Tim Johnson - The Hole In My Soul

June 2, 2025 | S25:E147

A former NFL champion and author of “Fatherless No More” explains how God filled the emptiness left by the absence of an earthly father.

#PersonalStory #Testimony #Faith #Author #Religion #WordofGod #Perseverance #Family #inActive #TalkShow #Discipline #LifeTodaywithJamesRobison #JamesRobison #BettyRobison #Sports #Determination #TimJohnson

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Life Today with James Robison | Tim Johnson - The Hole In My Soul | June 2, 2025

>> instead of praying, i ended up in the fetal position,
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Bawling my eyes out, crying like a baby,
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And out comes, "i've never had a father."
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Former super bowl champion, tim johnson
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Is fatherless no more.
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>> now salvation meant more than just me being forgiven
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For my sins and having eternal life.
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There's no reason for heaven without the father.
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Coming up on life today.
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♪
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James: well, i just said --
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James: well, i just said -- i'm james robison,
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James: well, i just said -- i'm james robison, by the way.
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I'm james robison, by the way. betty, we're cowboys fans.
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By the way. betty, we're cowboys fans. i don't even need
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Betty, we're cowboys fans. i don't even need to say why.
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I don't even need to say why. well, one time we understood
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To say why. well, one time we understood why we --
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Dear god, why?
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Dear god, why? we're patient and prayerful.
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Dear god, why? we're patient and prayerful. but here i've got a guy
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We're patient and prayerful. but here i've got a guy that went to penn state?
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But here i've got a guy that went to penn state? tim: i did.
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That went to penn state? tim: i did. james: and you won
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Tim: i did. james: and you won the national championship.
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James: and you won the national championship. and then you beat,
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The national championship. and then you beat, you might say, the cowboys
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And then you beat, you might say, the cowboys in the sense that they won
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You might say, the cowboys in the sense that they won the super bowl playing for,
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In the sense that they won the super bowl playing for, who were you playing for?
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The super bowl playing for, who were you playing for? tim: washington.
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Who were you playing for? tim: washington. james: were they
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Tim: washington. james: were they the redskins then?
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James: were they the redskins then? tim: back then, yes, sir.
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The redskins then? tim: back then, yes, sir. james: and you come in here
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Tim: back then, yes, sir. james: and you come in here and bring this book,
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James: and you come in here and bring this book, fatherless no more .
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And bring this book, fatherless no more . i want to ask you
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Fatherless no more . i want to ask you about this picture because
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I want to ask you about this picture because you told me your son
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About this picture because you told me your son took this picture.
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Tim: first of all, i just
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Tim: first of all, i just need to honor you both
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Need to honor you both for your legendary impact
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For your legendary impact on the world, my life,
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Or seen you.
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Or seen you. so thank you for
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Or seen you. so thank you for the privilege of being here.
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So thank you for the privilege of being here. that picture,
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The privilege of being here. that picture, believe it or not,
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That picture, believe it or not, sometimes makes me emotional
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Believe it or not, sometimes makes me emotional because my wife and i were
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Sometimes makes me emotional because my wife and i were in tennessee dropping
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Because my wife and i were in tennessee dropping our son off for
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In tennessee dropping our son off for his freshman year
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Our son off for his freshman year at lipscomb university.
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His freshman year at lipscomb university. and because he was
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At lipscomb university. and because he was into photography, we were
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And because he was into photography, we were at lunch, and he would
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Into photography, we were at lunch, and he would just take random,
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At lunch, and he would just take random, really great pictures.
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Just take random, really great pictures. he took a photo.
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Really great pictures. he took a photo. weeks, it must have been weeks
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He took a photo. weeks, it must have been weeks later, my wife showed me,
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Weeks, it must have been weeks later, my wife showed me, "oh, sean took this picture
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Later, my wife showed me, "oh, sean took this picture of you."
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"oh, sean took this picture of you." i had no idea that he did.
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Of you." i had no idea that he did. and so, when this idea
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I had no idea that he did. and so, when this idea of writing a book came up
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And so, when this idea of writing a book came up about six years ago,
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Of writing a book came up about six years ago, almost seven years ago,
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About six years ago, almost seven years ago, one impression hit me.
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Almost seven years ago, one impression hit me. it was the father saying,
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One impression hit me. it was the father saying, "that photo."
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It was the father saying, "that photo." we had different renditions
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"that photo." we had different renditions of that photo because
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We had different renditions of that photo because my son took a picture of me,
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Of that photo because my son took a picture of me, and i've never seen
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My son took a picture of me, and i've never seen a picture of my father.
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And i've never seen a picture of my father. james: well, i want
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A picture of my father. james: well, i want to tell you, tim,
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James: well, i want to tell you, tim, i just thank god for you.
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To tell you, tim, i just thank god for you. i want you to tell us
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I just thank god for you. i want you to tell us and our viewers
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I want you to tell us and our viewers about your story.
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And our viewers about your story. i hope you'll get this book
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About your story. i hope you'll get this book because it's in the bookstores
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But, we'd be happy to send it
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But, we'd be happy to send it to you if you'll help us
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To you if you'll help us feed some starving kids
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Feed some starving kids because we want to say
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Because we want to say a big thank you
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A big thank you for saving their lives.
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For saving their lives. tim, tell me a little bit
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And how you ended up
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And how you ended up where you are now
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And how you ended up where you are now after winning a national
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Where you are now after winning a national championship in football.
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After winning a national championship in football. winning the super bowl
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Championship in football. winning the super bowl is a pretty big deal
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Winning the super bowl is a pretty big deal for an athlete,
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Is a pretty big deal for an athlete, especially in football.
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For an athlete, especially in football. your whole world changed.
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Especially in football. your whole world changed. tell us about it.
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Your whole world changed. tell us about it. tim: so much of the details
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Tell us about it. tim: so much of the details of what i would share
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Tim: so much of the details of what i would share are actually in the book,
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Of what i would share are actually in the book, laid out pretty clearly.
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Are actually in the book, laid out pretty clearly. but i remember when
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Laid out pretty clearly. but i remember when i was in junior high,
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But i remember when i was in junior high, and like most kids,
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I was in junior high, and like most kids, i was trying to find my way
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And like most kids, i was trying to find my way like everyone else.
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I was trying to find my way like everyone else. but i remember in junior high,
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Like everyone else. but i remember in junior high, i got in trouble being
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But i remember in junior high, i got in trouble being associated with some kids
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I got in trouble being associated with some kids who were really in trouble.
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Associated with some kids who were really in trouble. you know how sometimes
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Who were really in trouble. you know how sometimes you say, well, i wasn't
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You know how sometimes you say, well, i wasn't in trouble.
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You say, well, i wasn't in trouble. i didn't really do it.
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In trouble. i didn't really do it. i actually did it.
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I didn't really do it. i actually did it. i'm in the principal's office,
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I actually did it. i'm in the principal's office, and i'm in this room,
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I'm in the principal's office, and i'm in this room, with just white walls.
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And i'm in this room, with just white walls. i realized i needed help.
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With just white walls. i realized i needed help. i felt like i was in jail
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I realized i needed help. i felt like i was in jail myself because
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I felt like i was in jail myself because the principal's office was
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Myself because the principal's office was a very fearful thing,
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The principal's office was a very fearful thing, and i was a long way
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A very fearful thing, and i was a long way away from home.
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And i was a long way away from home. they bussed us 45 minutes
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Away from home. they bussed us 45 minutes away for school
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They bussed us 45 minutes away for school from our neighborhood.
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Away for school from our neighborhood. so, i realized i couldn't
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From our neighborhood. so, i realized i couldn't call my mom because
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So, i realized i couldn't call my mom because she would work two
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Call my mom because she would work two or three jobs a day.
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She would work two or three jobs a day. i couldn't take her away.
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Or three jobs a day. i couldn't take her away. i realized i had nobody
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I couldn't take her away. i realized i had nobody to call.
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I realized i had nobody to call. i had no father to call.
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To call. i had no father to call. so, this is hindsight 20/20.
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I had no father to call. so, this is hindsight 20/20. i do believe that
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So, this is hindsight 20/20. i do believe that in my mind, i decided
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I do believe that in my mind, i decided to never need him,
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In my mind, i decided to never need him, to never need a father.
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To never need him, to never need a father. why need what you don't have?
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To never need a father. why need what you don't have? i began to move from there,
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Why need what you don't have? i began to move from there, adjusting my life based on
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I began to move from there, adjusting my life based on whatever i needed to do
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Adjusting my life based on whatever i needed to do for the moment to get by.
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Whatever i needed to do for the moment to get by. so, on my birth certificate --
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For the moment to get by. so, on my birth certificate -- there's places on
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So, on my birth certificate -- there's places on everyone's birth certificate
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There's places on everyone's birth certificate for mom and dad.
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Everyone's birth certificate for mom and dad. so my mom's place is filled in
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For mom and dad. so my mom's place is filled in but in the father's space,
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So my mom's place is filled in but in the father's space, it's empty.
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But in the father's space, it's empty. so, i walked around
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It's empty. so, i walked around with a hole in my soul
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So, i walked around with a hole in my soul for many years, feeling like
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I didn't know i was
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I didn't know i was a person to be loved.
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A person to be loved. so through the course
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So through the course of time, just making it up
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Of time, just making it up as i went, i had
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With a gentleman that said,
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With a gentleman that said, "you can be different."
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With a gentleman that said, "you can be different." he said, "you can
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"you can be different." he said, "you can be different."
