Andy Stanley - Modern Men (Part 1)

June 12, 2026 | 28:29

Andy Stanley

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Your Move with Andy Stanley | Andy Stanley - Modern Men (Part 1) | June 12, 2026
  • Andy stanley: hi, everybody, welcome to "your move," where we
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  • Help you make better decisions and live with fewer regrets.
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  • I'm andy stanley, and i'll be your guide; and today, i'm
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  • Offering some free, unoriginal, time-tested advice that will all
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  • But ensure that you don't break the rules that have the
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  • Potential to break you.
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  • It's advice worth considering, so stick around.
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  • I think you'll be glad you did.
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  • ♪♪♪
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  • Andy: so today's message is actually just for men.
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  • Fathers for sure, but not just fathers, just all the men, men
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  • In general.
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  • All of us men--this is not a religious thing.
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  • It's not a christian thing, it's just a--it's a male thing.
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  • All of us, every one of us men, we have all made a decision.
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  • And we're pretty confident that we've made the right decision,
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  • But i wanna make sure we've made the right decision.
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  • So this week and next time we're together, i wanna poke around on
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  • The decision that we've made to make sure we have it right
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  • Because it's important for all of us in terms of the decision
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  • We've made as men, but it's especially important for those
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  • Of us who are fathers because we're going to impose our
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  • Decision on our sons and we're going to create expectations for
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  • Our daughters.
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  • And the decision that i'm referring to that you've already
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  • Made, even though you don't know that you've made it because we
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  • Don't make it consciously but we've all made it--that's why
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  • We're surfacing it.
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  • The decision that i'm talking about is how we decide what it
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  • Means to be--or how we define or how we measure or how we pursue
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  • Or how we demonstrate masculinity.
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  • Specifically, to kind of bring it down a level, what it means
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  • To be a man, our picture.
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  • Again, our expectation, our expectation for ourselves, what
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  • We're shooting for, what we're aiming for 'cause we like to
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  • Shoot things and we like to aim things right.
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  • Our north star.
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  • And to get us started with this, i'm gonna give you a--basically
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  • A general definition of masculinity; and it has a lot of
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  • Wiggle room because we don't all see this the same way, and
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  • That's kind of the point of what we're gonna talk about today and
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  • Next time we're together.
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  • So here's kind of a general definition to kind of get us
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  • All started.
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  • Masculinity is--and i didn't make this up.
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  • This is from somewhere.
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  • A set of attributes, behaviors, and roles, attributes,
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  • Behaviors, and roles, a lot of wiggle room, generally--a lot of
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  • Wiggle room.
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  • Generally associated with men and with boys.
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  • So masculinity is a set of attributes, they're all--you
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  • Know, we probably put different things on that list, behaviors
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  • And roles generally associated with men and boys, and here's
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  • The thing about it.
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  • You're pretty sure you know what those attributes, behaviors, and
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  • Roles are, and i'm pretty sure i know what they are as well.
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  • If i were to ask you, you know, what does it mean to be a man,
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  • What is it--what are the attributes of a real man,
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  • Behaviors and roles, you would have an answer to that question,
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  • I would have an answer to that question, even though maybe
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  • You've never thought about it before because we assume that
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  • It's just kind of intuitive, it's just kind of self-evident.
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  • I mean, duh, you--i mean, you just know or you think you do.
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  • But do we?
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  • And the reason i'm not so sure that we necessarily do is
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  • Because, and this is why we're talking about this, and don't
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  • Leave early, to some degree, to some degree, to some degree
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  • Somebody who's not you defined masculinity for you and somebody
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  • Who's not me defined masculinity for me.
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  • And i'm gonna tell you a little bit more about that in just a
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  • Minute, but somebody who's not you actually defined this for
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  • You, that you were born into a family that gave you a
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  • Definition of masculinity or modeled something.
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  • You were born in--we're all born into a culture that says this is
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  • What it means to be a man.
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  • So there was some sense of expectation, and it was handed
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  • To you and it was handed to me and consequently it
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  • Feels intuitive.
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  • It feels like, "oh, everybody just knows this."
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  • Don't we all see it the same way?
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  • But it's not as intuitive as we think because somebody gave you
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  • A script just like somebody gave me a script, and it feels like a
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  • Weight, again, an expectation.
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  • In other words, "son, this is what it means to be a man."
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  • And maybe it was your father or your grandfather or an uncle or
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  • Whoever raised you.
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  • It might have been your mom, if you were raised by a single mom,
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  • Who said, "you know, son, this is what it looks like to be
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  • A man.
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  • This is what a man does.
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  • This is how a man behaves."
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  • But that this--this is what we're gonna talk about today,
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  • That this may or may not have fit your temperament.
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  • It may not have fit your disposition.
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  • It may or may not have matched your physicality or
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  • Your interest.
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  • If it did, you know, you just went with it.
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  • You just put that thing over your shoulders and you just went
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  • With it.
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  • You just lived it out because it fit you perfectly.
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  • I mean, the definition of masculinity and what it means to
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  • Be a man that my dad draped over my shoulders, it just fits so i
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  • Just went with it.
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  • I never had any conflict, right?
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  • I'm gonna tell you more about that in just a minute.
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  • But perhaps the this that you inherited, it fit you well, but
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  • Maybe it didn't fit your brother and he struggled.
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  • In fact, he struggled to be more like you.
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  • He struggled to be more like your father.
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  • And what did he do?
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  • Well, he did his best to drape that thing on and to live that
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  • Out, and he never felt like he measured up, never felt like he
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  • Matched, and you sensed the inse--created insecurity, and
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  • You saw that and there was this--again, there was this
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  • Unspoken pressure.
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  • "come on, you gotta man up.
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  • You gotta step up," right?
