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Better Together LIVE | Episode 144

November 12, 2020

26:09

Do friendships change when our relationship status changes? Married or single; we were created to live in community. | TBN Prayer Line: 714-731-1000

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Better Together LIVE | Episode 144

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- LAURIE CROUCH: IF YOU ARE
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- LAURIE CROUCH: IF YOU ARESINGLE OR HAVE SINGLE FRIENDS,
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SINGLE OR HAVE SINGLE FRIENDS,THIS CONVERSATION IS FOR YOU.
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THIS CONVERSATION IS FOR YOU.WE WERE CREATED TO LIVE IN
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WE WERE CREATED TO LIVE INCOMMUNITY AND TO LEARN FROM
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COMMUNITY AND TO LEARN FROMEACH OTHER.
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EACH OTHER.TODAY, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HOW
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TODAY, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HOWTO NAVIGATE FRIENDSHIP AS LIFE
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TO NAVIGATE FRIENDSHIP AS LIFECHANGES.
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CHANGES.COME ON -- JOIN US.
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COME ON -- JOIN US.[MUSIC WITH VOCALIZING]
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[MUSIC WITH VOCALIZING][MUSIC]
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[MUSIC][MUSIC]
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[MUSIC][OUTRO MUSIC]
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[OUTRO MUSIC]- MANDISA: YOU KNOW,
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- MANDISA: YOU KNOW,THE LAST TIME THAT I WAS ON
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THE LAST TIME THAT I WAS ON"BETTER TOGETHER," WE WERE
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"BETTER TOGETHER," WE WERETALKING ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH.
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TALKING ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH.AND...UM, I JUST REMEMBER BEING
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AND...UM, I JUST REMEMBER BEINGIN A REALLY DIFFICULT SEASON,
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IN A REALLY DIFFICULT SEASON,WHILE I WAS THERE.
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WHILE I WAS THERE.I WAS ACTUALLY THERE WITH MY
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I WAS ACTUALLY THERE WITH MYFRIEND NATALIE GRANT; AND MY
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FRIEND NATALIE GRANT; AND MYPASTOR, ALEX SEELEY; AND THEN,
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PASTOR, ALEX SEELEY; AND THEN,JAMIE GRACE, WHO IS A GREAT
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JAMIE GRACE, WHO IS A GREATFRIEND OF YOURS, MELINDA.
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FRIEND OF YOURS, MELINDA.UM, AND I JUST REMEMBERED
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UM, AND I JUST REMEMBEREDFEELING SO DARK.
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FEELING SO DARK.BECAUSE, HERE I AM, TALKING
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BECAUSE, HERE I AM, TALKINGABOUT DEPRESSION, FEELING
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ABOUT DEPRESSION, FEELINGDEPRESSED.
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DEPRESSED.AND, WHEN I THINK ABOUT SOME OF
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AND, WHEN I THINK ABOUT SOME OFTHE CHANGES THAT I MADE AFTER
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THE CHANGES THAT I MADE AFTERTHAT CONVERSATION, ONE OF THE
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THAT CONVERSATION, ONE OF THECHANGES THAT I MADE IS
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CHANGES THAT I MADE ISTHAT I MOVED.
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THAT I MOVED.I USED TO LIVE RIGHT OUTSIDE OF
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I USED TO LIVE RIGHT OUTSIDE OFNASHVILLE, WHERE I WAS PRETTY
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NASHVILLE, WHERE I WAS PRETTYMUCH BY MYSELF.
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MUCH BY MYSELF.AND, AS A SUPER-DUPER-SINGLE
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AND, AS A SUPER-DUPER-SINGLEWOMAN AND SOMEBODY WHO BATTLES
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WOMAN AND SOMEBODY WHO BATTLESWITH DEPRESSION, I KNOW THAT,
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WITH DEPRESSION, I KNOW THAT,FOR ME, SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME
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FOR ME, SPENDING TOO MUCH TIMEBY MYSELF IS A TRIGGER.
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BY MYSELF IS A TRIGGER.AND, AS SOMEBODY WHO IS-- I
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AND, AS SOMEBODY WHO IS-- ICALL MYSELF AMBIVERT.
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CALL MYSELF AMBIVERT.THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I'M AN
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THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I'M ANINTROVERT AND I NEED SOME TIME,
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INTROVERT AND I NEED SOME TIME,ALONE.
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ALONE.[LAUGHTER]
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[LAUGHTER]AND THEN, THERE ARE SOME TIMES
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AND THEN, THERE ARE SOME TIMESWHERE I HAVE GOT TO BE WITH
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WHERE I HAVE GOT TO BE WITHPEOPLE.
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PEOPLE.AND SO, FINDING THE BALANCE OF
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AND SO, FINDING THE BALANCE OFTHAT -- I CAME TO UNDERSTAND,
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THAT -- I CAME TO UNDERSTAND,FOR MY OWN MENTAL HEALTH -- WAS
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FOR MY OWN MENTAL HEALTH -- WASVERY IMPORTANT.
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VERY IMPORTANT.AND, IN FEBRUARY, I VISITED AN
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AND, IN FEBRUARY, I VISITED ANAPARTMENT IN FRANKLIN,
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APARTMENT IN FRANKLIN,TENNESSEE.
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TENNESSEE.AND, MELINDA, YOU WERE WITH ME.
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AND, MELINDA, YOU WERE WITH ME.AND, I HAVE THIS PICTURE OF ME
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AND, I HAVE THIS PICTURE OF MEAND THERE WERE FOUR OF MY
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AND THERE WERE FOUR OF MYFRIENDS.
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FRIENDS.AND THEN THE LEASING GUY
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AND THEN THE LEASING GUYWAS THERE.
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WAS THERE.HE'S KIND OF THE RANDOM GUY IN
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HE'S KIND OF THE RANDOM GUY INTHE PICTURE, BUT...
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THE PICTURE, BUT...[LAUGHTER]
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[LAUGHTER]I LOOK BACK AT THAT PICTURE AND
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I LOOK BACK AT THAT PICTURE ANDI THINK: GOD, LET ME NOT TAKE
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I THINK: GOD, LET ME NOT TAKEFOR GRANTED THE MOST INCREDIBLE
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FOR GRANTED THE MOST INCREDIBLEFRIENDS THAT I HAVE.
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FRIENDS THAT I HAVE.AS A SINGLE WOMAN, I FIND MY
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AS A SINGLE WOMAN, I FIND MYRELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHER PEOPLE
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RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHER PEOPLE-- THAT IS SO IMPORTANT.
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-- THAT IS SO IMPORTANT.AND AS A SINGLE WOMAN WHO
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AND AS A SINGLE WOMAN WHOBATTLES WITH DEPRESSION, MY
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BATTLES WITH DEPRESSION, MYRELATIONSHIPS WITH MY FRIENDS
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RELATIONSHIPS WITH MY FRIENDSIS SO IMPORTANT.
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IS SO IMPORTANT.AND I KNOW, GOING INTO
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AND I KNOW, GOING INTOMARRIAGE, I CAN'T EXPECT THAT
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MARRIAGE, I CAN'T EXPECT THATMY HUSBAND IS GOING TO FIX
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MY HUSBAND IS GOING TO FIXEVERYTHING AND THAT I'M NEVER
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EVERYTHING AND THAT I'M NEVERGONNA BE LONELY.
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GONNA BE LONELY.AND I CAN SAY MY MARRIED
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AND I CAN SAY MY MARRIEDFRIENDS -- THEY ACTUALLY TALK
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FRIENDS -- THEY ACTUALLY TALKTO ME ABOUT THE FACT THAT THEY
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TO ME ABOUT THE FACT THAT THEYSOMETIMES FEEL SO LONELY IN
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SOMETIMES FEEL SO LONELY INTHEIR OWN MARRIAGES.
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THEIR OWN MARRIAGES.SO, I KNOW IT'S NOT SOMETHING
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SO, I KNOW IT'S NOT SOMETHINGTHAT IS AUTOMATICALLY GOING TO
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THAT IS AUTOMATICALLY GOING TOBE FIXED...BY MARRIAGE.
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BE FIXED...BY MARRIAGE.BUT I CAN SAY THIS: FOR ME,
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BUT I CAN SAY THIS: FOR ME,HAVING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS IS
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HAVING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ISSOMETHING SO IMPORTANT FOR ME
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SOMETHING SO IMPORTANT FOR METO DO AND FOR ME TO TEND.
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TO DO AND FOR ME TO TEND.AND EVEN IF IT MEANS LEAVING A
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AND EVEN IF IT MEANS LEAVING ACITY TO GO TO ANOTHER CITY, IF
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CITY TO GO TO ANOTHER CITY, IFTHAT IS SOMETHING I HAVE TO DO
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THAT IS SOMETHING I HAVE TO DOTO MAKE SURE I'M NOT ISOLATING,
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TO MAKE SURE I'M NOT ISOLATING,TO MAKE SURE THAT WHEN
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TO MAKE SURE THAT WHENMY FRIENDS HAVE NOT
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MY FRIENDS HAVE NOTHEARD FROM ME IN A WHILE
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HEARD FROM ME IN A WHILETHAT THEY'RE GONNA BE
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THAT THEY'RE GONNA BEABLE TO COME TO MY DOOR AND
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ABLE TO COME TO MY DOOR ANDSOMETIMES GET ME OUT OF MY
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SOMETIMES GET ME OUT OF MYHOUSE, WHICH IS THE LAST THING
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HOUSE, WHICH IS THE LAST THINGTHAT I WANT.
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THAT I WANT.BUT, I REMEMBER IN THAT
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BUT, I REMEMBER IN THATCONVERSATION WITH ALEX, MY
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CONVERSATION WITH ALEX, MYPASTOR, SHE SAID, "WOULD IT BE
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PASTOR, SHE SAID, "WOULD IT BEPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO GIVE YOUR
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POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO GIVE YOURKEY TO SOMEBODY?"
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KEY TO SOMEBODY?"AND SO, KNOWING THAT THESE
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AND SO, KNOWING THAT THESECONVERSATIONS THAT WE ARE
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CONVERSATIONS THAT WE AREHAVING HERE, I TOOK SOME
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HAVING HERE, I TOOK SOMEPRACTICAL STEPS AFTER THAT
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PRACTICAL STEPS AFTER THATCONVERSATION THAT I HAD ON
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CONVERSATION THAT I HAD ON"BETTER TOGETHER."
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"BETTER TOGETHER."AND SO, MY PRAYER FOR THE
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AND SO, MY PRAYER FOR THESINGLE PERSON WATCHING THIS
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SINGLE PERSON WATCHING THISTODAY IS THAT MAYBE THEY WOULD
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TODAY IS THAT MAYBE THEY WOULDLOOK AT WHAT ARE SOME PRACTICAL
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LOOK AT WHAT ARE SOME PRACTICALTHINGS THAT I CAN DO IF I
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THINGS THAT I CAN DO IF IBATTLE WITH LONELINESS, IF I
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BATTLE WITH LONELINESS, IF IBATTLE WITH DEPRESSION OR
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BATTLE WITH DEPRESSION ORMENTAL HEALTH ISSUES.
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MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES.WHAT ARE SOME THINGS THAT I CAN
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WHAT ARE SOME THINGS THAT I CANPUT INTO PLACE?
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PUT INTO PLACE?AND, FOR ME, I THINK COMMUNITY
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AND, FOR ME, I THINK COMMUNITYIS SO IMPORTANT, WHETHER YOU
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IS SO IMPORTANT, WHETHER YOUARE MARRIED OR WHETHER YOU ARE
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ARE MARRIED OR WHETHER YOU ARESINGLE.
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SINGLE.BUT PART OF ME THINKS THAT IT'S
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BUT PART OF ME THINKS THAT IT'SEVEN MORE IMPORTANT FOR THE
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EVEN MORE IMPORTANT FOR THESINGLE LADIES OUT THERE WHO ARE
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SINGLE LADIES OUT THERE WHO AREWATCHING.
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WATCHING.I WOULD LOVE TO ASK THIS OF
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I WOULD LOVE TO ASK THIS OFYOU, DR. ROBYN.
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YOU, DR. ROBYN.BUT WHEN I LOOK AT THE
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BUT WHEN I LOOK AT THEBEGINNING WHERE IT SAYS-- YOU
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BEGINNING WHERE IT SAYS-- YOUKNOW, WHERE GOD SAYS THAT MAN
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KNOW, WHERE GOD SAYS THAT MANSHOULD NOT LIVE BY HIMSELF,
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SHOULD NOT LIVE BY HIMSELF,IT'S NOT GOOD FOR MAN TO BE BY
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IT'S NOT GOOD FOR MAN TO BE BYHIMSELF, I GUESS I THINK THAT
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HIMSELF, I GUESS I THINK THATCAN...TALK ABOUT MARRIAGE.
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CAN...TALK ABOUT MARRIAGE.AND I THINK THAT, YOU KNOW, EVE
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AND I THINK THAT, YOU KNOW, EVEWAS GIVEN TO ADAM IN MARRIAGE.
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WAS GIVEN TO ADAM IN MARRIAGE.BUT COULDN'T IT ALSO BE
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BUT COULDN'T IT ALSO BESOMETHING THAT CAN SPEAK TO US,
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SOMETHING THAT CAN SPEAK TO US,AS SINGLE PEOPLE?
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AS SINGLE PEOPLE?IT'S NOT GOOD FOR US TO BE BY
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IT'S NOT GOOD FOR US TO BE BYOURSELVES.
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OURSELVES.AND, EVEN IF IT'S NOT A
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AND, EVEN IF IT'S NOT AHUSBAND, COULDN'T IT JUST BE
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HUSBAND, COULDN'T IT JUST BEGOOD, HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS AND
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GOOD, HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ANDFRIENDSHIP?
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FRIENDSHIP?- DR. ROBYN WILKERSON:
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- DR. ROBYN WILKERSON:ABSOLUTELY.
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ABSOLUTELY.AND I THINK THAT, SOMETIMES,
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AND I THINK THAT, SOMETIMES,IT'S GOOD TO JUST KIND OF HAVE
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IT'S GOOD TO JUST KIND OF HAVESOME SELF-AWARENESS, LIKE
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SOME SELF-AWARENESS, LIKEYOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, RIGHT
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YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, RIGHTNOW, AND TO JUST BE HONEST
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NOW, AND TO JUST BE HONESTWITH OURSELVES AND GIVE SOME
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WITH OURSELVES AND GIVE SOMESELF-ASSESSMENT.
