Joyce Meyer - Rejection Hurts

September 23, 2025 | 29:29

What kind of rejection have you faced? Join Joyce, Ginger, Erin & special guest Lysa TerKeurst for a discussion on hope, healing, and truth about your priceless worth in Christ.

#GodlyWoman #Rejection #Hurting #Choices #Actions #WalkwithGod

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Joyce Meyer: Enjoying Everyday Life | Joyce Meyer - Rejection Hurts | September 23, 2025

>> joyce: well, before we start
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>> joyce: well, before we start today's teaching, i'm personally
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Today's teaching, i'm personally inviting you to this year's
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Inviting you to this year's love life women's conference.
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My special guests and i will
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My special guests and i will share god's word,
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Share god's word, and help you experience
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And help you experience his presence and love,
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His presence and love, in a life-changing way.
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In a life-changing way. i will show you what
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I will show you what it means to be fully his.
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It means to be fully his. take time away from all
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Take time away from all the cares of this world,
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The cares of this world, and focus on the one
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And focus on the one who has your name inscribed
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Who has your name inscribed on the palms of his hands.
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On the palms of his hands. he thinks about you everyday.
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>> lysa: sometimes rejection
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>> lysa: sometimes rejection is a whole lot less about you
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>> lysa: sometimes rejection is a whole lot less about you and a whole lot more about
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Is a whole lot less about you and a whole lot more about whatever's going on inside
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And a whole lot more about whatever's going on inside of the person who rejects you.
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>> joyce: i'm joyce meyer
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>> joyce: i'm joyce meyer and i believe that god can
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>> joyce: i'm joyce meyer and i believe that god can heal you everywhere you hurt.
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>> ginger: hi friends.
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>> ginger: hi friends. welcome to "enjoying
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>> ginger: hi friends. welcome to "enjoying everyday life."
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Welcome to "enjoying everyday life." we're so happy
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Everyday life." we're so happy that you're with us.
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We're so happy that you're with us. for a couple of weeks,
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That you're with us. for a couple of weeks, we've been focusing
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For a couple of weeks, we've been focusing on healing after rejection.
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We've been focusing on healing after rejection. today we continue with
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A guest that you will adore.
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A guest that you will adore. lysa terkeurst says her father
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A guest that you will adore. lysa terkeurst says her father told her repeatedly
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Lysa terkeurst says her father told her repeatedly that he never wanted
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Told her repeatedly that he never wanted to have children,
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That he never wanted to have children, and especially not a girl.
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To have children, and especially not a girl. and amazingly,
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And especially not a girl. and amazingly, that is not the hardest
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And amazingly, that is not the hardest rejection she's faced.
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That is not the hardest rejection she's faced. there is so much
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Rejection she's faced. there is so much to learn together.
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There is so much to learn together. so, here we go.
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>> ginger: well, we have been
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>> ginger: well, we have been talking about the pain
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>> ginger: well, we have been talking about the pain of rejection and how
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Talking about the pain of rejection and how everyone faces it.
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Of rejection and how everyone faces it. but the thing that keeps
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Everyone faces it. but the thing that keeps us talking about this
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But the thing that keeps us talking about this is the fact that there
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Us talking about this is the fact that there is healing from those wounds.
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Is the fact that there is healing from those wounds. >> joyce: yes.
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Is healing from those wounds. >> joyce: yes. >> ginger: that god understands,
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>> joyce: yes. >> ginger: that god understands, and he loves us so much
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>> ginger: that god understands, and he loves us so much and he cries with
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And he loves us so much and he cries with us when we cry.
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And he cries with us when we cry. and he's right there to say,
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Us when we cry. and he's right there to say, "child, not only i'm sorry,
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And he's right there to say, "child, not only i'm sorry, but i have this gift for you
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"child, not only i'm sorry, but i have this gift for you as you've walked through this."
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But i have this gift for you as you've walked through this." and so, with rejection,
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As you've walked through this." and so, with rejection, i'd love to define
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And so, with rejection, i'd love to define it a little bit as we do this.
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I'd love to define it a little bit as we do this. because we've talked about
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It a little bit as we do this. because we've talked about some of our experiences,
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Because we've talked about some of our experiences, and we have many more
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Some of our experiences, and we have many more experiences to share about this.
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And we have many more experiences to share about this. but when you talk
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Experiences to share about this. but when you talk about what rejection is,
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But when you talk about what rejection is, it can come in so many
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Different forms.
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Different forms. it slips into our lives from
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Different forms. it slips into our lives from so many different angles.
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It slips into our lives from so many different angles. so, how would you guys
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So many different angles. so, how would you guys define what rejection
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So, how would you guys define what rejection has been in your life?
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Define what rejection has been in your life? or how would you describe it?
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Has been in your life? or how would you describe it? >> joyce: "to be unwanted,
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Or how would you describe it? >> joyce: "to be unwanted, to be looked
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>> joyce: "to be unwanted, to be looked at as having no value,
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To be looked at as having no value, to be looked at as trash,
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At as having no value, to be looked at as trash, to be thrown away."
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To be looked at as trash, to be thrown away." everybody wants to be accepted
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To be thrown away." everybody wants to be accepted because god has created
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Everybody wants to be accepted because god has created us for acceptance.
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Because god has created us for acceptance. he didn't create
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Us for acceptance. he didn't create us for rejection.
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He didn't create us for rejection. and so, i believe that along
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Us for rejection. and so, i believe that along with unforgiveness,
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And so, i believe that along with unforgiveness, that rejection is one
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With unforgiveness, that rejection is one of the biggest tools that
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That rejection is one of the biggest tools that the enemy uses to keep
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Of the biggest tools that the enemy uses to keep us from the promotions
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The enemy uses to keep us from the promotions that god has for us.
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Us from the promotions that god has for us. >> erin: that's so true.
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That god has for us. >> erin: that's so true. >> joyce: and i experienced
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>> erin: that's so true. >> joyce: and i experienced that on a personal level.
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>> joyce: and i experienced that on a personal level. as i look back at my life,
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That on a personal level. as i look back at my life, i can see where at every major
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As i look back at my life, i can see where at every major junction where god was ready
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I can see where at every major junction where god was ready to promote me to the next
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Junction where god was ready to promote me to the next level of my ministry--
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To promote me to the next level of my ministry-- because i taught home
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Level of my ministry-- because i taught home bible studies for five years,
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Because i taught home bible studies for five years, and then i worked
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Bible studies for five years, and then i worked at a church for five years
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And then i worked at a church for five years and then started
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At a church for five years and then started the joyce meyer ministries.
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And then started the joyce meyer ministries. and every time right during
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The joyce meyer ministries. and every time right during that transition when god
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And every time right during that transition when god was trying to get me to make
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That transition when god was trying to get me to make the decision, you know, to go,
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Was trying to get me to make the decision, you know, to go, i would have a major
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The decision, you know, to go, i would have a major attack of rejection
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I would have a major attack of rejection on this level.
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>> ginger: yeah,
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>> ginger: yeah, i felt like rejection--
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>> ginger: yeah, i felt like rejection-- and this is not
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I felt like rejection-- and this is not an actual definition,
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And this is not an actual definition, but it's what it feels like--
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An actual definition, but it's what it feels like-- "it's when the devil uses
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But it's what it feels like-- "it's when the devil uses somebody else to confirm
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"it's when the devil uses somebody else to confirm those secret suspicions
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That you have about yourself."
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That you have about yourself." >> erin: that's so good.
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That you have about yourself." >> erin: that's so good. i agree with that.
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>> erin: that's so good. i agree with that. >> ginger: that "you're
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I agree with that. >> ginger: that "you're not good enough."
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>> ginger: that "you're not good enough." like you were saying, joyce,
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Not good enough." like you were saying, joyce, that "you're unwanted,"
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Like you were saying, joyce, that "you're unwanted," that "you are not
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That "you're unwanted," that "you are not going to succeed."
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That "you are not going to succeed." that all of those things,
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Going to succeed." that all of those things, it's like somehow,
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That all of those things, it's like somehow, they know exactly
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It's like somehow, they know exactly what needs to be said.
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They know exactly what needs to be said. and it's because, you know,
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What needs to be said. and it's because, you know, satan just uses that to sink
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And it's because, you know, satan just uses that to sink into our spirit and say,
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Satan just uses that to sink into our spirit and say, "oh, you know, i thought that
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Into our spirit and say, "oh, you know, i thought that and now i have proof."
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"oh, you know, i thought that and now i have proof." >> erin: in areas that you
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And now i have proof." >> erin: in areas that you are already insecure in.
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>> erin: in areas that you are already insecure in. >> ginger: exactly.
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Are already insecure in. >> ginger: exactly. >> erin: that feeds that lie.
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>> ginger: exactly. >> erin: that feeds that lie. that's so good.
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>> erin: that feeds that lie. that's so good. >> lysa: yeah, and i would
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That's so good. >> lysa: yeah, and i would say mine's very similar.
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It's like, as a child,
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It's like, as a child, there were lines that were
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It's like, as a child, there were lines that were spoken over me that then
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There were lines that were spoken over me that then became lies that i believed
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Spoken over me that then became lies that i believed about myself and about
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Became lies that i believed about myself and about the world and about god
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About myself and about the world and about god and about other people.
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The world and about god and about other people. so, the lines spoken
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Over me became lies,
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Over me became lies, and then those lies became
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Over me became lies, and then those lies became labels that put great
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And then those lies became labels that put great limitations--that i put great
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Labels that put great limitations--that i put great limitations on my life
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Limitations--that i put great limitations on my life because of these labels.
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Limitations on my life because of these labels. and then those became
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Because of these labels. and then those became liabilities in all my future
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And then those became liabilities in all my future relationships.
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Liabilities in all my future relationships. and so, for me,
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Relationships. and so, for me, rejection was where,
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And so, for me, rejection was where, in my mind, i would diminish
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Rejection was where, in my mind, i would diminish the best of who i am
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In my mind, i would diminish the best of who i am because of the worst
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The best of who i am because of the worst of what's been said to me.
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Because of the worst of what's been said to me. >> ginger: oh, that's a great
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Of what's been said to me. >> ginger: oh, that's a great way to describe it.
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>> ginger: oh, that's a great way to describe it. and it hurts so much...
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Way to describe it. and it hurts so much... >> lysa: so much.
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And it hurts so much... >> lysa: so much. >> ginger: when that happens.
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>> lysa: so much. >> ginger: when that happens. >> erin: yeah, because you
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>> ginger: when that happens. >> erin: yeah, because you kind of shrink down.
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>> erin: yeah, because you kind of shrink down. that is really interesting.
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Kind of shrink down. that is really interesting. i haven't thought
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That is really interesting. i haven't thought about that before.
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But you do, when you
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But you do, when you feel rejected or someone
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But you do, when you feel rejected or someone has said something about you,
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Feel rejected or someone has said something about you, it does internally
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Has said something about you, it does internally cause me to feel like,
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It does internally cause me to feel like, "well, i am not enough,
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Cause me to feel like, "well, i am not enough, like i thought."
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"well, i am not enough, like i thought." and just you can feel yourself
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Like i thought." and just you can feel yourself becoming smaller.
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And just you can feel yourself becoming smaller. >> lysa: and fear plays
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Becoming smaller. >> lysa: and fear plays a great part in that too.
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>> lysa: and fear plays a great part in that too. because then i become
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A great part in that too. because then i become afraid to risk something.
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Because then i become afraid to risk something. like you said, risk stepping out
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Afraid to risk something. like you said, risk stepping out in a greater aspect of ministry,
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Like you said, risk stepping out in a greater aspect of ministry, or risk a new relationship.
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In a greater aspect of ministry, or risk a new relationship. because every relationship
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Or risk a new relationship. because every relationship requires risk.
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Because every relationship requires risk. every human interaction
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Requires risk. every human interaction has a little bit of risk in it.
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Every human interaction has a little bit of risk in it. and so, if the threat
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Has a little bit of risk in it. and so, if the threat of rejection, whether it's real
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And so, if the threat of rejection, whether it's real or perceived in our mind,
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Of rejection, whether it's real or perceived in our mind, the fear of that can make
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Or perceived in our mind, the fear of that can make us back off and just
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The fear of that can make us back off and just not wanna step out.
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Us back off and just not wanna step out. >> joyce: i think it can also
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Not wanna step out. >> joyce: i think it can also cause us to develop
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>> joyce: i think it can also cause us to develop a false personality.
