1. TBN
  2. Programs
  3. Praise
  4. Episodes
  5. Scott Hannen: Anthony Marullo Testimony | Praise
Praise

Scott Hannen: Anthony Marullo Testimony | Praise

November 24, 2025 | 54:16

Scott Hannen: Anthony Marullo Testimony | Praise
Hosted by TBN’s own Matt and Laurie Crouch along with other popular personalities, Praise features the best in contemporary Christian music and worship, fresh and impacting ministry voices, engaging interviews from a wide variety of guests, and a fast-moving hour of relevant talk you won’t want to miss!
#Testimony #Pain #Hurting #Suicide #Depression #Overwhelming #Trials-HardTimes #Healing #Salvation #Overcoming #MattCrouch #LaurieCrouch

Closed captions

Show Timecode
Praise | Scott Hannen: Anthony Marullo Testimony | Praise | November 24, 2025
  • >> 53 years ago. paul and jan crouch stepped out in faith and
  • 00:00:07.664 --> 00:00:12.870
  • Started tbn with a vision of a 24 hour a day network for god's
  • 00:00:12.870 --> 00:00:17.107
  • People. that first tiny station grew, and the network expanded
  • 00:00:17.107 --> 00:00:21.512
  • Across the nation and then around the world. messages of
  • 00:00:21.512 --> 00:00:25.482
  • Healing, hope, and salvation went across the airwaves to
  • 00:00:25.482 --> 00:00:29.353
  • Millions of people, and many heard the news of god's love
  • 00:00:29.353 --> 00:00:32.856
  • For them for the very first time through the work of the
  • 00:00:32.856 --> 00:00:36.193
  • Holy spirit. mass media was transformed into a life
  • 00:00:36.193 --> 00:00:39.496
  • Changing message just for them.
  • 00:00:39.496 --> 00:00:44.034
  • >> depression is a real thing and depression is just as real
  • 00:00:44.034 --> 00:00:48.272
  • As your broken arm. it's just like a broken brain.
  • 00:00:48.272 --> 00:00:51.008
  • >> i had been through a lot in my life, but my mother, who was
  • 00:00:51.008 --> 00:00:56.980
  • My hero in so many ways, she ended up passing away. i don't
  • 00:00:56.980 --> 00:01:01.418
  • Think there's anything that could have prepared me to deal
  • 00:01:01.418 --> 00:01:03.921
  • With that. i went off the rails. i was going through a divorce,
  • 00:01:03.921 --> 00:01:08.258
  • Made some very poor decisions, and had come to the conclusion
  • 00:01:08.258 --> 00:01:14.932
  • That i was worth more dead than alive. when you're really
  • 00:01:14.932 --> 00:01:18.535
  • Depressed, you almost can't feel anything. so i could feel
  • 00:01:18.535 --> 00:01:23.240
  • The steel of the firearm. i could feel the coldness of it.
  • 00:01:23.240 --> 00:01:28.245
  • There were these voices talking to me. you have nothing left.
  • 00:01:28.245 --> 00:01:32.316
  • You're horrible. you're. you're nothing. you're no one now. the
  • 00:01:32.316 --> 00:01:36.887
  • Voices kept getting louder and louder and louder. and then i
  • 00:01:36.887 --> 00:01:42.092
  • Keep having these flashbacks. i'm just. just want these
  • 00:01:42.092 --> 00:01:46.663
  • Voices to stop. so i grab the remote. and turn on the
  • 00:01:46.663 --> 00:01:54.505
  • Television.
  • 00:01:54.505 --> 00:01:55.639
  • >> because part of you, you just feel like giving up.
  • 00:01:55.639 --> 00:01:58.408
  • You're tired. that fight is gone. and i want to help you to
  • 00:01:58.408 --> 00:02:01.979
  • Restore the fight again. now you have to know that when the
  • 00:02:01.979 --> 00:02:07.451
  • Bible says.
  • 00:02:07.451 --> 00:02:13.624
  • >> there is a convergence of things that are happening here,
  • 00:02:13.624 --> 00:02:20.130
  • And it has to do with tbn, has to do with testimony and
  • 00:02:20.130 --> 00:02:26.904
  • Testimonies, it has to do with scott preying on the air, and
  • 00:02:26.904 --> 00:02:32.176
  • It has to do with anthony. a very dark time in your life
  • 00:02:32.176 --> 00:02:38.882
  • That we're going to get to. we're going to explain all this.
  • 00:02:38.882 --> 00:02:43.120
  • Scott helped me. i'm passing the baton to you just for a
  • 00:02:43.120 --> 00:02:46.757
  • Second, but our story starts a few years ago when you and i
  • 00:02:46.757 --> 00:02:51.828
  • Were sitting, you had just written a new book called stop
  • 00:02:51.828 --> 00:02:55.165
  • The pain. yeah. okay. and pain comes in a lot of different
  • 00:02:55.165 --> 00:03:01.138
  • Packages and things. why don't you pick up from about there?
  • 00:03:01.138 --> 00:03:04.808
  • >> you said it best. pain comes in a lot of packages. and if
  • 00:03:04.808 --> 00:03:09.079
  • You understand pain, like we were doing the stop the pain, i
  • 00:03:09.079 --> 00:03:12.649
  • Went through all the pain mechanisms. what causes pain?
  • 00:03:12.649 --> 00:03:14.751
  • How to stop the pain? you know, things we can do, things we
  • 00:03:14.751 --> 00:03:18.622
  • Need to stop doing. but more importantly, i want to talk
  • 00:03:18.622 --> 00:03:21.525
  • About pain itself because pain is nothing more than an
  • 00:03:21.525 --> 00:03:25.329
  • Experience. just like you experience god, you experience
  • 00:03:25.329 --> 00:03:27.664
  • Pain. and pain comes from receptors. it comes from some
  • 00:03:27.664 --> 00:03:31.768
  • Form of stimulation. it can be good or it can be bad. okay, so
  • 00:03:31.768 --> 00:03:36.106
  • When it affects somebody, usually someone seeks some type
  • 00:03:36.106 --> 00:03:40.110
  • Of relief. so it's real easy, matt, when we're talking about,
  • 00:03:40.110 --> 00:03:44.248
  • You know my knee hurts. okay great. we're going to take this
  • 00:03:44.248 --> 00:03:48.085
  • Do that, adjust this. you know put a shot in that. whatever.
  • 00:03:48.085 --> 00:03:53.290
  • Everybody gets that. and the pain that i see people when
  • 00:03:53.290 --> 00:03:56.126
  • They limp. yeah i got a knee injury. very simple to see.
  • 00:03:56.126 --> 00:04:00.864
  • When someone breaks their arm. they have a cast. oh, yeah.
  • 00:04:00.864 --> 00:04:04.234
  • He's injured. he's wounded. they get special treatment.
  • 00:04:04.234 --> 00:04:07.070
  • People, you know, go out of their way to open doors for
  • 00:04:07.070 --> 00:04:09.940
  • Them, help them. but there's another kind of pain that's
  • 00:04:09.940 --> 00:04:12.743
  • Inside of a human being. i see your arm. i see your knee. i
  • 00:04:12.743 --> 00:04:17.180
  • Can't see your heart. and i can't see your mind. see?
  • 00:04:17.180 --> 00:04:21.118
  • You're smiling. you're still going to work. you're still
  • 00:04:21.118 --> 00:04:24.521
  • Doing everything. the problem is on the ride home. you're
  • 00:04:24.521 --> 00:04:27.257
  • Falling apart. and that's where these people live. so no one
  • 00:04:27.257 --> 00:04:30.861
  • Sees their pain. so no one's offering help because they
  • 00:04:30.861 --> 00:04:34.131
  • Can't see it. i'll open the door for you. if i see the cast
  • 00:04:34.131 --> 00:04:38.101
  • On your arm. i can't see the cast on your brain. right. so
  • 00:04:38.101 --> 00:04:40.971
  • Therefore, i'm going to keep talking to you the way i've
  • 00:04:40.971 --> 00:04:43.874
  • Always talked to you. i'm not going to cut you any slack. you
  • 00:04:43.874 --> 00:04:47.678
  • See what i mean? and most of the time, people have to. i
  • 00:04:47.678 --> 00:04:50.080
  • Don't want to use the wrong term here, but they have too
  • 00:04:50.080 --> 00:04:52.983
  • Much pride, or they don't want to burden people so they don't
  • 00:04:52.983 --> 00:04:56.653
  • Share their broken brain. there's three things.
  • 00:04:56.653 --> 00:04:58.989
  • Depression is a real thing, and depression is just as real as
  • 00:04:58.989 --> 00:05:03.360
  • Your broken arm. it's just like a broken brain. now there is a
  • 00:05:03.360 --> 00:05:06.797
  • Clinical depression where you've had some form of a
  • 00:05:06.797 --> 00:05:08.999
  • Trauma, like a head trauma. you might have had some significant
  • 00:05:08.999 --> 00:05:12.102
  • Loss or some significant emotional trauma, you know,
  • 00:05:12.102 --> 00:05:14.871
  • Etc. chemical imbalance. but you're looking at about maybe 1
  • 00:05:14.871 --> 00:05:19.509
  • To 2% of all depression is clinical depression. wow. now
  • 00:05:19.509 --> 00:05:22.212
  • The other two is the two i want to talk about. one is called
  • 00:05:22.212 --> 00:05:26.883
  • Suppression. the other one is called oppression. and they
  • 00:05:26.883 --> 00:05:30.387
  • Both mimic depression and they actually put you in depression.
  • 00:05:30.387 --> 00:05:33.357
  • So the first one suppression that one's easy. we talk about
  • 00:05:33.357 --> 00:05:36.326
  • That on the shows all the time. that one's simply this. it
  • 00:05:36.326 --> 00:05:40.330
  • Means to prohibit a body function. so what's functioning
  • 00:05:40.330 --> 00:05:42.466
  • Normal. everything's you've got plenty of energy. your brain's
  • 00:05:42.466 --> 00:05:45.168
  • Good. you're lit up. it's hard to be depressed. but when you
  • 00:05:45.168 --> 00:05:49.339
  • Make bad choices, you know, you eat wrong things. you're doing
  • 00:05:49.339 --> 00:05:53.243
  • These things for relief, like drugs. and, you know, then you
  • 00:05:53.243 --> 00:05:57.481
  • Start to be suppressed. and after your function is
  • 00:05:57.481 --> 00:05:59.916
  • Suppressed, your brain is suppressed. and now you are
  • 00:05:59.916 --> 00:06:03.653
  • Depressed. okay. then there's another form called oppression.
