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The Winning Walk with Dr. Ed Young

Ed Young - Pure Sex

April 16, 2026 | 27:29

Ed Young - Pure Sex
The Winning Walk with Dr. Ed Young is the international on-air and online teaching ministry of Dr. Ed Young. The Winning Walk proclaims the proven truth of God’s Word to give men and women the world over a winning way to live life.
#Purity #Sex #Sexuality #Relationships #Intimacy #Marriage #Husband #Wife #Fruitful #Purpose #SexBeforeMarriage #PremaritalSex #Boundaries #Honor #GlorifyGod #Holiness #Covenant #EdYoung

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The Winning Walk with Dr. Ed Young | Ed Young - Pure Sex | April 16, 2026
  • Time away.
  • 00:00:01.724 --> 00:00:04.661
  • Yeah.
  • 00:00:04.661 --> 00:00:06.296
  • Cut out everything else.
  • 00:00:06.296 --> 00:00:08.131
  • Shut off computers and phones and activities
  • 00:00:08.131 --> 00:00:11.501
  • And times away with a husband and a wife.
  • 00:00:11.501 --> 00:00:14.170
  • Doesn't matter where you go, how you go.
  • 00:00:14.170 --> 00:00:16.072
  • Shut the door.
  • 00:00:16.072 --> 00:00:16.806
  • Get away!
  • 00:00:16.806 --> 00:00:17.841
  • Time away.
  • 00:00:17.841 --> 00:00:20.610
  • We're talking about sexual intimacy.
  • 00:00:20.610 --> 00:00:22.912
  • We're talking about a relationship
  • 00:00:22.912 --> 00:00:24.581
  • That is growing and developing sweeter and better.
  • 00:00:24.581 --> 00:00:28.017
  • Year by year.
  • 00:00:28.017 --> 00:00:29.252
  • By year by year.
  • 00:00:29.252 --> 00:00:49.672
  • What's the first command
  • 00:00:50.206 --> 00:00:52.942
  • God gave to human beings
  • 00:00:53.476 --> 00:00:57.080
  • In all of history?
  • 00:00:57.514 --> 00:00:59.549
  • What's the first command?
  • 00:00:59.549 --> 00:01:01.284
  • I'm going to read it to you.
  • 00:01:01.284 --> 00:01:03.319
  • Genesis chapter number one,
  • 00:01:03.319 --> 00:01:06.256
  • Verse 2728.
  • 00:01:06.256 --> 00:01:09.592
  • So god created man in his own image
  • 00:01:10.326 --> 00:01:14.164
  • And the image of god.
  • 00:01:14.664 --> 00:01:16.099
  • He created him male and female.
  • 00:01:16.099 --> 00:01:19.936
  • He created them.
  • 00:01:19.936 --> 00:01:22.038
  • Then god blessed them and said to them,
  • 00:01:22.038 --> 00:01:24.974
  • Have sex.
  • 00:01:24.974 --> 00:01:28.811
  • That's not in your translation.
  • 00:01:29.445 --> 00:01:33.249
  • You never read that before.
  • 00:01:33.850 --> 00:01:37.020
  • The first command god
  • 00:01:37.520 --> 00:01:39.022
  • Gave to human beings
  • 00:01:39.022 --> 00:01:42.025
  • Was to have sex,
  • 00:01:42.025 --> 00:01:44.794
  • Be fruitful,
  • 00:01:45.128 --> 00:01:47.297
  • And multiply.
  • 00:01:47.297 --> 00:01:49.699
  • Have sex.
  • 00:01:49.699 --> 00:01:52.368
  • And then in chapter
  • 00:01:52.368 --> 00:01:53.536
  • Number two, god performed
  • 00:01:53.536 --> 00:01:56.272
  • The first marriage ceremony
  • 00:01:56.272 --> 00:01:59.609
  • So that adam and eve
  • 00:01:59.609 --> 00:02:02.445
  • Would be in covenant with him and with one another.
  • 00:02:02.445 --> 00:02:05.615
  • We know the formula.
  • 00:02:05.615 --> 00:02:07.951
  • Leave, cleave one flesh.
  • 00:02:07.951 --> 00:02:11.588
  • You are, as we say, but naked.
  • 00:02:11.588 --> 00:02:17.360
  • With no shame.
  • 00:02:17.694 --> 00:02:20.463
  • Oh, you see, prudes
  • 00:02:20.463 --> 00:02:24.234
  • Do not like the bible.
  • 00:02:24.701 --> 00:02:27.704
  • The bible is very clear about human sexuality.
  • 00:02:27.704 --> 00:02:32.041
  • It is very open.
  • 00:02:32.442 --> 00:02:33.576
  • It is very plain.
  • 00:02:33.576 --> 00:02:35.178
  • It is very, very vivid.
  • 00:02:35.178 --> 00:02:38.147
  • And so we in our culture somehow
  • 00:02:38.848 --> 00:02:41.618
  • Have got this all confused because had you noticed
  • 00:02:41.618 --> 00:02:45.121
  • Something happen
  • 00:02:45.121 --> 00:02:47.957
  • In american culture on the way to the 21st century,
  • 00:02:47.957 --> 00:02:51.160
  • Did you notice it?
  • 00:02:51.160 --> 00:02:53.229
  • One of the main things is
  • 00:02:53.796 --> 00:02:55.765
  • A total misunderstanding of human sexuality.
  • 00:02:55.765 --> 00:03:01.838
  • Guess what?
  • 00:03:02.171 --> 00:03:03.873
  • As i recently read, they're not
  • 00:03:03.873 --> 00:03:06.175
  • 71 different genders.
  • 00:03:06.175 --> 00:03:09.012
  • Oh, yes.
  • 00:03:09.012 --> 00:03:11.347
  • There's only two.
  • 00:03:11.347 --> 00:03:17.887
  • And so we turn.
  • 00:03:18.254 --> 00:03:20.390
  • To the scripture to understand
  • 00:03:20.390 --> 00:03:23.393
  • This wonderful, beautiful, sacred gift
  • 00:03:24.160 --> 00:03:28.231
  • Of sex and sexuality.
  • 00:03:28.731 --> 00:03:32.068
  • God invented sex.
  • 00:03:32.502 --> 00:03:34.804
  • He gave it to us.
