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Rick Warren

Rick Warren - The Strength of Gentleness (Part 1)

May 17, 2026 | 27:29

Rick Warren - The Strength of Gentleness (Part 1)
Pastor Rick shares biblical truth and practical tools for living the full life God desires for everyone.
#Evil #Gentleness #Criticism #Truth #Commandment #Kindness #Patience #Unbelief #GodlyMan #GodlyWoman #Love #Faith #Hope #RickWarren

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Rick Warren | Rick Warren - The Strength of Gentleness (Part 1) | May 17, 2026
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  • ♪♪♪
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  • Cc by aberdeen captioning (800) 688-6621 www.aberdeen.io
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  • ♪♪♪
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  • Pastor rick warren: today we're in part three of the series on
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  • "jesus's eight keys to living a blessed life."
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  • They're often called the beatitudes.
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  • They're the first eight verses of the most important sermon
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  • Ever preached on planet earth, the sermon on the mount.
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  • In matthew chapter 5, verse 5, jesus says this, the third key
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  • To god's blessing on your life.
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  • "god blesses those who are gentle."
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  • Look at that.
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  • "god blesses those who are gentle," and then here's
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  • The promise.
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  • "the whole earth will belong to them."
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  • Are you kidding me?
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  • That's about the most extravagant statement ever made.
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  • The whole earth will belong to anybody who's gentle.
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  • Do i really believe that?
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  • Well, i wouldn't except jesus said it.
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  • And jesus doesn't lie.
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  • Jesus said, "i am the truth," not i have the truth, i teach
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  • The truth, i point to the truth.
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  • "i am the truth."
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  • So if jesus says, "god blesses those who are gentle, the whole
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  • Earth will belong to them."
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  • Guess what?
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  • I believe that.
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  • He's saying somehow locked up in this third key of blessing is
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  • The key that when you learn what it really means to be gentle,
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  • The world's yours.
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  • I mean, it's your apple.
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  • It's--you're in charge.
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  • It's not driving you, you're driving it.
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  • Now, in our hard driving, ego-driven, market-driven
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  • Culture, you don't hear a whole lot about gentleness, and the
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  • Reason why is we don't understand what it really means
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  • To be gentle.
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  • We think gentleness means weakness, and god says
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  • Absolutely not.
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  • The gentle are the strongest people on the planet, and the
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  • Earth will be theirs.
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  • It's the weak people who are arrogant.
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  • It's the weak people who are prideful.
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  • It's the weak people who are pushy and rude and mean, and
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  • Gossip, those are weak people, he said, "the truly strong
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  • People in life are the gentle, and the world will be theirs."
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  • Now, i want you to write down a definition.
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  • This is not the first fill in, so don't put it on that line.
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  • You're just gonna have to write it somewhere else on the
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  • Outline, but let me give you a true definition of gentleness.
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  • It's here on the screen.
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  • Gentleness is strength under control.
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  • Gentleness, the bible teaches real gentleness is not weakness,
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  • But rather it's strength under control.
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  • A gentle person does not overreact.
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  • A gentle person is not driven by their own emotions.
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  • A gentle person is not someone who just is so moody and
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  • Anything can let them fly off the handle.
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  • A gentleman person is strength under control.
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  • The greek word in the bible for gentleness is the word
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  • "prautes, prautes."
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  • In the old translations of the bible in english, it is
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  • Translated as the word "meek", meek.
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  • Now nobody uses that word anymore because meek has become
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  • A synonym for weak, and gentleness or "prautes" is
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  • Anything but weak.
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  • In fact, the word "prautes" or gentleness in the bible was
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  • Actually used to refer to a wild stallion that had been tamed.
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  • If you go out into the fields or in the hills and you find a wild
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  • Stallion who's strong and unbridled, and they have
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  • Enormous strength and they could kick you and kill you pretty
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  • Quickly, but if you bring that stallion back and you tame it,
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  • Then the strength is brought under control.
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  • The strength is bottled up for the master's use, and now
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  • It's useful.
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  • A tamed horse is no less strong than a wild horse.
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  • It has just as much strength.
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  • It can go just as fast.
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  • But a tamed horse, a proud taste horse, a meek horse, a gentle
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  • Horse is one that it is strength under control, it is bottled up
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  • For the master's use.
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  • And when you learn true gentleness as a man of god, when
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  • You learn true gentleness as a woman of god, it doesn't mean
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  • You're weak, it doesn't mean you're a doormat, it doesn't
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  • Mean you're any of those things that you might think meekness or
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  • Gentleness means.
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  • It means, you're not overreacting, you're in control
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  • Of your emotions, and you have strength under control.
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  • Now today, i want us to look at the strength of gentleness, this
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  • Third key to being blessed by god in your life, and
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  • Specifically i wanna give you eight benefits what the bible
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  • Says, eight benefits of learning gentleness, so that this week
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  • You'll actually begin to work on this quality in your life
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  • Because once you understand what this quality will do in your
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  • Life, you're gonna go, i wanna be a gentle man or i wanna be a
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  • Gentle woman because it brings so many blessings in your life.
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  • I'm gonna give you eight, so we're gonna have to write quick,
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  • Take notes real quick.
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  • Number one, let's get right into it.
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  • How learning to be gentle will bless your life.
