Andy Stanley - You'll Be Glad You Did (Part 6)

November 30, 2024 | S

Your Move with Andy Stanley — to help people make better decisions and live with fewer regrets.

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Your Move with Andy Stanley | Andy Stanley - You'll Be Glad You Did (Part 6) | November 30, 2024
  • ...
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  • Andy stanley: hi, everybody.
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  • Welcome to "your move" where we help you make better decisions
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  • And live with fewer regrets.
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  • I'm andy stanley and i'll be your guide.
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  • Today, i'm sharing a piece of advice that you won't be glad
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  • You took initially, but you will be glad you took eventually.
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  • So if you're up for a challenge and you're ready to flip the
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  • Script from, "i wish i had" to "i'm glad i did" stick around.
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  • ♪♪♪
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  • ♪♪♪
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  • ♪♪♪
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  • ♪♪♪
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  • ♪♪♪
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  • Andy: today, we're wrapping up our series, "you'll be glad
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  • You did" timeless advice for troubled times.
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  • If you've been with us throughout this series,
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  • This is an advice series.
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  • It's based on the premise that we've all lived long enough to
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  • Have developed some good habits and some bad habits.
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  • So we've made some good decisions, some bad decisions.
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  • We've experienced the benefit of good habits and good decisions.
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  • We've all experienced the consequences of bad decisions
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  • And bad habits.
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  • All of us have stories that end with, "i'm so glad i did."
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  • Unfortunately, we all have stories that end with, "wow,
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  • I wish i had."
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  • We have stories that end with, "i'm glad i didn't" and we have
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  • Stories that end with, "i wish i hadn't."
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  • So this series is unoriginal, "you'll be glad you did" advice.
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  • It's just advice.
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  • These are not moral absolutes.
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  • These aren't imperatives.
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  • These aren't rules, okay?
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  • And the advice that we've been talking about throughout the
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  • Series sits between the rules, but it ensures--it pretty much
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  • Issue that if you'll take this advice, you won't break the
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  • Rules that have the potential to break your heart, to break your
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  • Life, to break your relationships, to cause you as
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  • We talked about last time to go broke.
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  • And again, this advice like the advice that you give because we
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  • All give advice when people want advice, it sits between
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  • The rules.
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  • It sits in the realm of wisdom, not moral absolutes, but wisdom.
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  • And we've defined wisdom in this series as simply insights
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  • Informed by the knowledge that life, that life is connected.
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  • Life is connected, means that today impacts tomorrow, that
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  • Yesterday impacted today.
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  • That one thing leads to another that we don't make decisions in
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  • Isolation that every single decision we make in some way
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  • Shows up in the future.
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  • That life is connected.
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  • And wisdom, wisdom surfaces when we begin asking questions with
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  • The knowledge that life is connected.
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  • So if you've not been with us, here's the advice we've given
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  • So far.
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  • Number one, listen.
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  • Then we talked about forgive, defer, live generous, and my
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  • Unoriginal, you'll be glad you did advice for today as we wrap
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  • Up the series is this: tell yourself the truth.
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  • Tell yourself the truth, specifically, tell yourself
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  • The truth about you.
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  • Tell yourself the truth about why you do what you do.
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  • Tell yourself the truth about why you don't do what you
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  • Ought to do.
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  • And the thing is this and i'm gonna give you an out.
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  • Even if you don't act on what you discover and even if you
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  • Don't act on what you admit to yourself, even if this does not
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  • Impact your behaviors at all, come on, at least tell yourself
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  • The truth.
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  • Now, here's why this is such a big deal.
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  • When you lie to another person, it damages the relationship.
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  • Even if the other person doesn't know you lied to them, it
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  • Damages the relationship because you know, and there's just
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  • Something between you and them and they often times can sense
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  • It even though they don't know what it is.
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  • When you lie to another person, you damage the relationship.
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  • You are basically at odds with them.
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  • When you lie to yourself, when you lie to yourself, you are
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  • At odds with you.
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  • As weird as it sounds, you actually damage your
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  • Relationship with yourself and you are no longer yourself.
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  • And eventually, in most cases, it's gonna put you, when you lie
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  • To yourself, it's gonna put you at odds with other people
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  • Because other people recognize when you're lying to yourself.
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  • We call lying to ourselves when somebody else is lying to
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  • Themselves, we just call that an excuse.
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  • So when you, in any area of life, refuse to tell yourself
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  • The truth, it's not only puts you at odds with you, you're not
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  • Only not your real self as we're gonna see, but it eventually
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  • Puts you at odds with other people because other people see
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  • Through your lame excuses and through my lame excuses, when we
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  • Come up with excuses for why we won't do what we need to do or
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  • Why we are doing things we need to stop doing.
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  • They see it, right?
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  • So i'll make you promise.
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  • It's kind of a big promise and i don't know your circumstances,
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  • But i'm confident that this is true.
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  • When you decide, and it's a decision, when you decide to
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  • Become ruthlessly honest with yourself, when you decide what,
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  • Whatever point you decide to be ruthlessly honest with yourself
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  • And let go of the pretend you, in a very short amount of time
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  • After you decide to become ruthlessly honest with yourself
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  • And let go of the pretend you, you will look back and you will
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  • Wonder who was that person?
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  • I don't even recognize that person.
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  • You will become such a different person that you will be
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  • Embarrassed of the person you used to be, which for some of
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  • You is the person you are right now because you won't be honest
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  • With yourself.
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  • And the people who love you most and the people who know you
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  • Best, they already know.
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  • They already know that they're dealing with the pretend you.
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  • The you that's pretending with him or her self,
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  • The you in hiding.
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  • And when you become the real you, because you decide to tell
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  • Yourself the truth and you come out of hiding, you'll become the
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  • Person or begin to become the person that god created you
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  • To be.
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  • When we lie to ourselves, we hide from ourselves, and
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  • You know what?
