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Your Move with Andy Stanley | Andy Stanley - You'll Be Glad You Did (Part 6) | November 30, 2024
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- Andy stanley: hi, everybody.
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- Welcome to "your move" where we help you make better decisions
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- And live with fewer regrets.
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- I'm andy stanley and i'll be your guide.
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- Today, i'm sharing a piece of advice that you won't be glad
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- You took initially, but you will be glad you took eventually.
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- So if you're up for a challenge and you're ready to flip the
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- Script from, "i wish i had" to "i'm glad i did" stick around.
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- ♪♪♪
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- ♪♪♪
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- ♪♪♪
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- ♪♪♪
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- ♪♪♪
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- Andy: today, we're wrapping up our series, "you'll be glad
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- You did" timeless advice for troubled times.
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- If you've been with us throughout this series,
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- This is an advice series.
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- It's based on the premise that we've all lived long enough to
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- Have developed some good habits and some bad habits.
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- So we've made some good decisions, some bad decisions.
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- We've experienced the benefit of good habits and good decisions.
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- We've all experienced the consequences of bad decisions
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- And bad habits.
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- All of us have stories that end with, "i'm so glad i did."
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- Unfortunately, we all have stories that end with, "wow,
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- I wish i had."
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- We have stories that end with, "i'm glad i didn't" and we have
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- Stories that end with, "i wish i hadn't."
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- So this series is unoriginal, "you'll be glad you did" advice.
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- It's just advice.
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- These are not moral absolutes.
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- These aren't imperatives.
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- These aren't rules, okay?
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- And the advice that we've been talking about throughout the
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- Series sits between the rules, but it ensures--it pretty much
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- Issue that if you'll take this advice, you won't break the
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- Rules that have the potential to break your heart, to break your
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- Life, to break your relationships, to cause you as
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- We talked about last time to go broke.
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- And again, this advice like the advice that you give because we
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- All give advice when people want advice, it sits between
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- The rules.
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- It sits in the realm of wisdom, not moral absolutes, but wisdom.
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- And we've defined wisdom in this series as simply insights
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- Informed by the knowledge that life, that life is connected.
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- Life is connected, means that today impacts tomorrow, that
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- Yesterday impacted today.
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- That one thing leads to another that we don't make decisions in
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- Isolation that every single decision we make in some way
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- Shows up in the future.
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- That life is connected.
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- And wisdom, wisdom surfaces when we begin asking questions with
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- The knowledge that life is connected.
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- So if you've not been with us, here's the advice we've given
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- So far.
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- Number one, listen.
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- Then we talked about forgive, defer, live generous, and my
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- Unoriginal, you'll be glad you did advice for today as we wrap
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- Up the series is this: tell yourself the truth.
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- Tell yourself the truth, specifically, tell yourself
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- The truth about you.
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- Tell yourself the truth about why you do what you do.
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- Tell yourself the truth about why you don't do what you
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- Ought to do.
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- And the thing is this and i'm gonna give you an out.
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- Even if you don't act on what you discover and even if you
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- Don't act on what you admit to yourself, even if this does not
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- Impact your behaviors at all, come on, at least tell yourself
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- The truth.
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- Now, here's why this is such a big deal.
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- When you lie to another person, it damages the relationship.
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- Even if the other person doesn't know you lied to them, it
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- Damages the relationship because you know, and there's just
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- Something between you and them and they often times can sense
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- It even though they don't know what it is.
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- When you lie to another person, you damage the relationship.
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- You are basically at odds with them.
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- When you lie to yourself, when you lie to yourself, you are
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- At odds with you.
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- As weird as it sounds, you actually damage your
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- Relationship with yourself and you are no longer yourself.
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- And eventually, in most cases, it's gonna put you, when you lie
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- To yourself, it's gonna put you at odds with other people
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- Because other people recognize when you're lying to yourself.
- 00:04:04.762 --> 00:04:10.368
- We call lying to ourselves when somebody else is lying to
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- Themselves, we just call that an excuse.
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- So when you, in any area of life, refuse to tell yourself
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- The truth, it's not only puts you at odds with you, you're not
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- Only not your real self as we're gonna see, but it eventually
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- Puts you at odds with other people because other people see
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- Through your lame excuses and through my lame excuses, when we
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- Come up with excuses for why we won't do what we need to do or
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- Why we are doing things we need to stop doing.
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- They see it, right?
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- So i'll make you promise.
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- It's kind of a big promise and i don't know your circumstances,
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- But i'm confident that this is true.
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- When you decide, and it's a decision, when you decide to
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- Become ruthlessly honest with yourself, when you decide what,
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- Whatever point you decide to be ruthlessly honest with yourself
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- And let go of the pretend you, in a very short amount of time
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- After you decide to become ruthlessly honest with yourself
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- And let go of the pretend you, you will look back and you will
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- Wonder who was that person?
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- I don't even recognize that person.
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- You will become such a different person that you will be
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- Embarrassed of the person you used to be, which for some of
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- You is the person you are right now because you won't be honest
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- With yourself.
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- And the people who love you most and the people who know you
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- Best, they already know.
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- They already know that they're dealing with the pretend you.
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- The you that's pretending with him or her self,
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- The you in hiding.
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- And when you become the real you, because you decide to tell
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- Yourself the truth and you come out of hiding, you'll become the
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- Person or begin to become the person that god created you
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- To be.
- 00:06:00.511 --> 00:06:01.879
- When we lie to ourselves, we hide from ourselves, and
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- You know what?
- 00:06:03.381 --> 00:06:04.749
- It's exhausting.
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- It's unhealthy.
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- It diminishes our capability.
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- It diminishes our potential.
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- It gets in the way and it impacts our relationships as
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- I said, with the people closest to us.
- 00:06:13.191 --> 00:06:14.759
- So here's the bottom line, okay, look up here.
