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Time Of Grace With Mike Novotny | Mike Novotny - The Family Connection | January 21, 2026
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- >> a number of year ago,
- 00:00:19.340 --> 00:00:19.974
- >> a number of year ago, my wife and i binged
- 00:00:20.041 --> 00:00:21.175
- A tv series together called,
- 00:00:21.275 --> 00:00:23.478
- A tv series together called, "parenthood."
- 00:00:23.544 --> 00:00:25.279
- "parenthood." anyone heard of it
- 00:00:25.346 --> 00:00:25.980
- Anyone heard of it or seen it before?
- 00:00:26.047 --> 00:00:27.748
- Or seen it before? it's six seasons
- 00:00:27.815 --> 00:00:28.616
- It's six seasons and one hundred and three
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- And one hundred and three episodes, told the long,
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- Circuitous story
- 00:00:31.285 --> 00:00:32.153
- Circuitous story of the braverman family.
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- Of the braverman family. of this couple who had
- 00:00:34.288 --> 00:00:35.456
- Of this couple who had a bunch of kids,
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- A bunch of kids, who had their own kids,
- 00:00:36.290 --> 00:00:37.091
- Who had their own kids, and it was all about
- 00:00:37.158 --> 00:00:37.692
- And it was all about the dynamics between
- 00:00:37.758 --> 00:00:39.093
- The dynamics between parents and children,
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- Parents and children, and brothers and sisters,
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- And cousins, and aunts
- 00:00:41.095 --> 00:00:42.597
- And cousins, and aunts and uncles.
- 00:00:42.663 --> 00:00:43.998
- And uncles. what i remember most
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- What i remember most about the show wasn't
- 00:00:44.832 --> 00:00:46.567
- About the show wasn't any one of the plot lines
- 00:00:46.634 --> 00:00:47.468
- Any one of the plot lines or the episodes,
- 00:00:47.535 --> 00:00:48.603
- Or the episodes, what i remember most
- 00:00:48.669 --> 00:00:49.103
- What i remember most was the table in the backyard.
- 00:00:49.170 --> 00:00:53.474
- Was the table in the backyard. during the opening credits
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- During the opening credits where they would introduce
- 00:00:54.775 --> 00:00:55.376
- Where they would introduce all the character
- 00:00:55.443 --> 00:00:56.210
- All the character over all the episodes,
- 00:00:56.277 --> 00:00:57.345
- Over all the episodes, they showed his really long,
- 00:00:57.411 --> 00:00:58.913
- They showed his really long, like, pinterest worthy table
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- Like, pinterest worthy table on the back patio.
- 00:01:01.616 --> 00:01:03.417
- On the back patio. picture, like, handcrafted
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- Picture, like, handcrafted with all the family members
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- With all the family members sitting around,
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- Sitting around, amazing food and drink
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- Amazing food and drink in the middle of the table.
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- In the middle of the table. the scene that they showed
- 00:01:10.958 --> 00:01:11.559
- The scene that they showed was always at night.
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- Was always at night. they had these strings
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- They had these strings of lights that, kinda,
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- Of lights that, kinda, hung over the table
- 00:01:13.828 --> 00:01:14.662
- Hung over the table and just had
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- And just had the perfect atmosphere.
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- The perfect atmosphere. and you just got this
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- And you just got this impression that this was
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- Impression that this was a family that was connected,
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- A family that was connected, and in love.
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- And in love. a family that was filled
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- A family that was filled with joy and unity.
- 00:01:22.470 --> 00:01:24.338
- With joy and unity. in fact, that table moved me
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- In fact, that table moved me so much that at one point,
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- So much that at one point, in watching the show,
- 00:01:26.707 --> 00:01:27.775
- In watching the show, i thought about reconstructing
- 00:01:27.842 --> 00:01:29.043
- I thought about reconstructing that own table in my back patio,
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- That own table in my back patio, until i remembered that
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- Until i remembered that i don't build things.
- 00:01:33.014 --> 00:01:36.117
- [laughing]
- 00:01:36.417 --> 00:01:37.685
- But thinking about it,
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- But thinking about it, i don't think it was
- 00:01:39.487 --> 00:01:40.154
- I don't think it was the table that inspired me,
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- The table that inspired me, i think what so got to my heart,
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- I think what so got to my heart, what's so magnetic to me
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- What's so magnetic to me was the idea of
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- Was the idea of a multigenerational
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- A multigenerational connected family.
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- Connected family. you know, just seeing grandpa
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- You know, just seeing grandpa love his granddaughter.
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- Love his granddaughter. seeing a sister be
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- Seeing a sister be close to her brother.
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- Close to her brother. seeing a married couple
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- Seeing a married couple not on the opposite ends
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- Not on the opposite ends of the table but shoulder
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- Of the table but shoulder to shoulder to one another.
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- To shoulder to one another. to see one of life's most
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- To see one of life's most important things, love,
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- Important things, love, at the center of one of life's
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- At the center of one of life's most vital things, family,
- 00:02:10.251 --> 00:02:12.420
- Most vital things, family, was so moving,
- 00:02:12.486 --> 00:02:14.622
- Was so moving, that watching that show made me
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- That watching that show made me want it more.
- 00:02:15.556 --> 00:02:19.060
- Want it more. and we've been talking
- 00:02:19.126 --> 00:02:19.627
- And we've been talking about relationships
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- About relationships and loneliness in this series.
- 00:02:20.561 --> 00:02:22.730
- And loneliness in this series. and if you're taking notes,
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- And if you're taking notes, i want you to write this down.
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- I want you to write this down. that's god's second best
- 00:02:24.899 --> 00:02:26.267
- That's god's second best cure to our loneliness.
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- Cure to our loneliness. his second best way
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- His second best way of filling up our relational
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- Of filling up our relational cup is through family.
- 00:02:31.339 --> 00:02:35.843
- Cup is through family. there are few things that you
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- There are few things that you will experience in your life,
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- Will experience in your life, few relationships that
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- Few relationships that are more important than family
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- Are more important than family than your mom, your dad,
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- Than your mom, your dad, if you have siblings,
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- If you have siblings, your brother or your sister,
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- Your brother or your sister, if you're married
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- If you're married and have children,
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- And have children, your new immediate family.
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- Your new immediate family. this is god's second best cure
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- This is god's second best cure after his own presence
- 00:02:50.324 --> 00:02:52.159
- After his own presence for your loneliness.
- 00:02:52.226 --> 00:02:54.662
- For your loneliness. that's what king david
- 00:02:54.729 --> 00:02:55.429
- That's what king david says in psalm 68.
- 00:02:55.496 --> 00:02:56.797
- Says in psalm 68. "god sets
- 00:02:56.864 --> 00:02:58.065
- "god sets the lonely in families."
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- The lonely in families." just think about it today.
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- Just think about it today. how blessed would you be
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- How blessed would you be if you grew up in a home
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- If you grew up in a home where you knew that
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- Where you knew that your mom and your dad
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- Your mom and your dad loved you unconditionally
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- Loved you unconditionally and you knew it
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- And you knew it because you saw it
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- Because you saw it and you heard it
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- And you heard it from their very lips?
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- From their very lips? and how safe and secure
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- And how safe and secure would you feel
- 00:03:16.917 --> 00:03:17.585
- Would you feel if that same mom and dad
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- If that same mom and dad didn't just love you
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- Didn't just love you at the expense of each other,
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- At the expense of each other, but you knew that
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- But you knew that they loved each other deeply
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- They loved each other deeply until death would do them part?
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- Until death would do them part? because you saw it
- 00:03:25.359 --> 00:03:26.060
- Because you saw it with your own eyes
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- With your own eyes and you heard it
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- And you heard it with your own --
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- With your own -- you winced when they kissed,
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- You winced when they kissed, but something deep inside of you
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- But something deep inside of you felt so safe and secure.
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- Felt so safe and secure. how beautiful
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- How beautiful when you're a parent
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- When you're a parent and you have no clue
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- And you have no clue what you're doing with
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- What you're doing with your son or daughter.
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- Your son or daughter. and you can reach out
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- And you can reach out to your mom and dad because
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- To your mom and dad because that bridge hasn't been burned.
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- That bridge hasn't been burned. and they passed on
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- And they passed on the wisdom of experience.
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- The wisdom of experience. what a beautiful thing
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- What a beautiful thing when we have
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- When we have brothers or sisters
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- Brothers or sisters that are eager for the holidays
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- That are eager for the holidays to come because we share
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- To come because we share the same old jokes and stories
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- The same old jokes and stories from growing up as kids.
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- From growing up as kids. i mean, how lonely could
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- I mean, how lonely could a human actually be
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- A human actually be if they lived in
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- If they lived in a family like that?
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- A family like that? but i'm reading the expressions
- 00:04:01.095 --> 00:04:01.829
- But i'm reading the expressions on some of your faces right now,
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- On some of your faces right now, and i think what
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- And i think what you're expressing is,
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- You're expressing is, yeah, that would be great.
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- Yeah, that would be great. but family is, yeah.
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- But family is, yeah. a lot of us wish we could
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- A lot of us wish we could push a button and change things,
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- Push a button and change things, but we can't.
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- But we can't. but here's what we can do.
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- But here's what we can do. we can listen to the god
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- We can listen to the god who loves your family.
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- Who loves your family. it's a profound thought.
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- It's a profound thought. maybe you've never
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- Maybe you've never thought it before.
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- Thought it before. did you know that the god
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- Did you know that the god who rules the universe
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- Who rules the universe loves your family?
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- Loves your family? he's not ignorant of it
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- He's not ignorant of it and he's not indifferent
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- And he's not indifferent about it.
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- About it. he is so --
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- He is so -- if you're married,
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- If you're married, you have the biggest
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- You have the biggest fan of your marriage is god.
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- Fan of your marriage is god. if you have siblings
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- If you have siblings or if you're raising kids
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- Or if you're raising kids or you're thinking about
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- Or you're thinking about your relationship -- like god,
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- Your relationship -- like god, god himself is
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- God himself is so pro your family
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- So pro your family that he's not going to sit
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- That he's not going to sit at a distance and say, wow,
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- At a distance and say, wow, that's complicated.
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- That's complicated. instead, god with
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- Instead, god with truth and love,
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- Truth and love, with more patience
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- With more patience than you can imagine
- 00:05:04.225 --> 00:05:05.659
- Than you can imagine and more boldness
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- And more boldness than some of us will believe,
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- Than some of us will believe, has a lot to say about
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- Has a lot to say about our family today.
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- Our family today. that's why today
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- That's why today i want to grab a bible
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- I want to grab a bible and talk to you about
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- And talk to you about the gift of family.
- 00:05:13.434 --> 00:05:15.035
- The gift of family. there are some things
- 00:05:15.102 --> 00:05:15.536
- There are some things we have to admit today
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- We have to admit today that you can't control.
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- That you can't control. sometimes marriages
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- Sometimes marriages don't make it.
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- Don't make it. sometimes kids don't want
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- Sometimes kids don't want to talk to their mom anymore.
- 00:05:21.742 --> 00:05:23.177
- To talk to their mom anymore. sometimes a spouse says they're-
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- Sometimes a spouse says they're- there's some things
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- There's some things we can't go back and change.
- 00:05:25.646 --> 00:05:26.414
- We can't go back and change. there's some things that are
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- There's some things that are just out of our control.