  • 00:06:03.653 --> 00:06:07.324
  • It means to be weighed down with the cares of life. that's
  • 00:06:07.324 --> 00:06:09.960
  • What it means. so the things that drive pain in someone's
  • 00:06:09.960 --> 00:06:13.730
  • Life are coming from another part of them besides their
  • 00:06:13.730 --> 00:06:16.299
  • Spirit. but the one who makes the choice is in the middle. so
  • 00:06:16.299 --> 00:06:21.037
  • What we got to do is we got to get this guy in the middle.
  • 00:06:21.037 --> 00:06:25.409
  • Spending more time over here with the things of the spirit.
  • 00:06:25.409 --> 00:06:27.878
  • Now i just read some alarming stats. i was looking actually,
  • 00:06:27.878 --> 00:06:31.381
  • I think the latest ones came out for two 20, 23. they were
  • 00:06:31.381 --> 00:06:35.886
  • Staggering. 49,000 people committed suicide that year.
  • 00:06:35.886 --> 00:06:39.189
  • And you think, well, that's a lot of people. but wow, thought
  • 00:06:39.189 --> 00:06:42.159
  • That number would have been higher. you need to dig a
  • 00:06:42.159 --> 00:06:45.128
  • Little deeper. 12.8 million seriously considered it. oh wow.
  • 00:06:45.128 --> 00:06:52.235
  • 12.8 million okay. 3.7 million. actually made a plan to do it.
  • 00:06:52.235 --> 00:06:58.975
  • They were serious and they actually planned it out, was
  • 00:06:58.975 --> 00:07:02.012
  • Ready to do it. and then you have 1.5 million that actually
  • 00:07:02.012 --> 00:07:05.048
  • Attempted it, but they didn't achieve it. so these stats are
  • 00:07:05.048 --> 00:07:09.820
  • Staggering. and it's all because of what's going on in
  • 00:07:09.820 --> 00:07:15.492
  • The heart of a man and that soul. like i said, it's caught
  • 00:07:15.492 --> 00:07:20.130
  • In between the two. supression oppression and depression. and
  • 00:07:20.130 --> 00:07:25.602
  • So, you know, in a moment, we're going to get to hear your
  • 00:07:25.602 --> 00:07:29.139
  • Testimony. and what's so exciting about a testimony is,
  • 00:07:29.139 --> 00:07:32.976
  • You know, the bible says the testimony of jesus is the
  • 00:07:32.976 --> 00:07:36.012
  • Spirit of prophecy. it's the power of god that releases the
  • 00:07:36.012 --> 00:07:40.116
  • Power of god into an environment in order to create
  • 00:07:40.116 --> 00:07:43.820
  • A desired change of the lord. if it's something god wants to
  • 00:07:43.820 --> 00:07:47.190
  • Do for his purpose, or the covenant of god, or anything to
  • 00:07:47.190 --> 00:07:50.927
  • Do with what god is wanting to do with that person or with
  • 00:07:50.927 --> 00:07:54.164
  • That group at the time. that spirit of prophecy is released,
  • 00:07:54.164 --> 00:07:57.834
  • But it's released through a testimony. that's why we're
  • 00:07:57.834 --> 00:08:01.805
  • Made overcomers by the blood of the lamb and the word of our
  • 00:08:01.805 --> 00:08:05.742
  • Testimony. now, that word i like the word testimony because
  • 00:08:05.742 --> 00:08:11.014
  • It literally means a legal precedent, but it also means
  • 00:08:11.014 --> 00:08:16.419
  • Evidence. so it is a legal precedent, which means in the
  • 00:08:16.419 --> 00:08:19.823
  • Courtroom of god, it has authority, it is evidence. and
  • 00:08:19.823 --> 00:08:24.961
  • I like what bill johnson teaches. he actually says that.
  • 00:08:24.961 --> 00:08:28.298
  • Is it akin to a hebrew root word from that word that
  • 00:08:28.298 --> 00:08:33.370
  • Literally means to do it again. so this is the evidence. when i
  • 00:08:33.370 --> 00:08:38.275
  • Get, okay, this is what happened to me. so here's the
  • 00:08:38.275 --> 00:08:42.512
  • Evidence. so now god is saying, take that. and those who are
  • 00:08:42.512 --> 00:08:46.249
  • Listening, i want to do it again, but i want to do it
  • 00:08:46.249 --> 00:08:51.388
  • Through you. i want to do it through you, and i want to do
  • 00:08:51.388 --> 00:08:54.090
  • It through you.
  • 00:08:54.090 --> 00:08:55.325
  • >> he said, mrs. mckinnon, you have a brain aneurysm and you
  • 00:08:55.325 --> 00:08:58.328
  • Are going to die.
  • 00:08:58.328 --> 00:08:59.896
  • >> there was a lot of violence in my home, and that's all i
  • 00:08:59.896 --> 00:09:04.034
  • Knew.
  • 00:09:04.034 --> 00:09:05.168
  • >> he left us. and then you don't know how you're going to
  • 00:09:05.268 --> 00:09:08.004
  • Feed those kids.
  • 00:09:08.004 --> 00:09:09.372
  • >> i felt so hopeless and so alone. i just tried to drown
  • 00:09:09.372 --> 00:09:13.109
  • The pain of losing my father.
  • 00:09:13.109 --> 00:09:16.179
  • >> and someone sent me a clip from tbn.
  • 00:09:16.179 --> 00:09:19.816
  • >> finding tbn was like a refuge. it was like a lifeboat.
  • 00:09:19.816 --> 00:09:23.954
  • >> i hear this message that there's a god that loves me,
  • 00:09:23.954 --> 00:09:27.223
  • And there's a god that knows exactly what i'm going through.
  • 00:09:27.223 --> 00:09:30.160
  • >> the programs on tbn was telling me that i'm saved, that
  • 00:09:30.160 --> 00:09:34.030
  • I'm chosen, that i'm blessed, that i'm free already.
  • 00:09:34.030 --> 00:09:36.967
  • >> it gave me the ability to know i have to get up from here
  • 00:09:36.967 --> 00:09:41.237
  • And go on.
  • 00:09:41.237 --> 00:09:45.375
  • >> it meant the world to me.
  • 00:09:45.375 --> 00:09:49.613
  • >> the gospel of jesus broadcast directly into homes,
  • 00:09:49.613 --> 00:09:54.117
  • Helped build faith in god, doing the impossible, and
  • 00:09:54.117 --> 00:09:56.953
  • Produced a myriad of miracles from the very first days of tbn,
  • 00:09:56.953 --> 00:10:01.858
  • Testimonies poured in with astounding stories of lives
  • 00:10:01.858 --> 00:10:05.228
  • Radically and miraculously changed. tonight, we'll hear an
  • 00:10:05.228 --> 00:10:09.566
  • Unbelievable testimony of hope, miracles, and salvation that
  • 00:10:09.566 --> 00:10:14.137
  • Changed one man forever.
  • 00:10:14.137 --> 00:10:16.973
  • >> so there's these converging things that are all happening
  • 00:10:16.973 --> 00:10:22.345
  • Here. scott, you and laurie and i were doing a tv program a few
  • 00:10:22.345 --> 00:10:29.285
  • Years ago, and you're praying for stopping the pain. we've
  • 00:10:29.285 --> 00:10:36.126
  • Done that many times. there's many people that have seen you
  • 00:10:36.126 --> 00:10:41.898
  • Look into the camera and pray. i perceive most of the time, or
  • 00:10:41.898 --> 00:10:48.038
  • The way my brain is hearing it is knees, ankles, shoulder
  • 00:10:48.038 --> 00:10:53.009
  • Blades. you know, i've got a crick in my neck or that kind
  • 00:10:53.009 --> 00:10:56.046
  • Of thing, or more severely, people that don't eat right. so
  • 00:10:56.046 --> 00:11:01.284
  • They have oxidation and so they have a lot of pain. and so it
  • 00:11:01.284 --> 00:11:05.989
  • Was a few years ago that that broadcast is on the air. and
  • 00:11:05.989 --> 00:11:13.897
  • That's where now we kind of run into anthony.
  • 00:11:13.897 --> 00:11:17.967
  • >> i wouldn't be here today sitting here if it wasn't for
  • 00:11:17.967 --> 00:11:21.871
  • Tbn. and you, doctor scott and i know the glories for god, but
  • 00:11:21.871 --> 00:11:28.044
  • He's doing something very special. and i saw you when we
  • 00:11:28.044 --> 00:11:32.916
  • Got here. i ran into you pretty quickly in the hallway, and
  • 00:11:32.916 --> 00:11:38.021
  • It's just. thank you. thank you. yes, i was with the earth.
  • 00:11:38.021 --> 00:11:47.697
  • Would consider very successful from the outside. i ate a lot
  • 00:11:47.697 --> 00:11:52.168
  • Of food, but i never fed my soul. and i would use my wealth
  • 00:11:52.168 --> 00:11:59.943
  • And status and success to cover what was missing inside of me,
  • 00:11:59.943 --> 00:12:07.484
  • Which was jesus christ. and no matter what i did, i could
  • 00:12:07.484 --> 00:12:14.624
  • Never get the cup filled up, so to speak. you know, i thought
  • 00:12:14.624 --> 00:12:19.229
  • If i if i thought if i, you know, if i buy a private plane
  • 00:12:19.229 --> 00:12:23.733
  • That's going to do it, i'm going to feel whole. did that
  • 00:12:23.733 --> 00:12:27.137
  • And then went on to number two. empty. empty as ever on the
  • 00:12:27.137 --> 00:12:31.174
  • Inside. wow. and i said, you know what? if i get shopping
  • 00:12:31.174 --> 00:12:36.179
  • Centers on this specific street, that's going to do it for me?