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Cause us to develop a false personality. you know,
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A false personality. you know, we're afraid to let people
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You know, we're afraid to let people see who we really are.
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We're afraid to let people see who we really are. >> ginger: like a mask.
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See who we really are. >> ginger: like a mask. >> joyce: we think we're bad.
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>> ginger: like a mask. >> joyce: we think we're bad. and so, we try to be what
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>> joyce: we think we're bad. and so, we try to be what we think they want us to be.
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And so, we try to be what we think they want us to be. and it's not really who we are.
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And so, we're miserable.
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And so, we're miserable. and, you know, it's not
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And so, we're miserable. and, you know, it's not god's will for us to do that.
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And, you know, it's not god's will for us to do that. >> ginger: and the thing
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God's will for us to do that. >> ginger: and the thing about that is people can
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>> ginger: and the thing about that is people can see right through it.
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About that is people can see right through it. we think they can't.
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See right through it. we think they can't. we think we're fooling everyone
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We think they can't. we think we're fooling everyone by putting up this facade
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We think we're fooling everyone by putting up this facade of who we think they want.
00:06:17.867 --> 00:06:18.768
By putting up this facade of who we think they want. >> joyce: and they may
00:06:18.835 --> 00:06:19.669
Of who we think they want. >> joyce: and they may not know what it is,
00:06:19.735 --> 00:06:20.436
>> joyce: and they may not know what it is, but they know something is not
00:06:20.503 --> 00:06:21.537
Not know what it is, but they know something is not right about the relationship.
00:06:21.604 --> 00:06:23.072
But they know something is not right about the relationship. >> ginger: exactly, exactly.
00:06:23.139 --> 00:06:24.440
Right about the relationship. >> ginger: exactly, exactly. and then that just opens
00:06:24.507 --> 00:06:25.541
>> ginger: exactly, exactly. and then that just opens us up to more rejection.
00:06:25.608 --> 00:06:26.909
And then that just opens us up to more rejection. >> joyce: right.
00:06:26.976 --> 00:06:27.443
Us up to more rejection. >> joyce: right. >> ginger: so, it really
00:06:27.510 --> 00:06:28.244
>> joyce: right. >> ginger: so, it really is kind of not only
00:06:28.311 --> 00:06:29.278
>> ginger: so, it really is kind of not only self-fulfilling prophecy,
00:06:29.345 --> 00:06:32.248
Is kind of not only self-fulfilling prophecy, but it's a snowball that just
00:06:32.315 --> 00:06:33.449
Self-fulfilling prophecy, but it's a snowball that just gets bigger and bigger
00:06:33.516 --> 00:06:34.750
But it's a snowball that just gets bigger and bigger as you continue to roll
00:06:34.817 --> 00:06:36.452
Gets bigger and bigger as you continue to roll down the hill with it.
00:06:36.519 --> 00:06:37.753
As you continue to roll down the hill with it. >> joyce: and if you're
00:06:37.820 --> 00:06:38.521
Down the hill with it. >> joyce: and if you're rooted in rejection,
00:06:38.588 --> 00:06:39.222
>> joyce: and if you're rooted in rejection, which means it got started
00:06:39.288 --> 00:06:40.256
Rooted in rejection, which means it got started early in your life,
00:06:40.323 --> 00:06:41.958
Which means it got started early in your life, sometimes that has so many
00:06:42.024 --> 00:06:44.026
Early in your life, sometimes that has so many tentacles and they go in so many
00:06:44.093 --> 00:06:46.262
Sometimes that has so many tentacles and they go in so many different directions that you
00:06:46.329 --> 00:06:48.364
Tentacles and they go in so many different directions that you can have all kinds of problems
00:06:48.431 --> 00:06:49.632
Different directions that you can have all kinds of problems and you don't even realize
00:06:49.699 --> 00:06:51.667
Can have all kinds of problems and you don't even realize what they're coming from.
00:06:51.734 --> 00:06:52.969
And you don't even realize what they're coming from. >> ginger: so, lysa,
00:06:53.035 --> 00:06:54.103
What they're coming from. >> ginger: so, lysa, help us with a little bit
00:06:54.170 --> 00:06:56.506
>> ginger: so, lysa, help us with a little bit of what you've experienced.
00:06:56.572 --> 00:06:58.307
Help us with a little bit of what you've experienced. because like joyce
00:06:58.374 --> 00:07:00.576
Of what you've experienced. because like joyce was talking about,
00:07:00.643 --> 00:07:01.677
Because like joyce was talking about, you also felt some
00:07:01.744 --> 00:07:02.612
Was talking about, you also felt some rejection from your own father.
00:07:02.678 --> 00:07:04.380
You also felt some rejection from your own father. is that right?
00:07:04.447 --> 00:07:05.281
Rejection from your own father. is that right? >> lysa: that's right,
00:07:05.348 --> 00:07:05.982
Is that right? >> lysa: that's right, yes.
00:07:06.048 --> 00:07:07.383
>> lysa: that's right, yes. he never wanted children;
00:07:07.450 --> 00:07:09.619
Yes. he never wanted children; was pretty vocal about that.
00:07:09.685 --> 00:07:12.855
He never wanted children; was pretty vocal about that. and who knows,
00:07:12.922 --> 00:07:14.156
Was pretty vocal about that. and who knows, maybe as a child i only heard
00:07:14.223 --> 00:07:15.458
And who knows, maybe as a child i only heard him say it a handful of times.
00:07:15.525 --> 00:07:16.926
Maybe as a child i only heard him say it a handful of times. but in my mind,
00:07:16.993 --> 00:07:18.027
Him say it a handful of times. but in my mind, it is the memory that i have
00:07:18.094 --> 00:07:20.663
But in my mind, it is the memory that i have of my dad as a childhood--
00:07:20.730 --> 00:07:22.231
It is the memory that i have of my dad as a childhood-- just being very stern about
00:07:22.298 --> 00:07:24.066
Of my dad as a childhood-- just being very stern about how he never wanted children,
00:07:24.133 --> 00:07:25.134
Just being very stern about how he never wanted children, especially not a girl.
00:07:25.201 --> 00:07:27.203
How he never wanted children, especially not a girl. >> ginger: oh my.
00:07:27.270 --> 00:07:27.870
Especially not a girl. >> ginger: oh my. >> lysa: and you know,
00:07:27.937 --> 00:07:28.638
>> ginger: oh my. >> lysa: and you know, sometimes--
00:07:28.704 --> 00:07:28.971
>> lysa: and you know, sometimes-- >> ginger: that's so hurtful.
00:07:29.038 --> 00:07:29.705
Sometimes-- >> ginger: that's so hurtful. >> lysa: it is.
00:07:29.772 --> 00:07:30.706
>> ginger: that's so hurtful. >> lysa: it is. and sometimes, you know,
00:07:30.773 --> 00:07:32.308
>> lysa: it is. and sometimes, you know, when you hear something like
00:07:32.375 --> 00:07:33.442
And sometimes, you know, when you hear something like that as a child from someone
00:07:33.509 --> 00:07:35.878
When you hear something like that as a child from someone that you respect especially,
00:07:35.945 --> 00:07:37.480
That as a child from someone that you respect especially, it can feel like that
00:07:37.547 --> 00:07:39.715
That you respect especially, it can feel like that is the truth about me.
00:07:39.782 --> 00:07:41.517
It can feel like that is the truth about me. like that "i'm unwanted."
00:07:41.584 --> 00:07:43.920
Is the truth about me. like that "i'm unwanted." and i developed this shame
00:07:43.986 --> 00:07:46.222
Like that "i'm unwanted." and i developed this shame script in my mind that
00:07:46.289 --> 00:07:47.757
And i developed this shame script in my mind that even to this day--
00:07:47.823 --> 00:07:49.225
Script in my mind that even to this day-- i've gotten so much healing
00:07:49.292 --> 00:07:50.493
Even to this day-- i've gotten so much healing and so much freedom.
00:07:50.560 --> 00:07:51.394
I've gotten so much healing and so much freedom. but even to this day,
00:07:51.460 --> 00:07:53.496
And so much freedom. but even to this day, if i'm not careful,
00:07:53.563 --> 00:07:54.664
But even to this day, if i'm not careful, i can catch myself
00:07:54.730 --> 00:07:56.098
If i'm not careful, i can catch myself navigating things,
00:07:56.165 --> 00:07:57.633
I can catch myself navigating things, because that same old
00:07:57.700 --> 00:07:58.935
Navigating things, because that same old shame script every now
00:07:59.001 --> 00:08:00.136
Because that same old shame script every now and then will just, like,
00:08:00.202 --> 00:08:01.537
Shame script every now and then will just, like, reappear in my mind
00:08:01.604 --> 00:08:03.272
And then will just, like, reappear in my mind without me even knowing it.
00:08:03.339 --> 00:08:04.774
Reappear in my mind without me even knowing it. and that is, "lysa, be careful.
00:08:04.840 --> 00:08:07.877
Without me even knowing it. and that is, "lysa, be careful. be careful not to depend too
00:08:07.944 --> 00:08:10.046
And that is, "lysa, be careful. be careful not to depend too much on other people,
00:08:10.112 --> 00:08:11.113
Be careful not to depend too much on other people, cause they'll let you down.
00:08:11.180 --> 00:08:12.782
Much on other people, cause they'll let you down. and also, they'll start
00:08:12.848 --> 00:08:14.083
Cause they'll let you down. and also, they'll start to see you as a terrible
00:08:14.150 --> 00:08:15.952
And also, they'll start to see you as a terrible inconvenience."
00:08:16.018 --> 00:08:16.852
To see you as a terrible inconvenience." and if i'm not--
00:08:16.919 --> 00:08:18.788
Inconvenience." and if i'm not-- if i am not really thinking
00:08:18.854 --> 00:08:20.790
And if i'm not-- if i am not really thinking through some of the thoughts
00:08:20.856 --> 00:08:23.492
If i am not really thinking through some of the thoughts that run like a ticker tape
00:08:23.559 --> 00:08:24.894
Through some of the thoughts that run like a ticker tape behind the scenes in my mind,
00:08:24.961 --> 00:08:27.229
That run like a ticker tape behind the scenes in my mind, i can find that that thought
00:08:27.296 --> 00:08:30.433
Behind the scenes in my mind, i can find that that thought is causing me then to navigate
00:08:30.499 --> 00:08:32.868
I can find that that thought is causing me then to navigate certain relationships in ways
00:08:32.935 --> 00:08:34.570
Is causing me then to navigate certain relationships in ways that i probably wouldn't
00:08:34.637 --> 00:08:35.838
Certain relationships in ways that i probably wouldn't if i wasn't so concerned.
00:08:35.905 --> 00:08:37.773
That i probably wouldn't if i wasn't so concerned. like, i'm real hesitant
00:08:37.840 --> 00:08:38.774
If i wasn't so concerned. like, i'm real hesitant sometimes to have people,
00:08:38.841 --> 00:08:41.143
Like, i'm real hesitant sometimes to have people, when they offer to do something,
00:08:41.210 --> 00:08:42.578
Sometimes to have people, when they offer to do something, i'm real hesitant
00:08:42.645 --> 00:08:43.646
When they offer to do something, i'm real hesitant to accept help,
00:08:43.713 --> 00:08:44.947
I'm real hesitant to accept help, to accept their help, you know,
00:08:45.014 --> 00:08:46.949
To accept help, to accept their help, you know, because i just think,
00:08:47.016 --> 00:08:47.984
To accept their help, you know, because i just think, "don't inconvenience them.
00:08:48.050 --> 00:08:48.718
Because i just think, "don't inconvenience them. don't inconvenience them.
00:08:48.784 --> 00:08:49.585
"don't inconvenience them. don't inconvenience them. cause if you do, then eventually
00:08:49.652 --> 00:08:52.355
Don't inconvenience them. cause if you do, then eventually they're gonna get tired of you
00:08:52.421 --> 00:08:53.489
Cause if you do, then eventually they're gonna get tired of you and they're gonna reject you."
00:08:53.556 --> 00:08:55.024
They're gonna get tired of you and they're gonna reject you." and it's just amazing how
00:08:55.091 --> 00:08:56.993
And they're gonna reject you." and it's just amazing how subtle this is and how it can
00:08:57.059 --> 00:08:59.495
And it's just amazing how subtle this is and how it can creep back into your life.