  • 00:03:34.804 --> 00:03:37.040
  • It is magnificent.
  • 00:03:37.040 --> 00:03:38.508
  • It is glorious.
  • 00:03:38.508 --> 00:03:41.110
  • And we need to understand this gift as we need
  • 00:03:41.110 --> 00:03:45.882
  • To understand all of his gifts
  • 00:03:45.882 --> 00:03:48.618
  • In the context of the church.
  • 00:03:48.618 --> 00:03:52.055
  • We made a serious mistake with our young people.
  • 00:03:52.055 --> 00:03:54.857
  • A tragic mistake with our young people.
  • 00:03:55.658 --> 00:03:58.728
  • We brought them up in a church and many times
  • 00:03:58.728 --> 00:04:01.464
  • With christian parents.
  • 00:04:01.464 --> 00:04:03.166
  • We talk to them about being pure and celibate
  • 00:04:03.166 --> 00:04:07.103
  • Before they get married,
  • 00:04:07.103 --> 00:04:10.273
  • And they accept that by and large,
  • 00:04:10.273 --> 00:04:13.543
  • They abstain.
  • 00:04:13.910 --> 00:04:15.078
  • By and large.
  • 00:04:15.078 --> 00:04:17.180
  • And then we spend 50 or $75,000 a year
  • 00:04:17.180 --> 00:04:20.950
  • And send in some college or university.
  • 00:04:20.950 --> 00:04:24.721
  • And while their their sex is
  • 00:04:25.321 --> 00:04:27.657
  • So dominant and sex is so accepted.
  • 00:04:27.657 --> 00:04:30.460
  • You think that something's wrong with you
  • 00:04:30.460 --> 00:04:32.362
  • If you have not had sex with the opposite sex?
  • 00:04:32.362 --> 00:04:35.631
  • And therefore they say, you know,
  • 00:04:36.366 --> 00:04:39.736
  • The bible was wrong.
  • 00:04:40.203 --> 00:04:41.604
  • Evidently, as i was taught, as my father and mother tried
  • 00:04:41.604 --> 00:04:45.108
  • To teach me about sex.
  • 00:04:45.108 --> 00:04:46.509
  • And it is a wonderful, fabulous thing.
  • 00:04:46.509 --> 00:04:49.045
  • And then they have to go and listen into a sacred
  • 00:04:49.045 --> 00:04:53.850
  • In the classroom and say, anthropology.
  • 00:04:53.850 --> 00:04:57.420
  • And the professor said, well, there's no way
  • 00:04:58.321 --> 00:05:00.957
  • They could be a god of love because of all the suffering.
  • 00:05:00.957 --> 00:05:04.427
  • And they say, oh, that's it.
  • 00:05:04.427 --> 00:05:07.296
  • When our kids no longer believe in god in church,
  • 00:05:08.297 --> 00:05:11.567
  • The way they were brought up to believe in god, in church,
  • 00:05:11.567 --> 00:05:14.404
  • We say, well, they're mixed up in their mind.
  • 00:05:14.404 --> 00:05:16.639
  • No. first of all, it came, that came sexual promiscuity.
  • 00:05:16.639 --> 00:05:21.277
  • And then there was the theological problem.
  • 00:05:21.277 --> 00:05:23.679
  • I've got to get away.
  • 00:05:23.679 --> 00:05:24.647
  • The bible and that which i'm taught.
  • 00:05:24.647 --> 00:05:27.950
  • Aldous huxley, brilliant scholar.
  • 00:05:28.651 --> 00:05:31.521
  • Theologian.
  • 00:05:31.521 --> 00:05:32.388
  • He's very honest about it.
  • 00:05:32.388 --> 00:05:34.624
  • He said i had to come to a posture that there is no god,
  • 00:05:34.624 --> 00:05:38.428
  • Because if there were a god, it would interfere
  • 00:05:38.428 --> 00:05:41.264
  • With my expression of my sexual life.
  • 00:05:41.264 --> 00:05:45.535
  • So this is where we are.
  • 00:05:46.068 --> 00:05:48.704
  • We have lost the purpose of sex and what sex is for.
  • 00:05:48.704 --> 00:05:52.775
  • Sex is given to human beings
  • 00:05:52.775 --> 00:05:55.511
  • To be exercise gloriously,
  • 00:05:55.511 --> 00:05:58.781
  • Creatively, dynamically
  • 00:05:59.282 --> 00:06:02.518
  • In the context of marriage.
  • 00:06:02.518 --> 00:06:05.421
  • Someone says, well, you know, sex is just like
  • 00:06:06.389 --> 00:06:08.691
  • A drive for food.
  • 00:06:08.691 --> 00:06:09.725
  • No, it's not
  • 00:06:09.725 --> 00:06:11.627
  • A drive for food has to have some parameters.
  • 00:06:11.627 --> 00:06:14.530
  • If we would eat and eat and eat and eat,
  • 00:06:15.364 --> 00:06:17.767
  • All of us would weigh 600 pounds and come forward.
  • 00:06:17.767 --> 00:06:20.870
  • I signed your death certificate.
  • 00:06:20.870 --> 00:06:23.940
  • Food has to have parameter
  • 00:06:23.940 --> 00:06:26.209
  • Sex more than food has to have parameters.
  • 00:06:26.209 --> 00:06:29.645
  • And the parameters for the expression of sex
  • 00:06:29.645 --> 00:06:32.782
  • Is within the sanctity
  • 00:06:32.782 --> 00:06:36.319
  • And the holiness of marriage.
  • 00:06:36.319 --> 00:06:40.156
  • And then there's celebration.
  • 00:06:40.790 --> 00:06:43.693
  • What is the purpose of marriage?
  • 00:06:43.693 --> 00:06:47.029
  • Procreation.
  • 00:06:47.363 --> 00:06:48.598
  • We got that. have children.
  • 00:06:48.598 --> 00:06:51.634
  • Have children.
  • 00:06:51.968 --> 00:06:53.703
  • Number two, it is for pleasure.
  • 00:06:53.703 --> 00:06:57.139
  • Now, some of our church fathers got confused at this point,
  • 00:06:57.139 --> 00:07:00.810
  • Namely augustine.
  • 00:07:01.244 --> 00:07:04.780
  • Namely aquinas.