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SELF-ASSESSMENT.AND THAT WOULD BE TO JUST KIND
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AND THAT WOULD BE TO JUST KINDOF LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SAY:
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OF LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SAY:IT'S OKAY TO BE ME, IN REGARD
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IT'S OKAY TO BE ME, IN REGARDTO THINGS LIKE SELF-ISOLATING.
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TO THINGS LIKE SELF-ISOLATING.LET ME EXPLAIN WHAT I MEAN.
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LET ME EXPLAIN WHAT I MEAN.IF PEOPLE DRAIN YOU, AFTER
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IF PEOPLE DRAIN YOU, AFTERYOU'VE BEEN AROUND PEOPLE FOR A
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YOU'VE BEEN AROUND PEOPLE FOR AWHILE, THAT MEANS THAT MAYBE
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WHILE, THAT MEANS THAT MAYBEYOU'RE A NATURAL INTROVERT,
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YOU'RE A NATURAL INTROVERT,JUST A LITTLE BIT.
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JUST A LITTLE BIT.IF PEOPLE ENERGIZE YOU, AND
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IF PEOPLE ENERGIZE YOU, ANDYOU'RE NEVER TIRED OF THE
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YOU'RE NEVER TIRED OF THECROWD, WELL, THEN, MAYBE YOU'RE
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CROWD, WELL, THEN, MAYBE YOU'REA NATURAL EXTROVERT.
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A NATURAL EXTROVERT.I HAVE BOTH KINDS OF PEOPLE IN
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I HAVE BOTH KINDS OF PEOPLE INMY FAMILY, MY BIOLOGICAL
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MY FAMILY, MY BIOLOGICALFAMILY.
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FAMILY.THEY ARE BOTH.
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THEY ARE BOTH.AND, THAT'S NATURAL FOR THEM.
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AND, THAT'S NATURAL FOR THEM.ME -- I'M A ISOLATOR.
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ME -- I'M A ISOLATOR.I TEND TO ISOLATE MYSELF.
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I TEND TO ISOLATE MYSELF.AND THEN, WHEN I'M NOT FEELING
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AND THEN, WHEN I'M NOT FEELINGSO STRONG, OR NOT FEELING SO
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SO STRONG, OR NOT FEELING SOGREAT ABOUT MYSELF, I HAVE A
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GREAT ABOUT MYSELF, I HAVE ATENDENCY TO PULL BACK EVEN
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TENDENCY TO PULL BACK EVENMORE.
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MORE.SO, THAT'S AN AWARENESS OF WHO
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SO, THAT'S AN AWARENESS OF WHOI AM.
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I AM.IT'S OKAY TO BE ME!
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IT'S OKAY TO BE ME!IT'S OKAY TO BE YOU.
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IT'S OKAY TO BE YOU.AND WE NEED TO BE AWARE OF WHAT
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AND WE NEED TO BE AWARE OF WHATOUR NATURAL TENDENCY IS,
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OUR NATURAL TENDENCY IS,WHETHER WE'RE SINGLE OR WHETHER
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WHETHER WE'RE SINGLE OR WHETHERWE'RE MARRIED.
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WE'RE MARRIED.NOW, THERE IS A BIBLE
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NOW, THERE IS A BIBLEPRINCIPLE, THOUGH, AND GOD
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PRINCIPLE, THOUGH, AND GODALWAYS HONORS HIS WORD.
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ALWAYS HONORS HIS WORD.AND THAT IS: WHAT WE...PLANT,
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AND THAT IS: WHAT WE...PLANT,WE WILL HARVEST.
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WE WILL HARVEST.NOW, WHAT DOES IT SAY IN
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NOW, WHAT DOES IT SAY IN1 THESSALONIANS 5:11?
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1 THESSALONIANS 5:11?"SO, ENCOURAGE EACH OTHER AND
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"SO, ENCOURAGE EACH OTHER ANDBUILD EACH OTHER UP, JUST AS
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BUILD EACH OTHER UP, JUST ASYOU ARE ALREADY DOING."
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YOU ARE ALREADY DOING."SO, HERE'S A LIFE PRINCIPLE
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SO, HERE'S A LIFE PRINCIPLETHAT I HAVE FOUND WORKS -- IT
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THAT I HAVE FOUND WORKS -- ITJUST WORKS.
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JUST WORKS.THIS IS WHY YOU NEED TO BE PART
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THIS IS WHY YOU NEED TO BE PARTOF A LOCAL FELLOWSHIP, PART OF
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OF A LOCAL FELLOWSHIP, PART OFA CHURCH, AND THEN, PART OF
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A CHURCH, AND THEN, PART OFLIKE A CONNECT GROUP, AND HAVE
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LIKE A CONNECT GROUP, AND HAVEA FRIEND AND GIVE THEM A KEY,
00:06:29.167 --> 00:06:30.068
A FRIEND AND GIVE THEM A KEY,LIKE YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT.
00:06:30.068 --> 00:06:30.669
LIKE YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT.AND HERE'S THE PRINCIPLE: WHAT
00:06:30.669 --> 00:06:33.772
AND HERE'S THE PRINCIPLE: WHATI MAKE HAPPEN FOR OTHERS, GOD
00:06:33.772 --> 00:06:37.976
I MAKE HAPPEN FOR OTHERS, GODWILL MAKE HAPPEN FOR ME.
00:06:37.976 --> 00:06:39.177
WILL MAKE HAPPEN FOR ME.WHAT I MAKE HAPPEN FOR OTHERS,
00:06:39.177 --> 00:06:42.714
WHAT I MAKE HAPPEN FOR OTHERS,GOD WILL MAKE HAPPEN FOR ME.
00:06:42.714 --> 00:06:44.382
GOD WILL MAKE HAPPEN FOR ME.IN OTHER WORDS, THE ONE WHO
00:06:44.382 --> 00:06:46.051
IN OTHER WORDS, THE ONE WHOBLESSES OTHERS IS ABUNDANTLY
00:06:46.051 --> 00:06:48.086
BLESSES OTHERS IS ABUNDANTLYBLESSED!
00:06:48.086 --> 00:06:49.521
BLESSED!THOSE WHO HELP OTHERS, HE SAYS
00:06:49.521 --> 00:06:51.022
THOSE WHO HELP OTHERS, HE SAYSIN PROVERBS 11:25, WILL BE
00:06:51.022 --> 00:06:53.225
IN PROVERBS 11:25, WILL BEHELPED!
00:06:53.225 --> 00:06:53.925
HELPED!NOW, WHY AM I TELLING YOU THAT
00:06:53.925 --> 00:06:54.860
NOW, WHY AM I TELLING YOU THATSTORY?
00:06:54.860 --> 00:06:56.495
STORY?I HAVE A VERY CLOSE FRIEND.
00:06:56.495 --> 00:06:59.865
I HAVE A VERY CLOSE FRIEND.AND, SHE...THOUGHT SHE WAS IN
00:06:59.865 --> 00:07:00.665
AND, SHE...THOUGHT SHE WAS INREALLY HAPPY MARRIAGE.
00:07:00.665 --> 00:07:06.271
REALLY HAPPY MARRIAGE.AND, SHE KNEW THAT HER HUSBAND
00:07:06.271 --> 00:07:07.172
AND, SHE KNEW THAT HER HUSBANDWAS TROUBLED, BUT SHE LOVED
00:07:07.172 --> 00:07:08.507
WAS TROUBLED, BUT SHE LOVEDHIM.
00:07:08.507 --> 00:07:09.808
HIM.THEY HAD CHILDREN.
00:07:09.808 --> 00:07:12.310
THEY HAD CHILDREN.AND SHE HAD A JOB THAT TOOK HER
00:07:12.310 --> 00:07:14.212
AND SHE HAD A JOB THAT TOOK HEROUT OF TOWN A LOT.
00:07:14.212 --> 00:07:16.248
OUT OF TOWN A LOT.AND, WITH THAT, SHE WOULD ASK,
00:07:16.248 --> 00:07:18.316
AND, WITH THAT, SHE WOULD ASK,"I-I TRIED TO CALL YOU AND YOU
00:07:18.316 --> 00:07:20.852
"I-I TRIED TO CALL YOU AND YOUDIDN'T ANSWER THE PHONE."
00:07:20.852 --> 00:07:21.453
DIDN'T ANSWER THE PHONE."AND, HE WOULD ALWAYS HAVE A
00:07:21.453 --> 00:07:22.387
AND, HE WOULD ALWAYS HAVE ASTORY.
00:07:22.387 --> 00:07:24.122
STORY.WELL...TIME WENT ON AND SHE
00:07:24.122 --> 00:07:27.292
WELL...TIME WENT ON AND SHEREAD A LOT OF ARTICLES ABOUT
00:07:27.292 --> 00:07:29.728
READ A LOT OF ARTICLES ABOUT"MAN IN THE AREA" WHO WAS DOING
00:07:29.728 --> 00:07:30.962
"MAN IN THE AREA" WHO WAS DOINGALL KINDS OF THINGS THAT WERE
00:07:30.962 --> 00:07:34.966
ALL KINDS OF THINGS THAT WEREHURTING WOMEN.
00:07:34.966 --> 00:07:36.067
HURTING WOMEN.AND I'LL JUST CUT TO THE CHASE.
00:07:36.067 --> 00:07:38.870
AND I'LL JUST CUT TO THE CHASE.SHE DISCOVERED, UNFORTUNATELY,
00:07:38.870 --> 00:07:40.005
SHE DISCOVERED, UNFORTUNATELY,THAT HE WAS CHARGED WITH THOSE
00:07:40.005 --> 00:07:43.475
THAT HE WAS CHARGED WITH THOSETERRIBLE CRIMES.
00:07:43.475 --> 00:07:44.776
TERRIBLE CRIMES.- MANDISA: WOW.
00:07:44.776 --> 00:07:45.577
- MANDISA: WOW.- DR. ROBYN: AND HE WAS PUT ON
00:07:45.577 --> 00:07:46.144
- DR. ROBYN: AND HE WAS PUT ONTRIAL AND HE WAS ULTIMATELY
00:07:46.144 --> 00:07:48.813
TRIAL AND HE WAS ULTIMATELYSENT TO JAIL.
00:07:48.813 --> 00:07:50.348
SENT TO JAIL.AND NOT SENT TO JAIL FOR A
00:07:50.348 --> 00:07:50.982
AND NOT SENT TO JAIL FOR ASHORT TIME -- DECADES AND
00:07:50.982 --> 00:07:53.318
SHORT TIME -- DECADES ANDDECADES.
00:07:53.318 --> 00:07:54.319
DECADES.AND, UNFORTUNATELY, HE IS
00:07:54.319 --> 00:07:55.420
AND, UNFORTUNATELY, HE ISTHERE, RIGHT NOW, SERVING TIME
00:07:55.420 --> 00:07:58.189
THERE, RIGHT NOW, SERVING TIMEFOR THOSE...CRIMES.
00:07:58.189 --> 00:07:58.924
FOR THOSE...CRIMES.NOW, WHY AM I TELLING YOU THAT
00:07:58.924 --> 00:07:59.658
NOW, WHY AM I TELLING YOU THATSTORY?
00:07:59.658 --> 00:08:01.192
STORY?THIS PARTICULAR FRIEND OF
00:08:01.192 --> 00:08:05.297
THIS PARTICULAR FRIEND OFMINE -- SHE TURNS OUT TO BE
00:08:05.297 --> 00:08:06.965
MINE -- SHE TURNS OUT TO BETHAT PERSONALITY WHO IS
00:08:06.965 --> 00:08:11.436
THAT PERSONALITY WHO ISENERGIZED BY PEOPLE.
00:08:11.436 --> 00:08:12.771
ENERGIZED BY PEOPLE.AND SHE TURNED OUT TO BE THE
00:08:12.771 --> 00:08:14.105
AND SHE TURNED OUT TO BE THEWIFE THAT DIDN'T WANT TO BE
00:08:14.105 --> 00:08:16.107
WIFE THAT DIDN'T WANT TO BESINGLE.
00:08:16.107 --> 00:08:18.209
SINGLE.AND AS IT TURNS OUT, SHE IS
00:08:18.209 --> 00:08:19.844
AND AS IT TURNS OUT, SHE ISSTILL IN A SEASON WHERE SHE HAS
00:08:19.844 --> 00:08:24.149
STILL IN A SEASON WHERE SHE HASNOT BEEN ABLE TO GET REMARRIED.
00:08:24.149 --> 00:08:25.650
NOT BEEN ABLE TO GET REMARRIED.AND SHE BATTLES LONELINESS.
00:08:25.650 --> 00:08:28.420
AND SHE BATTLES LONELINESS.AND YET, I HAVE WATCHED HER
00:08:28.420 --> 00:08:32.824
AND YET, I HAVE WATCHED HERMAKE HAPPEN FOR OTHERS.
00:08:32.824 --> 00:08:33.425
MAKE HAPPEN FOR OTHERS.AND SHE HAS INVESTED
00:08:33.425 --> 00:08:36.528
AND SHE HAS INVESTEDHER LOVE AND HER FRIENDSHIP,
00:08:36.528 --> 00:08:38.096
HER LOVE AND HER FRIENDSHIP,AND SHE TAKES THE COOKIES,
00:08:38.096 --> 00:08:39.731
AND SHE TAKES THE COOKIES,AND SHE'S PART OF THE
00:08:39.731 --> 00:08:40.999
AND SHE'S PART OF THECONNECT GROUP, AND SHE
00:08:40.999 --> 00:08:42.033
CONNECT GROUP, AND SHESERVES AT THE CHURCH.
00:08:42.033 --> 00:08:44.102
SERVES AT THE CHURCH.AND I'M TELLING THIS TO GIVE
00:08:44.102 --> 00:08:45.303
AND I'M TELLING THIS TO GIVETHE TESTIMONY THAT, 20 YEARS
00:08:45.303 --> 00:08:47.405
THE TESTIMONY THAT, 20 YEARSLATER, WHAT HAPPENED?
00:08:47.405 --> 00:08:49.608
LATER, WHAT HAPPENED?DID SHE LOSE HER CAR?
00:08:49.608 --> 00:08:51.142
DID SHE LOSE HER CAR?DID SHE LOSE HER HOME?
00:08:51.142 --> 00:08:51.810
DID SHE LOSE HER HOME?DID SHE LOSE HER JOB?
00:08:51.810 --> 00:08:54.312
DID SHE LOSE HER JOB?NO!
00:08:54.312 --> 00:08:55.413
NO![SMACKING OF PALM FOR EMPHASIS]
00:08:55.413 --> 00:08:56.815
[SMACKING OF PALM FOR EMPHASIS]JESUS SUSTAINED HER THROUGH
00:08:56.815 --> 00:08:57.582
JESUS SUSTAINED HER THROUGHTHAT.
