Ed Young - Practical Parenting

March 20, 2025 | S25:E68

#Children #Wisdom #Parenting #Jesus #SpiritualFoundation #Control #inActive #Discipline #Christ-like #EdYoung #Foundation #Authority #Parents #Kids #Foolishness #TheWinningWalkwithDr.EdYoung

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The Winning Walk with Dr. Ed Young | Ed Young - Practical Parenting | March 20, 2025

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♪♪♪
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♪♪♪
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Pastor ed: we hear a lot about colors.
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Red states, blue states, purple states, white, green,
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Black, orange.
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We hear a lot about colors, but there's one color that is a
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Very, very dangerous color.
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I don't think you could guess what it is.
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It is an angry color.
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It is a dangerous color.
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It is a color that breeds discord and the color is gray.
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Gray is pigment without any colors.
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All the colors are absent.
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It's just sort of a bland gray.
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And gray is a very, very dangerous color.
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Somebody might say, i thought we'd talk about parenting.
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What does that have to do with parenting?
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I can tell you what it has to do with parenting.
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It has everything to do with parenting.
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You have a gray father who is passive.
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You can predict with almost unerring accuracy the plight of
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The sons of the daughters of a gray dad.
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You can find a mom who is gray and just going through
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The motions.
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It's such a labor, it's such a problem.
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It's exhausting, and you can find children that will turn out
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Tragically like their mom.
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What does it mean to say someone is gray?
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Someone is gray comes out of a lot of our colleges and
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Universities because there are no absolutes.
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You have your truth.
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Oh, i have my truth.
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Whether something is right and wrong, depends upon
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The situation.
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There's nothing you can say that is the way it is.
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That is the way.
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Oh, no, no.
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Everything has to be gray.
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Everything has to be negotiable.
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Everything has to be open.
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But i've got good news.
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♪ the stars at night are big and bright, where? ♪
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Pitiful.
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♪ the stars at night are big and bright, where? ♪♪
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Now, what does that mean?
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Why are the stars at night big and bright deep in the heart
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Of texas?
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I dare say there's only a handful of us here know where
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The heart of texas is located.
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Only a handful.
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It's located in brady, texas, ten miles out to the northeast.
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That's the very heart and central point in texas.
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And brady is a small town.
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It is noted for only one thing, dr. rudder, who was president of
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Texas a&m.
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He's the product of this wide spot in the road almost in the
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Very heart of texas.
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Now, why are the stars at night big and bright
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In the heart in brady, texas?
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Do you know why?
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It's because there's no ambient lights, there's nothing
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Competing with the darkness except you look up and the stars
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At night are big and bright.
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Decisiveness.
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Clarity.
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And when something is gray or someone is gray, there is no
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Deci-- too many competing lights, too many competing
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Agendas, too much noise, too much racket.
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But when there is clarity and that's our problem with
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Parenting, ladies and gentlemen.
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You take any mom and dad and say here's a baby that you've
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Been given.
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What is your goal for that child?
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Well, i want them to be upwardly mobile.
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I hope they're educated, and i hope they have more than i have,
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And i hope-- just some sort of general type of things.
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If you've ever been bird hunting and you think you shotgun, you
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Shoot up there without aiming, chances are you'll hit nothing.
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You'll hit nothing.
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And therefore parents need to know what their goal is.
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What are you trying to develop?
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What would god have you to build into that son and that daughter?
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It has to be a clear thing, a clear definition and that's
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Exactly what we're talking about, isn't it?
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We've been saying, "train up a child in the way he should go."
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Review here for most of us, you may have missed it.
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The way is one way.
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You could train up our children.
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I could train up my children in many ways, but there's really
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One way to train up a child, according to the bible.
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You can read all the psychologists, all the modern
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Books, but god has one way to do it.
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We talked about it in training, train them to love god with all
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They got, first commandment.
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Love god with everything, first and foremost.
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Secondly, train them to love people, love your neighbor, try
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To love-- that we can't as much as we love ourselves, but that's
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Our goal.
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The third thing is bandera, the bandera principle.
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Most of you had a little psychology.
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You don't know who that is.
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Bandera said the way you best teach people is by example, is
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By saying, walk after me, do as i do, live as i live, follow me,
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Follow me.
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That's the principle, and that's the third thing.
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Teach our kids to love god with all they've got.
