Your Move with Andy Stanley

Andy Stanley - A Better Question (Part 2)

January 10, 2026 | 28:29

Your Move with Andy Stanley — to help people make better decisions and live with fewer regrets.

#WordofGod #Commitment #Purpose #Redemption #Challenges #Disciples #Authority #TrustGod #AndyStanley

Closed captions

Show Timecode

Your Move with Andy Stanley | Andy Stanley - A Better Question (Part 2) | January 10, 2026

...
00:00:00.633 --> 00:00:00.351
Andy stanley: hi, everybody, welcome to "your move," where we
00:00:00.785 --> 00:00:02.687
Help you make better decisions and live with fewer regrets.
00:00:02.821 --> 00:00:04.689
I'm andy stanley, and i'll be your guide.
00:00:04.789 --> 00:00:06.691
And i'd like to begin with a confession: i am a born striver.
00:00:06.791 --> 00:00:10.695
I love progress, i like winning, and while there's nothing
00:00:10.795 --> 00:00:13.665
Inherently wrong with that, when it gets out of hand, well, if
00:00:13.765 --> 00:00:16.501
You're a striver or maybe you live with a striver, you
00:00:16.634 --> 00:00:19.404
Know, right?
00:00:19.537 --> 00:00:20.772
We become discontent with everything and everybody.
00:00:20.905 --> 00:00:23.208
And that's a problem, and there is a solution, and that's what
00:00:23.308 --> 00:00:26.077
We're talking about today right here on "your move."
00:00:26.177 --> 00:00:27.078
[music]
00:00:28.079 --> 00:00:34.786
Andy: so, today, if you were here last time, we're in part
00:00:34.786 --> 00:00:36.955
Two of our series "a better question," because it's the
00:00:36.955 --> 00:00:39.657
Beginning of the year, and this is the season that's kind of
00:00:39.657 --> 00:00:42.694
About us thinking about ourselves and
00:00:42.694 --> 00:00:44.095
Evaluating ourselves.
00:00:44.095 --> 00:00:45.463
It's the--it's really like the season of self-improvement or
00:00:45.463 --> 00:00:48.032
A renewed commitment to self-improvement, where we're
00:00:48.032 --> 00:00:50.768
Painfully aware of where we are and where we aren't, where we
00:00:50.768 --> 00:00:53.638
Thought we would be by this point in our lives, or maybe by
00:00:53.638 --> 00:00:56.508
This point in our year.
00:00:56.508 --> 00:00:58.376
We're consumed with the things that we need to start and stop,
00:00:58.376 --> 00:01:00.879
The things we need to do more of and less of, the food we need to
00:01:00.879 --> 00:01:04.482
Eat more of and less of.
00:01:04.482 --> 00:01:07.185
So it's super easy, of course, to get focused on and remain
00:01:07.185 --> 00:01:10.221
Focused on this question: what should i do about me?
00:01:10.221 --> 00:01:13.424
How can i make myself better?
00:01:13.424 --> 00:01:15.026
How can i make myself slimmer and stronger and healthier
00:01:15.026 --> 00:01:19.464
And wealthier?
00:01:19.464 --> 00:01:20.798
And i think we should all address all of those things.
00:01:20.798 --> 00:01:23.835
So this isn't an instead of.
00:01:23.835 --> 00:01:26.871
I think if you're trying to finish a degree, finish
00:01:26.871 --> 00:01:29.674
That degree.
00:01:29.674 --> 00:01:31.009
If you want to get out of debt, you should get out of debt.
00:01:31.009 --> 00:01:32.877
If you, you know, want to break a bad habit, break that habit.
00:01:32.877 --> 00:01:35.613
But last time i suggested an additional question, and i do
00:01:35.613 --> 00:01:39.050
Think it's a better question.
00:01:39.050 --> 00:01:40.752
And if you'll take this better question seriously, it will
00:01:40.752 --> 00:01:43.755
Actually help you with the what should i do about me
00:01:43.755 --> 00:01:47.625
Decisions and the what should i do about me
00:01:47.625 --> 00:01:49.027
Resolutions that you have.
00:01:49.027 --> 00:01:50.361
It really will.
00:01:50.361 --> 00:01:51.729
It will get you in a position to actually--doing those things
00:01:51.729 --> 00:01:54.132
Are going to get you in a position to be able to follow
00:01:54.132 --> 00:01:56.568
Through on your answer to our better question.
00:01:56.568 --> 00:01:59.337
And the better question is, what breaks your heart?
00:01:59.337 --> 00:02:03.374
What breaks your heart?
00:02:03.374 --> 00:02:04.742
You're like me, you're bothered by a lot of things, you're
00:02:04.742 --> 00:02:07.679
Irritated by a lot of things, you're offended by some things
00:02:07.679 --> 00:02:11.282
Locally or in our culture or nationally or
00:02:11.282 --> 00:02:14.385
Maybe internationally.
00:02:14.385 --> 00:02:16.321
But the question is that we're talking--asking, is there one
00:02:16.321 --> 00:02:18.957
Thing that bothers you more than all the other things?
00:02:18.957 --> 00:02:22.126
Is there one thing that irritates you a little bit more
00:02:22.126 --> 00:02:24.996
Than all the other things?
00:02:24.996 --> 00:02:26.364
In fact, it's more than sad.
00:02:26.364 --> 00:02:29.133
If you're honest, when you think about it for very long, it makes
00:02:29.133 --> 00:02:31.369
You mad.
00:02:31.369 --> 00:02:32.704
You're like, "this should not be in the world.
00:02:32.704 --> 00:02:34.372
We should not have this in our community.
00:02:34.372 --> 00:02:36.407
This should not be an issue for these people.
00:02:36.407 --> 00:02:38.810
People shouldn't be treated--" i mean, is there anything that
00:02:38.810 --> 00:02:41.279
Kind of goes from mad--excuse me, from sad to mad to the point
00:02:41.279 --> 00:02:44.916
Where you almost wish you didn't know about it, you wish you
00:02:44.916 --> 00:02:47.585
Hadn't read about it, you wish you hadn't heard about it, you
00:02:47.585 --> 00:02:49.988
Wish you hadn't seen it because now you can't unsee it?
