Andy Stanley - Mean People (Part 2)

May 29, 2026 | 28:29

Your Move with Andy Stanley — to help people make better decisions and live with fewer regrets.

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Your Move with Andy Stanley | Andy Stanley - Mean People (Part 2) | May 29, 2026
  • ...
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  • Andy stanley: hi, everybody, welcome to "your move," where we
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  • Help you make better decisions and live with fewer regrets.
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  • I'm andy stanley and i'll be your guide.
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  • Now, do you know any mean people?
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  • Have you ever tried to get even with someone who's mean, only to
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  • Discover you're being mean?
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  • You're becoming just like someone you don't even like.
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  • Well, there is a better way and that's what we're talkin' about
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  • Today right here on "your move."
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  • ♪♪♪
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  • Andy stanley: we are in part two of a series entitled "mean
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  • People," and specifically, what to do about them.
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  • "mean people and what to do about them."
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  • And just so you know, i realize that you have been mean.
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  • Perhaps somebody is gonna hear or watch this message, i hope
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  • Not, and you'll come to mind.
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  • I hope that's not the case.
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  • We've all had seasons in our lives when we've been the
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  • Mean people.
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  • And mostly when we get together, we're talking about how to live
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  • A life in such a way that we're not the mean people.
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  • So we usually focus on how to become better people, but in
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  • This series we're talking specifically about how to
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  • Respond to or what to do about the mean people in our lives.
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  • Not just the folks who bug us.
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  • We all have people who bug us.
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  • Specifically, these are the mean people.
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  • These are the people who are deceptive.
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  • They're controlling.
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  • They're just unkind.
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  • They're unpredictable.
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  • They're manipulative.
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  • To be specific, i'm not talkin' about somebody who's physically
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  • Or sexually abusive.
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  • That's different, that's illegal.
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  • This is just the mean people.
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  • And it's important to talk about this and it's important to think
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  • Through how we're gonna respond, because if we're--if we don't
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  • Have a plan, if we're not prepared, if we're not
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  • Proactive, well, you know what happens.
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  • What happens to the mean people in our lives?
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  • The mean people in our lives, they actually gain a measure of
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  • Control over our lives.
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  • And before we know it, we are being mean right back even if we
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  • Don't mean to.
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  • In fact, it's almost as if we have no choice because, and you
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  • Know this, mean can make you mean, because mean people keep
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  • Us off-balance.
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  • And if somebody walks up to you and pushes you and you're
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  • Off-balance, what do you do?
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  • Well, you have no choice but to compensate.
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  • When we're off-balance, we're forced to compensate.
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  • So when you're around these people, you always feel a little
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  • Bit off-balance.
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  • In fact, when you're around these people, other people who
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  • Know you might even say to you, "you know, when you're around
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  • Him, when you're with her, i notice when you're together,
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  • You're not the same person you are everywhere else.
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  • You seem to become a different person."
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  • It's because that person has kinda thrown you off-balance.
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  • And obviously, or it seems intuitively, our only choice is
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  • To respond in like kind.
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  • I told you the first part of a story last week.
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  • We have an 80-year-old friend, sandra and i do, named alice.
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  • And alice--sandra became her legal power--financial power of
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  • Attorney because we needed to move alice out of her home into
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  • Assisted living.
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  • And sandra went to jump through all the hoops to become legal
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  • Power of attorney, and we eventually got alice moved, but
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  • During that process, alice had invited a friend to move in with
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  • Her who had fallen on hard times.
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  • This guy's in his late 60s, living out of his car.
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  • And out of the goodness of her heart, she said, "well, you can
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  • Stay with me a few months until you, you know, kinda get
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  • Yourself together."
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  • And we were warned that if he moved in, we would have a hard
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  • Time getting him out, but when i met this guy, his name's roger,
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  • He seemed like such a nice guy, and he was actually helpful with
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  • Alice and helpful with the garage sale.
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  • So we eventually get her house cleaned out.
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  • Some of you heard this story last time.
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  • Get her house cleaned out.
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  • We put the house on the market, but he won't move out.
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  • And we gave him a deadline, he won't move out, and we were so
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  • Worried he was going to undermine the closing.
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  • In fact, as i shared last time, he actually tried to do it.
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  • The point being it's difficult not to be mean to mean people.
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  • It's difficult not to be unkind to people who've been unkind
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  • To us.
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  • It's difficult to be sensitive to insensitive people.
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  • And again, the golden rule is, like, right out the window,
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  • Isn't it, when it comes to mean people.
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  • Now it's the iron rule.
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  • It's the do unto others as they have done unto you, or as they
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  • Are doing unto you, or even worse, right?
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  • But of course, and we talked about this, the problem with
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  • Getting back at the mean people or the problem with trying to
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  • Get even with mean people is that it actually makes
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  • Things worse.
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  • Because the problem with getting even is that it makes us even
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  • With someone we don't really even like.
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  • It makes us like someone that we actually dislike.
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  • So the question we're asking in this series, and we began, you
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  • Know, unpacking the answer last time, is, what do we do?
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  • I mean, you can't just ignore these people.
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  • That actually empowers them.
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  • And eventually you're gonna break, right?
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  • Eventually you're gonna break.
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  • You're gonna act like them or worse, which actually gives them
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  • More power over you.
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  • There's actually a third option.
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  • You don't have to ignore them.
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  • You don't have to become like them.
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  • There's a third option that actually takes away some of
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  • Their power and it actually positions us to keep our
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  • Frustration from overflowing into other relationships
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  • Around us.
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  • And this third option protects us from falling into that trap
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  • As well.
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  • Jesus taught it, of course, and jesus modeled it.
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  • In fact, he was the ultimate model, but abigail modeled it
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  • As well.
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  • And abigail is a character in the old testament that many
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  • People don't know about and she's part of sort of the
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  • Backstory of the story of david.
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  • Most of us are familiar with king david.
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  • If you grew up in church, maybe you know the story of shepherd
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  • Boy david.
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  • But this story takes place in the season of his life where he
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  • Is fugitive david.
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  • When he was a teenager, as most of us know, he marched down into
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  • The valley of elah.
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  • He killed goliath with a slingshot.
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  • In that moment, he became a national hero.