00:08:57.582 --> 00:09:01.052
THAT.AND HER GIRLS WENT TO COLLEGE,
00:09:01.052 --> 00:09:02.153
AND HER GIRLS WENT TO COLLEGE,THEY GOT MARRIED, THEY HAD
00:09:02.153 --> 00:09:02.787
THEY GOT MARRIED, THEY HADCHILDREN, AND HER TESTIMONY IS
00:09:02.787 --> 00:09:05.890
CHILDREN, AND HER TESTIMONY ISTHAT WHAT YOU MAKE
00:09:05.890 --> 00:09:07.892
THAT WHAT YOU MAKEHAPPEN FOR OTHERS,
00:09:07.892 --> 00:09:10.962
HAPPEN FOR OTHERS,GOD WILL MAKE HAPPEN FOR YOU.
00:09:10.962 --> 00:09:12.664
GOD WILL MAKE HAPPEN FOR YOU.WE HAVE THE WEAPONS TO BE THE
00:09:12.664 --> 00:09:15.800
WE HAVE THE WEAPONS TO BE THEWARRIOR.
00:09:15.800 --> 00:09:20.372
WARRIOR.AS WE OVERCOME IN THESE
00:09:20.372 --> 00:09:22.207
AS WE OVERCOME IN THESECIRCUMSTANCES, GOD WILL BE WITH
00:09:22.207 --> 00:09:24.976
CIRCUMSTANCES, GOD WILL BE WITHUS, EVEN WHEN THE SINGLE LIFE
00:09:24.976 --> 00:09:27.078
US, EVEN WHEN THE SINGLE LIFEIS NOT THE EASY LIFE, OR EVEN
00:09:27.078 --> 00:09:29.280
IS NOT THE EASY LIFE, OR EVENWHEN THE MARRIED LIFE-- SHE WAS
00:09:29.280 --> 00:09:31.383
WHEN THE MARRIED LIFE-- SHE WASA MARRIED WOMAN!
00:09:31.383 --> 00:09:32.751
A MARRIED WOMAN!AND IT DIDN'T TURN OUT TO BE
00:09:32.751 --> 00:09:34.586
AND IT DIDN'T TURN OUT TO BETHE EASY LIFE.
00:09:34.586 --> 00:09:36.087
THE EASY LIFE.THERE ISN'T NECESSARILY A
00:09:36.087 --> 00:09:38.990
THERE ISN'T NECESSARILY APATHWAY THAT'S EASY.
00:09:38.990 --> 00:09:40.825
PATHWAY THAT'S EASY.GOD DOESN'T PROMISE THAT IT'S
00:09:40.825 --> 00:09:41.660
GOD DOESN'T PROMISE THAT IT'SGOING TO BE EASY.
00:09:41.660 --> 00:09:42.394
GOING TO BE EASY.PEOPLE MAKE CHOICES.
00:09:42.394 --> 00:09:43.962
PEOPLE MAKE CHOICES.HE MADE THE WRONG CHOICE.
00:09:43.962 --> 00:09:45.764
HE MADE THE WRONG CHOICE.BUT, TODAY, HER TESTIMONY
00:09:45.764 --> 00:09:47.132
BUT, TODAY, HER TESTIMONYIS -- AND SHE'LL BE WATCHING
00:09:47.132 --> 00:09:49.567
IS -- AND SHE'LL BE WATCHINGAND SHE'LL WANT YOU TO KNOW --
00:09:49.567 --> 00:09:51.836
AND SHE'LL WANT YOU TO KNOW --THAT GOD IS WITH HER.
00:09:51.836 --> 00:09:54.272
THAT GOD IS WITH HER.WHAT WE MAKE HAPPEN FOR OTHERS,
00:09:54.272 --> 00:10:00.979
WHAT WE MAKE HAPPEN FOR OTHERS,GOD WILL MAKE HAPPEN FOR US.
00:10:00.979 --> 00:10:01.646
GOD WILL MAKE HAPPEN FOR US.SO, THAT'S MY TESTIMONY, TODAY,
00:10:01.646 --> 00:10:04.716
SO, THAT'S MY TESTIMONY, TODAY,THAT WE CAN OVERCOME.
00:10:04.716 --> 00:10:06.651
THAT WE CAN OVERCOME.AND, MELINDA, YOU'RE DOING IT
00:10:06.651 --> 00:10:08.486
AND, MELINDA, YOU'RE DOING ITEVERY DAY, AS A SINGLE WOMAN.
00:10:08.486 --> 00:10:10.088
EVERY DAY, AS A SINGLE WOMAN.- MELINDA DOOLITTLE: YOU KNOW,
00:10:10.088 --> 00:10:12.157
- MELINDA DOOLITTLE: YOU KNOW,I, UM...I HAVE GROWN UP
00:10:12.157 --> 00:10:13.491
I, UM...I HAVE GROWN UPHEARING, YOU KNOW, WHAT WE MAKE
00:10:13.491 --> 00:10:14.292
HEARING, YOU KNOW, WHAT WE MAKEHAPPEN FOR OTHERS, GOD WILL
00:10:14.292 --> 00:10:16.327
HAPPEN FOR OTHERS, GOD WILLMAKE HAPPEN FOR US.
00:10:16.327 --> 00:10:19.330
MAKE HAPPEN FOR US.AND, AS THE INTROVERT OF ALL
00:10:19.330 --> 00:10:22.434
AND, AS THE INTROVERT OF ALLINTROVERTS, I...TRULY BELIEVED
00:10:22.434 --> 00:10:25.403
INTROVERTS, I...TRULY BELIEVEDTHAT THAT MEANT, LIKE, IF I
00:10:25.403 --> 00:10:26.304
THAT THAT MEANT, LIKE, IF ILEAVE PEOPLE ALONE, THEY WILL
00:10:26.304 --> 00:10:28.273
LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE, THEY WILLLEAVE ME ALONE.
00:10:28.273 --> 00:10:30.075
LEAVE ME ALONE.YOU KNOW.
00:10:30.075 --> 00:10:30.975
YOU KNOW.[LAUGHTER]
00:10:30.975 --> 00:10:31.676
[LAUGHTER]I-- I WAS LIKE-- I REALLY
00:10:31.676 --> 00:10:33.244
I-- I WAS LIKE-- I REALLYWANTED THAT.
00:10:33.244 --> 00:10:34.212
WANTED THAT.IF YOU KNOW ABOUT THE
00:10:34.212 --> 00:10:35.080
IF YOU KNOW ABOUT THEENNEAGRAM, I AM A FIVE.
00:10:35.080 --> 00:10:36.214
ENNEAGRAM, I AM A FIVE.AND I'VE BEEN CALLED "THE
00:10:36.214 --> 00:10:37.582
AND I'VE BEEN CALLED "THEFIVIEST FIVE WHO EVER FIVED."
00:10:37.582 --> 00:10:40.118
FIVIEST FIVE WHO EVER FIVED."[LAUGHTER]
00:10:40.118 --> 00:10:40.919
[LAUGHTER]AND I...I QUITE ENJOY THAT
00:10:40.919 --> 00:10:43.254
AND I...I QUITE ENJOY THATTIME.
00:10:43.254 --> 00:10:44.723
TIME.BUT WHAT I'M LEARNING IN THIS
00:10:44.723 --> 00:10:46.191
BUT WHAT I'M LEARNING IN THISPROCESS IS THAT THE BEAUTY IS
00:10:46.191 --> 00:10:47.559
PROCESS IS THAT THE BEAUTY ISTRULY IN THE BALANCE.
00:10:47.559 --> 00:10:50.528
TRULY IN THE BALANCE.AND, UM, IN THIS QUARANTINE
00:10:50.528 --> 00:10:52.997
AND, UM, IN THIS QUARANTINETIME THAT WE'RE IN, EVEN RIGHT
00:10:52.997 --> 00:10:55.667
TIME THAT WE'RE IN, EVEN RIGHTNOW, I'VE-- I WAS LIKE: OH!
00:10:55.667 --> 00:10:56.968
NOW, I'VE-- I WAS LIKE: OH!THERE'S A NAME FOR WHAT I'VE
00:10:56.968 --> 00:10:57.569
THERE'S A NAME FOR WHAT I'VEBEEN DOING ALL MY LIFE.
00:10:57.569 --> 00:10:58.403
BEEN DOING ALL MY LIFE.I'VE BEEN QUARANTINING.
00:10:58.403 --> 00:11:01.973
I'VE BEEN QUARANTINING.AND, WHAT GOD HAS KIND OF
00:11:01.973 --> 00:11:05.110
AND, WHAT GOD HAS KIND OFWORKED WITH ME ON IS THAT
00:11:05.110 --> 00:11:07.112
WORKED WITH ME ON IS THATCONNECTION AND COMMUNITY IS
00:11:07.112 --> 00:11:09.414
CONNECTION AND COMMUNITY ISREALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT, AND
00:11:09.414 --> 00:11:12.417
REALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT, ANDTHAT THE BALANCE OF ME GETTING,
00:11:12.417 --> 00:11:14.486
THAT THE BALANCE OF ME GETTING,YOU KNOW, ENERGIZED BY BEING BY
00:11:14.486 --> 00:11:18.223
YOU KNOW, ENERGIZED BY BEING BYMYSELF SHOULD ALSO BE BALANCED
00:11:18.223 --> 00:11:21.860
MYSELF SHOULD ALSO BE BALANCEDWITH SPENDING TIME IN COMMUNITY
00:11:21.860 --> 00:11:24.162
WITH SPENDING TIME IN COMMUNITYAND FINDING THOSE PEOPLE THAT
00:11:24.162 --> 00:11:25.430
AND FINDING THOSE PEOPLE THATDO GIVE LIFE.
00:11:25.430 --> 00:11:26.898
DO GIVE LIFE.AND, I HAVE TWO SINGLE WOMEN
00:11:26.898 --> 00:11:28.266
AND, I HAVE TWO SINGLE WOMENTHAT I MEET WITH EVERY SINGLE
00:11:28.266 --> 00:11:29.601
THAT I MEET WITH EVERY SINGLEWEEK, IN A GARAGE, SOCIALLY
00:11:29.601 --> 00:11:31.402
WEEK, IN A GARAGE, SOCIALLYDISTANCED, AND WE TALK ABOUT
00:11:31.402 --> 00:11:33.371
DISTANCED, AND WE TALK ABOUTTHE LORD.
00:11:33.371 --> 00:11:34.405
THE LORD.BECAUSE WE KNOW, LIKE, IT'S SO
00:11:34.405 --> 00:11:35.640
BECAUSE WE KNOW, LIKE, IT'S SOIMPORTANT TO HAVE THAT
00:11:35.640 --> 00:11:37.041
IMPORTANT TO HAVE THATCOMMUNITY.
00:11:37.041 --> 00:11:38.643
COMMUNITY.AND I THINK ME BEING ABLE TO
00:11:38.643 --> 00:11:40.178
AND I THINK ME BEING ABLE TOSOW INTO THAT COMMUNITY HAS
00:11:40.178 --> 00:11:41.713
SOW INTO THAT COMMUNITY HASPROVIDED EVEN MORE COMMUNITY.
00:11:41.713 --> 00:11:43.448
PROVIDED EVEN MORE COMMUNITY.SO, IN A TIME WHERE WE SHOULD
00:11:43.448 --> 00:11:45.483
SO, IN A TIME WHERE WE SHOULDPROBABLY FEEL LONELIEST, RIGHT
00:11:45.483 --> 00:11:47.919
PROBABLY FEEL LONELIEST, RIGHTNOW, I FEEL HELD UP BY SUCH
00:11:47.919 --> 00:11:52.090
NOW, I FEEL HELD UP BY SUCHCOMMUNITY.
00:11:52.090 --> 00:11:53.525
COMMUNITY.AND I THINK IT HAS BEEN SO
00:11:53.525 --> 00:11:56.461
AND I THINK IT HAS BEEN SOIMPORTANT FOR ME TO REALIZE:
00:11:56.461 --> 00:11:58.797
IMPORTANT FOR ME TO REALIZE:RIGHT NOW, THAT COMMUNITY IS
00:11:58.797 --> 00:11:59.964
RIGHT NOW, THAT COMMUNITY ISTHE THING THAT WILL GET ME
00:11:59.964 --> 00:12:01.232
THE THING THAT WILL GET METHROUGH.
00:12:01.232 --> 00:12:02.967
THROUGH.AND I THINK IN SINGLENESS OR
00:12:02.967 --> 00:12:04.736
AND I THINK IN SINGLENESS ORJUST IN EVERYDAY LIFE --
00:12:04.736 --> 00:12:07.906
JUST IN EVERYDAY LIFE --MARRIED, SINGLE -- YOUR
00:12:07.906 --> 00:12:09.140
MARRIED, SINGLE -- YOURCOMMUNITY MAKES THE HUGEST
00:12:09.140 --> 00:12:10.041
COMMUNITY MAKES THE HUGESTDIFFERENCE.
00:12:10.041 --> 00:12:12.310
DIFFERENCE.AND I LOVE SEEING MY MARRIED
00:12:12.310 --> 00:12:14.679
AND I LOVE SEEING MY MARRIEDFRIENDS ON HERE BE ABLE TO
00:12:14.679 --> 00:12:17.148
FRIENDS ON HERE BE ABLE TOSTILL STAY IN COMMUNITY.
00:12:17.148 --> 00:12:19.184
STILL STAY IN COMMUNITY.LIKE, JANICE, YOU'VE TAKEN TIME
00:12:19.184 --> 00:12:21.953
LIKE, JANICE, YOU'VE TAKEN TIMEOUT FOR ME...LIKE, IN THE MIDST
00:12:21.953 --> 00:12:24.823
OUT FOR ME...LIKE, IN THE MIDSTOF EVERYTHING.
00:12:24.823 --> 00:12:25.857
OF EVERYTHING.AND THERE ARE TIMES THAT YOU
00:12:25.857 --> 00:12:27.125
AND THERE ARE TIMES THAT YOUAND E.J. BOTH HAVE COME OVER
00:12:27.125 --> 00:12:28.393
AND E.J. BOTH HAVE COME OVERAND WE'VE HAD SUPPER CLUB.
00:12:28.393 --> 00:12:29.561
AND WE'VE HAD SUPPER CLUB.- JANICE GAINES: YES!