00:02:49.988 --> 00:02:54.359
But you tell yourself, like we all do, "well, it's too big.
00:02:54.359 --> 00:02:57.462
There's nothing i can do about it."
00:02:57.462 --> 00:02:58.930
And maybe there's nothing you can do about it, but generally
00:02:58.930 --> 00:03:01.733
Speaking, if you focus on it long enough, there's always
00:03:01.733 --> 00:03:05.370
Something you can do about it, because somewhere in the world,
00:03:05.370 --> 00:03:08.973
There are people working on it.
00:03:08.973 --> 00:03:11.042
And if nothing else, you can decide that every month you're
00:03:11.042 --> 00:03:13.211
Going to send them a check to say, "hey, i can't tackle this,
00:03:13.211 --> 00:03:16.047
But you're tackling it, and i want to partner with you to
00:03:16.047 --> 00:03:19.284
Address this thing that i just don't think this should be in
00:03:19.284 --> 00:03:22.654
The world."
00:03:22.654 --> 00:03:24.022
So whether you know exactly what to do with it or not, it's worth
00:03:24.022 --> 00:03:26.691
Thinking about it.
00:03:26.691 --> 00:03:28.059
It's worth letting it bother you.
00:03:28.059 --> 00:03:29.694
Now, as we said last time, if you don't have an answer to this
00:03:29.694 --> 00:03:33.097
Question, what breaks your heart, that's okay for now.
00:03:33.097 --> 00:03:36.067
Don't just come up with something, don't manufacture
00:03:36.067 --> 00:03:38.303
Something, but think about this.
00:03:38.303 --> 00:03:40.405
You should ask this question because--and we--i gave you
00:03:40.405 --> 00:03:43.541
Some examples last time.
00:03:43.541 --> 00:03:44.909
We're not gonna do that again today.
00:03:44.909 --> 00:03:46.244
But for some people--and this may not be the case for you, but
00:03:46.244 --> 00:03:48.513
For some people, this question or a question like this is
00:03:48.513 --> 00:03:52.784
Actually the gateway to purpose.
00:03:52.784 --> 00:03:57.055
Now, i want to talk about this for just a minute.
00:03:57.055 --> 00:03:59.157
We're moving on.
00:03:59.157 --> 00:04:01.092
You were created for purpose.
00:04:01.092 --> 00:04:05.963
It is--purpose in your life-- or finding purpose in your
00:04:05.963 --> 00:04:08.733
Life--and we'll talk specifically about what that
00:04:08.733 --> 00:04:10.935
Looks like next time.
00:04:10.935 --> 00:04:12.937
Purpose is an essential.
00:04:12.937 --> 00:04:14.305
I mean, there's food, water, shelter, and purpose.
00:04:14.305 --> 00:04:18.009
And here's why, just to go a little bit deeper on this.
00:04:18.009 --> 00:04:21.579
The pursuit of happiness--and we all want to be happy, and
00:04:21.579 --> 00:04:24.248
We're all kind of on a happiness quest to some extent.
00:04:24.248 --> 00:04:26.784
The pursuit of happiness alone, when it becomes your objective,
00:04:26.784 --> 00:04:30.621
The pursuit of happiness becomes a doom loop.
00:04:30.621 --> 00:04:33.725
That means you're stuck in a cycle over and over and over and
00:04:33.725 --> 00:04:36.361
Over and over, over, because the pursuit of happiness keeps you
00:04:36.361 --> 00:04:39.964
Focused on you, and the result isn't happiness.
00:04:39.964 --> 00:04:44.001
You know what the result of that is?
00:04:44.001 --> 00:04:45.803
The result of that, believe it or not, is insecurity.
00:04:45.803 --> 00:04:49.040
And do you know what insecurity is?
00:04:49.040 --> 00:04:50.742
Insecurity is fear.
00:04:50.742 --> 00:04:52.977
It's the fear that we're not enough.
00:04:52.977 --> 00:04:56.314
And, news flash, we're not, okay?
00:04:56.314 --> 00:04:59.851
And let me tell you what i mean by this.
00:04:59.851 --> 00:05:01.219
I don't mean that you don't have extraordinary worth and dignity
00:05:01.219 --> 00:05:04.021
When it comes to god's love for you.
00:05:04.021 --> 00:05:05.423
God loves you so much, he sent his son into this world to
00:05:05.423 --> 00:05:08.426
Redeem you and to reconcile you because he wants to have a
00:05:08.426 --> 00:05:10.995
Relationship with you.
00:05:10.995 --> 00:05:12.330
So this isn't about your personal value.
00:05:12.330 --> 00:05:14.665
This is the idea that there is not enough of you to fill you,
00:05:14.665 --> 00:05:20.338
That you are not enough to fill yourself up.
00:05:20.338 --> 00:05:23.408
And when happiness becomes the chief pursuit, "i just gotta
00:05:23.408 --> 00:05:26.978
Figure out how to be happy," you get in a doom loop, where you're
00:05:26.978 --> 00:05:30.581
Constantly trying to relationships and experiences to
00:05:30.581 --> 00:05:33.985
Fill yourself up.
00:05:33.985 --> 00:05:35.319
And i'm just telling you this, is why the earlier you figure
00:05:35.319 --> 00:05:37.555
This out, the better, i'm telling you, it's impossible
00:05:37.555 --> 00:05:42.326
Because of how god created you.
00:05:42.326 --> 00:05:44.562
In fact, let me say it a different way.
00:05:44.562 --> 00:05:46.497
You know, we talk about people who are full of themselves.
00:05:46.497 --> 00:05:48.766
"well, she's full of herself.
00:05:48.766 --> 00:05:50.101
He's full of himself."
00:05:50.101 --> 00:05:51.469
Okay, here's the thing: that doesn't mean they're full,
00:05:51.469 --> 00:05:56.007
It just means the only thing in there is themselves.
00:05:56.007 --> 00:05:59.777
You look in there, and the only thing in there is them, but they
00:05:59.777 --> 00:06:03.114
Are not full.
00:06:03.114 --> 00:06:04.449
In fact, they're half empty.
00:06:04.449 --> 00:06:06.584
There's lots of room.
