beginning your day
- 00:23:18.920 --> 00:23:19.588
- >> joyce: "beginning your day god's way" is a 365-day
- 00:23:19.654 --> 00:23:20.489
- God's way" is a 365-day devotional to help you start
- 00:23:20.555 --> 00:23:22.791
- Devotional to help you start your mornings with the truth
- 00:23:22.858 --> 00:23:24.059
- Your mornings with the truth of god's word.
- 00:23:24.125 --> 00:23:25.393
- Of god's word. when you begin your day rooted
- 00:23:25.460 --> 00:23:26.728
- When you begin your day rooted in scripture, something
- 00:23:26.795 --> 00:23:28.163
- In scripture, something powerful happens.
- 00:23:28.230 --> 00:23:30.065
- Powerful happens. your thoughts
- 00:23:30.131 --> 00:23:30.632
- Your thoughts start to change,
- 00:23:30.699 --> 00:23:31.466
- Start to change, your emotions come
- 00:23:31.533 --> 00:23:32.467
- Your emotions come into balance.
- 00:23:32.534 --> 00:23:33.368
- Into balance. you begin
- 00:23:33.435 --> 00:23:34.035
- You begin to respond to life,
- 00:23:34.102 --> 00:23:35.337
- To respond to life, not just react
- 00:23:35.403 --> 00:23:35.871
- Not just react to it.
- 00:23:35.937 --> 00:23:36.805
- To it. and you'll find
- 00:23:36.872 --> 00:23:37.839
- And you'll find yourself walking
- 00:23:37.906 --> 00:23:38.507
- Yourself walking in more
- 00:23:38.573 --> 00:23:39.040
- In more peace,
- 00:23:39.107 --> 00:23:39.674
- Peace, wisdom,
- 00:23:39.741 --> 00:23:40.442
- Wisdom, and joy
- 00:23:40.509 --> 00:23:40.876
- And joy no matter
- 00:23:40.942 --> 00:23:41.276
- No matter what comes
- 00:23:41.343 --> 00:23:41.776
- What comes your way.
- 00:23:41.843 --> 00:23:42.777
- Your way. each devotional includes
- 00:23:42.844 --> 00:23:43.945
- Each devotional includes a scripture, a prayer,
- 00:23:44.012 --> 00:23:45.280
- A scripture, a prayer, and a word
- 00:23:45.347 --> 00:23:46.114
- And a word of encouragement
- 00:23:46.181 --> 00:23:46.815
- Of encouragement to help you stay
- 00:23:46.882 --> 00:23:47.749
- To help you stay focused on god's love
- 00:23:47.816 --> 00:23:49.084
- Focused on god's love and direction
- 00:23:49.150 --> 00:23:49.618
- And direction for your life.
- 00:23:49.684 --> 00:23:50.619
- For your life. so, don't just get
- 00:23:50.685 --> 00:23:51.520
- So, don't just get through your day;
- 00:23:51.586 --> 00:23:52.587
- Through your day; live it on purpose.
- 00:23:52.654 --> 00:23:55.056
- Live it on purpose. >> announcer: every day
- 00:23:55.123 --> 00:23:55.657
- >> announcer: every day is a brand-new
- 00:23:55.724 --> 00:23:56.258
- Is a brand-new opportunity for
- 00:23:56.324 --> 00:23:56.858
- Opportunity for a fresh start with
- 00:23:56.925 --> 00:23:57.726
- A fresh start with joyce's devotional
- 00:23:57.792 --> 00:23:58.126
- Joyce's devotional "beginning your day
- 00:23:58.193 --> 00:23:59.661
- "beginning your day god's way."
- 00:23:59.728 --> 00:24:00.362
- God's way." it's available
- 00:24:00.428 --> 00:24:01.062
- It's available to you, right now,
- 00:24:01.129 --> 00:24:01.730
- To you, right now, for your gift
- 00:24:01.796 --> 00:24:02.631
- For your gift of any amount.
- 00:24:02.697 --> 00:24:03.498
- Of any amount. and when you give...