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  • And he did his best for a while.
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  • Or maybe the--different option was maybe the this was so
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  • Loosely defined that you just never felt that pressure.
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  • You were just free to be you.
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  • Now, here's something that escapes us, and this is the part
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  • I really don't want you to tune me out, okay, because if you
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  • Could think, "oh, i know what this is all about."
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  • Just hang with me, okay?
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  • To a large degree, not exclusively but to a large
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  • Degree--in fact, larger--to a larger degree that many of us
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  • Want to concede, masculinity really is a social and cultural
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  • Construct, as is femininity.
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  • Here's what i mean by that.
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  • Every generation and every culture within every generation
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  • Has its own version of or redefines or kind of tweaks the
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  • Definition of what it means to be a man or what masculinity
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  • Looks like or acts like or feels like or responds like.
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  • I'm going to give you one example and--granted this is
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  • Kind of extreme, but it makes the point.
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  • And i'm gonna let some of you guess in just a minute who
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  • I'm talking about, so don't say it out loud.
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  • One of history's most successful military leaders, i mean,
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  • Literally within the context of his culture a military and
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  • Political genius, even though they don't--didn't think in
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  • Political terms back then, but we would think in political
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  • Terms--military and political genius who led the largest
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  • Continental empire in medieval or modern history, in other
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  • Words, the empire that had the largest land mass, okay, this
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  • Particular individual because of how he viewed what it meant to
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  • Be a man and the expectations of his culture to be a man and what
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  • It meant to be masculine as a military leader, the--he viewed
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  • His responsibility as a leader and as a man to sire as many
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  • Children as possible by as many women as possible.
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  • Anybody wanna take a guess at who i'm talking about--who we're
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  • Talking about?
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  • Anybody?
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  • Yes, genghis khan.
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  • Heard it right over here.
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  • Founder of the mongol empire had hundreds and hundreds of
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  • Children by hundreds of women.
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  • Some say over 1,000 children, and the point being this.
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  • In other parts of the world and more of the western world, that
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  • Kind of behavior, even during that period of history, was
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  • Considered horrible.
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  • I mean, barbaric.
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  • I mean, this--somebody that would do that was considered a
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  • Monster, right?
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  • And by our standards, we would consider somebody who that was
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  • Their goal to be a monster, too.
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  • Now, hopefully--okay, i don't know you personally, but
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  • Hopefully the notion of siring as many children as possible by
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  • As many women as possible, that doesn't strike you as masculine,
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  • That strikes you as irresponsible.
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  • But why?
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  • Well, i know it's an extreme example because somebody gave
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  • You a script and gave me a script, fortunately, that says
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  • That's not what it means to be a man.
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  • That's horrible.
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  • My point is this, that our assumptions--and this is hard
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  • For some of us.
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  • I get it, especially with things going on in our culture today.
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  • Our assumptions regarding masculinity, they are not
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  • 100% intuitive.
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  • They are cultural, they are learned, and then
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  • They're reinforced.
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  • So we have to be careful who we're listening to, and we have
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  • To be careful who we're looking to to define for us what it
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  • Means to be a man.
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  • So let me ask you.
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  • What was the script?
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  • You don't answer this out loud, and you've not given this
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  • Any thought.
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  • I get it.
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  • What was the script you were handed by your father, or your
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  • Uncle, or your mom, or the group of people you were raised by, or
  • 00:08:36.534 --> 00:08:40.538
  • The culture you were raised in?
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  • What was that script?
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  • And i'll go first.
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  • As i thought about this with my dad, here's what i boiled it
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  • Down to.
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  • Now, my dad was a pastor, so there was a spiritual glaze that
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  • Got, you know, put over all of this; but if i just boil it down
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  • Humanly speaking, it came down to three things.
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  • Number one, respect women.
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  • Period.
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  • Number two, do your best.
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  • Number three, look your best.
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  • This is what it meant to be a man.
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  • There was more to it than that, but in terms of what it came
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  • Back to over and over and over, you respect women always, and
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  • You look your best, and you do your best.
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  • I--my grades were, "hey, did you do your best?"
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  • He was satisfied with it, that--over and over and over.
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  • Respect women, do your best, and look your best.
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  • He grew up very poor, grew up with a single mom.
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  • His father died when he was about 10 months old, so he never
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  • Knew his father; and his mom and dad had only--had been married
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  • Less than 2 years when his father passed away.
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  • So, of course, this shaped his value system.
  • 00:09:37.161 --> 00:09:40.164
  • Of course, it shaped what he saw really his--the filter for
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  • Everything in life, but especially what it meant to be
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  • A man because he saw his mom mistreated by men.
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  • So consequently, this was a really big deal.
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  • So when i was raised, "hey, you know, you can do a lot of things
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  • Wrong, but you never show disrespect to your mom and you
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  • Never disrespect your sister."
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  • That was a big, big deal.
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  • And i wore that and i liked that and then, lo and behold, i
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  • Thought it was just intuitive.
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  • When i began to raise my sons to respect their mom and respect
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  • Their sister, i thought, "well, this is just what men do."
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  • And then i realized i'm so glad my dad laid that on me.
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  • That's a good thing.
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  • But i didn't make that up, and i meet men all the time who that
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  • Just seems to be the furthest thing from their minds.
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  • And isn't it true it was family--it came from your family
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  • And came from culture and it just feels so normal and
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  • So natural?
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  • Whether it fit you or it didn't, it just feels like, "this must
  • 00:10:27.878 --> 00:10:30.314
  • Be what it means to be a man because this is what was
  • 00:10:30.314 --> 00:10:32.817
  • Expected of me."
  • 00:10:32.817 --> 00:10:34.185
  • And it wasn't defined.
  • 00:10:34.185 --> 00:10:35.519
  • Nobody wrote it down.