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He said, "you can be different." now mind you, i had
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Be different." now mind you, i had just quit the junior high
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And i was very average
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And i was very average as an athlete.
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As an athlete. but he said, "you can
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But he said, "you can be different."
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Be different." he told me about
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He told me about determination, motivation,
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Determination, motivation, discipline, and perseverance.
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Discipline, and perseverance. so i just said, "well,
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I'm going to start
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I'm going to start applying myself."
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I'm going to start applying myself." i started lifting weights.
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Applying myself." i started lifting weights. i started being more focused
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I started lifting weights. i started being more focused on just being an athlete
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I started being more focused on just being an athlete after being a quitter
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On just being an athlete after being a quitter and trying to see
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After being a quitter and trying to see what this is all about.
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And trying to see what this is all about. he said something that was
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What this is all about. he said something that was critical, "there's someone
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He said something that was critical, "there's someone around the corner that's
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Critical, "there's someone around the corner that's always bigger and faster."
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Around the corner that's always bigger and faster." so by the time
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Always bigger and faster." so by the time i graduated high school,
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So by the time i graduated high school, i was an all-american
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I graduated high school, i was an all-american in high school,
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I was an all-american in high school, and i was recruited by
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In high school, and i was recruited by most colleges in the country.
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And i was recruited by most colleges in the country. i had a free ticket
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Most colleges in the country. i had a free ticket to go anywhere.
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I had a free ticket to go anywhere. fast-forward to
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To go anywhere. fast-forward to my second year in college,
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Fast-forward to my second year in college, i had another conversation.
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My second year in college, i had another conversation. this time it wasn't
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I had another conversation. this time it wasn't about my athletics.
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This time it wasn't about my athletics. it was about how
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About my athletics. it was about how i could live differently.
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It was about how i could live differently. and that scared me real bad
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I could live differently. and that scared me real bad because i'd never known
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And that scared me real bad because i'd never known how to tell the truth.
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Because i'd never known how to tell the truth. i was a nice guy, prom king,
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How to tell the truth. i was a nice guy, prom king, all-american in high school,
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I was a nice guy, prom king, all-american in high school, and one of the captains
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All-american in high school, and one of the captains of the football team.
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And one of the captains of the football team. i had a lot favorably
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Of the football team. i had a lot favorably going for me on the outside,
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I had a lot favorably going for me on the outside, but i did not know
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Going for me on the outside, but i did not know how to tell the truth,
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But i did not know how to tell the truth, and it was evidenced by
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How to tell the truth, and it was evidenced by my relationship with
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And it was evidenced by my relationship with my future wife.
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My relationship with my future wife. i hurt her so much.
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My future wife. i hurt her so much. out of the pain of
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I hurt her so much. out of the pain of my own fatherlessness,
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Out of the pain of my own fatherlessness, i didn't know how
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My own fatherlessness, i didn't know how to treat a young lady.
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I didn't know how to treat a young lady. he said, "you can
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To treat a young lady. he said, "you can live differently."
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He said, "you can live differently." and he preached the gospel.
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Live differently." and he preached the gospel. after overcoming fear,
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And he preached the gospel. after overcoming fear, i realized i didn't have
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After overcoming fear, i realized i didn't have to change my life, but
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I realized i didn't have to change my life, but i had to humble myself
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To change my life, but i had to humble myself to trust that jesus would.
00:06:37.487 --> 00:06:40.223
I had to humble myself to trust that jesus would. and when i finally let go
00:06:40.289 --> 00:06:41.657
To trust that jesus would. and when i finally let go of all the things that
00:06:41.724 --> 00:06:43.860
And when i finally let go of all the things that were barriers and things
00:06:43.926 --> 00:06:45.461
Of all the things that were barriers and things that i was gripping tight
00:06:45.528 --> 00:06:47.296
Were barriers and things that i was gripping tight because i thought
00:06:47.363 --> 00:06:48.464
That i was gripping tight because i thought this was my life,
00:06:48.531 --> 00:06:49.532
Because i thought this was my life, i let it go.
00:06:49.599 --> 00:06:51.000
This was my life, i let it go. he gave me a new life
00:06:51.067 --> 00:06:52.502
I let it go. he gave me a new life and forgave me of all my sins.
00:06:52.568 --> 00:06:54.370
He gave me a new life and forgave me of all my sins. i'm married today
00:06:54.437 --> 00:06:55.638
And forgave me of all my sins. i'm married today to that woman that
00:06:55.705 --> 00:06:57.006
I'm married today to that woman that i couldn't tell the truth to
00:06:57.073 --> 00:06:58.574
To that woman that i couldn't tell the truth to because he restored
00:06:58.641 --> 00:07:00.343
I couldn't tell the truth to because he restored everything that i had
00:07:00.409 --> 00:07:02.311
Because he restored everything that i had given away and lost because
00:07:02.378 --> 00:07:04.680
Everything that i had given away and lost because of the hole in my soul.
00:07:04.747 --> 00:07:06.215
Given away and lost because of the hole in my soul. he filled it with the love
00:07:06.282 --> 00:07:07.550
Of the hole in my soul. he filled it with the love of the father.
00:07:07.617 --> 00:07:08.851
He filled it with the love of the father. james: did you find
00:07:08.918 --> 00:07:10.219
Of the father. james: did you find in some way the reality
00:07:10.286 --> 00:07:12.922
James: did you find in some way the reality of a real father?
00:07:12.989 --> 00:07:14.690
In some way the reality of a real father? tim: yes.
00:07:14.757 --> 00:07:16.859
Of a real father? tim: yes. you know mine was a pretty
00:07:16.926 --> 00:07:17.960
Tim: yes. you know mine was a pretty dramatic experience,
00:07:18.027 --> 00:07:19.362
You know mine was a pretty dramatic experience, and i've talked to people
00:07:19.428 --> 00:07:20.496
Dramatic experience, and i've talked to people and they've had these.
00:07:20.563 --> 00:07:22.331
And i've talked to people and they've had these. when i was with
00:07:22.398 --> 00:07:23.466
And they've had these. when i was with the pittsburgh steelers
00:07:23.533 --> 00:07:24.600
When i was with the pittsburgh steelers that first year, we would
00:07:24.667 --> 00:07:25.701
The pittsburgh steelers that first year, we would drive back and forth 3.5 hours
00:07:25.768 --> 00:07:27.136
That first year, we would drive back and forth 3.5 hours one way to church,
00:07:27.203 --> 00:07:28.271
Drive back and forth 3.5 hours one way to church, my wife and i.
00:07:28.337 --> 00:07:29.572
One way to church, my wife and i. so weekend after weekend,
00:07:29.639 --> 00:07:31.374
My wife and i. so weekend after weekend, i would work out,
00:07:31.440 --> 00:07:32.441
So weekend after weekend, i would work out, train during the week,
00:07:32.508 --> 00:07:33.476
I would work out, train during the week, get in the car, and we'd go
00:07:33.543 --> 00:07:34.544
Train during the week, get in the car, and we'd go to state college.
00:07:34.610 --> 00:07:36.078
Get in the car, and we'd go to state college. every saturday, we would
00:07:36.145 --> 00:07:37.246
To state college. every saturday, we would have the pastor teaching us
00:07:37.313 --> 00:07:38.915
Every saturday, we would have the pastor teaching us young leaders.
00:07:38.981 --> 00:07:40.516
Have the pastor teaching us young leaders. it was just a routine.
00:07:40.583 --> 00:07:41.784
Young leaders. it was just a routine. we were so thrilled that
00:07:41.851 --> 00:07:43.219
It was just a routine. we were so thrilled that we got to drive 3.5 hours.
00:07:43.286 --> 00:07:44.487
We were so thrilled that we got to drive 3.5 hours. we didn't know you were
00:07:44.554 --> 00:07:45.721
We got to drive 3.5 hours. we didn't know you were supposed to complain.
00:07:45.788 --> 00:07:47.590
We didn't know you were supposed to complain. and so, one saturday
00:07:47.657 --> 00:07:49.692
Supposed to complain. and so, one saturday we do the same routine.
00:07:49.759 --> 00:07:51.594
And so, one saturday we do the same routine. we get in a circle
00:07:51.661 --> 00:07:53.062
We do the same routine. we get in a circle and this time
00:07:53.129 --> 00:07:54.964
We get in a circle and this time something happens
00:07:55.031 --> 00:07:56.065
And this time something happens that's unexplainable.
00:07:56.132 --> 00:07:57.500
Something happens that's unexplainable. instead of praying,
00:07:57.567 --> 00:07:58.568
That's unexplainable. instead of praying, i ended up
00:07:58.634 --> 00:07:59.702
Instead of praying, i ended up in the fetal position,
00:07:59.769 --> 00:08:01.504
I ended up in the fetal position, bawling my eyes out,
00:08:01.571 --> 00:08:03.706
In the fetal position, bawling my eyes out, crying like a baby.
00:08:03.773 --> 00:08:06.576
Bawling my eyes out, crying like a baby. i feel myself in the room
00:08:06.642 --> 00:08:08.210
Crying like a baby. i feel myself in the room and i'm wondering --
00:08:08.277 --> 00:08:10.880
I feel myself in the room and i'm wondering -- i'm sure you've had
00:08:10.947 --> 00:08:12.081
And i'm wondering -- i'm sure you've had the situation where
00:08:12.148 --> 00:08:13.082
I'm sure you've had the situation where you're kind of wondering,
00:08:13.149 --> 00:08:14.350
The situation where you're kind of wondering, why am i here?
00:08:14.417 --> 00:08:15.518
You're kind of wondering, why am i here? like, what's going on?
