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Your Move with Andy Stanley | Andy Stanley - Mean People (Part 2) | May 29, 2026
- ...
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- Andy stanley: hi, everybody, welcome to "your move," where we
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- Help you make better decisions and live with fewer regrets.
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- I'm andy stanley and i'll be your guide.
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- Now, do you know any mean people?
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- Have you ever tried to get even with someone who's mean, only to
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- Discover you're being mean?
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- You're becoming just like someone you don't even like.
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- Well, there is a better way and that's what we're talkin' about
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- Today right here on "your move."
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- ♪♪♪
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- Andy stanley: we are in part two of a series entitled "mean
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- People," and specifically, what to do about them.
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- "mean people and what to do about them."
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- And just so you know, i realize that you have been mean.
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- Perhaps somebody is gonna hear or watch this message, i hope
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- Not, and you'll come to mind.
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- I hope that's not the case.
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- We've all had seasons in our lives when we've been the
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- Mean people.
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- And mostly when we get together, we're talking about how to live
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- A life in such a way that we're not the mean people.
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- So we usually focus on how to become better people, but in
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- This series we're talking specifically about how to
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- Respond to or what to do about the mean people in our lives.
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- Not just the folks who bug us.
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- We all have people who bug us.
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- Specifically, these are the mean people.
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- These are the people who are deceptive.
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- They're controlling.
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- They're just unkind.
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- They're unpredictable.
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- They're manipulative.
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- To be specific, i'm not talkin' about somebody who's physically
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- Or sexually abusive.
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- That's different, that's illegal.
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- This is just the mean people.
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- And it's important to talk about this and it's important to think
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- Through how we're gonna respond, because if we're--if we don't
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- Have a plan, if we're not prepared, if we're not
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- Proactive, well, you know what happens.
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- What happens to the mean people in our lives?
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- The mean people in our lives, they actually gain a measure of
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- Control over our lives.
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- And before we know it, we are being mean right back even if we
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- Don't mean to.
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- In fact, it's almost as if we have no choice because, and you
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- Know this, mean can make you mean, because mean people keep
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- Us off-balance.
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- And if somebody walks up to you and pushes you and you're
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- Off-balance, what do you do?
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- Well, you have no choice but to compensate.
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- When we're off-balance, we're forced to compensate.
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- So when you're around these people, you always feel a little
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- Bit off-balance.
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- In fact, when you're around these people, other people who
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- Know you might even say to you, "you know, when you're around
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- Him, when you're with her, i notice when you're together,
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- You're not the same person you are everywhere else.
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- You seem to become a different person."
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- It's because that person has kinda thrown you off-balance.
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- And obviously, or it seems intuitively, our only choice is
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- To respond in like kind.
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- I told you the first part of a story last week.
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- We have an 80-year-old friend, sandra and i do, named alice.
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- And alice--sandra became her legal power--financial power of
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- Attorney because we needed to move alice out of her home into
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- Assisted living.
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- And sandra went to jump through all the hoops to become legal
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- Power of attorney, and we eventually got alice moved, but
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- During that process, alice had invited a friend to move in with
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- Her who had fallen on hard times.
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- This guy's in his late 60s, living out of his car.
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- And out of the goodness of her heart, she said, "well, you can
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- Stay with me a few months until you, you know, kinda get
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- Yourself together."
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- And we were warned that if he moved in, we would have a hard
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- Time getting him out, but when i met this guy, his name's roger,
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- He seemed like such a nice guy, and he was actually helpful with
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- Alice and helpful with the garage sale.
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- So we eventually get her house cleaned out.
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- Some of you heard this story last time.
- 00:03:17.348 --> 00:03:19.183
- Get her house cleaned out.
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- We put the house on the market, but he won't move out.
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- And we gave him a deadline, he won't move out, and we were so
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- Worried he was going to undermine the closing.
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- In fact, as i shared last time, he actually tried to do it.
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- The point being it's difficult not to be mean to mean people.
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- It's difficult not to be unkind to people who've been unkind
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- To us.
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- It's difficult to be sensitive to insensitive people.
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- And again, the golden rule is, like, right out the window,
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- Isn't it, when it comes to mean people.
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- Now it's the iron rule.
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- It's the do unto others as they have done unto you, or as they
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- Are doing unto you, or even worse, right?
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- But of course, and we talked about this, the problem with
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- Getting back at the mean people or the problem with trying to
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- Get even with mean people is that it actually makes
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- Things worse.
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- Because the problem with getting even is that it makes us even
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- With someone we don't really even like.
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- It makes us like someone that we actually dislike.
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- So the question we're asking in this series, and we began, you
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- Know, unpacking the answer last time, is, what do we do?
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- I mean, you can't just ignore these people.
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- That actually empowers them.
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- And eventually you're gonna break, right?
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- Eventually you're gonna break.
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- You're gonna act like them or worse, which actually gives them
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- More power over you.
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- There's actually a third option.
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- You don't have to ignore them.
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- You don't have to become like them.
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- There's a third option that actually takes away some of
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- Their power and it actually positions us to keep our
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- Frustration from overflowing into other relationships
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- Around us.
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- And this third option protects us from falling into that trap
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- As well.
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- Jesus taught it, of course, and jesus modeled it.
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- In fact, he was the ultimate model, but abigail modeled it
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- As well.
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- And abigail is a character in the old testament that many
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- People don't know about and she's part of sort of the
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- Backstory of the story of david.
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- Most of us are familiar with king david.
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- If you grew up in church, maybe you know the story of shepherd
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- Boy david.
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- But this story takes place in the season of his life where he
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- Is fugitive david.
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- When he was a teenager, as most of us know, he marched down into
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- The valley of elah.
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- He killed goliath with a slingshot.
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- In that moment, he became a national hero.
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- So king saul, the king of israel, brought him in close,
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- Actually made him part of his family because he was a national
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- Hero, and he was a leader, and he had influence.
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- And king saul was smart enough to know you keep your enemies--
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- You keep your friends close and you keep your enemies close
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- As well.
