Joyce Meyer - Rejection Hurts

May 27, 2026 | 27:29

What kind of rejection have you faced? Join Joyce, Ginger, Erin & special guest Lysa TerKeurst for a discussion on hope, healing, and truth about your priceless worth in Christ.

#Rejection #Hurting #Relationships #Peopleinyourlife #Healing #Pain #Suffering #Trauma #WalkwithGod #Trials-HardTimes #Enemy #Fear #Insecurity #PersonalStory #Testimony #Persecution #Father #Husband #JoyceMeyer #LysaTerKeurst

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Joyce Meyer: Enjoying Everyday Life | Joyce Meyer - Rejection Hurts | May 27, 2026

>> lysa: sometimes rejection
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>> lysa: sometimes rejection is a whole lot less about you
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>> lysa: sometimes rejection is a whole lot less about you and a whole lot more about
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Is a whole lot less about you and a whole lot more about whatever's going on inside
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And a whole lot more about whatever's going on inside of the person who rejects you.
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>> joyce: i do what
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>> joyce: i do what i do because i've seen god's
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>> joyce: i do what i do because i've seen god's power transform my own life,
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I do because i've seen god's power transform my own life, and he will do it for you.
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Power transform my own life, and he will do it for you. the key to everything
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And he will do it for you. the key to everything is found in god's word.
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The key to everything is found in god's word. i'm joyce meyer,
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Is found in god's word. i'm joyce meyer, and i believe that god can heal
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I'm joyce meyer, and i believe that god can heal you everywhere you hurt.
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>> ginger: hi friends.
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>> ginger: hi friends. welcome to "enjoying
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>> ginger: hi friends. welcome to "enjoying everyday life."
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Welcome to "enjoying everyday life." we're so happy
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Everyday life." we're so happy that you're with us.
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We're so happy that you're with us. for a couple of weeks,
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That you're with us. for a couple of weeks, we've been focusing
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For a couple of weeks, we've been focusing on healing after rejection.
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We've been focusing on healing after rejection. today we continue with
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A guest that you will adore.
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A guest that you will adore. lysa terkeurst says her father
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A guest that you will adore. lysa terkeurst says her father told her repeatedly
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Lysa terkeurst says her father told her repeatedly that he never wanted
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Told her repeatedly that he never wanted to have children,
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That he never wanted to have children, and especially not a girl.
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To have children, and especially not a girl. and amazingly,
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And especially not a girl. and amazingly, that is not the hardest
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And amazingly, that is not the hardest rejection she's faced.
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That is not the hardest rejection she's faced. there is so much
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Rejection she's faced. there is so much to learn together.
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There is so much to learn together. so, here we go.
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>> ginger: well, we have been
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>> ginger: well, we have been talking about the pain
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>> ginger: well, we have been talking about the pain of rejection and how
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Talking about the pain of rejection and how everyone faces it.
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Of rejection and how everyone faces it. but the thing that keeps
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Everyone faces it. but the thing that keeps us talking about this
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But the thing that keeps us talking about this is the fact that there
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Us talking about this is the fact that there is healing from those wounds.
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Is the fact that there is healing from those wounds. >> joyce: yes.
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Is healing from those wounds. >> joyce: yes. >> ginger: that god understands,
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>> joyce: yes. >> ginger: that god understands, and he loves us so much
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>> ginger: that god understands, and he loves us so much and he cries with
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And he loves us so much and he cries with us when we cry.
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And he cries with us when we cry. and he's right there to say,
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Us when we cry. and he's right there to say, "child, not only i'm sorry,
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And he's right there to say, "child, not only i'm sorry, but i have this gift for you
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"child, not only i'm sorry, but i have this gift for you as you've walked through this."
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But i have this gift for you as you've walked through this." and so, with rejection,
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As you've walked through this." and so, with rejection, i'd love to define
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And so, with rejection, i'd love to define it a little bit as we do this.
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I'd love to define it a little bit as we do this. because we've talked about
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It a little bit as we do this. because we've talked about some of our experiences,
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Because we've talked about some of our experiences, and we have many more
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Some of our experiences, and we have many more experiences to share about this.
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And we have many more experiences to share about this. but when you talk
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Experiences to share about this. but when you talk about what rejection is,
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But when you talk about what rejection is, it can come in so many
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Different forms.
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Different forms. it slips into our lives from
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Different forms. it slips into our lives from so many different angles.
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It slips into our lives from so many different angles. so, how would you guys
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So many different angles. so, how would you guys define what rejection
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So, how would you guys define what rejection has been in your life?
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Define what rejection has been in your life? or how would you describe it?
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Has been in your life? or how would you describe it? >> joyce: "to be unwanted,
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Or how would you describe it? >> joyce: "to be unwanted, to be looked
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>> joyce: "to be unwanted, to be looked at as having no value,
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To be looked at as having no value, to be looked at as trash,
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At as having no value, to be looked at as trash, to be thrown away."
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To be looked at as trash, to be thrown away." everybody wants to be accepted
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To be thrown away." everybody wants to be accepted because god has created
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Everybody wants to be accepted because god has created us for acceptance.
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Because god has created us for acceptance. he didn't create
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Us for acceptance. he didn't create us for rejection.
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He didn't create us for rejection. and so, i believe that along
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Us for rejection. and so, i believe that along with unforgiveness,
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And so, i believe that along with unforgiveness, that rejection is one
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With unforgiveness, that rejection is one of the biggest tools that
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That rejection is one of the biggest tools that the enemy uses to keep
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Of the biggest tools that the enemy uses to keep us from the promotions
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The enemy uses to keep us from the promotions that god has for us.
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Us from the promotions that god has for us. >> erin: that's so true.
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That god has for us. >> erin: that's so true. >> joyce: and i experienced
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>> erin: that's so true. >> joyce: and i experienced that on a personal level.
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>> joyce: and i experienced that on a personal level. as i look back at my life,
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That on a personal level. as i look back at my life, i can see where at every major
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As i look back at my life, i can see where at every major junction where god was ready
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I can see where at every major junction where god was ready to promote me to the next
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Junction where god was ready to promote me to the next level of my ministry--
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To promote me to the next level of my ministry-- because i taught home
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Level of my ministry-- because i taught home bible studies for five years,
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Because i taught home bible studies for five years, and then i worked
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Bible studies for five years, and then i worked at a church for five years
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And then i worked at a church for five years and then started
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At a church for five years and then started the joyce meyer ministries.
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And then started the joyce meyer ministries. and every time right during
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The joyce meyer ministries. and every time right during that transition when god
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And every time right during that transition when god was trying to get me to make
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That transition when god was trying to get me to make the decision, you know, to go,
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Was trying to get me to make the decision, you know, to go, i would have a major
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The decision, you know, to go, i would have a major attack of rejection
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I would have a major attack of rejection on this level.
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>> ginger: yeah,
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>> ginger: yeah, i felt like rejection--
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>> ginger: yeah, i felt like rejection-- and this is not
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I felt like rejection-- and this is not an actual definition,
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And this is not an actual definition, but it's what it feels like--
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An actual definition, but it's what it feels like-- "it's when the devil uses
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But it's what it feels like-- "it's when the devil uses somebody else to confirm
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"it's when the devil uses somebody else to confirm those secret suspicions
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That you have about yourself."
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That you have about yourself." >> erin: that's so good.
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That you have about yourself." >> erin: that's so good. i agree with that.
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>> erin: that's so good. i agree with that. >> ginger: that "you're
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I agree with that. >> ginger: that "you're not good enough."
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>> ginger: that "you're not good enough." like you were saying, joyce,
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Not good enough." like you were saying, joyce, that "you're unwanted,"
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Like you were saying, joyce, that "you're unwanted," that "you are not
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That "you're unwanted," that "you are not going to succeed."
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That "you are not going to succeed." that all of those things,
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Going to succeed." that all of those things, it's like somehow,
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That all of those things, it's like somehow, they know exactly
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It's like somehow, they know exactly what needs to be said.
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They know exactly what needs to be said. and it's because, you know,
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What needs to be said. and it's because, you know, satan just uses that to sink
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And it's because, you know, satan just uses that to sink into our spirit and say,
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Satan just uses that to sink into our spirit and say, "oh, you know, i thought that
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Into our spirit and say, "oh, you know, i thought that and now i have proof."
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"oh, you know, i thought that and now i have proof." >> erin: in areas that you
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And now i have proof." >> erin: in areas that you are already insecure in.
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>> erin: in areas that you are already insecure in. >> ginger: exactly.
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Are already insecure in. >> ginger: exactly. >> erin: that feeds that lie.
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>> ginger: exactly. >> erin: that feeds that lie. that's so good.
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>> erin: that feeds that lie. that's so good. >> lysa: yeah, and i would
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That's so good. >> lysa: yeah, and i would say mine's very similar.
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It's like, as a child,
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It's like, as a child, there were lines that were
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It's like, as a child, there were lines that were spoken over me that then
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There were lines that were spoken over me that then became lies that i believed
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Spoken over me that then became lies that i believed about myself and about
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Became lies that i believed about myself and about the world and about god
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About myself and about the world and about god and about other people.
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The world and about god and about other people. so, the lines spoken
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Over me became lies,
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Over me became lies, and then those lies became
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Over me became lies, and then those lies became labels that put great
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And then those lies became labels that put great limitations--that i put great
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Labels that put great limitations--that i put great limitations on my life
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Limitations--that i put great limitations on my life because of these labels.
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Limitations on my life because of these labels. and then those became
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Because of these labels. and then those became liabilities in all my future
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And then those became liabilities in all my future relationships.
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Liabilities in all my future relationships. and so, for me,
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Relationships. and so, for me, rejection was where,
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And so, for me, rejection was where, in my mind, i would diminish
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Rejection was where, in my mind, i would diminish the best of who i am
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In my mind, i would diminish the best of who i am because of the worst
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The best of who i am because of the worst of what's been said to me.
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Because of the worst of what's been said to me. >> ginger: oh, that's a great
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Of what's been said to me. >> ginger: oh, that's a great way to describe it.
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>> ginger: oh, that's a great way to describe it. and it hurts so much...
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Way to describe it. and it hurts so much... >> lysa: so much.
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And it hurts so much... >> lysa: so much. >> ginger: when that happens.
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>> lysa: so much. >> ginger: when that happens. >> erin: yeah, because you
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>> ginger: when that happens. >> erin: yeah, because you kind of shrink down.
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>> erin: yeah, because you kind of shrink down. that is really interesting.
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Kind of shrink down. that is really interesting. i haven't thought
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That is really interesting. i haven't thought about that before.
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But you do, when you
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But you do, when you feel rejected or someone
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But you do, when you feel rejected or someone has said something about you,
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Feel rejected or someone has said something about you, it does internally
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Has said something about you, it does internally cause me to feel like,
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It does internally cause me to feel like, "well, i am not enough,
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Cause me to feel like, "well, i am not enough, like i thought."
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"well, i am not enough, like i thought." and just you can feel yourself
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Like i thought." and just you can feel yourself becoming smaller.
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And just you can feel yourself becoming smaller. >> lysa: and fear plays
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Becoming smaller. >> lysa: and fear plays a great part in that too.
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>> lysa: and fear plays a great part in that too. because then i become
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A great part in that too. because then i become afraid to risk something.
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Because then i become afraid to risk something. like you said, risk stepping out
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Afraid to risk something. like you said, risk stepping out in a greater aspect of ministry,
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Like you said, risk stepping out in a greater aspect of ministry, or risk a new relationship.
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In a greater aspect of ministry, or risk a new relationship. because every relationship
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Or risk a new relationship. because every relationship requires risk.
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Because every relationship requires risk. every human interaction
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Requires risk. every human interaction has a little bit of risk in it.
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Every human interaction has a little bit of risk in it. and so, if the threat
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Has a little bit of risk in it. and so, if the threat of rejection, whether it's real
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And so, if the threat of rejection, whether it's real or perceived in our mind,
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Of rejection, whether it's real or perceived in our mind, the fear of that can make
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Or perceived in our mind, the fear of that can make us back off and just
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The fear of that can make us back off and just not wanna step out.
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Us back off and just not wanna step out. >> joyce: i think it can also
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Not wanna step out. >> joyce: i think it can also cause us to develop
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>> joyce: i think it can also cause us to develop a false personality.
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Cause us to develop a false personality. you know,
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A false personality. you know, we're afraid to let people
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You know, we're afraid to let people see who we really are.