00:08:15.585 --> 00:08:16.552
Why am i here? like, what's going on? you're talking to yourself.
00:08:16.619 --> 00:08:17.687
Like, what's going on? you're talking to yourself. i was thinking,
00:08:17.753 --> 00:08:18.721
You're talking to yourself. i was thinking, why are you down here?
00:08:18.788 --> 00:08:19.822
I was thinking, why are you down here? why are you crying?
00:08:19.889 --> 00:08:21.023
Why are you down here? why are you crying? i'm a pro football player.
00:08:21.090 --> 00:08:22.091
Why are you crying? i'm a pro football player. i got a wife.
00:08:22.158 --> 00:08:23.259
I'm a pro football player. i got a wife. i got a kid.
00:08:23.326 --> 00:08:24.327
I got a wife. i got a kid. i actually have a car now.
00:08:24.393 --> 00:08:25.361
I got a kid. i actually have a car now. my bills are paid.
00:08:25.428 --> 00:08:26.462
I actually have a car now. my bills are paid. there was no reason.
00:08:26.529 --> 00:08:27.697
My bills are paid. there was no reason. i'm on the ground
00:08:27.763 --> 00:08:28.764
There was no reason. i'm on the ground and the pastor hesitated.
00:08:28.831 --> 00:08:29.832
I'm on the ground and the pastor hesitated. i feel the room, but
00:08:29.899 --> 00:08:30.967
And the pastor hesitated. i feel the room, but i don't see it because
00:08:31.033 --> 00:08:32.101
I feel the room, but i don't see it because i'm bawling.
00:08:32.168 --> 00:08:33.169
I don't see it because i'm bawling. he comes over and says,
00:08:33.235 --> 00:08:34.704
I'm bawling. he comes over and says, "everything okay?"
00:08:34.770 --> 00:08:37.173
He comes over and says, "everything okay?" and out comes,
00:08:37.239 --> 00:08:38.507
"everything okay?" and out comes, "i've never had a father.
00:08:38.574 --> 00:08:40.943
And out comes, "i've never had a father. i never had a father.
00:08:41.010 --> 00:08:42.945
"i've never had a father. i never had a father. i never had a father."
00:08:43.012 --> 00:08:44.447
I never had a father. i never had a father." i didn't even know
00:08:44.513 --> 00:08:45.548
I never had a father." i didn't even know that was in there.
00:08:45.615 --> 00:08:47.016
I didn't even know that was in there. i had no clue
00:08:47.083 --> 00:08:48.985
That was in there. i had no clue that was in there.
00:08:49.051 --> 00:08:50.653
I had no clue that was in there. that little boy
00:08:50.720 --> 00:08:53.022
That was in there. that little boy is the one jesus found
00:08:53.089 --> 00:08:55.458
That little boy is the one jesus found that he says,
00:08:55.524 --> 00:08:56.926
To leave you alone.
00:08:58.561 --> 00:09:01.998
To leave you alone. i will not leave you
00:09:02.064 --> 00:09:03.299
I will not leave you as orphans.
00:09:03.366 --> 00:09:04.800
As orphans. i am going to introduce you,"
00:09:04.867 --> 00:09:07.370
I am going to introduce you," because the pastor said this.
00:09:07.436 --> 00:09:09.438
He's going to father you."
00:09:11.507 --> 00:09:13.776
He's going to father you." and now, salvation meant
00:09:13.843 --> 00:09:15.645
He's going to father you." and now, salvation meant more than just me
00:09:15.711 --> 00:09:16.912
And now, salvation meant more than just me being forgiven for my sins
00:09:16.979 --> 00:09:18.347
More than just me being forgiven for my sins and having eternal life.
00:09:18.414 --> 00:09:20.516
Being forgiven for my sins and having eternal life. it's there's no reason
00:09:20.583 --> 00:09:21.851
And having eternal life. it's there's no reason for heaven without the father.
00:09:21.917 --> 00:09:23.719
It's there's no reason for heaven without the father. so it was that moment
00:09:23.786 --> 00:09:25.755
For heaven without the father. so it was that moment that began to shift
00:09:25.821 --> 00:09:27.256
So it was that moment that began to shift my whole life to realizing
00:09:27.323 --> 00:09:30.359
That began to shift my whole life to realizing that my birth certificate
00:09:30.426 --> 00:09:32.161
My whole life to realizing that my birth certificate now has a name on it
00:09:32.228 --> 00:09:33.596
That my birth certificate now has a name on it that no one can see but me.
00:09:33.663 --> 00:09:35.064
Now has a name on it that no one can see but me. it's "heavenly father"
00:09:35.131 --> 00:09:36.565
That no one can see but me. it's "heavenly father" written in red because
00:09:36.632 --> 00:09:37.667
It's "heavenly father" written in red because it cost the blood of his son
00:09:37.733 --> 00:09:39.869
Written in red because it cost the blood of his son to break the curse
00:09:39.935 --> 00:09:41.170
It cost the blood of his son to break the curse of fatherlessness
00:09:41.237 --> 00:09:42.405
James: you know as you were
00:09:43.839 --> 00:09:45.107
James: you know as you were telling that i was flashing
00:09:45.174 --> 00:09:46.409
Telling that i was flashing through all the years of
00:09:46.475 --> 00:09:48.377
Through all the years of -- i don't know because
00:09:48.444 --> 00:09:50.413
-- i don't know because i never did have a father.
00:09:50.479 --> 00:09:52.648
Kind of fill in but
00:09:54.116 --> 00:09:58.054
Kind of fill in but i remember he became
00:09:58.120 --> 00:09:59.588
Kind of fill in but i remember he became my father.
00:09:59.655 --> 00:10:01.891
I remember he became my father. he became the father
00:10:01.957 --> 00:10:03.259
My father. he became the father of the fatherless kid.
00:10:03.325 --> 00:10:05.594
He became the father of the fatherless kid. you've been so incredible!
00:10:05.661 --> 00:10:07.863
Of the fatherless kid. you've been so incredible! he's always listening.
00:10:07.930 --> 00:10:09.031
You've been so incredible! he's always listening. he's always ready to speak.
00:10:09.098 --> 00:10:11.167
He's always listening. he's always ready to speak. i want to thank you
00:10:11.233 --> 00:10:12.368
He's always ready to speak. i want to thank you because you do talk to me
00:10:12.435 --> 00:10:13.536
I want to thank you because you do talk to me so much, so clearly.
00:10:13.602 --> 00:10:15.371
Because you do talk to me so much, so clearly. and you're so patient,
00:10:15.438 --> 00:10:16.572
So much, so clearly. and you're so patient, you're so loving.
00:10:16.639 --> 00:10:18.107
And you're so patient, you're so loving. you're so inspirational,
00:10:18.174 --> 00:10:19.508
You're so loving. you're so inspirational, you're so powerful!
00:10:19.575 --> 00:10:21.010
You're so inspirational, you're so powerful! i think the exciting thing
00:10:21.077 --> 00:10:22.311
You're so powerful! i think the exciting thing right now for me
00:10:22.378 --> 00:10:23.512
I think the exciting thing right now for me to be able to say, tim
00:10:23.579 --> 00:10:24.613
Right now for me to be able to say, tim is that i have lost my life
00:10:24.680 --> 00:10:26.482
To be able to say, tim is that i have lost my life in his dream and he knows it.
00:10:26.549 --> 00:10:29.719
Is that i have lost my life in his dream and he knows it. i'm talking to him
00:10:29.785 --> 00:10:31.754
In his dream and he knows it. i'm talking to him about fulfilling his dream.
00:10:31.821 --> 00:10:34.090
I'm talking to him about fulfilling his dream. that's what i want.
00:10:34.156 --> 00:10:35.224
About fulfilling his dream. that's what i want. i said i want to fulfill
00:10:35.291 --> 00:10:36.325
That's what i want. i said i want to fulfill your vision and your dream.
00:10:36.392 --> 00:10:37.626
I said i want to fulfill your vision and your dream. but i'm telling him
00:10:37.693 --> 00:10:39.195
Your vision and your dream. but i'm telling him he's so real
00:10:39.261 --> 00:10:41.263
But i'm telling him he's so real and he is to you.
00:10:41.330 --> 00:10:42.798
He's so real and he is to you. and now i feel like
00:10:42.865 --> 00:10:43.933
And he is to you. and now i feel like with what you're doing,
00:10:43.999 --> 00:10:46.001
And now i feel like with what you're doing, you're seeing others come
00:10:46.068 --> 00:10:48.137
With what you're doing, you're seeing others come to know that father.
00:10:48.204 --> 00:10:49.839
You're seeing others come to know that father. no matter what kind
00:10:49.905 --> 00:10:51.040
To know that father. no matter what kind of father they've got,
00:10:51.107 --> 00:10:52.341
No matter what kind of father they've got, they've come to know
00:10:52.408 --> 00:10:53.576
Of father they've got, they've come to know the father everyone can have,
00:10:53.642 --> 00:10:55.244
They've come to know the father everyone can have, who is the ultimate father.
00:10:55.311 --> 00:10:56.645
The father everyone can have, who is the ultimate father. tim: yes.
00:10:56.712 --> 00:10:58.681
Who is the ultimate father. tim: yes. my heart is compelled
00:10:58.748 --> 00:11:00.716
Tim: yes. my heart is compelled when you say
00:11:00.783 --> 00:11:02.284
My heart is compelled when you say "the father's dream."