  • 00:12:36.179 --> 00:12:42.118
  • No, didn't do it for me. anything i tried just did not
  • 00:12:42.118 --> 00:12:48.024
  • Do it for me. and it got to a point where the house of cards,
  • 00:12:48.024 --> 00:12:55.098
  • So to speak, came crumbling down.
  • 00:12:55.098 --> 00:12:57.934
  • >> some things started kind of unraveling for you. start start
  • 00:12:57.934 --> 00:13:04.274
  • Walking us down through that portion of your story.
  • 00:13:04.274 --> 00:13:07.410
  • >> so my mother, who was my everything still is my
  • 00:13:07.410 --> 00:13:13.850
  • Everything. she was my guiding star, my sunshine. just an
  • 00:13:13.850 --> 00:13:22.058
  • Amazing woman. she was about five foot four, brunet. she
  • 00:13:22.058 --> 00:13:27.063
  • Could sing like an angel and she got sick. and it was
  • 00:13:27.063 --> 00:13:34.838
  • Devastating for me. didn't know how to deal with that level of
  • 00:13:34.838 --> 00:13:40.310
  • Grief. i had been through a lot in my life, but my mother, who
  • 00:13:40.310 --> 00:13:47.951
  • Was my hero in so many ways, i don't think there's anything
  • 00:13:47.951 --> 00:13:52.222
  • That could have prepared me to to deal with that. so. in a
  • 00:13:52.222 --> 00:13:58.795
  • Nutshell, when she ended up passing away, i didn't know
  • 00:13:58.795 --> 00:14:04.033
  • Jesus christ yet. i didn't know my lord and savior, yet. i
  • 00:14:04.033 --> 00:14:07.937
  • Wasn't saved yet. my mother, in a sense, was my savior. and i
  • 00:14:07.937 --> 00:14:14.944
  • Just, for lack of a better term, i went off the rails for three
  • 00:14:14.944 --> 00:14:20.516
  • Months. i was going through a divorce, made some very poor
  • 00:14:20.516 --> 00:14:27.090
  • Decisions, and had come to the conclusion that it was i was
  • 00:14:27.090 --> 00:14:32.362
  • Worth more dead than alive, and i always loved the mountains. i
  • 00:14:32.362 --> 00:14:38.067
  • Never actually spent time in the mountains. there was just
  • 00:14:38.067 --> 00:14:41.037
  • Something about the mountains to me that was, you know,
  • 00:14:41.037 --> 00:14:44.607
  • Mystical and special. and i told myself, i said, before i
  • 00:14:44.607 --> 00:14:48.978
  • Do this, i want to see the mountains. so i picked up a map
  • 00:14:48.978 --> 00:14:55.418
  • And put my finger just randomly, a little bit north of georgia,
  • 00:14:55.418 --> 00:14:59.355
  • Because it was driving distance. and i landed on a little city
  • 00:14:59.355 --> 00:15:03.326
  • Called blue ridge, georgia, and drove there from new orleans
  • 00:15:03.326 --> 00:15:09.732
  • Straight to blue ridge. and essentially when i got there. i
  • 00:15:09.732 --> 00:15:18.341
  • Almost could feel my mother's presence.
  • 00:15:18.341 --> 00:15:20.476
  • >> wow.
  • 00:15:20.476 --> 00:15:22.111
  • >> there's one church in that little town. actually. there's
  • 00:15:22.111 --> 00:15:26.215
  • Two. there's one. my mother was catholic. there's one catholic
  • 00:15:26.215 --> 00:15:30.119
  • Church in the name of it's saint anthony's. so i. but it
  • 00:15:30.119 --> 00:15:36.025
  • Still wasn't enough. i had the lord tried to grab me plenty of
  • 00:15:36.025 --> 00:15:40.730
  • Times.
  • 00:15:40.730 --> 00:15:41.798
  • >> yeah.
  • 00:15:41.798 --> 00:15:42.966
  • >> plenty of times. so i do my thing. i visit the mountains,
  • 00:15:43.066 --> 00:15:47.136
  • Do some things i want to do, and i get that out the way, so
  • 00:15:47.136 --> 00:15:54.077
  • To speak, and get ready to kill myself with my nine millimeter.
  • 00:15:54.077 --> 00:16:01.184
  • You know, during the day you could see the mountains, you
  • 00:16:01.184 --> 00:16:04.320
  • Can see the sun, but it felt very isolating. so here i am.
  • 00:16:04.320 --> 00:16:08.024
  • It's dark outside. i'm sitting on the couch and i start
  • 00:16:08.024 --> 00:16:14.731
  • Reminiscing and almost having flashbacks about my life. the
  • 00:16:14.731 --> 00:16:20.203
  • Television was right in front of me, and i had my nine
  • 00:16:20.203 --> 00:16:26.109
  • Millimeter right here on my lap, and i'm just kind of going
  • 00:16:26.109 --> 00:16:31.514
  • Through my life, you know, certain memories, i'd say,
  • 00:16:31.514 --> 00:16:35.051
  • Going through my life. what i mean is traumatic portions of
  • 00:16:35.051 --> 00:16:39.255
  • My life. and i would sit, i sat there, i kept looking down at
  • 00:16:39.255 --> 00:16:46.062
  • My nine millimeter. i would keep checking to see if it was
  • 00:16:46.062 --> 00:16:50.833
  • Loaded. and as i sat there, the very first memory that came to
  • 00:16:50.833 --> 00:16:57.640
  • Mind was when i was five years old. i was a five year old
  • 00:16:57.640 --> 00:17:02.678
  • Little boy and didn't really get a lot of quality or one on
  • 00:17:02.678 --> 00:17:08.051
  • One attention from my my parents. the best way i can
  • 00:17:08.051 --> 00:17:12.021
  • Describe it is my dad was what you would call an earthly king.
  • 00:17:12.021 --> 00:17:17.093
  • You know, he was definitely not serving the man upstairs. my
  • 00:17:17.093 --> 00:17:21.697
  • Mother was always trying to serve the man upstairs. there
  • 00:17:21.697 --> 00:17:25.068
  • Was constant chaos, constant toxicity, constant highs and
  • 00:17:25.068 --> 00:17:31.641
  • Lows. and so as i'm sitting there with, with my pistol, the
  • 00:17:31.641 --> 00:17:36.212
  • First memory that came to my mind was when a trusted family
  • 00:17:36.212 --> 00:17:42.452
  • Friend who's an older male, paid some attention to me. and
  • 00:17:42.452 --> 00:17:47.123
  • In my little bitty five year old brain, it was wonderful. so
  • 00:17:47.123 --> 00:17:53.129
  • I thought, and he he said, anthony, do you want to go to
  • 00:17:53.129 --> 00:18:00.036
  • My secret special place? i said, that sounds that sounds
  • 00:18:00.036 --> 00:18:05.575
  • Wonderful. yes. you know, what is this secret, special place?
  • 00:18:05.575 --> 00:18:11.047
  • So he said, look, just follow me. he he said, there's no
  • 00:18:11.047 --> 00:18:16.886
  • Rules in the secret special place. he said, there's only
  • 00:18:16.886 --> 00:18:20.289
  • One rule. you can't tell anyone about the secret special place.
  • 00:18:20.289 --> 00:18:26.195
  • But you can do anything else you want in this place. so he
  • 00:18:26.195 --> 00:18:29.732
  • Proceeded to walk me to my father's office, and the secret
  • 00:18:29.732 --> 00:18:34.904
  • Special place was the closet that was on the right hand side
  • 00:18:34.904 --> 00:18:39.809
  • Of this room. and i'll never forget it started very kind. he
  • 00:18:39.809 --> 00:18:45.081
  • Was very inquisitive on me, wanted to, you know, asking,
  • 00:18:45.081 --> 00:18:50.153
  • You know, questions about me, complimenting me. and so i'm
  • 00:18:50.153 --> 00:18:55.758
  • Thinking, this is great. he even would have, you know, you
  • 00:18:55.758 --> 00:18:59.428
  • Hear about this in movies, candy. and in this place. and
  • 00:18:59.428 --> 00:19:03.032
  • So it started kind of very gradual, you know, praising me,
  • 00:19:03.032 --> 00:19:08.004
  • Complimenting me. and then it started escalating. and he
  • 00:19:08.004 --> 00:19:13.809
  • Would say, look, we can take our clothes off in this secret,
  • 00:19:13.809 --> 00:19:17.046
  • Special place. and so he said, look, see what it feels like.
  • 00:19:17.046 --> 00:19:20.049
  • So he would take his shirt off. go ahead, take yours off. and
  • 00:19:20.049 --> 00:19:23.886
  • As i undressed myself, he kept complimenting me on how, you
  • 00:19:23.886 --> 00:19:30.259
  • Know, good looking i was and just, you know, laying it on
  • 00:19:30.259 --> 00:19:36.032
  • Thick and and this moment i could, you know, i could sense
  • 00:19:36.032 --> 00:19:40.870
  • Something wasn't right. so as, as i sat on that couch in blue
  • 00:19:40.870 --> 00:19:48.044
  • Ridge, there was a feeling. and if i could bottle it and
  • 00:19:48.044 --> 00:19:50.913
  • Capture it, i would call it frozen. wow. i almost felt
  • 00:19:50.913 --> 00:19:57.420
  • Frozen. like i couldn't move. and that's how i felt in that
  • 00:19:57.420 --> 00:20:03.192
  • Cabin in that moment. while i'm having these flashbacks. and so
  • 00:20:03.192 --> 00:20:08.064
  • Things escalated. it was so severe that when it was over,
  • 00:20:08.064 --> 00:20:18.140
  • Well, first of all, i had a huge sense of relief when it
  • 00:20:18.140 --> 00:20:22.245
  • Was over. however, what happened in that moment? i said,
  • 00:20:22.245 --> 00:20:28.317
  • No one's ever going to control me again.
  • 00:20:28.317 --> 00:20:30.820
  • >> yeah, yeah.
