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The Winning Walk with Dr. Ed Young

Ed Young - Before You Say I Do

June 9, 2026 | 27:29

Ed Young - Before You Say I Do
The Winning Walk with Dr. Ed Young is the international on-air and online teaching ministry of Dr. Ed Young. The Winning Walk proclaims the proven truth of God’s Word to give men and women the world over a winning way to live life.
#Husband #Wife #Marriage #Relationships #Single #God'sWill #Plan #WalkwithGod #Dating #Love #Compassion #Kindness #Heart #Communication #Wordswespeak #EdYoung

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The Winning Walk with Dr. Ed Young | Ed Young - Before You Say I Do | June 9, 2026
  • I've seen a
  • 00:00:01.191 --> 00:00:02.225
  • Lot of people say, you know, i married him and i.
  • 00:00:02.225 --> 00:00:05.328
  • I met him in church and he said he was a christian.
  • 00:00:05.328 --> 00:00:08.865
  • I've got a flash report for everybody.
  • 00:00:08.865 --> 00:00:12.335
  • Those of us who in church, some who say they're christians,
  • 00:00:12.335 --> 00:00:17.073
  • They have come to the hospital, but they have not yet
  • 00:00:17.073 --> 00:00:20.543
  • Responded to treatment.
  • 00:00:20.543 --> 00:00:25.782
  • So i've had many perks.
  • 00:00:26.282 --> 00:00:28.151
  • Well, pastor, i met her in church.
  • 00:00:28.151 --> 00:00:31.254
  • Well, hello.
  • 00:00:31.254 --> 00:00:51.374
  • Chameleons
  • 00:00:51.674 --> 00:00:53.476
  • Are of the lizard family.
  • 00:00:53.476 --> 00:00:57.147
  • There are over 7000 different species of lizards,
  • 00:00:57.147 --> 00:01:01.184
  • And comedians are called old world lizards.
  • 00:01:01.184 --> 00:01:06.990
  • There's about 200 that will be in that category.
  • 00:01:06.990 --> 00:01:10.994
  • Chameleons have unusual capacity.
  • 00:01:11.694 --> 00:01:16.566
  • Their skin is transparent.
  • 00:01:17.133 --> 00:01:20.336
  • The pigment under their skin, as you may
  • 00:01:20.336 --> 00:01:23.072
  • Know, can change colors.
  • 00:01:23.072 --> 00:01:25.808
  • It is used for camouflage.
  • 00:01:25.808 --> 00:01:29.345
  • It is
  • 00:01:29.579 --> 00:01:30.613
  • Used also for communication,
  • 00:01:30.613 --> 00:01:34.217
  • But it's also used in attracting the opposite sex.
  • 00:01:34.217 --> 00:01:38.321
  • And they can become many different colors.
  • 00:01:39.189 --> 00:01:42.659
  • And they try
  • 00:01:42.992 --> 00:01:44.060
  • To figure out the color in which the opposite sex
  • 00:01:44.060 --> 00:01:46.596
  • Would come and be drawn to them.
  • 00:01:46.596 --> 00:01:50.366
  • Does that have any human
  • 00:01:50.900 --> 00:01:52.669
  • Practical experience?
  • 00:01:52.669 --> 00:01:56.239
  • Yeah, so many people
  • 00:01:56.706 --> 00:01:59.509
  • Got married to a chameleon.
  • 00:02:00.109 --> 00:02:04.214
  • What you thought you got
  • 00:02:04.747 --> 00:02:07.383
  • Becomes something entirely different.
  • 00:02:07.383 --> 00:02:10.220
  • And you ask what happened?
  • 00:02:10.787 --> 00:02:14.624
  • Marriage in
  • 00:02:14.958 --> 00:02:16.392
  • America is big business.
  • 00:02:16.392 --> 00:02:19.796
  • It's a bigger business
  • 00:02:19.796 --> 00:02:21.431
  • Than i would guess, unless you've researched it.
  • 00:02:21.431 --> 00:02:24.200
  • Anybody here would even begin to comprehend.
  • 00:02:24.200 --> 00:02:28.238
  • Marriage is a gigantic business,
  • 00:02:28.938 --> 00:02:33.776
  • But really, the bigger business
  • 00:02:34.410 --> 00:02:38.414
  • Is weddings.
  • 00:02:38.748 --> 00:02:41.417
  • Yeah, weddings.
  • 00:02:41.417 --> 00:02:43.620
  • That's where the money is spent.
  • 00:02:43.620 --> 00:02:46.189
  • That's where the energy goes out.
  • 00:02:46.189 --> 00:02:48.458
  • It is in weddings that usually over 100 hours
  • 00:02:48.458 --> 00:02:52.862
  • Is given to a wedding that asks maybe for an hour
  • 00:02:52.862 --> 00:02:56.766
  • And expense.
  • 00:02:57.100 --> 00:02:59.736
  • Oh, it can go astronomically high.
  • 00:02:59.736 --> 00:03:04.073
  • And so
  • 00:03:04.274 --> 00:03:05.475
  • We are in the wedding business,
  • 00:03:05.475 --> 00:03:09.445
  • And it is a big business.
  • 00:03:10.013 --> 00:03:13.449
  • But a bigger business is marriage.
  • 00:03:13.449 --> 00:03:17.954
  • And the strange thing is, we spend
  • 00:03:17.954 --> 00:03:20.790
  • More time preparing for wedding.
  • 00:03:20.790 --> 00:03:23.660
  • We get more passionate about it.
  • 00:03:23.660 --> 00:03:25.928
  • We spend more money in energy and counseling
  • 00:03:25.928 --> 00:03:28.531
  • And have so many conflicts.
  • 00:03:28.531 --> 00:03:30.400
  • I have dealt with many and upset father,
  • 00:03:30.400 --> 00:03:33.269
  • Many a passionate mother, many are frustrated bride
  • 00:03:33.269 --> 00:03:36.873
  • And the groom who didn't know what in the world he was doing.