00:11:02.351 --> 00:11:04.220
When you say "the father's dream." in march of 2022, i was
00:11:04.286 --> 00:11:05.821
"the father's dream." in march of 2022, i was in nashville, oddly enough,
00:11:05.888 --> 00:11:09.258
In march of 2022, i was in nashville, oddly enough, and i prayed a prayer.
00:11:09.325 --> 00:11:11.594
In nashville, oddly enough, and i prayed a prayer. not what i want.
00:11:11.660 --> 00:11:13.162
And i prayed a prayer. not what i want. i prayed, "father, show me
00:11:13.229 --> 00:11:15.264
Not what i want. i prayed, "father, show me the secrets of your heart.
00:11:15.331 --> 00:11:17.333
I prayed, "father, show me the secrets of your heart. because i realized
00:11:17.399 --> 00:11:18.534
The secrets of your heart. because i realized i don't have much
00:11:18.601 --> 00:11:19.869
Because i realized i don't have much past encouragement
00:11:19.935 --> 00:11:20.970
I don't have much past encouragement to give people to change
00:11:21.036 --> 00:11:22.805
Past encouragement to give people to change the human condition.
00:11:22.872 --> 00:11:24.540
To give people to change the human condition. but one little word
00:11:24.607 --> 00:11:25.741
The human condition. but one little word from your heart
00:11:25.808 --> 00:11:27.343
But one little word from your heart can change any heart."
00:11:27.409 --> 00:11:29.845
From your heart can change any heart." do you know what he said?
00:11:29.912 --> 00:11:31.447
Can change any heart." do you know what he said? two words: "rikers island."
00:11:31.514 --> 00:11:33.983
Do you know what he said? two words: "rikers island." he spoke to me.
00:11:34.049 --> 00:11:35.217
Two words: "rikers island." he spoke to me. i don't always hear
00:11:35.284 --> 00:11:36.585
He spoke to me. i don't always hear what he has to say.
00:11:36.652 --> 00:11:37.820
I don't always hear what he has to say. he says, "rikers island."
00:11:37.887 --> 00:11:39.155
What he has to say. he says, "rikers island." i knew what it was.
00:11:39.221 --> 00:11:41.323
He says, "rikers island." i knew what it was. i was aware of it.
00:11:41.390 --> 00:11:42.658
I knew what it was. i was aware of it. but i googled
00:11:42.725 --> 00:11:43.826
I was aware of it. but i googled "rikers island" because
00:11:43.893 --> 00:11:44.894
But i googled "rikers island" because i thought it was close.
00:11:44.960 --> 00:11:46.262
"rikers island" because i thought it was close. it's one of the most
00:11:46.328 --> 00:11:47.897
I thought it was close. it's one of the most notorious jails
00:11:47.963 --> 00:11:48.964
It's one of the most notorious jails in the world.
00:11:49.031 --> 00:11:51.133
Notorious jails in the world. it's an island of
00:11:51.200 --> 00:11:52.268
In the world. it's an island of just jails on the hills
00:11:52.334 --> 00:11:53.836
It's an island of just jails on the hills of queens in new york city.
00:11:53.903 --> 00:11:56.872
Just jails on the hills of queens in new york city. it is where the worst
00:11:56.939 --> 00:11:59.742
Of queens in new york city. it is where the worst of the worst go.
00:11:59.809 --> 00:12:02.044
It is where the worst of the worst go. it's a very violent place.
00:12:02.111 --> 00:12:03.479
Of the worst go. it's a very violent place. they call it hell on earth,
00:12:03.546 --> 00:12:04.747
It's a very violent place. they call it hell on earth, basically.
00:12:04.814 --> 00:12:05.881
They call it hell on earth, basically. so i'm wondering,
00:12:05.948 --> 00:12:07.016
Basically. so i'm wondering, what does this have
00:12:07.082 --> 00:12:08.083
So i'm wondering, what does this have to do with me?
00:12:08.150 --> 00:12:09.151
What does this have to do with me? mind you, i ask,
00:12:09.218 --> 00:12:10.252
To do with me? mind you, i ask, what's on your heart?
00:12:10.319 --> 00:12:11.821
Mind you, i ask, what's on your heart? i have a paragraph
00:12:11.887 --> 00:12:13.622
What's on your heart? i have a paragraph still in my notes
00:12:13.689 --> 00:12:15.357
I have a paragraph still in my notes where he showed me
00:12:15.424 --> 00:12:17.359
Still in my notes where he showed me what he wanted to do.
00:12:17.426 --> 00:12:20.729
Where he showed me what he wanted to do. he says the theme of
00:12:20.796 --> 00:12:22.298
What he wanted to do. he says the theme of what he wanted to do was
00:12:22.364 --> 00:12:23.866
He says the theme of what he wanted to do was i'm going to move in
00:12:23.933 --> 00:12:25.901
What he wanted to do was i'm going to move in that dark place in the lives
00:12:25.968 --> 00:12:28.204
I'm going to move in that dark place in the lives of those no one
00:12:28.270 --> 00:12:29.839
That dark place in the lives of those no one has answers for.
00:12:29.905 --> 00:12:32.508
Of those no one has answers for. i'm shook.
00:12:32.575 --> 00:12:34.343
Has answers for. i'm shook. i end up on my bed
00:12:34.410 --> 00:12:35.644
I'm shook. i end up on my bed in the fetal position,
00:12:35.711 --> 00:12:37.146
I end up on my bed in the fetal position, getting like,
00:12:37.213 --> 00:12:38.314
In the fetal position, getting like, what are you doing?
00:12:38.380 --> 00:12:39.582
Getting like, what are you doing? i don't understand this.
00:12:39.648 --> 00:12:41.317
In june of 2022,
00:12:43.052 --> 00:12:46.088
In june of 2022, i landed on rikers island
00:12:46.155 --> 00:12:48.224
I landed on rikers island and the miracles,
00:12:48.290 --> 00:12:49.458
And the miracles, we don't even have time
00:12:49.525 --> 00:12:50.626
We don't even have time to tell you how i got there.
00:12:50.693 --> 00:12:52.528
From that time,
00:12:54.897 --> 00:12:56.699
From that time, rikers island was
00:12:56.765 --> 00:12:58.167
From that time, rikers island was at the height of violence.
00:12:58.234 --> 00:13:00.569
Rikers island was at the height of violence. as we began the journey,
00:13:00.636 --> 00:13:02.004
At the height of violence. as we began the journey, i lived on rikers island,
00:13:02.071 --> 00:13:03.639
As we began the journey, i lived on rikers island, me and my former teammate,
00:13:03.706 --> 00:13:05.708
I lived on rikers island, me and my former teammate, and lived in an rv.
00:13:05.774 --> 00:13:07.276
Me and my former teammate, and lived in an rv. never been done before,
00:13:07.343 --> 00:13:08.644
And lived in an rv. never been done before, on rikers island
00:13:08.711 --> 00:13:09.745
Never been done before, on rikers island for five months,
00:13:09.812 --> 00:13:11.347
On rikers island for five months, with an original group
00:13:11.413 --> 00:13:12.548
For five months, with an original group of the who's who for crime
00:13:12.615 --> 00:13:13.949
With an original group of the who's who for crime in new york city
00:13:14.016 --> 00:13:15.351
Of the who's who for crime in new york city in the 18- to 21-year-old
00:13:15.417 --> 00:13:17.052
In new york city in the 18- to 21-year-old population.
00:13:17.119 --> 00:13:18.921
In the 18- to 21-year-old population. so the violence
00:13:18.988 --> 00:13:19.989
Population. so the violence is at an all-time high.
00:13:20.055 --> 00:13:21.523
So the violence is at an all-time high. this should have never
00:13:21.590 --> 00:13:22.625
Is at an all-time high. this should have never happened to have
00:13:22.691 --> 00:13:23.759
This should have never happened to have these individuals
00:13:23.826 --> 00:13:24.960
Happened to have these individuals in the same room,
00:13:25.027 --> 00:13:26.729
These individuals in the same room, and it not be a bloodbath.
00:13:26.795 --> 00:13:29.064
In the same room, and it not be a bloodbath. i didn't have a weapon
00:13:29.131 --> 00:13:30.733
And it not be a bloodbath. i didn't have a weapon except a word from the father
00:13:30.799 --> 00:13:33.435
I didn't have a weapon except a word from the father that he was going to move.
00:13:33.502 --> 00:13:35.170
Except a word from the father that he was going to move. and move he did!
00:13:35.237 --> 00:13:36.972
That he was going to move. and move he did! because out of the 16,
00:13:37.039 --> 00:13:39.041
And move he did! because out of the 16, a couple of them had to go on,
00:13:39.108 --> 00:13:41.143
Because out of the 16, a couple of them had to go on, baptized 11
00:13:41.210 --> 00:13:42.311
A couple of them had to go on, baptized 11 in the original group.
00:13:42.378 --> 00:13:43.846
Baptized 11 in the original group. in june, it will be
00:13:43.913 --> 00:13:45.314
In the original group. in june, it will be three years where we've had
00:13:45.381 --> 00:13:46.782
In june, it will be three years where we've had over 100 guys
00:13:46.849 --> 00:13:48.117
Three years where we've had over 100 guys and have baptized over 80.
00:13:48.183 --> 00:13:50.486
Over 100 guys and have baptized over 80. james: isn't that great!
00:13:50.552 --> 00:13:51.854
And have baptized over 80. james: isn't that great! tim: and the violence
00:13:51.921 --> 00:13:53.155
James: isn't that great! tim: and the violence in the jail went down
00:13:53.222 --> 00:13:54.890
Tim: and the violence in the jail went down that first year, along with
00:13:54.957 --> 00:13:56.458
In the jail went down that first year, along with other things that they did.