  • 00:07:05.147 --> 00:07:07.517
  • But he's also for pleasure.
  • 00:07:07.517 --> 00:07:09.285
  • I'll debate that.
  • 00:07:09.285 --> 00:07:10.253
  • That's pretty clear, isn't it?
  • 00:07:10.253 --> 00:07:12.221
  • Also, it is a a symbol,
  • 00:07:12.221 --> 00:07:15.224
  • A reenactment of the covenant.
  • 00:07:15.224 --> 00:07:18.127
  • If you're a christian that we have with god
  • 00:07:18.127 --> 00:07:20.396
  • And jesus christ, read the bible and all
  • 00:07:20.396 --> 00:07:23.866
  • The covenants are restated, restated, restated.
  • 00:07:23.866 --> 00:07:27.069
  • The covenant god has.
  • 00:07:27.069 --> 00:07:28.204
  • Abraham is stated over and over and over again.
  • 00:07:28.204 --> 00:07:31.841
  • The government, isaac and jacob.
  • 00:07:31.841 --> 00:07:33.209
  • All the covenants in the bible are restated
  • 00:07:33.209 --> 00:07:36.045
  • And restated to remind us
  • 00:07:36.045 --> 00:07:39.248
  • Of the relationship and the promises of god.
  • 00:07:39.248 --> 00:07:42.919
  • Every time a married couple has sex together,
  • 00:07:42.919 --> 00:07:46.522
  • They are restating and re establishing the covenant.
  • 00:07:46.522 --> 00:07:50.927
  • They have with god in christ.
  • 00:07:50.927 --> 00:07:53.162
  • It is a sacred covenant.
  • 00:07:53.696 --> 00:07:55.231
  • A man
  • 00:07:55.231 --> 00:07:56.699
  • Just like we go to the lord's table.
  • 00:07:56.699 --> 00:07:58.935
  • The bread and the wine. the cup.
  • 00:07:58.935 --> 00:08:01.470
  • It is a restatement of
  • 00:08:01.470 --> 00:08:04.640
  • The covenant we have with god in jesus christ,
  • 00:08:04.640 --> 00:08:07.510
  • In our personal salvation
  • 00:08:07.510 --> 00:08:09.312
  • And his lordship over your life, in my life.
  • 00:08:09.312 --> 00:08:12.214
  • So it is with sexual intimacy.
  • 00:08:12.214 --> 00:08:14.884
  • You see how fabulous
  • 00:08:14.884 --> 00:08:18.054
  • This relationship is?
  • 00:08:18.554 --> 00:08:21.223
  • And we have totally got it
  • 00:08:21.223 --> 00:08:23.359
  • Confused on one extreme.
  • 00:08:23.359 --> 00:08:26.529
  • There is the playboy philosophy of anything goes.
  • 00:08:26.529 --> 00:08:30.399
  • Hey, anything goes.
  • 00:08:30.399 --> 00:08:33.502
  • On the other extreme, there is
  • 00:08:34.103 --> 00:08:37.373
  • Plato's philosophy of sex is evil.
  • 00:08:37.373 --> 00:08:40.509
  • Doesn't matter. it's on the lower, lower level.
  • 00:08:40.509 --> 00:08:43.045
  • This thing about the body is nothing.
  • 00:08:43.045 --> 00:08:45.815
  • So one extreme anything
  • 00:08:46.315 --> 00:08:48.250
  • Goes, the other extreme nothing goes.
  • 00:08:48.250 --> 00:08:51.087
  • But what is the posture we have as christians?
  • 00:08:51.988 --> 00:08:55.124
  • It is that in marriage
  • 00:08:55.591 --> 00:08:57.727
  • There is an openness, and we've already said it.
  • 00:08:57.727 --> 00:09:00.997
  • There is a nakedness and there is no shame.
  • 00:09:00.997 --> 00:09:04.634
  • I heard someone say that sex in
  • 00:09:05.267 --> 00:09:08.137
  • Marriage is like oil in a machine.
  • 00:09:08.137 --> 00:09:12.141
  • It keeps all the parts working and there's no resting.
  • 00:09:12.141 --> 00:09:18.114
  • So how do we handle sex?
  • 00:09:18.648 --> 00:09:21.717
  • The secular world would tell you
  • 00:09:21.717 --> 00:09:24.587
  • That males
  • 00:09:24.887 --> 00:09:27.356
  • Give love in order to get sex.
  • 00:09:27.356 --> 00:09:31.794
  • I'm on the other side of the coin.
  • 00:09:32.528 --> 00:09:35.564
  • They say females give sex
  • 00:09:35.564 --> 00:09:38.467
  • In order to get love.
  • 00:09:38.467 --> 00:09:41.671
  • Totally inaccurate.
  • 00:09:42.138 --> 00:09:46.509
  • So we come to look to the bible
  • 00:09:44.407 --> 00:09:48.644
  • And get clear instructions
  • 00:09:48.644 --> 00:09:51.981
  • As to how this most sacred gift operates.
  • 00:09:52.815 --> 00:09:56.118
  • So we open the song of solomon or the song of psalms.
  • 00:09:56.118 --> 00:10:00.523
  • What does that mean?
  • 00:10:00.523 --> 00:10:02.358
  • It must mean that this book
  • 00:10:02.358 --> 00:10:05.127
  • Tells us how to sing
  • 00:10:05.594 --> 00:10:07.697
  • The number one song in life.
  • 00:10:07.697 --> 00:10:10.866
  • In the area of human sexuality.
  • 00:10:10.866 --> 00:10:14.003
  • It's the preeminent song,
  • 00:10:14.570 --> 00:10:17.740
  • The song of songs.
  • 00:10:18.174 --> 00:10:20.910
  • So we're talking about unashamedly
  • 00:10:20.910 --> 00:10:23.746
  • Sexual intimacy.
  • 00:10:24.146 --> 00:10:28.084
  • The operative word
  • 00:10:28.517 --> 00:10:30.019
  • For sexual intimacy is time.
  • 00:10:30.019 --> 00:10:34.390
  • I am the operative word for sexual intimacy is.
  • 00:10:34.390 --> 00:10:40.896
  • Help me.
  • 00:10:41.163 --> 00:10:41.697
  • Choir all together.
