Andy Stanley - Your Integrity, Our World (Part 3)

February 21, 2026 | 28:29

Your Move with Andy Stanley — to help people make better decisions and live with fewer regrets.

#Integrity #Lifestyle #Choices #Desire #Heart'sDesire #Flesh #Honesty #Lies #Self-Denial #Insecurity #Temptation #AndyStanley

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Your Move with Andy Stanley | Andy Stanley - Your Integrity, Our World (Part 3) | February 21, 2026

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Andy stanley: hi, everybody.
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Welcome to "your move," where we help you make better decisions
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And live with fewer regrets.
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I'm andy stanley, and i'll be your guide.
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And today, we're talking about appetites.
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Appetites, you rule them or they rule you.
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You rule them or they may ruin you
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And perhaps people close to you.
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So, this is a big deal.
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Stick around and we'll talk about it,
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Right here on "your move."
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♪♪♪
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Andy stanley: so today, we're in part three of our series
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"your integrity, our world," "your integrity, our world."
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And we basically loosely defined integrity and i'm gonna give you
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Specific definition in just a minute.
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Loosely defined integrity as the resolve or the courage to do the
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Right and virtuous noble thing just because it's the right and
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Virtuous a noble thing to do even when it costs us, even when
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There's a price tag attached.
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So we're just gonna do the right thing because it's the right
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Thing regardless of the consequences.
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As we've said all along, integrity is something we
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Celebrate in others.
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In fact, we actually expect it in others.
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The fact that we expect it in others points to this big ought
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To that kinda hangs over all of us, an ought to that we didn't
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Create, an ought to we can't seem to shake, an ought to that
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We hold other people accountable to, "this is what they ought to
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Do, this is what you ought to do, this is what i expected you
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To do because this is what you ought to do."
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But then, when it comes to our personal lives, sometimes we
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Don't always do what we ought to do.
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And integrity or a lack of integrity, it is personal.
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It's my personal integrity but, as we've said throughout this
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Series, it may be personal but it is not private because the
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Load or the consequence of a lack of integrity, the load or
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The consequence of a breach in integrity is transferred to the
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People around us.
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It may be your personal decision but it's going to impact some
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Other persons, it may be your personal decision but it impacts
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The people or the persons around you and the people around me.
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It's personal but it's never ever private.
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Thus our title, "your integrity, our world," "my integrity, our
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World," "my integrity, my family," "your integrity, your
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Family, your world."
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And here's the anchor verse, we talked about this last time,
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Here's what it said, "the integrity of the upright."
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The integrity of the upright, there is a connection between
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Integrity and the posture of our lives, because people who are
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Standing upright and sitting upright, they're taking the long
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Look not the short view.
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"the integrity of the upright will guide them," which is, we
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Said last time, means that people of integrity, the reason
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They maintain their integrity is because it is a decision-making
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Filter for them.
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They've decided, "you know what?
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I'm gonna do what i ought to do regardless of what it costs me.
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This is how i make decisions: what's the right thing to do?
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What's the virtuous thing to do?
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What's the noble thing to do?"
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If you're a christian, "what is it that god wants me to do?
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I'm gonna do what i ought to do regardless of the consequences."
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And people of integrity to take the long look, "but the
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Crookedness," or the bent-ness as we talked about last time,
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"of the treacherous will," eventually catch up with them,
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"will eventually destroy them."
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The people who maintain their integrity are guided by it, it
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Is their primary decision-making filter.
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So, in an effort to make this memorable and a little bit more
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Portable, i want to give you my personal definition for
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Integrity because it's short and it's memorable and it's
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Portable, and here's what it is, and it's maybe even simplistic,
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But i like it.
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But integrity is just doing what you ought to do even if it costs
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You, that's it.
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It's doing what you ought to do even if it costs you.
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Just, look, you know what to do, just do what you ought to do.
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Why is this so hard?
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Well it's difficult in part because of your appetites,
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Our appetites.
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Our appetites actually pose a constant, every day before this
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Day is out, our appetites pose a constant threat to
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Our integrity.
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Just about every day, just about every day we have to say no to
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One to protect or satisfy the other.
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In other words, we have to say no to an appetite sometimes to
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Protect our integrity or we say no to our integrity in order to
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Satisfy an appetite.
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This is a constant tension, we live with it every single day at
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Multiple levels.
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Now, when you think about the term appetite, generally one or
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Two things come to mind, the first one is food and the second
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One is, you wanna say it, sex.
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That's right, food, sex, alright, but we have
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Many-many-many appetites.
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Here's just a general list to kinda get us in the discussion.
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We have an appetite for: acceptance, intimacy, inclusion,
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Respect, recognition, fame, progress, that's a big deal to
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Me, to be envied.
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Some of you, you'd never admit it but you know what?
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Your appetite is you just want to be envied, you want to live
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An enviable lifestyle.
