Better Together LIVE | Episode 144 | TBN

Better Together LIVE | Episode 144

Watch Better Together LIVE | Episode 144
November 12, 2020
26:09

Do friendships change when our relationship status changes? Married or single; we were created to live in community. | TBN Prayer Line: 714-731-1000

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Better Together LIVE | Episode 144

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  • - LAURIE CROUCH: IF YOU ARE
  • 00:00:02.681 --> 00:00:03.449
  • - LAURIE CROUCH: IF YOU ARESINGLE OR HAVE SINGLE FRIENDS,
  • 00:00:03.449 --> 00:00:06.452
  • SINGLE OR HAVE SINGLE FRIENDS,THIS CONVERSATION IS FOR YOU.
  • 00:00:06.452 --> 00:00:07.052
  • THIS CONVERSATION IS FOR YOU.WE WERE CREATED TO LIVE IN
  • 00:00:07.052 --> 00:00:08.287
  • WE WERE CREATED TO LIVE INCOMMUNITY AND TO LEARN FROM
  • 00:00:08.287 --> 00:00:09.755
  • COMMUNITY AND TO LEARN FROMEACH OTHER.
  • 00:00:09.755 --> 00:00:10.722
  • EACH OTHER.TODAY, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HOW
  • 00:00:10.722 --> 00:00:12.224
  • TODAY, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HOWTO NAVIGATE FRIENDSHIP AS LIFE
  • 00:00:12.224 --> 00:00:13.459
  • TO NAVIGATE FRIENDSHIP AS LIFECHANGES.
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  • CHANGES.COME ON -- JOIN US.
  • 00:00:17.463 --> 00:00:22.701
  • COME ON -- JOIN US.[MUSIC WITH VOCALIZING]
  • 00:00:22.701 --> 00:00:28.340
  • [MUSIC WITH VOCALIZING][MUSIC]
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  • [MUSIC][MUSIC]
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  • [MUSIC][OUTRO MUSIC]
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  • [OUTRO MUSIC]- MANDISA: YOU KNOW,
  • 00:00:42.588 --> 00:00:43.188
  • - MANDISA: YOU KNOW,THE LAST TIME THAT I WAS ON
  • 00:00:43.188 --> 00:00:44.089
  • THE LAST TIME THAT I WAS ON"BETTER TOGETHER," WE WERE
  • 00:00:44.089 --> 00:00:46.291
  • "BETTER TOGETHER," WE WERETALKING ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH.
  • 00:00:46.291 --> 00:00:48.360
  • TALKING ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH.AND...UM, I JUST REMEMBER BEING
  • 00:00:48.360 --> 00:00:51.997
  • AND...UM, I JUST REMEMBER BEINGIN A REALLY DIFFICULT SEASON,
  • 00:00:51.997 --> 00:00:53.365
  • IN A REALLY DIFFICULT SEASON,WHILE I WAS THERE.
  • 00:00:53.365 --> 00:00:54.533
  • WHILE I WAS THERE.I WAS ACTUALLY THERE WITH MY
  • 00:00:54.533 --> 00:00:56.235
  • I WAS ACTUALLY THERE WITH MYFRIEND NATALIE GRANT; AND MY
  • 00:00:56.235 --> 00:00:58.537
  • FRIEND NATALIE GRANT; AND MYPASTOR, ALEX SEELEY; AND THEN,
  • 00:00:58.537 --> 00:00:59.805
  • PASTOR, ALEX SEELEY; AND THEN,JAMIE GRACE, WHO IS A GREAT
  • 00:00:59.805 --> 00:01:01.039
  • JAMIE GRACE, WHO IS A GREATFRIEND OF YOURS, MELINDA.
  • 00:01:01.039 --> 00:01:02.841
  • FRIEND OF YOURS, MELINDA.UM, AND I JUST REMEMBERED
  • 00:01:02.841 --> 00:01:04.676
  • UM, AND I JUST REMEMBEREDFEELING SO DARK.
  • 00:01:04.676 --> 00:01:06.011
  • FEELING SO DARK.BECAUSE, HERE I AM, TALKING
  • 00:01:06.011 --> 00:01:06.545
  • BECAUSE, HERE I AM, TALKINGABOUT DEPRESSION, FEELING
  • 00:01:06.545 --> 00:01:07.846
  • ABOUT DEPRESSION, FEELINGDEPRESSED.
  • 00:01:07.846 --> 00:01:09.982
  • DEPRESSED.AND, WHEN I THINK ABOUT SOME OF
  • 00:01:09.982 --> 00:01:11.550
  • AND, WHEN I THINK ABOUT SOME OFTHE CHANGES THAT I MADE AFTER
  • 00:01:11.550 --> 00:01:12.985
  • THE CHANGES THAT I MADE AFTERTHAT CONVERSATION, ONE OF THE
  • 00:01:12.985 --> 00:01:15.821
  • THAT CONVERSATION, ONE OF THECHANGES THAT I MADE IS
  • 00:01:15.821 --> 00:01:16.622
  • CHANGES THAT I MADE ISTHAT I MOVED.
  • 00:01:16.622 --> 00:01:17.890
  • THAT I MOVED.I USED TO LIVE RIGHT OUTSIDE OF
  • 00:01:17.890 --> 00:01:19.291
  • I USED TO LIVE RIGHT OUTSIDE OFNASHVILLE, WHERE I WAS PRETTY
  • 00:01:19.291 --> 00:01:21.193
  • NASHVILLE, WHERE I WAS PRETTYMUCH BY MYSELF.
  • 00:01:21.193 --> 00:01:22.761
  • MUCH BY MYSELF.AND, AS A SUPER-DUPER-SINGLE
  • 00:01:22.761 --> 00:01:24.229
  • AND, AS A SUPER-DUPER-SINGLEWOMAN AND SOMEBODY WHO BATTLES
  • 00:01:24.229 --> 00:01:27.299
  • WOMAN AND SOMEBODY WHO BATTLESWITH DEPRESSION, I KNOW THAT,
  • 00:01:27.299 --> 00:01:28.600
  • WITH DEPRESSION, I KNOW THAT,FOR ME, SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME
  • 00:01:28.600 --> 00:01:32.004
  • FOR ME, SPENDING TOO MUCH TIMEBY MYSELF IS A TRIGGER.
  • 00:01:32.004 --> 00:01:33.605
  • BY MYSELF IS A TRIGGER.AND, AS SOMEBODY WHO IS-- I
  • 00:01:33.605 --> 00:01:35.107
  • AND, AS SOMEBODY WHO IS-- ICALL MYSELF AMBIVERT.
  • 00:01:35.107 --> 00:01:36.875
  • CALL MYSELF AMBIVERT.THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I'M AN
  • 00:01:36.875 --> 00:01:37.543
  • THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I'M ANINTROVERT AND I NEED SOME TIME,
  • 00:01:37.543 --> 00:01:38.277
  • INTROVERT AND I NEED SOME TIME,ALONE.
  • 00:01:38.277 --> 00:01:38.911
  • ALONE.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:01:38.911 --> 00:01:39.545
  • [LAUGHTER]AND THEN, THERE ARE SOME TIMES
  • 00:01:39.545 --> 00:01:40.312
  • AND THEN, THERE ARE SOME TIMESWHERE I HAVE GOT TO BE WITH
  • 00:01:40.312 --> 00:01:41.246
  • WHERE I HAVE GOT TO BE WITHPEOPLE.
  • 00:01:41.246 --> 00:01:42.581
  • PEOPLE.AND SO, FINDING THE BALANCE OF
  • 00:01:42.581 --> 00:01:44.149
  • AND SO, FINDING THE BALANCE OFTHAT -- I CAME TO UNDERSTAND,
  • 00:01:44.149 --> 00:01:45.584
  • THAT -- I CAME TO UNDERSTAND,FOR MY OWN MENTAL HEALTH -- WAS
  • 00:01:45.584 --> 00:01:46.351
  • FOR MY OWN MENTAL HEALTH -- WASVERY IMPORTANT.
  • 00:01:46.351 --> 00:01:48.954
  • VERY IMPORTANT.AND, IN FEBRUARY, I VISITED AN
  • 00:01:48.954 --> 00:01:50.522
  • AND, IN FEBRUARY, I VISITED ANAPARTMENT IN FRANKLIN,
  • 00:01:50.522 --> 00:01:51.924
  • APARTMENT IN FRANKLIN,TENNESSEE.
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  • TENNESSEE.AND, MELINDA, YOU WERE WITH ME.
  • 00:01:53.292 --> 00:01:56.028
  • AND, MELINDA, YOU WERE WITH ME.AND, I HAVE THIS PICTURE OF ME
  • 00:01:56.028 --> 00:01:58.430
  • AND, I HAVE THIS PICTURE OF MEAND THERE WERE FOUR OF MY
  • 00:01:58.430 --> 00:01:59.198
  • AND THERE WERE FOUR OF MYFRIENDS.
  • 00:01:59.198 --> 00:02:00.632
  • FRIENDS.AND THEN THE LEASING GUY
  • 00:02:00.632 --> 00:02:01.033
  • AND THEN THE LEASING GUYWAS THERE.
  • 00:02:01.033 --> 00:02:01.667
  • WAS THERE.HE'S KIND OF THE RANDOM GUY IN
  • 00:02:01.667 --> 00:02:03.602
  • HE'S KIND OF THE RANDOM GUY INTHE PICTURE, BUT...
  • 00:02:03.602 --> 00:02:04.036
  • THE PICTURE, BUT...[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:02:04.036 --> 00:02:04.703
  • [LAUGHTER]I LOOK BACK AT THAT PICTURE AND
  • 00:02:04.703 --> 00:02:06.772
  • I LOOK BACK AT THAT PICTURE ANDI THINK: GOD, LET ME NOT TAKE
  • 00:02:06.772 --> 00:02:07.940
  • I THINK: GOD, LET ME NOT TAKEFOR GRANTED THE MOST INCREDIBLE
  • 00:02:07.940 --> 00:02:11.643
  • FOR GRANTED THE MOST INCREDIBLEFRIENDS THAT I HAVE.
  • 00:02:11.643 --> 00:02:13.212
  • FRIENDS THAT I HAVE.AS A SINGLE WOMAN, I FIND MY
  • 00:02:13.212 --> 00:02:14.846
  • AS A SINGLE WOMAN, I FIND MYRELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHER PEOPLE
  • 00:02:14.846 --> 00:02:17.216
  • RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHER PEOPLE-- THAT IS SO IMPORTANT.
  • 00:02:17.216 --> 00:02:19.051
  • -- THAT IS SO IMPORTANT.AND AS A SINGLE WOMAN WHO
  • 00:02:19.051 --> 00:02:20.219
  • AND AS A SINGLE WOMAN WHOBATTLES WITH DEPRESSION, MY
  • 00:02:20.219 --> 00:02:22.254
  • BATTLES WITH DEPRESSION, MYRELATIONSHIPS WITH MY FRIENDS
  • 00:02:22.254 --> 00:02:24.590
  • RELATIONSHIPS WITH MY FRIENDSIS SO IMPORTANT.
  • 00:02:24.590 --> 00:02:25.824
  • IS SO IMPORTANT.AND I KNOW, GOING INTO
  • 00:02:25.824 --> 00:02:27.292
  • AND I KNOW, GOING INTOMARRIAGE, I CAN'T EXPECT THAT
  • 00:02:27.292 --> 00:02:29.061
  • MARRIAGE, I CAN'T EXPECT THATMY HUSBAND IS GOING TO FIX
  • 00:02:29.061 --> 00:02:30.662
  • MY HUSBAND IS GOING TO FIXEVERYTHING AND THAT I'M NEVER
  • 00:02:30.662 --> 00:02:31.363
  • EVERYTHING AND THAT I'M NEVERGONNA BE LONELY.
  • 00:02:31.363 --> 00:02:32.598
  • GONNA BE LONELY.AND I CAN SAY MY MARRIED
  • 00:02:32.598 --> 00:02:34.466
  • AND I CAN SAY MY MARRIEDFRIENDS -- THEY ACTUALLY TALK
  • 00:02:34.466 --> 00:02:35.968
  • FRIENDS -- THEY ACTUALLY TALKTO ME ABOUT THE FACT THAT THEY
  • 00:02:35.968 --> 00:02:36.835
  • TO ME ABOUT THE FACT THAT THEYSOMETIMES FEEL SO LONELY IN
  • 00:02:36.835 --> 00:02:40.138
  • SOMETIMES FEEL SO LONELY INTHEIR OWN MARRIAGES.
  • 00:02:40.138 --> 00:02:41.173
  • THEIR OWN MARRIAGES.SO, I KNOW IT'S NOT SOMETHING
  • 00:02:41.173 --> 00:02:42.341
  • SO, I KNOW IT'S NOT SOMETHINGTHAT IS AUTOMATICALLY GOING TO
  • 00:02:42.341 --> 00:02:45.377
  • THAT IS AUTOMATICALLY GOING TOBE FIXED...BY MARRIAGE.
  • 00:02:45.377 --> 00:02:46.945
  • BE FIXED...BY MARRIAGE.BUT I CAN SAY THIS: FOR ME,
  • 00:02:46.945 --> 00:02:49.481
  • BUT I CAN SAY THIS: FOR ME,HAVING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS IS
  • 00:02:49.481 --> 00:02:50.415
  • HAVING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ISSOMETHING SO IMPORTANT FOR ME
  • 00:02:50.415 --> 00:02:52.317
  • SOMETHING SO IMPORTANT FOR METO DO AND FOR ME TO TEND.
  • 00:02:52.317 --> 00:02:54.019
  • TO DO AND FOR ME TO TEND.AND EVEN IF IT MEANS LEAVING A
  • 00:02:54.019 --> 00:02:55.654
  • AND EVEN IF IT MEANS LEAVING ACITY TO GO TO ANOTHER CITY, IF
  • 00:02:55.654 --> 00:02:58.123
  • CITY TO GO TO ANOTHER CITY, IFTHAT IS SOMETHING I HAVE TO DO
  • 00:02:58.123 --> 00:03:01.026
  • THAT IS SOMETHING I HAVE TO DOTO MAKE SURE I'M NOT ISOLATING,
  • 00:03:01.026 --> 00:03:01.927
  • TO MAKE SURE I'M NOT ISOLATING,TO MAKE SURE THAT WHEN
  • 00:03:01.927 --> 00:03:02.427
  • TO MAKE SURE THAT WHENMY FRIENDS HAVE NOT
  • 00:03:02.427 --> 00:03:03.028
  • MY FRIENDS HAVE NOTHEARD FROM ME IN A WHILE
  • 00:03:03.028 --> 00:03:04.563
  • HEARD FROM ME IN A WHILETHAT THEY'RE GONNA BE
  • 00:03:04.563 --> 00:03:05.864
  • THAT THEY'RE GONNA BEABLE TO COME TO MY DOOR AND
  • 00:03:05.864 --> 00:03:06.932
  • ABLE TO COME TO MY DOOR ANDSOMETIMES GET ME OUT OF MY
  • 00:03:06.932 --> 00:03:07.666
  • SOMETIMES GET ME OUT OF MYHOUSE, WHICH IS THE LAST THING
  • 00:03:07.666 --> 00:03:08.834
  • HOUSE, WHICH IS THE LAST THINGTHAT I WANT.
  • 00:03:08.834 --> 00:03:10.168
  • THAT I WANT.BUT, I REMEMBER IN THAT
  • 00:03:10.168 --> 00:03:12.170
  • BUT, I REMEMBER IN THATCONVERSATION WITH ALEX, MY
  • 00:03:12.170 --> 00:03:14.339
  • CONVERSATION WITH ALEX, MYPASTOR, SHE SAID, "WOULD IT BE
  • 00:03:14.339 --> 00:03:16.208
  • PASTOR, SHE SAID, "WOULD IT BEPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO GIVE YOUR
  • 00:03:16.208 --> 00:03:18.043
  • POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO GIVE YOURKEY TO SOMEBODY?"
  • 00:03:18.043 --> 00:03:19.278
  • KEY TO SOMEBODY?"AND SO, KNOWING THAT THESE
  • 00:03:19.278 --> 00:03:20.846
  • AND SO, KNOWING THAT THESECONVERSATIONS THAT WE ARE
  • 00:03:20.846 --> 00:03:22.180
  • CONVERSATIONS THAT WE AREHAVING HERE, I TOOK SOME
  • 00:03:22.180 --> 00:03:23.849
  • HAVING HERE, I TOOK SOMEPRACTICAL STEPS AFTER THAT
  • 00:03:23.849 --> 00:03:25.017
  • PRACTICAL STEPS AFTER THATCONVERSATION THAT I HAD ON
  • 00:03:25.017 --> 00:03:25.917
  • CONVERSATION THAT I HAD ON"BETTER TOGETHER."
