Mike Novotny - S - Slander

September 15, 2025 | 29:5

Time of Grace teaches tough topics in an approachable and relatable way, making the Bible clear and understandable for those who need encouragement in their walks of faith and for those who don’t yet know Jesus at all.

#Wordswespeak #Lies #Truth #Character #Integrity #SpiritualGrowth

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Time Of Grace With Mike Novotny | Mike Novotny - S - Slander | September 15, 2025

♪ ♪
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>> i was across
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>> i was across the little circular table
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The little circular table from a member who was
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From a member who was very, very disappointed
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Very, very disappointed in me and in our church.
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In me and in our church. and he said, and i quote,
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And he said, and i quote, "i hate coming to this
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Church because of you.
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Church because of you. i feel physically sick
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I feel physically sick taking communion when
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Taking communion when it's given by you.
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You are a hypocrite.
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You are a hypocrite. you have racist tendencies.
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You have racist tendencies. when you came to this church
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When you came to this church i felt like a kid
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I felt like a kid at a vending machine,
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At a vending machine, you were the perfect pastor,
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You were the perfect pastor, but when i reached in
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But when i reached in to really meet you,
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To really meet you, you were empty," unquote.
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You were empty," unquote. man, words have
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Man, words have tremendous power,
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Tremendous power, whether they're beautiful words
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Whether they're beautiful words that just bring a smile
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That just bring a smile to your face as you recall them
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To your face as you recall them or really bitter
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Or really bitter and brutal words that
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And brutal words that are hard to have passed.
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Are hard to have passed. would you agree with me today
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Would you agree with me today that the words that human beings
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That the words that human beings speak have incredible weight?
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Speak have incredible weight? it's kind of deceiving.
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It's kind of deceiving. we speak so many words.
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We speak so many words. the experts will say that you
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The experts will say that you will both speak and hear
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Will both speak and hear tens of thousands of words
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Tens of thousands of words every single day of your life.
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Every single day of your life. so, many of them you
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So, many of them you would think they're light
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Would think they're light and mean very little
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And mean very little but the fact is that
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But the fact is that words have so much weight.
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Words have so much weight. as you think about your own
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As you think about your own story i wonder if certain words
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Story i wonder if certain words pop into your mind too.
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Pop into your mind too. and we tell each other
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And we tell each other to be kind on the one hand
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To be kind on the one hand and on the other hand
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And on the other hand we just say things like,
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We just say things like, "i was only joking," or,
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"i was only joking," or, "but it's true," as if those
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"but it's true," as if those words because they're true
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Words because they're true or spoken in jest don't come
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Or spoken in jest don't come with weight or power.
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With weight or power. we live in a culture
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We live in a culture that's very passionate about
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That's very passionate about the freedom of speech.
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The freedom of speech. i have the right
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I have the right to say what i want,
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To say what i want, you can't
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You can't and shouldn't sensor me.
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And shouldn't sensor me. but then we know how that feels
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But then we know how that feels when somebody who's used that
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When somebody who's used that right in a way that's not good
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Right in a way that's not good or building up in love.
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Or building up in love. our culture kind of complicates
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Our culture kind of complicates the issue which is why today
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The issue which is why today i want to take you back
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I want to take you back not to the world
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Not to the world but to the word of god.
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But to the word of god. we have an amazing father
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We have an amazing father in heaven who values
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In heaven who values the power of your words.
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The power of your words. he knows that the things
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He knows that the things you say before the sun sets
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You say before the sun sets on this very day
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On this very day could give life and breathe
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Could give life and breathe life to a relationship,
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Life to a relationship, could take a friendship
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Could take a friendship from good to great.
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From good to great. could make you, maybe for
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Could make you, maybe for the first time in your life,
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The first time in your life, close to people at a church.
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Close to people at a church. words can birth relationships,
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Words can birth relationships, grow them, damage them,
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Grow them, damage them, destroy them, and so god,
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Destroy them, and so god, today, wants to speak to us
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Today, wants to speak to us a clear word about our words.
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A clear word about our words. so, if you're taking notes
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So, if you're taking notes i'd love for you to grab
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I'd love for you to grab a pen and write this down.
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A pen and write this down. i think, out of all the words
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I think, out of all the words that we speak we could
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That we speak we could categorize things into
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Categorize things into four basic buckets.
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Four basic buckets. they are, first of all,
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They are, first of all, unloving lies,
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Unloving lies, which are words that
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Which are words that are neither true nor loving.
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Are neither true nor loving. second there are loving lies.
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Second there are loving lies. if you're a person who really,
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If you're a person who really, really doesn't like
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Really doesn't like conflict and you haven't
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Conflict and you haven't confronted someone in, like,
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Confronted someone in, like, eight or eighty years, you know.
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Eight or eighty years, you know. you love them so much sometimes
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You love them so much sometimes you don't speak the hard words
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You don't speak the hard words that are true.
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That are true. third there are unloving truths.
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Third there are unloving truths. if you're a person who tends
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If you're a person who tends to be a little bit blunt,
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To be a little bit blunt, a little bit black and white.
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A little bit black and white. if you haven't won
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If you haven't won the compassion award at
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The compassion award at the family olympics, ever.
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The family olympics, ever. if you think, "well, it's true,"
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If you think, "well, it's true," and if that feels like the end
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And if that feels like the end of the discussion you might
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Of the discussion you might struggle with those words.
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Struggle with those words. and then, finally, where god
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And then, finally, where god wants to get us to today,
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Wants to get us to today, our loving truths.
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Our loving truths. these aren't soft,
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These aren't soft, candy corn conversations,
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Candy corn conversations, sometimes they're hard,
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Sometimes they're hard, difficult, come to jesus moment,
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Difficult, come to jesus moment, but they're words that
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But they're words that are true and they're spoken
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Are true and they're spoken in love.
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In love. these are biblical words,
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These are biblical words, encouraging words,
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Encouraging words, words of praise,
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Words of praise, words to work through
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Words to work through hard moments, words that aren't
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Hard moments, words that aren't swept under the rug,
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Swept under the rug, but instead brought into
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But instead brought into the light of god's word.
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The light of god's word. now, i wonder if we could
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Now, i wonder if we could run like some ai
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Run like some ai large language model on
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Large language model on your mouth from the past week,
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Your mouth from the past week, what percentage of the words
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What percentage of the words would fall into each bucket?
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Would fall into each bucket? are you a person that's just
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Are you a person that's just hurting inside and you're like a
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Hurting inside and you're like a dragon when you open your mouth
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Dragon when you open your mouth and the words are not true
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And the words are not true and not loving?
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And not loving? are you a person with, just,
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Are you a person with, just, a really big heart and you love
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A really big heart and you love people so much you sometimes
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People so much you sometimes don't speak the truth?
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Don't speak the truth? are you a person
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Are you a person who's passionate about the truth
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Who's passionate about the truth and you lose sight of things
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And you lose sight of things like gentleness, and kindness,
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Like gentleness, and kindness, and how words are spoken,
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And how words are spoken, the tone, the timing?
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The tone, the timing? or has god blessed you with
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Or has god blessed you with the ability to speak words
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The ability to speak words that are full
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That are full of both truth and love?
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Of both truth and love? i want to talk to you today
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I want to talk to you today about how to bring your words
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About how to bring your words from one side of that
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From one side of that equation to the other.
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Equation to the other. like, if you struggle with
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Like, if you struggle with speaking the truth in love,
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Speaking the truth in love, like, where does that come from?
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Like, where does that come from? why do we do that?
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Why do we do that? and how can god in his amazing
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And how can god in his amazing love help us so that
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Love help us so that more and more of our words,
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More and more of our words, even on this side of heaven,
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Even on this side of heaven, are the kind of words that
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Are the kind of words that build and grow relationships?
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Build and grow relationships? that connect people
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That connect people and churches and families,
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And churches and families, that deal with issues
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That deal with issues in honest ways, and it gets
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In honest ways, and it gets a little bit closer
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A little bit closer to the heart and the mouth
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To the heart and the mouth of our father in heaven.
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Of our father in heaven. so, today, let's talk about
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So, today, let's talk about something we maybe don't talk
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Something we maybe don't talk often enough about,
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Often enough about, the slander, the unloving lies
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The slander, the unloving lies that get in the way of really
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That get in the way of really beautiful, life giving words.
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Beautiful, life giving words. now, it's super common
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Now, it's super common in our culture,
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In our culture, it's super easy to fall
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It's super easy to fall into but jesus, if you would
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Into but jesus, if you would study his teachings,
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Study his teachings, was super serious about slander.
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Was super serious about slander. let me show you something
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Jesus said in matthew 15.