  • 00:20:30.820 --> 00:20:32.922
  • >> no one's ever going to make me feel helpless like this
  • 00:20:32.922 --> 00:20:36.025
  • Again. this will never happen again to me. and so i believe
  • 00:20:36.025 --> 00:20:40.796
  • That's when the seed of needing control and money and power.
  • 00:20:40.796 --> 00:20:47.637
  • Power. if i had the power, i could protect myself.
  • 00:20:47.637 --> 00:20:51.040
  • >> yeah.
  • 00:20:51.040 --> 00:20:52.241
  • >> so i thought so. i'm still sitting there back up in the
  • 00:20:52.241 --> 00:20:58.114
  • Cabin that that was the kind of the first memory that that
  • 00:20:58.114 --> 00:21:01.183
  • Comes up. right? i look back down and i used to put the gun
  • 00:21:01.183 --> 00:21:10.026
  • Just to see how it felt, because when you're really
  • 00:21:10.026 --> 00:21:15.097
  • Depressed, everything, you almost can't feel anything. so
  • 00:21:15.097 --> 00:21:20.202
  • I could feel the steel of the firearm. i could feel the
  • 00:21:20.202 --> 00:21:25.041
  • Coldness of it. so i was sitting there doing this just
  • 00:21:25.041 --> 00:21:29.278
  • Kind of just so i could feel something. and there was there
  • 00:21:29.278 --> 00:21:32.114
  • Were these voices talking to me, you know, you have nothing left.
  • 00:21:32.114 --> 00:21:38.988
  • You're horrible. you're you're nothing. you're no one. now
  • 00:21:38.988 --> 00:21:43.859
  • Look at you right over and over again. so the next thought was
  • 00:21:43.859 --> 00:21:50.333
  • Back when i was a child. so we lived in an upper class money
  • 00:21:50.333 --> 00:21:58.207
  • Wise, right? money wasn't, you know, we were not the right
  • 00:21:58.207 --> 00:22:03.012
  • Kind of money. but we lived in a little suburb about six miles
  • 00:22:03.012 --> 00:22:06.048
  • Outside of new orleans. and from the outside looking in,
  • 00:22:06.048 --> 00:22:10.920
  • You would probably think this. you know, me and my brothers
  • 00:22:10.920 --> 00:22:13.956
  • And sisters, we had it all, you know, big old house on the lake,
  • 00:22:13.956 --> 00:22:17.827
  • Right? but inside that, that house, which was a complete
  • 00:22:17.827 --> 00:22:21.931
  • Facade, by the way, i mean a total, total fake, total facade
  • 00:22:21.931 --> 00:22:26.369
  • Was complete chaos. so the next memory i had while i'm sitting
  • 00:22:26.369 --> 00:22:30.639
  • In this cabin, i'll never forget this. i was five years
  • 00:22:30.639 --> 00:22:34.210
  • Old, and i remember i was playing with toys for some
  • 00:22:34.210 --> 00:22:39.014
  • Reason. i was always around the kitchen table. there's
  • 00:22:39.014 --> 00:22:41.350
  • Something about the kitchen table, right? i don't know what
  • 00:22:41.350 --> 00:22:43.986
  • It is, but i was, i was it felt safe to me, the kitchen table.
  • 00:22:43.986 --> 00:22:47.256
  • And so i would go under the kitchen table and play with
  • 00:22:47.256 --> 00:22:49.959
  • These toys while my mom was in the kitchen cooking and my
  • 00:22:49.959 --> 00:22:53.562
  • Father had got home. well, a fight starts to ensue here
  • 00:22:53.562 --> 00:22:56.031
  • Between them and which would happen quite often. it was a
  • 00:22:56.031 --> 00:22:59.802
  • Very toxic relationship, especially back then, and it
  • 00:22:59.802 --> 00:23:04.840
  • Keeps escalating. and my, my father had the ability to just
  • 00:23:04.840 --> 00:23:10.946
  • Remain cool as a cucumber. right. but but to a very
  • 00:23:10.946 --> 00:23:15.918
  • Unhealthy point. my mother was just trying to get something
  • 00:23:15.918 --> 00:23:19.922
  • Out of him that, you know, some kind of sense of compassion or
  • 00:23:19.922 --> 00:23:25.227
  • Some kind of care or just something from him that meant
  • 00:23:25.227 --> 00:23:29.532
  • Something. right? and so as, as he was able to not give her any
  • 00:23:29.532 --> 00:23:35.070
  • Validation, not give her anything, the fight kept
  • 00:23:35.070 --> 00:23:37.506
  • Escalating. my mother kept raising her voice. i'm five
  • 00:23:37.506 --> 00:23:41.177
  • Years old and i wish i was bigger. i wish i could have
  • 00:23:41.177 --> 00:23:44.780
  • Protected my mom. i said, well, what can i do? so they didn't
  • 00:23:44.780 --> 00:23:49.618
  • Know i was down there. so i yelled, stop! and they
  • 00:23:49.618 --> 00:23:53.055
  • Obviously knew i was there then. and my father, as he's got her
  • 00:23:53.055 --> 00:23:58.861
  • Her wrist right here, looks down at me and i'll never
  • 00:23:58.861 --> 00:24:03.065
  • Forget the way his eyes looked. and instead of being
  • 00:24:03.065 --> 00:24:08.904
  • Compassionate that a five year old had just witnessed this, he
  • 00:24:08.904 --> 00:24:14.343
  • Takes it as a moment to humiliate my mother. he said,
  • 00:24:14.343 --> 00:24:17.213
  • Look, look, son, look at saint barbara. look real mother
  • 00:24:17.213 --> 00:24:22.084
  • Teresa right here. look at her. look how crazy she is. look how
  • 00:24:22.084 --> 00:24:25.988
  • Look how psycho she is now, i did get that to come to an end
  • 00:24:25.988 --> 00:24:32.394
  • By yelling stop! but my mother was just distraught. i mean,
  • 00:24:32.394 --> 00:24:36.065
  • You could imagine. she ran off to her bedroom. my mother
  • 00:24:36.065 --> 00:24:41.003
  • Fought and dealt with severe anxiety and and depression. and
  • 00:24:41.003 --> 00:24:46.041
  • So i ran right after her and just did anything i could just
  • 00:24:46.041 --> 00:24:50.746
  • To try to console her. i would leave her a little notes. mom,
  • 00:24:50.746 --> 00:24:55.351
  • I love you from your angel. and i would hold her while she was
  • 00:24:55.351 --> 00:25:01.190
  • Shaking. and so these these were all the it was it was like
  • 00:25:01.190 --> 00:25:05.461
  • A series of my life as i'm in this cabin flashing before me.
  • 00:25:05.461 --> 00:25:09.598
  • Right. and so i'd have a series of this along with the enemy's
  • 00:25:09.598 --> 00:25:13.936
  • Lies just flooding my brain. so i'm up in the cabin still, and
  • 00:25:13.936 --> 00:25:19.975
  • I keep checking to make sure that the the pistol is loaded.
  • 00:25:19.975 --> 00:25:23.279
  • You know, i would i would it about halfway. just make sure
  • 00:25:23.279 --> 00:25:27.316
  • It's there. so as i'm up there, the next memory that surfaces
  • 00:25:27.316 --> 00:25:33.522
  • Was my mother the moment before she passed away, or several
  • 00:25:33.522 --> 00:25:39.028
  • Weeks before she passed away, she kind of withered away. and
  • 00:25:39.028 --> 00:25:41.864
  • I'll never forget this. i was holding my mom. she had, you
  • 00:25:41.864 --> 00:25:45.801
  • Know, been like 80 pounds now. and i was holding my mother.
  • 00:25:45.801 --> 00:25:49.872
  • And she was just at this point, skin and bones, and her voice
  • 00:25:49.872 --> 00:25:54.043
  • Was deteriorating. and i'm holding her. and i was looking
  • 00:25:54.043 --> 00:25:58.447
  • Down at her, and i'm holding her, and she mumbles something
  • 00:25:58.447 --> 00:26:01.116
  • I said, i said, mom, what was that? what did you say? she
  • 00:26:01.116 --> 00:26:05.888
  • Said, god's warning you. i said, what was that? she said, god's
  • 00:26:05.888 --> 00:26:13.896
  • Warning you. i said, god is warning me. she went like that
  • 00:26:13.896 --> 00:26:21.770
  • And she had nearly died before that moment, and they had to
  • 00:26:21.770 --> 00:26:26.775
  • Intubate her and resuscitate her in the hospital. and i said,
  • 00:26:26.775 --> 00:26:30.846
  • You you met god. you saw god. she shook her head. yes. and so
  • 00:26:30.846 --> 00:26:36.885
  • I'm thinking about all this in the cabin. well, i end up
  • 00:26:36.885 --> 00:26:42.324
  • Losing my mother, who was my absolute everything, who i
  • 00:26:42.324 --> 00:26:45.861
  • Adored, who most of the goodness in me. i accredit to
  • 00:26:45.861 --> 00:26:50.065
  • Her definitely my faith. i mean, my mother was a faithful,
  • 00:26:50.065 --> 00:26:54.203
  • Prayerful warrior, like like no one, you know, like, it's just
  • 00:26:54.203 --> 00:26:59.008
  • Amazing. and i don't know what to do at this point and this
  • 00:26:59.008 --> 00:27:05.214
  • Time in my life when i lose my mother. so what do i do? i go
  • 00:27:05.214 --> 00:27:09.118
  • Back to the same deck of cards because, remember, i'm i'm
  • 00:27:09.118 --> 00:27:13.288
  • Christian, i'm catholic, but i'm not saved yet at this point.
  • 00:27:13.288 --> 00:27:17.292
  • So this is a point in time where this is that that world
  • 00:27:17.292 --> 00:27:20.896
  • Is not not even close yet. right. and so i, i go into
  • 00:27:20.896 --> 00:27:28.504
  • Overdrive mode, you know, i said, i'm going to give my mom
  • 00:27:28.504 --> 00:27:31.073
  • The best, you know, sendoff and funeral. and i start drinking
  • 00:27:31.073 --> 00:27:35.377
  • Again, start taking six, seven, eight adderall in a day. wow.