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  • It's exhausting.
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  • It's unhealthy.
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  • It diminishes our capability.
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  • It diminishes our potential.
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  • It gets in the way and it impacts our relationships as
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  • I said, with the people closest to us.
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  • So here's the bottom line, okay, look up here.
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  • Stop, stop doing that.
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  • Let's pray.
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  • Father.
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  • No, i mean, right. just, just stop doing it.
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  • I mean, i don't have to convince you you're adults.
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  • Nobody's taking notes is like, duh, i mean, this is
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  • Kind of common sense.
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  • I shouldn't lie to myself.
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  • When i lie to other people, it hurts a relationship.
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  • Lie to myself, it hurts a relationship with myself.
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  • I need to stop doing this, but this is really hard not to do.
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  • In fact, we are all-natural born liars.
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  • Every single one of us, right?
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  • Right.
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  • You got kids, right?
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  • Son, i need to have a conversation with you.
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  • We need to go over a few things.
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  • Four things in particular today for the next few minutes.
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  • I wanna teach you how you have to pay attention.
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  • I'm gonna teach you how to lie, deceive, excuse and blame, okay?
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  • So i need you to listen carefully because these are
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  • Important life skills, right?
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  • Now, i'm gonna teach you how to lie, deceive, excuse, and blame.
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  • And then next week your mom's gonna come back and she's gonna
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  • Teach you how to combine these things, okay?
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  • Because when you, when you master combining these things,
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  • I mean, this is a life, don't listen, this is important.
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  • "you gotta learn this stuff," said no parent anywhere, right?
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  • Including yours or mine.
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  • Because this, this is-- we come into the world.
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  • We're already prone to this and we're already good at this.
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  • Now, this is not an excuse to lie to other people.
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  • So take this in context.
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  • Lying to someone else.
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  • At least it kind of makes sense, right?
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  • But why in the world would we lie to ourselves?
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  • You lie to you and i lie to me for the very same reasons
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  • That we lie to other people.
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  • We lie to avoid.
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  • We lie to avoid admitting our need to change.
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  • Because if i can convince myself, i don't really need to
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  • Change, then i don't have to change.
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  • So i'm just gonna tell myself a lie about myself.
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  • So i don't have to change anything.
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  • We lie to avoid and we lie to protect.
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  • We lie to protect ourselves.
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  • This is hard, okay?
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  • We lie to protect ourselves from embarrassing,
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  • Truth about ourselves.
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  • We lie to ourselves, to protect ourselves from shameful things
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  • From the past or shameful things that are going on right now.
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  • Or we lie to protect ourselves from the reality of what a
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  • Stupid decision we just made financially, relationally,
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  • Academically, whatever it might be.
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  • Truth that actually makes us feel more like a loser than
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  • A winner.
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  • Bottom line.
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  • We lie to ourselves to feel better about ourselves and you
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  • Know, who could blame us?
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  • I mean, we all wanna feel good about ourselves.
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  • If you're a parent, you want your kids to feel good
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  • About themselves.
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  • And it's good to feel good about you but it's not good to lie
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  • In order to get there.
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  • Because this is important, lying, don't forget this, lying
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  • To ourselves to feel good about ourselves, keeps us from doing
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  • What's good for ourselves.
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  • Lying to feel good about ourselves keeps us from doing
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  • The good that is good for ourselves.
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  • Self deception, 100% of the time, self deception empowers us
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  • To avoid change.
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  • It empowers us to avoid the change that makes us a better
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  • Version of our selves.
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  • In fact, to get super analytical, i came up with this,
  • 00:09:19.644 --> 00:09:23.180
  • Just trying again.
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  • I got--it's gotta be simple for me or i can't carry it forward.
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  • That really lying to ourselves is actually, it's actually self
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  • Rejection masquerading as self protection.
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  • In other words, i'm trying to protect myself by not telling
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  • Myself the truth.
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  • But as long as i'm not telling myself the truth about why
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  • I did, why i did it, why i won't, why i want to,
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  • Why i'm always, why i never.
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  • As long as i'm telling myself a lie, i'm actually rejecting
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  • Myself because when you lie to another person,
  • 00:09:51.676 --> 00:09:53.844
  • You're rejecting them.
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  • You're saying you, you are not honorable enough to deserve
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  • The truth from me.
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  • You can't either handle the truth or i don't trust you
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  • With the truth or i don't know what you'll do with the truth.
  • 00:10:02.820 --> 00:10:04.955
  • So lying is always rejection.
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  • So when we lie to ourselves and we deceive ourselves about
  • 00:10:07.324 --> 00:10:10.161
  • Anything, it's really self rejection masquerading as no,
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  • No, no, i'm just trying to protect myself.
  • 00:10:13.831 --> 00:10:16.767
  • I lie to protect myself, which puts me at odds with myself
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  • And others.
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  • And granted sometimes, i mean, i get this, okay, i'm human.
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  • Sometimes it's just easier to lie than to try.
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  • I get that.
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  • So we say things like, well, i don't really care what
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  • They think.
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  • Yes, you do.
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  • In fact, little heads up little sidebar.
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  • You never say, i don't care what they think unless you care what
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  • They think.
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  • Otherwise you wouldn't even be thinking about them, okay?
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  • The reason that you're so adamant, i don't care what they
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  • Think is you're thinking about them and you're thinking about
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  • What they're thinking about you.
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  • You do care what they think, but it's easier to lie than to try,
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  • You know, i've always been this way.
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  • No, you haven't.
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  • Right, i'm fine.
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  • No, you're not.
  • 00:10:52.436 --> 00:10:53.771
  • But it's--sometimes it's just easier to lie than to try.
  • 00:10:53.771 --> 00:10:57.208
  • And when we don't try, we never become everything we could
  • 00:10:57.208 --> 00:11:00.578
  • Possibly be.