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- And david, he realized, was a bit of a threat to his power and
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- His influence in israel.
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- And then he gets word that a rogue prophet had actually gone
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- To david's house when he was a little boy and anointed him as
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- The next king of israel.
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- And if you are the current king, of course that's a problem
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- Because you want your son to become the next king.
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- So now david is a threat to saul's dynasty, so he tries to
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- Kill david.
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- He eventually banishes him.
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- David becomes a fugitive.
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- He gathers other fugitives around him.
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- Before long, he's got about 600 men, their wives, their
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- Girlfriends, their--you know, their kids kind of traipsing
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- Along behind him.
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- He's got a small army, but he's a fugitive from the law.
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- And he's angry.
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- He's angry with king saul and he's angry with the
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- Circumstances, but he can't get to saul, so he just kinda
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- Carries this seething anger everywhere he goes.
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- And that's what brings us to the story and this is
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- Where we meet abigail.
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- So i'm going to catch you up a little bit with the story and
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- Then we'll continue from there.
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- Here's how the story begins, 1 samuel chapter 25.
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- Samuel was essentially david's biographer.
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- "a certain man in maon, who had property there in carmel, was
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- Very wealthy.
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- He had a thousand goats and three thousand sheep, which he
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- Was shearing in carmel.
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- And his name was nabal."
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- Now, during sheep shearing season, men and families who had
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- A lot of sheep discovered just how much wealthier they
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- Had become.
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- This was like payday.
- 00:07:14.285 --> 00:07:15.653
- This is an annual financial report.
- 00:07:15.653 --> 00:07:17.788
- "his name was nabal and his wife's name was abigail.
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- And she was an intelligent and beautiful woman, but her husband
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- Was harsh and mean," there's our word, "in his dealings."
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- So david and his men hear about the fact that nabal is having
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- Sheep shearing in carmel and realizes nabal's about to become
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- Even wealthier, so david sends ten of his men to carmel to meet
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- With nabal to say, "hey, would you be willing to share some of
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- Your wealth and some of your extra wealth, some of your extra
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- With me and my men?"
- 00:07:47.485 --> 00:07:49.320
- And why would david feel like he could make that request?
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- Well, that's what the message to nabal--the message from david's
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- Men to nabal explains that.
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- Here's what they said.
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- They said, "nabal, when your shepherds were with us," out in
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- The fields for months and months and months, "when your
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- Shepherds were with us, we did not mistreat them, and the whole
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- Time they were at carmel nothing of theirs was missing."
- 00:08:06.904 --> 00:08:10.508
- In other words, our men could've taken whatever they wanted
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- To take.
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- We could've taken women.
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- We could've taken sheep.
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- We could have mistreated your shepherds.
- 00:08:17.214 --> 00:08:18.583
- But instead, you can talk to them, nothing went missing.
- 00:08:18.583 --> 00:08:21.319
- In other words, your profit is due in part to our protection,
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- So this seemed kind of reasonable.
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- Hey, would you share with us your profits, because, you know,
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- Your profits are due in part to our protection.
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- Nabal's response?
- 00:08:32.797 --> 00:08:34.799
- He was rude.
- 00:08:34.799 --> 00:08:36.133
- He said this to david's messengers, "who is this david?"
- 00:08:36.133 --> 00:08:38.769
- Now, he knew who he was.
- 00:08:38.769 --> 00:08:40.104
- "who is this david?
- 00:08:40.104 --> 00:08:42.006
- Who is who is this son of jesse who's broken away from the king?
- 00:08:42.006 --> 00:08:46.210
- He's just a bandit.
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- He's a fugitive.
- 00:08:47.545 --> 00:08:48.913
- He's a nobody.
- 00:08:48.913 --> 00:08:50.247
- He's an outlaw.
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- I did not ask for his help.
- 00:08:51.616 --> 00:08:52.950
- I didn't need his help and i don't owe him anything.
- 00:08:52.950 --> 00:08:55.419
- And you can go back and tell him that."
- 00:08:55.419 --> 00:08:58.623
- "so david's men, they turned around and they went back.
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- And when they arrived, they reported every word."
- 00:09:01.759 --> 00:09:05.062
- And if you were with us last time, you'll remember
- 00:09:05.062 --> 00:09:06.797
- David's response.
- 00:09:06.797 --> 00:09:08.132
- "david said to his men, 'each of you strap on your sword!'
- 00:09:08.132 --> 00:09:12.303
- So they did, and david strapped his on as well.
- 00:09:12.303 --> 00:09:14.905
- And about four hundred men, about four hundred men went up
- 00:09:14.905 --> 00:09:18.676
- With david."
- 00:09:18.676 --> 00:09:20.044
- They were headed out of the mountains to carmel.
- 00:09:20.044 --> 00:09:22.446
- Now, this 400 men, this was an overreaction, as we said, of
- 00:09:22.446 --> 00:09:25.416
- Epic proportion.
- 00:09:25.416 --> 00:09:26.751
- This was going to be a massacre.
- 00:09:26.751 --> 00:09:29.053
- And as he rides along, he does what many of us have done many,
- 00:09:29.053 --> 00:09:33.090
- Many times.
- 00:09:33.090 --> 00:09:34.425
- As he rides along, he kinda builds up a head of steam.
- 00:09:34.425 --> 00:09:36.227
- He begins justifying to himself what he wasn't 100% sure he
- 00:09:36.227 --> 00:09:40.431
- Should be doing.
- 00:09:40.431 --> 00:09:42.533
- "it's been useless," he mutters to himself.
- 00:09:42.533 --> 00:09:44.435
- "it's been useless--all my watching over this fellow's
- 00:09:44.435 --> 00:09:47.004
- Property in the wilderness so that nothing of his
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- Was missing."
- 00:09:49.707 --> 00:09:51.042
- And what has he done?
- 00:09:51.042 --> 00:09:52.410
- How has he responded to me?