00:06:06.584 --> 00:06:08.519
But that room wasn't created for them to fill.
00:06:08.519 --> 00:06:11.155
That room was created for something more.
00:06:11.155 --> 00:06:14.992
And according to jesus--we're about to unpack one of the most
00:06:14.992 --> 00:06:17.562
Important things he ever taught, and one of the most complex
00:06:17.562 --> 00:06:20.064
Things he ever taught.
00:06:20.064 --> 00:06:21.432
So we're gonna crawl through it word by word in just a minute,
00:06:21.432 --> 00:06:23.267
But just kinda giving you the big picture.
00:06:23.267 --> 00:06:25.336
According to jesus, being consumed with you will
00:06:25.336 --> 00:06:32.243
Ultimately consume you.
00:06:32.243 --> 00:06:36.013
Being consumed--this is why if you're in your 20s and you can
00:06:36.013 --> 00:06:38.816
Figure this out, you--i'm telling you, you're gonna be so
00:06:38.816 --> 00:06:40.785
Far ahead of the rest of us.
00:06:40.785 --> 00:06:42.153
Being consumed with you will ultimately consume you.
00:06:42.153 --> 00:06:44.322
Here's what he's gonna sort of tease out for us in just
00:06:44.322 --> 00:06:46.591
A minute.
00:06:46.591 --> 00:06:47.925
When i am on the doom-loop happiness quest, it's all about
00:06:47.925 --> 00:06:50.761
Me, all about me, all about me, over time, that eats away at me
00:06:50.761 --> 00:06:55.700
From the inside out.
00:06:55.700 --> 00:06:57.568
You will use yourself up trying to fill yourself up.
00:06:57.568 --> 00:07:01.506
And in the process, you may fill up a house or two, you may fill
00:07:01.506 --> 00:07:04.709
Up a garage or two, you may fill a bed or two, but you'll never
00:07:04.709 --> 00:07:10.982
Fill you.
00:07:10.982 --> 00:07:13.484
This may be the ultimate paradox.
00:07:13.484 --> 00:07:17.021
You all know what a paradox is?
00:07:17.021 --> 00:07:19.290
A paradox is two doxes, okay?
00:07:19.290 --> 00:07:23.027
There's a unidox and-- just kidding, okay?
00:07:23.027 --> 00:07:24.962
No, a paradox--i just wanna make sure you're
00:07:24.962 --> 00:07:26.430
Paying attention.
00:07:26.430 --> 00:07:27.798
A paradox is a seemingly absurd or contradictory statement that,
00:07:27.798 --> 00:07:32.336
When considered carefully, turns out to be true.
00:07:32.336 --> 00:07:34.839
A paradox is something you hear, and you're like, "wait a minute,
00:07:34.839 --> 00:07:37.441
That doesn't even make sense."
00:07:37.441 --> 00:07:39.243
And then you kind of investigate it and spend some time with it,
00:07:39.243 --> 00:07:41.546
And you're like, "oh, my goodness, that makes
00:07:41.546 --> 00:07:44.415
Total sense."
00:07:44.415 --> 00:07:45.783
A paradox is not intuitive.
00:07:45.783 --> 00:07:47.118
It's easy to dismiss.
00:07:47.118 --> 00:07:48.452
And if you dismiss the paradox that jesus is about to lay out
00:07:48.452 --> 00:07:51.222
For us, you miss out, because according to jesus--again, i'm
00:07:51.222 --> 00:07:55.626
Kind of giving you the headline before we look at the details.
00:07:55.626 --> 00:07:58.563
According to jesus, filling is achieved through emptying.
00:07:58.563 --> 00:08:06.671
Like, "that doesn't make sense."
00:08:06.671 --> 00:08:08.039
Hang on.
00:08:08.039 --> 00:08:09.373
Gaining is achieved through giving.
00:08:09.373 --> 00:08:12.910
It's like, "wait, does it--" just hang on.
00:08:12.910 --> 00:08:15.680
Winning is achieved through losing.
00:08:15.680 --> 00:08:21.352
And this is so countercultural, for sure.
00:08:21.352 --> 00:08:23.688
It's so, quote, "un-american" to some extent, right?
00:08:23.688 --> 00:08:27.224
And it's, you know, certainly counterintuitive.
00:08:27.224 --> 00:08:31.896
So, no wonder.
00:08:31.896 --> 00:08:33.264
This is why no wonder we push back on actually
00:08:33.264 --> 00:08:36.400
Following jesus.
00:08:36.400 --> 00:08:37.735
And then you live a few years, then you get toward the end of
00:08:37.735 --> 00:08:40.638
Your life, and you look back, and you're like, "oh my
00:08:40.638 --> 00:08:42.573
Goodness, that made perfect sense."
00:08:42.573 --> 00:08:45.910
So it should be no surprise to discover that following jesus is
00:08:45.910 --> 00:08:51.616
Characterized by self-denial, not self-improvement.
00:08:51.616 --> 00:08:56.487
But--and, again, this is why you gotta spend some time
00:08:56.487 --> 00:08:59.290
Thinking about this--follow jesus, and you will improve.
00:08:59.290 --> 00:09:05.963
It's the result, it's not the focus.
00:09:05.963 --> 00:09:11.002
But the challenge is--that's why we push back, i get it--
00:09:11.002 --> 00:09:14.905
Following jesus, it's gonna cost us something.
00:09:14.905 --> 00:09:19.877
Jesus is about to tell us that refusing to follow him will cost
00:09:19.877 --> 00:09:25.816
You even more, because you can accumulate everything and have
00:09:25.816 --> 00:09:32.023
Every imaginable experience and lose yourself.
00:09:32.023 --> 00:09:37.962
And so he tells us how to avoid that.
00:09:37.962 --> 00:09:41.532
You ready?
00:09:41.532 --> 00:09:42.933
One day, he's walking along, and he looks over his shoulder, and
00:09:42.933 --> 00:09:45.403
There's this crowd, 'cause everywhere he went,
00:09:45.403 --> 00:09:46.971
There's crowds.
00:09:46.971 --> 00:09:48.305
It's so interesting, okay?