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  • Number one, the bible teaches gentleness diffuses conflict.
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  • Gentleness diffuses conflict.
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  • It de-escalates anger.
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  • It curbs anger.
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  • It diffuses the time bomb in any relationship that's about
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  • To explode.
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  • Gentleness is an antidote to anger.
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  • The bible says in proverbs 15, verse 1, "a gentle answer turns
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  • Away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
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  • I don't know if you've noticed this or not, but it is tendency
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  • Of human beings.
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  • You and i tend to mimic the emotions of people across
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  • From us.
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  • And the reason we do this is because there's created in your
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  • Brains what we now know about this, we didn't even know about
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  • This years ago, in your brain are things called mirror neurons
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  • In your brain, and mirror neurons allows you to sympathize
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  • And also allow you to mirror back what other people feel.
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  • So for instance, if somebody gets angry at you, you get
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  • Angry back.
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  • If somebody gets upset, you get upset back.
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  • If somebody's really depressed, you hang around them long
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  • Enough, you get depressed.
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  • On the other hand, if somebody's energetic, you get energetic.
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  • That's part of the system.
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  • Now the bible says, "a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a
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  • Harsh word stirs up anger."
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  • Let me give you a little tip that will save you a lot of
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  • Problems and a lot of heartache and a lot of conflict in
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  • Your life.
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  • When other people raise their voice, you lower yours.
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  • That simple tip will save you from an enormous amount of
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  • Conflict in your marriage, in your parenting, in your
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  • Friendships, and at work.
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  • When other people raise your voice, you need to learn to
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  • Automatically lower yours.
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  • That's called strength under control.
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  • See what happens is usually when somebody raises their voice
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  • Against you, you raise your voice back and then they raise
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  • Their voice higher and you raise your voice higher and pretty
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  • Soon it's way escalated way up here.
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  • That means you're out of control of your emotions.
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  • Strength under control, gentleness means that when they
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  • Raise their emotions, you lower yours.
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  • And you're not gonna mimic and mock them.
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  • Here's a good verse you're gonna need someday.
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  • Maybe some of you need it this week.
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  • Ecclesiastes 10:4.
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  • "if your boss is angry with you, don't quit!
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  • If your boss is angry with you, don't quit.
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  • A gentle, a quiet, gentle spirit can overcome even
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  • Great mistakes."
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  • You see, when your boss rips one on you and just lets it rip and
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  • Just kind of vomits on you, blah, and really gets mad at
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  • You, you need to first realize it may not be anything, have
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  • Anything to do with you.
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  • They may have just got a bad phone call.
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  • They may be receiving pressure from their boss.
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  • They may have a bad situation at home.
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  • They may just ate a bad pizza.
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  • It could be any number of things.
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  • And now they're turning to the person's closest to them, which
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  • Is somebody who works for them, and they just kind of vent
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  • On you.
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  • And a lot of times that has nothing to do with you.
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  • And he says, when your boss gets angry at you, a, don't get angry
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  • Back, but b, don't walk away either.
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  • Just hang in there because it says, "a gentle, quiet spirit
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  • Can overcome even great mistakes."
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  • Number two, gentleness not only diffuses anger, gentleness, this
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  • Is a big one, disarms critics.
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  • It disarms critics.
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  • Now, the more successful you are in life, the more critics you're
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  • Gonna have.
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  • If you don't do anything with your life, nobody's gonna
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  • Criticize you.
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  • The only way to not be criticized, do nothing, say
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  • Nothing, be nothing.
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  • But if you actually stand for something instead of falling for
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  • Anything, you're gonna be criticized.
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  • ♪♪♪
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  • Pastor rick: friends, if you're having trouble staying
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  • Consistent in your bible study and quiet time, one thing you
  • 00:10:02.984 --> 00:10:06.688
  • Can do is have the daily hope devotional and podcast emailed
  • 00:10:06.688 --> 00:10:11.259
  • To you every single day.
  • 00:10:11.259 --> 00:10:13.228
  • Did you know that?
  • 00:10:13.228 --> 00:10:14.663
  • Now, each devotional, each daily devotional gives you a bible
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  • Verse and both a written and an audio teaching about that verse.
  • 00:10:17.866 --> 00:10:23.171
  • Now, i mentioned this because that's exactly what one of my
  • 00:10:23.171 --> 00:10:26.141
  • Listeners has done.
  • 00:10:26.141 --> 00:10:27.909
  • Marla wrote me and she says that getting daily hope devotionals
  • 00:10:27.909 --> 00:10:31.212
  • Have helped deepen her relationship with the lord and
  • 00:10:31.212 --> 00:10:34.549
  • Helped her be more consistent.
  • 00:10:34.549 --> 00:10:36.351
  • Marla writes this.
  • 00:10:36.351 --> 00:10:37.686
  • "hello, pastor rick.
  • 00:10:37.686 --> 00:10:39.087
  • I've been a christian all my life, but i felt lost for the
  • 00:10:39.087 --> 00:10:41.389
  • Past few years.
  • 00:10:41.389 --> 00:10:43.191
  • But a friend of mine told me about your daily hope emails,
  • 00:10:43.191 --> 00:10:47.395
  • And i've been getting them for about a month now.