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Jesus said in matthew 15. he said, "out of the heart come
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He said, "out of the heart come evil thoughts-murder, adultery,
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Evil thoughts-murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft,
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Sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, and slander."
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False testimony, and slander." i mean, would you agree with me
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That it's better to tell
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That it's better to tell the truth than to lie?
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The truth than to lie? are we on the same page?
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Are we on the same page? would you agree with me
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Would you agree with me that it's better
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That it's better to love than to hate?
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To love than to hate? yes, that seems very obvious
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Yes, that seems very obvious to all of us.
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To all of us. so why, like, why would paul
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So why, like, why would paul have to remind the corinthians,
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Have to remind the corinthians, and the ephesians,
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And the ephesians, and the colossians, and timothy,
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And the colossians, and timothy, and titus about what --
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And titus about what -- you know, what is it about
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You know, what is it about slander that it's just
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Slander that it's just so difficult to avoid
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So difficult to avoid when we speak way back
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When we speak way back in bible times and even
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In bible times and even in our time today?
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In our time today? i wrestled a lot with that
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I wrestled a lot with that question and i came up
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Question and i came up with three reasons,
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With three reasons, not an all exhaustive list.
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But i'd love for you
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But i'd love for you to write these down.
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To write these down. the first reason
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The first reason i think that slander happens,
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I think that slander happens, even a lot in christian churches
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Even a lot in christian churches is because of jealousy.
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Is because of jealousy. when someone gets something
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That you really want,
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That you really want, when they have a blessing
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When they have a blessing that would make you so --
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That would make you so -- you've been praying for it
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You've been praying for it but you haven't gotten
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But you haven't gotten it just yet.
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It just yet. when someone gets
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When someone gets the position on the team,
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The position on the team, the attention of the class,
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The attention of the class, the promotion you wanted,
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The promotion you wanted, the raise, the job,
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The raise, the job, the guy or the girl.
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The guy or the girl. when someone else gets
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When someone else gets something that we don't have,
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Something that we don't have, sometimes jealousy manifests
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Sometimes jealousy manifests itself in slander.
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Itself in slander. i remember, actually, did this
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I remember, actually, did this once to another pastor.
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Once to another pastor. when i was a brand new pastor
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When i was a brand new pastor i had this really unbiblical,
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I had this really unbiblical, really, really foolishly dumb
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Really, really foolishly dumb and immature idea that good
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And immature idea that good pastors have growing churches.
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Pastors have growing churches. not in the bible, by the way.
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Not in the bible, by the way. and what do you know,
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And what do you know, as i started out as a pastor
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As i started out as a pastor my church didn't.
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My church didn't. like, would have
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Like, would have to add services.
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To add services. ever.
00:07:29.939 --> 00:07:31.741
Ever. right?
00:07:31.807 --> 00:07:32.141
Right? we were just kind of stuck
00:07:32.208 --> 00:07:32.909
We were just kind of stuck in the same number of people
00:07:32.975 --> 00:07:33.910
In the same number of people coming the same sundays,
00:07:33.976 --> 00:07:34.944
Coming the same sundays, but i knew a guy
00:07:35.011 --> 00:07:35.745
But i knew a guy whose church was...
00:07:35.811 --> 00:07:36.379
[whistle]
00:07:36.746 --> 00:07:37.280
Like, exploding in growth.
00:07:37.947 --> 00:07:39.348
Like, exploding in growth. and i was just aware of it
00:07:39.415 --> 00:07:41.183
And i was just aware of it and i was honestly
00:07:41.250 --> 00:07:41.884
And i was honestly jealous of it.
00:07:41.951 --> 00:07:43.052
Jealous of it. but then, but then one day,
00:07:43.119 --> 00:07:45.021
But then, but then one day, i heard this little
00:07:45.087 --> 00:07:46.022
I heard this little tidbit about that pastor.
00:07:46.088 --> 00:07:48.057
Tidbit about that pastor. i heard that he worked like mad,
00:07:48.124 --> 00:07:50.993
I heard that he worked like mad, that he put in really long
00:07:51.060 --> 00:07:52.628
That he put in really long and extensive hours
00:07:52.695 --> 00:07:53.896
And extensive hours to bless his church
00:07:53.963 --> 00:07:55.364
To bless his church and expand his ministry.
00:07:55.431 --> 00:07:56.966
And expand his ministry. ah.
00:07:57.033 --> 00:07:59.268
Ah. and my heart took that
00:07:59.335 --> 00:08:00.169
And my heart took that little bit of information
00:08:00.236 --> 00:08:02.371
Little bit of information and i came to this conclusion,
00:08:02.438 --> 00:08:05.041
And i came to this conclusion, he must be a bad husband.
00:08:05.107 --> 00:08:07.944
He must be a bad husband. i bet his wife is so mad as
00:08:08.010 --> 00:08:09.812
I bet his wife is so mad as he's telling all those people
00:08:09.879 --> 00:08:10.646
He's telling all those people about jesus but he's never
00:08:10.713 --> 00:08:11.714
About jesus but he's never home for dinner.
00:08:11.781 --> 00:08:12.481
Home for dinner. i bet his kids cry at night
00:08:12.548 --> 00:08:14.684
I bet his kids cry at night because dad's never there
00:08:14.750 --> 00:08:15.551
Because dad's never there to tuck them in bed.
00:08:15.618 --> 00:08:16.619
To tuck them in bed. now, did i have
00:08:16.686 --> 00:08:18.187
Now, did i have any proof of any of that?
00:08:18.254 --> 00:08:19.922
Any proof of any of that? had i talked or heard,
00:08:19.989 --> 00:08:21.324
Had i talked or heard, or seen his wife
00:08:21.390 --> 00:08:22.792
Or seen his wife or his children say any --
00:08:22.858 --> 00:08:23.826
Or his children say any -- no, i didn't, but my heart
00:08:23.893 --> 00:08:25.828
No, i didn't, but my heart jumped to that conclusion,
00:08:25.895 --> 00:08:26.662
Jumped to that conclusion, that slanderous conclusion.
00:08:26.729 --> 00:08:28.464
That slanderous conclusion. why?
00:08:28.531 --> 00:08:29.732
Why? because i was jealous.
00:08:29.799 --> 00:08:33.302
Because i was jealous. now, friends, be really,
00:08:33.369 --> 00:08:34.070
Now, friends, be really, really careful when someone
00:08:34.136 --> 00:08:35.171
Really careful when someone gets something you
00:08:35.237 --> 00:08:35.871
Gets something you really, really want.
00:08:35.938 --> 00:08:39.008
Really, really want. ah man, when you really
00:08:39.075 --> 00:08:39.942
Ah man, when you really wanted to make the team
00:08:40.009 --> 00:08:41.110
Wanted to make the team and your classmate does.
00:08:41.177 --> 00:08:44.947
And your classmate does. or you're the parent
00:08:45.014 --> 00:08:46.048
Or you're the parent and you really wanted
00:08:46.115 --> 00:08:46.616
And you really wanted your kid to get the spot.
00:08:46.682 --> 00:08:48.918
Your kid to get the spot. sometimes to deal with
00:08:48.985 --> 00:08:49.685
Sometimes to deal with that insecurity,
00:08:49.752 --> 00:08:52.688
That insecurity, we come to conclusions
00:08:52.755 --> 00:08:53.356
We come to conclusions that we don't know to be true.
00:08:53.422 --> 00:08:54.924
That we don't know to be true. "oh, why did they get the spot.
00:08:54.991 --> 00:08:55.891
"oh, why did they get the spot. they probably were kissing
00:08:55.958 --> 00:08:57.293
They probably were kissing the coach's backside.
00:08:57.360 --> 00:08:58.794
The coach's backside. he probably plays favorites.
00:08:58.861 --> 00:09:00.329
He probably plays favorites. it's probably all politics."
00:09:00.396 --> 00:09:03.366
It's probably all politics." wherever the word
00:09:03.432 --> 00:09:03.799
Wherever the word "it's politics" is used i always
00:09:03.866 --> 00:09:06.202
"it's politics" is used i always pay really close attention.
00:09:06.268 --> 00:09:09.238
Pay really close attention. when someone gets a promotion
00:09:09.305 --> 00:09:10.072
When someone gets a promotion at work, when, man,
00:09:10.139 --> 00:09:11.907
At work, when, man, you really wanted to go
00:09:11.974 --> 00:09:12.508
You really wanted to go on a date with that
00:09:12.575 --> 00:09:13.209
On a date with that guy and now she is.
00:09:13.275 --> 00:09:14.176
Guy and now she is. "well, why did she choose
00:09:14.243 --> 00:09:15.611
"well, why did she choose him instead of me?