  • 00:03:25.917 --> 00:03:29.054
  • "BETTER TOGETHER."AND SO, MY PRAYER FOR THE
  • 00:03:29.054 --> 00:03:30.355
  • AND SO, MY PRAYER FOR THESINGLE PERSON WATCHING THIS
  • 00:03:30.355 --> 00:03:32.124
  • SINGLE PERSON WATCHING THISTODAY IS THAT MAYBE THEY WOULD
  • 00:03:32.124 --> 00:03:33.759
  • TODAY IS THAT MAYBE THEY WOULDLOOK AT WHAT ARE SOME PRACTICAL
  • 00:03:33.759 --> 00:03:34.993
  • LOOK AT WHAT ARE SOME PRACTICALTHINGS THAT I CAN DO IF I
  • 00:03:34.993 --> 00:03:36.061
  • THINGS THAT I CAN DO IF IBATTLE WITH LONELINESS, IF I
  • 00:03:36.061 --> 00:03:37.863
  • BATTLE WITH LONELINESS, IF IBATTLE WITH DEPRESSION OR
  • 00:03:37.863 --> 00:03:41.099
  • BATTLE WITH DEPRESSION ORMENTAL HEALTH ISSUES.
  • 00:03:41.099 --> 00:03:42.301
  • MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES.WHAT ARE SOME THINGS THAT I CAN
  • 00:03:42.301 --> 00:03:43.735
  • WHAT ARE SOME THINGS THAT I CANPUT INTO PLACE?
  • 00:03:43.735 --> 00:03:44.903
  • PUT INTO PLACE?AND, FOR ME, I THINK COMMUNITY
  • 00:03:44.903 --> 00:03:46.305
  • AND, FOR ME, I THINK COMMUNITYIS SO IMPORTANT, WHETHER YOU
  • 00:03:46.305 --> 00:03:47.406
  • IS SO IMPORTANT, WHETHER YOUARE MARRIED OR WHETHER YOU ARE
  • 00:03:47.406 --> 00:03:47.839
  • ARE MARRIED OR WHETHER YOU ARESINGLE.
  • 00:03:47.839 --> 00:03:48.840
  • SINGLE.BUT PART OF ME THINKS THAT IT'S
  • 00:03:48.840 --> 00:03:50.075
  • BUT PART OF ME THINKS THAT IT'SEVEN MORE IMPORTANT FOR THE
  • 00:03:50.075 --> 00:03:51.743
  • EVEN MORE IMPORTANT FOR THESINGLE LADIES OUT THERE WHO ARE
  • 00:03:51.743 --> 00:03:52.511
  • SINGLE LADIES OUT THERE WHO AREWATCHING.
  • 00:03:52.511 --> 00:03:53.845
  • WATCHING.I WOULD LOVE TO ASK THIS OF
  • 00:03:53.845 --> 00:03:54.680
  • I WOULD LOVE TO ASK THIS OFYOU, DR. ROBYN.
  • 00:03:54.680 --> 00:03:56.114
  • YOU, DR. ROBYN.BUT WHEN I LOOK AT THE
  • 00:03:56.114 --> 00:03:57.282
  • BUT WHEN I LOOK AT THEBEGINNING WHERE IT SAYS-- YOU
  • 00:03:57.282 --> 00:03:58.317
  • BEGINNING WHERE IT SAYS-- YOUKNOW, WHERE GOD SAYS THAT MAN
  • 00:03:58.317 --> 00:04:00.719
  • KNOW, WHERE GOD SAYS THAT MANSHOULD NOT LIVE BY HIMSELF,
  • 00:04:00.719 --> 00:04:01.820
  • SHOULD NOT LIVE BY HIMSELF,IT'S NOT GOOD FOR MAN TO BE BY
  • 00:04:01.820 --> 00:04:04.456
  • IT'S NOT GOOD FOR MAN TO BE BYHIMSELF, I GUESS I THINK THAT
  • 00:04:04.456 --> 00:04:07.125
  • HIMSELF, I GUESS I THINK THATCAN...TALK ABOUT MARRIAGE.
  • 00:04:07.125 --> 00:04:08.260
  • CAN...TALK ABOUT MARRIAGE.AND I THINK THAT, YOU KNOW, EVE
  • 00:04:08.260 --> 00:04:09.594
  • AND I THINK THAT, YOU KNOW, EVEWAS GIVEN TO ADAM IN MARRIAGE.
  • 00:04:09.594 --> 00:04:11.396
  • WAS GIVEN TO ADAM IN MARRIAGE.BUT COULDN'T IT ALSO BE
  • 00:04:11.396 --> 00:04:12.531
  • BUT COULDN'T IT ALSO BESOMETHING THAT CAN SPEAK TO US,
  • 00:04:12.531 --> 00:04:13.332
  • SOMETHING THAT CAN SPEAK TO US,AS SINGLE PEOPLE?
  • 00:04:13.332 --> 00:04:14.700
  • AS SINGLE PEOPLE?IT'S NOT GOOD FOR US TO BE BY
  • 00:04:14.700 --> 00:04:15.767
  • IT'S NOT GOOD FOR US TO BE BYOURSELVES.
  • 00:04:15.767 --> 00:04:16.902
  • OURSELVES.AND, EVEN IF IT'S NOT A
  • 00:04:16.902 --> 00:04:18.203
  • AND, EVEN IF IT'S NOT AHUSBAND, COULDN'T IT JUST BE
  • 00:04:18.203 --> 00:04:18.970
  • HUSBAND, COULDN'T IT JUST BEGOOD, HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS AND
  • 00:04:18.970 --> 00:04:20.539
  • GOOD, HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ANDFRIENDSHIP?
  • 00:04:20.539 --> 00:04:21.273
  • FRIENDSHIP?- DR. ROBYN WILKERSON:
  • 00:04:21.273 --> 00:04:21.707
  • - DR. ROBYN WILKERSON:ABSOLUTELY.
  • 00:04:21.707 --> 00:04:23.108
  • ABSOLUTELY.AND I THINK THAT, SOMETIMES,
  • 00:04:23.108 --> 00:04:24.743
  • AND I THINK THAT, SOMETIMES,IT'S GOOD TO JUST KIND OF HAVE
  • 00:04:24.743 --> 00:04:26.878
  • IT'S GOOD TO JUST KIND OF HAVESOME SELF-AWARENESS, LIKE
  • 00:04:26.878 --> 00:04:28.380
  • SOME SELF-AWARENESS, LIKEYOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, RIGHT
  • 00:04:28.380 --> 00:04:30.582
  • YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, RIGHTNOW, AND TO JUST BE HONEST
  • 00:04:30.582 --> 00:04:32.417
  • NOW, AND TO JUST BE HONESTWITH OURSELVES AND GIVE SOME
  • 00:04:32.417 --> 00:04:37.222
  • WITH OURSELVES AND GIVE SOMESELF-ASSESSMENT.
  • 00:04:37.222 --> 00:04:37.856
  • SELF-ASSESSMENT.AND THAT WOULD BE TO JUST KIND
  • 00:04:37.856 --> 00:04:39.157
  • AND THAT WOULD BE TO JUST KINDOF LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SAY:
  • 00:04:39.157 --> 00:04:44.396
  • OF LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SAY:IT'S OKAY TO BE ME, IN REGARD
  • 00:04:44.396 --> 00:04:45.630
  • IT'S OKAY TO BE ME, IN REGARDTO THINGS LIKE SELF-ISOLATING.
  • 00:04:45.630 --> 00:04:48.066
  • TO THINGS LIKE SELF-ISOLATING.LET ME EXPLAIN WHAT I MEAN.
  • 00:04:48.066 --> 00:04:51.403
  • LET ME EXPLAIN WHAT I MEAN.IF PEOPLE DRAIN YOU, AFTER
  • 00:04:51.403 --> 00:04:53.271
  • IF PEOPLE DRAIN YOU, AFTERYOU'VE BEEN AROUND PEOPLE FOR A
  • 00:04:53.271 --> 00:04:54.840
  • YOU'VE BEEN AROUND PEOPLE FOR AWHILE, THAT MEANS THAT MAYBE
  • 00:04:54.840 --> 00:05:00.212
  • WHILE, THAT MEANS THAT MAYBEYOU'RE A NATURAL INTROVERT,
  • 00:05:00.212 --> 00:05:01.446
  • YOU'RE A NATURAL INTROVERT,JUST A LITTLE BIT.
  • 00:05:01.446 --> 00:05:02.347
  • JUST A LITTLE BIT.IF PEOPLE ENERGIZE YOU, AND
  • 00:05:02.347 --> 00:05:05.283
  • IF PEOPLE ENERGIZE YOU, ANDYOU'RE NEVER TIRED OF THE
  • 00:05:05.283 --> 00:05:06.852
  • YOU'RE NEVER TIRED OF THECROWD, WELL, THEN, MAYBE YOU'RE
  • 00:05:06.852 --> 00:05:08.620
  • CROWD, WELL, THEN, MAYBE YOU'REA NATURAL EXTROVERT.
  • 00:05:08.620 --> 00:05:10.589
  • A NATURAL EXTROVERT.I HAVE BOTH KINDS OF PEOPLE IN
  • 00:05:10.589 --> 00:05:12.023
  • I HAVE BOTH KINDS OF PEOPLE INMY FAMILY, MY BIOLOGICAL
  • 00:05:12.023 --> 00:05:14.259
  • MY FAMILY, MY BIOLOGICALFAMILY.
  • 00:05:14.259 --> 00:05:15.394
  • FAMILY.THEY ARE BOTH.
  • 00:05:15.394 --> 00:05:17.796
  • THEY ARE BOTH.AND, THAT'S NATURAL FOR THEM.
  • 00:05:17.796 --> 00:05:20.966
  • AND, THAT'S NATURAL FOR THEM.ME -- I'M A ISOLATOR.
  • 00:05:20.966 --> 00:05:22.667
  • ME -- I'M A ISOLATOR.I TEND TO ISOLATE MYSELF.
  • 00:05:22.667 --> 00:05:25.504
  • I TEND TO ISOLATE MYSELF.AND THEN, WHEN I'M NOT FEELING
  • 00:05:25.504 --> 00:05:26.772
  • AND THEN, WHEN I'M NOT FEELINGSO STRONG, OR NOT FEELING SO
  • 00:05:26.772 --> 00:05:28.140
  • SO STRONG, OR NOT FEELING SOGREAT ABOUT MYSELF, I HAVE A
  • 00:05:28.140 --> 00:05:30.041
  • GREAT ABOUT MYSELF, I HAVE ATENDENCY TO PULL BACK EVEN
  • 00:05:30.041 --> 00:05:32.043
  • TENDENCY TO PULL BACK EVENMORE.
  • 00:05:32.043 --> 00:05:33.245
  • MORE.SO, THAT'S AN AWARENESS OF WHO
  • 00:05:33.245 --> 00:05:34.546
  • SO, THAT'S AN AWARENESS OF WHOI AM.
  • 00:05:34.546 --> 00:05:36.748
  • I AM.IT'S OKAY TO BE ME!
  • 00:05:36.748 --> 00:05:38.617
  • IT'S OKAY TO BE ME!IT'S OKAY TO BE YOU.
  • 00:05:38.617 --> 00:05:41.686
  • IT'S OKAY TO BE YOU.AND WE NEED TO BE AWARE OF WHAT
  • 00:05:41.686 --> 00:05:43.522
  • AND WE NEED TO BE AWARE OF WHATOUR NATURAL TENDENCY IS,
  • 00:05:43.522 --> 00:05:45.490
  • OUR NATURAL TENDENCY IS,WHETHER WE'RE SINGLE OR WHETHER
  • 00:05:45.490 --> 00:05:46.158
  • WHETHER WE'RE SINGLE OR WHETHERWE'RE MARRIED.
  • 00:05:46.158 --> 00:05:48.460
  • WE'RE MARRIED.NOW, THERE IS A BIBLE
  • 00:05:48.460 --> 00:05:52.998
  • NOW, THERE IS A BIBLEPRINCIPLE, THOUGH, AND GOD
  • 00:05:52.998 --> 00:05:54.232
  • PRINCIPLE, THOUGH, AND GODALWAYS HONORS HIS WORD.
  • 00:05:54.232 --> 00:05:55.033
  • ALWAYS HONORS HIS WORD.AND THAT IS: WHAT WE...PLANT,
  • 00:05:55.033 --> 00:06:00.539
  • AND THAT IS: WHAT WE...PLANT,WE WILL HARVEST.
  • 00:06:00.539 --> 00:06:01.072
  • WE WILL HARVEST.NOW, WHAT DOES IT SAY IN
  • 00:06:01.072 --> 00:06:02.607
  • NOW, WHAT DOES IT SAY IN1 THESSALONIANS 5:11?
  • 00:06:02.607 --> 00:06:05.143
  • 1 THESSALONIANS 5:11?"SO, ENCOURAGE EACH OTHER AND
  • 00:06:05.143 --> 00:06:07.412
  • "SO, ENCOURAGE EACH OTHER ANDBUILD EACH OTHER UP, JUST AS
  • 00:06:07.412 --> 00:06:10.715
  • BUILD EACH OTHER UP, JUST ASYOU ARE ALREADY DOING."
  • 00:06:10.715 --> 00:06:12.584
  • YOU ARE ALREADY DOING."SO, HERE'S A LIFE PRINCIPLE
  • 00:06:12.584 --> 00:06:14.453
  • SO, HERE'S A LIFE PRINCIPLETHAT I HAVE FOUND WORKS -- IT
  • 00:06:14.453 --> 00:06:17.189
  • THAT I HAVE FOUND WORKS -- ITJUST WORKS.
  • 00:06:17.189 --> 00:06:18.256
  • JUST WORKS.THIS IS WHY YOU NEED TO BE PART
  • 00:06:18.256 --> 00:06:21.026
  • THIS IS WHY YOU NEED TO BE PARTOF A LOCAL FELLOWSHIP, PART OF
  • 00:06:21.026 --> 00:06:22.360
  • OF A LOCAL FELLOWSHIP, PART OFA CHURCH, AND THEN, PART OF
  • 00:06:22.360 --> 00:06:24.796
  • A CHURCH, AND THEN, PART OFLIKE A CONNECT GROUP, AND HAVE
  • 00:06:24.796 --> 00:06:29.167
  • LIKE A CONNECT GROUP, AND HAVEA FRIEND AND GIVE THEM A KEY,
  • 00:06:29.167 --> 00:06:30.068
  • A FRIEND AND GIVE THEM A KEY,LIKE YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT.
  • 00:06:30.068 --> 00:06:30.669
  • LIKE YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT.AND HERE'S THE PRINCIPLE: WHAT
  • 00:06:30.669 --> 00:06:33.772
  • AND HERE'S THE PRINCIPLE: WHATI MAKE HAPPEN FOR OTHERS, GOD
  • 00:06:33.772 --> 00:06:37.976
  • I MAKE HAPPEN FOR OTHERS, GODWILL MAKE HAPPEN FOR ME.
  • 00:06:37.976 --> 00:06:39.177
  • WILL MAKE HAPPEN FOR ME.WHAT I MAKE HAPPEN FOR OTHERS,
  • 00:06:39.177 --> 00:06:42.714
  • WHAT I MAKE HAPPEN FOR OTHERS,GOD WILL MAKE HAPPEN FOR ME.
  • 00:06:42.714 --> 00:06:44.382
  • GOD WILL MAKE HAPPEN FOR ME.IN OTHER WORDS, THE ONE WHO
  • 00:06:44.382 --> 00:06:46.051
  • IN OTHER WORDS, THE ONE WHOBLESSES OTHERS IS ABUNDANTLY
  • 00:06:46.051 --> 00:06:48.086
  • BLESSES OTHERS IS ABUNDANTLYBLESSED!
  • 00:06:48.086 --> 00:06:49.521
  • BLESSED!THOSE WHO HELP OTHERS, HE SAYS
  • 00:06:49.521 --> 00:06:51.022
  • THOSE WHO HELP OTHERS, HE SAYSIN PROVERBS 11:25, WILL BE
  • 00:06:51.022 --> 00:06:53.225
  • IN PROVERBS 11:25, WILL BEHELPED!
  • 00:06:53.225 --> 00:06:53.925
  • HELPED!NOW, WHY AM I TELLING YOU THAT
  • 00:06:53.925 --> 00:06:54.860
  • NOW, WHY AM I TELLING YOU THATSTORY?
  • 00:06:54.860 --> 00:06:56.495
  • STORY?I HAVE A VERY CLOSE FRIEND.
  • 00:06:56.495 --> 00:06:59.865
  • I HAVE A VERY CLOSE FRIEND.AND, SHE...THOUGHT SHE WAS IN
  • 00:06:59.865 --> 00:07:00.665
  • AND, SHE...THOUGHT SHE WAS INREALLY HAPPY MARRIAGE.
  • 00:07:00.665 --> 00:07:06.271
  • REALLY HAPPY MARRIAGE.AND, SHE KNEW THAT HER HUSBAND
  • 00:07:06.271 --> 00:07:07.172
  • AND, SHE KNEW THAT HER HUSBANDWAS TROUBLED, BUT SHE LOVED
  • 00:07:07.172 --> 00:07:08.507
  • WAS TROUBLED, BUT SHE LOVEDHIM.
  • 00:07:08.507 --> 00:07:09.808
  • HIM.THEY HAD CHILDREN.