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- Stop, stop doing that.
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- Let's pray.
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- Father.
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- No, i mean, right. just, just stop doing it.
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- I mean, i don't have to convince you you're adults.
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- Nobody's taking notes is like, duh, i mean, this is
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- Kind of common sense.
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- I shouldn't lie to myself.
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- When i lie to other people, it hurts a relationship.
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- Lie to myself, it hurts a relationship with myself.
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- I need to stop doing this, but this is really hard not to do.
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- In fact, we are all-natural born liars.
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- Every single one of us, right?
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- Right.
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- You got kids, right?
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- Son, i need to have a conversation with you.
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- We need to go over a few things.
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- Four things in particular today for the next few minutes.
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- I wanna teach you how you have to pay attention.
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- I'm gonna teach you how to lie, deceive, excuse and blame, okay?
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- So i need you to listen carefully because these are
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- Important life skills, right?
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- Now, i'm gonna teach you how to lie, deceive, excuse, and blame.
- 00:07:00.505 --> 00:07:03.307
- And then next week your mom's gonna come back and she's gonna
- 00:07:03.307 --> 00:07:05.643
- Teach you how to combine these things, okay?
- 00:07:05.643 --> 00:07:07.812
- Because when you, when you master combining these things,
- 00:07:07.812 --> 00:07:10.748
- I mean, this is a life, don't listen, this is important.
- 00:07:10.748 --> 00:07:13.584
- "you gotta learn this stuff," said no parent anywhere, right?
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- Including yours or mine.
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- Because this, this is-- we come into the world.
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- We're already prone to this and we're already good at this.
- 00:07:20.491 --> 00:07:24.495
- Now, this is not an excuse to lie to other people.
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- So take this in context.
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- Lying to someone else.
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- At least it kind of makes sense, right?
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- But why in the world would we lie to ourselves?
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- You lie to you and i lie to me for the very same reasons
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- That we lie to other people.
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- We lie to avoid.
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- We lie to avoid admitting our need to change.
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- Because if i can convince myself, i don't really need to
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- Change, then i don't have to change.
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- So i'm just gonna tell myself a lie about myself.
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- So i don't have to change anything.
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- We lie to avoid and we lie to protect.
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- We lie to protect ourselves.
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- This is hard, okay?
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- We lie to protect ourselves from embarrassing,
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- Truth about ourselves.
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- We lie to ourselves, to protect ourselves from shameful things
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- From the past or shameful things that are going on right now.
- 00:08:14.545 --> 00:08:17.248
- Or we lie to protect ourselves from the reality of what a
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- Stupid decision we just made financially, relationally,
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- Academically, whatever it might be.
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- Truth that actually makes us feel more like a loser than
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- A winner.
- 00:08:29.293 --> 00:08:30.628
- Bottom line.
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- We lie to ourselves to feel better about ourselves and you
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- Know, who could blame us?
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- I mean, we all wanna feel good about ourselves.
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- If you're a parent, you want your kids to feel good
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- About themselves.
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- And it's good to feel good about you but it's not good to lie
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- In order to get there.
- 00:08:47.578 --> 00:08:49.347
- Because this is important, lying, don't forget this, lying
- 00:08:49.347 --> 00:08:53.718
- To ourselves to feel good about ourselves, keeps us from doing
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- What's good for ourselves.
- 00:08:56.287 --> 00:08:57.989
- Lying to feel good about ourselves keeps us from doing
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- The good that is good for ourselves.
- 00:09:01.959 --> 00:09:04.528
- Self deception, 100% of the time, self deception empowers us
- 00:09:04.528 --> 00:09:09.800
- To avoid change.
- 00:09:09.800 --> 00:09:12.036
- It empowers us to avoid the change that makes us a better
- 00:09:12.036 --> 00:09:16.240
- Version of our selves.
- 00:09:16.240 --> 00:09:19.644
- In fact, to get super analytical, i came up with this,
- 00:09:19.644 --> 00:09:23.180
- Just trying again.
- 00:09:23.180 --> 00:09:24.515
- I got--it's gotta be simple for me or i can't carry it forward.
- 00:09:24.515 --> 00:09:27.518
- That really lying to ourselves is actually, it's actually self
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- Rejection masquerading as self protection.
- 00:09:32.590 --> 00:09:36.827
- In other words, i'm trying to protect myself by not telling
- 00:09:36.827 --> 00:09:40.331
- Myself the truth.
- 00:09:40.331 --> 00:09:41.666
- But as long as i'm not telling myself the truth about why
- 00:09:41.666 --> 00:09:44.135
- I did, why i did it, why i won't, why i want to,
- 00:09:44.135 --> 00:09:47.338
- Why i'm always, why i never.
- 00:09:47.338 --> 00:09:48.673
- As long as i'm telling myself a lie, i'm actually rejecting
- 00:09:48.673 --> 00:09:51.676
- Myself because when you lie to another person,
- 00:09:51.676 --> 00:09:53.844
- You're rejecting them.
- 00:09:53.844 --> 00:09:55.479
- You're saying you, you are not honorable enough to deserve
- 00:09:55.479 --> 00:09:58.616
- The truth from me.
- 00:09:58.616 --> 00:09:59.950
- You can't either handle the truth or i don't trust you
- 00:09:59.950 --> 00:10:02.820
- With the truth or i don't know what you'll do with the truth.
- 00:10:02.820 --> 00:10:04.955
- So lying is always rejection.
- 00:10:04.955 --> 00:10:07.324
- So when we lie to ourselves and we deceive ourselves about
- 00:10:07.324 --> 00:10:10.161
- Anything, it's really self rejection masquerading as no,
- 00:10:10.161 --> 00:10:13.831
- No, no, i'm just trying to protect myself.
- 00:10:13.831 --> 00:10:16.767
- I lie to protect myself, which puts me at odds with myself
- 00:10:16.767 --> 00:10:20.337
- And others.