- 00:05:27.081 --> 00:05:27.915
- Just out of our control. but god's going to teach us
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- But god's going to teach us today there are a bunch
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- Today there are a bunch of things that are
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- Of things that are in our control,
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- In our control, a bunch of choices that
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- A bunch of choices that he can help us make
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- He can help us make to take a good relationship
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- To take a good relationship and make it great
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- And make it great or take a relationship
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- Or take a relationship that feels so stuck
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- That feels so stuck and help it get unstuck
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- And help it get unstuck and move forward.
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- And move forward. today through his holy word,
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- Today through his holy word, god is going to speak to us
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- God is going to speak to us about three big things
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- About three big things about humility,
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- About humility, about communication,
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- About communication, and about jesus.
- 00:05:51.405 --> 00:05:54.141
- And about jesus. we're going to learn
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- We're going to learn the family-changing power
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- The family-changing power of humbling ourselves.
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- Of humbling ourselves. we're going to talk about
- 00:05:57.011 --> 00:05:57.812
- We're going to talk about the key that communication
- 00:05:57.878 --> 00:05:59.413
- The key that communication always is in a relationship
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- Always is in a relationship and how jesus is offering us
- 00:06:00.815 --> 00:06:02.249
- And how jesus is offering us the guaranteed best
- 00:06:02.316 --> 00:06:03.350
- The guaranteed best family of all,
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- Family of all, where we get to call god
- 00:06:04.819 --> 00:06:05.486
- Where we get to call god himself our father in heaven.
- 00:06:05.553 --> 00:06:09.457
- Himself our father in heaven. so if you're ready to talk
- 00:06:09.523 --> 00:06:10.691
- So if you're ready to talk about family today,
- 00:06:10.758 --> 00:06:11.325
- About family today, let's start with humility.
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- Let's start with humility. grab a pen, write this down,
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- Grab a pen, write this down, even if you're at home,
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- Even if you're at home, that humble families
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- That humble families are happy families.
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- Are happy families. i cannot think of a single
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- I cannot think of a single exception to that statement.
- 00:06:25.139 --> 00:06:27.575
- Exception to that statement. humble families
- 00:06:27.641 --> 00:06:28.442
- Humble families are happy families.
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- Are happy families. do you want to know after
- 00:06:30.411 --> 00:06:31.178
- Do you want to know after 18 years of being a pastor,
- 00:06:31.245 --> 00:06:32.480
- 18 years of being a pastor, the counseling session
- 00:06:32.546 --> 00:06:33.180
- The counseling session i've never had?
- 00:06:33.247 --> 00:06:35.883
- I've never had? guy and his wife walk
- 00:06:35.950 --> 00:06:36.517
- Guy and his wife walk into my office, arms crossed.
- 00:06:36.584 --> 00:06:37.852
- Into my office, arms crossed. they sit down.
- 00:06:37.918 --> 00:06:39.353
- They sit down. i can feel the tension
- 00:06:39.420 --> 00:06:39.954
- I can feel the tension in the room.
- 00:06:40.020 --> 00:06:41.856
- In the room. i start with the wife.
- 00:06:41.922 --> 00:06:43.090
- I start with the wife. what's going on?
- 00:06:43.157 --> 00:06:44.425
- What's going on? "pastor, my husband,
- 00:06:44.492 --> 00:06:46.627
- "pastor, my husband, he's so humble.
- 00:06:46.694 --> 00:06:47.161
- He's so humble. he always puts me first."
- 00:06:47.228 --> 00:06:49.597
- He always puts me first." and the guy interrupts,
- 00:06:49.663 --> 00:06:50.130
- And the guy interrupts, "no, no, i don't.
- 00:06:50.197 --> 00:06:51.065
- "no, no, i don't. you always put me first.
- 00:06:51.131 --> 00:06:52.566
- You always put me first. help us."
- 00:06:52.633 --> 00:06:55.636
- Help us." no, that never happens.
- 00:06:55.703 --> 00:06:57.905
- No, that never happens. why?
- 00:06:57.972 --> 00:06:58.506
- Why? why?
- 00:06:58.572 --> 00:06:58.739
- Why? because when two people
- 00:06:58.806 --> 00:06:59.940
- Because when two people are so humble in a relationship,
- 00:07:00.007 --> 00:07:01.509
- Are so humble in a relationship, the relationship
- 00:07:01.575 --> 00:07:02.076
- The relationship is always happy.
- 00:07:02.142 --> 00:07:03.410
- Is always happy. it's not always easy.
- 00:07:03.477 --> 00:07:04.311
- It's not always easy. we still go through things
- 00:07:04.378 --> 00:07:04.979
- We still go through things we can't control there.
- 00:07:05.045 --> 00:07:05.746
- We can't control there. there's still cancer,
- 00:07:05.813 --> 00:07:06.647
- There's still cancer, there's still job loss.
- 00:07:06.714 --> 00:07:07.982
- There's still job loss. but two humble people in
- 00:07:08.048 --> 00:07:09.650
- But two humble people in a relationship is the instant
- 00:07:09.717 --> 00:07:11.051
- A relationship is the instant recipe for happiness.
- 00:07:11.118 --> 00:07:13.454
- Recipe for happiness. i realized as i was reading
- 00:07:13.521 --> 00:07:14.321
- I realized as i was reading all the bible passages written
- 00:07:14.388 --> 00:07:15.523
- All the bible passages written to husbands and wives
- 00:07:15.589 --> 00:07:16.290
- To husbands and wives and parents and children,
- 00:07:16.357 --> 00:07:17.525
- And parents and children, that the command behind
- 00:07:17.591 --> 00:07:18.659
- That the command behind the command was always,
- 00:07:18.726 --> 00:07:20.594
- The command was always, to quote kendrick lamar,
- 00:07:20.661 --> 00:07:22.596
- To quote kendrick lamar, be humble.
- 00:07:22.663 --> 00:07:24.932
- Be humble. let me show you ephesians 5,
- 00:07:24.999 --> 00:07:27.568
- "each one of you must also
- 00:07:27.668 --> 00:07:29.169
- "each one of you must also love his wife
- 00:07:29.236 --> 00:07:30.137
- Love his wife as he loves himself,
- 00:07:30.204 --> 00:07:31.438
- As he loves himself, and the wife must
- 00:07:31.505 --> 00:07:33.841
- And the wife must respect her husband."
- 00:07:33.908 --> 00:07:37.011
- Where the husbands at
- 00:07:37.111 --> 00:07:37.511
- Where the husbands at in the room today?
- 00:07:37.578 --> 00:07:38.913
- In the room today? hands nice and high.
- 00:07:38.979 --> 00:07:41.482
- Hands nice and high. is this just asking us as men
- 00:07:41.549 --> 00:07:42.917
- Is this just asking us as men to be humble towards our wives?
- 00:07:42.983 --> 00:07:44.351
- To be humble towards our wives? you must love your wife
- 00:07:44.418 --> 00:07:45.553
- You must love your wife as you love yourself.
- 00:07:45.619 --> 00:07:47.121
- As you love yourself. do you know
- 00:07:47.187 --> 00:07:47.555
- Do you know how you love yourself?
- 00:07:47.621 --> 00:07:50.257
- How you love yourself? when you need something
- 00:07:50.324 --> 00:07:50.958
- When you need something or you want something,
- 00:07:51.025 --> 00:07:52.626
- Or you want something, you act fast to get
- 00:07:52.693 --> 00:07:53.627
- You act fast to get that something.
- 00:07:53.694 --> 00:07:56.597
- That something. you're cold, what do you do?
- 00:07:56.664 --> 00:07:58.799
- You're cold, what do you do? you find a hoodie.
- 00:07:58.866 --> 00:08:00.634
- You find a hoodie. you're hungry.
- 00:08:00.701 --> 00:08:01.168
- You're hungry. what do you do?
- 00:08:01.235 --> 00:08:02.636
- What do you do? you get up off the couch
- 00:08:02.703 --> 00:08:03.604
- You get up off the couch and you open the door
- 00:08:03.671 --> 00:08:04.572
- And you open the door to the fridge like you.
- 00:08:04.638 --> 00:08:06.040
- To the fridge like you. you feel it and you work
- 00:08:06.106 --> 00:08:07.274
- You feel it and you work fast to meet that need.
- 00:08:07.341 --> 00:08:09.143
- Fast to meet that need. do you know what the humblest
- 00:08:09.209 --> 00:08:10.544
- Do you know what the humblest and happiest husbands do?
- 00:08:10.611 --> 00:08:13.847
- And happiest husbands do? they love their wife the way
- 00:08:13.914 --> 00:08:15.082
- They love their wife the way they love their own body.
- 00:08:15.149 --> 00:08:18.218
- They love their own body. they listen, they see.
- 00:08:18.285 --> 00:08:20.154
- They listen, they see. they ask what her needs
- 00:08:20.220 --> 00:08:21.088
- They ask what her needs and wants are
- 00:08:21.155 --> 00:08:21.989
- And wants are and instead of saying,
- 00:08:22.056 --> 00:08:22.523
- And instead of saying, "well, that's weird,
- 00:08:22.590 --> 00:08:24.058
- "well, that's weird, i don't want that,
- 00:08:24.124 --> 00:08:25.459
- I don't want that, it's not a big deal."
- 00:08:25.526 --> 00:08:28.629
- It's not a big deal." they jump to it
- 00:08:28.696 --> 00:08:30.531
- They jump to it and try to meet that need
- 00:08:30.598 --> 00:08:31.398
- And try to meet that need as much as they
- 00:08:31.465 --> 00:08:32.132
- As much as they would reach their own.
- 00:08:32.199 --> 00:08:33.000
- Would reach their own. it takes a lot of humility
- 00:08:33.067 --> 00:08:33.734
- It takes a lot of humility for a man to do that.
- 00:08:33.801 --> 00:08:35.703
- For a man to do that. but i can tell you this.
- 00:08:35.769 --> 00:08:37.137
- But i can tell you this. if your wife knows that
- 00:08:37.204 --> 00:08:38.305
- If your wife knows that when she reveals her heart,
- 00:08:38.372 --> 00:08:39.773
- When she reveals her heart, you're not just listening,
- 00:08:39.840 --> 00:08:41.308
- You're not just listening, but you're listening so
- 00:08:41.375 --> 00:08:42.176
- But you're listening so that you can start acting,
- 00:08:42.242 --> 00:08:45.245
- That you can start acting, she will feel like
- 00:08:45.312 --> 00:08:45.779
- She will feel like the happiest wife in the world.
- 00:08:45.846 --> 00:08:49.283
- The happiest wife in the world. a husband must love
- 00:08:49.350 --> 00:08:50.050
- A husband must love his wife as he loves himself,
- 00:08:50.117 --> 00:08:51.719
- His wife as he loves himself, and the wife must
- 00:08:51.785 --> 00:08:53.487
- And the wife must respect her husband.
- 00:08:53.554 --> 00:08:55.489
- Respect her husband. where the wives at today?
- 00:08:55.556 --> 00:08:58.525
- Where the wives at today? ladies, you probably
- 00:08:58.592 --> 00:08:59.326
- Ladies, you probably don't know this,
- 00:08:59.393 --> 00:09:00.628
- Don't know this, but your respect
- 00:09:00.694 --> 00:09:02.062
- But your respect for your husband means
- 00:09:02.129 --> 00:09:04.865
- For your husband means more than he will ever tell you.
