A former NFL champion and author of “Fatherless No More” explains how God filled the emptiness left by the absence of an earthly father.
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Life Today with James Robison | Tim Johnson - The Hole In My Soul | June 2, 2025
- >> instead of praying, i ended up in the fetal position,
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- Bawling my eyes out, crying like a baby,
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- And out comes, "i've never had a father."
- 00:00:15.939 --> 00:00:19.476
- Former super bowl champion, tim johnson
- 00:00:19.476 --> 00:00:22.078
- Is fatherless no more.
- 00:00:22.078 --> 00:00:24.614
- >> now salvation meant more than just me being forgiven
- 00:00:24.614 --> 00:00:27.984
- For my sins and having eternal life.
- 00:00:27.984 --> 00:00:31.287
- There's no reason for heaven without the father.
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- Coming up on life today.
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- ♪
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- James: well, i just said --
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- James: well, i just said -- i'm james robison,
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- James: well, i just said -- i'm james robison, by the way.
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- I'm james robison, by the way. betty, we're cowboys fans.
- 00:00:57.881 --> 00:00:59.182
- By the way. betty, we're cowboys fans. i don't even need
- 00:00:59.249 --> 00:01:00.483
- Betty, we're cowboys fans. i don't even need to say why.
- 00:01:00.550 --> 00:01:01.718
- I don't even need to say why. well, one time we understood
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- To say why. well, one time we understood why we --
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- Dear god, why?
- 00:01:04.020 --> 00:01:05.021
- Dear god, why? we're patient and prayerful.
- 00:01:05.088 --> 00:01:06.589
- Dear god, why? we're patient and prayerful. but here i've got a guy
- 00:01:06.656 --> 00:01:08.224
- We're patient and prayerful. but here i've got a guy that went to penn state?
- 00:01:08.291 --> 00:01:09.993
- But here i've got a guy that went to penn state? tim: i did.
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- That went to penn state? tim: i did. james: and you won
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- Tim: i did. james: and you won the national championship.
- 00:01:12.662 --> 00:01:13.763
- James: and you won the national championship. and then you beat,
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- The national championship. and then you beat, you might say, the cowboys
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- And then you beat, you might say, the cowboys in the sense that they won
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- You might say, the cowboys in the sense that they won the super bowl playing for,
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- In the sense that they won the super bowl playing for, who were you playing for?
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- The super bowl playing for, who were you playing for? tim: washington.
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- Who were you playing for? tim: washington. james: were they
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- Tim: washington. james: were they the redskins then?
- 00:01:25.341 --> 00:01:26.309
- James: were they the redskins then? tim: back then, yes, sir.
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- The redskins then? tim: back then, yes, sir. james: and you come in here
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- Tim: back then, yes, sir. james: and you come in here and bring this book,
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- James: and you come in here and bring this book, fatherless no more .
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- And bring this book, fatherless no more . i want to ask you
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- Fatherless no more . i want to ask you about this picture because
- 00:01:32.315 --> 00:01:33.349
- I want to ask you about this picture because you told me your son
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- About this picture because you told me your son took this picture.
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- Tim: first of all, i just
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- Tim: first of all, i just need to honor you both
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- Need to honor you both for your legendary impact
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- For your legendary impact on the world, my life,
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- Or seen you.
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- Or seen you. so thank you for
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- Or seen you. so thank you for the privilege of being here.
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- So thank you for the privilege of being here. that picture,
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- The privilege of being here. that picture, believe it or not,
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- That picture, believe it or not, sometimes makes me emotional
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- Believe it or not, sometimes makes me emotional because my wife and i were
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- Sometimes makes me emotional because my wife and i were in tennessee dropping
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- Because my wife and i were in tennessee dropping our son off for
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- In tennessee dropping our son off for his freshman year
- 00:02:00.510 --> 00:02:01.511
- Our son off for his freshman year at lipscomb university.
- 00:02:01.578 --> 00:02:02.579
- His freshman year at lipscomb university. and because he was
- 00:02:02.645 --> 00:02:03.746
- At lipscomb university. and because he was into photography, we were
- 00:02:03.813 --> 00:02:04.914
- And because he was into photography, we were at lunch, and he would
- 00:02:04.981 --> 00:02:06.416
- Into photography, we were at lunch, and he would just take random,
- 00:02:06.482 --> 00:02:07.483
- At lunch, and he would just take random, really great pictures.
- 00:02:07.550 --> 00:02:08.551
- Just take random, really great pictures. he took a photo.
- 00:02:08.618 --> 00:02:11.054
- Really great pictures. he took a photo. weeks, it must have been weeks
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- He took a photo. weeks, it must have been weeks later, my wife showed me,
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- Weeks, it must have been weeks later, my wife showed me, "oh, sean took this picture
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- Later, my wife showed me, "oh, sean took this picture of you."
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- "oh, sean took this picture of you." i had no idea that he did.
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- Of you." i had no idea that he did. and so, when this idea
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- I had no idea that he did. and so, when this idea of writing a book came up
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- And so, when this idea of writing a book came up about six years ago,
- 00:02:21.231 --> 00:02:22.565
- Of writing a book came up about six years ago, almost seven years ago,
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- About six years ago, almost seven years ago, one impression hit me.
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- Almost seven years ago, one impression hit me. it was the father saying,
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- One impression hit me. it was the father saying, "that photo."
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- It was the father saying, "that photo." we had different renditions
- 00:02:29.038 --> 00:02:30.573
- "that photo." we had different renditions of that photo because
- 00:02:30.640 --> 00:02:32.542
- We had different renditions of that photo because my son took a picture of me,
- 00:02:32.609 --> 00:02:34.110
- Of that photo because my son took a picture of me, and i've never seen
- 00:02:34.177 --> 00:02:35.345
- My son took a picture of me, and i've never seen a picture of my father.
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- And i've never seen a picture of my father. james: well, i want
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- A picture of my father. james: well, i want to tell you, tim,
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- James: well, i want to tell you, tim, i just thank god for you.
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- To tell you, tim, i just thank god for you. i want you to tell us
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- I just thank god for you. i want you to tell us and our viewers
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- I want you to tell us and our viewers about your story.
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- And our viewers about your story. i hope you'll get this book
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- About your story. i hope you'll get this book because it's in the bookstores
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- But, we'd be happy to send it
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- But, we'd be happy to send it to you if you'll help us
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- To you if you'll help us feed some starving kids
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- Feed some starving kids because we want to say
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- Because we want to say a big thank you
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- A big thank you for saving their lives.
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- For saving their lives. tim, tell me a little bit
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- And how you ended up
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- And how you ended up where you are now
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- And how you ended up where you are now after winning a national
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- Where you are now after winning a national championship in football.
- 00:03:04.841 --> 00:03:07.010
- After winning a national championship in football. winning the super bowl
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- Championship in football. winning the super bowl is a pretty big deal
- 00:03:08.411 --> 00:03:09.412
- Winning the super bowl is a pretty big deal for an athlete,
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- Is a pretty big deal for an athlete, especially in football.
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- For an athlete, especially in football. your whole world changed.
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- Especially in football. your whole world changed. tell us about it.
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- Your whole world changed. tell us about it. tim: so much of the details
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- Tell us about it. tim: so much of the details of what i would share
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- Tim: so much of the details of what i would share are actually in the book,
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- Of what i would share are actually in the book, laid out pretty clearly.
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- Are actually in the book, laid out pretty clearly. but i remember when
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- Laid out pretty clearly. but i remember when i was in junior high,
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- But i remember when i was in junior high, and like most kids,
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- I was in junior high, and like most kids, i was trying to find my way
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- And like most kids, i was trying to find my way like everyone else.
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- I was trying to find my way like everyone else. but i remember in junior high,
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- Like everyone else. but i remember in junior high, i got in trouble being
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- But i remember in junior high, i got in trouble being associated with some kids
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- I got in trouble being associated with some kids who were really in trouble.
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- Associated with some kids who were really in trouble. you know how sometimes
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- Who were really in trouble. you know how sometimes you say, well, i wasn't
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- You know how sometimes you say, well, i wasn't in trouble.
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- You say, well, i wasn't in trouble. i didn't really do it.
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- In trouble. i didn't really do it. i actually did it.
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- I didn't really do it. i actually did it. i'm in the principal's office,
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- I actually did it. i'm in the principal's office, and i'm in this room,
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- I'm in the principal's office, and i'm in this room, with just white walls.
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- And i'm in this room, with just white walls. i realized i needed help.
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- With just white walls. i realized i needed help. i felt like i was in jail
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- I realized i needed help. i felt like i was in jail myself because
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- I felt like i was in jail myself because the principal's office was
- 00:03:51.954 --> 00:03:53.222
- Myself because the principal's office was a very fearful thing,
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- The principal's office was a very fearful thing, and i was a long way
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- A very fearful thing, and i was a long way away from home.
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- And i was a long way away from home. they bussed us 45 minutes
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- Away from home. they bussed us 45 minutes away for school
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- They bussed us 45 minutes away for school from our neighborhood.
- 00:03:59.762 --> 00:04:00.697
- Away for school from our neighborhood. so, i realized i couldn't
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- From our neighborhood. so, i realized i couldn't call my mom because
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- So, i realized i couldn't call my mom because she would work two
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- Call my mom because she would work two or three jobs a day.
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- She would work two or three jobs a day. i couldn't take her away.
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- Or three jobs a day. i couldn't take her away. i realized i had nobody
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- I couldn't take her away. i realized i had nobody to call.
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- I realized i had nobody to call. i had no father to call.
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- To call. i had no father to call. so, this is hindsight 20/20.
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- I had no father to call. so, this is hindsight 20/20. i do believe that
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- So, this is hindsight 20/20. i do believe that in my mind, i decided
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- I do believe that in my mind, i decided to never need him,
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- In my mind, i decided to never need him, to never need a father.
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- To never need him, to never need a father. why need what you don't have?
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- To never need a father. why need what you don't have? i began to move from there,
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- Why need what you don't have? i began to move from there, adjusting my life based on
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- I began to move from there, adjusting my life based on whatever i needed to do
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- Adjusting my life based on whatever i needed to do for the moment to get by.
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- Whatever i needed to do for the moment to get by. so, on my birth certificate --
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- For the moment to get by. so, on my birth certificate -- there's places on
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- So, on my birth certificate -- there's places on everyone's birth certificate
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- There's places on everyone's birth certificate for mom and dad.
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- Everyone's birth certificate for mom and dad. so my mom's place is filled in
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- For mom and dad. so my mom's place is filled in but in the father's space,
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- So my mom's place is filled in but in the father's space, it's empty.
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- But in the father's space, it's empty. so, i walked around
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- It's empty. so, i walked around with a hole in my soul
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- So, i walked around with a hole in my soul for many years, feeling like
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- I didn't know i was
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- I didn't know i was a person to be loved.