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We're afraid to let people see who we really are. >> ginger: like a mask.
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See who we really are. >> ginger: like a mask. >> joyce: we think we're bad.
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>> ginger: like a mask. >> joyce: we think we're bad. and so, we try to be what
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>> joyce: we think we're bad. and so, we try to be what we think they want us to be.
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And so, we try to be what we think they want us to be. and it's not really who we are.
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And so, we're miserable.
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And so, we're miserable. and, you know, it's not
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And so, we're miserable. and, you know, it's not god's will for us to do that.
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And, you know, it's not god's will for us to do that. >> ginger: and the thing
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God's will for us to do that. >> ginger: and the thing about that is people can
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>> ginger: and the thing about that is people can see right through it.
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About that is people can see right through it. we think they can't.
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See right through it. we think they can't. we think we're fooling everyone
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We think they can't. we think we're fooling everyone by putting up this facade
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We think we're fooling everyone by putting up this facade of who we think they want.
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By putting up this facade of who we think they want. >> joyce: and they may
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Of who we think they want. >> joyce: and they may not know what it is,
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>> joyce: and they may not know what it is, but they know something is not
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Not know what it is, but they know something is not right about the relationship.
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But they know something is not right about the relationship. >> ginger: exactly, exactly.
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Right about the relationship. >> ginger: exactly, exactly. and then that just opens
00:06:07.723 --> 00:06:08.791
>> ginger: exactly, exactly. and then that just opens us up to more rejection.
00:06:08.858 --> 00:06:10.126
And then that just opens us up to more rejection. >> joyce: right.
00:06:10.193 --> 00:06:10.693
Us up to more rejection. >> joyce: right. >> ginger: so, it really
00:06:10.760 --> 00:06:11.461
>> joyce: right. >> ginger: so, it really is kind of not only
00:06:11.527 --> 00:06:12.528
>> ginger: so, it really is kind of not only self-fulfilling prophecy,
00:06:12.595 --> 00:06:15.465
Is kind of not only self-fulfilling prophecy, but it's a snowball that just
00:06:15.531 --> 00:06:16.666
Self-fulfilling prophecy, but it's a snowball that just gets bigger and bigger
00:06:16.732 --> 00:06:18.000
But it's a snowball that just gets bigger and bigger as you continue to roll
00:06:18.067 --> 00:06:19.669
Gets bigger and bigger as you continue to roll down the hill with it.
00:06:19.735 --> 00:06:20.970
As you continue to roll down the hill with it. >> joyce: and if you're
00:06:21.037 --> 00:06:21.771
Down the hill with it. >> joyce: and if you're rooted in rejection,
00:06:21.838 --> 00:06:22.438
>> joyce: and if you're rooted in rejection, which means it got started
00:06:22.505 --> 00:06:23.506
Rooted in rejection, which means it got started early in your life,
00:06:23.573 --> 00:06:25.174
Which means it got started early in your life, sometimes that has so many
00:06:25.241 --> 00:06:27.276
Early in your life, sometimes that has so many tentacles and they go in so many
00:06:27.343 --> 00:06:29.479
Sometimes that has so many tentacles and they go in so many different directions that you
00:06:29.545 --> 00:06:31.581
Tentacles and they go in so many different directions that you can have all kinds of problems
00:06:31.647 --> 00:06:32.882
Different directions that you can have all kinds of problems and you don't even realize
00:06:32.949 --> 00:06:34.884
Can have all kinds of problems and you don't even realize what they're coming from.
00:06:34.951 --> 00:06:36.185
And you don't even realize what they're coming from. >> ginger: so, lysa,
00:06:36.252 --> 00:06:37.353
What they're coming from. >> ginger: so, lysa, help us with a little bit
00:06:37.420 --> 00:06:39.722
>> ginger: so, lysa, help us with a little bit of what you've experienced.
00:06:39.789 --> 00:06:41.524
Help us with a little bit of what you've experienced. because like joyce
00:06:41.591 --> 00:06:43.826
Of what you've experienced. because like joyce was talking about,
00:06:43.893 --> 00:06:44.894
Because like joyce was talking about, you also felt some
00:06:44.961 --> 00:06:45.828
Was talking about, you also felt some rejection from your own father.
00:06:45.895 --> 00:06:47.597
You also felt some rejection from your own father. is that right?
00:06:47.663 --> 00:06:48.498
Rejection from your own father. is that right? >> lysa: that's right,
00:06:48.564 --> 00:06:49.232
Is that right? >> lysa: that's right, yes.
00:06:49.298 --> 00:06:50.600
>> lysa: that's right, yes. he never wanted children;
00:06:50.666 --> 00:06:52.869
Yes. he never wanted children; was pretty vocal about that.
00:06:52.935 --> 00:06:56.072
He never wanted children; was pretty vocal about that. and who knows,
00:06:56.138 --> 00:06:57.406
Was pretty vocal about that. and who knows, maybe as a child i only heard
00:06:57.473 --> 00:06:58.674
And who knows, maybe as a child i only heard him say it a handful of times.
00:06:58.741 --> 00:07:00.176
Maybe as a child i only heard him say it a handful of times. but in my mind,
00:07:00.243 --> 00:07:01.277
Him say it a handful of times. but in my mind, it is the memory that i have
00:07:01.344 --> 00:07:03.913
But in my mind, it is the memory that i have of my dad as a childhood--
00:07:03.980 --> 00:07:05.448
It is the memory that i have of my dad as a childhood-- just being very stern about
00:07:05.515 --> 00:07:07.283
Of my dad as a childhood-- just being very stern about how he never wanted children,
00:07:07.350 --> 00:07:08.351
Just being very stern about how he never wanted children, especially not a girl.
00:07:08.417 --> 00:07:10.453
How he never wanted children, especially not a girl. >> ginger: oh my.
00:07:10.520 --> 00:07:11.087
Especially not a girl. >> ginger: oh my. >> lysa: and you know,
00:07:11.153 --> 00:07:11.854
>> ginger: oh my. >> lysa: and you know, sometimes--
00:07:11.921 --> 00:07:12.188
>> lysa: and you know, sometimes-- >> ginger: that's so hurtful.
00:07:12.255 --> 00:07:12.922
Sometimes-- >> ginger: that's so hurtful. >> lysa: it is.
00:07:12.989 --> 00:07:13.956
>> ginger: that's so hurtful. >> lysa: it is. and sometimes, you know,
00:07:14.023 --> 00:07:15.525
>> lysa: it is. and sometimes, you know, when you hear something like
00:07:15.591 --> 00:07:16.692
And sometimes, you know, when you hear something like that as a child from someone
00:07:16.759 --> 00:07:19.095
When you hear something like that as a child from someone that you respect especially,
00:07:19.161 --> 00:07:20.696
That as a child from someone that you respect especially, it can feel like that
00:07:20.763 --> 00:07:22.932
That you respect especially, it can feel like that is the truth about me.
00:07:22.999 --> 00:07:24.734
It can feel like that is the truth about me. like that "i'm unwanted."
00:07:24.800 --> 00:07:27.136
Is the truth about me. like that "i'm unwanted." and i developed this shame
00:07:27.203 --> 00:07:29.438
Like that "i'm unwanted." and i developed this shame script in my mind that
00:07:29.505 --> 00:07:30.973
And i developed this shame script in my mind that even to this day--
00:07:31.040 --> 00:07:32.475
Script in my mind that even to this day-- i've gotten so much healing
00:07:32.542 --> 00:07:33.709
Even to this day-- i've gotten so much healing and so much freedom.
00:07:33.776 --> 00:07:34.610
I've gotten so much healing and so much freedom. but even to this day,
00:07:34.677 --> 00:07:36.712
And so much freedom. but even to this day, if i'm not careful,
00:07:36.779 --> 00:07:37.914
But even to this day, if i'm not careful, i can catch myself
00:07:37.980 --> 00:07:39.315
If i'm not careful, i can catch myself navigating things,
00:07:39.382 --> 00:07:40.850
I can catch myself navigating things, because that same old
00:07:40.917 --> 00:07:42.151
Navigating things, because that same old shame script every now
00:07:42.218 --> 00:07:43.386
Because that same old shame script every now and then will just, like,
00:07:43.452 --> 00:07:44.754
Shame script every now and then will just, like, reappear in my mind
00:07:44.820 --> 00:07:46.489
And then will just, like, reappear in my mind without me even knowing it.
00:07:46.556 --> 00:07:48.024
Reappear in my mind without me even knowing it. and that is, "lysa, be careful.
00:07:48.090 --> 00:07:51.093
Without me even knowing it. and that is, "lysa, be careful. be careful not to depend too
00:07:51.160 --> 00:07:53.262
And that is, "lysa, be careful. be careful not to depend too much on other people,
00:07:53.329 --> 00:07:54.363
Be careful not to depend too much on other people, cause they'll let you down.
00:07:54.430 --> 00:07:55.998
Much on other people, cause they'll let you down. and also, they'll start
00:07:56.065 --> 00:07:57.300
Cause they'll let you down. and also, they'll start to see you as a terrible
00:07:57.366 --> 00:07:59.168
And also, they'll start to see you as a terrible inconvenience."
00:07:59.235 --> 00:08:00.069
To see you as a terrible inconvenience." and if i'm not--
00:08:00.136 --> 00:08:02.004
Inconvenience." and if i'm not-- if i am not really thinking
00:08:02.071 --> 00:08:04.006
And if i'm not-- if i am not really thinking through some of the thoughts
00:08:04.073 --> 00:08:06.709
If i am not really thinking through some of the thoughts that run like a ticker tape
00:08:06.776 --> 00:08:08.144
Through some of the thoughts that run like a ticker tape behind the scenes in my mind,
00:08:08.210 --> 00:08:10.446
That run like a ticker tape behind the scenes in my mind, i can find that that thought
00:08:10.513 --> 00:08:13.683
Behind the scenes in my mind, i can find that that thought is causing me then to navigate
00:08:13.749 --> 00:08:16.085
I can find that that thought is causing me then to navigate certain relationships in ways
00:08:16.152 --> 00:08:17.787
Is causing me then to navigate certain relationships in ways that i probably wouldn't
00:08:17.853 --> 00:08:19.055
Certain relationships in ways that i probably wouldn't if i wasn't so concerned.
00:08:19.121 --> 00:08:21.023
That i probably wouldn't if i wasn't so concerned. like, i'm real hesitant
00:08:21.090 --> 00:08:22.024
If i wasn't so concerned. like, i'm real hesitant sometimes to have people,
00:08:22.091 --> 00:08:24.360
Like, i'm real hesitant sometimes to have people, when they offer to do something,
00:08:24.427 --> 00:08:25.795
Sometimes to have people, when they offer to do something, i'm real hesitant
00:08:25.861 --> 00:08:26.862
When they offer to do something, i'm real hesitant to accept help,
00:08:26.929 --> 00:08:28.164
I'm real hesitant to accept help, to accept their help, you know,
00:08:28.230 --> 00:08:30.199
To accept help, to accept their help, you know, because i just think,
00:08:30.266 --> 00:08:31.233
To accept their help, you know, because i just think, "don't inconvenience them.
00:08:31.300 --> 00:08:31.968
Because i just think, "don't inconvenience them. don't inconvenience them.
00:08:32.034 --> 00:08:32.802
"don't inconvenience them. don't inconvenience them. 'cause if you do,
00:08:32.868 --> 00:08:34.537
Don't inconvenience them. 'cause if you do, then eventually
00:08:34.604 --> 00:08:35.605
'cause if you do, then eventually they're gonna get tired of you
00:08:35.671 --> 00:08:36.739
Then eventually they're gonna get tired of you and they're gonna reject you."
00:08:36.806 --> 00:08:38.240
They're gonna get tired of you and they're gonna reject you." and it's just amazing how
00:08:38.307 --> 00:08:40.242
And they're gonna reject you." and it's just amazing how subtle this is and how it can
00:08:40.309 --> 00:08:42.712
And it's just amazing how subtle this is and how it can creep back into your life.
00:08:42.778 --> 00:08:43.946
Subtle this is and how it can creep back into your life. but the secret is,
00:08:44.013 --> 00:08:44.914
Creep back into your life. but the secret is, i'm aware of it now.
00:08:44.981 --> 00:08:46.282
But the secret is, i'm aware of it now. and i think awareness
00:08:46.349 --> 00:08:48.084
I'm aware of it now. and i think awareness is really, really key.