- 00:10:20.337 --> 00:10:21.706
- And granted sometimes, i mean, i get this, okay, i'm human.
- 00:10:21.706 --> 00:10:23.507
- Sometimes it's just easier to lie than to try.
- 00:10:23.507 --> 00:10:26.010
- I get that.
- 00:10:26.010 --> 00:10:27.378
- So we say things like, well, i don't really care what
- 00:10:27.378 --> 00:10:29.146
- They think.
- 00:10:29.146 --> 00:10:30.514
- Yes, you do.
- 00:10:30.514 --> 00:10:31.849
- In fact, little heads up little sidebar.
- 00:10:31.849 --> 00:10:33.217
- You never say, i don't care what they think unless you care what
- 00:10:33.217 --> 00:10:35.219
- They think.
- 00:10:35.219 --> 00:10:36.587
- Otherwise you wouldn't even be thinking about them, okay?
- 00:10:36.587 --> 00:10:38.823
- The reason that you're so adamant, i don't care what they
- 00:10:38.823 --> 00:10:41.125
- Think is you're thinking about them and you're thinking about
- 00:10:41.125 --> 00:10:43.394
- What they're thinking about you.
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- You do care what they think, but it's easier to lie than to try,
- 00:10:44.762 --> 00:10:47.131
- You know, i've always been this way.
- 00:10:47.131 --> 00:10:49.100
- No, you haven't.
- 00:10:49.100 --> 00:10:51.068
- Right, i'm fine.
- 00:10:51.068 --> 00:10:52.436
- No, you're not.
- 00:10:52.436 --> 00:10:53.771
- But it's--sometimes it's just easier to lie than to try.
- 00:10:53.771 --> 00:10:57.208
- And when we don't try, we never become everything we could
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- Possibly be.
- 00:11:00.578 --> 00:11:01.912
- And it doesn't just impact us.
- 00:11:01.912 --> 00:11:03.247
- It impacts the people around us.
- 00:11:03.247 --> 00:11:04.615
- It impacts the people we love, it impacts the people who
- 00:11:04.615 --> 00:11:06.150
- Are depending on us.
- 00:11:06.150 --> 00:11:07.585
- It depends, it impacts the people who are trying to get
- 00:11:07.585 --> 00:11:09.987
- Close to us.
- 00:11:09.987 --> 00:11:11.655
- Because as long as you're lying to yourself, there is
- 00:11:11.655 --> 00:11:14.892
- An obstacle between you and the people who wanna be close
- 00:11:14.892 --> 00:11:17.928
- To you.
- 00:11:17.928 --> 00:11:19.263
- There--you are diminishing your own.
- 00:11:19.263 --> 00:11:20.598
- Listen, you're diminishing your own capacity for intimacy
- 00:11:20.598 --> 00:11:24.702
- Because you can't have intimacy with someone who's dishonest
- 00:11:24.702 --> 00:11:28.139
- With you or dishonest with themselves.
- 00:11:28.139 --> 00:11:33.344
- Now, in a professional environment, if you're a manager
- 00:11:33.344 --> 00:11:37.715
- Or an employer or you run a franchise or you have a company,
- 00:11:37.715 --> 00:11:40.985
- In a professional environment, when you discover that you have
- 00:11:40.985 --> 00:11:43.988
- Hired a liar, you eventually fire the liar.
- 00:11:43.988 --> 00:11:48.759
- You can't work with a liar.
- 00:11:48.759 --> 00:11:50.461
- You just can't.
- 00:11:50.461 --> 00:11:51.829
- And so if you have the capacity and you have the authority, when
- 00:11:51.829 --> 00:11:53.931
- You discover, you know what this person is just a perpetual liar.
- 00:11:53.931 --> 00:11:56.600
- You fire the liar.
- 00:11:56.600 --> 00:11:58.636
- So i wanna give you some secondary advice.
- 00:11:58.636 --> 00:12:01.205
- As we talk about advice in this series, i wanna challenge you
- 00:12:01.205 --> 00:12:04.308
- And encourage you to fire the liar.
- 00:12:04.308 --> 00:12:06.710
- I want you to fire the dishonest version of you and hire
- 00:12:06.710 --> 00:12:12.483
- An honest version of you.
- 00:12:12.483 --> 00:12:15.152
- An honest version that will tell yourself the truth.
- 00:12:15.152 --> 00:12:18.422
- Tell yourself the truth.
- 00:12:18.422 --> 00:12:20.090
- Even if the truth makes you feel bad about yourself,
- 00:12:20.090 --> 00:12:24.161
- Tell yourself the truth, even if the truth makes you feel bad
- 00:12:24.161 --> 00:12:27.031
- About yourself.
- 00:12:27.031 --> 00:12:28.365
- Contrary to what culture is telling us constantly,
- 00:12:28.365 --> 00:12:31.035
- There are worse things than feeling bad about yourself.
- 00:12:31.035 --> 00:12:34.905
- There are worse things than feeling bad about yourself.
- 00:12:34.972 --> 00:12:37.508
- Hanging on to what's bad about yourself is worse than feeling
- 00:12:37.508 --> 00:12:41.078
- Bad about yourself.
- 00:12:41.078 --> 00:12:42.446
- And lying to ourselves enables us, as i said, empowers us
- 00:12:42.446 --> 00:12:46.016
- To hang on to those things about us that we should let go
- 00:12:46.016 --> 00:12:49.186
- And deal with.
- 00:12:49.186 --> 00:12:50.554
- And refusing to acknowledge what's bad about ourselves is
- 00:12:50.554 --> 00:12:53.357
- Bad for ourselves.
- 00:12:53.357 --> 00:12:55.125
- And it's bad for the people around us as well.
- 00:12:55.125 --> 00:12:58.562
- And then there's this, it gets worse.