00:12:29.561 --> 00:12:30.762
- JANICE GAINES: YES!- MELINDA: AND WE'VE HAD THE
00:12:30.762 --> 00:12:33.231
- MELINDA: AND WE'VE HAD THEMOST BEAUTIFUL COMMUNITY.
00:12:33.231 --> 00:12:34.232
MOST BEAUTIFUL COMMUNITY.AND I THINK THAT THAT'S SO, SO
00:12:34.232 --> 00:12:34.966
AND I THINK THAT THAT'S SO, SOIMPORTANT.
00:12:34.966 --> 00:12:36.668
IMPORTANT.UH, HAVILAH, WHAT IS YOUR
00:12:36.668 --> 00:12:38.303
UH, HAVILAH, WHAT IS YOURCOMMUNITY LIKE, RIGHT NOW?
00:12:38.303 --> 00:12:39.504
COMMUNITY LIKE, RIGHT NOW?LIKE, WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE,
00:12:39.504 --> 00:12:40.738
LIKE, WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE,NOW THAT WE'RE KIND OF ALL
00:12:40.738 --> 00:12:41.306
NOW THAT WE'RE KIND OF ALLSEPARATE?
00:12:41.306 --> 00:12:43.107
SEPARATE?WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE FOR YOU?
00:12:43.107 --> 00:12:43.842
WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE FOR YOU?- HAVILAH CUNNINGTON: WELL,
00:12:43.842 --> 00:12:44.509
- HAVILAH CUNNINGTON: WELL,FIRST OF ALL, I WANT IN ON YOUR
00:12:44.509 --> 00:12:46.978
FIRST OF ALL, I WANT IN ON YOURARE GROUP.
00:12:46.978 --> 00:12:47.846
ARE GROUP.I FEEL LIKE I'M MISSING OUT.
00:12:47.846 --> 00:12:48.613
I FEEL LIKE I'M MISSING OUT.LIKE, I'M HAVING MAJOR FOMO,
00:12:48.613 --> 00:12:49.113
LIKE, I'M HAVING MAJOR FOMO,RIGHT NOW.
00:12:49.113 --> 00:12:50.148
RIGHT NOW.LIKE, HOW DO I GET IN ON THIS
00:12:50.148 --> 00:12:50.815
LIKE, HOW DO I GET IN ON THISGROUP AND HOW DO I GET INVITED?
00:12:50.815 --> 00:12:51.983
GROUP AND HOW DO I GET INVITED?- JANICE: DO IT...DO IT.
00:12:51.983 --> 00:12:52.917
- JANICE: DO IT...DO IT.- HAVILAH: I DON'T KNOW.
00:12:52.917 --> 00:12:56.788
- HAVILAH: I DON'T KNOW.IS THERE-- OKAY.
00:12:56.788 --> 00:12:57.689
IS THERE-- OKAY.[LAUGHTER]
00:12:57.689 --> 00:12:58.289
[LAUGHTER]UM, SO, I THINK COMMUNITY IS
00:12:58.289 --> 00:12:58.923
UM, SO, I THINK COMMUNITY ISCRITICAL.
00:12:58.923 --> 00:12:59.757
CRITICAL.I'M...AN IDENTICAL TWIN.
00:12:59.757 --> 00:13:00.792
I'M...AN IDENTICAL TWIN.UM, AND WHEN I GOT MARRIED, I
00:13:00.792 --> 00:13:02.026
UM, AND WHEN I GOT MARRIED, ICALL IT MY SECOND MARRIAGE
00:13:02.026 --> 00:13:03.228
CALL IT MY SECOND MARRIAGEBECAUSE I WAS LITERALLY IN THE
00:13:03.228 --> 00:13:05.430
BECAUSE I WAS LITERALLY IN THEWOMB WITH SOMEBODY ELSE.
00:13:05.430 --> 00:13:07.432
WOMB WITH SOMEBODY ELSE.AND SO, I'VE BEEN AROUND PEOPLE
00:13:07.432 --> 00:13:08.733
AND SO, I'VE BEEN AROUND PEOPLEMY WHOLE LIFE.
00:13:08.733 --> 00:13:09.434
MY WHOLE LIFE.I SLEEP BETTER WITH SOMEBODY IN
00:13:09.434 --> 00:13:10.501
I SLEEP BETTER WITH SOMEBODY INTHE BED.
00:13:10.501 --> 00:13:11.669
THE BED.I JUST-- THAT'S JUST ME.
00:13:11.669 --> 00:13:12.704
I JUST-- THAT'S JUST ME.I'VE JUST ALWAYS HAD
00:13:12.704 --> 00:13:13.838
I'VE JUST ALWAYS HADSOMEBODY, RIGHT HERE.
00:13:13.838 --> 00:13:16.341
SOMEBODY, RIGHT HERE.UM, BUT WHAT I DIDN'T REALIZE
00:13:16.341 --> 00:13:19.043
UM, BUT WHAT I DIDN'T REALIZEEARLY ON -- AND I WAS A MOM
00:13:19.043 --> 00:13:20.612
EARLY ON -- AND I WAS A MOMVERY QUICKLY, AND A WIFE, AND I
00:13:20.612 --> 00:13:21.179
VERY QUICKLY, AND A WIFE, AND IWAS SINGLE -- IS WHAT WE'RE
00:13:21.179 --> 00:13:22.747
WAS SINGLE -- IS WHAT WE'RETALKING ABOUT TODAY IS GETTING
00:13:22.747 --> 00:13:23.348
TALKING ABOUT TODAY IS GETTINGYOUR NEEDS MET IN A HEALTHY
00:13:23.348 --> 00:13:23.882
YOUR NEEDS MET IN A HEALTHYWAY.
00:13:23.882 --> 00:13:24.782
WAY.AND WE HAVE CHOICES.
00:13:24.782 --> 00:13:26.284
AND WE HAVE CHOICES.WE CAN EITHER GET OUR NEEDS MET
00:13:26.284 --> 00:13:27.619
WE CAN EITHER GET OUR NEEDS METIN AN UNHEALTHY WAY -- WE CAN
00:13:27.619 --> 00:13:28.887
IN AN UNHEALTHY WAY -- WE CANEITHER JUST EAT WHAT WE WANNA
00:13:28.887 --> 00:13:30.355
EITHER JUST EAT WHAT WE WANNAEAT WHEN WE EAT IT, AND IT'S
00:13:30.355 --> 00:13:31.923
EAT WHEN WE EAT IT, AND IT'SJUST: GET THAT NEED MET.
00:13:31.923 --> 00:13:33.491
JUST: GET THAT NEED MET.OR WE CAN PLAN OUT MEALS THAT
00:13:33.491 --> 00:13:34.692
OR WE CAN PLAN OUT MEALS THATSUSTAIN US AND BRING US
00:13:34.692 --> 00:13:36.261
SUSTAIN US AND BRING USFULFILLMENT.
00:13:36.261 --> 00:13:37.629
FULFILLMENT.AND SO, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT,
00:13:37.629 --> 00:13:38.830
AND SO, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT,UM, BEING SINGLE.
00:13:38.830 --> 00:13:40.098
UM, BEING SINGLE.WE'RE TALKING ABOUT GETTING OUR
00:13:40.098 --> 00:13:41.666
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT GETTING OURNEEDS MET IN A HEALTHY WAY, IN
00:13:41.666 --> 00:13:43.701
NEEDS MET IN A HEALTHY WAY, INWAYS THAT MAYBE ISN'T JUST A
00:13:43.701 --> 00:13:46.170
WAYS THAT MAYBE ISN'T JUST A"ONE SHOT HITS ALL," BUT IT'S
00:13:46.170 --> 00:13:47.238
"ONE SHOT HITS ALL," BUT IT'SACTUALLY GETTING OUR NEEDS MET
00:13:47.238 --> 00:13:47.972
ACTUALLY GETTING OUR NEEDS METUNIQUELY.
00:13:47.972 --> 00:13:50.208
UNIQUELY.AND PEOPLE USED TO THINK, WHEN
00:13:50.208 --> 00:13:51.009
AND PEOPLE USED TO THINK, WHENI WAS SINGLE: OH, YOU HAVE ALL
00:13:51.009 --> 00:13:51.643
I WAS SINGLE: OH, YOU HAVE ALLTHIS TIME!
00:13:51.643 --> 00:13:52.877
THIS TIME!YOU'RE SINGLE!
00:13:52.877 --> 00:13:53.745
YOU'RE SINGLE!YOU CAN GIVE IT TO THE LORD!
00:13:53.745 --> 00:13:54.679
YOU CAN GIVE IT TO THE LORD!IT'S JUST AMAZING!
00:13:54.679 --> 00:13:55.947
IT'S JUST AMAZING!AND I WOULD SAY: NO, IT'S SO
00:13:55.947 --> 00:13:57.148
AND I WOULD SAY: NO, IT'S SOMUCH HARDER, BECAUSE I'M BUSY
00:13:57.148 --> 00:13:58.816
MUCH HARDER, BECAUSE I'M BUSYGETTING MY NEEDS MET WITH
00:13:58.816 --> 00:14:00.451
GETTING MY NEEDS MET WITHDIFFERENT AREAS AND PLACES.
00:14:00.451 --> 00:14:01.586
DIFFERENT AREAS AND PLACES.AND IT REQUIRES INTENTIONALITY,
00:14:01.586 --> 00:14:03.688
AND IT REQUIRES INTENTIONALITY,IT REQUIRES ME TO NOT JUST
00:14:03.688 --> 00:14:06.491
IT REQUIRES ME TO NOT JUSTAUTOMATE MY LIFE.
00:14:06.491 --> 00:14:08.026
AUTOMATE MY LIFE.I HAVE TO ACTUALLY PICK AND
00:14:08.026 --> 00:14:09.894
I HAVE TO ACTUALLY PICK ANDCHOOSE WHO I WANNA HANG OUT
00:14:09.894 --> 00:14:11.195
CHOOSE WHO I WANNA HANG OUTWITH, AND WHO THAT PERSON'S
00:14:11.195 --> 00:14:12.030
WITH, AND WHO THAT PERSON'SGONNA BE FOR ME IN THIS AREA,
00:14:12.030 --> 00:14:13.631
GONNA BE FOR ME IN THIS AREA,AND THEY HAVEN'T MADE A
00:14:13.631 --> 00:14:15.133
AND THEY HAVEN'T MADE ALIFELONG COMMITMENT TO ME, SO
00:14:15.133 --> 00:14:16.434
LIFELONG COMMITMENT TO ME, SOI'M PRAYING THEY WANNA HANG OUT
00:14:16.434 --> 00:14:18.069
I'M PRAYING THEY WANNA HANG OUTWITH ME.
00:14:18.069 --> 00:14:18.670
WITH ME.AND SO, IT'S A UNIQUE THING.
00:14:18.670 --> 00:14:20.672
AND SO, IT'S A UNIQUE THING.AND I GUESS I WANNA SAY: IF YOU
00:14:20.672 --> 00:14:23.474
AND I GUESS I WANNA SAY: IF YOUWANNA SAY IF YOU ARE IN A
00:14:23.474 --> 00:14:24.943
WANNA SAY IF YOU ARE IN ASEASON OF SINGLENESS OR THAT'S
00:14:24.943 --> 00:14:25.576
SEASON OF SINGLENESS OR THAT'SHOW YOU'VE CHOSEN TO LIVE YOUR
00:14:25.576 --> 00:14:26.277
HOW YOU'VE CHOSEN TO LIVE YOURLIFE, GIVE YOURSELF GRACE
00:14:26.277 --> 00:14:27.412
LIFE, GIVE YOURSELF GRACEBECAUSE YOU'RE HAVING TO
00:14:27.412 --> 00:14:27.879
BECAUSE YOU'RE HAVING TOUNIQUELY KNOW WHAT
00:14:27.879 --> 00:14:32.617
UNIQUELY KNOW WHATYOUR NEEDS ARE.
00:14:32.617 --> 00:14:33.318
YOUR NEEDS ARE.FOR ME, PERSONALLY, I'M A
00:14:33.318 --> 00:14:33.885
FOR ME, PERSONALLY, I'M ABETTER WOMAN WHEN I GET MY
00:14:33.885 --> 00:14:36.287
BETTER WOMAN WHEN I GET MYNEEDS MET, AND I'M A BETTER
00:14:36.287 --> 00:14:36.955
NEEDS MET, AND I'M A BETTERWOMAN WHEN I PLAN IT OUT.
00:14:36.955 --> 00:14:37.989
WOMAN WHEN I PLAN IT OUT.I'M A SEVEN ON THE ENNEAGRAM,
00:14:37.989 --> 00:14:39.390
I'M A SEVEN ON THE ENNEAGRAM,IF THAT HELPS YOU, SO BASICALLY
00:14:39.390 --> 00:14:41.893
IF THAT HELPS YOU, SO BASICALLYI'M INDULGENT IN EVERY AREA OF
00:14:41.893 --> 00:14:42.427
I'M INDULGENT IN EVERY AREA OFMY LIFE.
00:14:42.427 --> 00:14:44.262
MY LIFE.AND SO, FOR ME, I'M THE TYPE
00:14:44.262 --> 00:14:45.897
AND SO, FOR ME, I'M THE TYPETHAT DOESN'T EVEN KNOW I HAVE A
00:14:45.897 --> 00:14:46.898
THAT DOESN'T EVEN KNOW I HAVE ANEED, UNTIL I'VE COMPLETELY
00:14:46.898 --> 00:14:48.199
NEED, UNTIL I'VE COMPLETELYLOST MY WAY AND THEN REALIZED,
00:14:48.199 --> 00:14:49.100
LOST MY WAY AND THEN REALIZED,"I HAVE A NEED!" -- AND, I'M
00:14:49.100 --> 00:14:51.569
"I HAVE A NEED!" -- AND, I'MWAY BEHIND.
00:14:51.569 --> 00:14:52.270
WAY BEHIND.AND SO, FOR ME, I'VE HAD TO
00:14:52.270 --> 00:14:52.870
AND SO, FOR ME, I'VE HAD TOREALLY PLAN IT OUT AND GO:
00:14:52.870 --> 00:14:53.638
REALLY PLAN IT OUT AND GO:OKAY.
00:14:53.638 --> 00:14:54.973
OKAY.LIKE, UH...I REMEMBER TALKING
00:14:54.973 --> 00:14:56.908
LIKE, UH...I REMEMBER TALKINGTO LISA BEVERE, AND HER AND I
00:14:56.908 --> 00:14:58.843
TO LISA BEVERE, AND HER AND IARE CLOSE FRIENDS.