  • 00:10:47.395 --> 00:10:50.131
  • I read them every morning, and my meditation and prayer
  • 00:10:50.131 --> 00:10:53.368
  • Practices have become more regular and definitely
  • 00:10:53.368 --> 00:10:56.337
  • More meaningful.
  • 00:10:56.337 --> 00:10:57.672
  • My relationship to god has grown because of you and the daily
  • 00:10:57.672 --> 00:11:01.609
  • Hope ministry.
  • 00:11:01.609 --> 00:11:03.311
  • I now listen to your podcast every day on my way to or from
  • 00:11:03.311 --> 00:11:07.282
  • Work, and i love it.
  • 00:11:07.282 --> 00:11:09.651
  • They have really helped me as a mother, as a wife, as a boss,
  • 00:11:09.651 --> 00:11:13.688
  • And as a friend.
  • 00:11:13.688 --> 00:11:15.123
  • So, i'm gonna share them with my oldest daughter who's 19.
  • 00:11:15.123 --> 00:11:19.461
  • She's trying to find friends and find her way in college.
  • 00:11:19.461 --> 00:11:22.397
  • So, thank you, thank you, thank you."
  • 00:11:22.397 --> 00:11:25.600
  • Well, thank you, marla.
  • 00:11:25.600 --> 00:11:27.135
  • Thank you for writing.
  • 00:11:27.135 --> 00:11:28.536
  • I'm so encouraged to hear how god uses daily hope to change
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  • Lives and help people just like you grow closer to him.
  • 00:11:32.774 --> 00:11:36.945
  • You know, i think it's great that you are sharing your daily
  • 00:11:36.945 --> 00:11:40.381
  • Hope podcast with your daughter.
  • 00:11:40.381 --> 00:11:41.750
  • And i would invite all of our listeners to do this.
  • 00:11:41.750 --> 00:11:44.319
  • I have no doubt that she is gonna learn to lean on the lord,
  • 00:11:44.319 --> 00:11:48.389
  • And as she does that, she'll develop biblical discernment.
  • 00:11:48.389 --> 00:11:51.793
  • That means knowing which way to go and who to relate to.
  • 00:11:51.793 --> 00:11:56.097
  • And it's gonna help her find her way in college.
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  • All of these podcasts are free and the reason we're able to do
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  • That is because the generous gifts from listeners like you.
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  • So, those of you who are supporting us financially, a
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  • Million thanks.
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  • You're making a difference.
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  • You're changing lives.
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  • Your gifts are causing people to come into the kingdom, grow in
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  • Christ, and become all god intended for them to be.
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  • Announcer: hey, would you like
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  • 00:12:29.764 --> 00:12:31.399
  • Or go to dailyhopetv.com.
  • 00:12:31.399 --> 00:12:34.536
  • Pastor rick: now, how do you handle the critics in your life,
  • 00:12:36.404 --> 00:12:39.073
  • The people who gossip against you at school, at work, in your
  • 00:12:39.073 --> 00:12:43.178
  • Neighborhood, the people who malign you, who say bad things
  • 00:12:43.178 --> 00:12:46.614
  • Against you?
  • 00:12:46.614 --> 00:12:47.949
  • Here's the point.
  • 00:12:47.949 --> 00:12:49.284
  • When you respond in gentleness, it disarms your critics.
  • 00:12:49.284 --> 00:12:53.655
  • Why?
  • 00:12:53.655 --> 00:12:54.989
  • It actually disappoints them.
  • 00:12:54.989 --> 00:12:56.925
  • Because when somebody criticizes you on social media, they're
  • 00:12:56.925 --> 00:13:02.664
  • Trolling, friends.
  • 00:13:02.664 --> 00:13:04.732
  • They're trolling.
  • 00:13:04.732 --> 00:13:06.100
  • They wanna hook you, and they're expecting you to get mad back.
  • 00:13:06.100 --> 00:13:12.106
  • They're expecting you and they want you to be defensive and
  • 00:13:12.106 --> 00:13:15.944
  • They want you to get angry.
  • 00:13:15.944 --> 00:13:17.712
  • Now, let me explain the psychology behind this.
  • 00:13:17.712 --> 00:13:20.548
  • There is actually an anger addiction that is as real as any
  • 00:13:20.548 --> 00:13:24.652
  • Other addiction.
  • 00:13:24.652 --> 00:13:26.020
  • Some people are addicted to the feeling of anger.
  • 00:13:26.020 --> 00:13:29.324
  • It's the only way they feel alive.
  • 00:13:29.324 --> 00:13:33.795
  • And they live in such a depressed state they're living
  • 00:13:33.795 --> 00:13:36.664
  • In so much depression in their life, the only way they can
  • 00:13:36.664 --> 00:13:40.235
  • Actually feel good or feel alive or feel energetic is to get mad
  • 00:13:40.235 --> 00:13:44.372
  • At somebody.
  • 00:13:44.372 --> 00:13:45.974
  • Those people are always looking for a fight.
  • 00:13:45.974 --> 00:13:49.077
  • You know who i'm talking about?
  • 00:13:49.077 --> 00:13:51.212
  • Don't look at 'em, but you know who they are.
  • 00:13:51.212 --> 00:13:55.550
  • Maybe you had a parent like that.