00:13:56.525 --> 00:13:58.761
Because he loves me so much,
00:14:03.532 --> 00:14:06.468
Because he loves me so much, i want to learn to enjoy
00:14:06.535 --> 00:14:07.903
I want to learn to enjoy his love and be an extension,
00:14:07.970 --> 00:14:11.507
His love and be an extension, access point of his love
00:14:11.573 --> 00:14:13.676
I pray, "let my life reveal
00:14:15.077 --> 00:14:16.979
I pray, "let my life reveal the secrets of your heart,
00:14:17.046 --> 00:14:18.647
I pray, "let my life reveal the secrets of your heart, whatever it may be."
00:14:18.714 --> 00:14:19.982
James: that's what he's doing,
00:14:20.082 --> 00:14:21.684
James: that's what he's doing, and that's what
00:14:21.750 --> 00:14:22.751
James: that's what he's doing, and that's what your wife inspires.
00:14:22.818 --> 00:14:24.053
And that's what your wife inspires. aren't they
00:14:24.119 --> 00:14:25.354
Your wife inspires. aren't they a beautiful couple?
00:14:25.421 --> 00:14:26.355
Aren't they a beautiful couple? betty: they really are!
00:14:26.422 --> 00:14:27.556
As i listened to
00:14:27.656 --> 00:14:28.691
As i listened to your testimony of how
00:14:28.757 --> 00:14:30.025
As i listened to your testimony of how god has worked in your life,
00:14:30.092 --> 00:14:31.794
Your testimony of how god has worked in your life, the deliverance
00:14:31.860 --> 00:14:33.028
God has worked in your life, the deliverance he brought you,
00:14:33.095 --> 00:14:34.196
The deliverance he brought you, i was sitting here thinking
00:14:34.263 --> 00:14:35.464
He brought you, i was sitting here thinking that not everyone will
00:14:35.531 --> 00:14:36.665
I was sitting here thinking that not everyone will experience the same kind
00:14:36.732 --> 00:14:37.900
That not everyone will experience the same kind of deliverance.
00:14:37.967 --> 00:14:39.134
Experience the same kind of deliverance. god knows our hearts
00:14:39.201 --> 00:14:40.502
Of deliverance. god knows our hearts better than we do.
00:14:40.569 --> 00:14:41.770
God knows our hearts better than we do. he knows what we need
00:14:41.837 --> 00:14:43.339
Better than we do. he knows what we need for where we are.
00:14:43.405 --> 00:14:44.673
He knows what we need for where we are. it may be a striking moment
00:14:44.740 --> 00:14:47.710
For where we are. it may be a striking moment like you had on the floor
00:14:47.776 --> 00:14:49.778
It may be a striking moment like you had on the floor before him.
00:14:49.845 --> 00:14:50.913
Like you had on the floor before him. but it may be just
00:14:50.980 --> 00:14:52.314
Before him. but it may be just in the quietness of home.
00:14:52.381 --> 00:14:54.917
But it may be just in the quietness of home. many, many times,
00:14:54.984 --> 00:14:56.986
In the quietness of home. many, many times, god in my quietness,
00:14:57.052 --> 00:14:59.388
Many, many times, god in my quietness, when i take time to say,
00:14:59.455 --> 00:15:00.689
God in my quietness, when i take time to say, "god, talk to me,"
00:15:00.756 --> 00:15:02.825
When i take time to say, "god, talk to me," he brings such liberation
00:15:02.891 --> 00:15:05.361
"god, talk to me," he brings such liberation and such compassion
00:15:05.427 --> 00:15:07.229
He brings such liberation and such compassion and such love for him
00:15:07.296 --> 00:15:09.298
And such compassion and such love for him and what he wants to do
00:15:09.365 --> 00:15:10.733
And such love for him and what he wants to do through this one body,
00:15:10.799 --> 00:15:12.234
And what he wants to do through this one body, this one person.
00:15:12.301 --> 00:15:13.936
Through this one body, this one person. he wants to do so much
00:15:14.003 --> 00:15:15.204
You just yield to him
00:15:16.939 --> 00:15:19.408
You just yield to him and say, god, what
00:15:19.475 --> 00:15:20.709
And say, god, what do you see that i don't see?
00:15:20.776 --> 00:15:24.980
Do you see that i don't see? james: i want us to --
00:15:25.047 --> 00:15:26.048
James: i want us to -- i want you to hold my hand,
00:15:26.115 --> 00:15:27.249
I want you to hold my hand, betty.
00:15:27.316 --> 00:15:28.317
Betty. i want you to reach over here;
00:15:28.384 --> 00:15:29.485
I want you to reach over here; just lean toward me.
00:15:29.551 --> 00:15:30.552
Just lean toward me. i want all of you to know
00:15:30.619 --> 00:15:31.754
I want all of you to know that i want you
00:15:31.820 --> 00:15:32.821
That i want you in this circle.
00:15:32.888 --> 00:15:33.889
In this circle. i don't know what kind
00:15:33.956 --> 00:15:34.957
I don't know what kind of relationship you had
00:15:35.024 --> 00:15:36.025
Of relationship you had with your father,
00:15:36.091 --> 00:15:37.092
With your father, if you ever knew one,
00:15:37.159 --> 00:15:38.160
If you ever knew one, but you can know one.
00:15:38.227 --> 00:15:40.362
But you can know one. he loves you so much.
00:15:40.429 --> 00:15:42.431
He loves you so much. he wants you
00:15:42.498 --> 00:15:43.699
He wants you in a circle of love.
00:15:43.766 --> 00:15:45.401
In a circle of love. he wants you to help
00:15:45.467 --> 00:15:46.468
He wants you to help get his arms around
00:15:46.535 --> 00:15:47.569
Get his arms around a broken world,
00:15:47.636 --> 00:15:48.904
A broken world, a dying world,
00:15:48.971 --> 00:15:50.072
A dying world, a desperate world
00:15:50.139 --> 00:15:51.140
A desperate world he gave his son to redeem.
00:15:51.206 --> 00:15:53.175
He gave his son to redeem. he wants to heal
00:15:53.242 --> 00:15:54.309
He wants to heal your broken heart.
00:15:54.376 --> 00:15:55.644
Your broken heart. he wants to hold you.
00:15:55.711 --> 00:15:57.312
He wants to hold you. he wants to flow life
00:15:57.379 --> 00:15:58.480
He wants to flow life through you like a river.
00:15:58.547 --> 00:15:59.848
Through you like a river. father, i feel like
00:15:59.915 --> 00:16:01.617
Father, i feel like there are people trying to
00:16:01.683 --> 00:16:02.618
There are people trying to press in around this table.
00:16:02.684 --> 00:16:04.319
Press in around this table. maybe they're just
00:16:04.386 --> 00:16:05.487
Maybe they're just sitting in a public place,
00:16:05.554 --> 00:16:06.588
Sitting in a public place, but they happen to see a tv,
00:16:06.655 --> 00:16:08.424
But they happen to see a tv, or they're at home.
00:16:08.490 --> 00:16:09.525
Or they're at home. maybe they're still
00:16:09.591 --> 00:16:10.759
Maybe they're still in their pajamas.
00:16:10.826 --> 00:16:12.394
In their pajamas. there they are, but
00:16:12.461 --> 00:16:14.696
There they are, but they want to be
00:16:14.763 --> 00:16:16.065
They want to be in this circle of your love.
00:16:16.131 --> 00:16:18.267
In this circle of your love. they want your arms
00:16:18.333 --> 00:16:19.501
They want your arms around them.
00:16:19.568 --> 00:16:20.736
Around them. they want you to hold them
00:16:20.803 --> 00:16:21.837
They want you to hold them close enough to your heart
00:16:21.904 --> 00:16:23.572
Close enough to your heart that they can feel your heart,
00:16:23.639 --> 00:16:24.840
That they can feel your heart, know your heart,
00:16:24.907 --> 00:16:25.941
Know your heart, and know your mind,
00:16:26.008 --> 00:16:27.709
And know your mind, and desire to do your will.
00:16:27.776 --> 00:16:30.312
And desire to do your will. they want your kingdom
00:16:30.379 --> 00:16:31.480
They want your kingdom that has come
00:16:31.547 --> 00:16:32.748
That has come to come in them in fullness.
00:16:32.815 --> 00:16:34.883
To come in them in fullness. they want your will
00:16:34.950 --> 00:16:35.918
They want your will to be done on your earth
00:16:35.984 --> 00:16:37.853
To be done on your earth as it is in heaven.
00:16:37.920 --> 00:16:39.154
As it is in heaven. that's what
00:16:39.221 --> 00:16:40.289
That's what they're going to learn.
00:16:40.355 --> 00:16:42.191
They're going to learn. please, lord, help them
00:16:42.257 --> 00:16:43.325
Please, lord, help them say to you, father in heaven,
00:16:43.392 --> 00:16:46.762
Say to you, father in heaven, be my father forever
00:16:46.829 --> 00:16:48.764
Be my father forever and forever,
00:16:48.831 --> 00:16:50.532
And forever, and let me help live
00:16:50.599 --> 00:16:53.235
And let me help live to fulfill your dream.
00:16:53.302 --> 00:16:56.305
To fulfill your dream. i want to be your child.
00:16:56.371 --> 00:16:58.740
I want to be your child. i want you to be my father.
00:16:58.807 --> 00:17:01.443
I want you to be my father. lord, let them know
00:17:01.510 --> 00:17:02.778
Lord, let them know you will be, in jesus' name.
