Your Move with Andy Stanley — to help people make better decisions and live with fewer regrets.
#Peopleinyourlife
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Your Move with Andy Stanley | Andy Stanley - Paper Walls (Part 4) | September 27, 2025
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- Andy stanley: hey everybody, welcome to "your move" where we
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- Help you make better decisions and live with fewer regrets.
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- I'm andy stanley and i'll be your guide.
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- So there are two kinds of people in the world.
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- People who make excuses and people who make a difference.
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- Which one are you and which one do you wanna be?
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- That's what i thought.
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- Stick around and we'll talk about it right here on
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- "your move."
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- ♪♪♪
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- ♪♪♪
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- ♪♪♪
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- Andy: chances are at some point along the way you have
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- Heard it said that there are two kinds of people in
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- The world, right?
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- In fact, you've heard this so many times, that's the only part
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- Of it that you remember, right?
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- You can't even remember what comes after this.
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- This is what originally attributed to mark twain.
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- I assume he's the first person who popularized.
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- There are two kinds of people in the world and whatever follows
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- This is generally some sort of oversimplification.
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- But that's okay because simple things are sticky things and
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- Sometimes it's better to oversimplify something to
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- Remember it than to make it complicated and, you know, tease
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- It all out, but you can't remember anything that was said.
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- So there are two kinds of people in the world.
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- People who make a difference and people who make what?
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- Excuses.
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- Yeah, there are people who make a difference.
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- There are people who make excuses.
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- And so the question is which kind of person do you wanna be?
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- The kind of person that makes the world better, the kind of
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- Person that makes the people around them better?
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- Or do you want to be somebody who lives behind what we've
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- Called paper walls.
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- Behind the excuses that we disguise as reasons, but at the
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- End of the day, they're just excuses.
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- Today we're wrapping up our series if you haven't been with
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- Us, "paper walls: moving beyond the excuses that hold you back."
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- We've said throughout the series there are things that are worth
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- Carrying season to season, year to year, good friends, good
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- Habits, and there are things that need to be left behind once
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- And for all, and namely we're talking about excuses.
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- That whatever our excuses are, they need to be abandoned once
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- And for all.
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- We said throughout the series that excuses are a lot like
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- Paper walls that from a distance it looks real, it looks like an
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- Actual obstacle, it looks like there's no way through and we
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- Present it that way to ourselves and we present it that way to
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- Other people.
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- And then before we know it, our excuses, our excuses become our
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- Becauses, our becauses.
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- Becauses that we retreat to when certain topics come up, certain
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- People come up, certain challenges come up.
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- Becauses that we hide behind and defend ourselves with.
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- Well, why don't you? well, because.
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- Well, why haven't you? because.
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- Why do you always? because.
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- Why do you act that way? because.
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- Why don't you just give that up? because.
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- Why don't you just talk to her?
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- Why don't you just talk to him? because.
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- Why don't you just forgive them? because.
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- Why don't you call your dad? because.
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- Why don't you call your mom? because.
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- Why don't you reach out?
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- Why why? because, because, because.
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- And often, as we said, because isn't really the cause.
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- Our because is an excuse masquerading as a cause.
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- So in this series throughout we've asked this question and
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- I've tried to be gentle.
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- So i've, you know, i've posed the question in somewhat of
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- A gentle way.
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- Is it possible? is it possible?
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- Would you be open to considering?
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- Is it possible that you're missing out because you have
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- Walled yourself in?
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- Is it possible, is it possible that there is something on the
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- Other side of your excuses that is good?
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- Is there something on the other side of your excuses that you
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- Would benefit from?
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- Is there something on the other side of your excuses that would
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- Allow you to make the people around you better and make the
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- World better?
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- Now the truth is, and we could spend a lot of time on
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- This, but we won't.
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- Most of our paper walls or most of our excuses are fear based.
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- In my case, i almost didn't go to my graduate, the graduate
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- School that i really wanted to go to because i was afraid.
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- I was just afraid.
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- And of course, when people would ask and i would talk about it
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- With my family, i didn't say i'm afraid, i had other reasons.
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- I had several, but, you know, paper walls as to why i wasn't
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- Going to attend that particular graduate school, but i would
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- Never say it was because i was afraid because, you know, fear
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- Wasn't a reason you get fear of failure, isn't it true?
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- Fear of failure is very difficult to admit.
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- And the most difficult person it is to admit to is to ourselves.
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- But i was actually afraid of the academic rigor of that
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- Particular school.
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- I knew i could get in, but i may never get out.
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- It would be my "hotel california."
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- I would be there forever trying to make my way out because it
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- Was just gonna be too difficult.
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- So i just threw it out of my mind.
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- I'm not even gonna go there.
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- I didn't even fill out the app--i filled out half the
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- Application, then just quit and decided to go to another school.
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- And i was at home.
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- I was living in my parents' basement.
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- I had just finished georgia state university, getting ready
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- For grad school.
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- And my dad was out of town and he called me.
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- He literally called me on the phone.
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- I was gonna say he called me on it.
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- He did call me on it.
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- He called me on the phone.
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- And he knew, he knew that the reasons i had been giving him
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- And he had heard me give other people, they weren't
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- Really reasons.
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- They were excuses.
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- And he decided, you know what?
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- I'm gonna interfere and he called me and he challenged me.
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- And he didn't accuse me of being afraid, but you know what
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- He did?
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- He was so wise.
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- He led me right up to the paper wall and then he just left
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- Me there.
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- And he ended the phone call and no lie, i was so angry.
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- I was so angry at him because i already had a roommate, i'd
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- Already sent in my deposit for the other school.
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- I had already had a dorm.
