Tim Johnson - The Hole In My Soul

June 2, 2025 | S25:E147

A former NFL champion and author of “Fatherless No More” explains how God filled the emptiness left by the absence of an earthly father.

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Life Today with James Robison | Tim Johnson - The Hole In My Soul | June 2, 2025
  • >> instead of praying, i ended up in the fetal position,
  • 00:00:07.330 --> 00:00:11.367
  • Bawling my eyes out, crying like a baby,
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  • And out comes, "i've never had a father."
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  • Former super bowl champion, tim johnson
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  • Is fatherless no more.
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  • >> now salvation meant more than just me being forgiven
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  • For my sins and having eternal life.
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  • There's no reason for heaven without the father.
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  • Coming up on life today.
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  • James: well, i just said --
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  • James: well, i just said -- i'm james robison,
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  • James: well, i just said -- i'm james robison, by the way.
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  • I'm james robison, by the way. betty, we're cowboys fans.
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  • By the way. betty, we're cowboys fans. i don't even need
  • 00:00:59.249 --> 00:01:00.483
  • Betty, we're cowboys fans. i don't even need to say why.
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  • I don't even need to say why. well, one time we understood
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  • To say why. well, one time we understood why we --
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  • Dear god, why?
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  • Dear god, why? we're patient and prayerful.
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  • Dear god, why? we're patient and prayerful. but here i've got a guy
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  • We're patient and prayerful. but here i've got a guy that went to penn state?
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  • But here i've got a guy that went to penn state? tim: i did.
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  • That went to penn state? tim: i did. james: and you won
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  • Tim: i did. james: and you won the national championship.
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  • James: and you won the national championship. and then you beat,
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  • The national championship. and then you beat, you might say, the cowboys
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  • And then you beat, you might say, the cowboys in the sense that they won
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  • You might say, the cowboys in the sense that they won the super bowl playing for,
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  • In the sense that they won the super bowl playing for, who were you playing for?
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  • The super bowl playing for, who were you playing for? tim: washington.
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  • Who were you playing for? tim: washington. james: were they
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  • Tim: washington. james: were they the redskins then?
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  • James: were they the redskins then? tim: back then, yes, sir.
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  • The redskins then? tim: back then, yes, sir. james: and you come in here
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  • Tim: back then, yes, sir. james: and you come in here and bring this book,
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  • James: and you come in here and bring this book, fatherless no more .
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  • And bring this book, fatherless no more . i want to ask you
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  • Fatherless no more . i want to ask you about this picture because
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  • I want to ask you about this picture because you told me your son
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  • About this picture because you told me your son took this picture.
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  • Tim: first of all, i just
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  • Tim: first of all, i just need to honor you both
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  • Need to honor you both for your legendary impact
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  • For your legendary impact on the world, my life,
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  • Or seen you.
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  • Or seen you. so thank you for
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  • Or seen you. so thank you for the privilege of being here.
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  • So thank you for the privilege of being here. that picture,
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  • The privilege of being here. that picture, believe it or not,
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  • That picture, believe it or not, sometimes makes me emotional
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  • Believe it or not, sometimes makes me emotional because my wife and i were
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  • Sometimes makes me emotional because my wife and i were in tennessee dropping
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  • Because my wife and i were in tennessee dropping our son off for
  • 00:01:59.309 --> 00:02:00.443
  • In tennessee dropping our son off for his freshman year
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  • Our son off for his freshman year at lipscomb university.
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  • His freshman year at lipscomb university. and because he was
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  • At lipscomb university. and because he was into photography, we were
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  • And because he was into photography, we were at lunch, and he would
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  • Into photography, we were at lunch, and he would just take random,
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  • At lunch, and he would just take random, really great pictures.
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  • Just take random, really great pictures. he took a photo.
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  • Really great pictures. he took a photo. weeks, it must have been weeks
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  • He took a photo. weeks, it must have been weeks later, my wife showed me,
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  • Weeks, it must have been weeks later, my wife showed me, "oh, sean took this picture
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  • Later, my wife showed me, "oh, sean took this picture of you."
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  • "oh, sean took this picture of you." i had no idea that he did.
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  • Of you." i had no idea that he did. and so, when this idea
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  • I had no idea that he did. and so, when this idea of writing a book came up
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  • And so, when this idea of writing a book came up about six years ago,
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  • Of writing a book came up about six years ago, almost seven years ago,
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  • About six years ago, almost seven years ago, one impression hit me.
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  • Almost seven years ago, one impression hit me. it was the father saying,
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  • One impression hit me. it was the father saying, "that photo."
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  • It was the father saying, "that photo." we had different renditions
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  • "that photo." we had different renditions of that photo because
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  • We had different renditions of that photo because my son took a picture of me,
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  • Of that photo because my son took a picture of me, and i've never seen
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  • My son took a picture of me, and i've never seen a picture of my father.
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  • And i've never seen a picture of my father. james: well, i want
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  • A picture of my father. james: well, i want to tell you, tim,
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  • James: well, i want to tell you, tim, i just thank god for you.
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  • To tell you, tim, i just thank god for you. i want you to tell us
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  • I just thank god for you. i want you to tell us and our viewers
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  • I want you to tell us and our viewers about your story.
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  • And our viewers about your story. i hope you'll get this book
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  • About your story. i hope you'll get this book because it's in the bookstores
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  • But, we'd be happy to send it
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  • But, we'd be happy to send it to you if you'll help us
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  • To you if you'll help us feed some starving kids
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  • Feed some starving kids because we want to say
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  • Because we want to say a big thank you
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  • A big thank you for saving their lives.
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  • For saving their lives. tim, tell me a little bit
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  • And how you ended up
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  • And how you ended up where you are now
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  • And how you ended up where you are now after winning a national
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  • Where you are now after winning a national championship in football.
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  • After winning a national championship in football. winning the super bowl
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  • Championship in football. winning the super bowl is a pretty big deal
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  • Winning the super bowl is a pretty big deal for an athlete,
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  • Is a pretty big deal for an athlete, especially in football.
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  • For an athlete, especially in football. your whole world changed.
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  • Especially in football. your whole world changed. tell us about it.
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  • Your whole world changed. tell us about it. tim: so much of the details
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  • Tell us about it. tim: so much of the details of what i would share
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  • Tim: so much of the details of what i would share are actually in the book,
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  • Of what i would share are actually in the book, laid out pretty clearly.
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  • Are actually in the book, laid out pretty clearly. but i remember when
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  • Laid out pretty clearly. but i remember when i was in junior high,
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  • But i remember when i was in junior high, and like most kids,
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  • I was in junior high, and like most kids, i was trying to find my way
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  • And like most kids, i was trying to find my way like everyone else.
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  • I was trying to find my way like everyone else. but i remember in junior high,
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  • Like everyone else. but i remember in junior high, i got in trouble being
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  • But i remember in junior high, i got in trouble being associated with some kids
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  • I got in trouble being associated with some kids who were really in trouble.
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  • Associated with some kids who were really in trouble. you know how sometimes
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  • Who were really in trouble. you know how sometimes you say, well, i wasn't
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  • You know how sometimes you say, well, i wasn't in trouble.
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  • You say, well, i wasn't in trouble. i didn't really do it.
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  • In trouble. i didn't really do it. i actually did it.
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  • I didn't really do it. i actually did it. i'm in the principal's office,
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  • I actually did it. i'm in the principal's office, and i'm in this room,
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  • I'm in the principal's office, and i'm in this room, with just white walls.
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  • And i'm in this room, with just white walls. i realized i needed help.
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  • With just white walls. i realized i needed help. i felt like i was in jail
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  • I realized i needed help. i felt like i was in jail myself because
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  • I felt like i was in jail myself because the principal's office was
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  • Myself because the principal's office was a very fearful thing,
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  • The principal's office was a very fearful thing, and i was a long way
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  • A very fearful thing, and i was a long way away from home.
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  • And i was a long way away from home. they bussed us 45 minutes
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  • Away from home. they bussed us 45 minutes away for school
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  • They bussed us 45 minutes away for school from our neighborhood.
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  • Away for school from our neighborhood. so, i realized i couldn't
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  • From our neighborhood. so, i realized i couldn't call my mom because
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  • So, i realized i couldn't call my mom because she would work two
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  • Call my mom because she would work two or three jobs a day.
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  • She would work two or three jobs a day. i couldn't take her away.
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  • Or three jobs a day. i couldn't take her away. i realized i had nobody
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  • I couldn't take her away. i realized i had nobody to call.
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  • I realized i had nobody to call. i had no father to call.
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  • To call. i had no father to call. so, this is hindsight 20/20.
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  • I had no father to call. so, this is hindsight 20/20. i do believe that
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  • So, this is hindsight 20/20. i do believe that in my mind, i decided
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  • I do believe that in my mind, i decided to never need him,
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  • In my mind, i decided to never need him, to never need a father.
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  • To never need him, to never need a father. why need what you don't have?
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  • To never need a father. why need what you don't have? i began to move from there,
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  • Why need what you don't have? i began to move from there, adjusting my life based on
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  • I began to move from there, adjusting my life based on whatever i needed to do
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  • Adjusting my life based on whatever i needed to do for the moment to get by.
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  • Whatever i needed to do for the moment to get by. so, on my birth certificate --
  • 00:04:30.159 --> 00:04:32.995
  • For the moment to get by. so, on my birth certificate -- there's places on
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  • So, on my birth certificate -- there's places on everyone's birth certificate
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  • There's places on everyone's birth certificate for mom and dad.
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  • Everyone's birth certificate for mom and dad. so my mom's place is filled in
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  • For mom and dad. so my mom's place is filled in but in the father's space,
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  • So my mom's place is filled in but in the father's space, it's empty.
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  • But in the father's space, it's empty. so, i walked around
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  • It's empty. so, i walked around with a hole in my soul
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  • So, i walked around with a hole in my soul for many years, feeling like
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  • I didn't know i was
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  • I didn't know i was a person to be loved.
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  • A person to be loved. so through the course
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  • So through the course of time, just making it up
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  • Of time, just making it up as i went, i had
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  • With a gentleman that said,
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  • With a gentleman that said, "you can be different."
  • 00:05:02.959 --> 00:05:04.727
  • With a gentleman that said, "you can be different." he said, "you can
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  • "you can be different." he said, "you can be different."
  • 00:05:06.028 --> 00:05:07.163
  • He said, "you can be different." now mind you, i had
  • 00:05:07.230 --> 00:05:08.297
  • Be different." now mind you, i had just quit the junior high
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  • And i was very average
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  • And i was very average as an athlete.
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  • As an athlete. but he said, "you can
  • 00:05:12.835 --> 00:05:13.936
  • But he said, "you can be different."
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  • Be different." he told me about
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  • He told me about determination, motivation,
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  • Determination, motivation, discipline, and perseverance.
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  • Discipline, and perseverance. so i just said, "well,
  • 00:05:18.174 --> 00:05:19.142
  • I'm going to start
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  • I'm going to start applying myself."