  • 00:13:55.550 --> 00:13:57.185
  • You know, maybe you married somebody like that.
  • 00:13:57.185 --> 00:13:59.254
  • Maybe you had a boyfriend like that, and it's just like, "why
  • 00:13:59.254 --> 00:14:01.589
  • Are you looking for a fight?"
  • 00:14:01.589 --> 00:14:03.324
  • Because some people actually don't feel very good until they
  • 00:14:03.324 --> 00:14:07.762
  • Get angry, and when they get angry, then what happens is it
  • 00:14:07.762 --> 00:14:11.666
  • Energizes them.
  • 00:14:11.666 --> 00:14:13.001
  • And they feel a whole lot better.
  • 00:14:13.001 --> 00:14:14.602
  • Does that make sense?
  • 00:14:14.602 --> 00:14:15.970
  • So you cannot let that, let them pull you in because somebody's
  • 00:14:15.970 --> 00:14:21.075
  • Gonna say something to you on, you know, instagram or google
  • 00:14:21.075 --> 00:14:25.413
  • Plus or facebook or something, twitter or something, and if you
  • 00:14:25.413 --> 00:14:29.083
  • Respond, they go, "hooked them.
  • 00:14:29.083 --> 00:14:30.818
  • Now i'm just gonna reel them in," and they feel so good
  • 00:14:30.818 --> 00:14:34.122
  • Because they love getting in a fight.
  • 00:14:34.122 --> 00:14:36.624
  • What do you do in those situations?
  • 00:14:36.624 --> 00:14:38.159
  • 1 corinthians 4:13, paul says, here's what he does.
  • 00:14:38.159 --> 00:14:41.963
  • "we respond gently when evil things are said about us."
  • 00:14:41.963 --> 00:14:47.168
  • In other words, we don't retaliate, we don't get back.
  • 00:14:47.168 --> 00:14:51.072
  • You see, if somebody hurts you, that puts them below you.
  • 00:14:51.072 --> 00:14:54.175
  • If you get even, it puts you even, but if you respond gently,
  • 00:14:54.175 --> 00:14:57.312
  • It actually puts you morally superior to them.
  • 00:14:57.312 --> 00:15:00.248
  • And paul says, "we respond gently even when evil things are
  • 00:15:00.248 --> 00:15:04.619
  • Said about us."
  • 00:15:04.619 --> 00:15:06.587
  • Titus 2:8 says this, "your conversation should be
  • 00:15:06.587 --> 00:15:10.158
  • So sensible."
  • 00:15:10.158 --> 00:15:11.492
  • In other words, it's gentle, it's kind, it's sensitive and
  • 00:15:11.492 --> 00:15:15.430
  • Sensible, "that anyone who wants to argue," in other words with
  • 00:15:15.430 --> 00:15:18.833
  • You, "will be ashamed because there won't be anything to
  • 00:15:18.833 --> 00:15:22.837
  • Criticize in anything you say."
  • 00:15:22.837 --> 00:15:27.976
  • Did you know that as your pastor, i am forbidden by god to
  • 00:15:27.976 --> 00:15:33.247
  • Get into arguments?
  • 00:15:33.247 --> 00:15:35.316
  • There are multiple passages in the scripture that says a pastor
  • 00:15:35.316 --> 00:15:38.853
  • Must never argue.
  • 00:15:38.853 --> 00:15:40.588
  • Now, i know a lot of pastors who do, and they just violate that
  • 00:15:40.588 --> 00:15:43.825
  • Scripture, but the bible says a pastor should never get caught,
  • 00:15:43.825 --> 00:15:47.795
  • Brought into a heated argument or debate and says, it says, "i
  • 00:15:47.795 --> 00:15:53.368
  • Am commanded by god to be gentle in every situation."
  • 00:15:53.368 --> 00:15:57.672
  • So this is a quality i've had to learn in ministry.
  • 00:15:57.672 --> 00:16:00.842
  • Let me show you a verse.
  • 00:16:00.842 --> 00:16:02.176
  • It's up here on the screen.
  • 00:16:02.176 --> 00:16:03.544
  • 2 timothy 2:25, this is one of many.
  • 00:16:03.544 --> 00:16:06.481
  • It says, "and the lord's servant," it's talking about
  • 00:16:06.481 --> 00:16:08.850
  • Pastors and gives the qualifications for being a
  • 00:16:08.850 --> 00:16:11.052
  • Pastor, and it says one of them is, "the lord's servant must
  • 00:16:11.052 --> 00:16:14.789
  • Never quarrel."
  • 00:16:14.789 --> 00:16:16.791
  • Look at that.
  • 00:16:16.791 --> 00:16:18.159
  • I am not allowed to quarrel, according to the bible.
  • 00:16:18.159 --> 00:16:20.728
  • "instead, he must be kind and gentle with everyone" he
  • 00:16:20.728 --> 00:16:25.800
  • Agrees with.
  • 00:16:25.800 --> 00:16:28.569
  • No, "he must be kind and gentle with everyone," in his
  • 00:16:28.569 --> 00:16:32.173
  • Political party.
  • 00:16:32.173 --> 00:16:33.775
  • No, it doesn't say that.
  • 00:16:33.775 --> 00:16:35.109
  • "he must be kind and gentle with everyone" who is a christian.