  • 00:10:35.519 --> 00:10:36.887
  • You just--it was just placed on your shoulders.
  • 00:10:36.887 --> 00:10:40.257
  • And for you, was it primarily externals?
  • 00:10:40.257 --> 00:10:42.893
  • Was it, you know, the normal stuff, sports and grades and
  • 00:10:42.893 --> 00:10:45.529
  • Scholarships, and, "son, you gotta get a good education so
  • 00:10:45.529 --> 00:10:47.932
  • You can make a lot of money and support your family?"
  • 00:10:47.932 --> 00:10:49.600
  • Was it those kinds of things?
  • 00:10:49.600 --> 00:10:50.935
  • I mean, those are all good.
  • 00:10:50.935 --> 00:10:52.536
  • Or was it more about character?
  • 00:10:52.536 --> 00:10:54.171
  • Who you were gonna become?
  • 00:10:54.171 --> 00:10:55.506
  • What was going on on the inside?
  • 00:10:55.506 --> 00:10:57.274
  • Or hopefully it was kind of a blend of both.
  • 00:10:57.274 --> 00:10:59.677
  • But either way, isn't it true it set an expectation?
  • 00:10:59.677 --> 00:11:03.080
  • And if the script fit, you wore it.
  • 00:11:03.080 --> 00:11:06.484
  • And if the script didn't fit, you struggled.
  • 00:11:06.484 --> 00:11:10.521
  • You doubted yourself.
  • 00:11:10.521 --> 00:11:11.922
  • It might have created some internal insecurity.
  • 00:11:11.922 --> 00:11:14.425
  • You attempted to prove yourself, or maybe you just gave up.
  • 00:11:14.425 --> 00:11:19.096
  • Then you come to church and you hear me say week after week,
  • 00:11:19.096 --> 00:11:23.634
  • "gentlemen, follow jesus."
  • 00:11:23.634 --> 00:11:27.138
  • And there's one group of you--i'm gonna give you
  • 00:11:27.138 --> 00:11:29.039
  • Permission to think this and feel this.
  • 00:11:29.039 --> 00:11:30.374
  • I get this.
  • 00:11:30.374 --> 00:11:31.742
  • I'm not as far removed from this as you would assume and as
  • 00:11:31.742 --> 00:11:33.844
  • You imagine.
  • 00:11:33.844 --> 00:11:35.179
  • There's one group of you, whenever i say this, you're
  • 00:11:35.179 --> 00:11:36.714
  • Like, "sweet passive jesus?
  • 00:11:36.714 --> 00:11:39.316
  • I cannot go there.
  • 00:11:39.316 --> 00:11:40.885
  • My wife loves all that stuff, but i cannot go and follow sweet
  • 00:11:40.885 --> 00:11:44.822
  • Passive jesus.
  • 00:11:44.822 --> 00:11:46.190
  • Okay, andy?
  • 00:11:46.190 --> 00:11:47.525
  • I mean, i like you and you're fine, but, you know--"
  • 00:11:47.525 --> 00:11:48.993
  • This is why a lot of men just don't like church,
  • 00:11:48.993 --> 00:11:50.728
  • And i understand that.
  • 00:11:50.728 --> 00:11:52.129
  • I am a man, i get that.
  • 00:11:52.129 --> 00:11:53.764
  • I was a man before i was a pastor.
  • 00:11:53.764 --> 00:11:55.332
  • Very difficult for you to imagine,
  • 00:11:55.332 --> 00:11:56.667
  • But it's absolutely true, right?
  • 00:11:56.667 --> 00:11:59.069
  • Andy: hey, i wanted to take just a minute to address a growing
  • 00:11:59.136 --> 00:12:02.006
  • Crisis in america.
  • 00:12:02.006 --> 00:12:03.374
  • Did you know that nearly 75 million americans have no
  • 00:12:03.374 --> 00:12:06.610
  • Religious affiliation, none whatsoever?
  • 00:12:06.610 --> 00:12:09.013
  • Most of us know some of these people.
  • 00:12:09.013 --> 00:12:10.447
  • Many of us are related to some of these people.
  • 00:12:10.447 --> 00:12:12.449
  • So for us they aren't statistics, they're people we
  • 00:12:12.449 --> 00:12:15.252
  • Love and would love to see return to faith in jesus.
  • 00:12:15.252 --> 00:12:18.455
  • So at "your move," we are committed to reaching people
  • 00:12:18.455 --> 00:12:21.392
  • With the teaching of jesus right where they are and when they
  • 00:12:21.392 --> 00:12:24.728
  • Least expect it.
  • 00:12:24.728 --> 00:12:26.096
  • We use a research-backed digital strategy that's already making
  • 00:12:26.096 --> 00:12:29.733
  • A difference.
  • 00:12:29.733 --> 00:12:31.068
  • So if you'll stick around after today's message, we would love
  • 00:12:31.068 --> 00:12:33.070
  • To tell you more about it, or visit the website or call the
  • 00:12:33.070 --> 00:12:36.340
  • Number on your screen to learn how you can be a part of this
  • 00:12:36.340 --> 00:12:38.509
  • Revolutionary approach to introducing and reintroducing
  • 00:12:38.509 --> 00:12:42.680
  • People to jesus.
  • 00:12:42.680 --> 00:12:45.015
  • Andy: so one group's like, "i just can't go there.
  • 00:12:45.082 --> 00:12:46.951
  • My wife can, but not me."
  • 00:12:46.951 --> 00:12:48.752
  • And i understand their frustration, and one of the
  • 00:12:48.752 --> 00:12:50.421
  • Reasons you don't love church is like, "well, my wife wants me to
  • 00:12:50.421 --> 00:12:52.656
  • Be more like jesus."