00:08:59.562 --> 00:09:00.696
Subtle this is and how it can creep back into your life. but the secret is,
00:09:00.763 --> 00:09:01.664
Creep back into your life. but the secret is, i'm aware of it now.
00:09:01.731 --> 00:09:03.065
But the secret is, i'm aware of it now. and i think awareness
00:09:03.132 --> 00:09:04.867
I'm aware of it now. and i think awareness is really, really key.
00:09:04.934 --> 00:09:06.469
And i think awareness is really, really key. i had to get to a place
00:09:06.535 --> 00:09:08.871
Is really, really key. i had to get to a place in my life where i needed
00:09:08.938 --> 00:09:11.641
I had to get to a place in my life where i needed to learn to live from
00:09:11.707 --> 00:09:13.976
In my life where i needed to learn to live from a place of love.
00:09:14.043 --> 00:09:14.844
To learn to live from a place of love. like, live loved.
00:09:14.910 --> 00:09:17.179
A place of love. like, live loved. and there's a big
00:09:17.246 --> 00:09:18.047
Like, live loved. and there's a big difference between that--
00:09:18.114 --> 00:09:20.416
And there's a big difference between that-- like, having the perspective
00:09:20.483 --> 00:09:22.018
Difference between that-- like, having the perspective that "i am living from a place
00:09:22.084 --> 00:09:23.819
Like, having the perspective that "i am living from a place of love and acceptance
00:09:23.886 --> 00:09:24.887
That "i am living from a place of love and acceptance because god loves me.
00:09:24.954 --> 00:09:26.055
Of love and acceptance because god loves me. i am a child of god,
00:09:26.122 --> 00:09:27.490
Because god loves me. i am a child of god, holy and dearly loved."
00:09:27.556 --> 00:09:28.724
I am a child of god, holy and dearly loved." and living from a place
00:09:28.791 --> 00:09:30.159
Holy and dearly loved." and living from a place of that acceptance and love
00:09:30.226 --> 00:09:31.827
And living from a place of that acceptance and love is so different than living for
00:09:31.894 --> 00:09:33.262
Of that acceptance and love is so different than living for others' acceptance and love
00:09:33.329 --> 00:09:35.064
Is so different than living for others' acceptance and love and that kind of desperation
00:09:35.131 --> 00:09:37.299
Others' acceptance and love and that kind of desperation can sometimes really
00:09:37.366 --> 00:09:38.634
And that kind of desperation can sometimes really lead to degradation.
00:09:38.701 --> 00:09:40.536
Like, we'll diminish
00:09:41.137 --> 00:09:41.904
Like, we'll diminish the best of who we are,
00:09:41.971 --> 00:09:44.006
Like, we'll diminish the best of who we are, or we'll be attracted
00:09:44.073 --> 00:09:45.074
The best of who we are, or we'll be attracted to relationships that we really
00:09:45.141 --> 00:09:47.076
Or we'll be attracted to relationships that we really shouldn't be in or whatever,
00:09:47.143 --> 00:09:48.978
To relationships that we really shouldn't be in or whatever, just because we're so desperate
00:09:49.045 --> 00:09:50.179
Shouldn't be in or whatever, just because we're so desperate to have someone say,
00:09:50.246 --> 00:09:51.247
Just because we're so desperate to have someone say, "you're worthy, you're loved,
00:09:51.313 --> 00:09:53.215
To have someone say, "you're worthy, you're loved, you're accepted."
00:09:53.282 --> 00:09:53.949
"you're worthy, you're loved, you're accepted." >> ginger: oh,
00:09:54.016 --> 00:09:54.617
You're accepted." >> ginger: oh, that happens to so many,
00:09:54.684 --> 00:09:55.584
>> ginger: oh, that happens to so many, so many women, especially.
00:09:55.651 --> 00:09:57.586
That happens to so many, so many women, especially. like, "if i haven't received
00:09:57.653 --> 00:09:59.388
So many women, especially. like, "if i haven't received that acceptance,
00:09:59.455 --> 00:10:00.289
Like, "if i haven't received that acceptance, i will find it."
00:10:00.356 --> 00:10:02.091
That acceptance, i will find it." and often it's not from
00:10:02.158 --> 00:10:04.593
I will find it." and often it's not from a source that is going
00:10:04.660 --> 00:10:05.795
And often it's not from a source that is going to be good for you.
00:10:05.861 --> 00:10:06.696
And then again, you're walking
00:10:06.762 --> 00:10:08.864
And then again, you're walking down that path once again.
00:10:08.931 --> 00:10:10.132
And then again, you're walking down that path once again. >> erin: that explains a lot
00:10:10.199 --> 00:10:11.067
Down that path once again. >> erin: that explains a lot of the boys i dated in high
00:10:11.133 --> 00:10:12.101
>> erin: that explains a lot of the boys i dated in high school because i just wanted
00:10:12.168 --> 00:10:14.003
Of the boys i dated in high school because i just wanted someone tell me i was pretty
00:10:14.070 --> 00:10:15.171
School because i just wanted someone tell me i was pretty and be the one that they picked,
00:10:15.237 --> 00:10:16.939
Someone tell me i was pretty and be the one that they picked, so i would--
00:10:17.006 --> 00:10:17.807
And be the one that they picked, so i would-- now, i was smart
00:10:17.873 --> 00:10:19.275
So i would-- now, i was smart at the same time.
00:10:19.341 --> 00:10:20.443
Now, i was smart at the same time. smart as you can
00:10:20.509 --> 00:10:21.110
At the same time. smart as you can be in high school,
00:10:21.177 --> 00:10:21.744
Smart as you can be in high school, but still, like,
00:10:21.811 --> 00:10:22.645
Be in high school, but still, like, because i had the holy spirit,
00:10:22.712 --> 00:10:23.846
But still, like, because i had the holy spirit, i didn't make too
00:10:23.913 --> 00:10:24.680
Because i had the holy spirit, i didn't make too stupid of choices.
00:10:24.747 --> 00:10:25.448
I didn't make too stupid of choices. but i know i dated boys because
00:10:25.514 --> 00:10:27.483
Stupid of choices. but i know i dated boys because they made me feel good,
00:10:27.550 --> 00:10:28.784
But i know i dated boys because they made me feel good, because they told me i was
00:10:28.851 --> 00:10:29.952
They made me feel good, because they told me i was pretty and thought i was fun.
00:10:30.019 --> 00:10:30.853
Because they told me i was pretty and thought i was fun. and i just so desperately
00:10:30.920 --> 00:10:32.688
Pretty and thought i was fun. and i just so desperately wanted that.
00:10:32.755 --> 00:10:33.489
And i just so desperately wanted that. >> lysa: you wanted
00:10:33.556 --> 00:10:34.156
Wanted that. >> lysa: you wanted that validation
00:10:34.223 --> 00:10:34.824
>> lysa: you wanted that validation and that confirmation,
00:10:34.890 --> 00:10:35.891
That validation and that confirmation, that acceptance.
00:10:35.958 --> 00:10:36.625
And that confirmation, that acceptance. >> erin: absolutely, yeah.
00:10:36.692 --> 00:10:38.027
That acceptance. >> erin: absolutely, yeah. >> lysa: i think the hardest
00:10:38.094 --> 00:10:39.195
>> erin: absolutely, yeah. >> lysa: i think the hardest rejection that i've ever faced,
00:10:39.261 --> 00:10:42.631
>> lysa: i think the hardest rejection that i've ever faced, though, wasn't necessarily
00:10:42.698 --> 00:10:44.867
Rejection that i've ever faced, though, wasn't necessarily the rejection of my dad.
00:10:44.934 --> 00:10:47.503
Though, wasn't necessarily the rejection of my dad. it was the rejection
00:10:47.570 --> 00:10:48.637
The rejection of my dad. it was the rejection of my husband,
00:10:48.704 --> 00:10:50.039
It was the rejection of my husband, and he's now my ex-husband.
00:10:50.106 --> 00:10:52.475
Of my husband, and he's now my ex-husband. and it's so hard for me
00:10:52.541 --> 00:10:53.576
And he's now my ex-husband. and it's so hard for me to even say those words,
00:10:53.642 --> 00:10:54.443
And it's so hard for me to even say those words, even all these years later.
00:10:54.510 --> 00:10:56.078
To even say those words, even all these years later. it's just, like,
00:10:56.145 --> 00:10:56.946
Even all these years later. it's just, like, so unbelievable.
00:10:57.012 --> 00:10:59.548
It's just, like, so unbelievable. and, you know,
00:10:59.615 --> 00:11:01.183
So unbelievable. and, you know, the ironic thing was,
00:11:01.250 --> 00:11:02.351
And, you know, the ironic thing was, in 2014 and 2015,
00:11:02.418 --> 00:11:06.055
The ironic thing was, in 2014 and 2015, my then, husband,
00:11:06.122 --> 00:11:07.590
In 2014 and 2015, my then, husband, was living a double life.
00:11:07.656 --> 00:11:09.825
My then, husband, was living a double life. i had no idea.
00:11:09.892 --> 00:11:11.026
Was living a double life. i had no idea. no idea.
00:11:11.093 --> 00:11:11.794
I had no idea. no idea. and i wrote a book on rejection
00:11:11.861 --> 00:11:14.964
No idea. and i wrote a book on rejection during that season.
00:11:15.030 --> 00:11:16.465
And i wrote a book on rejection during that season. and i had no earthly idea
00:11:16.532 --> 00:11:18.534
During that season. and i had no earthly idea that when i was writing
00:11:18.601 --> 00:11:19.602
And i had no earthly idea that when i was writing the book on rejection,
00:11:19.668 --> 00:11:20.803
That when i was writing the book on rejection, that it would come out in 2016,
00:11:20.870 --> 00:11:23.672
The book on rejection, that it would come out in 2016, the year that i found out what
00:11:23.739 --> 00:11:25.875
That it would come out in 2016, the year that i found out what was happening with him.
00:11:25.941 --> 00:11:26.942
The year that i found out what was happening with him. >> ginger: oh,
00:11:27.009 --> 00:11:27.576
Was happening with him. >> ginger: oh, so you were writing the book
00:11:27.643 --> 00:11:29.945
>> ginger: oh, so you were writing the book and through that process,
00:11:30.012 --> 00:11:31.380
So you were writing the book and through that process, this happened?
00:11:31.447 --> 00:11:32.047
And through that process, this happened? >> lysa: yes.
00:11:32.114 --> 00:11:32.915
This happened? >> lysa: yes. and so, i was doing final
00:11:32.982 --> 00:11:34.850
>> lysa: yes. and so, i was doing final page proofs early 2016,
00:11:34.917 --> 00:11:37.353
And so, i was doing final page proofs early 2016, february 2016.
00:11:37.419 --> 00:11:38.521
Page proofs early 2016, february 2016. the book was coming
00:11:38.587 --> 00:11:39.188
February 2016. the book was coming out in the fall of 2016.
00:11:39.255 --> 00:11:41.123
The book was coming out in the fall of 2016. i was doing early page proofs,
00:11:41.190 --> 00:11:42.691
Out in the fall of 2016. i was doing early page proofs, which is like the final step
00:11:42.758 --> 00:11:44.193
I was doing early page proofs, which is like the final step before the book goes to print.
00:11:44.260 --> 00:11:46.095
Which is like the final step before the book goes to print. and i became aware that
00:11:46.162 --> 00:11:48.564
Before the book goes to print. and i became aware that my husband had been
00:11:48.631 --> 00:11:49.999
And i became aware that my husband had been having affairs.
00:11:50.065 --> 00:11:50.699
My husband had been having affairs. and i not only at that point
00:11:50.766 --> 00:11:54.403
Having affairs. and i not only at that point became so angry that i had
00:11:54.470 --> 00:11:58.541
And i not only at that point became so angry that i had written a book on rejection
00:11:58.607 --> 00:11:59.775
Became so angry that i had written a book on rejection because now i was gonna have
00:11:59.842 --> 00:12:00.676
Written a book on rejection because now i was gonna have to talk about rejection.
00:12:00.743 --> 00:12:02.511
Because now i was gonna have to talk about rejection. and i was suffering through
00:12:02.578 --> 00:12:04.513
To talk about rejection. and i was suffering through the worst rejection of my life.
00:12:04.580 --> 00:12:06.282
And i was suffering through the worst rejection of my life. but also, i just kept saying,
00:12:06.348 --> 00:12:07.817
The worst rejection of my life. but also, i just kept saying, "god, how could you let
00:12:07.883 --> 00:12:08.918
But also, i just kept saying, "god, how could you let me be in this position?"