00:14:58.843 --> 00:14:59.811
ARE CLOSE FRIENDS.AND SHE SAID: "HAVILAH, YOU
00:14:59.811 --> 00:15:01.212
AND SHE SAID: "HAVILAH, YOUHAVE TO BRING SOMEBODY ON YOUR
00:15:01.212 --> 00:15:02.447
HAVE TO BRING SOMEBODY ON YOURMINISTRY'S TRIPS WITH YOU!
00:15:02.447 --> 00:15:02.947
MINISTRY'S TRIPS WITH YOU!YOU CAN HANG OUT!
00:15:02.947 --> 00:15:03.548
YOU CAN HANG OUT!IT'S A GREAT WAY TO CONNECT!
00:15:03.548 --> 00:15:04.349
IT'S A GREAT WAY TO CONNECT!IT'S GONNA BE AMAZING!"
00:15:04.349 --> 00:15:05.583
IT'S GONNA BE AMAZING!"AND I WAS LIKE, "OKAY!"
00:15:05.583 --> 00:15:07.085
AND I WAS LIKE, "OKAY!"AND SO, I PLANNED MINISTRY
00:15:07.085 --> 00:15:08.653
AND SO, I PLANNED MINISTRYTRIPS WITH PEOPLE.
00:15:08.653 --> 00:15:10.154
TRIPS WITH PEOPLE.ALL THE FRIENDS I HADN'T SEEN
00:15:10.154 --> 00:15:11.723
ALL THE FRIENDS I HADN'T SEENIN YEARS, I WAS BRINGING THEM
00:15:11.723 --> 00:15:13.358
IN YEARS, I WAS BRINGING THEMON TWO OR THREE MINISTRY TRIPS
00:15:13.358 --> 00:15:14.926
ON TWO OR THREE MINISTRY TRIPSA MONTH WITH ME TO HAVE A
00:15:14.926 --> 00:15:16.227
A MONTH WITH ME TO HAVE AREUNION TOUR ON A MINISTRY
00:15:16.227 --> 00:15:18.229
REUNION TOUR ON A MINISTRYTRIP.
00:15:18.229 --> 00:15:19.297
TRIP.LET ME TELL YOU -- IT WAS THE
00:15:19.297 --> 00:15:19.998
LET ME TELL YOU -- IT WAS THEWORST THING I HAD EVER DONE.
00:15:19.998 --> 00:15:20.765
WORST THING I HAD EVER DONE.[LAUGHTER]
00:15:20.765 --> 00:15:22.000
[LAUGHTER]I WOULD GET HOME AND I WOULD BE
00:15:22.000 --> 00:15:23.301
I WOULD GET HOME AND I WOULD BEDELIRIOUS, AND THEN MY HUSBAND
00:15:23.301 --> 00:15:25.536
DELIRIOUS, AND THEN MY HUSBANDWOULD BE LIKE, "HEY, HONEY..."
00:15:25.536 --> 00:15:26.938
WOULD BE LIKE, "HEY, HONEY..."LIKE: LET'S SPEND SOME TIME.
00:15:26.938 --> 00:15:27.538
LIKE: LET'S SPEND SOME TIME.AND I'M LIKE: I DON'T WANNA
00:15:27.538 --> 00:15:28.306
AND I'M LIKE: I DON'T WANNATALK TO ANYBODY!
00:15:28.306 --> 00:15:29.173
TALK TO ANYBODY!I DON'T WANNA SEE ANYBODY!
00:15:29.173 --> 00:15:29.874
I DON'T WANNA SEE ANYBODY!I'M JUST-- I'M DONE!
00:15:29.874 --> 00:15:31.943
I'M JUST-- I'M DONE!AND I REALIZED THAT I WAS
00:15:31.943 --> 00:15:33.144
AND I REALIZED THAT I WASPUTTING ON SOMEBODY ELSE'S
00:15:33.144 --> 00:15:34.545
PUTTING ON SOMEBODY ELSE'SARMOR -- LIKE, WHAT WORKED FOR
00:15:34.545 --> 00:15:35.380
ARMOR -- LIKE, WHAT WORKED FORTHEM WASN'T GOING TO WORK FOR
00:15:35.380 --> 00:15:36.647
THEM WASN'T GOING TO WORK FORME.
00:15:36.647 --> 00:15:37.582
ME.AND SO, I WOULD JUST SAY,
00:15:37.582 --> 00:15:38.916
AND SO, I WOULD JUST SAY,UM...YOU'VE GOTTA FIND YOUR
00:15:38.916 --> 00:15:41.185
UM...YOU'VE GOTTA FIND YOURPEOPLE.
00:15:41.185 --> 00:15:42.553
PEOPLE.YOUR PEOPLE MIGHT BE ONE OR TWO
00:15:42.553 --> 00:15:43.721
YOUR PEOPLE MIGHT BE ONE OR TWOPEOPLE, LIKE JESUS HAD.
00:15:43.721 --> 00:15:44.922
PEOPLE, LIKE JESUS HAD.HE HAD THE TWO.
00:15:44.922 --> 00:15:46.190
HE HAD THE TWO.AND THEN, HE HAD THE 12.
00:15:46.190 --> 00:15:47.558
AND THEN, HE HAD THE 12.BUT, FOR ME, I HAVE A CORE
00:15:47.558 --> 00:15:49.293
BUT, FOR ME, I HAVE A COREGROUP OF GIRLS THAT, IN OUR
00:15:49.293 --> 00:15:51.662
GROUP OF GIRLS THAT, IN OURPAJAMAS, OR BAREFOOT, WE SHARE
00:15:51.662 --> 00:15:53.197
PAJAMAS, OR BAREFOOT, WE SHAREFOOD, WE SIT FOR TWO HOURS, AND
00:15:53.197 --> 00:15:54.465
FOOD, WE SIT FOR TWO HOURS, ANDWE CRY TOGETHER, WE LAUGH
00:15:54.465 --> 00:15:55.867
WE CRY TOGETHER, WE LAUGHTOGETHER, WE ENCOURAGE EACH
00:15:55.867 --> 00:15:57.402
TOGETHER, WE ENCOURAGE EACHOTHER.
00:15:57.402 --> 00:15:58.936
OTHER.AND, AS A MINISTER, UH, WHO
00:15:58.936 --> 00:16:00.371
AND, AS A MINISTER, UH, WHOGREW UP IN A MINISTER'S HOME, I
00:16:00.371 --> 00:16:01.973
GREW UP IN A MINISTER'S HOME, IDIDN'T KNOW THAT I WAS ALLOWED
00:16:01.973 --> 00:16:03.441
DIDN'T KNOW THAT I WAS ALLOWEDTO GET MY NEEDS MET IN THAT
00:16:03.441 --> 00:16:03.941
TO GET MY NEEDS MET IN THATWAY.
00:16:03.941 --> 00:16:05.376
WAY.I ASSUMED IT WAS: COME ONE,
00:16:05.376 --> 00:16:06.144
I ASSUMED IT WAS: COME ONE,COME ALL; I GOTTA MAKE SPACE
00:16:06.144 --> 00:16:07.245
COME ALL; I GOTTA MAKE SPACEFOR EVERYBODY.
00:16:07.245 --> 00:16:09.213
FOR EVERYBODY.AND IT WASN'T UNTIL I REALIZED:
00:16:09.213 --> 00:16:11.282
AND IT WASN'T UNTIL I REALIZED:I NEED TO GET MY NEEDS MET IN A
00:16:11.282 --> 00:16:12.517
I NEED TO GET MY NEEDS MET IN AHEALTHY WAY WITH HEALTHY PEOPLE
00:16:12.517 --> 00:16:13.651
HEALTHY WAY WITH HEALTHY PEOPLETHAT DON'T JUST NEED TO BE
00:16:13.651 --> 00:16:15.053
THAT DON'T JUST NEED TO BEMINISTERED TO, BUT THAT COULD
00:16:15.053 --> 00:16:15.853
MINISTERED TO, BUT THAT COULDMINISTER TO ME.
00:16:15.853 --> 00:16:16.721
MINISTER TO ME.[SNICKERS]
00:16:16.721 --> 00:16:17.622
[SNICKERS]AND I HAVE SAT WITH THOSE WOMEN
00:16:17.622 --> 00:16:19.424
AND I HAVE SAT WITH THOSE WOMENFOR SIX YEARS, EVERY OTHER
00:16:19.424 --> 00:16:21.893
FOR SIX YEARS, EVERY OTHERWEEK, RAIN OR SHINE.
00:16:21.893 --> 00:16:23.728
WEEK, RAIN OR SHINE.THEY'VE SEEN THE WORST OF ME,
00:16:23.728 --> 00:16:24.896
THEY'VE SEEN THE WORST OF ME,THEY'VE SEEN THE BEST OF ME.
00:16:24.896 --> 00:16:26.297
THEY'VE SEEN THE BEST OF ME.AND WE HAVE FORGED A
00:16:26.297 --> 00:16:27.365
AND WE HAVE FORGED AFRIENDSHIP.
00:16:27.365 --> 00:16:29.333
FRIENDSHIP.AND MY NEEDS GET MET WITH THOSE
00:16:29.333 --> 00:16:31.369
AND MY NEEDS GET MET WITH THOSEWOMEN MORE THAN ANY OTHER
00:16:31.369 --> 00:16:32.503
WOMEN MORE THAN ANY OTHERRELATIONSHIPS IN MY LIFE.
00:16:32.503 --> 00:16:33.838
RELATIONSHIPS IN MY LIFE.AND SO, EVEN THOUGH I'M A
00:16:33.838 --> 00:16:34.972
AND SO, EVEN THOUGH I'M AMARRIED WOMAN, I'VE GOTTA FORGE
00:16:34.972 --> 00:16:36.541
MARRIED WOMAN, I'VE GOTTA FORGEOTHER FRIENDSHIPS.
00:16:36.541 --> 00:16:37.675
OTHER FRIENDSHIPS.AND SO, MY ENCOURAGEMENT TO YOU
00:16:37.675 --> 00:16:39.310
AND SO, MY ENCOURAGEMENT TO YOUIS: SOMETIMES OUR UNHAPPINESS
00:16:39.310 --> 00:16:40.778
IS: SOMETIMES OUR UNHAPPINESSIN MARRIAGE IS BECAUSE WE
00:16:40.778 --> 00:16:42.580
IN MARRIAGE IS BECAUSE WEEXPECT OUR SPOUSE TO BE OUR
00:16:42.580 --> 00:16:43.414
EXPECT OUR SPOUSE TO BE OURGIRLFRIEND.
00:16:43.414 --> 00:16:44.215
GIRLFRIEND.AND THEY ARE NOT.
00:16:44.215 --> 00:16:45.450
AND THEY ARE NOT.THEY ARE THEIR OWN PERSON.
00:16:45.450 --> 00:16:46.451
THEY ARE THEIR OWN PERSON.THEY HAVE THEIR OWN LIFE.
00:16:46.451 --> 00:16:49.087
THEY HAVE THEIR OWN LIFE.AND MY JOB, AS A HEALTHY
00:16:49.087 --> 00:16:51.222
AND MY JOB, AS A HEALTHYSPIRITUAL ADULT, IS TO FIND
00:16:51.222 --> 00:16:53.124
SPIRITUAL ADULT, IS TO FINDWHAT NEEDS I HAVE AND TO FIGURE
00:16:53.124 --> 00:16:54.792
WHAT NEEDS I HAVE AND TO FIGUREOUT HOW TO GET THOSE NEEDS MET
00:16:54.792 --> 00:16:56.661
OUT HOW TO GET THOSE NEEDS METIN A HEALTHY WAY.
00:16:56.661 --> 00:16:57.562
IN A HEALTHY WAY.THAT'S MY NUMBER-ONE JOB AND
00:16:57.562 --> 00:16:58.396
THAT'S MY NUMBER-ONE JOB ANDRESPONSIBILITY.
00:16:58.396 --> 00:17:00.398
RESPONSIBILITY.I OWN THIS, WHICH MEANS I'M
00:17:00.398 --> 00:17:01.899
I OWN THIS, WHICH MEANS I'MRESPONSIBLE FOR THIS, WHICH
00:17:01.899 --> 00:17:03.501
RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS, WHICHMAKES ME UNDERSTAND I GOTTA GO
00:17:03.501 --> 00:17:04.435
MAKES ME UNDERSTAND I GOTTA GOOUT AND LOOK FOR IT.
00:17:04.435 --> 00:17:05.703
OUT AND LOOK FOR IT.- JANICE: THAT'S SUCH A GOOD
00:17:05.703 --> 00:17:06.537
- JANICE: THAT'S SUCH A GOODWORD, HAVILAH, BECAUSE, I THINK
00:17:06.537 --> 00:17:08.840
WORD, HAVILAH, BECAUSE, I THINKYOU DON'T REALIZE, UNTIL YOU
00:17:08.840 --> 00:17:10.608
YOU DON'T REALIZE, UNTIL YOUSTART TO GET OVERWHELMED, THAT
00:17:10.608 --> 00:17:13.077
START TO GET OVERWHELMED, THATNOT ONLY DO YOU HAVE PERMISSION
00:17:13.077 --> 00:17:14.979
NOT ONLY DO YOU HAVE PERMISSIONTO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOUR NEEDS
00:17:14.979 --> 00:17:16.047
TO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOUR NEEDSARE AND MAKE SURE THEY'RE MET,
00:17:16.047 --> 00:17:16.781
ARE AND MAKE SURE THEY'RE MET,BUT, PLEASE DO.
00:17:16.781 --> 00:17:17.915
BUT, PLEASE DO.BECAUSE, EVERYBODY IS DEPENDING
00:17:17.915 --> 00:17:20.151
BECAUSE, EVERYBODY IS DEPENDINGON THAT.
00:17:20.151 --> 00:17:21.853
ON THAT.AND I HAVE FOUND THAT, IF I LET
00:17:21.853 --> 00:17:22.720
AND I HAVE FOUND THAT, IF I LETTHE LORD BUILD MY COMMUNITY,
00:17:22.720 --> 00:17:25.990
THE LORD BUILD MY COMMUNITY,IT'S GONNA BE FILLED WITH LOTS
00:17:25.990 --> 00:17:27.959
IT'S GONNA BE FILLED WITH LOTSOF DIFFERENT TYPES OF PEOPLE.
00:17:27.959 --> 00:17:29.827
OF DIFFERENT TYPES OF PEOPLE.BECAUSE THE LORD SURROUNDED
00:17:29.827 --> 00:17:32.096
BECAUSE THE LORD SURROUNDEDHIMSELF, EVEN, WITH LOTS OF
00:17:32.096 --> 00:17:33.397
HIMSELF, EVEN, WITH LOTS OFDIFFERENT TYPES OF PEOPLE.