- 00:24:03.565 --> 00:24:04.132
- And when you give... or more,
- 00:24:04.199 --> 00:24:05.967
- Or more, you'll receive this
- 00:24:06.034 --> 00:24:06.535
- You'll receive this "battlefield of the mind"
- 00:24:06.601 --> 00:24:07.369
- "battlefield of the mind" tote bag filled with joyce's
- 00:24:07.435 --> 00:24:09.004
- Tote bag filled with joyce's devotional and her book,
- 00:24:09.070 --> 00:24:10.372
- Devotional and her book, "how to talk
- 00:24:10.438 --> 00:24:11.339
- "how to talk with god," along with
- 00:24:11.406 --> 00:24:12.440
- With god," along with the "everyday life bible"
- 00:24:12.507 --> 00:24:13.542
- The "everyday life bible" and a couple other
- 00:24:13.608 --> 00:24:14.576
- And a couple other fun surprises.
- 00:24:14.643 --> 00:24:15.677
- Fun surprises. call us today at...
- 00:24:15.744 --> 00:24:19.347
- Call us today at... or visit us online at:
- 00:24:19.414 --> 00:24:20.649
- Or visit us online at: joycemeyer.org
- 00:24:20.715 --> 00:24:21.716
- Joycemeyer.org to get your
- 00:24:21.783 --> 00:24:22.350
- To get your devotional and begin
- 00:24:22.417 --> 00:24:23.785
- Devotional and begin every day god's way.
- 00:24:23.852 --> 00:24:25.720
- Every day god's way. >> joyce: every day
- 00:24:25.787 --> 00:24:26.388
- >> joyce: every day is a new day to grow,
- 00:24:26.454 --> 00:24:28.056
- Is a new day to grow, to trust in god,
- 00:24:28.123 --> 00:24:29.090
- To trust in god, and to walk in peace.
- 00:24:29.157 --> 00:24:30.792
- And to walk in peace. "beginning your day
- 00:24:30.859 --> 00:24:31.660
- "beginning your day god's way" is a devotional
- 00:24:31.726 --> 00:24:33.361
- God's way" is a devotional to help you align
- 00:24:33.428 --> 00:24:34.195
- To help you align your thoughts
- 00:24:34.262 --> 00:24:34.829
- Your thoughts and emotions
- 00:24:34.896 --> 00:24:35.530
- And emotions with the truth
- 00:24:35.597 --> 00:24:36.431
- With the truth of god's word before
- 00:24:36.498 --> 00:24:37.732
- Of god's word before the day even begins.
- 00:24:37.799 --> 00:24:39.734
- The day even begins. you'll be able to face
- 00:24:39.801 --> 00:24:40.669
- You'll be able to face whatever the day
- 00:24:40.735 --> 00:24:41.536
- Whatever the day holds with
- 00:24:41.603 --> 00:24:42.170
- Holds with confidence and joy.
- 00:24:42.237 --> 00:24:43.438
- Confidence and joy. you can begin each
- 00:24:43.505 --> 00:24:44.573
- You can begin each day the right way.
- 00:24:44.639 --> 00:24:46.575
- Day the right way. and remember,
- 00:24:46.641 --> 00:24:47.442
- And remember, your gift,
- 00:24:47.509 --> 00:24:48.076
- Your gift, along with gifts
- 00:24:48.143 --> 00:24:48.877
- Along with gifts from the partners
- 00:24:48.944 --> 00:24:49.611
- From the partners of joyce meyer ministries,
- 00:24:49.678 --> 00:24:51.179
- Of joyce meyer ministries, are making a difference
- 00:24:51.246 --> 00:24:52.380
- Are making a difference around the world,
- 00:24:52.447 --> 00:24:53.081
- Around the world, by helping to share christ,
- 00:24:53.148 --> 00:24:54.916
- By helping to share christ, provide food and medical
- 00:24:54.983 --> 00:24:56.384
- Provide food and medical care to those in need,
- 00:24:56.451 --> 00:24:58.253
- Care to those in need, and so much more.
- 00:24:58.320 --> 00:24:59.721
- And so much more. "beginning your
- 00:24:59.788 --> 00:25:00.388
- "beginning your day god's way"
- 00:25:00.455 --> 00:25:01.022
- Day god's way" devotional helps
- 00:25:01.089 --> 00:25:02.223
- Devotional helps you focus, grow,
- 00:25:02.290 --> 00:25:03.692
- You focus, grow, and walk in peace
- 00:25:03.758 --> 00:25:04.759
- And walk in peace one day at a time.
- 00:25:04.826 --> 00:25:06.294
- One day at a time. and you can receive it for
- 00:25:06.361 --> 00:25:07.195
- And you can receive it for your gift of any amount.
- 00:25:07.262 --> 00:25:09.230
- Your gift of any amount. when you give...