  • 00:16:35.109 --> 00:16:38.579
  • No, it doesn't say that.
  • 00:16:38.579 --> 00:16:40.882
  • It says, "with everyone."
  • 00:16:40.882 --> 00:16:42.617
  • Does that include other religions?
  • 00:16:42.617 --> 00:16:44.185
  • Yes.
  • 00:16:44.185 --> 00:16:45.520
  • Includes atheists.
  • 00:16:45.520 --> 00:16:46.854
  • Yes.
  • 00:16:46.854 --> 00:16:48.222
  • People with a lifestyle i disagree with.
  • 00:16:48.222 --> 00:16:49.557
  • Yes.
  • 00:16:49.557 --> 00:16:50.925
  • I am to be kind and gentle with everybody.
  • 00:16:50.925 --> 00:16:52.493
  • I am forbidden to quarrel with anybody.
  • 00:16:52.493 --> 00:16:55.997
  • It says, "they must be able to teach effectively," a pastor,
  • 00:16:55.997 --> 00:17:00.902
  • "and they must be patient with difficult people," that means
  • 00:17:00.902 --> 00:17:04.338
  • You, then it says-- [laughs]
  • 00:17:04.338 --> 00:17:09.510
  • "those who oppose him, he must gently instruct," gently,
  • 00:17:09.510 --> 00:17:15.616
  • There's that word gentle, "he must gently instruct in the hope
  • 00:17:15.616 --> 00:17:19.420
  • That god will grant them repentance, leading them to know
  • 00:17:19.420 --> 00:17:22.790
  • The truth."
  • 00:17:22.790 --> 00:17:24.125
  • Now, i don't know if you've noticed this or not, but i get
  • 00:17:24.125 --> 00:17:25.960
  • Criticized every once in a while.
  • 00:17:25.960 --> 00:17:28.796
  • In fact, all the time, and most of it's just total nonsense.
  • 00:17:28.796 --> 00:17:33.101
  • It makes no sense at all, and when i read it, i go, "why would
  • 00:17:33.101 --> 00:17:35.837
  • They criticize me for that?
  • 00:17:35.837 --> 00:17:37.205
  • That's not true.
  • 00:17:37.205 --> 00:17:38.539
  • I know the stuff they should criticize me, they should ask
  • 00:17:38.539 --> 00:17:40.041
  • Me, and then they could criticize the real things that
  • 00:17:40.041 --> 00:17:42.643
  • I'm worthy of criticism about."
  • 00:17:42.643 --> 00:17:45.513
  • But i am not allowed to retaliate in any way.
  • 00:17:45.513 --> 00:17:49.484
  • It's why i never, ever, ever fight back with critics, never.
  • 00:17:49.484 --> 00:17:54.589
  • I just don't do it.
  • 00:17:54.589 --> 00:17:55.957
  • Why?
  • 00:17:55.957 --> 00:17:57.291
  • The bible says gentleness disarms critics.
  • 00:17:57.291 --> 00:17:59.961
  • And so i constantly ask god for a tough skin and a tender heart.
  • 00:17:59.961 --> 00:18:05.032
  • And that's what you need to do.
  • 00:18:05.032 --> 00:18:06.467
  • You need to say, "god, give me a tough skin, so when people say
  • 00:18:06.467 --> 00:18:09.437
  • Stuff about me, it just rolls off my back.
  • 00:18:09.437 --> 00:18:11.105
  • I don't let it bother me."
  • 00:18:11.105 --> 00:18:13.441
  • But i have a tender heart.
  • 00:18:13.441 --> 00:18:14.775
  • You don't want a tough heart.
  • 00:18:14.775 --> 00:18:16.144
  • You want a tender heart and a tough skin.
  • 00:18:16.144 --> 00:18:19.247
  • What's really funny is because god says blesses, "god blesses
  • 00:18:19.247 --> 00:18:23.184
  • Those who are gentle, the whole earth belongs to them."
  • 00:18:23.184 --> 00:18:26.821
  • Some of my biggest critics have actually become some of my best
  • 00:18:26.821 --> 00:18:30.158
  • Friends, because i would not retaliate.
  • 00:18:30.158 --> 00:18:33.261
  • I only responded in gentleness.
  • 00:18:33.261 --> 00:18:35.663
  • Here's a real important one, gentleness is persuasive.
  • 00:18:35.663 --> 00:18:39.901
  • The bible says gentleness is persuasive.
  • 00:18:39.901 --> 00:18:44.272
  • Now this is extremely important if you happen to make a career
  • 00:18:44.272 --> 00:18:47.808
  • In sales.
  • 00:18:47.808 --> 00:18:49.177
  • If you're a salesman, a saleswoman, you have to sell a
  • 00:18:49.177 --> 00:18:52.113
  • Product or a service, you definitely need to
  • 00:18:52.113 --> 00:18:55.616
  • Learn gentleness.
  • 00:18:55.616 --> 00:18:56.951
  • Why?
  • 00:18:56.951 --> 00:18:58.319
  • Because the hard sell no longer works.
  • 00:18:58.319 --> 00:19:00.955
  • It used to be the way you got people's attention in the world
  • 00:19:00.955 --> 00:19:04.492
  • Was to be the loudest advertisement.