  • 00:03:36.873 --> 00:03:41.077
  • I know about weddings
  • 00:03:41.577 --> 00:03:45.848
  • And it's good to make
  • 00:03:45.848 --> 00:03:49.152
  • A wedding
  • 00:03:49.152 --> 00:03:50.320
  • Significant and important, but if we spend as much time
  • 00:03:50.320 --> 00:03:54.090
  • In marriage and marriage preparation as we do weddings,
  • 00:03:54.090 --> 00:03:59.629
  • We'd be a whole lot better off.
  • 00:03:59.629 --> 00:04:05.635
  • Do you have any idea the cost of weddings
  • 00:04:05.635 --> 00:04:08.838
  • In the united states of america?
  • 00:04:08.838 --> 00:04:11.441
  • I dare say if i were a gambling man,
  • 00:04:12.208 --> 00:04:15.311
  • There would be 1 in 1000 who would know the cost.
  • 00:04:15.311 --> 00:04:18.948
  • The business of weddings,
  • 00:04:18.948 --> 00:04:22.418
  • $58 billion are spent on weddings
  • 00:04:22.418 --> 00:04:26.989
  • Every year in the united states of america,
  • 00:04:26.989 --> 00:04:30.293
  • 43 billion
  • 00:04:30.593 --> 00:04:32.195
  • Is spent on bridal grounds.
  • 00:04:32.195 --> 00:04:35.465
  • Check me out in america.
  • 00:04:35.465 --> 00:04:38.301
  • In other words, the wedding business in america
  • 00:04:38.301 --> 00:04:40.970
  • Is about $100 billion,
  • 00:04:40.970 --> 00:04:44.974
  • Which is the same or more than
  • 00:04:44.974 --> 00:04:48.578
  • General electric.
  • 00:04:49.011 --> 00:04:51.581
  • And a lot of corporations that we know
  • 00:04:51.581 --> 00:04:55.251
  • And interesting enough.
  • 00:04:55.752 --> 00:04:57.353
  • The bureau of labor statistics recently released figures
  • 00:04:57.353 --> 00:05:02.091
  • Anticipating the jobs that will be available
  • 00:05:02.091 --> 00:05:07.029
  • In the next 5 to 10 years, and those
  • 00:05:07.029 --> 00:05:10.099
  • That would need people to fill those positions.
  • 00:05:10.099 --> 00:05:13.369
  • Did you know that wedding counselors
  • 00:05:13.369 --> 00:05:16.706
  • And wedding leaders and those who deal in family
  • 00:05:16.706 --> 00:05:20.676
  • Life, that is a vocation
  • 00:05:20.676 --> 00:05:23.746
  • That will be 15%.
  • 00:05:23.746 --> 00:05:26.582
  • Listen me higher in need of people
  • 00:05:26.582 --> 00:05:30.887
  • Than the average of
  • 00:05:31.354 --> 00:05:32.655
  • All other vocations in the united states.
  • 00:05:32.655 --> 00:05:36.259
  • Had to think about that one.
  • 00:05:36.259 --> 00:05:39.028
  • In other words,
  • 00:05:39.028 --> 00:05:40.163
  • In the immediate future, we're going to need the way
  • 00:05:40.163 --> 00:05:43.533
  • Marriage and weddings and family is going.
  • 00:05:43.533 --> 00:05:47.103
  • An avalanche of more people ready to counsel
  • 00:05:47.103 --> 00:05:50.440
  • And try to heal marriages and families
  • 00:05:50.440 --> 00:05:54.010
  • Want a job opportunity.
  • 00:05:54.510 --> 00:05:57.380
  • There it is.
  • 00:05:57.713 --> 00:06:00.183
  • And artificial intelligence
  • 00:06:00.183 --> 00:06:02.218
  • Will not take it away from you.
  • 00:06:02.218 --> 00:06:06.022
  • So here we are
  • 00:06:06.355 --> 00:06:08.991
  • In a culture of singleness.
  • 00:06:08.991 --> 00:06:12.094
  • Remember now 51% of the population, adult population.
  • 00:06:12.094 --> 00:06:16.332
  • American day is single.
  • 00:06:16.332 --> 00:06:17.600
  • Did you get that? bang?
  • 00:06:17.600 --> 00:06:19.368
  • 51% of the population of america today is single.
  • 00:06:19.368 --> 00:06:24.340
  • Some have never married.
  • 00:06:24.874 --> 00:06:27.310
  • Some have married and lost a mate.
  • 00:06:27.310 --> 00:06:30.413
  • Some have now single because of divorce.
  • 00:06:30.413 --> 00:06:34.150
  • And now they're out there.
  • 00:06:34.717 --> 00:06:36.586
  • Supposedly marriage potential.
  • 00:06:36.586 --> 00:06:40.456
  • Let me say an aside to all of
  • 00:06:41.090 --> 00:06:43.359
  • You would be matchmakers, and i've been in that category
  • 00:06:43.359 --> 00:06:47.230
  • So many times you see a single.
  • 00:06:47.864 --> 00:06:50.399
  • Well, why aren't you married?
  • 00:06:50.399 --> 00:06:57.974
  • You are stupid, insensitive
  • 00:06:58.574 --> 00:07:01.511
  • And insane to ask that question.
  • 00:07:01.511 --> 00:07:05.047
  • If there were not single people in this church,
  • 00:07:05.047 --> 00:07:09.252
  • Staff members of this church, we'd have to close the doors.
  • 00:07:09.252 --> 00:07:12.588
  • Ladies and gentlemen, we could not operate.
  • 00:07:12.588 --> 00:07:15.825
  • Thank god for singles who work and pray
  • 00:07:15.825 --> 00:07:19.829
  • And lead and serve in a multiplicity of areas.
  • 00:07:19.829 --> 00:07:23.699
  • They could not do it if they were married.
  • 00:07:23.699 --> 00:07:26.168
  • Paul figured it out.
  • 00:07:26.168 --> 00:07:27.470
  • Read it. paul.