- 00:25:09.297 --> 00:25:09.864
- When you give... or more,
- 00:25:09.931 --> 00:25:11.299
- Or more, you'll receive this
- 00:25:11.366 --> 00:25:12.334
- You'll receive this "battlefield of the mind"
- 00:25:12.400 --> 00:25:13.134
- "battlefield of the mind" tote bag filled
- 00:25:13.201 --> 00:25:13.802
- Tote bag filled with joyce's devotional
- 00:25:13.868 --> 00:25:15.070
- With joyce's devotional and her book,
- 00:25:15.136 --> 00:25:16.304
- And her book, "how to talk with god,"
- 00:25:16.371 --> 00:25:17.405
- "how to talk with god," along with the "everyday
- 00:25:17.472 --> 00:25:19.074
- Along with the "everyday life bible" and a couple
- 00:25:19.140 --> 00:25:19.908
- Life bible" and a couple other fun surprises.
- 00:25:19.975 --> 00:25:21.910
- Other fun surprises. call us today at...
- 00:25:21.977 --> 00:25:25.280
- Call us today at... or visit us online at:
- 00:25:25.347 --> 00:25:26.815
- Or visit us online at: joycemeyer.org
- 00:25:26.881 --> 00:25:27.916
- Joycemeyer.org to get your devotional
- 00:25:27.983 --> 00:25:28.850
- To get your devotional and watch how
- 00:25:28.917 --> 00:25:29.718
- And watch how everything else begins
- 00:25:29.784 --> 00:25:30.885
- Everything else begins to fall into place.
- 00:25:30.952 --> 00:25:33.722
- >> joyce: well, rejection
- 00:25:34.723 --> 00:25:35.657
- >> joyce: well, rejection is definitely painful.
- 00:25:35.724 --> 00:25:37.192
- Is definitely painful. it's something we've all
- 00:25:37.258 --> 00:25:38.026
- It's something we've all endured in one way or another.
- 00:25:38.093 --> 00:25:39.961
- Endured in one way or another. >> ginger: our experiences
- 00:25:40.028 --> 00:25:40.929
- >> ginger: our experiences may be different,
- 00:25:40.996 --> 00:25:41.763
- May be different, but the damage is very real.
- 00:25:41.830 --> 00:25:43.865
- But the damage is very real. whether it comes from
- 00:25:43.932 --> 00:25:45.266
- Whether it comes from a stranger, a friend,
- 00:25:45.333 --> 00:25:46.101
- A stranger, a friend, or someone we love,
- 00:25:46.167 --> 00:25:47.102
- Or someone we love, rejection leaves us feeling
- 00:25:47.168 --> 00:25:48.903
- Rejection leaves us feeling unwanted and wounded.
- 00:25:48.970 --> 00:25:51.006
- Unwanted and wounded. >> joyce: we both know how
- 00:25:51.072 --> 00:25:51.973
- >> joyce: we both know how devastating rejection can be.
- 00:25:52.040 --> 00:25:53.775
- Devastating rejection can be. the good news is
- 00:25:53.842 --> 00:25:54.909
- The good news is healing is possible.
- 00:25:54.976 --> 00:25:56.745
- Healing is possible. >> ginger: m-hmm.
- 00:25:56.811 --> 00:25:57.545
- >> ginger: m-hmm. >> joyce: that's why i invited
- 00:25:57.612 --> 00:25:58.413
- >> joyce: that's why i invited ginger to write
- 00:25:58.480 --> 00:25:59.214
- Ginger to write a very important
- 00:25:59.280 --> 00:25:59.781
- A very important book with me,
- 00:25:59.848 --> 00:26:00.281
- Book with me, "healing the wounds
- 00:26:00.348 --> 00:26:01.149
- "healing the wounds of rejection."
- 00:26:01.216 --> 00:26:02.283
- Of rejection." i believe now is the time
- 00:26:02.350 --> 00:26:03.618
- I believe now is the time to overcome those
- 00:26:03.685 --> 00:26:04.486
- To overcome those wounds and embrace
- 00:26:04.552 --> 00:26:05.453
- Wounds and embrace our true identity in christ.
- 00:26:05.520 --> 00:26:07.188
- Our true identity in christ. >> ginger: you may not
- 00:26:07.255 --> 00:26:08.123
- >> ginger: you may not even realize the effects
- 00:26:08.189 --> 00:26:09.524
- Even realize the effects of rejection on your life.
- 00:26:09.591 --> 00:26:10.659
- Of rejection on your life. i know i didn't for a time.