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Teach our kids how to love people, and you know how they
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Learn to do that, by looking at mom and dad, and we have to say,
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That's the way i want to live, obeying those first two
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Commandments that jesus said has priority of all the other rules
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And regulations.
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Not going too fast for anybody am i? god doesn't make it
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Exceedingly complex.
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It is relatively simple and therefore, i would do anything
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In the world for my kids.
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Model jesus christ in your life.
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Oh, because remember they do pretty much what we require them
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To do until they become teenagers and they begin to do
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And live the way you and i live.
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The way you and i do things, the way you and i think.
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Train up a child.
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When we're doing that, we're not gray parents are we?
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We are decisive.
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We see what god's goal is.
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And then we looked at bringing up a child, remember?
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We looked at proverbs training, then we looked to ephesians in
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Chapter number 6, it says bring up a child in the discipline,
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Big word, an instruction, oh, of the lord.
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And we discovered that discipline primarily takes place
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Between, remember the ages 3 to 13.
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That's when mom and dad really has a role in the eyes and the
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Life of that son or daughter of god.
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That is when we bring them to submission.
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That is when we say this is the way it is, this is how
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Things operate.
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And therefore we take over the authority of our children
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Between three and 13.
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If you don't, oh, that's when you have so many problems with
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Teenagers because they haven't learned that when you say yes,
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You mean yes, you say no, you say no.
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And if you don't do that from 3 to 13, you're in for a long,
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Long, tough ride mom and dad.
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It can change, but it's much more difficult.
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So, discipline first.
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And then after that, there is instruction.
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This is when we talk with them, this is when we explain.
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In those years, 3 to 13, we say you do this, you don't do this.
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You stop, here, you go there and they say, well, why?
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Because i said so, that's enough!
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That's what happens during those years.
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And then the years from 13 followed, it's so much easier
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Because they, you've established a sense of authority, then you
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Can explain.
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Then you can go in the other details that needs to
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Take place.
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We've already been through this.
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Some of you, you missed it.
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Foundational principles of not being a gray mom and dad.
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Clarity, distinctiveness, understanding the goal
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Right there.
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And then we're still in proverbs.
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I wanna show you another little pregnant verse, that's in the
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Same chapter that we find, "train up a child."
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It's in chapter number 22, verse number 15, foolishness is bound
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Up in the heart of the child, and the answer for that is the
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Rod of discipline will remove it far from him.
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Foolishness is bound up in the mind of a child.
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That's our challenge.
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Children are fools.
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Oh boy, oh how my child is.
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Oh, no.
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Children are fools because they cannot determine that which is
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Best for themselves.
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They have free will, but they do not have the ability to make
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Those wise choices, do they?
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No.
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A child is self centered.
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A child is all about me.
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A child is all about what i want, what i like, what gives me
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Pleasure, what i love to eat.
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That's children.
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And we can encourage that foolishness, illustration.
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Here's a five year old says to mama, i want with my friends are
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Having to spend the night party over at so and so's house and i
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Wanna go.
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The mother says, no, you cannot go five years old.
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Man, there's a temper tantrum, "why?
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Everybody's going, i'm invited.
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They're going to have e a good time."
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But mama knows what will happen at
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That little five year old overnight party.
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Mama knows the family, the home in which those children will
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Spend the night.
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And so mama without any explanation says no and there's
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A temper tantrum.
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And then mama says, "well, maybe i made a mistake, you know,
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Maybe i acted too hasty.
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Maybe we need to consider," and then that mother starts to
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Negotiate with the child, a five year old, folks?
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That's the modern world.
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You have to cooperate with your children.
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Let me tell you something, if no doesn't work and you have to
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Bribe-- animals, you trained by food and by punishment.
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Not humans, not children.
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It doesn't work that way ladies and gentlemen.
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And if that mother begins to negotiate with that child, you
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Mark it down, wait till that child gets to be a teenager.
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You know, i don't know why my teenagers like this.
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It's because a father and a mother didn't establish clear
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Without shouting, absolute authority between three and 13.
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A child has a foolish heart because they cannot determine
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With their own understanding with their background, how to
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Really make wise choices, so fathers and mothers have to step
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In and without argument, without debate, without negotiation,
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Without manipulation, without rewards, this is the way we
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Do it.
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You do that from 3 to 13, the teenage years would be a blast.
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It won't be perfect but it'll be infinite easier.
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Throw a temper tantrum ho ho.