00:08:48.150 --> 00:08:49.685
And i think awareness is really, really key. i had to get to a place
00:08:49.752 --> 00:08:52.121
Is really, really key. i had to get to a place in my life where i needed
00:08:52.188 --> 00:08:54.890
I had to get to a place in my life where i needed to learn to live from
00:08:54.957 --> 00:08:57.193
In my life where i needed to learn to live from a place of love.
00:08:57.259 --> 00:08:58.060
To learn to live from a place of love. like, live loved.
00:08:58.127 --> 00:09:00.429
A place of love. like, live loved. and there's a big
00:09:00.496 --> 00:09:01.297
Like, live loved. and there's a big difference between that--
00:09:01.364 --> 00:09:03.633
And there's a big difference between that-- like, having the perspective
00:09:03.699 --> 00:09:05.234
Difference between that-- like, having the perspective that "i am living from a place
00:09:05.301 --> 00:09:07.036
Like, having the perspective that "i am living from a place of love and acceptance
00:09:07.103 --> 00:09:08.104
That "i am living from a place of love and acceptance because god loves me.
00:09:08.170 --> 00:09:09.271
Of love and acceptance because god loves me. i am a child of god,
00:09:09.338 --> 00:09:10.706
Because god loves me. i am a child of god, holy and dearly loved."
00:09:10.773 --> 00:09:11.941
I am a child of god, holy and dearly loved." and living from a place
00:09:12.008 --> 00:09:13.409
Holy and dearly loved." and living from a place of that acceptance and love
00:09:13.476 --> 00:09:15.044
And living from a place of that acceptance and love is so different than living for
00:09:15.111 --> 00:09:16.479
Of that acceptance and love is so different than living for others' acceptance and love
00:09:16.545 --> 00:09:18.280
Is so different than living for others' acceptance and love and that kind of desperation
00:09:18.347 --> 00:09:20.516
Others' acceptance and love and that kind of desperation can sometimes really
00:09:20.583 --> 00:09:21.851
And that kind of desperation can sometimes really lead to degradation.
00:09:21.917 --> 00:09:23.753
Like, we'll diminish
00:09:24.387 --> 00:09:25.121
Like, we'll diminish the best of who we are,
00:09:25.187 --> 00:09:27.223
Like, we'll diminish the best of who we are, or we'll be attracted
00:09:27.289 --> 00:09:28.290
The best of who we are, or we'll be attracted to relationships that we really
00:09:28.357 --> 00:09:30.292
Or we'll be attracted to relationships that we really shouldn't be in or whatever,
00:09:30.359 --> 00:09:32.194
To relationships that we really shouldn't be in or whatever, just because we're so desperate
00:09:32.261 --> 00:09:33.429
Shouldn't be in or whatever, just because we're so desperate to have someone say,
00:09:33.496 --> 00:09:34.497
Just because we're so desperate to have someone say, "you're worthy, you're loved,
00:09:34.563 --> 00:09:36.432
To have someone say, "you're worthy, you're loved, you're accepted."
00:09:36.499 --> 00:09:37.199
"you're worthy, you're loved, you're accepted." >> ginger: oh,
00:09:37.266 --> 00:09:37.833
You're accepted." >> ginger: oh, that happens to so many,
00:09:37.900 --> 00:09:38.801
>> ginger: oh, that happens to so many, so many women, especially.
00:09:38.868 --> 00:09:40.836
That happens to so many, so many women, especially. like, "if i haven't received
00:09:40.903 --> 00:09:42.638
So many women, especially. like, "if i haven't received that acceptance,
00:09:42.705 --> 00:09:43.539
Like, "if i haven't received that acceptance, i will find it."
00:09:43.606 --> 00:09:45.341
That acceptance, i will find it." and often it's not from
00:09:45.408 --> 00:09:47.810
I will find it." and often it's not from a source that is going
00:09:47.877 --> 00:09:49.045
And often it's not from a source that is going to be good for you.
00:09:49.111 --> 00:09:49.945
And then again, you're walking
00:09:50.012 --> 00:09:52.081
And then again, you're walking down that path once again.
00:09:52.148 --> 00:09:53.349
And then again, you're walking down that path once again. >> erin: that explains a lot
00:09:53.416 --> 00:09:54.283
Down that path once again. >> erin: that explains a lot of the boys i dated in high
00:09:54.350 --> 00:09:55.317
>> erin: that explains a lot of the boys i dated in high school because i just wanted
00:09:55.384 --> 00:09:57.219
Of the boys i dated in high school because i just wanted someone tell me i was pretty
00:09:57.286 --> 00:09:58.421
School because i just wanted someone tell me i was pretty and be the one that they picked,
00:09:58.487 --> 00:10:00.189
Someone tell me i was pretty and be the one that they picked, so i would--
00:10:00.256 --> 00:10:01.057
And be the one that they picked, so i would-- now, i was smart
00:10:01.123 --> 00:10:02.491
So i would-- now, i was smart at the same time.
00:10:02.558 --> 00:10:03.659
Now, i was smart at the same time. smart as you can
00:10:03.726 --> 00:10:04.326
At the same time. smart as you can be in high school,
00:10:04.393 --> 00:10:04.960
Smart as you can be in high school, but still, like,
00:10:05.027 --> 00:10:05.861
Be in high school, but still, like, because i had the holy spirit,
00:10:05.928 --> 00:10:07.063
But still, like, because i had the holy spirit, i didn't make too
00:10:07.129 --> 00:10:07.897
Because i had the holy spirit, i didn't make too stupid of choices.
00:10:07.963 --> 00:10:08.664
I didn't make too stupid of choices. but i know i dated boys because
00:10:08.731 --> 00:10:10.700
Stupid of choices. but i know i dated boys because they made me feel good,
00:10:10.766 --> 00:10:12.034
But i know i dated boys because they made me feel good, because they told me i was
00:10:12.101 --> 00:10:13.169
They made me feel good, because they told me i was pretty and thought i was fun.
00:10:13.235 --> 00:10:14.070
Because they told me i was pretty and thought i was fun. and i just so desperately
00:10:14.136 --> 00:10:15.905
Pretty and thought i was fun. and i just so desperately wanted that.
00:10:15.971 --> 00:10:16.739
And i just so desperately wanted that. >> lysa: you wanted
00:10:16.806 --> 00:10:17.373
Wanted that. >> lysa: you wanted that validation
00:10:17.440 --> 00:10:18.040
>> lysa: you wanted that validation and that confirmation,
00:10:18.107 --> 00:10:19.108
That validation and that confirmation, that acceptance.
00:10:19.175 --> 00:10:19.842
And that confirmation, that acceptance. >> erin: absolutely, yeah.
00:10:19.909 --> 00:10:21.277
That acceptance. >> erin: absolutely, yeah. >> lysa: i think the hardest
00:10:21.343 --> 00:10:22.411
>> erin: absolutely, yeah. >> lysa: i think the hardest rejection that i've ever faced,
00:10:22.478 --> 00:10:25.881
>> lysa: i think the hardest rejection that i've ever faced, though, wasn't necessarily
00:10:25.948 --> 00:10:28.084
Rejection that i've ever faced, though, wasn't necessarily the rejection of my dad.
00:10:28.150 --> 00:10:30.720
Though, wasn't necessarily the rejection of my dad. it was the rejection
00:10:30.786 --> 00:10:31.854
The rejection of my dad. it was the rejection of my husband,
00:10:31.921 --> 00:10:33.289
It was the rejection of my husband, and he's now my ex-husband.
00:10:33.355 --> 00:10:35.691
Of my husband, and he's now my ex-husband. and it's so hard for me
00:10:35.758 --> 00:10:36.826
And he's now my ex-husband. and it's so hard for me to even say those words,
00:10:36.892 --> 00:10:37.693
And it's so hard for me to even say those words, even all these years later.
00:10:37.760 --> 00:10:39.295
To even say those words, even all these years later. it's just, like,
00:10:39.361 --> 00:10:40.162
Even all these years later. it's just, like, so unbelievable.
00:10:40.229 --> 00:10:42.765
It's just, like, so unbelievable. and, you know,
00:10:42.832 --> 00:10:44.400
So unbelievable. and, you know, the ironic thing was,
00:10:44.467 --> 00:10:45.568
And, you know, the ironic thing was, in 2014 and 2015,
00:10:45.634 --> 00:10:49.271
The ironic thing was, in 2014 and 2015, my then, husband,
00:10:49.338 --> 00:10:50.806
In 2014 and 2015, my then, husband, was living a double life.
00:10:50.873 --> 00:10:53.042
My then, husband, was living a double life. i had no idea.
00:10:53.109 --> 00:10:54.276
Was living a double life. i had no idea. no idea.
00:10:54.343 --> 00:10:55.010
I had no idea. no idea. and i wrote a book on rejection
00:10:55.077 --> 00:10:58.180
No idea. and i wrote a book on rejection during that season.
00:10:58.247 --> 00:10:59.715
And i wrote a book on rejection during that season. and i had no earthly idea
00:10:59.782 --> 00:11:01.751
During that season. and i had no earthly idea that when i was writing
00:11:01.817 --> 00:11:02.818
And i had no earthly idea that when i was writing the book on rejection,
00:11:02.885 --> 00:11:04.019
That when i was writing the book on rejection, that it would come out in 2016,
00:11:04.086 --> 00:11:06.889
The book on rejection, that it would come out in 2016, the year that i found out what
00:11:06.956 --> 00:11:09.091
That it would come out in 2016, the year that i found out what was happening with him.
00:11:09.158 --> 00:11:10.159
The year that i found out what was happening with him. >> ginger: oh,
00:11:10.226 --> 00:11:10.826
Was happening with him. >> ginger: oh, so you were writing the book
00:11:10.893 --> 00:11:13.162
>> ginger: oh, so you were writing the book and through that process,
00:11:13.229 --> 00:11:14.597
So you were writing the book and through that process, this happened?
00:11:14.663 --> 00:11:15.264
And through that process, this happened? >> lysa: yes.
00:11:15.331 --> 00:11:16.132
This happened? >> lysa: yes. and so, i was doing final
00:11:16.198 --> 00:11:18.100
>> lysa: yes. and so, i was doing final page proofs early 2016,
00:11:18.167 --> 00:11:20.569
And so, i was doing final page proofs early 2016, february 2016.
00:11:20.636 --> 00:11:21.771
Page proofs early 2016, february 2016. the book was coming
00:11:21.837 --> 00:11:22.404
February 2016. the book was coming out in the fall of 2016.
00:11:22.471 --> 00:11:24.340
The book was coming out in the fall of 2016. i was doing early page proofs,
00:11:24.406 --> 00:11:25.908
Out in the fall of 2016. i was doing early page proofs, which is like the final step
00:11:25.975 --> 00:11:27.443
I was doing early page proofs, which is like the final step before the book goes to print.
00:11:27.510 --> 00:11:29.311
Which is like the final step before the book goes to print. and i became aware that
00:11:29.378 --> 00:11:31.781
Before the book goes to print. and i became aware that my husband had been
00:11:31.847 --> 00:11:33.215
And i became aware that my husband had been having affairs.
00:11:33.282 --> 00:11:33.916
My husband had been having affairs. and i not only at that point
00:11:33.983 --> 00:11:37.620
Having affairs. and i not only at that point became so angry that i had
00:11:37.686 --> 00:11:41.757
And i not only at that point became so angry that i had written a book on rejection
00:11:41.824 --> 00:11:43.025
Became so angry that i had written a book on rejection because now i was gonna have
00:11:43.092 --> 00:11:43.926
Written a book on rejection because now i was gonna have to talk about rejection.
00:11:43.993 --> 00:11:45.761
Because now i was gonna have to talk about rejection. and i was suffering through
00:11:45.828 --> 00:11:47.730
To talk about rejection. and i was suffering through the worst rejection of my life.
00:11:47.797 --> 00:11:49.498
And i was suffering through the worst rejection of my life. but also, i just kept saying,
00:11:49.565 --> 00:11:51.033
The worst rejection of my life. but also, i just kept saying, "god, how could you let
00:11:51.100 --> 00:11:52.168
But also, i just kept saying, "god, how could you let me be in this position?"
00:11:52.234 --> 00:11:53.235
"god, how could you let me be in this position?" and i almost felt a little bit
00:11:53.302 --> 00:11:55.805
Me be in this position?" and i almost felt a little bit like maybe even betrayed by god,
00:11:55.871 --> 00:11:58.240
And i almost felt a little bit like maybe even betrayed by god, you know.