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- A person to be loved. so through the course
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- So through the course of time, just making it up
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- Of time, just making it up as i went, i had
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- With a gentleman that said,
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- With a gentleman that said, "you can be different."
- 00:05:02.959 --> 00:05:04.727
- With a gentleman that said, "you can be different." he said, "you can
- 00:05:04.794 --> 00:05:05.962
- "you can be different." he said, "you can be different."
- 00:05:06.028 --> 00:05:07.163
- He said, "you can be different." now mind you, i had
- 00:05:07.230 --> 00:05:08.297
- Be different." now mind you, i had just quit the junior high
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- And i was very average
- 00:05:10.600 --> 00:05:11.534
- And i was very average as an athlete.
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- As an athlete. but he said, "you can
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- But he said, "you can be different."
- 00:05:14.003 --> 00:05:15.004
- Be different." he told me about
- 00:05:15.071 --> 00:05:16.038
- He told me about determination, motivation,
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- Determination, motivation, discipline, and perseverance.
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- Discipline, and perseverance. so i just said, "well,
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- I'm going to start
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- I'm going to start applying myself."
- 00:05:21.511 --> 00:05:22.478
- I'm going to start applying myself." i started lifting weights.
- 00:05:22.545 --> 00:05:23.513
- Applying myself." i started lifting weights. i started being more focused
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- I started lifting weights. i started being more focused on just being an athlete
- 00:05:25.248 --> 00:05:27.150
- I started being more focused on just being an athlete after being a quitter
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- On just being an athlete after being a quitter and trying to see
- 00:05:28.718 --> 00:05:29.752
- After being a quitter and trying to see what this is all about.
- 00:05:29.819 --> 00:05:30.853
- And trying to see what this is all about. he said something that was
- 00:05:30.920 --> 00:05:31.954
- What this is all about. he said something that was critical, "there's someone
- 00:05:32.021 --> 00:05:33.556
- He said something that was critical, "there's someone around the corner that's
- 00:05:33.623 --> 00:05:34.791
- Critical, "there's someone around the corner that's always bigger and faster."
- 00:05:34.857 --> 00:05:36.592
- Around the corner that's always bigger and faster." so by the time
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- Always bigger and faster." so by the time i graduated high school,
- 00:05:37.894 --> 00:05:39.095
- So by the time i graduated high school, i was an all-american
- 00:05:39.162 --> 00:05:40.296
- I graduated high school, i was an all-american in high school,
- 00:05:40.363 --> 00:05:41.631
- I was an all-american in high school, and i was recruited by
- 00:05:41.697 --> 00:05:42.899
- In high school, and i was recruited by most colleges in the country.
- 00:05:42.965 --> 00:05:44.767
- And i was recruited by most colleges in the country. i had a free ticket
- 00:05:44.834 --> 00:05:47.203
- Most colleges in the country. i had a free ticket to go anywhere.
- 00:05:47.270 --> 00:05:48.604
- I had a free ticket to go anywhere. fast-forward to
- 00:05:48.671 --> 00:05:49.839
- To go anywhere. fast-forward to my second year in college,
- 00:05:49.906 --> 00:05:51.274
- Fast-forward to my second year in college, i had another conversation.
- 00:05:51.340 --> 00:05:53.042
- My second year in college, i had another conversation. this time it wasn't
- 00:05:53.109 --> 00:05:54.243
- I had another conversation. this time it wasn't about my athletics.
- 00:05:54.310 --> 00:05:55.545
- This time it wasn't about my athletics. it was about how
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- About my athletics. it was about how i could live differently.
- 00:05:57.079 --> 00:05:58.881
- It was about how i could live differently. and that scared me real bad
- 00:05:58.948 --> 00:06:00.783
- I could live differently. and that scared me real bad because i'd never known
- 00:06:00.850 --> 00:06:02.218
- And that scared me real bad because i'd never known how to tell the truth.
- 00:06:02.285 --> 00:06:03.886
- Because i'd never known how to tell the truth. i was a nice guy, prom king,
- 00:06:03.953 --> 00:06:05.888
- How to tell the truth. i was a nice guy, prom king, all-american in high school,
- 00:06:05.955 --> 00:06:07.156
- I was a nice guy, prom king, all-american in high school, and one of the captains
- 00:06:07.223 --> 00:06:08.324
- All-american in high school, and one of the captains of the football team.
- 00:06:08.391 --> 00:06:09.459
- And one of the captains of the football team. i had a lot favorably
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- Of the football team. i had a lot favorably going for me on the outside,
- 00:06:10.693 --> 00:06:12.562
- I had a lot favorably going for me on the outside, but i did not know
- 00:06:12.628 --> 00:06:14.564
- Going for me on the outside, but i did not know how to tell the truth,
- 00:06:14.630 --> 00:06:15.965
- But i did not know how to tell the truth, and it was evidenced by
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- How to tell the truth, and it was evidenced by my relationship with
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- And it was evidenced by my relationship with my future wife.
- 00:06:18.334 --> 00:06:19.936
- My relationship with my future wife. i hurt her so much.
- 00:06:20.002 --> 00:06:22.138
- My future wife. i hurt her so much. out of the pain of
- 00:06:22.205 --> 00:06:23.206
- I hurt her so much. out of the pain of my own fatherlessness,
- 00:06:23.272 --> 00:06:24.540
- Out of the pain of my own fatherlessness, i didn't know how
- 00:06:24.607 --> 00:06:25.641
- My own fatherlessness, i didn't know how to treat a young lady.
- 00:06:25.708 --> 00:06:26.976
- I didn't know how to treat a young lady. he said, "you can
- 00:06:27.043 --> 00:06:28.377
- To treat a young lady. he said, "you can live differently."
- 00:06:28.444 --> 00:06:29.912
- He said, "you can live differently." and he preached the gospel.
- 00:06:29.979 --> 00:06:31.714
- Live differently." and he preached the gospel. after overcoming fear,
- 00:06:31.781 --> 00:06:32.915
- And he preached the gospel. after overcoming fear, i realized i didn't have
- 00:06:32.982 --> 00:06:33.983
- After overcoming fear, i realized i didn't have to change my life, but
- 00:06:34.050 --> 00:06:35.818
- I realized i didn't have to change my life, but i had to humble myself
- 00:06:35.885 --> 00:06:37.420
- To change my life, but i had to humble myself to trust that jesus would.
- 00:06:37.487 --> 00:06:40.223
- I had to humble myself to trust that jesus would. and when i finally let go
- 00:06:40.289 --> 00:06:41.657
- To trust that jesus would. and when i finally let go of all the things that
- 00:06:41.724 --> 00:06:43.860
- And when i finally let go of all the things that were barriers and things
- 00:06:43.926 --> 00:06:45.461
- Of all the things that were barriers and things that i was gripping tight
- 00:06:45.528 --> 00:06:47.296
- Were barriers and things that i was gripping tight because i thought
- 00:06:47.363 --> 00:06:48.464
- That i was gripping tight because i thought this was my life,
- 00:06:48.531 --> 00:06:49.532
- Because i thought this was my life, i let it go.
- 00:06:49.599 --> 00:06:51.000
- This was my life, i let it go. he gave me a new life
- 00:06:51.067 --> 00:06:52.502
- I let it go. he gave me a new life and forgave me of all my sins.
- 00:06:52.568 --> 00:06:54.370
- He gave me a new life and forgave me of all my sins. i'm married today
- 00:06:54.437 --> 00:06:55.638
- And forgave me of all my sins. i'm married today to that woman that
- 00:06:55.705 --> 00:06:57.006
- I'm married today to that woman that i couldn't tell the truth to
- 00:06:57.073 --> 00:06:58.574
- To that woman that i couldn't tell the truth to because he restored
- 00:06:58.641 --> 00:07:00.343
- I couldn't tell the truth to because he restored everything that i had
- 00:07:00.409 --> 00:07:02.311
- Because he restored everything that i had given away and lost because
- 00:07:02.378 --> 00:07:04.680
- Everything that i had given away and lost because of the hole in my soul.
- 00:07:04.747 --> 00:07:06.215
- Given away and lost because of the hole in my soul. he filled it with the love
- 00:07:06.282 --> 00:07:07.550
- Of the hole in my soul. he filled it with the love of the father.
- 00:07:07.617 --> 00:07:08.851
- He filled it with the love of the father. james: did you find
- 00:07:08.918 --> 00:07:10.219
- Of the father. james: did you find in some way the reality
- 00:07:10.286 --> 00:07:12.922
- James: did you find in some way the reality of a real father?
- 00:07:12.989 --> 00:07:14.690
- In some way the reality of a real father? tim: yes.
- 00:07:14.757 --> 00:07:16.859
- Of a real father? tim: yes. you know mine was a pretty
- 00:07:16.926 --> 00:07:17.960
- Tim: yes. you know mine was a pretty dramatic experience,
- 00:07:18.027 --> 00:07:19.362
- You know mine was a pretty dramatic experience, and i've talked to people
- 00:07:19.428 --> 00:07:20.496
- Dramatic experience, and i've talked to people and they've had these.
- 00:07:20.563 --> 00:07:22.331
- And i've talked to people and they've had these. when i was with
- 00:07:22.398 --> 00:07:23.466
- And they've had these. when i was with the pittsburgh steelers
- 00:07:23.533 --> 00:07:24.600
- When i was with the pittsburgh steelers that first year, we would
- 00:07:24.667 --> 00:07:25.701
- The pittsburgh steelers that first year, we would drive back and forth 3.5 hours
- 00:07:25.768 --> 00:07:27.136
- That first year, we would drive back and forth 3.5 hours one way to church,
- 00:07:27.203 --> 00:07:28.271
- Drive back and forth 3.5 hours one way to church, my wife and i.
- 00:07:28.337 --> 00:07:29.572
- One way to church, my wife and i. so weekend after weekend,
- 00:07:29.639 --> 00:07:31.374
- My wife and i. so weekend after weekend, i would work out,
- 00:07:31.440 --> 00:07:32.441
- So weekend after weekend, i would work out, train during the week,
- 00:07:32.508 --> 00:07:33.476
- I would work out, train during the week, get in the car, and we'd go
- 00:07:33.543 --> 00:07:34.544
- Train during the week, get in the car, and we'd go to state college.
- 00:07:34.610 --> 00:07:36.078
- Get in the car, and we'd go to state college. every saturday, we would
- 00:07:36.145 --> 00:07:37.246
- To state college. every saturday, we would have the pastor teaching us
- 00:07:37.313 --> 00:07:38.915
- Every saturday, we would have the pastor teaching us young leaders.
- 00:07:38.981 --> 00:07:40.516
- Have the pastor teaching us young leaders. it was just a routine.