  • 00:11:00.578 --> 00:11:01.912
  • And it doesn't just impact us.
  • 00:11:01.912 --> 00:11:03.247
  • It impacts the people around us.
  • 00:11:03.247 --> 00:11:04.615
  • It impacts the people we love, it impacts the people who
  • 00:11:04.615 --> 00:11:06.150
  • Are depending on us.
  • 00:11:06.150 --> 00:11:07.585
  • It depends, it impacts the people who are trying to get
  • 00:11:07.585 --> 00:11:09.987
  • Close to us.
  • 00:11:09.987 --> 00:11:11.655
  • Because as long as you're lying to yourself, there is
  • 00:11:11.655 --> 00:11:14.892
  • An obstacle between you and the people who wanna be close
  • 00:11:14.892 --> 00:11:17.928
  • To you.
  • 00:11:17.928 --> 00:11:19.263
  • There--you are diminishing your own.
  • 00:11:19.263 --> 00:11:20.598
  • Listen, you're diminishing your own capacity for intimacy
  • 00:11:20.598 --> 00:11:24.702
  • Because you can't have intimacy with someone who's dishonest
  • 00:11:24.702 --> 00:11:28.139
  • With you or dishonest with themselves.
  • 00:11:28.139 --> 00:11:33.344
  • Now, in a professional environment, if you're a manager
  • 00:11:33.344 --> 00:11:37.715
  • Or an employer or you run a franchise or you have a company,
  • 00:11:37.715 --> 00:11:40.985
  • In a professional environment, when you discover that you have
  • 00:11:40.985 --> 00:11:43.988
  • Hired a liar, you eventually fire the liar.
  • 00:11:43.988 --> 00:11:48.759
  • You can't work with a liar.
  • 00:11:48.759 --> 00:11:50.461
  • You just can't.
  • 00:11:50.461 --> 00:11:51.829
  • And so if you have the capacity and you have the authority, when
  • 00:11:51.829 --> 00:11:53.931
  • You discover, you know what this person is just a perpetual liar.
  • 00:11:53.931 --> 00:11:56.600
  • You fire the liar.
  • 00:11:56.600 --> 00:11:58.636
  • So i wanna give you some secondary advice.
  • 00:11:58.636 --> 00:12:01.205
  • As we talk about advice in this series, i wanna challenge you
  • 00:12:01.205 --> 00:12:04.308
  • And encourage you to fire the liar.
  • 00:12:04.308 --> 00:12:06.710
  • I want you to fire the dishonest version of you and hire
  • 00:12:06.710 --> 00:12:12.483
  • An honest version of you.
  • 00:12:12.483 --> 00:12:15.152
  • An honest version that will tell yourself the truth.
  • 00:12:15.152 --> 00:12:18.422
  • Tell yourself the truth.
  • 00:12:18.422 --> 00:12:20.090
  • Even if the truth makes you feel bad about yourself,
  • 00:12:20.090 --> 00:12:24.161
  • Tell yourself the truth, even if the truth makes you feel bad
  • 00:12:24.161 --> 00:12:27.031
  • About yourself.
  • 00:12:27.031 --> 00:12:28.365
  • Contrary to what culture is telling us constantly,
  • 00:12:28.365 --> 00:12:31.035
  • There are worse things than feeling bad about yourself.
  • 00:12:31.035 --> 00:12:34.905
  • There are worse things than feeling bad about yourself.
  • 00:12:34.972 --> 00:12:37.508
  • Hanging on to what's bad about yourself is worse than feeling
  • 00:12:37.508 --> 00:12:41.078
  • Bad about yourself.
  • 00:12:41.078 --> 00:12:42.446
  • And lying to ourselves enables us, as i said, empowers us
  • 00:12:42.446 --> 00:12:46.016
  • To hang on to those things about us that we should let go
  • 00:12:46.016 --> 00:12:49.186
  • And deal with.
  • 00:12:49.186 --> 00:12:50.554
  • And refusing to acknowledge what's bad about ourselves is
  • 00:12:50.554 --> 00:12:53.357
  • Bad for ourselves.
  • 00:12:53.357 --> 00:12:55.125
  • And it's bad for the people around us as well.
  • 00:12:55.125 --> 00:12:58.562
  • And then there's this, it gets worse.
  • 00:12:58.562 --> 00:13:00.264
  • There's this, when and again, if you've raised kids, you've seen
  • 00:13:00.264 --> 00:13:03.467
  • This but we think all those are middle school and
  • 00:13:03.467 --> 00:13:05.069
  • High school students.
  • 00:13:05.069 --> 00:13:06.437
  • No, this is just, this is just human beings.
  • 00:13:06.437 --> 00:13:07.771
  • When we aren't honest about why we're doing what we're doing,
  • 00:13:07.771 --> 00:13:10.975
  • When we're not honest with ourselves about why we're doing
  • 00:13:10.975 --> 00:13:14.011
  • What we're doing.
  • 00:13:14.011 --> 00:13:15.579
  • We have a difficult time taking responsibility for the outcome
  • 00:13:15.579 --> 00:13:19.683
  • Of our doing.
  • 00:13:19.683 --> 00:13:21.051
  • This is so important.
  • 00:13:21.051 --> 00:13:22.386
  • This is--this in some ways, explains part of what we see
  • 00:13:22.386 --> 00:13:24.455
  • Happening culturally in our country and in the world.
  • 00:13:24.455 --> 00:13:28.092
  • When we lie to ourselves about why we're doing what we're
  • 00:13:28.092 --> 00:13:31.095
  • Doing, it is very difficult for us to take responsibility for
  • 00:13:31.095 --> 00:13:34.732
  • The outcome of our doing because it's not really our fault.
  • 00:13:34.732 --> 00:13:40.070
  • It's not really your fault.