  • 00:27:35.377 --> 00:27:40.983
  • Anything i could do to avoid the pain and protect myself. so
  • 00:27:40.983 --> 00:27:46.522
  • I went back to that same deck of cards. i'm like, you know
  • 00:27:46.522 --> 00:27:50.225
  • What i need? i need more money. i need more power. if i get all
  • 00:27:50.225 --> 00:27:54.129
  • That i can stop, i can stop this pain. i can stop the way
  • 00:27:54.129 --> 00:27:59.168
  • It feels.
  • 00:27:59.168 --> 00:28:00.402
  • >> he said, mrs. mckinnon, you have a brain aneurysm and you
  • 00:28:00.402 --> 00:28:04.339
  • Are going to die.
  • 00:28:04.339 --> 00:28:05.941
  • >> there was a lot of violence in my home and that's all i
  • 00:28:05.941 --> 00:28:09.978
  • Knew.
  • 00:28:09.978 --> 00:28:11.180
  • >> he left us. and then you don't know how you're going to
  • 00:28:11.180 --> 00:28:14.316
  • Feed those kids.
  • 00:28:14.316 --> 00:28:15.484
  • >> i felt so hopeless and so alone. i just tried to drown
  • 00:28:15.484 --> 00:28:19.922
  • The pain of losing my father.
  • 00:28:19.922 --> 00:28:22.758
  • >> and someone sent me a clip from tbn.
  • 00:28:22.758 --> 00:28:27.029
  • >> finding tbn was like a refuge. it was like a lifeboat.
  • 00:28:27.029 --> 00:28:30.599
  • >> i hear this message that there's a god that loves me,
  • 00:28:30.599 --> 00:28:33.902
  • And there's a god that knows exactly what i'm going through.
  • 00:28:33.902 --> 00:28:36.772
  • >> the programs on tbn was telling me that i'm saved, that
  • 00:28:36.772 --> 00:28:41.176
  • I'm chosen, that i'm blessed, that i'm free already.
  • 00:28:41.176 --> 00:28:44.179
  • >> it gave me the ability to know i have to get up from here
  • 00:28:44.179 --> 00:28:48.517
  • And go on.
  • 00:28:48.517 --> 00:28:50.452
  • >> it meant the world to me.
  • 00:28:50.452 --> 00:28:56.925
  • >> and i just want to say something. if if there's
  • 00:28:56.925 --> 00:29:01.163
  • Anybody thinking about committing adultery out there,
  • 00:29:01.163 --> 00:29:06.034
  • Don't do it. yeah. don't do it. i had been in this state of
  • 00:29:06.034 --> 00:29:14.042
  • Searching for anything i could, and ultimately had an affair
  • 00:29:14.042 --> 00:29:23.652
  • During this time period, and it was the fatal, fatal mistake.
  • 00:29:23.652 --> 00:29:30.926
  • It was horrific. it was a public of when i say public it,
  • 00:29:30.926 --> 00:29:38.066
  • You know, i was a younger guy. i'm you know, i'm chairman of
  • 00:29:38.066 --> 00:29:42.738
  • State housing authority there where my signature could
  • 00:29:42.738 --> 00:29:45.908
  • Approve or disapprove 1.5 1.6 billion a year. so it comes out
  • 00:29:45.908 --> 00:29:51.713
  • In public and my kids end up hearing about this at school
  • 00:29:51.713 --> 00:29:56.785
  • Because both of these young individuals involved had a
  • 00:29:56.785 --> 00:30:00.756
  • Little bit of a name or notoriety. and so it just was
  • 00:30:00.756 --> 00:30:05.394
  • An absolute disastrous decision on so many levels. right? so
  • 00:30:05.394 --> 00:30:13.468
  • I'm sitting there in the cabin and i'm just reliving all of
  • 00:30:13.468 --> 00:30:16.939
  • This over and over and over and over on how i failed my family,
  • 00:30:16.939 --> 00:30:26.982
  • How there's no turning back from here. i, you know, like i
  • 00:30:26.982 --> 00:30:32.054
  • Said, money was everything. well, i did have money, but to
  • 00:30:32.054 --> 00:30:36.391
  • Get the money, i had to kill myself. to get it because it
  • 00:30:36.391 --> 00:30:41.463
  • Was life insurance. so i had about $9 million in life
  • 00:30:41.463 --> 00:30:46.101
  • Insurance and i said, i can this is all the stuff going on
  • 00:30:46.101 --> 00:30:49.504
  • In my mind. i said, i can provide for my family by
  • 00:30:49.504 --> 00:30:52.875
  • Handling business with this nine millimeter, and they'll be
  • 00:30:52.875 --> 00:30:56.278
  • Taking care of their whole life. i didn't have a relationship
  • 00:30:56.278 --> 00:30:59.715
  • With jesus. i didn't, so that was everything right there. so
  • 00:30:59.715 --> 00:31:03.952
  • This is what was going on. the voices kept getting louder and
  • 00:31:03.952 --> 00:31:08.991
  • Louder and louder. and then i keep having these, you know,
  • 00:31:08.991 --> 00:31:13.528
  • Flashbacks. and it gets to the point where i'm just looking to
  • 00:31:13.528 --> 00:31:19.434
  • Shut him off. i'm just just want these voices to stop. so i.
  • 00:31:19.434 --> 00:31:24.139
  • I grab the remote. and turn on the television. so i'm sitting
  • 00:31:24.139 --> 00:31:31.880
  • There, i turn on the tv, and when i look up. this guy was on
  • 00:31:31.880 --> 00:31:40.122
  • The screen was tbn. i didn't know what tbn stood for. i
  • 00:31:40.122 --> 00:31:47.863
  • Could tell that it was religious, which that was
  • 00:31:47.863 --> 00:31:51.833
  • Comfortable for me. my mother and i said, that must stand for
  • 00:31:51.833 --> 00:31:57.572
  • The bible network. so i'm watching. and i mean, i'm like,
  • 00:31:57.572 --> 00:32:06.214
  • This guy's talking to me.
  • 00:32:06.214 --> 00:32:07.983
  • >> wow.
  • 00:32:07.983 --> 00:32:09.084
  • >> he's like, i'm reaching out to you, child of god, i'm
  • 00:32:09.184 --> 00:32:11.954
  • Reaching out to you right now in your time of pain, your time
  • 00:32:11.954 --> 00:32:15.324
  • Of need. and he's saying the good lord's going to send you.
  • 00:32:15.324 --> 00:32:17.893
  • You know what you need. and i and i pray right now that that
  • 00:32:17.893 --> 00:32:21.930
  • You put all the good things in your life and take out the bad
  • 00:32:21.930 --> 00:32:26.134
  • Things and it keeps going. so i'm just i don't know what's
  • 00:32:26.134 --> 00:32:30.973
  • Going on, but i'm just completely enamored at this
  • 00:32:30.973 --> 00:32:34.343
  • Point. so i throw my pistol down. and for some reason, i
  • 00:32:34.343 --> 00:32:37.946
  • Grabbed my cell phone and i just start recording it. i
  • 00:32:37.946 --> 00:32:41.984
  • Didn't know what was happening. i didn't have a relationship,
  • 00:32:41.984 --> 00:32:45.053
  • Like i said, with jesus. so i didn't know, what about the
  • 00:32:45.053 --> 00:32:48.957
  • Holy spirit? and so i'm just recording it and and doctor
  • 00:32:48.957 --> 00:32:54.296
  • Scott's on the screen. and every time he started
  • 00:32:54.296 --> 00:33:00.002
  • Mentioning the holy spirit and god, the whole room would light
  • 00:33:00.002 --> 00:33:03.739
  • Up. and so i'm capturing this and and it just gets brighter
  • 00:33:03.739 --> 00:33:11.413
  • And brighter. and it got to the point at the i caught about two
  • 00:33:11.413 --> 00:33:15.951
  • Minutes. so i caught the second half of this on video. and it
  • 00:33:15.951 --> 00:33:20.389
  • Got to the point towards the end where the holy spirit, it
  • 00:33:20.389 --> 00:33:24.126
  • Was so bright i could barely see. and you could see in the
  • 00:33:24.126 --> 00:33:28.864
  • Video i'm adjusting. i'm zooming in and out because i'm
  • 00:33:28.864 --> 00:33:33.068
  • Trying to see. am i seeing this right now? right. what am i
  • 00:33:33.068 --> 00:33:36.905
  • Seeing? and it saved my life. tbn saved my life. you saved my
  • 00:33:36.905 --> 00:33:43.845
  • Life. i wouldn't be here today.
  • 00:33:43.845 --> 00:33:46.615
  • >> god, man.
  • 00:33:46.615 --> 00:33:48.150
  • >> my kids wouldn't have fought without you.
  • 00:33:48.150 --> 00:33:51.720
  • >> this program is.
  • 00:33:51.720 --> 00:33:54.990
  • >> thank you. jesus.
  • 00:33:54.990 --> 00:33:57.859
  • >> a place where god poured in a whole bunch of events.
  • 00:33:57.859 --> 00:34:05.300
  • >> oh.
  • 00:34:05.300 --> 00:34:06.601
  • >> and turned them into a story. and we believe that a testimony
  • 00:34:06.601 --> 00:34:15.744
  • Is for the very purpose for you to believe that it will happen
  • 00:34:15.744 --> 00:34:23.618
  • Again. and this all started a few months ago. guess what?
  • 00:34:23.618 --> 00:34:29.891
  • Lori and i would have sat here by our lonely little selves,
  • 00:34:29.891 --> 00:34:32.794
  • And we would have probably talked to you. we might have
  • 00:34:32.794 --> 00:34:35.831
  • Been walking around a little bit, and the point was, we want
  • 00:34:35.831 --> 00:34:39.868
  • To hear from you. i just had an overwhelming sense. lori and i
  • 00:34:39.868 --> 00:34:45.140
  • Started talking about it that several years ago, when this
  • 00:34:45.140 --> 00:34:49.978
  • Building looked like just steel studs and there was nothing
  • 00:34:49.978 --> 00:34:54.282
  • Else in here, we walked through this explaining to the partners
  • 00:34:54.282 --> 00:35:00.722
  • That we need to create the content. we're taking the same
  • 00:35:00.722 --> 00:35:07.362
  • Steel and concrete that my mom and dad used to shape into
  • 00:35:07.362 --> 00:35:11.032
  • Towers, and we're shaping it into rooms with the capability
  • 00:35:11.032 --> 00:35:15.070
  • Of feeding the distribution platform that my parents could
  • 00:35:15.070 --> 00:35:20.609
  • Have only dreamed of seeing in their lifetimes. it's not about
  • 00:35:20.609 --> 00:35:24.913
  • Creating the distribution systems anymore. my mom and dad
  • 00:35:24.913 --> 00:35:29.985
  • Had to make the distribution. they needed a voice that needed
  • 00:35:29.985 --> 00:35:34.089
  • To happen 53 years ago, and now it's about what kind of story?