00:09:48.305 --> 00:09:49.674
So there's this crowd, and he realizes, "this is just another
00:09:49.674 --> 00:09:52.276
Crowd of 'what's in it for me?' people."
00:09:52.276 --> 00:09:55.446
And he decides to thin the herd.
00:09:55.446 --> 00:09:58.416
So here's what the text tells us--mark, who got his
00:09:58.416 --> 00:10:00.551
Information from peter, tells us.
00:10:00.551 --> 00:10:01.919
"and jesus summoned the crowd."
00:10:01.919 --> 00:10:03.287
He stops walking and says, "all right, you know, gather up
00:10:03.287 --> 00:10:05.790
Everybody," and his disciples.
00:10:05.790 --> 00:10:07.692
That's the group that follows him everywhere, including
00:10:07.692 --> 00:10:09.960
The 12.
00:10:09.960 --> 00:10:11.328
And he said to this large group, "if anyone wishes to come after
00:10:11.328 --> 00:10:15.533
Me," and, of course, they're thinking, "well, what do you
00:10:15.533 --> 00:10:19.603
Mean if we wish to come after you?"
00:10:19.603 --> 00:10:20.938
Another way of saying this is, "if anyone wishes to follow me,"
00:10:20.938 --> 00:10:23.507
And they're like, "what do you think we're doing?
00:10:23.507 --> 00:10:25.576
Everywhere you go, we go with you.
00:10:25.576 --> 00:10:26.944
Of course we're following you."
00:10:26.944 --> 00:10:28.279
He's like, "no, no, no, i'm not talking about that.
00:10:28.279 --> 00:10:30.715
We're about to take this to another level.
00:10:30.715 --> 00:10:33.250
Anybody who wishes to follow me or come after me must
00:10:33.250 --> 00:10:36.987
Deny himself.
00:10:36.987 --> 00:10:38.789
Anybody who wants to follow me," he says, "you're gonna have to
00:10:38.789 --> 00:10:41.859
Say no to you."
00:10:41.859 --> 00:10:45.696
Then he says this, which means nothing to us, but--'cause
00:10:45.696 --> 00:10:47.732
We've never seen this, we've never experienced this, we've
00:10:47.732 --> 00:10:50.434
Never smelled this, we've never turned our eyes away from this,
00:10:50.434 --> 00:10:54.405
We've never seen the aftermath of this, but they had.
00:10:54.405 --> 00:10:58.609
This was staggering.
00:10:58.609 --> 00:11:00.578
He says, "if you're gonna follow me, you're gonna have to say no
00:11:00.578 --> 00:11:02.646
To yourself, and here's how far you're gonna have to take this:
00:11:02.646 --> 00:11:06.450
You're gonna have to take up a cross.
00:11:06.450 --> 00:11:07.952
You're gonna take up your own cross and follow me."
00:11:07.952 --> 00:11:12.156
In the first century, second century--you know, before the
00:11:12.156 --> 00:11:14.558
First century, second century, if somebody was carrying a cross
00:11:14.558 --> 00:11:19.163
Or a piece of a cross, they had forfeited their independence.
00:11:19.163 --> 00:11:25.970
He says, "you wanna follow me, you wanna come after me, you
00:11:25.970 --> 00:11:27.972
Wanna be one of my disciples, one of my learners?
00:11:27.972 --> 00:11:31.075
Then you can't be a free agent.
00:11:31.075 --> 00:11:35.246
You're gonna have to embrace my agenda."
00:11:35.246 --> 00:11:37.681
And then he dives into the paradox of all paradoxes.
00:11:37.681 --> 00:11:41.485
Ready? this is amazing.
00:11:41.485 --> 00:11:42.820
You've read this before. you've heard this before.
00:11:42.820 --> 00:11:44.255
You've heard it taught on before.
00:11:44.255 --> 00:11:46.056
The language is clunky and confusing because of the
00:11:46.056 --> 00:11:49.794
Translation, so we're gonna tease this out together.
00:11:49.794 --> 00:11:52.096
He says, "for whoever," that would be all of us.
00:11:52.096 --> 00:11:55.099
If you're not a christian, he's including you.
00:11:55.099 --> 00:11:57.301
He just put the funnel out as wide as he possibly could, cast
00:11:57.301 --> 00:12:00.437
A wide net.
00:12:00.437 --> 00:12:01.806
"for whoever," believer, non-believer, jew, gentile,
00:12:01.806 --> 00:12:03.774
It doesn't matter.
00:12:03.774 --> 00:12:05.142
Man, woman, doesn't--free--
00:12:05.142 --> 00:12:07.778
"for whoever wants to save their life," to which i'm in, i want
00:12:07.778 --> 00:12:12.416
To save my life, "will lose it."
00:12:12.416 --> 00:12:15.286
Not--i don't know, okay?
00:12:15.286 --> 00:12:16.654
Wait, what?
00:12:16.654 --> 00:12:17.988
What do you mean if i'm gonna save my life, i have to lose it?
00:12:17.988 --> 00:12:20.658
You know, what do you mean lose it, like die?
00:12:20.658 --> 00:12:24.328
Or how?
00:12:24.328 --> 00:12:25.996
And this is so interesting.
00:12:25.996 --> 00:12:27.331
This little greek word, it's apollumi, it's used all over the
00:12:27.331 --> 00:12:30.167
English and the greek new testament, and it's translated
00:12:30.167 --> 00:12:32.336
Different ways, even in our english new testament, depending
00:12:32.336 --> 00:12:34.371
On the context.
00:12:34.371 --> 00:12:35.739
What it means is to lose out, to ruin, to destroy.
00:12:35.739 --> 00:12:40.744
Here's what he's saying: whoever wants to save their life will
00:12:40.744 --> 00:12:45.049
Ruin it.
00:12:45.049 --> 00:12:46.951
Whoever wants to save their life--he's gonna define save in
00:12:46.951 --> 00:12:49.753
Just a minute.
00:12:49.753 --> 00:12:51.088
Whoever wants to save their life is gonna ruin it.
00:12:51.088 --> 00:12:53.824
This is cause and effect.
00:12:53.824 --> 00:12:56.060
This is sowing and reaping.