- 00:12:58.562 --> 00:13:00.264
- There's this, when and again, if you've raised kids, you've seen
- 00:13:00.264 --> 00:13:03.467
- This but we think all those are middle school and
- 00:13:03.467 --> 00:13:05.069
- High school students.
- 00:13:05.069 --> 00:13:06.437
- No, this is just, this is just human beings.
- 00:13:06.437 --> 00:13:07.771
- When we aren't honest about why we're doing what we're doing,
- 00:13:07.771 --> 00:13:10.975
- When we're not honest with ourselves about why we're doing
- 00:13:10.975 --> 00:13:14.011
- What we're doing.
- 00:13:14.011 --> 00:13:15.579
- We have a difficult time taking responsibility for the outcome
- 00:13:15.579 --> 00:13:19.683
- Of our doing.
- 00:13:19.683 --> 00:13:21.051
- This is so important.
- 00:13:21.051 --> 00:13:22.386
- This is--this in some ways, explains part of what we see
- 00:13:22.386 --> 00:13:24.455
- Happening culturally in our country and in the world.
- 00:13:24.455 --> 00:13:28.092
- When we lie to ourselves about why we're doing what we're
- 00:13:28.092 --> 00:13:31.095
- Doing, it is very difficult for us to take responsibility for
- 00:13:31.095 --> 00:13:34.732
- The outcome of our doing because it's not really our fault.
- 00:13:34.732 --> 00:13:40.070
- It's not really your fault.
- 00:13:40.070 --> 00:13:42.673
- I mean, it wasn't you--you're not even honest about why you
- 00:13:42.673 --> 00:13:45.409
- Did what you did.
- 00:13:45.409 --> 00:13:46.777
- So why would you be honest about whose responsibility it is as a
- 00:13:46.777 --> 00:13:48.913
- Result of what you did.
- 00:13:48.913 --> 00:13:50.247
- And we have an adjective.
- 00:13:50.247 --> 00:13:51.615
- We have an adjective for people who refuse to take
- 00:13:51.615 --> 00:13:53.918
- Responsibility for the outcome of their doing.
- 00:13:53.918 --> 00:13:56.553
- We call those people irresponsible.
- 00:13:56.553 --> 00:14:00.824
- Self deception.
- 00:14:00.824 --> 00:14:02.693
- Eventually or immediately, self deception always results in
- 00:14:02.693 --> 00:14:08.933
- Irresponsibility and my irresponsibility eventually
- 00:14:08.933 --> 00:14:13.804
- Becomes somebody else's responsibility.
- 00:14:13.804 --> 00:14:16.840
- And your irresponsibility eventually becomes somebody
- 00:14:16.840 --> 00:14:20.277
- Else's responsibility.
- 00:14:20.277 --> 00:14:21.845
- So, come on, just tell yourself, tell yourself the truth.
- 00:14:21.845 --> 00:14:27.484
- Just tell yourself the truth.
- 00:14:27.484 --> 00:14:29.486
- It's terrifying.
- 00:14:29.486 --> 00:14:31.555
- It's shaming, it's embarrassing.
- 00:14:31.555 --> 00:14:34.758
- Come on, it's just you and you.
- 00:14:34.758 --> 00:14:37.628
- It is just you and you.
- 00:14:37.628 --> 00:14:40.197
- The only person that's gonna be embarrassed is you.
- 00:14:40.197 --> 00:14:43.400
- The only person that's gonna feel the shame is you.
- 00:14:43.400 --> 00:14:45.769
- The only person that's gonna feel bad about themselves
- 00:14:45.769 --> 00:14:48.172
- Is you.
- 00:14:48.172 --> 00:14:49.506
- And the moment you tell yourself the truth and the moment you
- 00:14:49.506 --> 00:14:51.508
- Begin to act on what you discover this, this--today is
- 00:14:51.508 --> 00:14:54.345
- Not about acting on it.
- 00:14:54.345 --> 00:14:55.679
- That's up to you.
- 00:14:55.679 --> 00:14:57.047
- I just wanna get you to the table, right?
- 00:14:57.047 --> 00:14:58.382
- The moment you begin to behave on what you've discovered,
- 00:14:58.382 --> 00:15:02.052
- The moment you begin to allow that truth to settle into
- 00:15:02.052 --> 00:15:04.989
- Your thinking.
- 00:15:04.989 --> 00:15:06.523
- You become you don't just become a better version of you.
- 00:15:06.523 --> 00:15:09.226
- You become you.
- 00:15:09.226 --> 00:15:12.429
- Jesus said, and we can all quote this.
- 00:15:12.429 --> 00:15:14.131
- I mean, everybody knows this first.
- 00:15:14.131 --> 00:15:15.566
- "you shall know the truth," jesus said, "the truth will set
- 00:15:15.566 --> 00:15:17.601
- You free."
- 00:15:17.601 --> 00:15:18.969
- And it's true and telling yourself the truth sets us free
- 00:15:18.969 --> 00:15:22.406
- And telling ourselves the truth about why we do and why we don't
- 00:15:22.406 --> 00:15:25.075
- Is what sets us free to become who god created us to be.
- 00:15:25.075 --> 00:15:28.645
- Because you can't become fully you and fully alive as long as
- 00:15:28.645 --> 00:15:31.448
- You're hiding and you can't become fully you and fully alive
- 00:15:31.448 --> 00:15:34.418
- As long as you're lying to yourself.
- 00:15:34.418 --> 00:15:37.287
- Out of sorts with yourself.
- 00:15:37.287 --> 00:15:41.825
- So, quit hiding.
- 00:15:41.825 --> 00:15:44.128
- Now, i know what a lot of us are thinking, okay?
- 00:15:44.128 --> 00:15:47.398
- If i was sitting there, i know part of what i'd be thinking,
- 00:15:47.398 --> 00:15:49.133
- I'd be thinking, you know what.