  • 00:35:34.089 --> 00:35:40.829
  • What kind of story do we want to bring to you? so as we had
  • 00:35:40.829 --> 00:35:44.900
  • That in our heart, and this day got planned in about less than
  • 00:35:44.900 --> 00:35:50.572
  • A week, we were going to sit here and just say to you, we
  • 00:35:50.572 --> 00:35:55.644
  • Need your story. yes. and then all of a sudden, anthony, your
  • 00:35:55.644 --> 00:35:59.447
  • Story comes to us. you sit here. the fact that scott, you were
  • 00:35:59.447 --> 00:36:06.121
  • The vehicle that the holy spirit poured that ministry
  • 00:36:06.121 --> 00:36:10.025
  • Through that found anthony in a rented airbnb. wow. with a nine
  • 00:36:10.025 --> 00:36:17.933
  • Millimeter pistol and the intention to killing yourself
  • 00:36:17.933 --> 00:36:24.072
  • And to stop the voices in your head, you take the remote to
  • 00:36:24.072 --> 00:36:29.211
  • Turn on the television, and there's somebody stretching
  • 00:36:29.211 --> 00:36:35.417
  • Their hand. the the the dynamic of all of that is profound. and
  • 00:36:35.417 --> 00:36:43.158
  • And for 53 years, tbn has existed to do nothing but allow
  • 00:36:43.158 --> 00:36:52.100
  • The lord to pour into the homes, the prisons, the wherever
  • 00:36:52.100 --> 00:36:58.807
  • You're viewing, whatever screen you're viewing on, you know,
  • 00:36:58.807 --> 00:37:03.011
  • And and what we thought we were doing years ago, scott, of
  • 00:37:03.011 --> 00:37:07.382
  • Stopping the pain and all that was in my mind at the time was
  • 00:37:07.382 --> 00:37:12.220
  • Elbow pain and knee pain and maybe joint pain. but pain
  • 00:37:12.220 --> 00:37:15.924
  • Comes in a whole bunch of different packages. and that
  • 00:37:15.924 --> 00:37:21.596
  • Night, look, there could have been other stories happening
  • 00:37:21.596 --> 00:37:24.933
  • Exactly that way. but we know one story that happened. and
  • 00:37:24.933 --> 00:37:28.837
  • Anthony, you came here and told it to us. and, you know, we're
  • 00:37:28.837 --> 00:37:33.842
  • Talking about a major plan. this was not a spur of the
  • 00:37:33.842 --> 00:37:40.415
  • Moment thing. you know, you you had to plan this for days and
  • 00:37:40.415 --> 00:37:44.986
  • Days and days and days. my life isn't worth anything anymore.
  • 00:37:44.986 --> 00:37:49.991
  • The voices are telling you you're worth more dead than
  • 00:37:49.991 --> 00:37:54.062
  • Alive. and here we sit today. and there you are, smiling at
  • 00:37:54.062 --> 00:38:02.037
  • Me, sitting here. and look at what the lord has done.
  • 00:38:02.037 --> 00:38:09.077
  • >> you know, i just, i just sit and think about all the people
  • 00:38:09.077 --> 00:38:13.181
  • Around the world that that have had a part in tbn for 53 years.
  • 00:38:13.181 --> 00:38:19.888
  • It was to, to to know him and make him known, to make the
  • 00:38:19.888 --> 00:38:24.926
  • Name of jesus famous. and i love, i love the lord because
  • 00:38:24.926 --> 00:38:29.898
  • He knows where we're at. he knows where we're sitting. he
  • 00:38:29.898 --> 00:38:33.902
  • Knows every place that we are. and i love what sheila says. i
  • 00:38:33.902 --> 00:38:39.341
  • Didn't know jesus lived so close to the floor. i didn't
  • 00:38:39.341 --> 00:38:43.044
  • Know he lived on a couch.
  • 00:38:43.044 --> 00:38:45.880
  • >> yeah.
  • 00:38:45.880 --> 00:38:47.015
  • >> i didn't know he lived in the hospital rooms. you know,
  • 00:38:47.115 --> 00:38:51.152
  • All the places where where the the the name of the lord has
  • 00:38:51.152 --> 00:38:57.392
  • Met. you met me. you know that the deepest moments of pain in
  • 00:38:57.392 --> 00:39:02.030
  • My life. i'll get up and go turn tbn on. yeah. he knows
  • 00:39:02.030 --> 00:39:06.134
  • What we need. he knows what we need to hear. he knows what we
  • 00:39:06.134 --> 00:39:10.438
  • Need to stop the cycle of what is turning in your brain and
  • 00:39:10.438 --> 00:39:15.143
  • Turning in your mind and in your heart. and you know what?
  • 00:39:15.143 --> 00:39:19.180
  • He's close to the brokenhearted. and he's there to fix. he's
  • 00:39:19.180 --> 00:39:22.851
  • There to mend. he's there to redeem. he's there to restore.
  • 00:39:22.851 --> 00:39:26.254
  • He's. he's there to save you and to rescue us in our time of
  • 00:39:26.254 --> 00:39:32.160
  • Need. and it's just a cry out, lord help me, lord, save me,
  • 00:39:32.160 --> 00:39:37.499
  • You know. and he meets us there, and i, i love scott because
  • 00:39:37.499 --> 00:39:42.070
  • Scott, no matter what programs we do, he's a pastor, you know,
  • 00:39:42.070 --> 00:39:47.175
  • He's got a pastor's heart and he always takes we call him the
  • 00:39:47.175 --> 00:39:52.847
  • The nutty professor, the mad mad scientist because he just
  • 00:39:52.847 --> 00:39:59.053
  • He's amazing at his gift, at what he does in chiropractic
  • 00:39:59.053 --> 00:40:02.457
  • And all that. but he always has such a word from the lord every
  • 00:40:02.457 --> 00:40:08.530
  • Time he's on. but i'm so happy that you're here, anthony.
  • 00:40:08.530 --> 00:40:11.966
  • Thank you. god bless you, sir. thank you. and and all that
  • 00:40:11.966 --> 00:40:16.971
  • He's done for you. he can do it for you. yes. it's so important
  • 00:40:16.971 --> 00:40:21.042
  • To share what god has done for you. yes, i was blind, but now
  • 00:40:21.042 --> 00:40:26.014
  • I see. yes, i was lost, but now i'm found. god wants to do it
  • 00:40:26.014 --> 00:40:30.084
  • Again and he wants to do it through you.
  • 00:40:30.084 --> 00:40:32.387
  • >> and we want to hear.
  • 00:40:32.387 --> 00:40:33.888
  • >> we want to hear about it.
  • 00:40:33.888 --> 00:40:35.957
  • >> all the information on the screen that's been on and off
  • 00:40:35.957 --> 00:40:39.127
  • This entire program is because we had a sense that we were
  • 00:40:39.127 --> 00:40:45.233
  • Missing a part of the story of what tbn is and what it has
  • 00:40:45.233 --> 00:40:50.004
  • Been for 53 years.
  • 00:40:50.004 --> 00:40:50.939
  • >> talk about it more than.
  • 00:40:50.939 --> 00:40:52.941
  • >> we we just we just are making a call to you.
  • 00:40:52.941 --> 00:40:55.977
  • >> yeah.
  • 00:40:55.977 --> 00:40:57.912
  • >> do the information on the screen, whatever it's telling
  • 00:40:57.912 --> 00:41:00.381
  • You to do, let us know. we want to know and we want to tell
  • 00:41:00.381 --> 00:41:05.954
  • Story after story after story. why? because it's a legal
  • 00:41:05.954 --> 00:41:10.892
  • Precedent and it is the intention. it's broadcasting
  • 00:41:10.892 --> 00:41:13.495
  • The intention of god to do it again.
  • 00:41:13.495 --> 00:41:16.197
  • >> do it again.
  • 00:41:16.197 --> 00:41:17.265
  • >> that's what we're that's what we're believing.
  • 00:41:17.265 --> 00:41:19.200
  • >> let me say something. i'm. i'm overwhelmed by what god's
  • 00:41:19.200 --> 00:41:25.106
  • Done here. the chance that he would use tbn through matt and
  • 00:41:25.106 --> 00:41:31.279
  • Laurie crouch to reach out to a world through content, to be
  • 00:41:31.279 --> 00:41:36.851
  • Able to call a show that we were doing for health, for
  • 00:41:36.851 --> 00:41:40.855
  • People who are in pain. and the lord had put on my heart right
  • 00:41:40.855 --> 00:41:45.226
  • Before i prayed about suicide. i don't know why the holy
  • 00:41:45.226 --> 00:41:49.998
  • Spirit told me that, but i started praying a prayer for
  • 00:41:49.998 --> 00:41:53.334
  • People that were dealing with personal pain and the fact that
  • 00:41:53.334 --> 00:41:55.036
  • He would care enough about you to reach into your home to put
  • 00:41:55.036 --> 00:41:58.840
  • All this together just so you could be here today. i'm a
  • 00:41:58.840 --> 00:42:03.077
  • Little overwhelmed right now. i don't mind telling you, and i
  • 00:42:03.077 --> 00:42:07.248
  • Want to look at you right now. i don't know what you've seen.