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- I had everything worked out and now he's interfering with my
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- Plan because he knew i was making an excuse.
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- I was afraid, a failure.
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- And i changed my mind at the last minute and i went to the
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- School of my choice and i'm so extraordinarily, extraordinarily
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- Grateful that i did.
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- Now our fear comes from several things.
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- You know, oftentimes our fear that sort of is the seed bed for
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- Our excuses, it comes from our past experience.
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- There's something we experienced in the past and we don't ever
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- Wanna experience that again.
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- It may not be the exact same circumstances, but it creates
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- That same sense of fear.
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- Fear of abandonment or fear of failure or fear of just being
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- Embarrassed or ashamed.
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- But most of the time, i think we don't even know where it
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- Comes from.
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- We don't know, but there's something that just triggers, it
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- Just automatically triggers our because narrative and we just go
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- There over and over and over.
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- So off we go and then we don't grow and we're stuck.
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- Because you should know this, excuses are like kryptonite to
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- Your soul.
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- They slowly kill you on the inside, they kill us on the
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- Inside because we're not able to do the thing that we were
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- Created to do.
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- We're not able to be the person that we were created as we're
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- Gonna see in just a few minutes to be.
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- Andy: hey, i wanted to take just a minute to address a growing
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- Crisis in america.
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- Did you know that nearly 75 million americans have no
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- Religious affiliation, none whatsoever?
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- Most of us know some of these people.
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- Many of us are related to some of these people.
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- So for us, they aren't statistics, they're people we
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- Love and would love to see return to faith in jesus.
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- So at "your move," we are committed to reaching people
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- With the teaching of jesus right where they are and when they
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- Least expect it.
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- We use a research back digital strategy that's already making
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- A difference.
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- So if you'll stick around after today's message, we would love
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- To tell you more about it or visit the website or call the
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- Number on your screen to learn how you can be a part of this
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- Revolutionary approach to introducing and reintroducing
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- People to jesus.
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- Andy: excuses, and we don't do this on purpose, excuses make us
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- Small and excuses ultimately make us selfish and
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- Relationally, they make us unavailable because excuses are
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- Fueled by a lie or lies that we tell ourselves and then we don't
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- Think about it as lying, we end up lying to other people.
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- Andy, why aren't you gonna go to that school?
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- Here's why i'm not gonna go to that school.
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- And everything i said after that was a lie that i had
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- Internalized and then i told other people.
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- You'll miss out.
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- You miss out.
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- And then because of your excuse, the world misses out on you and
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- It's all because you've allowed or i've allowed an excuse to
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- Become the boss of me, a tyrant, a king.
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- A king that says, you can't try that, you'll fail.
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- You can't do that, you know what happened last time.
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- You shouldn't try that, somebody else has already done that.
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- Somebody else has already tried that.
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- Somebody else already wrote that.
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- Somebody else already started something like that.
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- Somebody else already did that or somebody else already failed
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- At that.
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- So you miss out, the world misses out on you, but here's
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- The worst thing, and here's what we're gonna talk about for just
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- A few minutes.
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- You run the risk, and i know you don't wanna do this, you run the
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- Risk of missing out on god's plan for you.
- 00:09:03.694 --> 00:09:07.632
- Now, i need you to just work with me for just a minute, and
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- Especially if you're not a christian or you're not even
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- Sure there is a god, just use your imagination with me for
- 00:09:13.337 --> 00:09:16.574
- Just a minute, okay?
- 00:09:16.574 --> 00:09:18.876
- If there is a personal god, and by personal god i mean a
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- Personal god who knows you, who knows maybe your name, who is
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- Aware of you.
- 00:09:27.718 --> 00:09:29.086
- So if there is a personal god who knows you.
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- And if god has invited you to interact with and speak to him
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- And respond to him as if he is a perfect father, a perfect
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- Heavenly father, and jesus said that is how we're to approach
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- God as a perfect heavenly father.
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- If that's the case, then think about it, the god of the
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- Universe may have a plan for your life.
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- And i don't mean on monday at 3 o'clock kind of plan.
- 00:09:54.912 --> 00:09:57.281
- I mean, the god of the universe may in fact have something
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- You're supposed to do with your life.
- 00:10:00.017 --> 00:10:02.920
- There may be something that is unique to you that god wants you
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- To do.
- 00:10:06.857 --> 00:10:08.225
- And if you're not careful, and if i'm not careful, we can miss
- 00:10:08.225 --> 00:10:11.996
- It because we live behind excuses and paper walls.
- 00:10:11.996 --> 00:10:17.301
- Now, this isn't original with me.
- 00:10:17.301 --> 00:10:19.303
- The apostle paul, who, as most of you know, steps onto the
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- Pages of history as saul of tarsus who hates christians.
- 00:10:22.673 --> 00:10:25.676
- You may hate christians in your mind.
- 00:10:25.676 --> 00:10:27.044
- He had had christians arrested and tortured, anyway.
- 00:10:27.044 --> 00:10:29.714
- And then he becomes one fascinating story, and then he
- 00:10:29.714 --> 00:10:33.084
- Becomes the most famous one ever.
- 00:10:33.084 --> 00:10:35.486
- And in a letter that he wrote to christians living in ephesus in
- 00:10:35.486 --> 00:10:38.656
- The first century, listen to what he says to them and what he
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- Says to you and what he says to me.
- 00:10:41.625 --> 00:10:42.993
- He writes, "for we," this is so powerful.
- 00:10:42.993 --> 00:10:45.196
- You may have, you've probably read this before or heard it
- 00:10:45.196 --> 00:10:47.064
- Before, "for we are god's creation."