00:12:56.060 --> 00:12:59.296
The whoever that's trying to save their life, they lose their
00:12:59.296 --> 00:13:03.234
Life or they ruin their life, not because something happens
00:13:03.234 --> 00:13:06.704
To them.
00:13:06.704 --> 00:13:08.072
He says, "no, no, that's not what i'm talking about.
00:13:08.072 --> 00:13:09.940
In seeking to save their life, cling to their life, they
00:13:09.940 --> 00:13:15.346
Actually ruin it themselves, that in their attempt to hang
00:13:15.346 --> 00:13:22.553
Onto all of their life, everything that represents life
00:13:22.553 --> 00:13:27.892
To them, in their effort to cling and hang onto everything
00:13:27.892 --> 00:13:31.228
That represents life to them, it slips away through
00:13:31.228 --> 00:13:33.864
Their fingers."
00:13:33.864 --> 00:13:35.933
But come on, jesus, you gotta be more specific.
00:13:35.933 --> 00:13:37.835
Help us out.
00:13:37.835 --> 00:13:39.169
What exactly slips through our fingers?
00:13:39.169 --> 00:13:40.504
What exactly is lost?
00:13:40.504 --> 00:13:41.839
What is whosoever?
00:13:41.839 --> 00:13:45.075
What is whosoever trying to save?
00:13:45.075 --> 00:13:47.444
It's not physical life, he makes that clear.
00:13:47.444 --> 00:13:49.313
This isn't about dying, it's something else.
00:13:49.313 --> 00:13:51.849
What's he getting at?
00:13:51.849 --> 00:13:54.318
Well, he's about to tell us.
00:13:54.318 --> 00:13:56.754
But even if he didn't tell us, you have seen this played out in
00:13:56.754 --> 00:14:01.892
Someone's life.
00:14:01.892 --> 00:14:03.594
You've seen this played out, and maybe in the life of somebody
00:14:03.594 --> 00:14:06.363
You love and care about.
00:14:06.363 --> 00:14:08.165
You may be currently watching this very dynamic that he's
00:14:08.165 --> 00:14:11.201
Talking about playing out in front of you in the life of
00:14:11.201 --> 00:14:13.871
Somebody that is a friend or a neighbor or a coworker or maybe
00:14:13.871 --> 00:14:16.573
One of your kids or maybe an ex-husband or wife or maybe your
00:14:16.573 --> 00:14:20.644
Husband or wife.
00:14:20.644 --> 00:14:21.979
But here's the real kicker: this may be playing out in your life,
00:14:21.979 --> 00:14:26.951
And you don't know it.
00:14:26.951 --> 00:14:30.754
And what is this that we see sometimes playing out in the
00:14:30.754 --> 00:14:33.324
Lives of other people that jesus is unpacking for us?
00:14:33.324 --> 00:14:36.293
Simply this, that those-- you've seen this.
00:14:36.293 --> 00:14:38.996
Those who devote themselves to themselves eventually
00:14:38.996 --> 00:14:41.532
Lose themselves.
00:14:41.532 --> 00:14:42.866
In the end, they only have themselves to show for
00:14:42.866 --> 00:14:44.935
Themselves and some stuff that people line up to divide up.
00:14:44.935 --> 00:14:52.009
And jesus is trying to save you from that.
00:14:52.009 --> 00:14:57.681
And jesus is trying to save me from that.
00:14:57.681 --> 00:15:03.020
And those of you with influence and authority over other people,
00:15:03.020 --> 00:15:05.756
Either at work or at home, jesus wants you to save those people
00:15:05.756 --> 00:15:10.527
From that.
00:15:10.527 --> 00:15:13.797
His point--again, there's more to come--is that i am not
00:15:13.797 --> 00:15:20.804
Enough for me to live for, that i am not enough for me to live
00:15:20.804 --> 00:15:26.243
For, and you are not enough for you to live for either, because
00:15:26.243 --> 00:15:31.181
If you attempt to live for yourself, you will always be
00:15:31.181 --> 00:15:34.485
Half empty.
00:15:34.485 --> 00:15:37.888
And you will never be happy.
00:15:37.888 --> 00:15:42.326
And you will always assume it's somebody else's fault.
00:15:42.326 --> 00:15:49.566
And so you will be tempted to go from somebody to somebody to
00:15:49.566 --> 00:15:53.370
Somebody to somebody, and by the time you figure it out that the
00:15:53.370 --> 00:15:57.708
Common denominator in all those relationships was you, you will
00:15:57.708 --> 00:16:04.815
Have wasted your time and your life, but worse, you will have
00:16:04.815 --> 00:16:10.854
Wasted an opportunity for purpose.
00:16:10.854 --> 00:16:16.760
You've seen this.
00:16:16.760 --> 00:16:18.762
He's trying to rescue you from this.
00:16:18.762 --> 00:16:21.465
And, again, it's a paradox.
00:16:21.465 --> 00:16:22.800
It's like, "wait a minute, what are you asking?
00:16:22.800 --> 00:16:24.134
What are you asking? what are you asking?"
00:16:24.134 --> 00:16:25.469
And jesus is like, "would you quit backing up?
00:16:25.469 --> 00:16:27.938
I'm inviting you.
00:16:27.938 --> 00:16:30.140
I'm inviting you to live your life the way you were created
00:16:30.140 --> 00:16:33.777
To live.
00:16:33.777 --> 00:16:35.112
It just doesn't work any other way.
00:16:35.112 --> 00:16:37.614
Have you not seen what happens to people who are consumed
00:16:37.614 --> 00:16:41.051
With themselves?
00:16:41.051 --> 00:16:42.419
They're afraid of what they're losing, and what they don't
00:16:42.419 --> 00:16:44.455
Understand is they're losing what's more important in their
00:16:44.455 --> 00:16:46.990
Effort to hang on and to cling.
00:16:46.990 --> 00:16:48.792
It slips through their fingers."
00:16:48.792 --> 00:16:52.763
Then it continues.
00:16:52.763 --> 00:16:54.131
"for whoever wants to save their life will lose it."
00:16:54.131 --> 00:16:55.466
In other words, the people who cling to it, it slips away.