- 00:09:52.410 --> 00:09:53.744
- "he has paid me back evil for good."
- 00:09:53.744 --> 00:09:57.248
- And then god--you know, david evokes god's name and invites
- 00:09:57.248 --> 00:10:00.918
- God into the equation, "may god deal with me," he says.
- 00:10:00.918 --> 00:10:04.422
- "may god deal with me.
- 00:10:04.422 --> 00:10:05.790
- May god deal with david, be it ever so severely, if by morning
- 00:10:05.790 --> 00:10:09.293
- I leave alive one male of all who belong to him!"
- 00:10:09.293 --> 00:10:13.764
- I'm going to kill his servants, his friends, his sons, and then
- 00:10:13.764 --> 00:10:18.469
- I'm going to kill him.
- 00:10:18.469 --> 00:10:20.304
- Now again, you read this story and you're like, "okay, so
- 00:10:20.304 --> 00:10:22.673
- David, he didn't share with you.
- 00:10:22.673 --> 00:10:24.575
- Is this what you do?"
- 00:10:24.575 --> 00:10:27.311
- Well, if we know anything or if you know anything about david's
- 00:10:27.311 --> 00:10:29.780
- History, this is what he did.
- 00:10:29.780 --> 00:10:32.116
- So he was riding along.
- 00:10:32.116 --> 00:10:33.551
- He's hurt. he's angry.
- 00:10:33.551 --> 00:10:34.885
- He's powering up. it's gonna be evil for evil.
- 00:10:34.885 --> 00:10:36.921
- He's really channeling, i think, his frustration with king saul,
- 00:10:36.921 --> 00:10:40.324
- But king saul is untouchable.
- 00:10:40.324 --> 00:10:42.026
- But he's found somebody he can take his anger out on, and
- 00:10:42.026 --> 00:10:46.230
- That's pretty much where we left off last time with the story, so
- 00:10:46.230 --> 00:10:49.467
- We'll continue from there.
- 00:10:49.467 --> 00:10:50.835
- Meanwhile, meanwhile back in carmel, here's what happened.
- 00:10:50.835 --> 00:10:54.572
- "one of the servants, one of the servants," nabal's servants,
- 00:10:54.572 --> 00:10:58.142
- "told abigail, nabal's wife, 'david sent messengers--'" you
- 00:10:58.142 --> 00:11:01.912
- Weren't here, we find out later.
- 00:11:01.912 --> 00:11:03.247
- You weren't here, but let me tell you what happened.
- 00:11:03.247 --> 00:11:04.682
- "david sent messengers from the wilderness to give our master
- 00:11:04.682 --> 00:11:08.152
- His greetings, but our master hurled insults at them.
- 00:11:08.152 --> 00:11:12.356
- Yet, yet abigail, these men, david's men, these men were so
- 00:11:12.356 --> 00:11:16.227
- Good to us.
- 00:11:16.227 --> 00:11:17.595
- They did not mistreat us, the whole time we were out in the
- 00:11:17.595 --> 00:11:19.530
- Fields near them nothing went missing.
- 00:11:19.530 --> 00:11:23.100
- Night and day, night and day they were like a wall around us.
- 00:11:23.100 --> 00:11:27.605
- They protected us the whole time we were herding our sheep
- 00:11:27.605 --> 00:11:31.008
- Near them."
- 00:11:31.008 --> 00:11:32.343
- And then she says, "abigail, think it over.
- 00:11:32.343 --> 00:11:34.578
- I want you to think it over and see what you can do, because
- 00:11:34.578 --> 00:11:37.014
- Disaster is hanging over our master and his whole household."
- 00:11:37.014 --> 00:11:42.953
- And then i think she leans in.
- 00:11:42.953 --> 00:11:44.321
- She doesn't say this very loud.
- 00:11:44.321 --> 00:11:45.656
- She whispers in abigail's ear, "he is such a wicked man.
- 00:11:45.656 --> 00:11:49.827
- He's such a wicked man that nobody, nobody can talk to him."
- 00:11:49.827 --> 00:11:54.465
- "so abigail acted quickly."
- 00:11:54.465 --> 00:11:58.102
- Now, here's what she does.
- 00:11:58.102 --> 00:11:59.436
- It's kind of interesting.
- 00:11:59.436 --> 00:12:00.805
- She assembles a caravan of food donkeys.
- 00:12:00.805 --> 00:12:04.375
- Okay, you're familiar with food trucks.
- 00:12:04.375 --> 00:12:06.110
- Okay, food donkeys, caravan of food donkeys.
- 00:12:06.110 --> 00:12:08.445
- She gets all these donkeys, ties them together, and then she
- 00:12:08.445 --> 00:12:11.749
- Loads them up with food.
- 00:12:11.749 --> 00:12:13.083
- Food donkeys.
- 00:12:13.083 --> 00:12:14.451
- There were hundreds of loaves of bread, figs, cakes, wine.
- 00:12:14.451 --> 00:12:18.522
- She just loads 'em up.
- 00:12:18.522 --> 00:12:19.890
- She knows she has about 400 male mouths to feed.
- 00:12:19.890 --> 00:12:22.760
- And then she told her servant-- this was so smart.
- 00:12:22.760 --> 00:12:25.229
- "she said to her servants, 'you go on ahead, you head out toward
- 00:12:25.229 --> 00:12:28.265
- The plain; i'll follow you.'
- 00:12:28.265 --> 00:12:30.768
- But she did not tell her husband nabal what she was up to."
- 00:12:30.768 --> 00:12:34.505
- Meanwhile, coming down out of the mountains, here comes david
- 00:12:34.505 --> 00:12:37.508
- And his 400 men armed for battle, and he's just mumbling
- 00:12:37.508 --> 00:12:41.846
- To himself, building up this head of steam, justifying--
- 00:12:41.846 --> 00:12:45.516
- Building up justification for what he's about to do.