  • 00:07:27.470 --> 00:07:30.039
  • By the way, jesus was not married.
  • 00:07:30.039 --> 00:07:32.341
  • I guess there's nothing wrong with him.
  • 00:07:32.341 --> 00:07:35.311
  • And so many times they we say to people not married.
  • 00:07:35.311 --> 00:07:39.215
  • Some of those who are dull between the ears.
  • 00:07:39.215 --> 00:07:42.552
  • You're too picky.
  • 00:07:42.552 --> 00:07:45.288
  • Let me say something to singles.
  • 00:07:45.988 --> 00:07:48.157
  • Stay picky.
  • 00:07:48.157 --> 00:07:50.459
  • Don't settle.
  • 00:07:50.459 --> 00:07:52.228
  • Don't get desperate.
  • 00:07:52.228 --> 00:07:53.930
  • God will plan for you.
  • 00:07:53.930 --> 00:07:55.798
  • Someone stay picky.
  • 00:07:55.798 --> 00:07:58.568
  • And by the way, you say this doesn't apply to me.
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  • I'm married.
  • 00:08:03.472 --> 00:08:04.307
  • All of this applies to all of us
  • 00:08:04.307 --> 00:08:07.243
  • Because we have friends
  • 00:08:07.743 --> 00:08:09.512
  • And family and all sorts of influence.
  • 00:08:09.512 --> 00:08:13.215
  • We need to be up to speed and god's understanding
  • 00:08:13.215 --> 00:08:16.018
  • Of singleness and god's understanding of marriage.
  • 00:08:16.018 --> 00:08:19.188
  • It's basic in the christian life.
  • 00:08:19.889 --> 00:08:23.025
  • And so stay picky.
  • 00:08:23.459 --> 00:08:25.528
  • If you're single, others say,
  • 00:08:25.528 --> 00:08:28.397
  • Well, i don't dated him or her because they're so
  • 00:08:28.397 --> 00:08:31.968
  • Intimidating.
  • 00:08:31.968 --> 00:08:33.970
  • You know why people are intimidated
  • 00:08:33.970 --> 00:08:35.771
  • With people they look at and they're worried about?
  • 00:08:35.771 --> 00:08:38.040
  • Dating a marriage is because you do.
  • 00:08:38.040 --> 00:08:39.809
  • They're such born again christians, and their walk
  • 00:08:39.809 --> 00:08:42.912
  • With the lord jesus christ intimidates those
  • 00:08:42.912 --> 00:08:45.848
  • Who cheat to come in and be a chameleon in a relationship.
  • 00:08:45.848 --> 00:08:51.153
  • 2 or 3 are getting it.
  • 00:08:51.621 --> 00:08:52.855
  • That's all i need.
  • 00:08:52.855 --> 00:08:55.958
  • So there are a lot of chameleons out there
  • 00:08:55.958 --> 00:08:59.695
  • Dating and god help you
  • 00:08:59.695 --> 00:09:02.832
  • If you end up marrying a comedian.
  • 00:09:03.599 --> 00:09:06.469
  • This is what i married.
  • 00:09:06.469 --> 00:09:08.638
  • This is not who this man who this girl was.
  • 00:09:08.638 --> 00:09:11.774
  • We were dating.
  • 00:09:11.774 --> 00:09:13.576
  • So we need to drop back a little bit and ask
  • 00:09:13.576 --> 00:09:16.345
  • Two basic fundamental questions.
  • 00:09:16.345 --> 00:09:19.181
  • Two basic questions.
  • 00:09:19.181 --> 00:09:22.918
  • What do i do before i say i do?
  • 00:09:23.552 --> 00:09:27.390
  • And what do i do
  • 00:09:27.790 --> 00:09:29.558
  • After i say i do?
  • 00:09:29.558 --> 00:09:32.328
  • And let me say, for the uninitiated here,
  • 00:09:32.328 --> 00:09:35.331
  • I will not be exhaustive in what i'm saying.
  • 00:09:35.331 --> 00:09:39.669
  • Well, you left out.
  • 00:09:39.669 --> 00:09:40.770
  • You didn't mention dick tracy awakened.
  • 00:09:40.770 --> 00:09:43.873
  • How long you want to be here?
  • 00:09:43.873 --> 00:09:46.676
  • We've got other teaching sundays coming up.
  • 00:09:46.676 --> 00:09:50.212
  • So let's talk about, generally speaking,
  • 00:09:50.212 --> 00:09:54.183
  • Before you say i do,
  • 00:09:54.183 --> 00:09:58.587
  • Before you say i do in the
  • 00:09:59.155 --> 00:10:03.159
  • Choosing, the maybe sadly,
  • 00:10:03.159 --> 00:10:05.928
  • The chameleon period for some.
  • 00:10:05.928 --> 00:10:08.798
  • First of all, take time.
  • 00:10:08.798 --> 00:10:10.433
  • Don't stay there forever.
  • 00:10:10.433 --> 00:10:12.535
  • You can know after a couple of dates, usually maybe three,
  • 00:10:12.535 --> 00:10:16.405
  • If this person in any way,
  • 00:10:16.405 --> 00:10:18.574
  • Shape or form or fashion could ever be my wife or my husband.
  • 00:10:18.574 --> 00:10:21.544
  • You don't have to be there forever.
  • 00:10:21.544 --> 00:10:23.579
  • By the same token, you don't rush into it and say,
  • 00:10:23.579 --> 00:10:26.048
  • Oh, we gotta get married now i'm just swept away.
  • 00:10:26.048 --> 00:10:29.618
  • Usually that is physical and sexual.
  • 00:10:29.618 --> 00:10:32.188
  • It's not sane and honest.
  • 00:10:32.188 --> 00:10:34.223
  • Okay. now sometime.
  • 00:10:34.223 --> 00:10:36.158
  • Well, i saw him i that happens, but it is rare
  • 00:10:36.158 --> 00:10:40.663
  • As hen's teeth and hens do not have teeth.