00:17:02.845 --> 00:17:06.115
You will be, in jesus' name. you can help fulfill
00:17:06.181 --> 00:17:09.518
You can help fulfill the perfect father's
00:17:09.585 --> 00:17:10.853
The perfect father's perfect dream.
00:17:10.919 --> 00:17:13.122
Perfect dream. not through perfection,
00:17:13.188 --> 00:17:15.257
Not through perfection, but through lifting him up
00:17:15.324 --> 00:17:17.059
But through lifting him up as lord of lords
00:17:17.126 --> 00:17:18.193
Tim, thank you!
00:17:19.761 --> 00:17:21.330
Tim, thank you! thank god for using you,
00:17:21.396 --> 00:17:22.598
Tim, thank you! thank god for using you, buddy!
00:17:22.664 --> 00:17:23.866
Thank god for using you, buddy! betty, thank you for
00:17:23.932 --> 00:17:24.967
Buddy! betty, thank you for being such a blessing to me
00:17:25.033 --> 00:17:26.201
Betty, thank you for being such a blessing to me and our family,
00:17:26.268 --> 00:17:27.736
Being such a blessing to me and our family, all the people who have
00:17:27.803 --> 00:17:29.171
And our family, all the people who have ever heard her when
00:17:29.238 --> 00:17:30.706
All the people who have ever heard her when she didn't even think
00:17:30.772 --> 00:17:31.907
Ever heard her when she didn't even think she could talk on television.
00:17:31.974 --> 00:17:33.475
She didn't even think she could talk on television. here she is.
00:17:33.542 --> 00:17:34.610
She could talk on television. here she is. she's so precious.
00:17:34.676 --> 00:17:36.078
Here she is. she's so precious. well, you are too.
00:17:36.145 --> 00:17:38.046
She's so precious. well, you are too. let him be the great father
00:17:38.113 --> 00:17:40.415
Well, you are too. let him be the great father that he wants to be
00:17:40.482 --> 00:17:41.617
Let him be the great father that he wants to be in your life,
00:17:41.683 --> 00:17:43.218
That he wants to be in your life, and let's share
00:17:43.285 --> 00:17:44.453
In your life, and let's share his kingdom message.
00:17:44.520 --> 00:17:46.555
And let's share his kingdom message. right now, we're trying,
00:17:46.622 --> 00:17:47.890
His kingdom message. right now, we're trying, with your help,
00:17:47.956 --> 00:17:49.191
And it's the only way
00:17:49.658 --> 00:17:50.893
We can do it, to feed
00:17:50.959 --> 00:17:52.094
350,000 starving children.
00:17:52.161 --> 00:17:55.364
Betty: james, the thing
00:17:55.430 --> 00:17:56.431
That blesses me so much
00:17:56.498 --> 00:17:57.533
Is when i see the lines,
00:17:57.599 --> 00:17:59.234
The children lining up
00:17:59.301 --> 00:18:00.302
To get a bowl of porridge
00:18:00.369 --> 00:18:01.904
Or whatever nutrition
00:18:01.970 --> 00:18:03.071
That they need that
00:18:03.138 --> 00:18:04.239
We've sent over there.
00:18:04.306 --> 00:18:05.908
Maybe you've helped us.
00:18:05.974 --> 00:18:07.242
You probably have.
00:18:07.309 --> 00:18:08.410
Please don't stop!
00:18:08.477 --> 00:18:09.678
These children need care.
00:18:09.745 --> 00:18:11.513
The mothers have done
00:18:11.580 --> 00:18:12.681
All they can do.
00:18:12.748 --> 00:18:13.916
They have nothing
00:18:13.982 --> 00:18:15.050
To offer them.
00:18:15.117 --> 00:18:16.552
But hopefully, we do.
00:18:16.618 --> 00:18:18.520
I hope you'll join with us,
00:18:18.587 --> 00:18:20.289
And let's feed these
00:18:20.355 --> 00:18:21.557
Precious little ones
00:18:21.623 --> 00:18:22.624
That god has given
00:18:22.691 --> 00:18:24.426
These mothers to care for.
00:18:24.493 --> 00:18:26.795
James: would you right now go
00:18:26.862 --> 00:18:28.030
And get your bank card
00:18:28.096 --> 00:18:29.298
And use it like
00:18:29.364 --> 00:18:30.365
A check, please?
00:18:30.432 --> 00:18:31.433
If you write a check,
00:18:31.500 --> 00:18:32.701
Make it to life but do it now!
00:18:32.768 --> 00:18:33.902
Call us and tell us
00:18:33.969 --> 00:18:34.970
You're mailing it.
00:18:35.037 --> 00:18:36.004
Go online and make the best
00:18:36.071 --> 00:18:37.272
Gift you possibly can.
00:18:37.339 --> 00:18:38.473
$30, $50, or $100,
00:18:38.540 --> 00:18:40.742
You feed three, five, or ten
00:18:40.809 --> 00:18:42.477
Children for the next months.
00:18:42.544 --> 00:18:44.846
Could you give $1,000
00:18:44.913 --> 00:18:46.281
Or more and feed 100?
00:18:46.348 --> 00:18:48.517
Father, please, please move
00:18:48.584 --> 00:18:51.019
Those viewing with your love,
00:18:51.086 --> 00:18:54.256
Your compassion,
00:18:54.323 --> 00:18:55.958
And your help in jesus' name.
00:18:56.024 --> 00:18:59.294
We are his hands
00:18:59.361 --> 00:19:02.264
And his arms.
00:19:02.331 --> 00:19:04.132
Would you reach out,
00:19:04.199 --> 00:19:06.034
Put his arms around
00:19:06.101 --> 00:19:07.336
Someone right now,
00:19:07.402 --> 00:19:08.837
And give them life?
00:19:08.904 --> 00:19:10.172
Please do it.
00:19:10.239 --> 00:19:11.673
Right now, across the continent of africa,
00:19:12.674 --> 00:19:15.377
Children are suffering, facing severe malnutrition,
00:19:15.377 --> 00:19:18.380
And even death.
00:19:18.380 --> 00:19:20.482
With food reserves gone,
00:19:20.482 --> 00:19:22.517
And many areas experiencing severe famine,
00:19:22.517 --> 00:19:24.553
We urgently need to replenish supplies
00:19:24.553 --> 00:19:26.989
To keep feeding the 350,000 children
00:19:26.989 --> 00:19:29.825
Who are counting on us.
00:19:29.825 --> 00:19:31.860
Through life's mission feeding outreach,
00:19:31.860 --> 00:19:33.895
Your gift of love can be an answer to prayer
00:19:33.895 --> 00:19:36.531
For a hurting and hungry child in their time of need.
00:19:36.531 --> 00:19:39.935
Call now with your life-saving gift
00:19:39.935 --> 00:19:42.070
Of $30, $50, or $100
00:19:42.070 --> 00:19:45.140
To help feed and care for three, five, or ten children
00:19:45.140 --> 00:19:48.944
For three full months.
00:19:48.944 --> 00:19:51.246
With your gift, we'll send you natural remedies.
00:19:51.246 --> 00:19:54.049
This beautifully illustrated book
00:19:54.049 --> 00:19:56.118
Explores ancient nutrition and the health benefits
00:19:56.118 --> 00:19:58.220
Found in god's creation to help you live your best life.
00:19:58.220 --> 00:20:02.324
With your gift of $100 or more,
00:20:02.324 --> 00:20:04.693
Please request your "health and wellness bundle."
00:20:04.693 --> 00:20:07.262
This three-book set includes natural remedies,
00:20:07.262 --> 00:20:09.498
As well as essential fasting, a simple eating strategy
00:20:09.498 --> 00:20:12.567
To accelerate weight loss, crush cravings,
00:20:12.567 --> 00:20:14.970
And reverse aging.
00:20:14.970 --> 00:20:17.039
And the probiotic diet that gives effective strategies
00:20:17.039 --> 00:20:19.574
To improve digestion, boost brain health,
00:20:19.574 --> 00:20:21.977
And supercharge your immune system.
00:20:21.977 --> 00:20:24.613
Finally, please consider a gift of $1,000 or more,
00:20:24.613 --> 00:20:27.883
Which will help feed 100 children,
00:20:27.883 --> 00:20:29.985
And you may request our inspiring bronze sculpture,
00:20:29.985 --> 00:20:32.387
"lion of judah."
00:20:32.387 --> 00:20:35.457
Please call, write, or make your gift online today.
00:20:35.457 --> 00:20:41.463
>> hi, i'm jordan rubin, and for over two decades,
00:20:42.497 --> 00:20:45.067
My wife nicki and i have been supporting the ministries of life.
00:20:45.067 --> 00:20:48.470
With any gift to mission feeding,
00:20:48.470 --> 00:20:50.872
You will transform the lives of 350,000 children in africa
00:20:50.872 --> 00:20:56.078
By giving them nutritious food and a hope for the future.
00:20:56.078 --> 00:20:59.981
With your gift, you'll receive a powerful wellness bundle,
00:20:59.981 --> 00:21:03.185
Which can bring the power of health and nutrition into your own home.
00:21:03.185 --> 00:21:06.822
Transform the lives of thousands
00:21:06.822 --> 00:21:09.358
And your own family. do it today.
00:21:09.358 --> 00:21:13.261
James: you know, i feel like
00:21:13.362 --> 00:21:14.796
James: you know, i feel like a lot of you are going
00:21:14.863 --> 00:21:16.064
James: you know, i feel like a lot of you are going to help us feed
00:21:16.131 --> 00:21:17.265
A lot of you are going to help us feed a lot of children. please!