- 00:12:45.516 --> 00:12:47.885
- And as he comes out of this ravine, the text tells us, he
- 00:12:47.885 --> 00:12:50.287
- Comes out of this ravine onto this big, wide-open plain, and
- 00:12:50.287 --> 00:12:54.091
- What does he see?
- 00:12:54.091 --> 00:12:55.426
- A caravan of food donkeys.
- 00:12:55.426 --> 00:12:57.895
- And in the front is this beautiful woman, and it totally
- 00:12:57.895 --> 00:13:01.799
- Messes up his mood.
- 00:13:01.799 --> 00:13:03.434
- You ever had that happen?
- 00:13:03.434 --> 00:13:04.768
- Like, you've got your speech perfectly planned, and you've
- 00:13:04.768 --> 00:13:06.904
- Kind of built up a head of steam, and you're gonna go home
- 00:13:06.904 --> 00:13:08.639
- Or you're gonna walk down to the other office, you've got it all
- 00:13:08.639 --> 00:13:11.175
- Worked out, and then somebody apologizes or somebody does
- 00:13:11.175 --> 00:13:13.944
- Something so nice for you.
- 00:13:13.944 --> 00:13:15.312
- It's like, "ugh!"
- 00:13:15.312 --> 00:13:16.647
- It's like how--you know, i was so mad.
- 00:13:16.647 --> 00:13:18.015
- I was perfectly mad.
- 00:13:18.015 --> 00:13:19.984
- I was perfectly mad to deliver this message.
- 00:13:19.984 --> 00:13:22.086
- So here comes david and he's spent all this time, he's got
- 00:13:22.086 --> 00:13:24.555
- These guys, and here's the--you know, the food caravan.
- 00:13:24.555 --> 00:13:28.092
- Ruins his mood.
- 00:13:28.092 --> 00:13:29.426
- I mean, you just can't stay mad with that goin' on.
- 00:13:29.426 --> 00:13:31.061
- So here's what the text says, "when abigail saw david, she
- 00:13:31.061 --> 00:13:36.000
- Quickly got off her donkey and she bowed down before david with
- 00:13:36.000 --> 00:13:39.803
- Her face to the ground," and this is so powerful.
- 00:13:39.803 --> 00:13:45.009
- She begins to speak to david.
- 00:13:45.009 --> 00:13:48.045
- She begins to speak to david as if he is already the man that
- 00:13:48.045 --> 00:13:52.116
- She hopes he will become.
- 00:13:52.116 --> 00:13:55.352
- Anyway, here's what she does that's so powerful.
- 00:13:55.352 --> 00:13:57.521
- "she fell at his feet and she said: 'pardon your servant, my
- 00:13:57.521 --> 00:14:00.090
- Lord, and let me speak to you.'"
- 00:14:00.090 --> 00:14:01.725
- In other words, "just give me a minute."
- 00:14:01.725 --> 00:14:03.394
- "and please hear what your servant has to say.
- 00:14:03.394 --> 00:14:06.830
- Please," she says, "pay no attention to my husband, my
- 00:14:06.830 --> 00:14:11.001
- Lord, that wicked man nabal.
- 00:14:11.001 --> 00:14:12.836
- He is just like his name--his name means fool, and folly goes
- 00:14:12.836 --> 00:14:16.607
- With him."
- 00:14:16.607 --> 00:14:17.942
- So, you're not wrong about my husband, okay?
- 00:14:17.942 --> 00:14:19.610
- And as for me, your servant, i wasn't there when your ten men
- 00:14:19.610 --> 00:14:24.715
- Showed up and made the request.
- 00:14:24.715 --> 00:14:26.083
- If i'd been there, i may have been able to influence
- 00:14:26.083 --> 00:14:28.519
- My husband.
- 00:14:28.519 --> 00:14:29.887
- I wasn't there.
- 00:14:29.887 --> 00:14:31.221
- This wasn't my fault.
- 00:14:31.221 --> 00:14:32.589
- Referring to the ten men that david had sent ahead of time.
- 00:14:32.589 --> 00:14:34.959
- Then she--then here she goes.
- 00:14:34.959 --> 00:14:36.360
- This is so powerful, and here's what she says, "and now, and
- 00:14:36.360 --> 00:14:39.797
- Now, my lord, as surely as the lord your god lives and as you
- 00:14:39.797 --> 00:14:44.068
- Live, since the lord--since the lord has kept you from
- 00:14:44.068 --> 00:14:49.139
- Bloodshed, since the lord has kept you from avenging yourself
- 00:14:49.139 --> 00:14:52.943
- With your own hands."
- 00:14:52.943 --> 00:14:54.345
- And david's like, "he did?"
- 00:14:54.345 --> 00:14:56.080
- She's like, "yes, he did.
- 00:14:56.080 --> 00:14:57.481
- He did."
- 00:14:57.481 --> 00:14:58.849
- In other words, "david, you're not--c'mon, you're not the type
- 00:14:58.849 --> 00:15:01.251
- Of person that would avenge yourself on a defenseless
- 00:15:01.251 --> 00:15:05.456
- Person, are you?"
- 00:15:05.456 --> 00:15:06.824
- Well, i guess i'm not.
- 00:15:06.824 --> 00:15:08.158
- And then she gives him credit again for being even better than
- 00:15:08.158 --> 00:15:10.294
- He was about to be.
- 00:15:10.294 --> 00:15:11.662
- She continues, "and let this gift, which your servant has
- 00:15:11.662 --> 00:15:15.199
- Brought to my lord, be given to the men who follow you."
- 00:15:15.199 --> 00:15:18.936
- Again, this just completely ruins his plans.
- 00:15:18.936 --> 00:15:21.005
- I mean, how do you justify slaughter and pillage when
- 00:15:21.005 --> 00:15:23.674
- Somebody's bringing you what you were gonna steal?
- 00:15:23.674 --> 00:15:25.976
- "the lord your god, the lord your god will certainly make a
- 00:15:25.976 --> 00:15:30.114
- Lasting dynasty for my lord, because you fight the
- 00:15:30.114 --> 00:15:35.285
- Lord's battles."