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  • I'm going to start applying myself." i started lifting weights.
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  • Applying myself." i started lifting weights. i started being more focused
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  • I started lifting weights. i started being more focused on just being an athlete
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  • I started being more focused on just being an athlete after being a quitter
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  • On just being an athlete after being a quitter and trying to see
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  • After being a quitter and trying to see what this is all about.
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  • And trying to see what this is all about. he said something that was
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  • What this is all about. he said something that was critical, "there's someone
  • 00:05:32.021 --> 00:05:33.556
  • He said something that was critical, "there's someone around the corner that's
  • 00:05:33.623 --> 00:05:34.791
  • Critical, "there's someone around the corner that's always bigger and faster."
  • 00:05:34.857 --> 00:05:36.592
  • Around the corner that's always bigger and faster." so by the time
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  • Always bigger and faster." so by the time i graduated high school,
  • 00:05:37.894 --> 00:05:39.095
  • So by the time i graduated high school, i was an all-american
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  • I graduated high school, i was an all-american in high school,
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  • I was an all-american in high school, and i was recruited by
  • 00:05:41.697 --> 00:05:42.899
  • In high school, and i was recruited by most colleges in the country.
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  • And i was recruited by most colleges in the country. i had a free ticket
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  • Most colleges in the country. i had a free ticket to go anywhere.
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  • I had a free ticket to go anywhere. fast-forward to
  • 00:05:48.671 --> 00:05:49.839
  • To go anywhere. fast-forward to my second year in college,
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  • Fast-forward to my second year in college, i had another conversation.
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  • My second year in college, i had another conversation. this time it wasn't
  • 00:05:53.109 --> 00:05:54.243
  • I had another conversation. this time it wasn't about my athletics.
  • 00:05:54.310 --> 00:05:55.545
  • This time it wasn't about my athletics. it was about how
  • 00:05:55.611 --> 00:05:57.013
  • About my athletics. it was about how i could live differently.
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  • It was about how i could live differently. and that scared me real bad
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  • I could live differently. and that scared me real bad because i'd never known
  • 00:06:00.850 --> 00:06:02.218
  • And that scared me real bad because i'd never known how to tell the truth.
  • 00:06:02.285 --> 00:06:03.886
  • Because i'd never known how to tell the truth. i was a nice guy, prom king,
  • 00:06:03.953 --> 00:06:05.888
  • How to tell the truth. i was a nice guy, prom king, all-american in high school,
  • 00:06:05.955 --> 00:06:07.156
  • I was a nice guy, prom king, all-american in high school, and one of the captains
  • 00:06:07.223 --> 00:06:08.324
  • All-american in high school, and one of the captains of the football team.
  • 00:06:08.391 --> 00:06:09.459
  • And one of the captains of the football team. i had a lot favorably
  • 00:06:09.525 --> 00:06:10.626
  • Of the football team. i had a lot favorably going for me on the outside,
  • 00:06:10.693 --> 00:06:12.562
  • I had a lot favorably going for me on the outside, but i did not know
  • 00:06:12.628 --> 00:06:14.564
  • Going for me on the outside, but i did not know how to tell the truth,
  • 00:06:14.630 --> 00:06:15.965
  • But i did not know how to tell the truth, and it was evidenced by
  • 00:06:16.032 --> 00:06:17.166
  • How to tell the truth, and it was evidenced by my relationship with
  • 00:06:17.233 --> 00:06:18.267
  • And it was evidenced by my relationship with my future wife.
  • 00:06:18.334 --> 00:06:19.936
  • My relationship with my future wife. i hurt her so much.
  • 00:06:20.002 --> 00:06:22.138
  • My future wife. i hurt her so much. out of the pain of
  • 00:06:22.205 --> 00:06:23.206
  • I hurt her so much. out of the pain of my own fatherlessness,
  • 00:06:23.272 --> 00:06:24.540
  • Out of the pain of my own fatherlessness, i didn't know how
  • 00:06:24.607 --> 00:06:25.641
  • My own fatherlessness, i didn't know how to treat a young lady.
  • 00:06:25.708 --> 00:06:26.976
  • I didn't know how to treat a young lady. he said, "you can
  • 00:06:27.043 --> 00:06:28.377
  • To treat a young lady. he said, "you can live differently."
  • 00:06:28.444 --> 00:06:29.912
  • He said, "you can live differently." and he preached the gospel.
  • 00:06:29.979 --> 00:06:31.714
  • Live differently." and he preached the gospel. after overcoming fear,
  • 00:06:31.781 --> 00:06:32.915
  • And he preached the gospel. after overcoming fear, i realized i didn't have
  • 00:06:32.982 --> 00:06:33.983
  • After overcoming fear, i realized i didn't have to change my life, but
  • 00:06:34.050 --> 00:06:35.818
  • I realized i didn't have to change my life, but i had to humble myself
  • 00:06:35.885 --> 00:06:37.420
  • To change my life, but i had to humble myself to trust that jesus would.
  • 00:06:37.487 --> 00:06:40.223
  • I had to humble myself to trust that jesus would. and when i finally let go
  • 00:06:40.289 --> 00:06:41.657
  • To trust that jesus would. and when i finally let go of all the things that
  • 00:06:41.724 --> 00:06:43.860
  • And when i finally let go of all the things that were barriers and things
  • 00:06:43.926 --> 00:06:45.461
  • Of all the things that were barriers and things that i was gripping tight
  • 00:06:45.528 --> 00:06:47.296
  • Were barriers and things that i was gripping tight because i thought
  • 00:06:47.363 --> 00:06:48.464
  • That i was gripping tight because i thought this was my life,
  • 00:06:48.531 --> 00:06:49.532
  • Because i thought this was my life, i let it go.
  • 00:06:49.599 --> 00:06:51.000
  • This was my life, i let it go. he gave me a new life
  • 00:06:51.067 --> 00:06:52.502
  • I let it go. he gave me a new life and forgave me of all my sins.
  • 00:06:52.568 --> 00:06:54.370
  • He gave me a new life and forgave me of all my sins. i'm married today
  • 00:06:54.437 --> 00:06:55.638
  • And forgave me of all my sins. i'm married today to that woman that
  • 00:06:55.705 --> 00:06:57.006
  • I'm married today to that woman that i couldn't tell the truth to
  • 00:06:57.073 --> 00:06:58.574
  • To that woman that i couldn't tell the truth to because he restored
  • 00:06:58.641 --> 00:07:00.343
  • I couldn't tell the truth to because he restored everything that i had
  • 00:07:00.409 --> 00:07:02.311
  • Because he restored everything that i had given away and lost because
  • 00:07:02.378 --> 00:07:04.680
  • Everything that i had given away and lost because of the hole in my soul.
  • 00:07:04.747 --> 00:07:06.215
  • Given away and lost because of the hole in my soul. he filled it with the love
  • 00:07:06.282 --> 00:07:07.550
  • Of the hole in my soul. he filled it with the love of the father.
  • 00:07:07.617 --> 00:07:08.851
  • He filled it with the love of the father. james: did you find
  • 00:07:08.918 --> 00:07:10.219
  • Of the father. james: did you find in some way the reality
  • 00:07:10.286 --> 00:07:12.922
  • James: did you find in some way the reality of a real father?
  • 00:07:12.989 --> 00:07:14.690
  • In some way the reality of a real father? tim: yes.
  • 00:07:14.757 --> 00:07:16.859
  • Of a real father? tim: yes. you know mine was a pretty
  • 00:07:16.926 --> 00:07:17.960
  • Tim: yes. you know mine was a pretty dramatic experience,
  • 00:07:18.027 --> 00:07:19.362
  • You know mine was a pretty dramatic experience, and i've talked to people
  • 00:07:19.428 --> 00:07:20.496
  • Dramatic experience, and i've talked to people and they've had these.
  • 00:07:20.563 --> 00:07:22.331
  • And i've talked to people and they've had these. when i was with
  • 00:07:22.398 --> 00:07:23.466
  • And they've had these. when i was with the pittsburgh steelers
  • 00:07:23.533 --> 00:07:24.600
  • When i was with the pittsburgh steelers that first year, we would
  • 00:07:24.667 --> 00:07:25.701
  • The pittsburgh steelers that first year, we would drive back and forth 3.5 hours
  • 00:07:25.768 --> 00:07:27.136
  • That first year, we would drive back and forth 3.5 hours one way to church,
  • 00:07:27.203 --> 00:07:28.271
  • Drive back and forth 3.5 hours one way to church, my wife and i.
  • 00:07:28.337 --> 00:07:29.572
  • One way to church, my wife and i. so weekend after weekend,
  • 00:07:29.639 --> 00:07:31.374
  • My wife and i. so weekend after weekend, i would work out,
  • 00:07:31.440 --> 00:07:32.441
  • So weekend after weekend, i would work out, train during the week,
  • 00:07:32.508 --> 00:07:33.476
  • I would work out, train during the week, get in the car, and we'd go
  • 00:07:33.543 --> 00:07:34.544
  • Train during the week, get in the car, and we'd go to state college.
  • 00:07:34.610 --> 00:07:36.078
  • Get in the car, and we'd go to state college. every saturday, we would
  • 00:07:36.145 --> 00:07:37.246
  • To state college. every saturday, we would have the pastor teaching us
  • 00:07:37.313 --> 00:07:38.915
  • Every saturday, we would have the pastor teaching us young leaders.
  • 00:07:38.981 --> 00:07:40.516
  • Have the pastor teaching us young leaders. it was just a routine.
  • 00:07:40.583 --> 00:07:41.784
  • Young leaders. it was just a routine. we were so thrilled that
  • 00:07:41.851 --> 00:07:43.219
  • It was just a routine. we were so thrilled that we got to drive 3.5 hours.
  • 00:07:43.286 --> 00:07:44.487
  • We were so thrilled that we got to drive 3.5 hours. we didn't know you were
  • 00:07:44.554 --> 00:07:45.721
  • We got to drive 3.5 hours. we didn't know you were supposed to complain.
  • 00:07:45.788 --> 00:07:47.590
  • We didn't know you were supposed to complain. and so, one saturday
  • 00:07:47.657 --> 00:07:49.692
  • Supposed to complain. and so, one saturday we do the same routine.
  • 00:07:49.759 --> 00:07:51.594
  • And so, one saturday we do the same routine. we get in a circle
  • 00:07:51.661 --> 00:07:53.062
  • We do the same routine. we get in a circle and this time
  • 00:07:53.129 --> 00:07:54.964
  • We get in a circle and this time something happens
  • 00:07:55.031 --> 00:07:56.065
  • And this time something happens that's unexplainable.
  • 00:07:56.132 --> 00:07:57.500
  • Something happens that's unexplainable. instead of praying,
  • 00:07:57.567 --> 00:07:58.568
  • That's unexplainable. instead of praying, i ended up
  • 00:07:58.634 --> 00:07:59.702
  • Instead of praying, i ended up in the fetal position,
  • 00:07:59.769 --> 00:08:01.504
  • I ended up in the fetal position, bawling my eyes out,
  • 00:08:01.571 --> 00:08:03.706
  • In the fetal position, bawling my eyes out, crying like a baby.