  • 00:10:40.663 --> 00:10:43.999
  • I think
  • 00:10:43.999 --> 00:10:46.135
  • So, before you say i do.
  • 00:10:46.135 --> 00:10:51.340
  • What goes into that?
  • 00:10:51.807 --> 00:10:53.676
  • First of all,
  • 00:10:53.676 --> 00:10:55.277
  • That person must
  • 00:10:55.678 --> 00:10:57.279
  • Be a genuine christian.
  • 00:10:57.279 --> 00:11:01.117
  • I've seen a lot of people say, you know, i married him and i.
  • 00:11:01.117 --> 00:11:05.254
  • I met him in church and he said he was a christian.
  • 00:11:05.254 --> 00:11:08.791
  • I've got a flash report for everybody.
  • 00:11:08.791 --> 00:11:12.261
  • Those of us who in church, some who say they're christians,
  • 00:11:12.261 --> 00:11:16.999
  • They have come to the hospital, but they have not yet
  • 00:11:16.999 --> 00:11:20.469
  • Responded to treatment.
  • 00:11:20.469 --> 00:11:25.708
  • So i've had many perks.
  • 00:11:26.208 --> 00:11:28.077
  • Well, pastor, i met her in church.
  • 00:11:28.077 --> 00:11:31.180
  • Well, hello.
  • 00:11:31.180 --> 00:11:34.383
  • But first of all, you've got to make sure they know christ.
  • 00:11:35.518 --> 00:11:39.288
  • They walk with christ.
  • 00:11:39.288 --> 00:11:40.422
  • That's the bottom line of their life.
  • 00:11:40.422 --> 00:11:42.458
  • That is a basic, fundamental first reference
  • 00:11:42.458 --> 00:11:46.328
  • As far as getting married.
  • 00:11:46.328 --> 00:11:48.130
  • Before you say i do,
  • 00:11:48.130 --> 00:11:50.866
  • That is fundamental.
  • 00:11:51.333 --> 00:11:53.369
  • And then number two, there has to be chemistry.
  • 00:11:53.369 --> 00:11:56.438
  • Now chemistry, we think is whoa.
  • 00:11:57.139 --> 00:11:59.942
  • It's all in the central sexual area.
  • 00:11:59.942 --> 00:12:02.211
  • But i'm talking about chemistry in the unseen area.
  • 00:12:02.211 --> 00:12:06.849
  • There's some interest you had together.
  • 00:12:06.849 --> 00:12:09.852
  • There's some areas you can enjoy together.
  • 00:12:09.852 --> 00:12:13.055
  • Not always.
  • 00:12:13.055 --> 00:12:14.056
  • Not everything, but that's the other side.
  • 00:12:14.056 --> 00:12:16.559
  • Chemistry has the outward side, and it has the inward side.
  • 00:12:16.559 --> 00:12:19.995
  • They're not a christian. there's no chemistry.
  • 00:12:19.995 --> 00:12:21.997
  • Hey, this is a red light going off on your dashboard.
  • 00:12:21.997 --> 00:12:26.435
  • It's red light going off your dashboard.
  • 00:12:26.435 --> 00:12:29.338
  • And not only that,
  • 00:12:29.772 --> 00:12:31.740
  • You must marry somebody who is compassionate.
  • 00:12:31.740 --> 00:12:36.979
  • Being married to
  • 00:12:37.379 --> 00:12:38.214
  • Somebody is not compassionate.
  • 00:12:38.214 --> 00:12:41.016
  • You want
  • 00:12:41.016 --> 00:12:42.218
  • That made to be the father or the mother of your children,
  • 00:12:42.218 --> 00:12:44.520
  • Somebody that you had to live with in sickness as in health
  • 00:12:44.520 --> 00:12:48.357
  • And poverty as what?
  • 00:12:48.357 --> 00:12:49.425
  • And they're not compassionate and incompatible.
  • 00:12:49.425 --> 00:12:52.928
  • What's the definition of compassionate?
  • 00:12:52.928 --> 00:12:55.264
  • You find the book of ephesians, i think, be
  • 00:12:55.264 --> 00:12:59.168
  • Kind and kind.
  • 00:12:59.168 --> 00:13:02.471
  • Kindness. oh, yes.
  • 00:13:02.471 --> 00:13:05.207
  • Be kind one another.
  • 00:13:05.674 --> 00:13:08.611
  • Tenderhearted.
  • 00:13:08.611 --> 00:13:11.847
  • Want to marry somebody who's hard hearted?
  • 00:13:10.613 --> 00:13:13.849
  • Know what a life that would be forgiving,
  • 00:13:13.849 --> 00:13:18.554
  • Forgiving one another, even if a god, for christ's
  • 00:13:18.554 --> 00:13:21.056
  • Sake, has forgiven you?
  • 00:13:21.056 --> 00:13:22.625
  • I put that as a biblical definition of compassion.
  • 00:13:22.625 --> 00:13:28.163
  • Marriage is one of god's greatest gifts.
  • 00:13:28.998 --> 00:13:31.934
  • You might say, next to the gift of our salvation, christ.
  • 00:13:31.934 --> 00:13:35.971
  • It's number one.
  • 00:13:35.971 --> 00:13:37.239
  • But let's be honest, it also brings real challenges.
  • 00:13:37.239 --> 00:13:40.976
  • Every couple of face disagreements, miscommunication
  • 00:13:40.976 --> 00:13:46.282
  • Or financial pressure, family tensions, and seasons
  • 00:13:46.282 --> 00:13:49.618
  • Of frustration in the whole area of marriage.
  • 00:13:49.618 --> 00:13:52.554
  • You know, saying that if you're married, left unchecked,
  • 00:13:52.554 --> 00:13:56.792
  • Those struggles can slowly erode into
  • 00:13:56.792 --> 00:14:00.529
  • Even a marriage that should be great.
  • 00:14:00.529 --> 00:14:02.298
  • Into a marriage, that's just okay.
  • 00:14:02.298 --> 00:14:05.000
  • But that does not have to be your story.