  • 00:07:09.808 --> 00:07:12.310
  • THEY HAD CHILDREN.AND SHE HAD A JOB THAT TOOK HER
  • 00:07:12.310 --> 00:07:14.212
  • AND SHE HAD A JOB THAT TOOK HEROUT OF TOWN A LOT.
  • 00:07:14.212 --> 00:07:16.248
  • OUT OF TOWN A LOT.AND, WITH THAT, SHE WOULD ASK,
  • 00:07:16.248 --> 00:07:18.316
  • AND, WITH THAT, SHE WOULD ASK,"I-I TRIED TO CALL YOU AND YOU
  • 00:07:18.316 --> 00:07:20.852
  • "I-I TRIED TO CALL YOU AND YOUDIDN'T ANSWER THE PHONE."
  • 00:07:20.852 --> 00:07:21.453
  • DIDN'T ANSWER THE PHONE."AND, HE WOULD ALWAYS HAVE A
  • 00:07:21.453 --> 00:07:22.387
  • AND, HE WOULD ALWAYS HAVE ASTORY.
  • 00:07:22.387 --> 00:07:24.122
  • STORY.WELL...TIME WENT ON AND SHE
  • 00:07:24.122 --> 00:07:27.292
  • WELL...TIME WENT ON AND SHEREAD A LOT OF ARTICLES ABOUT
  • 00:07:27.292 --> 00:07:29.728
  • READ A LOT OF ARTICLES ABOUT"MAN IN THE AREA" WHO WAS DOING
  • 00:07:29.728 --> 00:07:30.962
  • "MAN IN THE AREA" WHO WAS DOINGALL KINDS OF THINGS THAT WERE
  • 00:07:30.962 --> 00:07:34.966
  • ALL KINDS OF THINGS THAT WEREHURTING WOMEN.
  • 00:07:34.966 --> 00:07:36.067
  • HURTING WOMEN.AND I'LL JUST CUT TO THE CHASE.
  • 00:07:36.067 --> 00:07:38.870
  • AND I'LL JUST CUT TO THE CHASE.SHE DISCOVERED, UNFORTUNATELY,
  • 00:07:38.870 --> 00:07:40.005
  • SHE DISCOVERED, UNFORTUNATELY,THAT HE WAS CHARGED WITH THOSE
  • 00:07:40.005 --> 00:07:43.475
  • THAT HE WAS CHARGED WITH THOSETERRIBLE CRIMES.
  • 00:07:43.475 --> 00:07:44.776
  • TERRIBLE CRIMES.- MANDISA: WOW.
  • 00:07:44.776 --> 00:07:45.577
  • - MANDISA: WOW.- DR. ROBYN: AND HE WAS PUT ON
  • 00:07:45.577 --> 00:07:46.144
  • - DR. ROBYN: AND HE WAS PUT ONTRIAL AND HE WAS ULTIMATELY
  • 00:07:46.144 --> 00:07:48.813
  • TRIAL AND HE WAS ULTIMATELYSENT TO JAIL.
  • 00:07:48.813 --> 00:07:50.348
  • SENT TO JAIL.AND NOT SENT TO JAIL FOR A
  • 00:07:50.348 --> 00:07:50.982
  • AND NOT SENT TO JAIL FOR ASHORT TIME -- DECADES AND
  • 00:07:50.982 --> 00:07:53.318
  • SHORT TIME -- DECADES ANDDECADES.
  • 00:07:53.318 --> 00:07:54.319
  • DECADES.AND, UNFORTUNATELY, HE IS
  • 00:07:54.319 --> 00:07:55.420
  • AND, UNFORTUNATELY, HE ISTHERE, RIGHT NOW, SERVING TIME
  • 00:07:55.420 --> 00:07:58.189
  • THERE, RIGHT NOW, SERVING TIMEFOR THOSE...CRIMES.
  • 00:07:58.189 --> 00:07:58.924
  • FOR THOSE...CRIMES.NOW, WHY AM I TELLING YOU THAT
  • 00:07:58.924 --> 00:07:59.658
  • NOW, WHY AM I TELLING YOU THATSTORY?
  • 00:07:59.658 --> 00:08:01.192
  • STORY?THIS PARTICULAR FRIEND OF
  • 00:08:01.192 --> 00:08:05.297
  • THIS PARTICULAR FRIEND OFMINE -- SHE TURNS OUT TO BE
  • 00:08:05.297 --> 00:08:06.965
  • MINE -- SHE TURNS OUT TO BETHAT PERSONALITY WHO IS
  • 00:08:06.965 --> 00:08:11.436
  • THAT PERSONALITY WHO ISENERGIZED BY PEOPLE.
  • 00:08:11.436 --> 00:08:12.771
  • ENERGIZED BY PEOPLE.AND SHE TURNED OUT TO BE THE
  • 00:08:12.771 --> 00:08:14.105
  • AND SHE TURNED OUT TO BE THEWIFE THAT DIDN'T WANT TO BE
  • 00:08:14.105 --> 00:08:16.107
  • WIFE THAT DIDN'T WANT TO BESINGLE.
  • 00:08:16.107 --> 00:08:18.209
  • SINGLE.AND AS IT TURNS OUT, SHE IS
  • 00:08:18.209 --> 00:08:19.844
  • AND AS IT TURNS OUT, SHE ISSTILL IN A SEASON WHERE SHE HAS
  • 00:08:19.844 --> 00:08:24.149
  • STILL IN A SEASON WHERE SHE HASNOT BEEN ABLE TO GET REMARRIED.
  • 00:08:24.149 --> 00:08:25.650
  • NOT BEEN ABLE TO GET REMARRIED.AND SHE BATTLES LONELINESS.
  • 00:08:25.650 --> 00:08:28.420
  • AND SHE BATTLES LONELINESS.AND YET, I HAVE WATCHED HER
  • 00:08:28.420 --> 00:08:32.824
  • AND YET, I HAVE WATCHED HERMAKE HAPPEN FOR OTHERS.
  • 00:08:32.824 --> 00:08:33.425
  • MAKE HAPPEN FOR OTHERS.AND SHE HAS INVESTED
  • 00:08:33.425 --> 00:08:36.528
  • AND SHE HAS INVESTEDHER LOVE AND HER FRIENDSHIP,
  • 00:08:36.528 --> 00:08:38.096
  • HER LOVE AND HER FRIENDSHIP,AND SHE TAKES THE COOKIES,
  • 00:08:38.096 --> 00:08:39.731
  • AND SHE TAKES THE COOKIES,AND SHE'S PART OF THE
  • 00:08:39.731 --> 00:08:40.999
  • AND SHE'S PART OF THECONNECT GROUP, AND SHE
  • 00:08:40.999 --> 00:08:42.033
  • CONNECT GROUP, AND SHESERVES AT THE CHURCH.
  • 00:08:42.033 --> 00:08:44.102
  • SERVES AT THE CHURCH.AND I'M TELLING THIS TO GIVE
  • 00:08:44.102 --> 00:08:45.303
  • AND I'M TELLING THIS TO GIVETHE TESTIMONY THAT, 20 YEARS
  • 00:08:45.303 --> 00:08:47.405
  • THE TESTIMONY THAT, 20 YEARSLATER, WHAT HAPPENED?
  • 00:08:47.405 --> 00:08:49.608
  • LATER, WHAT HAPPENED?DID SHE LOSE HER CAR?
  • 00:08:49.608 --> 00:08:51.142
  • DID SHE LOSE HER CAR?DID SHE LOSE HER HOME?
  • 00:08:51.142 --> 00:08:51.810
  • DID SHE LOSE HER HOME?DID SHE LOSE HER JOB?
  • 00:08:51.810 --> 00:08:54.312
  • DID SHE LOSE HER JOB?NO!
  • 00:08:54.312 --> 00:08:55.413
  • NO![SMACKING OF PALM FOR EMPHASIS]
  • 00:08:55.413 --> 00:08:56.815
  • [SMACKING OF PALM FOR EMPHASIS]JESUS SUSTAINED HER THROUGH
  • 00:08:56.815 --> 00:08:57.582
  • JESUS SUSTAINED HER THROUGHTHAT.
  • 00:08:57.582 --> 00:09:01.052
  • THAT.AND HER GIRLS WENT TO COLLEGE,
  • 00:09:01.052 --> 00:09:02.153
  • AND HER GIRLS WENT TO COLLEGE,THEY GOT MARRIED, THEY HAD
  • 00:09:02.153 --> 00:09:02.787
  • THEY GOT MARRIED, THEY HADCHILDREN, AND HER TESTIMONY IS
  • 00:09:02.787 --> 00:09:05.890
  • CHILDREN, AND HER TESTIMONY ISTHAT WHAT YOU MAKE
  • 00:09:05.890 --> 00:09:07.892
  • THAT WHAT YOU MAKEHAPPEN FOR OTHERS,
  • 00:09:07.892 --> 00:09:10.962
  • HAPPEN FOR OTHERS,GOD WILL MAKE HAPPEN FOR YOU.
  • 00:09:10.962 --> 00:09:12.664
  • GOD WILL MAKE HAPPEN FOR YOU.WE HAVE THE WEAPONS TO BE THE
  • 00:09:12.664 --> 00:09:15.800
  • WE HAVE THE WEAPONS TO BE THEWARRIOR.
  • 00:09:15.800 --> 00:09:20.372
  • WARRIOR.AS WE OVERCOME IN THESE
  • 00:09:20.372 --> 00:09:22.207
  • AS WE OVERCOME IN THESECIRCUMSTANCES, GOD WILL BE WITH
  • 00:09:22.207 --> 00:09:24.976
  • CIRCUMSTANCES, GOD WILL BE WITHUS, EVEN WHEN THE SINGLE LIFE
  • 00:09:24.976 --> 00:09:27.078
  • US, EVEN WHEN THE SINGLE LIFEIS NOT THE EASY LIFE, OR EVEN
  • 00:09:27.078 --> 00:09:29.280
  • IS NOT THE EASY LIFE, OR EVENWHEN THE MARRIED LIFE-- SHE WAS
  • 00:09:29.280 --> 00:09:31.383
  • WHEN THE MARRIED LIFE-- SHE WASA MARRIED WOMAN!
  • 00:09:31.383 --> 00:09:32.751
  • A MARRIED WOMAN!AND IT DIDN'T TURN OUT TO BE
  • 00:09:32.751 --> 00:09:34.586
  • AND IT DIDN'T TURN OUT TO BETHE EASY LIFE.
  • 00:09:34.586 --> 00:09:36.087
  • THE EASY LIFE.THERE ISN'T NECESSARILY A
  • 00:09:36.087 --> 00:09:38.990
  • THERE ISN'T NECESSARILY APATHWAY THAT'S EASY.
  • 00:09:38.990 --> 00:09:40.825
  • PATHWAY THAT'S EASY.GOD DOESN'T PROMISE THAT IT'S
  • 00:09:40.825 --> 00:09:41.660
  • GOD DOESN'T PROMISE THAT IT'SGOING TO BE EASY.
  • 00:09:41.660 --> 00:09:42.394
  • GOING TO BE EASY.PEOPLE MAKE CHOICES.
  • 00:09:42.394 --> 00:09:43.962
  • PEOPLE MAKE CHOICES.HE MADE THE WRONG CHOICE.
  • 00:09:43.962 --> 00:09:45.764
  • HE MADE THE WRONG CHOICE.BUT, TODAY, HER TESTIMONY
  • 00:09:45.764 --> 00:09:47.132
  • BUT, TODAY, HER TESTIMONYIS -- AND SHE'LL BE WATCHING
  • 00:09:47.132 --> 00:09:49.567
  • IS -- AND SHE'LL BE WATCHINGAND SHE'LL WANT YOU TO KNOW --
  • 00:09:49.567 --> 00:09:51.836
  • AND SHE'LL WANT YOU TO KNOW --THAT GOD IS WITH HER.
  • 00:09:51.836 --> 00:09:54.272
  • THAT GOD IS WITH HER.WHAT WE MAKE HAPPEN FOR OTHERS,
  • 00:09:54.272 --> 00:10:00.979
  • WHAT WE MAKE HAPPEN FOR OTHERS,GOD WILL MAKE HAPPEN FOR US.
  • 00:10:00.979 --> 00:10:01.646
  • GOD WILL MAKE HAPPEN FOR US.SO, THAT'S MY TESTIMONY, TODAY,
  • 00:10:01.646 --> 00:10:04.716
  • SO, THAT'S MY TESTIMONY, TODAY,THAT WE CAN OVERCOME.
  • 00:10:04.716 --> 00:10:06.651
  • THAT WE CAN OVERCOME.AND, MELINDA, YOU'RE DOING IT
  • 00:10:06.651 --> 00:10:08.486
  • AND, MELINDA, YOU'RE DOING ITEVERY DAY, AS A SINGLE WOMAN.
  • 00:10:08.486 --> 00:10:10.088
  • EVERY DAY, AS A SINGLE WOMAN.- MELINDA DOOLITTLE: YOU KNOW,
  • 00:10:10.088 --> 00:10:12.157
  • - MELINDA DOOLITTLE: YOU KNOW,I, UM...I HAVE GROWN UP
  • 00:10:12.157 --> 00:10:13.491
  • I, UM...I HAVE GROWN UPHEARING, YOU KNOW, WHAT WE MAKE
  • 00:10:13.491 --> 00:10:14.292
  • HEARING, YOU KNOW, WHAT WE MAKEHAPPEN FOR OTHERS, GOD WILL
  • 00:10:14.292 --> 00:10:16.327
  • HAPPEN FOR OTHERS, GOD WILLMAKE HAPPEN FOR US.
  • 00:10:16.327 --> 00:10:19.330
  • MAKE HAPPEN FOR US.AND, AS THE INTROVERT OF ALL
  • 00:10:19.330 --> 00:10:22.434
  • AND, AS THE INTROVERT OF ALLINTROVERTS, I...TRULY BELIEVED
  • 00:10:22.434 --> 00:10:25.403
  • INTROVERTS, I...TRULY BELIEVEDTHAT THAT MEANT, LIKE, IF I
  • 00:10:25.403 --> 00:10:26.304
  • THAT THAT MEANT, LIKE, IF ILEAVE PEOPLE ALONE, THEY WILL
  • 00:10:26.304 --> 00:10:28.273
  • LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE, THEY WILLLEAVE ME ALONE.
  • 00:10:28.273 --> 00:10:30.075
  • LEAVE ME ALONE.YOU KNOW.
  • 00:10:30.075 --> 00:10:30.975
  • YOU KNOW.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:10:30.975 --> 00:10:31.676
  • [LAUGHTER]I-- I WAS LIKE-- I REALLY
  • 00:10:31.676 --> 00:10:33.244
  • I-- I WAS LIKE-- I REALLYWANTED THAT.
  • 00:10:33.244 --> 00:10:34.212
  • WANTED THAT.IF YOU KNOW ABOUT THE
  • 00:10:34.212 --> 00:10:35.080
  • IF YOU KNOW ABOUT THEENNEAGRAM, I AM A FIVE.
  • 00:10:35.080 --> 00:10:36.214
  • ENNEAGRAM, I AM A FIVE.AND I'VE BEEN CALLED "THE
  • 00:10:36.214 --> 00:10:37.582
  • AND I'VE BEEN CALLED "THEFIVIEST FIVE WHO EVER FIVED."
  • 00:10:37.582 --> 00:10:40.118
  • FIVIEST FIVE WHO EVER FIVED."[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:10:40.118 --> 00:10:40.919
  • [LAUGHTER]AND I...I QUITE ENJOY THAT
  • 00:10:40.919 --> 00:10:43.254
  • AND I...I QUITE ENJOY THATTIME.
  • 00:10:43.254 --> 00:10:44.723
  • TIME.BUT WHAT I'M LEARNING IN THIS
  • 00:10:44.723 --> 00:10:46.191
  • BUT WHAT I'M LEARNING IN THISPROCESS IS THAT THE BEAUTY IS
  • 00:10:46.191 --> 00:10:47.559
  • PROCESS IS THAT THE BEAUTY ISTRULY IN THE BALANCE.
  • 00:10:47.559 --> 00:10:50.528
  • TRULY IN THE BALANCE.AND, UM, IN THIS QUARANTINE
  • 00:10:50.528 --> 00:10:52.997
  • AND, UM, IN THIS QUARANTINETIME THAT WE'RE IN, EVEN RIGHT
  • 00:10:52.997 --> 00:10:55.667
  • TIME THAT WE'RE IN, EVEN RIGHTNOW, I'VE-- I WAS LIKE: OH!
  • 00:10:55.667 --> 00:10:56.968
  • NOW, I'VE-- I WAS LIKE: OH!THERE'S A NAME FOR WHAT I'VE
  • 00:10:56.968 --> 00:10:57.569
  • THERE'S A NAME FOR WHAT I'VEBEEN DOING ALL MY LIFE.
  • 00:10:57.569 --> 00:10:58.403
  • BEEN DOING ALL MY LIFE.I'VE BEEN QUARANTINING.