- 00:15:35.285 --> 00:15:36.653
- He's like, "i do?"
- 00:15:36.653 --> 00:15:38.022
- Yes, you do.
- 00:15:38.022 --> 00:15:39.356
- You fight the lord's battles.
- 00:15:39.356 --> 00:15:40.724
- You don't have to fight your own battles, david.
- 00:15:40.724 --> 00:15:42.693
- "and no wrongdoing, and no wrongdoing will be found in you
- 00:15:42.693 --> 00:15:46.964
- As long as you live."
- 00:15:46.964 --> 00:15:48.866
- It won't?
- 00:15:48.866 --> 00:15:50.200
- No, it won't.
- 00:15:50.200 --> 00:15:51.568
- "even though--" and then she refers to king saul, because
- 00:15:51.568 --> 00:15:54.538
- Everybody knew the story.
- 00:15:54.538 --> 00:15:55.906
- Everybody knew the background of why david was a fugitive.
- 00:15:55.906 --> 00:15:58.809
- "even though someone is pursuing you to take your life, the life
- 00:15:58.809 --> 00:16:03.113
- Of my lord will be--" this is-- she uses some interesting
- 00:16:03.113 --> 00:16:05.716
- Hebrew imagery.
- 00:16:05.716 --> 00:16:07.084
- "the life of my lord will be bound securely in the bundle of
- 00:16:07.084 --> 00:16:11.655
- The living by the lord your god," which is like, what?
- 00:16:11.655 --> 00:16:14.725
- Here's basically what she's saying.
- 00:16:14.725 --> 00:16:16.560
- Even though someone is trying to steal your life, your life, your
- 00:16:16.560 --> 00:16:21.031
- Life is tucked away securely and safely in god's wallet.
- 00:16:21.031 --> 00:16:25.235
- Your life is hidden in the bottom of a lady's large purse.
- 00:16:25.235 --> 00:16:29.673
- It's safe.
- 00:16:29.673 --> 00:16:31.008
- No one will ever be able to find it.
- 00:16:31.008 --> 00:16:33.777
- Then, this is my favorite part, then she takes him back to
- 00:16:33.777 --> 00:16:38.882
- 15-year-old david, his 15-year-old self, when he
- 00:16:38.882 --> 00:16:43.687
- Faced goliath.
- 00:16:43.687 --> 00:16:45.222
- In fact, perhaps, as we talked about last time, david's sword
- 00:16:45.222 --> 00:16:48.725
- Was goliath's sword.
- 00:16:48.725 --> 00:16:50.127
- He had actually taken it from a priest earlier, just a few
- 00:16:50.127 --> 00:16:52.629
- Chapters earlier.
- 00:16:52.629 --> 00:16:53.964
- Perhaps she saw goliath's sword strapped to his back or strapped
- 00:16:53.964 --> 00:16:57.234
- Across the back of his mule.
- 00:16:57.234 --> 00:16:58.735
- Maybe that's what gave her this idea.
- 00:16:58.735 --> 00:17:00.904
- Here's what she says, "but the lives--" this is so great.
- 00:17:00.904 --> 00:17:04.908
- "but the lives of your enemies he," god, "will hurl away as
- 00:17:04.908 --> 00:17:09.913
- From the pocket of a sling."
- 00:17:09.913 --> 00:17:12.716
- David, remember.
- 00:17:12.716 --> 00:17:16.120
- Remember god's past faithfulness.
- 00:17:16.120 --> 00:17:18.288
- Remember when you marched down into or walked down into the
- 00:17:18.288 --> 00:17:21.058
- Valley of elah to face goliath?
- 00:17:21.058 --> 00:17:22.626
- You weren't a warrior.
- 00:17:22.626 --> 00:17:24.294
- You weren't equipped for battle.
- 00:17:24.294 --> 00:17:26.363
- You didn't have a sword.
- 00:17:26.363 --> 00:17:28.265
- You just did what you felt like god wanted you to do.
- 00:17:28.265 --> 00:17:31.568
- And do you remember how god came to your rescue?
- 00:17:31.568 --> 00:17:33.604
- Do you remember how god defended you?
- 00:17:33.604 --> 00:17:35.272
- Remember those days?
- 00:17:35.272 --> 00:17:36.607
- David, you don't need to get even.
- 00:17:36.607 --> 00:17:39.409
- You have no need to return evil for evil, for the lord your god
- 00:17:39.409 --> 00:17:45.883
- Is with you.
- 00:17:45.883 --> 00:17:47.284
- And then she speaks to his future.
- 00:17:47.284 --> 00:17:50.254
- And essentially, she asked the question that we ask all the
- 00:17:50.254 --> 00:17:52.856
- Time around here.
- 00:17:52.856 --> 00:17:54.224
- She asked the question without asking it directly.
- 00:17:54.224 --> 00:17:56.193
- Essentially this next part, she says, "david, what story do you
- 00:17:56.193 --> 00:18:01.899
- Wanna tell when this is nothing but a story that you tell?"
- 00:18:01.899 --> 00:18:07.004
- Years from now when you're looking back on this season of
- 00:18:07.004 --> 00:18:09.740
- Your life as a fugitive, because one day you're gonna be the
- 00:18:09.740 --> 00:18:11.608
- King, god's gonna keep his promise to you, but when you
- 00:18:11.608 --> 00:18:14.378
- Look back on this season, what story do you wanna tell?
- 00:18:14.378 --> 00:18:18.448
- Here's her version, "when the lord has fulfilled for my lord
- 00:18:18.448 --> 00:18:23.587
- Every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed
- 00:18:23.587 --> 00:18:26.924
- Him ruler or king over israel, my lord--" this is so great.
- 00:18:26.924 --> 00:18:32.496
- "my lord will not have on his conscience the staggering burden
- 00:18:32.496 --> 00:18:38.101
- Of needless bloodshed of having avenged himself."