- 00:10:47.064 --> 00:10:50.868
- Now think about this, anything that's created is created with
- 00:10:50.868 --> 00:10:55.272
- A purpose in mind.
- 00:10:55.272 --> 00:10:56.774
- Anything that's created is created with a purpose in mind.
- 00:10:56.774 --> 00:10:59.243
- Anything that's created is created as a means to an end
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- That's not the thing.
- 00:11:03.714 --> 00:11:05.683
- But then the apostle paul drops back and he addresses a subset
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- Of god's creation.
- 00:11:09.286 --> 00:11:10.621
- He says, we are all god's creation.
- 00:11:10.621 --> 00:11:13.157
- Some of us, because of a choice we've made, created in christ
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- Jesus or recreated in christ jesus, and this is the apostle
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- Paul's code terminology for new covenant.
- 00:11:20.264 --> 00:11:23.400
- Whenever the apostle paul writes in christ, he's talking about
- 00:11:23.400 --> 00:11:26.237
- People who have embraced jesus's new covenant.
- 00:11:26.237 --> 00:11:29.006
- When jesus said, i've come to establish a different kind of
- 00:11:29.006 --> 00:11:31.242
- Relationship between god and man.
- 00:11:31.242 --> 00:11:32.743
- I'm the mediator of a brand new contract, a brand new covenant.
- 00:11:32.743 --> 00:11:36.447
- And in this covenant, you enter it by placing your faith in me
- 00:11:36.447 --> 00:11:40.017
- And there's only one rule in this covenant.
- 00:11:40.017 --> 00:11:41.986
- You are to love other people as i have and i am about to
- 00:11:41.986 --> 00:11:45.489
- Love you.
- 00:11:45.489 --> 00:11:47.091
- And the apostle paul says, "for we are god's creation, created
- 00:11:47.091 --> 00:11:50.161
- In christ jesus," check this out, "to do good works."
- 00:11:50.161 --> 00:11:54.732
- That means that god has something for you to do.
- 00:11:54.732 --> 00:11:59.937
- God has a to do list for you.
- 00:11:59.937 --> 00:12:03.674
- And this isn't about being good for goodness sake or even for
- 00:12:03.674 --> 00:12:07.044
- Your sake.
- 00:12:07.044 --> 00:12:08.412
- This is if you're in the new covenant, this is about being
- 00:12:08.412 --> 00:12:10.014
- Good for the sake of the people around you and the world's sake.
- 00:12:10.014 --> 00:12:13.050
- And then listen to how he caps this off.
- 00:12:13.050 --> 00:12:15.085
- This is so powerful.
- 00:12:15.085 --> 00:12:16.487
- This should move us all beyond our excuses, "which god prepared
- 00:12:16.487 --> 00:12:23.394
- In advance for us to do."
- 00:12:23.394 --> 00:12:28.432
- I mean, just suspend your agnosticism for just a minute or
- 00:12:28.432 --> 00:12:32.303
- Your unbelief for just a minute and just imagine, just imagine.
- 00:12:32.303 --> 00:12:36.073
- This is why it's called good news because anything that's
- 00:12:36.073 --> 00:12:37.975
- Good news, you want it to be true even before you're
- 00:12:37.975 --> 00:12:39.543
- Convinced the truth.
- 00:12:39.543 --> 00:12:40.911
- I mean, imagine how good this news is that the god who
- 00:12:40.911 --> 00:12:45.049
- Breathed the universe into existence.
- 00:12:45.049 --> 00:12:49.053
- That the god who created everything, created you and
- 00:12:49.053 --> 00:12:52.823
- Knows you and has a purpose for your life.
- 00:12:52.823 --> 00:12:57.561
- What if god has a plan and a purpose for your life?
- 00:12:57.561 --> 00:13:03.234
- And what if you're missing it or missing part of it because
- 00:13:03.234 --> 00:13:08.372
- You're hiding out and you're excusing out and you're opting
- 00:13:08.372 --> 00:13:13.510
- Out of that good purpose for your life because of fear,
- 00:13:13.510 --> 00:13:17.781
- Because of insecurity, because of something somebody who
- 00:13:17.781 --> 00:13:20.718
- Doesn't even know you anymore labeled you, somebody who's not
- 00:13:20.718 --> 00:13:23.254
- Even around anymore called you.
- 00:13:23.254 --> 00:13:25.556
- Because there's something in your past that just undermined
- 00:13:25.556 --> 00:13:28.259
- Your self-esteem and undermined your, you know, your belief in
- 00:13:28.259 --> 00:13:31.395
- Yourself, all of which would be understood, you know, anybody
- 00:13:31.395 --> 00:13:33.464
- Who hears your story would understand, but what if that is
- 00:13:33.464 --> 00:13:36.467
- Holding you back from the thing god created you to do?
- 00:13:36.467 --> 00:13:41.538
- And who god created you to be.
- 00:13:41.538 --> 00:13:45.609
- Now, kind of pulling back for a minute, back to just everybody.
- 00:13:45.609 --> 00:13:49.513
- Here's the thing, regardless if you're a religious person or not
- 00:13:49.513 --> 00:13:51.582
- Or a christian person or not, this is so important, okay?
- 00:13:51.582 --> 00:13:54.485
- Excuses, and we don't think of it this way, but it's true.
- 00:13:54.485 --> 00:13:57.554
- Excuses are really a subtle way of refusing to take
- 00:13:57.554 --> 00:14:01.058
- Responsibility for our lives.
- 00:14:01.058 --> 00:14:04.094
- Excuses are really a subtle way of refusing to take
- 00:14:04.094 --> 00:14:06.597
- Responsibility and the reason you know that to be the case is
- 00:14:06.597 --> 00:14:09.500
- You've seen people, you know, they've excused their
- 00:14:09.500 --> 00:14:12.136
- Irresponsibility with excuses.