00:17:33.397 --> 00:17:35.433
DIFFERENT TYPES OF PEOPLE.AND SO, THERE ARE GONNA BE
00:17:35.433 --> 00:17:36.267
AND SO, THERE ARE GONNA BESINGLE PEOPLE, THERE ARE GONNA
00:17:36.267 --> 00:17:37.902
SINGLE PEOPLE, THERE ARE GONNABE MARRIED PEOPLE, AS FAR AS,
00:17:37.902 --> 00:17:39.237
BE MARRIED PEOPLE, AS FAR AS,YOU KNOW: CAN A MARRIED WOMAN
00:17:39.237 --> 00:17:40.204
YOU KNOW: CAN A MARRIED WOMANHAVE A SINGLE FEMALE
00:17:40.204 --> 00:17:40.838
HAVE A SINGLE FEMALEFRIENDSHIP?
00:17:40.838 --> 00:17:42.140
FRIENDSHIP?IT'S LIKE: WELL, YEAH!
00:17:42.140 --> 00:17:44.475
IT'S LIKE: WELL, YEAH!ABSOLUTELY.
00:17:44.475 --> 00:17:45.443
ABSOLUTELY.WHAT I WOULD ASK IS THAT YOU
00:17:45.443 --> 00:17:46.210
WHAT I WOULD ASK IS THAT YOUHONOR THE SEASON I'M IN AND I'M
00:17:46.210 --> 00:17:46.944
HONOR THE SEASON I'M IN AND I'MGONNA HONOR THE SEASON THAT
00:17:46.944 --> 00:17:48.646
GONNA HONOR THE SEASON THATYOU'RE IN.
00:17:48.646 --> 00:17:49.480
YOU'RE IN.YOU KNOW?
00:17:49.480 --> 00:17:52.250
YOU KNOW?- HAVILAH: SO TRUE.
00:17:52.250 --> 00:17:52.917
- HAVILAH: SO TRUE.- JANICE: THAT WILL...COVER IT
00:17:52.917 --> 00:17:53.684
- JANICE: THAT WILL...COVER IT-- THE KINDS OF CONVERSATIONS
00:17:53.684 --> 00:17:54.185
-- THE KINDS OF CONVERSATIONSTHAT WE'RE GONNA HAVE.
00:17:54.185 --> 00:17:54.886
THAT WE'RE GONNA HAVE.YOU KNOW, LIKE, THERE'S CERTAIN
00:17:54.886 --> 00:17:55.786
YOU KNOW, LIKE, THERE'S CERTAINTHINGS I'M NOT GONNA TALK TO
00:17:55.786 --> 00:17:56.954
THINGS I'M NOT GONNA TALK TODISA ABOUT, BECAUSE SHE WANTS
00:17:56.954 --> 00:17:58.322
DISA ABOUT, BECAUSE SHE WANTSTO BE MARRIED, AND THAT'S JUST
00:17:58.322 --> 00:18:00.124
TO BE MARRIED, AND THAT'S JUSTGONNA MAKE IT HARD WHEN SHE'S
00:18:00.124 --> 00:18:01.392
GONNA MAKE IT HARD WHEN SHE'SFEELING, AS SHE CALLS IT, SUPER
00:18:01.392 --> 00:18:02.827
FEELING, AS SHE CALLS IT, SUPERSINGLE.
00:18:02.827 --> 00:18:03.427
SINGLE.- MANDISA: YEAH!
00:18:03.427 --> 00:18:03.995
- MANDISA: YEAH![LAUGHTER]
00:18:03.995 --> 00:18:04.595
[LAUGHTER]- JANICE: YOU KNOW WHAT I'M
00:18:04.595 --> 00:18:04.962
- JANICE: YOU KNOW WHAT I'MSAYIN'?
00:18:04.962 --> 00:18:05.696
SAYIN'?AND SO, I'M HONORING THE SEASON
00:18:05.696 --> 00:18:07.131
AND SO, I'M HONORING THE SEASONTHAT SHE'S IN, AND LIKEWISE.
00:18:07.131 --> 00:18:09.100
THAT SHE'S IN, AND LIKEWISE.BUT I DO THINK THE LORD BUILDS
00:18:09.100 --> 00:18:10.601
BUT I DO THINK THE LORD BUILDSOUR COMMUNITY WITH SO MANY
00:18:10.601 --> 00:18:12.036
OUR COMMUNITY WITH SO MANYDIFFERENT TYPES OF PEOPLE.
00:18:12.036 --> 00:18:13.471
DIFFERENT TYPES OF PEOPLE.BECAUSE THERE'S SO MUCH TO
00:18:13.471 --> 00:18:15.306
BECAUSE THERE'S SO MUCH TOLEARN FROM DIFFERENT TYPES OF
00:18:15.306 --> 00:18:16.240
LEARN FROM DIFFERENT TYPES OFPEOPLE, SO MUCH TO GAIN FROM
00:18:16.240 --> 00:18:18.509
PEOPLE, SO MUCH TO GAIN FROMTHEM.
00:18:18.509 --> 00:18:19.110
THEM.AND I THINK, YOU KNOW, THERE
00:18:19.110 --> 00:18:20.311
AND I THINK, YOU KNOW, THEREARE DAYS MY HUSBAND IS LIKE,
00:18:20.311 --> 00:18:22.079
ARE DAYS MY HUSBAND IS LIKE,"NO. LIKE, FOR REAL, GO TALK TO
00:18:22.079 --> 00:18:23.247
"NO. LIKE, FOR REAL, GO TALK TOMELINDA," BECAUSE...
00:18:23.247 --> 00:18:26.684
MELINDA," BECAUSE...[ALL LAUGHING]
00:18:26.684 --> 00:18:27.752
[ALL LAUGHING]HE'S LIKE-- HE TRUSTS HER AND
00:18:27.752 --> 00:18:28.419
HE'S LIKE-- HE TRUSTS HER ANDHE'S LIKE: "SHE'S GON' HELP YOU
00:18:28.419 --> 00:18:30.121
HE'S LIKE: "SHE'S GON' HELP YOUGET YOURSELF TOGETHER, RIGHT
00:18:30.121 --> 00:18:31.022
GET YOURSELF TOGETHER, RIGHTNOW.
00:18:31.022 --> 00:18:32.156
NOW.YOU SPAZZING OUT.
00:18:32.156 --> 00:18:33.491
YOU SPAZZING OUT.GO RELAX."
00:18:33.491 --> 00:18:35.960
GO RELAX."[LAUGHTER]
00:18:35.960 --> 00:18:37.495
[LAUGHTER]AND IT MEANS I COME BACK AND I
00:18:37.495 --> 00:18:38.496
AND IT MEANS I COME BACK AND IGET TO BE A BETTER WIFE BECAUSE
00:18:38.496 --> 00:18:41.199
GET TO BE A BETTER WIFE BECAUSEI'VE SAT WITH SOMEBODY WHO
00:18:41.199 --> 00:18:41.799
I'VE SAT WITH SOMEBODY WHOKNOWS ME AND WHO'S GOING TO
00:18:41.799 --> 00:18:43.067
KNOWS ME AND WHO'S GOING TOTELL ME THE TRUTH IN A VERY
00:18:43.067 --> 00:18:46.037
TELL ME THE TRUTH IN A VERYKIND AND MATTER-OF-FACT WAY.
00:18:46.037 --> 00:18:47.572
KIND AND MATTER-OF-FACT WAY.AND SHE'S GONNA SMILE AFTER,
00:18:47.572 --> 00:18:48.539
AND SHE'S GONNA SMILE AFTER,AND IT'S GONNA BE GRACIOUS, AND
00:18:48.539 --> 00:18:50.174
AND IT'S GONNA BE GRACIOUS, ANDI'M GONNA HEAR THE TRUTH.
00:18:50.174 --> 00:18:51.242
I'M GONNA HEAR THE TRUTH.AND SO, YES, WE'RE GONNA HAVE
00:18:51.242 --> 00:18:52.109
AND SO, YES, WE'RE GONNA HAVETO BE IN COMMUNITY WITH ONE
00:18:52.109 --> 00:18:52.910
TO BE IN COMMUNITY WITH ONEANOTHER, BECAUSE I THINK THAT'S
00:18:52.910 --> 00:18:54.845
ANOTHER, BECAUSE I THINK THAT'SHEALTHY.
00:18:54.845 --> 00:18:56.814
HEALTHY.WE JUST PUT THE BOUNDARIES IN
00:18:56.814 --> 00:18:57.748
WE JUST PUT THE BOUNDARIES INPLACE SO THAT WE HONOR ONE
00:18:57.748 --> 00:18:58.950
PLACE SO THAT WE HONOR ONEANOTHER'S SEASONS.
00:18:58.950 --> 00:19:00.418
ANOTHER'S SEASONS.BUT WE DEFINITELY NEED TO MAKE
00:19:00.418 --> 00:19:01.953
BUT WE DEFINITELY NEED TO MAKESURE THAT WE'RE INCLUDING
00:19:01.953 --> 00:19:03.254
SURE THAT WE'RE INCLUDINGDIFFERENT TYPES OF PEOPLE IN
00:19:03.254 --> 00:19:04.922
DIFFERENT TYPES OF PEOPLE INOUR COMMUNITIES, FOR SURE.
00:19:04.922 --> 00:19:06.257
OUR COMMUNITIES, FOR SURE.- MANDISA: WELL, IT'S FUNNY.
00:19:06.257 --> 00:19:07.325
- MANDISA: WELL, IT'S FUNNY.I'M THINKING ABOUT: YEAH,
00:19:07.325 --> 00:19:09.327
I'M THINKING ABOUT: YEAH,YOU'RE GONNA GET THE TRUTH FROM
00:19:09.327 --> 00:19:09.827
YOU'RE GONNA GET THE TRUTH FROMMELINDA.
00:19:09.827 --> 00:19:10.795
MELINDA.AND SHE'S GONNA-- IF IT'S A
00:19:10.795 --> 00:19:11.395
AND SHE'S GONNA-- IF IT'S AHARD TRUTH, SHE'S GONNA GIVE
00:19:11.395 --> 00:19:12.463
HARD TRUTH, SHE'S GONNA GIVEYOU THREE NICE THINGS BEFORE
00:19:12.463 --> 00:19:13.464
YOU THREE NICE THINGS BEFORESHE TELLS YOU THE HARD TRUTH.
00:19:13.464 --> 00:19:15.032
SHE TELLS YOU THE HARD TRUTH.- JANICE: EXACTLY.
00:19:15.032 --> 00:19:16.334
- JANICE: EXACTLY.- MANDISA: BECAUSE...THAT'S
00:19:16.334 --> 00:19:17.468
- MANDISA: BECAUSE...THAT'SWHAT SHE DOES.
00:19:17.468 --> 00:19:18.603
WHAT SHE DOES.AND IF YOU'VE NOT HEARD
00:19:18.603 --> 00:19:19.303
AND IF YOU'VE NOT HEARDMELINDA'S "3 NICE THINGS"
00:19:19.303 --> 00:19:20.171
MELINDA'S "3 NICE THINGS"PODCAST, CHECK IT OUT.
00:19:20.171 --> 00:19:21.205
PODCAST, CHECK IT OUT.IT'S AVAILABLE NOW.
00:19:21.205 --> 00:19:22.273
IT'S AVAILABLE NOW.- JANICE: YES.
00:19:22.273 --> 00:19:23.274
- JANICE: YES.[LAUGHTER]
00:19:23.274 --> 00:19:23.841
[LAUGHTER]- MANDISA: UM...BUT, I'M
00:19:23.841 --> 00:19:27.812
- MANDISA: UM...BUT, I'MTHINKING ABOUT, UM, I HAVE THIS
00:19:27.812 --> 00:19:28.479
THINKING ABOUT, UM, I HAVE THISTALK SHOW THAT I DID ON YOUTUBE
00:19:28.479 --> 00:19:29.447
TALK SHOW THAT I DID ON YOUTUBECALLED "WHAT IF WE WERE REAL?"
00:19:29.447 --> 00:19:30.214
CALLED "WHAT IF WE WERE REAL?"AND, WE TALKED ALL ABOUT
00:19:30.214 --> 00:19:31.682
AND, WE TALKED ALL ABOUTRELATIONSHIPS.
00:19:31.682 --> 00:19:33.317
RELATIONSHIPS.WE TALKED ABOUT SINGLENESS.
00:19:33.317 --> 00:19:34.452
WE TALKED ABOUT SINGLENESS.AND I HAD THREE DIFFERENT
00:19:34.452 --> 00:19:34.885
AND I HAD THREE DIFFERENTPANELS.
00:19:34.885 --> 00:19:35.519
PANELS.THE FIRST PANEL WAS ALL GUYS.
00:19:35.519 --> 00:19:39.290
THE FIRST PANEL WAS ALL GUYS.MOST OF THEM WERE...SINGLE.
00:19:39.290 --> 00:19:40.124
MOST OF THEM WERE...SINGLE.UM, WE HAD A COUPLE THAT WERE
00:19:40.124 --> 00:19:42.059
UM, WE HAD A COUPLE THAT WEREMARRIED.
00:19:42.059 --> 00:19:43.694
MARRIED.AND THEN, I HAD A PANEL THAT
00:19:43.694 --> 00:19:44.128
AND THEN, I HAD A PANEL THATWAS CO-ED.
00:19:44.128 --> 00:19:44.929
WAS CO-ED.SOME WERE MARRIED; SOME WERE
00:19:44.929 --> 00:19:45.696
SOME WERE MARRIED; SOME WERESINGLE MEN AND WOMEN.
00:19:45.696 --> 00:19:46.998
SINGLE MEN AND WOMEN.AND THEN, I HAD A PANEL OF ALL
00:19:46.998 --> 00:19:49.300
AND THEN, I HAD A PANEL OF ALLSINGLE LADIES.
00:19:49.300 --> 00:19:50.401
SINGLE LADIES.AND I FOUND MYSELF, WHEN I GOT
00:19:50.401 --> 00:19:52.036
AND I FOUND MYSELF, WHEN I GOTTO THE LAST PANEL WHERE I WAS
00:19:52.036 --> 00:19:53.237
TO THE LAST PANEL WHERE I WASWITH ALL MY SINGLE GIRLS --
00:19:53.237 --> 00:19:54.438
WITH ALL MY SINGLE GIRLS --'CAUSE I'M A GIRLS' GIRL -- I
00:19:54.438 --> 00:19:55.840
'CAUSE I'M A GIRLS' GIRL -- IFELT LIKE I COULD TRULY JUST
00:19:55.840 --> 00:19:57.975
FELT LIKE I COULD TRULY JUSTGO...