- 00:09:04.932 --> 00:09:09.169
- More than he will ever tell you. when a man comes home,
- 00:09:09.236 --> 00:09:12.906
- When a man comes home, he won't say it this way,
- 00:09:12.973 --> 00:09:13.741
- He won't say it this way, but he is --
- 00:09:13.807 --> 00:09:14.508
- But he is -- he is aching to be filled up
- 00:09:14.575 --> 00:09:17.311
- He is aching to be filled up with your respect.
- 00:09:17.378 --> 00:09:19.780
- With your respect. your words, good or bad,
- 00:09:19.847 --> 00:09:22.149
- Your words, good or bad, have an exponential power.
- 00:09:22.216 --> 00:09:24.284
- Have an exponential power. picture every syllable
- 00:09:24.351 --> 00:09:25.586
- Picture every syllable that comes out of your mouth
- 00:09:25.653 --> 00:09:26.654
- That comes out of your mouth with a little 10 multiplier
- 00:09:26.720 --> 00:09:28.322
- With a little 10 multiplier at the end of it.
- 00:09:28.389 --> 00:09:29.456
- At the end of it. when he can walk home
- 00:09:29.523 --> 00:09:30.691
- When he can walk home and feel like his house
- 00:09:30.758 --> 00:09:32.393
- And feel like his house is the place where
- 00:09:32.459 --> 00:09:33.093
- Is the place where he is respected more than
- 00:09:33.160 --> 00:09:34.328
- He is respected more than any other place in the world,
- 00:09:34.395 --> 00:09:36.864
- Any other place in the world, there's a happy man.
- 00:09:36.930 --> 00:09:39.800
- There's a happy man. his buddies might
- 00:09:39.867 --> 00:09:40.801
- His buddies might applaud a golf shot
- 00:09:40.868 --> 00:09:42.069
- Applaud a golf shot on a tuesday night league.
- 00:09:42.136 --> 00:09:43.437
- On a tuesday night league. his boss might be
- 00:09:43.504 --> 00:09:44.872
- His boss might be impressed by the numbers
- 00:09:44.938 --> 00:09:45.673
- Impressed by the numbers at the end of the quarter.
- 00:09:45.739 --> 00:09:47.107
- At the end of the quarter. but when he walks into your home
- 00:09:47.174 --> 00:09:49.743
- But when he walks into your home and know that you are
- 00:09:49.810 --> 00:09:50.544
- And know that you are his biggest cheerleader,
- 00:09:50.611 --> 00:09:53.380
- His biggest cheerleader, that's a happy husband.
- 00:09:53.447 --> 00:09:56.717
- That's a happy husband. there will be times
- 00:09:56.784 --> 00:09:57.217
- There will be times to correct him.
- 00:09:57.284 --> 00:09:59.953
- To correct him. it's not good
- 00:10:00.020 --> 00:10:00.521
- It's not good for the man to be alone.
- 00:10:00.587 --> 00:10:01.555
- For the man to be alone. i've learned that a lot
- 00:10:01.622 --> 00:10:02.189
- I've learned that a lot of dudes, myself included,
- 00:10:02.256 --> 00:10:03.157
- Of dudes, myself included, need a lot of help,
- 00:10:03.223 --> 00:10:05.059
- Need a lot of help, that there's hard conversations
- 00:10:05.125 --> 00:10:05.926
- That there's hard conversations we have to have,
- 00:10:05.993 --> 00:10:06.527
- We have to have, that times we got to
- 00:10:06.593 --> 00:10:07.227
- That times we got to sit down and hash it out.
- 00:10:07.294 --> 00:10:08.962
- Sit down and hash it out. but may those be a one
- 00:10:09.029 --> 00:10:10.064
- But may those be a one out of ten conversation
- 00:10:10.130 --> 00:10:11.732
- Out of ten conversation because the other nine
- 00:10:11.799 --> 00:10:12.733
- Because the other nine are you filling him up,
- 00:10:12.800 --> 00:10:14.134
- Are you filling him up, reminding him of his purpose,
- 00:10:14.201 --> 00:10:15.769
- Reminding him of his purpose, that he's loved by god,
- 00:10:15.836 --> 00:10:16.603
- That he's loved by god, that the work he do matters
- 00:10:16.670 --> 00:10:18.005
- That the work he do matters and you feel so blessed
- 00:10:18.072 --> 00:10:19.540
- And you feel so blessed that god chose you
- 00:10:19.606 --> 00:10:20.908
- That god chose you to be married to him.
- 00:10:20.974 --> 00:10:23.644
- To be married to him. if you humble yourself
- 00:10:23.711 --> 00:10:24.678
- If you humble yourself in that way,
- 00:10:24.745 --> 00:10:25.412
- In that way, if you prioritize that bond
- 00:10:25.479 --> 00:10:27.147
- If you prioritize that bond with your husband,
- 00:10:27.214 --> 00:10:28.849
- With your husband, when we love our wives
- 00:10:28.916 --> 00:10:29.650
- When we love our wives as we love ourselves
- 00:10:29.717 --> 00:10:30.417
- As we love ourselves and wives respect
- 00:10:30.484 --> 00:10:31.452
- And wives respect their husbands,
- 00:10:31.518 --> 00:10:32.019
- Their husbands, we end up with very,
- 00:10:32.086 --> 00:10:32.686
- We end up with very, very happy families.
- 00:10:32.753 --> 00:10:34.755
- And very next verse
- 00:10:34.855 --> 00:10:35.489
- And very next verse in the book of ephesians,
- 00:10:35.556 --> 00:10:36.523
- In the book of ephesians, paul turns the attention
- 00:10:36.590 --> 00:10:37.324
- Paul turns the attention to parents and children.
- 00:10:37.391 --> 00:10:39.526
- To parents and children. he says in verse 1,
- 00:10:39.593 --> 00:10:40.227
- He says in verse 1, "children, obey your parents
- 00:10:40.294 --> 00:10:41.829
- "children, obey your parents in the lord,
- 00:10:41.895 --> 00:10:42.229
- In the lord, for this is right.
- 00:10:42.296 --> 00:10:42.930
- For this is right. honor your father and mother."
- 00:10:42.996 --> 00:10:44.064
- Honor your father and mother." and then he says in verse 4,
- 00:10:44.131 --> 00:10:44.965
- And then he says in verse 4, "fathers, do not
- 00:10:45.032 --> 00:10:45.933
- "fathers, do not exasperate your children;
- 00:10:45.999 --> 00:10:48.202
- Exasperate your children; instead bring them up
- 00:10:48.268 --> 00:10:49.002
- Instead bring them up in the training
- 00:10:49.069 --> 00:10:49.870
- In the training and instruction of the lord."
- 00:10:49.937 --> 00:10:53.907
- Where are the children
- 00:10:54.007 --> 00:10:54.508
- Where are the children at today?
- 00:10:54.575 --> 00:10:55.409
- At today? if you have a mom or dad,
- 00:10:55.476 --> 00:10:56.310
- If you have a mom or dad, raise your hand.
- 00:10:56.376 --> 00:10:59.012
- Raise your hand. some of you aren't
- 00:10:59.079 --> 00:10:59.513
- Some of you aren't raising your hand.
- 00:10:59.580 --> 00:11:00.114
- Raising your hand. were you born in a lab?
- 00:11:00.180 --> 00:11:00.948
- Were you born in a lab? what?
- 00:11:01.014 --> 00:11:01.582
- What? how'd this happen?
- 00:11:01.648 --> 00:11:04.518
- How'd this happen? according to
- 00:11:04.585 --> 00:11:04.918
- According to my unofficial study,
- 00:11:04.985 --> 00:11:06.353
- My unofficial study, our parents will ask us to do
- 00:11:06.420 --> 00:11:07.788
- Our parents will ask us to do 1.27 million things in our lives
- 00:11:07.855 --> 00:11:10.224
- 1.27 million things in our lives that we don't want to.
- 00:11:10.290 --> 00:11:13.293
- That we don't want to. what chores we're going to do,
- 00:11:13.360 --> 00:11:14.628
- What chores we're going to do, what time we got to get to bed,
- 00:11:14.695 --> 00:11:15.963
- What time we got to get to bed, when we can get a phone,
- 00:11:16.029 --> 00:11:16.730
- When we can get a phone, how much time
- 00:11:16.797 --> 00:11:17.164
- How much time we can be on the phone.
- 00:11:17.231 --> 00:11:18.132
- We can be on the phone. like there are --
- 00:11:18.198 --> 00:11:18.665
- Like there are -- there are a million plus things
- 00:11:18.732 --> 00:11:20.434
- There are a million plus things our parents will ask us to do.
- 00:11:20.501 --> 00:11:21.802
- Our parents will ask us to do. kids, if you want
- 00:11:21.869 --> 00:11:22.703
- Kids, if you want a really happy home
- 00:11:22.770 --> 00:11:23.871
- A really happy home to grow up in,
- 00:11:23.937 --> 00:11:26.206
- To grow up in, obey and honor
- 00:11:26.273 --> 00:11:28.075
- Obey and honor all 1.27 million, right?
- 00:11:28.142 --> 00:11:31.879
- All 1.27 million, right? you're going to be very tempted
- 00:11:31.945 --> 00:11:32.746
- You're going to be very tempted and pride is going to
- 00:11:32.813 --> 00:11:33.347
- And pride is going to fill your heart as soon as
- 00:11:33.413 --> 00:11:34.248
- Fill your heart as soon as mom or dad says something
- 00:11:34.314 --> 00:11:35.149
- Mom or dad says something you don't want to do
- 00:11:35.215 --> 00:11:36.150
- You don't want to do to fight, to argue.
- 00:11:36.216 --> 00:11:38.218
- To fight, to argue. but if you can obey
- 00:11:38.285 --> 00:11:39.586
- But if you can obey with your actions
- 00:11:39.653 --> 00:11:40.387
- With your actions and if you can honor
- 00:11:40.454 --> 00:11:41.255
- And if you can honor with your attitude,
- 00:11:41.321 --> 00:11:42.823
- With your attitude, i guarantee you
- 00:11:42.890 --> 00:11:43.590
- I guarantee you you're on the path to
- 00:11:43.657 --> 00:11:44.291
- You're on the path to happiness, right?
- 00:11:44.358 --> 00:11:47.127
- Happiness, right? if you can fight them
- 00:11:47.194 --> 00:11:48.595
- If you can fight them to try to be lord
- 00:11:48.662 --> 00:11:49.196
- To try to be lord and god of your home,
- 00:11:49.263 --> 00:11:50.297
- And god of your home, but it will backfire
- 00:11:50.364 --> 00:11:50.864
- But it will backfire on you very quickly.
- 00:11:50.931 --> 00:11:53.133
- On you very quickly. but when we as children
- 00:11:53.200 --> 00:11:53.834
- But when we as children can humble ourselves and say,
- 00:11:53.901 --> 00:11:56.436
- Can humble ourselves and say, god put authority in my home
- 00:11:56.503 --> 00:11:57.671
- God put authority in my home and it's not me
- 00:11:57.738 --> 00:12:00.040
- And it's not me that my mom and dad
- 00:12:00.107 --> 00:12:00.808
- That my mom and dad are making decisions.