  • 00:10:41.697 --> 00:10:43.966
  • The operative word for sexual intimacy is time.
  • 00:10:43.966 --> 00:10:49.605
  • So we open the book of ecclesiastes.
  • 00:10:50.406 --> 00:10:53.275
  • And i wish we had the time
  • 00:10:53.843 --> 00:10:57.213
  • To read all these passages,
  • 00:10:57.813 --> 00:10:59.582
  • But i'm just going to make references to them,
  • 00:10:59.582 --> 00:11:02.485
  • And you can go back and check them out,
  • 00:11:03.352 --> 00:11:06.522
  • Because time is important.
  • 00:11:06.522 --> 00:11:08.290
  • We studying first corinthians.
  • 00:11:08.290 --> 00:11:10.826
  • You read in first corinthians chapter number seven.
  • 00:11:10.826 --> 00:11:13.496
  • A little verse how in married life
  • 00:11:13.496 --> 00:11:15.898
  • There are occasions when when sex is not
  • 00:11:15.898 --> 00:11:19.101
  • Participated in by the husband wife,
  • 00:11:19.101 --> 00:11:21.771
  • Because that happens only for a time.
  • 00:11:21.771 --> 00:11:25.508
  • Remember?
  • 00:11:25.808 --> 00:11:28.077
  • So we come to ecclesiastes
  • 00:11:28.077 --> 00:11:31.213
  • And we see that sexual intimacy takes time.
  • 00:11:31.213 --> 00:11:35.084
  • You read about solomon.
  • 00:11:35.084 --> 00:11:38.287
  • He's attracted to the suit of might.
  • 00:11:39.088 --> 00:11:40.856
  • Woman. sheila
  • 00:11:40.856 --> 00:11:43.058
  • And solo.
  • 00:11:43.058 --> 00:11:45.194
  • Abbreviated names.
  • 00:11:45.194 --> 00:11:47.296
  • And solomon was attracted to her.
  • 00:11:47.296 --> 00:11:49.598
  • And in chapter number one he describes for us
  • 00:11:49.598 --> 00:11:53.235
  • How he saw her.
  • 00:11:53.602 --> 00:11:55.471
  • Chapter one in mind, in that day
  • 00:11:55.471 --> 00:11:58.040
  • The body was totally covered, and all he saw was her face.
  • 00:11:58.040 --> 00:12:02.278
  • And so in chapter one,
  • 00:12:02.745 --> 00:12:04.213
  • When he saw this kilobyte girl, he describes her face,
  • 00:12:04.213 --> 00:12:09.251
  • Man, her her eyes, her her cheeks, her lips, her neck.
  • 00:12:09.251 --> 00:12:13.389
  • That's all he could see.
  • 00:12:13.389 --> 00:12:15.257
  • That was the introductory part.
  • 00:12:15.257 --> 00:12:18.360
  • That was the first step in time with her.
  • 00:12:18.360 --> 00:12:22.131
  • And then there's a little bit about courtship.
  • 00:12:22.131 --> 00:12:25.634
  • And then on that wedding night,
  • 00:12:25.634 --> 00:12:28.971
  • We move on to chapter number four.
  • 00:12:28.971 --> 00:12:31.540
  • He describes more of her body.
  • 00:12:31.540 --> 00:12:34.877
  • He describes her eyes, her neck.
  • 00:12:34.877 --> 00:12:37.146
  • He describes her breasts.
  • 00:12:37.146 --> 00:12:38.614
  • You see, there's a development there in intimacy
  • 00:12:38.614 --> 00:12:41.951
  • On the wedding night.
  • 00:12:42.451 --> 00:12:44.854
  • Everybody wants a happy home.
  • 00:12:44.854 --> 00:12:47.857
  • But let's be honest.
  • 00:12:47.857 --> 00:12:49.358
  • A happy home doesn't just happen.
  • 00:12:49.358 --> 00:12:52.261
  • It's built.
  • 00:12:52.261 --> 00:12:53.529
  • It's shaped.
  • 00:12:53.529 --> 00:12:54.964
  • Day by day by day.
  • 00:12:54.964 --> 00:12:57.099
  • That's why i want to encourage you to read
  • 00:12:57.099 --> 00:12:59.668
  • This little booklet, cardinal rules for a happy home.
  • 00:12:59.668 --> 00:13:02.905
  • This 90 day devotional is from
  • 00:13:02.905 --> 00:13:05.407
  • Decades of real life pastoring,
  • 00:13:05.407 --> 00:13:08.677
  • Counseling, and building my own home and family.
  • 00:13:08.677 --> 00:13:12.047
  • In the page of this
  • 00:13:12.514 --> 00:13:13.515
  • Book each day you will find a simple rhythm
  • 00:13:13.515 --> 00:13:16.852
  • As of scripture,
  • 00:13:17.253 --> 00:13:19.088
  • Practical, down to earth navigation,
  • 00:13:19.088 --> 00:13:22.024
  • And a guided prayer to help you bring it all home.
  • 00:13:22.024 --> 00:13:26.528
  • We're not talking about something complicated here.
  • 00:13:26.528 --> 00:13:29.164
  • We're talking about just 15 minutes a day.
  • 00:13:29.164 --> 00:13:32.167
  • 15 minutes.
  • 00:13:32.167 --> 00:13:33.869
  • Did you can strengthen your marriage and refocus
  • 00:13:33.869 --> 00:13:36.572
  • Your home on what matters the most in christ
  • 00:13:36.572 --> 00:13:40.976
  • Centered, foundation, practical, down to earth.
  • 00:13:40.976 --> 00:13:44.246
  • Your life.
  • 00:13:44.546 --> 00:13:45.681
  • Because when christ is at the center, guess what?
  • 00:13:45.681 --> 00:13:48.651
  • Everything else changes.
  • 00:13:48.651 --> 00:13:51.654
  • Conversations change.
  • 00:13:52.154 --> 00:13:54.023
  • Priorities change.
  • 00:13:54.023 --> 00:13:55.658
  • Hearts begin to change.
  • 00:13:55.658 --> 00:13:57.493
  • Take that first step today.