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  • So king saul, the king of israel, brought him in close,
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  • Actually made him part of his family because he was a national
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  • Hero, and he was a leader, and he had influence.
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  • And king saul was smart enough to know you keep your enemies--
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  • You keep your friends close and you keep your enemies close
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  • As well.
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  • And david, he realized, was a bit of a threat to his power and
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  • His influence in israel.
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  • And then he gets word that a rogue prophet had actually gone
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  • To david's house when he was a little boy and anointed him as
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  • The next king of israel.
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  • And if you are the current king, of course that's a problem
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  • Because you want your son to become the next king.
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  • So now david is a threat to saul's dynasty, so he tries to
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  • Kill david.
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  • He eventually banishes him.
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  • David becomes a fugitive.
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  • He gathers other fugitives around him.
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  • Before long, he's got about 600 men, their wives, their
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  • Girlfriends, their--you know, their kids kind of traipsing
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  • Along behind him.
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  • He's got a small army, but he's a fugitive from the law.
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  • And he's angry.
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  • He's angry with king saul and he's angry with the
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  • Circumstances, but he can't get to saul, so he just kinda
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  • Carries this seething anger everywhere he goes.
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  • And that's what brings us to the story and this is
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  • Where we meet abigail.
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  • So i'm going to catch you up a little bit with the story and
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  • Then we'll continue from there.
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  • Here's how the story begins, 1 samuel chapter 25.
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  • Samuel was essentially david's biographer.
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  • "a certain man in maon, who had property there in carmel, was
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  • Very wealthy.
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  • He had a thousand goats and three thousand sheep, which he
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  • Was shearing in carmel.
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  • And his name was nabal."
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  • Now, during sheep shearing season, men and families who had
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  • A lot of sheep discovered just how much wealthier they
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  • Had become.
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  • This was like payday.
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  • This is an annual financial report.
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  • "his name was nabal and his wife's name was abigail.
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  • And she was an intelligent and beautiful woman, but her husband
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  • Was harsh and mean," there's our word, "in his dealings."
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  • So david and his men hear about the fact that nabal is having
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  • Sheep shearing in carmel and realizes nabal's about to become
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  • Even wealthier, so david sends ten of his men to carmel to meet
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  • With nabal to say, "hey, would you be willing to share some of
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  • Your wealth and some of your extra wealth, some of your extra
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  • With me and my men?"
  • 00:07:47.485 --> 00:07:49.320
  • And why would david feel like he could make that request?
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  • Well, that's what the message to nabal--the message from david's
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  • Men to nabal explains that.
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  • Here's what they said.
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  • They said, "nabal, when your shepherds were with us," out in
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  • The fields for months and months and months, "when your
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  • Shepherds were with us, we did not mistreat them, and the whole
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  • Time they were at carmel nothing of theirs was missing."
  • 00:08:06.904 --> 00:08:10.508
  • In other words, our men could've taken whatever they wanted
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  • To take.
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  • We could've taken women.
  • 00:08:14.512 --> 00:08:15.880
  • We could've taken sheep.
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  • We could have mistreated your shepherds.
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  • But instead, you can talk to them, nothing went missing.
  • 00:08:18.583 --> 00:08:21.319
  • In other words, your profit is due in part to our protection,
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  • So this seemed kind of reasonable.
  • 00:08:26.324 --> 00:08:27.692
  • Hey, would you share with us your profits, because, you know,
  • 00:08:27.692 --> 00:08:30.194
  • Your profits are due in part to our protection.
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  • Nabal's response?
  • 00:08:32.797 --> 00:08:34.799
  • He was rude.
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  • He said this to david's messengers, "who is this david?"
  • 00:08:36.133 --> 00:08:38.769
  • Now, he knew who he was.
  • 00:08:38.769 --> 00:08:40.104
  • "who is this david?
  • 00:08:40.104 --> 00:08:42.006
  • Who is who is this son of jesse who's broken away from the king?
  • 00:08:42.006 --> 00:08:46.210
  • He's just a bandit.
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  • He's a fugitive.
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  • He's a nobody.
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  • He's an outlaw.
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  • I did not ask for his help.
  • 00:08:51.616 --> 00:08:52.950
  • I didn't need his help and i don't owe him anything.
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  • And you can go back and tell him that."
  • 00:08:55.419 --> 00:08:58.623
  • "so david's men, they turned around and they went back.
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  • And when they arrived, they reported every word."
  • 00:09:01.759 --> 00:09:05.062
  • And if you were with us last time, you'll remember
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  • David's response.
  • 00:09:06.797 --> 00:09:08.132
  • "david said to his men, 'each of you strap on your sword!'
  • 00:09:08.132 --> 00:09:12.303
  • So they did, and david strapped his on as well.
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  • And about four hundred men, about four hundred men went up
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  • With david."
  • 00:09:18.676 --> 00:09:20.044
  • They were headed out of the mountains to carmel.
  • 00:09:20.044 --> 00:09:22.446
  • Now, this 400 men, this was an overreaction, as we said, of
  • 00:09:22.446 --> 00:09:25.416
  • Epic proportion.
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  • This was going to be a massacre.
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  • And as he rides along, he does what many of us have done many,
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  • Many times.
  • 00:09:33.090 --> 00:09:34.425
  • As he rides along, he kinda builds up a head of steam.
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  • He begins justifying to himself what he wasn't 100% sure he
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  • Should be doing.
  • 00:09:40.431 --> 00:09:42.533
  • "it's been useless," he mutters to himself.
  • 00:09:42.533 --> 00:09:44.435
  • "it's been useless--all my watching over this fellow's
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  • Property in the wilderness so that nothing of his
  • 00:09:47.004 --> 00:09:49.707
  • Was missing."
  • 00:09:49.707 --> 00:09:51.042
  • And what has he done?
  • 00:09:51.042 --> 00:09:52.410
  • How has he responded to me?
  • 00:09:52.410 --> 00:09:53.744
  • "he has paid me back evil for good."
  • 00:09:53.744 --> 00:09:57.248
  • And then god--you know, david evokes god's name and invites
  • 00:09:57.248 --> 00:10:00.918
  • God into the equation, "may god deal with me," he says.
  • 00:10:00.918 --> 00:10:04.422
  • "may god deal with me.