- 00:12:00.874 --> 00:12:01.608
- Are making decisions. i don't always agree with them,
- 00:12:01.675 --> 00:12:02.342
- I don't always agree with them, but i'm going to go with them
- 00:12:02.409 --> 00:12:03.410
- But i'm going to go with them and show them honor
- 00:12:03.477 --> 00:12:04.344
- And show them honor 'cause they're my parents.
- 00:12:04.411 --> 00:12:05.445
- 'cause they're my parents. man, that's a happy family.
- 00:12:05.512 --> 00:12:06.380
- Man, that's a happy family. and parents, it's interesting.
- 00:12:06.446 --> 00:12:08.448
- And parents, it's interesting. this passage is written
- 00:12:08.515 --> 00:12:09.249
- This passage is written not just to moms and dads,
- 00:12:09.316 --> 00:12:10.117
- Not just to moms and dads, but specifically fathers.
- 00:12:10.184 --> 00:12:11.318
- But specifically fathers. do not exasperate your children.
- 00:12:11.385 --> 00:12:14.555
- Do not exasperate your children. it's a joke in my house.
- 00:12:14.621 --> 00:12:15.422
- It's a joke in my house. my children know
- 00:12:15.489 --> 00:12:16.990
- My children know the word exasperate
- 00:12:17.057 --> 00:12:17.925
- The word exasperate because they quote
- 00:12:17.991 --> 00:12:18.559
- Because they quote this passage to me constantly.
- 00:12:18.625 --> 00:12:21.228
- This passage to me constantly. i'm not a quiet dad.
- 00:12:21.295 --> 00:12:22.429
- I'm not a quiet dad. i sometimes i think
- 00:12:22.496 --> 00:12:23.730
- I sometimes i think i'm funny and i'm not funny
- 00:12:23.797 --> 00:12:25.199
- I'm funny and i'm not funny and sometimes i think
- 00:12:25.265 --> 00:12:26.066
- And sometimes i think i'm a good dancer.
- 00:12:26.133 --> 00:12:26.700
- I'm a good dancer. i'm going to show you.
- 00:12:26.767 --> 00:12:27.501
- I'm going to show you. and they say, "dad, you're not
- 00:12:27.568 --> 00:12:28.235
- And they say, "dad, you're not a good dancer at all."
- 00:12:28.302 --> 00:12:31.038
- A good dancer at all." but if you push
- 00:12:31.104 --> 00:12:31.605
- But if you push and push and push you,
- 00:12:31.672 --> 00:12:32.206
- And push and push you, you exasperate,
- 00:12:32.272 --> 00:12:33.040
- You exasperate, which is a word that means
- 00:12:33.106 --> 00:12:34.141
- Which is a word that means we unnecessarily provoke
- 00:12:34.208 --> 00:12:35.642
- We unnecessarily provoke our children to anger, right?
- 00:12:35.709 --> 00:12:38.779
- Our children to anger, right? sometimes our kids are
- 00:12:38.846 --> 00:12:39.513
- Sometimes our kids are going to get angry because
- 00:12:39.580 --> 00:12:40.113
- Going to get angry because they don't like our authority.
- 00:12:40.180 --> 00:12:41.215
- They don't like our authority. but so many times
- 00:12:41.281 --> 00:12:41.882
- But so many times the kids get angry,
- 00:12:41.949 --> 00:12:42.583
- The kids get angry, not because of what we say,
- 00:12:42.649 --> 00:12:44.017
- Not because of what we say, but when or how we say it.
- 00:12:44.084 --> 00:12:48.856
- But when or how we say it. and so to be a parent
- 00:12:48.922 --> 00:12:49.590
- And so to be a parent who's humble,
- 00:12:49.656 --> 00:12:50.390
- Who's humble, who just doesn't say, well,
- 00:12:50.457 --> 00:12:51.391
- Who just doesn't say, well, i want to talk about this now,
- 00:12:51.458 --> 00:12:52.326
- I want to talk about this now, so i'm going to talk about it.
- 00:12:52.392 --> 00:12:53.727
- So i'm going to talk about it. but to be humble,
- 00:12:53.794 --> 00:12:54.528
- But to be humble, i have to say i'm going
- 00:12:54.595 --> 00:12:55.295
- I have to say i'm going to try to choose the best time
- 00:12:55.362 --> 00:12:56.163
- To try to choose the best time and the best way to say
- 00:12:56.230 --> 00:12:58.498
- And the best way to say the thing that needs to be said.
- 00:12:58.565 --> 00:13:02.169
- The thing that needs to be said. now, we've got a lot
- 00:13:02.236 --> 00:13:02.803
- Now, we've got a lot to do as parents.
- 00:13:02.870 --> 00:13:03.303
- To do as parents. and so we just want to have
- 00:13:03.370 --> 00:13:04.171
- And so we just want to have the conversation fast.
- 00:13:04.238 --> 00:13:05.439
- The conversation fast. but wise parents
- 00:13:05.505 --> 00:13:06.406
- But wise parents and humble parents
- 00:13:06.473 --> 00:13:08.175
- And humble parents think about exasperating
- 00:13:08.242 --> 00:13:09.243
- Think about exasperating their children.
- 00:13:09.309 --> 00:13:09.810
- Their children. they want to, they want
- 00:13:09.877 --> 00:13:10.611
- They want to, they want to train their children up.
- 00:13:10.677 --> 00:13:11.378
- To train their children up. they want to give them
- 00:13:11.445 --> 00:13:12.546
- They want to give them the best possible chance
- 00:13:12.613 --> 00:13:13.413
- The best possible chance to hear and to respond
- 00:13:13.480 --> 00:13:14.848
- To hear and to respond to our authority as parents.
- 00:13:14.915 --> 00:13:17.618
- To our authority as parents. all of it in ephesians 5 and 6
- 00:13:17.684 --> 00:13:19.753
- All of it in ephesians 5 and 6 takes lots and lots of humility.
- 00:13:19.820 --> 00:13:23.924
- Takes lots and lots of humility. two thousand years ago,
- 00:13:23.991 --> 00:13:24.491
- Two thousand years ago, jesus said those who humble
- 00:13:24.558 --> 00:13:25.492
- Jesus said those who humble themselves will be exalted.
- 00:13:25.559 --> 00:13:28.795
- Themselves will be exalted. and that timeless principle
- 00:13:28.862 --> 00:13:29.830
- And that timeless principle applies to marriage
- 00:13:29.897 --> 00:13:30.731
- Applies to marriage and family too.
- 00:13:30.797 --> 00:13:31.865
- And family too. i hope you do,
- 00:13:31.932 --> 00:13:33.734
- I hope you do, because i've learned
- 00:13:33.800 --> 00:13:34.201
- Because i've learned that humble families are
- 00:13:34.268 --> 00:13:36.003
- That humble families are the happiest families.
- 00:13:36.069 --> 00:13:43.777
- The happiest families. which brings us to
- 00:13:43.844 --> 00:13:44.278
- Which brings us to the second thing i want to
- 00:13:44.344 --> 00:13:45.078
- The second thing i want to talk to you about today.
- 00:13:45.145 --> 00:13:47.047
- Talk to you about today. communication.
- 00:13:47.114 --> 00:13:49.549
- Communication. grab a pen and write
- 00:13:49.616 --> 00:13:50.217
- Grab a pen and write this down too.
- 00:13:50.284 --> 00:13:51.652
- This down too. i've also learned
- 00:13:51.718 --> 00:13:52.686
- I've also learned that the happiest families
- 00:13:52.753 --> 00:13:54.021
- That the happiest families know how to talk.
- 00:13:54.087 --> 00:13:58.025
- Know how to talk. i've been thinking about
- 00:13:58.091 --> 00:13:58.525
- I've been thinking about this a lot actually,
- 00:13:58.592 --> 00:13:59.026
- This a lot actually, in the last year,
- 00:13:59.092 --> 00:14:00.527
- In the last year, and i've realized
- 00:14:00.594 --> 00:14:01.395
- And i've realized that when you go to
- 00:14:01.461 --> 00:14:02.095
- That when you go to a family gathering
- 00:14:02.162 --> 00:14:03.463
- A family gathering or a cousin's birthday party
- 00:14:03.530 --> 00:14:06.099
- Or a cousin's birthday party or the traditional
- 00:14:06.166 --> 00:14:06.700
- Or the traditional thanksgiving meal,
- 00:14:06.767 --> 00:14:08.101
- Thanksgiving meal, i have a hunch that you
- 00:14:08.168 --> 00:14:09.036
- I have a hunch that you don't connect with people
- 00:14:09.102 --> 00:14:10.470
- Don't connect with people just because you share genetics
- 00:14:10.537 --> 00:14:14.074
- Just because you share genetics or the same last name.
- 00:14:14.141 --> 00:14:16.610
- Or the same last name. i bet you connect
- 00:14:16.677 --> 00:14:17.210
- I bet you connect with the people in your family
- 00:14:17.277 --> 00:14:18.145
- With the people in your family that know how to talk.
- 00:14:18.211 --> 00:14:21.949
- That know how to talk. you don't have to name names,
- 00:14:22.015 --> 00:14:22.683
- You don't have to name names, but when you go to
- 00:14:22.749 --> 00:14:23.283
- But when you go to family gatherings,
- 00:14:23.350 --> 00:14:23.884
- Family gatherings, are there some people
- 00:14:23.951 --> 00:14:25.052
- Are there some people you end up sitting
- 00:14:25.118 --> 00:14:25.552
- You end up sitting next to every party
- 00:14:25.619 --> 00:14:27.020
- Next to every party and some people you try
- 00:14:27.087 --> 00:14:27.721
- And some people you try to avoid as much as possible?
- 00:14:27.788 --> 00:14:31.058
- To avoid as much as possible? i've actually noticed
- 00:14:31.124 --> 00:14:31.658
- I've actually noticed that about church too,
- 00:14:31.725 --> 00:14:32.726
- That about church too, that even our shared faith
- 00:14:32.793 --> 00:14:34.161
- That even our shared faith in jesus and commitment
- 00:14:34.227 --> 00:14:35.062
- In jesus and commitment to the bible doesn't mean
- 00:14:35.128 --> 00:14:36.163
- To the bible doesn't mean we're all going to bond.
- 00:14:36.229 --> 00:14:37.698
- We're all going to bond. so often the people
- 00:14:37.764 --> 00:14:38.532
- So often the people that you are kind of drawn
- 00:14:38.598 --> 00:14:40.067
- That you are kind of drawn to and the people you have
- 00:14:40.133 --> 00:14:40.867
- To and the people you have to like talk yourself into
- 00:14:40.934 --> 00:14:41.668
- To like talk yourself into talking to are the people
- 00:14:41.735 --> 00:14:42.836
- Talking to are the people who know how to talk.
- 00:14:42.903 --> 00:14:45.305
- Who know how to talk. so this begs the question,
- 00:14:45.372 --> 00:14:47.908
- So this begs the question, how do you talk?
- 00:14:47.975 --> 00:14:51.311
- How do you talk? thanks for asking.
- 00:14:51.378 --> 00:14:53.347
- Thanks for asking. i'd like to unveil to you,
- 00:14:53.413 --> 00:14:54.381
- I'd like to unveil to you, for the very first time
- 00:14:54.448 --> 00:14:55.182
- For the very first time in our church's history,
- 00:14:55.248 --> 00:14:56.650
- In our church's history, the how to talk box.
- 00:14:56.717 --> 00:15:02.255
- The how to talk box. you don't seem impressed.