  • 00:13:40.070 --> 00:13:42.673
  • I mean, it wasn't you--you're not even honest about why you
  • 00:13:42.673 --> 00:13:45.409
  • Did what you did.
  • 00:13:45.409 --> 00:13:46.777
  • So why would you be honest about whose responsibility it is as a
  • 00:13:46.777 --> 00:13:48.913
  • Result of what you did.
  • 00:13:48.913 --> 00:13:50.247
  • And we have an adjective.
  • 00:13:50.247 --> 00:13:51.615
  • We have an adjective for people who refuse to take
  • 00:13:51.615 --> 00:13:53.918
  • Responsibility for the outcome of their doing.
  • 00:13:53.918 --> 00:13:56.553
  • We call those people irresponsible.
  • 00:13:56.553 --> 00:14:00.824
  • Self deception.
  • 00:14:00.824 --> 00:14:02.693
  • Eventually or immediately, self deception always results in
  • 00:14:02.693 --> 00:14:08.933
  • Irresponsibility and my irresponsibility eventually
  • 00:14:08.933 --> 00:14:13.804
  • Becomes somebody else's responsibility.
  • 00:14:13.804 --> 00:14:16.840
  • And your irresponsibility eventually becomes somebody
  • 00:14:16.840 --> 00:14:20.277
  • Else's responsibility.
  • 00:14:20.277 --> 00:14:21.845
  • So, come on, just tell yourself, tell yourself the truth.
  • 00:14:21.845 --> 00:14:27.484
  • Just tell yourself the truth.
  • 00:14:27.484 --> 00:14:29.486
  • It's terrifying.
  • 00:14:29.486 --> 00:14:31.555
  • It's shaming, it's embarrassing.
  • 00:14:31.555 --> 00:14:34.758
  • Come on, it's just you and you.
  • 00:14:34.758 --> 00:14:37.628
  • It is just you and you.
  • 00:14:37.628 --> 00:14:40.197
  • The only person that's gonna be embarrassed is you.
  • 00:14:40.197 --> 00:14:43.400
  • The only person that's gonna feel the shame is you.
  • 00:14:43.400 --> 00:14:45.769
  • The only person that's gonna feel bad about themselves
  • 00:14:45.769 --> 00:14:48.172
  • Is you.
  • 00:14:48.172 --> 00:14:49.506
  • And the moment you tell yourself the truth and the moment you
  • 00:14:49.506 --> 00:14:51.508
  • Begin to act on what you discover this, this--today is
  • 00:14:51.508 --> 00:14:54.345
  • Not about acting on it.
  • 00:14:54.345 --> 00:14:55.679
  • That's up to you.
  • 00:14:55.679 --> 00:14:57.047
  • I just wanna get you to the table, right?
  • 00:14:57.047 --> 00:14:58.382
  • The moment you begin to behave on what you've discovered,
  • 00:14:58.382 --> 00:15:02.052
  • The moment you begin to allow that truth to settle into
  • 00:15:02.052 --> 00:15:04.989
  • Your thinking.
  • 00:15:04.989 --> 00:15:06.523
  • You become you don't just become a better version of you.
  • 00:15:06.523 --> 00:15:09.226
  • You become you.
  • 00:15:09.226 --> 00:15:12.429
  • Jesus said, and we can all quote this.
  • 00:15:12.429 --> 00:15:14.131
  • I mean, everybody knows this first.
  • 00:15:14.131 --> 00:15:15.566
  • "you shall know the truth," jesus said, "the truth will set
  • 00:15:15.566 --> 00:15:17.601
  • You free."
  • 00:15:17.601 --> 00:15:18.969
  • And it's true and telling yourself the truth sets us free
  • 00:15:18.969 --> 00:15:22.406
  • And telling ourselves the truth about why we do and why we don't
  • 00:15:22.406 --> 00:15:25.075
  • Is what sets us free to become who god created us to be.
  • 00:15:25.075 --> 00:15:28.645
  • Because you can't become fully you and fully alive as long as
  • 00:15:28.645 --> 00:15:31.448
  • You're hiding and you can't become fully you and fully alive
  • 00:15:31.448 --> 00:15:34.418
  • As long as you're lying to yourself.
  • 00:15:34.418 --> 00:15:37.287
  • Out of sorts with yourself.
  • 00:15:37.287 --> 00:15:41.825
  • So, quit hiding.
  • 00:15:41.825 --> 00:15:44.128
  • Now, i know what a lot of us are thinking, okay?
  • 00:15:44.128 --> 00:15:47.398
  • If i was sitting there, i know part of what i'd be thinking,
  • 00:15:47.398 --> 00:15:49.133
  • I'd be thinking, you know what.
  • 00:15:49.133 --> 00:15:50.601
  • I sure hope is listening to this, right?
  • 00:15:50.601 --> 00:15:54.538
  • And i'm so glad they're hearing this.
  • 00:15:54.538 --> 00:15:57.207
  • I'm so glad.
  • 00:15:57.207 --> 00:15:58.575
  • I--andy, i sure you, this is really good, very compelling,
  • 00:15:58.575 --> 00:16:01.345
  • Very emotional, very, very good.
  • 00:16:01.345 --> 00:16:02.679
  • Good presentation, good event, good, yeah.
  • 00:16:02.679 --> 00:16:04.748
  • So many people need to hear this.
  • 00:16:04.748 --> 00:16:06.483
  • I hope all the self deceivers, you know, kinda get their arms
  • 00:16:06.483 --> 00:16:09.820
  • Around this and you know what i do too, including you.
  • 00:16:09.820 --> 00:16:13.757
  • So here's what i'm gonna do.
  • 00:16:13.757 --> 00:16:15.559
  • To be an equal opportunity offender, i'm gonna read a
  • 00:16:15.559 --> 00:16:19.763
  • Passage of scripture that has a promise attached and then
  • 00:16:19.763 --> 00:16:24.935
  • I'm gonna ask you a series of questions.