00:09:15.678 --> 00:09:19.081
Him instead of me? well, probably, you know
00:09:19.148 --> 00:09:20.049
Well, probably, you know what girls can do to get
00:09:20.116 --> 00:09:20.950
What girls can do to get a guy's attention."
00:09:21.017 --> 00:09:23.452
A guy's attention." when the word probably
00:09:23.519 --> 00:09:24.253
When the word probably or the phrase "i bet" or --
00:09:24.320 --> 00:09:26.889
Or the phrase "i bet" or -- man, those are
00:09:26.956 --> 00:09:27.490
Man, those are jumping to conclusions,
00:09:27.556 --> 00:09:28.491
Jumping to conclusions, and very often,
00:09:28.557 --> 00:09:30.693
And very often, we have no proven reason
00:09:30.760 --> 00:09:33.029
We have no proven reason so be careful.
00:09:33.095 --> 00:09:35.131
So be careful. when god gives someone else
00:09:35.197 --> 00:09:36.032
When god gives someone else a blessing you really,
00:09:36.098 --> 00:09:36.832
A blessing you really, really wanted,
00:09:36.899 --> 00:09:38.567
Really wanted, that that insecurity
00:09:38.634 --> 00:09:39.235
That that insecurity doesn't lead to words
00:09:39.301 --> 00:09:40.002
Doesn't lead to words you can't take back.
00:09:40.069 --> 00:09:43.906
Number two, the second reason
00:09:44.006 --> 00:09:46.742
Number two, the second reason i think slander is so common,
00:09:46.809 --> 00:09:48.210
I think slander is so common, even within christianity
00:09:48.277 --> 00:09:49.578
Even within christianity is pride.
00:09:49.645 --> 00:09:55.017
Is pride. whenever there's tension
00:09:55.084 --> 00:09:55.785
Whenever there's tension between two people,
00:09:55.851 --> 00:09:58.487
Between two people, wherever you don't
00:09:58.554 --> 00:09:59.021
Wherever you don't quite see eye to eye,
00:09:59.088 --> 00:09:59.822
Or there's been
00:09:59.922 --> 00:10:00.423
Or there's been some butting of heads,
00:10:00.489 --> 00:10:02.925
Some butting of heads, pride loves to take things
00:10:02.992 --> 00:10:05.161
Pride loves to take things to untrue extremes just
00:10:05.227 --> 00:10:06.962
To untrue extremes just to feel like in the good,
00:10:07.029 --> 00:10:08.564
To feel like in the good, right person and you're
00:10:08.631 --> 00:10:10.199
Right person and you're the bad, wrong person.
00:10:10.266 --> 00:10:11.934
The bad, wrong person. be careful, if there's a kid
00:10:12.001 --> 00:10:13.269
Be careful, if there's a kid in your class you really don't
00:10:13.335 --> 00:10:14.170
In your class you really don't get along with or someone
00:10:14.236 --> 00:10:16.138
Get along with or someone at your work that says
00:10:16.205 --> 00:10:17.840
At your work that says something that annoys you.
00:10:17.907 --> 00:10:19.108
Something that annoys you. be careful if there's someone
00:10:19.175 --> 00:10:19.975
Be careful if there's someone in your group at church,
00:10:20.042 --> 00:10:21.077
In your group at church, or a pastor that's yours.
00:10:21.143 --> 00:10:22.678
Or a pastor that's yours. if there's ever been conflict
00:10:22.745 --> 00:10:24.180
If there's ever been conflict or tension be really careful
00:10:24.246 --> 00:10:25.214
Or tension be really careful that pride doesn't take
00:10:25.281 --> 00:10:26.449
That pride doesn't take the truth and exaggerates it
00:10:26.515 --> 00:10:27.717
The truth and exaggerates it to something that we
00:10:27.783 --> 00:10:29.151
To something that we don't know to be true.
00:10:29.218 --> 00:10:31.620
Don't know to be true. classic example,
00:10:31.687 --> 00:10:32.722
Classic example, husband and wife are fighting.
00:10:32.788 --> 00:10:34.790
Husband and wife are fighting. in the midst of the emotion
00:10:34.857 --> 00:10:35.558
In the midst of the emotion and the argument she thinks
00:10:35.624 --> 00:10:37.026
And the argument she thinks she is right,
00:10:37.093 --> 00:10:37.593
She is right, he thinks he's right,
00:10:37.660 --> 00:10:38.627
He thinks he's right, and what do they say
00:10:38.694 --> 00:10:39.261
And what do they say to each other?
00:10:39.328 --> 00:10:39.729
To each other? they use the two words
00:10:39.795 --> 00:10:40.563
They use the two words you should never, ever, ever,
00:10:40.629 --> 00:10:41.797
You should never, ever, ever, ever, ever say in a marriage,
00:10:41.864 --> 00:10:45.301
Ever, ever say in a marriage, which are, "always,"
00:10:45.367 --> 00:10:47.570
Which are, "always," and "never."
00:10:47.636 --> 00:10:48.771
And "never." "you always do this.
00:10:48.838 --> 00:10:50.639
"you always do this. you always sho --
00:10:50.706 --> 00:10:51.373
You always sho -- you always leave me with the --"
00:10:51.440 --> 00:10:53.375
You always leave me with the --" "always, really?
00:10:53.442 --> 00:10:55.377
"always, really? really.
00:10:55.444 --> 00:10:56.712
Really. you must lack judgement
00:10:56.779 --> 00:10:57.680
You must lack judgement in a partner if you said yes
00:10:57.747 --> 00:11:00.416
In a partner if you said yes to a man who always
00:11:00.483 --> 00:11:01.417
To a man who always thinks of himself.
00:11:01.484 --> 00:11:02.485
Thinks of himself. you never think of what i --"
00:11:02.551 --> 00:11:03.919
You never think of what i --" "never, really?
00:11:03.986 --> 00:11:04.687
"never, really? really?
00:11:04.754 --> 00:11:05.121
Really? so."
00:11:05.187 --> 00:11:05.921
So." why do we do that?
00:11:05.988 --> 00:11:06.655
Why do we do that? why do we say that?
00:11:06.722 --> 00:11:07.256
Why do we say that? i literally saw like ten of you
00:11:07.323 --> 00:11:08.657
I literally saw like ten of you mouthing the words because
00:11:08.724 --> 00:11:09.859
Mouthing the words because you know them well.
00:11:09.925 --> 00:11:11.293
You know them well. but why?
00:11:11.360 --> 00:11:12.161
But why? here's why,
00:11:12.228 --> 00:11:13.896
Here's why, because when there's tension,
00:11:13.963 --> 00:11:15.831
Because when there's tension, i want you to be
00:11:15.898 --> 00:11:16.832
I want you to be the one to change.
00:11:16.899 --> 00:11:18.968
The one to change. i don't want there
00:11:19.034 --> 00:11:20.903
I don't want there to be two to tango.
00:11:20.970 --> 00:11:23.072
To be two to tango. i want to be the judge
00:11:23.139 --> 00:11:24.140
I want to be the judge that thinks that you
00:11:24.206 --> 00:11:24.907
That thinks that you don't know how to tango.
00:11:24.974 --> 00:11:26.976
Don't know how to tango. i want to be the one who sits
00:11:27.042 --> 00:11:27.943
I want to be the one who sits here with my glass of wine
00:11:28.010 --> 00:11:29.111
Here with my glass of wine and my juice box and just
00:11:29.178 --> 00:11:30.012
And my juice box and just watches and judges while you
00:11:30.079 --> 00:11:31.413
Watches and judges while you fix all of your stuff, right?
00:11:31.480 --> 00:11:33.616
Fix all of your stuff, right? because if you're always the one
00:11:33.682 --> 00:11:34.683
Because if you're always the one with the problem then you need
00:11:34.750 --> 00:11:35.718
With the problem then you need to repent and not me.
00:11:35.785 --> 00:11:37.820
To repent and not me. then you just need to listen
00:11:37.887 --> 00:11:38.754
Then you just need to listen and do what i say and i have
00:11:38.821 --> 00:11:39.889
And do what i say and i have nothing to take to heart.
00:11:39.955 --> 00:11:43.125
Nothing to take to heart. pride, whenever there's
00:11:43.192 --> 00:11:43.926
Pride, whenever there's tension just --
00:11:43.993 --> 00:11:45.327
Tension just -- then it goes to extremes.
00:11:45.394 --> 00:11:48.464
Then it goes to extremes. here's where i notice
00:11:48.531 --> 00:11:49.331
Here's where i notice this a lot in my life.