  • 00:08:03.773 --> 00:08:06.576
  • Bawling my eyes out, crying like a baby. i feel myself in the room
  • 00:08:06.642 --> 00:08:08.210
  • Crying like a baby. i feel myself in the room and i'm wondering --
  • 00:08:08.277 --> 00:08:10.880
  • I feel myself in the room and i'm wondering -- i'm sure you've had
  • 00:08:10.947 --> 00:08:12.081
  • And i'm wondering -- i'm sure you've had the situation where
  • 00:08:12.148 --> 00:08:13.082
  • I'm sure you've had the situation where you're kind of wondering,
  • 00:08:13.149 --> 00:08:14.350
  • The situation where you're kind of wondering, why am i here?
  • 00:08:14.417 --> 00:08:15.518
  • You're kind of wondering, why am i here? like, what's going on?
  • 00:08:15.585 --> 00:08:16.552
  • Why am i here? like, what's going on? you're talking to yourself.
  • 00:08:16.619 --> 00:08:17.687
  • Like, what's going on? you're talking to yourself. i was thinking,
  • 00:08:17.753 --> 00:08:18.721
  • You're talking to yourself. i was thinking, why are you down here?
  • 00:08:18.788 --> 00:08:19.822
  • I was thinking, why are you down here? why are you crying?
  • 00:08:19.889 --> 00:08:21.023
  • Why are you down here? why are you crying? i'm a pro football player.
  • 00:08:21.090 --> 00:08:22.091
  • Why are you crying? i'm a pro football player. i got a wife.
  • 00:08:22.158 --> 00:08:23.259
  • I'm a pro football player. i got a wife. i got a kid.
  • 00:08:23.326 --> 00:08:24.327
  • I got a wife. i got a kid. i actually have a car now.
  • 00:08:24.393 --> 00:08:25.361
  • I got a kid. i actually have a car now. my bills are paid.
  • 00:08:25.428 --> 00:08:26.462
  • I actually have a car now. my bills are paid. there was no reason.
  • 00:08:26.529 --> 00:08:27.697
  • My bills are paid. there was no reason. i'm on the ground
  • 00:08:27.763 --> 00:08:28.764
  • There was no reason. i'm on the ground and the pastor hesitated.
  • 00:08:28.831 --> 00:08:29.832
  • I'm on the ground and the pastor hesitated. i feel the room, but
  • 00:08:29.899 --> 00:08:30.967
  • And the pastor hesitated. i feel the room, but i don't see it because
  • 00:08:31.033 --> 00:08:32.101
  • I feel the room, but i don't see it because i'm bawling.
  • 00:08:32.168 --> 00:08:33.169
  • I don't see it because i'm bawling. he comes over and says,
  • 00:08:33.235 --> 00:08:34.704
  • I'm bawling. he comes over and says, "everything okay?"
  • 00:08:34.770 --> 00:08:37.173
  • He comes over and says, "everything okay?" and out comes,
  • 00:08:37.239 --> 00:08:38.507
  • "everything okay?" and out comes, "i've never had a father.
  • 00:08:38.574 --> 00:08:40.943
  • And out comes, "i've never had a father. i never had a father.
  • 00:08:41.010 --> 00:08:42.945
  • "i've never had a father. i never had a father. i never had a father."
  • 00:08:43.012 --> 00:08:44.447
  • I never had a father. i never had a father." i didn't even know
  • 00:08:44.513 --> 00:08:45.548
  • I never had a father." i didn't even know that was in there.
  • 00:08:45.615 --> 00:08:47.016
  • I didn't even know that was in there. i had no clue
  • 00:08:47.083 --> 00:08:48.985
  • That was in there. i had no clue that was in there.
  • 00:08:49.051 --> 00:08:50.653
  • I had no clue that was in there. that little boy
  • 00:08:50.720 --> 00:08:53.022
  • That was in there. that little boy is the one jesus found
  • 00:08:53.089 --> 00:08:55.458
  • That little boy is the one jesus found that he says,
  • 00:08:55.524 --> 00:08:56.926
  • To leave you alone.
  • 00:08:58.561 --> 00:09:01.998
  • To leave you alone. i will not leave you
  • 00:09:02.064 --> 00:09:03.299
  • I will not leave you as orphans.
  • 00:09:03.366 --> 00:09:04.800
  • As orphans. i am going to introduce you,"
  • 00:09:04.867 --> 00:09:07.370
  • I am going to introduce you," because the pastor said this.
  • 00:09:07.436 --> 00:09:09.438
  • He's going to father you."
  • 00:09:11.507 --> 00:09:13.776
  • He's going to father you." and now, salvation meant
  • 00:09:13.843 --> 00:09:15.645
  • He's going to father you." and now, salvation meant more than just me
  • 00:09:15.711 --> 00:09:16.912
  • And now, salvation meant more than just me being forgiven for my sins
  • 00:09:16.979 --> 00:09:18.347
  • More than just me being forgiven for my sins and having eternal life.
  • 00:09:18.414 --> 00:09:20.516
  • Being forgiven for my sins and having eternal life. it's there's no reason
  • 00:09:20.583 --> 00:09:21.851
  • And having eternal life. it's there's no reason for heaven without the father.
  • 00:09:21.917 --> 00:09:23.719
  • It's there's no reason for heaven without the father. so it was that moment
  • 00:09:23.786 --> 00:09:25.755
  • For heaven without the father. so it was that moment that began to shift
  • 00:09:25.821 --> 00:09:27.256
  • So it was that moment that began to shift my whole life to realizing
  • 00:09:27.323 --> 00:09:30.359
  • That began to shift my whole life to realizing that my birth certificate
  • 00:09:30.426 --> 00:09:32.161
  • My whole life to realizing that my birth certificate now has a name on it
  • 00:09:32.228 --> 00:09:33.596
  • That my birth certificate now has a name on it that no one can see but me.
  • 00:09:33.663 --> 00:09:35.064
  • Now has a name on it that no one can see but me. it's "heavenly father"
  • 00:09:35.131 --> 00:09:36.565
  • That no one can see but me. it's "heavenly father" written in red because
  • 00:09:36.632 --> 00:09:37.667
  • It's "heavenly father" written in red because it cost the blood of his son
  • 00:09:37.733 --> 00:09:39.869
  • Written in red because it cost the blood of his son to break the curse
  • 00:09:39.935 --> 00:09:41.170
  • It cost the blood of his son to break the curse of fatherlessness
  • 00:09:41.237 --> 00:09:42.405
  • James: you know as you were
  • 00:09:43.839 --> 00:09:45.107
  • James: you know as you were telling that i was flashing
  • 00:09:45.174 --> 00:09:46.409
  • Telling that i was flashing through all the years of
  • 00:09:46.475 --> 00:09:48.377
  • Through all the years of -- i don't know because
  • 00:09:48.444 --> 00:09:50.413
  • -- i don't know because i never did have a father.
  • 00:09:50.479 --> 00:09:52.648
  • Kind of fill in but
  • 00:09:54.116 --> 00:09:58.054
  • Kind of fill in but i remember he became
  • 00:09:58.120 --> 00:09:59.588
  • Kind of fill in but i remember he became my father.
  • 00:09:59.655 --> 00:10:01.891
  • I remember he became my father. he became the father
  • 00:10:01.957 --> 00:10:03.259
  • My father. he became the father of the fatherless kid.
  • 00:10:03.325 --> 00:10:05.594
  • He became the father of the fatherless kid. you've been so incredible!
  • 00:10:05.661 --> 00:10:07.863
  • Of the fatherless kid. you've been so incredible! he's always listening.
  • 00:10:07.930 --> 00:10:09.031
  • You've been so incredible! he's always listening. he's always ready to speak.
  • 00:10:09.098 --> 00:10:11.167
  • He's always listening. he's always ready to speak. i want to thank you
  • 00:10:11.233 --> 00:10:12.368
  • He's always ready to speak. i want to thank you because you do talk to me
  • 00:10:12.435 --> 00:10:13.536
  • I want to thank you because you do talk to me so much, so clearly.
  • 00:10:13.602 --> 00:10:15.371
  • Because you do talk to me so much, so clearly. and you're so patient,
  • 00:10:15.438 --> 00:10:16.572
  • So much, so clearly. and you're so patient, you're so loving.
  • 00:10:16.639 --> 00:10:18.107
  • And you're so patient, you're so loving. you're so inspirational,
  • 00:10:18.174 --> 00:10:19.508
  • You're so loving. you're so inspirational, you're so powerful!
  • 00:10:19.575 --> 00:10:21.010
  • You're so inspirational, you're so powerful! i think the exciting thing
  • 00:10:21.077 --> 00:10:22.311
  • You're so powerful! i think the exciting thing right now for me
  • 00:10:22.378 --> 00:10:23.512
  • I think the exciting thing right now for me to be able to say, tim
  • 00:10:23.579 --> 00:10:24.613
  • Right now for me to be able to say, tim is that i have lost my life
  • 00:10:24.680 --> 00:10:26.482
  • To be able to say, tim is that i have lost my life in his dream and he knows it.
  • 00:10:26.549 --> 00:10:29.719
  • Is that i have lost my life in his dream and he knows it. i'm talking to him
  • 00:10:29.785 --> 00:10:31.754
  • In his dream and he knows it. i'm talking to him about fulfilling his dream.
  • 00:10:31.821 --> 00:10:34.090
  • I'm talking to him about fulfilling his dream. that's what i want.
  • 00:10:34.156 --> 00:10:35.224
  • About fulfilling his dream. that's what i want. i said i want to fulfill
  • 00:10:35.291 --> 00:10:36.325
  • That's what i want. i said i want to fulfill your vision and your dream.
  • 00:10:36.392 --> 00:10:37.626
  • I said i want to fulfill your vision and your dream. but i'm telling him
  • 00:10:37.693 --> 00:10:39.195
  • Your vision and your dream. but i'm telling him he's so real
  • 00:10:39.261 --> 00:10:41.263
  • But i'm telling him he's so real and he is to you.
  • 00:10:41.330 --> 00:10:42.798
  • He's so real and he is to you. and now i feel like
  • 00:10:42.865 --> 00:10:43.933
  • And he is to you. and now i feel like with what you're doing,
  • 00:10:43.999 --> 00:10:46.001
  • And now i feel like with what you're doing, you're seeing others come
  • 00:10:46.068 --> 00:10:48.137
  • With what you're doing, you're seeing others come to know that father.
  • 00:10:48.204 --> 00:10:49.839
  • You're seeing others come to know that father. no matter what kind
  • 00:10:49.905 --> 00:10:51.040
  • To know that father. no matter what kind of father they've got,
  • 00:10:51.107 --> 00:10:52.341
  • No matter what kind of father they've got, they've come to know
  • 00:10:52.408 --> 00:10:53.576
  • Of father they've got, they've come to know the father everyone can have,
  • 00:10:53.642 --> 00:10:55.244
  • They've come to know the father everyone can have, who is the ultimate father.