- 00:15:49.133 --> 00:15:50.601
- I sure hope is listening to this, right?
- 00:15:50.601 --> 00:15:54.538
- And i'm so glad they're hearing this.
- 00:15:54.538 --> 00:15:57.207
- I'm so glad.
- 00:15:57.207 --> 00:15:58.575
- I--andy, i sure you, this is really good, very compelling,
- 00:15:58.575 --> 00:16:01.345
- Very emotional, very, very good.
- 00:16:01.345 --> 00:16:02.679
- Good presentation, good event, good, yeah.
- 00:16:02.679 --> 00:16:04.748
- So many people need to hear this.
- 00:16:04.748 --> 00:16:06.483
- I hope all the self deceivers, you know, kinda get their arms
- 00:16:06.483 --> 00:16:09.820
- Around this and you know what i do too, including you.
- 00:16:09.820 --> 00:16:13.757
- So here's what i'm gonna do.
- 00:16:13.757 --> 00:16:15.559
- To be an equal opportunity offender, i'm gonna read a
- 00:16:15.559 --> 00:16:19.763
- Passage of scripture that has a promise attached and then
- 00:16:19.763 --> 00:16:24.935
- I'm gonna ask you a series of questions.
- 00:16:24.935 --> 00:16:28.572
- So the passage i'm gonna read is written by the apostle paul and
- 00:16:28.572 --> 00:16:31.708
- The context of where he wrote this, again, we can't--there's
- 00:16:31.708 --> 00:16:34.078
- No way to explain this because we can't smell it and see it
- 00:16:34.078 --> 00:16:36.680
- And fear it and taste it.
- 00:16:36.680 --> 00:16:38.048
- But he's in rome, he's in nero's rome.
- 00:16:38.048 --> 00:16:41.151
- He's been arrested and he's waiting for his trial and he's
- 00:16:41.151 --> 00:16:43.520
- Waited a long time.
- 00:16:43.520 --> 00:16:44.988
- And he's in nero's rome.
- 00:16:44.988 --> 00:16:46.323
- Things don't go well for christians in nero's rome.
- 00:16:46.323 --> 00:16:49.093
- Things don't go well for christian leaders in particular
- 00:16:49.093 --> 00:16:52.096
- And influencers in nero's rome.
- 00:16:52.096 --> 00:16:54.798
- And he's waiting and he writes this letter to christians.
- 00:16:54.798 --> 00:16:59.236
- It became a letter that circulated all around.
- 00:16:59.236 --> 00:17:01.505
- So within that context, he writes the following, okay.
- 00:17:01.505 --> 00:17:05.375
- So you're ready for this and let me just stop and say this.
- 00:17:05.375 --> 00:17:07.211
- If you're not a christian or you're not a jesus follower,
- 00:17:07.211 --> 00:17:09.413
- You're not religious or maybe you're part of another faith,
- 00:17:09.413 --> 00:17:11.381
- Or you used to have faith and you lost it.
- 00:17:11.381 --> 00:17:14.151
- This is for you two, okay?
- 00:17:14.151 --> 00:17:18.122
- The application isn't become a christian.
- 00:17:18.122 --> 00:17:21.625
- The invitation, it's an invitation more than
- 00:17:21.625 --> 00:17:23.427
- An application.
- 00:17:23.427 --> 00:17:24.795
- The invitation is to just for a moment, pull back the curtain
- 00:17:24.795 --> 00:17:29.333
- And just be honest with yourself.
- 00:17:29.333 --> 00:17:32.236
- Here's what paul writes, it's so powerful, it sounds like
- 00:17:32.236 --> 00:17:35.772
- A conclusion, but he's really introducing something.
- 00:17:35.772 --> 00:17:37.774
- He writes this, he says, "and the peace of god,
- 00:17:37.774 --> 00:17:45.449
- The peace of god."
- 00:17:45.449 --> 00:17:46.783
- Imagine if you had the peace of god.
- 00:17:46.783 --> 00:17:48.585
- Imagine if god knows everything about everybody and you
- 00:17:48.585 --> 00:17:52.990
- Can have peace.
- 00:17:52.990 --> 00:17:54.358
- It's the ability to have peace.
- 00:17:54.358 --> 00:17:56.360
- Well, he describes it, "and the peace of god," which doesn't
- 00:17:56.360 --> 00:17:58.662
- Make any sense.
- 00:17:58.662 --> 00:18:00.030
- It transcends all understanding, will guard, this is so amazing,
- 00:18:00.030 --> 00:18:04.034
- "will guard your heart," like a warrior, "guard your heart
- 00:18:04.034 --> 00:18:07.938
- And guard your mind in christ jesus."
- 00:18:07.938 --> 00:18:10.407
- He says there is something that is available to you,
- 00:18:10.407 --> 00:18:15.279
- The peace of god.
- 00:18:15.279 --> 00:18:16.613
- The peace of god is--the world, you know, is going is
- 00:18:16.613 --> 00:18:20.517
- Upside down.
- 00:18:20.517 --> 00:18:21.885
- My health is upside down.
- 00:18:21.885 --> 00:18:23.220
- You know, things are out of control, but i have peace
- 00:18:23.220 --> 00:18:24.888
- Because i have the peace of god and god knows all of this and
- 00:18:24.888 --> 00:18:28.091
- God isn't worried.
- 00:18:28.091 --> 00:18:29.459
- "the peace of god that guards your heart and guard your mind
- 00:18:29.459 --> 00:18:32.696
- In christ jesus."
- 00:18:32.696 --> 00:18:34.064
- They're like, yeah, i'd like to have some of that.
- 00:18:34.064 --> 00:18:35.399
- And he says, i'm gonna tell you how to get it.
- 00:18:35.399 --> 00:18:38.535
- Here's what he says.