00:11:58.307 --> 00:11:58.707
Like maybe even betrayed by god, you know. >> ginger: i know i went there,
00:11:58.774 --> 00:11:59.742
You know. >> ginger: i know i went there, definitely.
00:11:59.809 --> 00:12:01.277
>> ginger: i know i went there, definitely. >> lysa: yes.
00:12:01.343 --> 00:12:01.911
Definitely. >> lysa: yes. and i'm like, "god,
00:12:01.977 --> 00:12:02.545
>> lysa: yes. and i'm like, "god, you saw what was happening.
00:12:02.611 --> 00:12:03.712
And i'm like, "god, you saw what was happening. you saw that this was happening.
00:12:03.779 --> 00:12:05.681
You saw what was happening. you saw that this was happening. you knew when i was
00:12:05.748 --> 00:12:07.016
You saw that this was happening. you knew when i was gonna find out about it.
00:12:07.082 --> 00:12:08.284
You knew when i was gonna find out about it. and now i've set myself
00:12:08.350 --> 00:12:09.518
Gonna find out about it. and now i've set myself up to publicly talk
00:12:09.585 --> 00:12:10.686
And now i've set myself up to publicly talk about rejection,
00:12:10.753 --> 00:12:12.087
Up to publicly talk about rejection, and i have no idea where
00:12:12.154 --> 00:12:13.022
About rejection, and i have no idea where my story's gonna go now."
00:12:13.088 --> 00:12:14.356
And i have no idea where my story's gonna go now." and very clearly and tenderly,
00:12:14.423 --> 00:12:17.059
My story's gonna go now." and very clearly and tenderly, the lord said,
00:12:17.126 --> 00:12:18.027
And very clearly and tenderly, the lord said, "i had you write the book
00:12:18.093 --> 00:12:19.395
The lord said, "i had you write the book last year that you would
00:12:19.461 --> 00:12:20.663
"i had you write the book last year that you would desperately need
00:12:20.729 --> 00:12:21.530
Last year that you would desperately need yourself this year.
00:12:21.597 --> 00:12:22.498
Desperately need yourself this year. the same truth that you
00:12:22.565 --> 00:12:24.300
Yourself this year. the same truth that you wrote last year--
00:12:24.366 --> 00:12:25.134
The same truth that you wrote last year-- because it wasn't my truth,
00:12:25.201 --> 00:12:26.168
Wrote last year-- because it wasn't my truth, it was god's truth.
00:12:26.235 --> 00:12:27.203
Because it wasn't my truth, it was god's truth. "the same truth you wrote
00:12:27.269 --> 00:12:28.204
It was god's truth. "the same truth you wrote last year is the very truth
00:12:28.270 --> 00:12:30.239
"the same truth you wrote last year is the very truth that you need to be saturated
00:12:30.306 --> 00:12:31.674
Last year is the very truth that you need to be saturated in this year."
00:12:31.740 --> 00:12:32.474
That you need to be saturated in this year." >> erin: he prepared you for it.
00:12:32.541 --> 00:12:33.742
In this year." >> erin: he prepared you for it. >> lysa: he did.
00:12:33.809 --> 00:12:34.410
>> erin: he prepared you for it. >> lysa: he did. he had prepared me for it.
00:12:34.476 --> 00:12:35.744
>> lysa: he did. he had prepared me for it. it still didn't make it easy,
00:12:35.811 --> 00:12:37.079
He had prepared me for it. it still didn't make it easy, but that's where
00:12:37.146 --> 00:12:39.348
It still didn't make it easy, but that's where the rubber meets the road.
00:12:39.415 --> 00:12:40.449
But that's where the rubber meets the road. as a writer, as a teacher,
00:12:40.516 --> 00:12:42.418
The rubber meets the road. as a writer, as a teacher, it's like, "do you really
00:12:42.484 --> 00:12:43.352
As a writer, as a teacher, it's like, "do you really believe the message
00:12:43.419 --> 00:12:44.520
It's like, "do you really believe the message that you're teaching."
00:12:44.587 --> 00:12:46.121
Believe the message that you're teaching." and i realized so many times,
00:12:46.188 --> 00:12:48.424
That you're teaching." and i realized so many times, people reading my books
00:12:48.490 --> 00:12:49.658
And i realized so many times, people reading my books or listening in the audience--
00:12:49.725 --> 00:12:52.094
People reading my books or listening in the audience-- before they ever
00:12:52.161 --> 00:12:53.229
Or listening in the audience-- before they ever wanna be taught,
00:12:53.295 --> 00:12:53.963
Before they ever wanna be taught, they wanna be understood.
00:12:54.029 --> 00:12:55.865
Wanna be taught, they wanna be understood. and, boy, did i understand
00:12:55.931 --> 00:12:57.900
They wanna be understood. and, boy, did i understand the pain in a whole new,
00:12:57.967 --> 00:12:59.435
And, boy, did i understand the pain in a whole new, fresh way.
00:12:59.501 --> 00:13:00.369
>> joyce: and you teach
00:13:01.170 --> 00:13:01.971
>> joyce: and you teach in a totally different
00:13:02.037 --> 00:13:02.571
>> joyce: and you teach in a totally different level when you've really
00:13:02.638 --> 00:13:03.639
In a totally different level when you've really been through what
00:13:03.706 --> 00:13:05.274
Level when you've really been through what you're teaching about.
00:13:05.341 --> 00:13:06.275
Been through what you're teaching about. >> lysa: with extreme
00:13:06.342 --> 00:13:07.042
You're teaching about. >> lysa: with extreme compassion.
00:13:07.109 --> 00:13:07.743
>> lysa: with extreme compassion. >> joyce: right.
00:13:07.810 --> 00:13:08.577
Compassion. >> joyce: right. >> lysa: yeah, just like,
00:13:08.644 --> 00:13:09.511
>> joyce: right. >> lysa: yeah, just like, "man, i'm not gonna
00:13:09.578 --> 00:13:12.548
Teach these things,
00:13:12.615 --> 00:13:13.682
Teach these things, void of the understanding
00:13:13.749 --> 00:13:15.517
Teach these things, void of the understanding of where some of you are at,
00:13:15.584 --> 00:13:16.619
Void of the understanding of where some of you are at, because guess what?
00:13:16.685 --> 00:13:17.486
Of where some of you are at, because guess what? i'm there too."
00:13:17.553 --> 00:13:18.587
Because guess what? i'm there too." >> joyce: i think the biggest
00:13:18.654 --> 00:13:19.488
I'm there too." >> joyce: i think the biggest problem that people have--
00:13:19.555 --> 00:13:22.625
>> joyce: i think the biggest problem that people have-- causes almost all the other
00:13:22.691 --> 00:13:24.860
Problem that people have-- causes almost all the other problems we deal with, with
00:13:24.927 --> 00:13:26.228
Causes almost all the other problems we deal with, with ourself and with other people,
00:13:26.295 --> 00:13:28.497
Problems we deal with, with ourself and with other people, is people just don't
00:13:28.564 --> 00:13:30.366
Ourself and with other people, is people just don't like themselves.
00:13:30.432 --> 00:13:31.533
Is people just don't like themselves. >> erin: yeah, absolutely.
00:13:31.600 --> 00:13:32.468
Like themselves. >> erin: yeah, absolutely. >> joyce: they just--
00:13:32.534 --> 00:13:34.069
>> erin: yeah, absolutely. >> joyce: they just-- they don't like themselves.
00:13:34.136 --> 00:13:35.838
>> joyce: they just-- they don't like themselves. they don't like this about
00:13:35.905 --> 00:13:36.605
They don't like themselves. they don't like this about themselves,
00:13:36.672 --> 00:13:37.072
They don't like this about themselves, they don't like that
00:13:37.139 --> 00:13:37.806
Themselves, they don't like that about themselves.
00:13:37.873 --> 00:13:38.574
They don't like that about themselves. i remember when i didn't
00:13:38.641 --> 00:13:39.475
About themselves. i remember when i didn't like my voice and that's
00:13:39.541 --> 00:13:41.510
I remember when i didn't like my voice and that's the very thing that god
00:13:41.577 --> 00:13:43.312
Like my voice and that's the very thing that god uses around the world.
00:13:43.379 --> 00:13:45.414
The very thing that god uses around the world. and i didn't like this,
00:13:45.481 --> 00:13:46.582
Uses around the world. and i didn't like this, and i didn't like that,
00:13:46.649 --> 00:13:47.516
And i didn't like this, and i didn't like that, and i didn't like
00:13:47.583 --> 00:13:48.083
And i didn't like that, and i didn't like something else.
00:13:48.150 --> 00:13:48.751
And i didn't like something else. i didn't like my personality.
00:13:48.817 --> 00:13:49.752
Something else. i didn't like my personality. i thought i was too abrupt
00:13:49.818 --> 00:13:50.986
I didn't like my personality. i thought i was too abrupt and too rude.
00:13:51.053 --> 00:13:51.921
So, i tried to be real
00:13:52.588 --> 00:13:53.622
So, i tried to be real sweet and soft spoken,
00:13:53.689 --> 00:13:54.690
So, i tried to be real sweet and soft spoken, and it just got to be so silly.
00:13:54.757 --> 00:13:56.625
Sweet and soft spoken, and it just got to be so silly. i tried to be so many people.
00:13:56.692 --> 00:13:58.127
And it just got to be so silly. i tried to be so many people. i didn't even know who i was.
00:13:58.193 --> 00:13:59.862
I tried to be so many people. i didn't even know who i was. and i was trying to love
00:13:59.929 --> 00:14:02.064
I didn't even know who i was. and i was trying to love because i was being taught,
00:14:02.131 --> 00:14:03.299
And i was trying to love because i was being taught, "you need to love people,
00:14:03.365 --> 00:14:04.867
Because i was being taught, "you need to love people, love people, love people."
00:14:04.934 --> 00:14:05.734
"you need to love people, love people, love people." and i was really trying
00:14:05.801 --> 00:14:06.502
Love people, love people." and i was really trying to love people.
00:14:06.568 --> 00:14:07.436
And i was really trying to love people. and god finally just said to me,
00:14:07.503 --> 00:14:08.737
To love people. and god finally just said to me, "you can't love anybody
00:14:08.804 --> 00:14:09.571
And god finally just said to me, "you can't love anybody because you don't love yourself.
00:14:09.638 --> 00:14:10.839
"you can't love anybody because you don't love yourself. you don't have any
00:14:10.906 --> 00:14:11.707
Because you don't love yourself. you don't have any love to give away.
00:14:11.774 --> 00:14:12.474
You don't have any love to give away. you can't give away
00:14:12.541 --> 00:14:14.476
Love to give away. you can't give away what you don't have."
00:14:14.543 --> 00:14:15.477
You can't give away what you don't have." and so, you have to start
00:14:15.544 --> 00:14:17.012
What you don't have." and so, you have to start by having that foundation
00:14:17.079 --> 00:14:18.314
And so, you have to start by having that foundation of knowing that god
00:14:18.380 --> 00:14:19.181
By having that foundation of knowing that god loves you and that you
00:14:19.248 --> 00:14:20.582
Of knowing that god loves you and that you are lovable,
00:14:20.649 --> 00:14:21.617
No matter what other
00:14:21.684 --> 00:14:22.985
No matter what other people have told you.
00:14:23.052 --> 00:14:24.453
No matter what other people have told you. now, my husband happens
00:14:24.520 --> 00:14:25.487
People have told you. now, my husband happens to be one of these guys
00:14:25.554 --> 00:14:26.388
Now, my husband happens to be one of these guys that's very confident.
00:14:26.455 --> 00:14:28.691
To be one of these guys that's very confident. if dave was being rejected,
00:14:28.757 --> 00:14:29.925
That's very confident. if dave was being rejected, i don't think he would
00:14:29.992 --> 00:14:30.693
If dave was being rejected, i don't think he would even know it.
00:14:30.759 --> 00:14:32.361
I don't think he would even know it. >> [ladies laughing]
00:14:32.428 --> 00:14:33.495
Even know it. >> [ladies laughing] >> joyce: i don't.