- 00:14:12.136 --> 00:14:14.138
- And you look at what they could be and should be, what they
- 00:14:14.138 --> 00:14:16.173
- Should do and the opportunities that come their way and they
- 00:14:16.173 --> 00:14:18.409
- Miss out on it and you feel like, goodness, you're just
- 00:14:18.409 --> 00:14:20.744
- Being irresponsible with the opportunities and the gifts,
- 00:14:20.744 --> 00:14:23.714
- You know, that come your way.
- 00:14:23.714 --> 00:14:25.049
- Now, so to wrap up, here's what i wanted to do.
- 00:14:25.049 --> 00:14:28.786
- Here's what i decided to do.
- 00:14:28.786 --> 00:14:30.154
- I'm gonna give you five not so easy steps for breaking through
- 00:14:30.154 --> 00:14:35.159
- Paper walls that hold you back.
- 00:14:35.159 --> 00:14:37.061
- But before we start with the list, i need just one disclaimer
- 00:14:37.061 --> 00:14:40.197
- Or really it's a warning.
- 00:14:40.197 --> 00:14:41.865
- If you work through this list and if you take it seriously,
- 00:14:41.865 --> 00:14:44.568
- You're going to get your feelings hurt by you.
- 00:14:44.568 --> 00:14:48.272
- You are going to have to hurt your own feelings, okay?
- 00:14:48.272 --> 00:14:52.409
- But if you will be honest with these questions, if you'll be
- 00:14:52.409 --> 00:14:54.945
- Honest with this process, you're gonna discover something about
- 00:14:54.945 --> 00:14:57.948
- You that may have the potential that has potential maybe to
- 00:14:57.948 --> 00:15:01.352
- Really change the whole trajectory of your life.
- 00:15:01.352 --> 00:15:04.021
- It'll certainly enrich your relationships.
- 00:15:04.021 --> 00:15:06.523
- And the thing is this, whatever you discover may be new to you,
- 00:15:06.523 --> 00:15:11.495
- But it will not be new to the people around you.
- 00:15:11.495 --> 00:15:14.732
- In fact, when you share what you've discovered that is an
- 00:15:14.732 --> 00:15:17.634
- Excuse rather than a cause, you may be, you know, you may be
- 00:15:17.634 --> 00:15:21.605
- Excited about this new revelation.
- 00:15:21.605 --> 00:15:23.407
- They won't be surprised.
- 00:15:23.407 --> 00:15:24.775
- They're gonna be relieved because they already know just
- 00:15:24.775 --> 00:15:30.314
- Like you already know.
- 00:15:30.314 --> 00:15:32.416
- We can smell an excuse a mile off unless we're the one
- 00:15:32.416 --> 00:15:37.921
- Who stinks.
- 00:15:37.921 --> 00:15:39.390
- I just made that up.
- 00:15:39.390 --> 00:15:40.724
- Okay, anyway.
- 00:15:40.724 --> 00:15:42.092
- So here's step number one.
- 00:15:42.092 --> 00:15:43.460
- Everybody ready?
- 00:15:43.460 --> 00:15:44.795
- Step number one, here we go.
- 00:15:44.795 --> 00:15:46.163
- Step number one, go through this quick.
- 00:15:46.163 --> 00:15:47.498
- Step number one, you gotta identify 'em.
- 00:15:47.498 --> 00:15:48.832
- You can't abandon an excuse you have failed to identify.
- 00:15:48.832 --> 00:15:51.435
- And the best way to identify an excuse, we've talked about this,
- 00:15:51.435 --> 00:15:54.405
- The best way to identify 'em is you have to get in the habit of
- 00:15:54.405 --> 00:15:57.074
- Listening to your becauses.
- 00:15:57.074 --> 00:15:59.610
- Listen to your becauses.
- 00:15:59.610 --> 00:16:01.545
- I can't, because.
- 00:16:01.545 --> 00:16:02.880
- I quit, because.
- 00:16:02.880 --> 00:16:04.214
- I won't, because.
- 00:16:04.214 --> 00:16:05.582
- I have this debt, because.
- 00:16:05.582 --> 00:16:06.917
- I'm out of shape, because.
- 00:16:06.917 --> 00:16:08.285
- The reason i don't exercise, because.
- 00:16:08.285 --> 00:16:09.620
- The reason, because, because.
- 00:16:09.620 --> 00:16:10.988
- Listen to your becauses because we have a tendency, you know,
- 00:16:10.988 --> 00:16:15.359
- It's a rut in the road we just go to the same becauses over
- 00:16:15.359 --> 00:16:18.062
- And over.
- 00:16:18.062 --> 00:16:19.430
- So listen to your becauses.
- 00:16:19.430 --> 00:16:20.764
- And when you catch yourself becausing and you realize,
- 00:16:20.764 --> 00:16:23.467
- You know what?
- 00:16:23.467 --> 00:16:24.835
- I think i say this just about every time she comes up,
- 00:16:24.835 --> 00:16:26.437
- He comes up, that comes up, the past comes up, you know,
- 00:16:26.437 --> 00:16:28.739
- You mention that.
- 00:16:28.739 --> 00:16:30.074
- I want you to write it down, even when you know it's
- 00:16:30.074 --> 00:16:32.543
- An excuse, okay?
- 00:16:32.543 --> 00:16:33.911
- Step number two.
- 00:16:33.911 --> 00:16:35.245
- First we're gonna identify 'em.
- 00:16:35.245 --> 00:16:36.613
- Second, second excuse, and, okay, this one, this is where
- 00:16:36.613 --> 00:16:40.451
- You might hurt your own feelings, okay?