00:16:55.466 --> 00:16:57.901
But here's the flip side, "but whoever loses their life--" now,
00:16:57.901 --> 00:17:03.540
Again, you read that, and you're like, "whoever dies?"
00:17:03.540 --> 00:17:05.542
He's not talking about dying, and he's not talking about, "oh,
00:17:05.542 --> 00:17:08.345
My goodness, where did i put my life?
00:17:08.345 --> 00:17:10.047
I've lost--hey, everybody, stop for a minute, i've lost my life.
00:17:10.047 --> 00:17:12.716
Has anybody seen--" no, he's not talking about that kind--this
00:17:12.716 --> 00:17:15.319
Is an interesting little play on words in the greek language.
00:17:15.319 --> 00:17:18.055
Here's what he's saying.
00:17:18.055 --> 00:17:19.389
He's saying, "look, those who-- this is a decision."
00:17:19.389 --> 00:17:21.158
You don't lose it like it got stolen from you or you misplaced
00:17:21.158 --> 00:17:23.961
Your life.
00:17:23.961 --> 00:17:25.329
He says, "no, this is all your choice.
00:17:25.329 --> 00:17:27.598
You're a part of all this."
00:17:27.598 --> 00:17:29.566
This is about intentionality.
00:17:29.566 --> 00:17:30.934
This is about deciding.
00:17:30.934 --> 00:17:32.269
It's about pre-deciding.
00:17:32.269 --> 00:17:33.604
Those who choose to give a portion of their lives to
00:17:33.604 --> 00:17:36.406
Something that's not them or for them, people who choose
00:17:36.406 --> 00:17:40.043
Proactively to make sure that not everything that's about me
00:17:40.043 --> 00:17:42.913
And comes to me is for me, the person who chooses to distribute
00:17:42.913 --> 00:17:47.151
Their life--again, the person who treats their capacity, their
00:17:47.151 --> 00:17:50.954
Talent, their resources like seed that they just scatter, he
00:17:50.954 --> 00:17:57.060
Says that's what it looks like to lose your life.
00:17:57.060 --> 00:17:59.730
You choose to lose it because you choose to distribute it, you
00:17:59.730 --> 00:18:04.968
Choose to make it available to other people that aren't you.
00:18:04.968 --> 00:18:07.704
And then he clarifies what-- exactly what this looks like.
00:18:07.704 --> 00:18:10.174
Again, in the english text, it's a little bit difficult
00:18:10.174 --> 00:18:13.243
To understand.
00:18:13.243 --> 00:18:14.611
This is what this looks like. this is what this acts like.
00:18:14.611 --> 00:18:16.446
This is the application.
00:18:16.446 --> 00:18:19.082
He says, "whoever wants to save their life will lose it, and
00:18:19.082 --> 00:18:21.185
Whoever loses their life for me."
00:18:21.185 --> 00:18:24.755
This isn't about martyrdom.
00:18:24.755 --> 00:18:27.658
Again, and this was not an invitation to do something
00:18:27.658 --> 00:18:34.097
For jesus.
00:18:34.097 --> 00:18:35.632
Very important, remember, this entire discussion began with a
00:18:35.632 --> 00:18:39.069
Group of people who were in it for themselves, and jesus is
00:18:39.069 --> 00:18:41.138
Like, "i'm gonna thin the herd."
00:18:41.138 --> 00:18:43.273
And so the question was, "do you want to follow me?
00:18:43.273 --> 00:18:46.009
Do you want to be one of my disciples?
00:18:46.009 --> 00:18:47.978
Do you want to really be a part of what i'm doing?"
00:18:47.978 --> 00:18:49.980
Yes, we do.
00:18:49.980 --> 00:18:51.582
So this is about becoming like jesus.
00:18:51.582 --> 00:18:54.451
This is about embracing the way of jesus.
00:18:54.451 --> 00:18:58.455
So when he says, "whoever loses their life for me," he means
00:18:58.455 --> 00:19:03.493
That "whoever decides to live their life the way i have
00:19:03.493 --> 00:19:07.731
Instructed you to live your life, the person--anybody who
00:19:07.731 --> 00:19:10.901
Chooses my agenda, they're choosing it, and in choosing it,
00:19:10.901 --> 00:19:14.471
They are going to give themselves away in some
00:19:14.471 --> 00:19:18.275
Capacity, just like i came to give my life away in
00:19:18.275 --> 00:19:22.479
Some capacity."
00:19:22.479 --> 00:19:23.847
He said, "to lose your life is to choose to follow me and to
00:19:23.847 --> 00:19:28.018
Live as i've instructed you to live.
00:19:28.018 --> 00:19:29.853
I didn't come to be served, but to serve and to give my life
00:19:29.853 --> 00:19:32.055
A ransom for many.
00:19:32.055 --> 00:19:33.423
You have to look for ways not to be served, but to serve others
00:19:33.423 --> 00:19:35.659
And to give your life away."
00:19:35.659 --> 00:19:37.794
He says, "i've come--i'm all about the one anothers," right?
00:19:37.794 --> 00:19:41.632
"and you're to be all about the one anothers."
00:19:41.632 --> 00:19:43.100
In fact, this is what the apostle paul does in
00:19:43.100 --> 00:19:44.868
His letters.
00:19:44.868 --> 00:19:46.203
He takes the teaching of jesus, this core teaching of jesus,
00:19:46.203 --> 00:19:48.639
That we're to love as we've been loved, and he teases it out into
00:19:48.639 --> 00:19:51.508
All these relationships.
00:19:51.508 --> 00:19:52.909
So the apostle paul says, "here's what it looks like: you
00:19:52.909 --> 00:19:55.545
Forgive one another, you accept one another, you care for one
00:19:55.545 --> 00:19:59.149
Another, you encourage one another, you submit to one
00:19:59.149 --> 00:20:01.852
Another, you serve one another."
00:20:01.852 --> 00:20:03.654
Jesus is like, "yeah, that's what i'm talking about.
00:20:03.654 --> 00:20:06.156
If you choose to lose your life for me the way i lost my life
00:20:06.156 --> 00:20:10.193
For the people around me-- didn't lose it like i can't find
00:20:10.193 --> 00:20:12.562
It, didn't lose it like i died, lost it because i chose to give
00:20:12.562 --> 00:20:17.367
It away."