00:14:33.562 --> 00:14:34.930
>> [ladies laughing] >> joyce: i don't. and, you know, i mentioned
00:14:34.997 --> 00:14:36.565
>> joyce: i don't. and, you know, i mentioned something a couple times about,
00:14:36.632 --> 00:14:38.033
And, you know, i mentioned something a couple times about, "well, you know, they're really
00:14:38.100 --> 00:14:40.436
Something a couple times about, "well, you know, they're really kind of rejecting you.
00:14:40.502 --> 00:14:41.804
"well, you know, they're really kind of rejecting you. they're not--
00:14:41.870 --> 00:14:43.372
Kind of rejecting you. they're not-- they never call
00:14:43.439 --> 00:14:44.006
They're not-- they never call you to play golf.
00:14:44.073 --> 00:14:44.807
They never call you to play golf. it's always you calling them."
00:14:44.873 --> 00:14:45.774
You to play golf. it's always you calling them." and he's like,
00:14:45.841 --> 00:14:46.442
It's always you calling them." and he's like, "well, that's their problem,
00:14:46.508 --> 00:14:47.343
And he's like, "well, that's their problem, not mine."
00:14:47.409 --> 00:14:49.411
"well, that's their problem, not mine." >> erin: free way to live.
00:14:49.478 --> 00:14:50.779
Not mine." >> erin: free way to live. >> joyce: yeah.
00:14:50.846 --> 00:14:51.313
>> erin: free way to live. >> joyce: yeah. but he had some very
00:14:51.380 --> 00:14:52.081
>> joyce: yeah. but he had some very strong experiences with
00:14:52.147 --> 00:14:53.782
But he had some very strong experiences with god when he was very young.
00:14:53.849 --> 00:14:55.417
Strong experiences with god when he was very young. and i think he got his
00:14:55.484 --> 00:14:57.453
God when he was very young. and i think he got his confidence from that because
00:14:57.519 --> 00:14:59.321
And i think he got his confidence from that because his dad was out of his life.
00:14:59.388 --> 00:15:00.522
Confidence from that because his dad was out of his life. he was an alcoholic
00:15:00.589 --> 00:15:03.492
His dad was out of his life. he was an alcoholic and just kind of stayed away
00:15:03.559 --> 00:15:05.127
He was an alcoholic and just kind of stayed away from everybody all the time.
00:15:05.194 --> 00:15:06.028
And just kind of stayed away from everybody all the time. his mom was great.
00:15:06.095 --> 00:15:07.696
From everybody all the time. his mom was great. she really took him
00:15:07.763 --> 00:15:08.364
His mom was great. she really took him to church and taught
00:15:08.430 --> 00:15:09.131
She really took him to church and taught him a good foundation.
00:15:09.198 --> 00:15:10.666
To church and taught him a good foundation. and somewhere along the line,
00:15:10.733 --> 00:15:11.900
Him a good foundation. and somewhere along the line, he just--
00:15:11.967 --> 00:15:14.536
And somewhere along the line, he just-- he likes who he is.
00:15:14.603 --> 00:15:15.337
He just-- he likes who he is. he's not trying to be anybody
00:15:15.404 --> 00:15:16.438
He likes who he is. he's not trying to be anybody other than who he is.
00:15:16.505 --> 00:15:17.339
He's not trying to be anybody other than who he is. and he's just confident.
00:15:17.406 --> 00:15:19.274
Other than who he is. and he's just confident. but it always cracks
00:15:19.341 --> 00:15:20.442
And he's just confident. but it always cracks me up if i say, "well, you know,
00:15:20.509 --> 00:15:23.846
But it always cracks me up if i say, "well, you know, you made so and so mad."
00:15:23.912 --> 00:15:25.280
Me up if i say, "well, you know, you made so and so mad." he's like, "well, i wasn't
00:15:25.347 --> 00:15:26.448
You made so and so mad." he's like, "well, i wasn't trying to make 'em mad.
00:15:26.515 --> 00:15:27.182
He's like, "well, i wasn't trying to make 'em mad. so, if they got mad,
00:15:27.249 --> 00:15:27.916
Trying to make 'em mad. so, if they got mad, that's their problem.
00:15:27.983 --> 00:15:28.684
So, if they got mad, that's their problem. they need to work
00:15:28.751 --> 00:15:29.318
That's their problem. they need to work it out with god."
00:15:29.385 --> 00:15:30.586
They need to work it out with god." >> ginger: yeah,
00:15:30.652 --> 00:15:31.086
It out with god." >> ginger: yeah, what a good place to be.
00:15:31.153 --> 00:15:31.987
>> ginger: yeah, what a good place to be. >> lysa: yeah.
00:15:32.054 --> 00:15:32.621
What a good place to be. >> lysa: yeah. there's three things for me
00:15:32.688 --> 00:15:34.356
>> lysa: yeah. there's three things for me that have helped a lot when
00:15:34.423 --> 00:15:37.326
There's three things for me that have helped a lot when thinking through rejection.
00:15:37.393 --> 00:15:40.729
That have helped a lot when thinking through rejection. the first, and i really gleaned
00:15:40.796 --> 00:15:43.732
Thinking through rejection. the first, and i really gleaned this from the story
00:15:43.799 --> 00:15:44.566
The first, and i really gleaned this from the story of joseph in the bible,
00:15:44.633 --> 00:15:45.968
This from the story of joseph in the bible, who was terribly rejected
00:15:46.035 --> 00:15:47.569
Of joseph in the bible, who was terribly rejected by his brothers.
00:15:47.636 --> 00:15:48.404
Who was terribly rejected by his brothers. betrayed, sold, you know,
00:15:48.470 --> 00:15:50.739
By his brothers. betrayed, sold, you know, told the--
00:15:50.806 --> 00:15:51.373
Betrayed, sold, you know, told the-- the brothers told
00:15:51.440 --> 00:15:52.508
Told the-- the brothers told the father that he was dead,
00:15:52.574 --> 00:15:53.509
The brothers told the father that he was dead, so nobody's even
00:15:53.575 --> 00:15:54.309
The father that he was dead, so nobody's even looking for him.
00:15:54.376 --> 00:15:55.110
So nobody's even looking for him. and as i look at that story,
00:15:55.177 --> 00:15:58.313
Looking for him. and as i look at that story, the state that joseph was
00:15:58.380 --> 00:15:59.748
And as i look at that story, the state that joseph was in with his brothers at age 17,
00:15:59.815 --> 00:16:01.984
The state that joseph was in with his brothers at age 17, god had called him,
00:16:02.051 --> 00:16:03.152
In with his brothers at age 17, god had called him, given him a vision that
00:16:03.218 --> 00:16:04.953
God had called him, given him a vision that he would be a leader one day.
00:16:05.020 --> 00:16:06.422
Given him a vision that he would be a leader one day. but at 17, i don't know
00:16:06.488 --> 00:16:09.158
He would be a leader one day. but at 17, i don't know if he was prideful with the way
00:16:09.224 --> 00:16:10.993
But at 17, i don't know if he was prideful with the way he talked to his brothers
00:16:11.060 --> 00:16:12.528
If he was prideful with the way he talked to his brothers or if it was the fact that
00:16:12.594 --> 00:16:13.962
He talked to his brothers or if it was the fact that the dad preferred joseph
00:16:14.029 --> 00:16:15.431
Or if it was the fact that the dad preferred joseph over the brothers that
00:16:15.497 --> 00:16:16.231
The dad preferred joseph over the brothers that added to this dynamic.
00:16:16.298 --> 00:16:17.266
Over the brothers that added to this dynamic. but the scriptures make it clear
00:16:17.332 --> 00:16:18.534
Added to this dynamic. but the scriptures make it clear those brothers hated him,
00:16:18.600 --> 00:16:20.069
But the scriptures make it clear those brothers hated him, could not say a kind
00:16:20.135 --> 00:16:21.036
Those brothers hated him, could not say a kind word about him.
00:16:21.103 --> 00:16:22.004
Could not say a kind word about him. and so, he was not
00:16:22.071 --> 00:16:24.540
Word about him. and so, he was not in a position where he could
00:16:24.606 --> 00:16:25.474
And so, he was not in a position where he could have led those brothers,
00:16:25.541 --> 00:16:26.608
In a position where he could have led those brothers, at that point.
00:16:26.675 --> 00:16:27.876
Have led those brothers, at that point. he was destined to be a leader.
00:16:27.943 --> 00:16:29.845
At that point. he was destined to be a leader. but their rejection actually
00:16:29.912 --> 00:16:32.347
He was destined to be a leader. but their rejection actually turned into a protection
00:16:32.414 --> 00:16:35.050
But their rejection actually turned into a protection of joseph's calling.
00:16:35.117 --> 00:16:36.385
Turned into a protection of joseph's calling. and as the story played out,
00:16:36.452 --> 00:16:38.287
Of joseph's calling. and as the story played out, you know, he does wind
00:16:38.353 --> 00:16:39.388
And as the story played out, you know, he does wind up being a leader.
00:16:39.455 --> 00:16:40.456
Not just a leader that
00:16:40.956 --> 00:16:42.224
Not just a leader that is over the brothers,
00:16:42.291 --> 00:16:43.625
Not just a leader that is over the brothers, but he was the second most
00:16:43.692 --> 00:16:45.160
Is over the brothers, but he was the second most powerful man in egypt,
00:16:45.227 --> 00:16:46.228
But he was the second most powerful man in egypt, probably second most
00:16:46.295 --> 00:16:47.396
Powerful man in egypt, probably second most powerful man in the world.
00:16:47.463 --> 00:16:48.764
Probably second most powerful man in the world. and just looking at that
00:16:48.831 --> 00:16:50.666
Powerful man in the world. and just looking at that story reminds me,
00:16:50.732 --> 00:16:52.134
And just looking at that story reminds me, so sometimes a rejection--
00:16:52.201 --> 00:16:53.936
And i heard this
00:16:54.002 --> 00:16:55.070
And i heard this in your story too.
00:16:55.137 --> 00:16:56.905
And i heard this in your story too. you know, some of those
00:16:56.972 --> 00:16:58.607
In your story too. you know, some of those people that rejected you,
00:16:58.674 --> 00:16:59.842
You know, some of those people that rejected you, that was a protection
00:16:59.908 --> 00:17:01.076
People that rejected you, that was a protection of your calling,
00:17:01.143 --> 00:17:01.810
That was a protection of your calling, cause they weren't
00:17:01.877 --> 00:17:02.444
Of your calling, cause they weren't gonna go where god
00:17:02.511 --> 00:17:03.412
Cause they weren't gonna go where god had destined you to go,
00:17:03.479 --> 00:17:04.546
Gonna go where god had destined you to go, you know.
00:17:04.613 --> 00:17:05.180
Had destined you to go, you know. >> joyce: yeah.
00:17:05.247 --> 00:17:05.681
You know. >> joyce: yeah. >> lysa: and so, the first big
00:17:05.747 --> 00:17:06.715
>> joyce: yeah. >> lysa: and so, the first big thing is like sometimes
00:17:06.782 --> 00:17:07.616
>> lysa: and so, the first big thing is like sometimes rejection is a protection.
00:17:07.683 --> 00:17:08.984
The second thing is sometimes
00:17:09.918 --> 00:17:11.053
The second thing is sometimes rejection is a whole lot less
00:17:11.120 --> 00:17:12.421
The second thing is sometimes rejection is a whole lot less about you and a whole lot more
00:17:12.488 --> 00:17:15.157
Rejection is a whole lot less about you and a whole lot more about whatever's going on inside
00:17:15.224 --> 00:17:16.825
About you and a whole lot more about whatever's going on inside of the person who rejects you.
00:17:16.892 --> 00:17:18.227
About whatever's going on inside of the person who rejects you. and i had to learn that with
00:17:18.293 --> 00:17:21.530
Of the person who rejects you. and i had to learn that with the dynamic of my divorce.
00:17:21.597 --> 00:17:23.432
And i had to learn that with the dynamic of my divorce. you know, there was--
00:17:23.499 --> 00:17:24.733
The dynamic of my divorce. you know, there was-- i remember after
00:17:24.800 --> 00:17:25.968
You know, there was-- i remember after the divorce happened,
00:17:26.034 --> 00:17:27.803
I remember after the divorce happened, someone ran into my ex-husband,
00:17:27.870 --> 00:17:29.738
The divorce happened, someone ran into my ex-husband, and you know, he said,
00:17:29.805 --> 00:17:31.440
Someone ran into my ex-husband, and you know, he said, "i'm happier than
00:17:31.507 --> 00:17:32.174
And you know, he said, "i'm happier than i've ever been."