  • 00:16:24.935 --> 00:16:28.572
  • So the passage i'm gonna read is written by the apostle paul and
  • 00:16:28.572 --> 00:16:31.708
  • The context of where he wrote this, again, we can't--there's
  • 00:16:31.708 --> 00:16:34.078
  • No way to explain this because we can't smell it and see it
  • 00:16:34.078 --> 00:16:36.680
  • And fear it and taste it.
  • 00:16:36.680 --> 00:16:38.048
  • But he's in rome, he's in nero's rome.
  • 00:16:38.048 --> 00:16:41.151
  • He's been arrested and he's waiting for his trial and he's
  • 00:16:41.151 --> 00:16:43.520
  • Waited a long time.
  • 00:16:43.520 --> 00:16:44.988
  • And he's in nero's rome.
  • 00:16:44.988 --> 00:16:46.323
  • Things don't go well for christians in nero's rome.
  • 00:16:46.323 --> 00:16:49.093
  • Things don't go well for christian leaders in particular
  • 00:16:49.093 --> 00:16:52.096
  • And influencers in nero's rome.
  • 00:16:52.096 --> 00:16:54.798
  • And he's waiting and he writes this letter to christians.
  • 00:16:54.798 --> 00:16:59.236
  • It became a letter that circulated all around.
  • 00:16:59.236 --> 00:17:01.505
  • So within that context, he writes the following, okay.
  • 00:17:01.505 --> 00:17:05.375
  • So you're ready for this and let me just stop and say this.
  • 00:17:05.375 --> 00:17:07.211
  • If you're not a christian or you're not a jesus follower,
  • 00:17:07.211 --> 00:17:09.413
  • You're not religious or maybe you're part of another faith,
  • 00:17:09.413 --> 00:17:11.381
  • Or you used to have faith and you lost it.
  • 00:17:11.381 --> 00:17:14.151
  • This is for you two, okay?
  • 00:17:14.151 --> 00:17:18.122
  • The application isn't become a christian.
  • 00:17:18.122 --> 00:17:21.625
  • The invitation, it's an invitation more than
  • 00:17:21.625 --> 00:17:23.427
  • An application.
  • 00:17:23.427 --> 00:17:24.795
  • The invitation is to just for a moment, pull back the curtain
  • 00:17:24.795 --> 00:17:29.333
  • And just be honest with yourself.
  • 00:17:29.333 --> 00:17:32.236
  • Here's what paul writes, it's so powerful, it sounds like
  • 00:17:32.236 --> 00:17:35.772
  • A conclusion, but he's really introducing something.
  • 00:17:35.772 --> 00:17:37.774
  • He writes this, he says, "and the peace of god,
  • 00:17:37.774 --> 00:17:45.449
  • The peace of god."
  • 00:17:45.449 --> 00:17:46.783
  • Imagine if you had the peace of god.
  • 00:17:46.783 --> 00:17:48.585
  • Imagine if god knows everything about everybody and you
  • 00:17:48.585 --> 00:17:52.990
  • Can have peace.
  • 00:17:52.990 --> 00:17:54.358
  • It's the ability to have peace.
  • 00:17:54.358 --> 00:17:56.360
  • Well, he describes it, "and the peace of god," which doesn't
  • 00:17:56.360 --> 00:17:58.662
  • Make any sense.
  • 00:17:58.662 --> 00:18:00.030
  • It transcends all understanding, will guard, this is so amazing,
  • 00:18:00.030 --> 00:18:04.034
  • "will guard your heart," like a warrior, "guard your heart
  • 00:18:04.034 --> 00:18:07.938
  • And guard your mind in christ jesus."
  • 00:18:07.938 --> 00:18:10.407
  • He says there is something that is available to you,
  • 00:18:10.407 --> 00:18:15.279
  • The peace of god.
  • 00:18:15.279 --> 00:18:16.613
  • The peace of god is--the world, you know, is going is
  • 00:18:16.613 --> 00:18:20.517
  • Upside down.
  • 00:18:20.517 --> 00:18:21.885
  • My health is upside down.
  • 00:18:21.885 --> 00:18:23.220
  • You know, things are out of control, but i have peace
  • 00:18:23.220 --> 00:18:24.888
  • Because i have the peace of god and god knows all of this and
  • 00:18:24.888 --> 00:18:28.091
  • God isn't worried.
  • 00:18:28.091 --> 00:18:29.459
  • "the peace of god that guards your heart and guard your mind
  • 00:18:29.459 --> 00:18:32.696
  • In christ jesus."
  • 00:18:32.696 --> 00:18:34.064
  • They're like, yeah, i'd like to have some of that.
  • 00:18:34.064 --> 00:18:35.399
  • And he says, i'm gonna tell you how to get it.
  • 00:18:35.399 --> 00:18:38.535
  • Here's what he says.
  • 00:18:38.535 --> 00:18:39.870
  • So if you want the peace of god that guards your heart in christ
  • 00:18:39.870 --> 00:18:44.608
  • Jesus, heart guard, your mind, that transcends--doesn't make
  • 00:18:44.608 --> 00:18:47.578
  • Any sense, but there's peace in the midst of things that don't
  • 00:18:47.578 --> 00:18:50.347
  • Make sense.
  • 00:18:50.347 --> 00:18:51.682
  • He says, here's what you do, whatever is true,
  • 00:18:51.682 --> 00:18:59.856
  • Whatever is true.
  • 00:18:59.856 --> 00:19:01.225
  • Just the true things.
  • 00:19:01.225 --> 00:19:03.093
  • Whatever is noble, this is a word we don't use much noble,
  • 00:19:03.093 --> 00:19:06.663
  • Worthy of respect, dignified.
  • 00:19:06.663 --> 00:19:09.866
  • Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is worthy
  • 00:19:09.866 --> 00:19:14.271
  • Of respect, whatever is dignified, whatever is right.