  • 00:12:52.656 --> 00:12:55.092
  • Or i'll give you another option, okay?
  • 00:12:55.092 --> 00:12:56.627
  • You probably don't even know about this one.
  • 00:12:56.627 --> 00:12:58.195
  • You would like revelation jesus.
  • 00:12:58.195 --> 00:13:00.397
  • Do you know about revelation jesus?
  • 00:13:00.397 --> 00:13:02.433
  • Revelation jesus is very different than matthew, mark,
  • 00:13:02.433 --> 00:13:04.835
  • Luke, and john jesus.
  • 00:13:04.835 --> 00:13:06.203
  • In fact, some of you just started reading the book
  • 00:13:06.203 --> 00:13:07.538
  • Of revelation.
  • 00:13:07.538 --> 00:13:08.906
  • It's very confusing, but you'll find him in there somewhere.
  • 00:13:08.906 --> 00:13:10.541
  • In the book of revelation, jesus shows up.
  • 00:13:10.541 --> 00:13:12.810
  • He is not meek and mild jesus.
  • 00:13:12.810 --> 00:13:14.245
  • He is riding a white horse.
  • 00:13:14.245 --> 00:13:16.013
  • He is covered in the blood, not his blood, the blood of his
  • 00:13:16.013 --> 00:13:20.084
  • Enemies, and there is a sword coming out of his mouth.
  • 00:13:20.084 --> 00:13:24.421
  • "bring it.
  • 00:13:24.421 --> 00:13:25.756
  • That's the--i mean, come on, i--okay, my wife didn't tell me
  • 00:13:25.756 --> 00:13:28.158
  • About that jesus.
  • 00:13:28.158 --> 00:13:29.526
  • Now we're talking about somebody i can follow."
  • 00:13:29.526 --> 00:13:30.861
  • And here's how it ends in the book of revelation, okay?
  • 00:13:30.861 --> 00:13:33.931
  • "the rest were killed with the sword coming out of the mouth of
  • 00:13:33.931 --> 00:13:38.602
  • The rider on the horse."
  • 00:13:38.602 --> 00:13:39.970
  • That's jesus.
  • 00:13:39.970 --> 00:13:41.305
  • "and all the birds gorged themselves on their flesh."
  • 00:13:41.305 --> 00:13:45.843
  • And in the book of revelation, this is called the supper of
  • 00:13:45.843 --> 00:13:48.879
  • God, a battlefield covered with the dead enemies of jesus, and
  • 00:13:48.879 --> 00:13:54.752
  • The birds descend and they start with this--i won't go there.
  • 00:13:54.752 --> 00:13:58.489
  • It's so awful and so gross you can almost smell it when you
  • 00:13:58.489 --> 00:14:02.026
  • Read it, and you read--and you watch that and you think, "i
  • 00:14:02.026 --> 00:14:04.428
  • Would watch that movie.
  • 00:14:04.428 --> 00:14:05.763
  • In fact, now what--that's in the bible?"
  • 00:14:05.763 --> 00:14:07.698
  • Yes, this is revelation jesus.
  • 00:14:07.698 --> 00:14:10.434
  • You're like, "where's that guy been," right?
  • 00:14:10.434 --> 00:14:12.670
  • But there are many christians, many christian men, i've become
  • 00:14:12.670 --> 00:14:16.674
  • One over the years, who actually identify with turn the other
  • 00:14:16.674 --> 00:14:21.011
  • Cheek, love one another, stop on your way, wherever you're going,
  • 00:14:21.011 --> 00:14:25.382
  • To help somebody who needs help, stop for women and children.
  • 00:14:25.382 --> 00:14:29.353
  • Jesus, who refused to torch his enemies on his way to jerusalem.
  • 00:14:29.353 --> 00:14:33.190
  • We've talked about this before, and the disciples--they're
  • 00:14:33.190 --> 00:14:35.025
  • Supposed to stay in--they're going through samaria, you know.
  • 00:14:35.025 --> 00:14:37.594
  • They're not supposed to be in samaria, and they send, you
  • 00:14:37.594 --> 00:14:40.164
  • Know, a couple of disciples ahead to find out,
  • 00:14:40.164 --> 00:14:42.232
  • "hey, can we spend the night in your village?
  • 00:14:42.232 --> 00:14:43.701
  • We're on our way to jerusalem."
  • 00:14:43.701 --> 00:14:45.069
  • And the samaritans say, "no, we don't want you
  • 00:14:45.069 --> 00:14:46.403
  • In our village 'cause you're going to jerusalem,
  • 00:14:46.403 --> 00:14:47.771
  • And we're not like you."
  • 00:14:47.771 --> 00:14:49.139
  • And the two of the disciples say to jesus, "can we just torch the
  • 00:14:49.139 --> 00:14:51.241
  • Whole village?"
  • 00:14:51.241 --> 00:14:52.609
  • They ask him that.
  • 00:14:52.609 --> 00:14:53.944
  • "can we torch the town?"
  • 00:14:53.944 --> 00:14:55.612
  • Jesus is like, "no, we can't torch the town."
  • 00:14:55.612 --> 00:15:00.351
  • So this is the dilemma.
  • 00:15:00.351 --> 00:15:02.152
  • This is where we live.
  • 00:15:02.152 --> 00:15:03.520
  • This is why we're talking about it.
  • 00:15:03.520 --> 00:15:05.055
  • How do we reconcile all of this as christian men, as men who
  • 00:15:05.055 --> 00:15:09.526
  • Want to follow jesus, whatever version of jesus we find?
  • 00:15:09.526 --> 00:15:14.498
  • Is it jesus of the gospels?
  • 00:15:14.498 --> 00:15:16.700
  • Is it jesus in the book of revelation?