  • 00:10:55.311 --> 00:10:56.645
  • The father everyone can have, who is the ultimate father. tim: yes.
  • 00:10:56.712 --> 00:10:58.681
  • Who is the ultimate father. tim: yes. my heart is compelled
  • 00:10:58.748 --> 00:11:00.716
  • Tim: yes. my heart is compelled when you say
  • 00:11:00.783 --> 00:11:02.284
  • My heart is compelled when you say "the father's dream."
  • 00:11:02.351 --> 00:11:04.220
  • When you say "the father's dream." in march of 2022, i was
  • 00:11:04.286 --> 00:11:05.821
  • "the father's dream." in march of 2022, i was in nashville, oddly enough,
  • 00:11:05.888 --> 00:11:09.258
  • In march of 2022, i was in nashville, oddly enough, and i prayed a prayer.
  • 00:11:09.325 --> 00:11:11.594
  • In nashville, oddly enough, and i prayed a prayer. not what i want.
  • 00:11:11.660 --> 00:11:13.162
  • And i prayed a prayer. not what i want. i prayed, "father, show me
  • 00:11:13.229 --> 00:11:15.264
  • Not what i want. i prayed, "father, show me the secrets of your heart.
  • 00:11:15.331 --> 00:11:17.333
  • I prayed, "father, show me the secrets of your heart. because i realized
  • 00:11:17.399 --> 00:11:18.534
  • The secrets of your heart. because i realized i don't have much
  • 00:11:18.601 --> 00:11:19.869
  • Because i realized i don't have much past encouragement
  • 00:11:19.935 --> 00:11:20.970
  • I don't have much past encouragement to give people to change
  • 00:11:21.036 --> 00:11:22.805
  • Past encouragement to give people to change the human condition.
  • 00:11:22.872 --> 00:11:24.540
  • To give people to change the human condition. but one little word
  • 00:11:24.607 --> 00:11:25.741
  • The human condition. but one little word from your heart
  • 00:11:25.808 --> 00:11:27.343
  • But one little word from your heart can change any heart."
  • 00:11:27.409 --> 00:11:29.845
  • From your heart can change any heart." do you know what he said?
  • 00:11:29.912 --> 00:11:31.447
  • Can change any heart." do you know what he said? two words: "rikers island."
  • 00:11:31.514 --> 00:11:33.983
  • Do you know what he said? two words: "rikers island." he spoke to me.
  • 00:11:34.049 --> 00:11:35.217
  • Two words: "rikers island." he spoke to me. i don't always hear
  • 00:11:35.284 --> 00:11:36.585
  • He spoke to me. i don't always hear what he has to say.
  • 00:11:36.652 --> 00:11:37.820
  • I don't always hear what he has to say. he says, "rikers island."
  • 00:11:37.887 --> 00:11:39.155
  • What he has to say. he says, "rikers island." i knew what it was.
  • 00:11:39.221 --> 00:11:41.323
  • He says, "rikers island." i knew what it was. i was aware of it.
  • 00:11:41.390 --> 00:11:42.658
  • I knew what it was. i was aware of it. but i googled
  • 00:11:42.725 --> 00:11:43.826
  • I was aware of it. but i googled "rikers island" because
  • 00:11:43.893 --> 00:11:44.894
  • But i googled "rikers island" because i thought it was close.
  • 00:11:44.960 --> 00:11:46.262
  • "rikers island" because i thought it was close. it's one of the most
  • 00:11:46.328 --> 00:11:47.897
  • I thought it was close. it's one of the most notorious jails
  • 00:11:47.963 --> 00:11:48.964
  • It's one of the most notorious jails in the world.
  • 00:11:49.031 --> 00:11:51.133
  • Notorious jails in the world. it's an island of
  • 00:11:51.200 --> 00:11:52.268
  • In the world. it's an island of just jails on the hills
  • 00:11:52.334 --> 00:11:53.836
  • It's an island of just jails on the hills of queens in new york city.
  • 00:11:53.903 --> 00:11:56.872
  • Just jails on the hills of queens in new york city. it is where the worst
  • 00:11:56.939 --> 00:11:59.742
  • Of queens in new york city. it is where the worst of the worst go.
  • 00:11:59.809 --> 00:12:02.044
  • It is where the worst of the worst go. it's a very violent place.
  • 00:12:02.111 --> 00:12:03.479
  • Of the worst go. it's a very violent place. they call it hell on earth,
  • 00:12:03.546 --> 00:12:04.747
  • It's a very violent place. they call it hell on earth, basically.
  • 00:12:04.814 --> 00:12:05.881
  • They call it hell on earth, basically. so i'm wondering,
  • 00:12:05.948 --> 00:12:07.016
  • Basically. so i'm wondering, what does this have
  • 00:12:07.082 --> 00:12:08.083
  • So i'm wondering, what does this have to do with me?
  • 00:12:08.150 --> 00:12:09.151
  • What does this have to do with me? mind you, i ask,
  • 00:12:09.218 --> 00:12:10.252
  • To do with me? mind you, i ask, what's on your heart?
  • 00:12:10.319 --> 00:12:11.821
  • Mind you, i ask, what's on your heart? i have a paragraph
  • 00:12:11.887 --> 00:12:13.622
  • What's on your heart? i have a paragraph still in my notes
  • 00:12:13.689 --> 00:12:15.357
  • I have a paragraph still in my notes where he showed me
  • 00:12:15.424 --> 00:12:17.359
  • Still in my notes where he showed me what he wanted to do.
  • 00:12:17.426 --> 00:12:20.729
  • Where he showed me what he wanted to do. he says the theme of
  • 00:12:20.796 --> 00:12:22.298
  • What he wanted to do. he says the theme of what he wanted to do was
  • 00:12:22.364 --> 00:12:23.866
  • He says the theme of what he wanted to do was i'm going to move in
  • 00:12:23.933 --> 00:12:25.901
  • What he wanted to do was i'm going to move in that dark place in the lives
  • 00:12:25.968 --> 00:12:28.204
  • I'm going to move in that dark place in the lives of those no one
  • 00:12:28.270 --> 00:12:29.839
  • That dark place in the lives of those no one has answers for.
  • 00:12:29.905 --> 00:12:32.508
  • Of those no one has answers for. i'm shook.
  • 00:12:32.575 --> 00:12:34.343
  • Has answers for. i'm shook. i end up on my bed
  • 00:12:34.410 --> 00:12:35.644
  • I'm shook. i end up on my bed in the fetal position,
  • 00:12:35.711 --> 00:12:37.146
  • I end up on my bed in the fetal position, getting like,
  • 00:12:37.213 --> 00:12:38.314
  • In the fetal position, getting like, what are you doing?
  • 00:12:38.380 --> 00:12:39.582
  • Getting like, what are you doing? i don't understand this.
  • 00:12:39.648 --> 00:12:41.317
  • In june of 2022,
  • 00:12:43.052 --> 00:12:46.088
  • In june of 2022, i landed on rikers island
  • 00:12:46.155 --> 00:12:48.224
  • I landed on rikers island and the miracles,
  • 00:12:48.290 --> 00:12:49.458
  • And the miracles, we don't even have time
  • 00:12:49.525 --> 00:12:50.626
  • We don't even have time to tell you how i got there.
  • 00:12:50.693 --> 00:12:52.528
  • From that time,
  • 00:12:54.897 --> 00:12:56.699
  • From that time, rikers island was
  • 00:12:56.765 --> 00:12:58.167
  • From that time, rikers island was at the height of violence.
  • 00:12:58.234 --> 00:13:00.569
  • Rikers island was at the height of violence. as we began the journey,
  • 00:13:00.636 --> 00:13:02.004
  • At the height of violence. as we began the journey, i lived on rikers island,
  • 00:13:02.071 --> 00:13:03.639
  • As we began the journey, i lived on rikers island, me and my former teammate,
  • 00:13:03.706 --> 00:13:05.708
  • I lived on rikers island, me and my former teammate, and lived in an rv.
  • 00:13:05.774 --> 00:13:07.276
  • Me and my former teammate, and lived in an rv. never been done before,
  • 00:13:07.343 --> 00:13:08.644
  • And lived in an rv. never been done before, on rikers island
  • 00:13:08.711 --> 00:13:09.745
  • Never been done before, on rikers island for five months,
  • 00:13:09.812 --> 00:13:11.347
  • On rikers island for five months, with an original group
  • 00:13:11.413 --> 00:13:12.548
  • For five months, with an original group of the who's who for crime
  • 00:13:12.615 --> 00:13:13.949
  • With an original group of the who's who for crime in new york city
  • 00:13:14.016 --> 00:13:15.351
  • Of the who's who for crime in new york city in the 18- to 21-year-old
  • 00:13:15.417 --> 00:13:17.052
  • In new york city in the 18- to 21-year-old population.
  • 00:13:17.119 --> 00:13:18.921
  • In the 18- to 21-year-old population. so the violence
  • 00:13:18.988 --> 00:13:19.989
  • Population. so the violence is at an all-time high.
  • 00:13:20.055 --> 00:13:21.523
  • So the violence is at an all-time high. this should have never
  • 00:13:21.590 --> 00:13:22.625
  • Is at an all-time high. this should have never happened to have
  • 00:13:22.691 --> 00:13:23.759
  • This should have never happened to have these individuals
  • 00:13:23.826 --> 00:13:24.960
  • Happened to have these individuals in the same room,
  • 00:13:25.027 --> 00:13:26.729
  • These individuals in the same room, and it not be a bloodbath.
  • 00:13:26.795 --> 00:13:29.064
  • In the same room, and it not be a bloodbath. i didn't have a weapon
  • 00:13:29.131 --> 00:13:30.733
  • And it not be a bloodbath. i didn't have a weapon except a word from the father
  • 00:13:30.799 --> 00:13:33.435
  • I didn't have a weapon except a word from the father that he was going to move.
  • 00:13:33.502 --> 00:13:35.170
  • Except a word from the father that he was going to move. and move he did!
  • 00:13:35.237 --> 00:13:36.972
  • That he was going to move. and move he did! because out of the 16,
  • 00:13:37.039 --> 00:13:39.041
  • And move he did! because out of the 16, a couple of them had to go on,
  • 00:13:39.108 --> 00:13:41.143
  • Because out of the 16, a couple of them had to go on, baptized 11
  • 00:13:41.210 --> 00:13:42.311
  • A couple of them had to go on, baptized 11 in the original group.
  • 00:13:42.378 --> 00:13:43.846
  • Baptized 11 in the original group. in june, it will be
  • 00:13:43.913 --> 00:13:45.314
  • In the original group. in june, it will be three years where we've had
  • 00:13:45.381 --> 00:13:46.782
  • In june, it will be three years where we've had over 100 guys
  • 00:13:46.849 --> 00:13:48.117
  • Three years where we've had over 100 guys and have baptized over 80.