00:12:08.984 --> 00:12:10.019
"god, how could you let me be in this position?" and i almost felt a little bit
00:12:10.085 --> 00:12:12.555
Me be in this position?" and i almost felt a little bit like maybe even betrayed by god,
00:12:12.621 --> 00:12:15.024
And i almost felt a little bit like maybe even betrayed by god, you know.
00:12:15.090 --> 00:12:15.491
Like maybe even betrayed by god, you know. >> ginger: i know i went there,
00:12:15.558 --> 00:12:16.525
You know. >> ginger: i know i went there, definitely.
00:12:16.592 --> 00:12:18.027
>> ginger: i know i went there, definitely. >> lysa: yes.
00:12:18.093 --> 00:12:18.694
Definitely. >> lysa: yes. and i'm like, "god,
00:12:18.761 --> 00:12:19.328
>> lysa: yes. and i'm like, "god, you saw what was happening.
00:12:19.395 --> 00:12:20.496
And i'm like, "god, you saw what was happening. you saw that this was happening.
00:12:20.563 --> 00:12:22.464
You saw what was happening. you saw that this was happening. you knew when i was
00:12:22.531 --> 00:12:23.799
You saw that this was happening. you knew when i was gonna find out about it.
00:12:23.866 --> 00:12:25.067
You knew when i was gonna find out about it. and now i've set myself
00:12:25.134 --> 00:12:26.268
Gonna find out about it. and now i've set myself up to publicly talk
00:12:26.335 --> 00:12:27.469
And now i've set myself up to publicly talk about rejection,
00:12:27.536 --> 00:12:28.871
Up to publicly talk about rejection, and i have no idea where
00:12:28.938 --> 00:12:29.805
About rejection, and i have no idea where my story's gonna go now."
00:12:29.872 --> 00:12:31.140
And i have no idea where my story's gonna go now." and very clearly and tenderly,
00:12:31.207 --> 00:12:33.843
My story's gonna go now." and very clearly and tenderly, the lord said,
00:12:33.909 --> 00:12:34.810
And very clearly and tenderly, the lord said, "i had you write the book
00:12:34.877 --> 00:12:36.178
The lord said, "i had you write the book last year that you would
00:12:36.245 --> 00:12:37.446
"i had you write the book last year that you would desperately need
00:12:37.513 --> 00:12:38.280
Last year that you would desperately need yourself this year.
00:12:38.347 --> 00:12:39.281
Desperately need yourself this year. the same truth that you
00:12:39.348 --> 00:12:41.050
Yourself this year. the same truth that you wrote last year--
00:12:41.116 --> 00:12:41.884
The same truth that you wrote last year-- because it wasn't my truth,
00:12:41.951 --> 00:12:42.918
Wrote last year-- because it wasn't my truth, it was god's truth.
00:12:42.985 --> 00:12:43.986
Because it wasn't my truth, it was god's truth. "the same truth you wrote
00:12:44.053 --> 00:12:44.987
It was god's truth. "the same truth you wrote last year is the very truth
00:12:45.054 --> 00:12:47.022
"the same truth you wrote last year is the very truth that you need to be saturated
00:12:47.089 --> 00:12:48.424
Last year is the very truth that you need to be saturated in this year."
00:12:48.490 --> 00:12:49.225
That you need to be saturated in this year." >> erin: he prepared you for it.
00:12:49.291 --> 00:12:50.526
In this year." >> erin: he prepared you for it. >> lysa: he did.
00:12:50.593 --> 00:12:51.160
>> erin: he prepared you for it. >> lysa: he did. he had prepared me for it.
00:12:51.227 --> 00:12:52.528
>> lysa: he did. he had prepared me for it. it still didn't make it easy,
00:12:52.595 --> 00:12:53.829
He had prepared me for it. it still didn't make it easy, but that's where
00:12:53.896 --> 00:12:56.131
It still didn't make it easy, but that's where the rubber meets the road.
00:12:56.198 --> 00:12:57.233
But that's where the rubber meets the road. as a writer, as a teacher,
00:12:57.299 --> 00:12:59.201
The rubber meets the road. as a writer, as a teacher, it's like, "do you really
00:12:59.268 --> 00:13:00.135
As a writer, as a teacher, it's like, "do you really believe the message
00:13:00.202 --> 00:13:01.303
It's like, "do you really believe the message that you're teaching."
00:13:01.370 --> 00:13:02.872
Believe the message that you're teaching." and i realized so many times,
00:13:02.938 --> 00:13:05.207
That you're teaching." and i realized so many times, people reading my books
00:13:05.274 --> 00:13:06.442
And i realized so many times, people reading my books or listening in the audience--
00:13:06.508 --> 00:13:08.878
People reading my books or listening in the audience-- before they ever
00:13:08.944 --> 00:13:10.012
Or listening in the audience-- before they ever wanna be taught,
00:13:10.079 --> 00:13:10.746
Before they ever wanna be taught, they wanna be understood.
00:13:10.813 --> 00:13:12.648
Wanna be taught, they wanna be understood. and, boy, did i understand
00:13:12.715 --> 00:13:14.683
They wanna be understood. and, boy, did i understand the pain in a whole new,
00:13:14.750 --> 00:13:16.218
And, boy, did i understand the pain in a whole new, fresh way.
00:13:16.285 --> 00:13:17.152
>> joyce: and you teach
00:13:17.953 --> 00:13:18.754
>> joyce: and you teach in a totally different
00:13:18.821 --> 00:13:19.355
>> joyce: and you teach in a totally different level when you've really
00:13:19.421 --> 00:13:20.389
In a totally different level when you've really been through what
00:13:20.456 --> 00:13:22.057
Level when you've really been through what you're teaching about.
00:13:22.124 --> 00:13:23.058
Been through what you're teaching about. >> lysa: with extreme
00:13:23.125 --> 00:13:23.826
You're teaching about. >> lysa: with extreme compassion.
00:13:23.893 --> 00:13:24.526
>> lysa: with extreme compassion. >> joyce: right.
00:13:24.593 --> 00:13:25.361
Compassion. >> joyce: right. >> lysa: yeah, just like,
00:13:25.427 --> 00:13:26.295
>> joyce: right. >> lysa: yeah, just like, "man, i'm not gonna
00:13:26.362 --> 00:13:29.331
Teach these things,
00:13:29.398 --> 00:13:30.432
Teach these things, void of the understanding
00:13:30.499 --> 00:13:32.268
Teach these things, void of the understanding of where some of you are at,
00:13:32.334 --> 00:13:33.369
Void of the understanding of where some of you are at, because guess what?
00:13:33.435 --> 00:13:34.236
Of where some of you are at, because guess what? i'm there too."
00:13:34.303 --> 00:13:35.371
Because guess what? i'm there too." >> joyce: i think the biggest
00:13:35.437 --> 00:13:36.272
I'm there too." >> joyce: i think the biggest problem that people have--
00:13:36.338 --> 00:13:39.408
>> joyce: i think the biggest problem that people have-- causes almost all the other
00:13:39.475 --> 00:13:41.610
Problem that people have-- causes almost all the other problems we deal with with
00:13:41.677 --> 00:13:43.012
Causes almost all the other problems we deal with with ourself and with other people,
00:13:43.078 --> 00:13:45.247
Problems we deal with with ourself and with other people, is people just don't
00:13:45.314 --> 00:13:47.116
Ourself and with other people, is people just don't like themselves.
00:13:47.182 --> 00:13:48.317
Is people just don't like themselves. >> erin: yeah, absolutely.
00:13:48.384 --> 00:13:49.251
Like themselves. >> erin: yeah, absolutely. >> joyce: they just--
00:13:49.318 --> 00:13:50.853
>> erin: yeah, absolutely. >> joyce: they just-- they don't like themselves.
00:13:50.920 --> 00:13:52.588
>> joyce: they just-- they don't like themselves. they don't like this about
00:13:52.655 --> 00:13:53.355
They don't like themselves. they don't like this about themselves,
00:13:53.422 --> 00:13:53.856
They don't like this about themselves, they don't like that
00:13:53.923 --> 00:13:54.590
Themselves, they don't like that about themselves.
00:13:54.657 --> 00:13:55.324
They don't like that about themselves. i remember when i didn't
00:13:55.391 --> 00:13:56.225
About themselves. i remember when i didn't like my voice and that's
00:13:56.292 --> 00:13:58.294
I remember when i didn't like my voice and that's the very thing that god
00:13:58.360 --> 00:14:00.095
Like my voice and that's the very thing that god uses around the world.
00:14:00.162 --> 00:14:02.197
The very thing that god uses around the world. and i didn't like this,
00:14:02.264 --> 00:14:03.365
Uses around the world. and i didn't like this, and i didn't like that,
00:14:03.432 --> 00:14:04.300
And i didn't like this, and i didn't like that, and i didn't like
00:14:04.366 --> 00:14:04.867
And i didn't like that, and i didn't like something else.
00:14:04.934 --> 00:14:05.501
And i didn't like something else. i didn't like my personality.
00:14:05.567 --> 00:14:06.535
Something else. i didn't like my personality. i thought i was too abrupt
00:14:06.602 --> 00:14:07.770
I didn't like my personality. i thought i was too abrupt and too rude.
00:14:07.836 --> 00:14:08.737
I thought i was too abrupt and too rude. so, i tried to be real
00:14:08.804 --> 00:14:10.005
And too rude. so, i tried to be real sweet and soft spoken,
00:14:10.072 --> 00:14:11.473
So, i tried to be real sweet and soft spoken, and it just got to be so silly.
00:14:11.540 --> 00:14:13.409
Sweet and soft spoken, and it just got to be so silly. i tried to be so many people.
00:14:13.475 --> 00:14:14.910
And it just got to be so silly. i tried to be so many people. i didn't even know who i was.
00:14:14.977 --> 00:14:16.645
I tried to be so many people. i didn't even know who i was. and i was trying to love
00:14:16.712 --> 00:14:18.847
I didn't even know who i was. and i was trying to love because i was being taught,
00:14:18.914 --> 00:14:20.049
And i was trying to love because i was being taught, "you need to love people,
00:14:20.115 --> 00:14:21.650
Because i was being taught, "you need to love people, love people, love people."
00:14:21.717 --> 00:14:22.518
"you need to love people, love people, love people." and i was really trying
00:14:22.584 --> 00:14:23.285
Love people, love people." and i was really trying to love people.
00:14:23.352 --> 00:14:24.219
And i was really trying to love people. and god finally just said to me,
00:14:24.286 --> 00:14:25.487
To love people. and god finally just said to me, "you can't love anybody
00:14:25.554 --> 00:14:26.355
And god finally just said to me, "you can't love anybody because you don't love yourself.
00:14:26.422 --> 00:14:27.623
"you can't love anybody because you don't love yourself. you don't have any
00:14:27.690 --> 00:14:28.490
Because you don't love yourself. you don't have any love to give away.
00:14:28.557 --> 00:14:29.224
You don't have any love to give away. you can't give away
00:14:29.291 --> 00:14:31.260
Love to give away. you can't give away what you don't have."
00:14:31.327 --> 00:14:32.261
You can't give away what you don't have." and so, you have to start
00:14:32.328 --> 00:14:33.762
What you don't have." and so, you have to start by having that foundation
00:14:33.829 --> 00:14:35.097
And so, you have to start by having that foundation of knowing that god
00:14:35.164 --> 00:14:35.965
By having that foundation of knowing that god loves you and that you
00:14:36.031 --> 00:14:37.366
Of knowing that god loves you and that you are lovable,
00:14:37.433 --> 00:14:38.367
Loves you and that you are lovable, no matter what other
00:14:38.434 --> 00:14:39.768
Are lovable, no matter what other people have told you.
00:14:39.835 --> 00:14:41.203
No matter what other people have told you. now, my husband happens
00:14:41.270 --> 00:14:42.271
People have told you. now, my husband happens to be one of these guys
00:14:42.338 --> 00:14:43.138
Now, my husband happens to be one of these guys that's very confident.
00:14:43.205 --> 00:14:45.474
To be one of these guys that's very confident. if dave was being rejected,
00:14:45.541 --> 00:14:46.675
That's very confident. if dave was being rejected, i don't think he would
00:14:46.742 --> 00:14:47.476
If dave was being rejected, i don't think he would even know it.