00:11:49.398 --> 00:11:52.034
This a lot in my life. very often when
00:11:52.101 --> 00:11:52.735
Very often when there's tension there's
00:11:52.802 --> 00:11:53.702
There's tension there's a lot of complex factors,
00:11:53.769 --> 00:11:55.704
A lot of complex factors, there's often a lot
00:11:55.771 --> 00:11:56.372
There's often a lot of history and things
00:11:56.438 --> 00:11:57.306
Of history and things that have been said.
00:11:57.373 --> 00:11:57.873
That have been said. but when we summarize a really,
00:11:57.940 --> 00:12:01.210
But when we summarize a really, like, complex relationship with
00:12:01.277 --> 00:12:02.578
Like, complex relationship with just the worst snippet of what
00:12:02.645 --> 00:12:05.414
Just the worst snippet of what someone said or did,
00:12:05.481 --> 00:12:08.717
Someone said or did, and like, that's the snippet
00:12:08.784 --> 00:12:09.451
And like, that's the snippet we repeat to our
00:12:09.518 --> 00:12:11.587
We repeat to our closest friends or family
00:12:11.654 --> 00:12:12.454
Closest friends or family to describe what's happening.
00:12:12.521 --> 00:12:15.591
To describe what's happening. for example, let's imagine
00:12:15.658 --> 00:12:16.759
For example, let's imagine that you and i were beefing,
00:12:16.826 --> 00:12:17.593
That you and i were beefing, like we're not seeing
00:12:17.660 --> 00:12:19.094
Like we're not seeing eye-to-eye right now,
00:12:19.161 --> 00:12:19.895
Eye-to-eye right now, and you write me
00:12:19.962 --> 00:12:20.496
And you write me a really long email,
00:12:20.563 --> 00:12:21.997
A really long email, you pour out your heart.
00:12:22.064 --> 00:12:23.265
You pour out your heart. and in that email, well,
00:12:23.332 --> 00:12:24.266
And in that email, well, you make some really fair points
00:12:24.333 --> 00:12:25.301
You make some really fair points but then there's this one,
00:12:25.367 --> 00:12:26.702
But then there's this one, one sentence in that one
00:12:26.769 --> 00:12:27.937
One sentence in that one paragraph where you go too far
00:12:28.003 --> 00:12:28.971
Paragraph where you go too far and you jump to conclusions
00:12:29.038 --> 00:12:30.272
And you jump to conclusions and you say something that's not
00:12:30.339 --> 00:12:31.540
And you say something that's not nice and that's not true.
00:12:31.607 --> 00:12:33.742
Nice and that's not true. i come home from work
00:12:33.809 --> 00:12:34.410
I come home from work and my wife asks me,
00:12:34.476 --> 00:12:35.211
And my wife asks me, "how was your day?"
00:12:35.277 --> 00:12:37.313
"how was your day?" and i say, "well, so and so
00:12:37.379 --> 00:12:38.180
And i say, "well, so and so sent me an email."
00:12:38.247 --> 00:12:40.182
Sent me an email." "well, what did it say?"
00:12:40.249 --> 00:12:43.519
"well, what did it say?" chop, chop.
00:12:43.586 --> 00:12:45.321
Chop, chop. "honey, you're not going
00:12:45.387 --> 00:12:46.222
"honey, you're not going to believe what they said."
00:12:46.288 --> 00:12:48.858
To believe what they said." and i quote, like, the worst --
00:12:48.924 --> 00:12:50.626
And i quote, like, the worst -- as if the whole --
00:12:50.693 --> 00:12:51.760
As if the whole -- the rest of the email
00:12:51.827 --> 00:12:52.494
The rest of the email didn't exist because what's
00:12:52.561 --> 00:12:53.696
Didn't exist because what's my wife going to say?
00:12:53.762 --> 00:12:55.764
My wife going to say? "that's bad.
00:12:55.831 --> 00:12:56.999
"that's bad. they're bad.
00:12:57.066 --> 00:12:57.900
They're bad. honey, i'm so sorry you
00:12:57.967 --> 00:12:58.634
Honey, i'm so sorry you went through that."
00:12:58.701 --> 00:13:02.204
Went through that." isn't this exactly
00:13:02.271 --> 00:13:03.138
Isn't this exactly what every political ad
00:13:03.205 --> 00:13:03.973
What every political ad is during an election season?
00:13:04.039 --> 00:13:06.709
Is during an election season? let's find the worst,
00:13:06.775 --> 00:13:07.343
Let's find the worst, most embarrassing quote
00:13:07.409 --> 00:13:08.244
Most embarrassing quote you've ev --
00:13:08.310 --> 00:13:08.811
You've ev -- let's put, like,
00:13:08.878 --> 00:13:09.411
Let's put, like, dark sinister music.
00:13:09.478 --> 00:13:10.246
Dark sinister music. "you won't believe
00:13:10.312 --> 00:13:11.280
"you won't believe what so and so did."
00:13:11.347 --> 00:13:12.948
What so and so did." like, run the old tape
00:13:13.015 --> 00:13:14.850
Like, run the old tape from 12 --
00:13:14.917 --> 00:13:15.417
From 12 -- like, really complex
00:13:15.484 --> 00:13:16.652
Like, really complex social issues but we snip it
00:13:16.719 --> 00:13:18.420
Social issues but we snip it down just so they're
00:13:18.487 --> 00:13:19.622
Down just so they're the bad people
00:13:19.688 --> 00:13:20.489
The bad people and we're the good people,
00:13:20.556 --> 00:13:21.223
And we're the good people, so they have to change
00:13:21.290 --> 00:13:22.758
So they have to change and we don't.
00:13:22.825 --> 00:13:23.626
And we don't. be really careful when you
00:13:23.692 --> 00:13:25.527
Be really careful when you don't get along with someone
00:13:25.594 --> 00:13:27.329
Don't get along with someone at work or in your family,
00:13:27.396 --> 00:13:28.297
At work or in your family, that you don't let the pride
00:13:28.364 --> 00:13:30.633
That you don't let the pride that they're bad
00:13:30.699 --> 00:13:31.467
That they're bad and you're good lead you
00:13:31.533 --> 00:13:32.468
And you're good lead you to things that god does not
00:13:32.534 --> 00:13:34.169
To things that god does not want you to say.
00:13:34.236 --> 00:13:38.207
Want you to say. aren't you happy you came
00:13:38.274 --> 00:13:39.108
To church today, by the way?
00:13:39.208 --> 00:13:41.210
To church today, by the way? alright, one more reason.
00:13:41.277 --> 00:13:43.245
Alright, one more reason. a third reason i could think
00:13:43.312 --> 00:13:44.046
A third reason i could think of that slander is so tempting
00:13:44.113 --> 00:13:46.081
Of that slander is so tempting even for christians
00:13:46.148 --> 00:13:48.317
Even for christians is friendship.
00:13:48.384 --> 00:13:52.721
Is friendship. now, that may seem like
00:13:52.788 --> 00:13:53.555
Now, that may seem like a kind of an odd addition
00:13:53.622 --> 00:13:55.124
To the list.
00:13:55.224 --> 00:13:56.759
To the list. why would friendship
00:13:56.825 --> 00:13:58.494
Why would friendship be connected to slander?
00:13:58.560 --> 00:14:01.430
Be connected to slander? well, this is sad
00:14:01.497 --> 00:14:02.131
Well, this is sad to admit but words,
00:14:02.197 --> 00:14:02.998
To admit but words, even if they're not godly words,
00:14:03.065 --> 00:14:06.368
Even if they're not godly words, can bond us together.
00:14:06.435 --> 00:14:11.106
Can bond us together. i mean, why is bullying such
00:14:11.173 --> 00:14:13.542
I mean, why is bullying such a frequent problem in schools,
00:14:13.609 --> 00:14:15.444
A frequent problem in schools, even christian schools?
00:14:15.511 --> 00:14:18.213
Even christian schools? why are smartphones
00:14:18.280 --> 00:14:18.981
Why are smartphones so complicated?
00:14:19.048 --> 00:14:20.816
So complicated? well, it's because words
00:14:20.883 --> 00:14:22.618
Well, it's because words don't need to be good
00:14:22.685 --> 00:14:24.987
Don't need to be good to connect people together.
00:14:25.054 --> 00:14:28.190
To connect people together. you know, if the three of us can
00:14:28.257 --> 00:14:29.358
You know, if the three of us can come up with some inside joke
00:14:29.425 --> 00:14:30.326
Come up with some inside joke about the two of them
00:14:30.392 --> 00:14:32.628
About the two of them and there's the wink
00:14:32.695 --> 00:14:33.462
And there's the wink and the nod,
00:14:33.529 --> 00:14:35.331
And the nod, and those words they might be
00:14:35.397 --> 00:14:36.732
And those words they might be destructive but they're --
00:14:36.799 --> 00:14:38.434
Destructive but they're -- they'll connect us.