- 00:16:40.451 --> 00:16:44.455
- You need to interrogate your becauses.
- 00:16:44.455 --> 00:16:47.424
- That is, you begin to ask the question why?
- 00:16:47.424 --> 00:16:51.261
- For example, why, why do i immediately opt for that
- 00:16:51.261 --> 00:16:55.399
- Particular because?
- 00:16:55.399 --> 00:16:56.733
- That's you're gonna interrogate your becauses.
- 00:16:56.733 --> 00:16:58.102
- You got a because here or several becauses.
- 00:16:58.102 --> 00:16:59.837
- Okay, i'm gonna interrogate 'em, i'm gonna ask these becauses
- 00:16:59.837 --> 00:17:01.905
- Some questions.
- 00:17:01.905 --> 00:17:03.240
- Why do i immediately opt for that particular because?
- 00:17:03.240 --> 00:17:06.710
- You need to know.
- 00:17:06.710 --> 00:17:08.378
- Why do i make that excuse whenever that topic comes up,
- 00:17:08.378 --> 00:17:11.915
- That part of my past comes up, that relationship comes up.
- 00:17:11.915 --> 00:17:15.419
- Why do i immediately go to that because?
- 00:17:15.419 --> 00:17:19.223
- You gotta ask really hard questions like, what am i
- 00:17:19.223 --> 00:17:21.658
- Afraid of?
- 00:17:21.658 --> 00:17:23.026
- I'm not afraid of anything.
- 00:17:23.026 --> 00:17:24.394
- Okay, we're all afraid of something, okay, so just get
- 00:17:24.394 --> 00:17:26.530
- Over that one.
- 00:17:26.530 --> 00:17:27.865
- What am i afraid of?
- 00:17:27.865 --> 00:17:29.233
- What, who am i afraid of?
- 00:17:29.233 --> 00:17:31.001
- Who--is there somebody i'm afraid of?
- 00:17:31.001 --> 00:17:33.403
- Ask yourself, i know this is hard.
- 00:17:33.403 --> 00:17:35.038
- Am i just being lazy?
- 00:17:35.038 --> 00:17:36.640
- Am i just refusing to move forward because i'm just being
- 00:17:36.640 --> 00:17:40.277
- Lazy, which means am i just being selfish because lazy and
- 00:17:40.277 --> 00:17:44.648
- Selfish generally go together.
- 00:17:44.648 --> 00:17:46.517
- Am i just being insecure?
- 00:17:46.517 --> 00:17:48.919
- Is this something that i know i ought to, i know i should, but i
- 00:17:48.919 --> 00:17:52.990
- Don't say to people i know i ought to, i know i should.
- 00:17:52.990 --> 00:17:55.058
- I give them the because, because, because,
- 00:17:55.058 --> 00:17:56.793
- Because, because.
- 00:17:56.793 --> 00:17:58.128
- And don't move ahead until you have an answer, until you've
- 00:17:58.128 --> 00:18:01.765
- Interrogated your becauses.
- 00:18:01.765 --> 00:18:03.700
- And here's why.
- 00:18:03.700 --> 00:18:05.202
- Because this is so important.
- 00:18:05.202 --> 00:18:06.570
- Your answer, if you'll do this, i'm telling you, if you do this,
- 00:18:06.570 --> 00:18:09.173
- Your answer will clarify whether or not it's an actual reason
- 00:18:09.173 --> 00:18:14.178
- Because there are some actual reasons why we don't do
- 00:18:14.178 --> 00:18:16.513
- Certain things.
- 00:18:16.513 --> 00:18:17.848
- If it's an actual reason or a made up reason.
- 00:18:17.848 --> 00:18:20.484
- If it's an actual brick wall or just a paper wall.
- 00:18:20.484 --> 00:18:24.721
- And here's the thing, answering why is gonna reduce the power of
- 00:18:24.721 --> 00:18:28.959
- The excuse.
- 00:18:28.959 --> 00:18:30.527
- Anytime we bring an excuse into the light, you know
- 00:18:30.527 --> 00:18:33.197
- What happens?
- 00:18:33.197 --> 00:18:34.565
- It gets lighter. it gets lighter.
- 00:18:34.565 --> 00:18:37.401
- It gets smaller.
- 00:18:37.401 --> 00:18:38.902
- It gets sillier.
- 00:18:38.902 --> 00:18:40.904
- It begins to look more and more ridiculous.
- 00:18:40.904 --> 00:18:44.508
- It becomes disposable.
- 00:18:44.508 --> 00:18:47.911
- Suddenly it's much easier to leave behind.
- 00:18:47.911 --> 00:18:53.116
- Third step is this, it's gonna re-label 'em.
- 00:18:53.116 --> 00:18:56.286
- That's not a reason.
- 00:18:56.286 --> 00:18:58.088
- That's not how you look in the mirror, you just tell yourself,
- 00:18:58.088 --> 00:18:59.690
- You know what?
- 00:18:59.690 --> 00:19:01.024
- That's not a reason. that's an excuse.
- 00:19:01.024 --> 00:19:03.660
- And you say it out loud.
- 00:19:03.660 --> 00:19:05.028
- And here's the thing, you can say this, you know what?
- 00:19:05.028 --> 00:19:06.496
- This is an excuse i created.
- 00:19:06.496 --> 00:19:08.765
- This is an excuse, this is a paper wall that i built.
- 00:19:08.765 --> 00:19:11.902
- And here's the great liberating news.