- 00:15:02.322 --> 00:15:03.590
- You don't seem impressed. i didn't make this.
- 00:15:03.657 --> 00:15:04.324
- I didn't make this. believe it or not,
- 00:15:04.391 --> 00:15:04.992
- Believe it or not, this was made by my friend
- 00:15:05.058 --> 00:15:05.993
- This was made by my friend and former co-worker,
- 00:15:06.059 --> 00:15:06.793
- And former co-worker, tom plummen.
- 00:15:06.860 --> 00:15:08.028
- Tom plummen. i've realized that
- 00:15:08.095 --> 00:15:08.562
- I've realized that as i think about
- 00:15:08.628 --> 00:15:09.429
- As i think about conversations with my parents
- 00:15:09.496 --> 00:15:11.131
- Conversations with my parents or with my brother
- 00:15:11.198 --> 00:15:11.765
- Or with my brother or with my own children,
- 00:15:11.832 --> 00:15:13.166
- Or with my own children, that a good talk
- 00:15:13.233 --> 00:15:14.368
- That a good talk comes down to four things.
- 00:15:14.434 --> 00:15:16.069
- Comes down to four things. and if you and i can check
- 00:15:16.136 --> 00:15:17.070
- And if you and i can check these boxes in more of
- 00:15:17.137 --> 00:15:18.071
- These boxes in more of our relationships,
- 00:15:18.138 --> 00:15:19.272
- Our relationships, i can almost guarantee
- 00:15:19.339 --> 00:15:19.973
- I can almost guarantee that the relationship
- 00:15:20.040 --> 00:15:20.941
- That the relationship will get better
- 00:15:21.008 --> 00:15:21.541
- Will get better and better and better.
- 00:15:21.608 --> 00:15:22.576
- And better and better. so how do you talk?
- 00:15:22.642 --> 00:15:23.343
- So how do you talk? you start with...
- 00:15:23.410 --> 00:15:25.245
- You start with... with me.
- 00:15:25.312 --> 00:15:29.483
- With me. you ever tried to talk to
- 00:15:29.549 --> 00:15:30.217
- You ever tried to talk to someone and they don't talk?
- 00:15:30.283 --> 00:15:34.654
- Someone and they don't talk? "how was your day?"
- 00:15:34.721 --> 00:15:37.157
- "how was your day?" "fine."
- 00:15:37.224 --> 00:15:40.160
- "fine." "kids, what was --
- 00:15:40.227 --> 00:15:40.927
- "kids, what was -- tell me the best part
- 00:15:40.994 --> 00:15:41.528
- Tell me the best part about school."
- 00:15:41.595 --> 00:15:44.297
- About school." "lunch."
- 00:15:44.364 --> 00:15:47.834
- "lunch." "sweetie,
- 00:15:47.901 --> 00:15:48.101
- "sweetie, how was work?"
- 00:15:48.168 --> 00:15:50.003
- How was work?" "meh."
- 00:15:50.070 --> 00:15:53.740
- "meh." good talk.
- 00:15:53.807 --> 00:15:54.408
- Good talk. i feel really close
- 00:15:54.474 --> 00:15:54.908
- I feel really close to you right now.
- 00:15:54.975 --> 00:15:56.510
- To you right now. no, actually,
- 00:15:56.576 --> 00:15:56.877
- No, actually, i want you to look at the person
- 00:15:56.943 --> 00:15:57.844
- I want you to look at the person next to you right now.
- 00:15:57.911 --> 00:15:58.712
- Next to you right now. all right, look them
- 00:15:58.779 --> 00:15:59.212
- All right, look them right in the eye
- 00:15:59.279 --> 00:16:00.147
- Right in the eye and repeat after me.
- 00:16:00.213 --> 00:16:01.081
- And repeat after me. say, "you are not god."
- 00:16:01.148 --> 00:16:05.118
- Say, "you are not god." okay, do you know
- 00:16:05.185 --> 00:16:05.619
- Okay, do you know what that means?
- 00:16:05.685 --> 00:16:06.753
- What that means? that means the person
- 00:16:06.820 --> 00:16:07.254
- That means the person who is not god
- 00:16:07.320 --> 00:16:08.221
- Who is not god sitting next to you
- 00:16:08.288 --> 00:16:09.089
- Sitting next to you does not know what's
- 00:16:09.156 --> 00:16:09.723
- Does not know what's happening in your heart
- 00:16:09.790 --> 00:16:10.490
- Happening in your heart unless you talk, right?
- 00:16:10.557 --> 00:16:14.094
- Unless you talk, right? they're not jesus,
- 00:16:14.161 --> 00:16:15.162
- They're not jesus, they can't read your thoughts.
- 00:16:15.228 --> 00:16:16.630
- They can't read your thoughts. and so you have to --
- 00:16:16.696 --> 00:16:17.697
- And so you have to -- that doesn't mean you have
- 00:16:17.764 --> 00:16:18.765
- That doesn't mean you have to become an extrovert
- 00:16:18.832 --> 00:16:19.766
- To become an extrovert who loves talking in front
- 00:16:19.833 --> 00:16:20.934
- Who loves talking in front of big crowds of people.
- 00:16:21.001 --> 00:16:21.935
- Of big crowds of people. it it simply means that
- 00:16:22.002 --> 00:16:22.602
- It it simply means that if we're going to know
- 00:16:22.669 --> 00:16:23.236
- If we're going to know what you want,
- 00:16:23.303 --> 00:16:24.137
- What you want, what you think,
- 00:16:24.204 --> 00:16:25.272
- What you think, what you're frustrated
- 00:16:25.338 --> 00:16:26.640
- What you're frustrated about in marriage,
- 00:16:26.706 --> 00:16:27.507
- About in marriage, what you love most
- 00:16:27.574 --> 00:16:28.241
- What you love most about your husband.
- 00:16:28.308 --> 00:16:30.310
- About your husband. couples, when it comes to
- 00:16:30.377 --> 00:16:31.878
- Couples, when it comes to all kinds of communication,
- 00:16:31.945 --> 00:16:32.913
- All kinds of communication, when it comes to intimacy,
- 00:16:32.979 --> 00:16:33.980
- When it comes to intimacy, when it comes to finances,
- 00:16:34.047 --> 00:16:34.981
- When it comes to finances, people don't know
- 00:16:35.048 --> 00:16:35.849
- People don't know what you think,
- 00:16:35.916 --> 00:16:36.349
- What you think, what you want,
- 00:16:36.416 --> 00:16:36.850
- What you want, what you prefer,
- 00:16:36.917 --> 00:16:37.818
- What you prefer, what annoys you
- 00:16:37.884 --> 00:16:38.385
- What annoys you unless you talk.
- 00:16:38.452 --> 00:16:39.453
- Unless you talk. so you have to talk.
- 00:16:39.519 --> 00:16:41.521
- So you have to talk. but have you ever
- 00:16:41.588 --> 00:16:42.022
- But have you ever talked with someone
- 00:16:42.089 --> 00:16:42.722
- Talked with someone who talked and talked
- 00:16:42.789 --> 00:16:45.625
- Who talked and talked and talked and talked,
- 00:16:45.692 --> 00:16:49.296
- And talked and talked, and you're just wishing some
- 00:16:49.362 --> 00:16:50.163
- And you're just wishing some little kid at church
- 00:16:50.230 --> 00:16:50.931
- Little kid at church would just pull the fire alarm
- 00:16:50.997 --> 00:16:51.698
- Would just pull the fire alarm so you'd have an out
- 00:16:51.765 --> 00:16:52.399
- So you'd have an out to the conversation?
- 00:16:52.466 --> 00:16:53.834
- To the conversation? no, a good conversation
- 00:16:53.900 --> 00:16:54.601
- No, a good conversation isn't about you.
- 00:16:54.668 --> 00:16:55.302
- Isn't about you. anyone want to guess
- 00:16:55.368 --> 00:16:55.936
- Anyone want to guess what's here?
- 00:16:56.002 --> 00:16:57.771
- What's here? it's me and you.
- 00:16:57.838 --> 00:16:59.306
- It's me and you. it's talking and it's listening.
- 00:16:59.372 --> 00:17:01.842
- It's talking and it's listening. this is harder for some of us
- 00:17:01.908 --> 00:17:03.009
- This is harder for some of us than you would think.
- 00:17:03.076 --> 00:17:05.045
- Than you would think. where are the verbal
- 00:17:05.112 --> 00:17:05.645
- Where are the verbal processors in the room?
- 00:17:05.712 --> 00:17:06.680
- Processors in the room? i got my hand up nice and high.
- 00:17:06.746 --> 00:17:07.948
- I got my hand up nice and high. any of you like to talk
- 00:17:08.014 --> 00:17:08.715
- Any of you like to talk like i do?
- 00:17:08.782 --> 00:17:09.816
- Like i do? i can talk and talk
- 00:17:09.883 --> 00:17:10.917
- I can talk and talk and tell you a story
- 00:17:10.984 --> 00:17:11.718
- And tell you a story and then a second story
- 00:17:11.785 --> 00:17:12.586
- And then a second story and then a third story,
- 00:17:12.652 --> 00:17:14.454
- And then a third story, and then i can ask you
- 00:17:14.521 --> 00:17:15.288
- And then i can ask you what you think and you
- 00:17:15.355 --> 00:17:16.256
- What you think and you can talk for four seconds.
- 00:17:16.323 --> 00:17:17.190
- Can talk for four seconds. and that reminds me
- 00:17:17.257 --> 00:17:17.724
- And that reminds me of another story
- 00:17:17.791 --> 00:17:18.325
- Of another story that i forgot to tell you about.
- 00:17:18.391 --> 00:17:19.759
- That i forgot to tell you about. some people talk and talk
- 00:17:19.826 --> 00:17:20.694
- Some people talk and talk and talk and talk
- 00:17:20.760 --> 00:17:21.261
- And talk and talk and talk and talk and talk.
- 00:17:21.328 --> 00:17:24.698
- And talk and talk and talk. and you just want to run, right?
- 00:17:24.764 --> 00:17:26.700
- And you just want to run, right? so good conversations
- 00:17:26.766 --> 00:17:27.601
- So good conversations are me and you.
- 00:17:27.667 --> 00:17:29.169
- Are me and you. i'm going to talk,
- 00:17:29.236 --> 00:17:30.070
- I'm going to talk, i'm going to open up
- 00:17:30.137 --> 00:17:31.471
- I'm going to open up and then i'm going to do
- 00:17:31.538 --> 00:17:32.205
- And then i'm going to do the hard humbling work
- 00:17:32.272 --> 00:17:33.073
- The hard humbling work of asking you questions like,
- 00:17:33.140 --> 00:17:34.541
- Of asking you questions like, "hey, tell me more about that."
- 00:17:34.608 --> 00:17:35.709
- "hey, tell me more about that." or, "wow, that sounds
- 00:17:35.775 --> 00:17:37.677
- Or, "wow, that sounds crazy difficult."
- 00:17:37.744 --> 00:17:39.012
- Crazy difficult." "like, man, what was that like
- 00:17:39.079 --> 00:17:41.715
- "like, man, what was that like going through that?"
- 00:17:41.781 --> 00:17:42.415
- Going through that?" like, i'm talking
- 00:17:42.482 --> 00:17:43.783
- Like, i'm talking and i'm listening.