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So then train up a child the way they should go because the child
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Has a heart that is foolish.
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Anybody want to debate the foolish of a child's heart?
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No, we understand that.
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What is the answer for that?
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This will surprise you.
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It is the latter part of that 15th verse.
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Look at it.
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The rod, "the rod of discipline will remove it far from him."
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"the rod of discipline will remove it far from him."
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You know the verse.
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Spare the rod spoil for the child.
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Everybody mirror that verse only one problem that is not in
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The bible.
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Hello?
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Oh, i thought, no, no, no.
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"spare the rod, spoil the child," is not in the bible.
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Look for it.
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Can't find it.
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All of us who raised our hand, woop it's not there.
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But what is there?
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It's the instructions, the latter part of what we do about
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Foolishness in the heart of a child as parents.
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It says this is what we do.
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The rod, "the rod of discipline will move it far from him."
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You see the rod of discipline.
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Now, the rod there is in the definite article, what does
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That mean?
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It means that the rod, it is a specific procedure by which we
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Engage in as parents to get the foolish out of our children.
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A rod, not the baseball player, a rod is an indefinite article.
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Rod is used many times in the bible for many things.
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It's used for staff.
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It's used for what the shepherd has, it's used and that is
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A rod.
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You find it over there in exodus chapter number 21.
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A rod can be harmful.
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It is a harm.
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It is a rod, it is a stick, it is a bar, it is a limb, it is
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Something they will harm.
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But the rod doesn't mean discipline can't be in there.
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But the rod says this is the program, the way god has planned
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For you to get foolishness out of your child.
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Do you get the difference?
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The rod is a definite article every time you see it in
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The bible.
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And it says this is god's program.
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This is the way god operates it's the rod.
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It's the program.
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The agenda.
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And you can look at, you can also, you can turn in your bible
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To the very next chapter over to proverbs 23.
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It says, "apply your heart to discipline, and your ears to
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Words of knowledge.
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Do not hold back discipline from the child.
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Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die."
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The rod is not a stick.
00:15:57.312 --> 00:15:59.548
That is a rod.
00:15:59.548 --> 00:16:01.016
The rod is god's principles for getting foolishness out of your
00:16:01.016 --> 00:16:05.487
Sons and daughters.
00:16:05.487 --> 00:16:06.822
Do you get that?
00:16:06.822 --> 00:16:08.157
It's very important.
00:16:08.157 --> 00:16:09.525
Well, you say you don't believe in spanking?
00:16:09.525 --> 00:16:14.830
You don't believe in corporate punishment?
00:16:14.830 --> 00:16:17.199
Yes, but we'll deal with that next time in more detail and
00:16:17.199 --> 00:16:22.137
More practicality.
00:16:22.137 --> 00:16:23.472
But in the meantime, this verse doesn't say every time your
00:16:23.472 --> 00:16:26.275
Child steps out of line, bam.
00:16:26.275 --> 00:16:28.944
Some people think that.
00:16:28.944 --> 00:16:30.279
Oh he did this bam, slap.
00:16:30.279 --> 00:16:33.215
But no, no, no.
00:16:33.215 --> 00:16:34.716
It says that we understand god's program for bringing
00:16:34.716 --> 00:16:39.154
Up children.
00:16:39.154 --> 00:16:40.489
And that is the rod.
00:16:40.489 --> 00:16:43.192
That is a definite article.
00:16:43.192 --> 00:16:46.195
A rod is a stick or a board as you see it in the bible.
00:16:46.195 --> 00:16:50.966
My point, a child's heart is foolish and we have to deal with
00:16:50.966 --> 00:16:58.474
That foolishness, with diligence, with
00:16:58.474 --> 00:17:03.378
Conscientiousness and knowing that our big goal, what we built
00:17:03.378 --> 00:17:07.116
In for our children to be and our children to become.
00:17:07.116 --> 00:17:11.587
And it says we drive it out by what?
00:17:11.587 --> 00:17:16.125
What do we drive it about by?
00:17:16.125 --> 00:17:18.093
Right here in the scripture.
00:17:18.093 --> 00:17:19.761
Go back to our scripture.
00:17:19.761 --> 00:17:21.296
It's very clearly.
00:17:21.296 --> 00:17:22.731
It says the rod, the rod, remember the rod is the
00:17:22.731 --> 00:17:27.269
Principles of god will remove foolishness from that child.
00:17:27.269 --> 00:17:34.343
Now, let's be practical for a moment.