- 00:07:40.583 --> 00:07:41.784
- Young leaders. it was just a routine. we were so thrilled that
- 00:07:41.851 --> 00:07:43.219
- It was just a routine. we were so thrilled that we got to drive 3.5 hours.
- 00:07:43.286 --> 00:07:44.487
- We were so thrilled that we got to drive 3.5 hours. we didn't know you were
- 00:07:44.554 --> 00:07:45.721
- We got to drive 3.5 hours. we didn't know you were supposed to complain.
- 00:07:45.788 --> 00:07:47.590
- We didn't know you were supposed to complain. and so, one saturday
- 00:07:47.657 --> 00:07:49.692
- Supposed to complain. and so, one saturday we do the same routine.
- 00:07:49.759 --> 00:07:51.594
- And so, one saturday we do the same routine. we get in a circle
- 00:07:51.661 --> 00:07:53.062
- We do the same routine. we get in a circle and this time
- 00:07:53.129 --> 00:07:54.964
- We get in a circle and this time something happens
- 00:07:55.031 --> 00:07:56.065
- And this time something happens that's unexplainable.
- 00:07:56.132 --> 00:07:57.500
- Something happens that's unexplainable. instead of praying,
- 00:07:57.567 --> 00:07:58.568
- That's unexplainable. instead of praying, i ended up
- 00:07:58.634 --> 00:07:59.702
- Instead of praying, i ended up in the fetal position,
- 00:07:59.769 --> 00:08:01.504
- I ended up in the fetal position, bawling my eyes out,
- 00:08:01.571 --> 00:08:03.706
- In the fetal position, bawling my eyes out, crying like a baby.
- 00:08:03.773 --> 00:08:06.576
- Bawling my eyes out, crying like a baby. i feel myself in the room
- 00:08:06.642 --> 00:08:08.210
- Crying like a baby. i feel myself in the room and i'm wondering --
- 00:08:08.277 --> 00:08:10.880
- I feel myself in the room and i'm wondering -- i'm sure you've had
- 00:08:10.947 --> 00:08:12.081
- And i'm wondering -- i'm sure you've had the situation where
- 00:08:12.148 --> 00:08:13.082
- I'm sure you've had the situation where you're kind of wondering,
- 00:08:13.149 --> 00:08:14.350
- The situation where you're kind of wondering, why am i here?
- 00:08:14.417 --> 00:08:15.518
- You're kind of wondering, why am i here? like, what's going on?
- 00:08:15.585 --> 00:08:16.552
- Why am i here? like, what's going on? you're talking to yourself.
- 00:08:16.619 --> 00:08:17.687
- Like, what's going on? you're talking to yourself. i was thinking,
- 00:08:17.753 --> 00:08:18.721
- You're talking to yourself. i was thinking, why are you down here?
- 00:08:18.788 --> 00:08:19.822
- I was thinking, why are you down here? why are you crying?
- 00:08:19.889 --> 00:08:21.023
- Why are you down here? why are you crying? i'm a pro football player.
- 00:08:21.090 --> 00:08:22.091
- Why are you crying? i'm a pro football player. i got a wife.
- 00:08:22.158 --> 00:08:23.259
- I'm a pro football player. i got a wife. i got a kid.
- 00:08:23.326 --> 00:08:24.327
- I got a wife. i got a kid. i actually have a car now.
- 00:08:24.393 --> 00:08:25.361
- I got a kid. i actually have a car now. my bills are paid.
- 00:08:25.428 --> 00:08:26.462
- I actually have a car now. my bills are paid. there was no reason.
- 00:08:26.529 --> 00:08:27.697
- My bills are paid. there was no reason. i'm on the ground
- 00:08:27.763 --> 00:08:28.764
- There was no reason. i'm on the ground and the pastor hesitated.
- 00:08:28.831 --> 00:08:29.832
- I'm on the ground and the pastor hesitated. i feel the room, but
- 00:08:29.899 --> 00:08:30.967
- And the pastor hesitated. i feel the room, but i don't see it because
- 00:08:31.033 --> 00:08:32.101
- I feel the room, but i don't see it because i'm bawling.
- 00:08:32.168 --> 00:08:33.169
- I don't see it because i'm bawling. he comes over and says,
- 00:08:33.235 --> 00:08:34.704
- I'm bawling. he comes over and says, "everything okay?"
- 00:08:34.770 --> 00:08:37.173
- He comes over and says, "everything okay?" and out comes,
- 00:08:37.239 --> 00:08:38.507
- "everything okay?" and out comes, "i've never had a father.
- 00:08:38.574 --> 00:08:40.943
- And out comes, "i've never had a father. i never had a father.
- 00:08:41.010 --> 00:08:42.945
- "i've never had a father. i never had a father. i never had a father."
- 00:08:43.012 --> 00:08:44.447
- I never had a father. i never had a father." i didn't even know
- 00:08:44.513 --> 00:08:45.548
- I never had a father." i didn't even know that was in there.
- 00:08:45.615 --> 00:08:47.016
- I didn't even know that was in there. i had no clue
- 00:08:47.083 --> 00:08:48.985
- That was in there. i had no clue that was in there.
- 00:08:49.051 --> 00:08:50.653
- I had no clue that was in there. that little boy
- 00:08:50.720 --> 00:08:53.022
- That was in there. that little boy is the one jesus found
- 00:08:53.089 --> 00:08:55.458
- That little boy is the one jesus found that he says,
- 00:08:55.524 --> 00:08:56.926
- To leave you alone.
- 00:08:58.561 --> 00:09:01.998
- To leave you alone. i will not leave you
- 00:09:02.064 --> 00:09:03.299
- I will not leave you as orphans.
- 00:09:03.366 --> 00:09:04.800
- As orphans. i am going to introduce you,"
- 00:09:04.867 --> 00:09:07.370
- I am going to introduce you," because the pastor said this.
- 00:09:07.436 --> 00:09:09.438
- He's going to father you."
- 00:09:11.507 --> 00:09:13.776
- He's going to father you." and now, salvation meant
- 00:09:13.843 --> 00:09:15.645
- He's going to father you." and now, salvation meant more than just me
- 00:09:15.711 --> 00:09:16.912
- And now, salvation meant more than just me being forgiven for my sins
- 00:09:16.979 --> 00:09:18.347
- More than just me being forgiven for my sins and having eternal life.
- 00:09:18.414 --> 00:09:20.516
- Being forgiven for my sins and having eternal life. it's there's no reason
- 00:09:20.583 --> 00:09:21.851
- And having eternal life. it's there's no reason for heaven without the father.
- 00:09:21.917 --> 00:09:23.719
- It's there's no reason for heaven without the father. so it was that moment
- 00:09:23.786 --> 00:09:25.755
- For heaven without the father. so it was that moment that began to shift
- 00:09:25.821 --> 00:09:27.256
- So it was that moment that began to shift my whole life to realizing
- 00:09:27.323 --> 00:09:30.359
- That began to shift my whole life to realizing that my birth certificate
- 00:09:30.426 --> 00:09:32.161
- My whole life to realizing that my birth certificate now has a name on it
- 00:09:32.228 --> 00:09:33.596
- That my birth certificate now has a name on it that no one can see but me.
- 00:09:33.663 --> 00:09:35.064
- Now has a name on it that no one can see but me. it's "heavenly father"
- 00:09:35.131 --> 00:09:36.565
- That no one can see but me. it's "heavenly father" written in red because
- 00:09:36.632 --> 00:09:37.667
- It's "heavenly father" written in red because it cost the blood of his son
- 00:09:37.733 --> 00:09:39.869
- Written in red because it cost the blood of his son to break the curse
- 00:09:39.935 --> 00:09:41.170
- It cost the blood of his son to break the curse of fatherlessness
- 00:09:41.237 --> 00:09:42.405
- James: you know as you were
- 00:09:43.839 --> 00:09:45.107
- James: you know as you were telling that i was flashing
- 00:09:45.174 --> 00:09:46.409
- Telling that i was flashing through all the years of
- 00:09:46.475 --> 00:09:48.377
- Through all the years of -- i don't know because
- 00:09:48.444 --> 00:09:50.413
- -- i don't know because i never did have a father.
- 00:09:50.479 --> 00:09:52.648
- Kind of fill in but
- 00:09:54.116 --> 00:09:58.054
- Kind of fill in but i remember he became
- 00:09:58.120 --> 00:09:59.588
- Kind of fill in but i remember he became my father.
- 00:09:59.655 --> 00:10:01.891
- I remember he became my father. he became the father
- 00:10:01.957 --> 00:10:03.259
- My father. he became the father of the fatherless kid.
- 00:10:03.325 --> 00:10:05.594
- He became the father of the fatherless kid. you've been so incredible!
- 00:10:05.661 --> 00:10:07.863
- Of the fatherless kid. you've been so incredible! he's always listening.
- 00:10:07.930 --> 00:10:09.031
- You've been so incredible! he's always listening. he's always ready to speak.
- 00:10:09.098 --> 00:10:11.167
- He's always listening. he's always ready to speak. i want to thank you
- 00:10:11.233 --> 00:10:12.368
- He's always ready to speak. i want to thank you because you do talk to me
- 00:10:12.435 --> 00:10:13.536
- I want to thank you because you do talk to me so much, so clearly.
- 00:10:13.602 --> 00:10:15.371
- Because you do talk to me so much, so clearly. and you're so patient,
- 00:10:15.438 --> 00:10:16.572
- So much, so clearly. and you're so patient, you're so loving.
- 00:10:16.639 --> 00:10:18.107
- And you're so patient, you're so loving. you're so inspirational,
- 00:10:18.174 --> 00:10:19.508
- You're so loving. you're so inspirational, you're so powerful!
- 00:10:19.575 --> 00:10:21.010
- You're so inspirational, you're so powerful! i think the exciting thing
- 00:10:21.077 --> 00:10:22.311
- You're so powerful! i think the exciting thing right now for me
- 00:10:22.378 --> 00:10:23.512
- I think the exciting thing right now for me to be able to say, tim
- 00:10:23.579 --> 00:10:24.613
- Right now for me to be able to say, tim is that i have lost my life
- 00:10:24.680 --> 00:10:26.482
- To be able to say, tim is that i have lost my life in his dream and he knows it.
- 00:10:26.549 --> 00:10:29.719
- Is that i have lost my life in his dream and he knows it. i'm talking to him
- 00:10:29.785 --> 00:10:31.754
- In his dream and he knows it. i'm talking to him about fulfilling his dream.
- 00:10:31.821 --> 00:10:34.090
- I'm talking to him about fulfilling his dream. that's what i want.
- 00:10:34.156 --> 00:10:35.224
- About fulfilling his dream. that's what i want. i said i want to fulfill
- 00:10:35.291 --> 00:10:36.325
- That's what i want. i said i want to fulfill your vision and your dream.