  • 00:42:07.248 --> 00:42:13.121
  • I don't know what you've been exposed to, and i don't know
  • 00:42:13.121 --> 00:42:16.124
  • How real it's been, but this is real. what you're seeing here
  • 00:42:16.124 --> 00:42:20.028
  • Today is a testimony. yes. and it is a spirit of prophecy
  • 00:42:20.028 --> 00:42:24.198
  • That's speaking to you because it's evidence that god is
  • 00:42:24.198 --> 00:42:29.037
  • Faithful to watch over his word and do exactly what it says
  • 00:42:29.037 --> 00:42:34.008
  • That he'll do. and if he'll do it for anthony, he'll do it for
  • 00:42:34.008 --> 00:42:38.980
  • You.
  • 00:42:38.980 --> 00:42:39.314
  • >> yes.
  • 00:42:39.314 --> 00:42:40.415
  • >> if you are listening to me right now, that spirit of
  • 00:42:40.515 --> 00:42:42.817
  • Suicide is trying to make you believe that you are out of
  • 00:42:42.817 --> 00:42:46.321
  • Choices.
  • 00:42:46.321 --> 00:42:46.654
  • >> yep.
  • 00:42:46.654 --> 00:42:47.889
  • >> i'm telling you, you are not out of choices. you're not here
  • 00:42:47.989 --> 00:42:52.060
  • By accident. you're not here by happenstance. you're here
  • 00:42:52.060 --> 00:42:55.063
  • Because the lord is ready to do for you what he did for anthony.
  • 00:42:55.063 --> 00:42:59.033
  • And i'll tell you right now, i'm going to stretch out my
  • 00:42:59.033 --> 00:43:02.003
  • Hand right now. and if you'll agree with me right now, you'll
  • 00:43:02.003 --> 00:43:04.872
  • Agree with matt and anthony and lori and the tbn network and
  • 00:43:04.872 --> 00:43:07.976
  • The entire tbn family. we're behind you right now. we're
  • 00:43:07.976 --> 00:43:10.111
  • Praying for you. you are not alone. we're going through this
  • 00:43:10.111 --> 00:43:13.114
  • Together. and right now, i just want you to say, i want your
  • 00:43:13.114 --> 00:43:16.351
  • Spirit in me to empower me so i can do the things that you have
  • 00:43:16.351 --> 00:43:20.922
  • Planned for me. and if you believe that satan, in jesus
  • 00:43:20.922 --> 00:43:24.392
  • Name i pray. amen. god, i'm telling you right now, you've
  • 00:43:24.392 --> 00:43:27.195
  • Just given the lord permission. deuteronomy 31 says, the lord
  • 00:43:27.195 --> 00:43:30.832
  • Himself goes before you.
  • 00:43:30.832 --> 00:43:33.267
  • >> thank you lord.
  • 00:43:33.267 --> 00:43:34.502
  • >> he is with you. he'll never leave you. he'll never forsake
  • 00:43:34.502 --> 00:43:37.305
  • You. and he says, because of that, don't be afraid and don't
  • 00:43:37.305 --> 00:43:41.142
  • Be dismayed. you have nothing to be afraid of. you have
  • 00:43:41.142 --> 00:43:44.946
  • Nothing to be worried of. it doesn't matter what you think
  • 00:43:44.946 --> 00:43:47.782
  • Is bad, what the enemy has meant for evil, god will turn
  • 00:43:47.782 --> 00:43:51.786
  • For good. so we bless you now. i bless you in jesus name. your
  • 00:43:51.786 --> 00:43:56.824
  • Life now is worth too much for god to allow an enemy to waste
  • 00:43:56.824 --> 00:44:01.095
  • It. oh my god.
  • 00:44:01.095 --> 00:44:03.164
  • >> just kind. of give me your final thought. and then scott,
  • 00:44:03.164 --> 00:44:06.934
  • Last word will be yours, sir.
  • 00:44:06.934 --> 00:44:09.137
  • >> my final thought, if it's okay, would be to the viewer or
  • 00:44:09.137 --> 00:44:14.842
  • Viewers out there. i don't care how bad you may feel right now,
  • 00:44:14.842 --> 00:44:23.418
  • You may not be able to feel anything. it will get better
  • 00:44:23.418 --> 00:44:28.956
  • With jesus christ. you've tried everything else. why not try
  • 00:44:28.956 --> 00:44:34.362
  • Jesus, right? so i'm just i'm pleading. if you're struggling
  • 00:44:34.362 --> 00:44:39.967
  • Right now, if you can't get your get out of your head up
  • 00:44:39.967 --> 00:44:44.072
  • Here, get in the word.
  • 00:44:44.072 --> 00:44:46.207
  • >> yeah.
  • 00:44:46.207 --> 00:44:47.408
  • >> get in the word and talk to a trusted pastor. yeah. talk to
  • 00:44:47.508 --> 00:44:52.547
  • Someone trusted. because the enemy seeks and destroys
  • 00:44:52.547 --> 00:44:57.652
  • Through isolation and and through shame. and doesn't want
  • 00:44:57.652 --> 00:45:02.256
  • You to talk about it. but god loves you. you are valuable.
  • 00:45:02.256 --> 00:45:08.296
  • You are beautifully and wonderfully made. and he will
  • 00:45:08.296 --> 00:45:12.767
  • Take you. he will take everything you've been. through
  • 00:45:12.767 --> 00:45:16.237
  • And use it for his glory. and you will feel joy again. you
  • 00:45:16.237 --> 00:45:20.208
  • Will feel happiness again. so that's my plea.
  • 00:45:20.208 --> 00:45:24.011
  • >> beautiful, beautiful.
  • 00:45:24.011 --> 00:45:25.880
  • >> your. incident either becomes your prison.
  • 00:45:25.880 --> 00:45:32.253
  • >> yeah.
  • 00:45:32.253 --> 00:45:32.787
  • >> or your platform.
  • 00:45:32.787 --> 00:45:34.522
  • >> yeah.
  • 00:45:34.522 --> 00:45:35.456
  • >> and this has been a beautiful platform.
  • 00:45:35.456 --> 00:45:39.694
  • >> yes.
  • 00:45:39.694 --> 00:45:40.828
  • >> for what? the enemy wanted for evil. god has turned for
  • 00:45:40.928 --> 00:45:45.933
  • Good. final thought. final. final word to.
  • 00:45:45.933 --> 00:45:49.103
  • >> you, yeah.
  • 00:45:49.103 --> 00:45:50.238
  • >> i just. isaiah 46 says he declares the end from the
  • 00:45:50.238 --> 00:45:54.809
  • Beginning. and we look at things in our timeline where we
  • 00:45:54.809 --> 00:45:58.913
  • Start something just hoping we're going to make it. and our
  • 00:45:58.913 --> 00:46:02.083
  • Efforts and plans were maybe we'll get there. we hope we do.
  • 00:46:02.083 --> 00:46:04.986
  • This might work out. this might not work out. so when it
  • 00:46:04.986 --> 00:46:07.889
  • Doesn't work out, we always look at it as failure. but see,
  • 00:46:07.889 --> 00:46:11.192
  • When you're walking with god and you accept jesus, remember,
  • 00:46:11.192 --> 00:46:14.562
  • When god speaks to something, he speaks to the end. he's
  • 00:46:14.562 --> 00:46:16.964
  • Already finished it before it started. so when you stay in,
  • 00:46:16.964 --> 00:46:20.835
  • Those steps are ordered. he goes before you to make sure it
  • 00:46:20.835 --> 00:46:24.071
  • Happens. he makes sure that he stays with you, to walk you
  • 00:46:24.071 --> 00:46:27.341
  • Along the way. and just in case you stumble, or just in case
  • 00:46:27.341 --> 00:46:29.911
  • You fall. if that wasn't enough, the 23rd psalm says, surely
  • 00:46:29.911 --> 00:46:32.880
  • Goodness and mercy will follow you all your days. they got
  • 00:46:32.880 --> 00:46:36.017
  • Your six, so there's no way for you to fail. so i don't know
  • 00:46:36.017 --> 00:46:40.054
  • Where you've been. i don't know what you've what you've been
  • 00:46:40.054 --> 00:46:42.924
  • Doing or what you're doing. but take the advice from tbn, from
  • 00:46:42.924 --> 00:46:46.460
  • The family, from this testimony tonight, and we're just asking
  • 00:46:46.460 --> 00:46:49.030
  • That you take your future and put it with jesus, because now
  • 00:46:49.030 --> 00:46:54.368
  • You have a line and somewhere where you can get a predicted
  • 00:46:54.368 --> 00:46:57.405
  • Outcome. and i'm going to make this last statement. please
  • 00:46:57.405 --> 00:47:00.641
  • Never allow your past to steal away from your future.
  • 00:47:00.641 --> 00:47:05.680
  • >> it is appointed unto man once to die, and then the
  • 00:47:05.680 --> 00:47:10.318
  • Judgment. anthony, it wasn't your time to die.
  • 00:47:10.318 --> 00:47:13.087
  • >> no.
  • 00:47:13.087 --> 00:47:14.355
  • >> it was not your time to die. you're sitting here and it was
  • 00:47:14.355 --> 00:47:18.059
  • Not your time, sir. and to think that my sweet little
  • 00:47:18.059 --> 00:47:21.796
  • Parents heard the voice of the lord 53 years ago.
  • 00:47:21.796 --> 00:47:25.099
  • >> oh, thank you, jesus.
  • 00:47:25.099 --> 00:47:27.568
  • >> and people started responding to what tbn is and
  • 00:47:27.568 --> 00:47:31.305
  • Was the vision.
  • 00:47:31.305 --> 00:47:33.207
  • >> i had had this for years.
  • 00:47:33.207 --> 00:47:35.243
  • >> satan had plans for that way.
  • 00:47:35.243 --> 00:47:37.278
  • >> back then.
  • 00:47:37.278 --> 00:47:38.012
  • >> yeah, yeah.