  • 00:10:04.422 --> 00:10:05.790
  • May god deal with david, be it ever so severely, if by morning
  • 00:10:05.790 --> 00:10:09.293
  • I leave alive one male of all who belong to him!"
  • 00:10:09.293 --> 00:10:13.764
  • I'm going to kill his servants, his friends, his sons, and then
  • 00:10:13.764 --> 00:10:18.469
  • I'm going to kill him.
  • 00:10:18.469 --> 00:10:20.304
  • Now again, you read this story and you're like, "okay, so
  • 00:10:20.304 --> 00:10:22.673
  • David, he didn't share with you.
  • 00:10:22.673 --> 00:10:24.575
  • Is this what you do?"
  • 00:10:24.575 --> 00:10:27.311
  • Well, if we know anything or if you know anything about david's
  • 00:10:27.311 --> 00:10:29.780
  • History, this is what he did.
  • 00:10:29.780 --> 00:10:32.116
  • So he was riding along.
  • 00:10:32.116 --> 00:10:33.551
  • He's hurt. he's angry.
  • 00:10:33.551 --> 00:10:34.885
  • He's powering up. it's gonna be evil for evil.
  • 00:10:34.885 --> 00:10:36.921
  • He's really channeling, i think, his frustration with king saul,
  • 00:10:36.921 --> 00:10:40.324
  • But king saul is untouchable.
  • 00:10:40.324 --> 00:10:42.026
  • But he's found somebody he can take his anger out on, and
  • 00:10:42.026 --> 00:10:46.230
  • That's pretty much where we left off last time with the story, so
  • 00:10:46.230 --> 00:10:49.467
  • We'll continue from there.
  • 00:10:49.467 --> 00:10:50.835
  • Meanwhile, meanwhile back in carmel, here's what happened.
  • 00:10:50.835 --> 00:10:54.572
  • "one of the servants, one of the servants," nabal's servants,
  • 00:10:54.572 --> 00:10:58.142
  • "told abigail, nabal's wife, 'david sent messengers--'" you
  • 00:10:58.142 --> 00:11:01.912
  • Weren't here, we find out later.
  • 00:11:01.912 --> 00:11:03.247
  • You weren't here, but let me tell you what happened.
  • 00:11:03.247 --> 00:11:04.682
  • "david sent messengers from the wilderness to give our master
  • 00:11:04.682 --> 00:11:08.152
  • His greetings, but our master hurled insults at them.
  • 00:11:08.152 --> 00:11:12.356
  • Yet, yet abigail, these men, david's men, these men were so
  • 00:11:12.356 --> 00:11:16.227
  • Good to us.
  • 00:11:16.227 --> 00:11:17.595
  • They did not mistreat us, the whole time we were out in the
  • 00:11:17.595 --> 00:11:19.530
  • Fields near them nothing went missing.
  • 00:11:19.530 --> 00:11:23.100
  • Night and day, night and day they were like a wall around us.
  • 00:11:23.100 --> 00:11:27.605
  • They protected us the whole time we were herding our sheep
  • 00:11:27.605 --> 00:11:31.008
  • Near them."
  • 00:11:31.008 --> 00:11:32.343
  • And then she says, "abigail, think it over.
  • 00:11:32.343 --> 00:11:34.578
  • I want you to think it over and see what you can do, because
  • 00:11:34.578 --> 00:11:37.014
  • Disaster is hanging over our master and his whole household."
  • 00:11:37.014 --> 00:11:42.953
  • And then i think she leans in.
  • 00:11:42.953 --> 00:11:44.321
  • She doesn't say this very loud.
  • 00:11:44.321 --> 00:11:45.656
  • She whispers in abigail's ear, "he is such a wicked man.
  • 00:11:45.656 --> 00:11:49.827
  • He's such a wicked man that nobody, nobody can talk to him."
  • 00:11:49.827 --> 00:11:54.465
  • "so abigail acted quickly."
  • 00:11:54.465 --> 00:11:58.102
  • Now, here's what she does.
  • 00:11:58.102 --> 00:11:59.436
  • It's kind of interesting.
  • 00:11:59.436 --> 00:12:00.805
  • She assembles a caravan of food donkeys.
  • 00:12:00.805 --> 00:12:04.375
  • Okay, you're familiar with food trucks.
  • 00:12:04.375 --> 00:12:06.110
  • Okay, food donkeys, caravan of food donkeys.
  • 00:12:06.110 --> 00:12:08.445
  • She gets all these donkeys, ties them together, and then she
  • 00:12:08.445 --> 00:12:11.749
  • Loads them up with food.
  • 00:12:11.749 --> 00:12:13.083
  • Food donkeys.
  • 00:12:13.083 --> 00:12:14.451
  • There were hundreds of loaves of bread, figs, cakes, wine.
  • 00:12:14.451 --> 00:12:18.522
  • She just loads 'em up.
  • 00:12:18.522 --> 00:12:19.890
  • She knows she has about 400 male mouths to feed.
  • 00:12:19.890 --> 00:12:22.760
  • And then she told her servant-- this was so smart.
  • 00:12:22.760 --> 00:12:25.229
  • "she said to her servants, 'you go on ahead, you head out toward
  • 00:12:25.229 --> 00:12:28.265
  • The plain; i'll follow you.'
  • 00:12:28.265 --> 00:12:30.768
  • But she did not tell her husband nabal what she was up to."
  • 00:12:30.768 --> 00:12:34.505
  • Meanwhile, coming down out of the mountains, here comes david
  • 00:12:34.505 --> 00:12:37.508
  • And his 400 men armed for battle, and he's just mumbling
  • 00:12:37.508 --> 00:12:41.846
  • To himself, building up this head of steam, justifying--
  • 00:12:41.846 --> 00:12:45.516
  • Building up justification for what he's about to do.
  • 00:12:45.516 --> 00:12:47.885
  • And as he comes out of this ravine, the text tells us, he
  • 00:12:47.885 --> 00:12:50.287
  • Comes out of this ravine onto this big, wide-open plain, and
  • 00:12:50.287 --> 00:12:54.091
  • What does he see?
  • 00:12:54.091 --> 00:12:55.426
  • A caravan of food donkeys.