00:14:38.500 --> 00:14:39.435
They'll connect us. if you're frustrated with
00:14:39.501 --> 00:14:40.369
If you're frustrated with the boss and your coworkers
00:14:40.436 --> 00:14:41.570
The boss and your coworkers are frustrated with the boss,
00:14:41.637 --> 00:14:43.472
Are frustrated with the boss, then to go behind
00:14:43.539 --> 00:14:44.106
Then to go behind the scenes and say,
00:14:44.173 --> 00:14:45.140
The scenes and say, "well, he's probably
00:14:45.207 --> 00:14:45.841
"well, he's probably terrible at home.
00:14:45.908 --> 00:14:46.642
Terrible at home. can you imagine what it's like
00:14:46.709 --> 00:14:47.743
Can you imagine what it's like being married to her?"
00:14:47.810 --> 00:14:48.477
Being married to her?" like, it's funny
00:14:48.544 --> 00:14:50.212
Like, it's funny and it will bond us.
00:14:50.279 --> 00:14:51.046
And it will bond us. we'll empathize and connect
00:14:51.113 --> 00:14:53.682
We'll empathize and connect with harsh words that are spoke.
00:14:53.749 --> 00:14:55.317
With harsh words that are spoke. you have to be really careful
00:14:55.384 --> 00:14:56.051
You have to be really careful when you and your friends
00:14:56.118 --> 00:14:56.919
When you and your friends get together that the words
00:14:56.986 --> 00:14:57.720
Get together that the words that are spoken,
00:14:57.786 --> 00:14:58.487
That are spoken, not to each other
00:14:58.554 --> 00:14:59.655
Not to each other but about other people,
00:14:59.722 --> 00:15:01.991
But about other people, don't fall into assumptions,
00:15:02.057 --> 00:15:04.760
Don't fall into assumptions, false conclusions, and words
00:15:04.827 --> 00:15:06.362
False conclusions, and words that lack truth, and love.
00:15:06.428 --> 00:15:11.700
Women...
00:15:22.311 --> 00:15:26.849
Women... could i talk
00:15:26.915 --> 00:15:27.683
Could i talk to you for a second?
00:15:27.750 --> 00:15:34.623
To you for a second? i wish you could see my notes,
00:15:34.690 --> 00:15:36.058
I wish you could see my notes, this part says,
00:15:36.125 --> 00:15:36.859
This part says, "please, please, please,
00:15:36.925 --> 00:15:38.994
"please, please, please, please, holy spirit, help."
00:15:39.061 --> 00:15:41.730
[laughter]
00:15:42.064 --> 00:15:44.400
Stereotypes can be
00:15:49.171 --> 00:15:50.439
Stereotypes can be super dangerous.
00:15:50.506 --> 00:15:54.743
Super dangerous. men talking about women
00:15:54.810 --> 00:15:56.512
Men talking about women in unfair ways to point fingers
00:15:56.578 --> 00:15:59.481
In unfair ways to point fingers and not look at themselves
00:15:59.548 --> 00:16:00.449
And not look at themselves happens too often.
00:16:00.516 --> 00:16:03.919
Happens too often. next week, if you
00:16:03.986 --> 00:16:05.254
Next week, if you come back to church,
00:16:05.320 --> 00:16:05.888
Come back to church, i'm going to have some
00:16:05.954 --> 00:16:07.122
I'm going to have some really serious direct words
00:16:07.189 --> 00:16:08.424
Really serious direct words to say to the men who are here.
00:16:08.490 --> 00:16:09.858
To say to the men who are here. but, i might be wrong.
00:16:09.925 --> 00:16:14.830
But, i might be wrong. have you experienced or seen
00:16:14.897 --> 00:16:16.398
Have you experienced or seen that women, in particular,
00:16:16.465 --> 00:16:18.500
That women, in particular, have struggles with good words?
00:16:18.567 --> 00:16:24.173
Have struggles with good words? i talk to my wife
00:16:24.239 --> 00:16:25.040
I talk to my wife often about this.
00:16:25.107 --> 00:16:25.641
Often about this. i'm raising daughters
00:16:25.707 --> 00:16:26.508
I'm raising daughters through middle school
00:16:26.575 --> 00:16:28.110
Through middle school and high school years, and it...
00:16:28.177 --> 00:16:31.246
And high school years, and it... it strikes me that they made
00:16:31.313 --> 00:16:32.081
It strikes me that they made a movie called "mean girls."
00:16:32.147 --> 00:16:35.584
A movie called "mean girls." it wasn't called "mean kids."
00:16:35.651 --> 00:16:39.421
It wasn't called "mean kids." some of you know that was
00:16:39.488 --> 00:16:40.322
Some of you know that was a really difficult years
00:16:40.389 --> 00:16:42.724
A really difficult years because the word, sometimes,
00:16:42.791 --> 00:16:43.859
Because the word, sometimes, that females speak about other
00:16:43.926 --> 00:16:46.028
That females speak about other females who aren't in the room.
00:16:46.095 --> 00:16:48.997
Females who aren't in the room. this might not be true for you,
00:16:49.064 --> 00:16:50.199
This might not be true for you, ladies, but what i've seen,
00:16:50.265 --> 00:16:51.500
Ladies, but what i've seen, stereotypically, is that men
00:16:51.567 --> 00:16:52.734
Stereotypically, is that men have big explosive moments of --
00:16:52.801 --> 00:16:55.904
Have big explosive moments of -- if there's, like,
00:16:55.971 --> 00:16:56.805
If there's, like, drama on the soccer field
00:16:56.872 --> 00:16:57.906
Drama on the soccer field we swear in each other's faces,
00:16:57.973 --> 00:16:59.641
We swear in each other's faces, push each other in the chest,
00:16:59.708 --> 00:17:00.742
Push each other in the chest, then have a beer after
00:17:00.809 --> 00:17:01.743
Then have a beer after the game is done.
00:17:01.810 --> 00:17:02.311
The game is done. it's bad, and it's wrong,
00:17:02.377 --> 00:17:03.779
It's bad, and it's wrong, but it's over really quickly.
00:17:03.846 --> 00:17:04.880
But it's over really quickly. and what i see in a lot
00:17:04.947 --> 00:17:06.882
And what i see in a lot of female relationships
00:17:06.949 --> 00:17:07.716
Of female relationships is less direct confrontation
00:17:07.783 --> 00:17:09.818
Is less direct confrontation and more just lingering,
00:17:09.885 --> 00:17:11.186
And more just lingering, simmering dysfunction.
00:17:11.253 --> 00:17:19.061
Simmering dysfunction. i think, maybe, maybe,
00:17:19.128 --> 00:17:20.963
I think, maybe, maybe, for a lot of women it's because
00:17:21.029 --> 00:17:22.131
For a lot of women it's because words are their super power
00:17:22.197 --> 00:17:26.401
Words are their super power and the devil wants
00:17:26.468 --> 00:17:27.069
And the devil wants to use that super power
00:17:27.136 --> 00:17:28.403
To use that super power as their fatal flaw.
00:17:28.470 --> 00:17:31.807
As their fatal flaw. i think it's because so many
00:17:31.874 --> 00:17:32.774
I think it's because so many women are actually so good
00:17:32.841 --> 00:17:33.809
Women are actually so good with words their words can
00:17:33.876 --> 00:17:34.910
With words their words can bind people together.
00:17:34.977 --> 00:17:36.078
Bind people together. and sometimes, that bonding
00:17:36.145 --> 00:17:37.045
And sometimes, that bonding is really good and healthy
00:17:37.112 --> 00:17:38.647
Is really good and healthy and sometimes it's not so good
00:17:38.714 --> 00:17:41.483
And sometimes it's not so good and it's rather unhealthy.
00:17:41.550 --> 00:17:45.187
And it's rather unhealthy. maybe this isn't you at all,
00:17:45.254 --> 00:17:46.121
Maybe this isn't you at all, maybe you're not one of those
00:17:46.188 --> 00:17:46.922
Maybe you're not one of those kind of women but can i just
00:17:46.989 --> 00:17:47.923
Kind of women but can i just ask and beg you pastorally,
00:17:47.990 --> 00:17:50.993
Ask and beg you pastorally, personally, spiritually
00:17:51.059 --> 00:17:53.595
Personally, spiritually to watch your words?