00:17:34.343 --> 00:17:38.180
What is the modus operandi of parenting?
00:17:38.180 --> 00:17:42.518
Unconditional love.
00:17:42.518 --> 00:17:45.154
That's what works in all of this.
00:17:45.154 --> 00:17:47.356
That's how we're able to discipline, to instruct.
00:17:47.356 --> 00:17:51.994
It's because they know our parents modus operandi is love
00:17:51.994 --> 00:17:58.367
And we want them to know a couple of things, to know that
00:17:58.367 --> 00:18:03.205
They are important and to know that they're safe.
00:18:03.205 --> 00:18:08.210
Know that they're important and know that they're safe.
00:18:08.210 --> 00:18:11.180
And they know that big time most of all by discipline.
00:18:11.180 --> 00:18:16.552
They know they're loved because we care enough for them to go
00:18:16.552 --> 00:18:19.788
Out of the way.
00:18:19.788 --> 00:18:21.123
It's easier to bribe a child, to appease a child, to stop
00:18:21.123 --> 00:18:24.726
The crying.
00:18:24.726 --> 00:18:26.195
But how do we use this modus operandi, this unconditional
00:18:26.195 --> 00:18:30.899
Love practically in the whole area of getting the foolishness
00:18:30.899 --> 00:18:34.703
Out of our sons and daughters.
00:18:34.703 --> 00:18:36.505
First of all, we have to control them with our eyes.
00:18:36.505 --> 00:18:46.181
We have to control them with our eyes.
00:18:46.181 --> 00:18:50.485
A baby is born.
00:18:50.485 --> 00:18:53.589
What about, for about three weeks to five weeks, their eyes
00:18:53.589 --> 00:18:59.695
Are trying to focus, okay?
00:18:59.695 --> 00:19:01.830
About five weeks to eight weeks, their eyes just flit around.
00:19:01.830 --> 00:19:04.766
They're looking anywhere.
00:19:04.766 --> 00:19:06.501
When they get about eight weeks up, their eyes begin to slow
00:19:06.501 --> 00:19:09.504
Down and they're all looking for something.
00:19:09.504 --> 00:19:12.107
What is it?
00:19:12.107 --> 00:19:13.442
They're looking for eyes.
00:19:13.442 --> 00:19:16.178
They're looking for the eyes of that mother, the eyes of
00:19:16.178 --> 00:19:19.114
That person.
00:19:19.114 --> 00:19:20.449
The eye is so important.
00:19:20.449 --> 00:19:22.651
Parents need to understand.
00:19:22.651 --> 00:19:24.620
Parents that sort of look at their children, glance at them
00:19:24.620 --> 00:19:27.356
And look over here and they're talking over here, you instruct,
00:19:27.356 --> 00:19:31.460
You communicate love, or discipline with your eyes.
00:19:31.460 --> 00:19:36.865
Going back to school.
00:19:36.865 --> 00:19:38.200
I had an english teacher maiden named miss satterfield.
00:19:38.200 --> 00:19:42.404
She was something and the way she disciplined was that when
00:19:42.404 --> 00:19:47.009
You're doing something wrong, she would say.
00:19:47.009 --> 00:19:51.747
She wouldn't say a word, she'd just looked at you.
00:19:51.747 --> 00:19:53.749
We call it the satterfield eye, and i'm telling you if it were
00:19:53.749 --> 00:19:58.920
On you, you straightened up.
00:19:58.920 --> 00:20:01.123
I've used that for years, but it works.
00:20:01.123 --> 00:20:04.326
So your eyes, we physically contact them with their eyes.
00:20:04.326 --> 00:20:10.198
It is so important for parents.
00:20:10.198 --> 00:20:12.434
Any personality, ever talk to somebody, they sort of talk to
00:20:12.434 --> 00:20:15.237
You like this.
00:20:15.237 --> 00:20:16.571
I don't mean you just stare them down to people, look
00:20:16.571 --> 00:20:18.073
In your eyes.
00:20:18.073 --> 00:20:19.408
No, you just confidently look at people with their eyes.
00:20:19.408 --> 00:20:23.879
Parents, that's the way our children, our babies
00:20:23.879 --> 00:20:27.916
Understand love.
00:20:27.916 --> 00:20:29.318
Also, there is the physical contact, the eye contact, the
00:20:29.318 --> 00:20:33.689
Physical contact.