  • 00:47:38.012 --> 00:47:39.280
  • >> and this is what people have to realize. satan will work to
  • 00:47:39.280 --> 00:47:42.984
  • Destroy and god will preserve. that's the mercy of god, jan,
  • 00:47:42.984 --> 00:47:46.954
  • Isn't it? that's the long suffering of god. satan had me
  • 00:47:46.954 --> 00:47:50.958
  • So deluded for about a half hour, as i was kind of watching
  • 00:47:50.958 --> 00:47:54.395
  • That i was staring at this, just pulling the trigger and in
  • 00:47:54.395 --> 00:47:58.499
  • My mind kept coming. this you're just that quarter inch
  • 00:47:58.499 --> 00:48:02.169
  • Away from eternal peace. that was the lie of the devil. just
  • 00:48:02.169 --> 00:48:06.073
  • A quarter inch away. i thought of my children, my sons here
  • 00:48:06.073 --> 00:48:10.211
  • Tonight. my son and daughter used to pray for me. i didn't
  • 00:48:10.211 --> 00:48:13.814
  • Know that i thought of them, and i said, i can't deal with
  • 00:48:13.814 --> 00:48:17.885
  • How they're going to deal with this because i can't deal with
  • 00:48:17.885 --> 00:48:20.755
  • My life. i thought of the mess all over the house. who's going
  • 00:48:20.755 --> 00:48:24.091
  • To clean it up? i said, i can't deal with that. i can't deal
  • 00:48:24.091 --> 00:48:27.061
  • With me. and i just kept a rhythm going. that's just that
  • 00:48:27.061 --> 00:48:30.031
  • Twitch. now all i have to do is just load it. and at that, i
  • 00:48:30.031 --> 00:48:34.235
  • Mean, it was loaded. i took the safety was off. only the second
  • 00:48:34.235 --> 00:48:38.239
  • One. i switched this over. it was now loaded and i was cold
  • 00:48:38.239 --> 00:48:42.510
  • And calculating. no emotion. i knew what i didn't call anybody.
  • 00:48:42.510 --> 00:48:46.180
  • When you're really going to do it, paul, you don't make a big
  • 00:48:46.180 --> 00:48:50.151
  • Thing about it.
  • 00:48:50.151 --> 00:48:50.551
  • >> no. true.
  • 00:48:50.551 --> 00:48:51.686
  • >> i put the gun to my head, and at that moment i thought,
  • 00:48:51.786 --> 00:48:55.323
  • What if i just take the top of my head off and i live like a
  • 00:48:55.323 --> 00:48:58.859
  • Vegetable? so i said, i want to make sure the whole head goes.
  • 00:48:58.859 --> 00:49:02.229
  • And as i turned like this, it went forward. you and hal
  • 00:49:02.229 --> 00:49:05.099
  • Lindsey appeared on my tv screen.
  • 00:49:05.099 --> 00:49:06.834
  • >> oh, god.
  • 00:49:06.834 --> 00:49:08.102
  • >> i hadn't turned the tv off after kissinger and the others.
  • 00:49:08.102 --> 00:49:12.907
  • I don't know how it happened. i don't know if i was trying to
  • 00:49:12.907 --> 00:49:17.144
  • Turn the volume up, if i thought that would make the
  • 00:49:17.144 --> 00:49:20.081
  • Shot not sound so loud. i don't know if i was turning it off,
  • 00:49:20.081 --> 00:49:23.784
  • But when i just said no, not i got the whole head. and when i
  • 00:49:23.784 --> 00:49:27.488
  • Went this and my eyes went, and you and hal were on television
  • 00:49:27.488 --> 00:49:32.860
  • On a program that was called.
  • 00:49:32.860 --> 00:49:35.096
  • >> the moment after the day after.
  • 00:49:35.096 --> 00:49:38.799
  • >> the moment after.
  • 00:49:38.799 --> 00:49:40.768
  • >> the day after the.
  • 00:49:40.768 --> 00:49:41.235
  • >> day after.
  • 00:49:41.235 --> 00:49:41.902
  • >> yes. oh, and.
  • 00:49:41.902 --> 00:49:45.406
  • >> i remember plainly now that the gun riveted. i heard you
  • 00:49:45.406 --> 00:49:49.076
  • And hal talking, and hal was saying, there's many people out
  • 00:49:49.076 --> 00:49:51.979
  • There that are hurting. there's many people that. that are in
  • 00:49:51.979 --> 00:49:59.887
  • Such fear and suffering. if they only knew the bible's true.
  • 00:49:59.887 --> 00:50:05.926
  • And that's what god used.
  • 00:50:05.926 --> 00:50:09.063
  • >> my dad was a satellite guy. he loved it. and i can assure
  • 00:50:09.063 --> 00:50:13.067
  • You that that cabin had either directv or dish network. it did.
  • 00:50:13.067 --> 00:50:17.772
  • Yeah, i can assure you i didn't. i never asked you that. i can
  • 00:50:17.772 --> 00:50:21.409
  • Tell you it did. and because of the fact that my dad looked up
  • 00:50:21.409 --> 00:50:27.181
  • In the den of our home one time, saw a movie on the ceiling and
  • 00:50:27.181 --> 00:50:31.318
  • Said, god, what am i seeing? and he said, satellite. and
  • 00:50:31.318 --> 00:50:35.756
  • Soon. and tbn, because of the partners that responded to that
  • 00:50:35.756 --> 00:50:41.262
  • Vision, a satellite signal was in an air bnb up in the blue
  • 00:50:41.262 --> 00:50:47.435
  • Ridge mountains up there somewhere, and that was not
  • 00:50:47.435 --> 00:50:51.038
  • Going to receive a tv channel. it had to be satellite. okay.
  • 00:50:51.038 --> 00:50:56.277
  • And that was on the air. and god used that means it could
  • 00:50:56.277 --> 00:51:02.817
  • Have been many other things. somebody could have knocked on
  • 00:51:02.817 --> 00:51:05.252
  • The door and asked for eggs or milk or sugar or something.
  • 00:51:05.252 --> 00:51:08.823
  • There could have been a way god was going to rescue you that
  • 00:51:08.823 --> 00:51:11.826
  • Day. but the fact that this goes back.
  • 00:51:11.826 --> 00:51:14.995
  • >> the fact that the channel was on tbn when you turned the
  • 00:51:14.995 --> 00:51:18.132
  • Tv on, that's a witness. unbelievable.
  • 00:51:18.132 --> 00:51:21.035
  • >> so so the idea of 53 years ago, god raising up a voice
  • 00:51:21.035 --> 00:51:27.842
  • That met you at your time, that had you thinking about
  • 00:51:27.842 --> 00:51:32.580
  • Something at that time. that's what i believe, the secret of
  • 00:51:32.580 --> 00:51:38.152
  • The holy spirit's work is through tbn. when you need a
  • 00:51:38.152 --> 00:51:42.089
  • Word, turn on the tv. when you need something, god's going to
  • 00:51:42.089 --> 00:51:46.827
  • Pour it. and it may be at a critical time, but it may just
  • 00:51:46.827 --> 00:51:51.365
  • Be an encouragement. that's what we that's what we
  • 00:51:51.365 --> 00:51:54.235
  • Experience. that's what you experienced, scott. you've
  • 00:51:54.235 --> 00:51:57.271
  • Experienced that. you have and and the stories out there i
  • 00:51:57.271 --> 00:52:03.511
  • Know are amazing and we're wanting to hear from you. thank
  • 00:52:03.511 --> 00:52:07.081
  • You guys for helping tell this complex thing that got us all
  • 00:52:07.081 --> 00:52:11.852
  • Sitting here at the same time, right here in dallas.
  • 00:52:11.852 --> 00:52:15.456
  • >> and just what?
  • 00:52:15.456 --> 00:52:17.992
  • >> just to remind us all that god's office is at the end of
  • 00:52:17.992 --> 00:52:21.695
  • Your rope.
  • 00:52:21.695 --> 00:52:22.463
  • >> yes.
  • 00:52:22.463 --> 00:52:22.897
  • >> that's it.
  • 00:52:22.897 --> 00:52:23.564
  • >> we'll see you next time.
  • 00:52:23.564 --> 00:52:24.999
  • >> next time.
  • 00:52:24.999 --> 00:52:26.100
  • >> bye bye.
  • 00:52:26.100 --> 00:52:27.401
  • >> the bible says that overcame by the blood of the lamb and by
  • 00:52:27.401 --> 00:52:31.038
  • The word of their testimony. testimonies build faith in all
  • 00:52:31.038 --> 00:52:35.176
  • Of us. hearing the story of what god has done in anthony's
  • 00:52:35.176 --> 00:52:39.113
  • Life reminds us that through the storms of life, god is good.
  • 00:52:39.113 --> 00:52:43.083
  • He loves us and he is always faithful.
  • 00:52:43.083 --> 00:52:47.021
  • >> he said, mrs. mckinnon, you have a brain aneurysm and you
  • 00:52:47.021 --> 00:52:51.125
  • Are going to die.
  • 00:52:51.125 --> 00:52:53.894
  • >> there was a lot of violence in my home and that's all i
  • 00:52:53.894 --> 00:52:56.997
  • Knew.
  • 00:52:56.997 --> 00:52:58.933
  • >> he left us. and then you don't know how you're going to
  • 00:52:58.933 --> 00:53:01.902
  • Feed those kids.
  • 00:53:01.902 --> 00:53:03.304
  • >> i felt so hopeless and so alone. i just tried to drown
  • 00:53:03.304 --> 00:53:07.007
  • The pain of losing my father.
  • 00:53:07.007 --> 00:53:10.077
  • >> and someone sent me a clip from tbn.
  • 00:53:10.077 --> 00:53:13.013
  • >> finding tbn was like a refuge. it was like a lifeboat.
  • 00:53:13.013 --> 00:53:18.319
  • >> i hear this message that there's a god that loves me,
  • 00:53:18.319 --> 00:53:20.888
  • And there's a god that knows exactly what i'm going through.
  • 00:53:20.888 --> 00:53:24.258
  • >> the programs on tbn was telling me that i'm saved, that
  • 00:53:24.258 --> 00:53:27.861
  • I'm chosen, that i'm blessed, that i'm free already.
  • 00:53:27.861 --> 00:53:31.098
  • >> it gave me the ability to know i have to get up from here
  • 00:53:31.098 --> 00:53:35.102
  • And go on.
  • 00:53:35.102 --> 00:53:37.404
  • >> it meant the world to me.
  • 00:53:37.471 --> 00:53:44.010