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You know, how do i get there?
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How do i get there quick?
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Stuff, more stuff and new stuff, right?
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We all have an appetite for stuff, more stuff, new stuff,
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Responsibility, achievement, winning, right?
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And most of these appetites, and are more, these are all
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Reasonable, these are all acceptable, every single one of
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These at some level poses a threat to our integrity.
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Now, before we talk more about that, i want to make three quick
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Comments about appetites in general and this is going to
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Help us understand a broader context of where we're going in
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The next few minutes.
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Real quick, theists, or people who believe in god, we believe
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That when it comes to appetites that god created them and sin
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Distorted them; that's what theists believes.
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Everybody believes number two, everybody believes, number two,
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That appetites are never fully and finally satisfied, right?
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In fact, appetites just have a one-word vocabulary.
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Does anybody know what the one-word vocabulary of an
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Appetite is?
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More, that's right, thank you, it's more, which obviously fuels
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Our discontentment.
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We see people who live better, drive better, marry better,
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Better educated, have better opportunities and we think to
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Ourselves, "well gosh, if i had that or if i accomplish that or
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If i accumulated that or if i had gone to that school or if i
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Dated that or if i, you know, i would be content."
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But of course, we all know there are people in different parts of
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The world that would look at any one of our lifestyles and go,
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"wow, if i could just be them, i'd be content."
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In fact, if they could just be you 10 years ago, 20 years ago,
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Because it's never, it's just a rat race, we know that.
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Our appetites really are what bait the comparison trap, and we
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Know there's no win in comparison, it's just a rabbit
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Hole that you'd go down and then there's just no bottom to it.
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And the last thing, the third thing about appetites is this,
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Appetites always whisper, "now," they never whisper, "later."
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Right?
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An appetite never says, "let's just wait till tomorrow."
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That's not your appetite talking, right?
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That's something else.
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Appetites are not a fan of delayed gratification, they're
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Not a fan of delayed gratification, they tempt us to
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Opt for immediate over ultimate, they tempt us to opt for now
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Over later.
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Again, our appetites, this isn't a christian thing or a religious
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Thing, this is just a human being thing.
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Right?
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Our appetites pose a constant threat to our integrity.
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Just one quick illustration: do you, and many of us do, have an
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Appetite for achievement and advancement?
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I mean, i know i do, i want to achieve things and i want to
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Advance, i love progress.
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Right?
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But your integrity or our integrity, my integrity, your
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Integrity could become an obstacle, maintaining your
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Integrity could become an obstacle to achieving things as
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Fast as you want to achieve them.
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Your integrity could become an obstacle to advancing as quickly
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As you want to advance, doing the right thing may actually
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Slow things down.
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Because, as many of us have learned the hard way, oftentimes
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The most direct route, the most direct route isn't always the
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Most ethical route.
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The quickest route to what we want, to what our appetites get
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Stirred up within us, the quickest route oftentimes isn't
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The route that allows us to maintain our integrity.
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And when you face that tension and experienced that tension,
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Which we all do sometimes, every single day at some level, in
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That moment we have a decision to make: will my integrity guide
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Me or will my appetite guide me?
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Now, c'mon, the reason that you lie sometimes, and i know you
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Do, sometimes you don't tell the whole truth and you cover and
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You kind of get tell half the story, and you know, sometimes
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The reason that you fudge, you know, the reason that you do
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That, it's not because you think those things are good or
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Honorable or noble, the reason that we tell half-truths or
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Don't disclose everything is because, well, it's a means to
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An end, it's a way to satisfy an appetite.
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To tell the whole truth means i don't get what i want, to fully
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Disclose what's going on means that this is gonna take a lot
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Longer or it may never happen at all.
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I mean, if i told you my whole story you may not call me again,
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If you knew everything, if i hadn't sort of, you know, carved
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Off some of the rough edges then i don't know that we would even
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Have a relationship.
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So, from time to time, maintaining our to integrity is
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Gonna mean we have to say no to an appetite.
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Now, there's a familiar, pretty familiar old testament story
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That i want to walk you through today because i think, better
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Than any other story i've known, old testament, new testament,
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Any testament, i mean, i just think this is the most fabulous
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Story that not only illustrates this tension, but more important
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Than illustrating the tension, it gives us a word picture.
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And when, years and years ago, i connected the dots between this
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Tension that we all live with and this story, it just gives me
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A word picture that my mind just goes to immediately.
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And i hope as a result of our few minutes today it'll be a
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Word picture that sits front and center in your life, maybe for
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The rest of your life, and maybe it's the word picture that keeps
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You from making a decision based on now that you pay for later.
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Happens about 1800 b.c., it's a story of two brothers, an older
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Brother and a younger brother.
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The older brother was a hunter and a warrior and a doer, the
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Younger brother was a thinker and a schemer and a really
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Good cook.
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Does anyone know who i'm talking about, anyone?