  • 00:19:04.492 --> 00:19:08.329
  • And all you had to do was be loud and fast and hard and
  • 00:19:08.329 --> 00:19:12.166
  • Strong, and people go, "okay, i'll buy a vacuum cleaner,"
  • 00:19:12.166 --> 00:19:16.604
  • You know.
  • 00:19:16.604 --> 00:19:17.972
  • "okay, i'll buy your computer, i'll buy your car."
  • 00:19:17.972 --> 00:19:21.876
  • None of that works anymore.
  • 00:19:21.876 --> 00:19:23.811
  • I mean, you know, there were these guys used to be on tv to
  • 00:19:23.811 --> 00:19:27.815
  • Sell cars and they talked real loud and real fast.
  • 00:19:27.815 --> 00:19:30.952
  • "hi, my name's cal worthington and my dog's spot," and they
  • 00:19:30.952 --> 00:19:33.821
  • Start to, "go see cal.
  • 00:19:33.821 --> 00:19:35.156
  • Go see cal.
  • 00:19:35.156 --> 00:19:37.858
  • You need to buy this right now, only 99.95.
  • 00:19:36.524 --> 00:19:39.227
  • But wait, we'll throw in the ginsu knife.
  • 00:19:39.227 --> 00:19:40.561
  • But wait."
  • 00:19:40.561 --> 00:19:41.929
  • And then, you know, and you're going, "not a chance am gonna go
  • 00:19:41.929 --> 00:19:44.565
  • See that guy."
  • 00:19:44.565 --> 00:19:46.100
  • In fact, when somebody comes on really hard and really forceful,
  • 00:19:46.100 --> 00:19:50.004
  • What's your automatic reaction?
  • 00:19:50.004 --> 00:19:51.572
  • Back off.
  • 00:19:51.572 --> 00:19:53.741
  • No way am i buying anything from that person.
  • 00:19:53.741 --> 00:19:56.844
  • Today, the hard sell no longer works.
  • 00:19:56.844 --> 00:19:59.180
  • In fact, advertising doesn't work anymore.
  • 00:19:59.180 --> 00:20:01.515
  • What works is gentleness.
  • 00:20:01.515 --> 00:20:04.085
  • Let me show you some verses.
  • 00:20:04.085 --> 00:20:05.486
  • Proverbs 25, verse 15 says, "gentle speech can break down
  • 00:20:05.486 --> 00:20:11.559
  • Rigid defenses."
  • 00:20:11.559 --> 00:20:13.227
  • So, you wanna convince your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your
  • 00:20:13.227 --> 00:20:16.998
  • Husband, your wife, your parents to do something.
  • 00:20:16.998 --> 00:20:20.101
  • Not the hard sell, that's not gonna work.
  • 00:20:20.101 --> 00:20:21.969
  • Gentle speech breaks down rigid defenses.
  • 00:20:21.969 --> 00:20:26.274
  • New century version says, "a gentle word can get through to
  • 00:20:26.274 --> 00:20:30.444
  • The hard-headed."
  • 00:20:30.444 --> 00:20:32.380
  • And so if you're a parent, screaming at your child
  • 00:20:32.380 --> 00:20:37.351
  • Never works.
  • 00:20:37.351 --> 00:20:38.986
  • Never works.
  • 00:20:38.986 --> 00:20:40.354
  • You never discipline in anger and you never discipline
  • 00:20:40.354 --> 00:20:42.590
  • In frustration.
  • 00:20:42.590 --> 00:20:43.924
  • You always discipline in love and you do it gently because
  • 00:20:43.924 --> 00:20:47.328
  • Screaming never works.
  • 00:20:47.328 --> 00:20:50.298
  • All it does is create fear and resentment in the person you're
  • 00:20:50.298 --> 00:20:53.668
  • Screaming at, and they get defensive, and they put it up.
  • 00:20:53.668 --> 00:20:56.771
  • You know, if i want to persuade you to live more for jesus
  • 00:20:56.771 --> 00:20:59.507
  • Christ, i must do it in a gentle way.
  • 00:20:59.507 --> 00:21:04.045
  • So i could stand up here every sunday evening and say, "let me
  • 00:21:04.045 --> 00:21:08.215
  • Tell you all the things you're doing wrong."
  • 00:21:08.215 --> 00:21:11.285
  • And what would you do?
  • 00:21:11.285 --> 00:21:12.620
  • You just build emotional barrier and say, "forget rick."
  • 00:21:12.620 --> 00:21:16.023
  • And you probably stopped coming, you go, you wouldn't say, "hey,
  • 00:21:16.023 --> 00:21:18.659
  • Let's go to saddleback sunday night and have rick tell us what
  • 00:21:18.659 --> 00:21:21.162
  • Bad people we are."
  • 00:21:21.162 --> 00:21:23.931
  • That doesn't work.
  • 00:21:23.931 --> 00:21:26.033
  • It doesn't work in the pulpit.
  • 00:21:26.033 --> 00:21:27.468
  • It doesn't work in the house.
  • 00:21:27.468 --> 00:21:28.903
  • It doesn't work as a teacher, nagging never works.
  • 00:21:28.903 --> 00:21:34.709
  • But gentleness is persuasive.
  • 00:21:34.709 --> 00:21:36.811
  • "a gentle word can get through to the hard-headed."