  • 00:14:05.000 --> 00:14:08.971
  • In the ten commandments of marriage,
  • 00:14:08.971 --> 00:14:10.773
  • I share biblical truth, practical wisdom,
  • 00:14:10.773 --> 00:14:13.709
  • And a little humor drawn from more than 50
  • 00:14:13.709 --> 00:14:17.112
  • Years of ministry and marriage experience.
  • 00:14:17.112 --> 00:14:20.049
  • These ten timeless principles are designed to help husbands
  • 00:14:20.049 --> 00:14:24.253
  • And wives protect what matters most and strengthen
  • 00:14:24.253 --> 00:14:28.157
  • That relationship, and build a marriage
  • 00:14:28.157 --> 00:14:30.759
  • Based on love and joy, and a lasting commitment
  • 00:14:30.759 --> 00:14:34.330
  • That's filled with laughter and pleasure and excitement.
  • 00:14:34.330 --> 00:14:39.601
  • Listen, god never intended marriage to be.
  • 00:14:39.601 --> 00:14:43.372
  • Let's just survive and hang on.
  • 00:14:43.372 --> 00:14:45.908
  • He attended it to sing and to thrive.
  • 00:14:45.908 --> 00:14:49.845
  • Listen, if you really want a healthier,
  • 00:14:49.845 --> 00:14:52.881
  • Christ centered marriage that still has warmth, passion,
  • 00:14:52.881 --> 00:14:56.685
  • And purpose, these ten commandments of marriage
  • 00:14:56.685 --> 00:15:00.155
  • Is just for you.
  • 00:15:00.155 --> 00:15:01.957
  • Call them on your screen or visit the website below
  • 00:15:01.957 --> 00:15:04.660
  • To regress your copy of the ten commandments of marriage.
  • 00:15:04.660 --> 00:15:08.998
  • Do it today.
  • 00:15:08.998 --> 00:15:19.274
  • You know, man, this
  • 00:15:19.742 --> 00:15:20.776
  • Person has characteristic i can never live with.
  • 00:15:20.776 --> 00:15:24.680
  • This person does
  • 00:15:25.080 --> 00:15:26.215
  • Not have some characteristics that i would require.
  • 00:15:26.215 --> 00:15:29.718
  • Hopefully in a marriage, if this doesn't work,
  • 00:15:29.718 --> 00:15:33.722
  • That's the time to punt.
  • 00:15:33.722 --> 00:15:37.292
  • Don't drag it out.
  • 00:15:37.726 --> 00:15:39.161
  • Don't play games.
  • 00:15:39.161 --> 00:15:40.662
  • Well, i don't want to hurt him.
  • 00:15:40.662 --> 00:15:42.031
  • I don't hurt it. do it early.
  • 00:15:42.031 --> 00:15:43.665
  • It gets more painful later on and it really gets painful
  • 00:15:43.665 --> 00:15:47.202
  • If you're married because, well,
  • 00:15:47.202 --> 00:15:48.570
  • I think it's his time to get married.
  • 00:15:48.570 --> 00:15:50.239
  • You got it.
  • 00:15:50.239 --> 00:15:53.142
  • Teach it.
  • 00:15:53.142 --> 00:15:53.809
  • Share it.
  • 00:15:53.809 --> 00:15:54.843
  • Children. family. friends.
  • 00:15:54.843 --> 00:15:57.613
  • It applies to many of here who are single today.
  • 00:15:57.613 --> 00:16:02.151
  • And it doesn't change because you've been married
  • 00:16:02.151 --> 00:16:04.820
  • And you're single.
  • 00:16:04.820 --> 00:16:05.854
  • The same biblical principles are in operation,
  • 00:16:05.854 --> 00:16:09.591
  • And so
  • 00:16:09.792 --> 00:16:11.660
  • It is so important.
  • 00:16:11.660 --> 00:16:13.128
  • Before you say i do,
  • 00:16:13.128 --> 00:16:16.565
  • Christian
  • 00:16:16.865 --> 00:16:19.168
  • Chemistry,
  • 00:16:19.168 --> 00:16:22.237
  • Somebody who's compassionate,
  • 00:16:22.237 --> 00:16:24.807
  • Now you have a basic framework
  • 00:16:24.807 --> 00:16:27.810
  • And you can get into
  • 00:16:27.810 --> 00:16:29.244
  • Some of the other areas that are important things
  • 00:16:29.244 --> 00:16:32.281
  • That you need to know about that person.
  • 00:16:32.281 --> 00:16:36.485
  • You need to understand.
  • 00:16:36.985 --> 00:16:38.654
  • All right.
  • 00:16:38.654 --> 00:16:40.222
  • What about after you say i do?
  • 00:16:40.222 --> 00:16:43.358
  • What are you to know?
  • 00:16:43.859 --> 00:16:45.694
  • You have said i do.
  • 00:16:45.694 --> 00:16:47.229
  • Now you're together.
  • 00:16:47.229 --> 00:16:48.630
  • What needs to take place?
  • 00:16:48.630 --> 00:16:51.700
  • You need to build
  • 00:16:51.700 --> 00:16:54.103
  • A team in football,
  • 00:16:54.103 --> 00:16:57.039
  • In any athletic endeavor, in any company, any corporation.
  • 00:16:57.039 --> 00:17:01.076
  • What does it take to build a team?
  • 00:17:01.076 --> 00:17:02.778
  • It takes an architect.
  • 00:17:02.778 --> 00:17:06.215
  • Somebody who sees what
  • 00:17:06.682 --> 00:17:08.083
  • A real winning team is all about.
  • 00:17:08.083 --> 00:17:11.353
  • It takes a coach that comes in and knows
  • 00:17:12.187 --> 00:17:15.791
  • What it takes to put together a team and plays and plans.
  • 00:17:15.791 --> 00:17:21.063
  • It also takes players
  • 00:17:21.563 --> 00:17:25.033
  • And a good coach will pick players
  • 00:17:25.801 --> 00:17:28.904
  • And put them in the right place.