  • 00:10:58.403 --> 00:11:01.973
  • I'VE BEEN QUARANTINING.AND, WHAT GOD HAS KIND OF
  • 00:11:01.973 --> 00:11:05.110
  • AND, WHAT GOD HAS KIND OFWORKED WITH ME ON IS THAT
  • 00:11:05.110 --> 00:11:07.112
  • WORKED WITH ME ON IS THATCONNECTION AND COMMUNITY IS
  • 00:11:07.112 --> 00:11:09.414
  • CONNECTION AND COMMUNITY ISREALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT, AND
  • 00:11:09.414 --> 00:11:12.417
  • REALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT, ANDTHAT THE BALANCE OF ME GETTING,
  • 00:11:12.417 --> 00:11:14.486
  • THAT THE BALANCE OF ME GETTING,YOU KNOW, ENERGIZED BY BEING BY
  • 00:11:14.486 --> 00:11:18.223
  • YOU KNOW, ENERGIZED BY BEING BYMYSELF SHOULD ALSO BE BALANCED
  • 00:11:18.223 --> 00:11:21.860
  • MYSELF SHOULD ALSO BE BALANCEDWITH SPENDING TIME IN COMMUNITY
  • 00:11:21.860 --> 00:11:24.162
  • WITH SPENDING TIME IN COMMUNITYAND FINDING THOSE PEOPLE THAT
  • 00:11:24.162 --> 00:11:25.430
  • AND FINDING THOSE PEOPLE THATDO GIVE LIFE.
  • 00:11:25.430 --> 00:11:26.898
  • DO GIVE LIFE.AND, I HAVE TWO SINGLE WOMEN
  • 00:11:26.898 --> 00:11:28.266
  • AND, I HAVE TWO SINGLE WOMENTHAT I MEET WITH EVERY SINGLE
  • 00:11:28.266 --> 00:11:29.601
  • THAT I MEET WITH EVERY SINGLEWEEK, IN A GARAGE, SOCIALLY
  • 00:11:29.601 --> 00:11:31.402
  • WEEK, IN A GARAGE, SOCIALLYDISTANCED, AND WE TALK ABOUT
  • 00:11:31.402 --> 00:11:33.371
  • DISTANCED, AND WE TALK ABOUTTHE LORD.
  • 00:11:33.371 --> 00:11:34.405
  • THE LORD.BECAUSE WE KNOW, LIKE, IT'S SO
  • 00:11:34.405 --> 00:11:35.640
  • BECAUSE WE KNOW, LIKE, IT'S SOIMPORTANT TO HAVE THAT
  • 00:11:35.640 --> 00:11:37.041
  • IMPORTANT TO HAVE THATCOMMUNITY.
  • 00:11:37.041 --> 00:11:38.643
  • COMMUNITY.AND I THINK ME BEING ABLE TO
  • 00:11:38.643 --> 00:11:40.178
  • AND I THINK ME BEING ABLE TOSOW INTO THAT COMMUNITY HAS
  • 00:11:40.178 --> 00:11:41.713
  • SOW INTO THAT COMMUNITY HASPROVIDED EVEN MORE COMMUNITY.
  • 00:11:41.713 --> 00:11:43.448
  • PROVIDED EVEN MORE COMMUNITY.SO, IN A TIME WHERE WE SHOULD
  • 00:11:43.448 --> 00:11:45.483
  • SO, IN A TIME WHERE WE SHOULDPROBABLY FEEL LONELIEST, RIGHT
  • 00:11:45.483 --> 00:11:47.919
  • PROBABLY FEEL LONELIEST, RIGHTNOW, I FEEL HELD UP BY SUCH
  • 00:11:47.919 --> 00:11:52.090
  • NOW, I FEEL HELD UP BY SUCHCOMMUNITY.
  • 00:11:52.090 --> 00:11:53.525
  • COMMUNITY.AND I THINK IT HAS BEEN SO
  • 00:11:53.525 --> 00:11:56.461
  • AND I THINK IT HAS BEEN SOIMPORTANT FOR ME TO REALIZE:
  • 00:11:56.461 --> 00:11:58.797
  • IMPORTANT FOR ME TO REALIZE:RIGHT NOW, THAT COMMUNITY IS
  • 00:11:58.797 --> 00:11:59.964
  • RIGHT NOW, THAT COMMUNITY ISTHE THING THAT WILL GET ME
  • 00:11:59.964 --> 00:12:01.232
  • THE THING THAT WILL GET METHROUGH.
  • 00:12:01.232 --> 00:12:02.967
  • THROUGH.AND I THINK IN SINGLENESS OR
  • 00:12:02.967 --> 00:12:04.736
  • AND I THINK IN SINGLENESS ORJUST IN EVERYDAY LIFE --
  • 00:12:04.736 --> 00:12:07.906
  • JUST IN EVERYDAY LIFE --MARRIED, SINGLE -- YOUR
  • 00:12:07.906 --> 00:12:09.140
  • MARRIED, SINGLE -- YOURCOMMUNITY MAKES THE HUGEST
  • 00:12:09.140 --> 00:12:10.041
  • COMMUNITY MAKES THE HUGESTDIFFERENCE.
  • 00:12:10.041 --> 00:12:12.310
  • DIFFERENCE.AND I LOVE SEEING MY MARRIED
  • 00:12:12.310 --> 00:12:14.679
  • AND I LOVE SEEING MY MARRIEDFRIENDS ON HERE BE ABLE TO
  • 00:12:14.679 --> 00:12:17.148
  • FRIENDS ON HERE BE ABLE TOSTILL STAY IN COMMUNITY.
  • 00:12:17.148 --> 00:12:19.184
  • STILL STAY IN COMMUNITY.LIKE, JANICE, YOU'VE TAKEN TIME
  • 00:12:19.184 --> 00:12:21.953
  • LIKE, JANICE, YOU'VE TAKEN TIMEOUT FOR ME...LIKE, IN THE MIDST
  • 00:12:21.953 --> 00:12:24.823
  • OUT FOR ME...LIKE, IN THE MIDSTOF EVERYTHING.
  • 00:12:24.823 --> 00:12:25.857
  • OF EVERYTHING.AND THERE ARE TIMES THAT YOU
  • 00:12:25.857 --> 00:12:27.125
  • AND THERE ARE TIMES THAT YOUAND E.J. BOTH HAVE COME OVER
  • 00:12:27.125 --> 00:12:28.393
  • AND E.J. BOTH HAVE COME OVERAND WE'VE HAD SUPPER CLUB.
  • 00:12:28.393 --> 00:12:29.561
  • AND WE'VE HAD SUPPER CLUB.- JANICE GAINES: YES!
  • 00:12:29.561 --> 00:12:30.762
  • - JANICE GAINES: YES!- MELINDA: AND WE'VE HAD THE
  • 00:12:30.762 --> 00:12:33.231
  • - MELINDA: AND WE'VE HAD THEMOST BEAUTIFUL COMMUNITY.
  • 00:12:33.231 --> 00:12:34.232
  • MOST BEAUTIFUL COMMUNITY.AND I THINK THAT THAT'S SO, SO
  • 00:12:34.232 --> 00:12:34.966
  • AND I THINK THAT THAT'S SO, SOIMPORTANT.
  • 00:12:34.966 --> 00:12:36.668
  • IMPORTANT.UH, HAVILAH, WHAT IS YOUR
  • 00:12:36.668 --> 00:12:38.303
  • UH, HAVILAH, WHAT IS YOURCOMMUNITY LIKE, RIGHT NOW?
  • 00:12:38.303 --> 00:12:39.504
  • COMMUNITY LIKE, RIGHT NOW?LIKE, WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE,
  • 00:12:39.504 --> 00:12:40.738
  • LIKE, WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE,NOW THAT WE'RE KIND OF ALL
  • 00:12:40.738 --> 00:12:41.306
  • NOW THAT WE'RE KIND OF ALLSEPARATE?
  • 00:12:41.306 --> 00:12:43.107
  • SEPARATE?WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE FOR YOU?
  • 00:12:43.107 --> 00:12:43.842
  • WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE FOR YOU?- HAVILAH CUNNINGTON: WELL,
  • 00:12:43.842 --> 00:12:44.509
  • - HAVILAH CUNNINGTON: WELL,FIRST OF ALL, I WANT IN ON YOUR
  • 00:12:44.509 --> 00:12:46.978
  • FIRST OF ALL, I WANT IN ON YOURARE GROUP.
  • 00:12:46.978 --> 00:12:47.846
  • ARE GROUP.I FEEL LIKE I'M MISSING OUT.
  • 00:12:47.846 --> 00:12:48.613
  • I FEEL LIKE I'M MISSING OUT.LIKE, I'M HAVING MAJOR FOMO,
  • 00:12:48.613 --> 00:12:49.113
  • LIKE, I'M HAVING MAJOR FOMO,RIGHT NOW.
  • 00:12:49.113 --> 00:12:50.148
  • RIGHT NOW.LIKE, HOW DO I GET IN ON THIS
  • 00:12:50.148 --> 00:12:50.815
  • LIKE, HOW DO I GET IN ON THISGROUP AND HOW DO I GET INVITED?
  • 00:12:50.815 --> 00:12:51.983
  • GROUP AND HOW DO I GET INVITED?- JANICE: DO IT...DO IT.
  • 00:12:51.983 --> 00:12:52.917
  • - JANICE: DO IT...DO IT.- HAVILAH: I DON'T KNOW.
  • 00:12:52.917 --> 00:12:56.788
  • - HAVILAH: I DON'T KNOW.IS THERE-- OKAY.
  • 00:12:56.788 --> 00:12:57.689
  • IS THERE-- OKAY.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:12:57.689 --> 00:12:58.289
  • [LAUGHTER]UM, SO, I THINK COMMUNITY IS
  • 00:12:58.289 --> 00:12:58.923
  • UM, SO, I THINK COMMUNITY ISCRITICAL.
  • 00:12:58.923 --> 00:12:59.757
  • CRITICAL.I'M...AN IDENTICAL TWIN.
  • 00:12:59.757 --> 00:13:00.792
  • I'M...AN IDENTICAL TWIN.UM, AND WHEN I GOT MARRIED, I
  • 00:13:00.792 --> 00:13:02.026
  • UM, AND WHEN I GOT MARRIED, ICALL IT MY SECOND MARRIAGE
  • 00:13:02.026 --> 00:13:03.228
  • CALL IT MY SECOND MARRIAGEBECAUSE I WAS LITERALLY IN THE
  • 00:13:03.228 --> 00:13:05.430
  • BECAUSE I WAS LITERALLY IN THEWOMB WITH SOMEBODY ELSE.
  • 00:13:05.430 --> 00:13:07.432
  • WOMB WITH SOMEBODY ELSE.AND SO, I'VE BEEN AROUND PEOPLE
  • 00:13:07.432 --> 00:13:08.733
  • AND SO, I'VE BEEN AROUND PEOPLEMY WHOLE LIFE.
  • 00:13:08.733 --> 00:13:09.434
  • MY WHOLE LIFE.I SLEEP BETTER WITH SOMEBODY IN
  • 00:13:09.434 --> 00:13:10.501
  • I SLEEP BETTER WITH SOMEBODY INTHE BED.
  • 00:13:10.501 --> 00:13:11.669
  • THE BED.I JUST-- THAT'S JUST ME.
  • 00:13:11.669 --> 00:13:12.704
  • I JUST-- THAT'S JUST ME.I'VE JUST ALWAYS HAD
  • 00:13:12.704 --> 00:13:13.838
  • I'VE JUST ALWAYS HADSOMEBODY, RIGHT HERE.
  • 00:13:13.838 --> 00:13:16.341
  • SOMEBODY, RIGHT HERE.UM, BUT WHAT I DIDN'T REALIZE
  • 00:13:16.341 --> 00:13:19.043
  • UM, BUT WHAT I DIDN'T REALIZEEARLY ON -- AND I WAS A MOM
  • 00:13:19.043 --> 00:13:20.612
  • EARLY ON -- AND I WAS A MOMVERY QUICKLY, AND A WIFE, AND I
  • 00:13:20.612 --> 00:13:21.179
  • VERY QUICKLY, AND A WIFE, AND IWAS SINGLE -- IS WHAT WE'RE
  • 00:13:21.179 --> 00:13:22.747
  • WAS SINGLE -- IS WHAT WE'RETALKING ABOUT TODAY IS GETTING
  • 00:13:22.747 --> 00:13:23.348
  • TALKING ABOUT TODAY IS GETTINGYOUR NEEDS MET IN A HEALTHY
  • 00:13:23.348 --> 00:13:23.882
  • YOUR NEEDS MET IN A HEALTHYWAY.
  • 00:13:23.882 --> 00:13:24.782
  • WAY.AND WE HAVE CHOICES.
  • 00:13:24.782 --> 00:13:26.284
  • AND WE HAVE CHOICES.WE CAN EITHER GET OUR NEEDS MET
  • 00:13:26.284 --> 00:13:27.619
  • WE CAN EITHER GET OUR NEEDS METIN AN UNHEALTHY WAY -- WE CAN
  • 00:13:27.619 --> 00:13:28.887
  • IN AN UNHEALTHY WAY -- WE CANEITHER JUST EAT WHAT WE WANNA
  • 00:13:28.887 --> 00:13:30.355
  • EITHER JUST EAT WHAT WE WANNAEAT WHEN WE EAT IT, AND IT'S
  • 00:13:30.355 --> 00:13:31.923
  • EAT WHEN WE EAT IT, AND IT'SJUST: GET THAT NEED MET.
  • 00:13:31.923 --> 00:13:33.491
  • JUST: GET THAT NEED MET.OR WE CAN PLAN OUT MEALS THAT
  • 00:13:33.491 --> 00:13:34.692
  • OR WE CAN PLAN OUT MEALS THATSUSTAIN US AND BRING US
  • 00:13:34.692 --> 00:13:36.261
  • SUSTAIN US AND BRING USFULFILLMENT.
  • 00:13:36.261 --> 00:13:37.629
  • FULFILLMENT.AND SO, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT,
  • 00:13:37.629 --> 00:13:38.830
  • AND SO, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT,UM, BEING SINGLE.
  • 00:13:38.830 --> 00:13:40.098
  • UM, BEING SINGLE.WE'RE TALKING ABOUT GETTING OUR
  • 00:13:40.098 --> 00:13:41.666
  • WE'RE TALKING ABOUT GETTING OURNEEDS MET IN A HEALTHY WAY, IN
  • 00:13:41.666 --> 00:13:43.701
  • NEEDS MET IN A HEALTHY WAY, INWAYS THAT MAYBE ISN'T JUST A
  • 00:13:43.701 --> 00:13:46.170
  • WAYS THAT MAYBE ISN'T JUST A"ONE SHOT HITS ALL," BUT IT'S
  • 00:13:46.170 --> 00:13:47.238
  • "ONE SHOT HITS ALL," BUT IT'SACTUALLY GETTING OUR NEEDS MET
  • 00:13:47.238 --> 00:13:47.972
  • ACTUALLY GETTING OUR NEEDS METUNIQUELY.
  • 00:13:47.972 --> 00:13:50.208
  • UNIQUELY.AND PEOPLE USED TO THINK, WHEN
  • 00:13:50.208 --> 00:13:51.009
  • AND PEOPLE USED TO THINK, WHENI WAS SINGLE: OH, YOU HAVE ALL
  • 00:13:51.009 --> 00:13:51.643
  • I WAS SINGLE: OH, YOU HAVE ALLTHIS TIME!
  • 00:13:51.643 --> 00:13:52.877
  • THIS TIME!YOU'RE SINGLE!
  • 00:13:52.877 --> 00:13:53.745
  • YOU'RE SINGLE!YOU CAN GIVE IT TO THE LORD!
  • 00:13:53.745 --> 00:13:54.679
  • YOU CAN GIVE IT TO THE LORD!IT'S JUST AMAZING!
  • 00:13:54.679 --> 00:13:55.947
  • IT'S JUST AMAZING!AND I WOULD SAY: NO, IT'S SO
  • 00:13:55.947 --> 00:13:57.148
  • AND I WOULD SAY: NO, IT'S SOMUCH HARDER, BECAUSE I'M BUSY
  • 00:13:57.148 --> 00:13:58.816
  • MUCH HARDER, BECAUSE I'M BUSYGETTING MY NEEDS MET WITH
  • 00:13:58.816 --> 00:14:00.451
  • GETTING MY NEEDS MET WITHDIFFERENT AREAS AND PLACES.
  • 00:14:00.451 --> 00:14:01.586
  • DIFFERENT AREAS AND PLACES.AND IT REQUIRES INTENTIONALITY,
  • 00:14:01.586 --> 00:14:03.688
  • AND IT REQUIRES INTENTIONALITY,IT REQUIRES ME TO NOT JUST
  • 00:14:03.688 --> 00:14:06.491
  • IT REQUIRES ME TO NOT JUSTAUTOMATE MY LIFE.