00:20:33.689 --> 00:20:35.023
There needs to be hugs, there need to be kisses, they need to
00:20:35.023 --> 00:20:37.526
Be touch.
00:20:37.526 --> 00:20:38.860
Even particularly a teenage girl used to be a teenager.
00:20:38.860 --> 00:20:41.463
Her dad needs to hug her in the right way, hug her.
00:20:41.463 --> 00:20:45.033
In fact, there's a study been done.
00:20:45.033 --> 00:20:46.835
I don't know how accurate is that everybody needs ten hugs
00:20:46.835 --> 00:20:50.072
A day.
00:20:50.072 --> 00:20:52.407
That just helps everything.
00:20:52.407 --> 00:20:54.609
This is nothing to do with sensuality.
00:20:54.609 --> 00:20:57.179
By the way, they have large professional huggers all over
00:20:57.179 --> 00:21:01.350
America now.
00:21:01.350 --> 00:21:02.684
It is not prostitution, it's not anything sensual.
00:21:02.684 --> 00:21:05.721
They're just people who go around and they hug people in
00:21:05.721 --> 00:21:09.057
Rest homes.
00:21:09.057 --> 00:21:10.392
After covid, they were really popular and they just go and hug
00:21:10.392 --> 00:21:13.495
People and hug people.
00:21:13.495 --> 00:21:15.130
One lady i read about made over $300,000 a year as a hugger, a
00:21:15.130 --> 00:21:19.468
Professional hugger.
00:21:19.468 --> 00:21:22.337
Why?
00:21:22.337 --> 00:21:24.339
By our eyes, we communicate, we care, we love by hugging and
00:21:24.339 --> 00:21:29.378
Affection in the right way.
00:21:29.378 --> 00:21:32.080
We communicate that.
00:21:32.080 --> 00:21:33.415
We all need about ten hugs a day.
00:21:33.415 --> 00:21:36.718
This is what we have.
00:21:36.718 --> 00:21:38.053
Also, there needs to be not only eye contact, physical contact,
00:21:38.053 --> 00:21:43.558
There has to be emotional contact.
00:21:43.558 --> 00:21:46.728
Study your baby, study your son, your daughter and get to know
00:21:46.728 --> 00:21:50.599
Them and understand their heart and somehow bind your heart
00:21:50.599 --> 00:21:55.170
Around their heart.
00:21:55.170 --> 00:21:57.239
And then you begin really to be a successful parent in the
00:21:57.239 --> 00:22:01.376
21st century.
00:22:01.376 --> 00:22:04.045
It starts way back during pregnancy.
00:22:04.045 --> 00:22:07.783
Certainly when they're born.
00:22:07.783 --> 00:22:09.985
These are biblical principles that are beautiful when we
00:22:09.985 --> 00:22:13.789
Practice them.
00:22:13.789 --> 00:22:15.123
We see wonderful things coming through the life of your
00:22:15.123 --> 00:22:18.560
Children, and my children and my grandchildren.
00:22:18.560 --> 00:22:22.731
This is how we do it.
00:22:22.731 --> 00:22:27.102
Tommy edison was in the second grade.
00:22:27.102 --> 00:22:33.475
He came home from school one day, and tommy gave his mother a
00:22:33.475 --> 00:22:37.245
Note and said mother this note is from the teacher, and she
00:22:37.245 --> 00:22:46.922
Told me to give it to you.
00:22:46.922 --> 00:22:49.825
And the note read, "dear mrs. edison," and as the mother read
00:22:49.825 --> 00:22:56.798
It to little tommy, he said, read it to me and with tears in
00:22:56.798 --> 00:23:00.569
Her eyes that she's read.
00:23:00.569 --> 00:23:02.137
Dear mrs. edison, your son, tommy is brilliant.
00:23:02.137 --> 00:23:08.276
He's a genius.
00:23:08.276 --> 00:23:10.111
He's far beyond the ability of any teacher in this school to
00:23:10.111 --> 00:23:13.315
Teach him.
00:23:13.315 --> 00:23:14.649
You're going to have to teach him at home.
00:23:14.649 --> 00:23:17.486
He's not welcome back here because he is far, far beyond
00:23:17.486 --> 00:23:21.990
Anything we can do.
00:23:21.990 --> 00:23:25.293
So mrs. edison taught her son at home.