- 00:10:36.392 --> 00:10:37.626
- I said i want to fulfill your vision and your dream. but i'm telling him
- 00:10:37.693 --> 00:10:39.195
- Your vision and your dream. but i'm telling him he's so real
- 00:10:39.261 --> 00:10:41.263
- But i'm telling him he's so real and he is to you.
- 00:10:41.330 --> 00:10:42.798
- He's so real and he is to you. and now i feel like
- 00:10:42.865 --> 00:10:43.933
- And he is to you. and now i feel like with what you're doing,
- 00:10:43.999 --> 00:10:46.001
- And now i feel like with what you're doing, you're seeing others come
- 00:10:46.068 --> 00:10:48.137
- With what you're doing, you're seeing others come to know that father.
- 00:10:48.204 --> 00:10:49.839
- You're seeing others come to know that father. no matter what kind
- 00:10:49.905 --> 00:10:51.040
- To know that father. no matter what kind of father they've got,
- 00:10:51.107 --> 00:10:52.341
- No matter what kind of father they've got, they've come to know
- 00:10:52.408 --> 00:10:53.576
- Of father they've got, they've come to know the father everyone can have,
- 00:10:53.642 --> 00:10:55.244
- They've come to know the father everyone can have, who is the ultimate father.
- 00:10:55.311 --> 00:10:56.645
- The father everyone can have, who is the ultimate father. tim: yes.
- 00:10:56.712 --> 00:10:58.681
- Who is the ultimate father. tim: yes. my heart is compelled
- 00:10:58.748 --> 00:11:00.716
- Tim: yes. my heart is compelled when you say
- 00:11:00.783 --> 00:11:02.284
- My heart is compelled when you say "the father's dream."
- 00:11:02.351 --> 00:11:04.220
- When you say "the father's dream." in march of 2022, i was
- 00:11:04.286 --> 00:11:05.821
- "the father's dream." in march of 2022, i was in nashville, oddly enough,
- 00:11:05.888 --> 00:11:09.258
- In march of 2022, i was in nashville, oddly enough, and i prayed a prayer.
- 00:11:09.325 --> 00:11:11.594
- In nashville, oddly enough, and i prayed a prayer. not what i want.
- 00:11:11.660 --> 00:11:13.162
- And i prayed a prayer. not what i want. i prayed, "father, show me
- 00:11:13.229 --> 00:11:15.264
- Not what i want. i prayed, "father, show me the secrets of your heart.
- 00:11:15.331 --> 00:11:17.333
- I prayed, "father, show me the secrets of your heart. because i realized
- 00:11:17.399 --> 00:11:18.534
- The secrets of your heart. because i realized i don't have much
- 00:11:18.601 --> 00:11:19.869
- Because i realized i don't have much past encouragement
- 00:11:19.935 --> 00:11:20.970
- I don't have much past encouragement to give people to change
- 00:11:21.036 --> 00:11:22.805
- Past encouragement to give people to change the human condition.
- 00:11:22.872 --> 00:11:24.540
- To give people to change the human condition. but one little word
- 00:11:24.607 --> 00:11:25.741
- The human condition. but one little word from your heart
- 00:11:25.808 --> 00:11:27.343
- But one little word from your heart can change any heart."
- 00:11:27.409 --> 00:11:29.845
- From your heart can change any heart." do you know what he said?
- 00:11:29.912 --> 00:11:31.447
- Can change any heart." do you know what he said? two words: "rikers island."
- 00:11:31.514 --> 00:11:33.983
- Do you know what he said? two words: "rikers island." he spoke to me.
- 00:11:34.049 --> 00:11:35.217
- Two words: "rikers island." he spoke to me. i don't always hear
- 00:11:35.284 --> 00:11:36.585
- He spoke to me. i don't always hear what he has to say.
- 00:11:36.652 --> 00:11:37.820
- I don't always hear what he has to say. he says, "rikers island."
- 00:11:37.887 --> 00:11:39.155
- What he has to say. he says, "rikers island." i knew what it was.
- 00:11:39.221 --> 00:11:41.323
- He says, "rikers island." i knew what it was. i was aware of it.
- 00:11:41.390 --> 00:11:42.658
- I knew what it was. i was aware of it. but i googled
- 00:11:42.725 --> 00:11:43.826
- I was aware of it. but i googled "rikers island" because
- 00:11:43.893 --> 00:11:44.894
- But i googled "rikers island" because i thought it was close.
- 00:11:44.960 --> 00:11:46.262
- "rikers island" because i thought it was close. it's one of the most
- 00:11:46.328 --> 00:11:47.897
- I thought it was close. it's one of the most notorious jails
- 00:11:47.963 --> 00:11:48.964
- It's one of the most notorious jails in the world.
- 00:11:49.031 --> 00:11:51.133
- Notorious jails in the world. it's an island of
- 00:11:51.200 --> 00:11:52.268
- In the world. it's an island of just jails on the hills
- 00:11:52.334 --> 00:11:53.836
- It's an island of just jails on the hills of queens in new york city.
- 00:11:53.903 --> 00:11:56.872
- Just jails on the hills of queens in new york city. it is where the worst
- 00:11:56.939 --> 00:11:59.742
- Of queens in new york city. it is where the worst of the worst go.
- 00:11:59.809 --> 00:12:02.044
- It is where the worst of the worst go. it's a very violent place.
- 00:12:02.111 --> 00:12:03.479
- Of the worst go. it's a very violent place. they call it hell on earth,
- 00:12:03.546 --> 00:12:04.747
- It's a very violent place. they call it hell on earth, basically.
- 00:12:04.814 --> 00:12:05.881
- They call it hell on earth, basically. so i'm wondering,
- 00:12:05.948 --> 00:12:07.016
- Basically. so i'm wondering, what does this have
- 00:12:07.082 --> 00:12:08.083
- So i'm wondering, what does this have to do with me?
- 00:12:08.150 --> 00:12:09.151
- What does this have to do with me? mind you, i ask,
- 00:12:09.218 --> 00:12:10.252
- To do with me? mind you, i ask, what's on your heart?
- 00:12:10.319 --> 00:12:11.821
- Mind you, i ask, what's on your heart? i have a paragraph
- 00:12:11.887 --> 00:12:13.622
- What's on your heart? i have a paragraph still in my notes
- 00:12:13.689 --> 00:12:15.357
- I have a paragraph still in my notes where he showed me
- 00:12:15.424 --> 00:12:17.359
- Still in my notes where he showed me what he wanted to do.
- 00:12:17.426 --> 00:12:20.729
- Where he showed me what he wanted to do. he says the theme of
- 00:12:20.796 --> 00:12:22.298
- What he wanted to do. he says the theme of what he wanted to do was
- 00:12:22.364 --> 00:12:23.866
- He says the theme of what he wanted to do was i'm going to move in
- 00:12:23.933 --> 00:12:25.901
- What he wanted to do was i'm going to move in that dark place in the lives
- 00:12:25.968 --> 00:12:28.204
- I'm going to move in that dark place in the lives of those no one
- 00:12:28.270 --> 00:12:29.839
- That dark place in the lives of those no one has answers for.
- 00:12:29.905 --> 00:12:32.508
- Of those no one has answers for. i'm shook.
- 00:12:32.575 --> 00:12:34.343
- Has answers for. i'm shook. i end up on my bed
- 00:12:34.410 --> 00:12:35.644
- I'm shook. i end up on my bed in the fetal position,
- 00:12:35.711 --> 00:12:37.146
- I end up on my bed in the fetal position, getting like,
- 00:12:37.213 --> 00:12:38.314
- In the fetal position, getting like, what are you doing?
- 00:12:38.380 --> 00:12:39.582
- Getting like, what are you doing? i don't understand this.
- 00:12:39.648 --> 00:12:41.317
- In june of 2022,
- 00:12:43.052 --> 00:12:46.088
- In june of 2022, i landed on rikers island
- 00:12:46.155 --> 00:12:48.224
- I landed on rikers island and the miracles,
- 00:12:48.290 --> 00:12:49.458
- And the miracles, we don't even have time
- 00:12:49.525 --> 00:12:50.626
- We don't even have time to tell you how i got there.
- 00:12:50.693 --> 00:12:52.528
- From that time,
- 00:12:54.897 --> 00:12:56.699
- From that time, rikers island was
- 00:12:56.765 --> 00:12:58.167
- From that time, rikers island was at the height of violence.
- 00:12:58.234 --> 00:13:00.569
- Rikers island was at the height of violence. as we began the journey,
- 00:13:00.636 --> 00:13:02.004
- At the height of violence. as we began the journey, i lived on rikers island,
- 00:13:02.071 --> 00:13:03.639
- As we began the journey, i lived on rikers island, me and my former teammate,
- 00:13:03.706 --> 00:13:05.708
- I lived on rikers island, me and my former teammate, and lived in an rv.
- 00:13:05.774 --> 00:13:07.276
- Me and my former teammate, and lived in an rv. never been done before,
- 00:13:07.343 --> 00:13:08.644
- And lived in an rv. never been done before, on rikers island
- 00:13:08.711 --> 00:13:09.745
- Never been done before, on rikers island for five months,
- 00:13:09.812 --> 00:13:11.347
- On rikers island for five months, with an original group
- 00:13:11.413 --> 00:13:12.548
- For five months, with an original group of the who's who for crime
- 00:13:12.615 --> 00:13:13.949
- With an original group of the who's who for crime in new york city
- 00:13:14.016 --> 00:13:15.351
- Of the who's who for crime in new york city in the 18- to 21-year-old
- 00:13:15.417 --> 00:13:17.052
- In new york city in the 18- to 21-year-old population.
- 00:13:17.119 --> 00:13:18.921
- In the 18- to 21-year-old population. so the violence
- 00:13:18.988 --> 00:13:19.989
- Population. so the violence is at an all-time high.
- 00:13:20.055 --> 00:13:21.523
- So the violence is at an all-time high. this should have never
- 00:13:21.590 --> 00:13:22.625
- Is at an all-time high. this should have never happened to have
- 00:13:22.691 --> 00:13:23.759
- This should have never happened to have these individuals
- 00:13:23.826 --> 00:13:24.960
- Happened to have these individuals in the same room,
- 00:13:25.027 --> 00:13:26.729
- These individuals in the same room, and it not be a bloodbath.
- 00:13:26.795 --> 00:13:29.064
- In the same room, and it not be a bloodbath. i didn't have a weapon
- 00:13:29.131 --> 00:13:30.733
- And it not be a bloodbath. i didn't have a weapon except a word from the father
- 00:13:30.799 --> 00:13:33.435
- I didn't have a weapon except a word from the father that he was going to move.