- 00:18:38.101 --> 00:18:44.308
- David, isn't this the better story?
- 00:18:44.308 --> 00:18:49.846
- Don't you want to look back on this season and realize that you
- 00:18:49.846 --> 00:18:53.517
- Stepped back instead of taking matters into your own hand?
- 00:18:53.517 --> 00:18:57.854
- And of course, david comes to his senses.
- 00:18:57.854 --> 00:19:01.158
- He's about to act like somebody he doesn't even like.
- 00:19:01.158 --> 00:19:05.095
- "and david said to abigail, 'praise be to the lord, the god
- 00:19:05.095 --> 00:19:08.532
- Of israel, who has sent you today to meet me.
- 00:19:08.532 --> 00:19:11.868
- May you be blessed for your good judgment.'"
- 00:19:11.868 --> 00:19:15.205
- In other words, "you had good judgment.
- 00:19:15.205 --> 00:19:16.540
- I didn't.
- 00:19:16.540 --> 00:19:17.908
- I'm thanking god for your good judgment and i'm so grateful it
- 00:19:17.908 --> 00:19:20.310
- Intersected with the decision i was about to make."
- 00:19:20.310 --> 00:19:22.613
- "for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging
- 00:19:22.613 --> 00:19:26.116
- Myself with my own hands.
- 00:19:26.116 --> 00:19:28.051
- I have heard your words and i'm granting you your request."
- 00:19:28.051 --> 00:19:34.224
- Now, at some point we all need an abigail in our lives,
- 00:19:34.224 --> 00:19:39.863
- Don't we?
- 00:19:39.863 --> 00:19:41.231
- We all need somebody who can talk us down.
- 00:19:41.231 --> 00:19:43.600
- We all need somebody who has access to us.
- 00:19:43.600 --> 00:19:45.602
- We all need somebody who feels permission to delve into those
- 00:19:45.602 --> 00:19:48.538
- Areas of our lives that we oftentimes just keep people
- 00:19:48.538 --> 00:19:51.241
- Away from.
- 00:19:51.241 --> 00:19:52.709
- We all need an abigail.
- 00:19:52.709 --> 00:19:55.846
- And when she shows up or when he shows up in our lives, we should
- 00:19:55.846 --> 00:19:59.449
- Be wise enough to listen.
- 00:19:59.449 --> 00:20:02.719
- In fact, some of us, if we're honest, one of our greatest
- 00:20:02.719 --> 00:20:06.223
- Regrets could have been avoided if we had listened to the
- 00:20:06.223 --> 00:20:10.127
- Abigail in our life.
- 00:20:10.127 --> 00:20:12.529
- And then, and i was tempted to skip the rest of the story
- 00:20:12.529 --> 00:20:14.965
- Because it's, you know, it's a little bit storybook, but hey,
- 00:20:14.965 --> 00:20:17.668
- This is how the story ends and this is how things went down
- 00:20:17.668 --> 00:20:20.570
- Back then.
- 00:20:20.570 --> 00:20:21.905
- "when abigail went to nabal, he was in the house holding a
- 00:20:21.905 --> 00:20:24.441
- Banquet like that of a king," 'cause he's just made all--he's
- 00:20:24.441 --> 00:20:26.843
- Got all this extra wealth, all this extra.
- 00:20:26.843 --> 00:20:28.845
- "he was in high spirits," he's so happy, "and very drunk.
- 00:20:28.845 --> 00:20:32.949
- And so she told him nothing at all until daybreak."
- 00:20:32.949 --> 00:20:35.852
- So she doesn't go back and say, "you really owe me big time,"
- 00:20:35.852 --> 00:20:38.922
- Because she just waits.
- 00:20:38.922 --> 00:20:40.424
- "then in the morning, when nabal was sober, his wife told him
- 00:20:40.424 --> 00:20:43.660
- Everything that had happened, and his heart failed him," when
- 00:20:43.660 --> 00:20:46.563
- He realized how close he came to being executed and losing
- 00:20:46.563 --> 00:20:49.700
- Everything he had, "and he became like a stone.
- 00:20:49.700 --> 00:20:53.103
- And then about ten days later, the lord struck nabal and
- 00:20:53.103 --> 00:20:57.741
- He died."
- 00:20:57.741 --> 00:20:59.076
- And then the storybook ending, "then david sent word to
- 00:20:59.076 --> 00:21:02.979
- Abigail, asking her to become his wife."
- 00:21:02.979 --> 00:21:06.316
- Like, really?
- 00:21:06.316 --> 00:21:07.651
- Yeah, this is just how things happened back then.
- 00:21:07.651 --> 00:21:09.252
- What do you think she did?
- 00:21:09.252 --> 00:21:10.587
- "abigail quickly got on a donkey and, attended by her five female
- 00:21:10.587 --> 00:21:16.259
- Servants, went with david's messengers and became his wife."
- 00:21:16.259 --> 00:21:20.664
- And of course, they live happily ever after.
- 00:21:20.664 --> 00:21:24.835
- The end.
- 00:21:24.835 --> 00:21:26.169
- So--yeah, i made that part up.
- 00:21:26.169 --> 00:21:28.572
- Okay, so here's what we have, and this is where this begins to
- 00:21:28.572 --> 00:21:31.108
- Interface with all of our lives, either now or in the future.
- 00:21:31.108 --> 00:21:34.778
- Three characters, three different responses, but only
- 00:21:34.778 --> 00:21:38.648
- One hero.
- 00:21:38.648 --> 00:21:39.983
- Nabal, david, and abigail; evil for good, evil for evil, this is
- 00:21:39.983 --> 00:21:45.655
- Where we're tempted to live, and then good for evil.
- 00:21:45.655 --> 00:21:50.293
- As we said last time, as you get to know nabal, he's pretty
- 00:21:50.293 --> 00:21:52.696
- Much maniacal.
- 00:21:52.696 --> 00:21:54.030
- David is predictable in this circumstance.
- 00:21:54.030 --> 00:21:56.366
- And abigail is remarkable.