  • 00:21:36.811 --> 00:21:39.847
  • You say it gently.
  • 00:21:39.847 --> 00:21:41.248
  • Look at this verse.
  • 00:21:41.248 --> 00:21:42.616
  • I love it in the contemporary english version says, "patience
  • 00:21:42.616 --> 00:21:48.055
  • And gentle talk can convince a ruler and overcome any problem."
  • 00:21:48.055 --> 00:21:55.896
  • That's what the bible says.
  • 00:21:55.896 --> 00:21:57.264
  • Now leave that verse up there for a minute.
  • 00:21:57.264 --> 00:21:58.599
  • See that word ruler?
  • 00:21:58.599 --> 00:21:59.967
  • Let me give you a little tip on bible study.
  • 00:21:59.967 --> 00:22:01.736
  • Anytime you see the word ruler in the bible, you translate
  • 00:22:01.736 --> 00:22:06.040
  • It boss.
  • 00:22:06.040 --> 00:22:07.908
  • 'cause we don't have rulers today.
  • 00:22:07.908 --> 00:22:09.443
  • We're in a democracy, we don't have kings, we don't have
  • 00:22:09.443 --> 00:22:12.012
  • Queens, we don't have lords and ladies and counts and vassals.
  • 00:22:12.012 --> 00:22:15.182
  • We don't have kings and rulers, nobody rules over you, but
  • 00:22:15.182 --> 00:22:18.986
  • Everybody has a boss.
  • 00:22:18.986 --> 00:22:21.589
  • And we all have to work under supervision
  • 00:22:21.589 --> 00:22:23.491
  • At different times in our life.
  • 00:22:23.491 --> 00:22:24.825
  • So anytime you see the word ruler or king in the bible, just
  • 00:22:24.825 --> 00:22:28.429
  • Translate it ceo, boss, manager, the supervisor over me.
  • 00:22:28.429 --> 00:22:33.401
  • Patience and gentle talk can convince your supervisor and
  • 00:22:33.401 --> 00:22:38.305
  • Overcome any problem.
  • 00:22:38.305 --> 00:22:40.841
  • Why?
  • 00:22:40.841 --> 00:22:42.209
  • Because gentleness is persuasive.
  • 00:22:42.209 --> 00:22:43.677
  • Look at the next verse.
  • 00:22:43.677 --> 00:22:45.045
  • The bible says in proverbs 16:21, "a wise, mature person is
  • 00:22:45.045 --> 00:22:51.485
  • Known for understanding.
  • 00:22:51.485 --> 00:22:53.254
  • The more pleasant his words, the more persuasive he is."
  • 00:22:53.254 --> 00:22:59.126
  • Now, circle the word pleasant and circle the word persuasive
  • 00:22:59.126 --> 00:23:02.763
  • And draw a line between them, because if you wanna be
  • 00:23:02.763 --> 00:23:05.666
  • Persuasive, if you wanna persuade people of your idea,
  • 00:23:05.666 --> 00:23:09.203
  • Your product, your service, your faith, or anything else, you
  • 00:23:09.203 --> 00:23:14.275
  • Must be pleasant, pleasant.
  • 00:23:14.275 --> 00:23:18.279
  • The more pleasant his words, the more persuasive he is.
  • 00:23:18.279 --> 00:23:20.681
  • Now this is the mark of maturity.
  • 00:23:20.681 --> 00:23:22.583
  • Wise, mature people are pleasant, fools and idiots
  • 00:23:22.583 --> 00:23:26.720
  • Are rude.
  • 00:23:26.720 --> 00:23:29.089
  • Fools and idiots are rude.
  • 00:23:29.089 --> 00:23:31.525
  • They're crass.
  • 00:23:31.525 --> 00:23:32.893
  • They're crude.
  • 00:23:32.893 --> 00:23:34.228
  • They're not pleasant.
  • 00:23:34.228 --> 00:23:35.596
  • They're unpleasant, and they speak in rude, crude ways.
  • 00:23:35.596 --> 00:23:38.766
  • The more mature, the more wise you are, the more pleasant, the
  • 00:23:38.766 --> 00:23:42.503
  • More positive your speech is gonna be.
  • 00:23:42.503 --> 00:23:45.005
  • If your speech is negative, negative, negative, negative,
  • 00:23:45.005 --> 00:23:47.308
  • Negative, guess what?
  • 00:23:47.308 --> 00:23:48.943
  • You're not that smart.
  • 00:23:48.943 --> 00:23:50.945
  • You're not wise and you certainly aren't mature because
  • 00:23:50.945 --> 00:23:54.014
  • The more wise and mature you are, the more pleasant your
  • 00:23:54.014 --> 00:23:57.184
  • Words are.
  • 00:23:57.184 --> 00:23:58.552
  • I want you to write this down.
  • 00:23:58.552 --> 00:23:59.887
  • In fact, you can tweet this one.
  • 00:23:59.887 --> 00:24:02.189
  • I'm never persuasive when i'm abrasive.
  • 00:24:02.189 --> 00:24:06.327
  • Write that one down or tweet it right now.
  • 00:24:06.327 --> 00:24:08.662
  • I'm never persuasive when i'm abrasive.