  • 00:13:48.183 --> 00:13:50.486
  • Over 100 guys and have baptized over 80. james: isn't that great!
  • 00:13:50.552 --> 00:13:51.854
  • And have baptized over 80. james: isn't that great! tim: and the violence
  • 00:13:51.921 --> 00:13:53.155
  • James: isn't that great! tim: and the violence in the jail went down
  • 00:13:53.222 --> 00:13:54.890
  • Tim: and the violence in the jail went down that first year, along with
  • 00:13:54.957 --> 00:13:56.458
  • In the jail went down that first year, along with other things that they did.
  • 00:13:56.525 --> 00:13:58.761
  • Because he loves me so much,
  • 00:14:03.532 --> 00:14:06.468
  • Because he loves me so much, i want to learn to enjoy
  • 00:14:06.535 --> 00:14:07.903
  • I want to learn to enjoy his love and be an extension,
  • 00:14:07.970 --> 00:14:11.507
  • His love and be an extension, access point of his love
  • 00:14:11.573 --> 00:14:13.676
  • I pray, "let my life reveal
  • 00:14:15.077 --> 00:14:16.979
  • I pray, "let my life reveal the secrets of your heart,
  • 00:14:17.046 --> 00:14:18.647
  • I pray, "let my life reveal the secrets of your heart, whatever it may be."
  • 00:14:18.714 --> 00:14:19.982
  • James: that's what he's doing,
  • 00:14:20.082 --> 00:14:21.684
  • James: that's what he's doing, and that's what
  • 00:14:21.750 --> 00:14:22.751
  • James: that's what he's doing, and that's what your wife inspires.
  • 00:14:22.818 --> 00:14:24.053
  • And that's what your wife inspires. aren't they
  • 00:14:24.119 --> 00:14:25.354
  • Your wife inspires. aren't they a beautiful couple?
  • 00:14:25.421 --> 00:14:26.355
  • Aren't they a beautiful couple? betty: they really are!
  • 00:14:26.422 --> 00:14:27.556
  • As i listened to
  • 00:14:27.656 --> 00:14:28.691
  • As i listened to your testimony of how
  • 00:14:28.757 --> 00:14:30.025
  • As i listened to your testimony of how god has worked in your life,
  • 00:14:30.092 --> 00:14:31.794
  • Your testimony of how god has worked in your life, the deliverance
  • 00:14:31.860 --> 00:14:33.028
  • God has worked in your life, the deliverance he brought you,
  • 00:14:33.095 --> 00:14:34.196
  • The deliverance he brought you, i was sitting here thinking
  • 00:14:34.263 --> 00:14:35.464
  • He brought you, i was sitting here thinking that not everyone will
  • 00:14:35.531 --> 00:14:36.665
  • I was sitting here thinking that not everyone will experience the same kind
  • 00:14:36.732 --> 00:14:37.900
  • That not everyone will experience the same kind of deliverance.
  • 00:14:37.967 --> 00:14:39.134
  • Experience the same kind of deliverance. god knows our hearts
  • 00:14:39.201 --> 00:14:40.502
  • Of deliverance. god knows our hearts better than we do.
  • 00:14:40.569 --> 00:14:41.770
  • God knows our hearts better than we do. he knows what we need
  • 00:14:41.837 --> 00:14:43.339
  • Better than we do. he knows what we need for where we are.
  • 00:14:43.405 --> 00:14:44.673
  • He knows what we need for where we are. it may be a striking moment
  • 00:14:44.740 --> 00:14:47.710
  • For where we are. it may be a striking moment like you had on the floor
  • 00:14:47.776 --> 00:14:49.778
  • It may be a striking moment like you had on the floor before him.
  • 00:14:49.845 --> 00:14:50.913
  • Like you had on the floor before him. but it may be just
  • 00:14:50.980 --> 00:14:52.314
  • Before him. but it may be just in the quietness of home.
  • 00:14:52.381 --> 00:14:54.917
  • But it may be just in the quietness of home. many, many times,
  • 00:14:54.984 --> 00:14:56.986
  • In the quietness of home. many, many times, god in my quietness,
  • 00:14:57.052 --> 00:14:59.388
  • Many, many times, god in my quietness, when i take time to say,
  • 00:14:59.455 --> 00:15:00.689
  • God in my quietness, when i take time to say, "god, talk to me,"
  • 00:15:00.756 --> 00:15:02.825
  • When i take time to say, "god, talk to me," he brings such liberation
  • 00:15:02.891 --> 00:15:05.361
  • "god, talk to me," he brings such liberation and such compassion
  • 00:15:05.427 --> 00:15:07.229
  • He brings such liberation and such compassion and such love for him
  • 00:15:07.296 --> 00:15:09.298
  • And such compassion and such love for him and what he wants to do
  • 00:15:09.365 --> 00:15:10.733
  • And such love for him and what he wants to do through this one body,
  • 00:15:10.799 --> 00:15:12.234
  • And what he wants to do through this one body, this one person.
  • 00:15:12.301 --> 00:15:13.936
  • Through this one body, this one person. he wants to do so much
  • 00:15:14.003 --> 00:15:15.204
  • You just yield to him
  • 00:15:16.939 --> 00:15:19.408
  • You just yield to him and say, god, what
  • 00:15:19.475 --> 00:15:20.709
  • And say, god, what do you see that i don't see?
  • 00:15:20.776 --> 00:15:24.980
  • Do you see that i don't see? james: i want us to --
  • 00:15:25.047 --> 00:15:26.048
  • James: i want us to -- i want you to hold my hand,
  • 00:15:26.115 --> 00:15:27.249
  • I want you to hold my hand, betty.
  • 00:15:27.316 --> 00:15:28.317
  • Betty. i want you to reach over here;
  • 00:15:28.384 --> 00:15:29.485
  • I want you to reach over here; just lean toward me.
  • 00:15:29.551 --> 00:15:30.552
  • Just lean toward me. i want all of you to know
  • 00:15:30.619 --> 00:15:31.754
  • I want all of you to know that i want you
  • 00:15:31.820 --> 00:15:32.821
  • That i want you in this circle.
  • 00:15:32.888 --> 00:15:33.889
  • In this circle. i don't know what kind
  • 00:15:33.956 --> 00:15:34.957
  • I don't know what kind of relationship you had
  • 00:15:35.024 --> 00:15:36.025
  • Of relationship you had with your father,
  • 00:15:36.091 --> 00:15:37.092
  • With your father, if you ever knew one,
  • 00:15:37.159 --> 00:15:38.160
  • If you ever knew one, but you can know one.
  • 00:15:38.227 --> 00:15:40.362
  • But you can know one. he loves you so much.
  • 00:15:40.429 --> 00:15:42.431
  • He loves you so much. he wants you
  • 00:15:42.498 --> 00:15:43.699
  • He wants you in a circle of love.
  • 00:15:43.766 --> 00:15:45.401
  • In a circle of love. he wants you to help
  • 00:15:45.467 --> 00:15:46.468
  • He wants you to help get his arms around
  • 00:15:46.535 --> 00:15:47.569
  • Get his arms around a broken world,
  • 00:15:47.636 --> 00:15:48.904
  • A broken world, a dying world,
  • 00:15:48.971 --> 00:15:50.072
  • A dying world, a desperate world
  • 00:15:50.139 --> 00:15:51.140
  • A desperate world he gave his son to redeem.
  • 00:15:51.206 --> 00:15:53.175
  • He gave his son to redeem. he wants to heal
  • 00:15:53.242 --> 00:15:54.309
  • He wants to heal your broken heart.
  • 00:15:54.376 --> 00:15:55.644
  • Your broken heart. he wants to hold you.
  • 00:15:55.711 --> 00:15:57.312
  • He wants to hold you. he wants to flow life
  • 00:15:57.379 --> 00:15:58.480
  • He wants to flow life through you like a river.
  • 00:15:58.547 --> 00:15:59.848
  • Through you like a river. father, i feel like
  • 00:15:59.915 --> 00:16:01.617
  • Father, i feel like there are people trying to
  • 00:16:01.683 --> 00:16:02.618
  • There are people trying to press in around this table.
  • 00:16:02.684 --> 00:16:04.319
  • Press in around this table. maybe they're just
  • 00:16:04.386 --> 00:16:05.487
  • Maybe they're just sitting in a public place,
  • 00:16:05.554 --> 00:16:06.588
  • Sitting in a public place, but they happen to see a tv,
  • 00:16:06.655 --> 00:16:08.424
  • But they happen to see a tv, or they're at home.
  • 00:16:08.490 --> 00:16:09.525
  • Or they're at home. maybe they're still
  • 00:16:09.591 --> 00:16:10.759
  • Maybe they're still in their pajamas.
  • 00:16:10.826 --> 00:16:12.394
  • In their pajamas. there they are, but
  • 00:16:12.461 --> 00:16:14.696
  • There they are, but they want to be
  • 00:16:14.763 --> 00:16:16.065
  • They want to be in this circle of your love.
  • 00:16:16.131 --> 00:16:18.267
  • In this circle of your love. they want your arms
  • 00:16:18.333 --> 00:16:19.501
  • They want your arms around them.
  • 00:16:19.568 --> 00:16:20.736
  • Around them. they want you to hold them
  • 00:16:20.803 --> 00:16:21.837
  • They want you to hold them close enough to your heart
  • 00:16:21.904 --> 00:16:23.572
  • Close enough to your heart that they can feel your heart,
  • 00:16:23.639 --> 00:16:24.840
  • That they can feel your heart, know your heart,
  • 00:16:24.907 --> 00:16:25.941
  • Know your heart, and know your mind,
  • 00:16:26.008 --> 00:16:27.709
  • And know your mind, and desire to do your will.
  • 00:16:27.776 --> 00:16:30.312
  • And desire to do your will. they want your kingdom
  • 00:16:30.379 --> 00:16:31.480
  • They want your kingdom that has come
  • 00:16:31.547 --> 00:16:32.748
  • That has come to come in them in fullness.
  • 00:16:32.815 --> 00:16:34.883
  • To come in them in fullness. they want your will
  • 00:16:34.950 --> 00:16:35.918
  • They want your will to be done on your earth
  • 00:16:35.984 --> 00:16:37.853
  • To be done on your earth as it is in heaven.
  • 00:16:37.920 --> 00:16:39.154
  • As it is in heaven. that's what
  • 00:16:39.221 --> 00:16:40.289
  • That's what they're going to learn.
  • 00:16:40.355 --> 00:16:42.191
  • They're going to learn. please, lord, help them
  • 00:16:42.257 --> 00:16:43.325
  • Please, lord, help them say to you, father in heaven,
  • 00:16:43.392 --> 00:16:46.762
  • Say to you, father in heaven, be my father forever
  • 00:16:46.829 --> 00:16:48.764
  • Be my father forever and forever,
  • 00:16:48.831 --> 00:16:50.532
  • And forever, and let me help live
  • 00:16:50.599 --> 00:16:53.235
  • And let me help live to fulfill your dream.