00:17:53.662 --> 00:17:56.632
To watch your words? there's something bonding
00:17:56.698 --> 00:17:58.367
There's something bonding about getting in the room
00:17:58.433 --> 00:17:59.434
About getting in the room and talking about what
00:17:59.501 --> 00:18:00.903
And talking about what your husband is like, don't --
00:18:00.969 --> 00:18:03.639
Your husband is like, don't -- but as satisfying as
00:18:03.705 --> 00:18:04.506
But as satisfying as that is in the moment
00:18:04.573 --> 00:18:05.107
That is in the moment it does not lead
00:18:05.174 --> 00:18:06.408
It does not lead couples closer together.
00:18:06.475 --> 00:18:09.678
Couples closer together. it might be funny to make fun
00:18:09.745 --> 00:18:10.846
It might be funny to make fun of that girl, talk about,
00:18:10.913 --> 00:18:12.581
Of that girl, talk about, "did you hear what she did?"
00:18:12.648 --> 00:18:14.349
"did you hear what she did?" but i guarantee you those same
00:18:14.416 --> 00:18:15.450
But i guarantee you those same people are saying the same
00:18:15.517 --> 00:18:16.952
People are saying the same things about you when
00:18:17.019 --> 00:18:17.619
Things about you when you're not in the room.
00:18:17.686 --> 00:18:18.253
You're not in the room. like, we must bite our lips
00:18:18.320 --> 00:18:21.890
Like, we must bite our lips until they bleed,
00:18:21.957 --> 00:18:24.693
Until they bleed, if the words that
00:18:24.760 --> 00:18:25.294
If the words that are about to come out of us
00:18:25.360 --> 00:18:26.595
Are about to come out of us are not full of truth and love.
00:18:26.662 --> 00:18:31.433
Are not full of truth and love. in 1 timothy 2 the apostle paul
00:18:31.500 --> 00:18:33.936
In 1 timothy 2 the apostle paul speaks to man and he warns
00:18:34.002 --> 00:18:35.137
Speaks to man and he warns them about the way they
00:18:35.204 --> 00:18:35.871
Them about the way they use their hands.
00:18:35.938 --> 00:18:37.406
Use their hands. he says, "i want men to lift up
00:18:37.472 --> 00:18:39.341
He says, "i want men to lift up hands in prayer instead of in
00:18:39.408 --> 00:18:40.642
Hands in prayer instead of in violence and aggression."
00:18:40.709 --> 00:18:42.311
Violence and aggression." in titus 2 paul says,
00:18:42.377 --> 00:18:45.080
In titus 2 paul says, not the same thing to women
00:18:45.147 --> 00:18:45.814
Not the same thing to women but something different he says,
00:18:45.881 --> 00:18:46.648
But something different he says, "i want women to watch
00:18:46.715 --> 00:18:47.583
"i want women to watch their words,"
00:18:47.649 --> 00:18:49.651
Their words," especially older women,
00:18:49.718 --> 00:18:50.552
Especially older women, paul says.
00:18:50.619 --> 00:18:52.287
Paul says. that slander doesn't
00:18:52.354 --> 00:18:52.888
That slander doesn't come out and set fire
00:18:52.955 --> 00:18:54.890
Come out and set fire to a church.
00:18:54.957 --> 00:18:55.424
To a church. please.
00:18:55.490 --> 00:18:58.293
Please. that might be as hard for you
00:18:58.360 --> 00:18:59.194
That might be as hard for you as certain things are for me
00:18:59.261 --> 00:19:00.762
As certain things are for me as a man but fight,
00:19:00.829 --> 00:19:03.232
As a man but fight, fight that temptation
00:19:03.298 --> 00:19:05.534
Fight that temptation to talk about people
00:19:05.601 --> 00:19:06.668
To talk about people instead of to people.
00:19:06.735 --> 00:19:10.472
Instead of to people. and if there's a christian
00:19:10.539 --> 00:19:11.607
And if there's a christian woman in your circle of friends
00:19:11.673 --> 00:19:12.874
Woman in your circle of friends who has the god given courage
00:19:12.941 --> 00:19:14.443
Who has the god given courage to say something to you,
00:19:14.509 --> 00:19:17.813
To say something to you, to call you out to say,
00:19:17.879 --> 00:19:18.547
To call you out to say, "we shouldn't talk about
00:19:18.614 --> 00:19:19.181
"we shouldn't talk about our husband this way,
00:19:19.248 --> 00:19:20.749
Our husband this way, our neighbor this way,
00:19:20.816 --> 00:19:21.750
Our neighbor this way, our enemy this way,"
00:19:21.817 --> 00:19:22.918
Our enemy this way," please, please,
00:19:22.985 --> 00:19:25.687
Please, please, do not punish her
00:19:25.754 --> 00:19:26.755
Do not punish her for being a christian.
00:19:26.822 --> 00:19:29.791
For being a christian. do not make her sit at
00:19:29.858 --> 00:19:30.692
Do not make her sit at the lunch table by herself
00:19:30.759 --> 00:19:32.060
The lunch table by herself because she was actually
00:19:32.127 --> 00:19:32.995
Because she was actually following jesus when
00:19:33.061 --> 00:19:34.563
Following jesus when you weren't.
00:19:34.630 --> 00:19:35.998
You weren't. take a deep breath,
00:19:36.064 --> 00:19:36.565
Take a deep breath, repent of your sin,
00:19:36.632 --> 00:19:38.367
Repent of your sin, thank her for her courage.
00:19:38.433 --> 00:19:41.937
Thank her for her courage. so many of you have
00:19:42.004 --> 00:19:42.604
So many of you have a gift with words,
00:19:42.671 --> 00:19:44.740
A gift with words, let's refuse to let that
00:19:44.806 --> 00:19:45.540
Let's refuse to let that gift become a curse.
00:19:45.607 --> 00:19:53.181
Gift become a curse. whatever your gender
00:19:53.248 --> 00:19:54.583
Whatever your gender and whatever the reason,
00:19:54.650 --> 00:19:55.817
And whatever the reason, whether it's jealousy or pride,
00:19:55.884 --> 00:19:57.719
Whether it's jealousy or pride, or friendship, god loves
00:19:57.786 --> 00:20:00.422
Or friendship, god loves your words too much to not say
00:20:00.489 --> 00:20:02.858
Your words too much to not say some hard words to you today.
00:20:02.924 --> 00:20:05.727
Some hard words to you today. i know this isn't the most fun
00:20:05.794 --> 00:20:07.696
I know this isn't the most fun sunday you've ever had,
00:20:07.763 --> 00:20:09.765
Sunday you've ever had, but i pray i plant a good seed
00:20:09.831 --> 00:20:11.967
But i pray i plant a good seed in your heart that grows
00:20:12.034 --> 00:20:13.335
In your heart that grows into something so much better,
00:20:13.402 --> 00:20:17.673
Into something so much better, because god, he wants
00:20:17.739 --> 00:20:19.675
Because god, he wants so much better for
00:20:19.741 --> 00:20:20.475
So much better for your relationships.
00:20:20.542 --> 00:20:23.478
Your relationships. you know, i learned
00:20:23.545 --> 00:20:23.979
You know, i learned that the book of proverbs
00:20:24.046 --> 00:20:25.480
That the book of proverbs in the bible is a master class
00:20:25.547 --> 00:20:27.783
In the bible is a master class for your mouth.
00:20:27.849 --> 00:20:30.585
For your mouth. it's just filled with
00:20:30.652 --> 00:20:31.453
It's just filled with wisdom about the words to avoid
00:20:31.520 --> 00:20:33.588
Wisdom about the words to avoid and the good words to embrace.
00:20:33.655 --> 00:20:35.724
And the good words to embrace. here's one
00:20:35.791 --> 00:20:36.224
Here's one of my favorite passages,
00:20:36.291 --> 00:20:36.858
Proverbs 18:21 says this,
00:20:36.958 --> 00:20:39.461
Proverbs 18:21 says this, "the tongue,"
00:20:39.528 --> 00:20:39.961
"the tongue," or your words,
00:20:40.028 --> 00:20:40.462
Or your words, "has the power of life
00:20:40.529 --> 00:20:42.864
"has the power of life and death, and those who
00:20:42.931 --> 00:20:44.633
And death, and those who love it will eat its fruit."
00:20:44.700 --> 00:20:48.670
Love it will eat its fruit." let me give an example.
00:20:48.737 --> 00:20:49.304
Did any of you know the week
00:20:49.404 --> 00:20:52.441
Did any of you know the week when the apostle paul
00:20:52.507 --> 00:20:53.642
When the apostle paul became a christian?
00:20:53.709 --> 00:20:54.843
Became a christian? have you read that story?