  • 00:12:55.426 --> 00:12:57.895
  • And in the front is this beautiful woman, and it totally
  • 00:12:57.895 --> 00:13:01.799
  • Messes up his mood.
  • 00:13:01.799 --> 00:13:03.434
  • You ever had that happen?
  • 00:13:03.434 --> 00:13:04.768
  • Like, you've got your speech perfectly planned, and you've
  • 00:13:04.768 --> 00:13:06.904
  • Kind of built up a head of steam, and you're gonna go home
  • 00:13:06.904 --> 00:13:08.639
  • Or you're gonna walk down to the other office, you've got it all
  • 00:13:08.639 --> 00:13:11.175
  • Worked out, and then somebody apologizes or somebody does
  • 00:13:11.175 --> 00:13:13.944
  • Something so nice for you.
  • 00:13:13.944 --> 00:13:15.312
  • It's like, "ugh!"
  • 00:13:15.312 --> 00:13:16.647
  • It's like how--you know, i was so mad.
  • 00:13:16.647 --> 00:13:18.015
  • I was perfectly mad.
  • 00:13:18.015 --> 00:13:19.984
  • I was perfectly mad to deliver this message.
  • 00:13:19.984 --> 00:13:22.086
  • So here comes david and he's spent all this time, he's got
  • 00:13:22.086 --> 00:13:24.555
  • These guys, and here's the--you know, the food caravan.
  • 00:13:24.555 --> 00:13:28.092
  • Ruins his mood.
  • 00:13:28.092 --> 00:13:29.426
  • I mean, you just can't stay mad with that goin' on.
  • 00:13:29.426 --> 00:13:31.061
  • So here's what the text says, "when abigail saw david, she
  • 00:13:31.061 --> 00:13:36.000
  • Quickly got off her donkey and she bowed down before david with
  • 00:13:36.000 --> 00:13:39.803
  • Her face to the ground," and this is so powerful.
  • 00:13:39.803 --> 00:13:45.009
  • She begins to speak to david.
  • 00:13:45.009 --> 00:13:48.045
  • She begins to speak to david as if he is already the man that
  • 00:13:48.045 --> 00:13:52.116
  • She hopes he will become.
  • 00:13:52.116 --> 00:13:55.352
  • Anyway, here's what she does that's so powerful.
  • 00:13:55.352 --> 00:13:57.521
  • "she fell at his feet and she said: 'pardon your servant, my
  • 00:13:57.521 --> 00:14:00.090
  • Lord, and let me speak to you.'"
  • 00:14:00.090 --> 00:14:01.725
  • In other words, "just give me a minute."
  • 00:14:01.725 --> 00:14:03.394
  • "and please hear what your servant has to say.
  • 00:14:03.394 --> 00:14:06.830
  • Please," she says, "pay no attention to my husband, my
  • 00:14:06.830 --> 00:14:11.001
  • Lord, that wicked man nabal.
  • 00:14:11.001 --> 00:14:12.836
  • He is just like his name--his name means fool, and folly goes
  • 00:14:12.836 --> 00:14:16.607
  • With him."
  • 00:14:16.607 --> 00:14:17.942
  • So, you're not wrong about my husband, okay?
  • 00:14:17.942 --> 00:14:19.610
  • And as for me, your servant, i wasn't there when your ten men
  • 00:14:19.610 --> 00:14:24.715
  • Showed up and made the request.
  • 00:14:24.715 --> 00:14:26.083
  • If i'd been there, i may have been able to influence
  • 00:14:26.083 --> 00:14:28.519
  • My husband.
  • 00:14:28.519 --> 00:14:29.887
  • I wasn't there.
  • 00:14:29.887 --> 00:14:31.221
  • This wasn't my fault.
  • 00:14:31.221 --> 00:14:32.589
  • Referring to the ten men that david had sent ahead of time.
  • 00:14:32.589 --> 00:14:34.959
  • Then she--then here she goes.
  • 00:14:34.959 --> 00:14:36.360
  • This is so powerful, and here's what she says, "and now, and
  • 00:14:36.360 --> 00:14:39.797
  • Now, my lord, as surely as the lord your god lives and as you
  • 00:14:39.797 --> 00:14:44.068
  • Live, since the lord--since the lord has kept you from
  • 00:14:44.068 --> 00:14:49.139
  • Bloodshed, since the lord has kept you from avenging yourself
  • 00:14:49.139 --> 00:14:52.943
  • With your own hands."
  • 00:14:52.943 --> 00:14:54.345
  • And david's like, "he did?"
  • 00:14:54.345 --> 00:14:56.080
  • She's like, "yes, he did.
  • 00:14:56.080 --> 00:14:57.481
  • He did."
  • 00:14:57.481 --> 00:14:58.849
  • In other words, "david, you're not--c'mon, you're not the type
  • 00:14:58.849 --> 00:15:01.251
  • Of person that would avenge yourself on a defenseless
  • 00:15:01.251 --> 00:15:05.456
  • Person, are you?"
  • 00:15:05.456 --> 00:15:06.824
  • Well, i guess i'm not.
  • 00:15:06.824 --> 00:15:08.158
  • And then she gives him credit again for being even better than
  • 00:15:08.158 --> 00:15:10.294
  • He was about to be.
  • 00:15:10.294 --> 00:15:11.662
  • She continues, "and let this gift, which your servant has
  • 00:15:11.662 --> 00:15:15.199
  • Brought to my lord, be given to the men who follow you."
  • 00:15:15.199 --> 00:15:18.936
  • Again, this just completely ruins his plans.
  • 00:15:18.936 --> 00:15:21.005
  • I mean, how do you justify slaughter and pillage when
  • 00:15:21.005 --> 00:15:23.674
  • Somebody's bringing you what you were gonna steal?
  • 00:15:23.674 --> 00:15:25.976
  • "the lord your god, the lord your god will certainly make a
  • 00:15:25.976 --> 00:15:30.114
  • Lasting dynasty for my lord, because you fight the
  • 00:15:30.114 --> 00:15:35.285
  • Lord's battles."
  • 00:15:35.285 --> 00:15:36.653
  • He's like, "i do?"
  • 00:15:36.653 --> 00:15:38.022
  • Yes, you do.