  • 00:19:14.271 --> 00:19:19.977
  • Whatever is the right thing.
  • 00:19:19.977 --> 00:19:21.678
  • Whatever is right.
  • 00:19:21.678 --> 00:19:24.881
  • Whatever is pure.
  • 00:19:24.881 --> 00:19:26.883
  • Pure means unmixed.
  • 00:19:26.883 --> 00:19:29.086
  • No shades of gray.
  • 00:19:29.086 --> 00:19:30.721
  • Just unmixed, undiluted, unmixed, whatever is pure.
  • 00:19:30.721 --> 00:19:35.459
  • Then whatever is lovely meaning whatever is pleasing.
  • 00:19:35.459 --> 00:19:40.764
  • Whatever is all is well.
  • 00:19:40.764 --> 00:19:45.002
  • And whatever is admirable, commendable, respectable.
  • 00:19:45.002 --> 00:19:52.276
  • Look at that list a second.
  • 00:19:52.276 --> 00:19:53.977
  • Whatever is true, noble, right?
  • 00:19:53.977 --> 00:19:58.548
  • Pure, lovely, admirable.
  • 00:19:58.548 --> 00:20:02.552
  • He says here's what i want you to do.
  • 00:20:02.552 --> 00:20:03.920
  • You wanna experience the peace of god?
  • 00:20:03.920 --> 00:20:05.255
  • Do you wanna experience the peace of god that will leave you
  • 00:20:05.255 --> 00:20:07.391
  • At peace with yourself?
  • 00:20:07.391 --> 00:20:09.459
  • He says, i want you to think about those things.
  • 00:20:09.459 --> 00:20:14.097
  • This is a powerful statement.
  • 00:20:14.097 --> 00:20:15.732
  • It's a mathematical term.
  • 00:20:15.732 --> 00:20:17.567
  • He says, i want you to measure your thoughts against that list.
  • 00:20:17.567 --> 00:20:23.774
  • I want you to measure your, i want you to align your thoughts.
  • 00:20:23.774 --> 00:20:27.944
  • I want i want you to think about and embrace what is true,
  • 00:20:27.944 --> 00:20:32.749
  • What is noble, what is pure, what is undiluted,
  • 00:20:32.749 --> 00:20:39.089
  • What is right, what is lovely, what is worth celebrating.
  • 00:20:39.089 --> 00:20:41.658
  • I want you to embrace that and i want you to expel everything
  • 00:20:41.658 --> 00:20:46.129
  • Contrary to it.
  • 00:20:46.129 --> 00:20:48.799
  • Oh, he says, and here's the promise, "and the god of peace
  • 00:20:48.799 --> 00:20:54.938
  • Will be with you."
  • 00:20:54.938 --> 00:20:57.341
  • Now, here's something interesting.
  • 00:20:57.341 --> 00:20:58.709
  • We think oh god is with us all the time, true.
  • 00:20:58.709 --> 00:21:00.877
  • Paul is talking about something else.
  • 00:21:00.877 --> 00:21:02.679
  • He's saying, do you want to experience, maybe even feel,
  • 00:21:02.679 --> 00:21:09.419
  • But do you want to experience the peace of god?
  • 00:21:09.419 --> 00:21:13.290
  • He says, then you have to expel and do away with all the deluded
  • 00:21:13.290 --> 00:21:18.495
  • Thoughts, all the impure, all the unrighteous, and embrace
  • 00:21:18.495 --> 00:21:22.499
  • What is absolutely true.
  • 00:21:22.499 --> 00:21:28.038
  • And do you know what you get when you give yourself
  • 00:21:28.038 --> 00:21:31.641
  • Permission to tell yourself the truth about you?
  • 00:21:31.641 --> 00:21:36.446
  • You get you.
  • 00:21:36.446 --> 00:21:39.716
  • The real you.
  • 00:21:39.716 --> 00:21:41.385
  • Not the hidden you.
  • 00:21:41.385 --> 00:21:42.886
  • Not the deluded you.
  • 00:21:42.886 --> 00:21:44.688
  • Not the untruthful you.
  • 00:21:44.688 --> 00:21:46.490
  • Not the lack of nobility you.
  • 00:21:46.490 --> 00:21:48.625
  • Not the love that unlovely you.
  • 00:21:48.625 --> 00:21:52.162
  • Because you will have peace with god who is at peace with you,
  • 00:21:52.162 --> 00:21:59.269
  • Which allows you to be who god created you to be.
  • 00:21:59.269 --> 00:22:04.775
  • Now, i'm about to ask you a series of questions.
  • 00:22:04.775 --> 00:22:09.546
  • Most of them are irrelevant for you.
  • 00:22:09.546 --> 00:22:12.716
  • But if one of them lights up your conscience, you're gonna be
  • 00:22:12.716 --> 00:22:16.586
  • Tempted to lie, not to me.
  • 00:22:16.586 --> 00:22:19.055
  • You're going to be tempted to lie to you because you already
  • 00:22:19.055 --> 00:22:22.692
  • Have a go to answer for this question.
  • 00:22:22.692 --> 00:22:25.395
  • Because you've given the same answer over and over and over
  • 00:22:25.395 --> 00:22:28.732
  • And over every time anyone else has asked you.
  • 00:22:28.732 --> 00:22:32.202
  • So i want you to do yourself a favor in these next few moments.
  • 00:22:32.202 --> 00:22:36.173
  • And just tell yourself the truth, okay?
  • 00:22:36.173 --> 00:22:41.611
  • You ready?
  • 00:22:41.611 --> 00:22:42.979
  • Here we go.
  • 00:22:42.979 --> 00:22:44.381
  • First question.
  • 00:22:44.381 --> 00:22:47.184
  • Why are you avoiding?
  • 00:22:47.184 --> 00:22:50.454
  • Him?