- 00:19:11.902 --> 00:19:14.004
- And if i built it, in other words, if i created this wall
- 00:19:14.004 --> 00:19:19.009
- That's not even really a wall, if i built it, i can tear
- 00:19:19.009 --> 00:19:24.014
- It down.
- 00:19:24.014 --> 00:19:25.349
- I'm not a victim.
- 00:19:25.349 --> 00:19:26.717
- I'm not a prisoner to my past.
- 00:19:26.717 --> 00:19:28.852
- I'm not a prisoner to what i've been labeled.
- 00:19:28.852 --> 00:19:30.821
- I'm not a prisoner to the fact that i tried and failed once.
- 00:19:30.821 --> 00:19:33.290
- I'm not a prisoner to my fear.
- 00:19:33.290 --> 00:19:35.525
- I've been created by god to do stuff.
- 00:19:35.525 --> 00:19:38.528
- If i'm a creation, i'm a means to an end and i wanna know what
- 00:19:38.528 --> 00:19:42.132
- The end is, and i'm not gonna spend my life hiding behind
- 00:19:42.132 --> 00:19:45.669
- A paper wall and live my whole life and get to the end and
- 00:19:45.669 --> 00:19:49.139
- Never know what i was ultimately born to be a means to an end for
- 00:19:49.139 --> 00:19:54.344
- Or for whom i was born to be a means to an end.
- 00:19:54.344 --> 00:19:59.383
- I've got a life to live.
- 00:19:59.383 --> 00:20:01.151
- I've got a world to improve.
- 00:20:01.151 --> 00:20:03.020
- And now, you're on your way.
- 00:20:03.020 --> 00:20:06.290
- Now you're on your way.
- 00:20:06.290 --> 00:20:07.658
- Now there's nobody else to blame.
- 00:20:07.658 --> 00:20:08.992
- Now there's no other reason to hide here.
- 00:20:08.992 --> 00:20:10.494
- Now you hold all the cards.
- 00:20:10.494 --> 00:20:12.729
- Now you're in the driver's seat.
- 00:20:12.729 --> 00:20:15.098
- You got, you cut ties with the lies, right?
- 00:20:15.098 --> 00:20:18.935
- You disabled the labels.
- 00:20:18.935 --> 00:20:21.371
- One more.
- 00:20:21.371 --> 00:20:22.739
- I like this one.
- 00:20:22.739 --> 00:20:24.074
- You just sent your justification on a permanent vacation.
- 00:20:24.074 --> 00:20:26.677
- That's some good preaching.
- 00:20:26.677 --> 00:20:28.011
- I'm not really that good of a preacher, but i like that one.
- 00:20:28.011 --> 00:20:29.780
- Anyway, the point is, once you're willing to make this
- 00:20:29.780 --> 00:20:32.582
- Discovery, once you're willing to step into this and
- 00:20:32.582 --> 00:20:34.351
- Acknowledge it, acknowledge it with yourself, the truth, the
- 00:20:34.351 --> 00:20:38.555
- Truth has begun to set you free.
- 00:20:38.555 --> 00:20:41.024
- Free to be, free to love, free to do, free to be fully who god
- 00:20:41.024 --> 00:20:47.764
- Made you to be.
- 00:20:47.764 --> 00:20:50.200
- Step number four.
- 00:20:50.200 --> 00:20:53.403
- This is the nail in the coffin, okay?
- 00:20:51.535 --> 00:20:55.005
- In fact, if you don't do anything else and you realize
- 00:20:55.005 --> 00:20:58.809
- That you've got a paper wall in your life, just one, if you've
- 00:20:58.809 --> 00:21:01.511
- Identified one excuse, and maybe before, maybe you've known for
- 00:21:01.511 --> 00:21:04.581
- Years, if you'll just take that one excuse and you'll do step
- 00:21:04.581 --> 00:21:08.618
- Number four, this may give you the energy and the courage to
- 00:21:08.618 --> 00:21:12.222
- Punch through.
- 00:21:12.222 --> 00:21:13.557
- Step number four is to answer this question.
- 00:21:13.557 --> 00:21:16.893
- What do i lose if i continue to excuse?
- 00:21:16.893 --> 00:21:20.764
- What do i lose if i continue to excuse?
- 00:21:20.764 --> 00:21:25.068
- What do i give up?
- 00:21:25.068 --> 00:21:27.104
- What do i walk away from?
- 00:21:27.104 --> 00:21:29.106
- What do i miss out on?
- 00:21:29.106 --> 00:21:32.109
- What do you give up? who do you give up?
- 00:21:32.109 --> 00:21:34.811
- What do you miss out on?
- 00:21:34.811 --> 00:21:36.179
- Who ends up missing out on you?
- 00:21:36.179 --> 00:21:38.782
- Who for your entire marriage or your entire relationship with
- 00:21:38.782 --> 00:21:41.351
- Them wonders if they're ever gonna have all of you?
- 00:21:41.351 --> 00:21:44.554
- What is the price you're paying for living behind that
- 00:21:44.554 --> 00:21:48.125
- Paper wall?
- 00:21:48.125 --> 00:21:49.493
- What is that one excuse costing you?
- 00:21:49.493 --> 00:21:53.930
- You'll discover that the price, you know, this, the price is
- 00:21:53.930 --> 00:21:58.268
- Just too high.
- 00:21:58.268 --> 00:22:01.605
- Because there are no do-overs.
- 00:22:01.605 --> 00:22:04.741
- There are no do-overs in the arenas of life that matter most.
- 00:22:04.741 --> 00:22:09.446
- You only have one first marriage, right?
- 00:22:09.446 --> 00:22:11.615
- You only get one body to take care of.
- 00:22:11.615 --> 00:22:14.651
- And if you don't take care of your body, do you know what
- 00:22:14.651 --> 00:22:16.586
- You're assuming?