  • 00:15:16.700 --> 00:15:19.336
  • Is it the script that my dad put on my shoulders and that your
  • 00:15:19.336 --> 00:15:22.573
  • Uncle and your grandfather and your father maybe put around?
  • 00:15:22.573 --> 00:15:24.875
  • Is that the version, the scripts that are prescribed to us
  • 00:15:24.875 --> 00:15:28.345
  • By culture?
  • 00:15:28.345 --> 00:15:29.680
  • How do we decide how to define what it means to be a man?
  • 00:15:29.680 --> 00:15:35.486
  • Here's why this is so important.
  • 00:15:35.486 --> 00:15:37.354
  • And what should we point our sons and our daughters toward?
  • 00:15:37.354 --> 00:15:41.025
  • Do christian men need to man up?
  • 00:15:41.025 --> 00:15:43.694
  • There's a movement right now among churches christian men
  • 00:15:43.694 --> 00:15:46.130
  • Need to man up and the--where i get it is that pastors need to
  • 00:15:46.130 --> 00:15:49.099
  • Step up.
  • 00:15:49.099 --> 00:15:50.534
  • And when i read this literature and i watch these messages, it's
  • 00:15:50.534 --> 00:15:54.004
  • Like basically they want us to man up based on an ancient
  • 00:15:54.004 --> 00:15:59.176
  • Testosterone-induced version of masculinity that honestly would
  • 00:15:59.176 --> 00:16:05.649
  • Scare you, okay?
  • 00:16:05.649 --> 00:16:07.418
  • But somehow there's this movement that we need to man up,
  • 00:16:07.418 --> 00:16:10.721
  • We need to step up.
  • 00:16:10.721 --> 00:16:12.356
  • Is that the case?
  • 00:16:12.356 --> 00:16:13.724
  • How do we know?
  • 00:16:13.724 --> 00:16:15.059
  • How do we define it?
  • 00:16:15.059 --> 00:16:16.427
  • And the truth is we're not all the same.
  • 00:16:16.427 --> 00:16:18.262
  • Now, some of us are, you know, aggressive and some of us are
  • 00:16:18.262 --> 00:16:20.931
  • Passive aggressive and some of us are, you know, like we just
  • 00:16:20.931 --> 00:16:24.068
  • Can't do enough and get enough done and there's a wake of
  • 00:16:24.068 --> 00:16:27.037
  • Relational, you know, stuff behind us that we can't fix
  • 00:16:27.037 --> 00:16:29.873
  • Because we're so progress-oriented.
  • 00:16:29.873 --> 00:16:31.809
  • There are others of us that are so dialed into the relationships
  • 00:16:31.809 --> 00:16:34.611
  • Of people around us.
  • 00:16:34.611 --> 00:16:35.946
  • Is one right and one's wrong?
  • 00:16:35.946 --> 00:16:37.314
  • How do we know how to define masculinity, and what does it
  • 00:16:37.314 --> 00:16:40.584
  • Mean to be a man if you're gonna follow jesus?
  • 00:16:40.584 --> 00:16:43.654
  • And i'm convinced--that's why i wanted to talk about it for 2
  • 00:16:43.654 --> 00:16:46.490
  • Weeks 'cause there's just too much to cover in one.
  • 00:16:46.490 --> 00:16:48.725
  • I'm absolutely convinced, more convinced than ever that the
  • 00:16:48.725 --> 00:16:51.829
  • Answer to that question is actually found in jesus
  • 00:16:51.829 --> 00:16:54.598
  • Of nazareth.
  • 00:16:54.598 --> 00:16:56.567
  • Jesus not as presented in the book of revelation, jesus of
  • 00:16:56.567 --> 00:17:00.370
  • Nazareth as known by the men and women who knew him, walked with
  • 00:17:00.370 --> 00:17:05.109
  • Him, listened to him, taught with him, and then took his
  • 00:17:05.109 --> 00:17:08.579
  • Message all over the world.
  • 00:17:08.579 --> 00:17:10.948
  • Men like matthew who documented the life of jesus, men like john
  • 00:17:10.948 --> 00:17:13.884
  • Who documented the life of jesus, they were there the
  • 00:17:13.884 --> 00:17:15.519
  • Whole time.
  • 00:17:15.519 --> 00:17:16.854
  • Men like peter who were there from day one.
  • 00:17:16.854 --> 00:17:18.622
  • Peter who calloused hands, sunburned.
  • 00:17:18.622 --> 00:17:22.626
  • I mean, a man--i mean, just physical, manual labor peter,
  • 00:17:22.626 --> 00:17:26.263
  • Who had to learn so many things when it came to following jesus
  • 00:17:26.263 --> 00:17:28.599
  • And then became the leader of the entire group later on.
  • 00:17:28.599 --> 00:17:31.735
  • Somehow he figured out how to bring the world of his manliness
  • 00:17:31.735 --> 00:17:35.139
  • Together with the teaching of jesus.
  • 00:17:35.139 --> 00:17:37.908
  • And i'm absolutely convinced, regardless of what kind of man
  • 00:17:37.908 --> 00:17:40.077
  • You are and what you've experienced in life and the way
  • 00:17:40.077 --> 00:17:41.879
  • That you're wired, that in jesus we find the ultimate picture of
  • 00:17:41.879 --> 00:17:46.483
  • A man, of masculinity.
  • 00:17:46.483 --> 00:17:48.952
  • And it doesn't make us all the same, it makes us all better.
  • 00:17:48.952 --> 00:17:56.326
  • Jesus, who was in fact, it's so interesting, a descendant of
  • 00:17:56.326 --> 00:17:59.997
  • David the giant killer, david the warrior, who emerged from
  • 00:17:59.997 --> 00:18:05.502
  • Battle covered in the blood of his enemies, literally, versus
  • 00:18:05.502 --> 00:18:10.140
  • Jesus, who emerges from his final battle covered in his
  • 00:18:10.140 --> 00:18:16.914
  • Own blood.