  • 00:22:50.454 --> 00:22:51.822
  • Her?
  • 00:22:51.822 --> 00:22:53.156
  • That conversation?
  • 00:22:53.156 --> 00:22:54.524
  • That thing?
  • 00:22:54.524 --> 00:22:55.859
  • What--you're just constantly--i'll ask it
  • 00:22:55.859 --> 00:22:58.528
  • A different way.
  • 00:22:58.528 --> 00:22:59.896
  • Why are you putting that off?
  • 00:22:59.896 --> 00:23:02.699
  • What? really?
  • 00:23:01.364 --> 00:23:04.768
  • No, no, no, no.
  • 00:23:04.768 --> 00:23:06.102
  • I wouldn't see you-- ask you about it.
  • 00:23:06.102 --> 00:23:07.437
  • You got your--but no, no, no, no, just this is, this is just
  • 00:23:07.437 --> 00:23:09.473
  • You and you and your heavenly father who already knows.
  • 00:23:09.473 --> 00:23:11.541
  • Why?
  • 00:23:11.541 --> 00:23:12.909
  • Why are you avoiding?
  • 00:23:12.909 --> 00:23:14.478
  • Why are you putting that off?
  • 00:23:14.478 --> 00:23:17.481
  • Why won't you get help?
  • 00:23:17.481 --> 00:23:20.550
  • I mean, everybody who loves you thinks you need help and you've
  • 00:23:20.550 --> 00:23:22.719
  • Got 25 reasons why you don't need help and but come on, this
  • 00:23:22.719 --> 00:23:25.322
  • Is just you and you and your heavenly father who knows you
  • 00:23:25.322 --> 00:23:28.258
  • Need help.
  • 00:23:28.258 --> 00:23:30.861
  • Why won't you get help?
  • 00:23:30.861 --> 00:23:32.229
  • Why won't you ask for help?
  • 00:23:32.229 --> 00:23:33.563
  • Why?
  • 00:23:33.563 --> 00:23:34.931
  • Why won't you go see a counselor?
  • 00:23:34.931 --> 00:23:37.667
  • Really?
  • 00:23:37.667 --> 00:23:39.002
  • Now, i know it's expensive but that come on,
  • 00:23:39.002 --> 00:23:40.370
  • You do what you wanna do.
  • 00:23:40.370 --> 00:23:41.705
  • You always do what you wanna do.
  • 00:23:41.705 --> 00:23:43.073
  • You find a way when you wanna do it, come on.
  • 00:23:43.073 --> 00:23:45.075
  • Just you and you and your heavenly father loves you.
  • 00:23:45.075 --> 00:23:46.510
  • Why won't you go get help and why won't you involve
  • 00:23:46.510 --> 00:23:49.846
  • Somebody else?
  • 00:23:49.846 --> 00:23:53.283
  • Ladies, why do you keep going out with him?
  • 00:23:53.283 --> 00:23:58.522
  • He's not good for you.
  • 00:23:58.522 --> 00:23:59.890
  • You know, he's not good for you.
  • 00:23:59.890 --> 00:24:01.224
  • Your mama knows he's not good for you.
  • 00:24:01.224 --> 00:24:02.559
  • Your friends know he knows, everybody knows but you and you
  • 00:24:02.559 --> 00:24:04.528
  • Know, come on and you've got, i know you got a reason, of course
  • 00:24:04.528 --> 00:24:07.097
  • You have a reason.
  • 00:24:07.097 --> 00:24:08.465
  • You're a rational person.
  • 00:24:08.465 --> 00:24:09.799
  • You feel like you gotta have an answer when people ask
  • 00:24:09.799 --> 00:24:12.536
  • But come on.
  • 00:24:12.536 --> 00:24:18.475
  • Why do you keep going out with her.
  • 00:24:18.475 --> 00:24:22.646
  • Really?
  • 00:24:22.646 --> 00:24:26.716
  • Why did you file for divorce?
  • 00:24:26.716 --> 00:24:29.553
  • Not the go to answer.
  • 00:24:29.553 --> 00:24:31.054
  • Maybe it was ten years ago and you're still given
  • 00:24:31.054 --> 00:24:32.989
  • The go-to answer.
  • 00:24:32.989 --> 00:24:34.925
  • Have you ever truly acknowledged to yourself why you filed
  • 00:24:34.925 --> 00:24:41.565
  • For divorce?
  • 00:24:41.565 --> 00:24:43.099
  • Have you ever--it's terrifying because between you and you and
  • 00:24:43.099 --> 00:24:47.037
  • God, it was a really bad reason.
  • 00:24:47.037 --> 00:24:49.806
  • So of course you're not gonna share that and you've put it
  • 00:24:49.806 --> 00:24:52.108
  • So far in the back that you have begun to believe your
  • 00:24:52.108 --> 00:24:55.478
  • Own narrative.
  • 00:24:55.478 --> 00:24:56.846
  • But come on, you wanna be free, you wanna be, you, you want
  • 00:24:56.846 --> 00:25:00.150
  • The barrier between you and whoever you wanna be intimate
  • 00:25:00.150 --> 00:25:02.185
  • With to come down.
  • 00:25:02.185 --> 00:25:03.820
  • Have you really?
  • 00:25:03.820 --> 00:25:05.388
  • Why did you file for divorce?
  • 00:25:05.388 --> 00:25:09.426
  • Why are you taking that job?
  • 00:25:09.426 --> 00:25:12.929
  • Why are you quitting your job?
  • 00:25:12.929 --> 00:25:19.736
  • This is next one.
  • 00:25:19.736 --> 00:25:23.273
  • What's the real reason you don't call your kids?
  • 00:25:23.273 --> 00:25:28.678
  • What's the real reason you don't call your mom?
  • 00:25:28.678 --> 00:25:32.649
  • What's the real reason you don't call your dad, your brother
  • 00:25:32.649 --> 00:25:36.753
  • Or your sister?