- 00:17:43.850 --> 00:17:44.518
- And i'm listening. i'm using my mouth
- 00:17:44.584 --> 00:17:45.118
- I'm using my mouth and i'm using my ears.
- 00:17:45.185 --> 00:17:45.919
- And i'm using my ears. we're talking about me and you,
- 00:17:45.986 --> 00:17:48.355
- We're talking about me and you, and what we're talking,
- 00:17:48.421 --> 00:17:49.222
- And what we're talking, not a mute and not a monologue.
- 00:17:49.289 --> 00:17:52.025
- Not a mute and not a monologue. what do we talk about?
- 00:17:52.092 --> 00:17:54.694
- What do we talk about? well, that's what the last
- 00:17:54.761 --> 00:17:55.328
- Well, that's what the last two boxes are for.
- 00:17:55.395 --> 00:17:55.829
- Two boxes are for. we talk about good stuff
- 00:17:55.896 --> 00:17:58.165
- We talk about good stuff and we talk about bad stuff.
- 00:17:58.231 --> 00:18:03.203
- And we talk about bad stuff. we talk about the highs
- 00:18:03.270 --> 00:18:03.904
- We talk about the highs and the lows.
- 00:18:03.970 --> 00:18:06.273
- And the lows. yes, so much in the world
- 00:18:06.339 --> 00:18:07.741
- Yes, so much in the world is messed up and broken,
- 00:18:07.807 --> 00:18:08.942
- Is messed up and broken, but there's a lot of good.
- 00:18:09.009 --> 00:18:09.676
- But there's a lot of good. this is the day
- 00:18:09.743 --> 00:18:10.377
- This is the day the lord has made,
- 00:18:10.443 --> 00:18:11.077
- The lord has made, and we will rejoice in it.
- 00:18:11.144 --> 00:18:12.479
- And we will rejoice in it. every good and perfect gift
- 00:18:12.546 --> 00:18:13.547
- Every good and perfect gift comes from above,
- 00:18:13.613 --> 00:18:14.381
- Comes from above, and we're going to
- 00:18:14.447 --> 00:18:14.915
- And we're going to celebrate that.
- 00:18:14.981 --> 00:18:15.515
- Celebrate that. i can't just, like,
- 00:18:15.582 --> 00:18:16.583
- I can't just, like, mope in depression 24/7.
- 00:18:16.650 --> 00:18:18.552
- Mope in depression 24/7. god's been too good
- 00:18:18.618 --> 00:18:19.186
- God's been too good to me to stay there.
- 00:18:19.252 --> 00:18:20.520
- To me to stay there. but you've ever met
- 00:18:20.587 --> 00:18:21.221
- But you've ever met a person who, like,
- 00:18:21.288 --> 00:18:21.721
- A person who, like, everything is good
- 00:18:21.788 --> 00:18:22.622
- Everything is good and they never, like,
- 00:18:22.689 --> 00:18:23.223
- And they never, like, get transparent and vulnerable.
- 00:18:23.290 --> 00:18:25.392
- Get transparent and vulnerable. and they're nice,
- 00:18:25.458 --> 00:18:25.825
- And they're nice, but you never feel like that
- 00:18:25.892 --> 00:18:26.826
- But you never feel like that close and connected to them
- 00:18:26.893 --> 00:18:27.661
- Close and connected to them 'cause you know about
- 00:18:27.727 --> 00:18:28.528
- 'cause you know about all your stuff, man.
- 00:18:28.595 --> 00:18:30.330
- All your stuff, man. so when we talk about the bad
- 00:18:30.397 --> 00:18:31.264
- So when we talk about the bad and don't deny that there are
- 00:18:31.331 --> 00:18:32.432
- And don't deny that there are hard things in life,
- 00:18:32.499 --> 00:18:33.200
- Hard things in life, that there's sins
- 00:18:33.266 --> 00:18:34.000
- That there's sins that we still struggle with
- 00:18:34.067 --> 00:18:35.368
- That we still struggle with as followers of jesus,
- 00:18:35.435 --> 00:18:36.303
- As followers of jesus, that just has a superpower
- 00:18:36.369 --> 00:18:38.305
- That just has a superpower to connect us to other people.
- 00:18:38.371 --> 00:18:39.806
- To connect us to other people. i can't think of a single person
- 00:18:39.873 --> 00:18:41.741
- I can't think of a single person that listens to me
- 00:18:41.808 --> 00:18:43.043
- That listens to me and that i listen to,
- 00:18:43.109 --> 00:18:44.578
- And that i listen to, that we both open up
- 00:18:44.644 --> 00:18:45.912
- That we both open up to celebrate the goodness
- 00:18:45.979 --> 00:18:46.746
- To celebrate the goodness of god in our life
- 00:18:46.813 --> 00:18:47.380
- Of god in our life and the hard things
- 00:18:47.447 --> 00:18:48.248
- And the hard things that we're going --
- 00:18:48.315 --> 00:18:49.082
- That we're going -- i cannot think of a single
- 00:18:49.149 --> 00:18:49.950
- I cannot think of a single relationship where people
- 00:18:50.016 --> 00:18:51.384
- Relationship where people know how to talk,
- 00:18:51.451 --> 00:18:52.118
- Know how to talk, that it's not
- 00:18:52.185 --> 00:18:52.586
- That it's not close and connected.
- 00:18:52.652 --> 00:18:54.421
- Close and connected. so say a prayer this week.
- 00:18:54.487 --> 00:18:55.188
- So say a prayer this week. ask god to open your mind
- 00:18:55.255 --> 00:18:57.557
- Ask god to open your mind that the next time
- 00:18:57.624 --> 00:18:58.058
- That the next time you open your mouth
- 00:18:58.124 --> 00:18:58.758
- You open your mouth and your ears,
- 00:18:58.825 --> 00:18:59.125
- And your ears, you would know how to talk.
- 00:18:59.192 --> 00:19:05.966
- You would know how to talk. which brings us to
- 00:19:06.032 --> 00:19:06.466
- Which brings us to the last thing
- 00:19:06.533 --> 00:19:06.933
- The last thing i want to say to you today.
- 00:19:07.000 --> 00:19:09.603
- I want to say to you today. jesus.
- 00:19:09.669 --> 00:19:12.205
- Jesus. grab a pen.
- 00:19:12.272 --> 00:19:12.906
- Grab a pen. write this down.
- 00:19:12.973 --> 00:19:13.540
- Write this down. jesus is offering
- 00:19:13.607 --> 00:19:14.341
- Jesus is offering all of us today
- 00:19:14.407 --> 00:19:14.941
- All of us today the best family ever.
- 00:19:15.008 --> 00:19:22.115
- The best family ever. it's kind of heartbreaking thing
- 00:19:22.182 --> 00:19:23.483
- It's kind of heartbreaking thing that even if we humble ourselves
- 00:19:23.550 --> 00:19:25.118
- That even if we humble ourselves and even if we work
- 00:19:25.185 --> 00:19:25.885
- And even if we work on our communication,
- 00:19:25.952 --> 00:19:26.820
- On our communication, there are some relationships
- 00:19:26.886 --> 00:19:27.787
- There are some relationships that we just can't fix.
- 00:19:27.854 --> 00:19:29.956
- That we just can't fix. and this is why i am so relieved
- 00:19:30.023 --> 00:19:32.025
- And i have so much peace
- 00:19:32.125 --> 00:19:33.093
- In knowing that
- 00:19:33.159 --> 00:19:33.660
- Because of jesus,
- 00:19:33.727 --> 00:19:35.629
- I am part of
- 00:19:35.695 --> 00:19:36.129
- The best family ever.
- 00:19:36.196 --> 00:19:38.865
- And if you have faith
- 00:19:38.932 --> 00:19:39.466
- In jesus, you are too.
- 00:19:39.532 --> 00:19:42.402
- Let me share just one
- 00:19:42.502 --> 00:19:43.069
- Let me share just one last scripture with you
- 00:19:43.136 --> 00:19:43.837
- Last scripture with you from galatians 4,
- 00:19:43.903 --> 00:19:47.040
- From galatians 4, where the apostle paul
- 00:19:47.107 --> 00:19:47.707
- Said this,
- 00:19:47.807 --> 00:19:49.943
- Said this, "but when the set time
- 00:19:50.010 --> 00:19:50.810
- "but when the set time had fully come,
- 00:19:50.877 --> 00:19:51.544
- Had fully come, god sent his son,
- 00:19:51.611 --> 00:19:54.714
- God sent his son, born of a woman,
- 00:19:54.781 --> 00:19:57.083
- Born of a woman, born under the law,
- 00:19:57.150 --> 00:19:57.951
- Born under the law, to redeem those under the law,
- 00:19:58.018 --> 00:19:59.185
- To redeem those under the law, that we might receive
- 00:19:59.252 --> 00:19:59.853
- That we might receive adoption to sonship.
- 00:19:59.919 --> 00:20:02.355
- Adoption to sonship. because you are his sons,
- 00:20:02.422 --> 00:20:04.090
- Because you are his sons, god spent the spirit
- 00:20:04.157 --> 00:20:04.758
- God spent the spirit of his son into our hearts,
- 00:20:04.824 --> 00:20:05.925
- Of his son into our hearts, the spirit who
- 00:20:05.992 --> 00:20:06.426
- The spirit who calls out abba father.
- 00:20:06.493 --> 00:20:08.228
- Calls out abba father. so you are no longer a slave,
- 00:20:08.295 --> 00:20:09.829
- So you are no longer a slave, but god's child.
- 00:20:09.896 --> 00:20:11.264
- But god's child. and since you are his child,
- 00:20:11.331 --> 00:20:14.434
- And since you are his child, god has also made you an heir."
- 00:20:14.501 --> 00:20:17.971
- There's this god
- 00:20:18.071 --> 00:20:18.672
- There's this god who had just one son,
- 00:20:18.738 --> 00:20:20.640
- Who had just one son, the father and his son jesus
- 00:20:20.707 --> 00:20:22.108
- The father and his son jesus would live together
- 00:20:22.175 --> 00:20:22.676
- Would live together for all of eternity.
- 00:20:22.742 --> 00:20:24.144
- For all of eternity. and their love for you
- 00:20:24.210 --> 00:20:25.879
- And their love for you being part of their family
- 00:20:25.945 --> 00:20:26.646
- Being part of their family was so profound
- 00:20:26.713 --> 00:20:27.781
- Was so profound and great that god sent
- 00:20:27.847 --> 00:20:29.349
- And great that god sent his son to be born of a woman.
- 00:20:29.416 --> 00:20:32.185
- His son to be born of a woman. what we celebrate at christmas.
- 00:20:32.252 --> 00:20:34.621
- What we celebrate at christmas. and because jesus was born
- 00:20:34.688 --> 00:20:35.722
- And because jesus was born of a woman all these years ago,
- 00:20:35.789 --> 00:20:36.890
- Of a woman all these years ago, what happened?
- 00:20:36.956 --> 00:20:38.491
- What happened? it says he redeemed
- 00:20:38.558 --> 00:20:39.359
- It says he redeemed those under the law
- 00:20:39.426 --> 00:20:42.128
- Those under the law that we might receive
- 00:20:42.195 --> 00:20:42.929
- That we might receive adoption to sonship.
- 00:20:42.996 --> 00:20:44.564
- Adoption to sonship. that's dense bible language
- 00:20:44.631 --> 00:20:45.732
- That's dense bible language so stick with me.