  • 00:18:16.914 --> 00:18:18.282
  • Jesus, the ultimate man.
  • 00:18:18.282 --> 00:18:21.251
  • I mean, to put it in terms that some of us can identify with, he
  • 00:18:21.251 --> 00:18:23.854
  • Literally was tougher than roman nails.
  • 00:18:23.854 --> 00:18:26.323
  • He was harder and unyielding as roman steel.
  • 00:18:26.323 --> 00:18:31.962
  • He was by one descriptor the lion of judah, who in the
  • 00:18:31.962 --> 00:18:37.601
  • End--and i know i come back to this narrative over and over and
  • 00:18:37.601 --> 00:18:40.204
  • It's because i didn't--when i was raised in the church, i
  • 00:18:40.204 --> 00:18:42.706
  • Never heard this until i began to study for myself the
  • 00:18:42.706 --> 00:18:45.509
  • Significance of this.
  • 00:18:45.509 --> 00:18:46.877
  • Who in the end--the lion of you, who in the end fearlessly,
  • 00:18:46.877 --> 00:18:51.081
  • Voluntarily marched into the lion's den of jerusalem, knowing
  • 00:18:51.081 --> 00:18:58.055
  • What was gonna happen to him, but not as the lion but as the
  • 00:18:58.055 --> 00:19:02.893
  • Lamb of god whose final act defined
  • 00:19:02.893 --> 00:19:12.269
  • What it means to be a man,
  • 00:19:12.269 --> 00:19:14.471
  • Whose final act defined and illustrated what it means to be
  • 00:19:14.471 --> 00:19:19.910
  • A man as god created men to be.
  • 00:19:19.910 --> 00:19:23.747
  • His final act dismantles and undermines all of our flawed,
  • 00:19:23.747 --> 00:19:29.953
  • Imbalanced, cultural family scripts.
  • 00:19:29.953 --> 00:19:37.494
  • His final moment are the way forward, i'm convinced, for
  • 00:19:37.494 --> 00:19:41.031
  • All men.
  • 00:19:41.031 --> 00:19:42.366
  • The alphas and the artists, you know, the collectors and the
  • 00:19:42.366 --> 00:19:46.103
  • Coders 'cause we're all so different.
  • 00:19:46.103 --> 00:19:49.306
  • Here's how the story really went.
  • 00:19:49.306 --> 00:19:50.641
  • You know this.
  • 00:19:50.641 --> 00:19:52.209
  • Here we are. this is what we're drawn to.
  • 00:19:52.209 --> 00:19:53.543
  • In fact, it's so interesting jesus at one point said, "if i'm
  • 00:19:53.543 --> 00:19:56.246
  • Lifted up--" talking about his crucifixion, "if i'm lifted up
  • 00:19:56.246 --> 00:20:00.217
  • And if people see this for what it really is and on the day that
  • 00:20:00.217 --> 00:20:04.454
  • Everyone actually sees it for what it really is," he says, "i
  • 00:20:04.454 --> 00:20:07.224
  • Will draw all men to me, all kinds of men to me because in me
  • 00:20:07.224 --> 00:20:16.700
  • They will see the ultimate creation, the ultimate intent,
  • 00:20:16.700 --> 00:20:21.038
  • The ultimate purpose of what it means to be a man made in the
  • 00:20:21.038 --> 00:20:24.941
  • Image of our heavenly father."
  • 00:20:24.941 --> 00:20:28.478
  • There was nothing meek nor mild about your king or about your
  • 00:20:31.882 --> 00:20:36.920
  • Savior, and yet he was the one who stopped on his way to his
  • 00:20:36.920 --> 00:20:42.359
  • Most important appointment to heal a blind man.
  • 00:20:42.359 --> 00:20:49.433
  • You remember this.
  • 00:20:49.433 --> 00:20:50.801
  • "the people stood watching," waiting for him to die, "and the
  • 00:20:50.801 --> 00:20:56.239
  • Rulers even sneered at him."
  • 00:20:56.239 --> 00:20:57.674
  • They sneer at a--what kind of man mocks a dying man hanging
  • 00:20:57.674 --> 00:21:03.113
  • From a cross?
  • 00:21:03.113 --> 00:21:04.448
  • Not the winners.
  • 00:21:04.448 --> 00:21:05.916
  • Those are the losers.
  • 00:21:05.916 --> 00:21:07.984
  • "they sneered at him, and they said, 'he saved others; let him
  • 00:21:07.984 --> 00:21:11.288
  • Save himself."'
  • 00:21:11.288 --> 00:21:12.689
  • "come on, if you're really a king, we--hey, we know what we
  • 00:21:12.689 --> 00:21:16.460
  • Would do if we were in your situation."
  • 00:21:16.460 --> 00:21:19.563
  • And the soldiers who also came up, they mocked him and they
  • 00:21:19.563 --> 00:21:24.334
  • Said--and this is tame.
  • 00:21:24.334 --> 00:21:25.702
  • We don't know the words they used.
  • 00:21:25.702 --> 00:21:27.070
  • These were gritty soldiers.
  • 00:21:27.070 --> 00:21:30.474
  • The most--i mean, it's unimaginable what--the insults
  • 00:21:30.474 --> 00:21:33.310
  • They hurled at jesus as he died.
  • 00:21:33.310 --> 00:21:35.045
  • Things that wouldn't be scripted.
  • 00:21:35.045 --> 00:21:36.646
  • Things that wouldn't be written.
  • 00:21:36.646 --> 00:21:38.014
  • Things that would be--you know, things you couldn't share.