00:17:32.241 --> 00:17:32.808
"i'm happier than i've ever been." and i remember that statement
00:17:32.875 --> 00:17:35.177
I've ever been." and i remember that statement landing on me...
00:17:35.244 --> 00:17:35.978
And i remember that statement landing on me... >> ginger: yeah, ouch.
00:17:36.044 --> 00:17:37.146
Landing on me... >> ginger: yeah, ouch. >> lysa: and hurting so much.
00:17:37.212 --> 00:17:38.313
>> ginger: yeah, ouch. >> lysa: and hurting so much. but it made sense.
00:17:38.380 --> 00:17:40.549
>> lysa: and hurting so much. but it made sense. because he was living a life,
00:17:40.616 --> 00:17:42.084
But it made sense. because he was living a life, i was never willing
00:17:42.151 --> 00:17:43.252
Because he was living a life, i was never willing to live with him.
00:17:43.318 --> 00:17:44.486
I was never willing to live with him. and so now, his outsides
00:17:44.553 --> 00:17:46.155
Matched his insides.
00:17:46.221 --> 00:17:47.322
Matched his insides. so, yeah, i would imagine
00:17:47.389 --> 00:17:48.924
Matched his insides. so, yeah, i would imagine that congruity is definitely--
00:17:48.991 --> 00:17:52.494
So, yeah, i would imagine that congruity is definitely-- he's happier than he was ever.
00:17:52.561 --> 00:17:54.129
That congruity is definitely-- he's happier than he was ever. because with me, you know,
00:17:54.196 --> 00:17:56.698
He's happier than he was ever. because with me, you know, his insides didn't
00:17:56.765 --> 00:17:57.633
Because with me, you know, his insides didn't match his outsides.
00:17:57.699 --> 00:18:00.102
His insides didn't match his outsides. the outside world that
00:18:00.169 --> 00:18:01.303
Match his outsides. the outside world that we were in was never
00:18:01.370 --> 00:18:03.205
The outside world that we were in was never gonna match the insides.
00:18:03.272 --> 00:18:04.306
So, you have to just know
00:18:04.940 --> 00:18:06.108
So, you have to just know sometimes that rejection
00:18:06.175 --> 00:18:06.942
So, you have to just know sometimes that rejection is a lot more about what's going
00:18:07.009 --> 00:18:08.377
Sometimes that rejection is a lot more about what's going on inside of another person
00:18:08.443 --> 00:18:09.578
Is a lot more about what's going on inside of another person and a lot less to do with some
00:18:09.645 --> 00:18:11.513
On inside of another person and a lot less to do with some fundamental flaw in you.
00:18:11.580 --> 00:18:12.781
And a lot less to do with some fundamental flaw in you. but the third part of rejection,
00:18:12.848 --> 00:18:14.616
Fundamental flaw in you. but the third part of rejection, and this is a little harder.
00:18:14.683 --> 00:18:16.451
But the third part of rejection, and this is a little harder. there might be a reason that
00:18:16.518 --> 00:18:18.453
And this is a little harder. there might be a reason that somebody has rejected you.
00:18:18.520 --> 00:18:19.855
There might be a reason that somebody has rejected you. you know, i remember--
00:18:19.922 --> 00:18:22.157
Somebody has rejected you. you know, i remember-- >> joyce: oh, you mean
00:18:22.224 --> 00:18:22.958
You know, i remember-- >> joyce: oh, you mean it could be our own fault?
00:18:23.025 --> 00:18:24.159
>> joyce: oh, you mean it could be our own fault? >> [ladies laughing]
00:18:24.226 --> 00:18:24.826
It could be our own fault? >> [ladies laughing] >> lysa: yeah.
00:18:24.893 --> 00:18:25.394
>> [ladies laughing] >> lysa: yeah. >> erin: i thought
00:18:25.460 --> 00:18:26.028
>> lysa: yeah. >> erin: i thought that's what she said.
00:18:26.094 --> 00:18:26.695
>> erin: i thought that's what she said. >> lysa: so, in that book
00:18:26.762 --> 00:18:27.930
That's what she said. >> lysa: so, in that book that i was mentioning
00:18:27.996 --> 00:18:29.298
>> lysa: so, in that book that i was mentioning "uninvited," i wrote
00:18:29.364 --> 00:18:30.799
That i was mentioning "uninvited," i wrote an assessment at the end
00:18:30.866 --> 00:18:32.167
"uninvited," i wrote an assessment at the end of the book called
00:18:32.234 --> 00:18:33.168
An assessment at the end of the book called "what is it really like
00:18:33.235 --> 00:18:34.336
Of the book called "what is it really like to do life with me?"
00:18:34.403 --> 00:18:35.404
"what is it really like to do life with me?" and the assessment
00:18:35.470 --> 00:18:37.306
To do life with me?" and the assessment is i wrote out a whole bunch
00:18:37.372 --> 00:18:39.675
And the assessment is i wrote out a whole bunch of things that i thought
00:18:39.741 --> 00:18:40.842
Is i wrote out a whole bunch of things that i thought to be true about me,
00:18:40.909 --> 00:18:42.444
Of things that i thought to be true about me, and then a trusted friend,
00:18:42.511 --> 00:18:45.480
To be true about me, and then a trusted friend, who i know loves me to pieces,
00:18:45.547 --> 00:18:47.816
And then a trusted friend, who i know loves me to pieces, and that i wouldn't take
00:18:47.883 --> 00:18:48.884
Who i know loves me to pieces, and that i wouldn't take it so personally,
00:18:48.951 --> 00:18:49.751
And that i wouldn't take it so personally, but i had her look at the list,
00:18:49.818 --> 00:18:51.320
It so personally, but i had her look at the list, and i just wanted to see did
00:18:51.386 --> 00:18:53.322
But i had her look at the list, and i just wanted to see did her experience of me and my
00:18:53.388 --> 00:18:55.791
And i just wanted to see did her experience of me and my own thoughts about myself,
00:18:55.857 --> 00:18:57.059
Her experience of me and my own thoughts about myself, did they line up?
00:18:57.125 --> 00:18:58.293
Own thoughts about myself, did they line up? and it gave me an opportunity
00:18:58.360 --> 00:19:00.462
Did they line up? and it gave me an opportunity to recognize,
00:19:00.529 --> 00:19:01.530
And it gave me an opportunity to recognize, like, "oh, there are some
00:19:01.597 --> 00:19:03.332
To recognize, like, "oh, there are some things i do need to work on."
00:19:03.398 --> 00:19:05.234
Like, "oh, there are some things i do need to work on." it's not always
00:19:05.300 --> 00:19:06.201
Things i do need to work on." it's not always someone else's fault.
00:19:06.268 --> 00:19:07.903
It's not always someone else's fault. and one of the biggest
00:19:07.970 --> 00:19:09.137
Someone else's fault. and one of the biggest things that came out of that,
00:19:09.204 --> 00:19:10.973
And one of the biggest things that came out of that, a realization for me,
00:19:11.039 --> 00:19:12.307
Things that came out of that, a realization for me, is that i tend to sugarcoat
00:19:12.374 --> 00:19:14.776
A realization for me, is that i tend to sugarcoat things so that i don't have
00:19:14.843 --> 00:19:15.944
Is that i tend to sugarcoat things so that i don't have to have hard conversations.
00:19:16.011 --> 00:19:17.579
Things so that i don't have to have hard conversations. and what my friend was saying,
00:19:17.646 --> 00:19:18.914
To have hard conversations. and what my friend was saying, "lysa, it's harder for me
00:19:18.981 --> 00:19:20.616
And what my friend was saying, "lysa, it's harder for me to do the mental gymnastics
00:19:20.682 --> 00:19:22.084
"lysa, it's harder for me to do the mental gymnastics to try to figure out what
00:19:22.150 --> 00:19:23.552
To do the mental gymnastics to try to figure out what you're really trying to say,
00:19:23.619 --> 00:19:24.820
To try to figure out what you're really trying to say, because all that sugar coating,
00:19:24.886 --> 00:19:26.655
You're really trying to say, because all that sugar coating, it drives me nuts.
00:19:26.722 --> 00:19:28.257
Because all that sugar coating, it drives me nuts. like, i'm a big girl.
00:19:28.323 --> 00:19:29.758
It drives me nuts. like, i'm a big girl. if there's something hard
00:19:29.825 --> 00:19:30.792
Like, i'm a big girl. if there's something hard that we need to talk about,
00:19:30.859 --> 00:19:31.693
If there's something hard that we need to talk about, let's just talk about it,"
00:19:31.760 --> 00:19:32.894
That we need to talk about, let's just talk about it," you know?
00:19:32.961 --> 00:19:33.562
Let's just talk about it," you know? and so those were three
00:19:33.629 --> 00:19:34.896
You know? and so those were three really powerful things.
00:19:34.963 --> 00:19:36.198
And so those were three really powerful things. sometimes it has a lot
00:19:36.265 --> 00:19:37.432
Really powerful things. sometimes it has a lot less to do with me.
00:19:37.499 --> 00:19:38.433
Sometimes it has a lot less to do with me. sometimes it is because
00:19:38.500 --> 00:19:40.469
Less to do with me. sometimes it is because of something that i'm doing
00:19:40.535 --> 00:19:41.370
Sometimes it is because of something that i'm doing that i need to work on.
00:19:41.436 --> 00:19:42.904
Of something that i'm doing that i need to work on. but a lot of times, also,
00:19:42.971 --> 00:19:44.906
That i need to work on. but a lot of times, also, rejection is some
00:19:44.973 --> 00:19:45.841
But a lot of times, also, rejection is some kind of protection,
00:19:45.907 --> 00:19:47.109
Rejection is some kind of protection, even though it doesn't feel
00:19:47.175 --> 00:19:47.876
Kind of protection, even though it doesn't feel that way or look that
00:19:47.943 --> 00:19:48.610
Even though it doesn't feel that way or look that way at all at the time.
00:19:48.677 --> 00:19:49.911
That way or look that way at all at the time. >> ginger: yeah, definitely
00:19:49.978 --> 00:19:50.879
Way at all at the time. >> ginger: yeah, definitely i found that to be true
00:19:50.946 --> 00:19:51.847
>> ginger: yeah, definitely i found that to be true with one of the big
00:19:51.913 --> 00:19:53.015
I found that to be true with one of the big rejections in my life.
00:19:53.081 --> 00:19:56.118
With one of the big rejections in my life. someone went very, very
00:19:56.184 --> 00:19:58.053
Rejections in my life. someone went very, very public with lies about me.
00:19:58.120 --> 00:20:00.455
Someone went very, very public with lies about me. this is before i worked
00:20:00.522 --> 00:20:02.024
Public with lies about me. this is before i worked at joyce meyer ministries.
00:20:02.090 --> 00:20:03.558
This is before i worked at joyce meyer ministries. and so, these lies were
00:20:03.625 --> 00:20:05.927
At joyce meyer ministries. and so, these lies were all over the community,
00:20:05.994 --> 00:20:07.663
And so, these lies were all over the community, and they were
00:20:07.729 --> 00:20:08.930
All over the community, and they were just outright lies.
00:20:08.997 --> 00:20:10.198
And they were just outright lies. and i was so rejected
00:20:10.265 --> 00:20:12.367
Just outright lies. and i was so rejected and broken.
00:20:12.434 --> 00:20:13.101
And i was so rejected and broken. "how can i show
00:20:13.168 --> 00:20:13.735
And broken. "how can i show my face anywhere?
00:20:13.802 --> 00:20:14.870
"how can i show my face anywhere? because they'll reject me, too."
00:20:14.936 --> 00:20:16.938
My face anywhere? because they'll reject me, too." and it was just one rejection
00:20:17.005 --> 00:20:18.774
Because they'll reject me, too." and it was just one rejection upon the next.
00:20:18.840 --> 00:20:19.608
And it was just one rejection upon the next. and just trying to figure out,
00:20:19.675 --> 00:20:20.642
Upon the next. and just trying to figure out, "god, how do i get through this?
00:20:20.709 --> 00:20:23.245
And just trying to figure out, "god, how do i get through this? how do i walk through this?"
00:20:23.312 --> 00:20:25.247
"god, how do i get through this? how do i walk through this?" and i had to learn two of those
00:20:25.314 --> 00:20:27.582
How do i walk through this?" and i had to learn two of those things that you were saying--
00:20:27.649 --> 00:20:28.483
And i had to learn two of those things that you were saying-- probably all three.