00:21:17.332 --> 00:21:19.101
To help us feed a lot of children. please! would you make
00:21:19.167 --> 00:21:20.302
A lot of children. please! would you make the biggest possible gift
00:21:20.369 --> 00:21:21.470
Would you make the biggest possible gift knowing you're going
00:21:21.536 --> 00:21:22.571
The biggest possible gift knowing you're going to save lots of kids' lives?
00:21:22.637 --> 00:21:24.806
Knowing you're going to save lots of kids' lives? be an answer to a lot
00:21:24.873 --> 00:21:25.941
To save lots of kids' lives? be an answer to a lot of mothers' prayers
00:21:26.007 --> 00:21:27.109
Be an answer to a lot of mothers' prayers and heal their broken hearts.
00:21:27.175 --> 00:21:29.711
Of mothers' prayers and heal their broken hearts. i know you've enjoyed tim.
00:21:29.778 --> 00:21:33.048
And heal their broken hearts. i know you've enjoyed tim. if they wanted to write you
00:21:33.115 --> 00:21:34.549
I know you've enjoyed tim. if they wanted to write you or find out how they could
00:21:34.616 --> 00:21:35.784
If they wanted to write you or find out how they could communicate, or maybe
00:21:35.851 --> 00:21:36.918
Or find out how they could communicate, or maybe even get you to come
00:21:36.985 --> 00:21:38.053
Communicate, or maybe even get you to come speak at some function,
00:21:38.120 --> 00:21:39.588
Even get you to come speak at some function, where would they go online
00:21:39.654 --> 00:21:40.722
To find you?
00:21:40.822 --> 00:21:42.424
To find you? tim: orlandowoc.org.
00:21:42.491 --> 00:21:47.529
To find you? tim: orlandowoc.org. james: that's a mouthful!
00:21:47.596 --> 00:21:48.597
Tim: orlandowoc.org. james: that's a mouthful! so we're going to have it
00:21:48.663 --> 00:21:49.698
James: that's a mouthful! so we're going to have it on the screen.
00:21:49.765 --> 00:21:50.766
So we're going to have it on the screen. you can get it from
00:21:50.832 --> 00:21:51.833
On the screen. you can get it from the prayer center.
00:21:51.900 --> 00:21:52.901
You can get it from the prayer center. you can get it online.
00:21:52.968 --> 00:21:54.269
But, if you will help us
00:21:54.369 --> 00:21:56.438
But, if you will help us feed as many of those children
00:21:56.505 --> 00:21:58.974
But, if you will help us feed as many of those children as you can, and we have
00:21:59.040 --> 00:22:00.709
Feed as many of those children as you can, and we have the gifts from jordan rubin
00:22:00.776 --> 00:22:02.677
As you can, and we have the gifts from jordan rubin that we've told you about,
00:22:02.744 --> 00:22:04.045
The gifts from jordan rubin that we've told you about, but if you'd like
00:22:04.112 --> 00:22:05.080
That we've told you about, but if you'd like to have this book
00:22:05.147 --> 00:22:06.181
But if you'd like to have this book and you say, james,
00:22:06.248 --> 00:22:07.983
To have this book and you say, james, i can identify.
00:22:08.049 --> 00:22:09.951
And you say, james, i can identify. i sure would like to have it.
00:22:10.018 --> 00:22:11.052
I can identify. i sure would like to have it. i've got some friends
00:22:11.119 --> 00:22:12.087
I sure would like to have it. i've got some friends that need it.
00:22:12.154 --> 00:22:13.188
I've got some friends that need it. well, just help us
00:22:13.255 --> 00:22:14.423
That need it. well, just help us feed those kids, and
00:22:14.489 --> 00:22:15.791
Well, just help us feed those kids, and if you ask for the book
00:22:15.857 --> 00:22:16.825
Feed those kids, and if you ask for the book we'll send it to you.
00:22:16.892 --> 00:22:18.193
If you ask for the book we'll send it to you. i love you, buddy.
00:22:18.260 --> 00:22:19.261
We'll send it to you. i love you, buddy. tim: i love you more!
00:22:19.327 --> 00:22:20.462
I love you, buddy. tim: i love you more! james: amen. thank you!
00:22:20.529 --> 00:22:21.530
Tim: i love you more! james: amen. thank you! and we love you.
00:22:21.596 --> 00:22:24.065
James: amen. thank you! and we love you. we want to thank you
00:22:24.132 --> 00:22:25.167
And we love you. we want to thank you for helping us
00:22:25.233 --> 00:22:26.501
We want to thank you for helping us show so many people
00:22:26.568 --> 00:22:28.069
For helping us show so many people how much god loves them.
00:22:28.136 --> 00:22:29.805
Show so many people how much god loves them. thank you.
00:22:29.871 --> 00:22:31.573
How much god loves them. thank you. thank you.
00:22:31.640 --> 00:22:33.975
>> everything is good.
00:22:46.054 --> 00:22:47.789
>> everything is good. we just have to learn
00:22:47.856 --> 00:22:49.024
We just have to learn how to define good
00:22:49.090 --> 00:22:50.225
How to define good according to god.
00:22:50.292 --> 00:22:51.393
According to god. because he's the one
00:22:51.460 --> 00:22:52.594
For our good
00:22:54.696 --> 00:22:56.064
For our good and for his glory
00:22:56.131 --> 00:22:57.399
For our good and for his glory and that's what he's done
00:22:57.466 --> 00:22:58.767
And for his glory and that's what he's done from the beginning of time.
00:22:58.834 --> 00:23:00.469
And that's what he's done from the beginning of time. that's what he has done
00:23:00.535 --> 00:23:01.736
From the beginning of time. that's what he has done in my life
00:23:01.803 --> 00:23:02.938
That's what he has done in my life since i became blind.
00:23:03.004 --> 00:23:04.105
In my life since i became blind. and even
00:23:04.172 --> 00:23:05.106
Since i became blind. and even in the last few years,
00:23:05.173 --> 00:23:06.141
And even in the last few years, when i fell
00:23:06.208 --> 00:23:07.275
In the last few years, when i fell into this deep depression,
00:23:07.342 --> 00:23:08.410
When i fell into this deep depression, and honestly,
00:23:08.477 --> 00:23:09.511
Into this deep depression, and honestly, didn't think i could function.
00:23:09.578 --> 00:23:10.612
And honestly, didn't think i could function. i remember when i finally
00:23:10.679 --> 00:23:11.713
Didn't think i could function. i remember when i finally went to the doctor
00:23:11.780 --> 00:23:12.814
I remember when i finally went to the doctor because everybody who loved me
00:23:12.881 --> 00:23:13.949
Went to the doctor because everybody who loved me begged me to.
00:23:14.015 --> 00:23:15.083
Because everybody who loved me begged me to. i was disoriented
00:23:15.150 --> 00:23:16.184
Begged me to. i was disoriented all the time.
00:23:16.251 --> 00:23:17.285
I was disoriented all the time. i couldn't think clearly.
00:23:17.352 --> 00:23:18.386
All the time. i couldn't think clearly. i was weeping all the time.
00:23:18.453 --> 00:23:19.588
I couldn't think clearly. i was weeping all the time. and even physically --
00:23:19.654 --> 00:23:20.755
I was weeping all the time. and even physically -- i physically -- my body hurt.
00:23:20.822 --> 00:23:22.891
And even physically -- i physically -- my body hurt. i was just in pain, you know.
00:23:22.958 --> 00:23:24.326
I physically -- my body hurt. i was just in pain, you know. and i remember
00:23:24.392 --> 00:23:25.560
I was just in pain, you know. and i remember going to the doctor,
00:23:25.627 --> 00:23:27.896
And i remember going to the doctor, and i emptied my purse
00:23:27.963 --> 00:23:29.464
Going to the doctor, and i emptied my purse onto her table.
00:23:29.531 --> 00:23:30.732
And i emptied my purse onto her table. i had every supplement
00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:32.033
Onto her table. i had every supplement known to man.
00:23:32.100 --> 00:23:33.235
I had every supplement known to man. i had taken every herb,
00:23:33.301 --> 00:23:34.569
Known to man. i had taken every herb, every vitamin.
00:23:34.636 --> 00:23:35.904
I had taken every herb, every vitamin. she looked at it and said,
00:23:35.971 --> 00:23:37.105
Every vitamin. she looked at it and said, "i do not know
00:23:37.172 --> 00:23:38.139
She looked at it and said, "i do not know what to do with these."
00:23:38.206 --> 00:23:39.307
"i do not know what to do with these." [laughing]
00:23:39.374 --> 00:23:40.442
What to do with these." [laughing] i had such a cocktail
00:23:40.509 --> 00:23:41.576
[laughing] i had such a cocktail concoction because why?
00:23:41.643 --> 00:23:42.844
I had such a cocktail concoction because why? i was trying to fix myself.
00:23:42.911 --> 00:23:46.081
Concoction because why? i was trying to fix myself. but what happened is
00:23:46.147 --> 00:23:47.549
I was trying to fix myself. but what happened is my physical body
00:23:47.616 --> 00:23:49.184
But what happened is my physical body became so dismantled
00:23:49.251 --> 00:23:50.552
My physical body became so dismantled is it exposed some real
00:23:50.619 --> 00:23:52.220
Became so dismantled is it exposed some real broken places in my faith.