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Yes, esau and jacob.
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Now, when you hear this you generally hear it, if you grew
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Up in church, as jacob and esau, but normally you say the older
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Before the younger, but because of this story, forever and ever
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They would be known as jacob and esau, rather than esau
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And jacob.
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These two guys were abraham's grandsons and, as the older
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Brother, esau would automatically inherit something
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That's very strange to us that they referred to as
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A birthright.
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In other words, he had certain rights that came to him because
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Of his birth order.
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There's no modern equivalent to this in our modern society and
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We would push back on it if there were because here's how
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It works.
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If you were the firstborn son you had special privileges, not
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Because you were talented, not because you were disciplined,
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Just because you were born first.
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For example, you got a double inheritance which, if there's
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Only two kids, that's one thing, but back then, everybody had
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About eight or nine wives and 100 children so if you got a
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Double inheritance that was a really big deal.
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Maybe the best thing of all, if you were the firstborn son, you
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Got what was referred to as judicial authority, which meant
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If there was a dispute among family members you got
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To decide.
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Now, that might be worth bringing back, just
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Saying, okay?
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In other words, if there was a family squabble, and back then,
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I mean, when there was a family squabble, basically blood was
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Shed, it was like a really big deal.
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But if you're the firstborn son, you could sit down with the
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Extended family and say, "i've heard all the evidence, here's
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What we're gonna do," and your word was law.
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So that was a big deal, and also you got a father's special
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Blessing which in that culture was the equivalent of
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God's blessing.
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So that's kind of the context for what happened, so here's
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The story.
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"the boys," the two boys, "grew up, and esau became a skillful
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Hunter, a man of the open country, while jacob was content
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To stay at home among the tents."
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Now, if your mind goes in a direction, the next verse
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Confirms what you were thinking.
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"their father isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved esau,
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But rebekah," their mother, "loved jacob."
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This was part of the problem.
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The story continues,
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"once when jacob was cooking some stew,"
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Because he hung around at the tent and cooked, he was
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Cooking some stew, "esau came in from the open country,"
00:12:03.407 --> 00:12:05.709
And he was, "famished."
00:12:05.709 --> 00:12:07.945
Literally, this little hebrew word means he was weary,
00:12:07.945 --> 00:12:10.648
He was faint, we would say, "he was hangry."
00:12:10.648 --> 00:12:14.351
Hangry, you ever been hangry, like you don't know
00:12:14.351 --> 00:12:16.220
If you're more angry or hungry?
00:12:16.220 --> 00:12:17.555
Okay, so he comes in and he's completely famished, his
00:12:17.555 --> 00:12:20.424
Appetite is engaged.
00:12:20.424 --> 00:12:22.026
I mean, this is pretty much a set up, his appetite's engage,
00:12:22.026 --> 00:12:25.763
His defenses are down and his senses are heightened by
00:12:25.763 --> 00:12:30.267
The smell of this stew.
00:12:30.267 --> 00:12:32.536
Esau is basically at this point a sitting duck.
00:12:32.536 --> 00:12:35.339
"and he said to jacob," his younger brother, "quick."
00:12:35.339 --> 00:12:39.577
"quick, quick," that is an appetite talking, isn't it?
00:12:39.577 --> 00:12:46.684
Quick, i gotta have it now.
00:12:46.684 --> 00:12:48.719
Quick-quick, right now, quick-quick.
00:12:48.719 --> 00:12:51.121
Whenever you're in quick mode tap the breaks.
00:12:51.121 --> 00:12:55.292
"quick," he says, "let me have some of that red stew!
00:12:55.292 --> 00:12:58.896
I'm famished!"
00:12:58.896 --> 00:13:01.265
Now, this situation, this dynamic rarely happens in the
00:13:01.265 --> 00:13:05.769
Real world, and by dynamic i mean this, rarely does it happen
00:13:05.769 --> 00:13:10.274
That the younger, weaker brother has leverage over the older,
00:13:10.274 --> 00:13:15.045
Stronger brother.
00:13:15.045 --> 00:13:16.680
If you are a younger brother you remember those days, it almost
00:13:16.680 --> 00:13:20.751
Never ever happened, but when, every once in a while, the
00:13:20.751 --> 00:13:24.788
Younger, weaker brother has leverage over the older,
00:13:24.788 --> 00:13:27.558
Stronger brother, shrewd, thoughtful younger brothers just
00:13:27.558 --> 00:13:32.062
Bask in the opportunity.
00:13:32.062 --> 00:13:34.131
Oh, my goodness, he needs something from me, he needs me.
00:13:34.131 --> 00:13:39.270
This is such a big deal.
00:13:39.270 --> 00:13:40.638
And so shrewd younger brothers, you know what they do?
00:13:40.638 --> 00:13:42.640
They look for a way to leverage this very rare opportunity that
00:13:42.640 --> 00:13:46.277
Rarely comes along.