00:14:47.543 --> 00:14:48.677
>> [ladies laughing]
00:14:49.211 --> 00:14:50.245
>> [ladies laughing] >> joyce: i don't.
00:14:50.312 --> 00:14:51.714
>> [ladies laughing] >> joyce: i don't. and, you know, i mentioned
00:14:51.780 --> 00:14:53.349
>> joyce: i don't. and, you know, i mentioned something a couple times about,
00:14:53.415 --> 00:14:54.817
And, you know, i mentioned something a couple times about, "well, you know, they're really
00:14:54.883 --> 00:14:57.219
Something a couple times about, "well, you know, they're really kind of rejecting you.
00:14:57.286 --> 00:14:58.554
"well, you know, they're really kind of rejecting you. they're not--
00:14:58.620 --> 00:15:00.155
Kind of rejecting you. they're not-- they never call
00:15:00.222 --> 00:15:00.789
They're not-- they never call you to play golf.
00:15:00.856 --> 00:15:01.590
They never call you to play golf. it's always you calling them."
00:15:01.657 --> 00:15:02.558
You to play golf. it's always you calling them." and he's like,
00:15:02.624 --> 00:15:03.192
It's always you calling them." and he's like, "well, that's their problem,
00:15:03.258 --> 00:15:04.093
And he's like, "well, that's their problem, not mine."
00:15:04.159 --> 00:15:06.195
"well, that's their problem, not mine." >> erin: free way to live.
00:15:06.261 --> 00:15:07.563
Not mine." >> erin: free way to live. >> joyce: yeah.
00:15:07.629 --> 00:15:08.097
>> erin: free way to live. >> joyce: yeah. but he had some very
00:15:08.163 --> 00:15:08.831
>> joyce: yeah. but he had some very strong experiences with
00:15:08.897 --> 00:15:10.532
But he had some very strong experiences with god when he was very young.
00:15:10.599 --> 00:15:12.201
Strong experiences with god when he was very young. and i think he got his
00:15:12.267 --> 00:15:14.203
God when he was very young. and i think he got his confidence from that because
00:15:14.269 --> 00:15:16.071
And i think he got his confidence from that because his dad was out of his life.
00:15:16.138 --> 00:15:17.306
Confidence from that because his dad was out of his life. he was an alcoholic
00:15:17.373 --> 00:15:20.275
And just kind of stayed away
00:15:20.342 --> 00:15:21.910
And just kind of stayed away from everybody all the time.
00:15:21.977 --> 00:15:22.811
And just kind of stayed away from everybody all the time. his mom was great.
00:15:22.878 --> 00:15:24.480
From everybody all the time. his mom was great. she really took him
00:15:24.546 --> 00:15:25.114
His mom was great. she really took him to church and taught
00:15:25.180 --> 00:15:25.914
She really took him to church and taught him a good foundation.
00:15:25.981 --> 00:15:27.449
To church and taught him a good foundation. and somewhere along the line,
00:15:27.516 --> 00:15:28.684
Him a good foundation. and somewhere along the line, he just--
00:15:28.751 --> 00:15:31.320
And somewhere along the line, he just-- he likes who he is.
00:15:31.387 --> 00:15:32.121
He just-- he likes who he is. he's not trying to be anybody
00:15:32.187 --> 00:15:33.222
He likes who he is. he's not trying to be anybody other than who he is.
00:15:33.288 --> 00:15:34.123
He's not trying to be anybody other than who he is. and he's just confident.
00:15:34.189 --> 00:15:36.058
Other than who he is. and he's just confident. but it always cracks
00:15:36.125 --> 00:15:37.192
And he's just confident. but it always cracks me up if i say, "well, you know,
00:15:37.259 --> 00:15:40.629
But it always cracks me up if i say, "well, you know, you made so and so mad."
00:15:40.696 --> 00:15:42.064
Me up if i say, "well, you know, you made so and so mad." he's like, "well, i wasn't
00:15:42.131 --> 00:15:43.232
You made so and so mad." he's like, "well, i wasn't trying to make 'em mad.
00:15:43.298 --> 00:15:43.966
He's like, "well, i wasn't trying to make 'em mad. so, if they got mad,
00:15:44.033 --> 00:15:44.700
Trying to make 'em mad. so, if they got mad, that's their problem.
00:15:44.767 --> 00:15:45.434
So, if they got mad, that's their problem. they need to work
00:15:45.501 --> 00:15:46.101
That's their problem. they need to work it out with god."
00:15:46.168 --> 00:15:47.336
They need to work it out with god." >> ginger: yeah,
00:15:47.403 --> 00:15:47.870
It out with god." >> ginger: yeah, what a good place to be.
00:15:47.936 --> 00:15:48.771
>> ginger: yeah, what a good place to be. >> lysa: yeah.
00:15:48.837 --> 00:15:49.405
What a good place to be. >> lysa: yeah. there's three things for me
00:15:49.471 --> 00:15:51.140
>> lysa: yeah. there's three things for me that have helped a lot when
00:15:51.206 --> 00:15:54.109
There's three things for me that have helped a lot when thinking through rejection.
00:15:54.176 --> 00:15:57.479
That have helped a lot when thinking through rejection. the first, and i really gleaned
00:15:57.546 --> 00:16:00.516
Thinking through rejection. the first, and i really gleaned this from the story
00:16:00.582 --> 00:16:01.350
The first, and i really gleaned this from the story of joseph in the bible,
00:16:01.417 --> 00:16:02.751
This from the story of joseph in the bible, who was terribly rejected
00:16:02.818 --> 00:16:04.353
Of joseph in the bible, who was terribly rejected by his brothers.
00:16:04.420 --> 00:16:05.187
Who was terribly rejected by his brothers. betrayed, sold, you know,
00:16:05.254 --> 00:16:07.489
By his brothers. betrayed, sold, you know, told the--
00:16:07.556 --> 00:16:08.157
Betrayed, sold, you know, told the-- the brothers told
00:16:08.223 --> 00:16:09.258
Told the-- the brothers told the father that he was dead,
00:16:09.324 --> 00:16:10.259
The brothers told the father that he was dead, so nobody's even
00:16:10.325 --> 00:16:11.060
The father that he was dead, so nobody's even looking for him.
00:16:11.126 --> 00:16:11.894
So nobody's even looking for him. and as i look at that story,
00:16:11.960 --> 00:16:15.097
Looking for him. and as i look at that story, the state that joseph was
00:16:15.164 --> 00:16:16.498
And as i look at that story, the state that joseph was in with his brothers at age 17,
00:16:16.565 --> 00:16:18.767
The state that joseph was in with his brothers at age 17, god had called him,
00:16:18.834 --> 00:16:19.935
In with his brothers at age 17, god had called him, given him a vision that
00:16:20.002 --> 00:16:21.737
God had called him, given him a vision that he would be a leader one day.
00:16:21.804 --> 00:16:23.172
Given him a vision that he would be a leader one day. but at 17, i don't know
00:16:23.238 --> 00:16:25.941
He would be a leader one day. but at 17, i don't know if he was prideful with the way
00:16:26.008 --> 00:16:27.743
But at 17, i don't know if he was prideful with the way he talked to his brothers
00:16:27.810 --> 00:16:29.311
If he was prideful with the way he talked to his brothers or if it was the fact that
00:16:29.378 --> 00:16:30.746
He talked to his brothers or if it was the fact that the dad preferred joseph
00:16:30.813 --> 00:16:32.181
Or if it was the fact that the dad preferred joseph over the brothers that
00:16:32.247 --> 00:16:33.015
The dad preferred joseph over the brothers that added to this dynamic.
00:16:33.082 --> 00:16:34.016
Over the brothers that added to this dynamic. but the scriptures make it clear
00:16:34.083 --> 00:16:35.317
Added to this dynamic. but the scriptures make it clear those brothers hated him,
00:16:35.384 --> 00:16:36.819
But the scriptures make it clear those brothers hated him, could not say a kind
00:16:36.885 --> 00:16:37.786
Those brothers hated him, could not say a kind word about him.
00:16:37.853 --> 00:16:38.754
Could not say a kind word about him. and so, he was not
00:16:38.821 --> 00:16:41.290
Word about him. and so, he was not in a position where he could
00:16:41.356 --> 00:16:42.224
And so, he was not in a position where he could have led those brothers,
00:16:42.291 --> 00:16:43.358
In a position where he could have led those brothers, at that point.
00:16:43.425 --> 00:16:44.660
Have led those brothers, at that point. he was destined to be a leader.
00:16:44.726 --> 00:16:46.628
At that point. he was destined to be a leader. but their rejection actually
00:16:46.695 --> 00:16:49.131
He was destined to be a leader. but their rejection actually turned into a protection
00:16:49.198 --> 00:16:51.834
But their rejection actually turned into a protection of joseph's calling.
00:16:51.900 --> 00:16:53.168
Turned into a protection of joseph's calling. and as the story played out,
00:16:53.235 --> 00:16:55.070
Of joseph's calling. and as the story played out, you know, he does wind
00:16:55.137 --> 00:16:56.138
And as the story played out, you know, he does wind up being a leader.
00:16:56.205 --> 00:16:57.239
Not just a leader that
00:16:57.739 --> 00:16:59.007
Not just a leader that is over the brothers,
00:16:59.074 --> 00:17:00.409
Not just a leader that is over the brothers, but he was the second most
00:17:00.476 --> 00:17:01.944
Is over the brothers, but he was the second most powerful man in egypt,
00:17:02.010 --> 00:17:03.011
But he was the second most powerful man in egypt, probably second most
00:17:03.078 --> 00:17:04.179
Powerful man in egypt, probably second most powerful man in the world.
00:17:04.246 --> 00:17:05.547
Probably second most powerful man in the world. and just looking at that
00:17:05.614 --> 00:17:07.449
Powerful man in the world. and just looking at that story reminds me,
00:17:07.516 --> 00:17:08.884
And just looking at that story reminds me, so sometimes a rejection--
00:17:08.951 --> 00:17:10.686
And i heard this
00:17:10.752 --> 00:17:11.820
And i heard this in your story too.
00:17:11.887 --> 00:17:13.655
And i heard this in your story too. you know, some of those
00:17:13.722 --> 00:17:15.357
In your story too. you know, some of those people that rejected you,
00:17:15.424 --> 00:17:16.625
You know, some of those people that rejected you, that was a protection
00:17:16.692 --> 00:17:17.860
People that rejected you, that was a protection of your calling,
00:17:17.926 --> 00:17:18.594
That was a protection of your calling, cause they weren't
00:17:18.660 --> 00:17:19.228
Of your calling, cause they weren't gonna go where god
00:17:19.294 --> 00:17:20.195
Cause they weren't gonna go where god had destined you to go,
00:17:20.262 --> 00:17:21.330
Gonna go where god had destined you to go, you know.
00:17:21.396 --> 00:17:21.964
Had destined you to go, you know. >> joyce: yeah.
00:17:22.030 --> 00:17:22.464
You know. >> joyce: yeah. >> lysa: and so, the first big
00:17:22.531 --> 00:17:23.499
>> joyce: yeah. >> lysa: and so, the first big thing is like sometimes
00:17:23.565 --> 00:17:24.399
>> lysa: and so, the first big thing is like sometimes rejection is a protection.
00:17:24.466 --> 00:17:25.801
Thing is like sometimes rejection is a protection. the second thing is sometimes
00:17:25.868 --> 00:17:27.569
Rejection is a protection. the second thing is sometimes rejection is a whole lot less
00:17:27.636 --> 00:17:29.171
The second thing is sometimes rejection is a whole lot less about you and a whole lot more
00:17:29.238 --> 00:17:31.907
Rejection is a whole lot less about you and a whole lot more about whatever's going on inside
00:17:31.974 --> 00:17:33.609
About you and a whole lot more about whatever's going on inside of the person who rejects you.
00:17:33.675 --> 00:17:35.010
About whatever's going on inside of the person who rejects you. and i had to learn that with
00:17:35.077 --> 00:17:38.280
Of the person who rejects you. and i had to learn that with the dynamic of my divorce.
00:17:38.347 --> 00:17:40.182
And i had to learn that with the dynamic of my divorce. you know, there was--
00:17:40.249 --> 00:17:41.517
The dynamic of my divorce. you know, there was-- i remember after
00:17:41.583 --> 00:17:42.751
You know, there was-- i remember after the divorce happened,
00:17:42.818 --> 00:17:44.586
I remember after the divorce happened, someone ran into my ex-husband,
00:17:44.653 --> 00:17:46.488
The divorce happened, someone ran into my ex-husband, and you know, he said,
00:17:46.555 --> 00:17:48.223
Someone ran into my ex-husband, and you know, he said, "i'm happier than
00:17:48.290 --> 00:17:48.957
And you know, he said, "i'm happier than i've ever been."