- 00:18:38.535 --> 00:18:39.870
- So if you want the peace of god that guards your heart in christ
- 00:18:39.870 --> 00:18:44.608
- Jesus, heart guard, your mind, that transcends--doesn't make
- 00:18:44.608 --> 00:18:47.578
- Any sense, but there's peace in the midst of things that don't
- 00:18:47.578 --> 00:18:50.347
- Make sense.
- 00:18:50.347 --> 00:18:51.682
- He says, here's what you do, whatever is true,
- 00:18:51.682 --> 00:18:59.856
- Whatever is true.
- 00:18:59.856 --> 00:19:01.225
- Just the true things.
- 00:19:01.225 --> 00:19:03.093
- Whatever is noble, this is a word we don't use much noble,
- 00:19:03.093 --> 00:19:06.663
- Worthy of respect, dignified.
- 00:19:06.663 --> 00:19:09.866
- Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is worthy
- 00:19:09.866 --> 00:19:14.271
- Of respect, whatever is dignified, whatever is right.
- 00:19:14.271 --> 00:19:19.977
- Whatever is the right thing.
- 00:19:19.977 --> 00:19:21.678
- Whatever is right.
- 00:19:21.678 --> 00:19:24.881
- Whatever is pure.
- 00:19:24.881 --> 00:19:26.883
- Pure means unmixed.
- 00:19:26.883 --> 00:19:29.086
- No shades of gray.
- 00:19:29.086 --> 00:19:30.721
- Just unmixed, undiluted, unmixed, whatever is pure.
- 00:19:30.721 --> 00:19:35.459
- Then whatever is lovely meaning whatever is pleasing.
- 00:19:35.459 --> 00:19:40.764
- Whatever is all is well.
- 00:19:40.764 --> 00:19:45.002
- And whatever is admirable, commendable, respectable.
- 00:19:45.002 --> 00:19:52.276
- Look at that list a second.
- 00:19:52.276 --> 00:19:53.977
- Whatever is true, noble, right?
- 00:19:53.977 --> 00:19:58.548
- Pure, lovely, admirable.
- 00:19:58.548 --> 00:20:02.552
- He says here's what i want you to do.
- 00:20:02.552 --> 00:20:03.920
- You wanna experience the peace of god?
- 00:20:03.920 --> 00:20:05.255
- Do you wanna experience the peace of god that will leave you
- 00:20:05.255 --> 00:20:07.391
- At peace with yourself?
- 00:20:07.391 --> 00:20:09.459
- He says, i want you to think about those things.
- 00:20:09.459 --> 00:20:14.097
- This is a powerful statement.
- 00:20:14.097 --> 00:20:15.732
- It's a mathematical term.
- 00:20:15.732 --> 00:20:17.567
- He says, i want you to measure your thoughts against that list.
- 00:20:17.567 --> 00:20:23.774
- I want you to measure your, i want you to align your thoughts.
- 00:20:23.774 --> 00:20:27.944
- I want i want you to think about and embrace what is true,
- 00:20:27.944 --> 00:20:32.749
- What is noble, what is pure, what is undiluted,
- 00:20:32.749 --> 00:20:39.089
- What is right, what is lovely, what is worth celebrating.
- 00:20:39.089 --> 00:20:41.658
- I want you to embrace that and i want you to expel everything
- 00:20:41.658 --> 00:20:46.129
- Contrary to it.
- 00:20:46.129 --> 00:20:48.799
- Oh, he says, and here's the promise, "and the god of peace
- 00:20:48.799 --> 00:20:54.938
- Will be with you."
- 00:20:54.938 --> 00:20:57.341
- Now, here's something interesting.
- 00:20:57.341 --> 00:20:58.709
- We think oh god is with us all the time, true.
- 00:20:58.709 --> 00:21:00.877
- Paul is talking about something else.
- 00:21:00.877 --> 00:21:02.679
- He's saying, do you want to experience, maybe even feel,
- 00:21:02.679 --> 00:21:09.419
- But do you want to experience the peace of god?
- 00:21:09.419 --> 00:21:13.290
- He says, then you have to expel and do away with all the deluded
- 00:21:13.290 --> 00:21:18.495
- Thoughts, all the impure, all the unrighteous, and embrace
- 00:21:18.495 --> 00:21:22.499
- What is absolutely true.
- 00:21:22.499 --> 00:21:28.038
- And do you know what you get when you give yourself
- 00:21:28.038 --> 00:21:31.641
- Permission to tell yourself the truth about you?
- 00:21:31.641 --> 00:21:36.446
- You get you.
- 00:21:36.446 --> 00:21:39.716
- The real you.
- 00:21:39.716 --> 00:21:41.385
- Not the hidden you.
- 00:21:41.385 --> 00:21:42.886
- Not the deluded you.
- 00:21:42.886 --> 00:21:44.688
- Not the untruthful you.
- 00:21:44.688 --> 00:21:46.490
- Not the lack of nobility you.
- 00:21:46.490 --> 00:21:48.625
- Not the love that unlovely you.
- 00:21:48.625 --> 00:21:52.162
- Because you will have peace with god who is at peace with you,
- 00:21:52.162 --> 00:21:59.269
- Which allows you to be who god created you to be.
- 00:21:59.269 --> 00:22:04.775
- Now, i'm about to ask you a series of questions.
- 00:22:04.775 --> 00:22:09.546
- Most of them are irrelevant for you.
- 00:22:09.546 --> 00:22:12.716
- But if one of them lights up your conscience, you're gonna be
- 00:22:12.716 --> 00:22:16.586
- Tempted to lie, not to me.
- 00:22:16.586 --> 00:22:19.055
- You're going to be tempted to lie to you because you already
- 00:22:19.055 --> 00:22:22.692
- Have a go to answer for this question.
- 00:22:22.692 --> 00:22:25.395
- Because you've given the same answer over and over and over
- 00:22:25.395 --> 00:22:28.732
- And over every time anyone else has asked you.