00:20:17.367 --> 00:20:18.702
It's the story of the good samaritan.
00:20:18.702 --> 00:20:20.404
It's his instructions to go the second mile.
00:20:20.404 --> 00:20:23.440
He says, "the person who will give their life away the way i
00:20:23.440 --> 00:20:26.576
Gave my life away for me and for the good news," or in your
00:20:26.576 --> 00:20:30.814
English text, it says the gospel.
00:20:30.814 --> 00:20:32.883
And this is important as well.
00:20:32.883 --> 00:20:34.451
He says, "i want you to live your life in such a way that you
00:20:34.451 --> 00:20:38.155
Are scattering the seed of your life, that you're looking for
00:20:38.155 --> 00:20:41.091
Opportunities to do for other people, and then when it
00:20:41.091 --> 00:20:44.394
Happens, i want you to make sure that you connect the dots
00:20:44.394 --> 00:20:48.398
Between why you're doing what you're doing, why you're living
00:20:48.398 --> 00:20:50.500
The way you're living, and your appreciation for and your love
00:20:50.500 --> 00:20:53.403
For your father in heaven."
00:20:53.403 --> 00:20:55.972
That's the good news.
00:20:55.972 --> 00:20:57.474
Jesus said it this way in the sermon on the mount, "let your
00:20:57.474 --> 00:21:00.577
Life," or your light.
00:21:00.577 --> 00:21:02.612
Let your light, the light of your life, let your light shine
00:21:02.612 --> 00:21:05.482
In such a way that people see your faith?
00:21:05.482 --> 00:21:09.820
Uh-uh.
00:21:09.820 --> 00:21:11.154
That people see your good deeds
00:21:11.154 --> 00:21:14.157
And glorify your father in heaven.
00:21:14.157 --> 00:21:16.026
He says, "i want you to live your life in such a way that
00:21:16.026 --> 00:21:17.894
People are like, 'wow, wait, really?
00:21:17.894 --> 00:21:20.764
Thank you, i don't deserve.
00:21:20.764 --> 00:21:22.132
Really, thank you, thank you, thank you.
00:21:22.132 --> 00:21:23.467
Why are you doing this?'
00:21:23.467 --> 00:21:25.135
'because this is what god did for me.
00:21:25.135 --> 00:21:27.404
This is what we do.
00:21:27.404 --> 00:21:28.772
We're christians.
00:21:28.772 --> 00:21:30.107
We do for others what god through christ did for us.'"
00:21:30.107 --> 00:21:34.411
He says this is how you save your life.
00:21:34.411 --> 00:21:44.087
This is how i save myself from myself.
00:21:44.087 --> 00:21:48.492
This is how i save myself from becoming all about myself and
00:21:48.492 --> 00:21:53.063
Dying on the inside.
00:21:53.063 --> 00:21:56.166
This is how you save yourself from yourself.
00:21:56.166 --> 00:21:59.169
Now, this is so brilliant, and it's so true.
00:21:59.169 --> 00:22:05.208
And let me illustrate it in your life now.
00:22:05.208 --> 00:22:08.612
Isn't it true that your worst moments were
00:22:08.612 --> 00:22:11.481
All about you moments?
00:22:11.481 --> 00:22:15.752
Isn't it true that your greatest regrets were in the season
00:22:15.752 --> 00:22:21.024
Of you?
00:22:21.024 --> 00:22:22.392
Did you have a season of you?
00:22:22.392 --> 00:22:23.727
"it's all about me.
00:22:23.727 --> 00:22:25.095
I don't care what people say.
00:22:25.095 --> 00:22:26.430
I don't care what people think about me.
00:22:26.430 --> 00:22:27.798
It's all about me."
00:22:27.798 --> 00:22:29.132
It was all about you, all about you.
00:22:29.132 --> 00:22:30.500
Your worst, most selfish, self-centered, regret-filled
00:22:30.500 --> 00:22:32.402
Moments were the all about you moments, the season of you,
00:22:32.402 --> 00:22:36.540
Because you weren't doing for others.
00:22:36.540 --> 00:22:41.745
You were doing to others.
00:22:41.745 --> 00:22:45.248
And jesus is like, "that's what i'm trying to save you from.
00:22:45.248 --> 00:22:51.021
If you don't follow me and my ways, you will eat away at
00:22:51.021 --> 00:22:55.292
Yourself, and you will lose yourself, even if you
00:22:55.292 --> 00:22:58.328
Have everything."
00:22:58.328 --> 00:23:02.432
And the flip side is true as well.
00:23:02.432 --> 00:23:04.668
Isn't it true the fullest, like the happiest, the securest, the
00:23:04.668 --> 00:23:12.242
Most content, the most fearless people we know are the emptiest
00:23:12.242 --> 00:23:21.117
Of themselves?
00:23:21.117 --> 00:23:23.286
Yeah, the people that actually embrace, whether they knew it or
00:23:23.286 --> 00:23:28.391
Not, the others first, "what can i do for you?
00:23:28.391 --> 00:23:32.963
My stuff is your stuff.
00:23:32.963 --> 00:23:34.831
I'm gonna keep my hands wide open," way of jesus, the do what
00:23:34.831 --> 00:23:41.872
You wish you could do for one, do for one what you wish you
00:23:41.872 --> 00:23:44.241
Could do for everyone type of person.
00:23:44.241 --> 00:23:46.977
"i can't change everybody, but i--maybe i can change you.
00:23:46.977 --> 00:23:49.045
I can't do this for everybody, but i'm gonna certainly do it
00:23:49.045 --> 00:23:52.549
For you."
00:23:52.549 --> 00:23:55.919
The people who pause and give a part of their life away, aren't
00:23:55.919 --> 00:24:01.691
They the greatest?
00:24:01.691 --> 00:24:03.226
Aren't they the most inspiring?
00:24:03.226 --> 00:24:06.963
We save ourselves from ourselves by choosing.
00:24:06.963 --> 00:24:11.101
It's a choice.
00:24:11.101 --> 00:24:12.469
You're not gonna lose it like you lost your car keys or
00:24:12.469 --> 00:24:14.070
Your cellphone.