00:19:57.975 --> 00:19:59.143
GO...[DRAMATIC, RELIEVED EXHALATION]
00:19:59.143 --> 00:19:59.744
[DRAMATIC, RELIEVED EXHALATION]...AND I COULD SAY ANYTHING
00:19:59.744 --> 00:20:01.646
...AND I COULD SAY ANYTHINGTHAT I WANTED TO.
00:20:01.646 --> 00:20:02.980
THAT I WANTED TO.BUT HERE'S WHAT I REALIZED IS
00:20:02.980 --> 00:20:04.482
BUT HERE'S WHAT I REALIZED ISTHAT IN-- YOU KNOW WHAT,
00:20:04.482 --> 00:20:04.882
THAT IN-- YOU KNOW WHAT,JANICE?
00:20:04.882 --> 00:20:05.950
JANICE?YOUR BROTHER WAS IN ONE OF
00:20:05.950 --> 00:20:07.918
YOUR BROTHER WAS IN ONE OFTHOSE PANELS.
00:20:07.918 --> 00:20:08.686
THOSE PANELS.- JANICE: HE SURE WAS.
00:20:08.686 --> 00:20:09.353
- JANICE: HE SURE WAS.GO, JON!
00:20:09.353 --> 00:20:09.820
GO, JON!- MANDISA: YEAH!
00:20:09.820 --> 00:20:10.888
- MANDISA: YEAH!I WAS THINKING ABOUT HOW MY
00:20:10.888 --> 00:20:13.457
I WAS THINKING ABOUT HOW MYCONVERSATIONS WITH MY SINGLE
00:20:13.457 --> 00:20:15.059
CONVERSATIONS WITH MY SINGLEFRIENDS ARE VERY DIFFERENT THAN
00:20:15.059 --> 00:20:16.894
FRIENDS ARE VERY DIFFERENT THANMY CONVERSATIONS WITH MY MALE
00:20:16.894 --> 00:20:19.463
MY CONVERSATIONS WITH MY MALEFRIENDS THAT ARE SINGLE.
00:20:19.463 --> 00:20:21.432
FRIENDS THAT ARE SINGLE.AND THOSE CONVERSATIONS ARE
00:20:21.432 --> 00:20:22.233
AND THOSE CONVERSATIONS AREDIFFERENT THAN MY GUY FRIENDS
00:20:22.233 --> 00:20:23.868
DIFFERENT THAN MY GUY FRIENDSTHAT ARE MARRIED.
00:20:23.868 --> 00:20:25.369
THAT ARE MARRIED.AND SO, I'M WONDERING -- MAYBE
00:20:25.369 --> 00:20:26.771
AND SO, I'M WONDERING -- MAYBETHIS IS A QUESTION FOR THE
00:20:26.771 --> 00:20:27.738
THIS IS A QUESTION FOR THEMARRIED PEOPLE -- AS A SINGLE
00:20:27.738 --> 00:20:30.841
MARRIED PEOPLE -- AS A SINGLEWOMAN, I KNOW THAT I PROBABLY
00:20:30.841 --> 00:20:32.176
WOMAN, I KNOW THAT I PROBABLYCAN'T TALK ABOUT THE SAME KINDS
00:20:32.176 --> 00:20:33.177
CAN'T TALK ABOUT THE SAME KINDSOF THINGS THAT I WOULD WITH
00:20:33.177 --> 00:20:34.378
OF THINGS THAT I WOULD WITHMELINDA AND JANICE THAT I WOULD
00:20:34.378 --> 00:20:36.614
MELINDA AND JANICE THAT I WOULDWITH JANICE'S BROTHER, JON.
00:20:36.614 --> 00:20:37.982
WITH JANICE'S BROTHER, JON.IS THERE A DIFFERENCE-- SO,
00:20:37.982 --> 00:20:39.517
IS THERE A DIFFERENCE-- SO,WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HAVING A
00:20:39.517 --> 00:20:40.985
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HAVING AVARIETY OF FRIENDSHIPS.
00:20:40.985 --> 00:20:42.787
VARIETY OF FRIENDSHIPS.IS THERE A DIFFERENCE -- WHEN
00:20:42.787 --> 00:20:44.488
IS THERE A DIFFERENCE -- WHENWOMEN ARE FRIENDS WITH MEN --
00:20:44.488 --> 00:20:45.823
WOMEN ARE FRIENDS WITH MEN --IS THERE A DIFFERENCE IF THAT
00:20:45.823 --> 00:20:47.658
IS THERE A DIFFERENCE IF THATMAN IS MARRIED OR SINGLE?
00:20:47.658 --> 00:20:49.160
MAN IS MARRIED OR SINGLE?LIKE, DO WE HAVE TO BE CAREFUL
00:20:49.160 --> 00:20:51.495
LIKE, DO WE HAVE TO BE CAREFULIN OUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH MEN?
00:20:51.495 --> 00:20:52.863
IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH MEN?I KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS.
00:20:52.863 --> 00:20:54.732
I KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS.BUT, I'M WONDERING: AS MARRIED
00:20:54.732 --> 00:20:56.567
BUT, I'M WONDERING: AS MARRIEDWOMEN, DO YOUR HUSBANDS HAVE
00:20:56.567 --> 00:20:58.102
WOMEN, DO YOUR HUSBANDS HAVEFRIENDSHIPS WITH WOMEN THAT ARE
00:20:58.102 --> 00:20:59.970
FRIENDSHIPS WITH WOMEN THAT ARESINGLE?
00:20:59.970 --> 00:21:00.571
SINGLE?AND: DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL
00:21:00.571 --> 00:21:01.672
AND: DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEELSOME TYPE OF WAY?
00:21:01.672 --> 00:21:02.139
SOME TYPE OF WAY?I DON'T KNOW.
00:21:02.139 --> 00:21:03.441
I DON'T KNOW.I'M JUST GONNA POPCORN THAT
00:21:03.441 --> 00:21:04.442
I'M JUST GONNA POPCORN THATQUESTION TO ANY OF MY MARRIED
00:21:04.442 --> 00:21:05.076
QUESTION TO ANY OF MY MARRIEDFRIENDS ON HERE THAT WANNA
00:21:05.076 --> 00:21:06.410
FRIENDS ON HERE THAT WANNAANSWER.
00:21:06.410 --> 00:21:07.878
ANSWER.- HAVILAH: GREAT QUESTION.
00:21:07.878 --> 00:21:09.847
- HAVILAH: GREAT QUESTION.- DR. ROBYN: I WILL ANSWER,
00:21:09.847 --> 00:21:10.448
- DR. ROBYN: I WILL ANSWER,AND THE ANSWER IS ABSOLUTELY
00:21:10.448 --> 00:21:10.948
AND THE ANSWER IS ABSOLUTELYYES.
00:21:10.948 --> 00:21:11.849
YES.BECAUSE, UH, LIKE I SAID, I'M
00:21:11.849 --> 00:21:14.051
BECAUSE, UH, LIKE I SAID, I'MTHE MOM OF FOUR SONS.
00:21:14.051 --> 00:21:15.486
THE MOM OF FOUR SONS.AND, LIKE I'D SAID, THEY'RE ALL
00:21:15.486 --> 00:21:15.986
AND, LIKE I'D SAID, THEY'RE ALLPASTORS.
00:21:15.986 --> 00:21:18.489
PASTORS.AND MY HUSBAND -- HE WOULD
00:21:18.489 --> 00:21:20.358
AND MY HUSBAND -- HE WOULDADAMANTLY SAY: ABSOLUTELY YES.
00:21:20.358 --> 00:21:24.595
ADAMANTLY SAY: ABSOLUTELY YES.BECAUSE, UH, THERE IS CLEARLY
00:21:24.595 --> 00:21:27.732
BECAUSE, UH, THERE IS CLEARLYBOUNDARIES THAT MARRIED MEN
00:21:27.732 --> 00:21:30.434
BOUNDARIES THAT MARRIED MENNEED TO ESTABLISH WITH SINGLE
00:21:30.434 --> 00:21:31.869
NEED TO ESTABLISH WITH SINGLEWOMEN, ESPECIALLY CO-WORKERS.
00:21:31.869 --> 00:21:34.672
WOMEN, ESPECIALLY CO-WORKERS.AND WHAT HAPPENS, I THINK, IN
00:21:34.672 --> 00:21:35.840
AND WHAT HAPPENS, I THINK, INTHE WORKPLACE, ESPECIALLY, IS
00:21:35.840 --> 00:21:38.376
THE WORKPLACE, ESPECIALLY, ISTHAT WHEN PEOPLE ARE ON A TEAM,
00:21:38.376 --> 00:21:42.279
THAT WHEN PEOPLE ARE ON A TEAM,THERE COMES AN INTIMACY WHEN
00:21:42.279 --> 00:21:43.381
THERE COMES AN INTIMACY WHENPEOPLE ARE WORKING TOWARDS A
00:21:43.381 --> 00:21:46.584
PEOPLE ARE WORKING TOWARDS AGOAL, TOGETHER.
00:21:46.584 --> 00:21:47.551
GOAL, TOGETHER.AND I THINK THAT WE, AS
00:21:47.551 --> 00:21:48.786
AND I THINK THAT WE, ASCHRISTIAN WOMEN -- MARRIED AND
00:21:48.786 --> 00:21:49.754
CHRISTIAN WOMEN -- MARRIED ANDSINGLE, BECAUSE I THINK EVEN
00:21:49.754 --> 00:21:52.123
SINGLE, BECAUSE I THINK EVENMARRIED WOMEN IN THE WORKPLACE,
00:21:52.123 --> 00:21:53.324
MARRIED WOMEN IN THE WORKPLACE,ESPECIALLY, NEED TO BE
00:21:53.324 --> 00:21:55.159
ESPECIALLY, NEED TO BEPARTICULARLY ON GUARD THAT WE
00:21:55.159 --> 00:21:58.329
PARTICULARLY ON GUARD THAT WEARE AWARE THAT WE PUT A
00:21:58.329 --> 00:21:59.663
ARE AWARE THAT WE PUT ABOUNDARY AND WE SAY: I
00:21:59.663 --> 00:22:01.732
BOUNDARY AND WE SAY: ISHOULDN'T BE TALKING ABOUT TOO
00:22:01.732 --> 00:22:04.402
SHOULDN'T BE TALKING ABOUT TOOMANY MATTERS OF THE HEART.
00:22:04.402 --> 00:22:06.237
MANY MATTERS OF THE HEART.MATTERS OF THE HEART NEED TO BE
00:22:06.237 --> 00:22:09.707
MATTERS OF THE HEART NEED TO BEAT HOME WITH OTHER
00:22:09.707 --> 00:22:10.608
AT HOME WITH OTHERRELATIONSHIPS NOT IN THE
00:22:10.608 --> 00:22:11.475
RELATIONSHIPS NOT IN THEWORKPLACE.
00:22:11.475 --> 00:22:12.510
WORKPLACE.SO, THERE'S A LOT TO TALK
00:22:12.510 --> 00:22:13.477
SO, THERE'S A LOT TO TALKABOUT!
00:22:13.477 --> 00:22:14.779
ABOUT!WE CAN HAVE A WHOLE...UH,
00:22:14.779 --> 00:22:17.248
WE CAN HAVE A WHOLE...UH,CONVERSATION JUST ABOUT THOSE
00:22:17.248 --> 00:22:18.749
CONVERSATION JUST ABOUT THOSEKINDS OF RELATIONSHIPS.
00:22:18.749 --> 00:22:21.118
KINDS OF RELATIONSHIPS.AND, YES, THERE'S A LOT OF
00:22:21.118 --> 00:22:23.554
AND, YES, THERE'S A LOT OFDIFFERENCES BETWEEN HOW WE
00:22:23.554 --> 00:22:25.689
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN HOW WERELATE, MALE AND FEMALE, WHEN
00:22:25.689 --> 00:22:27.024
RELATE, MALE AND FEMALE, WHENPEOPLE ARE MARRIED VERSUS
00:22:27.024 --> 00:22:28.526
PEOPLE ARE MARRIED VERSUSSINGLE, SO.
00:22:28.526 --> 00:22:30.161
SINGLE, SO.I'M NOT SAYING YOU CAN'T BE
00:22:30.161 --> 00:22:31.529
I'M NOT SAYING YOU CAN'T BEFRIENDS; I'M SAYING THERE ARE
00:22:31.529 --> 00:22:34.198
FRIENDS; I'M SAYING THERE AREFRIENDSHIPS WITH BOUNDARIES.
00:22:34.198 --> 00:22:35.466
FRIENDSHIPS WITH BOUNDARIES.AND I'M SURE, MELINDA, YOU CAN
00:22:35.466 --> 00:22:37.067
AND I'M SURE, MELINDA, YOU CANTALK ALL ABOUT THAT.
00:22:37.067 --> 00:22:37.968
TALK ALL ABOUT THAT.- MELINDA: OH, YEAH, I LOVE A
00:22:37.968 --> 00:22:39.136
- MELINDA: OH, YEAH, I LOVE AGOOD BOUNDARY.
00:22:39.136 --> 00:22:43.607
GOOD BOUNDARY.LISTEN...
00:22:43.607 --> 00:22:44.942
LISTEN...[LAUGHTER]
00:22:44.942 --> 00:22:45.776
[LAUGHTER](LAUGHING) I THINK...I THINK
00:22:45.776 --> 00:22:47.044
(LAUGHING) I THINK...I THINKTHAT, YOU KNOW, ESPECIALLY,
00:22:47.044 --> 00:22:49.547
THAT, YOU KNOW, ESPECIALLY,LIKE, WITH MY FRIENDS WHO ARE
00:22:49.547 --> 00:22:50.881
LIKE, WITH MY FRIENDS WHO AREMARRIED, IF I NEED TO TEXT A
00:22:50.881 --> 00:22:51.782
MARRIED, IF I NEED TO TEXT AMARRIED MAN, LIKE I'M...IN A
00:22:51.782 --> 00:22:52.450
MARRIED MAN, LIKE I'M...IN AGROUP TEXT WITH HE AND HIS
00:22:52.450 --> 00:22:53.884
GROUP TEXT WITH HE AND HISWIFE.