- 00:22:28.732 --> 00:22:32.202
- So i want you to do yourself a favor in these next few moments.
- 00:22:32.202 --> 00:22:36.173
- And just tell yourself the truth, okay?
- 00:22:36.173 --> 00:22:41.611
- You ready?
- 00:22:41.611 --> 00:22:42.979
- Here we go.
- 00:22:42.979 --> 00:22:44.381
- First question.
- 00:22:44.381 --> 00:22:47.184
- Why are you avoiding?
- 00:22:47.184 --> 00:22:50.454
- Him?
- 00:22:50.454 --> 00:22:51.822
- Her?
- 00:22:51.822 --> 00:22:53.156
- That conversation?
- 00:22:53.156 --> 00:22:54.524
- That thing?
- 00:22:54.524 --> 00:22:55.859
- What--you're just constantly--i'll ask it
- 00:22:55.859 --> 00:22:58.528
- A different way.
- 00:22:58.528 --> 00:22:59.896
- Why are you putting that off?
- 00:22:59.896 --> 00:23:02.699
- What? really?
- 00:23:01.364 --> 00:23:04.768
- No, no, no, no.
- 00:23:04.768 --> 00:23:06.102
- I wouldn't see you-- ask you about it.
- 00:23:06.102 --> 00:23:07.437
- You got your--but no, no, no, no, just this is, this is just
- 00:23:07.437 --> 00:23:09.473
- You and you and your heavenly father who already knows.
- 00:23:09.473 --> 00:23:11.541
- Why?
- 00:23:11.541 --> 00:23:12.909
- Why are you avoiding?
- 00:23:12.909 --> 00:23:14.478
- Why are you putting that off?
- 00:23:14.478 --> 00:23:17.481
- Why won't you get help?
- 00:23:17.481 --> 00:23:20.550
- I mean, everybody who loves you thinks you need help and you've
- 00:23:20.550 --> 00:23:22.719
- Got 25 reasons why you don't need help and but come on, this
- 00:23:22.719 --> 00:23:25.322
- Is just you and you and your heavenly father who knows you
- 00:23:25.322 --> 00:23:28.258
- Need help.
- 00:23:28.258 --> 00:23:30.861
- Why won't you get help?
- 00:23:30.861 --> 00:23:32.229
- Why won't you ask for help?
- 00:23:32.229 --> 00:23:33.563
- Why?
- 00:23:33.563 --> 00:23:34.931
- Why won't you go see a counselor?
- 00:23:34.931 --> 00:23:37.667
- Really?
- 00:23:37.667 --> 00:23:39.002
- Now, i know it's expensive but that come on,
- 00:23:39.002 --> 00:23:40.370
- You do what you wanna do.
- 00:23:40.370 --> 00:23:41.705
- You always do what you wanna do.
- 00:23:41.705 --> 00:23:43.073
- You find a way when you wanna do it, come on.
- 00:23:43.073 --> 00:23:45.075
- Just you and you and your heavenly father loves you.
- 00:23:45.075 --> 00:23:46.510
- Why won't you go get help and why won't you involve
- 00:23:46.510 --> 00:23:49.846
- Somebody else?
- 00:23:49.846 --> 00:23:53.283
- Ladies, why do you keep going out with him?
- 00:23:53.283 --> 00:23:58.522
- He's not good for you.
- 00:23:58.522 --> 00:23:59.890
- You know, he's not good for you.
- 00:23:59.890 --> 00:24:01.224
- Your mama knows he's not good for you.
- 00:24:01.224 --> 00:24:02.559
- Your friends know he knows, everybody knows but you and you
- 00:24:02.559 --> 00:24:04.528
- Know, come on and you've got, i know you got a reason, of course
- 00:24:04.528 --> 00:24:07.097
- You have a reason.
- 00:24:07.097 --> 00:24:08.465
- You're a rational person.
- 00:24:08.465 --> 00:24:09.799
- You feel like you gotta have an answer when people ask
- 00:24:09.799 --> 00:24:12.536
- But come on.
- 00:24:12.536 --> 00:24:18.475
- Why do you keep going out with her.
- 00:24:18.475 --> 00:24:22.646
- Really?
- 00:24:22.646 --> 00:24:26.716
- Why did you file for divorce?
- 00:24:26.716 --> 00:24:29.553
- Not the go to answer.
- 00:24:29.553 --> 00:24:31.054
- Maybe it was ten years ago and you're still given
- 00:24:31.054 --> 00:24:32.989
- The go-to answer.
- 00:24:32.989 --> 00:24:34.925
- Have you ever truly acknowledged to yourself why you filed
- 00:24:34.925 --> 00:24:41.565
- For divorce?
- 00:24:41.565 --> 00:24:43.099
- Have you ever--it's terrifying because between you and you and
- 00:24:43.099 --> 00:24:47.037
- God, it was a really bad reason.
- 00:24:47.037 --> 00:24:49.806
- So of course you're not gonna share that and you've put it
- 00:24:49.806 --> 00:24:52.108
- So far in the back that you have begun to believe your
- 00:24:52.108 --> 00:24:55.478
- Own narrative.
- 00:24:55.478 --> 00:24:56.846
- But come on, you wanna be free, you wanna be, you, you want
- 00:24:56.846 --> 00:25:00.150
- The barrier between you and whoever you wanna be intimate
- 00:25:00.150 --> 00:25:02.185
- With to come down.
- 00:25:02.185 --> 00:25:03.820
- Have you really?
- 00:25:03.820 --> 00:25:05.388
- Why did you file for divorce?
- 00:25:05.388 --> 00:25:09.426
- Why are you taking that job?
- 00:25:09.426 --> 00:25:12.929
- Why are you quitting your job?
- 00:25:12.929 --> 00:25:19.736
- This is next one.