  • 00:17:28.904 --> 00:17:30.472
  • You can take every team is is full of 300 pound people.
  • 00:17:30.472 --> 00:17:34.977
  • Are they going to win?
  • 00:17:34.977 --> 00:17:36.778
  • Every team is full of 165 pound players.
  • 00:17:36.778 --> 00:17:40.415
  • They're going to win.
  • 00:17:40.415 --> 00:17:41.416
  • No, you've got to put them in the right place
  • 00:17:41.416 --> 00:17:43.719
  • At the right time or the right skill.
  • 00:17:43.719 --> 00:17:45.621
  • So it takes a coach.
  • 00:17:45.621 --> 00:17:46.722
  • And by the way it takes fans okay.
  • 00:17:46.722 --> 00:17:50.592
  • The architect in marriage is god.
  • 00:17:51.360 --> 00:17:54.663
  • God has given us plain, simple principles.
  • 00:17:54.663 --> 00:17:58.534
  • As i say, this is how your marriage
  • 00:17:58.534 --> 00:18:00.936
  • Will be a winning team.
  • 00:18:00.936 --> 00:18:02.437
  • It's a plan in architect.
  • 00:18:02.437 --> 00:18:03.972
  • We're going to be dealing with that in weeks to come.
  • 00:18:03.972 --> 00:18:05.707
  • Just stick around and then it takes a coach.
  • 00:18:05.707 --> 00:18:09.578
  • Who's the coach is jesus christ.
  • 00:18:09.578 --> 00:18:11.613
  • We send jesus christ in our life.
  • 00:18:11.613 --> 00:18:13.782
  • The holy spirit enables us to have discernment,
  • 00:18:13.782 --> 00:18:16.785
  • To do things, to know what to say yes to and what
  • 00:18:16.785 --> 00:18:19.721
  • To say no to.
  • 00:18:19.721 --> 00:18:22.624
  • And that coach then can come and move out.
  • 00:18:22.624 --> 00:18:26.261
  • It takes players and that's all of us.
  • 00:18:26.261 --> 00:18:28.230
  • If we're willing, if we're open,
  • 00:18:28.230 --> 00:18:30.532
  • If we're ready to change.
  • 00:18:30.532 --> 00:18:33.802
  • Did you come to church to say, i want to be entertained?
  • 00:18:33.802 --> 00:18:36.505
  • I want to be informed.
  • 00:18:36.505 --> 00:18:38.106
  • You see, in marriage, only jesus christ can come
  • 00:18:38.106 --> 00:18:42.311
  • And speak to that husband and that wife and say this.
  • 00:18:42.311 --> 00:18:46.381
  • You need to change.
  • 00:18:46.381 --> 00:18:48.884
  • Why do we go to church?
  • 00:18:48.884 --> 00:18:49.985
  • To worship, to praise?
  • 00:18:49.985 --> 00:18:51.386
  • We go to church also to be biblically informed.
  • 00:18:51.386 --> 00:18:53.956
  • And hopefully we'll take biblical truth
  • 00:18:53.956 --> 00:18:56.592
  • And let it permeate your life and my life, and there will
  • 00:18:56.592 --> 00:19:00.629
  • Be change.
  • 00:19:00.629 --> 00:19:02.364
  • So what
  • 00:19:02.598 --> 00:19:03.432
  • Does it take to have a winning team?
  • 00:19:03.432 --> 00:19:06.101
  • It takes the architect, that's god.
  • 00:19:06.101 --> 00:19:08.003
  • He tells us how marriage should work.
  • 00:19:08.003 --> 00:19:10.939
  • It takes jesus christ.
  • 00:19:10.939 --> 00:19:12.274
  • He's our coach, and it takes players that you and that me.
  • 00:19:12.274 --> 00:19:16.311
  • And it takes fans.
  • 00:19:16.311 --> 00:19:19.114
  • People who
  • 00:19:19.114 --> 00:19:20.349
  • Cheer for your marriage, people who encourage your marriage,
  • 00:19:20.349 --> 00:19:23.485
  • Keep people who speak truth in your marriage.
  • 00:19:23.485 --> 00:19:26.121
  • It takes fans to do it,
  • 00:19:26.121 --> 00:19:28.924
  • What else needs to be there?
  • 00:19:29.524 --> 00:19:32.194
  • Write this down.
  • 00:19:32.194 --> 00:19:33.228
  • Forget everything else.
  • 00:19:33.228 --> 00:19:36.598
  • Love travels on the highway of communication.
  • 00:19:37.566 --> 00:19:45.807
  • Would you say that with me?
  • 00:19:46.408 --> 00:19:47.643
  • Follow me.
  • 00:19:47.643 --> 00:19:48.710
  • Love travels on the highway of communication.
  • 00:19:48.710 --> 00:19:54.182
  • There has to be communication.
  • 00:19:54.783 --> 00:19:59.154
  • Now. most of us don't understand communication.
  • 00:19:59.154 --> 00:20:02.391
  • We understand what all is involved in communication.
  • 00:20:02.391 --> 00:20:05.927
  • 7% of communication is words,
  • 00:20:06.561 --> 00:20:11.300
  • 7% all the way in
  • 00:20:11.733 --> 00:20:14.903
  • The balcony, 7% is words.
  • 00:20:14.903 --> 00:20:20.309
  • I spend a lot of time
  • 00:20:20.809 --> 00:20:21.877
  • On words trying to communicate biblical truth.
  • 00:20:21.877 --> 00:20:25.480
  • I spent.
  • 00:20:25.480 --> 00:20:26.548
  • And you mean only 7% of all communication words?
  • 00:20:26.548 --> 00:20:30.552
  • I think that's right.
  • 00:20:30.552 --> 00:20:33.922
  • 38% is tone of voice
  • 00:20:34.389 --> 00:20:37.292
  • Communication.
  • 00:20:37.292 --> 00:20:40.696
  • I love you, i love you.
  • 00:20:41.196 --> 00:20:44.333
  • Any difference in that
  • 00:20:44.333 --> 00:20:47.135
  • Tone of voice?