00:20:54.910 --> 00:20:56.511
Have you read that story? book of acts 9.
00:20:56.578 --> 00:20:57.846
Book of acts 9. paul used to known as saul,
00:20:57.913 --> 00:20:59.314
Paul used to known as saul, and he was, basically,
00:20:59.381 --> 00:21:00.649
And he was, basically, a religious terrorist.
00:21:00.716 --> 00:21:02.718
A religious terrorist. he hunted christians down
00:21:02.784 --> 00:21:04.152
He hunted christians down to have them persecuted,
00:21:04.219 --> 00:21:05.354
To have them persecuted, tried, and killed.
00:21:05.420 --> 00:21:07.322
Tried, and killed. literally, the bible says
00:21:07.389 --> 00:21:07.989
Literally, the bible says he went from door to door,
00:21:08.056 --> 00:21:09.424
He went from door to door, and house to house
00:21:09.491 --> 00:21:10.359
And house to house like the taliban,
00:21:10.425 --> 00:21:11.126
Like the taliban, knocking on every afghani door.
00:21:11.193 --> 00:21:14.496
Knocking on every afghani door. he actually marched, i think,
00:21:14.563 --> 00:21:15.897
He actually marched, i think, 130 miles from jerusalem
00:21:15.964 --> 00:21:18.166
130 miles from jerusalem to damascus to find and --
00:21:18.233 --> 00:21:19.601
To damascus to find and -- he was a bad man and then
00:21:19.668 --> 00:21:21.002
He was a bad man and then jesus showed up.
00:21:21.069 --> 00:21:23.705
Jesus showed up. appeared in the sky,
00:21:23.772 --> 00:21:24.339
Appeared in the sky, confronted him.
00:21:24.406 --> 00:21:25.006
Confronted him. "saul, why are you
00:21:25.073 --> 00:21:26.208
"saul, why are you persecuting me?"
00:21:26.274 --> 00:21:27.943
Persecuting me?" "who are you?"
00:21:28.009 --> 00:21:28.543
"who are you?" saul says to the light.
00:21:28.610 --> 00:21:29.711
Saul says to the light. and he says, "i am jesus."
00:21:29.778 --> 00:21:33.548
And he says, "i am jesus." and paul gets smashed
00:21:33.615 --> 00:21:34.783
And paul gets smashed in the soul realizing --
00:21:34.850 --> 00:21:36.651
In the soul realizing -- he thought he was
00:21:36.718 --> 00:21:37.419
He thought he was such a good, godly man,
00:21:37.486 --> 00:21:38.320
Such a good, godly man, he was actually a monster.
00:21:38.387 --> 00:21:40.956
He was actually a monster. but do you know the next word
00:21:41.022 --> 00:21:41.823
But do you know the next word that was spoken
00:21:41.890 --> 00:21:43.425
That was spoken to the sinner named saul?
00:21:43.492 --> 00:21:45.527
To the sinner named saul? jesus told a christian named
00:21:45.594 --> 00:21:47.162
Jesus told a christian named ananias who lived in the city
00:21:47.229 --> 00:21:48.397
Ananias who lived in the city of damascus to go speak to saul,
00:21:48.463 --> 00:21:50.565
Of damascus to go speak to saul, to baptize him.
00:21:50.632 --> 00:21:51.666
To baptize him. and ananias walks in the door,
00:21:51.733 --> 00:21:52.901
And ananias walks in the door, he knows this mans past.
00:21:52.968 --> 00:21:54.803
He knows this mans past. do you know the first thing
00:21:54.870 --> 00:21:57.739
Do you know the first thing he says to him?
00:21:57.806 --> 00:21:58.673
He says to him? the first word out of his mouth?
00:21:58.740 --> 00:22:02.210
The first word out of his mouth? he addressed him as saul
00:22:02.277 --> 00:22:03.145
He addressed him as saul but there was a word
00:22:03.211 --> 00:22:03.779
But there was a word that came before it,
00:22:03.845 --> 00:22:04.413
That came before it, any of you what it was?
00:22:04.479 --> 00:22:07.716
Any of you what it was? "brother" saul.
00:22:07.783 --> 00:22:12.788
"brother" saul. what?
00:22:12.854 --> 00:22:14.723
What? "wait, wait, wait, this guy,
00:22:14.790 --> 00:22:17.659
"wait, wait, wait, this guy, in the family of god?
00:22:17.726 --> 00:22:19.628
In the family of god? that's my brother?
00:22:19.694 --> 00:22:20.595
That's my brother? that's another son
00:22:20.662 --> 00:22:22.364
That's another son of our heavenly father?
00:22:22.431 --> 00:22:23.331
Of our heavenly father? how could you say --
00:22:23.398 --> 00:22:24.900
How could you say -- how could you say
00:22:24.966 --> 00:22:25.767
How could you say that about him?"
00:22:25.834 --> 00:22:28.537
That about him?" and jesus smiled and said,
00:22:28.603 --> 00:22:30.272
And jesus smiled and said, "because i got a good word.
00:22:30.338 --> 00:22:33.408
"because i got a good word. because the forgiveness
00:22:33.475 --> 00:22:34.042
Because the forgiveness of sins is for that.
00:22:34.109 --> 00:22:34.843
Of sins is for that. because my death on
00:22:34.910 --> 00:22:35.677
Because my death on the cross was for this."
00:22:35.744 --> 00:22:37.979
The cross was for this." but man, paul,
00:22:38.046 --> 00:22:39.648
But man, paul, who could've lived with
00:22:39.714 --> 00:22:40.515
Who could've lived with so much guilt and shame,
00:22:40.582 --> 00:22:41.817
So much guilt and shame, who could've carried
00:22:41.883 --> 00:22:42.717
Who could've carried all the sins of his past,
00:22:42.784 --> 00:22:43.919
All the sins of his past, of his mind and of his mouth,
00:22:43.985 --> 00:22:46.254
Of his mind and of his mouth, instead he had met this
00:22:46.321 --> 00:22:47.422
Instead he had met this jesus who called him such
00:22:47.489 --> 00:22:48.957
Jesus who called him such a good word, brother saul.
00:22:49.024 --> 00:22:53.829
A good word, brother saul. and god does
00:22:53.895 --> 00:22:54.429
And god does the same thing for us.
00:22:54.496 --> 00:22:56.264
The same thing for us. now, maybe you've just wished
00:22:56.331 --> 00:22:57.866
Now, maybe you've just wished there was like a rewind button
00:22:57.933 --> 00:22:59.100
There was like a rewind button on your existence so you could
00:22:59.167 --> 00:23:00.268
On your existence so you could go back and talk different,
00:23:00.335 --> 00:23:02.170
Go back and talk different, there isn't.
00:23:02.237 --> 00:23:03.805
There isn't. but right now jesus
00:23:03.872 --> 00:23:04.739
But right now jesus is pushing play on the gospel
00:23:04.806 --> 00:23:06.107
Is pushing play on the gospel and he says unbelievably
00:23:06.174 --> 00:23:08.276
And he says unbelievably beautiful things about
00:23:08.343 --> 00:23:10.145
Beautiful things about everyone who believes in him.
00:23:10.212 --> 00:23:13.114
Everyone who believes in him. let me share just one
00:23:13.181 --> 00:23:13.915
Let me share just one and then i'll say amen.
00:23:13.982 --> 00:23:14.683
In 1 corinthians 6 paul
00:23:14.783 --> 00:23:16.117
In 1 corinthians 6 paul was being honest about
00:23:16.184 --> 00:23:16.751
Was being honest about sin he said this,
00:23:16.818 --> 00:23:17.552
Sin he said this, "don't be deceived:
00:23:17.619 --> 00:23:20.088
"don't be deceived: neither the sexually immoral
00:23:20.155 --> 00:23:21.122
Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters, nor adulterers,
00:23:21.189 --> 00:23:22.891
Nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who have sex with men,
00:23:22.958 --> 00:23:24.292
Nor men who have sex with men, nor thieves, nor the greedy,
00:23:24.359 --> 00:23:25.393
Nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor slanderers,
00:23:25.460 --> 00:23:28.330
Nor drunkards, nor slanderers, nor swindlers will inherit
00:23:28.396 --> 00:23:29.598
Nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of god."
00:23:29.664 --> 00:23:30.198
The kingdom of god." you can't get in if god sees
00:23:30.265 --> 00:23:31.933
You can't get in if god sees that you're a sinner.
00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:33.635
That you're a sinner. listen to this, "and that
00:23:33.702 --> 00:23:35.070
Listen to this, "and that is what some of you were.