  • 00:15:38.022 --> 00:15:39.356
  • You fight the lord's battles.
  • 00:15:39.356 --> 00:15:40.724
  • You don't have to fight your own battles, david.
  • 00:15:40.724 --> 00:15:42.693
  • "and no wrongdoing, and no wrongdoing will be found in you
  • 00:15:42.693 --> 00:15:46.964
  • As long as you live."
  • 00:15:46.964 --> 00:15:48.866
  • It won't?
  • 00:15:48.866 --> 00:15:50.200
  • No, it won't.
  • 00:15:50.200 --> 00:15:51.568
  • "even though--" and then she refers to king saul, because
  • 00:15:51.568 --> 00:15:54.538
  • Everybody knew the story.
  • 00:15:54.538 --> 00:15:55.906
  • Everybody knew the background of why david was a fugitive.
  • 00:15:55.906 --> 00:15:58.809
  • "even though someone is pursuing you to take your life, the life
  • 00:15:58.809 --> 00:16:03.113
  • Of my lord will be--" this is-- she uses some interesting
  • 00:16:03.113 --> 00:16:05.716
  • Hebrew imagery.
  • 00:16:05.716 --> 00:16:07.084
  • "the life of my lord will be bound securely in the bundle of
  • 00:16:07.084 --> 00:16:11.655
  • The living by the lord your god," which is like, what?
  • 00:16:11.655 --> 00:16:14.725
  • Here's basically what she's saying.
  • 00:16:14.725 --> 00:16:16.560
  • Even though someone is trying to steal your life, your life, your
  • 00:16:16.560 --> 00:16:21.031
  • Life is tucked away securely and safely in god's wallet.
  • 00:16:21.031 --> 00:16:25.235
  • Your life is hidden in the bottom of a lady's large purse.
  • 00:16:25.235 --> 00:16:29.673
  • It's safe.
  • 00:16:29.673 --> 00:16:31.008
  • No one will ever be able to find it.
  • 00:16:31.008 --> 00:16:33.777
  • Then, this is my favorite part, then she takes him back to
  • 00:16:33.777 --> 00:16:38.882
  • 15-year-old david, his 15-year-old self, when he
  • 00:16:38.882 --> 00:16:43.687
  • Faced goliath.
  • 00:16:43.687 --> 00:16:45.222
  • In fact, perhaps, as we talked about last time, david's sword
  • 00:16:45.222 --> 00:16:48.725
  • Was goliath's sword.
  • 00:16:48.725 --> 00:16:50.127
  • He had actually taken it from a priest earlier, just a few
  • 00:16:50.127 --> 00:16:52.629
  • Chapters earlier.
  • 00:16:52.629 --> 00:16:53.964
  • Perhaps she saw goliath's sword strapped to his back or strapped
  • 00:16:53.964 --> 00:16:57.234
  • Across the back of his mule.
  • 00:16:57.234 --> 00:16:58.735
  • Maybe that's what gave her this idea.
  • 00:16:58.735 --> 00:17:00.904
  • Here's what she says, "but the lives--" this is so great.
  • 00:17:00.904 --> 00:17:04.908
  • "but the lives of your enemies he," god, "will hurl away as
  • 00:17:04.908 --> 00:17:09.913
  • From the pocket of a sling."
  • 00:17:09.913 --> 00:17:12.716
  • David, remember.
  • 00:17:12.716 --> 00:17:16.120
  • Remember god's past faithfulness.
  • 00:17:16.120 --> 00:17:18.288
  • Remember when you marched down into or walked down into the
  • 00:17:18.288 --> 00:17:21.058
  • Valley of elah to face goliath?
  • 00:17:21.058 --> 00:17:22.626
  • You weren't a warrior.
  • 00:17:22.626 --> 00:17:24.294
  • You weren't equipped for battle.
  • 00:17:24.294 --> 00:17:26.363
  • You didn't have a sword.
  • 00:17:26.363 --> 00:17:28.265
  • You just did what you felt like god wanted you to do.
  • 00:17:28.265 --> 00:17:31.568
  • And do you remember how god came to your rescue?
  • 00:17:31.568 --> 00:17:33.604
  • Do you remember how god defended you?
  • 00:17:33.604 --> 00:17:35.272
  • Remember those days?
  • 00:17:35.272 --> 00:17:36.607
  • David, you don't need to get even.
  • 00:17:36.607 --> 00:17:39.409
  • You have no need to return evil for evil, for the lord your god
  • 00:17:39.409 --> 00:17:45.883
  • Is with you.
  • 00:17:45.883 --> 00:17:47.284
  • And then she speaks to his future.
  • 00:17:47.284 --> 00:17:50.254
  • And essentially, she asked the question that we ask all the
  • 00:17:50.254 --> 00:17:52.856
  • Time around here.
  • 00:17:52.856 --> 00:17:54.224
  • She asked the question without asking it directly.
  • 00:17:54.224 --> 00:17:56.193
  • Essentially this next part, she says, "david, what story do you
  • 00:17:56.193 --> 00:18:01.899
  • Wanna tell when this is nothing but a story that you tell?"
  • 00:18:01.899 --> 00:18:07.004
  • Years from now when you're looking back on this season of
  • 00:18:07.004 --> 00:18:09.740
  • Your life as a fugitive, because one day you're gonna be the
  • 00:18:09.740 --> 00:18:11.608
  • King, god's gonna keep his promise to you, but when you
  • 00:18:11.608 --> 00:18:14.378
  • Look back on this season, what story do you wanna tell?
  • 00:18:14.378 --> 00:18:18.448
  • Here's her version, "when the lord has fulfilled for my lord
  • 00:18:18.448 --> 00:18:23.587
  • Every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed
  • 00:18:23.587 --> 00:18:26.924
  • Him ruler or king over israel, my lord--" this is so great.
  • 00:18:26.924 --> 00:18:32.496
  • "my lord will not have on his conscience the staggering burden
  • 00:18:32.496 --> 00:18:38.101
  • Of needless bloodshed of having avenged himself."
  • 00:18:38.101 --> 00:18:44.308
  • David, isn't this the better story?
  • 00:18:44.308 --> 00:18:49.846
  • Don't you want to look back on this season and realize that you
  • 00:18:49.846 --> 00:18:53.517
  • Stepped back instead of taking matters into your own hand?