- 00:22:16.586 --> 00:22:17.921
- You're assuming some other body is gonna take care of your body
- 00:22:17.921 --> 00:22:20.891
- And you're gonna get to the end of your life and realize all
- 00:22:20.891 --> 00:22:23.293
- Those reasons i gave for not taking care of my health, they
- 00:22:23.293 --> 00:22:26.296
- Were paper walls and it's too late to go back.
- 00:22:26.296 --> 00:22:28.932
- All those excuses i gave for not managing my finances more
- 00:22:28.932 --> 00:22:31.902
- Responsibly, paper walls and it's too late to go back.
- 00:22:31.902 --> 00:22:34.738
- All those excuses i gave for not reconnecting, not forgiving,
- 00:22:34.738 --> 00:22:37.774
- Not, you know, reconciling, all of those were just paper walls,
- 00:22:37.774 --> 00:22:40.977
- Paper walls, and now it's too late to go back because in the
- 00:22:40.977 --> 00:22:43.747
- Arenas of life that matter most, when time is gone, oftentimes
- 00:22:43.747 --> 00:22:48.752
- The opportunity is gone as well.
- 00:22:48.752 --> 00:22:51.321
- And you don't wanna live that way.
- 00:22:51.321 --> 00:22:52.923
- You don't wanna get to the end of your life and look back
- 00:22:52.923 --> 00:22:54.825
- On regret.
- 00:22:54.825 --> 00:22:56.193
- And you know what regret is?
- 00:22:56.193 --> 00:22:57.527
- Regret is, i should have, i could have, but i didn't.
- 00:22:57.527 --> 00:23:04.201
- I should have, i could have, but i didn't.
- 00:23:04.201 --> 00:23:09.072
- And every single time somebody confronted me about what
- 00:23:09.072 --> 00:23:12.642
- I should have done and could have done, i had an answer.
- 00:23:12.642 --> 00:23:17.113
- But my becauses weren't the cause, they were just
- 00:23:17.113 --> 00:23:20.350
- Paper walls.
- 00:23:20.350 --> 00:23:23.520
- And i don't know you personally, but i know you don't wanna to
- 00:23:23.520 --> 00:23:27.457
- Live that way and you don't wanna end up that way and you
- 00:23:27.457 --> 00:23:30.894
- Don't wanna look back on that and i don't wanna look back on
- 00:23:30.894 --> 00:23:34.364
- That either.
- 00:23:34.364 --> 00:23:38.168
- Step number five though.
- 00:23:38.168 --> 00:23:39.569
- Step number five is for extra credit and it's tell somebody.
- 00:23:39.569 --> 00:23:42.739
- I actually did this recently, about two or three, about two
- 00:23:42.739 --> 00:23:45.842
- And a half months ago.
- 00:23:45.842 --> 00:23:47.177
- I'm in the kitchen with some of our, with our family and my
- 00:23:47.177 --> 00:23:50.180
- Daughter-in-law was there.
- 00:23:50.180 --> 00:23:51.515
- And she said, you know, she calls me mr. andy, i guess it's
- 00:23:51.515 --> 00:23:54.885
- Not mr. stanley, it's not andy, it's in between that's okay.
- 00:23:54.885 --> 00:23:57.053
- "mr. andy," she said,
- 00:23:57.053 --> 00:23:58.388
- I think you should--" and my two sons were are like,
- 00:23:58.388 --> 00:24:00.790
- "dad, yeah, you should."
- 00:24:00.790 --> 00:24:02.158
- And this is something that comes up pretty often.
- 00:24:02.158 --> 00:24:04.227
- And i immediately went to my because.
- 00:24:04.227 --> 00:24:05.929
- Well, i can't do that because.
- 00:24:05.929 --> 00:24:07.497
- I can't do that because.
- 00:24:07.497 --> 00:24:08.832
- And as soon as it came out of my mouth because i was already
- 00:24:08.832 --> 00:24:10.734
- Working on this content, i'm like, there it is.
- 00:24:10.734 --> 00:24:13.136
- Every time this comes up and it's not even a big deal, every
- 00:24:13.136 --> 00:24:15.939
- Time this topic comes up, i immediately retreat to why i
- 00:24:15.939 --> 00:24:20.644
- Can't and why i shouldn't try.
- 00:24:20.644 --> 00:24:23.413
- And i called myself out on it later i said to her, i said to
- 00:24:23.413 --> 00:24:26.149
- Danielle, i said, "you know what the other day when you brought
- 00:24:26.149 --> 00:24:27.751
- That up and i said, you know, i said what i said because that's
- 00:24:27.751 --> 00:24:29.753
- What i always say."
- 00:24:29.753 --> 00:24:31.087
- I said, "you know what?
- 00:24:31.087 --> 00:24:32.422
- That's an excuse. that's an excuse.
- 00:24:32.422 --> 00:24:35.125
- And i'm glad you brought it up again."
- 00:24:35.125 --> 00:24:36.493
- And she kind of smiled, which meant, i know we all know that's
- 00:24:36.493 --> 00:24:38.828
- An excuse.
- 00:24:38.828 --> 00:24:40.163
- And when you give the same reason every time, i don't wanna
- 00:24:40.163 --> 00:24:41.965
- Live there, i don't want you to live there.
- 00:24:41.965 --> 00:24:44.034
- So just tell somebody.
- 00:24:44.034 --> 00:24:46.603
- Imagine, i mean this is hard to imagine.
- 00:24:46.603 --> 00:24:48.705
- Imagine if everybody in our community decided to live
- 00:24:48.705 --> 00:24:52.976
- This way.