- 00:21:56.366 --> 00:21:59.503
- And these are our choices really.
- 00:21:59.503 --> 00:22:02.606
- And if you're not a jesus follower, you get to choose, and
- 00:22:02.606 --> 00:22:05.442
- Hopefully you will lean in more in one direction than the other,
- 00:22:05.442 --> 00:22:07.944
- But it's up to you.
- 00:22:07.944 --> 00:22:09.279
- You're the captain of your own ship.
- 00:22:09.279 --> 00:22:11.081
- But if you're a jesus follower, we're really only left with one
- 00:22:11.081 --> 00:22:17.387
- Option, and that's remarkable.
- 00:22:17.387 --> 00:22:20.223
- And the reason it's our only option is twofold.
- 00:22:20.223 --> 00:22:22.592
- Number one, we've been on the receiving end of remarkable and
- 00:22:22.592 --> 00:22:28.064
- We have been called to model it.
- 00:22:28.064 --> 00:22:31.034
- We don't call, you know, our remarkable abigail,
- 00:22:31.034 --> 00:22:33.703
- Amazing abigail.
- 00:22:33.703 --> 00:22:35.038
- We call ours amazing what?
- 00:22:35.038 --> 00:22:36.406
- Amazing grace, that while we were still sinners, christ died
- 00:22:36.406 --> 00:22:39.543
- For our sins.
- 00:22:39.543 --> 00:22:40.911
- And then jesus, who died for our sins, says, "now, i want you to
- 00:22:40.911 --> 00:22:43.814
- Not just believe in me or believe things about me.
- 00:22:43.814 --> 00:22:46.583
- I want you to get up every single day and follow me."
- 00:22:46.583 --> 00:22:49.653
- To which you may be tempted to say, "well, what does that
- 00:22:49.653 --> 00:22:51.621
- Look like?"
- 00:22:51.621 --> 00:22:52.956
- And jesus would smile and say, "well, you should know by now.
- 00:22:52.956 --> 00:22:55.525
- If you're gonna follow me, it means you emulate me, which
- 00:22:55.525 --> 00:22:57.861
- Means i want you to love your enemies."
- 00:22:57.861 --> 00:23:00.764
- To which we say, "you mean tolerate and ignore?"
- 00:23:00.764 --> 00:23:02.666
- He says, "no, i mean love, love as in," and here's his words,
- 00:23:02.666 --> 00:23:07.571
- His words, "i want you to do good.
- 00:23:07.571 --> 00:23:12.075
- Not just ignore and not just not be unkind.
- 00:23:12.075 --> 00:23:14.945
- I want you to do good to those who hate you."
- 00:23:14.945 --> 00:23:18.782
- To which we say, "i thought i was doing good just not to, you
- 00:23:18.782 --> 00:23:21.885
- Know, hurt him, hurt her, or let the air out of his tires, or you
- 00:23:21.885 --> 00:23:24.788
- Know, slit the air mattress, and put all of his clothes out on
- 00:23:24.788 --> 00:23:26.823
- The street, and change the locks.
- 00:23:26.823 --> 00:23:28.158
- I mean, i thought i was already doing good because of what i
- 00:23:28.158 --> 00:23:30.527
- Hadn't done."
- 00:23:30.527 --> 00:23:31.895
- Jesus says, "no, that's not what i'm talkin' about.
- 00:23:31.895 --> 00:23:33.296
- And i want you to bless those, i want you to bless those who
- 00:23:33.296 --> 00:23:35.932
- Curse you.
- 00:23:35.932 --> 00:23:37.334
- And i want you to pray for those who mistreat you."
- 00:23:37.334 --> 00:23:43.573
- Does anybody do this?
- 00:23:43.573 --> 00:23:45.575
- To pray for the--if we're honest, we would say, "i don't
- 00:23:45.575 --> 00:23:48.211
- Even spend a lot of time praying for the people who treat
- 00:23:48.211 --> 00:23:50.981
- Me well."
- 00:23:50.981 --> 00:23:52.349
- And jesus says, "i want you to pray for those who mistreat you.
- 00:23:52.349 --> 00:23:56.119
- I want you to pray for the mean people.
- 00:23:56.119 --> 00:23:59.623
- I don't want you to do something to them, i want you to do
- 00:23:59.623 --> 00:24:04.928
- Something for them," because that's how you keep from
- 00:24:04.928 --> 00:24:11.101
- Becoming like them.
- 00:24:11.101 --> 00:24:13.637
- But there's a bonus.
- 00:24:13.637 --> 00:24:14.971
- Jesus says, "when you do to them and for them what they don't
- 00:24:14.971 --> 00:24:18.708
- Deserve for you to do, and when you pray for them, and when you
- 00:24:18.708 --> 00:24:23.713
- Do good to them, you actually become like your father in
- 00:24:23.713 --> 00:24:29.286
- Heaven, because he is also kind to the ungrateful and
- 00:24:29.286 --> 00:24:35.225
- The wicked."
- 00:24:35.225 --> 00:24:37.060
- So got some mean people in your life?
- 00:24:37.060 --> 00:24:41.197
- Parents, do your children have some mean people in their lives?
- 00:24:41.197 --> 00:24:45.201
- And because your children have mean people in their lives, you
- 00:24:45.201 --> 00:24:47.537
- Know, if anybody mistreats my kids, it's like they're
- 00:24:47.537 --> 00:24:49.339
- Mistreating me.
- 00:24:49.339 --> 00:24:51.174
- But what would it look like in your circumstances to actually
- 00:24:51.174 --> 00:24:55.345
- Do good to those who hate you?
- 00:24:55.345 --> 00:24:58.481
- What would it look like to return good for evil?
- 00:24:58.481 --> 00:25:04.921
- As things continued to escalate with roger, he threatened to sue
- 00:25:04.921 --> 00:25:10.961
- Our real estate agent.
- 00:25:10.961 --> 00:25:12.329
- I mean, it just got completely out of control.