  • 00:21:38.014 --> 00:21:40.350
  • You just wouldn't document them.
  • 00:21:40.350 --> 00:21:42.519
  • You can imagine.
  • 00:21:42.519 --> 00:21:44.454
  • And they said, "if you're the king of the jews,
  • 00:21:44.454 --> 00:21:46.857
  • Save yourself."
  • 00:21:46.857 --> 00:21:48.225
  • In other words, "hey, a real king, a real man, he's not gonna
  • 00:21:48.225 --> 00:21:53.130
  • Allow himself to be defeated in public if he doesn't have to be
  • 00:21:53.130 --> 00:21:56.299
  • Defeated in public.
  • 00:21:56.299 --> 00:21:57.634
  • Real men don't allow themselves to be defeated at all.
  • 00:21:57.634 --> 00:22:00.570
  • And if you're supposedly a king, you're not acting like a king.
  • 00:22:00.570 --> 00:22:02.973
  • If you were really a king, you would not allow yourself to be
  • 00:22:02.973 --> 00:22:06.009
  • Taken, you would not have allowed yourself to
  • 00:22:06.009 --> 00:22:08.044
  • Be surprised.
  • 00:22:08.044 --> 00:22:09.413
  • There would be an army of followers, but where's
  • 00:22:09.413 --> 00:22:10.847
  • Your army?
  • 00:22:10.847 --> 00:22:12.215
  • You're no king."
  • 00:22:12.215 --> 00:22:13.550
  • They assumed he could--this is important.
  • 00:22:13.550 --> 00:22:14.918
  • They assumed he could not save himself, but the truth was the
  • 00:22:14.918 --> 00:22:19.122
  • Superman, the ultimate man refused to save himself.
  • 00:22:19.122 --> 00:22:29.065
  • Because if he had saved himself, he would have forfeited his
  • 00:22:29.065 --> 00:22:33.270
  • Opportunity to save you and to save his accusers
  • 00:22:33.270 --> 00:22:40.777
  • And to save the world.
  • 00:22:40.777 --> 00:22:46.983
  • By refusing to do for himself what every one of his accusers
  • 00:22:46.983 --> 00:22:51.588
  • Would have done for themselves, he defined what it means to be a
  • 00:22:51.588 --> 00:22:57.561
  • Man and in that moment, in that moment he won a fight his
  • 00:22:57.561 --> 00:23:02.966
  • Accusers weren't even aware was being fought.
  • 00:23:02.966 --> 00:23:06.903
  • At the intersection--and this is what we're gonna kind of tease
  • 00:23:06.903 --> 00:23:10.006
  • Out next time.
  • 00:23:10.006 --> 00:23:11.541
  • At the intersection of lion and lamb, we find perfect
  • 00:23:11.541 --> 00:23:18.448
  • Masculinity on display.
  • 00:23:18.448 --> 00:23:21.351
  • At the cross, we're all confronted with a battle.
  • 00:23:21.351 --> 00:23:24.688
  • We're--at the cross, we're all confronted with a battle that
  • 00:23:24.688 --> 00:23:26.556
  • Every single man wrestles with, that every single man is invited
  • 00:23:26.556 --> 00:23:31.027
  • To fight, to join every single day; and it requires the courage
  • 00:23:31.027 --> 00:23:36.066
  • Of a lion, and it requires the humility of the lamb.
  • 00:23:36.066 --> 00:23:40.103
  • It's the battle to say no to me so i can say yes to the people
  • 00:23:43.139 --> 00:23:48.612
  • Around me.
  • 00:23:48.612 --> 00:23:51.014
  • It's the battle to deny myself and to control myself so i can
  • 00:23:51.014 --> 00:23:57.254
  • Give more of myself away.
  • 00:23:57.254 --> 00:24:02.092
  • So if you're a jesus's follower, men, men, if you're a jesus's
  • 00:24:02.092 --> 00:24:04.227
  • Follower, or you're attempting to be a jesus's follower or
  • 00:24:04.227 --> 00:24:05.962
  • You're considering being a jesus's follower, this is the
  • 00:24:05.962 --> 00:24:09.332
  • Script, this is the script.
  • 00:24:09.332 --> 00:24:12.903
  • That's the script we're to pass on to our sons.
  • 00:24:12.903 --> 00:24:15.972
  • I feel like in so many ways it's certainly part of--even though
  • 00:24:15.972 --> 00:24:18.308
  • He didn't use this language, this is part of the script that
  • 00:24:18.308 --> 00:24:21.278
  • My dad handed off to me and draped around my shoulders as it
  • 00:24:21.278 --> 00:24:24.047
  • Relates to honoring and respecting women that translates
  • 00:24:24.047 --> 00:24:27.450
  • Ultimately to honor and respecting other people.
  • 00:24:27.450 --> 00:24:32.255
  • This is the script, men, that we are to model for our daughters.
  • 00:24:32.255 --> 00:24:36.993
  • Paul said it this way.
  • 00:24:36.993 --> 00:24:38.328
  • He said jesus--this is so amazing.
  • 00:24:38.328 --> 00:24:41.331
  • Paul wrote it this way.
  • 00:24:41.331 --> 00:24:42.666
  • Again, this is after the resurrection--years after
  • 00:24:42.666 --> 00:24:44.034
  • The resurrection.
  • 00:24:44.034 --> 00:24:45.368
  • Paul, who wrote this--remember, i know we talk about this
  • 00:24:45.368 --> 00:24:46.870
  • All the time, paul was a violent man.