  • 00:20:47.469 --> 00:20:48.270
  • Well, we've got about 55% left.
  • 00:20:48.270 --> 00:20:52.207
  • What in the world could that be?
  • 00:20:52.207 --> 00:20:54.409
  • To communicate effectively?
  • 00:20:54.409 --> 00:20:57.179
  • It's your facial expressions.
  • 00:20:57.813 --> 00:21:01.350
  • It's your body language.
  • 00:21:01.883 --> 00:21:04.786
  • Yeah, 55% communication.
  • 00:21:05.320 --> 00:21:09.358
  • Now, folks don't don't just jump over that.
  • 00:21:09.358 --> 00:21:11.360
  • Oh i don't believe all that.
  • 00:21:11.360 --> 00:21:12.594
  • It's absolutely true by many, many discovery.
  • 00:21:12.594 --> 00:21:16.331
  • Learn how to communicate
  • 00:21:16.331 --> 00:21:19.401
  • Especially in marriage.
  • 00:21:19.401 --> 00:21:22.404
  • You see most marriages say stay in the shallow area
  • 00:21:22.404 --> 00:21:25.707
  • Of communication clichĂ©s.
  • 00:21:25.707 --> 00:21:29.378
  • How are you today?
  • 00:21:29.811 --> 00:21:30.879
  • I'm fine.
  • 00:21:30.879 --> 00:21:32.681
  • Is your rheumatoid arthritis any better in your ankle?
  • 00:21:32.681 --> 00:21:38.253
  • You know,
  • 00:21:38.553 --> 00:21:39.221
  • Just shallow communications.
  • 00:21:39.221 --> 00:21:41.823
  • What are you planning to eat today?
  • 00:21:41.823 --> 00:21:43.625
  • Shallow cliches. some marriages.
  • 00:21:43.625 --> 00:21:46.128
  • So sort of stay there.
  • 00:21:46.128 --> 00:21:50.065
  • Others moved into facts.
  • 00:21:50.599 --> 00:21:54.035
  • You're safe there.
  • 00:21:54.035 --> 00:21:55.437
  • You're just facts.
  • 00:21:55.437 --> 00:21:57.072
  • This happened.
  • 00:21:57.072 --> 00:21:57.873
  • That happened.
  • 00:21:57.873 --> 00:21:58.774
  • This happened. that's all right.
  • 00:21:58.774 --> 00:22:00.842
  • It's shallow, but facts are part of medication.
  • 00:22:00.842 --> 00:22:04.212
  • And then you move into opinions.
  • 00:22:04.913 --> 00:22:07.516
  • You get a little dangerous here.
  • 00:22:07.516 --> 00:22:09.885
  • It's a husband and wife.
  • 00:22:09.885 --> 00:22:10.886
  • Communicate now stay with me.
  • 00:22:10.886 --> 00:22:12.921
  • You get opinions, you have opinions.
  • 00:22:12.921 --> 00:22:14.689
  • But hopefully you do that
  • 00:22:14.689 --> 00:22:16.725
  • Redemptive easily, with the right tone of voice,
  • 00:22:16.725 --> 00:22:20.128
  • In the right words and the right facial expression.
  • 00:22:20.128 --> 00:22:22.998
  • Yeah, opinions.
  • 00:22:22.998 --> 00:22:24.666
  • But then
  • 00:22:24.666 --> 00:22:25.867
  • You move into another area of and that is feelings. oh.
  • 00:22:25.867 --> 00:22:29.271
  • Be careful there.
  • 00:22:29.271 --> 00:22:31.239
  • I feel like this.
  • 00:22:31.239 --> 00:22:33.442
  • My feelings are
  • 00:22:33.442 --> 00:22:35.710
  • You're getting it a little deeper, aren't you?
  • 00:22:35.710 --> 00:22:38.447
  • And the last thing is candid communication.
  • 00:22:38.447 --> 00:22:42.717
  • This is what i
  • 00:22:43.051 --> 00:22:44.586
  • Believe, what i feel, what i've experienced.
  • 00:22:44.586 --> 00:22:48.156
  • You see what i'm talking about?
  • 00:22:48.156 --> 00:22:49.958
  • Married men and women, husband and wife.
  • 00:22:49.958 --> 00:22:53.094
  • You can keep all that in the shallow part.
  • 00:22:53.094 --> 00:22:56.865
  • Cliches,
  • 00:22:57.132 --> 00:23:00.268
  • You know, facts, opinions.
  • 00:23:00.268 --> 00:23:03.905
  • But you move into feelings.
  • 00:23:03.905 --> 00:23:07.275
  • Candidness.
  • 00:23:07.609 --> 00:23:09.845
  • That's the reason it's important
  • 00:23:09.845 --> 00:23:11.546
  • As to how we communicate.
  • 00:23:11.546 --> 00:23:13.415
  • We have to learn to do what?
  • 00:23:13.415 --> 00:23:15.450
  • Speak
  • 00:23:15.450 --> 00:23:17.385
  • The truth in love.
  • 00:23:17.385 --> 00:23:20.889
  • A lot of people can speak truth.
  • 00:23:21.590 --> 00:23:24.326
  • It's not hard to speak truth if you know truth.
  • 00:23:24.326 --> 00:23:26.761
  • You believe truth that you could speak truth,
  • 00:23:26.761 --> 00:23:29.931
  • But to speak truth and love
  • 00:23:29.931 --> 00:23:33.802
  • That is so challenging, so difficult.
  • 00:23:34.603 --> 00:23:38.173
  • That's when the holy spirit has to lead and guide you and me.
  • 00:23:38.173 --> 00:23:42.277
  • Because we have fumble there many, many,
  • 00:23:42.277 --> 00:23:45.113
  • Many times, don't have a show of hands.