- 00:13:33.502 --> 00:13:35.170
- Except a word from the father that he was going to move. and move he did!
- 00:13:35.237 --> 00:13:36.972
- That he was going to move. and move he did! because out of the 16,
- 00:13:37.039 --> 00:13:39.041
- And move he did! because out of the 16, a couple of them had to go on,
- 00:13:39.108 --> 00:13:41.143
- Because out of the 16, a couple of them had to go on, baptized 11
- 00:13:41.210 --> 00:13:42.311
- A couple of them had to go on, baptized 11 in the original group.
- 00:13:42.378 --> 00:13:43.846
- Baptized 11 in the original group. in june, it will be
- 00:13:43.913 --> 00:13:45.314
- In the original group. in june, it will be three years where we've had
- 00:13:45.381 --> 00:13:46.782
- In june, it will be three years where we've had over 100 guys
- 00:13:46.849 --> 00:13:48.117
- Three years where we've had over 100 guys and have baptized over 80.
- 00:13:48.183 --> 00:13:50.486
- Over 100 guys and have baptized over 80. james: isn't that great!
- 00:13:50.552 --> 00:13:51.854
- And have baptized over 80. james: isn't that great! tim: and the violence
- 00:13:51.921 --> 00:13:53.155
- James: isn't that great! tim: and the violence in the jail went down
- 00:13:53.222 --> 00:13:54.890
- Tim: and the violence in the jail went down that first year, along with
- 00:13:54.957 --> 00:13:56.458
- In the jail went down that first year, along with other things that they did.
- 00:13:56.525 --> 00:13:58.761
- Because he loves me so much,
- 00:14:03.532 --> 00:14:06.468
- Because he loves me so much, i want to learn to enjoy
- 00:14:06.535 --> 00:14:07.903
- I want to learn to enjoy his love and be an extension,
- 00:14:07.970 --> 00:14:11.507
- His love and be an extension, access point of his love
- 00:14:11.573 --> 00:14:13.676
- I pray, "let my life reveal
- 00:14:15.077 --> 00:14:16.979
- I pray, "let my life reveal the secrets of your heart,
- 00:14:17.046 --> 00:14:18.647
- I pray, "let my life reveal the secrets of your heart, whatever it may be."
- 00:14:18.714 --> 00:14:19.982
- James: that's what he's doing,
- 00:14:20.082 --> 00:14:21.684
- James: that's what he's doing, and that's what
- 00:14:21.750 --> 00:14:22.751
- James: that's what he's doing, and that's what your wife inspires.
- 00:14:22.818 --> 00:14:24.053
- And that's what your wife inspires. aren't they
- 00:14:24.119 --> 00:14:25.354
- Your wife inspires. aren't they a beautiful couple?
- 00:14:25.421 --> 00:14:26.355
- Aren't they a beautiful couple? betty: they really are!
- 00:14:26.422 --> 00:14:27.556
- As i listened to
- 00:14:27.656 --> 00:14:28.691
- As i listened to your testimony of how
- 00:14:28.757 --> 00:14:30.025
- As i listened to your testimony of how god has worked in your life,
- 00:14:30.092 --> 00:14:31.794
- Your testimony of how god has worked in your life, the deliverance
- 00:14:31.860 --> 00:14:33.028
- God has worked in your life, the deliverance he brought you,
- 00:14:33.095 --> 00:14:34.196
- The deliverance he brought you, i was sitting here thinking
- 00:14:34.263 --> 00:14:35.464
- He brought you, i was sitting here thinking that not everyone will
- 00:14:35.531 --> 00:14:36.665
- I was sitting here thinking that not everyone will experience the same kind
- 00:14:36.732 --> 00:14:37.900
- That not everyone will experience the same kind of deliverance.
- 00:14:37.967 --> 00:14:39.134
- Experience the same kind of deliverance. god knows our hearts
- 00:14:39.201 --> 00:14:40.502
- Of deliverance. god knows our hearts better than we do.
- 00:14:40.569 --> 00:14:41.770
- God knows our hearts better than we do. he knows what we need
- 00:14:41.837 --> 00:14:43.339
- Better than we do. he knows what we need for where we are.
- 00:14:43.405 --> 00:14:44.673
- He knows what we need for where we are. it may be a striking moment
- 00:14:44.740 --> 00:14:47.710
- For where we are. it may be a striking moment like you had on the floor
- 00:14:47.776 --> 00:14:49.778
- It may be a striking moment like you had on the floor before him.
- 00:14:49.845 --> 00:14:50.913
- Like you had on the floor before him. but it may be just
- 00:14:50.980 --> 00:14:52.314
- Before him. but it may be just in the quietness of home.
- 00:14:52.381 --> 00:14:54.917
- But it may be just in the quietness of home. many, many times,
- 00:14:54.984 --> 00:14:56.986
- In the quietness of home. many, many times, god in my quietness,
- 00:14:57.052 --> 00:14:59.388
- Many, many times, god in my quietness, when i take time to say,
- 00:14:59.455 --> 00:15:00.689
- God in my quietness, when i take time to say, "god, talk to me,"
- 00:15:00.756 --> 00:15:02.825
- When i take time to say, "god, talk to me," he brings such liberation
- 00:15:02.891 --> 00:15:05.361
- "god, talk to me," he brings such liberation and such compassion
- 00:15:05.427 --> 00:15:07.229
- He brings such liberation and such compassion and such love for him
- 00:15:07.296 --> 00:15:09.298
- And such compassion and such love for him and what he wants to do
- 00:15:09.365 --> 00:15:10.733
- And such love for him and what he wants to do through this one body,
- 00:15:10.799 --> 00:15:12.234
- And what he wants to do through this one body, this one person.
- 00:15:12.301 --> 00:15:13.936
- Through this one body, this one person. he wants to do so much
- 00:15:14.003 --> 00:15:15.204
- You just yield to him
- 00:15:16.939 --> 00:15:19.408
- You just yield to him and say, god, what
- 00:15:19.475 --> 00:15:20.709
- And say, god, what do you see that i don't see?
- 00:15:20.776 --> 00:15:24.980
- Do you see that i don't see? james: i want us to --
- 00:15:25.047 --> 00:15:26.048
- James: i want us to -- i want you to hold my hand,
- 00:15:26.115 --> 00:15:27.249
- I want you to hold my hand, betty.
- 00:15:27.316 --> 00:15:28.317
- Betty. i want you to reach over here;
- 00:15:28.384 --> 00:15:29.485
- I want you to reach over here; just lean toward me.
- 00:15:29.551 --> 00:15:30.552
- Just lean toward me. i want all of you to know
- 00:15:30.619 --> 00:15:31.754
- I want all of you to know that i want you
- 00:15:31.820 --> 00:15:32.821
- That i want you in this circle.
- 00:15:32.888 --> 00:15:33.889
- In this circle. i don't know what kind
- 00:15:33.956 --> 00:15:34.957
- I don't know what kind of relationship you had
- 00:15:35.024 --> 00:15:36.025
- Of relationship you had with your father,
- 00:15:36.091 --> 00:15:37.092
- With your father, if you ever knew one,
- 00:15:37.159 --> 00:15:38.160
- If you ever knew one, but you can know one.
- 00:15:38.227 --> 00:15:40.362
- But you can know one. he loves you so much.
- 00:15:40.429 --> 00:15:42.431
- He loves you so much. he wants you
- 00:15:42.498 --> 00:15:43.699
- He wants you in a circle of love.
- 00:15:43.766 --> 00:15:45.401
- In a circle of love. he wants you to help
- 00:15:45.467 --> 00:15:46.468
- He wants you to help get his arms around
- 00:15:46.535 --> 00:15:47.569
- Get his arms around a broken world,
- 00:15:47.636 --> 00:15:48.904
- A broken world, a dying world,
- 00:15:48.971 --> 00:15:50.072
- A dying world, a desperate world
- 00:15:50.139 --> 00:15:51.140
- A desperate world he gave his son to redeem.
- 00:15:51.206 --> 00:15:53.175
- He gave his son to redeem. he wants to heal
- 00:15:53.242 --> 00:15:54.309
- He wants to heal your broken heart.
- 00:15:54.376 --> 00:15:55.644
- Your broken heart. he wants to hold you.
- 00:15:55.711 --> 00:15:57.312
- He wants to hold you. he wants to flow life
- 00:15:57.379 --> 00:15:58.480
- He wants to flow life through you like a river.
- 00:15:58.547 --> 00:15:59.848
- Through you like a river. father, i feel like
- 00:15:59.915 --> 00:16:01.617
- Father, i feel like there are people trying to
- 00:16:01.683 --> 00:16:02.618
- There are people trying to press in around this table.
- 00:16:02.684 --> 00:16:04.319
- Press in around this table. maybe they're just
- 00:16:04.386 --> 00:16:05.487
- Maybe they're just sitting in a public place,
- 00:16:05.554 --> 00:16:06.588
- Sitting in a public place, but they happen to see a tv,
- 00:16:06.655 --> 00:16:08.424
- But they happen to see a tv, or they're at home.
- 00:16:08.490 --> 00:16:09.525
- Or they're at home. maybe they're still
- 00:16:09.591 --> 00:16:10.759
- Maybe they're still in their pajamas.
- 00:16:10.826 --> 00:16:12.394
- In their pajamas. there they are, but
- 00:16:12.461 --> 00:16:14.696
- There they are, but they want to be
- 00:16:14.763 --> 00:16:16.065
- They want to be in this circle of your love.
- 00:16:16.131 --> 00:16:18.267
- In this circle of your love. they want your arms
- 00:16:18.333 --> 00:16:19.501
- They want your arms around them.
- 00:16:19.568 --> 00:16:20.736
- Around them. they want you to hold them
- 00:16:20.803 --> 00:16:21.837
- They want you to hold them close enough to your heart
- 00:16:21.904 --> 00:16:23.572
- Close enough to your heart that they can feel your heart,
- 00:16:23.639 --> 00:16:24.840
- That they can feel your heart, know your heart,
- 00:16:24.907 --> 00:16:25.941
- Know your heart, and know your mind,
- 00:16:26.008 --> 00:16:27.709
- And know your mind, and desire to do your will.
- 00:16:27.776 --> 00:16:30.312
- And desire to do your will. they want your kingdom
- 00:16:30.379 --> 00:16:31.480
- They want your kingdom that has come
- 00:16:31.547 --> 00:16:32.748
- That has come to come in them in fullness.
- 00:16:32.815 --> 00:16:34.883
- To come in them in fullness. they want your will
- 00:16:34.950 --> 00:16:35.918
- They want your will to be done on your earth
- 00:16:35.984 --> 00:16:37.853
- To be done on your earth as it is in heaven.
- 00:16:37.920 --> 00:16:39.154
- As it is in heaven. that's what
- 00:16:39.221 --> 00:16:40.289
- That's what they're going to learn.