00:17:49.024 --> 00:17:49.591
"i'm happier than i've ever been." and i remember that statement
00:17:49.658 --> 00:17:51.960
I've ever been." and i remember that statement landing on me...
00:17:52.027 --> 00:17:52.761
And i remember that statement landing on me... >> ginger: yeah, ouch.
00:17:52.828 --> 00:17:53.896
Landing on me... >> ginger: yeah, ouch. >> lysa: and hurting so much.
00:17:53.962 --> 00:17:55.097
>> ginger: yeah, ouch. >> lysa: and hurting so much. but it made sense.
00:17:55.164 --> 00:17:57.332
>> lysa: and hurting so much. but it made sense. because he was living a life,
00:17:57.399 --> 00:17:58.867
But it made sense. because he was living a life, i was never willing
00:17:58.934 --> 00:18:00.035
Because he was living a life, i was never willing to live with him.
00:18:00.102 --> 00:18:01.236
I was never willing to live with him. and so now, his outsides
00:18:01.303 --> 00:18:02.938
To live with him. and so now, his outsides matched his insides.
00:18:03.005 --> 00:18:04.072
And so now, his outsides matched his insides. so, yeah, i would imagine
00:18:04.139 --> 00:18:05.707
Matched his insides. so, yeah, i would imagine that congruity is definitely--
00:18:05.774 --> 00:18:09.278
So, yeah, i would imagine that congruity is definitely-- he's happier than he was ever.
00:18:09.344 --> 00:18:10.913
That congruity is definitely-- he's happier than he was ever. because with me, you know,
00:18:10.979 --> 00:18:13.482
He's happier than he was ever. because with me, you know, his insides didn't
00:18:13.549 --> 00:18:14.416
Because with me, you know, his insides didn't match his outsides.
00:18:14.483 --> 00:18:16.852
His insides didn't match his outsides. the outside world that
00:18:16.919 --> 00:18:18.086
Match his outsides. the outside world that we were in was never
00:18:18.153 --> 00:18:19.988
The outside world that we were in was never gonna match the insides.
00:18:20.055 --> 00:18:21.089
So, you have to just know
00:18:21.723 --> 00:18:22.891
So, you have to just know sometimes that rejection
00:18:22.958 --> 00:18:23.725
So, you have to just know sometimes that rejection is a lot more about what's going
00:18:23.792 --> 00:18:25.127
Sometimes that rejection is a lot more about what's going on inside of another person
00:18:25.194 --> 00:18:26.361
Is a lot more about what's going on inside of another person and a lot less to do with some
00:18:26.428 --> 00:18:28.297
On inside of another person and a lot less to do with some fundamental flaw in you.
00:18:28.363 --> 00:18:29.565
And a lot less to do with some fundamental flaw in you. but the third part of rejection,
00:18:29.631 --> 00:18:31.400
Fundamental flaw in you. but the third part of rejection, and this is a little harder.
00:18:31.466 --> 00:18:33.235
But the third part of rejection, and this is a little harder. there might be a reason that
00:18:33.302 --> 00:18:35.204
And this is a little harder. there might be a reason that somebody has rejected you.
00:18:35.270 --> 00:18:36.638
There might be a reason that somebody has rejected you. you know, i remember--
00:18:36.705 --> 00:18:38.907
Somebody has rejected you. you know, i remember-- >> joyce: oh, you mean
00:18:38.974 --> 00:18:39.708
You know, i remember-- >> joyce: oh, you mean it could be our own fault?
00:18:39.775 --> 00:18:40.943
>> joyce: oh, you mean it could be our own fault? >> [ladies laughing]
00:18:41.009 --> 00:18:41.577
It could be our own fault? >> [ladies laughing] >> lysa: yeah.
00:18:41.643 --> 00:18:42.177
>> [ladies laughing] >> lysa: yeah. >> erin: i thought
00:18:42.244 --> 00:18:42.811
>> lysa: yeah. >> erin: i thought that's what she said.
00:18:42.878 --> 00:18:43.445
>> erin: i thought that's what she said. >> lysa: so, in that book
00:18:43.512 --> 00:18:44.713
That's what she said. >> lysa: so, in that book that i was mentioning
00:18:44.780 --> 00:18:46.081
>> lysa: so, in that book that i was mentioning "uninvited," i wrote
00:18:46.148 --> 00:18:47.583
That i was mentioning "uninvited," i wrote an assessment at the end
00:18:47.649 --> 00:18:48.917
"uninvited," i wrote an assessment at the end of the book called
00:18:48.984 --> 00:18:49.918
An assessment at the end of the book called "what is it really like
00:18:49.985 --> 00:18:51.119
Of the book called "what is it really like to do life with me?"
00:18:51.186 --> 00:18:52.187
"what is it really like to do life with me?" and the assessment
00:18:52.254 --> 00:18:54.089
Is i wrote out a whole bunch
00:18:54.156 --> 00:18:56.458
Is i wrote out a whole bunch of things that i thought
00:18:56.525 --> 00:18:57.626
Is i wrote out a whole bunch of things that i thought to be true about me,
00:18:57.693 --> 00:18:59.228
Of things that i thought to be true about me, and then a trusted friend,
00:18:59.294 --> 00:19:02.264
To be true about me, and then a trusted friend, who i know loves me to pieces,
00:19:02.331 --> 00:19:04.566
And then a trusted friend, who i know loves me to pieces, and that i wouldn't take
00:19:04.633 --> 00:19:05.667
Who i know loves me to pieces, and that i wouldn't take it so personally,
00:19:05.734 --> 00:19:06.501
And that i wouldn't take it so personally, but i had her look at the list,
00:19:06.568 --> 00:19:08.103
It so personally, but i had her look at the list, and i just wanted to see did
00:19:08.170 --> 00:19:10.072
But i had her look at the list, and i just wanted to see did her experience of me and my
00:19:10.138 --> 00:19:12.574
And i just wanted to see did her experience of me and my own thoughts about myself,
00:19:12.641 --> 00:19:13.809
Her experience of me and my own thoughts about myself, did they line up?
00:19:13.875 --> 00:19:15.077
Own thoughts about myself, did they line up? and it gave me an opportunity
00:19:15.143 --> 00:19:17.246
Did they line up? and it gave me an opportunity to recognize,
00:19:17.312 --> 00:19:18.280
And it gave me an opportunity to recognize, like, "oh, there are some
00:19:18.347 --> 00:19:20.082
To recognize, like, "oh, there are some things i do need to work on."
00:19:20.148 --> 00:19:21.984
Like, "oh, there are some things i do need to work on." it's not always
00:19:22.050 --> 00:19:22.951
Things i do need to work on." it's not always someone else's fault.
00:19:23.018 --> 00:19:24.653
It's not always someone else's fault. and one of the biggest
00:19:24.720 --> 00:19:25.921
Someone else's fault. and one of the biggest things that came out of that,
00:19:25.988 --> 00:19:27.756
And one of the biggest things that came out of that, a realization for me,
00:19:27.823 --> 00:19:29.091
Things that came out of that, a realization for me, is that i tend to sugarcoat
00:19:29.157 --> 00:19:31.560
A realization for me, is that i tend to sugarcoat things so that i don't have
00:19:31.627 --> 00:19:32.728
Is that i tend to sugarcoat things so that i don't have to have hard conversations.
00:19:32.794 --> 00:19:34.363
Things so that i don't have to have hard conversations. and what my friend was saying,
00:19:34.429 --> 00:19:35.664
To have hard conversations. and what my friend was saying, "lysa, it's harder for me
00:19:35.731 --> 00:19:37.399
And what my friend was saying, "lysa, it's harder for me to do the mental gymnastics
00:19:37.466 --> 00:19:38.867
"lysa, it's harder for me to do the mental gymnastics to try to figure out what
00:19:38.934 --> 00:19:40.302
To do the mental gymnastics to try to figure out what you're really trying to say,
00:19:40.369 --> 00:19:41.603
To try to figure out what you're really trying to say, because all that sugar coating,
00:19:41.670 --> 00:19:43.438
You're really trying to say, because all that sugar coating, it drives me nuts.
00:19:43.505 --> 00:19:45.007
Because all that sugar coating, it drives me nuts. like, i'm a big girl.
00:19:45.073 --> 00:19:46.541
It drives me nuts. like, i'm a big girl. if there's something hard
00:19:46.608 --> 00:19:47.576
Like, i'm a big girl. if there's something hard that we need to talk about,
00:19:47.643 --> 00:19:48.477
If there's something hard that we need to talk about, let's just talk about it,"
00:19:48.543 --> 00:19:49.678
That we need to talk about, let's just talk about it," you know?
00:19:49.745 --> 00:19:50.345
Let's just talk about it," you know? and so those were three
00:19:50.412 --> 00:19:51.680
You know? and so those were three really powerful things.
00:19:51.747 --> 00:19:52.981
And so those were three really powerful things. sometimes it has a lot
00:19:53.048 --> 00:19:54.182
Really powerful things. sometimes it has a lot less to do with me.
00:19:54.249 --> 00:19:55.217
Sometimes it has a lot less to do with me. sometimes it is because
00:19:55.284 --> 00:19:57.252
Less to do with me. sometimes it is because of something that i'm doing
00:19:57.319 --> 00:19:58.153
Sometimes it is because of something that i'm doing that i need to work on.
00:19:58.220 --> 00:19:59.655
Of something that i'm doing that i need to work on. but a lot of times, also,
00:19:59.721 --> 00:20:01.690
That i need to work on. but a lot of times, also, rejection is some
00:20:01.757 --> 00:20:02.624
But a lot of times, also, rejection is some kind of protection,
00:20:02.691 --> 00:20:03.892
Rejection is some kind of protection, even though it doesn't feel
00:20:03.959 --> 00:20:04.660
Kind of protection, even though it doesn't feel that way or look that
00:20:04.726 --> 00:20:05.394
Even though it doesn't feel that way or look that way at all at the time.
00:20:05.460 --> 00:20:06.695
That way or look that way at all at the time. >> ginger: yeah, definitely
00:20:06.762 --> 00:20:07.663
Way at all at the time. >> ginger: yeah, definitely i found that to be true
00:20:07.729 --> 00:20:08.630
>> ginger: yeah, definitely i found that to be true with one of the big
00:20:08.697 --> 00:20:09.765
I found that to be true with one of the big rejections in my life.
00:20:09.831 --> 00:20:12.901
With one of the big rejections in my life. someone went very, very
00:20:12.968 --> 00:20:14.836
Rejections in my life. someone went very, very public with lies about me.
00:20:14.903 --> 00:20:17.239
Someone went very, very public with lies about me. this is before i worked
00:20:17.306 --> 00:20:18.774
Public with lies about me. this is before i worked at joyce meyer ministries.
00:20:18.840 --> 00:20:20.342
This is before i worked at joyce meyer ministries. and so, these lies were
00:20:20.409 --> 00:20:22.711
At joyce meyer ministries. and so, these lies were all over the community,
00:20:22.778 --> 00:20:24.413
And so, these lies were all over the community, and they were
00:20:24.479 --> 00:20:25.714
All over the community, and they were just outright lies.
00:20:25.781 --> 00:20:26.982
And they were just outright lies. and i was so rejected
00:20:27.049 --> 00:20:29.151
Just outright lies. and i was so rejected and broken.
00:20:29.217 --> 00:20:29.851
And i was so rejected and broken. "how can i show
00:20:29.918 --> 00:20:30.519
And broken. "how can i show my face anywhere?
00:20:30.585 --> 00:20:31.620
"how can i show my face anywhere? because they'll reject me, too."
00:20:31.687 --> 00:20:33.722
My face anywhere? because they'll reject me, too." and it was just one rejection
00:20:33.789 --> 00:20:35.524
Because they'll reject me, too." and it was just one rejection upon the next.
00:20:35.590 --> 00:20:36.358
And it was just one rejection upon the next. and just trying to figure out,
00:20:36.425 --> 00:20:37.426
Upon the next. and just trying to figure out, "god, how do i get through this?
00:20:37.492 --> 00:20:39.995
And just trying to figure out, "god, how do i get through this? how do i walk through this?"