00:24:14.070 --> 00:24:15.405
It's a choice.
00:24:15.405 --> 00:24:16.706
We save ourselves from ourselves by choosing not to be all
00:24:16.706 --> 00:24:19.476
About ourselves.
00:24:19.476 --> 00:24:21.811
So, wrap it up.
00:24:21.811 --> 00:24:24.247
If the only things that concern you.
00:24:24.247 --> 00:24:30.153
If the only things that concern you and disturb you and just
00:24:30.153 --> 00:24:34.724
Keep you focused in terms of keeping your emotions all amped
00:24:34.724 --> 00:24:37.894
Up and ramped up, if all those things are just about you, you
00:24:37.894 --> 00:24:44.200
Have some work to do.
00:24:44.200 --> 00:24:50.440
You may be on the path that jesus is trying to wave you
00:24:54.611 --> 00:24:59.649
Off of.
00:24:59.649 --> 00:25:01.351
You may be on the path that leads to losing you.
00:25:01.351 --> 00:25:08.158
And you will not be happy, because you will be half empty.
00:25:08.158 --> 00:25:17.200
So this is a big deal.
00:25:17.200 --> 00:25:19.836
This--what breaks your heart?
00:25:19.836 --> 00:25:22.172
This is an important question, because it forces me to look in
00:25:22.172 --> 00:25:26.076
The mirror and say, "andy, is-- are the only things that really
00:25:26.076 --> 00:25:28.478
Break your heart things that have to do with you?
00:25:28.478 --> 00:25:30.180
You got work to do."
00:25:30.180 --> 00:25:32.515
And if there's something outside of me that breaks my heart,
00:25:32.515 --> 00:25:35.051
I need to pay attention to that.
00:25:35.051 --> 00:25:36.386
This is my invitation, as i said up front.
00:25:36.386 --> 00:25:38.521
This is my and this is your invitation to purpose.
00:25:38.521 --> 00:25:41.257
Even if it's not the ultimate thing, even if it's not some
00:25:41.257 --> 00:25:43.893
Global, cultural thing, even if it's a small thing, the moment
00:25:43.893 --> 00:25:48.331
You step out of your comfort zone to do something that might
00:25:48.331 --> 00:25:51.835
Positively impact even the smallest thing or a family or
00:25:51.835 --> 00:25:55.105
Individual, then you're on the right track.
00:25:55.105 --> 00:25:58.475
And, last thing, if you're not a christian, or you used to be,
00:25:58.475 --> 00:26:03.680
You're not a church person, let me--here's something that you
00:26:03.680 --> 00:26:07.217
May be thinking about.
00:26:07.217 --> 00:26:09.085
You may be thinking this, "well, finally.
00:26:09.085 --> 00:26:13.256
Finally.
00:26:13.256 --> 00:26:14.658
Well, it's--i didn't--i never thought i would actually hear a
00:26:14.658 --> 00:26:16.593
Pastor say this because i'm not one of you, but i thought that's
00:26:16.593 --> 00:26:19.763
How all of you were supposed to be.
00:26:19.763 --> 00:26:22.198
And that's not what i've experienced, so i'm glad you're
00:26:22.198 --> 00:26:24.367
Saying that, but do you really have to tell the christians to
00:26:24.367 --> 00:26:30.006
Try to act like christ?"
00:26:30.006 --> 00:26:35.745
Yes, and you're not wrong, and we certainly don't always get
00:26:35.745 --> 00:26:41.951
It right.
00:26:41.951 --> 00:26:44.454
But here's something for you to think about while we're thinking
00:26:44.454 --> 00:26:46.823
About what we're thinking about.
00:26:46.823 --> 00:26:49.459
We don't always get it right, but jesus did.
00:26:49.459 --> 00:26:52.762
He's like the return carriage on the old-fashioned typewriters,
00:26:52.762 --> 00:26:55.832
Like, "start over."
00:26:55.832 --> 00:26:58.134
He's the through line, he's the center line.
00:26:58.134 --> 00:27:00.236
The sermon on the mount, the teaching of jesus, this is what
00:27:00.236 --> 00:27:02.872
Brings us back to where we are today.
00:27:02.872 --> 00:27:06.076
So, you're not wrong.
00:27:06.076 --> 00:27:08.311
You're not wrong if you feel like you are justified in
00:27:08.311 --> 00:27:11.281
Holding us accountable to looking a little bit more
00:27:11.281 --> 00:27:14.084
Like jesus.
00:27:14.084 --> 00:27:16.886
But just remember, please, we don't get it right, but he did,
00:27:16.886 --> 00:27:20.824
And that makes jesus worth considering.
00:27:20.824 --> 00:27:25.695
That makes jesus worth following,
00:27:25.695 --> 00:27:30.200
In spite of some of us.
00:27:30.200 --> 00:27:32.936
So, between now and next time, we've got some things to think
00:27:32.936 --> 00:27:35.472
About, you've got some things to think about, and we will pick it
00:27:35.472 --> 00:27:39.209
Up right there next time when we conclude "a better question."
00:27:39.209 --> 00:27:45.915
Andy: hey, everybody, thank you so much for tuning in.
00:27:45.915 --> 00:27:48.017
If you'd like to watch this episode again or share it with a
00:27:48.017 --> 00:27:50.820
Friend, head on over to the website at the bottom of
00:27:50.820 --> 00:27:52.956
The screen.
00:27:52.956 --> 00:27:54.324
The website is the best place for you to find other "your
00:27:54.324 --> 00:27:56.459
Move" episodes, access additional resources, and learn
00:27:56.459 --> 00:27:59.696
More about our mission to engage culture with the teaching of
00:27:59.696 --> 00:28:02.899
Jesus because we're convinced following jesus will make your
00:28:02.899 --> 00:28:05.969
Life better and make the world a better place.
00:28:05.969 --> 00:28:08.805
And now it's your move.
00:28:08.805 --> 00:28:10.807
[music]
00:28:10.807 --> 00:28:20.183
...
00:28:23.419 --> 00:28:23.419

Andy Stanley - A Better Question (Part 2)

January 10, 2026 | 28:29

Closed captions

Share