- 00:16:40.355 --> 00:16:42.191
- They're going to learn. please, lord, help them
- 00:16:42.257 --> 00:16:43.325
- Please, lord, help them say to you, father in heaven,
- 00:16:43.392 --> 00:16:46.762
- Say to you, father in heaven, be my father forever
- 00:16:46.829 --> 00:16:48.764
- Be my father forever and forever,
- 00:16:48.831 --> 00:16:50.532
- And forever, and let me help live
- 00:16:50.599 --> 00:16:53.235
- And let me help live to fulfill your dream.
- 00:16:53.302 --> 00:16:56.305
- To fulfill your dream. i want to be your child.
- 00:16:56.371 --> 00:16:58.740
- I want to be your child. i want you to be my father.
- 00:16:58.807 --> 00:17:01.443
- I want you to be my father. lord, let them know
- 00:17:01.510 --> 00:17:02.778
- Lord, let them know you will be, in jesus' name.
- 00:17:02.845 --> 00:17:06.115
- You will be, in jesus' name. you can help fulfill
- 00:17:06.181 --> 00:17:09.518
- You can help fulfill the perfect father's
- 00:17:09.585 --> 00:17:10.853
- The perfect father's perfect dream.
- 00:17:10.919 --> 00:17:13.122
- Perfect dream. not through perfection,
- 00:17:13.188 --> 00:17:15.257
- Not through perfection, but through lifting him up
- 00:17:15.324 --> 00:17:17.059
- But through lifting him up as lord of lords
- 00:17:17.126 --> 00:17:18.193
- Tim, thank you!
- 00:17:19.761 --> 00:17:21.330
- Tim, thank you! thank god for using you,
- 00:17:21.396 --> 00:17:22.598
- Tim, thank you! thank god for using you, buddy!
- 00:17:22.664 --> 00:17:23.866
- Thank god for using you, buddy! betty, thank you for
- 00:17:23.932 --> 00:17:24.967
- Buddy! betty, thank you for being such a blessing to me
- 00:17:25.033 --> 00:17:26.201
- Betty, thank you for being such a blessing to me and our family,
- 00:17:26.268 --> 00:17:27.736
- Being such a blessing to me and our family, all the people who have
- 00:17:27.803 --> 00:17:29.171
- And our family, all the people who have ever heard her when
- 00:17:29.238 --> 00:17:30.706
- All the people who have ever heard her when she didn't even think
- 00:17:30.772 --> 00:17:31.907
- Ever heard her when she didn't even think she could talk on television.
- 00:17:31.974 --> 00:17:33.475
- She didn't even think she could talk on television. here she is.
- 00:17:33.542 --> 00:17:34.610
- She could talk on television. here she is. she's so precious.
- 00:17:34.676 --> 00:17:36.078
- Here she is. she's so precious. well, you are too.
- 00:17:36.145 --> 00:17:38.046
- She's so precious. well, you are too. let him be the great father
- 00:17:38.113 --> 00:17:40.415
- Well, you are too. let him be the great father that he wants to be
- 00:17:40.482 --> 00:17:41.617
- Let him be the great father that he wants to be in your life,
- 00:17:41.683 --> 00:17:43.218
- That he wants to be in your life, and let's share
- 00:17:43.285 --> 00:17:44.453
- In your life, and let's share his kingdom message.
- 00:17:44.520 --> 00:17:46.555
- And let's share his kingdom message. right now, we're trying,
- 00:17:46.622 --> 00:17:47.890
- His kingdom message. right now, we're trying, with your help,
- 00:17:47.956 --> 00:17:49.191
- And it's the only way
- 00:17:49.658 --> 00:17:50.893
- We can do it, to feed
- 00:17:50.959 --> 00:17:52.094
- 350,000 starving children.
- 00:17:52.161 --> 00:17:55.364
- Betty: james, the thing
- 00:17:55.430 --> 00:17:56.431
- That blesses me so much
- 00:17:56.498 --> 00:17:57.533
- Is when i see the lines,
- 00:17:57.599 --> 00:17:59.234
- The children lining up
- 00:17:59.301 --> 00:18:00.302
- To get a bowl of porridge
- 00:18:00.369 --> 00:18:01.904
- Or whatever nutrition
- 00:18:01.970 --> 00:18:03.071
- That they need that
- 00:18:03.138 --> 00:18:04.239
- We've sent over there.
- 00:18:04.306 --> 00:18:05.908
- Maybe you've helped us.
- 00:18:05.974 --> 00:18:07.242
- You probably have.
- 00:18:07.309 --> 00:18:08.410
- Please don't stop!
- 00:18:08.477 --> 00:18:09.678
- These children need care.
- 00:18:09.745 --> 00:18:11.513
- The mothers have done
- 00:18:11.580 --> 00:18:12.681
- All they can do.
- 00:18:12.748 --> 00:18:13.916
- They have nothing
- 00:18:13.982 --> 00:18:15.050
- To offer them.
- 00:18:15.117 --> 00:18:16.552
- But hopefully, we do.
- 00:18:16.618 --> 00:18:18.520
- I hope you'll join with us,
- 00:18:18.587 --> 00:18:20.289
- And let's feed these
- 00:18:20.355 --> 00:18:21.557
- Precious little ones
- 00:18:21.623 --> 00:18:22.624
- That god has given
- 00:18:22.691 --> 00:18:24.426
- These mothers to care for.
- 00:18:24.493 --> 00:18:26.795
- James: would you right now go
- 00:18:26.862 --> 00:18:28.030
- And get your bank card
- 00:18:28.096 --> 00:18:29.298
- And use it like
- 00:18:29.364 --> 00:18:30.365
- A check, please?
- 00:18:30.432 --> 00:18:31.433
- If you write a check,
- 00:18:31.500 --> 00:18:32.701
- Make it to life but do it now!
- 00:18:32.768 --> 00:18:33.902
- Call us and tell us
- 00:18:33.969 --> 00:18:34.970
- You're mailing it.
- 00:18:35.037 --> 00:18:36.004
- Go online and make the best
- 00:18:36.071 --> 00:18:37.272
- Gift you possibly can.
- 00:18:37.339 --> 00:18:38.473
- $30, $50, or $100,
- 00:18:38.540 --> 00:18:40.742
- You feed three, five, or ten
- 00:18:40.809 --> 00:18:42.477
- Children for the next months.
- 00:18:42.544 --> 00:18:44.846
- Could you give $1,000
- 00:18:44.913 --> 00:18:46.281
- Or more and feed 100?
- 00:18:46.348 --> 00:18:48.517
- Father, please, please move
- 00:18:48.584 --> 00:18:51.019
- Those viewing with your love,
- 00:18:51.086 --> 00:18:54.256
- Your compassion,
- 00:18:54.323 --> 00:18:55.958
- And your help in jesus' name.
- 00:18:56.024 --> 00:18:59.294
- We are his hands
- 00:18:59.361 --> 00:19:02.264
- And his arms.
- 00:19:02.331 --> 00:19:04.132
- Would you reach out,
- 00:19:04.199 --> 00:19:06.034
- Put his arms around
- 00:19:06.101 --> 00:19:07.336
- Someone right now,
- 00:19:07.402 --> 00:19:08.837
- And give them life?
- 00:19:08.904 --> 00:19:10.172
- Please do it.
- 00:19:10.239 --> 00:19:11.673
- Right now, across the continent of africa,
- 00:19:12.674 --> 00:19:15.377
- Children are suffering, facing severe malnutrition,
- 00:19:15.377 --> 00:19:18.380
- And even death.
- 00:19:18.380 --> 00:19:20.482
- With food reserves gone,
- 00:19:20.482 --> 00:19:22.517
- And many areas experiencing severe famine,
- 00:19:22.517 --> 00:19:24.553
- We urgently need to replenish supplies
- 00:19:24.553 --> 00:19:26.989
- To keep feeding the 350,000 children
- 00:19:26.989 --> 00:19:29.825
- Who are counting on us.
- 00:19:29.825 --> 00:19:31.860
- Through life's mission feeding outreach,
- 00:19:31.860 --> 00:19:33.895
- Your gift of love can be an answer to prayer
- 00:19:33.895 --> 00:19:36.531
- For a hurting and hungry child in their time of need.
- 00:19:36.531 --> 00:19:39.935
- Call now with your life-saving gift
- 00:19:39.935 --> 00:19:42.070
- Of $30, $50, or $100
- 00:19:42.070 --> 00:19:45.140
- To help feed and care for three, five, or ten children
- 00:19:45.140 --> 00:19:48.944
- For three full months.
- 00:19:48.944 --> 00:19:51.246
- With your gift, we'll send you natural remedies.
- 00:19:51.246 --> 00:19:54.049
- This beautifully illustrated book
- 00:19:54.049 --> 00:19:56.118
- Explores ancient nutrition and the health benefits
- 00:19:56.118 --> 00:19:58.220
- Found in god's creation to help you live your best life.
- 00:19:58.220 --> 00:20:02.324
- With your gift of $100 or more,
- 00:20:02.324 --> 00:20:04.693
- Please request your "health and wellness bundle."
- 00:20:04.693 --> 00:20:07.262
- This three-book set includes natural remedies,
- 00:20:07.262 --> 00:20:09.498
- As well as essential fasting, a simple eating strategy
- 00:20:09.498 --> 00:20:12.567
- To accelerate weight loss, crush cravings,
- 00:20:12.567 --> 00:20:14.970
- And reverse aging.
- 00:20:14.970 --> 00:20:17.039
- And the probiotic diet that gives effective strategies
- 00:20:17.039 --> 00:20:19.574
- To improve digestion, boost brain health,
- 00:20:19.574 --> 00:20:21.977
- And supercharge your immune system.
- 00:20:21.977 --> 00:20:24.613
- Finally, please consider a gift of $1,000 or more,
- 00:20:24.613 --> 00:20:27.883
- Which will help feed 100 children,
- 00:20:27.883 --> 00:20:29.985
- And you may request our inspiring bronze sculpture,
- 00:20:29.985 --> 00:20:32.387
- "lion of judah."
- 00:20:32.387 --> 00:20:35.457
- Please call, write, or make your gift online today.
- 00:20:35.457 --> 00:20:41.463
- >> hi, i'm jordan rubin, and for over two decades,
- 00:20:42.497 --> 00:20:45.067
- My wife nicki and i have been supporting the ministries of life.
- 00:20:45.067 --> 00:20:48.470
- With any gift to mission feeding,
- 00:20:48.470 --> 00:20:50.872
- You will transform the lives of 350,000 children in africa
- 00:20:50.872 --> 00:20:56.078
- By giving them nutritious food and a hope for the future.