  • 00:16:53.302 --> 00:16:56.305
  • To fulfill your dream. i want to be your child.
  • 00:16:56.371 --> 00:16:58.740
  • I want to be your child. i want you to be my father.
  • 00:16:58.807 --> 00:17:01.443
  • I want you to be my father. lord, let them know
  • 00:17:01.510 --> 00:17:02.778
  • Lord, let them know you will be, in jesus' name.
  • 00:17:02.845 --> 00:17:06.115
  • You will be, in jesus' name. you can help fulfill
  • 00:17:06.181 --> 00:17:09.518
  • You can help fulfill the perfect father's
  • 00:17:09.585 --> 00:17:10.853
  • The perfect father's perfect dream.
  • 00:17:10.919 --> 00:17:13.122
  • Perfect dream. not through perfection,
  • 00:17:13.188 --> 00:17:15.257
  • Not through perfection, but through lifting him up
  • 00:17:15.324 --> 00:17:17.059
  • But through lifting him up as lord of lords
  • 00:17:17.126 --> 00:17:18.193
  • Tim, thank you!
  • 00:17:19.761 --> 00:17:21.330
  • Tim, thank you! thank god for using you,
  • 00:17:21.396 --> 00:17:22.598
  • Tim, thank you! thank god for using you, buddy!
  • 00:17:22.664 --> 00:17:23.866
  • Thank god for using you, buddy! betty, thank you for
  • 00:17:23.932 --> 00:17:24.967
  • Buddy! betty, thank you for being such a blessing to me
  • 00:17:25.033 --> 00:17:26.201
  • Betty, thank you for being such a blessing to me and our family,
  • 00:17:26.268 --> 00:17:27.736
  • Being such a blessing to me and our family, all the people who have
  • 00:17:27.803 --> 00:17:29.171
  • And our family, all the people who have ever heard her when
  • 00:17:29.238 --> 00:17:30.706
  • All the people who have ever heard her when she didn't even think
  • 00:17:30.772 --> 00:17:31.907
  • Ever heard her when she didn't even think she could talk on television.
  • 00:17:31.974 --> 00:17:33.475
  • She didn't even think she could talk on television. here she is.
  • 00:17:33.542 --> 00:17:34.610
  • She could talk on television. here she is. she's so precious.
  • 00:17:34.676 --> 00:17:36.078
  • Here she is. she's so precious. well, you are too.
  • 00:17:36.145 --> 00:17:38.046
  • She's so precious. well, you are too. let him be the great father
  • 00:17:38.113 --> 00:17:40.415
  • Well, you are too. let him be the great father that he wants to be
  • 00:17:40.482 --> 00:17:41.617
  • Let him be the great father that he wants to be in your life,
  • 00:17:41.683 --> 00:17:43.218
  • That he wants to be in your life, and let's share
  • 00:17:43.285 --> 00:17:44.453
  • In your life, and let's share his kingdom message.
  • 00:17:44.520 --> 00:17:46.555
  • And let's share his kingdom message. right now, we're trying,
  • 00:17:46.622 --> 00:17:47.890
  • His kingdom message. right now, we're trying, with your help,
  • 00:17:47.956 --> 00:17:49.191
  • And it's the only way
  • 00:17:49.658 --> 00:17:50.893
  • We can do it, to feed
  • 00:17:50.959 --> 00:17:52.094
  • 350,000 starving children.
  • 00:17:52.161 --> 00:17:55.364
  • Betty: james, the thing
  • 00:17:55.430 --> 00:17:56.431
  • That blesses me so much
  • 00:17:56.498 --> 00:17:57.533
  • Is when i see the lines,
  • 00:17:57.599 --> 00:17:59.234
  • The children lining up
  • 00:17:59.301 --> 00:18:00.302
  • To get a bowl of porridge
  • 00:18:00.369 --> 00:18:01.904
  • Or whatever nutrition
  • 00:18:01.970 --> 00:18:03.071
  • That they need that
  • 00:18:03.138 --> 00:18:04.239
  • We've sent over there.
  • 00:18:04.306 --> 00:18:05.908
  • Maybe you've helped us.
  • 00:18:05.974 --> 00:18:07.242
  • You probably have.
  • 00:18:07.309 --> 00:18:08.410
  • Please don't stop!
  • 00:18:08.477 --> 00:18:09.678
  • These children need care.
  • 00:18:09.745 --> 00:18:11.513
  • The mothers have done
  • 00:18:11.580 --> 00:18:12.681
  • All they can do.
  • 00:18:12.748 --> 00:18:13.916
  • They have nothing
  • 00:18:13.982 --> 00:18:15.050
  • To offer them.
  • 00:18:15.117 --> 00:18:16.552
  • But hopefully, we do.
  • 00:18:16.618 --> 00:18:18.520
  • I hope you'll join with us,
  • 00:18:18.587 --> 00:18:20.289
  • And let's feed these
  • 00:18:20.355 --> 00:18:21.557
  • Precious little ones
  • 00:18:21.623 --> 00:18:22.624
  • That god has given
  • 00:18:22.691 --> 00:18:24.426
  • These mothers to care for.
  • 00:18:24.493 --> 00:18:26.795
  • James: would you right now go
  • 00:18:26.862 --> 00:18:28.030
  • And get your bank card
  • 00:18:28.096 --> 00:18:29.298
  • And use it like
  • 00:18:29.364 --> 00:18:30.365
  • A check, please?
  • 00:18:30.432 --> 00:18:31.433
  • If you write a check,
  • 00:18:31.500 --> 00:18:32.701
  • Make it to life but do it now!
  • 00:18:32.768 --> 00:18:33.902
  • Call us and tell us
  • 00:18:33.969 --> 00:18:34.970
  • You're mailing it.
  • 00:18:35.037 --> 00:18:36.004
  • Go online and make the best
  • 00:18:36.071 --> 00:18:37.272
  • Gift you possibly can.
  • 00:18:37.339 --> 00:18:38.473
  • $30, $50, or $100,
  • 00:18:38.540 --> 00:18:40.742
  • You feed three, five, or ten
  • 00:18:40.809 --> 00:18:42.477
  • Children for the next months.
  • 00:18:42.544 --> 00:18:44.846
  • Could you give $1,000
  • 00:18:44.913 --> 00:18:46.281
  • Or more and feed 100?
  • 00:18:46.348 --> 00:18:48.517
  • Father, please, please move
  • 00:18:48.584 --> 00:18:51.019
  • Those viewing with your love,
  • 00:18:51.086 --> 00:18:54.256
  • Your compassion,
  • 00:18:54.323 --> 00:18:55.958
  • And your help in jesus' name.
  • 00:18:56.024 --> 00:18:59.294
  • We are his hands
  • 00:18:59.361 --> 00:19:02.264
  • And his arms.
  • 00:19:02.331 --> 00:19:04.132
  • Would you reach out,
  • 00:19:04.199 --> 00:19:06.034
  • Put his arms around
  • 00:19:06.101 --> 00:19:07.336
  • Someone right now,
  • 00:19:07.402 --> 00:19:08.837
  • And give them life?
  • 00:19:08.904 --> 00:19:10.172
  • Please do it.
  • 00:19:10.239 --> 00:19:11.673
  • Right now, across the continent of africa,
  • 00:19:12.674 --> 00:19:15.377
  • Children are suffering, facing severe malnutrition,
  • 00:19:15.377 --> 00:19:18.380
  • And even death.
  • 00:19:18.380 --> 00:19:20.482
  • With food reserves gone,
  • 00:19:20.482 --> 00:19:22.517
  • And many areas experiencing severe famine,
  • 00:19:22.517 --> 00:19:24.553
  • We urgently need to replenish supplies
  • 00:19:24.553 --> 00:19:26.989
  • To keep feeding the 350,000 children
  • 00:19:26.989 --> 00:19:29.825
  • Who are counting on us.
  • 00:19:29.825 --> 00:19:31.860
  • Through life's mission feeding outreach,
  • 00:19:31.860 --> 00:19:33.895
  • Your gift of love can be an answer to prayer
  • 00:19:33.895 --> 00:19:36.531
  • For a hurting and hungry child in their time of need.
  • 00:19:36.531 --> 00:19:39.935
  • Call now with your life-saving gift
  • 00:19:39.935 --> 00:19:42.070
  • Of $30, $50, or $100
  • 00:19:42.070 --> 00:19:45.140
  • To help feed and care for three, five, or ten children
  • 00:19:45.140 --> 00:19:48.944
  • For three full months.
  • 00:19:48.944 --> 00:19:51.246
  • With your gift, we'll send you natural remedies.
  • 00:19:51.246 --> 00:19:54.049
  • This beautifully illustrated book
  • 00:19:54.049 --> 00:19:56.118
  • Explores ancient nutrition and the health benefits
  • 00:19:56.118 --> 00:19:58.220
  • Found in god's creation to help you live your best life.
  • 00:19:58.220 --> 00:20:02.324
  • With your gift of $100 or more,
  • 00:20:02.324 --> 00:20:04.693
  • Please request your "health and wellness bundle."
  • 00:20:04.693 --> 00:20:07.262
  • This three-book set includes natural remedies,
  • 00:20:07.262 --> 00:20:09.498
  • As well as essential fasting, a simple eating strategy
  • 00:20:09.498 --> 00:20:12.567
  • To accelerate weight loss, crush cravings,
  • 00:20:12.567 --> 00:20:14.970
  • And reverse aging.
  • 00:20:14.970 --> 00:20:17.039
  • And the probiotic diet that gives effective strategies
  • 00:20:17.039 --> 00:20:19.574
  • To improve digestion, boost brain health,
  • 00:20:19.574 --> 00:20:21.977
  • And supercharge your immune system.
  • 00:20:21.977 --> 00:20:24.613
  • Finally, please consider a gift of $1,000 or more,
  • 00:20:24.613 --> 00:20:27.883
  • Which will help feed 100 children,
  • 00:20:27.883 --> 00:20:29.985
  • And you may request our inspiring bronze sculpture,
  • 00:20:29.985 --> 00:20:32.387
  • "lion of judah."
  • 00:20:32.387 --> 00:20:35.457
  • Please call, write, or make your gift online today.
  • 00:20:35.457 --> 00:20:41.463
  • >> hi, i'm jordan rubin, and for over two decades,
  • 00:20:42.497 --> 00:20:45.067
  • My wife nicki and i have been supporting the ministries of life.
  • 00:20:45.067 --> 00:20:48.470
  • With any gift to mission feeding,
  • 00:20:48.470 --> 00:20:50.872
  • You will transform the lives of 350,000 children in africa
  • 00:20:50.872 --> 00:20:56.078
  • By giving them nutritious food and a hope for the future.
  • 00:20:56.078 --> 00:20:59.981
  • With your gift, you'll receive a powerful wellness bundle,
  • 00:20:59.981 --> 00:21:03.185
  • Which can bring the power of health and nutrition into your own home.