  • 00:24:46.870 --> 00:24:50.073
  • Paul was absolutely insistent that he was gonna put the church
  • 00:24:50.073 --> 00:24:52.976
  • Out of business, and he leveraged all of his skills and
  • 00:24:52.976 --> 00:24:55.912
  • All of his activist intuition and--to get it done, and then he
  • 00:24:55.912 --> 00:25:00.116
  • Meets jesus and he goes on to impact the world.
  • 00:25:00.116 --> 00:25:05.555
  • But he writes these words about jesus, again, looking back after
  • 00:25:05.555 --> 00:25:08.191
  • The resurrection, that jesus who was in very nature god, he was
  • 00:25:08.191 --> 00:25:13.096
  • God in a body, never leveraged his position with god to his
  • 00:25:13.096 --> 00:25:18.735
  • Own advantage.
  • 00:25:18.735 --> 00:25:20.770
  • He never played the god card one single time.
  • 00:25:20.770 --> 00:25:24.441
  • His strength was in his self-control.
  • 00:25:24.441 --> 00:25:28.078
  • His power was in his others' firstness.
  • 00:25:28.078 --> 00:25:31.147
  • He had so reined in and harnessed himself that he was
  • 00:25:31.147 --> 00:25:34.718
  • Able to give himself away.
  • 00:25:34.718 --> 00:25:38.588
  • And then he writes this, talking about jesus.
  • 00:25:38.588 --> 00:25:41.124
  • "and being found--" look what he says.
  • 00:25:41.124 --> 00:25:43.126
  • "and being found in appearance," as one of you and one of
  • 00:25:43.126 --> 00:25:48.765
  • Me--"and being found in appearance as a man,
  • 00:25:48.765 --> 00:25:52.435
  • He humbled himself."
  • 00:25:52.435 --> 00:25:55.138
  • He reigned himself in on your behalf.
  • 00:25:55.138 --> 00:26:02.812
  • He was lion.
  • 00:26:02.812 --> 00:26:05.181
  • He was lamb.
  • 00:26:05.181 --> 00:26:07.250
  • And, men, he invites all of us to follow him; to adopt his
  • 00:26:07.250 --> 00:26:12.589
  • Tone, his posture of humility, his approach to life,
  • 00:26:12.589 --> 00:26:17.494
  • His script.
  • 00:26:17.494 --> 00:26:19.029
  • And if we do, we will not all be the same, that's not the goal,
  • 00:26:19.029 --> 00:26:23.900
  • But we will all be better men and better friends and better
  • 00:26:23.900 --> 00:26:30.907
  • Fathers and better husbands because we will be like our
  • 00:26:30.907 --> 00:26:35.345
  • Savior, the super man, the perfect man.
  • 00:26:35.345 --> 00:26:41.384
  • And if you listen to all this and you think, "okay, andy, it's
  • 00:26:41.384 --> 00:26:44.254
  • Hard to argue with that, but you gotta be more specific.
  • 00:26:44.254 --> 00:26:47.057
  • Andy, could you be more specific?"
  • 00:26:47.057 --> 00:26:48.625
  • Yes, i can next week in part two of "modern men and our
  • 00:26:48.625 --> 00:26:55.331
  • Ancient scripts."
  • 00:26:55.331 --> 00:26:57.367
  • Don't miss it.
  • 00:26:57.367 --> 00:26:58.735
  • Andy: hey, thanks so much for watching.
  • 00:27:00.270 --> 00:27:01.971
  • You may find it hard to believe that 75 million americans claim
  • 00:27:01.971 --> 00:27:05.408
  • No religious affiliation.
  • 00:27:05.408 --> 00:27:07.544
  • On a personal note, perhaps you found it nearly impossible to
  • 00:27:07.544 --> 00:27:10.613
  • Believe that your son or your daughter or perhaps a grandchild
  • 00:27:10.613 --> 00:27:13.516
  • Drifted away from faith as part of that number.
  • 00:27:13.516 --> 00:27:16.319
  • This is a crisis culturally, and perhaps for you it's a
  • 00:27:16.319 --> 00:27:19.322
  • Crisis personally.
  • 00:27:19.322 --> 00:27:20.690
  • At "your move," we are committed to addressing that crisis.
  • 00:27:20.690 --> 00:27:24.594
  • We actually have a plan to solve it, but we need your help.
  • 00:27:24.594 --> 00:27:27.497
  • We've developed a digital online tool that invites people to take
  • 00:27:27.497 --> 00:27:30.900
  • A personal assessment that launches them on a journey that
  • 00:27:30.900 --> 00:27:34.270
  • Eventually intersects their questions with the teaching of
  • 00:27:34.270 --> 00:27:37.607
  • Jesus and ultimately with a bible-teaching church in
  • 00:27:37.607 --> 00:27:41.377
  • Their community.
  • 00:27:41.377 --> 00:27:42.746
  • Tens of thousands of people are currently engaged in this
  • 00:27:42.746 --> 00:27:45.348
  • Process, but we need your help to continue creating the bread
  • 00:27:45.348 --> 00:27:48.752
  • Crumbs, the content that keeps them moving forward on their
  • 00:27:48.752 --> 00:27:52.322
  • Faith journey.
  • 00:27:52.322 --> 00:27:53.723
  • We're attempting something that no one has ever attempted
  • 00:27:53.723 --> 00:27:56.593
  • Before, and it is already working.
  • 00:27:56.593 --> 00:27:58.661
  • To find out more, go to the website or call the number at
  • 00:27:58.661 --> 00:28:01.464
  • The bottom of the screen.
  • 00:28:01.464 --> 00:28:02.832
  • And as always, thank you so much for watching,
  • 00:28:02.832 --> 00:28:05.101
  • And now it's your move.
  • 00:28:05.101 --> 00:28:07.537
  • ♪♪♪
  • 00:28:07.604 --> 00:28:21.718
  • ...
  • 00:28:24.954 --> 00:28:29.010