00:20:28.550 --> 00:20:29.351
Things that you were saying-- probably all three. is that it was so much more
00:20:29.418 --> 00:20:31.486
Probably all three. is that it was so much more about what was going
00:20:31.553 --> 00:20:32.554
Is that it was so much more about what was going on in that person's life
00:20:32.621 --> 00:20:34.523
About what was going on in that person's life than it was about what
00:20:34.589 --> 00:20:35.757
On in that person's life than it was about what was going on in my own life.
00:20:35.824 --> 00:20:37.726
Than it was about what was going on in my own life. but even with that,
00:20:37.793 --> 00:20:39.594
Was going on in my own life. but even with that, i had to take responsibility
00:20:39.661 --> 00:20:41.263
But even with that, i had to take responsibility for anything that
00:20:41.330 --> 00:20:42.764
I had to take responsibility for anything that i did need to do.
00:20:42.831 --> 00:20:44.833
For anything that i did need to do. you know, that i learned a lot
00:20:44.900 --> 00:20:47.402
I did need to do. you know, that i learned a lot that i needed to change for
00:20:47.469 --> 00:20:49.204
You know, that i learned a lot that i needed to change for relationships moving forward.
00:20:49.271 --> 00:20:50.672
That i needed to change for relationships moving forward. and i also found that god used
00:20:50.739 --> 00:20:53.709
Relationships moving forward. and i also found that god used it to enable me to minister
00:20:53.775 --> 00:20:57.813
And i also found that god used it to enable me to minister in a stronger way to other
00:20:57.879 --> 00:20:59.047
It to enable me to minister in a stronger way to other people because i understood
00:20:59.114 --> 00:21:00.816
In a stronger way to other people because i understood that pain in a way that i never
00:21:00.882 --> 00:21:02.884
People because i understood that pain in a way that i never would have otherwise.
00:21:02.951 --> 00:21:04.152
That pain in a way that i never would have otherwise. so, i think
00:21:04.219 --> 00:21:05.954
Would have otherwise. so, i think it's so important to,
00:21:06.021 --> 00:21:07.489
So, i think it's so important to, when we're hurting so much
00:21:07.556 --> 00:21:09.257
It's so important to, when we're hurting so much to just take a beat and say,
00:21:09.324 --> 00:21:11.293
When we're hurting so much to just take a beat and say, "god, if there's anything
00:21:11.360 --> 00:21:12.861
To just take a beat and say, "god, if there's anything you need me to see in this,
00:21:12.928 --> 00:21:13.962
"god, if there's anything you need me to see in this, please show me.
00:21:14.029 --> 00:21:14.730
You need me to see in this, please show me. and whatever you wanna
00:21:14.796 --> 00:21:17.232
Please show me. and whatever you wanna do in it, i'm open to it.
00:21:17.299 --> 00:21:19.401
And whatever you wanna do in it, i'm open to it. so please heal my wounds.
00:21:19.468 --> 00:21:21.036
Do in it, i'm open to it. so please heal my wounds. but as you do it,
00:21:21.103 --> 00:21:22.137
So please heal my wounds. but as you do it, your will is what i want
00:21:22.204 --> 00:21:24.272
But as you do it, your will is what i want more than anything else."
00:21:24.339 --> 00:21:25.140
Your will is what i want more than anything else." and, wow, that's hard
00:21:25.207 --> 00:21:26.108
More than anything else." and, wow, that's hard to do when you're
00:21:26.174 --> 00:21:26.775
And, wow, that's hard to do when you're in that position.
00:21:26.842 --> 00:21:27.843
To do when you're in that position. but it was huge.
00:21:27.909 --> 00:21:28.910
In that position. but it was huge. it was hugely important to do.
00:21:28.977 --> 00:21:31.146
But it was huge. it was hugely important to do. >> joyce: i remember, one day,
00:21:31.213 --> 00:21:32.080
It was hugely important to do. >> joyce: i remember, one day, i was praying for dave to change
00:21:32.147 --> 00:21:34.082
>> joyce: i remember, one day, i was praying for dave to change because i was not happy with
00:21:34.149 --> 00:21:36.251
I was praying for dave to change because i was not happy with the way he was treating me.
00:21:36.318 --> 00:21:38.453
Because i was not happy with the way he was treating me. and i was praying so hard
00:21:38.520 --> 00:21:39.454
The way he was treating me. and i was praying so hard for him to change.
00:21:39.521 --> 00:21:40.155
And i was praying so hard for him to change. and it was almost like the lord
00:21:40.222 --> 00:21:41.490
For him to change. and it was almost like the lord interrupted me and said...
00:21:41.556 --> 00:21:45.560
And it was almost like the lord interrupted me and said... i was too busy praying
00:21:45.627 --> 00:21:46.595
Interrupted me and said... i was too busy praying for dave to change,
00:21:46.661 --> 00:21:47.362
I was too busy praying for dave to change, "i'll get back to you
00:21:47.429 --> 00:21:48.497
For dave to change, "i'll get back to you in a minute."
00:21:48.563 --> 00:21:49.464
"i'll get back to you in a minute." and god just said,
00:21:49.531 --> 00:21:51.867
In a minute." and god just said, "it's not dave's fault."
00:21:51.933 --> 00:21:54.035
And god just said, "it's not dave's fault." and i thought,
00:21:54.102 --> 00:21:54.669
"it's not dave's fault." and i thought, "well, whose fault is it then?
00:21:54.736 --> 00:21:56.138
And i thought, "well, whose fault is it then? there's only me and him."
00:21:56.204 --> 00:21:57.439
"well, whose fault is it then? there's only me and him." i mean, i couldn't--
00:21:57.506 --> 00:21:58.507
There's only me and him." i mean, i couldn't-- i had just never seen
00:21:58.573 --> 00:22:00.776
I mean, i couldn't-- i had just never seen myself the way i came
00:22:00.842 --> 00:22:03.712
I had just never seen myself the way i came across to other people.
00:22:03.779 --> 00:22:05.680
Myself the way i came across to other people. and so, god spent a couple
00:22:05.747 --> 00:22:07.716
Across to other people. and so, god spent a couple of days showing me what
00:22:07.783 --> 00:22:08.817
And so, god spent a couple of days showing me what it was like to live with me.
00:22:08.884 --> 00:22:10.719
Of days showing me what it was like to live with me. kind of like what
00:22:10.786 --> 00:22:11.853
It was like to live with me. kind of like what you said, "what is--
00:22:11.920 --> 00:22:13.855
Kind of like what you said, "what is-- how am i to other people?"
00:22:13.922 --> 00:22:15.757
You said, "what is-- how am i to other people?" and you can't really make
00:22:15.824 --> 00:22:17.859
How am i to other people?" and you can't really make any progress until you're
00:22:17.926 --> 00:22:19.394
And you can't really make any progress until you're willing not only to think about
00:22:19.461 --> 00:22:22.664
Any progress until you're willing not only to think about the people that are hurting you,
00:22:22.731 --> 00:22:23.999
Willing not only to think about the people that are hurting you, but "why does it hurt
00:22:24.065 --> 00:22:25.634
The people that are hurting you, but "why does it hurt me so bad if somebody
00:22:25.700 --> 00:22:27.469
But "why does it hurt me so bad if somebody doesn't like me or rejects me?"
00:22:27.536 --> 00:22:31.006
Me so bad if somebody doesn't like me or rejects me?" you know, i mean, i don't know
00:22:31.072 --> 00:22:32.140
Doesn't like me or rejects me?" you know, i mean, i don't know that i'm ready to go all
00:22:32.207 --> 00:22:34.309
You know, i mean, i don't know that i'm ready to go all the way to where dave's at.
00:22:34.376 --> 00:22:35.377
That i'm ready to go all the way to where dave's at. "well, it's--"
00:22:35.444 --> 00:22:36.011
The way to where dave's at. "well, it's--" you know,
00:22:36.077 --> 00:22:36.645
"well, it's--" you know, "it's your problem."
00:22:36.711 --> 00:22:37.345
You know, "it's your problem." because sometimes i find
00:22:37.412 --> 00:22:38.780
"it's your problem." because sometimes i find that it is my problem.
00:22:38.847 --> 00:22:40.115
Because sometimes i find that it is my problem. how amazing it is what god's
00:22:40.182 --> 00:22:42.083
That it is my problem. how amazing it is what god's done in all of our lives and all
00:22:42.150 --> 00:22:44.052
How amazing it is what god's done in all of our lives and all the things that we now know,
00:22:44.119 --> 00:22:47.889
Done in all of our lives and all the things that we now know, that we just were totally
00:22:47.956 --> 00:22:49.224
The things that we now know, that we just were totally oblivious to before.
00:22:49.291 --> 00:22:51.493
That we just were totally oblivious to before. and how many people still
00:22:51.560 --> 00:22:52.794
Oblivious to before. and how many people still are in that position because
00:22:52.861 --> 00:22:55.363
And how many people still are in that position because they don't know christ.
00:22:55.430 --> 00:22:56.631
Are in that position because they don't know christ. they don't even know how
00:22:56.698 --> 00:22:57.432
They don't know christ. they don't even know how to go to him for help.
00:22:57.499 --> 00:22:58.834
They don't even know how to go to him for help. and you gotta face truth.
00:22:58.900 --> 00:23:02.170
Only the truth will
00:23:02.838 --> 00:23:03.805
Only the truth will set you free.
00:23:03.872 --> 00:23:04.272
Only the truth will set you free. >> ginger: yeah.
00:23:04.339 --> 00:23:04.739
Set you free. >> ginger: yeah. without those secrets
00:23:04.806 --> 00:23:05.474
>> ginger: yeah. without those secrets coming out,
00:23:05.540 --> 00:23:06.107
Without those secrets coming out, whether they're secrets
00:23:06.174 --> 00:23:06.975
Coming out, whether they're secrets that somebody else
00:23:07.042 --> 00:23:09.010
Whether they're secrets that somebody else is having in our own home
00:23:09.077 --> 00:23:10.912
That somebody else is having in our own home or secrets about how we feel
00:23:10.979 --> 00:23:12.848
Is having in our own home or secrets about how we feel about ourself or the shame
00:23:12.914 --> 00:23:14.149
Or secrets about how we feel about ourself or the shame that we're holding, you know,
00:23:14.216 --> 00:23:15.217
About ourself or the shame that we're holding, you know, those things have to come out,
00:23:15.283 --> 00:23:17.118
That we're holding, you know, those things have to come out, and that's how god works.
00:23:17.185 --> 00:23:18.787
Those things have to come out, and that's how god works. it hurts so much when
00:23:18.854 --> 00:23:20.455
And that's how god works. it hurts so much when those things surface.
00:23:20.522 --> 00:23:21.656
It hurts so much when those things surface. but honestly,
00:23:21.723 --> 00:23:22.958
Those things surface. but honestly, i'm so grateful in my life that
00:23:23.024 --> 00:23:25.026
But honestly, i'm so grateful in my life that those things did surface so that
00:23:25.093 --> 00:23:27.062
I'm so grateful in my life that those things did surface so that we could work through
00:23:27.128 --> 00:23:28.163
Those things did surface so that we could work through them and heal--
00:23:28.230 --> 00:23:29.097
We could work through them and heal-- both of us,
00:23:29.164 --> 00:23:29.865
Them and heal-- both of us, and be to the point
00:23:29.931 --> 00:23:31.299
Both of us, and be to the point where we are today,
00:23:31.366 --> 00:23:32.234
And be to the point where we are today, which is very different than
00:23:32.300 --> 00:23:33.635
Where we are today, which is very different than it ever would have been.
00:23:33.702 --> 00:23:34.736
Which is very different than it ever would have been. where lysa is today,
00:23:34.803 --> 00:23:35.737
It ever would have been. where lysa is today, where you both are today,
00:23:35.804 --> 00:23:37.706
Where lysa is today, where you both are today, is only because of god
00:23:37.772 --> 00:23:40.509
Where you both are today, is only because of god working through those
00:23:40.575 --> 00:23:41.543
Is only because of god working through those things that if we're trying
00:23:41.610 --> 00:23:42.978
Working through those things that if we're trying to just avoid pain,
00:23:43.044 --> 00:23:44.112
Things that if we're trying to just avoid pain, we would shove down.