  • 00:24:08.662 --> 00:24:13.968
  • When you are abrasive in your language, you actually
  • 00:24:13.968 --> 00:24:18.706
  • Self-defeat yourself.
  • 00:24:18.706 --> 00:24:21.175
  • Because all the things you want don't happen because you are
  • 00:24:21.175 --> 00:24:25.145
  • Being abrasive rather than being persuasive.
  • 00:24:25.145 --> 00:24:29.950
  • Gentleness is persuasive.
  • 00:24:29.950 --> 00:24:32.586
  • Number four, this is a really big one, particularly if you're
  • 00:24:32.586 --> 00:24:37.157
  • Looking for a husband or wife.
  • 00:24:37.157 --> 00:24:39.994
  • Number four, gentleness is attractive.
  • 00:24:39.994 --> 00:24:44.665
  • The bible says if you want to be more attractive, you need to
  • 00:24:44.665 --> 00:24:49.169
  • Learn to be more gentle in your life.
  • 00:24:49.169 --> 00:24:52.806
  • Now, this is true in both men and in women.
  • 00:24:52.806 --> 00:24:56.677
  • Now, one of the laws of life is i attract what i am.
  • 00:24:56.677 --> 00:25:01.649
  • I don't attract what i want.
  • 00:25:01.649 --> 00:25:03.851
  • I attract what i am.
  • 00:25:03.851 --> 00:25:06.687
  • If you wanna attract a godly man, you have to be a
  • 00:25:06.687 --> 00:25:10.090
  • Godly woman.
  • 00:25:10.090 --> 00:25:12.593
  • If you want to attract a godly woman, you have to be a
  • 00:25:12.593 --> 00:25:15.930
  • Godly man.
  • 00:25:15.930 --> 00:25:18.065
  • You can't be some rude dude in a crude mood and say, "i really
  • 00:25:18.065 --> 00:25:23.003
  • Want one of those good women."
  • 00:25:23.003 --> 00:25:24.939
  • No, you will attract what you are and so gentleness attracts
  • 00:25:24.939 --> 00:25:30.644
  • Gentleness and godliness attracts godliness.
  • 00:25:30.644 --> 00:25:35.849
  • Now, since we've got a bunch of singles in this service, for
  • 00:25:35.849 --> 00:25:40.921
  • Some guys, let me show you this.
  • 00:25:40.921 --> 00:25:42.256
  • 1 timothy 6:11 here on the screen.
  • 00:25:42.256 --> 00:25:44.892
  • 1 timothy 6:11, "as a man of god," and i want all of you guys
  • 00:25:44.892 --> 00:25:49.229
  • To be men of god, "as a man of god, pursue what god approves
  • 00:25:49.229 --> 00:25:54.234
  • Of," and then he gives you the five marks of a godly man.
  • 00:25:54.234 --> 00:25:58.505
  • This is paul talking to timothy.
  • 00:25:58.505 --> 00:25:59.907
  • He's mentoring his son in the ministry.
  • 00:25:59.907 --> 00:26:02.376
  • He says, pursue what god approves of, and here are the
  • 00:26:02.376 --> 00:26:05.279
  • Five things that make a godly man godliness, faith, love,
  • 00:26:05.279 --> 00:26:09.183
  • Endurance, and oh by the way, gentleness, gentleness.
  • 00:26:09.183 --> 00:26:14.521
  • Now, he says, god approves of godliness.
  • 00:26:14.521 --> 00:26:16.423
  • What is godliness?
  • 00:26:16.423 --> 00:26:17.791
  • It means i'm trying to let jesus live through me.
  • 00:26:17.791 --> 00:26:20.394
  • I wanna be like god.
  • 00:26:20.394 --> 00:26:21.729
  • I wanna be like christ.
  • 00:26:21.729 --> 00:26:23.097
  • I wanna be christ-like.
  • 00:26:23.097 --> 00:26:24.431
  • That's godliness.
  • 00:26:24.431 --> 00:26:25.799
  • And then he says, another mark of a man of god is faith.
  • 00:26:25.799 --> 00:26:28.035
  • I trust god in every area of my life.
  • 00:26:28.035 --> 00:26:30.304
  • Another mark of a man of god is love.
  • 00:26:30.304 --> 00:26:32.640
  • You're loving.
  • 00:26:32.640 --> 00:26:33.974
  • You're unselfish.
  • 00:26:33.974 --> 00:26:35.342
  • Another mark of a man of god is endurance.
  • 00:26:35.342 --> 00:26:37.177
  • You don't give up.
  • 00:26:37.177 --> 00:26:38.545
  • You don't quit.
  • 00:26:38.545 --> 00:26:39.880
  • You have endurance.
  • 00:26:39.880 --> 00:26:41.248
  • You have diligence.
  • 00:26:41.248 --> 00:26:42.583
  • You have determination.
  • 00:26:42.583 --> 00:26:43.951
  • And then one of the marks of a man of god is gentleness.
  • 00:26:43.951 --> 00:26:48.656
  • Gentle men are gentlemen.
  • 00:26:48.656 --> 00:26:54.428
  • The way you become a gentleman is by being gentle.
  • 00:26:52.760 --> 00:26:57.898
  • ♪♪♪
  • 00:26:59.233 --> 00:26:59.233