  • 00:14:06.491 --> 00:14:08.026
  • AUTOMATE MY LIFE.I HAVE TO ACTUALLY PICK AND
  • 00:14:08.026 --> 00:14:09.894
  • I HAVE TO ACTUALLY PICK ANDCHOOSE WHO I WANNA HANG OUT
  • 00:14:09.894 --> 00:14:11.195
  • CHOOSE WHO I WANNA HANG OUTWITH, AND WHO THAT PERSON'S
  • 00:14:11.195 --> 00:14:12.030
  • WITH, AND WHO THAT PERSON'SGONNA BE FOR ME IN THIS AREA,
  • 00:14:12.030 --> 00:14:13.631
  • GONNA BE FOR ME IN THIS AREA,AND THEY HAVEN'T MADE A
  • 00:14:13.631 --> 00:14:15.133
  • AND THEY HAVEN'T MADE ALIFELONG COMMITMENT TO ME, SO
  • 00:14:15.133 --> 00:14:16.434
  • LIFELONG COMMITMENT TO ME, SOI'M PRAYING THEY WANNA HANG OUT
  • 00:14:16.434 --> 00:14:18.069
  • I'M PRAYING THEY WANNA HANG OUTWITH ME.
  • 00:14:18.069 --> 00:14:18.670
  • WITH ME.AND SO, IT'S A UNIQUE THING.
  • 00:14:18.670 --> 00:14:20.672
  • AND SO, IT'S A UNIQUE THING.AND I GUESS I WANNA SAY: IF YOU
  • 00:14:20.672 --> 00:14:23.474
  • AND I GUESS I WANNA SAY: IF YOUWANNA SAY IF YOU ARE IN A
  • 00:14:23.474 --> 00:14:24.943
  • WANNA SAY IF YOU ARE IN ASEASON OF SINGLENESS OR THAT'S
  • 00:14:24.943 --> 00:14:25.576
  • SEASON OF SINGLENESS OR THAT'SHOW YOU'VE CHOSEN TO LIVE YOUR
  • 00:14:25.576 --> 00:14:26.277
  • HOW YOU'VE CHOSEN TO LIVE YOURLIFE, GIVE YOURSELF GRACE
  • 00:14:26.277 --> 00:14:27.412
  • LIFE, GIVE YOURSELF GRACEBECAUSE YOU'RE HAVING TO
  • 00:14:27.412 --> 00:14:27.879
  • BECAUSE YOU'RE HAVING TOUNIQUELY KNOW WHAT
  • 00:14:27.879 --> 00:14:32.617
  • UNIQUELY KNOW WHATYOUR NEEDS ARE.
  • 00:14:32.617 --> 00:14:33.318
  • YOUR NEEDS ARE.FOR ME, PERSONALLY, I'M A
  • 00:14:33.318 --> 00:14:33.885
  • FOR ME, PERSONALLY, I'M ABETTER WOMAN WHEN I GET MY
  • 00:14:33.885 --> 00:14:36.287
  • BETTER WOMAN WHEN I GET MYNEEDS MET, AND I'M A BETTER
  • 00:14:36.287 --> 00:14:36.955
  • NEEDS MET, AND I'M A BETTERWOMAN WHEN I PLAN IT OUT.
  • 00:14:36.955 --> 00:14:37.989
  • WOMAN WHEN I PLAN IT OUT.I'M A SEVEN ON THE ENNEAGRAM,
  • 00:14:37.989 --> 00:14:39.390
  • I'M A SEVEN ON THE ENNEAGRAM,IF THAT HELPS YOU, SO BASICALLY
  • 00:14:39.390 --> 00:14:41.893
  • IF THAT HELPS YOU, SO BASICALLYI'M INDULGENT IN EVERY AREA OF
  • 00:14:41.893 --> 00:14:42.427
  • I'M INDULGENT IN EVERY AREA OFMY LIFE.
  • 00:14:42.427 --> 00:14:44.262
  • MY LIFE.AND SO, FOR ME, I'M THE TYPE
  • 00:14:44.262 --> 00:14:45.897
  • AND SO, FOR ME, I'M THE TYPETHAT DOESN'T EVEN KNOW I HAVE A
  • 00:14:45.897 --> 00:14:46.898
  • THAT DOESN'T EVEN KNOW I HAVE ANEED, UNTIL I'VE COMPLETELY
  • 00:14:46.898 --> 00:14:48.199
  • NEED, UNTIL I'VE COMPLETELYLOST MY WAY AND THEN REALIZED,
  • 00:14:48.199 --> 00:14:49.100
  • LOST MY WAY AND THEN REALIZED,"I HAVE A NEED!" -- AND, I'M
  • 00:14:49.100 --> 00:14:51.569
  • "I HAVE A NEED!" -- AND, I'MWAY BEHIND.
  • 00:14:51.569 --> 00:14:52.270
  • WAY BEHIND.AND SO, FOR ME, I'VE HAD TO
  • 00:14:52.270 --> 00:14:52.870
  • AND SO, FOR ME, I'VE HAD TOREALLY PLAN IT OUT AND GO:
  • 00:14:52.870 --> 00:14:53.638
  • REALLY PLAN IT OUT AND GO:OKAY.
  • 00:14:53.638 --> 00:14:54.973
  • OKAY.LIKE, UH...I REMEMBER TALKING
  • 00:14:54.973 --> 00:14:56.908
  • LIKE, UH...I REMEMBER TALKINGTO LISA BEVERE, AND HER AND I
  • 00:14:56.908 --> 00:14:58.843
  • TO LISA BEVERE, AND HER AND IARE CLOSE FRIENDS.
  • 00:14:58.843 --> 00:14:59.811
  • ARE CLOSE FRIENDS.AND SHE SAID: "HAVILAH, YOU
  • 00:14:59.811 --> 00:15:01.212
  • AND SHE SAID: "HAVILAH, YOUHAVE TO BRING SOMEBODY ON YOUR
  • 00:15:01.212 --> 00:15:02.447
  • HAVE TO BRING SOMEBODY ON YOURMINISTRY'S TRIPS WITH YOU!
  • 00:15:02.447 --> 00:15:02.947
  • MINISTRY'S TRIPS WITH YOU!YOU CAN HANG OUT!
  • 00:15:02.947 --> 00:15:03.548
  • YOU CAN HANG OUT!IT'S A GREAT WAY TO CONNECT!
  • 00:15:03.548 --> 00:15:04.349
  • IT'S A GREAT WAY TO CONNECT!IT'S GONNA BE AMAZING!"
  • 00:15:04.349 --> 00:15:05.583
  • IT'S GONNA BE AMAZING!"AND I WAS LIKE, "OKAY!"
  • 00:15:05.583 --> 00:15:07.085
  • AND I WAS LIKE, "OKAY!"AND SO, I PLANNED MINISTRY
  • 00:15:07.085 --> 00:15:08.653
  • AND SO, I PLANNED MINISTRYTRIPS WITH PEOPLE.
  • 00:15:08.653 --> 00:15:10.154
  • TRIPS WITH PEOPLE.ALL THE FRIENDS I HADN'T SEEN
  • 00:15:10.154 --> 00:15:11.723
  • ALL THE FRIENDS I HADN'T SEENIN YEARS, I WAS BRINGING THEM
  • 00:15:11.723 --> 00:15:13.358
  • IN YEARS, I WAS BRINGING THEMON TWO OR THREE MINISTRY TRIPS
  • 00:15:13.358 --> 00:15:14.926
  • ON TWO OR THREE MINISTRY TRIPSA MONTH WITH ME TO HAVE A
  • 00:15:14.926 --> 00:15:16.227
  • A MONTH WITH ME TO HAVE AREUNION TOUR ON A MINISTRY
  • 00:15:16.227 --> 00:15:18.229
  • REUNION TOUR ON A MINISTRYTRIP.
  • 00:15:18.229 --> 00:15:19.297
  • TRIP.LET ME TELL YOU -- IT WAS THE
  • 00:15:19.297 --> 00:15:19.998
  • LET ME TELL YOU -- IT WAS THEWORST THING I HAD EVER DONE.
  • 00:15:19.998 --> 00:15:20.765
  • WORST THING I HAD EVER DONE.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:15:20.765 --> 00:15:22.000
  • [LAUGHTER]I WOULD GET HOME AND I WOULD BE
  • 00:15:22.000 --> 00:15:23.301
  • I WOULD GET HOME AND I WOULD BEDELIRIOUS, AND THEN MY HUSBAND
  • 00:15:23.301 --> 00:15:25.536
  • DELIRIOUS, AND THEN MY HUSBANDWOULD BE LIKE, "HEY, HONEY..."
  • 00:15:25.536 --> 00:15:26.938
  • WOULD BE LIKE, "HEY, HONEY..."LIKE: LET'S SPEND SOME TIME.
  • 00:15:26.938 --> 00:15:27.538
  • LIKE: LET'S SPEND SOME TIME.AND I'M LIKE: I DON'T WANNA
  • 00:15:27.538 --> 00:15:28.306
  • AND I'M LIKE: I DON'T WANNATALK TO ANYBODY!
  • 00:15:28.306 --> 00:15:29.173
  • TALK TO ANYBODY!I DON'T WANNA SEE ANYBODY!
  • 00:15:29.173 --> 00:15:29.874
  • I DON'T WANNA SEE ANYBODY!I'M JUST-- I'M DONE!
  • 00:15:29.874 --> 00:15:31.943
  • I'M JUST-- I'M DONE!AND I REALIZED THAT I WAS
  • 00:15:31.943 --> 00:15:33.144
  • AND I REALIZED THAT I WASPUTTING ON SOMEBODY ELSE'S
  • 00:15:33.144 --> 00:15:34.545
  • PUTTING ON SOMEBODY ELSE'SARMOR -- LIKE, WHAT WORKED FOR
  • 00:15:34.545 --> 00:15:35.380
  • ARMOR -- LIKE, WHAT WORKED FORTHEM WASN'T GOING TO WORK FOR
  • 00:15:35.380 --> 00:15:36.647
  • THEM WASN'T GOING TO WORK FORME.
  • 00:15:36.647 --> 00:15:37.582
  • ME.AND SO, I WOULD JUST SAY,
  • 00:15:37.582 --> 00:15:38.916
  • AND SO, I WOULD JUST SAY,UM...YOU'VE GOTTA FIND YOUR
  • 00:15:38.916 --> 00:15:41.185
  • UM...YOU'VE GOTTA FIND YOURPEOPLE.
  • 00:15:41.185 --> 00:15:42.553
  • PEOPLE.YOUR PEOPLE MIGHT BE ONE OR TWO
  • 00:15:42.553 --> 00:15:43.721
  • YOUR PEOPLE MIGHT BE ONE OR TWOPEOPLE, LIKE JESUS HAD.
  • 00:15:43.721 --> 00:15:44.922
  • PEOPLE, LIKE JESUS HAD.HE HAD THE TWO.
  • 00:15:44.922 --> 00:15:46.190
  • HE HAD THE TWO.AND THEN, HE HAD THE 12.
  • 00:15:46.190 --> 00:15:47.558
  • AND THEN, HE HAD THE 12.BUT, FOR ME, I HAVE A CORE
  • 00:15:47.558 --> 00:15:49.293
  • BUT, FOR ME, I HAVE A COREGROUP OF GIRLS THAT, IN OUR
  • 00:15:49.293 --> 00:15:51.662
  • GROUP OF GIRLS THAT, IN OURPAJAMAS, OR BAREFOOT, WE SHARE
  • 00:15:51.662 --> 00:15:53.197
  • PAJAMAS, OR BAREFOOT, WE SHAREFOOD, WE SIT FOR TWO HOURS, AND
  • 00:15:53.197 --> 00:15:54.465
  • FOOD, WE SIT FOR TWO HOURS, ANDWE CRY TOGETHER, WE LAUGH
  • 00:15:54.465 --> 00:15:55.867
  • WE CRY TOGETHER, WE LAUGHTOGETHER, WE ENCOURAGE EACH
  • 00:15:55.867 --> 00:15:57.402
  • TOGETHER, WE ENCOURAGE EACHOTHER.
  • 00:15:57.402 --> 00:15:58.936
  • OTHER.AND, AS A MINISTER, UH, WHO
  • 00:15:58.936 --> 00:16:00.371
  • AND, AS A MINISTER, UH, WHOGREW UP IN A MINISTER'S HOME, I
  • 00:16:00.371 --> 00:16:01.973
  • GREW UP IN A MINISTER'S HOME, IDIDN'T KNOW THAT I WAS ALLOWED
  • 00:16:01.973 --> 00:16:03.441
  • DIDN'T KNOW THAT I WAS ALLOWEDTO GET MY NEEDS MET IN THAT
  • 00:16:03.441 --> 00:16:03.941
  • TO GET MY NEEDS MET IN THATWAY.
  • 00:16:03.941 --> 00:16:05.376
  • WAY.I ASSUMED IT WAS: COME ONE,
  • 00:16:05.376 --> 00:16:06.144
  • I ASSUMED IT WAS: COME ONE,COME ALL; I GOTTA MAKE SPACE
  • 00:16:06.144 --> 00:16:07.245
  • COME ALL; I GOTTA MAKE SPACEFOR EVERYBODY.
  • 00:16:07.245 --> 00:16:09.213
  • FOR EVERYBODY.AND IT WASN'T UNTIL I REALIZED:
  • 00:16:09.213 --> 00:16:11.282
  • AND IT WASN'T UNTIL I REALIZED:I NEED TO GET MY NEEDS MET IN A
  • 00:16:11.282 --> 00:16:12.517
  • I NEED TO GET MY NEEDS MET IN AHEALTHY WAY WITH HEALTHY PEOPLE
  • 00:16:12.517 --> 00:16:13.651
  • HEALTHY WAY WITH HEALTHY PEOPLETHAT DON'T JUST NEED TO BE
  • 00:16:13.651 --> 00:16:15.053
  • THAT DON'T JUST NEED TO BEMINISTERED TO, BUT THAT COULD
  • 00:16:15.053 --> 00:16:15.853
  • MINISTERED TO, BUT THAT COULDMINISTER TO ME.
  • 00:16:15.853 --> 00:16:16.721
  • MINISTER TO ME.[SNICKERS]
  • 00:16:16.721 --> 00:16:17.622
  • [SNICKERS]AND I HAVE SAT WITH THOSE WOMEN
  • 00:16:17.622 --> 00:16:19.424
  • AND I HAVE SAT WITH THOSE WOMENFOR SIX YEARS, EVERY OTHER
  • 00:16:19.424 --> 00:16:21.893
  • FOR SIX YEARS, EVERY OTHERWEEK, RAIN OR SHINE.
  • 00:16:21.893 --> 00:16:23.728
  • WEEK, RAIN OR SHINE.THEY'VE SEEN THE WORST OF ME,
  • 00:16:23.728 --> 00:16:24.896
  • THEY'VE SEEN THE WORST OF ME,THEY'VE SEEN THE BEST OF ME.
  • 00:16:24.896 --> 00:16:26.297
  • THEY'VE SEEN THE BEST OF ME.AND WE HAVE FORGED A
  • 00:16:26.297 --> 00:16:27.365
  • AND WE HAVE FORGED AFRIENDSHIP.
  • 00:16:27.365 --> 00:16:29.333
  • FRIENDSHIP.AND MY NEEDS GET MET WITH THOSE
  • 00:16:29.333 --> 00:16:31.369
  • AND MY NEEDS GET MET WITH THOSEWOMEN MORE THAN ANY OTHER
  • 00:16:31.369 --> 00:16:32.503
  • WOMEN MORE THAN ANY OTHERRELATIONSHIPS IN MY LIFE.
  • 00:16:32.503 --> 00:16:33.838
  • RELATIONSHIPS IN MY LIFE.AND SO, EVEN THOUGH I'M A
  • 00:16:33.838 --> 00:16:34.972
  • AND SO, EVEN THOUGH I'M AMARRIED WOMAN, I'VE GOTTA FORGE
  • 00:16:34.972 --> 00:16:36.541
  • MARRIED WOMAN, I'VE GOTTA FORGEOTHER FRIENDSHIPS.
  • 00:16:36.541 --> 00:16:37.675
  • OTHER FRIENDSHIPS.AND SO, MY ENCOURAGEMENT TO YOU
  • 00:16:37.675 --> 00:16:39.310
  • AND SO, MY ENCOURAGEMENT TO YOUIS: SOMETIMES OUR UNHAPPINESS
  • 00:16:39.310 --> 00:16:40.778
  • IS: SOMETIMES OUR UNHAPPINESSIN MARRIAGE IS BECAUSE WE
  • 00:16:40.778 --> 00:16:42.580
  • IN MARRIAGE IS BECAUSE WEEXPECT OUR SPOUSE TO BE OUR
  • 00:16:42.580 --> 00:16:43.414
  • EXPECT OUR SPOUSE TO BE OURGIRLFRIEND.
  • 00:16:43.414 --> 00:16:44.215
  • GIRLFRIEND.AND THEY ARE NOT.
  • 00:16:44.215 --> 00:16:45.450
  • AND THEY ARE NOT.THEY ARE THEIR OWN PERSON.
  • 00:16:45.450 --> 00:16:46.451
  • THEY ARE THEIR OWN PERSON.THEY HAVE THEIR OWN LIFE.