00:23:52.287 --> 00:23:54.723
Is it exposed some real broken places in my faith. and i remember
00:23:54.789 --> 00:23:57.392
Broken places in my faith. and i remember trying everything
00:23:57.459 --> 00:23:58.527
And i remember trying everything to make myself better,
00:23:58.593 --> 00:24:00.395
Trying everything to make myself better, to feel better,
00:24:00.462 --> 00:24:01.563
To make myself better, to feel better, and to say
00:24:01.630 --> 00:24:02.831
To feel better, and to say all the right things
00:24:02.898 --> 00:24:04.032
And to say all the right things and slap a happy christian
00:24:04.099 --> 00:24:05.200
All the right things and slap a happy christian bumper sticker on my pain
00:24:05.267 --> 00:24:06.468
And slap a happy christian bumper sticker on my pain so i could keep moving.
00:24:06.535 --> 00:24:08.303
Bumper sticker on my pain so i could keep moving. i tried and it wasn't working
00:24:08.370 --> 00:24:10.305
So i could keep moving. i tried and it wasn't working and i remember one day
00:24:10.372 --> 00:24:11.740
I tried and it wasn't working and i remember one day just crying out to the lord.
00:24:11.806 --> 00:24:14.276
And i remember one day just crying out to the lord. "don't you care?
00:24:14.342 --> 00:24:15.410
Just crying out to the lord. "don't you care? i mean i know you --
00:24:15.477 --> 00:24:16.611
"don't you care? i mean i know you -- maybe you only care
00:24:16.678 --> 00:24:17.646
I mean i know you -- maybe you only care about big things
00:24:17.712 --> 00:24:18.847
Maybe you only care about big things like hurricanes,
00:24:18.914 --> 00:24:19.881
About big things like hurricanes, but do you care
00:24:19.948 --> 00:24:20.982
Like hurricanes, but do you care about us little people
00:24:21.049 --> 00:24:22.083
But do you care about us little people who just want to make it
00:24:22.150 --> 00:24:23.318
About us little people who just want to make it through the day?"
00:24:23.385 --> 00:24:24.619
Who just want to make it through the day?" and i think sometimes
00:24:24.686 --> 00:24:26.187
Through the day?" and i think sometimes we ask god to care
00:24:26.254 --> 00:24:27.722
And i think sometimes we ask god to care because sometimes --
00:24:27.789 --> 00:24:29.925
We ask god to care because sometimes -- we feel like we're drowning.
00:24:29.991 --> 00:24:31.526
Because sometimes -- we feel like we're drowning. and i know for me,
00:24:31.593 --> 00:24:32.894
We feel like we're drowning. and i know for me, as i ask god, "do you care?"
00:24:32.961 --> 00:24:34.129
And i know for me, as i ask god, "do you care?" i have this recognition
00:24:34.195 --> 00:24:35.597
As i ask god, "do you care?" i have this recognition that he may not have
00:24:35.664 --> 00:24:36.965
I have this recognition that he may not have answered that question
00:24:37.032 --> 00:24:38.800
That he may not have answered that question with words
00:24:38.867 --> 00:24:39.868
Answered that question with words that i could understand
00:24:39.935 --> 00:24:41.202
With words that i could understand but he answered that question
00:24:41.269 --> 00:24:42.504
That i could understand but he answered that question for me just like he did
00:24:42.571 --> 00:24:43.805
But he answered that question for me just like he did for the disciples,
00:24:43.872 --> 00:24:45.040
For me just like he did for the disciples, through his presence.
00:24:45.106 --> 00:24:46.174
For the disciples, through his presence. he was in the boat.
00:24:46.241 --> 00:24:47.342
Through his presence. he was in the boat. he is a god of compassion.
00:24:47.409 --> 00:24:48.710
He was in the boat. he is a god of compassion. he doesn't stand on the shore
00:24:48.777 --> 00:24:49.978
He is a god of compassion. he doesn't stand on the shore and wave to us and say,
00:24:50.045 --> 00:24:51.079
He doesn't stand on the shore and wave to us and say, "hope you make it!"
00:24:51.146 --> 00:24:52.347
And wave to us and say, "hope you make it!" he's in the boat with us.
00:24:52.414 --> 00:24:54.215
"hope you make it!" he's in the boat with us. and sometimes
00:24:54.282 --> 00:24:55.383
He's in the boat with us. and sometimes that very storm that we think
00:24:55.450 --> 00:24:56.718
And sometimes that very storm that we think is going to take us under,
00:24:56.785 --> 00:24:59.220
That very storm that we think is going to take us under, those deep waters
00:24:59.287 --> 00:25:00.422
Is going to take us under, those deep waters that he's allowing us
00:25:00.488 --> 00:25:01.590
Those deep waters that he's allowing us to go through,
00:25:01.656 --> 00:25:02.824
That he's allowing us to go through, they're not to drown us!
00:25:02.891 --> 00:25:04.492
To go through, they're not to drown us! often,
00:25:04.559 --> 00:25:05.827
They're not to drown us! often, i believe god allows us to go
00:25:05.894 --> 00:25:07.095
Often, i believe god allows us to go through those deep waters
00:25:07.162 --> 00:25:08.296
I believe god allows us to go through those deep waters so he can cleanse us.
00:25:08.363 --> 00:25:10.231
Through those deep waters so he can cleanse us. i went up to my piano
00:25:10.298 --> 00:25:11.566
So he can cleanse us. i went up to my piano and i began to ask god
00:25:11.633 --> 00:25:12.801
I went up to my piano and i began to ask god those questions.
00:25:12.867 --> 00:25:14.069
And i began to ask god those questions. "god, do you not care?"
00:25:14.135 --> 00:25:16.571
Those questions. "god, do you not care?" and it was if,
00:25:16.638 --> 00:25:18.006
"god, do you not care?" and it was if, while i was playing the piano,
00:25:18.073 --> 00:25:19.741
And it was if, while i was playing the piano, this image of a cross
00:25:19.808 --> 00:25:22.077
While i was playing the piano, this image of a cross appeared in my mind's eye.
00:25:22.143 --> 00:25:24.679
This image of a cross appeared in my mind's eye. and as i was asking
00:25:24.746 --> 00:25:26.414
Appeared in my mind's eye. and as i was asking those questions,
00:25:26.481 --> 00:25:27.849
And as i was asking those questions, "why cancer?"
00:25:27.916 --> 00:25:29.317
Those questions, "why cancer?" "why stillborn babies?"
00:25:29.384 --> 00:25:30.752
"why cancer?" "why stillborn babies?" "why blindness?"
00:25:30.819 --> 00:25:32.988
"why stillborn babies?" "why blindness?" i looked at the cross
00:25:33.054 --> 00:25:34.322
"why blindness?" i looked at the cross and i asked,
00:25:34.389 --> 00:25:35.657
I looked at the cross and i asked, "why grace?"
00:25:35.724 --> 00:25:37.092
And i asked, "why grace?" "why forgiveness?"
00:25:37.158 --> 00:25:39.394
"why grace?" "why forgiveness?" "why peace?"
00:25:39.461 --> 00:25:41.262
"why forgiveness?" "why peace?" we really don't deserve
00:25:41.329 --> 00:25:42.564
"why peace?" we really don't deserve any of those things.
00:25:42.631 --> 00:25:43.999
We really don't deserve any of those things. but god, in his mercy,
00:25:44.065 --> 00:25:45.367
Any of those things. but god, in his mercy, has given us those things.
00:25:45.433 --> 00:25:46.801
But god, in his mercy, has given us those things. and i believe
00:25:46.868 --> 00:25:48.236
Has given us those things. and i believe that when we go to the cross
00:25:48.303 --> 00:25:49.471
And i believe that when we go to the cross with our questions,
00:25:49.537 --> 00:25:50.739
That when we go to the cross with our questions, and with our tears,
00:25:50.805 --> 00:25:51.973
With our questions, and with our tears, we go to that one place
00:25:52.040 --> 00:25:53.274
And with our tears, we go to that one place where the true mystery
00:25:53.341 --> 00:25:54.743
We go to that one place where the true mystery of faith exists.
00:25:54.809 --> 00:25:56.978
Where the true mystery of faith exists. why does god love us?
00:25:57.045 --> 00:25:58.813
Of faith exists. why does god love us? why does he carry us?
00:25:58.880 --> 00:26:00.148
Why does god love us? why does he carry us? why did he cry our tears?
00:26:00.215 --> 00:26:01.483
Why does he carry us? why did he cry our tears? why did he bear our pain?
00:26:01.549 --> 00:26:02.817
Why did he cry our tears? why did he bear our pain? because he does care.
00:26:02.884 --> 00:26:04.285
♪ in the mystery ♪
00:26:05.286 --> 00:26:07.288
♪ we trust and we adjust ♪
00:26:07.288 --> 00:26:10.892
♪ and we wonder why ♪
00:26:10.892 --> 00:26:16.364
♪ oh, take me to the cross ♪
00:26:17.132 --> 00:26:21.703
♪ and cry each of my tears ♪
00:26:21.703 --> 00:26:24.973
♪ i am in your tomb ♪
00:26:24.973 --> 00:26:28.610
♪ crucify my fears ♪
00:26:28.610 --> 00:26:32.947
♪ i'll praise you with my pain ♪
00:26:32.947 --> 00:26:37.285
♪ though the mystery remains ♪
00:26:37.285 --> 00:26:40.488
♪ that you are a god who cries ♪
00:26:40.488 --> 00:26:45.994
♪ you are a savior who died ♪
00:26:45.994 --> 00:26:51.900
♪ we can trust you with why ♪
00:26:51.900 --> 00:27:00.809
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Tim Johnson - The Hole In My Soul

June 2, 2025 | S25:E147

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