  • 00:18:53.517 --> 00:18:57.854
  • And of course, david comes to his senses.
  • 00:18:57.854 --> 00:19:01.158
  • He's about to act like somebody he doesn't even like.
  • 00:19:01.158 --> 00:19:05.095
  • "and david said to abigail, 'praise be to the lord, the god
  • 00:19:05.095 --> 00:19:08.532
  • Of israel, who has sent you today to meet me.
  • 00:19:08.532 --> 00:19:11.868
  • May you be blessed for your good judgment.'"
  • 00:19:11.868 --> 00:19:15.205
  • In other words, "you had good judgment.
  • 00:19:15.205 --> 00:19:16.540
  • I didn't.
  • 00:19:16.540 --> 00:19:17.908
  • I'm thanking god for your good judgment and i'm so grateful it
  • 00:19:17.908 --> 00:19:20.310
  • Intersected with the decision i was about to make."
  • 00:19:20.310 --> 00:19:22.613
  • "for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging
  • 00:19:22.613 --> 00:19:26.116
  • Myself with my own hands.
  • 00:19:26.116 --> 00:19:28.051
  • I have heard your words and i'm granting you your request."
  • 00:19:28.051 --> 00:19:34.224
  • Now, at some point we all need an abigail in our lives,
  • 00:19:34.224 --> 00:19:39.863
  • Don't we?
  • 00:19:39.863 --> 00:19:41.231
  • We all need somebody who can talk us down.
  • 00:19:41.231 --> 00:19:43.600
  • We all need somebody who has access to us.
  • 00:19:43.600 --> 00:19:45.602
  • We all need somebody who feels permission to delve into those
  • 00:19:45.602 --> 00:19:48.538
  • Areas of our lives that we oftentimes just keep people
  • 00:19:48.538 --> 00:19:51.241
  • Away from.
  • 00:19:51.241 --> 00:19:52.709
  • We all need an abigail.
  • 00:19:52.709 --> 00:19:55.846
  • And when she shows up or when he shows up in our lives, we should
  • 00:19:55.846 --> 00:19:59.449
  • Be wise enough to listen.
  • 00:19:59.449 --> 00:20:02.719
  • In fact, some of us, if we're honest, one of our greatest
  • 00:20:02.719 --> 00:20:06.223
  • Regrets could have been avoided if we had listened to the
  • 00:20:06.223 --> 00:20:10.127
  • Abigail in our life.
  • 00:20:10.127 --> 00:20:12.529
  • And then, and i was tempted to skip the rest of the story
  • 00:20:12.529 --> 00:20:14.965
  • Because it's, you know, it's a little bit storybook, but hey,
  • 00:20:14.965 --> 00:20:17.668
  • This is how the story ends and this is how things went down
  • 00:20:17.668 --> 00:20:20.570
  • Back then.
  • 00:20:20.570 --> 00:20:21.905
  • "when abigail went to nabal, he was in the house holding a
  • 00:20:21.905 --> 00:20:24.441
  • Banquet like that of a king," 'cause he's just made all--he's
  • 00:20:24.441 --> 00:20:26.843
  • Got all this extra wealth, all this extra.
  • 00:20:26.843 --> 00:20:28.845
  • "he was in high spirits," he's so happy, "and very drunk.
  • 00:20:28.845 --> 00:20:32.949
  • And so she told him nothing at all until daybreak."
  • 00:20:32.949 --> 00:20:35.852
  • So she doesn't go back and say, "you really owe me big time,"
  • 00:20:35.852 --> 00:20:38.922
  • Because she just waits.
  • 00:20:38.922 --> 00:20:40.424
  • "then in the morning, when nabal was sober, his wife told him
  • 00:20:40.424 --> 00:20:43.660
  • Everything that had happened, and his heart failed him," when
  • 00:20:43.660 --> 00:20:46.563
  • He realized how close he came to being executed and losing
  • 00:20:46.563 --> 00:20:49.700
  • Everything he had, "and he became like a stone.
  • 00:20:49.700 --> 00:20:53.103
  • And then about ten days later, the lord struck nabal and
  • 00:20:53.103 --> 00:20:57.741
  • He died."
  • 00:20:57.741 --> 00:20:59.076
  • And then the storybook ending, "then david sent word to
  • 00:20:59.076 --> 00:21:02.979
  • Abigail, asking her to become his wife."
  • 00:21:02.979 --> 00:21:06.316
  • Like, really?
  • 00:21:06.316 --> 00:21:07.651
  • Yeah, this is just how things happened back then.
  • 00:21:07.651 --> 00:21:09.252
  • What do you think she did?
  • 00:21:09.252 --> 00:21:10.587
  • "abigail quickly got on a donkey and, attended by her five female
  • 00:21:10.587 --> 00:21:16.259
  • Servants, went with david's messengers and became his wife."
  • 00:21:16.259 --> 00:21:20.664
  • And of course, they live happily ever after.
  • 00:21:20.664 --> 00:21:24.835
  • The end.
  • 00:21:24.835 --> 00:21:26.169
  • So--yeah, i made that part up.
  • 00:21:26.169 --> 00:21:28.572
  • Okay, so here's what we have, and this is where this begins to
  • 00:21:28.572 --> 00:21:31.108
  • Interface with all of our lives, either now or in the future.
  • 00:21:31.108 --> 00:21:34.778
  • Three characters, three different responses, but only
  • 00:21:34.778 --> 00:21:38.648
  • One hero.
  • 00:21:38.648 --> 00:21:39.983
  • Nabal, david, and abigail; evil for good, evil for evil, this is
  • 00:21:39.983 --> 00:21:45.655
  • Where we're tempted to live, and then good for evil.
  • 00:21:45.655 --> 00:21:50.293
  • As we said last time, as you get to know nabal, he's pretty
  • 00:21:50.293 --> 00:21:52.696
  • Much maniacal.
  • 00:21:52.696 --> 00:21:54.030
  • David is predictable in this circumstance.
  • 00:21:54.030 --> 00:21:56.366
  • And abigail is remarkable.
  • 00:21:56.366 --> 00:21:59.503
  • And these are our choices really.