- 00:20:45.799 --> 00:20:47.434
- So stick with me. the word redeem means to pay
- 00:20:47.500 --> 00:20:48.702
- The word redeem means to pay a price for something.
- 00:20:48.768 --> 00:20:51.638
- A price for something. this is a reference
- 00:20:51.705 --> 00:20:52.205
- This is a reference to the great price
- 00:20:52.272 --> 00:20:53.006
- To the great price that jesus paid
- 00:20:53.073 --> 00:20:53.573
- That jesus paid when he died on the cross.
- 00:20:53.640 --> 00:20:56.443
- When he died on the cross. like, jesus literally
- 00:20:56.509 --> 00:20:57.177
- Like, jesus literally could not --
- 00:20:57.243 --> 00:20:58.945
- Could not -- it was more worth it to him
- 00:20:59.012 --> 00:21:00.547
- It was more worth it to him to suffer and die
- 00:21:00.613 --> 00:21:01.681
- To suffer and die that you could be
- 00:21:01.748 --> 00:21:02.415
- That you could be part of god's family
- 00:21:02.482 --> 00:21:04.417
- Part of god's family than to stay comfortable
- 00:21:04.484 --> 00:21:05.418
- Than to stay comfortable up in heaven for you
- 00:21:05.485 --> 00:21:07.020
- Up in heaven for you not to be part of that family.
- 00:21:07.087 --> 00:21:10.123
- Not to be part of that family. the law of god,
- 00:21:10.190 --> 00:21:11.157
- The law of god, all those commands like
- 00:21:11.224 --> 00:21:11.991
- All those commands like be humble, be a good husband,
- 00:21:12.058 --> 00:21:14.027
- Be humble, be a good husband, be a respectful wife,
- 00:21:14.094 --> 00:21:15.328
- Be a respectful wife, obey your parents,
- 00:21:15.395 --> 00:21:16.363
- Obey your parents, don't exasperate your --
- 00:21:16.429 --> 00:21:17.464
- Don't exasperate your -- all those commands
- 00:21:17.530 --> 00:21:18.331
- All those commands which we had broken
- 00:21:18.398 --> 00:21:19.199
- Which we had broken hung over our head
- 00:21:19.265 --> 00:21:20.066
- Hung over our head and were about to crush
- 00:21:20.133 --> 00:21:21.167
- And were about to crush and condemn us.
- 00:21:21.234 --> 00:21:22.402
- And condemn us. but jesus came to redeem
- 00:21:22.469 --> 00:21:23.737
- But jesus came to redeem those under the law
- 00:21:23.803 --> 00:21:24.704
- Those under the law that we might receive
- 00:21:24.771 --> 00:21:25.638
- Adoption to sonship.
- 00:21:25.739 --> 00:21:28.375
- What a profound thought.
- 00:21:28.441 --> 00:21:32.712
- How wild it must have been
- 00:21:32.779 --> 00:21:34.748
- In the 1st century greek culture
- 00:21:34.814 --> 00:21:36.483
- To think of god as your father.
- 00:21:36.549 --> 00:21:40.053
- Not just as your judge
- 00:21:40.120 --> 00:21:41.121
- Or your lord or your king
- 00:21:41.187 --> 00:21:42.555
- Or your sovereign,
- 00:21:42.622 --> 00:21:43.189
- But your dad.
- 00:21:43.256 --> 00:21:45.959
- That's exactly what happened
- 00:21:46.025 --> 00:21:46.926
- When jesus forgave your sins.
- 00:21:46.993 --> 00:21:49.362
- It says we're adopted
- 00:21:49.429 --> 00:21:50.196
- The sonship
- 00:21:50.263 --> 00:21:50.563
- And because we are his sons,
- 00:21:50.630 --> 00:21:52.065
- God sent the holy spirit
- 00:21:52.132 --> 00:21:53.099
- Into our hearts
- 00:21:53.166 --> 00:21:54.000
- Who calls out abba father.
- 00:21:54.067 --> 00:21:57.804
- You're no longer a slave.
- 00:21:57.871 --> 00:21:59.773
- Paul says if you thought of
- 00:21:59.839 --> 00:22:00.507
- Yourself just as god's
- 00:22:00.573 --> 00:22:01.241
- Dinky little creation,
- 00:22:01.307 --> 00:22:02.175
- That's not who you are.
- 00:22:02.242 --> 00:22:03.009
- You are god's child
- 00:22:03.076 --> 00:22:05.812
- And since you are his child,
- 00:22:05.879 --> 00:22:06.646
- God has also made you an heir.
- 00:22:06.713 --> 00:22:08.948
- What a profound beautiful thing.
- 00:22:09.015 --> 00:22:11.684
- That however functional
- 00:22:11.785 --> 00:22:13.319
- That however functional or not your family is,
- 00:22:13.386 --> 00:22:15.021
- Or not your family is, you're a child of god.
- 00:22:15.088 --> 00:22:18.091
- You're a child of god. and maybe you are aching
- 00:22:18.158 --> 00:22:18.792
- And maybe you are aching for a perfect family,
- 00:22:18.858 --> 00:22:21.528
- For a perfect family, a great marriage,
- 00:22:21.594 --> 00:22:22.128
- A great marriage, a connection with your
- 00:22:22.195 --> 00:22:22.829
- A connection with your mom and dad.
- 00:22:22.896 --> 00:22:23.630
- Mom and dad. maybe you can get there,
- 00:22:23.696 --> 00:22:25.532
- Maybe you can get there, maybe you can't.
- 00:22:25.598 --> 00:22:27.967
- Maybe you can't. as much as it depends on you
- 00:22:28.034 --> 00:22:28.835
- As much as it depends on you if it is possible,
- 00:22:28.902 --> 00:22:30.336
- If it is possible, humble yourself and communicate
- 00:22:30.403 --> 00:22:32.172
- Humble yourself and communicate to have the kind of family
- 00:22:32.238 --> 00:22:32.939
- To have the kind of family that god wants us all to have.
- 00:22:33.006 --> 00:22:34.908
- That god wants us all to have. but whether that happens or not,
- 00:22:34.974 --> 00:22:37.076
- But whether that happens or not, whether they respond
- 00:22:37.143 --> 00:22:37.811
- Whether they respond to your call or not,
- 00:22:37.877 --> 00:22:38.745
- To your call or not, whether they humble themselves
- 00:22:38.812 --> 00:22:40.313
- Whether they humble themselves in response to your
- 00:22:40.380 --> 00:22:40.947
- In response to your humility or not, know this.
- 00:22:41.014 --> 00:22:44.017
- Humility or not, know this. that because of jesus,
- 00:22:44.083 --> 00:22:44.784
- That because of jesus, that there is a father
- 00:22:44.851 --> 00:22:45.418
- That there is a father waiting to see your face.
- 00:22:45.485 --> 00:22:47.987
- Waiting to see your face. who says that because
- 00:22:48.054 --> 00:22:48.588
- Who says that because the cross all is forgiven.
- 00:22:48.655 --> 00:22:51.357
- The cross all is forgiven. who says you can come home
- 00:22:51.424 --> 00:22:52.592
- Who says you can come home and enjoy a good meal
- 00:22:52.659 --> 00:22:53.693
- And enjoy a good meal around the kind of table
- 00:22:53.760 --> 00:22:54.427
- Around the kind of table that never ends.
- 00:22:54.494 --> 00:22:56.463
- That never ends. there's a feast that
- 00:22:56.529 --> 00:22:57.230
- There's a feast that he has laid out before you
- 00:22:57.297 --> 00:22:58.264
- He has laid out before you and he wants to look you
- 00:22:58.331 --> 00:22:58.998
- And he wants to look you in the eye and say,
- 00:22:59.065 --> 00:22:59.599
- In the eye and say, "you are my son,
- 00:22:59.666 --> 00:23:01.835
- "you are my son, my daughter, with you
- 00:23:01.901 --> 00:23:03.736
- My daughter, with you i'm so pleased."
- 00:23:03.803 --> 00:23:07.574
- I'm so pleased." let's fight for the best
- 00:23:07.640 --> 00:23:08.408
- Let's fight for the best families we can have on earth.
- 00:23:08.475 --> 00:23:10.443
- Families we can have on earth. but at the end of every day,
- 00:23:10.510 --> 00:23:11.311
- But at the end of every day, let's believe that
- 00:23:11.377 --> 00:23:11.945
- Let's believe that because of jesus,
- 00:23:12.011 --> 00:23:12.812
- Because of jesus, we're already part of
- 00:23:12.879 --> 00:23:13.413
- We're already part of the best family ever.
- 00:23:13.480 --> 00:23:17.917
- The best family ever. let's pray.
- 00:23:17.984 --> 00:23:19.452
- Let's pray. oh god, thank you
- 00:23:19.519 --> 00:23:19.986
- Oh god, thank you for the gift of family.
- 00:23:20.053 --> 00:23:22.288
- For the gift of family. few things have
- 00:23:22.355 --> 00:23:22.822
- Few things have challenged me or blessed me
- 00:23:22.889 --> 00:23:23.990
- Challenged me or blessed me more than my 21 years with kim
- 00:23:24.057 --> 00:23:28.461
- More than my 21 years with kim and these 15 or 16 years
- 00:23:28.528 --> 00:23:30.063
- And these 15 or 16 years with the girls.
- 00:23:30.129 --> 00:23:31.397
- With the girls. god, family, it brings
- 00:23:31.464 --> 00:23:33.733
- God, family, it brings joy into our lives.
- 00:23:33.800 --> 00:23:35.235
- Joy into our lives. it exposes us,
- 00:23:35.301 --> 00:23:36.503
- It exposes us, it confronts us
- 00:23:36.569 --> 00:23:38.204
- It confronts us and it fills us up
- 00:23:38.271 --> 00:23:39.172
- And it fills us up with happiness.
- 00:23:39.239 --> 00:23:41.174
- With happiness. and so, we really need
- 00:23:41.241 --> 00:23:41.808
- And so, we really need your help to have
- 00:23:41.875 --> 00:23:42.375
- Your help to have the best kind of families.
- 00:23:42.442 --> 00:23:45.011
- The best kind of families. it's really hard, god,
- 00:23:45.078 --> 00:23:45.879
- It's really hard, god, when there's a lot of history.
- 00:23:45.945 --> 00:23:46.613
- When there's a lot of history. and so i pray that
- 00:23:46.679 --> 00:23:47.780
- And so i pray that your holy spirit would come
- 00:23:47.847 --> 00:23:49.716
- Your holy spirit would come and not with timidity
- 00:23:49.782 --> 00:23:51.150
- And not with timidity and meekness,
- 00:23:51.217 --> 00:23:52.418
- And meekness, but with power
- 00:23:52.485 --> 00:23:52.986
- But with power and with self-control.
- 00:23:53.052 --> 00:23:55.755
- And with self-control. help us to be willing to be
- 00:23:55.822 --> 00:23:56.623
- Help us to be willing to be the first one to say something,
- 00:23:56.689 --> 00:23:58.725
- The first one to say something, the first one to reach out,
- 00:23:58.791 --> 00:24:00.493
- The first one to reach out, the first one to say sorry,
- 00:24:00.560 --> 00:24:01.528
- The first one to say sorry, the first one to forgive.