- 00:26:10.725 --> 00:26:12.060
- I know i didn't for a time. but you don't have
- 00:26:12.127 --> 00:26:13.094
- But you don't have to remain stuck
- 00:26:13.161 --> 00:26:14.229
- To remain stuck in the past or let what
- 00:26:14.295 --> 00:26:15.397
- In the past or let what others have done
- 00:26:15.463 --> 00:26:16.498
- Others have done define your worth.
- 00:26:16.564 --> 00:26:18.033
- Define your worth. >> joyce: in our book,
- 00:26:18.099 --> 00:26:18.900
- >> joyce: in our book, we share the truths that
- 00:26:18.967 --> 00:26:20.335
- We share the truths that have helped both of us,
- 00:26:20.402 --> 00:26:21.636
- And the things that
- 00:26:22.037 --> 00:26:22.637
- And the things that we went through.
- 00:26:22.704 --> 00:26:23.171
- We went through. >> ginger: and together,
- 00:26:23.238 --> 00:26:23.972
- >> ginger: and together, we can all move
- 00:26:24.039 --> 00:26:24.773
- We can all move forward with strength
- 00:26:24.839 --> 00:26:25.707
- Forward with strength and confidence.
- 00:26:25.774 --> 00:26:27.509
- And confidence. >> announcer: "healing
- 00:26:27.575 --> 00:26:28.076
- >> announcer: "healing the wounds of rejection"
- 00:26:28.143 --> 00:26:28.677
- The wounds of rejection" by joyce meyer
- 00:26:28.743 --> 00:26:29.544
- By joyce meyer and ginger stache,
- 00:26:29.611 --> 00:26:30.779
- And ginger stache, request your copy today.
- 00:26:30.845 --> 00:26:32.280
- >> ginger: real life.
- 00:26:32.814 --> 00:26:33.848
- >> ginger: real life. real friends.
- 00:26:33.915 --> 00:26:35.016
- Real friends. no pretense.
- 00:26:35.083 --> 00:26:36.518
- No pretense. joyce meyer's
- 00:26:36.584 --> 00:26:37.318
- Joyce meyer's talk it out podcast.
- 00:26:37.385 --> 00:26:39.387
- Talk it out podcast. join joyce, erin cluley,
- 00:26:39.454 --> 00:26:41.289
- Join joyce, erin cluley, and me, ginger stache,
- 00:26:41.356 --> 00:26:43.158
- And me, ginger stache, along with some amazing friends,
- 00:26:43.224 --> 00:26:45.360
- Along with some amazing friends, as we honestly share
- 00:26:45.427 --> 00:26:46.661
- As we honestly share the hard stuff,
- 00:26:46.728 --> 00:26:47.495
- The hard stuff, laugh through those
- 00:26:47.562 --> 00:26:48.563
- Laugh through those unpredictable moments,
- 00:26:48.630 --> 00:26:50.331
- Unpredictable moments, and learn to apply what
- 00:26:50.398 --> 00:26:51.666
- And learn to apply what god says about it all.
- 00:26:51.733 --> 00:26:53.735
- God says about it all. watch or listen to new
- 00:26:53.802 --> 00:26:54.469
- Watch or listen to new episodes every other tuesday,
- 00:26:54.536 --> 00:26:56.471
- Episodes every other tuesday, wherever you get your podcast.
- 00:26:56.538 --> 00:26:58.273
- >> [♪♪]
- 00:27:02.577 --> 00:27:07.949
- >> announcer: we hope you
- 00:27:10.151 --> 00:27:10.919
- >> announcer: we hope you enjoyed today's program.
- 00:27:10.985 --> 00:27:14.189
- Enjoyed today's program. we are so grateful
- 00:27:14.255 --> 00:27:15.390
- We are so grateful to our joyce meyer
- 00:27:15.457 --> 00:27:16.424
- To our joyce meyer ministries partners
- 00:27:16.491 --> 00:27:17.492
- Ministries partners who make this
- 00:27:17.559 --> 00:27:18.293
- Who make this and all we do possible,
- 00:27:18.359 --> 00:27:19.794
- And all we do possible, including sharing
- 00:27:19.861 --> 00:27:20.795
- Including sharing god's word
- 00:27:20.862 --> 00:27:21.796
- God's word and offering help
- 00:27:21.863 --> 00:27:22.997
- And offering help to people in need
- 00:27:23.064 --> 00:27:24.299
- To people in need all over the world.
- 00:27:24.365 --> 00:27:28.136