  • 00:21:59.503 --> 00:22:02.606
  • And if you're not a jesus follower, you get to choose, and
  • 00:22:02.606 --> 00:22:05.442
  • Hopefully you will lean in more in one direction than the other,
  • 00:22:05.442 --> 00:22:07.944
  • But it's up to you.
  • 00:22:07.944 --> 00:22:09.279
  • You're the captain of your own ship.
  • 00:22:09.279 --> 00:22:11.081
  • But if you're a jesus follower, we're really only left with one
  • 00:22:11.081 --> 00:22:17.387
  • Option, and that's remarkable.
  • 00:22:17.387 --> 00:22:20.223
  • And the reason it's our only option is twofold.
  • 00:22:20.223 --> 00:22:22.592
  • Number one, we've been on the receiving end of remarkable and
  • 00:22:22.592 --> 00:22:28.064
  • We have been called to model it.
  • 00:22:28.064 --> 00:22:31.034
  • We don't call, you know, our remarkable abigail,
  • 00:22:31.034 --> 00:22:33.703
  • Amazing abigail.
  • 00:22:33.703 --> 00:22:35.038
  • We call ours amazing what?
  • 00:22:35.038 --> 00:22:36.406
  • Amazing grace, that while we were still sinners, christ died
  • 00:22:36.406 --> 00:22:39.543
  • For our sins.
  • 00:22:39.543 --> 00:22:40.911
  • And then jesus, who died for our sins, says, "now, i want you to
  • 00:22:40.911 --> 00:22:43.814
  • Not just believe in me or believe things about me.
  • 00:22:43.814 --> 00:22:46.583
  • I want you to get up every single day and follow me."
  • 00:22:46.583 --> 00:22:49.653
  • To which you may be tempted to say, "well, what does that
  • 00:22:49.653 --> 00:22:51.621
  • Look like?"
  • 00:22:51.621 --> 00:22:52.956
  • And jesus would smile and say, "well, you should know by now.
  • 00:22:52.956 --> 00:22:55.525
  • If you're gonna follow me, it means you emulate me, which
  • 00:22:55.525 --> 00:22:57.861
  • Means i want you to love your enemies."
  • 00:22:57.861 --> 00:23:00.764
  • To which we say, "you mean tolerate and ignore?"
  • 00:23:00.764 --> 00:23:02.666
  • He says, "no, i mean love, love as in," and here's his words,
  • 00:23:02.666 --> 00:23:07.571
  • His words, "i want you to do good.
  • 00:23:07.571 --> 00:23:12.075
  • Not just ignore and not just not be unkind.
  • 00:23:12.075 --> 00:23:14.945
  • I want you to do good to those who hate you."
  • 00:23:14.945 --> 00:23:18.782
  • To which we say, "i thought i was doing good just not to, you
  • 00:23:18.782 --> 00:23:21.885
  • Know, hurt him, hurt her, or let the air out of his tires, or you
  • 00:23:21.885 --> 00:23:24.788
  • Know, slit the air mattress, and put all of his clothes out on
  • 00:23:24.788 --> 00:23:26.823
  • The street, and change the locks.
  • 00:23:26.823 --> 00:23:28.158
  • I mean, i thought i was already doing good because of what i
  • 00:23:28.158 --> 00:23:30.527
  • Hadn't done."
  • 00:23:30.527 --> 00:23:31.895
  • Jesus says, "no, that's not what i'm talkin' about.
  • 00:23:31.895 --> 00:23:33.296
  • And i want you to bless those, i want you to bless those who
  • 00:23:33.296 --> 00:23:35.932
  • Curse you.
  • 00:23:35.932 --> 00:23:37.334
  • And i want you to pray for those who mistreat you."
  • 00:23:37.334 --> 00:23:43.573
  • Does anybody do this?
  • 00:23:43.573 --> 00:23:45.575
  • To pray for the--if we're honest, we would say, "i don't
  • 00:23:45.575 --> 00:23:48.211
  • Even spend a lot of time praying for the people who treat
  • 00:23:48.211 --> 00:23:50.981
  • Me well."
  • 00:23:50.981 --> 00:23:52.349
  • And jesus says, "i want you to pray for those who mistreat you.
  • 00:23:52.349 --> 00:23:56.119
  • I want you to pray for the mean people.
  • 00:23:56.119 --> 00:23:59.623
  • I don't want you to do something to them, i want you to do
  • 00:23:59.623 --> 00:24:04.928
  • Something for them," because that's how you keep from
  • 00:24:04.928 --> 00:24:11.101
  • Becoming like them.
  • 00:24:11.101 --> 00:24:13.637
  • But there's a bonus.
  • 00:24:13.637 --> 00:24:14.971
  • Jesus says, "when you do to them and for them what they don't
  • 00:24:14.971 --> 00:24:18.708
  • Deserve for you to do, and when you pray for them, and when you
  • 00:24:18.708 --> 00:24:23.713
  • Do good to them, you actually become like your father in
  • 00:24:23.713 --> 00:24:29.286
  • Heaven, because he is also kind to the ungrateful and
  • 00:24:29.286 --> 00:24:35.225
  • The wicked."
  • 00:24:35.225 --> 00:24:37.060
  • So got some mean people in your life?
  • 00:24:37.060 --> 00:24:41.197
  • Parents, do your children have some mean people in their lives?
  • 00:24:41.197 --> 00:24:45.201
  • And because your children have mean people in their lives, you
  • 00:24:45.201 --> 00:24:47.537
  • Know, if anybody mistreats my kids, it's like they're
  • 00:24:47.537 --> 00:24:49.339
  • Mistreating me.
  • 00:24:49.339 --> 00:24:51.174
  • But what would it look like in your circumstances to actually
  • 00:24:51.174 --> 00:24:55.345
  • Do good to those who hate you?
  • 00:24:55.345 --> 00:24:58.481
  • What would it look like to return good for evil?
  • 00:24:58.481 --> 00:25:04.921
  • As things continued to escalate with roger, he threatened to sue
  • 00:25:04.921 --> 00:25:10.961
  • Our real estate agent.
  • 00:25:10.961 --> 00:25:12.329
  • I mean, it just got completely out of control.