  • 00:23:45.113 --> 00:23:48.617
  • Speaking truth and love,
  • 00:23:49.150 --> 00:23:52.254
  • Kind, tenderhearted,
  • 00:23:52.721 --> 00:23:54.956
  • Forgiving, compassionate,
  • 00:23:54.956 --> 00:23:58.793
  • Communicating not just in the shallow areas,
  • 00:23:58.793 --> 00:24:01.329
  • But in love and those deeper areas.
  • 00:24:01.329 --> 00:24:04.232
  • And your marriage can begin to sing.
  • 00:24:04.232 --> 00:24:09.004
  • We talked about
  • 00:24:09.371 --> 00:24:11.606
  • Chameleons
  • 00:24:11.606 --> 00:24:14.476
  • Change colors in order
  • 00:24:14.476 --> 00:24:16.011
  • To attract the opposite sex.
  • 00:24:16.011 --> 00:24:19.214
  • But do you know about starfish?
  • 00:24:19.214 --> 00:24:22.050
  • Recently, they found a species of starfish
  • 00:24:22.918 --> 00:24:27.989
  • In the deep, deep waters off of greenland.
  • 00:24:27.989 --> 00:24:31.660
  • And these.
  • 00:24:31.960 --> 00:24:33.328
  • These starfish are most unusual
  • 00:24:33.328 --> 00:24:36.264
  • There. they are. bio lucent.
  • 00:24:36.865 --> 00:24:38.967
  • What does that mean?
  • 00:24:38.967 --> 00:24:40.035
  • It means that they can produce light in themselves.
  • 00:24:40.035 --> 00:24:43.305
  • And they produce light.
  • 00:24:43.805 --> 00:24:45.407
  • Those starfish down in the depths of the water
  • 00:24:45.407 --> 00:24:48.710
  • Of greenland.
  • 00:24:49.077 --> 00:24:50.445
  • And they produce that light in order to see in the darkness.
  • 00:24:50.445 --> 00:24:54.382
  • And also they produce that light
  • 00:24:54.382 --> 00:24:56.952
  • In order to attract
  • 00:24:56.952 --> 00:25:00.055
  • A mate.
  • 00:25:00.288 --> 00:25:02.223
  • In other words,
  • 00:25:02.591 --> 00:25:03.758
  • Those starfish are producing light in their lives
  • 00:25:03.758 --> 00:25:08.630
  • In order to find another starfish
  • 00:25:08.630 --> 00:25:13.969
  • Who also produces light in their lives.
  • 00:25:13.969 --> 00:25:17.672
  • Did you get that?
  • 00:25:18.106 --> 00:25:20.508
  • We are looking for people to be married to people
  • 00:25:20.508 --> 00:25:23.645
  • That have light
  • 00:25:23.645 --> 00:25:24.679
  • Of christ in their life, because that reflects
  • 00:25:24.679 --> 00:25:27.549
  • And blends with the light of christ in your life
  • 00:25:27.549 --> 00:25:30.552
  • And in my life,
  • 00:25:30.552 --> 00:25:33.488
  • Not chameleons.
  • 00:25:33.488 --> 00:25:34.889
  • I want to please, i want to get along.
  • 00:25:34.889 --> 00:25:37.125
  • I don't want to get
  • 00:25:37.125 --> 00:25:38.360
  • Any depth of communication, but you're looking for somebody
  • 00:25:38.360 --> 00:25:40.795
  • Who has a light of the world in their life.
  • 00:25:40.795 --> 00:25:42.998
  • That's jesus christ.
  • 00:25:42.998 --> 00:25:44.265
  • And you're married to someone
  • 00:25:44.265 --> 00:25:46.001
  • Who has a light of the world in jesus christ.
  • 00:25:46.001 --> 00:25:49.037
  • Wow, that's a marriage that sizzles, ladies and gentlemen.
  • 00:25:49.037 --> 00:25:54.275
  • That's a marriage that is biblical.
  • 00:25:54.275 --> 00:25:56.511
  • And that's a marriage
  • 00:25:56.511 --> 00:25:57.879
  • That will make all the difference in the world today.
  • 00:25:57.879 --> 00:26:04.085
  • Marriages today face more pressures than ever.
  • 00:26:04.986 --> 00:26:08.123
  • Many couples live
  • 00:26:08.123 --> 00:26:09.591
  • With stress, disappointment, distance and discouragement,
  • 00:26:09.591 --> 00:26:13.428
  • Wondering if the joy they want shared can ever return.
  • 00:26:13.428 --> 00:26:17.365
  • But god's design for marriage has not changed.
  • 00:26:17.365 --> 00:26:20.969
  • In doctor young's the ten commandments of marriage,
  • 00:26:20.969 --> 00:26:24.539
  • You'll find practical biblical principles that can help
  • 00:26:24.539 --> 00:26:27.609
  • Transform your relationship from the inside out.
  • 00:26:27.609 --> 00:26:31.446
  • Whether you've been married for months or decades,
  • 00:26:31.446 --> 00:26:34.816
  • These truths can help you communicate better, grow closer
  • 00:26:34.816 --> 00:26:38.553
  • Spiritually, resolve conflict in a healthy way,
  • 00:26:38.553 --> 00:26:41.890
  • And to rediscover the love that first brought you together.
  • 00:26:41.890 --> 00:26:46.394
  • A strong marriage doesn't happen by accident.
  • 00:26:46.394 --> 00:26:49.431
  • It grows when a husband and wife choose
  • 00:26:49.431 --> 00:26:52.467
  • To build their relationship god's way with christ.
  • 00:26:52.467 --> 00:26:56.304
  • At the center of your home,
  • 00:26:56.304 --> 00:26:57.906
  • There is always hope, healing, and a path forward.
  • 00:26:57.906 --> 00:27:02.010
  • If you want to strengthen your marriage and build
  • 00:27:02.010 --> 00:27:04.946
  • A relationship that honors god and blesses your family.
  • 00:27:04.946 --> 00:27:08.450
  • The ten commandments of marriage is for you.
  • 00:27:08.450 --> 00:27:11.486
  • Call the number on your screen or visit the website below to
  • 00:27:11.486 --> 00:27:15.023
  • Request your copy today.
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