- 00:25:12.329 --> 00:25:14.698
- About six days before closing, the closing that we weren't sure
- 00:25:14.698 --> 00:25:18.635
- Was going to happen because he wasn't about to move out, and of
- 00:25:18.635 --> 00:25:21.371
- Course you're not gonna close on a house with somebody living
- 00:25:21.371 --> 00:25:24.341
- In it.
- 00:25:24.341 --> 00:25:25.709
- I mean, it was just so weird.
- 00:25:25.709 --> 00:25:27.043
- I walk into the kitchen, and sandra had been baking.
- 00:25:27.043 --> 00:25:28.411
- And she had cookie sheets out with muffins out that were
- 00:25:28.411 --> 00:25:31.414
- Cooling, and then there was a paper plate with six muffins
- 00:25:31.414 --> 00:25:34.751
- With some cellophane over it.
- 00:25:34.751 --> 00:25:36.486
- And clearly she was gonna take these muffins to somebody, which
- 00:25:36.486 --> 00:25:39.089
- She does all the time.
- 00:25:39.089 --> 00:25:40.423
- And i said, "who are these for?
- 00:25:40.423 --> 00:25:42.125
- And she looked at me and smiled."
- 00:25:42.125 --> 00:25:43.493
- She said, "they're for roger."
- 00:25:43.493 --> 00:25:45.962
- And i'm like, "what?"
- 00:25:45.962 --> 00:25:48.598
- And she said, "they're for roger."
- 00:25:48.598 --> 00:25:49.933
- I'm just like, "darling, really?"
- 00:25:49.933 --> 00:25:51.601
- And here's what she said.
- 00:25:51.601 --> 00:25:53.403
- She said, "i have to do this for me.
- 00:25:53.403 --> 00:25:57.307
- I have to do this for me.
- 00:25:57.307 --> 00:25:59.843
- I have to do something for him.
- 00:25:59.843 --> 00:26:03.780
- I have to do something for him, and this is the best thing i
- 00:26:03.780 --> 00:26:08.852
- Could come up with."
- 00:26:08.852 --> 00:26:10.186
- So, she went out in the garage, got on her donkey, and rode
- 00:26:10.186 --> 00:26:15.425
- To lawrenceville.
- 00:26:15.425 --> 00:26:16.993
- Now, her plan was to get there and leave the muffins on his
- 00:26:16.993 --> 00:26:19.696
- Car, and then text him and say, "hey, roger," you know?
- 00:26:19.696 --> 00:26:22.632
- He was outside.
- 00:26:22.632 --> 00:26:24.067
- They had a very awkward conversation.
- 00:26:24.067 --> 00:26:27.037
- She left the muffins.
- 00:26:27.037 --> 00:26:28.738
- Didn't make a dent.
- 00:26:28.738 --> 00:26:30.273
- Sandra, she would tell you, she was free.
- 00:26:30.273 --> 00:26:34.511
- And then four days before the closing was to take place,
- 00:26:34.511 --> 00:26:38.314
- After, again, all kinds of just crazy stuff, he finally took his
- 00:26:38.314 --> 00:26:42.786
- Stuff and he left.
- 00:26:42.786 --> 00:26:46.456
- But here's the point for all of us.
- 00:26:46.456 --> 00:26:48.291
- Let's not write a predictable story.
- 00:26:48.291 --> 00:26:52.362
- Let's not write--let's not write an evil for evil story.
- 00:26:52.362 --> 00:26:57.000
- It's so predictable.
- 00:26:57.000 --> 00:26:58.368
- It's what everybody expects you to do.
- 00:26:58.368 --> 00:27:00.003
- It's what you're justified.
- 00:27:00.003 --> 00:27:01.571
- Your friends will say, "well, of course that's what you did."
- 00:27:01.571 --> 00:27:04.507
- This is our moment.
- 00:27:04.507 --> 00:27:05.875
- This is our opportunity.
- 00:27:05.875 --> 00:27:07.210
- The meaner they are, the meaner they are, the brighter our light
- 00:27:07.210 --> 00:27:14.250
- Has an opportunity to shine.
- 00:27:14.250 --> 00:27:16.653
- And i know that because i don't know your circumstances, i know
- 00:27:16.653 --> 00:27:18.822
- That's so easy for me to stand up here and say, but i'm not
- 00:27:18.822 --> 00:27:22.025
- Asking you to follow me.
- 00:27:22.025 --> 00:27:23.960
- I'm just trying to inspire you and encourage you to follow our
- 00:27:23.960 --> 00:27:27.831
- Savior and to write a remarkable story to do for others precisely
- 00:27:27.831 --> 00:27:35.405
- What they don't deserve for you to do.
- 00:27:35.405 --> 00:27:39.676
- And it may not, in fact, it probably won't change anything
- 00:27:39.676 --> 00:27:42.278
- In them, but it will do something for you.
- 00:27:42.278 --> 00:27:47.250
- Andy: hey everybody, thank you so much for tuning in.
- 00:27:47.317 --> 00:27:49.352
- If you'd like to watch this episode again or share it with a
- 00:27:49.352 --> 00:27:52.188
- Friend, head on over to the website at the bottom of
- 00:27:52.188 --> 00:27:54.290
- The screen.
- 00:27:54.290 --> 00:27:55.658
- The website is the best place for you to find other "your
- 00:27:55.658 --> 00:27:58.261
- Move" episodes, access additional resources, and learn
- 00:27:58.261 --> 00:28:01.030
- More about our mission to engage culture with the teaching of
- 00:28:01.030 --> 00:28:04.334
- Jesus because we're convinced following jesus will make your
- 00:28:04.334 --> 00:28:07.303
- Life better and make the world a better place,
- 00:28:07.303 --> 00:28:10.173
- And now it's your move.
- 00:28:10.173 --> 00:28:12.208
- ♪♪♪
- 00:28:12.542 --> 00:28:22.786
- ...
- 00:28:26.022 --> 00:28:29.010