  • 00:16:46.451 --> 00:16:49.087
  • THEY HAVE THEIR OWN LIFE.AND MY JOB, AS A HEALTHY
  • 00:16:49.087 --> 00:16:51.222
  • AND MY JOB, AS A HEALTHYSPIRITUAL ADULT, IS TO FIND
  • 00:16:51.222 --> 00:16:53.124
  • SPIRITUAL ADULT, IS TO FINDWHAT NEEDS I HAVE AND TO FIGURE
  • 00:16:53.124 --> 00:16:54.792
  • WHAT NEEDS I HAVE AND TO FIGUREOUT HOW TO GET THOSE NEEDS MET
  • 00:16:54.792 --> 00:16:56.661
  • OUT HOW TO GET THOSE NEEDS METIN A HEALTHY WAY.
  • 00:16:56.661 --> 00:16:57.562
  • IN A HEALTHY WAY.THAT'S MY NUMBER-ONE JOB AND
  • 00:16:57.562 --> 00:16:58.396
  • THAT'S MY NUMBER-ONE JOB ANDRESPONSIBILITY.
  • 00:16:58.396 --> 00:17:00.398
  • RESPONSIBILITY.I OWN THIS, WHICH MEANS I'M
  • 00:17:00.398 --> 00:17:01.899
  • I OWN THIS, WHICH MEANS I'MRESPONSIBLE FOR THIS, WHICH
  • 00:17:01.899 --> 00:17:03.501
  • RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS, WHICHMAKES ME UNDERSTAND I GOTTA GO
  • 00:17:03.501 --> 00:17:04.435
  • MAKES ME UNDERSTAND I GOTTA GOOUT AND LOOK FOR IT.
  • 00:17:04.435 --> 00:17:05.703
  • OUT AND LOOK FOR IT.- JANICE: THAT'S SUCH A GOOD
  • 00:17:05.703 --> 00:17:06.537
  • - JANICE: THAT'S SUCH A GOODWORD, HAVILAH, BECAUSE, I THINK
  • 00:17:06.537 --> 00:17:08.840
  • WORD, HAVILAH, BECAUSE, I THINKYOU DON'T REALIZE, UNTIL YOU
  • 00:17:08.840 --> 00:17:10.608
  • YOU DON'T REALIZE, UNTIL YOUSTART TO GET OVERWHELMED, THAT
  • 00:17:10.608 --> 00:17:13.077
  • START TO GET OVERWHELMED, THATNOT ONLY DO YOU HAVE PERMISSION
  • 00:17:13.077 --> 00:17:14.979
  • NOT ONLY DO YOU HAVE PERMISSIONTO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOUR NEEDS
  • 00:17:14.979 --> 00:17:16.047
  • TO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOUR NEEDSARE AND MAKE SURE THEY'RE MET,
  • 00:17:16.047 --> 00:17:16.781
  • ARE AND MAKE SURE THEY'RE MET,BUT, PLEASE DO.
  • 00:17:16.781 --> 00:17:17.915
  • BUT, PLEASE DO.BECAUSE, EVERYBODY IS DEPENDING
  • 00:17:17.915 --> 00:17:20.151
  • BECAUSE, EVERYBODY IS DEPENDINGON THAT.
  • 00:17:20.151 --> 00:17:21.853
  • ON THAT.AND I HAVE FOUND THAT, IF I LET
  • 00:17:21.853 --> 00:17:22.720
  • AND I HAVE FOUND THAT, IF I LETTHE LORD BUILD MY COMMUNITY,
  • 00:17:22.720 --> 00:17:25.990
  • THE LORD BUILD MY COMMUNITY,IT'S GONNA BE FILLED WITH LOTS
  • 00:17:25.990 --> 00:17:27.959
  • IT'S GONNA BE FILLED WITH LOTSOF DIFFERENT TYPES OF PEOPLE.
  • 00:17:27.959 --> 00:17:29.827
  • OF DIFFERENT TYPES OF PEOPLE.BECAUSE THE LORD SURROUNDED
  • 00:17:29.827 --> 00:17:32.096
  • BECAUSE THE LORD SURROUNDEDHIMSELF, EVEN, WITH LOTS OF
  • 00:17:32.096 --> 00:17:33.397
  • HIMSELF, EVEN, WITH LOTS OFDIFFERENT TYPES OF PEOPLE.
  • 00:17:33.397 --> 00:17:35.433
  • DIFFERENT TYPES OF PEOPLE.AND SO, THERE ARE GONNA BE
  • 00:17:35.433 --> 00:17:36.267
  • AND SO, THERE ARE GONNA BESINGLE PEOPLE, THERE ARE GONNA
  • 00:17:36.267 --> 00:17:37.902
  • SINGLE PEOPLE, THERE ARE GONNABE MARRIED PEOPLE, AS FAR AS,
  • 00:17:37.902 --> 00:17:39.237
  • BE MARRIED PEOPLE, AS FAR AS,YOU KNOW: CAN A MARRIED WOMAN
  • 00:17:39.237 --> 00:17:40.204
  • YOU KNOW: CAN A MARRIED WOMANHAVE A SINGLE FEMALE
  • 00:17:40.204 --> 00:17:40.838
  • HAVE A SINGLE FEMALEFRIENDSHIP?
  • 00:17:40.838 --> 00:17:42.140
  • FRIENDSHIP?IT'S LIKE: WELL, YEAH!
  • 00:17:42.140 --> 00:17:44.475
  • IT'S LIKE: WELL, YEAH!ABSOLUTELY.
  • 00:17:44.475 --> 00:17:45.443
  • ABSOLUTELY.WHAT I WOULD ASK IS THAT YOU
  • 00:17:45.443 --> 00:17:46.210
  • WHAT I WOULD ASK IS THAT YOUHONOR THE SEASON I'M IN AND I'M
  • 00:17:46.210 --> 00:17:46.944
  • HONOR THE SEASON I'M IN AND I'MGONNA HONOR THE SEASON THAT
  • 00:17:46.944 --> 00:17:48.646
  • GONNA HONOR THE SEASON THATYOU'RE IN.
  • 00:17:48.646 --> 00:17:49.480
  • YOU'RE IN.YOU KNOW?
  • 00:17:49.480 --> 00:17:52.250
  • YOU KNOW?- HAVILAH: SO TRUE.
  • 00:17:52.250 --> 00:17:52.917
  • - HAVILAH: SO TRUE.- JANICE: THAT WILL...COVER IT
  • 00:17:52.917 --> 00:17:53.684
  • - JANICE: THAT WILL...COVER IT-- THE KINDS OF CONVERSATIONS
  • 00:17:53.684 --> 00:17:54.185
  • -- THE KINDS OF CONVERSATIONSTHAT WE'RE GONNA HAVE.
  • 00:17:54.185 --> 00:17:54.886
  • THAT WE'RE GONNA HAVE.YOU KNOW, LIKE, THERE'S CERTAIN
  • 00:17:54.886 --> 00:17:55.786
  • YOU KNOW, LIKE, THERE'S CERTAINTHINGS I'M NOT GONNA TALK TO
  • 00:17:55.786 --> 00:17:56.954
  • THINGS I'M NOT GONNA TALK TODISA ABOUT, BECAUSE SHE WANTS
  • 00:17:56.954 --> 00:17:58.322
  • DISA ABOUT, BECAUSE SHE WANTSTO BE MARRIED, AND THAT'S JUST
  • 00:17:58.322 --> 00:18:00.124
  • TO BE MARRIED, AND THAT'S JUSTGONNA MAKE IT HARD WHEN SHE'S
  • 00:18:00.124 --> 00:18:01.392
  • GONNA MAKE IT HARD WHEN SHE'SFEELING, AS SHE CALLS IT, SUPER
  • 00:18:01.392 --> 00:18:02.827
  • FEELING, AS SHE CALLS IT, SUPERSINGLE.
  • 00:18:02.827 --> 00:18:03.427
  • SINGLE.- MANDISA: YEAH!
  • 00:18:03.427 --> 00:18:03.995
  • - MANDISA: YEAH![LAUGHTER]
  • 00:18:03.995 --> 00:18:04.595
  • [LAUGHTER]- JANICE: YOU KNOW WHAT I'M
  • 00:18:04.595 --> 00:18:04.962
  • - JANICE: YOU KNOW WHAT I'MSAYIN'?
  • 00:18:04.962 --> 00:18:05.696
  • SAYIN'?AND SO, I'M HONORING THE SEASON
  • 00:18:05.696 --> 00:18:07.131
  • AND SO, I'M HONORING THE SEASONTHAT SHE'S IN, AND LIKEWISE.
  • 00:18:07.131 --> 00:18:09.100
  • THAT SHE'S IN, AND LIKEWISE.BUT I DO THINK THE LORD BUILDS
  • 00:18:09.100 --> 00:18:10.601
  • BUT I DO THINK THE LORD BUILDSOUR COMMUNITY WITH SO MANY
  • 00:18:10.601 --> 00:18:12.036
  • OUR COMMUNITY WITH SO MANYDIFFERENT TYPES OF PEOPLE.
  • 00:18:12.036 --> 00:18:13.471
  • DIFFERENT TYPES OF PEOPLE.BECAUSE THERE'S SO MUCH TO
  • 00:18:13.471 --> 00:18:15.306
  • BECAUSE THERE'S SO MUCH TOLEARN FROM DIFFERENT TYPES OF
  • 00:18:15.306 --> 00:18:16.240
  • LEARN FROM DIFFERENT TYPES OFPEOPLE, SO MUCH TO GAIN FROM
  • 00:18:16.240 --> 00:18:18.509
  • PEOPLE, SO MUCH TO GAIN FROMTHEM.
  • 00:18:18.509 --> 00:18:19.110
  • THEM.AND I THINK, YOU KNOW, THERE
  • 00:18:19.110 --> 00:18:20.311
  • AND I THINK, YOU KNOW, THEREARE DAYS MY HUSBAND IS LIKE,
  • 00:18:20.311 --> 00:18:22.079
  • ARE DAYS MY HUSBAND IS LIKE,"NO. LIKE, FOR REAL, GO TALK TO
  • 00:18:22.079 --> 00:18:23.247
  • "NO. LIKE, FOR REAL, GO TALK TOMELINDA," BECAUSE...
  • 00:18:23.247 --> 00:18:26.684
  • MELINDA," BECAUSE...[ALL LAUGHING]
  • 00:18:26.684 --> 00:18:27.752
  • [ALL LAUGHING]HE'S LIKE-- HE TRUSTS HER AND
  • 00:18:27.752 --> 00:18:28.419
  • HE'S LIKE-- HE TRUSTS HER ANDHE'S LIKE: "SHE'S GON' HELP YOU
  • 00:18:28.419 --> 00:18:30.121
  • HE'S LIKE: "SHE'S GON' HELP YOUGET YOURSELF TOGETHER, RIGHT
  • 00:18:30.121 --> 00:18:31.022
  • GET YOURSELF TOGETHER, RIGHTNOW.
  • 00:18:31.022 --> 00:18:32.156
  • NOW.YOU SPAZZING OUT.
  • 00:18:32.156 --> 00:18:33.491
  • YOU SPAZZING OUT.GO RELAX."
  • 00:18:33.491 --> 00:18:35.960
  • GO RELAX."[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:18:35.960 --> 00:18:37.495
  • [LAUGHTER]AND IT MEANS I COME BACK AND I
  • 00:18:37.495 --> 00:18:38.496
  • AND IT MEANS I COME BACK AND IGET TO BE A BETTER WIFE BECAUSE
  • 00:18:38.496 --> 00:18:41.199
  • GET TO BE A BETTER WIFE BECAUSEI'VE SAT WITH SOMEBODY WHO
  • 00:18:41.199 --> 00:18:41.799
  • I'VE SAT WITH SOMEBODY WHOKNOWS ME AND WHO'S GOING TO
  • 00:18:41.799 --> 00:18:43.067
  • KNOWS ME AND WHO'S GOING TOTELL ME THE TRUTH IN A VERY
  • 00:18:43.067 --> 00:18:46.037
  • TELL ME THE TRUTH IN A VERYKIND AND MATTER-OF-FACT WAY.
  • 00:18:46.037 --> 00:18:47.572
  • KIND AND MATTER-OF-FACT WAY.AND SHE'S GONNA SMILE AFTER,
  • 00:18:47.572 --> 00:18:48.539
  • AND SHE'S GONNA SMILE AFTER,AND IT'S GONNA BE GRACIOUS, AND
  • 00:18:48.539 --> 00:18:50.174
  • AND IT'S GONNA BE GRACIOUS, ANDI'M GONNA HEAR THE TRUTH.
  • 00:18:50.174 --> 00:18:51.242
  • I'M GONNA HEAR THE TRUTH.AND SO, YES, WE'RE GONNA HAVE
  • 00:18:51.242 --> 00:18:52.109
  • AND SO, YES, WE'RE GONNA HAVETO BE IN COMMUNITY WITH ONE
  • 00:18:52.109 --> 00:18:52.910
  • TO BE IN COMMUNITY WITH ONEANOTHER, BECAUSE I THINK THAT'S
  • 00:18:52.910 --> 00:18:54.845
  • ANOTHER, BECAUSE I THINK THAT'SHEALTHY.
  • 00:18:54.845 --> 00:18:56.814
  • HEALTHY.WE JUST PUT THE BOUNDARIES IN
  • 00:18:56.814 --> 00:18:57.748
  • WE JUST PUT THE BOUNDARIES INPLACE SO THAT WE HONOR ONE
  • 00:18:57.748 --> 00:18:58.950
  • PLACE SO THAT WE HONOR ONEANOTHER'S SEASONS.
  • 00:18:58.950 --> 00:19:00.418
  • ANOTHER'S SEASONS.BUT WE DEFINITELY NEED TO MAKE
  • 00:19:00.418 --> 00:19:01.953
  • BUT WE DEFINITELY NEED TO MAKESURE THAT WE'RE INCLUDING
  • 00:19:01.953 --> 00:19:03.254
  • SURE THAT WE'RE INCLUDINGDIFFERENT TYPES OF PEOPLE IN
  • 00:19:03.254 --> 00:19:04.922
  • DIFFERENT TYPES OF PEOPLE INOUR COMMUNITIES, FOR SURE.
  • 00:19:04.922 --> 00:19:06.257
  • OUR COMMUNITIES, FOR SURE.- MANDISA: WELL, IT'S FUNNY.
  • 00:19:06.257 --> 00:19:07.325
  • - MANDISA: WELL, IT'S FUNNY.I'M THINKING ABOUT: YEAH,
  • 00:19:07.325 --> 00:19:09.327
  • I'M THINKING ABOUT: YEAH,YOU'RE GONNA GET THE TRUTH FROM
  • 00:19:09.327 --> 00:19:09.827
  • YOU'RE GONNA GET THE TRUTH FROMMELINDA.
  • 00:19:09.827 --> 00:19:10.795
  • MELINDA.AND SHE'S GONNA-- IF IT'S A
  • 00:19:10.795 --> 00:19:11.395
  • AND SHE'S GONNA-- IF IT'S AHARD TRUTH, SHE'S GONNA GIVE
  • 00:19:11.395 --> 00:19:12.463
  • HARD TRUTH, SHE'S GONNA GIVEYOU THREE NICE THINGS BEFORE
  • 00:19:12.463 --> 00:19:13.464
  • YOU THREE NICE THINGS BEFORESHE TELLS YOU THE HARD TRUTH.
  • 00:19:13.464 --> 00:19:15.032
  • SHE TELLS YOU THE HARD TRUTH.- JANICE: EXACTLY.
  • 00:19:15.032 --> 00:19:16.334
  • - JANICE: EXACTLY.- MANDISA: BECAUSE...THAT'S
  • 00:19:16.334 --> 00:19:17.468
  • - MANDISA: BECAUSE...THAT'SWHAT SHE DOES.
  • 00:19:17.468 --> 00:19:18.603
  • WHAT SHE DOES.AND IF YOU'VE NOT HEARD
  • 00:19:18.603 --> 00:19:19.303
  • AND IF YOU'VE NOT HEARDMELINDA'S "3 NICE THINGS"
  • 00:19:19.303 --> 00:19:20.171
  • MELINDA'S "3 NICE THINGS"PODCAST, CHECK IT OUT.
  • 00:19:20.171 --> 00:19:21.205
  • PODCAST, CHECK IT OUT.IT'S AVAILABLE NOW.
  • 00:19:21.205 --> 00:19:22.273
  • IT'S AVAILABLE NOW.- JANICE: YES.
  • 00:19:22.273 --> 00:19:23.274
  • - JANICE: YES.[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:19:23.274 --> 00:19:23.841
  • [LAUGHTER]- MANDISA: UM...BUT, I'M
  • 00:19:23.841 --> 00:19:27.812
  • - MANDISA: UM...BUT, I'MTHINKING ABOUT, UM, I HAVE THIS
  • 00:19:27.812 --> 00:19:28.479
  • THINKING ABOUT, UM, I HAVE THISTALK SHOW THAT I DID ON YOUTUBE
  • 00:19:28.479 --> 00:19:29.447
  • TALK SHOW THAT I DID ON YOUTUBECALLED "WHAT IF WE WERE REAL?"