  • 00:21:03.185 --> 00:21:06.822
  • Transform the lives of thousands
  • 00:21:06.822 --> 00:21:09.358
  • And your own family. do it today.
  • 00:21:09.358 --> 00:21:13.261
  • James: you know, i feel like
  • 00:21:13.362 --> 00:21:14.796
  • James: you know, i feel like a lot of you are going
  • 00:21:14.863 --> 00:21:16.064
  • James: you know, i feel like a lot of you are going to help us feed
  • 00:21:16.131 --> 00:21:17.265
  • A lot of you are going to help us feed a lot of children. please!
  • 00:21:17.332 --> 00:21:19.101
  • To help us feed a lot of children. please! would you make
  • 00:21:19.167 --> 00:21:20.302
  • A lot of children. please! would you make the biggest possible gift
  • 00:21:20.369 --> 00:21:21.470
  • Would you make the biggest possible gift knowing you're going
  • 00:21:21.536 --> 00:21:22.571
  • The biggest possible gift knowing you're going to save lots of kids' lives?
  • 00:21:22.637 --> 00:21:24.806
  • Knowing you're going to save lots of kids' lives? be an answer to a lot
  • 00:21:24.873 --> 00:21:25.941
  • To save lots of kids' lives? be an answer to a lot of mothers' prayers
  • 00:21:26.007 --> 00:21:27.109
  • Be an answer to a lot of mothers' prayers and heal their broken hearts.
  • 00:21:27.175 --> 00:21:29.711
  • Of mothers' prayers and heal their broken hearts. i know you've enjoyed tim.
  • 00:21:29.778 --> 00:21:33.048
  • And heal their broken hearts. i know you've enjoyed tim. if they wanted to write you
  • 00:21:33.115 --> 00:21:34.549
  • I know you've enjoyed tim. if they wanted to write you or find out how they could
  • 00:21:34.616 --> 00:21:35.784
  • If they wanted to write you or find out how they could communicate, or maybe
  • 00:21:35.851 --> 00:21:36.918
  • Or find out how they could communicate, or maybe even get you to come
  • 00:21:36.985 --> 00:21:38.053
  • Communicate, or maybe even get you to come speak at some function,
  • 00:21:38.120 --> 00:21:39.588
  • Even get you to come speak at some function, where would they go online
  • 00:21:39.654 --> 00:21:40.722
  • To find you?
  • 00:21:40.822 --> 00:21:42.424
  • To find you? tim: orlandowoc.org.
  • 00:21:42.491 --> 00:21:47.529
  • To find you? tim: orlandowoc.org. james: that's a mouthful!
  • 00:21:47.596 --> 00:21:48.597
  • Tim: orlandowoc.org. james: that's a mouthful! so we're going to have it
  • 00:21:48.663 --> 00:21:49.698
  • James: that's a mouthful! so we're going to have it on the screen.
  • 00:21:49.765 --> 00:21:50.766
  • So we're going to have it on the screen. you can get it from
  • 00:21:50.832 --> 00:21:51.833
  • On the screen. you can get it from the prayer center.
  • 00:21:51.900 --> 00:21:52.901
  • You can get it from the prayer center. you can get it online.
  • 00:21:52.968 --> 00:21:54.269
  • But, if you will help us
  • 00:21:54.369 --> 00:21:56.438
  • But, if you will help us feed as many of those children
  • 00:21:56.505 --> 00:21:58.974
  • But, if you will help us feed as many of those children as you can, and we have
  • 00:21:59.040 --> 00:22:00.709
  • Feed as many of those children as you can, and we have the gifts from jordan rubin
  • 00:22:00.776 --> 00:22:02.677
  • As you can, and we have the gifts from jordan rubin that we've told you about,
  • 00:22:02.744 --> 00:22:04.045
  • The gifts from jordan rubin that we've told you about, but if you'd like
  • 00:22:04.112 --> 00:22:05.080
  • That we've told you about, but if you'd like to have this book
  • 00:22:05.147 --> 00:22:06.181
  • But if you'd like to have this book and you say, james,
  • 00:22:06.248 --> 00:22:07.983
  • To have this book and you say, james, i can identify.
  • 00:22:08.049 --> 00:22:09.951
  • And you say, james, i can identify. i sure would like to have it.
  • 00:22:10.018 --> 00:22:11.052
  • I can identify. i sure would like to have it. i've got some friends
  • 00:22:11.119 --> 00:22:12.087
  • I sure would like to have it. i've got some friends that need it.
  • 00:22:12.154 --> 00:22:13.188
  • I've got some friends that need it. well, just help us
  • 00:22:13.255 --> 00:22:14.423
  • That need it. well, just help us feed those kids, and
  • 00:22:14.489 --> 00:22:15.791
  • Well, just help us feed those kids, and if you ask for the book
  • 00:22:15.857 --> 00:22:16.825
  • Feed those kids, and if you ask for the book we'll send it to you.
  • 00:22:16.892 --> 00:22:18.193
  • If you ask for the book we'll send it to you. i love you, buddy.
  • 00:22:18.260 --> 00:22:19.261
  • We'll send it to you. i love you, buddy. tim: i love you more!
  • 00:22:19.327 --> 00:22:20.462
  • I love you, buddy. tim: i love you more! james: amen. thank you!
  • 00:22:20.529 --> 00:22:21.530
  • Tim: i love you more! james: amen. thank you! and we love you.
  • 00:22:21.596 --> 00:22:24.065
  • James: amen. thank you! and we love you. we want to thank you
  • 00:22:24.132 --> 00:22:25.167
  • And we love you. we want to thank you for helping us
  • 00:22:25.233 --> 00:22:26.501
  • We want to thank you for helping us show so many people
  • 00:22:26.568 --> 00:22:28.069
  • For helping us show so many people how much god loves them.
  • 00:22:28.136 --> 00:22:29.805
  • Show so many people how much god loves them. thank you.
  • 00:22:29.871 --> 00:22:31.573
  • How much god loves them. thank you. thank you.
  • 00:22:31.640 --> 00:22:33.975
  • >> everything is good.
  • 00:22:46.054 --> 00:22:47.789
  • >> everything is good. we just have to learn
  • 00:22:47.856 --> 00:22:49.024
  • We just have to learn how to define good
  • 00:22:49.090 --> 00:22:50.225
  • How to define good according to god.
  • 00:22:50.292 --> 00:22:51.393
  • According to god. because he's the one
  • 00:22:51.460 --> 00:22:52.594
  • For our good
  • 00:22:54.696 --> 00:22:56.064
  • For our good and for his glory
  • 00:22:56.131 --> 00:22:57.399
  • For our good and for his glory and that's what he's done
  • 00:22:57.466 --> 00:22:58.767
  • And for his glory and that's what he's done from the beginning of time.
  • 00:22:58.834 --> 00:23:00.469
  • And that's what he's done from the beginning of time. that's what he has done
  • 00:23:00.535 --> 00:23:01.736
  • From the beginning of time. that's what he has done in my life
  • 00:23:01.803 --> 00:23:02.938
  • That's what he has done in my life since i became blind.
  • 00:23:03.004 --> 00:23:04.105
  • In my life since i became blind. and even
  • 00:23:04.172 --> 00:23:05.106
  • Since i became blind. and even in the last few years,
  • 00:23:05.173 --> 00:23:06.141
  • And even in the last few years, when i fell
  • 00:23:06.208 --> 00:23:07.275
  • In the last few years, when i fell into this deep depression,
  • 00:23:07.342 --> 00:23:08.410
  • When i fell into this deep depression, and honestly,
  • 00:23:08.477 --> 00:23:09.511
  • Into this deep depression, and honestly, didn't think i could function.
  • 00:23:09.578 --> 00:23:10.612
  • And honestly, didn't think i could function. i remember when i finally
  • 00:23:10.679 --> 00:23:11.713
  • Didn't think i could function. i remember when i finally went to the doctor
  • 00:23:11.780 --> 00:23:12.814
  • I remember when i finally went to the doctor because everybody who loved me
  • 00:23:12.881 --> 00:23:13.949
  • Went to the doctor because everybody who loved me begged me to.
  • 00:23:14.015 --> 00:23:15.083
  • Because everybody who loved me begged me to. i was disoriented
  • 00:23:15.150 --> 00:23:16.184
  • Begged me to. i was disoriented all the time.
  • 00:23:16.251 --> 00:23:17.285
  • I was disoriented all the time. i couldn't think clearly.
  • 00:23:17.352 --> 00:23:18.386
  • All the time. i couldn't think clearly. i was weeping all the time.
  • 00:23:18.453 --> 00:23:19.588
  • I couldn't think clearly. i was weeping all the time. and even physically --
  • 00:23:19.654 --> 00:23:20.755
  • I was weeping all the time. and even physically -- i physically -- my body hurt.
  • 00:23:20.822 --> 00:23:22.891
  • And even physically -- i physically -- my body hurt. i was just in pain, you know.
  • 00:23:22.958 --> 00:23:24.326
  • I physically -- my body hurt. i was just in pain, you know. and i remember
  • 00:23:24.392 --> 00:23:25.560
  • I was just in pain, you know. and i remember going to the doctor,
  • 00:23:25.627 --> 00:23:27.896
  • And i remember going to the doctor, and i emptied my purse
  • 00:23:27.963 --> 00:23:29.464
  • Going to the doctor, and i emptied my purse onto her table.
  • 00:23:29.531 --> 00:23:30.732
  • And i emptied my purse onto her table. i had every supplement
  • 00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:32.033
  • Onto her table. i had every supplement known to man.
  • 00:23:32.100 --> 00:23:33.235
  • I had every supplement known to man. i had taken every herb,
  • 00:23:33.301 --> 00:23:34.569
  • Known to man. i had taken every herb, every vitamin.
  • 00:23:34.636 --> 00:23:35.904
  • I had taken every herb, every vitamin. she looked at it and said,
  • 00:23:35.971 --> 00:23:37.105
  • Every vitamin. she looked at it and said, "i do not know
  • 00:23:37.172 --> 00:23:38.139
  • She looked at it and said, "i do not know what to do with these."
  • 00:23:38.206 --> 00:23:39.307
  • "i do not know what to do with these." [laughing]
  • 00:23:39.374 --> 00:23:40.442
  • What to do with these." [laughing] i had such a cocktail
  • 00:23:40.509 --> 00:23:41.576
  • [laughing] i had such a cocktail concoction because why?
  • 00:23:41.643 --> 00:23:42.844
  • I had such a cocktail concoction because why? i was trying to fix myself.
  • 00:23:42.911 --> 00:23:46.081
  • Concoction because why? i was trying to fix myself. but what happened is
  • 00:23:46.147 --> 00:23:47.549
  • I was trying to fix myself. but what happened is my physical body
  • 00:23:47.616 --> 00:23:49.184
  • But what happened is my physical body became so dismantled
  • 00:23:49.251 --> 00:23:50.552
  • My physical body became so dismantled is it exposed some real
  • 00:23:50.619 --> 00:23:52.220
  • Became so dismantled is it exposed some real broken places in my faith.