00:13:46.277 --> 00:13:47.745
Right?
00:13:47.745 --> 00:13:49.079
I mean, you know in our world it sounds like this, "so, you don't
00:13:49.079 --> 00:13:51.615
Want mom to know what time you came in last night?
00:13:51.615 --> 00:13:54.251
You don't want her to know?
00:13:54.251 --> 00:13:56.120
You don't?
00:13:56.120 --> 00:13:57.621
So what's that worth?
00:13:57.621 --> 00:13:59.223
What's it worth to you that mom never finds out what time you
00:13:59.223 --> 00:14:03.360
Came in?"
00:14:03.360 --> 00:14:04.728
Right?
00:14:04.728 --> 00:14:06.063
And then the shrewd younger brother, if they're shrewd they
00:14:06.063 --> 00:14:07.398
Do this, they start at the top, "what is the most i could
00:14:07.398 --> 00:14:10.134
Possibly get out of this?"
00:14:10.134 --> 00:14:11.735
And then you kinda work your way down and you find something, you
00:14:11.735 --> 00:14:14.104
Know, to trade.
00:14:14.104 --> 00:14:15.472
Now, in our family it went like this, garrett is our shrewd
00:14:15.472 --> 00:14:17.808
Younger brother, andrew is the older brother in our family,
00:14:17.808 --> 00:14:20.411
They're 20 months apart.
00:14:20.411 --> 00:14:21.745
And when garrett rarely had the power, had the leverage over
00:14:21.745 --> 00:14:25.849
Andrew, he would totally play this game and it always started
00:14:25.849 --> 00:14:28.619
Here, "so, can i drive your car?"
00:14:28.619 --> 00:14:30.521
It always started there, "can i drive your car?"
00:14:30.521 --> 00:14:32.456
And andrew's like, "you're 14.
00:14:32.456 --> 00:14:33.891
No, you can't drive my car."
00:14:33.891 --> 00:14:35.359
But then, again, you worked your way down til you finally find
00:14:35.359 --> 00:14:37.728
Something that you can trade.
00:14:37.728 --> 00:14:39.463
So jacob is a thinker, he's shrewd and he sees this
00:14:39.463 --> 00:14:43.033
Opportunity and he seizes on this opportunity, and jacob is
00:14:43.033 --> 00:14:47.371
Like, "you know, go big or go home."
00:14:47.371 --> 00:14:51.675
So "jacob replied, 'first,'" "first sell me your birthright."
00:14:51.675 --> 00:14:59.049
Yeah, exactly, that's exactly how, that is the
00:14:59.049 --> 00:15:01.251
Correct response.
00:15:01.251 --> 00:15:02.586
Oh yeah, i'm sure, right, yeah, what else you got?
00:15:02.586 --> 00:15:04.421
So wait-wait, you want me to trade my birthright for a bowl
00:15:04.421 --> 00:15:08.192
Of stew?
00:15:08.192 --> 00:15:09.560
I mean, the birthright's his whole future, who in their right
00:15:09.560 --> 00:15:12.062
Mind would trade their future for a bowl of stew?
00:15:12.062 --> 00:15:18.836
Not even for a lifetime of stew, a lifetime supply of stew you
00:15:18.836 --> 00:15:23.607
Wouldn't trade your future, your birthright.
00:15:23.607 --> 00:15:27.044
Who in their right mind would trade their future for a bowl
00:15:27.044 --> 00:15:30.547
Of stew?
00:15:30.547 --> 00:15:32.883
Who would trade their integrity for a bowl of stew?
00:15:32.883 --> 00:15:37.621
Who would trade their self-respect for a bowl of stew?
00:15:37.621 --> 00:15:41.392
Who would trade their relationship with their kids or
00:15:41.392 --> 00:15:43.360
Their future kids for a bowl of stew?
00:15:43.360 --> 00:15:46.296
Who would trade a valuable-valuable relationship
00:15:46.296 --> 00:15:49.133
That you hope to go the distance with for a bowl of stew?
00:15:49.133 --> 00:15:53.837
Who would trade their reputation, their profession,
00:15:53.837 --> 00:15:59.009
Their opportunity, the future for a bowl of stew?
00:15:59.009 --> 00:16:03.147
The answer is nobody, the answer is potentially everybody.
00:16:03.147 --> 00:16:08.919
Now, when you hear it within the context of this story you just
00:16:08.919 --> 00:16:11.889
Laugh like, "i'm so sure i'm going to trade the birthright
00:16:11.889 --> 00:16:15.292
For a bowl of stew," but when it's you and it's right there in
00:16:15.292 --> 00:16:20.497
Front of you it's amazing the bad trades were willing to make.
00:16:20.497 --> 00:16:26.270
It's amazing some of the bad trade some of us have
00:16:26.270 --> 00:16:30.007
Made, right?