  • 00:13:57.493 --> 00:13:59.762
  • Call the number or visit the website below
  • 00:13:59.762 --> 00:14:02.097
  • And get cardinal rules for a happy home
  • 00:14:02.097 --> 00:14:05.167
  • And begin your 90 day journey
  • 00:14:05.167 --> 00:14:07.937
  • Right now.
  • 00:14:08.237 --> 00:14:16.378
  • You see, it's a celebration
  • 00:14:16.979 --> 00:14:20.082
  • And it takes time.
  • 00:14:20.516 --> 00:14:22.952
  • Go on the internet
  • 00:14:22.952 --> 00:14:25.020
  • And look up something like,
  • 00:14:25.020 --> 00:14:27.723
  • The danger of poor timing.
  • 00:14:27.723 --> 00:14:31.060
  • As you know, the danger of timing.
  • 00:14:31.827 --> 00:14:34.730
  • You'd probably get references to something in space
  • 00:14:34.730 --> 00:14:38.067
  • That doesn't work and has to come together.
  • 00:14:38.067 --> 00:14:40.836
  • Hey, that's what i thought. but you get in there.
  • 00:14:40.836 --> 00:14:43.305
  • You know what?
  • 00:14:43.305 --> 00:14:43.739
  • It takes you to
  • 00:14:43.739 --> 00:14:45.841
  • A bmw.
  • 00:14:45.841 --> 00:14:48.243
  • A bmw, according
  • 00:14:48.243 --> 00:14:49.678
  • To ward's automotive magazine, which is preeminent, evidently
  • 00:14:49.678 --> 00:14:54.183
  • In the understanding of engines and magazines for 26 years.
  • 00:14:54.183 --> 00:14:58.387
  • That said, the bmw
  • 00:14:58.387 --> 00:15:01.090
  • Makes the best engine
  • 00:15:01.090 --> 00:15:03.692
  • Of any manufacturer of automobiles.
  • 00:15:03.692 --> 00:15:06.362
  • Bmw in 26 years,
  • 00:15:06.362 --> 00:15:09.365
  • Bmw engine has finished number one.
  • 00:15:09.365 --> 00:15:12.668
  • Only two years they finished number two.
  • 00:15:12.668 --> 00:15:15.070
  • It is the most delicate,
  • 00:15:15.070 --> 00:15:18.107
  • Tuned engine of anything that's made on the planet,
  • 00:15:18.107 --> 00:15:21.477
  • According to this
  • 00:15:21.477 --> 00:15:22.711
  • Automotive magazine, which is considered to be definitive.
  • 00:15:22.711 --> 00:15:26.281
  • And so you look up and you
  • 00:15:26.849 --> 00:15:28.217
  • Talk about the danger of poor timing,
  • 00:15:28.217 --> 00:15:31.220
  • And you read there about how when somebody takers
  • 00:15:31.220 --> 00:15:35.190
  • With a motor the slightest bit the engine of a bmw,
  • 00:15:35.190 --> 00:15:39.561
  • You have to go back and get the ignition adjusted
  • 00:15:39.561 --> 00:15:45.067
  • And it has to be re timed.
  • 00:15:45.634 --> 00:15:50.806
  • And if this body is the engine god has given to you
  • 00:15:51.807 --> 00:15:55.110
  • And me for sexual expression in marriage.
  • 00:15:55.110 --> 00:15:58.680
  • Timing is very important because it's more intricate
  • 00:15:58.680 --> 00:16:02.518
  • Than even a bmw engine.
  • 00:16:02.518 --> 00:16:06.288
  • What are we saying, folks?
  • 00:16:06.855 --> 00:16:09.058
  • With symbol and metaphor.
  • 00:16:09.058 --> 00:16:11.326
  • We understand a finely tuned engine.
  • 00:16:11.326 --> 00:16:14.563
  • There has to be timing there at the ignition.
  • 00:16:14.563 --> 00:16:17.199
  • And that's true in all the lovemaking
  • 00:16:17.199 --> 00:16:19.568
  • We have in a marriage relationship.
  • 00:16:19.568 --> 00:16:22.171
  • Am i going too fast for anybody
  • 00:16:22.171 --> 00:16:25.174
  • Applied to yourself?
  • 00:16:25.641 --> 00:16:27.443
  • Applied to your own life.
  • 00:16:28.010 --> 00:16:31.146
  • And so we understand
  • 00:16:31.146 --> 00:16:33.315
  • The operative word in sexual intimacy is.
  • 00:16:33.315 --> 00:16:37.886
  • And it takes time
  • 00:16:38.320 --> 00:16:39.688
  • And it takes timing
  • 00:16:39.688 --> 00:16:43.325
  • Also.
  • 00:16:43.559 --> 00:16:44.159
  • It takes something else.
  • 00:16:44.159 --> 00:16:47.162
  • Sexual intimacy requires.
  • 00:16:47.162 --> 00:16:52.401
  • Timely
  • 00:16:52.601 --> 00:16:54.803
  • Communication.
  • 00:16:54.803 --> 00:16:57.039
  • Read this book
  • 00:16:57.039 --> 00:16:58.941
  • And you'll see that solomon
  • 00:16:58.941 --> 00:17:01.977
  • And the shooter. mike.
  • 00:17:02.444 --> 00:17:03.345
  • They talked all the time.
  • 00:17:03.345 --> 00:17:05.280
  • It's just full of talking and conversation.
  • 00:17:05.280 --> 00:17:07.649
  • They talk, they talk, they talk.
  • 00:17:07.649 --> 00:17:10.052
  • When they were making love.
  • 00:17:10.052 --> 00:17:11.153
  • Before they made love. while they made love.
  • 00:17:11.153 --> 00:17:13.155
  • Read it all in between.
  • 00:17:13.155 --> 00:17:14.289
  • They're talking. they're communicating.
  • 00:17:14.289 --> 00:17:16.758
  • It's important that we communicate.
  • 00:17:16.758 --> 00:17:20.762
  • That we
  • 00:17:20.996 --> 00:17:22.164
  • Do not let things build up in a marriage relationship.
  • 00:17:22.164 --> 00:17:25.400
  • And we haven't dealt with this
  • 00:17:25.400 --> 00:17:26.768
  • And we haven't dealt with this. we haven't dealt with this.