  • 00:19:29.447 --> 00:19:30.214
  • CALLED "WHAT IF WE WERE REAL?"AND, WE TALKED ALL ABOUT
  • 00:19:30.214 --> 00:19:31.682
  • AND, WE TALKED ALL ABOUTRELATIONSHIPS.
  • 00:19:31.682 --> 00:19:33.317
  • RELATIONSHIPS.WE TALKED ABOUT SINGLENESS.
  • 00:19:33.317 --> 00:19:34.452
  • WE TALKED ABOUT SINGLENESS.AND I HAD THREE DIFFERENT
  • 00:19:34.452 --> 00:19:34.885
  • AND I HAD THREE DIFFERENTPANELS.
  • 00:19:34.885 --> 00:19:35.519
  • PANELS.THE FIRST PANEL WAS ALL GUYS.
  • 00:19:35.519 --> 00:19:39.290
  • THE FIRST PANEL WAS ALL GUYS.MOST OF THEM WERE...SINGLE.
  • 00:19:39.290 --> 00:19:40.124
  • MOST OF THEM WERE...SINGLE.UM, WE HAD A COUPLE THAT WERE
  • 00:19:40.124 --> 00:19:42.059
  • UM, WE HAD A COUPLE THAT WEREMARRIED.
  • 00:19:42.059 --> 00:19:43.694
  • MARRIED.AND THEN, I HAD A PANEL THAT
  • 00:19:43.694 --> 00:19:44.128
  • AND THEN, I HAD A PANEL THATWAS CO-ED.
  • 00:19:44.128 --> 00:19:44.929
  • WAS CO-ED.SOME WERE MARRIED; SOME WERE
  • 00:19:44.929 --> 00:19:45.696
  • SOME WERE MARRIED; SOME WERESINGLE MEN AND WOMEN.
  • 00:19:45.696 --> 00:19:46.998
  • SINGLE MEN AND WOMEN.AND THEN, I HAD A PANEL OF ALL
  • 00:19:46.998 --> 00:19:49.300
  • AND THEN, I HAD A PANEL OF ALLSINGLE LADIES.
  • 00:19:49.300 --> 00:19:50.401
  • SINGLE LADIES.AND I FOUND MYSELF, WHEN I GOT
  • 00:19:50.401 --> 00:19:52.036
  • AND I FOUND MYSELF, WHEN I GOTTO THE LAST PANEL WHERE I WAS
  • 00:19:52.036 --> 00:19:53.237
  • TO THE LAST PANEL WHERE I WASWITH ALL MY SINGLE GIRLS --
  • 00:19:53.237 --> 00:19:54.438
  • WITH ALL MY SINGLE GIRLS --'CAUSE I'M A GIRLS' GIRL -- I
  • 00:19:54.438 --> 00:19:55.840
  • 'CAUSE I'M A GIRLS' GIRL -- IFELT LIKE I COULD TRULY JUST
  • 00:19:55.840 --> 00:19:57.975
  • FELT LIKE I COULD TRULY JUSTGO...
  • 00:19:57.975 --> 00:19:59.143
  • GO...[DRAMATIC, RELIEVED EXHALATION]
  • 00:19:59.143 --> 00:19:59.744
  • [DRAMATIC, RELIEVED EXHALATION]...AND I COULD SAY ANYTHING
  • 00:19:59.744 --> 00:20:01.646
  • ...AND I COULD SAY ANYTHINGTHAT I WANTED TO.
  • 00:20:01.646 --> 00:20:02.980
  • THAT I WANTED TO.BUT HERE'S WHAT I REALIZED IS
  • 00:20:02.980 --> 00:20:04.482
  • BUT HERE'S WHAT I REALIZED ISTHAT IN-- YOU KNOW WHAT,
  • 00:20:04.482 --> 00:20:04.882
  • THAT IN-- YOU KNOW WHAT,JANICE?
  • 00:20:04.882 --> 00:20:05.950
  • JANICE?YOUR BROTHER WAS IN ONE OF
  • 00:20:05.950 --> 00:20:07.918
  • YOUR BROTHER WAS IN ONE OFTHOSE PANELS.
  • 00:20:07.918 --> 00:20:08.686
  • THOSE PANELS.- JANICE: HE SURE WAS.
  • 00:20:08.686 --> 00:20:09.353
  • - JANICE: HE SURE WAS.GO, JON!
  • 00:20:09.353 --> 00:20:09.820
  • GO, JON!- MANDISA: YEAH!
  • 00:20:09.820 --> 00:20:10.888
  • - MANDISA: YEAH!I WAS THINKING ABOUT HOW MY
  • 00:20:10.888 --> 00:20:13.457
  • I WAS THINKING ABOUT HOW MYCONVERSATIONS WITH MY SINGLE
  • 00:20:13.457 --> 00:20:15.059
  • CONVERSATIONS WITH MY SINGLEFRIENDS ARE VERY DIFFERENT THAN
  • 00:20:15.059 --> 00:20:16.894
  • FRIENDS ARE VERY DIFFERENT THANMY CONVERSATIONS WITH MY MALE
  • 00:20:16.894 --> 00:20:19.463
  • MY CONVERSATIONS WITH MY MALEFRIENDS THAT ARE SINGLE.
  • 00:20:19.463 --> 00:20:21.432
  • FRIENDS THAT ARE SINGLE.AND THOSE CONVERSATIONS ARE
  • 00:20:21.432 --> 00:20:22.233
  • AND THOSE CONVERSATIONS AREDIFFERENT THAN MY GUY FRIENDS
  • 00:20:22.233 --> 00:20:23.868
  • DIFFERENT THAN MY GUY FRIENDSTHAT ARE MARRIED.
  • 00:20:23.868 --> 00:20:25.369
  • THAT ARE MARRIED.AND SO, I'M WONDERING -- MAYBE
  • 00:20:25.369 --> 00:20:26.771
  • AND SO, I'M WONDERING -- MAYBETHIS IS A QUESTION FOR THE
  • 00:20:26.771 --> 00:20:27.738
  • THIS IS A QUESTION FOR THEMARRIED PEOPLE -- AS A SINGLE
  • 00:20:27.738 --> 00:20:30.841
  • MARRIED PEOPLE -- AS A SINGLEWOMAN, I KNOW THAT I PROBABLY
  • 00:20:30.841 --> 00:20:32.176
  • WOMAN, I KNOW THAT I PROBABLYCAN'T TALK ABOUT THE SAME KINDS
  • 00:20:32.176 --> 00:20:33.177
  • CAN'T TALK ABOUT THE SAME KINDSOF THINGS THAT I WOULD WITH
  • 00:20:33.177 --> 00:20:34.378
  • OF THINGS THAT I WOULD WITHMELINDA AND JANICE THAT I WOULD
  • 00:20:34.378 --> 00:20:36.614
  • MELINDA AND JANICE THAT I WOULDWITH JANICE'S BROTHER, JON.
  • 00:20:36.614 --> 00:20:37.982
  • WITH JANICE'S BROTHER, JON.IS THERE A DIFFERENCE-- SO,
  • 00:20:37.982 --> 00:20:39.517
  • IS THERE A DIFFERENCE-- SO,WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HAVING A
  • 00:20:39.517 --> 00:20:40.985
  • WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HAVING AVARIETY OF FRIENDSHIPS.
  • 00:20:40.985 --> 00:20:42.787
  • VARIETY OF FRIENDSHIPS.IS THERE A DIFFERENCE -- WHEN
  • 00:20:42.787 --> 00:20:44.488
  • IS THERE A DIFFERENCE -- WHENWOMEN ARE FRIENDS WITH MEN --
  • 00:20:44.488 --> 00:20:45.823
  • WOMEN ARE FRIENDS WITH MEN --IS THERE A DIFFERENCE IF THAT
  • 00:20:45.823 --> 00:20:47.658
  • IS THERE A DIFFERENCE IF THATMAN IS MARRIED OR SINGLE?
  • 00:20:47.658 --> 00:20:49.160
  • MAN IS MARRIED OR SINGLE?LIKE, DO WE HAVE TO BE CAREFUL
  • 00:20:49.160 --> 00:20:51.495
  • LIKE, DO WE HAVE TO BE CAREFULIN OUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH MEN?
  • 00:20:51.495 --> 00:20:52.863
  • IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH MEN?I KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS.
  • 00:20:52.863 --> 00:20:54.732
  • I KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS.BUT, I'M WONDERING: AS MARRIED
  • 00:20:54.732 --> 00:20:56.567
  • BUT, I'M WONDERING: AS MARRIEDWOMEN, DO YOUR HUSBANDS HAVE
  • 00:20:56.567 --> 00:20:58.102
  • WOMEN, DO YOUR HUSBANDS HAVEFRIENDSHIPS WITH WOMEN THAT ARE
  • 00:20:58.102 --> 00:20:59.970
  • FRIENDSHIPS WITH WOMEN THAT ARESINGLE?
  • 00:20:59.970 --> 00:21:00.571
  • SINGLE?AND: DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL
  • 00:21:00.571 --> 00:21:01.672
  • AND: DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEELSOME TYPE OF WAY?
  • 00:21:01.672 --> 00:21:02.139
  • SOME TYPE OF WAY?I DON'T KNOW.
  • 00:21:02.139 --> 00:21:03.441
  • I DON'T KNOW.I'M JUST GONNA POPCORN THAT
  • 00:21:03.441 --> 00:21:04.442
  • I'M JUST GONNA POPCORN THATQUESTION TO ANY OF MY MARRIED
  • 00:21:04.442 --> 00:21:05.076
  • QUESTION TO ANY OF MY MARRIEDFRIENDS ON HERE THAT WANNA
  • 00:21:05.076 --> 00:21:06.410
  • FRIENDS ON HERE THAT WANNAANSWER.
  • 00:21:06.410 --> 00:21:07.878
  • ANSWER.- HAVILAH: GREAT QUESTION.
  • 00:21:07.878 --> 00:21:09.847
  • - HAVILAH: GREAT QUESTION.- DR. ROBYN: I WILL ANSWER,
  • 00:21:09.847 --> 00:21:10.448
  • - DR. ROBYN: I WILL ANSWER,AND THE ANSWER IS ABSOLUTELY
  • 00:21:10.448 --> 00:21:10.948
  • AND THE ANSWER IS ABSOLUTELYYES.
  • 00:21:10.948 --> 00:21:11.849
  • YES.BECAUSE, UH, LIKE I SAID, I'M
  • 00:21:11.849 --> 00:21:14.051
  • BECAUSE, UH, LIKE I SAID, I'MTHE MOM OF FOUR SONS.
  • 00:21:14.051 --> 00:21:15.486
  • THE MOM OF FOUR SONS.AND, LIKE I'D SAID, THEY'RE ALL
  • 00:21:15.486 --> 00:21:15.986
  • AND, LIKE I'D SAID, THEY'RE ALLPASTORS.
  • 00:21:15.986 --> 00:21:18.489
  • PASTORS.AND MY HUSBAND -- HE WOULD
  • 00:21:18.489 --> 00:21:20.358
  • AND MY HUSBAND -- HE WOULDADAMANTLY SAY: ABSOLUTELY YES.
  • 00:21:20.358 --> 00:21:24.595
  • ADAMANTLY SAY: ABSOLUTELY YES.BECAUSE, UH, THERE IS CLEARLY
  • 00:21:24.595 --> 00:21:27.732
  • BECAUSE, UH, THERE IS CLEARLYBOUNDARIES THAT MARRIED MEN
  • 00:21:27.732 --> 00:21:30.434
  • BOUNDARIES THAT MARRIED MENNEED TO ESTABLISH WITH SINGLE
  • 00:21:30.434 --> 00:21:31.869
  • NEED TO ESTABLISH WITH SINGLEWOMEN, ESPECIALLY CO-WORKERS.
  • 00:21:31.869 --> 00:21:34.672
  • WOMEN, ESPECIALLY CO-WORKERS.AND WHAT HAPPENS, I THINK, IN
  • 00:21:34.672 --> 00:21:35.840
  • AND WHAT HAPPENS, I THINK, INTHE WORKPLACE, ESPECIALLY, IS
  • 00:21:35.840 --> 00:21:38.376
  • THE WORKPLACE, ESPECIALLY, ISTHAT WHEN PEOPLE ARE ON A TEAM,
  • 00:21:38.376 --> 00:21:42.279
  • THAT WHEN PEOPLE ARE ON A TEAM,THERE COMES AN INTIMACY WHEN
  • 00:21:42.279 --> 00:21:43.381
  • THERE COMES AN INTIMACY WHENPEOPLE ARE WORKING TOWARDS A
  • 00:21:43.381 --> 00:21:46.584
  • PEOPLE ARE WORKING TOWARDS AGOAL, TOGETHER.
  • 00:21:46.584 --> 00:21:47.551
  • GOAL, TOGETHER.AND I THINK THAT WE, AS
  • 00:21:47.551 --> 00:21:48.786
  • AND I THINK THAT WE, ASCHRISTIAN WOMEN -- MARRIED AND
  • 00:21:48.786 --> 00:21:49.754
  • CHRISTIAN WOMEN -- MARRIED ANDSINGLE, BECAUSE I THINK EVEN
  • 00:21:49.754 --> 00:21:52.123
  • SINGLE, BECAUSE I THINK EVENMARRIED WOMEN IN THE WORKPLACE,
  • 00:21:52.123 --> 00:21:53.324
  • MARRIED WOMEN IN THE WORKPLACE,ESPECIALLY, NEED TO BE
  • 00:21:53.324 --> 00:21:55.159
  • ESPECIALLY, NEED TO BEPARTICULARLY ON GUARD THAT WE
  • 00:21:55.159 --> 00:21:58.329
  • PARTICULARLY ON GUARD THAT WEARE AWARE THAT WE PUT A
  • 00:21:58.329 --> 00:21:59.663
  • ARE AWARE THAT WE PUT ABOUNDARY AND WE SAY: I
  • 00:21:59.663 --> 00:22:01.732
  • BOUNDARY AND WE SAY: ISHOULDN'T BE TALKING ABOUT TOO
  • 00:22:01.732 --> 00:22:04.402
  • SHOULDN'T BE TALKING ABOUT TOOMANY MATTERS OF THE HEART.
  • 00:22:04.402 --> 00:22:06.237
  • MANY MATTERS OF THE HEART.MATTERS OF THE HEART NEED TO BE
  • 00:22:06.237 --> 00:22:09.707
  • MATTERS OF THE HEART NEED TO BEAT HOME WITH OTHER
  • 00:22:09.707 --> 00:22:10.608
  • AT HOME WITH OTHERRELATIONSHIPS NOT IN THE
  • 00:22:10.608 --> 00:22:11.475
  • RELATIONSHIPS NOT IN THEWORKPLACE.
  • 00:22:11.475 --> 00:22:12.510
  • WORKPLACE.SO, THERE'S A LOT TO TALK
  • 00:22:12.510 --> 00:22:13.477
  • SO, THERE'S A LOT TO TALKABOUT!
  • 00:22:13.477 --> 00:22:14.779
  • ABOUT!WE CAN HAVE A WHOLE...UH,
  • 00:22:14.779 --> 00:22:17.248
  • WE CAN HAVE A WHOLE...UH,CONVERSATION JUST ABOUT THOSE
  • 00:22:17.248 --> 00:22:18.749
  • CONVERSATION JUST ABOUT THOSEKINDS OF RELATIONSHIPS.
  • 00:22:18.749 --> 00:22:21.118
  • KINDS OF RELATIONSHIPS.AND, YES, THERE'S A LOT OF
  • 00:22:21.118 --> 00:22:23.554
  • AND, YES, THERE'S A LOT OFDIFFERENCES BETWEEN HOW WE
  • 00:22:23.554 --> 00:22:25.689
  • DIFFERENCES BETWEEN HOW WERELATE, MALE AND FEMALE, WHEN
  • 00:22:25.689 --> 00:22:27.024
  • RELATE, MALE AND FEMALE, WHENPEOPLE ARE MARRIED VERSUS
  • 00:22:27.024 --> 00:22:28.526
  • PEOPLE ARE MARRIED VERSUSSINGLE, SO.
  • 00:22:28.526 --> 00:22:30.161
  • SINGLE, SO.I'M NOT SAYING YOU CAN'T BE
  • 00:22:30.161 --> 00:22:31.529
  • I'M NOT SAYING YOU CAN'T BEFRIENDS; I'M SAYING THERE ARE
  • 00:22:31.529 --> 00:22:34.198
  • FRIENDS; I'M SAYING THERE AREFRIENDSHIPS WITH BOUNDARIES.
  • 00:22:34.198 --> 00:22:35.466
  • FRIENDSHIPS WITH BOUNDARIES.AND I'M SURE, MELINDA, YOU CAN
  • 00:22:35.466 --> 00:22:37.067
  • AND I'M SURE, MELINDA, YOU CANTALK ALL ABOUT THAT.
  • 00:22:37.067 --> 00:22:37.968
  • TALK ALL ABOUT THAT.- MELINDA: OH, YEAH, I LOVE A
  • 00:22:37.968 --> 00:22:39.136
  • - MELINDA: OH, YEAH, I LOVE AGOOD BOUNDARY.