00:20:40.062 --> 00:20:42.030
"god, how do i get through this? how do i walk through this?" and i had to learn two of those
00:20:42.097 --> 00:20:44.366
How do i walk through this?" and i had to learn two of those things that you were saying--
00:20:44.433 --> 00:20:45.267
And i had to learn two of those things that you were saying-- probably all three.
00:20:45.334 --> 00:20:46.134
Things that you were saying-- probably all three. is that it was so much more
00:20:46.201 --> 00:20:48.236
Probably all three. is that it was so much more about what was going
00:20:48.303 --> 00:20:49.304
Is that it was so much more about what was going on in that person's life
00:20:49.371 --> 00:20:51.306
About what was going on in that person's life than it was about what
00:20:51.373 --> 00:20:52.541
On in that person's life than it was about what was going on in my own life.
00:20:52.607 --> 00:20:54.509
Than it was about what was going on in my own life. but even with that,
00:20:54.576 --> 00:20:56.378
Was going on in my own life. but even with that, i had to take responsibility
00:20:56.445 --> 00:20:58.046
But even with that, i had to take responsibility for anything that
00:20:58.113 --> 00:20:59.548
I had to take responsibility for anything that i did need to do.
00:20:59.614 --> 00:21:01.616
For anything that i did need to do. you know, that i learned a lot
00:21:01.683 --> 00:21:04.186
I did need to do. you know, that i learned a lot that i needed to change for
00:21:04.252 --> 00:21:05.987
You know, that i learned a lot that i needed to change for relationships moving forward.
00:21:06.054 --> 00:21:07.422
That i needed to change for relationships moving forward. and i also found that god used
00:21:07.489 --> 00:21:10.492
Relationships moving forward. and i also found that god used it to enable me to minister
00:21:10.559 --> 00:21:14.596
And i also found that god used it to enable me to minister in a stronger way to other
00:21:14.663 --> 00:21:15.797
It to enable me to minister in a stronger way to other people because i understood
00:21:15.864 --> 00:21:17.566
In a stronger way to other people because i understood that pain in a way that i never
00:21:17.632 --> 00:21:19.668
People because i understood that pain in a way that i never would have otherwise.
00:21:19.735 --> 00:21:20.936
That pain in a way that i never would have otherwise. so, i think
00:21:21.002 --> 00:21:22.738
Would have otherwise. so, i think it's so important to,
00:21:22.804 --> 00:21:24.272
So, i think it's so important to, when we're hurting so much
00:21:24.339 --> 00:21:26.041
It's so important to, when we're hurting so much to just take a beat and say,
00:21:26.108 --> 00:21:28.076
When we're hurting so much to just take a beat and say, "god, if there's anything
00:21:28.143 --> 00:21:29.611
To just take a beat and say, "god, if there's anything you need me to see in this,
00:21:29.678 --> 00:21:30.746
"god, if there's anything you need me to see in this, please show me.
00:21:30.812 --> 00:21:31.480
You need me to see in this, please show me. and whatever you wanna
00:21:31.546 --> 00:21:34.015
Please show me. and whatever you wanna do in it, i'm open to it.
00:21:34.082 --> 00:21:36.184
And whatever you wanna do in it, i'm open to it. so please heal my wounds.
00:21:36.251 --> 00:21:37.786
Do in it, i'm open to it. so please heal my wounds. but as you do it,
00:21:37.853 --> 00:21:38.920
So please heal my wounds. but as you do it, your will is what i want
00:21:38.987 --> 00:21:41.056
But as you do it, your will is what i want more than anything else."
00:21:41.123 --> 00:21:41.923
Your will is what i want more than anything else." and, wow, that's hard
00:21:41.990 --> 00:21:42.891
More than anything else." and, wow, that's hard to do when you're
00:21:42.958 --> 00:21:43.558
And, wow, that's hard to do when you're in that position.
00:21:43.625 --> 00:21:44.226
To do when you're in that position. but it was huge.
00:21:44.292 --> 00:21:45.293
In that position. but it was huge. it was hugely important to do.
00:21:45.360 --> 00:21:47.529
But it was huge. it was hugely important to do. >> joyce: i remember, one day,
00:21:47.596 --> 00:21:48.463
It was hugely important to do. >> joyce: i remember, one day, i was praying for dave to change
00:21:48.530 --> 00:21:50.499
>> joyce: i remember, one day, i was praying for dave to change because i was not happy with
00:21:50.565 --> 00:21:52.634
I was praying for dave to change because i was not happy with the way he was treating me.
00:21:52.701 --> 00:21:54.836
Because i was not happy with the way he was treating me. and i was praying so hard
00:21:54.903 --> 00:21:55.837
The way he was treating me. and i was praying so hard for him to change.
00:21:55.904 --> 00:21:56.538
And i was praying so hard for him to change. and it was almost like the lord
00:21:56.605 --> 00:21:57.873
For him to change. and it was almost like the lord interrupted me and said...
00:21:57.939 --> 00:22:01.943
And it was almost like the lord interrupted me and said... i was too busy praying
00:22:02.010 --> 00:22:02.978
Interrupted me and said... i was too busy praying for dave to change,
00:22:03.044 --> 00:22:03.745
I was too busy praying for dave to change, "i'll get back to you
00:22:03.812 --> 00:22:04.880
For dave to change, "i'll get back to you in a minute."
00:22:04.946 --> 00:22:05.847
"i'll get back to you in a minute." and god just said,
00:22:05.914 --> 00:22:08.250
In a minute." and god just said, "it's not dave's fault."
00:22:08.316 --> 00:22:10.419
And god just said, "it's not dave's fault." and i thought,
00:22:10.485 --> 00:22:11.052
"it's not dave's fault." and i thought, "well, whose fault is it then?
00:22:11.119 --> 00:22:12.554
And i thought, "well, whose fault is it then? there's only me and him."
00:22:12.621 --> 00:22:13.822
"well, whose fault is it then? there's only me and him." i mean, i couldn't--
00:22:13.889 --> 00:22:14.890
There's only me and him." i mean, i couldn't-- i had just never seen
00:22:14.956 --> 00:22:17.159
I mean, i couldn't-- i had just never seen myself the way i came
00:22:17.225 --> 00:22:20.095
I had just never seen myself the way i came across to other people.
00:22:20.162 --> 00:22:22.063
Myself the way i came across to other people. and so, god spent a couple
00:22:22.130 --> 00:22:24.099
Across to other people. and so, god spent a couple of days showing me what
00:22:24.166 --> 00:22:25.200
And so, god spent a couple of days showing me what it was like to live with me.
00:22:25.267 --> 00:22:27.102
Of days showing me what it was like to live with me. kind of like what
00:22:27.169 --> 00:22:28.236
It was like to live with me. kind of like what you said, "what is--
00:22:28.303 --> 00:22:30.238
Kind of like what you said, "what is-- how am i to other people?"
00:22:30.305 --> 00:22:32.140
You said, "what is-- how am i to other people?" and you can't really make
00:22:32.207 --> 00:22:34.242
How am i to other people?" and you can't really make any progress until you're
00:22:34.309 --> 00:22:35.777
And you can't really make any progress until you're willing not only to think about
00:22:35.844 --> 00:22:39.080
Any progress until you're willing not only to think about the people that are hurting you,
00:22:39.147 --> 00:22:40.382
Willing not only to think about the people that are hurting you, but "why does it hurt
00:22:40.449 --> 00:22:42.017
The people that are hurting you, but "why does it hurt me so bad if somebody
00:22:42.083 --> 00:22:43.852
But "why does it hurt me so bad if somebody doesn't like me or rejects me?"
00:22:43.919 --> 00:22:47.422
Me so bad if somebody doesn't like me or rejects me?" you know, i mean, i don't know
00:22:47.489 --> 00:22:48.523
Doesn't like me or rejects me?" you know, i mean, i don't know that i'm ready to go all
00:22:48.590 --> 00:22:50.692
You know, i mean, i don't know that i'm ready to go all the way to where dave's at.
00:22:50.759 --> 00:22:51.760
That i'm ready to go all the way to where dave's at. "well, it's--"
00:22:51.827 --> 00:22:52.394
The way to where dave's at. "well, it's--" you know,
00:22:52.461 --> 00:22:53.028
"well, it's--" you know, "it's your problem."
00:22:53.094 --> 00:22:53.728
You know, "it's your problem." because sometimes i find
00:22:53.795 --> 00:22:55.163
"it's your problem." because sometimes i find that it is my problem.
00:22:55.230 --> 00:22:56.498
Because sometimes i find that it is my problem. how amazing it is what god's
00:22:56.565 --> 00:22:58.467
That it is my problem. how amazing it is what god's done in all of our lives and all
00:22:58.533 --> 00:23:00.435
How amazing it is what god's done in all of our lives and all the things that we now know,
00:23:00.502 --> 00:23:04.272
Done in all of our lives and all the things that we now know, that we just were totally
00:23:04.339 --> 00:23:05.607
The things that we now know, that we just were totally oblivious to before.
00:23:05.674 --> 00:23:07.876
That we just were totally oblivious to before. and how many people still
00:23:07.943 --> 00:23:09.177
Oblivious to before. and how many people still are in that position because
00:23:09.244 --> 00:23:11.746
And how many people still are in that position because they don't know christ.
00:23:11.813 --> 00:23:13.014
Are in that position because they don't know christ. they don't even know how
00:23:13.081 --> 00:23:13.815
They don't know christ. they don't even know how to go to him for help.
00:23:13.882 --> 00:23:15.217
They don't even know how to go to him for help. and you gotta face truth.
00:23:15.283 --> 00:23:18.587
Only the truth will
00:23:19.221 --> 00:23:20.188
Only the truth will set you free.
00:23:20.255 --> 00:23:20.655
Only the truth will set you free. >> ginger: yeah.
00:23:20.722 --> 00:23:21.122
Set you free. >> ginger: yeah. without those secrets
00:23:21.189 --> 00:23:21.857
>> ginger: yeah. without those secrets coming out,
00:23:21.923 --> 00:23:22.491
Without those secrets coming out, whether they're secrets
00:23:22.557 --> 00:23:23.358
Coming out, whether they're secrets that somebody else
00:23:23.425 --> 00:23:25.393
Whether they're secrets that somebody else is having in our own home
00:23:25.460 --> 00:23:27.295
That somebody else is having in our own home or secrets about how we feel
00:23:27.362 --> 00:23:29.231
Is having in our own home or secrets about how we feel about ourself or the shame
00:23:29.297 --> 00:23:30.565
Or secrets about how we feel about ourself or the shame that we're holding, you know,
00:23:30.632 --> 00:23:31.600
About ourself or the shame that we're holding, you know, those things have to come out,
00:23:31.666 --> 00:23:33.502
That we're holding, you know, those things have to come out, and that's how god works.
00:23:33.568 --> 00:23:35.170
Those things have to come out, and that's how god works. it hurts so much when
00:23:35.237 --> 00:23:36.838
And that's how god works. it hurts so much when those things surface.
00:23:36.905 --> 00:23:38.039
It hurts so much when those things surface. but honestly,
00:23:38.106 --> 00:23:39.341
Those things surface. but honestly, i'm so grateful in my life that
00:23:39.407 --> 00:23:41.409
But honestly, i'm so grateful in my life that those things did surface so that
00:23:41.476 --> 00:23:43.445
I'm so grateful in my life that those things did surface so that we could work through
00:23:43.512 --> 00:23:44.546
Those things did surface so that we could work through them and heal--
00:23:44.613 --> 00:23:45.480
We could work through them and heal-- both of us,
00:23:45.547 --> 00:23:46.248
Them and heal-- both of us, and be to the point
00:23:46.314 --> 00:23:47.682
Both of us, and be to the point where we are today,
00:23:47.749 --> 00:23:48.617
Which is very different than
00:23:48.683 --> 00:23:50.018
Which is very different than it ever would have been.
00:23:50.085 --> 00:23:51.119
Which is very different than it ever would have been. where lysa is today,
00:23:51.186 --> 00:23:52.120
It ever would have been. where lysa is today, where you both are today,
00:23:52.187 --> 00:23:54.089
Where lysa is today, where you both are today, is only because of god
00:23:54.155 --> 00:23:56.892
Where you both are today, is only because of god working through those
00:23:56.958 --> 00:23:57.926
Is only because of god working through those things that if we're trying
00:23:57.993 --> 00:23:59.361
Working through those things that if we're trying to just avoid pain,
00:23:59.427 --> 00:24:00.495
Things that if we're trying to just avoid pain, we would shove down.