  • 00:17:26.768 --> 00:17:29.371
  • And there's a verse there in the second chapter of
  • 00:17:29.371 --> 00:17:32.574
  • Song of solomon,
  • 00:17:32.574 --> 00:17:35.010
  • Catch the
  • 00:17:35.310 --> 00:17:36.245
  • Little foxes because they spoil the vines.
  • 00:17:36.245 --> 00:17:39.882
  • Great little verse.
  • 00:17:39.882 --> 00:17:41.583
  • I thought about that term communication.
  • 00:17:41.583 --> 00:17:43.919
  • It's a little bitty irritating things.
  • 00:17:43.919 --> 00:17:47.756
  • He just keeps on criticizing.
  • 00:17:48.390 --> 00:17:50.526
  • She just keeps on harping.
  • 00:17:50.526 --> 00:17:52.461
  • She just keeps on dodging.
  • 00:17:52.461 --> 00:17:54.296
  • And the little bitty foxes.
  • 00:17:54.296 --> 00:17:57.299
  • And that day in the vineyard, the little foxes would go in
  • 00:17:57.299 --> 00:18:00.502
  • And they would go and attack the very roots
  • 00:18:00.502 --> 00:18:03.572
  • Of the vine that was to produce fruit.
  • 00:18:03.572 --> 00:18:06.742
  • They'd attack the roots,
  • 00:18:06.742 --> 00:18:07.943
  • And they know there would not be any fruit.
  • 00:18:07.943 --> 00:18:09.645
  • There would not be any production.
  • 00:18:09.645 --> 00:18:11.246
  • That's what happens, ladies and gentlemen,
  • 00:18:11.246 --> 00:18:13.448
  • In marriage, relationships and families,
  • 00:18:13.448 --> 00:18:15.884
  • When there's little beep beep, beep beep, well, no big thing.
  • 00:18:15.884 --> 00:18:19.521
  • Beep beep beep.
  • 00:18:19.521 --> 00:18:20.822
  • And suddenly the roots are attacked
  • 00:18:20.822 --> 00:18:24.092
  • And there's no joy and fruition and growth and development
  • 00:18:24.092 --> 00:18:27.896
  • In the marriage relationship.
  • 00:18:27.896 --> 00:18:29.531
  • Check those living for it takes communication.
  • 00:18:29.531 --> 00:18:33.235
  • Communication is very important.
  • 00:18:33.969 --> 00:18:37.139
  • What is communication about?
  • 00:18:37.139 --> 00:18:40.242
  • How do we communicate?
  • 00:18:40.242 --> 00:18:42.511
  • Most of us would say with words, right?
  • 00:18:42.511 --> 00:18:46.915
  • We communicate with words
  • 00:18:46.915 --> 00:18:49.218
  • Not really.
  • 00:18:49.218 --> 00:18:51.186
  • Only 7%
  • 00:18:51.186 --> 00:18:54.189
  • Of communication
  • 00:18:54.590 --> 00:18:56.725
  • Has to do with words.
  • 00:18:56.725 --> 00:18:59.394
  • But when i read that and realize it was true,
  • 00:18:59.394 --> 00:19:02.397
  • I said, you know, i spent a lot of time with words.
  • 00:19:02.397 --> 00:19:05.767
  • I'm a semi wordsmith.
  • 00:19:06.268 --> 00:19:08.971
  • Every week i write out a manuscript
  • 00:19:08.971 --> 00:19:12.541
  • 3252 pages.
  • 00:19:12.541 --> 00:19:15.010
  • You hope it will be 32.
  • 00:19:15.010 --> 00:19:17.980
  • Is it possible to preach a bad short sermon?
  • 00:19:17.980 --> 00:19:21.650
  • People keep reminding me,
  • 00:19:21.650 --> 00:19:24.386
  • But i work at words i do not memorize particularly.
  • 00:19:24.386 --> 00:19:28.290
  • It's just the overflow of what i've gotten and what i wear.
  • 00:19:28.290 --> 00:19:31.493
  • Every thursday i write out a manuscript.
  • 00:19:31.493 --> 00:19:34.796
  • What do i do? words.
  • 00:19:35.264 --> 00:19:36.231
  • But words are not big.
  • 00:19:36.231 --> 00:19:38.400
  • Only 7% of when we communicate, one of the
  • 00:19:38.400 --> 00:19:41.403
  • Has to do with words.
  • 00:19:41.403 --> 00:19:42.971
  • Oh, well, that's kind of strange.
  • 00:19:43.705 --> 00:19:46.608
  • Kind of strange. 38%
  • 00:19:46.608 --> 00:19:50.479
  • Had to do with tone of voice,
  • 00:19:51.113 --> 00:19:54.182
  • Words.
  • 00:19:54.383 --> 00:19:56.251
  • Well, there's a lot left.
  • 00:19:56.251 --> 00:19:57.419
  • What's left?
  • 00:19:57.419 --> 00:19:58.287
  • You got words and your tone of voice.
  • 00:19:58.287 --> 00:20:01.390
  • Well, there's a lot left in this communication.
  • 00:20:01.390 --> 00:20:03.792
  • Baggage.
  • 00:20:03.792 --> 00:20:05.294
  • 55% has to do
  • 00:20:05.294 --> 00:20:09.097
  • With body language and expression.
  • 00:20:09.097 --> 00:20:12.401
  • Whoa!
  • 00:20:12.634 --> 00:20:14.369
  • Have you ever thought about that?
  • 00:20:14.369 --> 00:20:17.873
  • So here we go.
  • 00:20:18.206 --> 00:20:19.308
  • And let me prove that to you right now.
  • 00:20:19.308 --> 00:20:22.611
  • Let's take the word. yes.
  • 00:20:23.178 --> 00:20:26.615
  • Why, yes.
  • 00:20:26.915 --> 00:20:29.184
  • Tone of voice. yes.
  • 00:20:29.184 --> 00:20:34.823
  • Yes. well, 38%.
  • 00:20:35.190 --> 00:20:40.329
  • What does that 55%
  • 00:20:40.762 --> 00:20:43.398
  • Expression it is?
  • 00:20:43.398 --> 00:20:45.000
  • Yeah,
  • 00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:47.235
  • I think
  • 00:20:47.235 --> 00:20:48.870
  • It is.
  • 00:20:48.870 --> 00:20:49.838
  • Yeah. yes.
  • 00:20:49.838 --> 00:20:53.075
  • The expression.