00:16:30.007 --> 00:16:31.341
We've seen it, we've done it.
00:16:31.341 --> 00:16:33.710
The story is so helpful because it almost gets into the
00:16:33.710 --> 00:16:36.847
Psychology behind how this works and how it works in us.
00:16:36.847 --> 00:16:40.050
Listen what happens next.
00:16:40.050 --> 00:16:41.385
"look," esau says, "look, i'm about to die."
00:16:41.385 --> 00:16:45.255
Okay, hey, he just walked in, huh?
00:16:45.255 --> 00:16:47.925
You just walked into camp, you just walked into the tent,
00:16:47.925 --> 00:16:49.860
You're not about to.
00:16:49.860 --> 00:16:51.195
"i'm about to die."
00:16:51.195 --> 00:16:52.629
What's he doing?
00:16:52.629 --> 00:16:53.964
He's doing what we all do, he's building his case.
00:16:53.964 --> 00:16:55.299
This is a big deal, this isn't just a bowl of stew, this is
00:16:55.299 --> 00:16:57.434
Life or death.
00:16:57.434 --> 00:16:58.802
Jacob's like, "really?
00:16:58.802 --> 00:17:02.106
So what are you willing to trade?"
00:17:02.106 --> 00:17:03.440
Right?
00:17:03.440 --> 00:17:04.775
Building his case, creating a narrative.
00:17:04.775 --> 00:17:06.610
You know what he's doing?
00:17:06.610 --> 00:17:07.978
He's doing what we do, he's justifying, justifying, he's
00:17:07.978 --> 00:17:10.747
Just-a-lying, he's just-a-lying to himself.
00:17:10.747 --> 00:17:14.251
And listen to what he says next, this is so reflected in things
00:17:14.251 --> 00:17:16.954
We think and say.
00:17:16.954 --> 00:17:18.322
"what good," "what good is the birthright to me?"
00:17:18.322 --> 00:17:22.626
Well, it's not that big a deal, and you know, i've heard
00:17:22.626 --> 00:17:25.629
About it but what good is a birthright to me?
00:17:25.629 --> 00:17:26.964
And i'm going to add two words to the text because
00:17:26.964 --> 00:17:29.500
This helps us focus on what's really going on.
00:17:29.500 --> 00:17:31.401
"what good is the birthright to me right now?"
00:17:31.401 --> 00:17:35.506
The answer is, jacob's like, "it's not worth anything
00:17:35.506 --> 00:17:38.909
To you right now, it's not worth anything to you
00:17:38.909 --> 00:17:41.645
'til our father dies, that's later, that's later."
00:17:41.645 --> 00:17:46.817
The integrity of the upright, the integrity of the people
00:17:46.817 --> 00:17:52.189
Who take the long look, the long view, the integrity of
00:17:52.189 --> 00:17:54.791
The upright will guide them, later is longer.
00:17:54.791 --> 00:18:01.632
The upright see right, those that are bent and focused on
00:18:01.632 --> 00:18:06.470
Now, they just don't see well.
00:18:06.470 --> 00:18:09.873
The upright are focused on later and they remember, "later is
00:18:09.873 --> 00:18:12.576
Longer, later is longer, later is longer."
00:18:12.576 --> 00:18:15.445
Esau is looking at right now.
00:18:15.445 --> 00:18:18.982
Let me tell you something about now, okay?
00:18:18.982 --> 00:18:21.051
Now is now, and now, now is gone.
00:18:21.051 --> 00:18:26.523
Lemme go over that again because this might be the deepest part
00:18:26.523 --> 00:18:28.358
Of the sermon, okay?
00:18:28.358 --> 00:18:29.893
Now is now, and now, that now, it's gone.
00:18:29.893 --> 00:18:36.633
Jacob knows that esau has the power so he's careful, he says,
00:18:36.633 --> 00:18:39.636
"okay first-first, first you gotta swear to me first,"
00:18:39.636 --> 00:18:42.673
"swear to me first."
00:18:42.673 --> 00:18:44.007
So esau swears an oath, an oath was a big deal in those
00:18:44.007 --> 00:18:48.178
Days, "he swore an oath," and he sold or traded,
00:18:48.178 --> 00:18:52.249
"his birthright to jacob."
00:18:52.249 --> 00:18:56.520
And you're standing on the outside of this going, "this is
00:18:56.520 --> 00:18:58.622
Ridiculous, this is insane."
00:18:58.622 --> 00:19:02.626
I bet once upon a time in probably all of our lives, a
00:19:02.626 --> 00:19:07.097
Mom, a dad, a grandparent, a best friend stood over us while
00:19:07.097 --> 00:19:10.834
We made a decision and thought to themselves or maybe even said
00:19:10.834 --> 00:19:13.170
This, "are you kidding?
00:19:13.170 --> 00:19:14.504
Wait-wait-wait, have you thought this through?"