- 00:20:56.078 --> 00:20:59.981
- With your gift, you'll receive a powerful wellness bundle,
- 00:20:59.981 --> 00:21:03.185
- Which can bring the power of health and nutrition into your own home.
- 00:21:03.185 --> 00:21:06.822
- Transform the lives of thousands
- 00:21:06.822 --> 00:21:09.358
- And your own family. do it today.
- 00:21:09.358 --> 00:21:13.261
- James: you know, i feel like
- 00:21:13.362 --> 00:21:14.796
- James: you know, i feel like a lot of you are going
- 00:21:14.863 --> 00:21:16.064
- James: you know, i feel like a lot of you are going to help us feed
- 00:21:16.131 --> 00:21:17.265
- A lot of you are going to help us feed a lot of children. please!
- 00:21:17.332 --> 00:21:19.101
- To help us feed a lot of children. please! would you make
- 00:21:19.167 --> 00:21:20.302
- A lot of children. please! would you make the biggest possible gift
- 00:21:20.369 --> 00:21:21.470
- Would you make the biggest possible gift knowing you're going
- 00:21:21.536 --> 00:21:22.571
- The biggest possible gift knowing you're going to save lots of kids' lives?
- 00:21:22.637 --> 00:21:24.806
- Knowing you're going to save lots of kids' lives? be an answer to a lot
- 00:21:24.873 --> 00:21:25.941
- To save lots of kids' lives? be an answer to a lot of mothers' prayers
- 00:21:26.007 --> 00:21:27.109
- Be an answer to a lot of mothers' prayers and heal their broken hearts.
- 00:21:27.175 --> 00:21:29.711
- Of mothers' prayers and heal their broken hearts. i know you've enjoyed tim.
- 00:21:29.778 --> 00:21:33.048
- And heal their broken hearts. i know you've enjoyed tim. if they wanted to write you
- 00:21:33.115 --> 00:21:34.549
- I know you've enjoyed tim. if they wanted to write you or find out how they could
- 00:21:34.616 --> 00:21:35.784
- If they wanted to write you or find out how they could communicate, or maybe
- 00:21:35.851 --> 00:21:36.918
- Or find out how they could communicate, or maybe even get you to come
- 00:21:36.985 --> 00:21:38.053
- Communicate, or maybe even get you to come speak at some function,
- 00:21:38.120 --> 00:21:39.588
- Even get you to come speak at some function, where would they go online
- 00:21:39.654 --> 00:21:40.722
- To find you?
- 00:21:40.822 --> 00:21:42.424
- To find you? tim: orlandowoc.org.
- 00:21:42.491 --> 00:21:47.529
- To find you? tim: orlandowoc.org. james: that's a mouthful!
- 00:21:47.596 --> 00:21:48.597
- Tim: orlandowoc.org. james: that's a mouthful! so we're going to have it
- 00:21:48.663 --> 00:21:49.698
- James: that's a mouthful! so we're going to have it on the screen.
- 00:21:49.765 --> 00:21:50.766
- So we're going to have it on the screen. you can get it from
- 00:21:50.832 --> 00:21:51.833
- On the screen. you can get it from the prayer center.
- 00:21:51.900 --> 00:21:52.901
- You can get it from the prayer center. you can get it online.
- 00:21:52.968 --> 00:21:54.269
- But, if you will help us
- 00:21:54.369 --> 00:21:56.438
- But, if you will help us feed as many of those children
- 00:21:56.505 --> 00:21:58.974
- But, if you will help us feed as many of those children as you can, and we have
- 00:21:59.040 --> 00:22:00.709
- Feed as many of those children as you can, and we have the gifts from jordan rubin
- 00:22:00.776 --> 00:22:02.677
- As you can, and we have the gifts from jordan rubin that we've told you about,
- 00:22:02.744 --> 00:22:04.045
- The gifts from jordan rubin that we've told you about, but if you'd like
- 00:22:04.112 --> 00:22:05.080
- That we've told you about, but if you'd like to have this book
- 00:22:05.147 --> 00:22:06.181
- But if you'd like to have this book and you say, james,
- 00:22:06.248 --> 00:22:07.983
- To have this book and you say, james, i can identify.
- 00:22:08.049 --> 00:22:09.951
- And you say, james, i can identify. i sure would like to have it.
- 00:22:10.018 --> 00:22:11.052
- I can identify. i sure would like to have it. i've got some friends
- 00:22:11.119 --> 00:22:12.087
- I sure would like to have it. i've got some friends that need it.
- 00:22:12.154 --> 00:22:13.188
- I've got some friends that need it. well, just help us
- 00:22:13.255 --> 00:22:14.423
- That need it. well, just help us feed those kids, and
- 00:22:14.489 --> 00:22:15.791
- Well, just help us feed those kids, and if you ask for the book
- 00:22:15.857 --> 00:22:16.825
- Feed those kids, and if you ask for the book we'll send it to you.
- 00:22:16.892 --> 00:22:18.193
- If you ask for the book we'll send it to you. i love you, buddy.
- 00:22:18.260 --> 00:22:19.261
- We'll send it to you. i love you, buddy. tim: i love you more!
- 00:22:19.327 --> 00:22:20.462
- I love you, buddy. tim: i love you more! james: amen. thank you!
- 00:22:20.529 --> 00:22:21.530
- Tim: i love you more! james: amen. thank you! and we love you.
- 00:22:21.596 --> 00:22:24.065
- James: amen. thank you! and we love you. we want to thank you
- 00:22:24.132 --> 00:22:25.167
- And we love you. we want to thank you for helping us
- 00:22:25.233 --> 00:22:26.501
- We want to thank you for helping us show so many people
- 00:22:26.568 --> 00:22:28.069
- For helping us show so many people how much god loves them.
- 00:22:28.136 --> 00:22:29.805
- Show so many people how much god loves them. thank you.
- 00:22:29.871 --> 00:22:31.573
- How much god loves them. thank you. thank you.
- 00:22:31.640 --> 00:22:33.975
- >> everything is good.
- 00:22:46.054 --> 00:22:47.789
- >> everything is good. we just have to learn
- 00:22:47.856 --> 00:22:49.024
- We just have to learn how to define good
- 00:22:49.090 --> 00:22:50.225
- How to define good according to god.
- 00:22:50.292 --> 00:22:51.393
- According to god. because he's the one
- 00:22:51.460 --> 00:22:52.594
- For our good
- 00:22:54.696 --> 00:22:56.064
- For our good and for his glory
- 00:22:56.131 --> 00:22:57.399
- For our good and for his glory and that's what he's done
- 00:22:57.466 --> 00:22:58.767
- And for his glory and that's what he's done from the beginning of time.
- 00:22:58.834 --> 00:23:00.469
- And that's what he's done from the beginning of time. that's what he has done
- 00:23:00.535 --> 00:23:01.736
- From the beginning of time. that's what he has done in my life
- 00:23:01.803 --> 00:23:02.938
- That's what he has done in my life since i became blind.
- 00:23:03.004 --> 00:23:04.105
- In my life since i became blind. and even
- 00:23:04.172 --> 00:23:05.106
- Since i became blind. and even in the last few years,
- 00:23:05.173 --> 00:23:06.141
- And even in the last few years, when i fell
- 00:23:06.208 --> 00:23:07.275
- In the last few years, when i fell into this deep depression,
- 00:23:07.342 --> 00:23:08.410
- When i fell into this deep depression, and honestly,
- 00:23:08.477 --> 00:23:09.511
- Into this deep depression, and honestly, didn't think i could function.
- 00:23:09.578 --> 00:23:10.612
- And honestly, didn't think i could function. i remember when i finally
- 00:23:10.679 --> 00:23:11.713
- Didn't think i could function. i remember when i finally went to the doctor
- 00:23:11.780 --> 00:23:12.814
- I remember when i finally went to the doctor because everybody who loved me
- 00:23:12.881 --> 00:23:13.949
- Went to the doctor because everybody who loved me begged me to.
- 00:23:14.015 --> 00:23:15.083
- Because everybody who loved me begged me to. i was disoriented
- 00:23:15.150 --> 00:23:16.184
- Begged me to. i was disoriented all the time.
- 00:23:16.251 --> 00:23:17.285
- I was disoriented all the time. i couldn't think clearly.
- 00:23:17.352 --> 00:23:18.386
- All the time. i couldn't think clearly. i was weeping all the time.
- 00:23:18.453 --> 00:23:19.588
- I couldn't think clearly. i was weeping all the time. and even physically --
- 00:23:19.654 --> 00:23:20.755
- I was weeping all the time. and even physically -- i physically -- my body hurt.
- 00:23:20.822 --> 00:23:22.891
- And even physically -- i physically -- my body hurt. i was just in pain, you know.
- 00:23:22.958 --> 00:23:24.326
- I physically -- my body hurt. i was just in pain, you know. and i remember
- 00:23:24.392 --> 00:23:25.560
- I was just in pain, you know. and i remember going to the doctor,
- 00:23:25.627 --> 00:23:27.896
- And i remember going to the doctor, and i emptied my purse
- 00:23:27.963 --> 00:23:29.464
- Going to the doctor, and i emptied my purse onto her table.
- 00:23:29.531 --> 00:23:30.732
- And i emptied my purse onto her table. i had every supplement
- 00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:32.033
- Onto her table. i had every supplement known to man.
- 00:23:32.100 --> 00:23:33.235
- I had every supplement known to man. i had taken every herb,
- 00:23:33.301 --> 00:23:34.569
- Known to man. i had taken every herb, every vitamin.
- 00:23:34.636 --> 00:23:35.904
- I had taken every herb, every vitamin. she looked at it and said,
- 00:23:35.971 --> 00:23:37.105
- Every vitamin. she looked at it and said, "i do not know
- 00:23:37.172 --> 00:23:38.139
- She looked at it and said, "i do not know what to do with these."
- 00:23:38.206 --> 00:23:39.307
- "i do not know what to do with these." [laughing]
- 00:23:39.374 --> 00:23:40.442
- What to do with these." [laughing] i had such a cocktail
- 00:23:40.509 --> 00:23:41.576
- [laughing] i had such a cocktail concoction because why?
- 00:23:41.643 --> 00:23:42.844
- I had such a cocktail concoction because why? i was trying to fix myself.
- 00:23:42.911 --> 00:23:46.081
- Concoction because why? i was trying to fix myself. but what happened is
- 00:23:46.147 --> 00:23:47.549
- I was trying to fix myself. but what happened is my physical body
- 00:23:47.616 --> 00:23:49.184
- But what happened is my physical body became so dismantled
- 00:23:49.251 --> 00:23:50.552
- My physical body became so dismantled is it exposed some real
- 00:23:50.619 --> 00:23:52.220
- Became so dismantled is it exposed some real broken places in my faith.