  • 00:20:53.442 --> 00:20:54.810
  • Smile.
  • 00:20:54.810 --> 00:20:56.011
  • That is the 55% of
  • 00:20:56.011 --> 00:20:58.814
  • When we try to communicate with one another.
  • 00:20:58.814 --> 00:21:02.384
  • All right.
  • 00:21:02.684 --> 00:21:03.852
  • Let's just show how many steps involved in communication.
  • 00:21:03.852 --> 00:21:06.254
  • Here's a husband wants to meet his wife.
  • 00:21:07.089 --> 00:21:09.458
  • This is what he wants to say to his wife.
  • 00:21:09.458 --> 00:21:13.061
  • He thinks about what he wants to say. okay?
  • 00:21:13.061 --> 00:21:16.631
  • Thinks about.
  • 00:21:16.998 --> 00:21:17.866
  • And then he expresses that to his wife,
  • 00:21:17.866 --> 00:21:20.702
  • What he wants to say, which is something different
  • 00:21:20.702 --> 00:21:23.638
  • Than he thought about saying right
  • 00:21:23.638 --> 00:21:26.475
  • Then his wife.
  • 00:21:26.808 --> 00:21:27.609
  • Here's what he says.
  • 00:21:27.609 --> 00:21:30.011
  • Then his wife takes what he has said
  • 00:21:30.011 --> 00:21:32.781
  • And applies it to her.
  • 00:21:32.781 --> 00:21:35.317
  • And then he she thinks about what
  • 00:21:35.317 --> 00:21:37.185
  • She wants to say back to her husband.
  • 00:21:37.185 --> 00:21:39.388
  • Okay.
  • 00:21:39.388 --> 00:21:40.889
  • And she states it and he hears it.
  • 00:21:40.889 --> 00:21:43.959
  • And he applies that to himself.
  • 00:21:44.593 --> 00:21:48.363
  • And then he thinks about what he wants to say back to her.
  • 00:21:48.363 --> 00:21:51.433
  • Ladies and gentlemen, there are eight steps in
  • 00:21:51.433 --> 00:21:54.836
  • Just a pan of communication between a husband and wife.
  • 00:21:54.836 --> 00:21:58.740
  • You got it.
  • 00:21:58.740 --> 00:22:00.142
  • And in any of those steps,
  • 00:22:00.142 --> 00:22:02.210
  • There can be all kinds of confusion.
  • 00:22:02.210 --> 00:22:06.181
  • With words.
  • 00:22:06.515 --> 00:22:07.582
  • A little bit.
  • 00:22:07.582 --> 00:22:09.651
  • Tone of voice. bigger
  • 00:22:09.651 --> 00:22:11.920
  • Body language,
  • 00:22:12.254 --> 00:22:15.390
  • Body language. 55%.
  • 00:22:15.390 --> 00:22:20.429
  • We need to learn how to communicate.
  • 00:22:21.229 --> 00:22:23.598
  • And don't let those little foxes spoil the vine.
  • 00:22:23.598 --> 00:22:26.535
  • If there's going to be sexual intimacy.
  • 00:22:26.535 --> 00:22:29.905
  • Communication.
  • 00:22:30.238 --> 00:22:33.241
  • And then not only
  • 00:22:33.241 --> 00:22:36.344
  • Sexual intimacy.
  • 00:22:36.745 --> 00:22:38.180
  • The operative word is.
  • 00:22:38.180 --> 00:22:40.949
  • And then there takes sexual involved name.
  • 00:22:40.949 --> 00:22:43.618
  • Timely.
  • 00:22:43.618 --> 00:22:45.120
  • And there's sexual energy involved.
  • 00:22:45.120 --> 00:22:47.489
  • Timely communication.
  • 00:22:47.489 --> 00:22:51.226
  • And then finally, it takes
  • 00:22:51.793 --> 00:22:54.262
  • Time away.
  • 00:22:54.262 --> 00:22:57.199
  • Yeah.
  • 00:22:57.199 --> 00:22:58.834
  • Cut out everything else.
  • 00:22:58.834 --> 00:23:00.669
  • Shut off computers and phones and activities
  • 00:23:00.669 --> 00:23:04.039
  • And times away with a husband and a wife.
  • 00:23:04.039 --> 00:23:06.708
  • Doesn't matter where you go, how you go.
  • 00:23:06.708 --> 00:23:08.610
  • Shut the door.
  • 00:23:08.610 --> 00:23:09.344
  • Get away!
  • 00:23:09.344 --> 00:23:10.378
  • Time away.
  • 00:23:10.378 --> 00:23:13.148
  • We're talking about sexual intimacy.
  • 00:23:13.148 --> 00:23:15.450
  • We're talking about a relationship
  • 00:23:15.450 --> 00:23:17.118
  • That is growing and developing sweeter and better.
  • 00:23:17.118 --> 00:23:20.555
  • Year by year.
  • 00:23:20.555 --> 00:23:21.790
  • By year by year.
  • 00:23:21.790 --> 00:23:24.826
  • Thrilling thing.
  • 00:23:24.826 --> 00:23:25.560
  • Don't miss on that.
  • 00:23:25.560 --> 00:23:27.295
  • It's exceedingly important.
  • 00:23:27.896 --> 00:23:29.731
  • All of this.
  • 00:23:29.731 --> 00:23:31.199
  • And having a marriage that solomon would say
  • 00:23:31.199 --> 00:23:34.703
  • Saves, having a great marriage.
  • 00:23:34.703 --> 00:23:38.974
  • Let's just say,
  • 00:23:39.341 --> 00:23:41.376
  • And i could illustrate this, but i'll not
  • 00:23:41.376 --> 00:23:44.546
  • That you were invited to go to a meeting of the top,
  • 00:23:44.546 --> 00:23:49.017
  • Wealthiest, most successful executives
  • 00:23:49.017 --> 00:23:52.287
  • In america
  • 00:23:52.587 --> 00:23:54.923
  • Today.
  • 00:23:54.923 --> 00:23:55.924
  • There were about 12 people there, and all 12
  • 00:23:55.924 --> 00:23:57.859
  • People were asked to
  • 00:23:57.859 --> 00:24:00.595
  • Tell the group
  • 00:24:00.595 --> 00:24:03.465
  • Their secret of success
  • 00:24:03.465 --> 00:24:05.767
  • And what they've done.