  • 00:22:39.136 --> 00:22:43.607
  • GOOD BOUNDARY.LISTEN...
  • 00:22:43.607 --> 00:22:44.942
  • LISTEN...[LAUGHTER]
  • 00:22:44.942 --> 00:22:45.776
  • [LAUGHTER](LAUGHING) I THINK...I THINK
  • 00:22:45.776 --> 00:22:47.044
  • (LAUGHING) I THINK...I THINKTHAT, YOU KNOW, ESPECIALLY,
  • 00:22:47.044 --> 00:22:49.547
  • THAT, YOU KNOW, ESPECIALLY,LIKE, WITH MY FRIENDS WHO ARE
  • 00:22:49.547 --> 00:22:50.881
  • LIKE, WITH MY FRIENDS WHO AREMARRIED, IF I NEED TO TEXT A
  • 00:22:50.881 --> 00:22:51.782
  • MARRIED, IF I NEED TO TEXT AMARRIED MAN, LIKE I'M...IN A
  • 00:22:51.782 --> 00:22:52.450
  • MARRIED MAN, LIKE I'M...IN AGROUP TEXT WITH HE AND HIS
  • 00:22:52.450 --> 00:22:53.884
  • GROUP TEXT WITH HE AND HISWIFE.
  • 00:22:53.884 --> 00:22:55.352
  • WIFE.LIKE, I LEARNED JUST...KIND OF
  • 00:22:55.352 --> 00:22:57.621
  • LIKE, I LEARNED JUST...KIND OFWAYS THAT JUST MAKE ALL OF US
  • 00:22:57.621 --> 00:23:00.124
  • WAYS THAT JUST MAKE ALL OF USCOMFORTABLE.
  • 00:23:00.124 --> 00:23:01.625
  • COMFORTABLE.AND I THINK THAT GOD GIVES US
  • 00:23:01.625 --> 00:23:03.394
  • AND I THINK THAT GOD GIVES USWISDOM, FOR THINGS LIKE THAT.
  • 00:23:03.394 --> 00:23:06.163
  • WISDOM, FOR THINGS LIKE THAT.AND JUST KIND OF SHOWS US HOW
  • 00:23:06.163 --> 00:23:07.097
  • AND JUST KIND OF SHOWS US HOWWE SHOULD HANDLE THESE
  • 00:23:07.097 --> 00:23:08.666
  • WE SHOULD HANDLE THESESITUATIONS.
  • 00:23:08.666 --> 00:23:10.201
  • SITUATIONS.BECAUSE HE DOES WANT US IN
  • 00:23:10.201 --> 00:23:11.101
  • BECAUSE HE DOES WANT US INCOMMUNITY, BUT HE WANTS US IN
  • 00:23:11.101 --> 00:23:12.203
  • COMMUNITY, BUT HE WANTS US INCOMMUNITY IN A BEAUTIFUL WAY
  • 00:23:12.203 --> 00:23:14.104
  • COMMUNITY IN A BEAUTIFUL WAYAND IN A HEALTHY WAY FOR
  • 00:23:14.104 --> 00:23:16.207
  • AND IN A HEALTHY WAY FOREVERYONE INVOLVED.
  • 00:23:16.207 --> 00:23:18.075
  • EVERYONE INVOLVED.AND SO, I DEFINITELY LOOK TO
  • 00:23:18.075 --> 00:23:21.011
  • AND SO, I DEFINITELY LOOK TOHIM FOR HOW TO HAVE
  • 00:23:21.011 --> 00:23:23.214
  • HIM FOR HOW TO HAVERELATIONSHIPS WITH PEOPLE.
  • 00:23:23.214 --> 00:23:24.615
  • RELATIONSHIPS WITH PEOPLE.WHETHER THEY'RE SINGLE OR
  • 00:23:24.615 --> 00:23:25.950
  • WHETHER THEY'RE SINGLE ORMARRIED, I WANT IT TO BE A
  • 00:23:25.950 --> 00:23:27.017
  • MARRIED, I WANT IT TO BE AKINGDOM RELATIONSHIP.
  • 00:23:27.017 --> 00:23:29.687
  • KINGDOM RELATIONSHIP.I WANT IT TO BE SOMETHING THAT
  • 00:23:29.687 --> 00:23:30.988
  • I WANT IT TO BE SOMETHING THATREALLY BENEFITS ALL OF US
  • 00:23:30.988 --> 00:23:32.556
  • REALLY BENEFITS ALL OF USINVOLVED IN IT.
  • 00:23:32.556 --> 00:23:34.358
  • INVOLVED IN IT.AND SO, I AM DEFINITELY CAREFUL
  • 00:23:34.358 --> 00:23:36.060
  • AND SO, I AM DEFINITELY CAREFULABOUT THAT -- FOR SURE, FOR
  • 00:23:36.060 --> 00:23:37.761
  • ABOUT THAT -- FOR SURE, FORSURE.
  • 00:23:37.761 --> 00:23:39.864
  • SURE.AND I WOULD LOVE TO JUST TAKE A
  • 00:23:39.864 --> 00:23:41.599
  • AND I WOULD LOVE TO JUST TAKE AMINUTE AND TALK TO THE LADIES
  • 00:23:41.599 --> 00:23:43.167
  • MINUTE AND TALK TO THE LADIESTHAT ARE WATCHING AND SAY:
  • 00:23:43.167 --> 00:23:44.869
  • THAT ARE WATCHING AND SAY:SINGLE OR MARRIED, LIKE, WE SEE
  • 00:23:44.869 --> 00:23:50.474
  • SINGLE OR MARRIED, LIKE, WE SEEYOU.
  • 00:23:50.474 --> 00:23:51.141
  • YOU.AND GOD SEES YOU AND LOVES YOU,
  • 00:23:51.141 --> 00:23:52.643
  • AND GOD SEES YOU AND LOVES YOU,WHEREVER YOU ARE IN LIFE.
  • 00:23:52.643 --> 00:23:54.211
  • WHEREVER YOU ARE IN LIFE.AND I WOULD LOVE TO SAY A
  • 00:23:54.211 --> 00:23:56.313
  • AND I WOULD LOVE TO SAY APRAYER FOR YOU AS YOU ARE GOING
  • 00:23:56.313 --> 00:23:57.448
  • PRAYER FOR YOU AS YOU ARE GOINGTHROUGH YOUR DAY AND GOING
  • 00:23:57.448 --> 00:23:59.016
  • THROUGH YOUR DAY AND GOINGTHROUGH, UM, FINDING COMMUNITY
  • 00:23:59.016 --> 00:24:00.518
  • THROUGH, UM, FINDING COMMUNITYAND FINDING WHAT THAT LOOKS
  • 00:24:00.518 --> 00:24:02.052
  • AND FINDING WHAT THAT LOOKSLIKE.
  • 00:24:02.052 --> 00:24:03.487
  • LIKE.BECAUSE GOD HAS PROVIDED THE
  • 00:24:03.487 --> 00:24:04.922
  • BECAUSE GOD HAS PROVIDED THERIGHT PEOPLE FOR YOU.
  • 00:24:04.922 --> 00:24:06.590
  • RIGHT PEOPLE FOR YOU.SO, LORD, WE JUST THANK YOU FOR
  • 00:24:06.590 --> 00:24:08.325
  • SO, LORD, WE JUST THANK YOU FOREVERY WOMAN WATCHING, FOR
  • 00:24:08.325 --> 00:24:10.694
  • EVERY WOMAN WATCHING, FOREVERYBODY LOOKING AT THIS,
  • 00:24:10.694 --> 00:24:12.029
  • EVERYBODY LOOKING AT THIS,SAYING: WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY?
  • 00:24:12.029 --> 00:24:14.231
  • SAYING: WHERE IS MY COMMUNITY?OR: WHERE ARE THE PEOPLE THAT I
  • 00:24:14.231 --> 00:24:15.866
  • OR: WHERE ARE THE PEOPLE THAT ISHOULD BE WITH?
  • 00:24:15.866 --> 00:24:16.400
  • SHOULD BE WITH?HOW SHOULD I HAVE THIS
  • 00:24:16.400 --> 00:24:17.134
  • HOW SHOULD I HAVE THISRELATIONSHIP?
  • 00:24:17.134 --> 00:24:19.003
  • RELATIONSHIP?WE THANK YOU FOR YOUR WISDOM.
  • 00:24:19.003 --> 00:24:20.905
  • WE THANK YOU FOR YOUR WISDOM.WE THANK YOU THAT YOU LOVE US
  • 00:24:20.905 --> 00:24:22.940
  • WE THANK YOU THAT YOU LOVE USSO WELL AND THAT YOU CREATED US
  • 00:24:22.940 --> 00:24:24.608
  • SO WELL AND THAT YOU CREATED USIN THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND
  • 00:24:24.608 --> 00:24:26.677
  • IN THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ANDUNIQUE WAYS.
  • 00:24:26.677 --> 00:24:27.811
  • UNIQUE WAYS.AND, LORD, HELP US LEAN INTO
  • 00:24:27.811 --> 00:24:29.580
  • AND, LORD, HELP US LEAN INTOTHE UNIQUENESS THAT YOU'VE
  • 00:24:29.580 --> 00:24:31.148
  • THE UNIQUENESS THAT YOU'VEGIVEN US.
  • 00:24:31.148 --> 00:24:32.716
  • GIVEN US.HELP US LEARN TO CELEBRATE
  • 00:24:32.716 --> 00:24:34.285
  • HELP US LEARN TO CELEBRATETHAT.
  • 00:24:34.285 --> 00:24:35.719
  • THAT.HELP US LEARN TO SEE OURSELVES
  • 00:24:35.719 --> 00:24:38.522
  • HELP US LEARN TO SEE OURSELVESTHE WAY YOU SEE US SO THAT WE
  • 00:24:38.522 --> 00:24:40.491
  • THE WAY YOU SEE US SO THAT WECAN HAVE THE SAME LOVE FOR
  • 00:24:40.491 --> 00:24:42.059
  • CAN HAVE THE SAME LOVE FOROURSELVES THAT YOU HAVE FOR US,
  • 00:24:42.059 --> 00:24:43.661
  • OURSELVES THAT YOU HAVE FOR US,SO THAT WE CAN HAVE THE SAME
  • 00:24:43.661 --> 00:24:45.262
  • SO THAT WE CAN HAVE THE SAMEGRACE FOR OURSELVES THAT YOU
  • 00:24:45.262 --> 00:24:47.498
  • GRACE FOR OURSELVES THAT YOUHAVE FOR US, AND THAT WE CAN
  • 00:24:47.498 --> 00:24:50.467
  • HAVE FOR US, AND THAT WE CANSHOW OURSELVES THE SAME MERCY
  • 00:24:50.467 --> 00:24:52.303
  • SHOW OURSELVES THE SAME MERCYTHAT YOU SHOW US, DAY IN AND
  • 00:24:52.303 --> 00:24:53.470
  • THAT YOU SHOW US, DAY IN ANDDAY OUT, LORD.
  • 00:24:53.470 --> 00:24:54.939
  • DAY OUT, LORD.HELP US TO SEE OURSELVES AS YOU
  • 00:24:54.939 --> 00:24:57.408
  • HELP US TO SEE OURSELVES AS YOUSEE US, AND THEN HELP US TO SEE
  • 00:24:57.408 --> 00:24:59.009
  • SEE US, AND THEN HELP US TO SEEOTHERS AS YOU SEE THEM SO THAT
  • 00:24:59.009 --> 00:25:01.178
  • OTHERS AS YOU SEE THEM SO THATWHEN WE CREATE COMMUNITY WITH
  • 00:25:01.178 --> 00:25:02.580
  • WHEN WE CREATE COMMUNITY WITHTHEM, WE ARE CREATING SOMETHING
  • 00:25:02.580 --> 00:25:03.581
  • THEM, WE ARE CREATING SOMETHINGBEAUTIFUL AND SOMETHING THAT
  • 00:25:03.581 --> 00:25:06.750
  • BEAUTIFUL AND SOMETHING THATYOU HAVE ORDAINED.
  • 00:25:06.750 --> 00:25:08.452
  • YOU HAVE ORDAINED.WE THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR GIVING
  • 00:25:08.452 --> 00:25:10.754
  • WE THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR GIVINGUS A BLUEPRINT FOR HOW TO LIVE
  • 00:25:10.754 --> 00:25:12.723
  • US A BLUEPRINT FOR HOW TO LIVELIFE, LORD.
  • 00:25:12.723 --> 00:25:14.224
  • LIFE, LORD.WE THANK YOU THAT WE DON'T HAVE
  • 00:25:14.224 --> 00:25:15.426
  • WE THANK YOU THAT WE DON'T HAVETO DO THIS ON OUR OWN, WHETHER
  • 00:25:15.426 --> 00:25:16.660
  • TO DO THIS ON OUR OWN, WHETHERWE ARE SINGLE OR MARRIED.
  • 00:25:16.660 --> 00:25:18.596
  • WE ARE SINGLE OR MARRIED.WE THANK YOU THAT WE HAVE YOU
  • 00:25:18.596 --> 00:25:19.330
  • WE THANK YOU THAT WE HAVE YOUTO LEAN ON.
  • 00:25:19.330 --> 00:25:22.366
  • TO LEAN ON.AND WE APPRECIATE EVERYTHING
  • 00:25:22.366 --> 00:25:24.234
  • AND WE APPRECIATE EVERYTHINGTHAT YOU'VE DONE FOR US AND WE
  • 00:25:24.234 --> 00:25:24.768
  • THAT YOU'VE DONE FOR US AND WEWON'T TAKE IT FOR GRANTED.
  • 00:25:24.768 --> 00:25:26.537
  • WON'T TAKE IT FOR GRANTED.IN JESUS' NAME, WE PRAY...AMEN.
  • 00:25:26.537 --> 00:25:31.775
  • IN JESUS' NAME, WE PRAY...AMEN.- ALL: AMEN.
  • 00:25:31.775 --> 00:25:32.409
  • - ALL: AMEN.- LAURIE: CONNECT WITH US ON
  • 00:25:32.409 --> 00:25:33.010
  • - LAURIE: CONNECT WITH US ONSOCIAL MEDIA AND LET US KNOW
  • 00:25:33.010 --> 00:25:36.480
  • SOCIAL MEDIA AND LET US KNOWHOW OUR TEAM CAN PRAY FOR YOU.
  • 00:25:36.480 --> 00:25:38.415
  • HOW OUR TEAM CAN PRAY FOR YOU.[MUSIC]
  • 00:25:38.415 --> 00:25:39.216
  • [MUSIC]YOU CAN STREAM
  • 00:25:39.216 --> 00:25:39.850
  • YOU CAN STREAM"BETTER TOGETHER" EPISODES ON
  • 00:25:39.850 --> 00:25:40.751
  • "BETTER TOGETHER" EPISODES ONTHE GO.
  • 00:25:40.751 --> 00:25:43.153
  • THE GO.DOWNLOAD THE TBN APP TO
  • 00:25:43.153 --> 00:25:44.021
  • DOWNLOAD THE TBN APP TOWATCH ALL OF OUR LATEST
  • 00:25:44.021 --> 00:25:48.192
  • WATCH ALL OF OUR LATESTCONVERSATIONS.
  • 00:25:48.192 --> 00:25:49.193
  • CONVERSATIONS.[UPBEAT MUSIC]
  • 00:25:49.193 --> 00:25:51.028
  • [UPBEAT MUSIC]NEXT TIME ON "BETTER TOGETHER":
  • 00:25:51.028 --> 00:25:51.595
  • NEXT TIME ON "BETTER TOGETHER":- MANDISA: HERE'S WHAT I
  • 00:25:51.595 --> 00:25:53.330
  • - MANDISA: HERE'S WHAT IREALIZED: THAT I CAN JUST
  • 00:25:53.330 --> 00:25:54.932
  • REALIZED: THAT I CAN JUSTAIMLESSLY WALK IN A BUNCH OF
  • 00:25:54.932 --> 00:25:55.899
  • AIMLESSLY WALK IN A BUNCH OFDIFFERENT DIRECTIONS.
  • 00:25:55.899 --> 00:25:57.234
  • DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS.OR, I CAN REALLY CULTIVATE MY
  • 00:25:57.234 --> 00:25:59.703
  • OR, I CAN REALLY CULTIVATE MYTIME WITH THE LORD, SAYING:
  • 00:25:59.703 --> 00:26:00.871
  • TIME WITH THE LORD, SAYING:OKAY, WHAT DIRECTION DO YOU
  • 00:26:00.871 --> 00:26:02.339
  • OKAY, WHAT DIRECTION DO YOUWANT ME TO WALK IN?
  • 00:26:02.339 --> 00:26:03.307
  • WANT ME TO WALK IN?- LAURIE: WATCH
  • 00:26:03.307 --> 00:26:04.408
  • - LAURIE: WATCH"BETTER TOGETHER" WEEKDAYS AND
  • 00:26:04.408 --> 00:26:05.676
  • "BETTER TOGETHER" WEEKDAYS ANDTUESDAY NIGHTS, RIGHT HERE ON
  • 00:26:05.676 --> 00:26:08.212