  • 00:25:12.329 --> 00:25:14.698
  • About six days before closing, the closing that we weren't sure
  • 00:25:14.698 --> 00:25:18.635
  • Was going to happen because he wasn't about to move out, and of
  • 00:25:18.635 --> 00:25:21.371
  • Course you're not gonna close on a house with somebody living
  • 00:25:21.371 --> 00:25:24.341
  • In it.
  • 00:25:24.341 --> 00:25:25.709
  • I mean, it was just so weird.
  • 00:25:25.709 --> 00:25:27.043
  • I walk into the kitchen, and sandra had been baking.
  • 00:25:27.043 --> 00:25:28.411
  • And she had cookie sheets out with muffins out that were
  • 00:25:28.411 --> 00:25:31.414
  • Cooling, and then there was a paper plate with six muffins
  • 00:25:31.414 --> 00:25:34.751
  • With some cellophane over it.
  • 00:25:34.751 --> 00:25:36.486
  • And clearly she was gonna take these muffins to somebody, which
  • 00:25:36.486 --> 00:25:39.089
  • She does all the time.
  • 00:25:39.089 --> 00:25:40.423
  • And i said, "who are these for?
  • 00:25:40.423 --> 00:25:42.125
  • And she looked at me and smiled."
  • 00:25:42.125 --> 00:25:43.493
  • She said, "they're for roger."
  • 00:25:43.493 --> 00:25:45.962
  • And i'm like, "what?"
  • 00:25:45.962 --> 00:25:48.598
  • And she said, "they're for roger."
  • 00:25:48.598 --> 00:25:49.933
  • I'm just like, "darling, really?"
  • 00:25:49.933 --> 00:25:51.601
  • And here's what she said.
  • 00:25:51.601 --> 00:25:53.403
  • She said, "i have to do this for me.
  • 00:25:53.403 --> 00:25:57.307
  • I have to do this for me.
  • 00:25:57.307 --> 00:25:59.843
  • I have to do something for him.
  • 00:25:59.843 --> 00:26:03.780
  • I have to do something for him, and this is the best thing i
  • 00:26:03.780 --> 00:26:08.852
  • Could come up with."
  • 00:26:08.852 --> 00:26:10.186
  • So, she went out in the garage, got on her donkey, and rode
  • 00:26:10.186 --> 00:26:15.425
  • To lawrenceville.
  • 00:26:15.425 --> 00:26:16.993
  • Now, her plan was to get there and leave the muffins on his
  • 00:26:16.993 --> 00:26:19.696
  • Car, and then text him and say, "hey, roger," you know?
  • 00:26:19.696 --> 00:26:22.632
  • He was outside.
  • 00:26:22.632 --> 00:26:24.067
  • They had a very awkward conversation.
  • 00:26:24.067 --> 00:26:27.037
  • She left the muffins.
  • 00:26:27.037 --> 00:26:28.738
  • Didn't make a dent.
  • 00:26:28.738 --> 00:26:30.273
  • Sandra, she would tell you, she was free.
  • 00:26:30.273 --> 00:26:34.511
  • And then four days before the closing was to take place,
  • 00:26:34.511 --> 00:26:38.314
  • After, again, all kinds of just crazy stuff, he finally took his
  • 00:26:38.314 --> 00:26:42.786
  • Stuff and he left.
  • 00:26:42.786 --> 00:26:46.456
  • But here's the point for all of us.
  • 00:26:46.456 --> 00:26:48.291
  • Let's not write a predictable story.
  • 00:26:48.291 --> 00:26:52.362
  • Let's not write--let's not write an evil for evil story.
  • 00:26:52.362 --> 00:26:57.000
  • It's so predictable.
  • 00:26:57.000 --> 00:26:58.368
  • It's what everybody expects you to do.
  • 00:26:58.368 --> 00:27:00.003
  • It's what you're justified.
  • 00:27:00.003 --> 00:27:01.571
  • Your friends will say, "well, of course that's what you did."
  • 00:27:01.571 --> 00:27:04.507
  • This is our moment.
  • 00:27:04.507 --> 00:27:05.875
  • This is our opportunity.
  • 00:27:05.875 --> 00:27:07.210
  • The meaner they are, the meaner they are, the brighter our light
  • 00:27:07.210 --> 00:27:14.250
  • Has an opportunity to shine.
  • 00:27:14.250 --> 00:27:16.653
  • And i know that because i don't know your circumstances, i know
  • 00:27:16.653 --> 00:27:18.822
  • That's so easy for me to stand up here and say, but i'm not
  • 00:27:18.822 --> 00:27:22.025
  • Asking you to follow me.
  • 00:27:22.025 --> 00:27:23.960
  • I'm just trying to inspire you and encourage you to follow our
  • 00:27:23.960 --> 00:27:27.831
  • Savior and to write a remarkable story to do for others precisely
  • 00:27:27.831 --> 00:27:35.405
  • What they don't deserve for you to do.
  • 00:27:35.405 --> 00:27:39.676
  • And it may not, in fact, it probably won't change anything
  • 00:27:39.676 --> 00:27:42.278
  • In them, but it will do something for you.
  • 00:27:42.278 --> 00:27:47.250
  • Andy: hey everybody, thank you so much for tuning in.
  • 00:27:47.317 --> 00:27:49.352
  • If you'd like to watch this episode again or share it with a
  • 00:27:49.352 --> 00:27:52.188
  • Friend, head on over to the website at the bottom of
  • 00:27:52.188 --> 00:27:54.290
  • The screen.
  • 00:27:54.290 --> 00:27:55.658
  • The website is the best place for you to find other "your
  • 00:27:55.658 --> 00:27:58.261
  • Move" episodes, access additional resources, and learn
  • 00:27:58.261 --> 00:28:01.030
  • More about our mission to engage culture with the teaching of
  • 00:28:01.030 --> 00:28:04.334
  • Jesus because we're convinced following jesus will make your
  • 00:28:04.334 --> 00:28:07.303
  • Life better and make the world a better place,
  • 00:28:07.303 --> 00:28:10.173
  • And now it's your move.
  • 00:28:10.173 --> 00:28:12.208
  • ♪♪♪
  • 00:28:12.542 --> 00:28:22.786
  • ...
  • 00:28:26.022 --> 00:28:29.010