- 00:25:19.736 --> 00:25:23.273
- What's the real reason you don't call your kids?
- 00:25:23.273 --> 00:25:28.678
- What's the real reason you don't call your mom?
- 00:25:28.678 --> 00:25:32.649
- What's the real reason you don't call your dad, your brother
- 00:25:32.649 --> 00:25:36.753
- Or your sister?
- 00:25:36.753 --> 00:25:38.121
- I know there was that thing at christmas and that thing at
- 00:25:38.121 --> 00:25:39.789
- Thanksgiving and he was a terrible dad or she wasn't
- 00:25:39.789 --> 00:25:41.524
- There for you.
- 00:25:41.524 --> 00:25:42.892
- Yeah, yeah.
- 00:25:42.892 --> 00:25:44.227
- When you tell your story, everybody's like, i wouldn't
- 00:25:44.227 --> 00:25:45.595
- Call him either.
- 00:25:45.595 --> 00:25:46.930
- But have you been 100% honest with yourself about that?
- 00:25:46.930 --> 00:25:53.036
- Why the real reason, why won't you tell her the truth about
- 00:25:53.036 --> 00:25:58.141
- What's going on?
- 00:25:58.141 --> 00:25:59.576
- Oh, i don't want to hurt her feelings.
- 00:25:59.576 --> 00:26:00.944
- Mm mm, mm mm.
- 00:26:00.944 --> 00:26:02.278
- No, why won't you tell her the truth about what's going on?
- 00:26:02.278 --> 00:26:05.115
- The real reason.
- 00:26:05.115 --> 00:26:06.683
- Why won't you tell him the truth about what's going on?
- 00:26:06.683 --> 00:26:13.089
- Why don't you go back and finish school?
- 00:26:13.089 --> 00:26:17.127
- Uh, uh, no, really?
- 00:26:17.127 --> 00:26:18.995
- Why won't you go back and finish school?
- 00:26:18.995 --> 00:26:20.830
- Have you ever been?
- 00:26:20.830 --> 00:26:22.165
- You don't have to go back and finish school.
- 00:26:22.165 --> 00:26:23.533
- You don't have to do anything.
- 00:26:23.533 --> 00:26:24.868
- But have you been honest with yourself about why you won't
- 00:26:24.868 --> 00:26:26.569
- Go back and finish?
- 00:26:26.569 --> 00:26:28.338
- Then for all of us, what are you afraid of?
- 00:26:28.338 --> 00:26:33.309
- What?
- 00:26:33.309 --> 00:26:34.644
- I'm not afraid of anything?
- 00:26:34.644 --> 00:26:36.012
- Well, yeah, you just admitted what you're afraid if you're
- 00:26:36.012 --> 00:26:37.347
- Afraid of admitting what you're afraid of.
- 00:26:37.347 --> 00:26:38.715
- I'm not afraid of any.
- 00:26:38.715 --> 00:26:40.050
- Oh, come on.
- 00:26:40.050 --> 00:26:41.418
- What are you, what are you afraid of?
- 00:26:41.418 --> 00:26:42.752
- And then maybe most relevant question of all, why doesn't
- 00:26:42.752 --> 00:26:45.689
- Andy mind his own business?
- 00:26:45.689 --> 00:26:47.023
- [audience laughing]
- 00:26:47.023 --> 00:26:50.560
- Andy: isn't this horrible?
- 00:26:52.195 --> 00:26:53.530
- Terrifying?
- 00:26:53.530 --> 00:26:54.898
- I'm making this next thing up.
- 00:26:54.898 --> 00:26:56.232
- Okay.
- 00:26:56.232 --> 00:26:57.567
- I just feel like god's sitting on the edge of the seat going,
- 00:26:57.567 --> 00:26:59.302
- "come on, come on, come, come on, come on, you can do it.
- 00:26:59.302 --> 00:27:02.405
- Come on, come out of hiding."
- 00:27:02.405 --> 00:27:05.008
- Tell yourself the truth.
- 00:27:05.008 --> 00:27:09.079
- Lies lose their power in the light.
- 00:27:09.079 --> 00:27:13.717
- Lies lose their grip when exposed to the truth.
- 00:27:13.717 --> 00:27:18.788
- Tell yourself the truth.
- 00:27:18.788 --> 00:27:21.057
- You will be glad you did not initially, eventually, because
- 00:27:21.057 --> 00:27:27.564
- You'll have peace with god.
- 00:27:27.564 --> 00:27:28.898
- You'll have the god of peace and you'll be at peace
- 00:27:28.898 --> 00:27:32.202
- With yourself.
- 00:27:32.202 --> 00:27:33.803
- And jesus said truth sets us free.
- 00:27:33.803 --> 00:27:35.872
- In fact, jesus said you will be free indeed.
- 00:27:35.872 --> 00:27:40.110
- So tell yourself the truth.
- 00:27:40.110 --> 00:27:44.981
- Andy: well, thanks so much for watching.
- 00:27:45.949 --> 00:27:47.283
- And as a special thank you, we've developed
- 00:27:47.283 --> 00:27:48.985
- Some resources with you in mind.
- 00:27:48.985 --> 00:27:50.820
- And the best part is they're absolutely free,
- 00:27:50.820 --> 00:27:53.022
- Just go to the website at the bottom of your screen,
- 00:27:53.022 --> 00:27:55.125
- And you'll find tools for deepening your faith,
- 00:27:55.125 --> 00:27:57.193
- Including study guides and a gratitude guide.
- 00:27:57.193 --> 00:27:59.796
- Again, thanks so much for watching.
- 00:27:59.796 --> 00:28:01.164
- And we will see you right back here next time
- 00:28:01.164 --> 00:28:02.966
- On "your move."
- 00:28:02.966 --> 00:28:20.917
- ...
- 00:28:24.154 --> 00:28:29.010