- 00:24:52.976 --> 00:24:54.344
- Imagine if everybody came clean with their excuses, what would
- 00:24:54.344 --> 00:24:58.481
- Happen in our world or in our community, our nation,
- 00:24:58.481 --> 00:25:02.018
- Our families.
- 00:25:02.018 --> 00:25:03.954
- Last thing.
- 00:25:03.954 --> 00:25:05.322
- And i've kind of said this, but i just wanna say it
- 00:25:05.322 --> 00:25:07.190
- One more time.
- 00:25:07.190 --> 00:25:08.825
- If you don't deal with this, if you don't identify your excuses,
- 00:25:08.825 --> 00:25:14.798
- You're gonna excuse your life away and that's too high a price
- 00:25:14.798 --> 00:25:21.738
- To pay.
- 00:25:21.738 --> 00:25:23.073
- You were created by god to be a means to an end, and until you
- 00:25:23.073 --> 00:25:27.944
- Discover what that end is, there's always gonna be
- 00:25:27.944 --> 00:25:30.547
- Something missing in you because you were made, you were made in
- 00:25:30.547 --> 00:25:34.718
- The image of god, you are an image bearer, you are
- 00:25:34.718 --> 00:25:38.888
- A purpose bearer.
- 00:25:38.888 --> 00:25:40.690
- And anything that's an obstacle to discovering what that is and
- 00:25:40.690 --> 00:25:43.526
- Doing it, you just need to get rid of it.
- 00:25:43.526 --> 00:25:48.064
- You were created to do something in the world, for the world, for
- 00:25:48.064 --> 00:25:50.834
- The people in the world.
- 00:25:50.834 --> 00:25:52.502
- So let's--can we just decide, you know what?
- 00:25:52.502 --> 00:25:55.271
- No more excuses.
- 00:25:55.271 --> 00:25:57.040
- No more hiding.
- 00:25:57.040 --> 00:25:58.575
- I'm gonna make up my mind.
- 00:25:58.575 --> 00:26:00.577
- No more paper walls.
- 00:26:00.577 --> 00:26:01.945
- From now i'm just gonna admit it.
- 00:26:01.945 --> 00:26:03.279
- You know, i said because, but i just wanna stop and say that's
- 00:26:03.279 --> 00:26:05.415
- Not really the beca--that's not really the cause.
- 00:26:05.415 --> 00:26:07.517
- The real reason is that just scares me.
- 00:26:07.517 --> 00:26:11.254
- The real reason is that just reminds me.
- 00:26:11.254 --> 00:26:14.324
- The real reason is, i'm afraid of what's on the other side.
- 00:26:14.324 --> 00:26:17.994
- The real reason is i don't even know why i say that, but i just
- 00:26:17.994 --> 00:26:21.564
- Wanna stop myself and let you know that's not a reason.
- 00:26:21.564 --> 00:26:25.101
- That's just an excuse.
- 00:26:25.101 --> 00:26:28.672
- Because, after all, there are just two kinds of people in
- 00:26:28.672 --> 00:26:33.309
- The world.
- 00:26:33.309 --> 00:26:35.578
- There are people who are not you.
- 00:26:35.578 --> 00:26:39.716
- And there's someone who is you.
- 00:26:39.716 --> 00:26:44.454
- And only you can do what god created you to do.
- 00:26:44.454 --> 00:26:51.194
- Andy: hey, thanks so much for watching.
- 00:26:51.194 --> 00:26:52.862
- You may find it hard to believe that 75 million americans claim
- 00:26:52.862 --> 00:26:56.266
- No religious affiliation.
- 00:26:56.266 --> 00:26:58.401
- On a personal note, perhaps you found it nearly impossible to
- 00:26:58.401 --> 00:27:01.504
- Believe that your son or your daughter or perhaps a grandchild
- 00:27:01.504 --> 00:27:04.374
- Drifted away from faith as part of that number.
- 00:27:04.374 --> 00:27:07.210
- This is a crisis culturally and perhaps for you it's
- 00:27:07.210 --> 00:27:10.213
- A crisis personally.
- 00:27:10.213 --> 00:27:11.548
- At "your move," we are committed to addressing that crisis.
- 00:27:11.548 --> 00:27:15.485
- We actually have a plan to solve it, but we need your help.
- 00:27:15.485 --> 00:27:18.388
- We've developed a digital online tool that invites people to take
- 00:27:18.388 --> 00:27:21.791
- A personal assessment that launches them on a journey that
- 00:27:21.791 --> 00:27:25.195
- Eventually intersects their questions with the teaching of
- 00:27:25.195 --> 00:27:28.498
- Jesus and ultimately with a bible teaching church in
- 00:27:28.498 --> 00:27:32.268
- Their community.
- 00:27:32.268 --> 00:27:33.603
- Tens of thousands of people are currently engaged in this
- 00:27:33.603 --> 00:27:36.039
- Process, but we need your help to continue creating the bread
- 00:27:36.039 --> 00:27:39.676
- Crumbs, the content that keeps them moving forward on their
- 00:27:39.676 --> 00:27:43.179
- Faith journey.
- 00:27:43.179 --> 00:27:44.581
- We're attempting something that no one has ever attempted before
- 00:27:44.581 --> 00:27:47.751
- And it is already working.
- 00:27:47.751 --> 00:27:49.586
- To find out more, go to the website or call the number at
- 00:27:49.586 --> 00:27:52.388
- The bottom of the screen and as always, thank you so much for
- 00:27:52.388 --> 00:27:55.525
- Watching and now it's your move.
- 00:27:55.525 --> 00:28:20.950
- ...
- 00:28:24.187 --> 00:28:29.010