  • 00:23:52.287 --> 00:23:54.723
  • Is it exposed some real broken places in my faith. and i remember
  • 00:23:54.789 --> 00:23:57.392
  • Broken places in my faith. and i remember trying everything
  • 00:23:57.459 --> 00:23:58.527
  • And i remember trying everything to make myself better,
  • 00:23:58.593 --> 00:24:00.395
  • Trying everything to make myself better, to feel better,
  • 00:24:00.462 --> 00:24:01.563
  • To make myself better, to feel better, and to say
  • 00:24:01.630 --> 00:24:02.831
  • To feel better, and to say all the right things
  • 00:24:02.898 --> 00:24:04.032
  • And to say all the right things and slap a happy christian
  • 00:24:04.099 --> 00:24:05.200
  • All the right things and slap a happy christian bumper sticker on my pain
  • 00:24:05.267 --> 00:24:06.468
  • And slap a happy christian bumper sticker on my pain so i could keep moving.
  • 00:24:06.535 --> 00:24:08.303
  • Bumper sticker on my pain so i could keep moving. i tried and it wasn't working
  • 00:24:08.370 --> 00:24:10.305
  • So i could keep moving. i tried and it wasn't working and i remember one day
  • 00:24:10.372 --> 00:24:11.740
  • I tried and it wasn't working and i remember one day just crying out to the lord.
  • 00:24:11.806 --> 00:24:14.276
  • And i remember one day just crying out to the lord. "don't you care?
  • 00:24:14.342 --> 00:24:15.410
  • Just crying out to the lord. "don't you care? i mean i know you --
  • 00:24:15.477 --> 00:24:16.611
  • "don't you care? i mean i know you -- maybe you only care
  • 00:24:16.678 --> 00:24:17.646
  • I mean i know you -- maybe you only care about big things
  • 00:24:17.712 --> 00:24:18.847
  • Maybe you only care about big things like hurricanes,
  • 00:24:18.914 --> 00:24:19.881
  • About big things like hurricanes, but do you care
  • 00:24:19.948 --> 00:24:20.982
  • Like hurricanes, but do you care about us little people
  • 00:24:21.049 --> 00:24:22.083
  • But do you care about us little people who just want to make it
  • 00:24:22.150 --> 00:24:23.318
  • About us little people who just want to make it through the day?"
  • 00:24:23.385 --> 00:24:24.619
  • Who just want to make it through the day?" and i think sometimes
  • 00:24:24.686 --> 00:24:26.187
  • Through the day?" and i think sometimes we ask god to care
  • 00:24:26.254 --> 00:24:27.722
  • And i think sometimes we ask god to care because sometimes --
  • 00:24:27.789 --> 00:24:29.925
  • We ask god to care because sometimes -- we feel like we're drowning.
  • 00:24:29.991 --> 00:24:31.526
  • Because sometimes -- we feel like we're drowning. and i know for me,
  • 00:24:31.593 --> 00:24:32.894
  • We feel like we're drowning. and i know for me, as i ask god, "do you care?"
  • 00:24:32.961 --> 00:24:34.129
  • And i know for me, as i ask god, "do you care?" i have this recognition
  • 00:24:34.195 --> 00:24:35.597
  • As i ask god, "do you care?" i have this recognition that he may not have
  • 00:24:35.664 --> 00:24:36.965
  • I have this recognition that he may not have answered that question
  • 00:24:37.032 --> 00:24:38.800
  • That he may not have answered that question with words
  • 00:24:38.867 --> 00:24:39.868
  • Answered that question with words that i could understand
  • 00:24:39.935 --> 00:24:41.202
  • With words that i could understand but he answered that question
  • 00:24:41.269 --> 00:24:42.504
  • That i could understand but he answered that question for me just like he did
  • 00:24:42.571 --> 00:24:43.805
  • But he answered that question for me just like he did for the disciples,
  • 00:24:43.872 --> 00:24:45.040
  • For me just like he did for the disciples, through his presence.
  • 00:24:45.106 --> 00:24:46.174
  • For the disciples, through his presence. he was in the boat.
  • 00:24:46.241 --> 00:24:47.342
  • Through his presence. he was in the boat. he is a god of compassion.
  • 00:24:47.409 --> 00:24:48.710
  • He was in the boat. he is a god of compassion. he doesn't stand on the shore
  • 00:24:48.777 --> 00:24:49.978
  • He is a god of compassion. he doesn't stand on the shore and wave to us and say,
  • 00:24:50.045 --> 00:24:51.079
  • He doesn't stand on the shore and wave to us and say, "hope you make it!"
  • 00:24:51.146 --> 00:24:52.347
  • And wave to us and say, "hope you make it!" he's in the boat with us.
  • 00:24:52.414 --> 00:24:54.215
  • "hope you make it!" he's in the boat with us. and sometimes
  • 00:24:54.282 --> 00:24:55.383
  • He's in the boat with us. and sometimes that very storm that we think
  • 00:24:55.450 --> 00:24:56.718
  • And sometimes that very storm that we think is going to take us under,
  • 00:24:56.785 --> 00:24:59.220
  • That very storm that we think is going to take us under, those deep waters
  • 00:24:59.287 --> 00:25:00.422
  • Is going to take us under, those deep waters that he's allowing us
  • 00:25:00.488 --> 00:25:01.590
  • Those deep waters that he's allowing us to go through,
  • 00:25:01.656 --> 00:25:02.824
  • That he's allowing us to go through, they're not to drown us!
  • 00:25:02.891 --> 00:25:04.492
  • To go through, they're not to drown us! often,
  • 00:25:04.559 --> 00:25:05.827
  • They're not to drown us! often, i believe god allows us to go
  • 00:25:05.894 --> 00:25:07.095
  • Often, i believe god allows us to go through those deep waters
  • 00:25:07.162 --> 00:25:08.296
  • I believe god allows us to go through those deep waters so he can cleanse us.
  • 00:25:08.363 --> 00:25:10.231
  • Through those deep waters so he can cleanse us. i went up to my piano
  • 00:25:10.298 --> 00:25:11.566
  • So he can cleanse us. i went up to my piano and i began to ask god
  • 00:25:11.633 --> 00:25:12.801
  • I went up to my piano and i began to ask god those questions.
  • 00:25:12.867 --> 00:25:14.069
  • And i began to ask god those questions. "god, do you not care?"
  • 00:25:14.135 --> 00:25:16.571
  • Those questions. "god, do you not care?" and it was if,
  • 00:25:16.638 --> 00:25:18.006
  • "god, do you not care?" and it was if, while i was playing the piano,
  • 00:25:18.073 --> 00:25:19.741
  • And it was if, while i was playing the piano, this image of a cross
  • 00:25:19.808 --> 00:25:22.077
  • While i was playing the piano, this image of a cross appeared in my mind's eye.
  • 00:25:22.143 --> 00:25:24.679
  • This image of a cross appeared in my mind's eye. and as i was asking
  • 00:25:24.746 --> 00:25:26.414
  • Appeared in my mind's eye. and as i was asking those questions,
  • 00:25:26.481 --> 00:25:27.849
  • And as i was asking those questions, "why cancer?"
  • 00:25:27.916 --> 00:25:29.317
  • Those questions, "why cancer?" "why stillborn babies?"
  • 00:25:29.384 --> 00:25:30.752
  • "why cancer?" "why stillborn babies?" "why blindness?"
  • 00:25:30.819 --> 00:25:32.988
  • "why stillborn babies?" "why blindness?" i looked at the cross
  • 00:25:33.054 --> 00:25:34.322
  • "why blindness?" i looked at the cross and i asked,
  • 00:25:34.389 --> 00:25:35.657
  • I looked at the cross and i asked, "why grace?"
  • 00:25:35.724 --> 00:25:37.092
  • And i asked, "why grace?" "why forgiveness?"
  • 00:25:37.158 --> 00:25:39.394
  • "why grace?" "why forgiveness?" "why peace?"
  • 00:25:39.461 --> 00:25:41.262
  • "why forgiveness?" "why peace?" we really don't deserve
  • 00:25:41.329 --> 00:25:42.564
  • "why peace?" we really don't deserve any of those things.
  • 00:25:42.631 --> 00:25:43.999
  • We really don't deserve any of those things. but god, in his mercy,
  • 00:25:44.065 --> 00:25:45.367
  • Any of those things. but god, in his mercy, has given us those things.
  • 00:25:45.433 --> 00:25:46.801
  • But god, in his mercy, has given us those things. and i believe
  • 00:25:46.868 --> 00:25:48.236
  • Has given us those things. and i believe that when we go to the cross
  • 00:25:48.303 --> 00:25:49.471
  • And i believe that when we go to the cross with our questions,
  • 00:25:49.537 --> 00:25:50.739
  • That when we go to the cross with our questions, and with our tears,
  • 00:25:50.805 --> 00:25:51.973
  • With our questions, and with our tears, we go to that one place
  • 00:25:52.040 --> 00:25:53.274
  • And with our tears, we go to that one place where the true mystery
  • 00:25:53.341 --> 00:25:54.743
  • We go to that one place where the true mystery of faith exists.
  • 00:25:54.809 --> 00:25:56.978
  • Where the true mystery of faith exists. why does god love us?
  • 00:25:57.045 --> 00:25:58.813
  • Of faith exists. why does god love us? why does he carry us?
  • 00:25:58.880 --> 00:26:00.148
  • Why does god love us? why does he carry us? why did he cry our tears?
  • 00:26:00.215 --> 00:26:01.483
  • Why does he carry us? why did he cry our tears? why did he bear our pain?
  • 00:26:01.549 --> 00:26:02.817
  • Why did he cry our tears? why did he bear our pain? because he does care.
  • 00:26:02.884 --> 00:26:04.285
  • ♪ in the mystery ♪
  • 00:26:05.286 --> 00:26:07.288
  • ♪ we trust and we adjust ♪
  • 00:26:07.288 --> 00:26:10.892
  • ♪ and we wonder why ♪
  • 00:26:10.892 --> 00:26:16.364
  • ♪ oh, take me to the cross ♪
  • 00:26:17.132 --> 00:26:21.703
  • ♪ and cry each of my tears ♪
  • 00:26:21.703 --> 00:26:24.973
  • ♪ i am in your tomb ♪
  • 00:26:24.973 --> 00:26:28.610
  • ♪ crucify my fears ♪
  • 00:26:28.610 --> 00:26:32.947
  • ♪ i'll praise you with my pain ♪
  • 00:26:32.947 --> 00:26:37.285
  • ♪ though the mystery remains ♪
  • 00:26:37.285 --> 00:26:40.488
  • ♪ that you are a god who cries ♪
  • 00:26:40.488 --> 00:26:45.994
  • ♪ you are a savior who died ♪
  • 00:26:45.994 --> 00:26:51.900
  • ♪ we can trust you with why ♪
  • 00:26:51.900 --> 00:27:00.809
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