00:22:53.884 --> 00:22:55.352
WIFE.LIKE, I LEARNED JUST...KIND OF
00:22:55.352 --> 00:22:57.621
LIKE, I LEARNED JUST...KIND OFWAYS THAT JUST MAKE ALL OF US
00:22:57.621 --> 00:23:00.124
WAYS THAT JUST MAKE ALL OF USCOMFORTABLE.
00:23:00.124 --> 00:23:01.625
COMFORTABLE.AND I THINK THAT GOD GIVES US
00:23:01.625 --> 00:23:03.394
AND I THINK THAT GOD GIVES USWISDOM, FOR THINGS LIKE THAT.
00:23:03.394 --> 00:23:06.163
WISDOM, FOR THINGS LIKE THAT.AND JUST KIND OF SHOWS US HOW
00:23:06.163 --> 00:23:07.097
AND JUST KIND OF SHOWS US HOWWE SHOULD HANDLE THESE
00:23:07.097 --> 00:23:08.666
WE SHOULD HANDLE THESESITUATIONS.
00:23:08.666 --> 00:23:10.201
SITUATIONS.BECAUSE HE DOES WANT US IN
00:23:10.201 --> 00:23:11.101
BECAUSE HE DOES WANT US INCOMMUNITY, BUT HE WANTS US IN
00:23:11.101 --> 00:23:12.203
COMMUNITY, BUT HE WANTS US INCOMMUNITY IN A BEAUTIFUL WAY
00:23:12.203 --> 00:23:14.104
COMMUNITY IN A BEAUTIFUL WAYAND IN A HEALTHY WAY FOR
00:23:14.104 --> 00:23:16.207
AND IN A HEALTHY WAY FOREVERYONE INVOLVED.
00:23:16.207 --> 00:23:18.075
EVERYONE INVOLVED.AND SO, I DEFINITELY LOOK TO
00:23:18.075 --> 00:23:21.011
AND SO, I DEFINITELY LOOK TOHIM FOR HOW TO HAVE
00:23:21.011 --> 00:23:23.214
HIM FOR HOW TO HAVERELATIONSHIPS WITH PEOPLE.
00:23:23.214 --> 00:23:24.615
RELATIONSHIPS WITH PEOPLE.WHETHER THEY'RE SINGLE OR
00:23:24.615 --> 00:23:25.950
WHETHER THEY'RE SINGLE ORMARRIED, I WANT IT TO BE A
00:23:25.950 --> 00:23:27.017
MARRIED, I WANT IT TO BE AKINGDOM RELATIONSHIP.
00:23:27.017 --> 00:23:29.687
KINGDOM RELATIONSHIP.I WANT IT TO BE SOMETHING THAT
00:23:29.687 --> 00:23:30.988
I WANT IT TO BE SOMETHING THATREALLY BENEFITS ALL OF US
00:23:30.988 --> 00:23:32.556
REALLY BENEFITS ALL OF USINVOLVED IN IT.
00:23:32.556 --> 00:23:34.358
INVOLVED IN IT.AND SO, I AM DEFINITELY CAREFUL
00:23:34.358 --> 00:23:36.060
AND SO, I AM DEFINITELY CAREFULABOUT THAT -- FOR SURE, FOR
00:23:36.060 --> 00:23:37.761
ABOUT THAT -- FOR SURE, FORSURE.
00:23:37.761 --> 00:23:39.864
SURE.AND I WOULD LOVE TO JUST TAKE A
00:23:39.864 --> 00:23:41.599
AND I WOULD LOVE TO JUST TAKE AMINUTE AND TALK TO THE LADIES
00:23:41.599 --> 00:23:43.167
MINUTE AND TALK TO THE LADIESTHAT ARE WATCHING AND SAY:
00:23:43.167 --> 00:23:44.869
THAT ARE WATCHING AND SAY:SINGLE OR MARRIED, LIKE, WE SEE
00:23:44.869 --> 00:23:50.474
SINGLE OR MARRIED, LIKE, WE SEEYOU.
00:23:50.474 --> 00:23:51.141
YOU.AND GOD SEES YOU AND LOVES YOU,
00:23:51.141 --> 00:23:52.643
AND GOD SEES YOU AND LOVES YOU,WHEREVER YOU ARE IN LIFE.
00:23:52.643 --> 00:23:54.211
WHEREVER YOU ARE IN LIFE.AND I WOULD LOVE TO SAY A
00:23:54.211 --> 00:23:56.313
AND I WOULD LOVE TO SAY APRAYER FOR YOU AS YOU ARE GOING
00:23:56.313 --> 00:23:57.448
PRAYER FOR YOU AS YOU ARE GOINGTHROUGH YOUR DAY AND GOING
00:23:57.448 --> 00:23:59.016
THROUGH YOUR DAY AND GOINGTHROUGH, UM, FINDING COMMUNITY
00:23:59.016 --> 00:24:00.518
THROUGH, UM, FINDING COMMUNITYAND FINDING WHAT THAT LOOKS
00:24:00.518 --> 00:24:02.052
AND FINDING WHAT THAT LOOKSLIKE.
00:24:02.052 --> 00:24:03.487
LIKE.BECAUSE GOD HAS PROVIDED THE
00:24:03.487 --> 00:24:04.922
BECAUSE GOD HAS PROVIDED THERIGHT PEOPLE FOR YOU.
00:24:04.922 --> 00:24:06.590
RIGHT PEOPLE FOR YOU.SO, LORD, WE JUST THANK YOU FOR
00:24:06.590 --> 00:24:08.325
SO, LORD, WE JUST THANK YOU FOREVERY WOMAN WATCHING, FOR
00:24:08.325 --> 00:24:10.694
EVERY WOMAN WATCHING, FOREVERYBODY LOOKING AT THIS,
00:24:10.694 --> 00:24:12.029
EVERYBODY LOOKING AT THIS,SAYING: WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY?
00:24:12.029 --> 00:24:14.231
SAYING: WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY?OR: WHERE ARE THE PEOPLE THAT I
00:24:14.231 --> 00:24:15.866
OR: WHERE ARE THE PEOPLE THAT ISHOULD BE WITH?
00:24:15.866 --> 00:24:16.400
SHOULD BE WITH?HOW SHOULD I HAVE THIS
00:24:16.400 --> 00:24:17.134
HOW SHOULD I HAVE THISRELATIONSHIP?
00:24:17.134 --> 00:24:19.003
RELATIONSHIP?WE THANK YOU FOR YOUR WISDOM.
00:24:19.003 --> 00:24:20.905
WE THANK YOU FOR YOUR WISDOM.WE THANK YOU THAT YOU LOVE US
00:24:20.905 --> 00:24:22.940
WE THANK YOU THAT YOU LOVE USSO WELL AND THAT YOU CREATED US
00:24:22.940 --> 00:24:24.608
SO WELL AND THAT YOU CREATED USIN THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND
00:24:24.608 --> 00:24:26.677
IN THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ANDUNIQUE WAYS.
00:24:26.677 --> 00:24:27.811
UNIQUE WAYS.AND, LORD, HELP US LEAN INTO
00:24:27.811 --> 00:24:29.580
AND, LORD, HELP US LEAN INTOTHE UNIQUENESS THAT YOU'VE
00:24:29.580 --> 00:24:31.148
THE UNIQUENESS THAT YOU'VEGIVEN US.
00:24:31.148 --> 00:24:32.716
GIVEN US.HELP US LEARN TO CELEBRATE
00:24:32.716 --> 00:24:34.285
HELP US LEARN TO CELEBRATETHAT.
00:24:34.285 --> 00:24:35.719
THAT.HELP US LEARN TO SEE OURSELVES
00:24:35.719 --> 00:24:38.522
HELP US LEARN TO SEE OURSELVESTHE WAY YOU SEE US SO THAT WE
00:24:38.522 --> 00:24:40.491
THE WAY YOU SEE US SO THAT WECAN HAVE THE SAME LOVE FOR
00:24:40.491 --> 00:24:42.059
CAN HAVE THE SAME LOVE FOROURSELVES THAT YOU HAVE FOR US,
00:24:42.059 --> 00:24:43.661
OURSELVES THAT YOU HAVE FOR US,SO THAT WE CAN HAVE THE SAME
00:24:43.661 --> 00:24:45.262
SO THAT WE CAN HAVE THE SAMEGRACE FOR OURSELVES THAT YOU
00:24:45.262 --> 00:24:47.498
GRACE FOR OURSELVES THAT YOUHAVE FOR US, AND THAT WE CAN
00:24:47.498 --> 00:24:50.467
HAVE FOR US, AND THAT WE CANSHOW OURSELVES THE SAME MERCY
00:24:50.467 --> 00:24:52.303
SHOW OURSELVES THE SAME MERCYTHAT YOU SHOW US, DAY IN AND
00:24:52.303 --> 00:24:53.470
THAT YOU SHOW US, DAY IN ANDDAY OUT, LORD.
00:24:53.470 --> 00:24:54.939
DAY OUT, LORD.HELP US TO SEE OURSELVES AS YOU
00:24:54.939 --> 00:24:57.408
HELP US TO SEE OURSELVES AS YOUSEE US, AND THEN HELP US TO SEE
00:24:57.408 --> 00:24:59.009
SEE US, AND THEN HELP US TO SEEOTHERS AS YOU SEE THEM SO THAT
00:24:59.009 --> 00:25:01.178
OTHERS AS YOU SEE THEM SO THATWHEN WE CREATE COMMUNITY WITH
00:25:01.178 --> 00:25:02.580
WHEN WE CREATE COMMUNITY WITHTHEM, WE ARE CREATING SOMETHING
00:25:02.580 --> 00:25:03.581
THEM, WE ARE CREATING SOMETHINGBEAUTIFUL AND SOMETHING THAT
00:25:03.581 --> 00:25:06.750
BEAUTIFUL AND SOMETHING THATYOU HAVE ORDAINED.
00:25:06.750 --> 00:25:08.452
YOU HAVE ORDAINED.WE THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR GIVING
00:25:08.452 --> 00:25:10.754
WE THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR GIVINGUS A BLUEPRINT FOR HOW TO LIVE
00:25:10.754 --> 00:25:12.723
US A BLUEPRINT FOR HOW TO LIVELIFE, LORD.
00:25:12.723 --> 00:25:14.224
LIFE, LORD.WE THANK YOU THAT WE DON'T HAVE
00:25:14.224 --> 00:25:15.426
WE THANK YOU THAT WE DON'T HAVETO DO THIS ON OUR OWN, WHETHER
00:25:15.426 --> 00:25:16.660
TO DO THIS ON OUR OWN, WHETHERWE ARE SINGLE OR MARRIED.
00:25:16.660 --> 00:25:18.596
WE ARE SINGLE OR MARRIED.WE THANK YOU THAT WE HAVE YOU
00:25:18.596 --> 00:25:19.330
WE THANK YOU THAT WE HAVE YOUTO LEAN ON.
00:25:19.330 --> 00:25:22.366
TO LEAN ON.AND WE APPRECIATE EVERYTHING
00:25:22.366 --> 00:25:24.234
AND WE APPRECIATE EVERYTHINGTHAT YOU'VE DONE FOR US AND WE
00:25:24.234 --> 00:25:24.768
THAT YOU'VE DONE FOR US AND WEWON'T TAKE IT FOR GRANTED.
00:25:24.768 --> 00:25:26.537
WON'T TAKE IT FOR GRANTED.IN JESUS' NAME, WE PRAY...AMEN.
00:25:26.537 --> 00:25:31.775
IN JESUS' NAME, WE PRAY...AMEN.- ALL: AMEN.
00:25:31.775 --> 00:25:32.409
- ALL: AMEN.- LAURIE: CONNECT WITH US ON
00:25:32.409 --> 00:25:33.010
- LAURIE: CONNECT WITH US ONSOCIAL MEDIA AND LET US KNOW
00:25:33.010 --> 00:25:36.480
SOCIAL MEDIA AND LET US KNOWHOW OUR TEAM CAN PRAY FOR YOU.
00:25:36.480 --> 00:25:38.415
HOW OUR TEAM CAN PRAY FOR YOU.[MUSIC]
00:25:38.415 --> 00:25:39.216
[MUSIC]YOU CAN STREAM
00:25:39.216 --> 00:25:39.850
YOU CAN STREAM"BETTER TOGETHER" EPISODES ON
00:25:39.850 --> 00:25:40.751
"BETTER TOGETHER" EPISODES ONTHE GO.
00:25:40.751 --> 00:25:43.153
THE GO.DOWNLOAD THE TBN APP TO
00:25:43.153 --> 00:25:44.021
DOWNLOAD THE TBN APP TOWATCH ALL OF OUR LATEST
00:25:44.021 --> 00:25:48.192
WATCH ALL OF OUR LATESTCONVERSATIONS.
00:25:48.192 --> 00:25:49.193
CONVERSATIONS.[UPBEAT MUSIC]
00:25:49.193 --> 00:25:51.028
[UPBEAT MUSIC]NEXT TIME ON "BETTER TOGETHER":
00:25:51.028 --> 00:25:51.595
NEXT TIME ON "BETTER TOGETHER":- MANDISA: HERE'S WHAT I
00:25:51.595 --> 00:25:53.330
- MANDISA: HERE'S WHAT IREALIZED: THAT I CAN JUST
00:25:53.330 --> 00:25:54.932
REALIZED: THAT I CAN JUSTAIMLESSLY WALK IN A BUNCH OF
00:25:54.932 --> 00:25:55.899
AIMLESSLY WALK IN A BUNCH OFDIFFERENT DIRECTIONS.
00:25:55.899 --> 00:25:57.234
DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS.OR, I CAN REALLY CULTIVATE MY
00:25:57.234 --> 00:25:59.703
OR, I CAN REALLY CULTIVATE MYTIME WITH THE LORD, SAYING:
00:25:59.703 --> 00:26:00.871
TIME WITH THE LORD, SAYING:OKAY, WHAT DIRECTION DO YOU
00:26:00.871 --> 00:26:02.339
OKAY, WHAT DIRECTION DO YOUWANT ME TO WALK IN?
00:26:02.339 --> 00:26:03.307
WANT ME TO WALK IN?- LAURIE: WATCH
00:26:03.307 --> 00:26:04.408
- LAURIE: WATCH"BETTER TOGETHER" WEEKDAYS AND
00:26:04.408 --> 00:26:05.676
"BETTER TOGETHER" WEEKDAYS ANDTUESDAY NIGHTS, RIGHT HERE ON
00:26:05.676 --> 00:26:08.212

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Better Together LIVE | Episode 144

Better Together LIVE | Episode 144

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Menu Top

Better Together LIVE | Episode 144

Better Together LIVE | Episode 144

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