00:23:25.293 --> 00:23:30.298
He became thomas edison, perhaps one of the most creative minds
00:23:30.298 --> 00:23:36.438
Ever produced, not only in america, but in the world.
00:23:36.438 --> 00:23:40.709
When his mother died, years later, he was looking through
00:23:40.709 --> 00:23:45.280
Some things in a drawer.
00:23:45.280 --> 00:23:47.883
And according to his memoir, he saw that little note that he'd
00:23:47.883 --> 00:23:52.187
Carried home to his mother.
00:23:52.187 --> 00:23:54.956
And he said, you know, i want to read that note myself.
00:23:54.956 --> 00:23:57.559
And the note didn't say what his mother said that it said, the
00:23:57.559 --> 00:24:02.430
Note said, your son is addled, that meant mentally ill in
00:24:02.430 --> 00:24:07.135
That day.
00:24:07.135 --> 00:24:08.803
We won't let him come back to school here any more.
00:24:08.803 --> 00:24:13.675
You'll have to teach him.
00:24:13.675 --> 00:24:16.745
Edison said when he read that he cried and cried for hours.
00:24:16.745 --> 00:24:23.552
And then he wrote in his memoir, these words, thomas alva edison
00:24:23.552 --> 00:24:30.025
Was an addled child that a hero mother became, became the genius
00:24:30.025 --> 00:24:38.199
Of the century.
00:24:38.199 --> 00:24:40.101
Mom and dad, everybody may give up on your son and daughter
00:24:40.101 --> 00:24:43.638
Because they say, oh, they're fools, but a mom and dad who
00:24:43.638 --> 00:24:49.377
Brings a child up, teaching, loving with unconditional love.
00:24:49.377 --> 00:24:58.286
You'll be amazed at what that son and daughter will become.
00:24:59.721 --> 00:25:05.260
Male announcer: for a limited time,
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Dr. young would like to give you his book,
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"the winning walk."
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It's our gift to you for your financial support
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Of this ministry.
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Ed: did you know walking involves practically every
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Muscle in the body?
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None of us are born with the ability to walk.
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It requires strength and balance and coordination
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And time.
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I have found walking with god is no different.
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No one instantly becomes an overcoming christian.
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We must take those first timid steps, cling to the father's
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Hand before we can walk worthy of our calling as
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Children of the king.
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Like all journeys, "the winning walk," requires
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The proper equipment and preparation.
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By outfitting our lives with the word of god,
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We'll be able to follow wherever the master leads.
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Announcer: get your copy today.
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At winningwalk.org.
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♪♪♪
00:26:03.151 --> 00:26:18.099
Pastor ed: of all the responsibilities god has
00:26:18.166 --> 00:26:20.168
Entrusted to me, i can't think of more thrilling or challenging
00:26:20.168 --> 00:26:23.772
One than being a parent.
00:26:23.772 --> 00:26:25.874
Our kids are a gift from the almighty.
00:26:25.874 --> 00:26:28.410
We are to nurture them, to teach them, to build of them the right
00:26:28.410 --> 00:26:32.113
Stuff as sons and daughters.
00:26:32.113 --> 00:26:34.249
As you've probably figured out by now, parenting is truly a
00:26:34.249 --> 00:26:38.253
Full time job and sometimes it could be an overwhelming task.
00:26:38.253 --> 00:26:43.658
But thankfully, we do not have to do it alone.
00:26:43.658 --> 00:26:46.828
You can begin today by admitting that you don't have all
00:26:46.828 --> 00:26:50.131
The answers.
00:26:50.131 --> 00:26:51.466
I certainly don't.
00:26:51.466 --> 00:26:52.801
And then we turn to the one who does, god.
00:26:52.801 --> 00:26:56.471
God's word, the bible offers practical principles for
00:26:56.471 --> 00:27:00.375
Parenting today and every single day.
00:27:00.375 --> 00:27:03.545
So stop relying on yourself and your own knowledge and skills
00:27:03.545 --> 00:27:07.649
And instead start depending on god and his divine wisdom.
00:27:07.649 --> 00:27:14.456
He invented the family.
00:27:14.456 --> 00:27:16.491
Invite jesus to be the leader in your home.
00:27:16.491 --> 00:27:19.728
And i can't think of anyone more qualified than jesus.
00:27:19.728 --> 00:27:23.865
Can you?
00:27:23.865 --> 00:27:23.865

Ed Young - Practical Parenting

March 20, 2025 | S25:E68

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