00:23:44.179 --> 00:23:44.913
To just avoid pain, we would shove down. >> joyce: and those things
00:23:44.980 --> 00:23:45.647
We would shove down. >> joyce: and those things that we went through have
00:23:45.714 --> 00:23:46.481
>> joyce: and those things that we went through have equipped us to be able
00:23:46.548 --> 00:23:47.716
That we went through have equipped us to be able to help other people.
00:23:47.782 --> 00:23:48.450
Equipped us to be able to help other people. >> ginger: amen.
00:23:48.517 --> 00:23:49.217
>> male 1: my dad had an affair;
00:23:51.219 --> 00:23:52.554
>> male 1: my dad had an affair; blew up my mother's world.
00:23:52.621 --> 00:23:53.889
Blew up my mother's world. she was, you know,
00:23:53.955 --> 00:23:54.723
She was, you know, basically having
00:23:54.789 --> 00:23:55.457
Basically having a nervous breakdown.
00:23:55.524 --> 00:23:56.458
A nervous breakdown. and i didn't really
00:23:56.525 --> 00:23:57.325
And i didn't really understand at 12,
00:23:57.392 --> 00:24:00.028
Understand at 12, you know, all the rejection.
00:24:00.095 --> 00:24:01.196
You know, all the rejection. at that point,
00:24:01.263 --> 00:24:01.763
At that point, i just rejected god.
00:24:01.830 --> 00:24:03.598
>> joyce: you know,
00:24:04.533 --> 00:24:05.100
>> joyce: you know, rejection is unavoidable.
00:24:05.166 --> 00:24:06.668
Rejection is unavoidable. it's not a matter of if,
00:24:06.735 --> 00:24:08.136
It's not a matter of if, but when.
00:24:08.203 --> 00:24:09.304
But when. in fact, even jesus dealt
00:24:09.371 --> 00:24:10.872
In fact, even jesus dealt with being rejected.
00:24:10.939 --> 00:24:12.507
With being rejected. >> ginger: and rejection hurts.
00:24:12.574 --> 00:24:14.075
>> ginger: and rejection hurts. but we don't have to remain
00:24:14.142 --> 00:24:16.077
But we don't have to remain trapped in the pain
00:24:16.144 --> 00:24:17.379
Trapped in the pain it has caused.
00:24:17.445 --> 00:24:18.513
It has caused. >> joyce: that's right.
00:24:18.580 --> 00:24:19.447
>> joyce: that's right. >> ginger: you see,
00:24:19.514 --> 00:24:20.115
>> ginger: you see, healing is a process,
00:24:20.181 --> 00:24:20.882
Healing is a process, but we can be made whole again.
00:24:20.949 --> 00:24:22.651
But we can be made whole again. and our book,
00:24:22.717 --> 00:24:23.852
And our book, "healing the wounds
00:24:23.919 --> 00:24:24.553
"healing the wounds of rejection," can help.
00:24:24.619 --> 00:24:26.054
Of rejection," can help. and here's the exciting part;
00:24:26.121 --> 00:24:27.522
And here's the exciting part; it's now an audiobook.
00:24:27.589 --> 00:24:29.558
It's now an audiobook. >> [joyce clapping]
00:24:29.624 --> 00:24:30.225
>> [joyce clapping] >> joyce: together,
00:24:30.292 --> 00:24:30.859
>> joyce: together, we bring each chapter to life
00:24:30.926 --> 00:24:32.627
We bring each chapter to life by reading it straight to you.
00:24:32.694 --> 00:24:34.796
By reading it straight to you. >> joyce reading: "god accepts
00:24:34.863 --> 00:24:35.564
>> joyce reading: "god accepts us and loves us
00:24:35.630 --> 00:24:36.731
Us and loves us unconditionally."
00:24:36.798 --> 00:24:38.066
Unconditionally." >> ginger reading: "to say i was
00:24:38.133 --> 00:24:39.367
>> ginger reading: "to say i was brokenhearted is a massive
00:24:39.434 --> 00:24:40.669
Brokenhearted is a massive understatement."
00:24:40.735 --> 00:24:41.636
Understatement." >> ginger: as you listen,
00:24:41.703 --> 00:24:42.637
>> ginger: as you listen, we want to help you move forward
00:24:42.704 --> 00:24:45.307
We want to help you move forward from the pain of rejection,
00:24:45.373 --> 00:24:46.508
From the pain of rejection, receive his healing,
00:24:46.575 --> 00:24:48.410
Receive his healing, and remind you of how
00:24:48.476 --> 00:24:50.011
And remind you of how faithful god is.
00:24:50.078 --> 00:24:51.813
Faithful god is. >> joyce: well, i'm so thankful
00:24:51.880 --> 00:24:53.214
>> joyce: well, i'm so thankful that god doesn't
00:24:53.281 --> 00:24:54.015
That god doesn't leave us in our pain,
00:24:54.082 --> 00:24:55.283
Leave us in our pain, but rather reveals
00:24:55.350 --> 00:24:57.152
But rather reveals to us his healing
00:24:57.218 --> 00:24:58.253
To us his healing through jesus.
00:24:58.320 --> 00:24:59.521
Through jesus. he can heal you
00:24:59.588 --> 00:25:00.455
He can heal you everywhere you hurt.
00:25:00.522 --> 00:25:02.457
Everywhere you hurt. >> announcer: we would
00:25:02.524 --> 00:25:03.258
>> announcer: we would like to send you joyce
00:25:03.325 --> 00:25:04.125
Like to send you joyce and ginger's audiobook,
00:25:04.192 --> 00:25:05.360
And ginger's audiobook, "healing the wounds
00:25:05.427 --> 00:25:06.127
"healing the wounds of rejection."
00:25:06.194 --> 00:25:07.195
Of rejection." it's available to you right
00:25:07.262 --> 00:25:08.229
It's available to you right now for your gift of...
00:25:08.296 --> 00:25:09.798
Now for your gift of... or more.
00:25:09.864 --> 00:25:10.465
Or more. and today,
00:25:10.532 --> 00:25:11.166
And today, we'll also include
00:25:11.232 --> 00:25:12.200
We'll also include the "healing the wounds
00:25:12.267 --> 00:25:13.468
The "healing the wounds of rejection guided journal."
00:25:13.535 --> 00:25:15.270
Of rejection guided journal." >> female 1: we need
00:25:15.337 --> 00:25:16.037
>> female 1: we need books like this.
00:25:16.104 --> 00:25:16.938
Books like this. we need people like
00:25:17.005 --> 00:25:18.273
We need people like this and conversations
00:25:18.340 --> 00:25:19.341
This and conversations that allow us to open up
00:25:19.407 --> 00:25:21.209
That allow us to open up and talk about these issues.
00:25:21.276 --> 00:25:22.477
And talk about these issues. >> male 2: it really resonated
00:25:22.544 --> 00:25:23.511
>> male 2: it really resonated with me when i read that when
00:25:23.578 --> 00:25:24.913
With me when i read that when you're rejecting yourself,
00:25:24.980 --> 00:25:26.314
You're rejecting yourself, you're probably
00:25:26.381 --> 00:25:27.115
You're probably rejecting others.
00:25:27.182 --> 00:25:28.016
Rejecting others. >> female 2: i got to some
00:25:28.083 --> 00:25:29.017
>> female 2: i got to some parts and was like, "oh,
00:25:29.084 --> 00:25:30.719
Parts and was like, "oh, this does apply to me.
00:25:30.785 --> 00:25:32.420
This does apply to me. this applies a little bit
00:25:32.487 --> 00:25:34.556
This applies a little bit more frequently than
00:25:34.623 --> 00:25:35.624
More frequently than i was even aware of."
00:25:35.690 --> 00:25:36.725
I was even aware of." >> female 3: through this book,
00:25:36.791 --> 00:25:37.726
>> female 3: through this book, it's like, god goes,
00:25:37.792 --> 00:25:39.127
It's like, god goes, "no, i've always loved you.
00:25:39.194 --> 00:25:41.496
"no, i've always loved you. you are who i say you are."
00:25:41.563 --> 00:25:43.798
You are who i say you are." >> announcer: don't miss out
00:25:43.865 --> 00:25:44.733
>> announcer: don't miss out on this opportunity
00:25:44.799 --> 00:25:45.367
On this opportunity to listen, reflect, and track
00:25:45.433 --> 00:25:47.669
To listen, reflect, and track your healing journey.
00:25:47.736 --> 00:25:48.770
Joyce and ginger's "healing
00:25:49.170 --> 00:25:50.038
Joyce and ginger's "healing the wounds of rejection"
00:25:50.105 --> 00:25:51.573
The wounds of rejection" audiobook and the "healing
00:25:51.640 --> 00:25:52.540
Audiobook and the "healing the wounds of rejection
00:25:52.607 --> 00:25:53.675
The wounds of rejection guided journal" is available
00:25:53.742 --> 00:25:55.276
Guided journal" is available for your gift of...
00:25:55.343 --> 00:25:56.678
For your gift of... or more.
00:25:56.745 --> 00:25:57.479
Or more. give us a call at...
00:25:57.545 --> 00:26:00.649
Give us a call at... or visit us online at:
00:26:00.715 --> 00:26:02.450
Or visit us online at: joycemeyer.org.
00:26:02.517 --> 00:26:03.652
Joycemeyer.org. and remember,
00:26:03.718 --> 00:26:04.452
And remember, your gift allows us
00:26:04.519 --> 00:26:05.387
Your gift allows us to continue to share
00:26:05.453 --> 00:26:06.621
To continue to share the love of christ
00:26:06.688 --> 00:26:07.389
The love of christ around the world
00:26:07.455 --> 00:26:08.623
Around the world through all
00:26:08.690 --> 00:26:09.124
Through all of our outreaches.
00:26:09.190 --> 00:26:10.091
>> joyce: god loves you
00:26:10.692 --> 00:26:11.359
>> joyce: god loves you unconditionally and accepts
00:26:11.426 --> 00:26:12.961
Unconditionally and accepts you completely.
00:26:13.028 --> 00:26:15.163
>> announcer: come discover
00:26:16.131 --> 00:26:17.198
>> announcer: come discover the beauty as god moves
00:26:17.265 --> 00:26:18.767
The beauty as god moves you toward a life transformed.
00:26:18.833 --> 00:26:21.236
You toward a life transformed. join us for
00:26:21.302 --> 00:26:21.736
Join us for the 2026 love life women's
00:26:21.803 --> 00:26:23.872
The 2026 love life women's conference with joyce
00:26:23.938 --> 00:26:25.807
Conference with joyce and her guests,
00:26:25.874 --> 00:26:26.841
And her guests, christine caine,
00:26:26.908 --> 00:26:28.443
Christine caine, lisa harper,
00:26:28.510 --> 00:26:29.911
Lisa harper, and worship with
00:26:29.978 --> 00:26:30.779
And worship with natalie grant
00:26:30.845 --> 00:26:32.313
Natalie grant and hope darst.
00:26:32.380 --> 00:26:33.581
And hope darst. october 22-24
00:26:33.648 --> 00:26:35.984
October 22-24 in tampa, florida.
00:26:36.051 --> 00:26:37.352
Register today
00:26:37.952 --> 00:26:38.687
Register today and save.
00:26:38.753 --> 00:26:40.121
And save. go to: joycemeyer.org/lovelife.
00:26:40.188 --> 00:26:43.825
>> [♪♪]
00:26:45.527 --> 00:27:12.487
>> announcer: we hope you
00:27:13.521 --> 00:27:14.355
>> announcer: we hope you enjoyed today's program.
00:27:14.422 --> 00:27:16.858
Enjoyed today's program. we are so grateful
00:27:16.925 --> 00:27:18.059
We are so grateful to our joyce meyer
00:27:18.126 --> 00:27:19.094
To our joyce meyer ministries partners
00:27:19.160 --> 00:27:20.161
Ministries partners who make this
00:27:20.228 --> 00:27:20.962
Who make this and all we do possible,
00:27:21.029 --> 00:27:22.464
And all we do possible, including sharing
00:27:22.530 --> 00:27:23.465
Including sharing god's word
00:27:23.531 --> 00:27:24.466
God's word and offering help
00:27:24.532 --> 00:27:25.667
And offering help to people in need
00:27:25.734 --> 00:27:26.968
To people in need all over the world.
00:27:27.035 --> 00:27:28.870

Joyce Meyer - Rejection Hurts

May 27, 2026 | 27:29

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