  • 00:24:05.767 --> 00:24:07.836
  • One guy stands up.
  • 00:24:07.836 --> 00:24:08.970
  • He said, well, you know, for i was 21 years old.
  • 00:24:08.970 --> 00:24:12.007
  • I came from nothing, but i made my first million dollars
  • 00:24:12.007 --> 00:24:15.977
  • And now i'm ceo of a company and it's worth it.
  • 00:24:15.977 --> 00:24:18.780
  • This guy stands up, said, well,
  • 00:24:18.780 --> 00:24:20.849
  • I went to school, you know, i got a ph.d.
  • 00:24:20.849 --> 00:24:23.885
  • And i went out and and i made this contribution.
  • 00:24:23.885 --> 00:24:26.488
  • I won a nobel prize.
  • 00:24:26.488 --> 00:24:28.924
  • And they give all their students success.
  • 00:24:28.924 --> 00:24:31.026
  • And this average guy in their
  • 00:24:31.026 --> 00:24:33.862
  • He said, what am i going to say?
  • 00:24:34.563 --> 00:24:37.165
  • I'm just average.
  • 00:24:37.165 --> 00:24:40.302
  • And he said to those other men.
  • 00:24:40.302 --> 00:24:44.940
  • He said, you know,
  • 00:24:45.373 --> 00:24:48.076
  • I've been married to a great gal for
  • 00:24:48.076 --> 00:24:51.379
  • 32 years.
  • 00:24:51.680 --> 00:24:54.015
  • We have four super children,
  • 00:24:54.015 --> 00:24:56.818
  • Three girls and a boy, and
  • 00:24:57.385 --> 00:25:00.689
  • I love my wife today, now more than i did, we got married.
  • 00:25:00.689 --> 00:25:03.825
  • Our children,
  • 00:25:03.825 --> 00:25:05.226
  • All but one are married and they have children
  • 00:25:05.226 --> 00:25:07.529
  • And they love the lord jesus christ.
  • 00:25:07.529 --> 00:25:09.798
  • And they're faithful
  • 00:25:09.798 --> 00:25:11.066
  • And their lives are full of glory and honor of god.
  • 00:25:11.066 --> 00:25:14.402
  • He said, that's my success.
  • 00:25:14.402 --> 00:25:20.408
  • Everybody wants a happy home.
  • 00:25:21.042 --> 00:25:24.045
  • But let's be honest.
  • 00:25:24.045 --> 00:25:25.547
  • A happy home doesn't just happen.
  • 00:25:25.547 --> 00:25:28.450
  • It's built.
  • 00:25:28.450 --> 00:25:29.718
  • It's shaped.
  • 00:25:29.718 --> 00:25:31.152
  • Day by day by day.
  • 00:25:31.152 --> 00:25:33.288
  • That's why i want to encourage you to read
  • 00:25:33.288 --> 00:25:35.857
  • This little booklet, cardinal rules for a happy home.
  • 00:25:35.857 --> 00:25:39.094
  • This 90 day devotional is from
  • 00:25:39.094 --> 00:25:41.596
  • Decades of real life pastoring,
  • 00:25:41.596 --> 00:25:44.866
  • Counseling, and building my own home and family.
  • 00:25:44.866 --> 00:25:48.236
  • In the page of this
  • 00:25:48.703 --> 00:25:49.704
  • Book each day you will find a simple rhythm
  • 00:25:49.704 --> 00:25:53.041
  • As of scripture,
  • 00:25:53.441 --> 00:25:55.276
  • Practical, down to earth navigation,
  • 00:25:55.276 --> 00:25:58.213
  • And a guided prayer to help you bring it all home.
  • 00:25:58.213 --> 00:26:02.717
  • We're not talking about something complicated here.
  • 00:26:02.717 --> 00:26:05.353
  • We're talking about just 15 minutes a day.
  • 00:26:05.353 --> 00:26:08.356
  • 15 minutes.
  • 00:26:08.356 --> 00:26:10.058
  • Did you can strengthen your marriage and refocus
  • 00:26:10.058 --> 00:26:12.761
  • Your home on what matters the most in christ
  • 00:26:12.761 --> 00:26:17.165
  • Centered, foundation, practical, down to earth.
  • 00:26:17.165 --> 00:26:20.435
  • Your life.
  • 00:26:20.735 --> 00:26:21.870
  • Because when christ is at the center, guess what?
  • 00:26:21.870 --> 00:26:24.839
  • Everything else changes.
  • 00:26:24.839 --> 00:26:27.842
  • Conversations change.
  • 00:26:28.343 --> 00:26:30.211
  • Priorities change.
  • 00:26:30.211 --> 00:26:31.846
  • Hearts begin to change.
  • 00:26:31.846 --> 00:26:33.682
  • Take that first step today.
  • 00:26:33.682 --> 00:26:35.950
  • Call the number or visit the website below
  • 00:26:35.950 --> 00:26:38.286
  • And get cardinal rules for a happy home
  • 00:26:38.286 --> 00:26:41.356
  • And begin your 90 day journey
  • 00:26:41.356 --> 00:26:44.125
  • Right now.
  • 00:26:44.426 --> 00:26:49.898
  • Before we go, remember this.
  • 00:26:50.498 --> 00:26:53.034
  • A happy home begins with a heart
  • 00:26:53.034 --> 00:26:55.503
  • That's focused on the lord.
  • 00:26:55.503 --> 00:26:58.473
  • As you spend time in his word, the bible,
  • 00:26:58.473 --> 00:27:01.376
  • And apply his truth, even the simplest changes
  • 00:27:01.376 --> 00:27:05.447
  • Can lead to something beautiful.
  • 00:27:05.447 --> 00:27:07.782
  • It takes time.
  • 00:27:07.782 --> 00:27:09.384
  • But that's the way god's work.
  • 00:27:09.384 --> 00:27:11.219
  • So stay faithful to be encouraged.
  • 00:27:11.953 --> 00:27:14.956
  • And i look forward to seeing you next time
  • 00:27:14.956 --> 00:27:17.492
  • On the winning walk with the lord jesus christ.
  • 00:27:17.492 --> 00:27:17.492