00:24:00.562 --> 00:24:01.296
To just avoid pain, we would shove down. >> joyce: and those things
00:24:01.363 --> 00:24:02.030
We would shove down. >> joyce: and those things that we went through have
00:24:02.097 --> 00:24:02.864
>> joyce: and those things that we went through have equipped us to be able
00:24:02.931 --> 00:24:04.099
That we went through have equipped us to be able to help other people.
00:24:04.165 --> 00:24:04.833
Equipped us to be able to help other people. >> ginger: amen.
00:24:04.900 --> 00:24:05.934
>> announcer: we are created
00:24:08.036 --> 00:24:08.904
>> announcer: we are created for community and acceptance.
00:24:08.970 --> 00:24:11.706
For community and acceptance. it's the way god made us.
00:24:11.773 --> 00:24:14.175
It's the way god made us. but what happens
00:24:14.242 --> 00:24:15.010
But what happens when we are rejected?
00:24:15.076 --> 00:24:17.345
>> joyce: well, rejection
00:24:17.979 --> 00:24:18.813
>> joyce: well, rejection is definitely painful.
00:24:18.880 --> 00:24:20.549
Is definitely painful. it's something we've all endured
00:24:20.615 --> 00:24:21.516
It's something we've all endured in one way or another.
00:24:21.583 --> 00:24:23.351
>> ginger: our experiences
00:24:23.852 --> 00:24:24.619
>> ginger: our experiences may be different,
00:24:24.686 --> 00:24:25.453
May be different, but the damage is very real.
00:24:25.520 --> 00:24:27.656
But the damage is very real. whether it comes from
00:24:27.722 --> 00:24:28.523
Whether it comes from a stranger, a friend,
00:24:28.590 --> 00:24:30.125
A stranger, a friend, or someone we love,
00:24:30.191 --> 00:24:31.526
Or someone we love, rejection leaves us feeling
00:24:31.593 --> 00:24:33.228
Rejection leaves us feeling unwanted and wounded.
00:24:33.295 --> 00:24:35.297
Unwanted and wounded. >> joyce: we both know how
00:24:35.363 --> 00:24:36.164
>> joyce: we both know how devastating rejection can be.
00:24:36.231 --> 00:24:37.999
Devastating rejection can be. the good news is healing
00:24:38.066 --> 00:24:39.801
The good news is healing is possible.
00:24:39.868 --> 00:24:41.236
Is possible. that's why i invited
00:24:41.303 --> 00:24:42.237
That's why i invited ginger to write
00:24:42.304 --> 00:24:42.871
Ginger to write a very important
00:24:42.938 --> 00:24:43.972
A very important book with me,
00:24:44.039 --> 00:24:45.006
Book with me, "healing the wounds
00:24:45.073 --> 00:24:45.941
"healing the wounds of rejection."
00:24:46.007 --> 00:24:46.942
Of rejection." i believe now is the time
00:24:47.008 --> 00:24:48.243
I believe now is the time to overcome those
00:24:48.310 --> 00:24:49.444
To overcome those wounds and embrace
00:24:49.511 --> 00:24:50.478
Wounds and embrace our true identity in christ.
00:24:50.545 --> 00:24:53.114
Our true identity in christ. >> announcer: we would
00:24:53.181 --> 00:24:53.748
>> announcer: we would like to send you a copy
00:24:53.815 --> 00:24:54.849
Like to send you a copy of "healing the wounds
00:24:54.916 --> 00:24:55.784
Of "healing the wounds of rejection."
00:24:55.850 --> 00:24:56.484
Of rejection." it's available to you
00:24:56.551 --> 00:24:57.886
It's available to you right now for your
00:24:57.953 --> 00:24:58.653
Right now for your gift of any amount.
00:24:58.720 --> 00:25:00.555
And today,
00:25:01.189 --> 00:25:01.990
And today, when you donate...
00:25:02.057 --> 00:25:02.424
When you donate... or more,
00:25:02.490 --> 00:25:03.224
Or more, you'll not only
00:25:03.291 --> 00:25:03.858
You'll not only receive the "healing wounds
00:25:03.925 --> 00:25:05.093
Receive the "healing wounds of rejection" book,
00:25:05.160 --> 00:25:05.994
Of rejection" book, but also the beautiful,
00:25:06.061 --> 00:25:07.228
But also the beautiful, guided journal with study
00:25:07.295 --> 00:25:08.530
Guided journal with study questions and thoughtful
00:25:08.597 --> 00:25:09.497
Questions and thoughtful prompts to help
00:25:09.564 --> 00:25:10.432
Prompts to help facilitate your healing.
00:25:10.498 --> 00:25:13.168
>> male: i still felt like
00:25:14.135 --> 00:25:14.970
>> male: i still felt like an outsider wherever i went.
00:25:15.036 --> 00:25:16.805
An outsider wherever i went. >> female 1: not feeling
00:25:16.871 --> 00:25:17.639
>> female 1: not feeling like i belong anywhere.
00:25:17.706 --> 00:25:19.140
Like i belong anywhere. >> female 2: it's satan's
00:25:19.207 --> 00:25:19.874
>> female 2: it's satan's lies to say that
00:25:19.941 --> 00:25:21.309
Lies to say that "you're not wanted."
00:25:21.376 --> 00:25:22.110
"you're not wanted." >> male: and it was through
00:25:22.177 --> 00:25:23.178
>> male: and it was through the word of god.
00:25:23.244 --> 00:25:24.245
The word of god. >> female 1: the more
00:25:24.312 --> 00:25:25.080
>> female 1: the more i read his word,
00:25:25.146 --> 00:25:26.181
I read his word, the closer i became to him.
00:25:26.247 --> 00:25:28.049
The closer i became to him. >> female 2: god says,
00:25:28.116 --> 00:25:28.783
>> female 2: god says, "i am adopted."
00:25:28.850 --> 00:25:29.718
"i am adopted." >> female 1: that does not
00:25:29.784 --> 00:25:30.819
>> female 1: that does not mean that i have to continue
00:25:30.885 --> 00:25:32.153
Mean that i have to continue living that way every day.
00:25:32.220 --> 00:25:33.421
Living that way every day. >> female 2: "i'm chosen,
00:25:33.488 --> 00:25:34.589
>> female 2: "i'm chosen, i'm accepted, i'm redeemed."
00:25:34.656 --> 00:25:36.558
I'm accepted, i'm redeemed." >> female 1: and he is
00:25:36.625 --> 00:25:37.459
>> female 1: and he is transforming me
00:25:37.525 --> 00:25:37.959
Transforming me into his son,
00:25:38.026 --> 00:25:38.593
Into his son, jesus' image, daily.
00:25:38.660 --> 00:25:40.095
>> ginger: we want to share
00:25:40.428 --> 00:25:41.463
>> ginger: we want to share truths from god's word
00:25:41.529 --> 00:25:42.464
Truths from god's word that have helped us find
00:25:42.530 --> 00:25:44.165
That have helped us find strength and wholeness.
00:25:44.232 --> 00:25:46.267
Strength and wholeness. >> joyce: you can find freedom
00:25:46.334 --> 00:25:47.569
>> joyce: you can find freedom from the pain and move
00:25:47.636 --> 00:25:48.637
From the pain and move forward with confidence.
00:25:48.703 --> 00:25:50.905
Forward with confidence. >> announcer: "healing
00:25:50.972 --> 00:25:51.573
>> announcer: "healing the wounds of rejection"
00:25:51.640 --> 00:25:52.340
The wounds of rejection" is available to you
00:25:52.407 --> 00:25:53.508
Is available to you for any amount.
00:25:53.575 --> 00:25:54.409
For any amount. learn how to handle rejection
00:25:54.476 --> 00:25:55.610
Learn how to handle rejection differently than you ever
00:25:55.677 --> 00:25:56.611
Differently than you ever have before and experience
00:25:56.678 --> 00:25:58.279
Have before and experience the healing god
00:25:58.346 --> 00:25:59.347
The healing god longs to bring you.
00:25:59.414 --> 00:26:00.448
Longs to bring you. and remember,
00:26:00.515 --> 00:26:01.416
And remember, you'll not only receive
00:26:01.483 --> 00:26:02.751
You'll not only receive joyce and ginger's book
00:26:02.817 --> 00:26:03.551
Joyce and ginger's book when you give,
00:26:03.618 --> 00:26:04.386
When you give, but your gift allows
00:26:04.452 --> 00:26:05.754
But your gift allows us to continue to share
00:26:05.820 --> 00:26:07.255
Us to continue to share the love of christ
00:26:07.322 --> 00:26:08.390
The love of christ around the world through
00:26:08.456 --> 00:26:09.557
Around the world through our hand of hope outreaches.
00:26:09.624 --> 00:26:11.059
Joyce and ginger's book,
00:26:11.326 --> 00:26:11.993
Joyce and ginger's book, "healing the wounds
00:26:12.060 --> 00:26:13.161
"healing the wounds of rejection," is available
00:26:13.228 --> 00:26:14.796
Of rejection," is available to you for any amount.
00:26:14.863 --> 00:26:16.031
To you for any amount. and remember,
00:26:16.097 --> 00:26:17.132
And remember, when you donate...
00:26:17.198 --> 00:26:18.733
When you donate... or more,
00:26:18.800 --> 00:26:19.367
Or more, you'll not only receive
00:26:19.434 --> 00:26:20.468
You'll not only receive the "healing wounds
00:26:20.535 --> 00:26:21.403
The "healing wounds of rejection" book,
00:26:21.469 --> 00:26:22.370
Of rejection" book, but also the guided journal
00:26:22.437 --> 00:26:23.772
But also the guided journal to help your healing.
00:26:23.838 --> 00:26:24.906
Give us a call at...
00:26:25.974 --> 00:26:28.977
Give us a call at... or visit us online at:
00:26:29.044 --> 00:26:30.445
Or visit us online at: joycemeyer.org.
00:26:30.512 --> 00:26:32.280
>> announcer: discover
00:26:32.847 --> 00:26:33.248
>> announcer: discover strength for your challenges,
00:26:33.314 --> 00:26:35.316
Strength for your challenges, the tools to fight your battles,
00:26:35.383 --> 00:26:37.619
The tools to fight your battles, and the joy and peace you crave.
00:26:37.686 --> 00:26:40.221
And the joy and peace you crave. love life 2025.
00:26:40.288 --> 00:26:42.757
Love life 2025. >> joyce: cece winans,
00:26:42.824 --> 00:26:44.092
>> joyce: cece winans, lysa terkeurst,
00:26:44.159 --> 00:26:45.160
Lysa terkeurst, and pat barrett,
00:26:45.226 --> 00:26:46.227
And pat barrett, so exciting!
00:26:46.294 --> 00:26:47.328
So exciting! need i say more?
00:26:47.395 --> 00:26:48.797
Need i say more? it's the love life women's
00:26:48.863 --> 00:26:50.131
It's the love life women's conference 2025.
00:26:50.198 --> 00:26:51.766
Conference 2025. oh, and i'll be there too!
00:26:51.833 --> 00:26:54.602
>> announcer: register now.
00:26:55.303 --> 00:26:56.504
>> announcer: register now. go to joycemeyer.org.
00:26:56.571 --> 00:26:59.340
>> [♪♪]
00:27:00.709 --> 00:27:09.918
>> announcer: we hope you
00:27:10.719 --> 00:27:11.453
>> announcer: we hope you enjoyed today's program.
00:27:11.519 --> 00:27:14.956
Enjoyed today's program. we are so grateful
00:27:15.023 --> 00:27:16.157
We are so grateful to our joyce meyer
00:27:16.224 --> 00:27:17.225
To our joyce meyer ministries partners
00:27:17.292 --> 00:27:18.259
Ministries partners who make this
00:27:18.326 --> 00:27:19.060
Who make this and all we do possible,
00:27:19.127 --> 00:27:20.562
And all we do possible, including sharing
00:27:20.628 --> 00:27:21.563
Including sharing god's word
00:27:21.629 --> 00:27:22.564
God's word and offering help
00:27:22.630 --> 00:27:23.765
And offering help to people in need
00:27:23.832 --> 00:27:25.066
To people in need all over the world.
00:27:25.133 --> 00:27:27.936

Joyce Meyer - Rejection Hurts

September 23, 2025 | 29:29

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