00:19:14.504 --> 00:19:15.872
Oh yeah, i don't care.
00:19:15.872 --> 00:19:17.774
"then jacob gave esau some bread," not just stew, he's
00:19:17.774 --> 00:19:21.378
Like, "okay, we'll pile it on, it's a big-big deal."
00:19:21.378 --> 00:19:23.981
"some bread and some lentil stew."
00:19:23.981 --> 00:19:25.882
And esau, "ate and drank, he got up and left."
00:19:25.882 --> 00:19:29.686
And the stew was gone and so is his birthright,
00:19:29.686 --> 00:19:34.491
So was his future.
00:19:34.491 --> 00:19:36.627
He traded his future for a bowl of stew, who would do that?
00:19:36.627 --> 00:19:46.403
What would cause someone to do that?
00:19:46.403 --> 00:19:50.707
An appetite, an appetite that's so engaged and so inflamed and
00:19:50.707 --> 00:19:55.012
So enraged it's all we can see.
00:19:55.012 --> 00:19:58.181
And here's how the narrative ends.
00:19:58.181 --> 00:19:59.549
Again, it's so instructive to all of us, here's how it ends.
00:19:59.549 --> 00:20:02.786
"so esau despised his birthright."
00:20:02.786 --> 00:20:06.523
This is so important, okay?
00:20:06.523 --> 00:20:08.158
Here's what this means, esau decided it's not that big of
00:20:08.158 --> 00:20:13.230
A deal, esau decided, "i don't care."
00:20:13.230 --> 00:20:17.134
If you'd have walked up to esau after he set the bowl back down,
00:20:17.134 --> 00:20:19.536
He's walking off, he's like, "ah, it's not a big deal,
00:20:19.536 --> 00:20:21.905
I don't care."
00:20:21.905 --> 00:20:23.240
This is exactly what we do, we decide we don't care when
00:20:23.240 --> 00:20:27.444
It's too late to care.
00:20:27.444 --> 00:20:30.047
We decide it really wasn't all that valuable after the fact
00:20:30.047 --> 00:20:34.184
When we've discounted the value through what we've done and now
00:20:34.184 --> 00:20:37.120
There's nothing we can do.
00:20:37.120 --> 00:20:38.455
And so we decide, just to defend ourselves and to justify what
00:20:38.455 --> 00:20:40.791
We've done, we've decide it wasn't that big a deal.
00:20:40.791 --> 00:20:42.626
I know what my mom told me, i know my dad told me, i know what
00:20:42.626 --> 00:20:44.761
My employer told me, i know what i've always heard.
00:20:44.761 --> 00:20:46.096
I went to church, i've heard all that, but you know, it's just
00:20:46.096 --> 00:20:48.231
Not that big of deal.
00:20:48.231 --> 00:20:51.702
And so we create a narrative, the narrative is it wasn't that
00:20:51.702 --> 00:20:54.271
Big a deal, wasn't that great of a loss, and that we believe
00:20:54.271 --> 00:20:56.406
Our own narrative.
00:20:56.406 --> 00:20:58.342
I mean, what else could i have done?
00:20:58.342 --> 00:21:01.111
I was dying.
00:21:01.111 --> 00:21:03.413
Well, what else could i have done?
00:21:03.413 --> 00:21:04.748
I would've lost my job.
00:21:04.748 --> 00:21:06.116
What else could i have done?
00:21:06.116 --> 00:21:07.451
She would have never gone out with me again.
00:21:07.451 --> 00:21:08.852
What else could i have done?
00:21:08.852 --> 00:21:10.187
If i had told him my whole story that would be the end of
00:21:10.187 --> 00:21:12.055
The relationship.
00:21:12.055 --> 00:21:13.390
Are you kidding? what else could i have done?
00:21:13.390 --> 00:21:15.759
He would have moved out and that would've been the end.
00:21:15.759 --> 00:21:17.227
What else could i have done?
00:21:17.227 --> 00:21:18.562
What else could i have done? i didn't have any choice.
00:21:18.562 --> 00:21:21.164
And then we believe the story that we manufacture to justify
00:21:21.164 --> 00:21:23.367
What we've done because we've decided it's not that big a deal
00:21:23.367 --> 00:21:25.102
And i don't really care, i didn't really have any choice.
00:21:25.102 --> 00:21:29.606
And then we hang onto our excuses and we hang on to our
00:21:29.606 --> 00:21:33.110
Justification and then very few people ever face up to any of
00:21:33.110 --> 00:21:38.482
That stuff.
00:21:38.482 --> 00:21:40.584
And this is the hard part, and then we are never truly
00:21:40.584 --> 00:21:45.622
Ourselves and we kind of live with a limp.
00:21:45.622 --> 00:21:49.693
And the healthy people around us know something's up and every
00:21:49.693 --> 00:21:54.030
Once in a while somebody tries to bring it up and you shut
00:21:54.030 --> 00:21:57.033
Them down.