  • 00:25:36.753 --> 00:25:38.121
  • I know there was that thing at christmas and that thing at
  • 00:25:38.121 --> 00:25:39.789
  • Thanksgiving and he was a terrible dad or she wasn't
  • 00:25:39.789 --> 00:25:41.524
  • There for you.
  • 00:25:41.524 --> 00:25:42.892
  • Yeah, yeah.
  • 00:25:42.892 --> 00:25:44.227
  • When you tell your story, everybody's like, i wouldn't
  • 00:25:44.227 --> 00:25:45.595
  • Call him either.
  • 00:25:45.595 --> 00:25:46.930
  • But have you been 100% honest with yourself about that?
  • 00:25:46.930 --> 00:25:53.036
  • Why the real reason, why won't you tell her the truth about
  • 00:25:53.036 --> 00:25:58.141
  • What's going on?
  • 00:25:58.141 --> 00:25:59.576
  • Oh, i don't want to hurt her feelings.
  • 00:25:59.576 --> 00:26:00.944
  • Mm mm, mm mm.
  • 00:26:00.944 --> 00:26:02.278
  • No, why won't you tell her the truth about what's going on?
  • 00:26:02.278 --> 00:26:05.115
  • The real reason.
  • 00:26:05.115 --> 00:26:06.683
  • Why won't you tell him the truth about what's going on?
  • 00:26:06.683 --> 00:26:13.089
  • Why don't you go back and finish school?
  • 00:26:13.089 --> 00:26:17.127
  • Uh, uh, no, really?
  • 00:26:17.127 --> 00:26:18.995
  • Why won't you go back and finish school?
  • 00:26:18.995 --> 00:26:20.830
  • Have you ever been?
  • 00:26:20.830 --> 00:26:22.165
  • You don't have to go back and finish school.
  • 00:26:22.165 --> 00:26:23.533
  • You don't have to do anything.
  • 00:26:23.533 --> 00:26:24.868
  • But have you been honest with yourself about why you won't
  • 00:26:24.868 --> 00:26:26.569
  • Go back and finish?
  • 00:26:26.569 --> 00:26:28.338
  • Then for all of us, what are you afraid of?
  • 00:26:28.338 --> 00:26:33.309
  • What?
  • 00:26:33.309 --> 00:26:34.644
  • I'm not afraid of anything?
  • 00:26:34.644 --> 00:26:36.012
  • Well, yeah, you just admitted what you're afraid if you're
  • 00:26:36.012 --> 00:26:37.347
  • Afraid of admitting what you're afraid of.
  • 00:26:37.347 --> 00:26:38.715
  • I'm not afraid of any.
  • 00:26:38.715 --> 00:26:40.050
  • Oh, come on.
  • 00:26:40.050 --> 00:26:41.418
  • What are you, what are you afraid of?
  • 00:26:41.418 --> 00:26:42.752
  • And then maybe most relevant question of all, why doesn't
  • 00:26:42.752 --> 00:26:45.689
  • Andy mind his own business?
  • 00:26:45.689 --> 00:26:47.023
  • [audience laughing]
  • 00:26:47.023 --> 00:26:50.560
  • Andy: isn't this horrible?
  • 00:26:52.195 --> 00:26:53.530
  • Terrifying?
  • 00:26:53.530 --> 00:26:54.898
  • I'm making this next thing up.
  • 00:26:54.898 --> 00:26:56.232
  • Okay.
  • 00:26:56.232 --> 00:26:57.567
  • I just feel like god's sitting on the edge of the seat going,
  • 00:26:57.567 --> 00:26:59.302
  • "come on, come on, come, come on, come on, you can do it.
  • 00:26:59.302 --> 00:27:02.405
  • Come on, come out of hiding."
  • 00:27:02.405 --> 00:27:05.008
  • Tell yourself the truth.
  • 00:27:05.008 --> 00:27:09.079
  • Lies lose their power in the light.
  • 00:27:09.079 --> 00:27:13.717
  • Lies lose their grip when exposed to the truth.
  • 00:27:13.717 --> 00:27:18.788
  • Tell yourself the truth.
  • 00:27:18.788 --> 00:27:21.057
  • You will be glad you did not initially, eventually, because
  • 00:27:21.057 --> 00:27:27.564
  • You'll have peace with god.
  • 00:27:27.564 --> 00:27:28.898
  • You'll have the god of peace and you'll be at peace
  • 00:27:28.898 --> 00:27:32.202
  • With yourself.
  • 00:27:32.202 --> 00:27:33.803
  • And jesus said truth sets us free.
  • 00:27:33.803 --> 00:27:35.872
  • In fact, jesus said you will be free indeed.
  • 00:27:35.872 --> 00:27:40.110
  • So tell yourself the truth.
  • 00:27:40.110 --> 00:27:44.981
  • Andy: well, thanks so much for watching.
  • 00:27:45.949 --> 00:27:47.283
  • And as a special thank you, we've developed
  • 00:27:47.283 --> 00:27:48.985
  • Some resources with you in mind.
  • 00:27:48.985 --> 00:27:50.820
  • And the best part is they're absolutely free,
  • 00:27:50.820 --> 00:27:53.022
  • Just go to the website at the bottom of your screen,
  • 00:27:53.022 --> 00:27:55.125
  • And you'll find tools for deepening your faith,
  • 00:27:55.125 --> 00:27:57.193
  • Including study guides and a gratitude guide.
  • 00:27:57.193 --> 00:27:59.796
  • Again, thanks so much for watching.
  • 00:27:59.796 --> 00:28:01.164
  • And we will see you right back here next time
  • 00:28:01.164 --> 00:28:02.966
  • On "your move."
  • 00:28:02.966 --> 00:28:20.917
  • ...
  • 00:28:24.154 --> 00:28:29.010