00:23:35.136 --> 00:23:37.839
Is what some of you were. but you were washed,
00:23:37.906 --> 00:23:39.741
But you were washed, you were sanctified,
00:23:39.808 --> 00:23:41.076
You were sanctified, you were justified in the name
00:23:41.142 --> 00:23:42.878
You were justified in the name of the lord jesus christ
00:23:42.944 --> 00:23:44.212
Of the lord jesus christ and by the spirit
00:23:44.279 --> 00:23:47.015
And by the spirit of our god."
00:23:47.082 --> 00:23:47.582
Of our god." isn't it an amazing word?
00:23:47.649 --> 00:23:48.383
Isn't it an amazing word? that's what you were.
00:23:48.450 --> 00:23:50.519
Then jesus showed up
00:23:50.619 --> 00:23:51.286
Then jesus showed up and you were baptized
00:23:51.353 --> 00:23:51.987
And you were baptized and he washed your sins away,
00:23:52.053 --> 00:23:53.188
And he washed your sins away, and he calls you clean
00:23:53.255 --> 00:23:54.122
And he calls you clean and pure, and holy.
00:23:54.189 --> 00:23:55.457
And pure, and holy. you were sanctified,
00:23:55.524 --> 00:23:56.825
You were sanctified, set apart from your past
00:23:56.892 --> 00:23:58.293
Set apart from your past so that god would make you holy,
00:23:58.360 --> 00:24:00.328
So that god would make you holy, see you as a beautiful,
00:24:00.395 --> 00:24:01.730
See you as a beautiful, as a bride on her wedding day.
00:24:01.796 --> 00:24:02.664
As a bride on her wedding day. you were justified.
00:24:02.731 --> 00:24:04.132
You were justified. god spoke a word of not guilty,
00:24:04.199 --> 00:24:05.467
God spoke a word of not guilty, free, saved, safe.
00:24:05.534 --> 00:24:07.469
Free, saved, safe. now, you might --
00:24:07.536 --> 00:24:08.937
Now, you might -- you may feel so much
00:24:09.004 --> 00:24:09.704
You may feel so much shame for your past
00:24:09.771 --> 00:24:10.472
Shame for your past but the gospel speaks
00:24:10.539 --> 00:24:11.973
But the gospel speaks this amazing word to you,
00:24:12.040 --> 00:24:15.343
This amazing word to you, to you.
00:24:15.410 --> 00:24:17.245
To you. and you're a child of god,
00:24:17.312 --> 00:24:18.446
And you're a child of god, a brother and sister
00:24:18.513 --> 00:24:20.048
A brother and sister in the family.
00:24:20.115 --> 00:24:20.715
In the family. you have a hope and a future.
00:24:20.782 --> 00:24:22.450
You have a hope and a future. god has good plans for you.
00:24:22.517 --> 00:24:24.386
God has good plans for you. we would've been so lost
00:24:24.452 --> 00:24:25.487
We would've been so lost and messed up but god,
00:24:25.554 --> 00:24:28.757
And messed up but god, but god who is rich
00:24:28.823 --> 00:24:29.724
But god who is rich in mercy sent his son
00:24:29.791 --> 00:24:31.293
To die on the cross for
00:24:31.393 --> 00:24:32.227
The forgiveness of our sins.
00:24:32.294 --> 00:24:33.628
When that gospel got
00:24:33.695 --> 00:24:35.697
Inside of paul's heart,
00:24:35.764 --> 00:24:38.033
He had to speak differently,
00:24:38.099 --> 00:24:40.635
And i pray the same thing
00:24:40.702 --> 00:24:41.603
Happens to you.
00:24:41.670 --> 00:24:42.604
The more you think
00:24:42.671 --> 00:24:43.238
About the kind,
00:24:43.305 --> 00:24:43.872
Gracious words that
00:24:43.939 --> 00:24:45.106
God has spoken to you
00:24:45.173 --> 00:24:45.974
In jesus that you can't
00:24:46.041 --> 00:24:48.243
Settle for slander.
00:24:48.343 --> 00:24:51.646
Settle for slander. we love because
00:24:51.713 --> 00:24:52.247
We love because he first loved us,
00:24:52.314 --> 00:24:54.049
He first loved us, and we speak truth and love
00:24:54.115 --> 00:24:54.849
And we speak truth and love because he first did it to us.
00:24:54.916 --> 00:24:59.554
Because he first did it to us. so, my brothers, and my sisters,
00:24:59.621 --> 00:25:01.890
So, my brothers, and my sisters, fellow sons and daughters
00:25:01.957 --> 00:25:03.792
Fellow sons and daughters of our heavenly father,
00:25:03.858 --> 00:25:04.859
Of our heavenly father, don't be salty.
00:25:04.926 --> 00:25:07.128
Don't be salty. pour water on that relationship
00:25:07.195 --> 00:25:09.130
Pour water on that relationship with your words just like
00:25:09.197 --> 00:25:11.066
With your words just like jesus first did for you.
00:25:11.132 --> 00:25:13.969
Jesus first did for you. let's pray.
00:25:14.035 --> 00:25:19.975
Let's pray. oh, god, help.
00:25:20.041 --> 00:25:31.152
Oh, god, help. in jesus name, amen.
00:25:31.219 --> 00:25:34.189
>> what a convincing
00:25:34.823 --> 00:25:35.857
>> what a convincing and much-needed message
00:25:35.924 --> 00:25:36.858
And much-needed message from pastor mike today
00:25:36.925 --> 00:25:38.126
From pastor mike today to watch our words
00:25:38.193 --> 00:25:39.227
To watch our words and make sure they are
00:25:39.294 --> 00:25:39.995
And make sure they are building people up,
00:25:40.061 --> 00:25:41.196
Building people up, not tearing them down.
00:25:41.262 --> 00:25:42.497
Not tearing them down. we want to continue encouraging
00:25:42.564 --> 00:25:44.199
We want to continue encouraging you in your walk with god.
00:25:44.265 --> 00:25:46.167
You in your walk with god. we're excited to offer you
00:25:46.234 --> 00:25:47.335
We're excited to offer you a leather-soft
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A leather-soft niv value thinline bible
00:25:48.370 --> 00:25:49.971
Niv value thinline bible this month.
00:25:50.038 --> 00:25:50.939
This month. this easy-to-read bible
00:25:51.006 --> 00:25:52.140
This easy-to-read bible is a great way to engage
00:25:52.207 --> 00:25:53.341
Is a great way to engage with god's word.
00:25:53.408 --> 00:25:54.509
With god's word. we also have a special
00:25:54.576 --> 00:25:55.577
We also have a special bookmark with bible study
00:25:55.644 --> 00:25:56.645
Bookmark with bible study tips from pastor mike.
00:25:56.711 --> 00:25:58.113
Tips from pastor mike. request a bible and bookmark
00:25:58.179 --> 00:25:59.948
Request a bible and bookmark with your gift to time of grace.
00:26:00.015 --> 00:26:01.416
>> every christian wants
00:26:01.783 --> 00:26:02.550
More joy, stronger faith,
00:26:02.651 --> 00:26:04.753
Deeper wisdom,
00:26:04.853 --> 00:26:05.854
Greater love.
00:26:05.954 --> 00:26:06.955
Often, the missing ingredient
00:26:07.055 --> 00:26:08.123
Is consistent, quality time
00:26:08.223 --> 00:26:10.492
Spent in god's word.
00:26:10.592 --> 00:26:12.127
God's word is your invitation
00:26:12.227 --> 00:26:13.628
To connect with the heart
00:26:13.728 --> 00:26:14.696
Of your creator.
00:26:14.796 --> 00:26:15.930
To know who he is,
00:26:16.031 --> 00:26:17.365
What he's like,
00:26:17.465 --> 00:26:18.166
And how you can apply
00:26:18.266 --> 00:26:19.134
His life-giving truth
00:26:19.234 --> 00:26:20.368
To your daily life.
00:26:20.468 --> 00:26:21.603
This slim, easy to read bible
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With a time of grace
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00:26:24.305 --> 00:26:25.306
Is a great way to engage
00:26:25.407 --> 00:26:26.341
With god's word
00:26:26.441 --> 00:26:27.242
Every single day
00:26:27.342 --> 00:26:28.443
And grow in your faith.
00:26:28.543 --> 00:26:29.811
This niv value thinline bible
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Is our way of thanking you
00:26:31.546 --> 00:26:32.714
For your financial support.
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Request yours today
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00:26:38.620 --> 00:26:40.321
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>> time of grace
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Doesn't end here.
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Visit timeofgrace.org
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>> see you next week
00:27:18.393 --> 00:27:18.960
On time of grace.
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Mike Novotny - S - Slander

September 15, 2025 | 29:5

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