00:21:57.033 --> 00:21:58.535
And if they ever got to kinda the root or the incident or the
00:21:58.535 --> 00:22:00.837
Event, it's like, "that wasn't a big deal, i don't care, it
00:22:00.837 --> 00:22:02.606
Doesn't matter," and you live life with an unnecessary limp.
00:22:02.606 --> 00:22:09.513
And we're never ever truly ourselves because-because you
00:22:09.513 --> 00:22:15.085
Can't be yourself as long as you are lying to yourself.
00:22:15.085 --> 00:22:19.523
Maybe worse, no one can know yourself as long as you're
00:22:19.523 --> 00:22:23.260
Fooling, as long as you're lying to yourself.
00:22:23.260 --> 00:22:24.895
And maybe worst of all, long term, you can't give your entire
00:22:24.895 --> 00:22:30.667
Self to anyone as long as you're lying to yourself.
00:22:30.667 --> 00:22:36.973
And if you know how this story plays out, jacob's, you know,
00:22:36.973 --> 00:22:41.711
Bargaining powers and his deceit and esau's short-sightedness set
00:22:41.711 --> 00:22:47.217
In motion a series of events that would rip this family apart
00:22:47.217 --> 00:22:51.288
For decades.
00:22:51.288 --> 00:22:52.656
It wasn't just about the two brothers anymore, it was about
00:22:52.656 --> 00:22:55.225
Everyone related to them for a couple of generations.
00:22:55.225 --> 00:23:02.265
So, before this day's out probably, your appetite, my
00:23:02.265 --> 00:23:05.535
Appetite, our appetites they will compete with our integrity,
00:23:05.535 --> 00:23:12.275
We will be forced to say no to one either to satisfy the other
00:23:12.275 --> 00:23:15.812
Or to maintain the other.
00:23:15.812 --> 00:23:18.348
As concerning, our appetites compete for our future, we
00:23:18.348 --> 00:23:24.187
Either rule them or they rule us, we rule them or they
00:23:24.187 --> 00:23:26.590
Ruin us.
00:23:26.590 --> 00:23:28.592
And at some level we will all be tempted to trade our future for
00:23:28.592 --> 00:23:34.731
What amounts to a bowl of stew.
00:23:34.731 --> 00:23:37.968
In the moment, it doesn't look like a bowl of stew, but a year
00:23:37.968 --> 00:23:41.805
Later, three years later, five years later, you look back and
00:23:41.805 --> 00:23:45.375
You're like, "you know what?
00:23:45.375 --> 00:23:46.843
It's gone.
00:23:46.843 --> 00:23:48.178
What i got in the trade is gone."
00:23:48.178 --> 00:23:50.780
The relationship i thought was worth sacrificing my integrity
00:23:50.780 --> 00:23:53.583
For, they're not even in my life anymore.
00:23:53.583 --> 00:23:58.121
So here's where i wanna land today: what is your bowl
00:23:58.121 --> 00:24:05.695
Of stew?
00:24:05.695 --> 00:24:08.932
Not in the past, right now, what is competing right now with
00:24:08.932 --> 00:24:13.303
Your integrity?
00:24:13.303 --> 00:24:16.273
What's competing for your preferred future?
00:24:16.273 --> 00:24:20.443
You know what i mean by a preferred future?
00:24:20.443 --> 00:24:21.945
Preferred future is if i were to say to you, hey, what do you
00:24:21.945 --> 00:24:23.813
See, where do you see yourself in five years, 10 years?
00:24:23.813 --> 00:24:25.882
Where do you see yourself relationally,
00:24:25.882 --> 00:24:27.250
Financially, spiritually?
00:24:27.250 --> 00:24:28.919
Tell me about how you want the future to look like?
00:24:28.919 --> 00:24:31.488
What's competing for that picture?
00:24:31.488 --> 00:24:33.823
You may have written it down, you may be a goals person or you
00:24:33.823 --> 00:24:35.692
May have a general idea of where you're going, what do you want
00:24:35.692 --> 00:24:37.827
It to look like.
00:24:37.827 --> 00:24:39.195
What's competing right now for your future?
00:24:39.195 --> 00:24:43.633
Lemme ask a different way, what or who is difficult to say no to
00:24:43.633 --> 00:24:49.839
That you know you ought to say no to?
00:24:49.839 --> 00:24:54.311
What are you talking yourself into that the people who love
00:24:54.311 --> 00:24:57.914
You the most would try to talk you out of if they knew you were
00:24:57.914 --> 00:25:01.818
Trying to talk yourself into it?
00:25:01.818 --> 00:25:03.853
Or maybe it's more overt than that, maybe they know what
00:25:03.853 --> 00:25:06.923
You're talking yourself into and they are currently trying to
00:25:06.923 --> 00:25:09.726
Talk you out of it.