- 00:23:52.287 --> 00:23:54.723
- Is it exposed some real broken places in my faith. and i remember
- 00:23:54.789 --> 00:23:57.392
- Broken places in my faith. and i remember trying everything
- 00:23:57.459 --> 00:23:58.527
- And i remember trying everything to make myself better,
- 00:23:58.593 --> 00:24:00.395
- Trying everything to make myself better, to feel better,
- 00:24:00.462 --> 00:24:01.563
- To make myself better, to feel better, and to say
- 00:24:01.630 --> 00:24:02.831
- To feel better, and to say all the right things
- 00:24:02.898 --> 00:24:04.032
- And to say all the right things and slap a happy christian
- 00:24:04.099 --> 00:24:05.200
- All the right things and slap a happy christian bumper sticker on my pain
- 00:24:05.267 --> 00:24:06.468
- And slap a happy christian bumper sticker on my pain so i could keep moving.
- 00:24:06.535 --> 00:24:08.303
- Bumper sticker on my pain so i could keep moving. i tried and it wasn't working
- 00:24:08.370 --> 00:24:10.305
- So i could keep moving. i tried and it wasn't working and i remember one day
- 00:24:10.372 --> 00:24:11.740
- I tried and it wasn't working and i remember one day just crying out to the lord.
- 00:24:11.806 --> 00:24:14.276
- And i remember one day just crying out to the lord. "don't you care?
- 00:24:14.342 --> 00:24:15.410
- Just crying out to the lord. "don't you care? i mean i know you --
- 00:24:15.477 --> 00:24:16.611
- "don't you care? i mean i know you -- maybe you only care
- 00:24:16.678 --> 00:24:17.646
- I mean i know you -- maybe you only care about big things
- 00:24:17.712 --> 00:24:18.847
- Maybe you only care about big things like hurricanes,
- 00:24:18.914 --> 00:24:19.881
- About big things like hurricanes, but do you care
- 00:24:19.948 --> 00:24:20.982
- Like hurricanes, but do you care about us little people
- 00:24:21.049 --> 00:24:22.083
- But do you care about us little people who just want to make it
- 00:24:22.150 --> 00:24:23.318
- About us little people who just want to make it through the day?"
- 00:24:23.385 --> 00:24:24.619
- Who just want to make it through the day?" and i think sometimes
- 00:24:24.686 --> 00:24:26.187
- Through the day?" and i think sometimes we ask god to care
- 00:24:26.254 --> 00:24:27.722
- And i think sometimes we ask god to care because sometimes --
- 00:24:27.789 --> 00:24:29.925
- We ask god to care because sometimes -- we feel like we're drowning.
- 00:24:29.991 --> 00:24:31.526
- Because sometimes -- we feel like we're drowning. and i know for me,
- 00:24:31.593 --> 00:24:32.894
- We feel like we're drowning. and i know for me, as i ask god, "do you care?"
- 00:24:32.961 --> 00:24:34.129
- And i know for me, as i ask god, "do you care?" i have this recognition
- 00:24:34.195 --> 00:24:35.597
- As i ask god, "do you care?" i have this recognition that he may not have
- 00:24:35.664 --> 00:24:36.965
- I have this recognition that he may not have answered that question
- 00:24:37.032 --> 00:24:38.800
- That he may not have answered that question with words
- 00:24:38.867 --> 00:24:39.868
- Answered that question with words that i could understand
- 00:24:39.935 --> 00:24:41.202
- With words that i could understand but he answered that question
- 00:24:41.269 --> 00:24:42.504
- That i could understand but he answered that question for me just like he did
- 00:24:42.571 --> 00:24:43.805
- But he answered that question for me just like he did for the disciples,
- 00:24:43.872 --> 00:24:45.040
- For me just like he did for the disciples, through his presence.
- 00:24:45.106 --> 00:24:46.174
- For the disciples, through his presence. he was in the boat.
- 00:24:46.241 --> 00:24:47.342
- Through his presence. he was in the boat. he is a god of compassion.
- 00:24:47.409 --> 00:24:48.710
- He was in the boat. he is a god of compassion. he doesn't stand on the shore
- 00:24:48.777 --> 00:24:49.978
- He is a god of compassion. he doesn't stand on the shore and wave to us and say,
- 00:24:50.045 --> 00:24:51.079
- He doesn't stand on the shore and wave to us and say, "hope you make it!"
- 00:24:51.146 --> 00:24:52.347
- And wave to us and say, "hope you make it!" he's in the boat with us.
- 00:24:52.414 --> 00:24:54.215
- "hope you make it!" he's in the boat with us. and sometimes
- 00:24:54.282 --> 00:24:55.383
- He's in the boat with us. and sometimes that very storm that we think
- 00:24:55.450 --> 00:24:56.718
- And sometimes that very storm that we think is going to take us under,
- 00:24:56.785 --> 00:24:59.220
- That very storm that we think is going to take us under, those deep waters
- 00:24:59.287 --> 00:25:00.422
- Is going to take us under, those deep waters that he's allowing us
- 00:25:00.488 --> 00:25:01.590
- Those deep waters that he's allowing us to go through,
- 00:25:01.656 --> 00:25:02.824
- That he's allowing us to go through, they're not to drown us!
- 00:25:02.891 --> 00:25:04.492
- To go through, they're not to drown us! often,
- 00:25:04.559 --> 00:25:05.827
- They're not to drown us! often, i believe god allows us to go
- 00:25:05.894 --> 00:25:07.095
- Often, i believe god allows us to go through those deep waters
- 00:25:07.162 --> 00:25:08.296
- I believe god allows us to go through those deep waters so he can cleanse us.
- 00:25:08.363 --> 00:25:10.231
- Through those deep waters so he can cleanse us. i went up to my piano
- 00:25:10.298 --> 00:25:11.566
- So he can cleanse us. i went up to my piano and i began to ask god
- 00:25:11.633 --> 00:25:12.801
- I went up to my piano and i began to ask god those questions.
- 00:25:12.867 --> 00:25:14.069
- And i began to ask god those questions. "god, do you not care?"
- 00:25:14.135 --> 00:25:16.571
- Those questions. "god, do you not care?" and it was if,
- 00:25:16.638 --> 00:25:18.006
- "god, do you not care?" and it was if, while i was playing the piano,
- 00:25:18.073 --> 00:25:19.741
- And it was if, while i was playing the piano, this image of a cross
- 00:25:19.808 --> 00:25:22.077
- While i was playing the piano, this image of a cross appeared in my mind's eye.
- 00:25:22.143 --> 00:25:24.679
- This image of a cross appeared in my mind's eye. and as i was asking
- 00:25:24.746 --> 00:25:26.414
- Appeared in my mind's eye. and as i was asking those questions,
- 00:25:26.481 --> 00:25:27.849
- And as i was asking those questions, "why cancer?"
- 00:25:27.916 --> 00:25:29.317
- Those questions, "why cancer?" "why stillborn babies?"
- 00:25:29.384 --> 00:25:30.752
- "why cancer?" "why stillborn babies?" "why blindness?"
- 00:25:30.819 --> 00:25:32.988
- "why stillborn babies?" "why blindness?" i looked at the cross
- 00:25:33.054 --> 00:25:34.322
- "why blindness?" i looked at the cross and i asked,
- 00:25:34.389 --> 00:25:35.657
- I looked at the cross and i asked, "why grace?"
- 00:25:35.724 --> 00:25:37.092
- And i asked, "why grace?" "why forgiveness?"
- 00:25:37.158 --> 00:25:39.394
- "why grace?" "why forgiveness?" "why peace?"
- 00:25:39.461 --> 00:25:41.262
- "why forgiveness?" "why peace?" we really don't deserve
- 00:25:41.329 --> 00:25:42.564
- "why peace?" we really don't deserve any of those things.
- 00:25:42.631 --> 00:25:43.999
- We really don't deserve any of those things. but god, in his mercy,
- 00:25:44.065 --> 00:25:45.367
- Any of those things. but god, in his mercy, has given us those things.
- 00:25:45.433 --> 00:25:46.801
- But god, in his mercy, has given us those things. and i believe
- 00:25:46.868 --> 00:25:48.236
- Has given us those things. and i believe that when we go to the cross
- 00:25:48.303 --> 00:25:49.471
- And i believe that when we go to the cross with our questions,
- 00:25:49.537 --> 00:25:50.739
- That when we go to the cross with our questions, and with our tears,
- 00:25:50.805 --> 00:25:51.973
- With our questions, and with our tears, we go to that one place
- 00:25:52.040 --> 00:25:53.274
- And with our tears, we go to that one place where the true mystery
- 00:25:53.341 --> 00:25:54.743
- We go to that one place where the true mystery of faith exists.
- 00:25:54.809 --> 00:25:56.978
- Where the true mystery of faith exists. why does god love us?
- 00:25:57.045 --> 00:25:58.813
- Of faith exists. why does god love us? why does he carry us?
- 00:25:58.880 --> 00:26:00.148
- Why does god love us? why does he carry us? why did he cry our tears?
- 00:26:00.215 --> 00:26:01.483
- Why does he carry us? why did he cry our tears? why did he bear our pain?
- 00:26:01.549 --> 00:26:02.817
- Why did he cry our tears? why did he bear our pain? because he does care.
- 00:26:02.884 --> 00:26:04.285
- ♪ in the mystery ♪
- 00:26:05.286 --> 00:26:07.288
- ♪ we trust and we adjust ♪
- 00:26:07.288 --> 00:26:10.892
- ♪ and we wonder why ♪
- 00:26:10.892 --> 00:26:16.364
- ♪ oh, take me to the cross ♪
- 00:26:17.132 --> 00:26:21.703
- ♪ and cry each of my tears ♪
- 00:26:21.703 --> 00:26:24.973
- ♪ i am in your tomb ♪
- 00:26:24.973 --> 00:26:28.610
- ♪ crucify my fears ♪
- 00:26:28.610 --> 00:26:32.947
- ♪ i'll praise you with my pain ♪
- 00:26:32.947 --> 00:26:37.285
- ♪ though the mystery remains ♪
- 00:26:37.285 --> 00:26:40.488
- ♪ that you are a god who cries ♪
- 00:26:40.488 --> 00:26:45.994
- ♪ you are a savior who died ♪
- 00:26:45.994 --> 00:26:51.900
- ♪ we can trust you with why ♪
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- Stay connected with life today
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- Through your favorite social media.
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- Get access to exclusive content and news
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- With the life today social media experience!
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- Life today is made possible by the supporters of life outreach international.
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- Your gift will be used exclusively for the exempt purposes of life.
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- The ministry features specific outreaches
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- As examples of the programs it supports and conducts.
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- Gifts are considered to be without restriction
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- As to use unless explicitly stipulated by the donor.
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- The ministry is a member of the ecfa.
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