- 00:24:01.594 --> 00:24:03.830
- The first one to forgive. help us like your son did
- 00:24:03.897 --> 00:24:04.597
- Help us like your son did 2,000 years ago,
- 00:24:04.664 --> 00:24:05.398
- 2,000 years ago, to extend our arms,
- 00:24:05.465 --> 00:24:06.699
- To extend our arms, to reconcile our relationship
- 00:24:06.766 --> 00:24:07.967
- To reconcile our relationship at all costs.
- 00:24:08.034 --> 00:24:10.336
- At all costs. and god, for all the good
- 00:24:10.403 --> 00:24:11.437
- And god, for all the good families that are here,
- 00:24:11.504 --> 00:24:13.373
- Families that are here, for those who walked
- 00:24:13.439 --> 00:24:13.940
- For those who walked in to church today
- 00:24:14.007 --> 00:24:15.241
- In to church today laughing in the parking lot,
- 00:24:15.308 --> 00:24:16.743
- Laughing in the parking lot, for all those sitting close
- 00:24:16.809 --> 00:24:17.810
- For all those sitting close to each other on the couch
- 00:24:17.877 --> 00:24:19.445
- To each other on the couch watching today at home,
- 00:24:19.512 --> 00:24:20.380
- We thank and praise you.
- 00:24:20.480 --> 00:24:22.615
- Man, the devil hates
- 00:24:22.682 --> 00:24:23.483
- Connected families,
- 00:24:23.550 --> 00:24:24.651
- And you love them.
- 00:24:24.717 --> 00:24:26.519
- So thank you for all of
- 00:24:26.586 --> 00:24:27.654
- The grace, all the humility,
- 00:24:27.720 --> 00:24:28.855
- All the good communication
- 00:24:28.922 --> 00:24:29.856
- That led to this moment.
- 00:24:29.923 --> 00:24:30.757
- We thank and praise you
- 00:24:30.823 --> 00:24:31.391
- Because it is
- 00:24:31.457 --> 00:24:31.958
- A good gift from you.
- 00:24:32.025 --> 00:24:34.327
- And now god as your children,
- 00:24:34.394 --> 00:24:35.228
- We're praying boldly that
- 00:24:35.295 --> 00:24:36.129
- You would take good things
- 00:24:36.195 --> 00:24:37.096
- And make them great things.
- 00:24:37.163 --> 00:24:40.199
- We live in a world
- 00:24:40.266 --> 00:24:40.967
- That turns inward on itself
- 00:24:41.034 --> 00:24:42.735
- And lives out of its own pride,
- 00:24:42.802 --> 00:24:44.604
- That's following its heart
- 00:24:44.671 --> 00:24:45.538
- And its truth.
- 00:24:45.605 --> 00:24:46.139
- You've called us to
- 00:24:46.205 --> 00:24:46.806
- Something so much better,
- 00:24:46.873 --> 00:24:48.174
- And it's going to shine
- 00:24:48.241 --> 00:24:48.942
- Brightly in this dark world.
- 00:24:49.008 --> 00:24:51.444
- So god, may our families catch
- 00:24:51.511 --> 00:24:52.845
- The attention of our neighbors.
- 00:24:52.912 --> 00:24:55.648
- May the laughter they hear
- 00:24:55.715 --> 00:24:56.783
- Floating out from our windows
- 00:24:56.849 --> 00:24:58.918
- Catch their ears and draw them
- 00:24:58.985 --> 00:25:00.420
- Closer to your son, jesus.
- 00:25:00.486 --> 00:25:03.189
- I mean, what jesus did
- 00:25:03.256 --> 00:25:04.057
- For us 2,000 years ago
- 00:25:04.123 --> 00:25:04.657
- Bring us a peace
- 00:25:04.724 --> 00:25:05.191
- That goes beyond understanding.
- 00:25:05.258 --> 00:25:07.794
- God, you're not just god,
- 00:25:07.860 --> 00:25:08.695
- You are our father in heaven.
- 00:25:08.761 --> 00:25:11.097
- And because of your son's
- 00:25:11.164 --> 00:25:11.831
- Unconditional love,
- 00:25:11.898 --> 00:25:12.632
- We can run to you
- 00:25:12.699 --> 00:25:13.466
- As our father again
- 00:25:13.533 --> 00:25:14.567
- And again and again
- 00:25:14.634 --> 00:25:16.903
- And again and again.
- 00:25:16.970 --> 00:25:18.004
- We love our relationship
- 00:25:18.071 --> 00:25:18.738
- With you, god.
- 00:25:18.805 --> 00:25:19.138
- Thank you for it.
- 00:25:19.205 --> 00:25:20.707
- We pray it all today
- 00:25:20.773 --> 00:25:21.574
- In the name of
- 00:25:21.641 --> 00:25:22.442
- Our redeemer jesus christ,
- 00:25:22.508 --> 00:25:23.710
- And all god's children said,
- 00:25:23.776 --> 00:25:26.112
- Amen.
- 00:25:26.179 --> 00:25:26.579
- >> what a wonderful message.
- 00:25:27.413 --> 00:25:28.848
- >> what a wonderful message. let's remember to approach
- 00:25:28.915 --> 00:25:29.949
- Let's remember to approach our family with great humility
- 00:25:30.016 --> 00:25:31.718
- Our family with great humility and a good deal
- 00:25:31.784 --> 00:25:32.352
- And a good deal of communication
- 00:25:32.418 --> 00:25:33.353
- Of communication as we work on these
- 00:25:33.419 --> 00:25:34.320
- As we work on these family relationships
- 00:25:34.387 --> 00:25:35.421
- Family relationships that shape us.
- 00:25:35.488 --> 00:25:36.823
- That shape us. i want to tell you
- 00:25:36.889 --> 00:25:37.590
- I want to tell you about a new book
- 00:25:37.657 --> 00:25:38.191
- About a new book i just wrote.
- 00:25:38.257 --> 00:25:39.225
- I just wrote. it's called,
- 00:25:39.292 --> 00:25:39.759
- It's called, "when friendship feels hard,
- 00:25:39.826 --> 00:25:41.461
- "when friendship feels hard, god's design for
- 00:25:41.527 --> 00:25:42.362
- God's design for deep relationships."
- 00:25:42.428 --> 00:25:43.997
- Deep relationships." in my new book,
- 00:25:44.063 --> 00:25:44.797
- In my new book, i talk about how
- 00:25:44.864 --> 00:25:45.465
- I talk about how christ centered relationships
- 00:25:45.531 --> 00:25:46.833
- Christ centered relationships anchor you in hard times
- 00:25:46.899 --> 00:25:48.267
- Anchor you in hard times and remind you you're never
- 00:25:48.334 --> 00:25:49.535
- And remind you you're never meant to walk alone.
- 00:25:49.602 --> 00:25:51.004
- Meant to walk alone. request your copy
- 00:25:51.070 --> 00:25:52.038
- Request your copy with your gift
- 00:25:52.105 --> 00:25:52.639
- With your gift to time of grace.
- 00:25:52.705 --> 00:25:53.673
- To time of grace. here's a little more
- 00:25:53.740 --> 00:25:54.374
- Here's a little more about it.
- 00:25:54.440 --> 00:25:54.874
- >> you scroll,
- 00:25:55.908 --> 00:25:56.876
- You follow,
- 00:25:56.943 --> 00:25:57.944
- You like.
- 00:25:58.011 --> 00:25:58.678
- Yet deep down
- 00:25:58.745 --> 00:25:59.379
- You still feel unseen,
- 00:25:59.445 --> 00:26:00.980
- Unsupported and alone.
- 00:26:01.047 --> 00:26:02.548
- >> but the truth is,
- 00:26:02.615 --> 00:26:03.583
- You were created
- 00:26:03.650 --> 00:26:04.350
- For connection.
- 00:26:04.417 --> 00:26:05.752
- God designed you
- 00:26:05.818 --> 00:26:06.653
- To walk side by side
- 00:26:06.719 --> 00:26:07.887
- With jesus and with others,
- 00:26:07.954 --> 00:26:10.490
- Encouraging and strengthening
- 00:26:10.556 --> 00:26:12.325
- One another.
- 00:26:12.392 --> 00:26:13.626
- In "when a friendship
- 00:26:13.693 --> 00:26:14.560
- Feels hard",
- 00:26:14.627 --> 00:26:15.695
- Amber albee swenson explores
- 00:26:15.762 --> 00:26:17.430
- God's original design
- 00:26:17.497 --> 00:26:18.898
- For how people
- 00:26:18.965 --> 00:26:19.532
- Are meant to care for
- 00:26:19.599 --> 00:26:20.600
- And strengthen one another,
- 00:26:20.667 --> 00:26:21.901
- Building deep connections
- 00:26:21.968 --> 00:26:23.102
- That help bring joy, healing,
- 00:26:23.169 --> 00:26:24.871
- And purpose to everyday life.
- 00:26:24.937 --> 00:26:26.773
- >> "when friendship feels hard"
- 00:26:26.839 --> 00:26:28.041
- Is our way of thanking you
- 00:26:28.107 --> 00:26:29.442
- For helping us show
- 00:26:29.509 --> 00:26:30.410
- More people that jesus
- 00:26:30.476 --> 00:26:31.711
- Is their greatest friend.
- 00:26:31.778 --> 00:26:33.613
- Request yours today
- 00:26:33.680 --> 00:26:34.647
- By calling
- 00:26:34.714 --> 00:26:35.314
- 800-661-3311,
- 00:26:35.381 --> 00:26:38.651
- Visiting timeofgrace.org,
- 00:26:38.718 --> 00:26:40.153
- Or writing us at
- 00:26:40.219 --> 00:26:41.287
- P.o. box 301,
- 00:26:41.354 --> 00:26:43.189
- Milwaukee, wi 53201.
- 00:26:43.256 --> 00:26:45.992
- ♪ ♪
- 00:26:46.359 --> 00:26:51.064
- >> time of grace
- 00:26:51.998 --> 00:26:52.832
- Doesn't end here.
- 00:26:52.932 --> 00:26:54.500
- Visit timeofgrace.org
- 00:26:54.600 --> 00:26:56.302
- And explore
- 00:26:56.402 --> 00:26:56.903
- Encouraging resources
- 00:26:57.003 --> 00:26:58.404
- Or sign up for our daily email
- 00:26:58.504 --> 00:26:59.806
- And have everything delivered
- 00:26:59.906 --> 00:27:00.707
- Right to your inbox, like our
- 00:27:00.807 --> 00:27:02.575
- Grace moments devotions,
- 00:27:02.675 --> 00:27:04.811
- Blog, and podcasts.
- 00:27:04.911 --> 00:27:07.480
- Follow us on social media,
- 00:27:07.580 --> 00:27:09.182
- Where you'll find a supportive
- 00:27:09.282 --> 00:27:10.249
- Christian community.
- 00:27:10.349 --> 00:27:11.417
- Do you need prayer?
- 00:27:11.517 --> 00:27:12.552
- Contact us and let us know
- 00:27:12.652 --> 00:27:13.786
- What's on your heart.
- 00:27:13.886 --> 00:27:14.987
- Thank you so much
- 00:27:15.088 --> 00:27:15.688
- For your support.
- 00:27:15.788 --> 00:27:16.222
- >> see you next week
- 00:27:17.423 --> 00:27:18.024
- On time of grace.
- 00:27:18.091 --> 00:27:18.958