00:25:09.726 --> 00:25:12.262
And here's the whisper of the appetite, it's not that big a
00:25:12.262 --> 00:25:16.032
Deal, it doesn't matter, it's not that big a deal, it doesn't
00:25:16.032 --> 00:25:18.802
Matter, it's not that big a deal, it doesn't matter.
00:25:18.802 --> 00:25:23.873
What are you doing that's not exactly illegal, not exactly
00:25:23.873 --> 00:25:26.843
Immoral but you don't want anybody to know about it?
00:25:26.843 --> 00:25:29.479
What are you doing that's not exactly illegal, it's
00:25:29.479 --> 00:25:31.781
Immoral-ish, you know, it's kind of on the line but you certainly
00:25:31.781 --> 00:25:35.619
Wouldn't want to have to explain it to anybody?
00:25:35.619 --> 00:25:39.923
Here's what we all have in common with esau, we have no
00:25:39.923 --> 00:25:45.395
Idea, we have no idea what or who hangs in the balance of our
00:25:45.395 --> 00:25:51.635
Decision of whether or not we choose to trade our future for
00:25:51.635 --> 00:25:55.705
Something that's here and now and now and now and now, and now
00:25:55.705 --> 00:25:58.675
It's gone.
00:25:58.675 --> 00:26:00.143
We have no idea, you have no idea.
00:26:00.143 --> 00:26:02.012
See, you think you do, i think i do, but the reason esau wasn't
00:26:02.012 --> 00:26:05.382
Concerned is because when he thought about what he was giving
00:26:05.382 --> 00:26:07.651
Up everything was just right there in front of him.
00:26:07.651 --> 00:26:11.221
Jacob knew better, everybody who hears this story knows better.
00:26:11.221 --> 00:26:15.125
When people tell the story, we just laugh, "who would do that?"
00:26:15.125 --> 00:26:18.428
I could do that, you could do that.
00:26:18.428 --> 00:26:21.965
And perhaps you're listening to this message going, "i wish i'd
00:26:21.965 --> 00:26:24.934
Heard this three months ago, three years ago, 10 years ago,
00:26:24.934 --> 00:26:29.205
Because i've done that."
00:26:29.205 --> 00:26:30.740
So here's the challenge, would you be willing to stand up
00:26:30.740 --> 00:26:34.644
Straight, sit up straight and decide once and for all now that
00:26:34.644 --> 00:26:40.684
You know what's at stake, i will not, i will not trade what i
00:26:40.684 --> 00:26:44.621
Value most for something i have an appetite for now?
00:26:44.621 --> 00:26:48.058
I am not gonna trade what i value most, my preferred future,
00:26:48.058 --> 00:26:51.528
I'm not gonna trade what i value most, what i know god has for me
00:26:51.528 --> 00:26:56.266
In the future, i'm not gonna trade what i value most for
00:26:56.266 --> 00:26:57.901
Something that's just an appetite that i have right now.
00:26:57.901 --> 00:27:04.307
And then would you just do what you ought to do even if it
00:27:04.307 --> 00:27:08.278
Costs you?
00:27:08.278 --> 00:27:09.946
You'll be glad you did.
00:27:09.946 --> 00:27:11.781
The people who love you most will be glad you did, the people
00:27:11.781 --> 00:27:14.384
Who depend on you will be glad you did, and the people you love
00:27:14.384 --> 00:27:17.520
Most will be glad you did as well.
00:27:17.520 --> 00:27:21.057
So, what's your bowl of stew?
00:27:21.057 --> 00:27:25.061
Don't trade your future, don't trade your story, don't trade
00:27:25.061 --> 00:27:31.067
Your legacy, don't trade your future relationships for a bowl
00:27:31.067 --> 00:27:36.806
Of stew, just do what you know you gotta do.
00:27:36.806 --> 00:27:42.679
Andy: hey everybody, thank you so much for tuning in.
00:27:43.880 --> 00:27:45.915
If you'd like to watch this episode again or share it with a
00:27:45.915 --> 00:27:48.752
Friend, head on over to the website at the bottom of
00:27:48.752 --> 00:27:50.854
The screen.
00:27:50.854 --> 00:27:52.222
The website is the best place for you to find other "your
00:27:52.222 --> 00:27:54.824
Move" episodes, access additional resources, and learn
00:27:54.824 --> 00:27:57.594
More about our mission to engage culture with the teaching of
00:27:57.594 --> 00:28:00.897
Jesus because we're convinced following jesus will make your
00:28:00.897 --> 00:28:03.867
Life better and make the world a better place,
00:28:03.867 --> 00:28:06.703
And now it's your move.
00:28:06.703 --> 00:28:08.738
♪♪♪
00:28:09.139 --> 00:28:21.651
...
00:28:24.888 --> 00:28:24.888

Andy Stanley - Your Integrity, Our World (Part 3)

February 21, 2026 | 28:29

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